Chapter Text
June 2019
Kageyama’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking. He had never been this nervous in his entire life. At 22 years old, not even his first step onto the court of the Olympic Stadium had felt as important as this moment.
He tried to fix his hair one more time as the salty wind kept messing with his bangs. He couldn’t believe he was here, after all this time.
After gazing around one more time, he decided to enter the lot. There was a small but cozy house on the hill, with endless fields on his left and a rustic barn on his right. The sun was barely rising, casting a serene and almost surreal calm around him, clashing with his inner turmoil.
As Kageyama set his foot on the first step of the wooden stairs, it creaked loudly under his weight, nearly giving him a heart attack. He really knew he needed to calm himself, to proceed with caution. His presence here was certainly unwelcome, and the last thing he wanted was to push Yamaguchi away even further.
So, he took a deep breath, raised his trembling fist to the front door, and knocked three times. Instantly, a dog barked, and Kageyama recognized the voice he hadn’t heard in four years, shushing the canine.
Finally, the front door swung open, and Yamaguchi Tadashi’s face came into view. He was alive and well, it seemed, dressed in a mousy green shirt and linen pants. His freckles, a constellation of small dots that now spread up to his ears, appeared more noticeable than ever, as he must have worked outside a lot. His hair was longer too, now reaching his shoulders, not quite straight but not exactly wavy either.
It was astonishing how in four years Yamaguchi hadn’t changed a bit, yet at the same time, Kageyama could barely recognize him. It felt as though a lifetime had passed during their years apart, aging his former friend by ten years. New dark circles had appeared under his once bright brown eyes, and fine lines now spread across his forehead. He no longer exuded the same boyish charm. Standing before Kageyama was a man who had gone through hell and back but had won.
And even though it pained him to see one of his loved ones clearly out of place, Kageyama couldn’t think clearly. Because Yamaguchi seemed healthy enough to pick up a goddamn phone, yet he hadn’t spoken a word to any of them in the last four years, leaving them all consumed with worry.
So when Yamaguchi’s eyes widened in shock, and he muttered, "Kageyama?,” Kageyama’s vision turned red.
"You asshole," Kageyama roared, gripping Yamaguchi’s collar and pushing him back into the house until his friend’s back hit the nearest wall.
But, nothing prepared Kageyama for what came next.
"Daddy!!!! Leave my daddy alone!"
What the hell?
Small hands clutched his pants. When Kageyama looked down, he saw an exact replica of his dear friend, with the same freckles and the same brown eyes, in the form of what seemed to be a four-year-old girl, teaming up with a restless Shiba Inu to separate him from Yamaguchi.
Kageyama’s hands fell to his sides as he looked back and forth from his friend to the child. Yamaguchi coughed, likely from the impact, before crouching down to gently take his daughter in his arms and pat the dog’s head.
"Everything’s fine, Haru-chan. Daddy needs to take care of something, okay? Would you mind watching TV in the living room for a little while? Bring Luna with you. I’ll see you afterwards."
"Are you in trouble?" the girl mumbled, tears already prickling in her eyes.
"No, I’m not. Kageyama’s a friend. We saw him on TV recently, remember? He’s in the photos on the wall too," her father whispered soothingly as he stroked her hair.
Kageyama couldn’t move. He was stuck there, paralyzed, listening and watching the man who felt more like a stranger now.
The girl nodded, and then Yamaguchi let het go. She went on her way, picking up the blanket she had left on the floor, glaring at Kageyama from the corner of her eye. The dog followed her closely.
Yamaguchi ran his hands over his face, before whispering, "I suppose you’re here to talk?"
***
April 2018
"No one has heard from him since graduation?" Sugawara whispered.
Kageyama saw everyone shake their heads. Ukai, Takeda, Daichi, Suga, Ennoshita, Tanaka, Kiyoko, Yachi, Kinoshita, and Narita all wore that dreadful expression they always had when Yamaguchi’s name came up in conversation.
It was Ukai’s birthday, so the team held one of its yearly meet ups. They all tried to see each other a couple of times a year, but it was becoming more and more difficult.
Nishinoya was constantly traveling, and Asahi had started accompanying him on his trips. Kageyama was in Tokyo most of the year, where Yachi was also working now. Hinata Shoyo had left the country, taking a big part of Kageyama’s heart with him, though he didn’t know it yet. He had been training in Brazil for almost two years now, which made Kageyama ache deeply. But at least, the redhead was still present that night with them, via FaceTime.
And well, Tsukishima had just stopped coming to those meetings, and Kageyama could easily guess why.
Since graduation, it was as if Yamaguchi Tadashi had disappeared from the surface of the Earth. When they had all finished high school, Yachi, Hinata, Tsukishima, Kageyama, and the rest of the team had thought Yamaguchi was going to study engineering in Osaka. That’s what he had told everyone.
But soon after college started, they all noticed that they hadn’t heard from him in a while and began to worry.
With a little help from Ukai and Takeda, they all soon discovered that Yamaguchi hadn’t enrolled in any school near them. When Hinata went to ask his family, they only said that Yamaguchi had gone to assist a relative in another country and would contact them when he came back.
As months turned into years with still no word from him, they all grew more anxious. What if something had happened to him?
"And has anyone seen Tsukishima recently?" Sugawara inquired to the group.
"I did. I went to his last game of the season. He barely talked to me afterwards," Ukai confessed, a cigarette hanging low in his mouth.
They had tried pressing Tsukishima with questions, assuming he would be the one most likely to know something, but it only pushed the stoic man away. He hardly answered Kageyama’s calls anymore.
Everyone could feel Tsukishima’s anguish, but they couldn’t resent him for distancing himself. If he felt better with walls up around him, they wouldn’t blame him, especially not in a time like this.
"I’m so scared something has happened to them," Yachi mumbled, her eyes watering.
Kiyoko wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and then Ryuu did the same for Kiyoko.
Yamaguchi’s absence was leaving a permanent mark on the team. Being cast aside like this made them all feel as if the bond they shared and believed in was not as strong and important as they had initially thought.
"Come on, gang! Cheer up! You all know Yams’ okay. Tsukki too. I’m sure of it. They’ll come back soon," Hinata encouraged through Kageyama’s phone.
Sugawara shared a small smile with Kageyama at this. Of course, Hinata was still positive about everything.
Truthfully, Kageyama could understand him. He was certain there must be a good reason why Yamaguchi was hiding from them like this. Otherwise, he would never knowingly hurt them.
And Kageyama was determined to find out why.
That was the day he decided he would do anything to bring his friend back.
***
It was for this reason that a little bit more than a year later, Kageyama found himself strolling through the alleys of Niigata, as one of the warmer days of the year came to an end.
He hadn’t considered the fact that Yamaguchi wouldn’t have time to talk all day. Not only did he take care of Haru, but he also had a lot of work to do on the farm. However, Yamaguchi did give Kageyama directions on how to get to the nearest town. With plenty to see, Kageyama wandered around all day before returning to the lot at dinnertime.
As much as the setter needed answers, he didn’t want to disrupt Yamaguchi’s—or Haru’s—life. He could be patient. He had time.
When he came back, Yamaguchi was waiting for him at the dinner table. He looked swamped; his clothes were covered in dirt, and his cheeks were still red from his work, but he appeared content. His dog, definitely not a pure breed as Kageyama could now see more clearly, rested its head on Yamaguchi’s knees, its eyes closed as its owner lovingly petted its head.
Yamaguchi was watching a volleyball match on the TV visible from the living room. He was drinking what seemed to be whiskey, and when Kageyama sat down in front of him, he didn’t say anything at first. Instead, he poured another glass and pushed it towards him.
"How did you find me?" Yamaguchi inquired at last.
His tone was neither cold nor warm, more tired if anything. He didn’t even lift his gaze from the TV.
"I hired a private instigator," Kageyama confessed. "It took him six months to find you, and another six months for me to find the right time to come by."
And the courage, Kageyama admitted to himself. He had been scared of what he might discover and wasn’t sure how he felt about Yamaguchi’s new life.
Yamaguchi thought about that, nodded, and then rested his chin in his hands. He didn’t say anything more.
"Where’s Haru-chan?" Kageyama asked as he took his first sip of the drink. The liquid burned his throat, but it never felt as good as it did now. He needed that to quiet the millions of questions racing in his mind. Luckily, he was in his off-season, so he could drink a little without guilt.
"She’s at my neighbors’ for the night. They’ve helped us a ton since we’ve been here," Yamaguchi answered. "Thought it would be better to be alone if you’re gonna fight me again."
Kageyama scoffed. "I’m not fighting a dad."
And for the first time, Yamaguchi smiled while looking at him.
"Well, it’s my lucky day then."
It was still there, somewhere in those brownish eyes—the Yamaguchi from the past. The one who was so nice, so loyal, so fearless, that he had led their team to their first podium at Nationals. But now, it was buried under the weight of everything Yamaguchi had endured alone over the years. That realization broke Kageyama’s heart a little.
"I didn’t think I would be worthy of a private investigator. It must have cost a fortune," Yamaguchi commented, breaking the silence once more as he took a big gulp of his drink.
"I’ve got money to spare. And if I’d known, I could have spent it on Haru-chan rather than this borderline crazy man," Kageyama deadpanned.
At that Yamaguchi chuckled before shaking his head.
"Why are you here, Kageyama? What do you want from me?" Yamaguchi asked, his tone more serious now, as he looked him straight in the eyes.
Kageyama snickered because the answer seemed so obvious to him.
"I want to know why. What the hell are you doing here? Why did you hide from us all this time?"
His voice broke on the last sentence. He didn’t want to hide it at all. He only wished his friend would see how worried they all were, to understand the pain his absence had caused. How many sleepless nights had Kageyama spent, wondering if Yamaguchi was okay?
Yamaguchi’s eyes became glassy too, but he still wore a small smile—the saddest smile Kageyama had ever seen on him.
"Well. It’s a long story."
Kageyama had been ready to hear it all.
"I’ve got all night," he whispered, sliding his drink over for another pour.
He felt like he would need it.