Chapter Text
Neil ran a thumb over the key in his hand as he walked down the sidewalk toward his store. Renee had taken it one day and painted it green with little sunflowers on it. The sight of it always made him smile even though it was a simple gesture. He reached the door to his shop and turned the key in the lock, hearing the satisfying faint click of it unlatching. Once he stepped inside, relief flooded his senses like it did any time he was there.
The sun had only begun its accession therefore no light peaked in through the blinds. He felt the wall for the switches, flipping them up, and watched as the store flooded with fluorescent lighting. In just a few months The Seedling would celebrate six years of being opened. A business he didn’t think would grow much but two building changes for more space and three employees later, it was doing remarkably well.
Neil made his way to his office to work on connecting with a new vendor since the one he’d been using for years was shutting down its doors at the end of the month. It was a pity since they’d given him quality-grade plants for years. He only ever had one issue with them in the past that was fixed almost immediately. It made him think about his own customer service skills and had him stepping up his game. Thirty minutes and a few inquiries later, Matt was knocking on the door frame.
“Morning Boss,” he greeted cheerfully though his eyes struggled to stay fully open. Mornings in general were for Neil and Renee to work but she had something to take care of and asked to come in that evening. Having Matt come in early was barely a step better than asking Nicky who would have been at least thirty minutes late and still asleep. Mornings and Nicky were not the greatest of friends.
“Morning,” Neil replied. “I marked some plants last night that need repotting if you want to work on them? It's all the ones with the yellow flags. Leave the green-flagged ones alone, I’m going to use them in a video today.”
“Nice,” he said, then frowned when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, saw whatever the notification was, groaned, then put the phone back in his pocket. At Neil’s questioning glance, Matt said, “That job I took on, they want to know if I could cut my timeline in half even though I already did that from the beginning. Any more cuts and they’re not going to get the level of quality they want.”
Though Neil paid decently, all of his employees had outside jobs which were considered their ‘main’ jobs. The plant shop was for ‘fun’ or to take up their free time. Matt worked as a freelancer. Neil was aware of it being tech and website-related but wasn’t sure of much else beyond that. Nicky was a PR manager for one of his friends. He said that she was basically throwing money away on him since his salary was high but didn't feel like he did much for her. Nicky could tell her no on something and she’d do it anyway. As for Renee, had not a single clue what she did exactly. It revolved around at-risk youth and sometimes required her to be gone for long periods of time or change around her shifts like that morning but he didn't know if she even got paid for it.
“Tell them to fuck off,” Neil suggested.
Matt laughed. “Your customer service is impeccable. It's truly a miracle your business was doing so well without us.”
“I’m not horrible,” he defended.
“No, but your people skills are severely lacking.”
Neil flipped him off, only causing the man to laugh even more as he made his way back to the front of the shop. Neil spent another half hour searching for new suppliers to do business with. Then he went to his online store to check the orders that had come in since the night before.
If someone was counting, they’d say he had at least four different jobs. First and foremost was his botanical store. At eighteen, he landed in Palmetto, an addition to the long list of the places he lived in his life and one he planned on leaving after a handful of months. Neil found a job in the plant department at a home improvement store and though he always loved plants, he didn’t think much about the job. It was a means to make money and to give him time to plan his next destination.
The people who worked with him didn’t give two shits about the plants in their care. They were the reason why most were dying and didn’t even bother to tell customers that their purchase was ill and probably wouldn’t make it unless they had a miraculous green thumb. Neil tried hard not to care because he had kept his love of greenery in a box for years. But he couldn't resist for long. That was how he found himself taking home the ‘unsellable’ plants. The ones too ugly, too damaged, too close to death for anyone to want. His first rescue was a spider plant. It was so close to death that Neil didn’t believe he’d be able to save it but somehow, after a month in his care, it showed signs of rejuvenation.
Saving that one singular plant had ignited something inside him. He began to dream of a life where his days were spent taking care of plants, educating people on the art, and living his days surrounded by them. He made plans for his own store and after six months in Palmetto, Neil used the money inherited after his parents died, to fund it. And a year into living in Palmetto, The Seedling opened.
Neil’s second job came a few months after the store. He didn’t have much business at that point and someone had given him a dwarf umbrella tree with tipburn, stating that they didn’t have time to take care of it or remember to take it out of the sun. And though that particular patron didn’t care for his instructions on how to save it, he figured someone out in the world did. He created a TikTok profile with the username neilsguidetosavingplantlife and filmed a video on taking care of the plant. He didn’t talk or show his face, electing to remain anonymous. He put some kind of low-fi music in the background and added the steps of care in text on the screen. He continued to make similar videos, elated at the amount of people who found his advice useful and not confusing. Then he started answering questions left in the comments and his following grew even more.
His third job, which technically wasn’t a job since he hadn’t thought about it in the four years since its publication. While on the run with his mother, Neil had kept a sketchbook with him at all times. It was the only thing he kept a secret from her. The only thing she never knew existed because if she did find out, it would be destroyed. Most of the pages were filled with plants he’d seen in the various places they stayed while on the run.
It wasn’t until somewhere in France that the drawings and sketches became more than the plants he saw. They started to center around the people he talked to. The first was an old lady who had a bed of flowers in front of her house that she seemed proud of. Neil often saw her outside tending to it each day, making sure the flowers weren’t overrun with weeds and checking all the blooms for any kind of bug damage. One particular day, Neil wasn’t with his mom so he let his curiosity propel him forward asked the lady what kind of flowers they were. Alpine sea holly, she’d said. Great magnets for butterflies and bees. He had told her that he saw the care she put into them each day and asked why. They sat down in the chairs she had outside and he listened to her talk about the flower while he sketched her little garden, catching a few butterflies come and go. It became a bit of an interview. He asked her questions like why she chose these particular flowers, what made her fall in love with them, did she have any special care or tricks she used to keep them healthy and so many more questions. He didn’t intend to write it all down. But soon he had a beautiful sketch and a story to accommodate it. The next day his mom made them leave and he never saw Daphné or her garden again.
After that, it became a sort of ritual. He would find someone in whatever town they were in and draw their garden or whatever plant they had an affinity for and asked them questions. It was the closest he could get to creating a bond with people he knew he’d end up leaving sooner or later.
When Neil was 14, Nathan caught up to him and Mary. For two days Nathaniel listened to his mother plead and beg Nathan to stop. Two days of Nathaniel watching his mother be tortured. Two days for the fear to build and anticipate when the blades would be turned upon him. When Mary’s life bled from her eyes, Nathan smiled viciously at Nathaniel and got to work. He suffered for three hours until the FBI descended upon them, killing Nathan in the process.
The scars that littered his body weren't the only permanent damage Nathan had inflicted. Neil hid the sketchbook away and kept a lid on the things he loved. He was afraid of loving something and having it taken away from him again. Sure he and his mom didn’t have a great relationship but she was his mom. He loved her. And that night made him fearful of ever loving anything or anyone again.
But then the plants came and the shop and his TikTok. It gave him the terrible hope that maybe he could have a little more in life.
Two years after opening The Seedling, Neil found his sketchbook and started drafting ideas for a book. He wanted to not only share information on plant care but also share the conversations he had with the people who probably never thought of him again after he left. A year later he published Travels of the Lonely under his initials, N.A.J with the agreement of remaining anonymous. He had his Twitter account that he kept active on the first two years after his book's release but hadn’t been on the app since. The publishing house and his literary agent had often called or emailed him asking for a second book since, to the surprise of everyone, Travels of the Lonely had done insanely well. Even after almost four years, the book remained high on the charts but he refused to even entertain the thought of a second book.
These different jobs were kept separate from each other. The book mostly because he didn’t want the attention. He didn’t want someone to read the vulnerability he put in the pages and then look at him with pity. He got enough of that from the scars left by his father that he couldn't conceal. Neil thought about combining his shop and TikTok but he liked the anonymity of his TikTok page the same way he liked it with his book. He didn’t want to risk a fan finding him in real life. So the three jobs stayed independent from each other.
His fourth job, however, tied the first two together in a way. His TikTok followers started to ask if he had a store because they wanted to buy from him but he didn't want it under the same name as The Seedling. Matt helped him with that. An online shop was opened under the username he used on TikTok. He sold his plants on the website, some stickers, and other art he created himself that were plant-themed, and he even had mystery boxes that were immensely popular. People would pay a certain dollar amount and he chose plants that accumulated to that amount. Sometimes they had preferences while others simply said ‘surprise me’. It was a whole other job entirely and some days he spent only doing that while the others took care of the shop. Matt, Nicky, and Renee knew of his TikTok and often helped him with ideas for a video and understood why he didn't want to reveal himself on it.
Neil printed out the new orders then got up from his chair and stretched, not realizing he’d been sitting still for way too long especially since he didn’t have time that morning to go on a run. He’d have to put in extra miles tonight if he wanted to get any semblance of sleep. He shrugged off his jacket then took his apron off the hook and tied it on, a faint smile always playing on his lips when he looked at it. For Christmas Nicky got them each their own personalized plant pun apron.
Neil’s was yellow with the pun ‘He can be a bit violet when he's mad’ and underneath was a picture of two violet flowers with personified faces. One looked outraged at the other. The apron given to Renee was dark green with ‘Could I have a peony for your thoughts?’ And had one person holding out a peony to another. Matt’s apron was grey with ‘You're pretty fly for a cacti’ written underneath a saguaro. Nicky got himself an orange apron that said ‘Lilac the ability to control myself’ with a personified Lilac looking as though they were jumping up and down in excitement.
“What’s the damage?” Matt asked as Neil came out onto the floor with the orders in his hand. It was after eight so the shop was open and the blinds were pulled up to let in the morning sunrays. Because it was Saturday and mid-February, they probably wouldn’t get their first customer until ten. The only people who were out this early were the ones who felt coffee was more important than staying warm in bed.
“Four fifty-dollar mystery boxes, three two-hundred and twenty, and one of the five seventy-five box,” he answered, setting the papers on the counter they used for building the mystery boxes. It was right next to the checkout counter so sometimes it was used for those who were buying an army of plants.
Matt whistled. “Good thing we just restocked in time for that $575 one.”
“Seriously,” Neil agreed. “I’ve considered taking it down as an option but they don’t come in too frequently.”
“I think it's a good tier to have. Especially when we need to clear out stock. Are you still thinking about opening a discounted section for the plants we need to get rid of?”
“Yeah, I probably will but not any time soon.”
Matt nodded then went back to repotting the plants he was working on. Their repotting station was on the floor because among the many services they provided to their customers, teaching them how to repot or having them bring in their plants for free repotting was something they offered. It was simply easier for the station to be out in the open instead in the greenhouse.
Neil had just grabbed a stromanthe triostar for the big mystery box when Dan walked in carrying two cups of coffee. One was a plain dark roast for Neil and something called a café con hielo for Matt. It was an iced drink because he was a lunatic who didn’t care that it was twenty degrees outside because he only drank iced coffee.
“Good morning boys,” Dan said, handing Matt his coffee as she walked past him then stopped in front of Neil, not quite handing his coffee over yet. Dan would sometimes bring them free coffee from the place she owned across the street called Foxy Café. So her stopping by wasn't unusual except for the fact that it was Saturday, one of her busiest days of the week that required all-hands-on-deck. He eyed her distrustfully, not bothering to take the coffee from her. She frowned and then glared at Matt. “Did you already tell him?”
“What? No!”
“Liar.”
“I’m not!” Matt argued. “Contrary to popular belief we are very busy.”
Dan looked around, eyebrow cocked at the sight of no customers being inside. “Yeah, looks pretty busy.”
“Taking care of all these plants is time-consuming and hard work. You can’t just shove them in a pot and hope they do okay. It really should be considered an art with how much care Neil gives to each and every single one.”
Neil rolled his eyes, having heard that on multiple occasions before. When he first heard Matt say that, Neil thought he was being sarcastic but had since learned Matt meant every word and was often in awe of how much Neil cared about the plants in his shop. “You gave yourself away by bringing coffee on a Saturday morning,” he said, saving Matt from Dan’s ire.
“Why are you always so suspicious about everything?” She asked, finally handing his coffee over.
He took the cup and held it between his hands, letting the warmth seep into his skin. “Being suspicious helped me survive.” Neil shrugged. Her eyes flicked to the scars on his face automatically. The two deep cuts on his right cheek, the faint line across the bridge of his nose, and the one along his left jawline. Dan and Matt had limited knowledge about his life before Palmetto but the visible scarring on his body told everyone there was a story there. They prodded a few times but when they realized he wasn’t going to offer over the information they stopped and avoided the topic altogether. They no longer stared at his face like they once did but sometimes, when he'd mention something concerning his past, it was like they couldn't control the automatic reaction to look at his scars.
“Kevin’s birthday is next Thursday and we’re celebrating the Saturday after. He wanted me to extend the invite to you," she said, meeting his gaze once again, a hint of embarrassment in her tone when she realized he'd caught her staring a little too long.
It was Neil’s turn to glare. Kevin was part of Dan and Matt’s friend group. Said friend group included Renee, Nicky, and seven other people Neil only knew of from hearing their names constantly. Kevin was the only person from the group he’d met since none of the others ever came into his store and if Neil wasn’t in his store, he was at home which didn’t give him many chances to socialize with people. He wasn’t one for going out, no matter how many times Matt, Dan, and even Nicky begged him to.
Kevin first came in four months prior looking for something to give to a coworker who just started at the university where he taught. The whole interaction had Neil and Kevin arguing back and forth. He was shocked when Kevin did end up making a purchase. Was even more surprised when Kevin "stopped by to say hello" a week later. Every interaction they’d had in the last few months was always filled with arguments that went from the placement of a certain plant in his shop to his marketing outside the shop. Their last argument a few days ago ended in Neil banning Kevin from the store.
“And he couldn't invite me himself?” Neil asked.
“He said you banned him and he doesn’t have your number.”
“Bummer,” Neil replied, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Come on,” Dan pleaded. “We’ve known you for, what, three years and in that time you’ve never come out with us.”
“It’s nothing personal.” Neil placed his cup down on the counter then picked up the next order and headed down an aisle with a plant in mind. Dan was quick to follow after him, undeterred.
“It’s starting to feel personal. We all get along. Matt tells me the kind of fun you guys have. He even thinks of you as a friend-”
“He does?” Neil asked, surprised as he turned to face Dan. She looked down at him, eyes blinking in confusion at his question.
“Yeah, he does,” she said softly.
“Oh,” Neil glanced down, turning his back to her once again as his skin pricked with shame. He didn’t know Matt thought or felt that. And it wasn’t like Neil didn’t like it, he did but he thought he was the only one who felt that way. He honestly thought Matt only pretended to like him because he was the boss.
“You’re young Neil. And you're successful. But you spend all your time in this shop. The only time I see you outside of it is on the rare occasion you come into my café or when I see you open and close the store or when Renee makes you take a break. We’re half convinced you’re a vampire and that’s why we never see you out and about.”
Neil smiled at that, his hand reaching out to rub the leaves of a syngonium strawberry between his fingers. “I don’t know,” he said finally. Because that fear he obtained after his mother’s death was like lead in his bones at this point. He cared about Dan, Matt, Renee, and Nicky. He enjoyed their company and there were so many times when he wanted to say yes to their invites. But he knew that if he saw them outside of this store then they would be more than his employees or a fellow business owner and it would be too easy to love and care about them.
Despite no longer having any more monsters alive in his life who could take them away, the ‘what if’ played like a broken record in his head. He let himself have this shop, his TikTok, and even his book. But if he let himself have anything more he would be greedy and the universe would come and take it all away from him. He was sure of that. But he wanted. God did he want.
“Just think about it?” Dan asked. “Kevin can be kind of an ass but I know he’d really like it if you came.”
“I’ll think about it,” Neil promised and then Dan was leaving. He let go of the leaves between his fingers and sighed. In retrospect, he knew how long he’d known the others but hearing those years said out loud made him see how much time had truly passed.
“You okay?” Matt asked, coming down the aisle but not getting very close. He had an empty pot in one hand, probably for one of the zz plants he had left.
“Yeah,” Neil said, looking up and forcing a smile on his face though he knew it was a terrible attempt. “Dan just gave me a lot to think about.”
“She tends to do that.”
“She’d have been a good therapist or something,” Neil said, picking up the syngonium strawberry for the mystery box.
“She actually planned on going pro,” Matt said, trailing after Neil as he headed toward the counter to place the plant with the others.
“Pro?” Neil asked.
“Yeah, she played soccer. Injured her ankle sophomore year of college and was out for a year. She tried to return but the injury left her with permanent damage. She never got to live out her dream.”
Neil frowned, having never known that about her. “How did she end up with the café?”
“It used to be Wymack’s but he never did anything with it and was considering selling it. But after Dan found out she’d never play again, he gave it to her as a project. Gave her something to focus on instead of what she’d lost. Made her believe he wanted to rebrand it and gave her full reign. Once everything was set in stone he gave her the keys and said good luck. I don’t know if he knew how much that meant to her then. Still means to her.”
“Who’s Wymack?” Neil asked. He’d heard the name before like so many others but he didn’t think this person was part of the friend circle.
“He was Dan’s coach and he’s also Kevin’s dad.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”
“I know,” Matt said. Though his agreement held no malice, Neil felt like maybe it should have. Three years and he knew next to nothing about these people who have been in life for so long. Matt diverged back to the repotting station while Neil continued to work on the mystery boxes.
Once every plant was picked out for each box, he loaded them on a cart and took them out to the greenhouse where he had a workstation. He unpotted each plant, wrapped their roots in a wet paper towel, and put a plastic bag over it, then wrapped them in a corrugated roll. Once everything was protected, Neil packed them into a box along with the nursery pots and then proceeded to the next steps. In a green envelope, he put a care instruction card for each plant inside, a ‘how to unpackage’ card, and lastly, added a few freebie stickers with his TikTok username and logo of a heartleaf philodendron he drew himself. He sealed the envelope and wrote on the front in all caps, “Read before you do anything” and underlined it three times. Then he put the packed boxes to the side to load up and take to the postal office later that day.
Back on the floor he gathered the green-flagged plants and brought them over to a corner in the front of the store where the sun shone the brightest and set up his tripod and camera. He filled a large glass bowl with water, pressed ‘record’ on the camera, then placed the first pot in the water. He had at least six plants lined up which would take a few hours to get through as long as he didn’t get too distracted with other things.
Despite Dan joking about their lack of business, it did pick up after ten, when the sun was out and it had the chance to warm people up. Just like Neil knew it would. A few of his regulars stopped by with some questions and other items they needed for their plants. One even bought another addition for their home, stating that their husband kept complaining about having too many plants in the house and therefore they had to buy another one just to be contrite.
Nicky came in shortly after noon, dressed in vibrant colors like always, heart-shaped sunglasses atop his head, and a reusable coffee cup in hand that no doubt contained some variation of a pumpkin-spiced drink from Dan's café. “Hello beautiful people,” he said upon entry.
“Hey Nicky,” Matt called. “Hurry up and clock in. I need some help with propagating a few of these spiderworts.” A full-body chill wracked through Nicky and Neil didn’t even bother hiding his laughter. Matt rolled his eyes. “For the thousandth time, it doesn’t get its name because spiders live in it.”
“Then why does it have to have ‘spider’ in the name of it?”
The argument wasn’t new and Nicky had an affinity for not handling any plant that had ‘spider’ in its name.
“Like Neil has explained a million times,” Matt said, exasperated. “It’s believed to have been used in the past to treat spider bites; others believe it's because its flowers hang down like spiders, and even more say it's because of the secretion that’s released when cut.” Nicky made a face at the word ‘secretion’. Matt was having none of it. “No! I heard in great detail some of the things Erik has done to you. Do not make that face at the word ‘secretion’ when you told me Erik-”
“Okay!” Neil interrupted loudly. “How about we not talk about this stuff when we still have a customer in the store.”
Nicky and Matt looked over to where the one person was and stared back at Neil and frowned. “Everyone knows that Mrs. Johnson can’t hear shit,” Nicky said.
“Not even the point,” Neil sighed. “Matt, I’ll take over with Nicky if you want to go ahead and go to lunch.”
“You sure?” Matt asked.
“Yeah, we got this.”
Not one to prolong going to lunch, Matt put aside the spiderwort he planned to propagate then went to wash his hands and clock out. Nicky followed after him to clock in and probably prolong helping Neil. Of all the plants that Nicky could have been scared of, a spiderwort was not the one to waste his fear on.
“Okay,” Nicky said once he returned, donning a pair of garden gloves that they very rarely, if ever, used. Neil resisted the urge to roll his eyes and then directed Nicky on what to do. “Did Kevin invite you to his birthday party?” Nicky eventually asked as they worked side by side. Mrs. Johnson was still the only person in the store and Neil was positive she’d be in here for a while as she often was. She never bought anything, making Neil wonder if she was lonely and found solace in the plants. He could sadly relate.
“Yeah, Dan had to come invite me since Kevin is actually taking my ban seriously.”
Nicky laughed. “Are you going to lift it? He was genuinely upset.”
“I didn’t technically mean it. But if he thinks he can’t come in then that's better for me.”
“I don’t think you mean that,” Nicky said, his voice soft. “I mean I get you two argue a lot but there’s no hatefulness behind it. More like two brothers who like to get on each other's nerves.”
Neil shrugged but agreed with Nicky. In his opinion, Kevin came off as a prickly kind of person but when they weren’t arguing he kind of liked talking with Kevin.
Out of the corner of his eye, Mrs. Johnson walked past and headed for the door. He frowned after her, wondering if she’d always been lonely or if it was a relatively new thing.
“Makes you think, huh?”
“What?” Neil asked, looking back at Nicky.
“Mrs. Johnson. It must be sad being so alone. I bet she wished she spent more time with people than by herself.”
Neil narrowed his eyes at Nicky. “Have you all decided to gang up on me to get me to go out?”
“No,” Nicky said, but Neil could see it for the blatant lie that it was.
“I told Dan I’d think about it,” Neil sighed as he stood up and began to clean his workstation, figuring Nicky could handle the rest.
“Really?”
“It’s not a yes.”
“But it’s not a no.” Nicky smiled up at him and it felt wholly undeserving because if he didn’t go to Kevin’s birthday party he’d disappoint Nicky and that would make him feel awful.
Neil walked over to the bottom watering plant and switched it out with another one just in time for Renee to walk in. “Hello,” she said to him then waved at Nicky as she went into the back to clock in and get her apron. When she came back he’d just pressed record on the camera for the last plant.
“How many have you gotten through?” She asked.
“This makes the sixth. Think it will be enough?”
“Certainly. I’ll let you know when it's done so you can work on editing the video. Why don’t you go take your lunch? The weather is nice out.”
“It’s forty-something degrees outside.”
“Yes, but the sun is out and that always makes it better.”
Neil had nothing left in his arsenal to argue with. Not when it came to Renee. Because where he would have accused the others of trying something suspicious, Renee wasn’t like that. She was the only person to notice that he didn’t take breaks like the others and hardly ever ate while he was at the shop. And once she’d noticed it, she would often push him to take a lunch break even if it was just him walking around the block.
“Fine,” he conceded. “Do you want anything while I’m out?”
“No thank you, I ate before I came in.”
He nodded then went to the back to hang up his apron, pull on his jacket, and grab his lunch out of the fridge in the breakroom. He stopped by where Nicky was putting the newly propagated plants up and asked if he wanted anything while Neil was out. After receiving another no he headed to the park and sat at his favorite bench under a willow oak to eat. If he returned to the shop sooner than an exact hour later he’d have to face Renee’s wrath and though it was a silent sort of wrath, he didn’t want to invoke it for any reason.
There were quite a few people out despite the cold weather. A couple walking on the sidewalk hand in hand, smiling as they talked. A family of four over by the playground. A few runners in the park and others having picnics. In the distance, he watched as a ridiculously tall man with black hair threw a ball and his Australian shepherd chased after it. Behind the man, there was a blonde guy just a bit shorter who was sneaking up on the taller man. Neil watched, curious about what was going to happen. Did the blonde guy want to attack the other? Should Neil be concerned? Should he warn the man? But then the blonde guy wrapped his arms around the black-haired man and laughed. The man turned around, smiled down at the blonde, and kissed him as if it’d been years since they last saw each other. Neil looked away, feeling like he was invading a private moment despite them being in public.
If he was in the business of being honest with himself, Neil might have admitted that the scene made his chest ache. So much of his life was spent fighting to survive and believing he could trust no one. The other part of his life was spent as a nomad, afraid of settling down in one place for too long. He didn’t want to be alone but he didn’t know how to make connections with people and was too afraid to try.
He sighed, unsure of what to do. Logically, nothing would happen if he let Dan and the others in. But what if he let them in and they didn’t like what they saw? Neil Josten wasn’t even his real name and none of them knew that. Getting close to them meant putting himself on the line. It meant risking them finding out his true heritage. It meant risking the world finding out the contents of the safe he kept hidden in his closet. Contents he should have burned a long time ago.
Neil returned to the shop an hour later to find his filming station cleaned up. The store had a handful of people inside, making Matt, Nicky, and Renee busy. He jumped in where he could but was soon shooed away by Renee who told him that he had a video to edit and they had things taken care of. He grumbled but did as she said and disappeared into his office to work on the video. He uploaded the footage to his laptop and opened his editing software to cut down the video and speed it up for a time-lapse.
It was always fascinating to watch the bottom-watering videos. In real-time, it was hard to see a difference that the watering did. But sped up, it was easy to see the water soaking into the soil and the plant liven up. The sight was beautiful and one of his favorite types of videos he made. Once the video was polished to his liking he added text to indicate the name of each plant since it was a common question in the comments. Lastly, he added a song. It was a bit somber but it fit the mood he was currently in. Then he uploaded the video to his TikTok account.
He watched as the likes and comments came in then replied to a few and liked others. Nicky said it was good if he spent at least an hour after upload being active with his following. Neil didn’t see why but eventually it became a habit he couldn't break. Not when it meant he got to see his favorite follower.
@ajosephm: there’s no logical explanation for why these videos are so soothing. you always seem to choose the right song every time. i could watch these for hours.
Neil smiled, liked the comment, and quickly replied with, As long as there are plants to be watered, there will be videos to be filmed and uploaded. It wasn’t his best reply but he didn’t think this ajosephm cared. Not when they had been following Neil since nearly from the beginning and they always liked his videos and left comments. Neil had thought on several occasions to reach out to the person and make a friend since online friendship was easier than real-life friendship. But he constantly talked himself out of it and now it’d been years and the closest he ever got was replying to each comment ajosephm left.
“We’re wrapping up,” Renee said, leaning against the door frame. He startled, not having noticed she’d come in. He looked down at the time and saw that it was thirty minutes before closing.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was,” he admitted as he stood up and stretched. He must have spent longer editing and replying to comments than he realized if it was already six.
“You doing okay?” She asked, noticing his somber mood.
“Yeah, I’m fine Renee,” he answered.
“You know you can always talk to me if you need to.”
“I do. I just have a lot of thoughts running through my head today. Having trouble quieting them.”
“Be careful when you go running later. I wish you’d wear something reflective. People don’t know how to drive around here.”
“I’ll be careful, I promise.”
“Should have gotten you a reflective jacket for Christmas,” she mumbled, heading back out front. Neil laughed, knowing how much it bothered her that he didn’t run with something that made him more noticeable when it was dark.
He pushed himself to run longer and harder that night to the point of exhaustion. He fell asleep wondering what his life would be like if he stopped being so afraid. He had a second chance at life and he was wasting it by living it fully.