Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Okay, I know, mom.” Chuuya groans as he runs across the street, after looking both ways for oncoming cars. He has to pee so fucking bad, but he’s still a fifteen minutes walk from home. 

“I just don’t understand why you need to take a break. I thought you guys were doing good?” His mom says on the other side of the phone. 

He seriously is about to piss his pants.

“Mom, listen.” Chuuya sighs as he looks left and spots a little cafe a few buildings down the road. Perfect. “We just needed some space, you know. Marriage is a really big step.” ‘and I don’t think I can marry him.’ He wants to add, but then his mom might have an aneurysm. 

He jogs the last few steps and opens the cafe doors. Finally.

“Why didn’t you tell me this two weeks ago when it happened?! I had to hear from your sister!” Chuuya can hear the waver in her voice, she’s trying to hold back tears. This is why he doesn’t tell his family anything.

His lips form a small line as his eyes scan the room for– there – an employee. “I swear I was going to tell you.” He walks up to the counter, waving the worker over. “But I need to go. I will talk to you later.”

“But baby–” He hits the end call button. 

“Hey,” he says to the barista, who already looks pissed at him for some reason. “Where’s your bathroom?”

The barista– Lucy, the name tag says– looks him up and down with an unimpressed look before speaking, “Bathroom’s only for paying customers.”

Chuuya groans, he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold it. “Please, I really need to go. I can buy something!” He looks for the closest thing near him. “Here!” He holds up a packaged– cookie? Sure. 

Lucy scrunches her nose, then looks over to the paying counter. “You’ll have to wait in line.”

Chuuya’s head whips over to the side to see… fuck that’s a really long line. What’s that twenty (?) people. His bladder is seriously going to explode. 

Dazai has been waiting, maybe... Fifteen minutes in this line for coffee. He is now starting to realize that buying a machine and making his own coffee at home will save him a lot more time, and probably money too.

“Please! Just this once, I really can’t wait that long.” 

Dazai looks over again to the boy who’s been begging the barista for the bathroom key. He really does feel bad. This is a long line and… when you gotta go, you gotta go.

“Wait in line or go somewhere else.” The employee says to the man.

“Damn it! You're going to be the reason I go into kidney failure, you know!” Chuuya says, starting to crush the cookie in his fist. “Holding my piss for this long can’t be good for me!”

The barista just rolls her eyes, and Dazai chuckles under his breath. What an interesting person. Not only is what he says interesting, but his looks are too. Not many people in Japan catch his eye like this boy here. He’s, for one, freakishly short for a guy, and his hair is fiery red under that tacky looking hat. But his eyes are what really steals Dazai's attention. They are a crystal clear blue color, and they look huge. Dazai’s pretty sure he would drown in them if they ever looked right at him. 

“Sir? What can I get for you?”

Dazai turns his attention to the barista in front of him, who has their hand hovering over the tablet ready to take his order. “Oh, well–”

He looks back at the redhead before making a last minute decision to… “Hey, sweetheart,” he yells over and blue eyes meet brown. Jesus fucking Christ, Dazai was right. He might suffocate. 

“Hah?!” Chuuya scowls. Who the hell does this tall, (holy shit! beautiful) smug looking bastard think he’s talking to!?

“Babe. Come order before I keep holding up the line.” Dazai says, hoping the man follows along and doesn’t get offended. “What’s that you like again, just black right?” 

Chuuya blinks, almost forgetting how badly he has to pee before it hits him again. “Yeah, uhm. That’s right.” Chuuya furrows his brows. “How did you know?”

Dazai is holding back his irritated sigh because obviously this boy doesn’t know how to play along. He smiles anyways, “Of course I know, sweetheart. We’ve only been married for three years now!” He turns back to the barista. “One black and one vanilla frap, please."

Chuuya feels stupid because he’s just looking at this man, dumbfounded. 

“And the cookie too.” Dazai says with a wink towards the redhead.

Chuuya looks down at the crushed cookie in his hand. Great.

Dazai pays and asks the barista for the bathroom key while he’s at it.

“Here you are, sweetheart.” Dazai says with a hum as he wiggles the key in front of the redhead. “I’ll wait for our cups while you use the bathroom.”

Chuuya looks at him skeptically before taking the key with a smile. “Oh my god. Thank you so much.” He throws his coat and university bag into the man's arms and basically runs to the bathroom, unlocking it quickly before he pees his pants. 

After he flushes, he calls his sister while washing his hands. “Kouyou, you will not believe what just fucking happened!”

“Chuuya, this better be good because I just hung up on mom for you.” Kouyou says on the other end of the call.

“Oh.” Chuuya blinks at himself in the mirror. “Yeah, why the hell are you telling mom about me and Shirase going on a break?”

“Hm? I don’t know what you are talking about.” Kouyou hums innocently, “What was it you called for?”

Immediately Chuuya’s mind switches back to the more important topic. “Oh fuck, okay so this guy. He is like so hot, first of all–”

“Oooh, I see. Where did you meet this guy ?”

Chuuya moves away from the automatic sink to dry his hands. “At this coffee shop, and I had to pee, like really fucking bad, and–” He pauses, because why is the sink not turning off?

“And?” Kouyou asks on the other end of the phone because now she really wants to see where this is going. “Chuuya?”

Chuuya starts waving his hand in front of the sink, trying to shut the damn thing off. Why isn’t it turning off! “The hell– I’m uh. Where was I?”

“You had to pee?” Kouyou questions as Chuuya starts smacking the shit out of the faucet. 

“Turn off!” He yells as he gives it one last punch and– “ Augh!” 

The whole thing rips off and the water shoots out and sprays his pants making it look like he just wet himself. Then it turns off like it didn’t just ruin his entire mood.

“What just happened?” Kouyou asks, sounding a little concerned.

“Are you good in there?” The man says, muffled behind the bathroom door. Fuck fucking fuck fuck.

Chuuya looks around frantically. “Yes! Uh Yes!”

“Chuuya?” Kouyou says through the phone that’s now forgotten in his hand.

“Oh my fuck.” Damn it. This really is the worst possible scenario. Where could this bad karma have come from? 

“Are you sure you're alright?” Dazai asks as he leans against the bathroom door trying to listen inside. He has one styrofoam coffee cup in each of his hands, plus a cookie. Oh, and the guys jacket and bag. He isn’t exactly sure what to do right now.

“Oh just fucking great!” Chuuya says, locking eyes with a hand dryer. Bingo. “Trust me, this is better than the one time I almost died eating peanut free peanut butter, which was, in fact, not peanut free.”

 Dazai tilts his head, “You’re allergic to peanuts?”

He smashes the button to turn it on and leans his groin up to try and dry his wet pants. “You know. I usually go to the bathroom after class, but my damn mother distracted me today.” He’s hopping up and down trying to get closer to the hot air blowing. Why is this thing so damn high up?! He’s not that short!

Dazai blinks at the door knob. “Uh.” His fingers itching to open it because what is happening right now?  “Yeah, I totally get it, heh. Family, am I right?” Who says that shit? Dazai you’re so stupid. 

Chuuya nods frantically at no one in particular because he’s literally by himself. “Exactly!” His right leg is thrown up against the sink, left hand with the phone in it against the wall to try and brace himself up to the dryer. This isn’t working! “They are insufferable! My family is going to make me rip out my hair one day!” He yells.

“I’m still on the phone, you know.” Kouyou says as she rolls her eyes with a huff. Her fiancee sitting next to her on the couch, scratching her fingers through Kouyou’s scalp to calm her. Her brother would be miserable without her, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Dazai looks to the side, a woman angrily tapping her foot at him because they are holding up the bathroom. He shrugs at her, then looks back at the door knob. “I’m surprised I still have hair left. My dad is the definition of insufferable.” 

Is Dazai airing out his dirty laundry for the whole cafe? Yes. 

Does he know why? No.

Chuuya’s standing in the bathroom, phone sitting on the toilet seat while he holds his pants up to the drier. He’s standing there in his maroon tshirt, awesome hat, and camo underwear (That hugs his ass amazing btw.) This is stupid. 

“You know. I’ll trade you parents for a day.” Chuuya says absentmindedly while he rocks back and forth on his heels. “Oh! The name’s Chuuya, by the way!”

Dazai chuckles as he smiles down at the door knob, just waiting for it to open. “I don’t think you’ll want him.” Then he tilts his head before saying: “The names Osamu.”

“You’re holding up the line!” The woman says as she crosses her arms over her chest. 

Dazai looks over to smile at her awkwardly. “So sorry, ma’am.”

“Well, Osamu. I highly doubt that.” Dazai hears the muffled voice come from the other side of the bathroom door. 

It’s weird hearing his name. He usually makes most people call him Dazai, only few call him Osamu (those limited to his best friend, his dad, and his ex.) So he doesn’t know what made him tell Chuuya his first name. Maybe because the redhead thinks they are on a first name basis already? Dazai did get him the bathroom key, practically saving his kidneys. 

Before he can open his mouth to say anything else, the bathroom door is swinging open and he looks down (mind you) to stare the redhead in the eyes. 

“Oh!” Chuuya says, face lighting up at the coffee in the brunette’s hands. “Thank you so much!” He takes it from the boy along with his jacket and backpack. 

“Yeah.” Dazai mumbles as he watches the angry woman walk past them and slamming the bathroom door shut behind her. 

Chuuya blinks at the coffee, looks up at the brunette, and then blinks at him. “Well.”

“Well?” Dazai hums, seriously drowning in the boy's ocean blue eyes. 

“Bye.” Chuuya says with a curt nod before turning on his heels towards the cafe’s front doors. 

Dazai’s brows furrow. His eyes travel down all the way to Chuuya’s feet to see toilet paper dragging along with him. “Uh, Chuuya?”

Chuuya swivels around before Osamu can even finish saying his name. “Are you about to ask me out now, Osamu?”

Dazai blinks, stunned for a second before a smile cracks through his lips. “Yeah, I am.”

Chuuya turns around to continue his walk out of the cafe with a big smile on his face. He is so telling Kouyou about this later.

Dazai catches up to walk behind Chuuya, stepping on the toilet paper to detach it from the redhead.

They spend the next five hours walking around the park, trying out the sushi place down the road, and talking about the most irrelevant things you could think of. 

To be honest, Dazai doesn’t know when the last time he genuinely laughed like this was. Chuuya just has something about him that makes Dazai actually enjoy himself for once. 

Maybe it’s because Chuuya reminds him of his mother. That woman was a very blunt and loud person. It makes his chest feel all warm and fuzzy every time the redhead does something that is so much like her.

“Would you like to go to my place?” Dazai asks out of nowhere, surprising himself just as much as Chuuya by the looks of it. 

It doesn’t take Chuuya long to change his face from a surprised, wide eyed, caught off guard look to a genuine smile with a nod. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

And that’s how the two of them ended up in Dazai’s penthouse, sitting on the couch, wrapped up in each other, and watching The Titanic, of all things. Really though, they aren’t watching it as much as they are talking to each other.

“Here.” Dazai says as he holds out a piece of the broken cookie that Chuuya crushed earlier.

Chuuya opens his mouth and the brunette sets it in for him. “Thanks.” He mumbles as he chews. 

Chuuya doesn’t know what he was expecting when he was asked to come to Osamu’s house. It definitely wasn’t this rich ass penthouse. What does this man do for a living?

“So is this where you bring everyone you pretend to be married to?” Chuuya asks as he breaks off a piece of cookie and feeds it to the brunette.

Dazai laughs and nods. “That’s exactly what I do.”

“So at which part of this should I expect to be murdered?” Chuuya asks with a smirk. He really doesn’t think this boy could murder him. Plus, he’s pretty sure his muscle mass is much larger. 

Dazai hums as he looks around. “As soon as Jack paints Rose, you should probably run.”

Chuuya nods. “Noted.” He looks around, staring at the modern looking furniture. “How the hell do you afford this nice of a place anyways?”

Dazai scrunches his nose. “Oh. My dad owns a couple hospitals around here. I deal with the ‘behind the scenes’ shit for him, I guess.”

Chuuya thinks about it for a second. Yeah, that checks out. “It looks beautiful here too. I wouldn’t take you as a plant dad.” He adds as he looks at the very healthy looking Boston Fern. 

Yeah. Chuuya knows his plants. So what? 

He even knows that those fuckers are hard to keep alive. So seeing someone take really good care of one surprises him. Plus, with what he knows about Osamu so far… let’s just say, he doesn't seem like the type to keep a plant alive. 

“Oh.” Dazai blinks as he looks over at the plant. His chest aches from the memories it brings him. “My mom loved them. Especially Boston Ferns, so it’s like my baby.” He smiles. “Keeping it alive keeps her alive.”  Maybe it sounds stupid, but to Dazai it means everything. His mother meant everything to him.

Chuuya smiles, “That’s really sweet.” He murmurs, and genuinely means it. That’s the sweetest thing he’s ever seen someone do for a loved one. 

“Yeah, my dad thinks it’s stupid that I can break my back to keep a plant alive, but refuse to go to medical school.” Dazai laughs sourly at the thought.

Chuuya scrunches his nose. “I’m in med school, and I hate it. I don’t know if I can keep it up.”

Dazai tilts his head. “Do you want to do something else?”

Chuuya nods, laying his head against Dazai’s side. “I wanna write poetry.” 

“Do it.”

“I–” Chuuya sighs. “I don’t know my parents would kill me if I quit med school.”

Dazai thinks about that. He remembers the three months his dad wouldn’t speak to him because he refused med school. He actually liked that better to be honest. “They should understand if you aren’t into it.”

There’s silence for a second to the point Dazai thinks he wasn’t heard by the redhead. But then Chuuya bursts out laughing, albeit startling Dazai. “Yeah. No. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. I haven’t talked to anyone about this.”

For some reason, that makes Dazai smile. He likes knowing things about Chuuya that no one else knows. Especially after Dazai told the redhead about his mom. 

“You’re just easy to tell things to.” Chuuya mumbles under his breath. Barely audible and if Dazai wasn’t cuddled up next to the boy then he wouldn’t have heard it. 

They continue watching The Titanic, talking every ten minutes about whatever pops in their head first. Chuuya even pretends to make a run for it when Jack starts to paint Rose, but Dazai wraps his arms tighter around the redhead to keep him there. 

Before the movie can end, they both fall asleep on the couch, limbs tangled together. 

The next morning, Chuuya wakes up first. He looks around at his surroundings, with the boy flush against his back. He smiles and slowly detaches himself from Osamu.

He picks his hat up off the floor from where he set it by the couch and walks towards the front door. He didn’t mean to fall asleep here, how the hell did that even happen?

Chuuya reaches for his shoes to slip them on. He’s still pretty groggy from just waking up, so he’s basically hopping around to get them on. Definitely loud, but the brunette hasn’t moved. Must be a deep sleeper.

Dazai is, in fact, not a deep sleeper because the second he felt the redhead leave his arms he woke up. He didn’t say anything or move because he thought Chuuya got up to use the bathroom, not grab his shit and run for the hills. 

Dazai sits up to watch Chuuya open the door and slip out without looking back. 

They just fell asleep. They didn’t even do anything, so why does it hurt so bad to watch Chuuya leave without a goodbye? Especially after everything. 

“Kouyou, remember that guy I was telling you about?” Chuuya asks as he walks down the street. He just left Osamu’s house. He can’t wipe the smile off his face.

“Oh, the one you told about your family being insufferable? That guy?” Kouyou can’t help the salty tone in her voice. She is totally not insufferable! 

“Oh. You heard that?” Chuuya tilts his head, trying to remember when he got off the phone with her yesterday. He can’t remember.

“Okay yeah, but tell me. I need to know all the juicy details!” He hears on the other end of his phone.

“You’re starting to sound a lot like your fiancee.” The redhead says with a hum, pausing in his walk when someone cuts him off on the street. 

“Hurry up.”

“Okay, okay.” Chuuya tells her about how they met and the amazing date after. Then he tells her about the cookie, and the murder, and the Titanic, and lastly how he fell asleep at the guys house.

“So, let me get this straight.” Kouyou says, absolutely dumbfounded. “You met, probably the love of your life, and then you left without saying goodbye?!” 

Chuuya stops walking. Why did he do that? Why the HELL did he do that? “Oh my god. Kouyou, why did I fucking do that?!” 

“Great question. We would all love to know the answer to that!” She says on the other end of the call.

“Fuck! I need to go back!” He says as he turns on his heels and starts speed walking back towards the direction of the penthouse. 

“Let me know how it goes! Go get your mans!” And with that she hangs up and Chuuya practically starts running. 

Knocking. There’s knocking on Dazai’s door, and he’s expecting (hoping) it to be a certain redhead so he jumps up and swings the door open.

“Oh.” Dazai says, blinking. “It’s just you.”

Ranpo grins at him, stupid big grin. “Missed you too, bro!” He says as he kicks his shoes off, the door forgotten about.

Dazai rolls his eyes and turns to his kitchen for something to eat. “Why are you here?”

Ranpo slides into a bar stool, watching Dazai grab an apple. “Yosano told me you texted her about some boy. I wanted to come meet him.”

Dazai sighs. “You two are the most nosy people I know. I’m never telling her anything again.”

He looks over at the fern that sits on his counter-top. A small frown forming on his lips as he reaches to touch the leaves.

Ranpo watches the whole thing diligently. He would like to say he is a master detective. Nothing slips past him! “That fern.” Ranpo begins, “you told him about her didn’t you.”

Dazai’s head whips up. Of course Ranpo would find out. Dazai can’t do anything without him knowing. “Yeah. I did.” He mumbles.

Ranpo pulls a lollipop out of his pocket and rips the wrapper off. His prize for being right on the money, yet again! “That’s serious bro. Does Akiko know?”

Dazai shakes his head. “Of course not.”

“My boy’s in love!” Ranpo shouts. “I didn’t think I would see the day, but there you have it everyone! Osamu Dazai is in love!”

Chuuya pauses by the front door, hand about to open it the rest of the way from where it’s cracked. A smile on his face. 

Really? Did he just hear that right?! Best. Day. Ever–

“Fuck no!” Chuuya can hear Dazai say through the slightly opened door and his breath catches in his throat. “I couldn’t stand him. So glad he’s gone, I never wanna see him again.”

Chuuya scowls, hand flinching back like he just touched a hot stove and not a door knob. 

“He’s short, annoying–” Chuuya winces with each word that comes out of the brunette’s mouth. “Doesn’t know how to get the hint. Oh! And he has a tacky ass hat too.”

Chuuya reaches up defensively to touch his hat. This is an awesome hat, not tacky whatsoever.

That fucking asshole!

Chuuya has heard enough. He turns on his heels and stomps away because FUCK HIM.

“Damn.” Ranpo says with a frown. He always is right, so why the hell did he get this wrong? Well. No point in dwelling! “Don’t forget we gotta meet up with my sister tonight.”

Dazai nods. “At Lupin, right?”

Ranpo swirls his tongue around his lollipop before yanking it out of his mouth with a ‘pop’ sound. “Yes exactly, Akiko said you can’t be late this time.”

Dazai looks at the fern one more time before tearing his gaze away to smile at Ranpo. “When have I ever been late?”

“Boys!” Yosano yells as she jumps up from the table she was just sitting at. “I would punch you guys in the face for being late, but I’m in a good mood today so I will let it slide this once.”

Dazai laughs as he scratches at the nape of his neck. “Blame Ranpo, I told him we couldn’t be late today!”

Ranpo scowls. “Oh shut the hell up, you literally–”

Yosano squeezes her brother and best friend in a tight group hug. “Stop arguing.” She murmurs. 

Dazai squirms his way out of the hug, gasping for breath because she literally has the strongest arms. “What’s the special occasion? Why are we here?”

Yosano perks up. “Oh! I just wanted to show you my uhh…” She trails off as she wiggles her left hand. A literal engagement ring on her finger.

“What?! Akiko! Are you engaged??” Dazai gasps, eyes wide because he wasn’t expecting that to ever happen. Yosano has been dating her girlfriend– well, now fiancee, for probably five years. 

“Congrats sis!” Ranpo says as he wraps his arm around her to kiss the side of her temple. “About time one of us decided to settle down.”

Yosano rolls her eyes. “I had to because neither of you guys ever will. Got Mr. Playboy–” She looks at Dazai and he gasps, clutching his chest clearly offended. “and Mr. Know-it-all.” She looks over at Ranpo, who nods in agreement at his fate. 

“Well, I’m happy for you.” Dazai says with a nod. “Where is Kouyou now?” He asks, looking around because he rarely ever sees Yosano without her. 

They make their way back to her table. “Oh she’s here. Ozaki just went to fetch her brother. We invited him too so you guys all could meet.” 

Dazai nods. “So when is the big day?”

“Am I your best man!?” Ranpo asks.

“Of course not. Osamu is.” Yosano says. Ranpo huffs and Dazai is beaming. “And it's one year from now. We are going to Greece for the wedding!”

Dazai smiles. “Oh yeah, that’s awesome. Isn’t your guys family down there?”

Ranpo nods but before he can say anything—

“Baby!” Yosano screeches and the two boy’s heads shoot up to look in the direction she’s running in.

There Kouyou is, getting wrapped up in one of those tight squeezes Yosano loves to give everyone. Except when she does it to Kouyou, you can tell there’s so much passion and love behind it. Dazai longs for that kind of love. The love that those two have.

His eyes drift to the left of Kouyou to see the figure standing next to her and immediately regrets all of his life choices in that moment because–

–there Chuuya is. If looks could kill then Dazai would be dead because Chuuya is glaring at him like the brunette just murdered every single thing the redhead loves in life. 

Jesus fucking Christ.

“You.” Chuuya growls, making everyone turn to look at Dazai. 

The three of them slowly walk up to where Dazai and Ranpo sit, “You following me now?” Dazai spits out angrily. 

Chuuya scowls. “As if I’d ever willingly—”

“Or are you going to run away again without a second glance?” Dazai cuts him off because he doesn’t have time to listen to Chuuya.

The redhead’s face heats up with anger. Everyone else silently watching them. “Oh? You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He asks, grinning like the devil. “Is it because I’m annoying?”

Dazai opens his mouth to protest because how the hell did Chuuya hear that?

Chuuya puts his hand up, silencing Dazai. “Do you like the hat? Or do you think it’s tacky?” Chuuya fixes the hat that’s sitting on his head, a new one that looks the exact same as the day before, just a different color. “I thought I looked rather hot in it.”

“You–”

“Okay!” Yosano yells over Dazai. “Apparently you two already met!”

Kouyou looks between the two boys, piecing it together finally. “Ah, the coffee shop boy?”

Dazai and Chuuya both ignore the two girls, glaring at each other. 

Ranpo nods. “Definitely the coffee shop boy.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Chuuya snaps. “I don’t want to look at you or your dead mackerel eyes ever again.”

Dazai gasps. “Well I don’t want to see you and your short ass ever again either! How do you get far with those short legs huh?” Chuuya’s jaw drops. “You’re probably slow, like a slug!”

“You–!” Chuuya’s fists squeeze tight, trying to contain his anger. Who the hell does this guy think he is!?

Yosano, Ranpo, and Kouyou slowly back away. This is something those two have to work out.

“Osamu, you’re a piece of—”

“Ah, ah ah.” Dazai says, waving his finger in Chuuya’s face, making the redhead swat it away. “It’s Dazai to you, Chuuya.”

He flinches back. “Nakahara. Asshole.”

Kouyou looks at her fiancee, clearly stressed. 

“Don’t worry babe.” Yosano reassures her. “They will be fine come the wedding.”

Kouyou nods. “I hope so.”

“No, they won’t.” Ranpo so helpfully pitches in, gaining a glare from his sister. He smiles and takes an obnoxiously loud sip out of his fruity rum runner. 

“I need wine!” Chuuya yells while Dazai asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey.

This is going to be a long night. 

Chapter Text

Dazai is standing in line, suitcase in hand, as he waits his turn to show his plane ticket. There’s one month until the wedding, so everyone should be arriving in Greece today. He is beyond excited to finally watch his best friend marry the love of her life.

“Ticket, sir.” The bored looking employee– Ryuu Akutagawa, reads the name tag– says.

Dazai shows his phone screen that has the ticket on it.

“Enjoy your flight.”

“You too.” Dazai absentmindedly mumbles as he drags his suitcase towards the plane to get to his first class seat.

The employee rolls their eyes because they hear that all the damn time. He’s not flying dumbass! He wants to yell to the stupid tall man. 

“Ticket.” Akutagawa says five minutes later to the next person boarding the plane.

Chuuya waves his phone screen in front of the employee, practically buzzing where he stands because, come on now, Greece!? Who wouldn’t be excited! 

The raven haired boy sighs. “Enjoy your flight.”

Chuuya drags his suitcase and flashes the worker a smile, “Thanks, you too!” He says before hauling off towards the plane. 

“Ugh! I’m not going on the damn plane people!” He yells and the next customer about to board flinches back, clearly startled. 

Atsushi, his annoying coworker runs over, “Ryuu! That’s not how you talk to the customers!” The white haired boy looks stressed. “I’m so sorry ma’am!” He says and Akutagawa just rolls his eyes.

“Ticket.”

Chuuya throws his carry-on bag up above the seats. He needed one of the cheapest tickets, so he’s stuck in the middle of two random people. Kouyou left two weeks ago with Yosano to start preparations earlier. She invited him, but he had some business to settle back in Japan first.

“Excuse me.” Chuuya mumbles, wrapping his cardigan around him tighter as he squeezes past an old woman and finally drops down into his seat. “It’s been years since I flew.” He says to her.

The old lady looks over at the boy. “Can you open up my air vent?” 

Chuuya scrunches his nose and puffs out his cheeks with a sigh. “Yes ma’am.” He leans up and twists her air vent open. 

Dazai makes his way out of the first class section of the plane, towards the back because he had to ask a flight attendant for some Benadryl. After he gets some, a flash of obnoxious orangy-red flashes in his peripherals, and he swears he’s getting war flashbacks.

Well if it isn’t Nakahara damn Chuuya.

“Chuuya!” Dazai exclaims as he makes his way over to the redhead’s seat.

Chuuya’s head snaps up from where he was looking at his phone, arguing with his mother. “What the hell–” Once he realizes who’s standing in front of him, he sighs. “Dazai.”

This is the last person he wanted to see.

The redhead scrunches his nose, "Wait- didn't I tell you to call me Nakaha-"

Dazai hums, interrupting the boy because no, he will not be calling him that. “How lucky are we to be flying the same plane. I knew you were following me!”

Chuuya scowls. “Of course the fuck I’m not! I would never have gotten on this plane if I knew you were on it.”

“It hasn’t taken off yet, you still have a chance to get off~” Dazai sings the last few words. 

“Still irritating as ever I see.” Chuuya huffs as he crosses his arms over his chest because he won’t get off this plane and let Dazai win. 

“Still as short as ever.” Dazai counters back.

“Fuck off, is that really all you got?” Chuuya scowls and shoves his hand in Dazai’s face. “Leave me alone, I’m engaged now.”

Dazai blinks for a second, staring at the engagement ring on Chuuya’s finger before smiling and turning to the old woman. “Oh! How did you two meet? I’m surprised he didn’t walk out on the first date!”

The old woman looks up. “What?” She yells and Dazai rolls his eyes to look back at Chuuya. 

Chuuya scoffs, clearly offended. No, he’s not actually engaged. This ring is just from his old fiance, Shirase. He likes to wear it out sometimes just so fuckers will leave him the hell alone. 

“I see you’re still as lonely as ever.” The redhead says.

Dazai bites his lip, “Didn’t know you’d stoop low enough to get granny pussy! None of the men in your life want you?”

Chuuya’s head whips to the side to look at the old lady, who’s squinting at Dazai. She obviously hasn’t processed a single thing the brunette said. “I’m sorry ma’am.” He mutters.

“What?” She yells again.

Fuck, Chuuya can’t do this for 15 hours. 

Dazai sighs. “Well, see you in Greece, sweetheart. I’ll be heading back to my first class seat now~”

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “Finally. Fuck away from me.”

About 6 hours into the flight Chuuya is about to burst. He curses his small bladder. He really thought he could last the whole flight. Dumb of him to have such high hopes for his body. 

He squeezes past the old lady again, who passed out hours ago. Then he head’s towards the back where the bathroom is. 

Right before he makes it to the door he watches a young woman walk in and shut the door behind her. The ‘Unoccupied” sign changed to ‘Occupied’.  

He sighs and turns on his heels to head to the front. The first class section should have a bathroom that he can use because he can’t wait for the girl to finish up. He’s got to go bad!

He walks towards the front of the plane, making his way to first class. The bathroom up there is unoccupied.

Thank god.

A few feet before he makes it to the bathroom someone gets out of their seat and goes in there. Oh my fuck. Chuuya needs to stop waiting so long to pee then maybe his kidneys wouldn’t be on the brink of life and death. 

He turns on his heels again, about to head back to the other bathroom to see if the girl is out until he stops in his tracks and looks over.

There Dazai is, laying his lanky body out in his recliner first class fucking chair, with beats headset on and an eye mask covering his eyes. He’s passed out closest to the window, a lady sleeping right next to him in her own recliner. 

Chuuya looks over at the small ledge under the window. A water and cookie sitting there peacefully next to Dazai. 

Chuuya smiles, pee long forgotten. 

He lifts the ends of his cardigan up so it doesn’t drag across the lady as he climbs over her. He uses the arm rests to set his feet on so he doesn’t step on her either. Next he steps on Dazai’s arm rests, crouching just above him as he drops his cardigan to reach out and grab the cookie.

He takes a big ass fucking bite of the cookie because fuck Dazai. He hums, satisfied with how warm the cookie still is. 

Chuuya looks down at Dazai’s legs sticking out from under him where he’s crouched above the brunette. He’s facing the front of the plane, so Dazai’s head is behind him

The redhead grabs hold of the recliner chair in front of him to help get a boost so he can start climbing his way off Dazai’s chair.

Before he makes it very far his foot hits the recliner button sending the chair to move a few inches. Dazai stirs a little in his sleep, and now Chuuya can’t move. The hell?

He looks behind him, heart pounding in his chest because if Dazai is awake then Chuuya has a lot of explaining to do. Which is kind of hard considering he has a whole cookie still hanging out of his mouth. 

What he’s surprised to find is Dazai still sleeping like a rock. It’s his damn cardigan that's stuck between the armrest and the plane wall. For Christ sake. 

With cookie still lodged in his mouth he goes back to his place crouching over Dazai. His feet on each one of Dazai’s arm rests, with ass basically in the brunette’s face. Then he wraps his arms around his cardigan and yanks at it.

It doesn’t come free, so he huffs around the cookie and tries again. Still not budging. 

Chuuya looks around. Now, he’s very obviously stressed. This seriously cannot be happening right now.

He starts yanking on the cardigan, over and over. Bouncing up and down in his crouched position above the asshole to try and get it loose. Grunting against the cookie in his mouth. It clearly looks like he’s in a porno, joining the mile high club right now. 

He uses his hands to shimmy himself out of the damn cardigan because maybe that will help him get it unstuck from Dazai’s recliner. 

Once he’s free, he uses his arms and legs to crawl around until he’s now crouched facing Dazai. He looks down at the brunette sleeping peacefully under the eye mask. Stupid bastard. 

He yanks on the cardigan again, but this time loses balance and starts to fall forward towards fucking Dazai!

He squeezes his eye’s shut and brings up his arms quickly to try and save himself before that disaster unfolds. 

A second later he cracks his eyes open because he didn’t fall on the brunette. His arms saved him! The only good thing that’s happened today. 

Now, he’s mere inches away from Dazai’s face with his own. Cookie is still between his lips as he stares wide eyed at the brunette. There’s a small tune coming from the the beats on Dazai’s head so he leans in closer to listen–

“I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want. I wanna–”

Chuuya flinches back, brows furrowed in confusion from hearing the Spice Girls coming out of the beats. A crumb of the cookie falling onto Dazai’s chest. Whoops, bastard deserves it. 

Back to the main task at hand.

He grabs the cardigan again and begins yanking over and over. Bouncing up and down so much that it starts shaking the two recliners that are side by side.

Naomi gets abruptly woken up from shaking. Her eyes are covered with her sleep mask, so at first she thinks it’s plane turbulence. 

She furrows her brows under her mask, waiting for it to go away. It doesn’t.

Is the plane crashing?! 

She lifts her eye mask to see if anyone else is freaking out because they are all about to die. Apparently she won’t be visiting her brother in Greece if she ends up dying on the way there!

What she was not expecting to see was a random boy riding the dude she’s flying next too!

Her eyes widen as she looks around, clearly nobody notices what’s going on. Within a split second she makes the decision to completely ignore what she just saw and put the mask back over her eyes. Her brother is so lucky she loves him enough to deal with this shit.

Chuuya finally gets his cardigan unstuck from where it was wedged. His saliva is threatening to escape out the sides of his mouth because of the cookie.

He scrambles to get off of Dazai’s chair.

With a huff of relief he closes his eyes. This cookie was not worth that. 

Once the plane ride is finally done, Dazai all but kisses the ground. He hates flying. 

“Bro!” Ranpo yells as he basically runs into Dazai’s arms. “I missed you so much!”

Chuuya watches the whole thing from behind Dazai, rolling his eyes. It's like they are long distance lovers seeing each other after so many years apart. Disgusting- love. 

“Missed you too, buddy.” The brunette awkwardly pats Ranpo’s back. He’s not exactly the touchy feely person. 

Ranpo detaches himself from Dazai, a big smile on his face. “Now everyone is finally in Greece.”

Dazai hums. “We were the last to get here?” He says ‘we’ because he can feel Chuuya’s anger stabbing him in the back right now. He hates how he can feel the idiot's gaze lingering on him. Ugh.

Ranpo nods his head. “Yep! That’s okay though." He digs a lollipop out of his pocket. "Yosano and Kouyou are excited that you guys are arriving today. They have been majorly stressed with all the preparations."

Chuuya hums, stepping forward. Way too close for Dazai’s liking. “Then we better be on our way.”

They begin walking and Dazai calls back to Chuuya who’s struggling to drag his heavy ass suitcase along. What does he need in that giant bag anyways? Probably more tacky hats. “Don’t get lost, slug. Those short legs aren’t getting you very far— Ouch!”

Chuuya huffs, satisfied enough that he got to kick the bastard before they pile into Ranpo’s convertible. 

Greece looks beautiful and the weather is to die for. This whole trip would be amazing if he didn’t have to see Dazai’s face in it. He can’t have everything though. 

“We need to stop at the store first.” Ranpo says as he drives down the road. “Need to pick up some supplies for tonight.”

Chuuya nods, feeling the warm breeze blow through his long curly hair. He would definitely live here. 

Dazai, on the other hand, is paying no mind to the beautiful surroundings. He stares down at his phone, reading the text messages with his dad. 

Dad: Did my account get hacked?

Dad: Why is there a ticket for Greece purchased? 

Dazai: dad, I told you this seven months ago. Akiko is getting married in Greece. 

Dad: The med student?

Dazai: yeah. 

Dad: Glad you're going then. Maybe she can convince you to get into medicine. 

Dazai: we alr went over this. 

Dad: We can go over it again. 

Dazai: ohhh man. i’m losing signal…

Dad: Oh no. Okay, we will talk more later. 

Dazai rolls his eyes. His dad isn’t the brightest. 

Chuuya leans over to look down at Dazai’s phone. The boy clicks it off the second Chuuya gets a glimpse at the name “Dad”. He scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. Being squished between Dazai and Ranpo was not something he agreed to. He got forced into this because of how “short” he is. Fucking assholes. 

“We’re here!” Ranpo says, pulling into an empty parking space. 

“I need to grab the fireworks. You and Chuuya go get the alc.” Ranpo says before he skips away, giving them no time to disagree with him. 

Dazai looks over at Chuuya, who’s already glaring at him and he sighs. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Why do I gotta be stuck with you?” Chuuya grumbles under his breath, although he speeds up to follow in step with Dazai towards the alcohol section. 

The bastard's legs are long, so it feels like he's jogging to keep up. It's a good thing Chuuya likes to run marathons often or he would be out of breath. Especially because he would not ever ask the idiot to slow down for him. That would bruise his ego and ignite the former's. 

“Trust me. I’m not thrilled either.” Dazai mutters, rolling his eyes. 

“Yeah! Then let me do this alone. I don’t need you!” He yells loud enough to cause a few heads to turn. 

Dazai scoffs. “Dumb ass. You don’t have enough hands to carry the alcohol alone.” 

“Like you’re much help."

Dazai sighs dramatically. It’s like he’s babysitting. Chuuya is like a literal child. 

They make it to the aisle. Dazai dutifully ignores the redhead as he looks around for his- ah, there it is. 

“Why are you grabbing whiskey? This is a party with like 11 people. We don’t need hard liquor.” Chuuya says as he frowns at the bottle in Dazai’s hand. 

“Trust me. You’ll want hard liquor.” The brunette says, hugging the bottle like his life depends on it. 

Chuuya rolls his eyes, shuffling past Dazai to look at all the bottles lined perfectly across the shelf. “Why whiskey anyway? What are you eighty? Have some class.” He's eyes scan a little farther up. “There! Red wine.”

He reaches up, forced to go up on his tip toes to grab the wine and hug it just like Dazai did with the whiskey. 

The brunette scrunches his nose. “That’s fucking disgusting. I forgot you like that shit.”

“You shouldn’t have known in the first place.” Chuuya mumbles. 

Dazai rolls his eyes, still hugging the whiskey. “Trust me. I wish I didn’t. I wasn’t expecting to see you at my favorite bar eleven months ago.”

“I can go to whatever fucking bar I want to!”

Dazai bristles defensively, “Not that one!” That's his bar, not Chuuya's.

“You’re so immature!” He says, stepping on Dazai’s foot hard. (Not immature of him at all, nope.)

"Ow!” Dazai whines, frantically reaching down to grab his toe and—

CRASH

He gasps as he watches his beautiful whiskey spread across the cold, dirty ceramic tile. 

“Dazai! You stupid fucking idiot! How the hell are you going to drop—!”

Dazai is stressed, and when he's stressed his mind doesn't work right.

So, that being said, he does what comes to his mind first. He shoves Chuuya’s shoulder- to which the redhead wasn't expecting- causing him to lose balance and stumble back, landing against the alcohol rack and-

CRASH 

Chuuya elbow's had landed in the bottles, causing them to crash to the floor next to Dazai’s stupid whiskey bottle. The bottle of wine in his hand falls soon after with another loud crash as he tries to catch one of the other bottles. 

Moral of the story, it's a disaster and-

and Chuuya has never seen a more real representation of how he feels in life right fucking now. That bottle of wine smashing into hundreds of pieces is exactly what his heart feels like. 

“No!” Chuuya all but cries out, shaking out of- he doesn't even know. Sadness? Anger.

Dazai stares dumbfounded at the mess Chuuya (definitely not him) created. 

“You’re so clumsy!” Dazai gasps, a small smile threatening to escape his lips because that’s the funniest shit he’s ever seen. 

Chuuya’s face heats up, blood boiling with anger. “Me?! WHAT?!!” Chuuya leaps forward and shakes the hell out of Dazai. “You did this! How could you be so dumb?!”

That’s it. Dazai can’t help it. He starts laughing, cackling actually. There’s so much alcohol on the floor. They are definitely never allowed back in this store after this.

Chuuya continues shaking the life out of him, yelling every curse word in the dictionary out to him. What a foul mouthed child.

“You think this is funny, bastard?!” Chuuya is out of breath, but a smile across his face betrays him because— no! this isn’t funny— it’s just Dazai’s stupid fucking laugh is contagious. He’s getting sick, that must be it!

Dazai gasps for air. “Yes!" He cracks his eyes open to look down at Chuuya's grin, his white pearly teeth straight and pretty surrounded by peachy pink lips. "So do yo—“

“What the hell guys?!” Ranpo calls as he walks around the corner. He sees Dazai getting shook by Chuuya in the middle of a sea of glass and alcohol. 

“Get. Them. Out.” A store employee threatens through clenched teeth; he's standing next to Ranpo with a mop bucket full of hot soapy water. 

Ranpo nods, he should have known better than to leave these two alone. 

"Get your asses out of here." He says, irritation clear in his tone as he yanks the two out by their wrists.

He points to the concrete street out front of the store with a stern look in his eyes. "Don't. Fucking. Move."

Chuuya and Dazai both look at each other out of the corner of their eyes. One with their arms crossed over each other while the other fiddles with his bandages that wrap around his wrist. 

"I'll be right back."  He mumbles as he turns on his heels to go back into the store and deal with that mess.

They stand there silently until the doors close behind Ranpo.

"God, you are so useless." Chuuya mumbles.

Dazai gasps, turning to get a better look at the boy next to him. "I'll have you know, that was you who made me drop the whiskey!"

"How am I going to last a month with this idiot?!"

"I am not an idiot- you erh idiot!"

Chuuya sighs dramatically dropping his head into his hands. "My wine."

"My whiskey!"

"I'm going to text Ranpo to get me some wine." 

Dazai leans over to look at the other's phone, "Ask for some whiskey too."

"..."

"..."

"Hello~ Earth to Chuuya! Did you hear me? I said: ask for some whiskey too."

Chuuya places his phone in his pocket, humming an unrecognizable tune as he looks around.

"Are you even listening to me?!"

"..."

"Chuuya."

"..."

Dazai's shoulders slump forward as he juts his lower lip out, this is anything but fun.

After a good ten minutes in silence Ranpo finally comes out with fireworks and champagne. (No wine, Chuuya noticed.)

“You guys are fucking horrible.” He says as he shoves his grocery bags in both their arms. 

Chuuya at least has the brain cells to feel guilty, unlike Dazai who just smirks at Ranpo. 

“Sorry Ranpo.” Chuuya murmurs as he makes his way to the middle seat of the convertible again. 

“You should be! I had to pay for all of that!”

Dazai hums, fiddling with the fireworks. “It’s your fault really. Why would you let Chuuya near me? He likes to ruin good things.”

Chuuya bristles in anger. Like hell. Dazai is the only one who ruined their 'good thing' eleven months ago. 

Ranpo snatches the fireworks out of Dazai’s hand. “You’re right. It is my fault for trusting two adults to get alcohol!”

“Yeah, give me the fireworks. Dazai isn’t trustworthy. He likes to lie and has a terrible fashion sense!” Chuuya says as he reaches for the fireworks Ranpo has in his hand. 

“Your hats are tacky! And don’t get me started on your chokers!” Dazai yell, really the choker must be an issue because looking at it makes Dazai light headed. Terrible fashion. 

“How dare you!” Chuuya screeches, about to lunge at Dazai from his seat. 

“Enough!” Ranpo yells. He’s had it with these two and the month is only beginning. “Neither of you are trustworthy enough to hold the fireworks and for the love of all that is holy shut the hell up!!”

Chuuya clamps his mouth shut, he’s getting yelled at like he’s a child and maybe he’s immature but now he can’t hold back the giggle that escapes his lips. 

Dazai side eyes Chuuya, trying his damn hardest not to laugh because Ranpo barely gets angry like this. If Chuuya wasn’t laughing then he would have an easier time keeping his composure. 

“Stop it.” Dazai whispers, voice quivering at the end as a giggle slips out of his own mouth. Fuck he’s going to get yelled at by Yosano later. 

Ranpo's eye twitches as he grips onto the steering wheel tighter.

Chuuya curses himself internally because Dazai’s stupid laugh makes this whole thing one hundred times funnier. He laughs louder, trying to cover his mouth with his own hands to muffle the sound. 

Not even a second later Dazai bursts into a loud cackle from seeing Chuuya so red in the face for trying to hide his own laughter. Tears literally pooling in his eyes from how funny the redhead looks. 

“I hate you both.” Ranpo murmurs as he drives. He better get paid for babysitting. 

“There’s our two best men!” Yosano says with a huge smile on her face, arm around her fiancee's waist. Her smile drops a little when she sees her brother stomp towards the front door of the house, the opposite way from where Kouyou and her are standing. There are stress lines all over his face. 

Dazai smiles. “Here we are!” 

“Get your shitty bag out of this car shitty Dazai!” Chuuya yells as he works on dragging the two suitcases out of the trunk. He might hate Dazai, but he won’t let the bastard ruin his clothes by forgetting his suitcase in a hot trunk!

“Just because you add cuss words to everything you say doesn’t mean I’ll listen~” Dazai teases, even though he’s walking back towards Chuuya to grab his bag. 

Kouyou looks at Yosano. “I thought you said they would be better by now.” 

Yosano smiles, Kouyou can obviously tell it’s strained. “They will… they are!”

Kouyou sighs, but nods. “Chuuya, I’ll show you to your room.” She yells over. 

“Thank god! Get me away from him.” 

She groans as she detaches herself from her lover. This is going to be a long month. 

“I’ll get you set up in yours too, Osamu.” Yosano hums as she walks over to help her friend carry all the shit inside. 

They all walk inside, Ranpo practically running in the opposite direction when he sees them all. 

Chuuya walks into his room, looking around. So spacious. He loves it. Plus it has a perfect view of the backyard. So many tropical flowers, trees, and a pool. Then there’s a path that he assumes leads down to the beach Kouyou was telling him about last week on the phone. 

Oh! And he has a beautiful bathroom with a nice shower and bath.

“So, one problem.” Kouyou says as she looks at Chuuya, frowning. 

Chuuya pauses, hand on his suitcase zipper as he looks up at her. “What?”

“Mom and Dad are staying at the house, too.” Chuuya winces. “So, just mentally prepare yourself for a month of that.”

Chuuya groans, scrubbing his hands down his face. Great. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’m sorry.” 

Chuuya stiffens and blinks at his sister. “Kouyou. Don’t apologize. It’s your wedding, so of course I can get along with them for a month! It’s nothing I can’t handle!” 

Kouyou lets out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, alright. Thank you."

Chuuya hums. “You can go see Yosano now. I promise I’m fine and have it handled over here.”

Kouyou nods. “Okay. We should go to the beach before dinner tonight.”

“Yep!” Chuuya sings and slumps down as soon as the door falls shut behind her. 

It’s just one month. A month where he has to lie to his parents and sister. Then he can tell them all. 

“Thanks for showing me to my room, Akiko.” Dazai hums as he sets his suitcase down. His room is pretty basic. Not as nice as the one back at home, but it’s nice enough to be comfortable for the next month. 

He gave Odasaku strict instructions on how to watch after his house while he’s away. Especially his damn fern. If that isn’t as healthy as he left it then his friend will suffer major consequences. But! That shouldn’t happen because Odasaku is good at taking care of a bunch of orphans, so why would watching a little old fern be hard, right? (He's obviously stressed.)

“Of course, I’m just so excited for you to be here.” Yosano says as she falls back on his bed and looks at the ceiling fan spin above her head.

He drops down into the bed right next to her. “So imma take it she’s here then?”

Yosano hums. “Yes of course she is. You two better get along because I can’t have you fighting with everyone this month.”

“I get along with everyone!”

Yosano glares at him from the side. “Yeah? Then why is Ranpo already on the verge of a breakdown? You two are best friends!”

“Chuuya’s fault~” Dazai sings and Yosano gives him that look.

He sighs. “Okay, okay fine. I’ll try harder.”

“Thank you, I knew you could do it!” She says as she swings her body up. “Imma go find my lover. See you at dinner?”

“Yep!” He says, popping the ‘p’ at the end.

A few hours after everyone is settled in, Kouyou and Chuuya make their way to the beach. Unfortunately, Yosano made Ranpo and Dazai come with them. 

They all walk down the trail for five minutes, leading them to a beautiful private beach behind the house they are staying at. The waves are beautiful. The beach in Japan does not compare to this one.

“I needed this.” Chuuya says as he peels his shirt off. Sadly his hat and choker are left at home because he is not about to ruin them in the water. 

Kouyou laughs as they head towards the waves. Leaving the other boys in the sand. “Me too. I never thought planning a wedding would be so stressful.” 

Chuuya smiles, tilting his head as he looks at his older sister. “I’m proud of you, really.” 

Kouyou runs her hand through the water. “Thanks. I’m really happy.” She smiles. 

Dazai watches Chuuya and Kouyou play around in the waves. He doesn't know what he was expecting under the shirts Chuuya wears. He obviously knew there were some muscles. He could feel it a year ago when his arms were wrapped around that thin waist of his. But, that memory from a year ago didn't do him justice. He can see each defined muscle contract as he messes around in the water. It's like his body was carved by the hands of the gods.

He shakes those thoughts away. He is not going to gawk over Chuuya Nakahara, thank you very much. 

“So, where is she?”

Ranpo smiles next to Dazai. “You gonna try and fix things with her?” 

Dazai hums, thinking about it. “Maybe. It’s been three years. People change.”

Ranpo nods. “She’s over there.” He says pointing off in the distance farther down the beach. Ranpo's cousin lying out on a towel. 

Dazai looks over, taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Go get em tiger!” His friend says, slapping his back to push him forward. 

Dazai waves his hand back dismissively as he heads towards his ex, Sasaki. 

Yosano and Ranpo set him up five years ago with their cousin. Sasaki was his first real relationship. That ended horribly three years ago though when she cheated on him, leaving him heart broken. But people change, right?

“Sasaki!” Dazai shouts as he makes his way up to his… oh, very noticeable naked ex. 

She lifts her body up from laying on her stomach. Tits out right in the open. Okay!

“Osamu!” She screeches.

Dazai winces, “Hey, it’s been awhile!”

She throws an oversized shirt on. “Yeah, three years. My, has the time just flown by! You look great.”

Dazai smiles. “So do you.” He isn’t sure he should say that to someone he just saw completely naked two seconds ago. 

“Hey, babe!” A voice comes from a man running towards them. Sasaki turns around to face the guy making Dazai scowl. 

“Who’s this?” The man asks, wrapping his arm around Sasaki. 

She giggles. “Oh, this is Osamu Dazai. Osamu, this is Doppo. Doppo Kunikida.” 

Dazai smiles, it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Kunikida. Nice to meet you.” 

Kunikida looks Dazai up and down before returning the same smile. “Right back at you.”

Sasaki giggles, wrapping her arms around the man. “Doppo and I met seven months ago!”

Dazai nods firmly. “How lovely.”

“You’ll be here for the whole month, right?” She asks.

Dazai nods. “Yep! Wouldn’t miss my best friend's wedding!”

Kunikida nods. “So glad we have the chance to get close.”

“Likewise.” 

Chapter Text

Chuuya’s lying stomach down on his bed, legs swinging behind him as he stares at his computer. He just got out of the shower– literally the most amazing shower he’s ever taken. They have an hour until dinner, so he decided to look through his Facebook. 

What he’s staring at now is his bio. It reads: Class of 2027 Kyoto Uni 💉. He scoffs. He wrote that back when he was trying to convince himself he did want to become a doctor. But now… 

Well, now he needs to delete that bio, but he can’t until after the wedding. Because if he tells his family beforehand, then the whole thing might get ruined. His parents would go ballistic! 

There’s a knock on the door. 

“Come in.” He hums as he shuts his computer. 

“Baby?” His mother says as she opens the door, his father walks in behind her.

He smiles. Great. “Hey mom, dad.”

“We just wanted to check in on you before dinner.” His mom says, sitting on the edge of his bed while his dad leans against the door frame. “How was the flight?”

“It was good.” He gets vivid flashbacks of bouncing over Dazai with a cookie in his mouth. He scrunches his nose. “Long.” 

His mom nods. “I see.” She pauses and he knows what she's about to say. “Have you talked to Shirase?”

He sighs, over-dramatically. “No, mom. It’s been almost a year since we stopped talking.”

She frowns. “You haven’t made up your mind yet? All of the medical students are getting married nowadays.”

He closes his eyes. “I don’t know…”

She places her hand on the top of his head. “I really think you two should get back together. Your father and I just want what’s best for you, baby.” She sighs. “You're a bright, young, twenty-two-year-old man. You’re just starting to get a taste of the real world, but baby, you’ll make a mistake if you leave this good thing you have with him.”

He nods, just to get this topic over with. “I’ll think about it.” No, he won’t. 

“Good!” His mom says, getting up abruptly. “Get ready for dinner now.”

Chuuya looks at himself in the mirror after he puts his hair up in a ponytail and yeah, he’s hot. He’s in his gray silk button up over his black jeans with the signature choker. No hat tonight since he wanted to do his hair. He would have rocked it though, Stupid Dazai.

Chuuya turns on his heels and heads out of his room to meet up with everyone else.

“Oh.” Dazai says as soon as he opens his door, seeing Chuuya across the hall open his door at the same time. Not the first thing he wanted to see when he left his room.

Chuuya scoffs as he walks down the hall, trying to pretend he can’t see the idiot that’s walking right next to him. 

“Chuuya~”

“Shut the hell up.”

“You know–”

“There they are!” Yosano yells as the two of them walk out to the back porch.

Chuuya forces a smile. “Yep, here we are.” 

“Now that everyone is here—“ Ranpo begins as he holds up his champagne glass. “A toast for the lovely brides-to-be.” 

Kouyou smiles as her fiancee squeezes her hand tighter, champagne glasses in their other hands. 

Yosano and Ranpo’s dad, Fukuzawa, hands both Dazai and Chuuya a glass. The two of them symmetrically nodding back in thanks. 

“Don’t fucking copy me.” Chuuya mumbles under his breath as he elbows Dazai in the side as subtly as possible. 

“You wish I cared enough about you to wanna copy you.” Dazai looks down at him with a smirk. 

Chuuya tightens his grip on his glass while Ranpo goes on and on about love.  “Stay far away from me tonight. I don’t want you ruining my night.”

Dazai chuckles lowly under his breath. “I’d gladly stay away from you.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Just perfect.”

“I know.”

“Boys.” Ranpo says with a glare. “Anything you two would like to add?”

Dazai freezes, remembering where he is right now. He lifts his glass. “To the brides! Cheers!”

Everyone cheers, lifting their champagne in the air before taking a sip. Fireworks begin going off behind them all.

“Nice one.” Chuuya mumbles before downing his whole cup.

Dazai hums, watching the fireworks. “I didn’t see you coming up with anything.”

“I coulda if you’d given me a damn second.”

For the next hour the night goes by rather smoothly. The only reason being Dazai and Chuuya stayed on opposite sides of the party. The only interactions they had were glaring at each other from across the room. 

Ranpo, the amazing host of this party, gets up to get everyone's attention. “Okay, everyone! Next we have a little game to play.”

Everyone listens as Ranpo explains the rules. It’s basically a little game to see who knows the brides better. There will be three groups of three and both of the brides will ask one person from each group a question about the other bride. Then, that person will go ask their designated group the question. They talk amongst themselves and once they think they know the answer, they go tell it to the other bride. If you are right you get a point. Then said bride will ask you a question about her fiancee and so forth. Ranpo would say he’s a genius for coming up with the game. 

“Any questions?” He asks and everyone shakes their head. “Alright then here are your groups: Kouyou’s parents with me, My mom with Sasaki and Kunikida, and— oh” He stares down at his paper. He wrote this before he remembered Dazai and Chuuya couldn’t stand each other. “Dad with, uh– Chuuya and Dazai.”

Chuuya groans as he looks over at Dazai from the other end of the porch. Just great, this is exactly what he wanted (note the sarcasm). From what Chuuya can see, Dazai doesn’t look much happier about it either.

After they get in their groups, Dazai is the first one to walk up to Yosano. “What’s the first question?” He hums. 

She smiles at him, “What song was playing during me and Kouyou’s first kiss?”

Dazai nods then turns back to his team. How the hell is anyone supposed to know that?

“What’s the question shit face?” 

Dazai scowls at Chuuya. “Jesus. It’s: What song was playing during their first kiss?” 

Fukuzawa blinks, no help at all. 

“Oh, easy.” Chuuya says with a firm nod. “This is child’s play.”

“What is it then, smartass?” Dazai asks, raising an eyebrow skeptically. 

“Teenage Dream by Katy Perry, Of course.”

“Of course! How could I have forgotten?” Dazai’s voice drips in sarcasm making Chuuya roll his eyes. 

“I’ll go give the answer.” Fukuzawa cuts in, not wanting to be near the two of them any longer, already. 

“I’m pretty sure the universe hates me because why do you always need to be near me!” Chuuya spits.

“I bet I hate you in every universe.” Dazai says with a yawn, stretching his arms in front of him making Chuuya swat them away.

“Back off bandage waster. I know I hate you in every universe. Who would want to be stuck with someone like you?”

The brunette gasps, clutching his chest. “Oh ouch! You really hurt me with that one!”

Chuuya grabs Dazai’s wrist and yanks it back down. “I can’t tell if it’s the champagne or if you really just look that punchable.”

“Could you even reach–”

“Boys.” Fukuzawa cuts in with a sign. “We got the question right.” Chuuya smiles. “Now it’s: What was Yosano’s imaginary friend's name?” 

Chuuya frowns, he knows Kouyou’s. It was ‘Demon Snow’ and Chuuya’s was ‘Arahabaki’ but he would never have imagined Yosano to be the imaginary friend type.

“Easy. It’s Karl.” Dazai says with a satisfied smile on his face.

“The hell? Karl?” Chuuya scoffs. “That sounds like you just made that up right now. I bet that was your imaginary friend's name and you're just trying to get us to lose!”

“Why would I do that?!” Dazai says, clearly offended.

“Well, actually–” 

“Because you're an idiot!” Chuuya cuts Fukuzawa off. 

Dazai’s jaw goes slack. “My imaginary friend's name was Fedya, for your information.”

“If you guys listen–”

“Hah?! That’s even more stupid than Karl !” Chuuya yells, cutting Fukuzawa off yet again. 

“Oh yeah? What was—”

“Boys!!” Fukuzawa yells, startling the two into silence. He sighs before talking again. “Karl was actually Ranpo’s imaginary friend. Yosano’s was named Butterfly.”

Dazai scrunches his nose. Chuuya looks back and forth between the two. “You dumbass.” He murmurs to Dazai before walking over to the brides. 

“Butterfly was your imaginary friend.” Chuuya says to Yosano.

She smiles. “Who got that one? Dazai?”

Chuuya laughs. “No, your best friend is terrible at this game. It was your dad.”

Yosano hums. “I see. Okay, next question: Who said I love you first?”

Chuuya makes his way back to his team. “The question is–”

“That’s exactly what I told Ranpo. If he doesn’t grow the balls and ask Poe out, even I’ll be dating before him!” Dazai says and Fukuzawa chuckles.

Chuuya huffs. That’s a lie because who would ever want to date Dazai? “Asshole. Can you hear me or are you deaf?” Nothing. “Hey, I’m speaking to you!”

Dazai finally, fuck, turns to him. “Oh Chuuya, didn’t even see you there!”

Chuuya punches Dazai in the side. He’s not that short! “I’m so sick of you already!”

“You’re acting as if I don’t feel the exact same!” Dazai counters, rubbing at his side.

Fukuzawa backs up slowly. He needs a drink. 

Chuuya shoves Dazai, and Dazai shoves him right back.

“You really are trying to make us lose aren’t you?” The redhead growls as he shoves Dazai again.

At this point, heads are starting to turn. Ranpo knows he needs to get in the middle of this to stop it. He’s not about to let these two ruin anything else. 

Dazai bristles in anger. “I hate losing, so why would I intentionally sabotage us?!” 

Chuuya grabs onto Dazai and shakes his shoulders. “Great fucking question!”

“Ugh!” Dazai huffs, ramming his shoulder forward to knock Chuuya off balance. Really, it works but after tonight Dazai will have a few regrets. 

Chuuya loses balance, desperately reaching forward to grab Dazai again to catch himself. It was a terrible idea though, because Dazai loses balance too and they come crashing down on the edge of the flimsy dinner table. 

The table flips up from their weight, sending them to the floor at the same time the food goes flying through the air.

“Augh!” Kouyou yells as different foods and champagne covers her head to toe. 

Everyone gasps as they watch Kouyou turn red with anger. Nobody moves or makes a sound as they stare. 

Chuuya is basically suffocating under Dazai’s body weight trying to push him off to the point that he doesn’t even realize what happened yet. “Get off!”

Dazai uses his arms to lift himself up, hovering over the angry boy under him. He looks around and oh shit they fucked up. 

“Dazai!” Yosano yells as she runs up to her fiancee. “Shit, love are you okay?”

Kouyou keeps her mouth shut, eyes burning from tears that threaten to spill out. If she opens her mouth then she’s going to taste a mixture of chicken, champagne, potato salad, and who knows what else. 

Chuuya is about to yell at Dazai again to get up, but then he realizes something's off. He looks over and yep, he's dead. Kouyou looks down at him, glaring before she storms off. Her fiancee running after her.

“Shit.” Chuuya whispers, only loud enough that Dazai hears him. “This is all your fault.”

Dazai sighs. “I hate you.”

“I hate you more.”

“I told you having them both here was a bad idea!” Kouyou yells to her lover as she angrily throws some pajamas on after her shower. She just spent the last half hour sobbing because she couldn’t scrub the chicken smell out of her hair.

Yosano winces, “Dazai isn’t usually this immature. I could talk to him?”

Kouyou glares. “As if that would do anything.”

There’s a knock on their door. 

Yosano bites her lip, waiting for her lover to nod before she walks over to the door. Kouyou does.

As soon as Yosano opens their bedroom door, she’s met with two familiar faces. Her brother and dad. “Yes?”

“Let us in.” Ranpo says. 

Yosano steps aside as she watches Ranpo and Fukuzawa walk in. 

“We need to fix this.” He says.

“And how do you suggest we do that?” Yosano raises an eyebrow skeptically. They all know what fixing ‘this’ means. Obviously, Chuuya and Dazai. 

“They will ruin your guys' wedding if you don’t think of something.” Her father, Fukuzawa says. 

“Send Dazai home.” Kouyou says with a huff.

“Why not send Chuuya home, huh? Dazai’s her best friend.” Ranpo says defensively. 

Yosano pinches her nose as Kouyou scowls. “And Chuuya’s my brother.”

“ Ladies, please.” Yosano sighs and Ranpo stiffens. Fukuzawa stays stoic, albeit entertained.

“Akik–”

“No, Ranpo. Listen to me.” She cuts him off and he shuts his mouth.

“What do you suggest, love?” Kouyou says because she will not be sending her brother home during her own damn wedding. 

 “I suggest if we can’t separate them, then we push them together.” Yosano says with a nod.

Kouyou raises an eyebrow. “That sounds like a horrible idea.”

“Wait.” Ranpo says, smiling. “You mean have them get along.”

She nods and Kouyou still isn’t following along because that doesn’t sound possible. 

“We trick them.” Fukuzawa adds, he understands. 

She nods again. “We will play: matchmaker. As soon as we get them both to realize their feelings for each other then the rest is simple.”

Ranpo smiles even wider. “Flawless logic.”

Kouyou sighs, not thinking any of this is simple. “Well, if it means I won’t have to scrub chicken out of my hair again, then fine, I’m in.”

“I’m also in. I don’t think I can keep listening to the two bicker about how much they hate each other all month long.” Fukuzawa says.

“Alright, so let’s plot.” Yosano says, wrapping both of her arms around her lover's waist. 

The next day, Dazai spends his morning watching the sunrise on the beach. He has his favorite book on him ‘The Complete Guide to Suicide’. It’s a beautiful morning, if he could wake up every morning in Greece then maybe he would even try finding a new book to read. 

After the sun is fully risen he makes his way back towards the house. He needs to stop by the outside shower to rinse off the sand. 

“Oh, I know right? You should see the way he looks at him!” Ranpo yells once he sees Dazai start to head towards the shower.

Dazai pauses, ducking down behind a few bushes because he likes to eavesdrop.

“The way Chuuya looks at Dazai !” Fukuzawa yells back, winking at Ranpo.  Dazai rolls his eyes, still crouched down. The only way that Chuuya looks at him is with pure hatred and intentions of murder. 

“Yeah! Chuuya obviously likes Dazai. Like–” Ranpo pauses, scrunching his nose, “Like a lot!” Nailed it. 

Fukuzawa nods profusely. “I even heard him saying how much he wishes him and Dazai could FIX THINGS!” He emphasizes before continuing, “Poor Chuuya was so hung up over it last night.”

Dazai’s jaw goes slack. Did Chuuya really say that? Of course he wouldn’t say that to his face because the redhead has to be the most damn difficult person he’s ever fucking met. 

“I know!” Ranpo says, trying to see if Dazai is even still listening, he thinks this is going fantastic. “If only Dazai would be the bigger person and apologize so they can work it out!”

Dazai chuckles. Bigger person, haha how ironic. 

Chuuya’s standing in the kitchen making himself some avocado toast when he overhears his sister and her fiancee talking in the living room. 

“Exactly. I don’t understand how Chuuya can’t see it.” Yosano says and he pauses with the toast halfway up to his mouth. 

Doesn’t see what?

“Literally everyone else can see it.” Kouyou says and now Chuuya’s brain is short-circuiting.

“I know. Dazai is literally in love with him. He even told me the other night!” Yosano says, winking at her girlfriend when she notices her start to frown. Kouyou was never good at lying. 

Chuuya, on the other hand, doesn’t know whether to laugh or punch Dazai in the face.

“If only one of them would be a fucking man–” Kouyou winces as the words come out of her mouth. They practiced this, it shouldn’t be that hard. “And make up!”

“Exactly, and–”

The back door swings open and they both freeze. Did Chuuya leave? Are they successful?

“Chuuya~” Dazai says as he makes his way in the kitchen.

Kouyou and Yosano smile and leave the living room. Now they just have to wait and see what happens. 

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “Shitty Dazai, what do you want?”

Dazai leans against the counter Chuuya was making his toast on just a little bit ago. “Oh nothing, I just wanted to see what you were up to”

Chuuya raises an eyebrow.

Dazai stares at him. This is a lot harder than he was expecting. He sighs dramatically. “I was just reminiscing about the day we shared– erhm– almost a year ago. Oh the good ol’ days, am I right?” 

Chuuya blinks at him for a second before laughing right in the brunette’s face. “Oh god.”

Dazai scowls. “What?”

“Kouyou and Yosano got to you, huh?”

“No. What? I don’t know what you are talking about.” Dazai tilts his head.

Chuuya sighs. “Did you just ‘overhear’ them talk about how in love I am with you?”

Dazai scrunches his nose. “No– Ranpo and Fukuzawa— oh.”

Chuuya nods. “Can’t you see? They are trying to get us on good terms. It’s all some kind of stupid fucked up plan because– well, come on, that would never happen.”

Dazai nods absentmindedly. “You’re right. We could never get along.”

“Exactly.”

“Because you’re so idiotic.”

“Hey!”

Dazai shrugs. “Well, so what now?”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, grabbing his toast to be on his way. “Now nothing. Goodbye.”

“Chuuya! Dazai!”

Both of the boys turn before Chuuya could make it out of the kitchen. They are faced with Fukuzawa. Damn it. 

“Oh, hey Fukuzawa. What’s poppin?” Dazai winces, he’s stressed and when he’s stressed his brain doesn’t function right. Fukuzawa— his basically second dad— was trying to set him up with the one person he hates most! He needs some time to process and forgive!

Chuuya wants to punch Dazai. Stupid fucking idiot, bastard, good for nothing–

“I need you two to go get my frisbee. I lost it on the roof.”

Chuuya pauses, why does Fukuzawa have a frisbee? Why do they both need to go? His poor toast is never going to get eaten!

“You want both of us?” Chuuya asks, confused.

“Chuuya can go by himself.” Dazai needs time to sulk in his room.

“No!” A voice calls out from outside, Ranpo’s. 

Fukuzawa clears his throat. “I, uh, I need you both to. Stop asking questions.”

Chuuya groans while overdramatically setting his toast on the counter. “Okay. Fine.”

Dazai follows him out of the house. 

“I can’t believe he tricked me.” Dazai mumbles under his breath as he walks towards the shed for the ladder with Chuuya.

“I can’t believe you fell for it.” The redhead mumbles right back.

Dazai rolls his eyes. They were pretty convincing. Really! They should be actors because they had Dazai fooled. 

Chuuya would have fallen for it too if he was there, obviously. It’s only because Yosano is a terrible actor. That must have been what gave it away for the redhead. 

“Grab your fucking end of the ladder.” Chuuya snaps as he starts to drag his side out of the shed. This is stupid. So, so stupid. 

“Ugh. This is physical torture.” Dazai whines as he grabs the dirty ladder. It looks like it hasn’t been touched in centuries. 

Chuuya sighs. “If you were in the Mafia, you’d already be dead by now.”

Dazai gasps, offended. “I would probably be the Mafia boss, actually.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes as they shuffle back towards the house with the ladder. “Uh-huh.”

They get the ladder up against the side of the house. “You first bean pole.”

Dazai frowns, he’s glad this is a low-ceiling house or he would be making Chuuya go alone. He can’t do the whole heights thing.

He begins his climb, Chuuya right behind him. “You know, I don’t get why they want us together.”

Chuuya grabs Dazai’s outstretched hand as he finally steps onto the roof, wiping his hand on his shirt just to make the brunette scowl. “I get it. They want the wedding to go smoothly.” 

Dazai thinks about it for a second. Yeah, it makes sense. If he and Chuuya are at each other’s throats the whole time then the wedding is bound to catch on fire. 

Dazai picks up the frisbee that’s sitting on the edge of the roof. Fukuzawa has no hand eye coordination. Tsk. 

“It would never work.” Dazai hums. “We can barely stand each other for a few minutes as it is.”

Chuuya nods. That is very true. He would rather sit in a room with his parents and ex-boyfriend all day than have to stand next to Dazai for an hour. 

“Chuuya?” A voice calls from on the ground.

Chuuya and Dazai both stick their heads over the edge to see who’s calling the redhead.

Nevermind. Chuuya takes back what he said before because why is his parents standing there next to his ex?!

“Hey…” Shirase says, a little nervous to be here in front of Chuuya after almost a whole year away from each other. Chuuya looks as handsome as ever. 

“Mom. What just happened?” He asks, is he going delusional? Did Dazai poison him?

Dazai looks at Chuuya and then looks at the ground again. 

His mom smiles sheepishly, scratching the nape of her neck. “Oh, I just asked Shirase if he wanted to come for the wedding! He’s basically family, you know.”

Chuuya groans, but not loud enough for his parents or Shirase to hear it. Only Dazai can hear. “Okay, uh. I’ll be down later. I’m just— I’m busy right now.”

His mom giggles. “Oh don’t worry baby, we will show Shirase to his room.”

The two boys on the roof watch as Chuuya’s parents and ex walk away. 

“So, your fiance?” Dazai asks.

Chuuya scowls, almost pushing Dazai but remembering they are on a roof. He wants him gone, not dead. “No, he's my ex-fiance. There is a difference.”

“But you were wearing the ring.”

“Oh yeah, that was a lie.”

Dazai rolls his eyes.

“But,” Chuuya says and Dazai looks at him. Brown eyes meeting blue.

“What?”

Chuuya is going to regret this later. “Maybe they are right.”

Dazai pauses because he doesn’t know what they are talking about anymore. He blacked out as soon as he saw Chuuya’s fairly decent looking ex. “Yes?”

Chuuya’s brows furrow. “Shut up. Do you even know what I’m talking about?”

“No.”

“Thought so.” The redhead rolls his eyes. See? Idiot. “I’m talking about: the us.”

Dazai stares. “The…us?”

Chuuya nods, as if that makes any sense. Dazai is either going insane or Chuuya is. It’s probably the latter. 

“We need to fake date. It makes the most sense!” 

Dazai tilts his head. “Why?”

“Well, first, then everyone would lay off our asses. Second, then my parents would lay of mine about Shirase. Third, isn’t Sasaki your ex?”

Dazai nods.

“Okay… so then it would make her jealous. Don’t you want her back?”

Dazai nods again, finally understanding where this is going. Just one problem. “Everyone would have to be stupid to believe we are together.”

Chuuya smirks. “I think we could be pretty convincing.” 

Chuuya reaches out and grabs onto Dazai’s shirt collar. He yanks him down until they are eye level. Dazai audibly gulps as he stares wide-eyed into Chuuya’s ocean-blue eyes.

The brunette forgot how captivating they are.

Chuuya smirks as he looks down at Dazai’s lips. “I always did wonder what you taste like.”

Dazai’s breath gets caught in his throat. His tongue unintentionally licks his bottom lip as he stares down at Chuuya’s lips. Their faces are only a few inches apart. If he just leaned forward a little bit then–

“I– if you–”

Chuuya shoves Dazai back, not hard enough to make the brunette stumble, though. They are still on the roof. 

Dazai blinks. Mentally cursing the distance between him and Chuuya now. “What was that ?”

“Me proving to you that I can make it pretty convincing.” Chuuya says with a pointed look. Yeah, give him a gold star. He rocked that shit.

Dazai leans back as he clears his throat. “I guess this could be a good idea.”

Chuuya nods. “Hell yeah, it’s a good idea. I came up with it, bastard.”

“Shouldn’t you be calling me ‘lover’ now?” The brunette winks.

He gags. “Don’t push your luck.”

Chapter Text

Chuuya sighs to himself as he puts his tennis shoes on. They are all going out for a little tour of the town today, so he needs to put his walking shoes on. He will not get blisters! 

Yesterday, Dazai and him tried to work out a plan to make them look as convincing as possible. 

In the end they just started arguing and calling each other names, so today they will just have to improvise. This will either turn out to be a disaster or they will convince everyone.

Only the seven youngest are going on the walk around Greece. The four parents are staying home– well, Chuuya isn’t sure if Shirase is coming yet. He hopes Shirase has already gone back home to Japan if he’s being completely honest.

There’s a knock on his door. 

“Stop looking so stressed. Everything will be fine.” Yosano reasures her lover. Kouyou has been freaking out ever since yesterday because Shirase showed up. Yosano’s pretty sure Kouyou thinks Chuuya will run for the hills and miss the whole wedding. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Kouyou sighs as she finishes tying her shoe. “I just need to trust everything will go well.”

Yosano nods. “Exactly. Plus, we planted that tiny seed into both our boys' minds. So! That being said, we just wait and watch it flourish.” 

Kouyou nods. She still doesn’t believe that will end smoothly either. 

“Ready to walk the streets of Greece!” Ranpo says as he walks into the living room with Sasaki and Kunikida in step behind him. 

Yosano nods. “We are just waiting on Osamu and Chuuya—“

“No need to wait on us!” Dazai says as him and Chuuya walk in the living room. Both coming out of Chuuya’s bedroom, mind you. That did not go unnoticed by Kouyou or Yosano. 

They smile at each other. 

Dazai wraps his arm around Chuuya’s shoulder. “We are just so excited to take a walk around Greece! Aren’t we sweetheart?”

Chuuya fights the urge to rip Dazai off of him. They agreed on no pet names. It’s giving him PTSD from when they met in the coffee shop. 

Chuuya forces out a smile. “Yeah, can’t wait—“ He rubs his hand on Dazai’s chest. This idea sounded better yesterday. “babe.” Fuck this. 

Dazai’s beaming because now Chuuya’s forced to go along with his bullshit without punching him.

Everyone in the room freezes. Ranpo is a master detective and he can usually tell what’s right from wrong. But this? No, this he can’t figure out. Did their plotting work? 

Yosano and Kouyou exchange looks. If this worked out she better be getting the best fucking sex of her life. Kouyou had no faith in her. 

“Oh! Are you two an item?” Kunikida asks.

Dazai grinds his teeth together. Kuni-fucking-kida needs to mind his own damn business. He looks over at Sasaki instead to answer. “Why yes, yes we are.” Dazai says as he squeezes Chuuya tighter to his side. The redhead stiffens.

“Congratulations!” Sasaki says with a huge smile on her face. 

“Are we ready to leave?” Ranpo asks. 

“Wait!” A voice calls and everyone turns to the kitchen doorway. There stands Chuuya’s mom and ex, ugh. 

“Yes, mom?” Chuuya asks, shrinking into Dazai’s side. It’s very grounding right now because if Dazai wasn’t holding him down he would probably run. 

His mom stares at her son and that boy, wrapped up in each other. 

Shirase looks at the two, clearly mortified. 

“What’s this?” His mom asks. 

Chuuya looks right in Shirase’s eyes. “Oh, this? We are kinda a thing now, you know.” Nobody says anything so he awkwardly laughs before continuing on. Shitty Dazai is never any help. “We wanted to see where things go. Pick them up from where we left off that one day we met at the coffee shop. Just testing the waters.”

“Oh. But what about Shirase?” His mom says, eyes glistening with fresh tears. Fucking hell. 

Shirase waves his hand dismissively. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m happy for you two!” No he’s not. That’s a lie. “Don’t let me get in the way of anything.” 

Chuuya smiles, apologetically. He didn’t mean for Shirase to be caught up in all of this. He should have just stayed in Japan. “Thank you for understanding. Uh— did you want to come walk with us?” 

Shirase stiffens like he’s just been told his dog died. “No thanks. I’m okay really. I’ll just— stay here with your parents.”

Yosano nods. “Then we really should be on our way.” 

All of them have been walking for a good two hours now. Dazai is bored out of his mind. All they are looking at are a bunch of different half broken down temples, but Chuuya is in awe.

The two boys are walking behind everyone else.

“We need to make it more convincing.” Dazai says once they are all stopped at The Temple of Poseidon . 

Chuuya looks around, running his finger along his bottom lip in contemplation. “You’re right. I don’t think they believe us yet.”

Dazai juts out his chin, an idea popping in his head. “I know what we have to do and I am prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice.”

Chuuya looks at him, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “What did your shitty brain come up with?”

“Ah, ah ah.” Dazai says as he grabs Chuuya’s wrist to lead them towards one of the temple pillars. The one preferably close to everyone else so they can see. “Do you trust me?”

Chuuya follows Dazai as he gets dragged along by his wrist. “I guess.” He mumbles and Dazai pauses.

“Really?”

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “Ugh, don’t make a big deal out of it.”

Dazai turns away, smiling to himself. “Alright.”

Yosano tugs on Kouyou’s sleeve. “Aw, look at them holding hands.”

Kouyou squints her eyes as she watches them walk through the temple. “It looks like your friend is dragging Chuuya around.”

Yosano waves her hand dismissively. “Psh, semantics.”

“Er – yeah, okay.” Kouyou nods absentmindedly. 

Dazai looks back at everyone, they aren’t looking, but they will be from this show. They are standing right next to one of the pillars now. “Ready?”

Chuuya sighs dramatically for a few seconds before he finally settles on a ‘yeah’. He doesn’t know what’s about to happen, but whatever will make people believe, right?

Before he fully gets the word out of him Dazai is grabbing him by the shoulders and pushing him up against the pillar until his back is flush with it. His eyes widen when he sees Dazai’s face an inch away from him.

“The hell, Dazai?” Chuuya whispers, out of breath. 

Dazai pauses. He stands there staring into Chuuya’s eyes for a good thirty seconds just in case Chuuya has an objection, both of his hands on either side of the redhead’s head against the pillar. Once he notices Chuuya is waiting for him to move, he smirks. “I recall you wanting to know what I taste like.” The redhead’s cheeks flush pink. “Well, now’s your chance.”

Chuuya looks down at Dazai’s lips, wetting his own. It’s to prove to everyone they are a thing, right? Nothing more, so what's the harm? 

Chuuya reaches up and bunches Dazai’s collar in his fists, nodding. 

Without waiting any longer, both of them close the gap between them. They only need to make this convincing, so it doesn’t need to be too serious. 

Dazai’s lips are a lot softer than Chuuya had imagined, and their lips slot perfectly together like they have done this a million times. 

They begin to move against each other easily, and Chuuya tightens his grip on Dazai’s shirt.

Dazai’s breath gets caught in his throat as Chuuya deepens the kiss. For some odd reason, this kiss just feels right. The brunette moves his hands off the pillar to cup Chuuya’s face, tilting it up so he can get a better angle, and-

Oh my god. Chuuya doesn’t know why but this might just be the best kiss he’s ever had in his life . It feels like a breath of fresh air, like electricity shooting down his spine. He arches his back off the pillar until his chest is flush with Dazai’s.

“Oh my god, look!” Ranpo gasps and everyone turns their heads to look at him. “A stray cat and her babies!” 

Everyone looks down to where Ranpo is pointing and, awe, that’s the cutest thing they have ever seen! They all crouch down around them.

“Don’t touch them.” Kunikida says as he holds his arm out in front of everyone. ‘We can not disturb the circle of life.”

At this point, Chuuya’s arms are wrapped around Dazai’s neck, pulling him in tight and both of them are breathless. 

Dazai doesn’t have a lot of things running through his mind right now except one thing, that one thing is Chuuya. He wants to feel Chuuya, be closer , taste him more . Dazai opens his mouth to lick at the bottom of Chuuya’s lip, asking for access. 

Chuuya sucks in a breath through his nose, but opens his mouth easily. As soon as Dazai’s tongue enters his mouth he groans. Dazai swallows it quickly. 

Dazai taste good, like really fucking good. He tastes like coffee and chocolate. That’s probably because he was obnoxiously eating and sipping on it in Chuuya’s room this morning. 

They break away, mainly to catch their breaths. They stay only an inch apart as they look into each other’s eyes, hot air mingling between both of their lips. 

The tension as blue eye’s stare into brown is like fire crackling. Looking here into Chuuya’s eyes makes Dazai feel raw, open, and vulnerable. Something he doesn’t really mind since it’s with Chuuya.

Chuuya’s eyes drift away for a second to look at everyone else. He almost forgot they were even there with people. What he sees–

“Oh my fuck!” He shoves Dazai away from him, making Dazai stumble back. His cheeks are on fire. “No one was watching!”

Dazai blinks, trying to figure out what just happened before he looks over to see everyone’s backs towards them. Damn it. 

Chuuya groans, scrubbing his hands down his face. Idiot, stupid, shitty Dazai. “I can’t believe this.” He mumbles behind his hands.

Dazai bites his bottom lip, it’s swollen from their– more than faking it for a show– kiss and his mouth still tastes like Chuuya, but now it tastes like Chuuya for nothing . “Heh. Would you look at that?”

Chuuya drops his hands and glares at Dazai. “Remind me never to let you come up with any of the ideas.”

Kouyou turns around because where is her brother? He would love to see these kitties! What she sees when she turns around is a little odd, but shouldn’t be because: what’s new?

Chuuya is standing there, shaking Dazai looking very distraught, messy hair and all. Dazai’s smiling wide making little kissy faces at Chuuya. Chuuya’s face is two shades darker than his hair. 

Okay, so maybe it’s not the same as their usual bickering, it’s just confusing now.

Kouyou elbows her fiancee.

Yosano looks at her lover, but Kouyou isn’t looking at her. So she follows the girl's gaze to see Dazai and Chuuya all over each other. She smiles, humming satisfied. 

This is going so well. 

The next place they go to is a cute little restaurant for lunch. They sit Ranpo, Chuuya, Dazai on one side and the other four on the other side.

Dazai stares forward, glaring at Kunikida who has his arm wrapped around Sasaki. Everyone is in mid conversation with each other except for Dazai. Chuuya is actually facing the complete opposite way from him, talking to Ranpo.

“So, Dazai.” Kunikida eventually says. “I heard you and Saskai used to date.”

The brunette looks between the two. “Yes.”

Chuuya turns to listen to the conversion. 

“Doesn't that make you uncomfortable, Chuuya?” Kunikida asks.

Chuuya squints his eyes. Why is that even a question? “No, It doesn’t make me uncomfortable. Does it make you uncomfortable that they are exes ku-ni-ki-da?”

Dazai raises an eyebrow skeptically, waiting for Kunikida’s response. 

Kunikida tightens his grip around Sasaki and gives her a kiss on the forehead. “No, I’m perfectly fine with it. Besides, it’s not like they still like each other.”

Chuuya grins. “Of course not!”

The topics continue to change throughout lunch and Dazai wants to throw up from how territorial Kunikida really is. He won’t get his clammy hands off of her.

“Oh!” Dazai gasps and everyone turns their head towards him. “Chuuya, sweetheart, you have a little something right–” He rubs his finger against the redhead’s bottom lip. “There.” He says, satisfied with his work.

Chuuya clenches his teeth together as everyone looks at him for his reaction. “Thanks…babe.”

Dazai hums, leaning over and giving Chuuya a quick peck on the side of his head. “Anytime.”

Chuuya wants to kill him, and Kouyou is stunned. 

Kunikida scoffs, “Honey! Are you cold?”

“No–”

“Here, take my jacket. I know you love to wear my clothes.” He cuts Sasaki off, already ripping his clothes off.

Dazai squints his eyes before turning back to Chuuya. “Here!” He grabs Chuuya’s fork, filling it with mashed potatoes before shoving it in the redhead’s mouth. 

Chuuya glares at Dazai as he swallows the food. He is definitely punching the shit out of the idiot when they get home. 

“It’s working~” Yosano mumbles to her fiancee, Kouyou just rubs her temples with a sigh.

Kunikida huffs, running his fingers through Sasaki’s hair. “Baby, remember when we went on the dolphin tour boat trip? Wasn’t that so romantic ?!”

Sasaki smiles, strained, but still smiles. “Yeah, super romantic.”

Dazai bites his lip. That was a good one. He definitely has the one up on Dazai there. He has only been ‘with’ Chuuya for not even a day. 

Chuuya looks back and forth between the two men, hopefully it’s over. 

Dazai turns towards him, grinning. Nope, not over.

“Would you look at that?” Dazai’s long skinny fingers come towards Chuuya’s face, and the redhead is about to snap. Dazai reaches up to grab an eyelash that’s sitting right under Chuuya’s left eye. Instead he ends up stabbing Chuuya in the eye making the redhead flinch back. Whoops. No turning back now. 

“Dazai–”

“Wait!” He’s almost got it. The brunette holds the redhead still, using his finger to grab the damn eyelash because he’s romantic, damn it!

“Got it!” He holds out the tiny lash and Chuuya leans forward to look at it. One eye closed because it got fucking stabbed.

“Why–?”

“Blow on it and make a wish!” Dazai smiles, yeah, he knows he’s cute. 

Chuuya frowns, frustrated that he even has to play along with this idiot. He closes his other eye too and makes a wish before blowing. 

That wish being: please end my misery!

Yosano and Ranpo exchange looks, they need to start a matchmaking business. 

Kunikida purses his lips. “Is there–”

“Doppo.” Sasaki says, exasperated. “I’m fine, thank you.” She leans over and gives him a kiss on the lips. He smiles, making eye contact with Dazai.

Dazai scowls and turns to Chuuya, about to open his mouth.

“No!” Chuuya cuts him off, whoops. “I mean, uh–”

“Okay! Should we get the check?” Kouyou says, waving down their waitress. She can’t bear to watch this alpha male dominance thing Kunikida and Dazai got going on right now.

Ranpo frowns. It was just getting good.

After they pay, all of them begin their walk home. Chuuya grabs Dazai’s arm to make the brunette slow down . 

Dazai looks down to where they are touching. “Did you want to hold hands sweetheart? All you had to do was— ouch !”

They are far enough in the back for no one to notice Chuuya just elbow the shit out of Dazai’s side. “No idiot. Of course I don’t want to hold your hand.”

Dazai frowns. “Jesus. Are you getting stronger each time you abuse me?” 

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “You just pissed me off extra today.”

“Why? We are supposed to act like we like each other.” 

The redhead scowls. “Is that really how you act when you like someone?”

Dazai is silent for a second as they continue walking at a slower pace behind everyone else. No, it’s definitely not how he would treat someone he really loves. This is different though, it’s fake. “I don’t see the point in that if nothing will come out of this in the end.”

Chuuya groans. “You aren’t making it believable. How are you supposed to win Sasaki over if you’re more interested in her boyfriend?” 

Dazai gasps. That’s the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. “I just don’t like the man.”

“Clearly.” He mumbles. 

“How do you want to go about this?” 

Chuuya thinks about it. That’s a great question. He doesn’t want to do this at all anymore, but apparently everyone is dumb enough to fall for it. “Just—“ he sighs. “I’ll start coming up with ideas. Give me a damn day or two.”

The brunette nods. That works for him. If he were to end up choosing again, he’d probably just kiss the redhead again. That seemed to be the most ‘real’ thing about this whole fake dating skit anyways. 

They make it back, everyone heading to their rooms to shower. 

Dazai unwraps his bandages so he can take his own without having the disgusting feeling of wet medical tape wrapped around his arms. 

Shit would be so much easier if he wasn’t a naïve attention seeking child back then to make him look like this . 

That’s what his dad called him at least. 

He turns his arms, looking at each little scar littered across them. 

It started ten years ago… ten years ago when his mom—

There’s a knock on his door. Shit . He looks around frantically. 

“Who is it?” He says cheerfully, trying to find something to cover up. 

“It’s me, Osamu.” Yosano says on the other end of his bedroom door. 

Oh.

He walks over, opening the door to let her in. “What’s up?”

She walks in, unbothered by his arms. She was there through the whole thing. She stitched him back up so none of it bothers her. 

Yosano is the only person Dazai has trusted to see his arms. The last time he tried to trust someone— Sasaki— she told him it was easier for everyone if he just kept the bandages on, and then she cheated on him. 

“Just wanted to see how you’re holding up.” She says, rocking back and forth on her heels. 

Dazai smiles. “I’m just fine. No need to worry about me, it’s literally your wedding month. How are you feeling?”

She laughs. “I’m more than ready. Sometimes I just want to skip the whole wedding and elope right now.”

Dazai nods, that would save him a lot of trouble if she did that. “You two are good for each other.”

She grins. “If you and Chuuya end up working out then we would be family!”

He blinks at her, a fake smile on his lips. “Oh, how great would that be…”

She shakes her head. “But seriously, how’s shit with your dad holding up?”

He rolls his eyes, actually wanting to go back to the ‘marrying Chuuya’ topic instead of this. “I’ve been ignoring him since I got here.”

“He still tryna get you in med school?”

He nods. “He thinks you’ll convince me.”

“Tell him to fuck off.” 

Dazai laughs. “I actually like having a roof over my head, thank you very much.”

Yosano hums. tilting her head. “If you ever need me to talk some sense into him, I will.”

“Trust me, I know you will.”

“Good! Now get in the shower. You stink and I want us to have a movie night tonight.” She says patting his back before heading back for the door. 

He rolls his eyes. “It’s not my fault you made me walk the whole country today. I don’t do exercise like that!”

“Mm, I know!”

An hour later he’s all wrapped up again and squeaky clean. He leaves his room to find Chuuya, Kouyou, and Yosano on the couch already. 

“You’re late.” Chuuya mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Dazai rolls his eyes. Chuuya’s here too, damn it. 

Yosano scrunches her nose as Dazai plops down on the couch between Chuuya and her. They were doing fine all day so why do they look like they hate each other again right now?

“So, what are we watching?” Dazai asks as he watches Kouyou scroll through the options.

Yosano grins. “Horror.”

Dazai can feel Chuuya stiffen next to him and he smiles. “Does Chuuya not like horror?”

Chuuya sniffs, “I do! It’s my favorite.”

Dazai hums. “Then let's watch Talk To Me.”

Chuuya glares up at Dazai. “I don’t trust your judgment. Let someone else pick.”

“I think that’s a great idea!” Yosano says as she watches Kouyou type the title in the search bar.

Once they click play the two girls go to the kitchen to grab snacks. 

“So, what’s your marvelous plan? Because I’m pretty sure they think you hate me again.” Dazai says with a pointed look.

Chuuya looks over at the TV screen, then back at Dazai. “Hold me.”

Dazai squints his eyes, looking down into the deep ocean pools. Is that it?

“Just–” he clicks his tongue on the roof of the mouth. “hold you?”

Chuuya nods. “We want to make it believable right?” It’s definitely not because Chuuya is scared at all. Nope!

Dazai sighs, but opens his arms anyway for Chuuya.

“Really?” Chuuya asks, tilting his head.

Dazai nods. “Is that not what you just suggested?”

The redhead bites his lip. “I didn’t think you’d agree.” He mumbles.

“Then do you not want to?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Chuyya shakes his head, scooting closer to wrap his arms around Dazai, laying his head against the brunette’s side. “We have to make it look believable.”

Dazai wraps his arms around Chuuya. It’s been almost a year since he’s held Chuuya like this. It feels… familiar. It’s not that bad.

The girls come back with a handful of snacks. They pause a few feet from the couch.

“What?” Chuuya scowls from in Dazai’s arms, squeezing the brunette tighter.

Kouyou lifts an eyebrow, skeptical of the display.

Yosano grins. “Nothing, you two are just so cute.”

They sit next to the boys, passing snacks around. 

Almost every few minutes the redhead is burying his face farther into Dazai. 

Dazai doesn’t know exactly how to feel about it. Is this what it could have been like if Chuuya never walked out that day? 

Chuuya gasps, tightening his death grip around Dazai making the brunette wheeze from the lack of air in his lungs. The movie isn’t even that scary.

Kouyou looks over at her brother. She knows how badly he hates horror movies. Dazai seems to help though. He will make stupid comments after something scary to ease her brother’s nerves. It actually makes Chuuya laugh. She hasn’t heard him laugh like this in a really long time. It’s nice.

“Chuuya.” Dazai mutters under his breath. “You aren’t even watching anymore.”

The redhead’s head is now laying in his lap, facing away from the TV screen with his eyes closed.

Chuuya mumbles something ineligible. Dazai smiles, running his fingers through the fiery hair. 

“Goodnight.”

Once the movie ends Yosano looks down at the snoring redhead on Dazai. Her hands are on her hips as she clicks her tongue. “Who’s gonna wake him up?”

Kouyou tilts her head. She is definitely not going to be the one to do it. Chuuya gets grumpy when people wake him up.

“No.” Dazai says in a low voice. “I’ll just carry him to his room. It’s fine.”

A smile creeps up on Yosano’s face. “I think that’s a great idea.”

It takes Dazai a good five minutes to shuffle out from under the drooling boy without waking him. 

Once he gets out he picks Chuuya up in a bridal style. He scrunches his nose at the warm feeling he gets in his chest when Chuuya’s arms subconsciously wrap around his neck. The girls aren’t even around anymore, so why is Dazai doing this?

It’s not like he can use the excuse that this is for their plan. He could just wake Chuuya up and leave, but no. Here he is slowly walking towards the other boys room to set him down in bed without disturbing his sleep.

Once he makes it in the room he slowly crouches down by the bed, setting Chuuya down and pulling the covers over him. Chuuya huffs out a breath and curls up, hugging a pillow.

Dazai smiles. 

The redhead isn’t so bad when he has his mouth shut, and his eyes. Those eyes are always glaring at Dazai or pulling him into some sort of trance. A sleeping Chuuya is far easier to deal with. 

The brunette uses his index finger to wipe a red strand out of Chuuya’s face. 

He wipes the smile off his face, frowning. “I hate you.” He whispers and turns to leave. 

He can’t. 

Chapter Text

Chuuya doesn’t remember going to his bed last night, nor does he remember getting under the covers. He doesn’t have much time to think about that because he hears a knock on his door.

He scowls, slipping out of bed because he literally just woke up. If this is Dazai and his shitty personality then Chuuya might go off on him for making him get up so early in the morning. 

He swings the door open. “Dazai I swear to g–”

He blinks. That’s definitely not Dazai. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

Chuuya bites his lip. This is the first time he and Shirase have been alone in– what, almost a whole year now? The redhead tried to flatten his ruffled hair, stepping aside to let Shirase in.

“No, you’re fine.” He mumbles, a little shocked this is happening right now. 

Shirase looks around before deciding to stay standing, he isn’t sure how far he will get with this.

“So what’s up?” Chuuya asks, brushing his hair while sitting on the edge of his bed.

“I just wanted to know how you’ve been doing.” His ex-fiance says. 

Chuuya frowns. “I’ve been good.”

“How’s med school?”

Chuuya tongues the back of his canines. That’s a question he doesn’t want to answer. “Shirase.” He says instead. “Why are you actually here?”

The silver haired boy sighs. “Are you with Dazai, seriously Chuuya?”

Chuuya blinks. Why is that so hard for him to believe? He doesn’t even know Dazai. “Yeah. I am with Dazai, seriously .” He bristles in defense. “What’s it to you?”

Shirase shakes his head. “I want us to try again. You know how amazing we were together.”

He furrows his brows. “Dazai’s good to me.”

“Better than I was?”

Now, Shirase wasn’t bad. Their relationship was actually good if Chuuya was being honest. But that’s why he left . It was too consistent, too good, and so monotone. They did the same thing every day, they never fought, and the sex life was, well, it wasn’t mind blowing. 

“We argue,” Chuuya sighs. “A lot, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t good. I really like what I got going on with him.” It’s the fact that he and Dazai aren’t even together that makes what he’s saying laughable. He doesn’t really like the guy, but they seem to be getting better.

Shirase nods. “I see.”

“I’m sorry my parents dragged you here.” Chuuya says genuinely. It was a shit move from his parents. Especially since they knew forever ago Chuuya was trying to move on.

Shirase shakes his head, a small, sad smile on his lips. “It’s fine. I’m fine, really. I love your parents.”

The redhead nods. “You were always so close with them.”

“They are like family to me, you all are.” Chuuya looks away as Shirase continues. “You’ll always be like family to me Chuuya.”

He gets a twinge of guilt in his stomach. Should he really have left Shirase for the reasons he did? Doesn’t everyone want a perfect life? White picket fence, highschool sweetheart, babies and happy endings…right? He just felt stuck.

“You will be too, you know,” Chuuya mutters, still not looking Shirase in the eyes.

Shirase lights up. He loves Chuuya. Like: loves him with all his heart. Nothing will ever change that, but if the redhead doesn’t feel the same then he’s not going to force anything. Chuuya deserves the life that he wants whether that be with or without Shirase in it.

The silver-haired boy clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Well, since I bothered you this early, how about I make you some breakfast? Like old times.”

Chuuya finally looks up, in his ex-lovers eyes. “Yeah, I’d like that.” He smiles.

Dazai wakes up, stretching his arms. He must have slept weirdly because his shoulder hurts.

“Ugh.” He groans, scrubbing his hands down his face. He hates waking up. Especially since recently, he’s been getting up way earlier than he would ever call reasonable. He needs a coffee.

Dazai hauls himself out of bed, dragging himself towards the kitchen. 

Once he makes it there, he stops at the entrance that connects the living room to the kitchen, staring at the sight in front of him.

First, he sees Chuuya’s parents looking in from the windows, smiling wide at the scene playing in the kitchen.

It’s fucking Chuuya sitting on the counter, hair pulled up in a messy ponytail next to Shirase as he makes the redhead pancakes. Fucking pancakes. 

Dazai’s eye twitches as he watches Shirase pick up a few chocolate chips and set them in Chuuya’s mouth. 

Gross.

Chuuya laughs at something Shirase says, head leaning back against the kitchen cabinet, freckled nose scrunching in a way that makes him look so damn happy. 

Why did Chuuya even leave Shirase in the first place?

Dazai bites the inside of his cheek hard. Why is this even getting to him at all? He literally could care fucking less. He hates Chuuya.

He turns on his heels, forgetting about the coffee altogether.

He just needs to get some air to clear his head. He needs to leave this shitty house with these shitty people.

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” A voice calls from behind him. He whips around to see Sasaki leaning against the house next to the front door on the porch. Maybe he should have just gone to his room. 

“Nothing.” He mutters. “Where’s your plus one?” He asks, looking around to see Kunikida nowhere in sight. 

Sasaki giggles, pushing herself off the wall. “He’s down by the beach. Where’s your plus one?” She mimics. 

Dazai bites his lip. “Eating breakfast–” He scrunches his nose, “with Shirase.”

“Jealous?” She asks, tilting her head and walking towards him slowly.

He shakes his head, laughing. “No, I trust him.” He says, remembering how shocked he was to know that Chuuya trusted him the other day. 

She nods. “So, you guys are exclusive?” She raises an eyebrow.

Dazai blinks. What kind of question is that? Is she jealous or is he just reading this wrong? “What makes you ask that?”

She bites her lip. “Oh, I don’t know–” A pause. “You two don’t seem very into each other.” She smirks. 

Dazai flinches back like she’s not spot on right now. Because she is… he can’t stand the redhead. Really. 

“Oh?” Is all he can get out.

She leans in and raises to her tip toes till she’s only a few inches from his face. “I’m just saying, it looks fake, but if it’s not then good for you two.”

Dazai swallows. Shit, are they really that bad at this? Chuuya was supposed to fix it and make it look real. 

Of course it looks fake if Chuuya’s all heart eyes at his ex-fiance. 

She leans back. “Well, I should go find Doppo now.”

All he can do is nod. 

Chuuya spends the majority of his day being stuck with Shirase and his parents. After breakfast, they decided to show up and join them. 

He wanted to leave more with every hour extra he got stuck with them.  

“So, baby—“ His mom starts as they sit by the pool. He groans. 

“I was just wondering,” she frowns, “is it really a good idea to date someone new when you have someone so perfect already?”

Shirase and Chuuya look at each other from the corner of their eyes, “Mom.” He takes a deep breath, “I don’t need you meddling your way into my love life.”

“Your mother loves you, son.” His dad says, “She knows what’s best for you.”

Chuuya bites his lip, “You guys barely even know Dazai.” 

“What we do know is you don’t even call him by his given name.” She frowns, “And he’s— older.” 

Chuuya scowls, and Shirase looks uncomfortable. “He’s twenty-six, mom. Only by four years.” 

She shakes her head, “Shirase is twenty-two.”

Shirase opens his mouth, but she puts her hand up to shush him. “Just think before you get yourself into that mess.”

She says it as if it’s something distasteful in her mouth; she’s always been this way. 

“There’s nothing messy about it at all.” He says with a nod, even though it’s actually very messy if he thinks about it. 

The rest of the day he avoids the topic of Dazai at all around his family and ex. It just brings up too much tension and he doesn’t have the patience for that.

An hour later, Chuuya takes a deep breath as he stands outside Dazai’s door, working up the energy to knock. 

Right before his knuckles hit the wood, the door flings open.  

“Oh,” Chuuya whispered as Dazai scrunched his nose. 

“What do you want?” 

Chuuya scoffs. “Is that any way to treat your boyfriend? ” He smirks. 

Dazai rolls his eyes. “You can cut the act. No one's watching.” 

“What’s up your ass today?” The redhead asks as he pushes past Dazai to go into the brunette’s room. 

“Real question is who’s up yours,” Dazai mutters under his breath. 

Not quite enough though, Chuuya heard him. 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

Dazai clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, sitting on the edge of his bed as he watches Chuuya get comfortable like he’s about to stay in here for a while. 

“What are you doing here?” Dazai asks instead. He’s good at ignoring questions he doesn’t like to answer. 

Chuuya fluffs Dazai’s pillow. “We need to come up with some better ideas. I think not everyone is falling for it.” Chuuya remembers his conversation with Shirase this morning; he’s pretty positive the boy doesn’t believe it.

Dazai rolls his eyes. “I wonder why.”

“Dazai.” Chuuya snaps. “Cut the shit and tell me what your problem is.”

“Well, I don’t see how anyone can fall for it when your tongue deep in your ex-fiancé!” Dazai says, a little louder than he intended. 

Chuuya stiffens, anger starting to boil his blood. “It was not in him!”

Dazai scoffs, throwing his arms up in distaste. “Coulda fooled me.”

Chuuya sputters, confused how Dazai could even get mad about that if he wanted to get back with Sasaki anyway. 

“What I do doesn’t matter. We aren’t actually together.” Chuuya says, jutting his chin out. 

Dazai tilts his head, smiling like the devil. “You’re right, we aren’t. Why are we even faking it anyway? We should just tell them we lied the whole time.”

Dazai doesn’t know how anyone could want to date Chuuya. It sounds draining.

Chuuya clenches his teeth. “We are doing this for Yosano and my sister.” He takes a deep breath, “And didn’t you want to make Sasaki jealous anyway?” 

Dazai’s lip twitches at the memory of Sasaki a few inches from his face. “If we want to make her jealous, then we need to try harder.”

Chuuya’s jaw goes slack. Why the hell is Dazai so frustrating!? “So what the hell do you want to do because that’s what I came in here to talk about, but you got all pissy!”

“You are the one all pissy right now, Chuuya.”

The redhead sighs, rubbing at his temples. “So how do you want to make this more believable?”

He thought Dazai and him were making progress yesterday, but apparently, he thought wrong. Dazai is impossible! 

The brunette looks down, playing with the covers. “I thought you were coming up with that.”

Chuuya bites his lip. “The kiss was a good idea,” he mumbles, cheeks heating up at the memory. Good thing Dazai is looking down. “Then the movie was good too.”

Dazai nods to himself. Those were pretty realistic. 

“Your dominance fight with Kunikida made it look fake.” 

Dazai gasps, “It wasn’t a fight for dominance. I already know I’m superior.” 

Chuuya scrunches his nose. This idiot. “Don’t do that again.”

Dazai rolls his eyes, “What the hell am I supposed to do? You won’t let me prove myself to them, and you won’t let me pick anything in this ‘relationship’!” Dazai huffs, “What? Do you want me to just bend you over on the kitchen counter and fuck you senseless in front of them–!”

Chuuya screeches, hiding his face that’s surly redder than his hair. “You can’t just say shit like that!!”

Dazai looks up at Chuuya, and oh, he smiles. “What?” he teases. “Wouldn’t that help prove ourselves?”

He leans closer to Chuuya, making the redheads' eyes widen. “I could grab you by the hair, bend you over and slide my cock into that tight ass of–”

“Oh my god! Stop it!” Chuuya shakes his head, heart rate picking up. How annoying. “I can’t stand you!”

Dazai laughs. He can’t tell if a flustered Chuuya or an angrily little Chuuya is more entertaining. 

Chuuya kicks him and Dazai puts his arms up in surrender. “Okay, okay. That will be our last option.”

“It won’t be an option at all!”

Dazai nods, “But what I’m getting at is the more touchy we are the better?”

Chuuya shrugs, “Maybe. Tomorrow is cake tasting with the girls, so we’ll just—” He gestures with his hands. “You know.”

“Not really—“

“Shut up.”

Dazai nods. He’ll figure something out. 

“Sasaki thinks we are faking it,” Dazai adds. 

Chuuya chuckles. “Doesn’t everyone.”

Dazai scowls, a little offended. “Which is all your fault.”

Chuuya furrows his brows. “Shut the hell up. It’s not the easiest when I have to fake date you.”

The brunette flinches back like he just got shot. “Everyone would love the chance to be with me.” 

“Cocky much,” Chuuya says dryly. 

Dazai’s eye twitches, irritated. When he’s irritated he says things he doesn’t mean. “I can’t wait till this wedding is over, then I never have to see you or pretend to care about you again!” 

Chuuya flings Dazai’s blanket off of him. Stupid idiot bastard.

Chuuya isn’t even going to question why that hurts so much right now. 

 “I am counting down the days!” He says as he jumps up. 

And to think, he was foolish to believe him and Dazai were getting somewhere. 

Dazai bunches his fists in the covers, “Good, so am I!” 

Chuuya’s blood boils. “I HATE — mph—“  you.

Dazai covers his mouth because- fuck Chuuya’s loud. He doesn’t want to blow their cover only a few days in. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Dazai whisper-snaps; hand still covering Chuuya’s mouth. Chuuya sucks in air sharply through his nostrils. “Are you stupid?”

Chuuya makes an ineligible noise against Dazai’s hand because… yeah he needs to calm down. 

Dazai keeps his hand over Chuuya’s mouth, the blue eyes staring straight into brown. Dazai’s chest pounds from how heavy Chuuya’s gaze feels. 

“You done?” He whispers, a little breathless. 

Chuuya closes his eyes, nodding with Dazai’s hand still there.  

Dazai removes his hand, sighing. “Be fucking careful.”

Chuuya crosses his arms over his chest, looking down, a little embarrassed for his outburst. “Why do you even care? You wanted to end—“ he gestures his hand out, “this just a little bit ago.” 

Dazai nods, “But if we make it look like we really love each other then Sasaki won’t think it’s fake—“ Chuuya opens his mouth, but Dazai continues.  “and she will definitely want me back once she realizes how great of a boyfriend I can be.” 

Chuuya scowls, “Why do you want to go back to her so bad anyway?” He mumbles under his breath. 

Dazai sighs, because he didn’t hear Chuuya. “Look, we will just get this month over with, and be done with each other.” 

Chuuya clenches his teeth together but nods anyway. 

“See you tomorrow.” The redhead spits as he turns on his heels to leave Dazai’s room. 

The door shuts and Dazai sits there staring at it, “Goodnight.” He whispers to no one. 

Chapter Text

“What?!” Both Dazai and Chuuya all but cry in unison. 

Are you fucking kidding me. 

Yosano tilts her head, “I’m sorry, if Ozaki wasn’t throwing up then we would both come with you.”

“Why can’t you come?” Dazai asks, he will get on his knees and beg. He doesn’t want to be alone with Chuuya. Especially wedding cake tasting. 

Yosano rolls her eyes, “I’m not going to leave my future wife alone when she’s sick to go eat cake.” She shrugs, “Plus, I trust your guys' judgment.”

Chuuya scoffs, “You trust this idiot?” He whispers under his breath. She can't hear it, but Dazai sure can because he’s standing next to the redhead. 

Dazai smiles, “Of course, you can trust us!”

She sighs, glad both of them finally realize they are meant for each other. It helps relieve her of some of the stress that’s been piling up for this wedding. 

“I really appreciate you guys, seriously.” 

Chuuya clenches his teeth, “What else would your best men be for?” He forced a smile.

“I knew we could count on you guys!”

And that’s how Chuuya ended up standing here in front of this wedding cake-tasting shop with the one person he hates. 

He really did think he and Dazai were getting somewhere two days ago, but the brunette proved they weren’t. 

“I can’t believe I’m stuck here with you,” Chuuya mutters. 

Dazai rolls his eyes, “When we agreed to fake dating I was under the impression there would be people present to witness it.”

They begin their walk through the front doors. “At least I don’t have to pretend to like you while we are here.” 

“Welcome in!” A cheerful lady says as she stumbles over to them. “Are you two the lovely soon-to-be weds here to taste our cakes?”

Dazai barks out a laugh making Chuuya flinch at the loud obnoxious noise. 

The lady's face contorted from happy to confused. 

“No,” Chuuya says with a smile. “We are here for my sister's wedding cake.” 

“Oh!” Her cheeks pinken. “Well, I’m Higuchi, follow me this way.” She turns on her heels, quickly walking towards a room in the back. 

“It’s been just so busy this month.” She says as she weaves into one of the rooms with 5 different mini cakes set up on the table. “Cupid is coming for everyone, huh!” She turns to them, a huge smile on her face.

Dazai grins and Chuuya chooses to ignore that. “So these are the cakes?” He asks instead. 

She hums, nodding “I’m so sorry this isn’t that put together. I just have so many appointments and things to do!” Higuchi rubs at her temples, clearly stressed. “But I picked our top five selling flavors and if you need me I’ll be right out front."

Chuuya looks at the array of cakes lined up on the table. “Thank you, we really appreciate it.”

She blushes, “Oh, it’s my pleasure.”

Dazai tilts his head, an amused smile across his lips. 

“We will give you a holler if we need anything, but first, are there any nuts in these?” Chuuya says, walking towards the cakes. 

“No sir, I was given strict instructions that there couldn’t be any nuts in them.”

Chuuya nods, “Thank you.”

She leaves and Dazai sighs, “If you want to fuck her just say that.”

“Hah?!” The redhead is very tempted to throw one of these cakes at Dazai. “First of all, I hate you,” The brunette nods, “and second of all, I like men.” 

Dazai nods again. “Yeah, I’d know—“

“The hell is that supposed to—“

“Cause you and Shirase can’t keep your tongues to yourself.” Dazai finishes, cutting the boy off, of course. 

Chuuya’s eye twitches, he’s this fucking close to ending their agreement. “Can we just get this over with?”

Dazai glares at the cake; Chuuya didn’t deny it. No fun. 

The redhead hums as he walks around the other side of the table and bends over to look at the flavors. Red Velvet, French Vanilla, Dark Chocolate, Lemon, and—

“Chuuya doesn’t need to bend over to see them,” Dazai chirps, “He’s already at eye level!”

Chuuya’s head snaps up, picking up a fork and shoving it into the lemon cake. He stomps over to Dazai, who takes a step back. “Heh, just kidd— mph.”

“How’s that one taste?” Chuuya asks with a tilt of his head and a smirk on his lips. That will keep the asshole quiet. 

Dazai contorts his face into disgust and he works to swallow the cake, “I hate lemon.”

“Oh, and I hate you.” Chuuya walks around and gets a new fork to try the lemon cake as well. It’s very tart. 

“Chuuya’s mean,” Dazai whines as he scans the table for a new flavor. Chocolate.

Chuuya grins as he looks up at Dazai, “What? You can’t handle what I put in your mouth?”

The brunette chokes on the chocolate cake, slamming his fist into his chest so he can just breathe. Chuuya grins wider.

After Dazai finally gains his composure again, “I can handle a lot more than you think, Chuuya.” Dazai looks the redhead in front of him up and down before continuing, “So, I’d watch it before you get yourself in trouble."

Chuuya’s eyes widen, “Jesus fuck.” He mumbles looking down at the cake. “Just, eat the cake.”

Dazai smiles at the way Chuuya’s ears pinken. The redhead won’t try that on him again. 

Chuuya shoves the french vanilla in his mouth, chewing angrily. Stupid bastard. 

This one’s pretty good. Chuuya hums in satisfaction, catching Dazai’s attention. 

“I want to try.” Dazai reaches over the table and wipes some frosting off the bottom of Chuuya’s lip.

Chuuya’s face burns as he watches Dazai look him in the eyes while sucking on his frosting covered finger, swirling his tongue around it. 

“You—“ His stomach flips as Dazai pops his finger out of his mouth.

“That one is good.” He nods, looking away from Chuuya to try the next cake like he didn’t just do that. 

Chuuya scrunches his nose, clearing his throat. “Which flavor next?” He says, a little breathless, but no one needs to know. 

Dazai smiles, “I’ll try the red velvet.” He takes a forkful into his mouth, making sure to pull the fork down as he drags it out of his mouth so some frosting gets on his lips. 

“Want to try some?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Chuuya’s eyes dart left, right, to the cake, and back to Dazai. 

This is so stupid. So, so stupid. 

Dazai smirks as he watches Chuuya get flustered. What he wasn’t expecting was the redhead to reach over the cake, yank Dazai in by the t-shirt aggressively, and slam their mouths together. He yelps when he feels teeth scrape at his bottom lip, feeling the other suck the frosting off.  

Dazai’s eyes flutter shut; heart pounding against his rib cage. 

The brunette makes another surprised noise in the back of his throat as Chuuya takes the privilege of running his tongue between his lips to get one last taste.

Chuuya tugs on Dazai’s lip between his teeth as he leans away, letting go of it with a satisfied hmm. 

Dazai blinks his eyes open, still processing what just happened but also mourning the loss of contact.  

The boys face is a bright shade of pink when he looks up at Dazai again. “Tastes—wha,” he gasps, getting cut off as Dazai pulls him back in over the table.

His hand drops to catch himself on the table, and he can’t tell what cake his hand landed in because now Dazai’s tongue is practically down his throat.

The redhead groans as he leans forward to try and deepen their kiss, stupid table in the way. 

Now that he’s kissing Dazai all over again, he’s remembering their kiss the other day. How breathless that made him feel. This kiss is just as amazing as the last except this time hungrier, more frantic like if they don’t kiss they might die. 

“Table.” Chuuya says, muffled against Dazai’s lips. 

The brunette smiles against him, knowing what he means. Dazai breaks their kiss— earning an unsatisfied huff from the redhead— before he reaches for the other boy's wrist pulling him alone the length of the table. 

They stumble the last few steps right into each other’s arms, getting rid of any distance that was between them.

Chuuya wraps his arms around Dazai’s neck to pull the tall boy down a little more to reach better. His hand that ended up having french vanilla cake on it gets in the brunette's hair. 

Dazai hums, bending down and breaking their kiss to lift Chuuya up by the waist onto the edge of the table. The redhead lets out a surprised gasp that Dazai easily eats up as he crashes their lips back together. They are a mess but he really could care less. 

All that matters right now is the fact he’s kissing Chuuya and it feels good. He’s breathless and light headed. If the shorter boy keeps kissing him like this then he’s not sure he has control over the things he wants to do next.

Chuuya arches his back as he feels electricity running straight down to the pit of his stomach. All that’s running through his mind is that this is a bad idea. But why does such a bad idea make him feel so good right now? 

“You’re a mess.” Dazai whisper’s as he continuously gives the redhead little pecks, digging his long fingers into auburn hair and giving it a gentle tug.

“Don’t care—“ Chuuya groans back, his deep needy voice sending a shiver down Dazai’s spine. 

Dazai’s hands drift down to wrap his hands over the side of Chuuya’s neck. He can feel the other’s pulse beating rapidly, and the brunette satisfies in knowing he’s making Chuuya just as crazy as the redhead makes him. And, somehow there’s some frosting up there too. 

Now that the brunette is in this mindset he’s wondering what it would be like to lick frosting off other parts of the boy in front of him. 

Chuuya whines as he lifts his legs and wraps them around the brunette’s waste, their groin’s rub up against each other creating a much needed friction that has both their breathes stuttering. 

“Chuu—“

“Oh my!” A female voice calls out making Dazai all but shove Chuuya off of him.

Chuuya falls back a little— since Dazai was practically holding him up— elbow falling into a cake. Jesus fucking Christ. 

“I’m so sorry!” Higuchi exclaims, covering her red face and brown eyes from the scene in front of her. Would that be believable if she told you this isn’t the first time this has happened?

Chuuya bites his lip, “It’s fine.” He mutters, voice sounding hoarse and breathless. “You can look.” He says a little louder. 

She carefully removes her hands to look at the two men in front of her. One on the table covered in cake and the other one standing a couple feet away from the table also covered in cake. 

“Did you—“ Her face reddens all over again. “Pick a flavor?”

Dazai’s eyes drift over to Chuuya, remembering what he tastes like. “French Vanilla.” He says at the same time Chuuya says: Red Velvet. 

The brunette smirks, making Chuuya’s stomach do a couple summersaults. “Red Velvet is just fine, Kouyou’s favorite.” 

Dazai licks his lips, humming with a nod. “Yosano will like that flavor too.” 

Higuchi nods, taking in the information. “Do you guys need— towels?”

Chuuya looks down at himself. He’s a lot more bothered by the cake now that he isn’t making out with Dazai. 

Speaking of—

Why the hell did he just make out with Dazai!?

There’s no one even here to watch.

“Yes.” Dazai says since Chuuya looks like he’s questioning his whole existence right now. This was a mistake. Dazai should have known Chuuya would regret it. 

Higuchi leaves as Chuuya hops down from the table. “I didn’t even get to try the maple cake.” He mutters, breaking the awkward tension. 

Dazai nods, “It’s all over your—“ he motions to Chuuya’s body, “If you still want to try it.” 

The redhead scowls, “Shut the hell up this is all your fault.”

Dazai gapes, “I didn’t start—“

All it takes is Chuuya to raise one eyebrow to shut the brunette up. 

“Fine, whatever.” He mumbles instead, lifting his finger up to swipe some frosting off the redhead’s cheek.

”Mm the maple's not that bad.”

Chuuya’s fists clench, feeling his blood start to boil. “I’m going to fucking slap the shit out of you.”

The brunette tilts his head, giving Chuuya a stupid lopsided smirk that has the redhead wanting to kiss off instead of slap to his own surprise. 

It’s not his fault Dazai looks semi-good (really good) with swollen lips, messy hair from the fingers that found their way through it, and icing smudged across his flawless skin. It should be a crime to look that good when Chuuya’s supposed to hate him.

Instead, Chuuya just tsks and looks down at the floor.

Ten minutes later they are standing on the side of the road in front of the cake shop— towels in hand that barely clean them up— when Yosano pulls the car next to them. 

She rolls the window down, “I got a call—“ She can barely keep her face straight when she sees how guilty the two look. It’s like a child getting caught stealing a cookie. “Looks like I can’t leave you two alone."

Dazai opens the door, sliding into the front. “We got it handled, didn’t we?”

Chuuya nods, buckling into the back seat, “We picked a flavor out.” 

She smiles, “Looks like the only flavor-“ She emphasizes the last word, “you two tried were each other.”

Chuuya groans, dropping his face into his hands. 

Dazai just smiles innocently at his best friend. 

Kouyou’s waken abruptly from her lover swinging their bedroom door open. 

“You’re not—“ She gasps for breath, “going to believe what I just got to witness.”

Kouyou sits up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Jesus, what time is it?” 

Yosano rolls her eyes as she jumps in bed, “I left a half hour ago, you weren’t even sleeping that long.”

Little do Dazai and Chuuya know, but the girls planned this. 

Yes, they are stressed from all of the wedding planning. But, no, Kouyou wasn’t throwing up at all. 

She’s actually perfectly healthy. 

Yosano ran around to everyone making up excuses for them all to leave the house. She made her parents go look at flowers, Ranpo to the candy shop, Kouyou’s parents (plus Shirase) to grab groceries, and she’s not sure where Kunikida and Sasaki had gone. They already left before she could find them. 

Moral of the story is Yosano and Kouyou wanted to fuck. They got the house empty and had a great time. 

Her second plan was to get the boys alone. That worked out way better than she planned. 

“Chuuya and Dazai made out on the cake!” She exclaims to her lover, who’s now looking at her wide-eyed.

“They—“ Kouyou scrunches her nose. Could her baby brother really do something like that? “—made out on the cake? How does that even work?” 

Yosano smiles, “I asked the workers to see the video tape. No sound so I don’t really know what led them to that, but it was hot.” 

“You asked to watch the video?!” 

She nods enthusiastically. “I can show—“

“Absolutely not.” Kouyou is exasperated. “Why would you want to see that?!”

She shrugs. “He’s my best friend and I’m his number one supporter in helping him find true love.”

Kouyou shakes her head. “I don’t think you need to watch that kind of tape to support him.”

Yosano claps her hands together. “Anyways, they picked out Red Velvet.”

Kouyou looks down at her hands in her lap, smiling. Chuuya knows she loves that flavor. “They did good then.”

Yosano hums in agreement. 

There’s a knock on Chuuya’s door. He freezes in bed, book in hand, staring at it. 

If that’s Dazai he does not want to open it. 

He doesn’t know what was going through his mind when he kissed Dazai back today. Does he regret his actions? 

That’s the thing—

He does regret it because he hates Dazai. But he also doesn’t regret it that much. Which is crazy if you ask him. 

It was a really fucking good kiss. He never felt a kiss like that with Shirase. 

He can’t face Dazai right now. Maybe not ever again. 

There’s another knock. “Chuuya? Are you there?”

The second he hears Kouyou’s voice, his shoulders slump and he lets out the breath he was holding. “Come in, sorry.”

She opens the door, frowning. “Are you okay? Why are you hiding in your room?” 

Everyone else has been in the living room for the past few hours laughing and hanging out while Chuuya’s been hiding away. 

“I don’t—“ He scrunches his nose, looking down at the opened book in his hand. He would rather be hanging out with everyone, but that means seeing Dazai. 

Kouyou tilts her head. There could be many reasons Chuuya doesn’t want to be out there with everyone. Reasons like their parents, Shirase, and—

“Is it Dazai?”

His eyes snap up, cheeks already burning just from the thought of the brunette. “Don’t say that name!” He whisper-snaps. 

She huffs out a breathy laugh. “Just because you might actually have feelings for the boy doesn’t—“

“Aren’t you sick?” He cuts her off because he doesn’t want to think about ever having real feelings for Dazai. 

She blinks, still standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Oh, yeah I’m fine now.” She cringes, lying to her brother doesn’t feel right. She’s pretty sure if she told him the truth though then he wouldn’t ever forgive her. 

He nods, accepting her answer. “That’s good.” He mutters more to himself than to her. “What are you guys doing?”

She chuckles, “Just telling stupid stories about our childhoods.” He smiles. “You should join us, Chuuya.” 

He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth as he shuts the book. “I probably should. I don’t want to hide away when this is supposed to be about you guys .” 

She shakes her head, “If you’d rather be in here tonight, we won’t mind.”

He hops out of bed. The redhead needs to face his fears (seeing Dazai again). “No, I’m coming.”

She smiles, happy her brother is going to join them. 

“Look who finally decided to join us.” 

Chuuya already regrets his decision. He wants to turn around and lock himself away in his room. 

There Dazai is staring straight at him, sitting on the couch manspreading dressed in a black compression shirt and gray sweatpants. Chuuya’s weakness, but no because why would anything related to Dazai be his weakness?

Chuuya’s eye twitches as he walks over to the couch, choosing to ignore Dazai as he sits right next to him. 

“We thought you caught Kouyou’s sickness.” His mom says, shaking her head worried. 

Chuuya smiles, strained but still a smile. “I was just catching up on my reading.”

“What were you reading, sweetheart ?” Dazai asks as he throws his arm over Chuuya’s shoulder making the redhead stiffen for a second before relaxing into his arm. 

“Poetry.” He mumbles lowly. 

“Chuuya loves his poetry. You should see him at two am hunched over the thing, literally the cutest view you could witness.” Dazai stiffens and Shirase rambles on. “I have so many pictures in my—“

Shirase pauses, taking in the crowd in front of him. 

Chuuya is bright red, shrinking into Dazai who is glaring at Shirase like he has the intention of murdering him right then and there. Across from them, Yosano and Kouyou are smiling awkwardly, looking between the two. Kunikida and Sasaki are making out in the corner, and all the parents just look happy to be there. 

“You must show us!” Mrs Nakahara says, clapping her hands together. 

“ Mom .” Chuuya groans. 

Shirase laughs awkwardly, waving his hand dismissively. Definitely shouldn’t have said anything. “Maybe another time.”

Chuuya’s mom nods happily as the silence lingers in the air. 

Ranpo walks in the room, lollipop in mouth. “Oh! Chuuya’s here. Where have you been?”

Dazai smiles, “Poetry.” He offers the reply for his friend. 

Chuuya closes his eyes, counting to ten before he nods. He’s never leaving his room again after this. “Yep! I was reading.”

Ranpo nods, “Who’s turn is it for an embarrassing childhood story?” 

“Chuuya’s.” Dazai (of course) says. 

“Oh, no no.” He shakes his head profusely. “Someone else—“

“Oh yes!” His mom cuts in. “Baby it’s your turn.”

Kouyou nods. “Tell them about freshman year homecoming—“

“Absolutely not,” Chuuya growls out as Dazai grins. 

“I’d love to hear that story.” The brunette eggs on. “I’m not sure I’ve heard that one.”

Shirase shifts uncomfortably in his place because he’s not sure Dazai will be smiling by the end of this. Especially after the poetry conversation, they all had a second ago. 

Chuuya’s eyes dart around the room to everyone who’s now all staring at him. “Really?”

Dazai nods along with everyone else. 

“Well fine—“ Chuuya begins before getting cut off by Kouyou instantly. 

“For a mental image: Chuuya was in his goth, depressed boy Romeo and Juliet phase, and–”

“Kouyou.” He spits out between clamped teeth; hearing Dazai snicker beside him. He’s about to shove the lanky boy's arm off him and throw a pillow at his sister. 

Shirase chuckles remembering that phase; Dazai instantly sighs in annoyance at the sound of the silver-haired boy.

“Sorry,” She’s not. “That was just a key factor in this story.”

“Don’t worry,” Ranpo pitches in, “I had a phase like that too. That’s when I found out I was into men though.”

Chuuya squints his eyes. “Mkay–”

“I loved that phase, baby.” Chuuya’s mom says with a reassuring nod. “I actually have some pictur–”

“Homecoming night,” Chuuya raises his voice loudly over his mothers. “A night no one will let me forget,” He glares at his sister, who smiles back. “I don’t know why you love it so much– since I almost died .”

—

7 years ago~

“Are you sure you want to go?” Shirase asks as he straightens Chuuya’s tie. “We could always stay home and watch a movie instead.”

Chuuya shakes his head. “You don’t have to worry about me, this is basically our coming out party if you think about it.” 

Even though they have been more than noticeably into each other since middle school, they never actually publicly showed their affection. Plus, they just started dating two weeks ago, so this is a better time than ever. 

Shirase nods, “Whatever makes you happy.”

Chuuya smiles. He is very happy. He’s about to go out to a romantic dance with his lover. Plus, he was able to convince Shirase to wear a blue tie, while he wears a scarlet one. (He’s been a little over the top obsessed with Romeo and Juliet this year.)

Tonight will be perfect. 

They spend the next half hour posing for his mom while she takes pictures from every angle.  

“You two have fun now!” His mom yells as he all but slams the front door in her face.

And they do. The night goes by pretty smoothly. They dance and get to feel like a couple in real life, and in front of people without hiding who they are. Nobody seems to mind, and that makes Chuuya feel even better about coming out to the whole school. 

It all goes well until Yuan arrives. 

Yuan was Chuuya’s elementary school friend all the way up to now, freshman year. The only person Chuuya told about who he liked was Yuan. Apparently, that was a mistake. 

You see, Yuan also had the hots for Shirase, so when Chuuya confided in his friend she reacted the one way he didn’t expect her to react. 

And that one way was to hate him now.

So she decided that homecoming night was the one night she was going to get her revenge on Chuuya for ‘breaking girl code’ and taking her man. 

“Hello, love birds.” Yuan says as she strides up to the two; they were on their way to the punch table. 

“Yuan.” Chuuya says with a strained smile. “I thought you said you weren’t coming?” 

She giggles, “I had a change of heart. Decided to ditch one of my friends to join in on the fun. Sounds familiar, wouldn’t you say?”

Shirase glances over at Chuuya in the corner of his eye, squeezing his arm comfortingly. 

“I’m not sure. That seems to be something you are into though, leaving your friends for unnecessary reasons—“

She scowls.

“Okay!” Shirase says, pushing Chuuya along. “How about that punch.”

Her face morphs back into a smile. “Yeah Chuuya. You should try the punch. It’s delicious .”

Shirase pushes Chuuya along until they finally make it to the punch and snacks table. There’s not a lot of snacks. Some chips, trail mix, candy, and then a cheese tray. It’s nice for a homecoming, but nobody really touches the food. 

“You don’t have to feed off of her like that.” Shirase says, filling up two large cups of tropical fruit punch. 

“I was feeding into nothing.” Chuuya says with an eye roll. 

“Drink this.” He says, handing Chuuya a cup. 

“Absolutely not.” Chuuya says, pushing it back towards his boyfriend with a scowl. “She probably poisoned it.”

Shirase sighs loud. This is going to be a long night. Ever since Yuan and Chuuya stopped being friends he got sucked right into the middle of it. He chugs his punch, and chugs Chuuya’s too while he is at it. It taste a little funky, but free things were always Shirase’s thing.

Now, what the boys don’t know is that Yuan spiked the punch with a good few shots worth of Everclear. 

Chuuya has a very low tolerance, and that’s what Yuan had in mind when pouring the alcohol in the punch. What she didn’t account for was the fact that Shirase has an even lower tolerance than Chuuya. 

“This punch is kinda gross if I’m being honest.”

“See. She poisoned it.”

“You need to get your head out of the clouds.”

“They were never there to begin with.” Chuuya says, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go dance some more.” 

They spend a good 15 minutes dancing before Shirase basically trips straight into Chuuya’s arms. 

“Are you okay?” Chuuya asks, eyes wide with smoke at how out of it Shirase looks. 

“I’m just—“ His half lidded eyes barely stay open as he leans most of his weight on Chuuya now. “J’ tired.”

Chuuya’s organ’s plummet to the ground as he holds his boyfriend up. That sneaky little girl. Coming to homecoming to kill his boyfriend because she’s jealous! 

“Oh my god,” Chuuya whisper-screams as he starts walking his boyfriend to a chair on the side. “She’s trying to kill you! She doesn’t want us together!”

Shirase groans, stomach starting to twist uncomfortably. He assumes the punch got spiked, but Chuuya’s got a whole different level of imagination and Shirase is way out of it to indulge. “I’m j’st a lil drun—“

“Oh god .” Chuuya gasps as he almost drops his boyfriend and his new revolution. “This is like that scene from Romeo and Juliet where the parents don’t want—“

“Please,” Shirase whines as Chuuya finally gets him in a chair. “Don’t even go there.”

Chuuya scrunches his nose as he watches his boyfriend close his eyes, nodding off— or is he? What if he’s dying?! “This is bad .” He whispers to himself. 

Chuuya bites his lip as he begins pacing back in forth in front of his dead (passed out) boyfriend. This is it. This is the kind of romance Chuuya has always fantasized about isn’t it? 

His loved one dying for him because they can’t be together. Only one thing— 

Chuuya has to die too now. This is the part where he ends his own life because he didn’t get the chance to be with the one person he truly loves! 

Wait. 

Did he just say he loves Shirase? 

Oh my god.  

He never got to tell him!

Chuuya’s eyes begin to prickle with tears as he looks at his boyfriend. “I’m sorry.” He whispers and then runs off to the punch table. 

He grabs a handful of trail mix and stares down at it. This is the only way he can make it up to Shirase for not being able to save him from the evil hands of Yuan— who never wanted them to be together in the first place. 

He rolls the trail mix around in his hand. Raisins, M&M’s, pretzels, and peanuts. Something Chuuya cannot eat. 

Yuan walks up to Chuuya, a little irritated that he isn’t white girl wasted right now from her spiked punch. “What are you doing?” She snaps as she walks up to him. 

He looks up to her, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes, “What do you want?”

Her face morphs into confusion as she scanned the boy in front of her. Her eyes travel down to his hand and— “Chuuya. What the fuck are you doing with that in your hand?!” She reaches forward to rip the trail mix out of his hand, but he pulls it to his chest faster. “Are you suicidal?!”

“I’m in love!” And with that he throws the mix into his mouth. Peanuts taste good. He actually loves the taste, it’s just the next thirty seconds after that really does it for him. 

“Oh god!” Yuan shrieks, “Someone call the ambulance!”

It takes no time at all for the peanuts to do their part. Chuuya’s throat begins to close quickly as his body starts to feel heavy and hot. He has a more severe allergy to peanuts than the normal allergic reactions.

That was what he had in mind, though, when he decided to want to die with his loved one. 

It doesn’t take long for him to go unconscious due to lack of oxygen. 

—

Present~

“Let me get this straight,” Ranpo says as he tries to hide his snicker. “You were trying to commit a double suicide?” His eyes travel over to meet Dazai’s, who’s been scowling since the beginning of the story once he realized it was about Shirase. 

Chuuya groans, “No, I was reenacting Romeo and Juilet!” No matter what he says, it’s still more embarrassing than anything else he’s ever done in his life. 

Kouyou chuckles, literally her favorite story of all time because it proves how stupid her brother can be. And you see where that ‘love’ got him? in the arms of another man. 

Shirase laughs awkwardly as he makes eye contact with Dazai, who has a tight grip on Chuuya’s shoulder right now. It’s not his fault his alcohol tolerance is so low. 

“Dazai always talks about wanting to do a double suicide!” Ranpo says, pointing an accusatory finger toward the boy in question. “You guys are perfect for each other!”

Dazai huffs, “I think if I were to commit a double suicide with someone I love—“ He emphasizes, “Then it would be much better executed than that.”

“I think that was pretty romantic.” Chuuya’s mom chimes in with a sniffle. The memory of her baby at the hospital still isn’t something she enjoys envisioning again, but she must say it was truly a beautiful story. 

“I was an idiot,” Chuuya says as he tries to roll his shoulder back, Dazai’s grip is starting to hurt. “I would never do something so idiotic again.”

Yosano nods, “Sorry Dazai, you will never get that double suicide you wanted.”

“Nobody understands,” Dazai says with a sigh, loosening his grip and drumming his fingers against Chuuya's shoulder. The contact is so unbearably warm and tingly that Chuuya almost wants to throw the arm off him and run. 

“You are more of an idiot than I was,” Chuuya mumbles under his breath.

Dazai smiles with a low chuckle, and it rings in Chuuya's ears. “Only when I’m in love.”

In love. That’s a weird concept to think about because Chuuya thought he was in love with Shirase, but we all know how that ended. Not in love. It’s weird for Chuuya to imagine Dazai in love, and it's irritating just how much thought he ends up putting behind it. It's just so annoying imagining the brunette waking up next to someone, holding them and telling them just how much he loves them with a fond look in those honey eyes. Dazai couldn't do that? Could he? But, Chuuya could care less to know about Dazai's love life-- or if he was ever in love before. Obviously.  

It's none of his business. 

They all spend the next hour going over more embarrassing stories from their childhood and Chuuya feels better knowing Dazai wrote a love song for his middle school crush that turned out to be a lesbian.  

Everyone seems to have clouded minds when it comes to love. Love makes you do stupid and embarrassing things, but it makes for a good laugh later on. 

Chuuya isn’t sure he can see himself in love again. He spent so many years dedicated to one person, and that didn’t work out. How could he fall in love again? It just doesn’t seem possible.

Chapter Text

It’s 2 am. 

Chuuya wakes up in a layer of cold sweat, a pillow between his thighs, and with a very hard cock. 

He’s disoriented and confused, but still with the full memory of what he was dreaming about. 

“Shit.” He curses under his breath as he throws the pillow away from him. He glares at the limp white rectangle like it personally offended him. 

This is why he shouldn’t have kissed Dazai. 

Because then he has dreams like that, and he won’t survive the rest of this month if he does. 

He gets out of bed to head to the kitchen for a glass of water. That will clear his mind. 

As he’s walking out of his room his eyes linger on Dazai’s door, shifting his shirt to cover himself better and then speed walking away. This is the worst. 

If Dazai wasn’t so shitty then maybe this wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe they could have started dating a year ago, but no.

Fuck Dazai. 

Fuck Dazai. Chuuya thinks again, squeezing his eyes shut because yeah he wants to fuck Dazai. 

He swings the cabinet open a little too aggressively, fills his cup with faucet water, and chugs. 

The water is barely cold enough to soothe him- since it's tap (truly disgusting if you ask him). But, most of it just ends up dripping down his chin in his poor attempt to calm himself down. 

Memories from last night's dream replay over and over in his head.  

Dazai on his knees looking up at Chuuya with the devil in his eyes, ready to devour his next meal. His perfect pink lips— that Chuuya painfully learned he really enjoys kissing— wrapped around his—

“Oh.” A voice interrupts his thoughts. 

Chuuya flinches back, ripping the cup away from his lips. 

He swings his body away from the other person in the room, slamming his cup down. 

“Dazai.” He curses, unfortunately breathless as he uses the back of his hand to wipe water off his chin.

He doesn’t want that idiot to see what state he is in right now— because of him. 

Dazai tilts his head. “Why-“ he slowly begins to say while analyzing the situation at hand, “are you awake right now.”

Chuuya looks down at himself. Dazai’s 2 am voice isn’t helping either. 

This is worst-case scenario. 

“Can you just leave me alone?” Chuuya tries to snap, but it just comes out as a whiny plea. 

Dazai’s ears perk up, deciding to take a few steps towards Chuuya. “What’s happening right now?” 

Chuuya looks over his shoulder at the brunette who’s now only a couple feet away from him. “I can’t sleep.” 

Dazai scrunches his nose, “I can see that, you look rough.” 

“Thanks, asshole.” He murmurs quietly. He’s pretty sure Dazai can hear his heart beating through his chest right now as the brunette leans forward to get a better look at Chuuya. 

“Did you get sick from Kouyou?” He asks as he lifts the back of his hand to Chuuya’s cheek to feel his temperature. 

As soon as Dazai’s cold hand touches Chuuya’s cheek he sucks in a breath through his teeth. Why is his body reacting like this?!

“You must be sick.” Dazai concludes with a nod, hand still on Chuuya’s hot cheek. 

The redhead jerks his head back, “Don’t touch me. I’m not sick.” 

Dazai frowns at the sudden outburst, now that Chuuya’s fully facing him he has a better view of the redhead and—

Dazai smirks. “Someone’s happy to see me.”

Chuuya’s eyes widen as his cheeks turn a darker shade than his hair. He looks down and throws his arms around him to cover up. It’s a lost cause, though, since Dazai’s already seen everything. “I’m not excited to—“

Dazai tsks. “You don’t need to lie, I’m truly flattered Chuuya.” 

Chuuya bites his lip. 

“Is this why you are awake right now?” Dazai asks after he doesn’t get a response. 

“Don’t act like this doesn’t happen.” Chuuya shoots back defensively. 

Dazai throws his arms up in surrender. “I’m not.”

Chuuya shifts uncomfortably. “Then stop looking at me like I’m a circus clown.” 

Dazai smirks, but it comes out a little wobbly. He’s only staring at Chuuya right now because it’s hot. 

His eyes drop to the floor anyway. “Okay,” He breathes out, “Well then, I’ll leave you to your—“ he flaps his arms around, “thing.” 

Chuuya scowls, his boner is going down a little now, but—

“Wait.” He snaps, just as Dazai was about to shuffle away.

He knows this is such a stupid, terrible, horrible idea. 

Dazai’s eyes snap up, and he’s hoping Chuuya is about to ask him what he thinks he’s about to ask. 

“Yes, Chuuya?” Dazai asks in a low voice that has the redhead’s head spinning. 

Chuuya isn’t brave, but would it be such a bad idea?

Yes. 

But— Now he really wants to know. His dreams made it look mind-blowing and if Dazai is here right now this is the only time Chuuya will have just enough courage to ask. 

“Do you want— what if we—can we–“ Never mind. He can’t do it. 

“Yes.” Dazai blinks as Chuuya stiffens. He didn’t mean to blurt that out. 

Chuuya’s stomach flips as he chews on his bottom lip. “Do you even know what I’m talking about?”

The brunette smiles, “If it has something to do with the thing we were talking about five seconds prior then yes.”

Chuuya’s eye twitches, even when he’s asking Dazai to literally fuck him the brunette is still irritating. 

“So you want to—“ he whispers the next few words, “fuck me.”

Dazai huffs out a breathy laugh but smothers it with a cough when Chuuya scowls. “Yes, I want to fuck you, Chuuya.”

“Shut up! Can’t you be quiet!?” Chuuya whines as he waves his hands frantically in front of the other.

The brunette just rolls his eyes as he reaches out and grabs Chuuya’s wrist. “Come on.” He starts pulling Chuuya to the other’s room. 

“Right now?” Chuuya whispers, face flushed red as he stumbles along. 

“Is that not what you just asked me?”

The redhead chooses to ignore that. 

As soon as Chuuya’s door gets shut and locked he can’t tell if he’s buzzing with anticipation or anxiety that someone’s going to know. It’s not like Yosano and his sister don’t already suspect something. 

“So how are we doing this?” Chuuya asks, scrunching his nose at how stupid he sounds. 

Dazai smirks as he watches Chuuya climb into the bed. This is a once in a lifetime chance that he was not about to pass up. He would be lying if he hadn’t been thinking about this in passing throughout the year. 

“Oh, I’m definitely fucking you,” Dazai says as he climbs up the bed next to Chuuya. 

The shorter makes an inaudible noise in the back of his throat while his stomach flips. “Oh god.” He whispers. That was too hot for his brain to comprehend, especially from shitty Dazai, who turns out to be kinda sexy sometimes. “Okay.”

Dazai chuckles, turning Chuuya’s face so brown eyes meet blue. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

The redhead licks his lips, “Just a one-time thing.” He whispers to make himself feel better about the whole thing. 

Dazai nods, “I know, one-time thing.” He says before leaning forward, slotting their lips together. 

Chuuya was expecting something a lot more frantic and straight to the point, but instead, Dazai starts out slow and gentle. It isn’t bad by any means. It still makes Chuuya melt instantly into the touch. 

“I still hate you,” Chuuya whispers into his mouth, giving Dazai the opportunity to run his tongue between the other's lips. 

He whines, a little needy as he shuffles into a better position next to Dazai. He would be embarrassed, but it seems Dazai wants this just as much as he does.

Their kiss deepens as the brunette uses his hands to tilt Chuuya’s head back. Every swipe of their lips is slick as their breaths begin to accelerate into a more lustful action. 

All the blood in Dazai’s body runs south way quicker than it should.  

Dazai smiles, “You won’t be saying such crude things to me soon, sweetheart.” 

“Watch me.” Chuuya gasps as Dazai breaks their kiss, moving down towards the other boy's neck. 

Every inch of the redhead is hyper aware of just where Dazai touches him. It sends a shiver down his spine as he lifts his head to give the other better access. 

“The only thing you’ll be doing is begging me to let you cum. ” Dazai hums against Chuuya’s neck, making the redhead’s organs drop to the floor.

He tightens his grip around the sheets till his knuckles turn white as Dazai works to cover each inch of skin he can reach. The brunette bites down a little harder in some areas making his head spin before using his tongue to soothe away the pain. 

“Jesus, Dazai.” He shifts impatiently, “No markings.”

Dazai leans back, unlatching his lips from Chuuya’s pulse point to look at the pretty display of darkening bruises over pale skin. “Don’t worry, it looks like I wasn’t even there.” He lies. 

Chuuya nods. Good. “Now get on with it.” 

Dazai chuckles. “So bossy.” The brunette shifts down the bed until he’s lying between Chuuya’s thighs, laying his head against the right one; looking up innocently at Chuuya. “I’ll have you know, I like to take my time, but if you’re wanting something quick, then Shirase is next—“

Chuuya bristles in anger. “I swear to—“

Just then Dazai rips both of Chuuya’s sweats and underwear down to the redhead’s ankles, cutting Chuuya off and leaving him right out there in the open. 

Chuuya goes to clamp his legs shut, but gets stopped by Dazai’s body between them. 

Dazai stares down at Chuuya’s hard, flushed cock, ready to put the whole thing in his mouth and suck it dry. But, he is a patient man unlike some people. He has self control. 

Chuuya watches Dazai stare for a little too long making him start to feel self-conscious. “Don’t act like you haven’t–”

“I’m just admiring.” Dazai cuts him off, throwing Chuuya off completely.

“I– don’t say shit like– augh.” Dazai’s mouth wraps around the head of Chuuya’s cock, cutting off the rest of his sentence. 

Dazai hums as he slowly swirls his tongue around Chuuya’s head, making the redhead’s legs tighten around him. He pops off, then drags his tongue down the underside making the other squirm. 

“Holy shit—“ Chuuya moans as he squeezes his eyes shut. Every little lick and suck makes his cock bounce impatiently. 

And if you’re wondering, yes, Dazai looks just like the Dazai he dreamt about. He’s looking through his long brown lashes, hazy lust swimming behind his eyes as he takes in just how much he’s affecting the other. 

Chuuya is putty under his touch, bending to every demand he makes with his tongue. 

Just then, Dazai decides he’s actually not as patient as he thinks and decides to put the whole top half in his mouth while his hand strokes the bottom, bobbing his head up and down. 

Chuuya lets out a choked moan, trying to be quiet because people are trying to sleep right now. He brings his right hand up to bite down on it as he watches Dazai move up and down. He’s really pretty from here, but Chuuya is hoping that’s just his horniness talking. 

A second later Dazai pops off and looks at Chuuya with an unimpressed look. “I won’t do this if you keep quiet, I would like to hear you.”

Chuuya squeezes his eyes shut so he doesn’t snap at Dazai for stopping. “But if someone else hears –”

“Good.” Dazai says with a grin before he dives back down to swallow Chuuya whole this time. 

Chuuya’s hips buck up into Dazai’s touch as a loud, sinful moan slips past his lips making Dazai’s head spin as he wraps his hand around the redhead’s hip to hold him down in a bruising manner. 

Dazai looks up to see Chuuya’s head tilted back, eyes shut, and mouth slightly agape as his chest rises and falls quickly. It’s a beautiful sight that he never imagined he might really see in real life, and the whine that Chuuya lets out might just be his breaking point too. 

“I– shit–” Chuuya doesn’t want to admit how close he is. It is the combination of Dazai looking like that, and the fact he hasn’t done this with someone in a while. “I thought we were gonna– fuck – but I can’t if you make me–”

Chuuya swears he can feel Dazai smile around his cock before he sucks his cheeks in and slowly comes up to pop off of his cock. 

Dazai will admit, he was getting a little carried away. He does want to fuck Chuuya. 

“I’ll fuck you, Chuuya. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

The redhead sucks in a breath as he looks over to his nightstand. There’s a bottle of lube in the drawer because what man in their right mind would go a month without their trusty lube with them?

Once he grabs it, along with a condom, he tosses it down to Dazai who just smirks up at him.

Chuuya tilts his head in confusion as he watches Dazai set the lube and condom down right next to him on the bed. “Dumbass, you have to–”

Next thing he knows he’s getting tugged down by the legs until the both are resting on either side of Dazai’s shoulders. His heart is racing as he looks wide eyed down at the boy who is now eye level with his–

“What are you do —” Chuuya gets cut off again by Dazai, but this time it’s from the brunette swirling his warm tongue around the redhead’s rim. Chuuya cries out a surprised moan because he has never done this before. 

Dazai begins lapping his tongue and sucking at Chuuya’s ring of muscles, milking every kind of moan and whine out of the redhead.

Chuuya did have a sex life before Dazai. Him and Shirase had sex, of course. But my god it wasn’t like this. He always wanted to spice up their sex life in the past, but it never made it past the few positions and blow jobs.

“Dazai.” Chuuya breathes out as he grips his hands into the sheets, again. The brunette is devouring his ass right now, and he’s enjoying it way more than he thought he would. 

Dazai hums, delighted to hear his name drip off of Chuuya’s lips like honey. He tightens his grip around Chuuya’s hips as he finally pushes his tongue through Chuuya’s rim. 

The sudden intrusion makes him arch his back, which is already pretty much off the bed from the way Dazai is holding him up. 

Chuuya is sure everyone in the damn house can hear him now. Even his mom. Oh god. 

And Dazai, well he knows everyone in this house is awake with the way Chuuya is screaming his name. He didn’t even get to the main show yet. He wouldn’t mind doing this all day though if this is how Chuuya acted. 

Dazai pulls his face away, blindly reaching for the lube. “My Chuuya, I really like this side of you.”

Chuuya looks down at Dazai, half-lidded, trying to scowl but it doesn’t work. “Dazai – don’t stop.”

The brunette grins as he pops the lube open, “Oh sweetheart, we are just getting started.”

Chuuya bites his lip as Dazai slowly lowers him and rubs lube between his fingers to warm it up. 

Chuuya shutters, throwing his head back as Dazai finally pushes his finger into the boy. It’s only one finger, “More.” He demands breathy. 

“That’s no way to ask.” Dazai murmurs as he works a steady pace in and out of Chuuya with his finger. It’s so warm and tight that Dazai can’t tell if he’s excited or nervous to put his cock in the redhead.

Chuuya bites his bottom lip, irritated that he’s seriously about to beg Osamu Dazai to put another damn finger in him. He needs this though. “Please, Dazai.”

Dazai pauses, making Chuuya huff. The brunette’s head snaps up, a devil-like grin on his face as his pupils are blown, “Please what, doll?”

Chuuya’s stomach drops from the pet name as he lifts his hips in an attempt to make Dazai move again. “Please finger me like you mean it, damn it Dazai. It feels so good–”

Dazai shifts his weight because of the pressure building with every second in his pants before he plunges two fingers in Chuuya, all the way down to his knuckles. 

Chuuya gasps in a strangled breath as his hands fist into the sheets as tight as they can. “K-kiss me.” He says between breaths. “Please.”

Of course Dazai isn’t going to deny Chuuya a kiss, so he leans forward, fingers still working quickly in the redhead. “You can hold onto me if you need to,” Dazai whispers a breath away from Chuuya’s mouth right before he drops down and connects their lips together.

Chuuya’s hands automatically let go of the sheets, arms wrapping around Dazai’s neck to pull him in closer. Their tongues dance around each other as they breathe the same air. A third finger makes its way in as they kiss, and Dazai can feel the muscles spasm around his fingers.

He stretches his fingers and slowly curves them around trying to find the perfect angle for–

“Fucking hell–” Chuuya yells, muffled into Dazai’s mouth as he arches his back off the bed. His body barely lifts up since it’s trapped under Dazai’s body weight.

–That. He hits Chuuya’s prostate head on and as soon as he finds it he doesn’t let up. He goes back over it again and again until Chuuya is a withering mess from his touch. “You’re doing so well.” He purrs into Chuuya’s ear. All he gets back in return is a small whimper as Chuuya’s nails dig into the back of his shirt. 

He chuckles as he slows his fingers down enough for Chuuya to make coherent sentences, and the first words that come out of his mouth are: “Fuck me, please. God, Dazai fuck me, now. I can’t take it anymore.” There’s tears from the pleasure prickling in his eyes.

Dazai’s heart leaps in his chest at the stream of words dripping out of Chuuya’s lips like hot liquid syrup, slowly slipping his fingers out.

“I got you baby, I’ll fuck you so good.” He slips out of his sweats and boxers, finally relieving the pressure that’s been building up. He lets out a sigh as he reaches over to put the condom on and stroke some lube over his cock. 

Chuuya watches impatiently, already missing how full he felt a second ago. Dazai looks so handsome as he preps himself and shuffles down between Chuuya’s legs. The redhead also would never say this out loud, but Dazai is definitely bigger than Shirase. 

Chuuya would also like to note that his dreams didn’t do Dazai justice and they haven’t even gotten to the best part.  

Dazai finally settles between Chuuya’s legs, lining his cock up at the other boy’s entrance. In a moment like this he really questions if this is hate he feels for Chuuya. He’s never hated anyone, but again he’s never felt the feelings he feels for Chuuya, for anyone else. It’s all just confusing, and when he thinks too hard into it he gets frustrated. So, the only way to keep his mind from wandering is to just do what he came in here to do. 

Without any more hesitation Dazai finally pushes his cock into Chuuya making the other boy shutter beneath him. They both exhale a breath of air as soon as Dazai bottoms out. “You feel so tight.” Dazai whispers, squeezing his eyes shut to just feel every little twitch from Chuuya.

Chuuya fully relaxes from the intrusion, looking at Dazai. The boy has his hands clasped around Chuuya’s hips, holding him in place, with his chocolate hair covering his eyes. “Dazai, look at me.”

Is asking for Dazai to look at him too intimate for their circumstances? Probably. But Chuuya doesn’t care right now because that’s all he wants right now is for Dazai to look at him, to touch him, to speak sweet nothings into his ear, and to kiss him like he fucking means it.

Dazai tilts his chin up until the hair slides out of his field of vision, and as soon as he makes eye contact with Chuuya, his breath stalls. The redhead’s cheeks are flushed a pretty red and his eyes are half lidded with pleasure just waiting for Dazai to move. 

Dazai slowly starts to move in and out of Chuuya, mentally engraving every little noise that falls out of the redhead. He sets a rhythm as he leans forward, trapping Chuuya’s lips on his. “You’re taking it so well, sweetheart.” He whispers.

“Feels– so good.” Chuuya says as his fingers run through Dazai’s hair, trying to chase after more with his own hips. “Faster.”

Dazai smiles against Chuuya’s lips as he picks up the pace, “Shit, Chuuya.”

He doesn’t know why, but hearing his name like that come out of Dazai’s mouth might just be his new favorite sound. And that’s scary. 

“Dazai, I want to cum. Please, let me cum.” He blurts out, already feeling like he’s been on the edge the past hour. He cannot take it anymore. When Dazai told him he was going to draw it out, he wasn’t expecting this. He didn’t think the brunette would try this hard to make him feel this good. 

Dazai would stop until Chuuya is crying and begging him for it, but Dazai is just a man and he has those same needs right now. He doesn’t want to stop, so instead he snaps his hips forward, harder to chase after his own orgasm as well. His hand wraps around Chuuya’s cock, stroking it relentlessly to tip the boy off the edge. 

“Then cum for me, sweetheart.” He grunts out between thrusts. 

“Oh my god.” Chuuya cries out as tears of pleasure build in his eyes. He did not realize how badly he needed this until now. 

With one last pump Chuuya finally falls over the edge hard. His orgasm is earth-shattering to the point Dazai has to cover his mouth with his hand because of how loud he was being. His whole body spasms as he spills onto Dazai’s other hand that was stroking him.

Just from the sound Chuuya lets out makes Dazai tip over the edge himself just a second later. He curses under his breath as he moans into the redhead’s shoulder.

After he begins to feel overstimulated he slowly pulls out of Chuuya, making them both gasp. “Shit,” Dazai says, out of breath, “We are messy.”

“Use my shirt,” Chuuya says, eyes closed so he doesn’t have to look at Dazai. He’s ashamed. He told Dazai he hated him, and then he used him for sex. Once Dazai realizes it, he’s going to hate him even more. 

Dazai hums as he leans over the edge of the bed to grab the shirt. He never took his own shirt off, but he has reason behind that. Even if Chuuya would have asked, he would have said no. He’s actually grateful Chuuya didn’t. They aren’t close enough for that.

After Dazai wipes himself off and cleans his hand, he looks over at Chuuya. Chuuya’s arm is resting over his eyes as he lays there; breath slowly coming down. “Do you want me to clean you up?” He questions.

Chuuya huffs, “I’ll just hop in the shower, it’s fine.” He bites his lip before mumbling a ‘thanks though’ at the end.

Dazai nods, feeling a little out of place as he reaches for his underwear. “So then–”

“I won’t be angry if you just leave. You don’t have to take care of me.” Chuuya cuts him off, sounding a little more snappy than he intended to. 

“I’ll go then.” He whispers as he finishes dragging his sweatpants up. Chuuya still hasn’t moved.

“Okay.” 

Dazai frowns as he makes his way to the door. “Goodnight, Chuuya.”

“G'night.”

Dazai closes the door behind him, and Chuuya sits up as soon as he hears it fall shut, looking around the room. “Shit.”

Chapter Text

Yosano sits at the dining room table, sipping obnoxiously against the rim of her coffee cup as she stares at her best friend.

Dazai stands in the doorway that leads to the kitchen. He’s pinned in his spot just by her stare. 

He doesn’t dare move a muscle.

“Uh–” He blinks. “Good morning.”

Last night didn’t end as well as he hoped. Chuuya couldn’t even look at him and now Dazai already wants to bury himself six feet under, but he won’t let anyone know that. 

Silence drags on as she slowly sets her mug down. 

Kouyou walks past Dazai, sliding into the kitchen as she hums an unrecognizable tune. “Goodmorni–” She pauses, looking at her lover, then at Dazai and back to her lover.

She didn’t get good sleep last night. She doesn’t think any of them did.

You don’t particularly sleep well when you hear your brother moaning in the room next door. A shiver of disgust runs down her body. It will be a while before she can get those mental images out of her head.

“Nevermind.” Kouyou says as she turns around, right back out the kitchen. 

Yosano smiles. “Someone had fun last night.”

Dazai tongues his canines. “Who?” He asks hesitantly. 

“Don’t play stupid with me, Osamu.” She gestures for him to come sit at the table, a coffee mug already in the seat across from her made for him.

The brunette’s shoulders slump as he finally takes a few steps forward and plops down in the chair. “You heard that?”

She waits for him to pick up the coffee, taking a sip before she speaks. “I’m pretty sure the whole neighborhood did.”

He gives her a strained smile, “No secrets here? Heh.”

Yosano grins. She is so starting a matchmaking business. 

“You gotta tell me what you did!” His eyes widen as she continues talking, “I thought someone was getting murdered last night with how unhinged that sounded. You sir–” she points at him, and his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, “know what you're doing.”

“I don’t think–”

“Ah, ah ah.” She shushes him, “Ozaki is loud, but not like that–”

They both freeze as they hear a harsh inhale by the kitchen doorway. Her eyes drift from Dazai to the redhead standing in the doorway. “Oh. Good morning, Chuuya.” She grins and Dazai’s face pales. “We were just talking about you.”

Dazai turns around in his chair to see Chuuya standing there, face bright red. The brunette isn’t sure if it’s from embarrassment or anger.

Chuuya is avoiding eye contact with Dazai. They haven’t looked in each other’s eyes since, well– 

“I–” Chuuya’s eye twitches, fingers itching to rub at the turtle neck he put on because Dazai is a fucking liar and their is marks.

Yosano bites back her smile, clearing her throat. “It’s supposed to be hot out today.” She loves her life. “I don’t think you’ll need all that fabric.”

Dazai frowns at Chuuya’s outfit. He put those markings there for a reason, and they were to not be covered.

“I was cold when I woke up.” Chuuya deflects back in a small voice.

“Is that so?” She hums back.

Chuuya finally looks over at Dazai, making the brunette’s stomach drop.

It’s a glare, but it’s still there. The eye contact.

“Say something asshole.” Chuuya hisses.

Dazai opens his mouth, but before anything comes out–

“If it isn’t my two favorite pornstars,” Ranpo says as he strides into the kitchen, headed to the candy jar. 

Chuuya makes an inaudible noise in the back of his throat as Dazai shrinks into his chair. Maybe telling Chuuya to not hold back wasn’t the best idea that Dazai has had. 

“I hate you all.” Chuuya spits, but his eyes don’t leave the brunette’s when he says it. 

It doesn’t feel amazing. It’s actually draining, always having Chuuya claim he hates him. It makes Dazai just want to shake the redhead and ask him why he really hates him. Chuuya is the one who walked out that morning, not Dazai.

So what went wrong?

Dazai should be the one who hates Chuuya. But he doesn’t think he does, not that much at least. He might dislike the redhead from time to time, but there isn’t hate. Even if he claims to hate him.

“No lies,” Ranpo says, putting his hands up in surrender, “You two are my favorite pornstars. It was hot–”

“UGH-” Chuuya throws his arms up as he turns on his heels and storms out of the kitchen. Forget it, he isn’t getting coffee this morning. 

“Someone didn’t get enough sleep last night.” Ranpo mutters as he rips the wrapper off his lollipop. 

“Touchy subject?” Yosano guesses with a shrug. “And I told you. Candy isn’t breakfast.”

Dazai chews on his bottom lip, is following Chuuya a bad idea? Yes, probably.

He stays silent in his seat. 

The two siblings chatter as Dazai stares into his half-drunk coffee.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, until he feels a hand rest against his shoulder.

He looks up to see Fukuzawa standing there.

“Good morning, son.”

Dazai blinks, forcing a smile. “Good morning.”

“How’s your father doing?”

The dreaded question that always finds its way to him. He would rather go back to the topic of Chuuya hating him.

“He’s fine.” Dazai shrugs, picking up his coffee to take another sip; It’s cold. “I haven’t spoken to him in a few days.”

Fukuzawa nods, “Is he still running around Japan like a chicken with its head cut off?”

Dazai chuckles. “Of course.”

His father is a workaholic. It’s the only good thing about him because that gives him less time to worry about his son. 

Fukuzawa nods. “He should retire. It’s the best decision I ever made.”

Dazai hums, “Greece must be treating you well?”

“Better than you’d think, but–” Fukuzawa lifts an eyebrow as he stares down at the boy. “You seem to be getting treated well here in Greece too.”

He can hear Yosano choke on her coffee across the table as he blinks up at the old man. “I– it– we didn’t–”

“You and that Nakahara boy are serious, huh?”

Ranpo snickers.

Everyone really did hear them, didn’t they.

A few walls away, Dazai doesn’t know, but Chuuya is faced with his own humility. 

“—And to think, all those years of love and bonding for–” His mom lets out a choked sob, “for nothing.”

He subconsciously chews on his nails as he stands in the doorway of his parent's room. His dad is rubbing comforting circles around his mother's back as she sobs uncontrollably. 

He only came in here to ask for some Ibuprofen, but he will never make that mistake again.

“Mom.” He sighs, dropping his hand to his side, “Shirase and I both agreed–”

She cries even louder.

His dad decides to speak up next, “What your mother is trying to say is that you were never like–” He scrunches his nose as he waves his hand around, “that with Shirase. You guys were more classy, and actually had a bond.”

Chuuya scowls. Yeah, fucking so loud the whole house hears you isn’t classy, but he would like to see Shirase get that kind of reaction out of him. Dazai knows what he’s doing, even if Chuuya wouldn’t like to admit it out loud. (He’s pretty sure everyone already knows that though from last night.)

“Why don’t you guys trust me?” He asks, a little more irritated than he meant for it to come out. “I’m twenty-two, I know how to handle myself.”

His mother sniffs. “How can we trust you when you throw away a perfect relationship for some old stranger.”

“He’s not old.” Chuuya says through grinding teeth.

“Watch your tone.” His dad warns as his mom puts a placating hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay hunny, our baby is just confused.” She says. 

Chuuya throws his arms up, “I can’t stand you guys right now.” He turns on his heels, shutting the door behind him as he walks out.

He can’t deal with them, or anyone today for that matter.

As he’s walking down the hall to get to his own room, he’s face to face with one of the last people he wants to see right now. Shirase. 

“Oh– Chuuya– hey–” Shirase starts sputtering out nonsense, face turning a dark shade of red,  “I didn’t see you– I don’t–”

Chuuya’s eye twitches. “You heard too?"

Shirase’s nostrils flare as he inhales a deep breath of air through his nose. “Yes.” He squeaks out, embarrassed for some reason. 

Chuuya is so close to screaming at everyone today. It’s like he has to walk on eggshells just because he got fucking laid, damn it!

“Sorry.” He mutters under his breath as he tries to walk past his ex, head hanging low to avoid eye contact.

He doesn’t make it very far because the silver-haired boy stops him with his hand, “Wait–!”

Chuuya looks up, wide-eyed from the sudden outburst. “What?” He asks cautiously. 

Shirase takes a deep breath, “I’m happy for you, and… shit–” He looks down, avoiding eye contact with Chuuya, “And I know your parents are giving you a hard time, but I’m fine with it! So, don’t worry and stuff–”

Chuuya doesn’t say anything, waiting for Shirase to continue, but the boy doesn’t. “But?”

Shirase’s eyes snap up to look at him, cheeks flushing with a dark shade of red, “But was it–” he bites his lip, “was it better?”

Out of all the things that he was expecting to hear, it was not that. Not by a long shot. That was so unexpected that Chuuya just stares for a second, contemplating if he actually heard that right or not.

“Did you just–”

Shirase flinches back, “Oh! I just– no! Don’t answer that!”

Chuuya sputters, albeit confused. “I won’t–”

“But,” Shirase chokes, exasperated, “Rough estimate. Like– if you were to compare–”

“Shirase” Chuuya hisses, shaking the boy to get him to stop talking. It works. “I am not comparing anything or anyone–” (Even if sex with Dazai was mind-blowing). 

His ex laughs, scrubbing his hands down his face, “Sorry, I don’t know what got a hold of me there.”

Chuuya scrunches his nose. “Uhm– so are we okay?”

Shirase nods, “Yes, If you’re happy then I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Chuuya nods, “Thank you.”

He’s glad that at least someone supports his decisions, even if ‘dating Dazai’ was never really a real decision. It still makes him feel way better about what he’s doing. Especially knowing that Shirase doesn’t exactly hate him makes him feel a lot better too.

That being said, he and Shirase have been close since they were basically babies. Shirase was a really big part of Chuuya’s life, and it’s not like he has to completely push Shirase away now that they aren’t together anymore. 

They can still be friends. 

It’s been about 6 hours now since Dazai has seen Chuuya, and he thinks that’s enough time to think about whatever the hell he’s probably been thinking about cooped up in his room all day. 

So he knocks.

“Chuuya?” He says, forehead leaning against the door. “Can we talk?” 

It’s silent for approximately thirty seconds before the door swings open, making Dazai almost fall forward.

He catches himself on the doorframe, looking up to see Chuuya standing there with his hands on his hips, and hair wet from what Dazai is assuming a shower. His throat is showing this time, making Dazai smother a smirk rising on his lips.

“What do you want to talk about?” Chuuya asks, scrunching his nose.

“Heh.” Dazai looks down at the alcohol in his hand before looking back at Chuuya. “I brought a peace offering?” 

Chuuya scowls. “Vodka out of all things?” 

Dazai’s lips form a silent ‘o’ as he stares at the vodka. Why did he buy vodka in the first place? Oh yes, because he needed liquid courage. 

“So you don’t want it?”

Chuuya stares hard for a second before sighing, “Don’t be ridiculous.” He rips the alcohol out of Dazai’s hand. “Get in here.”

Dazai smiles in victory as he shuffles into Chuuya’s room. “What have you been doing all day—“ He meets eyes with Chuuya as soon as the doors shut. “Hiding from me?”

Chuuya twists the cap off, “More like everyone’s annoying ass that can’t imagine we would have a sex life when we literally decided to—“ he uses his hand that’s not on the bottle to make quotation marks “date.”

Dazai blinks, not expecting Chuuya to straight up say it. He thought he was going to have to work it out of him.

“Oh and—“ Dazai freezes when he watches Chuuya take three big gulps straight out of the bottle. 

“Yuck” Chuuya whispers as he wipes off his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Dazai smiles, “Be careful, I don’t know how much your little body can handle.” 

Chuuya scoffs, “I can handle more than you.”

“Do you really think that, Chuuya?” Dazai asks innocently as he takes the bottle out of the boy's hand. 

“Yes.” No. Chuuya’s lying. He has a terrible tolerance. 

Dazai lifts the bottle to his lips and starts chugging a few gulps down.

Chuuya frowns, “Slow down.”

He pops off the bottle with a smile, “You scared?”

“No! Gimme that.” Chuuya snatches the bottle again, already feeling a little tipsy, and takes a few more shots worth. 

Dazai bites his lip, the intention was to get tipsy but this works too. 

Chuuya scrunches his nose as he struggles to swallow the last bit down. If this was wine the bottle would already be gone, but apparently Dazai doesn’t have class. 

“You got enough yet?” Dazai asks as he takes the bottle and sips on it a little. 

“Not-“ He hiccups, “enough.” He holds out his hand, scrunching it in and out, in a way that says ‘gimme’ and Dazai can’t help but laugh as he hands Chuuya the bottle. He’s like a little kid.

They go back and forth for a little bit with the bottle. Dazai was not expecting Chuuya to drink as much as he had so far.

“You’re cut off,” Dazai says as he snatches the more than-halfway-empty bottle. 

Chuuya gasps, clearly offended. “Why?!”

Dazai bites his lip, hiding his smile. “Shh-“ He puts the cap on, a little clumsy since he’s drunk himself. “You’re being loud and if you drink anymore then you’ll be throwing up.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to deal with that.

Chuuya smirks as he leans forward, sitting crisscrossed in his bed, “I thought you like it when I’m loud.” 

Dazai blinks, wide-eyed as his brain freezes for a second. “I-“ He does, in other circumstances at least.

Chuuya hums tilting his head as he squints, looking pretty drunk. “You are pretty. Did you know that? Like, I think the alcohol made you prettier.”

Dazai’s face heats up as he keeps staring at Chuuya. Drunk Chuuya is a new favorite of his.

“Chuuya you—“

The redhead’s hand shoots up to shut him up. “No. Don’t talk. I know I talk shit, but you’re so pretty.”

Dazai shifts in his spot on Chuuya’s bed. “Thank you?”

Chuuya hums. “Where’s the alcohol?”

Dazai shakes his head smiling, “No, were you just trying to butter me up so I’d give you the alcohol back?” 

“What?!” Chuuya gasps loud. “I would never!” 

Rolling his eyes, Dazai sets the bottle on the nightstand next to Chuuya’s bed. “Of course not.”

Chuuya pouts, “Do you not—“ he sniffles, “believe me.”

Dazai’s eyes snap to meet Chuuya’s, whose look is a little watery. “Don’t cry.” Nevermind. Drunk Chuuya might just be too much for him to handle. The boy has gone through emotions quicker than Dazai ever has in his life. 

Chuuya scowls, “Fuck. I can’t stand you.”

Dazai’s point still stands. 

The brunette smiles regardless, “But yesterday you seemed fine asking to get into my pants. If I didn’t know any better, it seemed like you could stand to be near me, Chuuya dearest.”

Chuuya all but jumps onto Dazai, covering his mouth with his very warm hands. “Someone might hear you!” He whisper-snaps.

Dazai throws his arms up in surrender, trying to talk, but it gets muffled behind the hand on his lips.

Chuuya doesn’t move right away as he just sits there, scanning Dazai’s face with his big blue eyes. 

Dazai’s breathing shallows as he stares back. Something about being this close to Chuuya isn’t good for his health. 

There’s a few muffled laughs outside of the bedroom that has Chuuya flailing back to the other side of the bed quicker than Dazai can blink. 

“You good?” Dazai asks, tilting his head. 

Chuuya brushes himself off, cheeks pinkening. “I thought someone came in here.”

“And that’s a bad thing—?”

“Yes.”

Dazai blinks. This probably won’t be a good time to bring up what he wanted to ask. What he needed the liquid courage for. 

“My bad, I can leave if you are that worried.” Dazai says, feeling a little less confident. 

Chuuya rolls his eyes, twirling a red curl between his fingers. His hair is in the in-between stage of wet and dry. “Don’t be stupid.”

He grins, “So Chuuya wants me in here?”

“Well, I don’t want you to leave.”

As soon as the words hit Dazai’s ears, he freezes. Chuuya must not be drunk enough because he freezes after he realizes what he just said too. 

Is this progress Dazai sees? Does Chuuya not hate his guts?

Dazai opens his mouth to respond, but Chuuya holds a hand up. 

“I didn’t mean—“

“Chuuya.”

“Yeah?”

This is the perfect time. Dazai needs Chuuya to just shut up for one second so he can keep hold of his confidence. He needs to ask Chuuya the question he wanted to ask when he first got here an hour ago. 

“I wanted to ask you—“

“Stop.” Chuuya says, biting his lower lip. 

Dazai tilts his head. Caught a little off guard from the urgency in Chuuy’s voice. 

“Huh?” He whispers, Chuuya scrunches his nose like he’s contemplating what to do next. 

“I just—“ Chuuya sighs, throwing his arms around annoyed. “I wanna ask you something first before you run that big mouth of yours.”

Dazai’s jaw goes slack as he over-exaggerates a gasp. Not daring to say any words though as he waits for Chuuya to keep talking. 

“Friends with benefits.”

The brunette stares at the redhead, brain short-circuiting because did that really just come out of Chuuya’s mouth? 

It must be silent for too long because Chuuya jumps to his feet, stumbling a little because of the alcohol in his system. “I mean, I don’t know why I said that—“ he starts laughing awkwardly, scratching at the nape of his neck. “It must be the alcohol. I just was thinking, you know, because people do that. I was just thinking last night was good. Great even.” He starts pacing. “And who says we can’t? If we both enjoyed it then why stop? Everyone already thinks we are dating so— wait—“ He freezes his pacing and turns to face Dazai, wide eyed. “Did you even like it?! Oh my god, this is embarra—“

“Chuuya please calm down.” Dazai says as he tries to process everything that just came out of the redhead. 

“But—“

“Let me talk.” Dazai interrupts. 

Chuuya clamps his mouth shut and nods. 

“So, before I respond to all that, I would like to let you know I did enjoy it,” he smiles, “so don’t think I didn’t.” 

Chuuya’s cheeks flush a light shade of pink, and he nods again without saying anything. 

“Now. I don’t see why friends with benefits would be a bad idea.” He nods to himself. This is great. He came in here to ask Chuuya the same thing, but making it seem like it was the redhead’s idea is even better. “It’s not like it’s hurting anyone.”

“Exactly.” Chuuya agrees, “Plus, it will make my parents lay off about Shirase—“

“And Sasaki would be sure to get jealous.”

Chuuya’s eye twitches, but he continues on, “It would even make this whole dating thing look more real.”

Dazai nods. “Kunikida would have nothing on me—“

“And it’s good for our health—!” Chuuya pauses, looking at Dazai with a frown. “Wait, what did you just say?”

Dazai waved his hand dismissively towards Chuuya, who finally sat back down. “Can we go back to that healthy thing? What are you talking about?”

Chuuya scrunches his nose, “Oh, there are a lot of health benefits to sex.”

Dazai hums with a nod, glad he distracted Chuuya enough to move on. 

“So for one, it lowers stress. There’s also the fact it helps you sleep better, lowers blood pressure, reduces heart issues, decreases depression, burns calories—“

Dazai zones out halfway through. The nerdy med student Chuuya is too much for him while he’s still drunk. The only thing he can think about now is: yes, they are going to do it! Chuuya wants to keep doing this with him! That must mean Chuuya doesn’t actually hate him. Right? Or what if this is just drunk Chuuya and he doesn’t mean anything he’s saying right now. That would suck because Dazai likes being this close to Chuuya.

“—and apparently it boosts brain power and decreases the chance of prostate cancer. Oh, and it—“

It’s frustrating always having to butt head’s with the boy. Especially when he has this strong sense of longing to be near him. Why he has that? He isn’t exactly sure. That’s another frustrating thing that he doesn’t want to dive into right now. 

“—This doesn’t really concern us but it also reduces period pain. But I don’t know why I’m telling—“

“Chuuya.” Jesus, Dazai can’t listen to this. His dad already talked enough about anatomy and the human body; he doesn’t need to know the benefits of sex too. All he knows is it’s enjoyable and doing it with Chuuya sounds so much better than doing it with anyone else.  

“Yeah?” Chuuya asks, blinking slowly as he comes back to the original conversation. Dazai. Friends with benefits. He asked Dazai to be friends with benefits. 

Were they even friends to begin with? Or did they skip a couple steps…

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Hah?!” Chuuya’s stomach flutters at the question, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“I said: Can I kiss—“

“Shut up. I heard you the first time.” Chuuya says as his face heats up. 

Dazai chuckles, “So, is that a no?”

“No—“ Chuuya shuffles in place. “I mean not a no. It’s a yes. Well, it’s a ‘I want to—“

“Okay.” He lifts the redhead’s chin with his fingertip. “Then come here.”

Chuuya crawls over to Dazai, getting in the brunette’s lap as he leans against the bed's headboard.  

He smiles, placing his hands on the thighs that are now straddling him. “I could get used to this.” 

“Just kiss me already, bastard.” 

Dazai doesn’t need to be asked twice. He leans forward, closing the gap between the two of them and slotting their lips together. 

Chuuya exhales a deep breath as he relaxes, wrapping his arms around Dazai’s neck. 

Their lips slide together perfectly as they kiss at a slower pace. They don’t rush, like they have all the time in the world and the only thing that matters is this kiss right here. 

When they aren’t fighting, things are nice. There’s no bickering or getting hurt from each other’s words when their mouths are on each other. 

Dazai’s hands squeeze Chuuya’s thighs a little tighter, making the other boy hum into his mouth. 

It’s grounding, having the weight of another living breathing being on you. It’s grounding when he knows it’s Chuuya on top of him. Giving him his body and attention despite the hatred. If he can even call it that anymore.

Chuuya breaks away from the kiss with a quiet pop, looking at Dazai with hazy blue eyes. 

“You’re pretty too,” Dazai whispers as he scans Chuuya’s face. His lips are slightly swollen from the kiss and his cheeks are tinted from the alcohol. He’s breathing a little harder, making his warm breath wash over Dazai’s face. 

“Idiot.”

He chuckles and leans forward to kiss Chuuya again. Eyes fluttering shut as soon as they make contact.  This time Chuuya kisses him back a little harder, more needy. It makes Dazai’s chest tingle. 

Dazai’s arms slowly travel up Chuuya’s spine, gaining a shiver from the redhead. His hands find purchase in the boy's hair, letting the loose curls weave between his fingers. 

Chuuya makes an inaudible noise in the back of his throat as he leans back quickly, making Dazai’s eyes snap open. 

Chuuya’s face is twisted in a pained look and now Dazai is on edge. 

“What just happened?” Dazai whispers, loosening his arms from around the boy. 

“I can’t—“ Chuuya’s arms unwrap from around him as he pushes the brunette to get off of him. 

Dazai’s stomach drops. Did he do something wrong? Does Chuuya think this was a mistake?

“Can’t what, Chuuya?” He asks as he watches the boy stumble completely off the bed now. 

“Gonna—“ Chuuya’s hands cup around his mouth. The next muffled words that come out of his mouth have Dazai jumping off the bed. “Gonna throw up.”

Oh god. 

Nothing is more embarrassing than making out with a guy and needing to throw up all the alcohol you ingested. 

He was trying to put it off. He didn’t want to throw up. He hates throwing up, and kissing Dazai seemed like the better option. Apparently your body does what it wants, when it wants. 

What Chuuya wasn’t expecting was for Dazai to rush into the bathroom with him and hold his hair back while he emptied his whole stomach into the toilet. Dazai’s other hand scratches light comforting circles around his back making him want to cry because of how tender it is. 

Chuuya’s emotions tend to go all over the place when he’s intoxicated if you didn’t know that by now. 

He coughs, head hanging low over the toilet. “I’m sorry.” He says in a small, wet voice. 

Dazai shakes his head. “You are fine. It’s okay.” He knew Chuuya drank too much. He should have cut the boy off sooner, apparently. 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.” He says, tears starting to prick in his eyes. 

And now Dazai’s a little stressed because he isn’t very good at comforting people. “Chuuya, get off the floor.”

Chuuya looks up at him, pouting. Dazai tries to hide his smile at how cute it looks. It’s like he’s a sad little puppy. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“I’m so embarrassed,” Chuuya says as Dazai wraps his arms around the boy to get him to his feet. 

“Don’t be. These things happen when people drink.” 

“You don’t throw up in the middle of making out.” Chuuya whines as Dazai sets him down on the bed. Instantly Chuuya curls up around himself as the other covers him up with the blankets.

“At least you didn’t throw up on me.” Dazai says with a smile, making Chuuya feel even more embarrassed that this is even happening right now.

“Please,” Chuuya groans, closing his eyes. The room is spinning. “Don’t ever bring this up again.”

Dazai hum. “Okay, Chuuya.” He’s definitely bringing it up again. No questions asked. 

Chuuya relaxes a little, now more focused on his breathing than anything. Inhale, exhale. 

“Goodnight.” Dazai whispers as he moves the red strands out of Chuuya’s face. All he gets back in return is a little huff, making him smile. 

He quietly leaves Chuuya’s room once the boy’s breathing seems to even out. 

Chapter Text

The next four days all get blurred together. If you asked Dazai what he did in those past few days he would only have one word for you: Chuuya. 

That’s what he did and that’s what he’s going to keep doing. 

When Dazai agreed to be friends with benefits with Chuuya he wasn’t expecting Chuuya to be a sex fiend. Chuuya is greedy, but Dazai doesn’t mind at all.  

He will indulge while he still gets the chance to see Chuuya wrapped around him. It’s now one of Dazai’s new favorite pastimes. So, that is why he came up with this brilliant idea. 

He knocks on Chuuya’s door after everyone makes their way to their bedrooms for the night. 

The door swings open, but as soon as Chuuya takes in the sight in front of him he pauses, scowling. “What are you doing?”

Dazai smiles, holding up a small duffle bag, fully dressed. Shoes and all. “What does it look like, Chuuya?”

“It looks like you didn’t come here to fuck me.”

Dazai smiles even wider. “We are leaving.”

He blinks. “Leaving?”

He strides past Chuuya and finds a pair of shoes for the boy. “Put these on.” He says as he drops sneakers by the redhead’s feet then turns back around to rummage through the other’s wardrobe. 

Chuuya scowls, but bends down to slip the shoes on anyway. “Are you gonna tell me what the fuck you’re doing, or you gonna keep being all sneaky?”

“I booked us a hotel for the night.” Dazai hums as he tugs on Chuuya’s wrist to get him moving. 

He stumbles forward, letting himself be dragged out of the house. “Oh.” 

And If Chuuya’s stomach did a couple of summersaults at the thought of Dazai buying a hotel just for the two of them– then, no, no it didn’t. Because he can’t feel any type of way for this bastard of a brunette no matter how handsome he can be at times.

Especially tonight. Dazai is wearing a nice black silk button-down that’s rolled up to his elbows, the white bandages a stark contrast in color, with a pair of black khakis. Chuuya hasn’t brought up the fact that Dazai never fully undresses during sex. He, obviously, assumed it had something to do with the bandages, but he couldn’t help but wonder if it was also, for the fact, that Dazai doesn’t want to get too intimate with Chuuya. 

Which, Chuuya shouldn’t be annoyed or even surprised by that idea. It would be ridiculous for Chuuya to think Dazai would ever want anything so intimate with him. So then why does the idea of Dazai wanting someone else that closely bother him so much?

Whatever, he pushes that thought aside as soon as they make it out the front doors.

“And how the hell do you plan on getting us to this hotel, jackass?” Chuuya says, putting his hands on his hips as Dazai finally lets go of his wrist. He’s wearing red plaid pajama pants and a fucking oversized band t-shirt from the ‘red hot chili peppers.’ So going anywhere in public right now already puts Chuuya on edge. Especially because he likes to dress to impress every time he leaves the house. Dazai just didn’t give him much of a chance to today despite the brunette looking well put together. 

“Chuuya always has no faith in me,” Dazai says, pouting when Chuuya agrees with him.

Then the brunette lifts a set of keys. Those keys Chuuya is fairly familiar with– they are Ranpo’s convertible keys. 

“There’s no fucking way he let you have those,” Chuuya says, despite still following Dazai to the car, and slipping into the passenger seat. He watches as Dazai tosses the duffle bag in the back seat before making his way to the driver's side.

“See? Such little faith in me,” The brunette says, twisting the key into the ignition and giving Chuuya an innocent smile.

Chuuya rolls his eyes, not giving in to it. “If you get us in trouble, I’m not backing you up.”

“Don’t even worry, doll.”

“Please. Don’t call me that.”

“Aw, but you love it in bed ow–! Chuuya’s so mea– ow, Okay, okay!”

Chuuya glares at him, holding his fist up as Dazai backs out, just in case he needs to give the brunette one more good smacking. Why did Chuuya agree to this? He doesn’t know. 

It’s a little past midnight, so the roads are fairly empty besides a few cars here and there. The breeze is warm and it smells like salt water. Something Chuuya could get used to.

He closes his eyes, letting the breeze blow through his curly strands. 

Dazai looks over occasionally. It’s quiet in the car, which is giving the brunette an odd sense of comfort. Getting comfort in any situation with Chuuya is already mind-blowing enough for him. He doesn’t let himself think too deep into that rabbit hole.

So instead he just continues to glance at Chuuya every chance he gets as they drive to their destination. Chuuya looks oddly relaxed and even less odd, pretty. Dazai had finally come to terms that he is slightly– the little bit slightest of slight– attracted to Chuuya. (He secretly finds him gorgeous, but he would never utter that even in his own head)

The way Chuuya’s oversized shirt drapes off his shoulder, leaving freckled skin peeking through it. The way Chuuya hums contently when the wind picks up speed sending a warm gust of wind through his soft, long hair. And those long, pretty eyelashes that rest against his pale cheeks as he closes his eyes. It’s definitely a sight to stare at. If Dazai weren’t such a pussy he might even want to take a picture of the other– for no reason at all, of course, just to annoy him. 

Dazai looks back at the road, cursing under his breath as he swerves a little. There was a fucking chicken in the road and he was too distracted watching Chuuya.

“Fuck, you stupid idiot,” Chuuya mutters, gripping white-knuckled against the leather seat as he sways with the car, eyes now on Dazai.

Yeah, Dazai likes him better with that pretty little mouth shut.

“It’s not my fault there was a chicken on the road! Why do they even have chickens in Greece!?”

“Maybe keep your damn eyes on the road, god, I don’t know how anyone can put up with you.”

Dazai chooses to ignore him.

They sit in silence for only another minute before Chuuya breaks it again.

“What did you put in that duffle bag anyway? It’s not like we are staying for more than one night.”

Dazai smirks, keeping his eyes trained on the road as he can feel Chuuya’s gaze burning holes in the side of his head. “Don’t you like surprises, Chuuy–”

“No.”

The brunette chuckles. “Well too bad! I’m not gonna tell you~” he sing-songs.

“I’ll just look myself then!” Chuuya threatens, twisting around to grab the duffle bag.

Tck, such an impatient, short man, Dazai thinks.

“If you open that duffle bag before we get there, I’ll turn this car around.”

Chuuya freezes, hand still gripping onto the zipper. He turns his head over his shoulder looking back towards the front. “Are you really threatening me right now? With ‘ turning the car around,’ out of all things?”

Dazai hums, turning around to give Chuuya the most shit-eating grin he can muster once the car is stopped at a light. “Open it, if you want to go home.”

Chuuya glares at him for a second, frozen in place before he sighs and plops back down in his seat. He crosses his arms over his chest, grumbling, “I don’t care what’s in the damn bag anyway.”

Dazai gently hits the accelerator when the light changes. He can’t really explain the feeling he gets in his stomach knowing Chuuya wants to go to the hotel with him.

“Now sit tight, we are almost there.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, “‘Kay dad.”

“Woah! Chuuya you’re only allowed to call me that in bed!”

“Dazai–!”

—

It doesn’t take them long to check-in. The hotel is actually really nice, Chuuya realized once they got in. But, he shouldn’t be surprised when he saw how nice Dazai’s place back in Japan was. 

He easily gets them two key cards and heads for the elevator, Chuuya following right behind him in step. 

“This is way too much,” The redhead mutters, standing next to Dazai in the elevator as the brunette presses the button for the 15th floor. He feels out of place, rocking back and forth on his heels in an attempt to distract himself.

“Chuuya, don’t be dramatic. This is hardly anything compared to the other places here in Greece.”

The redhead’s eye twitches. Dazai is so insufferable he can’t stand it. 

They settle into a tense silence until the elevator dings and the doors slide open. Dazai leads the way, seeming confident enough to know where he’s going despite the fact he has never been here before. 

When the door opens Chuuya can’t help but gawk at the sight. The room is stunning. There’s a huge king-sized bed, draped in white silk bedding. Next to the bed are two mahogany-colored wood bedside tables. Then there’s the huge floor-to-ceiling window that blesses them with the sight of a thousand twinkling lights of buildings and ocean that Chuuya can’t take his eyes off of. On the left side of the bed, there’s a cream-colored fur chair, the walls are covered in numerous paintings. 

Really, the most beautiful hotel room Chuuya had ever been in. 

“Please, stand there and stare all night. We have all the time in the world.” Dazai so rudely interjects as he tosses the duffle bag into the chair. 

Chuuya scowls, kicking his shoes off and then jumping back first onto the bed. His red hair spreads out like a fiery lion mane around his head as he looks up at the ceiling. 

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me-“ Chuuya groans as he’s met with his own reflection above his head. 

Dazai smirks, standing there staring at Chuuya as he’s sprawled out like a starfish. “Comfy?”

“You know—“ Chuuya says, turning his head to meet eyes with Dazai lazily.  “It’s bad juju to sleep with a mirror on you.”

“Who said anything about sleeping?” The brunette coos, tilting his head to the point his brown mop of hair falls perfectly to the side. 

Chuuya’s face feels warm as he works up his best scowl at the idiot. “I’m j’st sayin” he mutters as he watches Dazai slowly make his way to the bed. Feeling it dip once the other’s knees dig into the plush mattress. 

Chuuya’s body lulls into the dip, already feeling the hot tension radiating off Dazai. He’s not sure if he should be nervous or excited. 

“Now–” Chuuya swallows hard as Dazai drapes his body over him. The brunette’s knees and hands bracket him in place flush against the bed. “Are you going to tell me what’s in that duffle bag?”

Dazai smirks, his wavy bangs hanging down as he looks at the redhead underneath him, “We aren’t there yet.” He whispers, low and dangerous.

Chuuya chuckles, only from the nervous pull in his stomach, “I’m not sure I understand.” He whispers.

“That's for me to know, and you to find out,” Dazai says, slowly lowering himself onto his elbows until he’s only a breath away from Chuuya’s lips. “But, I can promise you’ll like it, trust me.”

It takes everything in Chuuya not to roll his eyes, but it’s almost as easy as breathing when he reaches up to grab Dazai by the collar and pull him into a dizzying kiss. 

For some reason, the slide of their lips sends a rush of adrenaline through the redhead. He isn’t sure if it’s from the anticipation of being in a hotel, and knowing they can be as loud as they want or what. But it’s a feeling that steals his breath away and has his organs twisting in on each other. 

Does sneaking out to a hotel together go against all one thousand rules on Fake Dating 101? No seriously, who does this!? Apparently, they do.

It’s not like they care or anything.

A moan slips past Chuuya’s lips and into Dazai’s mouth as the brunette shifts his hips to grind their already-growing erections together. 

He snakes his hands around the nape of Dazai’s neck to hold the brunette in place. His fingers dig into the short fringes of hair at the base of his head, eliciting a hum from the other.

Dazai’s tongue soon finds its way between Chuuya’s lips as it always does now. The taste of coffee lingering on his tongue— cocky bastard already knew Chuuya would agree to come to the hotel. Caffeine already in his system for the long night ahead of them. 

They take their time engraving the taste of each other into their mind before Dazai begins making his way down Chuuya’s jawline, stopping at his neck for a few minutes to darken the already fading marks from a few days ago. 

“Your–” The redhead gasps when he feels a cold hand running up his shirt, cooling down his heated skin. “Your fancy ass clothes are gonna wrinkle. You're a fool wearing that knowing it’s gonna get dirty– Ah-!”

Dazai bites down a little harder on Chuuya’s pulse point as punishment. “Are you questioning me, doll? I told you to trust me.”

“Your lucky I’m horny, bastard.”

Dazai hums, sliding down until he’s settled between Chuuya’s legs, lifting the oversized shirt till it pools at the redhead’s chest and beginning to work the pajama pants off, “You sure know how to talk dirty, sweetheart.”

Chuuya lifts his hips in an attempt to help the brunette slide his pants off for him while his hands work to assault Dazai’s brown mop on his head. He likes it when Dazai looks disheveled after sex. 

Once he’s naked from the waist down he props himself on his elbows to look at the brunette between his legs. It’s a familiar sight now, only today in a hotel rather than Chuuya’s room with their whole family on the other end of the door. “Are you gonna take your clothes off?”

Dazai smiles, long fingers massaging Chuuya’s pale thighs as he looks into those hazy blue eyes. “Not yet.”

“And did you bring any–”

“In the bag, let me grab it.”

Dazai jumps up really quick to grab the duffle bag. It’s cold where the other’s body isn’t anymore and Chuuya lays back down completely, staring at himself in the mirror above. 

He stares at his almost completely naked body as he hears Dazai rummaging through the bag. He would peak, but he’s pretty sure Dazai would punish him in some way for it. Chuuya would rather not find out how that would go, especially when he’s almost already completely hard and in need of attention. 

He does not want to go home or have his orgasm prolonged longer than Dazai already has thought up in that shitty head of his. 

Because Chuuya is fully aware of the fact that Dazai likes to ‘take his time’. He’s learned that the hard way the past few days. The redhead bitches about it every time, but deep down he loves how long it takes. It makes his orgasms ten times better. 

Chuuya looks over when he sees Dazai make his way back with–

“What the fuck.”

Dazai grins. “What?”

Chuuya scowls at Dazai’s shitty attempt in feining indifference when he sees a red silk blindfold between the bastard's fingers. His other hand is hidden behind him to hide anything else he has in them.

“You expect me to–”

“I thought I told you to trust me.”

“With that?!” Chuuya gapes, watching as Dazai hides a few items under the blanket and claims his spot between Chuuya’s thighs again. 

He nods, “I promised you would like it, didn’t I?” Dazai asks as he grabs Chuuya’s shirt to lift the boy up. Chuuya follows, sitting up which the brunette beams at. “You don’t have to wear it, but it will enhance your pleasure.”

Chuuya blinks, ready to smack Dazai a couple of times, but he won’t lie and say he isn’t intrigued. 

“Put the damn thing on me,” He tries to snap confidently, but it comes out unsure as a nervous chill runs down his spine.

Dazai lifts the blindfold, working to tie it as gently as possible behind Chuuya’s head. He doesn’t want to get his pretty hair tangled in it. The last thing Chuuya sees before his vision goes dark is Dazai’s sinister grin.

The brunette gently lays Chuuya back down. The redhead’s thighs tighten around Dazai as he bites his lower lip. “Where did you even get this?”

Dazai tsks, back to massaging and kissing Chuuya’s thighs so the redhead knows where he’s at, “You ask too many questions, doll.”

Chuuya lays there, hands gripping the white sheets and he looks gorgeous. Dazai looks up at him as he peppers the other in kisses from his knee all the way up his thigh to his groin. His chest is rising and falling sporadically with nerves and anticipation, his lip is turning swollen between his teeth, neck covered in dark markings, and blue eyes hidden behind a veil of red. 

A perfect view for Dazai while he gets ready to torture the boy for the next few hours. 

Chuuya gasps when Dazai’s fingers wrap around the base of his cock, his hips shuffling against the mattress impatiently. 

He has never been this vulnerable for someone— not even for Shirase. This is a new experience for Chuuya; he seems to have a lot of those with Dazai, not that he minds.

No matter how many times Chuuya shuts off any wondering thoughts about Dazai– he can’t take away the fact he trusts him more than he probably should.

“What’s the hold– ahugh fuck.” Chuuya groans as Dazai’s warm mouth finally envelopes the head of his cock. His tongue swirling before hollowing his cheeks and dropping his head down a few inches. 

He arches his back when one of Dazai’s hands squeezes his hip in a bruising grip. Both his hand and mouth go straight into abusing Chuuya’s cock. 

“Holy fuck, Dazai,” He pants as he wraps one leg over the brunette’s shoulder to keep him there. Dazai hums, satisfied to keep bobbing his head up and down to watch Chuuya squirm. 

After a few minutes of attention, the pace slows down. Dazai drags his head to the tip, swiping his tongue through the slit where precum began to accumulate. He pops off to drag his tongue down the length. It elicits a sharp inhale from Chuuya and a moan barely concealed. 

He reaches his hand out to fumble for the items under the blanket. He feels all three, but only takes the lube out. 

Chuuya listens as the snap of a lid being opened. He’s assuming it’s lube though anything could be possible at this point. He never thought he would enjoy having one of his senses taken away. It makes every little flick of the tongue, stroke of the hand, and noise all more exciting. 

Dazai leaves Chuuya for a second, still wrapped around one of the redhead’s thighs, but his hands and mouth aren’t focused on him right now. Chuuya shifts impatient and nervously as Dazai squirts a generous amount of lube on his fingers.

He rubs them together to try and warm it as much as possible– especially because the cold will be more shocking now that Chuuya can’t see anything.

“I’m going to touch you now,” Dazai whispers, his breath fanning over Chuuya’s cock making it jump. He smiles when Chuuya nods, squeezing the sheets tighter to brace himself. 

“Oh shit,” Chuuya gasps once he feels a finger circle his rim before pressing slightly inside of him. The feeling is ten times more enhanced but he curses the fact he can’t watch in the mirror. “Daz– ah,” the finger presses deeper, “I wanna– see.”

Dazai grins against Chuuya’s thigh, kissing it occasionally as he pushes his finger all the way through the ring of muscles until his knuckle is flush against hot skin. The way the muscles tense and relax around his finger has his own slacks tightening. “Don’t worry sweetheart, you won’t have the blindfold on all night.”

Chuuya grumbles, blinking behind the red blindfold. His irritation quickly dissipates when he feels Dazai’s finger start to work him open. 

The pressure as a second finger getting pushed in is almost too much, only for the fact he can’t see. The only thing grounding him is the fact that Dazai’s lips don’t leave his thigh as his other hand rubs soothing circles on his hip.

“Mmm, you’re doing so well,” Dazai whispers as he watches his fingers scissor Chuuya open even farther. The groans from the redhead encourage him to pick up the pace and add one more finger.

“Can we just move on?” Chuuya asks, a little breathless as Dazai’s finger brushes against his prostate. 

Dazai shakes his head, knowing Chuuya can’t see him, “Don’t you know me well enough, Chuuya? You aren’t going to get what you want that easily.”

Chuuya fights the verge to roll his eyes behind the silk, knowing Dazai can’t see it anyway. The brunette probably has enough sense to know it would come if there wasn’t anything in the way. He rolls his hips instead, chasing the building pressure in his core.

“J’st–” Chuuya bites his lip to muffle a moan when Dazai’s fingers curl inside him– finally hitting his bundle of nerves head-on. “Shit–”

Dazai grins, licking and biting at the sensitive skin of Chuuya’s thigh. As much as he would love to see Chuuya come completely undone right now on his fingers—

He has other plans. 

Chuuya grinds his hips against Dazai’s hand as Dazai drags him closer to the edge. He groans and pants, feeling the blindfold start to stick to his sweaty skin. Chuuya’s hands grip tighter in the sheets and now that he’s got to experience this blindfolded— he’s not sure he wants to without again. 

That is, until he’s right on the edge and Dazai’s hand slips out of him faster than he can comprehend. He gasps at the sudden feeling of being empty. “ Daz – what the hell?”

Dazai chuckles, reaching under the blanket, “Calm down, Chuuya, so needy.”

The redhead is about to rip the blindfold off and give Dazai a piece of his mind, but before he can do that— something is getting shoved back in him.

His eyes widen behind the blindfold as his legs tense around Dazai. “Did you just put a…” He shifts his hips, feeling the cold foreign material that’s been shoved up inside of him. ‘Is this a fucking plug?”

Dazai grins, humming as he wraps his fingers around the little remote that controls it, slowly sliding the knob to turn on the low buzz. “Such a good guesser you are, sweetheart.”

Chuuya groans, arching his back off the bed as his legs tense around Dazai. “You’re a bastard… what do I need this–?”

Dazai quickly removes the blindfold, leaving the low vibrations on as he watches Chuuya squint his eyes as his vision suddenly comes back to him.

Chuuya blinks up, looking at himself disheaved, and reddened in the mirror with Dazai between his thighs. It’s an erotic scene, one that has his cock jumping, and breath hitching.

Dazai smiles, slowly removing Chuuya’s legs from around him. The redhead looks down finally and the brunette’s smile turns into a grin. “You ready?”

Blue eyes narrow, his stomach twisting on itself as Dazai grabs his wrist to help him sit up. “Ready for… what, asshole?” He shifts his hips as he finally sits upright, trying to get used to the feeling of the low buzz inside of him. 

“Dinner.”

Chuuya’s breath shallows, his eyes widening. ‘What the fuck? There is no way in hell I'm going to—”

His voice gets cut off with a sharp, much stronger buzz inside of him. The plug hits his prostate causing his back to straighten and his breath to stutter. “Fu–”

Dazai grins, slowing the plug back down as he grabs a towel and cleans off his hand. “Easy there, doll. I’m in control now, you better watch the way you talk to me.”

Chuuya grits his teeth, “I don’t even have anything to wear to dinner… why can’t you just fuck me?”

A gleam in Dazai’s eye tells him his night is going to get a whole lot worse as Dazai opens the duffle bag, throwing an outfit towards Chuuya. “I came prepared, of course.”

“Of course,” Chuuya grumbles, looking down at his clothes that’s been tossed in his lap. 

“Now get ready, sweetheart. Reservations are in ten minutes down in the lobby restaurant.”

Chuuya groans, squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to calm his breath. The constant buzz inside him isn’t enough to tip him over the edge, just enough to keep him wishing it were.

Nothing good can come out of this night. 

—

“And for your drink sir?”

Chuuya glares at Dazai, sweat trickling down his spine. He feels like he’s been ripped open for everyone in this stupid fancy restaurant to see him fall apart. The constant buzz isn’t so bad anymore if he pretends it isn’t there, but the need for an orgasm is still, in fact, there. 

Dazai looks at the waiter innocently, like there isn’t a torturing remote tucked away nicely in his pocket. “We will take your cabernet, please.”

The waiter nods, swiftly making his way to the back room with a quick ‘right away, sir’ and a small glance over to Chuuya.

Chuuya nods, glad Dazai has enough decency to get him a nice wine to go along with his slow agonizing death. And, no Chuuya is not being dramatic. Dazai thought it would be funny to crank the vibrations up all the way during the elevator ride down. 

The intensity of it almost made Chuuya finally get that stupid release he desperately needed before the elevator stopped on the third floor– and a whole family walked in.

The buzzing stopped immediately, forcing Chuuya to gasp, eyes wide as he reached for Dazai’s arm to squeeze it as tight as he could, just to punish the brunette. Dazai snicked, despite the pain. Chuuya wanted to beat the shit out of him right then and there. All the while the family awkwardly stood on the other end of the elevator, watching the two from the corner of their eyes for the last few floors down.

So, in all. Dazai is an asshole who gets off on watching Chuuya suffer. That is what he had concluded as he sat here waiting for his wine that he would, in fact, chug. 

“What would you like, Chuuya?” Dazai asks, eyes never leaving the menu. “I think I’ll take the crab…”

Chuuya raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat, “Is that expensive?”

The brunette looks up, a confused furrow in his brow, “Yes–?”

“Then I’ll take that too, thanks.”

Dazai smirks, his hand leaving the menu to slide under the table. Chuuya grimaces, bracing himself for what’s to come.

As soon as the buzzing intensifies, he clutches onto the table cloth, cursing under his breath and asking himself why he even went along with this plan in the first place.

“Good choice, Chuuya. I would bet the crab here in Greece is exquisite.”

Chuuya groans slightly, feeling the heat building in his core, “Just… shut the fuck up for once in your goddamn life.”

Dazai grins, slowing down the plug, “Oh darling, you’ll regret saying such rude things to me.”

He takes a breath, shifting his hips. He’s glad the restaurant has cloth draped over the table– or everyone would definitely know exactly what’s going on with Chuuya. Instead they probably all think he’s in pain by his reddened cheeks, sweat building in his hairline, and panting breaths. 

Or, at least he hopes they think he’s in pain, because if anyone knew it was pleasure– well, he would never show his face in public again. Except it almost is more pain than pleasure at this point since it’s been dragged out for so long. 

“I don’t doubt it,” He grits through his teeth. 

It’s quiet after that for a few minutes as they wait for the wine. Chuuya barely registers the low vibrations now as his mind wanders. 

It’s funny really, him being here in this restaurant with Dazai out of all people. If he were in this same situation with anyone else… well, it wouldn’t be as satisfying. The truth is a pain in the ass sometimes. 

He’s enjoying spending the night here with Dazai, as much as he hates to admit it. And, even though the asshole is fucking with him so much… it’s still fun. He still would never want to do this with anyone else.

Seeing Dazai on the other end of the table, dressed nicely, but still a little disheveled from the bedroom right before has Chuuya’s chest warm and his lips turning up in a small smile. Not that he would ever let Dazai know he’s the reason for Chuuya to feel this way. 

He would rather die before admitting something like that.

The brunette would probably laugh in his face for saying such asinine sentiments. He would beat the shit out of Dazai for that, then fly all the way back to Japan to bury himself six feet under.

Chuuya narrows his eyes at Dazai, irritated just from the thought of Dazai laughing at him. 

Dazai just blinks, tilting his head from the unexpected animosity across the table. Before he looks too much into it, the waiter comes back with the wine. He smirks. 

The waiter shows the bottle to make sure the two men are satisfied before opening and pouring a glass for both men. 

“Thank you,” Chuuya mumbles before snatching the bottle off the table and taking two big gulps. The waiter looks at him with widened eyes, clearing his throat.

“And have you two gentlemen decided on what you want to eat?” 

Chuuya nods, picking up the menu and scanning over it for a second. “Yeah, I’ll try your Alaskan King Cr- ahh, mmph” He squeezes his eyes shut, ready to snap at Dazai. The intensity of the vibrations shot up all the way, causing him to squeeze his legs together, choking to hold back a moan.

The waiter straightens up, eyes widen with panic. “Sir? Are– are you okay?”

Dazai grins, watching as Chuuya takes a deep breath, not sparing a glance over at the brunette.

Chuuya grimaces, looking back up at the waiter, “‘M fine.” He grits through his teeth, his core growing hot with each passing second, getting closer to the edge of an orgasm. “The crab, f– I’ll take the Alaskan King Crab Legs,” He breathes out quickly, adding on a ‘please’ that really just sounds like a whimper.

The sight of Chuuya struggling to keep his composure, along with the pleading tone of his voice has Dazai’s grin wavering. His own need tightening in his slacks. He curses Chuuya inwardly even though he himself is the only one to blame here.

The waiter gives Chuuya a weary look, nodding before sparing Chuuya some dignity and tearing his eyes away to look over at Dazai. “Uh… and, you sir?”

Chuuya grabs his wine again with a shaky hand, downing the entire thing to muffle his groan. If Dazai doesn’t shut the vibrations off soon then he’s going to have the most embarrassing orgasm of his life.

Dazai eyes Chuuya, his hand tightening on the remote in his pocket. “I’ll take the same, thank you.”

The waiter nods, “Anything else I can get you..” He watches as Chuuya snatches up the bottle, pouring himself another glass almost to the brim. 

“Wine.” He arches his back slightly, “More wine, please.”

Dazai nods, quickly shutting off the plug as the waiter leaves to grab another bottle. Chuuya groans, banging his head against the table.

“I am going to kill you… I swear.” He breathes out, unable to put any bite in his tone as tears sting his eyes from the pleasure that got abruptly taken away from him, again. 

Over and over and over… and fucking over. He’s not sure he can take this drawn-out orgasm anymore. 

And, If Dazai were a better man he would take pity on Chuuya. He hasn’t reached that level of insanity yet though.  His pity for Chuuya will come when the world stops turning on its axis, so, for now, he will indulge in all the ways he can make Chuuya suffer. Later he will make up for it, but first–

First, he wants to enjoy some expensive crab. 

It doesn’t take very long for the crab and second bottle of wine to come out. The waiter decided to make his trip quick, not wanting to figure out what was going on with the redhead. It’s not that Chuuya minds. He was rather relieved to not have to experience that twice.

Dazai had been nice enough for the first few bites to keep the vibrations to a minimum. Chuuya has almost finally gotten comfortable again, his erection softening and his wine going down smoothly. 

“This is actually pretty fucking good,” Chuuya hums as he takes a bite, “Surprised you had it in you to treat someone to a nice…” He winces, “Well, as nice as it can be… dinner.”

Dazai smirks, sipping his wine that he doesn’t find very enjoyable. “What can I say, I’m a gentleman. I just didn’t expect you to run up my check like this.” 

The redhead rolls his eyes, “After– after what you put me through tonight, yeah I’m going to fucking drain your account, asshat.”

Dazai hums, sliding the remote up just one notch. It’s enough to make Chuuya notice it, clenching his jaw and gripping just a little harder on the crab leg in his hand. “Well, I must say, you really are giving me my money's worth, doll.”

“You shitty–” He takes a deep breath, eyebrow twitching. “Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it while it fucking lasts because it’s not happening again.”

Dazai grins, enjoying how openly vulgar Chuuya is in such a fancy place. “Oh don’t worry, I am~”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, taking a few more bites of his food. He feels a nice buzz… from his wine. The buzz between his legs is a little less nice, though he can’t deny the fact it makes him want even more of it. Dazai’s stingy to not give him the orgasm he has been denied for over an hour now. 

“How’s med school?” Dazai asks.

Chuuya blinks, another bite halfway between his lips. He hasn’t told anyone he quit yet, but he remembers a year ago telling Dazai he wanted to.

What really sticks out to Chuuya, however, is the terrible timing Dazai has to come up with an actual attempt at a normal conversation between the two of them. It’s rare, you know, normal conversations with Dazai. But, not unwanted.

Maybe this topic is, but talking to Dazai hasn’t been the worst thing recently. Much to Chuuya’s surprise. 

But, he isn’t ready to tell anyone he quit. Word can’t get back to his parents… they already are upset with him enough.

“Med school–” Chuuya hums, he shifts his hips slightly wishing for more friction, “It could be better.” And, that’s not a lie. Chuuya wishes he enjoyed med school while he was in it.

Dazai laughs, shaking his head while tracing his finger around the rim of his wineglass. “You should meet my father, tell him that.”

Chuuya sits up a little straighter, enjoying the sound of Dazai’s laughter. “You said he owns a few hospitals, right?”

Dazai blinks, tilting his head and not wanting to name the feeling he gets as Chuuya recalls something he told him over a year ago. “Yeah, uh Mori Ougai. A real pain in my ass, loved by all of Japan though..”

Chuuya nods, smirking, “Well, I have a feeling he wouldn’t approve of your boyfriend.” 

Dazai grins, “Oh trust me, although you may hate med school; he would still love you more than he loves me… at least you're going.” Dazai hums, “He would probably want to adopt you.”

Chuuya’s smirk falters for a second. Lying about school should be easy; he does it all the time. And, even more so, lying to Dazai should be easier. For some reason, it’s not. 

So, he just nods instead.

Dazai hums, taking the silence in. 

Chuuya eyes him for a second, he’s not drunk, but he’s buzzed enough to be happy and speak his mind. “You know, you aren’t terrible. I’ve met worse people.”

Dazai gives him a crooked smile, “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

A nod, “Take it as you’d like.”

Dazai leans forward, “Oh Chuuya, you flatter me!” And, because Dazai sucks, he has to open his mouth again. “You should learn a thing or two from me.”

The redhead’s eyebrow twitches, “You– ah!” He groans, a little louder than he should have from the sudden jolt inside him. The speed of the vibrations was so intense it hit his prostate dead center. His eyes widen, and his face flushes red as he sinks into his seat, gasping for a breath.

Dazai’s eyes also widen, not expecting such a lewd sound to come out of Chuuya at the dinner table. His heart beats against his chest, watching Chuuya try to calm his breathing as a few heads turn towards them with questioning glares. To think… so many people eating at one am.

That’s what he gets for picking a hotel near the casino. 

Chuuya leans his head back against the seat, glaring up at the ceiling as he tries to calm himself down. “Dazai–” 

The brunette bites his lip, unable to take his eyes away from Chuuya as the redhead struggles to muffle his pleasure. It’s a sinful sight, really. Chuuya’s sharp jawline, flushed cheek, and pale neck were on full display for Dazai to drink up greedily. The darkened marks on his skin from earlier accessorize him beautifully.

“Is everything alright, Chuuya?” Dazai asks, feigning innocence. 

Chuuya grits his teeth, hiding a wave of pleasure behind them as he rubs his legs together. He’s fucking sick of waiting.

He looks back down, glaring at Dazai, though it looks rather weak from where the brunette’s sitting. He leans in, whispering in a low, sultry tone, “Dazai, if you don’t take me back to that damn room right now and get me off… I’m going to the bathroom right now and finishing this myself.”

Dazai’s stomach dips, he reaches out a hand to grab Chuuya’s chin between his fingers, leaning forward. “You wouldn’t dare,” He narrows his eyes.

“I’m going right now,” Chuuya backs away from the grip on his chin, sliding his chair out with a loud screech. Dazai’s eyes widen as Chuuya shivers from the plug.

“Okay, okay,” Dazai gestures for Chuuya to calm down. “I’ll give you what you want– just let me pay.”

Chuuya closes his eyes, tears burning the corners of them as he grips the tablecloth. He can’t take it anymore. It’s starting to become too much. “You better get that damn waiter– now.”

Dazai chuckles nervously, looking around the room to find and flag down the waiter. “Alright, alright. I’ll take care of you… promise.” 

Chapter Text

If you asked Dazai what color the elevator floor was, he wouldn’t be able to tell you.

If you asked him if the elevator stopped between the lobby floor and their floor, he also couldn’t tell you.

He could tell you, however, exactly what cabernet off of Chuuya’s lips tastes like.

And let him tell you, it is by far the best wine he’s ever tasted. 

As soon as Dazai paid– leaving the waiter a fat tip for the many awkward encounters at the table– Chuuya was all but dragging him to the elevator. 

Dazai learned early on in the time that they have been in Greece to cancel out Chuuya’s bitching as if it were just white noise. He’s sure if he had a recording on repeat of all the insults and curse words Chuuya could spit at Dazai in under a minute– he would experience the best sleep of his life. And let it be known, he’s an expert at the whole insomniac thing, so that would be shocking in the least.

That being said, Chuuya bitched the entire way to the elevator, not that Dazai understood a single word. Blocking out Chuuya’s running mouth is quite an easy task when looking at him takes all of Dazai’s focus away from the rest of his surroundings.  

Here and there he let out a half-hearted reply, more focused on what it will feel like to have the redhead’s heated skin under the pads of his fingertips again as soon as they make it to the room. 

And, that’s when Dazai loses even more of his focus.

As soon as the elevator doors closed Chuuya punched the button for floor number fifteen before his fist came for Dazai in a weak attempted form of payback.

Dazai easily caught the punch, pulling Chuuya towards him as he wrapped his other arm around the redhead’s waist and kissed him so deeply his own head became utterly blank. 

He let go of Chuuya’s fist, cupping the back of his head, efficiently tangling his fingers through silky auburn hair. Chuuya lets out a heavy sigh of relief as he kisses Dazai back just as intently. His chest is flush against Dazai’s, fingernails digging into the brunette’s cheeks as if he were afraid Dazai would pull away too soon.

Of course, Dazai would never dare.

Their tongues fight against each other in a desperate battle for dominance, breaths ragged, and blood pumping so loud they can hear it.

Once the elevator doors slide open with a ‘pang’ indicating they made it to their floor, Chuuya coaxes Dazai down the dimly lit halls with a hand to the chest, never breaking free for oxygen.  

They stumble, grinning against each other’s lips, their veins buzzing with anticipation for what they’ve been holding off on all night. Once they make it to their destination, Dazai pushes Chuuya against the door, his knee between his thighs to hold him in place as he breaks away from their slick, heated kiss for a moment.

Chuuya lets out a strangled huff of dissatisfaction, his nostrils flaring and eyes blinking open. Dazai fumbles the keycard, with one hand, tracing his other down Chuuya’s clothed abdomen. “Patience, I promised I’d take care of you and I will .”

Just then the lock lights green, and Dazai opens the door; sending Chuuya stumbling back. He grabs the brunette’s shirt collar on the way, capturing his lips against his own again, more teeth and tongue than anything.

And, Dazai has no choice but to give Chuuya what he wants, devouring him in an all-consuming, relentless kiss. 

“Dazai–” Chuuya rasps out as his back becomes flush against the mattress, the brunette is already working his way down Chuuya’s jaw before sucking and licking at his adam’s apple.

Chuuya groans, extending his neck for better access as he stares up at his reflection with half-lidded eyes. 

The image is so lewd, so sinful it has Chuuya’s organs plummeting as his grip tightens in chocolate hair. 

His legs are wrapped around Dazai’s narrow waist, the brunette’s broad shoulders and chest almost completely covering Chuuya’s body beneath him. His hair is a fiery halo around him as he lay against the Casper white sheets, back arching once he feels Dazai’s hand dip beneath his waistband.

This, this is what he’s been waiting for, he thinks as Dazai slowly pulls his pants and underwear down.

He can finally get that release he so desperately needs, he thinks as he feels Dazai gently tug the plug out of him. It sends a shiver down his spine as his lips open around a low whine at how empty it makes him feel after being in him all this time.

“Fuck— I’m ready, I’m so–” Dazai’s tongue drags across the thigh they had now been sucking on, his teeth pulling against his skin as he pops off, a smirk spreading across his kiss-swollen lips at Chuuya’s breathless tone.

“Are you? I would have never guessed.” 

Chuuya brings his hands up to scrub them down his face before digging his elbows into the sheets to scoot himself farther onto the mattress, “I swear if you don’t take your goddamn pants off, Dazai.”

The brunette tsks, hands already reaching for his zipper as his knees press into the bed between the shorter’s thighs. Denying Chuuya any longer is not only weighing down on Chuuya but it’s now making it even harder for Dazai to restrain himself. So, for both of their sakes, he will finally give the redhead what he wants. A well-deserved orgasm. 

Once his own clothes get kicked off, his hands unbutton his shirt as Chuuya throws his own over his head. The lube that was left on the bed from earlier gets tossed at Dazai rather aggressively if you ask him; he barely fumbles to catch it with a soft chuckle.

“This is the thanks I get for finally giving you what you want?” He asks, reaching for the duffle bag and pulling out a condom before settling back between the redhead’s thighs, and unwrapping it.

Chuuya gives him an unimpressed look, though his cheeks are blotchy, hair sticking to his forehead, and chest heaving. It doesn’t help with the look he tries to accomplish, but it’s the sentiments behind it that matter. Dazai will give him an A for effort. “You’ll never get a ‘thank you’ from me after the shit you’ve put me through tonight.”

“Never say never, sweetheart,” Dazai murmurs as he gives himself a few pumps, lathering the condom around his hardened cock with lube. His free arm holds him up on the mattress against Chuuya’s side as he leans down to kiss the other’s navel. 

Chuuya’s breath catches in his throat, muscles quivering under the gentle press of Dazai’s lips before the brunette leans back up, smirking at the hazy, lust-filled gaze burning into his soul. 

Chuuya’s legs are stretched out, cock hard and flushed against his stomach as his grip tightens in the sheets with each passing second. 

Though, Dazai can’t wait another.

He grabs Chuuya’s hips in a bruising grip, pulling him down which elicits a surprised yelp from the boy. He lifts him up slightly, his lower back and ass coming off the mattress as Dazai lines himself against the ring of muscles. 

“Now, before–”

“Dazai. Fucking please, don’t make me beg.” 

Dazai grins wolfishly, finally pushing through Chuuya. The redhead shutters as his mouth hangs open in a silent moan, feeling Dazai slowly slide further inside him. The stretch is so much more than the plug that’s been holding him open for the past hour, it’s almost too much– but he’s desperate for more at the same time. 

Once Dazai bottoms out– his balls flush against Chuuya’s ass– they let out a low groan in response.

Chuuya squirms, sucking in a sharp breath as his legs scramble for a better hold on Dazai’s waist because fuck– finally.

Dazai holds still for a moment, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb against Chuuya’s hip bone until he relaxes completely. “There you are, now let me treat you for being so good for me all night.” He praises, finally pulling back until the head of his cock is the only thing left in Chuuya. 

Chuuya opens his mouth to respond before the air gets punched out of his lungs when Dazai slams back into him. The only noise he gets out is a strangled moan, arching his back. “Oh, gods.”

Dazai curses under his breath, grinning down at Chuuya as he tightens his grip on the flesh of his hips, thrusting repeatedly, angling just right to hit that sweet spot. The heat of Chuuya around him is almost overbearing. “Just Dazai is fine, though it’s a real ego-booster, doll.”

“You cocky bastard.” Chuuya breathes out, he’s a quickly withering mess with each thrust. 

Dazai chuckles, but it quickly turns to a groan when he feels Chuuya tighten around him, causing his pace to stutter. 

Chuuya’s weak attempt at a smirk is all Dazai needs to know he did it on purpose. 

“I’d watch that mouth of yours. You should have learned by now how to behave.” He rasps out between relentlessly thrusts. “I doubt you’d want to prolong what you need most from me, Chuuya.” 

The redhead’s shaking his head, sweat beading at his hairline as he gasps for air. His thighs are trembling, tears building in the corner of his eyes from hours of being on edge. 

The sight alone— Chuuya vulnerable and pretty beneath Dazai— has all the air sucked out of his lungs. 

He drops forward, catching himself on one elbow as he brings his clean hand up to hold Chuuya’s chin, never slowing down the rhythm of his hips. “Fuck, you are gorgeous.” He rasps, parting Chuuya’s perfect plump lips with his thumb. 

Chuuya’s jaw unhinges around a moan, his ring of muscles tightening around Dazai at the other’s words as his thumb slides into his mouth. 

The brunette groans, feeling the coils in his stomach tighten as he pushes his thumb down onto the flat of Chuuya’s slick, hot tongue. 

“You like that, hm?” He coos as Chuuya’s lips close around his thumb, sucking as his lashes flutter, “You like it when I compliment you, don’t you, sweetheart?”

Chuuya’s nostrils flare, back arching off the bed as much as it can till his chest is completely flush with Dazai’s, cock rubbing and trapped between their bodies. His mouth parts again; Dazai takes the opportunity to drag his finger down Chuuya’s bottom lip. 

“Y— yes, damn you, Dazai. I need, I can’t—“

Dazai moans, hand sliding around to cup the back of Chuuya’s head, his own pace starting to become irregular as he nears the edge. “Good, because fuck Chuuya, you are so beautiful.” The coils in his stomach almost snap when he watches Chuuya’s eyes dilate, “Let go, cum for me.”

The hand tangled in Chuuya’s hair lifts the boy's head as he brings his own down to crash their lips together. It’s clumsy and broken as their teeth collide. The subtle taste of iron has Chuuya moaning into Dazai’s mouth. The brunette easily drinks every bit of it as he feels the redhead shutter beneath him in an earth-shattering orgasm. 

Chuuya cries out, an incoherent string of curses, pleas, and Dazai’s name falling from his tongue and into the brunette’s mouth as his vision goes white. 

The heat around his cock tightening and the warm liquid pooling between their abdomens from Chuuya’s release has Dazai tipping over the edge a few thrusts after. 

In a moment, Chuuya is trying to pull his head back from the kiss, squirming from overstimulation. “Gods, that was–” He lets out a content, heavy sigh, body pliant against the bed as his legs drop from around Dazai’s waist.

“Amazing~?” Dazai asks around a tired smirk. He pulls himself out, feeling Chuuya’s body shivering beneath him before Dazai drops down onto the mattress next to the boy, pulling the condom off of his rapidly softened cock.

They are still sideways on the bed, never having made it to the pillows with how desperate they both were to put their hands on each other. And with that, Dazai now realizes he doesn’t have an escape after sex.

Usually, the moment they are done, he slips out of Chuuya’s room with little acknowledgment from said boy. He will usually head to the shower, trading out his sweaty bandages for new ones and then snuggling up alone in his bed.

Tonight he doesn’t have that escape, and Chuuya doesn’t get the luxury of ignoring him after.

Though by the looks of it, he doesn’t seem to mind. Especially not when Dazai’s head tilts to look at Chuuya, and those sapphire eyes are already looking at him back. 

Dazai can’t help the flip of his stomach when he hears Chuuya’s breathy laugh to go along with the small smile on his lips, “Yeah, I guess it was. Don’t let it get to your head, bastard.”

It only takes Dazai a split second to compose himself, smirking as he sits up to go find a towel. “Do I finally get my thanks?”

The redhead makes an ineligible noise in the back of his throat in protest as Dazai scoops up two towels, tossing one over to the other who decided he was too tired to get off the bed for himself. 

They silently wipe themselves clean of lube and cum. Dazai notices it is now almost three-quarters past three in the morning. Still plenty of time to do just about whatever they would like.

He’s sure Chuuya would like to shower, maybe Dazai will even order them room service. Sleeping doesn’t sound too bad either, now that Dazai thinks of it, though he’s not sure what it would be like sleeping in the same bed as Chuuya.

And, it’s not like they haven’t slept together before. It’s not a whole new experience. They did it a year ago, but that’s much different compared to where they are today. 

Today they don’t see each other as one another’s possible futures. It’s just a good fuck, a fake relationship, and a ‘whatever happens in Greece, stays in Greece’ type of silent agreement. He’s sure Chuuya feels the same. 

Dazai grabs his underwear off the floor before plopping back down on the mattress, this time his back is against the headboard as he works to cover himself. He decides to be a gentleman and let Chuuya have the first shower while he waits. 

“You can go first, I’ll even have some of that fancy wine and a couple of snacks ordered for your highness when you get out” He offers as all his focus is on getting his underwear the right side out again.

Though he doesn’t get an answer, nor feel the mattress let up under Chuuya’s weight. Instead, he sees the flash of red in his peripherals getting tied up in a messy bun. 

Dazai looks up, quirking a brow curiously as he drops his failed attempt in situating his underwear. Consider his interest piqued when he watches Chuuya crawl up to him, settling himself between the taller’s thighs. 

Dazai spreads his legs to accommodate the little brat who smirks up at him. Chuuya’s trailing the pads of his fingertips up the curves and dips of the brunette’s toned legs when Dazai finally gives in.

“What do you think you're doing?” 

“Payback.”

Dazai lets out a soft noise of surprise when he watches Chuuya’s tongue flick out, the flat of it giving the head of his cock an experimental lick. It instantly twitches, no doubt coming back to life soon. 

Dazai curses internally at the way this redhead has his insides doing unnatural twists and flips more often than they should. His hand collects the fiery locks in a death grip, though gentle enough not to cause too much pain as he lifts the other’s head up just so he can look those ocean pools head-on. 

He bites his cheek at the soft groan that leaves Chuuya’s lips at the tug. “Are you threatening me with a good time, darling?”

Chuuya flashes him a grin, all teeth and a promise of a long-drawn orgasm sent Dazai’s way, “Objections?”

And how could Dazai possibly say no to him?

The next morning, they stand in the elevator as it slowly makes its way down fifteen floors. They are utterly fucked out, fat and happy from all the snacks they splurged on, and tired as hell. 

As Dazai promised, they did in fact, get zero sleep.

Now it’s half past six and they plan on sneaking back into the house before anyone questions the disheveled state they are in. 

And, preferably, they would like to spend the rest of their day sleeping.

Chuuya side glances at Dazai who’s been typing away on his phone for the majority of the elevator ride. He’s in fresh bandages, having changed into them after his shower while Chuuya was scrolling on the television. Still a mystery what’s beneath them, though Chuuya is starting to accept the fact he will never know. Especially since it’s been just about a week of their current ‘friends with benefits’ status and he’s yet to find out. 

“Ranpo is threatening me,” Dazai mutters, breaking the silence and answering the unasked question Chuuya was wondering, but would never utter out loud. That being: who Dazai was so deeply enthralled with over text messages this early in the morning. 

Chuuya clicks his tongue, looking back to the descending numbers of the elevator as he hikes the duffle bag higher on his shoulder. “I knew you signed your death wish when I watched you pull those keys out.”

The brunette pouts, slipping his phone into his back pocket once the metal doors slide open, “If he didn’t want someone using it, why would he have the keys out on the counter in the first place?”

Chuuya, stifling an eye roll, chooses to ignore such an idiotic question. 

“Just get us home in one piece, please.”

A huff, “Always doubting me.”

A hum in agreement is all Dazai gets back as they return the keycard, drag their feet to the convertible, and ride home with the early morning breeze against their skin.

“Do you want to die? I’m asking this genuinely.”

That’s the welcome committee Dazai gets once they return home. 

Chuuya, being the heartless man that he is told Ranpo it was all Dazai’s doing, effectively cutting himself out of the equation as he walked past both brunettes with his main objective being coffee, and hopefully, next a bed.

Dazai had offered to stop at a coffee shop, though it was quickly shut down when Chuuya didn’t want Ranpo to be even more upset.

A pity, really, because now Dazai is face to face with a disgruntled puppy.

Ranpo holds his palm out, brows knit as he waits for his keys back. His foot taps impatiently on the grass below.

“Offering me my long-awaited sweet relief, Ranpo?” Dazai sighed dreamily, dropping said keeps in the other’s palm, “Sadly you are not a beautiful woman, so I must pass on that opportunity for now.”

Ranpo snatches the keys, stuffing them in his sweatpants pocket as he sighs in defeat, “You could have just asked for them.”

“And you’d say no.”

“Touche.” 

Dazai grins, nodding in farewell as he moves to swiftly walk past Ranpo. However, he doesn’t make it far when he’s dragged back again by his collar. “Where did you and Chuuya go?”

Dazai’s grin quickly turns to a pout, “Out.”

“Uh-huh, yeah. Keep being all cryptic, everyone already knows you two left together.”

“Can’t two men in love leave the four walls of this jail cell to sightsee the beautiful country of Greece?”

Ranpo’s lips part in shock at the word ‘love’, his emerald eyes widening. He knew they were trying out the whole ‘dating thing’, but even he’s surprised Dazai’s fallen in love so quickly. He was right a year ago. His boy is in love!

See? Ranpo is never wrong. 

He smirks, “Yeah, I’m sure you two only went ‘sightseeing’. That explains the new necklace of hickeys I watched Chuuya walk in with.”

Dazai tsks, straightening his back once Ranpo finally lets go of his shirt collar. He brushes the invisible dust off him before moving to head inside, “Nothing gets past you.”

“You know it, bro!”

When Dazai finally gets inside he sees Chuuya’s head down in his arms as he hunches over the dining room table. He would think Chuuya passed out before he could make it to the room if the boy weren’t mumbling.

It’s a string of incoherent words, having been muffled by his head down, though Kouyou seems to understand him as she responds, continuing to make coffee for the redhead.

Yosano, sitting across from Chuuya with her own coffee in hand, smirks at Dazai. She has enough decency to keep her mouth shut for once. 

That is the least she can do after the first time he slept with Chuuya, and the many teases since then.

As if two people who ‘date’ having a sex life was something that exciting for these nosy housemates. Are their lives truly that boring?

He doesn’t tease Yosano for fucking her fiancee! And trust him, he heard it all the other night.

It must have been payback.

Well deserved, might he add.

“Coffee?” She asks instead.

He shakes his head, “Bed.”

Chuuya grunts in agreement. 

Dazai smiles at the sound before he turns away quickly, clearing his throat to stifle it because no he doesn’t find it cute. That would be preposterous, absolutely ludicrous!

However, once he makes it to the hall all thoughts of Chuuya jump out of his head when he sees Sasaki leaning against his bedroom door with her arms crossed as if she had been waiting for him. 

“Sasaki? Is there something you need?” He asks as he takes the last few steps up to her. The only thing blocking him from finally getting the sleep his body is screaming at him for.

A good two-hour nap will put him back to his normal energetic self. (Insomnia at its finest)

She eyes him wearily, making no show of getting off his door any time soon. 

“Good morning, Osamu.” She hums, eyes flickering over the state he’s currently in. “I’ve noticed you and Chuuya have been getting closer. Good for you guys.”

He bites his cheek, recalling her calling their relationship out a week ago for it looking ‘fake’. Though, now he suspects everyone can see they are spending more time near each other. Even during the past few days, they have been migrating towards each other for some odd reason. 

He nods, “As it may seem.”

Her eyes darken for an instant before flickering away, she looks down at her nails, inspecting them closely. If Dazai didn’t know better, he would think there was a hint of jealousy in her expression. And that, that has the edge of his lip quirking up. “It’s cute, really. I remember when we were first falling in love, Osamu. The things you’d do to impress me.”

And now his brows are furrowing, slightly confused. Really, that whole statement is lost on him because she must be thinking he and Chuuya are falling in love. But this is what he wanted right? For her to realize what she lost? Instead, he focuses on the other aspect of her sentiments. “Impress?”

She glances over at him, “Oh yes, you used to take me on sporadic outings. It was cute and all, spoil me and smother me with your attention.”

He shifts between his two feet, surprised he’s even standing after being awake for 24 hours. He’s starting to not like where this conversation is going. He’s obviously not trying to impress Chuuya. Nor is he trying to treat the boy and smother him with attention. That would mean he actually cares about him, about what Chuuya even thinks about him. Of course he doesn’t! 

Though, he can’t help his excitement that she’s acknowledging that he really did try in their relationship and that now all his so-called ‘attention’ has been given to Chuuya instead of her. 

Missing it now Sasaki!? He thinks to himself, accidentally letting a breathy chuckle slip past his lips. Whoops, he’s tired alright?

She furrows her brows, “Is something funny?”

“Oh, no no. I just– if I didn’t know any better, Sasaki, love. I’d think you were jealous.”

Her back straightens instantly, letting out an indignant noise in the back of her throat, “I just came to tell you I was happy for you.”

He grins at her defensive stance, and that makes her huff, proving his point further by continuing.

“Like– I mean, It’s about time you finally found someone, Osamu. I found Doppo, and I always knew you deserved someone better than how I had treated you.” She takes a step away from his door, “I just want what’s best for you.”

He nods enthusiastically, his smile never wavering, “Oh, yes. Thank you, ‘Saki. I’m glad we were able to put past our differences and finally be happy for one another. Growing up really can do a lot for a person, don’t you think?”

She shakes her head slightly in disbelief before clicking her tongue. “Doppo is probably wondering where I am; I left the beach without telling him.”

“Ah, better go find him then. Shouldn’t you?”

She huffs with one singular nod, “I should, glad we were able to catch up.”

“Likewise.”

He silently watches her walk down the hall before he grins, giving his hips a little satisfied shimmy as he swings his door open.

Hell yeah, the plan is in motion.

He’s gotta tell Chuuya.

Chapter Text

To Dazai’s shock, he ended up taking a two-and-a-half-hour nap instead of just two. That redhead must have really worn him out.

Though his excitement about Sasaki dwindles the longer Chuuya sleeps. 

He was so excited to tell Chuuya after his nap, that he completely forgot the other actually takes his sleep seriously.

That being said Dazai has to wait a whole nine more hours until Chuuya finally wakes up, and by that time it’s dinner. Who takes an almost 11-hour nap?!

Well, when you don’t sleep for 24 hours straight, he guesses it’s justifiable. But how dare Chuuya take so long! He was so bored– not that he cared Chuuya wasn’t hanging around everyone all day. No, he just was excited about the news he had to share… that’s all. 

And while Chuuya slept his day away Dazai hung out by the beach, and sometimes by the pool. He is efficiently burnt to a crisp and not happy about it. His cheeks are a bright shade of red along with his forehead and down his neck till the bandages cut it off. 

That, he might add, is not a pretty tan line. 

He hung out with Ranpo and Fukuzawa most of the day. Every time the patio door opened, he was not-so-subtly looking to see if it was a certain redhead waking up from their coma. 

To which it never was.

Obviously, like he said earlier, he didn’t care. (Because the disappointment he felt was, in fact, not disappointment. It was thankfulness he didn’t have to be near that annoying shortie! Thank goodness…)

Dazai had learned four things this day. One is Fukuzawa can play a mean game of pool volleyball (frisbee isn’t the only thing the old man knows how to play), two, that sunblock is actually more important than he thought (And Mori’s lecture about using it to prevent skin cancer wasn’t boring nonsense), three, crabs at the beach are not your friend, and four, this vacation is a little bland without a certain hotheaded redhead who he refuses to name even in his own head. 

So, that being said, when the groggy zombie comes out of his room at the smell of food, Dazai’s beaming face isn’t because of him. It’s obviously because of the food.

(Is this denial? No. It’s common sense.)

Chuuya, in all of his glory, walks into the kitchen wearing a shirt far too big for him and hopefully shorts underneath it! There are red lines creased onto his cheek from his pillow to go along with the drool stain in the corner of his lip and the wild rat nest on the top of his head one shouldn’t be seen in public with. And of course, you can’t forget the dark ring of hickeys dotting his pretty pale neck. 

He’s yawning, rubbing his palms against his eyes, “Is dinner ready? Mmm smells good.”

Then Yosano and Kouyou– the only two people in the kitchen, besides Dazai– turn to look at him.

He pouts, clutching his water bottle from where he sits at the dining room table. The looks on their faces saying ‘ You did this to him ’ with as much distaste one could muster from Kouyou and as much satisfaction from the former. 

“Ten more min–” 

Though Kouyou’s answer gets cut off by a full gutted laugh.

Chuuya, the brat, is laughing his ass off and pointing a finger at Dazai. His eyes are wide, looking like he’s now been awake for hours, as he clutches his stomach with his other hand.

Dazai’s pout deepens as he feels his already burning face burn hotter. He pulls the water bottle up and sets it on his cheek as Chuuya all but doubles over on himself.

“You– your fucking face!” Chuuya gasps between laughs, making Yosano and Kouyou soon follow along with small chuckles, “You look absolutely ridiculous!”

“You're one to talk!” Dazai’s weak defense gets muffled by more laughter, “You look like you just came back from the dead, and you're no snow white!”

It takes Chuuya a good thirty more seconds to compose himself, clutching his stomach harder while wiping a tear from his eye, “Ow, it fuckin’ hurts,” He whines before looking back at Dazai with an airy chuckle, “Have you ever heard of ‘SPF’?”

“Trust me, I warned him.” Yosano pipes in, ever the traitor. She gave him an entire lecture just as Mori had a million times over in his lifetime. Why is everyone in Dazai’s life in the medical field?! Or… maybe this too is just common sense.

“I can’t wear sunblock. We are in Greece, I need to be tan and sexy by the time I get back to Japan!”

Chuuya shakes his head, walking up to Dazai to inspect him closer. The proximity has Dazai’s eyes widening a fraction as Chuuya’s cold finger pokes his cheek, making him whine in pain.

“I’ll tell you one thing, this is going to peel. You can kiss your tan goodbye.”

“At least I’m still sexy!”

All he gets in return is a tsk as Chuuya’s thin fingers move to wrap around Dazai’s wrist, pulling him into the standing position.

Kouyou huffs, pulling the cooked lamb out of the oven for the Gyros they are eating tonight. “Where do you two think you're going? Dinner’s almost done and he was supposed to set the table.”

Chuuya continues to pull Dazai away, “We will be back soon. I can’t let this idiot destroy his face; it’s all he’s got going for him.”

Dazai isn’t sure if he should take that as a compliment or an insult.

Kouyou and Yosano let Chuuya steal Dazai away with the promise of cleaning the dishes instead after dinner. Though Dazai didn’t appreciate or have much say in any of this. 

Within the next five minutes, Dazai is set down on the closed toilet seat of Chuuya’s bathroom with the redhead standing between his opened thighs.

It’s all too much for Dazai. He’s disoriented and confused from the sudden position, and he’s not sure how this is supposed to help fix his face.

“Wow Chuuya, so forward~”

“Oh shut up,” Chuuya flicks his red forehead, effectively getting Dazai to clamp his mouth shut with a huff because ow. “I have some products to help with,” Chuuya scrunches his nose in distaste, gesturing to Dazai’s whole face, “That.”

“Rude.”

Another flick.

Then Chuuya is rummaging through a small purple bag, his tongue stuck out in concentration, still standing between Dazai’s thighs. Chuuya’s head is only a little above Dazai’s, not much and Dazai would absolutely love to mess with Chuuya about his height right now, but the abuse hes been put through is not worth it. 

Chuuya takes out two travel-sized bottles from the bag before setting everything down next to them on the sink counter. Dazai would inspect the contents of the bottles though it’s hard when there’s no label. 

He assumes they were placed in these colorful containers to get through the plane ride. 

“What’s those?”

Chuuya shakes his head, walking away for a second and Dazai almost has enough stupidity to pull him back. He, of course, refrains. 

“It will help soothe the burns because I doubt you're very comfortable right now,” He absentmindedly explains as he grabs a fuzzy pink what now??!

That thing looks outrageous and hideous! It’s some type of band, light pink with a bow on top. There are little peaches scattered about the bow. 

“—and should help minimize the peeling–”

“What is that!” Dazai asks, scandalized. 

Chuuya’s brows knit in confusion as he looks at his hands, squeezing the material before letting out a bemused huff, “A spa headband,” He settles back between Dazai’s legs as the brunette scrunches his nose. “It will keep your hair off your face. I don’t want to get the moisturizer everywhere.”

Dazai leans back as Chuuya reaches up with the band before the redhead huffs and pulls him back by his shirt collar. “Sit still, I don’t have time for you to be a baby.”

Dazai purses his lips in defeat before he feels Chuuya’s cold fingers gently brush his bangs off his forehead, “Do you wear this thing?” He asks, voice oddly quieter. He feels the shift in the atmosphere turn almost intimate and any loud noises might scare it away.

Chuuya hums, placing the band around Dazai’s head before tucking the loose brown strands underneath. “When I wash my face, or if I ever do my makeup, yes.” Chuuya’s voice is just as quiet. 

Dazai nods, eyes flickering over the redhead’s face. He can see all the little details this close, the bathroom lighting doing it far more justice than the dark room they always find their way into together after everyone has gone to sleep does.

There are so many freckles littered across the apple of Chuuya’s cheeks and bridge of his nose. They vary from light brown to dark pink in color. Dazai almost feels the need to start counting each one of them.

A small noise from the back of Chuuya’s throat pulls Dazai out of his trance, eyes snapping back up to look at the sapphire pools staring back at him. 

His breath stutters, feeling pinned in place just from Chuuya’s gaze. He almost thanks the boy when Chuuya breaks eye contact to grab the first bottle– the blue one.

“What’s in there?” Dazai asks; voice slightly higher pitched than it was a minute ago.

The bottle cap gets clicked open before Chuuya squirts a generous amount to his index and middle finger, “Unscented lotion. It’s got some, like, hypoallergenic shit in it so I figured it would be good for your damaged skin,” He rubs his fingers against his index and middle finger belonging to his other hand. “It will feel good, promise.”

Dazai quietly nods, a weird tug in his stomach as he watches Chuuya look back at him with a small smile, then he’s reaching forward starting at the bridge of Dazai’s nose and moving out towards his cheeks, lathering the lotion against his skin. His eyes flutter shut as he inhales a small, sharp breath. The cold moisturizer against his heated skin almost makes him want to cry in relief. 

He hears Chuuya hum, quietly rubbing gentle circles over his forehead now before breaking the silence, “What were you even doing all day? Did you fall asleep outside?”

Dazai’s hand absentmindedly reaches to hold the back of Chuuya’s thigh, he feels the boy tense for one, two, three seconds before he relaxes again. That’s enough for Dazai to gently rub his fingers against the exposed skin, “Mm, I went to the beach, and these little crabs were chasing me– their little claws kept snapping at me!” He hears a soft chuckle, making his lips quirk up in the corners on their own, “I was also at the pool, Fukuzawa went crazy in a game of volleyball. I didn’t know the old man could move so eloquently! I almost asked him what his workout routine was! Isn’t that crazy?” 

His eyes crack open when he feels Chuuya’s fingers leave his face, the smile that the redhead gives him has his heart pounding a little harder, “You wanting to work out? Yeah, I do find that a bit insane.”

And before he knows it Chuuya’s blowing on his face. 

Dazai lets out a strangled squeak in surprise, blinking his eyelids rapidly. “Wha–”

Chuuya stops blowing, using both of his hands now to fan air onto Dazai’s face. And, the brunette won’t lie, the cold air hitting the moisturizer on his face feels so good. He didn’t even realize how uncomfortable the burn was until Chuuya started treating it. “Drying the lotion a little,” He blows gently again and Dazai hums, “I want to put aloe on next.”

The moment feels so fragile and strangely domestic that Dazai keeps all his urges to tease Chuuya at bay. He’s afraid anything could ruin this, and then he wouldn’t forgive himself.

“Watch out Chuuya,” Dazai mutters a little too soft for his liking, “Keep this up, and I’d almost think you care~”

That earns him a pinch on the bicep, though it wasn’t his cheek or a flick on the forehead so he’ll take that as progress.

“My skin burns easily, I know how much of a pain in the ass it can be,” Chuuya says, moving onto the green bottle. The one Dazai is assuming has the aloe in it. “J’st don’t wanna hear you bitching.”

Dazai grins, eyes flickering from the motion of Chuuya’s hands pouring the gel on his fingers to the redhead’s face, “I’d like to see you all red in the face after being in the sun too long. You would probably match your hair!”

Note to self: Dazai isn’t capable of keeping his teasing at bay for longer than a few minutes.

Chuuya’s eyes roll at that, setting the bottle back down before beginning his menstrations again. His cold fingertips circle Dazai’s face starting at his forehead before trailing a path down his temples, over his cheeks, and to the bridge of his nose. The gel has Dazai letting out a content sigh, his hand moving up to hold Chuuya’s waist. It’s a much easier spot to hold and it’s keeping him grounded from leaning into the boy's touch and the impulsive thoughts he gets to kiss him silly for being so gentle with him.

He’s not sure what Chuuya would think if he did that, so instead he tightens his grip, feeling the warmth through the oversized shirt Chuuya wears.

“Did you even take a nap?” Chuuya asks instead.

“A few hours. Was definitely needed after the torture you put me through last night.”

“Me?! I’m pretty sure that was you doing the torturing if I recall correctly.”

Dazai tsks, eyes trying to follow along with Chuuya’s hands as his own sinks further into the plush fabric of the boy's shirt, “Maybe your coma fried your brain. I remember that little stunt you pulled after I gave you exactly what you wanted!”

Chuuya smirks, still focused more on rubbing the aloe in than anything else, “So we are just going to skip over the whole restaurant? Because I can tell you exactly what happened there.”

That causes Dazai’s memory to put a few details together, ones he had originally planned to tell Chuuya hours ago. That being their whole ‘outing’ causing a certain someone to get jealous. 

“Chuuya!” Dazai abruptly, and a little overly excited blurts out. He can feel the redhead jump beneath his hand, his breath hitching as his eyes dart over to Dazai’s.

“What the hell. Dazai. I’m right in front of your face– no need to be so damn loud.”

“I know, I know–” Dazai’s other hand indistinctively grabs onto the other side of Chuuya’s waist when he feels the boy finish rubbing in the gel. He holds Chuuya there in a way to not let the other run just yet. “I just remembered something I wanted to tell you!”

Chuuya’s eyes flicker back and forth before he nods, taking the spa headband off Dazai’s head. “Go ahead then, make it quick because dinner’s probably ready soon.” His fingers card through Dazai’s bangs in an attempt to fix the mess the headband made of it.

Dazai nods, smiling victoriously at Chuuya, “So, on my way to my room for my nap earlier, Sasaki was leaning against my door, yeah?”

Chuuya’s gaze travels back down to his eyes, both his hands finish their job in his bangs, resting them now on Dazai’s shoulder. He narrows his eyes slightly, “Yeah… okay. Then what?”

Dazai nods, his fingers tapping lightly against Chuuya, “Well, she wanted to tell me just how ‘happy’,” He says in a mocking tone, “She was for us. And you know what? She, in fact, was not happy. I could smell the jealousy oozing off her. It reeked.”

Chuuya shifts between his two feet as his fingers dig slightly into Dazai’s shoulders. “And how…what does that mean?” His voice is uncharacteristically unsure of itself that it has Dazai’s brows pinching.

Isn’t Chuuya supposed to be as happy as Dazai? Like, the plan is working!

Dazai huffs, letting out an airy chuckle as he rocks Chuuya’s hips back and forth with his hands absentmindedly as he continues, “It means that our little role-play is working, Chuuya.” No response, so he explains further, “She noticed how I was taking you out– probably assumed it was some ‘ romantic getaway ’–” Dazai scoffs as if that was the most absurd thing he’s heard, “and started reminiscing on the good ol’ days! I can already see it, soon she will be missing how well I treated her, begging for me back. It’s exactly what we wanted, and—”

“Okay.”

Dazai freezes, looking back at Chuuya because that was rude . He just interrupted him! 

“Okay?” His brows furrow as he watches Chuuya pry his hands off of his waist.

“That’s great , Dazai.”

Then why does it sound like the opposite? Chuuya could add a little more enthusiasm if he thought it was ‘so great’.

“Is this not what we wanted? Your parents lay off about you and Shirase, the girls have an easygoing wedding, and I get Sasaki back?”

He almost feels cold when Chuuya steps back, completely removing himself from between Dazai’s legs as he fiddles with his hands. “I just said it’s great. Yes, yes it’s exactly what we wanted.”

“Then quit sounding like this is all new to you.”

Chuuya scoffs, moving to start putting his things away quickly. Dazai awkwardly stands up from the toilet seat, feeling a little uneasy from the sudden change in demeanor. 

This isn’t going how he thought it would. But, he’s not sure why. Why does Chuuya look so frustrated as he starts brushing the knots out of his hair so goddamn aggressively? 

“It’s not new.” A rip against his scalp with the brush, “I’m glad it’s working out in your favor.” The next yank of the brush has Dazai wincing for him, “That’s all this was anyway. I’m glad, okay?”

Dazai nods slowly, hand scratching at the nape of his neck as he watches Chuuya through the mirror, “Yeah… yeah.”

“We need to get to the dinner table.”

“Are you mad?” For reasons Dazai himself is unsure of.

A bitter chuckle, “Mad?” Chuuya shrugs, shaking his head. “What would I have to be mad about?”

Why, why would Chuuya be mad? Of course, he shouldn’t be mad Dazai is excited Sasaki is starting to miss what the two of them had. That’s what Dazai wanted, and Chuuya wanted it for him too. 

That is what they wanted, Chuuya thinks. So no, no he’s not fucking mad!

This tug in his chest and the urge to punch Dazai’s stupid face doesn’t mean he’s mad. 

In fact, he has no clue why he feels this way. It almost makes him want to laugh.

Dazai nods, “Right, not mad.”

Chuuya gestures stiffly for Dazai to start walking out of his bathroom. “Dinner.”

“Right.”

Everyone is already seated when they get back. The table is full. There are nine people around it. Three seats left. 

Dazai sits next to Ranpo, the other seat next to him empty as he assumes Chuuya would sit next to him.

Though he almost chokes on his first bite when he watches Chuuya sit in the empty seat next to Shirase.

A few others around the table look just as confused when Chuuya aggressively picks his Gyro up and rips a bite out of it.

The redhead notices the eyes on him, “What? I’m starving. It’s fucking delicious.”

Kouyou smiles, slightly strained. “Glad you like it.”

And he’s not mad. Right?

After dinner, the two boys do the dishes. 

Chuuya cleans, Dazai dries.

There’s nothing more to it.

Once all is said and done, Chuuya heads to his room for the night. 

Dazai doesn’t get an invite this time.

—-

 “Ow-, ow ow ow ow akiko– ” 

“You don’t get to lock yourself in your room all day and be a bum,” Yosano says as she drags Dazai by the ear out of his room. “You're coming to check the venue with us. As a best man, you can’t just sit around all day and suck face with Chuuya. You are very much a part of this wedding, as Ozaki and I are.” 

Dazai pouts, holding onto her wrist where her death grip holds onto him as he gets dragged into the living room. He was planning on sleeping all day, not sucking face with the one boy who hadn’t talked to him since dinner last night. (Mind you that was 17 hours ago.)

“I don’t only suck face with–”

Dazai gets abruptly shut up by said man clearing his throat with his arms crossed. Chuuya is standing next to Kouyou in the living room (also having been dragged out to participate in ‘wedding best man’ activities) 

He’s yet again in that atrocious pork pie hat he wore on the first day they met along with a white t-shirt that accentuates his muscles a little too well and brown jeans. A black leather choker – and eyeliner (Please, Dazai can’t do this today).

In conclusion, he’s hot, tacky hat and all to Dazai’s dismay. 

“We have a reservation to look at the Alsos Numfon venue. We booked it for the wedding eight months ago, but wanted to check it out early to make sure everything we need will be set up right.” Yosano explains as she lets go of Dazai’s ear with a shove, moving to stand next to her fiancee.

Dazai pouts, rubbing at his ear as he looks at the three in front of him, “Who else is coming?”

“Just us four,” Chuuya cuts in before Yosano can respond, eyes narrowing with a small smirk, “Ranpo gave us the car willingly because we actually know how to ask, unlike some people.”

“I’ve used his car before, It’s not like he should have been surprised I stole it again!”

“Again,” Chuuya scoffs, rolling his eyes, “I’m surprised Ranpo hadn’t wrung your neck yet.”

“He just knows imma do it myself one day!”

“Why haven’t you yet—?“

“Okay!” Yosano claps loudly, the two boys startling and turning to her. “It’s twenty minutes away so let’s get going, shall we?”

Kouyou nods, grabbing Chuuya’s arm and yanking him to the front door with her, “Oi! I said I would come!”

She tsks, “I don’t trust you not to try and sneak away again.”

Dazai smirks as he follows them out the door, his hands intertwined behind his back.

“What’s wrong Chuuya? Had other plans, hm~?”

The redhead glares over his shoulder as Kouyou continues pulling him towards the car. “Maybe I just didn’t wanna see your stupid face today.”

Dazai gasps in mock offense, “I’ll have you know the burn is 75 percent gone already. And! That’s so rude, you love looking at my face!”

“As if.”

“Do too.”

“Do not .”

“Yes, you do, Chuuya~”

“Do not! Shut up!”

Yosano eyes them as she unlocks the car, opening the passenger seat for her lover. Kouyou throws Chuuya in the back before kissing her on the cheek and sliding into the front. “Are we witnessing a lover's quarrel right now?” Yosano asks.

Dazai hums, slipping into the back of the convertible, right next to Chuuya who is anything but pleased with the seating arrangement, “Oh don’t worry, Chuuya just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I wasn’t there to tuck him in last night.”

(Dazai says this as if it were his choice, when, really, Chuuya gave him the cold shoulder.)

“I don’t need you tucking me in!”

Yosano, turned the key in the ignition, looking back at the two through the rearview mirror, “By ‘tucking him in’ do you mean ‘fucking him till he passes out from exhaustion’?”

Kouyou chokes on her spit as her head snaps to Yosano, all while Chuuya is deflecting in a high-pitched voice with a cherry-red face, and Dazai smirks happily.

“That is exactly what I mean, ‘Kiko! You get me.”

It’s nothing new when the fist hits him in the shoulder, “Shut the fuck up!” Chuuya hisses,  as Yosano pulls out of the driveway with a, ‘Always have, ‘Samu.’ 

“Do you two have no shame?” Kouyou asks, feeling Chuuya’s pain, “Leave the poor guy alone; the whole house already knows what goes on in Chuuya’s room at night. No need to embarrass him more.”

“Ane-san, please.” Chuuya whines slumping farther in his seat. He hates everyone today. Especially Dazai. 

“Sorry Lad, you traumatized all of us.”

“And you’re traumatizing me!”

“Because it’s my job~”

The rest of the ride is genuinely quiet, fortunate on Chuuya’s behalf besides the occasional Dazai being annoying and commenting on the first thing that comes to his mind.

Something or other about the weather, or the chickens that walk the streets of Greece. He asks Yosano about her father’s workout routine, explaining how he would like to start. Chuuya had learned to cancel his voice out, except he scoffed out a laugh at that.

To which Dazai acted entirely offended over and bet he could do more push-ups than Chuuya could. 

If he weren’t so irritated at Dazai– for who knows what– then he would have entertained the bastard and his asinine bets. Because no. Chuuya can do far more push-ups than Dazai, thank you very much.

The brunette even tried to hold his hand once they got to the venue. Chuuya almost smacked him upside the head because again, no; he did not want to touch Dazai.

Is this another attempt to make Sasaki jealous?? She isn’t even here!

So, instead, Chuuya shoved Dazai into one of the circle-shaped topiary bushes.

Chuuya thought it was hilarious, though Kouyou and Yosano thought otherwise. Dazai was pouty too, but that is none of the redhead’s concerns. 

And, besides the occasional bickering with the brunette, the venue trip was boring.

The girls wouldn’t stop talking about the placement of chairs, food, photographers blah blah whatever. Why Dazai and Chuuya were needed was beyond them.

The two of them stood in the background most of the time as if they were ghosts following around the soon-to-be-weds. Chuuya would have rather laid in bed all day than be stuck with Dazai. 

The idiot constantly needs someone to entertain him, and Chuuya shouldn’t be that someone. Maybe Sasaki should have come instead of him! Then Dazai would have all the time in the world to reminisce about their relationship grown on lies and infidelity!

Not that Chuuya cares, by any means. No, he’s grateful Sasaki is already beginning to want Dazai back because then Chuuya can give up the ‘heart-eyes’ act for the asshat.

He might lose some of the best sex he’s had in his life. But, you win some and you lose some. He would finally be able to breathe some fresh air with the brunette laying off.

Because that’s what he wants, right?

Because this gnawing feeling in his stomach has nothing to do with the idea of Dazai getting back with Sasaki. The stomach ache he’s had since last night must be from the dinner, nothing more.

And so, when Dazai asks to hang out once they get back home and settle in the rooms for the night, that’s what Chuuya uses as an excuse.

His stomach hurts, from the dinner.

So again, Dazai doesn’t ‘tuck him in’ as he would annoyingly call it.

And it’s fine. 

Chapter Text

Dazai wakes up early, as per usual, to his misfortune. Whether that be waking up early or waking up in general he’s not sure which is worse.

Anyway, he decides to spend his morning on the beach alone again, reading his favorite guide to suicide while watching the sunrise. 

His fingers dig into the sand occasionally, pulling up buried shells as the breeze cards through his hair. He spent yesterday morning on the phone with Mori, going over some of the hospital business, and then spent the afternoon with Yosano as she got her nails and hair done. He had barely seen Chuuya, the boy spent all day with Kouyou. Dazai’s starting to wonder if it was something he said to make Chuuya back off for a few days.

Whatever it may be, it’s rather annoying. He almost invited Chuuya to the beach with him this morning but changed his mind at the last minute. 

The rising sun and quiet waves were as peaceful as they could be until Kunikida showed up to go surfing. They had both nodded politely to each other and Dazai stayed for another fifteen minutes before getting up to head back to the house.

If you ask him, he would have liked to leave earlier, but he didn’t want Kunikida to feel as though he had won by driving Dazai away the second he got to the beach.

He had made it back to the house, walking through the backyard to spot both of Chuuya’s parents out by the pool. In Dazai’s opinion, it’s a little odd to be swimming at 7:30 in the morning.

Well, he couldn’t really say they were swimming. More like Mrs. Fuku Nakahara was sitting on the side reading a book while Kansuke was attempting to learn to dive– though it just looked like he was a drowning duck on the brink of its deathbed.

That being said, with the hundred lessons Mori had given Dazai, swimming was one Dazai got from his mother. 

From CPR lessons to anatomy lectures, injecting IVs, and intubating an airway, to the importance of sunblock and the finances of a hospital. A wide range of rather unnecessary lessons if you ask Dazai, though the one lesson that stuck with him after all these years was swimming. He always took his mother’s lessons far more seriously than his father's. 

His mother told him way back when, if he didn’t know how to swim, he would never get a woman to fall in love with him. How those two correlate is beyond him, though he figured it was because his mother loved the ocean and wanted an excuse to go more often. They would always go early in the mornings to pick shells and swim in the waves.

Finally, this certain lesson might come in handy for once. 

“This next one, I’ll get it,” Chuuya’s dad mumbles as he climbs back out of the pool. 

Mrs. Nakahara sighed, looking up from her book with a raised brow, “I think you’re well past the age to be learning how to dive; please don’t strain your back.”

Dazai saunters up to them, pulling his black t-shirt off. His bandages are wrapped tightly from his wrist all the way up to his neck, a few strips encircling his thorax. He just has to be careful enough not to rip them off by accident. They usually can hold well enough in water. “Have you ever tried focusing on your toes?”

Both parents turn to the sound of his voice, Kansuke giving him a furrowed brow in confusion and Fuku staring silently at him.

“My mom, heh she taught me this trick that if you pretend there’s a string from your nose all the way to your toes, you sorta just maintain that position,” He stands next to the father, staring into the water. His chest tightens as memories flood back to him. His mother’s laugh was the most prominent, always cackling at his failed attempts in diving, all the way to her excited giggles when he would execute them flawlessly. He smiles softly as he turns to Kansuke, “You mind trying again?”

“I’ve been trying for an hour and still can’t get it.”

Fuku hums, flipping a page in her book as she looks at Dazai with narrowed eyes, “Don’t let him lie to you, he was practicing yesterday morning too. I wouldn’t waste your time on teaching him.”

Dazai hums, turning to look at the man, “I’ll shout out a trivia question. I think it will help clear your mind.” 

Fuku chuckles, “Just make sure it’s a question about bullet trains or Japanese mythology,” She grins, closing her book to watch.

Chuuya having heard their conversation all but dives behind a bush to watch from afar because woah! Why is Dazai talking to his parents right now? How are his parents not having an aneurysm, and actually look like they are enjoying themselves?

Dazai hums, his hands on his hips as Kansuke gets into a squatting position with his arms stretched up in front of him.

“Uh, uh–” Dazai frantically searches the back of his mind as the man jumps, “what primitive god promised strength and protection, later becoming a god of rebellionandcalamity –?!” He breathes out quickly as the man flops into the pool with little grace.

Chuuya brings his right hand up to his mouth to bite on it, trying to hide his smile when he watches his dad’s head pop out from the water yelling ‘Arahabaki! God of Treachery and Calamity Arahabaki!’ He’s grinning like a madman, swimming back to the edge where Dazai helps him out of the pool.

It’s almost so cute that it pisses Chuuya off.

“So how did I do?” The father asks Dazai, as he gets completely out of the water.

Hiding a grimace Dazai smirks, “You’re gettin' there, that’s for sure.”

Fuku hums, “Maybe your mom can teach him how to dive?”

The brunette’s heart stops for a second as he turns to look at her, scratching the nape of his neck, “Oh, she– eh she passed away actually.”

Kansuke frowns as Fuku’s eyes widen slightly, “Oh,” She says a little quieter, “I’m so sorry.”

Dazai shakes his head to brush it off as Kansuke hums, “Yeah, uh sorry I’ll– this time I’ll go again, ask me another question.” 

He moves to the edge of the pool again as Dazai breathes some of the tension off his shoulders, happy for the subject change.

“You know what, I have a better Idea,” Dazai muses, following Kansuke up to the edge of the pool. “You let me do everything and I’ll guide you in– we’ll do it together.”

He gets behind the man, guiding his hands up as Fuku clicks her tongue, “Just be careful, he’s got a lot of back issues.”

“Yeah, wrecked it in Paris when Chuuya was five– the boy ran off almost jumping in front of a car when he saw the Eiffel Tower sparkle and wanted a closer look.”

Chuuya internally groans, face heating up in embarrassment as he watches Dazai grin.

Fuku hums, “That boy loves it in France; quite the troublemaker.”

The father nods, “Spend a fortune on the trip, it was for our ten-year anniversary.” 

She chuckles, grinning, “I had always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower; now we make it a goal to go once a year.”

Dazai nods, aligning their arms up as he watches Kansuke in the corner of his eye, “Ah yes, the things you do for the ones you love.”

Letting out an amused huff Dazai guides them into a squatting position before they both dive into the pool. It was executed flawlessly might he add.

The water’s chilly, refreshing though it sticks to his bandages. Hearing Kansuke laugh in excitement is all worth it though when he comes up for air.

“Nice, finally!” He and Dazai high-five and the brunette can’t help but laugh along– a warm feeling in his chest. He wishes he could have moments like these with his own father, it’s nice not having to worry about the business or ‘please do something important with you life and consider med school’ for once in his life. “Thank you, thank you~!”

Chuckling Dazai swims to the edge of the pool, “Course, that was all you, born natural diver.”

Fuku gets up, grabbing a towel for Kansuke as they both get out of the pool, “There you are, good job love–” She leans in to kiss his cheek.

Chuuya takes this as his cue to come out from the bush. He needs to get his parents more comfortable with seeing them together. “Good job, babe,” Chuuya hums, coming up by Dazai’s side.

The brunette turns, brows raising in slight shock as Chuuya wraps his arm around Dazai’s side. A moment later his arm is slung over the redhead’s shoulder as well, beaming internally when he feels the boy’s nice shirt get soaked from his wet bandages against him. 

“Oh, hey Chuuya hunny,” Fuku says.

Humming, Dazai smirks, “Your dad’s quite the fast learner~”

“So happy you were able to spend some time with Osamu,” Chuuya smiles, leaning his head against the side of Dazai’s chest.

That, that has Dazai’s organs dropping for a second because what? 

He hadn’t heard Chuuya call him that since he corrected him at the bar a year ago, and surprisingly it had his stomach doing flips. He quickly suppresses his shock, looking back at Chuuya’s parents with a strained smile.

Kansuke hums, completely oblivious to Dazai’s internal panic, “So you two really are, huh?”

“Getting to know each other, yes, falling in love possibly.” Dazai prompts, his fingers from where his arm was slung over Chuuya brushed the red locks gently away from the boy's neck. It seems as if Chuuya put a lot of effort into doing it today. He must have been heading somewhere soon. “Your son is so kind and intelligent, I give him my utmost respect,” Tilting his head he smirks, “Loyalty, passion–”

Chuuya squeezes his side rather hard, making him let out a small squeak as the redhead cuts him off, “Yes, we are in the early stages of course–”

“Not too early–”

“Oi, But also not so advanced, you know–”

“Just that magical moment when two people come together in this crazy journey we call life, heh~?”

Chuuya nods once, firmly as he grins awkwardly at their parents in the silence after. Both parents look at them slightly uncomfortably.

“Uh –I–” Chuuya stutters, scrambling to say something else before they blow this, “That’s why I was so worried when Shirase showed up, you know Mom? I don’t want to hurt his feelings and all, you know how he feels still…”

Dazai gives the two a fake pout, lowering his voice, “I even suggested trying to muffle our affection for each other, hide our rapidly growing feelings for his own sake–”

“Ah, yes but our love,” Chuuya grits out between his teeth, “is just so, so strong. And— and I know what you guys think, because” He grimaces, “You’ve shared this many times already–that he’s much older, and–”

Straightening his back, Dazai glances over at Chuuya, his arm tightening around the boy, “They weren’t uh thinking that–right?”

Fuku gives him a smile that looks like it hurts her to wear as Kansuke looks away, scratching the nape of his neck.

“You know, probably thought I was like twenty-four, maybe even twenty-three, right?” Right?! He doesn’t look that old!

Fuku shakes her head, whispering a small ‘higher,’ causing Dazai to frown.

“Anyway! Mom, Dad.” Chuuya grins, moving his arm from around the brunette’s waist to tug his arm down, giving him access to the boy's cheek to plant a wet kiss there, “See, we are so, so, sooo happy!”

Dazai’s back strains as he bends down to the short boy's level, smiling innocently, “The happiest, really!”

Chuuya holds back his urge to throw Dazai off him when he feels those skinny octopus arms wrap all around him, lifting him up in a hug, sputtering nonsensical love confessions out as the redhead’s parents slowly back away and into the house. 

Once his parents are in the house, Dazai sets him down, unwrapping his arms from around him. “I think I won a few brownie points with–”

“Was that bullshit?” Chuuya cuts him off, tilting his head as he crosses his arms over his chest.

It has Dazai’s mouth parting for a second, no words coming out, “I– what are you talking about?”

“Your mom.” Chuuya huffs, “The story about the fern.”

Dazai’s brows furrow, his chest tightening as he watches Chuuya carefully.

“I thought it might have been a lie you tell all of your one-night stands you hope to never see again. You know, pulling the dead mom card to get them into bed out of pity.”

Dazai scowls, the bandages stick to his skin uncomfortably. “Chuu– you overheard that too?”

A nod.

“I didn’t pull–” Inhaling sharply his eyes scan the other for a moment. A year ago Chuuya was able to recall almost every single insult and shitty comment Dazai told Ranpo after the redhead left that morning. How is beyond Dazai, but the fact that Chuuya still remembers the ‘I never wanna see him again’ that Dazai word vomited with so much malice to Ranpo makes his chest feel tight, and nothing about this is comfortable. 

It’s enough to make Chuuya believe he even lied about his mother, and that makes it worse.

Dazai clears his throat, chewing on his bottom lip, “I’m sorry, okay? And, my mother– she, it wasn’t a lie.”

He really is. Whatever Chuuya heard, it was shitty. Dazai hated waking up to Chuuya leaving, he was hurt and he said shit he didn’t mean. Well, besides the whole Chuuya was ‘short’ and had a ‘tacky hat’ because obviously those are true! But, besides that, he never should have said the rest.

Because getting to know Chuuya over this past week and a half has been a lot more interesting than Dazai had ever thought. He enjoys being near Chuuya; he enjoys the idea of them being at least friends someday.

He doesn’t want Chuuya to have ill thoughts toward him.

He truly is sorry. He just doesn’t know how to make it up to Chuuya.

Though, Chuuya still gives him an awkward lopsided smirk despite it all, “Thanks for being nice to my dad. It means a lot because– I know they are a handful.”

Chuckling the tension off of himself, Dazai nods, “They seem pretty cool to me.”

“Tch, that’s because you only spent, like, ten minutes with them. I’ve been stuck with their constant whining my whole life.”

“Don’t worry, when the famous Mori Ougai whines to you all day, anything else is light work. Even dealing with your bitching is easy compared to him!”

“Oi! Shut up!”

Dazai yelps, dodging the swing for his stomach from Chuuya’s fist, as he almost falls back into the pool, “So violent! Imma go tell lady Nakahara-san!”

Narrowing his eyes, Chuuya points a finger at him. He looks so tiny and grumpy that it’s almost endearing. “You wouldn’t dare. I don’t need a lecture on who I date and how I treat them!”

Putting his arms up in mock surrender, Dazai agrees to keep their son's abusive tactics a secret on one condition. “Give me your phone and wallet.”

“Hah?!”

“Just, give me them. I won’t keep ‘em forever.”

Raising a brow, Chuuya looks at him skeptically, “What are you going to do with them?”

“I told you to trust me, did I not?” A pause, “Actually, give me the hat too.”

“Hell no!”

“Chuuyaa~ It’s with your best interest in mind! You’ll regret not giving them to me!”

It takes a moment more convincing before Chuuya huffs, reaching in his pockets to hand over his wallet and phone. He mainly does it so the brunette will just shut the fuck up and get this over with. “Here,” he drops them in the boy's hand before reaching for his hat, “Fuck up my hat and your dead.”

Dazai grins triumphantly, moving to set the items down on the table next to him, “That was why I had you take it off. As much as I love the offer, it sounds like dying by your hands wouldn’t be very satisfying.”

“Then what the hell are you–” He freezes when he watches Dazai smirk, slowly taking a step towards the redhead as if the boy were a frightened animal that might run away. “Dazai–”

The brunette looks at him with big innocent doe eyes that Chuuya knows are not innocent whatsoever, “Yes, Chuuya?”

“I swear,” he takes a step back, “Don’t fucking think about it.” He glances at the pool he’s a foot away from. He’s in a pair of baggy black jeans, a loose, soft beige casual polo pullover, his favorite choker, and some goddamn Doc Martians. He does not have time to get pushed in the pool. And! He spent hours styling his hair this morning! 

“Dazai please.” 

The brunette grins, jumping forward and wrapping his arms around the redhead in one go, making the other yelp, “Stop, stop stop–”

Squirming in Dazai’s grasp slightly he can hear the asshole chuckling, “Take your shoes off now, or go in with them. There’s no other option. I’m giving you thirty seconds to decide.”

“I– fuck. I can’t stand you” Chuuya groans, quickly kicking the back of his heels and struggling to get them off. (In all reality they both secretly know Chuuya could easily get out of Dazai’s grip) It definitely takes him longer than thirty seconds to get them off– because of a certain someone draped over him– but he manages and the second he’s in his socks Dazai is yanking him to the side. 

Their limbs are tangled in a mess as the cold water engulfs them. He squeezes his eyes shut as he feels his clothes sticking to him like a second skin. So much for getting ready today…

Chuuya’s still wrapped up in Dazai’s arms, so as he holds his breath underwater he’s praying to whoever will listen that the brunette isn’t trying to commit a double suicide right now.

Though a moment later Dazai is pushing off the floor of the pool, bringing their heads back to the surface, Chuuya coughs, taking a breath as he blinks his eyes open to those stupid brown orbs happily beaming back at him, “You’re such an asshole, you know.” He says, despite the corner over his lip twitching upward.

Dazai grins, arms still holding Chuuya close as he looks into those Sapphire eyes. His hair is a darkened auburn, soaked and sticking to his cheeks, and his eyes are brighter than the aquamarine surrounding them. He looks gorgeous, even with that grumpy furrow in his brow. “Happy I made you take your silly hat off?”

Chuuya humphs as he uses his two hands to push off Dazai’s chest, swimming a little distance away, “You didn’t have to push me in at all, it would have saved me the hours it took to get ready this mor—” Chuuya’s eyes widen, his hands plunging back into the water to feel his soaked pockets, “Ah shitty Dazai! My EpiPen!”

Dazai almost chokes on the water that’s up to his chin, “Chuuya! Why didn’t you take it out– wait, why do you even have that on you!? We are at home!” He swims forward, looking down at the waterlogged pen in Chuuya’s hand as the redhead scowls.

“I was about to go look at flowers and get lunch with the girls!”

“Heh, whoops~”

Tossing the pen to the concrete, Chuuya swims the rest of the distance to Dazai, yanking his dripping chocolate locks, “Whoops, indeed asshat, you owe me a hundred bucks.”

Dazai clicks his tongue, but the redhead pulls his head down and dunks him in the water before he can say anything. Before he knows it, he’s being pulled back out of the water, coughing slightly with a tiny giggle, “I’ll give you two hundred, just– just,” Another dunk, his arms flailing to grab the redhead’s wrist before he gets pulled back out, sputtering, “Spare me!”

Chuuya’s head tilts back, laughing as he lets go of Dazai with a shove, “You better keep your word. You’re lucky I have three more inside.”

The brunette pouts, using both his hands to get his sopping bangs out of his eyes, “Such a brute!”

“As if you're not the one who just threw me in.”

Moving to start swimming circles around Chuuya, he occasionally flicks water the redhead’s way, “You looked all prettied up this morning, couldn’t have that now could we?”

Chuuya’s eyes widen slightly as he turns over his shoulder to look at Dazai behind him, his cheeks feel warm despite the breeze hitting the chilled water on his face. He doesn’t get to respond though as Dazai splashes him, causing him to flinch back, “Hey!” He splashes Dazai back, eliciting a yelp from the boy.

Dazai groans, using both of his hands to wipe the water out of his lashes. When he opens them it’s to Chuuya up close and personal in his space, grinning at him stupidly handsome. 

The fact that Chuuya never got any less pretty once he got tossed in the water is beyond Dazai. The wet clothes sticking to his toned body, the glistening water on his lips, and the way the morning sun reflects on his eyes just as brightly as it reflects on the water should be a sin, really.

“And you look like a wet dog,” Chuuya says, placing his arms on Dazai’s shoulders to dunk him again.

Though Dazai is quick with it this time, reaching forward swiftly and pulling the boy under with him. He opens his eyes once he’s under, Chuuya’s a blur in the chlorine, though Dazai could never miss those eyes staring back at him.

Dazai wraps his arms tightly around Chuuya’s middle, holding him down as he watches the redhead blow bubbles out of his mouth, and he grins when he feels the other squirm in his hold.

Pulling them back up, Chuuya gives a closed-mouth smirk, blinking the water out of his lashes as he stares at Dazai.

“Chuu–yahhck,” Dazai sputters when Chuuya spits water in his face, “Ew Chuuya’s nasty!”

The redhead tosses his head back, cackling as Dazai pouts, tightening his arms around Chuuya as they are too deep for the shorter to reach comfortably, but not too deep for the brunette. He should throw Chuuya, and drown him for such disgusting behavior! He’s such a child!

“Do you know how many bodies have been in this pool?!” Dazai gasped, scandalized as some of the spit had gotten on his lips, “I’m going to get some type of deadly disease, one that will sure cause me a slow and painful death!”

Gaining his composure Chuuya lets out a breathy chuckle, his chin in the water as he looks up to Dazai. “Don’t be so dramatic,” He dips his mouth in again, sucking in a small amount of chlorine before he reaches up to pull Dazai down by his cheeks. The brunette’s eyes widen barely before Chuuya smashes their lips together, his tongue shoving its way through Dazai’s lips and pushing the water in along with it.

Dazai squirms, tightening his grip around the boy as his eyes flutter. He lets out a strangled noise in the back of his throat as the pool water drips down their chins. He doesn’t enjoy the mixed feelings this brings him, as this is the first time in three days he felt Chuuya’s lips against his own–but at what cost?

There’s no more water for the shorter to torment Dazai with, so the kiss should end there but their chests are pressed against each other and Chuuya wraps his arms around the nape of Dazai’s neck. The shorter fringes of the brown hair have water dripping against his freckled skin.

Dazai loses himself a little more than he’d like to admit, relishing in the way their soaked bodies create heat between the two of them. Hearing Chuuya’s rapidly increasing breath has Dazai lightheaded, enjoying the little voice in his head that tells him the redhead missed this as much as he had.

Kissing in the pool surely won’t lead to sex, so that’s where it gets a little confusing. Why does he want to kiss Chuuya, and why does Chuuya want to kiss him back? It gives him a fuzzy feeling in his stomach, even though he knows he shouldn’t let it.

And, the kiss is a bit of tension, a twinge of desperation. Dazai should just write it off as ‘his little sex fiend of a friend-with-benefit had gone without it for so many nights’. Though deep down he wonders if it’s a little more.

He tries to shove those thoughts away as he sinks deeper into the water to be the same height as Chuuya, allowing their chlorine-slick lips to slide against one another.

And Chuuya, much to his dismay, is the one tilting his head to deepen the kiss as if trying to get closer to Dazai than he already was.

Who would have thought the idea of losing this, whatever this is, to Sasaki so soon would have him so worked up? 

He thought about it the past few nights, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that— maybe, just maybe he doesn’t want to end their little agreement yet.

So what better way to keep it going than to show the brunette what he would be missing?

Would Dazai even miss it though?

A content sigh leaves Dazai’s lips as Chuuya’s hand runs through the wet mop on the top of his head. It’s stupid, he’s stupid for wanting this, but Dazai doesn’t seem to have any objections. 

So then why end it if things are fine? Because the thought had passed Chuuya’s mind once or twice these past couple of days, but seeing Dazai actually getting along with his parents, and seeing the idiot soaked and looking overly happy as if he belonged here in the water— it made Chuuya’s heartbeat a little faster, not good, he might add.

But he will blame it on the fact he ignored the asshole for a few days. He will ignore the weird feelings he gets and keep kissing and fucking the brunette for the time being until it inevitably ends one day. One day sooner than he expects now.

Their mouths part, barely a few inches from each other as they catch their breaths. Chuuya keeps his eyes closed, not willing himself to look at the asshat just yet because he knows he looks flustered and isn’t in the mood for Dazai to make fun of him. 

Though, the moment is embarrassingly ruined when a low whistle comes from the side of the pool. His eyes snap open, glaring to the side to see Ranpo smirking.

Dazai’s arms let go of Chuuya and now the redhead has to kick his legs if he doesn’t want to sink. 

“Ranpo~ come to join?” Dazai asks still short of breath as he splashes water towards the other brunette.

The boy scowls, taking a few steps back, “It’s like— a quarter till nine in the morning and you expect me to swim with you? Plus, you guys tainted the water!”

Feeling his face burn, Chuuya scrunches his nose and dunks his head under the water; swimming in the opposite direction from the two.

Brown eyes linger on Chuuya’s swimming form, watching him resurface a ways away, now facing the opposite way as he heads for the stairs to get out. Once he looks back at Ranpo the ass is giving him a knowing smirk.

As if he really knows what’s going on! Absurd.

Dazai scoffs, dunking his own head under to cool down. 

Chapter Text

It’s seven am. There’s no better way to be woken up in the morning than by a loud banging on your door, right?

Wrong.

But, Dazai doesn’t get the luxury of anything but that.

 He cracks his eye open, already sporting a headache as he turns to bury his face into the satin pillow. This is the one time he’s been able to actually sleep in, and someone decided to already ruin his day.

“Open the goddamn door, Dazai,” is the muffled voice of the culprit behind said door along with much more banging.

Ugh. Loud, obnoxious, stupid handsome-faced Chuuya .

“Leave me alone,” Dazai whines.

“No, get your lazy ass up!”

He opts to ignore the man in place of a response. 

The banging halts, coaxing Dazai into an artificial sense of relaxation. His shoulders loosen up as he lets out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes for about one, two—

The door knob jiggles, a pause.

Only two seconds before the banging increases, loud– so loud that Dazai fears the door may fly off its hinges, “Dazai! You fucking locked your door!?”

“To keep animals like you out–!”

“Shut up!” Comes a second muffled voice, Ranpo’s, “It’s seven in the goddamn morning, get a fucking life!”

Jesus.

Begrudgingly Dazai slides out from under his warm sheets. He stretches his back before rubbing some of the sleep out of his eyes on the way to the door. There better be a damn good reason Chuuya’s walking him up this early—

“What,” He hisses as he swings the door open.

Chuuya blinks.

Dazai blinks, tilting his head.

And, that’s when Dazaai realizes he is, in fact, only in his boxers, save for the bandages he never took off last night. Chuuya is fully dressed– fluffy oversized white sweater, black jeans, choker, and hair thrown into a messy ponytail– and, gods, does he look good. 

Those blue eyes have no problem sliding down Dazai’s form, greedily eating up everything he sees. Dazai’s fingers twitch, almost moving to slam the door in the redhead’s face but he hesitates when the boy smirks, locking eyes.

“Goodmorning.”

“Like what you see?”

“You must like what you see,” Chuuya fires back, eyes immediately looking back down to Dazai’s–

The brunette scowls, it’s a normal bodily function! It’s not his fault the redhead woke him up! He reaches out and yanks Chuuya into his room by the wrist; major miscalculation, though, when Chuuya’s body rams into his own.

A small squeak comes up Chuuya’s throat when his body touches Dazai’s. Every inch of skin and bandages against him feels like fire, and then down–

“What are you doing,” Chuuya manages to say, voice high-pitched and face burning hot. He uses his hands to push Dazai off by the chest; stumbling back into the now-closed door.

“Making sure no one else sees me like this!” Dazai huffs, hands splayed out as they motion to his body. Tousled brown hair, toned arms, flat stomach, basically naked—

Chuuya scowls, bright red all the way to his ears.

This is the least amount of clothes he’s seen Dazai in ever, save for the pool. But that’s different! That’s in swimming trunks, not half-hard in his boxers. And, he never takes his shirt off during sex!

“Do you guys have no shame!?” Ranpo’s voice comes behind the door as he slams his fist down on it, causing Chuuya to startle, “I can’t wait till we get back to Japan! I never want to share a house with the two of you again.”

Glaring at Dazai, Chuuya removes himself from the door as Ranpo walks away to start beating Dazai’s chest, “You’re so goddamn annoying, you know that? I meant what are you doing today.” He stammers out as Dazai whines, trying and failing to stop the fists attacking him.

“Sleeping. That’s what I was doing until you so rudely woke me up!”

Chuuya narrows his eyes as his fists stop. They stay rested on Dazai’s chest, “So no plans then?”

“Going back to sleep,” The brunette grabs Chuuya’s shoulders in an attempt to turn him around and throw him out of his room, but the shorter dodges him as he whirls around heading to Dazai’s dresser. “Heh? Get out!”

“You officially have new plans,” the intruder says, continuing to rummage through the clothes. He lifts a crumpled-up polo, “Ugh. Learn how to fold your laundry– this,” He drops the wrinkled shirt with a shiver, “Disgusting.”

Stifling the urge to roll his eyes, Dazai opts to scrub a hand down his face and head towards his bathroom, “Thanks Chuuya! So glad you woke up on the right side of the bed this morning!”

The next he knows, a pale yellow crewneck is being thrown at his face, along with gray jeans, and a hand shoving him farther into the bathroom, “Hurry up, we leave in–” He pulls his phone out of his pocket to glance at it, “Five minutes, Uber’s almost here.”

Grumbling Dazai shuts the door. He quickly unravels his bandages– avoiding looking in the mirror— rewraps himself with fresh bandages, throws on his clothes, and turns on the sink.

“And where is Chuuya taking me, hm? Oh! Is it some fancy date, oo I bet–”

“You owe me.” The other says behind the door.

Dazai narrows his eyes as he runs some water through his hair to ruffle it up in a less ‘you look like you just woke up from the best sleep of your life’ kind of way and more of a ‘this is a very intentional mess, thank you very much’ way while he files through his brain to remember why he owes anything to Chuuya.

“Owe?”

“Epipen.”

Ah. That thing.

Dazai begins to brush his teeth, opening the door to look at Chuuya who’s decided to lie on the edge of his bed, shoes hanging off because he’s not a menace to society. 

Chuuya lifts his head, eyes traveling down to the motion of Dazai’s toothbrush.

“You’re taking me to a pharmacy? Not a very romantic date, but I should have known you wouldn’t be good at planning those.” Dazai says with a mouth full of toothpaste, Chuuya scrunches his nose.

“No, Mall.”

The fact Chuuya didn’t deny it was a date gives him a warm feeling in his chest— though pushing that aside because what the fuck…

“There’s Epipens at the Mall?”

Chuuya gives him a quizzical look, “Gods, you’re so stupid,” He watches Dazai finish rinsing his mouth out before he hops off the bed, all but dragging the brunette out of the bathroom by his wrist. The boy’s hand instantly sends heat straight through the fabric of his clothes and bandages, “You are spending that two hundred dollars you owe me on clothes. I heard all the luxury brands in Greece are hella discounted compared to Japan’s.”

“Heh, I’ve never had a sugar baby before,” Dazai says as he follows Chuuya out of the room and down the hall.

All he gets in return is a scoff.

And, there’s this thrumming under his skin. He feels a strange thrill crawl up his spine and a small smile curves the corner of his lips. Why does the idea of spending his money on Chuuya excite him?

Ugh. Not good.

Dazai yelps as he runs into Chuuya’s hard, muscular back. He didn’t realize the boy stopped, but once he glanced up he realized why.

His eyes light up, “Lady Nakahara-san–!”

Chuuya tenses, hand tightening absentmindedly around Dazai’s wrist as the brunette’s eyes slide over to the second person who blocked their way out.

His eyes dim, “And Shirase.”

The ex smiles awkwardly with a short wave.

“Goodmorning, Mom– Shirase. I can’t talk, Uber’s here.” He shakes his phone for emphasis.

“Oh, don’t worry baby. I won’t keep you two for long.”

“Er, Okay… what’s up?”

Fuku smiles; Shirase frowns.

“Your father and I are having breakfast with Kouyou, and then we are taking her to look at shoes. We need–” She glances at Shirase, then back at the two boys in front of her, “Can you take him with you? I don’t want him sitting around all day, Chuuya. I won’t be here and you need to spend time with someone besides just Dazai all the time.”

Great. What is this? Babysitting!?

Chuuya opens his mouth to respond– a proper excuse for why this is unnecessary– but then, the Uber honks. Twice.

The redhead puckers his lips, “Uh, yeah, whatever, but if you come then we are leaving right now.”

And that’s how Dazai ended up being squished between both Shirase and Chuuya in the back of a run-down, blue Chevrolet. 

Not how Dazai would have liked to spend his morning, though the feel of Chuuya’s thigh pressed up against his own isn’t so bad. Shirase’s though, eh, not so much. 

Chuuya taps the window before turning and giving the two men an awkward smile, “I wanted to check out Calvin Klein– they had some nice tops for a little less than a hundred… maybe check out Sephora for a new eyeliner for the wedding. Oh! They also have a Louis Vuitton there I wanted to check out,” Dazai raises a brow, so Chuuya blows out a huff making his bangs flutter, “I know it’s more than 200, I just wanted to check out their leather selection. It’s hot, okay? I just want to try shit on.”

Chuuya’s mouth twists as a faint pink hue graces his cheeks. It’s endearing, to see him get embarrassed by the things he gets excited about.

Dazai opens his mouth, finger lifting to poke Chuuya’s cheek and ready to make fun of him, but Shirase speaks first.

Dazai’s finger pauses mid-air.

“Why is your limit 200?”

Chuuya swats Dazai’s hand away before he brings his own finger up to poke at the brunette’s cheek– rather aggressively, might Dazai add. “Because this idiot waterlogged my Epipen, so he owes me money.”

“Chuuya’s so mean. It was his fault he didn’t take it out of his pocket!”

“I was more concerned for my shoes! I was not going to ruin my new docs.”

“I would have done you a favor! I might need to up the price; you need a whole new wardrobe. Such tacky– ow, you–! Ow!”

“You’re so goddamn annoying,” Chuuya hisses as his fingers weave farther into Dazai’s hair, twisting and pulling.

“And you’re a mooching sugar baby!”

“And you’re a shitty sugar daddy!”

“Guys—”

Dazai gasps, cutting Shirase off, “Chuuya! I’ll have you know I am the best sugar daddy.” He grins, leaning into Chuuya’s personal space, “And I just love to spoil my babies~”

The sultry tone doesn’t go past Chuuya, nor does the insinuation. His cheeks heat up as his eyes widen, shoving Dazai’s face away, “Ew! You pervert!”

“Aw, but Chuuya loves it when Daddy spoils him in bed~”

“AUGH! I’m gonna be sick–”

“Guys!!” Shirase screeches, “We are here!”

Dazai blinks, turning away from the crimson Chuuya to look at the gigantic Athen’s Mall. Ah, they are indeed here.

Chuuya quickly gets out of the car, mumbling a thanks to the driver with a promise of a big tip. Dazai goes to follow him out, but no, Chuuya slams the door in his face. 

He huffs, rude.

Sulking, Dazai crawls out through Shirase’s side– who had held the door open for him.

“How does it look?” Chuuya gives a little spin after stepping out of the Calvin Klein dressing room.

Dazai scoffs, and Shirase beams.

“It looks great on you!”

Fucking Shirase, stupid— doesn’t know a thing about–

“It’s just a plain white polo, Chuuya. You have like twenty of them in your suitcase! I don’t even want to know how many you have back in Japan!”

The redhead scrunches his nose and crosses his arms over his chest, “Yeah, but I don’t have this one. This one is an Egyptian cotton fabric polo. It’s pristine, it’s fashionable and comfortable, it’s–!”

“Okay, okay okay. Okay.” Dazai interjects as he stands up, walks over to a rack, and finds an olive green cotton V-neck vest. Then he walks back to Chuuya, throwing it at him— the boy, of course, scowls back, “Put this over, the green will look good with your hair.”

Chuuya’s face becomes void of the scowl. He glances down and squeezes the fabric between his fingers before looking back up, “Are you okay?”

It’s a very genuine, very serious question that Dazai straightens his back.

“Heh?”

“Are you okay?” Chuuya asks again, blinking. “You just complimented me and had some sense of fashion all in three breaths, I just want to make sure you’re not dying. Do I need to order an Uber to the hospital?”

“Ha, ha you are sooo funny, Chuuya! Really you should be a comedian!” Dazai deadpans before turning Chuuya around by the shoulders and slapping his ass, “Now go, shoo–”

Chuuya yelps, “You asshole!” He turns around to punch Dazai but his fist pauses mid-air when he sees how close Dazai’s face is to his. He’s grinning, pretty white teeth and all. 

Chuuya’s face crumbles, ‘Fuck you’ he mouths.

“Later,” Dazai whispers in his ear, his breath hot. Chuuya’s eyes widen a fraction as his breath hitches. He shoves Dazai out of the changing room before flipping him off and slamming the door in his face.

Dazai huffs, biting his lip to hide his smile before a flash of silver invades his peripherals.

He scowls.

Shirase is glancing up at him from where he’s seated; his hands tucked between his thighs, “You really like him, huh?”

It’s more of an observation than a question. 

One that— for some reason– Dazai almost immediately answered with a ‘yes’, no hesitation. But he stops himself because woah that almost just came out without thinking.

Because he really is starting to like Chuuya. A lot, but is it in the sense that Shirase is referring to?

For their little ‘contract’ the ‘fake dating’ the answer is yes, but he wasn’t thinking about that when he almost blurted his answer.

What was he thinking about?

Does he like Chuuya more than just–

“Okay, I’ll give it to you. I actually really like this,” Chuuya says as he swings the door open; startling slightly at how close Dazai still is. 

Dazai takes a few steps back to take in the view.

He’s standing there in all his short, handsome glory. Hand on his hip as he smiles brightly. Dazai was right, the olive green over the white polo clashes perfectly with his fiery auburn hair. It’s exactly what he imagined in his head. And those sapphire eyes, plump lips, pale freckled skin–

“You’re drooling,” Chuuya’s smile becomes a smirk.

“I think you look stunning,” Shirase’s stupid voice cuts in; he’s smiling with a little too much fondness in his eyes for Dazai’s liking.

Those blue eyes drift away from Dazai to look at the other, “Thanks, Shirase.”

Dazai’s stomach churns. Now Chuuya’s gaze is soft– it’s reminiscent. It’s gross.

“Eh, I thought it would look better.” He blurts.

The attention is back on him in an instant. It’s a scowl and not the pretty soft waves of the ocean in those eyes, but that’s okay. It’s better than the former.

“Liar.” Chuuya huffs, fiddling with the plush fabric between his fingers.

Dazai’s eyes flicker down before looking back at the other’s face. Something is off. Something that the brunette doesn’t like, and especially doesn’t like because he can’t figure it out.

“What’s wrong?”

Chuuya shakes his head, backing a step into the dressing room, “Nothing.”

The door shuts again and Dazai instantly glances over at Shirase.

The boy is chuckling at something on his phone– not at all having the same internal crisis as Dazai is currently having.

After Chuuya’s back in his regular fit, he places the olive vest back on the shelf.

Dazai blinks.

“Are you not getting that?”

“No.”

“Did you not like how it looked?” He thought Chuuya did. Dazai for sure liked the way it looked on the redhead.

“I did, just out of the price range if I get both.” Chuuya chuckles softly, scratching at the nape of his neck before holding up the polo, “I wanted eyeliner. So, I’ll just get this here.”

Ah.

The brunette scoffs, reaching over and pulling the vest back off the shelf, “Idiot. You look gorgeous in it. That is the only reason why I’m doing this. I’ll buy all three.” The boy's brows furrow, “Will that make you happy?”

“Gorgeous?” 

Dazai’s cheeks heat up. Did he really say that? “Heh, sorry did I say gorgeous? I meant fat.”

“Oi!” Chuuya bristles, looking like a cat ready to pounce, “Just for that, you are buying all three! And I won’t feel bad!”

Mission Accomplished. 

Dazai mock-pouts. “Chuuya’s just using me for my money!” He whines, “Is this all I am to you!”

“Shut up before I shove my fist in your mouth.”

There’s his Chuuya.

“Heh, kinky.”

It’s safe to say, Dazai will have a shoe-sized bruise on his ass tomorrow.

By the time they made it out of Calvin Klein, passed a soft pretzel booth and a boba tea shop— Dazai’s already spent well over the given amount he owed Chuuya.

He can’t help it. Shirase offers and Dazai does not let anyone but himself spoil Chuuya. Thank you very much.

Because the way Chuuya shimmies happily as he chews on his pretzel and begs Dazai to try his boba tea is doing unspeakable things to the brunette. 

He will indulge, plus they are supposed to look like a couple, right? These are couples' activities.

And when Chuuya grabs his hand and pulls him into Sephora— well, he gives a victorious smirk to Shirase before interlacing their fingers for good measure. 

They leave Sephora with a bit more than just eyeliner.

On their way out of the mall, the Louis Vuitton store comes up to their right. 

Shirase and Chuuya were mid-conversation. What exactly, Dazai doesn’t care.

This is the perfect conversation ender.

“Chuuya!” Dazai exclaims, and for the hell of it, he reaches forward and yanks hard on the red ponytail that he’s been staring at for the past five minutes. Chuuya tenses as his body bends backward uncomfortably. He quickly turns on his heels and rips Dazai’s hand off him with a hissed ‘what’.

Grinning, Dazai points to the side with the hand that’s not in Chuuya’s death grip. “I thought you wanted to take a look.”

Glancing over in the direction Dazai pointed at, Chuuya’s pretty mouth forms an ‘o’

“But the Uber’s five minutes away,” Shirase interjects.

Ugh.

“Cancel it, I think my greedy little mooch would love some expensive leather jackets. I’ll pay for the way back.”

Before he’s even finished with his last syllable, Chuuya’s already dragging him into the store. Shirase follows in toe.

“I am not mooching, by the way, you just keep insisting! And, I want to try shit on, not buy.”

The next twenty minutes are spent following the shorter around. Dazai can practically see the hearts swimming around in those sapphire eyes.

Dazai’s entranced. He silently watches Chuuya’s every movement. The way he hums silently in appreciation to the fine leathers. How his fingers still grip tightly onto the brunette’s wrist as if it’s second nature to touch each other now. Even his tiny exaggerated gasps when he finds something he loves are endearing, comforting even.

He wringles out of Chuuya’s grip before he does something stupid like confess how much he’s enjoying the redhead’s company or before he kisses that stupid handsome face.

Chuuya glances up at him from the mountain of outfits he’s holding in his other arm, “Where are you going?”

Dazai purses his lips, “Gonna look around. Maybe buy my own fancy clothes!”

“Do you need help?”

No, he wants Chuuya away from him. He needs breathing room.

“Does Chuuya not believe in my fashion tastes? What about earlier?! You liked that!”

“Tsk, you just got lucky that time.” A pause, “I can help… be a second opinion.”

Gods, he’s just so kissable right now and Dazai can’t handle that.

With a flippant flick of the wrist, Dazai turns on his heels, “I know you’ll miss my presence. I won’t be too long, darling.”

“Asshole, don’t come back at all,” Chuuya grumbles as he quickly turns away. Dazai doesn’t miss the faint smile on those lips contradicting his whole statement.

In the end, Dazai doesn’t wander too far. He still keeps a close eye on Chuuya. Obviously, it’s to make sure he doesn’t drown in that heap of clothes. He’s so tiny! There’s a possibility!

Every so often Chuuya glances over at the brunette as well.

Eventually, Shirase makes his way back to Chuuya. Annoying, all smiles and laughs as he helps Chuuya hold his clothes and pick out more for the redhead to try on.

It’s once ten minutes pass that Dazai gets irritated. Chuuya completely forgot his existence once he and Shirase got to talking.

This is the second time this has happened today. Chuuya’s brain is so tiny that he can’t comprehend two people near him at once. 

So, Dazai decides to take matters into his own hands.

He looks at himself in one of the sunglasses mirrors and ruffles his hair slightly. He needs to look good. A beautiful unsuspecting male that will fall victim to the help of that pretty sales associate.

Now, he just needs to find a clothing rack and look confused and helpless. 

Five minutes later, his plan is in motion.

“Hello sir, is there anything specific you are looking for? I could always give a few professional suggestions.”

Dazai turns, keeping the furrow in his brow and holding back his smirk. 

“Really? That would be so kind if it’s not a bother.”

The lady–long brown hair and dusty gray siren eyes— greets him. Her lips are a lush cheery-red and her outfit screams high class.

A goddess. Though, if she were to stand next to Chuuya she wouldn’t compare. 

“Oh of course not, I’d love to help!” She giggles, then starts looking toward the clothing, “What kind of look are you going for?”

He taps his chin in contemplation, stealing a glance in Chuuya’s direction. Shirase must be the most entertaining host because why can’t Chuuya even glance his way?

“Something that accentuates all of this,” He runs his hands down his snatched waist all the way to his hips and over his ass with a flamboyant smile that has her eyes brightening and cheeks flushing as she cackles.

His eyes widen a fraction. Either this woman is desperate or Dazai’s the funniest person alive.

Either way, it works like a charm because a flash of red snaps toward his direction in the corner of his eyes.

Ten minutes later Dazai is looking at himself in one of the changing rooms. And okay, yeah, he’s hot. He’s wearing a skin-tight black tank top that lines the curves of his waist perfectly. It tucks into a thick black belt with an ‘LV’ on the buckle for Louis Vuitton that holds up a pair of tight leather pants. All black fit and the leather pants make his ass look good. Like damn good. At the ankles the leather flairs out slightly. He had never been the one to wear pants like this— let’s just say, he looks like the devil in disguise and if he could, he’d kiss himself. 

He’s never felt so confident in an outfit before. Though, he feels like it’s missing something.

He struts out of the changing room. The lady is standing there, eyes wide and full of excitement as she claps her hands together– face flushing a dark shade of red.

“Holy hell, you look hot –” She blurts, and if possible, flushes even darker, “I mean–”

“Dazai!” Chuuya hisses, stomping up to him with Shirase stumbling up behind him, “What are you wearing!”

Dazai smirks, tearing his gaze away from the gray to look at the bright blue life in Chuuya’s eyes, “You’re drooling~,” He repeats back the formers words from earlier.

Chuuya stammers, his fingertips grazing his bottom lip as if to wipe away the invisible drool, “Shut up, you’re hot.”

Dazai’s heart almost leaps out of his throat. He was not expecting Chuuya to be so forward.

The brunette opens his mouth, but Chuuya holds a hand up. “Please, don’t let that go to your head.”

To late!

“Wait!” The girl breaks in, “I know just what will finish the fit.” 

She hurries off to a rack, flicking through the pieces of clothing before she pulls one out and runs back.

“Put this on over the tanktop.”

And so he does. It’s a black netted mesh top, cropped. It has sleeves but doesn’t go very far down his thorax. He hadn’t had a chance to look at it, but the way Chuuya’s eyes widened and dilated– It must be good.

He turns around, looking at himself in the mirror. Yeah, this is what he was missing.

Chuuya comes up behind him, clinging onto his arm with his signature death grip as he glares at Dazai through the mirror, “So unfair,” He grits through his teeth.

“Chains,” The girl whispers, “I’ll go find you silver chains!” 

And, she’s off.

“Heh, she’s really feeling the—”

Before he can finish, Chuuya yanks him into the changing room and slams the door, turning the lock.

Dazai’s eyes are blown wide when those strong hands push him against the wall, “Woah, someone can’t keep it in their pants.”

“Shut up,” Chuuya’s voice is hoarse as he pulls Dazai down by the mesh top so they are at eye level, “You’ve been doing this all goddamn day. You know what you’re doing to me.”

Dazai’s face burns as he feels Chuuya’s hot breath on his lips. Definitely a positive reaction, though he’s not sure what he’s been doing all day to make the redhead this… heh, turned on?

“Mind enlightening me on the obvious then?” He pushes, even though his heart rate is spiking by the second.

Chuuya’s free hand runs down Dazai’s chest, stilling at his naval as he scoffs, “Of course you want me to spell it out for you.” A pause, “This stupid stunt you pulled. Don’t think I wouldn’t notice, and then the whole buttering me up and calling me gorgeous,” He flushes as he talks, hand moving to Dazai’s belt, “you making everything dirty and inappropriate– and, and then this morning!”

Dazai’s holding his breath but furrows his brows before the realization dawns on him. He grins wide, “Chuuya got turned on by my morning wood!”

Dazai yelps as teeth dig into his neck before an apologetic lick soothes it, “Gods, ew don’t say it like that.” Chuuya whisper-snaps, “You were practically naked and hard! It’s not my fault.”

Thin fingers ghost over his crotch. Embarrassing as it is, he’s already starting to get hard. Chuuya shouldn’t be biting him like that and pinning him against walls in public.

Chuuya’s eyes flicker back up, dilated and full of want as his fingers start to take off Dazai’s belt.

“Chuu–” His voice is strained as he reaches to stop him, “You can’t… do you know how much trouble we’d ahh,” His breath hitches as Chuuya’s fingers dip under the waistband of the leather, “mm catches us.”

Smirking, Chuuya drops down to his knees, never breaking eye contact, “I very well do know the risks. If I recall, a restaurant is no better than a changing room.”

Flashes of Chuuya barely able to hold back a moan at the dinner table has the blood in Dazai’s face instantly going south, “Shit,” He curses under his breath, “I.. heh, apologize?”

Chuuya tsks, fingers finally getting the belt undone, “Too late for that.” He whispers against the brunette’s thigh.

“You can’t– in these clothes,” Dazai tries to come up with anything at this point, but the smirk on Chuuya’s lips tells him he won’t be getting out of this… and secretly he doesn’t want to.

“I guess you’ll just have to buy them.”

The brunette inhales sharply as soon as the redhead pulls the pants down, now pooling at his ankles as a warm hand grips his thigh. He’s out in the open, flushed and hard in a mall changing room.

“You know these are ahh,” He bites his lip as Chuuya kisses right below his navel, “almost ten thousand dollars.”

“But you look so good,” Chuuya murmur’s and Dazai can’t help the small whine that escapes his lips as the other’s hot breath hits his cock along with the praise.

Chuuya puts his fingers up to his lips, looking up at Dazai behind pretty ginger lashes as he shushes him. A moment later his free hand grabs Dazai and wraps his lips around the head of his cock. Dazai can’t help the shuttered breath he takes as his head leans back and thuds against the wall. Fuck, Chuuya’s really doing this right now. 

“What about–” Dazai pants as Chuuya’s lips sink farther down his shaft, “Shirase.”

The moment the name comes out of his mouth, he tenses. Chuuya does too.

Gross. He never wants to say that name again in such a sinful way. He might actually have to wash his mouth out with soap.

Chuuya immediately retracts himself, “Never say another man's name again while I’m sucking you off.” He leans forward and bites Dazai’s thigh hard causing the brunette to groan– his hand shooting up to cover his mouth as his eyes prickle with pleasure.

“Fuck, okay I’m sorry— just hurry up.” 

Chuuya nods, knowing they can’t take very long anyway, and engulfs Dazai again. It’s so warm, and wet. It has Dazai’s back arching off the wall as he digs his hand into Chuuya’s ponytail. 

The redhead hums around him sending vibrations straight to his head effectively unhinging Dazai’s jaw around a silent moan.

His hips buck forward at a rather hard suck from Chuuya’s mouth and the redhead groans, his nails digging into Dazai’s hip.

Chuuya, as Dazai mentioned earlier, is gorgeous. His eyes never leave Dazai, though they are red-rimmed with unshed tears. His lips are swollen and glistening with saliva. So gorgeous that Dazai has to look up at the ceiling so he doesn’t finish right then.

The flat of Chuuya’s tongue presses against the underside as he slowly slides to the tip, his tongue dips into the slit, licking up any precum that had begun to form. It has Dazai’s knees buckling and core tightening. 

“Chuuya ahh , fuck, okay. Enough,” He groans. He can feel Chuuya smiling around him. Evil short gremlin. “Somone’s gonna hear–”

“Sir?” The woman's voice calls. Shit, he forgot about her. Chuuya freezes for a second, reddened eyes glancing over at the lock before he continues tenfold. Dazai chokes down his moan as he bites his hand hard. “Are you still dressed? I got held up with a different customer– but, I brought some chains that I think would look really good with–”

“Sorry, no.. ahh uh I’m undressed,” Chuuya sucks even harder as punishment for the time he ordered crab with a vibrator up his ass, and Dazai’s back arches far off the wall, a sharp cry escaping his lips as he teeters on the edge. He tries to cough to hide it, though it may be in vain, “mm, allergies… just no. I’m fine.” Dazai grits out through clenched teeth.

“Uh,” There’s a whispered voice in the background, probably Shirase’s before the lady clears her throat, “Right, let me know if you need anything else.” The telltale sound of her heels fading proves she’s gone, and that’s enough for Dazai to allow himself to tip completely over the edge finally.

He gives Chuuya one tug against his hair as a warning, but it only eggs Chuuya on to go even harder and faster.

A broken– as quiet as possible– moan escapes Dazai’s lips as he shutters through his blinding orgasm. And, maybe it’s the thrill of doing something so private in public, or maybe it’s just the way Chuuya’s throat opens up to swallow every last drop of him with a satisfied hum, or maybe, it’s just the fact that everything about Chuuya makes him feel energized, exhilarated. It’s something that has him smiling genuinely as he pulls Chuuya up by the shoulders and slams their mouths together– tasting the sweet saltiness of himself on Chuuya’s tongue– as he lets out a breathy laugh.

Chuuya barely has any time to speak or situate himself before he melts against Dazai’s hold on him.

“You drive me crazy,” Dazai whispers against his lips before he pulls back a little, finally giving the redhead a chance to breathe.

Chuuya’s eyes are wide, cheeks tinted and lips covered in saliva as he breathes heavily, “I could say the same for you,” His voice is raspy and barely above a whisper.

Grinning, the brunette moves his hand down to Chuuya’s waistband, dipping one finger in and—

“Oi, get your hands off me,” Chuuya smirks as he stumbles a few steps back.

Dazai blinks, a little confused. “Don’t you want–”

Chuuya shakes his head, “I got what I wanted.”

Oh. 

Oh.

He’s never had someone give and not want back. That’s new and extremely confusing for a ‘friends-with-benefits' kind of relationship. Though, maybe Chuuya’s just not in the mood– or maybe he just wanted to see Dazai suffer.

Either way, he doesn’t get much time to think about it when Chuuya surprises him with a quick kiss on his cheek and slips out the door so he can change out of his Louis Vuitton fit that he now has to drop more than a few thousand on.

And, as Chuuya shuts the fitting room door– wiping a hand across his mouth with hair disheveled– he is not going to entertain Shirase’s pale face when he has many other things to think about because…

Did he just… kiss Dazai on the cheek like it was fucking muscle memory. Like they were actually dating or… in love– or–

What the hell just happened?

Chapter Text

“Are you sick?”

Dazai blinks the dryness from his eyes, glancing across the table. 

Magenta eyes narrow at him– evaluate him as if she could ever comprehend the insanity that goes on in Dazai’s brain. 

“That’s not sickness,” Ranpo smirks in his spot next to Yosano. The three of them decided it would be nice to stop by the diner this morning, for old-time sake.

But, it was more like Dazai was clawing at the mattresses to stay in bed while Yosano pulled him out by the ankles. Ranpo, the accomplice, giggled at Dazai’s demise the whole time with a cherry lollipop hanging from his fingertips. 

The betrayal. 

“What do you mean ‘that’s not sickness’,” She throws her arms flippantly toward the brunette, “You act like you know everything. That boy’s pale in the face, and you think he’s not coming down with something?”

Dazai blinks again, sluggish as his eyes wander to the cold scrambled eggs on his plate, next to them are watery grits. Now, if he were sick— it would be because of those. 

Disgusting. 

But no. This is far worse than any illness.

How many days has it been? Oh yes, coming on day number three after that whole escapade to the mall. 

Three days since that dressing room— Chuuya’s lips against his cheek…

Thin fingers snap in front of his face. He barely has the wits to hold back his flinch before dragging his eyes up again with a pretty smile across his lips, “Akiko.”

“Osamu.”

It sounds like she’s scolding him.

He scowls, eyes flickering to the side to see Ranpo discreetly try to steal the rest of Dazai’s breakfast. 

“What happened? Was it Mori?”

Oh god, he wishes it was Mori.

He slides his plate towards Ranpo and sighs as dramatically as possible, “Maybe I am catching something.”

“Well, good thing your best friend’s in med-school. Tell us your symptoms–”

“I’m not in med school.” Ranpo tuts, brows furrowing as he dips his spoon into Dazai’s grits.

“You know, for someone who claims to know everything you sure are oblivious.”

Dazai shakes his head, hiding a smile behind the coffee mug in his hand, “Well… I guess there are a few things I’m feeling.” He tilts his head, thinking, “It could be just a regular stomach flu… gastroenteritis or something.” He shivers, ew, Mori would love to hear him say a word like that.

She straightens, fingers tapping at her chin in thought, “You nauseous? Headache… dizzy, Oh! Diarrhea–!”

Dazai’s face crumbles; scandalized. “You think so low of me! I’m wounded. I’ll have you know I am actually constipated. Haven’t shit in days.”

“You know what. Grits don’t sound so good after all,” Ranpo grumbles as he shoves his plate away.

“Okay, then tell me what you’re feeling– and I can give you some laxatives if you–”

He holds his hand up in front of her face to shut her up. She scowls and swats at him.

“Let’s stray away from my bowel movement, shall we?”

“Please,” Ranpo begs.

“Fine, lay it out then.”

He takes a brief moment to think about it. He’s never felt quite like this before so it’s hard to pinpoint everything. Though, a few things do stick out.

And what? Yosano is the best person for this…? Right? Mori is his only other choice because he hates going to the doctor. 

“I get this like,” He scrunches his nose, gesturing in the air between them, “feeling in my stomach. It’s like— intense, but only sometimes. It’s like a pressure but then it also feels like my organs are being plunged out of my abdomen. But then! It also feels like they are twisting in on themselves. Even my chest burns and my heart rate picks up.” He gives a firm nod, yes this is definitely a bad prognosis. Maybe he doesn’t need her help. He’s smart enough to figure it out himself. He blinks, and a flash of orange and blue fills his senses, like a memory on repeat, “And then I even get lightheaded, like the room is spinning or I’m high off my ass when I’m as sober as a door.”

“Sober as a door,” Yosano mutters under her breath, thin brows knit inward. 

“You just said a whole lot of fucking nothing” 

Dazai’s lips pucker as he glares at Ranpo, “You know what? I think I figured it out myself. I have pancreatic cancer.”

It’s silent for a good thirty seconds before Yosano starts cackling— howling and it makes Dazai’s face burn. 

“This is serious!”

“Not that serious!” And he will give it to her, she’s really trying to compose herself. Yosano bites her hand as she takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and surely counting to ten before she opens them again with the most stoic expression she’s capable of.

“Mentally, how are you feeling mentally? Let’s continue there.”

That’s a good question because now Dazai’s going through the five stages of grief knowing he might have less than a year to live. 

“You see it fluctuates, you know?” She nods in encouragement. Ranpo’s given up and is now playing Candy Crush on his phone. “I get super elated and almost giddy— bleh gross, am I right?” She doesn’t share his sentiments as she rolls her eyes, “and then I get nervous out of nowhere, oh! And you can't forget this intense crushing feeling that makes me want to bash someone’s head in.”

Ranpo glances up, face pale, “Maybe he’s bipolar.”

Yosano tsks, “That’s not it,” She brushes Ranpo off as she narrows her eyes again at Dazai. He feels stripped bare in the most uncomfortable way possible. “What brings up these different emotions? Are there triggers?”

Oh yes, so many triggers.

See? She gets him; she understands him.

“Well, when Chuuya—“

“Imma have you stop right there.”

He clasps his mouth shut. Ranpo’s smirking again for unknown reasons while Yosano runs a hand through her silky raven hair. 

“Okay, sorry. I just needed a moment to prepare. Continue.” She gives him a smile that he can’t decipher the difference between being genuine and mockery. 

Now he’s not so sure he wants to continue.

But, pancreatic cancer is one of the worst possible scenarios so he has to rule it out before he can move on. 

“Okay…” He bites his bottom lip, “As I was saying, when Chuuya trips over himself every day I can’t help but feel elated! Like come on, the boy has a terrible center of gravity!” 

She doesn’t look as entertained as she should. 

“And he’s so damn expressive it makes my stomach nauseous— the organs twisting on themselves kind of nauseous I was telling you about earlier. Even his ugly— pretty?” He squints, just because they are fake dating, how far does he have to go when explaining how he feels? These are serious feelings! “His smile makes my heart rate speed up. He’s gonna give me a heart attack! Can a person be a trigger?”

Maybe a heart attack is a good thing. Maybe it will cancel out the cancer. 

His rant continues, going down his grievances in the form of a small redhead. At some point, he forgot what they were talking about, now it just feels like a therapy session. 

“Don’t get me started on Shirase. He acts like he’s married to Chuuya. Like, please! Get a damn room, I can see him undressing Chuuya with his eyes!”

“Is that where the urge to crush someone’s head comes in?” Ranpo deadpans. He tried to wrap up the topic an hour ago but Yosano silenced him. 

Dazai pauses, mouth open as he was about to complain some more but then he scrunches his nose. “He does seem to trigger that emotion. Is it possible certain people can—“

“Is murder tendencies an emotion?”

“Ranpo, hush he’s talking.”

Those emerald eyes roll as he orders his nth hot chocolate since they had arrived this morning at the diner. 

Dazai sighs, slumping down in his chair, “Anyway, back to my symptoms— my brain, it goes to— static. You know, some type of brain fog.“ Yosano nods, so he continues, “It actually happened a few days ago. I was at the mall.”

She hums, “And what were you doing to feel that way?”

“Ah,” He squints his eyes, looking past the two as if it would help recall the exact moment his brain stopped working the other day. 

The dressing room. 

”I was in this changing room, I’ll spare the details but after that, I couldn’t focus the rest of the day. Chuuya kissed my cheek and then—“

“I’m so over this!” Ranpo all but cries, “You’re in love, get a goddamn grip!”

Dazai stiffens; hand frozen midair from where he was using it to emphasize his struggles.

Love? How laughable. 

He chuckles a little breathlessly, “What? Silly Ranpo, love has nothing to do with cancer.”

Yosano smirks, “And neither does Chuuya.”

Dazai scowls, “Chuuya has nothing to do with any of this! This is my body,” He’s borderline desperate, “My pancreas!”

“Then why is Chuuya the only thing you can talk about!” Ranpo snaps but then simmers down when a few couples at the other tables glance their way. 

Yosano nods, “He seems to be the root of your problem—which, for all that it’s worth, it’s not a problem especially since you two are dating.”

Dazai’s stomach hurts. He feels like he’s about to throw up. “I’m not in love, we are just, you know, seeing where things go. We are taking it slow.”

“You don’t choose who you fall in love with, Osamu.”

Ranpo nods, “We see the way you look at him. Don’t worry he looks at you the same way.”

What way?! They are faking this whole thing! Chuuya doesn’t look at him in any sort of way. 

Dazai tightens his fingers around his thighs, frustrated. “You guys were supposed to help me.”

“We are! Everything— all your ‘symptoms’” Yosano emphasizes with air quotes, “are a result from falling in love. You’re happy when he’s around, nervous when he gets too close to you, and jealous when you see him with Shirase.”

“I don’t get jealous.”

“Oh please ,” She laughs as if he said the funniest joke. He doesn’t find any of this humorous. ”I was the same way when I first met Ozaki; still am sometimes.”

He inhales calmly, closing his eyes. Obviously they are going to think he’s in love with Chuuya. He’s good at faking it. But, that doesn’t explain everything he’s actually feeling. 

The feelings he’s explained to them aren’t fake. 

And, he needs to get to the bottom of them.

He’ll prove it.

He’s not in love with Chuuya, and Chuuya isn’t in love with him either.

——-

“Chuuya.” Kouyou scolds for the fifth time now, “Delicate. Do you not know what that word means?”

His eye twitches as he takes a deep breath to hold back from crushing the wet clay in his hand. 

Pottery. Who invented making pottery? 

“I am delicate.” It grits through his teeth.

“Yes, that’s why there are finger imprints in a ‘round’ vase.”

His hands reflexively tighten, creasing his clay even more. It doesn’t even have a defined shape anymore at this point. 

Why the hell can everyone else do this, but him? He glances up and around at the other participants in this stupid ‘pottery class’ Kouyou forced him into this morning. 

Perfect, round vases and bowls. 

“Do you need help, sir?” The teacher asks as she comes around. His eye twitches.

“It’s fine, thank you.” 

See? He’s delicate. He can be delicate. 

She gives him a wary smile as she turns away, “Pottery comprises the larger part of the archaeological way back in ancient Greece. If you look at the pieces up front you can almost see the history behind it. Beautiful isn’t it?”

Kouyou tilts her head into Chuuya’s view. Her thin pinkened brows are furrowed as she inspects him. 

“I think this was a bad idea.” She states after getting whatever answers she was looking for.

“Hah?!” He scowls as he begins reshaping his clay into a lump so he can start over. “I’m having a wonderful time, Ane-san. Swear.”

“Then quit glaring at the woman like she murdered your entire family.”

“She seems like the type—“

“Chuuya.”

He groans, glaring at her bowl. It looks so crushable but he knows it’s a gift for Yosano so he refrains.

“What happened?”

All the anger seeps out of him as he glances up into her cherry-red eyes. They are so full of worry that it puts him on edge. 

And, well, he can’t lie to her. Not more than he already has this last month. 

He’s lied about so much.

“Dazai happened.” He gives with a resigned sigh.

She nods as if she already knew that. “What did he do?”

And that’s the thing. He didn’t do anything. 

He didn’t need to for Chuuya to…

“I kissed his cheek,” Chuuya whispers as he digs his thumb into the clay.

Kouyou’s lips part in shock.

He knows, fuck he knows that it’s so odd. Why would he kiss Dazai on the cheek?! They don’t do that! Fake relationships don’t do that in private and surely not after giving the other participant head. 

It’s like his body was pulled by some magnet, and he’s not sure why. 

It makes him feel like he’s walking on eggshells when he and Dazai are alone. When they fucked last night he had to refrain from doing it again after they finished like some stupid fool in love. 

At this point, he likes to be near Dazai more when other people are around. At least he doesn’t have to fight the urges to touch him freely when they are around others.

It’s normal— it’s for show in front of their family. He can do whatever, and have a perfect excuse. 

He has no excuse for doing it in private. 

And sue him, he loves physical touch. It’s his love language, but love language and Dazai in the same sentence leaves him lightheaded.

“Why is that, out of all things bothering you?”

He blinks. 

What?

“That’s what’s shocking to you?!”

She nods, “Kissing your lover's cheek is normal.”

He has to look away from her so she can’t see the confusion swimming in his eyes. 

“Did he get mad?” She whispers. 

“What? No. That’s not why I’m—“

“Did he say anything about it?”

He glares at her, “No.”

Kouyou shrugs, “Then I see no reason for why it was wrong, or why you’re freaking out about it. Does he act differently around you since you kissed his cheek?”

For someone who believes they are dating, she really is trying to comfort Chuuya right now. It’s confusing but not unwelcome. His nose scrunches in thought, “I… don’t think so. He actually seems a bit more clingy than usual.”

He didn’t put that together before. Huh. He wonders if they correlate. 

Why does that make him smile?

She smiles back, “Then he probably liked it. You two are good for each other, no matter how… er,” her eyes flicker away for a moment before she looks back, “how eccentric his personality is.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, his smile growing a little wider and even more genuine, “He is a bit odd, isn’t he?”

She chuckles, shaking her head and reaching for his clay, “Come on, let me help you.”

Could this be something?

Could they really be falling in love?

Maybe, he just needs to put it to the test.

——- 

Dazai takes a deep breath as he stands in front of Chuuya’s closed door. 

Why does it feel like he’s always standing here?!

He has no excuse for what he’s about to do, so he will use what they always do for one.

Sex. 

Yes, because seeing Chuuya this late without that excuse would make the boy question things.

He and Chuuya don’t do things out of the ordinary and their ‘ ordinary’ had become having sex with each other. 

So, he knocks. 

Moments later the door swings open and Dazai’s heart squeezes and stomach twists in knots.

These feelings… make them stop.

Chuuya looks up at him, hair dripping and leaving his thin white t-shirt wet. Those eyes crease as he smiles. 

“Hey,” Chuuya whispers, “I wanted to— mmph!”

Dazai inhales sharply as he smashes their lips together. Chuuya’s crystal eyes widen, arms hung at his side as Dazai digs his fingertips into the boy’s cheeks. 

He stumbles into the room causing Chuuya to trip over himself walking backward. He finally reciprocated the kiss for whatever it’s worth— hesitant though. 

“Daz—“ He mutters against the boy’s lips. He can feel Chuuya’s confused smile against him. 

Dazai squeezes his eyes shut, his organs falling to the floor when Chuuya presses his lips harder against him. He’s trying his hardest to keep the static from overtaking his brain again.

These feelings. Make it stop, make it stop. Dazai chants in his head as he presses Chuuya’s back into the mattress. 

He uses his tongue to pry those plush lips apart, sliding it between them as one hand drags down Chuuya’s waist.

The redhead squirms beneath him, breathing shallow and fast as his tongue presses back into Dazai’s.

None of this is helping his symptoms go away. 

He dips his fingers into Chuuya’s waistband, but then, the boy stiffens and he stops kissing Dazai.

Chuuya’s fingers dig into the brunette's shoulder and then he’s pushing him away.

“Did I hurt you?” Dazai asks quickly, blinking as he looks at the body beneath him. Worry begins wrapping its cold grip around his chest. 

Chuuya blinks rapidly, inhaling sharply to catch his breath and keep calm. “No,” He scrambled as his eyes flicker across the brunette's face, “You didn’t hurt me, I just…”

He needs to know.

“I just figured we could do something else tonight.” He smiles sheepishly, face burning as he waits to get a reaction from the brunette. 

Dazai stalls, not moving as he processes the words. 

…something else…?

He rolls off Chuuya and lets his back hit the mattress as he lays next to him, catching his own breath. 

Something else. 

He has to use every fiber of his body not to grin. Chuuya wants to hang out with him… without sex?!

But, this isn’t supposed to be love. It’s not and he has to prove that. 

He turns to look at the boy, who’s already looking back at him. 

Chuuya bites his lip as he looks into those big brown eyes. What could he be thinking? 

It’s stupid. Chuuya’s never suggested skipping out on their usual nightly ‘romp’ to just hang out.

Dazai must think he’s losing his mind… or, maybe that there’s something more to this? To them.

“What does the shorty wanna do then?”

Chuuya scowls, but refrains from punching the other.

He needs to prove that this could be love. So, he smiles and runs the back of his index finger along Dazai’s cheek, “Just talk, I don’t know. We could rent a movie… or go swimming. We could go for a walk.”

Dazai blinks, throat tightening as he keeps his emotions in check. 

What is happening?! Chuuya’s finger burns his skin.

“We—“ He clears his throat, ”Uh, yeah. A walk is fine.”

Chuuya chews his bottom lip nervously, “Okay… let me put my sandals on.”

Dazai looks beautiful; the moonlight dances in his chocolate hair as he walks along the shoreside. 

The way his eyes sparkle with the constellations in them as he lets the water tickle his ankles. 

Chuuya can’t stop staring. 

But the thing is, Dazai won’t even look back at him. 

“And what did you say that was again?” Dazai asks, eyes glancing at the object in Chuuya’s hands.

Blue eyes gaze down. It’s shit, but he smiles despite himself. Kouyou helped him finish it, “A vase. I made it today in pottery class.”

Dazai’s brows raise, a small bubble of laughter coming out of his throat as he finally looks into Chuuya's eyes, “Chuuya is terrible at pottery.”

“Oi!” He bristles in defense, hugging the vase to his chest, “I worked so hard on this!”

“It’s not even smooth! What are all those lumps?”

Chuuya scoffs, stopping to bend down and pick up another shell. This one’s a light shade of purple and brown. He sets it inside the sculpture, “You try making a goddamn vase, asshole. It’s way harder than it looks.”

“Oh I’m surrrreee,” The brunette drags out as he too bends down to pick up a shell and holds it out to Chuuya. 

It’s a little broken on the edges, but a pretty orange color. 

It matches his hair, he notices as the other puts it in his palm. 

His chest feels warm, and his skin buzzes where Dazai’s fingertip grazes it.

Could it really be…?

Dazai turns away silently and continues to walk. Chuuya follows. 

They stay silent for a while. It’s comfortable but with each step, Chuuya’s getting more and more antsy. 

His vase is half full of shells and their hands are covered in sand from all the digging they were doing. 

Dazai’s hand. He keeps glancing at it.

Would it be so bad to hold?

People in love hold hands. So, would it be odd if they did? Or… maybe it would feel right. 

He swallows the lump in his throat as he slowly reaches forward. 

His pinky finger grasps around Dazai’s index and the warmth has his heart beating hard in his chest. 

But then, Dazai retracts his hand from the other’s hold as he gives Chuuya a quizzical smirk, “What are you doing?”

Chuuya tightens his hand into a fist as he lets it hang to his side, “Was getting some of the sand off your hand, you're dirty.”

Dazai’s no fool. He knows what Chuuya was doing. Why would Chuuya want to hold his hand? 

He scoffs out a laugh, “I almost thought Chuuya wanted to hold my hand.”

“Wha—“ Chuuya stutters, “Was not– do not!”

Dazai bites back to hold out on smiling as he narrows his eyes at Chuuya for good measure.

See? He’s proving he isn’t in love.

“Good, because no one’s here to watch, so there’s no need to hold my hand. We aren’t really dating.”

Chuuya’s step stutters as his brows furrow. Something is up Dazai’s ass tonight and he’s not here for it.

Is it because Chuuya wanted to do something other than fuck?

Dazai holds his hand while they have sex sometimes. What would be the difference now?

He decides to just nod, looking towards the water to distract him. 

No holding hands, got it.

Before they know it, another hour goes by. They chase crabs, splash each other until they're soaked, and then lay in the cold sand to watch the stars. He buried the base of his pottery into the sand to hold it upright near his head.

“They’re so clear,” Chuuya whispers into the silence. The only other noise that can be heard is the waves lapping against the shore. All the humans and animals are sleeping this late into the night. 

“We’d never get a view like this back in Japan.”

They stay silent for a moment, Chuuya’s hair tickles his cheeks from the breeze. The warm night feels like a blanket lulling him to sleep.

His lids feel heavy. It’s comfortable, being here in silence but not alone. Dazai’s here.

Just as he’s about to give into the temptation of slumber— Dazai gasps loud and specks of sand land on Chuuya’s cheek.

His face twitches, lashes fluttering open as his gaze slides over to Dazai’s outstretched hand that points to the sky, “Did you see that, Chuuya?! You have to make a wish!”

“Hah?!” His eyes roam the sky as if whatever Dazai saw would still be there. It’s not, only the twinkling of the same stars that greeted him moments before, “I didn’t see anything!”

Dazai giggles and Chuuya turns his head as if the sound pulled him from the sky.

Dazai’s already looking at him, smiling gently.

“It was a shooting star,” He whispers into the small space between them as his eyes gaze down to Chuuya’s lips.

The redhead subconsciously wets them as he digs his fingers into the cold sand. 

Could they have this?

He leans in just barely, but enough to get the point across. He glances down to Dazai’s lips, “And what did you wish for?” He murmurs.

It’s quiet, long enough for him to glance back up to those deep brown eyes. Dazai looks up at the same time as him, a cheesy grin on his face as he sits up and brushes the sand from his hair.

Chuuya lets out a sigh, sitting up as well.

“Well of course I wished Chuuya would grow taller!”

“Oi!” He pounces, shoving Dazai’s head into the sand as his other hand grabs a fist full of it, “Take that back asshole or you’re eating this shit!”

Dazai cried out, squirming beneath the thighs that keep him down, “Spare me! Please, someone save me! I’m getting murdered by a toddler!”

Chuuya throws the sand to the side, letting out a quiet laugh as he drops his head to Dazai’s chest. He’s supposed to be mad, but Dazai is such an idiot. 

“Quiet down,” He murmurs as he closes his eyes from where he rests on top of the brunette, “Someone might hear you and think you're serious.”

Dazai fists the back of Chuuya’s shirt with his fingers, and the redhead curses himself for not being able to hold back the shiver down his spine, “It’s getting late Chuuya, we should head back.” He whispers into the boy’s hairline. 

Chuuya keeps his eyes shut, forcing the disappointment down as he sighs, “Just a few more minutes.”

Dazai doesn’t say anything back, but he doesn’t try to escape from where he lies beneath the redhead.

“Looks like you’ll need another shower,” Dazai says with a smirk as he leans against Chuuya’s door frame. 

He’s half out of the bedroom as if he were afraid to come any closer. Afraid he would be trapped here with no escape and stuck with the redhead all night long against his will.

Chuuya gives him a teasing scoff as he sets the vase on the nightstand, “As if you don’t need one too.”

“Ah, but I never said I didn’t, short stuff.”

Chuuya tsks, but walks up to Dazai with a smirk on his face.

It’s a bluff, a front but he hides it well. 

“We could save water, shower together?”

A bold request, but he’s trying so damn hard to prove that maybe this is love.

It’s so damn hard when Dazai keeps him at a good distance all night.

Dazai’s smile falters as his fingers clasp around his own bandaged wrist, “Silly Chuuya,” He whispers, “We don’t pay the water bill.”

Right.

Chuuya laughs, rocking back on his heels to steady his beating heart, “True, we should each take hour-long showers while we get a chance to run up Fukuzawa’s utility bill.”

Dazai chuckles, “I’ll do just that.”

 All Chuuya can do is nod.

Shit tonight did not go as planned. 

Maybe he should have just had sex with Dazai, slept in their own beds and called it a night.

But… one more try.

Chuuya smiles though it’s nowhere near as confident as the last. He lets his fingers run up Dazai’s shirt until they dip into his collar and pull him down just enough to place a soft kiss on the brunette’s cheek.

Dazai lets himself be dragged as though he were begging for the contact, though when Chuuya pulls away, opening his eyes to gauge the other’s reaction….

Well, Dazai blinks and his face is unbearably unreadable.

Chuuya’s stomach dips uncomfortably as his hand drops the shirt collar. ”Sorry, goodnight,” he murmurs as he takes two big steps away from Dazai.

He bites hard into his cheek as Dazai straightens his back and whispers a ‘goodnight’ in return before shutting the door behind him.

Fuck, Chuuya curses inward. 

Maybe he read into this whole thing wrong. Maybe Kouyou’s wrong.

And, maybe… maybe this isn’t love and he was just fooling himself into believing it could be any more than what it is.

And that’s: fake. A fake no-feelings-attached agreement to keep the rest of the family happy.

—--

Dazai bites his lip hard as he shuts the door to his bedroom. He leans against it, holding his fingers to his warm cheek.

Chuuya kissed him, again. 

It was so soft… so warm, and—

And, Dazai was foolish to prove this isn’t love.

Maybe Yosano and Ranpo are right. It’s not pancreatic cancer… it’s….

Dazai smiles, maybe he could have this…

Maybe he can explore these feelings.

Chapter Text

“What? No. I said English and Japanese styled not– what?” Yosano straightens as she taps her index on the rim of her coffee mug; her phone pressed against her left ear. “No, I don’t know how to speak any Greek!”

Chuuya signs, chin resting on the dining room table as he reaches for a donut. Chocolate. Gross, his least favorite.

But no, he’s not allowed to complain because Yosano and Kouyou are getting married in less than two weeks. They are the only ones allowed to complain because if Chuuya accidentally says his coffee tastes a little grimy this morning then he will get a thirty-minute lecture on how his problems are ‘first world problems’ and maybe he should just ‘dump it down the drain and get the fuck out of the kitchen’ so he will sit here and eat a chocolate donut for the sake of both his sanity and the girls’.

He should be grateful he even gets coffee and donuts, right?

“I want Kobukuro, yeah and Kana Nishino…” Yosano furrows her brows as if in deep concentration, while her tongue peaks barely over her upper lip. Kouyou the ever-perfect fiancee scratches her head, standing behind her to ease Yosano away from another breaking point this morning.

The first involved Chuuya. The DJ company they hired shouldn’t have to witness that either. 

“Eh? How the– okay. It’s K - O - B - K - U - R -” Her brow twitches, “yeah I said R… and then O. Got that?” 

Chuuya’s lips quirk around his bite of donut, but his face quickly drops when she glances up at him with narrow eyes.

“Love songs, duh. We can do some Elvis Presley and… John Legend? Oh yeah, Frank Sinatra.”

And this call goes on for another forty-five minutes all the same.

Throughout the call, Chuuya’s mind wanders. He thinks about the shitty sleep he had last night. He kept tossing and turning, the temperature was never right. When he was under his blanket it was too hot, and then when he took it off he was freezing. He even tried leaving one leg under the blankets and one leg over them. That didn’t work either because then he started overthinking they may have brought crabs in that vase of his from when he and Dazai were collecting shells. He wouldn’t doubt Dazai would do that shit on purpose and he was not going to let his toes be a victim of that shitty bastard's antics. 

And then of course his mind got stuck on him. Dazai. 

He thought about how he read the room totally wrong. Dazai doesn’t love him. 

How embarrassing.

Why did he even try again? Friends with benefits and fake dating both have nothing to do with love. 

No matter the outcome– it still sucks. It makes him want to lay in his bed and do nothing all day –which is fine because he has no plans anyway. It also makes him want to never see Dazai again but also go and find him- punch him or maybe even fuck him and pretend nothing happened last night.

He should have just fucked him. He could have even offered the asshole to spend the night.

But no. God he’s so stupid. 

A finger taps him on the shoulder. He jolts so hard that Yosano’s coffee across the table spills into her lap.

She jumps up, cursing to Kouyou while holding the phone away from her ear, and Chuuya’s just about ready to welcome her with open arms and let her castrate him if it makes her feel better. 

It would sure give him something else to think about rather than that shitty Dazai. 

“Chuuya, fuck I’m sorry for startling you.” 

Oh yeah.

He looks back at the culprit which now he knows who it belongs to. “Shirase,” He breathes, “You know not to sneak up on me like that. Remember when I punched you in the face that one time?” 

Shirase winces as if he still could feel the ghost of pain against his cheek. “I just didn’t want Yosano to yell at me for talking.”

“Why does everyone think I’m gonna–” Yosano groans, resting her head against Kouyou’s chest, “Can you two just get out of the kitchen before I actually lose my shit?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Chuuya whispers, getting up swiftly and pulling Shirase out along with him by the wrist.

Once they make it far enough that Chuuya feels safe, he crosses his arms over his chest, “So, what did you want?”

Shirase lights up, “Oh yeah, are you busy today?”

Busy bedrotting? Yes, that was an option. 

He sighs, “No, Why? What did you have in mind?”

He watches as Shirase pulls two pieces of paper out and holds them in front of Chuuya. He takes it from the boy's hands and narrows his eyes as he tries to read the tiny print.

Constantine Cavafy.

One of Chuuya’s favorite poets. It’s two tickets to the attraction that holds the archive of all of his Greek poetry. 

Chuuya’s eyes widen before they snap up to Shirase, “What’s this?”

No way. He completely forgot this place existed. He had always told Shirase that one day they would need to go. Make a trip out of it and go to Greece. And now… here they are. 

The archive is a collection of over two thousand of his manuscripts of poems, literary works, articles and notes, and even a bunch of his old personal shit! No way. Chuuya’s about to geek out. 

Shirase shrugs, looking a little flustered, “I just remembered how much you talked about him. I was out sightseeing with Sasaki and Kunikida yesterday and there was this vendor,” His wrist flicks out to point at the tickets, “I bought two of em, but–! You don’t have to take me. You can take whoever you want.”

Chuuya blinks, gripping the tickets a little tighter. 

The first person that pops up in his mind is Dazai. He would absolutely love to take Dazai here. He’s sure he would find it just as interesting as Chuuya himself. 

But… Dazai doesn’t…

Chuuya bites his cheek, looking up at Shirase, “Come with me?”

“Really?” 

Chuuya suppresses a smile, “Don’t act so shocked. We promised to go with each other like- five years ago. Did we not?”

“We did,” Shirase nods with a sheepish grin, he scratches the nape of his neck, “It’ll be just like old times.”

Chuuya tilts his head, “Yeah, like old times.”

—

Dazai stretches his limbs, feeling a pleasant buzz as the light filters in through his windows. He yawns loudly as his shoulders pop.

What an amazing night's rest he got. 

Maybe some of the best in a while. 

He lazily feels around his bed for his phone, fingertips grazing the edge of it under his pillow before he pulls it out and checks the time.

His eyes widen as he sits up straight, “Whoops.”

It’s already fifteen past twelve. 

Half of his day is gone, but no matter. He will make up for lost time.

He plans on finally indulging in the little redhead today. He finally realizes what he wants. He wants to try this– he wants to see if this could be anything more than ‘friends with benefits’ or ‘fake dating’.

He’s tired of holding back, and now he finally doesn’t have to. Plus, Chuuya seems to want the same thing. So this could work. It really could. 

Maybe he could take him for dinner tonight? 

Yes. Yosano and Kouyou went to this one restaurant the other night. It’s called ‘Dinner in the Sky’ in Athens. He’s sure Chuuya would love it, especially at sunset. That would be perfect, romantic even.

Dazai smirks to himself, he will show Chuuya just how romantic he can really be.

After a shower and a shave, the monotonous routine of wrapping himself in bandages, tousling his hair, and looking for a decent enough outfit for the day– he heads to the kitchen for a coffee.

And no it doesn’t matter it’s already almost one. He still needs a coffee.

When he does make it to the kitchen, only Ranpo is in there– and of course, he’s halfway through a chocolate donut. 

Dazai’s favorite. 

“Look who finally decided to wake up.” Ranpo mutters around a mouthful, “I thought you finally fell through with that suicide of yours.”

Dazai tsks, pulling a mug from the cabinet before starting the coffee machine and snatching a chocolate donut from Ranpo’s plate.

Those emerald eyes glare at him but don’t say anything. 

“I think I’ll skip the suicide today. I have much better plans.” He says, watching the steaming coffee pour into his cup. He’s unable to hide the small upturn of his lips.

“Oh god.” Ranpo gasps, “Who are you and what did you do with my Dazai?!”

Dazai giggles, turning slightly to get a better look at Ranpo, “Your Dazai?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, If you must know,” Dazai hums between a bite of his donut. Breakfast for lunch? Or.. more like dessert for lunch. “I plan on going to this restaurant tonight. You know, I looked at their menu and they have all those fancy wines Chuuya likes so much. I personally couldn’t care less for them, but that little gremlin–”

“Oh,” Ranpo cuts him off.

He hums, lifting his burning mug to his lips to sip off the rim, “Where even is that hatrack? Is he still asleep?”

“Ohh, no he left hours ago.”

Dazai nods, finishing his donut in silence. But then, he narrows his eyes. That tone Ranpo gave him. It’s a little– off.

He turns slowly to look at Ranpo again. The boys smiling at him innocently.

Even more suspicious, “What are you not telling me?”

A hand quickly dives to the mountain of donuts before Ranpo shoves three in his mouth. He mumbles a ‘What do you mean?’ but it’s almost indecipherable. 

Doesn’t matter though, Dazai can see it in his eyes.

He’s hiding something. 

“Spill.”

Ranpo rolls his eyes, swallowing before taking a deep breath like he almost suffocated in the chocolate, “Remember the breakfast we had yesterday? Where you told us you are like in love with Chuuya?”

Dazai scrunches his nose feeling stripped bare, “I’m not sure I said those words in any way, shape, or form.”

“No, I believe I recall you saying it in every way, shape, and form.”

He licks his lips, “Your point?”

“Well, you remember how you went on and on about all those ‘symptoms’ you had and I concluded you had bipolar disorder? Like you know– when you blatantly addressed your strong urges to crush Shirase’s head in when he gets too close to Chuuya because your a jealous little shit–”

“Ohhkay,” Dazai blurts, “That was not exactly how it went.” Ranpo quirks a brow and Dazai chooses to ignore that, “You certainly do not know all of the factors that contribute to my murderous tendencies– but! They do not all revolve around Chuuya or Shirase,” He scrunches his nose at the mention of the redhead’s ex, “And I would like to say, I am not the jealous type. Thank you.” He concludes with a firm nod. 

Ranpo looks as unimpressed as usual. 

Dazai’s lips press into a thin line, “Okay, fine. Get on with it then.”

“Thereouttogether.”

“Eh?” 

Dazai narrows his eyes, leaning forward while Ranpo rolls his eyes. 

“Open your goddamn ears, Dazai.”

“Then articulate your words better!”

Ranpo puffs out his cheeks, squeezing the donut that lay forgotten in his hand, “They are out together. Poetry reading at some museum-archive-thing.”

Dazai blinks. 

Out... Together? Poetry. 

Chuuya loves poetry. 

“Dazai? Do I need to hold you down?” Ranpo asks hesitantly, “Are you about to commit a crime? Or… do you need help?”

“Ah,” Dazai smiles and sets his mug down, “I’m going for a swim.”

He turns on his heels. Ranpo watches him quietly, but right before he turns the corner he yells: “Please don’t kill yourself!”

This is fine. It’s fine. 

—

“And did you see they had his fucking underwear,” Chuuya giggles as he swings the front door open, smiling wide as he holds it for Shirase, “That’s insane.”

Shirase shakes his head, “What’s more insane is the fact you took a picture of it.”

“Oi! It was Constantine Cavafy’s underwear. When are you going to come across something like that again??”

Shirase puts his hands up in surrender as he toes his shoes off, “Alright alright, you got me. You’re right. But hey– that was a lot cooler than I thought it was going to be.”

Chuuya hums, nodding as he sets his bag of souvenirs and leftovers from the restaurant they stopped at afterward down on the dining room table, “It was just as amazing as I thought I’d be.”

Shirase sighs and it has Chuuya glancing over at him. He’s smiling how he used to when they were together. 

It’s been a long time since he’s seen that look in Shirase’s eyes. 

It’s not… bad per se. 

“I have fun with you today, Chuuya.” He tilts his head, “Thanks for taking me with you.”

He smiles back. Today had been a good day. He didn’t think he could have one of those again with Shirase… but it really did feel like the old days, when they were each other’s world.

It was fun, but it’s not the world he wants anymore. 

“I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.”

But of course, all good things come to an end.

Chuuya just wasn’t expecting them to end so soon.

There’s a knock on his door. Three light taps, though persistent. He shuffled over to the door in his sleepwear, using a towel to wring the water from his soaked auburn curls. 

He opens the door and looks up.

“Dazai,” He breathes out. His chest squeezes when he’s met with those honey-colored eyes. Dazai’s got a smile on his face, and Chuuya can now say he knows him enough to be able to tell something is off.

“Could I come in?”

Chuuya tsks, remembering the other night when it seemed like Dazai was practically begging to get away from him. Whatever.

“Yeah, sure.” He steps to the side and in an instant Dazai saunters in and takes a seat on the edge of Chuuya’s made bed. He looks rather uncomfortable..

“Did you want to do something?” Chuuya questions. He wouldn’t mind, though he has a feeling that’s not why Dazai is in his room tonight.

The brunette smirks barely, closing his eyes with a breathy chuckle, “No, don’t worry about that.”

Chuuya scowls. It feels like Dazai’s mocking him when he laughs like that, but he takes a deep breath and walks away to hang his towel up. He proceeds to spray leave-in conditioner in his hair before adding his serum and brushing it.

He waits silently for Dazai to say something first.

It doesn’t take very long. 

“Did you have a nice time with Shirase?”

Is this what he’s being all weird about? Chuuya chews on his lip as he sets the brush down and walks out of the bathroom. He hums in thought as he slips under his sheet and leans his back against his headboard. 

Dazai’s still sitting on the bottom edge.

“I did.” He nods slowly, “We read poetry and had dinner.”

Dazai hums, “Just would like to know– did I get ‘cheated’ on today?” The air quotes Chuuya’s given around the word ‘cheated’ proves to show it wouldn’t be real if he did so happen to kiss or do anything with Shirase. But the venomous undertones say otherwise.

And, no, Chuuya wouldn’t do that to Dazai. Not only for Dazai’s sake but for the sake of their little contract they got going on to give the girls an easy-going wedding. He’s loyal dammit, even for show. This was nothing but friends going out with each other, and besides– they have only two more weeks until the wedding. He’s not jeopardizing their plan now.

“I didn’t ‘cheat’ on you,” Chuuya says, using a mocking tone around the word and exaggerating the same air quotes Dazai gave him, “Have a little faith in me dammit. I know what fake dating entails.” 

Dazai scoffs, “Do you want to know what fake dating does not entail, Chuuya?” He quirks a brow, “Or do you already know that too, since you’re so smart.”

“Oi! What the fuck are you on about?” Chuuya bristles, his fingers digging into his thighs, “Why the hell are you being such an ass these past few days?”

Dazai frowns, “I don’t know what you're talking about.”

Chuuya chuckles bitterly, “Oh yeah, so now you wanna play dumb?” 

“Please, enlighten me, Chuuya.”

“Oh yeah, I’ll enlighten you, shitty Dazai.” He scoffs, grabbing the pillow that lays next to him so he doesn’t strangle Dazai, “You act like you’re above me all the damn time. You play your stupid hard-to-get bullshit that I don’t want any part of! Then you go off on me every time I do anything remotely in the same vicinity as Shirase– what about Sasaki, eh? If you can’t take your own medicine then don’t dish it out in the first place–”

“Excuse me?” Dazai cuts him off, he’s smiling as if all of this was amusing to him while Chuuya’s fuming, “What are you getting at? I have no reason to play hard to get when I’m not trying to get you in the first place.”

“Bullshit–!”

“I didn’t–” Dazai continues as if Chuuya never opened his mouth. Chuuya hates that shit– being talked over, “once give you the hint that I was trying to take this,” He flicks his wrist in the air between them for emphasis, “anywhere more than what it is .”

Chuuya scoffs, “And what’s that, hm? You get pissed about Shirase, you kiss me like you damn mean it– and the fact you fuck me! That’s so much more than what we agreed on in the first place. So I don’t get how–”

“I don’t kiss you like I mean it. You’d know–”

“Stop fucking talking over me dammit!” Chuuya snaps, chucking the pillow hard at Dazai’s face. The brunette almost falls back off the bed, the tiny gasp that escapes him gets muffled by the pillow. “You do kiss me like you mean it,” He says, far quieter.

Dazai hugs the pillow, quirking a brow like Chuuya’s stupid. He doesn’t say a damn thing.

That asshole. Chuuya bites the inside of his cheek hard, fingers trembling in anger as he tightens them into fists. Nobody kisses like that and doesn’t mean it even a little. 

“Say something.”

Dazai hesitates, or at least it looks like it. Chuuya can’t really read him right now, but there’s a subtle shift in his gaze and his lips twitch downward for just a moment. 

Minimal, but still there. 

“I’m done with this.” Dazai mutters quietly. 

Chuuya blinks twice. What does he mean?

“I agree.” Chuuya says, nodding slowly. Dazai’s brows knit inward. Now he feels the need to explain himself further, “I think we’re arguing over nonsense, let’s just,” he puffs his cheeks out, “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was going out with Shirase.”

Dazai gives him a bemused glance, “What?”

“Isn’t that what you're mad about?”

Chuuya watches Dazai chew on his lower lip, “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.”

“It’s pretty clear.” Chuuya shrugs, stretching his legs. They are too short to reach where Dazai sits, “I agree. If we are acting like a couple, you shouldn’t have to be clueless about my whereabouts or whatever.”

Dazai purses his lips, “No, that’s not what I’m concerned about.”

“Then fucking say it dammit!” Chuuya snaps. Dazai always likes to beat around the damn bush. It’s so goddamn annoying. 

Dazai scoffs, “When I say ‘I’m done with this’ I’m sure you should have a clear understanding of what I’m talking about.”

“Hah?” Chuuya’s eye twitches. Does he mean— “There’s less than two weeks till the wedding. Can you seriously not stand me that much?!”

It doesn’t hurt, no. 

Dazai shrugs. 

He fucking shrugs. 

Chuuya jumps up from where he’s seated, stomping up to Dazai and shoving his shoulder with his index finger, “We aren’t ending this yet.”

“And, why not?”

Chuuya scoffs. Why not? “Because then what was the point in even doing this in the first place!” Chuuya snaps and it sounds horribly strained from how bad he’s trying to keep from getting too mad. Dazai’s not obligated to be with him in any type of way, but nothing was wrong just the other day. “We are doing this for the girls. Not each other.” He digs his finger further into Dazai’s shoulder.

The brunette grabs him by the wrist before shoving him away and standing up. Chuuya stumbles back three steps, knowing well enough his face must show exactly how he feels. Confused, angry, perplexed. 

Dazai gazes down at him, tilting his head in a condescending way. Chuuya hates it. “You’re right. This is for the girls so let me lay some ground rules.”

Chuuya inhales, opening his mouth, “W–”

“First,” Dazai shoves one finger in Chuuya’s face, “No more kissing,” Chuuya blinks as Dazai puts up a second finger, “No more fucking,” A third, “No more even seeing each other in private.” He drops his hand, eyes flickering over Chuuya’s expression. “Like you said. This is for the girls. I don’t want any other part of this with you.”

Chuuya sucks on his bottom lip, brow quirking, “That so?”

He’s not mad about it. He’s not upset, he’s not —

Dazai shrugs, “Yeah, you have any rules you’d like to add?”

Fuck this.

Chuuya smirks. “Yeah, I got one,” Dazai nods in encouragement, “How about you get the fuck out of my room,” he spits.

Dazai grins, “With pleasure.”

Dazai wants nothing to do with him? Then fine, he will do just that, and still proceed to be the best fake boyfriend ever.

Chapter Text

“I told you to make a left five minutes ago,” Yosano deadpans as Ranpo snatches the phone out of her hands that holds the GPS. She’s sitting in the front between Ranpo and Kouyou; Chuuya and Dazai both sit in the back of Ranpo’s convertible. 

Mind you, they are on the farthest sides possible from each other, both looking out at the scenery in silence. 

“Why are you just telling me this now?!” Ranpo huffs as he yanks the car a lane over so he can make a U-turn. Chuuya’s knuckles are white as he grips the door so he won’t accidentally lean into Dazai’s space.

Absolutely not, thank you very much. 

 “Well, maybe you shouldn’t ramble on and on with this boy of yours on the phone while you’re driving. I could have taken over if I’d have known–”

“I’m so over people driving my car.” Ranpo fake coughs as he mumbles the word ‘Dazai’

Yosano hums in condolence.

“If you want the car to yourself, then maybe you shouldn’t leave your keys out in the open! Someone might mistake that as an invitation to use them!” Dazai chirps, leaning over Kouyou’s chair with his chin digging into the side of it.

Chuuya bristles at the obnoxious sound of Dazai’s voice; he strains his neck as he continues to look outside. This is miserable. Why does he get dragged out of bed for stupid shit like this?

An outlet mall, not even a fancy one; it’s one of those historical, run-down shopping centers that tourists are always so fond of. 

Kouyou– to be exact— is very fond of them. That’s the only reason why they are all going. 

“That’s not how that works,” Ranpo mutters.

“And all because Dazai can’t keep it in his pants– we all have to suffer the consequences of losing convertible privileges.” Yosano sighs dramatically.

Dazai lets out a squeaky gasp in mock offense, leaning all the way back in his seat as his arm comes up to touch his forehead. He almost hits Chuuya in the process, and he’s not above hitting the brunette. Somehow, some force somewhere stops him from doing just that. For now.

“I so can keep it in my pants!” Dazai glances at him from the corner of his eye with a stupid, mind you, ugly– yes, ugly smirk, “Right, Chuuya?”

Chuuya crosses his arms over his chest as he glares at the asshole, “Don’t drag me into this.” He mutters bitterly.

Dazai raises a challenging brow. He seems to think he’s winning some unspoken game, what exactly, Chuuya wouldn’t know. But he isn’t going to lose.

“I’d rather not hear about my brother’s sex life, thanks.”

Yosano turns to Kouyou with a brilliant gleam in her eyes, “Who would have thought, all these boys needed was a little love in their lives to domesticate them!?”

“We aren’t dogs!” Chuuya snaps.

“Well, at least I’m not.” 

Seriously, he’s going to punch Dazai so hard.

“Shut the hell up before I beat you to a pulp,” Chuuya growls, jabbing his index angrily into Dazai’s bicep. 

“Oo~ You’re so scary!” 

The sarcasm is dully noted and not appreciated in the least. Though as Chuuya opens his mouth to respond he notices Ranpo eyeing him through the rearview mirror.

Right. Boyfriends. Fake dating.

Screw all of this.

Chuuya scoffs lightly before smirking back at Dazai. He’s not going to lose, “Right, but don’t worry sis you won’t have to hear about my sex life anytime soon. I don’t even want to get near his dick!” Dazai scrunches his nose, good be mad. “It’s not even that good! For all I care, he can go stick it in Sas–” He bites his lip hard. Not going to say that.

Dazai’s eyes widen ever so slightly, but he schools his face far too quickly for anyone to notice besides Chuuya himself. 

Maybe he’s not winning.

A low whistle can be heard from the front; Ranpo of course, “Damn bro, what did you do to piss Chuuya off?”

“Must have been bad if he’s not letting you get it wet.” Yosano agrees.

As if Dazai wasn’t the one who ended their little arrangement first, Chuuya thinks as he glances over at the brunette.

Dazai’s face is a shade darker as he squeezes his thighs with his hands. The heat radiating off Chuuya’s face makes him believe he’s not looking much better. 

“It was only a little fight,” Dazai tuts, “We are fine though, aren’t we, sweetheart?”

Disgusting. That’s what that nickname is to Chuuya– it doesn’t make his heart rate pick up or his throat tighten. He doesn’t think back to the last time Dazai called him that when they were—

“That didn’t sound too fine,” Yosano murmurs to her lover, although everyone in the car can hear it clear enough.

“Yes. Everything’s fine. I was only kidding.” Chuuya signs.

“Aw. So Chuuya does like my dick?” Dazai coos as he leans into Chuuya’s personal space.

“I swear–”

“We’re here!” Ranpo cuts him off as he throws the car into park. “Finally, shit.”

Yosano tuts as she reaches over her fiancee to open the passenger door, “It’s your fault it took an extra ten minutes.”

Chuuya rubs his hands down his face. This is going to be a long day. 

—

The short walk to the shops is anything but silent. Yosano seems to have a lot on her mind as she rambles on and on to Ranpo. Most of it is about the wedding. Chuuya is next to Kouyou, deep in conversation with her as Dazai walks behind everyone with his arms clasped behind his back.

The strip is small. Most of the buildings look vacant even though the tiny ‘open’ signs hanging on the doors say otherwise along with the few families that walk in and out. 

He watches as a small boy grabs his mother by the wrist and drags her to a stand in the middle of the walking trail. He’s giggling and pointing to all the colorful scarves and masks that the stand offers for sale. 

Dazai’s eyes slowly browse all the options. 

And then behold, a thin light summer scarf. It’s a deep red with black markings sewn through it. They look like old folktale relic marks. It reminds him of that time he quizzed Chuuya’s dad in the pool. 

Arahabaki? Was it; yes, that’s what it reminds Dazai of.

Besides that, the second thought that comes to mind is just how nice the scarf would look with Chuuya’s eyes.

He puckers his lips before tearing his gaze from the scarf to look at Chuuya. It’s a little breezy out today, but not freezing. Chuuya’s wearing a black fleece button-up fall coat that reaches halfway down his thighs. It would go well with the scarf. And his hair is worn down today, draped over his shoulder– silky, his fingers itch to touch it (?) No. Maybe pull on it and mess it up. 

He glances back over at the stand.

They are about to pass it.

Chuuya doesn’t need it anyway.

It’s fine. He doesn’t have to worry about Chuuya anymore. There are only two weeks left before they never have to speak again.

Ugh. But Chuuya loves new clothes.

He sighs, closing his eyes, and before he knows it– oh, whoops, his hand is wrapped around Chuuya’s wrist.

How did that happen?!

He smiles innocently when he watches Chuuya slowly turn around to face him. His smile drops the moment he sees Dazai. 

Rude. 

“Uh… yes?” Chuuya asks, he looks a little uncomfortable.

Dazai’s face grows warm. What was he thinking!? Chuuya’s going to get suspicious! Will he figure out Dazai’s in love with him? No please, he can’t.

“Scarf.” Eh, that could have gone better.

Chuuya narrows his eyes, tilting his head. “Are you cold?”

Kouyou glances at them before smiling softly and walking away to stand next to Yosano and Ranpo. Good, Dazai thinks. One less person to catch on.

“You are.” Dazai points out, “Your hands are freezing.”

Chuuya glances down where Dazai is holding his wrist before he flexes his hand, “I… sort of. What the fuck, Dazai–?” He stumbles as the brunette begins to drag him toward the stand just as the little boy had done to his mother.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Chuuya growls, irritated but still follows.

Dazai searches for the scarf. 

It’s missing.

Fuck. In the corner of his eye, he sees the little boy holding up two scarves as he presents them to his mother. One is a green chevron, the other is the red one.

Dazai turns toward Chuuya with a small smile as he drops his wrist. “Could you hang on a second?”

“Seriously what is up with you?! We are going to lose the others– hey! Don’t walk away from me! Come back I swear!” Chuuya yells as Dazai rushes over to the other side of the stand.

He taps on the boy's shoulder.

The boy turns around and looks up at him.

“That’s my scarf,” He says, pointing to the red one.

The little boy’s face twists in disgust as he looks down at the scarf, “No it’s not. I had it first.”

Dazai sighs. How irritating. “Do you see that man over there?” He points a finger to Chuuya who’s now angrily tapping away on his phone. 

Dazai’s lips quirk slightly. He never walked away. 

“Uh. Yeah, I have eyes!” The little boy scoffs. 

“Well, he’s homeless.” Dazai nods when the little boy glances at him disbelieving. “I know, how tragic, isn’t it? Anywho, he can’t afford clothes— or anything for that matter— and it gets so cold at night alone under his bridge.” Dazai bites back his smirk and conceals it with a sorrowful pout, “He refuses my offer to buy him warm clothes unless it’s that red scarf. You wouldn’t want to see the poor man die of hypothermia, would you?”

The little boy glances at Chuuya before he turns back to Dazai. His mom is minding her own business filing her fingers through the different fabrics. 

“You liar.” 

Dazai gasps, “I wouldn’t lie about something so serious!”

“That man has a phone!”

He scrunches his nose, “I’m letting him borrow mine?”

“Shut it, old man,” Dazai’s soul almost leaves his body. He’s not old! “Get your own damn scarf. This one’s mine! Mommy already said I could have it!”

“Such vulgar words for a five-year-old.”

“I’m ten dammit!”

“You’re even shorter than our dear homeless Chuuya! Who would have guessed!” Dazai sighs. No more Mr. Nice Guy. He reaches his hand out and flicks the kid in the forehead. The boy blinks in shock and Dazai takes the opportunity to snatch the scarf out of his hands. “Thank you~”

“Hey! Give that back!” The boy yells, red in the face. The tears glisten in his eyes but Dazai pays no mind as he quickly pulls some cash from his pocket and tosses it to the stall worker. 

Target acquired. He smirks down at the scarf before grabbing Chuuya’s wrist and tugging him with him toward the rest of their group.

“Dazai, quit dragging me around. What did you just—“ He pauses when Dazai holds a scarf out. His blue eyes widen, mouth parted in shock, “What’s this…?”

“Did Chuuya fall and hit his head? It’s obviously a scarf!”

“Jackass!” Chuuya says as he smacks Dazai’s arm. “ Why do you have this?”

“Does Chuuya not think it’s pretty?”

Chuuya pauses, glancing up at Dazai. He’s skeptical, but decides to give a singular nod of the head, “It’s pretty, yeah.”

Dazai beams, “Well good because I thought it was truly ugly! Only you could pull it off. Maybe it would cancel out your ugliness!”

Chuuya scoffs, but snatches the scarf from his hands anyway and begins wrapping it around his neck, “I know damn well you don’t think I’m ugly.”

Dazai watches silently, and before he knows it he’s reaching up and running his fingers through Chuuya’s hair and gently pulling it out from under the scarf. 

Chuuya’s breath hitches as he silently watches Dazai’s hand move. 

Dazai was right; the scarf clashes beautifully with Chuuya’s sapphire eyes. 

“Ah, all better.”

Chuuya doesn’t move for a moment. He has the smallest hue of pink gracing those pretty freckled cheeks. The scarf is bunched around his neck and hides the bottom of his chin. 

He looks so kissable… No, no he doesn’t. 

After a long moment of silence and prolonged eye contact, Chuuya is the first one to break it as he clears his throat: “Everyone’s leaving.”

Dazai hums, “Right.”

—

“Everybody pause,” Yosano yells as she holds out her arms to block everyone from continuing to walk down the strip.

Kouyou stops right before she touches her arm, Ranpo runs into it as Chuuya slams hard right into her back. 

Dazai, the asshole, snickers.

“What the hell,” Chuuya mutters as he rubs his nose and looks over her shoulder, “Why are we stopping again?”

She silently points to the store next to them.

All four turn their heads in unison. 

“Jewelry?” Ranpo questions. “You don’t even wear–”

Kouyou’s gasp cuts him off and startles Chuuya. “Permanent?! Akik–” She turns to her lover with sparkling eyes, “I thought you forgot!”

Dazai tilts his head down to be at ear level with Chuuya, “That’s the most emotion I’ve ever seen on her— ack!” He doubles over the moment Chuuya’s elbow rams into his stomach.

Yosano beams, “How could I forget? Now chop, chop everyone. Kouyou and I are getting matching permanent anklets. Anyone joining?” She glances over he shoulder to see Dazai bent over Chuuya’s arm, “Ah… do you two want matching bracelets?”

They both glance at each other. 

Matching… permanent… bracelets?

As if.

“I’ll pass.” Chuuya declines politely. 

Dazai tuts, “Dammit, we should have brought Shirase. He would have loved to get matching— Ouch! AUGH Chuuya stop.”

“Shut the fuck up then!”

“Right…” Yosano narrows her eyes before grabbing her fiancee's shoulders to lead them toward the door, “Ya’ll can wait out here. We’ll be back.”

Ranpo puckers his lips, “I’ll come in with you two.”

Chuuya groans, great.

And then, moments later they are all alone.

Dazai signs before leaning back against the brick building and glancing over silently at Chuuya. 

They stare at each other for thirty seconds.

So annoying.

“You sure you don’t wanna go in with them?” Chuuya questions as he crosses his arms over his chest, “Because god forbid you’re anywhere near me alone. Oh no!” He gasps, “Someone come quick or Dazai might have an aneury–”

He’s cut off when Dazai pulls him forward by his shoulder, his forehead slams into Dazai’s chest as the brunette whispers in his ear, “Keep acting out and see what happens.”

Chuuya’s stomach warms as he presses his hand against Dazai’s chest. He glances up at Dazai, hoping the asshole can’t hear how loud his heart is beating. “As if you weren’t the one who–”

Dazai tuts, grabbing Chuuya’s jaw, and squeezes lightly. His fingertips burn, “Are you not the one who has been contradicting everything I say? Have you not been arguing every chance–”

“Get the fuck off me,” Chuuya growls as he shoves Dazai’s back hard against the wall. It’s enough to have him stumbling back three steps himself as he wipes his jaw as if that would erase the ghost of Dazai’s touch, “I’m not doing anything. You’re the one that keeps purposefully riling me up! And I’m not the one who ended—” He narrows his eyes, “Whatever. I’m not the one who made these ‘rules’ in the first place. Get a fucking life and leave me the hell alone.”

Please. Chuuya begs silently. He can’t keep doing this. Dazai’s so confusing.

Dazai raises an eyebrow, “Need I remind you we are still ‘dating'?”

“I know that!”

“Then act like it Chuuya, for christ sake. You’ll do anything to make it look like you hate me. Do you seriously want to blow our cover? All I’ve been is nice to you.”

Chuuya furrows his brows. He’s not sure his ‘nice’ and Dazai’s have quite the same definition. However, Dazai’s right. He has been yelling every chance he gets, but the idiot doesn’t make it any easier. Every store they have gone into today he would answer Chuuya’s questions with a dumb-down sarcastic comment, and just start riling Chuuya up for no good reason in general! It’s seriously pissing him off.

How the hell did he even believe he loved this guy?

Chuuya purses his lips as his hand reaches up to touch the scarf. It’s a soft material, and perfect for today's chilling breeze. But no… Dazai couldn’t have been thinking about him… right?

He just bought the scarf to piss Chuuya off, that must be it.

“Okay.” He says and Dazai tilts his head. Chuuya scratches his head and glances to the side, “Ah. I’ll fix my attitude, or whatever.”

Dazai blinks, and when Chuuya doesn’t get a quick enough answer he looks back to see Dazai’s lips parted in shock. 

Was he not expecting that?

“Yeah, okay.” Dazai huffs, “Good then.”

Great. Chuuya already wants to punch him again.

—

“Chuuya, come here. I think you’d like this one.” Kouyou says as she taps the glass container in front of her.

They are at one of those homemade chocolate bar shops where it costs a fortune just to buy one single unwrapped chocolate bar or truffle. 

Not that Dazai minds, he loves chocolate. And, he’s sure Ranpo doesn’t mind either by the looks of it. He’s currently asking the lady for one of each flavor. 

Right now, Dazai was trying to help Chuuya pick out a flavor. Well, more like he was making fun of Chuuya for hating every chocolate there is in here. 

Who doesn’t like chocolate?! 

Dazai signs in relief when Chuuya glances at him one more time before walking away. His chest was getting tight and his skin was starting to itch. Sometimes… more like today, he wonders why he ever made those stupid rules.

He just wanted to piss Chuuya off because he himself was pissed. Dazai sighs again and closes his eyes. Whatever, two more weeks, and this whole charade will be over with. 

Then he can go back to his shitty father’s constant lectures, Odasaku… his fern… his…

Damn. His life seems a little duller without a certain redhead in it.

“Look, don’t you like this coconut brittle?” Ranpo asks as he tugs on the side of Dazai’s shirt. 

Dazai glances down at his friend. One of the brunette’s hands is occupied with a giant bag of chocolates. The other hand that pulls on Dazai’s shirt is stained with chocolate. He scrunches his nose as he takes one step away from Ranpo.

“Did you already pay for those?”

“Duh.”

Dazai rolls his eyes before glancing back to the coconut brittle. 

That is his favorite candy. 

“Okay, yeah. I’ll get three pieces of that please,” he says to the lady. 

“What did you get?” Dazai hums as he tugs on a strand of red hair while they make their way to the restaurant Yosano picked out for them all. Some seafood place, thank god . 

Chuuya swats at his hand, baring his teeth like he’s about to snap back before he inhales sharply and holds his bag up, “Some chocolate marshmallow thing Kouyou thought I’d like. Maybe because it barely has any chocolate to begin with.”

“Chuuya’s so weird.”

“Says you!”

Dazai snickers before he holds his bag up and shakes it, “I got—“

“Don’t care.”

“Chuuya!”

The redhead shakes his head, smirking, “You probably got some of those nasty peanut clusters like the old man you are.”

“Rude!” Dazai fumbles into his bag, “I’ll have you know I have finer taste than that. Try a bite.” He shoves the chocolate into Chuuya’s face, waving it around. “It’s coconut flavored.”

Chuuya stumbles back, “Leave me alone, I don’t want your chocolate! It’s melting on your fingers right now! Gross!”

Dazai pouts, “But Chuuyaaaa, you never had a problem with my fingers when they were deep inside—“

“Shut the hell up!” Chuuya screeched, face bright red as he glances over to the others walking close by, “If I eat your chocolate, will you shut up for the rest of the goddamn day?!”

“Nope!”

“Then screw you!” Chuuya shoves him and storms away. 

Dazai pouts, looking down at his candy. It’s getting sticky against his fingertips. 

—-

It doesn’t take them long to get seated and order their meals. Yosano had reservations set, thankfully because Chuuya is starving. 

He orders the four salmon taco dish and his idiot ‘boyfriend’ who he’s forced to sit next to orders the crab cake appetizer. 

“Are you trying to starve yourself?” He questions the moment their dishes are presented to them. 

Dazai glances over at him as he picks up his fork, “Is Chuuya eating for the whole neighborhood?”

Chuuya flushes, looking down at his tacos. “I’ll have leftovers!”

All he gets in return is an obnoxious chuckle. That asshole. 

He frowns down at his taco before shivering. It’s a little drafty in here. 

He glances over at Dazai who’s deep in concentration as he cuts his crab cake in half. This dumbass. 

He buries his chin deeper into the scarf as he sighs.

Chuuya decides then that he will ignore Dazai for the whole dinner. He turns to Kouyou and Yosano as he listens in on them mentally going through the wedding checklist. He’s surprised they are almost finished setting everything up.

It’s been the longest goddamn month of his life. 

It’s about fifteen minutes later when he feels something tickle the back of his head. 

He whips his head, fingers scratching at the space that was touched. 

“Oi, shitty Dazai what the fuck—“

That bastard isn’t even looking at him. 

Dazai’s rambling on about who gives a shit to Ranpo. He’s over the top with his hand gestures, and the stupid part is Ranpo seems just as into the topic as Dazai. 

“Oi.” Chuuya tuts as he taps Dazai’s shoulder. 

He doesn’t turn around. 

He inhales before slowly turning back to his plate. He’s not going to get mad, no. Dazai’s not doing this on purpose just to make him cause a scene at the restaurant. 

Everything’s fine.

The next time something hits the back of Chuuya’s head five minutes later, he keeps calm. 

Dazai still doesn’t look at him. 

That’s fine. 

But then it happens three more goddamn times. 

“Dazai!” Chuuya barks as he stands abruptly from his seat and drags the brunette’s head back. Dazai gasps, flailing back before his head thuds into Chuuya’s stomach. 

Quite the miscalculation on Chuuya’s part, especially when Dazai’s elbow hits the table and knocks Chuuya’s iced tea all over the place. Half of it spills down Chuuya’s pants and gets all over Dazai’s elbow. 

“You idiot!” Chuuya screeches from the cold shock.

“This was your fault!”

“I’m not the one who’s purposefully ignoring the other every time he calls for you, jackass!”

Dazai winces as Chuuya pulls on his hair, “I didn’t know you were calling for me!”

Chuuya laughs bitterly, “Oh yeah, and I bet you didn’t even realize you were hitting me in the goddamn head!”

“Chuuya, I—“

“Chuuya. You’re causing a scene,” Kouyou whispers as she tries to sit her brother down. 

He glances around at everyone looking at him as he keeps his death grip on Dazai’s scalp. That bastard definitely wanted this to happen. “It’s his fault!” Chuuya breathes out with barely any heat. Dazai is such an asshole and he’s so tired of it. His throat tightens as he looks down at Dazai, “Do you get off making a fool of me? You come into my room and tell me—“ He inhales. You tell me none of this means anything to you, as if Chuuya wasn’t there putting his all into each kiss just as he thought Dazai was. Foolish.  And then that bastard has the balls to act all clueless and wide-eyed as Chuuya embarrasses himself in front of everyone in this fucking restaurant. 

Chuuya throws Dazai’s head off him before he sits back down, “Never mind.” He whispers. 

Dazai frantically searches for his black fabric napkin before he reaches over and starts patting Chuuya’s leg down, “Chuuya, I swear I didn’t mean to spill your drink.”

Chuuya glares at him as he shakily reaches for his fork. He’s so over this. “Yeah right. As if you haven’t been purposefully embarrassing me for days. What is your goal here, eh? You like to see me put my goddamn heart—“

“Sir,” The waiter says, placing a new tea down in front of him, “We’ll get this cleaned up for you.” 

He looks over at Kouyou and Yosano who are both giving him a sad smile. Damn, he really ruins everything, and it’s all because he fell for the idiot he was only supposed to fake date. 

How cliché. 

Dazai finished patting down his leg silently. It’s not going to fix much. The damage is already done; he’s already sticky. But, it’s the least the asshole could do for him after everything. 

He goes back to chewing on his cold taco. The one closest to Dazai is ruined from the tea spilling on it. However, Dazai’s crab cakes aren’t doing much better. His plate got soaked and he refused a new one when the waiter asked. 

Serves him right, he can starve for all Chuuya cares. 

But then, something touches the back of his head again. 

He might actually cry. 

“Dazai,” He turns, exasperated, “Quit—“

He blinks. Dazai’s not even sitting next to him.

Ranpo tilts his head, “He’s in the bathroom changing his wet bandages.”

Chuuya’s lips part in confusion. Then what…

“Your scarf,” Ranpo whispers with a knowing smile, “There’s a vent that has it blowing up against you. Dazai hadn’t stopped talking to me since we got here.”

Fuck. Dazai didn’t— fuck.

“I didn’t know,” Chuuya whispers. Dammit, he thought Dazai was just being an asshole again like usual. 

“I know,” Ranpo gives him a small smile, “It’s okay. Dazai still deserved that.”

No. Chuuya’s fist curls against his fork. Whatever, he’s not apologizing. 

—-

Dazai fiddles with the bandages on his wrist as he quietly walks next to Chuuya. 

They are all on their way back to the car— after, what Dazai would like to call, is one of the worst shopping trips he’s ever experienced. 

He didn’t mean to spill Chuuya’s tea or ignore him for that matter. 

God, no he doesn’t get off on having Chuuya embarrass himself. Not really. He just likes to rile Chuuya up occasionally but nothing to that extent– not where it almost looked like Chuuya was about to cry. 

Hell. 

“Chuu—“

“No. Just, don’t. Everything’s fine.” Chuuya mutters back. He’s gripping the edge of his scarf hard. Dazai’s sure he’s refraining from punching him.

What to do... what to…

“Will chocolate make Chuuya feel better?”

The redhead glances up at Dazai with a bemused furrow in his brows, “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Eh? Dazai bites his bottom lip, “Yes?”

“I hate chocolate!” Chuuya bristles. 

“But chocolate is good for the soul! It will make you feel better!”

“And out of everything you bought what—? Shitty coconut-flavored chocolate?!” 

Dazai whines, stomping his feet, “It’s coconut bri—“

“Ugh! Just shut up! Give me that—“ Chuuya snatches the bag out of Dazai’s hand before reaching in and pulling a piece of chocolate out. “After I’m done with this; I’m begging. Please, leave me alone for the rest of the day.”

Dazai straightens with a nod, “Yessir!”

Chuuya smiles barely as he rolls his eyes before popping the chocolate in his mouth, “Dumbass.”

Dazai can’t help but smile either. At least he did something right. 

“Yummy?”

Chuuya shrugs as they continue walking, “I guess I do like coconut.”

Dazai hums as he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “My mom used to make homemade brittle all the time. Was my favorite as a kid—“

“What?” Chuuya says as he freezes. Dazai pauses a few steps ahead of him, turning to give Chuuya a questioning glance. “What do you mean: brittle?”

“Eh? I mean—“

Chuuya coughs out a curse as he starts fumbling for his pants pocket, “Shitty Da— are you trying to kill me?”

Dazai tilts his head, but then he notices it instantly. Shit, he remembers. Chuuya’s allergic to—

And damn does it act fast. 

Chuuya’s cheeks are flushed a deep red, skin already looking wet and clammy as he gives up on his pocket to reach for the scarf. Dazai’s frozen in shock as he watches the boy stumble back three steps and yank hard on the scarf to loosen it. 

“Can’t— mm breathe.” Chuuya chokes out. His lips and cheeks look a bit swollen, and they increase in size by the second. 

“What’s happening?!” Kouyou calls as she runs up to Chuuya and places her hand on his back. She frantically looks over to Dazai, “What did he eat?!”

Dazai finally kicks into gear as he watches Kouyou set Chuuya down on the concrete as she sinks to her knees. Yosano’s yelling at her to lay him sideways. 

“Br— peanut brittle, shit.” Dazai gasps as he kneels in front of Chuuya and cups his face. Chuuya’s eyes are wild and glazed over, most likely in shock from the lack of oxygen entering his lungs. 

“Why is it happening so fast?!” He yells, uneasy as his fingers slide down Chuuya’s chest all the way to his jeans pocket. 

“Get his Epipen dammit,” Kouyou yells as she leans Chuuya’s head back against her chest. “He’s got a severe allergy to peanuts! I thought you knew this!”

He does. He did, why the fuck did he forget?!

Dazai’s fingers tremble as he pulls the pen out, and goes to uncap it. 

“You two need to calm the fuck down,” Yosano scolds. “Ranpo’s calling 112, but give him the damn Epinephrine.”

God, why does he always fuck everything up? He doesn’t even mean to half the time—

His fingers slide down Chuuya’s outer thigh searching for a good space before he presses the pen down firmly against him. He can hear the click and he holds it there for ten seconds as he inhales shakily. 

Instantly they hear Chuuya gasp, then he coughs hard and begins throwing up. Dazai exhales deeply as he grabs Chuuya’s chin and tilts it to the side so he won’t throw up on himself. 

“Goddamn it, Chuuya.” He sighs, “You scared the shit out of me.”

Thank god.

He doesn’t even mind the throw-up on him. 

Chuuya blinks, curling in on himself as he leans his head back into his sister, “Never offer me food again, bastard.”

Yosano smirks, giving a thumbs up as Kouyou pets the hair off of Chuuya’s sweaty forehead, “Nice save guys! You two totally didn’t panic!”

Dazai notes the sarcasm. 

He slumps forward, closing his eyes as he rests his hand on Chuuya’s ankle. He pays little mind to the crowd around them as Ranpo runs up. 

“112 is on their way to finish treating him. He’ll have to stay in the hospital overnight for supervision.”

“Thanks, Ranpo.” Yosano hums.

What a day, Dazai thinks as he rubs his thumb against Chuuya’s bare skin; the sirens are heard far off in the distance. 

“I’m so sorry,” He whispers under his breath as he fixates his gaze on Chuuya’s shoe. Nobody hears him. 

Chapter Text

“Yes, it’s a rather severe case of anaphylaxis. It was the right choice calling paramedics; one epinephrine wouldn’t have been enough,” 

Dazai rips at the edge of his bandages that lay against his wrist, fingers twisting and foot tapping against the floor as he looks over the short doctor's shoulder. He squints his eyes, trying to see into the room that Chuuya is currently being monitored, and hydrated through IVs.

Stupid. You’re so damn stupid Dazai.

“Is he stable enough now?”

Kouyou’s voice is tight, clipped, and on edge. 

Dazai won’t even look her way. He knows she’s not very happy with him right now. 

“He should be ready for discharge early in the morning, ma’am. I’d just like to keep an eye on him.” Dazai won’t lie and say he’s even paying attention to the doctor, it reminds him of Mori. The man loves to overshare his knowledge, and Dazai’s been listening to this doctor talk for a half hour now,  “His airway hadn’t completely closed for too long, and now that we’ve been keeping a close eye on him for the past few hours, we are positive he’s well. Nakahara will just be tired, is all, but you can go in whenever you please.”

That gets Dazai’s attention. His eyes flicker to Kouyou for the first time in two hours, and it’s not a surprise she’s already looking back at him. 

“Would you like to go in first, Dazai?” Her lips are in a tight thin line, “I’ll go to the cafe for a little bit, where Ranpo and Akiko are, so you can,” She waves her hand around in the air between them, “fix your shit.”

He clicks his tongue to signify he definitely has his shit together and has no clue what she’s talking about. 

It doesn’t get through to her.

Instead, she nods as if that’s all the answer she needs, turns on her heels, and walks out of sight.

Dammit.

He glances down at his wrists, and his chest squeezes a little when he can see a couple of milky scars peeking through where he’s been nervously— no, not nervously, he’s totally not nervous!— picking at his bandages. 

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he makes his way to the open door of Chuuya’s temporary room for the night. God, Dazai hates hospitals and now he’s forcing Chuuya to sleep in one all night, so that automatically means Dazai himself has to sleep in one all night. 

He blows a raspberry before sticking his head in the door to make sure Chuuya’s even awake. 

His eyes instantly land on narrowed blue ones, and not a moment after he gets a pillow chucked toward his head. 

It clocks him dead in the face, never given enough time to move out of the way. Mind you, Chuuya’s got a pretty strong throw, and Dazai wouldn’t doubt it’s weakened from the type of day he’s had.

He goes through the motions of making an indignant noise in the back of his throat to show just how displeased he is, and Chuuya could care less.

“God, how long have you been standing out there?! The service is terrible in this place! I threw up everything I ate because of your dumbass so go get me some coffee!”

“Yek, Chuuya’s so needy,” Dazai tsks, turning on his heels and ignoring the upturn of his lips. Someone’s feeling much better.

“Shut up and don’t take your time!” Is the muffled response he receives as he walks farther down the hall toward the shitty coffee stand near the waiting rooms.

As Dazai fills the styrofoam cup with steaming black coffee he thinks back to the earlier hours of the day.

The scarf that’s stuffed in Kouyou’s bag, Chuuya getting mad enough to shove him against the wall, the restaurant scene, the chocolate bar — 

It’s rare for Dazai to admit he fucked up, but man he really fucked up. 

He was trying to protect himself, and maybe he even did it out of anger or spite. Either way, Chuuya didn’t really do anything wrong. But still, the redhead said this was only for the girls so maybe Dazai was doing the right thing when he ended their little ‘add-ons’ to the relationship. 

It will be better in the long run, anyway.

But he doesn’t want—

He hissed, glancing down to see the hot coffee overflowing; it trickled down his fingers and is now all over the damn table. 

He frantically pulls tens to twenties of napkins from the dispenser- a desperate, but failing attempt to clean up his mess before everyone notices how much of a wreck he is today.

Chuuya makes him a wreck.

Once the cup looks clean enough he clicks the plastic lid on and makes his way back to Chuuya’s room. 

“Knock knock,” he singsongs, wiggling the coffee into view before stepping through the door himself. He doesn’t want another pillow to knock it from his hands.

Chuuya’s arms are crossed, a permanent scowl on his face— which Dazai sees reasonable— his hair is thrown up in a messy but and his back has no pillow behind it.

“Took you long enough.”

Dazai hums, bending over to grab the pillow off the floor. His knees pop in the process, but he ignores it in favor of walking to the side of Chuuya’s bed.

The redhead glances at him skeptical but still reaches for the outstretched coffee. 

Does he not trust Dazai?

He dusts the pillow off before tapping Chuuya’s shoulder, “Sit up.” The boy listens, lifting his back and allowing Dazai to slide the pillow behind him before he uses his index finger to push Chuuya’s shoulder back for him to lean against it.

Once that task is done Dazai avoids Chuuya’s piercing gaze to grab a chair and pull it next to the bed.

And god, it’s so loud in the near-silent room when he drags the chair. It screeches, and he even sees Chuuya’s back bristle in the corner of his eye.

Dazai’s about to wrap Chuuya’s IV line around his neck to end this misery.

“This is the shittiest coffee I’ve ever tasted, and why the hell is it filled to the top? I already spilled some on these damn sheets.”

Dazai slumps down in the chair, knees brushing the edge of Chuuya’s bed with how close he’s moved toward it. He watches as Chuuya takes another sip of coffee, cringing when the flavor hits his tongue. 

“At least you made it black. I’d have dumped this on you if there was that shitty sugar in it.”

Dazai pouts, wedging his hands between his thighs to hide the impurities, “I wasn’t going to walk all the way to the cafe for your highness.”

Not to mention it’s on the same floor and he easily could have. (He’s too scared of Kouyou.)

He watches Chuuya roll his eyes, and with each passing second the hole in Dazai’s stomach burns hotter and hotter. 

Is this guilt? God, he hates having feelings for people. 

“I’m sorry!” He blurts, back straightening when Chuuya’s bright blue snaps back to him. Chuuya even makes a scene of flinching when the words hit his ears.

Chuuya’s lips wrap around the rim of his cup again, going through the process of slurping his coffee loud, and Dazai’s positive there’s a smile hiding against it. 

After a couple minutes of silence, Dazai breaks again.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” He begs, exasperated, “I almost killed you! Not— not on purpose or anything, but I wouldn’t doubt you believe that! And the tea! I didn’t mean to spill that either, or the stupid—“

“Dazai, you don’t—“

“—rules. I was just mad. Okay?! Are you happy now, fuck, I’m sorry, Chuuya. I’m even breaking those stupid rules by sitting in here alone with you now,” he laughs bitterly, glancing up at the ceiling, “I don’t even know why I said them, but, well, we can pretend I never came up with—“

“Dazai!”

He clasps his mouth shut, glancing down to see Chuuya rubbing his eyes, the coffee being held between his thighs, “You ask me to say something, and then cut me off. You really hate to hear my voice don’t you?”

Dazai mentally wraps his hands around his own neck. Why does he keep fucking up?!

“I’m sorry,” he tried weakly again.

Chuuya holds his hand up, “Don’t have an aneurysm. You don’t need to apologize.”

“But I do. You almost—“

“Stop talking, Dazai.”

He nods quickly, rocking back and forth on the chair as he feels his cheeks warming up. 

“I wanted to finish my coffee before I had this conversation with you, but I guess I never get what I want when it comes to you.” Chuuya sighs, leaning back farther into the pillow as he looks away from Dazai, “It’s always your goddamn way and I just have to go fuck myself, huh.

“I even tried so damn hard to play shit your way. With how smart you are, you’re pretty fucking stupid.”

Dazai grimaces, keeping his mouth shut. Maybe he deserves this.

Chuuya glances back toward him, eyes flickering across Dazai’s face.

Dazai hates it.

“It’s my fault at the restaurant though,” Chuuya nods to himself, and Dazai can feel his chest crushing in on him, “I made my own fool of myself because I’m so worried that you’re always plotting against me— trying so damn hard to make me fuck up. You’re right, dammit! I’m the one who gets carried away with my emotions. Sorry all of us can’t be some heartless bastard.”

Dazai’s face crumbles and he’s positive he looks constipated now from all the words he’s forced to swallow.

Chuuya smirks, but it looks strained, “I should take the signs though, right Dazai? The night I asked you to hang out,” he chuckles without humor, “I should have just let you fuck me and go back to your room. Spare me the goddamn embarrassment, eh?”

Dazai remembers when Chuuya looked so nervous about asking him out three days ago. Dazai went out of his way to purposefully prove that he wasn’t in love with Chuuya and completely ignored the redhead's attempts to create the scenery like an actual date. 

He pushed off Chuuya when the boy tried to hold his hand, kiss him, shower with him–

Everything. And then, to top it off, Chuuya told Dazai he didn’t want to end what they had going on and he ignored that too.

What else has he ignored the past few weeks that he doesn’t even realize?

‘You come in my room and tell me–’

‘You like to see me put my goddamn heart –’

Dazai might peel his eyes out now. He really is bad at listening to Chuuya, huh?

“You know, Dazai,” Chuuya shrugs, “It’s okay. I am the fool, and it’s my fault for believing this could be anything more than what it is.”

“N–”

“Fake.” Chuuya cuts him off, sharp, “This is fake. What’s between you and me? It’s nothing more than that and I’m sick of twisting this into something it’s not!”

Dazai bites his cheek, he watches as Chuuya’s fists tremble as he squeezes the sheets. Is he really going to sit here and let Chuuya walk away? Not literally since he’s tied to the hospital bed through IVs, but metaphorically! Mind you, Dazai himself is the one who put Chuuya in this situation over and over and—

“So thank you, Dazai, for apologizing,” Chuuya smiles sheepishly, “I know you weren’t trying to kill me.”

“Chuuya, that’s not the only thing I’m apologizing for. There’s so much more–”

“And the tea, I forgive you for that too.”

“No–”

“And whatever the fuck you were mad at me about to stop kissing me. If you didn’t want to then you could have just said that though. I know you say it doesn’t mean anything–”

“Chuuya! God, shut up for one second.”

Chuuya scowls, fists ready to swing and Dazai leans back in his chair just in case, “You always do this Dazai! Why can’t you just let me talk for once in your goddamn life!”

“Because you don’t understand!” 

“I understand perfectly clear, asshole,” Chuuya growls, loud enough for a nurse to stick her head in. The glare she’s sent from both Dazai and Chuuya has her turning out of the room just as quickly though, “Just get out of my room! Hospital– room, you know what I mean! Get out, Dazai please,” Chuuya begs, biting hard on his bottom lip, “We can continue our fake dating, that’s fine. But after this, we are done for good. Being around you makes me believe things that aren’t true. I’m tired of hurting my own feelings.”

Chuuya moves to press the call button, a fair attempt at getting Dazai out of the room, but Dazai won’t let him. 

The brunette stands up, snatching the call button from Chuuya’s hands causing the redhead to reach forward again, but, no, Dazai won’t let him. 

“Stop!” Chuuya growls, flailing to grab the remote, “Give it back! Let go–”

Dazai hisses when Chuuya’s nails scratch at him as he grabs both of Chuuya’s wrists and pins them to his sides after moving the coffee to the side table. He doesn’t need to spill any more drinks on the redhead.

Dazai swings his leg over the bed, straddling Chuuya because damn this boy is squirmy, “Sit still! Chuu–”

“Get off of me, asshole,” Chuuya wiggles his hips, flexing his fingers at his sides from where Dazai’s holding him down. Chuuya glares up at Dazai, slumping against the bed after a few seconds of struggling, “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m making you listen to me,” Dazai exasperates, tightening his hands around Chuuya’s wrists, “I’m not letting you kick me out until I get to have my say in this conversation too. You can’t do all the talking and then push me out the door! How the hell are we supposed to get anywhere with this if you do?”

Chuuya huffs, brows furrowing, “You always fucking talk! Why can’t I have a chance to get the last say for once with you?”

“You can,” Dazai signs, leaning his head down on Chuuya’s chest, “You can have the final say, just let me talk for a minute,” and because he’s desperate, “Please?”

There’s a moment of silence after that, Dazai can feel the quick rise and fall of Chuuya’s chest against his forehead. His fingers loosen around Chuuya’s wrists before he lifts his head and glances between his bangs to see Chuuya frowning at the ceiling. 

“Your minute started, hurry up.”

Okay, yes.

“I’m not only sorry about spilling your drink, or poisoning you, or whatever, okay, Chuuya?” Dazai lays his forehead back on Chuuya’s chest because he’s not sure he can look the redhead in the eyes. Whatever, it’s not like Chuuya’s looking back. “I’m sorry, for everything.”

Chuuya scoffs out a laugh but keeps his thoughts to himself.

So, Dazai continues, “I’ve been giving you mixed signals, yes I know. I, er, I enjoy being near you, okay? I look forward to spending time with you, talking to you, just being with you in general.

“I tried so hard the other night to brush you off because I was scared I was going to get hurt,” Dazai scrunches his nose. Talking about his feelings isn’t really his thing, but he supposes Chuuya deserves it, “I even ended our arrangement, well, half of it because I was jealous, and I didn’t want to fall in lo–” he clears his throat, “I didn’t want to get so attached when I know you’re just going to leave in the end.”

“Jealous?” Chuuya asks in amusement.

“Shut up,” Dazai grumbles, trying to brush past that confession, “My point is, I don’t want to end this. I don’t want to lose you, okay? And frankly, almost killing you made me realize that even more.”

He sits up, still straddling the body beneath him. He watches Chuuya glance down at him, smiling lopsided. He’s so gorgeous, Dazai just wants to kiss him breathless. “Almost killing me, huh?”

“Not one of my finer moments.”

“Oh, definitely not.”

“So can we just,” Dazai shrugs, running his index finger from Chuuya’s wrist, up his forearm, “Start over?”

He can feel Chuuya shiver more than he can see it. The goosebumps that rise up his arms could be a clear indication too, though.

“Start over?” Chuuya signs, frowning. His eyes flicker to the door before he looks back at Dazai, “Kouyou totally just watched that whole thing.”

“I’m leaving! Was just making sure you were alive, Chuuya!” Her yell is muffled like she’s walking away, “Don’t stop on my account!”

Dazai’s face heats up, pouting as he looks down at Chuuya, “For how long?”

“Since you started restraining me.”

Dazai groans, but Chuuya’s quiet laughter ringing in his ears placates him, “She may just hate me forever.”

“I agree.”

Dazai laughs too despite himself, shaking his head as he looks at Chuuya again. The boy is still a little pale in the face, and the hospital lighting doesn’t fare well with his skin. He deserves to be in the sun, somewhere bright just like his personality, “I should have tied that scarf around my neck at the outlet mall.”

Chuuya’s brows crease inward, looking as if Dazai were the insane one, when in reality, Dazai’s sure they both are equally insane.

“I could have completely that Romeo and Juliet double suicide with you~”

The punch that connects with his chest may have been well deserved. 

“You’re such an asshole.”

Dazai grins, leaning down till his face is right above Chuuya, effectively closing him in against the bed. He watches as Chuuya’s eyes widen a fraction, breath hitching.

“Are we okay?” Dazai whispers in the space between them.

Chuuya’s eyes flicker down to his lips, and Dazai can’t help the way his fingers travel up to the side of Chuuya’s jaw. It’s barely been two days since he’s been this close to Chuuya, and he’s pretty sure any longer would have physically hurt him. 

“Dazai–”

He leans down, eyes fluttering shut, but his lips never feel the soft warmth of Chuuya’s own lips. Instead, he’s greeted with two fingers stopping him.

Shit.

He cracks an eye open to see Chuuya staring at him.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry,” Dazai murmurs, leaning up so he’s sitting instead of leaning over the redhead beneath him.

“Gross. You keep apologizing.” Chuuya makes a face that shows he’s thoroughly disgusted, and Dazai’s sure he should be offended, “Save them for later when you fuck up again.”

“But–”

“We are okay, Dazai,” and hearing that is the closest thing to relief Dazai’s gotten in days. He hadn’t realized his shoulders were tight, especially when they slump causing Chuuya to huff in amusement, “We are okay, but I think you’re right.”

Now he’s confused. 

“Your rules, I mean.” Chuuya nods, watching as Dazai blinks rapidly to keep up, “Kissing, fucking – it’s not doing us any good. Like you said, it may just hurt us in the end.”

Not if they're okay, can’t they make this work out? Can’t they have this?

“But–”

“I think banning being alone in the same room was pushing it though, because what the fuck, that’s almost impossible?” Fair point. Chuuya shrugs, “We can keep the physicality to a minimum. Touch when necessary to make this look real, but we are okay. We can hang out; be near each other– but, more than that is too much.”

And, that’s more than Dazai could ask for, right? He should be grateful Chuuya’s even willing to stick around after all the bullshit Dazai put him through.

“No kissing,” Dazai nods, “I can do that.”

“It’s for the best.”

Are they really never going to speak to each other again after the wedding? That’s barely more than a week left, and Dazai’s not sure he can go without the redhead.

But it isn’t truly his choice, is it?

“I can get out now if you’d like to kick me out,” Dazai sniffs, motioning toward the door as he moves to slide off Chuuya.

He’s stopped quickly though by a hand gripping his shoulder and pulling him down, “You aren’t getting away that easy; I’m too afraid you’re going to sulk somewhere alone in this hospital and I don’t feel like being a shitty person today.”

Dazai huffs, crossing his arms from where he’s lying next to Chuuya on the bed. He goes through the motions to turn and pout at the boy who’s scooting over to give him space. “Chuuya’s such a brute.”

“And you’re a sad kicked puppy,” Chuuya raises a brow, “You’re miserable to look at.”

“Rude.”

Dazai turns his head to look at the ceiling. His arms are folded over himself as he lays straight and stiff. He can feel Chuuya getting comfortable next to him. Every minuscule movement is felt within the small space between them and Dazai fears he may explode any moment now.

He can do this. It might rip his heart out of his chest in the end, but he can totally do this. Chuuya may not love him, but at least he doesn’t hate him. 

That may be more than he deserves. 

They can be friends, they can continue to fake date, and, maybe, after this, if Dazai’s lucky enough– he can convince Chuuya to keep in touch from time to time.

The redhead said they could be near each other and spend time together. So why not after they get back to Japan too?

“Shut up.”

Dazai stiffens, head turning to look at Chuuya who’s staring right back at him. He’s curled up, looking as comfortable as one could in a hospital bed. His head is resting on his elbow, as he lifts his other hand to flick Dazai in the forehead.

“Ack, what was that for?” Dazai rubs his forehead with a pout, “I didn’t even say anything.”

“Yeah, but I can see you thinking and it’s loud as hell.”

“Chuuya’s being so mean to me.”

“Uh, huh,” Chuuya deadpans, raising a brow before moving his arm out and holding it towards Dazai, “Get you’re ass over here, I’m tired. I couldn’t breathe today and my body hurts. Let me sleep, but I can’t knowing you’re going insane over there. I told you we are fine.”

Dazai bites his lip, huffing but sliding over until Chuuya wraps his arms around him. Dazai blinks, heart beating fast in his chest as his face gets squished into Chuuya’s own chest, “I can leave the room so you can sleep.”

“Just shut up before I kick you.”

“Okay,” Dazai whispers, smiling to himself against Chuuya. He carefully wraps an arm around Chuuya stiffly, but the sigh the redhead lets out causes Dazai to relax. He pulls Chuuya in, squeezing him and closing his own eyes. 

They did have a long day today, and Dazai can feel the weight of it all now that he’s comfortable in Chuuya’s arms.

He can do this, and maybe they will just have to start the ‘minimum physical touch’ tomorrow. 

“Goodnight, Dazai.”

“Mm, goodnight.”

Chapter Text

If it weren’t for the sound of wind whistling past their ears as they all drove home from the hospital— the ride would be deadly silent. 

Not that Chuuya minds, he has a pounding headache. He’s almost one hundred percent positive the coffee he made Dazai grab him both last night and this morning turned out to be decaf. Because that idiot doesn’t know how to do anything. 

Just like right now- he can’t sit still for the life of him. 

Dazai fiddles with the bandages around his wrist— they are new. He stole them from one of the drawers in Chuuya’s hospital room and wrapped himself up in the bathroom this morning. He even goes through the motions of tapping his feet against the car floor and brushing his knees along the back of Kouyou’s chair.

Chuuya can’t stand it. 

He reaches out, grabbing Dazai’s knee and squeezing it. 

He watches with satisfaction as Dazai stiffens, glancing over at him from the corner of his eye.

It’s been fun watching Dazai stress out. It’s not often the usual ‘confident’ and cocky asshole shows his true feelings. Chuuya can almost see the gears that have been working overdrive in Dazai’s head since last night. 

And it’s hilarious. 

Chuuya was pissed, yeah. Not about the peanut brittle- mistakes happen- but everything else. Dazai is an idiot, but an idiot that Chuuya is desperately into, as embarrassing as it sounds. 

He has his flaws, but he can tell Dazai is trying to make up for it. So, will Chuuya cut him some slack?

The answer is no, actually, but that’s okay because it’s funny.

Chuuya has forgiven him though, but only because he could tell Dazai was genuine last night.

Now, besides that, Dazai may be the worst listener ever, but the thing is— 

Chuuya isn’t. He actually listens and he actually cares. 

‘…I didn’t want to fall in lo—‘

‘…when I know you’re just going to leave in the end.’

So yeah, Chuuya may be feeling a bit giddy this morning. Letting Dazai continue to feel like he’s on eggshells is all part of Chuuya’s punishment. A way to get back at him for all the bullshit he’s caused this past week. 

Chuuya taps Dazai’s knee once before letting go with a grin. Dazai automatically starts bouncing his knees again; fingers fiddling with his bandages. Chuuya chuckles to himself which has Kouyou turning her head to glance back at him— brow raised as if she knew all the thoughts running through Chuuya’s head.

He clears his throat, eyes flickering back outside to watch the trees and surrounding buildings fly past them as they make it farther down the road back to their home. 

He’s afraid looking at her will give her all the answers she’s probably trying to find. 

Once Ranpo throws the car into park, Dazai stumbles out as if the seat burnt him. Chuuya smirks, stretching and opening his own door.

“Sorry for the inconvenience,” Chuuya has the sense to be a little sheepish as he rubs his neck, “I hope I didn’t ruin any of your plans.”

Yosano blinks, dusting herself off as she gives Chuuya a bemused glance, “Are you trying to tell me you having a full-on allergic reaction that got you sent to the hospital was just an ‘inconvenience’?” 

The way Dazai slumps on himself and quickly speed walks inside doesn’t go unnoticed from the corner of Chuuya’s eyes. 

He shrugs, following the rest inside, “I know how close we are to you're guys’ big day; I just don’t want to ruin anything.”

Yosano laughs, glancing at Kouyou, “You’re brother’s something, huh?” She smiles at Chuuya, clicking her tongue, “Don’t fret, you aren’t ruining any plans. Plus, these next few days are supposed to be a chill. Have some drinks or whatnot. You aren’t an inconvenience for having an allergy; I’m glad you’re okay, Chuu.”

He can feel his face warm as she pats his head and heads toward her room. He decides to head for the kitchen himself, starving since he refused to eat any hospital food.

And that’s when he runs straight into two hands pulling him in by the face.

He’s met with his mother’s inanimately wide eyes, her trembling fingers pulling his face every which way to get a good look at him.

“Oh, baby! Are you okay?” She pouts, eyes shining, “Kouyou told me what happened, but wouldn’t let me come see you! Ah! You’re so flushed. Are you sure they shouldn’t have kept you for a few days longer?”

Chuuya scrunches his nose, lashes fluttering when his mom starts blowing on his face, “Ma— mom please, I was hardly there for a night. There would have been no point in you coming.” He wraps his hands around her wrists to pry her hands off him, “I’m fine, seriously.”

She sniffles, taking her arms back and hugging herself, “You need to be more careful. Don’t give your poor mother a heart attack!”

“And I will be,” he brushes past her to begin his search through the kitchen cabinets. “I’m a grown adult. I can handle myself.”

“Can you?” He hears her head out of the kitchen, “You’re father doesn’t think so.”

He grits his teeth, eyes roaming the different cans and boxes of food. He chooses to ignore his mother in favor of pulling out the box of granola bars.

Before his fingers can touch the box, a warm body presses against his back as he watches a bandaged hand pluck the box from him. 

Chuuya bristles, turning slowly as Dazai backs away.

“What the fuck are you doing?” 

Dazai ignores him, mumbling to himself as he reads the box, “Chuuya, did you know these granola bars have nuts in them?” Dazai glances up at him, hugging the box, “What would you do without me!”

Chuuya scowls, face hot with irritation, “Only half of them do. It’s a multipack, jackass.” He reaches forward, but Dazai lifts the box out of reach, “Wha-“

“But what if the wrapping isn’t sealed tight enough, what if the flavors mix?” Dazai clicks his tongue, turning and tossing the box in the trash, “We can’t risk it.”

Chuuya groans, fists clenching at his sides, “I’m not going to shatter, Dazai.”

“You don’t have an EpiPen on you! Chuuya, you can’t-“ Dazai looks a little panicked and uneasy  that Chuuya takes a breath to calm himself, “If you tell me where it is, I’ll go get it from your room.”

“I know it may have been scary to watch that happen to me, but—“

“Scared, psh no, I wasn’t scared.”

“But,” Chuuya shrugs, “I’ve lived with this allergy my whole life. I promise you, I’m just fine.”

Dazai stands on the other end of the kitchen, still next to the trash can. He rocks on his heels, eyes flickering everywhere but at Chuuya. It’s cute, he looks so uncomfortable. 

Chuuya likes to believe that Dazai cares about him so much more than he tries to let on. 

“This is only the third time I’ve had such a severe reaction.” He adds to make Dazai feel better, though for some reason Dazai looks scandalized. 

“Three! Chuuya you need to pay more attention!”

“Hah?! One of them was intentional!”

“And two weren't!"

“Well everyone finds out they are allergic somehow!”

Dazai huffs, arms crossed over his chest, “Fine, Chuuya wins.”

“I didn’t know we were playing a game,” Chuuya deadpans. 

“Just know I’ll be going through each item here to make sure they have no nuts,” as if to further prove his point Dazai walks to the cabinet farthest from Chuuya, reaching for the first item he sees and reading the ingredients on them.

Chuuya watches him for a moment before moving to the fridge and pulling out an orange, “If that will help you sleep at night, then be my guest.”

All he gets in return is a click of the tongue.

Whatever.

And really, the next two days go by pretty smoothly between the two of them.

When it’s movie nights they cuddle but never kiss. Only enough to keep up the facade. Kouyou had been keeping a close eye on them. She tends to watch them closer than the movie. Chuuya can feel Dazai squirming even though the brunette has no clue he’s being watched. 

And he knows she’s curious, but he never indulges. 

Then there are the few times they all go swimming. It’s stupid, Chuuya likes those times the most. Dazai smiles at him, hair soaked and sticking to his forehead. The light gives his eyes a pretty glow, Chuuya had always thought brown eyes were the most beautiful in the sun. 

Dazai always grabs his hand, dragging him along in the water and blabbering about nonsense. They always seem to hover near each other, even when they aren’t talking amongst themselves.

Just like this one particular time in the pool. Chuuya’s talking to Sasaki, and her boobs are basically falling from her top— even if Chuuya isn’t into that kind of thing—- it’s hard not to look.

He’s also talking to Kunikida, something or other about the waves this morning being perfect for surfing, but he couldn’t because he promised Sasaki they would do some yoga instead.

Chuuya is half paying attention to the conversation and half letting his eyes wander to Dazai.

Just like every other time he’s glanced at Dazai— the boy is deeply enthralled in a conversation with Ranpo. He’s gesturing inanimately with one hand- splashing the water around- as his other holds onto Chuuya’s finger. 

He hasn’t once looked over at Sasaki who seems to be puffing her chest out even more than usual. 

And maybe that makes Chuuya smile.

Eventually, he uses a break in Dazai’s conversation to slither his way out of his own. Chuuya pushes through the water, his body pressing against Dazai’s wet bandages which automatically gains him the brunette's attention.

Dazai’s eyes flicker to look down into Chuuya’s own, “What’s up, sweetheart? Do you want me to grab your towel?”

Chuuya smiles, nodding, “Yeah, I think I’m done—“

“Awe,” Sasaki swims over to the two of them, floating on her back causing Chuuya to grit his teeth as she smiles, “I figured we could all play a game, hm?”

Dazai’s hands grip Chuuya’s hips, “Ah, maybe next time. My wet pup needs me to fetch him a towel.”

“Hah?! Wouldn’t that make you the dog!?”

Sasaki pouts, flicking her fingers to splash water on the two of them, “How about a round of chicken? The winner gets bragging rights.”

Dazai sighs the moment he feels Chuuya perk up in his hands, “Chicken?” He tilts his head; his competitive side trying to break free, “I haven’t played that in forever.”

Maybe five years ago, when he was still in high school.

She glows, reaching out for Chuuya and dragging him toward her, “Perfect! So you wouldn’t mind going with my dear Kunikida?”

Chuuya blinks thrice trying to process the words that just came from her mouth. It gives Sasaki enough time to latch onto Dazai’s arm and drag him toward the center of the pool.

“Ooo,” Ranpo not so helpfully chimes in, “What an interesting matchup.”

Chuuya feels the jealousy bubble under his skin, but he turns and grabs Kunikida’s arm instead to cover it up, “That’s fine. Dazai would probably drop me anyway.” He huffs, “Too damn weak.” He mutters under his breath.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense for me and Chuuya to be partners; I mean—“

“What, scared you’re gonna lose to me?” Chuuya taunts, smirking as he shoves Kunikida to his knees by his shoulders.

Dazai’s eyes linger where Chuuya keeps a tight grip on Kunikida, almost completely ignoring Sasaki interlacing her fingers with Dazai’s to pull him around, “No… no, I’m not scared.” He clicks his tongue, getting to his own knees, “Hop on, Sasaki.”

Chuuya scowls, practically climbing up Kunikida to get his thighs around his head, “Ranpo, you gotta count us off.”

Kunikida stands once Chuuya's comfortable, fingers digging into the meat of Chuuya’s thighs which has Dazai’s jaw clenching before he stands for Sasaki, his fingers wrapping around her ankles.

“Don’t be shy, Osamu,” Sasaki giggles, holding onto Dazai’s jaw to keep balance, “Don’t hold back for me~”

Chuuya sets his palm on the top of Kunikida’s head, blocking out the sound of the blondes complaining to point at Sasaki with his other hand rather aggressively, smirking, “Just because you’re a girl, doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you.”

She smirks back, and Chuuya ignores her nip slip to narrow his eyes at her, “You underestimate me, love.”

“You have a rather competitive boyfriend,” Kunikida mutters exasperatedly to Dazai when Chuuya’s other palm finds rest on his forehead.

Dazai smirks, eyes flickering to Chuuya. The way his auburn hair sticks to his neck, the beads of water rolling down his freckles chest, and each tense of his abs to keep himself balanced on Kunikida. Dazai has to—

“Eh, yeah, I noticed.”

“Are the teams ready?” Ranpo shouts, he now sits on the edge of the pool- legs in the water- with Yosano and Kouyou, “Remember to keep it fair, no hair pulling you two. This isn’t a high school fight between two girls duking it out for the same man—“ A pause, “Well, I mean… this isn’t high school anymore!”

Kunikida’s brows furrow and Dazai feels the need to look away. He settles his eyes on Chuuya instead as Sasaki’s lithe fingers trace his jawline, “Careful Chuuya, no one likes a sore loser.”

The smirk he receives only bleeds confidence.

“Ready…” Ranpo pulls out his camera, and Chuuya watches as Sasaki tightens her thick thighs around Dazai’s ears. “Set…”

“Can I just—“

“Go!” Ranpo cuts Kunikida off and instantly Dazai’s back almost breaks from the way Sasaki holds onto his neck for dear life. 

It’s the sound of multiple gasps and a splash that has Dazai glancing up at Chuuya- because damn, that was quick, but when he sees Chuuya’s hands covering his mouth and his eyes widened is when Dazai gets a little confused.

Sasaki pops out of the water almost as quickly as she fell in, her hands over her nose and everyone watches in silence as blood drips between her fingers, “Asshole! You hit a woman in the face!”

Dazai has to hide his own look of surprise behind his hands when Kunikida throws Chuuya off his shoulders from behind, “‘Saki, are you okay?!”

He grabs her by the shoulders as Sasaki glares at Dazai as if she’s waiting for him to do something about it.

Dazai squeaks when Chuuya yanks him by the arm, “I totally just punched her in the nose with my palm. I— I didn’t mean to.”

Maybe he was a little blinded by jealousy, but who wouldn’t be when the words ‘Osamu’ came out of her mouth and those sticky fingers were inches from Dazai’s lips, and—

“I’m so sorry,” Chuuya grimaces at the way his voice cracks.

It’s Dazai’s stupid giggle that has him shoving the brunette away from him.

Sasaki huffs, licking her lip before she fixes her top, “Were you that jealous of me you had to go and ruin my face right before the wedding?!”

“Ai ai ai!” Ranpo holds his hands up, “Chuuya won fair and square. I have the proof!”

Everyone silently glances over at Ranpo. Dazai slowly swims toward the brunette as Sasaki crosses her arms over her chest in disbelief, Kunikida is pulling her hair off her shoulders, and Chuuya awkwardly rocks back and forth on his heels. 

“I watched the video in slow-mo,” Ranpo smirks, “Hilarious, by the way— y'all should watch it-“

“Ranpo,” Yosano scolds.

“Anyway. Sasaki ducked down, so she put her face right where Chuuya was about to hit. It would have hit her shoulder otherwise. So, Chuuya was, in fact, not punching a woman in the face! Case closed!”

“Oo! I want to see!” Dazai swims up to the edge, giggling as he and Ranpo watch the video replay in slow-mo multiple times.

Chuuya chews on his bottom lip, watching as Sasaki shoves Kunikida off her before she makes her way to the edge of the pool.

“Chuuya! You gotta come see this!”

He scrubs his hands down his face. He’s stuck with a bunch of children.

“Tomorrow we rented a mini cruise out on the harbor as a celebration for the last week before we get married,” Yosano says, swinging her wine around as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend from behind. Her cheeks are flushed, grinning from ear to ear and Kouyou rolls her eyes. 

Her fiancée may have had four too many glasses.

Dazai lights up, taking a sip of his own wine, “A boat? I haven’t been on one of those since that Yacht party senior year.”

Ranpo chuckles, elbowing Dazai from where they sit on the couch, “Do you remember when that ice sculpture almost fell on Sasaki when the storm hit? Funniest shit ever.”

Chuuya sips his wine, eyes glued to Dazai’s bright smile. He has a bit of a buzz now, but the fact that he’s sitting on the floor next to his mom doesn’t really make it so nice. 

She’s ‘monitoring’ his intake and ‘wants to spend time’ with him, she says. 

“Oh yeah she sobbed in Osamu’s arms for an hour,” Yosano chuckles, “The family's drama queen, eh?”

Dazai and Ranpo nod along, which has Chuuya downing the rest of his glass.

“Chuuya, baby please slow down.”

He glances at his mom, fist squeezing his glass a little too tight, “I feel fine.”

She pouts, “I just don’t want you too sick.”

“Like I said the other day, I’m grown. I can handle myself.”

“Chuu- Chuuya,” Yosano’s arm limply flaps around as she stumbles away from Kouyou, “I need you to come to the kitchen with me.”

He instantly perks up, tripping a little when he stands way too quick, but Yosano’s already on him, dragging him away, “We’ll be back,” she sings to no one in particular.

His eyes accidentally meet Dazai’s before he’s brought around the corner.

He hadn’t spoken to Dazai in four hours. Not since they all got out of the pool, showered, and ate dinner. Sasaki and Kunikida left for the night, as well as Fukuzawa and his dad. They took Shirase to a shooting range— which Chuuya finds odd knowing Shirase was never the type to pick up a gun.

And, he has nothing to say, nothing he wants to say to Dazai though he keeps looking at the brunette as if he were going to speak. Dazai looks like he’s waiting for it too. For Chuuya to sit there and start up a conversation that they both know they need to have but refuse to do so.

Now doesn’t seem like the time though. 

“Give me your glass.”

Chuuya glances at Yosano, who’s already filled her own to the brim with red wine. They both know she doesn’t need it. 

He wordlessly hands his over, watching her fill it.

“Dazai asked me what your favorite color was,” Yosano mumbles with a giggle as she tops off the glass, “He was so adamant about it too for some reason.”

Chuuya bites his cheek, glancing at the doorway to make sure no one walks in, “Why did he ask?”

“Didn’t say, even though I asked him.”

He nods, taking the outstretched glass of wine from her before taking two big gulps, “He’s cryptic like that, with just about anything.”

Hardly ever says what’s really on his mind. Never lets Chuuya in, and never just takes what Chuuya’s waiting for him to come take.

“He’s so in love with you,” She whispers, eyes shining when their gazes meet, “But you didn’t hear that from me.”

Chuuya tightens his grip on his glass, almost afraid he might shatter it. Not to mention the blood he can practically hear pumping loudly in his ears. 

“You think so?”

‘…I didn’t want to fall in lo—‘

She smirks, lips dark from her wine, “I’m sure he has been for a while, but finally had the revelation a week ago.”

Chuuya nods, taking way too many gulps of his wine than what’s good for his health. Especially when—

“Oh,” Yosano points to his glass, laughing openly, “You already finished it. Let me catch up.”

He’s very positive she doesn’t need to catch up at the rate she’s been going all night. 

“I feel the same, you know. Well, of course, you know. It’s not hard to tell,” Chuuya shrugs, moving toward the counter to fill his glass again, “Have been.”

The room sits in silence for a moment while Yosano chugs her wine. And it’s weird, admitting that out loud to another person- someone who isn’t Dazai.

“Why not tell him? I figured you guys were dating— testing out the waters for the trip but I never assumed you both would last longer than this month. But I see that’s not the case so—“ She hands him her glass. Instead of filling it, he opts for setting it down next to him— because you know, out of sight out of mind— “Why haven’t you?”

Chuuya chews on his bottom lip, eyes wandering the kitchen as Dazai’s laugh rings in his ears from the living room, “I was waiting for him to say it first,” he chuckles. It may sound stupid, but with the rate Dazai’s going— he doesn’t think he ever will, “I noticed he’s bad at expressing how he feels, much better at showing it, but, well, I want him to take that step and actually say it before I put myself out like that.”

He wants to know if Dazai truly wants this because if he doesn’t then Chuuya’s not going to hurt himself for nothing or embarrass himself like he already has over and over again.  

She smiles at him, and the look of understanding she gives him makes him feel a bit better than he did a moment ago, “It’s hard to get a good read on him. I’ve known him my whole life and I still have trouble with it. I think he’ll get around to it, but give him the push he needs. It will save you both the time.”

She pats his cheek before turning to head toward the living room. He notes in the back of his mind that he successfully helped her forget about her wine. 

They don’t need one of the brides throwing up all night from alcohol poisoning. 

Chuuya glances down at his drink. The dark red liquid almost looks purple from the low glow of the oven light. 

Give him the push he needs? 

Chuuya could do that. He’s sure he could think of a way or two by tomorrow. 

“Woah.”

Chuuya’s head snaps up, shoulders squaring as Dazai stumbles into the kitchen.

“Christ, Dazai you scared me.”

The brunette smirks, setting his empty glass down on the counter as he tilts his head, “What’s Chuuya doing all by himself in the kitchen? Kouyou was just wondering where you were.”

Chuuya clicks his tongue, setting down his own glass beside him, “Getting more wine.”

“Can your tiny body handle that much? Remember the last time you drank—“

“ You promised you’d never bring that back up.” He grits through his teeth. 

Dazai throws his arms up in surrender, smiling, “Still too soon?”

“There will never be a good time to bring it up.”

Dazai pouts, taking a few steps closer to minimize the distance between them. His finger lifts Chuuya’s chin so they can look into each other’s eyes, “Didn’t think you’d fight a woman for me.”

He can feel his face burn but he refuses to look away, “I didn’t think I’d hit her in the face.”

Dazai tsks, thumb swiping the bottom of Chuuya’s lip. His organs twist on themselves. Chuuya knows this isn’t a part of their agreement anymore; he said so himself but—

“She was just trying to make you look bad,” Dazai whispers, eyes tracing the same lip his finger traces, “I talked to her about it.”

Chuuya’s breath slows, fingers curling at his sides, “It was my fault. Why would you; what did you say?”

Dazai shrugs, eyes glancing back at Chuuya's, “I told her what she was doing was wrong. Nothing terrible shortie, have some faith in me. She admitted to her little scheme. I must say it was flattering, but told her I’m happy with you so what she’s doing is useless. I’m with you, aren’t I?” He grins and it makes something in Chuuya’s stomach flutter.

Chuuya nods slowly, lips curving up at the corner, “Right, yeah you’re with me.”

Dazai’s eyes gleam as he smiles, turning around, “Then come with me, I saved you a seat on the couch.”

Chuuya takes a deep breath, reaching for his wine again. Tomorrow. He’ll give Dazai a push tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Chuuya nervously fiddles with the sleeve of his white silk button-up. He’s in the car with Yosano, Ranpo, and Kouyou on their way to the boat party the girls were talking about yesterday. 

Chuuya’s nervous, why? He wouldn’t know— well, yes, he knows. It’s because he needs to give Dazai a push today to see if Yosano was right that Dazai really does love him.

He hopes, yes, he hopes Dazai does, but if this doesn’t work, then Chuuya’s done trying. 

He’ll finish up the wedding and move on.

So, he will look pretty in his silk top that’s unbuttoned halfway down his chest. His cream slacks where his shirt is tucked beneath hug his ass deliciously, finishing it off with a gold carved clip in his hair and gold dripped chains around his neck to match.  

He even spent an hour giving his loose curls some more definition, redoing his eyeliner three times to get the perfect swoop, and practically bathing in his favorite flowery cologne.

So, thankfully— though more in place for the girls over him— Ranpo kept the roof of the convertible on. 

Chuuya would say he doesn’t care if Dazai sees him like this, but seriously, he’s not that much in denial. He worked to look this good for one, himself, and two, definitely Dazai.

Dazai. That stupid idiot walked him to his room last night because he feared Chuuya wouldn’t make it, though Chuuya didn’t drink enough wine for that. 

He indulged anyway, and just as Dazai was telling him goodnight at his door, he almost caved in and asked Dazai to spend the night. 

He held his tongue for once because he was not going to ruin his chances today, thank you very much.

Dazai leaned down, and Chuuya’s heart had stopped for a few beats in anticipation of a kiss. No, Dazai pushed his hair behind his head and whispered for Chuuya to have a good night.

Chuuya tried thinking about anything else other than the heat of Dazai’s breath on his ear, or the shiver that rolled down his spine from Dazai’s soft touch of the pads of his fingers.

Asshole, asshole, asshole.

Chuuya’s pretty sure the brunette likes to torture him on purpose, but all is well because Chuuya seems to be a masochist. 

Anyway, this morning Chuuya hardly got a glimpse of Dazai when Fukuzawa snatched him away to ride with them. 

Maybe that’s for the better, Chuuya isn’t quite ready to start his charade yet. 

“Did you bring the Ibuprofen?” 

Chuuya glances up front to see Yosano leaning her head against the glass window, her usually pin straight hair is dressed in a tight bun, and she’s wearing a long tight gold dress to match Kouyou’s silky silver one that slits high up on her thigh. They are so perfect for each other— Chuuya thinks absentmindedly as he watches Kouyou fret in her purse for the bottle of pills, handing two, and a water bottle that formed from what seems like thin air up front to her fiancée. 

Too much wine last night, perhaps? 

Kouyou lets her fingers linger on her lover's arm for a moment from behind the girl's seat before leaning back and looking at Chuuya, who’s been quietly sitting next to her for the past thirty minutes. 

“How are you feeling? Need some pills too?”

He shakes his head with a small smile, “I didn’t drink that much, thanks Ane-san.”

Yosano sits up abruptly, swiveling around to see the two siblings in the back seat. She narrows her eyes at Chuuya, “Are you insinuating I did have that much to drink?”

He throws his arms up in surrender, smirking with the corner of his lips, “Asking the person who had to sneak your wine glass away from under your nose?” He looks out the window in contemplation, humming, “No, you seemed pretty sober to me.”

“The sarcasm is unnecessary, kid,” Yosano rolls her eyes with a grin, “Ozaki, flick your brother for me.”

He huffs, glaring at Kouyou from the side, daring her to try. “I’m not a kid,” he grumbles. 

“We’re here!” Ranpo interjects before Yosano can disagree with Chuuya. The car comes to an unruly stop, sending Chuuya’s body forward just enough for his seat belt to strangle him a little.

They had to drive a good distance to a boat ramp that owns the couple dinner cruises they booked from. Well, the girls booked from. 

Chuuya just seems to be along for the ride this whole month. This long, never-seeming-to-end month. 

One week left, and he’s not sure how he feels about it.

Once he’s back in Japan, he’ll either be starting his life right where he left it— just a few differences, like the fact he’s not in med school anymore. Or he’ll be figuring out the start of a new relationship with Dazai. 

It sounds unreal, but Chuuya is secretly— desperately— hoping that something like that with Dazai could even be a possibility. 

He’ll find out tonight, won’t he?

Chuuya clears his throat, quickly moving to open his door as a nervous thrill runs up his spine. Dazai’s here, and they finally get to spend the evening together, stuck on this boat. 

There’s no way Dazai can run, and there’s no way Chuuya can chicken out. 

There has to be a time Chuuya can find to pull Dazai aside for a little chat. 

As soon as Chuuya steps foot out the door, he’s greeted with the humid air of the evening, and the beautiful deep oranges and reds of the sunset reflecting off the water. The other two cars ahead —

One with Dazai, Fukuzawa, Kunikida, Sasaki, and Shirase in front of their own. The other with Fukuzawa’s wife— which Chuuya really hasn’t spoken one word to since he’s arrived, he’s now realizing— and both his parents. 

He barely takes three steps from the convertible before his eyes meet Dazai’s own. The brunette had just gotten out of the car, holding it open for Sasaki and Kunikida to slide out. He’s got that stupid fucking sexy smirk plastered on his lips that has Chuuya’s organs melting. 

He’s wearing black slacks that are held up by the Louis Vuitton belt Chuuya painfully remembers unbuckling and pulling down Dazai’s thighs while he probably looked like a desperate whore on his knees. Anyway, the deep navy button-up Dazai is wearing defines his broad shoulders perfectly, and now Chuuya might be getting too anxious to pull him aside and give the brunette a ‘push’.

He walks towards Dazai while the rest of the group makes their way toward the boat. He’s grinning back at the brunette with his hands in his pockets as Dazai walks toward him. The bold setting sun shines over Dazai’s honey eyes, causing them to glow with pretty colors. And those stupid straight white teeth are on full display, making Chuuya’s stomach warm. Why does Dazai look so happy to see him?

“You look stunning,” Dazai says before Chuuya can even open his mouth, the moment they are within arm's reach. Dazai pulls Chuuya in by the waist, pulling their bodies flush against each other. Chuuya’s hands are stuck in his pockets as heat rises to the tips of his ears, and his heart races. Dazai bends down to kiss the crown of his head. “I love your hairpin,” he whispers.

Has Chuuya died? Is the first thought that comes to the forefront of his brain— because— what the fuck? Dazai’s not allowed to make him feel like this before he gets a clear definition of the thoughts that go on in that big brain of Dazai’s. 

He can’t play with Chuuya’s mind like this before Chuuya knows if his feelings are reciprocated. So if this is all a play infront of the family, then that’s got to be fucked up.

But- maybe Chuuya can indulge? It might make the conversation he plans to have later a little easier to go down. 

Chuuya bites his lip when Dazai rests his palm on the back of his shoulder blade to push them toward the boat. 

“Thank you,” Chuuya murmurs, eyeing Dazai as they make their way over to the rest of the family, “You don’t look so bad yourself.” He pauses, before smirking, “I like your belt.”

Dazai hums, scrunching his fingers against Chuuya’s back to tickle him, “You do? Well, it’s new.”

“Interesting.”

“Get off me,” Chuuya hears snapped out, over by where everyone is entering the boat. He watches as Sasaki swats at Kunikida, who has been trying to help her on, “I can do it myself.” She glares at Chuuya and Dazai before stepping onto the boat and almost slipping back off the edge from the way her six-inch stilettos twist her ankle.

Chuuya pulls his hand from his pocket to bite his wrist— whatever will keep him from laughing out loud. 

As it’s both Chuuya and Dazai’s turn to step in, Dazai holds out a hand with a lopsided smile, “Need help? I don’t want your tiny body slipping through the cracks. We might lose you in the ocean!”

Chuuya scowls, any thoughts about how sweet and handsome Dazai was seconds prior shatter instantly, “Oh, shut the fuck up!”

“Make me-“ Dazai sings before hopping on the boat and pulling Chuuya on by the wrist.

Yosano gets bumped as Chuuya gets pulled, and her nose crinkles as she glances at the two boys, though Chuuya can see the amusement in her eyes, “All this testosterone is making my head pound.”

“You sure it’s not the hangover?” Chuuya asks, effectively earning himself a flick in the arm before she walks toward her lover. 

Chuuya takes the time to look around as Dazai leaves him for a moment to ‘grab the two of them some champagne’. He was the last one on the boat— a large two-level yacht— that’s set up with an open bar in the first level covered in soft yellow fairy lights. There’s low music playing outside, where there’s enough space for people to dance and mingle. Through the tinted windows that lead to the small indoor portion, he can see the lined-up charcuterie boards with different breads, grapes, cheeses and meats, olives, and dippings on tables covered in fancy white cloths. 

The upper deck of the boat he can’t really see from down below, but it looks just like another place to hang out with seating. Somewhere away from all the noise down below. Maybe that would be a good place to take Dazai later in the night, once the sun goes down and everyone’s having drinks on the lower deck by the bar. 

Chuuya sneaks along the side of the boat, headed to the tip where he can sit and watch the boat leave the dock. He can smell the salty air, hear the seagulls chirping as the music gets softer in the background. 

The only other person up here is Fukuzawa, away from everyone else as he leans over the railing to look down into the dark blue ocean.

“It’s a beautiful night out,” Chuuya comments, eyes flickering around to see the soft waves and the sun peeking over the horizon. 

“Isn’t it?” Fukuzawa turns around with a smile, “Glad you all could take the month off to come celebrate our girls. I’m so proud of them.”

Chuuya smiles back, his hands shoved in his pocket as he breathes in deeply, feeling the boat rock as it moves further from shore, “We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” He licks his teeth, “They deserve all of this.”

Fukuzawa stays silent, and Chuuya can feel him staring at him, but he keeps his eyes trained in the distance.

“You too.”

Chuuya startles, not thinking their conversation would have gone further than the courtesy of small talk, just because they ‘ended up alone in the same portion of the boat’, but Chuuya doesn’t get that luxury of silently enjoying the sunset. “Hah?”

Fukuzawa walks toward him, an unreadable expression on his face, “You deserve this too. Osamu is like a son to me, treat him well.”

Chuuya chokes on his spit as Fukuzawa pats his back and walks away. He punches his chest as if that could help his coughing fit subside. 

He would love to treat Dazai well, but that asshole doesn’t let him. 

“Need some champagne to wash that down?” 

Chuuya straightens, shoulders bristling as he whips around. His eyes are blurred from his spit going down the wrong tube, and Dazai popping out of nowhere really doesn’t help. 

He swats the brunette away like he were a fly, still reaching out to snatch the second glass of champagne in Dazai’s hand to chug. 

Dazai watches him with a bemused raise of the brow, rocking on his heels as Chuuya silently downs the entire glass and clears his throat five times.

“Er- Did the old man get your tongue?” Dazai purses his lips, moving to the front of the boat to lean against the railing, eyeing Chuuya suspiciously, “Saw Fukuzawa walking back when I came searching for you. You know, it’s hard to find a needle in a haystack! I forgot to bring my microscope or — better yet— my dog collar to keep you from wandering too far!”

“Shut,” Chuuya takes a deep breath, finally getting his bearings, “your annoying mouth up for one damn minute.”

Dazai clutches his chest, his brown tousled hair blowing lightly in the wind as the sun dips lower into the water behind him. Pretty, ugh. “And no thanks for the champagne? I fought Ranpo for those. He said he didn’t want to waste his best champagne on me!”

“Understandable.”

“Chuuya! Have some empathy!”

The redhead rolls his eyes, moving to stand next to Dazai, though he faces out toward the water. Dazai turns around to face the same way, using his elbow against the railing as a rest to prop his chin up on his palm.

“Fukuzawa told me to treat you right.” He decides to share after a minute of silence.

Dazai hums, a small chuckle under his breath, causing Chuuya to glance at him from the corner of his eyes. It’s all Chuuya’s been able to think about since he had seen Dazai this evening. 

So pretty. In the most annoying way possible. It makes Chuuya just want to start that conversation now. But—

But if Dazai doesn’t feel the same, wouldn’t it ruin the whole evening?

Then Chuuya would be stuck on this stupid fucking boat with stupid fucking Dazai while trying to drink away his embarrassment. 

He’ll get a couple more drinks in for liquid courage. Maybe even wait till the sun is completely down so Dazai can’t read his expressions so easily. 

“He’s always watching out for me,” Dazai muses, tilting his head against his palm and closing his eyes— feeling the breeze from the moving boat through his bangs, “protective and stuff– with everything that happened.”

“Happened?” Chuuya asked instantly, leaning his head a little closer to Dazai. He’s curious; perhaps he can blame the closeness on that.

Dazai grins, glancing at Chuuya from the corner of his eye, “He and Mori were business partners, ‘broke up’ if you will, before moving here to Greece. So,” Dazai shrugs, “He’s been like family since day one. Knows what a piece of shit my dad can be, and was there when mom-“

Chuuya inhales softly, nodding in understanding so Dazai doesn’t have to finish his sentence. 

“I’m glad he watches out for you.”

Dazai leans back, taking a sip of his champagne before looking over his shoulder toward the other side of the boat. “And I’m glad he approves of you.” Dazai murmurs, barely under his breath, “He’s a real good judge of character.”

“…”

Chuuya short-circuits, wishing he hadn’t chugged his champagne because how the hell is he supposed to respond to that? 

Dazai’s been acting strangely today. Had he heard the conversation he and Yosano had last night?

“Anyway!” Dazai claps so loudly it startles Chuuya again, “We should get back over there. You -“ Dazai shoves his finger into Chuuya’s cheek, “need more champagne, and we -“ he moves his finger between the two of them, though still poking Chuuya repeatedly in the cheek, “need to mingle. Make this our best show yet.” 

Chuuya scowls, fighting the urge to bite the finger that won’t leave him alone, “I get it, I get it.” Chuuya dodges the next finger coming for his face, “Don’t touch me!”

Dazai grins, wiggling his brows as he takes a few steps back, “Don’t act like you don’t love it~”

Chuuya begrudgingly follows behind Dazai, acting as annoyed as possible just to hide his smile. Make this their best show, Dazai says? Well, Chuuya is sure he can do that easily, and it won’t feel like much of a show to him.

He hopes it will feel just as natural to Dazai as it is for himself. 

Dazai chews on the rim of his glass, letting his third refill of champagne run over his tongue as he watches Chuuya laugh from the corner of his eye. 

Shirase said something hilarious, apparently, though Dazai one thousand percent believes it couldn’t be funnier than anything he’s said like- ever. 

“Osamu, there’s cheese inside if you're that hungry.”

Dazai glares down at Ranpo— who has a full plate of charcuterie food in his hands— to see a charming grin. 

“I’m not hungry.”

“Then quit chewing on your cup,” Ranpo scolds and stabs Dazai in the stomach with his salty fingers, “you’ll break a tooth and Chuuya won’t find you handsome anymore.”

“Are you sure breaking a tooth would be the cause of that?”

Ranpo raises a brow, before turning to look as Shirase places a hand on Chuuya’s bicep, “Ah, your murder tendencies are showing~”

“Not,” Dazai rolls his eyes, “I trust my shortie. My doggy will sniff me out any minute.”

Ranpo scrunches his nose, “Is that like— a kinky thing you guys do in bed?” Ranpo looks off in the distance toward the dark star-lit sky as if contemplating something, “Dog and master type of thing? I think that’s a little weird.”

Dazai’s lips thin out, “Please, be quiet.”

Ranpo licks his finger after tossing an olive in his mouth, “It’s your fault for putting the mental image in my head. Ugh, and with all those noises you two make.” Dazai watches him nod firmly, “The case is coming to a close, I understand everything.” 

Dazai’s brows furrow, catching a glimpse of Chuuya as the redhead turns to him with a bright smile. It causes the tightness in his chest to ease slightly, and he returns the smile before hearing a snicker from Ranpo. 

Dazai scowls again, eyes shifting to his friend. “You don’t know what you're talking about.”

“I don’t think I wanna know.”

“Then stop thinking about it!”

“I can’t!” Ranpo’s face crumbles, swiping Dazai’s drink to wash his food down. Everyone around seemed to gather on the small ‘dance floor’ area. The music is soft, and the drinks have been flowing nicely. 

The only thing not-so-nice is the fact that Ranpo won’t shut his mouth.

“— and the real question is: why haven’t I heard those noises recently? It’s been about a week, and not saying that I really care. I mean I wasn’t getting any sleep—!“

“Okay!” Dazai interjects, exasperated, “Let’s pick a new topic, hm?”

“Is it because you have no more sex life?” Ranpo purses his lips as Dazai turns around to refill his champagne glass at the bar behind him. “Bingo.”

He’s not drunk enough for this interrogation. 

“Uh-huh, look who’s talking—“

“I’ll have you know, Poe and I have great phone sex!”

Dazai snatches a bottle of champagne and begins filling his cup as full as possible. If he drinks enough, would it give him an easy, painless death that he won’t even remember? Or— maybe it could just get the memory of this conversation out of his head.

Because Dazai can’t do this.

“So happy for you,” Dazai comments as a means to end the conversation.

“Hey, do you—“

“I don’t wanna know!” Dazai cries out, flinching from the hand that grabs his forearm, eyes turning wide to look at—

Oh, not Ranpo. Though he can hear him snickering right next to him.

Chuuya’s eyes are giant blue saucers, and he has his hand to his chest like Dazai’s touch burnt him, “Uh— okay.”

Dazai blinks, eyes sliding from Chuuya’s slightly alcohol flushed face over to Ranpo, who’s giving him a teasing smirk. 

Dazai smirks back at Ranpo, he mouths ‘I told you’ and watches with satisfaction as Ranpo scrunches his nose and turns to walk away. 

He ignores the middle finger pointed in his direction for the more important situation he has at hand, Chuuya, “Not— you, that wasn’t for you.”

Chuuya’s lip quirks in the corner as his eyes flicker to the bar and back at Dazai, “Figured.”

Dazai nods, clearing his throat as he sets his glass down on the side of the table, “Did you need something?”

Chuuya flushes even pinker, a very pretty pink at that, thanks to the faint glow of the bar lighting illuminating Chuuya’s face. 

“Well, you know— everyone’s you know,” Chuuya shrugs, flicking his wrist to the small dancing crowd behind him, “And I thought—“

“Didn’t want to dance with Shirase?” Dazai cuts in, but then bites his tongue hard when he sees the way Chuuya’s brows twitch in irritation. Right, he needs to learn how to stop interrupting the redhead, “I’m sorry.”

That has Chuuya’s face twisting, looking almost scandalized before a small laugh bursts out of him, “You aren’t as smart as you act, you know.”

Now Dazai believes he has the right to look scandalized, “Huh?”

“Point proven,” Chuuya grabs his bandaged forearm, sliding it down his wrist till he takes Dazai’s hand and pulls him forward, “And stop apologizing, it sickens me.”

“Dramatic much?” 

Chuuya quirks a brow, smiling, and dragging Dazai to the center of the makeshift dance floor. 

The boat rocks gently as it drifts along the harbor, keeping Dazai’s buzz feeling a little stronger than a buzz. He’s been secretly keeping an eye on Chuuya’s intake, and he’s sure Chuuya feels plenty more than himself. 

Dazai can’t help but smile back; the feeling in his stomach twists his gut nicely. Those pretty blue eyes look darkened from the night sky, his red bangs curl around his face in all sorts of directions from the slight humidity. 

He curses the sun for having set over an hour ago, just because it makes it hard to see those thousand pretty freckles that litter Chuuya’s whole face. Though the stars and moon seem to dance in those ocean blue eyes, make up for it. 

“Do you even know how to dance?” Chuuya comments as he comes to a stop, placing his hand against Dazai’s stomach just for the sake of closeness. He looks up into brown eyes with a teasing smirk.

Dazai lets out a soft laugh, rolling his eyes, “Just let me lead.”

Is it normal for his heart to beat this fast in his chest? 

Chuuya shoves him back by the stomach, holding his hand out for Dazai to take, “Then show me what you got.”

Dazai chuckles, taking Chuuya’s hand again and yanking him in quickly to lose as much distance as possible. He twists Chuuya’s arm around, spinning the shorter until his back is flush against Dazai’s front with a slight thud. 

Chuuya coughs out a laugh from the air that gets knocked out of his lungs. He leans his head back into Dazai’s chest to look up at him as the brunette keeps his arm held around Chuuya’s waist. They sway softly with the music, and Dazai’s positive he’ll drown in those big eyes.

They stay like that for a moment, moving to the beat of the music, body heat keeping each other warm as the sea breeze ruffles their hair. As Dazai spins Chuuya back around, sliding one hand up his back as he puts Chuuya’s other hand on his shoulder, he forgets to pay any mind to their families around him. 

All he can think about is Chuuya, Chuuya, Chuuya. How beautiful he looks under the soft boat lighting, how breathtaking his smile is, or the way his laugh rings softly in his ears. 

When he dips Chuuya back and the redhead grips him tighter to not fall, Dazai thinks about how he wants to bury his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent and never coming back out for air. 

He doesn’t care about Shirase, Sasaki, Chuuya’s parents, Ranpo— anyone or anything. He just wants to engrave that smile on Chuuya’s face into his memory, and the way he doesn’t look away from Dazai once.

It’s just them.

And maybe Dazai doesn’t want anything else.

Though the music ends too soon, with both of them chest to chest, breathing erratically against each other’s faces with mouths inches apart. Chuuya laughs between his panting breaths, sending Dazai’s heart overboard.

“Maybe you aren’t so bad,” Chuuya whispers into the small space between them.

Dazai’s eyes flicker to Chuuya’s plush lips before looking back in those blue eyes, “I could give you a few pointers, slug.”

Chuuya shoves him back softly, rolling his eyes, and pretending to be irritated, “I take it back, you're so full of shit.”

Dazai grins, opening his mouth to respond, but before he can, they hear a clinking of silverware against a glass.

They turn to see Fukuzawa standing on the top deck with an arm around Yosano, smiling, “Everyone, come up and join our toast. The last week our girls will be engaged!”

Chuuya turns back to Dazai, seeing him staring up at Fukuzawa. His jaw twitches like he’s chewing on his cheek, fingers still lingering on Chuuya’s biceps since they hadn’t pulled away just yet. 

Would now be the perfect time to finally give Dazai that push he needs? 

“Daz—“ Chuuya’s eyes flicker to the side, catching a glimpse of Sasaki walking past them. Her eyes linger where they hold onto each other, and it causes Chuuya to falter for just a moment.

Dazai wants Sasaki, doesn’t he? 

Their whole plan was to get them back together, in the end, wasn’t it? That, along with helping the girls' wedding go as smoothly as possible. 

And what was that Dazai had said earlier? ‘Make this our best show yet’

Chuuya can do that.

“Chuuya?” He looks over as Sasaki walks past them, finally making her way up the stairs to the upper deck. Chuuya’s eyes snap back to Dazai, who’s giving him a questioning look, “You coming? You’re giving me a funny look.”

Chuuya scowls, dropping his hands from Dazai, “I’m fine, but no, we aren’t going. Follow me.”

He hurries past Dazai. 

This is stupid, but maybe Dazai doesn’t need a push in Chuuya’s direction; maybe this whole thing has really been for everyone else. 

Chuuya will give everyone the show they need. 

To seal the deal.

“And where are we going?” Dazai questions as he follows Chuuya to the front of the boat. His voice sounds close behind, but Chuuya is too nervous to turn around. His face feels warm, and he can’t stop fidgeting with his own fingers. “The party is not this way. Is Chuuya’s brain too small to comprehend his sense of direction?”

Chuuya ignores him in favor of his nerves grating just as much as his irritation at Dazai's voice. If Dazai laughs at him or doesn’t go along with this, then Chuuya’s unsure where to go from there.

He’s on the fine line of finishing what they started on their ‘fake dating contract’ and blurting out that he wants more than this.

Chuuya stares at Dazai for five seconds too long. He watches as Dazai’s brows slowly crease inward, confusion engraved on his handsome face. 

The redhead throws his arms out, gesturing to the whole boat. “Titanic me.”

He pays close attention to the way those creased brows jump behind chocolate brown bangs. Dazai looks a little confused, more shocked than anything.

“Eh?” Dazai takes a step towards Chuuya, and he’s unsure whether that helps him breathe a little better or constricts his chest more. “Is Chuuya—“

“Don’t even start that,” Chuuya blows out air he was holding in his burning lungs, it flutters his bangs, “We’re going to close the deal, you know,” his head flicks toward the group up top, clinking glasses and laughing together. 

Dazai’s brow twitches, and Chuuya wishes he could know exactly what the other was thinking at this very moment. 

“This is so stupid,” Dazai purses his lips.

Chuuya nods, but shrugs his shoulders as if he wasn’t having an internal battle right now, “Exactly. But that’s the point, isn’t it?” Chuuya climbs to the front of the boat and smiles when Dazai follows behind. “We’re in the ‘honeymoon phase’, Dazai, everything is supposed to be butterflies and rainbows, yeah?” Dazai shakes his head, but Chuuya ignores it. He bends down to take his shoes off, using Dazai’s shoulder to keep him from losing balance, “They’re all naive enough to believe this bullshit. Shirase will be off my back, and Sasaki will see you're actually serious about wanting something and fall right into your lap!”  

Dazai chews on his bottom lip, eyes flickering to the people behind them and back toward Chuuya. 

“Wait,” Dazai reaches out to hold Chuuya still by the shoulder, not letting him walk toward the tip of the boat just yet. They stare in each other's eyes for a moment, Dazai looks— unconvinced. But Why?  “I don’t think Sasaki needs to think that—“

“Don’t be silly,” Chuuya smiles and flushes red when he feels how sad it must look. A pathetic attempt to be okay with helping Dazai get Sasaki back. “It will work.” He brushes Dazai’s arm off him.

“Maybe I don’t want —“

“Get over here and touch me already.”

He can hear Dazai groan, then laugh softly from behind, feel him shaking his head once Dazai’s close enough that he has his arms already wrapped around Chuuya’s waist, “Alright, I’ll do this for you, Chuuya. Though I'll say this is the stupidest thing that peanut brain of yours could think of.”

“Just shut the fuck up,” Chuuya closes his eyes, feeling Dazai’s heart beat quickly against his back. The breath blows through his hair, tickling his cheeks as Dazai’s thin fingers teasingly squeeze Chuuya’s waist, “Hold out my arms.”

“I’ve seen the movie,” Dazai comments, but he slides his hands along Chuuya’s arms anyway before lifting them up to the sides.

“Really?” Chuuya huffs, rolling his eyes when he hears Dazai tsk behind him, “It’ll work,” he whispers under his breath. 

Because Chuuya wants this so badly, but isn’t that selfish? Yosano says Dazai loves him, but wouldn’t Sasaki be his first choice? It might just be that their illusion of dating has been working so well that Dazai had made himself believe he’s in love with Chuuya, even though he actually isn’t. Yeah, that could absolutely be it. Maybe doing this will help Chuuya save himself from that heartbreak later.

‘Give him a push’ what the hell was Chuuya even thinking?

“You know what, Chuuya?” Dazai murmurs in his ear, making the redhead shiver.

“Ah, what?” Chuuya leans his head back against Dazai. He hopes Dazai can’t hear his heart beating like he can feel Dazai’s against him. 

“Now that we are doing this—“ Dazai purses his lips, “No, it’s still the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“Fuck you, bastard,” Chuuya growls, unable to stop himself from smiling when Dazai laughs loudly.

They take a second to breathe, letting silence linger for a moment. Enough for Chuuya to feel the need to whisper the next time he speaks.

“Are they looking?”

He can feel Dazai turn his head, and he tries to peek over with him.

It’s only a split second, but they can see everyone’s reactions.

Shirase is shaking his head, smiling weakly as both of Chuuya’s parents try to console him. Good.

Then there’s Fukuzawa and his wife smiling, he can see Fukuzawa laughing at Ranpo, who’s taking a video of them. Ugh, stupid. 

There’s Kouyou and Yosano. Kouyou is laughing quietly at the side, shaking her head at them like she finds their idiocy cute. Yosano is jumping up and down, double thumbs up for them, which makes Dazai chuckle under his breath.

And then Sasaki, she’s twirling her glass in her hand, eyes flickering over the two of them with an unreadable expression, Kunikida isn’t paying attention, looking over the boat probably trying to scout out dolphins or some shit.

Has it worked?

Though, is this really what Chuuya wanted?

He was supposed to get Dazai alone, to get the brunette to confess— not for, for this.

“Are you gonna do it?” Dazai turns back to Chuuya, and the redhead short-circuits for a moment.

“I—“ want you, please want me back. I’m actually in love with you, crazy, right? But not really because I think you’re in love with me too. But it really could just be an illusion and have nothing to do with feelings for each other, right? Fucking— “Huh?”

“The line. Are you gonna say the line?”

Chuuya turns to look out at the sea again, unable to stop himself from giggling, “Oh.”

“It’s King of the world,” Dazai whispers in his ear, cold fingers slide up his arms to wrap back around his waist, “Your King of the world, Chuuya, say it~”

Chuuya shakes his head. This whole thing is stupid, Chuuya knows that. But Dazai goes along with his stupidity, it seems.

Chuuya closes his eyes, smiling from ear to ear that it almost hurts, “I’m flying, Jack.”

Dazai laughs, squeezing Chuuya tightly around the waist, “Alright, you had your fun.”

Chuuya turns, leaning to the side to look over Dazai’s arm. He can see the forms of Sasaki and Shirase turning and walking away. 

He blows out a shaky breath, trying to slow his heartbeat down.

“Shows over,” Chuuya murmurs and easily slides away from Dazai, chewing on his bottom lip so much he feels it might split.

He turns to see Dazai smiling at him crookedly with his head tilted in a manner that Chuuya can read so easily. That asshole is about to tease him. 

“You know, for someone so full of fire that throws punches, you sure are a hopeless romantic.”

“Don’t even start with me,” Chuuya snaps back with no heat. It’s more in a teasing way, and to further prove he’s not a hopeless romantic and still will beat Dazai if he pisses him off, he gives him a little shove. 

Of course, a very miscalculated mistake.

Dazai laughs like he too didn’t see the mistake, but then stumbles back as the boat rocks him off his axis. Dazai’s eyes widen in shock along with Chuuya’s own once Dazai stumbles far enough to— yeah, fall off the edge of the boat.

Chuuya jumps forward, reaching out to try and pull Dazai back, but he misses by just an inch— the splash of salt water in his face indicating so.

“Dazai!” Chuuya panics as the brunette completely disappears into the dark abyss below the water. “Fuck, fuck fuck !” 

Chuuya gives it two seconds to comprehend what he’s about to do before he jumps in the water after Dazai.

The shock of the water isn’t as cold as he anticipated, but a great amount of it shoots straight up his nose as he squeezes his eyes shut tighter. 

He can feel his clothes cling to him like a second skin as he kicks his feet and waves his arms around in search for the surface.

It’s a couple of moments too long until he feels something wrap around his ankle. He almost dies a little inside until he realizes it is, in fact, Dazai’s bandage-wrapped hand.

Once he breaches the surface and chokes on the water in his lungs- can he really start to focus on everything around him.

He’s kicking his legs because fucking hell the water is deep. He can feel two hands that aren’t his own trying and failing to push his drenched auburn hair out of his eyes, but can’t quite make out exactly what Dazai’s saying to him. 

“Fuck, fucking fuck!” Chuuya curses, blinking salt water out of his eyes as he sees Dazai’s big brown ones staring at him in shock, “I’m so sorry!”

“You jumped in with me!” Dazai shouts loudly in his face, laughing like an idiot, “How romantic!”

“Shut the fuck up! I pushed you in, idiot!” Chuuya wants to cry, “How the hell is any of this romantic?!”

When he said he wanted to give Dazai a ‘push’ in the right direction, this isn’t what he meant!

Dazai doesn’t seem to mind for some odd reason, “Is it considered a double suicide if one was trying to murder the other?”

“Quit spouting your bullshit! We’re gonna die!” Chuuya isn’t sure he can breathe correctly.

“Chuuya,” Dazai brushes his arm up the redhead’s shoulder, though Chuuya can already tell he’s worn out from treading water for this long. The boat is far off now, “I promise, we won’t die.”

Chuuya’s mouth twists in agony, “I might not die, but you will! Your skinny legs won’t hold you up for long! Plus, you’ll get hypothermia— there’s no damn meat on your bones!”

Dazai has the gall to look offended, “I can swim!”

“All night?!”

“It won’t be all night!” 

Chuuya looks around; the moon reflects off the black water, there’s salt burning his nose as water keeps lapping in his face. Fucking hell, there’s probably— oh god, “We’re gonna get eaten by sharks!”

Dazai blinks thrice.

“...”

Chuuya’s heart drops, “Oh fuck!”

Dazai takes a deep breath and buries himself in the water. 

It takes a moment of silence, but Chuuya stares into the now dark abyss in front of him to realize that Dazai isn’t intending on coming back up.

“Oh my god,” Chuuya curses, “I hate you so much—“ He dunks himself underwater, feeling around until he finds Dazai’s shoulder to rip him back to the surface.

Dazai starts coughing when he inhales oxygen and a little bit of ocean water, “Chuuya, how dare you! I’d rather drown than let the sharks eat me! That sounds like the most painful death!”

“I’m not letting you leave me alone out here!” Chuuya splashes Dazai, shutting him up before looking around again. 

Fuck, what a mess he got them in.

—

Back on the boat, Kouyou is laughing as she watches Yosano get on her knees, letting Kouyou dump a shot's worth of alcohol into her mouth.

At the rate they're going, Yosano is going to keep her up all night. 

“Dolphin!” Kunikida yells from the side, startling Kouyou. 

Yosano stumbles to her feet, yelling ‘Where!’ over and over again as Kouyou squints in the direction Kunikida is pointing.

Not just one dolphin— it looks like there are two…

Uh, people? 

“Oh my god!” Kouyou yells, heart rate spiking, “It’s Chuuya! And— Dazai!” She turns to see Yosano’s wide eyes, “Akiko!”

“Holy shit-“ Yosano murmurs, turning to find her dad.

“Woah,” Kunikida stands in his stupor, “They’re going full Titanic, huh?”

Sasaki slaps him on the arm, “Stop it,” She hisses, eyes wide with panic, “We need to get him out!”

“Stop the boat!” Kouyou cries out, gripping her fiancée's shoulder white knuckled.

She can hear Ranpo dropping his fifth plate of cheese and crackers on the floor of the boat with a dull thud.

“Dad—“ Yosano spots Fukuzawa, who’s watching the two boys get further and further out.

“The cruise line won’t stop, it’s too shallow.” He looks nervously over at Kouyou’s mother, who looks like she’s about to faint, “But they have called harbor rescue to get them as soon as possible.”

“Fuck,” Shirase says, biting his knuckles.

Kouyou looks out into the distance, the boats too far to see them anymore.

Chapter Text

“What was that?” Chuuya wheezes, continuing to kick his legs in order to keep his head above the water. 

It touched his leg again. Something. He might be hallucinating, after all, it feels like they’ve been treading water for hours, even though it’s hardly been ten minutes. 

The water is just so dark and so definitely infested with sharks. 

“Sorry,” Dazai gives him a pained upturn of the lips. His cheeks are pink with exertion. God, and it makes Chuuya feel bad. This is his fault. “You keep getting in my way.”

Chuuya scowls, and the guilt immediately dissipates, splashing Dazai and causing the brunette to choke on salt water, “Do you want to die? Because I’ll get to you before the sharks or water ever could—“

Dazai’s eyes light up with mirth, lips glistening with water as he opens them to respond.

“Actually, no, shut the fuck up.” Chuuya cuts him off, water lapping into his mouth, “I don’t want to know the answer to that.”

He’d probably say something stupid like ‘That’s a much better way to die!’ … less painful, whatever, Chuuya doesn’t want to hear it. 

Dazai pouts, but only for a moment. His eyes slide past Chuuya, and he lights up all over again, “Wait, there’s something behind you, Chuuya!”

His blood turns to ice, shoulders ridged, “Don’t say shit like that.” His face sours, unwilling to turn around, “Is it a boat? Or, oh god, is it coming closer?”

Please, he’s not ready to die. 

There’s so much he wants to see, so much he wants to do, things to tell people—

Oh no.

He’s going to die— single— next to the guy he was too chicken to confess his feelings to! Instead, he had to push him off the edge of a boat.

Way to fucking go, Chuuya.

“I think it’s a floaty thing.”

Chuuya blinks. 

The fuck?

He twists his arms, pivoting his body through the water to get a better view. 

“A buoy? Dazai—“ Chuuya grits his teeth, the current must have drifted their bodies near it. Wait. “You know what they say about that?! Sharks like to hang out near them because they attract fish. Those Aggregation Devices or some shit. What if—“

“Borrrrninnggg.”

He whips his head around to curse Dazai, but he’s already swimming past him toward the buoy. He looks pretty fucking stupid, kicking his feet like that and splashing Chuuya in the process. 

He can’t do anything but follow.

“Chuuya, I thought your tiny brain only had enough space for those silly sex health benefits. Ugh, now I’ll die having to listen to your Shark Week facts. You talk too much.”

“I don’t watch Shark Week!” A lie, whatever. “And my brain’s not tiny! Asshole.”

“Itty bitty,” Dazai huffs, most definitely out of breath as he hauls himself out of the water and onto the orange buoy. Chuuya swims to the other side, pulling himself up, too, as quickly as possible. No way is he going to be caught as dinner. 

That would just be embarrassing. 

“Keep your long legs to your own side,” Chuuya murmurs as Dazai slips his legs between the steel rods. One of his legs rests on Chuuya’s thigh, the other dangling into the water. 

It makes him nauseous.

He grabs Dazai’s calf, yanking it from the sea to put it on his other thigh. He’s seen the movies. Dazai just doesn’t know how to take his life seriously, so someone will have to do it for him. 

Dazai gives him an amused smirk. His chest still rises and falls quickly, “Thought I was supposed to keep my legs on my own side.”

Chuuya obviously ignores him. 

Instead, he giggles, borderline hysterically. Dazai’s face morphs into one of concern, but Chuuya dutifully ignores him.

“We’re in the water,” He says, like it’s just hitting him. He laughs again, and Dazai purses his lips, “This was not how tonight was supposed to go.”

“I think it was pretty romantic! Who jumps in the water to save someone,” Dazai ponders, humming, “Definitely someone stupid; definitely only Chuuya stupid.” 

Chuuya’s laugh feels tight, "Yeah, well, I bet Sasaki would do the same.”

“Not,” Dazai’s brow twitches in what looks like well-concealed irritation, and he doesn’t really know why he’d do that. “Is that your favorite topic tonight? This is the second time in the past fifteen minutes you’ve brought her up.”

Chuuya’s lips press into irritation of his own. Dazai’s mood just went from one hundred to zero in a matter of seconds. What the hell. It’s not like Dazai has been bringing Sasaki up this whole month. 

“What’s wrong with that?” He scoffs, mildly dizzy from the rocking. Water laps against the edge of their floaty from the soft breeze. It’s not a warm breeze either, not when he’s soaked completely through his clothes. “That’s the whole point.”

Dazai looks off into the distance, avoiding eye contact. He shrugs his shoulders, and Chuuya’s really tired of this whole roundabout deal of theirs. It’s not good for his health or his heart. 

“I don’t think I’d get back with her.”

Huh?

Chuuya’s heart beats a little faster. 

Why not?

“Tell me,” Dazai begins before Chuuya has the chance to ask why. His eyes are dark, like onyx. Like the black ocean water sucked the light out of them. If the sun were out, he’s sure they would be golden like honey. “Why did you leave Shirase? It’s not like he cheated on you. Like, how Sasaki did with me.”

Now it’s Chuuya’s turn to look away. To their right, farther in the distance, is an art gallery. The dim lights make it shine in the dark night. It’s one Kouyou had told him about.  

Something she wanted to visit that they never had the chance to do. Perhaps she forgot. A wedding is a lot to plan, after all.

“I, ah, marriage. We talked about it a lot.” Chuuya shrugs, still avoiding eye contact with Dazai. He feels very put on the spot because– well, because everyone should want that. Marriage, middle school sweethearts, children, the ‘white picket fence’ dream life. “We never argued, never had a bad day. It was beautiful, you know, what everyone would wish for.”

“…”

It’s silent for a moment. A long moment, it feels like, but in reality, it couldn’t be more than twenty seconds before Dazai speaks again.

“So why don’t you want it?”

He shrugs again, turning back to look Dazai in his eyes. He’s not judging. He looks more… confused than anything. 

“No spark, explosion? Whatever, don’t make fun of me.”

Dazai’s eyes widen a little, his hands coming up in a quick surrender at the redhead’s defensive tone. It shakes the whole buoy, and he grips the steel between them in order not to slip, “I wasn’t. I mean, I get it.”

Now it’s Chuuya’s turn to look at Dazai with confusion.

Who wouldn’t want that? 

Chuuya’s just weird. Or, something's wrong with him. 

Dazai purses his lips, deciding how to explain himself. Though, shouldn’t Chuuya be the one explaining? “Well— you're anything but peaceful.”

“Hey—!”

“Ai ai,” Dazai silences him, “I’m not done.” His eyes roll dramatically, and it’s as irritating as it is endearing. “I’m saying. You’re bright, loud,” Dazai tilts his head with a small smile. It makes Chuuya's heart stutter, “Like a forest fire, but in a way that’s captivating. Not destructive. You need something to feed it, to grow. But like, you don’t really need anything because you already take up all the space when you're in the room.” Dazai’s brows knit, like he’s concentrating, “I’m, eh, bad with words. I’m not, obviously, I’m actually great with them. Just not when they correlate with my emotions.”

Chuuya takes a deep, shaky breath. He knows, gosh, he knows Dazai is terrible at expressing his emotions. 

It makes what Dazai’s trying to say all the better. Real. 

“What I’m trying to say is— fires need something to keep them burning. You feel you need someone to match keep it alive. Someone whom you can express yourself with, yell at, joke, and grow with.” Dazai’s lips are thin, his cheeks definitely look red, but maybe Chuuya’s seeking things. It’s dark out here, after all. “Like me,” he whispers. It’s so quiet that Chuuya almost misses it.

Instead, he does hear it. And his brain short-circuits.

Isn’t that true, though? 

Dazai is the one who always butts heads with him. Gives and takes all the same. Their back-and-forth banter, arguments, whatever it is. The challenges, sex—

It feels like something. Yes, like a fire growing. He doesn’t know where it leads. It’s new, it’s unpredictable. 

And that’s exactly what Chuuya has been looking for. 

He felt it the first day they met, and every day they’ve been in Greece. 

He loves it. Loves Dazai. 

But…

He can’t help but ask—

“What about Sasaki?” He grimaces a little after the words leave his mouth, especially when Dazai’s expression changes from nervous to annoyed in a matter of seconds, “I mean. Why did you want her back? For so long?”

Dazai shifts, eyes fluttering as he chuckles, “Wow, Chuuya, really pushing me out of my comfort zone tonight, mh?”

Chuuya flushes, waving a hand around as his other holds Dazai’s leg on top of his own, “You don’t have to answer! I was just wondering!” He sputters. 

“No, no, I guess you deserve it since you jumped in here after me—“

“After I pushed you in!”

Dazai flicks his wrist dismissively, “It’s okay, I know you just wanted some alone time with me. Next time, just ask, sweetheart." He winks, and the name warms Chuuya’s face, but he knows Dazai’s only saying all this to put off his last question.

And that’s fine. Chuuya can wait. It’s not like they have anything to do other than stare at each other until rescue comes. 

Though it doesn’t take long. Dazai purses his lips only ten seconds later when he realizes Chuuya won’t take the bait. 

“I know you think it’s stupid.” Dazai starts, startling Chuuya. “That I wanted her back.”

Chuuya can’t deny it because, really. She cheated on Dazai. 

“It’s just,” Dazai shrugs uncomfortably, eyes flickering away. Chuuya subconsciously squeezes Dazai’s leg, “She’s the only person who’s ever loved me.” Dazai laughs loudly, humorless, “Not enough, apparently. Since she cheated on me, but still. It’s the most I’ve got out of someone who isn’t forced to like me.”

Chuuya bites his cheek, unable to take his eyes off Dazai’s side profile. He can understand. Dazai just wants to feel loved, to have someone to love. More than a friend or family member. No matter the hurt they’ve given him in the past. But he— he loves Dazai. He’d never intentionally hurt him. 

“I’m not being forced to like you.” Chuuya leans slightly forward, feeling the need to really tell Dazai because he deserves to know. To feel loved. “I lo—“

“Aren’t you?” Dazai finally looks at him, tilting his head, “We’re fake dating. And you hated me not even twenty days ago.”

“I-“ Chuuya’s lips thin in frustration, “I don’t think I’ve ever actually hated you. I was just scared.”

They’re both forced into honesty tonight, huh?

“Why?”

Well, that’s the easiest question tonight. 

Chuuya smiled, it’s bitter and fond all at the same time, “That night, when we met— It was the first time I’ve ever felt that spark I’ve been longing for. And it scared me.”

Because Chuuya found what he was looking for in his relationship with Shirase years and years later. Found it in someone else. 

Dazai’s eyes flash with an emotion he can’t quite understand. He pushes his wet bangs off his forehead, giving Chuuya a small, private smile that squeezes his chest. “I was, too, those shitty things I said to Ranpo. It was only because I was scared that I met someone I could see myself loving, and you had slipped away that easily. I didn’t think I was capable of being loved back that easily.”

God, Chuuya’s blood rushes loudly in his ears. Have they really been this stupid? It’s been over a year, and if they could get out of their asses, this could have been a whole lot easier. 

And that’s truly a confession.

All of this has been, in its own kind of way.

“You feed my fire,” Chuuya whispers, a call back to their conversation not even five minutes ago. 

Dazai’s eyes light up, the buoy rocks gently, “Do I?”

Chuuya grins, feeling so happy. This is what he wanted. He wanted Dazai to want him back— and he does. 

He really does. 

What’s one more confession? Right?

“I quit medical school.” Chuuya blurts, “I figure if we’re being so honest, I might as well tell someone. You can be the first, before my parents kill me with their disappointment if the sharks don’t beat them.”

Dazai smirks. It’s flamboyant, all-knowing, and so handsome. “You finally did it?”

Huh?

Chuuya blinks, “What? What do you mean?”

“You told me, back when we first met, how much you hated it. Poetry, you wanted.”

Chuuya feels weird. Seen in a way he didn’t think he would with Dazai. It was such a short topic that came up. How— “How do you remember that?” He asks, slightly breathless. 

Dazai’s eyes search his face, “It was important.”

Important.

A laugh bubbles out of Chuuya’s throat forcefully. Holy shit, he really loves Dazai, “You’re ridiculous. I love it.”

Dazai grins, but Chuuya beats him to it.

“Promise me, if we make it out of here alive, we’ll go see the art gallery.” Chuuya turns his head toward it, shining in the distance.

Dazai turns to look as well, “You into art?”

“Kouyou is,” He purses his lips, suddenly feeling nervous, “I just like the people. Seeing them. Watching—“

“Sounds kinda creepy to me.”

Chuuya whips his head to look at Dazai. He’s got such a pretty smile, it’s not fair. “Oi, I mean the hand holding. Dates, being in love. Proposals and whatever. It’s sweet, you know.”

Dazai looks back at the art gallery, seemingly contemplating before opening his mouth, “You’re such a sappy romantic, Chuuya.” he giggles, and Chuuya has to refrain from punching him in the arm. “You like big romantic gestures?”

Chuuya raises a brow as Dazai looks at him again. He waits to see if the question is rhetorical or if Dazai will make fun of him. He deems it a genuine question. “I like it when people do things to make the ones they care about feel loved. It could be small things, like a kiss on the cheek that feels private, just for that person. Or you know, jumping out of a moving train to profess your love.”

Dazai’s laugh comes unexpectedly, shaking his head fondly, “You’re something, huh, Chuuya,” and before Chuuya can get irritated, Dazai adds, “I like that about you.” He hums, “Like how your parents will take you to Paris every year, just because they know it makes you happy.”

Chuuya blinks, smile twitching, “Huh? You know about that?”

Dazai shrugs, “You go out of the way for the people you love.”

Chuuya hums, looking back at the gallery. His cheeks feel hot. 

“I promise,” Dazai breaks the silence, “we’ll go to the gallery. A date.”

Chuuya looks back at Dazai. His skin is dry now, hair still wet and a little frizzy. The bandages around his neck are loose, and Chuuya thinks he looks perfect. 

He could kiss him.

Chuuya leans forward, just a little. Enough for Dazai’s smile to twitch, seemingly getting the hint.

He leans forward as well, a bandaged hand coming up to push a wet auburn strand from Chuuya’s cheek. His heart pounds as he closes his eyes.

It’s perfect, it’s—

Instead of a soft press of lips against his own, the sound of a helicopter buzzing overhead breaks the silence. A bright spotlight shines on them. 

The buoy shakes with the force of the wind, and Chuuya jumps back ever so slightly. He feels disappointed, but he also feels so relieved. 

Not just because rescue is here. No, Dazai wants him. He can have this. 

Finally. 

“Down here!” Chuuya yells, waving his hands around like a crazy person, though he’s sure rescue has already spotted them. If Dazai’s legs weren’t on him, he’d have probably fallen off by now.

He looks down at Dazai, smiling widely. Dazai’s face flashes with nerves, but the smile he gives back to Chuuya is reassuring. 

They can have this. 

Only seconds later, the sling drops next to them. Chuuya scrambles to grab it and hands one wrap to Dazai. Those long legs remove themselves from him, making his thighs cold as the wind hits him.

They quickly strap themselves in, jumping away from the buoy as the sling begins to lift higher. 

Their bodies press into each other’s. Clothes still wet and clinging to their bodies, but it’s warm where their torso presses into each other. He can feel Dazai’s heart beating like crazy against his own.

His hands grip Dazai’s shoulders tightly, and Dazai’s hands wrap around his waist just as quickly. God, they are safe, and he’s so sure of them now. They don’t need to ‘fake’ it anymore. It’s real, and they both feel the same way.

Dazai makes a startled noise in the back of his throat, tearing Chuuya away from his thoughts. He looks up questioningly at Dazai, just to see the brunette squeezing his eyes shut tight.

“What the hell?” Chuuya yells so he can be heard above the helicopter. His hair is whipping in his face uncomfortably, legs tangled with Dazai’s. “What’s wrong?” He squeezes Dazai’s shoulders tighter to emphasize his question.

“I don’t like heights!” 

Chuuya takes a second to let that sink in. 

“Huh?!” He subconsciously pulls Dazai closer, trying to make him feel a little safer, though their bodies are already pressed as close as possible, “But it feels like flying! What about the plane ride here?!” He loves the feeling. He wishes he could fly. 

“That’s the problem!” Dazai looks a little green now, barely cracking his eyes open to look down at Chuuya, “I hate that feeling. I have a routine when I fly,” he swallows, and Chuuya can see his Adam’s apple dip with it, “headphones, eyemask, sleeping pills, the works. I can’t— ah, no.”

His eyes are squeezed shut again, and one of Chuuya’s few regrets comes to his mind at that moment.

The cookie he tried to steal from Dazai during the ride to Greece. Not a pleasant memory, but—

That English song Chuuya heard in his headset. 

What was it?

Wannabe, the Spice Girls. Yes! 

Chuuya nods, determined now, even as Dazai’s arms around him feel like they are trying to squeeze the life out of him. 

God, he doesn’t sing often. 

“If you want my future,” He starts singing, “forget my past.” Is that how it goes? “If you wanna get with me, better make it fast!”

Dazai’s eyes blow wide open, and he looks down at Chuuya. Definitely confused. 

Chuuya continues, “Now don’t go wasting my precious time! Get your act together and we’ll be just fine—“

“How do you know my serenity song?” Dazai questions. He looks mortified, and Chuuya can’t lie and say it doesn’t give him confidence.

“Don’t worry about that!” Chuuya grins. 

“I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want—“

Dazai squeezes his eyes shut again, but he sings this time, with Chuuya. “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want—“

“I wanna,” Chuuya laughs, and Dazai sings the next line—

“I wanna,”

“I wanna,” Chuuya continues and they sing the next part together, “I wanna really, really, really wanna ‘zig-a-zig’ ah”

“Hell yeah!” Chuuya laughs, head thrown back. Dazai still looks like death, but he’s cracked a nervous smile. Eyes shining with someone loving as he looks into Chuuya’s own.

And it’s perfect. 

“Thank you!” Chuuya waves the taxi driver goodbye as he follows Dazai out of the backseat. 

They are home. 

Thank fuck. 

They are each wrapped in those plastic thermal blankets the medical team gave them. It helps a lot. Their clothes are still wet, but at least their body heat is trapped in the blankets.

He follows Dazai into the house. It’s dark and quiet. Like everyone’s asleep.

They need to stay silent. 

Though the loud crash of Dazai’s wet socks slipping on the tiles of the living room makes Chuuya burst out laughing.

He tries to hold his breath, cover his mouth with his hand, and grab Dazai’s shoulder at the same time.

Fuck! It’s so much harder to be quiet when they need to be.

“Shut the fuck up,” Chuuya whisper-hisses in between giggle fits. Dazai’s looking up at him like a wounded animal from the floor, and it only causes Chuuya to laugh harder as he drops the thermal blanket to try and help Dazai back to his feet.

“I feel betrayed!” Dazai whines as Chuuya has to shush him, “Chuuya’s being so mean to me—ack!”

They both slip this time when Chuuya’s own socks slip as he tries to lift Dazai off the floor. He drops on top of the brunette, knocking the wind out of him.

This time, Dazai laughs, Chuuya has to cover the other’s mouth. His lips are in a wide grin as he watches Dazai from under him, crumpled on the ground with that stupid thermal blanket tangled in his limbs. His eyes are crinkled around the corners from his laughing. 

Chuuya’s mind can’t stop going to the same conclusion every time he looks at Dazai.

This is perfect. I love him so much. 

“Come on,” Chuuya giggles. He moves down to take his wet socks off. Then, without permission, takes Dazai’s off. The brunette makes a surprised squeaking noise, but doesn’t protest. 

It takes a few more minutes, but they eventually make it out of the living room and into the kitchen. 

“I’m starving,” Dazai stretches his long arms above his head before swinging open the cabinet. “What about you, Slug?”

Chuuya can’t help the small smile that tugs on his lips. This time, when Dazai calls him that stupid nickname, it doesn’t feel condescending. It feels sweet, like playful banter. Especially in the way he says it. It’s fond. 

“Cookies?” Chuuya says. Dazai turns, looking over his shoulder at him with a smirk.

“Sounds perfect.”

Just like this whole night, Chuuya thinks. Just like the first night they met. When they ate that cookie together on the couch and felt something real for the first time in a long time. 

It takes a few minutes, but Dazai lights up when he finds a pack of cookies. He reads the label. Stupidly cute of him, especially when he gets more excited telling Chuuya it’s peanut-free.

Dazai takes one out of the package, splitting it in half.

He’s leaning his lower back against the countertop. His head is tilted, bandages beginning to unravel, and a very inviting smirk on his face as he holds half of the cookie towards Chuuya. 

How can he resist? 

He steps forward, stopping right in front of Dazai, and looks up at him. 

His heart is beating rapidly, and his stomach flutters when Dazai pops half the cookie in his own mouth. 

Chuuya watches his lips. Watches Dazai lick them, and smirks because he knows Chuuya can’t look away. 

It’s not until Dazai’s free hand lifts his chin with a ghostly touch– gingerly holding it with his thumb and index finger– that his organs explode with the butterflies that were trapped inside them. The way Dazai’s eyes look so full and sinful at the same time. 

He wants to devour Dazai— wants Dazai to devour him even more. 

It’s not like any of the other times they held each other. Those were strictly for show, and the sex wasn’t meant to be loving. A beneficial transaction, perhaps. 

But right now, when Dazai whispers at him to open his mouth, it feels anything but forced or transactional. 

It feels raw and even loving.

So of course, just as he did a year ago- he’ll do it again. Though this time doesn’t feel as scary as it did back in Dazai’s penthouse. 

His breath stutters when his jaw unhinges. Dazai’s thumb runs across his bottom lip, his other hand coming up to place the cookie on his tongue. 

Before he can taste the sugar on his tongue, though, Dazai’s eyes flash with something that Chuuya can only call mischief. 

Before he can react, Dazai rubs the cookie across his bottom lip, smearing chocolate all over it. A few crumbs fall onto the floor between them, and Chuuya’s ready to grab Dazai’s wrist and throw him off of him.

Before Chuuya can do that, the cookie hits his tongue, and Dazai closes his jaw with the figures on his chin.

“Whoa,” Dazai has the gall to make his eyes wide with innocence. Enough Chuuya would even believe him if he didn’t see the intent behind Dazai’s eyes moments prior. “Chuuya’s such a messy eater.” He whispers.

Chuuya chews the cookie in his mouth, glaring daggers at Dazai, but never stepping back because the hand that was on his chin had moved up to cup his cheek. He’s frozen like a statue- hypnotized by Dazai’s stupid handsome everything. 

“You got a little something there.” The thumb on his cheek moves, pressing into the corner of his mouth, and now Chuuya starts to understand the intention behind Dazai’s actions.

He smirks, grabbing Dazai’s wrist to feel the fluttering of Dazai’s pulse beneath drying bandages. “Want to try some?” 

Dazai smiles brightly, and Chuuya might explode.

“Don’t mind if I do,” He whispers, leaning forward. The hand on Chuuya tilts his head as Chuuya’s lashes flutter shut with anticipation.

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. 

And Dazai does. It starts out slow. Not a desperate clash of teeth and tongue, though it feels all the same. Desperate and wanting.

It’s a soft press of lips gliding over each other. A smear of chocolate that Chuuya never cared about, but tastes so sweet from Dazai’s lips.

It’s not too long until a hand finds his waist and a tongue slides against his lower lip. A soft sound of delight hums against Chuuya at the taste of chocolate Dazai steals from him.

It’s also a silent question that Chuuya has every intention of answering.

He parts his lips with a quiet gasp, and that’s where it gets a little messy.

His gasp turns into a surprised groan when Dazai’s tongue plunges into his mouth, and the grip on his waist turns iron. Fire pools in the base of Chuuya’s stomach, and just like second nature- he jumps and Dazai catches his thighs.

His legs wrap around Dazai’s thin waist. Their teeth clank, and they pull away just a moment for a breath of air. 

Dazai’s pupils are dilated, lips swollen, and cheeks flushed. There’s a small smudge of chocolate in the corner of his mouth, and Chuuya can’t help his breathless smile. 

Dazai looks beautiful, even after a night in the sea. Though Chuuya’s sure he can’t say the same about himself. His hair is tangled into unforgivable knots around his clip, and the eyeliner he tried so hard on is bound to have smudged around his eyes. Then there’s the burning desire spread across his cheeks that won’t go away anytime soon. 

“We should sho—” Chuuya rasps, but Dazai has other plans. He surges in and captures Chuuya’s lips again in a searing kiss. It’s really not Chuuya’s fault when he can’t muffle the startled moan that rips from his throat, especially with their bodies pressed together. 

Though a second later, Dazai pulls away, and Chuuya’s frustrated huff is clear as he tries to chase the lips that leave him.

The chuckle Dazai gives him doesn’t make him feel any better.

“Shower?” Dazai whispers, the warmth of his breath fanning across Chuuya’s lips. 

He has to blink the haze out of his eyes, allowing them to focus on the man in front of him. “Yeah, together—“ a nervous flutter kicked Chuuya in the stomach when Dazai’s arms slip just an inch on his hold. He didn’t mean to say that in the end, and the last time he came up with the same proposition, he got rejected, “I— mean only if- well, you don’t have to. I know it’s not—“

“I want to,” Dazai leaves a wet kiss on his cheek before sending Chuuya an honest smile, “If you’re okay with that?” 

And that seems to be their theme tonight, right? 

Honesty. 

“I do,” He answers, breathless and hopeful. 

That’s all Dazai needs. He lifts Chuuya higher in his arms, hands squeezing his ass and lips already glued to his own.

He groans, one arm tight around the nape of Dazai’s neck as his other digs into brown hair. God, it’s not even been that long— but it feels so new and so passionate. 

He could drown in it.

Though the walk back is a bit less than perfect, that doesn’t matter. They bump into walls down the hall. Chuuya shushes Dazai and then laughs when his hip hits the door frame. 

His head throws back, and Dazai latches onto his neck, biting and licking his way up to his jaw. Chuuya’s organs flip on themselves as Dazai tosses him onto the end of the bed, now looking down at the redhead. 

His eyes flash like a predator finding its prey. Though instead of devouring Chuuya here and now like he might have wished, Dazai detaches their bodies and begins to shuck off his wet clothes. 

Chuuya quickly lifts onto his elbows to watch Dazai unbutton the crinkled, sea-ruined navy shirt, revealing unraveled bandages beneath.

That’s when Chuuya realizes— he’s going to see Dazai without his bandages for the first time. 

“Are you sure?” Chuuya voices, small and unsure after Dazai’s shirt is long gone and the bandages are being ripped off, revealing milky scars. “I can wait—“

Even if it’s his room they’re in, with his connected bathroom, and even if they had both agreed on a shower together. 

He doesn’t want to make Dazai uncomfortable. Not after such a nice night.

“I promise,” Dazai smirks, a slight shrug of one shoulder, “I want to shower together, Chuuya.”

Yeah, okay. Good.

Chuuya smiled, eyes lingering on Dazai’s own. He won’t look longer than necessary, won’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. 

Dazai’s comfortable with him, finally, and that’s all that matters.

They stare for a moment longer, but then Dazai clicks his tongue and shakes his head, “Though it’s a little hard if Chuuya doesn't get undressed.”

Oh, right. 

He should do that, shouldn’t he?

His face burns as he scrambles to get off the bed. Dazai’s laugh tickles his ears as he fumbles with the buttons of his own top, before giving up halfway and pulling the shirt over his head.

By the time he’s free of the shirt, already working on the chains around his neck— Dazai’s stripped down to only boxers and has migrated to the shower.

He turns it on, feeling the temperature slowly warm. 

Once he’s stripped to his own underwear, he follows after Dazai. The brunette is turned from him. His back is clean of blemish besides a single mole. A space always covered with bandages. His arms, though, are blemished from wrist to elbow with tiny slits. Self-harm, undoubtedly. 

Had they begun after his mother had passed, because of his shit father, or maybe even both? 

He watches Dazai slip his underwear off and step into the shower. The water bounces off his broad shoulders and soaks his basically redried hair. 

Gorgeous, Chuuya thinks.

After they are both soaked in the steaming hot shower, bodies cleaned and sea water washed away— Dazai spends a good ten minutes with a bottle of expensive conditioner and two skilled hands gingerly untangling the clip from red hair.

Chuuya had offered to do it himself, but the brunette insisted. It’s not like he minds a little spa treatment once in a while, so instead of protesting any further, he spends the time tracing his fingers along Dazai’s bare chest.

It’s not often he gets to see it, and a question won’t leave his mind.

“Why do you cover your chest?” He finally asks into the silent bathroom. The only sound before had been shallow breaths and the splatter of water from the rainfall showerhead. “There’s nothing wrong with it.”

Dazai doesn’t flinch, nor do his hands still from their duty in Chuuya’s hair. “Hm,” His voice is soft, “I know.”

Chuuya’s brows crease as his thumb traces the ghost of a rib on Dazai’s side.

“It just feels more secure, I guess,” Dazai eventually explains, “It hides me? Who I am, so no one else can hurt me. Like— ah, if I keep my heart hidden, then no one can break it.” 

Chuuya frowns. Not looking up into Dazai’s eyes. He can tell, by the way Dazai’s arms keep working in his hair, that he is purposefully trying to keep Chuuya’s head down. 

Though, what does this mean now? Chuuya can’t help but think that Dazai’s finally letting him into his heart. Officially. 

He’s standing here, bare for Chuuya to tear it out.

He won’t, he really doesn’t want to. Ever. 

And Dazai is doing this— it’s more of a confession than anything else tonight. Isn’t it?

He can’t help his small, selfish smile. He rises on his feet, leaning forward until his lips kiss right where Dazai’s heart belongs under his chest. 

He’ll watch over it if Dazai lets him. 

At the contact, Dazai does stiffen this time. 

A moment after Chuuya parts, he hears Dazai clear his throat.

“Finished,” his voice sounds wet, and Chuuya finally can look up to see the golden clip between Dazai’s finger tips. 

Chuuya smiles widely, cupping Dazai’s cheek with his wet palm, “Thank you,” He whispers, and he’ll commit the delicate smile Dazai gives him in return to memory.

From there, Chuuya can’t be at fault for what happens next. He pulls Dazai down by the shoulders into a hungry kiss because—

Because Dazai is everything he could want. Everything he’s been dreaming of for years, and he wants Dazai to feel that with each press of lips, each grace of his tongue on the roof of his mouth, and teeth scraping his bottom lip. 

He wants Dazai to remember this night just as much as Chuuya will remember it himself. 

Their naked bodies pressed together as the water starts to cool overhead. They groan in unison as their erections rub against skin. They’re so close it’s almost as if they’ve been fused into one.

Not that Chuuya would complain. He wants to crawl into Dazai’s flesh just as much as he wants Dazai burrowed between his ribs. 

The fist that was tangled in his hair leaves in favor of turning off the shower. It’s an awkward stumble of uncoordinated limbs as they coax each other out of the shower. It takes a lot of kissing, hands on heated skin, and slipping on wet tiles before Chuuya gets his hands on a fluffy towel.

He can’t help but laugh into Dazai’s mouth as the brunette seems content on making the redhead's life more difficult than it should be. He’s bent backwards, his spine arched as his body is glued to the front of Dazai’s. His hands are trying to dry Dazai’s hair and back as much as possible, but Dazai’s life mission is to suck the soul from his mouth as of now. 

“Give me— Dazai!” Chuuya yells as the brunette pushes Chuuya down into the mattress. He’s still wet. Not soaked, but still. Not that he could do much with Dazai’s goals in mind. “You are such a pain in my ass!”

Dazai’s breathy chuckle hits his sternum as he trails kisses down to his naval. 

He squirms, breathless and rock hard as Dazai continues to assault his stomach with wet, hot kisses. It’s like his mouth is a brand, and his stupid wet bangs tickling his chest isn’t making it any easier to hold still. “Oh-kay,” He gasps, “Dazai, Dazai.”

“Hm?” The brunette hums, tilting his head up to look into Chuuya’s eyes. The usual bright honey eyes are near black with just an eclipse of color on the edges of his irises. They stay barely hidden behind long lashes with a wicked smile to accompany them.

“Either touch me where I want you to, or get off so I can properly dry my hair.”

A mistake, really, because Dazai does detach from his body, leaving him freezing in the aftermath. His gasp is telling enough to give the hint at how displeased he is with Dazai’s choice. He shouldn’t complain too much, though, because his hair feels like a wet mop on the top of his head.

He glares at Dazai, fairly weakly, assuming from the way Dazai grins. It’s not that Chuuya looks very intimidating right now, chest and cheeks flushed red, fluffy green towel in his hands, scrunching his hair, and a rock-hard erection waiting in his lap for Dazai to do something about it.

Unfortunately for him, although fortunate for his hair, Dazai seems content with being distracted by his nightstand.

“Oi,” Chuuya tries to look over Dazai’s shoulder, “What are you doing?”

Dazai turns around with an innocent smile on his face, “Who, me?”

Chuuya scowls, ready to chuck the towel at Dazai, “Who the fuck else?”

“Spicy,” Dazai mumbled before laying his hands in front of them like a child proud of the painting they drew, ready to show their mom and get praise. Though the situations are completely different when Dazai’s a man, completely naked with an erection and a bottle of lube and a condom in hand, “Ta-da!”

Chuuya flushes even brighter than he was moments before, and this time, he actually does throw the towel, aiming for a headshot with the intent to kill. Instead, Dazai whines, and in the end, Chuuya’s hair doesn’t get to properly dry before the towel gets tossed to the side. 

Not before Dazai’s jumping on top of Chuuya with his lanky limbs and a laugh falling from his lips. 

But it doesn’t take them long to settle back into the mood they started with. Dazai gets comfortable sitting against the headrest, and Chuuya gets comfortable in his lap. Dazai’s cupping his cheeks, smiling with closed lips, and forehead pressed to Chuuya’s own. 

It’s sweet. And it has Chuuya’s heart swooning for not the first time tonight. 

“Can I please kiss you again?” Dazai whispers into the small space between them. 

“Please?” Chuuya raises a teasing brow, but his hands tighten on Dazai’s biceps, “Are you getting soft, Dazai?”

His lip juts out into a small pout, leaning back until his head thuds into the headrest. “Maybe I’m just a gentleman,” One of his hands slid down Chuuya’s cheek to rest on the side of his neck.

Really, Chuuya can tell Dazai’s true intentions. Stalling. Memorizing the feel of skin on skin, finally clear of the other’s intentions.

The moment is the beginning of them. 

But Chuuya can only have so much patience, “Yes, yes,” His hand wraps around the base of Dazai’s nape to pull his head forward, “Kiss me, touch me, do anything you’d like. I don’t care, just hurry--“

Dazai seems to have had his fill of stalling also because now he’s on Chuuya, and it’s hot and all-consuming.

His hands don’t seem to know where to touch. They linger in his hair, on his arms, neck, cheeks, thighs—

And his lips, god, they make Chuuya’s world flip and his breath catch in his throat. They slot perfectly between his own with so much love. Chuuya can feel it, the burning desire of someone who’s certainly in love with you through just a single intense kiss. 

His eyes burn, so he squeezes them shut tighter as he presses deeper into the kiss.

His hips roll over the erection he’s sitting on, and Dazai groans low in the back of his throat. The sound goes straight to Chuuya’s core, sizzling with so much need. 

“Okay,” Chuuya’s voice comes out broken from lust as he breaks the kiss. Dazai tries to chase him and ends up landing a kiss on the corner of his mouth as Chuuya pants for oxygen. “Touch me, just touch me. Come on—“

Dazai chuckles, adjusting his grip on Chuuya’s thigh and lower back, “Isn’t that what I’ve been doing, sweetheart?”

His skin flushes. He’s not sure if it’s in irritation or from the nickname; perhaps both. “You- fuck you, you know what I mean—mph”

Chuuya can’t really complain too much now that his world's been spun again as Dazai slammed him onto his back against the mattress, his wet hair lying around him where he lay head toward the bottom of the bed with Dazai hovering over him, with lips trailing his neck and fingers digging into his waist.

He quickly wraps his legs around Dazai’s hips, pressing the base of his skull into the mattress as he closes his eyes.

“Ah ‘kay,” He whispers, back arching when Dazai stops to flick his tongue over one of his nipples, “That’s better.”

“Is it?” Dazai blows on his nipple, and it hardens, sending goosebumps down Chuuya’s arms as the brunette's thumbs dig into his abs.

“Well,” Chuuya smirks, and a shiver runs down his spine when he sees Dazai looking up at him from his chest. It has his legs involuntarily squeezing tighter around Dazai’s hips, “If you really want to know. It could be even better if you— no,” Chuuya doesn't mean to whine, but Dazai’s now sitting up abruptly, and his legs slip off those bony hips.  

“Oh?” Dazai grins, devilish, “How about here?” He asks, thumb pressing onto Chuuya’s other nipple, “Is that more to your liking, Your majesty?”

Chuuya’s stomach flutters, cheeks hot. He gets the game Dazai’s playing. Chuuya has no one to blame but himself, but— he feeds Chuuya’s fire, doesn’t he? 

He licks his lips, Dazai’s eyes flicker to it, his grin wavering for only a moment, and now Chuuya’s smirking,  “Getting warmer.”

Dazai’s eyes flicker back down to his body, over each curve and freckle. Chuuya feels ripped open. 

“Warmer, you say?” Dazai’s index joins his thumb to pinch the nipple in retaliation, causing Chuuya’s body to jolt in shock before it slides down the curve of his abs. “How about this?”

Chuuya’s back arches as his lithe fingers slowly travel all the way down to his navel, going around the erection that’s sitting- not so- patiently to be touched. Instead, he digs his thumb into the junction where Chuuya’s hip meets his groin.

His cock jumps, “Ah, yeah, keep going.”

Dazai chuckles, ducking down until he’s eye level with Chuuya’s cock. His chest and, more than likely, his face are beet red. “Okay… and this?”

His breath brushes over his erection, and he can’t hold back his groan in anticipation, though instead Dazai shifts a little lower. He places the flat of his tongue over Chuuya’s muscular thigh and licks a strip.

Chuuya whines, childishly, and Dazai has to press his lips into Chuuya’s skin to hide his smile. 

It doesn’t work. Not when he can feel it. 

“Dazai!” He’s not ashamed of the pout on his lips, “don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not,” his defensive, playful response doesn’t ease Chuuya in the slightest, “I’m just trying to admire all of you, love.”

Love.

Chuuya’s face burns, eyes widening as he covers them with his hands. Dazai sounded so sincere, catching Chuuya off guard. It’s not even fair. “You shitty—“

He should be admiring Dazai’s body. He truly loves it so much. Every scar and crazy bandaged tan line.  

Dazai ignores his terribly unromantic nickname in favor of gripping beneath both of Chuuya’s knees. He lifts and spreads both legs before settling between them.

“Look at me.” The words are breathed into the underside of his thigh. He does, because he can’t deny anything Dazai wants at this moment. He peeks behind his fingers, and Dazai’s already locked in his eyes. His lips trail the inside of his lifted thigh, thumbs rubbing circles at the inner side of his knees. Chuuya can’t do anything but watch.

The eye contact is intense, and the small nibble and licks making their way to his center are painfully slow and drawn out. 

Especially when Dazai hits the junction between his hip and groin again— cheek brushing against his balls, causing him to choke— moving over and onto the next thigh.

His protests fall on deaf ears, it seems.

It’s not until Chuuya’s panting from pent-up arousal, arm thrown over his eyes, and hips squirming that Dazai takes mercy on him.  

It comes in the form of a wet kiss to his leaking tip and a ghost-like flutter of a dry fingertip over his rim.

“There,” Chuuya chokes on a moan, arm coming off his eyes. It felt like the hotel, having a sense covered, intensifying the long-awaited touch. It makes his stomach flutter, “Fuck, hot. it's- hot.”

Dazai’s cheeks puff out, a light pink twinge on the apples of them, “Hot?” He smiles, “Chuuya’s still playing that silly game?”

“That means keep going,” He breathes, rolling his hips in front of Dazai’s face.

“Does it?” 

Chuuya’s eye twitches, but before he can voice his very rude opinion on Dazai’s timing to mess with him, a wet, lube-covered finger circles his rim twice before the tip of it presses into the ring of muscles. It sends him into a full-body shudder, clamping his legs around Dazai’s broad shoulders.

“Yeah,” He whines, sucking in his bottom lip as Dazai’s free hand wraps around his cock. He runs the flat of his tongue over the head before pressing the tip into his slit. The pad of his finger continues to tease in and out. “Fuck, Dazai.”

Dazai pops off, pausing his ministrations to look Chuuya in the eyes. Sapphire is stuck in that sappy honey color. “Remember when we first met?”

Oh gosh, right now?!

“Y-yeah?” Chuuya tries not to squirm too much when the finger starts to slide deeper, centimeter by centimeter. “What are you—“

“You can call me that again,” Dazai’s cheeks are about as red as Chuuya’s have been all night now. That alone makes him focus all his attention on Dazai’s next words, “My name.”

And that’s another indicator they’ve well surpassed the ‘fake dating’ category into a place Chuuya’s longed to make it to for weeks now, even before he knew it himself.

They can have this. Real love, no hiding it.

“Osamu,” Chuuya tests the feeling on his tongue; the reaction for Dazai is immediate. Sheepish smile, red across his chest to the tips of his ears, and wide, bright eyes. “Yeah, I like that, Osamu.”

Dazai’s smile disappears the next moment, along with his whole finger and Chuuya’s cock. It’s crazy to Chuuya how he can go from blushing about Chuuya saying his name to sucking the life out of him seconds later. 

It punches a brutal moan from his throat, and he’s sure tonight won’t be a night where anyone in the house sleeps well.

Good thing the wedding isn’t tomorrow. 

And with that, things don’t seem to slow down from there. Finally. 

It’s a real test on Chuuya’s part. A combination of self-control and focus. Self-control as to not buck his hips into the back of Dazai’s gargling, tight throat. He keeps his hand iron-gripped into Dazai’s hair, which has Dazai’s moaning vibrations rolling in waves up his spine. Seriously, the bastard might actually kill him this time, and it won’t be from peanuts. 

Then there’s focus. If he doesn’t, then he’ll cum right down Dazai’s throat-

With a third finger sliding its way to join the others curling in his hole, the hollowing of Dazai’s cheeks, and the tip of his cock hitting the back of his throat.

Instead, he gasps broken strings of praises, curses, and Dazai’s name as if that could save him.

Yeah, it’s quite the feat in itself not to fuck that pretty throat of his. 

Though it seems Dazai understands him more than he’d realized.

The brunette pops off just a moment later once all three fingers are buried as deeply as they can into Chuuya. It’s so forceful it punches a breath out of him, but he’s prepped enough now, it’s only a burn and stretch with no pain. 

“Do it, Chuuya,” Dazai’s broken voice blows away all of that self-control and focus Chuuya had built in the last ten minutes. “Fuck my throat, I can handle it.” 

“Daz—“

“I’ll tap your thigh if it’s too much.” 

Well, how could he say no?

“Fuck, Osamu,” He grip tightens on brown hair, and he feels Dazai’s neck lose all tension. There’s no more control in his own motions, allowing Chuuya to use him just as a hole to fuck into. His hazy, tear-stricken eyes flutter shut, those angry red, abused lips part, jaw unhinged, and perfect for Chuuya to indulge. “You’re so beautiful like this, you know that, right?”

One brown eye cracks open, a small sound of affirmation leaves his throat, and Chuuya can’t wait anymore. 

He takes hold of his cock with his free hand, gently guiding the tip into Dazai’s mouth. He quickly covers his teeth, pressing the flat of his tongue against the base. 

Dazai’s nostrils flare for air as Chuuya slowly presses his head until he hits the back of Dazai’s throat. He can feel it constrict, his cheeks hollowing, and those three fingers that are buried deep inside Chuuya shift up until pressed against his prostate.

The only warning Dazai gets is Chuuya’s ragged intake of breath and nails dug into his scalp. He makes a noise, and Chuuya, takes that as his sign to move his fucking body.

He yanks his wrist back until only the tip is gripped tightly between Dazai’s lips, and at the same time, his hips press deep into the mattress. It’s only a whisper of a second before he slams back into Dazai’s throat.

It’s a choked moan noise that rips through Dazai’s throat, but he keeps his hand planted firmly on Chuuya’s thigh. No tapping, so Chuuya has no intention to stop yet. 

He’s hyperaware of the hand, just in case. Though most of his focus is on the three fingers rubbing against his prostate at the same time, he fucked into the back of Dazai’s throat over and over again.

“Yeah, yes,” He groans, eyes locked on the tears squeezed out of the corner of Dazai’s eyes. Beautiful, I love him so much. “Just like that, yes fuck Osamu. So good—“ He can feel himself quickly tumbling toward his release. 

There’s so much feeling everywhere. It shoots straight through his core up to his fingertips. There’s sweat trickling down the back of his neck from his hairline, and a sheet of it covering his chest and abdomen. God, he’s about to come.

He shifts his pace and hold on Dazai. It’s not nearly enough for anyone to notice. Dazai does, though. The brunette makes a terribly endearing noise, gripping Chuuya’s thigh, fucking him with his fingers, and dropping his head until the tip of Chuuya’s cock slams into the back of his throat.

That’s all it takes for Chuuya’s abs to harden and his eyes to slam shut with an intense wave of pleasure. His head drops back, jaw unhinged on a broken moan as he cums down Dazai’s throat.

He wasn’t going to. He was going to ease up to come on his face, but, of course, Dazai could tell. And he sure didn’t let him, but that’s nothing Chuuya can dwell on now. 

So instead, he rides out such an intense orgasm until he’s spilt every drop into Dazai’s throat, nearly overstimulated. 

“Holy shit,” Chuuya squirms, and Dazai’s fingers easily slip from inside him. He feels empty, but sated for now. He quickly cups Dazai’s cheeks with both hands, lifting his head off his softening cock. “Come here, Osamu. Come on.”

Dazai looks fucked out, and he hasn’t even been touched yet. His eyes are glossy, his lips and chin covered in saliva and excess cum that hadn’t made it down his throat. His lashes flutter, chest heaving.

Worn out.

“Come here, baby,” Chuuya encouraged again. Dazai’s cheeks heat, a small squeak leaving his throat as the few indicators that he’s here, present in this moment. Chuuya chuckles at his reaction, and finally, with his help, Dazai crawls on top of Chuuya. 

He leans up, meeting Dazai halfway in a lazy, slick kiss. It’s uncoordinated, but just as amazing as any other kiss they’ve shared today.

“You did so well,” Chuuya whispers into Dazai’s mouth. He rubs soothing circles on his cheeks for just a moment before pulling back. 

He glances down, wincing when he sees Dazai’s dark red erection. It looks near painful, and dripping with precome. 

Dazai hadn’t even tried to relieve himself of any tension that whole time, but Chuuya doesn’t mind doing it for him. 

He’s more than happy to. 

He looks back at Dazai, whose eyes are closed, leaning against the hand cupping his cheek. Chuuya can tell he’s focusing on slowing his breathing down to a normal pace. 

“Hey,” Chuuya gently slaps some life into Dazai’s cheeks, “You here with me?”

“…” It’s a delayed reaction, but a reaction nonetheless when Dazai nods, choppy, “Never left.”

Yeah right. Chuuya smirks.

“I’m going to touch you, okay?”

“Please,” Dazai moans breathless, thighs tightening against Chuuya’s hips.

He doesn’t have the headrest to lean against— since they are faced the other way— so he removes both hands from Dazai’s cheeks, much to the brunette's protests. He uses one hand to hold himself up on the mattress and the other to wrap around Dazai’s cock. 

Dazai whines, eyes finally opening to stare at Chuuya through wet lashes. Chuuya uses the precome as makeshift lube, twisting his fist and pressing the heel of his palm into the base of Dazai’s cock. 

Dazai groans around a pout, eyes flickering down to Chuuya’s ministrations before they look back up to Chuuya, “You don’t, ah-mm, have to look so smug about it.”

Chuuya’s head throws back a little, with the force of his laugh. His thumb digging into the slit. “You really this hard just ‘cuz you got your face fucked? Hmm?”

He can’t really tease much because he can feel his own dick coming to life beneath where Dazai sits on his lap. He’s sure the other can feel it.

“Don’t get it twisted,” Dazai feels the need to preserve his dignity, but it doesn’t work with the way he’s desperately bucking up into Chuuya’s hand, “It’s because Chuuya is the one fucking my face.”

Well, if Chuuya wasn’t hard a second ago, he sure is now-

and Dazai seems to take notice, if that smug smirk has anything to do with it.

“Let go,” Dazai leans forward, pressing a delicate kiss to the corner of Chuuya’s mouth. The action distracts him so much that he lets out a confused noise when Dazai squeezes his wrist and tugs. “Chuuya.”

“Wha—“ Chuuya blinks, looking down between them and letting go of Dazai’s erection like it burnt him, “What are you doing? Why?” He knows his voice sounds pouty, but he really wanted to watch Dazai’s face this close up when he came from his hand. 

Instead, Dazai smiles, pulling at Chuuya’s wrist until it’s in front of his mouth. He kisses the pulse, “Because I want to fuck you.”

Oh god. 

Okay.

He can’t tell what he loves more. A pathetic Dazai who basks in praise after he got his mouth fucked, or a Dazai who wants to take control in bed.

They’re both so fascinating and stunning in their own way.

“How do you want me?” Chuuya looks Dazai dead in the eyes, he watches as they dilate, and can practically see the hundred different positions that run through Dazai’s mind.

“Lie down,” Dazai whispers instead, a soft smile on his lips, “Do you trust me?”

Ah. Yes, this isn’t the first time Dazai’s asked him.

The answer? It’s easy.

“Yes.”

Dazai nods, smiling a little wider. He crawls off of Chuuya and gets comfortable lying on Chuuya’s pillows, still over the comforter. He taps the bedding next to him, an inviting gesture that Chuuya has no doubts about taking. 

He lies down on his back, just as Dazai is doing beside him. He can’t help the giddy smile on his lips as he stares up at the ceiling. He has no fucking clue what they are doing, but tonight has been perfect. 

Chuuya’s been longing for a relationship like this. He just didn’t know Dazai was where he’d find it. 

The unexpected, the range of emotions from burning anger to all-consuming love, and having no clue where anything will lead.

It’s nice, he thinks. 

Dazai’s arm sliding between his upper back and the mattress pulls him from his thoughts. He looks over to see Dazai on his side, rolling him to his own, so they face each other. 

His breath catches, and he puts his hand on Dazai’s chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. Their breaths mingle, bodies pressed to each other, and it’s so, so intimate. 

Dazai’s hand slides up so Chuuya’s lying on the junction of his elbow, fingers curling affectionately in red hair, “This okay?” He asks, and Chuuya thinks it’s more than okay. 

That it’s the most ‘love-making position’ they could have picked. 

Couldn’t he say it? The ‘I love you’ that’s been pressed in each kiss and touch tonight? He really wanted it to come from Dazai first. He was only supposed to push, but really— everything they’ve done tonight feels like one.

An, I love you.

So for now, he’ll settle on a “Yes.” He nods, pressing his face closer to Dazai’s. An invitation Dazai takes in full stride.

He pulls Chuuya closer with the hand pressed in his hair, meeting halfway into a devastatingly soft kiss. It’s slow and longing. A soft clicking sound as they come together and part, just to come together again. Slivers of wet tongues and sharp teeth pricking a bottom lip. 

Dazai’s other hand grips Chuuya’s hip, slowly sliding down until he grabs his thigh and lifts it onto his own hip. 

“Hang on,” The brunette shifts his body, turning to grab the lube and condom. Chuuya keeps his hand on Dazai’s shoulder, watching into the tight space between them as Dazai rolls the condom on and pumps himself a few times to spread the lube. 

“Let me,” Chuuya wraps his leg around Dazai tighter so their bodies have no space between them. Dazai holds onto his hip as Chuuya reaches behind himself to guide the other’s cock in the right direction.

It takes a moment, Dazai laughs softly at Chuuya’s frustrated huff, but once he’s lined correctly, he sinks down slowly.

His breath catches when the head pops through the ring of muscles. He looks up to see Dazai’s eyes shut tight. 

Maybe this is payback for the time Chuuya was forced into his own drawn-out arousal with no orgasm those weeks ago. 

“More,” Chuuya rasps, loud enough for Dazai to open his eyes and see Chuuya staring at him. He nods, shifting his own hips to press up into the redhead.

It forces strangled groans out of both of them. It feels hot being this close. 

Chuuya uses his hand that has been trapped between their bodies to use the headboard as leverage. 

It’s enough force for Dazai to bottom out. Finally. 

“Shit,” Chuuya whispers, adjusting his hips. His cock is pressed between their bodies, so every little movement adds friction.

He’s sweating—so much for a shower— and every inhale smells of it, and Dazai.

He’s fully encompassing all of Chuuya’s senses, and he can’t find it in him to dislike it one bit. Nothing about this is less than perfect. 

“Chuuya,” Dazai breathes shakily. His fingers flex in both Chuuya’s hair and on his hip, “Chuuya.”

“Yeah,” He nods, chin bumping into Dazai’s collarbone, “Okay, move. I’m ready.”

And Dazai does, it’s slow, but deep thrusts. They can feel every inch slide in and out. Chuuya uses his hand against the headboard to help.

Their bodies move in synchronized waves. Dazai up, and Chuuya down to meet in the middle. There’s a furrow of pleasure in Dazai’s brows, ragged puffs of air coming from his lips. 

Chuuya licks the sweat off his own lips, small whines leaving his mouth. It’s a lot. The feeling of being full, his cock rubbing with every movement. Shit, it feels like he’ll cum sooner than he expected.

At least he can tell Dazai is close beside him. After all, he still hasn’t finished once.

“Chu—ah fuck,” Dazai slams his hips up and then rolls. It takes Chuuya by surprise; he’s not lying next to Dazai anymore but crushed under him.

It feels so good from this angle. His back arches as much as Dazai’s body will let him, and he wraps his arms around the other’s neck for the sake of being close.

“Chuuya?” Dazai kisses his cheek, still thrusting his hips to meet with a loud slap of skin, “sweetheart?”

Chuuya’s toes curl, his mind focusing on the constant pleasure, but he blinks the haze away at Dazai’s questioning tone, “Mm?” He opens his eyes, “Yes? I— ‘m listening. What is it, Osamu?”

Whatever it is, he looks nervous to ask or say out loud. He shouldn’t be because Chuuya would do anything for him. 

“You’re mine,” His voice catches, and Chuuya looks at Dazai with wide eyes, “Right, Chuuya? For real?”

Oh. 

His heart stops a beat, just to start again, doubling the pace. 

He lets his fingers curl at the back of Dazai’s nape, and of course, it’s an easy answer. Just as when Dazai asked if he trusted him, “Yea— yes. Yes, I am.”

And Dazai wasn’t expecting the flood of relief that washed over him with such a response. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but hearing Chuuya say that— well, that’s all he wanted.

He surges down, drowning Chuuya in a heated kiss. The little redhead eagerly returns it. Their tongues dance, and Dazai hopes Chuuya can feel it in every breath.

The ‘I love you,’ he presses into it. 

He adjusts one elbow to hold himself up on the mattress, his other lifts Chuuya’s thigh for a better angle. From there it becomes a bit of a blur. 

It’s all harsh breaths, skin slapping against skin, a tight coil at his core, and wet ocean eyes rolling while sharp nails dig into his back.

Yes, yes, yes. Fuck—

His orgasm is like a bullet train with no intentions of stopping anytime soon. He’s speeding straight for it, and though he wants this moment— with Chuuya— to last longer, well, he needs this orgasm. 

“I’m gonna—“

“Please, fuck, yes,” Chuuya babbles, and he’s not sure the redhead really knows what he’s agreeing to. For Dazai’s orgasm, or his own?

Either way, Dazai will give it to both of them.

He wraps one hand around Chuuya’s cock between their bodies, and the reaction he gets is instant. He feels Chuuya jerk, a low moan dripping from his mouth as he pulls Dazai forward.

They’re foreheads smack into each other, causing Dazai to falter in his rhythm for just a moment. Chuuya doesn’t seem to feel the pain Dazai did, instead reaching for the brunette’s cheeks and smashing their lips together.

Dazai doesn’t mind at all, of course. 

He kisses Chuuya back just as desperately, and as soon as his lips move with his lover's— that’s just enough to tip Chuuya over the edge again.

He cries into Dazai’s mouth. The sound is like electricity shooting down Dazai’s spine, forcing him into his long-awaited orgasm. 

He fucks Chuuya through it, wrapping his arms around the boy whose face is now smooshed into his neck. It’s hot and melts any last tension off Dazai’s bones. 

He slows to a complete stop eventually, still hugging Chuuya, though to the redhead it probably feels like he’s being crushed. He doesn’t seem to mind, not with the way his arms are desperately clinging onto Dazai as well as he trembles beneath him.

From here, Dazai twists their bodies, falling to the side just as they began. 

Chuuya’s face stays tucked in his neck, breathing harshly against his skin. One of Dazai’s arms stays wrapped around Chuuya’s waist, but his other hand comes to brush the red strands from the other’s cheek and forehead.

“Hey,” Dazai whispers, heart thrumming wildly. He kisses Chuuya’s sweaty hairline, “Feeling okay?”

Chuuya hums against his neck, voice broken but clearly laced with sleep. And they have had quite the long day, he wouldn’t be surprised if Chuuya falls asleep so soon. 

Two orgasms that intense could be a factor, too.

Dazai smiles, quietly working around a slumped Chuuya. He takes the condom off, ties it, and throws it somewhere. He figures they’ll clean in an hour or so. Once he’s settled back down, he looks at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It reads 4:44 am. Funny, how in Japan the numbers could resemble something such as unlucky or perhaps inauspicious. It may be that since they are in Greece, things are looking up for them because he doesn’t feel unlucky at all.

“Hey Chuuya,” he whispers, just in case the other had fallen asleep. He can’t keep the mocking tone out of his voice or suppress his smile when he says- “We’re pretty good at faking it, huh?”

After all this time, he should have seen it coming. It was inevitable that they would fall in love. Nothing they had done was fake. When he held Chuuya’s hand, kissed him, took him on a date— well, it took him forever to realize how un-fake the whole thing really was.

It’s silly that if they could look back, ‘fake’ wouldn’t be the word to describe any feelings they’ve had for each other.

And isn’t that the joke of the month?

“I don’t even know what’s real anymore,” Chuuya smacks his lips tiredly, stretching in Dazai’s hold as he gets comfier. Well, Dazai hadn’t expected him to be awake. 

He smiles, kissing Chuuya on the forehead, about to respond with a ‘me neither’ because really, this whole situation they put themselves in has felt unreal. Dazai’s never— he never thought he could feel love again. It doesn’t feel real.

But Chuuya beats him to it—

“Everything I do just feels like a mistake,” is mumbled into the air. It’s low, so low Dazai wouldn’t have heard him if he didn’t bend lower to kiss Chuuya. 

And isn’t that a wake-up call? He really does try not to stiffen, though. He tries not to feel exposed without his bandages, naked, and so full of emotions. 

A mistake. 

His eyes flicker back to the time. He watches as that beady 4:44 turns into a 4:45.

Unlucky, indeed. 

But what could Chuuya possibly call a mistake? The only thing Dazai can think about is—

‘You’re mine. Right Chuuya. For real?’

‘Yes, I am.’

It had to have been an answer high on endorphins. They hadn’t had sex in a while, along with the oncoming orgasms after one just before. 

He must not have meant it. Fuck, is Dazai really that naive?

He was so vulnerable tonight. 

Was he that in love to have assumed Chuuya felt the same way? He couldn’t have been crazy, right? Tonight has felt perfect, but was he all in his own head?

He must have given too much away. Chuuya must pity him. 

Goddamn it. 

He can’t do this. No, he can’t face Chuuya in the morning after that. 

He purses his lips, slowly unraveling his arms from Chuuya’s body. Very slow so as not to wake the redhead up. 

It works; all Chuuya does is whine and reach out for him as he slips off the bed. Cute, his terrible, in love soul bleeds. 

Instead, he grabs a pillow, gently shoving it in Chuuya’s arms. 

It works just as he’d imagined. The boy clings on, burying his face into the plush fabric. 

Fuck, what is it? One more week and he’ll never have to embarrass himself like this again in front of Chuuya, or— anyone. 

He quickly grabs the towel off the floor. He doesn’t bother cleaning himself as he wraps it around his naked body. 

One: He doesn’t want to be in here any longer than he has to. 

And two: He knows he won’t get any sleep tonight. So he has all the time in the world to rot in his shower and think of all the horrifying moments tonight that he thought they were on the same page. 

Silently, Dazai cracks the door open and slips out. He shuts it successfully, sure that no one saw him.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t stealthy enough because Chuuya spends the next hour staring holes into the door he watched Dazai sneak through.

His stomach churns violently, and all he can think is—

Oh.

Had this whole night been a twisted way for Dazai to get back at him from the first time they met? 

It sure feels like shit.