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Chapter Text

Kaeya had gone to sleep that night beyond tipsy. The celebrations for his eighteenth birthday meant he was finally of legal drinking age in Mondstadt. Not to say that had ever stopped him and his friends before. He could recall countless nights where he and his brother would throw parties while their father was out of town on business. It did quite help that their father was the CEO of Dawn Winery, the top selling company when it came to alcohol in Mondstadt and their neighboring nations.

His birthday celebration had been lacking in Kaeya’s opinion, his driven firefighter brother had been called in for a shift earlier that day, and Diluc Ragnvindr never said no to more work. Kaeya supposed his brother’s ambition for the chair of Fire Captain was a good thing. Despite their two year age gap, the two found themselves rather close. Growing up they shared everything with each other, and when Diluc had been accepted into the Academy straight out of high school, Kaeya had been thrilled for him. But as time went on, Diluc picked up more and more shifts. The two saw each other less and less as Diluc became engrossed in his work. Saving people had become his greatest ambition, and it didn’t help that a year after his acceptance to the Academy, their childhood friend, Jean, had followed suit.

Kaeya had grown close with the other firefighters at the station, and often envied Diluc’s dedication to this newfound family. Diluc spent so much time at the firehouse, which made their father beyond proud, glad his son had found his calling so early in life. 

But Kaeya grew lonely.

In his sleep, Kaeya dreamt of his brother coming home, of his brother wishing him a happy birthday and spending the day drinking with him now that they both had the day off. He dreamt of blowing out candles on pancakes stacked higher than he thought possible, of unwrapping gifts with Jean by Diluc’s side. He dreamed of rushing into a burning building with his brother, laughing and bantering back and forth as they saved people, the chirping of a fire alarm growing louder and louder.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Kaeya shot up out of bed, coughing. It was hard to breathe. The chirping wasn’t from his dream, and there was a heavy pounding on his door.

“Kaeya! Kaeya, open the door!” Crepus’s voice called between coughs, knocks growing more desperate as time passed. 

Kaeya staggered out of bed, his head throbbing and he scrambled for the door.

The fire raging outside of the door was impossibly bright as his father ducked inside. Kaeya slammed the door closed, in an attempt to keep the growing flames out of his room. 

“Dad- Dad what’s happening.” Kaeya tugged on his father’s arm, fear growing in his chest as the smoke crept through the cracks in the door. Crepus’s breathing was labored, chest heaving as he gasped for breath. “Dad, we need to get out of here- Come on dad-”

Kaeya winced when his hand touched the doorknob, it was red hot from the fire raging outside his door. He frantically glanced around, the only window in the room was high and small, not big enough to fit either of the men through it. 

“Son… it’ll be okay…” Crepus dragged Kaeya away from the door, to the farthest corner of the wall. He shielded his son’s body from the flames now licking at the walls of the room, a solemn look on his face. They had no escape, no way out of this fire. The roar of the fire would hide their screams if they had tried to call for help.

They were trapped.

Kaeya took shaky breaths, smoke filling his lungs as he watched the flames eat away at the posters he had so delicately hung on his walls. The fire roared as it consumed everything in its path, and Kaeya’s eyes locked on the framed photo on his wall, a photograph of a younger Diluc embracing Kaeya, the two laughing as their father took the photo, soon the flames covered it too, the glass pane shattering from the heat.

This was the end.

Kaeya would never get to say goodbye to his brother, he would never get to find out what he wanted to do past high school, he wouldn’t get to see Christmas, or prom, or even his graduation.

He would never get to say goodbye. He would die, being held by his father.

There was a loud noise just to Kaeya’s left. The wall shook, and Kaeya was sure that the house was collapsing on them. But when he looked up, debris now scattered everywhere around him, he saw a familiar face.

“Varka!” Kaeya called, breaking free of his Father’s embrace, relieved to see his brother’s captain standing in the hole in his wall.

“Hey kid, let’s get you out of here-” Varka took Kaeya’s hand, pulling him through the hole in the wall. 

“Come on dad!” Kaeya turned back to his father, expecting to find Crepus up and ready to escape. But instead he found his father unconscious, collapsed on the floor where Kaeya had just been. “Dad!”

“Albedo! We need you in here-” Varka’s voice commanded, and Kaeya noted the man that appeared behind Varka. 

“On it.” Albedo nodded as he ducked into Kaeya’s room. Kaeya knew that voice and name, Albedo was a new recruit, older than Diluc but not quite as capable. 

Where on earth was Diluc anyway?

As far as Kaeya knew, Diluc was always the first to rush in, dangerous or not, his brother was headstrong and compassionate. There was no way he wouldn’t be here, by his captain’s side. 

Before Kaeya could ask any questions, Varka began to tug him out of the house, through the guest room that was just beginning to catch fire. But Kaeya didn’t want to leave. He kept staring back at the hole in the wall, waiting for Albedo and his father to emerge. He tugged back against Varka’s grip, shouting and screaming for his father as he was dragged further and further out of sight. 

They rounded a corner and Kaeya lost sight of the hole completely, there was no telling what was happening to his father now.

“Varka, let me go! I can’t leave him!” Kaeya pleaded with the fire captain, but the man just shook his head, dragging him through the house as beams collapsed around them.

“My priority is getting you out of here, kid.” Varka shook his head again, picking up Kaeya with ease. “Albedo will do what he can for your dad, but the best thing we can do to keep your dad safe is keep you safe.”

Kaeya could feel the tears streaming down his face as he watched his house go up in flames behind him.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Diluc! Cap told you to stay in the engine!” Jean grabbed Diluc’s arm, stopping him as he began gearing up.

“It’s been 10 minutes and the fire’s everywhere. I have to go in there.”

“You’re too close to this, Luc! Let Varka and Albedo handle this.” Jean refused to let go of Diluc’s arm, tugging him back towards the engine. But no matter how hard she pulled him away, he was determined. “Diluc Ragnvindr, listen to me! You are not going into that building!”

“ I have to help. Barbatos knows the probie can’t do shit-” Diluc tugged his arm out of Jean’s grasp, earning a frustrated grunt from Jean.

Before Diluc could finish suiting up, however, Varka emerged from the back of the house, carrying a furious Kaeya. The boy was coughing and crying as he pounded his fists against the fire captain’s back.

“You have to- to let me back in there!” Kayea shouted. “I can’t just leave him!”

Diluc’s heart sank.

His brother was fine, he was in one piece and Jean would be tending to him soon, getting him on oxygen and into the ambulance. 

But his father. His kind, loving father was still inside. Trapped in the blaze without either son by his side. 

“Jean. Prep him for transfer. The probie should be out soon with the other victim.” Varka barked orders at the girl, who nodded shakily in response. Leaning towards his radio, Varka removed his helmet. “Dispatch, this is Captain 118 requesting an additional RA unit to 616 Heritage Way.”

“Copy, Captain 118, RA 136 is fifteen minutes out.” The woman on the other end of the radio spoke calmly, but Diluc felt no sense of calm. His brother was alright. but his father .

Crépus and Kaeya were Diluc’s world. In Diluc's mind, there was nothing more important than his brother and father. That was, aside from Jean Gunnhildr, but in that moment she too vanished to the background. Nothing in the world mattered more than his family, the people around him.

He had been an idiot to take the shift, on his brother’s birthday of all days. Kaeya was fine now, but a million and one different things could go wrong in transit. What if he developed acute respiratory distress syndrome or a bronchiolar spasm? What if Jean had to intubate him on the field? Jean was a capable paramedic for her youth, but she had never had to treat a friend before.

Kaeya could be fine one second and gone the next.

Diluc’s spiraling was cut off abruptly as Albedo came staggering out of the building, the mansion’s structure crumbling behind him.

“Jean! Grab the life pack!” Albedo was carrying the limp form of Crepus Ragnvindr, a man much larger than him. “He’s gone into cardiac arrest! Starting compressions.”

Once the two were a safe distance from the burning manor, Albedo lowered Crepus to the floor. 

One.

Two.

Three.

Jean made her way over to the two, life pack in hand.

Ten.

Eleven

Twelve.

Albedo was growing more desperate as Jean hooked up the man to the machine. 

Twenty.

Twenty-one.

Twenty-two.

There was no pulse, oxygen levels dropping rapidly.

Twenty-eight

Twenty-nine.

Thirty.

“Administering shock, clear!” Jean called and Albedo leaned away from the unconscious form of Crepus. The man’s body lurched, but no heartbeat returned. 

“Restarting compressions.” Albedo mumbled, his hands trembling.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Kaeya watched in horror as his father’s body lurched for the umpteenth time, heartbeat not returning no matter the voltage of the shock. Albedo and Jean grew more and more frantic as time went by, tears welling in their eyes.

“Probie… Gunnhildr… that’s enough.” Varka’s hand rested on Kaeya’s shoulder as he spoke, the boy’s body wracked with sobs. “You're just scaring the kid… Jean, as a paramedic, you need to know when to call it…”

“We’re not supposed to call it on the field unless we have been administering CPR for twenty minutes. If we load him into the ambulance-”

“We won’t make it to St. Barbatos in less than five. It’s time to call it, Jean.”

“I’m not calling it until we make it to the hospital!” Jean sobbed, continuing compressions while Albedo sat stunned by her side. “Albedo. Prep to administer shock.”

“But Cap said-”

“Do I look like I give a fuck ?” 

“Paramedic Gunnhildr. As your Captain, I’m telling you to call it.”

Kaeya didn’t understand half the words that were being thrown around him, what he did understand is that his father was dead.

“This is my fault… If he… if he hadn’t come looking for me… he would have made it out…” Kaeya mumbled, staring at his hands.

“Don’t say that, kid… no one can see the future, no one can prevent what they don’t know is coming.” Varka offered, nodding solemnly at Crepus’s lifeless body. “He knew you were safe, and that’s all he needed to know.”

Kaeya blinked his tears away, sniffling.

But then he heard more sobs, sobs that weren’t his own.

“Luc-”

Kaeya’s head swiveled to the source of the crying and found his brother crouched on the ground, trembling as tears spilled down his face.

Chapter Text

Eleven Years Later

Thirty-one was such an odd age to be. Diluc couldn’t remember when his father had been that young, yet to Diluc, thirty-one felt old . His body ached in ways he didn’t know it could and constant exhaustion plagued him day after day. 

He, of course, could blame it on his lifestyle, on running doubles and graveyard shifts, on the exertion of chasing down criminals, and on the toll of watching people’s lives be torn apart in one way or another, without fail. But he much preferred to blame it on his age, rather than his profession.

After all, being a police officer was his passion.

Or at least that’s what he told himself, but even after ten years on the force, he had yet to make sergeant.

He blamed that on the constant offloading of rookies onto him. 

One after the other, the department sent him rookies to train, never allowing him the time to even think about promotion. 

He didn’t always mind the rookies, and some he grew quite fond of.

Like his current ward, Razor Minci.

He didn’t know much about the kid, just that he was twenty-two, and that his mom was a firefighter in the city. Something in Diluc ached when he found that out. That this boy had relation to a local firehouse, and to him, they were probably even family. 

Razor was an odd boy, he didn’t talk much, and when he did, his sentences were brief and choppy. Not that Diluc paid it any mind, he liked it better when the rookies weren’t talkative and didn’t ask too many questions. In that manner, Razor reminded Diluc of himself at the same age, a quiet rookie cop, looking for his place in the world.

Diluc made himself the same breakfast every morning. Two fried eggs and some sausage, if he remembered to buy it from the store on his days off. On the days he went without, he would leave his apartment early to head to the precinct, picking up some fast food along the way.

Well, calling it an apartment would be being modest. The penthouse level of Starfell Apartments was beyond your modern day apartment. With floor to ceiling windows leading to a balcony that looked over Mondstadt city. Off to the south, Diluc had a perfect view of the forests that separated their city from the not-so distant country of Liyue. Beyond those trees lied the city of contracts and its surrounding towns. Diluc had visited there once when he was younger, he appreciated its beauty and culture, but Mondstadt was his home.

Somewhere to the north east was the neighboring country of Snezhnaya, a wretched cold place that Diluc hated very much. There was snow year round, no warmth at all in that place. The people were mean and believed themselves to be the best, a haughty prejudice against outsiders followed their every action. Diluc was glad he had no view of it from his balcony. 

From his loft bedroom, however, he could see the distant peaks of Snezhnaya just off past Brightcrown mountains. It wasn’t a welcome sight, and every morning it reminded him of his foul experience there in his year abroad. 

The penthouse had some spare rooms on the lower floor, as well as a good sized kitchen where Diluc often spent his time off work. He enjoyed cooking, as it was one of his few hobbies. A small thing to keep his mind from wandering to his sorrows. To keep him from thinking of the pain of his past.

Diluc used the thought of breakfast to pull himself out of bed, stretching as he took in the view he hated so much. Though, even with his distaste for the country and its people, he could acknowledge the landscape’s beauty.

Brushing aside his disgust at the thought of Snezhnaya, the red haired man stood, stalking over to his dresser and pulling out some plain shirt, throwing it over his head with a sigh. The shirt was too tight, stretching against his chest, but he didn’t have to wear it long, just until he got to the precinct to change. He sighed at the idea of the attention it might catch.

Diluc Ragnvindr much preferred to remain in the shadows than at the center of attention, unlike many of his coworkers. When he was younger, Diluc would often hide behind his unruly mop of red hair to avoid attention. Of course, that stopped when he had to chop it all off when he became a first responder. And with the attention taken away from his hair, his face now in full view, certain people began to take notice of his more refined features.

That of course, didn’t mean he enjoyed it any more than he did before. 

There was only one person’s opinion he cared about.

And they hadn’t spoken in eleven years. 

Looking at his reflection, Diluc clenched his shaking hands, exhaling a heavy breath. It was his choice not to speak to her. It was none of his business if she had moved on, if she had a family now, or if she had moved away. He shouldn’t care about where Jean was. He had made his bed, and he had to lie in it. Even if looking in the mirror stung, or if letting himself be alone with his thoughts hurt. His thoughts always traced back to her.

‘She’s moved on, Diluc. You have to let her go.’ 

He told himself this often, whenever the pain of the memories stung a little too deep.

Diluc shook away the memories of a happier time, finishing dressing himself and heading down to the kitchen. 

It didn’t take him long to make and eat breakfast, and once he was done, he made his way to the elevator. It came directly up to his living room, not much of a walk, it was convenient when he was tired.

The elevator dinged with its arrival and Diluc stepped inside, absentmindedly typing away on his phone. He didn’t have much use for the thing, in his opinion, but it helped him keep in contact with his coworkers.

Ping!

And one particularly annoying dispatcher.

NEW MESSAGE: 

Mona Megistus

‘Diluc! Your horoscope says you should allow new experiences and open your heart to change!’

Diluc rolled his eyes, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t blocked Mona from his contacts yet. She texted him some idiotic prediction every morning before work and he would politely respond with a thumbs up, or even a short ‘Thank you’. But usually their interactions went little beyond that. He told himself he kept her contact in case she needed to reach him on duty with a non-emergency, but he knew that wasn’t the whole truth.

In all honesty, he couldn’t deny that it was nice to have a friend, someone looking out for him. She always seemed to know when a shift went south, and was there to get drinks with him after a long day(on his tab, of course).

Ping!

NEW MESSAGE:

Mona Megistus

‘There’s a group of dispatchers going out to a bar tonight after your shift! You should join us, that would be a good change. Sucrose is bringing her girlfriend, Rosaria, she works at St. Barbatos. You two might get along with how grumpy you both are!’

Diluc chuckled, a fond smile growing on his face.

Diluc Ragnvindr

‘Maybe next time, Megistus.’

The elevator dinged once again as Diluc made it to the lobby of the building, nodding at the front desk manager as he passed. The lobby was relatively nice, but not flashy. This upscale part of town wasn’t modest most of the time, and Diluc had been glad to find such a promising location without the upturned noses of the wealthy. Though, that probably explained why he managed to be the one in the penthouse.

Diluc wasn’t too wealthy on his own, but his inheritance that he obtained after his father’s death had meant he could buy the penthouse outright and have plenty of money left over for travels abroad. The year he spent traveling Teyvat was one of his least favorite years of his life. The end of the previous year had marked his father’s death, and the end of his career as a firefighter.

Before he knew it, Diluc had made it to the precinct, managing to avoid too many stares from passersby and avoiding quite a bit of traffic on his drive to the heart of the city. 

“Not a bad day…” Diluc mumbled to himself as he stepped through the doors of the precinct.

Inside was chaos as usual. Rowdy criminals who believed they should go free, screaming wives of husbands that had been arrested, women of the night that had been brought in for the infraction, now trying to talk their way out of a fine or jail time. The hubbub of the precinct was welcome to Diluc, it meant he could help, it meant he was of use to his country, of use to his city. 

Some woman dressed in a short skirt and fishnets eyed Diluc hungrily, tilting her head back as if to call him over to her. 

But Diluc paid her no mind, shooting her a scowl before disappearing into the back. He was greeted by coworkers getting off shift, and some other personnel who had arrived early for theirs. Diluc quickly dressed out in the locker room before heading to their lounge, where he found Razor staring intently at his phone.

“You ready for patrol, Rookie?” Diluc stood in front of Razor, who’s glowing face fell red as he rushed to hide his phone from his superior.

“Yes. Sorry.” Razor scrambled up, putting away his phone in his pocket.

“Good. Let’s get going.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Patrol contained nothing of interest that day, the two rode in silence around the town of Springvale, just on the outskirts of the main Mondstadt city. The town was quiet, and they hadn’t had many calls to respond to. Just a couple noise complaints and one drunk and disorderly. By four pm, Diluc was ready to turn in for the day out of sheer boredom.

“Unit 240-I-26, do you copy?” Diluc’s radio crackled to life, jolting Razor awake.

“This is Unit 240-I-26. What’s up?”

“We need you to respond to a welfare check at 1111 Calla Way, Springvale.”

“Unit 240-I-26 in route.” Diluc spoke, nodding to Razor. Razor hesitantly nodded back, starting the GPS tracking to the location. With a shaky breath Razor started the car and began to drive towards the house they had been assigned.

Diluc often let the rookies drive to allow them a chance to get used to the responsibility. Razor had picked it up quicker than most, and on his training shifts Diluc found himself letting the boy drive more and more often than most. 

When the two cops pulled up to the house, they could understand why they had been called for such a thing. The house looked deserted. Overgrown with shingles falling off its roof. One of the windows was boarded up, wood warped from the weather. It was clear that whoever lived here didn’t take much care of their space.

Diluc would have wondered if anyone lived here at all, if it weren’t for a small garden, neatly maintained by the entrance to the house. 

“You can stay in the car for this one, Rookie. Looks like whoever lives here isn’t in great shape. Chances are they’re not even conscious, if alive.”

“I’ll go with.” Razor nodded. “I can handle it.”

“Alright kid. Follow my lead.” Diluc climbed out of the car, waiting as the rookie rounded the unit and joined his side. “Welfare checks normally don’t end up being much interesting, just a nosy neighbor hearing a shouting match but… better be safe than sorry. Don’t take it out but be ready to pull out your weapon if needed. I’ve heard horror stories about welfare checks gone awry. Something about a woman who had killed her date and kidnapped the woman he was cheating on her with. Stuff like that can get messy.”

“Got it.” Razor nodded as the two made their way across the overgrown lawn, hand poised to reach for his gun at the slightest sign of danger.

Diluc sighed as they approached the door, reaching to knock. Before he had managed to contact the door a second time it flung open. He couldn’t hide his surprise when he found a small girl at the door, phone clutched in her hand.

“I thought you were sending firefighters? Why are there police?” The girl whined at the phone.

“I am sending firefighters sweetie. Diona, can you tell me what the police officers look like?” Mona’s voice echoed from the phone.

Diluc felt a sense of dread fall over him as he spoke. “Megistus. It’s Officers Ragnvinger and Minci. We got a call for a welfare check to this address.”

“Welfare check?” The little girl– Diona– raised an eyebrow. “Miss Mona what does that mean?”

“It means one of your neighbors noticed something was up and asked the police officers to come check on you.” Mona reassured the girl, who nodded. “They’re going to stay with you until the paramedics get here, okay Diona? The 118 should be there any minute now-”

“The 118-” Diluc froze at the mention of the firehouse, his dread deepening as he heard the sirens approaching. 

“I can hear them, Miss Mona! Thank you!” The little girl chirped, running out front where the ambulance and engine were approaching.

“Diluc– Everything okay?” Razor mumbled, noticing how on edge his superior was.

“We should go, we’re not required to be here any longer.” Diluc muttered, avoiding facing the now parked emergency vehicles. “Let the paramedics take care of this now-”

Diluc’s phone chirped, much to his annoyance.

NEW MESSAGE:

Mona Megistus

‘Don’t you dare leave that girl alone.’

“Or not…” Diluc groaned, shrinking as far into the shadows of the house as he could as the ambulance parked. Over the tall grass and unruly bushes, Diluc could make out a familiar face and blonde hair coming towards the house.

Except, she hadn’t gotten out of the ambulance.

Jean had climbed out of the engine, from the Captain’s chair.

Chapter Text

“Dispatch, this is Captain 118, is there a reason there’s a police unit stationed outside of the emergency?” Jean spoke into her radio as the engine approached the shabby house, eyeing the unit, “Anything I should know?”
“Apparently there was a welfare check called in shortly before we got the call here at dispatch. They called the station directly.” Mona’s voice crackled on the radio while the engine parked out front of the house. Jean could see nosy neighbors peeking through their windows and out the front doors of the surrounding houses.

“You all can wait in the engine, this shouldn’t take long. We’ll get the man loaded up and then we’ll head out to St. Barbatos.” The acting captain spoke, everyone nodding to assure her that they would stay put.
Jean climbed out of the engine as the 118’s ambulance pulled up to the sidewalk, Mika shaking behind the steering wheel.

“Alright, prep the ambulance while I assess the patient. I’ll call for you on the radio if I need your assistance,” Jean instructed, Mika nodding in response before heading around to the back of the ambulance while Jean made her way through the overgrown front lawn. As the front door came into view, Jean did a double take. The police officer on the porch was a familiar boy, though she had only ever met him a few times before. Hadn’t Razor said he was still being trained? He wouldn’t be on this call alone-

Jean’s shock grew as she noticed the man kneeling down next to the little girl who had called 9-1-1. His red hair was cut short and stubble grew along his jaw, but she knew that face.

“Diluc?” Jean’s shock evident as she spoke his name, but she corrected herself swiftly, “Officer Ragnvindr. What’s the status of the patient? Do you have anyone with eyes on him?”
Diluc seemed to wince at the sound of Jean’s voice, looking up.

“Captain Gunnhildr. I was just trying to explain to Diona here that we need to get inside the house so we can help her dad but-”

“You’re a police officer! Not a firefighter! I want the firefighter!” Diona pouted, turning to Jean. “He’s in the kitchen on the floor… he wouldn’t wake up when I shook him…”

“I see, well sweetie, I’ll take a look at your dad, but I need you to stay with the police officers here, okay? Can you do that for me?” Jean spoke hurriedly, trying to emphasize the importance of the action to the little girl.
“Okay Miss Firefighter… I guess I can go with the police officers…”

Diona huffed and turned to face Diluc, pouting at the red haired man.

“Come on, let’s go wait in the patrol car… okay?” Diluc tried to be gentle with the girl, but it only earned him a glare.

“I don’t want to be that far from my daddy! We’ll wait outside and that’s it!” The little girl stomped her foot as she headed out the door, Razor by her side. Diluc lingered for a moment, eyes fixed on Jean.

“Go do your job, Officer Ragnvindr,” Jean spoke bitterly, disappearing into the kitchen without another word.

Inside the kitchen was a mess; pots and pans stacked high, fruit flies buzzing around from plate to plate. It smelled terrible, the scent of rotting food made Jean’s face scrunch up as she told herself to not breathe through her nose.
Kneeling down next to the man on the floor, Jean knew immediately that he was dead. By a couple hours from the look of it. His eyes were closed but there was no pulse or rising of his chest, just a hand clutched around the broken neck of a beer bottle and dried blood caked on his forehead.

“What’s the verdict, Captain?” Mika asked, wheeling the stretcher into the house. When he reached the kitchen, he reeled back in shock, most likely at the smell. “Oh, is it that bad already?”
“We’ll put him on the stretcher and have the coroner meet us at the hospital. That poor girl doesn’t need to know he was already gone, likely before she even got home from school…” Jean frowned at the man on the ground. “It can really hurt a kid… knowing they couldn’t save their parent…”

Mika nodded, helping Jean load the man onto the stretcher, before wheeling it out and to the ambulance. Jean’s eyes caught on Diluc as she headed out the door, shooting him a look of disdain.
“Keep her safe, Ragnvindr,” Jean huffed as the man gave a short nod, refusing to meet her eyes.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The ambulance ride to the hospital was deadly silent with a nervous Mika twiddling with his thumbs, eyes tracing the now covered form of the deceased man. His question hung in the air, unsaid but ever present.
“Yes,” Jean said as the ambulance approached the bay, sighing, “That was Kaeya’s brother, and no, we will not be mentioning it to him. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am.” Mika nodded, climbing out of the hold and wheeling the covered body towards the hospital.

Jean let out a huff, running a hand over her hair. She could feel the fly-aways springing up under her fingertips as she closed her eyes, letting her breath become heavy and labored.

Why did he have to be there?

Why now of all times did he have to show back up in her life?

After eleven years of not hearing a word from him, not a single message or call, Diluc Ragnvindr had reappeared in her life.

“A police officer… of course he’d be a police officer.” Jean ran a hand over her face, shoulders slumping. For as mad as she was at him, she was also relieved to see him okay, to see him alive and well. For all she and the rest of the 118 knew, he had died in a different country.

But instead he was fine.

And well- fine was just the beginning of it, it seemed. He had matured a lot, no longer awkward and lanky, he had an air of confidence and determination. Hard set jaw and stone cold eyes.

Hardly like the Luc she knew.

Could she even call him Luc after all this time? After the years of silence and constantly being ignored? After he changed his number, took his inheritance and ran? After the emotional turmoil he had left his barely adult brother in, leaving Jean and her family to take Kaeya in-

“Captain?” Noelle’s voice pitched from the front of the ambulance. “Mika’s waving for you-“

“Right, thank you Noelle- and please just- Jean is fine.” Jean slid out of the ambulance and into the medbay. “Alright, let’s get this paperwork done.”

Back at the station, Mika avoided everyone. Darting for the locker room to do Barbatos knows what. Noelle, the sweet probie that had just been brought on after a rough stint in the academy, had offered Jean sympathetic looks as the crew clambered out of the engine, chattering and laughing. But the girl didn’t say anything, just giving her superior a reassuring smile and a small nod, as if to say ‘I see you’.

“So the guy was DOA?” Lisa hummed, leaning against the engine as the rest of the crew filed up to the kitchen, laughing at something Kaeya had said.

“Yeah, poor girl doesn’t have anyone else it seems. When I was filling out the paperwork they identified him as Draff Koch. Apparently he worked at a sporting goods store but was fired recently for being drunk on the job. It’s just him and his daughter, a sweet thing named Diona…” Jean mumbled, staring at the ground. “Oh. Razor and his superior were there. Didn’t have a chance to say hi to your kid though. Tell him I’m sorry, will you?”

“Of course, Jean. I’m sure Razor will understand.” Lisa nodded, resting a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “Lighten up, sweetheart. We can’t save them all.”

Lisa was an older woman, in her mid 50’s, with graying-brown hair and vibrant green eyes. She had taken on a maternal role in the station, and the younger firefighters had taken to treating her as such. But Jean could never really find herself opening up to her, let alone telling her how she felt about the fire, or the events that followed. For all Lisa knew was Kaeya’s side, the burning building and the sobbing brother, who up and left days later.

She had no clue the half of it, nor did Kaeya.

Jean had kept what she remembered of that night to herself. She wasn’t the one who lost everything in that fire. She still had a family and a place to call home after it. So it surely didn’t matter how she felt about watching Diluc disobey orders, to watch Kaeya kicking and screaming for his father, to be unable to resuscitate Crepus, to watch his body lurch for fifteen minutes, no signs of life, as she sobbed and ached-

“Is everything alright, Jean?”

“Huh?” Jean shook herself; steadying back in the present. “Yes, everything’s… everything’s fine, Lisa. Go enjoy dinner with the crew, I have more paperwork to do.”

“If you say so. But, know I’m here for you, alright?” Lisa patted Jean’s shoulder heading towards the loft kitchen.

“Right…”

Chapter Text

Mona had not been ready for that call. 

The sobbing girl, shaking her father awake between hiccups and sharp inhales, only for the paramedics to come and pronounce him dead on arrival. To send the sweet little girl with Diluc of all people.

Sure she was friendly with him (she wouldn’t consider them friends, but she did like to pester him with invites and daily horoscopes (she guessed a part of her wanted him to come out of his shell)), but she wasn’t sure she trusted him with kids. He was known for being standoffish and cold, but he had turned out some of the best rookie cops in the past five years without much of a complaint. So maybe entrusting the sobbing girl to the police officer had been a good idea after all.

Of course, she wouldn’t know until after his shift, if at all.

Diluc didn’t respond to her messages often.

Mona stood from her desk at dispatch and groaned, heading over to the break room for the salad she had left in the fridge that morning. Her mouth watered at the idea of apple slices and cool lettuce.

“Just my luck!” One of the younger dispatchers- Bennett, was it?- pushed past Mona into the break room, slumping down on the table. “I’ve had nothing but nuisance calls all day! Why did I think taking a double would be a good idea?”

The girl he sat across from huffed, shoving what was left of a chocolate muffin into her mouth. “You think you’re having a rough day? I just had a call with a sobbing 6 year old because her dog died, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her you don’t call 9-1-1 for that kind of thing!”

Fischl groaned, throwing her hands up in the air.

“I told her I was sending paramedics! I can’t send paramedics for a dog !”

Mona couldn’t help but chuckle at the two. Both of them were fresh out of college, taking on first responder jobs after freak accidents in their lives, but they always had an interesting perspective on non-emergency calls.

“We are the emergency line for a reason!” Fischl huffed. “I mean imagine you’re in a car accident, you dial 9-1-1 and someone else is hogging the line because they didn’t get enough chicken nuggets at mcdonalds! True story, I heard that from a dispatcher who said an older dispatcher had that exact call! I mean who does that!”

Mona sighed, grabbing her salad from the fridge.

“What’s up with you, Mona?” Bennet perked up, hearing Mona’s distressed huff.

“Had a real tragic call today… a little girl found her dad dead, she didn’t even realize it, just said he wouldn’t stop sleeping… Paramedics arrived after the police . Scared the poor girl to the abyss and back.”

“Oh? What units?” Fischl smirked. “You know, Bennett’s boyfriend is a rookie cop! Was it his unit or-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Bennett yelped, covering his face. After a moment, he let himself peek out from behind his hands. “But uh… who was it…? Just out of curiosity…?”

“Officer Ragnvindr took the police's side, said it was a direct complaint from the station, a welfare check. But you’ll never guess who I had sent to pick up the poor girl’s father-”

“Who!” Fischl leaned forward on her elbows, resting her chin in her hands.

“The 118. I sent the 118 to a call with Officer Ragnvindr-” Mona huffed. “Diluc is never going to let me live this down…”

The two younger dispatchers shared a confused glance before shrugging and going back to their food, unimpressed by the story Mona had told.

“So what’s the big deal? Is he like Lisa's ex or something?” Fischl shrugged.

“Nah, Razor works with Officer Ragnvindr. He would know if that was his mom’s ex!” Bennet beamed at being able to talk about Razor, staring down at his phone. “Speaking of which, they should be off shift soon!”

“Really?” Mona perked up at the mention of the ending shift. “Maybe I’ll send Officer Ragnvindr a text, see if he’s okay and ask what happened with that girl! She was supposed to head to the precinct with him…”

“Yeah! You should! Tell me what happened too, okay Miss Megistus?” Fischl gave Mona a soft smile before heading out onto the floor.

“Keep us updated.” Bennett nodded and headed off to the floor as well, chattering with Fischl as they headed to their stations.

There was nothing Mona could wait for more than for her shift to be over. Minutes ticked by as she watched the clock fall towards eight, each second dragging on for eternity. Her calls were nothing to call home about, a few nuisance, a few non-emergencies, and the occasional light duty emergency.

The second her shift was over she was out of her chair, pulling her phone from her pocket as she clocked out.

Mona Megistus

Hey Diluc! How’s little Diona doing? I haven't heard anything from my end so I wanted to check with you.

There was a brief pause before Diluc’s reply.

Diluc Ragnvindr

She’s fine. You could have got me out of there before Jean showed up, you know.

Mona sucked in a breath, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She had forgotten at the time that the two had a rough falling out, and that for whatever reason, Diluc avoided the 118 at all costs. Mona didn’t exactly understand why but she felt like she needed to know more before she did him any favors.

Mona Megistus

In my defense, they were a minute out. Anyway what happened to Diona? Did social services get her yet?

There was a long pause before Diluc’s response came through. Mona had climbed onto the city bus by then, staring out of the window and letting music fill her ears. 

Diluc Ragnvindr

I’ll send you the address of the group home she’s going to if you’re that worried. 

Mona closed her eyes with a smile, leaning her head against the glass behind her. The poor girl was safe, and Diluc was going to help her keep an eye on her. Relief filled her body, allowing her to relax in her seat.

After another minute, she felt her phone buzz again. Confused, she picked it up, another message from Diluc on the screen.

Diluc Ragnvindr

What bar are you and your friends meeting at? 

Mona’s grin widened, sending Diluc the address of the bar that had been arranged by the group.

Today was turning out to be a great day.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Diluc! Over here!” Mona waved at the figure of the man that had appeared in the doorway of the bar. His broad shoulders and tall form blocked the doorway, obscuring the night sky behind him. “Come join us!” 

Mona was a few drinks in, feeling rather tipsy; laughing to herself and her friends, chattering relentlessly. She watched Diluc as he made his way over to the table of blabbering friends, all falling silent as they watched the man approach.

“Woah…” Sucrose mumbled, blinking behind her glasses.

“Holy shit.” Rosaria smirked, crossing her legs and slinging an arm over her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Look who finally showed up.”

“Good to see you too, Doctor Adler,” Diluc nodded at them, scowling at the drinks scattered around the table. “Are you all drunk?”

“Just Mona and Rosaria- I’m our designated driver,” Sucrose whispered, still wide eyed. 

“Diluc! You should drink!” Mona giggled, waving a fruity drink in his face. “You need to let go more often you know? You had a rough shift, so get loose! Have fun!”

Diluc just raised an eyebrow at her.

“Come on Diluc, just one drink?” Mona sighed at him, frustrated as he wouldn’t budge.

“I don’t drink,” Diluc stated, watching Mona sway in front of him. “And you shouldn’t drink any more. I think you’ve had plenty.”

“What! No I haven’t! It’s only been like… six cocktails…” Mona huffed, biting her cheek. “Okay fine maybe I’m at my limit, but I noticed that for myself, thank you very much!”

Diluc sat down next to Mona, running a hand through his hair. The girls blinked at him, Mona’s eyes wide.

“Did you?” Diluc hummed before falling silent for a long moment.

“Do you like, never go out? You’re like, awkward as hell!” Mona laughed, lightly slapping Diluc’s shoulder. “I need to get you out more.”

Sucrose and Rosaria nodded, and from where Mona was sitting, she could have sworn she saw a flicker of a smile run across Diluc’s lips.

Not that she was paying attention, or anything.

“Maybe you do…” Diluc nodded. “But I draw the line at drinking. Alcohol is disgusting .”

“Ha!” Rosaria rolled her eyes, expressionless. “A Ragnvindr who doesn’t drink? Now that’s a new one. Kaeya’s always drowning his sorrows in whiskey and rum, sometimes vodka if he can get his hands on it-“

Rosaria froze, now aware that she had brought up the one person Mona had told her not to.

Kaeya .

“Diluc wait-“ Mona started as Diluc pushed out of his chair. “She didn’t mean to-  she doesn’t even know why I-“

“It’s fine, Megistus. Enjoy your drinks.” And with that, he was gone, disappearing through the front door once more.

When Mona turned back to her friends, they were waving at her frantically, urging her along.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” She huffed, crossing her arms.

“Go after him, girl!” Sucrose scolded her.

Mona rolled her eyes but did as her friend said, rushing out onto the sidewalk where Diluc was disappearing down the block. 

She was dizzy, steps uneven as she hurried down the road towards him. It felt like the ground was rushing up to meet her feet with each step she took, fumbling after the redhead as she shouted after him. He didn’t turn his head, but he slowed to a stop at the corner, a heavy sigh wracking his shoulders. 

As Mona stumbled up to him, he stuck his arm out to stop her from stumbling into the street, towards cars passing in the night.

“Go home, Megistus…” Diluc sighed, turning to look at her, up and down. “You’re clearly too drunk. Call an uber and go get some rest before you hurt yourself.”

“No. I’m fine, Diluc. You hardly got here and-” Mona lost her balance for a moment, side stepping a foot off into the street. Diluc tugged her back onto the sidewalk with a sigh. “And I’m not going to just let you wander off like some… some… urgh! You’re such an infuriating man, Diluc Ragnvindr!”

“Oh, so now I’m infuriating ?” He steadied her back on the curb, suppressing a smile. “You do know you are the one who invited me out, correct?”

“I am- well aware!” Mona stammered, staring up at the man who had his hands firmly placed on her arms, cementing her in place. She had never really spent much time close to the police officer. Sure she had noticed he was tall, much taller than her, but it had never once crossed her mind just how massive he was. At nearly 6’4”; he towered over Mona.

But never once did she feel unsafe with him.

Not even now, when he held her with a tight grasp, body anchored to the sidewalk.

“But you are now being insufferable by- by refusing- well… by deciding to walk out! I understand it was a touchy subject but Rosaria didn’t mean anything by it! It was a simple mistake.”

A look crossed his face, one that Mona couldn’t quite distinguish. Perhaps annoyance, or amusement? Well whatever it was, the way he raised an eyebrow and glanced away, the soft scowl on his face, made her burst out laughing.

“What?” Diluc blinked at the giggling woman in front of him, who was beginning to go red in the face. “What’s so funny?”

“Are you really that bothered by something that happened so long ago, that simply hearing a name causes you to run and hide?” Mona teased, slurring her words. “Rosaria said a name and you left without another thought. I have no idea what happened between you and the 118 but you are such a stubborn ass to not even tolerate a small reminder-”

“ Mona .” Diluc mumbled, his face falling to a frown. “You’re right…. You don’t understand. There is no way you could. So maybe you should stop laughing at my reactions-”

“Or! Maybe you should open up about what the hell happened that made you run from your own brother-”

Diluc groaned in annoyance and let go of one of Mona’s arms, dragging her away from the main road and down to a parking lot, where his car was parked. Mona fell silent as they walked, staring up at Diluc’s face as his expression changed rapidly. He went from scowling to shaking his head with a suppressed smile and back. He stole quick glances at her, eyes locking with her wide ones.

Why did her face feel so warm every time he stifled a smile?

Surely it was the alcohol.

They reached Diluc’s car and he opened the passenger side door.

“We can go for a drive while you sober up. And maybe I’ll tell you what happened. Maybe .” He sighed, looking indifferent, but there was a tugging at Mona’s heart that said he wanted her to come with him.

So she did.

Diluc spent hours driving with Mona curled up in the passenger seat of his car, telling her the story of what had happened, and the years that had followed. At some point Mona fell asleep in his car, snoring softly.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Mona woke up with a pounding headache and a churning stomach.

“Fuck… my head…” Mona groaned, sniffling at the odd scent that began to fill her nose. It was warm and sweet. “Huh…?”

Mona opened her eyes to an unfamiliar room, an unfamiliar bed, a glass of water and ibuprofen at the bedside table.

“Where am I?” Her throat burned, reaching for the water.

“Oh- you’re awake…” A voice mumbled from the doorway, gruff and tired. Diluc stood with plates in hand, dressed in a pajama shirt and pants. “I was hoping that you would get some more rest.”

Diluc glanced away.

“You fell asleep in my car. Tried to claw my eyes out when I woke you up and refused to tell me where you lived. So I took you back to my place… I’d prefer if you didn’t shout at me, I could have left you in the car.”

Mona huffed, scowling.

“You should have my address. I put it in your phone when I gave you my contact.”

Diluc’s face reddened as he looked away. “Oh.”

“I guess it’s whatever. Thanks for being decent I guess.” Just from his voice and the state of the room, she could tell he had slept in a different room, gotten up early and even decided to make her breakfast. She should be grateful.

But to be honest she was a little annoyed.

“Of course. I made food… pancakes… Klee insists on having some whenever Gold lets me babysit her… so I have mix on hand… are you more of a waffles person, perhaps?”

“No- pancakes are fine I just… feel off. I didn’t want to end up in your… luxury… penthouse… oh Barbatos help me. ” Mona glanced around, eyes wide. “What part of the city are we in?”

“We’re five minutes from the precinct, ten to the dispatch center. If there’s no traffic of course…” Diluc placed the plate of pancakes down on the nightstand. “How is your head?”

Mona just raised an eyebrow and blinked at him.

“Who are you and what have you done with asshole Diluc Ragnvindr?”

“I’ll have you know, ‘Asshole Diluc Ragnvindr’ helped his idiot younger brother through plenty of hangovers. It’s just been a while since I had… someone to care about.”

Mona huffed, face going red. 

“Well, it’s very kind of you Diluc, but I really shouldn’t be here.” Mona climbed out of bed, leaving the scent that was distinctly Diluc behind. She hated this feeling, the way her head spun in admiration and excitement at the idea of someone taking care of her. She hated the way she felt her heart jump to her throat when he leaned over to rest the back of his hand on her forehead. “Diluc…”

“Mona, will you not be so stubborn and let me help you? You can go home after, I promise. I just don’t want you running out there and puking in the elevator.” Diluc spoke indifferently, checking her pupil dilation and watching her to see if she swayed back and forth when he let go of her.

“Officer, are you sobriety checking me right now?” Mona huffed.

“I could check your vitals while we’re at it if you want to pull the profession card. Now sit down and eat your food. Make sure to drink water. I think I have spare clothes from… the past… I can lend you some, you look about the right size,” Diluc spoke, nearly expressionless as he turned to his closet, pulling out a box taped shut. “You have a shift tonight, don’t you? Why would you let yourself get plastered?”

Mona just stared as he produced a pocket knife and cut the box open, staring at how Diluc gently lifted a sundress out of the box. It was a pale teal, and had little flowers along the top where the straps connected to the main body of the dress. It was cute, not very mature but cute.

“I usually can handle myself, I just got carried away.” Mona sighed, taking small sips of the water Diluc had set by the bed. “Thanks for… caring I guess…”

“Of course.” Diluc nodded, placing the dress next to Mona on the bed. “So you don’t have to wear the same thing… it uh… used to be Jean’s but, it should fit you.”

“Right. Of course.” Mona sighed, staring down at the dress. “It doesn’t feel like something Acting Captain Gunnhildr would wear though.”

“Acting Captain?” Diluc raised an eyebrow, tousling his hair. “Who’s Captain?”

“Some old guy named Varka. He’s out for cancer treatment but, the 118 hopes he’ll be back before the new year. Jean and Barbara wanted to take the week off to head over to Liyue for Lantern Rite,” Mona rambled. “Sorry, you probably don’t want to hear about your old firehouse…”

“Varka’s got cancer…? I really have been gone for too long,” Diluc frowned. “And for the record, Mona, I don’t mind hearing about the 118… I love hearing about them really but…”

Mona looked up to see the man rubbing his eyes with a sniff.

“I don’t like to let people see me cry.”

Mona smiled and took his hand. 

“It’ll be our little secret.”

Chapter Text

“FUCK OFF!” The pink haired girl shrieked at the woman who stood in her doorway, stomping her foot. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“Diona, sweetheart-” 

Diona didn’t let the woman finish speaking, just screamed at the top of her lungs. It was a deafening shriek of an angry little girl, pent up rage and sadness making her head spin as the woman rushed out of sight, slamming the door behind her.

Only then did Diona fall silent.

Alone with her thoughts, it was easier to deal with the pain of losing her father, to let herself work through the pain and sorrow, and to fight the feeling of freedom that tried to creep its way into her mind. She wasn’t happy her dad was dead, but relieved? Maybe a little.

“ I adore my Daddy more than anyone in the world… ” Diona mumbled to herself, curling up in her bed with the one thing she managed to keep with her, a small calico cat plush that her dad had given to her. It was old and dirty, and reeked of alcohol after years of her father accidentally spilling drinks on it. 

But she didn’t want to wash it, not if it meant it didn’t smell like her dad anymore.

“Daddy… Why are you gone? Why did you leave me alone…?” Diona choked out a sob, staring at the plush in her arms. “Please come pick me up… I miss you.”

There was a soft knock on the door, to which Diona responded with an ear splitting scream.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Diona sobbed, shaking, hurling her pillow at the door.

Or where the door was anyway.

The pillow collided instead with a woman, around 5’6” with long braided blue hair, and in a floral sundress. She stood in shock for a moment as the pillow fell to the floor at her feet, a sad look on her face.

“Diona…”

Diona knew that voice. She knew the soft cadence and the way that her vowels dropped off, the sadness and comfort in her voice.

“Miss Mona-” Diona sobbed shakily, holding onto her plush.

“Hey sweetie… I heard what happened…” Mona knelt down, opening her arms. “I’m so sorry sweetheart.”

Diona rushed over to Mona, sobbing into her shoulder. Her pink hair was tangled and dirty, and she was wearing the same clothes she had been for who knows how long, they were graying and falling apart.

“Why did he die… why couldn’t the nice firefighter lady save him…?”

Mona sighed, wrapping her arms around the small girl. “Diona… sometimes we can’t save people we love… sometimes we’re too late…”

Mona had a wistful look on her face as Diona pulled away.

“Did you lose someone too…?” Diona mumbled, sitting down on the floor in front of Mona, who leaned down to sit next to the girl.

“Not me, but a very good friend of mine lost his dad a long time ago… a long long time ago, before you were even born.” 

“Your friend sounds old.”

Mona chuckled, smiling at the small girl. “Maybe a little. But you want to know what happened to him…?”

Diona nodded, eager to hear how the friend of the sweet dispatcher had survived the loss of his dad.

“Well… he was angry, and sad for a long long time. And he didn’t let anyone near him, didn’t get close to anyone. He spent eleven years all alone.” Mona brushed a hand over Diona’s hair. “You know why?”

“Why?” Diona squeaked.

“Because he was afraid. But then he stopped being afraid, and now he’s my friend. He’s still working on being happy, but being alone all that time made him really really sad.”

“I don’t wanna be sad for eleven years … that’s like, forever.” Diona frowned.

“Then you should let yourself be sad now, but don’t force yourself to be alone… the people here want to help you, they want to be your friends and help you feel better.”

“But I don’t know them!” Diona protested, huffing as she crossed her arms.

“You didn’t know me, and I helped you.” Mona offered. “Sometimes we need to give people a chance to help us, a chance to hear us out and heal our pain. Healing all by yourself is very very hard.”

Diona nodded. 

“I’ll stop screaming at people… I guess…”

Mona gave Diona a smile, reaching out a hand for the little girl to hold. “If you want, I could bring you a friend later this week, if you want. She’s about your age, a little younger but I’m sure you’ll get along.”

“I don’t know… is she nice…?”

“The nicest. She’ll want to make crafts with you and talk and laugh with you until you both can’t breathe.” Mona smiled. “Her name is Klee, and she’s my friend’s younger sister.”

“How old is she?” Diona raised an eyebrow, a contemplative look on her face.

“She’s eight, but I’m sure she’ll be able to keep up with your big girl mind.” Mona reassured the little girl, running a hand over her head. “Would you mind if I brushed your hair, sweetie…?”

Diona squinted at Mona, huffing. “Just don’t make it hurt, okay?”

“I promise I’ll do my best.” Mona produced a blue hairbrush from her purse, as well as some detangler. “I’ll be as gentle as I can be, sweetheart.”

Mona sprayed a small amount of detangler into Diona’s hair and lightly ran the brush over the pink mess of hair, releasing the upper layers of tangles. Diona winced at first, afraid that Mona would be rough with her hair the way her Daddy was, but relaxed as Mona kept brushing the girl’s hair, eventually drifting off, sitting upright in front of Mona.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Diona…” A soft voice called to Diona from somewhere outside of her head.

“No…” Diona muttered, shaking her head as she snuggled into the softness the surrounded her.

“Diona sweetheart, I have to go…” The voice spoke again, and the softness around Diona seemed to shrink away, to which Diona huffed in protest.

“Just five more minutes…”

“Diona… I’ll be back again soon but I have work…”

Work? No one Diona knew worked.

Diona sat up from Mona’s arms suddenly, pouting.

“I-I didn’t fall asleep! I was just resting my eyes!”

Mona just nodded.

“I was! Really I was!” Diona huffed clambering for the bed as her eyes caught a look of herself in the mirror.

She looked nice, her hair was neat and untangled, it even smelled faintly of lavender and honey. 

“Woah…”

Diona stared at herself, running a hand through her hair gently, feeling no resistance.

“If you want, I can leave you the brush and detangler, just don’t use it up too fast, just one or two sprays at a time will do.” Mona smiled at the girl, placing the product and brush down on the small desk in the room. “I’ll see you this Saturday, alright Diona?”

“O-okay! Bye Miss Mona!”

Diona sat, wide eyed as Mona disappeared out the door, footsteps echoing on the polished wood floor.

Maybe life wasn’t so bad after all.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Saturday was the most exciting day for Diona. She had gotten up early, brushed her own hair for the first time in years, using the product Mona had left for her, changed into some fresh clothes the home had provided her, and sat perched on her bed for the entirety of the day, rocking back and forth while she waited for Mona to return.

But by two, Mona had still yet to show.

“She said Saturday! She wouldn’t lie… Miss Mona wouldn’t lie…”A knock came on the door, and Diona shot up, smiling wide. “Miss Mona!”

But the person who opened the door was not Mona.

Instead, he was tall, impossibly tall with untamed red hair, and a sharp face, expressionless.

Diona knew that face.

“You!” She hissed, reaching for her plush. “What are you doing here? Where’s Miss Mona!”

“Mona had a family emergency, she couldn’t come today, so she asked me to bring you a friend.” The cop spoke, but he wasn’t in uniform, in fact he was dressed like a normal guy, the kind of guy she used to see picking up their daughters from school with wide smiles and a warm hug.

“Diluc! Can I go in now?” A voice spoke from behind the door.

“That depends. Diona, do you want to meet Klee?”

“Yes!” Diona scrambled up, putting down her plush. Standing in front of the bed as she watched the small girl round the corner into Diona’s room. She was a little shorter than Diona, with blonde hair tied in braids with little red ribbons on the end, and wearing a red gingham dress, with matching red shoes decorated with bows.

“Hello!” Klee ran up to Diona, hugging her. “I’m Klee! I was in a foster home too but I was little little! Big brother says you wanted friends so now I’m your friend because being alone sucks!”

“Klee, you know Gold doesn’t let you say that word.”

Klee huffed. “That’s Diluc. He’s one of the weird grown ups. I’ve got a bunch of grown up friends, but not a lot of friends our age! So, we’re friends now.”

Diluc chuckled, shaking his head as he sat in the corner of the room on a stool. He took out his phone, and though Klee didn’t notice, Diona saw him watching them, in case they got into any trouble.

“Let’s play a game! Do you like playing princesses? Or maybe we can play firefighters! My big brother’s a firefighter!” Klee giggled. “Or we can be cops like Diluc! He’s a good cop! He trained a bunch of people and saved even more!”

“Really? He’s just a guy. A weird guy.” Diona huffed. “He took me away from my Daddy the day he died. He didn’t even talk to me.”

“That’s just Diluc! He’s weird and quiet! But he’s really good at his job, Mona and Big Brother talk about him being a good cop!” 

Diluc seemed startled for a moment but shook his head, returning to his phone to type a message to someone.

“Well I don’t like him. He’s mean. If he hadn’t come to my house I would have been with my Daddy when he got to the hospital.” Diona pouted, pointing at Diluc. “He’s a weirdo.”

Diona noticed Diluc sigh.

Something was off.

He seemed sad .

Chapter Text

FIVE YEARS AGO

Kaeya had never thought much about love.

In fact, it was something he quite often dreaded the notion of.

All these sickly sweet romances on TV, all equally uninteresting to him as they were unrealistic.

The idea of a man and a woman, trusting each other that much, after a few short meetings made him scoff. No person could truly feel that way, right?

The other firefighters at the 118 called him a playboy, watched as he ran around with random women every couple of nights, seeking some comfort or affection that he never could quite reach, he never could find that emotion .

For him, it was merely transactional, a kiss for a kiss, a night together to satisfy needs.

Not once had he considered love .

But while Jean teased him for his endeavors and Barbara chastised him for his promiscuous behavior, there was one friend of his that always remained silent when the topic of Kaeya’s escapades arose.

“Have yourself some fun last night, ay Kaeya?” Jean teased, waving her phone in Kaeya’s face. The screen displayed Kaeya and some woman, short blonde hair and striking blue eyes, tangled in each other’s arms at some bar the night before. “You really have an eye for the pretty ones. You think she’ll stick around this time? I’d love to meet her.”

Kaeya responded with a laugh. “Oh please, Jean. I didn’t even get her name.”

Barbara rolled her eyes from where she was seated on the couch, turning to face the fourth member of their weekly hang out.

The blonde man was quiet, but that wasn’t unusual for Albedo. Despite his enjoyment of their hangouts, the guy didn’t seem to be all that present most of the time.

“‘Bedo, no Sucrose tonight? Where is your lovely girlfriend anyway?” Kaeya turned to his friend, shooting him a teasing smile. “Or did your loud personality finally manage to scare her off?”

“ Sucrose is out with a friend. She won’t be joining us tonight. ” Albedo murmured, returning to playing sudoku on his phone.

Kaeya couldn’t help but wince.

He had noticed something odd going on between the two for months, a distance growing between Albedo and his sugary sweet girlfriend. The two of them had never been overly affectionate, sure, but a gap had grown between them it seemed.

Not that it was any of Kaeya’s business what went on behind the scenes of his friend’s relationships. 

But the slight downturn of Albedo’s lips caused him to wonder what could possibly have happened to make that man frown.

“Okay but next week you need to bring her along. Catan is much less fun with only four of us.”

“Of course, I’ll make sure she joins us…”

Albedo nodded and headed into the kitchen, a pensive look on his face.

“What was that about?” Jean mused, tilting her head.

“I have no idea… I’ll… be right back…” Kaeya rose from his seat at the dining room table and followed Albedo into the separated kitchen. “Everything alright, ‘Bedo…?”

Albedo was standing over the sink, hands clasped around the back of his neck as he stared out the kitchen window into the clear Mondstadt night sky. If it weren’t for street lights and the glare of the kitchen lights, there would have been stars.

Albedo turned to face Kaeya, a little startled. “Ah- yeah… everything is fine.”

But then Albedo’s face twitched, lip quivering.

“Actually… it’s not… fine I mean.”

Kaeya approached his friend, gently removing the smaller man’s hands from their place on the nape of Albedo’s neck.

“What’s wrong…?” Kaeya mumbled, running a thumb over Albedo’s knuckles, gentle and deliberate.

“ Sucrose and I broke up last year… we uh… have just been living together. ” Albedo confessed, resting his head against Kaeya’s chest, sending a bubbling feeling up the blue haired man’s spine.

“‘Bedo- I’m so sorry I didn’t know-“ Kaeya offered, squeezing Albedo’s hands lightly. “What happened…?”

Albedo seemed to wince at the question, head still buried in the soft blue silk of Kaeya’s dress shirt.

“ It wasn’t her fault… it was mine…” Albedo admitted, voice strained.

Kaeya hummed a response, urging the man in his arms to continue, to explain what on earth could have made him leave his girlfriend of seven years(‘Seven years is such a long time for someone to just be dating’ Kaeya had thought.)

“I… realized that I was with her for the wrong reasons… because it was convenient and made her happy but… I never really felt that spark with her, you know? I’ve never felt that spark with any woman…”

Something in Kaeya understood the feeling of, as wonderful as women were, the inability to truly feel any sort of romantic (or otherwise) connection with them.

It was something he struggled with too.

But until now, he had never figured out the word for it.

“ I think I’m gay, Kaeya… ” Albedo mumbled, clinging onto Kaeya with such force he thought he might explode.

“ It’s okay, ‘Bedo… ” Kaeya chuckled, running a hand over the blonde’s hair. “ You want to know a secret?”

Albedo nodded.

“ I am too.” Kaeya had never admitted it, out loud or to himself, but saying it out loud, saying it to sweet, genius Albedo, he knew it was true.

But it seemed Albedo hadn’t expected that response, because he stumbled back, looking up at Kaeya with wide eyes.

“You- you are? But last night- that woman-“ Albedo motioned out the kitchen door, as if there was some imaginary woman waiting for Kaeya in the dining room with their friends.

“I… I never really feel anything for them but… it’s easier to pretend to be some player than… admit it…?” Kaeya winced, toying with the buttons on his shirt. “I mean, what would the Gunnhildrs think? They let me live here but they’re… super religious- what if they don’t accept me, you know?”

“I think… you’re too in your own head about it…” Albedo murmured. “Jean and Barbara are like your sisters… they’ll love you no matter your sexuality…”

Kaeya laughed shallowly, tucking some hair behind Albedo’s ear.

“I could say the same about you…”

The crashing of lips was unexpected but welcome as the two tangled in each other, eager to experience maybe just an iota of what love could feel like.

They managed to sneak out the back door of the kitchen and to Kaeya’s room, where their kissing grew feverish and desperate, the racing in their chests apparent as their hands tugged each other’s clothes away from their bodies.

“ Maybe for one night… we can pretend this is meant to be… ” Albedo’s voice was hoarse as he felt Kaeya’s lips press against his neck. 

Kaeya stopped in his tracks, staring down at the man who he was straddling.

“ Maybe… maybe it is… ”

———————————————————————————————————————

PRESENT DAY

“Al…?” Kaeya mumbled, turning over in bed to find it empty of his lover.

It wasn’t an uncommon thing for Kaeya to wake up without Albedo, the man’s sleeping habits were horrendous after all. But every time it surprised him, and every night he hoped he’d wake up in his boyfriend’s arms.

“I’m in the kitchen, love.” Albedo’s voice sounded strained as he hunched over his sketchbook, doodling endless worries into oblivion. Kaeya lumbered over to the other, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s torso and resting his head in the crook of the other’s neck. This morning the drawing was a garden of flowers, similar to ones he had drawn in the past. With tall dandelions, valberries, philomena mushrooms, calla lilies and lampgrass flooding the scene, but unlike other illustrations, this one had an edge to it, the usual soft pencil strokes were frantic towards the outer edge of the drawing, where Kaeya noticed red flowers had begun to sprout, furious and looming.

“What are you going to call this one…?” Kaeya mused, inhaling the scent of his lover’s hair, the slight musk of sweat lingered from the previous night, but the smell of his cologne mixed in was all too alluring.

“ Intruder .” Albedo mumbled, the curve of the petals becoming more rigid and menacing. 

“Looks like someone’s in a terrible mood.” Kaeya laughed, kissing along Albedo’s jaw. “Would you like me to make breakfast for us…?”

Albedo sighed, nodding solemnly. “That would be wonderful…”

“Can I have some too!” Klee tugged at Kaeya’s pajama pants, smiling as if she hadn’t just spawned into existence next to the two. “You make the best Fontaine toast!”

Kaeya sighed, ruffling the little girl’s hair.

“Of course Klee, we need you to have energy for your big day out with Mona now don’t we?”

Klee giggled, clapping her hands. “Yeah! Miss Mona said she had a friend for me! And we;re gonna get yummy sandwiches from Good Hunter for lunch and ice cream after!”

“Well, it sounds like your day is going to be a fun one.” Kaeya laughed, picking up the little girl. He had grown to love Albedo’s younger sister as if she was his own, all smiles and a whirlwind of chaos. She was a joy to be around and Albedo loved her with all his heart, took care of her when their moms weren’t around, kept her busy so maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t wonder where her moms had gone.

Kaeya loved Albedo for all he had done for his family.

But a part of him was jealous too.

Chapter Text

“Bye Diona! I’ll bring you cookies next time!” Klee took Diluc’s hand as she waved to Diona. Klee was smiling wide, and somehow, Diona was smiling even wider.

“O-okay! Bye Klee!” Diona stuttered, staring at the ground in an attempt to hide her joy.

Klee was practically buzzing as Diluc walked her to the car, yammering about the things she and Diona were going to do next.

“Klee?” Diluc paused, the question in his mind sounded unsure and irrational, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. “Do you remember when Gold brought you home? How did she do that…?”

Klee lit up at the mention of her adoptive mother.

“You mean when she became my Guard-di-dan? Well… big brother helped her with the paperwork! And, uhhh, he said they had to do an assesseme of the house! To make sure it was a good place for me! Which was kind of mean because I had been there before, Momma let me stay over a lot before she left!”

“Is that so?” Diluc gripped the steering wheel, glancing over at Klee.

“Yeah! Though, my big brother would know waaaay more than me. He’s a genius.”

“I know Klee…” Diluc paused before mumbling. “Do you ever miss Alice?”

“Yeah! I miss momma all the time! But I know she’ll come back one day, so I’m happy living with big brother and Gold until she does!” Klee’s smile never once faltered as she spoke. “Can we get ice cream now?”

Diluc chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Sure we can… let’s go get you some ice cream.”

“And some for Dodoco?” Klee held up the fuzzball plushie she took everywhere with her.

“I don’t think Dodoco’s earned his ice cream today. Maybe next time though.”

“Ughhh! You say that every time!” Klee kicked her feet a little.

“Because I know you eat Dodoco’s ice cream when I’m not looking, then end up with a tummy ache because you ate too much.”

“Nuh uh!” Klee pouted, crossing her arms.

“Your brother won’t be very happy with me if I bring you home with a stomach ache, Klee.”

“Okay… but next time?” Klee was hopeful as they approached the ice cream parlor, staring out the window.

“Maybe,” Diluc chuckled. “Maybe…”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

When Diluc arrived at Albedo’s apartment complex, he debated sending Klee up to the third floor on her own. 

But that wasn’t who he was, he knew the dangers of being a girl that young, alone in such a populated place. Statistically the walk from his car to the front door was dangerous, more dangerous than he was comfortable with risking. So he sucked up his pride and climbed out of the car.

The building wasn’t nearly as upscale as his, perfectly middle class, in a way that felt both comforting yet uncomfortable to Diluc. He had never lived that kind of life, he grew up in the lap of luxury thanks to his father. He had never once worried about rent or food or if he would have the money to do the things he loved.

Being in this place, where his old friend lived, he wasn’t sure that he had the strength to face the demons that haunted him. The actions he had taken and the people that he hurt. He knew the risk that he took with every step up the stairs.

But Klee’s small hand clutched around his index finger reassured him that maybe, just maybe, there was a window, a chance for forgiveness.

He hesitated ringing the doorbell, turning to Klee with a sad look. He crouched down next to the girl, patting her head softly.

“Do you wanna ring the doorbell, kiddo?”

“Yeah!” Klee laughed, lunging at the button that was just at her fingertips. “Big brother! I’m home!”

There was a moment of panic, where Diluc stood up straighter and the weight of the situation seemed to dawn on him, like the new day rising after a long night. He hadn’t faced any of the 118 outside of work in eleven years, what would he say, what would Albedo say? Would he be cussed out and told to leave, asked to never come near this place again? Or would Albedo invite him inside and listen to his story and apologies.

The door swung open to reveal the blonde man, smiling at Klee.

It seemed for a moment, that Albedo didn’t notice him, or maybe didn’t recognize him and his untamed red hair, his rough stubble that lined his jaw and the nervous look in his eye.

But after a second that felt like hours, Albedo’s eyes snapped to look at Diluc, forgetting the softness they had known as he faced Klee.

“What are you doing here?” Albedo’s voice was sharp. “Mona said she was sending a friend to drop Klee off.”

Diluc’s words wouldn’t leave his mouth, caught in the lump in his throat. His mouth gaped with words he couldn’t quite form, unsure where to begin.

“Diluc.” There was no familiar warmth in his voice, only the bitter sting of years of resentment, of growing hatred and annoyance. “Where is Mona?”

“She uh… had a family emergency… and asked me to take Klee.”

“And you thought it would be appropriate, for you to watch over an eight year old, whom you hardly know?” Albedo’s words were venomous, unaware of the times that his own mother had let Diluc watch over the small girl.

“I know Mister Diluc super well! Gold asks him to watch me sometimes when you’re working! He never gets ice cream for Dodoco though…” Klee smiled. “I’m gonna go hug Ky now!”

The little girl ran inside, leaving the adults in the doorway, anger and regret stewing in the air.

“I think you should go.” Albedo began to close the door when a familiar voice cut through the air.

“Al? You aren’t gonna let me say hi to Mo-” Kaeya rounded the corner, Klee in his arms. Whatever smile that had been growing on his face froze for a moment, as a look of confusion swept over his features. But after another long moment, that look too was gone, replaced with something Diluc couldn’t quite place, disgust maybe? Or some sort of twisted shock and anger? “-na… you’re…”

The silence hung in the air, crackling and electric, words unsaid brewing.

“Kaeya…” Diluc broke the silence, looking at his brother for the first time in eleven years. The man looked different than Diluc remembered, hair that was once long and unruly was neatly trimmed, a soft stubble growing along his jaw. “It’s… good to see you…”

Kaeya didn’t speak, eyes glued on his brother’s face in shock.

Before Diluc could manage another word, the door was closed in his face.

And behind the door, he could hear sobbing.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Diluc didn’t know what to do.

He had no idea who to call, or where to go.

He just needed someone.

He didn’t pay attention to where he was driving, letting his mind wander as his car looped mindlessly around the city as tears streamed down his cheeks.

And before he knew it, he found himself parked in front of a dingy apartment building.

The brick was faded and the windowsills were peeling, rotting with mold and worn by time.

Diluc couldn’t believe Mona lived here.

He had met up with her here to pick up Klee earlier that day, and she had insisted her family emergency wouldn’t take more than a couple hours.

So maybe, she would be home now.

Diluc climbed the creaking stairs up to her apartment, legs filled with lead as each heavy step landed on the unstable floorboards. He didn’t know when he reached her apartment, or how long he stood out front, afraid to even knock. But when he did work up the strength to, just three short raps on the peeling wood, she opened without a word, ushering him inside.

He sat on her couch, staring out the window at nothing, because there really was nothing to look at. The window was half boarded up, and the part that was intact, looked out against the wall of another building, fire escape ladders tucked up. Her apartment was filled with knick-knacks and books of various subjects, all thrown about without much care to their rightful home.

But the chaos was calming, with the fading smell of lavender incense and leftover fried chicken sitting on the stove top, Diluc could almost pretend he was at home, cooking himself dinner, with no worries or notions of estranged brothers or old, angry, friends.

Mona busied herself with tidying up while he stared blankly at the eggshell stucco that coated the neighboring building. She mumbled under her breath incoherent things– or maybe Diluc was in too much of a daze to understand, that was far more likely– and would shoot him looks of concern whenever she paused.

He didn’t know how much time passed before she sat beside him on the faded blue couch, undoubtedly purchased second hand, and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“What happened…?” Her voice was soft, reassuring, as he let go of the hold he had on his emotions.

He expected rage, fury, screaming, something other than the tears that began all over again. He found himself burying his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as he couldn’t stop the anguished sobs that seemed to swallow him whole.

“He looks so different…” Diluc choked, staring at his hands. “I look so different. He didn’t even recognize me at first.”

Mona didn’t say anything, nodding along as Diluc felt as if his heart was trying to jump out of his mouth, the words spilling as uncontrollably as his tears.

“I thought he’d yell at me, or at least tell me to leave. But he couldn’t even speak to me- not after he recognized me.” Diluc ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Why was he at Albedo’s? I wouldn’t have stuck around if I knew he was there- Shit I shouldn’t have been there in the first place, I should have brought Klee back to you. I don’t know why I even went to Albedo’s place-”

“Diluc- Sorry. Do you mind if I give some advice? Or do you just want me to listen because I have a lot of thoughts about what you’re going through and I just want to know if I’m allowed to give my thoughts or if I should just let you process-”

“It’s fine, Mona. Stop panicking.” Diluc mumbled. “Yes. I want your advice… “

Half the words and thoughts that formed in Diluc’s mind wouldn’t make their way to his lips, the apologies and the sobs caught like a stone in his throat. He needed her to speak, to take his mind off the spirals of horrible thoughts that he had held at bay for the past eleven years. All the thoughts of his past, what he could have done differently, have done better. What would his life have looked like if he hadn’t walked out on the only family he had left?

“I think… you need to talk to them. In person. It doesn’t have to be all at once, or even right away. But none of you will heal from this if you don’t reach out first. As far as they’re aware, you are content with the life you’re leading now, a life that doesn’t include them. If you reach out to them, let them know how much you miss them, regret leaving them, then you can all start to heal.”

“Them?” Diluc managed, choking as he looked up at Mona. She was staring off at a spread of tarot cards, left abandoned and half overturned. The expression on her face was jumbled between hurt and understanding, a broken visage of control and vulnerability.

“Kaeya and Jean…” Mona stood from the couch, rounding it to pick up the dress he had lent her previously, the teal one that Jean had left with him before he ran. One of the few keepsakes he had of her. “That box of their things… you keep it because you love them. Because you want to feel like they’re still with you… even if every trace of them has long since faded.”

“I… Mona…” Diluc stood, shaky and unsure. “What if they don’t want to see me… don’t want to hear my apologies…”

“Then at least you can say you tried.” Mona handed him the dress. “But maybe you can pick up where you left off. If you want to…”

There was a soft moment, where their hands brushed as Mona passed him the dress. He swore he could see the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end before she pushed away. 

“Start with Jean, she’s easier to talk to than Kaeya these days…” Mona muttered, eyes darting to the cards on the table, The Lovers taunting her in their intertwined dance. “She needs some closure, as much as you do.”

Diluc nodded, rising from the couch. For a moment, he began to reach for Mona, in hopes of a hug. But stumbled on his own anxieties, the awkwardness of the situation getting the better of him. So instead, he extended a single hand, a simple handshake which Mona returned in courtesy. Their gazes lingered on each other for a brief moment before Diluc pulled away, brushing past her as he headed for the door.

“Mona?” He turned to face her, her back turned to him as she scooped up the cards on her table.

“Yes?” There was a quiver in her voice, hair obscuring her face as she refused to face him.

“Thank you… For being a friend to me when no one else was…”

Her shoulders hitched slightly, an action that Diluc noted with curiosity and a twang of guilt. Had she not considered them friends? After the drunken nights and pancakes and favors? Had this truly been his own perception of their relationship and not a shared view?

“Of course… Any time.” Mona muttered, stuffing the cards into their ornate box with shaking hands. “Go see your family, Diluc.”

“Right… Goodbye.” Diluc ducked out of the apartment, closing the door without glancing back at the woman in the room behind him.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Diluc wasn’t sure that Jean still lived in her childhood home. She was much older now than she had been when they had been friends, but he had heard rumors of her father’s passing, of her mother’s decline. It only made sense that Jean was staying here, whether it was permanent or not was frankly none of his business.

Yet.

It was none of his business yet.

He approached the front door with the box of her things, items he had refused to let go of or leave behind in the years previous. Trinkets of their relationship that never quite was. Dried corsages from high school dances and floral dresses she had left in his room.

Diluc froze again before his hand hit the wood of the front door, worries of inadequacy or anger directed at him flooded his mind. Would she be happy to see him? Would he be the person she wanted to see? Or would she tell him to leave, not screaming or shouting, but a stern request in the way that was level headed and firm. The way that was simply… Jean.

But he remembered Mona’s insistence on him making things right, how closure was better for all of them, not just for his own feelings. He knocked on the door, the sharp sound crackling against the painted exterior.

A moment passed.

Then another.

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened slightly, and a wide blue eye stared up at him.

“Barbatos help us-” The voice squeaked in annoyance, the door closing once more.

“Excuse me-” Diluc’s words were cut off by the shutting of the door. 

After a moment, he heard the click of a deadbolt being pulled away, and the door opened to reveal an exhausted girl, still dressed in nurse scrubs, hair pulled back away from her crystal blue eyes and round face.

“Jean’s in the kitchen. For her sake; Don’t blow it.” Barbara chirped at Diluc, arms crossed. “You get one shot, Ragnvindr. Make it count.”

“Thank you…” Diluc nodded at the woman, so bright yet tired. 

“Don’t thank me yet.” Barbara ushered him inside, closing the door behind him.

“Babs? Who are you talking to?” Jean’s laughter carried in from the kitchen. “Is that cat at the door again? I told you we can’t feed it-”

Jean rounded the corner from the kitchen into the dining room, dusting her hands off on an apron. Her blonde hair lay in a loose ponytail, tied back by a black ribbon. The smile on her face fell as he caught her eye, halting in the archway between the two rooms.

“Hello, Jean.”

“Diluc.”