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I’ll Be Home for Christmas 2

Carly and Sam laughed uncontrollably as they slid across the ice, gripping each other’s hands tightly.  The outdoor skating rink was crowded with happy people and the sky was gray.  This was only their third time ice skating.  Their first would have been when Spencer and Ms. Ackerman had briefly dated.  And their second time was nearly a year ago, the day after Christmas.  They were both still novices at it and had slipped and fallen twice already.  Both times, Sam had made sure to take the brunt of the fall to prevent Carly from any harm.

Sam gazed over at Carly’s happy face, her cheeks tinted pink from the cold, and smiled at her girlfriend.  She couldn’t believe they had been together for almost a year now.  It had been the best year of Sam’s life.  Their friendship and love had only grown more and more since last Christmas when they finally got together.  Carly glanced over to Sam and caught her staring at her.

“What?” Carly asked with a smile on her face.

“Nothing,” Sam replied a bit sheepishly.  “Just realizing how lucky I am.”

“Lucky?” Carly asked, her heart skipping a beat at Sam’s smile.

“Yeah,” Sam answered, “I got the most beautiful girl here at the skating rink.  And all of Seattle.”

“Aww,” Carly replied, her face flushing even more, “but, you got that wrong.  I got the most beautiful girl.”  She leaned over to kiss Sam on the cheek but when she did, it caused them to lose their balance and both toppled to the hard ice.  “Whoa!” Carly cried out as they fell.  Luckily, Sam had grabbed Carly and pulled her towards her so that the brunette would land safely on top of the blonde.

The two laughed as they landed and caught their breath, Carly laying on top of Sam’s chest.  “If you could maybe hold off on the kissing while we’re in ice skates, Cupcake, that would probably be for the best,” Sam said with a grin.

“Sorry,” Carly replied bashfully.  “But you can’t say stuff like that and not expect me to want to kiss you.”  The two stared into each other’s eyes for a beat and Carly asked, “Are you okay?”

“Never better, Cupcake,” Sam replied, her heart fluttering at the way her girlfriend was looking at her.  The brunette’s face was only inches away from her own.  Carly took the opportunity to peck Sam on the lips and grinned at her when she pulled away.  Sam’s face flushed and she grinned back.  The two 15-year-olds helped each other up, difficult as it was to do without slipping.

After they righted themselves, Sam grabbed Carly’s hand and the two began skating again, a slow, steady glide across the ice.  A nearby speaker played happy, upbeat Christmas music.  As they skated, Carly thought back to the past year.  She had been through so much with Sam.  Each event had only brought them closer and closer together.  Briefly losing their website to Nevel.  The brunette fighting Shelby Marx.  Sam’s twin sister, Melanie, visiting.  The dreaded Missy Robinson returning and trying to steal Carly from Sam.  Helping Principal Franklin get his job back.  Reuniting Lewbert with his long-lost love, who turned out to be crazy.  And the most recent, was their brush with death when Carly and Sam found themselves dangling from a window washer’s platform after they had fought with one another and briefly quit iCarly.

Carly thought back to that night two weeks ago.  She and Sam had been fighting but after they had nearly lost their lives and saved each other, their fight felt like nothing.  After being pulled to safety, they’d hugged and cried and realized how important the other one was and it made them remember how much they loved each other.  Nothing else mattered except being in each other’s arms.  It rekindled their spark and later that night they’d made love for the first time in Carly’s bed.  Afterwards, they’d held each other all night as they slept.  Since then, they’d taken every opportunity to be intimate with each other.  They found that it was their new favorite activity.

Carly squeezed Sam’s hand and the blonde looked over to her with a smile, causing the brunette’s heart to flutter again.  Sam could always make her pulse speed up with just a look.  The two teens continued to skate for another 15 minutes and then decided to take a break.  After returning to the bench to swap out their skates for their shoes, they headed over to a concession stand that was selling snacks and beverages.  They both ordered some hot apple cider.  Sam stuffed her blue gloves into her gravy-colored jacket that Carly had given her for Christmas the previous year and pulled out her wallet to pay for their drinks.

“You don’t have to-,” Carly started but was cut off by Sam.

“It’s okay.  I got it, Cupcake,” Sam replied with a grin as she slapped a couple dollar bills on the table.  Carly smiled and put her money back in her pocket.  Sam had started doing that more and more, offering to buy things for Carly when she could.  She couldn’t always afford certain things but she wanted to be a good girlfriend, and Carly was usually the one paying for the both of them since the brunette knew Sam didn’t have much money.

The concession worker picked up the money and set down two paper cups of hot apple cider for them.  After retrieving their drinks, the two of them wandered around the area and chatted as they sipped their hot beverages.  In addition to the skating rink, there were also stands of various Christmas items for sale, a playground area for smaller kids, and a face-painting booth.

“What do you say, Carls?  Want to have your face painted?” Sam asked as they stepped in front of the booth.

“Hmm, maybe, if you also get yours painted,” she replied.

“I could go for something small.  Maybe just something on my cheek.  I don’t think I could handle my whole face being covered.”

“I’m gonna get a pink unicorn!” Carly exclaimed, suddenly excited.

Sam chuckled, “Why a pink unicorn?”

“Because pink unicorns are awesome!” she replied.

“Can’t argue with that,” Sam agreed.  They both got settled onto a stool and the artists began their work.

After they were done, Carly had a cute pink unicorn with a rainbow tail on her left cheek.  When she looked over to see what Sam had gotten, her expression turned to enamored.  Sam had a cupcake with pink frosting and blue sprinkles on her cheek.  “Aww, a cupcake?” the brunette asked.

“Of course, Cupcake,” Sam replied with a grin.  Carly paid for the paintings and the two of them strolled through the park hand in hand to check out the other festivities.  The sky grew darker with the setting sun and different trees around the area began to light up with Christmas lights.  The couple came across a man selling Christmas trees and they strolled through to look at all the different trees.  The smell of the various firs alone was enticing enough.

“So, has Spencer picked up your tree yet?” Sam asked.

“Not yet,” Carly replied.  “As much as I ended up liking his magnetic tree last year, I really hope we can get a more traditional one this year.  I love the smell of Christmas trees.”

The two wandered to a more secluded section towards the back rows where the trees were lined up closer together and there weren’t any customers around.  Carly took the opportunity to pull Sam close and kiss her.  Her arms went around Sam’s neck and the blonde wrapped hers around Carly’s back.  As they kissed, a light snow began to fall and they pulled apart a couple inches when they felt the cold tinge of snowflakes on their faces.

They looked up towards the sky and smiled.  It was the first snowfall of the season.  “I didn’t realize it was supposed to snow tonight,” Carly said in surprised delight.

“Me either,” Sam agreed.  Their eyes slowly returned to each other and their faces drew together once more.  The kiss started off gentle but soon turned more heated.  They savored each other’s lips for several moments until they heard someone’s footsteps approaching.

Pulling their lips apart with a soft smooch sound, they disentangled from each other and continued to pretend to browse the Christmas trees.  The owner of the tree stand appeared around the corner and eyed the two girls suspiciously.  Carly and Sam stiffened at almost getting caught making out.  Sam was hiding her grin, while Carly was pursing her lips trying to look nonchalant.  Then the owner slowly wandered back up to the front.  The two girls couldn’t contain their snickers once he left.

They decided to head back out to the main park area and strolled hand in hand through the grounds.  Snowflakes continued to fall softly around them.  They walked a short distance away from the rest of the crowds and both got settled on a bench.  Carly shivered and Sam asked, “You cold, Cupcake?”

“A little,” the brunette admitted.

Sam wrapped her arm around her girlfriend and scooted closer to share her warmth.  “Better?” she asked.

“Much,” Carly replied, staring into the blonde’s eyes with a warm smile.

Sam grinned back and their faces drew together for a kiss.  Their lips rolled together tenderly and then they pulled back to stare into each other’s eyes.

Carly cleared her throat and then shyly asked, “So, does your mom have any plans for Christmas?  Because I was thinking…I mean, I was hoping…that maybe you could spend the day with me…if, you know, you don’t already have plans.”  Christmas was still several days away and the brunette had been looking forward to spending the holidays with Sam again like she had last year.

Sam grinned at her.  She always found Carly’s shy side to be adorable.  “You mean, the nub hasn’t roped you and Spencer into working a jigsaw puzzle with him and Mrs. Benson for the day?”

“Well, he’s asked,” Carly replied, “but I didn’t say I’d go.”

Sam shook her head and rolled her eyes.  Freddie had been jealous of their relationship ever since last Christmas when they’d gotten together.  He couldn’t believe that Carly had professed her love for Sam and that they were still together a whole year later.  They’d stayed friends with him and continued to do iCarly but the tech producer hadn’t hidden his disdain for Sam and their relationship.  Carly had been trying to keep Freddie in her life because they’d been friends for so long but Sam would be more than happy to find a new tech producer for iCarly.

“I think he’s still hoping you’ll dump me and go out with him,” Sam said with a frown.

“Well, that’s never gonna happen.  Not in a million years,” Carly replied, “I thought he had gotten over me and that things were getting better between you.  You two can usually, at least, tolerate each other enough to be in the same room without killing each other.”

“Maybe before you and I coupled up,” Sam replied sadly, “but not since then.  And definitely not after yesterday.”

The previous day, the three of them were all hanging out in Carly’s room, discussing ideas for their webshow when Freddie found a pair of Sam’s boxers in Carly’s bed, under a pillow.  Carly and Sam had laughed it off but Freddie had put two and two together and realized that his two best friends were sexually active with each other.  His face had turned beet red and Sam had never seen him so angry.  The tech producer had stormed out of the room without so much as a “see ya around” and slammed the front door when he’d left the Shay apartment.

“I think he was okay with us when he thought we were just dating and kissing,” Sam added.  “Well, not ‘okay’…but he tolerated us.”

“We deserve more than just tolerance though,” Carly input, “we deserve respect.  Straight couples don’t have to hide who they are or their relationships.  We shouldn’t have to either.”

Sam smiled at her with admiration.  Carly had come a long way.  When they had first gotten together, she had been afraid to tell Spencer.  But Sam could understand.  She hadn’t even told her mother yet.  But that was a completely different situation.  “I agree,” Sam replied.  “But my point is, I think Freddie was in denial about our relationship.  He thought it would just be a glorified friendship.  Just more of the same, but maybe with some hand holding and a peck on the cheek every now and then.  He can’t accept the fact that we’re actually in a romantic, physical relationship.  He’s been holding out hope this whole time that you’d come to your senses and realize you’re not gay.  Now that he knows for sure that we’re actually serious, he’s been downright jealous and spiteful.”

“Maybe he just needs to get used to the idea.  You think we’ll have to find a new tech producer?” Carly asked with sadness in her eyes.

“I wouldn’t be too torn up about it,” Sam replied.  “Would you?”

“We’ve been friends with him for so long,” Carly pointed out.

“You’ve been friends with him for so long,” Sam corrected.  “I’ve merely tolerated him for your sake.  If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even speak to him.  And I feel like the only reason he’s ‘friends’ with us is because he just wants to get in your pants.”

“But he’s gotta know by now that that’s not gonna happen, right?”

“One with a brain would think.  But this is Freddie we’re talking about here.  He likes to pretend he’s intellectual, but I actually know more about all the tech stuff for our show than he does.  We don’t really need him.”

Carly tilted her head in an acknowledging way.  It was true that Sam knew how to do all the techy stuff better than Freddie.  She just didn’t show off her knowledge like the tech producer liked to.  And Sam was usually just too lazy to do it all herself.  She’d rather focus on the creative stuff with her beautiful girlfriend.  But she had proven over the years that she was secretly tech-savvy.  She knew what MPEG stood for, while Freddie got it wrong, causing the tech producer to lose a bet and have to get a tattoo of Sam’s face on his bicep.  She’d set up an entire entertainment system in the locker she had to briefly share with Freddie and even programmed the “Random Dancing” bit to play with the touch of a remote.  She knew how to set up hidden cameras in the Shay living room when Freddie had had his date with Valerie so she and Carly could spy on them from up in the studio.  And it was Freddie’s fault both times they had accidentally hurt Lewbert.  The first time being the muffin basket that exploded, which was made by Freddie.  And the second time was the ceiling fan that fell on the doorman, which had been assembled by the tech producer, even though he claimed to be a techy smart kid.

And throughout their friendship with Freddie, he was the one constantly using technobabble in an attempt to sound smarter and more important, even though he used it incorrectly most of the time.

“He doesn’t really help himself, does he?” Carly said, thinking back to some of the more ridiculous things he’s said.

“No,” Sam replied with a snort, “I mean, what the heck is a ‘dual hemi processor’ anyway?  That’s not even an actual component in a computer.”  She recalled some of the technobabble he’d said before when talking about a laptop and realized that he was making stuff up at the time.  “He seemed to have mixed up computer parts and car parts.”

The two of them laughed.  Carly remembered when he’d said that.  The two girls had looked at each other like Freddie had lost his mind.  “And why is he always saying things incorrectly in Spanish?” Sam added on.

“Okay, okay,” Carly chuckled, “enough with the Freddie bashing.  He doesn’t always get things wrong in Spanish.  Just half the time.  I think he just needs some time to cool off.  Hopefully, he’ll get over the fact that his two best friends are…”

“Knocking boots?” Sam offered with a grin when Carly trailed off.

Carly snorted, “I prefer ‘intimately sharing our love’.”  Sam grinned at her.  She loved that Carly was so proper about it.  And loved it even more that Carly always referred to it as love.  “What?” the brunette asked when she realized Sam was gazing at her intently.

Sam shook her head, “Oh, nothing.  You’re just ridiculously adorable.”

Carly’s face flushed and Sam caressed her cheek tenderly as she drew her in for another kiss.  The brunette let out a soft moan as their lips rolled together.  Sam always seemed to say the right things to her to make her heart flutter.  As they kissed, Carly gripped her fingers into Sam’s collar to keep her from going anywhere.  Although, it wasn’t as if Sam had any plans to run off unexpectedly.  The brunette probed Sam’s mouth, caressing her girlfriend’s tongue with her own.  It was Sam’s turn to let out a soft moan.  They finally had to pull back for some much-needed air and the two just sat there panting and staring into each other’s eyes.

Carly realized that Sam hadn’t answered her question about having plans for Christmas but before she could broach the subject again, they both heard a loud car horn blaring.  Turning their heads to the source of the nuisance, they saw that it was Sam’s mom sitting in her old beat up junker of a car at the curb, giving Sam a death stare.  She blared the horn again for a steady five seconds and then started waving Sam over.

“Shit!” Sam mumbled under her breath.  There’s no denying what the two of them had been doing.  Carly and Sam still had their arms wrapped around each other and were sitting intimately close.  Even if Mrs. Puckett hadn’t seen them kissing, it was a dead giveaway that they were together.

“Oh, no,” Carly whispered as the two of them separated from each other.  “Do you think she saw us kissing?”

“Doesn’t matter now,” Sam replied.  “She’s pissed.  I’d say she knows, regardless.”

Sam hadn’t come out to her mother yet but it was a safe bet that she knew about their relationship now.  The blonde gulped hard.

Mrs. Puckett rolled down the windows of her car and yelled, “SAM!  GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!  NOW!!!”  And then she continued to beat the horn over and over.  Several other people had noticed the commotion and were now looking back and forth between Pam’s car and the startled couple sitting on the bench.

“Uh, I should probably go,” Sam said with a hint of fear in her voice.  “Sorry, Cupcake.  Will you be alright walking home by yourself?”

“Oh,” Carly stammered, “Y-yeah, I’ll be fine.”  The Bushwell Plaza was only a couple blocks away but Carly wasn’t used to being out in the city after dark on her own.  She usually had Spencer or Sam with her.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked, not wanting Carly to be scared or put her in any danger.  All the while, Pam continued to blast the car horn rudely.

“Yeah, Sam.  I’ll be fine.  You shouldn’t keep her waiting,” Carly said.  “Are you going to be okay?”  She was suddenly fearful of what Mrs. Puckett would do to Sam.

“SAM!  DON’T KEEP ME WAITING!” Pam yelled from her car.  “IF YOU MAKE ME GET OUT OF THIS CAR…!”  Then she blared the car horn to emphasis her point.

Sam swallowed hard again.  “It’ll be fine.  I-I’ll call you when I get home,” Sam replied, trying to give her girlfriend a smile but failed to hide her worry.

“Okay, love you,” Carly murmured softly as she squeezed Sam’s hand.

“Love you too,” Sam replied and then stood to leave.  She had wanted to give her girlfriend a quick goodbye kiss, but thought it was better not to in front of her already pissed off mother.

Carly watched Sam approach the beat-up car and get in on the passenger side.  The brunette sighed heavily as the car sped off down the street.  She thought about calling Spencer to come get her but decided she would just walk home.  It would be a quick 10-minute walk.

Sam was quiet as her mother started the drive home.  A quick glance over to the driver’s seat and she could tell that her mother was fuming.  She didn’t know what to do so she just remained as quiet as possible.  She was too scared to even breathe loudly.

Carly crossed her arms against her chest as she walked, shivering in the cold.  She had been scared the second she realized Sam wouldn’t be walking her home but she didn’t want to show it in front of her girlfriend.  She knew that Sam had enough to deal with.  As she walked, a cold wind blew past her, causing her hair to blow wildly.  She shivered again and picked up the pace.  As she passed by a dark alleyway, she suddenly felt rough hands grab her from behind, an arm wrapping around her chest and a hand covering her mouth so she couldn’t scream.  Her eyes bulged as fear shot through her veins and her scream was muffled.

She began to struggle as she felt herself being pulled into the alley.  After being dragged into the shadows, she was thrown to the ground.  She landed in a cold puddle with a yelp and a splash.  When she looked up, her face was met with a fist as she was cruelly punched in the eye and she crumpled back down to the pavement.  Tears stung her eyes as she looked back up at her attacker, only to realize there were three large men staring down at her.

The car ride had been eerily silent for the first few minutes until Mrs. Puckett finally spoke up.

“How long?” Pam growled out.

“What?” Sam asked nervously.

“How long have you and Carly been…together?”

Sam gulped.  She didn’t know what to say, so she just answered truthfully.  “About a year.”

“A year?!” Pam exclaimed in shock, unable to process that her daughter had been dating a girl, or anybody, for that long.  None of her own relationships ever lasted longer than a couple weeks.  “And you two have been…” she trailed off as she swirled her finger around in the air, “you know.”

Sam just stayed silent.  It wasn’t any of her mother’s business what she did with Carly behind closed doors.  At her silence, Pam grimaced in disgust and then gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“Well, I hope it was worth it,” Mrs. Puckett seethed through gritted teeth.  “Everyone knows now.  That you’re a…”

“A what?!” Sam asked, angry now.

“A dyke!” Pam yelled back, finally looking her daughter in the eyes.

Sam’s breath hitched and she felt tears stinging her eyes but she held them back.  Pam looked back to the road.  “I can’t believe you would kiss her public for all the world to see,” the older blonde growled out.

“Why?” Sam asked, her voice shaking a bit.  “You kiss your boyfriends in public.”

“It’s different and you know it!”

The two were quiet for a long while and then Pam spoke in a low, haunting voice.  “I hope you enjoyed yourself because that’s the last time you’ll ever see Carly.”

Sam’s head snapped over to look at her mother.  She couldn’t speak.  Words refused to form in her mouth.  But she knew her mother’s statement was bullshit.  She’d never let anyone keep her from being with Carly.  Just then, Sam’s phone began to ring and she pulled it out of her pocket to see that it was Carly calling her.

“Don’t you even think about answering her!” Pam yelled.  Sam began to unlock her screen but her mother grabbed her phone and rolled down the driver’s side window.

“No, mom!  Don’t!” Sam yelled, her voice pleading as she tried to grab her phone back.

The cruel woman hurled Sam’s cell phone out the window and Sam stared in shock as it went sailing through the air and landing the snow.  Then Pam casually rolled the window up.

“I told you not to answer it!” Mrs. Puckett growled.

Sam finally let the tears fall down her cheeks.  But her shock quickly turned to anger and the last place she wanted to be was trapped in the car with her hateful mother.  She opened her door and dove out, much to Pam’s shock.

“Sam!” Mrs. Puckett yelled as the teen hit the pavement and rolled off to the side.

Groaning in pain, Sam quickly got to her feet and ran off towards the direction where her cell phone had landed.  Pam had slammed on the brakes and then pulled the car off to the side of the road.  Sam searched the sidewalk and the snow-covered grassy areas near the road for her phone.  Luckily, she found it quickly and it was still in one piece.  After retrieving it, she slipped it into her pocket just as her mother approached her.

“Are you out of your mind?!  Jumping from a moving vehicle!  You could have been killed!  And for what?!  To call your disgusting little girlfriend?!”

Sam slapped her mother hard across the face, shutting her up; a shocked look on the older woman’s face.  “Don’t you ever call her that!” Sam yelled back angrily.  “Like you even care if I get hurt diving from a moving car!  Carly has always cared about me!  You never did!  You never took care of me!”

“If only I’d had just one daughter,” Pam growled in a low, cold tone, clutching her cheek.  Sam was taken aback.

She pursed her lips in disbelief.  “Yeah, if only, huh, mom?” she replied bitterly.  “You and Melanie would have been so much better off without me, right?”

The two of them stared at each other in silence for a few seconds and then Sam’s phone started ringing again.  Sam pulled it out of her pocket and saw that it was Freddie’s number.  She sighed and then answered it.

“What?!” she yelled into the phone.

“WHERE WERE YOU?!” came Freddie’s shrill voice on the other end.

Sam froze.  Freddie sounded frantic.  “What?” she asked again, but calmer this time.

“Carly was mugged on her way home!” Freddie yelled back on the other end.

All the air left Sam’s lungs as she stood in shock.  But it only took two seconds for her legs to start working again.  She began sprinting towards Bushwall Plaza, ignoring her mother’s shouts from behind her.

Sam didn’t even wait for an elevator.  She ran up the eight flights of stairs to the Shays’ apartment.  Once she finally made it to their floor she paused as she saw Freddie exiting through their door after she round the corner.

“I-Is s-she…where…how did…?” Sam trailed off, not able to form a coherent sentence and panting from her exertion.

Freddie glared at her and then finally spoke in a low critical tone, “The police just left.  They got her statement.  Not that there was much of one.  I was just heading over to my place to grab some pain meds for Carly.  Apparently, they’re out.”  The two just stared at each other for a few moments and then Freddie finally spoke again.  “Where were you?  Why didn’t you walk her home?  She’s your girlfriend and you just left her out on the streets of Seattle all alone after dark?!”

Sam’s face fell as she glanced down at the floor.  She was already blaming herself.  She didn’t need Freddie doing it too.

“First, you defile her and then you let this happen?” Freddie all but growled at her.

Sam’s head snapped up and she glared angrily at him.  She really wanted to punch his head off.

“First of all, Fred-bag, nobody defiled anyone!  We’re intimate with each other because we love each other.  Get over it!  And second of all, I didn’t let this happen.  My mom swung by the park and saw us and she made me go with her.”

Freddie scoffed, “Nobody makes Sam Puckett do anything.”

“Do you live at my house?”

Freddie just shook his head at her, confused.

“Then you have no idea what life is like at the Puckett home, so shut up!”

“She counted on you, Sam!  And this happened on your watch!”

Sam didn’t have anything else to say.  She finally pushed past him and entered the Shay apartment.  She then raced up the stairs after throwing her leather jacket on the couch.  As she approached Carly’s bedroom door, she could hear her crying and it shattered Sam’s heart.  The door was open and she stepped into the entryway to see Carly curled up on the bed hugging Spencer, her back to her.  Sam’s heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest.

Spencer looked up at her and asked the same thing Freddie had asked, “Where were you?”

His accusing tone made her flinch and take a step back.  But when Spencer saw how afraid she looked, his features softened a bit.  She could deal with Freddie accusing her of something horrible like leaving Carly alone, but not Spencer.

“Spencer!” Carly gently reprimanded her brother around a sniffle.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer said as he pulled out of Carly’s arms.  “I’ll let you two talk.”  Then he got up and strolled past Sam, out of the room.

Carly rolled over to face Sam, and the blonde’s heart nearly jumped into her throat when she saw the bruise forming around her girlfriend’s left eye and her blouse was torn at the shoulder, showing off her pink bra strap underneath.  The brunette’s face was tear-stained and she reached both arms out towards Sam in a welcoming gesture.  “Hold me,” Carly murmured sadly and Sam slipped off her shoes and then crawled onto the bed.

They wrapped their arms around each other as they laid facing one another on the bed.  Carly buried her face in Sam’s chest and continued to sob.  Sam thought she would die from that heartbreaking sound.

After a few minutes, Sam finally spoke, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Cupcake.”

Carly just continued to sob as she clung to Sam.  The blonde’s worry began to fill her again, not knowing exactly what happened.  She was terrified to know, but needed to.  After a few more moments, she finally spoke up.

“Carls, what can I do?  To make it better?”

The brunette sniffle, “J-Just hold me.  Don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t go anywhere.  I promise.”  Sam just continued to hold her as she cried and stroked her hair.  She gulped and then finally asked, “Carls…what exactly happened?”  She heard her girlfriend take a deep breath.

“I-I was walking home and…out of nowhere I felt someone grab me from behind,” Carly began around a sniffle.  “They dragged me into an alley and threw me down.”

Sam started shaking uncontrollably, fear entering her heart at what Carly was about to tell her.

“Then one of them punched me and when I looked up, I saw that it was three big, scary men.”

Sam’s breathing increased and her heart started racing.  She could feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins, causing her body to shake even more.

“T-They said…some horrible things.  Gross things,” Carly went on.  “And one of them grabbed me by my shoulder and stood me up.  He grabbed at my blouse and ripped it as I tried to run away.  But he threw me up against the wall and pinned me there.”

Sam’s eyes were huge as she continued to listen.  She held her breath to keep from sobbing out loud.  Please, God, Sam thought desperately.  Please don’t let them have…

“I-I was facing away from them.  My cheek was pressed up against the wall.  And I could hear them…laughing and talking about…what they wanted to do.  To me.  The one who had me pinned…I-I felt his hands on me.  He pulled my wallet out of my pocket.”  She paused for a few moments, gathering her thoughts.

“Carls……did they…?” Sam couldn’t finish the sentence, her whole body tense.  She was praying it wasn’t what she was thinking.

“No,” Carly replied, and Sam let out a heavy breath in relief.

“H-How did you get away?” Sam asked.

“Well, they were about to…but suddenly there was this loud bang sound.  I thought it was a gun shot.  And I guess they did too because it scared them off.  They ran away and I turned to see that it had been a hobo standing at a nearby dumpster.  He must have slammed it shut.  That was the noise we heard.  I didn’t stick around to talk to him.  I just ran home.”

Sam breathed another sigh of relief and realized her whole body had been shaking in fear.

“Sam, I was so scared.  I’ve never been that scared in my life.  I tried to call you on my way home but I guess you didn’t hear your phone.”

Sam sighed heavily in guilt.  “I tried to answer but my mom threw my phone out the car window.  I dove out after it.”

“You what?” Carly asked in disbelief, her eyes going wide and staring directly into Sam’s.  “You dove out of a moving vehicle to answer my call?!”

“Y-Yeah,” Sam replied.  “My mom had just finished telling me that she wouldn’t let me see you again and I was pissed.”

“Oh, god,” Carly murmured, sadness filling her eyes, “so, she saw us kissing?”  Sam nodded sadly and Carly tilted her head in sympathy, her eyes softening.  She knew Sam’s mom was the judgmental type but she hoped with all her heart that she would accept Sam in time.  Carly caressed Sam’s cheek and asked, “Then what happened?”

“Luckily, I found my phone and my mom continued to insult me and basically wished she’d only had one daughter.”

“Oh, Sam,” Carly said in sadness, knowing how Mrs. Puckett often doted on Melanie and neglected Sam.

“She said some horrible things.  I actually slapped her for insulting you.  And our relationship.  But I think I just made things worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Carly replied in sympathy.

“Don’t worry about me, Cupcake.  I was terrified when I got Freddie’s call that you had been mugged.  I ran the whole way here.  I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.  It’s all my fault.”

“Sam,” Carly caressed the blonde’s cheek gently but firmly, “this isn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it is,” Sam retorted.  “If I had walked you home, this wouldn’t have happened.  They could have…”

“But they didn’t,” Carly cut in as Sam trailed off.

Sam gently traced the forming bruise around Carly’s left eye and frowned.  Her features were sad.  “They hurt you.  And they took your wallet.  And you were…”

“Luckily, I only had my school ID and twenty bucks in my wallet.”

“Carls…” Sam trailed off as she caressed her face, unable to express how sorry she was.

“I’ll be okay,” Carly replied, staring into her eyes, “now that you’re here.”

They got settled comfortably in each other’s arms.  Carly nuzzled her face into Sam’s neck and closed her eyes, finally feeling safe.  She felt Sam gently rubbing her back and she smiled and placed a kiss on her neck.  Sam could smell the wonderful aroma of beef cooking and realized Spencer must be making dinner downstairs.  A few minutes later, Sam heard Carly’s breathing become slow and deep and realized she’d fallen asleep.  Sam sighed in relief but, all the while, she had been blaming herself for Carly getting hurt.

The room was lit only by Carly’s bedside lamp and it was dark out.  But Sam could see out the windows, through the city lights outside, that it was still snowing.  Maybe they would have a white Christmas again this year.  Several minutes passed and Sam felt herself getting sleepy but she heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.  She assumed it was Spencer coming to check on Carly.

A few seconds later she heard Freddie clear his throat, “I brought some pain meds and a glass of water for Carly.”

Sam looked over her shoulder at him.  His voice sounded annoyed and he was glaring at her as he set the items on the bedside table.  “Why are you even still here?” he continued in a scathing tone.  Sam silently and carefully disentangled herself from Carly without waking her and got out of bed.  She jerked her head to the side, gesturing they should continue out in the hall.  Once they exited the bedroom, Sam closed the door behind her.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” Sam replied in a low angry voice, trying not to wake her girlfriend on the other side of the door.  “She’s my best friend and girlfriend.”

“Still?” Freddie asked, “I’d have thought she would have dumped your ass after tonight.”  Sam glowered at him and clenched her fists tightly.  “I hoped she would finally see the true Sam.  The selfish, lazy, unreliable Sam I’ve always seen, who only cares about herself and stuffing her face with ham!  Oh, and making my life a living hell!”

“You’re so out of line right now, Freddie!  I’m warning you!” Sam growled at him.

“Or what?  You’ll hit me?” Freddie retorted, raising his voice.  “Go ahead and do it!  Prove me right!  Let Carly see the real you!  The violent, destructive, selfish neanderthal who only cares about filling her stomach!  You’ve only ever just used Carly, caring more about what’s in her refrigerator!”

“I care about her!  What’s in her heart!  Unlike you.  You’ve never been a real friend!  You only ever cared about what’s in her pants!”

Freddie unexpectedly shoved Sam, causing her to stumble back a few feet into the wall.  Surprised, she shoved him back, causing his back to hit the opposite wall.  His eyes were wide in rage as he threw his first punch but Sam easily ducked out of the way and took the opportunity to ram her shoulder into his ribs, pinning him against the wall, making him grunt.  Freddie throwing the first punch was all the invitation she’d needed.  She started punching him in the stomach over and over, causing the tech producer to groan in pain.  “You fucking asshole!” Sam grumbled as she punched him in the face and ribs in rapid succession.  “I’ve hated you ever since you started following Carly around like a lost puppy!  She was never interested in you!  She only felt sorry for you!  You’re just jealous that she loves me!  You’ve always been jealous of me!”

He eventually was able to push her away, gripping her by the shoulders tightly with both hands.  After Sam’s back hit the wall, she grabbed his shoulders and shoved him right back into the opposite wall with a loud thud.

Freddie yelled out in frustration as he pushed with all his might against her, causing the two of them to burst through the bedroom door.  Carly was startled awake at the sound of the two of them crashing into the room and landing on the floor.  She couldn’t believe her eyes.  Freddie was on top of Sam, trying to choke her, his hands wrapped around her throat.  He had a bloody nose and a split lip and he never looked more livid in his life.  The blonde’s face was red from the exertion.

“I hate you, Sam Puckett!” he yelled in her face.  “You ruin everything!  Things would be perfect if you’d never come into Carly’s life!  She just pities you!  You’re nothing but an accident!  A waste of space!  Even your own mother despises you!  You disgusting bull dyke!  And now you’ve turned Carly!”

Sam grunted in rage as she used her leg to flip him over herself.  Freddie landed on his back and the two of them quickly got to their feet, breathing hard.  Sam wasted no time in punching him in the face with a loud smack, causing him to fall to the floor and then she was on him, punching him in the face over and over.  She got in several good hits before she felt hands gripping her shoulders from behind, tugging on her.

“Sam!  Stop!” Carly shouted.

By this point, Sam was gripping Freddie by his shirt collar and the tech producer was still on his back trying to shove her off.  Not wanting Carly to get hurt in the process, Sam eased up on her hold and allowed her girlfriend to pull her into an upright position.  But before they could regain proper footing, Freddie got in one last sucker punch to Sam’s jaw and caused her to flail backwards, accidentally sending her elbow crashing into Carly’s already bruised left eye and knocking her to the floor.

Carly cried out in pain and clutched her eye.  Sam and Freddie stopped fighting immediately and stared at her in shock.

“Cupcake, I’m so sorry!” Sam said, her features turning concerned.  She tried to help Carly up but Freddie grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her away.

“Get away from her!” Freddie yelled at Sam as if he were repulsed by her.  “Look what you did!  You hurt everyone you touch!”

“I…I didn’t…” Sam stuttered, looking at Carly’s shocked expression.  Tears were streaming down the brunette’s beautiful face as she sat on the floor gripping her eye.

In that instant, Sam felt like she’d committed the ultimate sin.  Hurting Carly.  Even though she didn’t mean to and it hadn’t been her fault.

“Why don’t you just get out of here?!” Freddie grumbled.  “You’ve done enough damage for one night!”

Carly gasped at him, not believing her ears.  “Sam, no.  It’s okay.  I’m okay,” she insisted.

“You’re bad for her,” Freddie added on.  “Look at her face!  She’s injured because of you!”

“Freddie, stop it!” Carly yelled at him.  “It’s not her fault!”

“She doesn’t even know you’re bad for her.  She’d be better off without you!” he continued to berate Sam.  He knew he was almost there.  Just one more little push.  “We’d all be better off if you’d never been born!”

The room was dead silent.  Sam felt all the air go out of her lungs.  Freddie had just voiced all of Sam’s insecurities and made them real.  Carly was gaping at him in shock at what he’d just said.  And Freddie was glaring daggers at Sam with a hint of a smirk, hoping that what he’d said would do the trick.  That Sam would leave forever.

One last look at Carly’s tear-stained face was all it took.  Sam grabbed her shoes and ran out of the room and down the stairs.

“Sam, no!  Come back!” Carly shrieked out in anguish, more tears slipping down her face.  “Freddie, what have you done?!”  She got to her feet and started for the door to go after Sam but Freddie put a hand on her shoulder stopping her.

“Just let her go.  She’s already gone anyway,” he muttered in disgust.

“I can’t believe you!” Carly shrieked at him.

Sam blew past Spencer on the stairway, not bothering to stop or explain.  “What’s going on?” Spencer asked in concern.  “I was just in the bathroom and I heard shouting.”

Sam didn’t answer him.  She just left the apartment in a hurry, not even bothering to grab her leather jacket off the couch.  She would stop to put on her shoes only once she’d put some distance between her and the situation.

“Freddie, how could you do that?!” Carly yelled as she slapped his hand away from her shoulder.  “How could you say those things to her?”

“Because they’re true!” Freddie replied in annoyance.  “Sam has done nothing but make my life a living hell ever since I met her.  She’s selfish and inconsiderate and-”

“And she turned me gay?!” Carly cut in angrily, using his own words.

“Well…yeah!” Freddie replied, suddenly feeling embarrassed.  “You’ve never been interested in girls.  But all of the sudden, you’re in love with Sam?  It doesn’t make any sense!”

“First of all, you’re a moron for thinking you can turn someone gay or straight!” Carly yelled at him.  “And secondly, I’m not ‘all of the sudden in love with Sam’.  I’ve always loved her.  I just didn’t realize what kind of love until last Christmas.  And you need to get over the fact that I’ve never had feelings for you and I never will!”

Carly eyed his face, noticing the damage done to it.  In addition to his bloody nose and split lip, he had bruises forming around his left eye and cheek.  “What happened?  How did the fight start?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Freddie replied, hoping to avoid telling her who threw the first punch.  “The point is, Sam’s violent.  And irresponsible.  If she had walked you home, you wouldn’t have been mugged.”

“It’s not her fault!” Carly yelled at him.  “And I can’t believe you said we’d all be better off if she’d never been born!  Sam already feels like her life was a mistake because her parents didn’t want her.  How could you say that to her?!  It’s not true!  She means everything to me!”

“I just can’t believe you’d actually have sex with her!”  And there it was, out in the open.

“IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, FREDDIE!”

“I just don’t get it!  All she ever does is hold you back!  Why do you love her?!”

They heard Spencer clear his throat in the hallway and realized he’d been there, in the doorway the whole time, listening.

Carly took in a sharp breath.  She felt like she was going to faint at her brother knowing about her and Sam in a physical relationship.  He’d been supportive of them since last Christmas when they’d gotten together but that didn’t mean he’d necessarily be happy about the fact that his little sister was no longer a virgin.

“Spencer…I…I…did you…?” Carly stuttered.

The tall artist looked bashful, as if he were intruding on something personal, but wanted to make sure everything was okay.  “Um, Sam left in kind of a hurry,” Spencer finally spoke up.  “She looked upset.  And I heard all the shouting.  Is everything alright?”  Carly was silent, embarrassed to her core, not sure what to say.  “Carly, it’s okay.  I’m not mad,” he added on with sympathy when he saw how mortified she was.

“You knew about this?” Freddie asked in astonishment.

“I mean, I just assumed it was a possibility,” Spencer replied softly as he stared at his sister.  “Sam sleeps over quite a bit.  In your bed.  And you two obviously really love each other.  Very deeply.”  He was looking Carly in the eye, trying to convey to her that it was okay.

“And you’re okay with it?!” Freddie shrieked out.

Spencer finally looked over to the tech producer with angry eyes.  “I trust Sam with my little sister,” he replied.  “I always have!  She’s always looked out for Carly and protected her.  She would never hurt her intentionally.  That’s more than I can say for you!”  Freddie looked shocked and embarrassed.  “Telling Sam, your friend, that she should never have been born and then insinuating that she turned Carly gay is an atrocious, hateful thing to do!”  Freddie looked down at the floor in shame.  “I think you should leave,” Spencer added angrily.  “I don’t want to look at you for the next several minutes or I might do or say something I shouldn’t.”

Without another word, Freddie stormed out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out of the Shay apartment.  Spencer pulled Carly in for a hug and she readily wrapped her arms around him.

Sam shivered as she strolled along the sidewalk, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her hoodie.  She regretted leaving her leather jacket at Carly’s, as the wind had picked up and the temperature dropped.  She sniffled and wiped the tears off her face.  She’d never felt so beaten in her life.  Not just the fight she’d just been in, but Freddie’s words.  She had always felt that she didn’t belong in Carly’s life.  She’d never felt good enough for her, or for her parents, or anybody.  Her mother always doted on her twin sister, Melanie.  Sam didn’t understand why no one seemed to love her.  Except Carly, that is.

Freddie’s right, Sam thought sadly.  I do hurt everyone I touch.  In just the span of a half hour she’d physically hurt her mom, Freddie, and her soul mate.  I can’t believe I hurt Carly!  Spencer probably hates me now.  They’d all be better off if I weren’t in their lives.  Carly would probably have 50 dates lined up by next week.  Spencer could probably afford more art supplies and nice things for Carly if I weren’t eating them out of house and home every day.  My mom wouldn’t even notice if I never came back.  And the nub would be the happiest out of all of them.

Sam thought back to the previous night.  Holding Carly in her arms all night after they’d both brought each other to their pinnacle, sharing their love for one another.  Spencer had almost caught them, naked, in bed together the next morning but luckily, Carly had remembered to lock the door.  Then they’d spent the day together, shopping and ice skating.  And taking every opportunity to kiss.  We were so happy, Sam thought as another tear slipped down her face.

How could I have hit her?  Hitting the nub felt right.  But I didn’t mean to hurt Carly.  I even hit mom, Sam thought sadly.  She didn’t necessarily feel bad about it since her mother didn’t hold back on the abuse at home.  But it had been the first time Sam had ever hit her mother.  In all the times Mrs. Puckett had beaten her, Sam had never fought back.  But she couldn’t take it when Pam started insulting Carly.

Several minutes later, Sam made it back to her apartment and was cautious as she entered through the front door.  She silently closed the door and peered around the room.  The living room was clear but she heard sound coming from the kitchen.  Just as she was about to sneak her way to her bedroom, Mrs. Puckett rounded the corner and caught Sam.  She had a glass of whiskey in her hand and she was glaring at her daughter.  Sam froze.

“Why aren’t you at your little girlfriend’s place?” the older woman sneered, and Sam could tell that she was drunk already.  “Did she break up with you already?”  Sam just remained quiet, not wanting to provoke, but her silence only annoyed Pam further.  “You know, I oughtta tear your hide for what you did earlier,” Mrs. Puckett went on.  “Embarrassing me like that and then you have to gall to slap me?!”

She strolled into the living room and plopped down on the couch.  Taking a swig of whiskey, she grabbed the remote and turned the TV on.  She glanced over to Sam and grumbled, “By the way, I got a phone call today.  Your teacher sent me the quote to have her car repainted.  Thanks to your little stunt at school last week, I can’t afford to fly Melanie home for Christmas and we’re going to be short on the rent money this month!  I hope you’re happy!  If there was an award for the biggest fuck up, you’d definitely take it home!”

Sam’s eyes fell to the floor.  She didn’t think she could feel any worse.  Last week, she’d completely covered Ms. Briggs’s car with shaving cream, effectively destroying the paint job.  The horrible teacher had agreed to not call the cops on Sam if they promised to pay to have her car repainted.  That was only because Principal Franklin had intervened.  If the kind, level-headed man hadn’t been there to talk Ms. Briggs down, she would have surely had Sam shipped off to juvie again and a lawsuit could have also happened.

Sam frowned.  She had actually been looking forward to seeing her sister, and now she’d have to spend her holidays alone at her boarding school.  And Sam would have to endure her mom on her own.  Not to mention, there would be no Christmas presents to hope for.  Not that there ever were any from her mom.  Nothing good anyway.  The previous year, after Sam had returned home from Carly’s where the Shays had given her the best Christmas ever, Mrs. Puckett had tossed Sam a lighter and a pack of cigarettes, saying “Merry Christmas, kid!  Smoke up!”

Sam had eventually traded the pack of cigarettes for a box of Fat Cakes from Rip Off Rodney at school.  She wanted to do everything to avoid becoming her mother.  And she knew Carly probably wouldn’t want to kiss her as much if she tasted like an ashtray.  The brunette would have also made it her mission to keep Sam from smoking due to all the health risks.

“Well, what was so important that you had to run off like that?” Pam growled out, still angry that Sam had slapped her and then abandoned her.

“Carly got mugged on her way home,” Sam muttered, finally looking her mother in the eye.

“Hmm,” Mrs. Puckett grunted, sounding disinterested and took another swig of her beverage.  “Well, I hope you said ‘goodbye’ to her.”

“What?” Sam asked.

“I told you, you’re not to see her again!” Pam yelled back.

“You can’t be serious!  Carly’s been my best friend for seven years!  I’m not just gonna drop her!  I love her!”

Mrs. Puckett recoiled.  “I can’t believe you’d make out with her in the park for the entire city to see!”

“How did you even know I was there in the first place?” Sam asked, wondering why her mother just happened to show up at the worst possible time.

“Your little geeky friend called and told me,” Pam answered.  “Frankie or Finley or something.”

“Freddie?!” Sam yelled back in shock.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Pam replied.  “That little nerd you’re always complaining about.  He called and told me you and Carly were an item and told me where to find you.  He sounded just as disgusted as I must have sounded when I found out.”

Sam was outraged.  She couldn’t believe Freddie had sold her out.  Sold them out.  She didn’t think he would do anything to hurt Carly but she’d underestimated his disdain for their relationship.  How jealous and petty can you get?! Sam thought with fury boiling her veins.  Sam knew Freddie had also been the one to tell on her to Ms. Briggs about the car prank and get her in trouble.  But she didn’t think he had the nerve to call her mom up and rat them out to the bigoted woman.  Sam hadn’t even told Carly about the fact that Freddie was the one who got her in trouble at school.

The only reason Sam had ruined Ms. Briggs’s car in the first place was because the mean teacher had said something very derogatory and homophobic to the two of them.  She’d said it right to their faces.  Sam couldn’t take the sad look on Carly’s face when a grownup had insulted their relationship.  She’d gotten the shaving cream that day and covered the evil woman’s car with it during lunch and it had sat out in the sun for the next few hours.  She got what she deserved, Sam had thought with a grin as she returned to her classes afterwards.  But she hadn’t known Freddie had been watching her.  The only reason she found out it was Freddie who told on her was because she spotted him coming out of the principal’s office just as she was about to enter.  She had been summoned to Franklin’s office and had noticed the tech producer wasn’t in their last class.  He’d given her a grin as they passed each other in the hallway that day.

She would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for Freddie.  And now, she’d just discovered that he was also the reason her mother was banning her from seeing Carly.  The reason she couldn’t walk her home earlier.  The reason Carly had been mugged!  Sam saw red.  She wanted to pound the geek’s face in again for what he’d done to her.  To them.

Mrs. Puckett took another swig of her beverage and then muttered, “Well, I have him to thank for letting me know my daughter has turned into a muff diver!”

“Just shut up!” Sam yelled back.

Pam looked at her in shock and stood up, crossing the room.  “What did you say to me?!”

“Carly and I have just as much of a right to be together as you and your hundreds of boyfriends!”

“That’s it!” Pam yelled.  “I’ve had it!  You either stop seeing Carly or else!”

“Or else what?!” Sam yelled back.

“Or else you don’t live here anymore!”

Sam was taken aback.  “What?!”

“You heard me!” Mrs. Puckett ranted.  “Either you say goodbye to your girlfriend forever or you’re out!  I’m not kidding!  Your ass will be out on the streets for good!”

“Mom…please.  I-I can’t do that,” Sam said more calmly now, trying to reason with her.  Fear shot through her.  Where would she go?  She didn’t have any other family to stay with and she’d just hurt Carly.  She feared the brunette wouldn’t want to see her again anyway.  But she couldn’t just give her up.  She couldn’t hurt her again by dumping her, as a girlfriend and a friend.

“Make your choice!” Pam yelled.

“I won’t give up Carly,” Sam said with finality.

“Then you can get the fuck out!” the older woman yelled.

Sam gasped in shock.  “Please, mom.”

“Right now!”

“It’s below freezing out and it’s nighttime.”

“Well, you’re lucky your girlfriend gave you such a good jacket for Christmas last year!” she sneered, not even realizing Sam wasn’t wearing her leather jacket at the moment.

“Mom, please don’t do this.”  Sam was starting to panic.

“I said, GET OUT!!” Pam yelled with vitriol in her eyes.  “GET! OUT!”

When Sam didn’t move, Pam grabbed her daughter by her hoodie and shoved her towards the door.  Sam’s shoulder hit the door with a loud bang and she groaned in pain.  “Can’t I even take my things with me?”

“No!  Get out now!” Pam yelled and then slapped Sam across the face.  “You’re the biggest mistake of my life!  I hope you and your little slut dyke will be real happy together!”

Sam suddenly swung a punch at her mother, making contact with her cheek with a loud smack.  It had been a reflex.  No one insulted Carly.  But then she regretted it instantly.  Pam was gripping her cheek in shock and then the fury began.  The older woman started punching and hitting Sam in a frenzy, fueled by her rage.  Sam blocked the blows as best as she could but several hits made contact and she eventually hit the floor.  Then her mother started kicking her with all her might, hurling insults as she went.

“I should have left you on that bus I gave birth to you on!” Pam yelled.  She was relentless with the beating.  After several minutes, she finally paused to catch her breath and then she grabbed Sam by her hair and stood her up.

Sam cried out in pain and had no choice but to let herself be hurled out the front door.  After she hit the hallway floor, Pam slammed the door shut behind her.  Sam heard the lock click and she knew that was it.  She’d never be welcome at home again.  Panting heavily, she laid there on the floor, not believing what just happened.  She slowly stood up and began walking down the hall.  She couldn’t see herself but if she could, she would have seen that she had blood coming from her nose and mouth, and bruises forming on her face.  She clutched her injured ribs and winced.  It felt like someone had taken a battering ram to them.

When she got outside the building, she spat a mouthful of blood out on the sidewalk and started walking.  She didn’t know where she was going.  She just knew she needed to leave in case her mother came back out and started her rampage again.  The freezing wind blew her hair in her face and the cold cut right to her bones.  She’d been kicked out of her home with nothing but the clothes on her back.  No money and no place to go.  She thought about going back to Carly’s but she couldn’t bring herself to go back.

She felt like she wasn’t welcome there either.  Not after the things Freddie had said.  Not after accidentally hurting Carly.  Pulling her phone out of her jeans pocket, she saw that it was still early in the evening, but it was completely dark out.  It was just past dinner time and her stomach growled loudly.  She hadn’t eaten since lunch and there was no promise of a meal any time soon.  She slipped her cell back into jeans and then shoved her freezing fists into her pockets after pulling the hood up on her hoodie.  Luckily, she’d had the foresight to wear it under her leather jacket since she knew they would be out ice skating today.  But she kicked herself for leaving her jacket, along with her gloves in the pockets, at Carly’s.

As she walked, she felt liquid around her nostrils and she rubbed at it, thinking her nose was running but when she pulled her hand away, she saw bright red blood smeared across her fingers.  She stuffed her hand back into her pocket and trudged on.  The wind picked up and the sleet that had been stinging her face soon turned into a wintery mix with large snowflakes blowing with the wind.  Sam felt the lowest she’d ever felt as her feet started to subconsciously take her somewhere that felt familiar.

Carly sniffled as she sat at the kitchen table with a bowl of beef stew in front of her.  It was Spencer’s homemade stew and one of her favorite dishes but she didn’t have an appetite.  She was too upset to eat.  She sighed as she took a bite, trying to appease Spencer.  But her stomach was too nervous.  She couldn’t eat.

“Spencer, can I please be excused?” she asked politely around a sniffle.

“Not hungry?” he asked in concern as he swallowed his last bite.

“Sorry, it’s delicious but I’m too wound up to eat right now,” she replied.

“I understand,” Spencer said with sympathy.  He picked up her bowl to wrap it up and store it in the fridge.  He would save it for her for later.  He also began to put the leftovers away.  He’d made plenty of extras, thinking Sam would come over to eat it at some point.

“Thanks,” Carly said and then went into the living room to call Sam.  She plopped down on the couch as she dialed Sam’s number.

Sam gritted her teeth against the freezing wind as she walked.  I swear it’s dropped ten degrees since leaving my apartment, she thought as she shivered.  She heard her phone ringing and then pulled it out of her pocket to answer it.  Seeing that it was Carly, she sighed.  She dreaded this call but she’d made a decision in the last few minutes and knew that this conversation was inevitable.  “Hello?” Sam answered the call in a dull voice.

“Sam, it’s me,” Carly greeted.  There was a short pause and then she went on, “How are you?  Are you okay?”

The blonde sighed and then replied, “Not really.”

“I’m sorry about the horrible things Freddie said,” Carly said around a sniffle.  “I’ve never seen him that angry before.  But what he said…none of it’s true.  I hope you know that.”

“You know…” Sam sighed again in resignation, “it’s probably one of the first times I’ve ever agreed with the nub.”

“Sam, don’t say that,” Carly said in sadness.  “He’s wrong.  You make my life better, not worse.  You’re not bad for me.  It’s just the opposite.  My life would be so much worse without you in it.”  Carly could hear the wind blowing over the line and realized Sam wasn’t at home.  “Where are you?” she asked.

“My mom kicked me out,” Sam croaked out, her voice sounding scratchy.

“What?!” Carly asked in shock.  “Why?!”

“Well, she was still pissed at me for slapping her earlier and then she told me about Ms. Briggs calling and giving her the quote to have her car fixed.  I’m the biggest fuck up there is.  She even said so.  We won’t be able to afford the rent this month and Melanie can no longer come home for the holidays.”

“Oh, Sam.  I’m sorry,” Carly mumbled in sympathy, “but you’re not a fuck up.  I know why you did what you did.”  She didn’t blame Sam for pulling the prank on the horrible teacher.  Ms. Briggs had been asking for it.  But she hated that Sam had gotten caught.

“Then my mom gave me an ultimatum,” Sam went on.  “Either I stop seeing you forever or I’m no longer welcome at home.”  Carly gasped in surprise.  She couldn’t believe how horrible Mrs. Puckett was being.  “Then she threw me out, but not before giving me the beating of a lifetime.”

“Oh my god!” Carly cried, tears slipping down her face.  “A-Are you okay?”

“No,” Sam simply said, her voice cracking from her sadness.

“Where are you?  Spencer and I can come pick you up,” Carly said, her voice shaking a bit.

“Carly,” Sam said gravely, her voice not sounding right to the brunette.  Something about it made Carly’s stomach churn.  “I’m not good for you.  Freddie was right about that.”

“What?  What are you saying?” Carly asked in fear.

“I hurt everyone I touch,” Sam went on.  “I hurt you.  You got hurt because of me.”

“Sam, what happened tonight wasn’t your fault.  Not the mugging or me getting hit during the fight.  That was Freddie’s fault.”

You’re bad for her! Freddie’s voice boomed in Sam’s head.  She doesn’t even know you’re bad for her!

“I hurt you.  Freddie.  Even my mom,” Sam said without acknowledging what her girlfriend was saying.  Her voice was low and sad sounding.

“Sam, you got hurt too.  By Freddie and your mom.  And I have a pretty good feeling that Freddie started that fight.  You’re not to blame for any of this.  Are you hearing me?”

“She said she should have left me on that bus.  The one she gave birth to me on.  She said I was the biggest mistake of her life.”

“Your mom has no right to complain about anyone, especially you.  And she’s so wrong!”

“You’d all be better off if I wasn’t in your lives.  You, Freddie, Spencer, my mom.  Even Melanie would be better off.”

“No, we wouldn’t, Sam,” Carly sobbed out, her tears streaming in waves now.  “I love you…so much!  Please, just come home!  We can talk about this when you get here.  Please just come back to me.”  Her voice had cracked and then gone to a whisper as she went on.

“You’d all be better off if I’d never been born,” Sam said in a monotone, repeating Freddie’s words.

“Freddie is an ass for saying that!  He didn’t mean it!  And if he did, I’m never speaking to him again.  Please just come home!”  Carly was panicking at what Sam might do.  The tone in the blonde’s voice was terrifying her.

Sam finally stopped walking as she realized she’d made it to her destination.  She stepped off the curb to cross the street and when she did, a car slammed on its breaks to avoid hitting her and the horn blared.  Carly heard tires screeching on the other end of the line and the car horn.  Then a man’s voice yelling, “Get off the bridge, you moron!”  Then more tires screeching.

“Sam, where are you?” Carly asked in worry.  She knew Sam had nowhere else to go and that she was out on the streets of Seattle at night in the freezing cold.

“Carly, I want you to know…that I love you,” Sam said, ignoring Carly’s question.  “I’ve always loved you.”

“I love you too, Sam.  Whatever you’re thinking about doing, please don’t do it,” Carly’s voice shook.

“I-I don’t have…anything anymore,” Sam said, her voice cracking.  “No home, no family.  No you.”

“You still have me, Sam.  Please…please, just come home.”

“I don’t belong anywhere.”

“Yes, you do.  You belong with me.”

Sam sighed as she gripped the metal railing of the bridge and looked down at the wavy water.  The wind had picked up, causing the icy water of the lake to be rough and choppy.

“Carly…you’ve been the one constant, good thing in my life.  The best part of my life.  I don’t deserve you.  You deserve way better than a fuck up like me.  And I want you to know that I’m grateful to you.  For everything you’ve done for me.  I never would have made it this far without you.”

“Please…” Carly whispered.  She didn’t know what else to say to make Sam see that Freddie had been so wrong.

“Just take care of yourself, okay?” Sam’s voice was calmer now.  Almost as if they were talking about the weather.

“Sam, you can’t do this!  Listen to me!  We’ll work this out!” Carly frantically pleaded with tears stinging her eyes.

“Just forget I ever existed,” Sam added on in a desperate whisper.

Carly gasped in shock, “Sam!”

“I love you, Cupcake.”

“Sam!”

“Goodbye.”

Sam hung up the phone and slipped it back into her pocket.  Then she started climbing the railing of the bridge.

“You hit a girl?!” Mrs. Benson shrieked at her son, her voice shaking the vases around the apartment.  “Fredward Benson!  I taught you better than that!  That is absolutely shameful behavior!”  He’d just explained why his face was all bruised and bloody to his mom.

“She got me so mad and I can’t believe Carly would choose Sam over me!”  Freddie yelled back.

“I don’t care how mad you get!  You never hit a girl!  Not even Sam Puckett!” Marissa retorted angrily.  Luckily, she didn’t realize Freddie had meant that Carly had chosen Sam as a girlfriend.  “You march right over there and apologize this instant!  Once you’re back you are scrubbing every square inch of the bathrooms and kitchen and you’re grounded for a month!  We can talk about you attending bible study later, and I can only hope that the scripture will guide you!  Violence is never the answer!  Now, go!”

Freddie’s mouth was hanging open in shock at all the punishments his mother was dishing out.  “Sam’s not even there anymore,” he finally countered.

“Then you apologize to Carly and Spencer for your atrocious behavior!” Marissa replied.  “And you can say you’re sorry to Sam later!”  Freddie had never seen his mother this angry before.  When he didn’t move, she yelled, “Now, young man!”

Freddie slumped his shoulders and left his apartment.  Just as he shut his front door, he met Carly and Spencer in the hallway as they were exiting their own loft in a hurry.  Spencer turned to lock the door.  The tech producer knew something was wrong the second he saw Carly’s red, puffy eyes.  They were filled with fear.

Freddie cleared his throat, “I was just coming over to apologi-”

“You’re coming with us!” Carly cut in as she roughly grabbed the back of his jacket collar and started dragging him along with them as they started down the hall toward the elevator.

“What’s going on?” Freddie asked in confusion.

Sam gazed down at the freezing, choppy lake as she clung to the lamp post that ran up beside her.  She had climbed up on the railing of the bridge and was trying to keep her balance in the heavy wind.  The water was far below her.  The fall alone could finish her, and the freezing water would definitely make it difficult to survive on top of that.  And the lake was so rough, even the best swimmer would find it difficult to stay afloat.  This bridge was significant to her and Carly.  They’d passed over it while on a field trip back in the spring.  They were seated in the back of the bus and kissed the entire time as they rode across the lake.

As Sam clung to the light post, her eye caught site of the bracelet on her wrist, the one Carly made her for Christmas last year.  The words, Carly and Sam Forever, sewn into it made her heart ache.  Flashes of her life went through her mind.  She saw the day she had become friends with Carly.  Meeting Freddie and instantly loathing him.  Spencer treating her like he was her own brother.  Her sister Melanie going off to boarding school.  Her mother beating her time and time again.

Then she thought about last Christmas when she and Carly finally got together as more than friends.  It had been the best Christmas ever, spending it with the Shays.  She thought back to the past year with Carly and all the intimate moments with her.  She didn’t want to hurt Carly by leaving her, but felt that she would be better off.  And, in time, she thought Carly would get over her.

You’re bad for her! Freddie’s voice echoed in her head again.  We’d all be better off if you’d never been born!

You’re the biggest mistake of my life! her mom’s voice boomed in her mind.  She’d said other equally horrible things to her throughout her life.  I wish I’d only had one daughter!  You’ve been nothing but a hassle for me!  My life was perfect before you came into it!  I should have killed you in my womb!

Sam squeezed her eyes shut as tears slipped down her cheeks, feeling like she had never been loved, wanted, or needed in her entire life.  I hate you, Sam Puckett! Freddie’s voice boomed again.  You ruin everything!  Things would be perfect if you’d never come into Carly’s life!  She just pities you!  You’re nothing but an accident!  A waste of space!  Even your own mother despises you!

She knew she couldn’t continue with her life the way it was.  She felt like she was never meant for this world.  Then Carly’s beautiful face flashed through her mind.  “Carly…” Sam whispered into the wind, “I love you…I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry!”

She leaned over the railing, still gripping the light pole in one hand, and thought about what the best way to land would be.  She wouldn’t jump.  She wouldn’t fall.  She would just let go.  She took a deep breath and whispered, “I wish I’d never been born.”

She closed her eyes, ready to step off the ledge.  But just before she could let go, she heard someone scream.  It was a girl’s voice.  Sam opened her eyes to see someone else falling into the lake, the girl hollering the entire way down, and then there was a loud splash as she went under the water.  Sam’s eyes went wide.  “Holy shit!” she exclaimed.

The girl’s head broke the surface of the water several seconds later and she hollered out, “Help!”  The rough water swirled all around her, splashing in her face and she choked on it.

Thinking of nothing but rescuing this girl, Sam jumped off the bridge into the water, aiming to land right next to the frightened girl.  She went into the water feet first, her body screaming at her from the sudden freezing cold.  It felt like she was being stabbed all over and her body tensed up involuntarily, unable to move.  It seemed like she had been sinking for forever until her body finally slowed to a stop and was suspended in place.  Her body had seized up at the freezing cold but her adrenaline soon kicked in.  She started kicking her feet, swimming quickly for the surface.  Her lungs were already burning and she had several feet to go still.  She finally burst through the surface, taking a deep breath of sweet air and feeling relieved to still be alive.  The splashing, cold water quickly washed off the cupcake painting on her cheek.

Sam looked every which way for the girl that had fallen in but couldn’t see her anywhere.  Sam dove back under the water and searched for the girl, her eyes scanning the dark shadows.  After several long seconds, she went back up for air and looked all around her, but still didn’t see or hear anyone else in the water.  She was shivering uncontrollably and her teeth were chattering but she ignored the freezing cold.  She dunked back under the surface and even swam several feet down to try to get better visibility but it was too dark.  She went back up to the surface and took more gulpfuls of air, looking all around for the girl.  The water splashed in her mouth and she coughed a few times, trying to stay afloat.  Sam started to panic when she realized the girl was nowhere in sight and then hollered out, “HELLO?!!!”

“HELP!” she heard the girl scream.  The sound came from her right so she went in that direction.  Swimming faster than she’d ever had before, she finally reached the girl just as her head sunk back under the water, her arms thrashing about.  Sam grabbed onto her shoulder and pulled her back up, the girl coughing and sucking in air as she resurfaced.

“I got you!” Sam cried out.  “It’s okay!”  The frightened girl clung to Sam and the two of them started swimming for the shore together, trying to stay afloat.

Five Minutes Earlier

“You think Sam would really…k-kill herself?” Freddie asked in fear.  Carly had just relayed to him and Spencer the phone conversation she’d had with Sam.  She shuttered at Freddie’s words.

“She doesn’t feel like she has anything left to live for,” Carly mumbled in sadness.  The three of them were in Spencer’s car in search of Sam with Carly in the front passenger seat and Freddie in the back.

“I-I didn’t know her mother beats her,” Freddie sounded like a frightened little kid.

“There’s a lot about Sam you don’t know!” Carly snapped in an accusing tone.  She blamed Freddie for their current predicament.  And she also blamed Mrs. Puckett.

Freddie felt bad.  He wanted Sam to go away and be out of his life so he could be with Carly.  But he didn’t want anything seriously bad to happen to her.  He always thought of Sam as this tough, unbreakable person who didn’t let anything bother her.  But he realized how wrong he’d been.  And he also realized that he didn’t know Sam as well as he’d thought.  He knew nothing of her homelife and how hard she’d had it her whole life.

“Are you sure she’ll be at Aurora Bridge?” Spencer asked as he turned his car onto Aurora Ave. North.

“Yes, I heard a man yell over the other end of the line, telling her to get off the bridge,” Carly answered.

“But how do you know it’s that bridge specifically?” Spencer asked in confusion.  “There are dozens of bridges in Seattle.”

“Aurora Bridge goes over a small stretch of Lake Union,” Carly explained, her voice becoming nostalgic as she told the story.  “We went over it on our way to Woodland Park Zoo and Rose Gardens for our class field trip last spring.  We were sitting in the back of the bus.  Sam took my hand and said, ‘Look, Cupcake!  We’re about to reach the bridge that goes over Lake Union!’  I asked her what the significance of that was.  And why she seemed so excited about it.  She said, ‘It’s good luck to kiss as you go over Lake Union.  It’ll mean our union will last forever.’  She seemed so excited about the idea and she looked so cute with that smile of hers that I love so much.  She kissed me the whole way as we rode across the lake.  By the time we made it to the other side, my head was spinning.  I knew I wanted to be with Sam forever.”  Carly smiled fondly, thinking back to that day.

In the back seat, Freddie let he shoulders sag, and his head bowed.  He felt like the biggest jerk on the planet.  He’d seen them kissing on the back of the bus that day.  At the time, he had been supremely jealous.  Carly and Sam had spent the entire day walking through the zoo and gardens holding hands, smiling and laughing like they were the happiest couple on earth.  He had been too caught up in his petty jealousy to see how happy they both were.  He didn’t realize how good Sam was for Carly and vice versa.  And he didn’t know how sweet and romantic Sam was with Carly.  He had spent the day moping around at the fact that he wasn’t the one who got to hold Carly’s hand and kiss her and make her smile.  Now, however, he felt like a heel.  Guilt seeped into his bones at how he had treated Sam earlier.  And how he had treated her, her whole life.

“Carly…I gotta tell you something,” the tech producer said with guilt all over his face.  “All of this is my fault.”

“I figured you started that fight earlier,” Carly mumbled.

“It’s not just that,” Freddie admitted, “yes, I threw the first punch and started the fight.  But that’s not everything.”  He took a deep breath, “Well, first of all…I’m the one who told on Sam and got her in trouble for messing up Ms. Briggs’ car last week.”  Carly turned in her seat to look at him in the back.

“That was you?” she asked surprised with a hint of irritation.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?  Why didn’t Sam?” Carly asked in surprise.

“Sam’s a better person than I am,” Freddie answered in a dull voice.  “She probably didn’t want you to hate me like she does.  And I didn’t tell you because, I knew you would.”

“You know Sam only did that because Ms. Briggs called us ‘disgusting lesbos,’ right?”

Spencer’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.  Freddie looked just as shocked.  “No, I didn’t know,” the tech producer replied guiltily.  “I was just so angry that the two of you had gotten back together after your fight,” he went on.  “After you two almost died out on the window washers’ platform, you and Sam made up.  I didn’t see that happening.  I mean, I figured you might go back to being just friends.  But I didn’t think you’d go back to…you know, ‘Carly and Sam’ so fast.  You two were closer than ever after that night.  And I guess I was jealous and angry.  So, when I saw her defacing Ms. Briggs’ car, I just thought I’d get back at her.”

“Get back at her for what?” Carly asked angrily.  “For being my girlfriend?  For loving me?!”

“Y-yeah,” Freddie replied sadly, finally realizing how petty he had been.

“I can’t believe this,” Carly said hotly, turning back in her seat to face forward.  “I can’t believe you!  You act like you have some kind of creepy claim over me.  But I’ve never liked you that way.

“Well, then you’re really not gonna like me after I tell you this,” Freddie sighed.

“Tell me what?” Carly asked slowly, not sure if she wanted to know or not.

He squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment and said, “I’m the one who called Mrs. Puckett tonight and told her about you and Sam and where to find you two.”

“YOU WHAT?!!!” Carly shrieked at the top of her lungs, rounding on him in the back seat.  “You ratted us out?!”  Freddie just looked at her in fear, his eyes wide.  “If we weren’t in the car right now, I’d strangle you!” Carly screamed.  “How could you betray us like that?!  You’re supposed to be our friend!  This is all your fault!  Sam wouldn’t be ready to end her life if it weren’t for you!  Her mother beating her was the last straw!  But you!  If you hadn’t called Mrs. Puckett, Sam wouldn’t have been forced to leave me at the park tonight!  She wouldn’t have been beaten at all!  And I wouldn’t have been mugged!”  Spencer nearly choked on his own saliva at this realization, but was able to keep control of the car at least.

“I’m so sorry, Carly,” Freddie apologized with remorse.  “It’s my fault you were mugged!  I’m so sorry!”

“‘Sorry’ isn’t going to make this all better!” Carly yelled at him.  “You said some horrible things to her tonight!  I’m not the only one you should be apologizing to!  You know, Sam was ready to find a new tech producer after the way you treated us when you found out that we were…together-together.  But I tried to talk her out of it, saying that you’ve been our friend for so long and we should give you a second chance.  But now, I’m willing to say goodbye to you forever, Freddie!  How could you do that?!  Her mother beat her and kicked her out of the house after she found out we were girlfriends!  She gave Sam an ultimatum.  Either she stops seeing me or Sam wasn’t welcome at home anymore.  But Sam refused to stop seeing me.  So, now she’s out on the streets of Seattle because of you!”

“I know.  I’m so sorry,” he repeated, his voice cracking in sadness.  “I wish I could take it all back.  But I can’t.  And now, Sam might…”

The car was silent as he trailed off.  Carly turned back around in her seat to face the front.  She was fuming and extremely worried they wouldn’t get there in time.  A couple minutes later, they finally made it to Aurora Bridge.  There, in the center, was Sam standing up on the railing.

“There she is!!” Carly yelled in panic.  Spencer stopped the car, the tires screeching to a halt.  All three of them got out of the car and ran towards the blonde.  “Sam!!!” Carly yelled out to her love.  But she didn’t seem to hear them in the howling wind.  They were only a few feet away from her when Sam jumped off the bridge feet first.  “Sam!!!” Carly shrieked in terror.

They got to the railing just in time to see her land in the raging waters.  “Saaaam!!!” Carly cried out, sobbing profusely with tears streaming down her face.  They waited a few moments but when they didn’t see Sam return to the surface of the lake, Carly started to climb over the side of the railing, swinging her leg over the metal beam.

“Carly, no!!” Spencer and Freddie both yelled in unison.  They each grabbed ahold of her to keep her from going over after Sam.

“I have to save her!” Carly shrieked.  “Let go of me!”

“Carly, no!  It’s suicide!” Freddie yelled, trying to reason with her.  Spencer was finally able to stop her, pulling her leg back over the railing.

Carly crumbled to her knees, sobbing out loud, gripping the railing in both hands.  Spencer pulled out his phone to call 911 and walked a few steps away so he could hear the dispatcher.  Freddie stared into the rough, choppy water, hoping and praying that they would see Sam come back up but they didn’t.  They would never see her resurface.  Tears started slipping down his face at the realization that Sam was dead.  His friend was dead.  And yes, in that moment, he finally realized that Sam was his friend.

“What have I done?” he mumbled quietly.  “Oh, God, what have I done?!” he yelled.  His voice had risen to a painful shriek.  He finally let himself sob, not caring what he looked like.  He was overcome with grief and remorse, knowing that Sam was gone because of him.

Carly was a mess, sobbing uncontrollably.  Spencer finally got off the phone with the 911 operator and went over to try to comfort his little sister.  He knelt down on the pavement next to her and she collapsed in his arms.  He didn’t bother trying to hold back his own tears.  Freddie sunk down to the curb next to them.  He wanted to hug them too but felt that Carly would shake off his attempts to comfort her.  He knew she would probably never speak to him again.  And the sound of her crying was shattering his heart.  Losing Sam would destroy her.  He had destroyed her.  He had destroyed them all.

As Sam swam with the girl she had just rescued, she noticed that the shore seemed to get further and further away.  The water around her began to swirl in a whirlpool, sucking the two of them down.

“Whoa!!” Sam yelled out as they began to swirl around in circles, unable to swim against the current.  The other girl was hanging onto Sam’s back.

They were quickly overcome by the water and pulled down into the vortex.  The two were separated as they swirled around and around several feet under the surface.  Sam was quickly running out of air as she tried to reach for the girl.  But seconds later, the water suddenly shot up with extreme force like a geyser, shooting the two of them out of the water and up into the air.  Sam noted that her body felt weightless as they came to a stop.  What the hell is going on?! Sam thought as she realized she was floating in the sky.  She looked all around her and realized she was hovering several yards up in the air above the lake she had just been drowning in seconds before.

“Don’t be scared, Sam,” the girl said to her.  Sam looked over to her, not believing what was happening.  How did this girl know her name?  The girl smiled and then laughed.  “I got you now,” she explained.  “Thanks for rescuing me, by the way.  That was a really brave and nice thing to do for a total stranger.  Selfless and noble.  I figured I’d return the favor.”

“What in the world is going on?” Sam exclaimed.  “How are we floating in mid-air?  We were just about to drown!  Did we die?”

The girl giggled again and said, “No, we are very much alive.”

“Who are you?” Sam asked incredulously.  “And how do you know my name?”  She finally took in the girl’s appearance.  She was very pretty and seemed to be about Sam’s age with wavy, light brown hair that came down past her shoulders.  She was wearing a red coat over a bright yellow shirt, blue jeans and blue Converse shoes.  And Sam realized for the first time since leaving the lake, that they were completely dry now.  Their clothes should be soaking wet and they should be freezing.  But she hardly felt the cold at all.

“My name is Cameron.  But you can call me Cam,” the girl said, still smiling at her.  Sam noted the girl’s green eyes seemed kind and genuine and, although she appeared to be a teenager, she seemed innocent and almost childlike.

Cam? Sam thought.  Just like when you put ‘Carly’ and ‘Sam’ together.  Okay, I’ve completely lost my mind!

Sam looked all around her.  The bridge was off to their left.  The snow was coming down pretty hard now but she could still see.  Her eyes caught sight of Carly, Spencer and Freddie on the bridge.  Her girlfriend was crying so hard and clinging to Spencer.

“Carly!” Sam hollered out.  She waved her arms around, trying to get them to notice her.  But the three of them were still staring down at the raging waters.  “Carly!”

“She can’t hear you,” Cam said.  Sam turned back to her.

“Who are you and what the hell is going on?” Sam yelled.  “Why can’t they see or hear us?  Why is Carly crying?”

“She saw you jump in the lake,” the girl replied.  “They think you’re dead.  Carly tried to go in after you to save you.  But Spencer and Freddie stopped her.”

Sam felt a pang in her heart.  “Didn’t they see me come back up?” Sam wondered.

Cam shook her head, “No, once you landed in the water, you were in my reality.  They never saw you resurface.  They don’t know that you’re still alive.”

“Okay…either I’ve gone completely insane or I’m dead.  Or hallucinating,” Sam replied.

Cam laughed again, “You’re none of those things.  I’m your Christmas angel.”

Sam stared at her for a few seconds, not believing what she was hearing.  “You mean, like Mitch?  Carly’s Christmas angel from last year?” Sam asked.

“Mitch already earned his wings,” Cam explained.  “I’m here to earn mine.  The second you made that wish, I showed up to grant it.”

“What wish?” Sam asked.

“You wished that you had never been born, just before you were about to let go and end your life.  I had to intercede of course.”

Sam shut her eyes tight and shook her head.  When she reopened her eyes, she saw that Cam was still in front of her and they were still floating in mid-air.

“I’m still here,” Cam replied with a grin.  “And this isn’t a dream either.”

“How is this real?” Sam asked in disbelief.

“You said you believed Carly when she had her Christmas angel last year.  So why do you find it so hard to believe this?”

“I just…never thought I would get an angel,” Sam replied.

“What makes you think you’re not deserving of an angel to help you?” Cam asked.  “Sam, the second you saw me fall into the water, your despair went away.  You jumped in to save me, a complete stranger, with no thought to your own safety.  You didn’t even think twice about it.  You just acted to save someone else.  You don’t seem to realize your own virtues.”

“So, what happens now?” Sam asked.

“That’s up to you.”

“What?” Sam asked, not understanding.

“If I hadn’t intervened, you would be dead right now.  You wouldn’t have landed feet first in the lake like you did when you were trying to save me.  You would have broken your neck.  For all intents and purposes, you are dead.  You can choose to still be dead, as if I had never interfered.  Or…you can choose to never have been born, as you wished.”

Sam just remained silent as she took all this in.  She couldn’t believe she’d screwed things up this bad.  “But you just said, they don’t know I’m still alive.  Am I alive or dead?” Sam asked in confusion.

“You are still alive because you are in my reality right now because you chose to save me, but your loved ones think you’re dead.  You’re sort of suspended in…an in-between place.  Because you still have a choice to make.”

“So, can’t I choose to go back?  To my old life?” Sam asked.

“Mmm, that remains to be seen,” Cam finally answered.  “I’m not a miracle worker.  And…you don’t seem to really want to go back anyway.  You were about to kill yourself, after all.  We have to see how this all plays out.”  She paused and the two of them just stared at each other.  “But…don’t decide yet,” Cam continued.  “I’m here to show you a few things.”

“Show me what?” Sam asked.

“I’m here to grant your wish.  That you’d never been born.  You’ll get to see how all your loved ones’ lives would be different if Sam Puckett had never existed.”  Sam raised her eyebrows in surprise.  “And then I’ll tell you what happens to them if you decide to stay dead, after jumping from the bridge.”

“But…” Sam trailed off.

“There’s a difference between dying and never being born,” Cam explained.  “You are so convinced that Carly and everyone else would be better off without you.  I’ll show you their lives for both scenarios.  Your non-birth and your death.”

Sam winced.  She wasn’t sure she would like this.  She had a feeling that everyone’s lives would be so much better if she’d never met any of them.  And she was also scared to find out what Carly would do after her death.  Would she be completely fine and happy over time?  Or would it be so much worse?  She didn’t think either answer would make her happy.

Sam sighed, “I guess I have no choice in the matter.  So, let’s get started.”

Cam nodded and then they disappeared.

Back on the bridge, Carly was still sobbing profusely.  Emergency services showed up a few minutes later.  Spencer had to explain what happened since Carly couldn’t form words.  They soon moved their operation down to the shoreline where they had more room to work and wouldn’t disrupt the flow of traffic on the bridge.

Carly stared out at the boats on the water in a daze.  They were sending down divers to look for Sam but she knew if Sam hadn’t come up by now, it was a lost cause.  There were also searchers looking on shore, in case she floated to land or swam out on her own volition.  So far, there hadn’t been any signs that anyone had come out of the water.  No footprints in the sand.  No clothes.  No body.  Carly felt like she was in shock.  She knew she should be doing something.  Helping in the search.  Crying.  Talking to the search and rescue crew.  Anything other than just numbly standing there with a blanket wrapped around her, looking as if she hadn’t slept in days; her eyes red and puffy.  But she was out of tears by this point.  She had no energy left.  Spencer was talking to the officer in charge of operations.  And Freddie was sitting on a nearby bench looking just as dazed.

Carly didn’t know what she would do now without Sam.

Sam and Cam were flying through the night sky, the cold wind blowing their hair.  “You mind if we put some ground beneath us?” Sam hollered out.  “I can’t take much more of this.”

“Sure,” Cam replied, “we’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Sam asked.

“I’m taking you back,” was all Cameron said.

Soon their feet touched down on solid ground and Sam realized it was day.  The sun was out and bright.  The sky was blue.  And they seemed to be on a playground with kids running around them.

“Where are we?” Sam asked.

“More like, when are we?” Cam replied.  Sam looked over to her with a confused look.  “March 25^th, 2003,” Cam added.

“That’s the day I met Carly!” Sam exclaimed excitedly, remembering the tuna fish sandwich incident; their origin story.

Cam smiled fondly at her at remembering the exact date.  Most people don’t remember the day they meet their friends.  But these two had been celebrating their friendship anniversary every year since then.

“Correction,” Cam replied.  “It’s the day Carly met Jocelyn.”

“What are you talking about?” Sam asked.  “Jocelyn didn’t bother us until this past spring.”  Sam frowned, remembering the tall, athletic bully that had harassed them during that brief time when Carly had been trying to make Sam girlier. The blonde had only tried to be girlier for Carly, so that she would like her more.  But when Carly found that out, she told Sam that she loved her just as she was, tomboy and all.  Sam went back to her normal clothes and hair style after that.

But before she did, they’d had one more run-in with Joceyln.  The mean girl had pushed Carly down in the Groovy Smoothie and made Sam’s blood boil.  All it took was Carly telling Sam to “Rip her head off!” and Sam complied, putting Jocelyn and her cohorts in their place.  The bully backed off for good after that.  Sam had wondered why Jocelyn hadn’t bothered them before then.  Maybe it was because Carly had me dressed in girly cloths and acting all polite and proper.  Jocelyn probably thought I’d gone soft, Sam thought.  That’s why she thought she could push Carly and me around.  Everyone in the whole school knew that you didn’t mess with Carly unless you wanted to face Sam’s wrath.

“You were the alpha of the school, even back then, when you first met Carly,” Cam explained.  “Nobody messed with you, not even Jocelyn.  When you befriended Carly on that day, Jocelyn knew that she couldn’t bully her because you had been protecting Carly ever since that day.  But you wished that you had never been born.  So, everything has changed.  Starting with that day.  The day Carly never met you.”

Sam finally saw her, the small, pretty brunette sitting alone at a picnic table, eating her lunch.  “Carly!” Sam said happily, excited to see her again.

“Remember, Sam, Carly can’t see or-”

“Or hear me.  I know, I know,” Sam cut in.  “I’ve seen movies.”  She watched the eight-year-old Carly bite into her tuna sandwich and then she looked all around as if she were expecting someone.  Or trying to see if she could make friends with someone.  “There’s no way Carly befriends Jocelyn,” Sam muttered.

“Just watch what happens,” Cam said.

Carly took another bite of her sandwich and then the sun was blocked out as a tall shadow loomed over her.  Carly looked up to see a very large girl, who was three years older than she was, standing there grinning at her.  Carly froze as the girl snatched the sandwich away from her and then took a bite of it.

“Hey, that’s my sandwich!” Carly yelled angrily.

“Oh yeah!” Jocelyn said with her mouth full.  Then she shoved Carly off the bench.  Carly yelped as she hit the ground roughly.  “It’s mine now!”  Then the older girl laughed as she took another bite.  Sam took a step towards the bully, but Cam grabbed her arm.

“You can’t do anything,” Cam reminded her.  “This is all in the past.  This is just a memory.  An alternate memory.  It’s already happened.”  Sam just gritted her teeth, glaring at Jocelyn.  She wanted to rip her head off now.

“This is not how it’s supposed to happen,” Sam whispered sadly.

Carly stood back up and tried to grab her sandwich back, but the tall girl just held it high over her head, out of Carly’s reach.  Carly tried to push Jocelyn but it was like trying to move a boulder.  The mean girl scowled angrily at her and pushed Carly down easily with one hand and laughed.  “You’ll stay down, if you know what’s good for ya!” Jocelyn taunted.  Carly glared up at her and stood back up, brushing her clothes off.  But this just angered the bully even more.  Jocelyn punched Carly right in the eye, sending her falling back to the ground with a thud.  Tears stung her eyes as she clutched her face in pain.  “Have you had enough?” Jocelyn asked in a cruel voice.

Carly didn’t say anything.  She just laid there, gripping her injured eye.  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you!” Jocelyn added.  “I guess that means you want more!”  Then she kicked Carly hard in the stomach.  She cried out in pain and rolled onto her side hugging her injured ribs.  “I said, have you had enough?  Are you going to stay down?” the bully asked with a smirk.

“Yes,” Carly groaned out.  By now, Sam had tears streaming down her cheeks.  She felt helpless, not being able to protect Carly.

The bell rang and all the kids ran for the building.  But Carly just stayed on the ground and sobbed.

“Cupcake,” Sam whispered in agony.

“You might not remember it,” Cam explained, “but originally, you put Jocelyn in her place.  Just before you met Carly on the playground that fateful day, Jocelyn tried to shake you down for money but you punched her right in the face, showing her who’s boss even though you were smaller and younger than she was.  She never bothered you or your friends again after that, until the week you were trying to be girlier for Carly.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Sam recalled.

“But in this reality, you don’t exist.  You weren’t there to befriend and protect Carly from Joceyln,” Cam said.  “Her life went in a completely different direction from then.

Suddenly Carly and the playground melted away and everything went pitch black and Sam felt like she was floating again.  “Now, what’s happening?” she asked.

“I’m taking you a little further into the future,” Cam explained.  “Five years, to be exact.”

Suddenly, they were standing in the middle of Carly’s bedroom.  But it looked different from how Sam remembered.  Instead of all the bright colors, everything looked drab and dull.  Carly’s bedspread was a boring shade of dark purple that may as well have been gray.  There were no posters on the walls.  The only other furniture in the room other than the bed, was her desk and chest of drawers.

“What happened here?” Sam asked with a frown.

“Not meeting you, changed Carly’s whole life,” Cam reminded her.  “You were Carly’s support.  Her shoulder to cry on.  Her stress relief.  Her everything.  You kept her laughing.  Kept her smiling.  And you protected her without even knowing it.  Without you, Jocelyn became the alpha bully of the school and her main target was Carly.”  Sam looked over at her in surprise and shook her head as if she didn’t want to believe it.  “Carly became withdrawn and depressed as the years of abuse went on,” Cam continued.  “She had no friends.  She never became popular.  The only one who ever hung out with her was Freddie and that was only because he lived across the hall.  But because Carly was basically a shell of her former self, Freddie never developed any romantic feelings for her.  So, he didn’t hang around her that much.  Their friendship never developed as more than just neighbors and classmates.”

“Freddie is such a dick!” Sam muttered.  “I can’t believe he only had feelings for her because of me.”

“She lacked confidence and didn’t take any pride in her physical appearance,” Cam revealed.  “But also, she just isn’t the same Carly.  Her spark is gone.  Her personality is very different.  She’s also shyer and quieter because you weren’t there to bring Carly out of her shell.”

“This can’t be true,” Sam said in disbelief.  Just then a 13-year-old Carly walked into the room carrying her backpack.  Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she was wearing a plain white sweater, that looked to be stained with food, over gray jeans.  Her eyes had no spark.  No life in them at all.  Sam’s eyebrows rose to her bangs.  “Cupcake?” she asked in shock.  She couldn’t believe how unkempt and sad she looked.

Carly plopped her bookbag onto the bed and then fell face first onto the mattress.  The girl looked miserable.  Sam wanted to hug her and it killed her that she couldn’t.

“Jocelyn has made her life a living hell at school,” Cameron explained.  “And she has no outlet.  No you.  No Freddie.  No friends.  No iCarly.”  Sam looked over to Cam in surprise.  “iCarly never happened without you,” Cam clarified.  “You never photoshopped Ms. Briggs’ head onto the body of a rhinoceros and Carly didn’t take the blame for you.  So, Ms. Briggs never punished you two and made you record the talent show auditions.  Freddie never accidentally uploaded the video of you and Carly making fun of Ms. Briggs.  So, iCarly was never born.  Not to mention, half of the creative ideas for the show came from you.  If you take away half of the Carly/Sam equation, it all crumbles away.  There is no Carly without Sam.”

“This is so unreal,” Sam mumbled in shock.

“So much never happened in this reality because iCarly never came to be” Cameron went on.  “So many people that Carly never met.  So many adventures that didn’t happen.  Carly hates her life.  She just sits in her room all day when she’s not at school and either sleeps, writes in her journal, or cries.”

“What about Spencer?” Sam asked with tears brimming her eyes.

“He’s tried to help her over the years,” Cam answered.  “He tried to fill that void and be a friend to her, in addition to a brother and caretaker.  But it wasn’t enough.  When her mother died at the age of 10, she didn’t have you to comfort and console her.  Her depression just got worse and worse.  She never came out of her grief.  Last year, Spencer caught her cutting herself with a razorblade in her bathroom and he took her to see a therapist.”

Sam gasped in shock.  “No,” she whispered in sadness, staring down at the brunette.  Sam couldn’t see her arms because of the sweater she was wearing and that was probably why.  She was wearing long sleeves to cover the scars.

“They put her on antidepressants and antianxiety meds, and she went to regular counseling but nothing seemed to help,” Cam said sadly.

Carly got up off the bed and went to sit at her desk.  She pulled out her journal from her drawer and began to write.  Sam looked over her shoulder so she could read what she was recording.

Dear Journal,

I don’t know how much longer I can take this.  I’m so lonely all the time.  I have no one.  No friends.  No one I can talk to or relate to.  Spencer tries and he’s a great big brother but I just feel so alone all the time.  No one even seems to notice that I exist at school.  Except Jocelyn.  Why does she hate me so much?  She makes me so nervous and afraid all the time.  Today, she tripped me at lunch, making me fall right onto my tray of food.  It smeared all over my white sweater!  Everyone in the cafeteria laughed at me.  I was so mortified.  And I didn’t even get to eat any lunch.  I just ran out of the cafeteria, crying.  I’m such a loser!

I wish I had someone to talk to.  I just want someone to be nice to me.  Freddie is the only nice person to me.  But he has his own friends to sit with at school.  Gibby and Wendy.  I tried to sit with them once, but it was just so awkward because I didn’t know what to say.  I don’t really know any of them.  The only reason I know Freddie is because we got paired up on a class assignment last year.  He seems nice but we don’t really have anything in common.  He’s kind of geeky.

I feel like something is missing from my life.  Or like someone is missing.  I can’t explain it.  I feel like this isn’t even the real me.  Like this isn’t supposed to be my life.  Why can’t I just be normal and happy like everyone else?  Anyway, I better go for now.  I have to do my homework, even though it feels pointless.  Bye for now.

Carly closed her journal and then stared out the window.  Sam wanted to hold her so bad and take all her pain away.  She tried to put her hand on her shoulder but it just went right through her, as if Sam were a ghost.  Tears slipped down the blonde’s face.  And seconds later, it felt as if she were being pulled away.

She and Cam were being pulled through the walls and the floor and suddenly, they were standing in the Bensons’ living room.

“Why are we here?” Sam asked, sounding disgusted.  “Take me back to Carly!”

“This isn’t just about Carly, Sam,” Cameron replied.  “You changed everyone’s lives.  Don’t worry, we’ll get back to Carly.  But we have to make the rounds.”

Just then, Mrs. Benson and a very short 13-year-old Freddie entered through the front door.  Both Bensons were carrying several bags of groceries and household supplies.  Freddie looked like he was almost buried under the mountain of bags, grunting from the weight of them.

“Carry those bags into the kitchen and start putting things away,” Marissa commanded, “and then go start on your homework.  I expect straight A’s from you this semester.”  She then carried some shopping bags into her bedroom.

Freddie grunted all the way into the kitchen, where he finally dumped the bags and then started putting items away.

“So…what’s so different about Freddie’s life?” Sam asked, not making any connection.  “This is how I imagine a typical day for him.”

“Freddie and his mom just spent the whole day together, doing chores, running errands, painting clay mugs at Color Me Pot,” Cam replied.  Sam just shook her head, not understanding.  “He used to spend a lot of time at Color Me Pot with his mom before iCarly.  And even more time running errands and other activities with her,” Cam explained.  “So much so, that he started resenting his mother.  This would have been the day of your very first webcast of iCarly.  It would have taken up much of his time, being with his friends and having a creative outlet for his tech side.  But since the web show was never created, Freddie never broke free from his mother’s constraints.  He didn’t have you and Carly as friends and didn’t have a hobby he could take pride in.  No web show to work on.  No close friends to confide in.  He never got to get away from his mother.  She became overbearing.  More controlling than ever.”

“Seriously?” Sam asked with her eyebrows raised, “there’s an even worse version of Mrs. Benson?!”

“Because Freddie didn’t have a social life at all, his mother got her hooks in him even more and started taking him with her to all those Aggressive Parenting conventions.  She became even more strict with him, obsessed with turning him into an upstanding member of society.  This is just the start of it.  Eventually, it will cause him to crack and rebel.  He won’t be able to take being under her thumb much longer.”

Sam watched as a stressed-looking Freddie put groceries away.  He did look pretty exhausted and strained, she noted.  Not the typical happy nerd she remembered, who loved doing iCarly with his friends.

“We’ll come back to Freddie later,” Cam said, “but first, we need to make another stop.”

Suddenly, they were being pulled back over into the Shay apartment.  They were standing in the kitchen and Spencer was hovering over the stove, making dinner.  He had the phone up to his ear in one hand, while he stirred a pot of gravy with his other.

“Yeah, Dad,” Spencer said into the phone around a sigh.  “No, she doesn’t seem to be doing any better.”  There was a short pause and then he continued, “…she’s been going to a therapist but it doesn’t seem to be helping…no…no, I’m not going to do that!  She’s my little sister!”

There was another brief pause on his side of the conversation while his dad yelled at him on the other end of the line.  “I’m not gonna take her to a psychiatric hospital!  So just forget it!  She’ll never trust me again!”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“No, she didn’t try to commit suicide.  She was just…cutting,” Spencer replied.  “I’m just as worried as you!”  There was another pause and then Spencer went on.  “I know she needs help.  What do you think I’ve been trying to do?”

Eventually, Spencer got off the phone and then plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs.  Seconds later, his face contorted in pain as he started sobbing and he laid his head down on the table.

Cameron and Sam wandered into the living room.  Sam wiped the tears from her eyes.  She’d always thought of Spencer as a big brother.  And she’d never seen him cry before.  It wasn’t something she was comfortable seeing.  She looked all around at the apartment and noticed something was different.

“Where are all of Spencer’s sculptures?” Sam asked.  She noted that the living room looked just as drab as Carly’s bedroom, dark and uninviting.  Only one of Spencer’s sculptures was on display in the little nook near the bay windows; the Bottle Bot.

“Spencer kind of put his art career on hold while he tried to get Carly some help,” Cam explained.  “He’s made only a few of them that he’s been able to sell.  And…his heart just isn’t in it that much.  He’s too worried about Carly to think about creating art.”

This saddened Sam even further.  She couldn’t fathom Spencer not being an artist.  She remembered the short time while Spencer tried to be a dental assistant.  He was depressed and not himself.  She looked back over to the eccentric artist and realized that she had never seen him this miserable.

Sam felt a whoosh of air and realized that they were floating through time and space again.  Within seconds, they were standing in a nice house with fancy furnishings.  “Where in the world are we now?” Sam wondered out loud.

“Your mom’s house,” Cam replied.

“What?” Sam said in shock.  “This is hers?!  I knew it.  Her life is so much better without me.  But how did she manage this?!”

“Remember that rich doctor your mom was seeing a couple years ago, when you were around 13?” Cam asked.

“Steven?” Sam asked.  “The one that stopped calling my mom because I told him she got hit by a bus?”

“That’s the one,” Cam answered.  “Well, she ended up marrying him and moving into his house.”

“Wow,” Sam replied.  “She actually managed to wrangle one.  Even though I never liked that guy.  I got bad vibes off him.  That’s why I told him mom was dead, so he’d stop coming around.  What about Melanie?  Is she still at her boarding school?  I bet mom is ecstatic to only have her as a daughter.”

“Your twin sister was never born because you were never born,” Cam replied sadly and Sam gasped in shock.

“Mel…doesn’t exist?” Sam whispered in disbelief, her face crestfallen.  Cam simply shook her head.  “No,” Sam whispered in sadness.

Just then, Pam came into the living room from the kitchen, carrying a glass of wine in one hand and the bottle in the other, and then sat down on the sofa.  She looked very put together.  Her blonde hair had been grown out and was just past her shoulders, wavy and silky smooth.  She was dressed in a nice pink cashmere sweater and khaki slacks.

“Wow, she looks…really good.  But I see she still drinks,” Sam remarked.  “Just more like a rich person would.”

Pam quickly downed the entire glass of wine and then refilled it, setting the bottle on the coffee table.

“Wow, she really drinks!” Sam amended.

Pam took a sip of her second glass and then nervously checked her watch.  It was a nice, gold watch that had been a gift from Steven.  Sam observed as her mother took a deep breath and then leaned into the couch.  She closed her eyes briefly as if she was trying to relax and then opened them.  Sam could smell the aroma of pasta and realized that Pam was actually cooking dinner.  In all the years of living with her mother, she never remembered her mom cooking.  Heating things up in the microwave, sure.  But never actually cooking a meal.

Suddenly the front door blew open as Steven walked in and set his briefcase next to the coat rack.  Pam’s eyes went wide.  “Steven!” she said nervously as he shut the front door behind him.  “I wasn’t expecting you for another hour.”

“Ah, well, I decided to come home early tonight.  It was a slow day,” he replied with a grin.  “Do I smell pasta?”

“Oh, yes, your favorite,” Pam replied and put on a fake smile.  Sam could tell it was fake.  She knew all her mother’s expressions well.  “But it won’t be ready for another hour.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t know you would be home so soon.”

Steven had a blank expression for a few seconds and then a sudden smile struck his features as he said, “Oh, that’s alright.  I can wait.”  He strolled over to her and she stood as he pulled her in for a kiss.  “How was your day?” he asked after he pecked her on the lips.

“It was alright,” Pam replied.  “Why don’t I get you a glass so you can have some wine with me?”  Just as she was about to turn to head to the kitchen, Steven grabbed her wrist a little roughly and pulled her against his chest, staring in her eyes with a cold expression.

They just stood there for a few seconds, Steven looking serious and Pam looking fearful.  Then just as quickly as he grabbed her wrist, he grinned, let go, and said, “That’s okay.  I can get my own glass, woman.  You think I’m helpless?”

“N-No, not at all,” Pam replied nervously.  “I-I just…”

“Do you realize how ignorant you sound when you stutter like that?” he growled at her.

Pam was taken aback.  And Sam looked like she wanted to punch this guy’s head off.

“I’m…sorry,” Pam managed to get out without stuttering in fear.  “I’ll try to remember that.”

Sam couldn’t believe what she was seeing.  Any time her mother had been in a relationship before, she had been the one in charge.  She’d never let a man tell her what to do.  She’d always controlled her boyfriends with sex, or the threat of no sex.  At the very least, she’d never seen her mother this afraid and submissive before.

Steven tsked her.  “Don’t try.  Just do!  Just because you didn’t go to college, doesn’t mean you have to act uneducated.”  Pam nodded apprehensively.  “Alright then!  I’ll get a glass,” he said as his creepy smile returned.  They both headed into the kitchen and Steven went over to the cupboard to retrieve a wine glass.  “I assume we are having steak with the pasta?” he asked as he closed the cupboard.

“Oh, well…we were going to,” Pam started, her voice cracking in fear.  “But they were out of the good kind that you like at the grocery store.  So, I got chicken instead.”  Pam gulped as Steven set the glass down on the countertop and started unbuttoning the cuffs on his long sleeve shirt.

“Chicken?!” he asked as he glared at her.  He sighed heavily and began rolling his sleeves up.  “Why do you make me do this?” he asked as he strolled over to her and abruptly slapped her hard across the face.

Pam cried out in pain and gripped her cheek.  “I-I…I j-just…” she stuttered as she started sobbing.

“You j-j-just…what?” he taunted her, making fun of her fear-induced speech and slapping her again.  “I work hard all day and come home to this?!  A man expects dinner on the table when he comes home!  And he expects it to be to his liking!  You think I enjoy having to correct you all the time?”

He grabbed Pam by the shoulders and threw her down on the kitchen floor as he started taking off his belt.

Cam put her hand on Sam’s shoulder and said, “We should go now.  You don’t want to see this.”

Suddenly, they were outside, staring up at the nice house that hid all the abuse inside.

“I can’t believe this!” Sam growled angrily.  “I should rip his head off!”

“Unfortunately, you can’t,” Cameron replied.

“How did she get here?” Sam asked angrily.  “How did she go from…beating me to being beaten?”  Sam’s heart gave a pang.  She never wanted this for her mom, no matter how badly her mother had treated her.

“Steven seemed nice in the beginning,” Cam explained.  “But soon after the wedding, he started to show his true colors.  I guess your first impression of him was correct.  But in this reality, you weren’t here to scare him off.  So, they ended up together.  Your mother has been hiding the bruises for a long time.  You didn’t know it, but you’ve actually been protecting your mother as well all these years from several would-be abusers.”

Sam stared down at the sidewalk, “I knew about some of them.  If any of them had any red flags, I got rid of them before things could get bad.”

“You’ve been looking out for your mom, even though she never looked out for you,” Cam voiced.  She put her hand on Sam’s shoulder again.  “Come.  It’s time to move forward a few years.”

The happy-looking home started to melt away and then they were off again, floating through time and space.

Meanwhile, back in the real world:

Carly was still standing on shore, watching the search and rescue team.  The temperature had dropped as it went into the overnight hours and more snow had fallen.  The head of operations walked over to Spencer, and Carly could barely make out their conversation since they were several feet away and the wind was loud.  She couldn’t hear it all but she heard bits and pieces.

“Sorry…gotta pull my guys out…too dark…zero visibility…” the officer said, “…too cold…putting my men at risk…”

Spencer nodded solemnly.  His face looked grim as he glanced over to Carly.

The officer went on, “…start back up in the morning………since we’re looking for a body at this point anyway…”

Something in Carly snapped at those words as realization sunk in.  She threw the blanket down that had been wrapped around her shoulders and marched over to Freddie, who had gone over to a table they had set up with hot chocolate.  When he saw her approaching with the livid expression on her face, his features suddenly turned fearful.  He braced himself as Carly walked right up to him and punched him hard in the face.  It nearly knocked him off his feet but he steadied himself against the table.

“I don’t ever want to see you again!” Carly yelled at him.  “You’ve killed her!  It’s your fault she’s dead!  Sam was the love of my life!  I will never get over her!  If I ever see you again, I’ll kill you myself!  DO YOU HEAR ME?!”

Freddie was gripping his face and staring wide-eyed at her in fear as he nodded his head in understanding.  Spencer stood stunned as he watched the scene play out.  He decided it was time to take his little sister home.

Puckett Apartment

Pam shuffled to the door after she heard a loud knocking.  After opening the front door, she was greeted by two officers.

“Are you Pam Puckett?  Mother of Sam Puckett?” one of them asked.

“Yeah, what’s she done this time, officers?” Pam asked angrily.

“Pardon?” one of the officers asked.

“My daughter?  Sam?  I assume she’s broken the law again,” Pam slurred as she took a swig of her glass of whiskey.

“Ah, no ma’am,” the second officer said grimly.  “We’re sorry to have to inform you of this but…” he trailed off and the first officer continued.

“It appears your daughter jumped off the Aurora Bridge this evening.  She’s presumed dead.”

Pam’s mind felt dazed.  She heard the officers continue, asking questions about if Sam had been upset or suicidal.  And how they would have to continue the search for her body in the morning.  But Pam just stood there, in a world of her own.

“Ma’am?” the officer asked.  “Are you okay?”  Pam just stood silent.

“Do you understand what we’ve told you?” the other officer asked.

Pam just nodded but didn’t reply.  The officers soon left and she closed the front door.  She slowly made her way over to the couch and her face crumbled in anguish.  She collapsed on the sofa and cried, knowing it was her fault that her daughter was dead.

Carly and Spencer entered their apartment in silence.  Nothing had been said on the drive home.  Spencer didn’t know what to do or say.  He was supremely worried about his sister.  He knew how much Carly loved Sam and was concerned about what his sister would do.  He didn’t think she could survive this.  Carly just stood in the center of the living room, looking as if she were a shell of her former self.  Then she spotted Sam’s leather jacket on the sofa that she’d left behind.  She scooped it up and held it up to her face to breathe in Sam’s scent.  Then she gave a heavy sigh.

Spencer came up to her and tried to hug her but she flinched at his touch.  “I’m going to bed,” Carly said numbly and then headed up the stairs.

She felt empty as she wandered into her bathroom to get ready for bed.  Her body was on autopilot and her mind felt like it was on “standby mode”.  It felt as if half of her soul had left.  She didn’t know how she was supposed to live now.  Suddenly, she started to notice certain things around the room; the bathtub, her razorblade in the shower, the bottle of sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet.  Ways of escape.  Out of her current hellhole.  She didn’t think she could live without Sam.  She pulled out the handsewn bracelet from her pocket that she’d given to Sam the previous year for Christmas.  One of the search and rescue divers found it in the water and returned it to her.  It was the only thing they’d found.  Carly’s eyes started watering again at the words, Carly and Sam Forever sewn on the side.  She slipped it on her wrist as a way to keep Sam close.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize herself.  The light had gone out in her eyes and she looked drained as she washed the pink unicorn painting off her cheek.  She finished up in the bathroom and then headed for bed after shutting the lights off.  After climbing into bed, she wrapped her pillow in Sam’s jacket and then got settled, gazing out the window at the snow coming down.  It made her think of her kiss with Sam earlier that evening when the snow had just started to fall.  It felt like it had started snowing just for them.  Now, just a few hours later, her world seemed totally on its head.  What would she do without Sam?  Her eyes landed on the framed photo collage on her nightstand that Sam had made for her the previous Christmas.  She grabbed it off her bedside table and gazed at all the pictures of her and Sam throughout the years.  She cradled it close to her chest as she began to drift off.

Cameron and Sam landed on a street corner outside.  It was freezing cold and late evening.  Sam looked around, not recognizing where she was.  “Where are we now?” she asked.  “Or rather, when?”

“Three years from the last scene we just saw,” Cam answered.  “So, if you were in this reality, you would be 16.”

“So, a year in the future?” Sam asked.  “I mean, my future.  Or the future for everyone else.”

“Yes,” Cam replied.  “I had to take you a little further than the present.”

The sky was gray and cars blew past on the busy street.  Then Sam saw her.  Her mother was sitting on a street corner next to an alley.  She was bundled up, trying to stay warm.  There was a backpack laying on the sidewalk next to her and a plastic cup that had a few coins inside.  Bruises covered her face.

“She’s begging for money?” Sam asked in surprise.  “What happened?”

“After a few more years of abuse, she tried to leave Steven.  But he got so angry that he beat her, emptied her bank account and kicked her out.  He left her with nothing.”

“Oh, mom!” Sam said in sympathy as tears formed in her eyes again.

“She had no one to turn to,” Cam continued, “she’ll eventually have to resort to prostitution to be able to eat.”

“Are you serious?” Sam asked, her face full of sadness and disappointment.  “Mom,” Sam tried to reach out for her but her fingers went right through her.  “I-I’m sorry.  I should have been there,” Sam sobbed, tears slipping down her face.

“She didn’t turn out as well as you thought she would.  Did she?” Cam pointed out sadly.  “None of them do.”

“Will things ever get better for her?” Sam asked around a sniffle.

“No,” Cam said flatly.  “Not if this is your choice.  To never have been born.”  Sam looked over to Cam with tears stinging her eyes.  “It’s time to move on,” Cam added.  She placed her hand on Sam’s shoulder and they were off again.

Seconds later they were back in the Shay apartment, which looked even darker than before.  And a complete mess.  Dirty dishes and clothes were scattered around the apartment and it looked like no one had vacuumed in months.  The arcade game, Pak Rat, was sitting in the corner of the room with a brick through the screen.  It was shattered and unusable.

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“In your reality, Spencer got hooked on the arcade game, Pak Rat,” Cam began, “and the three of you got him unhooked by finding Sasha Striker to challenge him to a game off through the power of iCarly.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Sam muttered.

“But, in this reality, iCarly doesn’t exist,” Cam reminded, “Spencer stayed addicted to it.  He stopped showering and working on his art.  And remember the Labradoodle sculpture Spencer paid all of you $20 to help him build?”

“The one he made for that important doctor’s wife, for her birthday?” Sam asked, now remembering.

“Yes, he was well respected in the Seattle art community and held a lot of influence,” Cameron reminded her.  “Well, Spencer never finished the Labradoodle sculpture because he was too addicted to Pak Rat and the rich doctor was so mad about it that he basically had Spencer blacklisted from the art community.  It made it virtually impossible for him to sell his sculptures anywhere locally.”

“Poor Spence,” Sam mumbled.

“Basically, his art career went into the toilet after this because all he ever did was play Pak Rat.  Carly finally smashed it with a brick because she got fed up with it.  So, now it just sits in the corner, collecting dust.”

A scruffy and unkempt Spencer strolled into the living room from his bedroom.  He was dressed in pajamas and had a shaggy beard.  His hair was long and greasy.

“Oh, wow!” Sam muttered in surprise at his disheveled appearance as she watched him open the fridge and began to drink directly from the milk carton.  He shut the fridge and then pulled out a box of cereal, opened it and started dumping the sugary food into his mouth straight from the box.

Then he shuffled over to the couch, turned on the TV and proceeded to eat the rest of his cereal with his bare hands.

“This is unreal,” Sam mumbled in shock.

“After Carly destroyed the Pak Rat game, Spencer felt like a failure as an artist for letting his career dwindle and as a brother because of Carly’s bad behavior and depression.  He didn’t have any direction after that.  No drive to create art or to do anything.  They also began to fight a lot more often.”

Just then, a 16-year-old Carly came down the stairs.  Sam couldn’t believe her eyes.  This was not the same Carly she knew.  The brunette was dressed all in black.  Black, ripped jeans.  Black boots.  And a black halter top, that showed off her shoulders and revealed a tattoo of a thorny red rose on her back, near her shoulder blade.  She had multiple piercings in both ears and dark eye shadow and lipstick.  Her hair was darker than ever but with a strip of red going down one side and was cut short.  Her long flowing locks were gone.

“Cupcake?” Sam asked in disbelief.

Carly quickly walked over to the coat rack, grabbing a black leather jacket and pulling it on.

“Where are you going?” Spencer asked, still crunching on his cereal.

“Out!” Carly snapped.

“I didn’t ask for a side of ‘bad attitude’,” Spencer replied angrily.

“Then don’t ask at all!” Carly retorted as she stormed out the front door in a hurry, slamming it behind her.

Sam assumed they would be following Carly out but Cam walked through the walls and into the Benson apartment.  Sam followed close behind.

“Mom, just shut the fuck up!  I can’t handle you anymore!” Freddie yelled at his mother as he tossed an empty beer bottle in the corner of the room.  Instead of his usual dorky clothes, he was dressed in ripped blue jeans and a black t-shirt with a heavy metal band on the front.

Sam was taken aback.  She never thought she’d hear those words come out of his mouth.  He’d never been that disrespectful to his mother either.

“Freddie’s drinking?!” Sam asked in shock.

“Fredward Benson!  How dare you speak to me that way!” Marissa yelled back.  “You are on a one-way road to hell, young man!  I can’t take the lying and the drinking!  Your grades have gone down the toilet and you have no future if you continue this way!” 

“I drink because you’re too overbearing!  I can’t take this shit anymore!”

“I just want you to come to church and talk to Father O’Malley.  He can help you get your life back on track.”

“I’m never stepping foot in a room with that man again!” Freddie yelled back.  “Not after what happened in that confessional booth!  The man’s a perv!”  Marissa looked shocked at the insinuation.

Freddie stormed into his bedroom, with his mother following close behind.  And Sam and Cam followed suit as well.  He started throwing clothes into a duffle bag.

“What are you doing?” Mrs. Benson asked in concern.

“I’m leaving this hellhole!” Freddie yelled as he continued to pack his bag.  “I can’t take you treating me like a baby all the time!  You never let me do anything!  I have no friends because of you!  Anyone I try to bring over gets scared off by you!  I can’t have a girlfriend because you think it’s icky and don’t want me having sex!  You never let me go anywhere either!  All I ever do is chores and run errands!  Color mugs with you!  Synchronized swimming lessons!  Church!  Aggressive Parenting conventions!  Well, I can’t take it anymore!  You and your tick gasser can shove it!”

“Freddie!” Marissa cried.  “I just want what’s best for you!”

Freddie zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.  “Living here is not what’s best!  I’m done!”

Marissa tried to pull him into a hug to stop him but Freddie just shoved her out of the way, causing his mom to bang into the closet door and she started to sob.  He didn’t even slow down.  He just stormed out of the apartment.

“Holy fuck!” Sam exclaimed.  “We are definitely in The Twilight Zone!  I never thought Freddie would run away!  Or do any of that stuff!”

Cam just nodded and then they were flying again.  This time, they landed outside on a bluff overlooking the city.  The night sky was clear with stars shining.  And there was one lone car parked near the edge.

“Where are we now?” Sam wondered.  Cam didn’t say anything as the car in front of them started to rock back and forth and Sam noticed that all the windows were steamed up.  “Oh, wow!  Someone is getting it on!”

“This is still the same night we just came from, just a couple hours later,” Cam informed her.

“Who’s in the car?” Sam asked but Cam didn’t say anything as they watched the car continue to rock.  Then Sam’s features turned from amusement to shock as a horrifying thought occurred to her.  “Oh god, who’s in the car?!”

All too soon the rocking stopped and then one of the back doors opened.  Sam looked pale, like she might lose her lunch when she saw that it was her Cupcake emerge from the backseat, straightening her hair and pulling her jeans up and then zipping them.

“Where are you going?” a male voice called from the backseat.

“Oh god,” Sam mumbled.  “No.”  Carly slammed the door shut and then started walking away.  “Cupcake, no,” Sam sounded heartbroken.  The thought of Carly being with someone else, anyone else, made her heart hurt.  Who’s the boy? she wondered.  Please don’t be Freddie.  Tell me it’s not Freddie!

Sam only felt slightly relieved when she saw a mat of blond hair emerge from the other side of the car.  Blond hair and blue eyes to be exact.  Wow, Carly really does have a type, Sam thought.  She realized it was Jake; slightly older and taller than the last time she saw him.  He had been the first person to play guitar and sing on their webshow.  She remembered Carly having a crush on him.  At the time, Sam had felt disappointed that Carly could have feelings for someone else, but she didn’t show it.  She wanted her Cupcake to be happy.  And it had been more than a year before she and Carly got together as a couple.

Jake got out of the car, zipping his pants; his long sleeve button-down hanging open to reveal his muscular chest and abs.  “Carly, what are you doing?” he hollered as he sprinted over to catch up with her.  He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around to face him.  “You screw me and then leave?!” his voice sounded hurt.

“I told you, I have plans with my friends tonight,” Carly replied sounding cold.

“No, you neglected to tell me that part,” Jake replied, “I thought we were going to spend the entire night together.”  He took her hand but Carly just pulled it out of his grasp.

“Jake…” Carly began, looking away.  She wanted to avoid his eyes.  “This isn’t working out.  I’m done.”

“You’re done?!” Jake replied, sounding irritated and surprised.  “Carly, what the hell?  I love you!  How can you just dump me with no explanation?  I know you love me.”

She scowled angrily as her eyes shifted back to his, “That’s where you’re wrong!” she replied callously, almost appearing insulted that someone would assume she could fall in love.  “I don’t love you!  I never did!  I just thought you were cute and seemed nice enough.  But I’m done with you now.  We don’t click and you’re boring!  Is that explanation enough?”

Jake was taken aback, his mouth hanging open in shock.  Carly abruptly turned and started walking down the dirt road that led back to the main one into town.

“Fine!” Jake yelled back with tears stinging his eye.  He turned to walk back to his car but then stopped and swirled back around with a concerned look.  “At least let me give you a ride.  It’s not safe to be out here by yourself.”

“I’ll be fine!” Carly hollered back, waving at hand at him dismissively as she walked in the other direction.  Jake just slumped his shoulders and went back to his car.

“Wow!” was all Sam could say.  She remembered Jake being a nice guy.  He didn’t deserve that.  But more shocking, was Carly’s attitude.  How could she be so horrible? Sam thought as she watched her walk out of sight.

As if Cameron could read her mind, she replied, “Carly began dating different boys from a young age since she felt lonely and had no friends.  A couple years ago, when she was 14, one of them…did something horrible to her and it changed her even further.”  Sam could tell Cameron didn’t want to explain but a pit was forming in her stomach.  She had to know.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked with fear entering her voice.  “What happened?  What did he do?!”

Cam’s face looked grim as she continued, “He……sexually assaulted her.”

Sam felt a punch to her gut and her heart shatter as all the air left her lungs.  She felt as if someone she loved had just died.  “No!  No, no, no!” she sobbed, sounding like a person in mourning.  Cam wrapped her arms around her in a hug, trying to console her.  Sam continued to cry as her Christmas angel rubbed her back.  The blonde was glad that Cam hadn’t shown her that part but her heart was still broken thinking of the worst thing happening to her Cupcake.  After a few minutes, Sam straightened up and wiped her face.

“What happened after that?” Sam asked, determined to get this part over with.

“She never told anyone about it,” Cam answered.  “She became even more withdrawn and depressed.  She lost her self-worth.  And as a result, she began experimenting with sex and drugs.  She started sleeping with any boy who showed her interest, as a way to try to feel connected to someone.  To anyone.  She felt as if there was a hole in her chest.  Like she was incomplete.  And she tried to fill that void with unhealthy things.”

“Drugs too?” Sam asked shocked.

Cam nodded somberly, “She tried to numb her pain with whatever she could get her hands on.  Alcohol, drugs, boys.  Most of them are guys that you would probably give a beating to.”

“She’s with jerks?  That’s just great.  Why?  And why would she dump Jake?” Sam wanted to know.  “He was nice.  It’s almost as if…”

“Finish your train of thought,” Cam prodded gently when the blonde trailed off.

“It’s almost as if she’s trying to find the right one but she can’t relate to any of them.  Like she…”

“Can’t find her soulmate?” Cam pointed out.  Sam just went quiet as she took all this in.  “She doesn’t have you,” Cam went on.  “The person she needs and craves.  You are that to her and she doesn’t even know it.  And…she’s slowly starting to realize that she will forever remain unhappy and alone.  She’ll never learn to trust anyone with her heart.  That’s why even the nice guys aren’t good enough for her.  But at the same time, she also doesn’t feel good enough for anyone else.  Because she’s supposed to be with you.”  Sam felt a stab of guilt to her heart and they started to float to their next destination.

Their feet landed back on solid ground and Sam recognized exactly where they were.  “This is Wendy’s house,” Sam voiced out loud as she peered up at the nice house with loud music booming from within.  Teenagers were coming and going from the front door and several were hanging out on the front porch.  “Her parents must be out of town if she’s throwing a party this big.”

As they made their way through the house, she recognized several kids from school that were circled around a keg of beer in the corner of the room.  She spotted Wendy on the living room couch with several kids she was chatting with, and Gibby standing in the corner talking to some guys she didn’t know.  The house was full and the music was loud.  Even the stairway was packed with kids coming and going, some of which were obviously drunk.  As they made their way towards the back patio, she could see some of her old classmates in the swimming pool in the backyard and others smoking pot as they sat on lawn chairs nearby.

Then Freddie and Ripoff Rodney caught her eye as they went into the pool house and shut the door.  Sam and Cameron followed them in, walking through the closed door, and observed Missy and Griffin playing a game of billiards as Carly lounged on the couch.  A coffee table was set in front of her as she rolled a joint.  Freddie and Ripoff Rodney started up a game of darts on the other side of the room.

“Missy?!  And Griffin?!” Sam shouted with disdain.  She hated the both of them.  “These are Carly’s friends?!”

“At the end of freshman year, Griffin moved into Carly’s building.  And just a couple weeks after that, Missy returned,” Cam began to explain.

“Yeah, that wackjob who tried to steal Carly away from me!” Sam interrupted.  “She basically poisoned me!  And I got the distinct feeling that she wanted Carly as more than just a friend!”  Cam remained silent as Sam vented.  “And Griffin!” Sam narrowed her eyes at the brunette boy leaning against the pool table with a cue stick in his hands.  “That asshole kept coming onto Carly when he moved into her building, even though he knew she was my girlfriend!  And that was after he stole Spencer’s motorcycle!  He’s a criminal!  And not a very good one either.  Luckily, he left Carly alone after she told him to take a hike and that she was in love with me.”

“Well, in this reality,” Cam finally proceeded, “you weren’t around to get rid of Missy.  In your reality, you asked Freddie for help and he got her sent off on a six-month cruise, where she spent every waking moment vomiting into the sea.”

“Yeah, she got back just a month ago,” Sam replied.  “Luckily, I got her transferred to another school by telling her parents I would press charges for poisoning me if she didn’t leave for good.”

“But like I said, in this reality, you weren’t here to get rid of her,” Cam went on.  “So, Carly stayed friends with her.  And she wasn’t a very good influence, to put it lightly.”

Sam watched as Missy went over to Griffin and kissed him deeply.  “What the hell?” Sam asked in confusion.  “Griffin is with Missy?”

“Remember the boy I mentioned who…hurt Carly?” Cam asked her.

Realization dawned on Sam.  “Griffin?!  That bastard raped her?!” Sam yelled in shock, her face turning red from rage.  “I’ll rip his head off!  I’ll chop off his-”

“Sam,” Cameron stopped her, laying a gentle hand on the blonde’s shoulder.  “You can’t do anything, remember?”  Sam’s blood was boiling and she felt like she was going to flip her lid.  She wanted to smash something.  She wanted to murder Griffin.  She wanted to yell and scream and pound her fists into the boy who hurt her Cupcake.  But she couldn’t.  She started to feel dizzy and Cam instructed her to put her hands on her knees and take a few deep breaths, which she did.

After regaining her breathing and her pulse started to return to normal, Sam finally straightened up and wearily asked, “Why the hell is she here with him?”

Cam finally resumed her explanation after she made sure Sam was good to continue.  “When Carly first met him, they started dating.  But then Griffin…did what he did.  After the assault, Carly broke up with him and told him never to touch her again or she would go to the police.  He knew Carly didn’t have the resolve to go through with it and he even laughed in her face, telling her that no one would believe her if she told.”

“Why didn’t she go to the police?  Or tell Spencer at least?” Sam asked incredulously.

“For the same reason a lot of girls don’t go to the police after something like this,” Cam answered.  “Shame, humiliation, fear.  And the sad reality is that most girls aren’t taken seriously.  The police try to downplay it or deter them from pursuing charges.  They’re pressured to keep quiet about it, whether it’s from police or parents or peers.  And even if charges are brought, most of the time the sentence is light and the girl still gets shamed in the process.  But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight for justice.  It’s a difficult position to be in though, and I would imagine that Carly didn’t want anyone to know either.”

Sam tore her eyes away from the boy she wanted to mutilate and glanced over to her Cupcake, her heart full of sympathy for her.  “It still doesn’t explain why she’s here with him.”

“So, after the breakup, Missy returned to Carly’s life and they became friends again.  Then one day, Missy ran into Griffin in the lobby of the Bushwell Plaza and they eventually started to date.  Carly tried to warn Missy about Griffin.  But she didn’t tell her about the assault, so Missy continued to go out with him, thinking that Carly was just upset that she was dating her ex-boyfriend.”

“This is all because of him!” Sam growled.  “Carly lost her self-worth and started having sex and doing drugs because of him!”  She tried to stuff down her anger since she knew she could do nothing about it anyway.  Sam strolled over to Carly on the couch, where the brunette had just lit up her joint and started to smoke.  She wanted to hug her but knew she couldn’t.

“Carly didn’t have any other friends,” Cam went on, “so, she was reluctant to toss Missy out of her life.  The two of them were very bad for Carly.  They were the ones who got her started on drugs.  Carly had to tolerate Griffin’s presence and eventually, the two of them just pretended that the assault never happened.”

“So, that piece of shit just gets away with it?!” Sam growled out.

“I’m sorry, Sam.  I know this is hard,” Cam replied.  “But you needed to know the truth.”

Missy skipped over to Carly and plopped down on the couch next to her, slinging her arm around the brunette’s shoulders.  Missy grinned at Carly and then forcefully turned her face to her own, and then kissed Carly square on the lips.  Sam’s eyes bulged in surprise.  Carly eventually pulled away from the kiss and grinned shyly at Missy.

“Why does it seem like this isn’t a surprise?  Like it’s common for Missy to kiss Carly?” Sam asked Cam.

“Because it is common,” Cam answered.  “Carly is used to Missy taking the lead and just going with the flow of whatever she wants.  And you were right about Missy being interesting in Carly as more than a friend.”

“I knew it,” Sam muttered and then glanced over to Griffin who was smirking at the sight of the two girls kissing.  “And I get the feeling this big ape is okay with it.”

“He’s more than okay with it,” Cam replied.  “He’s been trying to have a threesome with them for months but Carly keeps coming up with excuses as to why she can’t.  And she can’t seem to give Missy up.  Most of the time she doesn’t even want to be around the two of them but she has no other friends, so she tolerates the awkwardness.”

Missy then grabbed the joint from Carly and took a long drag from it.  Griffin sat down on Carly’s other side and pulled out a small baggie from his pocket and laid it out on the coffee table.  Carly looked skeeved out to have Griffin so close to her, but didn’t say anything.

“I brought the real deal,” Griffin grinned as he started dividing the white powdery substance into thin lines on the table.

“Are they seriously about to snort crack?!” Sam asked in surprise.

Griffin rolled up a dollar bill and snorted up the first line and then handed it to Carly.

“I can’t watch this,” Sam said sadly as she turned around.

After Carly took her hit, she passed the bill to Missy, and then Freddie and Ripoff Rodney soon joined in.  Several minutes passed and then the door abruptly burst open, causing everyone to jump, including Sam.  In walked Jocelyn, followed by her henchgirls, Elle and Lisa.

“What do we have here?” Jocelyn sneered.  “Looks like you started the party without me.”

“What is this bitch doing here?!” Sam asked, her features turning angry once more.

“What do you want?” Missy asked with irritation.

“Just to join in the fun,” Jocelyn replied, snatching the rolled-up bill from Freddie and then dropping to her knees to snort the last line of cocaine.

“No one invited you to join,” Griffin huffed out.

Jocelyn got to her feet as she glared at him.  Then she smirked and looked over to Carly.  “Ah, but Carly did, didn’t you?”

All eyes were on the brunette slouched down in the middle of the sofa.  “What?” Missy asked confused.

“Yeah, Carly and I are old pals.  We go way back,” Jocelyn replied with a smirk.  “And she’d never insult me by denying me anything.  Isn’t that right, Carly?”  The insinuation was glaringly obvious to Sam.

“Whoa!  Hold up!  Time out!” Sam called out, making the “time-out” sign with her arms.  In an instant, everything and everyone in the room froze, except for Sam and Cam.  “Whoa, that actually worked!”

“Because I actually froze time for you,” Cam replied.

“Oh,” Sam said, “well…I just need to know…what is Jocelyn going on about?  It sounds like-”

“Like Carly does whatever Jocelyn says?” Cam finished for her.  “Like she doesn’t have a say in what happens to her?”

“Yeah,” Sam replied sadly.  “She said Carly wouldn’t deny her anything.  Does that mean…?”

“Carly has had to do things she didn’t want to do in order to survive,” Cam explained.  “She’d do almost anything to avoid a physical beating from Jocelyn or to even avoid humiliation in front of the school.  Carly has had to lie, steal, and cheat.  All to please her bully.  She’s had to write term papers for her, take the fall for her when Jocelyn does something bad at school.  But Carly has also had to do other things for her.”

“Such as?” Sam slowly prodded.

“‘Sexual favors’, as Jocelyn would put it,” Cam muttered sadly.

Sam gasped loudly, glaring at the bully, “That bitch!”

“Jocelyn found out that Carly has been with a string of boys and she’s been holding it over Carly’s head.  Blackmailing her.  Promising to tell the whole school.  The abuse never stopped since Carly met Jocelyn.  It just changed form over the years.”

Sam glared at the bully, wanting to pound her face in.  But then her eyes glanced over to Carly in the frozen room.  The brunette just stared wide-eyed into space as if she were having an out of body experience.  It was clear that Carly was terrified of Jocelyn and what she might say in front of her friends.

“Carly, I’m so sorry,” Sam whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.  She could tell from the look on Carly’s face that she was more horrified, than anything else, that Jocelyn would tell them about all the things the mean girl does to her in the dark janitor’s closet at school.  Cam finally unfroze time and the scene continued to play out.

“Give it a rest, Jocelyn,” Freddie interrupted.  “Everyone knows Carly can’t stand you.  And what are you even doing at this party?  This is for high schoolers.  Oh, wait.  That’s right.  You failed last year and had to repeat your senior year.”

Jocelyn fumed as she turned her attention to Freddie, and Carly was grateful for the deflection.  “I’m not the only one failing,” she growled, getting in his face; towering over him by a good six inches.  “I heard you’re flunking all your classes.  I thought you were supposed to be smart.  You must be the dumbest nerd on the planet!”

Freddie just gulped and took a step back, fear etching his face.  “But getting back to Carly,” Jocelyn smirked, turning her attention back to the brunette.  Carly visibly tensed, waiting for the humiliation.  “Stand up!” Joceyln yelled and Carly flinched but did as she was told.  The bully shoved the coffee table out of the way with one shove of her foot and then grabbed Carly by the front of her shirt.

“Oh, I can’t take this!” Sam mumbled with rage, clenching her fists at her sides.

“Okay, I’m gonna do something I hadn’t planned on,” Cam said, turning to Sam.

“Huh?” Sam asked, befuddled.

“I’m gonna let you interact.  Just this once,” Cam answered her, as she placed her hand on Sam’s shoulder and then slowly disappeared.

“What are you…?” Sam trailed off as Cam faded and then she realized that all eyes had turned to her in the back of the room when they heard her speak.  Realizing they could now see and hear her, she took a deep breath and readied herself.

“Who the hell are you and how did you get in here?!” Jocelyn asked angrily with a hint of surprise on her face as she let Carly go and turned her full attention to the blonde.  Carly was once again grateful for the distraction and she took a few steps away from Jocelyn.

Sam glanced from face to face, everyone clearly confused as to how she entered the room without any of them noticing.  She cleared her throat and cracked her knuckles.  Oh, this is going to be fun!

“Me?” she asked gesturing to herself with a grin.  “I’m Sam Puckett.”  Carly couldn’t help but notice how confident Sam seemed.

“Do you go to our school?” Freddie asked.

“Yeah, the name doesn’t ring a bell,” Ripoff Rodney input.

“I guess you could say…I’m a temp,” Sam replied.

“An exchange student?” Carly asked, bringing Sam’s eyes to hers.

Sam grinned at her and then shrugged, “Sure, an exchange student.”  And then Sam winked at her.  Carly smiled back at her, a blush spreading across her face.

Jocelyn grumbled, “Yeah, well, we were in the middle of something, so-”

“Oh, right!” Sam cut in, irritating Jocelyn at being interrupted again.  “You came in here to be a pathetic bullying asshole!”

Carly gasped in shock at this newcomer’s boldness as the boys in the room all jeered and gave “Oooo” sounds.

Jocelyn sized Sam up and then stepped up to her, looming over her several inches.  “You looking for a fight?!” the bully asked angrily.

Sam smirked and replied, “I am!” just as she reared back and punched Jocelyn right in the nose.  The bully stumbled back a few feet, clutching her nose as blood spewed from it.  Everyone in the room was shocked, eyes wide and glued to Sam.

“Get her!” Jocelyn commanded and her cronies charged at Sam.  And it was on.

Sam dodged the punches thrown at her, tripping Elle in the process and making the goth girl stumble into the wall.  Lisa made a grab for Sam but the blonde easily took her down by flipping her over her shoulder.  Carly watched in amazement as Sam took down her bullies without breaking a sweat.  And the other spectators in the room were just as stunned.  Elle quickly recovered and picked up chair, preparing to swing it at Sam.

“Watch out!” Carly hollered, trying to warn the blonde.  Sam grinned at her again and turned just as Elle had the chair raised over her head.  But Sam was too quick.  Like a move out of a cartoon, she quickly grabbed the rug under Elle’s feet and pulled, causing the goth girl to fall to her back with a yelp.

Sam turned just in time to dodge a punch from Jocelyn and then threw a few punches of her own; each of the blows landing to the bully’s face, and then Sam kneed her in the stomach.  Once Joceyln was doubled over in pain, Sam gave her an uppercut to the jaw and the bully fell flat on her back.

Sam heard Freddie mumble, “Oh shit!” and she turned just in time to see Lisa, recovered and coming at her with a cue stick.  But Sam ducked as she swung at her and then grabbed the pool stick out of her hands, tossing it away.  Lisa attempted a few punches, but Sam just dodged and kicked her in the stomach.  Lisa was down for the count but the main bully stood, panting hard and glaring at Sam.

“Raaahhh!” Jocelyn yelled as she charged Sam, with a fist held back ready to strike.

Sam grabbed the bully by the fist as she ran at her, twisting it behind her back and using her momentum to throw Jocelyn clear across the pool table and then she fell to the floor in a heap.  Sam turned back to Carly with that Puckett grin, making the brunette’s heart flutter again.

“Holy crap!” Rodney exclaimed and started clapping.

“That was awesome!” Freddie agreed as he cheered with Rodney.

Griffin strolled over to Sam and, placing a hand on her shoulder, said, “Damn, girl!  You got some moves!  How about you and I-aaahhhhhh!”  But then he yelled in pain as Sam grabbed the hand that he laid on her shoulder and twisted his wrist at an unnatural angle, bringing Griffin to his knees.

“If you ever lay a hand on me or any other girl without their permission again, I’ll fucking castrate you!” Sam yelled in his face.  “YOU GOT THAT?!”  Griffin nodded; his eyes wide in fear.  “You oughtta be in prison for what you did!” Sam spat at him in a whisper that only he could hear, his eyes narrowing with understanding.  She shoved him away and he fell to the floor, gripping his fist in pain.  Missy just stared at her boyfriend unfazed by his obvious discomfort, but fearful of Sam.

Carly stared at this blonde stranger, completely mesmerized by her.  She’d never seen anyone so self-assured and fearless.  And strong.  And gorgeous, she thought as her heart sped up.  Sam had just put Jocelyn, her lackeys, and Griffin all in their place and she was completely turned on by it.  Sam made eye contact with her again and she felt as if time stood still.  Sam’s deep blue eyes were so piercing, as if she were looking right into Carly’s soul.

But the moment was interrupted when they all heard a kid outside yell, “Cops!!”

“Oh, shit!” Missy exclaimed and then ran for the door, followed quickly by Freddie and Rodney.  The three of them exited in a hurry as Sam heard Griffin groaning on the floor.

“You bitch!  I think you broke my hand!” Griffin yelled.

Sam just shut him up with a kick to the face and he was knocked out, laying on the floor with the other three bullies.

“I think we should get out of here,” Sam suggested.

“Yeah,” Carly agreed.

As soon as they stepped foot outside, it was pure pandemonium.  Kids were running every which way, trying to escape before the police could catch them.

“Oh, no,” Carly mumbled, clearly worried about getting caught with drugs in her system.

“Don’t worry,” Sam said, “I’ll get you out of here.”  She held out her hand, inviting Carly to take it.  “You can trust me,” Sam added.  “I promise I’ll get you home safe.”  The brunette looked down at Sam’s hand and then slipped hers into it, trusting Sam completely even though they had just met.  Then they were off, running.  Sam guided them around the pool, away from the cops, and they jumped over a tanning chair together.

They found a secluded corner of the yard and Sam helped Carly climb over the fence, boosting her up and over.  After Carly’s feet hit the ground on the other side, she called out, “Okay, come on!”

“Just a second.  I’ll be right back,” Sam said with a grin on her face as an idea struck her.  Then she ran back towards the pool house.  She stopped at the open doorway and looked back at the chaos.  Cops were trying in vain to catch any teen they could but so far, hadn’t had any luck.

“Hey!” Sam hollered out, getting one of the police officer’s attention.  “I think there are a few in here that you should check out!”  She jerked her thumb in the direction of the door and then she took off running behind the pool house.

Sam made it back around to the corner of the yard where Carly was waiting for her on the other side of the fence and easily hopped over, giving the brunette a grin.

“Where were you?” Carly asked.

“Check it out,” Sam said as they peered through the cracks in the fence to see two cops enter the pool house.  “They are gonna be so busted when they find the remnants of those drugs on the coffee table.”  Carly grinned in relief, knowing her bullies and Griffin would all most likely get arrested and sent to juvie.

Sam smiled at her and then grabbed her hand, “Come on.  We need to get out of here.”

Carly’s heart fluttered when she felt Sam’s hand in hers again.  Then they were off running again.  Carly never felt more alive, yet safe, in her entire life.  She felt as though she would follow Sam anywhere.  As they sprinted across the pavement, Carly gazed at Sam, curious as to who this mysterious girl was and where she came from.  And how she just happened to show up right when she needed her.  They ran for a couple blocks before slowing down to catch their breath.

Sam finally released Carly’s hand when she realized they were safe, and Carly felt disappointed at the loss of contact.  They continued to walk, but at a more leisurely pace.  Panting heavily, Sam said, “You’re safe.  I don’t think those asshats will be bothering you any time soon.”

“Thank you for stepping in when you did,” Carly said with a smile.  “You just popped up out of nowhere.”  Sam just shrugged but smiled in return.

“It was nothing,” Sam replied.

“No,” Carly retorted, “it was everything.  No one has every stood up for me like that.”

“What about your friends?” Sam asked.

“They, uh, aren’t really…I mean, I don’t consider them to be all that great.”

“Then why hang around them?  You could be with anyone you want.  Why tolerate them?”

Carly paused, and looked as if she’d never considered that before.  “I don’t know,” she finally said, “I guess I just haven’t found anyone I really click with.”

“Well, you deserve way better than them, Cupcake.  You should be surrounded by nothing but nice, intelligent, proper-”

“Cupcake?” Carly cut in with a grin.

“Oh…yeah,” Sam stuttered, not realizing she’d used Carly’s nickname.  “It’s just…a nickname I gave to…someone I used to really care about.  You…remind me of her.  A lot.”

Her? Carly thought, wondering if Sam was openly gay or bi, and admiring her for her courage.  “But you don’t care about her anymore?” Carly asked.

“No, I do, but…I screwed things up.”

Carly decided to let it drop, sensing this was a painful topic for Sam.  They continued on in silence for a while and then, after a few minutes, the brunette realized they were standing in front of the Bushwell Plaza.

“Well, here we are.  As promised, I got you home, safe and sound,” Sam said.

“How did you know where I live?” Carly asked stunned and confused.  She expected Sam to casually play it off or to act embarrassed but the blonde’s response surprised her.

“I know everything about you, Cupcake,” Sam mumbled as she stared Carly in the eye.

She should have been freaked out that this Sam person could potentially be a stalker, but Carly took a step closer to her, mesmerized again by Sam’s deep blue, penetrating eyes.  Something about her, drew Carly in.  She tentatively placed a hand on Sam’s arm, pulling her closer, still gazing into her eyes.

“What do you know about me?” Carly asked curiously, still searching Sam’s eyes for something.

“I know that you’re smart…compassionate…gentle,” Sam murmured.  “You feel things very deeply, but don’t show it.  You’re the bravest person I know.  You would die for the ones you love.  And…when you smile, you light up the room and make me feel…like…”

“Like, what?” Carly prodded as they continued to drift closer and closer.

“Like I’m actually worthy of you,” Sam finished just before their lips met in a gentle kiss.  And then it felt as if everything clicked into place.  The brunette felt like this was fate.  That she was somehow meant to be with Sam.  She couldn’t explain it.

Carly gently moaned at the softness of Sam’s lips, which made the blonde deepen the kiss.  The brunette knew she shouldn’t be kissing a stranger, but this stranger had done more for her in the past hour than anyone had ever done for her in her entire life.  Sam caressed Carly’s cheek with one hand while her other went around the brunette and rested at the small of her back.  Carly wrapped her arms around Sam’s neck and pulled her flush against herself as their lips rolled together.

Sam had missed her lips so bad.  It had been only hours since she’d kissed her Carly but it somehow felt longer, like days.  As soon as Carly’s lips had touched her own, she knew she’d made a mistake jumping off that bridge.  She regretted it.  And she regretted ever considering leaving Carly alone.  They continued to kiss for several passion-filled moments and then they pulled their lips back a few inches to breathe, staring into each other’s eyes.

“Sam…” Carly breathed out.  “I-”

But Sam cut her off with another soul-shattering kiss and Carly clung to her like a life support.  They continued to kiss for several more minutes until they heard the annoying sound of a throat clearing.  They abruptly pulled their faces apart and turned to look at the source of the interruption.  It was Lewbert glaring at them from the doorway of the Bushwell.

“Beat it!” Sam growled out at him and the doorman, looking insulted, went back inside, shutting the door behind him.

Sam finally disengaged herself from Carly and took a step back, looking apologetic.  “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, “I probably shouldn’t have done that.  You barely know me and-”

“No,” Carly cut in, “it’s okay.  I wanted you to.”  Sam smiled at her.  Carly had had many boyfriends but none of them had ever made her feel this way.  None of them made her heart race and her head swim with just a kiss.  She cleared her throat, “Uh, I should probably get upstairs before my brother gets angry.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed.  “I should…let you go.”  The way she said it, sounded like she meant something more than just letting Carly get home.

She turned away to leave but Carly called out, “Wait!  I don’t have your phone number or even know where you live.  How will I get in touch with you again?”

“Don’t worry, Carls,” Sam said with a warm smile, “you’ll see me again.  I promise.  I’ll find my way back to you.”

Carly was again struck with how profound she made casual conversation sound.  And her heart fluttered with the use of, yet another, nickname, as if Sam had known her, her whole life.  She watched Sam walk off into the darkness and then she headed into the building.  On the elevator ride up, she couldn’t keep her mind off how Sam seemed to really care about her.  No one had ever made her feel that loved, wanted, and needed before, and like she truly deserved to be loved.

When she made it into her apartment, Spencer asked her a few questions but she couldn’t focus on him.  She assumed he was asking about her night and where she had been but she was too busy thinking about Sam’s warm smile, her beautiful blue eyes, and her confidence and strength, to hear what her brother was babbling about.  She took her jacket off and hung it on the coat rack.

Spencer finally realized Carly wasn’t listening to him and decided to mess with her to get her attention.  “So, I finally got that cat out of the wall but it wasn’t a cat.  It turned out to be a purple troll with orange hair.  It gave me some gold coins and I bought a pink unicorn with it.”

“Uh-huh,” was Carly’s only reply as she started for the stairs with an enamored smile on her face, leaving Spencer looking confused.

She went into her room and walked right over to her desk.  She sat down and pulled out her journal from her desk drawer and started writing for the first time in a long time.  Sam and Cam reappeared behind her but they were, once again, invisible to Carly and everyone else.

“I know I shouldn’t have kissed her,” Sam grumbled, “I should have just kept my distance, right?”

“Sam,” Cameron cut her off, “I let you interact with her for a reason.  It’s not for me to tell you what to do.  I think you did an amazing job.”  Stunned, Sam smiled over at Cam.  “But it was just a one-time thing.”  Sam nodded and then walked over to read what Carly was writing over her shoulder.

Dear Journal,

I met the most amazing person tonight.  Her name is Sam Puckett and I think I’m in love!  I’ve never been in love before.  I didn’t know it could feel like this.  I can’t explain it, I just feel like Sam and I are meant to be together.  She makes me feel seen.  And heard.  And loved.  And beautiful.  She defended me from Jocelyn tonight and even beat up Griffin.  It was amazing!  She was amazing!  I’ve never felt this way before.  She makes me feel like anything is possible.  Where has she been all my life?  She’s the only one I’ve ever just clicked with.  For the first time in my life, I feel happy!  I can’t wait to see her again.  I guess I’ll see her at school.  I hope she ends up having classes with me.

Sam stopped reading and took a step back with a smile on her face.  She was glad she had been able to make Carly feel better.  Maybe things will be okay for her now, Sam thought.  Maybe her bullies will leave her alone and she can be happy.  Maybe she doesn’t even need me.

“Sam, does that sound like a girl who doesn’t need you or even want you?” Cam asked in a stern voice, surprising Sam.

“Holy cow!” Sam exclaimed, “have you been reading my mind all night?”

“Yes,” Cam said bluntly with no shame.  “Within minutes of meeting you, she’s fallen head over heels for you.  Do you think she’ll just be okay with you disappearing?  Do you think your Carly will be okay with that?”

Sam’s shoulders slumped.  She had wanted Carly back the second she stepped foot off that bridge and realized she was dead or in an in-between world.  But she still felt that Carly would be better off without her.  She had been hoping Carly and all her loved ones would find a way to live without her.  But so far tonight, it had been one shit-storm after another.  Yes, it made Sam feel important to have made such a positive impact in all their lives by simply existing, but she felt guilty too.

“Don’t you realize yet how important you are to Carly?” Cam asked her.  “Or to Spencer?  Freddie, Mel, your mom?  You didn’t realize it, but you are important to all of their lives.”  Sam just frowned and remained silent.  She didn’t want to go back and feel all that pain again.  The pain of her mother hating and beating her.  The pain of Carly looking at her after she’d accidentally her hurt.  She felt that Carly would eventually break up with her and find someone better.  Her whole life had been filled with pain, except for most of her moments with Carly.

Cam sighed, “I still haven’t gotten through to you.  I thought I was but…”  She trailed off and then grabbed Sam by the shoulders.  “It’s time to move forward.  To show you how all of them will end up.”  Sam felt that familiar whooshing feeling and they were floating again.

They landed in a dark abandoned building.  Trash littered the floors and graffiti covered the walls.  Dirty hobos laid on the floors throughout the open rooms, even in the hallways.  “Where are we?” Sam asked with fear entering her voice.

“A few years into the future,” Cam answered.  “The slums.”  Sam followed Cam through the rooms, wondering who they were here for but knowing it wouldn’t be good either way.  They finally came across a woman laying on an old, dirty mattress with no sheets.  She was passed out and had a needle hanging out of her arm.

“Oh, my god!  Mom!” Sam blurted out when she realized it was her mother.  “No!!!”  She bent down to try to help her but her hands went through her.  Tears began streaming down her face.  “What h-happened?” she stuttered.

“After Steven kicked her out, her life went from bad to worse, to atrocious,” Cam explained sympathetically.  “She had to sell her body to get money for food and then eventually got hooked on drugs as a way to deal with her pain.  She finally OD’d but no one has even noticed.  By the time anyone realizes and calls the paramedics, she’ll be dead.”

“No!” Sam yelled with tears coming even harder now.  She ran her hand through her hair, unable to comprehend what she was seeing.  “We have to help her!”

“We can’t,” Cam said simply as Sam continued to cry.  “Come on.  We must go further.”  She touched Sam’s shoulder and they were flying again.

They landed in the corridor of a prison.  Sam could see rows and rows of jail cells.  She gasped.  She didn’t want to know who ended up here but knew it was inevitable to find out.  She followed Cam to one particular jail cell and she peered in through the bars to see an older Freddie, in his 20s, with a short beard.  He had tattoos up and down both arms and he was doing push-ups on his floor.

“Wow, Freddie?  In prison?” Sam muttered.

“After he ran away from home, he couch-surfed for a while with different friends until he eventually joined a gang,” Cam explained.  “He got deep into drugs and crime and then landed here after getting arrested for stealing a car.  He was also linked to several other crimes that added onto his time, some of which included selling drugs and running guns.”

“Holy shit!” Sam mumbled in surprise.  “How much time did he get?”

“He won’t be eligible for parole for another 20 years.  And then, after only being out for a few months, he’ll land back in prison for good after committing armed robbery, where he accidentally kills someone.”

“Are you serious?!” Sam asked stunned.  Cam merely nodded.  They started to drift through time and space again and then their feet planted firmly on solid ground.  This time, Sam immediately recognized where they were, the iCarly studio.  But instead of the actual studio, the room was just used for storage.  It was filled with dusty boxes and shelves.  It looked exactly how it looked before they fixed it up as the studio in eighth grade.

Sam saw Spencer in the corner of the room, looking just as disheveled as he did in the last scene she saw him, except his beard was shaved and he had a goatee instead.  He looked sad as he stared at some pictures of himself and Carly and then rummaged through the box in front of him.  He pulled out one of Carly’s old journals and started to read from it.

“What happened to Spencer?” Sam asked.

“He went back to being a dental assistant,” Cam informed her, “the job he briefly had when he decided to quit being an artist because he was so depressed that Harry Joyner, the famous artist, didn’t like his art.”

“I remember that,” Sam replied.  “He hated being a dental assistant.  Why would he go back to that?”

“He couldn’t make it as an artist after being blacklisted, so he went back to that job.  He needed to pay the rent after their father cut them off.”

“Mr. Shay stopped helping them out?” Sam asked stunned.

Cam nodded, “Yes, he stopped sending them money when he learned how much of a deadbeat Spencer had turned into and…after what happened with Carly.”

Sam turned to Cam with a deadly serious expression.  “What happened with Carly?”  Cam was silent for a few moments.  “Cam!  What happened with Carly?!”

“It’s better if I just show you,” she replied.  Then they were flying.

After a few moments, they landed in a dark, loud club.  Only, Sam realized this wasn’t any ordinary club.  It was a strip club and the music was blaring.  Oh no, Sam thought in a panic.  “Tell me she’s not here!” Sam yelled at Cam.

Cam just pointed up to the stage, front and center, and Sam turned her head to see Carly, who looked to be in her 20s, in a skimpy black stripper outfit; a plunge bra, thong, and a matching pair of black heeled boots that went up to her knees.  Her hair was longer; back to her usual length.  Sam’s eyes bulged as she saw her Cupcake pole dancing.  “Oh, Cupcake, no!” Sam sounded heartbroken.  Dirty men were sticking dollar bills into her G-string.

Sam gritted her teeth and balled her fists.  She wanted to beat them all to a bloody pulp.  Just then, she heard one of the men whistle loudly and waved a roll of bills at her.  Carly got down off the stage and started giving the man with the fistful of cash a lap dance.  Sam saw red.  “I’m…I’m gonna…” Sam trailed off, unable to form words or to even breathe properly.

Cam realized that Sam was about to lose it, and she immediately teleported them both outside the club.  Sam doubled over, placing her hands on her knees, trying to get some air.  She wasn’t used to holding her anger in for so long and not being able to throw punches.  It’s one of the reasons why Cam let her interact with Jocelyn.  “I’m sorry, Sam,” Cam said sympathetically, placing a hand on her back to soothe her.

After several minutes, Sam was finally able to regain her breathing as she slowly calmed.  She no longer felt dizzy.  “How…how did she get here?!” Sam asked incredulously.

“After you interacted with her, walked her home, and kissed her goodnight,” Cam began, “she looked everywhere for you at school.  But you never came back into her life.  Her depression came back worse than ever.  She started skipping school and doing drugs even more.  She eventually dropped out and left her home with Spencer.  In order to make money, she became a stripper.  She makes plenty of money, but she spends most of it on drugs to try to numb the pain of being completely and utterly alone.”

“What if I had never interacted with her?” Sam asked.

“She still would have ended up here,” Cam answered.  “But you gave her a wonderful moment.  A nice memory for her to look back on and remember that she felt loved.  Even if it was just for a brief moment in time.”  When Sam remained silent, Cam continued.  “After the cops raided Wendy’s party, Griffin, Jocelyn and her henchgirls all got arrested for drug use.  They went to juvie for a while.  Griffin stopped seeing Missy because he blamed her for leaving him unconscious at the party and getting arrested.  And since he didn’t go to Carly’s school, she never had to see him again.  Missy eventually stopped hanging around Carly because she blamed ‘her friend’, aka you, for what went down at the party and making Griffin break up with her.”

“Good riddance!” Sam said in disgust.  “To both of them!”

“Carly never had to deal with Jocelyn ever again either because by the time she got out of juvie, Carly had dropped out of school.”

“Well, that’s one good thing,” Sam noted.  “I guess.  Sort of.”

“But Carly didn’t have any friends anymore.  And she was so depressed that you never showed back up, that she didn’t need Griffin or Missy for drugs.  She started seeking them out on her own, which in turn, introduced her to a whole new dark side to Seattle.”

Cam paused for a few moments and then asked, “Are you okay to continue?”

Sam took a few more steadying breaths and then said, “Let’s get this over with.”

Cam nodded and they were suddenly standing in an apartment that Sam had never seen before.  It looked like a party was going on but she realized there were only men present and music was playing in the background.  One of the guys was pouring drinks for the others.  There was a knock on the front door and one of them answered it.  Carly walked in wearing a long trench coat.  Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Did someone here order some adult entertainment?” Carly asked the room of men as she turned up the music and ripped her coat off, revealing her stripper outfit, plus a few extra layers so she could take them off while she performed.

All the men in the room immediately started catcalling and whistling and cheering.  Carly smirked and started dancing around the room and playfully teasing the guys as she stripped off what little layers of clothing she had on.

“I can’t believe you got me a stripper for my bachelor party!” one of the men said to the one pouring drinks.

“Not just a stripper,” the bartender replied, winking at his friend.

Sam stared at Carly as if she were studying her.  She could tell, even though the brunette was smiling that something had gone out in her eyes.  She was performing, not just as a stripper.  She was doing well to hide the sadness in her eyes but Sam could see it.  She could always tell when it was there.

“Are you Jeff?” Carly asked as she approached the man standing next to his bartender friend.

“Y-Yes,” Jeff answered with a bashful grin.

“Well, party boy, this is for you!” Carly winked at him and sat him down in a chair.  Carly then started to grind into his lap as she gave him a lap dance and wiggled her breasts in his face.  All of Jeff’s friends cheered him on.

Sam just sighed sadly, not wanting to watch but unable to take her eyes off of the spectacle.  Cam placed a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder and then she began to speed up the scene.  “Let me fast forward for you,” she said to Sam and they watched as the night wore on in super speed.  Carly finished her performance with a smile on her face.  Then Cam slowed down the scene to let it play out in normal time.

Sam watched as the bartender guy slipped a few hundred-dollar bills in Carly’s hand as they stood in the corner of the room, the party continuing on around them.  “Your usual?” Carly asked and the man nodded with an excited grin.  Then they walked back into the bedroom and shut the door.

“Noooo,” Sam murmured sadly.  “She’s a hooker too?”

“She needed more money to feed her addiction,” Cameron replied.  “Drugs are expensive.  I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry!” Sam snapped at Cam.  “I can’t believe this is Carly’s life!  Please, let this be over!  I can’t take anymore!  Don’t show me anymore!  Please!”

“We must continue on,” Cam replied with sadness on her face.  Then they were transported to another place.  This time, it was an apartment that looked similar to the one she shared with her mom.

“Whose crappy apartment is this?” Sam asked, brushing the tears off her face.

“Mark’s,” Cam replied.

“Who is Mark?” Sam asked in annoyance.

“Carly’s boyfriend,” Cam answered just as Carly was literally thrown through the bedroom door by Mark, and landed hard on the floor.  “Carly’s abusive boyfriend.”

“I told you to shut up!” Mark yelled at Carly.  “I can’t believe you spent $2,500 of our money on a shitty used car without consulting me first!”

Carly got to her feet and brushed the hair out of her face.  “I needed a car!” she yelled back at him.  “And it wasn’t our money!  It was mine!  I earned it!”

“Well, you’re living in my apartment rent free!  So as far as I’m concerned, what you earn is mine!”

Sam clenched her jaw shut as she watched, feeling her blood pressure rising.  The couple continued to bicker back and forth about finances for several minutes until the conversation turned to more personal details.

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to sell your body for more money if you didn’t spend it all on crack and heroin!” Mark shouted.

“You’re one to talk!” Carly yelled back.  “You waste just as much on that shit as I do!  And what I do with my body is my decision!”

“Oh, yeah?!” Mark yelled as he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her flush against him.  Carly struggled to pull away but he grabbed her wrists roughly.

“Get your hands off me!” Carly shouted.

“Oh God!  No!” Sam yelled.

Mark threw her onto the couch and she immediately tried to get up to leave but he backhanded her hard across the face and she fell back onto the sofa.  He leaned over her and started undoing his pants but Carly kicked him in the groin and he fell over onto the floor.  Carly tried to make a run for it, but Mark grabbed her by the ankle and tripped her, pulling her to him.  He then started punching her in the face while they were still on the floor.

Sam could only look on in horror as Mark continued to beat her until her face was bloody and then he started to rip her clothes off.

“Damn it!” Sam yelled as she gripped her face in horror, “stop this!  Stop it!!!”  Tears spilled down her face, and Cam then suddenly teleported them away to the park that Carly and Sam used to go to; the very same one they had been ice skating on just hours ago, except it was sunny and warm out with kids running and playing.  Cam led her over to a bench and sat her down as Sam began to sob uncontrollably.  “I-I can’t…” Sam trailed off as she cried and tried to breathe.  She felt helpless not being able to rescue Carly.  “Please!” she begged.  “No more!”

Cam just let her cry it out as she rubbed Sam’s back soothingly.  After a good 20 minutes, Sam finally began to calm and wiped her face with her coat sleeve.  She took a few deep breaths and cleared her throat.  “I…I know this is all my fault,” Sam said.  “For not being there.”

“Sam…this isn’t…” Cam just trailed off, unsure how to comfort her.  “I have only one more thing to show you.  Of your non-birth.”  Sam nodded, ready to be done with it.  Cam placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and they were carried away.

They landed in a cemetery.  The sky was a dark gray and the chilly wind blew, scattering dead, fallen leaves all around them.  “No,” Sam mumbled, her face crumbling again in despair.  Her eyes threated to spill more tears as she began following Cam through the tombstones.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Cam said for the dozenth time since they’d met.  “This isn’t going to be easy.  But you need to see the truth.”

They finally stopped at a tombstone that was set partially under an old oak tree, stripped bare of its leaves.  And Sam dropped to her knees when she saw the name.

“No!  Oh, God, no!!” Sam howled in agony.

There, on the tombstone, it read:

Carlotta “Carly” Shay

Loving Daughter and Sister

July 24^th, 1994 – November 2^nd, 2019

There’s was no holding the tears back.  Cam could only watch as Sam bawled her eyes out and her whole body shook uncontrollably.  “S-She was only 25!  How did this happen?!” Sam asked, her face red as she wept.

“Shortly after…what we just saw,” Cam began hesitantly, “Carly was murdered.”

Sam gasped loudly in shock, “Murdered?!  Who would want to murder Carly?!”

“It was her abusive boyfriend, Mark,” Cam replied.  Sam felt white hot rage boiling inside her.  “Carly was reluctant to go to the police about the abuse and the sexual assaults,” Cam continued, “since it was her word against his and the fact that they had both been into drugs.  She was worried that Mark would somehow turn it back around on her and get her arrested.  So, she kept quiet about it, but she eventually tried to break up with him and he got so enraged that he beat her and then strangled her to death.  He’s currently serving a life sentence in Washington State Prison.”

Sam squeezed her eyes shut as more tears slipped down her face and she groaned in anguish.  She eventually fell to the ground on her side, her eyes turning blank as she stared at the gravestone in shock.  Cam knelt down beside her and rubbed her back but didn’t try to move her.

“Do you see now?” Cam asked gently.  “How much of a difference you made?  In, not just Carly’s life, but all of theirs?”  Sam just remained silent as she continued to stare at Carly’s name on the headstone.  She felt hollow inside and numb.  She had stopped crying several minutes prior.  She had run dry and her body felt exhausted.  She soon started shaking again, but this time, it was more from the cold than her grief.

Cam soon realized that Sam was quietly mumbling something and she leaned over her to hear better.

“Cupcake…is…gone.  Cupcake is…dead,” Sam mumbled barely over a whisper.  She kept repeating it over and over, like she couldn’t fathom this turn of events and her mind was trying to make her understand.  Cameron’s heart broke for her and she couldn’t hold back her own tears.  They stayed that way for a long while, Sam curled up on the ground with Cam kneeling behind her, trying to comfort her.

It finally started to snow and the memory of kissing Carly just hours earlier at the park popped into Sam’s mind as she felt the cold tinge of snowflakes on her face.  She realized how good she’d had it and she threw it all away.  If only she could go back to that moment and stay with Carly.  If only she decided not to get in the car with her mother and leave Carly to get mugged on the way home.  If only she had insisted on walking Carly home.  She never would have been mugged.  Freddie never would have started that fight.  She never would have left to go home and get beaten by her mother.  She never would have even ended up at that bridge.  All these thoughts ran through Sam’s head as the snow fell around them and she began shivering even more.

“I think it’s time we left,” Cam stated solemnly.  By now, the sun had set and the temperature had dropped considerably.  She didn’t wait for a reply from Sam.  She just placed her hands on the blonde’s shoulder and then they were flying fast away from there.

They touched down on what felt like solid ground beneath their feet but Sam couldn’t see anything except her and Cam.  Everything around them was a bright white fog, as if they were standing inside a cloud.  “What’s going on?” Sam asked in a shaky voice.

“I wanted to give you a short break before I show you their futures,” Cam replied, “after your suicide.”

Sam took a deep breath and felt a calmness seep into her as Cam laid her hands on her shoulders.  She closed her eyes and continued to take deep breaths but Cam could see that Sam was still severely upset by what she just experienced.  The blonde was trying to control her emotions and hide her tears, but Cam could tell she wasn’t ready to continue yet.

“I’m gonna do something I wouldn’t normally do,” Cam finally said, wanting to help soothe Sam since the blonde looked like she needed some damage control.  “I’m gonna take you back into the past.  Your past.  For just a moment in time to let you see something you didn’t know about.  To help put you at ease before we get to the rest of tonight.  Okay?  I promise it will help.”

Sam took a steadying breath and nodded her approval.  “Okay,” Cameron said and then they were floating again.

They landed in Carly’s bedroom and the brunette was sitting at her desk, happily writing in her journal.

“When is this?” Sam asked, wiping away her remaining tears.

“This was just the day before the mugging happened,” Cam replied.  “In your reality.”

They watched as Carly looked up from her notebook for a moment with an enamored look on her face and then dreamily stared off into space with a smile on her face, chewing mindlessly on the end of her pen.

“She looks so…happy,” Sam voiced.

“I’d say, more like smitten,” Cam replied with a grin.

“I wonder what she’s thinking about,” Sam pondered.

“Go ahead, take at look at her journal entry,” Cam said and the blonde went over to read what Carly had just written.

Dear Journal,

Sam makes me soooo happy!  Just being around her puts me at ease and makes me smile.  When I’m near her, I get this warm fuzzy feeling inside.  She’s always made me happy but ever since we almost died on the window washers’ platform, I’ve never felt closer to her and more in love.  We had been fighting about something stupid but after we almost died and were finally pulled to safety, all I cared about was being in her arms.  I never want to fight with her or be without her ever again.  She means so much to me.  I love her so much.  I can’t imagine being with anyone else.

That night after being rescued, we got back together and made love for the first time.  It was so incredible!  I had no idea it could be that amazing.  I love Sam so much and being able to share myself with her just felt so right!  And I know she felt the same way afterwards.  She’s coming over later today to spend the night, and tomorrow we are going ice skating.  I can’t wait!  It’s going to be so much fun.  I’m gonna ask Sam to spend the holidays with me again like she did last year.  I hope she doesn’t already have plans.

The journal entry ended there.  Carly was still staring off into space with a smile, thinking about Sam.  The blonde took a step back and stared at Carly with longing.  She wanted to hold her so badly, she ached.  But she also felt so loved and appreciated.  And she realized how good she is for Carly.  She hadn’t been expecting that.  She wanted to make things right.

“Do you feel calmer now?” Cam asked and Sam nodded.  “Are you ready to continue?”

“Yes, let’s do this,” Sam said with determination.  Cam approached her and grabbed her shoulders and then they were flying again.  Sam was filled with purpose but she was also afraid of what Cam would show her.

As they flew, Cam asked her, “Do you want me to show you the good first or the bad?”

“There’s good?” Sam asked.  “Something good came from my suicide?”

Cam nodded, “One thing.  Well, one thing that turned into a huge thing actually.  And spiraled outward.”

“Okay, show me the good first then,” Sam replied.  “You have me intrigued.”

They landed in front of a nice-looking building in a big city.  There was a pride flag above the glass door.  “Where are we?” Sam asked, confused.  This was not what she had been expecting.

“Portland, Maine,” Cam replied.  “After your suicide, your sister Mel, moved here and went to college.  After she graduated, she started a non-profit organization to help homeless LGBT youths.”  Sam gazed at her in surprise.  “Your death really affected her, Sam,” she went on.  “She missed you so much.  But she decided to turn it into something good.  She wanted to help people and prevent other teens from taking their lives the way you did.”

They walked up the short stairway and entered the building.  The lady at the front desk answered a ringing phone and greeted, “Sam Puckett Foundation.  How may I direct your call?”

“She named it after me?!” Sam asked in surprise.

“Of course, Sam,” Cam answered.  “Melanie loves you.”

Everywhere she looked, Sam saw nice, smiling people walking here and there and others talking to a group of kids in the next room.  Several people hurried to catch up with their group and then entered a room through two large double doors.  Cam and Sam followed them into a giant auditorium and Sam realized that Mel was up on the stage giving a speech about her.  Sam noted that she looked to be in her late 20s, maybe early 30s.  Up on the screen was a slideshow of pictures of Sam.  The way Melanie spoke about her, made Sam’s eyes start to water.  She sounded so proud of Sam, yet sad at the same time.

She gave a quick recount of Sam’s life and the troubles she faced growing up with an abusive, alcoholic mother and being kicked out of her home.  And although Sam had friends and a girlfriend who cared about her very much, she still ended up taking her own life, thereby negatively affecting her loved ones.  Melanie also spoke of how strong, loyal, and confident Sam was and how she looked out for her loved ones.

“If only my sister, Sam, had had more support from me and other family members, her death could have been avoided,” Mel closed out her speech.  “But it won’t be in vain.  Here at the Sam Puckett Foundation, we continue our work of suicide prevention and crisis intervention for all youths who come to our doorstep.  Thank you all for your support and I hope you will continue to aid us in the coming years.”

The crowd cheered as she stepped off the stage and began shaking people’s hands.  As she exited the room, several adults and teens came up to thank her and tell her how Sam’s story had changed their lives for the better in one way or another.

“I can’t believe how grown up she looks,” Sam murmured as she watched her sister interact with the people.  “I hope she didn’t blame herself for my suicide.”

“I knew you would focus on that comment she made,” Cam said.  “She did feel guilty for a long time, feeling like she could have done more to be there for you.  She felt bad about leaving you alone with your mother while she was off at boarding school.  But she took a horrible event and has been trying to turn it into a positive.  And she has for so many people.”

Sam looked at her with pride in her eyes.  “She seems like she’ll turn out okay.”

“She will,” Cam replied.  “As much as anyone can hope for.  She’ll eventually meet her soulmate and get married and start a family.  But she’ll always have that hole in her heart where you should be.  Even though she’s done the best she can, she’ll still always have that sadness of losing you.”

Cam put her hand on Sam’s shoulder and they were flying again.  “As I told you…there was only one good thing to come from your death and that was it.”

Sam gulped, knowing she was in for a world of darkness.  They landed in a hospital room, directly at the foot of Pam’s hospital bed.  She was unconscious and no one else was around.  “Oh, God,” Sam murmured.  Her mother looked gaunt and sickly.  “What happened to her?”

“After the police showed up on her door telling her that you’d jumped from the Aurora Bridge, she went and drank herself unconscious.  When she woke up the next morning, she was so upset about beating you and kicking you out.  She couldn’t deal with her grief because she blamed herself for your suicide.  That morning after she woke up, she just kept drinking and drinking.  And I mean, the hard stuff.  She drank so much that she ended up in a coma.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.  “No, mom,” Sam murmured sadly.  She gazed at her face and listened to the steady sound of the machines keeping her alive.  She tried to take her hand but of course, her fingers slipped right through her mothers.  “Will she ever wake up?”

“No,” Cam muttered sadly.  “She will eventually pass away after being unconscious for a few weeks.”

Sam sniffled and wiped her eyes, “Poor Mel.  She lost us both.”  She felt Cam gently place her hand on her shoulder and they were suddenly brought to their next destination.

They landed in a nice-looking apartment and Sam immediately noticed the sculptures around the place.  “Spencer!” Sam said.  “This is Spencer’s future.”  Cam nodded.  “But why isn’t he living at the Bushwell?”

“He moved to Vancouver and continued to be an artist,” Cam explained.  Just then Spencer walked through the front door, carrying bags of supplies and kicked the door shut behind him.  He carried the bags into the living room and plopped them down.  Sam noted that he looked quite a bit older, in his 40s.

“He lives a quiet life,” Cam continued, “and sells enough of his sculptures to get by.  But he never married and keeps to himself mostly.  He doesn’t go out with friends or have any kind of a social life.”

Sam watched as Spencer sat down on the living room sofa and just stared off into space.  “Why does he seem so different?” Sam asked.  “He seems…changed.”

“He is,” Cam replied.  “After he lost you and Carly, he moved away because he just couldn’t stay in their old apartment anymore.  The memories were too much for him.  He’s not his usually happy, goofy self.  He never will be again.”

Something Cam had said made Sam’s heart race.  “What do you mean, ‘after he lost me and Carly’?  When did he lose Carly?  Recently?  How did he lose her?  She’s not…dead, is she?”  Cam just remained silent as she grimly stared back at Sam.  “Cam?”

“I have to show you Freddie first,” was all Cameron said as they started to float away.

They touched down in front of a drab old building.  The sign out front said, “Seattle Mental Hospital.”

“Oh, this can’t be good,” Sam said.  “Freddie ended up here?”

They began floating through the walls of the hospital and stopped in front of Freddie, who appeared to still be in his teens but slightly older than Sam was used to, possibly 18 or 19.  He was sitting on a couch in a common room area staring vacantly at the TV.  But his eyes indicated that he was gone somewhere else.  He was dressed in white sweats, as were the other patients in the facility.  Sam glanced around at all the other patients sitting at various tables and lounge chairs.  They all seemed to be in a similar state.

“He looks so doped up,” Sam noted.

“He is,” Cam replied bluntly.  “He’s on a variety of medications.”

Drool dripped down from Freddie’s mouth as he continued to stare off into space.  His eyes were glazed, drooped almost closed and they were empty.

“What the hell happened to him?” Sam asked in confusion, feeling sympathy for him.

“He blamed himself for your suicide,” Cam answered.  Sam tore her eyes away from Freddie and looked at Cam, not believing what she was hearing.  “Yes,” Cam went on, “he felt guilty about what he did to you; causing Carly’s mugging and your suicide.  He blamed himself for all of it.  And especially what happened to Carly afterwards.”

Cam paused as Sam’s eyes snapped over to hers.  “What happened to her?”

“Not yet,” was all Cam said.

“Come on!  You gotta tell me!” Sam growled in annoyance.

“I will,” Cam replied.  “But I need to show you.”

Sam gave a frustrated sigh.  “Fine,” she replied.  “How did Freddie get here?”

“He was so distraught…about what I’m going to show you, that he tried to kill himself.”

“Oh, shit!”

“Yeah, he became withdrawn and troubled after it happened, blaming himself.  He couldn’t handle the tornado of emotions swirling around inside him so he took a bottle of sleeping pills.  He didn’t want to live anymore.  His mother found him before he could slip away and called an ambulance.  They were able to save him, but he ended up in the mental ward and was put on suicide watch.”

Sam continued to stare at the vacant Freddie as Cam told his story and she began to feel sorry for him.

“He started to make progress after a few weeks and was released back to his mother.  But he attempted suicide again and he landed back in here.  He’s tried several more times since he’s been in here.  He’s slowly making himself go crazy with the bad thoughts and all the medication they’ve put him on trying to help him.  He’ll end up here long term.  It’s very unlikely that he’ll ever get out and live a normal life.  He just can’t come to terms with what he did.”

“Poor Freddie,” Sam mumbled.  She didn’t want this for him.  No matter how much they fought, she didn’t wish this on anyone.  The room had gone quiet and everything around them faded to black.  Sam knew what was coming.

Cam sighed heavily, “This is it.  Are you ready?”

“No, but do I have a choice?” Sam replied, feeling her anxiety build.

Cam took her hand and Sam squeezed back.  Then they faded out of the room.  They reappeared in Carly’s bedroom.  Sam saw that it looked the same as the last time she had been there and that Carly was asleep in her bed.  The early morning light was just starting to break.  The first thing Sam noticed was that Carly had Sam’s leather jacket draped over her pillow so that she could breathe in her scent and it made her heart ache at the sight.

“When is this?” Sam asked.  So far, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

“The morning after your suicide,” Cam replied.

“Oh, wow,” Sam muttered, not expecting it to be so close to the present.  Sam’s eyes drifted up to the painting of them that Spencer made for her last Christmas.  It was hanging on the wall at the head of the bed.  Sam smiled at the wintery wonderland scenes.  The painting portrayed one of the best days of Sam’s life.  The day she and Carly first kissed and became a couple.  She walked closer to Carly and sat down on the edge of her bed and realized that she was clutching the framed photo collage that Sam had made her for Christmas last year to her chest.  “She’s so beautiful,” Sam murmured without realizing she’d spoken out loud.  But Sam could see how red and puffy her eyes looked and her face was still tear-stained.

Then Sam saw her bracelet on her wrist.  “She’s wearing my bracelet,” Sam noted out loud, “the one she made me for Christmas last year.”  Then she checked her own wrist to see that it was bare.  “How did she get it?”

“It fell off your wrist when you jumped into the water to save me,” Cam answered.  “One of the search and rescue divers found it and gave it to her before she went home for the night.”

The brunette started to stir in her sleep and she stretched as her eyes fluttered open.

“She looks exhausted,” Sam noted, “like she’s been crying all night.”

“She didn’t get much sleep.  She tossed and turned all night,” Cam input.

Carly safely set the photo collage aside on the bed and blankly gazed out the window at the gray sky, feeling numb.  She missed Sam so much, she didn’t know how she was going to continue on.  She felt like part of her soul had been ripped out.  She eventually sat up and pulled the covers away as she swung her legs off the side of the bed.  Sam watched, heartbroken, as Carly shuffled to her en-suite bathroom.

The blonde followed her in and watched as Carly just stared at her reflection in the mirror.  Her expression was blank as she gripped the countertop in both hands.  But after a few seconds, her face crumbled in sadness and she began sobbing profusely.  Sam’s heart broke all over again.  She couldn’t believe she’d done this to her.  I’ve broken her, Sam thought as she reached out to touch her shoulder but her hand went right through her.  All she wanted was to hold her and tell her she was still here and that everything was going to be alright.  But she couldn’t.  All she could do was watch Carly break down and cry.  The sound of her sobs was shattering Sam’s heart.  She wanted to take it all back.  She didn’t care about her fight with Freddie or getting beaten by her mother and getting kicked out of her home.  She just wanted to be with Carly and make everything right.

Tears started streaming down Sam’s face as she watched Carly continue to cry and shake.  “I’m so sorry, Cupcake,” Sam whispered.  “I wish I could take it all back.”

After a few minutes, Carly’s sobs started to quiet down and she abruptly started rummaging through the bathroom drawers under the sink.  She quickly found a pair of scissors and then shut the drawer.  She opened them and held one of the blades to her inner wrist.

“Carly, no!” Sam sobbed out in fear.  “Please, don’t do this!”

The brunette started to press down on her skin but her eyes caught sight of Sam’s bracelet on her wrist and she hesitated.  The bracelet was only an inch away from the blade.  Carly let out an anguished cry and threw the scissors across the small room into the tub.  She couldn’t bring herself to bleed all over Sam’s bracelet.  She quickly opened the medicine cabinet and her eyes landed on the bottle of sleeping pills she got last year when the stress of exams was making it hard for her to sleep.

She went back into her room and grabbed an empty glass that Freddie had left on her bedside table for her when he brought her some pain meds the night before.  Then she quickly went back into the bathroom and filled the glass with water from the sink.  Then she opened the pill bottle and dumped them all out on the countertop.  Tossing the empty pill bottle into her bedroom, she picked up a pill and stared at it.

“Cupcake, please!” Sam sobbed as tears continued to stream down her cheeks.  “I’m so sorry.  Please stop!  Don’t do this!”

Carly hesitated and then glanced at herself in the mirror.  “I’m sorry, Sam,” she whispered.  “I need to be with you.”

Sam started screaming and beating her fists on the walls as Carly started taking the pills one by one.  But, of course, no one could hear her tormented cries.  She begged and pleaded with Carly to stop, but she didn’t.  After Carly had taken every single pill, she stumbled into her room, kicking the empty pill bottle to the side as she went, and collapsed onto her bed.  Her vision was starting to blur as she got drowsier and drowsier.  She silently begged the universe that she would wake up and find Sam.

The blonde fell to her knees next to the bed, her face just inches from Carly’s head that was hanging off the side.  “Please let me find her,” Carly whispered as her eyes glazed over a bit.

“Cupcake!” Sam sobbed, wishing with all her heart she could save her or hold her or touch her face.  “I wish I could take it all back!”

Carly’s eyes fluttered closed and she gave one last exhale, and Sam cried even harder, squeezing her eyes shut.  She stayed that way for a what seemed like a long while, her back leaning against the side of the bed, panting and crying on the floor next to Carly’s lifeless body.  Sam wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she finally heard Spencer softly knock on Carly’s door.

“Spencer!” Sam hollered out, hoping that he would somehow hear her and come help.

Wanting to check on his sister but not wanting to wake her, Spencer quietly opened the bedroom door and his eyes weren’t sure what they were seeing at first.  Something didn’t seem right with the way Carly was laying on the bed.  Then his eyes caught sight of the open and empty pill bottle on the floor.

“Carly!” Spencer yelled out in panic.  “Oh god, no!”  He raced over to her and began shaking her, trying to wake her.  When she didn’t stir at all, he quickly checked for a pulse and, not finding one, dragged her onto the floor and started CPR.

“Come on, Spencer!” Sam encouraged as more tears streamed down her face.  “Please, save her!”

Spencer pulled out his cell and dialed 911 and placed it on the floor after turning on speaker phone mode so he could continue to do compressions as he called.  The operator came on the line and asked what the emergency was.  Spencer hollered out their address and a drug overdose as he continued to administer CPR.  Then the dispatcher said that an ambulance was on the way and to continue doing compressions.

Sam kept crying as she watched Spencer try to save her but he was getting tired and he started sobbing as well.  But he kept up with the compressions until the paramedics got there.  They took over for him as he crumbled to the floor and sobbed openly.  Sam sat next to him and they both watched the medics work on her.  They did everything they could but, in the end, it was just too late.  They’d lost her.

“I’m sorry,” one of the paramedics said as they wheeled her body away on a stretcher.

Spencer looked exactly how Sam felt.  Shattered.  Destroyed.  Cam reappeared next to Sam as she sat on the floor and the blonde had just now realized that Cam had left during Carly’s death.  The angel placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder but she didn’t say anything.

After a few moments, Spencer finally got up and staggered out of the room, following Carly and the paramedics out.  “This is why Freddie tried to kill himself with sleeping pills,” Sam voiced in a quiet, shaky tone, and Cam nodded.  “He blamed himself for both of our deaths.  Carly would have never done it if I hadn’t jumped off the bridge.  This is why Spencer had to leave Seattle.”  Her voice sounded monotone.  She took a deep breath and released it.  “This isn’t Freddie’s fault.  It’s mine.”

Cam stood and held out her hand for Sam to take.  Sam grabbed her hand and shakily got to her feet.  They were the only two left in Carly’s room as it began to melt away all around them and then they were standing back on the playground where Carly and Sam first met, only no one else was around and it was a cold, snowy night.

“It’s time for you to make your choice, Sam,” Cam said grimly.  “Do I grant your wish to never have been born or do I let you die in the lake?  Do I go back and not intervene?  Do I let you kill yourself?”

“I can’t make that choice!” Sam sobbed, devastated.

“You have to,” Cam insisted in a serious tone.  “I’ve shown you exactly what will happen for each scenario.  And it’s time for you to choose.”

“But Carly dies, no matter what I choose,” Sam whispered in anguish and Cam merely nodded.  “And they all turn out horribly.  Spencer, Freddie, Mom.  How can I choose?”

“Your actions have consequences, Sam,” Cam replied.  “Everything you do affects the people you love.  You don’t get to just throw your life away without destroying someone else’s.  Do you see now?  How much they all loved you?  How much they still love you?  Do you see how much they need you?”

Sam nodded as the tears continued to silently slip down her face.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I need your answer, Sam.”

The blonde opened her eyes and quietly, but firmly, said, “I choose…Carly.”  Cam remained stoic, waiting for Sam to continue.  “I choose for her to live.  I choose to take it all back.  I choose to live!”  She said it resolutely and definitively.

A smile slowly spread across Cam’s face, hoping that Sam would make the right choice and she did.  The third option that wasn’t on the table.  “Well, you’re in luck,” the Christmas angel said, “because, fortunately, I’m able to grant wishes around the holidays.  And since you wished to ‘take it all back’ as you watched Carly die, I’m able to make it happen.”

“What?” Sam asked in surprise, not expecting Cam to oblige.  Suddenly, huge, beautiful white feathered wings formed on Cam’s back and she flapped them happily as if stretching after being cramped for a long time. 

“Holy chiz!” Sam exclaimed, her eyes going wide.

“I finally got my wings!” Cam replied in delight with a huge smile on her face.  “Thanks to you, Sam!”

Sam chuckled, “Glad I could help.”

“Now,” the angel said as she clapped her hands on Sam’s shoulders firmly.  “Time to get moving!”  Then they were off flying through Seattle, the cold wind stinging their faces as the snow flew past them.  Cam maneuvered Sam so that she had ahold of her properly.  Her arms were wrapped around Sam’s torso under her arms.

“Whoa!!” Sam hollered out, holding on tightly to Cam’s arms, “where are we going?!”

The morning light began to break, causing the overcast sky to turn from black to gray.  “I’m taking you back,” was all Cam said, her beautiful wings flapping freely.  Sam got to see all of Seattle once again from above and excitement filled her.  She was in awe of everything, the snow, the flying, the city.

They finally touched down on the very bridge Sam had jumped from and the blonde let out a gasp, relieved to be on solid ground again.  Cam tucked her wings in close to her back.  Sam glanced all around and then asked, “When are we?”

“It’s the next morning,” Cam answered with a smile.  “After you jumped in to save me.”

Sam’s eyes widened, “You mean, we’ve only been gone for one night?”  She was shocked.  It had felt like she had been gone for days.  Realization dawned on her.  “I still have time!  To save Carly!  And all of them!”

Cam nodded, smiling.  Sam suddenly pulled Cam into a tight hug, startling the angel.  “Thank you, so much!  I-I…don’t even know what to say!”  She pulled back with tears brimming her eyes.

“You have a second chance, Sam,” Cameron replied.  “Don’t waste it.  And don’t throw away the greatest gift we’re given.  Life.  And a chance at love.”  Sam nodded as she wiped her tears away, smiling.  “Love yourself, Sam,” Cam said, “that’s the love we always forget about.”

“Thank you,” Sam said again.

“You’re welcome,” Cam replied.  “Oh!  And when you get back, you’ll find an extra gift from me.”

“What is it?” Sam asked.

“You’ll see,” was all Cam said and then winked at her.  “Now, hurry along!  You’ve got places to get and people to save!”

“Right!  Bye!” Sam said and then she was off, running across the bridge as fast as she could while Cam watched her and smiled even bigger.  Then she disappeared with the wind.

Sam had never felt so determined in all her life as she pumped her legs faster than she’d ever pushed them before, her breath coming out in white puffs of condensation in the frosty air.  She had a smile on her face but only for the first few minutes.  As the morning became brighter, she was reminded that she had only minutes before Carly would wake up and take a bottle of sleeping pills.

Back in Carly’s room

The brunette stirred in her sleep and stretched as her eyes fluttered open.  She’d just had the strangest dream about Sam.  The scent of Sam’s leather jacket filled her nose and she breathed it in.  She’d slept with the jacket on her pillow, hoping it would bring some comfort but she had only succeeded in crying all over it.  She was still clutching the framed photo collage of her and Sam that she had fallen asleep with.  Setting it aside on the bed, she gazed out the window at the snow coming down.  Her eyes were red and puffy and she felt exhausted.  She felt empty as she pulled the covers away and swung her legs over the side of the bed.  Dread began to fill her as she mindlessly shuffled into her ensuite bathroom.

As Sam ran down Aurora Avenue, the snow was coming down much faster now and she passed by Thomas Wales Park.  She realized she wasn’t going to make it in time on foot and panic began to set in.  Then her eyes landed on a carriage parked nearby that was attached by a couple of horses.  A man had just finished hitching up the carriage.  Sam smiled.  This was perfect timing.  She’d seen him around the city before offering sleigh rides to people for an obscene amount of money.  The man huffed in the cold air as he hopped down off the carriage and grabbed his pack off a nearby bench.  Just as he turned back around to his carriage, it took off; his horses neighing loudly as he saw long blonde hair blowing in the wind from the coach box.

“Hey, come back here!” he shouted at Sam as she whipped the reins to make the horses go faster, making the sleigh bells ring out.

Carly gripped the bathroom countertop in both hands and stared blankly at her reflection in the mirror.  Seconds later, she burst into tears.  She didn’t know how she still had any left after the night she had.  She wept until her lungs burned and her vision was blurry.  She’d never felt this alone in her entire life.

Sam had never ridden a horse before or commandeered a carriage, but she had never been this determined before either.  She pulled the carriage onto Westlake Avenue and flicked the reins again, pushing the horses faster.  If she pulled this off, she hoped she wouldn’t be arrested for grand theft horse and carriage.  And if she did get there in time, would Carly be furious with her?  Would she slap her and tell her she never wanted to see her again for doing something so selfish?  She shook her head.  She couldn’t think about that.  All that mattered was saving Carly.  Whatever happened after that was up to the brunette.  Please don’t let me be too late!

Carly sighed as she calmed herself and wiped her face.  Then she started abruptly rummaging through the drawers under the sink.  After pulling out a pair of scissors, she slammed the drawer shut and then held one of the blades to her inner wrist.  Pressing down into her skin, her eyes flicked to Sam’s bracelet just an inch from the blade and she hesitated.  Her memory flipped back to last Christmas and she saw the look on Sam’s face in her mind’s eye when she gave her this gift.  The brunette had worked on the bracelet for weeks leading up to the holidays.  She had been so excited to give it to Sam.  And the blonde had tears in her eyes after she opened it.  The words Carly and Sam Forever stared back up at her, taunting her.  She cried out in anguish as she threw the scissors into the tub.  She couldn’t cut herself and bleed all over Sam’s bracelet.

She quickly opened the medicine cabinet and her eyes landed on the bottle of sleeping pills she got last year when the stress of exams was making it hard for her to sleep.  She grabbed it and set it on the counter after slamming the medicine cabinet shut.  Then she marched back into her bedroom for the glass she left on her nightstand.

Sam passed by the Groovy Smoothie and then yanked hard on the reins to slow the horses.  The carriage skidded to a halt right in front of the Bushwell Plaza.  She hopped off the carriage and ran into the lobby.  Luckily, Lewbert was asleep at the front desk with a newspaper draped over his face and chest as he was reclined in his chair.  Doesn’t the Bushwell have any other doormen? Sam wondered as she entered the elevator and pushed the button for the eighth floor.  Or does Lewbert work 24/7?

Panic was setting in as she ascended the levels of the building.  She feared she wouldn’t make it in time or that it was already too late.  Would she find Carly passed out on her bed after having taken all the pills?

Carly had just filled her glass and dumped out all the sleeping pills onto the countertop, then tossed the empty bottle into her room.  She picked one of the pills up and stared at it.  Hesitating, she glanced at herself in the mirror.  “I’m sorry, Sam,” she whispered sadly.  “I need to be with you.”

Just as she was about to put the pill in her mouth, she heard the sound of her bedroom door swing open with force and hit the wall with a bang.  She swung around in shock and her eyes weren’t believing what they were seeing.

“Cupcake!” Sam cried out desperately, her eyes wide and her chest heaving as she panted heavily.

“S-SAM?!” Carly stuttered in surprise as she stumbled out of the bathroom.

They ran towards each other and their bodies slammed together as they embraced fiercely, their arms immediately going around one another.  Carly thought she’d finally lost it.  She was hallucinating Sam, but she didn’t care.  She would take a delusion over nothing.  She felt too happy to come to her senses.  They were both panting in shock and Carly heard Sam silently whisper, “Thank you” in her ear.  She didn’t know who Sam was thanking but it didn’t matter.  Carly finally pulled back a few inches to look at her face and cupped Sam’s cheek in her hand, still not believing that Sam was actually here.  This hallucination seemed real enough.  Sam had the cuts and bruises on her face from her fight with Freddie and her beating from her mom the night before.

“Are you real?” Carly sobbed out with tears streaming down her face.

A small grin spread across Sam’s face.  “Yes, Cupcake.  I’m real,” she replied.  The blonde gently traced Carly’s bruised eye from the mugging the night before.  She was finding it just as hard to believe she was actually back in reality and Carly was okay.

They wasted no more time.  Their lips crashed together in a ravenous, desperate kiss and they clung to each other as if the other were a life ring.  Their lips rolled together urgently for several wonderful moments, each drinking in the presence of the other.  Carly’s hands roamed about Sam’s body as they kissed as if she were making sure this was really Sam.  She wasn’t sure she could trust her own senses after seeing Sam jump off the bridge the night before.  The blonde groaned at the feeling of her girlfriend’s hands all over her and she began to caress her in return, her hands lovingly raking down her back and sides, earning a moan from Carly.

Eventually, they pulled apart a couple of inches for air, each of them taking deep breaths and staring deeply into each other’s eyes.

After several moments of silence, Carly finally spoke, “I saw you jump off the bridge.  I saw you go into the water and not come back up.”  Sam just stayed silent as she panted for air.  “How are you alive?” Carly finally asked.  “And…shouldn’t your clothes be soaking wet?”  She gripped Sam’s hoodie and realized that she was completely dry.  Even if Sam had come out of the lake hours ago, she would still be damp since she was still in the same clothes.

Sam chuckled, “I…have a lot to tell you, Cupcake.”  Carly finally smiled back, realization settling in that this was indeed Sam.  “But first, I need to borrow your phone real quick.”

Carly’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, “Huh?”

There was one more person Sam needed to save in the nick of time and she was pretty sure her phone was dead from her swim in Lake Union.

Mrs. Puckett woke up on the couch.  She’d passed out the night before after drinking herself asleep.  She groaned as she sat up.  She’d never felt this low before.  She’s always had a strained relationship with her daughter but after the police had told her Sam had killed herself, she’d wanted to take it all back.  She felt so guilty about beating her and kicking her out of the house.  She knew it was her fault.  She groaned again as she stood up and staggered into the kitchen.  She opened the fridge and her eyes landed on a bottle of whiskey.  Why not keep drinking? she thought.  She figured it might just finish her off and she wouldn’t have to feel anything anymore.  She didn’t think she could live with herself for killing her daughter.  How will I tell Melanie?

She thought back to what had started the fight in the first place.  So what if Sam was gay? Pam thought in regret.  She knew Sam didn’t deserve this.  She’d do anything to take it back.  To be able to go back and make different choices.  She didn’t care about Sam slapping her or arguing with her.  She didn’t care that Sam had a girlfriend.  Or caused her to waste tons of money on her teacher’s car for pulling that prank.  She just wanted her daughter back alive.

Pam unscrewed the bottle of whiskey and was just about to take a swig when she heard her phone ringing.  Setting the bottle down, she answered the phone.

“Hello?” Pam greeted with a slur.

“Mom?!” Sam’s voice came over the other end.

“SAM?!” Pam asked in surprise.  “Is that really you?!”

“Yeah, mom, it’s me,” Sam replied in relief.

“Oh, God, Sammy!  The police told me you were dead!  And I…I…” she trailed off with tears streaming down her face.  “I’m so sorry,” she sobbed out.

“I know, mom,” Sam cried on the other end.

“I’m so glad you’re alive!  Are you okay?  Where are you?”

“I’m over at Carly’s right now.  I’m okay.”

“How are you alive?  I thought…” she trailed off again.  “Look, Sammy, I’m sorry for what I did to you.  I never should have done it.  If you can forgive me…I’d like for you to come back home.”

“Mom…we have a lot to talk about.  And…I want to come home and tell you all about it.  But I have some things I need to do before I can do that.  And…we have a long way to go before…I can trust you again.”

“I know, Sammy.  I’m sorry.”

“I promise, I’ll explain everything later but for right now, can you promise me something?”

“Sure, Sammy, anything.”

“Promise me you won’t have any more to drink today.”

“What are you…?”

“Just promise me, mom.  Okay?  I want to tell you everything but I need you to be sober.  And…I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore either.”

“Okay, I promise.  Will you be home today?”

“Not today.  Probably tomorrow.  I need to let everyone know I’m not dead and that includes the cops.  But, in the meantime, get yourself cleaned up and ready to hear what I have to say.”

“Okay, Sammy, I will.  And I won’t drink any more today or tomorrow.  I promise.  As long as you promise not to…you know…again.”  Sam could hear the concern in her mother’s voice.  She was worried Sam might try to commit suicide again.

“Trust me, mom,” Sam said as she stared Carly in the eyes, “I have every intention of staying alive now.”  And the brunette smiled as she stared right back.  She could hear everything Mrs. Puckett was saying over the phone.

“This is so strange,” Pam added, “I had the weirdest dream about you and then I wake up to your call.”

“Oh, really?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Pam replied.

There was some more back and forth between the two of them as Carly watched Sam.  Hearing Mrs. Puckett mention dreaming about Sam over the phone made her remember her own dream about the blonde.

“Okay…see you tomorrow…bye, mom,” and then Sam hung up the phone.  She was relieved she’d called in time to keep her mom from drinking herself into a coma that she would never wake up from.  Sam handed Carly’s phone back to her.  And now it was the moment of truth.  How on earth am I gonna tell Carly what happened? she thought.

“Your mom had a weird dream about you?” Carly asked before the blonde could start her story.

“Yeah, she said she would tell me about it when I got home,” Sam replied.

“That’s so weird,” Carly said with a grin.  “I woke up this morning from the wildest dream about you too.”

Sam’s eyebrows scrunched together, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Carly replied, “you and some girl named, Cam.”  Sam felt like she got punched in the gut.  “Only, she wasn’t just a girl,” Carly went on, “she was your Christmas angel.”

“Oh, my god!” Sam muttered in shock.

“What?” Carly asked in concern.

“That was Cam’s gift to me that she mentioned just before I ran home,” Sam mumbled.

“Wait a minute!” Carly said in shock.  “How did you know about that?  At the end of my dream, Cam said she had one last gift for you and that you would see what it was when you got back.”

“Holy fuck!” Sam exclaimed, realization dawning on her.  “You all dreamed it!”

“You mean…that was all real?!” Carly asked astounded.  Sam nodded with a huge grin on her face.  “Cam jumping into the lake to save you.  I mean, so you could save her.  And she flew with you through time and space and showed you everyone lives if you had never been born?!”  Sam just nodded again.  “And then what happened if you had gone through with killing yourself?!” Carly went on, her mind reeling.

“Yes,” Sam replied.  “She let you all see what I experienced.  So, I wouldn’t have to try to explain it to you.  Or have you think I was nuts.”

“Oh, Sam!” Carly cried out and pulled her in for a hug.  “I can’t believe all of that was true!  It all really happened!  You wished that you had never been born.  Everything was so horrible!  For everyone!”  Then she pulled back to look at Sam’s face.  “If your mom dreamed it too, I wonder if that means Spencer and Freddie and even Mel dreamed it.”

“Probably,” Sam replied.  “That was nice of Cam.  It saves me the trouble.”  They were silent for several moments and then Sam added, “Carly…I’m so sorry.  About everything.  The fight with Freddie and hurting you and leaving and…the bridge.  Can you forgive me?”

Carly caressed Sam’s cheek and stared into her eyes, “Sam, there’s nothing to forgive.  I love you.  So much.  I’m just so happy you’re back.”

“I love you too,” Sam replied.

Carly smiled again and pulled her back in for another hug and they clung to each other tightly.  Happy tears started to slip down Carly’s face and she shut her eyes, breathing in Sam.  The blonde was so happy and relieved and after a few moments of hugging, she could feel Carly’s lips on her neck, causing her to gasp and her heart to start racing.

Carly placed her palm on Sam’s chest right over her heart, desperate to feel her heartbeat.  Sam wanted this to continue but something else was nagging her at the back of her mind.

“Carls…” she gulped at the way her body was responding to her girlfriend’s touch.

“Mmm?” Carly hummed against Sam’s neck.

“Before I got here…you were just about to, um…” she trailed off, not wanting to spoil the mood but worry had filled her.  She wanted to make sure Carly was okay.

Carly froze, her lips pausing against the blonde’s skin.  She pulled back to look in Sam’s eyes, knowing what she was referring to.  “That was only because I thought you were gone forever, Sam,” Carly replied, her big brown eyes looking innocent and pleading.  “I would never do that with you in my life.”

Sam sighed in relief, “I’m just really glad I made it here in time.  Are you sure you’re okay?”

Carly nodded with a ghost of a smile on her face, “You did make it here in time.  I’m okay.  I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Sam replied, “after what I put you through…”

Carly cupped Sam’s cheek, “Sam, I’m not mad at you.  I was devastated when you jumped off that bridge.  But, in the end, you did it to save someone.  But I want to make sure you’re alright.  Promise me you’ll never do something like that again.  Promise me you’ll tell me if you start to feel like that again.”

“I promise, Cupcake,” Sam replied, her deep blue eyes staring into Carly’s brown ones.  “I love you so much,” Sam added, making Carly’s heart melt.

“I love you too, Sam,” Carly replied, mesmerized by her girlfriend’s eyes.

Down in the living room, Spencer had just wandered out of his bedroom when he noticed the front door was wide open.  Sam had left it open when she burst through the door earlier.  Fear shot through the tall artist as he looked out into the hall and then shut the door, worried that someone had broken in or that Carly had left.  Then he ran upstairs to go check on his sister.

Sam reached up and caressed the brunette’s cheek and then brought her back in for another kiss.  Carly wrapped her arms around Sam’s back as the kiss continued and she was suddenly ravenous for Sam.  She kissed her back hungrily, ready to explore Sam’s body like it was the first time again.  But before they could take it any further, Spencer came running through the doorway.

“Carly?” he called out and then his eyes landed on the couple standing in the middle of the room, their lips pulling apart at his intrusion.  He nearly had to do a double take.  “Sam?!!”  He ran over and scooped them both up in a bear hug and started shaking them back and forth, relief filling him.  “Oh, my god!  We thought you were dead!” Spencer started rambling, “how…how is this possible?!  I just had the most insane dream about you and now you’re here!  It’s a Christmas miracle!”

Carly and Sam started chuckling at Spencer’s emotional state but it was getting hard for them to breathe with the way he was squeezing them.

“Um, Spence?  Can’t breathe,” Sam grunted out.

“Oh, right!  Sorry!” Spencer apologized and then let them both go.  “How is this possible?  We saw you jump off the bridge!”

“Spence?” Carly interrupted.  “We’re all really glad Sam is alive and she’ll explain everything later but…can you maybe give us a minute?  Or…maybe 500 minutes?”

Realization dawned on him and he bashfully said, “Oh, right!  Sure!  No problem.”  A blush spread across his face, knowing that they wanted some alone time and he started casually backing out of the room.  “I’ll just go start making breakfast.  No rush!  You take your time.  It’ll take me awhile.  I’m gonna make a big spread.  And Sam, you’re staying for breakfast.  And Christmas!  And New Year’s, if you want!”  Then he hastily made his exit, closing the bedroom door in the process.

“I’m so glad Spencer’s not the typical adult authority figure,” Sam mumbled with a grin.  Carly went over and locked the door so that they would have no more interruptions.  Then she turned back to Sam.  They gazed intently at each other and then quickly closed the distance between the two of them, embracing and kissing fervently.

Their hands began to roam about each other’s bodies.  Kissing, caressing and gasping.  Carly started shedding Sam of her clothes, desperate to feel her skin on her own, and in turn, Sam began undressing Carly; their lips only briefly parting when they had to take each other’s shirts off.  Once they were fully naked, they embraced again and continued exploring one another’s bodies with hands and lips; Carly sighing at finally feeling Sam’s warm, soft skin on her own.

Sam began kissing down her neck and her mouth latched onto her collarbone, sucking and gently biting.  Carly hissed in pleasure and gasped as Sam used her tongue to soothe the spot she just marked.  Carly tangled her fingers in Sam’s hair as the blonde continued down to her breasts and sucked gently.  Carly moaned as she felt lost in the sensations.  Sam then kissed all the way down Carly’s arm until she reached her wrist, the one she almost cut open earlier.  Sam kissed her inner wrist and then her lips brushed over the bracelet.  She stilled and then opened her eyes.  When Sam stopped kissing her, Carly opened her eyes to see what had caused her to pause and then realized she was staring at her bracelet.  It was the only article of clothing on her body and she reached down to take it off.

“You don’t have to…” Sam trailed off.

“It’s yours,” Carly said with a smile as she clasped it back onto Sam’s wrist.  “It sort of…saved me, in a way.  It bought us just enough time for you to come back and stop me.  When the divers gave it back to me at the lake, I thought I’d lost you forever.”

“Thanks for keeping it safe for me,” Sam muttered, looking into her eyes.

“Of course,” Carly smiled at her and then shivered.  Sam led her over to the bed and they got situated under the covers.

They held each other for several minutes, just enjoying the feel of the other’s skin.  Carly rested her hand over Sam’s heart, relishing in the familiar comforting beat.  They slowly began their soft kisses and caresses all over, taking their time with their lovemaking.  There was no need to rush.  They had all the time in the world.  They had the rest of their lives.  Once Carly was satisfied at kissing Sam all over her face, arms, breasts, and stomach, Sam rolled over onto her and the brunette wrapped her legs around the blonde’s waist.  They began to move together as one, each moaning in relief at the contact.

Sam gasped at the wonderful feeling of Carly’s slick body against hers as she looked her deeply in the eyes.  She wanted to be with Carly forever.  To take care of her, love her, and make her happy for the rest of their lives.  And she knew Carly felt the same way.  The brunette smiled, seeing only love in Sam’s eyes.  Their bodies writhed together in a fiery, passionate dance, building the tension until they finally brought each other to their peak, both of them crashing over the edge together as they stared into one another’s eyes; moaning and panting heavily.  Sam slowed her rocking and then rested her head on Carly’s chest, trying to catch her breath and taking comfort in Carly’s beating heart.  After they came back down from their high, Sam rolled off her, and Carly cuddled up close to her girlfriend, kissing her temple.

They laid there wrapped around each other under the covers and cuddled, kissed, and caressed until they began to get sleepy.  They ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms as the snow continued to fall outside the windows; the morning sky a dark gray.

Downstairs, Spencer had just gotten off the phone with the search and rescue team, letting them know they could call off the search and that Sam was home safe and sound.  They said an officer would be coming by later to make sure Sam was actually okay so they could close out their case, but Spencer made sure to make the appointment for later in the afternoon.  He had a feeling Carly and Sam wouldn’t be coming downstairs any time soon.  After Spencer hung up the phone, he went across the hall and knocked on the Bensons’ door.

A disheveled looking Freddie answered the door still wearing his clothes from the night before.  “Hey, Freddie,” Spencer greeted in a calm tone.

“Hey,” Freddie greeted back unenthusiastically.  His eyes were red and puffy from crying all night.

“Is your mom here?” Spencer asked curiously.

Freddie sniffled, “No, she left early to go light a prayer candle for Sam at our church and then she’s going to run some errands.  I told her I didn’t feel like going out.”

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?” Spencer asked in concern and Freddie just shook his head.  “Well, get ready and come on over.  I’ve made a big spread.”

“Spencer, I really don’t think Carly wants to see me,” Freddie replied sadly.  “She told me last night that she never wanted to see me again.  And I can’t blame her.”

“You let me worry about that,” Spencer said with a warm smile, “just come on over after you grab a shower.  I need your help with something.  Okay?”

“Okay,” Freddie agreed, feeling like he couldn’t say ‘no’.  He knew he would owe Carly anything she needed for the rest of his life.

A little while later, Carly woke up from her nap and smiled as she cuddled into Sam some more.  She would never tire of waking up in her arms.  The movement woke Sam up and she tightened her hold on her girlfriend.

“Hi,” Carly greeted with a smile.

Sam opened her eyes and smiled back, “Hi.  How long were we asleep?”

“I don’t know but I don’t think it was very long,” Carly replied.  “Feel like taking a shower?”

Sam’s eyes shot open wide, “Together?”

“Sure,” Carly grinned and then they both excitedly scrambled out of bed and bounded into the bathroom together.

Spencer and Freddie were seated at the kitchen table eating breakfast.  Spencer still hadn’t told Freddie about Sam being back.  He wanted him to see her with his own eyes.  Their conversation had been limited to small talk so far.  Freddie eyed Spencer curiously as the goofy manchild happily crunched on his bacon and then took a sip of his coffee, while humming to himself.

“How are you so…calm and happy this morning?” Freddie asked.  He, himself, felt like the world had ended.

“Hmmm?” Spencer asked and he slurped down some orange juice.

“I’ve ruined all our lives and I’m pretty sure Carly will murder me the next chance she gets,” Freddie pointed out.

“Don’t worry, buddy, everything will be alright,” Spence said nonchalantly and Freddie just scrunched in eyebrows together in confusion as he stared at him.

“So, what did you need my help with?” Freddie asked curiously.

“Well, first,” Spencer started as he stood from the table and carried his empty plate over to the sink.  “I need you to help me haul all our Christmas decorations up from storage in the basement and then help me decorate the first floor.  I already had the tree delivered this morning.”  Freddie glanced over to the corner of the room where there was a tall fir leaning against the wall, still tied up with rope.  “Then I gotta get started on dinner.  I’m making a ham.  Sam’s favorite!”

Freddie’s brow shot up in surprise.  Oh, poor Spencer.  He’s lost his mind.  He can’t deal with the fact that Sam is dead, he thought in sadness.

“Spencer…do you really think this is a good idea?  After everything that’s happened?” Freddie asked with caution.

“Of course!” Spencer replied.  “Gotta get the place looking as festive as possible for the holidays.  Right?”

“Uh, sure,” Freddie replied, “Maybe it’ll cheer Carly up.”

“And the rest of us!” Spencer pointed out.  “Now, come on!”  He grabbed Freddie by the back of his shirt excitedly and yanked him out of his chair.  Freddie just decided to go along with it as they stepped onto the elevator from their living room.  He assumed Carly was still asleep upstairs and he wasn’t looking forward to facing her again.  But, he thought, maybe she wouldn’t kill him if he were helping them out and saw how remorseful he was.

Carly and Sam held each other as they stood under the warm spray of the shower.  They’d just finished round two of their lovemaking and were savoring being in each other’s arms.  They soon decided to wash up and finished their shower.  They spent the next half hour dressing, brushing their teeth, and drying their hair, while they stole kisses from each other.  Sam’s stomach growled loudly and it made Carly giggle.

“It’s definitely past breakfast,” she pointed out.  “Actually, it’s almost lunch time.  You think the food has gone cold?”

“I’m sure we can reheat,” Sam replied as she pecked Carly on the lips.  Then the two of them headed downstairs.

Down in the living room, Freddie and Spencer had just finished decorating the first floor with lights and putting the finishing touches on the Christmas tree.  Freddie sighed in sadness.  He wondered if he should leave before Carly woke up.  He was afraid to face her wrath again.

“Spence, since we’re done, I think I’m gonna head back home,” Freddie said as he hung one last ornament on the tree.

“You should stay,” Spencer replied, “I’m sure Carly and Sam will be down any minute now.”

“What?” Freddie asked stunned.  He was really worried about Spencer’s mental state now.  “Carly and Sam?  Spencer, are you sure you’re feeling-”

But he was cut off by the sight of Carly and Sam descending the stairs together hand in hand, smiling and staring each other in the eye like they were the only two people on the planet.

“Oh, my God!  SAM?!” Freddie shrieked.  “You’re alive!!”

Freddie’s outburst caused the two girls to look his way and Sam chuckled, “That will never get old.”  And Carly giggled.

Freddie blinked his eyes hard several times, making sure he was actually seeing Sam.  Spencer just grinned at him.

“B-But…you’re…you…the lake and…you were dead!” Freddie stuttered.  “How did…?”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m alive and well, Fred-bag,” Sam replied with a chuckle.  Freddie marched over to her and pulled Sam in for a hug, not caring if she protested or not.  But she didn’t, much to his surprise.  She actually hugged him in return, patting his back affectionately.  Then he pulled back and looked Sam in the eye.

“Don’t ever do that again!” Freddie said firmly, surprising everyone in the room.  But Sam could tell he had been deeply affected by her actions and he was still worried about her.  She couldn’t be mad at him.  Not for that.  His eyes shifted nervously to Carly’s.  “Carly, I know you said you never wanted to see me again but-”

“It’s okay, Freddie,” Carly cut in.  “I’m actually glad you’re here.”  Freddie visibly relaxed and then turned his attention back to Sam.

“Sam, I’m so sorry for what I said and for starting that fight,” Freddie started to ramble.  “It was all my fault.  From Carly getting mugged to you jumping off the bridge.  I’m so sorry.  I thought you were dead and that I’d never get the chance to make things right.  I know it will take a long time but…can you both forgive me?  Please, I’ll do anything to make it right.”

Carly and Sam looked at each other and then back to Freddie as he held his breath.  Sam gazed at Freddie’s face, genuine and remorseful, and bruised from their fight the previous night.  He seemed so nervous that she would reject his apology.  Then a grin spread across Sam’s face and she casually said, “Sure.  Why not?”  And Freddie breathed a sigh of relief.  Normally, she’d mess with him a little and make him sweat but she was in a generous mood.  After everything she’d experienced with Cam, she’d learned to appreciate things.

Carly pulled him in to a group hug with the three of them, and the tech producer felt so relieved to have his two best friends back.  Spencer smiled at the sight.  When they all pulled back from the hug, the girls then noticed all the lights and Christmas decorations.

“When did you do all this?” Carly asked as she and Sam approached the Christmas tree.  She was delighted to see, and smell, a real tree this time.

“Spencer came and got me this morning to help him,” Freddie replied.

“We wanted the first floor to be decorated when you came down for breakfast,” Spencer replied, “speaking of which…”  He trailed off and then zipped into the kitchen to make a fresh batch of eggs for the girls.  They soon sat down to eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, muffins, juice and coffee.

“Spencer, I don’t think you made enough food,” Sam chuckled sarcastically as she shoveled a bite of pancakes into her mouth, causing Carly to giggle.

Spencer and Freddie were seated at the table with them, sipping coffee.  They had been waiting patiently for Sam to tell them how she’d come back from the dead.  After Carly and Sam had eaten their fill, the blonde took a sip of her juice and said, “It’s really quite simple.  I believe you both had a dream about me?”

Freddie and Spencer glanced at each other in confusion.  “Uh, yeah, I did,” Spencer confirmed.

Sam looked to Freddie and he finally nodded, “Me too.  But how did you know?”

Sam grinned, “Well, it all really happened.”

At their confused expressions, she explained everything.  That Cam was real and everything that happened in their dream had actually transpired, starting from Cam jumping into the water to intervene, and ending with Cam earning her wings and saying goodbye to Sam on the bridge.

“I can’t believe this!” Freddie exclaimed.  “This is incredible!”

“Unreal!” Spencer agreed.

“Did you really run all the way here?” Carly asked.

“Well, actually,” Sam began with a grin, “I realized I wasn’t going to make it in time on foot, so I stole a couple horses and a carriage from that guy who’s always trying to offer us sleigh rides at Christmas time for a ridiculous amount of money.”

Carly nearly spit out her juice, “Are you serious?”  Sam just nodded.  “Where is it now?”

“Oh, probably still parked out front,” Sam laughed and then caught the look on Carly’s face.  “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Oh, I’m so thinking what you’re thinking!” Carly replied.

“Sleigh ride!” they said in unison.

After buddling up, the four of them headed downstairs and exited the building to see that the horses were still parked right where Sam had left them a few hours prior.  But just as they approached the carriage, two cop cars pulled up; only one of them with their lights flashing.  The police filed out of each car.  The one with the flashing lights also had the owner of the carriage with them.

“That’s her, officers!” the man said angrily.  “She’s the one who stole my horses and carriage!”

“Borrowed,” Sam corrected casually.

“What are you two doing here?” the officers from the second car asked their fellow officers.

“We’re following up on the missing girl from last night.”

“The one who jumped from the bridge and was presumed dead?”

“That would be me,” Sam said coolly.  They all looked at Sam in surprise, shocked that she seemed totally fine, outside of a few facial bruises.

The officers got Sam’s statement and made sure she seemed fine mentally before the second round of officers questioned her about stealing the carriage.  There was some back and forth from the owner of the horses and the officers before the confusion was straightened out.  Then Spencer took the man aside to explain that Sam only needed to borrow his horses for an emergency, life or death, situation; trying to get Sam off the hook.

“You seem like a reasonable man,” Spencer flattered him.  “You don’t really want to press charges against a teenager who was in a desperate situation, just trying to get home, do you?  Not this close to Christmas.  And you got your horses back safe and sound with no damage done to the carriage.”

The man’s angry expression faltered a bit and Spencer could tell he was on the verge of letting it go.  He just needed a little nudge.  “How about we rent out your carriage for the next couple hours?” Spencer added on.  “With a generous tip?”  He pulled out his wallet and waved a stack of cash in the air.

“Okay, you twisted my arm,” the man smiled.  “I won’t press any charges.”

The three teens cheered in delight.  It would have been a lousy Christmas to get Sam back, only to have her shipped off to juvie.  The police were satisfied and soon left.  All four of them proceeded to climb into the back of the carriage, as the driver took the coach seat.  Then they were off, riding through the snow with sleigh bells ringing.  Spencer and Freddie were seated in the front row, while Carly and Sam had the back all to themselves.

Carly cuddled into Sam and sighed happily, enjoying the feeling of her warmth.  She couldn’t believe everything that had transpired over the past 24 hours.  The sleigh ride was just as magical as she had thought it would be as they rode through the city, seeing the sights.  They rode through the park and got to enjoy all the Christmas decorations that were lit up.  About an hour into the ride, they stopped for some hot chocolate from a vendor and also indulged in some gingerbread cookies.  For the rest of the ride, Carly and Sam spent the majority of the time smooching and cuddling in the backseat, and Carly couldn’t recall a time she had been happier.

“This is so humiliating!” Freddie groaned as Carly finished applying his makeup.  It was the following day and they were up in Carly’s room, adding the finishing touches to Freddie’s outfit.

“You said, you would ‘do anything to make it right’ with us,” Sam reminded him.

Freddie sighed, “I know.  I just didn’t expect this,” gesturing to his getup.

“Okay, done!” Carly said as she took a step back and admired her handiwork.  Freddie was dressed in a red sweater, black miniskirt, pantyhose, and red matching heels.  He wore a wig made of long, wavy blonde hair and Carly had done a good job applying his makeup.

“Nice job, Carls,” Sam complimented, “he almost passes for a decent girl.”

“Ugh!” Freddie groaned in humiliation.

“Oh, one more thing!” Sam said as she opened Carly’s closet and pulled out a purse.  She went over and hung it on Freddie’s shoulder, causing his arm to sag down abruptly.

“Why is it so heavy?” Freddie asked as he adjusted the strap.

“I put a couple bricks in there,” Sam said, “for your protection.”  Freddie opened the purse and peered inside.  “You can get swingy with it if those guys get handsy.”

“Thanks,” Freddie said.  “But can’t I get some pepper spray or a taser or something?”

“This is all we had time for, Fred-bag,” Sam replied.

“I get that you want to get revenge on the assholes who mugged Carly, but using me as bait is sooooo not what I signed on for,” Freddie grumbled as he adjusted his pantyhose under his skirt.  “What is your plan anyway?  Even if they come after me, how are you going to stop them from hurting me before the cops can show up?  You’re just one person.”

“Don’t worry, Fredifer.  I’ll have backup,” Sam said with a grin.

“What do you…?” Freddie trailed off.

“You’ll see,” was all Sam said.

The three of them headed to the alley where Carly had been mugged just a couple days prior.  They’d set Freddie up with some actual spy equipment they’d bought online.  He had an earpiece that he covered with his wig so that he could hear everything Sam was saying over her walkie talkie, and a microphone they’d strapped on under his bra so that Sam could hear everything that Freddie and the muggers would say.  He also had on a pair of glasses with a tiny camera inside that would record everything he sees.

“So, let’s go over the plan one more time,” Freddie said nervously.

“Don’t worry, Freddie,” Carly said soothingly, “Sam and I will be sitting in a car right across the street, watching you.  As soon as those goons show up, we’ll call the police.”

“All you have to do, is look all vulnerable,” Sam added.

“But wait, whose car will you be using for this operation?” Freddie asked in confusion.

Just then, a beat-up old station wagon rolled to a stop right next to them and parked.  A tall, muscular man with blond hair got out and smiled at them.

“Freddie, I’d like you to meet my uncle Carmine,” Sam said with a grin.  Two of his friends got out of the back seat and joined him.

“These are my friends from the joint, Stan and Billy,” Carmine introduced them.

“N-Nice to meet you,” Freddie greeted them nervously.  He’d heard stories about Sam’s uncle and he knew he was not someone to mess with.

“Don’t worry, Fred-pus, we’ll have your back,” Sam said.  “These assclowns won’t know who they’re messing with.”  Freddie slowly exhaled through puckered lips and nodded nervously.

They each got into position, with Freddie standing on the corner near the alley and his backup, sitting the car across the street.  Carly and Sam were squished in the front seat with Carmine, while his two friends were in the backseat.  Now, all they had to do was wait.  Several minutes later, the sun went down and the streetlight came on.

“How you holding up, Fredalupe?” Sam asked through her walkie talkie.

“These pantyhose squeeze in all the wrong places,” Freddie complained over the radio, “I don’t know how girls do it.”

“Focus, Benson,” Sam reprimanded him, “we’re here for a job.  Not to be comfortable.  You see anything yet?”

“No, nothing,” Freddie replied.  “Just a dude in the apartment building across the street doing naked jumping jacks who really should learn how to close his blinds.”  Carmine’s friends in the backseat chuckled and then they saw Freddie jump in fear across the street as he turned to look down the dark alley he was standing next to.  “Wait, I just heard something coming from the alley,” he added.  All was quiet for a few moments and then Freddie turned back toward them, “It must have been a cat or something.”

Everyone relaxed and went back to waiting but only seconds later, they saw a large man come out of the darkness and grab Freddie from behind, just like he had done to Carly.  Freddie struggled as his screams were muffled by a large, hairy hand.  He was dragged into the alley and out of sight from Sam and the rest of the crew.  Sam pulled out her cell and immediately called the police as they all quietly got out of the car.

In the dark alley, Freddie struggled against his attackers and tried to call for help but due to the large hand covering his mouth, no one heard him.  The man holding him threw him down to the ground and kicked him in the stomach.

“Well, what do we have here?” the tallest one sneered.  “Out for a little stroll?”

“Dressed like that?” the shorter one said.  “You must be headed to a party, little girl.”

“You can party with us,” the third one laughed as he grabbed Freddie by the arm and stood him up.  “What’s your name, sweet cheeks?”

“Uh,” Freddie cleared his throat and put on his best girl voice in a higher octave, “Frederica.  Please, I don’t have any money.”

“We don’t want your money,” the tall one boomed.

“Well, what do you want?” Freddie asked nervously.

“Your body,” the man replied and all three of them laughed, Freddie gulping in fear as they began to approach him.

“HEY, FUCKNUTS!” Sam yelled from behind them, causing them all to freeze and then turn her way.  “The party’s over here, assholes!” she yelled as Carmine and his friends filed out onto both sides of her, brandishing different weapons.  Billy had a baseball bat, while Stan swung a length of chain.  Carmine slipped on a pair of brass knuckles and Sam pulled her butter sock out and started swinging it.

“What the hell do you want?!” the tall mugger asked angrily.

“First of all, to let that dorky girl go,” Sam replied, gesturing to Freddie.  “And secondly, you can hold still while I kick your ass!”

The muggers all grinned as two of them pulled out switchblades, flicking the blades out, and the third one grabbing a crowbar from his duffle bag on the ground.  Then it was on, each group charging the other.  Freddie looked on in fear at the flurry of attacks happening all at once.  Punches and kicks from both sides, along with weapons clashing.  He had to dodge out of the way as one of the muggers was thrown past him into the wall by Carmine, and another was flipped over by Sam, landing on his back.  Soon all three muggers were disarmed and knocked out.

When they came to a few minutes later, they were all tied together and hoisted up several feet in the air, hanging by a metal chain from a fire escape railing, bruised and bloody from the fight.

“Are these the same douche bags who attacked you, Carls?” Sam asked as Carly approached.

“Definitely,” Carly replied, glaring at the three of them.

“It’s you!” one of them growled out.  He was the one who had put his hands on her during her mugging.  “You fucking bitch!  I oughtta- aaaahhhhh!”  He screamed out in pain as Carly shocked him in the crotch with a stun gun.

“I’d keep your mouth shut if I were you,” Sam said with a grin.  Carmine looked at the brunette, impressed, as did Sam and the others.

The cops soon arrived at the scene to arrest the muggers.  Luckily, one of the officers on the scene had interviewed Carly after her mugging a couple days prior.  “We were just minding our business!” the tall mugger said.

“Yeah, we’ve never even seen these punks before and they jumped us!” the shorter one added.

One of the officers was rummaging through the muggers’ duffel bag and pulled out a lady’s style wallet.  Opening it, he said, “Oh, you’ve never seen this girl before?” gesturing to Carly.  He tossed the wallet to his partner and revealed Carly’s school ID inside.  “Book ‘em!”

“I believe this is yours,” the office said, handing her wallet back to her.  Carly smiled as she took it.

With Carly’s wallet and Freddie’s glasses cam video showing the attack, they had plenty of evidence to take them to jail.  After handcuffing them and placing them in the back of the cop car, the officer checked his mobile data terminal in his cab and determined that all three criminals were connected to a series of assaults, burglaries and robberies in the area.

“Don’t worry, these three will be going away for a very long time,” the officer said as he stepped out of his car.  “I’m assuming you also want to press charges?”

“Absolutely,” Carly replied, her brow knitted together in resolve.

“Good,” the officer said with a smile.  They soon parted ways for the night and the three teens made it safely back to the Bushwell after Sam said her goodbyes to her uncle Carmine, thanking him for his help.

Later they filled Spencer in on their evening activities over spaghetti tacos.  “Why didn’t you tell me about this ahead of time?” he asked the teens.

“We knew you had a date with that nice lady from the art museum you’re always talking about and we weren’t even sure anything would happen tonight,” Sam replied, taking a bite of her taco.  “I figured we would have to stakeout for several nights in a row before we’d see any action.”

“Yeah, we didn’t want you to cancel your date.  Or to worry about us,” Carly added.

“I could have helped,” Spencer said.

“We know.  That’s why we didn’t want to bother you with it,” Carly replied.

“And, don’t worry,” Sam added on, “we had plenty of muscle with Carmine and his friends.”

“Yeah, Sam kicked major ass!” Freddie input as he grabbed another taco from the dish in the middle of the table.

“Well, I’m just glad those muggers are in jail and won’t be doing that to anyone else,” Spencer replied with a smile, squeezing Carly’s hand.  She smiled at him and then they all finished dinner.

Over the next couple days, Carly filed the report at the police department to press charges against her muggers, with Spencer and Sam as support, and Sam finally went home to have a talk with her mother.  After informing Pam that everything she had dreamed about with Sam and the Christmas angel had been real, Sam was relieved to find that her mother believed it all and was willing to do anything to prevent such a horrible future from ever happening.  And she was so relieved that Sam was alive and well.

In the end, Sam agreed to come back home but she knew they had a long road ahead of them to recovering their relationship.  And Sam wasn’t quite ready to trust or forgive her mother just yet after everything that went down.  But at the very least, she got her mom to agree to start going to AA and to quit drinking.  It was a start.  After informing her mother that she would be spending the holidays with Carly and Spencer, Sam packed a bag and returned to the Shays, where she felt at home.

Then Christmas day finally arrived.  As Carly woke up that morning, she smiled.  She was wrapped up in Sam’s arms, the two of them still naked from the night before.  She cuddled further into Sam and the blonde moaned as she woke up.

“Mmm, good morning,” Carly greeted.

“Yes, it is,” Sam admitted, causing Carly to giggle.  “Merry Christmas, Cupcake.”

“Merry Christmas, Sam,” Carly replied and then pecked her on the lips.

“What’s that look for?” Sam asked curiously.

“What?” Carly said, trying to look all innocent, but failing to hide her grin.

“I know that look, Cupcake.  You’re up to something,” Sam noted with a grin of her own.

“Who?  Me?” Carly said, continuing to play innocent.  “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Alright, keep your secrets.  For now,” Sam said.  “I have ways of making you talk.  Later.  But for now…” she trailed off as she sniffed the air.  “Spencer’s making sausage.”  Then she sniffed again.  “And hash browns.”  One more sniff.  “And eggs and coffee and waffles and bacon.”

Carly laughed again as Sam started pulling her out of bed, and the two of them slipped on some pajamas before trapsing down the stairs together.  Spencer had already turned on all the Christmas lights on the tree and the rest of the decorations.

“Merry Christmas, kiddos!” Spencer greeted when he saw them enter the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas, Spence!” they replied in unison.

Carly eyed Spencer, asking her silent question, and he gave her a nod in return.  Good, Carly thought with a smile.  Sam’s Christmas surprise should be arriving any minute now.

There was a knock at the door and Carly went over to answer it.  Sam snatched a slice of bacon off the plate on the table and crunched into it.  Without even looking up, she mumbled with her mouth full, “If that’s Freddie, tell him to wait until after breakfast to come over.  Mama needs her protein before dealing with the nub.”

She heard the front door close and then a familiar voice said, “I hope you saved some bacon for me.”

Sam froze and then slowly turned around to see a face she hadn’t realized how much she missed until she saw her.

“MEL?!” Sam exclaimed in surprise.

“Hey, Sam,” Melanie greeted with a smile.  “Merry Christmas!”

Without another word, Sam ran over and enveloped her sister in a tight hug, causing the blonde twin to giggle in return as she wrapped her arms around her.  The hug went on much longer than Sam usually allowed, and Carly and Spencer smiled at the warm sight.  When she pulled back, Sam asked, “What are you doing here?  I thought mom couldn’t afford to fly you home for the holidays.”

“Carly called and told me how upset you were that I couldn’t make it,” Melanie answered and Sam looked over to her loving girlfriend with a warm smile, realizing the brunette had made this happen.  “After I had the strangest dream about you, Carly called and told me about what happened on the bridge,” Mel continued.  “Imagine my surprise to learn that my dream was actually real and everyone else had dreamed it as well!  I can’t believe you got a Christmas angel!  This is so unreal!”

Sam chuckled, “Tell me about it.  I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.  I was gonna call you about it but…”  She trailed off, unsure what else to say.

“Well, Spencer and Carly helped me get a flight out here last minute to surprise you,” Mel added.  “I’m planning to have a long talk with mom as well.”

Sam pulled her back in for a hug, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Mel replied into her ear.  “Promise me…” she trailed off as she got choked up on her tears and sniffled.  And Sam knew what she was going to say.

“I promise I won’t do that again,” Sam whispered back.  “I’m sorry for scaring you.  And everyone.  But I’m good now.  I promise.”

She heard Mel sigh in relief and then they pulled back from the hug, smiling at each other.  Then a thought suddenly occurred to Sam.  “Hang on one second,” Sam said as she pulled out her cell and sent a quick text to Freddie.  Luckily, her cell phone turned out to be okay after her swim in the lake.  Another gift from Cam.

Come over and say hey to my twin, Melanie.

It didn’t take long for Freddie to reply back with a text.

Ha-ha.  I’m not falling for that again.  We’ve already established you don’t have a twin.

Sam then went over to the front door.

“Where are you going?” Carly asked curiously.

“Just stay put,” Sam replied as she marched over to the Bensons’ front door and banged on it.  Freddie opened it a few seconds later.

“Sam, I’m not falling for your dumb trick again so- aaahhhh!” Freddie cried out as Sam grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar and dragged him over to the Shays’.

“Freddie, I’d like you to meet my sister, Melanie,” Sam said with a grin.

Freddie did a double take, looking back and forth between the two blondes.  “You mean…you really have a twin?!”  Shock written all over his face.

“Merry Christmas, Fred-dork!” Sam exclaimed with a grin.

“I can’t believe this!” Freddie muttered.

Sam leaned over and whispered to Freddie, “You’re never too smart for me and yes, you are gullible.  In your face, Benson!”  She said this last part loud enough for the whole room to hear.  It felt so good to rub in back in his face.  He’d been so obnoxious the first time he’d met Mel back in the summer when she visited and insisted that she was just Sam dressed up trying to prank him.

“I mean…I just…you…she…” Freddie stammered, embarrassed.

“Yes, I’m really real,” Mel said, grinning at Freddie’s obvious confusion.

“I’m sorry,” Freddie apologized.  “I really thought Sam had just been playing a trick on me.”

“Okay, now that that’s cleared up,” Sam said as she grabbed Freddie by the back of his shirt collar again and started yanking him out of the room, “you can go back home now.  I need time with my family.  We’ll hang out later.”  She shoved him out the door and slammed it shut, dusting her hands off.

“Well, come on!  The food’s getting cold!” Spencer finally said just as Sam’s stomach growled, causing everyone to laugh.  Sam pulled Carly aside as Mel went over to hug Spencer in the kitchen.

“Thank you so much for this,” Sam said as she hugged Carly.  “You have no idea how much this means to me.  This is the best present you could have gotten me this year.”

“You’re welcome,” Carly said as she pulled back from Sam, giving her a smile.

“And tell Spencer I’ll pay him back for Mel’s flight,” Sam replied.

“Nuh-uh!  This is a gift from the both of us.  To you and Mel,” Carly retorted.  “No repayment necessary.”

“Who has the best girlfriend ever?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Um, I think I do,” Carly answered, grinning back.

“Nope,” Sam shook her head.  “That would be me.”

“Are you sure about that?” Carly teased.

“I am,” Sam whispered just before their lips met in a sweet kiss.

They spent the rest of the day exchanging gifts and just enjoying being in each other’s company.  And Sam ended up telling Mel the whole story of how she ended up on the bridge in the first place since she didn’t dream that part.  Later that evening, they sat down to a wonderful roast beef dinner, made by Spencer.  Carly reached under the table and took Sam’s hand as Spencer and Melanie were engaged in a conversation about Mel’s flight.  Carly and Sam silently gazed at each other, smiling.  Neither of them had to say anything to know how they each felt.  They knew their love was forever and no one could ever change that.  From here on out, they were in it together.  Sam leaned over and gave Carly a lingering kiss, smiling when they pulled apart.

The experience with Cam made Sam realize how good she’d always had it and she vowed to not take her life for granted ever again.  Carly’s dream about Sam and Cam never faded with time, like she thought it would have.  It stayed as strong and vivid as a lasting memory; as if she had experienced it herself.  And as she held Sam in her arms later that night in bed, watching her girlfriend sleep, she gazed out the window as the snow continued to fall.  And she realized, she had one more Christmas angel to thank, just as she had thanked Mitch last year.  “Thank you, Cam,” she whispered with a smile.  The little angel had definitely earned her wings.