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John wasn't sure what he had walked in on. Henrik had phoned in sick but Henrik never does that without being prompted, leading John to let himself into Henrik's house with the spare key under the doormat after his shift.
Henrik is sitting in his study in silence, several containers of different foods; Biscuits and oranges, bread and dried fish and random other foods all haphazardly shoved into random containers or on the desk itself.
Henrik himself hasn't noticed John's presence watching him at the door, he is dressed in his usual slacks and shirt although its crinkled and a smear of an unknown sauce across it. Henrik is eating a few pepparkaka - John remembers Henrik off handedly saying they are his favourite biscuits - there is tear marks down his flushed cheeks and he looks horribly uncomfortable, struggling to chew the hard spiced biscuits as he silently trembles.
It's clearly too much, the amount of food being forced into his stomach but he looks like he can't slow down - like he can't stop - John feels another pang of worry as he watches for a few more moments, trying to decide what to do.
He hesitates before stepping completely into Henrik's study, his shoes clicking against the hard wooden floors suddenly making Henrik look up at him like a young hare caught in the eyesight of a fox. They remain silent, Henrik heavily breathing as John looks at him confused and concerned before speaking quietly.
"Henrik? What's all this for?" He tries to be gentle, knowing Henrik could order him out of his house and never let him mention it again if he is too pushy.
Although Henrik doesn't reply, riping his eyes away from John and staring at the cluttered mess of his desk before putting his elbows on the desk and resting his head in his palms, his shoulders shuddering as he makes a broken noise that sounds like a whimper.
John doesn't say anything again, simply stepping closer and rubbing circles on Henrik's back as he looks at the desk now more close - Henrik has consumed enough food for several people in the span of a few hours at most - John grows more concerned, Henrik isn't one to eat spontaneously, he has the same breakfast, snack, lunch, dinner and supper almost everyday since John has come to the hospital.
"Do you want to lie down while I clean this up, Henrik?" John tries to sound soft yet it probably sounds condesending to him but Henrik nods, blearily blinking before shuffling out of his study and towards the staircase as John hears his footsteps go upstairs.
John sighs as he starts picking up the dishes, putting them on the counter as he scrapes the food remains into the bin and loads the dishwasher until they're all neatly packed the way Henrik likes before he starts it on the longest cycle possible, wanting an excuse to stay.
He makes a cup of tea for Henrik, adding lemon, honey and a large dash of whisky before grabbing indigestion tablets and paracetamol before following him up the stairs, knocking before entering his bedroom.
Henrik has already clambered into bed, still wearing his clothes as he softly whines, curled up under his heated blanket.
"Henrik? I brought you tea and tablets to help your stomach." John places the boxes and the mug on the nightstand before sitting on the edge of Henrik's bed, watching as he blinks and looks towards John, peering slightly without his glasses.
"John?" Henrik's voice sounds so broken and childish as he says his name John softly reaches over to pet Henrik's hair, trying to comfort him.
"You don't have to tell me...what that was if you don't want to, Henrik." John hesitates before speaking again, not wanting him to feel pressured. Henrik opens his mouth as to reply yet a wordless rasp comes out and he clamps his mouth shut.
John still feels concerned, Henrik would usually be yelling at him to get out or clinging to him for never leave him after seeing him so vulnerable yet he trembles under his blanket, his eyes closed as he silently cries aside from a few soft but pained noises every so often and sniffling.
John kicks off his own shoes, leaning to grab the tablets and getting them out've the blister sleeve - he knows Henrik won't take them on his own when he's like this - he stops stroking Henrik's hair and offers him the tablets, Henrik looks at his hand before his hand snakes out from the blankets and takes them into his mouth before reaching for the now lukewarm tea and drinking it with a gulp before curling back up.
John tries to smile, glad Henrik took the tablets without complaint but still worried because this isn't like Henrik at all. He hesitates before climbing over Henrik and laying next to him - on top of the blankets - and holding him, making soft shushing noises as Henrik trembles and weeps.
After what feels like a few hours but in reality is closer to 40 minutes Henrik moves slightly, trying to grab at a dozing John.
"Henrik? What do you need?" John whispers, not wanting to distress Henrik anymore than he already has been today.
Henrik sits up slightly against the headboard, looking at John with his still flushed face and even more crumpled shirt. John winces, knowing Henrik would never wear clothes in bed if he could help it.
He instead pulls back the blankets, patting the bed next to him. John hesitates before speaking again.
"Let's get you out of those clothes first yeah?" Henrik blinks before nodding, his fingers still shaking as he reaches for the buttons on his shirt before John leans over and does it for him, blushing slightly as he see's his friend - lover? - torso bared, his belly visibly bloated and painful, a stark different to his too thin frame as he makes another pained noise.
John gets up from the bed to get Henrik his favorite pyjamas - soft blue ones with blank detailing - and spare sweatpants and a tshirt from his drawer of Henrik's closet while Henrik finishes taking off his trousers. John quickly hands the pyjamas to him before turning around and changing himself, relaxing into the comfortable clothes as he folds his clothes and puts them ontop of a chair.
He goes back to Henrik and makes him shuffle over, letting the taller man curl against him. It feels strange - Henrik is so much taller than John yet feels so fragile against him - John quickly wraps his arms around Henrik and softly shushes him before Henrik starts speaking, his voice raspy.
"I felt out of control - I didn't mean to waste so much food - but food...I'm supposed to have control over eating but I...couldn't stop - I'm sorry John." Henrik sounds so broken - pathetic even - John just pets his hair to try and soothe him.
"Henrik it's okay - did something happen?" John lets his curiosity get the better of him, he holds Henrik tighter to try and make sure he feels safe.
"It's m-my mothers..." Henrik murmurs before cutting himself off with a choked sob, burying his head against the crook of John's shoulder.
John understands enough to not question any further, simply holding the fragile man against him and shushing him - in a few hours after Henrik eventually tires himself out and sleeps - he will pretend this never happened and the only evidence it did is the lack of pepparkaka biscuits in the cupboard.