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They used to come to this park all the time, buy their coffee from the Lima Bean and then take the twenty minute walk and sit by the dock of the lake, watch the sunset sometimes if they were free.
It’s strange, being here after two weeks without each other. Blaine’s still not used to waking up without hearing Avril Lavigne interrupting his morning, not used to sleeping without the sound of his best friend’s breathing coming through a phone speaker. If he quiets his mind, he can almost pretend nothing changed.
Only almost. Because there’s tension instead of coffee. Because he drove instead of walked. Because Sebastian refuses to look at him when his eyes rarely left him only a fortnight ago.
Oh, how things change.
Ironically, it’s Sebastian who speaks first. “Are you alright?”
“Of course.” He has to be. There’s no other option even when he’s lost half his friends—and half his soul, not that he’ll ever admit that part.
“It’s fine if you’re not. I’m not.”
Blaine inhales at that admission, nearly gasping. He knows Sebastian trusted him, more than anyone except maybe his sisters. He just didn’t expect that trust to still exist.
“Why?”
“That’s a very loaded question, y’know.”
He’s aware. He doesn’t know what he was referring to when he asked it, but he didn’t have anything else to ask. Why everything? Why be here? Why give the tape back? Why the lies? Why him? Why, why, just why?
“Start wherever you’d like.” He can’t help the way his voice shakes.
“Because I’m not a good person.” That’s when he looks back. His face almost devoid of all emotion, his eyes betraying him with the most devastating mix of fear and sadness and regret shining through them.
“That’s not true,” he protests. He always does. Sebastian may have his flaws, but he’s a good person. Blaine’s always believed that.
He laughs. It sounds too close to a sob. “I put you in a fucking hospital, B. You’ve been stuck at home recovering because of a stupid prank. I can’t be a good person and have done that to you.”
“Good people make mistakes.” He scoots closer to Sebastian. “You messed up, it’s okay.”
“I hurt you,” his voice breaks. “I hurt you.”
“I forgive you.”
“How?”
He intertwines their fingers, letting gravity keep their hands together. It’s unnaturally natural. “Cause I hurt you too.”
They cry for a while, together—silently, because they both know the consequences of being heard. Blaine wants to wipe away Sebastian’s tears, but they don’t do that. Didn’t. They didn’t do that. Because after today, they won’t be much of anything. All this is, is one last chance at a friendship with an expiration date. One last chance before they go back to the lives they lived before there was a Them, like they never mattered to each other. A part of history that will be erased but not forgotten.
“Are you okay?” Blaine whispers.
“No.” He sounds soft, fragile.
“Yeah, me neither.” It sounds like an apology. Neither of them will get one.
He lets go, brushing Sebastian’s palm as he pulls away.
At least it’s a gentle goodbye. Even if it leaves them heartbroken.