Archive of Our Own ^beta

The dusk brings with it the beginnings of a storm, the rain that begins to fall a sign of what is to come. Sean is already soaked to the bone, and the growing wind sends a violent shudder through his body. But still he sits, motionless. He cannot bring himself to leave, not just yet. 

In loving memory of

Eric Thomas Stevenson

Beloved son and friend

A singular rose lies strewn across the damp earth, petals already beginning to droop. Typical. The others never really cared for Eric, not like he once did. Or evidently, still does. This whole situation has hit him far harder than he could have imagined in his worst nightmares. He thought he had moved on, made a life for himself away from all this. Clearly he had just been fooling himself. 

Sean tilts his face towards the weeping sky and screams: his confusion, his grief, his anger, everything pouring out all at once. His cries echo out, startling a bird from its roost. It is not fair. One stupid mistake and his friend paid the ultimate price. 

Below him, Eric lies, cold and now at peace. Sean envies him, just a little. He doesn’t have to deal with the pain, the confusion, the unexpected grief that wells inside of him, ready to spill over at any moment. Eric gets to rest, far above all that nonsense now. 

The ghosts of what could have been haunt his every step. It had been years since they last talked. They were close childhood friends, doing everything together. But then they grew up. Something grew inside of him that he didn’t want to confront, and he pushed Eric away. It seemed easier, better. It hurt too much to keep him close. 

Sean hates his past self for that.

“Even like this, I still can’t find the words to say,” Sean murmurs, words stolen by the rising wind. “You know how bad I always was at that. There’s so many things I wish I’d had the balls to say to you. Today, yesterday, way back then when things were still good. I’m sorry for how we left things, though. I never stopped caring. I -.” He pauses. “Oh fuck it. None of that matters now. You’re dead.” There. He has finally said the words. “You’re dead, and never coming back. And I’m left here, a wreck. What am I supposed to do now?”