Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Pétronille was thrilled to have her sibling back, of course she was! She was glad they were safe and seemed happy, glad that they were here, glad that they got brought in by what must’ve been the most powerful, experienced fighters in Vaugarde, so they were definitely safe from Sadnesses…

She was less than “glad” that it took several crabbing months. More than that, why did they bring them in the first place?! Bonnie’s a kid! They shouldn’t have ever been NEAR the House of Dormont, much less climbing it to face the king! Thank Change they at least had the decency to send a few letters, but couldn’t they have just hopped a ride with the mail? Or literally anyone? People were traveling en masse throughout Vaugarde, even if one jerk was willing to say no to the saviors, she doubts literally everyone would. No, the only reason it’d take this long was if they were dragging their feet on purpose…

Why they’d do that, she wasn’t sure yet… well, okay. Bonnie said it was ‘cause they were “super duper best friends,” but a preteen being that close to a bunch of random adults seemed questionable at best. Relatedly, she still wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that Bonnie invited all of them to stay in her house—it was small enough as was—but she couldn’t really say no when some of them started volunteering to sleep on the crabbing floor.

So yes. She had some mixed feelings about what was going on right now, about these people in general, though soon enough she had most of them figured out.

Mirabelle was easy, everyone was already talking about her. Blessed by the Change God and all that. She was… not quite what Nille expected, admittedly. Shorter, for one, but also softer spoken. Isabeau she still had a bit of an eye on, but he seemed too dumb to be faking his friendliness. Odile seemed abrasive, snarky, somehow always alternating between condescending and cold, but the rest of the group seemed to laugh it off like it was nothing. So she wasn’t pleasant, but being a grumpy old woman made sense…

So that left one: Siffrin. She had no idea what his deal was, and asking questions rarely led to answers. Oh sure, she’d tried going around too. Asking Bonnie, asking the others, and yeah, they had some funny stories, but didn’t seem to have answers either! And for whatever reason, they didn’t seem to give a crab! They traveled all this way to face the king with him, and at no point did they even ask where the crab he came from? Yeah, no. There was something wrong with this.

So with everyone else in the group doing their own things, Bonnie decided to take Siffrin to the crabbing outskirts to pick beach plums, Nille naturally decided she was going with them.

A cool ocean breeze helped cut through the summer heat, though it still left sweat slicking her back. It was late afternoon, sun near-blinding and overly warm even as it set, though thankfully she (like most sane people) had a hat and the good sense to wear weather appropriate clothes (seriously how was Siffrin not boiling?!). Bonnie led the way through the sand dunes, eyes narrowed as they searched for the elusive beach plums. The bushes didn’t move, of course, but it was hard to find consistent landmarks on sand. They were well ahead of Nille and Siffrin, which gave her the perfect chance.

“So. Siffrin, where’d you say you were from again?” she asked.

It seemed like an easy enough question, right?

“Hmm? Oh, here, there, nowhere. I’m a traveler!”

And yet he refused to answer it.

“Yeah, but, you weren’t, like, popped into being traveling. You had to have come from somewhere.”

“Probably, yeah!” He shrugged, smiling fake-helplessly, “But it was too long ago though, I don’t really remember.”

“Bull crab.”

He held his hands up defensively, “Sorry! Sorry. I- um- can- can I help you with anything?”

Bonnie stopped, starting to look over, but neither noticed. No, Nille was too busy staring into Siffrin..

“You can ‘help me’ by telling me where you came from.”

Siffrin was backing up, mouth opening and closing soundlessly as his fingers twitched.

“Nille! Stop being a crab!” Bonnie said.

“Stay out of this Bonnie!” Petronille said back. She stared at Siffrin, eyes narrowed. It was just a simple question, literally one of the most mundane out there, right up there with chatting about the weather. And he wouldn’t answer it.

“Why are you being so weird about this? Unless you did something horrible there. Something we’d all have heard of.”

“I- no! I… Um-“ his eyes darted around, voice giving out for a moment. “Where are you from?”

“None of your business. I live here now, and this ain’t about me. I’m not the one coming to your home and messing with your family.”

”… help everyone?” His eye was overly wide, expression not matching the cheer of his voice as he stared right at Bonnie and said, “Clocktower, sleepover?”

Huh?

“Nille, cut it out! You’re making him script!” Bonnie said.

Making him what?

“I’m just asking him a simple question! It’s not my fault he won’t answer.”

“What should I- what should I do next?” Siffrin mumbled.

“Yeah, well, you’re being a crab about it! It’s just Frin! He’s my friend!” They tried to move towards him, so she grabbed them, holding tight.

Her heart ached as they tried to escape, but she held firm. Siffrin was acting strange, and Bonnie was a kid. The other adults didn’t seem to care, or at least didn’t see any potential danger. It didn’t surprise her. No one cared how kids were treated if the one doing it was labeled a “guardian.” If she was wrong, she’d swallow her words and apologize later, but every instinct was screaming that something was wrong.

“Bonnie, I know you care about them, but are they really your friend? Do you even know where they’re from?”

“OF COURSE I DO! They’re from…. From…” their little eyebrows scrunched together as they looked over to the stunned still stranger. “Frin… where are you from? I guess it, um, never came up? It’s just a weird grown up secret, right? It doesn’t mean anything, does it? Because you’re still Frin!”

“ Bury me somewhere . Can we talk about something else?”

“No, no we can’t. Not until you tell me why you won’t just SAY IT!”

“.                 !”

Some     thing           crACKS-

It burns it hurts it hurts IT HURTS! Her head. HER HEAD! A deep ache lances across, behind her eyes, tearing her brain. Burning cracking aching there is a shade she does not know that does not exist and it covers her vision in spots, leaks from his mouth, and he      just

Stares.

“Frin!” Bonnie wrenches free from her arms.

She doubles over, trying to grit her teeth through the pain but-

“.                  !”

A scream tears from her throat, from his, from theirs. They’re all screaming. Somewhere in the distance something cracks in the sky, something flickers into view, briefly, cloaked in an impossible shade of something broken breaking cracking tearing destroying burning breaking-

Siffrin, doubled over, leaking the shade from his mouth, coughing it onto the sand, takes a breath in, opens his mouth, and…

“NO!”

Bonnie tackles him, taking a vial from some pocket and shoving it in his mouth. “I KNOW YOU DON’T LIKE SURPRISE TOUCH BUT I GOTTA! YOU GOTTA DRINK IT SIFFRIN! YOU’RE- you’re…”

Siffrin wretches onto the sand, whatever fluid Bonnie forced into their mouth diluting the awful shade. He opened his mouth again and-

“NO! STOP IT! STOP TRYING TO SAY IT! STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING!” Bonnie screamed. Tears ran down their face as they got another little vial out. “It’s sweet potion! You like sweet potion! EVERYONE likes sweet potion! It-It’s not Belle’s healing, but…”

“GET AWAY FROM HIM BONNIE!” Nille shouted. Her heart beat a mile a minute, pain clouding out thought. The shade painted a haze over the edges of her vision. An attack. It had to be an attack, right? Because it hurt! It hurt it hurt it hurt it HURT! Tears further blurred her view, but she wasn’t so blind she couldn’t tell the difference between Siffrin’s darklessness and Bonnie’s deep tan.

“BE MORE CAREFUL BONNIE!” Siffrin yelled out before devolving into another fit of coughing.

Bonnie tried to reach out…

And Siffrin pushed them into Pétronille. She grabbed on in sheer instinct, pulling them away.

“NILLE! LET ME GO!” They shouted. “LET ME GO! FRIN NEEDS HELP!”

“LIKE CRAB HE DOES! HE’S ATTACKING US!”

“What should I- hrk!- remember?” Siffrin said. He shuffled after them, one hand weakly outstretched. The sun was at his back, painting him in shadow, darkness stretching out towards them.

“FRIN ISN’T ATTACKING HE’S JUST SICK!”

“Some-“ he cut off in coughing. “Some chips…. Please?” Dark liquid stained the front of his clothes, his hands, his mouth.

What. What did that mean? Something was wrong. She knew it. Something is wrong with him! Something is wrong with him and it made him hurt them! And now he wanted Bonnie-

“I ran… away… from home… once.”

The way he was stumbling made bile crawl up her throat. He seemed almost drunk-

“Something’s broken… failing…” he wheezed, wiping the dark stain onto his sleeve, “ rotting!”

Nille ran away, ignoring Bonnie’s screams all the way home, locking the doors behind her. They screamed, cried, yelled, struggled, it all blurred together. She counted the fact that they were still around to be mad a victory.

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts, but it’s because I love you. One day you’ll understand,” she said, holding them tight and close.

Chapter Text

Mirabelle had been smiling as she walked through the doors of Bambouche’s House of Change, having just cleaned up after another biweekly surfing lesson and intent on not missing dinner this time. This was still a little later than she intended to be out, but maybe that worked out for the best.

It made it easier for the Defenders to find her.

There was a faint ringing in her ears that only grew as they spoke about hearing screams, finding Siffrin alone, speaking nonsense, covered in blood, and wielding a dagger. Her heart raced, she grabbed their hand, yelling, running. Things passed

Quickly.

She panted for breath, letting go of the defender’s hand as she desperately looked around, sand all around them. It was near dark, last of the sunlight glinting off the waves. The ever-present smell of salt and fish was cut through by a lingering metallic scent. Someone else came up, covered in sweat and blood and shaking with adrenaline.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” the defender who’d brought her asked the other.

“I’m still standing.” They held tight to a gash in their upper shoulder. “Mirabelle, right? One of the saviors… heh. So it is you guys. Well, that could’ve been a lot worse.”

Mirabelle took a breath in and held her hands out, crafting her Super Sparkle Heal. The wound closed up, but that was still a lot of blood lost, and the implication made it feel like she’d swallowed rocks. “Did- Did Siffrin do that?”

They nodded. “Partly my fault. I snuck up on them.”

The other said, “He was standing in the ocean, looked like he might fall over. She grabbed their shoulder, and he…” they took an audible breath in, reaching over to gingerly touch the still-bloody spot.

Yes, that would do it. “Siffrin has to be warned before being touched, and usually only likes it from us. If he’s already out of it…” Her heart pumped hard enough to feel from ear to toe, but she steadied herself the best she could. Isabeau had told her early on to focus on how her feet felt on solid ground (though it wasn’t particularly solid now, the novelty of sand still helped), and Siffrin taught her…

Deep breaths. In… out… calm down, at least enough to think. Her heart still raced, but she did her best to welcome it like Odile would—it was just her body trying to protect her, right? Not necessarily a bad thing, so long as she channeled it well and didn’t let it overwhelm her.

“Where is he?” She asked.

The bloodied defender pointed. “Hasn’t tried anything again, but I haven’t either. Been just making sure people stayed away, sent this guy and some others after all of you. You just got here first.”

Mirabelle nodded. “Good, thank you. And I’m sorry, he’s never gotten violent before, and he’s not supposed to be alone…” It was more of a silent agreement than anything official, but they always made sure that someone was paired with Siffrin. Who was it today…? “Bonnie!” She turned to the two defenders. “I’m sorry to ask this after- um- well all this trouble, but could I ask you to send someone to check on Nille and Bonnie? Erm, Boniface, officially. They live…” she gave their address. “But not you. You’re hurt enough. My Super Sparkle Heal is enough to stop the bleeding and give a boost, but it won’t fix everything or replace all the- um- blood. Take it easy, okay?”

She nodded.

Alright, good. With that settled, she started towards Siffrin. He was facing away from her, dagger in one shaking hand as he stood knee-deep in the ocean. Every wave threatened to drag him with it, body wavering dangerously as the water continued to rise with the incoming tide. He muttered to himself in a low, raspy voice.

Mirabelle got as close as she dared, just barely out of reach. “Siffrin…”

“Oh Siffrin…” he said, voice pitching higher, but still rasping, croaking, like he hadn’t had water in days. There was a cruel, sickly-sweet edge to it as he followed it up, “I can’t wait to never see you again.”

He struck at his own shadow in the water with a fury she hadn’t seen since that day, if even then. His breath wheezed as he continued his onslaught, snatches of words that weren’t his ripping out in the interim.

“Siffrin, please, it’s me, Mirabelle!” She reached out, but stopped short as she caught sight of one wide, unfocused eye. “Do you know where you are?” Deep breaths, deep breaths, panicking won’t help. You can’t lose it, not right now, he needs you-

Siffrin plunged the dagger down into his reflection, body wavering as he coughed up fresh blood—even now his cloak was still stained, still saturated, it was all over his front, on his hands, his sleeves—he gasped for breath just before the waves crashed in, pulling him under.

“SIFFRIN!” She screamed, diving into the sea. She could still see him! He was there, just under the surface, just a few feet out! If she hurried, she could get him! The waves pushed against her even as they tried to steal him, cold, salty water trying to force them apart, but the King’s tears didn’t stop her, this wouldn’t either. She got closer, closer, the little spot of darkless under the waves getting closer… closer… just inches away…

Mirabelle reached out.

Her fingers met fabric. She pulled, pulled harder than she ever had, harder than the ocean, harder than death , and held him tight in her arms. The hacking noises he made would etch into her nightmares as he wretched up a mix of seawater and blood right onto her shoulder. His form shook against hers as she shifted him onto her back so she could swim, just like someone did for her on one of her early surfing lessons when she was scared to drown. His fingers dug in tight enough to bruise.

Good.

She turned back towards shore, but the sea tossed her this way and that. He was a weight on her back, pushing her down as she struggled to keep above water. What had started as the occasional splash of seawater in her mouth quickly turned to her desperately trying to spot it out with every other breath. Wave after wave pushed against them, and her already tired limbs were starting to reach their limit…

Sploosh!

“GRAB ON!!!”

She stared in a daze as something hit the water mere inches from her. A ring, of some sort, with a pattern of darkless and lightless. It floated-

IT FLOATED!

She grasped onto it with the determination of a dying woman, taking lungfuls of sweet, dry air as someone pulled them back to shore. Soon there was sand under her feet again. Her legs shook as she stumbled upright, still half-dragging a near-limp Siffrin with one of his arms looped around her neck. There, standing with three other defenders, was Isabeau.

“MIRA! SIF!” He dropped the rope he’d been using to help pull them in and rushed over, uncaring that his pants were getting soaked as he helped them make the last few steps to dry land.

“Isabeau,” Mira croaked before a small bout of her own coughing. “Thank- hah- you.”

“Don’t thank me. They’re the one who got the life preserver, I just threw it,” Isabeau said, pointing to the defender who’d brought her. He looked down at Sif, kneeling. “Hey Sif, Siffrin, Siffarooni? Can you hear me?”

It apparently got through to something in his brain. He reached out with his free hand, grabbing Isabeau as hard as his shaking limbs could manage, “Carry my- hnnnngh - ashes…” he wretched, more seawater hitting the sand. His eye rolled up, hand falling as his body teetered dangerously. “with… you.”

Isabeau caught them as Siffrin fell, nearly dragging Mira with him. Mira decoupled herself, holding her hands out to use healing craft on him, but… “It should stop any remaining bleeding, but won’t fix everything. Doctor. Now !”

Isabeau nodded, scooping Siffrin up into his arms to carry him and looking to the defenders, “Sorry to ask more of you tonight, but lead the way?”

The defender who’d brought Isabeau nodded and started walking. They headed to the infirmary, bumping into Odile on the way there. For once, she had no questions, just silently joining their cavalcade. The group sat in the other room while a professional looked at Siffrin… They probably should’ve talked about what happened, but the only words shared were to get some dry clothes.

Bonnie and Nille didn’t show up.

Chapter Text

Something’s broken, failing, rotting!

Blood ran down from Frin’s mouth and nose, remaining eye wide but only half-seeing. His hand reached out for Bonnie as he wavered on the sand, and Bonnie tried desperately to reach back.

But Nille was bigger, stronger. Her arms pinned theirs to their side as they thrashed, screaming. “LET ME GO NILLE! QUIT IT! QUIT BEING A CRAB!”

She didn’t say anything back, she just kept running. Frin’s form disappeared further and further into the horizon, still standing there with a hand reaching out to no one, now.

“STOP IT! HE NEEDS ME!” Bonnie kicked her in the shins. Nille stumbled, grip loosening. Now! Bonnie writhed, pushing against her, digging feet into the sand…

It…

Wasn’t enough. Her grip retightened, stronger. Higher. Where they couldn’t get her shins as easily. It was so tight it hurt.

“FRIN! FRIIIIIIIN! PLEASE WE’RE OVER HERE! FRIN!”

Siffrin finally turned towards them and… and….

They were too far. Bonnie couldn’t make out the expression on his face. It was for the best, actually, that they couldn’t see the sheer, frozen horror. 

Bonnie screamed wordlessly in frustration, glaring up at their big sister. They loved her, they did, but she wasn’t listening! And Frin needed them! Frin was scripting and saying bad things and now looked really scary and was hurt and losing blood and they couldn’t let him get hurt for them again.

Copper filled their mouth as Bonnie bit Nille’s arm. She shrieked, faltered. A hand pried at their face, at their mouth, forcing it open. Their whole face felt hot and wet as blood, tears, and snot coated it.

Nille

Kept

Running.

…

They couldn’t see Frin anymore.

Things passed in a blur. Lock after lock clicked, one hand always around them, holding them back. They were at home. They were at home? Yes. Home. It wasn’t much, but that was their bed in the corner, a box as a nightstand, old toys  scattered on the floor, and an open window too high for them to reach. Nille sunk down against their door.

She was squeezing them, her breath ragged between sobs. They could feel the tears hitting their head, feel the trickles of blood from the bite—they hurt her, they hurt family , they aren’t supposed to hurt family —slowly staining their tank top. Every breath she took jostled them with how tight she held—her fingertips were going to bruise.

She was… hurt. And crying. And that was their fault. But hers too! Frin was hurt and crying but WORSE and she wouldn’t let them help! They needed to get to Frin! But she seemed sad too, and-

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts, but it’s because I love you. One day you’ll understand,” she said.

That sounded… familiar.

“No… NO!” Bonnie shouted. She was holding tight, too tight, too close. They couldn’t kick, couldn’t hit, couldn’t really bite. And they didn’t want to, they desperately didn’t want to hurt her! Family doesn’t hurt each other!!!

But Frin…

What if Frin died?

Bonnie pulled their head back and slammed it into hers. Their skull rang and teeth buzzed, but it didn’t hurt half as bad as whatever Frin was trying to say!

Nille yelped, hands raising to touch her head. Finally!

Bonnie pushed away, pushed her into the door, and bolted back, but where? There was nowhere to go. If they had time, they could push their bed to the window and jump, but Nille was right there! The door was locked too (from the inside, but still), but that didn’t mean much. The latch hadn’t worked right in years. If they could hit it hard enough, they could run! They could run! They could get back to Frin!

But Nille was in the way.

She swore through her teeth as she pushed herself to standing. “Bonnie, Bonnie please.” She  wiped her tears away, sniffling. “I’m your sister, right? And this is your house! It’s okay now.”

“IT’S NOT OKAY! I NEED TO GET TO FRIN!” They held their fists out in front of them like Za did sometimes. “OUTTA MY WAY!”

“NO!” Nille raised her own fists, holding them in front of her face. “IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! THERE’S SOMETHING CRABBING WRONG WITH HIM!”

“WELL YEAH! HE’S SICK! HE’S SICK AND HURT AND I GOTTA HELP HIM!”

“NO YOU DON’T!” She glared down at him, but something in her expression broke. Nille lowered her hands. “You’re just a kid, Bonnie.”

“I am NOT!”

“Yes, yes you are! You’re a kid and he’s some creep! You don’t know anything about him, but you want to go off with him!”

This felt very familiar. Familiar in a way that made their stomach hurt. But they swallowed it down. “I do too! He’s Frin! He’s scissors type, likes bad puns, and lets me get away with stuff! He’s weird but nice and- and…”

“And what?”

“And I can’t leave him!” Bonnie said. “He needs me, and I’m not leaving him!”

“So what? You just expect them to stay here forever?” Her voice broke, fresh tears running down her cheeks. “You’d rather leave ME?!”

“NO!”

No. No no no no no. They weren’t leaving! They weren’t!

“THEN WHAT?! WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!”

This time?

…

They remembered now. It was years ago. Something like this happened before.

“HE’S NOT TAKING YOU AWAY FROM ME!“

And she was right that time! But that was different. They were tiny and stupid and not the same at all!

“I WON’T LET HIM!”

The last time she got this upset was…

“HE’S NOT LIKE DAD!” Bonnie shouted.

… when that guy who pretended to be their dad came by. He looked like them, and he seemed really nice at first. Even bought Bonnie some ice cream and toys and offered to pay for more stuff. At the time, he’d seemed really sorry for leaving, seemed to really care, so Bonnie believed him…

But Nille was mad. There was a lot of yelling, and they yelled at Nille then too. The next day, him and Nille yelled a lot, and he came back the next night smelling all sour and weirdly off-balance and got into another fight. A bad one. They were frozen, almost hit, but Nille pulled them away. She told them to run, to get Defenders, and they did!

When they got there, she was really hurt. They took that man away and he was never seen again…

But this wasn’t like that!

“HOW DO YOU KNOW?!” Nille yelled. Her fists were shaking they were held so tight.

“I’ve been with him for MONTHS! He- he…” Bonnie’s vision blurred, but they angrily blinked the tears back. “He’s nice! Super duper nice! So nice that he- he…”

Someone was knocking on the door.

“He lost his crabbing EYE because of me!”

Nille stilled. “What?”

The knocking grew louder, a muffled voice yelling from the front of the house.

“A Sadness almost got me, but he pushed me out of the way! And- and he’s the one who crabbing FOUND me! When I was hungry and thirsty and tired and- and- and he saved me then too! And then he lost an EYE because of me, and he went through infinite school without breaks even after we beat the King because he was scared we’d leave forever, and now he’s sick! He’s bad Changed and sick because we couldn’t help him then!”

The knocking turned to banging. The heavy thuds of someone big beating against something.

“So I gotta help him NOW!” Bonnie said. They brought their fists up, glaring up at her. “Even if- even if I gotta fight YOU to get to him!”

Family doesn’t hurt each other… but family doesn’t leave each other to die either!

Nille stared down at them, mouth slack with horror. “Bonnie, I… Heh. What are you talking about? Infinite school? And- and… what if he hurts you? Or- or…” She raised her fists, but they dropped. The rest of her slumped down too, sliding to the ground with her back against the door. One hand reached out to them. “Please, I’m so scared. Don’t go. I can’t- I can’t do this again…”

“… Nille…” Their vision went completely blurry. It took every bone in their body not to just collapse into a hug. For so long it’d been just the two of them, but…

CRACK-

The sound of splintering wood pierced the small house. Someone yelled in, “What’s going on in here?!” The door, the door!

Now was their chance!

Bonnie ran at Nille shoulder-first, door giving way behind her. As they tumbled out into the short hallway, scrambling onto their feet, a Defender stared dumbly at them.

“NILLE I’M SORRY! I’LL BE BACK I PROMISE!” Bonnie shouted as they bolted past the Defender, narrowly dodging an attempt to grab them, and out the door.

“BONNIE WAIT!” Nille shouted.

But they were already gone.

Bonnie tore across the sands, months of being on the road and running from Sadnesses paying off. They had the speed, the endurance, they could make it!

They had to make it. Otherwise Frin would be gone .

They kept running and running until they reached the beach plums—stupid beach plums, they’d never eat one again never ever ever!!!—and…

“… Frin?” They looked around. Maybe they’d missed him? It was getting dark after all! But that’d make it easier to see him, right? ‘Cause he’s so bright! They were going pretty fast though, so just…

Walk back a little! Stare at the sands.

Oh look. Blood. Blood and scuffed up sand and footprints. And blood. A lot of blood. Some of the droppings led towards…

…

He must’ve just washed off.

They were too late. He was gone . He wa s gone and it was their fault. They’re the one who wanted to pick beach plums. And now Siffrin’s gone. Now Siffrin’s…

He knew a healing spell or two now, right? So he just. Healed. And was coming back. He wasn’t. Nevermind that Bonnie didn’t cross his path, they must’ve been going too fast. Not fast enough to save him.

Oh. More blurry. More tears. They didn’t know they had more of those. Wouldn’t they run out at some point? Though the King sure didn’t.

Sadnesses didn’t.

Sand scratched at their knees as they sunk down in front of an ocean of cold salt water. Did it really give you nice dreams? Maybe they could have one. Being awake was. Kinda

Terrible

Right now

They’d like to

Stop

…

Stop

…

Stop!

…

Please?

…

stop

…

stop…

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP-

But the waves kept crashing. Why was time still moving? Why did it have to move NOW?!

Maybe if these were real tears, it would’ve frozen Siffrin. Then Mira could fix it! And he’d be back. It was better than- than…

Bonnie’s tears speckled the ground alongside dark splotches. For whatever reason, their little mind decided to cling to the fact that when their eyes were full of tears, sometimes they could kinda see that weird shade. The broken shade. Bits of proof of Siffrin.

But Siffrin was…

“Heeeeey little buddy, can you hear me?” … a defender?

“Bonnie-!” Nille!!! She was running towards them, arms out, going to get them again, going to stop them from saving Frin-

“Shhhhhhh. You two just had a big fight. Lemme handle this one.” They leaned down, a mountain in Bonnie’s vision. “Hey, can you look at me?”

Bonnie blinked owlishly, but nodded. They tried to get up, but it felt like they were on a boat in a storm. As they wavered, they were suddenly aware of all the pain. Everything felt

Heavy

But they had to push past, had to, had to…

“… where’s Frin?”

The defender gave a little smile, but it was fake. Forced. “I…” they sighed, letting the smile crumple. “I won’t lie to you. He’s in bad shape. But we found him in time. His friends are taking him to the doctor right now.”

The doctor? Frin was…

Frin…

“Frin’s alive? He’s not-? He’s- he’s…” The sheer relief knocked whatever strength remained from them and they tilted backwards onto the sand.

Huh. There were those star things that Frin liked. They looked really nice, actually. Maybe that’s why he kept staring at them. And they were important or something. Frin only sometimes mentioned it, but…

“Um, Universe? Thank you. For not taking Frin away,” they mumbled.

A steady hand helped them stand up, soon switching to carrying them. The defender took them both to some station, feeding them some snacks (even though they were supposed to be snack leader, it’s fine this time) and asking things. Mostly about what happened. Apparently they weren’t supposed to see Frin tonight, but everyone else was with him and someone came in to confirm that Siffrin would live. They were really tired, so the defenders let them sleep there. It was weird not sleeping with someone, but they were still mad at Nille.

So instead, they thanked stars until they fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Isabeau wasn’t really sure when he’d fallen asleep, but the feeling of movement awoke him. He yawned as he set up, back aching from the questionable position he’d fallen asleep in; he didn’t want to crowd or spook Siffrin, so he’d ended up sitting on a chair next to the infirmary bed, falling asleep hand in hand. Siffrin was lying face-down, face propped against the firm pillow in a way that gave Isabeau too good of a view. Sif’s good eye was glassy, and scarring showed around the temporary, paper eyepatch the doctor gave.

“Good morning Sif,” Isa said. His heart fluttered, but for once not necessarily from attraction.

Even with the medical attention, Sif still managed to look… well, not paler. They couldn’t get much paler. No, he’d gotten darker in all the wrong places, shadows under his eye, dried stains around his mouth—he’d been cleaned the best anyone could, but murky seawater and blood still joined drool as he slept—every bone seeming to have darkness lingering around it. That last one was just Isa’s mind playing tricks of course. Siffrin hadn’t lost weight, at least not a substantial amount, but he just looked so small and frail, breaths still rasping as he lie there in a thin nightgown, swallowed by the thick blankets.

“That is still SO ominous, Isa,” Siffrin croaked. His whole body shook as a fresh bout of coughs tore through him, staining the pillow with tinted spittle.

It was, objectively, a good thing. Coughing meant it was coming up. It meant it wouldn’t stay in his lungs and make it hard to breathe. It meant it was less likely to cause further issues. Isabeau knew this. He knew would happen, knew it was better that it happened, knew it had to come out.

But it still reached into his chest to grab his heart and claw at it almost as much as the words Siffrin had said, completely disconnected from the little greeting he’d given.

Mirabelle and Odile stirred at sound of Siffrin hacking up a fresh bout of liquid—he was still coughing enough that Isa quietly feared the blood was fresh, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t.

For once Odile had shared the extra bed, but it’d have been cruel not to after Mirabelle almost drowned herself.

“Siffrin…?” Mirabelle said. Her voice was a bit croak-y, but not half as bad as Sif’s.

“Hey Mirabelle, have you-“ Sif couldn’t finish his sentence, taking a shuddering breath in.

Isabeau cringed, able to hear the way his lungs crackled. What had the doctor said again? Rub his back? Light strikes, enough to break up any fluid. Maybe a warm compress, later.

“Hey buddy, I’m gonna touch you now, okay?” Isabeau said.

Siffrin didn’t answer, didn’t even seem to hear.

Isabeau swallowed a lump in his throat. It’d be okay, right? Siffrin liked touch, actually! And he needed this. Isa reached out, carefully closing that gap, but Siffrin flinched like he’d been shocked all the same.

Isabeau pulled his hand back like it’d been burnt. “Sif…”

“He’s completely out of it,” Mirabelle said.

“… I wish I could say I was surprised, but hoping he’d brush off whatever happened would be a fool’s hope.” Odile said.

“So what do we-“ Mirabelle cleared her throat. “What do we do?”

“Same as we always do, I suppose.” Odile said. She put on some false, cheer, or her sardonic version at least. “Try to sound happy, don’t stress him out, and…” She got up, plucking a few bottles of chilled orange juice from the craft-enhanced ice box. She handed one to Mirabelle (who immediately started chugging) and the other to Isabeau. “See if you can get Siffrin to drink this. Ironic, isn’t it, that almost drowning likely left him dehydrated.” She peered at him, looking through some stuff in her pockets and handing Isabeau a vial. “Here. Ginger Juice too, if you can manage it.”

Right. Hydration! Vitamins! Calories! All extremely important in general, but especially right now. Isa put on his best friendly, dumb jock grin. “Hey Sif. Buddy. You thirsty?”

Siffrin didn’t even look at him.

“Siffrin! Breakfast! Want some orange juice?” Mirabelle chirped, shaking her own now-empty bottle of orange juice. She already sounded better.

Nothing.

Her face fell, but she managed to keep up the fake cheer. “Oh! How about snacks? We had snacks in the House, right?”

“The people in Dormont?” Siffrin mumbled. He slowly shifted to a sitting position. Progress!

“Good thinking Mira,” Odile said. “Yes, I do believe it’s snack time then. Isabeau?”

Isabeau nodded, trying to hand off the orange juice to Siffrin, but…

“I had a meeting with a plum today…”

Well, crab… though he could see the pun coming. It was a weird thing to give him hope, but still. C’mon Sif!

“Thatmeetingwasveryfrui-“ Siffrin wheezed as his voice crackled out, eye rolling up as he tilted. For a moment it looked as though he might fall over, but he caught himself on one hand.

Oh. Oh no. Isa’s heart could barely take this, but he couldn’t just leave either. Still, it had to be some method of torture, having Siffrin right there and hurting, but still somehow beyond help. He could only hope he was keeping up the act better than Mirabelle and Odile; even the m’dame couldn’t help but look frustratedly helpless , something that chilled Isa’s core. All of them here. All of them useless -

Knock knock knoc- oh okay they’re just coming in anyways-

“Bonnie!” Mirabelle said.

A Defender’s hand had shot out, keeping the preteen from immediately rushing Siffrin. Instead, they watched from the door, biting their lower lip and blinking a bit too much. It looked like they were about to either cry, scream, or try to fight someone.

“Heh, sorry kiddo. Just, uh, take it easy. Not sure what shape he’s in,” the defender said. “They’re with you guys, right? Is it okay if they’re in here?”

There was an awkward silence. Isabeau was no mind reader, but he suspected they were all torn for roughly the same reason. Bonnie should absolutely be allowed to see Siffrin, but they were both near-breakdown levels of stressed out. All it’d take was one wrong move and they could set each other off…

But at the same time, it felt outright cruel to send Bonnie away. They were worried about Siffrin, same as the rest of them.

Isabeau steadied himself the best he could and stood up, “They’re with us, yeah. I’ve got ‘em.” He went over, scooping up Bonnie and ignoring the preteen’s wiggling as the defender nodded and walked off.

“Lemme go!” Bonnie said, pushing hard as they could against Isabeau’s chest. “Put me down! I gotta- I gotta get to- Frin! Friiiiin!”

Crab.

“Hey. Bonnie. Buddy,” Isabeau said firmly. “We’re going to call down a bit first.” He turned his gaze to Mirabelle and Odile. “Keep an eye on Sif for a few minutes. We’re not going far.” He walked out the still open door and sat down in front of it, listening to it click shut behind him.

“YOU LOCKED US OUT!” Bonnie yelled.

“Shhhhh! This is an infirmary…” He wasn’t sure anyone else was actually here, especially in this area, but he didn’t want Siffrin to hear either. “And no, no I didn’t. The door locks from this side. We got it incase, well…” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “In case Sif tried to run off.”

It wouldn’t have been the first time Siffrin had a bad night, woke up thinking he was somewhere else, and just started walking, and he had always been the fastest of them. While camping, it usually wasn’t too much of a problem so long as they didn’t completely lose him, but there was no telling what might happen if some stranger found him like that. No, best to avoid the situation all together—he’d have to thank Odile for requesting that.

Bonnie squinted at Isabeau, then just as suddenly scaled him and opened the door.

“Ow??? My head???” Isabeau said, gently removing the child using his head and shoulders as a step stool. He set them back on the ground. “Believe me now?”

“…. I guess so.” They crossed their arms, glaring up at him. “So what? What’s so important that I can’t see Frin?!”

“You are, Bonnie!”

“What.”

“… I wanted to make sure you were okay. You, um, looked like you were about to cry. Or scream.”

“I’m not gonna cry Za! I’m not a baby like you!” They stamped their foot on the ground, blinking a bit too much for someone who “wasn’t going to cry.”

“Bonnie, even adults cry. I mean, other than just me. It’s okay.”

“Shut up.”

This couldn’t be easy, could it? No, no. That wasn’t fair. They were a child, forced to deal with something that even adults found stressful. Besides…

“You were with Sif last night, weren’t you?”

Bonnie probably had to deal with the worst of it.

“… yeah. So what?” Bonnie said. They were looking away, starting to shake from all the pent up feelings in their too-small body.

Isabeau considered them carefully. Bonnie could be volatile, everyone knew this by now. They were loud and young and big feelings so often came out as anger, and they were the one who had to see whatever led to all this. A meltdown felt more-or-less imminent. Ideally, they’d find a nice quiet spot away from everyone, but he doubted Bonnie would willingly move further from Siffrin. They definitely couldn’t have this talk with Siffrin staring at them though, so it looked like the hallway it was. Sorry to anyone else who was here, but he doubted this would be the first time something like this happened here.

None of this was ideal, and he doubted Bonnie would be able to hold it off long, so best to rip off the proverbial bandage.

“Bonnie, hey, look at me.”

“What? What do you want?”

He took a deep breath like Siffrin. “I’m not going to lie to you, Siffrin isn’t doing great. He will be okay, but he isn’t right now. But he will be later. I promise.”

“… super promise?”

“Super DUPER promise.”

Bonnie gave a nod. “Good. But I’m not dumb. I know he’s not okay. He was spitting blood! Okay people don’t do that.”

Isabeau internally cringed. He’d been hoping Bonnie had somehow been spared the horror since they weren’t there for him almost drowning, but seems not.

“Bonnie, Sif’s really out of it right now. So far that I don’t think he even knows where or when he is, so we can’t really ask him what happened. And we might need to know to help him. So can you tell me what’s going on?”

Was that the right thing to do? Was it putting too much pressure on them? It was too late to take it back, so he could only hope it was.

Bonnie stared intently at the floor, hands balled up into fists. “Nille was being a crab.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah! She wasn’t listening, Za! She made Frin script! And I told her to stop, but she didn’t!”

“How’d she do that?”

Bonnie squinted off into the distance, trying to remember. “I think… I think she was asking where he was from? Which yeah, it’s kinda weird, but I don’t know either???”

“Huh. Now that you mention it, I’m not sure myself.” He’d noticed, of course. Siffrin had said things about him hometown that didn’t really match anywhere, at least not that Isabeau knew of. Honestly, it was kind of concerning? Every time he just sorta brushed it off, said that Siffrin probably didn’t want to talk about it, but…

Weird. He was getting a bit of a headache. Probably just stress, maybe thirst too.

“Yeah, it’s weird, but who cares! Frin’s a traveler, he travels! I tried to tell Nille that’s enough, and Frin told her to drop it too! But she didn’t! She kept pushing! Even when I told her to stop because she was making Frin script, she started yelling and- and…” They sniffled, angrily rubbing tears from their eyes. “He said it again. The word that hurts.”

“Oh.” That didn’t come close to saying everything, bit he suddenly felt like he understood Siffrin all too well. So much swirling in his head, but no idea how to even begin to articulate it.

“Yeah! It- it really hurt. And I think it scared Nille.” They were shaking, holding tight to their own arms. Isa reached out, but they flinched back. “Don’t CRABBING touch me!”

“Hey, hey. Okay. No touching right now, got it.” Since when did Bonnie not want hugs? What happened?

Bonnie shuffled away, breath coming a bit too quick. “He said it again, Za! He said it twice! And it hurt! It hurt a lot! But it hurt him more! He was- he was coughing blood. He was on the sand, coughing blood, and- and it was that weird shade, and it was so much…”

Isa’s heart sunk to his stomach. “Bonnie. I’m so sorry, that sounds terrifying… You shouldn’t have had to see-“

“SHUT UP! I DON’T CARE IF I SAW IT! I CARE THAT IT HAPPENED!” They stomped on the ground, whole body tensed up as angry tears finally spilled over. “I CARE THAT HE GOT HURT BECAUSE OF ME AGAIN! I CARE THAT HE ALMOST CRABBING DIED BECAUSE OF ME!”

This was getting out of control fast. Isa, unthinking, reached out, “Bonnie-“

“STOPPIT! DON’T TOUCH ME! WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO GRAB ME?! NO WONDER FRIN HATES THIS!”

There was more to this story. He knew it. Isabeau kept his voice as even as he could. “Bonnie. What happened next?”

“I- He…” They sniffle, wiping at their own cheeks. “He was gonna say it again, I- I think? I couldn’t let him say it Za! Something bad was gonna happen! I knew it would! I know he doesn’t like surprise touch, but I grabbed him. I grabbed him and I- I- I shoved a potion in his mouth. I don’t think he drank any of it, so I tried again! I think- I think a little went down? But I’m not sure.”

Isabeau stayed silent, leaving his arms open in case they wanted a hug, but not pushing. Let them speak, clearly they needed it.

“Then Nille grabbed me. She- she took me away! I tried to make her let go, but she wouldn’t! She wouldn’t! Crabbing! LISTEN! I- I kicked and bit and screamed but she wouldn’t let me go! ” Their voice warbled and cracked, tears hitting the tile floor. “She took me home and- and…” They swallowed, shook their head. “Family isn’t ’posed to hurt each other, Za. So I- So I tried not to, but- but maybe I should have? Frin was gone when I got out. I thought…”

“Hey. It’s okay, they’re right insi-“

“I THOUGHT THEY WERE DEAD, ZA! I THOUGHT THEY DIED BECAUSE OF ME!”

Oh Bonnie.

His heart ached just watching them, tears pricking his own eyes as they sunk down to the floor and sobbed. They were blaming themselves, just like last time.

“Why does it keep happening? Why does Frin keep getting hurt because of me? Why am I so USELESS?!” They slammed their fist into the wall.

“Bonnie. Look at me,” Isabeau said as firmly as he could. “ Look at me.” He waited until their eyes were on him go continue. “Bonnie, this was not your fault. Nille’s the one who kept pushing.”

“Bu-But, but it’s because-“

“No. No buts, not this time.” He steadied himself against the ground, anchoring himself. He had an idea, but would it be too much to put on them?

… it was better than what was already there.

“Bonnie. Look at me. You saved them . You saved Frin.”

“I-I did? How? I didn’t do anything…”

“Yes you did, Bonnie.” He tentatively reached over, putting his hand on their shoulder. This time, they let him. “You know, in Defender training, one of the things we learn about is what to do when someone’s hurt.

“First, you try to make sure they aren’t in immediate danger, and you did that! You stopped him from saying that word again. Then, you give medical attention if you can. Stop the bleeding. And, yeah, maybe he didn’t drink the whole potion, but if even a little got in him, that still bought a little more time. They don’t expect us to be perfect doctors, we just have to keep them alive long enough for step three: get help. Whether you realized or not, you screaming got the attention of other defenders, and they managed to keep an eye on him and find us.”

He smiled down at them, tilting their head up and wiping away the tears. “Bonnie, you did perfect , and it saved his life.”

A lot to put on the kid, but better than thinking they’d almost killed him.

A fresh wave of tears welled up, but at least this time they smiled before surging forward, wrapping arms around him as they wailed into his chest. They still flinched if he tried to hug back, so he settled for rubbing their hair and back until they settled down… though as he was stroking them, he couldn’t help but notice the fingerprint-sized bruises peaking out from under their tank top. No wonder they were touchy…

“Feeling better?”

Bonnie nodded. “Yeah. Thanks Za. Can I see Frin now?”

“Maaaaybe wipe your face off better- okay I guess your arm works.” It was all over his front too, but oh well. He’d have to wash these before returning them anyways.

Isabeau opened the door and had to take a moment to just stare in bafflement at… whatever was happening here. Mirabelle was wearing a bedsheet for some reason while Odile was just standing, defeated, with her head against the wall, a bottle of orange juice in hand.

“Uh… what did we miss?” Isabeau said.

Mirabelle peaked out from under the sheet. “I thought maybe if Sif thought we were in battle, we could get him to drink something-“

“You are so lucky he hasn’t attacked you,” Odile said.

“I think he can tell it’s me still. I guess I don’t, um, sound like a sadness?”

“And sadnesses do not look like bedsheets,” Odile added.

“Still can’t get him to drink either, huh?” Isabeau said.

Bonnie was giving them the most judgmental look a near-teen could muster, which was pretty judgmental, actually. “Wow. You guys are, like, REALLY bad at this.” They made the ‘give it here’ motion at Odile, taking the bottle of orange juice. “Frin! Potion! Catch!” They chucked the (thankfully closed) bottle at him.

Siffrin, as they were all suddenly reminded, had pretty great reflexes, actually. He caught it, opened it, and chugged it in one fluid motion. Thankfully it was small enough that it was unlikely to make him sick to drink it all at once.

“… was it really that easy?” Mirabelle said.

“Only from our little potion master!” Isabeau said.

Bonnie puffed up, smirking. “Hehe, I am the snack leader after all!” They inched over, shuffling up to the bed. “Uh… hey Frin. Dunno how much you’re hearing, ‘cause I know that was really super scary and you got upset and stuff, but you know about snacks, right? We’ve had snack times when you were out of it before. So!” They rifled through their pockets. “First! A nut bar the defenders gave me. Crunchy, nutty, honey, think there’s chocolate in there! But, y’know, still just a nut bar. Second! Um… oh right! The witch came by! She brought a hand quiche, and I think it’s for you? I don’t remember what kind, sorry. Third!” They rifled through and paused, slowly and stiffly bringing out a handful of something. “Right… uh. Beach plums. Forgot I grabbed a few while you and Nille… Nevermind, you don’t gotta eat these. But I’ll leave them, I guess.”

None of them expected a verbal response, so they just set the treats in front of him.

“Thank you snack leader for this delicious meal!” Siffrin said. It was still just a line, and one ambiguous enough that it was hard to tell how much he was aware of, but even still…

It was nice to hear him kinda happy.

The rest of them pooled together on the extra bed as Bonnie nudged Siffrin into eating. Their rogue’s enthusiastic line delivery didn’t quite keep up as he picked at the food in a daze, but it was still progress. A bite of nut-bar here, a mannerless scoop of quiche there, though he seemed to like the plums enough to not set them down again until he’d reached the pit.

“Don’t forget to drink too,” Bonnie said, handing him some ginger juice. “So you don’t get sick.”

He made a slight face as he drank it, but down the hatch.

“… heyfrin, um, dunno how much you’re listening, but I’m glad you’re okay. I’m sorry Nille was a crab… But, um… it’s not gonna happen again, okay? So no more getting hurt! Not for me or her, just… please be okay.”

Siffrin’s eye was, for the first time that day, focused , trained directly on Bonnie.

Bonnie smiled, looking up to him. “Heyfrin! Hehe, yeah, I see you looking at me! Um… is it okay if I touch you now? I think, um, I think we both need a hug. But not too tight. Is that okay?”

Siffrin blinked slowly, gaze owlish. For a moment it seemed like maybe they were all mistaken, that he wasn’t quite here yet, but slowly he nodded, opening his arms up. Bonnie wasted no time in tackling him, their face in his chest as they hugged him tight. He froze for a moment, but slowly melted into their hold, holding them gently. His head rested atop theirs, wide eye slowly relaxing as he looked down to their smiling face.

“That one you like, you said it came from me, right?” Bonnie said.

Siffrin slowly nodded, breath catching and eye misting over.

They said it together, “See, you do know how to hug.”

Chapter Text

Odile could do little more than watch as Bonnie of all people was the one to coax Siffrin back to the here and now, leading them gently by the hand until his eye regained some semblance of focus. It was a nice sight, admittedly, one she was glad not to have missed. As they hugged each other, the tension ran out of everyone’s shoulders. It felt warm…

But she couldn’t help but feel guilty that she had been largely useless. Yes, yes, how very Siffrin of her, feeling bad for things she could not reasonably change. What? Did she want him in slightly worse danger so she also could’ve pitched in on saving his life?

No. Never.

That said, this felt unearned, somehow. Getting to be amongst them as Bonnie realized they’d fed all the snacks to Siffrin—who needed it most, no one was going to argue against that—and left no breakfast for the rest of them. Isabeau was fake-fretting in a way obvious enough that even a still-addled Siffrin couldn’t mistake it for genuine. Before the thought could even cross Odile’s mind, Mirabelle was already offering to go pick up breakfast for all of them. It was lovely, honestly. Warm and familiar, even if circumstances had left them dully aching. This time when Siffrin started to cough, he let Isabeau massage their back, helping dislodge some of the fluid that’d taken residence there.

Hurt, yes, but being helped. Patching each other up, sharing laughs in the interim, everyone slotting into their own roles. Calling it nostalgic would imply that it’d been long enough to have some distance, but it felt similar, somehow. In her mind, images upon images of late nights, treks through dungeons, campfires, inns, so many little occurrences that defined so much of their bond. In a role like theirs, in saving a country, in traveling, in fighting, gems, in life itself, harm was an inevitability. This? This was what made it all worth it.

She should have been at peace, just sitting back and allowing the younglings to tend to each other, sitting back until the doctor came and taking notes on any long-term needs—not that she distrusted the rest of them, but planning and practicality was her niche. Everyone was together, things were being solved, but something still nagged at her. She counted the heads, just in case. One, two, three, four, five. Same as usual on their travels.

But they weren’t traveling, were they?

They’d treated the aftermath, but not the root. Someone needed to talk to Pétronille, both for their sakes and hers.

“Odile,” Siffrin said, cutting through her thoughts. “Anything weird happen lately?”

“I was just thinking, I should go talk to Petronille.”

“Are you sure, Madame?” Isabeau said. “She’s probably still upset and, um…”

“And I’m not particularly suited to being comforting. Yes, I’m well aware. But be honest, are any of us in the mood to coddle her after whatever happened? And even if we were, do you think she’d return the favor?”

There was a long silence as they all looked at each other with expressions like they’d just tasted sour milk.

Bonnie crossed their arms. “Do you even know what happened? ‘Cause I’m not saying it again!”

“No need, you are quite loud, and I was near the door.” She stood up from the bed, back crackling in protest. “I heard enough, but rest assured, I’ll hear her out as well.”

But with that said, she had a feeling certain topics were going to come up. She looked at Siffrin with a steely gaze. “Siffrin. I believe she asked where you were from. I know that’s difficult for you to speak about on multiple levels, so let me ask, are you okay with me explaining?”

Siffrin stared back at her, his hands balling up the thick blankets around him. Bonnie gave them a little hug as Isabeau put a hand on his shoulder and Mirabelle took one hand. He took a deep breath, looked her in the eye, and nodded.

“Alright. And the loops?”

His gaze dropped. She couldn’t blame him for that, it was a hard subject, one they were still slowly chipping away at, unearthing it bit by bit with the care one would give a rare gem, afraid to damage it if they dug into it carelessly.

“You don’t have to, Sif,” Isabeau said.

“Yeah! Nille was the one being a crab!” Bonnie said. How bittersweet that they were so adamantly defending Siffrin against their sister.

“But…” Mirabelle took her hand back to chew at her nails. “But if we don’t tell her, will anything actually change?”

Siffrin scratched at the blankets with his newly freed hand, uneven fingernails catching the fabric.

Odile sighed. “… I know. I know I’m asking a lot. I’ll try to find a work around if it’s really too much, but I’m not sure she’d believe it. Though admittedly, I suspect time loops would be difficult to believe as well.” If she hadn’t seen the proof, she wouldn’t believe it either.

“… yes.” Siffrin said.

That was… ambiguous. But she couldn’t blame him for that.

“Yes, you want me to tell her?” Odile said.

Siffrin nodded, though tempered it with a so-so motion of his hand.

Odile nodded. “I’ll try to spare the details.”

Siffrin gave her a thumbs up and sunk into the Bonnie hug, leaning on them…

Leaning…

They were tilting quite a bit now actually.

“Friiiin! Ack! Frin! You gotta sit up too!”

“No,” he said with a mischievous grin.

“Za! Za help!”

“Hmmmm… Maybe if you say ‘Mr. Uncle-Guy-Best-Dude-Ever Isabeau, please help me’ I’ll help!”

“NEVERRRRRRR!” And down they go.

Siffrin had successfully toppled a child, ‘trapping’ them in a loose, lazy sort of cuddle that was mostly just lying on their legs. They did some fake flailing of their arms, not even attempting to actually pull themselves out and careful not to actually move their legs and risk kicking Siffrin.

“Adorable,” Odile said.

“NOOOOOOOO!”

“Yes,” Siffrin said. After milking it a few extra seconds, they relented, pushing themselves up and freeing Bonnie who immediately showed exactly how upset they were at this whole ordeal by settling back into his lap.

“Aaaaaaw! Guuuuuys! You can’t be this cute! My heart can’t take it!” Isabeau said.

“Keep going, we’re in a hospital, so he’ll be fine,” Odile said.

“Madame! Nooooooo!” Mirabelle said, failing to hide her laughter behind her hand.

She would do anything to let these four keep smiling like this.

———

Pétronille was still at the defender’s station. Not precisely imprisoned, but certainly monitored. Who wouldn’t be, after an event like last night? It took some persuading to get the defenders to let Odile and her have a room to themselves—not much, a spare bedroom with no more than a bed, sink, and toilet, but they let her bring an extra chair, so it’d work well enough.

Odile took the chair as they sat down, door shutting behind them. There was no lock to speak of, but it was as private as they’d get.

“Pétronille, we need to talk,” Odile said.

“Is Bonnie okay?”

Immediately asking about Boniface, she could respect that. Appreciate it, even. Maybe they could work this out after all.

“They’re still somewhat upset, and Isabeau had to coach them through a breakdown, but they’re with the others. I don’t think they’ll be leaving Siffrin’s side for any longer than a bathroom break.”

Pétronille’s eyes narrowed as she searched Odile’s face. “And you trust that?”

“I do. Admittedly, they’re both a bit emotional right now, but they’re in a safe place and Isabeau and Mirabelle are with them.” She searched Petronille’s expression in return. “Why? Is there some reason I shouldn’t?”

The younger woman huffed, pulling one knee up to her chest to rest her head on. “Why do you guys trust him so much? You don’t even know where he’s from.”

“Well, when you’ve been traveling with someone for several months through harrowing experiences, that tends to happen.”

“And yet you still don’t even know where he came from! Doesn’t that sound wrong to you? How can you spend this long with him and not know where he’s from?!”

“I agree completely. There is something incredibly wrong with that.”

Petronille’s eyes widened, jaw going slack as she stared, dumbfounded. She recovered after a moment or two, raising her defenses back up. “So why trust him?”

“Because I do, in fact, know where he’s from, and more than that, I have a strong suspicion as to why no one’s questioned it. Are you aware that there used to be an island to the north of here? One whose name no one can recall.”

“Oh yeah… it was all anyone could talk about for a while, but don’t think anyone’s brought it up in years. But what does that have to…” Her eyes widened in a quiet horror. “Oh. Oh crab. Is that where he’s from?”

“As far as anyone, Siffrin himself included, can tell, yes.”

She was quiet for a while, staring into nothing. Odile could only guess what was going through her head, but doubted any of it was pleasant. But she fixed her jaw, balling up her fists. “Yeah, well. Even so, there’s something wrong with him! He’s not right in the head! He hurt Bonnie!”

Odile was fairly certain she knew, but had every intention of making Pétronille spell it out if only so she could hear herself. “How so?”

“He- he…” she made a noise of frustration, gesturing mid-air. “I still don’t really know. He was saying something, I think? Some kind of craft I didn’t recognize?”

“I’ll admit, I’m not fully certain, but I believe it’s the island’s name. He’s said it before, and I’ll admit, the headache is a bad one, but it hurts him worse.”

“Then why say it?!”

“It’s involuntary. He can’t help it.”

“So you just let him do that?”

“We don’t let him, it just happens. And he doesn’t say it often, typically it only happens when he’s severely stressed out.”

Petronille’s face screwed up. “So what? It’s my fault?”

“Yes.”

The younger woman flinched, clearly not having expected her to be quite so blunt, but it didn’t last long. She grit her teeth, glaring up at Odile as she pushed herself to her feet. “Well how the crab was I supposed to know that?! I was just trying to protect Bonnie!” Petronille said. “What am I supposed to think when some guy who no one knows crab about starts getting dodgy with basic questions and then says something that physically hurts? Am I just supposed to magically know? You’ve been living in my crabbing house, and you never thought to warn me? And you dare say this is my fault?!”

Odile regarded her carefully. Petronille had an excellent point, one that resonated. She’d been attempting to preserve Siffrin’s privacy, presumably the same as they all were, but…

“No, you’re right,” Odile said. The old woman sighed, taking a seat.

“You crabbing- wait what?” She narrowed her eyes. “You agree?”

“I do. That was our fault, partially, though don’t think yourself blameless.” She tapped one foot, looking to the side and mentally picking through her options. Ah-

“Did we ever tell you how we met Siffrin?”

“No.”

“It was before Bonnie joined. Mirabelle, Isabeau, and I were traveling between cities. We got ambushed by a strong sadness. Étouffer, a centaur-like sadness with a long mane of hair—the fact that it wasn’t just tears should’ve tipped me off. By then, I knew the strong ones don’t always show their hands, and this one wasn’t. So I went with the tactic of just testing out crafts on it. Isabeau went first…

“… it ensnared him. When he went to punch it, his fist got stuck in its mane. He only got more trapped trying to pull away, and it started drowning him with its tears. We figured out it was rock type, but so was Isabeau. There was no way to hit it with our paper attacks without hitting him too, and it seemed bound to outlast him.” Her hand shook as she dug her fingers into the side of the chair. “And all the while it was wearing us down. Mirabelle may be dual type, but she’s still weak to rock craft, so she was all but knocked out.”

Her stomach hurt just remembering it, but she kept her composure. “We were lucky that Siffrin saw us. I never would’ve thought that using scissors craft on a rock type would be the best move, but he came out with a bad pun and manage to slice Isabeau free. From there, we turned the tide.”

“Later, we reached the next city. They celebrated us. Turns out that sadness had been giving them trouble for a long time. They called it the Kelpie, and it was known for that.” She took a deep breath in and out, much like Siffrin often would. “I couldn’t celebrate. All I could think of was that if Siffrin hadn’t come in when he had, our journey may have ended there. I was supposed to come up with strategy, and my strategies almost got us killed…

“But I couldn’t have known about it yet. I didn’t know what type it was, and I didn’t know that touching it was all but a death sentence unless you did something counter-intuitive, and even then, I’m not sure that my book or Mirabelle’s rapier would’ve managed to slice through like Siffrin’s dagger, even with piercing craft. Given what I knew, I acted the best I could… so all of this to say, that if anyone understands  the pain and frustration of almost losing someone because you did the best you could with what you knew, it’s me…

“So no, I’m not mad that you made logical conclusions. I’m not mad you tried to protect Bonnie—if anything, we’d all do the same. I’m mad that, if Bonnie’s recount was accurate, you were told several times to stop, and you didn’t.”

Petronille’s mouth opened, but nothing came out at first. That was alright, Odile could be patient. It was a lot to take in, after all. Besides, it gave her time to strategize as well.

Eventually, Petronille spoke, “I didn’t know he was going to react like that.”

“We’ve established this, yes.”

“You could’ve warned me.”

“We should have.”

The younger woman stared, teeth grit and fists shaking. If it came to it, Odile would defend herself…

But thankfully it didn’t. Petronille broke her gaze and sighed. “What the crab am I doing? I, just…” she gestured vaguely with her hands and made a noise of frustration. “Why do you have to be so crabbing reasonable? Why can’t you just be mad at me?!”

“Oh, I am, but I’ll accept it was partly our fault too. Mostly my own, if anyone.”

“Ugh, stop that! Stop- just- let me be mad!” Her voice broke as she blinked back tears. Odile opened her mouth to speak, but Petronille cut her off, “DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I know I’m being stupid, okay?! I know I’m being childish, that I’m acting like a child, I know! Everyone’s already crabbing TOLD ME!

“They’ve told me about how you’re all great and how Bonnie’s so lucky to travel, told me I should be fine since we’ve been getting letters and the witch said they were alright and, yeah, people sometimes come by and say you’re doing great! And I should be happy for them! They’re famous! Probably don’t have to work a day in their life if they don’t want to! They get to travel with celebrities, go wherever they want, can have anything and everything! Everyone loves them wherever they go! So I’m being stupid for worrying! I know, I know!” She grabbed at her own hair, tears flowing freely as she glared daggers at Odile. “Look! Maybe I wanted there to be something wrong! Because then I have a crabbing reason to be mad! But I’m the one who’s messed up, aren’t I?!”

Odile suddenly wished she’d let one of the others did this. She was not suited to soothing breakdowns, not in the way Isabeau was. Maybe Mirabelle would’ve known what to say, the Change belief seemed pretty good with coping with negative feelings, with forgiveness and reforging oneself. They were both good at support, good for healing and building people up, but it only took one look at Odile’s own set of skills to know she was only good for tearing things down…

…

So time to get to the root of it then, wasn’t it? Tear away the tangled feelings and niceties. Bluntness was something she could do.

“You’re upset because we’re taking Bonnie away. After all, they love us, and with us, they can see the world. Money’s basically a nonissue as well. So why stay here at all except for you ?”

“SHUT UP!” Nille bolted forward, the smell of earth filling the air as she swung her fist forward.

Odile stood up and held her hand out, catching it. There was a slight jolt of pain in that arm, but no real harm done. The door swung open and she turned a harsh eye at the poor defender there. “Leave. I can handle this better than you.”

“Uh, yes ma’am.” The door clicked shut once more.

Odile nodded and smirked down at Petronille. “I thought so. You hate us because we’ve kept your sibling from you.”

“So what?! Are you going to tell me I’m stupid too?!”

“Not at all.” She took a step back, lowering her hand. “Because you’ve every right to be angry, but know this. Leave Siffrin be. Leave all of them be. Hate me if you’re going to hate someone. I won’t say they were ignorant, but at the end of the day, I’m the strategist. I knew.

“Every extra day we stayed in Dormont so Siffrin could heal from craft exhaustion, every day we delayed getting to the next town because Mirabelle was overwhelmed by the fame, every day that Bonnie wanted to try cooking something new or Isabeau wanted to look at clothes, every day that my bones were too sore to keep going, I knew that was one more day you’d spend apart from Bonnie. And time and time again, I chose us over you. And when Bonnie asked why we were taking so long, I sat them down and explained it to them too, and I’m the one who said that if they didn’t like it, we could hire someone to escort them home, knowing the whole time they’d refuse.”

She looked at Petronille with no joy in her eyes, but a steely resolve. “And I would do it again. Not to hurt you, but because we needed it. And that’s not fair to you. For that, I apologize.“

Petronille stared through her more than at her, pulling her hat over her face to hide her expression. “It’s not fair.”

“I know.”

“It’s really not.”

Odile nodded.

“And I know I can’t just ask you to forget it all and leave ‘em be, but…” Her breath caught, a stifled sob shaking her shoulders. “Bonnie’s all I’ve got.”

“I know. And that’s not fair either, is it?”

Petronille sniffled, backing off to sit on the bed, legs pulled into her chest. Tear drops slid down her knees. “No! It’s crabbing not!” She angrily wiped at her tears, though more came to replace them just as fast. A few moments passed and she gave up trying, just letting the tears fall. “… when I was around Bonnie’s age, our mom got sick. No one could help her. After- after she passed, Dad changed. It hurt, but all I could think about was getting Bonnie out of there…

“They’ve been the only thing that’s kept me going all this time, y’know? I know it’s too much to put on them, but…”

Odile nodded, but truly wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe it was best to just let her cry.

“Heh. They’ve saved me too, y’know? There was a whole thing a few years back, I got bad. Feeding myself didn’t seem worth it bad. They started helping with cooking though, and most of what they made was crab, but they looked so happy when I ate it that I kept choking it down…” She sighed, burying her face in her knees. “Pathetic, isn’t it? Need a kid to tell me to eat.”

“It’s not pathetic to need help,” Odile said. “You stepped up in a situation you shouldn’t have had to, and the fact that you recognize you were leaning too much on them is a good sign. Your parents failed you, and that’s not your fault.”

“… I hope so.”

“I know it.”

They say in relative silence for a while after. It made Odile feel a bit antsy, if she was honest. Should she be trying to comfort the other girl? Tell about her own absent mother? Say something about Bonnie? Urgh, she wasn’t good at this part-

“Hey. Thanks for coming to talk with me, but can you go now? I need some time to think. And, uh, tell Bonnie and Siffrin I’m sorry. I mean, I’ll tell them myself later, but get the feeling they don’t wanna see me right now.”

Odile stood up and nodded. “I’ll pass along the message.” She walked to the door, pausing as she reached out for the knob. “And for the record, I think they’ll understand, if you’ll let them.”

She couldn’t see if Petronille answered or not, just leaving out the door. Despite the heaviness of the conversation, it felt as though a weight lifted as she walked out.

Chapter Text

Nille was released from holding soon enough after Odile cleared things up with the defenders. By the next day she was informed that they’d collectively agreed not to pursue anything, though she was asked to stay away from the infirmary for the time being.

The next few days felt surreally lonely. Bonnie had seemingly disappeared once more along with all their “friends”-

Friends. No air-quotes needed, though it still felt weird.

Bonnie had seemingly disappeared, so had everyone else, and logically she knew that they were likely staying at the infirmary and/or avoiding her (which she couldn’t blame them, if they were), but it still felt all too much like they’d grabbed Bonnie and just left. Maybe they had, for all she knew.

It felt like torture to go into work the next few days at the Salty Spoon and put on a smile, even worse when the people started asking questions. Of course they’d heard, Bambouche was a small port town and the saviors were involved. It was about fifty-fifty whether that meant she’d get extra tips or totally snubbed. Then to go home to a tiny house that suddenly felt cavernous, well…

She forced food down when she could stomach it, but wasn’t hungry. It was fine. Saved money anyways.

It was day, what? Five? Six? It blurred together, but five sounded about right.

It was day five since Odile came to talk to her when she came home and was met with something more than just dust and silence. The smell of something frying wafted through the small house. It was enough to make her stomach roar. Oil popping and sizzling was accompanied by an achingly familiar voice making up a nonsense song on the spot:

Bonnie was home.

Nille sprinted to the kitchen, vision blurring as she saw them on their little step stool, throwing rice and veggies into a wok as fish fried in a pan beside them. They were smiling as they tossed a bit more seasoning on top. It was them! It was really them! They were back! They hadn’t left her!

“BONNIE!”

They jumped nearly a foot in the air, but strong hands came and caught them before she could. Isabeau was there too, apparently, but Bonnie! She ran over to hug them, but they scooted away.

“… hey Nille.”

Her heart sunk. They didn’t sound particularly happy. No, of course not, why would they be? She was the crab, and they’d been alone with their friends for however long, no wonder they were still mad.

“… are you, um, okay?” She said.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just… disappeared. For a few days.”

“So?”

Isabeau sighed. “Bonnie, be nice, your sister’s just worried.” He looked over to Nille. “Sorry about disappearing. Sif, Mira, and Bonnie ended up getting sick for a few days.“

Nille’s eyes widened. “What?” She looked at Bonnie, reaching out to check them over and-

Bonnie pushed her away. “I’m fine! It was just, like, a baby cold!”

Isabeau nodded. “More or less, yeah. The doctors said it was probably just some opportunistic disease or something, the kind of thing that usually doesn’t hurt us, but after everything that happened, Sif’s immune system wasn’t exactly in fighting form, or Mirabelle’s for that matter, and given that Bonnie decided to be their personal stuffed animal-“

“Don’t say it like that!” Bonnie huffed.

“Aaaaw, but it was so cute!”

“No it wasn’t! I was just making sure Stupidfrin was okay!”

“Adorable.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“You care about them! It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s precious! The cutest!”

“I will start over dinner just to hit you with the wok. And you will get covered in fish and smell like fish forever, and then I will also put hot peppers in the veggies.”

Isabeau raised his hands in surrender and took a few steps back. “Alright, alright, you win. Alas, out smarted by a preteen.”

“Hehe, yeah. ‘Cause I’m smarter than you, Za!”

Isabeau looked her way, “Hey, I’m being bullied by your sibling, please advise?”

Nille snorted despite herself. This was weirdly cute, actually. Plus it was funny to see a giant man get bullied by a preteen. “You should put peppers in the veggies anyways.”

“YEAH!!!” Bonnie cheered, looking around.

“I’ve been double teamed???” Isabeau said with exaggerated horror.

“Well duh. My sister will always pick me over stinky adults! Right sis?”

“You know it!” She held out her hand in a little fist and Bonnie fist-bumped her back.

“… wait, I’m still mad at you,” they said after, huffing as they went back to stir frying the veggies.

Her heart sunk, but she nodded. “Yeah, that’s- that’s fair.”

“… I don’t hate you. I’m just mad, okay? But, like, really mad.”

It hurt, but, “I can live with that.”

“No, you can’t.”

“I can’t?”

“No, you’re gonna explode forever.”

“Don’t think explosions work that way.”

“Too bad!” They huffed, trying to fight to keep a smile off their face. “Hmph. Stop making me laugh when I’m mad at you! Go away! But, um, try this first.” They grabbed a spoon and scooped some of the fried rice onto it. With the utmost seriousness, they held it out to her.

Her stomach didn’t growl so much as roared the second food was in front of her face. She took a bite and it was delectable as could be. Salty, umami, a hint of sweet, and warm all the way down. Delicious~ Wait oops she ate that way too fast and her stomach was still complaining.

“… did you forget to eat again? You gotta eat stuff, you crab!” Bonnie said. “Za, stir this a sec.”

“Can do.”

Bonnie hopped down and went over to grab their little backpack, sticking their hands in and fishing around. “Here.” They shoved a stack of pastries in her hands. “Za got us stuff from that Boulangerie, but Frin hates croissants so I had to hide ‘em. They’re your appetiters.”

“Appetizers,” Isabeau said.

“That’s what I said.”

Nille looked at the pile of somewhat stale croissants now in her arms. It wasn’t exactly home cooking, but it was still from Bonnie.

“… thanks sib.”

“Yeah, well, whatever… just eat ‘em, ‘kay?” They went back to the step stool. “Za, make her go away.”

“This is her house???”

“Don’t care. Chef cooker orders.”

“You don’t haveta. I’ll leave…” Nille said. “Or, uh, hang out in the living room.”

Bonnie nodded, deeming this acceptable. She left…

And Isabeau followed?

“Hey, are you okay?” Isabeau asked.

Nille shrugged, stuffing some croissant in her mouth as she tried to figure out how to answer that. “I’m just glad they’re still around.”

“You didn’t think we’d just leave, did you?”

“I mean, maybe? You guys get along fine without me, and figured you all hated me.”

He reached out a hand, but… “Wait, right. Bonnie said you’re like Sif. Gotta, uh, warn you before I touch. So, like, do you need a hug? Because you seem like you need a hug.”

“… not from you.” From Bonnie, maybe, but not him. Not now.

He just nodded, taking a step back. “Alright. Tell me if that changes though! I give great hugs!” He flexed his muscles.

Nille rolled her eyes. “Sure, big boy.” She went to sit on the little couch, putting another croissant in her mouth. It was stale, but still flaky. “… for the record, I, uh… would only like a Bonnie hug right now. Nothing against you, more, just…”

“I get it. They’re your sibling, I’m just some guy.”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a bit as Nille filled her aching stomach with buttery bread. Sure, it was technically leftovers, something unwanted, but Bonnie kept it for her (at least she hopes for her) instead of throwing it out. That counts for something, right?

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No…”

“You’re crying though?”

Was she? Oh, so she was.

“… Bonnie’s still mad at me. I mean, they’ve always had a temper, but it’s never lasted more than, like, a day or two, y’know? Least not towards me…”

Isabeau nodded along. “If it makes you feel any better, I think Siffrin’s just a sore subject with them, what with the eye and all… He’s, uh, not a very lucky person.”

“So I kicked someone when they’re down, lovely.”

“You didn’t know…”

An awkward lull came down between them, neither knowing what to say. The croissants only filled the silence so long before the small pile was eaten.

“… so Siffrin’s coming over again?” Nille said.

“If that’s okay? Figured they’d appreciate a bed that isn’t in the infirmary and some home cooked food.”

“Do you, like, need me to leave?”

“No??? This is your house???”

“I mean, he probably hates me-“

“Hey. No. Stop that.” Isabeau looked at her more seriously than she thought he could manage. “He doesn’t hate you, and this isn’t beyond salvaging. I don’t know all of what happened, but from what Odile told us, you were just trying to protect Bonnie. Trust me, if anyone is going to understand that, it’s Siffrin.”

Would he though? She wasn’t sure which idea she hated more, the idea that he would still hate her despite that, or the idea that he was the kind of person who’d accept it in stride, and she’d hurt him.

“… look, it’s going to be awkward, probably painful. But you two kind of have to talk about this,” Isabeau said. She must’ve looked as uncertain about that as she felt, since he followed it up by saying, “If not for your sake or his, then for Bonnie? They care a lot about both of you, y’know? They don’t want you fighting.”

Crab, she couldn’t say no to that. “I’ll try. For Bonnie.”

Chapter Text

Nille shuffled about nervously as people filtered into the house. She’d been warned, she knew they were coming, but…

“Good to see you again, Nille,” Mirabelle said, looking and sounding at least as anxious as Nille herself.

“Likewise.”

“… so… ocean, huh?”

“Yep. Lived by it a long time. It’s salty.”

The two alternated between staring at each other and looking anywhere else until Odile came over and sighed, “Gems alive, do I need to get one of the boys to bring out the bad jokes? It might be preferable to this.”

“Oh? Did I hear you right? You want to be assalted by my puns~?” Siffrin said.

Mirabelle whipped around. “… that was so bad.”

“You’re trying not to laugh.”

“It was staged, wasn’t it? That doesn’t count!” Nille said, crossing her arms and trying not to break into laughter herself. It wasn’t even that funny! But the sheer whiplash was enough to almost get a smile out of her…

Until she fully processed that Siffrin was here.

“Oh please, we could not have assumed you two would bring up the ocean like it was the weather,” Odile said. “Though yes, I did legitimately believe a terrible pun would be better than… whatever that was.”

“Hey hey hey. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing! It just waved!” Siffrin said, snickering at his own joke that she had heard a million times.

Isabeau laughed loud enough to be heard over Bonnie. Bonnie who was shouting with all the frustration of someone who had also heard that a joke a million times.

“FRIN! NO MORE OCEAN JOKES! OR I’LL PUT PINEAPPLE ON DESSERT SO YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY!”

“You’re bluffing.” Siffrin said, walking towards them. “We don’t even have pineapple.”

“I will buy some.”

“Right now?”

“RIGHT NOW!”

“Hmmm… nah. I don’t think you will. You loooooove me~” Siffrin said, picking them up from behind to snuggle them.

“Yes, but QUIT IT!” they said, not even making a show of fighting and just pouting at him with their little arms crossed.

Something ached deep in Nile’s heart seeing Siffrin be allowed to do that after Bonnie flinched away from her earlier.

Siffrin chuckled and released Bonnie who went right back to telling Isabeau how to set the table as they got a head start on dessert, measuring out dry ingredients and putting it all in a bowl. Odile started jokingly reminding them to wash their hands only for Siffrin to remind her who the ‘Chef Cooker’ was—a phrase that got a few chuckles, maybe some kind of inside joke?—and Mirabelle to end up the one actually washing her own hands. The area was cramped, but they moved around each other seamlessly, trading jokes and quips back and forth…

It felt so much like the first day they came to her house, only worse because Bonnie was over there with them, and she was standing alone by the couch. It was funny how this was her house, but somehow she felt like the one intruding. She choked down the urge to snap her teeth at them as well as the urge to leave. This was her home, but they were Bonnie’s friends! So they were allowed. They had to be allowed, because clearly the lines were drawn, and Bonnie chose them-

“Hey, are you coming for dinner?” Isabeau said. He held an open hand out to her, gesturing towards the overly-cramped dining room table with his head.

“… not hungry,” she mumbled. And somehow that was the truth. Any hunger had shied away from the curdling pit in her stomach.

“You sure?” Isabeau said. “I mean, it’d be nice to at least sit down, right? Chat with everyone after…”

“I don’t think anyone else wants to talk to me, so I’ll spare you the awkwardness.” She tried to run for the door, but-

Something clamped down on her wrist. She gasped, pulling away hard enough to bowl it into her and-

“Crab! Bonnie, are you okay?!”

“I’m fine! I’m not a baby, not gonna break if I bump into something.” Bonnie huffed, pushing her away just enough to get up before taking her wrist again, more gently this time. “But you’re not crabbing leaving! You’ve gotta say sorry to Frin or- or…” They shook, hand a bit too tight around her as the other curled in a fist. “IF YOU DON’T SAY SORRY I’LL NEVER CRABBING FORGIVE YOU!”

“Bonbon, it’s fine!” Siffrin said, rushing over. “I understand, she doesn’t have to-“

“YES SHE DOES! We told her to stop and she didn’t, and you almost blinding DIED! And that’s BAD Frin! You dying is bad! So she has to at LEAST say sorry!”

“I’m with Boniface on this one. An apology at very least is earned, but I’m not sure one under duress will mean anything,” Odile said.

“… do you two need some space?” Mirabelle said. “We can step outside if you need. But I agree. We probably all need to, um, t-talk about what happened, but you two especially.”

“And sorry, but we aren’t leaving you two alone together until things have cooled down,” Isabeau said. “We’ll back off a bit, but would rather be close by just in case.”

Nille sighed. “Yeah, no, that’s… fair.” They didn’t trust her, but why would they? She hated this. “But won’t the food get cold?”

“Oh please. One, that’s not enough to stop us, two, you don’t go traveling by foot through winter without something to keep food warm,” Odile said, pulling from someone’s backpack what looked like if someone made mittens for bowls.

“Why were you traveling by foot through winter?” There HAD to be other options.

“We largely weren’t, which is part of why we took so long…” Mirabelle said.

“Better safe than frostbitten!” Isabeau chirped.

“I got to try so many kinds of hot cocoa!” Bonnie added.

Siffrin shrugged with a little smirk, sticking his tongue out at the rest, “It’s all the same to me~”

“Frin got sunburnt in winter,” Bonnie said.

“It’s not my fault! Winter’s only supposed to have, like, four hours of sun or something! And that place had glass everywhere,” Siffrin huffed.

The others giggled, calling him cute and teasing him about being so pale, and Nille just sat there, trying to bite back tears. “Sounds like you all had fun.”

The venom must’ve snuck into her voice despite her best efforts as the laughter stopped, everyone looking at her. They all looked like they wanted to say something, but Siffrin was fastest, “Sorry. You probably don’t want to hear about the stuff we did without you.”

“It’s fine, it’s…” she shifted in place, digging her fingernails into her arms. “It’s whatever. They’re safe, you’re all happy, it’s whatever.”

“It’s clearly not?” Isabeau said.

“It’s fine,” Nille hissed. “Just eat already. I’m not hungry.” She didn’t let them get another word in edgewise, just headed towards the door.

“NILLE! NILLE YOU CRAB! COME BACK!” Bonnie shouted. Loud footsteps were cut off by the door slamming behind her.

Her heart raced, eyes stinging and world blurry as she grit her teeth. She brought her own hat in front of her face to muffle a scream of sheer frustration. She’d messed up again. She was supposed to apologize, and instead she did this. Great. Any chance she had was gone, wasn’t it? Any chance of making things right. Stupid, stupid, why did she do that? Why is she out here, standing on the front porch? Why couldn’t she just sit down, shut up, and take the food? Why did they have to come at all? Why did they have to stay?

Why did she ever tell Bonnie to leave in the first place?!

They would’ve been fine if she didn’t tell them to run! It could’ve just been a long dream in each other’s arms. They would have been safe, they would have been together. Instead, she tried to help them, but messed up everything and put them in danger and someone else had to get them out. She could blame the rest of the group as much as she wanted, but in the end, it was her fault, wasn’t it? They listened to her and it could have killed them-

Something touched her.

Nille yelped, swinging around. Her fist met something hard. She ran a few feet back before reality caught up with her and it sunk in that she’d just punched Siffrin in the face.

“Crab! Oh crab oh crab I’m so sorry-!”

“It’s fine! It’s fine, really. It barely hurt,” Siffrin said.

“Are you sure? I can get you, like, an icepack or potion or-”

“It’s already healed,” he said. “Sorry, I know you don’t like surprise touch either, but it didn’t seem like you could hear me.”

She nodded, not sure what to say. Why… “Why are you even out here?”

“Huh?”

“You already crabbing won.”

He blinked dumbly. “Won? Won what?”

“Bonnie!” she said, her voice breaking. Crab, what was she doing? What was she saying? Why couldn’t she stop? “Have you seen the way they look at you? Apparently they’ve been hanging off you like a puppy, and they won’t even let me touch them! You took them on a crabbing adventure, they’re a savior now, and- and…” Her vision blurred over. She held her hands in front of her chest, curled up as though that could protect her already-broken heart. “And they don’t need me anymore. They don’t need me, don’t want me, and- and- and what do I even crabbing do now?! They’re everything to me, you- you…!” There weren’t words for how mad she was, for how hurt she was…

For how scared she was.

And Siffrin just laughed.

“WHAT’S SO CRABBING FUNNY?!”

“Sorry, sorry!” He held his hands up placatingly, taking a step back. “That’s bad, I, um, know that’s bad. I shouldn’t have laughed. It’s just…” he gave a watery smile. “I didn’t realize we were so alike.”

“… what?”

“You’re just scared of being alone too, aren’t you?” He held an open hand out to her. “I get it.”

She looked at it uncertainly, still holding her own hands to her chest. “… you don’t get it. They’re all I have. It’s always been me and them, and- and I know. I know it isn’t healthy, but you don’t know what it’s like. Losing everything.”

“I do, Nille, I do.” He took a step closer, hand still out. “Wanna hear a little story?”

Hesitantly, she reached out, her fingers lacing with his. He pulled her gently to the porch, sitting down and patting the space next to him. She took it, keeping just enough space that they weren’t touching each other.

Siffrin took a deep breath, looking out into the setting sun against the water. “I know Odile’s told you some of it, but despite how big of a deal she made of it, she never told you about the loops, did she?”

“Loops?”

“Infinite school, as Bonbon puts it.”

That rung a bell. “I think they mentioned it once, maybe? Didn’t get much detail.”

“That’s fine. It’s… it’s… Clocktower, sleepover— stars blind it.” He took a deep breath, closing his eye as he did so. “Sorry. It’s… a lot to talk about. Even now. Quite literally hard for me to speak about, since I usually end up blinding scripting!”

“Scripting?”

“That’s, um, what we call it. When my words get stuck.” He took another exaggerated breath. “I, um, rehearsed this part, maybe? Which is maybe not ideal all things considered, but I don’t know if I could get through this if I didn’t. So can I just talk for a minute?”

“Um, sure?”

“Thank you.” One last breath. In and out. He gazed out to sea. “When Mira and the gang found me, I’ll admit, I didn’t really have a reason to join them other than having nothing better to do. That pretty much described my whole life, honestly. No goal, no family or friends, just existing. A series of barely connected experiences and skills with no context.” He stared at his own gloved hands. “It wasn’t the worst, but I couldn’t go back.” His head turned back to the sky. For a moment, the only sound was the waves. Then he spoke again, “That journey was the happiest I could ever remember being. I had something to work towards, I had people to watch my back, and before I knew it, I had friends. Suddenly, I wasn’t alive just because the alternative was terrifying, I actually wanted to! I would rather die than lose them…

“And because of a wish I made, I did. I died a lot.” He gulped audibly. “I… Let’s talk about something- stars. Sorry.” His hands shook, breath coming shorter, shallower.

“Hey, you okay?” She reached a hand out slowly before stopping, remembering he didn’t like to be surprised either.

He took hers in his, holding firmly, but not too tight. “Thank you.” He took another deep breath or two. “Sorry.”

She gave his hand a little squeeze and he returned it.

“Anyways,” he said. “Sorry, I’ll, uh… skip some details, or I’m going to panic and then we’ll get even less said.” He chuckled bitterly. “But long story short, I wanted to stay with them so badly that I got us stuck in a time loop even long after we killed the king. I kept doing it over and over and over, unable to just say it-” his breath caught, eye scrunched close in something like pain.

Hadn’t she…?

Oh. Oh crab. Her heart sunk in her chest. “… that’s why you panicked, huh. Between, well, wherever you’re from and that phrase?”

Siffrin nodded. “Yeah. Bad wording.”

“You need a minute?”

“Nope! Erm, maybe. But I want to! I want to blinding say- blinding explain.” He looked so desperate, almost near tears himself. The way his voice broke tugged on her heartstrings. In that moment, it was hard to believe she was so suspicious of him.

“I think I get it,” she said. “I mean, I don’t, but I do? Not sure what loops are still or how you broke them, but you love them so much it hurts. Love them so much you’d get yourself hurt over and over until you can’t take anymore. Love them so much you snap.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” he said, laughing even as a tear ran down his face. “Stars, you don’t even know.”

She chuckled despite herself, despite the ache still in her chest. “Well, guess you’ll have to stick around and tell me more.”

“Can we?” he said. “You don’t… you don’t hate me?”

Did she? Just hours before, she hated herself because the answer was yes, but…

“No,” she said. “I was just…” Her fingers tightened some around his. “I was so scared you’d take Bonnie away again.”

“Hah! Me too…” he said. “We- I probably dragged my feet more than I should’ve. I thought once we got here you’d say no.”

“We really just both went and made everything worse, huh.”

“Yep.”

“… I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

She turned slightly, opening her arms. “You, uh, need a hug? I get if not, but-”

He dove in, wrapping his arms around her. It was perfect, firm and close, but not too tight. “Heh… you do know how to hug…”

They stayed like that for a while, just listening to the waves and letting the tension of the week melt away. Was it really this simple? Was he really just as scared as she was this whole time? Had she been that wrong? Sure, maybe she was right that something was wrong with him, but this felt like an entirely different person than the one she’d feared.

“… you’re not our dad.” Something inside of her twisted and snapped, tears finally falling down. She rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m so crabbing sorry! It just- I just…” She gulped some air, trying to find the words. His hand came to her back, rubbing up and down in a soothing motion she hadn’t felt since her mom died. “I was so scared. You came out of nowhere with all these secrets and presents and it felt too much like something that happened before. I just- please, I just wanted to protect them.”

“I believe you,” he said. “From what snippets I’ve heard from Bonnie, well…” He sighed, threading fingers through her hair. “Your family wasn’t very good to you.” It was more statement than question. “You did good, okay? Bonnie is sweet and strong and happy. And they love you so much. Enough that when I wished on the favor tree, it was that I’d be there to see you two together again. I’m glad they’ve had someone to take care of them, and sorry you didn’t.”

Whatever walls she had left shattered and she sobbed into their shoulder. They quietly cried back, both of them rocking each other like the parents neither of them had anymore. Who knew how long they were like that, but the sun had started to kiss the waves by the time they finally parted. Siffrin stood up first, offering a hand to her yet again. “C’mon, want to have dinner with us?”

Before she could say anything, her stomach growled audibly. He chuckled, and she just took his hand, both walking in. It shouldn’t have surprised her as much as it did that everyone was hovering awkwardly in the living room, Isabeau specifically failing to hide that he’d been watching through the window.

Bonnie, on the other hand, didn’t even pretend. They stared at both Nille and Siffrin as the pair walked in, hand in hand. Their face was streaked with tears. “Does this mean you’re done fighting now?”

Siffrin and Nille looked to each other and nodded. Nille said, “Yeah, I think we worked some stuff out.”

“Good! I’m gonna hug you now.” That was as much warning as they got before they launched themselves hard enough to almost knock both of them over, holding tight as their little arms could manage. Sticky wetness smeared their clothes, but Siffrin didn’t seem to mind any more than she did. They each wrapped an arm around them in a big group hug, hats all knocked aside from sheer affection.

Bonnie eventually pulled back and sniffled before smiling. “Good! You’re not gonna be fighting while we’re traveling, whenever that is!”

“Wait what?” Nille said.

“Dile, did you forget to invite her?” Bonnie said.

What.

“I figured that as leader of the group, Mirabelle was handling that,” Odile said.

Huh.

Mirabelle jolted from her place on the couch. “O-Oh! Was I supposed to? Oh no, I thought Isabeau was! He’s always been better at this part than me…”

Wait.

“I? Thought? Bonnie was? They’re your sibling!” Isabeau said.

What was happening???

Everyone looked to Siffrin. Odile in particular smirked as she said, “Well, as the person apparently left out of this particular loop, I suppose that makes you the tie-breaker, Siffrin.”

“Nooooo! Why am I always the tie breaker?” Siffrin moaned.           

“Poor Siffrin! Cursed to break ties,” Mirabelle said teasingly. “I mean, scissors craft is good for that! Or, um… ropes… hmm. That was bad, and I’m sorry.

Siffrin snorted. “Well, maybe for that I’ll say that you should’ve been!”

“What? Noooooo!”

Siffrin snickered. “Unfortunately, um, I don’t quite count, actually, since I??? Meant to? But got nervous and couldn’t figure out how to ask.”

“A self contained loop! Siffrin! You should know better!” Mirabelle said.

“Yeah, well…” he shrugged, face darkening. He turned over to Nille, holding a hand out to her, “Well, I guess consider this an open invitation from everyone then since we are all terrible at organization. I don’t think we’ll be leaving immediately, but do you want to travel with us?”

Nille looked around at the too-small house with the now broken door, sparsely decorated. It wasn’t much, but she’d earned it tooth and nail…

Then she looked at Bonnie and the others who loved them, making this house feel more like a home than it ever had. It was a no brainer, really.

“I’d love to!” she said with a grin, taking his hand and shaking it.

“WOOOOO! WE’RE DONE FIGHTING AND NILLE IS COMING WITH US!” Bonnie cheered, throwing their arms in the air. “FOOD TIME! AND!!! I’m making pineapple upside down cake but with strawberries because Frin can’t have pineapple.”

“Isn’t that just strawberry upside down cake?” Nille said.

“YES!!! Now c’mon!” They dragged her over to the cramped table, heaping some much-missed food onto her plate. Turns out they couldn’t all fit there anyways, instead everyone taking up whatever spaces they could. Bonnie sat between her and Siffrin. It was a bit squished, but turned out there was space for both of them to be with Bonnie after all.