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But John didn't start talking to the little boy until he turned three in January and his mother had brought a big cake with a pirate made of icing on top to school. John remembers that day very well. Sherlock had insisted that he could cut the cake and Mrs. Hudson, with a reluctant sigh, had handed Sherlock a plastic knife and some paper plates to put the cake on. John got the biggest slice just because he was the first in line and he got the corner part that had the most icing, including the pirate sword and the pirate's hand.
Jenifer Wilson, the girl who didn't wear anything that wasn't pink, complained that her part wasn't as big as John’s and had cried. Mrs. Hudson told Jenifer she would cut another slice for her to make up for the little piece she was handed, and Sherlock had complained because he had planned to cut the pirate according to the body parts. John thought it was a great idea (and secretly envied Greg for getting the shoulder with the parakeet attached to it because it looked really yummy) and was about to tell Mrs. Hudson that Jenifer didn't need to cry, because he had heard his mum once say that the heart was the most important part of the body and that Jenifer's part was really special, when Sherlock let out a cry as he realized that Mrs. Hudson, apparently not knowing how important the repartition was, had cut a foot in two.
John also remembers angry shouting, and Jenifer and Sally telling Sherlock that pirates were stupid.
It was the first time he had seen Sherlock cry.
John had seen the other boys and girls in the classroom cry before, sometimes even twice a week, but never Sherlock, he was braver than the rest of the boys in the school. He didn’t even cry that time when he’d climbed a tree and fallen in the little pond that had small fish in it. Anderson had fallen in that day too, after he laughed at Sherlock and Sherlock then pushed him in. Anderson had cried, but not Sherlock, and Anderson was the toughest boy in school.
Mrs. Hudson was busy trying to convince Sally and Jenifer to stop yelling, so she didn't notice when Sherlock crept out of the classroom.
All John could do was bite his lip twice, check that he was wearing his ninja turtle socks (he was) and run after Sherlock. He found him near the playground's door curled up in a corner. John had a lot of experience with crying; Harry, his baby sister, cried at least 3 times a day until his mum gave her something to eat or change her diaper. Sherlock no longer used trainer diapers, but John was still holding his cake slice, so he sat near Sherlock and offered him his half eaten sword and hand.
"Jenny doesn't know the heart is the most important part of the body."
Sherlock looked at John with big eyes that John didn't know if they were blue or gray or green and sniffed, wiping the snot on his purple jumper's sleeve. They ate cake in silence until Mrs. Hudson found them and told them that there were crisps in the classroom waiting for them.
When they came back, almost all the cake was gone and Sherlock made a face because what was left was cut into perfect square parts.
It was not until Sherlock's mum picked him up that he told John that he was wrong.
"The bwain is the most important part of the body." He said, and John didn't know what to think.
Ever since that day, Sherlock let John play with him in the sand box. They would pretend that they were pirates, and that John was half ninja turtle because that meant he was part ninja, part turtle, part pirate, and that was cool. Sherlock just made that face where his nose would scrunch up and then shrug, like he didn't know what to say to John, but didn't tell him no.
After a week of playing and eating and not napping when they should together, after they held hands when running too fast and catching bugs in the playground, John hadn't seen Sherlock cry again, but he also hadn't seen him smile or laugh.
This made John very sad.
///
John told his mum how Sherlock said the brain was the most important part of the boy, and that she said it was the heart and this made him very 'discombolubated'.
"The brain is important sweetie, but the heart is the one that holds all your emotions. When you are happy, or when you love someone, the heart is the one that lets you feel that."
She then gave John a kiss goodnight and that made him very happy. He thought about how he had never seen Sherlock smile and wondered if Sherlock's heart was sick or worse yet...
"What if you lose it mum?"
His mum had laughed and hugged him and told him you cannot lose a heart. "It's always there Johnny, but sometimes it feels lonely or sad."
"Is that why Sherlock doesn't smile?"
His mum had smiled at him and told him that maybe he should try to make something Sherlock liked and that that would make him happy.
That night John thought of pirates and how Sherlock seemed to like them the most and went to sleep with a smile on his face.
///
John was nervous and wondered if his heart also made him feel like that, his mum didn't tell him how many emotions the heart could do. He clutched his Ninja Turtle backpack in his hands like a lifeline as they drew closer to the school. That morning, after his dad dropped him off, he gave John some different flavoured candies in the shape of piratey stuff, like cannons and ships and swords. He gave his dad a big hug and thanked him (his dad was really smart for knowing what he needed) and thought Sherlock will really like this and that he will finally smile.
But still, John was nervous. What if Sherlock didn't like candy? He had never seen Sherlock eating candy. Maybe his mum didn't let him…
When John gave Sherlock the candy, he did the nose thing that meant he didn't know what to do, and John thought that it was bad. He couldn't help the tears that he could feel in his eyes, not allowing him to see Sherlock's face.
"I thought you would smile if I gave you candy, because you never smile!" John was sure that if the hiccupping and the sobbing weren't attached to that sentence it would have made more sense to Sherlock, who looked really shocked and like he didn't know what to do.
John was about to run because he didn't wanted to make Sherlock's heart more confused, like his face, when he felt the other boy hugging him.
It was then that John saw it. It was tiny, and a little bit shy, but Sherlock was smiling.
And John stopped crying.
///
In spring they made paper bugs to decorate the classroom and Sherlock and Anderson were fighting because Sherlock said spiders were not insects. Sherlock was winning, even though John knew he was wrong, when Mrs. Hudson made an announcement.
There was a girl in the front of the classroom. She was very tall, taller than Greg, and Greg was the tallest because he was the oldest at four and a half years. John thought that she was really pretty with really smooth skin and black hair, pretty red lips and blue eyes.
That was until she came to sit near Sherlock and John and told Sherlock that he was right, that spiders were not insects.
Sherlock smiled at her and John felt his heart do something akin to what worms do when they pulled them out of the dirt... it hurt.
///
Irene was her name. Everyone knew her, and everyone liked her except for John and a girl named Molly. John was sure he hadn't seen her before, but she remembered the time when John had glue in his hair and Mrs. Hudson had to call his mum because it wouldn't come out, so she must have had been there then.
John and Molly were not friends and didn't like each other much, but ever since Irene had come to the school, he was forced to play with Molly. Molly who's best friend, Jim, always seemed to be glued to Irene, just like Sherlock.
John didn't mind that Sherlock had more friends. His mum had told him that he must feel happy that others were happy, and he felt terrible that he was sad when Sherlock was just so happy with them. So much so that he no longer played with John.
Molly was really sad too, and John wondered if the same thing happened with her and Jim.
///
John had a plan.
Every night, John would draw Sherlock a pirate until he got one right and could give him the perfect one. But, every night, when he got to the part where he needed to paint the boots, he would wet the paper and the finger paint would smudge, because apparently he had started crying.
He was determined to make the perfect one so that Sherlock would keep it and want to play with him again, but he didn't know how to shut down his heart to let him finish the drawing.
///
One day, his mum saw all his drawings and she told John to at least pick them up because he was making such a mess.
Apparently John was getting really good because she said, "Sweetie these are really, really good. Do you want me to put them in the fridge?"
There were a tonne, John was sure of it.
"Are they that good?" Because John knew that his mum only put very important stuff on there, like that photo with mum and dad and Harry and John where they were all dressed nicely, or John's stars he won at school for arriving early all year, or that macaroni art he did that was a Ninja Turtle Pirate.
"Yes! John, they are really, really good. I think you might be a little artist."
John smiled. He was ready to give Sherlock the best one. But which one was the best one?
John was sure that his backpack had never been so full. He couldn't decide which one was the best, so he brought them all to school, and even though he knew his plan will work, his heart still did that thing where it felt like he’d put it in mum's washing machine.
He arrived earlier than any other kid and was just putting all his drawings on one of the round tables when Jim and Irene came in. John didn't like them, so he ignored them and kept on putting his pictures all on display. Sherlock could pick the best one, and then his mum would keep the rest.
It happened then. Jim was grabbing all his drawings, and in the process he was crumpling them! John didn't know what to do at first, but when he saw Irene smiling, he got really upset.
John didn't like the feeling. Being upset usually made his head ache and his hand twitch, but Jim was ruining his plan for getting Sherlock back, and he couldn't have that. Not after all the effort he had put into those drawings.
///
When Sherlock arrived that morning there was chaos in the classroom.
Jim and Irene were in a corner, Greg seemed upset, Sally and Jenifer were chatting in a corner and looking at Sherlock in a suspicious way, Anderson was being stupid, and Molly was looking at him with a sad expression (but she always looked at him like that anyway)
And there were pieces of torn colored paper near the round table in the corner where the classroom's hamsters live, where John usually sits...
He came closer, and immediately recognized the artist of such drawings. They were all crumpled, and most of them were torn apart, but Sherlock could still make out that they were all the same pirate over and over.
Sherlock looked around, but John was nowhere to be found. With another inspection, he could see Mrs. Hudson was talking to the attached bathroom of the classroom, and he knew that John was there.
He saw again how Jim and Irene were in a corner, and now he could hear the faint sobs in the bathroom and Sherlock knew what must have happened...
The question was, why?
John didn't come out of the bathroom until Mrs. Hudson talked to Jim and Irene about what had happened and made them apologise. Even then, John still looked sad.
Sherlock thought that it was boring and not helping John at all when they did that.
///
When John was alone in the playground, Sherlock showed him the only drawing he could find that wasn't too damaged from the fighting.
John looked surprised to see that Sherlock was the one holding the drawing.
Sherlock sat beside John. "You did this for me. You wote my name here."
Sherlock was pointing at a scribble in the corner of the paper near the pirate's boot. John didn't know how to read or write, but every time he wanted to write Sherlock's name he imagined it would look something like the scribble in the corner. John didn't know how Sherlock knew that, but he was right.
"I did that so you would like me again."
Sherlock seemed confused then, he even did the face with the nose, so John had to explain.
"You don't play with me anymore."
Sherlock didn't move for a while and when he finally did, he left John confused near the sand box alone again.
///
John didn't know what to think. He was sad, and angry, and all the wrong emotions that he was sure his heart didn't like. Then, he heard yelling coming from the classroom, followed by an intense wailing and Sherlock ran towards John, grabbed his hand and pulled him so that they were hiding behind the big tree near the small pond.
John wanted to talk, but was cut off when Sherlock suddenly hugged him.
"They were mean to you. No one makes my Jawn cry."
///
After that, they were grounded for two days without playtime for putting glue in Irene's hair and throwing Jims new trainers in the small pond. John didn't do any of this, but couldn't bear the idea of spending playtime outside all alone, looking in at Sherlock through the window.
He'd rather spend any time with Sherlock, even if that meant being grounded for something he didn't do.
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30 years later
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John was complaining out loud, and Sherlock was trying to block out the noise by playing the violin louder. He had gone through half a piece when he noticed that John was standing near the doorway looking at him with something Sherlock knew to be adoration.
Sherlock lowered his violin just in time to be thrown back on the sofa with an eager John on top.
Back near the boxes John was trying to pack, the picture of a smudged and poorly painted pirate lay in between chemistry books.
