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Metia is simply a story for the hopeful, a legend for the ones who need relief from suffering. Clive does not believe in Metia, not in its existence but its powers. Countless of years have passed where he prayed to the star for the one thing he desires most.

***

“Praying for something good to happen?”

“Not something. Someone.” He did not bother a glance at the group leader.

“Not sure it’ll do you any good. You’re cursed just like the rest of us, Wyvern,” Tiamat replied emotionlessly. “Don’t stare too long. We have an early day tomorrow, best get some sleep.”

He looked to the flame burning from his calloused palm, the only remnant he had of his beloved brother. Perhaps he was cursed. 

“Yes, Sergeant.”

***

And Metia, the supposed conduit, never delivered his message to the moon.

The night before embarking on his journey through the Crystalline Dominion, he prays to the red star anyway. Oh, the heavens are surely having a laugh at his misery. He swears he does not believe, but hope has him wishing. Hope is what drives him through the numerous battles with entities no normal person could survive.

His current mission to shatter Drake’s Tail takes precedence so he tries to focus on that and not how he will inevitably look to Metia again. Then something breaks his thoughts. Something loud and familiar.

The second Clive hears the long-forgotten cry of an Eikon he only dared hope to find in his dreams, he briefly thinks that he is, indeed, dreaming. Twinside is practically in ruins as he marches his way up towards the Mothercrystal. The fatigue from battle must be taking its toll on his body, his tired mind must be playing cruel tricks on him as it has done many times before because it is the only reasonable explanation to what he just heard.

Then he sees it. He sees him.

Beautiful, vibrant colors that shine brighter than any star in the night sky, all enclosed in one powerful being of fire. Clive can only stand and stare.

“Is that…?” His heart stops. Should it all be a dream, it would be the most painful one yet. “The Phoenix!” But the words leave his mouth and it revives his still heart, beating quicker than ever before.

Bahamut gives chase, but Clive finds his feet frozen to the ground. He calls out his brother’s name. There is relief, though his body tenses. There is surprise, though he has always known deep down they would find each other again. And he really should get moving, but he has to take a moment to process everything.

Only when he watches the Phoenix deftly avoid Bahamut’s attacks does Clive come back to reality. They are in Twinside, broken and pitiful Twinside, with a giant Mothercrystal standing proudly above the land. And Clive chooses to forget all of that.

Clive calls out his name once more, louder, despite the beams of light nearly striking him and Jill. He covers his face to protect it from the explosion, then his legs move to the edge without thought.

Each step brings him closer to his lost love. “Joshua. Joshua!” he yells again. Clive cannot see, cannot think, of anyone else but him.

The Phoenix soars through the air, and if Clive had anything resembling wings he would be besides Joshua in an instant, but alas, he does not. That doesn’t stop his feet from moving though, as if drawn to his brother’s very presence. Perhaps if he leapt from the cliff he would magically sprout wings, a theory he is unable to test since a pair of hands grab his arm, effectively stopping him from doing something probably stupid.

Jill says it is too dangerous. Or at least that’s what Clive thinks he hears, too distracted to really listen when Joshua is right there. Clive’s eyes track his every movement, barely even blinks despite all the debris around them. The happiness he feels is fast to fade as the worry seeps in.

“Fuck. Hold on, Joshua! I’m coming.”

It is a promise. Nothing has ever truly separated him from Joshua, and nothing ever will.

So he begins running with a newfound purpose. “We have to save him.” He refuses to lose Joshua again.

The world can wait because Clive gives it no second thought. And the world can find another savior because Clive only wants to save one person.

Yet the enemies are plentiful and strong. At this moment they serve no purpose other than to annoy Clive and slow him down. Joshua is in danger, and they don’t have much time. Anger fills him as he slashes through the hordes. He plunges his sword with much more force than necessary into anything and everything that stands between him and Joshua. There is no shred of mercy and the adrenaline brings him back to his younger days when his life was dedicated to revenge. Nostalgic and freeing. A familiar bloodlust descends upon him, but not a sliver of guilt.

The second he sees the Phoenix rise again does his sense of brutality settle. Brilliant, fiery wings spread wide occupy most of Clive’s vision, and he finds himself standing and watching again. Joshua flies gracefully even when under attack. Watching him is mesmerizing, alluring, just as the last time he saw him.

Joshua is so close Clive cannot help but reach his hand toward him. “There he is,” he says softly, almost in disbelief. Clive yells his name, shouts that he is there on the grounds below him. The desperation clear in his voice.

It is Jill who reminds him that there is no possible way Joshua could hear even a trace of his voice. Clive says his name again regardless.

“They’re heading for the heart.” Jill remains calm amidst the chaos, but she worries even so. She assures him that Joshua will be alright, which brings some solace.

The two head towards their destination, the very same one they planned on before the Phoenix made its appearance, but Clive runs there for an entirely different reason now.

No enemy is spared from his wrath. When a particularly powerful one falls to Clive’s blade, Jill comments about their increasing strength. The beasts are the last things on his mind.

“We can think about them later. Right now, there’s only one thing we need to focus on.” Or rather, one person.

“The heart,” she says determinedly.

Clive doesn’t dignify that with a response. It has never been the heart, not when Joshua is out there, alive and breathing and distracting Bahamut. He no longer wants to meet Drake’s Tail for the sole purpose of destroying it. The Mothercrystal is where he will go only because that is where Joshua will be, and wherever Joshua is, he will follow.

It only took one second for Clive’s priorities to change.

It only took that one second for Clive to leave the world behind in his pursuit for his brother. For there could be no better world worth living in if Joshua isn’t there.

What awaits him was a person he least expected. His traitor of a mother and a child she betrayed her country for.

Anabella spews venom from her mouth, fangs on display and no longer hidden behind a mask. Her words don’t puncture Clive until she brings up Joshua. How weak and frail Joshua was, how the Phoenix should have chosen Clive.

“You were the perfect fit, and yet you have failed to awaken. Why? I did everything within my power to secure my bloodline. Everything! How cursed you are, you and poor Joshua.”

She could never see the potential nor the amount of good and strength Joshua has shown at such a young age, choosing to focus on his shortcomings instead. But Clive has seen it all. He knows more than anyone how pure Joshua was despite the heavy burdens he carried. It was admirable. It was nothing short of a miracle how the tiny lord smiled every day in defiance of his own body fighting against him. Clive couldn’t be more proud.

How Clive feels when he finally releases his pent up rage against Anabella could only be described as cathartic. He tries not to glance at the boy cowardly standing behind her, his half-brother. That boy is not nearly as courageous as Joshua was, could never be as beautiful as his true younger brother.  While the child may be innocent in the grand scheme of things, Clive can’t quell his hatred, not for him or his mother.

There is much, much more Clive wants to tell Anabella, but the Phoenix crashing down before them interrupts their conversation. His fury dissipates when he sees the Eikon disappear to reveal Joshua’s body, unconscious and bleeding.

Clive is there in no time, quickly forgetting everyone around him to hold Joshua. It’s the first time in years since he’s held him, let alone touched him, but he is not blessed with enough time to savor as Bahamut soon approaches.

Instincts kick in before he can assess the situation; he doesn’t need to think before standing up to face another god-like being. Clive has been duty-bound to the Phoenix for most his life, a role he gladly plays.

But he has always been bound to Joshua from the moment he was born.

Clive strides confidently to Bahamut, great power coursing through his veins before priming with ease for the first time since awakening his powers. There is no struggle, no frustration. Calling for Ifrit never felt more natural than now. Everything felt natural with Joshua.  

Energy surges through Clive as he battles Bahamut. The Phoenix soon joins, healing him as he has always done since they were children. A red mist clouds Clive’s judgment when Bahamut aims for Joshua, the reckless urge to rip the wings from the dragon nearly takes over. If anything, Clive gains more spirit manifested in Ifrit’s abilities.

The brothers fight side by side, working in tandem like they have been partners on the battlefield for centuries. It’s easy to verbally praise Joshua when he manages to be there when Clive needs him. He finds himself sliding in a few comments here and there between shooting fire. It feels wonderful to be beside his brother once more.

There are pressing matters at hand such as Dion going on a rampage, and Joshua won’t admit it, but there is a comforting heat that envelops his body whenever Clive openly compliments him. The same heat whenever Clive used to ruffle his hair or hug him close or kiss him. But he can’t get distracted by loving memories here, not yet.

Defeating Bahamut resulted in the two merging to become one, much to Clive’s utter surprise. Their bodies joined together to form a mighty being of fire. It’s so much, too much. Clive feels as though their hearts has joined as well, connecting them in a way that is difficult to describe. Or perhaps there are two hearts that sync to each other, beating together as one. He is aware of how clear Joshua’s thoughts and emotions are now, as if they are his own. It is all incredibly intimate.

Clive absolutely revels in it. It feels like home. But it feels more than that.

And he finally has wings. Taking down Bahamut like this gives Clive a thrill like no other. He cannot help but feel a tinge of sadness once he and Joshua eventually separate. No matter though, he vows to have Joshua again.

With a fractured crystal and the battle coming to an end, Clive quickly descends from the skies and immediately sprints to his brother as soon as he reaches the ground.

He eagerly calls out, “Joshua!” as he has done many times in the past whether it was in his dreams or out of agony. This time, however, it is blissful.

Joshua struggles to stand, nevertheless he shouts Clive’s name and walks to meet him with an obvious limp.

It happens too fast and yet not fast enough. Joshua is the centerpiece in Clive’s world, so much so that Clive ignores his surroundings, vision tunneled on his brother only. He is not exactly sure where he is in that moment or who is there to witness, only that Joshua is there. It is not his mind playing tricks, it is not a recurrent dream. Joshua is finally within reach after so long and regrettably not in his arms, a problem soon remedied.

He brings Joshua into a tight hug, squeezing him enough to ensure he is real and not a figment of his imagination. Clive feels Joshua return the hug, and he knows without doubt this is real.

Clive recognizes his scent, remembers his touch, and he holds him closer. “My brother…” he whispers with a small gasp.

He wants to kiss Joshua, wants to love him again. He needs it. Clive takes Joshua’s warm face between his hands, and just that alone makes him want to weep from joy. His brother, lips stained with blood and tears flowing from his eyes, looks as beautiful as the day they were separated if not more. Joshua has always been pretty when he cries even more so now when he is years older.

Clive’s hands have only known cruelty and death, yet it becomes a gentle touch on Joshua’s skin, his thumbs affectionately rubbing the other’s tears away. 

It is all too natural when Clive brings Joshua’s face close until their foreheads touch. He wants nothing more than to feel his lips against his and he would gladly lick away the blood, the blood that belongs to Joshua, the blood that will become Clive’s.

Clive regains some decency though and pulls them apart to get a good look at Joshua; his brother is stunningly beautiful in every sense. “I never dared hope that I would see this day.” His voice breaks and the tears come falling all at once. “Joshua, I…” There are many words he could use, but none seem adequate to describe the pure delight and love that clutch his heart in a grip so crushing it would break.

Joshua falls into his arms, crying with his head buried in his neck and a hand clenched on his chest. He appears so small in Clive’s hold, like a child seeking protection. Joshua’s thinner frame fits perfectly within his brother’s strong arms. If Clive were permitted, he would hold him there forever until his very last breath, shielding him from the world that torn them apart.

But Joshua is a gift that he must share… for now. Torgal leaps onto Joshua, happily barking and licking his face. It does not take long for Jill to break down into tears. She pulls Joshua into a hug with surprising strength, her strong hold rivaling Clive’s.

A sweet reunion that does not last long as Dion strikes an akashic Olivier with his lance and Anabella taking her own life soon thereafter. Joshua feels nothing but pity for his mother.

If only Clive felt the same, but his disdain is profound. Loving Joshua came naturally; it flows throughout his soul without resistance. Anabella’s only job was to love Joshua and she failed. For that, Clive could never forgive her.

Their moment of grieving comes to a close when the ground shakes and the walls around them start crumbling. Clive’s first instinct is to protect what is his, it is why his hand grabs Joshua’s arm urging him to leave with the group.

Joshua doesn’t move with him, however, walking towards a fallen Dion instead. Clive observes how he touches the man’s hand and back with care, how Joshua holds Dion in his arms and looks at him in distress. It is obvious that Joshua and Dion have some sort of…relationship; Clive wishes it doesn’t bother him as much as it does.

It certainly does not help when Joshua says he owes the Dominant a debt. What has Joshua been doing all these years in the dark? And with whom? Irrationality fuels Clive’s jealousy and he is quite close to priming to steal Joshua away and hold him in the confines of Ifrit’s claws.

Except that Joshua looks up to him with pleading eyes, a known weakness of Clive’s. With a huff, he lifts Dion onto his shoulders and they walk away.

Yes, the Mothercrystal is no more and their mission is a success, but Clive has found someone more worthy and important to fight for than a better future.

Nothing will take Joshua away from him again.

A relatively soft bed after an exhausting day should lure Clive to sleep. But he stirs under the blanket. He thinks of Joshua.

A cool, quiet night should calm his mind. But beneath his closed eyelids he sees Joshua.

His brother is resting in the Hideaway’s infirmary, within close proximity, yet it feels like miles away from Clive.

The thin blanket is off him in seconds as he sits up in bed. He runs a hand through his hair with a tired sigh. Sleeping is a privilege and here he is, in the dead of the night in a home away from home, with an urge to bring Joshua to his chambers and…

And do what exactly?

Hold him in the safety of his own arms and check for any more injuries? Kiss his wounds that would inevitably heal by the Phoenix’s powers? Apologize for the infamous event at Phoenix Gate? More than anything, he wants to know if it is possible to mend the love they once shared, or has fate rendered it too broken to start again?

Whatever it may be, Clive simply cannot sit and wait; he needs to see Joshua now if he is to gain any sort of peace to his frantic mind. He summons a will-o’-the wisp and quietly makes his way to the infirmary.

Soon he finds himself standing in front of the door that separates him from Joshua. As strategic as he is, he doesn’t have much of a plan other than to remain by his brother’s side throughout the night. There should be a chair inside which will act as his makeshift bed. It is far from comfortable, but he’s slept in worse.

“I see sleep did not find you so easily either.”

Clive turns around to the voice. He is greeted with a small smile accompanied by a little ball of fire following its creator just above the steps.

“Joshua, what are you doing up? You should be resting.”

“I was looking for my dear brother and I may or may not have gotten lost in my search. Have you seen him?” Joshua asks with a sly voice. “Big, rugged old man with a sword? He has quite a scary face as well.”

Clive, playing along, shakes his head. “What a coincidence, I was searching for my brother too.” He takes slow steps up the stairs to meet Joshua. “He’s a witty little thing with a strong hatred for carrots. Don’t trust his smile though, he’s very mischievous.”

They meet this time with Clive standing directly in front of Joshua, their bodies and faces close to one another. Close to feel the heat and simultaneously not close enough to breathe it in.

It takes much, much willpower for Clive not to connect their lips, especially with such little distance between them. Joshua doesn’t shy away from him, and Clive takes it as encouragement to lean forward ever so slightly.

“Have you seen him?” Clive’s tone is deep and sultry as he teases him. It’s one of the things he will never tire from. It used to make Joshua blush a pretty red and have him stuttering on his words.

Times have changed. Joshua, now older and braver, brings his mouth close to Clive’s ear to whisper, “Perhaps. If you would do me the honor of personally giving a tour of this place, I might reward you with a proper answer.” The tension only intensifies as he steps back, waiting for a reply with a quirked eyebrow.

A soft laugh escapes from Clive. His brother may no longer be the bashful boy he once knew. “Of course, right this way.”

There is no awkwardness amongst them, something they both are grateful for. It’s as if they were never separated in the first place, like the many years of isolation never existed. As if everything was normal.

Their tour is quick and simple. Clive shows Joshua as much as he can of the Hideaway, which isn’t much unless they want to disturb its sleeping residents. There isn’t much to look at either, but Joshua is impressed nonetheless and he praises Clive for all that he has done for the people here.

“They deserve much more than this,” says Clive. The old wood of the docks creak loudly beneath his feet. His eyes are casted downwards to the neglected and broken planks that need replacing. He takes a mental note to talk to someone about that.

“Don’t say that. You–” A sudden coughing fit interrupts Joshua. He places a hand over his chest, over his debilitating secret, in a futile attempt to appease the culprit. Beneath his ribs he feels something horrible forcing its way out. Before long he is hunched over coughing up blood and the pain returns.

Clive’s worry is immediate. “Joshua? We should get you back to bed. Maybe Tarja can–”

“Pay it no mind,” he replies with a dismissive wave of his hand before coughing again. Nowadays the sight and smell of his blood is common. He doesn’t even feel the dread of it, having grown accustomed to the suffocation. “Just give me a moment.”

As the seconds pass, Joshua’s lungs start to relax. His arms are propped on his bent knees to keep him steady while he takes deep breaths. He watches as the red drips from his mouth, the wood becoming tarnished with more drops of his blood.

“Sorry,” Joshua mumbles with a pained breath.

“Don’t apologize.”

One of Clive’s hands reaches to touch Joshua’s clothed back while the other goes to his chest, right above the seal. It is there that Clive feels something powerful and sinister beneath his palm. Something plagues his brother. His precious brother. It is the same spot where Ifrit pierced its hand through the Phoenix. Had that left a wound so terrible? Metia must bear Clive’s prayer yet again.

Instant relief surrounds Joshua once Clive’s hand touches his chest. The pain alleviates and he can finally breathe. It’s as if his suffering vanished and left an unfamiliar sense of peace in his bones. For once he doesn’t feel the tightness, the dull constriction in his heart. It has never felt like this before, so liberating, so tranquil.

With unexpected strength Joshua stands fully to look directly at Clive. “I’m fine, thank you.” There is no strain in his voice, no sign of fatigue, but Clive doesn’t move nor does he look convinced. “Truly, I am. I’ve never felt better.” And it’s the truth.

The apprehension remains apparent on Clive’s face despite removing his hands and giving Joshua a short nod.

In the brief silence Clive finds the sky taking his attention. Maybe he has failed his brother once more. Metia lurks in the corner of his eye, but it is the darkness of the night that he gazes at. To what god must he beg for help from now?

***

“Joshua, it’s late. What are you doing out here?”

“Praying Metia will deliver my message.”

And when the young Clive asked what for…

“For your safe return, of course!”

And when the young and inexperienced Clive said his mission in the outskirts of Rosaria would only be a few days…

“I know that. But I wish I could go with you. I could protect you from those creepy goblins.”

Clive laughed and replied, “It’s my job to protect you.”

But then Clive was just a boy. A boy who fought his way up the ranks to officially earn the title of First Shield. A boy who believed that Joshua deserved nothing but the best.

 ***

In the brief silence Joshua finds the dark waters taking his attention. A lake so calm, so still, and so unlike his thoughts. There are too many topics to discuss, but which one is more important? Where should he start when there are many beginnings that lead to the same end? When he looks to Clive’s pensive face the first thing he wants is to ease his suffering, that he is sure of. Somehow, in some way.

Their will-o’-the-wisps float beside them without a care in the world. Fire that lacks destructiveness birthed from men who only know devastation.

But it takes Joshua to a time where he first conjured the flaming ball, a time in his life he wishes he could go back to. He remembers being incredibly fascinated by such a small feat. He remembers teaching Clive the same trick and the fulfillment he felt that he was the teacher for once and not the other way around. Or the pride that distracted him for days after Clive told him how much of a great mentor he was. To a young Joshua, all he wanted was to impress and make his older brother proud.

What he did not remember, however, was how full and bright Clive’s flame was. It’s definitely larger, bigger than his own, and it sure feels hotter.    

“It would seem you’ve mastered the trick” – he nods to the hovering flame when Clive looks to him – “and put me to shame.”

Clive’s expression relaxes. “I had a great mentor. He was wonderful,” he whispers softly. A hand reaches up to Joshua’s hair, sinking his fingers into the soft locks. “And he’s everything I could have ever wished for.”

Another cough nearly breaks out from Joshua. Not from the pain, from the embarrassment. Joshua’s heart beats rapidly and his body temperature has probably elevated to new heights. Clive looks at him so intently, with such admiration it almost makes him nervous. The simple touch is enough to make his knees weak. The words Clive gives so openly has him scrambling for his own to respond with. Joshua is something akin to a naïve boy again discovering love for the first time.

Joshua takes a moment to close his eyes and reminisce all the times they were in this exact position. Though long ago, the memories are fresh. From dubious glances and shy smiles they started out hesitant, fear of crossing a boundary that could ruin everything, but Clive, even then, was a brave soul and crossed the line with Joshua soon following. From then on the same arrangement led to gentle kisses becoming rougher as time continued.

Coming back to the present from the beautiful memories, Joshua opens his eyes, and Clive is staring back, waiting and wanting. Just like in the past.

Joshua, forgetting about his blood-stained mouth, leans forward. “I’ve missed you dearly, Clive.” But when he hears Clive call his name, worried and tense and possibly regretful, he swiftly pulls away. “I’m sorry. I assumed and, and I-I’m sorry.” He takes a few steps back to add distance from the rejection.

“No, it’s not your fault.” Clive reaches to grab Joshua’s arm, but stops at the saddened look he receives.

Clive wants nothing more than to have Joshua in every way possible, but his brother’s safety has always been a priority. Joshua should be recovering, not indulging his desires. A more scared and broken part of him fears he will lose control and harm Joshua…again. If he must restrain his love, to never touch him again in return of his brother’s wellbeing, it is a sacrifice Clive is willing to make no matter how much it will hurt him. He opens his mouth to say just that, but Joshua speaks first with words sharp enough to cut him.

“Is there another who claims your heart?” A knife finds its way to Joshua’s own heart, obvious in his voice.

“No–”

“Does our love weigh heavily on your soul then? I cannot blame you for deeming it immoral, if you find what we had to be a mistake. I…I understand.” The knife twists and sinks deeper into his flesh.

Clive steps forward and grabs Joshua’s face at once, cradling his cheeks with a kind hold. “Loving you has never been a sin.” He has never spoken so resolutely before now with the intent to cast away any lingering doubts. “It’s your safety I’m worried about.”

Joshua huffs dramatically. “You always worry. I am fine, truly. I only want to be with you. I only want you.”

The truth that spills forth slams into Clive, nearly awakening something primal and dangerous within, begging to be released from its prison. He manages to control it, barely, breathing heavily to compensate.

Wandering eyes land on Joshua’s lips. Bloody and pretty. Clive wants to know how it tastes, wants to have it mingle with his own tainted blood. An impure thought that doesn’t stop his mind from racing. He wants to corrupt Joshua in a way that even his blood, his source of life, is marked by Clive. He wants to flow through his veins, reach all the places in his body that no one else could, be with Joshua forever. He wants and wants and wants.

Bloody and pretty lips. Realization dawns on Clive. The last time he kissed Joshua was the night tragedy struck. Little Joshua who put on a brave face when he had every right to be scared. It was before Clive sent him away with their father, believing it to be the safest option. Little Joshua whose voice trembled at the thought of being separated from the person he trusted most. Clive hated the sight of his brother’s teary eyes, so he bent down on one knee to share a fleeting kiss and whispered promises he couldn’t keep. Unbeknownst to them both, it was to be a bitter farewell.

It is a memory Clive is desperate to replace with better ones. Joshua shouldn’t have to remember their last kiss being so miserable. No, he deserved much better.

“My love for you has never wavered. You have always been the one I’ve longed for, Clive.”

That’s all it takes for Clive to lose inhibition and finally bring their mouths together. Joshua’s lips are soft and everything Clive remembers. He feels a smile against him, triggering a smile of his own and they stop to breathe. But Clive wants and wants and wants.

Clive hastily brings Joshua back in with a hand on the back of his neck and the other on his hip. He licks the blood off his lips, swallowing the metallic taste that fills his mouth. But this is Joshua’s blood, and nothing tastes more divine.

Joshua is practically a feast made for Clive to devour. He willingly bares his body for his brother’s use, impossible not to when being pried apart with every bite is intoxicating as it is. Joshua feels Clive’s tongue against his and the unyielding hold on his body that pulls them closer together, as if being chest-to-chest wasn’t close enough. He tries to match Clive’s pace and aggressiveness, though he can’t keep up.

It is overwhelming and Joshua needs to breathe. But with burning lungs all he does is wrap his arms around Clive’s neck. He never knew suffocation to feel this pleasurable. Maybe he will drown in Clive’s fervor and sink endlessly in waters not even Leviathan could tame.

But Joshua really needs to breathe and eventually pushes Clive off him. “You beast,” he gasps out.

They are identical reflections of one another. Two monsters out of breath and panting with blood coating their lips, both succumbing to the love they possess. With every exhale from Clive, is an inhale from Joshua. They must be the perfect match for only they would breathe in each other’s air so intimately like this; so innate to give each other life. It is perfection.

“It is not the dying world but a kiss that would be your downfall?” And Clive has the audacity to look smug.

That earns a lighthearted scoff. “You’ve always had more stamina, even as children.”

“On another day I will show you the full extent of my…stamina.”

“And why not now?”

“Joshua–”

“Clive. Now that we are reunited, I cannot sleep. I cannot rest. Do you realize how much I’ve missed you? Do you know how many days, how many nights I’ve spent thinking of you? I don’t– I can’t be separated from you any longer. I–”

“Hey,” Clive interrupts, taking Joshua’s stiff hands into his own to calm him down. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The anxious thoughts die in Joshua’s throat. “I need you. Would you deny me?” He feels Clive grip his hands tighter once the question becomes known.

“Never.” Clive wonders who could resist someone as alluring as his brother. He finds that he doesn’t want to know. “I know a place on the edges of Rosaria, empty and isolated.”

“Great,” Joshua beams with a bright smile, “shall we go then?” He asks, but he is already dragging Clive to the nearby boat.

Not that Clive resists anyway. Them leaving without a trace, without notice, at midnight no less surely wouldn’t cause anyone worry. Clive cannot help but mention, “You’ll never hear the end of it from Tarja.”

“We will never hear the end of it.”

“We are both without armor and weapons.”

“Are we not the Phoenix and Ifrit? Have I not blessed you with my powers?”

They share a quiet laugh. For a while the approaching calamity is forgotten. The Blight, their enemies, Ultima, all are left behind in their world.

“Do not worry, dear brother, I’ll protect you from whatever creature lurks in the night.” Joshua, with a playful grin, offers his brother an oar.

Clive takes it and lightly nudges Joshua with the end of it.

“It’s my job to protect you.”

But now Clive is just a man. A man who fought the world for his brother. A man who will unmake the cruelty of their universe for Joshua deserved nothing but the best.

Crossing the dead, cold waters in the dark normally wouldn’t be romantic. It shouldn’t be, but they look at each other with soft eyes and speak with gentle words, fond smiles adorning their faces.

Sailing the waters takes quite a while and the time is spent sharing stories. Apparently Joshua has heard much, if not everything, about Clive’s life while separated. Joshua insists on hearing the tales from the man himself anyway. Soon enough their conversation becomes sensitive and delicate, the oars resting on the boat forgotten as they drift through the waters.

“I swore to avenge you, no matter the cost, even if that meant destroying everything in my path.” Slowly does Clive reveal his past, hesitant that Joshua might find him repulsive for his actions.

“So I’ve heard.”

Joshua does not sound judgmental in the slightest. It comforts Clive to reveal his life of vengeance and all its hideous details without scrutiny.

“I’ve done many horrible things, Joshua. I’ve killed more men than I can count.”

“For me?”

Clive nods his head in answer. “I never stopped thinking of you. You were the only thing that got me through the brutal days and hellish nights. And when I realized it was me who was responsible for what happened, I couldn’t bear it. To think that I could do such a thing to you, that I was capable of that. How can you look at me? How–”

“None of that now.” Joshua confidently takes Clive’s hands to hold. It’s kind, but not forgiving, for there is nothing to forgive. “I never blamed you, and you shouldn’t either. I’m here now, so are you. That is all that matters.”

The smoothness in Joshua’s voice could calm even the angriest of storms. The sheer tenderness of it washes away Clive’s long-lived guilt.

“Still yet, I am far from a benevolent man. I… I don’t feel much regret for the things I’ve done,” Clive confesses. It amazes him that Joshua hasn’t reprimanded him yet, but gives him a tiny smile instead.

“Oh, Clive. Words can’t describe how touched I am to know your devotion runs deeps, to hear how much you cared.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course I care, you’re my brother.”

“Clive, I am not innocent either.” Joshua’s eyes fall down to their held hands for a moment before reluctantly letting go. With one hand placed over his chest, he admits his secret. “The things I’ve done to protect you, well, now that is a story for the ages.”

The more Joshua recounts about Ultima, the more Clive becomes enraged. Everything terrible that has happened to them was because of that being pretending to be God.

Clive is silent when Joshua, unashamed, pulls down the fabric of his shirt to reveal the seal plaguing his body. And Clive wants nothing more than to kill it with his bare hands and watch Ultima suffer for eons.

It looks horrid and monstrous how the black edges mix with purple against Joshua’s pale skin like a bruise.

“It’s sealed away…in your very heart?” It pains Clive to know his brother would sacrifice himself like this; it was never supposed to come to this. “Why would you do that?”

“I’d do anything for you, Clive. Anything to keep you safe.”

“Not like this.” Clive gently runs his hands down Joshua’s chest, avoiding the lesion. “Not like this,” he repeats again, brokenly.

Joshua rests his forehead against his brother’s. “You must think me to be an ugly sight now.” It’s lighthearted and meant to be a joke. 

But Clive ignores his playfulness. “No, never. It’s just…”

“Don’t think of it as a misfortune,” he says peacefully as he brings Clive’s hands to touch the web-like edges of the seal. “Think of it as an act of love, my love to you.”

Once again Joshua finds himself breathing easily; he wonders if Ultima is so disgusted by their unbreakable bond that it rather disappear than to stay and suffocate him longer. His heart quickens when Clive traces the dark markings, his touch more confident and deliberate. And it’s as if Ultima never tormented his body when Clive kisses his lips with acceptance. And it’s as if Ultima ceased to exist when Clive’s lips meet his shoulder to leave a trail of kisses up towards his jaw.

“Always a troublemaker. What am I going to do with you?” Clive whispers against Joshua’s skin.

“Anything you want.”

Soft kisses become more desperate as the seconds pass. Joshua sits on Clive’s lap, holding on to broad shoulders as Clive licks and bites whatever skin he can reach. To be cherished like this, Joshua never felt more of an archduke than now, especially upon his very own throne that is his brother. Clive licks his ear, a particularly sensitive spot, causing him to tighten his grip. He lets out a whimper when Clive bites down hard on his earlobe.

“Grew tired of wearing your ear cuff, Joshua?”

The deep rumble of his voice sends a shiver down Joshua’s spine. It leaves him too distracted to give an actual answer other than a quiet moan.

Clive laughs and bites again. “I asked you a question.”

“Must we ruin the moment?” Joshua asks with a sigh. He hears a low hum in response and feels the steady breaths against his skin, waiting. So he does the same and buries his face into Clive’s neck. A tinge of regret surrounds his voice. “It was stolen from me.”

“How did that happen?”

“I was held captive against my will in Caer Norvent,” Joshua mutters. It is a secret he shares with barely concealed humiliation.

“The fortress in Sanbreque? Held captive by whom?”

“Garuda’s Dominant, Benedikta Harman. Apparently she was collecting more of ‘our kind’. She offered me a place in Barnabas’ kingdom, and when I refused” – he hides his face further in Clive’s neck – “she stole my ring in an attempt to persuade me.”

Burning anger trickles into Clive’s being. But it is concern that overtakes him and it is comfort he wants to provide. “It wasn’t your fault, it was out of your control.”

“My point exactly, Clive.” Though he remains calm and collected, it is an obvious sore spot for him. “She had me restrained in those damned crystal fetters. I could not call upon the Phoenix’s strength, I was a Dominant no more. I was powerless. I was weak.” I felt like a fragile child again, is the thought Joshua keeps to himself as he clutches to his brother.

“A horrible feeling, I know, but you are anything but weak. Far from it.” A statement said so purposefully it must be true.

A bout of silence overcomes them. Clive holds Joshua closely in his arms, a welcomed shield during the vulnerability.

“She mocked me, Clive,” Joshua whispers after some time. “She’d tell me how precious such an accessory was, especially given its owner, and how it would sell for a pretty Gil. I’ve tried to get it back and I’ve failed. I’m sorry.”

Clive nuzzles his face in Joshua’s hair affectionately. “There is nothing for you to apologize for.” And when he feels Joshua relax, so does he, if slightly.

Those ear cuffs are indeed precious. Gifted to only them at a young age, it meant more than a mere symbol of royalty. No, it was a deep bond and one of the many reasons why Clive never removed his own. Joshua would often joke how it was a symbol of their fated marriage. And to have that stripped from him…

And to be a prisoner and shackled, to harm Joshua in any way possible is to start a war with Clive. It was not Clive’s true intention to kill Benedikta; there was just much chaos and limited time and little control, and he felt pity for her death once he came to. Now though, a dark thought tells him she deserved worse.

Clive does not have long to linger on the cruelness of his feelings as Joshua pulls away to gaze down on him with a friendly look.

“I did manage to escape thanks to a certain pair of rogues. You and Cid caused quite the commotion.”

“That we did.” Clive returns the smile he receives. “So you were there after all. I was looking for you.”

“Hmm, if only we could have reunited while I was bound by the wrists. I would not have minded being at your mercy.”

“Careful, Joshua.” His hands roam down from Joshua’s hips to his thighs, slowly and sensually, taking its time to caress before gently squeezing. “If you wish to be tied up, know that I will do so, but you won’t be freed until I have you begging and crying out my name.”

“Founder. I have never dreamed of getting intimate on a boat, but there is a first for everything I suppose.”

Clive laughs as Joshua kisses his neck and starts rocking his body against his. He pulls his brother’s hands away to replace them with an oar. “Ever heard of patience?”

“Never. Who is that? Another one of those stingy nobles we had to please?”

Another laugh escapes. Clive slides Joshua off his lap, and the pout he receives is utterly adorable in his eyes.

“Get to rowing, would you?”

They reach land soon enough. If Joshua started rowing faster, no one dared mentioned it. If Clive practically dragged Joshua with such haste through the night once their feet touched grass, not a word of it is spoken.

“It’s quite dark, are you sure you know where you’re going?”

“Positive. Don’t you recognize where we are?”

Joshua clears his throat. “Ah, it has been far too long since I’ve stepped foot in Rosaria sadly.”

“Up ahead is the field we’d often escape to whenever you grew tired of the functions Mother held.”

Looking ahead through the darkness, Joshua’s eyes land on a small field of flowers illuminated by the bright moon above. His movements come to a stop as memories upon memories flood through his mind. Fondness surrounds his being to the point of overwhelming his senses.

“They were dreadfully long. I don’t recall you enjoying them either,” Joshua says with a faint laugh, almost bittersweet. “I told the guards every time that we would be back before Mother would notice and that we would be safe, that I would be safe because you were there with me.”

“You’d also bribe them with sweets and tell them tales of all the monsters I’ve slain.”

“Of course. The people needed to know who Clive Rosfield really was. The way you would wield a sword would put even the most experienced soldier to shame. The way you walked into battle as if you alone were the entire army itself. Or–“

“You embarrass me now just as much as you did then.” Clive shortly finds himself standing beside Joshua, gazing at the field hand in hand, delving in the memories together.

***

At that point, Clive knew Joshua sought escape. Escape from uptight nobles, from his title, from the world. Their parents grew accustomed to their disappearance at most if not all social occasions. And where would they go if not the fields, somewhere only they knew.

“One day, I’ll become the Phoenix and fly away from home.”

“I would chase after you.”

“Really?”

“I would. And if your wings grew tired and you fell from the sky, I would be there to catch you.”

“Prove it. Catch me now.”

Joshua ran through the field, giggling and happy for the first time that day. Clive ran after him until he captured his elusive brother in his arms. They softly fell to the ground and stayed there for what felt like a delightful eternity. Obscured by towering flowers, Clive practically cradled the boy to his chest while Joshua found peace in his brother’s heartbeat.

“Clive, what if I flew to the stars? To Metia?” A gentle whisper.

“I would chase you.” A definite answer.

“Forever?” Slight hesitation from a boy who never knew true, unconditional devotion.

“Forever.” An unbroken promise from a boy whose love would never fade.

 ***

The flowers continue to sway with the wind, unbothered by time.

Finally does Joshua break free from his trance to face Clive. “I never forgot a single detail of our time together, Brother. When I felt frustrated, alone… you were always there. And I have never felt more loved. Thank you, truly.” He finishes his sentiment with a kiss warm enough to rival the sun.

They eventually part to rest their foreheads against one another, content to just exist in each other’s presence.

That is, until Clive murmurs, “Do you remember our first kiss? It was on this very field.”

“How could I forget?”

“Do you remember when I first gave you a mark right here?” Clive asks with a heated kiss placed on Joshua’s neck directly beneath his jaw.

“Yes, you were worried people would see. Not a soul noticed though I wished they had.” A sigh escapes from Joshua as he feels a tender bite to his skin. “I was desperate for more.” The dull vibration from Clive’s responding grunt against his pulse fuels his growing desire.

“You were. So eager for me that you would do anything. The things we did away from home, the things I wanted. I have dreamed of taking you right here on the ground.”

“Clive…”

“Hidden by the flowers as I show you pleasures you’d never know before.”

“Then have me now. I doubt I can take much longer of your teasing. I need you, Clive.” Joshua’s plea is only met with a low laugh.

“Another time. You deserve a proper bed.”

So Joshua responds with a loud and defeated exhale. “How chivalrous. Let’s go before I lose my sanity.”

Clive joins their hands together and guides his brother through the dark. They aren’t far from their destination, but Clive might very well perish if he does not have Joshua soon.

The quaint place is somewhat run-down, only decorated with the basic necessities that don’t appear to have been used in quite some time. It is more of an abandoned storage house with the amount of dust collected on the shelves and the broken wood that threatens to split from every step taken.

But it is isolated and quiet, and Clive and Joshua do not care anyway, too caught up in each other’s fervent touches and intense kisses the moment they set foot inside and shut the door. It doesn’t take long before they make their way towards the fragile bed, all inhibition gone.

With deft fingers Clive quickly sheds their clothes; he craves to feel Joshua’s bare skin again. His mouth latches onto Joshua’s shoulder, trailing kisses up his neck until he reaches to capture his mouth. Clive already has his hands roaming everywhere he can possibly touch. Between soft gasps, he hears Joshua whisper something.

“What was that?”

“Oil. I said oil. I brought a vial with me.”

Clive’s hands rest upon his brother’s tiny waist, satisfied for now. “You did? You were expecting this weren’t you?” Reluctantly, he moves to the discarded clothes on the floor in search of it. “You devious little thing.”

Joshua doesn’t say a word; in fact, he stops breathing all together, suddenly entranced by Clive’s body. His eyes wander across Clive’s broad shoulders to the well-defined muscles in his back and arms. A strong body like that could lift him easily. Hells, Clive could pin him down to the bed with one arm only. That thought alone starts a flush in Joshua’s cheeks.

He drinks in the sight, takes in all the scars adorning Clive’s body. “Beautiful,” Joshua whispers.

Clive hears the compliment, but does not respond. Instead, he sits on the bed next to Joshua, vial of oil in hand, and leans in for a soft kiss. “Imperfect when I have you.” He says it in a way that doesn’t bring himself down, more to praise his brother, and Joshua hears it.

Their mouths find each other again, wet and messy but wonderful. Joshua’s hands slide down Clive’s chest until he reaches his cock, already eager and hard. He gently takes hold of it and gives him slow strokes. Clive grunts into his mouth and attempts to push Joshua down on the bed.

“Wait,” breathes out Joshua. “There’s something I’ve wanted to do.” With that, Joshua gets off the bed to kneel down on the floor. He parts Clive’s legs and looks up pleadingly. “May I?”

Clive nearly combusts from the instant and flooding arousal. He gulps and takes labored breaths to calm himself down. Absolutely futile that is. All he can do is nod as his voice seems lost to the void.

Now that Clive’s cock is directly in front of him, Joshua clearly sees how big he is. Massive would be over-exaggerating to most, but it rings true in this instance. And Joshua cannot wait for the pleasurable pain he will feel, if he can convince Clive to be rough that is.

Joshua takes his time, giving long licks up the underside of Clive’s dick, but his hunger overrides and he has the tip between his lips before he can continue his teasing. He sucks and licks like he would on a sweet, pride swelling from hearing Clive’s uneven breaths. He wants to take all of Clive into his mouth, but it seems almost daunting. Joshua has never been one to back away from a challenge though.

With closed eyes, Joshua slides his mouth down at an agonizingly slow pace, if only to give himself time to suppress his urge to gag the further Clive’s cock reaches in. Tears start prickling the corners of his eyes and he stops halfway. Breathe; he has to remember to breathe.

“Fuck, Joshua.”

It’s all the encouragement he needs. Joshua steels himself, breathes through his nose, and takes the rest of Clive into his mouth until he feels it in the back of his throat.

“Fuck, fuck.”

Joshua stays in that position for a moment, not moving in the slightest but savoring every second. Clive is heavy and burning on his tongue, he feels it pulsing. When he opens his eyes and looks up, he is met with Clive’s already debauched face.

A tear slides down his cheek when Joshua blinks, and immediately Clive is there to wipe it away with his thumb.

“Go on, Joshua, we go at your pace. Take everything I have to offer.”

The deepness of his voice sends another wave of arousal through Joshua. And he will definitely take everything Clive has to give.

Slowly, as if testing the waters, Joshua begins to move, his head moving and mouth sliding along Clive’s cock. He pulls back until only the tip rests between his lips before bringing the whole length back into his mouth. For a while Joshua continues at this pace, leisurely tasting Clive like the minutes stopped ticking away and they have all the time in the world. With every strained exhale and groan coming from his brother, Joshua truly believes he could suck cock until the world crumbles into nothingness.

The tension in Clive’s thighs is obvious, strained from suppressing the urge to thrust wildly into Joshua’s wet mouth. Joshua notices, and is generous enough to speed up his ministrations, now with ease.

Clive leans back, fingers clutching the bedsheets, and watches with complete captivation. Joshua looks amazing on his knees, pretty lips wrapped around his dick, so eager to please like a servant would for a king. As a solider, Clive was made to be strong and withstand all forms of sensation, but the mouth around his cock is sinful and its owner destroys Clive’s resolve with a single touch.

Joshua focuses entirely on his brother’s pleasure, bobbing his head up and down while purposefully ignoring his own aching desire. But having Clive down his throat only adds fuel to the fire. He refuses to touch himself though, no matter how tempting, because he waits for permission from the one person who could command him to do anything.

Everything about this feels remarkably dirty. The obscenity of it all for Joshua to be in this degrading position willingly, waiting for his brother’s release to fill his mouth, is to throw away his status and reputation, not that he truly cared about the regality of his bloodline in the first place. The corruption screams, yet it soothes his heart. Joshua has always known he would forfeit all his titles, all his powers, to be with Clive; he would give his soul to be ruined by Clive.

Something sweet or bitter coats Joshua’s tongue. Though only a few drops Joshua moans in delight, the vibrations directly against Clive’s dick forces out a loud groan in response. It is a taste of Joshua’s impending reward, and his mind becomes clouded with thoughts of swallowing all of Clive’s cum.

That is until a rough hand in Joshua’s hair pulls him away from his prize. Now that his mouth is empty, a dull pain sets in Joshua’s jaw. He still has energy to complain though.

“I wasn’t finished,” Joshua whines.

Clive swiftly grabs him and maneuvers both of them onto the bed till Clive looms over him with hands placed on either side of Joshua’s face. “You want it that badly, Your Grace?” Playful words, but Clive’s tone is anything but. “You’ll have it after I fuck you thoroughly, as you deserve.”

Joshua opens his mouth to retort, but is interrupted when Clive grinds their hard cocks together. All that comes out are broken moans and gasps as they rut against each other. Clive kisses everywhere he can, Joshua’s lips, his jaw, his neck, his chest, everywhere. For Clive is a starved man, beyond hungry for a sliver of his brother’s essence in whatever form it may be, be it physical or not.

The mood shifts slightly to a somber one when Clive takes Joshua’s hand into his own. “I yearned for you,” he quietly admits, followed by a surprisingly gentle kiss to Joshua’s wrist. Something awful creeps into Clive’s thoughts then, cold and cruel. Perhaps he was never fortunate enough to have Joshua again; cursed they would call him. “I’ve longed for just the barest whisper of you.” The pulse beating against his lips feeds his delirium.

The fragility carries heavily in his voice; Clive is scared.

“Back to me, Clive.” Joshua brings their mouths together with much force for emphasis. “It’s all real. You have me now and each day thereafter.”

Just like that, the unwelcomed feeling fades. It lingers, but every kiss and bite to Joshua’s skin is proof of reality and it chases the thought of illusion away.

“You’re right, and I am never letting you out of my sight again.”

There is a sense of darkness mixed with lust in Clive’s words that has Joshua grinding their cocks together again. Joshua adores this side of his brother, loves when Clive indulges his selfish wants.

Clive lets out a grunt and presses down harder, enjoying the wetness he feels from both of their leaking dicks. His mouth connects with a patch of skin beneath Joshua’s jaw, licking and sucking eagerly.

“You are mine to keep, isn’t that right, Joshua?”

“It is your birthright.”

Clive bites down, nearly sharp enough to break skin. A sort of wickedness descends upon them both, a primal and perverted need stirred by their hunger.

“Mine to hold, mine to protect. Nobody may have you.” Clive’s eyes and fingers travel down Joshua’s face, along his chest until it reaches the seal. “Not even this,” he vows adamantly.

The barely hidden anger along with Clive’s resonant voice does wonders to Joshua’s psyche. He wants nothing more than to submit, even more so now that Joshua does not feel Ultima’s infliction. The seal that glowed a purple hue is dull and lifeless, as if Ultima was so afraid or repulsed that it rather die.

“Ultima may personally see for itself the consequences of incurring your ire. Come, Brother, let us give it a show worth remembering.”

Clive readily agrees. Without so much as a warning, he takes one of Joshua’s nipples into his mouth, greedily sucking. The moan he prompts out of Joshua when he gives a light bite is music to his ears. Being so close to the lesion on his chest, Clive expected to feel Ultima’s presence, but he doesn’t. Good. Though, being in close proximity to that thing ignites a dangerous urge to kill, and Clive lets out a low growl.

And hearing that awakens a different being within Joshua. It feels like a responding silent cry to his call. Whatever came from his brother’s mouth was not completely all Clive. No, it sounded somewhat monstrous. Familiar. Warm. Welcoming.

Joshua understands.

“You feel it too, do you not?” Joshua asks between gasps. “I do as well.”

Times like this are when Clive usually tries to quell Ifrit’s presence, yet Joshua practically encourages the beast.

“Embrace it, let go.”

It is a command both follow. Ifrit instantly breaks through the surface and envelops Clive in its fiery embrace, if only partially. Blazing streaks resembling fire mark Clive’s skin and hair; his eyes shine a blue so bright and striking. Joshua bears a similar resemblance, but adorns exceedingly long feathers of the Phoenix from his back. The immense power radiating from them could suffocate any being within distance.

Seeing each other in this form brings comfort and carnal desires from their Eikons. They ache to reunite, to become one again.

Try as he might, Joshua does not have much time to drink in Clive’s ethereal figure, for his brother is becoming increasingly impatient. Clive kisses down his body, takes his time to nip at his hips before reaching his thighs where he decides to lavish with attention. A harsh exhale is heard as Clive mouths closer and closer to his cock.

Maybe it is the aether he called forth or maybe it’s the attention Clive showers him with that makes him drunk on power, but a slight haze surrounds Joshua’s head with controlling thoughts, thoughts loud enough that he voices them without concern. “Only I can have you, no one else. All will suffer should they tear you away from me.” It is a promise and a warning.

Clive bites down in response. “Careful, Joshua. Words like that will have me believe I’m special.” He places an apologetic kiss to the teeth marks he left behind.

“I speak true. Now, fuck me until I am pleasantly sore. I want to feel you well into the next few days” – Joshua lifts Clive’s chin up so their eyes meet in an intense gaze – “Stake your claim. Allow me to wear your marks on my skin. Make me forget the world. Show me who owns my very body and soul.”

Clive represses a snarl and promptly turns Joshua around on to his stomach. It is a risky game to give in to such possessive behaviors. One may call it a vice. They call it rapture.

While Clive reaches for the forgotten vial, Joshua prepares for what is to come and props himself up on his knees, face down on the bed. As Clive coats his fingers in oil, he admires the sight before him, his dear brother waiting patiently with his ass up. Iridescent feathers span from Joshua’s upper back, long and wide. Few of them hangs off the bed, some veil his body, and most teasingly grazes Clive’s skin with a velvety touch.

“Did you forget your keeper? Then I will remind you.” Clive finally inserts a finger, which receives him a muffled groan. “Tell me, have you had anyone to warm your bed while we were apart?”

Joshua gives a weak laugh at the absurdity. They both know the answer.

“Answer me, Joshua.”

Clive’s voice reeks with so much authority that Joshua wants to disobey just to hear more, but he is obedient this time.

“Never, unless my own hand counts. I never even thought of another but you.”

A satisfying answer for his petty jealousy. “Such a good boy.” Clive rewards him with another finger and languidly moves them in and out.

A very satisfying answer indeed as that means no members of the Undying had the pleasure of taking his brother. Joshua lets out a sultry whine as Clive pushes deeper until his fingers disappear. Not even Dion was blessed to hear his brother’s beautiful sounds. He watches Joshua’s hole clench around him, tight and begging to be stretched wide. No, not a soul had the right to have his brother.

“You were mine since the beginning, from the moment I laid eyes on you. I have loved you ever since.”

Clive’s words seem to have a great effect on Joshua; he grows louder and grinds back onto Clive’s fingers, feathers flaring out simultaneously. Clive cannot help but to idly run his fingers through the beaming plumage. Its soft and delicate feel could rival silk. Each feather that passes through his fingers is nothing short of luxurious.

“Ah!”

Clive stops moving upon hearing a pained cry. “Joshua?” he worriedly asks. Looking down, there is a lone feather in his hand, removed from the rest. “Are you okay? Did that hurt?”

It takes a second for Joshua to respond, and when he does his breath is ragged.

“Yes, but in the most pleasurable way. Founder, again, do it again.”

Shock freezes Clive in place. To think Joshua would be so masochistic. Uncertainty washes over him, is he capable of hurting his brother, even in this way? But Joshua again demands it. The concern remains, but Clive tentatively and carefully plucks another feather.

He hears a pleased whimper and feels Joshua’s ass tighten around his fingers. It’s reassuring, but Clive might explode. Just when he thought Joshua couldn’t get any sexier. Clive thrusts his fingers faster, refraining from touching the feathers for now. If his brother relishes in this type of treatment, Clive might have enough to wear a cloak of the Phoenix’s feathers. The mental picture sends more blood to his hard cock. To be covered with such beauty and rarity would be to flaunt his attachment to Joshua. The one feather he has kept close all this time, the one that carried all his hope, would be the only exception; it would not be worn with the others, it would continue to be kept close to his heart.

Joshua never realized how sensitive his own body is. Having a feather removed sent a sharp pain down his spine he wholly enjoyed, arousing him further than he already is. This pain is different from most he felt. It was not suffering, not agonizing, it was euphoria. To have it pulled off his body from Ifrit no less, the Eikon within him preens.

“The Phoenix is happy,” Joshua murmurs between moans. “It wants Ifrit.” It wants to be dominated, wants to feel Ifrit’s bite and long claws. Joshua purposefully does not mention how it may or may not desire Ifrit’s claw in its chest again.

“I feel it too. It’s overwhelming.” Which is an understatement. Ifrit is vicious and greedy. It takes much self-control for Clive not to prime and lose control.

Clive has claimed Joshua many years prior, but...

“For as long as you remain its Dominant,” Clive starts, nails raking down Joshua’s back leaving red welts. “I will claim the Phoenix as well.” He finishes his dark promise with a push of a third finger in his ass and the removal of another feather.

A loud, choked moan breaks free. The bedsheet crumples beneath Joshua’s hands, his vision blurs, his cock twitches painfully, the stimulation throws him ever close to the edge.

Clive could get high off this. For all the diabolical things he’s doing to his brother, the reaction he gets is heavenly. He stretches his fingers as wide as he can, thrusts deep to find the spot that will break Joshua. He finds it when he hears a muffled scream.

“There we go,” is Clive’s soothing voice, a stark contrast to his movements. Leaning over Joshua’s back he whispers into his ear, “You haven’t even touched yourself yet. Waiting for me? Tell me, are you ready for more?”

“I have been waiting for years.”

“Turn around,” he replies with a slow drag of his fingers.

Everything slows as Joshua switches on to his back. Blame it on the lust to dizzy him and the endorphins strong to numb his senses. He settles into a comfortable position, elbows propped up so he can watch the act in front of him. Clive pours a generous amount of oil on his hand then lathers it onto his dick, thick from arousal.

Joshua meets his brother’s stare with half-lidded eyes. A siren could not be more tempting as Joshua spreads his legs open to which Clive fixes him with a predatory look. A breath catches in his throat as Clive brings their bodies closer and traces the outlines of his cock down to his rim. No words are spoken, the air heavy with tensions says enough.

While Clive teases the awaiting heat with the tip of his dick, he briefly wonders if their ancestors anticipated this, if they are nauseated in their graves, or if they are horribly proud. But he has the one person he cherishes most begging to be defiled, so he finds he doesn’t care and he finally pushes his cock in.

Scalding warmth suddenly surrounds him, and he’s not even fully inside, but Joshua is so incredibly tight that it’s too much for his very hard and very sensitive dick. Joshua lets out a harsh gasp and simply stares in complete awe. Though Clive realizes his dear one might enjoy being plunged in, he watches Joshua to gauge his reaction, looking for any signs of discomfort as he slowly pushes the rest of his length in.

“So fucking tight,” Clive mumbles mostly to himself.

Clive needs a moment to collect himself lest he gives in the urge to fuck without abandon and cum in a few seconds. Closing his eyes forces him to focus on the immense pleasure, his eyebrows furrow from the sheer overwhelming feeling, and he hasn’t even moved yet. Joshua clenches his dick to the point of near suffocation, how hot it is inside certainly doesn’t help either. The emotions that thrive between them only intensify the sensation.

To Joshua’s amazement, he is able to take all of Clive. The burning stretch from being pried open is a delicious pain that does not last long.

“Do not dare hold back.”

“Of course not, Your Grace.”

Clive grabs beneath Joshua’s thighs, forces them apart, and holds him there in that position. He gives experimental thrusts, weakly moving his hips. His eyes catch on to where they connect, and it looks just as good as it feels. The way his cock stretches Joshua’s hole with every push in, how it clings to him when he pulls out, and the lovely noises he gets when he does it again and again…

It’s an image Clive will never forget, but he wants more; Ifrit needs more.

He hooks one of Joshua’s legs over his shoulder and brings his body closer at the same time he thrusts in, bottoming out in one swift motion. It nearly rips a scream from Joshua, but he is loud enough to send a twisted thrill through Clive’s body. He needs to hear more.

Spurred by his rapidly growing lust, Clive moves more intently and his thrusts become harder, deeper. It is further encouraged by Joshua’s loud moans. And what a melody Joshua sings when he lies so pliant and alluring, wanton cries spilling from his lips. His grip on Joshua’s leg tightens as he drives his cock in faster. His other hand holds onto Joshua’s waist, steadying the both of them.

If Joshua were any more lucid, he would probably be embarrassed by the noises coming from his own mouth. It’s not something he focuses on, not while Clive fucks him with the intention of breaking him. It’s what he wants anyway knowing Clive would put him back together, like always. The feeling could only be described as burning; Clive’s thick cock fills him up in ways he never experienced, his touches set his skin afire, his words ignite the blood that courses through him.

So, yes, Joshua will moan like a courtesan because like one, he feels pleasure beyond this world. But he feels Clive’s lips on his leg, trailing kisses down his calf to his ankle, and he feels Clive’s thumb rubbing small circles mindlessly and tenderly on his waist. But he sees how earnestly Clive looks at him, sees the fondness beneath the powerful blue eyes and the sinful desire. And that makes him feel like a god. 

“C-Clive, I need you close.”

The muscles bulging in Clive’s arm tense (a sight that has Joshua’s mouth water) and he gently lowers Joshua’s leg from his shoulder. He stops moving to bring himself closer, nearly chest-to-chest with Joshua. Leaning down, Clive connects their lips and picks up where he left off, thrusting impossibly deeper. Joshua whines into the kiss, his hands clutch on to Clive’s back like a lifeline that would surely leave pretty red marks.

Clive releases his lips to bring his teeth down to Joshua’s neck. His movements are relentless, desperately trying to find the one spot that will make Joshua scream.

And scream he does.

“Fuck, Clive! Again, again. Please, again,” he begs without thought.

And who is he to deny Joshua a damn thing?

Clive pounds his hard cock like an animal, the tip grinding into Joshua’s prostate constantly, ripping moan after moan from his brother. Joshua’s voice becomes more breathless and higher in pitch, a telltale sign that he’s getting close.

Suddenly bashful, Joshua covers his mouth with the back of his hand and averts his gaze. It is endearing, but…

A hand grabs Joshua’s jaw in a firm grip. “Look at me,” Clive growls out before prying away the hand Joshua bites on. “Let me hear all of you.”

Joshua listens to his command and peers right into his eyes. Though the more he looks, the more he feels himself drowning. Clive is heated and he is lacking air every time his cock slams into him. Pressure builds in more places than his lungs, and he cannot contain much of the Phoenix’s powers for long. Neither can Clive. They both feel Ifrit surfacing to the top.

Sparks of fire fly off from them and onto their nearby surroundings. Most are too small and delicate to do damage and are quick to die. Except one particularly bright flame catches onto the frayed curtains. It spreads in no time, starting a fire all around them.

The familiar scent of burning wood fills the air, and though subtlety aware, they pay no mind to the destruction surrounding them.

In the corner of his eyes, Joshua vaguely notices the fires creeping towards them. Clive must see it too, but he doesn’t stop. If anything, Clive fucks into him more. The crackling woods become faint, the sounds of skin slapping against skin more deafening in the stillness of night. Ifrit’s fire overlaying Clive’s body and its piercing eyes burn brighter than the blaze they caused.

The ceiling by now has caught on fire, nothing is ever safe from their flames. Let the inferno consume them, Joshua thinks. It would be an honor to burn away with Clive in his arms.

There’s a stutter in Clive’s hips, his thrusts unrefined and chaotic. He is on the peak of orgasm, without a care in the world. Joshua wraps his longs legs around Clive’s waist and as he does, the roof above them falls through. He summons his powers to create a magick barrier around them and watches as the burning pieces of wood plummets and break over the protective ward.

And Clive never stops, pumping his cock against his prostate each time at an unforgiving pace. Joshua grabs Clive’s face in haste and gives a bruising kiss. They nip and tug at each other’s lips, tongues fighting, and violent enough to spill blood. When they part, Joshua’s hand holds Clive’s cheek and he stares into his brother’s eyes, silently asking for permission.

Understanding immediately, Clive braces himself with one arm to the side of Joshua’s face and brings a hand down to Joshua’s leaking dick. He strokes in time with his thrusts, bringing them both closer and closer to the edge.

Loud moaning and grunts turn raspy and broken. Joshua arches his back as the gathering pleasure threatens to spill and his sight becomes hazy. He doesn’t realize how tightly his hole clenches around Clive’s cock, refusing to let go.

It suffocates Clive more than the smoke in the air, it delights his nerves in ways no one else could fulfill. A deep roar vibrates in his chest, Ifrit no doubt. But he cannot blame the Eikon for the impure thoughts he is having right now. He desperately needs to cum in Joshua. It would taint his brother, corrupt and claim him. No longer does he feel the cold burden of guilt, for loving Joshua is absolute perfection.

“Give it to me, Clive. Together,” Joshua breathes out.

It’s an order that breaks them both. Joshua cums with high-pitched shout, spilling all over his chest and stomach. Clive himself lets out an uninhibited moan as he cums deep in Joshua’s ass. He doesn’t stop stroking until he milks Joshua dry and his body spasms on his dick. Only then does he release him and collapse onto Joshua. It has left them gasping for long moments, chest and ribs heaving as they pant for air.

Clive slowly and reluctantly pulls himself out. The rage of the fire is nothing compared to the heat of being inside Joshua. Their lips connect again kindly, soothingly and filled with love. Joshua sighs into his mouth as cum drips from his hole even as he clenches to try keep as much of his cum inside. Clive has given him so much, has greedily filled him to the brink, and it is too much to contain. It’s a sticky mess, but a welcomed one.

One lazy kiss becomes thousands as the flames begin to simmer down. The night calms once again and they return to their normal, human selves. There are no traces of the fire except for the wrath it left behind, and with the smoke cleared Joshua removes the magick barrier. They clean themselves as best as they can when exhaustion slows their every movement and lie in bed, staring at the stars no longer obscured by a roof. For a while they stay in silence, content, satiated for now, in foreign peace. They never knew completion until this night.  

Minutes go by or perhaps hours, the sky is still dark and endless to really know.

“I’m surprised the bed is still intact,” Joshua remarks.

“I’m surprised you’re still intact.”

They share a laugh and the bliss does not wane, but a somewhat melancholic atmosphere sets in. After so many years apart, the moment feels too good to be true. They have missed so many aspects of each other’s lives, so much time they can never get back. It would be a tragedy if not for the lasting sweetness. Now they can only look forward to the time they may inevitably share.

There’s a shift in the bed. Joshua rolls on to his side and brings a hand to Clive’s cheek, turning so they face each other. The blue that glowed so vibrantly in his eyes is gone and all Joshua sees is Clive, the very same one who stood by his side all those years ago. He lightly caresses his scar, the remnants of the brand. For a second, Clive looks fragile and vulnerable.

“I love you,” Joshua whispers. “With all my being and more. I love you dearly and will forever love you in life, in death…and in the end to wherever souls go.” The tremble in his voice can barely be heard.

Their next kiss is too honest, too precious that it hurts. It’s frail beneath the weight of his confession, but it’s the truth.

“Even in oblivion, I know my heart will yearn for yours.”

If Joshua continues speaking Clive will break down into tears, so he does the first thing that comes to mind and kisses him again. Soft lips move in tandem against each other, sensual and slow like a dance. But every dance must come to an end and when it does, Clive does not know what to say. Specifically, he does not know what to say first. He wills his hands to remain steady as he cradles Joshua’s face in his hold.

Why is it so difficult now to speak? Clive has had many years to think, he has thought of all the things he wants to say. How can he convey the amount of love he feels, or how much he appreciates Joshua for simply existing in his world? Thoughts, too many thoughts. And too little time.

What did I do to deserve you?

You saved me at every opportunity even when I didn’t deserve it.

You don’t judge me for my sins, you love me more so for them.

When my world was bleak, you were there, and I found it worth living.

Clive doesn’t know how to express it, but he tries. His eyes become glassy and his voice breaks.

“You are everything to me, Joshua.” Words aren’t enough. They could never be enough, not when Clive feels so much more than what words can carry. “What I feel for you feels too much to bear at times, but I love it. I love you. I treasure every second I have loving you.”

Clive remembers the very moment he met Joshua for the first time. He remembers how small he was. He remembers the moment Joshua grabbed his finger, the first time they connected. He knew then and there what his purpose was. He knew in his young heart they were meant to be.

And that’s the thing now, Clive will have the rest of his life and beyond to love Joshua.

Neither of them really knows when they started kissing again, or when they stopped. It was just natural; it felt right, as if everything was meant to be, as if they were made for one another.

“Shall we return to the Hideaway?”

“Let’s stay here under the stars.” Because Clive wants the heavens to know the precious love he holds within his arms. He wants the stars to envy Joshua’s bright light.

“Wonderful idea.”

“I’m too tired to move anyway.”

Joshua laughs, a beautiful sound, and pecks Clive’s cheek. “Goodnight, Clive.”

“Sleep well, Joshua.”

Before succumbing to sleep Clive gazes up to the sky, a familiar notion he has done countless of times. This time is different, he doesn’t see Metia. For once, he sleeps with Joshua in his arms and his heart is calm. For the first time he knows tranquility.

Sleep finds Joshua easily. He doesn’t wake up randomly in the night coughing and gasping for air. For once, he sleeps with Clive in his arms and he breathes effortlessly. For the first time he knows tranquility.

For they were lost souls, separated though not severed entirely, empty voids missing parts of each other.

For they have felt true completion in their love.

Morning comes too soon, much to Joshua’s displeasure. In the sunlight they clearly see the effects from their lack of control. The house is, well, no longer a house. What remains are some charred wood and a bed. Luckily their clothes survived the night and they wouldn’t return to the Hideaway naked.

Clive is near fully dressed while Joshua barely moves from the warm sheets.

“Must we leave so early, Brother?”

“If we don’t, people will start to worry.”

Joshua whines like a child. “But I am sore.”

“Should I carry you?” Clive asks with an eyebrow raised. He will if he must. And he will without complaints.

“You should. I’m too tired to move anyway.” Despite it, Joshua stands up and grabs his belongings.

Clive shakes his head with a grin on his lips. He takes the time to stare at Joshua’s body, from his disheveled hair down to his toes. Joshua is littered in marks, almost just as much as he is. It is sad that his clothes will hide most of it however. But Clive knows it’s there and knows who gave it, and his pride is satisfied.

When Joshua turns to face him, wearing the brightest smile, Clive feels fondness clutching his heart and his resolve shattering. This is his brother, his stunning and loving brother. His smile resembles all the previous ones from childhood. Joshua was so beautiful then, just as much as he is now.

There are many people who would kill to protect the Phoenix, but Clive would kill without hesitation for Joshua. That is what sets him apart from the rest, an honor he carries alone. And he knows Joshua would do the same for him. The lengths Clive would go for his brother should worry him. How willing Clive is to shed blood just to protect him should scare him.

It should. But they complete each other, two halves reunited at last.

So it should…but it doesn’t.

Instinctively Clive reaches for him and places a full kiss on Joshua’s lips. It’s deep and filled with dangerous want. They break free to rest against each other, panting heavily.

Wordlessly, Joshua grabs his hand and places it over the seal in his chest. Clive knows what lurks within, can feel the small cracks and indents, but he feels nothing but a beating heart. No evil, no higher being of power, no sense of dread. Only Joshua’s blood pumping beneath his fingertips.

They smile again, small and innocent. Clive gives another kiss and another, adoring how his skin is already familiar to the touch. He finds a small, unblemished area beneath Joshua’s jaw and showers it with attention.

Joshua snakes a hand to the back of Clive’s neck to hold him close. An airy moan escapes when he feels a wet tongue licking around his pulse. “We could stay for another quick round.”

“I thought you said you were sore,” Clive mumbles against his neck.

“I can still walk, no? Come, Brother, let’s break the bed this time.”

Arousal crashes into Clive and lust floods him to the core. His teeth sink down into Joshua’s neck to suppress the tremendous urge to do just that and fuck him for hours. A responsible side of him yells that they need to return; if he wants to build a better world for Joshua, it would be wise not to worry and upset their friends and allies.

“Please, Clive? I have always wanted to ride you.”

Fuck. It immediately catches Clive’s interest, and now he imagines Joshua bouncing up and down his cock, face flushed, begging for more…

Clive bites down once more with emphasis, a minor punishment, and sucks a bruise into his skin. “I will fuck you whenever and wherever for days after we get back.” It’s a promise, though a slight pang of regret hits him as he detaches himself from Joshua.

“Horrible. You’re absolutely horrible, you know that?” Joshua’s theatrics gets a chuckle from the both of them. “Off we go I suppose.”

Finally they depart, hand in hand, tired but happy, and leaving a burnt mess behind.

As expected, once they set foot in the Hideaway, Tarja is there waiting and trying her best not to implode. She scolds them both (mostly Clive) and assesses Joshua’s condition. A glare settles on her features upon seeing the multiple bruises decorating Joshua’s skin.

She looks to a proud Joshua. “Seriously?” Then looks to a sheepish Clive. “Seriously?”

No one is brave enough to reply with an excuse.

“You two are the source of all my migraines, but I’m glad you’re both safe. Come now, Joshua. You need rest, surely, and I may have something for those…bruises.”

Tarja drags Joshua away, worry evident while scolding him all the way to the infirmary. Clive follows behind, but stops when he finds Jill standing nearby with her arms crossed, something akin to an angry mother if not for her amused expression.

Jill shakes her head and giggles. “I’m happy for you two.” It’s all she says before walking away.

Of course many people stop Clive for a chat before he can get close to the infirmary. There is much to do and plenty to discuss, stress accompanied by anguish often weighs down on him until the burden seeps into his weary bones, but there is a spring in his step this time.

Clive had barely any hope to cling to. To be constantly haunted by his past of terror and regrets and a future he could only dream of is to drain his soul until an empty husk stands in his place. The despair consumed him endlessly.

Then he was gifted with Joshua, and all the love and light filled his veins, beating his heart he once thought dead.

Clive will destroy the world and rid its flaws for Joshua. He would defend him until his dying breath. Clive will shield and love him for eternity, for that is his purpose; nothing will take Joshua away from him.

A few days later, Clive finds himself sitting at a table in a corner of the Hideaway, absentmindedly watching Joshua fiddle with his newly adorned ear cuff. He did offer to help Joshua with research, which explains the tomes scattered across the table, but Clive hasn’t turned a single page unlike Joshua who is nearly finished.

Shortly after their rendezvous, Clive personally requested their blacksmith for a custom-made ear cuff. Initially he visualized an identical replica to the original, one that bears the Grand Duchy of Rosaria’s famous emblem, the Phoenix. Joshua, however, insisted on a different design, one that was told in secret with the intent of being a surprise for Clive once it was finished.

Surprised could not suitably describe his reaction. Instead of their nation’s emblem, it was Ifrit engraved into the metal. Joshua wore it with obvious pride and readily flaunted it to Clive. It boosted Clive’s ego and stoked an unholy desire to claim. Suffice to say, a bed was broken that night and Joshua decided to actually stay in and rest the following morning.

Such a simple act that holds so much meaning, that being a subtle way to show Joshua’s devotion for Ifrit and its Dominant. And now Joshua wears it every second of the day on his left ear lobe, just like Clive.

Joshua bears his mark and he bears Joshua’s. It is undeniable physical attestation of their love, undeniable physical attestation of possession.

For that reason, Clive is easily distracted whenever Joshua plays with the tiny accessory, which is often. Be it when Joshua is nervous, mischievous, lost in thought, or concentrating like he is now with a hefty book displayed in front of him. It’s very distracting, and exceptionally endearing.

The peace is effectively broken when Gav struts in with a booming voice.

“Fuck, what am I to do?” he cries out in distress. “Oi, Clive, Joshua! Just the men I wanted to see. You gotta help me.”

Gav plops himself down on an empty chair at their table. Joshua stops and closes the book, bringing his attention to their friend.

“Calm down, Gav. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Oh, I’ll tell ya what’s wrong, Clive. Here I am, doing what I do best, scouting the outskirts of Rosaria, and you know what I find?”

“Doom and death?” Joshua asks.

“Worse! My trusty safe house is gone.” Gav regales them with his story, flustered hand movements and all. “I hid some tools there, some information too, but I found nothing. The whole house looked burnt to a crisp.”

“Oh…that does sound quite terrible.”

“Very fucking terrible!”

“Say, Gav,” Clive starts. The awkwardness grows and he has to clear his throat. “Um, how important were these tools and information?”

“Not that important I’ll admit. It’s a shame to lose them though. You reckon it was the Black Shields’ doing?”

“Doubtful.”

“There must have been something remaining,” Clive adds.

Gav pauses to think. “Well now that you mention it, it was odd seeing only the bed there.” Gav stops again to ponder. “And there were plenty of feathers sprawled about…Phoenix feathers.” 

The more Gav thinks, the more he pieces together what happened. Looking between the brothers, he notices how they seem more reserved. Clive stares at him blankly while Joshua averts his gaze and plays with his ear cuff.

It’s very suspicious indeed and… oh. Gav’s eyes widen as realization clears the fog.

“Gav– “

“Nope! Nope, keep it to yourself, Clive.” With that, Gav abruptly stands up and walks away embarrassed. “I’m getting a fucking drink and you’re getting me another safe house.”

After a moment of silence, they break out into laughter. Hearing Joshua enjoying himself is pure happiness. Clive wishes he could see more of this, experience more days where Joshua is unbothered by their duties and laughs freely. One day they will.

Clive, ridiculously happy, leans in to bring their lips together, a kiss that Joshua excitedly returns with earnest. A genuine and innocent grin finds its way to Joshua face, one that doesn’t falter as he collects the tomes and stands up. Clive doesn’t miss how Joshua tucks his hair behind his ear, fully displaying the ring.

“You know, Clive, there are these ancient ruins nearby. I think it needs to be explored, right now in fact.”

“Is that so? You should consider yourself lucky you aren’t confined to the infirmary. Tarja will have your head for this. Jill too for that matter.” But Clive doesn’t stop him, doesn’t hold him back. Instead he stands beside his brother.

Joshua gives an infamous smirk. “I suppose I will just have to sneak out.” And he begins to walk knowing the other will follow.

Clive catches up to him in no time and links their hands together, fingers automatically intertwining.

“I would chase after you.”

Those words have hidden affection so tender and fixed that it spreads a protective warmth. It is those words that have Joshua peering deeply into Clive’s eyes.

“Forever?” Joshua softly asks, yet he knows the answer.

For it is now that he knows without doubt their undying love would never fade.

“Forever.”

For it is an unbroken promise, forevermore.