Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sometimes it was good to keep it simple, no toys, restraints, gags or whips. Just the two of them, just fucking. Honestly Blitzø couldn’t imagine this being any better. Stolas writhed underneath him, hips shuddering with every flick of his tongue. He could still taste the bird’s last orgasm and he could tell from the feathered thighs clamping around his head that he was nearing his next.

“Fuu-uuckkk,” Stolas moaned, “P-Please Blitzy.”

Blitzø grinned, he loved when he reduced his lover to two word sentences, like he had fucked the eloquence out of him.

“Just one more, pretty bird, and then I’ll give what you want.”

He could only respond by gasping and pulling Blitzø closer by his horns, grinding his cunt against his face in an increasingly erratic rhythm. He was so close, so close. Blitzø grinned as he thrust his tongue in further and toyed at his entrance with his claws. Stolas arched his back as he cried out, his orgasm making his entire body shudder. Blitzø only pulled away once he was sure his partner had stopped cumming, wiping away what he hadn’t been able to swallow. He smirked at the demon breathing heavily beneath him. He had ripped the sheets beneath his talons and his eyes looked glazed over. Fuck he looked gorgeous like that.

Their relationship was still so new it had barely stepped out of the shadow of their full moon deal. Blitzø was glad he hadn’t walked away, that he had listened to his friends and not taken the Asmodean Crystal as the prettiest ‘stay the fuck away from me’ he had ever received. Honestly he still couldn’t believe that this beautiful, intelligent and crazy powerful demon saw him as anything more than a hormone fueled distraction.

Blitzø crawled up the bed, sitting cross legged next to his boyfriend. He began to pet his head gently, increasing pressure as his hand moved to the back of his skull. Stolas cooed fondly and leaned into the feeling. His eyes were still half closed, his smile stupid and love drunk. He was so sweet, how had Blitzø managed to snag someone so sweet?

They had been spending more time together and had been making a concerted effort that at least half of those times didn’t involve sex. Blitzø found himself collecting moments from these dates like trinkets. The sweet voice Stolas used to talk to his plants, the expression he made when he bragged about Via. He would stretch to reach a book in his library and Blitzø would spend days remembering how elegant and sexy he had looked. Then there was that sincere smile he would wear with shining eyes every time he told Blitzø he loved him. It made Blitzø feel something warm inside but was always followed by twisting doubts. Yeah he didn’t deserve those moments but he clung to them like so many other things he hadn’t deserved and eventually fucked up.

“Darling?” Stolas interrupted his thoughts, looking up at him with concern.

“Fuck Stols, sorry.” Blitzø quickly rearranged his body to press it against the other’s, looking up at him with an expectant grin. “Now where were we?”

“Hopefully you were about to tell me what had you so deep in thought,” Stolas replied, stroking down his horns.

“it’s fine, babe, I don’t want to ruin tonight.”

Stolas frowned, his head cocked to one side. “Tonight has already been wonderful. I would never say no to continuing of course, but only if I know that’s what you really want.”

Blitzø swallowed hard. He honestly would rather end their session here but that would just be the fuck up to unravel everything. He was barely keeping his head above water trying to be a good boyfriend in all those romantic and emotional ways, the one thing he could do was sex. That came easy to him, always had. At least when he wasn’t fucked up on drugs, insecurity and too little sleep all while trying to keep up with a succubus. Not that he ever explained that to her but again, he was a fuck up.

“But I haven’t even fucked you properly yet,” Blitz said, finger curling through feathers as he avoided eye contact.

“I feel very thoroughly fucked,” Stolas replied, tilting Blitzø’s head up to look at him. “Believe it or not, my love, I can live without dick.”

Blitzø snorted. “First time I’ve heard you say that.”

“Yes, well, I suppose that was easier to admit than that I couldn’t live without you,” Stolas said, a small, smile on his lips.

Blitzø couldn’t answer, he didn’t have words good enough to respond to that. Instead he kissed him, gently and softly. Stolas gasped before melting into it. He let his lips move against his beak before slowly pushing his tongue in. He stroked the top of his mouth, keeping his movements languid. His hands brushed through soft feathers and he ran a finger up and down Stolas' spine who had one hand curled around his horn and the other gripped around his thigh.

“Fuck, I let you distract me.”

Blitzø grinned in. “I like to be very distracting.”

Stolas stroked the insignia on his forehead fondly, his other hand trailing down to his tail. Blitzø purred in response, his eyes closed in bliss.

“I won’t let you off that easy,” Stolas said softly.

Blitzø’s eyes snapped open and he looked up at his partner anxiously.

“I don’t... is it ok if we just cuddle tonight?”

Stolas blinked at him. “Of course it is, my love, why wouldn’t it be?”

Blitzø sighed and let himself relax again into the other man’s touch. “I know I need to talk to you about what’s like going on with me, but I don’t want to- this is nice and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Why would you fuck it up? I’ve already told you tonight’s been wonderful and now I want to hear how you’re feeling. I like knowing your thoughts even the darker ones.”

Blitzø pet through feathers thoughtfully, picking his words carefully. “I guess I mean fuck it up for me? I’m not saying I don’t wanna talk to you and I’m not keeping some big secret. I just wanna spend tonight like this and get my thoughts in order so I don’t just spew any old bullshit and get defensive when you see through it.”

“That is... quite emotionally aware of you,” Stolas murmured.

“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“I would use the term ‘impressed’, rather than surprised.”

Blitzø leaned forward, nuzzling his face against Stolas's before placing a chaste kiss on his beak. Stolas hooted softly, pulling the blanket over both of them.

“I love you Blitzø.”

Blitzø smiled and snuggled closer, for the first time not second guessing those words or what his response would be.

“I love you too, Stolas.”

Chapter Text

The next morning Blitzø woke up first. He was still wrapped in Stolas' arms and he wiggled himself closer, breathing in the scent of his preening oil and the unmistakable scent that was just Stolas. When deeply asleep like this his snores became soft hoots, something Blitzø had filed away with his other collected moments.

It was warm and comfortable but it wasn’t long before he felt the tingle of unreleased energy in his legs and he knew he had to get up. He wiggled out of Stolas' arms and gently unfurled his tail which had been wrapped around the other’s thigh. Despite his best efforts his movements still woke his sleeping lover whose bottom eyes cracked open. His arms now empty, he reached out to pull him back into a tight hug. Blitzø caught his hand, giving his knuckles a gently kiss.

“Go back to sleep pretty bird,” he whispered.

Apparently still close enough to sleep not to argue, Stolas let his arm drop and his eyes close as he snuggled back into his pillow. Blitzø smiled at him fondly, tempted to ignore his building restlessness and cuddle back under the covers but his already bouncing leg had other ideas. He jumped off the bed, dressing in grey track pants and a black singlet before making his way to the kitchen.

He buried himself looking through the cabinet and fridge as if making up his mind what to make as if he knew more than one breakfast recipe. After he finished his ritual of indecision he pulled out the ingredients and started making pancakes. He had tea steeping and had a plate of pancakes ready by the time Stolas got up.

“Good morning, darling,” he yawned as he stretched both arms above his head.

“Mornin’ pretty bird,” Blitzø replied, looking away quickly when he saw how Stolas' robe slipped off his shoulders. He wasn’t even trying and yet he still so fucking seductive. “Pancakes and tea are already on the table for you.”

“Ooh Blitzy, you are just the sweetest thing,” Stolas cooed before nibbling at Blitzø’s neck and shoulders.

“Babe if you distract me like that I’m gonna burn my breakfast.”

“I just wanted to thank you dear.”

“If you thank me that much each time it’s gonna look like I do nothin for you.”

He’d said it jokingly but knew from the way Stolas had paused that he had heard the insecurity behind his words.

“Is that what you were thinking about last night?”

Blitzø sighed. “Sit down babe, we’ll talk over breakfast.”

They sat at the table, plates full of fluffy pancakes in front of them and neither saying a word. Stolas poured himself a cup of tea, breathing in its fragrance.

“Earl grey,” he remarked idly.

“I dunno if it goes with pancakes but you said it was energizing so I thought...” Blitzø didn’t finish his sentence before Stolas had reached over to grasp his hand.

“You are always so thoughtful, my love.”

Thoughtful? Blitzø was an arsehole, no one would call him thoughtful. The word made something snap and he was ranting about his doubts before he could stop himself.

“Am I? Am I really? I mean I don’t even think I’m doing the bare fucking minimum when I should be fucking worshipping you for putting up with a piece of shit like me. It’s not enough that your so far up the social ladder I usually wouldn’t even be allowed to shit in the same place as you. Plus you could literally turn me to fucking stone just with your eyes yet you act like it’s no big thing when I tie you up and call you a cock slut when I fuck you. I suck at this, ok? I suck at relationships and I am so fucking good at hurting people I love especially if they’re stupid enough to love me too. But you’re not stupid, you’re so fucking smart I think your brain has to be a maze while mine is just an empty fucking road. I know you don’t see how fucking incredible you are but you are way too good for me and part of me is just waiting for you to realise that.”

Blitzø let out shuddering breaths, not having realised he had started crying. Stolas, who had been listening, slack jawed, to his monologue wrapped him up in his arms, pulling him into his lap. He let him cry gently into his chest feathers.

“I didn’t realise you still felt like that,” he murmured, “Am I not doing enough to make you feel secure?”

“You’re doing more than enough, pretty bird,” Blitzø replied as he stroked his partner’s face, “And it is working, I’m having less doubts it’s just-"

He took a deep, calming breath, ignoring how it shook as he exhaled.

“You can’t fix me and no matter what I do I don’t think I can be completely fixed. I’m always gonna have doubts and insecurities and I’m worried that there’ll always be times they overwhelm me. I’m trying but I’m too damaged to expect that to all go away.”

“Oh my sweet love,” said Stolas, stroking one of his horns and gently kissing his face, “I know that. You and I are both haunted and those ghosts never disappear, but I know I find them easier to face with you by my side.”

“But you deserve better,” Blitzø tearfully insisted.

“I don’t know what any of us deserve. I was raised to believe I deserve the unwavering devotion of half of Hell and a lifetime bound to a woman who hated me.” Stolas' smile was warm but his arms tightened around Blitzø when he spoke of his ex-wife.

“What I do know is that I love you, I think you’re wonderful and you make me happy. And if I make you happy too then I think we deserve each other.”

Blitzø couldn’t respond, instead he burrowed his face further into Stolas’ feathers and gripped the back of his robe as he continued to cry. They sat together like that in silence, occasionally exchanging light kisses.

“Hey Stolas,” Blitzø said eventually, his voice hoarse from crying.

“Yes, Blitzy?”

“I think our breakfast is cold.”

Stolas chuckled, “I think you’re right. I do believe it will still be delicious none the less.”

He pulled Blitzø plate in front of them both to allow them both to eat.

“Thanks Stols and um, I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.”

Blitzø breathed in deeply before answering, “I know.”