Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Scoop.

Swallow.

Scoop.

Swallow.

Scoop.

Swallow.

Not even tasting the mint chocolate; he wouldn’t even know what flavour the ice cream was if it wasn’t for the lingering taste on the back of his teeth, he was just eating it that damn quickly. Not for satisfaction, just to fill the empty void inside him, a void that felt as if it was never going to lessen no matter what he did.

And he knew that eating tubs of ice cream wasn't doing anything good for him. Neither was the entire eight pack of glazed donuts he’d had for breakfast, nor was the three bowls of mac and cheese he’d immediately eaten afterwards.

He’d already put on a bunch of weight in the past couple of months, his skin had broken out from the excess sugar, which also caused him to stay up all night long and then finally crash at 4am; sleep the day away and then repeat.

There was a time where this had been the life he’d planned over and over again. A belly full, eating enough for two, late sleepless nights, neglecting all of his friendships, taking a break from his job; but in that fantasy he’d been happy about it, willing. It wasn’t that right now.

Right now he was in the midst of a deep depression; his third this year and it was only August. These moments lasted for days, sometimes even weeks, it had been nearly impossible to function for months; he’d been unable to breathe for two years.

He picked himself up off from where he’d slumped pathetically onto the kitchen floor. Scooping up the now empty tub of ice cream, he moved over to the sink, cleaning the container thoroughly before throwing it in the recycling; he wouldn’t let his home get dirty, no matter how bad he felt.

Finding nothing else to do he crawled back into the pathetic excuse of a nest he’d made on the living room floor. Its scent barely helped to calm his nerves; bottled pheromones that he’d drenched his own clothes in (because he didn’t have anyone else's') didn’t work like the real thing.

The strongest smell was his friend Jongho’s hoodie, but it didn’t offer the comfort that it should; you could always tell when an alpha was already mated, when they weren’t for you and never would be. At least it reminded him that he was loved, even if it was platonic.

Rolling onto his back he ran his hands over his stomach, the smallest hint of dopamine hitting his brain when he registered it feeling round and hard under his fingertips. He knew it was just excessive bloating, that in about an hour it would pretty much be gone, but it always helped on days like this. That shred of happiness melted away all too quickly though. One whole hour without crying must have been a record for him, and with that in mind he let himself burst into tears.

He had no idea how long he’d been laying there when there was a knock on the door. He knew it was coming. There was a time where he was glued to his phone, responding to every text within seconds, reacting to snaps, liking posts on twitter and Instagram. Going radio silent for days always caused concern for the people who still, for some reason, wanted to know him.

Heaving himself up from the floor he made his way over to the front door, not even bothering to try and fix the sad state he was in, he knew who it would most likely be anyway.

“Hey” he mumbled.

“Wooyoung, I’ve been calling you all day!” Yeosang frowned, inviting himself into the apartment.

Wooyoung sighed and closed the door, watching as Yeosang edged around his nest and sat down on the couch.

“What’s going on?” Yeosang asked, face twisted in confusion and the look Wooyoung hated most, the look of pity.

But of course it was warranted, Yeosang had probably never seen a sorrier sight in his entire life, he doubted most people had. Wooyoung flopped back onto his nest and gripped onto a flannel shirt, belonging to him but doused in a random alpha’s bottled scent, it smelt like chemicals, it probably was diluted with something.

“It…he…Seeun would have been born this week…” Wooyoung breathed out.

“Oh Woo…” Yeosang sighed.

He immediately joined the other on the floor, curling around him and squeezing him tightly.

“S-sorry I called in sick, I know you probably have more work because of me…” Wooyoung sniffled.

“Don’t Woo. It’s nothing I can’t handle, especially if I know I’m doing it for a damn good reason, and this is top priority for me!” Yeosang argued.

“I just…I used to be the best, so dedicated and now I have to take months off at a time and…I’m surprised I haven’t been fired yet” Wooyoung started to cry again, rolling over so that he could rub his face against his best friend’s shoulder.

“Now you know Jongho wouldn’t let that happen!” Yeosang chuckled, his tone always got a little fonder whenever he talked about his mate, he didn’t mean it, but it always sent more pain into Wooyoung’s heart, “besides, it’s not as if we do anything that crazy.”

Which was true, both he and Yeosang worked at an up and coming journalism company. Somewhere you were allowed to freelance but also put you onto certain projects if you were struggling for work.

Everyone there was incredibly talented; Wooyoung was one of their photographers and he himself had a few of his pictures featured in newspapers and magazines, though mostly for rather unimportant things: a local bake sale or some epic shots of the marathon their city hosted every year. But he’d also had some luck shooting at the birthday parties of minor celebrities, some weddings as well, before that scene got too much.

Jongho’s father was the CEO of the company, and the aforementioned man had about 49% ownership anyway. Being Yeosang’s mate first, but also a dear friend to Wooyoung, Jongho understood that he needed a little extra flexibility. And as much as Wooyoung appreciated it, it wounded him also; to not be on top of his game like he used to be for the eight years he’d worked for them now. Wooyoung didn’t understand why he couldn’t get it together, why he couldn’t just move on from it all, it had been two years for fuck sake.

“I know I just…I don’t know Sangie…I’m fine everyday and then suddenly I wake up and see the date on my phone and my entire world crumbles and I can barely even see straight…” Wooyoung whimpered.

“It’s okay…” Yeosang hushed, stroking his hair.

“Is it? I’ve never heard of anyone else going through something like this!” Wooyoung shot back.

“...I don’t think you’re alone, I just think not enough people talk about it” Yeosang hummed.

Talk about it.

No Wooyoung had never heard anyone ever talk about what he was going through. It hadn’t always been this way…

Wooyoung had been courted, and mated with who he thought was his soulmate by the time he was twenty-two. He and Rejun had met in a coffee shop, Wooyoung had accidentally bumped into him, spilled a little coffee on his nice shirt, and Rejun had laughed it off. They’d started talking; the attraction was immediate, the vibe magnetic, it had felt like something out of a romance movie. Six months later they’d officially mated, a year after they’d gotten married.

Wooyoung might have gotten his degree in photography but ever since he was young his mind was babies, babies, babies. Perhaps it wasn’t very progressive of him, omegas all over the world, omegas like Yeosang, had been fighting hard to express that they were more than just baby making machines. And while Wooyoung wholeheartedly supported the idea of free choice, he’d never been one to stray far from the traditional role that was assigned to him ever since he presented.

Wooyoung loved kids, he wanted them, wanted his own family that he could raise, cherish, and love. He’d had the desire even before he knew what he was, and when at eighteen he presented as an omega, unlike most male omegas he knew, he’d been thrilled. He got to carry the children, he got to be the one that bonded with the child the most.

Wooyoung was happy to be the person that stayed home, cleaned the house, cooked dinner every night, read bedtime stories, and helped with homework. He was willing to fall into that perfect omega role with pride. And Rejun, a traditional minded alpha; had been glad of this. They were the perfect match, and when Wooyoung fell pregnant two years into their marriage they’d both been ecstatic.

Then Wooyoung had lost the baby, three months in.

It was a blow to the both of them but they'd been told by friends, family and even their doctor that losing at three months was unfortunately something that happened quite often.

It hurt but they didn’t let it dull the sparkle of their relationship and a year later, when Wooyoung finally felt ready to welcome a new life into the world again, he’d fallen pregnant once more and they’d been so excited.

Five months in, Wooyoung had leapt out of bed in the middle of the night, in excruciating pain, Rejun had helped him to the bathroom, thinking he was just experiencing cramps or sickness. When it was clear it wasn’t that, Wooyoung had been rushed to hospital, in severe pain, heavily confused and scared.

Only to be told that he was losing another child…

A few months later, when Wooyoung was finally ready, both he and Rejun had gone to a specialist to see if there were any fertility problems there. According to the doctor there weren’t any major issues; Wooyoung had high blood pressure but that was about it. Rejun recommended that Wooyoung go part time at his job to relieve a little stress and it worked as intended.

A year afterwards, with the belief that third times the charm, Wooyoung was pregnant again.

And seven months in everything seemed absolutely fantastic. They had no more than eight weeks to go, Wooyoung had loved watching his bump grow larger and rounder over time. The weight of it was difficult to carry, but it was something he cherished anyway.

They were having a boy, they’d named him Seeun; friends and family had bought clothes, toys, everyone was so excited. Wooyoung stayed up crying tears of joy every night, it was finally happening, he was finally getting his dream.

He’d been in a supermarket, grabbing some milk for Rejun’s morning coffee when he collapsed on the floor. He vividly remembers the pain, the blood, the desperate wails that he didn’t even realise were coming from his own mouth. The frantic, painful minutes at the hospital where the doctors had tried everything they could, but it was no use…

Wooyoung had lost him, he’d lost Seeun.

Rejun had waited until Wooyoung’s body had somewhat recovered. Not to be kind to Wooyoung, but just so he didn’t look bad, before bowing out. Divorcing Wooyoung on the grounds that there was something wrong with him, that he was dysfunctional, asking what kind of omega couldn’t bear children? Six months later he’d met someone else, mated with him, six after that they’d welcomed their first healthy child.

So clearly, Wooyoung was the problem…

And Wooyoung would be a liar if he said that he was okay with that. He was anything but. He could barely even breathe when Rejun left; his mating bite throbbing, his anxiety spiking, misery smothering him like a weighted blanket. That gut wrenching feeling when your mate left you, when they rejected you after promising that they’d be with you for life.

And then came something else. The feeling of failure for not being able to have everything that his heart desired the deepest. It was completely against his will, but Wooyoung’s mind, his heart, his soul was extremely focused on the fact that he’d lost his children.

He became hyper aware of when they would have been born, thought about who they would have been, what they would have looked like, if they would have resembled him or Rejun more. And he couldn’t stop thinking about it, over and over again until he could barely function.

Seeun’s birthday was always the worst, because they’d named him, because Wooyoung felt as if he’d already known him, because he’d already been almost fully grown and ready for Wooyoung to love; only for him to never be…

And now here Wooyoung was, an almost thirty-one year old omega who had been left by their partner because they couldn’t carry a child, because he was useless and worthless, because he could never be the parent he so desperately wanted to be. Now he was alone, no children, no alpha; he didn’t even dare try meeting someone again. Not only did he feel aged and washed up by his experience, but he also didn’t think any respectable alpha would want anything to do with him.

No matter how much Wooyoung wanted that perfect family and perfect home, he clearly couldn’t make it happen…

“I got you a job, just a small photoshoot, will only take a day but it pays really well” Yeosang whispered after several minutes of silence.

“You didn’t have to” Wooyoung sighed, “besides I don’t know if I can…”

“You know Paradigm? The agency I model for on the side sometimes? They just had to fire their old team for leaking concepts/ideas to other agencies, while they look for a new team they need a few people to take on all of their pre-planned shoots. I got you a slot on one of the days, I’d be there too as well” Yeosang smiled and dabbed at Wooyoung’s nose with a tissue.

“When?” Wooyoung asked.

“Next Friday, midday until about 5/6pm” Yeosang explained.

Wooyoung hummed, maybe he’d feel a bit better by then, but he doubted it.

“Just think about it” Yeosang encouraged.

Wooyoung just wanted to say no straight away, he wanted to flat out refuse but he needed the money, he needed to do something other than this. Plus Yeosang had gone out of his way to arrange all of this for him, and he was never one to say no to his best friend.

“I will” Wooyoung nodded.

What's the worst that could happen?

“Great! Now let’s watch a movie or something” Yeosang asked, voice soothing and caring, “do you want anything to eat?”

Wooyoung huffed out a humourless laugh.

“Absolutely not.”

***********************************

Wooyoung arrived outside the inconspicuous building at 11am, taking a deep breath and checking his reflection in the window. He figured he’d done very well to hide how he was feeling inside, if it weren’t for the puffiness of his under eyes you’d barely be able to tell that he’d spent the last two weeks crying. A thorough shower, styling his hair properly and some light makeup had helped with that.

He’d pulled together the sleekest outfit he could find that was still comfortable; all black, loose and flowy. He’d polished his glasses, trimmed his nails and spritzed himself with his favourite cologne to give himself a nice scent; he never went out with his natural one, and always layered two blockers on his neck whenever he left the house.

It wasn’t like he was going to be in front of the camera, but he still wanted to look presentable, professional, hopefully make a good impression, leave his card and see if he could get more work like this again, Yeosang hadn’t been lying, this job was paying incredibly well.

Plus, he wasn’t going to pretend that the fact he’d be around a bunch of models didn’t make him feel rather insecure; he wanted to look his best while not drawing any attention to himself. The only thing worse than looking like a mess was looking like you were trying too hard…

He stepped inside, where the bored looking girl at the front desk checked his ID and muttered a few directions at him, including where he could get a snack and a coffee, where he could leave his bag and which room he should set up in. Wooyoung thanked her, but she just gave him a half smile and went back to her computer, probably replying to a mass of emails or reading a really good fanfic.

Wooyoung stopped off to get himself a coffee, sitting in the empty cafeteria, taking out his phone and texting Yeosang that he’d arrived. About ten minutes later Yeosang came back to him, inviting him to stop by a particular room.

He followed along the numbered rooms until he stopped outside room 8. There was a sign posted on the door indicating that it was the dressing room, ‘talent only’. But he’d been invited here, so he took a deep breath and knocked loudly.

He was a little surprised at the speed in which the door swung open. He came face to face with a man a good head taller than he was.

Very interesting to look at; beautiful, in a way that Wooyoung never really saw in popular media; striking he would call his appearance. Sharp, narrow, dark eyes. A pointy nose, full lips, wide chin, all framed by icy blonde hair. His shoulders were broad, his waist small, accentuated by the leather jacket he was wearing, nothing underneath.

“Yes?” he asked, expression blank, voice deep and gravelly.

“Um…” Wooyoung stuttered.

The man pointed at the sign on the door and opened his mouth to say something.

“Mingi, who is it?” someone called.

He was joined a few seconds later by a man who was just as tall, perhaps a little bit more. Aside from that they were the opposites of one another in every way.

This was a handsomeness that Wooyoung saw everywhere. Pale skin, big, round eyes, a small, slim nose and pink, heart shaped lips. His body was not as built as ‘Mingi’s’, he was slender; both his arms and legs looked like they went on forever.

His hair was dark brown, with lighter brown highlights woven through it, he was only dressed in a plain white t-shirt, sleeves rolled up, and black joggers; no makeup. The shoot didn’t start for another forty-five minutes, and he clearly wasn’t one of the first men Wooyoung would be taking photographs of.

“Not a model that’s for sure” Mingi snorted, giving Wooyoung a once over.

Wooyoung averted his eyes and glanced down at the floor, of course he wasn’t one of the models but…what if he had been? Mingi’s words were kind of painful.

“Don’t be a bitch” the other man warned playfully, like he didn’t actually care about Wooyoung’s feelings at all.

Mingi raised his hands up in defence and smirked.

“But yeah, what are you doing here? Can’t you read?” the unnamed man asked, tone rude as he nodded towards the sign on the door; yeah he really hadn’t been coming to Wooyoung’s defence at all.

“Yeosang told me to meet him here” Wooyoung swallowed.

They both frowned before the one he didn’t know the name of turned his head.

“Yeosang!” he barked.

“Yunho?” Wooyoung heard his best friend’s familiar voice.

“Someone’s here for you!” Yunho, Wooyoung had a name now, called.

A makeup artist called Mingi to come back to his chair, he slinked away, Yunho followed him. Wooyoung quickly hurried in through the door and closed it behind him, pressing his back against it afterwards, trying not to look at all of the half dressed, tall, beautiful men wandering around, throwing looks at him that bordered on curious to downright judgemental.

The scent of the room was also making him feel a little lightheaded. They were all obviously using blockers but Wooyoung had a pretty strong nose. He wasn’t born with it, his sense of smell got stronger during his first pregnancy, and it had never gone away. There was a mix in here, alphas and omegas, probably betas too but he could rarely ever identify them by scent unless he was alone with one. Everyone smelt good, great even, oozing with confidence and power. Nobody smelt sweet and comforting though, that was until Yeosang appeared in front of him.

“Hey!” Yeosang smiled, hugging him tightly.

“Hey” Wooyoung mumbled, he sort of already regretted coming, he hadn’t wanted to in the first place and now he’d arrived he just wanted to go home.

“I just got my hair finished, makeup next, come sit with me in my section!” Yeosang said excitedly, taking hold of Wooyoung’s hand and leading him through the room.

As they were crossing the room, they came to stop in front of one of the prettiest people Wooyoung had ever seen. He was about the same height as Wooyoung which surprised him, but aside from that they were worlds apart.

He had a small face with delicate features, they probably looked amazing in a photograph; Wooyoung was kind of looking forward to taking pictures of him for that reason alone. His hair was dark, wavy and rested over his forehead. He seemed to be already fully dressed, his makeup strong and smokey; Wooyoung had no idea what on earth the theme of the photoshoot was today. He was certain that it had probably been emailed to him, but he hadn’t looked at his phone in days...

The outfit was interesting, a mesh shirt, black bomber jacket over the top, lots of straps, buckles and belts that solved no purpose other than a dramatic effect.

“Wooyoung this is Hongjoong, Hongjoong this is Wooyoung” Yeosang tried to introduce them.

But it was all in vain, Hongjoong let out a small hum, and drifted towards them in a slow walk, hips swaying, Wooyoung would have assumed he’d been completely ignored if it was for the slow scan that went from his face, right down to his feet, and then back up to his face again, Hongjoong’s expression in an unbothered, or more likely unimpressed grimace the entire time.

“Hi Hongjoong, I love your hair!” Wooyoung forced a confident smile.

Another full body glance.

“Hate your shoes.”

Wooyoung’s mouth dropped open, and he looked down at his feet. Yeah his doc martens were pretty old, but he’d done well to clean and polish them, they could be mistaken as a few weeks old and not the ten years he knew they were. Before he even had time to reply, Hongjoong had floated out of the room.

Yeosang exhaled a sharp breath and dragged Wooyoung over to his seat, finding a spare chair for him to sit in. At least Yeosang’s makeup artist was nice, greeting Wooyoung with a kind smile and asking him a few questions about himself.

“Seonghwa?” Yeosang called out to the man who was sitting opposite a vanity a few seats down.

‘Seonghwa’ was one of the most beautiful people Wooyoung had ever seen in his three decades on this planet. Wooyoung could tell Seonghwa was much taller than he was, even when the other man was sitting down, he was slim too, collarbones very visible where they were exposed by his low cut, tight black shirt.

Wooyoung could see his face through the mirror, see his large, pretty brown eyes, his high nose bridge, his wide, red lips. Wooyoung wondered how he looked when he smiled, it was probably really pretty but he didn’t have the privilege of knowing. The man ignored him, ignored Yeosang too, scowling at his reflection, probably picking apart all of the flaws that weren’t actually there.

His long dark hair and makeup looked great, Wooyoung wondered what exactly he was unhappy about, or if the industry was just so harsh that even the most ethereal of models made up non-existent imperfections. If they felt ugly. At least Wooyoung could relate to that…

“Are they all this…” Wooyoung paused, keeping his voice low, “unfriendly?”

Because he couldn’t imagine why on earth someone who was as kind and caring as Yeosang wanted to be around any of these people.

Yeah this was only something he did a few times a month, and yeah, Yeosang was gorgeous, undeniably so, he suited everyone’s taste and maybe they were a little kinder towards him than they had been Wooyoung but…many had also ignored him, they all seem incredibly rude. Yeosang could model anywhere, why settle for this?

“Some of them…” Yeosang chuckled dryly, “a lot of them are just pissy and tired. They’ve had to hop all over the city for photoshoots because of what’s going on with the company; it’s stressful, it’s their career, their livelihood, how they pay their bills...”

Doesn’t make it okay…

Wooyoung kept that thought to himself, turning back and focusing on Yeosang, engaging with his stylist again. He bid Yeosang goodbye after a while, figuring that he better go to the right room and set up. He’d done it enough times that he was rather quick with it, but it was far better to be prepared, especially when the models seemed especially difficult.

Wooyoung wasn’t looking where he was going, eyes admittedly glued to the floor once more as he headed towards the exit, not paying attention when he raced through the door and collided with a very solid body, it actually hurt, the force of it knocked him back, he stumbled, before he was caught quickly.

“Woah! Be careful!” the voice chuckled, but it was warm, friendly, not rude and snarky like the others he’d been hearing all day had been.

Wooyoung peeped up under his bangs, wanting to see who had caught him, who the owner of that smooth, playful voice was.

When he came face to face with the man he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, he would have perhaps fallen to the ground if the guy wasn’t still holding him so tightly.

Handsome. So handsome. His strong angular features were completely offset by how brightly he was smiling at Wooyoung, eyes squinted up into little crescent moons, and dimples…oh dear god, dimples.

Wooyoung could see, due to the fact that the man was in a rather thin, black tank top, that he had a scent patch on his neck. But given their close proximity Wooyoung could tell he was an alpha. If his appearance didn’t give that away, his scent certainly did.

It was subtle, but Wooyoung could pick up the undertones; wood, fire, and also a crispness, like fresh fruit. It made him shiver. A sense of familiarity washed over him, he had seen this face before but he didn’t know where…

“S-sorry…” Wooyoung breathed out, realising that he’d just been staring at the other man, that too much time had passed by for his response to be considered socially acceptable.

“It’s cool” the man grinned, “what are you doing in here though? Haven't seen you around before.”

His hands were still clasped around Wooyoung’s shoulders, his hold wasn’t as strong as it had been, but it was still there.

“Um…I…” Wooyoung winced at how shaky his voice was, “i’m Yeosang’s friend um…also the photographer for today but I…Yeosang wanted to see me before so…yeah…”

“Well Yeosang’s friend who is also the photographer for today…” the man teased, but it once again was completely playful, “do you have a name?”

“Wooyoung.”

“Nice to meet you Wooyoung, I’m San” the man beamed.

Mountain.

Yeah, that suited him well…

“Okay” Wooyoung blurted out, feeling his face heat up, but he didn’t know what on earth to say.

“See you soon, can’t wait for us to work together! You better make me look good!” San laughed, before finally letting him go, scooting round him and heading into the dressing room.

Wooyoung could physically feel the absence of his touch, like his fingertips had burned him through his baggy shirt, leaving imprints on his flesh. As he made his way to the studio, all he could think about was how he’d have to be a fucking magician to make someone like that look anything but good…

*********

Despite his grievances, the photoshoot went relatively well. Even if he hadn’t had the best first impression of any of the models, they were first and foremost professionals who took the job incredibly seriously; who moved and posed fluently, who followed his directions and suggestions well without any fuss.

Until it came to Hongjoong. It started off perfectly fine, they had gotten some good shots, but as soon as Wooyoung started to suggest something a bit more dynamic the man had thrown something akin to a child throwing a tantrum.

“But that’s not my good side!” Hongjoong snapped.

“Hongjoong, I don’t think you have a ‘bad’ side, can you just try it?” Wooyoung sighed.

“I don’t want to!” the man huffed.

He started to pace back and forth up and down the set, knocking some of the props out of place as he did.

“Not my fucking angle…” Hongjoong grumbled as he stomped off set and towards the door.

And usually Wooyoung wouldn’t have responded this way, he was a passive person, also incredibly empathetic, he could see the good in others, understood where people were coming from even if they had differing opinions, even if they behaved in ways he didn’t like he still managed to be cordial.

But he snapped. He wasn’t going to take this, not after the past couple of weeks he’d had. And of course Hongjoong didn’t know what he was dealing with, none of it had been his fault.

But Wooyoung had to place his anger somewhere, and some stuck up, prissy little bitch who didn’t know the real struggles in life beyond his ‘best angles’ felt like the perfect person at the time.

Not only that but Wooyoung hadn’t been working for over two weeks now; half his monthly paycheque, half his rent. That was why he’d taken on this job, because he needed it desperately, and he’d be damned if some brat’s stubbornness was going to get in the way of that.

So, with that in mind, and acting completely unprofessionally, Wooyoung stormed after him.

Wooyoung barely even registered the other people outside of the door. There were models lining up for their turn, but some of the ones he’d already worked with had stopped to make conversation, in other words, the hallway was full of people.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Wooyoung screamed after Hongjoong.

Hongjoong spun around, face in shock until he realised who was talking to him.

“You! You're not listening to me!” he spat.

“And you aren’t listening to me!” Wooyoung shot back.

“I don’t know who the fuck hired you and I don’t care. But I have certain requirements for my photographs and you wouldn’t adhere to them!” Hongjoong argued.

“You won’t do a different pose because you believe you have a bad side. You don’t Hongjoong. Whatever photographer has told you that before is a fucking liar” Wooyoung hissed, knowing full well that he was somewhat complimenting the person he was arguing with, but he was also telling the truth, he really didn’t see the problem.

“I can’t do this” Hongjoong whipped out a fan and started to flap it against his face dramatically, “I’m a professional and-”

“I’m a professional too. I studied this shit, I have years of experience, and I have an eye for what will and won’t look good. And if I have an idea, I’ll make it known and I expect a ‘professional’ model to act accordingly.”

He strided towards Hongjoong and glared at him.

“Something is out of your comfort zone? I don’t give a fuck! Suck it up Twinkerbell!” Wooyoung snapped.

Everyone else who had been muttering, laughing, and even egging on their confrontation fell silent. Hongjoong’s mouth dropped open.

It was so quiet now, and Wooyoung started to feel sick to his stomach, feeling that he’d fucked up, that he’d acted completely out of control and there was no coming back from it. His reputation would be completely destroyed because he’d let his emotions from his personal life carry over into his professional one. This would be a black smear on his career forever…

Then Hongjoong, out of nowhere, bursted out into a fit of giggles.

The second he did, the rest of the men around them all started to laugh too.

“Twinkerbell?!” Yunho cackled.

“Oh that’s so good, you should make that your handle on everything Joong!” Mingi added.

Hongjoong grinned, cheeks pink, changing his stone cold persona into something more akin to a bright, pretty, fairy creature that had blessed the earth with his presence. He nodded a few times, head bowed bashfully, like he was admitting to Wooyoung that he’d got him, and that it was only fair.

Wooyoung let out a breath and started to laugh slightly too, stepping aside to let Hongjoong back into the studio so that they could continue their shoot.

“I like your friend Yeosang, he’s funny” he heard Seonghwa hum just before he closed the door.

Shutting out the other men, and shutting out the sight and scent of a particular alpha that was making him feel a little dizzy no matter how subtle it was.

The rest of Hongjoong’s shoot was a lot of fun, amazing even. The ice around the man had melted away, they’d even exchanged phone numbers, with Hongjoong telling Wooyoung that he probably needed someone in his life who pushed him out of his comfort zone, that all the ‘yes men’ who photographed him usually were probably why he was at a stalemate in his career…

He’d just finished up with Yeosang himself when the manager called for a thirty minute break.

“Did you want a sandwich or something?” Yeosang smiled as Wooyoung fiddled through his bag to grab a charging cable for his camera.

“No…” Wooyoung mumbled, still feeling like a fish out of water here even if things were going rather well now, “but if you could grab me a coffee? I’m gonna go through some of the pictures I've already taken.”

“Sure dude” Yeosang petted his hair softly, “thank you for coming, I know it was a difficult decision, but I also know that these photographs are going to look great!”

“Y-yeah…” Wooyoung forced a smile, “if anything it’s nice to be out of the house so…thanks to you too.”

Yeosang gave him a kiss on the forehead before leaving Wooyoung alone in the studio. And he really was going to look through the photographs, but first, he had to quickly delve into something that had been on the back of his mind, now that he had privacy.

Glancing at the register he’d been handed earlier so that he knew what order the models would be coming in, Wooyoung typed Choi San’s name into his Instagram search bar. Interestingly enough it popped up straight away, several people Wooyoung knew seemed to be following him, Yeosang included.

Wooyoung took a deep breath and clicked on his profile, eyes immediately zeroing in at the numbers at the top. San was popular, insanely so, if his follow count and the likes on his photographs were anything to go by. Millions of people were engaging with his content. His pictures were a mixed bag, reposts of professional photoshoots, mirror selfies, pictures of food, a cat, and other random things. All of which had tens of thousands of comments.

Wooyoung now knew why he’d recognized San’s face, even if he didn’t have a name.

He opened his browser and typed San’s name into the search bar next. And yeah, this guy was on his way to being a pretty big deal. From what Wooyoung could figure out, San had started to come up during the two years where he himself had done nothing but spiral.

San was twenty-four, and from a village in the countryside, he’d been found when a talent scout for Paradigm was vacationing in the place San called home, and invited him to come and stay in the city for a while, just to see how things went. Things had gone well, Paradigm was a small but growing agency, and San had already modelled for some pretty big name brands as a special guest. He’d done interviews with magazines, something which Wooyoung opened up and scanned.

San gushed about his parents and where he grew up, he talked a lot about his rigorous workout routine which Wooyoung believed; talked about how he still pretty much ate whatever he wanted which Wooyoung did not believe.

And it was also very clear that his manager or agent or whatever was really trying to market him as the ideal alpha. San, like many other celebrities or influencers was asked about his relationships, and San would always admit that he was single, waiting for the right person, because he believed in soulmates, in one true love, that he was a real romantic.

As if the article wasn’t plastered with photographs of San half-naked, posing seductively, powerful gaze on the camera, muscles flexing. Wooyoung knew he shouldn’t judge a book but was he, or anyone else reading this supposed to think that San was really like that?

The man was constantly around beautiful models, he was young and incredibly attractive, the comments on all his photographs showed just how many people were ready to fall to his feet. There was no way this guy wasn’t going home with someone every other day.

And yet Wooyoung could feel himself fall into the trap of excellent marketing, because at the back of his mind he did wonder, what if San really was this romantic guy looking for the perfect omega? San had been nice to him after all…

Wooyoung quickly shook himself back to reality when Yeosang entered the room again with his coffee. San was just friendlier towards him than the other models had been at the time. And most importantly Wooyoung wasn’t a perfect omega, he hadn’t been for some time, perhaps he never was…

Once the break was over, Wooyoung went through the motions, every other model he worked with didn’t give him any fuss, every single shoot went by without a hitch.

In fact, the biggest issue Wooyoung faced was Yunho, who was adamant to chat his ear off, and Wooyoung had to steer him back on track several times, having to remind him that he should be smouldering or pouting when in reality, all Yunho seemed to want to do was smile.

Aside from that everything was perfectly fine, until Wooyoung came face to face with what he’d been trying to forget all day. It all happened at once, him glancing at the register to see who was next and San barging through the door, his shoulders filling up the frame.

Wooyoung gulped down the spit in his mouth, San was dressed completely differently now. He’d kind of picked up a western type vibe given the other models outfits and the set. The floor and the backdrop was meant to be rock and sand, with what looked like treasure scattered all over the floor, ornate chests spilling with jewels and gold. Hongjoong’s outfit had been more akin to a pirate or bandit, Yeosang’s had been soft, white and flowy, the kind of outfit that you’d wear in hot weather, and Yunho had been in full cowboy getup- a long coat, leather pants, the cowboy hat. Even if the aircon was on full blast in here, it must have been stuffy as hell to wear, the rest of the building was pretty humid; it made Wooyoung respect Yunho’s sudden sunny and positive disposition even more.

San seemed to be a mix of everyone, way more casual but no less sinful. He was in an all black outfit, the chunky boots that had been purposely scuffed up to give the illusion of a hardworking man gave him a few extra inches of height, the black cowboy hat sat high on his head, his entire face fully visible.

It was a look that Wooyoung would have found cheesy or tacky, but San pulled it off. And perhaps he pulled it off because of the shape of his body, because of the aura that Wooyoung could feel radiating from him.

Wooyoung knew San was muscular and solid due to his own personal experience, he had collided with that very frame a few hours ago. He also knew what San looked like wearing a little less clothing due to his frantic scroll through his social media and articles.

But it was an entirely different entity when he saw it physically in front of him. The black jeans hung low around his hips, fastened tightly by an equally dark leather belt. His shirt looked to be leather too, though Wooyoung could barely call it that.

The vest was black, and tight. The pointy, silver studs that were punched through the material danced across his broad shoulders, transitioning into little tassels that ghosted along his hips. San wore nothing underneath and as he walked, the vest would open up slightly, giving Wooyoung a full view of his full pecs and tiny, brown nipples.

Either San had gained a little weight or he was photoshopped slightly in his other photographs. His waist was still small, the width of his shoulders giving him an inverted, triangle shape but his abs were a little less defined than what Wooyoung had seen in those polished photographs, a softer stomach that looked a little squishy where his tight jeans and the belt squeezed him.

It was so much worse in a way. Better. But worse for Wooyoung’s psyche. In pictures San looked perfect, untouchable, unreal. And don’t get Wooyoung wrong, he still looked like that as he stood in front of him but the alpha also looked protective, comforting, safe.

“Hello Wooyoung, photographer of today and Yeosang’s friend” San chuckled at his own joke, eyes squinting and dimples popping as he bowed politely over to where Wooyoung was frozen on the chair.

Wooyoung swallowed his spit.

“H-Hello San” he stuttered, swallowing again, “if you could start by leaning against the wall, right under light number two.”

San grinned again and sauntered over to the exact spot. Wooyoung wasn’t the mastermind behind any of the shoot, he’d been given notes by the company’s manager on where to get the models to stand and how they should pose. Said manager had actually been in the room with him, leaving just before Hongjoong’s meltdown to take an important call and despite ordering them to take a break earlier, hadn’t actually entered the room again.

Wooyoung found it strange, he was an unknown photographer and she’d basically left him alone to do all the work, nobody around him aside from a couple of guys to do the lighting. But as Yeosang had stated, the company was overwhelmed, stressed, he just hoped he could do a good job. He knew he could even if it was a little rusty. Everything so far had come out great, perhaps the best work he’d ever done especially when the rest of the team from the models to the crew seemed passionate even if they were limited.

But he couldn’t shake the anxiety, he’d been feeling on edge all day, and now with the arrival of San, it felt so much worse. The manager hadn’t left anything crazy for San in her notes, a few photographs of him standing, a few of him laying down, all with recommendations of where he should position himself.

The second San stepped underneath the light Wooyoung understood, he hated it but he understood.

Because the man’s body was illuminated in the most beautiful way; light number two casted a shadow down one side of his body while absolutely highlighting the rest of it. The two tones across San’s skin looked beautiful; drowning the left side of his face and shoulder in mysterious darkness, the light hitting every single angle and line of his right.

“Okay I’m…are you ready?” Wooyoung gulped, losing every ounce of professionalism he’d had all day (Hongjoong interaction notwithstanding).

“Always baby” San smirked.

Wooyoung fought against the way his body had stiffened up from the pet name, rising out of his seat and taking a few steps closer. He brought the camera to his face and started to snap away.

He didn’t have San move, instead opting to move in a semi-circle around him, crouch every now and then, lean into awkward angles, and stand on his tiptoes.

And usually the camera was a nice buffer between photographer and subject; they appeared smaller through it, details were less obvious. It wasn’t like that with San. Though what was overcoming Wooyoung wasn’t visual, it was entirely physical, biological, and little did he know it was only going to get worse.

“R-right so next is, if you could just lay down here” Wooyoung’s voice was shaking as he scooted forward and arranged some of the props, hoping that he made a space big enough to accommodate San.

He didn’t, the man had to move a few fake coins before he finally settled down.

“Like this?” San rolled onto his back.

“No like um…face me and maybe lean your head on your hand, and the hat…remove that…” Wooyoung’s voice was weak as he tried to give orders.

And he would like to say that there was this weird psychic link between them when San immediately repositioned himself in the exact pose that was required of him, the exact pose that Wooyoung had barely explained. But he tried to ignore it, San was just a professional at work.

But he couldn’t quite shake it, not when San was laying there, torso extended, legs bent slightly as he laid on his side and gazed at Wooyoung, his eyes so pretty and warm. It was so intense, the pose intimate, the kind of way that you lay before someone in bed, be it before or after you did the deed.

And even when San’s eyes shifted from Wooyoung to the set, as he adjusted himself so that the props weren’t obscuring the view of his body or digging into him, Wooyoung still couldn’t stop his brain from heading there.

Just like he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how strong San’s body had felt against his, couldn’t stop thinking about his scent, so potent despite being subdued through blockers. And he couldn’t stop thinking about how, when San had been lent against the wall and posing, the outline of his cock had been clear through his jeans.

What happened next was natural. Wooyoung knew that it was, but he couldn’t help but feel shame and anger for not being prepared like any omega who led a professional life day to day should have been. But in his defence he figured his body simply wasn’t capable of it anymore; it had been two whole years since he’d even experienced a slither of arousal, be it mental or physical and he just figured his broken body had taken the ability from him.

The trickle of slick was so small that he could have mistaken it for sweat at first. A single bead of moisture that rolled out of him and dampened his thighs. Then a little more came, not a lot but enough for him to realise exactly what was happening; the warmth in his abdomen and the sweet scent that wafted up to his nose taunting him in a way he couldn’t ignore. His blockers might have disguised his natural, regular smell but they wouldn’t hide this…

He wasn’t the only person who noticed.

San, who had been distracted with making himself comfortable, suddenly jerked his head back in his direction, so fast that it probably hurt his neck. Those gentle eyes narrowed, his pupils dilated, his gaze dark and hungry.

Wooyoung felt like he was watching in slow motion as San’s nostrils flared, his tongue poking out of his mouth to wet his lips.

Then San growled.

Wooyoung’s entire body started to tingle and he felt himself get wetter. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe but, despite his body showing obvious signs of arousal, the overwhelming feeling was that of embarrassment and fear because he hadn’t had an alpha growl at him in a very, very long time. They used to in the few years between him presenting and being mated; but it had been what felt like a lifetime since then. And now Wooyoung rarely went anywhere other than work since Rejun left and even then, he figured most alphas could smell the dysfunction in his blood.

“Hey! What’s going on?” one of the lighting guys who was standing just behind Wooyoung asked, his voice concerned.

The man had heard San growl, but seemingly hadn’t picked up on what was happening to Wooyoung’s body right now; either he was a beta (they were always blissfully unaware) or he just wasn’t as tuned into Wooyoung as San was (though that was wishful thinking on Wooyoung’s part.)

“Sorry I…” San’s jaw tightened.

His fingernails scratched at the floor slightly, Wooyoung saw his nostrils flare again, heard him taking several deep breaths which given the situation probably wasn’t ideal, but he was very clearly trying to keep it together.

“Wooyoung, I am very sorry, I am just a little uncomfortable because of all the stuff on the ground I…” San finally looked up at him, eyes still so dark, his smile forced, “I’m okay now let’s just…continue.”

Wooyoung wanted to smile back but couldn’t quite manage it, far too mortified by what was happening. So instead he gave a quick nod and bought his camera back up to hide his face which was getting hotter and hotter by the second.

He tried to focus on the future; focus on how good all of the photographs he’d taken today were going to look. It would be great for his portfolio, it would be great for his reputation. He was pretty sure that at the very least Hongjoong and Yunho would sing his praises and want to work with him again, he didn’t care for the project. Despite hating everything when he got here, he felt a bit more hopeful when he thought about the good impressions he’d made today.

Wooyoung shifted as he paced around the room, ignoring the way the skin of his thighs stuck together and then peeled slowly apart with every step he took. Yes this was humiliating but, he’d be able to forget it soon. He was one of millions of omegas who had responded this way due to San’s presence. It would all be fine. There were only two more models after San and then he could go home.

Go home and forget that he’d ever met the beautiful, popular, whole-life-ahead-of-him, model.

********

The manager had come back a few minutes before Wooyoung was finishing up with San and stuck around with the last two models. Afterwards, when the lights went on and everyone had gone back to the changing rooms, she and Wooyoung went over his work. And yeah, the photographs were really good, but she was far more impressed than Wooyoung had ever expected, perhaps that came from his own insecurities but the two of them ended up talking for almost an hour. They sorted out his bank details, he would receive his cheque by next Friday at the latest, and she took his contact information, telling him that she’d definitely be calling him to work with Paradigm again, even put him on their payroll.

Wooyoung was flattered but honestly wasn’t sure if any of this was really for him. He could barely even commit to his current easy going job as it was, his depression meant that he struggled to get out of bed most days, there was no way he’d be able to do this regularly.

The conversation ended when Yeosang, now changed into black jeans and a t-shirt, peaked through the door, ready to give Wooyoung a ride home just as they’d planned. By the time he left the studio, the building had fallen quiet, perhaps the models were still undressing or had gone home, it was hours since the first few had started after all.

Either way he was glad he didn’t run into a certain someone while leaving. He sat in the passenger's seat of Yeosang’s car and gazed out the window, watching as the black clouds started to hide the blue sky and block out the sun. The weather reports said there would be a storm tonight, something that was more than welcome, the summer this year had been ridiculously hot and Wooyoung could do with temperatures cooling down a little, even if it was only for a few days.

His best friend asked him how his day went, if everyone treated him okay because if not he'd kill them etc. Wooyoung chuckled softly, everyone had ended up being pretty cool in the end.

He did wonder if he should mention what had happened with San, but it might have made the alpha look bad in Yeosang’s eyes, he was incredibly protective of Wooyoung after all. It might have caused San drama, might have damaged his good reputation; which he deserved, because he was seemingly very polite and sweet, he’d apologised to Wooyoung for growling at him immediately.

It was just a slip up, and Wooyoung’s fault anyway because he was stupid and lazy and wasn’t taking the right precautions. So he didn’t mention it.

Yeosang gave him a tight squeeze and thanked him again for coming, told Wooyoung that he deserved these new and exciting opportunities because he was talented and amazing. It was nice to hear, Wooyoung tried to let it sink in but his self-esteem was so low that compliments and kind words were always a struggle.

The second Wooyoung got out of the car, Yeosang pulled off quickly, already running a few minutes late for a date night with Jongho.

Wooyoung let out a sigh and rubbed his arms, the air around him feeling noticeably colder. Colder but lighter; he felt a little better now than he had done this morning, even if so many things were still plaguing his mind.

He’d gotten dressed in something other than pyjamas, he’d gotten out the house, he’d actually talked to other people and put effort into something other than stuffing his face and crying. As soon as he was alone he’d probably get back to all of that, but it had been a nice break.

Though his slither of positivity was shot out of the sky the second Wooyoung stepped up to his front door and realised…

My fucking bag…

It was back at the studio. He’d been so into the conversation with the manager and then so rushed by Yeosang needing to leave that he’d left his camera bag, something he’d thrown his keys, phone and wallet into as well to save space.

“Fucking kill me” Wooyoung groaned.

Unable to even call Yeosang and ask for a ride, Wooyoung had no choice but to make his own way back, heading to the very bus stop he’d waited at this morning. The world must have taken pity on him, as he was able to find the right change for the ride shoved into his pocket.

As he waited, a flash of lightning and a loud roar of thunder startled him out of his skin. A few seconds later the sky opened and it started to pour with rain, the wind making the shelter he stood under pretty much useless.

The forty minute bus ride was a nice relief from the rain, but he still had to walk another ten in it to the building where the shoot had taken place. And it wasn’t looking good, every single light in the building was off, the once full parking lot had only one car sat there now.

Hoping for a damn miracle, Wooyoung ran up to those big double doors and tugged on them. Then he banged on the glass so hard that he was scared he’d break it. He pressed the intercom and shouted into it, voice being drowned out by the pouring rain and the thunder but…nobody was there.

Wooyoung started to cry because that was how he’d dealt with everything lately. There wasn’t even anywhere for him to shield himself from the rain, he was soaked through, wind biting at his face, his socks making a wet squelching sound as he paced and whined. He was exhausted, freezing cold, hungry and unsure what to do.

With no other options, he started to drag himself back across the parking lot, ready to catch another bus back into the city centre and then make his way to Jongho and Yeosang's place, wait for the couple to come home so that he could crash on their couch. He was fighting the wind with every step he took, crying hard now because he felt so sorry for himself. Everything was so difficult lately, and he’d just wanted one day that didn’t go to shit, he just wanted a fucking break.

The universe had a sick sense of humour, he didn’t see the pothole due to his obscured vision and his left leg slipped right into it, he fell onto the hard asphalt, scraping his knee and twisting his ankle.

“Fuck!” Wooyoung screamed so loudly that his lungs burned, feeling his ankle throb.

“Wooyoung?” the voice was loud and clear even through the wind and thunder.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and hauled him off the floor, as he was carefully turned around he came face to face with the last person he would have wanted to see him in such a state.

“San?”

“Are you okay, are you hurt?” San asked, eyes concerned.

He was back in his black tank top, but had slung a grey hoodie over the top; it, along with his hair and skin was relatively dry, but that was quickly changing as he clutched Wooyoung carefully in his arms.

Wooyoung shrugged, going to stand up straight before his ankle burned and he stumbled slightly, only for San to hold him even tighter. A pathetic, pained whimper spilled from Wooyoung’s lips and San stiffened at the noise.

“Come on” he muttered.

Wooyoung didn’t even have time to make any objections when he was lifted up and slung over San’s shoulder, like he weighed nothing, even though that certainly wasn’t true. San was quick as he took them both back towards the building, it was only then that he realised that San had been the guy sitting in the lone car.

San opened the door and pushed Wooyoung into the passenger seat, clearly not caring that he was getting rain water, dirt, and a little blood on the nice leather sets. Said seats were heated, but it didn’t help much; Wooyoung still felt so cold even after San got behind the wheel and shut out the wind.

“What are you doing back here, and out in this weather?” San asked as Wooyoung pulled off his glasses and started to wipe the water off the lenses.

“I left my bag here and I thought I'd come back and see if anyone was about” Wooyoung sniffled, “my house keys and phone are in there…”

“Oh man, that sucks” San looked genuinely sorry, “but there isn’t anyone here, last guy left about twenty minutes ago.”

“How come you’re still here?” Wooyoung questioned, a little suspicious.

Though not suspicious of San, suspicious of the sheer coincidence of it all; a romantic might have thought that it was fate, that out of everyone who could have been here right now it happened to be San. Wooyoung didn’t see it that way though, he just figured it was life kicking him while he was down.

“My dad called me just as I was leaving; we usually talk on Friday evenings every single week, forgot to tell him I had a shoot today. Figured i’d just sit in my car and talk to him, he can really yap for hours that guy” San chuckled fondly.

Wooyoung simply nodded, feeling a pang of jealousy. He didn’t have parents anymore, no family at all to be honest. It was one of the reasons why not being able to build one of his own was so devastating…

“I’ll give my manager a call, one second” San grabbed his phone.

San simply hummed, nodded, polite smile turning into a frown the more his manager on the other end of the line talked.

“Okay, well pass my number on to them. Thanks.”

He gave Wooyoung another sympathetic look and shrugged.

“She’s going to call the guy who owns the building and see if anybody can swing by later on.”

“O-okay, thank you” Wooyoung’s voice was shaking from how much he was shivering.

“So we’ll go back to mine now-” San started.

“Oh no San, that’s fine, you’ve helped enough!” Wooyoung spluttered, going to open the car door but of course these new builds had auto-locks.

“What other choice do I have exactly? It’s pouring with rain, you’re hurt, you’re so cold that your lips have started to go blue and sitting in the car won’t help, especially when we don’t even know if anyone is going to be able to come back any time soon” San looked incredibly confused.

“I…Um…” Wooyoung stuttered, also a little confused as to why he was willing to throw himself out the car and back into the storm rather than go to San’s place.

“Or is there somewhere else I could take you? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable…” San explained, he now looked nervous, perhaps thinking about the whole growling incident, thinking Wooyoung was rejecting his offer because he was scared of him.

Wooyoung wasn’t scared of the man, he was scared of his own feelings, the way his own body had seemingly woken up and responded to San earlier. He also hated being an inconvenience to people more than anything. It was Friday night, surely someone like San had somewhere fun to go and people far cooler than Wooyoung’s pathetic ass to hang out with.

And yeah, he could go to Jongho and Yeosang’s place like he was planning to do before he fell but they were on a date, they might not even return for hours and Wooyoung would still have to stand outside in the rain.

“No there isn’t anywhere…your place is fine” Wooyoung smiled, he really didn’t want to be weird, or worst of all ungrateful, it was incredibly nice of San to help him out.

********

“Feel free to use any of my stuff Wooyoung, there’s also a hairdryer under the sink if you need it” San set some of his own clothes on the bathroom counter for Wooyoung to change into, “the door just across the hall leads to the airing cupboard, hang your stuff up in there to dry.”

“Thank you” Wooyoung whispered.

San bowed awkwardly and backed out of the bathroom. Wooyoung immediately flicked the lock before he started to peel off his wet clothes, noticing just how heavy with water they’d become once they were finally free from his body.

His ankle hurt a little less, so clearly he’d done no lasting damage, but he made sure to keep all his weight in his right foot as he stepped into the huge shower cubicle.

Wooyoung had tried not to gawk when he entered San’s apartment but it was difficult. It was big, modern too, which made a lot of sense given that San was seemingly doing rather well for himself. But that wasn’t what surprised Wooyoung at all. He’d expected a sleek and stylish bachelor pad, he hadn’t expected something this…cosy?

The front door opened into the living room, the dark wooden flooring scattered with a multitude of embroidered rugs. The L shaped couch was covered with different blankets and soft looking cushions. Shelves lined the walls, one was full of books, the others full of trinkets and small cactus plants.

San clearly liked plants, they were absolutely everywhere. Some were hanging off the walls, some were large and sat in pretty pots. They all looked healthy and well taken care of.

The walls that weren’t taken up by shelves or plants were just as decorated; San had put up picture frames, band posters and a few vinyls. There was so much to look at and yet it didn’t feel clustered or overbearing, it felt safe and brimming with life.

A comforting smell lingered in the air, wood, spice, earth; like the scent of the candles Wooyoung often burned in the fall. It was San’s scent, permeating the very air around him.

Wooyoung sighed as the hot steamy water ran over his skin and his teeth finally stopped chattering. He’d only washed his hair last night, but seeing as it had gotten absolutely drenched he decided to go ahead and do it again, trying to be as liberal as possible with San’s hair products out of respect. He admittedly spent quite a long time under the spray, just because it felt so damn good, his skin flushed and wrinkly by the time he finally got out.

Wooyoung helped himself to some of the body lotion in San’s bathroom cupboard, before roughly blow drying and attempting to restyle his hair a little. He bit his lip when he picked up San’s clothes. They were clean, he could smell the fabric softener, but of course San’s scent still lingered on them. San had left him a thin, long sleeved t-shirt, a pair of grey sweatpants and some thick socks.

No underwear…

Though Wooyoung didn’t really know what would have been more awkward, going commando or wearing the other man’s briefs. San probably hadn’t even thought about it, Wooyoung didn’t know why he was in the first place. The clothes were soft against his skin as he pulled them on. The pants fit perfectly fine, the shirt, as to be expected, was a little big, neckline dipping low and showing his collarbones.

It also exposed the ugly scar on his neck from his mating bite, something that Wooyoung always covered with his scent patches before he left the house. Speaking of, his patches had come off in the shower and were utterly useless now. Wooyoung had bought some spares, but of course those spares were also in his fucking camera bag just like everything else he had needed to function like an adult today.

His cheeks went hot, of course it wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. People always told him that his natural scent was really nice, sweet, like cherries and warm honey. But it also wasn’t something that he’d ever let a complete stranger experience, and yet now he knew he had no choice.

Figuring he couldn’t spend any longer hiding away in here, Wooyoung finally left the bathroom, stopping to hang his wet clothes up like San had told him to before making his way back down the hallway. The heating had finally started to work its magic, making this room even cosier than it had been beforehand. Wooyoung heard a little shuffling, and a muffled voice coming from the kitchen. Then, much to his surprise, a meow.

“San?” Wooyoung called out, voice still so timid he was surprised the other man heard him.

“In here!” San’s voice was cheery.

And perhaps he’d simply missed it when he first walked into the apartment, but Wooyoung’s heart melted when he saw a beautiful Siamese cat walking between San’s legs, getting in the way as he tried to portion said cat's food into a bowl.

“Why hello there!” Wooyoung cooed, voice going a little higher in pitch as he crouched down.

“This is Byeol” San hummed from over his shoulder, “I’m surprised she’s not angry at me for leaving her alone all day, usually she’d sulk.”

Byeol looked at him curiously, before slowly walking over. She sniffed Wooyoung’s hand a few times, before rubbing her face against him. She was gone as soon as she came however, scurrying over the second San set the bowl of food next to her water, scoffing it down, clearly a little hungry. Wooyoung could certainly relate.

“She’s lovely” Wooyoung smiled, standing up to his full height, feeling a little shy as San watched him.

He’d changed his clothes, dressed not dissimilar to Wooyoung aside from the fact that his white t-shirt had short sleeves. He’d also showered too, if his hair was anything to go by; slightly damp, product free and resting over his eyebrows.

“I agree” San chuckled, “How’s your foot? I see you can stand on your own now.”

“Still a bit sore but I think it’s okay” Wooyoung mumbled, feeling a little spark go off in his brain due to how caring San’s expression was.

“I’m glad it’s not anything too serious, did you want something to drink? I was going to make coffee.”

“Coffee sounds great” Wooyoung nodded.

He’d always been someone who indulged in caffeine a little later than was recommended, it was kind of cool to find out that San was perhaps a bit of a night owl too.

“And I’m starving, I was thinking of ordering takeout?” San added.

“Hell yes! I’m so hungry” Wooyoung groaned.

“What did you fancy?” San asked.

“I don’t know, I’m not fussy” Wooyoung said quickly, feeling that he had no right, seeing as this was San’s home and it was his money he was spending on the food.

“Pizza? Stuffed crust? Pepperoni? Olives?” San quirked up an eyebrow.

“Yes to everything but the olives” Wooyoung pouted, feeling a little more relaxed, he’d eat anything right now but wasn’t really feeling a salad, or a protein shake, or whatever it was that models ate.

“Got it!” San grinned, pulling his phone out of his pocket before nodding towards the living room, “go make yourself at home, i’ll bring you your coffee.”

Wooyoung didn’t know how ‘at home’ he could really make himself but he hobbled back into the living room and looked around. He always found it awkward to go to somebody's home for the first time, even if they were a close friend. San could barely even be considered an acquaintance, they’d only met professionally a few hours ago, they wouldn’t have seen each other ever again if Wooyoung wasn’t so forgetful.

It was also hard to get completely comfortable because of how he felt in San’s presence. Wooyoung was really attracted to him. Hell he’d gotten wet a few hours ago simply from seeing him just stand there.

His scent was delicious, so much stronger now than it had been, wafting through the house, and Wooyoung finally realised that just like him, San’s scent patches had either come off in the shower, or he never bothered to wear them at home. No matter the reason, it wasn’t doing anything good for Wooyoung’s spiralling thoughts.

It made him feel guilty and creepy; San was just a nice guy who had seen Wooyoung in trouble and reached out a helping hand and here Wooyoung was, thinking about how handsome he was, sneaking glances at his body and breathing him in like air.

It also made Wooyoung feel stupid, unsure why his brain was even allowing him to have any of these thoughts to begin with, why his body was responding this way. San was younger than he was, richer than he was, he was on his way to being a famous model, he could have anyone, have anything.

So what if their size difference seemed perfect? So what if they had similar tastes in clothes and by the looks of his posters, music? So what if they both drank coffee a little later than they should? So what if they both loved animals? So what if San was kind, caring, soft-spoken and Wooyoung was as well?

Plenty of other omegas were like that; younger, prettier, happier, less broken. It was superficial, it meant nothing; and while the attraction wasn’t something he could control, Wooyoung felt fucking ridiculous anyway.

“Wooyoung are you okay?” San hurried into the living room as quickly as he could without spilling the two coffees, his eyes wide in a panic.

“Y-yes San, I’m okay, why?” Wooyoung stuttered.

San handed Wooyoung one of the mugs before running a hand through his hair.

“You um…” his ears reddened, “You smelt distressed…”

Oh shit…

Wooyoung forgot that he needed to be a little more diligent when controlling his emotions around an alpha right now.

“Oh I just…” Wooyoung blushed too, “it’s just been a rough day, you know? Feeling a little worn out, and exhausted.”

Which was technically all true, the stress of the day wasn’t helping his inner turmoil.

“Well the coffee will help” San’s tone was sweet and assuring, “and the pizza will be here in twenty.”

“Thank you” Wooyoung hummed, bringing that sweet beverage to his lips and taking a long sip.

While they waited for the food, San made Wooyoung feel more comfortable by engaging him in conversation. They mainly talked about the things inside the room, San talked about the photographs hanging on the wall, pointed out who the people in them were. He seemed pleased when Wooyoung admitted that they liked the same music, and they had a light-hearted bicker over what the best songs by the artists were.

“So many plants too” Wooyoung commented.

“Got even more in my room” San chuckled.

“You’re serious about them, huh?” Wooyoung found it impressive being able to take care of so many different types.

Wooyoung used to have a few house plants, not as many as San but he certainly appreciated them. They’d all died after Rejun had left, Wooyoung neglecting them like he neglected every other thing in his life.

“I grew up in a farming community, really rural” San started.

Wooyoung nodded, pretending that this was completely new information and not something he’d learnt a few hours ago.

“And don’t get me wrong, I love the city, there is more to do, more opportunities, people are more open minded but…everything is man-made, you know? It’s all concrete, metal, glass. I love nature, I miss it being all around me, I think it’s good for the soul. So I created a little of my old home, in my new one” San explained.

“It’s beautiful in here, and you’re right, it feels good being around the plants” Wooyoung agreed.

“Glad you think so…oh hey, food’s here!” San gasped in excitement, shoving his feet into some random shoes and running down to the lobby to grab their dinner.

Wooyoung ignored the way that San simply leaving the room made his heart clench.

****

They stuck the TV on as background noise while they ate, Wooyoung giggling every time San had to bat Byeol away from her attempts at stealing some of the pepperoni off his slice.

It was now 10pm, the rain still hadn’t stopped, but inside the warmth of San’s apartment it was peaceful listening to the sound of it hammering against the windows. Nobody had called San back regarding access to the building, and as the time ticked later the likelihood of Wooyoung getting his stuff back tonight dwindled into nothing. But it did pose another issue.

Because there was no way Wooyoung was going to spend the night here, right?

San hadn’t said whether he could or couldn’t, he hadn’t said anything about the situation at all; and he was far too nice to kick Wooyoung back out into the storm, especially now that it was dark. The couch was huge, and comfortable, he knew he could sleep perfectly fine on it but; it felt like too much. Being around San was too much in general but Wooyoung figured he would only have to endure it for a few hours, now that didn’t seem probable.

“You’re still stressed out…” San hummed, not looking away from the drama they were watching on the TV.

“I’m sorry…I know it’s probably distracting” Wooyoung stuttered.

“Don’t apologize, you had a bad day, you’re allowed to feel on edge” San swallowed, before turning to look at Wooyoung, “but if it’s okay with you, I would like to help.”

“How?” Wooyoung shuddered, San looked apprehensive, but also determined and…something else, something he couldn’t quite figure out.

“Maybe I could…” San paused, like he was really thinking, “maybe if I scent you, it would help?”

Wooyoung breathed out, feeling like he was losing his mind a little more, feeling like an idiot for what he said next.

“Yes, okay.”

San grinned, looking even more excited than he did over the arrival of the pizza, but clearly trying to hide it. He shuffled a little closer to Wooyoung, closing the too large gap they’d put between them while they ate. Byeol who had been asleep on San’s lap, let out a little grumble and hopped off of him, she stalked over to the other end of the couch and curled up on a fur throw.

Wooyoung tried not to look at San, but it was pretty difficult when he was large enough to obscure anything else. This was the closest they’d been all day, other than when San had picked him up, legs and arms pressing together.

Wooyoung moved a little too enthusiastically, settling himself until he was sitting between San’s legs, his back against his chest.

He sighed happily when San pulled him closer and hooked his head over Wooyoung’s shoulder. Then San started scenting him, releasing comforting pheromones that engulfed Wooyoung’s body and pierced him right down to his soul.

Another happy sigh, San joining him this time, clearly feeling the way the Wooyoung’s body had relaxed, how his scent had changed to something calm and at peace.

They remained silent for a straight hour, perhaps more; San holding Wooyoung against him. Wooyoung didn’t know what to say, and how long San planned on doing this for. He knew it should probably stop, but he really didn’t want it to.

It had been years since he felt this good, this content, since he felt anything other than crippling loneliness. Even if it was just for right now, even if it was nothing more than a brief act of kindness, Wooyoung would cherish it for a very long time.

He could feel a heart beating, unsure if it was his, San’s or both of theirs, pounding in a synchronised rhythm. The drama on the TV, something that he’d kept his eyes glued on since this began, didn’t make any sense, he’d lost the plot, in more ways than one a while ago.

The colours of the TV blurred in his hazy vision, the noise sounded distant and far away. But that was okay, he just felt so warm, so good, so…

“Wooyoung?” San whispered, walking two of his fingers up Wooyoung’s arm like a pair of legs.

“Hmm?” Wooyoung hummed.

But as San’s fingers continued he started to feel a little more tense, realising where they were heading as they travelled along his shoulder and towards his neck.

“I don’t mean to be invasive and I know it’s none of my business but” San paused, “the alpha who gave you this are they…still in the picture?”

San’s fingers thankfully stopped just before touching the scar of the bite Rejun had once given him, back when he promised Wooyoung forever…

“Shit, no, I’m sorry…” San hushed, quickly moving his hand away and rubbing Wooyoung’s shoulders gently.

Wooyoung didn’t know what let San know the question had upset him, the spike in his scent or the way his body froze up. He took a few deep breaths to calm down, it wasn’t a big deal, San’s question was fair, it had been two fucking years.

“I-I was married…but no he…he left me, a few years ago now” Wooyoung stuttered.

“Is he insane?” San huffed, warm breath fluttering over Wooyoung’s ear.

“Huh?” Wooyoung squeaked.

“He had you all to himself and he gave that up?” San scoffed.

It was a really lovely thing to say, but of course San had no idea why Rejun had left him. As another alpha, Wooyoung was sure that if he explained it, San would be able to see Rejun’s side. Realise that it was actually all Wooyoung’s fault, his issue.

This was something Wooyoung himself believed to the fullest. No matter how many times Yeosang and Jongho told him that if Rejun had really loved him, as an actual human being, he never would have left that quickly. That there were other ways to have children even if Wooyoung never carried them himself. That perhaps it was better he showed his true colours when he did.

Better for who exactly? Certainly not for Wooyoung. Even if he no longer had any love for Rejun, he hadn’t moved on from the feeling, everything still hurt like it had just happened.

But he wasn’t going to tell San, who was still basically a stranger despite everything, all that, so he just chuckled quietly.

“You don’t even know me.”

“Maybe not well, but I know enough. I know that you’re gorgeous. I know that you have a cool job and a lot of talent. I know that you’re kind and sweet because you’re gentle with Byeol. I can tell by your voice too, it’s soft and polite. But I know that you have a fire in you, you’re about your business and don’t take any bullshit, if the way you dealt with Joong earlier was anything to go by” San laughed.

“G-gorgeous?” Wooyoung flushed, feeling kind of superficial that that was the specific thing he’d focused on.

But coming from San it sounded crazy; especially when the other man had literally seen him in his worst possible state today, second only to how he’d been last week as he mourned.

“Yep. You’re beautiful. I honestly thought you were a new hire, like a new model that i’d not met yet when I crashed into you earlier” San hummed.

“Now you sound like the insane one” Wooyoung snorted.

“Then put me in a straight jacket and lock me in a padded cell!” San declared, voice dramatic, causing the both of them to giggle.

They fell quiet, San continued rubbing up and down his arms, his fingers slipping up Wooyoung’s sleeves so that they could have skin on skin contact.

“Plus…you smell so fucking good…” San breathed out, voice almost shaking as he broke the silence.

Holy…

Wooyoung couldn’t even hide the tiny whimper that slipped out of his lips, San heard it, winding his strong arms around Wooyoung’s waist and pulling him closer.

“I need to ask you something” San’s voice sounded a little pained now, “And it’s kind of personal, so you can choose not to answer. But if you do answer, please don’t lie…”

“What is it?” Wooyoung whispered, hand coming up to rest over the one San had on his stomach, only now realising that San’s hands were smaller than his.

San made a noise, a mix between a purr and a groan, whatever it was it vibrated against Wooyoung’s skin and caused even more goosebumps to erupt over him.

“Did you get wet for any of the other alphas you took pictures of today, or was it just me?”

Wooyoung could feel his entire body flood with heat, the slither of ankle he had on show turning a salmon pink. It had already been warm in this room and laying against San but, right now he felt as if he'd been thrown head first into a furnace.

And San had told him that he didn’t have to answer, but what’s the worst that could happen if he did? He was already humiliated over it, embarrassed in San’s presence in general, plus he strangely felt like being honest with the other man.

“Just you San…” he admitted.

And part of him felt like he should apologise for how unprofessional it was, apologise for being horribly unprepared for such a situation. But he feared San might ask why he was unprepared, and then he’d have to explain that too. Explain that he’d been dryer than the Sahara for over two years.

Even in natural situations where a desire for sex and arousal should have existed, they didn’t for him. Wooyoung hadn’t even felt the tease of a heat since he’d fallen pregnant with Seeun. After Rejun left, he had visited a doctor, realising he’d missed one, his cycle had been pretty regular beforehand. She’d told Wooyoung it would come back in a few months given his situation, it never had.

And though he knew it wasn’t healthy, he never bothered to acknowledge it again. In his mind there was no need for heats when you were incapable of having children anyway…

“I ask because” he heard San swallow by his ear, “I haven’t ever fucking growled at someone before Wooyoung. Again, I apologise for it, but it just…”

San paused and hummed, clearly trying to collect his thoughts.

“It sounds so shitty to blame it on being an alpha doesn’t it?” San laughed, “but it’s the truth. The animal side of me just told me that you needed me, you also…even with the patches on I could smell you and you smelt…sad? And I just wanted to do something about it before I snapped back to reality and realised that I don’t even fucking know you! But I want to know you, I need to…”

And usually, Wooyoung wouldn’t have believed such a thing. He would think that the past few hours were a complete fever dream to be honest. From forgetting his keys, to being found and welcomed into the home of a man only his wildest fantasies could create. Said man telling him that he was beautiful, sweet, a total catch, and then admitting that he felt a strange pull towards him he’d never experienced before. It all sounded like some kind of illusion.

But if San’s tone of voice or the way he was touching him didn’t prove that he was being 100% honest, then his scent certainly did. That was something San couldn’t control, something that would prove if he was lying.

“What were you thinking about when you got all turned on?” San asked, voice slow and quiet.

“I don’t…” Wooyoung spluttered, he had no idea what he was thinking, both then and here in the present.

“Were you thinking about all the things I could do to you?” San pressed.

“Maybe” Wooyoung whispered.

“Hey, Wooyoung, look at me” San encouraged.

When Wooyoung turned slightly to face him, he was both shocked but fully expecting what happened. San was leaning towards him before he even laid eyes on him, slotting their lips together.

Wooyoung whined pathetically when San cupped his face and kissed him deeper, prying Wooyoung’s lips apart and sticking his tongue inside his mouth. It didn’t take long for him to end up on his back, San straddling him and biting on his lips.

He let his legs fall apart, accommodating the weight of the man on top of him. Wooyoung fingers dug into San’s broad back, the fabric of his t-shirt the only thing stop him from really sinking his nails in and drawing blood.

San started to pant into his mouth about the same time Wooyoung started to feel his slick seep out of him. It was far more than it had been earlier, but this time Wooyoung allowed himself to really experience it.

“W-Wooyoung?” San groaned, their lips brushing together.

“Mmm?” Wooyoung sighed, feeling lightheaded.

“Can I take you to bed?” San’s voice was pleading.

“Yes! Please, please, please…” Wooyoung sounded just as desperate.

And just like before, San yanked Wooyoung up with a force that seemed to come out of nowhere and slung him over his shoulder. His footsteps heavy on the floorboards as he raced through the house. He barged through a door that had previously been closed, placing Wooyoung down gently on a large bed that was clad in white sheets.

Wooyoung was certain that San’s room was just as lovely as everywhere else. But as it happened, he wouldn’t know until tomorrow. It might have been unspoken, but their want for one another was beyond words. Which was probably why San didn’t even hesitate as he grabbed onto the waistband of Wooyoung’s (technically his) sweatpants and yanked them down and off in a swift motion.

When he did, the scent of Wooyoung’s arousal became even stronger. San all but pounced on him again, climbing on top of Wooyoung and kissing him deeply, his hands roaming all over his legs.

“C-can I touch you?” San stuttered.

He was technically already touching Wooyoung, but he understood what he was really asking for.

“Please” Wooyoung hissed, it had been so, so very long…

San moved like it was his last day on earth. Immediately scooting down Wooyoung’s body, licking him the entire way, warm drool dripping on Wooyoung’s skin.

He impatiently pushed Wooyoung’s legs apart and the second he did, Wooyoung felt his hard and sensitive cock enveloped by hot, wet heat.

San took him all the way, wrapping his lips around Wooyoung’s dick and practically slurping. The blowjob was sloppy and messy but that didn’t take away from how incredible it felt.

Wooyoung writhed underneath San, practically sobbing as San continued going down on him. It was something he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Most alphas actually ignored this part of his body.

Wooyoung could even count on one hand how many times Rejun had touched his dick. It wasn’t really ‘needed’ during sex, and therefore not deemed as important.

San clearly disagreed. His purs or growls, Wooyoung was unsure as they were muffled, vibrating up and down Wooyoung’s length, causing his toes to curl.

His fingers tangled into San’s hair when he felt one of the man’s fingers prod against his opening. And the second he applied any pressure it slipped in, all the way too.

San probably hadn't meant that, but Wooyoung was so wet, and so ready for him.

“S-san, another…add another-” Wooyoung begged.

And San obliged, Wooyoung hissing slightly at the stretch but that slight discomfort was gone in seconds, his body helping him out immediately, the sweet scent of his slick wafting around them.

San started to pump his fingers in and out at a rapid pace as he continued to suckle on Wooyoung’s cock. Both motions were clumsy and a little uncoordinated, San was clearly just as excited as he was, losing his mind too, or both.

“Mmm…right there!” Wooyoung shrieked when San’s fingers bent slightly and hit the right spot.

Wooyoung tried to arch off the bed, but one of San’s arms curled around him, pressing on his stomach and keeping him pinned.

It all happened so fast. That hot, beautiful heat flooded to his stomach, every single muscle tensed.

San had finally had a rhythm, mouth working along his cock at the same speed that his two fingers were thrusting inside him.

“S-San I’m gonna-” Wooyoung panted.

Maybe a little too late, because even before he got the chance to finish his sentence he was cumming in San’s mouth. The other man hummed, shoving Wooyoung’s dick deeper into his throat, clearly adamant to take it all.

But that wasn’t the crazy part, not at all. It was the fact that when San’s fingers popped out of Wooyoung’s ass, he squirted.

That had certainly never happened before, he knew it was possible but he’d never considered himself capable. San actually gasped, his face popping up to stare wide eyed at Wooyoung, his chin and neck splattered with slick.

“Holy shit Wooyoung!” San giggled.

“I-I…” Wooyoung stuttered, horrified.

“I’ll be right back…” San mumbled.

He crawled out from between Wooyoung’s legs and made his way towards the bathroom.

“Alpha!” Wooyoung cried out, before immediately biting his tongue.

The word came out of nowhere, felt completely foreign in his mouth. But the feeling and sight of San backing away from him drove him insane. It actually caused him pain.

“I’m here! I’m right here!” San called out, actually waving a hand through the door frame just so that Wooyoung could see him.

“Don’t leave me, please come back!” Wooyoung sobbed, he felt fucking delirious at this point.

“I’m here, i’ll be two seconds!” San sounded equally as panicked.

And he kept his promise, racing back into the room with several towels bundled in his arms. He unravelled two of them, hiked Wooyoung’s body up a little and placed them underneath him.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry. I’ve just not dealt with this before” San panted.

“What do you mean?” Wooyoung breathed out.

He felt San’s fingers dip between his legs again, over his asshole, spreading the moisture up the cleft of his cheeks and along his thighs.

“You’re soaking Wooyoung…” San mumbled, watching his hand, looking at the way it was absolutely glistening with thick, slippery slick.

“Well yeah…” Wooyoung gulped.

“It’s…” San paused and forced a reassuring smile, “A lot baby. I’ve never seen anything to this degree before…Is this normal for you? If so, that's fine, I like it.”

Wooyoung could feel it now, and he understood what San was talking about. His thighs were drenched. His lower back from where he’d barely moved was wet and slippery. San’s own skin was still gleaming from the slick his body had expelled.

He’d honestly never been this wet before, and he couldn’t even see it from San’s perspective. He’d never had anyone comment on how much slick he produced before, not even his ex-husband who Wooyoung loved and was super attracted to.

“Do you still want to…” Wooyoung felt embarrassed.

“Yes fuck yes” San said quickly, pulling off his shirt and shoving down his sweatpants.

And clearly, Wooyoung hadn’t been the only one of the two not wearing any underwear.

Much of San’s body he had seen, much of it he hadn’t. But Wooyoung was a man, and insanely horny, so his eyes immediately focused on the prize that hung between San’s legs, somewhat surprised by what he found.

San’s cock was bigger than his, longer, thicker too but it also looked…normal? It wasn’t the absolute monster that Wooyoung had dealt with a few times in his youth. He was smaller than Rejun was too. Perhaps Wooyoung had a toxic idea surrounding the size of every alpha, but he was more so comforted by San than he was disappointed.

He would also learn, very soon, that San’s measurements would not, and did not matter.

San climbed on top of him, holding his thighs, pushing his legs apart and back. Wooyoung held himself in place even as San let go of him with one hand just to line himself up.

Wooyoung held his breath as San started to push his cock inside him. His movements were painfully slow but never stopping as he pressed forwards, until his hips were flush with Wooyoung’s ass.

“Oh…oh god…” Wooyoung shuddered.

In a weird way it felt like it was the first time he’d ever had sex. The slight pain, the stretch, the way his mind almost felt confused by the sensation it was experiencing.

Feeling San inside him felt like a memory, like an idea of what sex should feel like and yet something he’d never actually done.

And he knew it wasn’t that. But it had been so long since Wooyoung had been touched, since he’d been fucked, since he felt desirable that he considered himself completely reborn.

“Wooyoung…” San groaned.

“M-move…fuck me” Wooyoung panted.

San didn’t need anything more, he gripped onto both of Wooyoung’s ankles, holding him open before he started to thrust.

It was rough too, Wooyoung’s body dragging itself up and down the bed as San started to fuck him deeply.

“Oh fuck…alpha…harder…please” Wooyoung whined.

“Wooyoung, oh my god” San gasped, before burying his face into Wooyoung’s neck, tongue licking at his flesh.

The sounds of their bodies slamming together echoed throughout the room. Wooyoung could hear it clearly now, the wetness between them peeling off of his skin ever single time San pushed his cock further inside, it was absolutely obscene but he couldn’t care.

Wooyoung dug his fingers into San’s back, holding on as he was rammed within an inch of his life. It felt so fucking good that he started to cry. San felt perfect inside him, he felt so full, but not so much that it hurt.

It was crazy; how it felt so right despite the fact that they’d literally just met. Despite having only cum recently, Wooyoung already felt himself being forced to that peak again. Body feeling light and floaty, his eyes rolling back in his head.

He tightened up, holding San closer, as he squeezed his eyes shut and greedily prayed for nothing but that pure bliss to wash over him again.

“F-fuck are you gonna cum again?” San certainly felt it.

“Yes! Yes! It’s too good, you’re too good alpha” Wooyoung babbled.

“Me too” San groaned, “me too…Wooyoung I’m gonna…what do I do?”

And yes, in retrospect it was fucking stupid. But in all honesty Wooyoung just didn’t think. He hadn’t been thinking since this started, and certainly couldn’t now.

Yeah, he wasn’t on any birth control, he hadn’t seen the point anymore. But in his mind that didn’t matter, he was a broken omega, he hadn’t had a heat in years, it would all be fine.

He let the base urges of his sub-gender take over him. The desire to take an alpha's cock, to be bred deep, to submit.

And as San’s hips started to stutter, as he continued to ask Wooyoung what he should do even though it was obvious what he really wanted as an horny alpha first and San later, Wooyoung made his decision.

He hugged San’s shoulders tightly, legs bracing around his hips, keeping him close and locked against him.

San’s lips attacked his again, less so in a kiss and more as moral support as he pushed in as far as he could, body jerking, groaning into Wooyoung’s mouth.

Wooyoung’s own orgasm hit him as soon as he felt it. The warmth that flooded inside him as San started to cum felt so good that he could hardly stand it. He continued to squeeze around San, spreading his own cum between their bodies.

He took several deep breaths, fingers carding through San’s sweaty hair, waiting for the other man to come down, but San wasn’t going to be done any time soon.

Wooyoung barely had any time to really react as San quickly pulled out, his release pouring out of his used hole making him even wetter than he had been.

And he barely had time to react as San flipped him over, his hips up, face pressed into to the pillows.

“San?” Wooyoung squeaked out.

San grabbed his ass and spread his cheeks, nails roughly digging into his flesh.

“Yeah, just keep still…right there…” San murmured.

Then he entered Wooyoung again, far less resistance this time but he certainly felt every single inch slip inside him.

San grabbed onto his hips, shallow thrusts now, hissing at the feeling of his sensitive dick stroking along Wooyoung’s walls.

Wooyoung’s eyes bulged in surprise, curling his fists into the sheets. It didn’t hurt, and he didn’t want to stop. He was just amazed at how hard San still was, and that he wanted to go at it again immediately.

San started to fuck him deeper now, and Wooyoung did his absolute best to keep up his own enthusiastic pace. Though truth be told he was absolutely exhausted.

“You tapping out on me already?” San huffed, clearly noticing that Wooyoung’s movements were growing sluggish.

“I just didn’t expect that you’d want to go again…” Wooyoung moaned, more tears spilling down his cheeks.

“It’s only the second round” San chuckled, but he made sure to wipe the hair stuck with sweat off of Wooyoung’s forehead and tuck it behind his ear, just in case Wooyoung somehow found the strength to look at him.

“Ah I forgot you young alphas have insane stamina” Wooyoung puffed out, immediately regretting what he’d just said, though he didn’t know why.

“W-what? How old are you?” San grunted.

“I…fuck…alpha…” Wooyoung moaned, spreading his legs apart and arching his back even more just to feel the other deeper, “I’m thirty-one in November….”

San let out a whistle.

“Hot.”

If possible San went even harder, and it just felt so strange. Good but strange. Wooyoung was just so wet inside now in a way he’d never experienced before.

His own slick was a given, but being fucked when he was filled with San’s cum was an entirely new feeling. Rejun was usually done after the first time.

Wooyoung tried not to think about his ex. The man hadn’t really loved Wooyoung as a person, he’d just loved what he assumed Wooyoung could do for him. And when Wooyoung hadn’t he had left, he’d found someone else and gotten everything Wooyoung couldn’t fulfil from them instead.

He knew that now, knew what they had wasn’t really real. Wooyoung was over him, because he was over Wooyoung. It was time for Wooyoung to move on from his past…

“Am I hurting you?” San paused his motions.

San’s voice was pained, like it hurt to stop and for a young virile alpha it probably did. But San still did, certainly smelling Wooyoung’s distress over the thought of his ex husband.

San stopped, and that was so important, even if he didn’t realise it.

“Can you just…talk…tell me why it feels good…” Wooyoung encouraged.

San made a noise, one Wooyoung couldn’t really figure out before continuing his movements, cock now sliding in and out of Wooyoung smoothly.

Pretty much all of the resistance was gone now, it was as if San had been inside him for the entirety of Wooyoung’s life. Even with his ex husband there had always been a little friction.

Perhaps because Wooyoung had never been this damn wet before, perhaps because in the last few years of their marriage they hadn’t had sex unless it was for baby making purposes and Wooyoung had felt an immense amount of pressure to not only conceive but also keep the child this time around.

But whatever it was, it had never felt this good, and it had never felt this easy.

“I have never. In my entire fucking life. Ever felt anyone the way I feel you” San grunted.

And he punctuated every sentence with a hard thrust.

“You’re letting me in completely and it feels so fucking good Wooyoung. You’re so hot inside, like you’re b-burning up. It’s so…you’re so fucking wet oh god” San let out a throaty moan, “you feel like heaven…I can’t explain it you just…I’m not getting out until you say the word.”

And Wooyoung believed him, if the possessive hold on his waist and the way San was still fucking deep inside him was anything to go by.

His own cock hung heavy between his legs, he could feel the weight of it, feel how much blood had rushed there. He was ready to explode once more, even if the need to do so physically hurt.

“I’m gonna cum again…fuck I’m gonna fill you up” he heard San breathe out behind him.

“S-San…” Wooyoung gasped when he felt the other man reach underneath him and grab onto his cock.

San’s fingers were wet and slippery, with what exactly Wooyoung had no idea, but the smooth glide was almost maddening as he used two fingers to tease his sensitive tip.

It didn’t take long for Wooyoung to start writing, his moans pitching higher and higher as San squeezed his dick tighter and started tugging it in same rhythm he was fucking him in.

Wooyoung gripped the sheets so hard he heard them tear, throwing himself backwards to impale himself on San as deep as he could go.

Then he was cumming, he could feel his heart beating in his dick as San continued to stroke him, milking every last drop.

He could barely see, gasping against the mattress as he felt more of San’s warmth spread inside him, the man collapsing on top of him with a loud grunt.

Despite the fact that he was panting like a dog in hot weather, San didn’t stay still for long. Pulling out and moving off Wooyoung a little, just to roll him back over.

Wooyoung looked up at him, blinking the tears out of his eyes. San’s eyes were narrowed, lips pulled back to expose his teeth as he grabbed onto Wooyoung’s legs again.

Wooyoung looked down, amazed by what he was witnessing. San’s cock was still hard, and absolutely coated with cum. White and sticky, like it had foamed up from the friction between their bodies. Wooyoung had never seen anything like it.

“Oh god…” Wooyoung whimpered, throwing an arm over his eyes as San lined himself back up with his entrance.

“I…one more? Can I have one more?” San hissed.

Wooyoung simply nodded, San could have whatever he wanted. Even if he was so sensitive that he almost couldn’t go on anymore, even though he was so tired he wanted to pass out, knowing that this man was absolutely losing his mind over him was enough for him to follow through.

Wooyoung figured nobody would feel this way about him again, they probably never had. Perhaps there was actually something wrong with San, because nobody could be this perfect and want him of all people.

San covered his body with his and he slipped back inside. San’s face returned to Wooyoung’s neck and he started to lick and suck on his flesh, lips and tongue grazing his scent glands.

“You feel so good baby, I can’t get enough…” San mumbled, “...nobody has ever felt this good…”

Wooyoung whimpered as San pressed as deep inside him as possible, his hips stuttering, the curve in his cock hitting his prostate at a perfect angle over and over.

Wooyoung’s own dick had tapped out, twitching on his stomach between them but not doing much else.

The over stimulation was one of the strangest experiences Wooyoung had ever had. One second the slide of San’s cock was making him wince in discomfort, other times it made his head spin with how good it felt.

“Do you feel it? Feel how deep I am inside you?” San groaned.

“Y-yes…” Wooyoung breathed out.

San took hold of Wooyoung’s hand, linking their fingers together and squeezing.

“So much cum Woo…you’re dripping all over me…you’re so full of me…wanna give you more…wanna breed you…c-can I give you more?” San begged, he sounded almost angry.

Wooyoung turned his head, finding San’s mouth and pressing their lips together. San pushed his tongue into his mouth, licking into him once Wooyoung found the strength to hook at least one of his legs around San again.

Wooyoung moaned softly as he felt San fill him again, felt and heard the way San’s cum and his own slick squelched and squirted around the other man’s cock, too much to keep inside even as San pressed in deep.

San had said one more, and he’d kept that promise, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t go again.

They took a shower together, during which Wooyoung dropped to his knees and took San into his mouth, trying to give him one more release because the poor guy still clearly needed one.

San left the shower before Wooyoung, to clean up the towels Wooyoung had soaked, change the bed sheets and probably crack a window or two open, seeing as the entire room stank. The scent wasn’t bad, quite the opposite, but Wooyoung knew neither of them would calm down tonight with the smell of their sex all around them.

As exciting as that was, Wooyoung could barely even stand upright, muscles in his legs shaking like crazy as he tried to clean himself up. When he got out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and came back into the bedroom, San was sitting on the bed, still completely naked.

As soon as Wooyoung entered the room, San’s eyes narrowed and another aggressive growl echoed around the room.

It made Wooyoung jump, it made San jump too, the man immediately slamming his hand over his mouth, cheeks going pink.

“What the hell was that about?” Wooyoung chuckled, going from shocked to fond in a second it was clear that San hadn’t meant it.

San shifted awkwardly.

“S-sorry you just…you don’t smell like me anymore and I guess I don’t like it” he mumbled.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes, dropping the towel, climbing onto the bed, and laying down. San joined him, tugging the blankets over the two of them.

“Silly wolf, if you don’t like it, do something about it.”

He giggled as San immediately spooned him, holding him tight against his body and scenting him.

********

A comforting hand on his stomach, the warmth of skin pressing against his. Wooyoung yawned and opened his eyes, looking up to see that San was watching him, blinking slowly, the slither of morning sunlight illuminating the soft smile teasing his lips.

“What time is it?” Wooyoung mumbled, because he still felt so sleepy.

“Nearly 6am” San informed him, before leaning forward and kissing him tenderly.

“So early…” Wooyoung grumbled, they couldn't have fallen asleep more than four hours ago.

“Yeah…I just wanted to kiss you a little before I go to the gym” San chuckled.

Wooyoung blushed, weak hand coming up to hold the nape of San’s head as he pressed their lips together in quick, firm kisses.

Then San kissed his jaw, mouth tracing down Wooyoung’s chest, shuffling the blankets off him as he moved, exposing more and more of Wooyoung’s nude body as he went.

Wooyoung’s blush travelled with him, feeling shy even though San had seen and touched it all.

San stopped when he was between Wooyoung’s legs, parting them gently and giving a soft lick to each of his thighs.

“What are you doing down there?” Wooyoung breathed out.

“You’re probably a little sore…I wanted to soothe you” San hummed.

“Oh! S-San!” Wooyoung squeaked out the second the man’s tongue flattened against his opening.

He had already got a little bit damp between his legs when San started kissing them, but it didn’t take long for more slick to come.

San let out a happy little noise, tongue pressing inside his slippery, and still incredibly loose hole.

Wooyoung’s legs trembled, struggling not to clamp his knees around San’s head and try to wriggle away.

It felt good. And again, somewhat completely new. Rejun had gone down on him a few times during sex, but it had always been to get Wooyoung wet as quickly as possible to take his cock.

But San was doing it for Wooyoung, not for himself. He’d been right, Wooyoung was sore and San’s hungry little licks, while setting his nerves on fire was strangely comforting.

Wooyoung whimpered, biting on the back of his hand to muffle how much he wanted to scream.

He peered down between his legs, half of San’s face hidden behind his dick, but he could see enough, see the way San’s eyes were closed, looking content as he feasted.

“Tastes good…” San purred, pulling away slightly just to take a deep breath.

Then he went right back to it, shoving his face into Wooyoung’s ass and sucking at his hole, the purring while he did so sending tingles through Wooyoung’s limbs, making them feel all fuzzy.

But he used his minimal strength to reach down and gently run his fingers through San’s hair. As soon as he felt his touch, San opened his eyes and their stares locked.

Wooyoung blushed even deeper, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. He had no idea why he still felt so shy over what they were doing, or more so what San was doing to him, but he did.

Perhaps it was the way his body felt so light, perhaps it was the way San was being so fucking gentle. Like he was worshipping Wooyoung’s body with every lick and every tease of his lips, so soft and yet so precise, knowing every single way to make Wooyoung feel as good as possible.

Perhaps it was because Wooyoung didn’t think he deserved being treated like this. He realistically never had been when he really thought about it.

All the things San had said to him, be it the comfort he offered, the way they bantered back and forth, the long in depth conversations, the compliments.

The way San touched him, be it the tender cuddles, the passionate kisses, the rough animalistic sex or the very act he was doing now; Wooyoung realised that all of that had been missing; be it his short relationships during college that only lasted a few weeks or his marriage of 5 years.

He had met San yesterday and yet the man was treating him like a king. Wooyoung finally started to understand where Yeosang and Jongho had been coming from when they dissed Rejun.

Wooyoung was starting to realise that perhaps maybe, just maybe, he had in fact settled for something when he could have had better.

Even if ‘better’ was just a one night stand filled with passion, it was still one of the best experiences he’d ever had.

Wooyoung’s body was getting warmer by the second, he tried not to arch his back off the bed too much, wanting to keep staring into San’s sparkling eyes.

“San, I’m close” Wooyoung whispered, fingers tightening in the other man’s hair.

San’s eyes squinted up until they were two thin lines, the obvious signs of a smile on his lips as he started to prod his tongue in and out of Wooyoung’s body. Wooyoung wished he could see it, and his dimples too, though sadly that wasn’t possible.

With his free hand, Wooyoung reached across his body and gently pinched his nipples, shuddering as he pulled and massaged them, so sensitive from the lightest of touches.

Wooyoung gasped as he watched his own cock, laying hard and heavy on his stomach, start to shoot cum up his abs, some of it hitting the back of his hand while he played with his chest.

San held his legs tightly and Wooyoung almost wanted to apologise when he once again felt his slick spray out of his body like a fire hose, landing all over San’s face, neck and as he’d soon see, chest.

But San didn’t have any protests, a huge grin on his face as he pulled away. The alpha was puffing out his chest, releasing strong, dominant smelling pheromones into the air, clearly very, very proud of himself.

He dropped Wooyoung’s legs after kissing both of his thighs once more, made his way up Wooyoung’s body, stopping briefly to lap up his cum before finally they were face to face.

Wooyoung’s eyes fluttered, threatening to close. He felt so warm, so safe and so damn sleepy, mind hazy as he felt San cup his face.

When San kissed him again, he could taste himself on the other man’s tongue, the saltiness of his cum and the sweetness of his slick mixed together to create an interesting taste. San’s face was wet as he gently petted weak fingers along his prominent cheekbones, but Wooyoung couldn’t even feel embarrassed, smiling between their kisses, in a daze, his hand falling away finally because he just didn’t have the strength.

“Go back to sleep baby” he heard San murmur.

Wooyoung went out like a light.

*******

When Wooyoung woke again and checked the clock on San’s beside table he realised it was almost 11am! He stretched, a loud groan escaping his lips. He wouldn’t lie, everything hurt. His ankle still, but also his thighs, his back, his ass, his dick; everything ached, the skin on his arms bruised. But he couldn’t help but smile. Sure, this entire situation was fucking wild but, it was satisfactory, at least physically.

Wooyoung used San’s bathroom and looked around the room for something to wear. The t-shirt San had given him last night was okay, but his sweatpants were stained with slick. He was about to go through San’s closet when the door swung open. On instinct Wooyoung attempted to cover himself with his hands. San huffed out a laugh, because having any modesty in front of one another right now seemed silly.

“You’re awake!” San pulled Wooyoung close and peppered soft kisses all over his face.

Wooyoung sighed happily, he did wonder if San would be a bit weirded out that he was still here. Though Wooyoung couldn’t have really gone anywhere, not without his bag. Said item was placed in his hand once San pulled away.

“They called while I was coming back from the gym so I thought I'd go grab your stuff. I also got breakfast, we worked up quite the appetite” San winked.

“Thank you, that’s sweet of you, and yeah, we sure did” Wooyoung blushed.

San got Wooyoung something to wear before the two of them settled down at the kitchen table. Wooyoung scoffed down the grilled cheese and bacon San had bought him, washing it down with half a cup of coffee. They talked while they ate, and it was so easy. San was cracking jokes, asking Wooyoung more about his job, being sweet and curious, like he hadn’t blown Wooyoung’s back out several times last night.

When the cup of coffee was empty and the food was gone, Wooyoung looked down at the crumbs on his plate for a few seconds. A sinking feeling flooded through his stomach, and he didn’t think it had anything to do with how fast he’d eaten. It was just…he had his bag back, the breakfast was done with, what else was there to do?

“Wooyoung, what are you thinking?” San whispered, of course noticing that he was upset.

“Nothing” Wooyoung forced a smile, “thank you for breakfast, for everything really…”

“Wooyoung…” San sighed, frowning at him.

“I’ll get out of your hair now” Wooyoung continued, already preparing to stand up, grab his clothes that were hopefully dry and leave.

San reached over the table and took hold of his hand before he could, linking their fingers together.

“Don’t go.”

*****

It was now late morning on Sunday. Wooyoung was laying on top of San, their legs tangled, lips moving in slow motion as they whispered and kissed. San’s hands never stopped roaming up and down his back, through his hair.

“I really do have to go soon” Wooyoung breathed out, hating the way the very words sounded.

“I disagree” San whined.

“San I already stayed a whole extra day!” Wooyoung chuckled.

“So what?” San huffed, squeezing him tightly.

“So, I have work tomorrow” Wooyoung planned on forcing himself into going tomorrow anyway, “and you have a shoot early Tuesday morning.”

“But I get to see you again soon, right?” San asked.

Wooyoung couldn’t help but feel surprised by that. Though he didn’t know why, San had been so clingy over the weekend. He couldn’t stop touching Wooyoung, couldn’t stop scenting him, couldn’t stop looking at him, and don’t even get Wooyoung started on how much sex they’d had, he’d honestly lost count around the sixth or seventh time. He’d probably take years to recover.

“Take my number at least” San sounded almost pleading.

“Of course I’d…” Wooyoung huffed out another laugh, unable to even believe how amazing this all was, “I’d love to see you again too.”

San straight up purred at Wooyoung’s confession. Squeezing him tighter, letting his fingers dip underneath the shirt Wooyoung was wearing (his own clothes now) and roll it up so that he could run his fingers over his stomach.

San liked to do that, massage at him like a cat making biscuits. Wooyoung didn’t really like his stomach but, if San liked it then it must have been okay. He just felt so good about himself, and it shouldn’t have taken the attention of an alpha to make him feel that way but it did.

Especially when San never stopped complimenting him. San wanted to see him again, soon he’d said! Hell, San didn’t even want him to leave now but Wooyoung had to be the more rational of the pair, even if he’d acted completely irrational these past few days. Part of Wooyoung wondered if when he’d slipped in that pothole he’d actually hit his head, and if this weekend had been nothing but a dream. But there was no way a dream could feel this real right? He was so sensitive to San’s touch, his scent, his voice.

Besides, Wooyoung’s dreams hadn’t been this beautiful in years…

And maybe San had been wanting to ask ever since they'd gotten naked in front of each other for the first time, maybe it was the way the light from the window was casting over his frame.

Maybe it was because the universe fucking hated him…

“I notice you have lots of stretch marks on your tummy. They’re cute, I was just wondering if-”

Wooyoung felt as if he’d been plunged into icy cold water. San hissed, and actually started coughing, probably because Wooyoung’s scent had suddenly turned into something so acidic that it was overpowering.

Wooyoung leapt away from San like he had burned him. Mouth hanging open, unable to stop the tears rolling down his cheek.

“Wooyoung? Oh god, what is it?! What did I do wrong?!” San sounded terrified.

“Goodbye” Wooyoung hissed.

San got up and tried to grab onto him but Wooyoung smacked his hand away.

“Wooyoung?” San tried again.

The memories, the very thing he’d forgotten about while being with the other man came flooding back at a rapid pace and he couldn’t fucking take it.

“Wooyoung, whatever it is, I'm sorry! Please talk to me!” San begged.

“Goodbye, San.”

Wooyoung grabbed onto his bag, making sure he had it with him this time. Then before the other man could stop him he was out the front door, slamming it loudly behind him.

*****************************

“Are you okay?” Jongho whispered.

“Hmm?” Wooyoung had zoned out in front of his computer, holding an electric fan up to his face, he felt awful without its cooling power.

“You don’t look so good” Jongho tilted his head in question.

“Just really, really warm today” Wooyoung mumbled.

“You’re red, and you’re sweating buckets” Jongho hummed, and before Wooyoung could protest the younger man had placed a hand on his forehead, “I think you have a fever, maybe you should head out.”

“I only just got back into the swing of things” Wooyoung shrugged.

He’d not missed a single day of work for three weeks now, and he wasn’t going to slip back into old habits just because he was feeling a little under the weather.

He did feel a little bit guilty, showing up when it was very obvious he had some sort of bug; he was sick this morning, sick yesterday too and still feeling rather nauseous. But he stuck it out, kept a distance from others, and most of his co-workers gave him space, all except Yeosang and Jongho.

“Okay…” Jongho sighed, “but if you feel worse...”

“I’m fine. Just back off!” Wooyoung snapped.

Jongho’s face fell and Wooyoung winced at the sight, equally startle by his sudden outburst.

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today…” Wooyoung admitted, “Thank you for looking out for me though, I really appreciate it, and I’m sorry if I don’t say that enough…”

Jongho gave him a gummy smile and an affectionate pat on the back, he was younger than Wooyoung by a couple of years, but he had always been the more mature of the two, not one to hold grudges.

“Any time Woo. I’ll let you get back to your work.”

Wooyoung chewed anxiously at his lips as Jongho walked away. Even if Jongho was perfectly fine and wouldn’t hold his behaviour against him, he still felt bad for lashing out. He’d just been incredibly irritable the past few days and he didn’t know why. Sure, he’d been experiencing months of misery, sadness, trauma and longing but Wooyoung wasn’t really someone to ever take things out on others. He’d either withdraw himself from everyone else entirely or put on a fake smile and pretend everything was fine. And even though Wooyoung could be a little more open and bold with his friends, he never would have snapped at Jongho who was just being kind usually.

He’d first felt that weird short temper on Monday morning. He was grabbing a chai latte from his regular cafe, like he did everyday before making the walk to work, and the girl behind the counter (someone who Wooyoung had made friendly conversation with often) struggled to find the right change. It hadn’t taken long, perhaps he was standing at the counter for about two minutes longer than he usually would have, but the mere inconvenience made him want to fucking explode.

He felt so hot and bothered even though the weather was mild outside, he wasn’t going to run late for work by being held up for a few minutes, and yet he was so annoyed about it. He’d had to take several deep breaths so that he didn’t have a complete meltdown, tears in his eyes over something so minor.

On Tuesday, a little old lady had accidentally bumped into him on the street. Not hard, and usually he would have barely even felt it, stopped to make sure if she was okay. But instead Wooyoung had spun around and hissed at her.

“Watch where you’re going you stupid bitch!” he had screamed, quite clearly scaring her and causing plenty of onlookers to stop to watch.

She stuttered an apology while Wooyoung stormed off, several of the people who had stopped calling after him, telling him that he was a jerk and asking what on earth his problem was. Wooyoung wished he had the answer for that...

“What’s this?” Wooyoung asked when Yeosang placed the container in front of him.

It was about an hour before they were due to finish their shift and in all honesty Wooyoung was excited to pull his eyes off his computer screen for a few seconds.

He’d been editing some photographs he’d taken for a new restaurant that had just opened up down the street, they hadn’t hired a social media team yet so he’d filled in. It wasn’t the most fun job he’d had, especially not recently, but Wooyoung tried very hard not to think about that.

“I grabbed us some pasta! Your favourite! Just as a treat, Jongho said you weren’t feeling well” Yeosang smiled.

“Ah, well thank you!” Wooyoung gushed, excited.

He was starving, he’d been hungry all day even though he’d had a large lunch and snacked continuously for the past few hours. But when he peeled back the lid and the scent wafted into his face he thought he was going to vomit.

He slammed his hand over his mouth and retched. The pasta looked normal. Creamy tomato sauce, smothered with cheese, basil. He knew the dish off by heart, Yeosang was right, it was his favourite, from a restaurant that they both always frequented. But right now…

“Oh my god, what!” Yeosang gasped.

“I-I think it’s off, oh god!” Wooyoung hiccupped, “it smells rancid!”

“What?!” Yeosang frowned at him, “Wooyoung it smells fine!”

To prove his point Yeosang picked up the pasta, brought it closer to his nose and gave it a strong sniff, just to see if he could pick up on what Wooyoung was talking about.

“Wooyoung, it smells delicious?” he confirmed.

Wooyoung gripped the edge of his desk, his stomach lurching, he could feel the bile in his throat. The smell of the food was flooding the small office space, absolutely suffocating him. Yeosang continued to look at him like he’d grown an extra head. Some of his co-workers were peeking at him over their desks but other than that, nobody seemed to notice that the entire room smelt like a sewer.

“Well see if mine if-” Yeosang started, opening his identical dish and trying to offer it to Wooyoung, to see if there really was something wrong with the other one.

But before he could place the food in front of him, Wooyoung heaved, leapt up from his chair and raced towards the bathroom.

*******

By Thursday morning, Wooyoung’s ‘I don’t need to take time off work because I’m sick’ spirit had completely died.

After practically hugging the toilet all last night after the ‘pasta’ incident, and then for several hours this morning, he’d called Jongho, the other man not being all that surprised. He told Wooyoung to rest for a few days and come back on Monday.

And Wooyoung was trying to relax. When he’d finally stopped vomiting he’d run himself a bath. He was laying there now, turning the tap on every now and then to let warm water hit his stomach. If the vomiting wasn’t bad enough, the cramping in his lower abdomen was going to be what did him in.

Wooyoung groaned as he pressed his fingers into his stomach and gave himself a little massage. It helped, but as soon as he stopped the cramping came back.

He wished he bought his phone or laptop into the bathroom, just to play a little music or stick on something to watch. Because right now all he could hear was his soft pants of pain and the sound of the water sloshing around him. The footsteps of the family that lived above him a little. The pipes rattled quietly. But other than that it was so silent. To the point where he had no distractions and nothing to do but get deep in his thoughts.

And as he continued to massage his body and stare at the white tiles on the wall he could feel his heart sinking the more he thought about the terrifying, but obvious signs in front of him. He shuddered, feeling the tears that had silently started running down his face. He glanced down at his body, watching the way his hands rubbed his stomach.

His stomach, with all those stretch marks from all of his…

Unable to look at himself anymore, Wooyoung got out of the bath, dried off and put on the baggiest clothes he could find. He still felt horribly sick, but this time it was more mentally than anything.

He paced back and forth in his living room, shaking his head and muttering, having some crazy argument with himself, wondering whether or not he should let the denial win.

But that wouldn’t help anything, wouldn’t change the awful truth. Who was he kidding? What the hell did he think was going to happen after everything that went down during that weekend with him?

With shaky hands he picked up his phone.

{You}
Hey
Do you know what time you’ll be finishing work today?

{Sangie}
Hello Woo, are you feeling better today?
And I should be done with my tasks in about an hour
Did you need something?

{You}
Can you come over ASAP?

{Sangie}
Of course!
Is something wrong?

{You}
I don’t know

?But can you do me a favour

{Sangie}
!Anything

{You}
Can you pick up a pregnancy test on your way?

{Sangie}
WHAT