Chapter Text
His aching arms pushed the shopping cart full of groceries for the week. The boxes of protein bars and indulgent junk food threatened to fall when he turned toward the cereal aisle. Tan wished he could have taken better care of himself these last few days, but everything felt like it was too much. Work was a good distraction, but he couldn’t avoid his apartment or feelings forever. Shaking his head, he mixed up his thoughts about his problems and replaced them with the question of which cereal would be chosen for the week.
Looking at the options in the aisle, he let go of the cart and glanced around. Corn flakes were the default option, but something new would be nice. He inspected a box of Honey Nut Cheerios when he felt a tug on his cargo pants. Thinking it was a stray box, he stepped back from the aisle to see it wasn’t touching him. A small boy gripped his pant leg, smiling at him through his black bowl-cut hair. Tan’s eyes widened, and he waved hello to him, wondering where the little guy had come from.
“Hi there, are you lost?” asked Tan, looking down at the boy.
The boy shook his head back and forth and pointed up at the cereal above him. “ I want Cheerio!” he exclaimed, grasping towards the boxes.
Looking up the aisle and behind him, Tan couldn’t see anyone coming for the boy. His mother must be in the store, unaware her son had wandered off alone.
Tan squatted down to the boy's height and spoke. “Tell you what, I’ll get you a box of Cheerios, and then we’ll find your mom, okay?”
The boy nodded in agreement, and after Tan picked out a box of Cheerios, he took the little boy’s hand and pushed his cart near the front of the store. The cashier lines were full of busy customers, and the attendant at the help desk seemed to be busy on the phone. Tan frowned but figured a few minutes of waiting would be fine.
“Awh, waiting for mom, you guys?” said an old lady, her cart stopping in front of the duo. Before Tan could reply, she rested a hand on his arm. “Y’know, it’s good to see fathers who can handle their kids. Your little guy is so adorable!”
“Thanks.” spat out Tan before the old lady went off with her shopping cart. The attendant called for them, and he went up to talk to them. A few moments later, an intercom announcement united the boy with his mom. After several thank yous and a speedy checkout, Tan was on his way home, taking it easy and enjoying the late afternoon drive home.
The light pop on the radio eased him into his seat when he remembered what the old lady had said.
Father.
He slammed his foot on the brake, but it was too late. He was in the middle of the road after the light had turned red. Tan stepped on the gas all the way home with no other options. The word echoed in his head as he unloaded the groceries in his car, put them away, and made himself some steak and minute rice for dinner. The bite of steak he had been gnawing on for the past ten minutes felt heavy to swallow. Tan pushed his plate to the side, opened the fridge to grab a beer, and collapsed onto the kitchen floor.
The bitter liquid soothed his throat, but couldn’t help the sobs afterward. He heaved, letting out the pain, the betrayal, the anger, the sadness, but most of all, the loss. Bonnie and he had their ups and downs, but he hoped they could have worked it out. He even considered taking her back, but it wasn’t Bonnie he wanted; it was his hopes and dreams for them. The wedding where all his friends and family would see him and his bride, the day they would announce their family was growing, and the American dream family fantasy he had seen other kids grow up with.
It didn’t help that the kid at the grocery store reminded him of his younger self. It only reminded him of the child he and Bonnie had lost together. He still had that toy he bought after she told him she was pregnant somewhere buried in the apartment's mess. It wasn’t too much to ask for a family, thought Tan as he drank the rest of the beer and opened the cabinet next to him, pulling out a bottle of tequila he had been saving for special occasions.
Bringing the bottle to his lips, he sighed as he remembered his shift tomorrow morning. Tan capped the bottle, leaving it on the floor with the empty beer bottle, and dragged himself to his bedroom. His legs broke down as he fell onto the cold, unmade bedsheets. Using his feet to push his shoes off, he flipped over to pull out his phone and press a couple of numbers on the screen. With his alarm set for the morning, he placed his phone on his bedside table and pulled the comforter on top of him. Crossing his hands behind his head, he lay there, muttering his thoughts until he felt himself drift off to sleep.
Street and Luca were relaxing on their couch watching a soccer match, but it had been slow the last few minutes, with neither team getting the ball for long. He scrolled through social media for anything interesting online when he got a voicemail notification. It came ten minutes ago from Tan, but he didn’t think he had any plans with him that night. He signaled to Luca that he had to do something before getting up from the couch and walking to his bedroom to listen to the message. Street pressed the voicemail and began to listen to it aloud.
“How did I get here?” cried Tan, his words began to slur as he continued. “ I did everything I could to make her happy, but she cheated, she cheated for months behind your back, and she let you believe she loved you! Fuck! All I want is a family, somebody to make a home with and share my life with! Dammnit, I can’t take this. I don’t want to do this anymore. Everything hurts too much…”
The last couple minutes of the voicemail were wordless sobs that Street couldn’t decipher. Putting the phone away, Street ran his hands through his hair. He knew Tan was taking the breakup hard, but the things in the voicemail concerned him. It might have been his shaken state, but the slurring had him worried Tan had been drunk when he said those things. In the dozens of foster homes Street had been through, he had seen what problems and drinking together could lead to. Alcohol poisoning. Accidents. Suicidal thoughts.
He couldn’t let Tan rot in misery. He had been a good friend to him since he joined 20-David and had always tried to help him whenever he needed a helping hand or ear to listen. Besides sympathizing with Tan, he also wanted to find someone special to enjoy life with, but Chris had been so on and off about their relationship that he doubted how much she cared about him. Maybe Luca could help him come up with something to help Tan out. As Street returned to the living room, Luca ended a call on his phone. He sighed and turned down the volume on the TV.
“Man, I had the perfect plans for this weekend with a friend, but she has to cancel for a work party,” whined Luca.
Street sat next to look and asked, “ What perfect plans?”
“ A weekend getaway at this new resort that opened at the coast, I won vouchers for an all-inclusive couples getaway at a bar trivia night last week. It sucks I’m going to miss out on all the food and fun.” Luca said, taking the vouchers out of his pocket to show Street.
“Wow, sweet. Since you can’t go with her, could I take them off your hands?” asked Street.
Luca smirked at Street, turning himself to look at him. “You got some hot date you want to woo?”
“I wish, I…” Street considered what he was going to say. On one hand, Luca could help out, but on the other hand, he didn’t want Luca and him checking on him. What if Tan rejected his offer to go away for the weekend? Or what if it caused him to get worse? If he needed help, he could always reach out to Luca later. He felt he could connect with Tan and get him to a better place.
“Yeah, a hot date, something like that.”