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It really wasn’t Hana Solo’s day. The Empire showing up to their super secret base on that awful iceball of a planet was probably a sign that things were not going to go well. Somehow it got worse when they had to rush through that absolute nightmare of a base to escape from Darth Vader, who was looking for the Princess. Hana honestly could not for the life of her figure out why the Alliance engineering corps felt it was important to make the corridors all look the same and without clear signposting. She’d gotten out of many a tight jam while smuggling thanks to easy to understand signs.
Then of course everything somehow got even worse when the hyperdrive failed to engage, so she had to do some creative flying to find a cave in an asteroid they could land in and start making repairs. Hana could admit that she had procrastinated some of the Falcon’s repairs, but she had good reason for it. First she had taken Luke on a bender once she learned that the poor farm boy had minimal experience with that kind of relaxation. The fact that despite working on a moisture farm in the middle of the blasted sun scorched wastes of Tatooine, Luke’s drink of choice being blue milk had left Hana with an almost sisterly compulsion to fix it up. Hell, even the Princess had joined in and much to Hana’s delight, the Princess was just as much of a lightweight. That night had ended brilliantly with farm boy passed out in the Officer’s lounge, half of the senior officers having to stumble through the confusing base for their rooms or ended up passed out in the oddest of places. The Princess had seemed to instinctively seek out warmth after she fell asleep and curled up with Hana under the blankets. The smuggler certainly wasn’t going to complain about that.
She was, however, going to complain that next morning due to the hangover and as such, all of the Falcon’s repairs had to get shuffled around. But it was hardly her fault, being hungover while making repairs is a great way to accidentally start an electrical fire or worse: a plasma fire. So really she was being responsible by putting it off.
But now as she stood beside Chewie looking at the state of the internal systems, she found that the Imperials searching for them would likely be the easiest problem to solve. The Hyperdrive was shot and would need some creative rewiring and rerouting to get to the necessary near light speeds needed to slip into hyperspace, even if it would be far slower than would be considered acceptable by any smuggler worth her salt. Nav systems were still good, the weapons were suffering power drain issues, but honestly that could be easily handled once at a proper shipyard. The best news was that their shielding was intact and fully charged.
“RRRRRRRRRRRRRWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR,” Chewbacca said.
“What do you mean the heat exchanger is busted? Wasn’t that what you fixed yesterday?” she asked.
“RAAAAAAAAARRRRWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAA,” Chewbacca snarked.
“Listen up furball, I’m pretty sure I’d remember if the heat exchanger was what I was supposed to fix yesterday. I triple checked the O2 cyclers and loaded up our food provisions, like I was supposed to.”
“WWWWWWWRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW RRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWRRRR,” Chewbacca said with a far too smug tone.
“Alright alright fine, you’re right. It’s my fault. Let’s focus on the hyperdrive and the autopilot first. We can fix the other things later.”
“RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR?”
“You’re a walking fuzzball, so I think you’ll be fine, but there should still be emergency blankets in the hold if you need it. The droids will be fine and well, I think I have an idea how to help keep the Princess warm…” Hana said as she trailed off in thought at her devious plan.
“So we might need to conserve heat a bit until we get it back online. One of those Imps managed to really blast it to bits,” Hana said as she leaned up against the doorframe.
Leia raised an eyebrow and scowled somewhat.
“Didn’t you once brag to me about how well protected the heat exchanger was on your ship?” the Princess said.
“Well, you know, lucky shots can do a lot of damage,” Hana quickly said.
“...I’m sure,” Leia’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “So what do you propose for the meantime?”
Hana shrugged. “Obviously we keep our coats on while we do repairs. I should have some gloves around here somewhere to help with that. Chewie is off looking for the emergency thermal blankets in the hold. Or is it in the hidden compartment in the engine room…”
“And while we sleep?” the Princess asked, trying to get the smuggler back on track.
Hana grinned. “Well Princess, Chewie won’t be too bothered by the cold if he uses a blanket, the droids won’t feel any of it, so that just leaves you and me. We may need to conserve body heat while we sleep. As captain my bed is big enough for the both of us to try and stay warm in…”
“I’ll take my chances with the thermal blankets,” Leia said dryly.
“Your wish is my command, Your Worship,” Hana responded. A pang of sadness hit her in the gut at the rejection, but she told herself it wasn’t a flat refusal.
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It was just as cold that night as she feared. Hana fumbled around in the low light for her bottle of spiced Corellian rum she had stowed away in her wall safe. The thermal blanket was wrapped around her as she shuffled across the captain’s quarters. Even through her thick socks the bite of the cold floors were unpleasant, but she shuffled onwards until she found the bottle, a nice 12 year aged rum she had picked up a year or so ago. After managing to pull off a daring raid to smuggle a group of refugees out of the Imperial Center (she had always refused to call it Coruscant, she wasn’t really sure why she felt so strongly on calling the capital world by its Imperial name), the leader of the refugees tried to pay her, but she couldn’t find it within herself to demand money from them. It was a strange feeling to care so much about that point.
She’d done plenty of money jobs in the past and rarely felt a problem with it, but something felt different about this. That it would be wrong to accept a monetary reward for protecting people. So instead the refugee leader paid her in the form of a few nice bottles of liquor, when she tried to decline it, the man had told her that if she felt it was dishonorable to accept, then she should think of it as something she can share with others. Technically drinking while covered in blankets on her bed wasn’t sharing with others, but an exception could be made in this case. It was a blasted cold night and she needed something to help warm her up.
The comms on her door chirped and Hana quickly scurried back over to her bed and slipped under the covers and layered the thermal blanket on top.
“Come in!” she answered.
The door opened with a hissing sound and on the other side was a rosy cheeked Leia Organa.
“I-i-i-i-is it t-t-t-t-too l-late t-to t-take y-y-you up on y-y-your off-ff-ffer?”
Hana’s eyes shot open at the sound of the Princess shivering. The Princess’s stubborn pride was going to get herself in real trouble one day.
“Absolutely, get over here,” Hana said quickly.
She lifted up part of the blankets and hissed at the rush of cold air, but held still as Leia slipped herself in and burrowed into Hana’s arms. Despite the circumstances, Hana felt a nice warmth form in her belly at the sensation of the Princess wrapping herself around the smuggler. She dropped the blanket and let the heat reseal itself around them. Hana draped her arms around the Princess and pulled her in close, trying to share as much of her heat as she could.
For a while, they were silent save for their breathing and the hum of the backup generators in the background. Leia’s body stilled as the shivers left her body, but Hana still held on tight. A bittersweet memory of cuddling with Qi’ra back on Corellia filtered into her mind. Despite their low status in society, Hana had always thought of the other girl as her princess and she the princess’ protector. Whether it was from thugs on the streets, those who sexually harassed the beautiful girl, or from the ravages of cold and hunger. She would protect her. But she failed, Qi’ra was gone to her and had been for so very long. Hana wondered if she’d see the girl she once knew again or if she would only see the woman she became, the ruthless head of the Crimson Dawn.
In so many ways she saw bits of Qi’ra in the Princess. Stubborn pride, a deeply ambitious temperament, easy to anger, and deadly with her cleverness. But there was something in the Princess that Hana found herself drawn to that she had never seen on Qi’ra: the ability to hope. The galaxy had walked over Hana and Qi’ra for years and they had been beaten down for it. The Empire had stolen Leia’s parents from her, stolen her world, and stolen years of her life from her. Hana wasn’t blind to the signs of someone who had been fighting a war since they were far too young. She knew of the Princess’ fitful sleep, presumably dreaming of the ghosts that haunted her behind her eyes. She knew of the way she always slept with a blaster slipped under her pillow, for fear of a need to rush off and fight a moment’s notice.
But somehow, despite all she had been through, despite all she suffered and continues to suffer, she maintained an ironclad ability to hope. Whether for herself or for the Alliance as a whole. She was an energetic ball of determination and unshakeable faith in the dream of a free galaxy. Qi’ra had become cynical over the years, taking all the darkest lessons from what she had been through. But the Princess remained hopeful and persevered through the pain, through the torment, through the painful reminders of all she had lost. And Hana silently vowed to do everything she could to keep Leia safe, to ensure that she never gave up on what made her so special, what it was that drew Hana in that none of the other countless women she had been with over the years had managed to do. The Princess and even that farm boy had managed to make her believe in goodness for the first time in a long, long time.
Hana slipped her legs through Leia’s and drew her in deeper. Even if this thing between them only existed for the duration of the heat exchanger being offline, Hana wouldn’t give it up for anything. She drifted off to sleep with warm breath on her neck and with her hand rubbing circles onto the shorter woman’s back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was going to dissemble that kriffing golden android. First he doesn’t tell her about the mynocks on the power couplings draining all the power that she, Chewie, and Leia had been trying to fix for well over an hour before he says anything. Then, after they got rid of them and went on their way out of the system and the worm’s mouth (seriously what the hell?), the kriffing droid interrupted Hana and Leia’s kiss. Leia had boldly slipped her tongue into Hana’s mouth just as the golden pervert walked in and bragged about isolating which power coupling needed fixed. Something the blasted thing could have just told Chewie, but no, he had to tell her . Hana feared that Leia would change her mind and decide it was a mistake, or that she was just desperate for a connection with someone since Luke was off doing kriff knows what.
But then that night as they hurtled through space towards Bespin and Lando, Leia slipped herself into Hana’s bed again. This time, however, they made out as they cuddled and as they fell asleep. Hana’s dreams that night revolved around particular imagery of a beach planet and sliding her hands around Leia’s swimsuit clad hips.
It came as quite the amusing surprise when they woke up to the alarm and noticed that Leia had her hands slipped up inside of Hana’s shirt and Hana had her hands stuck firmly in the back of Leia’s pants. It was even more amusing when it became a regular ritual they partook in every morning afterwards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next few days were quite wonderful, despite the desperate circumstances they were in. Hana woke up and kissed Leia whenever the alarm went off and they would stay that way until Chewie started hurling curse words at them about breakfast being ready. They’d eat with Chewie, who was shockingly good at turning rations into genuinely good food. Mostly duties for the day would be divided up. Hana would take the conn and keep piloting them while Chewie focused on the hyperdrive. Leia would either spend time co-piloting with Hana or working on the damaged secondary system. After a while Hana would set it on autopilot if they were in a stretch of safe space or had slipped into hyperspace. She’d help Chewie with prepping dinner, usually by searching through the liquor bottles and making a nice set of cocktails for herself, Leia, and Chewie. After dinner they’d play Sabbac or Dejarik until it was time to sleep. Hana would wait in her cabin for a while, having some after dinner rum until Leia returned and crawled into her arms.
Hana knew it would end at some point, probably as soon as they arrived at Bespin. Princesses didn’t go for girls like her, they went for the handsome knight in shining armor. Luke wouldn’t stop talking about becoming a Jedi Knight. It was great to see the kid so happy and excited, to see him filled with a hopeful energy. She knew on some level that she was being ridiculous to assume that Leia would abandon her as soon as they were back. But the fear was hard to shake. Hana was a middle aged smuggler. Every day she crept closer to 40 and as embarrassing as it was to admit, she was very self conscious of that fact. The Princess was young and a full life was ahead of her. Luke was young and had a full life ahead of him. Hana had found her first gray hair the other day.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have a relationship with Leia, her heart ached at the thought of not having one. On some level Hana wasn’t sure she deserved Leia’s love. Leia was so brave, kind, and selfless. Hana was cowardly, greedy, and cynical. What Leia saw in her was a mystery. She supposed that sticking around to fight the Empire as she had for the past three years gave the impression that she was a good person. It was easy to forget that she was a career smuggler sometimes, that she had a policy of shooting first rather than let someone get the drop on her. She was a professional liar, thief, and con artist. It was only Luke and Leia that had managed to keep her around so long, she told herself. She wasn’t a good person, not really.
But then she’d seen the way Luke’s eyes were bright and excited after her dramatic return during the Death Star incident. She’d seen the gratitude on the faces of the surviving rebels, how her stories of smuggling both inspired amusement and resolved determination in the eyes of so many pilots. Some twenty year old came up to her last year and said that Hana’s recounting of stories as a smuggler helped her out of a tight jam with an Imperial checkpoint. A flurry of emotions had roiled through her gut at the time and even now, her stomach roils at the memory. The way they all seem to see goodness within her, the way that Luke said that he absolutely knew that Hana would be the one to recklessly charge after him and save him when he went missing a few days back. The way that the other Alliance leaders trust her and give her important missions with the complete confidence that she’ll do her job well, that she’ll do the right thing , whatever that phrase even means. But then above everything else, the way that the Princess, who she loved to bicker and argue with, smiled at her and said that she trusted Hana completely. That she saw the good in her. Hana didn’t really know if there was good in herself or not, but to see Leia’s smiles, to see her curled up into her, to kiss her as they did now… well, Hana could continue on like this, could pretend she was a good person.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hana should have known that trusting Lando was a mistake. It had been some time since they’d last seen each other, long enough for the pair of them to have changed far too much to be kindred spirits anymore. Lando had become a hotshot administrator, profiting off all the tibanna gas mining Bespin could handle. He had a veritable kingdom across the gaseous planet and it was to his little kingdom that he so desperately clung to. She knew that he could be greedy and grasping for more, at some point she had been the same and wouldn’t have found herself so disgusted at the idea. She’d probably have thought that it was just honest to be those things instead of pretending otherwise. But perhaps the Princess was rubbing off on her, changing the way she saw things. At one point in time, Hana would have been upset about getting sold out, but not necessarily so angry. It was a hazard of the business, really.
But now something was different. The betrayal stung at her core, fueled her fury and bitterness. But what troubled her most was the danger this put the whole of the Alliance and the Rebellion into. The Princess ( her Princess a possessive part of her brain whispered) was too vital to the Rebellion, if something happened to her it would be a death blow that would take possibly decades to recover from. Not to mention what it would do to her own heart. And then it occurred to her how upset she was about the risk to the Rebellion, how invested she was, how much she genuinely cared about the fight, the struggle for freedom and the end of the Empire.
The realization was a strange one, she’d known this on some subconscious level for a few years now. But to accept that she genuinely cared, that she believed in the cause, that perhaps there did exist within her that same goodness she saw in all the other officers. That she wasn’t necessarily different from the likes of General Madine, whose struggles with what he did while fighting for the Empire she could truly empathize with. Her own stint as a pilot was nowhere near as bad as what Crix Madine, former hero of the Empire, had done with his commandos. But in some ways the awful things she’d done while working for Jabba and other assorted crime lords came close, or at least close enough for her to understand Madine's relentless and tireless efforts to free the galaxy and to make up in his mind for what he’d done.
Hana bitterly laughed as the Scan Grid sparked and stabbed into her, sending unimaginable agony through every nerve in her body. It had taken this long for her to get it. The good that Leia, Luke, and the others saw in her, what they saw in her long before she herself did, existed.
The Imperial interrogator and the Scan Grid operator looked at her with frustration.
“Quiet!” one barked
“Did you put the settings too high? How did we scramble her brain already?”
“I went with Lord Vader’s instructions! Let’s see you do better, Mr ‘I don’t have a torture certification.’”
“That’s Captain I don’t have a torture certification to you, Lieutenant.”
They bickered and Hana felt a brief reprieve from the pain as it transformed into aches echoing across her muscles. Her head screamed from the headache and her eyes were held closed, as she was pretty sure she’d throw up if she opened them due to the pain.
“Honestly I think the two of you flirting over there is worse than this pathetic thing,” she snarked. “At least the probe doesn’t whine so much.”
Hana laughed again as the torture resumed. Screams replaced the laughs. She thought about dancing with Leia on a beach and focused all her slipping synapses and mental faculties on that image. If they were determined to torture her into insanity, she would at least have a happy image as the last thing seared into her mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hana!”
“RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!”
She kept her eyes shut as she felt furry arms lift her up and lower her on a bench of some kind. Familiar soft hands slipped under her head and lowered it into a lap. Even through her clothes, Hana was sure she could recognize the soft limbs of Leia anywhere.
“Hana, please wake up,” Leia whispered. Her hands stroked Hana’s sweaty and tangled hair.
“Don’t worry Your Worshipfulness, I’m awake. I’d just prefer to not throw up all over your pretty lap by opening my eyes,” Hana said, forcing a grin she didn’t feel to her face. All the muscles in her face hurt and ached, but she’d suffer through it if it made Leia feel even the slightest bit better.
“Idiot,” Leia grumbled as she continued her ministrations. “Did they do something in particular to your eyes?”
This time a genuine slight smile crept to Hana’s lips at the concern. That was Leia alright, always concerned for others, even for a scoundrel such as herself.
“Nah, the Scan Grid gave me a terrible migraine, although it might have been the obnoxious bickering between the technicians. It was almost as bad as the dinner with Vader.”
Her mind jumped back to that moment, flashes of her reckless attempt to kill the tyrant and flashes of Leia reaching for her hand under the table and holding Hana’s tight. The unsaid reassurance that they’d get through it, that they would do it together . A lot of her life had been defined by struggles with connecting with others, with believing she worked better on her own, that she didn’t need anyone but herself. But after three years of being with others, friends , after three years of her and Chewie never truly being alone or isolated from each other or any of the others, she recognized that she was wrong, that she definitely needed others in her life. And now, after just a week of having her, Hana knew she wouldn’t be able to function without Leia in her life.
“A Scan Grid?” Leia’s voice was filled with righteous fury.
“Yeah. Wasn’t fun. I hope the bastards didn’t use those on either of you,” Hana said.
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRR,” Chewbacca said.
Hana flinched and cringed at that.
“Oh buddy, sonic sounds? I’m so sorry…” she said, feeling a sickness in her stomach. Wookiees and their blasted good hearing came back to bite them in the ass in the same way Trandoshan slavers would incapacitate their furry prey.
“They didn’t use a Scan Grid on me,” the Princess said in a hushed tone.
Hana tried to repress the rage building within her, so she slipped a trembling hand up to where she thought Leia’s face would be and Leia moved to rest her check in the smuggler’s palm.
“I’m not sure what it was exactly, but it was some sort of helmet that kept me trapped in my nightmares. Watching Tarkin destroy Alderaan, the dead that littered the halls at Echo Base, the… the nightmares where I lose you ,” Leia’s voice became little more than a whisper by the end.
“You’ll have me as long as you want me, Princess,” Hana smiled as she opened her eyes carefully. Her head hurt and her stomach churned at the lighting, but she was more than happy to suffer through it for her Princess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her past with Jabba was going to catch up to her sooner, rather than later. The only thing protecting her so far had been her reckless daring, her importance in the Rebellion affording her a level of importance that made it hard for bounty hunters to circumvent, and self preservation instincts. On some level it stung that she’d been so reckless and trusting as it had gotten them captured and tortured. The smuggler in her chided her for such a mistake. But the sting was alleviated somewhat by the realization that Hana didn’t see herself as being a smuggler anymore, that it was just a part of her rather than all that she was. Sure, her smuggler’s instincts was upset at the mistake, but the part of her that Luke idolized, the part of her that Leia seemed to be enamored with, cared less about the betrayal. She couldn’t forgive Lando for this, but that wasn’t her primary concern. It was protecting Leia, Chewie, R2, Luke (she was so mad at that boy for being so easily baited while he’s off learning magic tricks or whatever), and even that obnoxious gold plated busybody C-3PO. When she learned that she’d be frozen in carbonite and given to Jabba to perpetually leer at, to show off as a prized trophy, to use as a lesson to those who defied him, she’d been sickened of course. But then she realized that this was the only way to get the bounty hunters off the backs of the others. Leia was so clever and resourceful, she’d find a way off Bespin with Chewie at her side. But it couldn’t be done with Hana there as a chain holding them back. Leia would probably hate her for going along with allowing herself to be frozen and sent to Jabba, but she’d do it to keep her safe.
Hana was handcuffed as she and the others were escorted into the carbonite freezing chamber. Chewie looked sorrowful and Hana could tell he had been crying. She maintained a brave face and a cocky grin as she walked past him.
“Chin up, Chewie. I need you to keep an eye on the Princess, make sure she stays out of trouble. And when she does inevitably get into trouble, you tear trouble’s arms off.”
Chewie barked with laughter despite the situation.
“Don’t worry Princess, you won’t get rid of me this easily,” she said with an even cockier grin as she stepped in front of Leia and lifted her cuffed hands to stroke the Princess’ cheek. Leia’s eyes were puffy and red and Hana hated seeing her like this. A strand of her own hair fell into her face in a rather annoying spot.
“Think you can fix that for me, sweetie?” She asked.
Leia snorted with amusement, but gingerly moved the hairs of her shortish hair back around her ears.
“I’ll find you,” Leia whispered softly.
Hana didn’t say anything, instead she leaned down and met Leia’s lips with her own. They parted reluctantly and as she was pushed over to the stage she was to stand on, Hana flashed Leia a wink and smirked at her. The smoke and steam hissed to life as the section of floor she was standing on rumbled and began to descend.
“I love you,” Leia called out.
Not long ago Hana would have disbelieved those words out of the belief that she wasn’t good enough to be loved by Leia, by her Princess. But after Hoth, after all they had shared with each other, with how much Hana realized that she had grown as a person, she had changed, to become better, she was able to fully believe those words.
“I know.”
The gas hit her body several seconds later and as she felt herself freeze, Hana’s last thoughts were of Leia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Falcon was cold and lonely without its captain. Lando proved himself to have a better heart than Leia previously thought, but Lando was no Hana. The only salve to this bitter situation she found herself in was that they had gotten Luke back. Sure, the reckless idiot had somehow lost a hand after trying to fight Darth Vader , like the brave fool he was. But he was safe again. A hand could be replaced, but the hole that Luke would leave if he died could not be replaced. Just as the hole in her heart left by Hana could not be.
Once they were safely in the hyperlanes and Luke was stabilized, Leia allowed herself to feel the brunt of the past 48 hours. The torture had been bad enough, but she’d have agreed to do it again if it had meant that Hana could still be there. She honestly wasn’t sure how Luke would take the news. She knew that Luke idolized the woman and saw her as the big sister he clearly wished he had growing up. Leia herself had been so annoyed with Hana’s constant sarcasm and sleazy charm, but it really hadn’t taken long for her to realize that no matter how cheesy or lame Hana’s flirting techniques could get, they absolutely worked on her. Especially that kriffing smirk of hers when she had locks of her hair blown slightly out of place and it framed her handsome face so beautifully.
Almost by pure habit, Leia found herself in the Captain’s Quarters. There weren’t many personal decorations in there, unless one counted Hana’s countless leather jackets and bottles of liquor as decor. Her heart hurt at the thought of Hana not being there to smugly invite her in at night. Sure, it had started as a way to keep warm, but well… Leia had fixed the heat exchanger at least three days before they got to Bespin. It had taken a bit for Hana to realize it, but she became so very smug when she realized that Leia kept returning to her at night not because she was cold, but because she wanted the older woman’s company.
Leia spied a bottle of spiced Corellian rum on the desk at the opposite end of the room. On impulse, she walked over and looked it over before pouring herself a drink. It took maybe two glasses before she decided to just drink from the bottle as she stumbled around the room. She didn’t particularly like being drunk, but well, the smell reminded her of Hana. Her mind quickly filled itself with memories of waking up or falling asleep with her face buried in the smuggler’s neck.
She decided that she could afford to let herself cry to get it out of her system. She’d need to be strong soon, to be the leader the Rebellion needed, to be there for Luke, for Chewie, and now for Lando as they fought the Empire. The tears began to fall. Leia buried her face into one of Hana’s old shirts that still carried her scent on it. As she cried and let herself wallow for a little bit, she reminded herself of the need to press onwards, to remain hopeful. Not just for the Rebellion, but for getting Hana back to her.