Work Text:
When Akira arrived at the bridge, there already was someone.
A silhouette, visible against the dark night sky, illuminated by the moon. Standing in the middle of the bridge, at its highest point, the person seemed as if they were glowing. Akira’s heart felt so heavy at this sight, oh so heavy and so raw. Exposed to whatever may come.
He didn’t know how he got there in the first place, and he didn’t need to know. It had all been a haze, feverish, delusional, disconnected. He remembered thinking and he remembered the feeling of despair, a deep anxiousness that made him tremble and left him shaken, that tried to rip his heart out and make him bleed. He almost laughed. How could it feel like this when his heart was already on the ground? Stuttering in its last beats like a bird without wings trying to fly?
And he asked himself, how dare? How dare was he to feel this way when it was his fault? He could’ve saved Akechi, or at least that’s what Akira told himself.
He cried and sobbed, and he wanted to carve out his eyes for these tears, in the hope the hurt would go away if he did. Because these eyes were unable. Unable to see him. Were they?
His lungs were burning from the constant gasping for air, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like the air was getting sucked from his lungs. But in the end, Akira was left feeling hollow and empty, with burning eyes and screaming lungs.
Even though he thought there was nothing left inside him, that he finally let go, just a little bit, this constant subconscious pain came again. To haunt him. To torture him. To hold him. This feeling that he was way too familiar with. It felt like home. It was all Akechi left for Akira.
In the end, there only was his body lying on his bed, the ridiculously soft cushions underneath him. And his breath got calmer, the tears blinked away, his heart was left numb. It was like he wasn’t himself anymore, depersonalized, just watching from an outsiders perspective.
Then, there was nothing, a darkness without return. Akira couldn’t even recall how he went down the stairs and left Leblanc. Where was Morgana, where was Sojiro? He had no memory of it. And now the bridge.
A high bridge, underneath a raging river, the water shining in the moonlight. For a moment, it felt like all the stars were closer. It felt like they were shining brightly down on him, laughing at him and at the same time being some sort of comfort. He didn’t understand. But he didn’t have to.
Everything seemed so far away. The lights of Tokyo, reflecting on the water. The bed he was crying in just moments ago. The Phantom Thieves…
When he touched the metal railing, it was still warm from the relentless sun that had disappeared not too long ago. Warm. A feeling he wasn’t able to get since Akechi was dead. His fingers glid over it, smoothly, softly, lightly, as he made his way further to the bridges middle. It’s highest point.
Only then Akira chose to look up. Briefly. A little glance. And still, it was enough to make him stop in his tracks, as if he was frozen. His eyes widened slightly, he held his breath. He knew who the person was before they even turned around.
And then he smiled. A sad smile, containing so much emotion, it would’ve made anyone look away. What wouldn’t he give to be able to smile differently at him… Hair a flash of caramel, the person turned, faced him. Divine, breathtaking, beautiful. That’s how he’s always been.
It hurt so much more than when he was in his room. A single tear, gliding down his cheek, glistening in the moonlight. Why couldn’t it last? Why couldn’t it be real?
Delusional, hurting, unreal. Every breath was torture, a stumble forward. Oh, he’d take all the pain in the world if it’d mean seeing this face a longer time, even if it was only for a second. Even if it was not real, even if it was all in his head. What did it matter if they could be together at least the tiniest bit longer?
Akira fell, landing on his knees, still, his eyes remained on the silhouette, not yet wanting to let go. But the dead don’t stay. Not even his head could make it reality. This cruel, cruel brain of his. Taking Akechi away from him just seconds after he thought he had been saved. One moment here, the other gone, a silent scream piercing through the night. How could his own mind do this to him?
He doesn’t know how he got behind the railing, he doesn’t need to.
All he knows now is the feeling of falling, and he cries and he smiles, because it is all over now and it is alright, it is alright again after it wasn’t for a long time. The last word leaving Akiras lips dies in the rush of the fall. He closes his eyes.
“Goro…”
Oh, how he wishes they could’ve met earlier…
Maybe, Akira thinks, maybe they’ll meet again in their next life.
Maybe everything will be different.
Maybe, just maybe, the universe will allow him to love Akechi.
Just as Akechi had promised him.