Chapter Text
Fear. It's an emotion she's painfully familiar with. It seems like her entire life, it’s been the driving force behind all her decisions. The thing that decides what she’ll wear in the morning, if she’ll hug her parents for once, and if she’ll finally answer the door when Anna knocks. It's pretty ironic that the emotion that's held her captive for so long is the thing that finally sets her free. The decision to run away from the party into the mountains was a decision made out of genuine raw fear, yet she couldn't be more grateful for it.
Elsa sighs as the feeling of fear melts away from her. She couldn't help but feel strange. Was this how ordinary people felt? The feeling of relief, of excitement for her new beginning. Elsa slowly looked around the beautiful structure she'd created; it's so incredibly detailed, and she did that. The excitement she had felt before grew. If she did this, what else could she do?
Another deep breath, and she begins to focus, feeling her power from within herself. It's overwhelming and robust. She can feel the fear slowly drip back into her head. Focus, she reminds herself. It's no use; she feels herself become overwhelmed; ice violently shoots out of her hand and destroys some of the walls in front of her, creating a gaping hole. She clutches her hand to herself and barely avoids falling over from the force of the blast.
“Fuck,” she pants, breathless from the events.
Maybe her parents were right to keep her powers hidden; in fact, she knew they were right. The large hole in her wall proves her point. Frustration is another emotion Elsa knows well. If she could just control her powers, then she could be normal like everyone else. The frustration grows as she looks around her castle again. There's no furniture, nowhere to use the bathroom or have access to clean water, and nothing to eat.
“I really didn't think this through..” she sighs and sits on the floor, curling her knees to her chest, “god, I'm so stupid.” She stares out the hole she created, almost a symbol of what she has felt all her life, and the feeling of defeat washes over her.
Outside, the wind blows, still chilly from her outburst; she can see frost-bitten leaves dance in the air. One of the leaves deviates from its path and ends up floating and landing right in front of where Elsa sits in her misery. She sniffles and gently picks the leaf off the ground. The intricate pattern of the frost on the leaf amazes her. Its beautiful and delicate, tiny lines interweave to create snowflake-like patterns.
"How can I create this," she looks at the jagged hole, "but also that?" She looked back to the leaf still in her hand and felt a resolve she had never felt before. It's possible to make beauty and gentleness with her powers; she's holding the proof in her hands. It must be possible to control, and she had control once until her parents scared it out of her. She had control before the feeling of hopelessness took root and never left.
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“I'm not going back. I don't care how huffy you are.” Hiccup thumps toothless on the head as he huffs again. “Yeah, yeah, make all the noise you want; you can drop me off and go back if you miss it that much.” Hiccup rolls his eyes and focuses on the scenery passing by. It's been a week since he’s run away from Berk, from her. He no longer knows where he is; he's never been this far from home. He ran out of paper a while ago, so he can't even map where he's been. He focuses on the scenery again, hilly and green, the perfect place to stop for a break.
“Do you think we should settle down for the night, buddy? You've been going all day,” Hiccup asks, petting Toothless’ side gently, gaining his attention. The dragon slows down and starts his descent to the earth below them. Hiccup isn't always sure if Toothless can understand him, but he guesses he can when he does something like this. He's happy to have found toothless, a reprieve from the loneliness he always felt, someone he can talk to about his problems and feelings without being judged. Sucks he can't reply, though, hiccup thought to himself.
Toothless lands softly as always, and Hiccup jumps off his back and surveys his surroundings. Tall pine trees surrounded him, and toothless from all sides, there were a few rocks and other plants he couldn't identify. He glances back at Toothless, who tilts his head curiously.” This is perfect, thanks, buddy,” Hiccup says, toothless grunts happily, and lays down, “ I'm gonna go find us something to eat. You get some rest. I'll be back soon.” Hiccup waves goodbye as he begins to venture farther into the woods.
The strange thing is, the further he walks, the more the temperature shifts. This would be okay if it weren't the middle of summer, and the only place he should see a snowflake pass by would be the peak of a mountain, and even that depended on how tall the mountain was. He is ankle-deep in freshly fallen powdery snow when he decides to come to a halt. Something is wrong here, and he isn't dressed for this. Quickly turning around, he sprints back the way he came, puffing warm breath on his hands.
“Toothless!! Buddy! You'll never believe how weird this place is, man I wish I had my map still or - or some paper,” Hiccup runs over to Toothless, who has been peacefully sleeping, and shakes him awake with vigor, “It's like a complete temperature change in a matter of a few feet! I've never seen anything like this, we have to set up camp or something, this is amazing.” toothless sleepily grunts and rolls away from Hiccup.
Hiccup huffs, “ I can tell what you're thinking,” Hiccup makes a face and deepens his voice mockingly, “Hiccup only wants to stay here and explore so he can ignore his problems back home, he just doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that his girlfriend- sorry fiance - betrayed him in the worst possible way!” towards the end of his rant hiccup wasn't sure he was mocking anymore, “ Well, whatever, I’m not so shut up,” Toothless shifts so he can level hiccup with a blank stare.
“I’m going to set up camp,” Hiccup grabs the bags he had strapped to toothless and removes the contents: some flint, a pocket knife, some dried meat, a wooden pencil (no paper or notebook, great), and a rolled-up sleeping bag. “ I guess I should have brought a change of clothes or something, maybe some more food…” he mumbles to himself. Toothless rolls over and nudges him, stomach grumbling. “Definitely more food.”