Work Text:
Cale Henituse is someone who cannot forget.
No, actually, Kim Rok Soo was someone who cannot forget. Even though he threw away that name already and wields the name 'Cale' as his own, his records and ability still remained. Case in point, Cale Henituse is someone who cannot forget.
Cale's experience, both as Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse, were all recorded in his mind. All of his success, his pain, his regrets, were all etched into his head, engraved onto the rows of shelves of his impossible-to-erase records.
Cale doesn't think of himself as a good person. He knows he's not one. He was a bad person, through and through. He never actually understood why the citizens of Roan called him a hero. He would shiver at the mere thought of that word.
Cale Henituse is not a hero. He's not a good person either. He believes so.
Though, there was someone that Cale firmly believes is a good person. A true hero. Someone who never gave up no matter what hardships he went through.
(Someone, very much unlike him, who gave up at the young age of 8 years old.)
That person was someone who Cale respected a lot. Even though he was suddenly thrusted into an unknown place with no belongings except for his name, that man strived to survive for tens of years without giving up. Even now, that man chooses to protect others even though doing the opposite would be much easier.
That man was Choi Han.
Choi Han had to survive alone in the Forest of Darkness, which was full of monsters, starting from age 17 until now where he's more or less around 150 years old. Choi Han experienced all that, but he still has that air of innocence with him, an aura that Cale himself lost a long time ago.
Choi Han is a good person.
And Cale is nothing like him.
***
Cale-nim is a good person.
If Choi Han were to say that out loud, Cale-nim would have leveled him with a look that says 'are you crazy?' and would then proceeded to ignore him.
Despite all that, Choi Han believes that Cale-nim is a good person.
Cale-nim was someone who pulled Choi Han out of his despair, someone who gave him hope, a new home, and most importantly, a family. A family that he could come back to, seek solace in, and a family he could protect.
Cale-nim was the person who taught him how to protect. Cale-nim believed in him even though Choi Han himself was full of doubts.
Granted, Cale-nim only came to find Choi Han because he knew in advance what was going to happen from the book he read, but he didn't actually have to do that.
Cale-nim could have just ignored Choi Han and went somewhere else far way to avoid being involved in the main 'story'.
But he didn't. Cale-nim went out of his way to find Choi Han, feed him, took care of him, and gave him a new reason to live.
Cale Henituse, or previously Kim Rok Soo, was someone who Choi Han's nephew, Choi Jung Soo, cared a lot for, to the point where Choi Jung Soo chose Kim Rok Soo's survival over his own.
(Kim Rok Soo chose to close himself off after that, refusing to get close to anyone, believing that everyone who gets close to him will be affected by bad luck. He believes himself to be cursed. That he was meant to be alone.
And unfortunately, he was right.)
Cale Henituse is Choi Han's hope. Cale-nim is his liege, the person Choi Han pledge his loyalty to.
But Cale Henituse is also an enigma. Choi Han is a pretty smart person, even Cale-nim admitted to it, but still, Choi Han could never understand Cale-nim fully.
He could never understand why Cale-nim puts him on a pedestal, claiming that he was a good, innocent, pure and just person when Choi Han knows that that position would be more suited for Cale than him. Their family would say the same too.
Choi Han, who has lived (survived) tens of years in the Forest of Darkness, fought with despair by his side, as his aura, an essence of his being. His sword aura, black with despair, was violent and rough, unbefitting of the innocent facade he puts on around Cale-nim.
However, that same black aura, though still violent and rough with despair, now has sparkles of white on it, a symbol of the hope and salvation he found when he met Cale-nim.
Choi Han respects Cale Henituse. He cares for him. He adores him. Cale Henituse is someone who is lovable, with his strong personality and careful actions.
But why is it that the person himself thinks that he is unlovable? Cale-nim would always has the same expression whenever someone was worried about him, an expression of confusion and bewilderment.
Choi Han couldn't understand Cale Henituse.
Choi Han wants to know what is inside Cale Henituse's mind, and what, why, who.
Made Cale Henituse think that Choi Han was so special.