Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Of course the trolley isn't running today.

Viktor grips his cane tighter and tries his hardest to focus on something else other than the way his steps are becoming more and more uneven on the cobblestone walkway. Cobblestone. For such a prestigious school, you’d think they could at least try to make a flat surface for students to walk on. That seems like a basic requirement for a campus whose trolleys never fucking work.

It’s really not that far. Viktor’s apartment is within walking distance of the Engineering Building for a reason. He’s spent more time there in the last year than in his own bed. The Academy was rather understanding of his condition, almost too sympathetic in a way that always made him want to roll his eyes all the way back into his head.

But now he’s a second year. He’s got the hang of this by now. It would just be nice for the trolley to work on the first day back.

When he finally reaches the steps of the Engineering Building, he can’t help but smile at the words “Piltover Academy of Science” glimmering on a gold plaque by the glass doors. It’s kind of corny, but he’s worked his whole life to get here.

So maybe he only made it out of Zaun for undergrad due to some weird diversity law. Maybe he had to (painfully) include his stupid sob story in his entrance essay for grad school. Institutions like this love to make a success story out of some poor sick child prodigy. 

Truth is, Viktor knows he’s smart. He was top of his class, except that one year we don’t talk about, and the professors here love him. He’s smart enough to know everyone underestimates him the first chance they get, and it’s become easy to take advantage of.

Viktor glances down to check his phone and opens the lab assignment email from the Academy. 1229, East wing.

He wonders who he’ll be sharing his lab space with this year. It’s a special privilege of the Phd program to have a dedicated lab space. The only downside is it’s not solely his; he has to share with another student. 

The thing is, Viktor works best alone. His brain just works better that way- when he can spread out across pages and books on his desk and let the chalk on the blackboard flow like an artist with a brush. It’s his oasis, his sanctum.

“Viktor!”

A familiar voice echoes down the hall and light footsteps rush closer.

“Sky.” Viktor smiles when he sees her. He’s not really a people person, but Sky is one he can more than tolerate.

“Weird isn’t it? Being back. Not being- partners anymore.” She stutters on the word partners .

Viktor’s face falls. See, the thing is, as much as he hates the idea of sharing the lab, Sky was a great companion. Helpful, even. She always offered to fetch books from the library for him when he was stumped on his research. She even brought him coffee sometimes. It’s the closest thing Viktor has had to a friend since he started his studies.

“You’re not-” His eyebrows furrow, “we’re not lab partners this year?”

He knew it wasn’t guaranteed, but he hadn’t really thought about the prospect of sharing with someone else.

“Uh, no. I thought you knew, I’m sorry. But hey- we’ll just have to meet up outside the lab this time! Maybe we can actually go get coffee together instead of me just bringing it to you all the time.” She blushes under her glasses.

Viktor hates the coffee shop on campus. It’s too loud and always, always crowded.

“Yeah, maybe we can.” He muses, already looking towards the elevator as his mind wanders up to the new lab waiting for him.

“Great! Well uh- I’ll see you later then?”

“Mhm.” Viktor waves, already making his way towards the buttons on the side of the wall. He presses the arrow pointing up and leans on his cane.

God, I hope it’s not a first year, he thinks. Viktor can’t deal with that this year, there’s so much to do. So much he has to accomplish to prove his idea will actually work. He can’t afford distractions.

By the time he finds the new lab, he’s relieved to be the first one there. It’s shiny and clean and put together. Nothing like the state he and Sky left the old lab. The clean slate of the chalkboard is enticing, and he steps towards it like a new moon falling into orbit.

There’s two desks, on opposite sides of the room. Viktor sets his bag down on the ground and moves towards the chair waiting eagerly for him by the desk on the right side. He collapses into it and sighs. That walk is already catching up with him, and the dull ache of his leg becomes more noticeable, radiating up into the pins in his lower back.

Rays of morning light pierce through the blinds, casting long panels across the room. His old lab window faced westward, so the warm light is a welcome new feature.

Following the rays, his eyes move towards the black countertops and singular sink against the wall. The shelving above is littered with tools and beakers and shiny new equipment, all organized carefully. There’s a few books too, but not nearly enough. Just the basics.

Viktor winces at the idea of walking all the way to the library. Already. On the fucking cobblestone .

This new lab partner has a lot to live up to.

Then suddenly, as if his thoughts manifested it, a new figure bursts into the room.

“Wow!” The man says to himself, Viktor thinks, because he hasn’t noticed his small frame in his peripheral. 

He’s- unexpected. Unlike the other students he’s met on campus. He’s tall, with a muscular figure, almost like he has time to go to the gym for christ’s sake. Do we even have a gym on campus?

His dark hair is pushed back with a few unruly strands falling out of place. And like he doesn’t know what season it is, he’s wearing shorts and a hoodie- a Piltover Academy of Science hoodie. First year , Viktor snorts to himself, definitely a first year.

The man jolts in surprise and almost drops the cardboard box marked “Jayce” in bold marker strokes, “Uh, yeah actually!”

Did Viktor say that out loud? Great, now he’s being an asshole.

“You can have the left side.” Viktor nods towards the opposite desk and great, now he’s really being an asshole.

“Thanks! This is awesome. Our own private lab. And desks!” The box lands with a loud clang. This “Jayce” character fortunately doesn’t seem phased by Viktor's shitty greeting.

“Eh, somewhat private. But awesome I guess.” Viktor remarks, suddenly aware of how thick his accent sounds against Jayce’s excited babbling.

“Yeah, I guess we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together. I’m Jayce. Mechanical Engineering.” He strides forward, offering a hand to shake.

Viktor winces as he braces himself on the desk to stand, and Jayce’s eyes go wide when he looks down to notice the leg brace over Viktor’s pants.

“Oh god I’m sorry- I didn’t-”

“It's fine, I’m capable of standing. That’s why I have this.” Viktor taps the metal of the brace.

“Oh, sweet.” Jayce smiles and glances between the intricate mechanisms of the brace and the textbooks spilling out of Viktor's bag on the floor. “Biomedical then?”

Jayce is smart, Viktor will give him that. 

“Actually, yes.” Viktor raises his eyebrows, impressed.

And that’s that, Jayce returns to his desk and starts unpacking the contents of his box. It’s various tools and equipment that look slightly older than the pristine instruments on the Academy shelves.

Viktor stands leaning against the desk, baffled. No what happened to your leg or oh my god, I’m so sorry . No looks of sympathy. Just oh, sweet. That’s a first. A refreshing first.

As nice as the sentiment is, Jayce quickly ruins it by continuing to talk. And talk. And talk.

He comments on how nice the campus is and how nice the weather is for the first day. He talks about how he’s glad the first year is explorative because he can’t decide what to do his dissertation on. And he asks Viktor so many questions. Does he live on campus, is the food in the dining hall good, how harsh are the professors. It’s exhausting.

Then, if this man couldn’t be more unexpected, “I’m meeting a couple friends for lunch- do you wanna come?”

For some reason, Viktor answers before he processes the question.

“Sure.”

Sure? All Viktor wants to do is get started on his research. Not hang around with a bunch of Academy students eating food and making stupid small talk.

But Jayce is already waiting with the door hanging open.

Viktor grabs his cane from against the wall and throws his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“I just realized- you never told me your name.” Jayce smiles at him with a certain glint in his eyes that makes Viktor feel something… inconvenient. Strange. He files it away in his brain and swallows it down.

“It’s Viktor.”

Chapter Text

Jayce steps out into the soft sunlight of the approaching afternoon and breathes in the fresh air. The Piltover Academy of Science. He’s actually here.

Floor to ceiling glass windows tower over him, reflecting the marble columns bracketing the entrance to the Engineering Building. There’s some shallow stairs leading down to a cobblestone walkway with a couple of bikes leaning against a tree. Across the street, there’s a huge grassy courtyard that’s littered with students enjoying the first day's weather: hammocks strung between trees, a frisbee cutting through the air between friends, a group sitting in a circle chatting excitedly. It makes Jayce’s heart flutter and he fights the urge to run all the way across the field with his arms out.

Viktor, however, continues walking at an even pace down the stairs with a flat expression. His lab partner was, he guesses, just not as easily excitable. Which is fine.

“So are you a second or a third year?” Jayce questions as they part from the building.

“Second.” Viktor replies flatly. Which seems to be the norm for him.

“Oh, that means you start your dissertation this year!”

“Yeah, finally. First year felt like eh, a little bit of a waste of time.”

Waste of time? Geez, Jayce didn’t even know where to start. It’s hard to imagine anyone entering this program with their mind already made up.

“So what’s it on?” He inquires.

“Prosthetics.” Viktor replies, “I did my master’s thesis on more, assistive devices-” He nods to his braced leg and cane, “But it seems I had to think bigger than that. Assistance only goes so far for certain conditions. Now that medical technology is advancing so much, it only makes sense to replace what’s broken with something better, more useful. It’s a practical solution.”

Jayce notices that for the first time since meeting him, Viktor is genuinely smiling as he explains his thought process. There’s a spark of passion in his voice that fills Jayce with instant admiration.

“Wow, that’s- that’s really cool, actually.” Jayce responds and he could hit himself with how dumb he sounds after such an academic monologue from Viktor.

But Viktor just laughs softly. “Yeah, it’s really cool.”

“So when you say assistive devices, you mean-”

“My brace, yeah. Well, not my brace but in general. You can see where the interest comes from though.” Viktor continues.

Jayce watches the way the metal runs up Viktor’s leg and how the pins and joints slide to allow the knee to bend as he walks. It’s fascinating. Jayce wants to take it apart and put it back together again. It’s a habit of his to see something and want to understand it completely, inside and out. He feels like he’s starting to get there with Viktor- starting to figure out what makes him tick. He shouldn’t be surprised that a Phd student likes talking about science so much.

“You can ask- y’know” Viktor says after a while, and Jayce realizes he must’ve been staring a little too much.

“Oh, sorry. It’s not you I swear- mechanic’s instinct. I mean, I like to figure out how things work.” He explains.

“It provides stability, with the cane. There’s a back brace under my shirt too. Strap around the shoulder.” He gestures. “Manages the pain. Provides increased motor function. Also increases staring from weird strangers.”

Jayce’s eyes go wide, but when he sees the smirk on Viktor’s face he realizes it’s a joke. He laughs nervously, unsure how to respond to the candidness of Viktor’s explanation.

Thankfully, they approach the dining hall before he has to come up with a reply.

“Hey- over here you big idiot!” Jayce hears Vi call loudly when they walk in, already at a booth in the corner.

She’s the same familiar swoop of bright pink hair littered with tattoos as she did when he met her. She’s got her arm draped over Caitlyn, who lights up when she lifts her head to see the pair approaching.

“Hey guys, this is my new lab partner Viktor.” Jayce gestures as they approach and move to sit across from Vi and Caitlyn.

“Vi, Psychology. Couldn’t keep up with this geek in mechanical, way too much math.” Vi introduces, and Jayce silently laughs at the memory of studying with her in undergrad. She was truly awful.

“Hi Viktor,” Caitlyn waves, “Caitlyn Kirammen, Forensic Science.”

Viktor’s flat demeanor shifts.

“Like the Kirammmen Institute?” He asks.

“The very same.” She blushes.

“Impressive. Why Piltover then?”

“Would you really want to attend a school your family owns?” She asks, and Viktor gives her an expression that reads with appeased understanding.

They talk, they eat, and although Viktor is quiet, he appears to be listening. In fact, he seems content watching he and Caitlyn bicker like siblings (which they practically are, they grew up together), and Vi starts on her typical rants about how access to mental health services is horrendous.

“No really- my sister, she’s doing great, but if someone had noticed it earlier-” Vi continues.

“You noticed. You helped. And when you’re done with this program you’ll be able to help a lot more people.” Caitlyn says calmly. Vi smiles and kisses her cheek.

He’s known Caitlyn almost his whole life, her parents practically raised him. Vi was a surprise; not at all what he imagined Caitlyn would be interested in but somehow, it works. He can’t imagine either of them with anyone else.

He glances at Viktor, quietly nursing a cup of coffee next to him. He’s only known the man for a couple hours, but Jayce gets the idea that Viktor is not really a people person.

Jayce however, is good at people. Great, even.

“Viktor wants to help people too.” Jayce adds, and the attention of the table shifts.

Viktor seems hesitant at first, but after Vi and Cait start asking questions, he relaxes and the conversation flows easily. He goes into even more detail on the nature of the prosthetics he plans to design, the roadblocks he hit in his first year of research, the hoops he has to jump through to consult with medical professionals. Jayce might have lucked out in the lab partner department because Viktor is maybe the smartest person Jayce has ever met.

“Sweet, so I’ll fix brains and you’ll fix bodies. We’re golden.” Vi smirks, and Viktor lifts his mug of coffee to cheers hers.

When the dining hall slows to its empty post-lunch state, the group finally stack their dishes and stand to leave.

“Vi and I were gonna go out tonight to celebrate the start of the semester, are you two down?” Caitlyn asks as they head to the door.

“Thank god, yes, I could use a night out.” Jayce nods, “What do you say Viktor, do you-?” He turns to see Viktor’s face already contorting with a grimace. Right. Not a people person.

“Eh, I appreciate the offer but I’ve got a lot to get started on.” Viktor explains.

Jayce stops himself from asking if he’s sure because Viktor seems like the kind of guy that’s very sure of himself. But he can’t ignore the disappointment that weighs on his chest. The thing is, Jayce really likes Viktor. Viktor talks science in a way that nobody else he’s met can, and that’s a nice change. He imagines going out with Viktor would be way more bearable, but then he imagines the uncomfortable look on Viktor’s face multiplied by the amount of people that are going to be out tonight. Better not push too much on day one.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in the lab then.” Jayce shrugs and squeezes Viktor’s shoulder gently.

“See you in the lab, Jayce.”

And Viktor turns to leave. Jayce watches him walk out the door and for some reason, has the urge to follow. To cancel his plans with Vi and Cait and go back to the lab. Unpack more of his stuff and ask Viktor more about his research. He figures he could stay up all night doing that.

“I like him.” Vi shrugs and throws on her backpack.

“Yeah, and Mel was all worried you’d have some sexy science chick spending all day in the lab with you.” Caitlyn laughs, “she was going on and on about it last night after you left.”

“Ha- yeah.” Jayce chuckles, still looking towards the door Viktor just walked through. “Guess she doesn’t have to worry about that.”

///

As Viktor walks home, he tries not to think about Jayce’s hand squeezing his shoulder before he left the dining hall. He tries.

See, Jayce is just not what Viktor expected. That’s all. He didn’t expect him to have such broad shoulders or be so tall or look down at him with those bright sparkly excited eyes. 

He expected him to be smart, sure, smart enough to land a Phd track at Piltover but he’s actually interested in Viktor’s research. He asks good questions and keeps up with the word vomit Viktor starts to spill when he gets a little too passionate. Sky was smart, of course, but their conversations were usually more about who was going to buy printer paper refills next. They didn’t talk this… in depth. Maybe that’s Viktor’s fault.

Sky also wasn’t a six-foot golden adonis with perfect hair and-

Okay, maybe Viktor was attracted to Jayce.

Maybe the whole time Jayce talked and joked with his friends at the dining hall he was trying not to stare at his arms or think about the way they flexed when he carried the assumedly heavy box of equipment to his desk earlier that morning. 

Okay, slow down, Viktor thought to himself, this is a problem and you know it.

Viktor is going to spend an entire year with this man in very close quarters. Often. He needs to get it together. Fast.

Since when has Viktor ever been distracted by shit like this? It’s not like he’s completely celibate but Viktor has way more important things to accomplish. He’s a Phd candidate for god’s sake, and a damn good one. He doesn’t have time to worry about trivial crushes.

Plus, it’s honestly never been a problem before. Viktor’s very good about keeping his personal life separate from the real work. The important work.

As if to remind him, the familiar dull pain from his leg begins to creep up on him again.

Luckily, he’s made it to his apartment. He unlocks the front door and practically stumbles inside. He needs to sleep.

Viktor glances at the clock reading 4:12pm. Okay maybe not sleep. A bath, then.

He begins the ritual of an afternoon bath as he has a thousand times before. If the lab doesn’t work, the bath does. It provides clarity and a nice break from the pain. He’s come up with great ideas in the bath. Surely, he’ll come up with something groundbreaking on dealing with this lab partner problem in the bath.

Viktor carefully removes each article of clothing. Shoes, socks. Vest, tie, shirt. The buckles and hinges of the leg brace. Pants. And finally, with a few clicks and a release of the shoulder strap, the back braces loosens.

He hums to himself when he finally submerges into the warm water.

He almost forgets the problem at hand when his phone vibrates in his forgotten pants pocket.

Reaching to grab it from the floor he sees “New Friend Request!” in his notification center. He taps it. Jayce Talis.

Viktor groans and slides until his whole face is underwater.

Chapter Text

“That’s at least your third cup, I’ve been counting this time.” Jayce scolds.

Viktor waves his hand in the air as if to shoo Jayce away and cradles the coffee mug delicately, still staring at the intricate markings on the chalkboard like he’s waiting for them to change on their own or spring to life and dance around the room.

Jayce watches him, as he’s made a habit of doing the past couple weeks in the lab. The man is fascinating . He stares for hours at hand-drawn diagrams and makes the occasional adjustment, notation, and then stares again. Sometimes, on a “bad day” as Viktor calls them, he sits at the desk across from Jayce and stares at books to rest his leg. But the next day, same as ever, he’s back to standing crooked in front of the chalkboard.

“Have you actually eaten anything today?” Jayce asks, trying again to break Viktor from the zone of concentration he’s been in for hours.

Still nothing.

“Viktor. ”

“It’s my second actually,” Viktor finally replies, still facing the opposite direction, “For a Phd student you’re quite bad at simple math.”

“Three,” Jayce repeats, “Skye brought you one this morning. It’s still on your desk, you moron.”

Viktor finally turns and looks almost surprised at the half-empty plastic cup on his desk. The ice is long melted and the condensation has created a small pool of water around the bottom.

“Oh. Three then.” He corrects himself, and turns back to the blackboard.

Viktor is a great lab partner. He really is. He’s quiet and methodical. He doesn’t ask questions about what Jayce is up to or what he did last night. He bought a coffee maker for the lab for them to share (although Viktor uses it much, much more than Jayce).

It’s Jayce’s fault for not getting his work done. He doesn’t know where to start. He knows the assignments and required reading is supposed to inspire him, and it’s interesting, sure, but nothing that sparks a passion in him like Viktor has. 

If anything is inspiring Jayce right now it’s Viktor. The way he knows exactly what he wants to do, who he is, his place in the world. Jayce feels like he’s far away from ever figuring that out for himself.

Jayce watches Viktor again, staring at him almost as intensely as Viktor stares at the chalkboard.

“You need real food. You should text Sky, she’s always asking you to go to that cafe. You could even have a fourth cup of coffee there. With food. ” Jayce pleads.

Because the part of him that wants to figure Viktor out hasn’t yet quite figured out how the man stays upright living off of coffee and the occasional bag of chips.

“She always does that.” Viktor sighs, almost annoyed. Almost.

Jayce grins, catching on.

“Because she likes you.” He teases.

“Of course she likes me. We spent a whole year as lab partners without killing each other. Can’t say the same for you yet.” Viktor teases back, missing the point.

“No, she likes you. She’s trying to ask you out on a date.” Jayce clarifies. A pause. “And you should say yes because she’s pretty cute.”

Now Viktor turns again, peeling his eyes away from the board dramatically.

“I’m not interested.”

Now he looks annoyed. But Jayce can’t shut up because that part of him that needs to figure out this strange brilliant person needs to know more and more and more.

“Why not? She gets you coffee.” Jayce nods to the sad, wet cup again, “And she’s nice. And you seem to tolerate her which is more than I can say about like, anyone else that comes in h-”

“I’m gay, Jayce.” Viktor interrupts, matter-of-factly.

Oh.

Oh.

Now Jayce feels like an idiot.

“Oh- yeah, yeah that would explain it. That uh, makes sense now.” He stutters, looking down at his hands, not sure why the sudden revelation is making him feel so warm and sweaty and wow is it hot in here? Is the AC even on?

“Is that going to be… a problem?”

Jayce looks up again and Viktor’s eyes are piercing him with more intensity than he’s even seen. Is this what the blackboard feels like all day? Or the books? So pinned down like a scared animal with nowhere to run?

“No!” Jayce blurts out. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

“I mean no, I guess I just feel bad for Sky. That’s all.” He offers instead, shrugging it off in a way that he hopes looks cool and casual and not like his skin is on fire for some reason.

Viktor just continues staring, and it feels like he’s looking for some kind of answer that Jayce failed to provide. To a question that Jayce also can’t figure out.

“Yeah,” He finally breaks the silence, also offering a small shrug before turning his back towards Jayce again, “Too bad.”

Jayce doesn’t bring up lunch again.

///

Viktor, for the life of him, cannot figure Jayce out. He’s not sure why he even wants to.

But there’s a nagging in his chest every time they’re in the lab together. Every time Jayce says goodbye for the night and squeezes Viktor’s shoulder before heading to his apartment on the opposite side of campus. Every time Viktor feels Jayce’s eyes staring into the back of his head while he’s trying to focus.

It’s been a long time since Viktor has had any interest in what people think of him. So why does he care so much about what Jayce thinks of him?

Lab partners don’t stare like that. That’s for sure. Did Sky ever stare like that? Viktor feels bad that he can’t recall. Maybe she does like him like Jayce suggested and he’s been a total dick to her. That would be unfortunate.

So maybe Jayce is more than a lab partner. He’s a friend. Viktor can live with that.

What Viktor can’t live with though, is the way Jayce looks at him and touches him and lights up when Viktor even turns to him to address him. It’s got to be more than that.

“Ugh,” Viktor groans aloud as his alarm goes off again. He smacks his phone to shut it up and the brings his fingers to his temples as if to focus harder.

It’s a bad day. He can tell and he hasn’t even tried to get up yet.

Only way to get results is to test the theory.

So he sits up and swings his legs over the side on the bed, immediately met with pain. This time it’s shooting up the nerves and muscles in his legs and hip and back and Viktor wants to punch the nightstand.

Viktor is used to this. Viktor can deal with this. But when there’s work to be done and he’s going to be practically chained to his desk chair all day… he’d rather eat nails.

Nails are not within arms reach at the moment though, so he decides he has to get up.

His hands work over the straps on his braces and buttons on his clothes absentmindedly until everything feels secure and he looks like a functioning person in the mirror.

“Huh,” He snorts to himself, “functioning.”

That’s what all the doctors and therapists say. The goal is to increase functioning. Functioning and pain management. Every new treatment was for that purpose.

Viktor gets it when they explain- more functioning and less pain makes for a better quality of life. But Viktor barely feels like a functioning person. It’s funny, really, in its own way.

He knows he should be telling his doctor that the bad days have been more frequent, but he can’t stand the idea of going back just yet. Last time it was a surgery that put him behind a whole semester and he had to take double the coursework afterwards to make up for it. No, not right now.

Right now he needs to be in the lab with Jayce.

Well, not because Jayce is there, but he probably will be and that’s fine with Viktor. He doesn’t mind the company.

Viktor enters the lab, coffee in hand, greeted with that bright fucking smile against the rays of late-morning light. His stomach twists up in knots and Viktor tries his best not to act like he’s in the presence of some radiant blinding angelic figure.

Comparing Jayce to angel now, Viktor thinks to himself, this has gotten way out of hand.

“Viktor!” Jayce sounds so damn pleased, “I thought you weren’t coming in today. But I made coffee just in case. It’s probably kinda cold- sorry.”

“You made- coffee?” Viktor suddenly wants to chuck his own thermos out the window.

“Well yeah, you always start the machine when you come in and it seemed like you were gonna be late and also Sky hasn’t been by yet so… coffee!” Jayce gestures toward the little machine on the counter with a full coffee pot like it’s the prize on a game show.

Viktor smiles. It’s sweet. Definitely more than lab partners , he notes.

“Well, I’ll need double today anyways.” He sips his thermos and can’t stop fucking smiling.

Jayce’s face falls into a frown, “Bad day?”

Viktor nods, “Bad day.”

Viktor turns towards his desk, takes one step, and then his knee buckles.

The thermos hits the ground with the clatter of the cane and spills hot coffee all over the floor as Viktor goes crashing into the desk, where he fails to catch himself, and tumbles onto the floor as well.

Fuck.

“Viktor!” He hears a sound that can only be Jayce practically leaping from his desk to rush to Viktor’s sprawled body on the ground.

Viktor just groans as the pain dials up to unbearable and clutches his leg at the joint above his knee.

“Oh my god- are you okay? Fuck, can I-” Jayce stutters and he sounds so fucking worried.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Viktor interrupts in a way that comes out very not-fine.

“No that was a bad fall, hold on-”

And suddenly Jayce is hoisting Viktor up onto his good leg by a strong grip on his arms ( very strong, Viktor notes, filed away in that place where everything else about Jayce goes). But Viktor is still unsteady and instead collapses into Jayce.

For a moment, just a moment, Viktor wants to lean into it and run his hands up under Jayce’s shirt because he’s so warm and beautiful and-

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Viktor almost jumps at the realization that he’s not just daydreaming about being pressed against his lab partner’s chest. He leans away and keeps a hand on Jayce’s hip to steady himself, only because if he doesn’t he’s pretty sure he’ll be back on the floor instantly.

“Yeah- yeah I’m fine.” Viktor nods, catching his breath, “Hurts, but fine. Didn’t hit my head or anything.”

Viktor offers a pained smile, just for extra convincing.

Jayce looks Viktor over like he’s trying to decide if Viktor is really telling the truth, and then smiles when his inspection comes out clear. 

“Good- don’t wanna lose any of those precious brain cells. You’re too smart for that.” Jayce rubs a hand over Viktor’s hair, then helps him to the desk chair.

That was- there’s no way that was just a friendly exchange. That felt… different. Charged with electricity. 

After Jayce ensures Viktor is okay (not too much because Jayce knows by now Viktor hates the extra attention, especially when it comes to his leg), Viktor runs his hand through the hair Jayce touched.

Definitely more than lab partners.

Three weeks in and Viktor is still getting frustrating mixed messages. You’d think the “I’m gay” talk would lead to “I’m gay too” if he really was but that got Viktor nowhere. It seems no matter how up-front he tries to be, Jayce just doesn’t get it. Jayce, the man that got accepted to the Piltover Academy of Science for Mechanical Engineering, might actually be an idiot.

But if he’s not gay, and he’s not thinking about Viktor in that way, then why all the staring and touching and hair-stroking? Is Viktor going insane?

He might be. He just might be.

“Ugh, I’m wiped.” Jayce groans across the room and hits his forehead against an open book.

“Still nothing?” Viktor offers sympathetically. Jayce, like a typical first-year, is overwhelmed with the prospect of a research topic for his coursework. Viktor knows the feeling of the looming dissertation all too well.

“I mean, some of this stuff is cool but I don’t know.” Jayce shrugs, flipping through his notebook.

Viktor props his elbows up on the desk and gives Jayce his full attention. Which is easy because Jayce is, y’know, nice to look at. He nods at the notebook Jayce is flipping through, “Gimme your best idea so far.”

Jayce bites his lip in thought and Viktor stares. More than he should. He wants to kiss Jayce. Maybe he should tell him.

Wait, what? No.

“I drew this last week and don’t hate it.” Jayce holds up a sketch from the notebook.

“Uhh…” Viktor tries and fails to keep a small laugh inside, “A… hammer?”

Jayce laughs and shakes his head, “Yeah, stupid. A Phd in hammers.”

Viktor allows himself to laugh fully this time.

The thing is, being around Jayce is so easy. He’s easy to talk to and definitely easy to look at. But it’s not just that Jayce is undeniably hot, it’s that he’s also brilliant. Despite the difficulty with the whole research-topic thing, Jayce really knows what he’s doing. The problem is he’s fascinated by so much that he can’t pick just one thing yet. And that’s also kind of hot. His sheer fascination that knows no boundaries.

The train of thought is interrupted when Caitlyn knocks on the open door of the lab.

“Hey there you two. Office hours?” She pipes up.

“Cait!” Jayce glances at Viktor, almost for permission. So Viktor nods and looks back down at his book. Jayce smiles and turns back to Cait, “Come on in! We’re finishing up soon I think.”

Viktor smiles, just to himself, at the fact that Jayce thinks of him and his distaste for distractions in the lab. Caitlyn though, he doesn’t mind. She’s thoughtful and seems to really care about Jayce. They practically finish each other’s sentences sometimes. Viktor never had siblings growing up, but he figured this is kind of like that.

She’s also attractive, and Jayce never stares at her, so Viktor’s got that in the evidence pile too. Just to be sure.

“I’ve got a proposition for you two.” She smirks, leaning against Jayce’s bookshelf.

She turns to Viktor this time, “Jayce and I have some friends from the Kirammen Institute coming for the weekend. I was gonna take them to The Last Drop when they get in tonight, do you want to meet us there?”

The Last Drop, Viktor’s heard them talk about this place. Some bar Vi used to work at in undergrad.

Jayce looks toward him too, again, silently asking for permission. Viktor’s heart skips just a little and he knows he has to weigh the options here before responding carefully.

If Viktor is ever going to make a move, he’s going to need alcohol. And maybe somewhere to run away to if it goes horribly wrong so, not the lab. Not here. And if not here, then…

“Okay, yeah. The Last Drop.” Viktor nods, speaking before he can talk himself out of it.

Chapter Text

Jayce bobs his head to the thrum of the bass and watches the door intently.

“They’ll show, don’t worry.” Caitlyn repeats to him, though it still doesn’t break his trance, “It’s just a bit of traffic. I’m sure they’re almost here.

Jayce feels guilty because he’s not worried about his friends from Kirammen, he’s worried about Viktor.

Viktor is late. Viktor is only late on bad days, and today seemed okay at the lab. But this isn’t the lab, it’s a bar. Jayce has never met up with Viktor off-campus, and they’ve known each other for almost a whole month at this point.

How is that true? Jayce racks his brain for any time they might’ve met up but no, it’s always the lab. Or a quick bite at the dining hall. Or a walk to the library because Viktor always complains when he has to walk there alone.

Jayce has never seen Viktor in a setting like this, and that makes his stomach turn nervously. Why was he so nervous? So what if Viktor’s late? Why does this feel like such a big deal?

“Jayce- are you okay? Do you want to call her or something?” Caitlyn prods again.

“Who?”

“Mel. Do you want to call Mel?” Caitlyn asks again, “Why are you being so weird?”

Jayce shakes his head and tries to snap out of it.

“No, no, like you said, they’re almost here. Let’s just get another round. I’ll get this one.” He offers.

After collecting drink orders from Cait (dirty shirley) and Vi (vodka cran), he shoves his way past the dancing bodies back to the bar.

As he waits for the drinks, he tries to stop his leg from bouncing on the barstool. He can’t. He’s so goddamn nervous so seemingly no reason. Because of Viktor? Because he’s meeting up with his lab partner for a drink on a Friday night? Or because his friends from Kirammen were coming tonight?

Truthfully, he’s been so wrapped up in the program that he hasn’t kept up with everyone that well. Sure, most of them went to grad school together, but that just feels so long ago now. A lifetime ago, even. He can’t remember a time before mornings in the lab with the drip of the shitty coffee maker and Viktor’s silent, comforting presence across the room.

“The infamous Last Drop, eh?”

Jayce’s heart practically lurches out of his chest when he hears the familiar lilt of Viktor’s accent. Then he turns around and his heart straight up flatlines.

Viktor’s leaning against the bar next to Jayce in a loose, almost oversized t-shirt and tight jeans. The dark leather straps of his leg brace match the tone of the denim perfectly. In stark contrast to his usual button-up or occasional sweater, Viktor’s skin is on full display like Jayce has never seen.

Delicate collar bones peak from the wide collar of the shirt, and- holy shit- Viktor has tattoos. Strange patterns of oblong ovals and some kind of stretched webbing weave down his upper arm from under his shirt sleeve. It’s mesmerizing and beautiful and how did Jayce not know Viktor had tattoos?

“Jayce?” Viktor’s tone shifts from the previous playful opening. “You okay?”

Jayce blinks and clears his throat. Huh.

“Viktor- wow, I didn’t know you were here I- you look great, wow!” Jayce stumbles to the compliment and then bites his tongue. You look great? Weird compliment for a lab partner that you’re hanging out with for the first time outside of work.

“Ha, thanks. Guess it’s different from the usual lab attire. Trust me, I’m not that pretentious.”

“No, it’s good. Good different. I guess I just realized a second ago we don’t get out of the lab much.” Jayce tries desperately to recover from whatever the fuck is going on right now.

Viktor smiles and- is he blushing? It is pretty hot in here with all the people. Maybe not.

“No, we don’t. You should drag me out more often.” Viktor turns to the bartender, “Vodka shot please.”

“Starting with shots? That’s how this night is gonna go?” Jayce laughs. His nerves fade a little. It’s easy, being around Viktor. He wishes Viktor did come out with the group more often.

Viktor grabs the small glass and tosses it back, barely wincing.

“Calm the nerves.” He says afterwards, sniffing and turning back to Jayce.

Nerves? So Jayce isn’t the only one feeling absolutely out of it right now?

“Ha, then I guess I’ll have one too.”

Viktor takes a second shot with Jayce and wow, yeah, that does calm the nerves. Just as the conversation starts flowing, Jayce feels a nudge on his shoulder.

“Hey where’s our dr- oh shit, Viktor you look hot.” Vi appears with Cait in tow and claps excitedly at Viktor.

Now Viktor’s blushing, Jayce is sure this time.

“I was just telling Jayce we’ve never uh, hung out like this before. I like to keep things professional in the academic world. You know how it is.” Viktor responds, and now he’s nursing a glass of brownish liquid that Jayce didn’t even see him order.

“Well if you actually accepted our previous invites, we’d know you weren’t such a stuck-up loser.” Vi laughs and Viktor laughs along.

“Jayce, are those the drinks you ordered for us like, twenty minutes ago?” Cait nods towards some glasses in front of Jayce that he swears weren’t there before.

“Shit- sorry, here-” Jayce quickly passes them to the girls.

They take sips and share nods of approval. Vi tucks a stray strand of indigo hair behind Cait’s ear and she giggles.

“Well, back to the dance floor I guess. You fuckers better come join us soon though! I wanna hear about those tattoos!” Vi calls out as Cait starts to drag them both away.

Jayce and Viktor sit in warm, fuzzy silence for a beat. Viktor looks like he wants to say something, but then looks down and begins to swirl his drink in his glass repeatedly.

“So- I also wanna hear about the tattoos. Is there a story or something? I mean, there doesn’t have to be, they’re really cool.” Jayce is babbling now. Babbling two drinks in. He can usually hold his liquor better.

“Kind of. Just something I used to doodle on my notes. I call it my wild rune.” Viktor traces a finger against the lines on his bicep and Jayce surprises an odd urge to also reach out and touch it.

“Wild rune?” Jayce asks.

“Yeah, I don’t know. To me it represents something unexpected, unpredictable. A manifestation of the idea that we do not have full control of our lives and where they take us.” Viktor explains further, “I like to think I’m in control but, I’m really not, and something about the chaotic nature of the shapes is, I guess comforting? Sorry, I’m rambling. And that’s a bit existential for how early in the evening it is…”

“No, no, Viktor it’s- it’s beautiful.” Jayce says earnestly, giving into the urge and reaching out his hand to place it on top of Viktor’s.

Viktor looks up with a complicated expression that Jayce just can’t pin down. He looks torn, but hopeful? Maybe it’s the alcohol.

“Jayce-” Viktor starts, and he takes a long pause, breathing deeply, “There’s actually something I wanted to ask you. Or tell you, I guess.”

Jayce wants to ask what’s wrong; he wants to know what kind of question would make Viktor look so genuinely nervous when Jayce knows how good Viktor is at covering all that up. All that pain. Jayce knows because he sees the subtle winces that flit away as fast as they appear. He knows Viktor has spent probably his whole life mastering how to cover how he really feels. About everything.

Jayce opens his mouth to speak, and Viktor looks earnestly, like whatever is about to happen is balancing on a pinpoint and he’s afraid of whatever fall is beneath in the abyss.

“Hey there handsome.” A feminine voice phases into the conversation as two slender arms wrap around Jayce’s neck and shoulders, decorated in elegant gold jewelry.

“Mel- oh, hi Viktor this is-” Jayce turns to see the familiar woman draped over him. Mel looks at him expectantly.

God this is awkward. He guesses they didn’t really define it before he left and he has no idea where they stand after…oh god, after they slept together. That did happen.

Mel is still looking to him, soft smile wavering as Jayce hesitates on his answer.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

///

Viktor feels like he’s underwater.

Jayce has a girlfriend.

Jayce has a girlfriend.

This whole time, he had a girlfriend. That can’t be right. No, no if he had a girlfriend, then how could Viktor possibly be sitting here about to ask Jayce on a date?

Oh my god, Viktor thinks, I was about to ask him on a date.

Even worse, I wanted to kiss him.

No, this really can’t be right. What about the evidence? The files stored away in his brain he’d been meticulously collecting and documenting over the past few weeks?

Viktor thinks back to the day he fell into Jayce’s chest and Jayce stroked his hair lovingly. Was it lovingly? Viktor tries hard to bring forward some kind of unbiased version of that day but he might as well have doodled stupid little floating hearts all over the whole thing.

Jayce has a girlfriend.

Viktor’s hand is still frozen on the line of the wild rune and he swears he can still feel where Jayce’s hand had just been over his. Touching him. While Viktor went on the dumbest tipsy rant about control and chaos and the nature of the universe.

Viktor feels his own universe twisting upside down and inside out again and again on itself because Jayce has a girlfriend.

“- in the Engineering department?” Mel says, and clearly Viktor has tuned out some important parts of this conversation because she’s looking right at him like she’s asked him a question.

“Hm?” He says, still unable to form words properly. In english, nonetheless. Stupid language.

“Jayce has been telling me you share a lab in the engineering department.” She repeats.

“Mhm.” Viktor nods and finishes his drink. Something he’s very capable of doing right now.

“Biomed. He’s a genius.” Jayce adds, smiling toward Viktor.

Viktor wants to throw up.

“Impressive.” She raises her eyebrows.

Viktor finally gets a clear look at Mel, ears still ringing. She’s admittedly, a very attractive woman. Her braids are dotted with golden cuffs and she's done her makeup to match with gold accents. A tight, ivory dress hugs her body down to her thighs. A bit much for a bar like this, but who’s Viktor to judge? She’s stunning.

Viktor glances at the rest of the group that has now joined Cait and Vi on the dance floor. Is the guy with blonde dreads holding- a skateboard? That’s certainly something.

“Viktor’s a second year so he is way further along than me. I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Viktor’s dissertation project is so cool though- Viktor tell her!” Jayce giggles and oh, Jayce is drunk. Alarm sounds start going off in Viktor’s head. Escape, escape, escape.

“Prosthetics.” Viktor manages to choke out, and Jayce beams with pride. Fucker.

“Jayce, as much as I love hearing about your lab partner’s endeavors,” Mel grabs Jayce’s hand and Vikor winces. Just slightly. He thinks. “I’d love to hear more about you.”

Escape, escape, escape.

Vi arrives in the conversation with perfect timing.

“Hey, I’m gonna step out for a sec and-” she makes a familiar motion of two fingers pinched up to her lips, smirking.

“Yes.” Viktor replies almost too fast and practically jumps off the barstool, grabbing his cane and gripping it tight.

He heads to the door without looking back.

“Didn’t peg you for the smoking type.” Vi nudges Viktor before she lifts the joint up to her lips and inhales, leaning back against the brick wall in the alley.

“Are you kidding?” Viktor chuckles, “Chronic pain, remember? This shit is one of the only things that actually helps.”

It’s true. Viktor would be lying if he said he didn’t have a stash in his apartment for the really bad days. He considered trying to get one of those medical cards but that means going to the doctor. Viktor’s still not ready for that yet. Maybe soon.

“This and baths.” He adds, taking a drag from the joint when Vi passes it.

The smoke fills his lungs with a familiar burnt earth taste. Viktor closes his eyes and breathes out deeply, letting the substance cloud his mind a little more. Anything to distract him from the absolute disaster this night has turned out to be.

“Baths? Huh.” Vi takes the joint back.

“Good for the joints.” Viktor nods, eyes closed.

They stand in the alley with a silent rhythm. Inhale, exhale, pass. The thump of the music inside feels farther away, thank god.

“So is it true? Do all lab partners end up fucking before the end of the semester?” Vi asks, and Vikor coughs up a cloud of smoke prematurely.

“Wh-what?”

“I’m just kidding Viktor. I’m just saying it’s kind of homoerotic, staying locked up in that little room all day together.” She snorts to herself as she swipes the joint back.

Viktor panics, “No, no way I mean it’s- no Jayce is, well he’s Jayce and-”

“Oh my god.” Vi freezes, her smirk deepening.

“No, Vi-”

“You want him.”

“I swear to god if you-”

“You DO!” She shouts and Viktor throws his hand over her mouth.
“Vi,” he takes a deep breath, “You cannot tell Caitlyn.”

His face must’ve been pleading enough because Vi holds her hands up as Viktor releases his grip on her jaw.

Viktor continues, “You can’t because she’s his best friend and you can’t make her keep a secret like that from him. Promise.”

“Fine, I promise. But you need to figure this mess out.” Vi sighs and leans back, then smirks again, “I knew it.” She adds under her breath.

Viktor sighs in reply and takes one last drag, blowing it as far as he can into the darkness.

“I’m working on it. Just got complicated. Really complicated.” Viktor says.

“Mel, huh? He’s such an idiot, dude.” Vi shakes her head.

Viktor just laughs because what else can he do but laugh at this point? Since when does his life revolve around hot guys and unrequited pining and being jealous of pretty girls? It’s so stupid.

He takes a deep breath and lets the smoke and alcohol swirl together in his system to fill the space with something other than thoughts of Jayce.

Chapter Text

The once clean and empty lab begins to fill in around the edges with the everyday mess and clutter of two diligent students. Clouds of chalk dust remain almost permanently suspended in the beam of light from the window, and there’s a scuff on the wall on the right side of the entrance where Viktor leaves his cane. 

Jayce’s desk always has a stack of several books teetering on the corner. Post-it notes litter the whole desk with due dates and there’s even one stuck to the cover of a book reading “return to library!” that’s probably been there for weeks untouched. 

Behind him on the chalkboard are ideas separated into categories that don’t really have anything in common. Some articles from a robotics competition here and there with highlighted quotes and measurements. Even Jayce’s hammer sketch remains tacked onto the top of the board. He’d tried to throw it away but the next day Viktor had hung it back up with the note “Jayce Talis, Phd in Hammers” and an arrow pointing towards it. Now he can’t bear to take it down because he smiles every time he sees it.

Viktor’s side of the lab is covered on every possible surface with sketches and diagrams and hastily scrawled notebook pages. There’s a large human anatomy poster by the window with markings and measurements written in a red pen. And when that wasn’t enough, Jayce walked into the lab and was greeted with the sight of Viktor putting together a full-sized mannequin in the corner of the room one day.

“No, no way. That’s way too creepy.” Jayce shakes his head and walks toward Viktor, who’s frozen with the leg in hand like he’s been caught in a trap. “Where did you even get that?”

Viktor shrugs, “Does it matter? I need it for my studies.”

He goes back to attaching the leg and then when it clicks in place, he mutters something in an unfamiliar language and stands up to admire the full figure.

“Ah- there we go. Perfect.”

Jayce laughs, “Still creepy. It’s gonna stare at me all day while I’m trying to work.”

“Jayce, one: it doesn’t have eyes,” Viktor gestures toward the blank expression on the mannequin head, “And two: you stare at me all day and I still manage to get work done.”

Jayce feels blood rush up to his face.

“I do n-”

“Yes, you do, actually. I’m starting to get afraid you’re planning to steal my brilliant ideas for yourself.”

Jayce opens his mouth to defend himself but realizes Viktor has a small tilt at the corner of his mouth hiding a smug half-smile. It’s hard to tell when Viktor is joking or actually annoyed at Jayce, but that little smile always bleeds through eventually.

“Oh I am. I’m gonna build a prosthetic arm that shoots lasers.” Jayce replies.

“Lasers? I’ve got to up my game then.”

It’s like that for the next few weeks. Banter, working, a growing pile of library books beside each of their desks. Everything seems fine, but Viktor never goes out with Jayce and his friends again. In fact, every time Jayce even mentions it Viktor has some excuse to brush it off and continue working.

Then, fall slowly begins to set in at Piltover. The trees begin to corrode at the edges with rusty leaves that eventually fall and litter the pathways with speckled browns and golds. The local cafe soon smells of chai and cinnamon that wafts through the doorway with every patron passing through, gripping their steaming to-go cups with care. 

Even with his unhealthy coffee addiction, Viktor never goes. When Skye’s visits become less frequent (Jayce thinks she’s taken the hint at this point, poor girl), Jayce starts to bring an extra cup with him to the lab. By now Jayce has figured out the do’s and don'ts of Viktor’s coffee order. Cinnamon earns Jayce a content hum on the first sip. Mocha makes his eyebrows furrow, but he drinks it. Caramel was left on Viktor’s desk, forgotten and replaced with a standard cup from the lab’s machine.

Today Jayce brings him pumpkin, a seasonal flavor that was written on the “cup of the day” board next to the checkout counter. Viktor picks it up immediately when Jayce drops it by his desk and takes a sip.

Viktor looks up in thought as he savors the taste, then exhales and smiles.

“Huh- this is quite good actually. I like this one.” He nods in approval and keeps it in his hand as he inspects a new formula on the board.

“It’s pumpkin. For October.” Jayce chimes in, smiling at the fact that today’s coffee was a win.

“October? Is it October already? Good god.” Viktor sighs and slumps into the desk chair.

They sit in silence, drinking coffee and both thinking about the time that’s already gone by this semester.

“So uh, how’s your girlfriend?” Viktor asks, and it takes Jayce by surprise because Viktor never talks about stuff like this, let alone is the one to bring it up.

Jayce must look confused because Viktor adds, “Mel. How’s Mel?”

“Oh-” Jayce sits up, “she’s good. Busy. Haven’t seen her since she last visited.”

Viktor appears to wince at the statement, and Jayce doesn’t blame him, he knows that the night at The Last Drop was pretty terrible for him. Jayce knows that’s why Viktor refuses to come out with him again. Why Viktor goes stiff and silent every time Jayce brings up anything from that night.

Caitlyn says Viktor ended up throwing up outside the bar at the end of the night. Jayce feels terrible. Like really, really terrible. But Viktor refuses to let Jayce apologize and insists that he didn’t do anything wrong.

He must’ve though, right? He must’ve done something. Maybe he said something stupid when he was drunk and now Viktor has a different opinion of him. Even though things are good, it has been different since that night. Jayce just can’t figure out why.

Viktor drops the conversation there, but the fact that something is clearly wrong is eating away at Jayce.

“Do you wanna get lunch maybe? We can swing by the dining hall and get something to go and bring it back here or something. If you want.” Jayce tests the waters, already knowing the kind of answer he’s going to get.

“No, Jayce,” Viktor sighs, standing back up, “I’ve got to finish this draft before the weekend.”

“Well maybe when you’re done we can go to that place on the corner Caitlyn was telling us about-”

“Jayce, I’m sorry. I can’t. This is important.” Viktor pleads, almost like he’s begging Jayce to stop asking.

“Okay. That’s fine, I just wanted to offer.” Jayce sits back, defeated.

Viktor doesn’t reply, he just turns back to the chalkboard and they both fall into their silent rhythm once again.

So the weekend comes, and Cait and Vi don’t ask about Viktor this time when Jayce shows up at The Last Drop alone. He can tell they want to though, from the disappointment on their faces.

On Sunday, Jayce is restless, and that familiar adrenaline rush of anxiety sets in quickly. While he’s making breakfast, his heart is racing and he feels a tremor coming on in his hand while he scoops up eggs from the pan onto his plate.

Jayce never had anxiety like this until recently. Not in grad school, not when he was interviewing for the Phd track, but now- it’s impossible to escape. Ever since he started the program, he feels like this when he’s outside the lab. His heart pounds like he’s being chased by a horrible creature.

Thu-thump

Thu-thump

Thu-thump.

Jayce clutches his chest but it only gets worse, and his head is swimming with thoughts like the inside of his skull is a crowded room with everyone screaming at him and pulling him in a million directions.

Things have been so weird lately. He doesn’t feel like himself- he’s changed somehow. When everything is going so well how could he feel so terrible? So lost?

Is it the pressure of school? The research?

Is it the fact that he’s so far from home and living in such a new place?

Is it Mel? Is it Viktor?

Viktor.

His pulse quickens.

Viktor has been acting weird lately. Or has he been acting weird?

He felt like they were getting somewhere last month. Viktor is slow to open up but he started to. Jayce felt the mechanisms start falling into place as those walls broke down before him. He felt like they were becoming close, in a way. In a good way

After that night at The Last Drop, he felt the walls repair themselves immediately. That night. What happened that night?

He thinks back to when he and Viktor were sitting at the bar together. Viktor smelled like new cologne and his hair was swept across his temples like the brush stroke of a painting. He was close enough to appreciate the moles on his face accenting his cheekbone under his eye and above the side of his mouth.

He thinks about how Viktor’s skin was painted with ink up his arm and under the soft, dark, fabric of his shirt. Jayce wonders if there’s more- if the wild runes continue up his shoulders and down his chest. If Viktor would trace his hand along them and he talks about the chaos out in the universe pulling at the strings of fate.

Lost in the train of thought, the thrumming of Jayce’s pulse increases rapidly and he feels a twisting in the pit of his stomach. A twisting that begins creeping lower and lower down his abdomen and to-

Suddenly, he notices the burning smell of half of the eggs left in the hot pan and flinches to turn it off, bumping the searing metal with his knuckles and stumbling back, cursing under his breath.

“Fuck. Fuck!” Jayce shakes his hand as if to extinguish invisible flames, and luckily it was only a small burn.

He takes a deep breath and tries to focus, but his heartbeat is wild and he’s trying so hard to pretend that feeling beneath his abdomen isn’t there. That it isn’t there because of Viktor.

Viktor, his lab partner. His friend.

Thinking about him again only makes his whole body feel electrified, to Jayce’s utter shock and humiliation.

“No.” Jayce says out loud in the middle of his kitchen and shakes his head as if to send the thoughts flying out, “No- this is not happening.”

I barely slept last night. I’m just sleep deprived. Jayce tries to rationalize in his mind. Stranger things have happened due to sleep deprivation.

Have they?

Jayce abandons the eggs and marches for the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He looks deranged. Unshaven, hair sticking up from sleep still, completely flushed in his face and down the front of his chest.

What the fuck is going on.

He turns on the shower and locks the door. Just in case. (Jayce lives alone, but the thought of anyone happening to wander in is enough to make him want to shrivel and burn up like the abandoned eggs back in the kitchen.)

There’s a long moment where Jayce breathes heavily in front of the mirror while the steam fills the room.

Jayce has nothing against being gay. Fuck, his best friends are gay. He has no issue with it. It’s just that Jayce isn’t gay. He’d know by now certainly, right? Most people figure this sort of thing out before pursuing a damn Phd.

Is that how it works? Maybe he should ask Caitlyn.

No, there is no way Jayce is telling Caitlyn about this. If he brings it up, he’ll have to bring up the way he’s thinking about Viktor and Jayce would rather quit the whole program and leave the country or something.

The way he’s been thinking about Viktor.

Viktor.

By the time Jayce steps into the shower, the water has gone slightly cold. Which is probably a good thing. Nothing like a cold shower to snap out of something like this.

As Jayce lets the water run over his face and down his body, he expects the feelings to fade. To his dismay, they only get worse.

He closes his eyes and the thoughts come flooding back. Viktor in the lab silhouetted by the morning light, covered in chalk dust. The lilt of his accent and the light amber of his eyes. The small vocal mannerisms, god, almost moans, that Viktor lets out when he’s really concentrating on figuring something out.

He reaches down, trying not to think too much about what’s happening, and gently strokes himself.

One time, just one time. That will get it out of my system. Surely.

But Jayce knows he’s lying to himself.

Chapter Text

“Thought I’d find you here.” Vi leans against the door of the lab, swinging a plastic grocery bag on one of her fingers.

Viktor knows he shouldn’t be in the lab on the weekends, but the ideas were flowing and it felt silly to wait until Monday to write everything down. Although, that was hours ago. Now he’s stuck re-reading the same page in some research study over and over, pondering the implications.

He looks up at Vi and the bag she’s holding.

“Is Jayce making you feed me again?” He chuckles.

She shrugs, “It’s just shitty take-out, relax.” She tosses the bag onto the desk.

The contents spill out and there’s a couple small folded boxes with delightful grease stains.

“Fine.” Viktor sits, examining the boxes and choosing one full of noodles. “But I know this is some sort of peace offering for the conversation that’s about to happen, so spit it out.”

Vi perches herself up on the desk, one leg folded over, and chooses a box full of rice and vegetables. She takes a bite and sighs. Viktor prepares himself for her usual.

“You didn’t come out last night.”

“I know.” Viktor pokes at the noodles with his chopsticks.

“Jayce was upset.” She adds.

“I’m sure he was.”

“Viktor,” Vi continues, “why give up like this? What’s the plan? Are you just gonna spend a whole year pining for this man without telling him how you really feel?”

Viktor sighs dramatically. How many times are they going to have this conversation?

“Vi, I appreciate the support. I do. But as I’ve said a thousand times before, Jayce is straight-”

“-Jayce is not straight-”

“- and ,” Viktor narrows his eyes at her, “he has a girlfriend. Whether he’s straight or- whatever he is. Whatever he has to figure out. It’s not my business.”

“Then it’s mine. Jayce is my friend, and he clearly likes you. Every time we go out you’re all he talks about. He’s like a one-man Viktor fan club, it’s honestly really fucking annoying.” Vi laughs, “And you’re my friend too, Viktor.”

Viktor smiles. As much as he regrets letting his secret spill that night at The Last Drop, he’s thankful it was Vi he spilled to. She just gets it. She keeps a good secret, which is a lot to ask considering her girlfriend is Jayce’s best friend. As annoying as her nagging is, it does feel nice to hear her confirm Viktor’s mental evidence pile.

“Maybe he’s just the kind of guy that is attracted to science. I can certainly relate to that. Maybe it has nothing to do with me- it’s the research. He’s passionate.” Viktor thinks out loud.

Vi shoves a forkful of food into her mouth. “Nah, he wants to bang you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Viktor chokes on a piece of broccoli and Vi cracks up laughing, nudging him on the shoulder.

“So crude.” Viktor wrinkles his nose and chuckles into the take-out container.

“I’m just saying, get it over with and just bend him over the damn desk and-”

“ Okay! Enough, I’m kicking you out for that.” Viktor points his chopsticks for the door and Vi looks pleased with the intense flush of Viktor’s cheeks.

She stands, take-out in hand. “Fine, fine. Continue your pathetic gay pining.”

“ Excuse me? ”

“It’s pathetic Viktor. You know it. This is pointless!” Vi gestures towards him with both arms, exacerbated.

“He’s got a-”

“Girlfriend, I know. So show him there’s another option. Show him you’re an option.”

Viktor takes a deep breath and resigns, leaning back in the chair and stirring the noodles around with contempt.

“And once the girlfriend situation is resolved-,” She adds, a playful grin appearing on her face, “Sex. Hot, lab sex.”

Viktor chucks a piece of chalk at her as she dashes out the door.

Later that week, Viktor finds himself staying in the lab later than usual. He’s onto something with the prosthetic research, but he can’t get over a roadblock that’s bothering him.

In all the studies he’s read on the current models, there are pretty severe side effects. For one, it’s not an instant fix. Most patients have trouble adjusting and don’t regain basic functioning for… a long time. Too long.

The other problem is the long, long list of side effects that have been reported. One of them, phantom limb pain, has shown to become so severe that patients need extensive therapy and additional medical treatment just to manage it. 

So for some people, these models are causing pretty much just as many problems as they’re fixing. That doesn’t sit right with Viktor.

Viktor needs the design to be perfect, and perfection just doesn’t exist in the scientific world. He traces the wild rune on his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt in thought. Chaos, imperfections, all inevitable. He’s looking at a lifetime of advancements in medicine and technology ahead of him but he needs to figure it out now. Viktor doesn’t have a lifetime to wait for this to be perfected.

He stares down at his own leg aching with dull pain.

The treatments aren’t meant to make Viktor better. Viktor will never get better. They’re meant to stop it from getting worse. To slow it down. But eventually it will get worse.

Viktor knows eventually, someday, the leg might start causing more problems than it's worth. When that day comes, he has to be ready. He has to figure this out.

His thoughts are interrupted by Jayce bursting into the room, panting and running towards his desk.

“J-Jayce?” Viktor startles, “What are you-”

“Viktor! Hi, sorry- I just got this idea and- shit, you’re here really late I didn’t think you’d be here.” Jayce says, out of breath.

Viktor, however, feels like all the breath is sucked from his lungs as he looks at the state of the man in front of him.

Jayce is wearing a loose tank top paired with gym shorts, his muscular figure on full display. A sheen of sweat glistens against his body and Viktor swears he can see the individual beads of sweat trailing down the curves on his biceps. With all the studying of anatomy and musculature he’s been doing for his dissertation, he should have replaced the mannequin with Jayce ages ago and just used him for reference.

Jayce barely notices Viktor’s lack of response and continues his explanation. “I was at the gym with Vi and all of a sudden- it clicked!”

So there is a gym on campus. Huh.

“You know how I was joking a few weeks ago about the laser arm?” Jayce asks excitedly, making strides towards Viktor and oh god oh god there’s no way he’s going to be able to keep his composure.

Jayce stops in front of him and slaps his sweaty palms against Viktor’s shoulders. Viktor stifles a whimper. He can practically hear Vi in his ear calling him pathetic.

“What if we could actually use a laser arm? Like a robotic arm capable of assisting in tasks that require fine-tuned laser cutting or- or like surgery or something? With lasers?” Jayce jostles Viktor and Viktor is trying so hard to keep up.

The thing is, Jayce sounds like he’s describing the latest sci-fi film and he looks like he just walked off the set of a raunchy early 2k music video.

“With lasers?” Viktor repeats, raising his eyebrows up at Jayce.

“Okay yeah obviously it sounds wild but- I saw this robotics article and I think this is the direction I can take my research in. We could help people with this, Viktor. Think of the applications of that kind of technology!”

We could help people. Jayce said that, right?

“Eh- yeah, I mean you’ll need to back this all up of course,” Viktor starts, trying to be extremely scientific and professional and not a flustered mess, “And if you’re talking about medical applications that’s a whole other-”

“But that’s why I have you, Viktor.” Jayce beams.

Viktor almost goes completely weak in Jayce’s grasp. But he doesn’t. This is an important, scientific conversation with a colleague that needs his expertise. 

“It’s… eh, possible .” Viktor tilts his head in consideration.

Jayce pulls Viktor in for a hug that engulfs him completely, then, just as Viktor loses all resolve and lifts his arms to return the embrace, Jayce releases him.

“Sorry, I’m still sweaty.” He laughs and stretches his arms above his head. Viktor imagines pinning them there against the wall and shoving his tongue down his throat. He wonders if Jayce has ever been the one to be pinned against a wall. The small, devious part of him inside hopes Jayce would enjoy being in a position like that.

“That’s okay, Jayce.” Viktor says instead. “I need to head home anyways. It’s late.”

Any other day he’d stay up until dawn talking science and solving mathematical quandaries with Jayce, but Viktor’s self control is hanging by a thread already. Better not push it. Viktor can’t be in the same room as Jayce and his bare, sweaty body any longer. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.

“Oh-” Jayce looks disappointed, “Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“See you tomorrow, Jayce.”

///

“Lasers? Like…” Caitlyn makes a gun with her thumb and pointer finger, “... pew pew? ”

“Forget the lasers,” Jayce rolls his eyes and she stifles a giggle, “I’m talking about robotics capable of fine motor functions. That’s got a myriad of real-world applications.”

The dining hall is absolutely packed today. He and Caitlyn waited in line for like, ten minutes just to grab pre-made sandwiches from the deli counter. Ridiculous.

Caitlyn lifts the top piece of bread and carefully peels strings of onions off, flicking them to the side of her plate in disgust. Jayce is on his second half already because he spent all morning in the lab with Viktor, who apparently doesn’t believe in the concept of breakfast. Or maybe he thinks three cups of coffee counts as breakfast, which it definitely doesn’t.

“Sounds cool, could the robot write my prospectus for me?” Caitlyn asks.

“I mean… that would require a significant advancement in artificial intelligence but once it-”

“Okay, okay science man. Point proven. Don’t lose me here.” Caitlyn laughs and holds her hands up in defense.

Jayce chuckles and takes the other sandwich wrapped in cling film, placing it carefully in his backpack on the chair next to him.

“Feeding your lab partner again?” Caitlyn raises her eyebrows.

“I swear he never eats. It’s a problem.” Jayce huffs in feign annoyance.

Viktor spends so much time in the lab Jayce constantly wonders how he has time for like, hobbies. Or sleep. Even more important, breakfast.

“Seems he survived his first year just fine without you doting on him every second of every day.”

Jayce clears his throat. Stay cool.

“Skye took care of him. Since I’m his partner now, it’s kind of my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t collapse at the end of the day.” He shrugs.

“Wasn’t Skye like, his girlfriend or something though?” Caitlyn asks.

Jayce laughs at that, remembering the way Viktor looked at him when he suggested the same thing in their first weeks working together, “No, Viktor’s uh, not into women.”

A flush spread across his chest. Should I have said that? Was that a secret? Shit.

“Oh?” Caitlyn says with a hint of curiosity.

“Sorry, shit. I don’t know if he’s like, out. I probably should’ve asked him. I mean, he told me pretty early on but-”

“Did he, now?” Caitlyn raises her eyebrows and oh fuck me, Jayce thinks.

“Not like that, Cait.” Jayce wills his heart to stop pounding in his chest at the mere thought of what Cait is suggesting, “You know I’m with Mel now, obviously.”

If Cait’s thinking anything else, she doesn’t say it. She just goes back to eating her sandwich, which almost makes Jayce feel worse.

Jayce takes the silence as an opportunity to really think about this. Not that he hasn’t been thinking about it almost constantly, but that’s mostly been in the privacy of his apartment. And his shower. And at night after he turns all the lights out and lays in bed alone.

Jayce shakes his head slightly. Jesus.

He thinks about Mel. She’s kind and smart and very attractive. The sex is good, great even. Jayce brought her home when she visited and he can’t say he didn’t enjoy it. But every time he tries to think about it, the vision blurs and stretches and morphs into a slender man with pale skin and soft brown wisps of hair.

The guilt catches in his throat. He knows that this problem isn’t going to resolve itself anytime soon, and the longer he lets it go on the more likely it is that somebody’s gonna get hurt. Or maybe that line has already been crossed.

“How are things with Mel, anyways?” Caitlyn asks, as if she’s reading his thoughts.

Jayce just sighs, and Caitlyn doesn’t seem surprised by his unenthusiastic response.

“It’s-” He starts, not sure what to say, “I think maybe we moved too fast. It’s hard because we don’t get to see each other often and I’m always so busy.” That’s an acceptable response. Much better than I think I have feelings for my lab partner and I feel like a terrible person.

“You can just say that to her, y’know. It’s only been a few weeks. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Jayce knows Caitlyn’s right, she always is. Even as kids, she was always the level-headed one. The one that brings Jayce back down to earth when his thoughts become wild and unruly.

“Yeah, I’m sure she will.”

Chapter Text

Jayce has started not to ask about the bad days as they become more frequent. He doesn’t have to anymore, now that he knows the tells.

On bad days, Viktor is usually late to the lab. Instead of leaning the cane by the door, he keeps it by his side when he’s not seated at his desk. While he works, he fights off winces and rubs the palm of his hand along his bad leg while he reads and makes notes.

Today is the worst Jayce has ever seen him.

Each time Viktor stands from the desk, he sucks in his breath sharply. Each time, Jayce opens his mouth to speak but just watches closely. He knows bringing it up will only get a quick reply shutting him down. Jayce thinks that Viktor probably already knows that Jayce is concerned anyways.

It’s painful, watching Viktor like this. 

Midway through the day, Jayce hears a tumbling of books hitting the ground and whips his head up to see Viktor leaned over the side of his desk breathing heavily. Jayce can’t take it anymore.

“Viktor.” He says gently, afraid of the biting knee jerk reaction of Viktor’s usual retorts when he’s in pain like this.

A pause. Viktor continues to take deep breaths, in and out, gripping the desk.

“Vik, you need to go home.” Jayce stands, not sure if it’s safe to approach. He wants to.

“Y-yeah.” Viktor exhales shakily.

“I can uh, walk you. Not that you need help- just to…” Jayce rambles as he watches Viktor try to stand up straight and compose himself. His face contorts again.

“I can- I’ll be fine.” Viktor takes a step forward slowly, then his eyes fall on where his cane slid from being propped against the desk. The handle has skidded across the room after it apparently snapped off with the fall. Viktor curses in his first language.

Viktor moves to pick up the pieces of the broken cane, “I’ll just- ah! ” Then he clutches his leg tightly and squeezes his eyes shut.

Now Jayce approaches.

“Viktor-”

“It’s the joint piece, I revised it after my thesis was published and I-,” Viktor huffs, trying to keep his breathing steady, “I never- I have a spare part at my place I’ll just-”

Jayce grabs the hand that’s reaching for the cane, “Listen, Viktor. I know you hate asking for help. I know you’re strong, but you hate when people tell you that you are. I know this is just a bad day. Please just let me walk you home.” Jayce pleads, and Viktor won’t look him in the eye. “I know you’re capable of doing it yourself, but you don’t have to.”

Viktor takes another deep breath. And another.

“Okay.” He nods.

Jayce exhales, relieved, “Okay, yeah. Okay. Let me grab everything.”

Jayce slings Viktor’s messenger bag over his broad shoulders and collects the pieces of the cane. He tucks the broken handle carefully into the bag and then turns back to his lab partner.

“Can I-?” Jayce reaches out to touch Viktor, and isn’t really sure what he’s supposed to do in this situation. Viktor, even in the state he’s in, picks up on it.

“Um, steady my hip here.” Viktor takes Jayce’s hand and wraps it around the small of his back.

Jayce’s hair stands on end when he’s reminded of his shower earlier this week.

Really not the time, he scolds himself.

“Then just-” Viktor presses against Jayce’s hand on his hip and leans into Jayce’s side, reaching up to steady himself on Jayce’s shoulder.

Jayce feels warm and fuzzy as he notices how perfectly Viktor fits there.

“Like that?” Jayce takes a step with him, and Viktor nods.

“Okay, let’s go then. One step at a time.”

When they finally reach Viktor’s apartment (which honestly isn’t that far even without the trolley running), Jayce can tell Viktor is exhausted.

In the elevator, as Viktor clung to Jayce for stability, he could feel Viktor’s small frame practically trembling.

Now Viktor fumbles with his keys and his hands really are shaking. Instead of reaching out to do it for him, in fear of being swatted away, Jayce patiently waits with his hand still holding Viktor’s hip. If there’s anything Viktor hates more than meetings that could’ve been an email, it’s when people do things for him. It’s infuriating.

The door swings open to reveal an apartment in utter disarray. Jayce sees Viktor’s side of the lab every day, covered in notes and diagrams and coffee stains, but this place looks like an actual bomb went off inside. He’s surprised the walls are intact.

“Bedroom’s on the right.” Viktor groans, breathing labored.

Jayce tries to ignore the fact that the statement could imply so many other things in a different scenario, and leads Viktor to the bedroom door.

The bed in the middle of the room remains unmade with the fitted sheet pulled off one corner, duvet bunched up and twisted in the middle. Jayce imagines Viktor tossing and turning in those sheets at night, in pain, and frowns.

There’s a chair in the corner with a pile of forgotten clothes flung on it. Jayce recognizes a maroon cardigan from last week when a cold snap came through.

It’s a mess but it’s overwhelmingly Viktor in a way Jayce could never describe to anyone else.

It’s then that he notices Viktor’s breathing has become shallow and rapid, and it breaks him from his thoughts instantly.

“Viktor- are you- what do you need?” Jayce turns to face him, this time holding Viktor at his hips with both of his hands.

“I need- Fuck, I need- it off- help please.” Viktor is practically hyperventilating and his hands claw at his leg like there’s an itch there he can’t scratch.

“Off? Oh- yeah okay hold on-” Jayce nods and doesn’t hesitate to lift Viktor onto the bed and start working at the straps of his leg brace.

Jayce is in his element. He’s been studying the delicate mechanisms of Viktor’s brace since the day they met. Not in a creepy way, it’s just that it’s so well crafted and Viktor put so much thought into it through his thesis work and Jayce loves mentally taking things apart and putting them back together until he understands it completely.

Also, as of recent, he’s been mentally practicing removing this contraption under very different circumstances.

When he finally finishes the last strap and gently removes the brace, he looks up to the sight of Viktor frantically unbuttoning his shirt.

Jayce’s blood turns ice cold in his veins as his heart stops completely. He hears a flatline from one of those medical dramas ring in his head.

Then he remembers that first day. There’s a back brace under my shirt too. Viktor had said. Strap around the shoulder.

Right.

Jayce jumps back into action and helps Viktor finish the buttons, revealing what looks like a metal and leather corset and- fuck, more tattoos.

Just like he pictured, the wild rune tattoo on his upper arms extends up to his shoulder. The mesmerizing webbing reaches across one side of his chest like it’s clinging to his skin. The shape of it is so amorphous as if it could shift and move gracefully before Jayce’s eyes.

And it’s beautiful.

Viktor is beautiful.

There’s a pain in his heart like a blade piercing through it as his eyes meet Viktor’s and he sees the pain. The pain Viktor carefully conceals is finally completely unmasked and exposed in its entirety, and Jayce wants so badly to somehow absorb it all up and take it away. He wants that desperately.

Viktor turns to the buckles on the side when suddenly, as if struck by lightning, his body jerks violently and his hands grab the knee of his bad leg, clutching it so hard Jayce swears his nails are going to rip through the fabric of his pants.

“Ah-! Fuck, fuck! ” Viktor yelps and Jayce sees tears forming in his eyes.

“Hold on- Viktor what-”

“Get it off, now! ” Viktor yelps, tears threatening to spill over, “Jayce, please! ”

Now Jayce’s hands are trembling as he tries his best to reverse-engineer this crucial piece holding Viktor together because Viktor is breaking before his eyes and it’s almost too much to bear.

It’s trickier, because Jayce has had significantly less time to study it, but eventually he feels Viktor's body relax at the release of the shoulder strap and it comes off easily.

Viktor is sobbing now, still holding his leg and taking rapid, trembling breaths.

“M-medicine-” Viktor whimpers, “Bathroom c-c-counter-”

Jayce quickly runs to the door across the room he assumes is the bathroom and is met with- holy shit- there’s like twenty little orange containers strewn over the bathroom counter.

Which one, which one, which one, Jayce’s heart pounds in his chest. He can hear the blood pulsing in his ears and thrumming through his whole body.

Luckily, most of them are empty, as it seems Viktor has a habit of letting them build up without discarding them. He finds six with actual pills inside. Quickly, Jayce scoops them all up.

When he returns and dumps the pill bottles on the bed, Viktor is still bent over gripping his knee like it might fall apart if he lets go.

“I didn’t know which…” Jayce trails off as Viktor glances at the pile and grabs one instantly, popping it open and swallowing two of the pills dry.

“Water?” Jayce asks.

Viktor just breaks out sobbing again, and Jayce’s heart shatters into a million pieces. He feels the pieces, like shards of glass, rake against every inch of his skin. And with that, his brain just shuts off that nervous, overthinking voice in the back of his mind and he dives into the abyss.

Jayce lays on the bed and pulls Viktor down with him, dragging him to lay against his body. He wraps his arms around Viktor and presses him to his chest. Viktor doesn’t protest, he just clings to Jayce and tucks his face into Jayce’s shoulder.

They lay like that, with Viktor crying silently and Jayce just holding him, as time stops and the world ceases to turn on its axis. The dance of the moon around the earth and the earth around the sun slows to a halt and they just hang in the balance of the vast and starry universe. 

Jayce isn’t even thinking. The anxiety and the embarrassed warmth that usually come with being close to this man fade away like a forgotten memory. He just holds Viktor because it’s all he can do. He holds Viktor and it feels right. It’s something beyond science, beyond understanding. It’s the chaos, the perfect imperfection of the wild rune stretching out and connecting Jayce and Viktor in a string of fate that was maybe always there.

At some point, either five minutes or five hours later, Viktor stops trembling and his breathing evens out. The tears dry and the fists that were clinging to Jayce’s hoodie relax ever-so-slightly.

Jayce doesn’t dare move.

Viktor’s breath comes steady now, and slows and slows until all the tension from his body is drawn out and he’s lying peacefully against Jayce.

“Vik?” Jayce whispers.

Viktor’s steady breaths just continue in the silence.

Jayce lets Viktor sleep against him until his arm beneath him goes numb. Even then, he waits a few extra minutes to savor the feeling of them tangled together.

Carefully, he slips out of Viktor’s grasp without waking him. He returns the discarded pill bottles to the bathroom and stacks them neatly. He takes the equipment of Viktor’s braces and sets them aside the dresser carefully. For a moment, he considers tucking Viktor into the bedsheets but then decides no, that’s probably a bit much.

It just feels intimate being in this space, after witnessing such a raw moment. It’s not like he’s here uninvited, but Viktor’s asleep on the bed and Jayce is just standing in the bedroom like an idiot. He’s not sure if he should stay. He wants to.

It’s dark now, and Jayce feels a similar exhaustion coming over him from the adrenaline of the afternoon. 

So Jayce lands on ordering food for Viktor before he leaves. As he waits for the delivery to arrive, he takes out the pieces of Viktor’s broken cane and studies them curiously before setting them on top of the piles of books on the coffee table.

When the plastic bags are dropped off by the door, Jayce leaves them on the counter and takes one last look at the apartment while standing in the doorway. The chaos of it all. And it’s beautiful.

Maybe Jayce likes Viktor. Maybe the attraction he feels is.. Something more. Something much more complicated than Jayce has time to define now. But it doesn’t feel wrong. It feels so, so right.

As Jayce begins the long walk across campus to his own bed, the moon and the earth and the sun continue in their dance once again. Time, it seems, goes on as it always does. 

Chapter Text

They don’t talk about the bad day.

In fact, a week goes by and Viktor swears that the memory of Jayce in his bedroom was some sort of pain-induced hallucination. Jayce in his bedroom, holding Viktor against his chest in the tangle of his unmade bed. Holding Viktor. Holding Viktor.

He remembers sleeping through the afternoon and waking up at some ungodly hour in the early morning, still pitch dark out. His braces were carefully moved from where they had been discarded in the middle of the floor, and his meds were stacked neatly by the sink. When he finally found the strength to make it to the kitchen, there was food too. 

In a way, Viktor is thankful. He’s thankful Jayce doesn’t want to talk about it. Because what is there to talk about?

Are you okay? Jayce would say.

And how is Viktor supposed to answer that?

No, I’m not okay. The only time I’ve ever felt okay was in your arms.

Maybe Jayce would ask about the pain, if it’s better. How Viktor feels.

I’m always in pain, Jayce. Viktor would snap back and watch Jayce’s face fall into those wide, concerned eyes.

God, the way Jayce looked at him that night.

No, it’s better. It’s better this way. 

So they continue their work. They fall easily back into their silent rhythm of coffee and notes and coffee and complaining about access to databases. Jayce begs him to put a sheet over the mannequin because it’s “freaking him out”. Viktor puts sunglasses on it the next day.

At the end of the week, Viktor hears the jarring ping! of his email notification.

“Huh,” He comments out loud, opening the email and scanning his eyes over it.

“What? Is it that grumpy guy from the library pestering you again?” Jayce laughs, as if he doesn’t get the same emails about their overdue books practically every day.

“No..” Viktor ponders, drumming his fingers against the desk, “It’s Heimer. Wants to see me.”

Jayce looks up, curious, “Professor Heimerdinger? Huh, he’s usually so hands-off.”

Viktor shrugs. He usually is. Jayce and Viktor both have him as their engineering advisor and he rarely ever checks in. As long as they submit their progress reports.

Did he do that this month? No, he definitely did. The professor had emailed it back with lots of comments and recommended adjustments. Annoyingly.

“Well,” Viktor stands with a dramatic groan, “Across campus I go, then.”

Jayce frowns and glances down at Viktor's leg as he tucks his cane under his shoulder. Viktor glares at him as if to say don’t you dare. Jayce doesn’t say anything.

Luckily, the trolley was up and running on Viktor’s approach, so the commute isn’t too bad.

It’s actually quite beautiful. The trees on campus are now completely painted in shades of orange. It’s cold enough outside to need some extra layers, but it’s not freezing. There’s even a couple students out enjoying the last days of nice weather before the walks to the library become bitter and miserable.

Heimerdinger’s office is in an older building on campus. Piltover is a well-groomed campus but it’s a bit of a patchwork job. The architecture of the buildings don’t match between the worn brick of the historic parts and the sleek glass and marble of the newly-renovated facilities.

Viktor walks to the end of the hall on the ground floor and taps on the somewhat familiar office door with his cane.

“Come in, come in!” shouts a shrill voice from inside.

Viktor pushes it open and finds the stout man organizing a small shelf of books. His office is actually quite clean, especially in comparison to the state of Jayce and Viktor’s lab space.

“There you are, young man! Come, sit, I have something exciting to share with you.” He waves Viktor along as he shuffles over to his desk.

Viktor feels bad because Heimerdinger is a brilliant man, but he’s quite funny. The sight of him and his thick, elaborate mustache always just looks so out of place amongst the other professors, and even the students. Viktor tries his best to hide his chuckle as he settles in the seat across the desk.

“Now, first off, excellent work getting that consultant on board for your project! It’s really coming along.” Heimerdinger compliments, and Viktor wants to roll his eyes (but he doesn’t, he’s professional, of course).

The man is always harping on Viktor to bring on so many consultants. As if Viktor couldn’t do this entire project himself and then some. It’s a lot of extra paperwork and meetings and having to actually listen to people and pretend he cares about their opinions.

“Thank you, sir.” Viktor nods. Better to just get this over with.

“In fact, I have an opportunity for you. The Distinguished Innovator’s Competition is being held not far from here at the end of the month.”

Viktor’s head spins into a whirlwind. End of the month? Why didn’t he tell Viktor about this at the beginning of the semester? He figures he can whip up some kind of basic prototype in that time but he’s going to have to really push it if he wants to-

“I want you to attend. I’m inviting some of our best students to go for the weekend and get ideas. Be inspired!” Heimerdinger points his finger up in the air like a little cartoon character. Funny man.

“You… don’t want me to compete?” Viktor clarifies, raising one eyebrow.

“No, my dear boy, you’re far from finished! I want you to observe. To get involved in the wider scientific community.”

Now Viktor is just insulted. Sure, a month is a tight deadline, but for an opportunity like this? He could totally do it. Fuck sleep.

“But I- my project-” He sputters.

“Your project,” Heimerdinger holds his hands up, probably sensing Viktor’s frantic disappointment, “Needs work. And time.”

Viktor just blinks.

Heimerdinger sighs.

“And,” He adds, “if you have a working prototype at the end of the year. I will allow you to submit it for the competition next year.”

Viktor wants to argue, he really wants to. But he guesses a little more time to refine things wouldn’t hurt. He hasn’t even started working on a physical prototype yet.

So instead, he sits up straight and clears his throat.

“I’d be honored sir.”

“Wonderful! Now that that’s settled, How are things with Jayce?” Heimerdinger asks, shuffling some papers on his desk.

“ J-Jayce? ” Viktor coughs and the professional demeanor he corrected only a second ago goes out the window.

“Yes, your lab partner. How are the two of you getting along?”

Right. Lab partner. Academics. Professional, scientific collaboration.

“Fine, I guess.” Is all Viktor can come up with.

In his head though, his response is more like oh I don’t know, Professor, he’s stupid hot and drives me crazy but he has a girlfriend and sends the most mixed messages out of any guy I’ve ever taken interest in but I guess he’s smart and a good lab partner I’d just rather him be more than that.

“I put you two together for a reason, you know.” Heimerdinger explains.

“A reason?” Viktor asks.

“Yes, you’re both brilliant young men. But Jayce needs guidance, his ideas are everywhere. He needs the focus that you possess.”

No shit, Jayce needs guidance.

Heimerdinger continues though, unable to read Viktor’s thoughts, “And you, you need to be reigned in. Your ideas are big. I hope he can act as a voice of reason for you.”

Viktor is so, so done with this conversation. But Heimerdinger is looking at him expectedly.

“Yes, sir. He’s perfectly capable.” Viktor sighs.

The professor must realize Viktor’s patience has run short, because after that he stands.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you from your endeavors. The future of science awaits! Go on now. I’ll send you the details for the competition later today.”

“Thank you, professor.” Viktor nods and allows himself to be walked to the door.

Just as he came, Viktor makes his way to the trolley station up the cobblestone path. The sun has begun to set and it already feels much colder out than it did on his journey under an hour ago. He pulls the sleeves of his sweater down to cover his knuckles from the wind.

When he reaches the station, he’s met with a sign hanging on the route map.

Out of service.

“What did Heimer want?” Jayce asks the second Viktor walks through the door.

Viktor’s stupid heart jumps because Jayce would usually be gone by now. He must’ve waited for Viktor to get back. Which is actually quite sweet.

“He kicked me out of the program.” Viktor says flatly, dropping his bag on the ground.

“ What? ” Jayce gasps.

Viktor looks back at him with a shit-eating grin.

“I’m kidding, Jayce.”

Jayce exhales and laughs nervously, “Jesus, Vik. Don’t do that.”

Viktor laughs. Jayce, hilariously, takes Viktor at his word every time and never learns his lesson. It’s so easy to fuck with him.

“He wants me to attend some innovator’s thing. As a spectator, which is a little annoying, but I guess it will be nice to get away for a bit.” Viktor muses. He’s still just a little bitter he won’t be competing. Because he would totally win.

Viktor might just be a little competitive.

He grins smugly as he remembers when a kid beat him in his high school science fair sophomore year. His parents definitely did his whole conclusion essay for him, Viktor is still convinced. Viktor might have tripped the kid with his cane at the bus stop the week after.

“That’s cool! So you’ll be gone? From the lab?” Jayce asks, and Viktor swears there’s a hint of disappointment in his voice. Best not to read too much into that.

“Just for the weekend,” Viktor shrugs, “It’s at the end of the month. You have time to prepare for a whole weekend without my good company.”

Jayce might be blushing. Is he blushing? 

It’s fucking exhausting, having to think about this man constantly. If he could shut it out, he would, but he just can’t. It creeps up on him. He reads into every facial quirk, every change in tone in Jayce’s voice, every little mannerism. 

At this point he can’t even call himself an unbiased observer. His data is so skewed.

“Well uh,” Jayce scratches the back of his head and god, his arm , “speaking of good company, Vi and Cait are going to some party at Kirammen this weekend. You can uh, come if you want.”

Certainly not. No, no way. Party means alcohol and alcohol means flirting, which Viktor absolutely cannot handle any more of. And Kirammen means Mel.

Viktor gets the sudden image of what Jayce and Mel might do in the same room under the influence of alcohol and feels nauseous.

He opens his mouth to throw one of his usual excuses out, but Vi’s voice creeps up into the corner of his mind.

Show him you’re an option.

It’s insane. The method of this potential experiment has far too many variables. What is Viktor going to do, make moves on Jayce in front of his girlfriend? That’s so wrong.

Show him you’re an option.

God dammit.

“Sure, why not?”

Chapter Text

Viktor stands in front of the bathroom mirror and stares at himself.

Thirty minutes, thirty minutes to pick a fucking outfit, and this one is no good either. The cardigan absolutely swallows him and the shirt is wrinkled beyond saving.

He shoves both off and chucks them into the bedroom.

At least the bottom half was easy. Viktor can’t imagine how much longer this would be taking if he had to deal with taking the leg brace on and off. He had received the text from Vi over an hour ago: pregame at my place, wear the skinnies ;)

They do hug his hips in a way Viktor would like to think is somewhat complimentary. It’s just that there’s only one person he cares about impressing, and he’s not even sure if that person can be impressed by, well, a man. He feels like he’s in high school again crushing on some closeted jock. It’s all very childish.

Viktor and Jayce are Phd students, for christ’s sake. They are making significant contributions to the world of science to better humanity. One would think they could figure out their feelings in a respectable way.

But here Viktor is in front of his mirror staring at himself in skinny jeans and his back brace, about to have a panic attack over what shirt to wear to a house party. Good god.

His phone vibrates on the bathroom counter, next to the neatly stacked medications in the same place Jayce had put them last week.

Just throwing it out there, I’m a professional when it comes to cockblocking. If you need help with the girlfriend situation.

Viktor reads the text from Vi and chuckles to himself at the image of Vi trying her best to come between Jayce and Mel all night. 

Are you suggesting I would want to become a homewrecker? Viktor types out in reply.

There’s that nasty guilt twisting in his stomach again. Viktor doesn’t know Mel, at least not very well, but he certainly doesn’t wish ill on the poor woman. She seems nice enough. Jayce seems to like her, and he seems happy. Isn’t that all Viktor wants? For Jayce to be happy?

He remembers waking up this morning in a cold sweat after another dream of his lab partner pressing him against his desk. The vision, fuzzy around the edges, of Jayce, shirtless, hair dripping with sweat and lips mere inches from Viktor’s. Skin on skin. Viktor breathing into the crook of Jayce’s neck. The heat, the friction, the desperate wanting of it all.

Viktor moans aloud and leans forward to rest his elbows on the sink, head in hands. He threads his fingers through his hair and catches his breath. 

No, maybe Jayce’s happiness is not all he wants. In fact, Viktor is a selfish, selfish man.

Vi’s reply slides up, Dude, I’m trying to help you get laid.

That certainly doesn’t help Viktor control his thoughts. He really, really doesn’t know what the plan is here. What does “show him you’re an option” even mean? Flirt with him? Confess his feelings?

He’s in a box here. Viktor may want to do a lot more than flirt, but he’s above kissing a taken man. As long as Mel’s in the picture, Viktor has to respect the choices Jayce has made. As difficult as that is to accept, he knows it’s true.

After another twenty minutes (god he spent almost an hour on his outfit), he stands in the bathroom again, this time in an open button down and with a low-cut shirt underneath. It’s enough to accentuate his neck and collarbones, which Viktor thinks are one of his more attractive features. A few lines of his shoulder tattoo are just barely reaching out from the collar of the shirt.

A quick fix of his hair, parting all the wild strands in the right direction, and he’s as ready as he’s going to be. 

“Okay,” he says to himself in the mirror, sighing, “I’m a filthy homewrecker.”

///

The ride to Kirammen is just long enough to be too long. Jayce doesn’t know how he gets through it, shoved in the backseat of Vi’s dingy pickup truck with Viktor. 

Viktor, usually the picture of cool and confident, is sitting awkwardly with his cane between his knees, fiddling with the replacement joint from last week. He’s completely fixated on it, as if to distract himself from the blaring music and the occasional swerve of the vehicle.

“-like can you believe that? I swear she acts like she doesn’t know I can beat the shit out of her if I want to!” Vi yells over the music.

Jayce runs his finger over where the leather on the back of the driver’s seat had been carved into, reading Jinx was here.

Caitlyn leans backwards to look at it and busts up laughing, “She seriously did that?”

“Yeah, the little shit is asking for it! I swear!” Vi hits the steering wheel and cranks the music up even louder.

Viktor huffs a forced laugh and doesn’t look up from where he’s fixated on the cane. He smells like cologne and dry shampoo and weed. Jayce wants to lean across the middle seat and taste it.

It’s funny how those thoughts have become so frequent it doesn’t even surprise him anymore.

After almost an hour, they finally pass the shining Kirammen Institute sign and the breath Jayce feels like he’s been holding the whole time is exhaled. Fucking finally.

Vi’s parking job is probably more lopsided than publicly acceptable, but Jayce leaps from the inside of it before she can even move to correct it. He breathes in the outside air that smells like the faint decay of leaves and clears his lungs of the intoxicating smell of Viktor that’s been swirling around inside him for far too long. 

“Alright, remember,” Vi claps and hops out the truck, “I’m DD tonight. You leave with me. I don’t care how late- in the morning you’re gonna fucking regret it once you see the Uber charge to get all the way back to Piltover. Got it?”

Cait giggles, tipsy already, and leans on her, “”Of course babe, I’d never leave you.”

Vi smiles softly at her, then glances back at Jayce and Viktor, expression hardening.

“You-” she points right at Jayce, “are not my responsibility if you go home with your girlfriend.”

Jayce blushes fiercely, “Uh- I don’t think that’s-”

“Shut up. Let’s go.” She rolls her eyes and snakes her hand across Caitlyn’s waist, escorting her inside.

The party is somehow louder than the screaming nonsense Vi was blasting from her stereo, but it’s not a total surprise to Jayce. He’s been to his fair share of house parties, during both of his previous degree programs, but it is funny to picture the prestigious Kirammen Institute having students this untamed.

It’s no different than the parties Jayce has been to before. There’s a pong table with a small crowd gathered around, erupting into cheers with every successful shot. The place is absolutely littered with red solo cups and discarded jackets and shoes. Now that he thinks about it, the temperature difference between here and outside is drastic, and he finds himself beginning to sweat already in his jacket.

A woman stumbles out of the bathroom in a cloud of smoke, coughing. Jayce glances inside to see three other students lounging under a smoke detector that’s hanging from the ceiling by a few wires, certainly tampered with for this very purpose.

Jayce glances to Viktor, expecting to see the nervousness from the car ride heightened, but he seems… relaxed. He’s surveying the room casually and drumming his fingers against his thigh to the beat of the music.

“You okay?” Jayce asks, voice almost drowned out by the noise, but Viktor hears and turns to him, smiling smugly.

“Jayce, I’ve been to parties before. I can handle myself.” He nudges Jayce with his shoulder and turns confidently to follow Cait and Vi towards the kitchen.

“Right, right.” Jayce mutters to himself.

Jayce looks back around the room and spots a familiar figure that’s already spotted him.

Mel is approaching him from across the room, with her braids let down into long strands that sway with every motion of her hips. Only a couple months ago, Jayce would’ve drooled at the sight of her like this, illuminated by colored lights that glint on his jewelry and makeup. That feeling, the one of wanting her, of yearning just to be touched by her delicate hands, is a wisp of a memory now.

“Jayce.” She smiles once she’s closed the distance.

“Mel.” He breathes, still struck by the absence of his own emotions.

“Can’t believe you came all the way out here. It’s a trek.”

“Well uh- I mean you came out to Piltover so it’s only returning the favor.” Jayce shrugs. Does that sound cold? Maybe he could’ve said something more enthusiastic. She is his girlfriend after all.

She just smiles softly again, and there’s something else behind her eyes. Something that wasn’t there in their previous encounters. “I was actually hoping you’d come. I wanted to-”

“Jayce!” Vi practically runs into him, thrusting a cup into his chest that sloshes liquid onto the floor.

“Vi- shit-” He barely side-steps the splash, breaking his eye contact with Mel.

“Oops, sorry man. Drink that- it’s good.” She nods, then turns to Mel, “Hey! This place rocks!”

Mel looks torn for a moment, looking between Jayce and Vi, then softens once again. “Well it’s not my place, but they pretty much have all the Kirammen parties here. Old frat house or something.”

“Cool- anyways, Jayce, you better not hide away all night after I drove you here. Come dance, have fun .” Vi tugs on his arm.

Jayce looks to Mel and she holds up a hand, “Enjoy yourself, don’t worry- I’ll catch up with you. Give me a few minutes.”

“Come on, Talis!” Vi yanks again, and this time he allows himself to be pulled into the next room.

They dance for what feels like hours. Song after song, drink after drink. Not all the music is Jayce’s taste but the beat is prominent enough to move to, and after his third beer he doesn’t really care anymore.

It’s the most fun Jayce has had in a long time. The four of them spend the evening embarrassingly singing along to songs they don’t know by making up the most ridiculous lyrics possible. 

Vi and Caitlyn disappear eventually, and Jayce is grateful because he wasn’t sure he wanted to witness more of what his best friend was getting up to on the dance floor with her girlfriend. They’re close but… not that close.

So Viktor and Jayce dance. And dance. And Jayce has no idea how much time passes.

The way Viktor dances should be awkward, but his confidence masks the shuffle-swaying as his body moves with everyone else around him. Anyone else would look out of place but it’s Viktor and it’s hot . He occasionally pushes his sweaty hair from his forehead and closes his eyes in a way that Jayce finds almost erotic. When he sips his drink, Jayce watches Viktor’s mouth and wants nothing else than to taste the alcohol and the sweat and press their bodies together.

He notices, after a while, how close together they have to stand amongst all the people. It’s the closest Jayce has ever been to Viktor- besides the night they don’t talk about. He almost can’t take it- the sensory overload of the thick haze around them and the heat and the noise. 

Jayce desperately wants to know this Viktor. This version of the man he knows that likes to dance and wears t-shirts and lets his hair fall over his face without a care in the world. He gets the feeling that as well as he thinks he knows his partner, there’s so much more there to undercover. It’s enticing.

And then Mel’s there- how long has she been there? She’s leaning in, and Jayce thinks she’s about to kiss him (his stomach flips in instant rejection) when she whispers in his ear, “I need to talk to you.”

It echoes in his head before he quite processes it. Why is Mel here? Didn’t they already talk?

“Jayce. ” She hisses, and it snaps him out of the brain fog.

Viktor’s dancing slows, and he’s watching the two of them with wide eyes.

It takes Jayce a while to remember how to speak again, but he finally musters, “Okay.”

He watches Viktor’s grip tighten on his cane and something is wrong. Everything is spinning.

Mel nods, motioning Jayce to follow, and Jayce feels like his body is lagging.

When he takes the first step to follow her, Jayce feels like something is ripping and tearing. Something intangible stretches and strains with the distance, and as he looks back at Viktor, he can tell he’s not just imagining it. Viktor stands completely still, eyes fixed on Jayce with an utterly broken expression.

With a snap of invisible thread, Jayce looks forward again and continues to where Mel waits in the corner of the room.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all night, Jayce.” Mel says sternly, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Jayce frowns, confused. He doesn’t remember her even being there.

He remembers the dancing, the music. He remembers Vi and Caitlyn pressed against each other; Vi tugging at Cait’s bottom lip between her teeth. He remembers Viktor, swaying and laughing and commenting on the shitty booze.

Was Mel there? Was he really that out of it?

“I’m sorry Mel, I-”

“I think we should break up.” She interrupts.

What?

Wait, what?

Jayce blinks in surprise. He imagined this conversation going very differently.

“I’m sorry- you what?” Jayce coughs out.

She worries her bottom lip with her teeth and stands there awkwardly for a moment.

“I just,” She seems to be having difficulty finding the words, “Jayce, you know I like you but I just don’t think- maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I shouldn’t have put all that pressure on you when I came to see you I just, I really liked you, y’know?”

He feels the words hitting him but they’re not absorbing, not at all. He can’t think, he can’t breathe.

“And the truth is, there’s plenty of people here that are interested and I keep turning them down because of you. But you- you’re different. I don’t know if it’s school or-” She sighs and stops there, and Jayce has never seen her like this before.

“I think…” Jayce starts, nausea hitting him like a truck, “...you’re right.” He nods.

Mel just looks at him for what feels like an eternity, and there’s a small glimmer in her expression screaming give me a reason to stay, but Jayce can’t. He can’t think of any reasons. He can’t think at all.

Her hopeful eyebrows fall back into her usual soft expression as she realizes the moment has come and gone. “I’m sorry, Jayce.” She touches his shoulder gently and then she’s gone. Just like that.

Jayce reels, feeling unsteady on his feet like he’s standing on a sailboat in a storm. That’s it? That’s all? He can’t remember the last time he was broken up with. Even with the conflicting feelings on the matter, it feels… awful.

Then he thinks about Viktor.

Looking up, his eyes search fervently for his lab partner amongst the dancing crowd across the room but there’s an empty spot where Viktor had been standing. He thinks about that look Viktor gave him as Mel coaxed him away and an invisible knife twists painfully in his chest.

The wave of nausea comes harder this time, enough to make Jayce finally move from his spot and stumble to the smoke-filled bathroom, promptly vomiting into the sink.

One time in undergrad he combined too many liquors and ended up in a similar position, but this time he thinks the amount of drinks he’s consumed during the evening isn’t the main contributor. It’s the overwhelming feeling of hurting someone and being hurt back but in the wrong way. The guilt, the relief, the pain. It’s all too much.

He’s faced with the idea that whatever he feels for Viktor, if it’s not reciprocated, he’s truly alone now. Maybe he’s messed up everything entirely beyond repair.

“Jayce?” Cait asks, appearing in the doorway and immediately looking concerned through her alcohol-induced haze.

When he doesn’t respond, he feels her lead him back out into the hallway and into the kitchen.

It must take time, cleaning him up, but time feels… fuzzy. He doesn’t know how he gets from one place to the other. All the same, Cait washes his face, makes him drink water, and finds a place for them to sit.

He looks down and he’s holding a pack of crackers.

“Eat, you should have something in your stomach.” Caitlyn explains.

“Where’s Viktor?” Jayce asks, still staring at the crackers.

“I told you already, I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Did Jayce already ask that?

“It’s okay, I told Vi we should head back soon so she’ll round him up, I’m sure.” She reaches over and tucks some stray hairs behind Jayce’s ear.

Jayce and Cait spend a lot of time in Vi’s car waiting for her to return. She said she would just be a second, but it seems Viktor is harder to find than expected. When Vi finally shoves him into the backseat next to Jayce, he’s met with that same intoxicating smell and oh god this drive is going to be so fucking long.

“Good god you guys, you better buy me dinner for the next month.” Vi mumbles as the truck hums to life.

“You-” She turns and points to Viktor, “-are more pathetic than I thought.”

“And you- ” She turns to Jayce, “-are an idiot. Get your shit together.”

“ Vi. ” Caitlyn scolds quickly.

“Babe, I love you, but you don’t know the half of it.” Vi grumbles, finally pulling out of the parking space.

With that, the punk music begins blaring once again and they begin the long drive home.

Chapter Text

Viktor wakes up with a nasty hangover the next morning.

He didn’t even drink that much. Maybe it was all the standing and dancing that’s now sending aching waves all over his body. That tends to catch up with him.

Unfortunately, that means he’s able to remember pretty much everything from last night.

They pregamed at Vi’s place. Jayce showed up in a zip-up hoodie, which was only slightly mortifying considering the amount of time it took Viktor to decide what to wear. A little to drink, a little to smoke, and they were off.

He remembers the drive, the party, the dancing, the music. The girl that made him a drink in the kitchen that was definitely flirting with him. The bad music, Caitlyn’s hysterical off-key singing. 

Most of all he remembers Jayce, in the dim light, face flushed, without a care in the world. The man is, unfortunately, absolutely gorgeous. They had danced until Viktor forgot about everything else in the world except Jayce’s body being so close to his that he almost felt the electricity jump between them with flying sparks. It was like magic- no- science . A buildup of potential energy, of chemistry. Something untapped and undiscovered, an equation with a last missing variable.

Then he remembers the spark doused by the appearance of Mel, whispering in Jayce’s ear and pulling him away. How Jayce leaned into her touch. Something desperate in her eyes, unspoken.

When they had found their own corner of the room shadowed by the dark, Viktor couldn’t bear to witness whatever was next. Even now, laying in his own bed, his imagination paints the picture of Jayce’s hands crawling up her back as they entangle into some lustful knot.

It was clear really, in that moment. Viktor didn’t stand a chance. 

It’s nobody’s fault, he figures. It was never an option. He fooled himself into thinking somehow it could be, that there was something there. With a rational mind, he could’ve taken the facts at face value. Jayce has a girlfriend.

“Jayce has a girlfriend.” He whispers up to his ceiling.

It’s time to move on, he thinks, but that part he can’t bear to speak aloud yet.

The night didn’t end there did it?

Viktor groans, rolling over to bury his face in the pillow.

No, it didn't.

He had practically run from the dance floor to the kitchen to splash water on his face. Despite the amount of drinking he had been doing throughout the night, it was nothing that strong, and he had felt painfully sober.

Someone was still making drinks on the kitchen island, but the girl from before had all but disappeared. This was a man, the tall-dark-handsome type. He had broad shoulders, built not unlike his lab partner he had been dancing with moments ago. It was enough.

Viktor sits up in the bed and brings his hand to his lips as the sense memory overwhelms him. Quickly, he swings his legs from the bed and stumbles cane-less to the bathroom to confirm it.

Yes, there it is: two purple blotches blooming on his skin. Viktor traces the one below his ear, then the one lower down on the side of his neck. 

It had been nice. Viktor had been legitimately pissed when Vi arrived and practically yanked him away. Probably for the best though, considering kissing always makes people feel entitled to other things that Viktor is less than inclined to partake in on a first meeting. 

He’ll never admit it, but when he closed his eyes and felt the warmth of the man’s lips, he had pictured Jayce.

///

Jayce’s head is spinning on his walk to the lab on Monday morning.

The weekend had given him time to think about a lot of things. Things he hadn’t allowed himself to think with Mel in the picture. Her absence gave way to clarity, which gave way to another layer of confusion. It’s been tricky to sift through, but Jayce feels like he’s made progress.

Jayce has feelings for Viktor that surpass what most would consider platonic. That seems factual enough. The question is, what are those feelings?

Jayce cares about Viktor. He wants to make Viktor laugh and hear about his research and spend his late nights in the lab in Viktor’s company. He wants to be there when Viktor’s in pain, and he wishes Viktor wouldn’t hide so much of that from him.

But there’s more: Jayce feels an undeniable physical attraction for Viktor. There’s plenty of tells, the sweating, the racing heart, the shiver up his spine, that indicate so. Even at the thought that any moment Viktor could be in the lab right now waiting for him sets him on edge in the current moment. 

Lastly, and most surprisingly, Jayce might be falling for Viktor. There’s something, deep down, beyond the longing to be in his presence or the lust that turns his body into a livewire, that’s… more. If he thinks about it too much, the emotions begin to flood his brain and he has to, has to shut it down before it overtakes him.

When he opens the door to the lab, the thoughts evaporate with a hiss as he’s met with the sight of the room in complete disarray.

Papers are littered everywhere, as if someone had shoved them all off the desk hastily and sent them flying through the room. There’s an open book lying on the floor with a page ripped out. Viktor’s mannequin is dented and scuffed, with one of the legs missing.

While the lab is usually a mess, this looks like purposeful destruction.

Jayce traces his eyes across the room to find the leg on the ground in a knocked-over pile of library books next to Jayce’s desk. 

Curiously enough, Jayce notices his own side of the lab is in its usual state. It’s Viktor’s side that’s been ransacked.

Oh god, Jayce thinks. Is someone trying to steal Viktor’s research? Who would do that? And why cause such a mess while doing so?

“Oh, um- sorry about that.” Viktor pipes up from behind him.

Jayce whips around, still in a state of panic, and finds Viktor standing a couple feet behind him wincing at the state of the lab from over Jayce’s shoulder.

“Wait-” Jayce realizes, “this was you? ”

Viktor offers him a guilty, lopsided smile.

“I uh- may have hit a bit of a roadblock last night.” He shrugs past Jayce and steps into the room. “I was going to get up early and clean it up I swear I just…”

Viktor drums his fingers on his cane nervously, looking around at the state of things.

“A roadblock? What do you- wait, Viktor, yesterday was Sunday. ” Jayce scolds.

“I know, I know, I just had a lot on my mind and I needed to work on something!” Viktor is speaking quickly now in defense.

Jayce sees it now. The papers were pushed off the desk, not in search of something but in frustration. The mannequin leg was thrown across the room in anger, landing on Jayce’s books. 

Jayce’s eyes widen at the marks on the mannequin’s body- it was hit by something, repeatedly. Jayce turns to Viktor in shock.

“Did you-”

“I may have beat up the mannequin.” Viktor confesses, also glancing over at the one-legged figure and then back at Jayce.

There’s an odd moment of staring before they both begin to smile. It starts as a nervous chuckle and erupts into laughter, the kind that has Jayce holding his ribs with one hand by the end of it.

When it dies down, Viktor sniffs and finally says, “I really am sorry, I’ll clean it up.”

Jayce rolls his eyes, “I guess I’m helping.” Viktor doesn’t protest.

They spend the morning tidying up until the lab is, for the most part, back in its usual cluttered and homey splendor. The papers and books go back to their piles and the mannequin, with some battle scars, is put back together fairly easily.

“Did you hit this with your cane?” Jayce asks when the leg pops back in place.

Viktor shrugs, “The bastard was taunting me- he deserved it.”

Jayce shakes his head, “So bad-mannered. I told you I hated this thing.”

Viktor cradles his freshly brewed mug of coffee and hops up to sit on the edge of the desk, feet dangling.

“And I just should blindly listen to you instead of forming my own scientific opinions?” He asks playfully.

Jayce blushes when he makes eye contact with Viktor, whose face is engulfed in swirls of steam as he lifts the hot coffee to take a sip. A flutter, small, begins in his chest. It’s the kind of feeling he’s used to pushing down but this time, for the first time, the flutter feels more exciting than previous versions. A flutter of possibility.

“Listening to the theories of equal-minded colleagues is essential to the research process, Viktor.” Jayce teases and oh my god , is he flirting?

Viktor’s expression turns smug as if to say challenge accepted.

“As is challenging those theories. If we all agreed with each other we would never push the boundaries.”

“Who says I’m not pushing boundaries myself?”

When Jayce says it, he almost instantly catches the unintended double-meaning and feels a hot blush wash over his cheeks. Viktor narrows his eyes in curiosity.

“Okay genius, a quandary for you.” Viktor puts down his mug, turning his full body towards Jayce now, “An amputee patient receives a prosthetic limb and participates in physical rehabilitation. The prosthetic is fitted to the patient’s exact measurements and follows all current medical specifications.”

“What kind of limb?” Jayce asks, entertaining the idea.

“Leg.” Viktor responds, and Jayce can’t help but glance towards the mechanisms of the man’s brace in front of him, “It’s weight-bearing, but even after months of rehab, the patient is not as mobile as they were before the amputation. There’s still pain, even though the leg has no connection to the patient’s nervous system.”

Jayce notices the small mistake Viktor makes that reveals the identity of his patient. “ Still pain”. He glances at the mannequin and yes, the leg Viktor removed matches the side of his own bad leg.

“How do you improve it?” Viktor asks, looking to Jayce.

The wheels in Jayce’s head begin to spin in that way they do when he and his lab partner begin bouncing off one another, when the synergy begins.

“Well,” Jayce bites his lip in thought, “What if it was? Connected to the nervous system I mean.”

Viktor sips his coffee again and shakes his head, one step ahead already, “Then pain becomes an even bigger problem. And how would one even do that? Connecting something inorganic means you can’t graft on nerves. We’d have to build the leg its own nervous system.”

Viktor’s right. You can’t connect nerves and muscles to metal. “They would have to communicate.” Jayce says out loud.

“Exactly. But it’s two different languages.” Viktor sighs.

The two men sit in silence, but neither of them comes up with a solution in the moment.

“Hold on-” Jayce snaps his finger and points at the bookshelf, “Gimme that book with the nervous system diagrams in it you had open the other day.”

When the day finally ends, Jayce realizes he’s done no work on his own project. It feels like he and Viktor have barely started to gather sources when he looks up and notices it’s dark out.

“Holy shit,” Jayce mumbles.

“I think it’s all in this knee joint here. If we could-”

“Viktor. It’s 10pm.” Jayce says, and Viktor stops in his tracks.

“Hm.” He raises his eyebrows, “That means I missed my 3pm meeting.”

Jayce chuckles and takes the chalk from Viktor’s hand, setting it back down on the tray under the board.

“Can I walk you home? If I leave you here I might find you still working in the morning.” Jayce offers.

Please say yes, please say yes.

Viktor looks slightly stunned by the sudden proposition, then shakes his head. “That’s unnecessary, if you’re worried about my leg-”

“I’m not worried!” Jayce corrects himself quickly. Too desperate. Be cool. “I’m- actually I’m headed to Cait’s place, and she’s in that direction anyways.”

“Eh,” Viktor considers, looking upwards, “Fine, I guess. I don’t mind the company.”

Jayce could do a cartwheel. (Actually, Jayce can’t do a cartwheel. But metaphorically he could in this moment.)

“Cool, uh, lemme get my backpack.” Jayce tries not to run across the room in excitement.

Viktor shrugs on a long brown peacoat that’s been hanging off his chair all day and adjusts the maroon scarf around his neck. He turns and smiles at Jayce, “Ready?”

Jayce would do anything for Viktor to look at him like that forever.

“Ready.” Jayce nods, opening the door for the pair.

It’s a cold November night, the kind that makes Jayce glad he brought his puffy coat with him, because just the usual hoodie was not gonna cut it. He walks with his hands shoved in the pockets to avoid the biting sensation in his knuckles from the occasional gust of freezing air.

Viktor however, might as well be modeling. The long coat, the effortless scarf, even the gloves just seem to suit him perfectly. His nose and cheeks are tinted red against his pale skin, and the wind brushes the hair framing his face gently.

Despite the temperature, it’s actually quite a nice walk. The sky is clear, and once they get away from the streetlights in front of the engineering building, a full sky of stars is on display.

“I like stars.” Viktor comments, the fog of his breath forming the smallest cloud that dissipates with the wind. When he looks up towards the sky to admire them, Jayce notices how beautiful and long his eyelashes are. It’s these little things that are so new to Jayce, the things he never let himself notice before.

“Remind you of the chaos of the universe?” Jayce quips back, poking Viktor’s shoulder where his tattoo hides underneath. 

“Hm, I guess so. So much out there we don’t know. So much discovery.” Viktor’s voice is softer now, more intimate.

“Discovery.” Jayce breathes, and he swears one of the stars blinks out momentarily before it resumes its spot in the glittering tapestry.

“Ever dream about your ‘eureka’ moment?” Viktor asks.

“Hm?” Jayce hums, still enjoying the display.

In different circumstances, this would be romantic. Jayce would hold Viktor’s hand on the walk home and kiss him at the front door after musing about the stars.

“Like when you finally discover something. The breakthrough.” Viktor’s voice is laced with passion like the strongest drug. “It’s tradition to shout it, y’know.”

“Eureka.” Jayce whispers at the sky.

“Not yet.” Viktor says, “But one day, I’m gonna figure out how to make someone walk again.”

Jayce’s heart swells with pride. Viktor’s going to do it, he has no doubt. Viktor might be the most brilliant and wonderful person Jayce has ever met. If anyone could achieve such a dream, it’s Viktor.

After a while, the slow to a stop in front of Viktor’s apartment building. Jayce recognizes it even though the only other time he’s been here was under more dire circumstances.

“This is me.” Viktor nods over to the front door.

“Right.” Jayce nods, heart beginning to beat against his chest rapidly.

Viktor lingers there, not moving towards the door. Jayce, for a moment considers the idea of leaning forward and kissing him. Is it too soon? Should he wait? Does Viktor even like him like that?

Jayce would kiss his lips, his forehead, his cold-bitten cheeks, under his-

Jayce sucks in a breath.

There, peeking out from where Viktor’s scarf wrapped around his neck, is a dark purple mark. The kind of mark left behind from a heated encounter with another’s mouth. It was well-concealed before but now, up close, and facing directly towards each other, it’s unmistakable.

“Oh, uh-” Jayce stutters, “Right. Sorry.”

He tries his best not to stare and let his imagination get the best of him.

Of course, Jayce was a fool to think he was the only man in Viktor’s life. How could he assume something so selfish? Just because he’s never seen Viktor with someone else doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a life outside of the lab. 

Jayce’s head spins with the image of Viktor being kissed, being touched by someone else. The white-hot jealousy begins to course through his veins and he really doesn’t feel cold anymore. Did this happen at the Kirammen party, or some other time this weekend?

Oh, oh god Jayce thinks, he said he was in the lab late on a Sunday.

The idea of Viktor bringing someone to their lab- no, no Jayce can’t let his thoughts go there now. Not when they’re standing awkwardly in the cold outside of Viktor’s building.

Viktor looks like he wants to say something, but it never comes out.

“Sorry- goodnight, Viktor.” Jayce nods and turns on his heel to continue along the path, not looking back.

Chapter Text

Viktor slams the door of his apartment and leans against it, exhaling.

What the fuck?

That was real, right?

Viktor could’ve sworn Jayce was about to kiss him. They were so close Viktor could feel the warmth of Jayce’s breath against his face. Jayce, with that dazed, lidded expression, had leaned in every so slightly before something in him snapped back like a rubber band pulled too tight.

The worst part is Viktor wasn’t far from closing the gap himself if there hadn’t been a voice screaming in the back of his head that Jayce is a taken man and Viktor should absolutely not be doing that.

But, god, the way Viktor would’ve given everything, body and soul, to fall into that kiss. To inhale Jayce’s clouded breath and chase the warmth of Jayce’s touch until he forgets the cold, forgets that he’s standing illuminated under the streetlamp by his building where anyone could pass by and see.

Viktor would’ve told Jayce breathlessly to come up to his apartment, to share his bed, to be with Viktor completely. Even just to lay in his arms again and rest his head against the thumping of Jayce’s chest until they’re both asleep- that would be enough.

A pang of longing washes over him as he stands in his apartment alone. 

He hates it, but he knows it’s the right thing. Even if Jayce had wanted it, that would make him a cheater, and Viktor doesn’t want that. The logical voice in his head, although muffled, validates the decision and that’s enough to make Viktor feel grateful.

After starting his evening routine of running the bath and microwaving leftover take-out, he texts Vi: I think Jayce almost kissed me.

At least Vi will tell him when he’s being insane. Maybe he needs that right now.

The text back comes quickly: So he told you???

Viktor squints, shoving food into his mouth with chopsticks.

Told me what? He types back.

The bubbles that indicate Vi’s typing hover for a moment, then disappear. Viktor wants to scream at his phone.

Instead, he sets the take-out box on the bathroom counter and pulls his sweater off, chucking it somewhere without looking. He sits on the toilet lid to start on the leg brace when the message finally comes through.

Mel dumped him.

Viktor stares at the message, processing. That can’t be right. Jayce was with him pretty much the whole time at that Kirammen party until-

Oh. 

Another text from Vi comes through: He didn’t tell you?

Viktor rolls his eyes and shoves the brace off, leaving it discarded on the floor. He makes quick work of the rest and sinks into the tub, balancing his food and phone on the edge and taking a moment to thaw in the warm water.

When his muscles relax and the last of the biting cold is melted away, he picks up the phone again.

Pretty sure things would’ve gone a lot differently if he did.

He’s not wrong. He’s been holding back for a reason.

But if Jayce isn’t dating Mel, he had no reason to hold back, so why did he?

///

Jayce actually does end up going to Caitlyn’s place, because there’s way too much on his mind and being alone with his thoughts seems like a bad idea.

Cait fusses over him and scolds him for not wearing gloves or a hat upon his appearance at her doorstep, but eventually they’re cozied up with cocoa reading over some articles from their respective class assignments. Jayce has some catching up to do, after all, since he spent his whole day helping Viktor with his dissertation.

If being around Viktor while working is like perfect synergy, then being around Caitlyn is like a childhood memory. It’s comforting, just to be in the same room as her without saying a word. In high school, Jayce always gave her his notes from previous classes and they would study at her house together with piles of flashcards and microwave popcorn.

He’d been accused of ‘dating an underclassmen’ loads of times, but it never bothered him. It was never like that with Cait.

When Caitlyn had her first girlfriend, her parents were furious. It was Jayce that talked them down afterwards. He was there, upon Caitlyn’s request, for the first time Caitlyn ever brought a girl over to her parent’s place. It was an awkward dinner, but Jayce was happy to do it.

A question bubbles up in his throat that he’s been wanting to ask for some time now.

“Hey Cait?”

“Hm?” Caitlyn doesn’t look up from her book, elbows propped up on the bed to rest her chin in her hands.

“When did you…” Jayce exhales, “know you were gay?”

He tries to make it sound casual, he really does. The way Caitlyn looks up instantly makes him feel like he did a really poor job of that.

“Um, in high school I guess. When I had my first girlfriend.” She shrugs, but there’s something behind it. Almost like she’s trying to feign casualty the same way Jayce is.

“So like, you didn’t know until you… met someone?” Jayce fiddles with the corner of his notebook.

He feels Caitlyn’s eyes tunneling in on him, reading him carefully.

“Well…” She starts slowly, as if not to scare him off like a corned animal. 

He feels like one. Like at any moment, he might just decide not to have this conversation and tell Cait to forget it.

She continues slowly, “It’s- different. For everyone.”

Jayce just quietly picks at the frayed notebook edges. If he looks at her, he might just run out the door.

“I think Vi always knew. Sometimes you just know. Other times, it takes someone special to show you how you feel. That someone might come around… later than expected.”

She knows. She knows she knows she knows.

“And that can change. People change. It’s fluid, in a way.” She adds.

Jayce sighs and leans back in his chair, rubbing his temples.

“Jayce.” Caitlyn says softly, “This is about Viktor, isn’t it?”

Jayce groans. It’s always about Viktor these days, isn’t it?

The thing is, he’s just so embarrassed he didn’t figure it out sooner. That he pushed the feelings so deep and now things have gotten so out of hand. 

He wishes he could go back to that first day and do it all over again, before calling Mel his girlfriend and before he was so weird about everything. He could’ve taken Viktor to that cafe, invited him out on a date. He could’ve told Viktor how much he likes the cream knit sweater he wears. He could’ve kissed Viktor. So many times.

He thinks back to only an hour ago, where he was standing with Viktor under the streetlamp in the cold. He could’ve kissed Viktor then. Why didn’t he just do it?

Caitlyn sighs and closes her book, sitting up on the bed, “Y’know, you can talk to me about this.” She offers and pats the spot next to her.

Jayce leaves the desk and jumps up on the bed, laying face down on the pillows. Caitlyn lets him lay in silence for a moment and holds his hand, rubbing her thumb along his fingers.

“I’m an idiot.” Jayce says, muffled in the pillows.

“Well I’ve always known that.” Caitlyn laughs, in an attempt to keep things light.

Jayce smiles into the pillow. Thank god for Caitlyn.

He finally sits up and looks at her, crossing his legs together.

“I think I like him.” Jayce says, “I mean- I do. I do like him. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Jayce, he’s a guy, not an alien. Not to mention I think you know him better than anyone else on campus. You’ve got an advantage here.”

Jayce smiles. He’d like to think that’s partly true.

Jayce knows a lot about Viktor. He knows Viktor likes cinnamon coffee and sci-fi movies. He knows Viktor is passionate about making the world a better place by pushing the boundaries of science, and that when he talks about it he can go on and on until someone interrupts him.

The list goes on. Viktor hates the trolley because it’s unreliable. He likes drawing all of his blueprints by hand. His first science fair project as a kid was a model boat.

Okay, maybe he can do this.

“And it sounds like Viktor is pretty comfortable with his sexuality already, so I’m sure he can like, show you what to do.” Caitlyn shrugs.

“What to do?” Jayce’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“You know. What to do- in the…” Caitlyn tries to find the words for a moment, “Well, I might like girls but I know the anatomy can be a bit different if you’re thinking about…y’know.”

“Oh.” Jayce sucks in a breath.

Yeah, that’s probably something Jayce should become familiar with.

“Well I guess it can’t be that different.” Jayce chuckles, cheeks going red.

Caitlyn laughs and covers his mouth, and Jayce laughs along with her, struck with the sudden embarrassment of the conversation.

When their laughter falls silent, Caitlyn squeezes Jayce’s hand and says, “I’m happy for you, Jayce.”

“Thanks, Cait.” Jayce squeezes back.

///

By the time Friday hits, Viktor examines his neck in the mirror and finally decides the scarf is no longer necessary. The marks are definitely not gone, but they’ve faded enough to blend with the shadows cast by his face to not be noticeable.

The lab is quieter than usual. Jayce, who usually talks nonstop, begins putting more focus into his coursework and doesn’t ask about how Viktor’s prototype design is coming along. It’s weird to think just a couple days ago they worked on it together for hours.

Viktor often finds himself looking across the room to catch Jayce’s typical watching eyes, but they’re trained to the pages on his desk.

“Jayce.” He finally says, cutting through the silence.

Jayce looks up and Viktor’s breath hitches, met with the full attention of his warm hazel eyes.

“Yeah?” Jayce raises his eyebrows.

“I’m…” Viktor bites his lip, not sure what his plan was here. “I’m- I’m getting fines from the library now so I have to return some of these.” He nudges the stack on the ground gently with his foot.

Jayce glances at his own stack and sighs, “Me too. A walk then?”

Viktor smiles. He remembers that first month where he’d make any excuse to need another book, because Jayce would always walk with him to go get it.

“Actually,” Viktor smirks, “the trolley is running today.”

The trolley station near the engineering building is another stitch in the patchwork job on campus, somewhere in-between the shiny new renovations and the weathered, ivy-covered structures. It looks as if it was once considered state-of-the-art, but the marble is chipped and aged. The metal gate at the entrance squeaks open when nudged aside by Viktor’s cane.

Cables run up and down the track, sparking with light upon the next car’s approach. It halts in front of the pair, and a small bell dings as the glass doors slide open. Jayce and Viktor sit across from one another in the empty car and wait for the lurch of the forward motion.

Jayce drops the bag full of books with a heavy thud on the seat next to him. He insisted on carrying all of them, to Viktor’s annoyance.

“Bad day?” Jayce asks.

“No.” Viktor replies simply.

As the car speeds up on its track, the quad is on full display. Now that the leaves have fallen and the trees are left bare, it’s practically empty. One lone student bundled up with a scarf around their face trudges across the field.

“You’ve just been…” Jayce shrugs his shoulders, “quiet, I guess.”

Viktor really isn’t in the mood for more emotional whiplash today.

“So have you.” He quips, and it sounds more bitter than he intended.

The car slows to a stop and the pleasant automated voice says: Dining Hall.

The doors ding and slide open. Silence. Then they slide closed and the car lurches uncomfortably again, returning to motion.

“It just seems like you wanna say something.” Jayce mumbles.

Viktor rolls his eyes, “I don’t have to tell you everything all the time, Jayce. And neither do you, clearly.”

Jayce looks shocked by the statement and yeah, that must’ve stung. Viktor wanted it to. He doesn’t know why the sudden rage and frustration is coming through like an uncorked bottle spilling out but he can’t stop it.

“What do you mean by that?” Jayce asks, more assertive this time, the stunned expression falling into contempt.

With a loud screech, the car stops more suddenly this time, and the books fall out of the bag onto the floor of the trolley. Viktor grips his cane to stay upright and looks around, noticing they’re not stopped at a station.

The automated voice returns: Out of service. Please remain inside the vehicle.

Fucking trolley. Viktor is going to the Dean’s office after this and having some words.

The anger boils over.

“I mean when were you gonna tell me you got dumped last weekend?” Viktor glares at Jayce, looking him right in the eyes.

“What? Why do you care? Since when have you ever cared about that?” Jayce rubs his temples and then flings his hands out in frustration.

“I mean it explains why you’ve been a moody little-”

“Yeah? Well when were you gonna tell me you’ve been seeing someone? Hm?”

That stops Viktor in his tracks. 

“I-” He scrunches his face together, puzzled, “I’m not.”

Jayce just looks at him in confusion.

“Then why-” Jayce starts and then sighs, leaning back in his seat, no fight left.

“Well? Why what?” Viktor has no idea what this conversation even is anymore.

“The-” Jayce looks up at the ceiling and then back to Viktor, then gestures towards the side of his own neck and raises his eyebrows.

Viktor feels his whole body flood with embarrassed warmth. He honestly thought he had successfully hidden it all week.

“Since when have you ever cared about that?” Viktor throws Jayce’s own words back at him.

Jayce just laughs and rubs both his hands down his face, “I guess-” he shakes his head, “Viktor, I want to be more than just your lab partner. I want to talk about this stuff. That’s all.”

Viktor just hears more than just your lab partner echo over and over in his head.

“And yeah,” Jayce continues, “I got dumped. It sucked. But like, I don’t really think it was much of anything to begin with honestly. In a way I’m glad it’s over.”

With that, the car hums to life again and the tension from the conversation dissipates as quickly as it formed. 

“Were you really that jealous that someone other than you had the pleasure of my undivided attention this semester?” Viktor teases.

Jayce rolls his eyes and kneels on the ground to gather the fallen books back up. Viktor watches closely as a blush creeps onto Jayce’s face. 

“Just curious.” He says, voice softer as he steals a glance up at Viktor.

“Well if this has become a confessional,” Viktor offers, “the person that left those lovely reminders wasn’t exactly my first choice so, I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.”

Too forward? Could be. Viktor’s eyes are trained on Jayce to read the reaction.

Before Jayce responds, the car begins to slow and the automated voice (which Viktor is really starting to have a personal vendetta with) says: Piltover Academy Library

“That’s us!” Jayce stands and slings the bag of books over his shoulder, “Shall we?”

Viktor stands and puts his hand on Jayce’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but after this, we’re walking back.”

Chapter Text

“You’re really packing all of this for two nights, Viktor?” Jayce questions as he stuffs another book in the already overflowing bag on Viktor’s desk.

“Jayce, I’m being sent to this event to be inspired, as Heimerdinger says. I would like to be prepared if inspiration hits.” Viktor explains, gathering papers and stuffing them between pages of his notebook.

“Just please tell me you’re not bringing the mannequin.” Jayce groans, stretching out his arms, “I’m not trying to fit that in here.”

Viktor smirks, “I considered it.”

“Bastard. You’re just making me do all the heavy lifting.” Jayce complains playfully.

“I’m not making you do anything- you offered. I simply provided instructions.” Viktor shrugs, tossing the notebook onto the desk. “That goes too. In the bag.”

Jayce looks at the bag and back to Viktor, then sighs and shoves the notebook in as well. He swears the seams on the edges could give out any minute.

He feels similarly. The metaphorical seams holding him together are strained with the revelations he’s been having in the clarity of Mel’s absence. The feelings he’s developing for his lab partner aren’t just passing thoughts he can suppress or swallow down like before. Something about coming out to Cait made it so much bigger and tangible and real.

He’s very likely a gay man. Or bisexual. Or- he likes men. A particular man.

He’s shunted from those thoughts when he startles to a sudden knock at the door.

“Hello gentlemen!” The high-pitched voice of Professor Heimerdinger rings out as he steps through the doorway.

“”Professor!” Viktor sits up straight and fixes his collar.

Jayce copies him, adjusting to look equally presentable before asking, “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

The small man shuffles in to stand in front of the pair, clearing his throat, “I see you boys have… settled into your lab space this semester.” He winces at the state of their surroundings, particularly eyeing the mannequin in the corner that’s seen far better days.

“Yes, sir, it’s a privilege.” Viktor nods. Jayce remembers when he would get this side of Viktor, the calculated responses fit for a professional, academic relationship. He far prefers the version of Viktor that spills coffee on his notes, curses in his first language, and then scolds Jayce for trying to help him clean it.

“Good, good! I have some exciting news. A spot has opened up for an additional student to join your cohort at the Distinguished Innovator’s Competition this weekend.” Heimerdinger claps excitedly, “Since young Jayce here has demonstrated such remarkable work in his first semester, I would like for him to join you, Viktor.”

Jayce blinks and beams down at his advisor in awe and surprise. Heimerdinger chose him? Out of everyone? He feels like he hasn't made much progress in finding a topic of study, but something must’ve got his attention. 

“I’d be honored, professor. His work is quite remarkable.” Viktor replies, and when Jayce looks at him he shares a genuine smile that Jayce feels is meant just for him. It makes his heart soar even further. 

“I’m honored as well, professor. Thank you- it’s an incredible opportunity.” Jayce manages to put together a sentence through the pride filling his chest.

“That’s settled then! You’ll room with Viktor. I’m sure you two have grown accustomed to sharing your space. I’ll send you the admission details this afternoon.”

“I’m sorry?” Viktor coughs, and Jayce’s eyes widen.

Room with Viktor? This weekend? Oh no. No. No that would be-

“The room sleeps two, my dear boy.” Heimerdinger explains, “I figured since you’re lab partners-”

“That’s fine!” Jayce chokes out, and he’s not even sure why he said it. It’s a horrible, terrible, bad idea.

Viktor shoots a wide-eyed look at Jayce, who just stands there in surprise of his own words.

“Excellent.” The professor lifts his heels and turns mto leave. “Enjoy the competition! Make the Academy proud!”

After his figure disappears from view, the two men stand in silence in the lab.

Jayce winces, “I’m sorry, I should’ve-”

“It’s fine, Jayce. Just eh, unexpected.” Viktor nods and wipes the shock from his face, leaning back in the seat again, “Besides, we might as well be roommates already.”

Viktor’s right, with the amount of late nights they’ve spent in the lab together. But still, Jayce feels a nervous itch deep inside at the thought of sleeping in the same room as Viktor.

A million questions begin to race through his head as the potential scenarios add up. Is Viktor a light sleeper? Heavy sleeper? What’s his nighttime routine like? What does Viktor wear to sleep?

“Jayce?” Viktor asks in a more concerned tone.

Jayce realizes he’s breathing hard with his hand over his chest. He quickly drops the tension in his shoulders and nods; an attempt at playing it cool.

“Yeah, roommates. Let’s do it.”

The day they’re supposed to leave, Viktor insists on getting lab time in, which Jayce would usually be totally into if not for the jitters of energy coursing through his whole body at the thought of spending a whole weekend with the man he’s borderline obsessed with.

So Jayce sits at his desk tapping his pen and trying his best to look productive. He flips through books, doodles in his notebook, but really he’s lost in a daydream. It’s really unlike Jayce to not be in the mood for science but today he’s giving himself a free pass.

Viktor’s dressed more casually today due to the upcoming travel. On top of his usual slacks and button-down is a roomy crewneck sweatshirt. It’s a faded white color with the word “Riot” stitched on the front in red. Must be a band or something.

After the doodles start to look more and more like his lab partner’s physique sketched across the pages of his notebook, his stomach begins growling.

“Viktor,” Jayce whines, “can we please just go get road trip snacks and head to the hotel?”

Viktor doesn’t turn away from the chalkboard, but he answers, “Depends on your taste in road trips snacks.” There’s a playful hint in his voice.

Jayce perks up, knowing that means Viktor will eventually cave and finish up.

“How about chips?” Jayce suggests.

“What kind?”

“Um…” Jayce hesitates, trying to recall what brands are in Viktor’s current rotation. “Pringles.”

“Meh.”

“Doritos?”

“Better.”

But Viktor still doesn’t turn. Jayce has to up his game.

“What about the little sour watermelon candies?” Jayce asks.

Viktor instantly makes a noise of disgust and Jayce scoffs, offended. Those are his favorite.

“Okay uhhh, what about oreos?” Jayce suggests. “Double stuffed.” He adds for extra measure.

Viktor stops writing, considering. “Oreos are good. Very tempting.”

Jayce narrows his eyes and goes in for the kill. 

“I’ll buy us a whole pack of redbull for the weekend.”

“Done.” Viktor finally turns, flicking the nub of chalk aside as he flashes a smug smile over at Jayce across the room.

After their bags are packed in the back of Jayce’s car and they purchase a full stock of junk food from the nearest gas station, they begin their journey into the city.

The Piltover Academy of Science isn’t really in Piltover, it’s more of a namesake than anything. The actual city of Piltover is a bit of a drive towards the coast, but worth making the trek just to marvel at the feat of architecture it truly is. It makes the newly renovated academy facilities seem ancient in comparison. Jayce used to go with Cait’s family as a kid every now and then, but it’s been a while since he’s laid eyes on the splendor of it all.

“When’s the last time you’ve been to the city?” Jayce asks Viktor, who’s already made himself comfortable in the passenger seat with a huge bag of Doritos in his lap.

“Believe it or not, I’ve never been.” Viktor replies casually, and Jayce’s jaw drops.

“Never? Like in your whole life?” Jayce asks in disbelief.

Viktor shrugs and shoves a chip in his mouth, “I grew up in Zaun, remember?” he mumbles between crunches.

That’s right. Now Jayce feels like a dick.

“Shit- you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Dear god, don’t be sorry . Everyone’s always sorry. As if the whole disability thing wasn’t enough.” Jayce can feel Viktor’s eye roll without even taking his own off the road.

Jayce has heard this rant from Viktor before; he should know better. It’s just that he forgets how different they are sometimes; how different their childhoods were. It’s an easy thing to forget when Viktor is so similar to him in so many other ways.

“Well I’ve never been to Zaun, so I guess we’ll have to visit there next.” Jayce suggests.

“Eh,” Viktor dives in the chip bag again, “it’s pretty shit. Food is good though, I’ll give it that.”

The conversation begins to flow like it’s another day in the lab. They talk the entire time over the tunes of Viktor’s favorites playlists, which are actually quite good even though Jayce hasn’t heard of over half of the songs on it.

Viktor talks about school in Zaun, how he took art classes for his electives and his best friend was a neighbor down the street that was like at least 50 years older than him. Jayce talks about he and Cait’s favorite childhood tv shows and how he woke up on the quad in his underwear one time as a freshman in college. He gets a rare snort-laugh from Viktor over that one.

By the time they approach the towering Sun Gate Bridge, the car is covered in snack wrappers and Viktor is using his cane as an extension of his arm to try to drag his duffel bag out from the backseat.

Jayce hits him on the arm and points forward, “Stop it! Look!”

Viktor turns in time to see the car pass under the first archway of the bridge.

“Oh, wow.” He says under his breath.

Jayce thought maybe everything seemed so grand as a kid because he was so small, but even as an adult the long metal structures of the bridge reach into the sky with the same overwhelming height as he remembers. In the distance, the skyscrapers jutting out and up over the cliffs might as well be molded by the hands of giants.

When they arrive at their hotel, it’s adorned with the same brass geometric columns that seem to extend endlessly into the clouds. Jayce notices it’s not dissimilar to some of the architecture in the Engineering Building that’s home to he and Viktor’s lab.

“The Academy paid for this?” Viktor breathes in disbelief as they cross through the entrance with their bags of books in tow. Immediately, someone approaches to help load them onto a shiny gold luggage cart.

“And we’re not even participants in the competition.” Jayce laughs, approaching the front desk and easily retrieving a pair of keycards for their room.

When they finally find the right one in the maze of hallways, Jayce is instantly grateful when he sees the interior. Two beds. Thank god.

In addition to the beds is a large bathroom with a sliding door, and what looks like a floor to ceiling window covered by a curtain on the opposite wall.

Viktor peaks behind the curtain, “Jayce! There’s a balcony!” He whispers excitedly.

“We are totally entering this competition next year. This is crazy.” Jayce throws his bag onto the bed closest to him, feeling giddy with the whole experience already.

“We?” Viktor turns and asks.

“Oh-” Jayce stumbles to correct himself, “We as in like, we’ll both probably be entering. Like with our own projects. I mean I assumed you would be.”

Viktor seems to think about that statement longer than expected, and Jayce wants so badly to know what’s going through his mind. Well, Jayce pretty much always wants to know that. Viktor’s mind is spectacular.

“Well, if you ever figure out what your project is going to be.” Viktor teases, and Jayce feigns offense over the comment, a wide smile breaking through.

Viktor’s in an especially good mood, and Jayce can’t blame him because he feels that same floating, bubbling feeling that makes it impossible not to be constantly smiling all the time.

Seeing Viktor so excited like this is one of his favorite things. He has the same glint of possibility in his eyes as he does when they start to think on the same wavelength in the lab. When that happens, the conversation always becomes a rapid back-and-forth and the spinning in Jayce’s mind feels like a high he never wants to come out of. 

“Do you wanna get dinner? It’s not that late and the competition doesn’t start until tomorrow.” Jayce offers, and normally even the idea of it would make him feel nauseous with anxiety but right now he couldn’t give a fuck.

If this weekend is the closest they ever get, Jayce wants it to be perfect. He feels so far away from the stress of the academy and the fine line that he and Viktor keep dancing on in the professional setting of the lab. This weekend feels special, something they just get to share together. Jayce wants to savor every second. He wants to be selfish with this time.

Maybe on Monday nothing will have changed, and they’ll go back to the way things are between them. Friends, lab partners, never questioning if it could be something more. Jayce honestly couldn’t care about that right now.

“Dinner?” Viktor asks curiously, and his face doesn’t seem to reject the idea.

“Yeah,” Jayce crosses his legs on the bed, “Cait and I used to go to this place by the harbor that sells fish and chips in little newspapers. It’s super greasy, you’d love it.”

Viktor smiles and seems to be picturing it already.

“I do love food that my doctors would adamantly disprove of.”

It’s the perfect night. Jayce leads Viktor through the crowded streets in the square where booths and stages are being set up for tomorrow’s competition, down to the harbor on the west side of town. The billowing sails of the ships are being rolled up for the night, although the docks are still crowded with people moving cargo.

They order food and bottles of cider at the counter tucked away midway down the dock. The parcels of food are still fresh with hot oil and Jayce swears he could be ten again, feeling the crinkle of the newspaper in his hands and the smell of the fryers wafting from behind the counter.

They find a bench overlooking the harbor right as the sun finishes setting and the sky is still painted in bright pinks and oranges. Viktor actually eats the food, to Jayce’s pride and relief, and even bobs his head happily while chewing.

“It’s nice to see you eat real food and not coffee and gas station snacks.” Jayce laughs, nudging Viktor with his elbow and taking a sip of the cold cider.

Viktor rolls his eyes, “You don’t have to take care of me all the time, y’know. I actually hate it.”

“Sure you do.” Jayce raises his eyebrows. “And believe it or not, it’s not a bad thing when people care about you, Viktor.”

While Viktor would usually have some snarky response to that, he doesn’t say a word. He just smiles down into his food, almost bashfully, which is new.

They finish their food in a comfortable silence as the sunset shifts into deeper colors, silhouetting the ships in the distance.

“Who takes care of you, then? Cait?” Viktor asks, and it’s not a tease. His eyes are earnest.

Something about the question catches Jayce off guard, and a lump forms in his throat. Maybe it’s just the soft intimacy of their conversation and the ambience of the harbor that’s almost…romantic.

“I guess, yeah.” He shrugs, swallowing down the lump with another swing of cider.

Viktor hesitates, then responds with, “I wouldn’t mind returning the favor now and then.”

The phrase tugs at his heart and he feels tears well up in the corners of his eyes. Suddenly, he’s so aware of the closeness of the man and how by just adjusting his body slightly, Viktor could lean against him on the bench. He doesn’t dare move, though.

He doesn’t even respond. He just blinks back the tears and finishes the bottle.

There’s something oddly comforting about the evening spent together. For the first time, Jayce doesn’t feel himself second-guessing his every move around Viktor. There’s no voice in the back of his mind questioning what this even is or if Viktor feels the same way he does. Jayce is simply happy to enjoy what the city has to offer with his partner in tow. It’s easy, the two of them together out and about like this.

They arrive back in the hotel room when the sky finally fades to black and the glittering lights of the city are visible from between the curtains. The room is illuminated by the soft light of the bedside lamps, and Jayce feels the heaviness of his limbs as exhaustion settles into his body.

They wordlessly begin their nighttime routine. Jayce half-unpacks his bag, enough to find his toothbrush and deodorant to freshen up. He wants to just collapse into the bed, but having Viktor think he’s some disgusting heathen that doesn’t brush his teeth isn’t an option.

Viktor gets to work on his leg brace, and Jayce can’t help but be taken back to the night he was at Viktor’s place going through the same motions. He remembers each buckle and clasp. The smell of the leather and worn metal. The weight of it in his hands.

Once the brace is off, Viktor stands awkwardly.

“Uh- I’m gonna…” He points backwards towards the bathroom with his thumb, “change.”

“Right.” Jayce nods, that fluttering nervous feeling finally returning and taking root somewhere deep inside him.

When Viktor disappears behind the sliding door, Jayce fully panics.

Was he supposed to bring pajamas? Why didn’t he think of that?

He quickly flings off his shirt and pants and gets into bed, pulling the sheets over himself to cover his boxers and most of his bare chest from view. 

Viktor emerges soon after, carrying his back brace, with grey sweatpants hanging off of his hips and an old science fair t-shirt. His hair is fluffed up, probably from pulling his sweatshirt over his head and leaving it perfectly tousled. Jayce stares, because he’s only human and god help him if he has to wake up to this in the morning too.

Viktor looks hot like this. Jayce can’t believe he spent so long questioning whether he could be attracted to a man this semester because it’s so obvious in this moment. He wants to slide his hands under the soft cotton fabric of Viktor’s shirt and plant kisses along the moles that dot his neck and shoulders.

Jayce notices he’s not the only one staring. Viktor is also staring back, specifically at Jayce’s exposed chest in surprise, before blinking and looking away quickly. Jayce wants to hide under the covers in embarrassment.

“You don’t mind if I keep the lamp on for a bit?” Viktor asks, rifling through his backpack to retrieve his notebook.

“Uhhh..” Jayce notices the gravel in his voice and tries his best to act normal for god’s sake, “No, no that’s fine. You’re uh- working on your project now? ”

Viktor looks back at him, amused, “I like to revisit it before I sleep. Just in case.”

Jayce watches him crawl into the bed and begin laying out all the papers in front of him in a fan. He cracks open one of the energy drinks and leans back, surveying. It’s the Viktor from the lab he knows best: methodical, detail-oriented, with a concerning hint of insanity.

“You’re having a redbull before bed?” Jayce asks, alarmed.

“I’ll be up a while.” Viktor sips it, still staring at the notes.

It’s the same Viktor that gets sucked into the formulas on the chalkboard for hours on end with a lukewarm cup of coffee. He’s probably right, it’ll be a while before he even thinks about sleeping, if Jayce were to bet on it.

In another universe, Jayce imagines he would join Viktor on the bed and pull him into his lap so that he could work while leaning against Jayce’s bare chest. He’d plant kisses in the smaller man’s hair and quietly run his hands along his shoulders, massaging the tension away.

Eventually, Jayce would convince Viktor to retire for the night with soft whispers into the crook of his neck. They’d forget the research and fall asleep tangled in each other’s warmth.

Just the thought of it lulls Jayce into a content, sleepy haze.

“Okay well, uh, I’m gonna sleep.” Jayce yawns and stretches his arms out.

It’s quick, but Jayce catches Viktor’s eyes dart up his extended arms and then train back on the notes.

A small, dangerous thought enter’s Jayce’s mind.

What if Viktor feels the same way I do?

The thought of his feelings being reciprocated is something he hasn’t allowed himself to hope for, but the way Viktor steals glances and blushes at simple compliments make Jayce wonder. It’s silly, really, the idea of Viktor being interested in that way. Jayce has no idea what he’s doing and Viktor is, well, Viktor. Confident and cool and sure of himself.

The thoughts don’t root too deep, thankfully, as the sleepiness clouds his mind enough to soothe the seed of hope and worry. He relaxes into the pillows and lets the comforting little pencil scratches and quiet contemplation of Viktor across the room lull him gently to sleep.

Chapter Text

Viktor sleeps terribly.

It’s because of the damned leg, as always. Every time Viktor has some important event to attend it acts up like this, as if it has a cruel mind of its own.

The first time he wakes up, he’s surrounded by a nest of papers and notebooks, some half-crinkled under his body. He’s somewhat confused at first, because he’s in a very large bed with very bad pillows that certainly aren't his own.

Now several factors here are familiar to Viktor. It’s not the first time he’s woken up in a pile of his own research. It’s also not the first time he’s woken up in an unfamiliar bed.

It’s certainly not the first time he’s woken up in pain.

All three together is a first for Viktor, and he suddenly remembers everything: the road trip, the hotel, the competition-

And Jayce.

He’s almost afraid to look but he can’t help it.

He’s there. Jayce is there, the bed next to him mere feet away. He’s sprawled over the mattress fast asleep, short strands of hair falling into his face.

The sheets he had pulled up to poorly hide his lack of clothes are now kicked aside, and god Viktor wants to know what bullshit he did to deserve this kind of punishment. Jayce, with one arm resting comfortably above his head on the pillow, is on full display with his bare, golden skin only covered by a pair of small plaid boxer shorts. 

Viktor thought bodies like this only existed in dirty calendars. Jayce’s muscles are sculpted and toned beautifully, and Viktor wants to trace every curve and divet in his torso and arms. It seems the trips to the academy gym have been paying off.

“Fuck.” Viktor whispers to himself, almost scolding. He’s fully aware of what the sight of Jayce barely clothed in front of him is doing to his own body.

So he tears his eyes away and turns out the light to save himself. After gathering up the papers and putting them in a pile on the desk by the mini fridge, he lays back down and turns to face the wall. He tries to think of anything else to stop the… inconvenient sensation below the waistband of his sweatpants but it’s a long while before he gets back to sleep.

The second time he wakes up, the pain outweighs the arousal.

He sits up quickly to grab at his leg, which only causes a sharp twinge in his back that makes everything worse. His breathing quickens to full-on hyperventilating, and his mind spins as he tries his best to get enough oxygen to function.

He reaches for his meds on the nightstand and accidentally knocks an empty redbull can onto the floor with a clatter. 

Despite the urgency of his pain, Viktor freezes to assess whether he’s woken his partner. Jayce only groans a little and shifts in his sleep.

Viktor finds the right bottle and pours two little pills into his palm, instantly lifting them to his mouth to take them with a shaking hand.

Okay, now I have to breathe, he coaches himself. There’s no bathtub, no drugs. You’ve got to power through this.

As he gasps for breath, he tries to count to slow himself down, but it doesn’t work. His mind wills his body to follow the numbers but the gasps keep coming, desperate for oxygen. The white-hot wires burn through his nerves and muscles with unyielding pain.

Focus on your senses, like that stupid therapist told you, he thinks. What was first? Five things you can see, or hear, maybe?

Opening his eyes somehow makes the pain worse and he squeezes them shut again quickly. Okay, okay not that. Try listening.

Viktor begins to try and take stock of what he can hear as a last-ditch effort to regulate himself. At first, all he can hear is the sound of his own short, panicked breaths in the quiet of the space. Hotels are too quiet for this. Fuck hotels. Why did he agree to do this?

What else? What else? He focuses harder and- there- a sound, the AC unit by the window hums to life.

My breathing, the AC unit, that’s two. What else?

The list doesn’t seem to be helping as Viktor now has to clutch at his chest with the lack of proper oxygen.

Come on, Viktor, what else?

He squeezes his eyes shut even harder as he clings to himself and searches the soundscape once more. There’s another sound, a softer one he didn’t notice until now.

It’s the sound of breathing, but not his own- Jayce’s. Calm, even breaths coming from the other man in the room. Viktor always imagined Jayce to be the snoring type, but he’s just too fucking perfect for that isn’t he?

As he listens to the other man’s breathing, Viktor notices his own attempting to regulate. It’s clumsy at first, more of a quick, quick, slow pattern of gasps and exhales, but it’s progress. After a few minutes, he’s able to match the pace of Jayce and the large gulps of air provide relief that releases the tension in his body.

The pain doesn’t stop as easily, but Viktor follows the pattern of Jayce’s peaceful breaths until he’s able to fall back asleep.

The third time he wakes up, it’s finally morning.

The cracks between the curtains cast long shards of warm light into the room. The space is illuminated by the brightness of it, revealing Jayce and Viktor’s suitcase contents spilled all over the floor from when they dug through them last night.

The pain isn’t nearly as bad as it was last night, which is a relief because Viktor was going to be so pissed if his body decided to have a bad day during this competition. He’s been looking forward to it for the past month. He rubs his leg with the heels of his hands to assess and yes, it seems to have resolved enough to be background noise, business as usual.

When he finally steals a glance towards the bed next to him, he’s surprised to find it empty. No gorgeous, half-naked body tangled in sheets. No Jayce. He can’t say he’s not disappointed.

Viktor sits up in bed, and like clockwork begins opening each little orange bottle on the nightstand. Once he’s gathered a little pile of pills in his palm, he heads to the bathroom.

Now, he did make a few mistakes here.

The first was leaving his cane by the bed.

The second was failing to consider the empty bed as evidence for the fact that Jayce was probably in the bathroom.

When he knocks into the solid (and still barely clothed) body of Jayce rounding the corner from the bathroom door, the pills go flying.

“Ah-!” Viktor yelps in surprise and almost topples over when he tries to use his bad leg to right his balance. Almost, because Jayce steadies him with two strong hands on his hips holding him in place.

“Woah there, you okay?” Jayce asks, a hint of genuine concern behind the slight laugh.

“I’m-” Viktor short-circuits. He’s rarely ever at a loss for words, but this an extenuating circumstance.

Jayce is dripping wet with a towel hanging low on his hips. Viktor’s eyes follow the drops of water that leave shiny wet trails along the contours of his chest and down the v-line between his hips.

“I’m fine?” He squeaks out, at a bit of a higher pitch than he intended.

“Your uh- meds-” Jayce releases his grip on Viktor quickly and bends down to collect them from where they bounced across the carpet. Viktor bites his tongue to stifle a whimper at the position of Jayce knelt in front of him.

Don’t be weird, don’t be fucking weird, he pleads with himself.

“Here.” Jayce stands and returns the pills to Viktor, then pats him on the shoulder and awkwardly side-steps past.

“Uh huh.” Viktor nods, still stuck standing in place.

There’s no way he’s going to survive this for another night.

Luckily, the rest of the morning goes smoothly. After getting dressed, the pair grab a quick breakfast in the hotel lobby (the coffee is shit but gets the job done), and they head to the square for the opening ceremonies of the competition.

The second Viktor steps outside, he notices how crowded the city is in comparison to the light foot traffic from last night. There’s people everywhere, and the streets have been shut down to accommodate the extra pedestrians.

The crowd is surprisingly diverse. There’s families with young kids perched on their parent’s shoulders. A group of students in uniform file after a tall man with a school logo flag. Viktor even spots an older couple holding hands and taking their time as they shuffle through the crowd.

“Ready?” Viktor turns to Jayce, who’s already beaming with excitement.

“Absolutely.”

It doesn’t take long to reach the large banner hanging over the entrance to the square reading Distinguished Innovator’s Competition with huge multi-colored balloons hovering above either side. 

A young woman with wild curls and a volunteer badge meets them at the check-in table and quickly finds their names on a clipboard.

“Piltover Academy, impressive!” She chirps, sliding some welcome packets and two lanyards across the table.

“Thanks! We’re excited to be here.” Jayce grins and she blushes, giggling even though Jayce didn’t say anything remotely funny.

This man, can’t take him anywhere.

Even though Viktor moves to enter the square, the girl continues, body language directed toward Jayce. “What are you studying? I’m in the grad program at-”

“Jayce, can you hold my packet for me?” Viktor interrupts, tapping his cane and shrugging with fake sympathy, “I’d like a free hand.”

Viktor is, in fact, fully capable of holding the packet and his cane in the same hand.

“Oh- yeah, sorry!” Jayce tosses his lanyard over his head and moves to catch up with Viktor, taking the packet and tucking it under his arm with his own. Viktor smiles to himself when the young volunteer deflates and turns to the next guest.

So maybe Viktor has a bit of a jealous streak. Just a bit.

Upon entering the square, the pair is met with a sensory overload of sights, sounds, and smells. Carts of fair food waft a delicious perfume over the crowd and mingle with the upbeat music being played through speakers along the walkway. Over the general chatter, there’s a booming voice speaking into a microphone on a stage in the distance, but Viktor can’t make out what he’s saying.

There’s so much activity happening around him he has no idea what direction to allow himself to be pulled in. He’s never been around so many people or so many inventions and he wants to learn about all of it, despite the knowledge that it would take a week to thoroughly pick the brain of everyone in attendance.

They pass a display of furniture and the man in front of it gracefully unfolds a simple coffee table into a multi-tiered desk. The sleek black surfaces flicker to life as Viktor realizes the whole thing is a touch screen.

“Vi says her friend from Kirammen is doing a presentation so we definitely have to go to that one.” Jayce says, scanning the program and pointing when he finds the familiar name.

“Well I’m not missing that speaker I told you about- the genetics professor from that one place. I cited his research in my master’s thesis.” Viktor waves a hand, still heavily distracted by the sheer amount of stuff.

“That’s not till later, we have time.” Jayce nods, pressing the program to his thigh to add a note and circle something. “We also need to find that robotics team, they’ve got this really cool thingy I wanna see.”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

They spend the entire day together, which wasn’t planned but it just so happens that everything that Jayce is interested in, Viktor also wants to see. Purely coincidence. They almost miss the Kirammen presentation, but Viktor plays up the whole leg-thing to get a good seat near the front just as it’s starting

Vi’s friend is young, like really young, but his presentation is actually really sound. He’s built a prototype for a working hoverboard that supports his full weight, and does a bold live demonstration that wins the crowd over with oo’s and ah’s. Plus, Viktor might have developed a soft spot for him the moment he read the kid’s bio and saw that he’s a fellow Zaunite.

After the presentation, Jayce buys a huge plate of fried oreos (Viktor is skeptical at first but it’s actually really good) and proceeds to become absolutely covered in powdered sugar, which makes Viktor laugh so hard he almost runs straight into a trash can.

By the end of the day, Jayce is carrying three whole tote bags of free shit that the two of them have collected. It got a little out of hand when it became a competition after Jayce bragged to Viktor about getting a rubber wristband from the clean energy workshop. The thing is, Jayce only got it because he’s a flirt and Viktor attended the workshop with him for god’s sake but was not offered such a prize. He complains that it's incredibly ableist and then Jayce is the one laughing so hard he actually does run into a trash can.

During the closing ceremonies, Viktor’s leg is screaming at him and he’s doing his best to ignore it because he’s actually having fun for once. Jayce insists that he sit for at least a few minutes while he gets them something to drink, so now Viktor is guardian of the tote bags on some random bench.

“Champagne?” Jayce asks in an overly-posh voice when he returns, handing Viktor a delicate flute filled with golden bubbles. If it was just a tinge darker, it would match the color of Jayce’s eyes, sparkling and full of wonder.

“How kind.” Viktor takes it and scoots over to make room for his partner.

“I trust you maintained a high security clearance on our stuff.” Jayce nods at the pile of bags.

Viktor smirks, “Of course, plush school mascots and office supply coupons are in high demand this season.”

Jayce snorts into his drink, and Viktor tries so hard to keep it together because his abdomen actually hurts from laughing all day.

It’s strange, because Viktor is usually really good at boundaries. He’s spent all of his academic career carefully drawing lines between his work and his personal life. It’s just easier that way, easier to cover up all the weaknesses and little Zaunite quirks. He’s been able to create a good name for himself, his peers and professors respect him and see him as a valuable member of the scientific community, for the most part.

It’s not that he’s shy, really, he just likes to keep his private life well, private. His two lives don’t mix, they never mix, and it’s a good system.

Up until now.

See, all day, Viktor has had to remind himself that this whole trip is a professional opportunity. An event his advisor recommended him for, paid for, sponsored himself. 

With Jayce here with him, the lines feel more blurred than they’ve ever been, and it’s as frightening as it is exhilarating. 

“Cheers,” Jayce holds out his glass, gently pulling Viktor from his train of thought.

Viktor smiles and taps their glasses together, “Cheers, Jayce. To progress.”

“To progress.” Jayce smiles.

“I’m not saying the projects weren’t impressive, I’m just saying I’m sure I’ll win next year.” Viktor shouts to Jayce, who’s brushing his teeth in the bathroom.

Viktor immediately began spreading out his notes again on the bed when they had finally returned to the hotel. The ideas were flowing, and he wasn’t going to waste a second of that potential energy. Besides, that’s the reason Heimerdinger sent him here in the first place: inspiration.

“No, no, I wasn’t saying I don’t think you’d win!” Jayce’s voice, muffled by his toothbrush, echoes from the bathroom. “I’m just saying it’s not going to be easy!”

“Psh,” Viktor scoffs, “once I connect these dots, I’m making medical history.”

He stares down at the notes. He knows the answer is staring right back at him, which is the most frustrating part.

Jayce emerges from around the corner and leans against the wall.

“Still can’t get them to communicate?” He asks, referring to their conversation from last week.

Two different languages , Viktor’s own voice repeats in his head.

“No, no I can’t figure out the connection. I can’t start on the prototype until I know how it links.” Viktor exhales, tapping his pencil against the side of his head.

“Hm.” Jayce sighs and sits on his own bed, beginning to flip through the stack of pamphlets he collected from the presentations.

Viktor unfolds the nervous system diagram poster he brought from the lab. Tracing down from the brain he follows the tiny neural pathways in the spine that branch out towards the legs at the bottom. He stops at the top of the thigh and taps his pencil there.

“Viktor.” Jayce says quietly, and Viktor wants to scream because he’s thinking and he needs Jayce to leave him alone for two seconds while he figures this out.

His eyes flick towards the sketch of the prototype and he taps his pencil against the big red question mark scribbled where his sketch ends abruptly at the top of the mechanical thigh.

“Viktor.” Jayce says again, more urgently this time.

“Not now.” Viktor mumbles, sliding the two pages together to match them up. It’s all he has to do. Metal. Muscle. Neurons. They have to connect. How do they connect?

Jayce slaps a pamphlet down over the two diagrams, and Viktor hadn’t even noticed Jayce approaching but now he’s really gonna kill him.

“I'm thinking , Jayce would you please -”

“Look, Viktor. Read it.” Jayce says simply, and the shakiness in his voice catches Viktor’s attention.

The pamphlet reads Making Dreams Come True: An Analysis of REM Sleep in Lucid Dreamers . Viktor remembers this presentation. While it was interesting, he found the qualitative analysis to be quite a reach.

“Open it, look at the figures.” Jayce instructs.

“Jayce, if this is going to be a pun about achieving my dreams, I’m really gonna-”

Jayce reaches over and opens the pamphlet, pointing to an image with jagged lines. “How did they get this?”

What the fuck is Jayce on about right now?

“It’s an EEG, Jayce, they use them to read…” Viktor trails off and his heart skips a beat.

“Electrical activity.” Jayce finishes for him.

“In the brain.” Viktor whispers under his breath.

They’re frozen like that for a moment, Viktor sitting on the bed with the pamphlet in his hands and Jayce standing next to him waiting. He feels the click… click… of the cogs in his brain turning and synchronizing.

Viktor springs to life and reshuffles the papers, “Get me the anatomy book from my bag with the green cover.”

Jayce runs and returns, already opening to the chapter Viktor had in mind. It’s that synergy again, the quiet telepathy of the two of them from the lab transferred now between them and the research in front of them.

“If the neurons send electrical signals-” Viktor points to confirm on a highlighted section in the book.

“And the leg is coded to read the signals-” Jayce continues, grabbing Viktor’s prototype sketch.

“And the contractions of the muscles also produce electricity-” Viktor frantically flips through the book again to find the corresponding page he’s committed to memory.

“Then the body and the leg-”

“Speak the same language.” Viktor finishes and leans back, breathing hard. He can’t believe it. How didn’t he see it before?

Jayce is also buzzing with adrenaline; Viktor can see his hands shaking by his side.

“This is-” Viktor gasps, still in shock, “holy shit, Jayce, we're talking about the brain controlling a bionic limb. I mean- this is applicable to- to- you could tell it to do anything just by thinking!”

“Viktor, you could make someone walk again.” Jayce whispers, his voice laced with awe.

“Jayce, I could make someone run. ” Viktor looks up at him with wide eyes.

He leaps out of bed- leg and spine twinging in protest- and flings the curtain aside to open the door to the balcony. Jayce looks shocked at the speed of Viktor, who usually moves so carefully, but he quickly follows him out into the cold open air.

Viktor leans forward on the balcony, gasping for breath but smiling as the feeling bubbling in his chest hits him with the best high a scientist could ever feel.

“Eureka!” He shouts out at the city, voice echoing over the skyscrapers and all the way out to the ships in the harbor.

Jayce joins him by his side and grabs the railing, “Eureka!” He yells even louder than Viktor, the echoes mixing together in the night.

A few stragglers from the competition down below cheer and clap, knowing the implications of their celebratory call. The pair laugh and cheer back.

Viktor turns to Jayce who’s already looking at him with the expression of pure, unbridled admiration.

He can’t believe he didn’t see it before; it’s always been there. The staring that bores holes in Viktor’s back at the lab; the constant questions and simple check-ins at the end of a long day. The way Jayce instantly moves to steady Viktor at the slightest wobble. The food, the coffees, the pleased look on his face when Viktor says he likes the flavor of the day.

The evidence he’d collected from the beginning is still there, Viktor just became so biased with insecurity he couldn’t draw the right conclusions staring him in the face.

Last thing left is to test the theory.

Viktor grabs the collar of Jayce’s shirt and pulls him down into a kiss.

It doesn’t feel like a first kiss at all. Jayce leans into it instantly with no shock or surprise. It’s a kiss that feels like a hundredth kiss, a thousandth kiss, a motion they’ve been through before so many times that it's committed to muscle memory.

Maybe if he had kissed Jayce sooner, he would’ve figured out the answer to the prototype quandary then, because he can feel it- the electricity coursing through his whole body. He imagines every muscle fiber, every nerve in his body alight with it. Imaginary sparks shoot out from all directions, like the clash of a forge hammer coming down on hot metal.

To kiss Jayce Talis is to be struck by lightning and become a conductor of massive voltage.

When he finally pulls away just slightly, Jayce holds him there with his hands resting on the small of Viktor’s back.

“Eureka.” Jayce whispers, breathless, lips brushing against Viktor’s.

Viktor melts in his arms at that and pulls him in once again.

They stay like that for a while, embracing each other in the cold nighttime air, but Viktor barely feels it in the warmth of Jayce against him.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while.” Viktor mumbles between kisses.

“I think I have too.” Jayce responds, and it sends a pleased shudder up Viktor’s spine.

Jayce wanted to kiss Viktor. Jayce is kissing Viktor.

“Can I-” Jayce starts but bites his lip, and Viktor leans back slightly to read his expression.

“Hm?” Viktor hums, appreciating the blush spreading over Jayce’s face and the subtle part of his lips.

“I don’t know how to ask this without it coming out wrong but-” He hesitates, “Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

Viktor smiles, tracing the side of Jayce’s jaw down to his chin, “Only if you hold me like you did on that day you helped me home.”

Viktor has dreamt of that more than he’s willing to admit.

Jayce nods and even though he’s significantly taller, he feels small to Viktor in this moment. There’s something shy and unsure about his demeanour that makes Viktor’s heart swell.

Just like the kiss, the way they slot together amongst the sheets is like muscle memory from a past life. Viktor lays his head on Jayce’s smooth shoulder (Viktor keeps his shirt on, thank you very much, because he’s not sure if he’s ready to be that exposed yet) and Jayce’s arms engulf his body into a cocoon of warmth and the smell of minty toothpaste.

“Is this okay?” Jayce asks, rubbing circles with his finger along the pins in Viktor’s back through his shirt. “Just this? For now?”

“This,” Viktor sighs with content, “is perfect, Jayce. Just this.”

He can hear Jayce’s heart skip through his chest.

Viktor can’t remember the last person besides Jayce that he let hold him in this way, but it’s so easy to relax into. The level of comfort he feels despite it all being so new is surprising.

He also can’t remember the last time someone just wanted a kiss and nothing more. And here Jayce is, asking Viktor if it’s okay that they just cuddle in bed.

“You’re perfect.” Jayce whispers into the dark, so quiet Viktor almost doesn’t catch it.

Chapter Text

“You kissed me last night.” Jayce mumbles, weaving his hands into the soft strands of Viktor’s hair.

“Mm, I did.” Viktor hums, eyes still closed.

It’s morning, but early. The light from the window is still soft and fresh. Probably because for once, they fell asleep at a reasonable hour.

Jayce drags his gaze over the man draped across him. It feels natural, maybe even more natural than he’s felt with any woman he’s woken up with before. He feels bad for needing to compare but there’s an anxious voice in his mind screaming are you sure? Is this right? Are you confused?

There’s nothing confusing about it. Viktor is here in his arms and he’s beautiful and sleepy and perfect. And they kissed. Jayce enjoyed that part, which means he’s definitely not confused.

“You’re a good kisser.” Jayce says softly, taking one clump of dark hair and twirling it around his finger gently. Viktor’s hair is always somewhat wild despite his efforts to tame it. Jayce decides to add that to an ongoing list of his favorite things about Viktor.

     1. The way he kisses me

     2. The way his face looks so peaceful while he sleeps

     3. His hair

“Good?” Viktor asks, glancing up at Jayce with a devilish grin, “I happen to be great.”

     4. The way his accent is deeper and thicker when he first wakes up

“Or… so I’ve been told.” He adds.

The thought of other people kissing Viktor makes Jayce’s head spin. Even worse, other people kissing Viktor and making it known how much they’re enjoying themselves. Jayce feels a tinge of jealousy coil in his stomach, which he supposes is exactly what Viktor’s aim was with that statement.

     5. The way he knows my buttons and pushes them on purpose because he’s an absolute menace

Viktor begins to pepper small kisses onto Jayce’s shoulder. It’s nice, affectionate, and he feels a flutter in his chest at the fact that Viktor is here, in bed with him, kissing him like this. It almost feels like a dream.

Then Viktor’s mouth ghosts up his collar to his neck and the kisses become longer, more sensual, and Jayce’s heart pounds in his ears so loud he can hear the echoing thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump-

“Wait!” Jayce gasps, and Viktor whips his head up so fast Jayce swears his neck could snap with the force.

He’s looking at Jayce with wide, concerned eyes.

“Sorry-” Jayce chokes out, feeling incredibly guilty all of a sudden, “I didn’t mean to- um- I’m still a bit.. Nervous? I think?”

Viktor is analyzing, Jayce knows the look. Calculating what went wrong and methodically plotting the next course of action. 

     6. His eyes are golden. Who the fuck has golden eyes? Is he mortal?

The concerned expression fades into something more gentle.

“No, I’m sorry, that’s… expected. I was getting ahead of myself.” Viktor corrects, and does he always have to be a tactician about these things? Jayce feels like he knows his partner better than anybody but there’s still those expressions that are so unreadable it drives him insane.

Viktor shifts his hips slightly and winces.

“Shit-” Jayce releases his grip just slightly, “are you okay?”

Viktor laughs, “Let’s settle one thing.” He stretches and groans, reaching down to rub at his joints. “I have chronic pain. Yes, it’s like this every morning, sometimes worse. I will end up murdering you if you ask me if I’m okay every time.”

His voice is stern, but he’s smiling so Jayce hopes that means he hasn’t killed the mood.

“Okay.” He nods. He wants to do this right. He doesn’t want to scare Viktor away. “What can I do?”

Viktor pauses for a moment as if he hasn’t considered the answer to that question before.

“My meds on the nightstand. I need one pill from each bottle.” He instructs, nodding over to the pile next to some half-empty redbull cans.

This, Jayce can do. He likes actionable tasks. He likes to be useful.

He gathers all the pills in his hand and hands them to Viktor before wiggling out from under him and fetching a glass of water from the bathroom.

Viktor offers a still-sleepy smile and sits up in bed, stretching and then tossing back the pills with a gulp of water.

Viktor is so, so painfully beautiful in the morning.

     7. He is so, so painfully beautiful in the morning

Another wince of pain. Jayce bites his tongue because he knows Viktor is serious about the whole I-will-murder-you-if-you-ask-if-I’m-okay thing.

“Can you get the braces? Both of them, please.” Viktor requests next.

Jayce thinks that considering they were the subject of a very long and impressive thesis project, Viktor would take better care of his assistive equipment, but he seems to just leave them laying around for Jayce to trip over constantly. Absolute menace, he thinks again.

He picks them both up and brings them to the bed beside Viktor, who just looks up at Jayce and sighs.

“Next,” Viktor pinches the bridge of his nose, “I need you to put on a shirt.”

Jayce flashes him a quizzical expression.

“You’re extremely attractive, hence the kissing last night. Amongst other things.” Viktor clarifies, “And if we’re going to check out on time I need you to do me a favor and spare me the…” Viktor gestures in the general direction of Jayce’s torso, “musculature.”

“You want me to cover my… musculature?”

“Precisely.”

Viktor seems to pick up on Jayce’s heightened anxiety and does his best to defuse any tension during the drive home. It’s funny how he thought Viktor wasn’t much of a people person when they first met, because he’s actually very socially skilled. While he might not like most people, he seems to be good at understanding and reading them. Jayce figures that has something to do with his background- Viktor did always say he had to work hard to get into Piltover’s program, not just academically.

Jayce is usually the one to fill the silence between them, but this time around Viktor purposefully navigates the conversation in his direction. He talks about his pet cat, Rio, that died when he was a kid so he did a secret autopsy on him in the basement.

“You know they say that’s how serial killers are born, Viktor.” Jayce had said.

“It was already dead, Jayce.” Viktor had replied simply.

“That’s still creepy and disgusting.”

He also talks more about the old man neighbor that was his only friend, who apparently tried to sell him drugs in high school.

“He what?! ”

“Ha- yeah I didn’t see that coming either.” Viktor chuckles.

“You didn’t buy it, right?”

…

“Right?!”

Finally, they arrive back on the academy campus to the familiar patchwork architecture and cobblestone walkways. It feels weird to be back, even though it’s really only been less than 48 hours, but everything has changed.

Well, not really. It’s the same in so many ways. But the idea of returning to the lab and working alongside Viktor who kissed him last night makes him feel like things might be a little different. In a good way.

“Are you hungry?” Viktor asks, and Jayce really must seem nervous because he doesn’t think Viktor has ever been the first one to bring up food.

“Um, yeah I didn’t really eat much at the hotel and-”

“Do you wanna go to that cafe you’re always talking about?” Viktor asks casually, flicking a glance over at the driver’s side.

The cafe? The cafe Jayce has asked him to come to like a million times this semester and he always makes up some excuse to- oh. Oh.

Jayce parks the car and turns to Viktor, who’s folded up awkwardly in his seat fiddling with a loose screw on his cane. “Are you asking me on a date?”

Viktor raises his eyebrows. “Are you saying no?”

A date. A date with Viktor.

     19. The way he looks at me when he knows he has me in the palm of his hand, the bastard

“I could eat.” Jayce shrugs and bites his lip to hold back his smile.

The cafe is in an old historic building at the edge of campus. The inside is always packed with students, baristas calling out orders, and the heavenly scent of strong coffee and chai. If you’re able to get past the crowd at the front, there’s a creaky back door that leads back into a little brick-paved courtyard. There’s a smattering of mismatched tables and chairs with potted plants in chipped terracotta, making it look more like a neighborly yard sale than an actual business establishment.

It’s charming though, and a perfect date spot. Not as intimidating as a fancy restaurant, or dingy and dark like The Last Drop. It’s casual, which Jayce can handle. Just a casual date with his lab partner.

Jayce orders Viktor’s coffee for him, with pumpkin and cinnamon, just the way he knows he likes it. They also get sandwiches and pastries, because no Viktor, you can’t just have coffee for lunch.

When the sandwiches are brought to the table, the bread is fresh and dusted with a layer of flour. A sandwich on fresh bread is like, top tier food, in Jayce’s opinion. There’s also some cute little tarts with strawberries and lemon curd. Considering Viktor’s diet consists of caffeine, weed, and Chinese takeout, this is probably considered a fine dining experience for him.

Jayce takes a massive bite out of the sandwich, and then he remembers he’s on a date so he focuses on chewing without looking like a starved animal. He looks up at the man sitting across from him, who’s looking upsettingly beautiful without showing a hint of nerves, and he is way out of his depth here.

He’s watching Jayce, like he’s waiting to spring a trap.

“So… are you ready to talk about it yet?” Viktor asks slowly, stirring extra sugar into his coffee.

The way his voice hits every consonant so sharply scratches a part of Jayce’s brain that makes him see stars. Then he realizes the weight of the question.

“The- the kiss?” Jayce asks, wondering where this is going.

Was it bad? Did he do something wrong? Did he miss a hint somewhere?

“Your sexuality.” Viktor replies calmly.

Jayce wasn’t expecting that one. 

But he already came out to Caitlyn right? He can talk about this. This isn’t the end of the world.

“My sexuality.” He repeats, swallowing hard because suddenly his mouth is so dry.

“You were dating Mel. You kissed me. So I assume that means… bisexual? If I had to guess?” Viktor concludes.

Shit. Is he? Should he have decided this before going and kissing his lab partner?

“Um, I think so.” Jayce nods and scrunches his face together.

“You think - so this is new?” There’s a hint of curiosity in Viktor’s tone now.

“It’s- you could say that.”

If Jayce hadn't spent the last semester in close quarters with this man, analyzing his every move, every quirk, he wouldn’t have caught it. The small, devious flash in Viktor’s eyes and the twitch at the corner of his mouth that say I have you right where I want you, and you’ll never escape now.

Viktor takes a sip of the coffee, pretending to contemplate the new information. Jayce knows he’s not. He knows when his partner is crunching numbers in his head. Viktor isn’t, because Viktor is a smart man and Viktor knows when he has the upper hand.

“So you’ve never had sex with a man?”

Jayce chokes on his coffee and begins a fit of coughing. A woman at the table near them startles and turns around and Jayce has to give her a thumbs up amidst the coughing to communicate that he’s fine when he is so not fine. Very far from fine.

Viktor is still looking at him expecting an answer.

God, they’re in public. How is he able to talk about this so casually?

“No.” Jayce scoots his chair up and clears his throat. “No, I- I’m still kinda figuring this out.”

“Because of me?” Viktor smirks into the coffee cup.

Jayce could kill him. He had no idea his lab partner was capable of this kind of psychological warfare. Well, maybe he did but this is a whole new level. 

“Yeah, you could say that.” Jayce breathes.

“Is that something you want, then?”

“What?”

“Sex, Jayce.”

“Oh-” Jayce nods before he even thinks about his answer, “yeah… yeah, I want that.”

“Well then, you have quite a lot of experimenting to do.” Viktor picks up one of the miniature tarts and examines it, “Which, I certainly don’t mind being a collaborator on. It can take a few tries to figure out what you like, and clearly you're nervous, so we can take all the time you need.”

“And what do you like?” Jayce blurts out as the thought enters his mind. So much for taking their time.

Viktor raises an amused eyebrow, “I like you, idiot. But if you’re curious about my sexual preferences, I enjoy a bit more, eh, control? As one would put it.”

Woah, that sends a surprisingly good sensation down the column of Jayce’s spine. 

“Can you…?” Jayce glances at the cane leaning against the table. Viktor picks up on the implications instantly.

“You’d be surprised. It’s really just the knees that cause problems for certain, eh… positions , and the equipment I come with makes the undressing a bit tedious.”

Jayce eyes the smaller man across from him curiously. He’s at least half a foot shorter when they’re standing up, and admittedly quite frail, though he'll get a smack to the leg with a certain cane if he ever comments on that out loud. Jayce is stronger and much larger without contest.

So why does the idea of Viktor being the one calling the shots make Jayce feel like his legs might give out the second he tries to stand from his chair?

“-if you’re not ready, okay?”

Shit, Jayce missed half of that. He was way too busy reconsidering every sexual experience he’s ever imagined having with this person.

“Sorry?” Jayce asks, and Viktor laughs.

“In short, I was inviting you to my place.” Viktor repeats, putting his coffee down, “If that’s something you want.”

Chapter Text

When Jayce enters Viktor’s apartment for the second time, it still feels like the first. Although there’s a hint of familiarity, the circumstances are completely different.

He allows himself to truly take in the space, no longer dialed in on Viktor’s pain and the urgency of the previous encounter. There’s so much he missed- the record player in the corner with a toppling stack of vinyl on the floor next to it, a handmade garland of hospital bracelets hanging above the bookshelf, a small collection of trophies above the fridge. 

Viktor begins moving things off the coffee table, but it’s piled-high with junk and his efforts don’t make much of a difference.

“Uh- I apologize. I’m not really a particularly tidy person.” Viktor cringes, surveying the mess of books, scribbles, and spare parts that cover almost every surface of the room, including the floor.

“I know.” Jayce laughs, “I share a lab with you, dumbass.”

Viktor adjusts the leaning stack on vinyl with his cane and then pushes a stray cardigan under the couch.

“I’ll have you know I was top of my class, so be careful who you’re calling dumbass.” Viktor flicks a medal hanging from a loose nail on the bookshelf, “And I had a three-year winning streak at the district science fair.” The medal falls and Viktor just huffs and kicks it aside.

“Didn’t realize I was in the presence of such fine company.” Jayce replies, scanning the paintings hung crooked on the walls.

There’s a simple “V” scratched into the corner of several of them.

“I’m very fine company, actually. Just maybe a lackluster host.” Viktor winces again when he spots a bowl next to the couch that might’ve been cereal at some point.

“Did you paint these?” Jayce asks, tracing the careful brushstrokes with his eyes. He already knows the answer. They’re so methodical despite their hasted, almost manic motions.

“I told you I took art electives.” Viktor shrugs, “Helped with anatomy classes. And all the blueprints.”

Jayce smirks over his shoulder back at Viktor, “So you’re good with anatomy?”

“Ha-“ Viktor looks amused and there’s a hint of pink blossoming against the pale contours of his face. “You could say that.”

Jayce takes the win. Viktor isn’t easily flustered.

“You can sit- I have to tend to uh,” He taps his brace

“Do you need help?” Jayce asks.

Viktor just waves a hand dismissively and disappears into the bedroom.

Bastard. 

Jayce sits on the couch, which is remarkably horrible- he can actually feel the springs inside stabbing at the back of his legs.

He glances up at the string of hospital bracelets. As he starts to count them, he realizes Viktor has maybe been to the hospital for every year of his life, maybe more. The fact that he’s kept them all this time shows he might be more sentimental than he lets on. Jayce smiles softly to himself at the idea.

The sketches on the coffee table include doodles of limbs with labeled parts, some muscle, some mechanical, and Jayce figures they must be prototype ideas. There’s a couple others that include his own tattoos with extensions of the runes down his arm and up his neck. He must be planning to keep adding to it.

A couple more minutes, and he can’t bear to sit on the deeply uncomfortable couch cushions any longer.

“You okay in there?” Jayce raises his voice to carry into the bedroom where Viktor is supposedly partaking in some sort of leg-related ritual Jayce has not had permission to be present for.

No answer. 

Not surprising. Viktor is predictable in his incredible stubbornness.

“I think this awful couch is contributing to that chronic pain of yours!” Jayce shouts louder.

Is he allowed to joke about that? Maybe not yet. Too far.

Still no answer. 

Now Jayce is afraid he’s offended him, and he knows he should just wait but his leg starts to bounce nervously.

He stands, hesitating before moving to the bedroom door that’s left slightly ajar.

“Hey, V? You okay?”

A groan in response.

“Can I come in?” Jayce asks, rocking up onto the balls of his feet and back down.

It’s quiet at first, but then he hears a muffled voice from inside. 

“Fuck, sure.” He thinks it says.

Jayce pushes the door to reveal the inside of the bedroom, where Viktor is laying in bed with his arms folded over his face. His leg brace is discarded on the floor beside him.

“Please don’t fucking ask if I’m okay.” He mumbles from behind his arms.

As Jayce approaches to sit on the end of the bed, he notices the rise and fall of Viktor’s chest as he’s taking deep, intentional breaths.

“Can I ask what it is?” Jayce says after a moment.

“Flare up. Tends to happen when it’s most inconvenient. It’ll be over soon.” Viktor says through gritted teeth.

“It’s not inconvenient.” Jayce shrugs.

He needs to hide his worry, because Viktor has been around enough people that over-sympathize. Jayce should know, he has to hear the complaints about it from his lab partner almost daily. 

When people give me that look I want to punch them , Viktor had said one day upon entering the lab and throwing his scarf across the room in annoyance. That sorry-ass look. Like my life is so fucking unimaginably sad to them.

“I would’ve liked for you to be in my bedroom for different reasons, Jayce.” Viktor says flatly.

Only Viktor could make a sex joke when in immense amounts of pain.

“Would it help if I um, held you? Like last time?”

Jayce wants to help, but he doesn’t know what exactly the boundaries are between the two of them yet. Obviously the kissing means there’s something but it’s only been a day and this feels somehow way more intimate.

“Yeah.” Viktor nods.

Jayce lets out the air he was holding in his lungs. “Do you want the back brace off?” he asks, trying not to think about the implications of needing to undress the man in order to do that.

Viktor hesitates on that one, but eventually pulls his arms away from his face and nods, “Fuck, okay yeah. But no funny business, Talis.”

Jayce chuckles and scoots forward to lift the hem of Viktor’s shirt over his head. It once again reveals the beautiful ink spreading across one side of his body and Jayce has to fight the urge to kiss every inch of it.

He works on the buckles of the back brace carefully, taking the time to memorize the order and how the pieces all fit and hold Viktor together. He didn’t get to appreciate the genius of it the first time, but everything is so intentional and smart that it almost takes his breath away. Viktor’s work, as always, is flawless.

Viktor is quiet during the process, still focused on the depth of his breaths. He occasionally winces, and Jayce pauses each time just to be sure it’s not his fault. The idea of hurting Viktor sends pangs of aching in his chest.

When it’s finally off, Jayce turns him on his side and tucks in behind, wrapping his arms around his waist and planting a kiss in his hair. Viktor hums and relaxes into it.

“This is okay?” Jayce whispers.

“This is okay.” Viktor whispers back.

///

When Viktor wakes up, it’s pitch black outside.

Jayce’s arms are wrapped tightly around his body with his chest pressed firmly against Viktor’s back. It makes him want to melt, like butter spread across warm bread.

Viktor has never let himself be held like this. He was never opposed to his past partners staying the night, but to be held and cared for was something that always sent Viktor into a bitter mood. 

It just always seemed that everyone wanted to piece Viktor back together. To help him, to care for him, as if he isn’t fully capable of caring for himself.

There’s something about Jayce though, that’s naturally comforting. Viktor’s body seems to react on its own to Jayce’s touch, and it feels good .

In fact, it feels almost too good. Jayce’s hands on his bare skin, his warm body pressed against him, it’s all making Viktor’s heart pound like a hammer against his sternum.

When Jayce shifts in his sleep, Viktor’s body goes stiff at the feeling of something all too familiar but all so new pressing against the back of his thigh.

He feels like the wind is knocked out of him as he inhales with a shaky breath.

“Jayce?”

“Hm?”

“You awake?”

Viktor’s face goes red at the sound of his own voice coming out choked.

“Mhm.”

Jayce shifts again, and yeah , that’s definitely what that is.

Holy fuck .

“ Jayce .” Viktor whispers again, more insistent this time.

Jayce’s grip tightens, fingers digging into the soft skin of Viktor’s stomach-

-and he fucking rolls his hips.

Viktor gasps and shoulders Jayce aggressively, pushing away on instinct as the other man startles awake.

They both turn quickly onto their backs, laying beside each other and breathing heavily in the thick of the silence between them. It’s a long while before either of them makes a sound.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t-“

“It’s fine.” Viktor interrupts quickly.

He doesn’t dare look at Jayce. The ceiling becomes particularly interesting- he traces the edges of a large yellowing stain blooming above the bed. He should probably be concerned about that.

“Do you want me to leave?” Jayce asks softly.

“What?” Viktor props himself up on his elbows and finally brings himself to glance over at Jayce to shoot him an incredulous expression. “No, I- no. I don’t want you to leave, why would you…?

His voice trails off when he registers that Jayce looks absolutely mortified. He’s laying there with his eyes closed and jaw clenched, and Viktor’s sure if it weren’t so dark he would be able to see the patches of flushed skin searing across his face.

“Jayce,” Viktor drops his voice purposefully and rolls so that his body now leans halfway across Jayce’s torso, “I didn’t want you to stop, I wanted you to be awake.”

He takes a hand, daring, and traces down the flat plane of the man’s broad chest. Jayce’s breath hitches instantly at the simple touch.

“Tell me when to stop.” Viktor whispers against Jayce’s neck.

He lets his hand travel down, tracing his fingers along every rib, as if to count them all. His mind subconsciously pictures everything within like an anatomy diagram: the lungs inflating and deflating with every nervous breath, the expansion of the inner costal muscles between the ribs, the network of veins pulsing with hot blood from the overdrive engine of his heart.

Viktor’s hand moves along the cut of Jayce’s waist and across to dance along the v-line of his hips. The angles of his body, all sharp lines against soft skin, and Jayce’s skin jumping and twitching with the movement almost make Viktor salivate with arousal.

“Tell me to stop.” Viktor whispers again, while his body screams please don’t please don’t please don’t. I want it.

Viktor leans away just slightly to check Jayce’s face for confirmation. 

He sees the man’s eyes locked downwards at Viktor’s hand, pupils wide with wanting. He flicks his gaze to meet Viktor’s briefly before squeezing them shut again and giving one slow nod. It’s the permission Viktor needed.

“Tell me,” Viktor tilts his head upwards to let his lips brush the bottom of Jayce’s ear, “to stop.”

With that, he skillfully hooks a finger into the waistband of his partner’s pants and uses his thumb to maneuver the button open one-handed. It releases and allows for Viktor to shift his shoulder and slide a hand underneath.

The moan that leaves Jayce’s lips hits Viktor like a sweet high, swirling in his mind and clouding his thoughts like cream in coffee. He wants to hear Jayce make that sound again and again and again.

This part has always been a favorite of Viktor’s. The first touches, hesitant and fleeting, to figure out what makes the other tick. A mind game, a puzzle where every piece is a twist of a wrist or stroke of a thumb that’s answered with a sound or a twitch that says yes, more .

It feels good, but also equally terrifying, knowing Jayce has never been touched like this by a man. There’s a sense of pride, even smugness, at that fact but also a deep responsibility to take care of Jayce, to make him feel safe and seen and comfortable.

The complexity of those feelings are soon chased away by the increasing pants of Jayce beside him and Viktor’s own wanting, no, needing to bring him to the edge and over.

It’s messy and awkward, as Viktor’s arm aches with the odd angle of his wrist and he shifts his weight to the opposite elbow underneath him. Jayce whines at the brief pause and then laughs at himself, wiping sweat from his forehead. Viktor chuckles too, as they wordlessly chase the pleasure.

He knows when it’s close, and learns Jayce’s tells instantly- curling toes, rigid abdomen, and then yes , a final desperate gasp as Viktor finally brings him over the edge and into the blissful, shaking abyss.

He can’t help but grin into the crook of Jayce’s neck, slick with sweat, as he listens to the breaths slow and regulate as Jayce comes back down from the high.

“You were supposed to tell me to stop.” Viktor teases.

“I didn’t-” Jayce’s voice cracks and he clears his throat, laughing, “Ha, fuck- I didn’t want you to.”

“I know.” Viktor kisses Jayce’s shoulder and sits up to grab the box of tissues from the nightstand.

They clean up to their best ability, because neither of them want to leave the comfort of the bed (Viktor uses his leg as an excuse but Jayce bashfully admits he doesn’t think he can stand and that’s honestly very fair).

When they settle back under the blankets, Jayce immediately shoots back up in a panic.

“Oh fuck, do you-?”

“No, no trust me that was good-”

“Oh my god I’m an asshole-”

“No, Jayce we can just-”

Viktor and Jayce lock eyes for a moment in their panicked babbling and then, suddenly, both burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of the subject.

“You can get me back later, how about that?” Viktor pulls Jayce back down to settle in his arms once again.

“Yeah, yeah I can do that.” Jayce sighs and nuzzles Viktor’s hair sleepily. It’s adorable.

They both sigh and melt into each other easily, like they’ve slept in this position every night for their entire lives.

“That was okay, yeah?” Viktor says, quieter.

There’s a part of him still nervous to be the catalyst of Jayce’s self-discovery.

“Yeah, yeah that was-” Jayce rubs his hand over his face, “really good. You’ve got nice, uh, hands.”

Viktor reaches up to stroke the line of Jayce’s jaw affectionately.

“I can do a lot more with them, if you’d like me to.” he teases.

“Jesus, mercy. It hasn’t even been five minutes, V.” Jayce groans, and Viktor loves how easy it is to make Jayce fluster this way.

He thinks of a thousand comebacks that could escalate the situation, but he’s still not sure what Jayce is ready for at this point. Instead, he uses the hand of Jayce’s jaw to turn his head and join their lips into a simple kiss.

“Night, Jayce.” He murmurs, sighing into the smell of Jayce’s sweat and leftover teakwood deodorant.

“Night, V.” Jayce kisses him again, and then on the forehead for good measure.

Sleep comes easy.

Chapter Text

It feels like ages since they’ve been back in the lab, when in reality it’s been only two days. It’s just as they left it- coffee maker perched on a stack of textbooks and blank spaces on the walls where Viktor had ripped off posters to stuff in his backpack before the trip.

Instead of arriving and finding Viktor already hunched over his desk, they enter the lab side by side, shoulders almost brushing against each other with comfortable closeness.

Instead of humming to himself during the elevator ride, Viktor was backing him into the button panel and kissing him with his fingers hooked around Jayce’s belt loop.

Instead of walking alone in the cold from his apartment, he happily listened to Viktor rant about the supplies they’ll need to get for the bionic leg prototype on the shorter walk from his place.

And of course, Jayce’s favorite change, he woke up in Viktor’s bed this morning.

Nothing in the world is more beautiful than Viktor’s bare, mole-dotted body illuminated by streaks of morning light cutting in from between the blinds.

“Coffee.” Viktor points to the machine and collapses into his desk chair.

“On it.” Jayce begins the familiar routine.

The machine hums to life and he finds a clean-ish mug to place under the drip.

“God it’s so slow. ” Viktor groans, leaning his whole upper body onto the desk with his arms extended dramatically.

“So impatient. It’s been five seconds, V.” Jayce chuckles and rolls his eyes.

Viktor smiles with the side of his face pressed to the desk. Jayce would happily make a thousand cups of coffee every morning to see him smile like that. It’s a rare, bashful expression that creeps up when Viktor is trying to be grumpy and failing.

When the coffee is ready, Jayce delivers the steaming mug to Viktor’s desk, and pauses in front of him. Viktor stands to cradle it, fingers brushing against Jayce’s with little sparks of electricity.

“Can I kiss you?” Jayce asks, because he can’t help it- all he would have to do is close the small gap with a single step.

“So polite. You’re making what I did in the elevator seem very ungentlemanlike,” Viktor smirks.

Jayce takes the step, tilting Viktor’s chin up so their lips can meet. It’s simple, and they both smile against it. He can smell the coffee wafting up between them and feel the heat of the steam.

“Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to do that when I bring you coffee?” Jayce says against Viktor’s lips.

“Mm, you should do it more. I think I’ll need another cup in a few minutes.” Viktor mumbles between kisses.

Jayce reaches for the mug to place it on the desk and deepen the kiss, but Viktor steps back, holding the mug to his chest with both hands, “Don’t you dare. Coffee first.”

“You have a problem.”

“I have several problems, Jayce, the caffeine addiction is quite low on the list.”

“Ah fuck you, the leg card again.” Jayce huffs playfully and wanders back to his own desk.

“The leg card got us front row seats to almost every presentation at the innovator’s competition. You wish you were as cool as me.” Viktor says as he begins to fill out his morning to-do list (that he will make and then forget about under the blueprints within the hour).

They get to work, actual work, because Jayce quickly discovers Viktor has no patience for affection while he’s focused. When he calls Jayce over to help with some theoretical mechanisms in the ankle joint, he’s being serious, because he scoffs when Jayce leans in for another kiss.

They end up working on the prototype blueprint the whole morning after Jayce all but completely abandons his own research. He ends up rolling his desk chair across the room so they can sit across from each other at Viktor’s desk.

It’s when they're both standing in front of the chalkboard that Viktor finally breaks.

One minute he’s composed, focused, and then like the flip of a switch, he spins Jayce and presses his back to the chalkboard, cane clattering to the floor. One hand is on his chest and the other moves over Jayce’s wrist, gently holding it to the board beside their hips. Jayce could easily break from the hold- Viktor’s barely applying pressure- but the intimidation tactic works enough that Jayce wouldn’t dare move.

“Lunch break?” Viktor breathes, eyes suddenly dark with a desire he must’ve been holding back for quite some time.

“Since when do you ever take lunch breaks?” Jayce teases.

“Since I’ve had a taste of my lab partner that’s quickly turning into a craving.” Viktor’s eyes are fixated on Jayce’s mouth as he says it.

Jayce leans in and kisses his partner with a new hunger, a need, to take as much as he can. Viktor’s tongue licks at the roof of Jayce’s mouth and he can’t help but moan at the slick, delicious heat.

“It’s infuriating how much your genius ideas turn me on.” Viktor mumbles into his mouth, almost annoyed, “It makes- mm, it makes working with you extremely challenging.”

Jayce can’t even think of a sly response, fully enjoying the skill of Viktor’s tongue and the small bites against his bottom lip. He’s still very aware of the fingers pressing his wrist against the board, which is almost driving him crazier than the intensity of the kiss.

Viktor uses his other hand to tug at the strings on Jayce’s hoodie and press their bodies together, and god , Jayce feels himself slip into that headspace where he would do anything Viktor wanted him to without hesitation.

“V, fuck-” Jayce’s breath hitches.

“Use the pet name sparingly Jayce, it drives me fucking crazy.” Viktor admits, kissing down the side of Jayce’s jaw. The lilt of his accent and the way it sounds even thicker in these moments is incredibly addictive.

Jayce moans softly as Viktor moves to lick a long stripe up the side of his neck, and then something hits the floor and makes them both jump, shaken from the daze of pleasure.

“Holy fuck , you guys.” Vi blurts out from the doorway, a wide grin on her face. Caitlyn’s close behind, face shocked with a fierce blush. There’s a large paper bag on the floor that must’ve been the sound that had initially startled them.

“We brought bagels.” Caitlyn awkwardly points to the bag.

Viktor’s still holding Jayce’s hoodie strings and they both stare, frozen in place, at the two women standing stunned in the doorway.

Vi points at Viktor, “ This is why you didn’t text me back all weekend?” she accuses, amused.

Viktor swallows.

“That would be correct.” He states plainly.

“Well fucking finally, geez.” Vi grabs the bag and plops herself in one of the desk chairs, beginning to unpack the food.

Viktor releases his grip and brushes himself off, offering a nervous laugh as he hops up to sit on the edge of the desk. Jayce is slower to recover, still leaning against the chalkboard catching his breath.

Caitlyn smiles at him and gives a little thumbs up as she snatches a bagel from the bag.

“Wait so… you knew?” He furrows his brow at Vi, who look so fucking pleased with the situation she’s walked into.

“I’ve known for like, two months Jayce. Longer than you.” She glances at Viktor, who is glaring at her intensely.

He starts to put it together.

“But that means-”

“Actually, Jayce, I don’t think it matters.” Viktor interrupts.

Vi elbows him and turns to Jayce, “He’s been pathetically pining over you all semester. You were busy being an idiot.”

Jayce feels his face grow hot again.

Caitlyn gasps, insulted, “You’ve known about this all semester and didn’t tell me?”

“Oooh, the girls are fighting.” Viktor quips.

“You told me not to tell her!”

“I said nothing of the sort.”

“Liar!”

“Okay, okay, don’t kill him please.” Jayce begs, moving over to where Viktor is seated and places a protective hand on his shoulder. Viktor smiles deviously into his second mug of coffee.

“Oh my god, I knew you were going to be this insufferable.” Vi rolls her eyes, spreading cream cheese on her bagel aggressively.

“What she means to say,” Caitlyn corrects with a soft smile, “is that we’re happy for you.”

They eat crowded around the desk as the boys tell stories about all the inventions at the competition and the girls ask a million questions. Viktor narrows his eyes at Vi’s more abrasive inquiries about things Jayce is pretty sure he shouldn’t disclose, and he has to check his partner’s expressions frequently as he recounts the events of the weekend.

“Your friend from Kirammen built a working hoverboard.” Viktor says with his mouth full, another attempt to steer the conversation back to more scientific matters.

“Didn’t you wear that hoodie on Friday when you left for the competition?” Caitlyn asks Jayce, and he knows exactly what she’s implying.

“I uh, have to do laundry.” He answers, glancing at Viktor who nods to himself.

“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” Vi snorts, and Viktor chokes on his coffee.

When they finally finish and gather the trash, leaving only a couple grease stains on Viktor’s notes, Cait and Vi seem satisfied with their initial interrogation.

They insist the boys “get work done” (a wink from Vi) and as quickly as they appeared, they disappear around the corner and the lab is once again filled with silence.

“That was painful.” Viktor remarks, hopping down from the desk. “Also, you’re eh, covered in chalk.”

Jayce quickly brushes himself down, but judging by Viktor’s amused chuckle it’s not doing much.

“Here, idiot, let me help-” he ruffles the back of Jayce’s hair and then pats it back down to fix it into its usual place.

Jayce hums at the feeling of Viktor’s hands in his hair.

“You’re like a dog.” Viktor rolls his eyes.

Then- he grabs and yanks.

“Ah-!” Jayce gasps and it comes out more like a moan than he intended.

Viktor moves in front of Jayce, analyzing as usual.

“What was that for?” Jayce rubs at the back of his head.

“Just curiosity. You seemed to like it.” Viktor shrugs his crooked shoulders.

“I-” Jayce thinks about that for a moment.

“What, you’re telling me girls have never pulled your hair before?” Viktor asks, slightly amused.

“Well- I mean-” Jayce stutters, “I’m usually the one uh, pulling. I guess.”

“Ah, I see.” Viktor nods, and Jayce can almost see the quick calculations running through his head. “Well, I guess I don’t mind that.”

Jayce blinks back the mental image of tugging at Viktor’s hair and how he might react to that.

“I have a proposition.”

“Hm?” Jayce raises his eyebrows.

“Are you up for some experimenting?”

Jayce realizes when they’re halfway to his place that Viktor has never been there before. It makes his palms sweat and he frantically tries to remember what state he left it in. Gosh, he hasn’t been home since before the competition.

They could’ve taken the trolley to avoid the longer walk, but even though the “out of service” sign was missing they had both unanimously agreed not to ever trust it again after the last incident.

It’s still baffling to Jayce how calm Viktor is, no hint of nerves, after inviting himself to Jayce’s place for potentially sexual activities. While Jayce feels like his heart could beat out of his chest, Viktor walks with the same relaxed pace. With every tap of his cane against the cobblestone, Jayce feels his anxious nausea building up in his throat.

Viktor is the picture of cool and collected, a bulky wool-lined denim jacket hanging from his shoulders and a graphic tee underneath. It says “Fortiche” on it, which Viktor explained earlier is some french company and Jayce probably tuned out and imagined kissing him because he can’t remember exactly what it was.

His ears and nose are tinged red from the cold and the wind is blowing all of his hair into his face, but he makes it look good. He makes everything look good.

“That’s my building, right there.” Jayce points ahead, trying not to sound too excited.

“Fucking finally. My ears are numb.” Viktor laughs.

When Jayce opens the front door, they’re hit with a burst of warmth from the inside lobby, instantly soothing the tips of their frozen noses and knuckles.

It’s a simple space, pretty bare-bones as most off-campus housing is on this side of town. There’s a little clear water dispenser with a stack of cups, a worn rug leading down the hall, and a particularly droopy potted plant by the front desk.

“I’m just down the hall here.” Jayce nods forward.

He stops at his door and fumbles with the keys, hand shaking, but Viktor pretends not to notice.

When they enter, they’re met with an apartment that’s only half the mess that Viktor’s is. Jayce silently thanks his past self for doing laundry and not leaving any old food out on the kitchen counters.

He’s never tried to see the apartment through someone else’s eyes before, but he’s now hyper aware of his partner’s eyes darting from one tiny detail to the next. There’s gaming consoles with a mess of wires on the floor under the TV, and framed photos of him and his mom on the side table next to the couch. 

A mug sits on the coffee table reading “ if at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so that your failure is statistically significant” . Jayce is thankful it’s not the worst of his science-joke mugs that are hiding behind the cabinet door above the toaster.

He looks over at Viktor, who’s shrugging his jacket off and hanging it on one of the hooks by the door. Jayce admittedly loves seeing Viktor integrate himself into his space instantly with a level of comfort that couples of several years have.

Couples. Are they a couple? Jayce should probably get some clarification on that.

“Well, what do you do with the girls, then?” Viktor smirks and leans against the entryway, like he’s waiting for something.

“Oh-” Jayce is usually so much smoother than this, “um, my bedroom is around that corner there.”

Viktor raises his eyebrows, unimpressed, “That’s your line?

Jayce’s mind is racing, too flustered to think of something clever. Why does Viktor always make him like this? He’s usually way better than this.

“No! No, I just-” He scratches the back of his head nervously, “I mean, you wanted to do some experimenting, yeah?”

“Please shut up, you’re making it worse.” Viktor rolls his eyes and moves around the corner towards the bedroom door.

“Yeah I’ll just- yeah.” Jayce follows.

This time Viktor doesn’t go straight for the buckles of his leg brace, he just sits on the bed and waits for Jayce to approach and undo the latches himself. It’s a unique level of intimacy that makes Jayce’s heart skip just a little.

“I could get used to you doing this for me, y’know.” Viktor comments.

Jayce knows that even though he says it as a passing thought, everything Viktor says is calculated and intentional. The affection behind it is real and vulnerable.

“I like it, in a way.” Jayce says, removing the brace and placing it next to the nightstand.

“That’s a gross fetish to have, Jayce.” Viktor scoffs playfully.

“Shut up.” Jayce leans in and kisses him, avoiding whatever clever retaliation is coming for him.

The kiss quickly picks up where they left off in the lab. It’s messy and desperate and Jayce wonders why the fuck Viktor is getting a biomedical engineering PhD when he clearly has enough knowledge and skill in this department to be considered an expert in the field of kissing.

“You ready for the first experiment?” Viktor asks, breathless.

“First? I thought last night was the first.” Jayce pulls back.

“A mere warm up. I mean actual experimenting. Things you haven’t done before.” Viktor clarifies.

It’s hard to focus when Viktor’s already breathless and flushed, lips red from kissing.

“Like… what?” Jayce asks, trying to ignore the various images coming to mind.

“Well what do you want to try? It’s whatever you’re comfortable with.” Viktor leans back on his elbows.

How is he so patient when he was just kissing Jayce like he might starve without it?

He decides to throw Viktor’s own words back at him.

“Well what do you do with other guys?” Jayce asks, and it comes out less sexy than it originally sounded coming from the man on his bed.

Viktor laughs and looks genuinely endeared by the question.

“Well,” He tilts his head, “eh, I normally just tell people what to do. Gives me a little more control of the situation, which I tend to enjoy. But-”

“But?”

“I’m trying to be gentle. You seem nervous, Jayce.” Viktor explains.

Jayce considers his options. It seems ridiculous, being told what to do. He’s not completely in the dark about what’s supposed to happen here. He’s sure he could figure out the parts he’s less experienced with.

Then again, the idea of it does intrigue him enough to send a chill of arousal up his body.

“Okay just-” Jayce sucks in a breath, “try it. Tell me.”

Viktor raises one eyebrow, then looks Jayce up and down. His facial expressions flash from surprise, to curiosity, to something darker and he sits back up.

“On your knees.” He says simply, surely a test.

Jayce drops instantly, barely giving it much thought.

Viktor smirks.

“Alright then, come here.”

Jayce moves forward to position himself in front of Viktor, who looks down and strokes a hand down the side of Jayce’s face. He naturally leans into it.

He’s not sure why, but something about it feels so good.

“Get these off,” Viktor taps the waistband of his pants, “careful with the leg.”

Jayce complies, removing them rather easily. His nerves have calmed to a dull simmer, and now that he has something to focus on and follow, it’s much easier to act. He’s starting to understand why some people like doing things this way.

When the pants are tossed aside, Jayce moves his hands to the hem of Viktor’s shirt, “This too?”

“Mhm, good.” Viktor nods and raises his arms as Jayce lifts the shirt up and over his head, “See? You’re a natural.”

Jayce blushes and begins to work on the back brace, taking a bit more time to make sure he gets the order of everything right. Viktor helps by loosening the shoulder strap and tapping at a piece in the back Jayce missed.

Once it’s off, Jayce leans in to kiss the newly exposed moles on Viktor’s stomach. He’ll have to revisit the tattoos later as they’re much too high up to reach from where he’s knelt on the floor.

“Take your time. Tell me if you want to stop.” Viktor hums.

This really isn’t so bad. In fact, it’s actually hot, having full access in this way. Jayce kisses down Viktor’s stomach, above his hips, then up his thighs, earning small sighs from above him.

It’s natural, the way he turns his head to mouth at Viktor over his underwear, who moans in response. Fuck, it’s a beautiful sound. He figures since he’s barely started, he’s thankfully going to hear a lot more of it.

“Good.” Viktor whispers, threading a hand into Jayce’s hair gently, “Really good.”

The way his blood rushes straight down below his waistband at the remark is something he will have to unpack later, because he really wants to focus on getting this right.

He’s not sure what he was so nervous about. He knows what this feels like, at least on the receiving end. It’s all just reverse-engineering at this point, which luckily he’s been studying for a long fucking time. Who knew grad school would contribute to future oral sex experimentation?

He must’ve been taking too much time because Viktor tugs a little on his hair and says, “Mind getting these off now, Jayce?”

Jayce blinks and realizes Viktor’s underwear is definitely just a hindrance now and needs to be discarded. If he wasn’t so caught up in getting this right, he might've come up with some way to tease his partner, who sounds like he’s genuinely struggling with the whole “cool and collected” demeanor he had put on just a few minutes ago.

There is, of course, a small moment of fear. Like somehow this is the act that means he’s truly gay and having a real sexuality crisis, and all the crushing and kissing and feelings didn’t count before this. Ridiculous.

He leans in and forgets the worry instantly.

On one hand, it’s easy. Since Viktor’s anatomy is similar to his own, it’s actually not hard to figure out what techniques work on the first try. 

On the other hand, he has to do a lot of multitasking. Keeping teeth out of way is a big issue, and harder than he thought it would be. There’s also whatever the fuck he’s supposed to do with his hands. And breathing. Don’t forget breathing.

Viktor is vocal, to absolutely no surprise. Jayce gets his wish of hearing more of his moans, as they only become more frequent and paired with little gasps and sighs that are equally delightful. He talks too, because of course he does. Mostly a slurred mixture of yes and so good and Jayce’s favorite, his own name from the man’s lips.

Jayce is so focused on getting more and more of those sounds to fill the space that he’s surprised when Viktor suddenly yanks him off by his hair in order to bring himself over the edge with his own hand. 

It’s art, like a renaissance painting, like a biblical depiction of beauty. Viktor twisting the bedsheets into his fist with his free hand, the muscles in his abdomen tensing, the parting of his lips to release a lovely gasp as his body reaches the summit of pleasure.

Then it’s over, and both of them sit there stunned, breathing heavily.

Jayce is admittedly thankful to be spared the responsibility of making the whole spit/swallow decision on the first go. Although he probably wouldn’t have minded.

“Fuck.” Viktor hisses and lays back, hitting the bed with a soft thud and granting Jayce one more moan of pleasure and exhaustion.

Jayce cleans him up, because after all he kind of owes him after last night, and then joins him on the bed.

“Are you kidding me?” Viktor asks, sounding completely wrecked. That does things to Jayce.

“What?” Jayce asks, and oh my god, he sounds even worse.

“You’ve never done that before?”

Jayce shakes his head and smiles proudly.

“Jesus.” Viktor stares back up at the ceiling, “I hate to break it to you Talis, but straight men don’t suck dick like that.”

Jayce laughs, “I enjoyed it, so definitely not straight.”

“I see.” Viktor eyes the tightness of Jayce’s pants, “Well, you’re way too clothed right now anyway so I’ll just-”

He sits up and begins unbuttoning Jayce’s pants as they both break into a fit of giggling.

Chapter Text

The days of the week blur together in a pattern of lab time, library trips, and crashing together at one of their apartments (usually Viktor’s since it’s a much shorter walk).

Viktor finds a spare toothbrush and pill case in Jayce’s bathroom on Thursday, conveniently left out on the right side of the sink for him. “Just in case,” Jayce had shrugged and smiled. He finds a mug in the cabinet reading “sorry, sometimes I go off on a tangent” with a corresponding graph, and claims it for his coffee in the morning.

At Viktor’s place, Jayce’s coat is draped over Viktor’s on the barstool. Jayce keeps asking to listen to Viktor’s record collection, so they’ve begun to work their way through it. Today, it’s Tame Impala, which Jayce is bobbing his head to as he washes the dishes.

“You like?” Viktor asks, hopping up on a barstool across from the sink to watch.

“Mhm,” Jayce nods, “it’s cool, you should play this in the lab.”

It’s not weird at all, having Jayce here in his space. Viktor’s always been particular about his alone time, but he’s already used to sharing most of his day in the lab with him, and this really isn’t much different.

He doesn’t feel the need to cover up either. When he’s alone, especially on the weekend, he’s in the habit of just wearing his braces and a pair of old boxer shorts. He’s sporting a similar look now as they lazily start their Saturday morning.

“We’ve got that holiday thing tonight at Cait’s place.” Jayce comments, picking at a particularly crusted spatula that Viktor hasn’t bothered to deal with in weeks.

Viktor groans, dropping his head to the counter, “No, I want you all to myself this weekend.”

Jayce laughs and reaches over to ruffle Viktor’s hair with a soapy hand.

“No! No, you heathen!” Viktor ducks away, pushing the suds away and laughing.

“You need a shower anyway.” Jayce rolls his eyes, “Especially after last night.”

“I need a bath.” Viktor sighs, hands absentmindedly moving to rub at the muscles in his leg.

Jayce turns off the sink and begins drying the last mug. “A bath?” He asks curiously.

“Yeah, I take baths. For the joints and all, y’know.” Viktor waves his hand dismissively.

“Shit, does it-” Jayce stops himself and curses under his breath, “Sorry, sorry. I’m working on that.”

It’s cute how hard he’s trying. Viktor’s not even annoyed when it’s Jayce asking about the leg.

“It’s not the worst, but yeah, it hurts. The bath with help.” He shrugs.

“It’s been… pretty bad lately, Viktor. I mean it’s not my business, it just seems like-”

“It’s a winter thing. The cold.” Viktor says quickly. 

It’s technically not a lie.

Technically.

The full truth though, is that Jayce is right. Viktor has missed several doctor’s appointments and he knows his team will be concerned about the episodes getting worse and more frequent. If Viktor tells Jayce though, he’ll be worried. And involved. And Viktor can’t handle Jayce being involved in that part of his life yet.

“Okay, I’ll draw a bath then. Eat this.” Jayce slides a plate of eggs and toast across the counter and wanders into the bathroom.

Viktor glances over at the hospital bracelets on display over the bookshelf. He’s caught Jayce looking at it a few times now, but Jayce never asks. He knows he’s curious, he just can’t figure out what he would even say about it.

There was a time Viktor didn’t even need the back brace. It wasn’t always this bad. The surgeries were supposed to help. But the fucked up leg just fucked up his back and everything is fucked up now. 

He really doesn’t want to add more hospital bracelets, but it’s inevitable. With Jayce in the picture, it’s even more complicated.

He can put it off longer. After the holidays, maybe. Next year.

Viktor hears the sound of the bathtub filling up and Jayce humming one of the Tame Impala songs from the bathroom. Jayce hums a lot. Viktor likes it.

He stands and moves to join Jayce in the bathroom.

“This stuff smells really good so I put it in the bath, I hope that’s okay.” As Viktor enters, Jayce hands him a bottle of herbal bath oil that he honestly forgot he had under the sink. It does smell good.

“Mm, good idea.” Viktor kisses Jayce’s shoulder, inhaling the steam filling the room. “Thank you.”

“Do you want some privacy?” Jayce asks, turning and tracing his fingers over Viktor’s tattoos.

Viktor nods, appreciative of the offer. Jayce is extremely affectionate, but never clingy in a way that’s too much. He’s thoughtful and respectful, which is kind of sexy honestly. 

In the past, Viktor has always been the one to set pace, ask to slow down, stop the momentum. But Jayce- he seems to naturally wait for that pace to be set. He checks in. It’s nice.

“Okay, take your time. Lemme know if you need anything.” Jayce kisses him and exits, closing the door and leaving Viktor alone in the bathroom to undress and sink into the bath.

“Here, this is huge on me.” Viktor hands him a shirt from the bottom of his closet.

Jayce grabs it and holds it up. It’s a black ribbed quarter-zip that Viktor thrifted ages ago but it swallows him.

“Uh, there’s no way this fits me, V.” Jayce examines it.

“Will you just try it on?” 

Jayce rolls his eyes and peels off his current sweatshirt, tossing it on the bed. Viktor shamelessly drags his eyes over the man’s bare chest. He lifts his arms to shrug on the shirt and the muscles in his torso naturally flex with the motion, making Viktor’s mouth water subconsciously.

“Yeah, it’s kinda tight.” Jayce winces, pulling it down his arms and adjusting the way it hugs his body.

“It’s supposed to be.” Viktor smirks and approaches, tracing his fingers down the contours of the muscles in Jayce’s arms visible through the fit of the shirt. Thank god Jayce only wore t-shirts and hoodies before now, or Viktor really wouldn't have survived the semester. It’s borderline pornographic.

“You… like this?” Jayce asks, blushing.

“Mhm.” Viktor drags his hands up Jayce’s chest over the shirt and then pulls him down into a kiss using the zipper. “You’re wearing this.”

“Fine, but I get to pick your outfit then.” Jayce smiles and kisses him back.

“Easy. I look good in everything.” Viktor teases, “But I thought you enjoyed this,” he gestures to Jayce’s innovator’s competition shirt hanging slightly too big on his small frame. It smells like his deodorant and Viktor might not be ready to part with it.

“Fuck, I do,” Jayce pouts, squeezing Viktor’s hips with both hands, “don’t take that off yet, hold on-”

He starts backing Viktor up towards the bed until they fall into it, ignoring Viktor’s playful protests of “Stop, stop! We’re gonna be late!”

“Weren’t you saying just last night that every good experiment needs many trials to be statistically significant?” Jayce mumbles, crawling over Viktor and kissing along his collar.

Fuck, he did say that. It was a good line.

“Actually, yes. I suppose you’re right.”

Viktor is true to his word, and lets Jayce pick a cream knit sweater and brown slacks out from the closet. He also insists on decorating Viktor’s cane with gold tinsel, and he’s so excited about it that it’s impossible for Viktor to say no even though it’s so painfully tacky. They’re only slightly late to the party, but it wasn’t Viktor’s fault Jayce is such a motivated scholar of the physical nature.

“ This is Caitlyn’s house?” Viktor asks in disbelief as they approach.

He’s never been one to comment on anyone’s living situation (seeing as his apartment when he was broke in grad school was hardly even legal), but it’s just… a real house. A big house. And Caitlyn is a forensic science student working part-time as a barista.

“It was her mom’s. It’s uh, yeah, it’s a lot.” Jayce shrugs, adjusting the stack of wrapped gifts in his arms.

When they step up onto the porch, Viktor knocks against the front door with the handle of his cane, and the bells in the large decorative wreath jingle against each other.

There’s jazzy music playing inside that bursts from the door when Caitlyn swings it open. She’s adorned with light-up reindeer antlers and a colorful festive sweater.

“You made it!” She grins, ushering them inside, “Aw, Jayce- presents? Oh wow, you look amazing!”

“Jayce!” Vi comes barreling down the stairs, almost crashing into Cait at the doorway while they shuffle inside out of the cold. “I made Jello shots, you gotta try!”

There’s a commotion as Jayce struggles to deliver the presents to where the tree is in the living room with Viktor half-helping and accidently tripping someone with his tinsel-covered cane. Vi rips hers open, revealing a bright red sweater from Jayce reading “ dyke the halls ”, which she puts on immediately. Cait receives a new first-person shooter video game, which apparently is a special skill of hers that Viktor was unaware of until now.

They’re dragged into the kitchen where Viktor and Cait watch as their respective partners make complete fools of themselves trying to top the jello shots with whipped cream, which sprays everywhere initially until they get it under control. Vi puts them all on a tray and begins wandering the party handing them to anyone who she can get the attention of.

Viktor steals a moment to himself by the fireplace in one of the sitting rooms, leaning on his cane and breathing through a brief flare of pain in his hip. It passes after just a minute, but it’s unusual to come on so fast at that time of day.

When it fades, he takes a deep breath. Inhale, exhale.

“Viktor.” An unfamiliar, honeyed voice comes from behind him.

When he turns, he’s shocked to find the striking visage of Mel Medarda, a sight that at one point would’ve sent him into a nauseous state. She’s in an emerald green dress with little strings of snowflakes and fairy lights strung into her braids. Viktor may dislike her, but she’s undeniably beautiful. Maybe that’s why he dislikes her- the idea of competing with such a woman is intimidating.

“Mel. Pleasure.” He nods. Be nice Viktor, he reminds himself in his head, you won.

Despite his cold greeting, she smiles. “I’m happy to see you here, y’know. Even if you’re not pleased to see me.”

It’s hitting him now that he's never really spoken to this woman in his life. Just seethed on the sidelines. Pathetic pining , Vi would call it.

There’s something political about the way she’s opened the conversation. Liken an ulterior motive hides beneath the warm smile and calculating eyes. As she lifts her glass to her lips, he feels her gaze piercing him in a way that makes him feel exposed and vulnerable.

“I don’t know you, frankly.” He says, equally political and purposeful in his response. “I don’t think it would be fair for me to have an opinion.”

She laughs at that, “Feels like I know you. Quite the scholar, from what I’ve heard.”

What is this? Viktor doesn’t have time for games. Or gossip. Or whatever this woman wants from him.

“Jayce used to go on and on about you, y’know,” She continues, and Viktor feels her gaze intensify when he winces at the sound of his partner’s name from her mouth. “You arrived together tonight didn’t you?”

Ah, there it is. Viktor will give her credit, she’s incredibly insightful. His next response will need to be tactful. He doesn’t know if Jayce is technically out, per say. Viktor doesn’t even know if Jayce himself is sure of what that means for him right now. Everything they’ve done has been behind closed doors, in the privacy of the lab or one of their apartments.

“We came from the lab, carpooled.” Viktor shrugs, feigning nonchalance to cover the lie.

The corner of her mouth twitches, but it’s the only sign of his mistake. Her face remains pleasant and neutral. Her major was what again, political science? That adds up.

“Quite dressed up for the lab, no?” She sips her drink again, observing the others enjoying the party.

Fuck. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

She notices his wince and speaks up before he can make up some other terrible half-baked excuse.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s a private matter. I just hope he’s happy, Viktor. I’ve known where his feelings lie for quite some time now.”

Viktor’s head whips towards her in surprise, but she continues fixing her gaze on the surrounding merriment.

“That’s why you ended it.” He says, almost to himself. It’s not a question, but a factual realization.

“Mm.” She hums, “He was conflicted- not his fault. If anyone’s, it was yours.” Viktor turns to her again, insulted, but finds her smiling in amusement. “He’s enamored by you, Viktor.”

To that, he blushes fiercely. The fact that it was obvious to her is somehow equally embarrassing but also endearing. Jayce really talked about him that much? Enough for his ex-girlfriend to put the pieces together with such confidence?

“I um-” Viktor stutters, “Thank you. For um, helping him figure it out I guess. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

Mel’s disposition hasn’t changed, even with the emotional charge of the conversation and the weight of truth laid bare before the two of them. He feels a newfound sense of admiration for her. Admiration and guilt for feeling such contempt for someone he barely knew.

“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t waste your chance, he’s a good guy.” She offers.

As if beckoned by her, the golden boy comes bounding in from the kitchen with two bottles in hand. His face lights up when he locks eyes with Viktor across the room.

“V! I got us drinks. It’s like some seasonal brew that-” He stops mid-sentence, spotting Mel standing in close proximity, “Oh, uh… hi Mel.”

Viktor reaches out and takes one of the beers. “Jayce, Mel was wishing us a happy holiday. It was very kind.” He decides to bridge the gap and at least try not to make things weird after she had been so amicable to him. Which she really had no need to be.

“Don’t let me spoil your fun. It was nice to see you both.” Mel flashes a knowing look at Viktor and then slips away before he can think of anything else to say.

Jayce visibly swallows as he watches her disappear and then turns to Viktor with a guilty expression, “What did she say?”

“Eh, nothing. It was amicable.” Viktor brushes it off and sips the beer. It tastes like ginger and cherries, a bit sweet for his taste but certainly festive for the occasion. “Hey I have kind of an important question, actually.” The words spill out anxiously before he can really think about the direction he’s steering in.

Jayce catches the change in tone and cocks his head, “What?”

Viktor breathes deeply and remembers a time he was in a similar situation years ago. His first boyfriend. Shy, closeted, cute. They went to a party together, one of those shitty house parties with massive amounts of underage drinking and high school drama. Both of them had been drinking far too much. It was a simple touch, no more than a thumb stroke of the boy’s bicep through his shirt, but it was public enough to set him off. Internalized homophobia is a bitch.

“Should I- keep things um, friendly? Between us?” Viktor’s pulse quickens at the memory of the boy’s arm jerking away, the words he spat, the heartbreak he endured, “In this kind of setting?"

Jayce’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Friendly?” He asks, so innocently.

“Like…” Viktor struggles to articulate it, “is this a secret? What we’re doing?”

“A secret?” Jayce asks, surprised, “Do you want it to be?”

“No, no I just thought since you um, are still-”

“Because I kind of want you to be my boyfriend.” Jayce says quickly.

All of the breath leaves Viktor’s body at the unexpected confession. That wasn’t at all was he was trying to ask, but-

“Yeah.” Viktor nods, a smile creeping onto his freckled face, “Yeah, I’d like to be your boyfriend.”

Jayce leans in and kisses Viktor, smiling against his lips and holding the side of his hip gently with his free hand, relieving his use of the cane for a short moment. He tastes like ginger and cherry and the peppermint gum he chewed on the ride over. It’s a kiss with no promise of leading to something more but makes Viktor’s head spin worse than when Jayce pushed him onto the bed and sucked a small angry bruise into the inside of his left thigh earlier that day.

“Good, because I really would like to introduce you as that. As my boyfriend.” Jayce says quieter now that they’re so close to one another. “I don’t want you to be a secret.”

“Then kiss me again so everyone knows you’re off the market, Jayce Talis.” Viktor teases, and promptly gets exactly what he asked for.

Viktor doesn’t get tired of Jayce referring to him as “Viktor, my boyfriend” over and over to a million different people from he and Cait’s circle that he barely knows for the rest of the night. Any other night, Viktor would eventually feel his social battery quickly drain and attempt to dip out early. This time, he just leans into Jayce’s side, face flushed from the alcohol, paying much more attention to the arm wrapped around his waist.

When the crowd thins and Jayce starts to help Cait clean up, Viktor steps out for a smoke with Vi on the back porch.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Vi nudges him. “Nice work.”

Viktor feels giddy before he even lifts the joint to his lips, already high off of the public affection from Jayce he’s received all night.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had a boyfriend.” Viktor hums, “Or at least someone that took me to holiday parties and kissed me in front of their friends.”

“You had shit boyfriends then, dude.” Vi laughs, coughing on the exhale just a bit.

“Not this one.” Viktor smiles like an idiot. “Not Jayce Talis.” He emphasizes the consonants, accent cutting through the smoke drifting in the dark.

Jayce Talis. His boyfriend.

The sound of someone playing carols on the piano inside becomes clearer. He looks out towards the neighboring homes, alight with the glow of colored lights in the windows. There’s a few other gatherings to spy on, some with young kids, some of couples by the fire.

As he takes another hit from the joint with red, cold-bitten knuckles, he feels more warm and alive than he has in a long time. 

“Yeah, yeah, you lovesick idiot.” Vi mumbles. “Merry Christmas.”

Chapter Text

Jayce is at his mother’s house when he gets the phone call.

He had almost begged Viktor to come with him.

“Are you sure you don’t just wanna come home with me?” Jayce had asked, shoving his duffel bag off of his shoulder and into the trunk of the car.

He knew inviting Viktor to his mom’s house for Christmas was pushing it. They’d only been dating for two weeks. Even though it feels like it’s been longer since they’ve been spending almost every waking moment together for the whole semester, the fact is that it’s still very new.

Viktor also doesn’t seem like he’d be the meet-the-parents-after-the-first-date type. Shit , when he thinks about it that way he really sounds clingy.

“I don’t think your mother would appreciate me bringing half of our lab to her home.” Viktor rolled his eyes, “And I don’t even celebrate Christmas, I told you that.”

“Viktor,” Jayce sighed, “I don’t care if you celebrate Christmas. I still don’t want you to be alone.”

“I can’t just put this prototype down now, Jayce.”

“Just a little break, for the holidays. Please?”

Jayce pouted, just a little, because he wasn’t leaving until he used every trick in the book.

“I will be fine.” Viktor smiled and put a hand on Jayce’s chest, tilting his chin up for a chaste kiss. “Go enjoy your holiday. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Fine. I’ll see you soon.” He kissed Viktor again for extra measure and lingered, soaking in the man’s gaze before he had to part from it.

Now, he sits alone on his mom’s old couch by the gas fireplace wishing he had maybe just begged a little more.

It’s a small home, but it smells like the cumin and cinnamon in his mom’s cooking and the couch has a divet in it where she sits every night and it’s Jayce’s favorite place in the world. Viktor’s messy apartment is a close second.

There’s framed photos all over the wall, mostly of Jayce. The one across from him is a childhood photo of him- no more than six years old- bundled up and playing in the snow. On the fireplace, there’s several photos of Jayce dressed in graduation regalia from high school, college, and graduate school, his mom beside him beaming with pride in each one.

“Jayce, could you help me for a moment?” His mother calls from the kitchen.

“Sure, mom.” He rises from the couch and rounds the corner to find the comforting picture of his mother tending to a large simmering pot on a crowded cooktop. Her hair is tossed up into a simple bun with a white streak across the crown of her head on one side.

She smiles warmly and gestures to a cabinet above her, “Could you get the nice china from the top shelf?”

“Mom, we don’t need to do that, really-”

“It’s a special occasion, cariño.” She tuts.

Jayce sighs and places an affectionate hand on her shoulder, reaching up with the other to grab a pair of painted ceramic plates from the shelf. She carefully scoops seasoned rice and stew onto each one, and Jayce carries them to the wobbly wooden table by the window. The steam and fragrance wafts in his face and he inhales the warmth, letting the nostalgia settle in his lungs.

“So this Viktor you’ve been telling me about,” His mom joins him at the table and gives him a knowing look, “you two are close, yes?”

Did everyone catch on before he did?

He thinks back on all the phone calls they’ve shared over the past few months. Maybe he did talk about Viktor a lot.

Surely he can tell his mom about this. It wasn’t so bad with Caitlyn, and he tells his mom everything.

“Oh uh… actually mom, I…” Jayce starts but he’s not sure how to say it. The words get caught in his throat.

The moment is suddenly interrupted by the clattering of his phone vibrating against the surface of the table. He grabs it and finds that he’s getting a call from an unknown number.

Something about it seems off immediately, and the warmth and comfort of his childhood home fades into the background as the unknown caller on the screen glares into him with intensity. He picks it up.

“Hello?” He answers, then mouths an apology to his mom across from him.

The caller answers with a calm, professional tone of voice, “Hello, is this Jayce Talis?”

There’s something deep in his gut that’s telling him something bad is happening, something bad is happening, something bad-

“Speaking.” He knits his brows together in confusion. When the reply comes, his body goes cold.

“I’m calling from the ICU at the Bluewind Court Medical Center.”

After apologizing profusely to his equally-concerned mother (who insisted on putting dinner in tupperwares for the road), and breaking at least a dozen driving laws while white-knucking the steering wheel of his car for the most painful hour and a half of his life, he finds himself in a heated argument with the secretary in the Bluewind Court Intensive Care Unit.

“I don’t know his last name! Fuck, can you please just-”

“Sir, I can’t let you-”

Jayce pushes past and storms down the hall, frantically peering through each window on the doors. He’s terrified to find the delicate frame and soft mess of hair he’s become so familiar with, but equally terrified not to find him here before he gets kicked out.

“Sir! I’m going to call security!”

Jayce doesn’t know what he’s doing; he’s never even been to a hospital before. Maybe once or twice as a kid but he doesn’t have any memory of it. All he knows are those medical dramas on TV his mom likes to watch, and he’s not sure how accurate those portrayals could be.

Everything is white and clinical, illuminated by large fluorescent panels that cast bright glares onto the floor. It’s already making him nauseous, the idea that Viktor is here alone under these horrible lights surrounded by these people in masks and the beeping and beeping and-

“Attention, attention. Security alert, atrium icu… security alert atrium icu…”

The voice comes over the intercom with surprising indifference. Two nurses peek their heads out from a supply closet and then quickly close the door when they’re met with Jayce's crazed, unshaven face and panicked demeanor. God, he probably looks like an escaped patient himself.

A horrible, familiar feeling washes over him as he loses control of his breath and his mind spins with images of his lab partner in pieces somewhere in a hospital bed. It’s worse this time, because before the hyperventilating and the heaviness in his chest was his own insecurity and shame. This time, something terrible has actually happened.

Something terrible has happened to Viktor.

“Viktor!” He shouts, realizing he doesn’t have enough time to check every room. 

This sends the hospital staff into a full panic, clearing the halls and shouting across the unit for security. He is so getting arrested for this.

He rounds the corner to loop back around the other side and sees a door ajar with a man sitting up in bed looking right at him.

“Jayce?” Viktor croaks, looking genuinely surprised.

Jayce moves to rush into the room when someone grabs his arm aggressively.

“No no no-” Viktor’s eyes widen and he shifts in the bed, immediately crying out in pain and clutching the guard rail.

The security guard, who is admittedly a lot smaller than Jayce (seriously, what were they gonna do in this situation if he was actually a psychopath murderer?), looks over at Viktor, obviously confused by the situation.

“He’s fine- he’s with me, fuck.” Viktor gasps out, waving his hand, “Don’t be dramatic.”

The guard relaxes slightly but keeps their hand on Jayce as a signal to stay put. Every bone in Jayce’s body wants to yank his arm away (again, it would be too easy, this hospital really needs a better security team), but he just freezes in fear of actually being taken away. Viktor is in pain, and he’s right there, and it’s awful to be so close but unable to reach him.

“Can someone please explain what’s going on here?” An older woman marches to the doorway and peers inside, looking back and forth between Viktor in the bed and Jayce being restrained by security in the hall. She has some authority that clearly the other nurses respect, because behind her they all jump to continue their work and act like they aren’t obviously eavesdropping on the situation.

“I’m visiting-”

“Not you.” The woman dismisses quickly, eyes trained on Viktor.

Jayce scoffs in offense but then sees the guilt in Viktor’s eyes as his form shrinks ever-so-slightly. It doesn’t seem like his first encounter with this person. The malice in her eyes say the same.

“He’s my uh, boyfriend.” Viktor explains awkwardly.

The woman just stares at him with equal annoyance and exacerbation.

“I don’t have time for this today.” She mumbles, waving off the security guard before huffing and walking away.

The security guard just stares at Jayce, then at Viktor, then back to Jayce. He releases his grip and slowly moves away, pulling out a walkie-talkie and beginning to call off the alert.

Jayce exhales, finally, and rushes to Viktor’s side, kneeling by the bed.

He looks awful, even more gaunt and pale than usual. His eyes are sunken like they are when he pulls all-nighters, and he winces with every small shift of his body to turn to Jayce. The hospital gown loosely tied around him is thin and sickly green, with the wild rune tattoos stretching out from under the sleeve and collar. They look even more sinister and malicious in this setting.

“That was…” Viktor groans, “awfully dramatic.”

“Attention, attention. Security alert, all clear… security alert, all clear…”

“Yeah uh, embarrassingly it seems I don’t know your last name.” Jayce admits.

Viktor barks with laughter at that. It’s so sudden and loud that Jayce flinches, still coming down from the adrenaline of the situation.

“Of course you don’t.” Viktor nods his head across the room to a whiteboard that conveniently, has his full name written across it at the top along with various names of doctors and medication dosages.

Jayce frowns and narrows his eyes. His eyes scan over it again and again, trying to figure out how his mouth could possibly contort in a way that would make all of those letters make sense together. Why is it so long-

“Don’t even try. I’m already in enough pain.” Viktor chuckles to himself and lays his head back against the pillow, smiling through another wince as if to brush it off.

Jayce finally takes in the full extent of Viktor’s current state. His leg is propped up on some specialized pillows, different from the ones behind his head. His brace has been replaced by a large, black garment with thick velcro straps; presumably a more standard version of Viktor’s intricate, self-designed thesis project.

There’s several small tubes running from under the blankets and up through a tall pole that looks like a horrifying version of a mechanical Christmas tree, complete with blinking lights and various bags of liquid hanging from hooks. The engineer in him quickly analyzes the mechanics of these devices, and using context clues, it looks like each attachment is automatically administering different medications at various speeds and intervals.

One of the tubes is crudely taped to the side of Viktor’s cheekbone and disappears into his left nostril. His partner picks at the tape absent-mindedly, where the pulled skin is red and irritated.

“What happened?” Jayce asks, taking a deep breath and trying not to panic again because even though the sight is overwhelming, Viktor seems himself for the most part and not in any immediate danger.

“Jayce, if you’re going to be my boyfriend I suggest getting used to a few hospital visits now and then. I’m very popular here.” Viktor lifts his wrist to jingle the flimsy bracelet wrapped around his wrist, a reminder of the collection hanging in his apartment.

Jayce frowns, “You’re not answering the question.”

Viktor rolls his eyes. Only Viktor would be annoyed about something like this. As if Jayce caring about him is a mere inconvenience. It’s not just that though- his expressions suggest some genuine surprise, pleasant surprise even, at Jayce’s concern. He’s just covering it up.

“Flare up.” Viktor sighs and knocks his knuckle against one of the devices hanging from the pole beside him. “Must’ve been bad when I came in, they gave me the good stuff.”

Jayce glaces at the tag on that particular tube. Another name he can’t pronounce.

“And… everything else?” Jayce drags his eyes over the other tags.

“The hospitals here in Piltover are obnoxiously thorough. Fluids and shit. Medicine to counteract the other medicine because of side effects. Nutrition.” He shrugs, gesturing to the tube in his nose.

“Nutrition?” Jayce frowns again.

“Apparently I’m malnourished, which they tell me every time but I’ve tried to explain to them that my doctor in Zaun said it’s perfectly nor-”

“Viktor.”

“What? They wait until I’m all groggy from the sedatives in the ER and then shove the tube down my throat and when I try to pull it out because it’s completely unnecessary they label me combative -”

“Viktor!” Jayce’s eyebrows fly up in shock (and amusement) at the image of this frail man trying to fight off a bunch of nurses that just want him to be properly nourished.

“Jayce.” Viktor sighs again, looking up at the ceiling. “How did you know I was here?”

Jayce furrows his brow in confusion, “They said I was your emergency contact.”

Viktor’s eyes go wide, “What? Oh god, those damn doctors really did give me too much in the ER, those incompetent idiots-”

“Viktor,” Jayce figures it’s his turn to ask a question, “Why did you give them my name? Don’t you have like, family or like…”

He trails off when Viktor squeezes his eyes shut, either from pain or the vulnerability of what he’s about to admit.

“I don’t have anyone. I grew up mostly in medical foster care.” He swallows.

Jayce feels his heart twist into a painful knot. He’s known Viktor for months. How is he only learning all of these things about him now? His last name, his lack of family, they seem like something that Jayce should know.

He thinks about the stories Viktor had told about growing up in Zaun the weekend of the Innovator’s Competition. The pet cat, the kooky neighbor, the art classes. It all seemed so… normal to him. Knowing that those were probably just glimpses of the different homes he had been in and out of changes the perspective drastically. Which Jayce figures is why Viktor failed to mention it until now.

A staff member, younger than the woman from before, appears in the doorway with a clipboard.

“Sir, you requested a form to-”

“Yes, yes, give it here.” Viktor interrupts quickly, a glint of fear in his eyes. He glances at Jayce, analyzing him briefly as he snatches the clipboard. Odd. But then again, Viktor is just kind of odd sometimes in the way he interacts with people.

The woman in scrubs speaks up again, “The doctor wanted me to tell you that-”

“We’ve already discussed it. Can we get these out now?” Viktor lifts his arm, the tubes attached dangling from it, and Jayce wants to throw up. He’s really going to need to get used to this whole hospital thing quickly.

The whole process of getting Viktor discharged is painfully slow. There’s lots of paperwork, which Viktor refuses to let Jayce help with. One of the devices attached to his arm starts beeping, causing Jayce to jump out of his seat (Viktor explains that it just means the medicine cycle is complete and the nurse needs to unhook it, but Jayce’s heart continues racing for approximately ten minutes after the fact). 

Jayce holds Viktor’s hand when they take out the IV but embarrassingly has to look away. Viktor swears there’s no needle but that doesn’t make any sense and he doesn’t want to look too closely to confirm that fact.

When they remove the tape and pull the tube from Viktor’s nose, he makes a horrible gagging, coughing noise that Jayce was fully not prepared for. Viktor clears his throat afterwards but seems unfazed. It’s obviously a routine experience for him.

When they get him back in his usual brace and clothes, and Jayce helps him out of bed, he’s looking a little more like himself. Jayce takes the win.

“Let’s get you home, V.” Jayce says finally, wiping some sweaty hair from Viktor’s forehead. He kisses it gently, rewarded with the sweet, soft smile he loves so so much.

They take it slow, one step at a time, with the familiar tap of Viktor’s cane against the floor and Jayce’s arm wrapped around his waist securely. When they finally reach the parking lot, the sun has begun to set and Viktor is so exhausted from the walk that he’s leaning almost his full weight against Jayce.

The colors in the sky remind him of ships in the city harbor, fried fish with malt vinegar, and Viktor beside him still.

Chapter Text

“You should grow out the beard.” Viktor thinks out loud and he strokes his thumb across the line of Jayce’s unshaven jaw.

They’re finally in bed and Viktor's whole body aches as the meds from the hospital begin wearing off little by little. It’s not that bad though, because Jayce is laying halfway across Viktor like a warm weighted blanket with his head against Viktor’s shoulder. His feet might be dangling off the edge of the bed in this position, but he seems content enough.

“Yeah?” Jayce smiles and playfully rubs the side of his face against Viktor’s neck.

“Yeah.” He hums, “It’s kinda hot.”

“I won’t argue with that I guess.” Jayce chuckles, scratching at the stubble.

Viktor sighs and tries his best to relax his body with the exhale. He’s grateful for Jayce being here- it would’ve been a much worse night otherwise. Still, the fact that he dropped everything and cut his visit with his mom short to be here is still weighing on him heavily.

“I’m sorry about all this.” Viktor says, “You should be with your mom.”

“My mom is just as worried, V. In fact, she sent me with some food for you so when you wake up I can heat it up for us. It’s really good.” Jayce smiles that stupid, stupid smile that gets him every time.

He wants to say, “No offense, but thinking about food right now makes me nauseous” but instead he just smiles and ruffles his partner’s hair.

“Still, I’m sorry.” He says again.

“Viktor, what the hell are you sorry for?”

“I just- I know it’s a lot. I come with a lot. I don’t want that to, y’know, scare you away or be too much too fast.” Viktor feels his throat close up with emotion.

Every time, every time he thinks about it he feels the threat of these hot tears. He’s become far too accustomed to hiding this part of his life away, compartmentalizing everything in some grand design scheme that is starting to make less and less sense with Jayce here throwing himself at it all.

“Everyone comes with a lot, Viktor. You’re dating me and I thought I was completely straight like, a couple months ago. And I still don’t know if I’ve figured that out yet.” Jayce shrugs.

“Well you’re here, so.” Viktor comments.

It’s quiet in the bedroom, the only sound being the dull hum of the heat blowing through the vents and their breathing, Jayce rising and falling with each slow rattle of his chest. Viktor blinks the tears away, thankful for the privacy of the dark shielding the other man from the conflict bubbling up from that scary place in the pit of his own making.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Jayce whispers back into the dark.

A few hours later, still dark out, Viktor wakes up and promptly stumbles to the bathroom to vomit into the toilet.

It’s the damn meds that doctor gives him, he’s always totally fucked afterwards. Almost not even worth going to the hospital, which is why he generally avoids it. The problem is when the normal tricks don’t help, it all becomes so unbearable that he eventually folds.

He wipes his mouth and pulls himself up to stand again. His throat burns from where the nasogastric tube had been ever-present and invasive in his body. Fuck this.

His body is weak, and his hand shakes even when he retrieves the cane to bear his weight. He can’t get the image of Jayce out of his mind, sweating and panicked in the doorway to his hospital room. Jayce, kneeling by the bed, holding his hand through it all, more scared than Viktor himself. The way Jayce went pale at the sight of Viktor’s IV site up close but didn’t say anything, just rubbed his thumb over the knuckles on Viktor’s cold hand.

The amount of feelings that surface with the recent memory overwhelm him completely. He’s not sure which one is strongest- is it the fear of this being too much too fast? Or the fear that he’s become so vulnerable with this man that he’s going to get hurt? Could it be the terrifying deep affection, daresay love , he felt when Jayce made sure he wasn’t alone. When Jayce clearly wanted to be there through the ugly parts.

The other thought, the one that Viktor feels most guilty for thinking, is that Jayce might not even be sure about his sexuality yet. He said it himself only a few hours ago. It’s fair, of course he wouldn’t have it all figured out yet. It takes some people years to gain confidence with this sort of thing. But still, the idea gnaws away at the inside of Viktor’s chest.

Could this really all just be an experiment for Jayce? When the excitement is over, will this fling lose its novelty?

Don’t be ridiculous, Viktor thinks to himself, you know that’s not what this is.

But he’s unable to shake it.

He glances at his sink where Jayce’s deodorant and hair cream are neatly stacked in the corner. There’s a second toothbrush next to Viktor’s and even a few dark strands of hair he recognizes. The sight of those little details shouldn’t fill Viktor with such emotion, but he can’t help it. How did this all happen so fast?

It’s late, and not the time to be thinking about all of this anyway.

He chugs a glass of water, takes a couple of the pills he took home from the hospital, and returns to bed. He waits for sleep to take him, but it doesn’t come. The dull throb of his joints doesn’t worsen, but it doesn’t let up, remaining a consistent distraction.

He reaches down for Jayce’s discarded hoodie on the floor next to the bed. When he turns his head to check on his sleeping partner, he feels a small tinge of embarrassment. Which is funny, because he and Jayce are literally dating.

Slowly, he lifts the thick fabric up, holds it against his face, and inhales. It smells like that fucking intoxicating smell he’s become so addicted to: Jayce’s teakwood deodorant, lingering fabric softener, and that warm musky smell that he leaves behind on everything he wears. Viktor admittedly lays on Jayce’s side on the bed ( oh god, do they have sides now? ) when he’s not here, just to smell it.

Yeah, he’s putting it on.

He pulls the sweatshirt over his head, shaking his hair out and pulling the sleeves down over his hands. The combination of the warmth from the soft fabric and the comforting smell already makes him feel infinitely more relaxed, and the heaviness of his eyelids finally overpowers the pain keeping him awake.

Jayce sighs in his sleep across the bed, and it’s enough to lure Viktor back under the covers. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him into his chest and placing a gentle kiss to the back of Jayce’s neck.

“ Mmm, baby. ” Jayce hums, still asleep but somehow subconsciously aware of Viktor slotting in behind him.

If Jayce were awake, he might be able to feel Viktor’s heart skip against his back. Instead, Viktor just hides his blush by pressing his face into Jayce’s hair and traces circles into his skin with his thumb.

Life goes on.

Jayce doesn’t ask many questions about the hospital, and Viktor doesn’t bring it up. 

When the semester starts back up in January, Viktor can count on one hand the amount of times he’s slept in a bed without Jayce, which might be a bit unhealthy but he’s not going to be the one to bring that up.

Jayce spends New Year's with his mother, after several adorable arguments over the phone where she insisted he stay and take care of Viktor. They finally settle when he allows her to cook extra food to take back to the lab upon his return. Their first day back is treated with cups of spicy soup with vegetables and lentils, which is actually heavenly even though the heat makes Viktor’s nose run. He sniffles through it and manages to consume even more than Jayce does. Jayce is annoyingly smug about it for the rest of the day.

By the end of the first week back, the mechanisms on Viktor’s lab bench are starting to look like a real leg. It’s rudimentary, but there’s clearly a foot and a knee linking everything together.

“How small do the sensors have to be?” Jayce asks hunched over the computer at Viktor’s desk. He’s barely worked on his own project since he’s been back.

Viktor fidgets with the end of his shirt, surveying the top of the leg’s thigh, presumably where most of the sensors will attach. “Well, it depends on how many individual sensors you think we’ll need in order to cover all of the basic functions.”

It’s really more complicated than that. A prosthetic like this would have to be custom-made in order to be built for actual use. The prototype is simply a way of showing proof of concept, but putting this leg on someone means they would have to know the specific anatomy of the amputation site they’re trying to attach to.

“Well in robotics it’s a bit simpler, since you’re coding with a computer. This is like coding with a human brain.” Jayce sighs, running one of his hands over his face and groaning.

“More like muscles. The brain codes the muscles and the muscles code the machinery in the leg. To put it simply.” Viktor replies.

“Nothing about this is simple.” Jayce sighs.

They’ve barely slept this week. Honestly, if it weren’t for Mrs. Talis’ provisions, they probably would be running on empty stomachs too.

Jayce looks exhausted, with dark purple smudges under his lidded eyes, illuminated by the glow of the laptop in front of him.

“You don’t have to help me, Jayce.” Viktor adds, reaching forward to adjust the foot piece.

“Stop saying that.”

“You’re gonna fail your first year if you don’t have a proposal in the next few months. Then who’s going to make me coffee?”

“And give you head?” Jayce smirks when Viktor turns over his shoulder to cast him a devilish look.

“That’s far from appropriate lab conversation, Jayce.” Viktor quips back, focusing on pretending to adjust some of the screws to mask how the sudden casualness of the statement from Jayce affects him. Now that Jayce is becoming more confident, it’s becoming somewhat of a problem for Viktor.

“What if I want to have sex?”

Viktor drops the screwdriver on the floor with a small, bouncing cl-clang. Okay, yeah, it’s becoming a problem. 

“What?”

The confidence that glazed Jayce’s voice before drops instantly. “I- I’m sorry, I know we haven’t talked about it and I’m like- totally fine doing this stuff like it’s really good and-”

“Oh- no, no don’t be sorry it’s eh… We should probably take some time to… talk about that though.” Viktor decides, because as much as he wants to throw himself at this man, they do need to work out the logistics first. The last thing Viktor wants is to get swept up in the moment and go too far or make Jayce feel pressured or, god forbid, hurt Jayce. It’s just, Viktor wants it, perhaps the most he’s ever wanted someone, and that’s enough to grapple with on its own.

“Like now?” Jayce bites his lip and taps against the laptop, surely writing gibberish at this point.

Viktor chuckles at Jayce’s eagerness. “Unfortunately I have an appointment this afternoon, but you’re welcome to come with and maybe we can go to my place afterwards?”

Jayce looks up from the laptop. 

“What kind of appointment?”

///

“Viktor, are you sure you know where you’re going?” Jayce asks nervously as Viktor leads them confidently down the street in a part of town he didn’t even know existed until now. The streets seem narrower, more alley-like as the buildings seem to lean and close in imposingly. 

Steam billows up intermittently from large vents on the sidewalk, and the crunch of broken glass is heard under their feet as they traverse further away from anything Jayce can find familiar.

“There’s lot of Zaunite-owned businesses on this block, Jayce.” Viktor explains, knocking an empty bottle to the side with his cane. “It’s a lower income area, so naturally people like- eh, you- avoid it.”

Jayce wants to defend himself, but Viktor is right. He can’t see himself ever coming here on his own. But Viktor seems confident, and at this point it seems Jayce blindly trusts anything he says.

Some of the windows on this street are boarded up, splintering wood overlapping itself as if keeping something dangerous inside. Dangerous , Jayce thinks to himself, scrunching his face, why is that the first thing I thought? Viktor literally just called me out on being a classist asshole.

It’s funny, how knowing Viktor for a couple of months has begun to change his entire perspective on things he had never given a second thought to before.

“Is that how you found this person?” Jayce asks, stepping to the side just in time to avoid another steam blast.

“Actually, yes.” Viktor nods.

They stop in front of a small building that looks like it’s been shoved and squeezed in between two other much larger structures. The brick is laid haphazardly, crooked and almost warped in places, but it forms a solid shop face with one large frosted window that displays a flickering, neon purple sign reading open .

Viktor motions Jayce along as he pushes open the door and hits a bell above the doorway with the handle of his cane.

“There you are- kept me waiting long enough.” A gravelly voice grumbles and there’s the sound of a stool squeaking across wood.

Jayce closes the door behind him and leans around Viktor to find an impressive woman standing from a table, not taller than Jayce but surprisingly not far off. Her hair is cropped at her cheekbones, the rest shaved, and a swirling tattoo runs over her shoulder and up the side of her neck, disappearing into the hairline. It resembles a liquid, the way the ink flows and ripples, with lightened accents that make it almost sparkle against the warmth of her skin.

“Sevika.” Viktor greets, and it’s different from other times Jayce has seen Viktor approach professional relationships. He doesn’t instantly stiffen and adjust his shirt like Jayce has seen him do in the presence of people like Professor Heimerdinger, he just leans with both hands on the cane with a genuine, comfortable smile.

“Who’s the frat boy you brought with you?” The woman, apparently called Sevika, looks him up and down with her eyebrows raised.

Jayce looks down at his outfit. He’s wearing shorts in the middle of January, so he’s in no place to be remotely offended by the comment.

Viktor shrugs, “Boyfriend.”

Jayce’s stupid heart does a backflip.

“Huh. Alright, come look at the sketches here. We better jump in because this is going to take a while” Sevika taps some papers laid out in front of her.

Viktor approaches the table next to Sevika and Jayce takes in his surroundings.

The small space is illuminated by purple and green neon lights, and many framed art pieces litter the walls. They look at first like simple amorphous shapes, but when Jayce approaches one, he sees the careful, intricate lines and dotwork forming the larger image. Each one is different- some flow with ease and some are jagged and violent. None of them make much sense to Jayce, but they’re beautiful.

There’s a shelf in the back of the room with some oddities: metal trinkets, terrarium jars, and the occasional shadowbox of insect taxidermy. Jayce leans in to examine a butterfly, folded and pinned neatly to display iridescent wings that shift color when he tilts his head side to side. Strange to find a dead thing so beautiful.

He hears the thump of Viktor’s messenger bag hitting the table, and Jayce turns to see him pull out a large binder and begin flipping through it with Sevika looking over his shoulder.

“Like that? With a wider gap there?” Viktor asks.

Sevika purses her lips and begins smudging an eraser over the pages on the table.

When Jayce approaches, he sees the full picture.

On the table is a huge sketch of a human torso- no, it’s Viktor’s torso- because there’s a blocked-out section where his back brace should be with a rough sketch of the strap that goes across the shoulder. It’s his tattoo that takes the main focus, darker and carefully drawn, obviously the focus of the image. It’s different though, larger, as the ink stretches further down his arm and up the side of his neck just slightly, similar to the placement of Sevika’s.

She brushes the debris from the eraser off the page and begins marking and changing the tattoo where the inside of Viktor’s elbow is.

“Yes- yes, that’s good.” Viktor nods.

“She did all of this?” Jayce speaks up finally.

“It’s a collaborative effort.” Viktor explains, “Sevika’s style is unique. Very custom. Only takes on large pieces like this.”

Jayce looks back to where the woman finishes the last stretching piece above Viktor’s inner forearm. It’s effortless and beautiful.

“Viktor sends me scans of his sketches and I adjust them to make the design fit his body, add my own flair here and there. Doesn’t come out half-bad, I’d say.” She nudges Viktor, and Jayce notices for the first time that Sevika’s arm is- well, not an arm. 

The protrusion from her left shoulder is a metal piece fitted with a soft rubber pad at the elbow, ending abruptly there instead of continuing into a forearm and hand. It looks somewhat makeshift, and Jayce concludes that Sevika is definitely similar to Viktor in many ways as he looks between her prosthetic and Viktor’s handmade brace.

“Worried the one-handed tattoo artist is gonna slip up on her favorite client, pretty boy?” Sevika notices him staring and chuckles.

“No- god, sorry I just-”

“He’s a mechanics guy.” Viktor explains, “Y’know, a how-things-work nerd. Oh, and he also just kinda stares at everyone like that, so don’t go thinking you’re special.”

After Viktor and Sevika agree on the final design, they shuffle through the preparations for the actual tattooing process. Jayce sits on a bench and watches as Viktor removes his shirt, trying very hard not to think about all of the other times he’s seen him do the same motion under different circumstances.

“This healed nicely.” Sevika traces along the wild rune on Viktor’s shoulder, and Jayce feels a spark of jealousy watching her caress his bare skin like that before he reminds himself how ridiculous that is.

It seems like that overwhelming possessive trait has transferred over from his previous relationships. He can recall prior girlfriends using the word “clingy” too many times to count. 

Viktor makes himself comfortable laying on the leather bench after the purple stencil is carefully applied. Jayce sucks in a breath, seeing the runes creeping up the base of Viktor’s neck while he lays with his eyes closed softly, head turned to display the site towards Sevika propped up on a stool.

As always, he’s fucking beautiful.

Jayce can see himself in the mirror opposite of him, looking over Sevika’s shoulder at his awkward, flushed expression.

“I’m guessing you’ve never gotten a tattoo before?” Sevika raises an eyebrow at him.

“Oh- uh…” Jayce freezes, unsure how to answer because Viktor is lying there unaware of the true answer. “I’ve got uh, a small one. Just one.”

Viktor’s eyes fly open. “What?”

Jayce’s hand instinctively flies up to where he knows the mark is behind his ear, hidden by his hair. “It’s kind of uh, private?” It comes out as a question.

“Private? I’d like to think I’ve seen most of the more private areas on your body.” Viktor frowns, almost annoyed. If Jayce weren’t so embarrassed by the direction the conversation had taken, it would be kind of cute.

“Alright, alright lovebirds.” Sevika rolls her eyes, and the machine in her hand starts buzzing. “You can’t talk while I’m doing this part, so shut up.”

Viktor’s frown softens and he exhales, closing his eyes again.

He quickly discovers the purpose of the woman’s metal appendage: as she lifts the gun with her only hand, she uses the rubber pad with the edge of her wrist to stretch the skin before carefully following the stencil with the needle. It’s amazing, the way she’s adapted one-handed to such an intricate and detailed profession.

Sevika’s craft is fascinating to watch. In the silence, as she traces over the lines on Viktor’s neck, Jayce takes apart and rebuilds the machinery in the tattoo gun in his mind. It’s different from the one he remembers from his own appointment just last year, but he didn’t have as much time to study that one in this intimate detail. Sevika seems like the kind of person that does things her own way, and Jayce likes that about her.

After a while, Viktor’s eyelids flutter and his exhales become more strained. Sevika notices it at the same time as Jayce ( wow, she really is good ), and lifts the gun, leaning back in her chair. “Okay, break.”

Viktor blinks his eyes open and exhales a held breath, “I could’ve gone longer.” He mumbles.

“Does it hurt?” Jayce asks, concerned.

“I told you never to ask me that.”

Jayce can only laugh and shake his head at the ceiling.

Sevika hands a water bottle to Viktor and turns back to her workbench, fiddling with the gun.

Viktor sighs and stretches his neck out a little before taking a sip.

“It does hurt though,” Viktor says finally, “like a bitch, actually. But it’s pain I have some control of I guess. Maybe that’s why this whole project started in the first place.”

He takes another sip, and continues musing, staring off into space. “It’s addicting. The pain. Or maybe the control? If that makes any sense. It’s… the other stuff is a part of me I can’t fix or change or-”

He glances at Jayce.

“I choose this. And it’s beautiful. And I like it. So yeah…” He nods, taking one last sip and handing the water to Jayce, “it hurts. I’m okay.”

“He’s one of my toughest clients, this scrawny thing.” Sevika adds.

Jayce can only continue staring in admiration at this beautiful, fascinating man. The way that out of nowhere, he spits prose like he’s rehearsed the lines, but it comes out like a natural train of thought.

When Sevika finally finishes the neck section, she moves on to his arm. This process is much less tense, and the conversation between the three of them begins to flow. Viktor and Jayce eat snacks and recount the highlights of last semester to Sevika. She’s extremely interested in Viktor’s dissertation project, and it’s nice to talk to someone on their level after bouncing so many ideas back and forth between just the two of them for so long.

“So Viktor said you only do large pieces? Like custom work and stuff?” Jayce asks during the finishing touches, genuinely curious in her artistry.

“I do abstracts like this. Full sleeves, chest pieces, all that stuff.” She explains, a glint of passion in her eye as she focuses on a rune tendril stretching around Viktor’s elbow. “Each one is completely custom and unique. The pieces have names. Viktor’s is-”

“The Wild Rune.” Jayce nods, and Sevika smiles. It’s a crooked, amused smile, soft against the sharp angles of her face.

“Mine is Shimmer.” She gestures to her own tattoo.

“It’s gorgeous.” Jayce says with admiration.

“There’s other unclaimed ones y’know, in case you’re interested.” She nods to the art pieces on the wall that Jayce had been admiring earlier. The one behind her features an almost mechanical design full of pipework and gears. Many sections are completely blacked out, and some have puffs of steam swirling in contrast to the sharper lines. He finds the name scrawled at the bottom: The Grey .

When the addition to Viktor’s tattoo is finished, Sevika wraps it in a dark, sticky material. Jayce thinks it’s a shame it has to be covered up, but in a way it’s merciful because he can’t handle having to look at how fucking hot it is. The skin is red and angry, welting at the edges before the last wrap is applied to the bottom of his neck.

“Fuck, never a pleasure, Sevika.” Viktor jokes, shrugging his shirt back on over the wraps.

“That bad? You didn’t show it.” She chuckles, wiping her hands on her cargo pants. “Like a damn statue you are.”

“Next time I’ll make sure to thrash violently if it makes you feel more accomplished.”

When they finally leave the shop, Jayce is surprised that it’s almost midnight, meaning they spent 6 fucking hours in there. His stomach grumbles as he realizes they’ve only eaten chips and gummy worms for dinner.

“Holy shit, we need food.” He groans.

“Is that why I feel so lightheaded?”

“Well you were just practically tortured for several hours, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“I’ve got food at my place. C’mon.” Viktor begins strolling off into the street, cane tapping its usual syncopated rhythm against the pavement.

Jayce highly doubts that, but when is he ever going to say no to a situation that lands him in that man’s bed at the end of the night? He follows, as they head off into the night.

Chapter Text

Where is it?

Viktor’s eyes graze across every part of Jayce’s body across from him in the lab. The tattoo has to be small, because any larger piece Viktor would’ve seen already. No, it’s something easily hidden, not directly noticeable, but also not on any inch of skin Viktor has seen before, which is… a lot.

Trying to recall which parts he’s seen uncovered only drives him crazier, as he pictures all of the most compromising positions they’ve been in over the past month.

Viktor’s thumbs digging into Jayce’s hips, laying on the bed with his pants shoved down to his knees. No, not there. Upper thighs, lower stomach, smooth, strong hips- bare.

Jayce tugging his shirt up over his head before leaning back in for a desperate kiss. Chest, arms, collar- inkless.

Could be on his foot. Something small enough that Viktor never noticed down there.

Or maybe… lower back? Has he seen that yet? God, it’s a crime they haven’t found themselves in that position before.

“Viktor, are you okay?” Jayce tears him from the ongoing investigation.

“Oh-” He clears his throat, “yeah, yeah I’m just a bit distracted- sorry. Lots on my mind and all”

Jayce smirks.

“Distracted?”

Again with the confidence. It’s making Jayce far too bold. Viktor really needs to do something about that.

“This equation is puzzling.” He gestures to the board. He’s a terrible liar.

“The equation you solved 20 minutes ago?”

Viktor glances at it. Ah.

It’s all the permission Jayce needs to invade his space, crowding him against the very board that betrayed him. Strong arms bracket him on either side, and Viktor can’t help but realize as much as he’s had Jayce in this very position- the roles have never been reversed like this.

“I could be a welcome distraction, y’know.” Jayce murmurs in his ear, and Viktor’s legs (both of them, dammit, what’s the use of having at least one good one if it folds under pressure just the same?) threaten to give out at the way his partner's voice drops practically a whole octave.

“I was just- ha- “ Viktor laughs at the way his voice pitches up. Absolutely pathetic, where is his usual resolve? Who is this man?

Jayce slots his thigh in between Viktor’s and god , that’s good.

“You were what? Tell me what kind of distractions are keeping you from your very important, life changing research.” Jayce teases.

Viktor is in fact a weak, weak man.

“I was just wondering-“ He swallows hard, trying to focus on forming coherent words while Jayce provides friction that threatens to elicit moans from his throat, “-where your, fuck, where your tattoo is.”

The reaction that he gets is a stark difference from the smug smirk he was expecting. Instead, Jayce falters and goes pale.

Viktor sees his chance to take control again. He locks eyes with his partner and holds the gaze as he runs his hands up Jayce’s outstretched arms to drag up his neck and cradle his jaw.

“Thought you could keep a secret from me?” He emphasizes the consonants against the roof of his mouth, making his voice all honeyed on his accent the way Jayce likes.

“Viktor…” Jayce whispers, breathless. Yes , he’s got him now. “Hold on-“

“Is it under here?” Viktor teases, fiddling with the buttons on Jayce’s shirt.

“Wait, V-“

“Or further down…”

Jayce’s hand flies to catch Viktor’s with unexpected intensity. When he looks up to meet his partner’s eyes, they’re wide with fear.

“It’s not- not like that.” Jayce shakes his head and steps backwards, and oh god, Viktor’s fucked up.

It’s just that in these few weeks of “experimentation”, as they’ve been calling it, Jayce is always so eager. It’s so easy to work him up that Viktor’s forgotten his job as a responsible, more experienced boyfriend to check in now and then. And now Jayce is retreating, pale as if he’s seen a ghost.

“I’m sorry.” Viktor says quietly, not even sure what he’s sorry for.

“No, no, god no Viktor you’re great I just-“ Jayce looks so incredibly conflicted as he stutters frantically, “it’s personal. I’ve never shown anyone. My m-“

His voice breaks just a little, “my mom doesn’t even know.”

Viktor’s lost control of this situation completely, because Jayce looks like he could cry and he doesn’t know what in the world happened to send things south so quickly. Is he embarrassed? Gosh, like Viktor would care if he had something stupid tattooed on him.

“It’s okay, Jayce.” He approaches cautiously.

“It’s here.” Jayce whispers, hand reaching up to rub behind his ear. He’s looking at the ground, avoiding Viktor’s gaze.

All of the satisfaction that Viktor thought he would feel upon finding its location is replaced with thick guilt that clogs his throat.

“You don’t have to show me, I shouldn’t have assumed that-“

“Just look, please. It- it’ll make more sense.”

Viktor holds his breath and steps forward, pushing Jayce’s hair back as he turns his head.

He doesn’t want to look. Something about this feels charged, too much, like a freight train headed toward onward collision. Too late to hit the brakes now.

There, behind Jayce’s ear, is a tattoo so small that it could be easily mistaken as a couple of odd freckles upon first glance. One black dot with a curved mark under it.

A semicolon, Viktor’s heart sinks because he knows what it means. A symbol of where a sentence could stop, but instead continues.

A symbol of where a life could stop, but instead continues.

Jayce is here in the lab showing Viktor, telling Viktor, of a brush with suicide.

“Last year.” Jayce whispers.

Last year. Last semester? Viktor feels sick.

It’s all happening fast fast fast and they’re just standing here in their lab and Viktor can’t possibly think about the now very real fact that Jayce’s life hung in the balance while his own went on unaware.

Jayce must see the expression on his face widen because he clarifies, “Before you.”

That almost makes Viktor feel more sick, the way Jayce chooses to measure time in before and after their paths crossed.

Viktor feels his brain moving at a mile a minute, factoring too much into the equations and the subjectivity of his emotions muddles it into nonsense as he tries to catch his breath.

What snaps him back to reality is the sound of Jayce’s breath hitching and looking up to find him still standing there, now crying fully and clenching his jaw in some attempt to hold back whatever is overcoming him.

“Shit, Jayce-” Viktor grabs his hands, “Let’s sit, okay? Over here.”

He leads Jayce to the windowsill, a bit clumsy with the cane and both arms in use, but eventually gets them both seated comfortably with Jayce laying down, head resting in Viktor’s lap.

“Jayce, I-“

“I had a plan. There was… a note .”

Why are you telling me this, he wants to say, but the words don’t come out. Something tells him that Jayce needs this, he needs to speak it aloud because the odds are that he never has before.

“I got kicked out of the program at Kirammen. I- I fucked up and- and all the research was…” Jayce sniffs, “gone .”

Thinking and processing all of this in the moment is too much, so Viktor settles on stroking over the tattoo behind Jayce’s ear with his thumb and being present, being here for him.

“They confiscated everything, there was a conduct meeting with the board and I- they just kicked me out after, after all that work and- I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t-”

Jayce wipes his face with his sleeve but the tears keep flowing. Viktor didn’t know he went to Kirammen. Cait and Vi certainly never mentioned it, but they had to know, right?

“I had nothing left. I tried to- f-find things that made it better and after a while I think my mom and Cait thought I was better, that I could m-move on from it but- I got worse . And I couldn’t- I didn’t tell them. I just-”

“Jayce, breathe. Take a breath.” Viktor interrupts, because Jayce is gasping for breath in between words and spiraling fast. 

Jayce closes his eyes and inhales shakily, Viktor mirroring him like he remembers his therapist doing. They exhale, then repeat. The second time is better, slower, more controlled. Jayce nods, probably just to himself, to keep himself present, and he continues.

“I set a date. Got things in order. Wrote it all down. I felt b-better, once I was ready, I mean I know that’s horrible but-” Jayce blinks more tears away and keeps his eyes closed, “Then the letter from Piltover came. That day.”

He pauses and swallows, taking another deep breath.

“So I didn’t. I came here instead.”

Viktor’s ears are ringing and he feels like there’s nothing he could possibly say in this moment that would fix or soothe any of that pain. He feels almost out of his own body, watching them sit in silence from across the room.

My mom doesn’t even know, he had said. Has Jayce been keeping all of this inside the whole time? Cursed with the knowledge of his near-death experience with nobody to confide in?

Jayce doesn’t say anything else, but his breaths begin to come easier (with the occasional sniffle) and his tears dry on the fabric of Viktor’s pants. There’s so much more to be said, but none of it feels right for the moment. They’re still in the lab, the sun is setting, and Viktor needs to take this step by step.

“Jayce.” Viktor whispers, after a few minutes go by.

“Mm?”

“Let’s get you home.”

Viktor manages to get Jayce to bed fairly easily. He’s rightfully exhausted from his emotional confession in the lab, and basically collapses onto his bed. Viktor makes him drink water and then folds the blankets over him, and he’s out like a light.

It’s only 6pm, but it seems late with how early the sun goes down this time of year. It’s pitch black out but Viktor’s hardly tired.

He pulls out his phone to send a text to Vi.

Need a smoke. Bad.

He’s not in much physical pain today, but it’s a practically harmless vice, and the idea of being alone right now makes his skin crawl just a little.

She answers almost instantly.

I got what u need. Will take payment in the form of pizza and beer.

Viktor smiles. He hasn’t seen Vi in ages, with everyone gone for the holidays recently. As abrasive as she is, she’s a good friend, and Viktor’s starting to grow pretty fond of her. He’d never tell her that of course, she’d never let him hear the end of it.

Done. I’m at J’s. 

Vi arrives about 30 minutes later, and Jayce is so deep in sleep he barely stirs to the knock on the door. She clears space on the kitchen counter to spread out her supplies while Viktor sets the food on the coffee table and grabs two beers from the fridge, tossing one to her.

“You sure you don’t want to wake him? His sleep schedule will be fucked.” Vi nods to Jayce’s bedroom.

“Nah, then he’ll smoke and we’ll have to babysit.” Viktor chuckles, thinking about how stupid high Jayce gets from the smallest amount of weed in his system.

“Fair.” Vi shrugs, popping the cap off of a beer bottle.

They share a part of a joint on Jayce’s balcony until Viktor can barely feel his fingers from the cold and begs to go back inside. Vi calls him a baby and puts some female wrestling match on the tv as they settle in on the couch.

“How are you doing after the whole hospital scare?” Vi asks.

Viktor shrugs, “Not really a scare. I’m what they call a ‘frequent flyer’ there.”

“Sure scared Jayce. He was a mess. What the fuck happened?”

Viktor thinks about the fear in Jayce’s eyes when he appeared in the doorway of Viktor’s hospital room- so similar to how he looked when Viktor asked about the tattoo today. When he recounted everything that happened to him last year.

“My body is fucking falling apart, that’s what’s happening.” Viktor groans, rubbing his palm against the twinging muscle above his knee, “And Jayce and I just started. I feel like a dick for putting all of that on him so soon. I am not an easy man to care for.”

“I don’t think caring for anyone is easy. Don’t be so dramatic.” Vi nudges him, and then after a small pause, her voice changes to a more serious tone.

“Is it serious?”

“Eh… define serious.”

“Are you dying? ”

“No- god, no! Nothing like that.” Viktor corrects quickly, and the tension leaves Vi’s body.

It’s weird to be cared for. Not just by Jayce as a romantic partner, but by friends too. Not that Viktor’s never had friends- he’s just always been private about his medical needs. Growing up in medical foster care will really make you feel more like a burden or a responsibility than a real person.

“So how’s everything else going?” She asks.

“Everything else?”

“Married life. Jayce. The sexuality crisis of the century.”

Viktor snorts. “That is not my business to tell.”

“Oh come on, that’s no fun.”

“It’s private!” Viktor snaps.

Vi narrows her eyes, “You’re being oddly defensive. What, is he that bad?”

“He is- no, god no he’s not bad. He’s good-” Viktor swallows, “-surprisingly so.”

That is not a lie. Jayce is good at pretty much everything he tries, which is unfair because Viktor has dedicated way more time to the craft. 

It’s just that Jayce is eager to try more, and well, Viktor is the one putting it off. Not that he doesn’t want more of course.

What if I want to have sex? Jayce had said. He hasn’t forgotten the statement.

In fact, that’s what was echoing in Viktor’s mind when he was touching himself in the shower this morning, but that’s irrelevant.

Vi grabs a slice of pizza and drags it onto her paper plate, smearing grease across the cardboard. She then looks at Viktor and purses her lips, looking him up and down carefully, like she’s trying to figure something out. Viktor feels oddly uncomfortable under the gaze given the context of the current conversation.

“Bottom, right?”

Viktor coughs, “I’m sorry?” 

Jesus, Vi never beats around the bush. He honestly should’ve expected it to come up sooner.

“It’s just that Cait and I have this bet going-”

“I beg your pardon?”

Viktor tries not to think about the kinds of conversations the two of them would be having about their best friends sex lives.

“Like you have top energy but I dunno, the leg, and I mean- let’s be real, Jayce is-”

“Can we not talk about this?” Viktor makes a stern face at her but he can feel how hot his face has become.

“Wait…” Vi gasps, “Oh shit. You haven’t-”

“Vi. Respectfully, shut up.”

Vi just smirks, accepting the win, and leans back on the couch.

“No, no, that's cute. I just thought- well, it didn’t exactly look like you were taking it slow when Cait and I walked in that one time. And that was what, last month?”

“How would you feel if I started speculating about you and Cait, hm?” Viktor asks.

“You don’t have to. We switch.” Vi shrugs, taking a bite of the pizza and pulling half of the cheese off the slice with it.

Viktor’s never been shy about sex, but he feels incredibly protective of Jayce in particular. He could care less what Vi thinks, but Jayce’s involvement and his staggering state of vulnerability makes him more nervous than he’s ever been about past relationships.

“Eh- it’s not that easy. Well I mean I would do whatever but I don’t really know what he wants and I don’t think he does either.” Viktor explains, and oh god, he’s talking about his sex life with Vi. He considers the fact that taking sex advice from a lesbian as a gay man is a little counterintuitive. But then again, it’s Vi.

“Why don’t you ask, dipshit?” She laughs.

She’s got a very good point.

“Why do I feel like an idiot every time I talk to you?” Viktor sighs.

“Because you are.”

He had that one coming.

“Okay, okay, let’s go back to the balcony. Finish your pizza and get your shoes off the couch.”

When it gets late, Vi decides to crash on the couch and Viktor goes back to the bedroom to check on Jayce.

Except- Jayce is missing from the bed.

Viktor pushes the adjacent bathroom door open with his cane and finds him standing at the sink with tired, red eyes.

“You smell.” Jayce says quietly with a small smile.

Not the greeting he was expecting, but he’ll take a joke over tears.

“Yeah, I had a smoke with Vi. She’s crashing here tonight.” Viktor explains, “I needed some company, I hope that’s okay.”

Jayce just nods and rubs his eyes.

Viktor wants to ask how are you feeling but remembers how much he personally hates trying to come up with answers to that question himself.

“Do you… feel better or worse after the sleep?” He lands on instead. This or that options are always a bit easier.

Jayce just shrugs in response. He still looks exhausted, and maybe a bit out of it.

“Um, when I feel like shit- I take baths. I can fill the tub, if you want.” Viktor offers.

Jayce thinks for a moment, then nods, still avoiding eye contact.

It’s intimate in a way that reminds him of all those months ago, when Jayce took him home and held him during the Bad Day. He undresses Jayce carefully, without the haste and wanting of previous encounters. Jayce just stands, staring off into space, lifting his arms when needed and stepping out of his pants with some coaxing from Viktor.

When he’s standing there in his boxers and the tub is full and steaming, Viktor steps back. “I’ll leave you to it, okay?”

Jayce finally turns his head to look at Viktor, “Would you stay?”

Viktor’s heart could shatter into a million pieces.

“Not like, in a weird way. Can you just- would you mind?” Jayce pleads, and he doesn’t have to.

Viktor just kisses him gently, “Of course, Jayce.”

They haven’t ever been fully undressed in front of each other before, but Viktor’s surprised that it doesn’t really feel uncomfortable at all because he’s so hyper-focused on caring for Jayce. They sink into the bath across from each other, legs bracketing each other while Viktor rubs a wet washcloth over Jayce’s tear-stained face.

He finds himself humming while rubbing shampoo into Jayce’s hair, careful not to get any of the suds near his eyes. He spends extra time rubbing his scalp with the pad of his fingers because he can feel Jayce’s body visibly relax at the touch, tension leaving with deep exhales. He’s also admittedly still a bit high, and it feels really nice.

A question bubbles to the surface before he has time to bite it back.

“Do you still think about it?” Viktor asks quietly. He’s not sure if he should ask it but he does anyway, because he needs to know. He just does.

Jayce doesn’t seem phased by the broken silence, or the nature of the question at all. He seems to think carefully about his answer, then responds, “Sometimes.”

Viktor’s stomach churns.

“But not like before. Just passing thoughts really.” Jayce says, and it’s so raw and truthful, the way he can casually talk about death this way.

“Will you tell me?” Viktor asks, “When you- when it’s bad. So I can be there.”

Jayce nods, “Yeah. If that’s what you want.”

Viktor nods back and begins rinsing the shampoo out with handfuls of water.

“But will you tell me what happened at the hospital?”

Viktor pauses, just for a moment. Jayce’s intellect always manages to sneak up on him.

It’s not the time for this, not now, not after this day. He can’t lie either, because Jayce will know. Best to tell a half-truth and revisit this later.

“My doctor and I didn’t see eye-to-eye. There was an unpleasant discussion, but I am okay.” Viktor explains. All truths.

Jayce seems to buy it because he doesn’t ask any more about it.

When the water turns cold and they’re both clean, Viktor finds a pair of soft sweats for Jayce to change into and they find their way to bed. He pulls Jayce into his chest, spooning the larger man.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Viktor whispers. He tries not to imagine a world without the incredible person in his arms and instead focuses on the rise and fall of his breathing. Alive and healthy and beautiful.

“Me too.” Jayce whispers back.

When Viktor dreams that night, it’s vivid.

Jayce stands in the rubble of an abandoned building, looking over the city at night. The wind brushes his hair against his face as he approaches the ledge.

Viktor tries to call out to him, to run, to pull him away, but he can’t move and he’s choking on nothing. His bad leg is made of metal, a sinister version of the prototype leg in the lab. It’s bolted to the floor, heavy and unmoving.

When he screams, there’s no air in his lungs.

When he wakes up in a cold sweat, sitting straight up and sending sharp bolts of pain down the bottom of his crooked spine, Jayce is there beside him.

He’s so beautiful. All long eyelashes and golden skin, a small scar across one of his eyebrows. The beard is growing in a bit more and it really suits him. He’s perfect, and Viktor can’t bear to ever lose him.

Viktor very well might be in love with this man. He didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

I don’t think caring for anyone is easy. Vi’s words echo in his head.

Maybe it’s not. Maybe loving Jayce, and allowing Jayce to love him back, is even harder than building a new leg.

On the other hand, it’s easier than breathing.

Chapter Text

Weeks go by.

The spring semester hits with incredible speed after the lull of winter break and Jayce can barely keep up with the assignments and reading and submitting his weekly lab hours. And that’s just the basics. He’s also been completely enraptured by Viktor’s bionic prosthetic project and can’t bring himself to step back from it now, even though he knows his own research is suffering because of it.

All the robotics research he dug up last fall proves very useful in Viktor’s project, and helps them make strides pretty quickly on the mechanics. Jayce knows it means he’ll have to pretty much start from scratch with a different topic for his dissertation, but he loves the way Viktor gets a glint of admiration in his eyes when Jayce knows exactly what study to reference and brings him a copy from his own files, freshly printed and unused.

Heimerdinger approves their blueprints, but the prototype “needs work”. He encourages Viktor to add more medical consultants so that he can eventually start with a case study before trying to publish anything else. 

It’s not a total surprise, they both knew the prototype was hypothetical until it could be tested with custom measurements, but Viktor still acts like he’s been completely rejected and throws a fit afterwards. Jayce runs him a bath and he sits in it like a sad wet cat until the water runs cold.

A case study means a real patient with an existing team of professionals that would all have opinions on how it should be done, which is Viktor’s newest topic of constantly bitching during their lab time together.

“Doctors, hmph.” Viktor grumbles and he tightens a joint on the hip attachment, “What do they know?”

A lot, actually, Jayce thinks. Medical school isn’t exactly a walk in the park from what he knows. But Viktor doesn’t want to hear that right now. Jayce just lets him complain.

“So are you gonna do the case study like Heimer suggested?” Jayce asks, because lately it feels like Viktor is up to something and it wouldn’t be unlike him to have found a way around the advisor’s instructions.

“Of course. I have measurements.” Viktor replies, and that’s news to Jayce.

Jayce and Viktor work well together, but Jayce has mostly been responsible for the mechanisms on the leg, since he’s the unofficial mechanical engineering consultant. Viktor handles all of the more biology-based science, like the sensor placement and the actual needed functions of the leg. They built this prototype off of hypothetical measurements, or at least Jayce assumed they did.

“Wait- you’re already making a new leg?” Jayce asks, confused.

“Does it look like I’m making a new leg, Jayce?” Viktor’s accent is laced with a tone of playful annoyance, and Jayce knows he’s just focused and stressed from the recent pivot the project has taken. Then again, it doesn’t seem like he’s pivoting at all.

“So…” Jayce treads carefully this time, “this leg- it’s custom.”

Viktor sighs and finally sets the tools down, spinning in his chair to face Jayce. He looks exhausted, and still slightly annoyed, but he musters an affectionate smile.

“It’s been a long week. How about you go back to mine, I’ll pick up some food, and I’ll meet you there when I’m done. I won’t work too late tonight, I promise.”

Viktor has been working late. Which is fine, Jayce loves that he’s made strides with his project, but falling asleep alone, even in his boyfriend’s bed, isn’t the same without his actual boyfriend in it.

Not to mention, the sexual experimenting has come to a complete halt as of late. Which is fine. He’ll take spending time with Viktor however he can, and if that’s working in the lab, he seriously does enjoy it. Jayce isn’t some asshole that only cares about sex, it’s just- the sex is great. And he’d like to have more of it. But he doesn’t want to push.

And they haven’t actually had sex yet, in the literal sense. Which is also fine. Totally fine.

“Yeah. That sounds great.” Jayce nods and takes the keys from Viktor, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head before he spins back around toward the prototype.

Sue him if he hopes that Viktor’s promise of finishing up early might also be a promise of something else tonight.

When he arrives back at Viktor’s apartment, he’s already worked himself up into a bit of a flustered state thinking about the tiny sliver of possibility he might be able to have Viktor all to himself in bed for the first time in weeks.

He falls into his usual routine of tidying Viktor’s place (because god forbid the man ever do his own cleaning), but at a more rushed pace than usual. He splashes water on himself several times while speeding through hand-washing all of the dirty pots and pans on the stovetop, so he sheds his shirt and throws it into the wash along with all of the random piles of clothes around the apartment. He carefully separates Viktor’s nicer, more delicate sweaters and slacks and sets them aside for a gentler cycle.

When the apartment starts to look less like a disaster and more just generally untidy, he heads to the bathroom to clean up.

Standing shirtless in the mirror, he examines himself and scratches at the new beard. It could also use some tidying. He uses a razor to clean up the edges and by the time he’s done, it actually looks quite good. Viktor is a visionary. Not surprising.

He applies deodorant. Then cologne. More cologne. Fuck , maybe that’s overboard. He sniffs himself. It’s strong, but the scent is nice so maybe Viktor won’t mind.

It’s only when he finally relaxes on the bed for a minute that he fully panics.

I don’t know what I’m doing. Oh fuck, and Viktor does.

Wait, no, that’s not true. Sure, he’s never done this before but he’s had sex. And he’s watched porn, lots of it, for research purposes.

He walks himself through the process mentally. Viktor has mentioned that he likes control , so maybe he tops. Why hasn’t he asked him that yet? He should know that.

Doesn’t matter. He should be prepared for either.

Option 1: Viktor is a bottom. Jayce fucks Viktor. Jayce knows how to fuck somebody, and Viktor seems confident enough to let him know how he likes it anyways, so not much to worry about there.

Option 2: Viktor is top. Viktor fucks Jayce.

Jayce’s cheeks redden and he suddenly feels hot all over, even without a shirt on in February with Viktor’s shitty central heating system.

He definitely needs to be better prepared for Option 2.

Then, he doesn’t know what possesses him, but he quickly yanks down his pants and kicks them off the bed. He’s already half-hard, which causes him to choke out a small laugh at how ridiculous this entire thing is. He’s laying naked in his boyfriend’s bed, getting worked up just thinking about the possibility of having sex tonight.

He rolls over and takes a wild guess at the bottom drawer of Viktor’s bedside table. There- exactly where he thought it would be- a small bottle of lube.

And- holy shit, not just lube. There’s a lot of sex stuff in there, and Jayce doesn’t recognize half of it.

He snatches the bottle and slams the drawer shut. He’ll revisit that later, with more coherent thoughts.

The bottle snaps open with one push of his thumb, and he carefully squeezes out a small amount on his finger as a test. It’s cool to the touch, and when he rolls his thumb and finger together to spread it around, it’s slick, as expected.

Note to self: a little goes a long way. Do not embarrass yourself and squeeze a shampoo-amount into palm during hot sex with hot boyfriend.

He squeezes a little more out, enough to thoroughly cover his finger, and stares at it.

Fuck, okay. Here goes nothing.

He reaches down between his legs and- shit - the lube feels colder there.

Second note to self: do not flinch and jump two feet off the bed when hot boyfriend touches you in places you have never been touched before with cold fingers.

He tries not to think too much about what he’s doing, so he holds his breath and presses the tip of his finger inside. 

It doesn’t feel… good. It feels a bit weird, like it’s not supposed to be there. When he tries to push further, it burns.

He retracts the finger and adds more lube, determined.

It burns less on the second try, but he’s not sure if he would exactly call it pleasurable. Maybe he needs more.

He spreads more lube, this time on two of his fingers, and reaches back down. When he tries to push inwards, it hurts and he instinctively flinches away.

This was such a bad idea. What is he doing?

Abandoning the experiment entirely, half out of nerves and the other out of sheer embarrassment, he leaves the bed and shrugs his boxers back on.

He’s brushing his teeth for the third time when he finally hears the sound of Viktor unlocking the front door.

“I’m in the bathroom!” He shouts, mouth full of toothpaste, probably unintelligible.

There’s a rustling of plastic bags (probably their food) and then the tapping of Viktor’s cane approaching.

Jayce spits into the sink, gargles some water, and turns to see Viktor standing in the bedroom.

“Hey, V, I was just-”

Viktor is not looking at him. He’s looking at the bed, where- fuck- Jayce left the bottle of lube amoungst the sheets like a complete idiot.

“You were just what?” Viktor looks over to him, amused.

Jayce opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. He wants to scream. He wants to disintegrate into a pile of dust to avoid this conversation.

“Experimenting? Without me?” Viktor raises a hand to his chest to feign shock, still smirking with so much fucking amusement at this situation. It would be hilarious if it weren’t the most utterly embarrassing moment of Jayce’s life.

“I-” Jayce still doesn’t have any words to defend himself with. The evidence lays there clear as day. Lock him up for life.

It’s dead silent except the tap, tap, of Viktor’s cane as he approaches the taller man confidently.

“Out with it.” He whispers, voice low and aroused, and Jayce can never ever fight against it when Viktor gets like this.

“I just wanted to make sure…” Jayce’s words tumble out of his mouth without much thought, “I could do it. Just in case.”

“And could you?”

“No.”

Viktor frowns, “No?”

Jayce bites his lip and looks up at the ceiling, wishing he was anywhere but here having to admit to fingering himself in Viktor’s bedroom and worst of all, apparently not even doing it right.

“Did it hurt?” Viktor asks, and his voice changes from teasing to a more gentle curiosity.

Jayce winces and nods.

“Hm, that makes sense. You’re always so eager, you probably went too fast.” Viktor explains, voice painfully analytical for the subject.

The problem is, now Jayce is fully hard in his boxers despite wanting to evaporate.

“The first time should be slow. You have to be patient, take your time. I doubt you were able to.” Viktor hums, moving his hand to palm at Jayce through his boxers, and he bites back a groan.

“Jayce.”

Jayce looks back down at Viktor, which is a mistake, because his honey eyes are blown wide with lust and his cheeks are flushed with wanting.

“Do you want me to show you how?”

His mind is made up about it pretty quickly, and they wordlessly move to the bed. Viktor pulls Jayce’s boxers off nonchalantly, flinging them onto the floor and then uncaps the lube one-handed, which shouldn’t be that hot but it is.

Jayce is lying there completely naked, feeling ridiculously exposed, and Viktor just pushes his sleeves up and begins coating his fingers in the lube, tossing the bottle aside. 

He braces himself for the coldness between his legs again but he’s taken by surprise when one of Viktor’s hands wraps itself around Jayce instead, and he lets out a soft moan.

“Oh, you neglected yourself.” Viktor pouts, clocking his surprise, “Easy mistake. Always start here.”

Jayce feels like he should be taking notes, but with the way Viktor is talking and touching him there’s no way he’s retaining any of this. They haven’t even started and he feels undone under the man’s gaze.

It isn’t until Jayce has completely forgotten the purpose of all of this that Viktor dares to move his second hand underneath the first, also slick with lube but warmer than when Jayce tried himself. He still flinches, just slightly, and Viktor shushes him.

“Relax. It’s better if you focus on relaxing your body.” Viktor continues coaching and presses the tip of his finger inside.

While it still feels a bit foreign, it’s much more erotic this time and he doesn’t mind the feeling as much. Viktor works the first knuckle back and forth, taking his time and matching the rhythm of both hands on Jayce.

When he does push past the second knuckle, Jayce gasps.

“Good.” Viktor breathes, still going at a slow, almost lazy pace. It’s not enough to work Jayce up too much but instead it keeps him in a floaty, pleasure-induced headspace.

Viktor was right, Jayce went too fast, because this feels completely different and very, very good compared to whatever he was trying to do earlier.

After a while, Viktor tests a second finger, and Jayce winces at the burn but it fades quickly, replaced with that same insanely erotic sensation of Viktor’s long, delicate fingers inside of him.

“Good, Jayce.” Viktor praises again, almost impressed, and that shouldn’t affect Jayce as much as it does.

Then Viktor’s fingers curl upwards suddenly and Jayce’s breath hitches.

He does it again and this time it sends a wave of electricity through his body. Fuck, that’s good.

“Wha-”

“Sh. Relax.” Viktor cuts him off, and his face is now determined, both hands moving faster.

He should say something about the fact that Viktor is on his knees and his brace is still on and he remembers somewhere in his clouded mind that Viktor specifically said he doesn’t do well on his knees but the thought is long gone once the pace quickens.

Jayce can only pant and throw his head back as Viktor abandons the lethargic pace from before and works his hands rapidly, chasing it like it’s his own pleasure. He hits that spot again, and again, and Jayce can’t believe how quickly it all happens, he doesn’t even get the chance to warn Viktor before-

“Ah-!” He gasps as he reaches the point of release out of nowhere and Viktor works him through it, mouth parted in awe. Almost as if it’s as good for him as it is for Jayce.

When he comes down, breathing heavily, Viktor wipes his hands on his pants and leans back with a pained hiss.

“Fuck-” Jayce sits up, still breathless, “Your leg.”

“It’s okay, Jayce” Viktor nods, straightening it out on the bed and rubbing it with the heel of his hand. “Worth it, trust me.”

Viktor glances over at Jayce’s body, eyebrows raised, “You should probably clean up though.”

Oh, yeah. Probably.

“Right, ha.” Jayce laughs and stands from the bed with only slightly wobbly legs. Viktor stifles a laugh.

“I trust that was eh, better? Yes?” He hears Viktor’s voice from the bathroom as he does his best to clean up. He shrugs his boxers back on and runs his fingers through the wild, grown-out strands of hair in the mirror.

Jayce laughs, “Yeah- yeah you could say that.”

He returns to the bedroom with a small towel for Viktor to wipe his hands on, and leans down to kiss him. Viktor hums into his mouth.

“I’ve been busy. I’m sorry.” He says when he pulls away. “I don’t want you to- I mean of course, your free time is… yours, but I don’t want you to be ashamed. If there’s something you want to try just- say it.”

He’s fiddling with the latch on his brace as he talks, and Jayce knows that means he’s nervous. Why Viktor of all people would be nervous is a mystery to him.

“I’m not.” Jayce moves his hand over Viktor’s and begins to unlatch the brace properly to remove it. “I’m not ashamed. It’s just new. And maybe I got curious and wanted to see if I liked it before I, uh, embarrassed myself.”

“So…” Viktor lingers on the vowel, warped slightly with his accent, “You liked it?”

Jayce chuckles, “I liked it.”

Viktor still looks so uncharacteristically anxious.

“So you’d like for me to…y’know, when we-”

Jayce’s eyes widen, “Oh- oh, I mean if you want to, yeah. Yeah I’m cool with uh, either way. Top or bottom, I guess, is what I mean.”

Viktor finally smiles. It’s a rare, bashful smile. “I’m cool with either too, so… that’s good to know I guess.”

Jayce feels like a dumb high schooler all over again, sitting on the edge of the bed with Viktor trying to talk about sex. His heart flutters, and Viktor has the absolute cutest blush across his face. He feels like admitting to a crush, forgetting that they’ve been dating almost two months at this point.

He wants to kiss Viktor so badly. And then he remembers he can.

So he kisses him until they’re both giggling and entirely forgetting about the food that’s long gone cold, still in plastic bags on the countertop.

Chapter Text

“What did Heimerdinger want?” Viktor asks when he hears the door to the lab swing open, along with familiar heavy footsteps trudging to the desk on his partner’s side of the room.

It’s funny how in his mind, Viktor still thinks of the lab as having “sides”. The lines blurred long ago, and visually it’s impossible to tell where either side truly stops. Viktor’s messenger bag hangs with Jayce’s puffer jacket beside the front door. The almost fully realized bionic leg prototype lies propped up across both workbenches pushed together in the middle of the room. Jayce’s notes on Viktor’s desk. Viktor’s blueprints on Jayce’s desk. Their handwriting scribbled together over every surface: annotations, the chalkboards, sticky notes plastered against everything.

As he admires the way their workplace is interwoven, his eyes land on Jayce, collapsed in the desk chair with his head in his hands.

“Jayce?” Viktor asks, face falling instantly.-

He just groans and one of his hands threads into his hair, squeezing tight.

Viktor pushes away from the bench and grabs his cane to close the distance quickly.

He doesn’t say anything at first, because Jayce is tense and wound up like he might snap under pressure, knuckles white in his hair and teeth gritted.

When he lets out a huff of air and drops his hands, Viktor can see his eyes are red from crying.

“My midterm report failed. Essentially.” He admits into the silence, voice hoarse in a way that makes Viktor want to twist into knots.

“What? What do you-”

“They weren’t impressed. Heimer said he expected more, that he- that I was projected to be top of my class and I’m… at the bottom. ” Jayce slams his first on the desk and Viktor startles. “He asked what I have to show for this semester so far and I- Viktor, I have nothing. If I don’t have a proposal ready soon they’ll…”

Viktor puts the pieces together instantly. Jayce is afraid of repeating his mistakes at the Kirammen Institute. He’s afraid of missing his second chance and falling back into that same place he was last year. He doesn’t have to say it aloud for Viktor to understand.

“Hey, hey- we’ll figure something out. We have time.” Viktor tilts Jayce’s chin up towards him. He gives a weak smile.

“Sorry, it’s-” Jayce tears his gaze away, “It’s my own fault. Let’s just finish up for the day, yeah?”

Viktor doesn’t want to let him brush it off like this. He knows it’s a fixable problem, but still a big deal for Jayce. A big scare. A reminder of something dark from his past that’s resurfacing all of the trauma he’s neatly tried to pack away.

But he doesn’t press. Because it’s not Jayce’s fault, it’s his.

Jayce has been spending all of his time on Viktor's project. Giving his research to Viktor. Neglecting his work for the sake of the bionic leg that Viktor is developing.

And in a horrible way it means that if Jayce fails, the one to blame here is Viktor himself.

So he lets Jayce organize his notes in silence and returns to the prototype, stricken with guilt.

They don’t talk much on the way home. The winter season has reached that point of late February where it’s gone on far too long, past the coziness of the holiday season and the freshness of the new year, and towards dark days and frost-bitten cobblestone.

Viktor hates this time of year. There’s no distraction from the way the cold makes his pain worse, flare ups more frequent than they ever have been to the point where Jayce has already threatened to drive him to the hospital again twice this month. He doesn’t because Viktor begs, because Viktor snaps and becomes all serrated edges and biting remarks when he’s in pain and he just hates, hates the hospital and his doctors and everything about it.

The hospital reminds him too much of his childhood; it was the only consistent thing until he was old enough to dive into more challenging school work as an outlet. He always loved school. Maybe that’s why he keeps coming back to the horrors of academia, afraid to face the world without the promise of more to study. There’s so much to study. He’ll never be done.

The other reason he refuses to go back, the one gnawing in his gut, is that he can’t. He technically fired his doctor last time he was there, and he hasn’t bothered to find a new one. If Jayce knew, he’d totally freak out and make those horrible wet eyes at him like he’s kicked a puppy or something.

On the other hand, Viktor supposes that’s not fair. Jayce is an adult man. A man that also happens to be a brilliant phd candidate. He would freak out because freaking out is merited when you’re dating someone in Viktor’s condition that doesn’t have a doctor.

He should get a new doctor. Preferably before Jayce finds out. Save him the stress.

They finally reach Viktor’s apartment, noses and ears bitten with the cold from the walk, and Jayce unlocks it for them with a spare key dangling from his hand that Viktor had made for him earlier this week. It’s so domestic, probably too fast, but the way Jayce smiled made him forget his hesitation.

“I’m gonna draw a bath, if you wanna join.” Viktor mumbles, stretching and hearing something pop where it probably shouldn’t.

Jayce just hums in response, still in a bit of a sour mood for the advisor meeting, but Viktor figures he just needs some time and space to unwind.

In the bathroom, Viktor runs the water until it’s steaming, and adds the herbal bath oil that Jayce always likes to add for him. The smell is starting to remind him of Jayce. Honestly, there’s way too much that reminds him of Jayce here in his own apartment that thinking about it too much scares him.

He looks for the pain meds from the hospital he took home back in December, only to find an empty bottle he never discarded in the pile. Fuck, he forgot he took the last one two days ago. Jayce is always telling him he needs to reorganize his meds.

A bath will have to do, then. That’s fine.

“Jayce?” He calls out, “Are you coming?”

He strips his shirt and flings it. The steam from the bath is starting to fog up the mirror, turning Viktor’s slight frame into a pale blur with a smudge of brown hair.

“Jayce?” He calls again.

Always so distracted. He’s probably doing the damn dishes again, using all the hot water. Hot water that should be used for thawing stiff stubborn bones.

He sighs and grabs the cane again, rounding the corner and returning to the bedroom doorway.

“Earth to Jayce. Bath’s ready.” 

Jayce is standing at the long table shoved against the wall that splits the kitchen from the living room. It was once intended to be a dining table, but instead houses all of the junk that Viktor doesn’t have a place for.

Jayce is standing there over the pile of old research, textbooks, knick-knacks, and empty DVD cases, holding a stack of papers with a concerned expression.

“What- Viktor, what is this?” His voice is quiet, like a whisper, and his eyes are darting over the fine text.

“What’s what?” Viktor asks, because now he’s concerned. Because what could possibly be in a pile of junk mail that Jayce would find so interesting? Is he paying too much for his electric bill?

“Request to leave against medical advice… Viktor, this is from December.” Jayce now frowns, and oh no.

Viktor just grips his cane as he releases what’s about to unfold.

“...without the authority of and against the advice of my attending physician. The medical risks have been explained to me by a member of the medical staff and I understand those risks, including additional pain or suffering, permanent disability or disfigurement, d-death?!”

Jayce looks equally terrified and furious as he reads the form and it sounds… yeah, it sounds really bad. When you put it that way.

“Jayce, hold on-”

“You signed this!” Jayce holds up the form and points to the signature at the bottom that Viktor now deeply regrets. Because Jayce has snapped. Whatever tension he was holding all day- Viktor’s scrawled name on this piece of paper has released it dramatically.

“I did, Jayce, but I always-”

“Do not… do not tell me you always sign this form . Please don’t tell me that. How could you do that?” Jayce’s voice breaks, pitching upwards as his fury mixes with something close to heartbreak.

Viktor can’t answer that because there’s no answer that will take away how fucking awful it is.

“What did you say no to?” Jayce asks, and the anger is gone, he looks desperate, scared, and it’s almost worse. He’d rather Jayce yell at him than do this. “Oh god, how much have you said no to?”

“It’s just-” Viktor’s voice cracks, god, “I didn’t want more surgeries. I-” I hate hospitals, he wants to say, but it sounds so stupid.

“You refused a surgery?” Jayce’s eyes widen.

Viktor winces. Said aloud, this all sounds so much worse.

“I needed more time. The project- I didn’t want to put it on pause for…” Viktor sighs, defeated, and gestures to himself, “all of this.”

“Viktor.” Jayce breathes, and the tone is different this time. It’s not scolding, or disappointed. It’s… affectionate. How odd. “Your health is so much more important than the project.”

It’s not, it’s really not. The project could improve so many lives. The surgery would just improve his, and that’s not even a guarantee.

But the way Jayce is looking at him screams you are so important to me. The most important.

“I know.” Viktor nods, lying.

“Do you?”

No. No, I don’t. I’m trying to understand. I’m trying to care about myself the way you do but it’s so fucking hard. How is it so easy for you? How?

“I’m-” He sputters, “I’ll talk to them. I’ll ask about the surgery, okay? For you.”

A lie.

I’m horrible, Jayce, I’m lying. I’m lying to you and you’re gonna believe me because you trust easy and you love easy and this is too hard for me.

“Please, Viktor. Just- please just talk to them. We can see if we can schedule it over the summer or something, I’m sure.” Jayce says, brightening up with that smile again.

“Okay.” Viktor nods.

Okay.

Okay.

A lie.

///

That weekend, Jayce meets Cait and Vi at their old haunt- a run-down bowling alley downtown called The Lanes. It’s in a dead part of town, not far from where Viktor dragged him to Sevika’s tattoo shop. The shoe rentals smell weird and the food is terrible, but it’s nostalgic and Jayce loves bowling because it’s the one thing he can beat Cait at.

Viktor doesn’t come, citing some new breakthrough with the prosthetic sensors, even though Jayce pouts about it. It’s fine really, because Jayce knows Viktor needs his space and they have been spending almost every waking moment together recently.

It’s just, after the whole thing with the hospital forms, it’s been so weird between them. Viktor already hates talking about his medical needs, and now he’s completely shut Jayce out, right when he felt he was finally making progress with Viktor letting him in.

He asks Viktor about the doctor, if he’s made an appointment. He asks what kind of surgery he needs. Viktor only becomes colder with each poke and prod, and Jayce knows he should just leave it but he can’t.

Viktor barely sleeps, barely eats, and all Jayce can do is try to help him while balancing his own coursework to stay afloat.

“It sounds scary but surgery is not a huge deal, Jayce. My sister got her finger blown off a couple years back and they sewed that sucker right back on. Easy.” Vi shrugs and chucks a bowling ball with impressive force, sending the pins flying. She’s currently in the lead, to both Jayce and Cait’s horror.

“I don’t think it’s that kind of surgery, Vi.” Cait says flatly, clearly getting competitive. Just a few minutes ago she was coaching Vi, now she’s shut up almost completely. 

Vi grabs another ball and bowls the remaining pins over, barely even looking, “And she was loopy from the meds, which was hilarious. You better take videos of Viktor. I bet he’d be hilarious.”

Cait is fully scowling at the scoreboard, which is showing some cheesy animation of a fist floating down and punching the pins.

“He gets all stupid and sappy when he smokes. You should have heard him at the Christmas party.” Vi teases, imitating Viktor’s accent horribly, “Jayce Talis. My boyfriend.”

Jayce blushes, and he desperately wants to hear more about the fact that Viktor is saying things like that to people, but he focuses instead on the matter at hand.

“I don’t even know what the surgery is, or if there’s more than one, or-” Jayce pinches the bridge of his nose, “he seems to think it’s going to affect his dissertation project. He’s been obsessed with it lately.”

On Caitlyn's turn, she bowls a split- two pins on either side of the lane, almost impossible to hit both. She huffs, focuses, and sends the second ball down with perfect form.

It hits the left pin which bounces over to graze the right one, which wobbles, and-

Stays standing.

“Damn babe, good round though.” Vi calls out. 

Caitlyn ignores her and turns to Jayce sharply, “Your turn.”

“You’re a terrible sport.” Vi laughs when she moves to sit on the opposite side of the bench, crossing her arms.

Jayce leaves 3 pins standing and misses all of them on the second ball. He’s off his game.

“I just wish he would talk to me about it.” He sighs.

“Give him some time to figure it out. He’s used to doing all of this himself. It’s probably going to take some adjusting for him.” Cait suggests, and Jayce knows she’s right.

She’s right, but something still feels so wrong about all of it.

That night, Viktor doesn’t come home from the lab. It’s early morning when the front door to Viktor’s apartment creaks open, dim blue light peaking through the blinds before the sunrise.

Jayce can hear him fiddling with the mechanisms of the braces and the rattle of pill bottles in the bathroom before the mattress bends to accommodate a second body. Viktor slots in behind Jayce under the covers, kissing the nape of his neck and splaying his cold fingers across his chest.

“Prototype’s done.” He mumbles.

Even in the haze of sleep, Jayce can detect something dark at the edge’s of Viktor’s voice. The obsession that’s held him as of recent is still there, contradicting the statement of it being finished. Jayce knows, somewhere in his subconscious, that the prototype can’t be done, that there’s still tests to run and paperwork that can’t be skipped.

“M’okay. Sleep now.” Jayce responds, ignoring the thoughts.

“I’ve got a doctor’s appointment in two hours.” Viktor sighs, nuzzling in closer.

Jayce exhales in relief. It’s horrible timing, but at least it’s happening. He’ll force Viktor to nap later this afternoon.

“M’okay. Sleep for an hour.”

Chapter Text

Viktor’s gone when Jayce wakes up in the morning.

It’s not surprising, but Jayce still reaches for that empty spot and groans when he finds himself alone in the bed. The pillow beside him still smells like Viktor’s dry shampoo and Jayce shamelessly buries his face in it.

He knows there will be mornings like this. Even before their feelings spilled out, Jayce knew Viktor was driven by his work, married to it in a way, and he would never try to compete. Jayce knows the work he’s doing is important. He can live with a few mornings without him now and then. He’ll take whatever Viktor is willing to give, at this point.

There’s no evidence of Viktor in the kitchen, not even a cold, half-drank mug of coffee, meaning he left in a rush. Jayce wonders if he even got that hour of sleep.

It’s unlikely Viktor ate any breakfast, or even dinner last night, so Jayce begins to scrounge up supplies for sandwiches.

He’s slowly learning how to care for this man, as maddening as it can be. Viktor is stubborn, and also genius, in a way that’s obsessive and fascinating and also kind of terrifying. It’s rare for Jayce to have an academic equal, but even sometimes in the thrill of innovation he’s not sure where exactly Viktor is going with all of this.

He packs the sandwiches up into two brown bags, carefully tucks them into his backpack, and heads out on the short walk to the lab. Surely Viktor will appear there at some point today, if the doctor’s appointment doesn’t go horribly wrong. He tries not to think about that scenario as much as possible.

It’s still so fucking cold out, as winter clings to the earth in a desperate attempt to stay stay stay, keeping the grass dead and the trees bare and the air painful on bare skin. It’s so cold that the little spaces between his gloves and his sleeve sting when he shifts his hands, and he pulls his beanie down over his ears to try and cover as much of himself from the wind as possible.

Jayce is gasping for breath by the time he gets to the lab, even with the shorter walk from Viktor’s place. He strips the gloves off instantly and rubs his hands together to try to restore feeling in his fingers.

After briefly thawing to curb the numbness, he drops one of the sandwich bags on Viktor’s desk and falls into his usual routine. Hang up coat, check. Start up laptop, check. See if Viktor added notes to the chalkboard, check (there’s a lot of them, and some new sticky notes too). Set up the workbench, ch-

The prototype is gone.

“Oh, shit. Oh shit.” Jayce whispers, whipping his head wildly around the room.

The prototype is gone.

The prototype is gone.

Okay, relax. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Jayce thinks for a moment, and practices those anti-anxiety tips he reads online when Viktor is asleep and not able to peek at his phone. 

Think of the best and worst case scenario. It’s probably somewhere in between.

Best case scenario: Viktor took it home to work on it. He takes his notes home all the time. It’s not far fetched to think he’d want to take the leg home to work out the kinks, right?

Although Jayce would’ve seen a robotic leg in Viktor’s apartment. That would be pretty hard to miss.

Also unlikely Viktor was able to carry it by himself walking home.

Jayce takes a deep breath. It’s still possible.

Worst case scenario: Somebody broke in, stole it, and is going to take all of the credit for Viktor’s life-changing invention.

“Fuck.” Jayce mutters, biting at his lip and already jittering with anxiety, “Okay, if they stole it, they’d steal the notes too.”

Viktor keeps multiple journals of mindless scribbles, but the ones that matter he puts in a leather-bound notebook with a brass clasp. He’s seen him transcribe Jayce’s mechanical notes into it whenever they made final decisions for each draft of the design. If someone was going to steal something, they would take that notebook. Everything is all there.

It’s missing from Viktor’s desk, but nothing looks out of place besides the brown sandwich bag sitting on a pile of old notes.

When he pulls out the flat extension underneath the desktop, he exhales a sigh of relief at the sight of the journal, laying open with a pencil on top. Okay, this is a good sign.

He smiles and traces his hand over the familiar scribble of Viktor’s handwriting. He’s tried to make it more legible here, as it seems less hurried and more careful, but still slants as if he can’t keep up with the pace of his own thoughts.

12/24: Dr refused to entertain the idea, recommended psychiatric consult

Wait… what?

1/29: Road bump with ethics board, operation too “experimental”

Jayce’s eyes widen as he skims the page. It’s wrong, standing here at Viktor’s desk reading his notes. His personal notes.

Personal notes that are in his dissertation report journal. Why would he write about this here?

Jayce’s hands are shaking when he flips the page backwards. There’s a surprisingly accurate sketch of a human body with a dotted line and measurements on one leg. It’s been erased and rewritten a few times, judging by the smudges.

12/17: Ideal amputation site notated in diagram- sensors need more muscle mass than initially intended to read signals. Nerve grafting needed to reduce pain?

Something about it makes Jayce taste bile in the back of his throat. His hand moves again on its own, flipping the page as his brain fights to keep up with the rapid intake of new information. Viktor never, never shared these notes with him. This whole time they’ve been working on the project together, these diagrams are new. Something Viktor purposefully hid.

12/15: remove at hip joint??? Leg could be inserted into socket joint. Consult surgeon.

12/12: all measurements finalized, see brace notes

There’s a copy taped in of the schematics of Viktor’s leg brace from his master’s thesis. Jayce’s stomach sinks.

The bionic leg is for Viktor.

He knew, he knew deep down all along but the confirmation makes it too real. Impossible to ignore. He’d only hoped it was hypothetical, that it would take years, that surely Viktor was smart enough to realize how-

“Jayce?”

He looks up, heart pounding in his ears, to find Viktor in the doorway holding the prototype against his chest.

Jayce is stunned into silence for a moment as they stare at each other from across the room, frozen in place. It takes him a moment to find the words, because there are no words, nothing he can say. The horror of it all comes crashing down on him and he knows he should’ve realized all of this sooner.

“The prototype is-” Jayce chokes, unable to say it. “These are-”

He points to the notes with a shaking hand, “These are your measurements.”

Viktor approaches cautiously, setting the leg down carefully on the workbench and never taking his eyes off of Jayce’s wavering form.

“Yes.” He answers simply.

Jayce reels again, fighting to stay focused and not let his mind linger on the images surfacing.

“We- Viktor, we designed this for amputees.” Jayce’s voice comes out pleading, although it’s not a question. He drags his eyes down to the brace encasing Viktor’s bad leg.

It’s still there. Oh thank god, it’s still there.

Viktor takes a deep breath, somehow calm and collected, like he was prepared for this.

He steps closer, “Yes. We did.” His eyes flick towards where his notebook is open in front of Jayce. “I take it you’ve figured this out. You’re a smart man.”

“I thought you were too! This is insane.” Jayce spits, and he doesn’t know where it comes from, but it sounds so angry.

Viktor is taken aback, a flash of hurt in his expression.

“I told you this when we first met. When we talked about my master’s thesis.” He nods to the schematics on the page. “Assistive devices only go so far. Replacing the leg was always the plan, Jayce. From the beginning.”

Jayce shakes his head, “No, no- Viktor, that was- you can’t… your plan was amputation?” He flips the page and holds up the notebook. “You got shut down by The Board of Ethics?!”

“A minor setback.” Viktor sighs, leaning both hands on his cane. He looks exhausted.

Neither of them have enough fight for this. It’s not the time for it, Jayce’s emotions are too high and Viktor hasn’t eaten probably all day, running on that measly hour of sleep, fueled only by some desperate need to solve a problem that doesn’t need to be solved. 

And Jayce is angry. He’s angry that Viktor would care so little about his own body. He’s angry and hurt and tired but mostly heartbroken that this man- this beautiful man- would hate a part of himself so much that he would turn to something so horrifying and drastic.

“Will you stop acting like this isn’t a big deal? Your-” Jayce’s voice finally cracks and his eyes fill with tears, “Your leg, Viktor.”

“I don’t want it! Do you know what my doctor said? Last time I was there? Hm?” Viktor stands up straight and his voice is more stern. He doesn’t yell, he focuses in and tugs at the string he knows to pull.

“I’m gathering that he told you that you can’t just cut off your body parts when they-”

“He told me I’d end up in a wheelchair!” Viktor grits through his teeth, sharp enough to stop Jayce in his tracks.

Jayce looks into Viktor’s eyes, and oh, they’re welling with tears.

“Viktor,” Jayce’s voice softens.

“A wheelchair, Jayce! But this-” He gestures to the leg on the workbench, “I could fix everything with this, I wouldn’t even need the cane!”

Jayce moves in front of the desk and grabs Viktor’s free hand. He’s so desperate, so tired, and Jayce wants so badly to take it all away, all that fear.

He hates that there’s a part of Viktor, now unfolding and revealing itself, that thinks somehow Jayce’s love is conditional. That Jayce could ever decide all of this is too much.

With Jayce’s hand brushing softly against his cheek, Viktor’s voice wavers quietly, “I could fix everything.”

“There’s nothing to fix.” Jayce says simply, because it’s true, it’s so true and it’s a crime Viktor doesn’t know, “You’re not broken.”

Finally, finally the tears start to fall across Viktor’s cheeks. His words come out hoarse and desperate, a last-ditch effort to push away but it’s half-hearted, “You don’t understand, Jayce. I- I’m getting worse and- and I don’t want you to-”

“You were never broken, Viktor.”

Viktor’s voice falters, locking tearful eyes with Jayce in a long moment of stunned silence. Jayce holds his gaze, hoping his partner is able to see the authenticity behind the words. The weight of them. The unspoken I love you.

Suddenly, Viktor surges forward and crashes their lips together. Jayce instantly brings his hands up to support him, like he’s done it all his life, as his cane goes clattering to the ground.

The kiss is passionate, as tears smudge against skin and taste like salt on Jayce’s mouth, but there’s a need there that’s unspoken but screaming: I need you to want me. I need to know the conditions of your love, or else I’ll fall so hard I’ll never be the same.

“Say it again, I don’t believe you.” Viktor whispers between kisses, but he’s already gone.

Jayce obliges anyway, “You’re not broken. Never, V.”

“I love you.” Viktor gasps, clutching the collar of Jayce’s shirt like a lifeline, “I’m scared, I’m so scared.”

“I know. I know, I love you. I fucking love you-” Jayce kisses Viktor again, again, again.

If only Viktor knew how unconditional it was, how far he’d go. How he’d fight, what he’d sacrifice. He’d cheat death if it meant another moment here, pressed against each other, kissing each other like it’s their reason to breathe.

It’s messy and needy. Jayce barely comes up for air and ends up hitting their teeth together and tugging too hard on Viktor’s bottom lip, which causes a small, beautiful moan to escape his partner’s mouth. It goes straight to his head and the room spins, and for a moment all he wants is to make Viktor make that sound again and again.

Then he blinks away back into clarity and realizes they’re still in the lab.

“V-” He gasps when Viktor’s mouth latches onto the base of his neck and sucks hard.

“Viktor, we need to- oh fuck- ” Jayce breathes, leaning his head back as the other man sucks a desperate little bruise into his skin.

Viktor releases with a pop and gazes up, lips slick and swollen, “What could be so important, Jayce?” He hangs on the name, almost slurred with lust.

Jayce forgets what he was going to say. Just for a moment.

“We- I wanna take you home. I want- you deserve a bed, I wanna make you feel good-”

“No, here. In the lab. Our lab.” Viktor interrupts and tightens his grip on Jayce’s shirt. “This is where it should be. We’ve done such amazing things here, Jayce, and I-”

“And what?”

“And I think I’ll die if we don’t have sex right now.”

///

Viktor feels a violent shiver run down his whole body when Jayce backs him up into the workbench, lips locked in hypnotic patterns without breaking as he carefully lifts Viktor up onto the surface.

It feels different, completely different than any time he can remember being intimate with someone. The lust, the wanting is the same. Being lost in the anticipation of pleasure and hanging on every little touch, every sound.

But Viktor feels something slightly terrifying and new. He’s losing control, the precious reigns that allow him to carefully conduct the encounter to his liking, they’re slipping from his grasp.

And he doesn’t hate it.

It’s there still, the control, fuzzy in the peripheral, and he knows he could say the right thing and turn the whole dynamic on its head easily. Jayce wants to be praised, wants to be wanted, but Viktor feels his own want overshadowed by the way Jayce touches him like an act of worship.

They undress between kisses, clothes falling to the floor in a pool when Jayce is standing, hands somehow never leaving Viktor in the tangle of the fabric.

Then Jayce kneels, carefully setting Viktor’s newly removed leg brace aside (with far more patience than Viktor himself has ever had with it), and begins removing his shoes. Viktor will kill him with his bare hands for the painstaking attention to detail.

He goes to just kick the shoes off but Jayce stops him with a gentle hand and looks up.

“Let me.” He smiles, finishing the laces and sliding the first shoe off with nimble hands.

Viktor bites back a million things he could say to make Jayce work faster. He knows he would just have to say it, to fight back for the control, to order Jayce around like he’s done several times before (besides, Jayce likes it to his own surprise every time), but he doesn’t. He just watches with wide eyes.

With the shoes and socks now gone, Jayce places a simple kiss on the top of each foot and brings his hands up to massage the bottom of his bad one with his thumbs. Viktor sucks in a breath and exhales it slowly.

“How am I supposed to give you a foot massage with a prosthetic?” Jayce mumbles.

Ridiculous. Ridiculous man.

“I’m sure with more time I can create some sort of artificial nerve system that links to the sensors.” Viktor shrugs playfully. He won’t admit that it does feel good, the deep pressure applied by those strong, mechanic’s hands.

“Mmm, how?” Jayce hums, dragging his hands up the bad leg and sitting up on his knees to reach the zipper of Viktor’s pants.

Viktor smirks, although red in the face from the proximity of Jayce’s mouth so close to the heat between his legs in this position, “Oh, are you getting off on this?”

“Maybe.” Jayce smirks back, pulling the pants down as Viktor lifts his hips carefully to help him.

He drags the pants down both legs and then folds them, for god’s sake, setting them aside.

“Shouldn’t be surprised science is your dirty talk, you freak.” Viktor rolls his eyes.

Jayce just chuckles and returns his hand to Viktor’s leg, now at the ankle, working his way up the calf with the same lethargic massage. Viktor sighs and decides to play the game.

“Well I was already doing some research on nerve grafting, since eh, the nerves will have nowhere to go and that’s the most common cause of- mm, phantom limb pain.”

“Yeah?” Jayce breathes, squeezing the calf muscle, and god, he is getting off on this.

“If the brain can send signals to the muscles, which communicate through the sensors through the electric signals- genius idea on your part by the way- why couldn’t the nerves send signals back to the brain?” Viktor muses, and it’s not a bad idea. He should really write this down but it seems offensive given the context of the moment.

He also doesn’t miss the way Jayce sighs at the small bit of praise. Predictable.

“And then- ah!” Viktor winces when Jayce hits a sensitive spot under his knee. “Sorry- no keep going- yeah, there is better-”

By the time Jayce works his way to Viktor’s upper thigh, they’re both flushed and breathless, which is hilarious considering Viktor is just sitting on their workbench in his underwear rambling about artificial nerve endings during a leg massage.

“Hey Jayce?” Viktor bites his lip, because he doesn’t ask for this, he never asks for this.

“Yeah, V?” Jayce beams, and Viktor can’t look at him because he’s so damn beautiful and perfect and deserving of so much more than what Viktor can give him.

“I want…” He trails off and Jayce moves to stand, hips now lining up with Viktor’s in between his legs in the close proximity. It makes his brain short-circuit.

“You want?” Jayce leans in and kisses under his ear, moving his hand up to palm Viktor through his boxers (which feels really fucking good and does not help with the short-circuiting).

Viktor lets his eyes flutter closed and rolls his hips up into Jayce’s hand, chasing the bit of friction created between the thin layer of fabric.

Fuck control.

Viktor leans back on his elbows across the workbench of top of the blueprints and shoots a dangerous look up at Jayce, whose hands subconsciously run down Viktor’s thighs and hips to settle on the small of his waist.

“Fuck me.”

Jayce hesitates just for a moment, a flash of nerves behind his eyes, and then abandons his lethargic, sensual pace and leaps into action. 

He clears the workbench of any potential hazards and pushes Viktor down onto the blueprints, stripping them of their underwear quickly.

“Oh fuck- we don’t-”

“My desk drawer. Right side on the bottom.” Viktor interrupts.

Jayce blinks.

“Why do you-”

“Just get it.”

Jayce scurries to the desk to retrieve a small bottle of lube and laughs as he holds it up.

“Very optimistic.” He chuckles, squeezing some onto his fingers experimentally.

“Shut up. I’m impatient.” Viktor groans.

“Okay, okay, just tell me how you want this.” Jayce takes a deep breath and sets the bottle down, tapping the side of Viktor’s knee to spread his legs further.

“Like I showed you. Slow. But-but not too slow, I’ve done this before.” Viktor nods in encouragement, trying to keep a clear head to coach him.

It’s not the most graceful preparation. Jayce is a bit eager, and a bit nervous, which doesn’t help Viktor relax at all, but with a few pointers they find their rhythm soon enough. The burn of the stretch isn’t unfamiliar but he still can’t remember the last time he suggested doing something like this. He had a more serious boyfriend in undergrad that preferred to top, but that was years ago.

“Is that enough? Do you uh… need four?” Jayce asks after a while, half-anxious, half-entirely aroused.

Viktor chuckles, because holy shit, the sentence has no business being so erotic but it’s Jayce and Jayce is so, so different from anyone else he’s ever been with. It makes him comfortable enough to laugh during sex, to tease and smile and make stupid jokes.

“No, no that’s good that’s-” Viktor glances up at Jayce, who’s hanging on every word.

Viktor smirks, dropping his voice, “That’s very good, Jayce. Now give me what I want.”

Jayce practically gasps and nods, removing his fingers and positioning himself finally where Viktor wants him.

When Viktor feels him start to push inside, he feels his toes curl and his back arch instinctively, like his autonomic systems react before his mind can fully process it. Even when his lips part to make way for a higher pitched whine, his body betrays his facade of control.

Jayce is faring no better, upon a glance upwards his brow is knitted in focus but jaw dropped slightly in awe and pleasure.

“Are you-“

“I told you, Jayce,” Viktor huffs, trying his best to sound less wrecked than he already is, “don’t fucking ask me if I’m okay.”

He punctuates it with a playful grin, and Jayce’s face relaxes slightly at the joke.

“Ha- you’re funny. Seriously tell me though because I-“

“Jayce. I will tell you. Will you please just- oh mmm-“ Viktor rolls his eyes back as Jayce tightens his grip on his hips and begins to move in slow, controlled strokes.

“My god, Viktor…” Jayce moans, and it’s like a prayer, reverent and devotional.

It’s nothing Viktor expected, besides the fact that it’s mind-numbingly good. He expected Jayce to manhandle him, rough him up, chase his own pleasure until Viktor with writhing and begging, but this is ruining Viktor in an entirely different way.

Instead of chasing the feeling, he’s savoring it. 

When he’s not trailing his eyes up Viktor’s body with adoration, he’s letting them flutter closed and biting his lip in an expression that sends Viktor’s mind reeling and spinning out of control.

Jayce moves his hands back to Viktor’s leg, still marked with the red imprints of the brace, and lifts it slightly, looking to Viktor for silent permission. Viktor nods and watches as he carefully lifts the leg up to hook over his shoulder, then leans his head to place slow kisses to his ankle and calf. It makes Viktor blush fiercely with how surprisingly tender the act is.

Then in juxtaposition, Jayce's hips snap forward at the new angle and Viktor yelps as the sudden pleasure shoots up his spine.

With the leg lifted like this, Jayce reaches deeper, letting the pace become faster and more intense than before. Viktor loses himself to it, completely giving himself over and finding himself babbling nonsense and making embarrassingly desperate noises.

He hears Jayce’s gritted but comforting voice talking through it, although not processing the exact phrases he knows it’s good and that’s all that matters.

Viktor frantically reaches for something to cling to and crumbles one of the blueprints under him. He doesn’t care. They have copies.

There’s something about it, about being fucked on the workbench they’ve spent so much time hovered over, laying sweaty and spent over their notes, that’s probably poetic in some way. Something about creation, about partnership. It’s there, but Viktor can’t put it to words when everything feels this good.

By the end they’re both utterly ruined, panting and clinging to each other in the mess of it all as they come down from the high of the pleasure that hit them simultaneously, with Jayce inside him and his beautiful hands working over Viktor to bring him to a climax so fucking blinding he’s still not sure it really happened.

“Perfect,” Jayce pants, “so perfect, Viktor.”

Viktor finally forces himself to sit up and brings Jayce’s forehead down to touch his own, still sweaty and panting.

“Did you mean it? You love me?” Viktor feels the smile creep onto his face.

Jayce grins, “I love you. So much.”

“Then take me home. I’m not done with you yet.”

Chapter Text

Viktor steadies himself on his knees as he sheds his briefs and turns back to face his full attention to Jayce.

And he’s a vision.

Laid bare on his back on the bed in front of Viktor, a sheen of sweat covering his chest that glimmers with the rise and fall of his heavy breaths, loose strands of dark hair falling forward and sticking to his forehead, he is perfect.

Viktor is struck with a feral urge to ruin this man and it takes incredible self-restraint to remind himself that he needs to be careful and slow and intentional about all of this. The need, the gnawing wanting at the corners of his vision, remains controlled for now.

It’s not the best position for his leg, but he’s not going to tell Jayce that after he pleaded so earnestly to face him. He’ll be sore, for sure, but the arousal outweighs the pain right now and he’d much rather focus on that.

“Viktor, please.” Jayce pants and squirms, slick with lube between his legs. It makes the sight even more absolutely obscene.

To be fair, Viktor has made him wait long enough. He took his sweet time opening the man up with careful fingers and frequent check-ins that by the time he was done Jayce had begun scoffing at him in pathetic annoyance. It was fun though, finding that little streak of impatience and teasing it out. Something to play with again, surely, but now he’ll give in, because Jayce deserves it. He deserves everything.

“Just remember to-”

“Relax, I know, I know god-”

Viktor shushes him and chuckles to himself, “So needy, Jayce. I didn’t even ask you to beg for it.”

Jayce’s eyes roll back in his head and oh, it’s so incredibly easy to get to him. Viktor can tell- Jayce has never been treated like this in bed and he loves it.

With anyone else, he would’ve teased more for the fun of it, but there’s some underlying impatience bubbling within himself as well that needs to be dealt with urgently.

So he gives Jayce what he wants. What they both want.

“Oh, wow…” Jayce moans and curls his fingers into the sheets and Viktor slowly, slowly pushes in.

If he looked beautiful before, Viktor doesn’t know how he would possibly describe Jayce now. That obsessive worship he showed back in the lab is something similar, but this time completely unraveled and at Viktor’s mercy. He mentally thanks his partner for being so adamant that they face each other for this.

Once they both adjust to the sensation, Viktor moves just a little, testing the reaction. Jayce’s breath hitches but he doesn’t protest, in fact, the expression on his face is one of intense pleasure, not pain.

God, Jayce was meant for this.

“So good, Jayce. You’re a natural.” Viktor praises, digging his fingers into Jayce’s hips and trying very very hard to control the pace of the friction between them. It’s maddening, going this slow. Viktor has to scrunch his face up just to maintain focus.

Jayce however, is already falling apart in front of him.

He practically cries at Viktor’s words, tilting his head back against the mattress and reaching one hand up to tangle his fingers with his partner’s where he’s grabbing his hips.

“Hey Jayce.” Viktor pants, grinning down at the man beneath him.

“Hey V.” Jayce slurs, eyes squeezed shut in a blissful expression.

“I think you might like men.”

Jayce’s eyes fly open and he coughs out a laugh, “Fuck- I think so.”

“You like getting fucked?” Viktor bites his lip and jerks his hips forward, interrupting the steady pace from before and relishing in the moan that escapes Jayce’s throat.

“Don’t start talking like that-” He chuckles, hot and red in the face, “I’ll lose my fucking mind.”

Viktor could. He’s good at dirty talk. It’s not like he’s having tons of sex all the time, but the sex he does have is good, he’ll give himself that. He likes this, having another person hanging on his every word, every touch, every movement.

The words escape him though, because for the first time the feeling is completely mutual- it’s Viktor falling apart at the way Jayce keens and moans under him. His own breath is ragged, cut off with each swift movement of his body. The pain shooting up his leg and hip and spine is there, certainly, but faded into the background as something much more pleasurable coils in the pit of his stomach.

He thinks of all the things he could say.

You take me so well

You’re being so good for me

I want to ruin you

“I love you” is what comes out instead, to his own surprise.

“Fuck, Viktor, I-” Jayce gasps, “I love you too.”

And once Viktor says it, he can’t stop. It leaves his lips over and over like a prayer and he chases that feeling, sliding a hand up Jayce’s sweaty chest to brace himself and lift his weight off one knee. He thinks Jayce might be saying it too, that it’s not all him, but it’s hard to tell where Viktor ends and Jayce begins at this point.

Sex has never, never felt this good. Viktor is sure this is it, this is as good as it gets, and there’s no way he’s ever going to get enough now that he’s had it.

“Viktor pleasecanyou-” Jayce babbles, yanking on the sheets, “can you touch me I- I want to-”

“At the same time, yeah-” Viktor nods, like somehow he can read the thoughts before Jayce speaks them aloud.

Then neither of them speak, only pants and gasps and quick movements until they’re both reaching the climax together. It’s incredible, like Jayce’s pleasure is his own, and the aftershocks of it rake through his body in a way that makes his toes curl.

Viktor imagines floating through space, body glowing and swirling amongst stars, wrapped in Jayce and the cosmos and everything at once.

They stay like that, catching their breath and shaking until they come down eventually.

“That was…” Viktor blinks and laughs a bit.

“Amazing.” Jayce chuckles and pulls Viktor down onto him. It’s messy and maybe kind of gross, but Jayce somehow still smells good and the rapid thumping of his heart is centering and comfortable.

Viktor can’t remember the last time he grinned like an idiot after sex.

“How’s your leg? Are you…?” Jayce trails off and bites his lip.

Viktor tilts his head up and smirks, “Okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Yeah.” Viktor bends his leg a bit and hisses. “Well, no but, worth it. Definitely worth it.”

Jayce laughs and runs his hand over his face, “I would say I’m sorry but I don’t think I am.”

Viktor barks a louder laugh at that, and sits up to assess the damage. Jayce has some faint bruising and, oh wow, imprints of Viktor’s nails on his hips. Hot.

He grabs his cane to stumble to the bathroom and grab tissues and washcloths, and when he returns Jayce is sitting up with a strange look on his face. Like he wants to ask a question. Viktor just pauses and raises one eyebrow, and Jayce hesitates before speaking up.

“Do you want to meet my mom?”

“What?” Viktor scoffs.

Jayce is looking at him with an adorable, bashful expression, meaning he’s completely serious.

“I just fucked you for the first time, very thoroughly if I do say so myself, and the first thing you ask afterwards is for me to meet your mom?” Viktor asks as he climbs back into bed, a hint of a mischievous grin tilting at the corner of his mouth.

Jayce laughs and buries his face in the pillow, saying something too muffled for Viktor to understand.

“Come now, speak up. Be good for me.” Viktor pouts and tilts Jayce’s head towards him again, the grin growing.

Jayce groans at that, “God, Viktor don’t say things like that.”

Viktor laughs now, fully enjoying how much his words undo his partner.

“I just-” Jayce bites his lip, hesitating, “I’m going to her place for dinner tomorrow and- I want you to meet her. I don’t know how to tell her about all of this but if…”

Viktor cocks an eyebrow.

Jayce continues, “If she meets you she’ll understand.”

Oh. Viktor still isn’t used to the casual expressions of love that Jayce so willingly gives.

“But if it’s too soon or if you’re uncom-”

“No, Jayce. I’d love to. I’d really love to.” Viktor smiles.

It’s ridiculous, really.

Viktor has solved equations that stumped his college professors, built his own assistive devices from scratch, and somehow managed to get Jayce Talis in his bed, but as he approaches the front porch of his partner’s childhood home, he’s never felt more inadequate and small in his life.

His hand shakes on the handle of his cane, and squeezes tighter in effort to still it before Jayce notices.

He notices.

“She’s gonna love you.” He whispers, squeezing Viktor’s shoulder before leaning forward and knocking on the door.

Each knock feels like it hits Viktor hard- straight in the sternum, rattling his bones.

There’s a long pause, and muffled movement from inside. Viktor might throw up.

He’s not even sure what he’s doing here. Jayce sprung the question so unexpectedly and looked so goddamn sweet when he asked that it was impossible to refuse. But now, standing in the reality of it, he’s terrified.

Jayce’s mom is probably expecting him to eventually bring home some beautiful Mel Medara type. Not a sick, gangly man that can’t even walk straight. Imagine the disappointment.

His self-deprecating thoughts are interrupted by the door swinging open.

“Jayce! Oh, you’re early!” A woman immediately wraps Jayce up in a hug. She’s significantly smaller than him, but in what Viktor can see of her face, the resemblance is quite cute. He can’t help but smile.

She pulls away, fussing at Jayce’s clothes and the state of his hair before turning to Viktor.

“Eh, hi Mrs. Ta- oof!” Viktor’s greeting is interrupted by Jayce’s mom pulling him into a similar hug, with the same warmth and care that she treated her son with.

“You must be Viktor, oh.” She smiles and puts one of her hands on his shoulders, the same way Jayce does when they’re deep in thought in the lab. It’s… oddly comforting.

“Heh, sorry- she’s a hugger.” Jayce blushes and his mother tuts.

“Come in boys, it’s cold.” She ushers them through the doorway.

The first thing Viktor notices about Jayce’s childhood home is how warm it is. Not just in the sudden temperature change but in the smell of a gas fire and stewed vegetables, and the yellowing wallpaper dotted with rosy flowers. The furniture is all stained wood that’s worn as if it has been used for a long time, probably passed down through generations.

Viktor never had that. He never had things that belonged to something bigger than himself, until he started his research. Nothing was ever passed down, everything gifted was new and sterile and wrapped in plastic.

“Dinner isn’t quite ready yet, but you boys hang up your coats and get comfortable.” Jayce’s mom says.

“Thank you, Mrs. Talis.” Viktor nods, and she laughs.

“So formal! You can call me Ximena, Viktor.” She cradles the side of his jaw with his chin, in the way a mother would to her son, and brushes her thumb against his cheek lightly before turning back to the kitchen. It’s so painfully reminiscent of the little touches of affection that Jayce gives.

Jayce takes Viktor’s coat for him, which seems a bit intimate but nobody bats an eye. He pulls at the sleeves of his sweater nervously and finds a loose thread to fiddle with as he stands awkwardly in the hallway, waiting for Jayce to take the lead.

“Don’t be nervous, V.” Jayce whispers and puts a comforting hand on the small of his back.

Ha, nervous. Jayce is the one coming out to his mother this evening. Why is Viktor the one feeling the urge to bolt out of the door?

Jayce escorts him to a barstool across from the kitchen counter and leans Viktor’s cane by his side. Viktor smiles up a silent thank you and fights the urge to lean up for a kiss.

“Could you pull the tray out of the oven, mijo?” Ximena nods over to the oven door and Jayce steps around her, giving her a peck on the cheek before easily falling into the rhythm of prepping the food in the tiny space, like he’s done it with her a thousand times.

Viktor just watches silently from the barstool, and his heart hurts. He’s never had anything like this. It’s always just been him, and that’s fine. Not to say his foster families weren’t full of love in their own way, but this- whatever Jayce has here, is foreign to Viktor. It’s bittersweet.

“Hey, Viktor, want to help me with this?” Jayce smiles over at him, from where he’s hunched over a sheet pan.

He doesn’t miss the double meaning of it. The polite way of saying you’re not an outsider here. A gesture of inclusion, so welcoming and full of love and warmth that it’s almost overwhelming.

So Viktor stands and takes his place comfortably at Jayce’s side, hooking his cane over his elbow and reaching to help transfer small balls of bread into a basket for serving.

Jayce grabs one and splits it open, and steam rises from the inside, “Here, try.”

Viktor glances over at Ximena, who is still stirring the stew with her back turned, and blushes as he lets Jayce feed it to him.

“Mmm.” Viktor hums, chewing it and closing his eyes.

“My dad used to make these.” Jayce grins. “Hey mom! Viktor likes Dad’s cheese bread.”

Ximena just makes a sound of content as she spoons the stew into bowls, and somehow Viktor can feel her pleased smile even with her back turned.

They eventually sit down to eat, after both Jayce and Ximena fuss over putting more bread and more stew onto Viktor’s plate. They couldn’t be more alike and Viktor’s overwhelmed with the now doubled gestures of care and affection from them both.

They talk about school, the research, the campus, all of the things Viktor was expecting and had answers prepared for.

“It sounds like you make a good partner for Jayce, which I’m glad for.” She says to Viktor at one point, and both Jayce and Viktor quickly lock eyes nervously.

Jayce tightens his grip on his spoon and swallows hard, “Actually, mom…I uh, I wanted to tell you…”

Viktor holds his breath when Ximena looks up with gentle concern.

Jayce reaches for Viktor’s hand on the table and it takes everything in him not to lurch forward and ejects the contents of the dinner from his stomach.

Oh god, oh god, she’s going to be so disappointed. And then I’ll never be able to show my face here again and Jayce will probably dump me because he loves his mom so much and I can’t-

“Viktor’s my boyfriend.” Jayce says, exhaling and then smiling hopefully to her.

Ximena immediately lights up and gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. Then, before Viktor knows it, she’s rushed over to him to pull him into her arms and plant kisses into his hair.

“Mom! Don’t hurt him!” Jayce laughs.

“Oh you beautiful, beautiful boy!” She cries softly and squeezes Viktor’s shoulder before rushing to Jayce to give him the same treatment. “I’m so proud of you, oh!”

And she’s smiling.

And she’s brushing happy tears from her face.

And she called Viktor beautiful.

And she’s proud.

“When did this happen? How long have you been keeping this from me?” She hits Jayce on the shoulder playfully.

So they talk for hours. Jayce tells the whole story (oversharing quite a bit, to Viktor’s horror), and Ximena cries at least two more times. They get seconds, and Jayce looks so damn pleased with himself every time Viktor reaches for another ball of cheese bread.

They move to the living room to sit by the gas fireplace, and Jayce snuggles into Viktor openly, curled up in an old handmade blanket. Ximena shows him pictures of Jayce playing in the snow when he was little.

It’s all so… easy. Much easier than he expected.

Like Jayce, his mother so easily gives her love freely to Viktor despite barely knowing him. Instead of feeling undeserving, he just feels loved. Important. Like someone worth caring about.

It stays on his mind even as they don their coats again and step out into the cold. He thinks about it on the drive home, and while brushing his teeth next to Jayce in his apartment.

Maybe, just maybe, Viktor could learn to care about himself the way others do.

They have sex again.

And again.

They have sex in the shower, against the counter, on the couch, and one time on the floor but Viktor’s body hurt so bad afterwards they decided not to ever do that again.

And Viktor never wants to stop.

And March arrives in the blink of an eye.

Winter drags on, and Viktor is so tired of the stiffness in his bones and shedding of layers between outside and inside. The only solace is sleeping next to Jayce, who is basically a human radiator. Sometimes, when Viktor complains enough, Jayce wraps his arms and legs around him and lets him sleep in a cocoon of limbs.

This morning, he groans when Jayce peels away from him and claws at the air lazily as if to pull his warm body back into the bed.

“I have an advisor meeting soon so I should get going, I’m sorry.” Jayce sighs and shrugs on sweatshirt. “Heimer’s probably gonna chew me out again.”

“Again?” Viktor’s arm goes limp in defeat.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back soon, okay?” Jayce cups the side of Viktor’s face and plants a soft kiss into his hair, inhaling the scent.

Viktor nods, guilt pooling in his gut again. He knows Jayce is downplaying it. Last time he met with Heimerdinger he came back crying.

“Hey, I love you. I’ll be back soon.” Jayce smiles at the new phrase, and it sounds so incredibly natural for him. But Jayce has always been so willing, so full of love.

“Love you.” Viktor smiles, and with that, Jayce disappears from the bedroom. A jingle of keys and locking of the door, and Viktor’s alone in Jayce’s apartment.

Viktor stays in bed longer than he should, but after a hot bath, a toaster waffle, and a fresh cup of coffee, he feels like he might be able to get some productive lab time in today.

So he begins to gather the notes spread out on Jayce’s coffee table to shove back in his bag. He’s gotten in the habit of taking the research home over the weekend, and he and Jayce wind up pouring over it even when their favorite documentaries are on. It’s fun, having someone that works so effortlessly with you that it’s almost like sharing a mind.

Viktor traces over Jayce’s small signature in the corner of one of the pages. Simple, like a logo, but unmistakably the initials of the man he loves.

And…Viktor flips the page.

And it’s all over the research.

It’s on every page of the research.

If he weren’t completely lovestruck, he’d find it egotistical, but something about Jayce being interwoven into Viktor’s life’s work makes him swell with pride. Because Jayce is a genius. Because he loves Jayce.

He was so stupid not to realize it sooner, not to do something about it sooner.

But there’s something he can do now.

Ironically, the piece of the puzzle that makes it all fit together is exactly what he’s been avoiding all school year. He laughs at that, standing alone in the apartment. Cruel.

But he loves Jayce, and he has to start learning how to love himself if this is going to work.

Viktor pulls his phone from his pocket and finds the dreaded contact in his phone with shaking hands. It rings once, twice, then the line picks up.

“Hello um, I need to speak to my doctor about a consult. It’s urgent.”

Viktor can’t run. At least not efficiently.

Most of the time, it’s not a problem. He’s in the habit of giving himself time to get around.

But sometimes.

Sometimes it’s very inconvenient.

Curse the cobblestone, curse the trolley, curse the distance to the staff offices from the fucking engineering building.

Viktor will murder whoever was in charge of making this campus the most frustratingly inaccessible place to study on the planet. He’ll murder them with his bare hands.

It takes too long. He huffs and wisps of foggy, labored breath cloud in front of his face and the click, click, click of his cane can’t move any faster.

It’s torture, and he’s sure he won’t make it in time, but the old brick building in the distance approaches and he’s finally greeted with the warmth of the shitty central heating system inside. He doesn’t catch his breath before marching down the hall to his advisor’s office door.

Viktor finally, finally bursts into Heimerdinger’s office with an over-dramatic shove of the door that causes both the small professor and Jayce himself in the seat across from the desk to startle.

“Professor-”

“Viktor,” The professor clutches his chest, wide eyed, “as you can see I’m in a private meeting-”

“It’s a joint thesis.” Viktor uses the cane to swing his body in a makeshift leap on his good leg towards the desk, dropping the stack of papers onto it with the slam of his palm.

“What?!” Jayce and Heimerdinger speak at the same time.

Viktor is still panting from the rush across campus.

“It’s a joint thesis. The bionic prosthetic case study.” He repeats, looking over to his partner. “Jayce is my partner. He’s been helping me and- and it’s all here. He signed the notes. Every page. I can’t take all the credit, he- we’re gonna publish together.”

Jayce’s jaw drops in the most stunned expression Viktor has ever seen him make.

“Viktor…” He whispers, as Heimerdinger adjusts his glasses and skims over the papers. “This is, I can’t…”

“He can’t.” Heimerdinger nods and sighs, “Even if I took the time to review this- you’re not in the same cohort. Jayce is required to complete three years of study at the university and you plan to publish this next year before you graduate.”

“But I’m not.” Viktor says quickly, earning another sharp inhale from Jayce, who’s white-knuckling the armrests on the chair behind him.

“Excuse me?” The professor scoffs.

“I’m-” Viktor hesitates.

He looks at Jayce, expression softening.

“I’m taking some time off. For my health. I need surgery and- there’s some physical rehab involved and I- I can push my graduation back a year and we’d be able to defend the thesis together.”

Suddenly, Viktor stumbles forward with the momentum of Jayce leaping up and crashing into him, wrapping him in a tight hug.

“You’re serious? Viktor, you- oh my god!” He beams and squeezes tight and Viktor smiles awkwardly over at the professor, watching with one eyebrow raised.

“That would work right? We could- we could publish as research partners? A joint thesis?” Jayce asks over to him eagerly, standing up straighter but keeping one arm securely around Viktor’s waist.

Heimerdinger purses his lips and glances between them, then silently goes back to Viktor’s paperwork, turning over a few pages as he scans over it properly. Jayce bites his lip and looks over at Viktor excitedly, bouncing on his heels. Viktor’s heart beats against his chest.

“The sensors were your idea, Jayce? Measuring electric signals from the muscles to program the robotic mechanisms?” Heimerdinger asks without looking up, keeping his voice neutral.

“Yes- yes! But uh, well Viktor helped with the muscle mapping- and the sensor placement so really it was him but also me and, uh… yeah. Yeah.” Jayce nods.

“He’s being modest. I never would’ve gotten this far without him, Professor. It was indeed a joint effort, and I believe his partnership would greatly enhance the success of the initial case study.” Viktor clarifies, trying hard to stay professional and not break into a wide smile with the way Jayce is completely giddy beside him.

“Very well.” Heimerdinger finally looks up. “I’ll have to review it properly.”

“But…?” Jayce adds.

“But… I don’t see why not.”

“Yes!” Jayce jumps in the air and then grabs Viktor and spins him, knocking his cane against the desk and the bookshelf clumsily. Viktor finally breaks into a laugh and hugs him back, letting his weight fall naturally against Jayce. Even Heimerdinger smiles.

“Alright, alright, you’ve given me extra work to review so leave me be.” He rolls his eyes and shoos them out.

Before he closes the door behind him, he winks and adds, “Well done, boys.”

Jayce pulls Viktor into another hug in the hallway, and they stay there for a while, swaying slightly with their hearts hammering against each other’s chests.

“Viktor,” Jayce says, squeezing tight, “you’re gonna get the surgery?”

Viktor pulls back enough to see Jayce’s hopeful, crooked smile.

“Yeah,” He nods, “Yeah, I called my doctor today and we talked about… everything. It’s-”

Viktor bites his lip, succumbing only briefly to the fear and embarrassment before pushing through. Besides, it’s Jayce. 

Jayce who has proven time and time again that he cares, he cares so much. He cares about Viktor’s health and Viktor’s research and… Viktor is finally starting to let him.

“It’s a lot, Jayce. I won’t lie. It’s going to be a rough year, there’s a few different procedures and they want me in therapy too and-” Viktor sighs, “You’ll need to head all of the research next year while I’m out. I can help but I’ll be in the hospital a lot-”

“Viktor, I’m not going anywhere.” Jayce tucks a stray chunk of hair behind Viktor’s ear.

Viktor exhales. It’s going to take some getting used to, but having Jayce through all of this sounds… nice. Not being alone. Getting hospital visits. Having someone to come home to.

“Okay then.” He nods. “Joint thesis.”

“Joint thesis.” Jayce nods. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter Text

“I told you, I’m not having sex with you until I can call you Doctor.” Viktor smirks.

Jayce groans, nuzzling into Viktor’s neck and letting his beard scratch the sensitive skin there. Viktor shivers and threads his finger’s into Jayce’s hair, humming in contradiction to his ultimatum.

“But it’s done now, and we actually slept last night, and we don’t have to be there until like, noon.” Jayce’s voice comes out like a whine, which maybe would’ve been embarrassing a couple years ago but now he fully knows how much Viktor loves it.

“It’s not done, Jayce. Not until we defend it. We need to be sharp, prepared.” Viktor corrects. “This is the day we’ve been working towards since you stepped foot in that lab, Jayce.”

There’s a fondness to his voice, through the intentional words and the focus.

“I just think if we unwind a little we’ll be less tense during the presentation.” Jayce glances up, just to see if it works.

It doesn’t, but he gets another crooked smirk out of it.

“Up. I want to get there early and run some final tests.” Viktor taps Jayce’s shoulder and they untangle, sitting up and starting the morning routine.

Jayce stretches and sighs, taking in the sight of their apartment in the early morning light. Their apartment. Their home.

After Jayce’s first year at Piltover, he and Viktor moved in together over the summer. It just happened to work out perfectly, as a first-floor unit opened up in a cute old brick building on the edge of campus. Vi called them “uhaul lesbians” the entire time she and Caitlyn helped them move their belongings into the space.

The two-bedroom unit made it perfect for having a makeshift home lab. They opted to make the smaller room their bedroom, and transform the larger room with desks and a big workbench with plenty of storage for supplies and tools. Plus the internet connection was better on that side anyways.

Viktor’s initial leg prototype currently sits on a shelf above the workbench, abandoned but treasured as neither of them could part with it. Although they never made an updated version, it was something that brought them together, and a reminder of what they’ve overcome.

The other prototypes on the shelf are completely different- models of hands and arms across the wall like Frankenstein’s lab. The shift in the case study was a needed one- with a new limb, Viktor was able to separate his work from his own health and Jayce was able to help with coordinating with their patient. No more secrets, and pure synergy in the lab.

The apartment is in rough shape, as the past few weeks before the thesis defense has been a cycle of work at the school lab, work at the home lab, sleep in shifts, and maybe eat, if Jayce has his way. There’s roughly five abandoned coffee mugs throughout the space and cans of energy drinks litter the floor next to the couch. Blueprints, sketches, and notes cover the surfaces like they once did at Viktor’s old place, and Jayce doesn’t mind it at all. The frantic disorganization of his partner has become a strange comfort to him. 

“Jayce, coffee.” Viktor calls from the bathroom, and Jayce realizes he’s been standing in the doorway reminiscing for longer than he thought.

He trudges to the kitchen, sweatpants hanging low, and starts up the coffee maker.

There’s a sticky note on it that says “thanks in advance” in Viktor’s scribbled handwriting. Jayce smiles, like he does every morning when he sees it.

When he brings the hot coffee into the bathroom, Viktor is already dressed in dark slacks with his leg brace fastened overtop, and his back brace loosely wrapped around his torso.

It’s more intricate from the old brace, thanks to Viktor’s time off from school and his need to constantly be working on a project. He sketched up the blueprints during his recovery in the hospital from the first surgery, with his doctor and physical therapist as collaborators. Jayce perfected the bionic arm by day, and visited the hospital by night to review the schematics of the new brace, often falling asleep on the bedside recliner with Viktor’s sketches spread over his lap.

The second surgery was worse, and the recovery was harder. Viktor didn’t let Jayce visit during physical therapy sessions. The doctors assigned him a psychologist.

“Mmm, thank you.” Viktor hums and cradles the coffee, holding it up to his face to feel the steam.

Jayce wordlessly slots behind him and begins carefully attaching the brace to the bolts in Viktor’s spine. It’s muscle memory at this point, but there was a time where he was afraid he might fuck something up horribly with the force required to tighten it. It’s healed well in the last year, and it certainly helped with some of the pain and deterioration Viktor had been experiencing.

Viktor barely lets the winces show on his face as he sets the cup down and grabs an elastic to tie his long hair up into a low ponytail. They’ve both neglected themselves in the last few months of thesis work, and while Jayce’s hair has grown out a bit, Viktor’s is down to his shoulders now. Jayce might not ever let him cut it.

“Remember what Heimerdinger said. The last write up we did was too lofty, we focused too much on the future applications of the technology. We have to emphasize the quantitative results of the study.” Viktor’s voice is calm, and he’s more talking to himself in the mirror than he is to Jayce.

“We’re going to pass. We won the Innovator’s Competition.” Jayce finishes the last bolt attachment and stands up straight, smiling at his partner in the mirror. Viktor looks like he wants to retort, but bites his tongue and nods.

“Okay, get dressed. You’re distracting me.” Viktor waves his hand and leaves the bathroom.

Jayce leans against the doorway. “I’m trying to.”

Viktor grabs a cream button-down and shrugs it over his shoulders. “Mhm. I’m sure.”

Curse his resolve.

“It’s not working?” Jayce fakes a pout.

Viktor pauses with his fingers on the buttons of his shirts, and he huffs before looking up with a sharpness in his eyes.

“If you’re going to act like this all morning, you’re going to regret it later tonight.” He says, accent thick and sultry like honey on his tongue. Jayce melts. Every time.

“I don’t think I will.” Jayce groans, closing his eyes and trying to not imagine what Viktor could be insinuating.

“You’re insatiable. Can you focus on science for the next…” Viktor glances at the clock, “five hours? Plus, we have to break the news to Heimerdinger.”

“We’re telling him today? But we haven’t-”

“I’ve made up my mind.” Viktor finishes buttoning the shirt and flashes Jayce a grin, “Have you?”

“Yes-” Jayce nods excitedly, “Hell yes.”

“Good. Now get dressed.”

They speed through the rest of the morning. Jayce picks out their ties and helps Viktor with his dress shoes, and the coffee is abandoned on the bathroom counter.

While Viktor gathers the copies of their final presentation notes into his bag, Jayce goes to the front hallway to prepare the final step of their routine.

A wheelchair, folded in the corner by the front door, accompanies one of Viktor’s canes by their coat rack.

Jayce unfolds it and turns it towards the hall, waiting.

He remembers bringing Viktor home in it after the second surgery. Then Viktor stayed in bed. For days.

Eventually, he began dragging himself across the hall to the home lab to work. Jayce came home at lunchtime to make him food, then found him there hours later, food untouched, when he returned in the evening.

When Viktor finally began leaving the apartment, Jayce would unfold the wheelchair in the hallway, and Viktor would walk past it to grab his crutch and tuck it under his shoulder. 

Every morning, Jayce unfolded the chair.

Every morning, Viktor pretended it didn’t exist.

They didn’t talk about it until a month had gone by.

“Viktor, the trolley has been down all week, and we have to go to the library today.” Jayce had said quietly as Viktor wrapped his hand around the crutch.

“I know this, Jayce.” Viktor had responded. Always so impossibly stubborn. He was smart enough to know what Jayce was trying to say, but forced him to say it aloud instead.

“It’s far. It’s a lot of walking. Shouldn’t we just take the wh-”

“Are you insinuating that I’m not capable of walking, Jayce?”

Then came the worst of it, the fighting. Viktor refused to use the chair, and had several falls on campus that luckily Jayce was around to catch him for. Jayce was frustrated, Viktor was scared, and they yelled about it. They yelled a lot.

It wasn’t easy, but Viktor came around on his own time. Jayce knew he would. Healing is painful, and Viktor was never one to easily accept limitations.

One morning, Viktor emerged from the bedroom with tear-stained cheeks and sank wordlessly into the chair Jayce had waiting for him. He adjusted the footrests and the brakes with a neutral expression, and then after a long, quiet paused, he wheeled himself through the front door Jayce held open for him.

Jayce remembers sitting by Viktor’s bedside at the hospital as the doctor explained the details of what to expect after the surgeries. Viktor would still be able to stand and walk with the crutch on good days, especially with the help of the braces. Eventually though (hard to tell when eventually is at this point), Viktor will rely on the wheelchair full time. Viktor had thrown up after the doctor left the room, and Jayce rubbed his bare back through the hospital gown.

“I told you it will get worse.” Viktor had mumbled.

“You’re crazy if you think that means I’ve changed my mind.” Jayce had replied.

This morning, Viktor approaches the chair with a smile, a kiss on Jayce’s cheek, and happily plops down as Jayce hooks the crutch around his own arm and opens the front door. Viktor has made plenty of his own personal adjustments and “augments” to the device (he even let Jayce attach fairy lights to it at last year’s holiday party at Cait and Vi’s place), and it easily just became another part of him after a while.

Things are better.

“She’s late.” Viktor drums his fingers against the wheel of his chair.

“No, we’re early. Relax.” Jayce reaches over to squeeze Viktor’s shoulder and lightly massage away the tension.

As if summoned by the exchange, the door opens for a familiar tall, heavily tattooed woman accompanied by the thud of heavy boots.

“Hey boys.” Sevika grins, “You’ve got my new arm?”

“I thought I told you to dress like a professional.” Viktor rolls his eyes.

Sevika just laughs and shakes her head, approaching the model prosthetic, fully customized to her own measurements. Her hand glides across the sleek metal Jayce soldered himself.

“We have time to do some final tests of the demos before the dissertation committee gets here, if you want to give it a go now.” Jayce offers.

“Fuck yes.”

The thesis defense goes exactly as practiced, with some additional nerves but nothing too glaring. 

Viktor’s heel tapped against the footrest in his chair while he introduced the project, the inspiration behind it, and its connection to his previous graduate studies on biomechanics. Once he falls into the natural rhythm of describing the passion behind the project, his nerves seem to gently fade, and Jayce almost catches himself becoming too enamored and distracted by how incredibly hot it is, even though he’s heard the speech countless times by now.

Jayce felt beads of sweat on his forehead as he explained the mechanics of the arm carefully, working his way through the major joints in the elbow and shoulder and allowing Sevika to demonstrate.

She was a natural from the start, even coming from outside the world of academia. She had already been using her own prosthetics to allow herself to tattoo one-handed, so she had great insight into how the arm needed to move in order to maximize function. It also helped that she was very handy around the lab during test sessions. Although the equations made her scoff, she was often able to correct things that Jayce or Viktor didn’t catch at first.

Viktor swept in midway to hone in on the details of the electric sensors placed along the muscles in Sevika’s shoulder, back, and chest. This part was a delicate dance between the two of them, hitting the marks in their verbal choreography perfectly as they bounced off of each statement of methodology. Jayce caught one of the committee members grinning with fascination while Viktor detailed the implications on neural pathway re-routing.

Then came the demonstration and data analysis. Viktor made the math talk anything but boring (Jayce might be biased, he loves math. And Viktor.), and Sevika carefully showed the arm’s range of motion in the shoulder, elbow, and wrist. She used it to wave, to carry a light load, and more general gross motor functions.

Then came the section on the hand- which technically isn’t finished yet. The hand proved to be ten times more complicated than the rest of the arm, as fine motor functions had proven consistently difficult for Sevika to perform during their tests.

Last time they presented for Heimerdinger, he found this to be the biggest flaw in the project. Viktor and Jayce agreed that they shouldn’t push it, and to only brush on future applications for the hand model instead of trying to sell it to the committee as a part of their final results.

As Jayce explained this, he glanced at Viktor, who gave a light nod of approval. Fantastic. Almost home free.

Now they wait while the dissertation committee deliberates. 

“So how does this work? Do they send you a letter or something?” Sevika asks, hunched on the bench beside them fiddling with the wrist joint on the arm.

“No. They tell us now.” Viktor sighs, looking paler than usual. Jayce should’ve made him eat something before this.

“Shit.” Sevika whispers.

“Technically, they would’ve already warned us if the project was doomed to fail. If they let you get to the actual defense, we’ll either pass or… pass with revisions.” Jayce shrugs, pretending like it’s less stressful than it is.

The truth is, he hasn’t been more nervous since the day Viktor took him home after their first date at the cafe after their first Innovator’s Competition.

Suddenly, the door opens to reveal their stout advisor once again.

“We’ve come to a decision, if you’ll come rejoin us.” Heimerdinger announces.

When Jayce re-enters the presentation room, the committee is standing. That’s a good thing right? Standing is good. It’s gotta be.

When they return to their place in front of the council with Sevika slightly off to the side watching, Viktor reaches around the chair and unfolds his crutch, pulling himself to stand. Jayce wants so badly to wrap an arm around his waist, but Viktor would have many words about certain displays of affection in front of distinguished faculty.

Heimerdinger looks at each of the men, finally allowing himself to smile.

“Congratulations, Doctors.”

He doesn’t remember what else is said, because in that moment, it’s Viktor who flings himself into Jayce’s arms to everyone’s surprise. It’s Viktor and the smell of his dry shampoo lingering in his long hair. It’s Viktor, so light and easy to hold up even if the shock of the impact. It’s Viktor, so seemingly fragile yet so strong and so fearless. 

“Jayce.” Viktor gasps.

“We did it. We did it, V.” Jayce murmurs, hopefully out of earshot of the others, but at this point who gives a fuck.

It’s all a blur- there’s a lot of hand shaking and plenty of impressed compliments. Sevika gives Jayce a hug that he swears realigns some vertebrae. Viktor looks over the moon, perhaps even happier than he was the night they first kissed, and he has every right to be. This project was more than just a partnership between the two of them, it was Viktor’s before Jayce was even in the picture.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Dr. Talis” Viktor whispers from behind, wrapping his arms around Jayce’s waist once the room begins to clear. Sometimes it’s like Viktor can read his mind.

“You’re brilliant. You’re so goddamn brilliant, Viktor.” Jayce turns to kiss him before taking the crutch and allowing his partner back into the wheelchair.

“Boys- before you run off to celebrate, I wanted a word.” Heimerdinger approaches, short steps comical in the large space.

Jayce and Viktor turn to face him expectantly.

“I know you have a few offers for this technology already, it’s gotten the attention of quite a few major players after the competition last semester.” He states. “You still have time to consider of course, but-”

“Actually sir-” Viktor interrupts politely, “We’re not selling.”

There’s a pause, echoing in the now empty space. Their advisor doesn’t seem to understand the meaning behind the sudden statement.

“We’re going to make our own company to distribute it. To make sure the technology goes to the people that really need it.” Jayce looks over to Viktor who nods in approval, beaming proudly.

Heimerdinger looks truly shocked. He strokes his mustache in thought and sighs, like he’s having a conversation in his own head. “Well, that’s- a surprise gentlemen… doctors.” He corrects with a small smile. “You’ll have a lot of work ahead though, I hope you know. And it won’t be nearly as profitable at the start.”

“We’re aware. We have the business plan drafted already.” Jayce nods, thinking of the folder of contracts and quotes tucked into Viktor’s bag with “Hextech Inc” on the cover.

Jayce was admittedly quite drunk when the name popped in his head. After that it stuck, and Jayce also selfishly loves the way it hits all the sharp edges of Viktor’s accent. 

“Well.” Heimerdinger nods, obviously needing some time to rethink whatever offer he was going to present them with. Jayce knows Viktor won’t budge. Neither will he. “Exciting news. I’m-”

He pauses, taking a breath and then smiling a real, genuine smile at the two men before him.

“I am proud of you, Doctors. It’s been a pleasure.”

///

Viktor feels like he’s floating.

Like his chest is full of champagne bubbles.

Like he could lift from his seat and swim through the air without the unrelenting force of gravity putting endless pressure on his bones.

Realistically, he’s struggling to push his wheelchair along the uneven cobblestone that the academy still hasn’t refurbished, despite multiple letters to the Department of Diversity & Inclusion on the topic of campus accessibility.

“Hey look- the trolley is running!” Jayce points out. “It’s a sign. We gotta, for old times sake.”

Viktor glances at the nearby station. Indeed, the usual “out of service” sign is nowhere to be seen, and a trolley car conveniently hisses to a stop at the gate as they come closer on the path.

Viktor sighs, “For old time’s sake.”

They pass through the rusted gates of the unkempt station and onto the trolley car, with Jayce helping nudge Viktor’s chair over the stubborn lip of the entrance.

At first, he didn’t let anyone touch the wheelchair. He had enough trouble accepting it was a part of him now, but he had no idea the amount of people that would feel entitled to touch that part of him. The pushing, the grabbing, it all made Viktor flinch. When he had the cane, nobody ever tried to grab it from him.

Even Jayce’s touches were unwelcome at first. Viktor admits he might have been too harsh in those early days. He was stubborn, grouchy, irritable, but Jayce was always patient. Always understanding, waiting. Viktor might not have deserved that, but he appreciated it. 

Eventually, Viktor started inviting the touch. At first it was only when he really needed it. A push here and there. But then, he welcomed Jayce’s touch again. The comforting hand on the backrest, the nudge of his hip, and sometimes, even a teasing kick to the frame to send him spinning in the wrong direction.

Just last month, when Vi’s sister came to visit, he let the young blue haired girl sit in the chair and wheel it into the walls. He had laughed, really laughed, when Jayce then took his turn in it and pulled Viktor onto his lap, fumbling at the push wheels to send them down the hallway in a sporadic zig-zag pattern.

The doors of the trolley ding as they close, snapping Viktor from his thoughts to find Jayce seated across from him in the little plastic seats. A lurch of the car, and the hum of the mechanisms send them down the hill towards the quad.

“Remember when we rode this your first year and got stuck?” Viktor smirks.

“Mhm. I was jealous of your hickeys.” Jayce huffs a laugh.

“Eh, I was jealous of your girlfriend.”

“Fair point. We’re just two jealous assholes then.”

The campus is lively and bright as the promise of summer and the end of the semester hangs in the air. From the window of the trolley Viktor can see students laid out on blankets and hammocks basking in the sun. The green has returned, covering the trees in fresh leaves and bringing life back to the grass and bushes of the campus landscaping. It’s a perfect day.

A perfect day for so, so many reasons.

The trolley stops momentarily, with the automated voice (now more warbled than Viktor remembers it being) announcing they arrived at the Environmental Sciences Building. The station is empty, and after a few moments the doors close and they begin to move again.

“Y’know, I think Heimerdinger is actually impressed with the Hextech thing.” Jayce comments.

“Hmph,” Viktor smiles, “I believe he was. Surprising little man.”

“Ha, as always. I thought we were in for another lecture.”

“We deserve one. We’re not businessmen, Jayce.” Viktor reminds him playfully.

“We will be soon.” Jayce sighs. “Do you think- uh, we can do it?”

Viktor kicks his ankle, “Of course. I wouldn’t have signed all that paperwork just to watch my life’s work fail.”

I wouldn't have done this alone. I would’ve been too scared, thought it was too ambitious, too egotistical. I would’ve sold it away in fear of failing on my own.

“I-” Viktor swallows, “I wouldn’t have signed it without you.”

You make me feel like anything is possible.

Jayce reaches out to hold Viktor’s hand in both of his, “Me neither, Viktor. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The trolley lurches to a stop in the middle of the track.

The warbled voice returns: Out of service. Please remain inside the vehicle.

Viktor and Jayce burst into laughter so hard that after a minute Viktor is clutching his abdomen and Jayce is wiping tears from his eyes.

“Fucking figures. You should’ve seen your face!” Jayce wheezes.

“I can’t believe this!” Viktor looks up at the ceiling and catches his breath.

“Ha, you know…” Jayce sniffs, and a smirk begins creeping onto his face, “I had a fantasy about this once.”

Viktor scoffs, “Sex in the trolley, Jayce?!”

“It’s hot! It’s like the whole stuck-somewhere-together trope thing.”

“You’re just mad about this morning.”

“Oh come on V, you can call me Doctor.”

Viktor falls silent, pretending to consider it as he feels a hot flush fall over his face. He avoids eye contact with Jayce, who he can feel staring intensely and if Viktor had to guess, with that fucking look on his face where he bites his lower lip in anticipation.

Viktor swallows. Looks out the window. Just trees, no paths closeby.

He finally brings himself to look at Jayce and fuck- yeah, okay. 

“On your knees then.”

When Viktor finally wheels through the front doors of The Last Drop with Jayce in tow, they look significantly less put-together than they did for their presentation.

Jayce tried to fix his hair, bless him, but the back is still sticking up awkwardly in places where Viktor’s fingers had threaded through and yanked. Their shirts are crumbled where they were hastily tucked back into their slacks, and there’s no way they’re fooling anyone tonight. Especially Vi.

“Here, wait-” Viktor motions for Jayce to lean down, and he quickly starts removing his tie for him. Viktor tries not to think about the fact that Jayce’s tie is so hopelessly wrinkled due to Viktor pulling on it in the trolley while Jayce was hunched between his legs.

“Taking my clothes off already?” Jayce chuckles.

“Your tie is in awful shape.” Viktor rolls his eyes and pulls the tie off, stuffing it into his bag.

“Who’s fault is that?”

“Shut up.”

They finally approach their usual table in the back where Cait and Vi are already waiting for them on one side of the booth. Vi’s hair has grown out into a long pink mullet, while Caitlyn wears hers twisted up into a claw clip.

“I’m hoping the fact that you two obviously made out before you got here means good news?” Cait smirks, looking them both up and down.

“Made out” is putting it lightly, Viktor thinks to himself.

“Guilty.” Jayce blushes. “We passed!”

The two girls jump up to embrace them and cheer, gaining the attention from everyone else in the bar. A few patrons raise their drinks at the display.

“Oh my god, you did it!” Vi leans down to squeeze Viktor’s shoulders proudly.

“Don’t act so surprised.” He shrugs, unable to suppress the wide smile that’s starting to make his cheeks hurt.

They all squeeze into the booth with drinks in hand while Jayce explains the whole afternoon (minus certain trolley activities) to the girls. The conversation bounces around in a whirl of excited and familiar chaos.

Caitlyn finally interrupts the chatter, “We actually have good news too.” She shares a knowing look with Vi.

Viktor perks up, “About Isha?”

Last year, a therapist at Vi’s psychology internship site introduced her to a little girl in need of a replacement foster site named Isha. It wasn’t a question- Cait and Vi instantly applied to foster her, but the process has been complicated. They’ve been able to have her visit in and out with her social worker, but there have been a lot of legal hurdles. Viktor’s been able to help with his own knowledge of the foster system. 

Isha has what Vi has explained is “traumatic mutism”, which basically means she doesn’t speak. It’s likely due to a traumatic event, as her vocal folds are fully functional. While her voice may come back, Vi’s been insistent on everyone learning sign language to help her fit in better.

Fitting in was never an issue. Isha instantly seemed at home in Vi and Cait’s place, with Jinx, Vi’s sister, taking a particular liking to her. They’re honestly the perfect little family, although nothing has been made official yet.

“Yeah, um…” Vi bites her lip, “We sign the final paperwork this weekend.”

Another round of jumping out of seats and hugging and cheers commences, as the celebratory mood only continues buzzing throughout their little corner of the bar. They drink several more rounds until Jayce’s face is flushed red with the alcohol and Viktor feels his heavy head flop over onto Jayce’s shoulders as the room gently spins with the buzz.

“Hey there.” Jayce smiles down at him.

“Hey.” Viktor giggles. “I’ve got a surprise for you when we get back.”

“Oh?” Jayce raises his eyebrows.

Viktor thinks about the small mechanized box he built himself at the home lab with Jayce’s scrap metal that’s sitting in the bottom of his sock drawer. The polished silver on the outside is smooth with two singular gears perched atop, slotted together. When opened, the gears turn each other in a choreographed dance.

Inside the box is a simple, shiny band with a small blue stone embedded in the center. It fits perfectly around Jayce’s ring finger (Viktor of course did several test fittings to get it right while Jayce was deep in sleep).

“Mhm. Lots of surprises in store for you, Dr. Talis.” Viktor grins.

He feels Jayce shiver against him delightfully.

Viktor doesn’t know what he’ll say. He’s gone over it so many times in his head, meticulously planned. He wants Jayce to know how much these past couple years have changed everything, have changed him, his future, his capacity to be loved. 

He wants to reminisce on the first dates, harbor sunsets, quaint cafes, and mornings waking up on Viktor’s shitty couch with aching bones and tousled hair. He wants to thank Jayce for all the nights he stayed in the hospital, holding Viktor’s hand, letting him cry and complain and ramble while loopy on meds.

It’s too much. In the moment, he’ll probably just black out and forget to ask the most important question. Either way, Jayce will say yes. That he’s certain of.

As Viktor slots his fingers with Jayce’s he imagines the way the ring will shine in the light against the warm tones of his partner’s skin.

“Let’s make a toast, then!” Caitlyn lifts her drink in front of them, and Viktor quickly curls his fingers around his own.

“To our complicated, fucked up family.” Viktor announces.

“To PhDs and new business ventures!” Jayce laughs.

“To Hextech!” Vi cheers as they all lift their drinks to clank them together.

Jayce looks to Viktor with nothing short of complete adoration, “To your dream, Viktor.”

Viktor smiles.

…

“Our dream.”