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Chapter Text

(At a beach, a man with long blond hair and wearing an orange and green suit falls from a portal and lands on his ass)

Blond hair dude: Ow…

(The man sees a note and grabs it)

Blond hair dude: What the-

(On the note, it reads: Dear Aquaman, it gives me great pleasure to officially welcome you to the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!! You may or may not be receiving this note right as you get teleported to the race… lol. Anyway, get to the middle of the island, meet your partner and the rest of the competition! Loved - Adramelech)

Aquaman: …What the hell is going on?!

(Suddenly, a blue hair girl falls right in front of Aquaman)

Aquaman: Holy!

(The girl gets quickly up)

Blue hair girl: Where am I?!

Aquaman: I don’t know… uh

Blue hair girl: My name is Hatsune Miku!! 

Aquaman: …Who?

Miku: (offended) I’m the biggest idol in the world!! How do you not know me!?

Aquaman: That explains it! I don’t listen to that type of music!

Miku: Really?!? I thought everyone would listen to my music?

Aquaman: I guess not… sorry

Miku: It's okay! I'll win you over!

(A note falls on Miku’s face)

Miku: OOOHHH!! A note!

(She reads the note)

Miku: WO! A race! 

(Miku jumps up and down in excitement)

Miku: Are you my teammate?

Aquaman: I don’t think so?

Miku: Okay!

(Miku runs off, leaving Aquaman in the dust or sand I guess)

Aquaman: What the hell is going on?!

(Aquaman runs after the idol. After a bit, both of them stop to see a sign not in…  a human language)

Aquaman: So… what does it say?

Miku: Miku doesn’t know what it says! Miku only knows how to read music!!

Aquaman: Yeah… apparently I have a 1st grade reading level so this is above my level.

Miku: Well… let's go this way! 

(Miku points at a dark and dangerous-looking forest)

Aquaman: (Shrugs) Sure!

(Suddenly, a muscular man with white combed back hair and wearing a black suit and a red necktie carrying a short girl with a short black bob and wearing a white button up shirt, a red necktie, red gloves, and a red beanie runs out of the forest)

Muscular dude: RUN!! DON’T GO INTO THE FOREST!! WORST MISTAKE EVER!!

Unlucky girl: AAAAHHHHH!!

(Those two passed Aquaman and Miku)

Aquaman: Uh…

(A dark figure covered in dark blue armor with a fucked up right arm that is basically a large flesh claw and has a flesh sword in his left-hand steps out of the forest)

Dark figure: AAAAARRRRRR!!!

(Miku scours behind Aquaman)

Aquaman: Don’t worry! I deal with worse!

(Aquaman pulls out a golden trident)

Miku: Where did you get that?

Aquaman: OUT OF MY ASS!!

Miku: Whoa! So cool!

(Aquaman leaps at the dark knight but the knight swipes him away straight to a tree)

Aquaman: MIKU!! RUN!! HE’S ABOVE MY LEVEL!!

Miku: AAAHHHH!!

(We move from Miku screaming as we cut to an average-looking man with short black hair and is wearing a blue shirt and jeans. He looks anxious as he looks at his surroundings)

??: Hey!

(The anxious man turns to the source of the sound and pulls out a gun at a tan man with long brown hair tied in a ponytail and wears a white button-down with a blue sweater vest over it, gray pants held in by a black belt, black shoes with white socks, and glasses)

Ponytail dude: Whoa! Calm down! No one needs to get hurt!

Anxious dude: Who the fuck are you!

Ponytail dude: My name is Alec and I think we’re in the situation!

Anxious dude: How do I know you're not lying!?  

Alec: You should have gotten a note about what's happening?

Anxious dude: What note-

(A note flies straight into the man’s face)

Anxious dude: Shit!

(The man pulls the note from his face and reads it)

Anxious dude: A race huh… 

Alec: Yeah… I’m not sure of the validity though it’s better than nothing.

Anxious dude: I see… Alec, right?

Alec: Yeah, uh…

Anxious dude: Franklin… Franklin Saint

Alec: I see… Franklin, I think it’s best that we stick together for right now.

Franklin: And why is that?

Alec: While I didn’t think we’re each other's partners, it would be a good move for us to have allies in this competition.

Franklin: Right… do you know the way?

Alec: I think. I saw someone fly over there (points south) so I suggest going there.

Franklin: You saw someone flying?

Alec: Yeah… If it wasn't for how I got here, I wouldn't believe it.

Franklin: Fine… I’ll trust you. But if I find out your lying, I’ll make sure you’ll regret it!

Alec: Alright…

(We transition from Alec and Franklin to the muscular man and short girl from before recovering from running from the dark knight)

Muscular man: Are you okay, Fuuko?

Fuuko: Yeah! What about you, Andy?

Andy: Feeling great!! Though fighting that nightmarish knight without a sword wasn’t my brightest idea.

(Andy looks at his now cut-off arm)

Fuuko: Ah… it’ll grow back!

Andy: Right!

(As quickly as we saw the halved arm, it grew back to a normal arm)

??: AAAAHHHH!

(Andy and Fuuko look behind them to see Aquaman and Miku run passed them)

Andy: Wait! If those guys are here… that-

Dark knight: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!

Andy: Well… shit! 

(Andy picks up Fuuko and runs as fast as he can)

Aquaman: Yo!

Andy: Hey!

Aquaman: Running away for your life as well?

Andy: Yep!

??: Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Aquaman and Andy: Huh?!

(They turn to see a ninja with blue amour and a saucer-shaped helmet running with them on stilts. Well he actually running on swords)

Ninja : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Aquaman: What is he saying?

Miku: OH! Miku can translate it! He says “Enjoying the race?”

Andy: Hey! Do you know we’re being chased?!

Ninja: Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Miko: He says “What?”

(The ninja looks behind them and sees the dark knight)

Ninja : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Miko: He says “So the legends are true! Soul Edge is real!!

Fuuko: Soul Edge?!

Andy: What legends?!

Ninja: Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Miko: He says “I, Yoshimitsu, the leader of the Manji Clan, will defeat Nightmare and bring Soul Edge to the Clan!!!

(Yoshimitsu jumps backward straight towards the dark knight, Nightmare. Their blades collide, forming a dust cloud)

Miko: WHOA!

Aquaman: Do you think that ninja won?

Andy: Nah

(The dust clears and we see Yoshimitsu dancing)

Andy: Holy…

Aquaman: He actually won?!

??: Hey!!

(A hand suddenly grabs Yoshimitsu's neck)

??: You don’t get to celebrate my victory!

(A woman with long, wavy vermilion-colored hair and sharp teeth and wears a white tunic, a long, dark blue shirt with long sleeves over it, a purple sash, white trousers, a long red cape, and a red robe exits out the dust cloud)

Miko: She looks cool!

Fuuko: She looks like she would kill us all! Just my luck…

Angry woman: HEY!! ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME!?!!

Fuuko: Uh…

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Miko: He says “Let me go, woman!”

(The woman throws Yoshimitsu at Miko)

Angry woman: WHOSE NEXT!!! 

Fuuko: Andy?

Andy: Uh… sure! I’ll!

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

(Yoshimitsu jumps up and stands back up)

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Miko: He says “MINE MINE MINE!”

(Yoshimitsu flies straight to the angry woman and swings his sword at her, but she blocks it with her arm)

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Miko: He says “Ooo… interesting! Who are you?

Angry woman:  You want to know my name? (The area starts to heat up) I’M MEREOLEONA VERMILLION!! THE LIONESS OF THE CRIMSON LIONS!!

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Miko: He says “WHO?!”

Meroleona: …

(Meroleona punches the ninja sending him back)

??: AAAAARRRRR!!

(Nightmare gets back up and looks ready to murder something)

Meroleona: You want to fight?!

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises (points at Nightmare)

Meroleona: I’ll take both of you on!!

(As Meroleona, Yoshimitsu, and Nightmare circle each other, Aquaman looks at the others)

Aquaman: So… you guys want to go?

Miko: Yeah!

Fuuko: Yep!

Andy: Ah… I wanted to fight them too!

Fuuko: NO! If you joined the fight, this island might sink!

Andy: Fine…

(The four of them walk far from the conflict that is happening. Meanwhile, we cut to a big ass sign that is actually in a human language. A dark skin man with dark brown braids and wears a white sleeveless coat over a black hakama, white boots, longer gloves, a band-like visor, and an orange rope coming from his right shoulder looks at the sign… despite having a blindfold)

Blind dude: Hm… (touches and feels the sign) interesting

??:  Hey dude… how are you able to read that?

(The blind dude turns to a man wearing baggy jeans, a brown hoodie, a graphic T-shirt, and a gray beanie with a yellow line in the middle)

Blind dude: Hm?

Beanie bro: I mean… you are wearing a blindfold and all of that?

Blind dude: The sign has braille on it.

Beanie bro: Oh right… the blind people's language! 

Blind dude: …

Beanie bro: Uh… the name’s Jesse!

Blind dude: …

Jesse: Uh…

Blind dude: Tōsen, Kaname Tōsen

Jesse: Neat name! Uh…  what does it say?

Tōsen: It says “You're on the right track, but I know most of you haven’t found your partner!”

Jesse: The sign is probably not wrong

Tōsen: “So we left hints for you guys to help you out!” …hm

(Tōsen grabs a card that was on the sign)

Tōsen: The card has my name and it says “The Soul Reapers”... must be the team name then…

(Suddenly, another card pops up on the sign)

Jesse: Whoa! Is this sign magic or I’m tripping out!?

(Jesse grabs the card)

Jesse: THE DRUG DEALERS?! That’s my team name!?! Come on! I left that life!

(Jesse turns the card around)

Jesse: Oi! There’s more stuff here?! It’s like a poem!

(Tōsen turns his card around)

Tōsen: “A warrior born of honor, not of woe. In every step, a tale of trials endured. In every scar, a testament assured. For he can’t fear his own world”

Jesse: Whoa man… that’s deep… I think?

Tōsen: I think I know who my partner is…

Jesse: Good for you! I don’t know what my poem says! Something about bricks and stuff?

Tōsen: Hm… I think I’ll go ahead

Jesse: What!? You can’t leave me al-

(Tōsen precedes to leave Jesse alone and flies out of there)

Jesse: Man…

(As Jesse wonders what the hell he’s going to do, he sees three men wearing colorful spandex marching through the coastline. One man has long blond dreads hanging from his shoulders. Another one also has dreads but is black and tied up in the back and also has a trumpet in his hands. The last man is more muscular and has shorter hair)

Jesse: What the fuck?!

Trumpet dude: Holy shit!! Aaron Paul

Jesse: Who?!

Trumpet dude: If you're not Aaron Paul… then who are you?

Jesse: JESSE FUCKING PICKMAN!!

Trumpet dude: Like… the Jesse Pickman?! The one who works with Walter White?!

Jesse: Uh… you're not feds right?

Trumpet dude: Nah! I’m like… one of your biggest fans!! 

Jesse: Huh?

(The group runs towards Jesse, scaring the fuck out of him)

Jesse: What the fuck!

Trumpet dude: I’m Xavier Woods! (Points to the dreadlocked dude) This is Kofi Kingston! (Points to the muscular man) and this is Big E and we are (Plays his trumpet) THE NEW DAY!

Kofi and Big E: NEW DAY!!

(They started dancing for no reason, leaving Jesse stunned.)

(We move from Jesse possibly tripping to see a brown human-like coyote with tan fur in the middle of his body walking through the island)

Coyote: I have yet to see anyone… is this a trap from the trolls?

(As soon as he speaks, a little gray anthropomorphic ring-tailed lemur wearing a short-sleeved black bodysuit, an amber sleeveless top, and amber hi-tops, amber sports tape around her forearms and fingerless black gloves made of black and dark orange sports tape falling down a tree)

Lemur: Ow…

Coyote: (In his thoughts) Hmm… not dead. (Outloud) Are you okay?

Lemur: I’m good! Just slip on a tree!

Coyote: Oh…

Lemur: This is the first time I've had another person like me!

Coyote: You mean an anthropomorphic animal?

Lemur: Yeah! Even then I only say one human!

Coyote: Really? I haven’t seen a single person yet. I was beginning to think this was some sort of trap for me?

Lemur: A trap by who? Dr. Eggman?

Coyote: Dr. Eggman? Isn’t he dead?

Lemur: I don’t know what rock you’ve been living under, but he’s still kicking and doing evil!

Coyote: Hm… (a thought pops up in his mind) I’m curious… What is Sonic doing?

Lemur: Uh… it's been a bit since I’ve seen him, but he’s doing adventure stuff and saving people!

Coyote: Hm… I think we might be from different worlds!

Lemur: Really?! Like different dimensions? 

Coyote: Right, Mrs… uh

Lemur: Oh right! I never introduce myself! I’m Tangle! Tangle the Lemur!!

Coyote: And my name is Coyote.

Tangle: …That’s it?

Coyote: Yeah? 

Tangle: Huh…

Coyote: Anyway… I suggest sticking together til we meet our partners.

Tangle: Wouldn’t you be my partner?

Coyote: No… you don’t match the description on my card.

Tangle: What card?

Coyote: The cards at the sign?

Tangle: At that sign saying you're on the right path?

Coyote: Yes

Tangle: Oh… I didn’t see any card

Coyote: It literally said it had hints for our partners!

Tangle: Oh… well I found my partner when I saw them!!

Coyote: Good luck with that!

(Coyote walks away)

Tangle: Hey! Wait for me!

(Tangle follows Coyote as the journey to the middle of the island continues… shesh how did no one get there yet?)

(We cut back to that very helpful sign, as a short, golden-blond braided hair boy wearing a bright red, long-sleeved, hooded cloak, a black shirt, and black pants. The boy reads the sign and grabs a card. It reads Edward Elric and The Randos)

Edward: The Randos? What kind of team-

(Edward turns the card back)

Edward: “It’s random lol! Your partner is probably taller than you lolololololol!!” DAMIT! I’M NOT SHORT!!

??: Haha!

Edward: Who's laughing at me!!?

(Edward turns around to see a surprisingly tall girl with blond hair in a ponytail and an eyepatch and wearing a military style parka, sweatpants with a utility belt, and black gloves giggling. Right next to her is another much shorter girl with long brown hair and wearing a yellow shirt, short dark teal overalls, light-yellow lace-up shoes, and a yellow headband with a white heart on each side, who's laughing out loud)

Little girl: HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Edward: HEY!! You're shorter than me!!

Little girl: Yeah! Because I’m a kindergartener! 

Taller girl: Come on now, Fiore… stop teasing him!

Fiore: Nah… I’ll continue!

(Edward grits his teeth as Fiore grabs a card)

Fiore: Argh! Dude! I got to team up with him again!?

Edward: You… not talking about me right?

Fiore: Honestly, I wished! 

Taller girl: Who are you talking about then?

Fiore: Not of your business!

Taller girl: Wha-

Fiore: None of your business!

Taller girl: Oh… okay?

Edward: What’s her problem?

Taller girl: I have no clue.

(The taller girl grabs a card and reads it “To Dee” and “The Fiction”)

Dee: The Fiction??

Edward: So you got a weird team as well?

Dee: Yeah… (turns the card around) “It’s a dog lol” What is this?!

Fiore: Ha! You got a horrible hint!

Dee:  Hmp!

Edward: If it makes you feel better…  my hint was that my partner was taller than me.

Fiore: OMG! That might be the worst one so far! 

(Edward grunts his teeth)

Fiore: Okay! Enough of the chit-chat! We should go!

Edward: You can’t tell me what to do!

Fiore: You're right! I was talking to Dee!

Dee: Oh…

Edward: Hey! You can’t boss her around!

Fiore: Yes… Yes, I can! Come on, Dee!

Dee: Uh… see you later, Edward!

(Fiore and Dee head out, leaving Edward stunned. Alec and Franklin walk towards the sign and see Edward is stunned self)

Alec: Are you okay?

Edward: Yeah… just really confused. Like how does a teenager allow themself to be controlled by a toddler!?

Alec: A lot of trauma and a lot of unresolved personal issues

(Both Franklin and Edward look at him)

Alec: What?

Edward: Sounds like you have experience in this situation?

Alec: What- no?!

Franklin: Then why do you answer with an actual answer? 

Alec: …

Edward: Welp… I’m done pondering… I’m going to find my partner.

(As Edward walks away, Alec picks up a card and reads it)

Alec: …Shit

(We cut to a pastel pink, dual ponytail hair girl wearing an ebony-black top under an unbuttoned, mustard-and-scarlet safari vest, black shorts black socks lime-and-flacken sneakers, emerald-green choker, dinosaur-tooth necklace, lime wristbands, yellow scrunchies in her hair, and sunglasses walking. Just walking)

Ponytail girl: …I feel like I’m going in circles…

(As soon as she says that, she accidentally walks into someone)

Ponytail girl: Ow…

??: Hey! Watch where you're going!!

(The person turns around to reveal a tall teenage girl with long blonde hime-cut hair wearing a white Victorian style frilled mini dress with long sleeves and fingerless gloves, a red checkered ascot tie with matching socks and a ruby red jewel on the tie, and heeled white boots.)

Ponytail girl: I’m so sorry!

Victorian girl: You better be! Do you know how much this cost!?

Ponytail girl: Uh…

(Another girl with brown hair and wearing a blue school uniform with a sky blue flat cap as well flicks the Victorian girl)

Victorian girl: Ow! Why did you do that, Asuka!! 

Asuka: Because you got to chill, Lili!

Ponytail girl: Uh…

Asuka: Sorry about her! I’m Asuka! I assume you are here because of the race like us?

Ponytail girl: Yeah… I still haven’t found my partner. Have you found yours?

Asuka: Unfortunately, yes

(In a flashback, we see Asuka and Lili get dropped right in front of the sign. Asuka then reads the sign and grabs a card)

Asuka: “Your partner is right next to you” (Turns to look at Lili) …Shit

(Back to the present)

Ponytail girl: Oh… sorry for your loss

Lili: Hey! I’ll be a great partner unlike you two peasants!

Ponytail girl: I doubt it!

Lili: Hmp!

Asuka: Oh! By the way, I don’t think I got your name?

Ponytail girl: Oh! My name is Zoe! Nice to meet you Asuka!

Asuka: Same here Zoe!

(Lili looks more annoyed at them as they move toward the middle of the island)

(Speaking of the middle of the island, we cut to a sign saying “You're so close! You have like one more mile left!”. We see a girl with long blond hair (jesus christ there so many) wearing a white top and torn-up jean shorts and another girl with long black hair and wearing a blue beanie, a red jacket, a yellow shirt, and blue pants reading the sign)

Beanie girl: Oh butt knuckles… Another mile!?

Another blond girl: And my phone is going to die too!

(The beanie girl rolled her eyes)

Beanie girl: Not sure if my legs can handle walking again!

(Suddenly, a red-haired girl with a squirrel tail and wearing a brown bodysuit and a brown jacket with a squirrel on it over it burst out of a bush)

Squirrel Girl: Hey there! I’m Squirrel Girl! Do you want to be friends?!

Another blond girl: AHHH!!! Run away MK!!

(The blond girl runs away with MK following her)

MK: JULIA!! WAIT FOR ME!!

Squirrel Girl: Ah… 

(A squirrel crawls towards Squirrel Girl, who gives it an acorn)

(We cut to a couple of stands, where a tall and big man wearing a green hoodie, a red vest over the hoodie, some Jordans, and a metal mask that cover most of his face chilling)

Masked man: Man… I could go for some Cheetos or Doritos…

(A cloud of puff smoke pops up in front of the masked man. The masked man inhales the smoke and coughs)

Masked man: What the fuck is this shit?! This is no methylenedioxymethamphetamine!!!

(A black and gray slender-looking devil with long pointed ears, two pairs of horns, and a long, thin, prehensile tail walks out of the smoke)

Devil dude: Holy shit!! (Points at the masked man) MF DOOM!!

MF DOOM: Holy shit! (Points to the devil) Satan Jr.!

Devil dude: I’m not Satan Jr! I’m not even related to that dude!

MF DOOM: Then who are you?!

Devil dude: I’m Adramelech! I’m one of the strongest devils ever and you should tremble upon my might!

MF DOOM: …Nah!

Adramelech: What? I’m the one who sent all the invites and made all the hints!

MF DOOM: …So? I didn’t even use any of those hints since I woke up right here!

Adramelech: …Damn… Should have not randomized the spawn points. Anyway… How long have you been here?

MF DOOM: Three hours

Adramelech: Shesh… 

MF DOOM: Can I get some Doritos? I’m starved

Adramelech: You have to wait till your partner gets here before getting a reward.

MF DOOM: A bag of Doritos is a reward?! I can buy 10 for 10 dollars!

Adramelech: Well too bad! There is no intelligent life other than the other contestants! Just sit back and wait!

MF DOOM: How about I eat you!?

Adramelech: Nope! You just got to- WAIT WHAT!?

MF DOOM : Imagine eating roasted devil or BBQ devil!
Adramelech:  Aye yo!

MF DOOM: Though I’m probably going to need a lot of cayenne pepper though!

Adramelech: ALRIGHT!! I’ll get you your damn Doritos!

??: What is this foolishness!!!? 

(MF DOOM and Adramelech turn to see a tall figure with a black bodysuit with various armored components and a helmet with a large, stylized black manta ray design on the front and glowing red eyes)

Adramelech: OH MY-

??: Shut it fool!

Adramelech: Bruh… I was going to introduce you!

??: I don’t need an introduction, as I can introduce myself!

(Adramelech shrugs)

??: I will conquer this race, destroy Atlantis, kill Aquaman, and become the king of the world! For I! Black Manta! Will start with you! (Points at MF DOOM)

MF DOOM: …You really think you can take on the illest villain!

Black Manta: You are no villain!!

(Black Manta pulls out a trident and jumps at MF DOOM, but stops midair)

MF DOOM: What the-

Black Manta: WHAT?!

(Suddenly Black Manta is flown away)

Black Manta (fading): AAAAAAHHHHHH!

MF DOOM: What the fuck just happen?!

??: Well… I can explain!

(MF DOOM and Adramelech turn to see an orange-skinned woman with some sort of head-tail that is blue and white striped and wears sleeveless dark blue robes)

MF DOOM: Are you my partner?

Alien lady: Nope… I can tell by the force.

MF DOOM: Like the Jedi shit?

Alien lady: …Yeah

MF DOOM: …Neat

Adramelech: Okay Miss Ahsoka Tano! Just sit down and relax!

Ahsoka: Uh… how do you know my name?

Adramelech: Uh… Because I sent out the invites?

Ahsoka: So you're the one who brought us here?

Adramelech: Not really… but yes! I was the one who picked you guys!

(Ahsoka pulls out a lightsaber)

MF DOOM: Now hold on… he still owns me a bag of Doritos!

Ahsoka: …And?

MF DOOM: Once he gets me my bag, you can murk him!

Adramelech: You know I’m still here right?

MF DOOM: GET ME MY BAG OF DORITOS!!!

(Adramelech rolls his eyes and puffs out in a cloud of smoke)

(We cut to a medium-length dark brown hair girl who wears a camouflage tank top, black rider pants with gray metal designs and red knee pads, and black rider gloves reading the superful help sign. She picks up a card and reads it)

Biker girl: … “Your partner is about to fly straight into the sign”. Wha-

(Mereoleona flies straight into the sign)

Biker girl: WHAT THE HELL!!

Mereoleona: HAHAHA!!! Is that all you got!

(Nightmare suddenly appears up in the air)

Nightmare: AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Meroleaona: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Fire Magic: Calidus Brachium!!!!

(Flames surround Meroleaona’s fist as Nightmare’s Soul Edge and her fist collide)

Nightmare: AAARRRGGHHH!!!!

Meroleaona: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(The force between the colliding sends them back and the biker girl even further into a forestry area)

Biker girl: Ow…

??: Hey… are you okay?!

(The biker girl looks up to see a girl with long black hair and wears a white sleeveless dress with red and blue Ainu-inspired designs)

Biker girl: Uh… I’m good!

(The biker girl quickly gets up)

Biker girl: Uh… my name is Akira Kazama.

??: I’m Nakoruru! Nice to meet you!

(Explosions can be heard as Meroleaona and Nightmare continue to fight)

Nakoruru: If they continue to fight… the forest will be destroyed and soon the island!

Akira: How can we stop them!?

Nakoruru: I’m not su-

??: YOSH!!

(Quickly, Yoshimitsu jumps out of the air and cuts Nightmare’s hand with the sword sending it flying)

Nightmare: ARR!?!

(Nightmare falls down as Yoshimitsu celebrities for his victory)

Akira: Well-

(Meroleaona punches Yoshimitsu into the ground. She then catches the falling Soul Edge in style)

Nakoruru: Wha-

Akira: She’s so cool!!

Meroleaona: WHO GOES THERE!!

Akira: OH SH-

(Meroleaona quickly jumps right in front of them and snarls at them)

Meroleaona: Who are you?

Akira: Uh… I might be your partner?

Meroleaona: My partner? How do you know?

Akira: From this card! (Pulls out the hint card and shows it to her)

Meroleaona: Hm… (Looks at Akira and Nakoruru) HAHAHA!! I see it now! I’ll make you both excellent warriors!!

Nakoruru: Wait! But I’m not your-

(A fire paw plops on her head and lifts her up)

Nakoruru: AHH!!

Akira: NAK-

(Another fire paw grabs Akira’s head and lifts her up to. The paws with the girls then surround Meroleaona)

Akira: HEY! Let me go!

Meroleaona:  Nah…

(She then walks towards Yoshimitsu and grabs him with a fire paw. She then walks where Nightmare was, but instead of a monstrous knight, a young man with long blond hair in silver amour is lying down)

Meroleaona: Hm?

Silver knight: Uuuhhh…

(The knight slowly opens his eyes)

Silver knight: I’m… free? I’M FREE!!

(The turns to see a smirking Meroleaona)

Silver knight: Were you the one to save me?

Meroleaona: Hm… I guess…

(The knight knees in front of her)

Silver Knight: I, Siegfried Schtauffen, is forever in your debt!

Meroleaona: Hmp… 

(A fiery paw grabs Siegfried’s head)

Siegfried: Huh?!

(The paw lifts Siegfried and groups him with the rest of the group)

Akira: She got you to?

Siegfried: Yeah…

(Meroleaona begins to walk with the four pretty much on her back. However, tall and lean-built man with short black hair, three scars straight over his right eye, the number "69" tattooed on his left cheek as well as a blue-striped tattoo running across his left cheek. This man wears a white shirt, a black kosode, a black long skirt, white socks, and wooden sandals. He points a sword at Meroleaona, who snarls at him)
69 man: Stop right there! Let those innocent people go and drop that devil sword. The man points at Soul Edge, which Meroleaona is holding)

Meroleaona: These “innocent people” are my partners! 

69 man: I don’t think that's how it works!

Siegfried: Hey! You should probably listen to him and drop the sword!

Meroleaona: Why?

Siegfried: Because it turned me into that freak and it would try to consume your soul!

Meroleaona: Nah, I won’t let that happen to me!

69 man: You should listen to your “partner”!

Meroleaona: (Points Soul Edge to the man) I’ll tear you to shreds!

69 man: Sighs… Fine, if you want to do this… Reap! Kazeshini!!

(The man’s sword turns into two kusarigama with two scythe blades on each stick chained together. He then spins the weapon and rushes Meroleaona. She points Soul Edge at him but freezes for a second as she hears something)

Creepy voices (in Meroleaona’s head): ASSAAAAHHMMJKAKKAA!!!!

Meroleaona: What?

Creepy voices (in Meroleaona’s head): ASSAAAAHHMMJKAKKAA!!!!

(Meroleaona shakes her head, drops the sword, and uppercuts the man right in the chin, almost knocking him out)

69 man: Agh….

Meroleaona: Hmp… how do you like that?

69 man: Ow…

(Meroleaona shrugs before a fiery paw grabs the man and groups him with the others. She then picks up Soul Edge and starts moving from this scene)

Akira: So… new guy? What’s your name?

69 man: …Hisagi… Shūhei Hisagi…

Meroleaona: Aw… you guys introducing yourself!

Hisagi: Let me go, woman!!

Meroleaona: Nah! You're now a part of my group and we will conquer this race together!

Hisagi: That’s not how this works!

Akira: I don’t think she cares

Meroleaona: Damn right!

(We cut back to the stands as Adramelech puffs back with a bag of Doritos)

MF DOOM: Alright!

(MF DOOM grabs the bag and opens it up. He pours the entire bag into his mouth and eats all the damn Doritos)

Adramelech: …

MF DOOM: What?

Adramelech: That was a family-sized bag!

(MF DOOM shrugs)

Ahsoka: How long do you plan on holding us here?

Adramelech: Till your partner comes. Until then… you have to stay here!

Ahsoka: Tsk…

??: So… I’m not the first one here?

(Adramelech turns and sees Tōsen arrive)

Adramelech: Ah Tōsen! Technically you're the fourth here, but Ahsoka flung Black Manta away and technically no one is here yet since none of your partners are here yet.

Tōsen: Hm… I thought he would be here already…

Ahsoka: Who are you referring to?

Tōsen: My partner

Ahsoka: You know your partner?

Tōsen: Yes

Ahsoka: Why didn’t you seek him?

Tōsen: Because… we have a… trouble history together and-

??: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(The group turns their heads to see Juila and MK running for their lives)

MF DOOM: What the?

Julia: THERE’S A HUMAN SQUIRREL CHASING US!!!

Adramelech: A human squirrel?

Squirrel Girl: Hey ya!

Julia : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Squirrel Girl: I didn’t need to freak you out like that!

Julia: Get away you freak!

(Squirrel Girl gives her puppy eyes… or squirrel eyes in this case)

Julia: EW!EW!!

MK: Hehe…

Julia: This isn’t funny!!

(Adramelech claps his hands, gathering attention towards him)

Adramelech: Congrats! Julia and MK on being the first pair to get here!!

(Suddenly, confetti flies over Julia and MK, leaving both of them confused)

MK: So… are you the host of this… race?

Adramelech: Nope! It’s someone you're probably familiar with!

MK: I swear to god if it’s Chris Mclean… I’m killing myself!

(Adramelech waves his hands and a cloud of smoke puffs up and a man with brown hair and wearing a white shirt, a green jacket over it, and some jeans emerges from the smoke and smirks)

Adramelech: Welcome our host, DON!!

Don: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!!! I’m your host Don and with me is the demon, Adramelech!!

Adramelech: Devil! Not a demon!

Don: Right…

MF DOOM: Wait… why is the acronym the TUPAC race??

(Both Don and Adramelech shrug)

MF DOOM: So there’s no explanation?!?!

Don: Hey man! Are you acting like we named the show?! We’re just the hosts!

MF DOOM: Wait… but Adramelech said he picked us?

Don: Well I’m the face of the race! Adramelech is kinda like the Doctor or Mr. Orc of this competition!

Adramelech: Nice to feel wanted… and don’t compare me to that racist Mr. Orc!

Don: Uh… moving on! Julia and MK! You both earn a special advantage for the next challenge!

Julia: Ooo! What is it?

Don: Can’t say as production has yet to approve the next challenge!

MK: WHAT?! 

Don: Yeah… apparently this is just the pilot.

Julia: So you guys just kidnap us for a show that may not even happen!

Don: …Yes!

Julia: I’m suing!

Don: Good luck with that! 

Julia: Augh!

Don: Well, meanwhile, the Masterminds-

MK: The what?

Don: Your team name!

MK: Oh…

Julia: You know… that’s a good name for us!

MK: Yep!

Don: Ahem! Anyway, the Masterminds for right now will be given a private cabana along with the next four teams that get here! 

Julia: Yes! 

(The Masterminds walk towards the private cabanas, which were there this entire time)

MF DOOM: We had cabanas this entire time?

Adramelech: Yeah

MF DOOM: I did not see them the entire time I’ve been here!

Adramelech: That’s your problem! 

(While that is happening, Coyote and Tangle enter the scene)

Coyote: So… this is the middle of the island.

Tangle: WHOA!! (Points to Ashoka) I think that’s my partner!

Ashoka: Me?

Tangle: No! Her!

(Squirrel Girl pops behind Ashoka)

Squirrel Girl: ME?!

Tangle: YEAH!!

Squirrel Girl: REALLY!! Will you be my friend too!?

Tangle: YES!!

Squirrel Girl: OMG!!

(Both of them celebrate like they won first place lol)

Coyote: I’m not sure that’s how this whole partner thing works…

Squirrel Girl: You're just jealous!

Don: No, no! Mr. Coyote is very correct as the teams are predetermined!

Tangle and Squirrel Girl: Aw…

Don: But Mr. Coyote is also very wrong because you guys are a team!!

Tangle and Squirrel Girl: YEPPIE!!

Coyote: Huh… I guess the third time's the charm.

Don : Congrats to the Longtails on being the second team to make it! 

Squirrel Girl: The Longtails?

Tangle: I think it’s because of our very long tails!!

Squirrel Girl: Oh cool!

Coyote (in his mind): Hm… seems like teams can be people from different universes…

(The Longtails head towards the cabanas as Don and Adramelech hear trumpets)

Don: What is that?

Adramelech: The best tag team in the history of professional wrestling!

(Kofi and Big E clap and Xavier plays his trumpet as they march to the stands. Jesse is also there with them,  covering his ears)

Kofi: NEW DAY ROCKS!

Big E: NEW DAY ROCKS!

Xavier : New Day Rocks in trumpet

Don: Hey!

Kofi: NEW DAY ROCKS!

Don: HEY!!!

Big E: NEW DAY ROCKS!!!

(Don shoves a big rock into Xavier’s trumpet, shutting him up)

Xavier: NOOOO!! FRANCESCA!!!

Jesse: Dude… thank you! That damn trumpet was fucking loud as shit!

Don: It was my pleasure! Though your partner is not here so you have joined the others in the stands!

(Jesse looks as MF DOOM and Ashoka wave at him)

Jesse: Ah man…

(Jesse goes to sit down)

Don : The New Day! Congrats on being the third team to get here!

Xavier: Yes sir!

Don: Head over to the cabanas! That’s your reward for getting here for right!

Kofi: There better be pancakes!

Big E: AND BOOTY-O’S!!!

(The New Day march and dance their way towards the cabanas)

MF DOOM: Man… Booty-O’s sound good right now!

(Coyote and Jesse look at the big man in disbelief)

Don: Only two more teams left to get the all-inclusive private cabanas! Who will get them? That question will be answered soon!

Jesse: Who's he talking to?

Adramelech: The audience…

Jesse: AHH!! A DEVIL!!

(Adramelech rolls his eyes as Jesse screams. As Jesse slowly calms down, Fiore and Dee walk toward the stands)

Don: Welcome Fiore and… uh… (Look at Dee) Who are you?

Dee: Huh?

Don: Like I know everyone’s name and their basic appearance and you don’t match anything in my memory.

Dee: Uh…

Don: Hm… let me see… What’s your name?

Dee: …Dee…

Don: Hm, Dee…  Dee…  (eyes widen in realization) DEE DEE!! Like… Dee Dee from Dexter's Laboratory!?!

Dee: Yeah… (rubs the back of her head) That's me!

Don: Uh… (Looks up and down) Excuse my language but WHAT THE FUCK HAPPEN?!!?

Dee: War…

(Don's jaw figurative drops to the floor before shaking his head)

Don: Wow… uh… Wile E!

(Brief silence)

Don: WILE E. COYOTE!!

(Coyote looks around and then points to himself)

Coyote: You're talking to me?

Don: Yes!

Coyote: My name is just Coyote.

Don: What? Really?

Coyote: Yep!

Don (whispering to Adramelech): Dude… what’s going on? Why does Dee Dee look so different and why does Wile E. Coyote only refer to himself as Coyote??

Adramelech (whispering): So… like… days after you sign your contract, production said the Warner Bros team sucked ass and needed a new team but I know my future co-host liked that team so I compromised and used the super depressing versions from Scoob and Shag and Tails gets Trolled!

Don (whispering): But those are fan fiction! Not even official media!

Adramelech (whispering): …Why do you care that much?

Don (whispering): Because they were my favorite team!

Adramelech (whispering): Eh… you’re get over it!

Don (whispering): sighs… Just tell me their team name so we can get this over with.

Adramelech (whispering): The Fiction!!!

(Don just looks at the devil in disappointment before facing Dee and Coyote)

Don : Sorry for the confusion, Dee and Coyote! But you, the Fiction, are the fourth team to get here and will be rewarded with a private cabana!

Coyote: Is there weed there?

Don: Uh… yeah there’s weed?

Coyote: Bet!

Don (in his mind): My entire childhood… ruined by a single line of dialogue!

(Coyote leaves and heads towards the cabanas. Dee starts to follow him but…)

Fiore: Where do you think you're going?

Dee : Huh?!
Fiore: You heard me!

Dee: Uh… well… I found my partner so I’m going to cab-

Fiore: No! We're going to the cabana!

Dee:  But-

Fiore: Dee! Remember that we agree that we share rewards!

Dee: I don’t think that’s allowed with this reward…

Fiore: Well… I guess none of us can use the cabana then!

Dee: Uh-

??:  Fiore!! Leave her alone!! 

(Fiore freezes in place as Alec walks into the area with Franklin and Edward following behind. Dee slowly runs towards the cabanas)

Fiore: Oh great… you’re here!

Alec: I see you’ve learned nothing from our season!

Fiore: Learn what? You're a sore loser!

Alec: Me? A sore loser? Says the one who lost to an old woman!

Fiore: When did you get so snappy?

Alec: Since you betrayed me!

Jesse: Yo! This is crazy!

Franklin: A grown-ass man is fighting a child!

Alec: This child is a manipulator!

Don: And your partner! 

Alec: I know!

Don: Oh… Well, the Father and Daughter Duo, is the fifth team to get here!

Fiore: Ugh! Can you at least change the name!? 

Adramelech: Nah… the fans of Disventure Camp loved your relationship!

Fiore: A relationship that’s in a ditch! 

Adramelech: And I don’t care!! Enjoy the cabana!

Alec: Sighs…

(Alec begins to walk towards the cabanas)

Don: But wait! There’s more!

Alec: What is it now?

Don: Since Franklin is here, another team has been found!

Franklin: My partner’s here?

(Franklin looks around)

Franklin: It is that big motherfucker? (points at MF DOOM)

MF DOOM: Did he just call me Biggie??

Jesse: I think you just misheard.

Adramelech: Nah… he's not your partner! Reread your very useful hint!

Franklin: Sighs… (Pulls out his hint card) “This ain't chemistry – this is art. Cooking is art.” …How the fuck is this post to help me?!

Jesse: Wait… that sounds like something I would say!

(Franklin looks at Jesse)

Franklin: That’s my partner!??!?

Adramelech: Yep!

Franklin Saint: How the fuck am I post to work with this!?

Jesse: HEY!

Adramelech: Figure it out, my boy! That’s not really my problem!

Don : Congrats on the Drug Dealers for also being the fifth team here! You guys and the Father and Daughter duo will share the fifth cabana!

Fiore: Oh hell no!

Don: Oh hell yes! Plus, weren’t you the one that wanted to share a cabana?

Fiore: Ugh!

Jesse: Man… I don’t share with the brat!

Don: Stop complaining or I'll give the cabana to another team!

(Both teams shut up and head straight to the cabanas)

(Meanwhile, Zoe and Asuka talking as they walk behind Lili, who is covering her ears)

Lili (In her thoughts): Can they shut up for one second!?

Zoe: Hey! What’s that?

(Zoe points at a fallen Black Manta, but they don’t who that is)

Asuka: Hm… what is this?

Zoe: I think it’s some sort of suit of armor?

Lili: (turns around) What are you guys doing!!

Asuka: LOOK! A suit of armor!!!

Lili: …I have several in my room!

Zoe: Uh…

(Black Manta’s body starts to move)

Zoe: It’s moving!!!

Asuka: IT’S HAUNTED?!

(Black Manta’s head looks up and his eyes glow red)

Zoe: Uh…

Lili: RUN!!

(They run away as Black Manta gets up and starts chasing them)

(Over to cabanas, Julia and MK are chilling)

MK: Ah… This is the life!

Julia: Yep…

(Julia then smells something)

Julia: EW!! Why does it all a sudden smell like that hippie camp I went to!?

MK: You went to a hippie camp?

Julia: Well, I had to go for a video back then when I was pretending to be one.

(The smell gets worse)

Julia: Ugh! This is ruining my cabana!!

(Julia gets up and exits out of the cabana. She sniffs and her nose leads her to the fourth cabana, the Fiction’s cabana)

Julia:  HEY!!! YOU'RE STICKING UP THE PLACE!!!!

(Dee looks up with a gas mask on)

Dee: Uh… you don’t need to be yelling that loud…

Julia: I don’t care! You guys are trying to smoke us out!

Dee: Uh… One, it’s just him smoking

(Points at Coyote, who is smoking a fat blunt right now)

Coyote: He…he

Dee: Second, he’s just enjoying himself!

Julia: Then why are you wearing a gas mask?

Dee: Um… because I’m straight edge… and I don’t want to inhale any of it…

Julia: If you're straight edge, then why allow him to smoke weed??

Dee: (Shrugs) It’s life, not mine…  almost all of my friends smoke it as well…

Julia: Well it smells awful and it needs to be stopped!

(Suddenly, Xavier runs to the cabana Dee is in)

Xavier: HEY! STOP SMOKING WEED!?

Coyote: Why dude?

Xavier: BECAUSE THE VAPORS ARE CAUSING BIG E TO REVERT TO HIS GOSPEL GIMMICK!!

Big E (In the background): BROTHERS AND SISTERS!! WE COME TO PRAISE THE LORD AND HIS FINE WORKS!!

Kofi (In the background): BIG E!! GET A GRIP!! YOU'RE NOT IN 2014 ANYMORE!!!

Coyote: Man… that might just be his true nature!

Xavier: No! 

Coyote: Oh well then… (takes a puff from his blunt) Not our problem!

Xavier: DUDE!!

(Uh… we cut from that fuckvest to the stands, as MF DOOM gets more bored and annoyed)

MF DOOM: First one here… but going to be the last one here!!

Ashoka: I feel you…

(Tōsen nods)

MF DOOM: Devil dude! Get us some cheetos or fritos!

Adramelech: No!

MF DOOM: Come on now!

Adramelech: Just wait like… another hour!

MF DOOM: Another what?!

??: HELP!!

(Adramelech turns to see Zoe,  Asuka, and Lili running for their lives)

Adramelech: What the-

(The girls split and a laser beam is fired right at Adramelech, sending him flying)

MF DOOM: OH SHIT!

(Black Manta jumps into view)

Black Manta: Guess who’s back!

MF DOOM: Oh this motherfucker is back!

Black Manta: I don’t know what happened last time but I will take my revenge! 

(Ahsoka raises her hand at him but Black Manta fires a laser beam from his helmet at her)

Tōsen: Hmp!

(Tōsen grabs Ahsoka and flies away from the beam as it destroys the stands)

Black Manta: Nuisances…

??: MANTA!!

(Black Manta turns to see someone we haven’t seen for a while… Aquaman)

Black Manta: Aquaman! It’s been a while! How’s the wife and kid?

Aquaman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

(Aquaman jumps at Black Manta and starts brawling with each other)

MF DOOM: DAMN!

Ahsoka: We should stop this!

Tōsen: Hm… no… this is destiny!

(Miku, Andy, and Fuuko run to see the two fighting)

Miku: Aquaman! Beat his ass!!

(Andy giggles and Fuuko tries to hide a snicker)

Andy: You got him, dude!

(Aquaman gives them a thumbs up before Black Manta punches him away. He pulls two blades and jumps at Aquaman. Aquaman pulls out his trident and prepares to counterattack. Before anything cool happens, magic seals appear on Aquaman and Black Manta and they stop in their tracks)

Andy:  Wha-

Fuuko: It's like they are stuck in time or something like that!

Adramelech: Yep… pretty much that.

(Adramelech walks towards them and faces them)

Adramelech: Don’t want future teammates killing themselves! Bad for the brand you know.

Fuuko: THEIR TEAMMATES!!!

Andy: Hmm… that makes sense on why he started to speed up after reading his hint…

Adramelech: DON! Where did you go?!

Don: Uh…

(Don reappears behind a tree)

Don: I’ve been here the entire time

Adramelech: Sure…

Don: Anyway… um anyway to stop them from colliding when they unfreeze?

Edward: Got it!

(Edward claps his hand and touches the ground. The ground lights up and forms a wall between Aquaman and Black Manta)

Don: Nice!

(The rest of the contestants clap)

Andy: That’s pretty cool!

Adramelech: It was pretty alright…

Edward: Uh… thanks?

Don: Since so many teams came in, we got to congrats them

Adramelech: No… no we don’t! There were five teams that got here before them and therefore no special reward!

Don: Yeah, true, but… They aren't the last ones!

Adramelech: Right… they don’t have to worry about a disadvantage.

Edward: What’s the disadvantage?

Adramelech: Don’t worry about it!

Don: Because we don’t know yet!

Edward: Great… 

Don: Anyway… (looks at Asuka and Lili) Congrats on being the sixth team to arrive!

Lili: Hmp! We should have been first if I hadn’t slowed down!

Asuka: I could say the same thing!

Don : With how they act, you can say they're the Rivals!

Adramelech: …

Don: Come on! That was good!

(Adramelech shakes his head)

Don: Fine… let's move on to the most random team ever!! 

(Edward looks at the other contestants and back at his hint)

Edward: Uh…

Don: Having a hard time figuring out your partner? 

Edward: Uh-

Don: It’s okay! We can just skip you for right now!

Edward: Wait-

Don: Let's welcome the Musicians! MF DOOM and Hatsune Miku!!

MF DOOM: Finally!

(MF DOOM jumps down from the stands and shakes the earth)

Don: Whoa!

Miku: Whoa!

Adramelech: He he… he shakes the earth because he’s-

(MF DOOM grabs the devil’s neck and violently shakes him)

Adramelech: AH!! I’M SORRY!! I’LL GET YOU FORTIOS!  

Miku: Can I get cheetos too?

(MF DOOM glares at Adramelech)

MF DOOM: You heard the girl! Get two family-size bags of Fritos and Cheetos!

(Adramelech gives him a thumbs up and puffs out of there)

Miku: YA!! Cheetos!

Don : Enjoy your highly processed corn chips! Meanwhile, let's welcome the Negators, Andy and Fuuko Izumo!

Andy: I’m ready to crush this competition!

Fuuko: Yeah… he he…

Don: Edward… have you figured out your partner yet?

Edward: No! My hint just says they're taller than me!!

Don: Does it say how tall?

Edward: No! This hint sucks!

Zoe: Wait! I think… I might be his partner!

Edward: HUH?! 

Don: Yep! You're correct!

Edward: HUH!?! 

Don : Let's welcome the Randos to the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!

Edward: …

Zoe: Can we get a better name? Like every other team has a theme and cool name but we’re just the Randos?

Don: Because that is the theme!

Edward: Wha-

Don: Anyway, until Aquaman and Black Manta unfreeze, that’s it from me!

Edward: Wait! Hold on! 

(Adramelech poofs back in with a bag of Fritos and cheetos)

MF DOOM: YES!

(MF DOOM grabs the bags and gives the bag of Cheetos to Miku)

Miku : Cheerful noises

(They proceed to inhale the entire family-size bags)

Adramelech: …

Edward: Hey devil dude! What the hell is our theme?!

Adramelech: …

Edward: Hey! Don’t ignore me!

Adramelech: I think it’s time to release those two!

(Adramelech snaps his fingers and the magic seals on Aquaman and Black Manta disappear, unfreezing them and causing them to hit the wall)

Aquaman: Ow… fuck!

Black Manta: DAMNIT!!

Don: Congrats to you both!

Black Manta: ??

Don : Aquaman and Black Manta, the Ocean Enemies, are the last team to be safe from a disadvantage! 

Black Manta: Oh hell naw!! I’m not working with him!

Aquaman: Yeah! I’m not working with a psycho! 

Don: Well… you're a team now and you both got to deal with it!

Aquaman: Not cool!

Black Manta: You better not cost me anything or else?

Aquaman: Or what?

Black Manta: I’ll send you where I sent your son!

(Aquaman gets very pissed off as Black Manta walks off)

Don: Uh… There are only four teams that have yet to come and I can’t wait to show them to you!

Ashoka: …

Tōsen: …

Don: I know you poor folks are waiting patiently for your partners… but I think they will be here anytime soon… hopefully.

Ahsoka: …

Tōsen: …

Adramelech: Hey… do you want Wingstop?

Don: Yes! I’m starving! 

Adramelech: Neat!  (Look at the others) Do you guys want Wingstop!?

Ahsoka: …

Tōsen: …

Adramelech: I think they want some! See ya!

(Adramelech peaces out)

Don: Wait… Wingstop is going to take forever! 

Tōsen: …Hm

Ahsoka: I sense a disturbance in the force!

Tōsen: You too?

Don: Wha-

(Flame columns appear behind Don)

Don: HOLY-

(Out of the flames, comes the hunking lioness, Mereoleona, with Soul Edge over her shoulder)

Don: Wow… that’s a cool entrance if you say so myself!

(Mereoleona smirks at him before placing Soul Edge on the ground. She leans on it as she looks Don straight in the eyes)

Mereoleona: Damn right!  I assume you're the head honcho here!

Don: Uh… Yep!

Mereoleona: So… You would allow my group here?

Don: Uh… What group?

Mereoleona: My group is right here!

(Fire arms extend from her back and Hisagi, Nakoruru, Yoshimitsu, Akira, and Siegfried emerge, each with a fire paw on their heads)

Don: HOLY!?!

Mereoleona: You like it huh?

(Before Don can respond, Tōsen teleports in front of him and points a sword at Mereoleona)

Tōsen: Let my lieutenant go!

Mereoleona: Hm? Don’t you mean former lieutenant? Besides, I won’t give a traitor what he wants!

Hisagi: How do you know??

Mereoleona: Just because I was silent during all of your backstory talk does not mean I wasn’t listening!

Hisagi: Oh…

Don: Alright guys! You don’t have to fight! Let's solve this civilly okay?

(Mereoleona snarls at him)

Don: Miss Vermillion, which one is your favorite so far?

Mereoleona: Hm…

(A fire paw with Akira comes forward)

Mereoleona: This one… I think?

Akira: Let me go! 

Don: Well that's your partner! Can you please let the others go!?

Mereoleona: …Fine

(The flame arms disappear and drop the other captured contestants on the ground)

Nakoruru: I’M FREE!!

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Siegfried: …

Akira: I’m stuck with her!?

Mereoleona: You got a problem with that?

Akira: Yes!

Don : With both of your fiery attitudes, you both make the perfect fit for the Fighters!

(Mereoleona smirks upon hearing this)

Don : Next up is Hisagi and Tōsen! The Soul Reapers!!

Hisagi: So… we’re working together again…

Tōsen: Seems like it

Hisagi: And here I thought I was able to move on… sighs

Don : Next up is the Ninjas, the nature freak Nakoruru and ninja Robin Hood Yoshimitsu!!

Yoshimitsu : Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Nakoruru: Same here! 

(Ahsoka leaves the stands and heads toward Siegfried)

Ahsoka: So… since we are the last ones, that makes us a team.

(Siegfried nods)

Don : You both are correct! You both are the Light and the Dark ! Or the Light in this case?

Siegfried: What do you mean?

Don: Production wants you and Nightmare to switch every other episode.

Siegfried: No way! I’m not wielding that forsaken blade!

Don: Too bad! You got to… soon… not now anyway.

(Adramelech pops back in with a huge paper bag)

Adramelech: I GOT THE WINGS!

Mereoleona: DEVIL!!

(Mereoleona rushes to Adramelech)

Adramelech: WAIT!!! AH!

(Mereoleona punches Adramelech straight in the jaw and sends him straight into the ground. The now defeated Adramelech lies in a crater, Yamcha style. The Wingstop fails to the ground.)

Don: …

Tōsen: …I wanted to try some…

Don: Well folks! That’s all the teams for the Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!! Which one is your favorite? Which one is not your favorite? Who cares! Because we are just starting! Tune in next time… if production actually approves this…

Akira: Wait… if they don’t approve… Does this mean we were kidnapped for nothing?!

Don: …Maybe. 

(Don shrugs as he walks away and the screen fades straight to the into… that is happening at the ending and is not even finished... lol.)

Chapter Text

Don : Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! To The Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race! Last time, um…

(The camera cut Adramelech still in a crater)

Don : Yeah… Anyway, 15 teams that came out of their own volition to compete in a race across the world! Let the races begin!!

Intro that does not exist

Don : We are still on the island as your top five… six teams get ready to board a first class private jet set to fly to Tokyo!

MK : Is this really first class?

Julia : Yeah… it’s a little small

Don : Sighs… Spoiled much?

Julia : No, just expect better

(Don rolled his eyes as he heads towards a set of propeller planes)

Don : The teams that were middle in the road last episode will be required to fly themselves to Tokyo! (Towards the mid teams) Does anyone know how to fly?

(Only MF DOOM raises his hands)

Don : Good enough for me! 

(Don walks away as the teams look very concerned. He heads towards the lower ranked teams, who are just chilling on the beach.)

Don : The teams that sucked and got here last are currently waiting for their Spirit Airlines plane to get here!

Akira : How is a plane going to land here?

(Don shrugs)

Don : By the way-

(The private plane flies off)

Don : The challenge starts now!!

Akira : Wait-

Don : That’s what happens when you place last!

(Don jumps on a boat and heads off as the contestants are stuck there. Meanwhile, we cut to the middle ranked contestants trying to figure out to how to use the planes)

Black Manta : How do you turn this thing on!

Aquaman : Maybe this?

(He presses a button and the plane does not start. Black Manta just looks at him)

MF DOOM : SO LONG SUCKA!!!

(Aquaman and Black Manta turn their heads as the Musicians fly out the island)

Miku : BYE AQUAMAN!!

Aquaman : BYE MIKU!!

Black Manta : Why are you saying bye to the ENEMY! 

Aquaman : She’s my opponent, you're my enemy!

Black Manta : Get your head out of your ass! 

Aquaman : No you get your head out of your ass!

Black Manta : GRRR!!

Aquaman : GGGRR!

(Andy and Fuuko look at the scene in disbelief)

Fuuko : Uh…

Andy : Sheesh… How the hell are they going to work together?

Fuuko : I don’t know… Hey! I figured out how to turn this on!

Andy : HOW!

Fuuko : Oh, there was a manual on the plane.

Edward : Thanks for that!

Asuka : Same!

(Edward and Asuka run off and leaving the Negators in confusion)

Andy : SHIT!!

Fuuko : Quick! Get in!

(They jump in the plane and start to fly off the island. We cut Zoe trying to turn the plane on)

Zoe : Hmm…

Edward (Far away): QUICK!!

Zoe : Oh Edward! Where-

Edward : There should be a manual in there! Read it quickly!

Zoe : HEY! Don't be bossy with me!

Edward : I don’t care! Just read the damn manual!

Zoe : Tsk!

(Zoe looks and quickly finds the manual. She quickly reads it and manages to turn it on as Edward jumps in)

Edward : Alright! Lets go!

(The Randos fly off and the Rivals follow them as they exit the island.  Black Manta looks up as those teams left)

Black Manta : GODDAMIT! AQUAMAN! YOU'RE SABOTAGING ME!

Aquaman : Um… no? 

(Aquaman turns on the plane)

Aquaman : See!

(Black Manta grumbles to himself)

(We cut to the top-ranked teams in their private jet)

MK : Ah (sips some soda or something) Honestly this jet surpassed my expectations!

Julia : I think you need to up your standards

MK : Or you're just a hater!

Julia : Whatever!

(Over to the The Father and Daughter Duo)

Fiore : …

Alec : …

Fiore : Come on! You can’t just ignore me!

(Alec continues to read his book and ignores her)

Fiore : …

(We cut to The New Day as they eat cereal… why?)

Kofi : I can’t believe it! Authentic Booty O’s!

Xavier : Just like how momma Woods made them!

Big E: Wait… I thought Booty O’s was made in a factory?

??: The hell you taking about?

(The New Day look up at the Drug Dealers, Franklin and Jesse, who giving judgemental looks)

Jesse : Dude… everytime I hear you say Booty O’s, I think you're actually eating ass!

Xavier : It’s actually cereal!

Big E: This cereal will make sure you ain't booty after eating it!

Franklin : I’m not eating anything with booty in its name!

(Franklin turns to see Jesse eating a bowl of Booty O’s)

Franklin : …

Jesse (With cereal in his mouth): What?  They said it won’t make me booty!?

(Franklin shakes his head in disappointment. The Longtails, Squirrel Girl and Tangle, walk up to the New Day)

Squirrel Girl : Can we have some?

Kofi : Sure!

(The New Day pour them a bowl of Booty O’s)

Tangle : WOO… (eats a spoon of Booty O’s and her eyes light up) THIS IS GREAT!

Squirrel Girl (At Julia): Hey! Best friend! Do you want a bowl!

Julia : Ew… no! Get that sugary cereal away from me!

Squirrel Girl : Ah…

Coyote : I take that!

(Coyote takes the bowl and sits down at his seat)

Squirrel Girl : Thanks Mr. Coyote! 

Coyote : Just Coyote!

Dee : Hey… is that good?

Coyote : It’s… okay…

Dee : But you're chugging the entire thing?

(We seeing Coyote pouring the entire bowl in his mouth)

Coyote : Uh… 

(Dee giggles as move back to the Masterminds)

MK : (looking through a window) Uh…

Julia : What is it?

MK : I see that big dude and Miku on a propeller plane!

Julia :  No way! (looks through the window) DUDE!! They are going to get there before us!

Xavier : HOLY! MIKU!!!

(Xavier pushes the Masterminds away and puts his face on the window)

Xavier : OH MY GOD!

(Xavier waves his hand at Miku and Miku waves back. She then reaches for something in her pocket)

Xavier : Huh… what’s she-

(Miku pulls out a AK-17)

Xavier : OH SHIT!!! MIKU GOT A GUN!!

(Everyone duck underneath tables as Miku fires at the plane)
Pilot (through a speaker): Hello passengers! I’ve got some bad news! We are getting shot at by the world's most popular Vocaloid! 

Julia : Thanks Captain Obvious!

Pilot (through a speaker):  Good news! The plane is bulletproof!

(The contestants sigh in relief. We cut Miku and MF DOOM)

Miku : Ah… Miku’s gun isn’t working!

MF DOOM : Hm… the plane must be bulletproof!

Miku : What are we going to do!?

MF DOOM : Don’t worry about it, future DOOMkick! I got a solution! 

(MF DOOM gives her a rocket launcher)

Miku : OOOOOO!!!

(Back inside the plane)

MK : Uh… IS THAT ROCKET LAUNCHER!!

Jesse : WHAT-

(Miku fires the rocket at the plane. Before the rocket hits the plane, Coyote grabs Dee and jumps through the window. Big E tackles Kofi and Xavier through the plane to the sky as the plane explodes. Coyote looks at the explosion as Tangle and Squirrel Girl jump out of it)

Squirrel Girl : WEEEEE!!!

Tangle : Look Mr. Coyote! We’re flying!

(Coyote rolled his eyes as he pulled a book out of nowhere. Golden strings appear around Coyote’s fingers as the book opens and flips through it’s pages. Coyote then moves his hand and a massive creature made of magma rocks pops up and lands in the ocean)

Dee : AHHH!!!

(The Fiction land on the creature safely)

Coyote : Well… that was something…

Dee : WHAT THE FU-

Big E : AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

(The New Day and the Longtails face plant on the creature)

Tangle : That was fun!

Xavier : My Booty O’s!!! 

(Kofi and Big E comfort Xavier as Coyote looks at the explosion )

Coyote : So… who’s telling the hosts that a kid died in that plane?

(Silence)

Coyote : …

(We cut to the low ranked teams as they see a plane glitch and lands on the beach)

Akira : What the-

(The plane door opens and we see a walking teardrop)

Audience: WOO (clapping intensifies)

Ahsoka : What the-

Nakoruru : Did anyone hear that?

(The teardrop points to the plane)

Akira : Uh… I think they want us to go in?

(Mereoleona shrugs before going in the plane with Yoshimitsu following her)

Nakoruru : I’m not too sure if I want to go…

Akira : I think it’s safe to go! Come on!

(Akira gestures to Nakoruru to come in with her and Nakoruru follows her. Ashoka and Siegfried walk in the the plane after and door closes)

Pilot (through a speaker): Welcome to Sprint Airlines! I’m your pilot, Gelatin and I'll be taking you to Tokyo! Sit tight as we’re taking off… now!!

Ashoka : Wha-

(The plane blasts off)

Siegfried : AHHHHHH!!

(Ashoka and Yoshimitsu get thrown across the plane. Akira and Nakoruru hold tight on their seats. Only Mereoleona is chilling, but realizes something)

Mereoleona : Wait… where the hell is Hisagi and Tōsen?!

(We cut to Don as his boat arrives in Tokyo… only to see the Soul Reapers there already)

Don : What th- HOW!?

Hisagi : Oh hey Don! 

Don : How are you guys here already??

Tōsen : Umm… we just fly here.

Don : Wha- Oh right… I forgot you guys are the only ones that can fly. Anyway… go do the next part of the challenge. I’m going to pretend that you guys didn’t get here yet!

(Hisagi and Tōsen looked at each other and then look at the sign to find out of the next challenge)

Don : Welcome to Tokyo, Japan! Where sushi, anime, and samurai came to be! Or least that’s what weebos think! The city is filled with lights, food, and business owners who hate tourists!

(We cut to an old man next to a sign that has Logan Paul X out. We cut back to Don with a charismatic smile)

Don : When contestants land in Tokyo, they must find a sushi restaurant and eat a full 10 course meal starting with normal dishes before going to a more… crazier side.

(We cut to a sushi chef cutting up a Spheal… damn. We cut back to Don)

Don : After having their stomach’s filled, they head straight to the Tokyo Dome to face a wrestler in a tag team match. They must pin their opponents in a hopefully time full matter and straight to the middle of Shibuya crossing for the Checkpoint! Your finish line for today’s challenges!

(A plane can be heard in the background)

Don : Looks like we have our next team inbound!

(The plane lands and the Musicians jump out)

Don : Congrats, the Musicians, on being the second team here!

MF DOOM : Second team?

Don : Yep! We got a team that can just fly faster than planes!

Miku : That’s not fair!

Don : Eh… they probably slow down… probably.

(Adramelech poofs in)

Don : Oh hey, Adramelech! I’ve been wondering where you’ve been!

Adramelech : …

Don : Uh… Adramelech?

Adramelech : You left me in a crater!

Don : Well… the show must go on!

Adramelech : Not cool man… not cool!

(We cut to the Ocean Enemies, who are flying across the Pacific)

Black Manta : We’re too far!! 

Aquaman : The hell you want me to do?! This is how fast this damn plane goes!

Black Manta : Argh! (Looks at the other planes) I got an idea!

Aquaman : An idea? Wait… NO!

(Black Manta fires his laser at one of the planes. The plane explodes)

Aquaman : YOU BASTARD!!

Black Manta : What? I did a good thing!

Aquaman : YOU JUST KILLED TWO PEOPLE!! 

(Black Manta shrugs)

Aquaman : Your a heartless-

(Black Manta punches and knocks out Aquaman)

Black Manta : That will stop your yapping!

(The plane starts to dip down since Aquaman was flying it)

Black Manta : OH-

(Black Manta grabs the yoke and begins to steer the plane)

Black Manta : Sighs

(Suddenly a burning man flies straight towards the plane)

Black Manta : WHAT THE FU-

(The man lands on top of the plane. Some of the flames clear to reveal Andy’s face. Fuuko pops out behind Andy’s shoulders)

Black Manta : What! Get off!

Andy : Nah! You destroyed my ride and I think it’s far that your’s got destroyed as well!

Fuuko : Get his ass!

Black Manta : NO!

(Andy punches and destroys the engine of the plane)

Black Manta : You idiot! You realize you are going down as well!

Andy : Nah!

(Andy precedes to shoot blood from his feet and flies away with Fuuko)

Black Manta : …Fuck

(The plane crashes in the ocean.)

(We cut from that as the Fiction, the New Day, and the Longtails are still on the magma creature)

Squirrel Girl : Then I punch Thanos straight to the moon! 

Tangle : That’s so cool!

Coyote : …

Kofi : They have been talking forever!

Dee : I just want some peace and quiet!

Tangle : Me and Sonic beat up a bunch of robotic zombies!

Squirrel Girl : You fought zombies too!?

Xavier : agh…..

Kofi : Even Xavier is tired of them!

(Coyote looks up and sees the Randos and the Rivals planes passed them)

Coyote : Sighs … Got here first and now we must suffer…

(Coyote then sees Andy shooting through the sky)

Coyote : Huh…  neat

(We cut to the Soul Reapers, who are in a sushi restaurant)

Hisagi : That was… amazing!

Tōsen : This was an exquisite meal!

Hisagi : This is way better than anything in Soul Society

Tōsen : Well you never had Hikifune before she was promoted to the Royal Guard.

(The sushi chef is left stunned. Maybe because he’s stunned by his skills or the fact that they enjoyed the awful ingredients that he was force to serve or maybe it's because he’s a bleach fan. Who knows!)

(We cut to the outside of the sushi restaurant as the Soul Reapers run out of there head towards the Tokyo Dome. We zoom out to Don looking shocked.)

Don : Uh… I severely underestimated them!

Adramelch : What do you expect from Shinigamis??

Don : I don’t know! I thought they were nerfed!

(Adramelech shrugs)

Don : Anyway, as the Soul Reapers speedrun this leg of the race, the Negators are the second team to get here and the second team to get here without the provided vehicle!

(We see the Negators land in front of Don)

Don : Uh… Andy… what happened to your clothes?

(Oh yeah… I forgot to mention Andy is naked)

Andy : Oh… they got burnt in the explosion!

Don : EXPLOSION!!!???

Andy : Yep!

Fuuko : That Black Manta guy tried to kill us but we’re unkillable!

Andy : YEAH!

Don : Um…. damn… Anyway! The Musicians are currently enjoying a nice 10-course sushi meal! Let's see how they're doing!

(We cut to MF DOOM and Miku eating their third course… some regular sushi.)

MF DOOM : I don’t see how this is challenging?

Miku : Yeah… Miku likes free food though!

Sushi Chef: Oh… you see!

(The sushi chef gives them a set of California rolls)

MF DOOM : This… this is just a California roll! 

Sushi Chef: A California roll made in Japan!

(MF DOOM just looks at him before eating the roll)

MF DOOM : IT’S THE SAME SHIT!

Miku : Yum!

(Miku muches)

Sushi Chef : How about this one?

(The chef gives them each a piece of sushi that has something red on top. They each grab a piece and eats it)

MF DOOM (with his mouth full of food): Uh… what is this?

Sushi chef: Dolphin!

(Both of the Musicians look at the chef in horror)

MF DOOM : What…

Miku : Oh no…

Sushi Chef: More specify… dolphin dick!

(MF DOOM smashes the sushi chef head into a bloody bulb within two frames of him saying that)

MF DOOM : FUCK!! MIKU!! WE GOT TO HID THE BODY!

Miku : OH NO!!!

(We cut to them outside the now in flames sushi restaurant. Don walks next to them)

Don : Uh…

MF DOOM : I think he burnt something…

Miku : …

Don : I… You know what you both move on! 

(MF DOOM throws a thumbs up and the Musicians run off from their crimes)

Don : Well… The Rivals and the Randos just landed and are now off to the sushi restaurants while the Negators are knee deep in the sushi challenge!

(We see the Rivals and the Randos entering a sushi restaurant and immediately serve them miso soup. We then see the Negators eating the dolphin sushi)

Fuuko : Dolphin ): 

(We then go back to Don)

Don : Now… where is that first class jet?

(Brief silence)

Don : Any second now

(More brief silence)

Don : Ok what the-

(A plane crashed right in front of him. But this wasn’t the first class jet. It was the Sprint Airlines plane with the low ranked teams. The door opens and Teardrop leaps off)

Gelatin: Thank you for choosing Sprint Airlines! Come back when you lose again!

(Mereoleona leaps off and shakes Teardrop hand)

Mereoleona : Thanks for transporting us to our destination!

Teardrop : (:

(Akira and Nakoruru jump off the plane)

Akira : Honestly… not that bad of a ride… despite doing 360’s all the time!

Nakoruru : I don’t think the others would argue

(They turn around to see Ahsoka, Siegfried, Yoshimitsu stumble and fall out of the plane)

Yoshimitsu : Tired Incomprehensible cyborg ninja noises

Mereoleona : Weaklings!

(Teardrop nods her body in agreement)

Don : Uh…

(Mereoleona turns to see Don)

Don : I have no clue what's going on but somehow the low rank teams got here before the first ranked teams! 

Akira : What do we do now?

Don : Go to the sushi restaurants and enjoy a 10 course meal!

Mereoleona : Yes! A feast!!

(Mereoleona grabs Akira)

Mereoleona : Let's go!

Akira : AHHHHHH!!!

(Mereoleona runs off with Akira as Don looks at them and then the camera)

Don : Well… as the Fighters move on and the Ninjas and the Light recover, we are still awaiting the first ranked teams. That plane was really expensive!

(We cut to the ocean as the magma creature walks towards Japan. But we don’t care about that as we dive deep into the ocean as we see the Ocean Enemies arguing)

Black Manta : You bastard! You ruined everything!

Aquaman : What do mean I ruined everything!? You knocked me out!

Black Manta : I’ll kill you!

Aquaman : NO! I’LL KILL YOU!

(They continue to argue as we cut to something more interesting.)

(We see the magma creature getting closer to the coast of Japan. Two Japanese business men see the creature)

Business man 1: AHHHH!!! GOJIRA!!

(The second business man slaps this friend)

Business man 2: DUDE! That’s not Gojira!

Business man 1: Then what is it!

Business man 2: IT'S THE KAIJU FROM THE NEW GOJIRA MOVIE!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!

(The business men and other citizens start freaking out as the magma creature lowers it's hand to let the Fiction, the Longtails, and the New Day down)

Coyote : Thanks Garry!

Voice in the magma creature: FUCK YOU!!!

(The creature goes back in Coyote’s book)
Dee : Uh…

Coyote : Don’t worry about it…

Kofi : No no no! That thing’s name is Garry!?

Big E : And why did it speak!?

Coyote : …

(Don pops up)

Tangle and Xavier : AH!

Don : Congrats on scarring the locals but I have noticed that you guys got here very late… and no jet.

Squirrel Girl : It exploded!

Don : What!? You're lying!?

Tangle : No! (Grabs Squirrel Girl’s face) Does this face tell you she’s lying?!

Don : …

(Brief silence)

Kofi : Dude? Are you good?

Don : Yep! Just go find a sushi restaurant and eat a special 10 course of sushi!

Coyote : Uh…

(The teams soon leaves Don and heads toward the challenge)

Don : AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

(We cut to the Musicians as they run to the Tokyo Dome. Once they enter the dome, EMTs rushed past them with a man on a stretcher)

Miku : Oh! I hope he’s okay!

MF DOOM : Eh… professional wrestlers get life threatening injuries all the time and get back up. Those guys are some strong motherfucker…  probably from the cocaine.

Miku : Can I-

MF DOOM : No

(Miku is imminently disappointed. Anyway, they ended up in a entrance way to a wrestling ring)

MF DOOM : I guess this is where I knock a man out…

Random dude: Oh god… not another one?

Miku : Huh?

Random dude: You're on those TUPAC teams, right? 

MF DOOM : Uh… yeah?

Random dude: Oh god… I don’t want to lose another wrestler.

Miku : Eh?

MF DOOM : What the hell is going on?!

Random dude: I’m the booker of NJPW and the producers of TUPAC-

MF DOOM : Uh the hosts never called it TUPAC

Booker of NJPW : …The Totally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race asked us to provide wrestlers for a challenge. What we didn’t know is that you all are superhuman! We just lost our newest signing from AEW due to shinigami! THEY KILLED JACK PERRY!!

MF DOOM : Who the fuck is Jack Perry?!

Miku : An AEW wrestler formerly known as Jungle Boy!

MF DOOM : How do you kn-

(Miku is suddenly in AEW merch)

MF DOOM : …Anyway, just give us the person you hate the most.

Booker of NJPW : Oh… that’s not a bad idea! NAITO!! YOUR ASS IN THE RING! NOW!!!

(A blond hair man lazily slides into the ring)

MF DOOM : So this our opponent?

Miku : Wait… this guy looks important. Are you sure we should fight him?

Booker of NJPW : Yeah go ahead. Fuck that guy! 

(The Musicians shrug as they square up with the wrestler. Naito then widens his eyes and taunts them)

Naito : I-

Miku : MIKU PUNCH!

(Miku uppercuts Naito straight to the sky. The booker looks up and smiles with a tear in his eyes)

Booker of NJPW : I’m free… I’M FREE!!

(The Musicians look et bro with confusion and shrug before heading out)

??: GEDO!!

Booker of NJPW : Oh shit… heeeeyyy Tanahashi-san…

Tanahashi : You sacrifice our main box office draw for this?!

Gedo : Yes!

Tanahashi : >:(

Andy : Hey! We’re here for the challenge!

Tanahashi : Good! Your opponent is Gedo!

Gedo : HUH!?

(Tanahashi throws Gedo in the ring. Gedo looks up and sees Andy flexing his arms)

Fuuko : Andy... can I fight?

Andy : Sure thing!

(Andy tags Fuuko in and she jumps in the ring)

Gedo : Sighs … this should be eas-

(Fuuko knocks him out)

Andy : That’s my girl! 

(The Negators jump out of the ring and head out of the Tokyo Dome)

Tanahashi : Deserved

(We cut to the middle of the busy Shibuya crossing, as Adramelch is waiting and not a single person thinks it's weird that a demon is right there. Anyway, the Soul Reapers pop up)

Adramelech : Huh…  you're the first here… neat.

Hisagi : Is that it?

Adramelech : Yep… that’s it

Hisagi : Thats-

Adramelech : I know… it's anticlimactic…  go and reconcile and understand each other. 

Tōsen : Wait-

Adramelech : Don’t care, get out of my face!

(Adramelech shoos them away as he waits for more teams)

Hisagi : Ugh… asshole…

Tōsen : Hisagi… Iets go to that bakery there…

Hisagi : Uh… sure…

(They both go to some random bakery in Shibuya.)

(We cut to outside of a sushi restaurant as both the Rivals and the Randos both get there at the same time)

Asuka : Hey Zoe!

Zoe : Hey!

Lili : If you don’t mind us going in first-

Edward : Hell no!! We got here first!

Zoe (whispers): Actually… we got here at the same time…

Lili : I don’t care! It’s my right!

Edward : “My right”?? It’s my right to beat your ass!

Zoe : Hey… you wouldn't hurt a girl… right?

(Edward looks at Zoe and give her a “yes… yes I would”)

Zoe : Oh…

(Lili pushes Edward on the ground)

Lili : See you later, shorty!

Edward : I’M NOT SHORT!!

(Edward lunges at Lili and they begin to fight)

Zoe : Guys!

Asuka : Eh… don’t bother. Lili is a hard head and so seems your friend.

Zoe : Uh…

(Edward and Lili’s fight breaks the sushi restaurant’s door)

Asuka : Oh… that’s… not good.

(Zoe and Asuka follow the hotheads straight to the sushi bar)

Sushi chef:  HEY!

Lili and Edward : WHAT!?!?

Sushi chef: Stop fighting or no sushi!

Lili and Edward : …

(They both sit down and Zoe and Asuka follow suit)

Sushi chef: (Sees Zoe and Asuka) Uh…

Edward : They’re a part of our team.

Lili : Whatever the short man said!

Edward : Grr…

Asuka : Can you guys stop antagonizing each other!

Zoe : Yeah!

(The sushi chef puts four small bowls of miso soup in front of them)

Lili : Uh… what is this?

Asuka : Lili! You didn’t know what miso soup is??

Lili : No?! Is it some peasant food?!

Asuka : >:[

Edward : I don’t know what this but I think this taste good!

Lili : Of course you say that peasant!

Zoe : HEY!! STOP INSULTING MY PARTNER! 

Lili : No

Zoe :  >:[

Edward :  >:[

Sushi chef: Uh… Sushi!

(The chef places four plates with a small rice ball with a piece of tuna on top)

Lili : That’s it?

(The chef nods)

Lili : Pathetic!

(The sushi chef just looks at her)

Zoe : Do you like anything?

Lili : Yes.

Zoe : Oh go-

Lili : Everything that is French!

Zoe : :( 

Asuka : >:[

Edward : What the hell is French!

Lili : offended noises

(After they eat that small piece of sushi. The chef gives them a bigger piece of the same sushi)

Lili : Isn’t this a bigger piece of the last one?

(The chef nods)

Lili : Lazy…

(Asuka rolls her eyes as they eat their sushi)

Asuka : Wait (looks at Lili and Edward) ARE YOU GUYS EATING SUSHI WITH FORKS?!?!?!

Edward :  Um… yeah?

Lili : Do I look like a peasant to you?!

Asuka : Your post to use chopsticks!

(Edward looks down on the bar and sees a pair of chopsticks)

Edward : Oh these! (Picks them up) Uh… how am I going to use this?

Zoe : Like this!

(Zoe shows Edward how to use chopsticks)

Lili : I refuse to use such a tool!

Asuka : You better or else!

Lili : Or else what?!

Asuka : I shove a pole straight through your ass!

Lili : Please do!

Asuka : What?

Lili : What?

Edward : What?

Zoe : What? No seriously, what are you guys talking about?

Sushi chef: Uh… I did not need to hear that…

(The chef then gives them three pieces of a California roll. Asuka looks at the sushi in disappointment)

Sushi chef: Look…  I’m forced to make this….

Asuka : I understand

(The group eats their sushi. Lili is still eating with a fork however she starts to gag… for some reason)

Lili : Hot!

Asuka : Huh?

Lili : Spicy!

Sushi chef: But… there’s nothing spicy in there?

Lili : Lies!

Edward : Can’t handle your food?

Lili : Shut up!

(The sushi chef rolled his eyes and gives them the… dolphin dick sushi)

Asuka : Uh… what’s this?

Sushi chef: Dolphin dick

(The groups jaws drop to the floor)

Edward : I don’t know what a dolphin is

(Edward casually eats the sushi)

Zoe : …

Lili : You're disgusting!

Edward : Whatever!

Zoe : Here it goes…

Asuka : Yeah…

(They both eat the sushi while Lili looks in disgust)

Lili : Disgusting! I’m not-

(Asuka shoved the sushi in Lili’s mouth)

Lili : AAJNAJKJAKN

(Lili unfortunately swallows the sushi)

Lili : YOU BASTARD!!

Asuka: Be grateful, otherwise we lose!

Lili : Tsk!

(The chef gives them a different piece of sushi, this time with a blue and white meat)

Asuka : Uh…

(Asuka looks at the rest of the group, who are already eat the sushi, before eating it herself)

Lili : AHINJANJMJJIJ!!!!!!!

Edward : coughing noises

Zoe : You guys good?

Lili : SO SPICY!!!

Sushi chef: Uh… there's no-

Lili : AHHHHHH!!!

Zoe : Uh… it's not spicy? Edward?

Edward : It… has a weird aftertaste to it

Asuka : What is this blue and white meat?

Sushi chef: Spheal

(The chef pulls a picture of a spheal)

Zoe : Oh! It’s so cute! Oh… we eating a cute animal…

(Lili falls out of chair and breathes out fire from her mouth)

Lili : SJNJNSJJSJ

Asuka : Oh my god!!

(Edward leans toward Zoe)

Edward (whispers): Hey, let's continue this without them!

Zoe (whispers): But…

Edward (whispers): They are one of our many opponents! We can just finish this challenge and move on and not worry about elimination!

Zoe (whispers): … fine

(The sushi chef gives them each a piece of sushi with a live fish. The Randos cringe from seeing it)

(We cut to Don)

Don : As the Randos try to disgust some of the worst sushi ever, the Fighters have already finish the sushi challenge and are at the Tokyo Dome!

(We cut to a wide shoot of the Tokyo Dome as someone gets sent flying to the sky)

??: YYYYYYYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHOOOOOWOWWWWW

(To Don)

Don : Well.. that was fast! Anyway, the New Day and the Fiction are catching up with the Randos in the sushi challenge while the-

Aquaman (background): FUCK YOU!

Black Manta (background): FUCK YOU!

Don : Uh

(Don turns around and sees the Ocean Enemies coming up from the ocean)

Don : Took you guys long enough!

Black Manta : We would have gotten here faster if I wasn’t slowed down by this fool!

Aquaman : Says the fool!

Don : I don’t care! Just go do the challenges and try to catch up! You don’t want to be last on the first leg!

(Black Manta and Aquaman stare at each other)

Black Manta : GGRRR!!

Aquaman : GRRR

(Don roll his eyes)

(We cut to Shibuya as Adramelech waits for more teams)

Adramelech : Man…

(The Fighters run up to Adramelech)

Adramelech : Neat

Mereoleona : Alright! We got here first!

Adramelech : nu-huh

Meroleona : What?!

(Adramelech points to a table of a shitton of bread with the Soul Reapers, the Musicians, and the Negators are sitting around and eating the bread)

Mereoleona : Grr…

(Miku and Fuuko wave at Akira, who waves back)

Mereoleona : GRRR!

(We cut to the Ninjas as they face a man that looks like a power ranger. The wrestler is currently flipping around Yoshimitsu)

Yoshimitsu : annoyed cyborg ninja noises

Nakoruru : I don’t know who Justin Linger Tiger is!!!???

Yoshimitsu : annoyed cyborg ninja noises

(Yoshimitsu gets kicked in the face by Justin Linger)

Nakoruru : Tag me in!

(Yoshimitsu quickly tags Nakoruru in and she enters the ring)

Nakoruru : Alright! 

(She hums as suddenly a falcon sweeps in, grabs the wrestler, flown him out of the ring)

Ref that happen to be there: Uh… The Ninjas win! 

Nakoruru : YES!!

Yoshimitsu : cyborg ninja noises

Nakoruru : Yeah… I know it was kinda cheating…

Yoshimitsu : Cyborg ninja noises

(Nakoruru shrugs as we cut to the Light as Siegfried gets suplex in 4k)

Ahsoka : Cringing noises

(We cut to the Randos as they finally finished their last sushi piece)
Zoe : FREEDOM!!!

Edward : My stomach hurts…

(They look at Lili, whose still fighting for her life)

Asuka : Wait! You just going to leave us??

Edward : Yes

Asuka : But-

Edward : We’re on opposite teams dumbass

Asuka : Sigh… far

Zoe : Sorry… I hope your able to catch up!

(The Randos quickly run out of the restaurant and start their journey to the Tokyo Dome)
Zoe :  …

Edward : Hm? Are you good?

Zoe : Sighs… I just feel bad leaving those two like that.

Edward : Eh… Lili kind of deserved it

Zoe : ED!!

Edward : Ha (notices something) Hold on!

(Edward claps his hands and touch a wall, making a barrier behind them)

Zoe : What the-

(Three thuds can be heard) 

Kofi (Behind a wall): OW!!

Xavier (Behind a wall): What the hell dude!

Edward : HA! So long losers!

(The Randos run straight to the Tokyo Dome)

(We cut to the Light as Siegfried is out of the ring is visibly broken)

Ahsoka : Sieg… are you good?

Siegfried : No! 

(The female wrestler who destroyed Siegfried’s body stares at Ahsoka)

Ahsoka : I will defeat you for it's the Jedi-

(Ahsoka gets kneed in the face and precedes to get her ass beat. We cut to the Randos as they enter the main area of the Tokyo Dome.)

Edward : Hey! We’re here for- HOLY SHIT!!

Zoe : Oh my…

(We see the female wrestler strangling Ahsoka as Tanahashi notices the Randos)

Tanahashi : Um… good luck!

Zoe : HUH!?

Tanahashi : Uh your opponent is Guila (points to the female wrestler that just took Ahsoka’s life)

Edward : SHE JUST KILLED SOMEONE!!

Tanahashi : Yes

Zoe : THAT'S NOT NORMAL!?!?!?

Tanahashi : Yes

Zoe : CAN WE GET SOMEONE ELSE?!?

Tanahashi : No

Zoe : WHY!??!

Tanahashi : Because I need to my get back!

Zoe : Wha-what?!

Edward : Sighs…

(Edward claps his hands and place it on a floor as he creates a spear)

Edward : Here we go…

Zoe: …

(The Randos slowly enter the ring with Edward entering first)

Zoe : Oh! I just realized something! Can you hold her off for like a minute?

Edward : Wha-

Zoe : THANKS!!

Edward : I DIDN’T AGREE-

(Edward gets elbow in the face. As Edward gets his ass beat, Zoe rummages through her pockets)

Zoe : Come on… where is it.

Edward : AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zoe : I should…

Edward : ZOE!! HELP ME!!!

Zoe : Hold on!

Edward : SHE RIPPED MY ARM OFF!!!

Zoe : Ah! 

(Zoe pulls out a card and some kind of device)

Zoe : I got our victory ticket!

Edward : MY LEG!!!

(Zoe notices Edward slowing crawling away from Guila, who has Edward’s metal leg in her hand. She turns and glares at Zoe)

Zoe : Uuuuhhhh…
(Zoe slashes the card through a device and suddenly a green Parasaurolophus pops up behind her)

Guila : …

Zoe : Go Paris!

(Paris the Parasaurolophus roars and swings her tail at Guila, knocking her to a wall)

Tanahashi : …what the fuck

Edward : …

Zoe : WAY TO GO PARIS!!

Paris :  Happy noises

Ref: Alright… Guila has been knock out and is unable to continue!

Zoe : We did it Edward!

Edward : …

Zoe : Ed?

Edward : My… FUCKING… limbs!!!!

(We cut to Shibuya)

Adramelch : Man… I’m bored

(Behind him is the finished contestants loudly consuming bread and pastries)

Fuuko : Mmmm… this is good…

Miku : Miku agrees!

(Miku throws an entire loaf of bread in her mouth and consumes the entire thing)
MF DOOM : …Goddamn…

Mereoleona : …

Akira : Hey… you haven’t touched your mochi ball?

Mereoleona : …

Hisagi : I’ll take it!

Tōsen : Don’t

Hisagi : Ah… 

(Fuuko leans towards Andy)

Fuuko (whispering): So… what are they?

Andy : Hmm?

Fukko (whispering): I said what are they?

Andy : GAY?!?!?!

Fuuko : What?!

Hisagi : HUH!?!

Tōsen : Huh?

Mereoleona : (Wheezing) HA! Ain't that funny, Akira!

Akira :  Uh…

Yoshimitsu : Laughing ninja noises

Mereoleona : See! The weirdo thinks it's funny!

(Everyone looks at Yoshimitsu as Nakoruru walks towards them)

Nakoruru : Hey-

Andy : WHEN THE FUCKED DID YOU GUYS GET HERE!!!

Tōsen : I didn’t sense them getting here…

Nakoruru : We just got here in like five minutes! Just ask Adramelech!

(Adramelech gives them a thumbs up)

Mereoleona : We’re jousting with you guys!

Andy : NO WE WON’T!!!!

Mereoleona : Well I was joking with yall

(Mereoleona laughs as she slaps the backs of the ninja)

MF DOOM : (Eats a piece of bread) Mmmm… tastes like fritos…

(We cut inside of the Tokyo Dome, as the New Day enters)

Xavier : My nose…(holds his nose)  Ow… goddamn Ed had to make a wall in front of my face!!

Kofi : Yeah… my shoulder kind hurts because of him!

Big E : Next time we see him, we give him an Unicorn Stampede!!

Kofi : Yeah because -

Xavier : NEW DAY ROCKS!!

Big E: NEW DAY -

Tanahashi : Please… shut the fuck up!

(The New Day suddenly bow to Tanahashi)

Xavier : Sorry Tanahashi-san!

Tanahashi : Wha-

Big E : Your a legend!

Tanahashi : Uh… thanks but leave the appreciations later. You got a challenge to do!

Big E : Right!

(The New Day slide in the ring)

Tanahashi : Be prepared… this wrestler is pretty brutal

Kofi : The New Day is always ready!

Xavier : Hey… did you guys hear Russian music?

(The Russian music gets louder as a blond muscular man walks in swing his arms like a conductor)

Big E : Wait… why do I recognize this man…

Kofi : Wait!

Xavier : ILJA DRAGONOV!?!?!?!?

Big E : OH SHIT!?!? THE MAD DRAGON!?!?!?

(Ilja looks at the New Day with… the look)

(Yeah…. They fucked)

Big E : Uh… Xavier you got this!

Xavier : HUH?!?

(Xavier sees Kofi and Big E step behind the ropes)

Xavier : Wait! HOLD-

(Ilja hit Xavier with a running uppercut. Xavier falls down hard on the mat as Ilja prepares for another move)

Big E : OH NO!!!!

(Ilja hits Xavier with a forearm and another one and another one and another one)

Kofi : MY BOY!?!

Big E : We got to do something!!

Kofi : HOW!!!???

Big E : We could distract him

Kofi : But we’re faces!!!

Big E : NOT TODAY!!

(Big E and Kofi jump inside the ring and run at Ilja. Before they could do anything, Ilija hit Kofi with a forearm and jumped and kicked Big E at the side of his head. Ilja pumps himself up and flexes his muscles to the camera. However,  Xavier rolls him up into a pin)

Ref: 1! 2! 3! THE NEW DAY WIN AND I’M GOING TO RUN FOR MY LIFE!!!!

(The ref runs out of the ring straight out of the Dome)

Tanahashi : OH SHIT!!!

Xavier : WE DID IT!!!

Kofi : BECAUSE NEW DAY ROCKS!!

Big E : NEW DAY-

Tanahashi : GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE OR YOU DIE!!

Xavier : Huh?

(The New Day slowly turns around to see Ilja already up and angrily stares at them.)

Xavier : OH-

Ilja : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tanahashi : RUN!!

(Tanahashi runs for his life)

Big E : Hey… Ilja… calm down and-

Ilja : AAAAAHHHH!!!! THE MAD DRAGON WILL END YOU!!!

??: NOT ON MY WATCH!!

(Suddenly Siegfried comes out of nowhere and blocks Ilja)

Siegfried : Go fellow competitors! I’ll hold him off!!

Xaiver : HOLY SHIT!!! SIEGFRIED FROM SOUL CALIBUR?!

Kofi : I didn’t know he was a part of this show?

Siegfried : Huh?!

Xavier : Now that I think about it… I haven’t really seen any of the other teams outside of the Randos and the teams in the plane with us.

Big E : Now it's not the time for this!

Siegfried : He is right! Unfortunately my partner is dead so I can’t complete the challenge but you can! Go forth!

Xavier : Right!

Kofi : Good luck, Siegfried!

(The New Day run out the Tokyo Dome as Siegfried and Ilja stand off)

Siegfried : FACE ME, MAD DRAGON!!!!!!

Ilja : GLADLY!!!

(We cut to the New Day as they run towards Shibuya)

Don (through a speaker): Hey, contestants!!! I just want to let you guys know that there’s only two spots left for safety! No worries!!

Kofi : Crap! We got to go!

(We cut to the Randos)

Edward : Can your monster go faster!!

Zoe : Paris is not a monster! SHE’S A DINOSAUR!!! 

Edward : Okay… can you dino-whatever go faster!

Zoe : No! This is how fast she goes!

Edward : Well.. you better hope the other teams are slow!

Don (through a speaker): By the way! The Fiction just made it off screen so only one team can be eligible for safety!

Edward : Damn…

(We cut to the outside of the Tokyo Dome as it goes up in flames as Ilja walks out of the building.)

Ilja : …The Mad Dragon… ARISE!

(We cut to the New Day as they run. Russian music can be heard)

Xavier : Do you hear… Russian music?

Kofi : Oh no!

(The russian music gets louder as Ilja runs at them)

Ilja : AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Big E : Hold on!!!

(Big E quickly grabs his teammates and starts running really fast, leaving a trail of rainbows)

(We cut to the Randos they near Shibuya)

Zoe : Come on! We’re so close!

Paris : Dino noises

Edward : Do you hear… music?

Zoe : Huh?

Big E (background): THE POOOOWWWEEERR OF-

(The New Day pass the Randos in a trail of rainbows)

Big E : POOOOSIIIIVVEEETYYYYY!!!!!!!

Zoe : HUH!???!!

Edward : WHY IS THE MUSIC GETTING LOUDER!!!???

Zoe : Ed, what the hell-

(Zoe turns her head to see… it)

Zoe : Huh?

Zoe : Wha-

(Ilja runs through Paris, causing the Randos to fall off)

(We cut to Adramelech, still bored. However, his face gets more energy as he sees the New Day)

Adramelech : Nice! We can end this stupid challenge and-

(The New Day run pass Adramelech)

Adramelech : What the- Wait… why do I hear Russian music?

(Adramelech sees Ilja speeding straight towards him)

Adramelech : OH SHIT!

(Suddenly Mereoleona jumps behind Adramelech and throws a punch at the Mad Dragon who throws a punch. Their punches clashed, sending a powerful shockwave across Shibuya, destroying multiple windows and glass panels. After the dust settles, both fighters are left unscathed)

Mereoleona : FINALLY!! A WORTHY OPPONENT!!!

Ilja : LIKEWISE!!

Adramelech : Nah

(Suddenly, chains wrap around Ilja and he gets dragged… somewhere)

Kofi : Wha- what did you do to him???

Adramelech : Sent him to the underworld… no big deal

(The contestants look at the demon in shock as Don walks in the scene)

Don : Alright, contestants! That concludes this leg of the race! Though I feel like we’re missing some content…

Dee : Yeah… like where’s the Longtails at?

Don : Uh…

(We cut to the Longtails in an arcade. They have been stuck there for hours trying to get plushies. Anyway we cut back to hosts and the contestants)

Don : Yeah…

Dee :  Huh?

Adramelech : Anyway… we don’t have enough budget for the Ocean Enemies, the Rivals are having a medical problem, the Light died in the middle of a challenge, and the Randos got Ilja’ed.

Coyote : Wait… what about the other teams that died?

Don : Eh… they died before they had a chance to complete so they won’t have to worry about elimination!

Coyote : But they're dead?

Don : We can just revive them at the end!

Dee : WHAT??!!

Adramelech : But if we don’t reach our voting goals, we will lose our budget and lose the ability to revive contestants!

Fuuko : WHAT!!!

Don : Wait what??

Adramelech : Yep! If we get more than five votes, we can revive contestants as soon as possible! But if we get five or less, our poor poor contestants will stay dead.

Fuuko : This seems like this is very illegal. 

Adramelech : Don’t care! Anyway, it's up to viewers to determine your fates!

Don : Uh… that’s all for this episode of theTotally Ultimate Peculiar Awesome Competitive Race!! Tune in next time where we go to the Middle East!!!

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