Chapter Text
Shen Yuan woke to darkness, and with an irritating, google-translate voice still ringing in his mind. What the hell was it talking about, transforming a stupid work into a high-quality classic? What was going on?
Shen Yuan tried to rub his head, but he… he didn’t have any arms.
That realisation made him thrash in panic for a moment, and realise that he didn’t have any legs, either! He did have a long, sinuous body, however, and managed to smack part of it hard against the stone that was apparently all around him. Shen Yuan hissed in pain and curled up into himself reflexively.
A dim red glow suffused the dark cave that Shen Yuan found himself in. “Zhuzhi-lang?” a rough voice asked.
Shen Yuan turned his head towards the noise and the light and recoiled slightly when he made eye contact with a pair of glowing red eyes below a similarly-coloured zuiyin. A mark that he recognized immediately following the initial shock, because it was Luo Binghe’s demon mark. “Luo Binghe?” he attempted to say, but his mouth didn’t work right, and the only noise that came out was a garbled hiss of sound.
[The System was successfully activated! Bound Role: Tianlang-Jun’s right hand, most loyal servant of the Demon Emperor, “Zhuzhi-Lang” Condition: Half-snake form. Starting S-Points: 100.]
Shen Yuan narrowed his eyes against the unpleasantly bright blue glow of the notification screen that had appeared in front of him. Tianlang-Jun? That was Luo Binghe’s birth father, wasn’t he? It explained the identical zuiyin… So this really was Proud Immortal Demon Way, then? But who the hell was Zhuzhi-Lang? Shen Yuan edited the Proud Immortal Demon Way wiki, he wouldn’t have forgotten a character who was so closely named to Xizhi-Lang, his favourite brand of jelly. Had he been given some OC to inhabit? If the system was just going to make up some guy for him to be, couldn’t he have been given a body that at least had limbs?
And where the hell was he, it was terribly cramped and dark and… The penny finally dropped when Shen Yuan turned his attention back to Tianlang-Jun and registered that the man’s eyes were roughly at ground level, as though he was pressed against the floor and could not get up. Tianlang Jun had been sealed beneath a mountain before Luo Binghe was even born.
Shen Yuan’s tongue flicked out involuntarily and he cringed further at the stench of blood and decay that hit his senses full-force.
System, what the hell? He was stuck in some weird half-snake body, unable to speak, stuck under a mountain with a sealed Demon Emperor, and he was someone who hadn’t even been important enough to be mentioned in the novel once? How was he supposed to improve the story in any way like this ?!
[You have triggered the System’s execution command and have been bound to the Zhuzhi-Lang account. Your current assignments are to remain in character as Zhuzhi-Lang and to maintain strict loyalty to Tianlang-Jun. The system wishes you luck in providing character development to background characters and making the story a first-rate classic. Please be advised that out-of-character behaviour will result in a penalty, and ensure that no point score falls below zero or the System will automatically mete out punish–]
“You aren’t Zhuzhi-lang, are you?” Tianlang-Jun said, interrupting the google translate voice.
[...]
Hey you can’t blame this on me, you should have dropped me into a situation where the confusion and bewilderment at NOT HAVING ANY LIMBS wouldn’t have immediately given me away, you garbage System!
[-40 S-points. OOC lock removed. The requirement to maintain loyalty to Tianlang-Jun remains in place.]
Shen Yuan still had some extremely uncharitable thoughts about the System, but at least he hadn’t immediately been reduced to zero points. He still complained internally. I shouldn’t be getting a penalty, I should be getting compensation! This is the fault of your shitty customer service, not me!
[A good user experience is a top priority of the System, that is why our services are always provided at the highest level of quality.]
In other words, I shouldn’t be expecting anything better from you, ah? Shen Yuan thought bitterly, then looked back at Tianlang-Jun and shook his head slowly. It was probably fine that the Demon Emperor had caught him immediately, considering the guy seemed literally incapable of moving. Besides, refusing to answer might be considered disloyal and would cost him more S-points.
The demon trapped beneath the mountain chuckled, his breath trailing off in a choked wheeze. “I told him to leave me be, you know. There’s nothing that can be done, any more. One of us might as well live, hey? The damn boy was stubborn, though. Wanted to die down here with me. I really expected to be the first one to go but, ah well. I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end,” he mused, seemingly half to himself. “Now it seems like I have a second nephew. Maybe you’ll be more obedient than the first one, ah? Don’t spend your brand new life trapped down here in the dark, that’s simply too depressing for words.”
If Shen Yuan had any eyelids, he probably would have blinked at Tianlang-Jun. That was a surprisingly even-keeled response from a demon who had apparently been enough of a threat to the cultivation world that all of the major sects had collaborated to seal him away. There were no commands to free him, or to wreak vengeance upon the humans that had imprisoned him, or even to give back the body he had stolen. He just wanted Shen Yuan, some random person he had met seconds ago, to have a better life than he did.
And to leave Tianlang-Jun alone in the dark.
Shen Yuan’s heart twinged. He was starting to get an idea of why this Zhuzhi-Lang was so devoted to his emperor.
Tianlang-Jun sighed. “Sorry, I can’t give you a better body. If you cultivate enough, though, you might manage to reach a point that you can assume a different form on your own. Something to aim for, hm?” The demon’s sharp teeth gleamed in the reflected red light from his eyes for just a moment, a flash of a smile. Then he closed his eyes and lowered his head; his forehead must have been resting against the stone because the light from his zuiyin was extinguished. “Anyway, nice meeting you. I’m going to go back to sleep for a while. So long, have a nice life,” he mumbled.
What the hell was this? What business did Luo Binghe’s dad have being this nice?! Airplane, you hack, there was a character like this in the books and you gave him nothing but a throwaway line or two about being stuck under a mountain? Wife #236 got more words dedicated to describing the freckles on her back! Tianlang-Jun was unjustly treated twice over, once when he was trapped under this hunk of rock and once when his pathos wasn’t even able to be appreciated!
Shen Yuan made an aggravated sound, which somehow managed to come out in the form of a rattlesnake’s rattle. Shen Yuan frowned and after a brief moment of concentration to adjust to the new layout of his body, flicked the tip of his tail. Nothing. He didn’t have a rattle on his tail, so then that noise came out of his mouth? How did that work? Whatever Shen Yuan was now, it was weird and interesting, and didn’t correspond to any of the monsters that he could recall being described in Proud Immortal Demon Way. Shen Yuan wanted to strangle the great master Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. Hundreds of chapters of mediocre papapa and nothing at all for whatever strange demon Shen Yuan was now?
“Zhuzh– Second nephew?” Tianlang-Jun asked, interrupting Shen Yuan’s internal ranting.
Right! Right, he should focus on the situation at hand. Shen Yuan huffed and managed to scoot his body forward a bit. He nudged the side of his head against Tianlang-Jun’s, and hoped that it could be interpreted as a reassuring nuzzle. “I’ll get you out of here,” he attempted to say, but again his words came out as a garbled hiss.
“Oh, so you’re sentimental too,” Tianlang-Jun remarked, sounding wistful. “No need for lingering goodbyes, nephew. You can just go.”
Hmn, so he couldn’t be understood. That was a shame. He didn’t want to leave Tianlang-Jun down here in the dark without hope, but he couldn’t think of another way to communicate. He’d need to figure out how to hold a brush in his mouth so he could write messages. He let his head rest against Tianlang-Jun’s for a moment longer, then drew back and turned his attention to the rock around them. His tongue flicked out and he could smell a faint thread of fresh air trickling in from somewhere to the left. He located a crevice just barely large enough to squeeze his body though and was glad that he wasn’t particularly claustrophobic as he wriggled and squeezed his way through the winding path leading outside.
The further he went, the lighter his body began to feel, the more alert and responsive his senses became. It was the spiritual qi of the mountain, he realised, and it was most heavily concentrated where Tianlang-Jun was imprisoned. Shen Yuan grit his teeth as he scraped by a particularly tight corner, and got to thinking.
There were a handful of instances when Luo Binghe had been captured and imprisoned and chained up. (There were more instances of him being chained up for fun, but those weren’t applicable.) It hadn’t been under a mountain, but it was likely that the measures required to contain a heavenly demon operated on the same principles; Luo Binghe was too OP to have more than a handful of weaknesses.
The spiritual arrays necessary to bind a heavenly demon had been described as multilayered and extensive, requiring the work of multiple cultivators operating in tandem to craft a series of chains that could suppress Luo Binghe’s demonic potential. These had needed to be applied in tandem with immortal binding cables to suppress Luo Binghe’s spiritual energy; he had managed to escape from that predicament with the help of Wife #284, whom he had convinced to cut the immortal binding cables and release his human cultivation. Once that was done, of course a genius of Luo Binghe’s calibre could undo the arrays binding him in place.
Of course, Tianlang-Jun was a full-blooded heavenly demon, so he had no convenient human cultivation to fall back on. The arrays that bound him would by their very nature need to be heavily resistant and hostile towards demonic qi, even unbound qi.
Shen Yuan’s current body was also a full demon; there was no hint of spiritual energy in his meridians. Trying to undo or unravel such a powerful and extensively prepared spiritual array with only the demonic qi that Shen Yuan currently had at his disposal was a fool’s errand. He could try for a thousand years and still not succeed. But undoing the array was only one of the options he had for resolving the issue. There was another one that was significantly more simple and more direct.
All he needed to do was remove the power source of the whole prison.
Not having hands sucked. Though once Shen Yuan got more used to his current body, away from the crushing spiritual pressure of the mountain, it was more dextrous than he initially expected. He could move quite quickly, his tail could work partially as a hand for some things, and he had managed to steal a bag from a passing merchant caravan under the cover of night. This certainly helped him in being able to carry more than he could fit in his mouth.
(He could fit a truly disturbing amount of material into his mouth, though, considering that his jaw could unhinge. At least his venom seemed to be fairly potent, and he didn’t need to feel his lunch wriggle as it slid down his gullet. Shen Yuan still wished he was in a body that was better suited for chewing.)
Shen Yuan had managed to find other thieving opportunities once he got clear of Huan Hua’s territory, as he made his way towards the border with the demon realm. What he was looking for could only be found in a particular region during this time period.
Proud Immortal Demon Way was a steaming pile of literary garbage, but that didn’t mean that it was entirely without merit. The worldbuilding could actually be quite compelling when Airplane wasn’t dedicating endless passages to papapa. Shen Yuan was quite a big fan of the Tectonic Crevasse-Bore Termites, which were an in-universe explanation for why there were so many extensive and sprawling cave systems found damn near everywhere. The termites were creatures that devoured solid rock and were instinctually driven to form intricate networks of tunnels when settling in a new mountain or cliff system. The species was rare and had almost gone extinct when the Qiaobi demon clan had domesticated the creatures to serve as living construction equipment as they established their rule in the mountainous eastern portion of the demon realm, over nine hundred years ago. Their rule had eventually fallen apart, and now their legacy remained in the form of a dozen cavern networks that the protagonist had looted for treasure, and a small surviving colony of Tectonic Crevasse-Bore Termites deep within the abandoned mines of the stronghold where they had made their last stand.
Shen Yuan had managed to fashion several necessary torches bound tightly with Solar Sedimentary Unfurled Grass, the smoke of which would keep the termites sleepy and docile while Shen Yuan infiltrated their nest. He needed to take both the queen and king of the most recent generation in order to ensure that the task could be completed in a reasonable timeframe, and after that he could grab a few dozen workers and a handful of soldiers. Everything that he would need to start the establishment of a new colony under Bailu Mountain. Fortunately, he had worked out how to use his demonic qi well enough to be able to light the torch with a spark from it, rather than having to fumble with flint and steel or some other firestarter with his mouth and the tip of his tail.
Shen Yuan could not exactly describe the trip through the mines as pleasant, considering that there had been several other creatures which had colonised the tunnels and were significantly less docile than the termites Shen Yuan was looking for. Shen Yuan was grateful that he seemed to have inherited some of the regenerative potential of a heavenly demon after his scuffle with a colony of Shrieking Cavern Harpy Bats. But in the end he managed to fill several heavy ceramic jars with the necessary insects while clenching the smoking torch between his teeth.
The bag worked well enough to keep the necessary supplies in during his rapid return trip to Bailu Mountain, but once he actually got to the place itself, he had to grapple with yet another unpleasant reality of his situation. The tunnels he needed to squeeze through here, unlike the spacious and cavernous reaches of the Qiaobi clan lands, were extremely cramped. Trying to drag the bag through them was a recipe for getting the fabric snagged and torn and losing what he’d worked so hard to retrieve. There weren’t many options for turning around or trying to reposition himself, either.
So with a heavy sigh and a few swear words directed towards the System for sticking him in this situation, Shen Yuan tucked his bag under a bush, unhinged his jaw, and swallowed the items he wanted to bring down to Tianlang-Jun.
“Oh. Hello again, nephew. I didn’t expect to see you again. Do you need something?” Tianlang-Jun asked as Shen Yuan finally managed to crawl through the depths of the mountain.
Shen Yuan shook his head and pulled the tail end of his body out of the crevice. He internally grimaced, then began doing his best impression of a cat hacking up a hairball as he regurgitated the four jars and one bundle of waxed cloth. He allowed himself a shudder after it was done, and then began picking the jars up with his mouth to set them upright on the floor of the cave. He tugged the string loose that was holding the bundle closed and unrolled it, revealing a pre-written note as well as seven dark purple fruits. He set the note down on the ground in front of Tianlang-Jun.
“Oh, you’ve cooked something up, have you?” Tianlang-Jun remarked with some interest, eyeing the jars before turning his attention to the note. Shen Yuan waited patiently while the demon read it over, thankful that heavenly demons came with their own reading light; it made this much more convenient. Tianlang-Jun blinked, then scanned over the note again. “This is… Do you really think this could work?”
Shen Yuan nodded. The very rock of Bailu Mountain was deeply steeped in spiritual energy, and this was what fueled the arrays keeping Tianlang-Jun bound. If the mountain were to stop existing, then it stood to reason that the spiritual energy would also dissipate, its source removed.
The Tectonic Crevasse-Bore Termites could do just that. Even better, since it was significantly cooler to have massive branching networks of tunnels to explore rather than a huge empty crater, the termites instinctively avoided devouring the outermost stone of a mountain. If they were left to their own devices, they could hollow out an entire peak without the outside of the mountain seeming to have changed one bit. It was perfect for keeping this escape plan of his under wraps. If everything went according to plan, then Bailu Mountain could be almost entirely demolished without the Huan Hua cultivators being any wiser.
In order to speed up the rate of the destruction, Shen Yuan had also retrieved several Twilight Hellswarm Syrup Plums, which were known to vastly accelerate the foraging, colonising, and reproductive cycles of most insect species that were exposed to the fruits, thus leading to the name. Just two or three of the fruits could lead to normal plagues of locusts becoming apocalyptic threats to a region; the seven Shen Yuan had retrieved should be enough to establish a thriving and extremely voracious colony of Tectonic Crevasse-Bore Termites, even with the minimal specimens he had managed to retrieve. Still, an entire mountain was no small thing to consume. Shen Yuan guessed that it still might take the better part of a decade for the colony to be able to devour enough to break Tianlang-Jun free.
And in the meanwhile, Tianlang-Jun was going to be stuck in the middle of the establishing nest. Fortunately, the termites only ate stone and minerals and had no interest in flesh, so they shouldn’t pose a physical threat to the demon, but it was bound to be unpleasant being treated as terrain by a thriving and extremely active swarm of insects for years. And Shen Yuan shouldn’t return to visit during that interim period, not when his movements could potentially be noticed by the surrounding cultivators and have their scheme discovered when it was still early enough to put a stop to it. Would the Demon Emperor really be all right with such an undignified escape plan?
Tianlang-Jun huffed out a disbelieving chuckle. “Ah, so this nephew of mine turns out to be a miracle worker. That’s… Maybe I should have expected as much,” he murmured, then raised his eyes to look at Shen Yuan. “By all means, then, go ahead. I spoke once to a human who was very interested by insects, did you know? He told me about this ‘ant farm’ he kept and observed. Apparently they exhibited very interesting behaviours. It’s certainly more entertainment than I expected to ever have, down here.”
Shen Yuan nodded, and used his tail to unscrew the lids of the jars, setting the insects free. He nicked the flesh of the plums with his fangs, letting the syrup spill free, and he smeared it over the rock of the cavern they resided in. The stones within the plums were literal stone, and should be particularly effective for the mineral-loving insects. The termites immediately took notice and the workers sprang into action.
Tianlang-Jun watched the swift and efficient manner of the termites with some interest, then lifted his gaze up to Shen Yuan again. “Thank you, nephew. The next time we meet, you’ll need to tell me your name.”
Shen Yuan felt a little awkward at the realisation that he still hadn’t introduced himself. He’d been so focused on conveying the details of the plan that he hadn’t thought to write anything about himself. Shen Yuan nodded and tapped the side of his head against Tianlang-Jun’s once more, before he made his way back out of the mountain.
The System played a celebratory jingle and showered him with S-points, but it still refused to let him spend the S-points to change into a body that actually had hands , so as far as Shen Yuan was concerned the damn thing was still on his shit list.
Okay, so Shen Yuan had between five to ten years to kill before Tianlang-Jun would be able to break free. He was in a body that couldn’t talk, didn’t have hands, and was ugly enough that both demons and humans viewed him as some kind of repulsive monster. He supposed that he could go sight-seeing in some of the more remote parts of the world; there were lots of interesting locations that Luo Binghe had barely spent any time exploring due to being waylaid by countless wife pl–
Luo Binghe! The protagonist, Shen Yuan had almost forgotten! If this was still early into the time when Tianlang-Jun was sealed away, was Luo Binghe still a child? Was the protagonist as a cute little bun with round cheeks out there somewhere, trying to survive on the streets? Had the washerwoman taken him in yet?
Shen Yuan knew exactly how he wanted to spend his next several years.
Shen Yuan was not an extremely stealthy demon. Oh, he could move quickly and silently when he wanted to and was very adept at hiding in forests and grasslands and mountainous areas, but he was a bit too large and horrible-looking to be able to infiltrate an urban environment. Fortunately, Shen Yuan had found the protagonist when he was still being raised by the washerwoman, and as a result, Luo Binghe went down to the river fairly often. Shen Yuan was able to conceal himself amongst the vegetation along the riverbanks or just below the surface of the water and sneak peeks at the adorable little kid as he worked so earnestly to get the garments clean. So moe, it was hard to believe that he would one day grow up to be the ruler of all three realms.
Shen Yuan hadn’t really intended to interfere, but that was before some horrible snot-nosed brat had shoved Luo Binghe down into the shallows of the river and stomped muddy footprints all over the protagonist’s laundry despite the kid’s tearful pleas to stop. He even laughed at Luo Binghe’s distress! Laughed!
Shen Yuan saw red, and the next thing he knew there was a flailing child already crammed most of the way down his gullet and Luo Binghe was staring at him in utter terror.
Ah, shit. Those instincts could be real strong sometimes. Shen Yuan beat a swift retreat, crashing through the bushes along the riverbank and disappearing from view. After he got far enough to hopefully no longer be traumatising the poor protagonist, Shen Yuan remembered the kid he swallowed and hacked him back up. The bully was still breathing and mostly conscious, just a little slimy. He’d probably be fine, it wasn’t like Shen Yuan had bitten him. He didn’t actually want to murder the brat or anything. He nudged the kid slightly with his tail; he seemed a bit stunned at the moment. Shen Yuan heaved a sigh and latched onto the bully’s robe, dragging the kid over to the road leading back to town. There, now he’d either be found by someone passing by or he’d make his own way back once he recovered. Shen Yuan’s conscience was clean!
He slithered back into the woods and hoped that he hadn’t scared poor Luo Binghe too much. What if he was afraid to go down to the river now?
Shen Yuan slunk back to the riverbank, and found the spot deserted, the dirty laundry abandoned on the shore. He slumped sadly. It made sense, to evacuate when a man-eating monster had just lunged out of the bushes and taken someone, but knowing Luo Binghe’s backstory, the poor kid was going to be beaten for not finishing the job regardless. Shen Yuan had just made things worse.
Maybe he could help a little, to make up for it? Shen Yuan slipped into the water, and, making sure that the coast was clear, grabbed the clothing and pulled it deeper. He scrubbed the garment against the clean sand on the bottom of the river, working loose the mud and remaining dirt. He even endured the taste of soap in his mouth to scrub the clothes with the abandoned soap beans, then managed to sling the clothes over a nearby branch to dry. It was as good as he was able to get it. Hopefully it would be enough. Shen Yuan retreated back into a hiding spot and waited. He didn’t want the clothes to be stolen by random ruffians and get Luo Binghe in even worse trouble!
A group of men with spears came by after some time had passed, but they paid no mind to the still-damp clothing, instead looking over the riverbank and water and then following the path of crushed grass and snapped twigs that Shen Yuan had left in his initial haste to get away from the protagonist.
The sun had almost gone down when Luo Binghe crept down to the riverbank, tense and wide-eyed. He sported a new bruise on his cheek, and Shen Yuan winced. The protagonist eyed the surrounding vegetation with trepidation, but paused when his eyes fell on the hanging clothes, now fully dry. His brow furrowed and he looked around the riverbank one more time before hurriedly snatching up the clothes and dashing back into the town.
Shen Yuan felt a horrible combination of anger and guilt at the fact that Luo Binghe’s boss (or, well, his mother’s boss) had hit the kid and then forced him to go back to the river, alone, to get the garments after a child-eating monster had been there just earlier today. Ugh, Luo Binghe’s backstory was so unfair, and Shen Yuan had just added to his tribulations. He absolutely needed to make amends.
If the current evening was any indication, Luo Binghe was going to be forced to go down to the river regardless of the potential danger that lurked there. But, it was probably likely that anyone who heard about the rumour would avoid the spot. That meant that Shen Yuan could feel relatively confident in Luo Binghe being the only person who would return here in the near future, right? Then maybe Shen Yuan could leave a present.
It was tempting to steal some bruise medicine for the kid’s poor face, but taking anything that already had an owner would open up Luo Binghe to accusations of theft. Bad idea; Luo Binghe was currently at the point of the plot where if something could go wrong for him, it would.
Better to collect some fruits from the forest, maybe something sweet would be able to take the kid’s mind off the stress for a little bit. Shen Yuan went off to find the goji berry bush he had found before and stripped it clean, emptying the fruit into his bag and bringing it to the riverbank after dark. He made a little nest or basket of twigs to hold the berries and to try to make the peace offering more aesthetically pleasing. There, it was a start.
Shen Yuan would have liked to provide some more medicinal plants as well, but he couldn’t speak to explain their use and he couldn’t expect Luo Binghe as a small child to know what to do with them unprompted, no matter how brilliant the protagonist was. He’d need to think of something else.
The poor kid could use something more filling than just fruit, but leaving dead rabbits on the riverbank would probably be misinterpreted. Shen Yuan didn’t think he’d be able to skin, butcher, and cook any meat on his own without any hands (he probably wouldn’t have been able to do that kind of thing with hands either, he had to admit; all the meat he’d ever cooked came pre-packaged in plastic and styrofoam). Fruit and maybe some tubers were probably the best that Shen Yuan could manage.
Oh, but seafood, seafood was a possibility. Well, riverfood, same difference. If Shen Yuan could scrounge up some mussels, oysters, or clams, maybe shrimp or crayfish and some kind of pot or bowl, he could boil them over a fire and probably make something at least edible.
Shen Yuan curled up for the night and went to sleep dreaming of ways he could help take care of the poor little protagonist while still being a monster that lurked in the woods.