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It was a dark and stormy night. Not a creature was staying in Elon’s 50000 krillion dollar mansion, besides him and his best friend, ANDREW HUSSIE. He’d had a crush on Andrew for quite some time now… his blatant racism and n-word usage drew Elon’s heart closer and closer everyday.
He is sitting with Hussie on his 5k gold table, watching him draw himself kissing underage girls. It is mesmerizing. “Hey Andrew…” Elon said, shyly.
“Huh? What?” says Andrew, picking chip crumbs off pf his 100 neck folds.
"I was wondering if maybe, um..." Elon trailed off, his eyes big and shiny, he had been in love before, all in vain, and he was afraid of getting hurt again.
"Speak up, [slur]" Andrew spoke coldly. It made Elon's insides feel funny, he couldn't dare not to be with such an amazing person, the times they could spend together owning the snowflakes on Tumblr, he couldn't miss out on this.
"I was wondering if maybe um.. you'd like to take a drive in my cybertruck with me". He asked, sweating profusely to the point of being shiny.
"Um, okay" Andrew responded apprehensively. When it became clear that the cybertruck couldn't move and in fact would not even turn on, they decided to sit there silently in the car as Elon tried to think of something to say.
Come on Elon, think of something! He thought. Finally he thought of the perfect words, the completely undeniable most romantic arousing sentence only his amazing brain could think of. "If i give you a horse would you sleep with me?" He asked, but Hussie wasn't paying attention, he was busy texting someone named Barack Obama.
Elon was really jealous of this "Obama" guy and decided that if he couldn’t have Andrew, no one could. It was at that moment the cybertruck suddenly sparked to life and Elon had an incredible idea: he would drive the truck off a cliff and jump out before it falls so Andrew would die.
Elon started to drive out of his garage but he immediately crashed into the garage door because he'd forgotten to open it. He and Andrew both died but the cybertruck was completely fine because it was designed with no user safety in mind.