Chapter Text
"Watch this madness, colorful charade
No one can be just like me anyway"
- Just Like Fire, P!nk
“Robin, do you copy?” Dick found himself frantically shouting into his comm.
Everything had gone sideways in the span of just ten minutes. What started as a routine patrol had spiraled into something far more chaotic and dangerous. Out of nowhere , an unknown sorcerer had appeared, wreaking havoc in the Diamond District. The situation had become so dire that even Jason had been called in for backup.
“Yeah, sorry. I copy,” Tim stammered. In the corner of his eye, Dick saw the younger Robin narrowly dodge a beam shot from the sorcerer’s umbrella.
“Fucking hell! This was supposed to be a chill night. I was gonna take today off! But no, instead I’m here, fighting some wannabe Hagrid with an umbrella as a wand!” Jason's voice came through with his usual mix of sarcasm and irritation.
A loud laugh escaped Dick’s mouth before he could stop himself. He knew Jason was just complaining for the sake of it, mostly to annoy Bruce. But Bruce, of course, ignored Jason’s ranting and calmly handed out new orders.
“Hood, cover Robin. Nightwing, Robin, you two act as a distraction. I need to get close enough to detain the sorcerer.”
Dick echoed the others’ “Copy” and grappled over to where Tim and Jason were standing. Tim was trying to talk the sorcerer down, but it obviously wasn’t working.
The sorcerer, a middle-aged man in a black robe and a stereotypical witch hat, waved his purple umbrella with a snarl. “Shut up, little bat, and move aside.”
He fired another beam at Tim, but Jason yanked him out of the way just in time. They really needed to be more careful now, especially since the sorcerer seemed to be growing more agitated by the second.
Jason, however, didn’t seem to have gotten the memo. “Shut up, and don’t talk to him like that!” he growled back at the sorcerer.
The man sneered, his voice dripping with mockery. “How touching —Red Hood protecting Robin. Weren’t you two at each other’s throats not too long ago?”
All three of them flinched. Dick wasn’t sure if he did too, but the sorcerer had hit a nerve. When Jason first reappeared as Red Hood, he had made it very clear that he despised the Bats and everything they stood for. His fights with Tim had been infamous, the hottest gossip on Gotham’s streets.
But those days were long behind them. The rift between Jason and Tim had healed. The picture of them both passed out on the couch, cuddling after a movie marathon last night, was proof enough of that.
The sorcerer’s grin widened. “Well, if you all care about each other so much , you’re really going to love this little trick of mine!”
Before any of them could react, a bright green mist swirled around them. The second it made contact with his skin, Dick felt an uncomfortable tingling sensation. Panic surged through him for a split second, but just as quickly as it had appeared, the mist dissipated. He looked around, confused. What had just happened?
Jason immediately drew his gun, ready to fire, but Bruce beat him to it, tackling the sorcerer to the ground. Shaking off the weird sensation, Dick rushed over and yanked the cursed umbrella out of the man’s reach.
“Don’t worry, Bats,” the sorcerer said with an unsettling grin, his voice taunting. “They’ll be as good as new in 48 hours.”
If looks could kill, the man would’ve been dead several times over. Bruce’s glare was so intense that Dick was sure even the Justice League would’ve cowered under it.
The sound of handcuffs clicking shut echoed through the night. Bruce stood, his expression as hard as ever, and nodded toward Dick, Tim, and Jason. “Agent A is on his way to pick you up. You’ll all undergo a full medical exam in the cave. I’m waiting for Gordon and will interrogate this man. Afterward, I’ll meet you in the Batcave, and we’ll figure out what comes next. Understood?”
A murmur of “Yes” came from all three of them, though none of them seemed particularly confident.
This was going to be a very long night.
When Jason woke up to sunlight hitting his face, he immediately felt a surge of irritation. The curtains were supposed to be closed—he was sure he'd pulled them shut before going to bed. Whoever had opened them was in for a world of pain. After the exhausting night they'd had, B had kept them up until dawn trying to figure out what spell the sorcerer had cast. None of it had been fruitful. Even the sorcerer had refused to say much, only insisting that the spell was harmless and would wear off after 48 hours.
Groaning, Jason rubbed his eyes and cracked one open. As soon as he did, his pulse quickened. Something was off. This wasn’t his room. His walls weren’t painted navy blue, and he definitely didn’t have movie posters scattered across them. His initial panic settled into a strange confusion as he looked around more carefully. Why the hell was he in Dick’s room?
Pushing himself out of bed, Jason snorted at the mess surrounding him. The pile of dirty laundry under Dick's desk would send Alfred into a fit. He ran a hand through his hair, only to freeze. His hair wasn’t supposed to be that straight. What the hell?
Without thinking, he stormed into the adjoining bathroom, kicking the door open so hard the bang echoed through the room. His hands shook as he flicked on the lights.
"Oh, no ," he muttered.
He stared into the mirror, heart hammering in his chest. Instead of seeing his own reflection—his sharp features and blue-green eyes—he was met with Dick's familiar face, complete with wide blue eyes staring back in shock. This had to be some kind of joke.
His breathing quickened, and he stumbled toward the sink, gripping its edges tightly. Deep breaths . In, hold, out, repeat. Okay, so he was clearly in Dick’s body right now. Great. Could be worse, right? But if he was in Dick’s body, did that mean Dick was in his? And more importantly, why was this happening?
The answer hit him like a truck.
“The sorcerer’s spell,” he whispered to himself, groaning. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck ."
Jason let out a frustrated sigh, staring into the mirror again—into Dick's reflection. At least the sorcerer said the spell would wear off in 48 hours. He padded back into the bedroom, heading for Dick’s closet. As soon as he pulled the doors open, Jason scowled. What a monstrosity. Sure, Dick had a couple of decent outfits, but most of his clothes looked like things even a homeless guy would pass on. And that was saying a lot.
After some internal debate, Jason pulled out a Nightwing-themed hoodie and an old pair of gray sweatpants. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do. He wasn’t about to parade around in some of the other disasters Dick had hanging up in there.
Before heading downstairs, Jason spotted Dick’s phone on the nightstand. A sly grin tugged at his lips as he pocketed it. Oh, this was going to be fun . He could mess with Dick’s life in so many ways now. The possibilities were endless .
But first? Breakfast.
As Jason entered the kitchen, the smell of pancakes hit him immediately. Humming to himself, he plopped down into his usual seat without a second thought.
"Good morning, Master Dick. You're surprisingly early today. If I were you, though, I’d choose another seat. I doubt Master Jason would be pleased to find you in his chair," Alfred greeted him with a knowing look.
Jason blinked, momentarily confused by Alfred's comment, before remembering— right , he was still in Dick's body. Part of him wanted to spill everything to Alfred, but a bigger, more mischievous part couldn’t resist seeing how long he could keep this up. His decision was made for him when the sound of a door slamming and hurried footsteps came from the stairs.
"Alfie, do you know where B is?" Jason’s eyes widened as his own body rushed into the kitchen, skidding to a halt in the middle of the room. This was getting weirder by the second.
Alfred raised an eyebrow, ever the epitome of calm. "Master Jason, Master Bruce will not return until lunch. Is something the matter?"
Jason, or rather, the person inside his body, looked like they were trying to figure out how to explain without pulling their hair out—hair that Jason was now particularly protective of, thanks to the fancy shampoo Roy had given him last week. It had been doing wonders, and he’d be damned if someone ruined it.
"Dick? Is that you?" the person inside his body asked, their tone suspicious.
Jason smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned back. "Nah, it’s the fucking Grinch, Baby Bird."
Tim’s—well, technically Jason's —eyebrows shot up. "Wait, so you’re in Dick’s body? And I’m in yours… which means Dick must be in mine. This has to be that spell."
Of course Tim would start spewing theories first thing in the morning. Even though Jason usually prided himself on being an early riser, this was way too early for all this bat-level crap, especially without his morning tea.
"Timbo, as much as we all appreciate your brainpower, how about we wait until I’ve had my Earl Grey before we dive into the detective work?" Jason grumbled, rubbing his temples.
Both of them had temporarily forgotten they weren’t alone. Alfred was still standing in front of the table, arms crossed, his expression calm but expectant. Uh-oh . They were definitely in trouble now.
"Now," Alfred began, voice calm but commanding, "would one of you gentlemen mind explaining what, precisely, is going on?"
Jason knew better than to think this was a simple, polite inquiry. He'd learned quickly after moving into the manor that Alfred’s questions weren’t optional. There would be consequences if they didn’t answer.
Jason glanced at Tim, who looked back at him—seeing his own face look at him was beyond weird—before sighing and rolling his eyes. "We figured out what that spell from last night did."
Alfred’s face remained carefully neutral—like Bruce had taught them to keep their emotions in check. He gave a small gesture with his hand, indicating for Jason to continue.
"This morning, I, Jason , woke up in the wrong body," Jason explained, locking eyes with Alfred. "I woke up in Dick's body instead of my own."
Alfred processed this without so much as a twitch. His gaze shifted over to Jason's body. "And who might this be, then?"
"Uh… I'm Tim," Tim replied, looking distinctly uncomfortable in Jason’s skin.
Jason stood up and walked over to Tim, ruffling his hair with a grin. The height difference between him and Dick suddenly hit him—he’d never noticed how much taller he really was. Oh, he was definitely going to rub this in Dick’s face later.
"I see," Alfred nodded, completely unfazed. "Very well, take your seats. We’ll wait for Master Dick to join us, and then we can make further plans."
Jason threw a quick smile at Tim before heading back to his chair, sitting down in the spot he'd claimed. Tim followed, gratefully accepting the mug of coffee Alfred handed him.
As Jason sipped his tea, he and Tim sat quietly, watching Alfred finish preparing breakfast. A loud thud echoed from upstairs, and moments later, Dick, in Tim’s body, stumbled into the kitchen, looking like he’d fought a losing battle with his own bed. His hair stuck out in all directions, and the dark circles under his eyes seemed endless.
“I need coffee. Alfie, please give me coffee. I might die if I don’t get some,” Dick groaned, collapsing into what was his usual chair.
This wasn’t an unusual sight—Tim did this almost every morning—but watching Dick mimic it so perfectly was strangely entertaining. Jason glanced at Tim, who was studying Dick with a mix of curiosity and intrigue. The younger boy’s mind was clearly working overtime, probably noting how his own caffeine addiction seemed to be more physical than mental, as his body was craving the coffee despite the switched minds.
“Of course, Master Dick,” Alfred said with a smile, sliding a mug of coffee under Dick’s nose.
Without hesitation, Dick downed the coffee in a few gulps. As he set the empty mug back on the table with a satisfied sigh, his gaze finally met Jason’s. He froze, eyes widening.
“What the fuck ?”
“Master Dick, language, please,” Alfred scolded lightly.
Dick blinked, then pinched himself, clearly hoping it was all some bizarre dream. Jason couldn’t help but smirk at the sight, enjoying the chaos of the situation.
“What— how ?” Tim’s voice, obviously used by Dick, echoed through the kitchen.
“Good morning, Dickface,” Jason grinned, savoring his tea like it was the most normal morning in the world. This was beyond entertaining.
“The spell…” Dick groaned, realization dawning as he let his head thunk onto the table with a heavy sigh.
“Hey, careful with my face!” Tim yelped. “No bruises!”
“Shut up, Jaybird, I’m not even in your body,” Dick mumbled, voice muffled against the table.
“Nope, because Timberlina is in mine,” Jason shot back, flashing a grin at the wide-eyed look Dick gave him. Before Dick could protest further, Jason whipped out his — or rather Dick’s —phone and snapped a picture. The flash went off, capturing Dick’s exhausted, bewildered expression on Tim’s face perfectly. Priceless.
Jason pocketed the phone with a satisfied smirk while Tim launched into a quick explanation about the spell. Dick could only groan in response. They all came to the mutual conclusion that they’d have to wait for Bruce to return from the emergency meeting at Wayne Enterprises before they could deal with any of this.
“ Wait ,” Dick suddenly piped up, “isn’t today a school day?”
All eyes immediately turned toward Jason’s body. Tim, still inhabiting it, blinked, eyes going wide with panic before he cursed loudly enough that even Alfred would have considered washing his mouth with soap. Fortunately for him, Alfred had already left the kitchen after placing plates of pancakes in front of them.
Without a second to spare, Tim jumped up and rushed into the living room. When he came back, he was holding his tablet, furiously tapping away on it. Jason and Dick exchanged confused glances as Tim hunched over the device, clearly up to something.
“What are you doing, Tim?” Jason asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Uh, nothing?”
Neither of them bought that for a second. When Tim refused to give a straight answer, Dick stood up and swiped the tablet out of his hands. His eyes scanned the screen before he wordlessly passed it over to Jason.
Jason’s eyes widened when he saw what was on the screen. It was a school attendance log from Tim’s school, and next to Tim’s name was a green checkmark, showing that he was marked as present. But that was impossible—Tim was right here, sitting in Jason’s body.
“Are you seriously hacking your school attendance?” Jason asked, a small laugh escaping him. “That explains a lot .”
Tim, in Jason’s body, paled. “Jason, please, you can’t tell Bruce! I barely do it anymore, I swear.”
Dick, always the peacemaker, chimed in with a wink. “Relax, Tim. We trust you. Besides, it’s not like I’m itching to go to school in your body anyway.”
A comfortable silence fell over them as they continued eating. Then Jason, ever the instigator, broke it. “What do you guys say about messing with B? We’re stuck like this for two days, might as well have some fun with it.”
The twin grins that spread across his brothers’ faces said more than words ever could. This was going to be amazing .