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Chapter Text

Hubert stared despondently at the empty outline of his Lady’s bed. Of course she had the foresight to leave a pillow decoy, but such simple tactics could never fool him. It was most likely meant for that Aegir boy.

And yet the fact remained that his lady had left without him.

The academic year was ramping up after all, and their plans were just being set in motion. She must have been, understandably, exhausted, and in such a state she had forgotten him. The idea that she hadn’t wanted his company was easily disregarded; his Lady would never leave without him.

Perhaps a more physical reminder was in order. The self deprecating girl in the Golden Deer house (threat level: little to none, and thus unimportant) had murmured something about keeping track of strays…

Yes. He would go to the market tomorrow and commission a tether. If he was persistent, he was sure Lady Edelgard would see the merit of it.

The idea of never being separated from his Lady again elevated his mood to near contentedness. He closed the door to his Lady’s room and started his search. Hopefully Lady Edelgard hadn’t gotten into too much trouble in his absence.

—

Edelgard was in deep trouble.

Of course it had to happen the one night she hadn’t taken Hubert with her (undoubtedly it was going to be the fuel of a thousand “I told you so’s after this mess was dealt with), but couldn’t she enjoy a little late night snooping without him? She was fully capable of keeping herself hidden.

Or so she had thought.

The cold green eyes of the Golden House leader belied his smile. “So, Princess, what brings you to the Holy Mausoleum this evening?”

Edelgard tilted her chin up. “I could ask the same of you.” Time spent in the Adrestian court has left her composure unshakable, but internally her thoughts raced. If Hubert were here, he would’ve taken care of Claude already, but as it was, they were at an impasse. Edelgard had no long range weaponry on her, and he would be expecting a frontal assault. And who wouldn’t miss the future head of an entire nation going missing anyway? So it had to be talking or fleeing, which would be much easier if—

“Claude! Edelgard!”

—she had a distraction.

Claude turned irritatedly towards the voice, and missed Edelgard’s small smile. He was instead treated to the sight of Dimitri flinging open the door to the Holy Mausoleum and creating cracks in the wall from the force of it.

That will surely go over well with the archbishop, Edelgard thought.

The prince didn’t seem to notice. He strode forward with a troubled look on his face. “Claude, how could you let Edelgard go into the Holy Mausoleum without informing her of the rules?”

“I just wanted to know what business she had in the Holy Mausoleum,” Claude smiled, crossing his arms. “I had to follow her in there to ask.”

There. An opportunity.

“Are you telling me you’re not curious as to what the Archbishop locks away in here? Don’t you wonder what she’s hiding?” Edelgard inwardly grinned as Claude tried to find a way to not agree with her, but Dimitri shook his head before Claude could answer.

“That doesn’t matter right now. You’re both trampling on Lady Rhea’s goodwill by being here.”

Claude scoffed. “And you’re not breaking the rules by coming in here too? Why were you waiting outside the Holy Mausoleum at night anyway? That doesn’t fit with your perfect princey image.”

“Don’t say that!” Dimitri’s face colored. “I just happened to be passing by and saw you going in. Your reputation leaves you no room to question mine.”

That had hit a nerve, Edelgard thought as she took a step back. They were so embroiled in their argument that they hadn’t noticed her slow inching away. Just a few more feet and she could run and put this behind her. She would keep herself busy so there would be no chance of them getting her alone to question her, and then—

Her smile died on her face. An ancient object had begun to rattle on its pedestal, glowing with an eerie green light. Minute tremors began to shake the ground.

Against her better judgment, Edelgard shouted, “Run! It’s going to explode!”

But it was too late. Green light flooded her vision, and the last thing she saw was the shock on Claude’s face.

—

“—ldgard, wake up. It’s going to be morning soon.”

“Alright, I’m…” she slurred, but then frowned. That wasn’t her voice. And that wasn’t Hubert speaking to her, either.

She opened her eyes to a blurry gold and blue form. “Dimitri..?”

“Ah…no,” Not-Dimitri coughed. “I’m Claude.”

Awareness ran over her like cold water. “What?” She sat up sharply, and then stood. Yellow flashed in her peripherals, and she found herself much taller than she had been initially. It wasn’t hard to piece what had happened together, though she didn’t want to believe it.

“Yes,” a familiar voice wavered from behind her, and she turned to find a blushing version of herself. “We might have an issue.” 

Chapter Text

“Okay, so we know that the artifact turned green on us and caused a small earthquake. We still don’t know if it’s location based, though.” Claude scribbled something down on a piece of paper, but Dimitri was hardly listening. He couldn’t stop staring at the scene of himself puppeted by someone else. Was that really what he looked like all the time?

Edelgard shot a dour look at the shards on the floor, an emotion he had never seen on Claude’s face. “It would be more of a risk to leave the pieces here and risk Rhea finding out. We could always bring them back.”

Dimitri couldn’t help but agree. Though he loathed to say it, he had seen how Lady Rhea dealt with heretics after they had been ordered to slaughter the bandits at Zanado. But… “Must we not tell anyone at all?”

“No, that would just invite trouble. Having the three future leaders of the continent suddenly vulnerable? That’s too good of an opportunity to pass up.” There was a flash of the Blaiddyd crest in the corner of his eyes, and the quill Claude was writing with snapped with a loud crack. He held it up in disgust. “How do you live like this?”

“I agree,” Edelgard said. Steely green eyes pinned him in place with an intensity that felt wrong on Claude’s face. “We just need to focus on pretending to be each other for a day until we can meet again tonight.“

Dimitri nodded, before a thought froze him in his tracks. “Are you trying to kill me?”

Claude laughed and grinned at him with a perfect replica of Dimitri’s own smile. “You’ll just have to make it very convincing, Lady Edelgard. ” Then he brought a thoughtful finger up to his lips. “I mean, Hubert wouldn’t hurt you too bad if he found out, right?”

Dimitri sighed.

“Hubert will not be an issue. And even if he does become one, I’ll take care of it,” Edelgard massaged her temples. She shot Dimitri an apologetic grimace. Dimitri was not very reassured.

“No need to get so worked up. Who knows, maybe this’ll give you a chance to lighten up a bit!” Claude slouched and gestured at Edelgard, adopting a lazy grin that did not belong on Dimitri’s face. “Just think of it as a vacation.”

Edelgard huffed primly. “Perhaps you’ll learn responsibility. The Blue Lions are much more strict than your deer.”

“Must you two argue now? We need to go soon.”

Light was already starting to peek through the door; they didn’t have much time before someone came to investigate. He had already stooped down and gathered the pieces of broken glass into the red sash he’d taken off his shoulder (sorry Edelgard) and had taken a step to the exit.

Edelgard’s narrowed eyes flitted from Dimitri to Claude, unimpressed.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Claude grinned at her lazily and started to follow him out, but then Edelgard held out a hand and said, “Wait.”

They turned to her with a puzzled expression, but all she did was take a large, intact artifact and place it near a pillar by the door, conveniently hiding some of the large cracks on the wall. Those hadn’t been there the night before… Dimitri thought before his face warmed in realization. Oh. Another casualty. 

Edelgard pivoted back to follow them. “There,” she said with a satisfied, Claude-like curl to her lips. “We were never here.”

Chapter Text

Morning came slowly.

Dimitri used the dim light to sneak back to Edelgard’s dorm. He didn’t want to have to explain why he was carrying a suspicious red sack filled with broken glass like some kind of demented Santa Claus. Luckily he had memorized the dorm layout, so locating Edelgard’s room should not be an issue—

“Lady Edelgard.”

Dimitri nearly dropped the bag.

He twisted around slowly to find the vassal staring down at him, eyeing the makeshift sack.

He started to sweat. That’s it, he’s done for. There was no way he could look any more incriminating. Edelgard and Claude would just have to dig his body up from beneath the school.

But Hubert only shook his head. “I believe you should see it fit to bring me next time,” he said, ignoring the shards entirely.

“Um. Yes,” Dimitri nodded. “Of course.” Inwardly, he breathed a sigh of relief. He should’ve known Edelgard’s vassal was loyal, but seeing Hubert smiling at him without murderous intent made him uneasy. “Shall we return to my dorm? I need to replace this.” He held up the former cloak.

“Naturally.” Hubert inclined his head, and slipped by his side like a shadow. He seemed to think Dimitri didn’t want to talk as they traveled, which was great and meant that he actually believed he was Edelgard. But his idea of idle chatter was…disturbing. What was he murmuring about a leash for?

Dimitri walked faster.

They approached Edelgard’s dorm in record time, thankfully seen by no one. Dimitri murmured a quick assurance and slammed the door behind him.

He breathed a sigh of relief. Freedom at last.

The relief turned to dawning horror as he realized that Hubert was still outside. Slowly, he sat the sack down and kicked it under the bed, ignoring the sound of shattering glass as his mind raced. Hubert was observant. He would notice if “Edelgard” left without a new cloak. But was the alleviation of his suspicion really worth the cost Edelgard’s privacy?

The innocuous dresser sat mockingly on the opposite side of the room. He mentally weighed the option of not changing, but even he knew it was a futile effort.

Heat rushed to his face as he closed his eyes. Quickly, Dimitri pulled the dresser open and snagged some fabric that felt the right length. He immediately slammed the door shut, turned around, and leaned against it.

Edelgard, he thought desperately. Please forgive me.

Chapter Text

Claude sighed.

He might’ve put on a good show for Dimitri back there with the acting, but he still doesn’t know the Blue Lions house leader that well. Certainly not well enough to perfect his mannerisms. He just has to hope that no one who knows him well will look too closely…

“Your highness!” Dedue called out to him, approaching him at a jog. He resisted the urge to sigh again.

Speak of the devil.

Claude quickly fixed his posture and slapped a beaming smile onto his face. “Good morning Dedue!” He gave a bright wave.

“Your highness.” Dimitri’s vassal lowered his head apologetically. “I had wondered where you were this morning. I will correct my oversight by escorting you to class.”

Claude didn’t know how Dimitri would react to that, so he fell back into what he would imagine a perfect prince would do. He patted Dedue’s shoulder. “There’s no need to be so formal, Dedue. Call me Dimitri.”

Thankfully, that seemed like the right thing to say, because the vassal merely crinkled his eyes. “You tell such funny jokes, your highness.”

Claude stifled a grin, looking at Dedue in a new light.

“Come, walk with me,” he urged the vassal, who fell into step beside him. He maintained the brilliant smile on his face while gesturing to the morning around them. “It is a beautiful day, is it not?”

Dedue glanced at him from the side of his eye. “It is.” He didn’t say much more, following Claude as he wandered off. The vassal was obviously bewildered, but remained silent. Claude retained his beaming smile and greeted each and every person who walked past him with enthusiasm. If only Hilda was this quiet, he would be able to get away with so much more.

“Good morn, fellow Blue Lions,” Claude announced, opening the door. It slammed against the wall, causing the stone to crack. Huh, he hadn’t known Dimitri was this strong. Every eye was on him now, so he beamed at them, princely persona fully intact. “I hope we all have a conductive training session today.” A bead of sweat dripped down his neck.

“I’m hosting a seminar,” said Professor Byleth.

“My apologies,” Claude ducked his head abashedly. It was easier since this face was much more innocent than his own. “I must’ve misread the schedule.”

“Don’t worry Dimitri, I admire your enthusiasm!” Annette smiled in an effort to cheer him up. It almost made Claude feel bad for the time he had swapped the sugar for salt when it was her turn for kitchen duty. He mentally scratched her off the pranking list.

“Ah, yes. I just hoped for everyone to give their all today.” He took a seat next to Sylvain, ignoring how the other made way for him, still staring, and subconsciously leaning backwards in his chair.

“Careful, you might fall,” Claude told him with a nod, and went to take out a quill.

Claude gave himself a mental pat on the back for his acting skills. A princely smile and a few words of encouragement, and nobody suspected him of being anything but 100% full-bred Dimitri.

Maybe he would head over to the training halls later to cement his performance. Dimitri was a known trainaholic, and it would be a good idea to test his strength. A few dummies knocked over and more smiles, and no one would suspect a thing.

-

“There is something wrong with him,” marveled Sylvain, watching Dimitri decapitate a training dummy with his hands. The head flew in a wide arc through the air and slammed against the stone floor, eerily close to the bush Sylvain was hiding in.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all these years!” Felix hissed from next to him. “He’s snapped and now it’s finally showing!”

He quieted as Dimitri stabbed through another dummy, driving the lance through the fabric and into the stone ground underneath it. The bright smile he wore throughout the entire endeavor turned angelic as he turned to Dedue like a cat seeking praise for the rat it dropped at its master’s feet.

Felix grit his teeth, thinking of all the times he had insulted the boar to his face. He turned to the redhead.

“Sylvain,” he said. “When I die, tell my father I hate him.”

Sylvain nodded back, equal parts serious and understanding. He would want his father to know too.  “I’ll pray for you too for good measure.”

Felix shook his head.

“I don’t need your goddess.” He turned back to the eviscerated dummies and placed a hand firmly on his sword’s hilt. “And I won’t go down without a fight.”

Chapter Text

When Edelgard first arrived in Claude’s room, her jaw dropped.

It looked like the basement of a serial hoarder. Papers littered Claude’s desk, the walls, and even his own bed. When she took a few steps in, she nearly tripped over jars of unlabeled liquids and powders.

For the first time she understood where the mad in mad genius came from.

Then she paused. This was Claude she was talking about. He didn’t do anything without a reason. Knowing him, this was all an elaborate scheme to give the viewer a migraine before they could see anything noteworthy.

With renewed interest in finding some kind of blackmail on the Golden Deer leader, Edelgard picked up a paper off the floor and squinted at its contents. A list of pranking ideas, what a surprise. She dropped the paper and picked up another one. Then another.

Edelgard found her first interesting document wedged precariously between floorboards. It seemed promising; it even had the official stamp of the Alliance on it. A few more steps and there was a folded slip peeking out from a textbook. A glance upwards and there was a paper stuck on the ceiling.

In the end, Edelgard hadn’t found any important letters like she had hoped, but she had amassed a large stack of unsigned documents.

She eyed the papers thoughtfully. This was two weeks worth of paperwork, all of which Edelgard had completed for her own territories as soon as she got it. She could leave it be. She could also sabotage it.

In the end, she ended up clearing the junk off of Claude’s desk and taking a seat.

The Leicester Alliance will be more valuable to the Empire if it’s actually running, Edelgard said to herself as she picked up a pen.

Fifteen pages later, Claude’s door creaked open. Edelgard was too engrossed in her readings to notice.

“Claude..?” Someone said, but the graphed economic trend of the wyvern-plowed field study was more important. Who knew wyverns were so cost efficient? Maybe Edelgard could ‘accidentally’ slip this idea to the Minister of Adrestian Agricultural Affairs the next time they held a meeting.

“Claude!” Someone cuffed her on the ear.

“What.” Edelgard glared up at her mysterious attacker. Lysithea huffed at her, and any budding irritation she felt melted away. “Oh, hello Lysithea.”

Lysithea scoffed at her. “Don’t, ‘hello Lysithea’ me as if I am a child! If anything you are the child, skipping class as you did. Have you no shame?”

“Um,” Edelgard said, looking down at her desk uneasily. She had skipped class? “I was doing paperwork?”

If anything, Lysithea became more enraged. “As if I could be fooled that easily!” She swiped up the paper on Edelgard’s desk. “This is—“ she blinked. Lysithea raised the paper up to eye level. “This is paperwork.”

“Claude’s doing whatnow?” Hilda’s voice came from inside the doorway. She looked around, raising a scandalized hand to her chest. “You skipped class to do paperwork? How dutiful.” She grinned at him with half-lidded eyes. “Who are you and what have you done with the real Claude?”

Edelgard froze, her mind racing. That was a joke.

It had to be.

But what if it was really a warning about her horrible acting skills? Does Hilda know? Her hand twitch towards her axe hidden beneath the desk.

“I think it’s a good thing you’re finally acting your age,” Lysithea said to Claude, oblivious to Edelgard’s internal panic.

“I’d better go tell Lorenz you’ve decided to act boring,” Hilda pouted, spinning away from them. “If we get lucky he might have a coronary and we’ll be free of him. Maybe if we get really lucky he’ll stop harassing Marianne with his romantic overtures!”

“He had better be doing nothing of the sort,” Edelgard interjected darkly, rising to her full height. Marianne was a potential informant on the intricacies of horse plowing. Her time was sacred.

It took a moment before she registered that they were staring at her. “It’s been going on for too long, that’s all,” Edelgard backpedaled in vain.

A sly smirk slid over Hilda’s face. “Riiiiight. That’s all. Well anyways, I should be heading out to go to class. See ya!”

She bolted out the door, leaving Edelgard to stare after her.

Lysithea shook her head in exasperation. “We should go to our afternoon classes, Claude. I’m sure Hanneman will not be too upset with you when you tell him of your dutiful pursuits.”

“Of course,” Edelgard smiled stiffly, and started to follow her. Only a morning of being Claude, and she’d already gotten in trouble with an authority figure. At least no one could accuse her of being out of character.

-

“Lorenz!”

Lorenz dropped the mirror he was holding with an ungentlemanly flinch. He did not glare—that would be tacky. He merely raised an eyebrow. “Please, Hilda, pipe down. A noblewoman has no business being so loud.”

“Oh no, I’m not worried about that.” The mischievous smirk on her face proved it. “No, I’m more worried about the fact that Claude,” she leaned in closer, “was doing paperwork.”

A ghostly shiver ran down his spine at her words. Dare he believe it? Claude had flaunted his status as the Alliance’s chosen in his face for the whole semester, but never had he made such an overt move. Lorenz was almost impressed by his audacity.

He doubted Hilda was lying—the malignant glee in her eyes was real enough—and he doubted Claude would subject himself to real work for a mere prank. No, this was a statement. It was an assertion of dominance and a demonstration of Claude’s abilities to lead the Alliance!

This was a declaration of war.

Hilda just ‘happening’ to oversee him doing work was no mistake, no, Claude was playing the game covertly. Lorenz clenched his teeth as he imagined Claude’s dastardly smirk, likely hidden from Hilda as he hunched over his desk. Well, Lorenz will not sit idly by and let him take the Alliance.

“But that’s not all,” Hilda interrupted his brewing thoughts of violence with a pout. “It seems he kinda has a thing for Marianne too.”

“What?” Ignatz choked, not even pretending he wasn’t listening in. His eyes quickly filled with touched tears. “So the cold tactician has a heart after all…”

Leonie scoffed from where she was sharpening a knife. “Please, I knew all along. Hanneman knew what he was doing when he paired them together for stable duty.”

“Good for him,” Rafael smiled, “Marianne might feel the same way!” He glanced around the room. “Uh—Marianne?”

A fist landed on the desk next to where his arm was and splintered the wood. The atmosphere chilled considerably.

“She went to get her notes,” Hilda smiled. “And I don’t think she needs to know! I mean, telling her would be downright silly, wouldn’t it?”

“Right, of course!” Rafael laughed, sweating as Hilda turned her glare upon all the occupants of the room. No one met her gaze.

Hilda was a better negotiator than he had initially thought, Lorenz noted once his heart slowed to a survivable rate.

Now if only he could turn her against Claude…

Chapter Text

Hubert looked at his Lady, who was currently out of her regular seating position.

Instead, she had deemed it fit to sit next to…the Aegir boy. Her reasoning evaded him, but her skills in manipulation were evidently not dulled by her sleepless night. She had started with a smile that looked disturbingly genuine had Hubert not known better, and opened with inane topics like horses and tea.

All of which caused the ginger to brighten. It hurt to look at. But his Lady endured, guiding the conversation pleasantly to class work when Manuela deemed it fit to finally show up.

Hubert did not know why Lady Edelgard decided to recruit him. Perhaps something she found last night had caused her to think of a use for him.

He would have to inquire about the topic after class. For now, he resigned himself to listening to the Aegir dimwit chatter on and on about chivalry in combat. Hubert resisted the urge to scoff. As if.

At least he wasn’t bringing up his juvenile rivalry with his Lady. Though, perhaps that was Lady Edelgard’s strategy all along.

-

Hubert stopped him in a dark alley as they walked out of class.

It hadn’t been a bad day. Dimitri was still riding on the buzz that arose from good conversation (and the potential gain of a friend!) and temporarily forgot to be scared out of his wits.

“Lady Edelgard, I have some concerns regarding our plans.”

Dimitri blinked. He didn’t know of any plans.

Observing his puzzled stare, Hubert elaborated, “The ones about Those Who Slither in the Dark. I was pondering your use for the Aegir heir.”

Oh wait, Dimitri’s eyes widened. Didn’t Dorothea say something about performing? With a name like that, it must be one of her stage plays.

“Yes,” Dimitri coughed. Ferdinand was rather good at acting, wasn’t he? “I was thinking he could be a supporting role.”

“A…supporting role.” Hubert repeated. It seemed his Lady had come up with a code to fend off listening ears. He nodded in comprehension. “Perhaps he would join your inner circle in this…plot.”

Dimitri straightened in alarm. He was in the play? He didn’t know how to sing or act, he was barely passing as Edelgard as it was now! Though, Hubert was asking him to change the plot too, so he must be writing it, which means…

“Hubert,” he said sharply, “I need you to recount to me this plot. Every detail. Some aspects may have escaped me, and I need to be able to write the correct characters in.” He would die before he ruined the play for Edelgard.

Hubert nodded, understanding the importance of clarifying what each of the terms were in the new code so no misunderstandings occurred. “Yes, Lady Edelgard. I will recount everything.”

-

“This is a terrible play,” Dimitri said once Hubert had finished.

“Pardon?”

“There’s no happy ending,” he waved his hand in the air, “What happens to Those Who Slither In the Dark afterwards? They are arguably the true villains, but no one ever takes care of them.” Not to mention the deaths of everyone who weren’t in the Flame Emperor’s party. If they wanted the play to be enjoyed by everyone, such blatant propaganda would be off putting. “This will require some major editing.”

“Lady Edelgard, we had decided upon this script for quite a time. Are you sure changing tracks now is wise?”

“I understand you must be attached to this version, but I have plans to better it.” Dimitri said resolutely.

“I trust your judgement, Lady Edelgard.” Hubert bowed his head. The fire he saw in his Lady’s eyes was familiar, and would not be put out so easily.

Chapter Text

“Edelgard, would you care to explain why everyone thinks I have a thing for Marianne?” Claude asked nonchalantly, twirling a pencil in his fingers. The dim lighting of the library made Dimitri’s face look sinister, especially with that innocent smile he donned.

“Oh,” Edelgard sweat. “That. I hadn’t expected news to travel so fast.” She was treated to an unamused look by Claude. “Well, I was doing paperwork—you had far too much of it, by the way—and I might’ve,” his stare intensified. “Might’ve objected to Marianne being harassed by Lorenz’s romantic advances. Because she’s a possible informational resource.” She defended at his exasperated look.

Clause finally let the act drop with a sigh. “Hilda probably spread it. That’s probably why everyone knows except for Marianne, probably…” he grimaced sympathetically. “But it’s better than being found out. Your acting needs work, by the way. I would never do paperwork, let alone skip class for it.”

“It won’t happen again,” Edelgard said, almost sullenly. “I lost track of time. Granted, I was trying to keep your country economically afloat, so see if I intervene next time.”

Dimitri glared at Claude from where he had been brooding. “Your act hasn’t been perfect either from the way people are afraid to go within ten feet of you.”

“Well, you see,” Claude began, like he was regaling a grand tale. “I kind of broke the door when I went to class. And the wall.” Dimitri stared. “It wasn’t that bad! Annette managed to fix it with a spell and Teach even gave her extra credit for it!”

“And then?” Dimitri spoke like he was preparing himself for disappointment.

“And then I went to the training grounds to try to gouge your strength and went a little bit overboard,” Claude admitted. Overboard was a bad way to put it. It had taken him a few hours to get the stuffing out of the sidewalk.

“Claude,” Dimitri sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You need to be more careful with my strength. You could easily break something important or some important people.” The last word was spoken gravely.

“My understanding is that we need to get better at being each other,” Edelgard cut in, deftly evading a repeat of last night. She gestured to the pile of opened books. “Since we’re not finding answers here for an immediate fix, we could meet up at the library every other night and teach each other our mannerisms.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Dimitri brightened. “Though thankfully I haven’t erred yet. I may have even become friends with Ferdinand von Aegir!”

A beat of silence.

“And he didn’t mention anything about a...rivalry?” Edelgard inquired cautiously.

“No…”

“Really? Nothing at all?”

“No, we had a fascinating conversation about the paladin class, and he even invited me to have tea with him sometime.” Dimitri looked up at her. “Was that alright?”

Edelgard stared. That was all she had to do to shut him up? Just speak about tea and mounted warrior classes? “Yes, that’s perfect,” she said faintly.

Claude looked equally befuddled. “Are you really telling me that while I caused property damage and Edelgard started a rumor, you were promoting inter-house unity?”

“I don’t believe it is inter-house unity if one of the participants doesn’t know I’m from another house,” Dimitri smiled tentatively. “But yes?”

Claude sighed.

“Come on,” he said, pulling up a chair. “You’re teaching me your ways. All of them.”

Chapter Text

Claude dodged another strike from Felix, who snarled as the blade hit empty air.

“Woah, you sure are getting into this!” Claude said as he parried a particularly viscous blow. Felix gave a guttural growl and swung again with excessive force.

Claude spared a glance at the Professor, who was watching the match with a content expression. Okay, he wasn’t getting any help there. It also didn’t help that the entire Blue Lions section was watching with rapt attention, with Sylvain standing on the bleachers and cheering raucously for Felix while Dedue gave him a discrete thumbs up. Even his own vassal didn’t see anything wrong here. Faerghus was wild.

“Eyes on me, boar!” Felix spat. Claude blocked the incoming blow with his lance, but the clang sent vibrations up his arms. He didn’t really get why Felix called him that. Maybe it was his version of trash talking. He doesn’t really get Felix.

Wait. Weren’t Felix and Dimitri childhood friends? It must be some camaraderie thing. If Dimitri gets a cool nickname, he might as well return the favor.

“Okay, kitten!” Claude called out. He didn’t expect for Felix to come to a complete stop and stare at him with wide eyes.

“What did you just call me?”

“He called you kitten!” Sylvain helpfully replied. “And he’s right—!” His composure dissolved as he began to lose it.

Claude struggled to come into an explanation that wasn’t: I made it as ridiculous as possible to distract you from hitting me. “Well, you’re sharp and pointy and full of rage…”

“You two are such good friends!” Annette clapped her hands together. “I think it’s cute!”

“That’s not—“ Felix glanced wildly between them, starting to redden in the face. “I’m not cute.”

“Of course you’re not,” Mercedes said, patting him on the head. Felix jerkily shoved her hand away and stepped back. Seemingly inarticulate with rage and faced with a battle he isn’t going to win, he stormed out the exit.

“Your grade is going in as a zero if you leave!” Teach called out after him. He flipped her off and kept walking.

—

“Maybe I shouldn’t have called him that,” Claude voiced, staring down at the cup of water in his hands. It was dinner time, and Felix hadn’t come back yet.

“He’ll shrug it off. His pride is wounded, but he’ll eventually get over it. He just needs some time,” Ingrid tried to console him.

Sylvain snorted from beside her. “That was amazing though. In my entire time knowing him I’ve never seen him make that face before!”

Ingrid whacked him. “Shouldn’t you be out consoling him? You’re his best friend!”

“You just said he’ll be fine.” Ingrid stared at him, and he sighed. “Trust me. He’ll come back once he burns all of his feelings out on the practice field. Then everything will be normal again. It’s how he works.”

“I’m going after him,” Claude stood. He still felt kind of guilty after watching the guy go speechless in front of the entire class. Even his own brand of mischief usually wouldn’t humiliate people. Trapped in his thoughts, he failed to see Sylvain and Ingrid’s concerned gazes follow him out.

Claude traveled to the training yard and pressed open the wooden door. Surely enough, there was the sound of a sword whacking against a dummy. Claude flinched as he saw Felix fling a broken practice sword across the field. He picked up a new one and kept going.

“So, uh.” Claude inched in, but Felix didn’t even look up. “I hope the Professor wasn’t too mad about you leaving. I’m sure she’ll give you extra credit or something.” Where was his silver tongue when he needed it?

“She talked to me. I’m doing an alternative assignment.”

“Oh, good! The Professor is nice like that.” Claude kicked at the floor. Well, might as well get it over with. “I’m also sorry that I humiliated you in front of everyone. I didn’t mean to, but it still happened and I totally get why you’d be angry. So if you want to get a few hits in...” Claude raised his arms by his side. Sure, this wasn’t his body, but he was certain Dimitri would prioritize his relationship with Felix over a few bruises.

Felix scoffed and strode over to him. “I don’t care about that, and I don’t need your pity, boar.” He stopped until he was close enough that Claude could see the murder in your eyes. “You can play nice all you want, and fool all the people with your disgusting act. But I know what you really are.”

Claude’s heart seized in his chest. Felix knew?

The other must’ve seen something in his face, because he leaned back, satisfied. “You’re hopeless,” he shook his head and turned around, ending the conversation.

“…Ingrid and Slyvain missed you at dinner,” Claude said, not knowing where else to go from there. He took a step back, and then exited the way he came.

—

Claude was avoiding Felix. Which was all well and good on a walk back to the dorms at night, but it made it kind of awkward when the object of his avoidance plopped down next to him at breakfast.

“Hey kitten,” Sylvain greeted with a wink.

“Jump off a bridge,” Felix said without missing a beat, stuffing a bagel in his mouth. Ingrid gave a subtle sigh of relief, happy that things had returned to normal. Claude was not so happy.

Claude signaled to the other house leaders to meet him, ASAP, which he was sure got through due to the urgency in his eyes. At least Edelgard gave an imperceptible nod back. Dimitri just waved.

Breakfast was a tense affair, but Felix hadn’t even looked at him since last night. It made it easy to slip away afterwards and meet in a shadowed alley where Dimitri and Edelgard were already waiting.

“Well? What happened that we had to meet in broad daylight?” Edelgard crossed her arms.

For once, Claude didn’t sugarcoat his words. “Felix knows.”

“About us?” Edelgard asked tersely. “How did this happen?”

“Well, we were sparring, and then I called him by a nickname. He really doesn’t like nicknames, did you know that? Well, I went after him to apologize, but Felix didn’t even care,” Claude explained. “He just leaned in real close and said he ‘knew who I really was.’ I’m not even sure how he knows! I was so careful...”

Dimitri closed his eyes. “I…think I know what he was talking about. Don’t worry. He doesn’t know, Felix was merely referring to something else. I’ll talk to him about it.”

“As Edelgard?” Claude raised an eyebrow.

“Just leave it to me,” Dimitri said and didn’t elaborate further.

—

Felix left the dining hall with a scowl. Damn that boar. The idiotic nickname caught on like fire with the rest of the students, mainly Sylvain, and it wasn’t something that they would forget soon.

He was so preoccupied in his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice Edelgard waiting by the corner, primly clearing her throat as he passed. Her allergies were of no importance of him, so he kept walking.

“AHEM,” Edelgard said louder. Felix turned around.

“If you’re getting sick, go see a healer. Don’t go spreading anything around.”

If anything, Edelgard seemed pleased to be addressed. “Felix! Just the person I wanted to see. If I might have a moment of your time, I’d like to discuss some certain things about the past…”

And she prattled on and on, sounding horribly like the boar when he was putting on his best airheaded prince act. He stared at her with a horrified expression as she talked about letting go of grudges or some other thing he didn’t care about.

“And you see, that’s why I’m sure Dimitri didn’t mean what you thought he meant. He actually mentioned to me that he was very contrite and sorry for his actions, and he didn’t want anything to change between you two.”

Felix squinted up at her and her ridiculously earnest expression. “The boar can do what he wants,” is what he ended up saying, if only to finally get away from the Princess who had clearly lost her marbles. Her smile became impossibly brighter.

“Thank you for being so understanding, Felix,” Edelgard nodded to herself and walked off, leaving him wondering what the hell had just happened. He was still wondering when he was grabbed by the collar and slammed against the wall in one of the dark alleys by the stables.

Hubert leaned over him with a sick smile. “I see that my Lady has taken an interest in you.” His amber eyes flashed in the dark like those of a cat. “Take care not to disappoint her, or you may find yourself with more problems than a simple childish nickname.”

“What the—?” Felix’s raised voice was covered by von Vestra’s hand. The black-haired psychopath made a shh sound before he uncovered his mouth, and Felix glared but spat in a lower voice, “I don’t even want to talk to ‘your Lady.’”

Hubert chuckled lowly, like he had just told him something very amusing. “I’m afraid the time for choices has passed.”

With a smug grin, the bastard took a step back and melded into the shadows before Felix could even think to draw his sword.

For a while Felix stood there, staring down at where Hubert had left.

And he had thought his House was crazy.