Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No one tells you about how awkward it is returning home after running your own cult, even less about how awkward it is running into the love of your life and discovering they have a new family. 

Suguru doesn’t even know how he got here, exactly. One day he was twenty-three with a promising future; early in his career, happy and in love with the most perfect mate imaginable. The next he was joining the Star Religious Group, abandoning all his friends and family, taking his little sisters with him. Along the way he’d even made good friends within the cult. They’d encouraged some of his more unhinged behaviour, and eventually Suguru was able to work his way up to cult leader. 

And then stuff happened, and he realized how insane he’d been, and now here he is five years later. He’d packed up his and his sisters' things (again), dragging the girls back kicking and screaming in the middle of the night. The girls had come willingly the first time, but now as teenagers they didn’t want to leave their new family. He had definitely spoiled the girls in that way. 

Suguru knows he had truly lost his way and can’t even begin to figure out why. His parents may have been a little set in their ways, coming from a rural town before moving to Tokyo when he started high school, but they’d always been kind and loving. Honestly if Suguru had stayed in contact, they’d probably have even supported the cult, too. Probably would’ve donated to it every month without him asking. 

He had loving friends. He had a loving partner. He had a complete support network and everything that people who join cults weren’t supposed to have. And yet, here he is. A former cult leader, running away from the life he’s built for himself. 

The neighbourhood his parents live in hasn’t changed too much over the years. It’s still quiet, with the same well-kept gardens and weathered buildings. There’s an old car parked on the side of the street that Suguru recognises as being their neighbour’s oldest daughter; only a few years younger than Suguru, she’d probably be graduating from university by now.  

It isn’t that late, but the streetlamps begin to flicker on as Suguru and the girls walk from the train station. The konbini Suguru worked at during high school is still open, and Suguru makes a point to stop at it. 

“Why bother.” Nanako grumbles, struggling to adjust her duffle bag over her shoulder. She’d been more than pissed off at taking public transit, so used to taking a car, privately chauffeured by one of the cult followers. “Mom and dad won’t care if we come home empty handed.” 

“I want to bring them something nice.” says Suguru, and he plasters on a polite smile. 

Truthfully, Suguru is ashamed and delaying the inevitable. He’d left abruptly, cutting off his parents entirely and taking off with his sisters in tow. They were only eleven, then, and far too impressionable. They’d wanted to come with him, refusing to be left alone with their parents, even being one of the factors in him leaving in the first place. His parents had never done anything to get their younger children back, and Suguru had taken this to mean that they’d never even loved the girls, furthering his reasons for joining the cult.  

He can never forgive himself. 

Suguru turns to walk into the Konbini when the doors slide open. Out comes an omega taller than him, snow white hair and sunglasses covering what Suguru already knows to be the most beautiful, vibrant blue eyes that Suguru has ever seen. He recognises Satoru’s scent before he even registers Satoru’s presence.  

Fuck. 

The first thing Suguru registers is that Satoru is holding the hand of a child, maybe two years old, three at most. He’s got dark hair and equally dark eyes, bright and curious in the way all children seem to be, and an all too familiar pout on his face.  

The second thing Suguru registers is that Satoru is here in this neighbourhood out of all places. 

Satoru freezes, standing in the middle of the doorway, wordlessly staring at Suguru with wide eyes. Suguru barely hears the words Mimiko is saying to him. 

Eventually, the world starts spinning again, and the kid next to Satoru tugs on his hand. “Mommy?” the kid asks with a tilt of his head.  

Suguru’s world collapses. 

“Right, sorry, baby.” Satoru says. He scoops up the kid, hurrying past Suguru without a word and leaving behind a faint scent of vanilla and chamomile. Suguru watches him scurry off. This is probably the worst welcome home he could have received. He almost feels as if he’s seen a ghost. 

“What the hell was that.” Nanako asks, trying to usher Suguru away from the door. He’s blatantly standing in the way, other shoppers manouvering around him as they exit the Konbini. 

Suguru shakes his head. “Nothing,” he lies 

The girls give him equal looks of disbelief, clearly not believing him. Suguru can’t blame them. He wouldn’t believe himself, either. 

“Let’s just go home,” Suguru says instead before either can get a word in. 

He’d known, deep down, that Satoru would eventually move on. Satoru was brilliant and beautiful, born into more money than anyone could ever hope to have. He’d always loved Satoru, and nothing had hurt more than leaving him behind. Despite it all, Suguru had known it was the only way to follow his ideals. He hoped Satoru would find happiness, but seeing and believing are different things. Suguru feels his own alpha scream out. 

He hadn’t realised it until now, but he doesn’t think he’d ever stopped loving Satoru. 

- 

Suguru knocks on the door – once, twice. He can hear running water, shut off before footsteps hurry to the door. The door is pulled open, revealing a short omega woman with greying hair. She has a few more wrinkles than the last time Suguru had seen her, but she still has a warm smile and smells like tea. She gasps.  

“Suguru?” she says softly, disbelieving. Her eyes dart around to look behind him. “Nanako? Mimiko?” 

“Hi, mom.” Suguru says. “We’re home.” 

She immediately throws her arms around him, already crying, and Suguru drops his bag to hug her back. “Come here,” she says, ushering the twins into the hug as well. They don’t quite fit, but they gather around as much as they can. 

“What are you – why are you – Kaito! Kaito!” Naoko Geto calls out for her husband, holding back tears as she tries. “Come inside.” she says, and her kids follow, gathering around the kitchen table. 

The house is still the same, but everything feels different. The paint on the table is still peeling, but most of the kitchen has been renovated, and where there once was an electric stove is now a gas one. The fruit sticker collection Satoru started under the counters when they were 18 is still there – Suguru makes sure to subtlety check - but now the fridge is devoid of magnets, calendar reminders, and art pieces. Anything that indicated that children had ever lived there. 

“What is it, dear?” Suguru hears as footsteps echo down the stairs. He hears a pause, no doubt his alpha father can smell his children near, and then he’s torpedoing into the kitchen. 

They’re welcomed with open arms, both parents crying and hugging them all at the same time. There are too many kids and not enough arms, and Suguru is squished between his sisters as tears spill down his parents' faces. He can practically smell the relief and happiness permeating from his parents, and the guilt naws at him.  

He can’t apologise enough. 

Once everyone seems to be cried out, Suguru explains that they’ve left the cult. He doesn’t know what came over him, but he thinks he’s come to his senses. It was an insane thing to do. He misses his parents and his friends. He wants to start over again and be back in their lives. His parents readily agree. 

“What are your plans now?” Kaito eventually asks. They’re still in the kitchen, and his mom has made tea for everyone.  

“I’ll find a job.” Suguru says, looking down at the mug in his hands. “I homeschooled the girls, but I think it’s best they go back to public school. In the meantime, do you mind if I stay here?” 

“Suguru,” Naoko says, hand on Suguru’s cheek as if she’s still trying to confirm that the person in front of her is real. “You can stay as long as you like. You can even have your old rooms back. The girls will just need new bedding, but we’ll need to fix yours first. Can you stay on the couch for tonight?” 

“Fix it?” Suguru asks, wondering what that could possibly mean. 

Kaito nods. “We’ve repurposed your room, so we’ll have to clear it. We can do that tomorrow, though.” 

This strikes Suguru as odd. He knows he’s been gone for five years, but his parents have always been rather introverted people with small hobbies. If his dad had needed an office, Suguru would have understood, but what could they have possibly needed his room for aside from extra storage? 

“I can help-” Suguru begins, before getting cut off. Regardless of how weird it is, and that he’s now technically intruding in his parents' house, he’d still like a room, and he doesn’t want to make his parents put in any extra work on his behalf. 

“-No, we’ll do it.” Kaito says firmly. “If you don’t have plans for tomorrow, you can take the girls to register for high school instead. We’ll fix up your room during the day.” 

“Okay,” Suguru agrees, and that’s that. 

They end up staying up late talking and reminiscing. They don’t talk about the cult, and they don’t talk about the future. It’s past midnight when the twins begin to feel sleepy, and Suguru belatedly realises they’ve missed dinner. His dad goes to set up the twins’ room while his mom gets blankets and bedding for the couch. 

Suguru drags himself to the living room. Aside from some new, plush couches that look far more inviting than the ones Suguru had grown up with, the living room looks the same as always. There are a few new pictures on the mantal above the fireplace – notably, one of a toddler aged Suguru in front of the twin’s elementary school is prominently placed between one of him at his university graduation and one of the twins on their 11th birthday, shortly before they’d left.  

Suguru remembers his graduation day well. He’d gone out to celebrate with his friends, and Satoru, being a lightweight, had gotten far too drunk. In turn, he’d gotten far too handsy. Nanami hadn’t been too pleased to find them half naked in some random stall bathroom. 

“Here you are.” Naoko says, pulling Suguru away from his thoughts and the photos. She sets the blankets and pillows down. “This is a pullout, too, so you can set it up when you’re ready to go to bed.” 

“Thanks, mom.” Suguru says, and his mom disappears into the kitchen.  

The pullout fits more comfortably than the old couches ever did. Suguru feels nostalgic as he takes in the softness of his blankets, smothered in his parents’ calming chamomile and lavender scents. The guilt of leaving comes crashing back, and Suguru feels the sudden urge to smoke. 

He pulls a pack from his bag and heads outside. 

To exit the house through the front door, he needs to go through the kitchen. Despite the fact that Suguru had just seen her enter the kitchen, his mother isn’t there. Instead, she’s out in the front yard, having left the door wide open, and speaking to someone on the phone in hushed tones. “Yes, he’s home. You’ll have to tell him soon, otherwise I don’t think we can – no, no we won’t. I promise.” 

“Mom?” Suguru says, grabbing her attention as he stands at the door. 

Naoko whips around, hanging up on her call with a terse smile on her lips. “Yes, Suguru?” 

Suguru waves his pack of cigarettes. “I wanted to smoke. What are you doing outside?”  

“You still smoke?” His mother asks, blatantly ignoring the second half of his question. Suguru nods. 

Naoko laughs. “Well, I suppose I’d rather smell cigarettes on you than not be able to smell you at all. I’ll be going to bed now, though. Goodnight Suguru, I love you.” She brushes past him, and Suguru can’t help but feel like she’s hiding something. 

- 

“This sucks.” Mimiko says at breakfast as Suguru recounts his documents. He’s already printed and filled in the school registrations, has the twins’ birth certificates, and even copies of their previous school records. 

The twins look exhausted, but Suguru can’t blame them. It’s been a long night, and while he’s always been an early riser, he doesn’t think the twins have woken up before 9 once in the time he’d been running the cult. His homeschooling had been good, and his friends and followers had helped, but the girls had still been allowed to run their own schedule.  

“Get used to it.” Suguru says, rereviewing the documents. 

The high school is, like many things, just as he remembers it. It’s a sleek, modern building with large windows and natural light. The foyer faces towards the east, and Suguru recalls how sweltering it would be every afternoon as the sun moved in.  

Suguru had grown up in a small town, only moving to Tokyo at fifteen, and he’d been amazed at the difference. He’d gone from a 100-person school to a 2000-person grad class alone. 

“Okay, and I just need birth certificates for the girls.” The administrator says, a pretty woman with long dark hair and a scar on her face. Suguru thinks he might know her. She’s not too much older than him, but she wouldn’t have been a teacher when Suguru was a student. Suguru had even walked past a few of his own teachers on his way to the office. “And both girls are betas?”  

"Yes,” Suguru confirms, looking over at the girls, who are standing a few feet over and admiring some of the awards Jujutsu High has earned over the years.  

The office door slams open, and Suguru jumps at the sound. “Hey Utahime, did you hear-”  

The speaker freezes, mouth agape as he stares at Suguru.  

Once again, Suguru finds himself face to face with Satoru. Suguru hadn’t expected to run into Satoru the first time, let alone a second. And here at the school out of all places? He already smells the discomfort on Satoru. 

Suguru swallows the lump in his throat. “Satoru,” he greets as calmly as he can. He takes in Satoru’s frazzled appearance, hair all spiked up, pretty eyes covered by sunglasses. His eyes briefly flick towards his neck, checking for a mating bite, but Satoru’s wearing too high of a collar for Suguru to see.  

“Suguru.” Satoru says back. “What are you doing here?” 

“Registering my sisters for school.” Suguru explains. “They’re second years. What are you doing here?” 

“Oh. I’m a teacher here.” 

“You’re a teacher here.” Suguru parrots back, and he can hear the disbelief clear in his voice. Satoru’s always been brilliant and a natural prodigy. Teaching had never been his strong suit, nor was respecting authority. Teaching is one of the last things Suguru would’ve expected from Satoru. 

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Satoru says. There’s a pout on his face, now. Suguru hasn’t seen the man in almost five years, but he misses that pout, misses kissing it off Satoru’s face, leaving him breathless.  

“Right.” says Suguru, shaking the memory off as quickly as he can. He turns back to the administrator – Utahime – and asks, “Are we done?” 

She nods. “Their first day will be tomorrow. Luckily, since they’re second years they’ll have Kusakabe instead of this moron.” She angles her head towards Satoru, who lets out an offended hey.  

“Great, thank you.” Suguru says. Then, to Satoru, “I suppose I’ll see you around.” 

“I hope not.” Satoru replies, and Suguru’s heart dies just a little. 

Chapter Text

Unfortunately for Suguru, both his sisters recognise Satoru as “that guy with the kid Suguru stared at weirdly” from the day before, and Suguru is not only forced to remember that Satoru has a family now, but he is also forced to explain that Satoru is his ex.  

"Wait, was that Toru-Chan?” asks Mimiko, because of course she remembers him. The girls weren’t that young when they broke up, and Satoru had been family, but Suguru still held out some kind of hope that he wouldn’t have to think about it. 

“Wow, and he has a kid now?” Nanako says. “Wasn’t he super rich?” 

“You broke up with a rich guy just for this?” Mimiko gestures to the house. “We should’ve stayed with the cult.” 

“Okay, enough.” Suguru says, unlocking the front door. He’d never given up his key, but he’ll have to remember to get his sisters their own copies. “We broke up a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.”  

When they get inside, their parents are there to greet them, ushering Suguru into his room to show them the fruits of their labour. It looks exactly the same as it’s always been, except cleaner. It smells faintly of vanilla, only just enough so that Suguru thinks he might be imagining it after thinking of Satoru, softly intertwined with the more powerful chamomile and lavender scents of his parents. 

“Uh, why’s there a Pokemon toy on the ground?” Nanako says, pointing under the desk. 

“It’s a Sanrio character, actually.” Suguru says, picking up the Cinnamoroll plushie. It looks old and well loved. It reminds Suguru of the time he’d spent an hour trying to win one for Satoru at a claw machine. It’d been one of his favourite nest items. “Why is there a Cinnamoroll plushie here?” 

“I babysit for one of my friends.” Naoko says far too quickly and in one breath. “He must have left his toy here.” 

“In my room?” Suguru asks. 

“Well, you know kids.” Kaito says, wrapping an arm around Naoko’s waist. “They get everywhere.”  

Suguru doesn’t question it. With his room cleared, he starts unpacking his suitcase and putting clothes away. The posters of his favourite bands are still up, and it reminds him of all the times he and Shoko had snuck out to see them. Satoru had always begrudgingly come along, never actually wanting to see the band, but not wanting to be left out, either. 

It’s nice to be home. 

- 

Of course, being home turns out to be mind-numbingly boring. From running a cult to essentially being jobless, Suguru doesn’t know what to do with himself. On top of that, the girls being at a real school means there's even less to do now that he’s no longer home schooling them. His parents are retired now, so Suguru spends time helping with chores and odd tasks, but there’s only so much he can do. 

He starts applying to jobs asap, although he’s not quite sure what kind of job he’ll be able to find with “former cult leader and member” under his belt. Before that, he’d gone to school for Kinesiology with a plan to get into physical therapy. Technically, he has experience working with kids as well, but he finds it hard to believe that parents would trust him with their children. 

In addition to all this, Suguru finds the courage to do what he’s been meaning to when he got back as well: Text Shoko. 

He’d meant to message Shoko sooner, truly. Alongside his parents, she was one of the few people he’d wanted to reconnect with. Aside from Satoru, she’d been his closest friend and had always helped keep him grounded. They’d both kept the same numbers, so it should’ve been easier. It’s not until he’s lying in bed, bored as hell, that he finally manages to send his first text.  

To: Ieiri Shoko  

From: Suguru Geto  

Hey  

To: Suguru Geto  

From: Ieiri Shoko  

Oh, it’s the cult leader. I hear you’re back.   

To: Ieiri Shoko  

From: Suguru Geto  

Yeah. Can we meet up?   

To: Suguru Geto  

From: Ieiri Shoko  

I’ll find time  

They end up meeting for lunch at a small cafe the next day. Suguru is already sitting at a table outside with two drinks – a medium black coffee for himself, and a herbal tea for Shoko – when Shoko shows up, sliding into the spot across from him. Her hair’s grown out, and the bags under her eyes look infinitely worse, but it’s still the same Shoko he’s always known. 

The same but different. It’s a theme he’s starting to notice. 

“So, you back for good, or are your followers going to come shoot you?” Because of course that’s the first thing Shoko would ask. 

“No, I don’t expect to see any of my followers again.” Suguru says. He may have left the cult just as abruptly as he’d joined, but he’d left it in good hands. Besides, he’d left as the leader, free to do with his own cult as he pleased. 

“Rather confident, aren’t you?” Shoko teases. “What’re your plans now? I heard from Satoru that his sisters go to Jujutsu High now.” 

“Yes, they do. I ran into him when I helped them register.” Suguru replies, not at all surprised that Satoru and Shoko are still friends, nor that he’s already informed her of their brief meeting. He wants to ask her about him. For his own sanity, he doesn’t.   

“I’m job hunting now.” He says. “Once I find one and adjust to normal life and save up a bit, I’ll move out from my parents again.” 

Shoko clicks her tongue. “Well, if you’re not too opposed to it, I think I can hook you up with something. On one condition, though.” 

“Oh?” 

“You never do that shit again.” Shoko shoves her finger in his chest. “That was the dumbest fucking thing imaginable.” 

“Promise.” Suguru says, and he means it. 

- 

As it turns out, Shoko knows a person who knows a person who volunteers at a community centre that needs a new program manager. It works out in his favour. He dons a dress shirt, aces the interview, and starts the next week.  

He likes the job. He gets to spend time budgeting for the year, planning out the programs, and organizing events. It's fun and he likes his coworkers just as much. Even better is that he feels like he’s giving back to the community, atoning for running a cult, and the community centre itself is rather inclusive. There are several recreational programs for sports, music, and art of all ages, and even a library and a daycare.  

Eventually, Suguru finds a sense of normalcy in living at home. Now that he has a routine, his parents have started leaving the house more often, fulfilling obligations they’ve been putting off, coming home smelling like vanilla in a way that feels familiar to Suguru, but he can’t quite name. They always turn down Suguru when he offers to help. 

He even gets back into helping his sisters with homework. They’re somewhat enjoying school now and have even made friends, including a first-year brunette they love going shopping with, a “Moody emo kid” and a pink haired athlete that every club wants as their own.  

- 

Suguru is called from his office near the end of the day when one of the daycare workers trips over a toy and twists her ankle. He sends her to the hospital to get looked at, and with one employee down Suguru is asked to help take care of the kids. It’s the toddler age group, and Suguru has plenty of experience from helping his parents with his sisters when they were young. 

Suguru walks around, getting to know all the kids. One of them, Suguru notices, is in the corner with a picture book all by himself. He's too young to know how to read, probably about three years old, so Suguru assumes he’s just looking at the pictures. The pup has dark hair and looks strikingly familiar. Suguru is about to say hello when he gets a whiff of vanilla intertwined with chamomile.  

He recognises the scent immediately.  

Right, of course, Suguru thinks. Because of course Satoru’s kid would go to the daycare at the community centre Suguru works at. Of course he does. What else would life do other than mock him by forcing him to take care of his ex-boyfriend’s child with another alpha.  

Briefly, Suguru recalls that Satoru had various nannies over the years. He’d learned to love them, only for them to eventually leave and be replaced by another. Satoru had been heartbroken each time. He didn’t like the idea of daycare, either, but he’d grown up isolated from the world and wanted his own children to have a brighter childhood.  

“The pup in the corner,” Suguru begins to ask one of the other employees, voice low enough that Satoru’s kid won’t overhear. “Does he always stay by himself?” 

“Oh, Satoshi? Yeah, he keeps to himself a lot. He’s really quiet.” The daycare worker replies. “He started here recently so he hasn’t made any friends yet.” 

The kid – Satoshi – furrows his brows in concentration, squinting down at his book.Curious in a way that feels morbid, Suguru walks over, kneeling down so he’s as close to eye level as he can be with a toddler. 

“Hi,” Suguru says. 

“Hi,” Satoshi says back, looking over his book at Suguru with an air of caution. He has long, thick eyelashes that, despite the colour, he must get from Satoru. 

“Would you like me to read to you?” asks Suguru. 

Satoshi bites his lip, looking between Suguru and the book. “Um, okay.” He says. 

Suguru takes the book and adjusts himself so they’re sitting next to each other, able to both look at it. Now that he’s close enough, Satoshi sniffs at Suguru. “You smell like Obaa-San.” he says, almost accusingly.  

Satoru’s mom, Suguru remembers, smelt like brown sugar and vanilla, nothing like Suguru, who’s scent he gets from his own mother. An ugly feeling gnaws at Suguru again. He thinks about the kind of alpha who must have fathered Satoshi. Does he know Satoru only pretends to hate the rain so he has an excuse to stay in bed longer on Sunday mornings? Does he know that Satoru takes no less than 8 sugars in his coffee? Does he know that Satoru has replayed Digimon World more than fifteen times? Does he know Satoru like Suguru does? 

A quick glance at Satoshi reminds him that he must. The kid is three, after all. That’s more than enough time to get to know someone, especially someone you have a pup with.  

“Is it bad?” Suguru asks instead. Satoshi shakes his head. “It’s good.” 

Suguru reads the picture book. It’s about a dog who learns to enjoy his first snow day. It doesn't take long to finish. “Would you like me to read your another?” Suguru asks.  

Satoshi shyly nods.  

"Sure," Suguru says. “Why don’t you go pick out which one you’d like to read?” 

Satoshi scrambles over to the bookshelf, pulling out books at random. He comes back with four different ones. Suguru isn’t quite sure what he expected out of the day, but he spends the rest of his shift reading the books to Satoshi. He finishes the ones Satoshi has picked out, then moves to new ones, until they’ve finished the bottom shelf.  

One by one, the kids are picked up. Satoshi is the last to leave, and Suguru double checks the daycare attendance list, the name Satoshi Gojo taunting him. The Gojo family is prestigious, so someone marrying into Satoru’s family and taking his name isn’t all that surprising. It doesn’t help Suguru answer the question of “Who is Satoru’s new alpha” though. It probably isn’t even someone he knows. 

“Sorry I’m late.” Suguru hears before he sees. “Seriously? What the hell are you doing here. Are you stalking me?” Displeased pheromones waft off Satoru. 

“I work here, Satoru.” Suguru brushes off, as Satoshi lets out an excited “Mommy!” and runs up to Satoru for a hug. “One of the daycare workers broke her ankle and had to leave. I’m just filling in for her.” Suguru explains 

“Oh man, it wasn’t Ami, was it? I love Ami.” Satoru says as he collects Satoshi’s things. He makes a beeline to the cubbies, grabbing the only bag left. There’s a Cinamoroll plushie sticking out of one of the pockets. Satoru pulls out to give to Satoshi, who hugs it tight, and helps Satoshi put on his backpack. It’s far cuter than Suguru expects it to be. 

“I'll be sure to tell her you said that.” Suguru replies. He glances at the clock, taking in the late hour. Jujutsu High would’ve ended at least an hour ago. The daycare isn’t far from the school, so it shouldn’t have taken Satoru this long to get here. In fact, he usually sees some of the students come by for the rec programs. 

“Great.” Satoru says. "Well, bye.” and then he’s turning on his heel and out the door, holding Satoshi’s hand tight. 

“Bye,” Suguru says weakly as the door slams shut. 

- 

Unfortunately, chasing after young children isn’t recommended with a broken ankle, so Ami won’t be back to work for the next few weeks. In the meantime, Suguru agrees to take her place in the daycare. It’s not ideal, but the alternative is either not having enough staff for the daycare, or telling parents they’ll need to find other childcare for the foreseeable future. Suguru doesn’t like either option, so he makes do with the new plans. 

It doesn’t end up being that bad. The biggest issue is that Satoshi has inexplicably taken a liking to Suguru. He follows Suguru around the entire day, asking him to play with him. They end up playing Candy Land that day, and the next, they’re colouring in picture books. By the end of the week Satoshi is taking home a bag full of arts and crafts to Satoru that Suguru has helped with. 

The daycare workers are thrilled by this. According to them, Satoshi has been attending daycare for weeks, and not only has he not played with the other kids, but he’d also barely wanted to interact with the adults, too. It wasn't until Suguru came along that he started opening up. Beforehand, he’d refuse to ask for help, but now he comes to the staff, asking for help with his shoelaces or to open up juice boxes.  

- 

“What are you drawing?” Suguru asks as he washes paint off his hands the following week. It’s Wednesday now, and Wednesday is paint day. 

“Agumon!” Satoshi holds up his art piece proudly. It’s an orange blob to Suguru. He compliments it anyway. “That’s a great Agumon.”  

The girl sitting next to Satoru perks up. “I made Gabumon!” she says, holding up a blue and grey blob.  

“Wow!” Satoshi says. 

Suguru laughs and takes his eyes off them to finish cleaning up the supplies. Satoshi is starting to become more social, and this week he’s done more activities with the other pups. He’d joined story time, sitting in a circle with the kids while they were read the story about the dog from last week, and now he’s sitting at a table with Suguru and another girl while he paints. When he looks back, Satoshi is playing with the girl and the Hatake twins. The daycare workers look like a miracle has just happened. 

- 

“Look, mommy!” Satoshi says at day end, shoving a paper up at Satoru with his little hands. “I drawed Agumon!”  

“It’s beautiful.” Satoru hums. “My little artist.”  

It's still weird seeing Satoru. There are so many things left unsaid. He doesn’t know anything about Satoru’s life, still hasn’t asked Shoko about him, but sees him almost every day now. They haven’t had a proper conversation, the man running out with his pup as soon as he can. Suguru didn’t think it was possible for Satoru to hate him, but he seems more awkward than anything else. 

“He made new friends today.” Suguru decides to say. 

"What?” Satoru asks. The late afternoon sun streams through the windows, casting a warm glow on his face. He looks so pretty. 

“One of the girls also drew a Digimon, so she convinced him to play pretend Digimon with her and her friends.” 

"What?” Satoru repeats again. 

“They chose their partners and pretended to be on an adventure. It’s a thing kids do. You should know this, Satoru.” 

“No, I get that – I just – Satoshi played with other kids?” Satoru asks. There’s an air of amazement, and Suguru smells the happiness on him. 

Suguru nods. “Yeah. He had fun.” 

Satoru smiles brightly. “He doesn’t usually do that. Thank you, Suguru.” 

Suguru shrugs. “Not much I did.” 

“He hasn’t really opened up until you started, so you must have done something right.” 

"I suppose.” Suguru says, beginning to feel a little awkward.  

“Anyway, I need to get going. See you around, Suguru.” he says with a little wave, and it feels like progress. 

Chapter Text

Suguru’s routine is fairly simple: he gets home from work, helps with dinner, tidies the house, and goes to bed. Sometimes he meets Shoko. His parents occasionally have weekend plans they seem to not want their kids to know about, and his sisters spend their time with their new friends, whom Suguru has yet to meet.  

Shoko keeps him up to date with their friend group. He’s met up with Nanami and Haibara a few times now as well but hasn’t heard anything about Satoru. It’s a topic they all seem to avoid, probably for good reason. It feels like Suguru is left in the dark about Satoru’s life, but he supposes that’s the nature of breakups.  

Every Sunday morning, Suguru also goes grocery shopping. His mom plans their meals for the week, his sisters add requests to the grocery list, and off Suguru goes to the nearest market. He’s standing at the produce section deciding between two watermelons when he hears a high-pitched voice cry out “Sugi-Chan.” 

That’s another thing that’s changed. Somewhere along the way, Satoru’s pup had started calling him by his first name, except he hadn’t been able to pronounce “Suguru.” Satoru hasn’t said anything about it, but Suguru can tell he thinks it’s hilarious.  

When he looks over, a small black-haired thing has crashed into his leg. 

“Sugi- Chan!” Satoshi says with a bright smile on his face. “Hello!” 

“Hello to you too, Satoshi.” Suguru ruffles his hair, heart melting at the sight. “And what are you doing here all alone?” he asks, already looking for Satoru. 

Satoru is a few feet away and jogging up to them. “Satoshi, what did I say about running off?” He says, looking somewhat exhausted. “Sorry, Suguru. He gets excited.” 

“Wonder where he gets that from.” Suguru says, and he feels his mouth quirk into a teasing smile. Satoru scowls at him. 

"Well, there’s nothing to apologise.” He continues saying.  “How has your weekend been?” 

“We watched Panda with Obaasan and Jiisan!” Satoshi interjects. “It was cool!” 

"Panda?” Suguru asks, looking to Satoru for clarification.  

“We watched all the Kung Fu Panda movies with my parents yesterday.” Satoru explains. “They never watched a single kids movie with me, but they’ll watch four with him. And now I need to make Chinese for dinner, because someone wants noodles."  

“For a second I thought you were referring to Yaga-san's dog.” Suguru says, thinking of the days when Yaga would bring him to class, and nothing would get done. Satoru snorts. “Well, noodles are delicious. Good choice, Satoshi.” 

“Do you want noodles too?” Satoshi asks. “Can Sugi-Chan have noodles too?” He tugs hard on Satoru’s sleeve. “Please, mommy?” 

“Uh, if he likes.” Satoru says, shooting a nervous look at Suguru. 

This is dangerous territory now. Suguru, as desperate as he is to know more about Satoru’s life now, to have Satoru in his, wouldn’t feel right intruding like this. He’s already a safe distance away. They might be interacting more now, but they’ve yet to hang out one on one. Suguru barely knows anything about his life now other than the fact that he has a pup and works as a teacher.  

“Can you please please please?” Satoshi begs. 

Suguru knows he should say no. Wants to say no. Can’t handle seeing Satoru’s new home, meeting his new alpha, but with big, pleading eyes looking up at him, Suguru’s resolve shatters. The last thing he wants to do is disappoint the pup in front of him. 

“Sure,” he says, inwardly cringing when Satoru glares at him. 

They finish grocery shopping, and Suguru stops off at his place first to drop off his own groceries. He quickly changes clothes into something less casual than sweats, hopes Satoru won’t notice or at least call him out, and follows the directions Satoru had given him. 

Satoru's apartment is a newer, high-end building. It’s the type of swanky place Satoru’s parents would have chosen, with black marble counters and grey walls. It smells strongly of Satoru’s candied vanilla omega and, strangely, not a trace of an alpha around. It shouldn’t give Suguru the false hope that it does. 

"Sugi-Chan's here!” Satoshi says as a greeting when Suguru is let in. “Come play!” 

“Yes, go play, Sugi-chan.” Satoru says with an air of fake nonchalance. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” 

The apartment has four bedrooms, and Satoshi’s is the second to last at the end of the hall. There are more toys than Suguru has ever seen in his life, including a giant Agumon plushie, and a small Cinamoroll in the corner of the bed. The floor is nearly covered in squish mellows. Satoshi talks a mile a minute, telling Suguru about all his toys, showing each of them off. Suguru would be very surprised if Satoshi presented as anything other than an omega. 

“Which one is your favourite?” Suguru prompts after Satoshi has gone through most of his toys. 

Satoshi crawls up on his bed, reaching over to pick up the Cinamoroll. “This one!” he says cheerfully, holding it up to present to Suguru.  

“And why is that?” Suguru asks. He wonders if it’s the same one he gave Satoru. 

Satoshi hugs Cinamoroll close to his chest, and Suguru feels the mood shift. Satoshi’s lip quivers, turning into a pout. Like this, he looks just like Satoru. “It’s from daddy.” he says quietly. Suguru’s breath hitches in his throat.  

The door opens as Satoru pokes his head in, interrupting the moment. “Dinner’s ready.” he says before disappearing. Suguru stands, helping Satoshi to the kitchen and even helping him to wash his hands. 

As promised, Satoru has made noodles and some dumplings. Satoru's always been a good cook, but between the two of them Suguru had been the one to do all the cooking, mostly because it bored Satoru. If Satoru had his way, he’d probably consist of nothing but sugar and takeout.  

Suguru wonders if he takes better care of himself for Satoshi’s sake. 

Dinner is easier than Suguru expected, conversation flowing naturally. Suguru doesn't talk about the cult, and Satoru doesn’t ask, but he does tell Suguru about his work. He’s the first-year math teacher, so he doesn’t have Suguru’s sisters, but he does have some of their friends. Yaga is the principal now, and he’s as stuffy as ever. They talk about Shoko and how she’s dating one of Satoru’s colleagues, the administrator Suguru met on that first date. 

“Can you stay for a bit?” Satoru asks once Satoshi starts yawning. “I’ll just put Satoshi down for bed and maybe we can talk?”  

“Sure,” Suguru says. He’s not sure what that means for him or what Satoru would possibly want to talk about it, but he takes it as a good sign. It’s long overdue, at least. 

"Great, thanks. I’ll just -” Satoru points down the hall. 

“Yeah,” Suguru says. 

While Satoru is gone, Suguru does the dishes. He can hear Satoshi whine about not wanting to go to bed, and laughs, remembering his sisters fighting with their parents about bedtime, too. By the time he’s done, Satoru isn’t back, so Suguru decides to look around the apartment. 

Pictures of Satoru and Satoshi decorate the living room. There are even a few of Satoshi with Satoru’s grandparents. Nothing indicates that Satoshi’s dad is still living with them, and Suguru feels equally guilty as he is relieved.  

“Sorry about that.” Satoru says, joining Suguru in the living room. “He wanted to hang out with you more. And sorry about, you know,” Satoru waves vaguely. “Him ambushing you like that.” 

“He's what, two? Three?” Suguru says. “It’s fine.” 

Satoru opens his mouth then snaps it closed. He seems to fight with himself, not knowing what to say, before eventually settling on, "He's small for his age.” 

“Okay.” Suguru replies, because there’s not much else he can say to that. He’s not even sure how that’s relevant. 

“Anyway,” Satoru starts again. “I’m sorry it’s been weird. Just – seeing you again isn’t something I thought would ever happen, and when your mo – when I saw you at Jujutsu High, I wasn’t sure what to think. It felt so sudden. The Konbini was one thing, but the school ...”   

“I’m sorry.” Suguru says. “I wish we could’ve reconnected differently.”  

Satoru shakes his head. “It’s fine. Shoko told me you’re back to hanging out with everyone, so we would’ve run into each other eventually. Besides, Satoshi seems to like you. He only started daycare this year and hasn’t been making friends until you came around, so I'm really happy he’s opened up.” 

“He’s a good kid.” is all Suguru says, unsure what to add, despite wanting to know so much more. Like who’s Satoshi’s father and where is it? Is Satoru mated, does he have an alpha? Does he still love Suguru the way Suguru loves him? The questions swirl in his mind, but he doesn’t dare voice them. 

“Can we be friends again?” Satoru asks eventually, sounding a little shy. Suguru studies his face, the way his eyes seem softer, and it tugs at something deep.  

"Of course.” Suguru says, even though he thinks it might be a lie.  

Satoru smiles, not quite reaching his eyes. It feels bittersweet. 

- 

When he gets home, he finds his family situated around the kitchen table, yelling over a card game. Mimiko has what looks like half the deck in her hands, and his dad is empty handed. They all look up at him at once. 

Nanako’s nose crinkles. “Why do you smell like that?” she asks. “It’s like I can smell you on yourself. That is so weird.” 

"Well, I was with an old friend, for starters.” Suguru says, pulling up a chair. “His pup smells like chamomile, too, so you may be smelling that.” 

“Would that be Satoru?” his mother asks. Suguru nods “I thought I recognized the scent.” 

To Suguru’s surprise, she doesn’t ask any follow up questions. She’d always loved Satoru as a second son, so he thought she’d at least want to know how he is. Instead, she changes the topic back to the card game, placing down a queen and causing an argument between the twins, pushing dinner out of his mind. 

- 

Being friends with Satoru is harder than Suguru thought it’d be. 

Of course, they do end up meeting and hanging out again, because ultimately, they share the same friend group. It's almost like Suguru never left – except for now he can’t pull Satoru close, can’t whisper little jokes in Satoru’s ears, can’t go home with Satoru. Not anymore. 

But still, they’re back to texting, even occasionally seeing each other one on one. It starts with Suguru asking how Satoshi is doing, and then it turns into how Satoru himself is doing, and the next thing he knows they’re sending each other little memes throughout the day, texting each other every thought that occurs. They even see a movie together. 

The biggest difference when they hang out now is Satoshi. Satoru usually brings him along, although sometimes he finds childcare when they go out late for dinner and drinks. Suguru doesn’t think about it too much until one day Utahime asks who’s taking care of Satoshi for the day. Satoru lets it slip that Satoshi is with “His grandparents” when Suguru knows Satoru’s parents are out of town. Satoru responds back with a shrug and says they came back early. 

Suguru knows it’s a lie. His parents have been going on their annual trip to Okinawa since Suguru has known Satoru. There is no way they’d have come back early, not without a good reason, and outside of a medical emergency, there’s no reason they’d come back early. The only question is why would Satoru lie? 

- 

Ami is back at work, which means Suguru is done helping with the daycare. This, of course, makes Satoshi sad, and he makes sure to tell Suguru that. He also tells Satoru, who makes sure to also tell Suguru, and then demands he come take the two of them out for ice cream. 

It’s been weeks of helping out with the daycare, and weeks of spending his days with Satoshi. In that time, Satoshi’s also made new friends, including the girl who likes Digimon from that second week, and the Hatake twins. Suguru sees them play all the time, and Satoru’s even met with their parents for a few playdates.  

It’s far past Satoshi’s bedtime and they’re on some benches at Satoshi’s favourite park, Satoshi in Suguru’s lap, enjoying their cones. Satoru is complaining about grading his students’ latest math test. One of the students, Megumi, who Suguru now knows as the twins’ emo friend, was the only one to score higher than 90%. Everyone else had miserably failed. 

“Have you considered writing an easier test?” Suguru teases, cleaning up ice cream from around Satoshi’s mouth.  

“Nah,” Satoru replies, and then he lightly kicks Suguru. “These kids gotta learn how to keep up. I was better than them at that age.” 

“That’s because you were a prodigy, Satoru.” Suguru says with an amused look on his face. He catches Satoru’s leg with his own, locking their ankles together. “What if poor Satoshi has a teacher like you?” 

“It won’t matter. Satoshi takes after me, so he’s going to be just as smart!” 

“Yeah!” Satoshi agrees.  

Suguru frowns, looking down at Satoshi in his lap. He’s almost done his cone, and Suguru feels the need to give him the rest of his own. He’s beginning to spoil Satoshi the way he’d spoiled Satoru.  

Satoru side eyes him.  

“He doesn’t look like you, though.” Suguru says carefully. “You don’t think he’d be more like his dad?” 

It’s the first time he’s ever brought up the alpha that impregnated Satoru, and he feels his blood drumming in his ears. He can tell Satoru is single, between the lack of an alpha scent and any mention of a dad, that much is obvious. He just doesn’t know what happened.  

Satoru looks like a deer in headlines. “He might be.” He murmurs, looking down at his feet.  

“You don’t have to tell me, but -”  

“He left.” Satoru says, looking back up at Suguru with newfound confidence. “He left, okay? I don’t want to talk about it.”  

“Okay.” Suguru replies, leaving an awkward silence. He feels even worse now, knowing that not only did he leave Satoru, but so did a second alpha. 

The silence is broken once Satoshi tugs at his ears. “Ow,” Suguru says, ignoring the pain.  

"I want your ears.” Satoshi says out of nowhere, still holding onto Suguru’s ear. It forces. Suguru to keep his head low within Satoshi’s grasp, long hair spilling over him. It’s tied in a half up style, but Suguru hopes he doesn’t start pulling on his hair, too. 

“My ears?” Suguru replies, bringing a hand up to feel them and gently guiding Satoshi’s hands away. 

“They have black!” Satoshi says, and he tries reaching up again. Suguru catches his hand, bringing it down to his lap. They’re so small compared to his own hands. 

“They’re earrings, Satoshi.” he says. Then he lifts his head up, giving a sly smile towards Satoru, “Do you want your ears pierced, too?” 

“No.” Satoru immediately shuts down, while Satoshi says, “Yes!” 

"But mommy!” Satoshi whines, and Suguru laughs as he watches the two argue. Still, though, he remembers the moment, and the next time he sees Satoshi, he ends up gifting him black clip-on earrings. 

“I wish you were my daddy.” Satoshi says upon opening the gift. Satoru isn’t within ear shot, but Suguru feels his heart shatter. He wishes he was Satoshi’s dad, too. 

Chapter Text

It’s almost the end of Suguru’s shift when Satoru calls. Suguru recognises it as Satoru because of the obnoxious phone number he’s set for himself.  

“What do you want, Satoru?” Suguru asks teasingly. He’s in his office alone, and just needs to finish up a few things before he goes. He could leave them until the next time he comes in, but it’s Friday, and he’d like to leave for the weekend with a clean slate.  

“Can you do me a huge favour?” Satoru asks. He sounds breathless. “I just had a huge work issue come up. Would you be able to take Satoshi for me? Just a few hours. I should be done by five.” 

“Sure,” Suguru says, slamming his laptop shut. It can wait until Monday. “It’s nice out, so maybe I’ll take him to the park again? He loves the sandbox.” 

“Yeah, sure, sounds good.” Satoru says, like he’s not entirely paying attention. “Thanks, I owe you one, Sugi-chan.” 

Suguru groans, but he gets to the daycare in record time. Nowadays, Suguru usually finds Satoshi playing with other kids, but with the late hour, Suguru assumes he’s the last one left again. He’s since then learned that Satoru often runs late grading assignments, never wanting to take work home with him so he can spend as much time as possible with Satoshi.  

The scene Suguru is expecting is nowhere near close as to what he finds. The daycare room reeks of distress, and Satoshi is inconsolably crying as Ami tries to calm him down. Omega pheromones seem to do nothing as Satoshi continues to wail, ignoring any of her attempts to scent him.  

“Oh, Suguru, maybe you can help.” says Ami as Suguru hurries over, taking in her frazzled appearance. He scoops Satoshi in his arms, pressing his nose into Satoshi’s scent gland and letting out his own scent. He’s never done this to a pup he’s not related to, not sure if it’ll even work given that he’s an alpha, but he tries anyway. Satoshi whines, immediately beginning to settle down. 

“You’re okay,” Suguru coos, running his hands throw Satoshi’s hair, just like he used to do for Satoru whenever he was upset. He lets out more and more of his scent.  

Satoshi hiccups, tears slowing down until he begins to tire himself out. His breathing evens out as he eventually falls asleep in Suguru’s arms.  

“What happened?” Suguru asks, adjusting Satoshi in his arms as Ami collapses into a bean bag chair, completely exhausted. 

“I have no idea. One moment we were talking about his birthday, the next he was crying.”  

"His birthday?” Suguru repeats. 

Ami points to a nearby calendar. On it, one of the dates is circled in bright red market. “Yeah, he’s turning five.” 

“Five?” Suguru repeats. His heart constricts and his lungs feel tight. That ... doesn’t add up. He’d thought Satoshi was younger, had maybe just turned three. He was much smaller than an average five-year-old, although he supposes Satoru did say he was small for his age. If he was turning five now, then ...  

He does the math. Counts down the months, counts down the days. 

Fuck, Satoru’s heat has been right before he left. Suguru had known, then, that he’d wanted to leave, but he’d shown Satoru all the love he’d been able to, poured his heart into those last few days. Knew it would be the last time he’d ever get to touch Satoru. Knotted him over and over again until Satoru was begging him with pleading eyes to stop.  

He can’t believe Satoru would get with someone so soon after that.  

Suguru pauses. He knows Satoru – quite well, all things considered. Satoru would never let another alpha touch him like that, especially while freshly broken up with and vulnerable. 

Wait.  

Wait a fucking minute.  

He thinks about it one more time. 

He studies Satoshi’s face, trying to imagine what kind of alpha had fathered him. Closely examines the shape of his eyes and the downward turn of his lips. The dark hair, the dark eyes, the quiet nature and the way he doesn’t even look like Satoru at all. 

Satoru had said his alpha left. Suguru had been his alpha who left. 

It couldn’t be. Could it? 

No, there’s no way. There’s no way Satoshi is his. It can’t be. If this was his pup, then Suguru would have left Satoru pregnant and alone. Satoru would never have let that happen. He would’ve been blowing up Suguru’s phone, demanding his attention, showing up to the cult -  

Suguru remembers a day, maybe three months after he’d left, when Satoru had sent him almost 300 texts and called him over 50 times. He’d blocked Satoru’s number that same day. 

Fuck. 

Suguru thinks back, trying to think of more clues. The way Satoshi had immediately taken a liking to him. The way he smells of vanilla, but just as much of a calming chamomile tea, just like Suguru and his own mother, now that he thinks of it. 

Satoshi had said he smelt like his grandmother. 

Had Suguru’s own parents known, then? 

Suguru feels numb. God, Satoshi looks and smells just like him – how the fuck was he so oblivious?  

He thinks about how he’d always wanted kids, how badly he’d wanted to be a dad. How he'd thrown that dream away the moment he decided he needed to leave. But now he’s standing here, holding a pup that he thinks might be his – no, definitely is his, and neither of them had a goddamn clue. 

“Satoru asked me to take him for the evening, so I’ll just head out with him.” Suguru says stiffly. Ami, unaware of his inner turmoil, waves goodbye to him. 

Satoshi begins to stir as soon as Suguru buckles him into his car seat. The car seat he’d gotten for his own car because he was tired of having to exclusively take Satoru’s car when they hung out and brought Satoshi with them. 

“Hi, baby. How’re you feeling?” Suguru asks, cleaning some dried tears from his face. His pup’s face. He sees it so clearly now.  

“Sad,” Satoshi replies, low enough that Suguru barely hears it. 

“Sad?” Suguru replies. “And why is that?” 

“I want daddy.” 

“You want daddy?” Suguru replies, and Satoshi nods. “You smell like him.” he says, trying to lean into Suguru’s touch. He says it in such a tiny voice that if Suguru still didn’t know who Satoshi’s dad was, he’d go out and hunt him down himself. 

“He wants to be with you, too.” Suguru says, but it doesn’t feel like enough. He wants to tell him he’s here, he’ll always be here now, but he can’t, not without talking to Satoru, not without confirming everything.  

How does he comfort his child when he wants the one thing Suguru isn’t sure he can give? 

Suguru knows the first thing he needs to do is confront Satoru, but he won’t be able to do that with Satoshi around. He makes the decision to drop Satoshi off with his parents for the night, certain that they’ll be alright with it. When he thinks back to the times they were running “errands” with a strange caginess, it’d always be the times Satoru was busy for the day, and they’d always come back smelling vaguely of vanilla. 

Satoshi seems to perk up as they pull up to the house. “Jii-San’s house.” He says in recognition. It’s the exact type of confirmation Suguru didn’t want. “Jii-San and Obaa-San says daddy loves me.” Satoshi continues.  

“He does.” Suguru says. His heart aches as he helps Satoshi out of his carseat and carries him into the house. 

"Oh, Suguru, you’re home ear ... ly.” Suguru’s mother pauses, holding a spatula in hand and standing in front of the oven, wearing a frilly apron Suguru once got her as a Mother’s Day gift. She looks dumbfounded as she takes in the child in Suguru’s arms. 

His sisters are sitting at the table. They look up from their phones, confused looks as their eyes dart between their mother and Suguru. 

“What’s with the pup?” Mimiko asks while Satoshi tries to squirm out of Suguru’s arms. He lets him down, and Satoshi runs up to Naoko. “Obaa-San.” He whines, stretching his arms for a hug. 

“Obaa-San?” Nanako repeats, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing.  

Naoko ignores her, choosing to address Satoshi. “Hi, Satoshi. I missed you. How was daycare?”  

Satoshi whines, pressing his face into her neck and breathing in her scent. He’s starting to get fussy again, the kitchen beginning to fill with the smell of a stressed pup. “What's wrong, baby?” 

“Want daddy.” Comes a muffled voice.  

“I know, baby, I know.” Naoko coos. “He'll be with you as soon as he can. He’s busy with work right now, but I promise he stills love you.” She’s looking straight at Suguru while she says this. For the first time in his life, Suguru feels disappointment from his mother, her eyes hard.  

“But look!” Naoko gestures to the twins. "Daddy’s sisters are here. Would you like to meet them?” 

“Sisters?”  

"Yes, you have two aunts. How about they take you to Jii-San and you can tell them about all your new friends at daycare, hmm?” 

Satoshi cautiously nods, and girls practically scramble out of their seats to get out of the kitchen. Satoshi whines again, definitely not pleased with the way Mimiko doesn’t seem to know how to hold him, but she carries him on her hip and Suguru hears them scamper upstairs to their parents’ room.  

“Why?” Suguru finally asks when he’s certain they’re alone. He slumps into a chair, head in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me if you knew?” 

“It wasn't our place, Suguru. It was Satoru’s, and it was his choice not to until he felt ready.” Naoko explains.  “You’re the one who left, remember?” 

Belatedly, Suguru remembers the Cinamoroll from that first day, the one that was also on Satoshi’s bed. The picture of him on the mantle as a kid, too – he’s standing in front of his sister’s elementary school when he hadn’t even moved here until high school. How is he so fucking stupid. 

He groans. “That picture of Satoshi on the mantle – I saw it the first night back. I thought it was me. And the friend you were babysitting for was Satoru.” 

“Oh, we must have forgotten to take it down. And yes, we alternated with Satoru’s parents until you came back. Whenever he’s stayed over, we let him sleep in your room, so that’s why we didn’t let you in that first night. We had to move all of his things.” 

"How do I confront Satoru about this?”  

Naoko gapes at him. “He didn’t tell you?” 

“No, I figured it out for myself. Stupidly enough, only when I learned when his birthday is. I thought he might’ve been younger, so him looking and smelling like me was a non-issue. I couldn’t have been his alpha if I wasn’t around for his – conception." Suguru ends awkwardly, not willing to look his mom in the eye. “How long have you known?” 

“Satoru told us when he was a few months along, I think. He wanted us along for moral support and for his pup to know his family. Luckily, he comes from money and could provide for himself.” 

"Right,” Suguru’s feelings conflict with one another. On one hand, he’s betrayed, can’t believe his parents would hide something like this from him. On the other he’s thankful for them, the way they could support Satoru when he couldn’t. The guilt builds inside him. 

“Can you watch him tonight? I want to talk to Satoru, and he shouldn’t be there for that.” 

Naoko nods. “We can even take him the whole weekend, if you’d like.” 

"That would be great, thank you.” 

Suguru goes upstairs to check on Satoshi and finds that his dad has already put him down for a nap. He still has pajamas here, and he looks adorable in a brightly coloured set decorated with various fruits and vegetables. He’s sleeping soundly with a thumb in his mouth. Suguru thinks about the fact that he’ll be five soon, thinks about all the firsts he’s missed. When did he take his first steps, what were his first words? Did Satoru’s pregnancy go okay? Was he all alone during labour?  

Suguru kisses him on the forehead, wishing he could properly say goodbye, that he could promise Satoshi that he’ll be back for him.  

“You know, he’s probably upset because of his birthday.” Suguru’s father says as Suguru shuts the bedroom door. “We always told him that his dad loves him, but was busy, and would be back soon. But he’s a kid, so you know. It’s tough.” 

"What if I never came back?” Suguru whispers. He doesn’t dare look his father in the eyes. 

“But you did.” His father replies. 

- 

When Suguru gets to Satoru’s apartment, Satoru is anxiously pacing around the apartment. “Finally, what took you so long -” he begins to say, pausing when he doesn’t see Satoshi. He frowns, searching around Suguru as if Satoshi is just hiding behind him. “Where’s Satoshi?” 

“His grandparents.” Suguru says, and watches as Satoru’s eyes go wide with a dumbfounded look on his face. "Were you ever going to tell me?”  

“Suguru, I-” 

“ Were you ever going to tell me?” Suguru repeats. Satoru’s shoulders slump as he closes in on himself, beginning to shake, and he sits on the couch. "I - I don’t know, okay?” Satoru says, his voice beginning to break. “I meant to. I wanted to. But how was I supposed to?” 

Suguru joins him on the couch. “You tried to tell me.” Suguru says, much more softly now. 

“You blocked my number.” Satoru replies. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” 

“I would’ve stayed, Satoru.” 

“Then it wouldn’t have mattered.” Satoru repeats. He takes his ever-present sunglasses off and places them on the coffee table, rubbing at his eyes. Suguru sees tears beginning to form. 

“Of course it would.” Suguru says. He wants to reach out to Satoru, pull him close, make him feel less sad.  

"No, it wouldn’t.” Satoru snaps. "Because that means you never cared about me. You left Suguru. If you had come back, then you wouldn’t have been coming back for me, you would’ve been coming back for your kid. But it should’ve been for me. You were supposed to love me. You were supposed to be with me.” Satoru hiccups, fully crying now. Suguru grabs him, pulling him close and tucking Satoru into his chest. 

“I’m sorry.” He speaks, holding Satoru tight. “I’m so sorry, baby.”  

He lets Satoru cry, softly cooing over him, telling him that he’s okay, gently rubbing his back and his arms, anywhere he can get a hand on him. He hasn’t had Satoru in his arms like this in years, and now it’s because he made him cry. Suguru holds Satoru tightly, thinking of the fact that he’d also had to do this with Satoshi only a few hours ago, how he's hurt his family more in the past few hours than the past five years. 

“I never wanted kids.” Satoru whispers. 

“What?” Suguru says, pulling apart to get a better look at him. 

Satoru doesn’t meet his eyes. “I never wanted kids.” He repeats, trying to rub the tears away. “But you did, and I wanted you, so I wanted your kids. Do you know how hard it was to have to face that every day? I love Satoshi and wouldn’t change anything for the world, but I wanted him for you. And you weren’t even there.”  

“I’m here now.” Suguru says. “And I’m here to stay. I promise.”  

Satoru seems to be out of tears, but he doesn’t move from Suguru’s arms. Suguru readjusts them, pulling Satoru into his lap so he can hold Satoru around the waist with one arm, and stroke his hair with the other. Satoru melts into his touch. 

"Let me be a dad to him.” Suguru says into Satoru’s hair. “I want to be a family – with you and Satoshi. I still love you, Satoru. I’ve always loved you.” 

“Are you sure?” Satoru asks, his voice small. 

“God, you’re stupid.” Suguru replies. He grabs Satoru’s chin, forcing him to look up at Suguru. “Yes, Satoru. I’m sure. I love you, and I want to mate you again. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Satoru whispers, and then Suguru’s pressing his lips to Satoru, kissing him breathlessly, putting in all the feelings he can’t put into words. It’s like breathing air again, and Suguru kisses him deeply, slowly, as if they’ll never be able to touch each other again. 

Chapter Text

Eventually, Satoru breaks the kiss.  

“I want another one.” He says breathlessly, eyes glazed over. His lips are red and swollen, and Suguru wants to put his mouth back on him, feels like he can’t get enough.  

“Yeah?” Suguru asks, feeling his cock twitch, and Satoru nods.  

Suguru dives back in immediately, kissing Satoru with pure desire. He hooks his arms around Satoru’s legs, standing up and carrying him bridal style into the bedroom.   

He throws Satoru on the bed, loving how Satoru still submits for him, how he lets Suguru manhandle him as he pleases. They can't get naked fast enough, throwing clothes away in any direction. Suguru crawls on top of him, bracketing his body and going in for another filthy kiss, exploring his warm mouth.  

“Suguruuu,” Satoru whines, and then Suguru’s trailing kisses down Satoru’s neck, searing hot. “I want another one.”  

“As many as you want.” Suguru mumbles into Satoru’s neck. He nips at Satoru’s scent glands, intoxicating, candy sweet vanilla overwhelming his senses. “I’ll give you as many as you want.”  

He kisses Satoru again, treating him as if he’s a fragile, delicate thing. Needs him to know how much Suguru loves him. He drinks in Satoru’s soft gasps and moans, taking it nice and slow until Satoru is completely overwhelmed. He runs his hands all over Satoru’s body, enjoying how the man squirms underneath him.  

“Suguru,” Satoru moans. “Suguru, please.” His pussy is dripping onto the sheets and his cock is leaking. Suguru wants a taste, but he knows that’s not what Satoru needs right now. Instead, positions himself at Satoru’s entrance.  

Suguru takes it slow, buries his cock in that perfect, tight heat, inch by inch. He listens to Satoru’s choked moans, following Satoru’s lead, enjoying every whimper. He wants Satoru to feel good, to know how much Suguru loves him.  

“Suguru,” Satoru cries out, wrapping his legs around Suguru’s waist, trying to pull him closer. Suguru draws in as close as possible, keeping Satoru enveloped in his arms as he builds momentum. He doesn’t tease, giving exactly what Satoru wants.   

“You’re perfect.” He rasps, forehead pressed against Satoru. “My perfect, pretty omega. You make the best babies for me, don’t you?”  

Satoru whines.   

“You did such a good job.” Suguru coos, angling his hips just right to hear Satoru’s stuttered moans. “Such a good boy.”  

“Knot me.” Satoru demands. “Want your pups.”  

“As many as you want,” Suguru says. He lets out his own moan, enjoying how tight Satoru’s silky walls feel on his own cock. This is what he’s been missing. This is what he’s been needing.   

Suguru feels his knot begin to grow. He gets a hand around Satoru’s length, helping him along, matching the rhytm of his hips. Then he’s slamming into Satoru, cumming deep inside him and filling him with his seed. Satoru screams as he orgasms, squeezing around Suguru.  

Suguru kisses him through it. Once the aftershocks seem to die down, Suguru repositions them so they’re lying side by side, careful not to jostle Satoru or hurt him as they remain tied together.  

“I’m not on birth control, by the way.” Satoru says offhandedly in the aterglow. “I wasn’t kidding about wanting another one.  

“Good,” Suguru says, nosing into Satoru’s neck. He takes a deep breath, inhaling his sugary vanilla scent. “Me neither. When’s your next heat? We can keep practicing.”  

Satoru jokingly shoves him. “It’s soon, actually. Next month.”  

"Can I mate you?” Suguru asks, feeling hopeful.  

“Yeah,” Satoru replies. “If you claim me right now.”   

Suguru doesn’t even think about it, doesn’t hesitate as he sinks his teeth into Satoru’s neck and tastes metallic liquid. Satoru keens loudly. Suguru licks the bite, soothing the mark, enjoying the way Satoru begins to squirm again.  

“Fuck, I forgot how much I hate you.” Satoru says, urging Suguru back up to his face to kiss him. They spend the rest of the night attached to each other, remembering each other’s bodies, unable to pull apart. Satoru crawls onto Suguru’s lap, softly riding him, then Suguru puts him on his hands and knees, watches how Satoru arches beautifully for him. Legs spread, whining, being knotted over and over again until he cries.  

“Missed you.” Satoru murmurs into his chest between rounds.  

“Missed my cock, you mean.” Suguru laughs, rubbing circles onto Satoru’s back. “Do you want to claim me back?”  

Satoru doesn’t answer, immediately going for the junction at Suguru’s neck between his jaw and shoulder. His fangs are sharp, cutting into skin as Suguru groans. His pretty, perfect omega.   

“This what we’re doing all weekend?” Suguru asks as Satoru’s hands wander down past his waist. He thrusts his hip up, trying to urge Satoru down lower.  

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” Satoru says, lifting his head up from Suguru’s neck. “How long did your parents say they’ll take care of Satoshi?”   

Suguru smirks. “All weekend.” he says, and Satoru bites his lip.  

-  

“Fuck, you have the most perfect pussy.” Suguru says. He’s underneath the blankets, admiring pretty pink folds. Satoru’s long, long legs are spread wide apart for him. He thumbs down the slit, enjoying how Satoru shivers.   

He loves eating pussy – more specifically, Satoru’s. And now that he’s satisfied Satoru with more than a few dick induced orgasms, he can go ahead and tease him a little bit more.  

“Thanks for the meal.” He says and dives in without preamble. He grips Satoru’s thighs, keeping them spread as he licks a long stripe. Satoru shamelessly moans, rocking his hips against Suguru’s mouth, hands coming down to tug at Suguru’s hair.  

“You’re so needy, baby.” Suguru says before adding fingers. He moves to swallow Satoru’s cock, enjoying the loud keening, mercilessly fingering him at the same time until Satoru’s coming.  

“Fuck, Suguru,” Satoru moans, and then he’s exploding into Suguru’s mouth. Suguru keeps sucking until Satoru is pawing at him, all but begging him to get off, and Suguru kisses the tip of his cock when he pops off.   

-  

Satoru is on his knees on the floor, hands behind his back as Suguru runs fingers through his hair. He lets Satoru set the pace, trying hard not to fuck his face. He’s enjoying the vibrations of Satoru’s moans on his cock. He’s so pretty like this, eyes filled with tears and a dick keeping his pretty mouth busy.   

Satoru’s lips stretched around his length is the prettiest sight, second only to when his cock is buried inside Satoru’s pussy.   

Suguru can’t take it anymore, holding Satoru in place as he shallowly thrusts into his mouth.  

Satoru moans, eyes fluttering close.  

“Oh, you enjoy it when I use you like this?” Suguru asks, going a little deeper, a little faster. Satoru nods as best as he can. “My pretty little slut.” Suguru coos, before coming into his mouth.  

 -  

Satoru bounces on the bed from where Suguru has thrown him. He doesn’t get a chance to move before Suguru is on him, pulling his legs up to Suguru’s shoulders as he fucks him from the edge of the bed, Satoru’s hips sliding off the bed.   

Suguru feels himself deep, pounding into Satoru hard and fast, listening to pretty moans. “Fuck, Suguru – I wanna come – fuck –”  

“Go ahead.” Suguru says, a little meanly. “You can come.” He doesn’t touch Satoru though, angling his hips just right so that Satoru is crying, desperately trying to grind against Suguru and get better friction.  

“Please - Suguru – please please please touch me.”  

“I am touching you.” Suguru mocks, gripping Satoru’s thigh tighter. “You want to come, don’t you? You’re going to do it on my cock. I know you can do it, baby.”  

Satoru is so far gone, eyes rolled to the back of his head, moaning and drooling, cock bobbing uselessly as Suguru fucks into him, using his body for his own pleasure.   

Finally, he takes pity on him, bending down to sink his teeth into his claiming mark. “Go ahead and come for me, baby, and I promise I’ll knot you.”  

Satoru loses it, perfectly overwhelmed, spilling all over himself. Suguru feels hit knot grow, and then he’s slamming in, locking the two of them together again.  

-  

Sunday comes and Suguru spends an hour chain smoking before they pick up Satoshi from his parents.  

“You’re thinking too much.” Satoru says before forcing Suguru into the shower to get the cigarette smell off him, before joining him in the shower, before making them leave later than anticipated. Suguru fucks him until they run out of hot water.  

"Do you want to move in today?” Satoru asks as he puts his shoes on.   

“Yes.” Suguru immediately replies. He wants to be with his pup and his mate, doesn’t want to spend another second away from them again. “Will that be okay with Satoshi?”  

“He wants his dad to come home, and, well, you’re his dad coming home, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Satoru replies a little too casually for Suguru’s liking. He takes the spare key from its hiding place, handing it over to Suguru. “For you, my love.”  

Suguru kisses him on the cheek. God, he’s excited go home.   

On the drive back to Suguru’s parents, Satoru recaps his and Satoshi’s schedule, something they should’ve done between rounds of sex, but didn’t because they were too busy having sex, and Suguru squeezes Satoru’s thigh as he drives. Satoru and Suguru’s parents had alternated between babysitting during the week, but when Suguru had returned, his parents couldn’t take Satoshi in, less Suguru find out about him sooner. Satoru’s own parents had less consistent schedules, so Satoru had decided to enroll him in daycare.   

“Let’s keep him there.” Suguru suggests, thinking of Satoshi’s playmates. “He likes his friends there. I can take him with me to work and back, and he won’t have to stay as late as he usually does waiting for you.”  

“Okay.” Satoru easily agrees.   

They pull up to Suguru’s parents’ house, Suguru feeling more jittery and nervous than he’s ever been in his life. They haven’t quite decided how they’re going to do this. They already know Satoshi likes him, he’s outright said he wishes Suguru was his dad – and when Suguru confesses this, Satoru nearly crashes the car, demanding to know when – but he also already knows Suguru as a man in his life who isn’t his dad, and they’re not sure how they’ll get a four year old to understand.   

“You have horrible timing.” Nanako says as a greeting. “I think Toshi-Chan's still sleeping. Dad just put him down for a nap.”  

“Hi, Gojo-San. It’s nice to see you outside of school.” Mimiko says, completely ignoring her sister. The two of them are at the kitchen table, textbooks and laptops in front of them. It’s not an unusual sight.   

Suguru ignores them, although Satoru makes it a point to say hi before he’s falloing Suguru upstairs to his room. Satoshi is sound asleep, and if it weren’t for the different pajamas, he’d look exactly the same as when Suguru had left him on Friday evening, thumb in his mouth and everything. Suguru’s heart melts, both excited and scared to see more of this.  

“I was wondering where those pajamas were.” Satoru says as Suguru moves to sit next to Satoshi on the bed.  

As if sensing them, Satoshi begins to stir, his eyelids fluttering awake. “Daddy?” he says, and Suguru moves his bangs out of his face. “I’m here, baby.” He says softly, letting out some of his scent, hoping Satoshi understands its meaning. He looks up at Satoru, who takes that as a sign to join them.   

He climbs over Satoshi and slides in next to his other side.  

“Mommy?” Satoshi asks, seemingly more awake now.  

“I’m here, too.” Satoru says, getting himself comfortable on top of the blankets.  

“Daddy’s here?”  

“Yes, daddy’s here.” Satoru confirms. "Daddy is also Sugi-Chan. Do you want to say hi?”  

Satoshi sits up, stares at Suguru with wonder filled eyes, then hugs him. “Hi,” he says, and Suguru hears him begin to softly cry. Suguru wraps his arms around him, silently rubbing his back, scenting him once again.   

“I’m here, Toshi. I’m here.” Suguru says. “I’m sorry I’m late. I love you so so much.”  

They let him cry, and he refuses to let go of Suguru, so Satoru begins to pack up some of Suguru’s things at his request. They don’t need everything, just some of his clothes for the week so he can show up to work presentable enough, and maybe his toothbrush. The rest can come later.   

Their focus is Satoshi, letting him know he’s loved, and that he’ll be okay.  

"See, baby.” Suguru’s mom says from the doorway. “I told you daddy would be back.”  

“Mhmm.” Satoshi hums. His tears have dried up now, and he crawls further into Suguru’s lap. “Daddy’s home.” He says, and Suguru kisses his forehead.   

“Yeah, daddy’s coming home.”  

They end up staying much later than they meant to at Suguru’s parents, letting them know Suguru’s immediately moving out,which Suguru’s parents don’t seem surprised by at all. They have dinner there, and Suguru gets the pleasure of cleaning up after his child for the first time when juice is split onto the floor. Satoru thinks it’ll all work out, and then Kaito points out that Satoru still has to tell his own parents about the news. Satoru pales.  

By the time they make it home, Satoshi is sleeping once again.   

“I’ll put him to bed.” Suguru says, tucking him in goodnight before meeting Satoshi in the living room.  

“There’s one last thing I need you to do for me.” Satoru says, and he pulls Suguru in for a kiss.  

“Oh?”  

“Take a picture with me.” Satoru says, and then he takes a selfie of the two of them, one that he prints out and keeps on the mantle. It sits on the mantle until it’s replaced several years down the line by a picture of the four of them, Satoshi looking thrilled at his new baby sister.  

Suguru has many regrets, but his family will never be one of them.  

Chapter Text

They very quickly settle into their new routine: Satoru, with extreme reluctance, gets out of bed first and begins on breakfast. It’s a far cry from when they were younger and Suguru would have to drag Satoru out of bed kicking and screaming, but apparently Satoru’s matured over the years of having to take care of their child all on his own. The reminder lights a fire inside Suguru, determined to prove what a good alpha and mate he is to his partner and son.

After a couple more minutes of lounging in bed, Suguru will also get up to wake up Satoshi. He dresses and helps brushes his teeth, and the novelty of it never seems to wear off. There’s something so precious about Satoshi picking between his digimon shirt or his other digimon shirt. Sometimes, he'll even match it with his digimon pants. Satoru thinks having his dad around helps, because he’s happy to wear whatever Suguru suggests, even when he'd argue with Satoru. He’s usually a quiet kid, but that doesn’t stop the occasional temper tantrums that toddlers are known to throw, especially when told no they can’t wear a snow suit out in the middle of summer.

Satoru hands Suguru his and Satoshi’s lunches, and together they head down to the garage. They buckle Satoshi into his car seat together, Satoru kisses them both on the cheek, and then they leave in separate cars for the day. Suguru drops Satoshi off at the daycare with a kiss to his forehead and then heads to his office.

His coworkers don’t ask any questions about this new relationship, even though they follow him with inquisitive eyes, burning to know. Ami, feeling brave one day, offhandedly mentions that Satoshi’s always smelt a bit like Suguru. Suguru sputters with excuses, caught off guard before she takes off giggling.

After work, Suguru will let Satoshi continue to play at the daycare until all his friends are picked up. He's come a long way from his antisocial days when he first started.

They get home before Satoru does and start on dinner together. Even though Satoshi can't do much, he likes to stand on his little step stool and pretend to cut up vegetables or wash the dishes. 

Being a parent is everything Suguru hadn’t known he wanted and more. He finally has his little family with Satoru, and he’s so in love it hurts. He’d go through heaven and hell for them.

When Satoshi’s birthday comes around in June, Suguru is the one to doll out the invites to Satoshi’s friends. He hands them to the kids and even speaks to their parents at pickup, reassuring them that they’re also welcome, asking about allergies and accommodations, and gently smiling at them. They’re swept up under his charisma and easily agree to the party. Their kids would love to go. They love Satoshi, they talk about him at home all the time, too.

The party is at Satoshi’s grandparents on a warm, sunny day. Satoru’s parents know how important it is for a parent to celebrate their kid’s first birthday, and while Satoshi is much older, it’s still Suguru’s first birthday. They hold a mini carnival in the spacious backyard of the Gojo estate with a photo booth, cotton candy stands, and snow cones. They even rent out a bounce house that the kids love, and Satoru has more sugar than all of the kids combined.

By the end of the night, Suguru’s heart is full, his oldest son snoozing away in one arm, his mate in the other.

A week later, Satoru’s heat still hasn’t arrived. His heat had been set for almost right after Satoshi’s birthday, and they’d made moderate preparations for it. They’ve taken Satoshi to Suguru’s parents this time, and they’ve stocked the fridge with extra water and pre-packaged food. Satoru’s been doing and redoing his nest with less vigor than he’d usually.

Suguru thinks he smells slightly different – sweeter, maybe, but he’s not sure, chalking it off to living with his alpha now, their scents blurring together. The apartment is clothed in the cloying scent of vanilla chamomile and it makes him sleepy.

He’s out on the balcony smoking with Shoko near the end of the month when Satoru comes blazing in. He slams the glass door open and throws a small, thin object that hits Suguru square on his forehead and lands directly onto his lap.

It’s a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test by the way the big, red plus sign is glaring up at him.

“You overly fertile asshole!” Satoru wails. “I wasn’t even in heat this time. How did you do that?”

“You’re pregnant?” Suguru breathes with a mix of disbelief and joy.

“I can’t believe you deprived me of heat sex again! The first time in five years I was looking forward to it and now I have to wait another year. And we’re going to have a fucking Pisces baby.”

“You’re pregnant.” Suguru repeats, dumbstruck, joyous. He breaks out into a wide smile, grabbing Satoru, pulling him into his arms to spin him. “You’re pregnant!”

Satoru’s pregnant. Satoru is pregnant with his child, with their child. He repeats it to himself again and again, but the surprise and ecstasy don’t dissipate. They’re going to have another kid, and he’s going to be there this time. Satoshi is going to have a sibling.

Fuck, he’s so happy. So, so happy.

Satoru beams at him. “Yeah, I’m pregnant. You get to cater to my every whim this time.”

“Promise.” Suguru kisses him.

“Ugh, gross.” Shoko says, putting out her cigarette.

-

“Do you want to go to Okinawa before you’re further along?” Suguru asks after the first doctor appointment. “A family vacation for just the three of us? I don’t want Satoshi to think he’s being replaced.”

“Yes.” Satoru immediately says. They’ve always been on the same page, and even now Suguru finds they’ve never stopped. “We can stay at my parents' place. I haven’t been back in years.”

They used to go yearly. Summers full of carefree fun, soaking up the sun and ocean waves where half the time Satoru would return redder than a lobster. Satoru had always been insistent on it, looking forward to it every year. Suguru would go wherever Satoru wanted no matter what, even if he didn’t particularly like flying.

"You haven’t taken Satoshi there?” Suguru asks.

“Once.” Satoru says. “I was stressed about work and my parents insisted I go and they’d watch Satoshi, but I didn’t want to leave him so I took him with me. He was still only one and he ended up getting sick. He wouldn’t stop crying, and I didn’t know what to do, so I couldn’t stop crying. And then I got sick, too. It was so stressful and horrible.”

Suguru laces their fingers together.

“Hey,” he says gently. “You won’t have to worry about that. I’ll be there to take care of you.”

-

Satoru’s first ultrasound shows that the baby is doing well, mom doing better. Satoru’s last pregnancy was rough – not because of the pregnancy itself, but the lack of an alpha had caused stress induced illnesses. Satoru makes sure to tell Suguru this and he guiltily buys five bags of candy on their way home to make up for it.

Satoru’s doctor gives him permission to travel and advises he try and relax. How relaxing travel can be with a toddler, Suguru isn’t sure, but he has two younger sisters, and he knows just being around them can’t be easy.

He does everything he can to make things easier for Satoru, from packing to carrying all their belongings. He ensures he takes all kinds of medicine for Satoru to ease any pregnancy symptoms as well.

The flight is short, maybe three hours, enough for a long movie that they don’t end up watching. They sit Satoshi in between them on their first-class flight, but he spends most of the flight in Satoru’s lap by the window, watching the clouds go by with breathtaking awe. It’s the first time he’ll remember being on a plane, and Suguru makes sure to take pictures the entire time.

Suguru would usually nap during the flight, but this time he remains awake, cognizant of the fact that he has a toddler to take care of and a mate to worship. What kind of alpha would he be if he let Satoru all alone to take care of their toddler alone again?

It’s humid as fuck when they get off, sticky in the way that July typically is. Ijichi picks them up from the airport in a sleek, air-conditioned car that relieves them from the discomfort. Satoshi jumps up and down in the backseat, asking questions in rapid succession. Iichi can barely keep up.

By the time they get back to the Gojo estate, Satoshi is exhausted. Suguru puts him down for a nap, and proceeds to ravage Satoru in his bedroom, just like when they were teenagers.

-

They’re walking barefoot along the shore, the tide coming up as the sun bleeds together shades of orange and pink. Satoru’s parents’ place is right on the beach, allowing them to head down whenever they please. Satoru is still lapping at his ice cream whereas Satoshi and Suguru have already finished theirs. Satoshi’s face and hands are still sticky with remnants of his strawberry ice cream, but he smiles wide, giggling with happiness, and both Suguru and Satoru can’t help but melt.

Satoshi is wandering ahead, right where the waves break, pocketing bright, shiny seashells as he comes across them. The waves come crashing, over and over again, and Satoshi giggles they lap as his knees, his toes sinking into the sand.

“Mommy, look!” He calls, pointing at something on the horizon.

Suguru doesn’t get to see it, because a wave comes crashing into him at that moment. It’s taller than Satoshi, enough to push him over, and before Satoshi even recognises what’s happening, Satoru and Suguru are running for him, calling out his name. The wave push him face down into the sand, and he lands on his hands and knees.

“Satoshi!” Satoru yells, hauling him into his arms. He checks Satoshi for injuries, taking note of the beginning of tears in his eyes, the scent of a stressed toddler seeping into the air.

Satoshi shakes his head, trying to squirm out of Satoru’s arms. “Daddy!”

Suguru plucks him out of Satoru’s arms.

“You’re okay, baby.” He says, nuzzling into Satoshi’s head.

Satoshi hiccups, trying to hold back his tears. He’s barely scraped up, just startled, so Suguru runs a calming hand down his back and lets out soothing pheromones. He hadn’t swallowed any of the ocean water, and is good to go after a few minutes of his parents fussing over him. He bounces back quick, walking into the water with Suguru’s hand in his, and waits for another, smaller wave to hit.

He giggles. Satoru snaps a picture.

-

“Stop spoiling him! Do you know how hard it was to say no? You have to say no, Suguru.”

“I’ve never been able to say no to you.”

“Yeah, but that’s - I’m pregnant! You’re not allowed to say no to me. He’s a kid.”

“Yeah, my kid.”

They speak in hushed whispers, careful not to let Satoshi overhear. Suguru cheekily grins as Satoru fumes, glaring at him with daggers in his eyes.

Satoshi is sitting across from them at the table, absently chewing on some mini doughnuts while playing on his iPad. They allow him an hour a day, and he sits quietly while they argue. Unable to say no to wide, innocent and unblinking eyes, looking at him with so much love and adoration, Suguru had gone ahead and bought him several souvenirs from each gift shop they’d gone to, followed by an ice cream cone, then a slice of cake they saw in the window of a bakery, then cotton candy and a slushie, and now, mini doughnuts.

Somehow, he’d been able to pack all that away in his tiny body. He certainly is Satoru’s pup, Suguru thinks.

“He’s going to be so spoiled!”

“Like mother like son, then.” Suguru jokes. Satoru continues to glare at him. “We’re on vacation, Satoru. It’s okay to be a little spoiled. As long as it’s not an everyday thing.”

“God, you’re such a sap.”

Suguru doesn’t stop spoiling him, though. They walk into the mall for some relief from the heat, and while Satoru’s distracted, Satoshi points out one of the stories carrying Sanrio apparel. There’s a huge collection from bags to sweatshirts and pajamas. Suguru can’t help but purchase a pair of cinnamoroll pajamas for Satoshi, light blue with Cinnamoroll decorating the front and back. The fabric is soft against Suguru’s hand and comes with matching slippers and a nightcap.

God, Satoru is going to kill him.

By the time they get home for the day, they’re sun kissed and exhausted. The stars are out and the moon shines bright. As they get ready for bed, Satoshi excitedly asks to put his new pajamas on.

Satoru quirks an eyebrow at him. "New pajamas?”

Suguru shrugs.

“He wanted a new pair.” He says, pulling them out of the bag. They still have the tags on them, and Satoru’s eyes go wide at the price.

“Suguru, I cannot believe you -”

“Got you some matching ones, too.” Suguru interrupts with a shameless grin, pulling out the same ones in a much larger size.

Satoru shuts up immediately.

“Come feel how soft they are.” Suguru says, and Satoru grumbles. They’re made of a soft cotton fabric that Satoru loves, and his omega chirps happily before he remembers he’s supposed to be mad. He snatches the pajamas out of Suguru’s hands anyway, muttering to himself about something Suguru doesn’t quite catch, then ushers Satoshi into his room to change.

They look adorable, and Suguru suggests they watch a movie to round out the day. Curled up on the couch, Satoru holds Satoshi to his chest. They end up falling asleep during the movie, lightly snoring before the credits even start to roll. Suguru takes endless pictures of them in their matching pajamas that he later prints out and keeps in his office.

-

They tell their families over dinner. Satoru isn’t showing yet, but they’ve just reached the second trimester, and halfway through dinner, Suguru offhandedly mentions they got Satoshi a new shirt. Satoru urges him to take his sweater off to show both pairs of grandparents.

His shirt, loose on his small frame, says “Best Big Brother.” in giant, blocky letters.

There’s a mix of screaming and crying in between choked “Congratulations!” and tight hugs.

Nanako, on the other hand, frowns, because “Ew, disgusting. I know how children are made; I don’t need to know that about you.”

Questions come in rapid succession: How far along are you? Do you know if it’s a girl or a boy? Are you going to move into a bigger place?

Suguru and Satoru turn to each other. They hadn’t thought about it. They've agreed they’re only going to have the second because even though they’d like more, their kids will have a five-year age gap. They’ll be too far apart in age to be friends growing up and want to ensure each kid feels loved and cared for. They certainly won’t be friends until they’re adults.

Their place is big enough for them and two kids, but maybe.

(They make the move several years after Sumiko is born to a bigger house in the area where Suguru picks up gardening as a hobby.)

-

“Sayori if it’s a girl, Saboru if it’s a boy.”

“You picked the first one. No.”

“You weren’t even there to pick the first one! I get to name them.”

“They already have your last name, no.”

“Okay well fuck you too, then. What do you want to name them?”

“Sumiko for a girl and Satoru Junior for a boy.”

“I know you’re fucking with me. I’ll agree on Suguru Junior, though.”

“You called my dick that, once. No.”

“Oh, come on -”

-

Satoru goes into labour in the middle of the night. Luckily for them, it’s right when his due date is. They’ve had their overnight bag packed for weeks, and throw it into the car with a sleepy Satoshi.

Suguru rushes him to the hospital and meets Satoru’s parents there, leaving Satoshi with them as Satoru is brought into the delivery room. According to the articles Suguru has read, labour gets easier and quicker the more times you get pregnant, so Suguru thinks this will go quicker than Satoru’s first twelve-hour labour.

It’s only a few hours of Satoru squeezing his hand until it breaks, him petting Satoru’s sweaty head, reassuring him that he’s doing a great job, until dawn breaks and their beautiful baby girl comes into the world at first light.

Sumiko, they agree, because that’s just what she is.

Suguru loves her already.

-

Satoshi takes his role as a big brother as seriously as any five-year-old takes anything. He sneaks candy into her crib when his parents aren’t looking, certain that she should also be allowed such delicacies, and then demands to help read her a bed time story. He doesn’t like when she cries, but he does offer to help feed her, even when his tiny hands lack the coordination to do so. He watches her as she crawls around, and makes sure to tell her all about his first day at school and how he’ll be sure to help her with her homework when she’s also old enough to go to school.

His name is her first word. Satoru cries.

-

Satoru cries even harder when Sumiko takes her first steps towards Suguru’s open arms.

But not as much as Suguru cries.

-

Haibara gets pregnant the same year Sumiko is born, and the following year she has a new best friend in Kaori Nanami, named after Yuji’s mother. Suguru doesn’t question their name choice, but the smile on his face doesn’t leave as he watches both Nanami and Yuji coo over her in his Nanami's arms.

Haibara is exhausted, naturally, and Suguru does what he can to help. Most of this help involves stopping Satoru from arguing with his students. Yuji is basically Nanami’s adoptive son, and with him comes Megumi and Nobara, all of whom dearly miss him while he’s been on maternity leave, although they’d never admit to it. Megumi even has a strangely fatherly-son relationship with Satoru that Suguru strongly encourages, especially after Satoru rants about Toji Fushiguro after one particularly heated parent-teacher conference.

They've always been close friends, but their friendship tightens as their kids grow up together, and when Haibara has their second kid years later, Satoru and Suguru are there to help. Satoshi is even old enough to help briefly babysit the younger two, and even when they promise him he doesn't have to help, he gladly does, seeing Haibara and Nanami as his own second set of parents.

-

Suguru knows that siblings fight, and while he’s never fought with the girls due to their age gap, he’s seen it happen between Mimi and Nana, seen it happen between friends and classmates.

Satoru, on the other hand, is an only child, and doesn’t seem to comprehend the sheer, blinding rage that exists between siblings. He’d been isolated growing up and can’t fathom the homicidal fury that encompasses their pups when their sibling breathes wrong, even ten years later.

“Suguru, stop them!” Satoru cries, clinging to his arm. Suguru merely shrugs and side steps their pups who are rolling around on the floor, wrestling and screaming with each other. Sumiko has just reached double digits, is much smaller than her brother, but much scrappier. Suguru bets she’d picked up some moves from her aunts as she claws her nails into her brother.

"You ate all my dunkaroos!” Satoshi is screaming, trying to push Sumiko off him. “And then you had the nerve to leave the empty box on the shelf”

“You’re fifteen! Why’re you eating dunkaroos? Get an omega, idiot.”

“How am I supposed to get an omega when you keep messaging every single omega I know and telling them to date me? They think I’m a loser!”

“You are a loser! That’s why I’m trying to help!”

“I’m a loser? You’re the one who threw up after two minutes of running.”

“Up a hill! You started it.”

“You’re the one who started racing me!”

“No, I was just walking faster than you! You’re the one who started running!”

They’ve fought over the remote. They’ve fought because one of the paintings on the wall was too crooked. They’ve even fought over who turned the kitchen light off last yesterday night.

Suguru chuckles. They’ll be fine.

-

Their big fight comes after they let Sumiko go to Okinawa with her grandparents for spring break, something that they hadn’t let Satoshi do at that age, although he’s been allowed since he was in high school. He’s more than mad at the decision.

“Fuck, I get that I'm not even your kid but you could at least be less obvious at how much you like Sumi more than me.” Satoshi shouts, storming off into the privacy of his room. The door slams shut, echoing through the house. Suguru meets Satoru’s concerned, worried eyes, and sighs.

It’s not that they favour Sumiko more, rather that they’ve learned to ease up on their rules. Satoshi was their first pup, after all, and they hadn’t liked the idea of him going off on his own, even though they knew Satoru’s parents were more than capable of watching him.

“I’ll go after him.” He says, standing from the couch. He knocks on the door and lets himself in, not even bothering to wait for a response. Satoshi is flopped halfway on his bed staring at the ceiling, legs hanging off the edge.

Suguru sits next to him.

“Hey, kiddo. What’s going on?” He urges gently.

“What isn’t going on?” Satoshi bites. “I know I’m not your kid but -”

"- What are you talking about?” Suguru interrupts. “You are my pup.”

“Not biologically I’m not.” Satoshi sits up and shuffles to put more room in between them. “Just because I’m not biologically -”

“Satoshi, you are biologically my child.” Suguru cuts off with a stern tone. “We share DNA. Your mother and I made you together. You share my scent. What are you talking about?”

Satoshi, sixteen years old and full of teenage petulance and hormones, sniffs the air. To everyone’s surprise, he’d presented as an alpha and the chamomile scent clings to him, the sweetness of vanilla fading with each passing day.

He frowns. Suguru isn’t sure what he expected – they both smell like chamomile and they’re both sitting in his room, blanketed in the scent. "You and mom didn’t get together until I was like, five, though.”

Suguru sighs. “Yes, but we were together before then. Mom got pregnant and then we broke up. You’re mine, Satoshi. We’ve told you this. Did you really think I wasn’t your dad?”

“Well, no. Not until a few weeks ago and we were looking at some baby photos.” Satoshi confesses, shyly twiddling his thumbs together. “You’re in all the ones with Sumiko and not with me, so I just thought ... I don’t know. Maybe you were lying to me? Because if you were my dad, even if you and mom weren’t together, why wouldn’t you have been in baby photos? I know you love me and you’d never abandon me like that.”

“Satoshi, you look just like me. You’ve seen pictures of me at your age that you thought were of you. How did you -” Suguru cuts himself off and sighs again. “Mom just didn’t tell me he was pregnant, so I didn’t know about you until we reconnected.”

“Why didn’t he tell you he was pregnant?”

“He tried.”

“But?”

God, this conversation is not going the way he wants it to. Satoru is going to murder him and bury him in the backyard. “Promise you don’t tell mom or your sister about this.”

“I promise.”

“I joined a cult.”

“What.” Satoshi deadpans. Suguru doesn’t meet his eyes.

“I joined a cult and cut off contact with everyone. When mom got pregnant, I ignored all his calls and blocked his number. No one was able to reach me. I would’ve come back if I had known but there was no way for that to happen. I only found out about you after leaving the cult, sometime before your fifth birthday.”

“Oh.”

“I promise you it’s one of my biggest regrets. I love you so much, Satoshi.”

“I love you too, dad.”

-

Satoshi corners him on a school night. “So, you know how mom won’t let me throw a party?”

Almost eighteen and just as popular and charming as Suguru had been at his age, Satoshi lazily grins at him.

“No.” Suguru isn’t even looking at him, flipping through his book instead. They’ve had this conversation before. He knows exactly what’s coming, and he doesn’t bother to entertain it.

Satoshi’s been wanting to throw a party at their house for years, his eagerness now dialed up by a desire to use their freshly built gazebo with a built-in hot tub. It overlooks the pool, well maintained over the years of living there.

Satoshi, on the other hand, seems to have other ideas.

“Okay, but what if I tell mom you told me about the cult?”

Suguru narrows his eyes. Satoshi’s hair is dark and silky, just reaching his shoulders, and his eyes are the same colour as Suguru’s, but he is Satoru through and through.

"Come on, it’s just one party! Please, dad?”

“Mom wouldn’t even make me sleep on the couch if I said yes. He’ll make me sleep in the backyard like a dog.” Suguru says, closing his book.

“Just one night as a graduation thing! We’ll clean up and everything. Sumi even promised she’ll stay over at a friend’s house if you get mom out.”

“Sumiko is twelve. I’m not sure how I feel about the two of you conspiring about this. Please don’t let her around a high school party.”

“I just said she’ll be out of the house, didn’t I?” Satoshi argues. “Anyway, think about all the times you’ve been out of the house and I haven’t thrown a party. You know, because I’m great.”

Suguru sighs. “Fine.”

“Yes! Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” Suguru says. “We’re going to have to figure out how to tell ... mom ... about it. Hi, beautiful, how are you?”

In hindsight, they shouldn’t have been having this conversation in the living room where anyone could walk in, but Satoru stands at the end of the hallway, glaring at them so hard Suguru could evaporate on the spot. He can sense the fear from Satoshi and protectively puts an arm around him.

Angry mothers are scary mothers.

“I can’t believe you told him about the cult.” Satoru huffs accusingly.

He didn’t have much of a choice, and he tells Satoru this, which seems to calm him down. Unfortunately, they’re all still in the living room, and this time Sumiko walks in, looking at her dad with bewilderment.

“You joined a cult?” She deadpans, unbelieving.

Suguru groans.

“Wait, we should ask Aunt Nanako and Mimiko about this.” Satoshi suggests.

Suguru groans even more.

-

They don’t tell you how hard it is to be a parent and watch your child grow up, what it’s like for time to fly and for your pup to start making their own decisions. Suguru wants to hold his kids down and protect them from the world. He’s raised them to the best of his ability, knows they can hold on their own, but that’s what his parents did, and he still (unknowingly) left his pregnant mate for a cult.

Granted, he’d rapidly become the leader of said cult, but still.

There’s so much for them to learn, so much to them to go through. Satoshi still hasn’t gone through his first heartbreak. He’s only just learned to drive a car. He’ll be moving out soon and he’s never held a job before.

He’ll be soon starting at the University of Tokyo; he's loved by friends and family alike. He’s the goddamn valedictorian, ready to take on the world by storm. He’s everything Satoru and Suguru could have ever wanted from their child, and they have another one that’s just as strong willed.

And as he watches Satoshi give his graduation speech, Sumiko sitting in between him and Satoru, loudly clapping and cheering for her brother, Suguru knows he’s down something good. Something that’s his and Satoru’s. Something that can never be taken away from him.