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Chapter Text

You don't really realize you made the wish until you've already breathed it into the air.

You're standing in a shop, hand on a shelf holding various knick-nacks. There's some carvings there by the shop owner, a few salt and pepper shakers, some bookmarks... It all reminds you of them. You want to get this for them. Get something real, show that you've moved on...

But if you explained, they would understand, but be sad, and you don't...

Your finger traces one of the wood carvings.

I wish they could understand. I wish I could talk about it without them being horrified. I wish they could just understand.

You close your eyes, and breathe in and out.

You open your eyes.

You are no longer touching a wooden carving. You are no longer in a shop at all. Your hand hovers over nothing. You draw it back, eyes darting around.

You are standing in front of a building. Nothing else is around- just a building. The building has a sign above a single door in big letters: TIME LOOP SURVIVORS SUPPORT GROUP. Hanging from that sign is a smaller sign reading Multidimensional!

... What the....

You want to run. But... you're curious. You were, in fact, in a time loop last month. This is probably for you for a reason. Whatever brought you here must want to help with that, finally. You hope.

Multidimensional. So you shouldn't know them.

You walk forward and grasp onto the doorknob. It twists easily under your gloved palm. The door creaks slightly as it opens, and you walk inside.

You let go of the door and look up as it clicks shut behind you.

You see

your family.

Bonnie isn't there, and you can only feel slight relief in the wave of overwhelming guilt at the sight of the others.

"Hey, Sif!" Isabeau says, leaning back in his chair to wave. All you can focus on is the scar on his lip. Isabeau carries himself differently, and his smile- the scar over his lip lifts up one side of it in a way your Isa doesn't.

You look. Odile has a star-shaped gem hanging from her glasses, and she slides a bookmark into the book in front of her. She waves.

Mirabelle has... an eyepatch. It has the Change Symbol on it. It's over her right eye, but- you can see the faintest outline of a scar that peeks out from under it.

It

Mirrors your own scar.

How did she get it? Your brain spins, and you try to breathe in, breathe in, breathe in. You manage to breathe out, "Hey, Isa."

You need to leave. They're staring at you and you can only see the scars on Mirabelle and Isabeau and the different way Odile is carrying herself and why are they here, in a place for people who were in time loops like you?

You can't think about this, this is just-

Your hand grips on the doorknob and tries to twist. It doesn't budge. The energy behind your steps slams to a halt. You test it a few more times. You can feel the others watching.

Odile clears her throat. "It locks after us. I tested it, there is not a locking mechanism."

Ah.

That's right. And it doesn't have the openphrase lock you've come to recognize. How did it lock, then?

You look back at everyone. You take in more of the room now. It's a little barren, except for the chairs set up in a circle. There's one seat empty- meant for you, it seems. You lift your hand from the door and shuffle your way back over, hands back beneath your cloak.

You sit down, pressing your face into the top of your cloak. Your face burns. Isabeau laughs, and Mirabelle even giggles a little.

"I tried the same thing, don't worry." Isabeau says, and you can hear some of those sounds come out a bit differently than your Isabeau would say them.

"I think we all did, really." Mirabelle laughed. "Odile about collapsed in relief when I walked in, haha!"

"I. Did not." Odile is looking away. You think she did.

Mirabelle giggles, and Isabeau rolls his eyes and gives you a look. You laugh as well, mirroring his look. Odile sighs, pressing a finger into her glasses. "Well, moving on... It seems that everybody that's supposed to be here is. Shall we address what we all are supposed to be here for?"

The others stop laughing. You remember the sign on the outside. Time Loop Survivors Support Group.

"It's true, then." Your eyes trail the floor, unable to meet their gazes. "You've all..." You fall quiet. The others shift nervously.

You want to ask why. Want to look up at the Universe and ask it why your friends had to go through this, why it wasn't just your burden, alone in the multiverse. Why Isabeau has a lip scar. Why Odile looks more tired than you ever thought. Why Mirabelle...

You look up, and you catch her looking at you. Your eye trails to her eyepatch. You catch her eye doing the same thing to yours. Her right eye, your left, both gone.

... You have to ask. Your hands curl around the chair beneath you. "... Did you... lose the eye in the loops?"

Mirabelle looks away, gripping her hands together. "... No. Before. When... when that sadness went for..."

Bonnie.

You see Isabeau and Odile wince, glancing in your direction. You look past them.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it in your world." You say. I'm sorry it wasn't me.

Mirabelle glances up and shakes her head. Her ribbon bounces a little. "No, it's okay. I happened to be closer that time— in your worlds, perhaps it was you who happened to be closer." After a pause, she laughs, lowering her hands and smiling at you. "... My own Siffrin said much of the same. How he should've noticed first. Hah... even with these differences, some things don't change a whole lot."

Her frown returns. It's a comforting thought, to you, but...

"You did what you could, Mira." You raise your head up. She glances back in your direction. "And you kept Bonnie safe. That's what matters."

Again, you're thankful Bonnie isn't here. Thank stars that Bonnie, at least, seemed to be spared of being pulled down into this self-built torment.

"Yeah." Mirabelle smiles, and then her face falls- and she looks away.

... Kept Bonnie safe?

You see a hand, squeezing.

You flinch, and glance at the floor. Don't think about that. It's fine. It never happened, and only you get to see it, so just- forget about it!

Isabeau breathes out. It sounds a little different than you're used to. He grins, and you keep staring at the scar on his lip and how it reshaped his smile. "I think this is the part where we talk about what just crossed our minds? Both of you?"

You don't want—

... You see his point. If not here, where somebody might've gone through what you did, then where? The thought travels across your mind more times than you'd like, and Bonnie is fine now, but sometimes it comes back. It haunts. And you don't want to tell them, you don't want to hurt them.

... But Mirabelle reacted like she was remembering something. Thinking of something.

Mirabelle doesn't speak, but her eye trails to Isabeau, and she nods.

"... It was stupid of me." You don't look at them react. "I was looking for something, anything, for a way out, and... I wanted to change things. I broke away from the script, and I reached out for the King. Told him to stop fighting."

You remember the sinking feeling in your stomach as he kept talking, but it was too late, too late-

"I stupidly believed in him, and when I got to my senses, it was too late, and Bonnie was grabbed, and Bonnie-"

Grabbed, calling your name-

"Bonnie got hurt. No, worse. Because of, what, the King happening to share some of my tragic backstory? Stars." You try not to cry. "I still see it. I still see his hand. Squeezing."

Odile's expression grows sad, and she stares down at her book.

Isabeau breathes, and you hear the way the air hisses from his mouth from his scarred lip. He leans forward, hand hesitating in the air. "Sif, it's... not your fault. The King would've always tried to do that. He..." Isabeau's expression tightens, and his fists ball up at his sides. "I never trusted him. But one loop, I must've let— something slip, because he went for Mira, and Bonnie—" He hesitates.

"... Mira tried to hold onto Bonnie." Isabeau's eyes trail to Mirabelle, who has a hand covering her mouth. He keeps her gaze, but his hands at his sides shake. "... You tried for as long as you could, but... the King was big. He... pulled. And..."

You can't help but imagine.

Mirabelle's tearing up from the one eye she still has. She tries to laugh, to distract, but it's still a little wet-sounding. She doesn't try again.

"... The King... did not go for Boniface." Odile says, and all attention snaps to her. Her shoulders hunch, slightly, and she looks away from you. "... He mentioned Wish Craft— you all know what that is, correct?"

You all nod. You think to why you had been looping in the first place, and... they must've made a proper wish, too... right?

Odile opens her mouth to continue, and you put that thought down. She clutches a little tighter to her book. "He mentioned it in regards to my questioning, and then, in a blink of an eye, he grabbed... you, Siffrin."

Your breath stops in your chest. You hear Mirabelle stifle a gasp.

"... He went the way Boniface did for you, Siffrin." Odile finally looks at you, and for a moment, you can see your own haunted eye reflected in her face. "... I was barely able to collect myself by the time you went into the shop to greet me."

"Like Mirabelle going to wake me up." You say back, and Odile nods in understanding.

"... Like waking up, standing in front of the Favor Tree, with Loop staring at me." Isabeau says, arms crossing over his chest.

"... Like looking at those stupid papers, after Bonnie and Siffrin had both been killed." Mirabelle says, eye narrowing, and everyone looks at her. Mirabelle doesn't look back at you.

You want to hide in your cloak. Reach up for a hat that isn't there and cover your face. But you stare at Mirabelle's eyepatch, with the scar peeking out, and you have to ask. "Did you... not loop back after the King had killed one of us?"

"No." Mirabelle looks back at you, eyes narrowed. "I believed he could change, and because of that, he grabbed both you and Bonnie. Went out of his way to do so." She grits her teeth. "Not the first time he went out of his way to be spiteful."

I'll make sure you learn your lesson.

It lines up. To aim purposefully for both you and Bonnie...

"... Did I try to protect Bonnie?" You ask.

"... Yes." Mirabelle says, and your shoulders fall with relief. At least you were trying to protect them. At least they died, in that time, knowing you were still trying to keep them safe.

Odile's voice sounds pained. "Siffrin."

"At least you didn't see Bonnie crushed, Odile." Thank stars it was you.

"You should not be blinding relieved that you were killed instead, Siffrin!" Odile gets up from her seat, tears at the edges of her eyes. "It should not have happened at all!"

You press the bottom of your head into your cloak. In moments like these, you feel the absence of your hat very strongly. Isabeau looks at you, pain in his expression, then back to Odile.

You've all experienced it. The King, killing someone out of spite for the one looping.

It's horrible. You wish they didn't have to see it.

Some part of you is glad you are not alone.

Odile sits back in her seat, breathing carefully. Mirabelle looks away, also breathing.

"... Stars, I don't know if that made me feel better or worse." You mutter.

Isabeau's eyebrows raise with a curious, slightly airy noise, and you glance up at him. He looks away, hand on his neck. "... Sif, I haven't been able to place it 'til now, but... you speak a bit more like Loop does."

Huh?

Odile straightens up a little, gaze curious. "... You're right, he does sound a little like Loop."

... you sound more like Loop?

"... I do?"

"Yeah! It's not, like, an exact word for word thing, but it's like... your accent's a bit stronger, and you say things more like they do than how my Sif does." Isabeau waves his hand in the air, then looks to Odile. "You get what I mean, m'dame?"

"... I do, actually." Odile flips through a page of her book. "Loop's voice is exaggerated, and from what I've read, people who put on more exaggerated voices tended to drift back towards their own accent." Odile hums. "Perhaps in your loops, Siffrin, you stopped trying to imitate a Vaugardian accent as much and simply drifted back to how you wanted to speak before?"

That... makes some sense, you think? Maybe not quite like that, but you did start trying to stick to a script, so maybe from doing that, you... changed how you spoke normally?

Mirabelle's eyebrows are pressed together, and her single eye has question marks in them. "... Forgive me for asking, but... why do three of you have... Loop?"

"Do you not?" Odile asks, the first to get a question out in the surprised air that follows.

"N-No?" Mirabelle waves her hands around in the air. "I-I had Riri! They—" She gestures to her dangling earrings, shaped like crescent moons. "They had a head shaped like this! She was my guide through the loops, and she was a me who didn't have anyone to help her? Did— Did everyone else's guide name themself Loop? But, wait, you all commented on them sounding like Siffrin...?"

You can feel Odile and Isabeau look at you.

You like not having a hat now most of the time, but those stares are making you want to hide your face again. You settle for pushing your head into your cloak again, which is not hiding your burning face.

... You can't bring yourself to answer.

So Isabeau does. "Loop is a Siffrin who didn't have anyone to help them. Their head resembles more of a star." A brief pause. "Like, those things in the night sky? Had a star-shaped symbol in their chest. They were a guide, much like your Riri was, I assume?"

There's a bit of a pause as Mirabelle realizes Isabeau is waiting for her response, and she nods, hands still tightly clenched together.

"... So I'm the only one with Riri, huh." Mirabelle carefully brushes a finger over her earrings, and you notice her other hand drifting closer to her mouth.

"Mira. Nails."

"Ah!" Mirabelle's eye goes wide, and she shoves her hand in her lap. She flashes you a thankful smile.

You laugh, shifting in your seat to let your legs kick more comfortably. "Matching, just like our eyes, huh?"

Mirabelle finds it in herself to laugh, too. "Were they mean to you as well?"

You roll your eye. "Of course. When faced with a clone of yourself, getting everything you never had..."

"... it's understandable to be a liiiiittle cranky, hah!"

Odile and Isabeau both look concerned.

Odile sighs, pressing her hand into her glasses. The star-shaped gem on the glasses catches your attention again, and she mutters, "Stars, you two need better things to share than this."

Isabeau raises an eyebrow. "... M'dame, are Ka Buan swears different in your world?"

Odile freezes.

Isabeau's smiling, smug. You smile with him, and press your head into your cloak again to stop that from being seen. His arms are crossed. "Because in my world, they don't resemble Sif's at all. It's Shards, and Shattering, and Gems, or even a Gems Alive if you're feeling particularly aggravated!"

"Yet..." You decide to help Isabeau out. "You said blinding earlier, didn't you? And just now, stars." You say it in your language, the way you've always said it. Odile stares at you two.

Mirabelle glances between you two, smiling. "... That's true, isn't it! Yeah! It's the same for me as well! Is it different in your world, Madame?"

Odile sweats a little. "... No, it... is not different." She sighs. "... I didn't even realize I had used it, to be honest... I suppose I've picked it up from Loop."

"Oh?" Isabeau leans forward, eyebrow raised. "From Loop? Must've been hangin' out with them a lot."

"... From being the one in the loops with them, I assure you."

"Pretty sure you don't pick up Elle's swears by simply being in the loops with them?"

"I'm sure you understand—" Odile stops in the middle of her sentence, and her eyebrows jump. "... Elle?"

Isabeau freezes. He makes a noise, a high-pitched one that's very similar to the one he made when you told him about you kissing him. He eventually manages, "What? I said. I said Loop."

Mirabelle's eye sparkles. "Oh! Is that- Is that your nickname for Loop?"

You grin. "How uncreative. L? Like the first letter of their name? I'm insulted."

"N-NO?????" Isabeau shouts, and you and Mirabelle laugh. "It's ELLE! E-L-L-E! The name! Not the letter??????"

Your grin only grows.

Odile's eyebrows raise. "Oh? But I thought you said Loop? Unless you really did say Elle, in which case... interesting for you to give them a nickname..."

"W-Well!!" Isabeau's face darkens. "Like, uh, Loop clearly named themself, right? But it felt like they named themself that for... not-great reasons, but I didn't want to judge, and... They were my friend, you know? And I- I wanted to give them a nickname, y'know? So. Elle!"

... Ah. that's right. Considering how they phrased it, and how good you are at names... Yeah, that makes sense, with Loop naming themself.

They didn't seem to mind, but it was another thing separating them from you, right? You try not to feel guilty for not thinking about it.

Odile looks at you. She looks back to Isabeau, eyebrow raised. "Mhm... is this like Siffrin's name, or is it like Mirabelle's? Go on. Explain that to me."

Your eye catches the star-shaped gem again. You look at it. You slightly tune out Isabeau's slightly airy stuttering reaction.

"... Why do you have that?" You ask, and everyone looks at you. You point at Odile's glasses, and—

Odile instinctively goes for the star-shaped gem.

The moment she realizes, her hands go back to her book again, but it's too late. You've all noticed it.

"Tease Isa all you want, but it seems you wanted to remember Loop as well." You laugh.

You bring out your silver coin- Well, Loop's, really. "I've been meaning to get this on a necklace for a while. You beat me to it."

"... Your silver coin?" Mirabelle asks, tilting her head.

"Oh- No, this is Loop's. From when we fought." You sigh, putting it back in your pocket. From the understanding look Mirabelle gives you, she must have gone through the same thing. Clones fighting clones. "... I miss them."

That makes both Isabeau and Odile look at you confused. You stare back at Isabeau, looking at his scar again. "Did you... not fight them?"

"No, I did, but..." Isabeau frowned. "Loop... came with me?"

"After the loops were broken, I went back to chat with them. About..." Odile hesitates. "... About what I had said, before..."

... No.

The fear pangs your heart. About what she had said. You had cursed out Loop, as well, before leaving them behind in your break for the King.

"... They were back in their star form, too. I've been seeing them slowly go back to their Siffrin-like form, but in one—"

"Huh?"

"What??"

"Excuse me???"

Odile looks up from her book. "... You all know they were Siffrin once, what's with the—"

"Loop's always been a star for me?"

"Same with me!" Isabeau backs you up. "Whole way through!"

"But..." Odile looks to Mirabelle. "... Surely this Riri must've...?"

Mirabelle frowns, hand trailing to her earring. "... No, they... never did anything like that."

Isabeau sighs. He pouts, which looks a little weird with his scarred lip. "Must be easy for your Isabeau to make clothes for Elle. Don't have to account for their head, or weird star chest... I've been trying to figure it out for a bit... I've only got them a scarf for now."

... wait.

"You... got them a scarf?" Your confused tone makes Isabeau look at you. Your eyes look at his lips, and you force yourself to look back up at his eyes. "For when they come back, or—"

"No, they're... wearing it." Isabeau exchanges your confused look right back. You look back at his scar. Not your Isabeau.

But similar.

You try to keep your breath level.

"Loop... disappeared after I fought them. I haven't seen them yet."

Odile flips open her book and searches her jacket for something to write with. "Isabeau and I both seem to have kept our Loop, while your Loop seemingly disappeared." She repeats. Her eyes glance up to Mirabelle. "And... what about you, Mirabelle?"

"... Riri... Rewind disappeared, too."

"... Hm. So half of us kept our guides from the loops, while the other half had them disappear." Odile writes, and then stares. "... is it connected to you two being their... clones, for lack of a better term?"

Mirabelle grasps her hands together in her lap. "I hope not."

"Loop promised me they'd give me back my coin." You say. You have to believe it. You have to think they'll come back. If Odile and Isabeau got to keep them, then maybe... maybe they will be able to actually do so. More reason to get that coin onto an accessory.

Odile nods. She continues writing.

The room falls to silence.

Odile holds herself differently. You can't put your finger on it, but even the way she's writing her notes seems to be just a little bit off from your world's Odile.

Is it like how the others viewed your accent? Subtly different, but still noticeable?

Mirabelle runs a hand over her eyepatch. Isabeau politely sits, hands resting in his lap. You try not to squirm.

Your eyes drift back to Isabeau, listening to the slight hiss of the way he breathes. It's different. It's... kind of nice, in it's own way. You don't want him to have it. He carried it out of the loops, so it must've been inflicted on the last one. Just like...

You try not to look at your arms, beneath your cloak.

You continue looking at Isabeau. Isabeau is looking back at you, eyes drifting up to your head, then back down to your eyes.

You're staring at each other, you realize. You feel warm.

Isabeau breaks first.

"So... we all had to loop manually at some point, right?" Isabeau looks away, hands together in front of him. "With that key in the housemaiden's office, and those dead ends... We all had to, right? So... how did you do that?"

Mirabelle stiffens, and her hand tries to dart to her side before she stops herself.

You

try not to think of your dagger.

You remind yourself to breathe.

"Tears." You manage to say, voice even. "They're everywhere in the house, so if I needed to loop... I could touch one, and I could loop back to whatever point I wanted."

"Same here." Odile says, looking up at Isabeau. "What about you?"

"Tears, yeah." Isabeau's eyes drift to Mirabelle. "... Mira, you're... immune to time freeze, aren't you? How did you deal with becoming stuck...?"

Mirabelle's tearing up. You freeze. Oh no.

"I... I was still immune to the tears, yeah. I had to... I had to..." She grit her teeth. "... My rapier. If I got stuck, I had to..."

... you put your head in your cloak.

"... It got easier, didn't it?"

Mirabelle's head whips toward you. Her eye is wide. Her lip trembles. "Well... yes, it did, but... Siffrin... you say that as if you also...?"

You can't look at her. You can't look at anyone.

Guess you aren't the only one to have turned your weapon on yourself! Just another version of the two of you mirroring! But unlike your eyes, unlike your guides, unlike the King reaching out to take advantage of your weakened guards, she had to use her rapier! You had the tears, but then you got tired of walking to a tear, you got so insistent with Loop that you needed it that they were forced to give it to you!

Your eye tightens a little. She wasn't the only one who suffered through this. She was not alone in this feeling. There's something comforting in sharing something this horrific, even as your blood runs cold at the thought.

"... I did."

You hear Isabeau inhale. "Sif?" The word hisses a little.

Mirabelle gasps, quiet. Odile shifts in her seat, but you aren't looking at her. You aren't looking at anyone.

"I had to wander over the castle a lot. Go down dead ends on purpose. Every time, a walk to a tear. Every time, feel myself freeze, have a dream." The dreams got worse and worse with every passing loop. You can only hope that they were just dreams. "... Wouldn't it be quicker to loop with my dagger? Just flick the wrist, cut my throat, and it'd be better than that."

The air grows silent after your sentence ends.

Mirabelle breaks it. "Why would you... did Loop... did Loop request it, like Riri?"

You hear both Odile and Isabeau start to protest.

"They were against it." You say, and that shuts them up. "I took it on my blinding self to insist that I wanted this. They tried to argue against it, and then they couldn't anymore." You squeeze your eye shut. "Loop had no choice but to help me. So they did."

A silence, longer than the last.

You want to bury yourself even further in your cloak. You open your eye a little, looking up at Mirabelle. She looks terrified, and you're not sure it's worse that it seems like she understands, too.

"... Do you... still struggle to look at your weapon, when you're just carrying it?"

In combat, it's fine. In combat, you swing with a flourish, with dedicated strikes. It wipes out a sadness in only a blow, maybe two.

But outside of it, sometimes you look, and you think about dark liquid, and think about doing it again.

Mirabelle doesn't respond, but the way her eye shifts, the way her hand trails over her chest... you think she does. You thank the stars it isn't just you— and feel bad that you're thankful that she had to stab herself with her rapier.

Odile crosses her arms. The book is closed on her lap. "... If it helps you feel any better, Siffrin... You were not the only one who chose to loop with your own hands when there was another way of looping available to use."

"Odile?!" Isabeau's voice squeaks a little, and he looks... panicked. You see him forcefully inhale, and exhale with a slight hiss. "You too?"

Odile's grip on her sleeves grows tight. "... Am I right to assume that you all were forcefully looped back at the top of the House, with Euphrasie?"

You flinch. The others do, too.

Odile nods to herself. "... I grew tired of the normal way of looping. Of the same words, of smelling burnt sugar so strong you could choke on it the more she spoke." She looks at all of you, and watches as you all glance away. You remember the burnt sugar that would always build in your throat. She looks away again. "... It was the same. And I thought..."

The grip on her sleeve grows even tighter.

"What if I didn't have to? What if I took it into my own hands?" There's a bitter smile on her face. "... I got over my fear of heights, at least."

"No," Mirabelle gasps, slapping a hand over her mouth. "You threw yourself off the House?"

You should've thought of that.

You feel sick for even letting that thought cross your mind.

"I—" Isabeau shook his head. "Loop got upset when I made myself loop, how did they react to you throwing yourself off the House?"

"Badly." Odile chuckles, a little sad. She sighs. "... I never did it again. But... with how you reacted, I had thought you had only used the Tears, but... made yourself loop..."

"... doesn't that still count?" Mirabelle asks, eyebrows pressing together. "If Loop was Siffrin, I would assume they got upset at you two looping on purpose at all...?"

"... No. Not with tears." Odile says. "The tears were a safe way to loop."

You remember asking the difference. There's a difference, you can see it so clearly now, from the horror of the others, but, stars, you asked the difference.

"... yeah, they preferred tears over anything else." Isabeau says, frowning. "... They heard me say the Head Housemaiden, and got confused. They... never made it to her, did they?"

You shake your head. "Never beat the King in a meaningful way. So..." You look at Isabeau. "How did you make yourself loop, that made them upset?"

Isabeau looks away.

"I didn't... kill myself. But, you guys looped back without dying sometimes, right?"

You already don't like how this is starting.

You nod. Mirabelle and Odile nod, too.

"... I figured out it was connected to my emotions. So, I thought," His breath grows faster, and you can't help but focus on the way his breaths sound different with the scar, "If it's connected to my emotions, couldn't I figure out some way to replicate it? I mean," Faster, and faster, and your eye widens, but he keeps going, running a hand through his hair, "Mira, she would hate to find out I did this her, and it's so simple, to think, when you can't help but think, and all you have to do is feel you can't keep going, so—"

Mirabelle about jumps out of her seat, hand reaching out to touch him. "Isabeau, please, breathe with—"

She touches his shoulder.

Isabeau jerks back, arms jumping up to guard himself, chest heaving.

For a moment, you can only see yourself, flinching.

But Isabeau liked touch.

Like the scar on his lip, like the different earrings dangling from his ears, this is another thing the loops gave him. You don't like it.

He's still breathing rapidly.

You lean forward in your chair. "Isa, please, look at me."

He does. His breathing slows only a little.

"In, and out." You breathe in, watching as he watches you. You breathe out. You place a hand on your chest, and you see him copy the movement. You breathe in, watching as he purposefully follows you. He struggles to keep breathing in, but he does. You breathe out, and he follows.

You both breathe in, and out, and you focus on the way his breathing makes a slight hiss you're not sure you would've noticed without knowing a version of him without a scar. Eventually, his breathing is relatively normal again.

Mirabelle's eye is filled with guilt.

Isabeau glances over to her, and he grimaces.

"... When all you feel is the same touch, over and over, it... feels less real." Isabeau's hand drops from his chest. "I... I flinch. Like Sif."

"Like me." You agree. Your hand finds your arm, and you can feel the scars beneath your sleeve. "... I've been getting more used to touch, thanks to the others." Mirabelle grabbing your hands, Isabeau touching your shoulder, Bonnie hugging you, Odile ruffling your hair. You still flinch, sometimes, but you made it clear that you want them to include you. "During the loops, I tried to figure out some way to get touch every loop. Nobody would touch me."

Odile looks pained. "... we thought you didn't like touch—"

You shake your head. "Bonnie told me. You thought it was that I didn't like it, but it's more like..." How did you word it? "I'm just not used to it."

Odile only looks more guilty. Mirabelle and Isabeau nod in understanding.

Isabeau thinks. "... For me, it's like... I got too used to it. Like," Isabeau snaps his fingers, "Seeing your grandma who always hugs you, and you feel bad not hugging her because she almost never sees you and you hug her and it's always a little uncomfortable! It got like that."

Everyone stares at him.

Odile sighs. "Good to know your... metaphors are still terrible."

"I... suppose that makes...... some sense.........?" Mirabelle is trying to save it. She is failing.

You don't remember having grandparents. You don't think on that more, so you just frown instead.

"It- It makes sense to me!" Isabeau protests, and you start chuckling despite yourself. When Mirabelle joins you, Isabeau's eyes widen more. "D-Don't laugh!"

"Some things never change, even with everything the loops did, huh?" Mirabelle chuckles.

"You know," You shift in your chair, reaching back into your memory of the loops. "I've heard some interesting ones." You pause for dramatic effect. "You compared my ashes to pizza."

"HUH?!"

Odile chokes on her breath, and has to cover her mouth to stop her laughter from escaping. Mirabelle laughs a bit more freely.

"Your ashes?!" Mirabelle almost squeals, grin wide. "Pizza?!"

Isabeau's eyes are wide, and you can't help your smile from widening, too. You can see him fighting his own smile.

Thank stars, he seems to have stopped thinking about the touch thing. Mirabelle's back in her chair, too, gigging with a small smile.

"It was a conversation relating to what we needed to do with our bodies, in case we died." Your smile grows a little more forced, and watch as Mirabelle and Isabeau do the same. You don't like it. You keep smiling, anyway. Remember what was said. Feel bad that you still do. "Odile said something about bodies in Ka Bue being burned and made into gems, or perhaps being donated. Mirabelle said for Vaugardians, you'd become a part of change, buried beneath a tree."

"... I recall that you would say either throw your ashes to the sky, or to bury yourself on the highest peak. Depended on the loop." Odile says, and you blink over at her.

... What you said depended on the loop? The baffled look in your eye must be clear to her, because she looks away.

"That was the same for me, yes..." Mirabelle nods. "It was either of those two answers... Did Isabeau in your world say that about throwing your ashes to the sky?"

Isabeau sighs, eyebrows pressing together. There's a little sarcastic smile on his face (and you again cannot help looking at how the scar lifts it even more). "Oh, please do not tell me that I compared it to pizza there..."

You... don't know how to feel about the fact that your answers could vary on loops. Yeah, sometimes what the others said could vary because of you seeming different, maybe, but... You weren't looping, why would the answer there change...?

Back to the topic.

"I... said that at first, yeah, but then..." At your worst moments, trying to cling onto them as you searched for wish craft, the loops going on and on with no signs of ever changing... "... Late in my loops, I told you all to carry my ashes with you."

Isabeau's eyebrows raise. "Oh!" He grins a bit more genuinely this time. "Yeah, that makes sense."

Odile and Mirabelle both whip their heads in his direction. Odile looks like she's one second away from exasperated swearing, and Mirabelle just looks worried.

Isabeau's smile wavers again, and he throws his hands up in the air. "It- It just DOES? Splitting something up to all of us in equal parts! Like a pizza!"

You can't help but to start chuckling. When Odile sighs, you start laughing louder.

Isabeau buries his face in his hands. "I'mjustsayinghehadapoint"

Mirabelle places a hand on the side of her face with her eyepatch on it, a disapproving stare leveled his way. Odile crosses her arms, sighing again, this time rolling her eyes.

You grin. "Wow, Isa. Didn't think you'd want to be a p-isa of that."

Odile's sigh is more aggravated. "No, Siffrin."

Mirabelle's eye widens. She slaps a hand on her mouth. "N-Not allowed?!"

Isabeau laughs, shoulders shaking, and your grin grows.

Odile places her fingers on the bridge of her nose, pushing up her glasses as she rubbed in circles. "If you two are done doing your usual flirting with humor..."

That stops everybody's laughter.

Odile lets her glasses settle back to their natural place on her face, slightly judgmentally staring back. "... We have all heard them do this, correct?"

You don't like this topic, suddenly.

Mirabelle looks confused, and she looks at you and Isabeau. "Was that flirting...?"

Isabeau's breath sounds a little hissed. "N-NO?"

Not on purpose, anyway. You do not say this thought out loud. "Shouldn't we talk about something else?" You attempt to divert again instead. Quick, think of a topic that is far away from this! "Like, how did we get into the loops! I know you brought up wish craft, Odile!"

"Hm." Odile has a grin on her face, eyebrow raising. "I do not know... Mirabelle, what do you think? Should we leave this topic for later? Let Siffrin divert the topic as they clearly want to?"

Mirabelle's eye widens, and then she narrows them. "... Didn't you do the same?"

Odile pauses. She looks away. "I don't know what you mean."

"When you passed the conversation back to Isabeau about Elle! You were getting nervous about swearing like Loop, and then Isabeau said something and you put it on him and we never brought it up again, but I've! Thought about it!" Mirabelle's eye remains narrow, and your eye trains on her eyepatch as she shifts it nervously. "A-And it's, um, we're here to talk about what weighs us down, right?"

"A good job we're doing with that." Odile scoffs, arms crossed.

You look away.

"... guys..." Isabeau's voice sounds pained, and you fight yourself to not look up at him. "... Mira's right. We shouldn't ignore—"

"My Loop problem has nothing to do with the loops." Odile scoffs. "Maybe we should indulge Siffrin, then- sounds like it would have more relevance to all of us, hm?"

You try not to think about how she and Isabeau have Loop, still. Try not to think about how you and Mira don't have your guides. Was the Universe unwilling to have them with you, a clone close to their originator?

Isabeau opens his mouth. Closes it. You see him press his lips together, focusing on the scar.

"... About your question of wish craft... yes." Odile nods, and you look back at her. "I made a wish at the favor tree, which resulted in me being trapped in the time loop."

Your face falls.

No. A wish got her trapped. You already felt like this was the case, but hearing it confirmed feels like your heart got stabbed.

You try to grin. You ignore how the others have worried stares directed your way. "Wh-What, your wish to win a coin flip got you trapped? Little silly of the Universe—"

"No, Siffrin." Odile's hand traces down her book. "That was my initial wish, yes... but you stopped me, and showed me how to properly wish, and I decided to try something more important."

You try to breathe.

You got her stuck in the loop. Made her suffer. She's smiling at you when you were the one who got her trapped?

Mirabelle and Isabeau look at you, and you make the mistake of looking back because their faces grow tight, tight, trying to smile for you.

You hate seeing that smile reflected back at you.

"Did— Did you two get into the loops because of me, too?"

They don't respond. Isabeau immediately looks away, still pressing his lips together. Mirabelle looks nervous, and you focus on her eyepatch that you were unable to prevent the acquisition of in her world...

It's your fault. It has to be. Why are they still—

"Siffrin."

Odile's frowning at you. She hesitates for a moment, hand reaching up to hold onto the star shaped gem on her glasses. "Am I correct in that all of us could not make it to the King in our first loops?"

You nod. You remember a rock. The others do too, looking back in your direction.

"... Without us learning to wish from you, Siffrin, we would not have saved Vaugarde at all." Odile's eyebrows lift, and she smiles. "It is because of us being in this time loop that we were able to, eventually, prevail."

... Your Odile said something like that, too. Your small chuckle obviously catches her off guard. Mirabelle giggles, too.

"... What's funny?"

"Oh, just..." You're still smiling. "In my world, Odile comforted me the same way. Needed the reminder, I guess."

Mirabelle giggles as well. Isabeau huffs, the air hissing through his lips. He's grinning.

You pull your gaze away.

Odile shifted in her seat. "... For all we've gone through, we still have some parts that remain, hm?"

You've always cared.

... You don't say that out loud. Maybe you should, but you don't want to put her on the spot even more.

Isabeau's face falls, and he crosses his arms. "... Yeah, but... I think I would've preferred getting past the King without getting stuck in the loop far past that. And also not fighting my friends. That would've been great too!"

You think of that visceral shade. You think of your dagger on your skin, and Mirabelle shouting your name. You think of Isabeau, blocking an attack that barely had any of your power behind it. You think of Bonnie, shouting at you to stop.

You try not to think about Odile, attacking first. Your eye betrays you, though— and Odile notices.

"... Did you fight us, as well?" Odile's face looks resigned. accepting. Familiar. "Full of wish craft, towering over them, scaring them?"

There's a follow up Odile wants to say. She opens up her mouth and then shuts it, looking away.

Isabeau mouths something, but all you hear is the way air slips out from him.

"I... did." don't bring up that she hurt you first it was your fault don't- "Did anyone panic when seeing you that big?"

"It is an understandable reaction." Odile says, eyebrows lifting. "Along with that unusual shade..."

"And Odile immediately thought to attack because she thought we were going to attack, right, Siffrin?" Mirabelle brings it up first.

Odile freezes. Her eyes are wide, horrified, and-

You can't look at Odile anymore.

You nod to Mirabelle.

Finally finding a quiet moment in the conversation, Isabeau waves his hands in the air. "Wait wait wait! Hold on? Big? You guys got big?"

Mirabelle's eye scrunches a little bit, and she bites her lip. "... Yes? Didn't you say you fought them?"

"I DIDN'T GET BIG THOUGH??" Isabeau runs a hand through his hair, breathing in deeply. "I just? Cried a lot? Felt so much that all I could do was lash out." His hand fell to the scar on his lip, and his eyes dart over to you.

You don't like it this time.

"... Sif, you..."

You don't wanna hear it you don't wanna hear it, you—

You keep his gaze anyway, hands balling up beneath your cloak.

Isabeau watches you for a second. One of his hands grips a sleeve. "... He reacted to the wishcraft. They said something about it felt just as wrong as the shade in the sky. Instinct." The hand on his face traced his scar again.

Your dagger feels very heavy at your side.

Isabeau grins nervously, and you focus on how the scar makes the lip bend upwards oddly. "Doesn't it look cool, though? Honestly, gotta thank you for that!"

He laughs nervously. His voice peters out when you don't join in. He looks away, both hands gripping his sleeves this time.

Odile breathes in sharply, though you can hear it shake. "... I attacked both Siffrin and Mirabelle...?"

"You were just defending yourself!" Mirabelle exclaims, hand reaching out for just a second before stopping, pulling back. Her eye darts to Isabeau, then to you, then back to Odile. "It was only the two of us, so—"

"The appropriate number of people I should've attacked is zero!" Odile shouts, and Mirabelle retreats further. "Stars, what's wrong with me? Why is that the default state?"

Mirabelle doesn't try the excuse of Odile defending herself again. She grits her teeth. "None of us blame you! I'm sure any of us could've done the same in that situation! It was scary, and you grew big as well, so that surprise could've led to the same result!"

Odile barks out a laugh. Her eyes are strained. "None of you did the same." She squeezes her eyes shut, fingers pressing down on the space between her eyes. The gems attached to her glasses dangle in the air a little. She laughs again, a bit defeated. "Why is it the default for me to hurt? I never wanted to hurt any of you."

You think of allies.

You breathe in, and out.

You think of family.

"... It's okay." You speak up. "... Even if you don't believe it, it's okay." It's words you need to hear, too. "We're still with you. We understand. You said to me, once, that you would do awful things to protect us. Bonnie called us family." You smile. "... And we still are."

Odile opens her eyes a little.

You shuffle on your chair. "... We're not wrong to forgive you. I'm not wrong for being forgiven." You look to Isabeau again. Your eye trails to the scar, again. You want to say something about it, but the words escape your mind.

Isabeau's face softens, and you fight the urge to look away. "... I already forgave him for it. Again, it's cool! It helps remind me I'm not in the loops anymore!" He presses his lips together and moves them, and you can see him relax a little. "Like, it was bad. Siffrin immediately apologized for it. But..." Isabeau looks away, and you take the opportunity to stare at the ground. Isabeau chuckles. "... heh, is it bad that I do appreciate it for that? Scars didn't stay through loops, so if this one stays..."

You rub your hand up your arm, beneath your cloak. You feel the star-shaped scars. Some of them have scabbed over, and you fight the urge to pick. "... You're really out. It really happened."

Mirabelle shifts in her seat. "... Siffrin?"

You look up. She has a hand on her eyepatch. "...Isabeau hasn't made you a new eyepatch yet?"

Oh! You lift up a hand to your eyepatch. Your cloak falls down a little, and your hand traces the eyepatch. "No, he's been trying to get a star pattern right, and—"

You make the mistake of looking up.

The others look horrified, and their gazes—

Your sleeve is still rolled up. They're looking at your arm.

You freeze.

QUICK! THINK OF SOMETHING!

"Odile, you hurt and saved me!" You blurt out, forcing a grin on your face. "You learned that spell to stop me from rewinding! I'm more thankful!"

"Siffrin." Odile's voice shakes, and your stupid smile shakes with it. "What did you do?"

You think of Odile, wrapping a bandage around your finger.

"See?! You're not uncaring, you—"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME." Odile shouts, and you flinch. Her face falters. She inhales, putting her fingers on the bridge of her nose again, and closes her eyes.

Mirabelle has a hand on her chest. "... Siffrin, you—"

"Hey." Isabeau's voice, stern, cuts through the air. "Don't pressure them." He looks at you, and you look at him. You reach up to pull your sleeve down—

"Sif. You haven't shown the others this yet, have you?"

You don't respond, other than to look down at your arm. Your hand lingers on the sleeve. It's nice to be seen, but the worry the others had churns in your heart. You did this to yourself. Why do you deserve to be cared for over something like this? Making them care for you again and again? Disgusting, disgusting—

"Try not to pick." Isabeau's voice is calm. Understanding. "We should move on."

You look up. Isabeau's hand moved from where it was previously. He held it out, didn't he? And decided against it?

You hold your arm out, star scars exposed to the sky. Your voice shakes. "You can. Touch them."

Isabeau pauses. He blinks. "...Huh? Sif, you can—"

"I want to get used to touch." You blurt out, shaking the arm again. "And you always wanted to, but never could bring yourself to! Not until the end!" You squeeze your eye shut. Your heart hammers in your chest. It's pathetic to beg for touch. The only way to get it is to ask. Ask, ask, ask.

You think of hands on your head and arms around your waist and hands covering yours and all you want right now is for it to be acknowledged by somebody other than you.

Your face grows tighter. "Please."

You hear this Isabeau breathe. It's a little wispy, thanks to the scar on his lip. You wait, and wait, and wait—

Contact on you wrist. You jump, despite yourself. Your eye flies open, and Isabeau's watching your face.

Carefully, his hand moves. It sends tingles up your skin, but you just breathe in and out. It's nice. His hand rubs circles around the scars before running the finger over them, and his hands are big, you know this, but it's so clear as his thumb is almost bigger than the scars, and yet he's so careful. An eye for detail, needed for pulling a needle through thread.

You feel warm. You breathe, and you smile.

You almost don't like that you do. But it's still nice.

Isabeau lifts his hand from your arm. You immediately pull your sleeve down.

You can't look at his face. You refuse to. Odile has an eyebrow up when you look at her.

You get the feeling you need to switch the topic fast.

"Anybody else meet the Change God?"

Isabeau chokes on a laugh. "Huh?!"

Mirabelle stiffens. Her hands land in her lap, and her eye narrows. "... I have, yes."

Isabeau's mouth shuts. You can see him shut it fully to have his lips meet, with the scar and all. He opens it again. "... huh?"

Odile opens her book and starts writing. "I did, yes."

Two affirmatives, one negative. You sigh. "Change god thought of the time loop as amusing?"

Mirabelle nods again, this time smiling. You can see how fake it is. "Yep."

A thought crosses your mind. "Did they tell you they were proud of you before telling you they were delighted to watch you suffer?"

Isabeau makes a high-pitched noise. Both you and Mirabelle glance at him before going back to each other.

"... They gave me mixed signals. Told me I was their favorite, but then just said they were excited to see how I would change in the loops? When I asked for help?" Mirabelle clasps her hands together, looking away. "It felt kind of... bad."

You can't help the laugh. Mirabelle glances up at you, concerned.

"They told you they were proud of you, removed you from their realm, and then cursed out my religion, that I was in a time loop, and that they would enjoy me suffering, all with Loop's face!" You laugh, if only to keep yourself from cursing them out. "Loop didn't really like being told that."

Mirabelle blinks. "They used your guide's face too? Oh, thank Change it wasn't just me!"

You roll your eye. "They called Loop a sponsor. Wasn't pleasant to see their body being used for something like that."

"With the purposeful blank eyes..." Mirabelle laughs awkwardly. "Ugh. I still love my belief, but it was... rough, knowing that they were watching and doing nothing, instead of just not caring..."

You shiver a little. "They have all that power, and instead of using it to help us figure a way out, they just insulted us for... what, being in a time loop of our own making?" You huff. "Could've told me that. Lazy god."

"That's what Euphrasie says... Didn't believe it until then."

Odile's eyes lift up, and her hand stops in the middle of writing. Isabeau follows her gaze, and freezes too.

（︶^︶）that's no way to talk to the one who organized this, u kno!! (>__<)

Huh

You look up.

A Change God Statue floats there in the air. Their shape suddenly shifts into Bonnie, and they pout, kicking their feet.

They are still floating.

o(￣┰￣*)ゞ i go through allllll that work to put this together, and all u have to say is,

___*( ￣皿￣)/#____ 'wow i dont like you because you did nothing for me'

Mirabelle's face twists. "...Huh?"

The Change God spins over in the air, using Bonnie's hand to mess with a straw on their hat.

o(*￣▽￣*)ブ it's okay, though!!! i know you don't reaaaaally mean that! ( *︾▽︾) otherwise...

The Change God shifts into Euphrasie's shape, reaching out to flick one of Mirabelle's brooches. The sound rang into the air. The Change God giggled in a voice entirely unlike Euphrasie's.

~\(≧▽≦)/~ u wouldnt still be wearing this, hmmm~?

"U-Um—?"

"Wh-What the crab...?"

You grip onto your chair so hard you feel like it can break beneath your fingers.

Odile has to take a moment to collect herself, too. "... So, you're the reason we were able to gather here?"

The Change God shifts into Bonnie's shape again, kicking their feet.

(^ω^ ) yep!! (╬▔皿▔)╯ u do NOT know how hard it is to get ur worlds even slightly aligned, let alone get the wishes necessary to be able to do this!!

You hear Mirabelle inhale sharply in, and out. Odile is at a loss for words, as is Isabeau. Isabeau barely got any warning the Change God was real, and now he gets to see them acting... how they normally do.

"Wishes?" You realize. "Isn't that a Universe thing?"

(¬_¬ ) uh, duh? (￣y▽,￣)╭ dont u know that , frin?

The Change God shifts into taking your shape, with a hat on. They flip upside down, hat still staying on their head.

"... But didn't you insult me for believing in it?"

(lll￢ω￢) ... no? (。_。) i said i didnt need rituals like that, and that it would never talk to you.

Their shape shifts into Mirabelle, without an eyepatch. The Mirabelle with the eyepatch startles again.

(^▽^) it doesnt talk to anyone, silly~ i did say it to hurt you, but who wouldnt talk to their blorbos friends like that?

"... you what...?" Isabeau manages to hiss out, still dazed.

(o゜▽゜)o☆ im a god, silly~ i can use this power however i want, i just need to make it work with the programming

щ(゜ロ゜щ) which, again, is hard!!

"... what in gems is programming...?"

The Change God shifted into Loop's shape, and they held up a hand to where their mouth would be. This Loop had a strange scarf around their neck, which fluttered in some invisible wind.

(～￣▽￣)～ cant tell u, hihihihi~ thats meta knowledge! but just know it was hard, okay~?

They shifted again, back into a Change God Statue- a different one from the one they first started out in.

( •̀ ω •́ )✧ i am so glad i put you all here!! u all are conversing so well!! im giving u all a good grade in therapy!!

o(*^▽^*)┛ u all should talk about the good times in the loops!! （＞人＜；）ur all so dreary right now, talkin about scars and touch and how u all got each other killed. just talk about somethin else~ *disappears, leaving behind some cookies*

The space above your heads is suddenly empty. On the floor below was... a plate of cookies. None of them were chocolate chip.

The air was silent.

Isabeau breathes, "whhhhhaat the crab. What the crab???"

You reach forward for a cookie. You take one that seems to have rasins in it, though you don't bite down yet.

"You're really taking that...?" Odile says, incredulous.

"Is that—" Isabeau lets out a laugh of disbelief. "How did they speak like that?"

Mirabelle breathes in, and out. She, nervously, also reaches out to take a cookie. She takes a slightly crumbly one. She bites down, continuing to breathe.

You feel weird that the others who were in the loops are breathing like you. That's what they're doing— you keep thinking about Isabeau, talking about how you breathe and how it helps you. Your Isabeau, not the one breathing, panicked, next to you.

"Isa," You mumble, "In, and out. Like me."

"R-Right." Isabeau holds his breath for a few moments, then starts trying to breathe in a steady pace. Once he's stopped shaking, he waves a hand in the air where the Change God once was. "But really. What the crab was that?"

"The Change God." Mirabelle says, once she's swallowed her food. "They, uh... they're like that."

"... Not what I expected?? At all?????"

You shrug. "I assume that Loop was your Elle?"

"My—" Isabeau's face burns dark for a moment, and he reaches out and grabs a random cookie. He chomps on it, sending crumbs everywhere.

Odile laughs.

You look down at your own cookie and bite into it. It sure is a raisin cookie. Average.

"... Yes, that was Elle." Isabeau says, after another silence. "Seeing them turn into you with a hat was weird after seeing you without for this entire session?"

You have a cheek full of cookie. You manage to laugh without spreading crumbs, at least. Isabeau looks at you, smiling sweetly with that scar on his lip, and you look away for a moment.

You swallow. "I've been without for a few months, imagine how I feel."

Isabeau chuckles, and he bites into his cookie a bit less aggressively this time. You watch him eat for a few moments, watch as he bites down and tries not to get the scarred lip on the food. It's different. It's nice.

wow why do you feel warm

"You know, you told me that my cheeks puff up when I eat." You say, remembering what the Change God requested. "And, um." You look away from Isabeau. "One time, I went up to you to ask for a cookie. And said no, so you asked that I called you something cute. Amazing-Wonderful-Funny-Buff-Isabeau. And once I did, you gave me the cookie."

You hear Isabeau stop chewing. Mirabelle glances up at you from her own cookie, eye sparkling curiously.

Odile grins. "Oh, this sounds cute."

You are definitely making a mistake.

"So, the next time I looped and went to ask you for a cookie, I led with the compliment. And, um. You destroyed the cookie." You laugh. "I don't know how I remember this now! I remember being disappointed the cookie broke, and not that you were flustered!"

Isabeau stares at his cookie, continuing to not chew on it.

Odile snorts. "HAH! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were oblivious!" She shakes her head, getting out her book again to write. "Fascinating."

You feel very, very warm. You decide not to mention that you did it again, sometimes. You try not to think about how you never did it again after you kissed him.

"... Sometimes, you would give me a flower." Mirabelle says, and you look over at her. She's smiling sweetly at you. She lifts a hand off of her cookie to trail a line in her hair. "... When I encouraged you, you would put it into my hair."

... You gave them all flowers even while not in the loops? Sometimes? You laugh nervously and decide eating your cookie is the best choice of action here.

Isabeau hums, finally looking up from his cookie. "So, uh, did you all make a bomb for the King the first few times? Cause, uh, I did." He laughs. "And after a while, I got... better at it? Able to make it more functional, more explosive..." You watch him look over to Mirabelle. "You noticed me getting more focused, and when you pointed it out, Bonbon called me a bomb boy."

You snort, covering your mouth with the arm of your cloak to prevent crumbs from flying. You swallow your bite, feeling your hamster cheek going away. "A big bomb boy who can C-4 himself how easy it is to make a bomb?"

You watch as Isabeau almost chokes on his cookie, and then throws his head back to laugh. Your grin grows wider. You can hear Odile suppress a groan with a sigh, and Mirabelle nervously go, "oh no."

"No wonder you're a bomb boy!" You lean forward. "Seems like you're just exploding with laughter!"

"SIF—" Isabeau barely manages to squeeze out your name before he relapses into laughing again, shoulders shaking.

You feel relieved you can make puns like this, still.

Odile's face shifts into a smirk. "... You two are reminding me of a good time I had in the loops, actually."

You glance to her, eyebrows raising. You know she always groaned at your puns. She did it just now. This just doesn't seem plausible.

Isabeau's busy calming down from his laughing fit, so Mirabelle says it instead. "Hm? But, madame, you didn't seem to like that one..."

Odile's smirk does not falter. "Oh, your puns and one-liners haunted me through the loops, don't worry. No, it's reminding me of when I attempted to make everyone feel more fulfilled."

"... I'm not following, I think?"

Yeah, you're not following, either. It sounds similar to when you tried to help everyone...?

"Like when Sif taught me how to fish?"

You glance over to him. He rubs his neck. "You can continue, M'dame, just reminded me."

"Oh, I will." Odile's grin turns sinister.

Wuh oh. The door being locked is the only thing preventing you from running for your life. You squirm in your seat.

Odile glances to the side, still smiling. "It's natural to help everyone when you're stuck in a time loop. Studying them. Wanting to be better for them." Her smile fades for a second, contemplative, before her eyes transfer to Isabeau. "And you, young man, were very hard to help."

"Hwuh???" Isabeau's shoulders rise, the cookie in his hand crumbling a little. "I mean, I'd rather help you all? So maybe even my non time loop self was resistant?"

You nod. Considering what your problems are, you think it would be hard for you to be helped too. "Isa didn't have anything to be helped with, really. He wanted me to help everyone else first."

"Yeah! Like that!" Isabeau nods, grinning.

"Hmm. Fascinating." Odile's grinning again. "... As I said, hard to help. You think it would be easy, wouldn't it? There's a very clear problem that can be helped with." Odile holds a hand out in Isabeau's direction. "Remember what you confided in me before the time loop."

Isabeau freezes.

You can feel your face warming.

She was trying to help you and Isa—

"Why would you want to do that?" You say, a sudden fact coming to the forefront of your mind. "Didn't you have a bet with Bonnie?"

"What" Mirabelle mumbles from the other side of the circle of chairs.

Odile is quiet for a moment, eyebrow raised. Her smile is gone again. "... You heard about that?"

"Told it to, uh, Mirabelle. In the bathroom."

"Huh???" Mirabelle's eye widens. "To me?? In the bathroom???"

"... Why would I bring it up to Mirabelle?"

"Bet?" Isabeau waves a hand. "What was the bet? Over, apparently, us?"

"... I'm more worried about why I would tell—"

You turn to Isa, glad for the distraction, interrupting Odile. "If you confess after the King, Odile would get dinner. If you confessed before, Odile would give Bonnie a piggyback ride."

Isabeau's silent for a few moments. He turns to Odile. "Madame. Did you tell Bonnie just so you could bet on me."

Odile laughs. "Nope! Boniface is the one who came up with the bet, actually." Her face softens, still smiling. "Honestly, the preteen is quite perceptive. I only went along with it because I knew how you were."

You try not to snort-laugh. You fail, hiding your face in your cloak. Isabeau sends a betrayed look your way, and even Mirabelle laughs.

"To get back on topic, though... Well, the time loop ended soon after we beat the King. Not enough time to get my end of the bargain." Odile traces a hand down the spine of her book. "And Boniface would be happy if they got a piggyback ride, and you two would be happy, too. It was only natural."

The air is silent.

"... It was... also a way I considered getting out." Odile says, after a few moments. She laughs. "But, well, we all know that it didn't work that way."

"Indeed." Mirabelle mutters, hands in her lap.

You look away. You had to open up, yourself, not just simply help others. Tell them you wanted to keep traveling.

You don't think about where you are right now, and why.

"Now, what was I talking about?" The grin returns. Odile leans back in her chair. "If you think I would forget about why I started talking about this, you are mistaken. Isabeau, after my long, arduous, painful journey of getting you to confess before the King..."

Isabeau sighs, the breath whistling slightly with the scar on his lip. "I think I get it."

Odile is still grinning. "The two of you, once I was able to properly help Isabeau, seem to have taken the relationship they had previously and upped it a notch. Even while we were trying to rest, you two seem to flirt with puns."

"F. Flirt???"

You desperately wish for a hat with how hot your face is now becoming.

Mirabelle has the audacity to go 'awwww'. After giggling, her face grows curious, eye glancing between the two of you. "...Is that an actual thing? Flirting with puns, I mean."

"WE WERE NOT—" Isabeau squeaks, and he waves his hand in the air for a few moments as air passes through a scarred lip without making words come out. Eventually he settles on, "We're NOT providing examples. We weren't flirting."

You stay silent, face still burning.

Odile raises an eyebrow. "... Do you disagree with him, Siffrin? Your silence is... very telling."

Oh no. You straighten up. "That wasn't flirting? Not. On purpose." You smile, nervous. "So, you helped us? That's... nice. Was that how you helped me?"

Odile's grin fades. "... No, that was..." Odile frowns, looking away from you. "... I assume you know, right? In order to find out about the King, one must know his motivations. And his motivations..."

You stiffen on your chair.

"... This is about... the place that gives us headaches?" Isabeau says, crossing his arms and humming with thought.

Mirabelle stares at you, eyebrows pinched.

You close your eye. "... Lightless sand, dark as the night sky. The sea, dangerous and giving. The mountains, covered in trees and warm rocks." You laugh, and you can feel it being wet with tears you try not to cry. "I don't remember it. Not especially. But I know of it, and I've fought to keep it at the edges of my memory."

You open your eye to Mirabelle's eye welling with tears. Her hands are clenched together. "... Do you... remember the name?"

Hah!

Haha!

HAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh stars they're looking at you with worry. Your grin is not one of glee. "I can never remember that! Remembering anything about it hurts!" Mirabelle's eye squeezes tighter. "I tried to say the name once! Desperate to hold on, still! And all I got was blood in my throat and that vicious shade tearing me apart!"

Nobody responds. Everyone looks uncomfortable. (But understanding. Why? Why???)

You slump back down. "... I don't know if I remembered something and then forgot it. Wiped from my memory, like that daydreaming one forgot about her sister."

Odile looks down at her book. Mirabelle breathes in and out. Isabeau looks away, thinking.

After a moment, he says, "Did you... tell us about when you ran away from home?"

... what?

The baffled look you gives him makes him grimace. He rubs his lips together, brushing purposefully around the scar. "... Sif. Do vegetables mean anything to you?"

How is that...

You forgot something, didn't you.

"... I wanted to help you gain a connection to your country. To give you some sense of belonging, before we had to part! I noticed that, and so I had to avoid bringing up too many things about your past, but..." Mirabelle's still tearing up. "All that got you was killed. Because your island was wiped from memory, right?"

"... Wished to be wiped away." You correct. "I don't know for sure. We don't." You close your eye again. You can't look at Mirabelle. You can't look at Isabeau's worried face. "... But I know it used Wish Craft. I know its traditions." You hold a hand on your arm. You don't pull up the sleeve. "Stars were important. I don't remember them. My cloak was made by someone who cared about me, a set. It's an island, it makes sense. I can never remember who. If I did, it got wiped from my memory."

"... A set...?

You open your eye, grinning. "... I think it's why I like crab."

"WHAT?!" Mirabelle shouts.

Isabeau jumps. "HUH?!"

"I... suppose it makes sense?" Odile says, after a moment. "But, Siffrin, should we—"

"I know I'm from there, and I know at least some traditions from it. Kept some part of it at the edge of my memory." You hold a hand up to your chest. "Curse the King for making me aware of it. Blind him for making me think, even for a moment—" ah. You hiccuped. Not a good sign. You cover your mouth. "...I can practice what I can, I think. It helps me feel more at peace."

"... Even after all that?" Mirabelle whispers.

"Yes. It's... only a slice of what I used to have, but it's comforting to know why. Why three, why thirteen, why seven." You mime carving with your hands, not bringing out the dagger. "... I'm not desperate to remember everything. Just using what I do have now, is all."

Mirabelle is still frowning. Isabeau is still looking away.

You have a feeling that event didn't happen for just you and Mirabelle.

"... Hey, Isa, Odile, it's—"

╚(•⌂•)╝no more!!! pls!!! (￣ε￣) u all are so dreary!

The Change God pops up, this time copying a form that looks more like you, but with a star blazing on their chest. They put a hand against the scar on their face.

(´。＿。｀) honestly i dunno how u do that! its entertaining, a lil', but yet also not deep enough! Σ(っ °Д °;)っ distracting, distracting, distracting!

（￣︶￣）also ur session times up

"Our what?" Mirabelle asks, hands gripped tight.

bye!!! (＾Ｕ＾) *teleports u all back*

You blink, and you're back in front of the shelves in a shop.

You stumble a little, knees buckling from your body assuming you were still sitting when you are now standing.

"Whoa, Sif, you okay?" Says the distinctly not slightly airy voice of your Isabeau.

You turn around, hand gripping tight on the shelf, and you grin. "Hhhhey, Isa!"

Isabeau looks at your face. "... Did something happen?"

Well, you can't exactly lie. "... The Change God took me in for an multidimensional therapy session?"

"... huh"