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Tim was lost. After another argument with Jay in the hotel, he had gotten in his car and drove off. Of course he was going to come back. He wasn't just up and leaving, but it might take him a while to get back seeing as currently the surrounding area looked nothing like anything familiar.
He was driving through some suburban neighborhood, all the houses built the same with well kept lawns with a single tree in front of every one of them.
Tim almost felt jealous. He was angry at Jay. At this point in his life he should have been in a nice house, going to work, just doing the simple and mundane things. He did have a house, fuck he even lived in a middle of nowhere little town. Right now though he was on the run from Jay's best friend who was trying to kill him as well as an entity he couldn't really comprehend.
Someday he would get to go back home. Home. His house with Jay. Since when did Jay become home?
He really should get back to the hotel. It was dark out. He didn't belong here, not anymore at least.
He blacked out a lot when he drove, his body going on autopilot. He ended up near a field, probably private property but he didn't care.
He stopped his car and got out. The cold night winds hitting his exposed arms. He left his jacket at the hotel with Jay.
He sat on the hood of his car and looked up at the thousands of stars in the sky, all shimmery and bright. It was hard to feel anything but relative peace out here's *# there was Before he would never be here. He would be at this house, alone, and asleep by now on a good day, awake and sitting there with this thoughts as his brain refused to allow him to rest on a bad day.
Winter would be coming soon. It would get colder and colder. It was already pretty chilly. Staying in the car at night to conserve money would get difficult. Being on the run was difficult.
Tim paused to look around and listen to the sounds of everything around him. Crickets and mice and wind. Peaceful but empty. Somewhere along the line he had forgotten how to be alone.
Tim got back in his car, shutting the door and closing off the world as he drove back to Jay.
Jay alone in the hotel with Tim's jacket. It must have been maybe an hour or two since he left after their argument over money.
He pulled up to the hotel and it looked almost the same as every other hotel. Its shape never holding familiarity, only empty sheets.
He didn't get out of the car. He sat in the empty parking lot looking at the coveted windows and brick walls. He felt lost somehow. He knew where he was but he didn't belong here. He wasn't all here either.
He didn't really know how he had got there but now he was in front of Jay, just staring. Jay was all curled up in bed but that wasn't the thing that made him pause, it was that Jay had his jacket hugged tightly to his chest. Tim's jacket was all bundled up in Jay’s hold.
They had yelled and bickered at each other, exchanging hard words and despite that Jay was sleeping with his jacket and for some reason that meant a lot more to him than he could express.
Jay shifted in the bed, rolling over to grab his phone and check the time. When he saw Tim he paused for a second, then sat up, putting Tim's jacket aside.
“You're back.”
“Mh.”
Tim couldn't really bring himself to say a whole lot more, like a single sound from him would shatter the quiet scene. Jay tilted his head at him because he knew something was up. Tim wondered when they got that close with each other.
Jay stood up, bare chested and just in his boxers right now. Sleep clung to his body, weighing down his movements. Time felt slowed down here.
Jay took Tim by the waist and dragged him to the bed. When he sat down Jay took off Tim's shirt afro him, hands moving ever so gently and delicately.
“Tim, you in there?”
Tim nodded, eyes focusing on Jay’s hands on his chest. Jay’s slender fingers tracing over the two scars on his chest. The hands felt warm on his cold skin. He didn't know how long he had spent in the cold thinking about nothing tonight.
Jay took Tim's hand in his own, placing it on his pale chest over his heart, holding Tim's other hand to Tim's own chest, right over Tim's heart as well.
Jay closed his eyes and took steady even deep breaths. Tim mimicked him. He didn't really know what Jay was doing but it felt safe. This had become home for him.
Jay spoke up in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. “You did this for me once when i had a panic attack, said heart beats sync up.”
Tim nodded. “I remember that.”
He moved his one hand down to trace the scars on Jay’s chest. The matches his own, a whole little story in themselves.
Jay looked different somehow, above him, eyes closed, breathing deeply. Tim could feel the delicate muscle
of Jay’s chest twitch under his touch. He was beautiful.
Tim pulled Jay to himself, yawning. “Let's sleep in”
Jay nodded, snuggling up on Tim’s chest. The weight felt safe and grounded. Tim grabbed the covers and pulled it over himself and Jay, turning off the lamp in the bedside and listening to the sound of gentle breathing, the feeling of a heartbeat near his own.
Tim was home and it was more comforting than being alone in that old house. Once this was all over him and Jay could make a real home somewhere permanent and safe.
He thought about it for a second before whispering to Jay, who was all warm under the covers and against his skin.
“One day this will all be over.”
“Mhm.”
“You think it's gonna be over soon?”
“I hope so.. We can try.”
Jay took Tim's hand again, just holding it. Tim hummed at the touch and spoke again.
“After that do you wanna stay together?”
“Yeah… that would be nice.”
“Simple house. Middle of nowhere town.”
“Together.” Jay yawned. Tim smiled as he ran his free hand through his partner's hair.
“Go to bed Bluejay.”
Jay nodded, and that was that. The rest of the night was quiet and calm. Two heartbeats moving in sync, safe under each other arms and warmth.
“I love you Jay.”