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The Bucket residence; the lady of the house speaking! Oh, hello, Violet, dear! (muffled) It's my sister Violet! The one with the swimming pool, sauna, and room for a pony!, Just skip my turns until I come back, girls!
(normal) What’s that, dear? Oh, I have some of Richard’s friends over and we’re playing a game. You see, last week Richard accidentally forgot his mobile phone when he went out, and do you know what I found out? He’s been cheating on me with at least eight other women! Yes, it’s shocking, I know!
Well, yes, I was broken up about it at first, but then I called them up, and it turns out none of them had any idea about the rest of us either. I can’t hold that against them, can I?
So, anyway, we got together and agreed that from now on we’re going to share Richard equally to make sure he gets all the time and attention he so obviously needs. Obviously, we had to soundproof the basement first.
Why? Oh, well, you know how much Richard always liked those American game shows—The Price is Right, Wheel of Fortune, that sort of thing? So we made up a little game to play with Richard where we strap him to a bed, all spread out and comfortable, and then we spin a wheel labeled with body parts instead of monetary values, and we take turns spinning it and tickling the body part that comes up for thirty seconds at a time. The only trouble is that it’s a bit noisy.
It’s funny, though—when I was measuring out the slots for the wheel, I could have sworn I had calculated them all evenly, but the option for “penis” turned out to be only one-third the size of the others. Yes, only that one; the others are all equal. So you know, it hardly ever comes up…
Which is a pity, of course, because Richard does get so excited over the course of the game.
How do we keep score? You know, it never occurred to me that we might want to. I suppose the one who makes him ejaculate wins the round.
No, I said “round,” not “game,” dear. Any man who can keep nine women satisfied at once must have impressive stamina.
Anyway, I really should get back to him; I think my turn’s coming around again and I don’t want Richard to feel neglected. You know, Violet, if this game turns out to be a success, I just might incorporate it into my candlelight suppers from now on. We’ll see how that Sonia Barker-Finch feels about the turnout for my parties now! She’ll be simply green with envy.
Must go now, dear, Richard’s calling for me! Goodbye!