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Castiel stared out into the lake, skipping rocks as he stood on the lake side avoiding being with the family. Castiel glanced across the lake to see Dean walking up, he smiled softly at them as he watched Dean pull a cigarette from his pocket. Castiel paused his skipping watching Dean light a cigarette, Dean sucked in the air from his smoke. He was wondering when he’d see Dean again after their conversation, and it was night time by the time Dean had come out to talk.
Castiel was grateful for the space, and he looked at Dean who moved into his space standing next to him, holding a couple blankets.
“Hey.” Dean breathed blowing out smoke as Castiel eyed him.
“Thought you weren’t going to smoke.” Castiel smiled.
“If I have to deal with any more of your family drama, I just might need to find your liquor cabinet.” Dean teased, Castiel smiled to himself before tossing another rock. Silence fell onto them as Dean took a seat on one of the blankets, next to him in the sand, enjoying the view before Castiel took off his jacket placing it around Dean’s shoulders before taking a seat next to him sitting in silence, the extra blanket laid next to them.
“...mind if I take a hit?” Castiel asked moving his hand towards it as Dean held it away.
“Yeah. I do.” Dean stated, as Castiel slowly took his hand away, laying back into the sand. “It’s a nasty habit…” Castiel looked down as Dean blew out smoke. “Tell me, since when do you run from his problems.”
“I don’t run, I gratefully just decline them a visit.” Castiel spoke as Dean sucked in air, crushed his cigarette into the sand, before straddling Castiel. Castiel let out a breath, as he instantly moved to hold Dean’s hips, as Dean leaned down pressing his lips to Castiel’s which Castiel pressed back into the kiss. Feeling the smoke Dean blew slide between their lips, Castiel flipped them as he slid his hands up Dean’s top. Dean didn’t object to him this time, pressing their mouths together in need, as Dean let Castiel take off his top. He knew Dean was just trying to comfort him the best way he knew how, without flat out asking why.
Why he hated his father.
It’s not like he was running FROM his problems per say.
He just...didn’t want to think about them anymore.
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third grade
Castiel licked his lips staring up at the clock, happy to just go home. Just wanting to just go home. Castiel pushed up his glasses, as he fidgeted in his seat happily. Though the eight year old was never much one to sit still in the first place, his eyes glanced around the room when a whimper made him pause. His eyes falling on the kid who sat two seats away from him. He had caused his busted lip to bleed. The brown haired boy, lightly glanced down touching his lip, realizing he had. Sliding his bleeding lip into his mouth, as he stared off at the distance. He was new, moving into town a couple months ago. Castiel recognized everyone in the class from preschool but him...Castiel didn’t recognize his face without a bruise.
The bell ringing made Castiel stand instantly, collecting his stuff as the brown haired boy slowly collected his things.
“Dean, Can I talk to you?” The teacher spoke as the busted lip kid, sighed walking up to the front as Castiel only paused for a moment. She always needed to talk to him, always looking like a punching bag… Castiel’s eyes looked away, he walked out of the door. Castiel bolted out the front doors of the school, running straight into the arms of his mother. Who hugged him so tightly, Castiel squealed with laughter, as she placed kisses on his cheek.
“How was school, handsome?!” Rowena smiled as Castiel smiled back.
“I did well on the test!” Castiel earned himself another kiss, as a voice gained his attention.
“D-...Dean. H-Hurry. W-We need to go home.” A woman called, as Dean came down the stairs walking towards her. Castiel took in the blonde who was carrying a newborn carrier as she collected Dean in a hurry, wearing sunglasses he walked past both Castiel and his mother. She looked around with worry, before helping Dean into the car and driving off.
“Poor wee ones.” Rowena spoke, but Castiel didn’t understand. Was it because of Dean’s bruises?
“Jimmy said he’s a spy, that’s why he always has bruises, he gets into fights with other spies.” Castiel spoke, not really understanding.
“...Yeah baby.” Rowena spoke as she lead him away, softly touching his back as she walked with him home.
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Castiel chewed on cereal as he sat in the messy home, his mother was having a sad day. She had those a lot. Normally she’d lay in her bed and sleep. He was use to waking up alone and eating breakfast alone. He just wanted to help his mother get better, so he’d bring her breakfast and try to the best of a eight year olds ability to clean up for her. She however would always get up to walk him to and from school.
Castiel finished quickly as he went to clean his bowl, before walking towards his mother's room. She laid fast asleep, her wavy messy hair all over the place as the eight year old joined her in the bed curling against her.
“Morn’n mama.” Castiel spoke, as Rowena opened her eyes softly brushing her fingers through his hair.
“Keep mistaken you for your papa.” Rowena spoke sadly, as Castiel gave a sad smile. His mother always got sad when she mentioned him. “You know, when you were in my tummy I always thought you would have red hair...but only girls in my family line have red hair.”
“I’m sorry mama.” Castiel spoke as Rowena shook her head holding him close.
“Never be sorry for who you are.” Rowena spoke. “You’re perfect.”
“Rowena!” A voice called from the front door. “Castiel.” Castiel held his mother tighter. It was the weekend, which meant his father had come to collect him for the weekend. Rowena sighed sitting up.
“In here.” She called as chuck walked in looking around disgusted.
“Have you left the room at all? Jesus, it’s a fucking pigsty in here.” Chuck snapped, looking around the house. “You could get up and clean a little, especially when I am practically paying you to sit on your ass with alimony.”
“I’m trying to find a job.” Rowena snapped, as Castiel moved against her holding her tightly.
“Please. Don’t give me that bull.” Chuck stated. “Get your stuff Castiel.”
“I-I wanna stay with mom.” Castiel spoke as Rowena held him softly kissing his forehead.
“It’s only for the weekend.” Rowena spoke to Castiel, hugging him. Chuck walked out of the room, moving to Castiel’s bedroom, coming back when he didn’t find a bag.
“Did you not pack one?” Chuck snapped.
“I was going to do it before you got here...you just came early.” Rowena spoke pulling away from Castiel.
“It’s four Rowena, I’m late.” Chuck groaned, as he walked back towards Castiel’s room. Castiel following with rowena to the room as Chuck checked the drawers. “Where’s his clean clothes?”
“...I...must have forgotten to do laundry…” Rowena whispered as Chuck held back a rude comment, shoving whatever was on the floor into a bag and zipping up Castiel’s backpack.
“I’ll just do it when we get to my house.” Chuck snapped as a honk from outside made them all turn towards it, Chuck sighed in annoyance as Rowena looked out the window.
“You brought your WHORE?” Rowena held Castiel away from him.
“She’s not a whore, she’s my girlfriend.” Chuck stated.
“Girlfriend, my ass.” Rowena snapped in tears. “I begged you not to bring her to pick him up anymore.”
“What do you want me to do Rowena?!” Chuck snapped. “We both work in the same office, we carpool.”
“Yeah, I forgot how she’d blow you while you were ‘working late’.” Rowena snapped as Castiel looked between them worried.
“Not in front of the kid.” Chuck groaned disgusted, as Rowena started to cry. “It’s been six months. When are you going to get over this?”
“...Get over…? You fucking destroyed me.” Rowena snapped.
“You’re being over the top. As always.” Chuck took Castiel’s hand forcing him along. “We drifted apart a long time ago, don’t pin this on me.”
“Over the top? D-Drifted?! You CHEATED on me!” Rowena cried, before she moved in front of him, pressing on his chest trying to stop him. “Please...just come home...I’ll forgive you...please….I just want to be happy again.”
“...It’s too late, Rowena.” Chuck breathed. “...Bela and I already mated.” Rowena said nothing, as she lowered her hands from his chest. Chuck picked Castiel up, as He paused at the door giving Rowena a paused look. “...Get some help, Rowena.” Chuck stated, as he closed the door. Castiel just remembered his mother's sad face blowing a soft kiss goodbye to him.
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Castiel busted out of the car, happily going to go home after the stupid three day weekend with his father and his step family. Castiel just wanted to go home. Castiel squeezed the toy Chuck had won him from a store they had stopped by before going home. Castiel ran to the door, expecting it to be open as always, but the door for the first time was locked.
“Mom?” Castiel called knocking on the front door, as Chuck caught up to him. Sighing, he pulled out his keys, digging through them till he found the house key. Pushing the door open once unlocked, he carried Castiel’s bag as Castiel happily rushed in. “Mommy! I’m home!” Castiel called in the dark, as Chuck turned on the light, glancing around, when no greeting met them Castiel looked confused.
“Maybe she’s not home buddy.” Chuck stated, as Castiel frowned.
“B-But she’s always home.” Castiel pouted. “I’m going to find mommy.”
“Okay buddy, but if she’s not home. I’m taking you back to my house.” Chuck called but Castiel was already running down the hall. The flies were buzzing about the kitchen as Chuck noticed something strange on the table. Walking towards it, he picked up the envelope with Castiel’s name on it. Eyeing it, he ripped open the letter. Giving it a glance, his eyes widened. Before Chuck paled, dropping the stuff in his hand he bolted down the hall.
“Castiel!” Chuck screamed as he slid in front of the door, seeing the small eight year old staring into the light filled bathroom. Castiel stood frozen, as Chuck covered his eyes pulling him away. “Don’t look buddy. Don’t look.” Chuck spoke placing kisses on Castiel’s forehead, as he pulled away from Castiel to bolt into the bathroom. Castiel continued to stare where his father once was, unmoving as Chuck pulled Rowena up in the water, Pulling her head from the water. He turned off the bathtub, he pulled her from it. He tried to check her pulse, but she was gone. Long gone. Castiel’s stuff animal fell from his hands, landing on the floor, castiel still unmoving from trauma.
His mom was gone...and she was never coming back.
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Now: Dean’s POV
Castiel pressed a soft kiss to Dean’s temple, Dean naked curled up against him as Castiel. Covering them was the extra blanket, which did a great job of keeping them warm, but the fire Castiel had built was helping a lot. The fire being their only light source, it was pretty romantic under the stars. Dean was quiet after Castiel had talked about his past, Dean’s legs wrapped around his own as Though Dean wanted to never be untangled from Castiel.
“I’m...sorry…” Dean breathed sadly.
“...That’s why I can’t forgiven him, Dean.” Castiel whispered as he thumbed circles on Dean’s bareback. “This is not going to be some happy ending of some stupid comedy where we all go camping and against all odd find forgiveness and everything ends up hunky dory. No matter what happens, No matter how sorry he is...I still wake up every day without her…” Dean had tears in his eyes as he sat up, looking at Castiel sadly, sliding his lips against Castiel’s softly.
“She’s in a better place now... “ Dean whispered as Castiel broke into tears.
“...I love you, Dean.” Covering his eyes, Castiel started to cry, Dean comfortingly kissing his skin as he cried with him. Sad the heartache Castiel had to experience. Wishing Castiel was never sad again.
Lips crushed against each other in need, as Castiel moved on top of Dean, the intimacy becoming heated in the need of it. Dean had only brought one condom out here, but Dean didn’t want to stop the intimate comfort Castiel desperately needed. Dean gripped him as he held him back, Castiel nipping at his neck made Dean let out a choked out gasp. Dean had gotten on birth control when he started to become more sexually active with Castiel.
Something that made him feel a bit better with the amount of sex they have been having, Though it wasn’t one hundred percent, Dean could stop by the store for some Emergency contraception once they headed home tomorrow. Dean flipped them, as Castiel moved up to kiss him with need, Dean holding onto him tightly as he positioned himself before sliding down onto Castiel.
Castiel let out a loud moan, throwing his head back as he held Dean’s waist as Dean threw his head back, whimpering from the pleasure. Taking his time to roll his hips, watching Castiel slowly start to calm down. Enjoying the sex and the love behind each thrust, Castiel flipped them which Dean ended up with half his body in sand. Which was not exactly pleasant, but he felt Castiel nip at his neck. Dean opened and closed his mouth in pleasure as his Alpha thrusted hard aiming at anything that got the best reaction out of Dean.
“C-Cas.” Dean whimpered as Castiel nipped at his throat, biting a lot harder then Castiel ever has before, Dean hissed noticeably before his hiss turned into a gasp. Castiel knot locked tightly in Dean, as Dean arched his back at the feel. His orgasm hit hard, and the feel of Castiel spilling cum inside of him.
Dean bit his lip in pleasure, having to stop from just giving Castiel a hard nip himself. Castiel choked out loud panting as he pulled back from Dean’s neck to kiss him. Dean obliged to the kisses.
The hot and needy kisses becoming soft and slow kisses, and it wasn’t till Castiel’s cock softened that Castiel pulled out rolling off of Dean into the sandy mud off the blanket shivering instantly at the cold as Dean started to bust up laughing. Dean scooted over for Castiel to join him, as Castiel instantly little spooned against Dean.
“You nipped me good.” Dean stated touching underneath his chin, it was bleeding slightly. Yeah. Maybe they needed to take a break from the sex for a while.
“I’m sorry. You let out this little whimper that drove me wild.” Castiel laughed as he moved in trying to kiss it better but Dean held his face away.
“No way.” Dean laughed as Castiel kissed him softly. Dean kissed back, before Castiel suddenly pulled back.
“S-Shit we didn’t use a condom.” Castiel spoke looking at Dean in fear.
“At least one of us noticed.” Dean laughed sitting up on his elbow. “I’m on birth control remember? Besides I’m going to get plan b on the way home…” Castiel’s face understood why Dean had let the sex continued without the condom, and the comfort for Castiel Dean was trying to give him.
“...Thank you.” Castiel whispered as Dean planted a kiss on his lips.
“...Are you okay to go back inside now?” Dean asked shivering slightly as Castiel slowly nodded before getting up, He helped Dean up as well, both finding their clothes and sneaking inside for a much needed shower to take off the sand.
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Dean’s POV
Dean walked out of the convenient store after his incognito buying and taking Plan b, when Castiel’s family had made their normal pit stop at a seven eleven. Dean climbed into the car, as Castiel gave him a sheepish smile being the only two in the car.
“I just took and bought the pill and the pregnancy test is negative.” Dean tossed him the test, as Castiel caught it only to regret it.
“Dude, gross.” Castiel stuck out his tongue as Dean rolled his eyes.
“Don’t ‘dude’ me.” Dean laughed. “I’m your bro-friend.” Castiel playfully shoved him, as he opened the window tossing the test into the trash outside his window, wiping his hand on his pants. “Come on you’re being a baby, I washed it.”
“I already have a plastic baby, I don’t need two.” Castiel laughed, Dean’s smile faded as he crossed his arms. Castiel instantly shut up. That stupid plastic baby was seriously the biggest thing they fought about and they both hated how much of a problem it caused.
“Why do I need another pain in my ass if I have you?” Dean retorted trying to clear the awkward tension as Castiel gave an awkward laugh, as Castiel’s family returned. When the thirteenth rendition of ‘wheels on the bus’ continued Dean instantly regretted not using his fake id for some booze….