Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Most of the rooms in the 2-A dorm block had been seen by the class, some of them more than others.

It seemed that Mina’s door was always open, always available for a chat. Kirishima was a revolving door of advice and work out tips and it seemed Momo was one step away from opening a tea business in her classy room.

Some rooms were less frequented. Occasionally Jirou would open her doors for a jam session, or to host a girls night. Occasionally Aoyama would allow visitors into his glittery hurricane, only to emerge with new clothing, a new hair style and glitter in inconspicuous places for a few days.

And some were rarer still, open to only a select few. Koda was known to only occasionally invite someone in- usually Tsu or Ochako and even then it was rare. For some, like Bakugo, only one person had ever been deemed worthy enough to cross his threshold, that person being of course Kirishima. Even Todoroki was known to host an occasional study session for the Dekusquad.

The availability of each room matched the personality of its owner, with one glaring exception.

No one had ever stepped foot, or even seen, Ochako’s room.

Not that there was actually anything to see, but still. The door remained closed to any and all, no matter how close they were to the bubbly space girl.

It hadn’t been easy, especially in the first few weeks when they had held the room competition, but Ochako had easily wiggled her way around that.

“Whoops! I think I locked myself out already! Guess I’ll have to go find Mr.Aizawa after this.” She had said, giggling a little with the others even if a few did roll their eyes. It was on brand for her to have already done something like that. She could be quite forgetful sometimes.

And that was how it went. Whenever someone would ask she would simply brush it off. Later. They could come over when it was cleaner, not laundry day, when there was less homework to be done.

Ochako wasn’t even sure why she did it. Everyone knew by now she was dirt poor. Perhaps it was the distinct lack of well… anything that wasn’t the bare essentials. Perhaps it was the fact the only belongings she had besides a few pieces of clothing were all school issued, from her stationary to her shampoo. If she were to move out that day, she would only have a single bag to take with her and the room would remain completely unchanged.

Perhaps the reason why she never showed anyone her room was because of how forgettable it looked. Just like her.

Ochako stood in front of the mirror, bag packed for another day of classes and practised her smile. She stretched it over her face with the ease of years of practise until it looked like one of bright joy with a hint of mischief. Her eyes looked particularly tired, so she scrunched them up a little more to make up for it.

Perfect. She looked happy, maybe not radiant, or dazzling with beauty, but happy and that was enough. She would see through the day and then she could sleep.

Lately all she could think about was sleep.

Maybe it was because the war was finally over, All For One was actually dead this time and they had been free to return to their lives, but Ochako didn’t feel any better for it. She could still picture her parents tired faces as they begged her to help out, just a little, she could still see the hidden scars of her classmates, even when they tried to hide it.

Ochako was quite good at seeing those scars, better than most. Even though they had all been forced into weekly therapy, she was still the unofficial emotional aid for her class.

Kirishima liked to joke that an Uravity hug was a cure all.

It made her happy to feel wanted, to be needed, even if it did seem like just another aspect of being a hero. At least she was seen.

When you were smack in the middle, it was hard to be seen, especially in class and by friends.

Ochako wasn’t a problem child. She was not full of rage, or had a horrible parent, or given an overpowered quirk. She wasn’t loud, or boisterous, dangerously quiet or worryingly antisocial.

No. She was bubbly, kind but not more so than Mina. She was hard working, but not even close to Momo, Todoroki or Bakugo. Sure she excelled at martial arts, but Ojiro would always win the hand to hand combat classes no matter how hard she tried. There was simply nothing that made her stand out, nothing to worry over or gossip about, so she was simply in the middle of it all.

Everyone said it was lonely at the top, but in the middle, you disappeared completely.

It was a thought that ate at Ochako, that she carried around like a weight in her bag every day. But it would never take away her biggest weapon- her smile.

So she grinned in the kitchen, at Sato who had decided to make pancakes for the class that morning.

She smiled softly, like goo, seeping into the crevices of his fractured heart when Denki fell apart in her arms and cried over something he should never have had to have seen during their break between classes.

Ochako laughed with Midoryia and Tsu about something stupid the green haired boy had done and had teased Ojiro about his crush with Kirishima during battle practise.

She was exactly how everyone expected Ochako Urawaka to be- happy, kind and a little spaced out at times.

Within the microcosm of 2-A, that was her role. To be a cute, happy therapy animal who just so happened to float things when needed. Even the war hadn’t really changed her classes outlook of her. Aizawa barely spared her a second glance, Mic’s eyes would skim past her each time as he sought for an answer to the question he had asked and Snipe didn’t even seem to know her name.

And it was fine. She was happy enough with her role, her position. She was just so tired.

After classes she completed homework, struggled over English, made a note to ask Momo or Todoroki and then helped prepare dinner.

Laugh. Giggle. Reply to a comment. Ask if they were okay. Did they want a chat? Laugh some more. Repeat.

Ochako had food time chatter down to a tee. She knew exactly how to act, when to eat between speaking, when to bring someone else into the conversation. It was easy really, it was a dance she knew well.

It was a Tuesday, which meant no real activities happened, so she could relax her smile when she escaped back to her room. Ochako liked being with her friends, she really did, but recently it had been even more draining than usual, so the break was nice.

But it was also a Tuesday, which meant she had to go to work.

It was technically forbidden for them to have part time jobs. She was supposed to be focused on being a hero, but no one had caught her just yet and she knew no one ever would. It was scary, how easily she could escape the school grounds without being noticed.

A blessing really.

Except sometimes, when Ochako pondered it too hard as she changed into her work clothes, dabbed some of Mina’s mascara and lipstick onto her face and put a hair band in her hair, it made her incomprehensibly sad.

It was important that she was able to work after all, she needed to send money to her family now more than ever. She didn’t want to be caught.

Grabbing her keys, she slipped out of the window, taking away her gravity and floating upwards to the roof. Once she had landed she made herself almost weightless, space jumping down to the forest below and easily manoeuvring out of UA and towards the city proper. It was easy work, child’s play really.

Sometimes Ochako wondered how easy it would be for her to just drift away, up, up in the sky until only the stars surrounded her.

But she wouldn’t do that. Not today. She needed to make some money. She needed to smile, she needed those tips.

Ochako walked into the twenty four hour diner located in a random street in a random section of town, tied an apron around her waist and lifted the corner of her lips.

“Hi there, what can I get for you tonight?” The words slipped out with ease, her hand writing down the order before she could even truly process the request.

Ochako was so, so tired.

But she didn’t stop smiling. Not once.

Chapter Text

Ochako loved going to the gym. It was one the one place she didn’t have to pretend.

She loved the ache of her muscles at the end of a good work out, the way the showers just felt that much more soothing after being caked in sweat. In the gym there was no Uravity, no Ochako the therapist, the dutiful daughter. It was Ochako, the human on the dumbbells. Ochako, normal person on the treadmill.

Normally she went to the gym in the evenings or after school, because she had never been any good at waking up early, especially if it was to work out and today was no different. The gym was pretty quiet at nine pm on a Thursday, with only a few others around to make some noise. Peaceful, but not stifling in its silence.

It had been arms, her least favourite to work out on account of how awkward it was to fold in her pinky and also lift the weights, something that hadn’t really improved with time, but she made it work, flowing through her sets without much difficulty.

Maybe she would up amount she was lifting next time, or possibly include a few more reps. A rare spark of excitement settled in her at the thought. It was strange how something so little could make her want to laugh out loud and spin in glee.

She headed over to the showers to scrub off the grime, relishing in how the water soothed her aching muscles. Maybe now she would be able to tackle that stupid English practise paper Mr.Yamada had given them the day before. English always seemed easier post work out for Ochako.

The common area wasn’t too crowded when she got back, so she didn’t have to spend too much time greeting everyone. She simply took the elevator back up to her room and sat at her desk, determined to do some studying.

Carefully, she laid out each piece of equipment, the UA logo emblazoned on the stationary glaring up at her in the desk light. She had a dream once where she had that very logo pressed into her skin and it had never stopped haunting her since.

It was everywhere she looked, from her uniform to the bed spread which had a ‘property of UA high school’ stitched into the inside.

One day, when she had the money, when she was a true hero, she would buy her own pens. Not the boring black ones, but the fun sparkly gel pens that Mina brought out for special occasions. She would get ten pink ones and sign her name with them on everything. They would be scented too. Mochi scented. Surely that was a thing?

It probably was, but she couldn’t get any today, so she had to bring herself down to her desk, back to her work where the words weren’t about her winning a lottery, or finding out her parents were finally not drowning in stress. Ochako pulled herself back to reality and started trying to decipher what was going on, scratching away at her paper.

And it was then that her phone began to ring.

The cute song playing tinnily in her room was enough to end all thoughts of learning for the evening. Her phone could only make calls and even then it was rare that one of her friends would try and contact her this way. There really was only one option. Her parents.

Ochako picked up on the second ring, desperate to her their voices after a week of radio silence. Things must’ve been really busy at the site if it had been that quiet from them.

“Moonpie!” Her dad sighed into the speaker, as if talking to her made him ten tonnes lighter. “We’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too dad! Is mama there too?”

“I’m here sweetheart, don’t worry.” The words were supposed to comfort her, but they simply brushed past her skin, not absorbed at all.

Of course she was worried, she was always worried about them. It was hard not to be after all those years.

“We hope schools going well! When’s your next internship coming up? When can you come home?”

Ochako smiled, a real one this time, the one her dad would’ve called her cheeky ’Chako grin, settling into the conversation comfortably as she finally allowed some of the tension to ease. It was a good phone call then, a happy one. She was glad, because lately those had been few and far between.

They chatted for a while about her school life, her friends, her teachers, the business and how much she missed her mothers cooking. It was mundane, boring to some, but for Ochako it was the highlight of her day.

It was hard, living so far away from the two people she loved most.

“We didn’t mean to disturb you dear. You must be so busy now with all your friends and work!”

“I’m never too busy for you guys!” She said instantly, a little hurt her parents would believe they were anything less than her first priority.

“That’s my little girl.” Her had said fondly, though something in his voice sounded different, a little more morose than usual. Unbidden, images of her parents red eyes and grunt faces flashed through her head, skinny wrists- the bones jutting out in a way they had never done when she was younger- playing with chipped nails as they insisted that no, they were fine.

“It’s the business, isn’t it?” She said quietly, afraid that if she spoke too loudly the walls of her carefully curated paper life would come fluttering down around her.

“Nothing for you to worry about moonpie, we’re just tight on money right now.” Her mama said after a moment. “We didn’t really want to ask you to help out more than you’re doing but…”

Ochako felt ill, like she’d used her quirk too much in class and she was a second away from projectile vomiting in front of everyone. She was so, so selfish, had there ever been a daughter as selfish as her?

“I can pick up some more shifts. I’ll talk to my boss. You should’ve told me sooner!” The words felt like lead in her mouth. She should’ve been working more anyway, but she’d cut back a four hour shift to get some extra work in before the end of summer break where she’d be working full time in her home town. How stupid of her, to not realise how her laziness would impact her parents.

After all the money they had spent on her to send her to UA.

“Honey no! We want you to focus on your work, it’s okay.” Her dad chimed in, though he lacked his usual enthusiasm. “I’ll just work doubles and hopefully we can get the rent-“

“The rent?” She parroted, thrown off kilter. Why would they need to pay rent?

“I told you not to tell her.”

“I’m so sorry dear I didn’t mean to-“

“Ochako dear, we didn’t want to tell you this but we had to mortgage the house.”

“We had that little rise in business so we thought it would be fine but we hit a little downturn is all. I’m sure it’ll pick up again.”

It was clear none of them believed it. They had known for some time the family business was a black hole, slowly sucking them all in.

She was sixteen, she wanted to tell them, she wasn’t even sure what a mortgage was, but it sounded bad and her parents were just so tired and exhausted even over the phone that she knew they were in trouble.

“I’ll come up with something! You have to let me help out, it’s not fair.” Ochako squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the rubber band pull taught in her head. She couldn’t let it snap. She’d just have to put in a little more effort, that was all.

“Oh moonpie.” Her mama cried and at the sound her cheeks were already stretching upwards.

Ochako had learnt at a young age that people could hear your smile even if they couldn’t see your face. She knew just how to make everything seem fine.

“Don’t worry mama! I’m a hero now so it’ll be easy for me!”

“We love you honey.”

“Love you too dad.”

Her phone was dying. It didn’t have a very good battery, so she was quick to leave after that, eager to ring up her boss and schedule in some more shifts. She only worked four evenings at the moment, only twenty hours a week. If she started dosing five nights and for six hours each instead she could easily do thirty hours no problem.

Hadn’t one of her co workers quit recently as well?

“Uraraka? Wanna come do the English paper together with us? We have snacks!” Midoryia called from outside her door, his angelic voice so at odds with her entire situation.

“Coming!” She called back, resetting her face as she shoved her materials back into her school bag, pushing her palms against her eyes in an attempt to force back the tears she could feel building up.

Crying was pointless and she didn’t have time for things like that.

Midoryia was waiting outside her door, already blabbering about something he had seen on the news that day. She let his mumbling wash over her, almost like a white noise machine as she turned to shut her door, pausing for a moment to stare at the empty walls, the barren desk.

That was probably why no one had come in, she realised as the two of them stepped into the elevator.

It was two separate worlds. There was 2-A, happy, struggling class 2-A who, despite going through an entire war still had a sense of optimism and lightness and then there was Ochako. Ochako who was nothing but an imposter, a ghost who haunted them all and was tricking them into thinking she was one of them. Ochako, who hid behind her smiles and her kind eyes, who used her round cheeks to laugh and offer comfort whilst offering nothing of herself in return.

Her selfishness would shock them, wound them in ways she didnt want to comprehend. She didn’t deserve to be there with them, so she had to keep working harder, pushing further. One day, she would be worthy of her friends, of her parents, of being a hero.

She looked around at her friends. The tiny smile on Todoroki’s lips, Tsu rolling her eyes at something Midoryia said. One day, but not today.

“Uraraka, what did you get for question five?”

“Uh, squirrel?”

She knew it was wrong, she knew the real answer was something completely different, but it made her friends laugh nonetheless. She grinned sheepishly and giggled a little too, because that was her job.

Spacy Ochako, mochi obsessed gravity girl. She didn’t want them to know the truth, didn’t want them to know how selfish she had been to get there, how horrible she was to her parents who had worked so, so hard to send her to her dream school.

So she laughed and she doodled and she did not cry. Not once. She didn’t yawn, even when they all started disappearing off to the to the comforts of their beds at ten thirty. Ochako simply got ready for work and drifted out of her window, going to work as usual.

That night, she dreamed of strawberry mochi pens, a house with working heating and the smiles of her friends and family as they floated in a cotton candy sky.

Chapter Text

It was cold.

Frost was nipping at her skin and the wind knotted her brown locks into something she just knew would hurt in the morning. It was freezing in the February even sky, worse even than December had been. She wished, not for the first time, she owned a scarf.

Perhaps it was childish, but she wanted one of those thick bulky ones, the ones you could just your face in and use as a blanket or shawl. It would be nice to have a warm neck and a statement piece to spice up her drab wardrobe. Yes, when she was a hero she would buy herself the comfiest scarf around.

It was like the thoughts alone warmed her up a little as she bounced through the city.

Most people would be scared to go out alone, even with quirks, but Ochako had grown up in the rougher areas of life. She wasn’t afraid of broken down buildings or people yelling on the streets and she was too high up to be at risk of shadows lurking down alley ways or unexplained noises. Looking down on the city before her was the best part about her job, because it was so calming to her, it soothed her very soul.

But it would never last, Ochako knew that better than anybody.

Most people were afraid of being high up, they were afraid of floating up to the sky and drifting away, but she knew otherwise. The landing was always harder, more delicate and painful no matter how good you got at it.

You always had to return to reality.

Coming back down to earth reminded her of her problems that floating helped her keep away from. No, Ochako did not like the ground, not one bit.

There was no bell on the door to the cafe, so she slipped in silently as usual, heading straight to the back. Her co worker Suzuki stood by the counter doom scrolling on his phone as usual, barely sparing her a glance.

He would clock out at twelve, leaving her alone in the dead hours until two when the next shift change was scheduled. Like clockwork, every evening.

They greeted each other with a subdued “hi” and a grin, before swiftly returning to their own sphere. Friendly, but not close. Just two satellites that happened to orbit the same planet.

Pulling on her apron, she came out and took her usual seat by the counter, pulling out some math homework given to her that day. She’d learnt to bring along school work when it was slow, as it saved her precious time. Time that she could use sleeping, or seeing her friends or going to the gym.

Ochako had never considered time as a finite resource until it started slipping through her fingers, sand escaping from every crevice until she was left scrabbling on the ground for just another five minutes, an hour, a second, anything.

So now she did her math homework at the counter, and she tried not to fall asleep. At least math was easy, she’d always loved numbers. There was a right and a wrong, a correct method to be followed and no space for interpretation.

Ochako always knew where she stood with numbers.

They filled her mind, consumed every waking moment. Her pay check, money to her parents, money saved for gifts for her friends, food prices, the heating bill which always rose during that time of year. Numbers governed her every action, her every goal. They surrounded her, trapped her, guided her.

Ochako was glad she was good at math.

Sometimes, if she was stuck she would ask Suzuki for help. He was studying physics at university, wanting to specialise in space. Sometimes, they would talk for hours about comets and their paths through the universe, of black holes and the formation of planets.

Often though, they maintained a peaceful quietness which suited their little cafe quite nicely. She didn’t have to pretend as much with him, because Suzuki simply didn’t seem to care all that much either way.

That weeks problem sheets had been easy, easy enough for Ochako to fly through them by twelve, easy enough that when Suzuki left (handing her the keys and wishing her a good evening) she treated herself to the one free drink a shift they were each allotted.

Large hot chocolate, extra cream and marshmallows, with a dash of caramel sauce. Heaven in a cup.

She sipped it slowly, savouring every mouthful like it was edible gold. It was the small things, but Ochako knew just how much they could impact a day, changing the trajectory for weeks, months, a lifetime.

It was going well, almost too well really. It didn’t suprise her when her least favourite customers waltzed in, disrupting the three or four other solitary figures huddled on tables. They weren’t so loud she could justify calling the police, but loud enough that everyone knew they were there, loud enough to disrupt the pleasant atmosphere late night coffee shops often had.

“Minnie! Good to see ya.” The one in the front said, grinning down at her, all his teeth bared. He was the source of the noise, the discomfort, the crawling skin.

“Hello Hagiwara.” She said, snapping a closed liped, work no play smile on in the blink of an eye. She didn’t dislike many people, but she disliked him with a passion.

His beady eyes seemed to pin her down as if she were a mere bug under a microscope, staring at her chest each time as if her face didn’t exist at all. She used to think that one day he would just reach over the counter and grab her, but she knew better now.

He would wait for her to come to him herself.

“The usual?”

“Yeah. These idiots will have the same.” He gestured lazily to the three men behind him.

Despite their regular appearance over the months, Ochako had never heard any of the others actually speak. They seemed content to loom over Hagiwara, a silent shadow to ward off threats. They didn’t seem the bothered in the slightest at the insult, she didn’t even see a single muscle twitch. They were probably used to the particular song and dance Hahiwara did each visit. They all knew the script by heart. Their only objective was to intimidate, their only lines were to be told through their eyes.

It was very, very effective.

She went about making their drinks, large black coffees, no sugar. Something Tokoyami liked to drink on occasion. She couldn’t understand why they would possibly want the caffeine at one in the morning, but she didn’t want to make conversation any more than she had to.

Ochako knew exactly what she had to do to get the generous tips Hagiwara was known to give her.

She wrote a little heart on his cup next to his name and when she handed it over to him, giggled a little and looked up at him through her lashes.

“That’s my girl.” He said smirking, gesturing to one of his lackeys to hand him the cash. “You get cuter by the day Minnie.”

And cringed internally at the nickname, a remnant of their first encounter where her voice had been nothing more than a squeak, like a mouse. She would’ve said something, would’ve shut him down and insist that he used her name when she had seen the tip he had given her and clammed up completely.

All tips earned went directly to the people on shift, she would have been stupid to let that sort of money go.

“Aww that’s so sweet!” She giggled again, twirling a strand of her hair around a finger, eyes momentarily darting towards the clock.

She could hold out for another forty minutes. It would be another twenty before she was back in her bed. That was fine, she’d handled worse before.

“Getting off at the usual time?”

She nodded.

“You sure I can’t tempt you to a drink? Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I can’t, I have to-“

“Work. Yeah, don’t I know it. I’ll make it worth your time Min’s, don’t be so uptight. You know I take care of you real good.” His canines flashed in the warm lights of the shop.

It was the same song and dance as most evenings. She was used to this by now.

In the beginning, it had freaked her out so badly she had almost quit. What he was insinuating… it scared her like nothing else. Of course she was aware of it, she was a teenage girl with teenage friends and she lived in uncomfortably close proximity to Mina. Ochako understood a lot about sex.

She also understood that despite her body, her face made her look young, younger than sixteen and she knew Hagiwara knew that too. He was aware of just how young she was and didn’t seem to care in the slightest, despite being over twenty himself.

Maybe she would’ve said something, or reported him. Maybe she should’ve. But when she needed money, needed more than she could make in a week at the cafe, she’d had no choice.

It wasn’t that bad. He wasn’t very physical with her, liked the act itself than hurting her in any way.

She’d cried in the showers for days afterwards, feeling his hands all over her for weeks and weeks and weeks. She’d done it a few times afterwards, but only when she was desperate, only when there was no other alternative.

For her family.

For her mama, for her dad who worked so hard to get here to UA.

She would do anything if it meant keeping them afloat, keeping them in her childhood home with food on the table.

Ochako thought about the phone call. She thought about Tsu’s birthday next week and how she still hadn’t been able to get her a gift and how it was her week to buy the snacks for girls night. She thought about pay day, so far away and came to the conclusion in the same heartbeat.

Her muscles stretched upwards, sticky sweet, cloying like honey, transforming her face entirely.

“You don’t mine waiting?”

“Anything for you, cheeks.” Hagiwara’s leer grew.

She shuddered slightly, pushing images of a blonde explosive out of her head. It was strange, hearing someone else talk to her using Bakugou’s nickname. It felt as if someone had used a religious word out of context, besmirched it and trampled all over its meaning.

Ochako didn’t mind the nickname, there were definitely far worse out there, but it was something so intrinsically linked with her understanding of her classmates that it felt… wrong to even hear the word outside of the schools walls.

She shook herself out of her reverie, because she was at work. UA was a vague concept in the city, a semi mythical place where the countries best heroes were made. Mixing them up now would only serve her more trouble.

“I’ll see you soon then!” She grinned and gave him a small wave, smiled at their backs as they retreated into the night.

She smiled when she left the hotel down the street at dawn, bouncing through the city to reach the dorms before school started.

In the shower she broke, sobbed silently under the warm spray, scrubbing at her skin until it screamed at her in angry red.

By the time the bell rang an hour later, she was laughing in her seat at something Mina said.

Ochako was so, so tired.

But it would be okay, because she would buy Tsu her gift that afternoon. A chunky dark green soft that would protect her skin from drying out in the harsh winter wind, one especially designed for those with water related quirks to retain moisture extremely well, perfect for Tsu’s delicate skin.

In the shop, a cozy purple scarf was placed in the right hand corner. Ochako didn’t dare look and her smile fractured, just a little.

One day, when everything was better.

One day, when it would be okay to buy things for herself.

One day, but not today.

In her darker moments, the ones that crept over her in the quiet parts of her day, she wondered if that day would ever come.

She hoped it would. She hoped for it more than anything in the world.

Chapter Text

Classes were much harder when you lacked proper sleep. It is something Ochako had come to terms with long ago. Slowly, she fell from the top quarter of the class to just below average, her math grade the only stable fixture in her report cards.

English was always bad, but now, staring at the D minus written in bold red ink at the top of her paper, it looked bleak.

Usually she would get a B, occasionally a C and once, right at before the Christmas break, she had received an A. But a D?

Tears threatened to spill over her cheeks, but she held herself firm. She would not cry over some stupid test result, not in class, not in front of her friends. It wasn’t even going towards a final grade, it was simply a weekly test that mr.Yamada made up ten minutes before.

It held no meaning whatsoever really, so why was she so upset about it?

“This is bullshit!” The familiar rumble of Bakugo’s anger made its presence known. At least she wasn’t the only one unhappy, though Bakugo’s trigger for anger was miles lower than her own.

“The test was insane this week.” Jirou whispered and from where she sat Ochako could see Midoryia mumbling to himself, though she doubted it was actually about the test.

“Okay listeners, settle down.” Mr.Yamada called out, trying to rangle them all back into obedience. “The test this week was difficult and the class average reflects this, but you all did crazy good compared to the other classes!”

No one cheered up at his enthusiastic speech, so Ochako didn’t look too out of place with her disgruntled expression. Some days, it was hard to look happy.

She zoned out as he started waffling on about methods for memorising vocabulary, staring at the clock as she counted the seconds in her head.

Soon, it would be lunch time and then after that they had battle practise with 1-B and then she could go to bed- she could sleep after movie night, which had been scheduled for that evening. Hopefully they wouldn’t start it too late, otherwise she’d have to leave with old man blasty and that would probably raise a few eyebrows.

Plus, if she stuck around long enough there was potential for it to turn into a games evening, which Ochako desperately wanted. She loved playing video games and she would probably have played more if she had the time and didn’t feel awkward using the communal gaming system (supplied by Kirishima) just for herself.

It wasn’t that she was good at them per se, she was actually pretty terrible, perhaps only beaten by Todoroki who didn’t even know what Mario kart was at the start of the year, but she loved it nonetheless. The bright colours, the tension, the feeling of victory never failed to make her bubble up in laughter and exhilaration- and she didn’t even have to move from her spot on the couch.

Video games were something that even trumped her desire to sleep, not that anyone else was aware of that fact. Ochako had never been one for picking the activity, she couldn’t stand the pressure of potentially disappointing someone or making anyone upset. She just followed whatever decision had the majority, even if she didn’t agree with the choice.

It was just easier that way.

Mr. Yamada continued to natter away right up to the bell, so Ochako was saved from having to answer a question or do any work, but didn’t immediately dismiss the class as usual.

“Just a second listeners! We have a special guest on today’s show!”

Mr. Aizawa did not look pleased to be called a ‘special guest’ in his own classroom. Well, Ochako thought he wasn’t too happy about it, but it was always hard for her to tell his emotions when he was in yellow cocoon mode.

He sighed as he shuffled in, sounding as weary as she felt. In a lot of ways, Ochako related to her grumpy teacher, even if he hardly ever took any notice of her.

“Alright class, I have some news.” He was as deadpan as ever, giving nothing away. “After next year you will be permitted to live at home again due to a large decrease in potential risk for attacks on students.”

The whole class erupted.

Ochako blinked a few times, processing the information, then processing it again in case she heard wrong.

Home.

She could live at home.

She could see her parents every day, eat her mamas cooking and listen to her dad’s cheesy jokes after work. She would be free to hug them and laugh with them whenever she wanted. Ochako loved her parents, she hadn’t realised how hard it would be living away from them for so long.

It smashed into her like a bag of bricks to the face.

Home.

When she smiled it felt like her face would spilt in two from joy, the weight of the past few months seemed to disappear completely, because she could finally go home.

All around her people were yelling and chatting and laughing maniacally (especially in the case of Mineta, who was probably just excited to go back to his porn collection).

While it had been nice, living in the dorms with her closest friends, it served as a constant reminder of what they had gone through, of the events of the past year and all it had cost them. It finally felt as if things were moving on, returning to normal after so much chaos.

There was no league of villains to deal with, no terrorist group threatening their lives, no more mass destruction through whole cities.

(Ochako could still remember being called away from class just days after the final battle to help, her quirk was good for moving rubble, looking for survivors. She could still remember the smell of dust in the air and the image of glassy eyes staring up at her. It had been cold then too, so cold some hadn’t died from the crushing weight of concrete, but from hypothermia, slowly shutting down as they waited for help which would never arrive.)

Things would return to normal and she could finally start to patch herself up properly from the fragments therapy had helped her achieved so far.

But while Ochako was ecstatic at the news, practically bouncing in her seat from happiness and even accidentally floating her desk momentarily, she was not stupid. She knew that for some, going home was a twisted nightmare come to life.

She wasn’t exactly sure on the situation for most of her classmates, but everyone was aware of the complex relationship Todoroki had with his father and siblings.

He’d told her some of it, how everything with Endeavour had been buried in the aftermath, how Touya’s sudden reappearance into their lives had sent his older siblings spiralling. There would be no happy homecoming for him, if he even went home at all.

“Mr.Aizawa? What happens if you can’t go home.” Midoryia called out over the chatter, silencing the class once more. If was obvious why he had asked.

Their teacher frowned further, tired eyes losing a little of their light.

“As if was an emergency placement, UA only has permission to temporarily house students. We will be looking for individual solutions until UA can legally have students living on campus more permanently. We will handle everything, so don’t worry.”

The green haired boy was not at all subtle in the way he glanced back at Todoroki, who remained as stoic as usual, though Ochako noted how he had clenched his fists tightly under the table, a subtle hint at his frustration. She felt a wave of sympathy wash over her as she considered the position he had been placed in, how unfair it all seemed.

Last year, he had been a seasoned war hero, one of their best fighters who had stood shoulder to shoulder with the best heroes from all over Japan. Now, he was nothing more than a child, a victim to the whims of the law and custodial rights, with no way to support himself or escape the situation.

Ochako hoped Aizawa really did have a plan, she hoped her friend would have somewhere safe to live. If her own home wasn’t so small and on the brink of being lost, she would’ve offered him to stay in a heartbeat. It was the least she could do after everything.

She was careful to contain her excitement at lunch, aware of her friends predicament, but she couldn’t quite keep the excitement off of her face.

“You look excited Uraraka.” Iida observed. “You must be very excited to be reunited with your family.”

“I am! It’ll be so good to see them after so long.” She said, careful to not speak too loudly in case Todoroki, who was in conversation with Tsu, got upset. “You must be too right Iida? You can spend way more time with your brother now.”

“Yes, I’m very much looking forward to it. His recovery is coming along quite nicely too.”

“Aww, I’m so glad!” And she was, because her friends deserved to be happy, they deserved to be able to live with the ones they loved.

“I told you to shut the fuck up!”

Ochako barely had to glance up to know it was Bakugo who was yelling once again. He’d simmered down a lot since that first year at UA with the help of therapy, but occasionally he would still lash out. It had been a long time since he’d walked out of the room though, looking positively homicidal.

It was definitely enough to worry Deku, who had gone completely still in his seat, staring after his childhood friend with an unreadable expression.

“What was that all about?” Tsu wondered out loud, as she paused eating her ramen to watch it go down.

“I’m not sure but Mina looks upset.” Ochako frowned, standing up immediately to go to the pink girl who was hunched over in her chair with Kirishima rubbing her back.

“Hey Mina, need a hug?”

Watery eyes stared up at her. “Y-yeah.”

“An Uravity hug fixes everything.” Kirishima nodded, looking relieved that she had shown up to deal with the crying girl. She immediately pulled her friend close and held her, a steady unmoving wall of warmth, as Mina cried her eyes out into her shirt.

Ochako stroked her hair with one hand, careful to keep a finger away at all times. Now was definitely not the time for an accidental floating, as funny as it would’ve been at any other time.

After a few minutes Mina pulled away, her mascara looking as pristine as ever (thank god she bought the water proof one, otherwise Ochako’s shirt would’ve been completely ruined) but still a little swollen from the tears.

No. Ochako couldn’t leave her like this, not when they had received such good news, not when Mina had been off the walls with excitement.

“Wanna go for a walk?”

“Yeah. That- that would be nice.” She pulled herself up and wrapped herself around Ochako’s arm, steering them out of the cafeteria at speed.

Ochako had just enough time to wave to her table- just so they knew she wasn’t ignoring them or anything- before they suddenly entered a world of peaceful white noise in the corridor.

They walked for a few minutes in silence, out into the crisp February afternoon until Mina finally found a bench worth her liking. They sat there, hardly moving despite Ochako’s blood slowly turning to ice in her veins, before her friend finally started to speak, the words pouring out of her in shaky waves.

“It’s Bakugo. We were talking- and, and we were mentioning going home, you know? And obviously he’s pretty quiet so I asked him how he was feeling about it because like he calls his mom a hag and stuff, but he’s always calling her so like they’re probably close? And I teased him about telling her about all the stuff he’s gotten up to, because that’s what friends do right? But when I asked him he just started… started yelling.”

“Oh. But that’s just what he does sometimes right?”

“This was different.” Mina finally turned to her, looking her dead in the eyes. “He looked scared, literally terrified. I was there when he woke up from surgery and he looked even more scared than then.”

After his heart had been torn to shreds and stitched back together all those months ago. When he had nearly been lost like so many others. Ochako remembered it all like it was yesterday, despite it nearly being a year now since the last battle.

“I did that. I pushed him and I made him scared. Terrified. Bakugo doesn’t get scared ‘Chaks, he just doesn’t.” Another tear crept down her cheek. “I’m such a bad friend.”

“You’re not!” She squawked, horrified Mina would even entertain the thought for a second. “You’re one of the kindest, most thoughtful and funny people I know! You had no idea Bakugo would react like that and he didn’t give you any warning or things not to bring up. Apologise to him later and I’m sure it’ll all go back to normal. You are amazing Mina, but we all sometimes say things we regret.”

“Ochako.” Mina threw herself onto her once more. “Thank you. I mean it. Thank you, you’re always there for me and you always have the best advice. Thank you.”

Ochako smiled into Mina’s hair as she tucked her close, happy to have been able to help. She would always be there for her friends, no matter what. She had so much to repay them for after all.

When the bell rang to signal the end of lunch, Mina had perked up to her usual self, albeit a little shaky and hesitant to return to class. Ochako remained at her side the whole time, even walking her to her desk in case she tried to back out in a moment of weakness.

Bakugo was already sitting at his desk reviewing notes, looking particularly annoyed as if the words themselves had personally wronged him.

Mina gulped and looked over to her, unsure, so Ochako nodded her head in assent. Apologising was hard, but you had to do it or risk losing a friend forever.

“Bakugo.”

“Fuck off.” He muttered in typical Bakugo fashion.

“I want to apologise for lunch. I didn’t mean to upset you and I won’t bring it up again.” Mina said, uncharacteristically serious. “You’re my friend-“

“It’s whatever, just shut up already I’m frying to read.” He huffed, sounding irritated, but Ochako saw the hint of red at the tops of his ears. Mission success.

She smiled at Mina, who was looking extremely relieved and bounced back to her chair, peace restored once more.

That night, after phoning her parents about the good news, Ochako readied herself for work, dabbing on the mascara, pinning up her hair away from her face. As she worked through her routine, she thought of Bakugo, and of Todoroki and she wondered what Aizawa would do to help.

Because it was clear that something was going on with blonde, something bad enough to make even Dnyamight, nationally recognised war hero to run off in fear. He shouldn’t be made to go home, not if even mentioning his mother caused that reaction.

Everything Ochako had heard about Mitsuki Bakugo had always seemed a little off to her. She could remember seeing her on a few occasions, sports festivals and parent days at school. She had been particularly hard on her son, constantly berating him and critiquing his mistakes.

One time, she had even slapped him on the back of his head, hard enough one of her rings had scratched him and stained some of his hair pink with blood.

Mituski Bakugo was a hard woman, who always strove for perfection and it seemed her son was an extension of this, her husband a shadow which followed her loyally a step behind.

Although Ochako vividly remembered Bakugo fighting back, resulting in screaming matches so bad Jiro had had to put on noise cancelling headphones to deal with it, but it would always end the same way. Mituski would mention something in a hushed tone, too quiet for anyone else to make out and Bakugo would freeze in place, a marionette whose strings had suddenly been cut mid performance.

There would be no more yelling after that.

Ochako wondered how she could bring it up without seeming suspicious. She leapt out of her window and into the night sky, rising higher and higher into the blanket of stars. Perhaps she could leave an anonymous note of some kind detailing her worries.

Yes, that would have to do. She didn’t particularly want to get involved, but it was either that or let Bakugo potentially go home to a less than ideal home life.

He deserved so much better than that.

Even though Bakugo was… rough around the edges, even though he was loud and sometimes downright mean, she knew what a good person he was. He was the one who would cook most nights, always making them delicious meals under the guise of ‘not wanting their shitty processed crap’. He was the one who always respected others boundaries and was so considerate to others in his own way. It was Bakugo who bought Jiro the noise cancelling headphones, who secretly bought Midoryia a limited edition All Might figurine to add to his collection for his birthday, who searched for two hours to find Koda’s missing rabbit when she had escaped from her hutch in his room.

Katsuki Bakugo was a spiky, mean faced barking Pomeranian who cared more about his classmates much, much more than he let on.

Ochako decided it was more than time for someone to return the favour.

She wrote out the note carefully, trying to change her handwriting to look as different as possible during the quiet moments at work. She would simply slip it in between the sheets of homework that would be collected in the next morning and let the adults deal with the rest and if nothing happened she would try Nezu.

When Hagiwara and his goons walked in, Ochako wasted no time, asking him to meet her after work for the first time.

His eyes widened in shock, before he grinned in triumph, but she didn’t care.

Ochako was going home soon anyway. She would need some extra money if she wanted to buy her parents a nice meal to celebrate.

Chapter Text

Parties within 2-A always followed a set pattern.

The first part was always the same. Sato baked a cake, a haphazard banner was constructed and someone (usually Toji) would blow up balloons to decorate. The whole class would rock up to celebrate, even if they usually only stayed for a few minutes. After that, it would devolve into a chaotic free for all, a lawless land where anything could happen.

It was an experience that suited some more than others. Kaminari loved it of course and surprisingly Midoryia did too( even if he did shed an excessive amount of tears). Bakugo was usually grumpy and reluctant, but never put up too much of a fuss. No, it was Shinso they’d had to drag into the room earlier in the year. Bound up in Mr.Aizawa’s scarf to celebrate.

Mina was all over the whole party thing and had turned her last birthday into a full blown rave, somehow inviting half the school to join in what was the ‘most epic party of the year’.

(She had since been banned from hosting anything on school property without permission again.)

Ochako didn’t mind the tradition all that much, considering her birthday lay so close to Christmas that the two were sort of merged into one big party. In fact, she much preferred it, because that was overwhelming enough.

Her job for that day was simple- keep Tsu out of the dorms common area and prevent her from running away if she ever tried to make a break for it. (They had learnt from Shinso very well in that respect.) the role was easy enough, Tsu was one of her closest friends after all. The two of them holed up in her room, watching a trashy dating show and chatting through it, Ochako curling up under a green fuzzy blanket on the bed in a poor imitation of their teacher.

She would do anything in her power to ensure her friend enjoyed her special day. Tsu deserved to have the time of her life, so Ochako ignored the headache pounding in her head, forcing the sharp ache to the side as she grounded herself in the room. Nothing would distract her from making Tsu happy, certainly not some stupid head pain.

Ochako was a hero in training! She dealt with worse on a regular basis and she still got through the day fine. Today would be no different.

“I don’t understand why they don’t just communicate with each other, ribbit.” Tsu complained, staring intensely at the couple arguing on her laptop.

“Because it’s for the viewers! Plus he’s like totally in love with the redhead.” Ochako pointed out.

“I’m never letting you pick a show ever again.”

“You told me to pick!”

Tsu threw a pillow at her face.

“We can watch another All Might special if you want?” She offered, recovering swiftly and throwing the projectile back. The two stared at each other, before bursting into a fit of giggles as they pictured Midoryia’s face when they told him they’d watched one without him.

The poor boy would be devastated, and he’d already seen them all like thirty times.

“I’m putting on something else. They make my skin dry out.”

“Everything makes your skin dry out when you don’t like it.” Ochako narrowed her eyes at her friend in accusation.

“My skin is sensitive to good TV, ribbit.” Was the smart ass reply.

She didn’t fight back as Tsu put on some random action movie, her mind drifting back to that morning.

She’d offered to help Iida to collect in the homework for Aizawa, something she did on occasion so it wouldn’t be too strange for her to offer. As she went around her half of the room, she’d slipped the note between Sero and Koda’s answer sheets before depositing them on her teachers desk, with no one anyone the wiser.

But had it been the right thing to do? Was she even in a position to get involved?

Post clarity had hit her like a bullet train at full speed, smashing into her from nowhere. What if she’d just made things more difficult for Bakugo? What if Aizawa wasn’t able to help him and he ended up taking the fall for trying to accuse his mom of child abuse or something? What if she’d made a mountain out of a mole hill and Bakugo was simply upset at the vulnerability of exposing how much his parents meant to him?

That thought didn’t sit quite right with Ochako. There were just too many pieces that didn’t fit quite right. She was sure she wasn’t the only one in class to notice, sure that someone must’ve seen the inconsistencies, the strange behaviour he sometimes adopted. Maybe she should’ve just gone to him first, told Bakugo of her suspicions and offered to help him out.

But there was no way he would’ve allowed that. Prideful stubborn Bakugo, who relied solely on his own skill and knowledge almost exclusively, who still struggled on occasion to rely on his team would probably just shut her down and tell her to ‘fuck off’. Then he’d probably find a way to make sure she never said a word to anyone ever again and just live with it.

Bakugo deserved so much more than to just live with it.

And if nothing happened then hell, she wasn’t above a little light kidnapping. Todoroki and Bakugo could just sleep in her living room until they turned eighteen or until the school opened up permanent dorms for the students who couldn’t return home. Ochako was many things, but she was not someone who left her friends or family to suffer.

If everyone had a role in life, hers was to make sure those she loved were always happy.

She would do anything she had to for that goal to be achieved. She would work herself to the bone if it meant letting her parents relax for once in their lives, face the full blown wrath of Bakugo Katsuki if it meant he never had to deal with his horrible mother again- for any of her classmates for that matter. She would give up everything she had if it meant putting a smile on her friend’s face and she would grin at them all the while.

That was Ochako’s mission in life and it didn’t matter to her how worn out her face looked, how her eye bags seemed to sink ever lower down her cheeks or how sometimes she’d loose minutes at a time during the day.

So despite the raging headache and her bone deep exhaustion, Ochako turned her full attention to her friend and kept her entertained until her party was ready.

She always loved class parties. The air was filled with excitement and the smell of cake as they finally descended an hour later. Someone had hung up the happy birthday banner with small kawaii frogs on each end, surrounded by green and black balloons.

Kaminari released a stream of confetti in the air and the whole class screamed happy birthday at Tsu, who broke into a smile at the arrangement before her.

“Thanks everyone.” She said, stepping bravely into the swirling vortex of well wishers and over stimulated teenagers.

Ochako watched for a moment, pleased at how it had all panned out, before she made a beeline for the snack table. She would need all the energy she could get before she was asked to do karaoke or dance battle with Aoyama, Sero and Kaminari with Mina and Hagakure.

She chatted with Deku, tried to teach Todoroki the Macarena and convinced Sato to let her have the first frog cookie hot from the oven.

Ochako floated Ojiro in the air for fun with Tokoyami and challenged the birthday girl to a game of who could eat the most grapes. (Which she lost to the suprise of no one, despite being made into a new class meme of ‘Chako chipmunk, which was kind of offending, but funny enough for it not to matter too much.)

They sung Tsu happy birthday and devoured the three tiered fruit cake around the dinner table before it was demanded that presents would be opened, the whole class migrating to the couches, eager to see who had gotten what.

Ochako always loved watching other people open their gifts, especially when it was her own and she made the person truly smile in joy. It was hard, finding someone the perfect gift but she always loved the challenge and Tsu was no exception.

A new poster of a band she liked from Jiro, fuzzy slippers from Mina. Deku had of course gotten her some Selkie merch, eerily similar to the Selkie key chain Bakugo had picked out. Todoroki had given her a stupidly expensive gift voucher to her favourite coffee shop, whilst Momo had gotten her a hand made tea she had made specifically for Tsu in mind.

And then she opened Ochako’s gift.

“Wow, ribbit, it’s so soft and good for sensitive skin too. Thanks Ochako! I love it it.” She immediately wrapped it around her neck and hugged her quickly, before returning to the task at hand. From anyone else, it would’ve felt insincere, but from Tsu it was like being bestowed the greatest of honours.

“Glad you like it!” She beamed. Her cheeks ached, but it was worth it. The late nights, everything with Hagiwara had been worth it, all for that moment. She would do it all a hundred times over if it meant seeing her friend like that again.

Ochako was so, so happy she made her friend smile like that, even if a small twisted part of her was jealous. And how pathetic was that? Jealous of a scarf that she herself had bought as a gift!

As if to counteract the negative emotions that were beginning to creep up inside of her, Ochako threw herself at the party with even more force than before.

She talked with Koda about the new variant of carrots he was feeding his bunny and promised to stop by for a visit later that weekend. She coerced Shinso into playing charades with her which somehow ended up with them winning and tag teamed with Kirishima to destroy them all at beer pong.

(Somehow Sero had sourced a large quantity of booze for the occasion and Ochako wasn’t one to pass on a challenge, so all in all it was a pretty dangerous conversation.)

She helped DJ with Jiro and was only stopped when she and Aoyama tried to turn him into a floating disco ball to light up the party, by a pissed off looking Bakugo who had come to shut the party down as they were disturbing his rest. She’d pouted, complained but ultimately helped clean up and go to bed without much work from others. Sure, she did have to help wrangle Kaminari, but they had to do that even when he was sober so it wasn’t too much of an ask.

Ochako also had the pleasure of trying to put Midoryia to bed, which was so much harder due to the fact he had the biggest puppy dog eyes in the world and his freckles certainly did not detract from his cuteness.

It would’ve probably been even more effective if she actually still liked him, but she’d come to terms with her little crush early on into the war, mainly because if hadn’t actually been a crush. Sure she liked Midoryia and she looked up to him, but that was all it was.

His hero was All Might. Her hero was Deku, the one who fought against all the odds and came out on top, who still hammered away about heels and statistics even when half the world knew his name. The one who still struggled at any math apart from the numbers he saw relating to heroes. He annoyed her occasionally and Ochako knew she could never actually date the guy, because in her mind he has always been so pure, so innocent that she couldn’t even imagine doing anything more than hold his hand.

And so she’d tucked him into bed, giggling to herself in a semi- delusional state and tottered back to her own room, collapsing in a heap on the sheets.

She would definitely be sleeping well.

Today had been a very, very good day. It had shown her how much her work had paid off, how there was still light at the end of the tunnel for her. It would all be worth it in the end. She couldn’t afford to give up now

Chapter Text

Days began to blur together as February came to a close. Shoji’s birthday came and went, marked with another party and Ochako’s life fell into a monotonous routine.

School, gym, homework, work. Sleep. School, gym, homework, work, Hagiwara, sleep. There was never enough sleep, it felt like she was constantly chasing for more, but it taunted her just out of reach.

School.

Gym.

Homework.

Work.

Again.

And again.

And again.

By sacrificing more and more of her precious down time for homework and studying, she’d managed to stabilise her grades at last, cementing herself as eleventh overall in the class. Dead centre, the border between top and bottom.

In practicals she was consistently in the top five, always ranking top of the class for rescue related scenarios which had become her main point of pride as finals loomed in the horizon. Due to the circumstances surrounding the war, the tests had been significantly adjusted and they would only be sitting the written exams.

Every student had shown their prowess in the field, one way or another. They had all proved that they deserved their spot through more blood, sweat and tears than should’ve been acceptable.

Late nights soon became all nighters, with Ochako only getting a few hours sleep at a time. The rest of the class weren’t faring much better from the exhausted expressions she was surrounded with on a daily basis.

The nightmares were becoming more and more frequent as the year anniversary approached, forcing more of her friends back to the therapist offices with tight lips and tear stained cheeks. It was easy to forget sometimes with all they had been through that they were just kids.

But they kept on surviving, pushing through the endless questions and essays, trudging forwards trying desperately to force themselves back into the mould of high schoolers once more.

And so Ochako tried harder than ever to make her friends happy during the breaks, when they were most likely to crack. She found them their favourite snacks and organised games nights (even though she always left them early and was rarely able to play a single round). She dolled out hugs to anyone who seemed even remotely distraught and had made it known she was always free for a chat.

If she skipped a few meals here and there because she was too tired to eat, or too busy helping someone else, no one really noticed, not even Ochako herself. If she was losing sleep because someone had called her up for a three am chat of because Hagiwara had been more insistent on seeing her lately, no one was any the wiser. And sure, she looked a little clammy, her lips looked kind of cracked, but it was exam season. It was normal.

She drifted through her life in that manner, slowly detaching from herself in favour of those around her. She didn’t need any mochi, but Sero definitely needed that chocolate bar. Midoryia simply had to have someone to watch his favourite All Might documentary with when Bakugo’s death resurfaced in his dreams.

It was normal Ochako behaviour, if anything. People probably would’ve been more worried if she hadn’t been around to help.

Hug. Smile. Make them laugh. Rinse, repeat and sprinkle in some ditzy advice. Listen to Koda for four hours talk about the nature of bird societies, quiz Jiro on eighties rock music from Europe, help Kirishima plan his next date with Mina.

It was easy enough. Gradually, Ochako stopped thinking of that purple scarf she had so desperately wanted once. She forgot just how much she loved those strawberry mochi that went on sale every other week at the supermarket, making them just cheap enough for her to buy them without much guilt.

On the rare occasion she felt ready to explode, she talked to Suzuki at work about physics and the stars and then she was fine again. Fine to deal with everyone else’s problems. Fine to sleep with Hagiwara, who had started bringing her flowers on the shifts he knew better than to ask her to stay with him for. Fine to smile and nod and say what everyone wanted her to say.

And no. She wasn’t tired.

Ochako would not let herself be tired. She was completely and utterly fine, content with her life as it was.

Perhaps not the fainting at the gym a week before finals fine, but fine enough.

Not that she actually remembered the whole fainting aspect. One moment she had been getting off the treadmill, ready to hit the leg machines with a vengeance because she was dying kick someone’s face in. But obviously that was very unheroic and she couldn’t actually go through with it, no matter how many times she thought she saw a villain in the corner of her eye.

She was just stressed from the upcoming exams, that was all. Unwilling to wait another day to return home to her parents. A little jumpy from that creepy guy at work the night before.

Ochako remembered getting off the machine, grabbing her water bottle and phone in case anyone tried to call her. She remembered walking across the room, pausing briefly in surprise when she realised almost her entire class had somehow filled the space during the time she’d been running that awful ten minute incline.

The Bakusquad, the Dekusquad, Tokoyami and co, was what Monoma in the far corner glaring at Todoroki?

There had been a buzzing noise in her ears, she remembered that too. And she had turned around, because suddenly Shinso was right in front of her and she could see his gorgeous lilac hair. (How she wished she could have had such lovely hair. Her boring brown locks made her even more of a plain Jane in her eyes. Nothing like the bubble gum pink or the lavender of her classmates.)

Ochako had seen his mouth move, but the words were murky, like he wasn’t making any sound at all and then- and then… nothing.

She woke up with a start, flying upwards in bed. Except it wasn’t her bed, she wasn’t in her room at all. It was the infirmary. Ochako could tell by just a glance and a whiff, because every good U.A. hero course student could identify the room in a mere second. Sometimes it felt like they spent half of their high school life in that room.

“Oh no. No, no no, no, no!” She chanted. Ochako didn’t really know what had happened and to be honest, she didn’t really care. All she knew was that she hadn’t been able to finish her gym rota and she’d missed meeting up with Hagakure now most likely and-

The time.

She flailed around until at last she was able to find her phone on the bedside table, along with her bottle of water and some tablets. She ignored them and instead turned on her phone, to discover she was already five minutes late for work.

“No.” She whispered in horror, tugging at a strand of her hair repeatedly. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be true.

“Uraraka dear, good to see you up. You gave your friends quite a scare you know.” Recovery Girl said, shuffling over to her bed when she realised she had woken up.

Oh.

It wasn’t some strange dream her tired mind had conjured up. She had been tugged back, violently hitting the earth from her perch in the sky. A lead balloon, smashing into the soil below. It was as if an asteroid had smashed into her, knocking her off of her axis and making her spin dangerously off kilter.

She needed to go. She needed to get to work and make her life revert back to the routine she had meticulously built over the past few months.

What if she got fired? How would she help her parents out then? Who would pay for her friend’s presents?

That dead end waitressing job in a seedy part of town was all that was keeping her life together at that point. She had to do whatever it took to keep it until she could finally start hero work for real and finally get a decent salary.

“Thanks for the help, but I have to leave.” She told the old woman, already swinging herself out of the bed and grabbing her stuff. She could probably make it in twenty minutes if she hurried. Her vision was swimming, but she had dealt with worse and had been completely fine. She’d work out what had happened tomorrow.

“Just a minute! You need to rest-“ the door had already slid shut, leaving Recovery Girl in the infirmary as she sprinted away.

There was no time for makeup that evening, just as there was no time to carefully over float to avoid triggering any U.A. alarms. She had to just risk it and hope for the best.

Suzuki didn’t look too happy with her when she rocked up seventeen minutes later, face red from exertion.

“You could’ve called.” Was all he said, side eyeing her hard.

“Sorry… villain attack.” She huffed out, already knitting an apron on and pulling out her math sheet. “My phone got broken.”

From the corner of her eye she saw her co worker soften slightly, understanding instead of irritation. It was a perfectly believable reason to be late out of nowhere after all.

They settled into their usual rhythm and slowly, the night righted itself once more. Back to her rhythm. Back to her plan. She doubted that Suzuki would let it slip to their manager. If he did, she’d simply remind him about how she’d covered for him once on short notice so he could go out for a date with his partner for their anniversary.

It felt slimy and all too villain-like for a future hero, but Ochako had to prioritise her very real job now than her theoretical one in the future. Aspiring to be a hero didn’t earn her money, being a waitress and barista did.

But things quickly reverted to their baseline. Suzuki said nothing else and eventually the soothing ambiance of the cafe eased her nerves.

Slowly but surely, Ochako allowed her mind to float again, up, up and away from the reality of her life.

She quite liked swimming in the stars of her subconscious. If only she never had to leave at all- but life had their favourites and Ochako Uraraka was not one of them. So she worked on her school stuff, made coffee with a grin and when the time came, walked hand in hand with Hagiwara to the hotel down the street, just as she did yesterday, and every day before that.

Because Ochako was fine. She was completely and utterly fine.

***

Recovery Girl watched Uraraka sprint out of the room in what seemed to be pure terror. She had been pale as a ghost and from what the old lady could tell, nowhere near her top condition. Something was clearly wrong with the girl, especially if she had fainted out of nowhere like that for no apparent reason.

Uraraka had frequented the infirmary lately, she recalled. But it had never been for herself. She’d accompany her classmates or come to bring them work or snacks, always there to cheer them up with a story or joke if they were in for more than a broken bone or two.

She’d never seen anything like it before. Certainly not on that scale. Up until that moment, the old lady had found it extremely impressive that Uraraka took such great care of all of her classmates. But now, as she considered the girls exhausted features, the dead eyes so at odds with that dazzling smile of hers, recovery girl found herself extremely concerned.

Even heroes needed to have a break and it was clear to her now that Uraraka was doing everything but that.

She sighed heavily and pulled out her phone. She hated to use the thing really, but something like that couldn’t be ignored, even if it was an indecent hour to call someone. She dialled the number, cursing under her breath until they finally picked up on the last right.

“Aizawa, we have an issue with one of your students.”

“Which one is it this time?” He said, already sounded dejected.

“It’s Uraraka.”

“Uraraka?”

“Yes.” Recovery Girl pursed her lips in a grim line. “And I believe it’s quite dire indeed.”

Chapter Text

Hitoshi was an insomniac. He was up most nights whether he liked it or not and once he had moved into the 2-A dorms, he’d quickly discovered it was much better to be awake in be common area than it was in the confines of his room. There was something about the wide open space that soothed him in a way that even the comfort of his bed was unable to do. If he couldn’t sleep he might as well be as relaxed as possible after all.

He didn’t actually descend until around one am when most of the stragglers of the class had cleared up, so he could well and truly have the space to himself, only punctuated by late night snackers as they searched for something to munch on in the fridge.

It was tranquil, down in the common area. Peaceful even. It was the perfect place to read, finish off some work or just listen to music. Sometimes, he would even fall asleep on the couch only to be woken up by the stomping of Bakugo as he headed off to the gym at an ungodly hour of the morning.

Except it had all changed a few months ago, when at three thirty am the front door had opened and none other that Uraraka slipped through.

By then, everyone was aware of how to open the door without triggering the registration system, which tracked who had come and gone at what time. It had been Kaminari who had triggered first after curfew had fallen and it had also been him who surprisingly found a way around it. (It appeared even he had two brain cells to rub together on occasion, though Hitoshi was under no illusions of had clearly been a fluke of some kind.)

It was simple really. Just insert your dorm key card until there was only a tiny slither poking out of the slot. It opened the door but since the chip to register the student wasn’t completely in to be scanned, it wasn’t registered. Everyone knew how to do it, especially since the windows were closed automatically at eleven pm to discourage sneaking out and break ins.

Everyone had used it one time or another, but usually they were back by one. Two at the latest considering how gruelling the hero course was.

So what had Uraraka been doing up so late?

Hitoshi had nearly fallen off of the couch in shock when he heard the door open and close, the noise seemed deafening in the quiet hours of the night. When he’d peaked over the pillows to see just who exactly had walked in he was shocked to say the least.

He never would’ve guessed in a million years it would be Uraraka. Did she have a secret boyfriend or something? Or maybe it was late night training of some kind?

Usually, Hitoshi would give his classmates some shit for walking in late. Usually it then followed him helping them get to bed as they had mostly consumed some form of alcohol or soft drug. He was about to say something to the gravity girl, when she walked into the dim moonlight and he halted, mouth open, at her appearance.

Uraraka was his friend and classmate. He knew what she looked like and he knew for a fact her face was almost permanently etched into some expressive form of emotion. A smile, a determined look for missions, the cheeky grin when she was about to do something funny. Hitoshi was observant, he liked to sit back and figure other people out and he knew Uraraka as well as he knew the rest of them.

The person in front of him was definitely not his classmate, or any version of the class mate he knew and had fought alongside with.

It was like staring at an empty shell. A moving life sized puppet of Uraraka that had managed to capture her likeness exactly, but without managing to recreate any of her warmth, her vitality, her soul. Her eyes looked unfocused as she wandered to the staircase, her hair a mess. She was wearing all black- an outfit he didn’t even know she owned considering how much she liked to wear pink and other pastel colours- and for some unknown reason, had her school bag slung over one shoulder.

It didn’t make any sense. Perhaps Hitoshi was dreaming, or making things up from lack of sleep again. He watched her slip out of the room before returning back to his position on the couch, trying his best to sleep because there was no way that had been his class mate. No way in hell.

He almost believed it had been a hallucination, because the next day she was completely fine. Smiling and laughing as usual, making strange remarks and giggling with Mina at lunch. It was like some sort of twisted dream his mind had conjured up.

Except that night, it happened again.

Maybe Hitoshi could’ve chalked it up to his eyes playing tricks on him once more, if it didn’t continue occurring. Four days a week Ochako Uraraka would waltz in at three thirty am looking like a ghost of her formal self, only to reappear at class each morning as if nothing had ever happened.

No one seemed to be aware of her night time escapades and Hitoshi knew that if he hadn’t seen her coming back from where ever the hell it was that she went, he would never have been able to guess either.

Sure she looked a little tired, a little paler than usual, but no one ever questioned it if they noticed. She was still the same bubbly girl she always had been. She seemed fine, content and happy.

And so Hitoshi didn’t say a word to her about it. She didn’t want anyone to know and he would respect that. Whatever it was didn’t seem to be impacting her all that much and as long as she wasn’t suffering from it what was the point of making her uncomfortable? It wasn’t like she was coming back high out of her mind each night or trying to start a flash mob at one in the morning (something he would never let Mina live down.)

Where ever Uraraka was going, it was important enough for her to spend long hours each night away from the dorms and sure, maybe Hitoshi could’ve ratted her out to Aizawa for skipping curfew, maybe he could’ve asked her what was really going on during that time.

But Hitoshi had his own issues to worry about. Mainly, where the hell he was supposed to live now the dorms were being shut down.

He’d been skipping from foster home to foster home most of his life. The stint in the dorms had been one of the most stable periods in a long time and he wasn’t ready to give it up to be shoved back into the system after everything he had been through. Plus, there was always the small risk he could be moved somewhere too far away from UA to justify him staying at the school. He had worked far too hard to let it all go now.

Hitoshi was also aware that the school knew about his predicament and he was more than aware of what his teachers wanted to do to ensure he could continue his education.

It had been hard to worry so much about Uraraka when he was in the middle of talks to figure out where he would spend the next year and a bit with his English and homeroom teachers. Slowly, her late night appearances stopped being so novel and began to fade into an expected part of his day.

Hitoshi had been warned well before the rest of his class about how the dorm system could be collapsing due to government laws or whatever the hell it was that was shutting it down. He’d been told because they were ‘concerned for his wellbeing’ or something like that. So Aizawa and Yamada had sat him down one day and asked him about living with them for the foreseeable future until the school could reopen more permanent residences on site.

That was also when he found out they had been married for three years and honestly that had been more of a surprise to him than the offer to live with said couple because he was honestly sure Aizawa was a zombie who slept in a trash heap somewhere.

They’d given him a few weeks to mull it over, which Hitoshi spent alternating between ‘of fucking course’ and having panic attacks in the bathroom because also what the fuck? How the fuck? If he said yes he’d have to live with his teachers, what would he even say to them? What if it was all some sort of PR stunt? Would he have to call them sir at the house? What if he caught them making out or worse, naked.

But in the end he said yes, potential nudity be damned. He could deal with a little awkwardness if it meant remaining in the hero course, if it meant being able to train with Aizawa more and not have to worry about whether he’d be shuffled along to the next place with only a few moments notice. It was highly unorthodox, but that seemed to be UA’s motto, right underneath a bedazzled neon Plus Ultra sign.

So yeah, Hitoshi did kind of normalise Uraraka’s routine. He’d gotten used to her soft shuffling across the floor, to the quiet click of the door. It was the same every day without exception.

So when she didn’t make it back one night until fifteen minutes before Bakugo would come stomping down, Hitoshi definitely noticed. He noticed because she’d woken him up with the door, slamming it shut instead of her usual quiet closing. Hitoshi had nearly gotten into a battle stance in panic, only to realise it was just her and promptly relax again.

And then he heard her cry.

Well, what he assumed was her crying at any rate because the only noises he could hear were tiny sniffles, like something a rabbit or mouse would make. Pathetically small whimpers like she was trying her best not to be heard, as if she didn’t want anyone to know she was crying.

“It wasn’t even that bad. Stop being stupid. It didn’t hurt. If doesn’t even mean anything it’s a stupid social construct.” She had muttered to herself, sounding heart broken and angry. “Get over it.”

“It doesn’t matter. You need the money.” She repeated, over and over again like a broken record on loop. “It doesn’t matter. You’re fine.”

Hitoshi’s mind was whirring at what she could’ve meant and who she had been potentially talking to. He braved poking his head up a few moments later to see if she needed to talk, but Uraraka was long gone. He hadn’t even heard her walk away.

He decided to wait until it happened again to say anything, completely out of his depth at how to approach the situation, especially when he saw her back to her usual bubbly self at school thay day.

But it didn’t happen again, not for a good few weeks and even then she didn’t cry or slam the door or even make herself known. Soon it was pretty common for her to creep in just before blasty awoke, creeping in just as she did when she came back at three thirty. Eventually on the days she came home earlier, she would have a bouquet of flowers in her hands.

The same bouquet that would magically appear on the dining table the next day for the class to gush over. It had become one of the biggest mysteries in class, about who was bringing the flowers.

And still, Hitoshi hid himself, because he just didn’t know what to say. So he stayed in his spot and he observed and did nothing, until one day at lunch he watched Bakugo storm off and Mina break down, only for Ochako to come rushing over and take her outside.

That was when it hit him. She was always there for her classmates, always on hand to lend an ear or offer support and he had never, not once seen anyone do the same for her. And he was no better, because he was simply watching her come in broken, night after night.

So he tried to talk to her about it during the day, tried to get her to tell him what was going on, or even just not be so sparkly and happy all the time, but it didn’t work. At night, it always felt wrong to approach her, like if he even made a move she would break into a million pieces and he would never be able to put her back together again.

That was when he remembered Aizawa and all he had done for Hitoshi. Maybe he could help Uraraka too. Wasn’t that what teachers were for anyway?

Hitoshi never had much faith in adults until he came to UA and to be honest, he still didn’t trust ninety per cent of them. But Aizawa had earned his trust in a million different tiny ways, so one day, during training he came clean.

It was awkward and stiff and sounded a little stupid in his own ears but Aizawa’s face seemed to look grimmer at each thing he pointed out. Hitoshi felt like such a coward, not going directly to his classmate but going above her head, but he didn’t know what else to do. Who would want help from someone like him? How could be a true hero if he couldn’t even try to help his friend?

Guilt began to gnaw at him as nothing seemed to have changed. Uraraka still came home late, the flowers still came, she still smiled in classes and at lunch. Had talking to Aizawa done anything at all? So he tried his best to help her out in small ways.

He would take over her cooking nights and help out on English questions she got stuck on. He’d make excuses for the whole class for sleep early so she had a chance to escape and catch a few hours of peace before wherever the hell it was that she went. It wasn’t nearly enough, but he tried his best.

And then she fainted in the gym. Right. In front. Of him.

After he carried her to Recovery Girl and after he’d explained it all to Aizawa and some of it to his friends Hitoshi made a plan. He would talk to Uraraka and find out what the fuck was going on before she ended up doing something drastic.

Hitoshi Shinso was not the kid he had been a year ago. He was training to be a hero damn it. So he would find out the truth and do everything he could to help his classmate, no matter what.

Chapter Text

Shoto liked to think Uraraka was one of his best friends. Not friends in the same sense as Izuku, he wasn’t sure anyone could make him feel like Izuku did, but one of his most trusted confidants nonetheless. She knew his humour and liked to double team with him to cause chaos, something he deeply appreciated as he had found a newfound love of causing mischief and mayhem after living out from under his father’s thumb.

He realised he quite enjoyed making people a little confused or agreeing to stupid things, or in the case of Bakugo exploding over trivial matters and it had all been thanks to Uraraka. Shoto was honestly a little suprised at how much had been down to Uraraka.

She had helped him use the washing machine for the first time when they moved into the dorms, lending him some of her washing powder and teaching him to separate his lights from his darks. It had been her who had been his first call when he’d panicked over getting his hair cut, unsure of what to do. Uraraka had sorted it out in a flash, helping him escape from the hair salon and then sitting him down to walk him through all the different styles he could have, or even to keep growing it out if he so wished.

It was the first time he could decide for himself how to have his hair, after all. It was quite a big deal.

When he wanted to ask questions on jokes that didn’t make any sense or why Jiro was tearing up over a song, Uraraka was his first port of call.

So why then, was she not talking to him when she looked so sad? And why did no one else seem to notice?

It had taken Shoto a while to notice himself, but that was only because he’d been banned from jumping to conclusions after that one time he had accused Izuku as ‘All Mights secret love child’ or whatever. The signs had been so minute that at first he thought he was making it up, because Uraraka was well… Uraraka.

She was constantly grinning and laughing with others, bouncing from one person to the next with astonishing ease always knowing just what to say. It didn’t make sense for anyone to act that happy and be sad.

At least, that’s what he used to think. Now, it was clear to him that people could easily put up fronts to hide their true feelings. Case in point, Uraraka.

After a few weeks of collecting evidence (he recorded everything in a notebook, just like a detective would. He’d recently been introduced to Sherlock Holmes and he was a little obsessed.) Shoto decided to turn to the person he believed was most suited to the task of having a genuine conversation and getting to the bottom of just what the heck was going on.

Izuku Midoryia.

“I think Uraraka is sad.” He said suddenly one day. The two of them were sitting alone in Izuku’s room doing home and Shoto had been so anxious about the whole thing because they had been sitting so close together and their knees had brushed and he honestly didn’t know how to handle that, so the words just fell out of his mouth.

“Really? She seems fine to me.” Izuku said, but his forest green eyes had dilated in the concerned thinking way he only got when he was seriously considering something. “But then again she is really good at hiding what she thinks…”

“There was mochi yesterday for dessert and she didn’t eat a single piece.” Shoto supplied helpfully, glad he had been keeping track of her odd behaviour recently.

“That really is strange. I remember once last year she had food poisoning but she still ate some.” He muttered, looking down at his papers hard in thought. “You want me to talk to her?”

“Yes. You have a better understanding than I do.”

“I’ll try my best!”

In hindsight, Izuku had probably been the worst choice to ask.

Whilst he was usually amazingly perceptive when it came to people who were upset, his only real experience had been with people like himself and Bakugo, with a little bit of Shinso and Iida thrown in. So when Uraraka had hit him with the ‘it’s just cramps’ argument Izuku had folded like a house of cards.

Shoto was very much aware of what cramps entailed- his sister and Mina had been extremely explicit at several different points in his life- and so he was very much aware that the effects didn’t usually last for weeks at a time and usually they involved more chocolate and throat punching. (In shoto’s humble opinion Kirishima was extremely lucky to have the quirk that he did.)

He was more than a little sceptical at this excuse, but since Izuku had remained an alarming red shade most of the day Shoto had decided to turn to the only other person he knew that would be able to handle the situation.

Mina Ashido.

If there was some sort gang in their class, she would definitely be the leader (despite whatever illusions Bakugo would have on the matter). There was no one you wanted to piss off than Alien Queen. Not with her connections, fountains of gossip and a boyfriend literally tougher than steel. She was the only one Shoto knew who stood a at dissolving Uraraka’s defences.

That was how, at nine pm the day after Tsu’s party, Shoto had ended up in Mina’s room along with the rest of the girls for an emergency meeting.

Originally they had planned for Uraraka to be present as well, so that they could have an intervention, but she’d declined after dinner, pleading homework and a lack of sleep. While the sleep thing was definitely true and the homework thing was probably accurate also, Shoto still felt something was off. Uraraka skipping free food? It was improbable.

Mina had complained, then slapped a photo of Uraraka onto one of her giant pink fuzzy pillows to act as a stand in, officially announcing the start of the meeting with a manicure session.

“Would you like a manicure Todoroki?” Tsu offered as Mina pulled out a huge box from thin air. “It’s just painting your nails.”

Oh. He had never experienced something like that before.

“Oh me gosh! You would look so cute with your nails done!” Hagakure squealed. “What colour do you want?”

“He hasn’t said he wants to yet. There’s no pressure, Todoroki.” Momo stepped in, looking a little flustered.

Shoto paused for a moment in thought. It was definitely something new to try and he had no doubts his father would hate it for one reason or another.

“I’ll try it.”

the whole room erupted into cheers as soon an intense game of rock paper scissors was held to determine who would paint and design the ice princes fingers.

In the end it had been Jiro to emerge victorious. He let her do whatever he wanted while the other girls chatted and painted their own nails. It was actually quite enjoyable. If he was ever invited back to girls night, he would accept immediately.

“Does this happen often?”

“Yeah. We do face masks and make up too. Or just watch movies.” Jiro replied, keeping her eyes trained on his pinky finger. “It’s pretty chill.”

“It’s nice.” He agreed, allowing Mina to toss a chocolate into his mouth.

“Hey guys, I think Todoroki is purring.” Tsu whispered on the other side of the room.

“Can we keep him?” Hagakure sighed. “I want to see him with falsies on!”

“His eyelashes are already so long though, would he really need any?” Momo parried.

“But just imagine how sexy his eyes would be! Brain overload!”

“Well… I can’t deny that.”

“Roki would lot hot as fuck with makeup on.” Mina agreed loudly. “You wanna try Todoroki?”

“I would like to experience looking ‘hot as fuck.’” He nodded sagely. “I would also like to try braiding hair. I’ve heard it is a very good bonding activity between friends.”

“My heart. It’s gonna explode!”

“Okay your nails are done. Let them dry for a while and try not to touch anything.” Jiro said suddenly, leaning back to admire her handy work. It was pretty simple, each nail half white and half red to match his hair, except the colours on each hand were opposite sides to his actual hair. It was a little disorienting, but looked extremely neat.

“Thanks.”

He wasn’t sure if he would go for that exact style again, perhaps a plain blue or forest green of black next time, but he did love the way the light shone off his nails and how much more interesting his hands seemed of have become.

“Now that the fun stuff has been completed, let’s talk about why this emergency meeting was called today. Ochako.” Everyone’s attention immediately went to Mina and the pillow with Uraraka’s face on it, currently being half squashed to death by Hagakure.

“Roki, take it away.”

He cleared his throat and peered around the group, suddenly a little unsure. Was it really alright to be telling this many people his thoughts? He didn’t want to spread senseless gossip about a friend, especially if it was all proved false. He also didn’t want to force her into anything or pressure her in any way. Shoto knew what it was like to have others force you down certain roads and he wasn’t sure he could do it to someone like Uraraka.

What if she was just waiting to open up in her home time? Would all of this just exacerbate things? He really had no clue.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’ve noticed somethings off with her too and we all want to help her so it won’t be malicious in any way.”
Momo spoke up. “She deserves to be helped just like how she’s always helping us.”

“Exactly!” Mina agreed.

“I noticed a change in her behaviour a while ago.” He finally admitted, deciding to go with his gut and trust the others. “She’s been more tired than usual too and I don’t believe it’s just from the work load. I think she’s putting on an act pretending to be fine. The other day, she didn’t eat a single piece of mochi.”

There were a few gasps in shock at the last part.

“Sometimes I see her just staring into space. And not the usual spaced out look she gets. It’s more… empty.” Momo agreed.

“Yeah. She definitely seems more distant and sad in a sense? But she’s always smiling so I thought I was overthinking.” Jiro added.

“Have you tried asking her Roki?”

“I tried a few times but I’m unsure of how to get her to tell me what’s going on. I asked Midoryia but…” he trailed off, unsure of how to word it. “She said it was cramps.”

“Ouch. Classic move.” Mina cringed. “He never would’ve stood a chance.”

Shoto must’ve looked a little confused, because some of the girls started giggling and sharing glances.

“It’s an excuse we use on guys all the time to leave us alone, or get out of gym. It works on everyone but Aizawa.” The pink girl explained. “I’m actually kind of proud of her for using it like that.”

“But what are we going to do? She’s not talking to anyone. How can we get her to open up?” Hagakure asked. “We can’t just force her to tell us if she doesn’t want to.”

“I was hoping Mina could talk to her.” Shoto interjected.

“It’ll be tough, Chak’s is an expert at diverting conversation. We may need to tag team this.” Mina said, deep in thought.

“Ribbit, what if Momo invites her to have tea and we start from there?” Tsu suggested. “Tea and snacks will open her up a little.”

Oh. Shoto hadn’t considered that approach before. Now he understood why detectives usually discussed their findings in the dining rooms or gathered around a coffee table. Drinks made people more susceptible to gossip and deep conversations. He would remember that for later.

But was it fair to be plotting like this? How would Uraraka take it? He knew they’d have to confront her at some point, get the truth out of her some way of another, but it still felt… wrong somehow.

In the first year, Izuku had confronted him at the sports festival one on one and in a moment of emotional vulnerability. He’d done if in a way where no one else could’ve gotten involved and he had really helped shift Shoto’s perspective. He would’ve hated it if more people were to insert themselves into the issue, but then he hadn’t really been as close to his other classmates as Uraraka was now.

“Perhaps it would be better for us to all talk to her individually.” He offered. “She may feel overwhelmed otherwise.”

He knew he would’ve. But then again. Uraraka was extremely different to him personality wise. Perhaps she would prefer to have a larger group?

“That’s true.” Tsu agreed.

Perhaps not then, if Tsu was amenable to his suggestion.

“But won’t she find it weird if we all suddenly start trying to talk to her about it at once?” Jiro said. “That would also be pretty overwhelming, at least I would feel that way if it happened to me.”

“Well…”

They quickly dissolved into chatter, suggesting different plans and scenarios of how it could all play out, inserting their own thoughts and feelings on how to proceed.

Whilst initially it had been helpful and he was glad that others shared his worries, Shoto couldn’t help but be annoyed. By discussing and dissecting hypothetical events, they were no longer really focusing on the true issue- Uraraka being sad by something.

It didn’t matter how they approached it if they never actually committed to the plan because they were too busy trying to perfect it.

In that situation, what would Holmes and Watson do? Probably something slightly illegal, but they would also go and talk to the person and get to the bottom once and for all, no matter how awkward or nonsensical it was.

Shoto wasn’t the best at communicating. It was something he’d always struggled with and was only just now learning how to do better at understanding his friends and letting them understand him in return. Before, he’d been too afraid to directly talk to Uraraka for fear of messing up their bond irreparably, but the emergency meeting had taught him a lot in that respect.

It would be so much better for her if he actually tried to communicate with her honestly about how he was concerned about her and how he could help. Even if it came out stilted and slightly threatening.

Shoto wanted to be a good friend, to repay her for all of the kindness Uraraka had shown him.

So he ate the snacks and nodded as the girls discussed strategies around him. Tomorrow, he would make his move.

Chapter Text

Ochako didn’t feel too good in the morning. If wasn’t a sick feeling, like she was about to vomit after using her quirk, or the bone aching exhaustion she was used to. She felt like her world was three seconds away from exploding and she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe recovery girl would try and talk to her, coerce her into another round of therapy or prevent her from field work- prevent her from saving dozens of helpless citizens on some random mental health claim- perhaps that was why she was so on edge.

She was fairly certain that whatever the old lady said she could bypass. It had been a one time thing, an accident really. Ochako was no stranger to pretending things were fine. She’d had to lie to civilians all the time that it would be okay, they were safe now, even in the middle of a battle where anything could’ve happened. She lied to her classmates daily to ensure they didn’t worry about her for no reason. She was training to be a hero after all and what sort of hero allowed others to worry about them?

Ochako was more than used to putting others needs before her own. It was what a true hero did after all.

She thought of Deku and Bakugo in the final battle, of All Might and Midnight and all the other heroes who had lost their lives. Hadn’t they given everything and more to save others?

So she stood at the mirror and stared hard at her reflection, until facing her was a tired- but sunny- Uravity grinning back. Today would be a hard day, she already knew that, after all her classmates would surely have questions about what had happened, but all she had to do was push through. Push past the bone deep exhaustion. Crush the hopelessness creeping up her spine. Just one more day. She could handle a measly twenty four hours no problem. And after that it was only a few more twenty four hours in a row before it would all be over.

It wasn’t long until exams and then after that it was summer vacation and she was free to be with her parents once more. She just had to hold on a little longer.

She had to.

For a split second Ochako’s smile turned into a silent scream of pain, a ghastly melting face with dark holes for eyes and a frown dripping impossibly low from her mouth, before morphing back into her usual features, from the rosy chubby cheeks to the sparkling brown eyes. Everything would be fine. There was no trapped soul in the mirror, no hidden Ochako howling to be let out. She was tired and she wanted to drift away, that was all. Ochako was Ochako still, not the monster she feared was lurking beneath her skin. If only she could just float away for a moment, if only she could allow herself to be up in the clouds for some peace… But unfortunately today she was fully aware of just how firmly on the ground she had to stay.

Sucking in a breath, she shouldered her bag and descended the stairs to start the day.

Breakfast was the usual affair, chatting with Kaminari and Sero (the only other people who woke up late enough to still be eating breakfast when she came down stairs) while others milled around or heading off to class. Easy, simple. They asked her how she was feeling before quickly turning to discuss the best places to score some alcohol, already planning the end of exams event. It was a lucky break really, as it allowed Ochako to pay minimal attention and rarely had to say a word apart from a few gasps, giggles and “Kaminari!”.

Her head was beginning to pound already, a steady thumping at the front of her head between her eyes. It was painful and was sure to only get worse. For a moment, she debated getting some painkillers from Mina, who always had them on hand-

But she couldn’t, because she knew for a fact Jiro would soon be on her period and she always had really bad cramps and was almost always forgetting to buy her own pain medication so relied on the others when she ran out. She couldn’t take that from Jiro, especially when she was in more pain than Ochako. Stealing from the communal medical kit felt wrong too, because what if someone got injured and there wasn’t enough pain killers for them?

She would just have to tough it out, drink water and pray she wasn’t anywhere near Bakugo and his explosions, or forced to face Jiro in combat practise. It wasn’t even that bad when she considered the injuries she’d survived in the past. When had she gotten so weak?

“Hey Uraraka, you okay?” Sero asked, looking a little concerned. “You’re breathing kinda heavy.”

With a start Ochako was thrust back into the conversation, feeling like she had just stepped off a roller coaster or boat and was unsure of how to walk normally. Had she been breathing hard? It did feel like she was a little out of breath. “Sorry! It helps me get rid of… hiccups.”

“Oh, like fake drinking water?” Kaminari asked, looking a little confused. “I never heard of that one before!”

“Yeah, it’s something my parents taught me.” She laughed off, silently thanking her friend’s cluelessness. Sometimes he could be incredibly insightful, but mostly he just wandered through life a little ditsy and extraordinarily energetic. Well, that’s what he showed others at any rate. Ochako was more than aware of how easy it was to fake something like that. But still, she was grateful and the conversation soon regained its flow, making for a soothing white noise as they headed towards class.

She really should’ve been more prepared for the looks of her friends and even the concern (what she thought was concern anyway) that seemed to be emanating from her teacher, who was currently in what she liked to call his ‘caterpillar mode’ on the floor. For a second, she froze, deer in head lights once more, before relaxing into it, adjusting herself to the surroundings.

Ochako was literally fine. Just a little scare was all, she just had to convey that to her friends. She was completely back to her happy, bubbly self.

“Hey! How are you? Are you okay now? Do you need to rest some more?” The anxious voice of Deku, who had scrambled up from his seat to get to her side as soon as the door had opened.

“Nope! I’m completely fine, just overworked myself a little I guess.” She giggled. A sheepish smile. She was-

Exhausted

Drained

-fine. Happy, a bit embarrassed but that was all. Everyone overworked themselves occasionally, especially her green haired friend. She couldn’t afford to miss even a day of classes, not when she was barely keeping afloat as it was. Deku would understand. Mina would understand. Aizawa’ would just mutter something under his breath and glare a little and then everything would be normal once more.

What was her normal now? It seemed so much more grey than before. Normal used to mean midnight mochi and movies with friends, face timing her parents almost daily and training till she collapsed with laughter caught in her throat- the wild hysterical kind that expressed pure undiluted joy. Things had been simpler then, kinder to her soul.

Now normal was working thirty hours a week and catching five hours of sleep if she was lucky. Less calls from her parents, gym sessions instead of naps, no more laughing at simple things. Mochi was something she didn’t even dare to think about anymore. Little by little the world seemed to be loosing its shine, exposing the reality inside. Ochako had come face to face with piles of dead bodies left abandoned in streets, had become a child solider to protect other children, to protect adults and police and military alike.

That wasn’t really what kept her up at night, not anymore. She had gone to therapy for that, had learned to accept those parts of her which had been broken and not quite right ever since. No. Now it was nightmares of her parents, withering away without her there to help, it was her friends being crushed under some rubble because she simply wasn’t strong enough to lift the world on her own just yet.

But it would all be over soon. This normal wouldn’t be her normal forever, not if she just worked a little harder. Summer break was right around the corner, she could do this. What were some school exams in comparison to a war?

So Ochako walked to her desk, smiling and chatting as she went. She ignored the strange look Todoroki was giving her and managed to dodge Mina’s suspicious questioning easily enough.

It wasn’t until around lunch time that things really started kicking off.

“Girl lunch.” Mina declared loudly, as soon as the bell rang and an exasperated Snipe had shuffled out of the room. “Roof, five minutes!”

Ochako blinked a few times before finally registering the words in her brain. Todays lessons had been particularly draining for her and it now felt as if her brain had been stuffed with wool, a fine haze seemed to be dividing her from the rest of the world as she sat slightly removed from reality. It was actually kind of comforting, in a way. It gave her space to finally breathe a little more easily compared to the high energy of the classroom when she was in full focus.

“I guess we won’t be able to have lunch together.” Deku said forlornly as he made his way over to her desk. “I made you this list of high iron foods which you should probably start eating, because I heard that low iron can make you faint and you’ve been pushing yourself really hard recently in training and obviously exams are coming up so-“

“Thanks Deku! I really appreciate it!” She interrupted, feeling a little guilty at cutting her best friend off, but her ears were now ringing and his stream of thought wasn’t exactly aiding the situation. “We can always have lunch together tomorrow don’t worry! I’ll see you soon okay?”

“Yeah, that’ll be nice.”

Ochako was always momentarily frozen when she saw Midoriya’s smile. It was like watching a ray of sunshine become human, because every time he pulled his lips upwards into a grin the world seemed just a little brighter, a little easier to deal with. Ochako loved that smile with all her heart.

In another world, she would still be pining after him, hung up on her every word. But Ochako had long since discovered how vast the world was in comparison to an inconsequential crush, she had bigger things to worry about than whether some boy liked her back and wanted to hold her hand. Plus, when she had finally taken time to herself to figure out her feelings after the war, she’d discovered they had shifted from romantic to very much platonic.

Midoryia was one of her people and even though it wasn’t in a romantic sense any longer, it didn’t make the bond any less valuable to her.

Perhaps that was why she couldn’t express to him how she felt. After watching him literally go to hell and back, how could she possibly burden him with more baggage? If anyone deserved a break, it was him.

So she pulled her cheeks upwards and tilted her head just slightly, scrunching her eyes up so he wouldn’t see the pain. It wasn’t a Midoryia smile, Ochako didn’t think she would ever be able to smile quite like him, but it was good enough.

“I’ll see you later then!”

She watched as he scurried off, a cloud of green curls darting into the hallway with Iida. Sometimes she was still shocked at his growth, both mental and physical. It didn’t seem fair to her that whilst the rest of her class were getting insane growth spurts she was stuck barely pushing five foot one. Recently a lot of things were feeling unfair to her. When had she gotten so negative?

It didn’t matter, not when she had to brave her way through a girls lunch, which for some reason also included Todoroki.

Ochako followed the group up to the roof in a bit of a daze, chatting with Tsu and Todoroki as they trekked up the stairs to the rooftop, lunches in tow. She was glad she’d actually remembered to grab something from lunch rush, because the cafeteria was a really long trek away and she was definitely not making it up all those stairs again.

The roof was a little chilly, with a slight breeze ruffling her hair, but she had to admit it was nice being outside. It soothed her, being able to see the fluffy clouds dotting the sky and the wide expanse of blue that seemed to stretch into forever. Ochako was aware that the afterlife looked different for everyone, based off of beliefs and actions or whatever it was that controlled that sort of thing. She just hoped that when she died it would look an awful lot like a blue sky with a hint of sunrise, clouds floating lazily by.

“Thank you all for coming today.” Mina said, uncharacteristically serious. The sudden change in tone yanked Ochako down so fast she flinched.

“Last night ‘Chako, you fainted and recently you’ve been looking a little off. We’re all really worried about you and we want you to know that we are always, always here to listen if you need us.”

“Whatever you’re going through, we will do our best to help you with.” Jiro added. “We really care about you.”

“And if you ever you need to beat someone up discreetly we have your back!” Hagakure announced boldly.

“Don’t worry Ochako. Please let us help you if you need it, ribbit.”

“I have some excellent tea for these sorts of situations.”

She didn’t know how to respond.

Carefully, she scanned her friend’s faces, taking note of the worry and concern with a sinking feeling in her stomach. Suddenly, everything felt too real, the colours were too saturated and everyone was speaking just a touch too loud to be normal. The strange ringing in her ears was back again and the cotton that had previously been stuffed in her head seemed to have migrated down into her throat.

This was bad, very bad. Disastrous.

She’d done the very thing she had been trying to prevent. Instead of protecting her friends, instead of helping them, she’d done the exact opposite and had forced them to stage an intervention just for her! In exam season no less, where pressure was mounting steadily as each day progressed. They didn’t have the time to be worrying about her, so how could she have been so selfish as to let it happen?

Unconsciously, she clenched her hands into fists and it wasn’t until she felt the slight sting in her palms that she was able to pull herself out it. Looking down, she noted with detached interest the eight red semi circles marring her skin. She would have to deal with that later.

“Thank you guys so much! This really means a lot to me.” She said after a few moments, desperately trying to regain some composure as she assessed the situation. She had to diffuse the concern and assure them of her current state being well enough for them not to worry, without looking too fake or forced that it would warrant further concern.

“I think I’ve just been super stressed because of exams and finally going back to see my parents that I’ve been working a little too hard. I’m really sorry for making you guys worry.”

Mina, Tsu and Momo all nodded slightly in agreement at her words. They all knew how much Ochako missed her family.

“It’s been really hard trying to juggle everything, so I promise I’m going to make some changes to my schedule so it won’t happen again!” The promise rang out across the roof, hollow sounding but true enough for all intents and purposes.

“You know, it’s okay if you don’t come to all the group stuff.” Momo said after a moment. “I understand that you want to focus on academics right now and you may need extra rest to compensate.”

“Just don’t isolate yourself from the class.” Jiro finished.

“We all know how much you like to sleep.” Mina grinned, finally lightening the mood a little.

Ochako sighed in relief and grinned at her friends. The crisis had been averted and she even had a new way out of things without raising any more flags. Maybe the intervention wasn’t so completely bad after all.

“I love you guys!”

And with that she flung herself at her friends, crushing them all into hugs as if she could etch her affection into their bones. She really, really didn’t deserve their friendship, not when they had taken the time and the consideration to do all of that just for her.

It was only when she got around to Todoroki did she finally remember he had been there at all, as he had remained so still and so quiet it reminded her of a statue. It seemed a little strange to have him involved in a girls lunch, but she didn’t pay it too much mind. He was one of her closest friends after all and something about his stoic presence always made her a feel at ease.

Tsu was blunt and caring, Iida was uptight and motherly, Midoryia was a bright ball of chatting sunshine and Todoroki was mischievous yet calm. Ochako was more than aware of the emotions that were kept hidden behind his exterior, she had spent more than one night talking them through with him, but still he remained a pillar in her life that seemed to her more unmovable, more unshakeable than even her own parents.

He hugged her like he always did, gently at first as if unsure, but continually tightening until it felt as if he would never let her go.

When she at last pulled away, Ochako felt a part of herself glue together again. A little less damaged, a little less tired. It wasn’t nearly enough, not for everything she had been through, but it was something, it would get her through today.

“You know we can always talk, at any time, correct?” He asked her softly, staring into her soul with his dual coloured eyes. “You don’t have to carry so much on your own.”

Ochako felt a pang in her heart as she recalled Deku’s words from so long ago, so similar to the ones he was repeating now. Her friend had grown and changed so much since the start of the first year.

“I know.” This time her smile almost reached her eyes. “It won’t be too bad once exams are over, I promise.”

“Are you sure-“ he stopped himself mid sentence, seemingly deep in thought. “Okay. I trust you.”

The words were like a knife to her heart. He trusted her to do the right thing, to stop involving and bothering everyone else with her issues. He didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve to deal with her stupid problems. No one did. Why did she always end up burdening those around her?

She made her way back to her seat as the queasy feeling from that morning returned in full force. She had to do better, be better for her friends and her parents. She couldn’t keep failing like this, not when it mattered most.

Instead of letting her thoughts consume her she locked them away, hiding them in the recesses of her mind as she shoved all her energy into the conversation at hand. She had been far too absent in all of their lives lately and now was the perfect time to make up for that fact.

The rest of lunch was spent in joyful chatter, the sweet sound of laughter and gossip filling the air in liu of bird song as they all basked in one another’s presence. Ochako had the joy to discover Todoroki’s involvement in girls night and how he actually did want to return for more nail painting fun, as well as hearing about Tsu’s latest sibling/birthday adventure with her family two nights before.

It reminded her of a simpler time, when the world still retained its sparkly glow around her. It was nice, if not a little disorienting. She couldn’t quite ignore the voice in the back of her head reminding her she no longer quite fit into this version of reality. She was not the naive girl she used to be, but no one had noticed and she didn’t want them to either. She would force herself into that box for the rest of her life if it meant keeping everyone happy.

And so she laughed and ate and giggled along and when the bell rang she skipped arm in arm with Hagakure and Mina, promised Momo she would stop by for some tea. She made it through class and homework and the cafe shift.

Tomorrow they would forget all about her little fainting episode and it would all go back to normal.

She was completely and utterly fine.

Tomorrow she would come back even stronger than ever. Ochako would stop relying on her friends so much and stop burdening them with her issues.

She had to, there was no other choice.

***

Shouto watched her at lunch. He observed how quickly she managed to turn the others on side. He did not believe Uraraka was okay. He knew she was not fine.

And yet, he had no idea what else to do.

She didn’t want to talk to him, or anyone it seemed. He couldn’t mimic what Midoryia had done for him, no matter how hard he had tried. He had no idea what to do in that situation.

It was a very long night for Shouto.

Chapter Text

She stopped space jumping two trees ago and instead just let herself hang in the air, staring blankly at the stars above.

When she was a child, she didn’t want to be a hero, she wanted to be an astronaut. Out there, where gravity meant nothing and everything all at once, where opportunities seemed endless and a whole universe was available for exploration, Ochako knew in her heart she would be home.

There was something in the way those far off stars shone, tiny beacons calling out to her over light years to come and play that captivated her in a way nothing else did.

In her mind, to go to space was to be truly and utterly free from the constraints of the mundane normality of home, of plain old boring earth. Out there she could fly space ships and battle monsters and have the coolest pink space suit anyone had ever seen.

There was no need for her mommy and daddy to be worrying late at night when they thought she was in bed. There was no mean people in school or bad people like on the TV to make her scared. There would only be joy and discovery and adventure.

Ochako longed most of all to adventure.

And then she grew up and she began to understand the world around her. And then everything slowly changed. Her dream slipped through her fingers, sand in the wind and was slowly replaced, little by little, until her space days became a shooting star above.

Distant, cold and largely forgotten unless seen for a split second to wish upon briefly.

Ochako didn’t want to be an astronaut anymore. University was expensive and she wasn’t insanely smart or the best at maths even from a young age. Now she wanted, like so many other kids, to be a hero.

Unlike most of them however, she had actually achieved that goal. She had become her dream.

But on certain nights, a star would catch her eye and she would remember the dreams of a little girl with eyes as wide as plates who had stuck constellations on her ceiling to watch over her as she slept.

Sometimes, when things got a little too hard, Ochako liked to float and imagine herself out there, in the inky nothingness of space. She knew objectively it was almost nihilistic to think about. She could see why most people would find the emptiness overwhelming and suffocating, but to her, it represented a kind of peace she felt sure she could never emulate with her feet on the ground.

Uniquely isolating, yet calming. A peculiar utopia for a peculiar girl with her head belonging to the clouds yet her body firmly below. Ochako also knew she could never visit it, would never achieve the peace she secretly desired.

Not after everything she had seen. Not after everything she had been through.

On her weaker moments however , she couldn’t quite escape the nagging feeling of just letting go. Tonight was one of those moments.

She knew she wouldn’t end up in space. She knew she would die way before she even reached the edge of the atmosphere, but it didn’t stop her what if moments, the half formed dreams cluttering up the recesses of her mind.

Usually, on nights like that she went to bed, allowing herself to dream away the heartache ready for the day ahead. But this time it wasn’t an option, because to dream in that moment would have been to dream of him.

Work hadn’t been too gruelling and for once she had actually understood the English homework that had been set. She had even treated herself to a hot chocolate as a reward. No, it had been after, with Hagiwara.

The feeling of his stale breath against her skin, a disgustingly common occurrence now, and the slightly mouldy ceiling of the seedy hotel that was burned into her retinas had all been bearable. She could handle the sloppy kisses down her neck and the way he spoke to her during it. Maybe once it had scared her beyond words, but now she simply took a step out of herself and took a rare opportunity to just be.

She had to thank Hagiwara for that in some way. A small nicety amongst the mess. The downward spiral he had helped push her down.

He didn’t hurt her really, not physically at any rate. In fact, it was disappointingly easy to go through. She had the routine down by heart. Walk back to the hotel with him, let him undress her and then help him take off his shirt. Kiss, lie down, kiss some more and then …float. Doze for a bit, get changed before sunrise and leave, preferably before he woke up and pleaded for a few more minutes.

She felt like a doll, saying the same lines and repeating the same actions night after night, all for some temporary relief. Enough money to help her parents, or buy presents or give to the old man on the street.

But this time had been different.

“Why don’t you spend the weekend at my place?” He’d whispered into her ear, tracing the edge with her tongue and making her shiver slightly in disgust. “Stay with me, just for a few days and I’ll show you how good it can be.”

Ochako felt her insides drop away as she lay in shock beneath Hagiwara, trying to make sense of it all.

He continued to whisper his plans to her, cementing each one with a kiss on her lips, nose, eyes, checks, shoulders, slowly but surely marking each part of her as his own, slowly eroding her sense of self with each touch.

Just a few days, that was all he was asking for. It wasn’t a big deal and it definitely wasn’t forever.

But Hagiwara was by nature a planner and he’d clearly been planning it for a long time. She could picture it now. It started off as a few days here and there, stretching into a week or two before she would blink and suddenly she had move in. He would financially support her and her parents if she moved in with him, freeing them from debt once and for all.

She would still be able to finish school of course, before devoting herself to him and becoming a respectable partner for someone like him. (What that meant Ochako wasn’t too sure but didn’t really want to waste time questioning such things) eventually they would probably get married and have four kids or whatever the hell else he wanted and she would just… have to live with it.

Part of her, the tired, lonely, aching part, who was so full of heart ache and tears wanted to say yes. She wanted to have safety and comfort after years of being the one to shoulder all the burden. She wanted to take a step back from seeing injured people and dead bodies and lonely children choking on rubble. She wasn’t sure how many destroyed buildings and elderly women with no place to go she could take.

Ochako cared, she cared a lot. She just wasn’t too sure how much she could care before she broke entirely. And wouldn’t it be nice to stop worrying about her parents every five seconds?

A twisted part of her hated them. It was small, so small she never noticed it really, but it was there in her worst moments. Weren’t they supposed to be the ones looking after her? Why was she the one trying to keep them afloat when she was already balancing so much?

But then she would picture their faces and instantly feel the impact of a ten tonne truck of regret slam into her abdomen, because it wasn’t their fault, not at all.

Ochako understood what this represented. She understood that by saying yes to that weekend she was effectively signing her life away to the first person who’d offered her some scraps and if she did agree, she was putting an end to a dream she’d worked so hard to achieve.

But she also knew that without the help, it was only a matter of time before her tenuous existence all came crashing down around her as she struggled to uphold the weight.

And so, she floated, because what else was there to do?

She’d left a little earlier from the hotel, so dawn was still a while off yet. It was now the coldest, darkest part of the night- not that Ochako could feel the cold anymore. She had quickly grown accustomed to the night air. It was a strange sort of peace tucked away into the numbness of skin and frosty breath.

It was in these moments, the ones where you had to make a life changing situation, that her anxiety and stress just seemed to… dissipate. Ochako knew that if she went to bed, she would sleep for twenty hours and then lay there for seven more. If it had just been that, without the worry of school or grades or her friends, she would’ve done it too, which felt vaguely self isolating and definitely selfish.

Hadn’t her friends already told her about their worries? She needed to do better, she had to be better to help them instead of the other way around. Ochako was a recovery hero damn it, they saved people even when the more combat suited heroes couldn’t.

She had built her entire self around saving others and she couldn’t just… give up now.

Ochako was in a unique position as a hero because she’d proven the versatility of her quirk on more than one occasion. She was formidable both offensively and defensively and was pretty good at stealth missions too, but it also meant she had to both protect others and fight for them at the same time in a way not many others had to. She didn’t have the luxury of charging head first into battle like Bakugo, or wield her quirk from a long distance like Todoroki.

Her quirk meant she always had to be in the middle of things, close enough to touch the danger to get it out of the way, close enough to almost die to save others. And she had to do that every. Single. Time.

Eventually, your life just starts to hold less and less value when doing such things. She risked her life so much it didn’t feel like… it didn’t really feel risky anymore to her.

when the sky began to lighten and Ochako heard the first birdsong of the day she dragged herself down and continued her way back to the dorms, slipping in as usual with barely a creak of the door hinges. In another life she definitely would’ve become a spy.

It did however take longer than usual for her to shower and get ready for bed, as she scrubbed her skin raw until a few places were scraped and small jewels of ruby dotted her skin in some places. The stinging brought her back to reality a little, so she scrubbed some more until she felt a little more herself.

Heavy limbs moved a heavy heart back to her room, placing her stuff down with a full thunk and allowing her to finally collapse onto her bed. Ochako wanted to sleep forever and a day if she could, but her eyes weren’t even closed when she heard her phone chime.

She tried to ignore it, she really did, but the guilt over leaving someone unanswered was too much. Her arm groped around blindly until it made contact with the battered brick, fumbling it open to see that she had been right not to ignore the text. It was an emergency summons from the HSPC, calling her in for a rescue mission in the mountains.

Her heart sunk again. Perhaps it was as low as her toes now. She couldn’t help but giggle a little at the thought, as she felt a bit light headed. Her artificial joy clashed harshly with the news, the weight of people’s lives already threatening to pull her under.

Land slide. Half a village trapped an hour away from Mustafu. They needed her to help look for survivors and clear the area. Over a hundred and thirty people missing. Fifty eight were children.

Ochako wanted to believe in a happy ending. She wanted to think they were all somehow miraculously alive and would be by the time she arrived on the scene, saving the scene with a single heroic effort that would have her back in class by the time true lunch bell sounded.

But she didn’t believe in happy endings anymore.

So she dragged herself up and went to her closet, donning her hero costume in seconds. She sent a quick text to the class group chat explaining an assignment had come up before sprinting downstairs and out of the building, completely ignoring the snarky remarks of a freshly awoken blasty yelling at her about breakfast.

What good was breakfast going to be when she was certain she would be puking it up anyway?

Not from her quirk. She’d grown exponentially stronger since the last time she’d ever done that. No. It would be from the bodies, the ones so mangled and crushed they looked like a flattened carton of tomato juice on the floor. The ones she still saw in her nightmares and haunted her steps from the shadows.

The ghostly eyes of haunted children following her every move as she pulled them out of the wrecks, condemning them to a life of trauma and loss.

The broken cries of the injured which rang in her ears in the quietest moments, ever reminding her of their pain.

The car was already there when she arrived, a man in a black suit with glasses on as her driver. They would take her to the closest person with a teleportation quirk and have her there in under thirty minutes. Much quicker than taking the train.

Ochako was one of the few people who could manipulate things on a large scale in the area. That was why, out of all her class she was the one sent on the most missions because as the country recovered from the war, efforts to rebuild and defend against natural disasters was the biggest issue.

She just hoped Aizawa would take that into consideration when marking their exams.

It took seven minutes for the car to stop outside a random house in the suburbs. Ochako knew the drill. She got out and waited patiently while the man in glasses knocked on the door and talked to someone. A minute later, a tall blue skinned woman came out, wrapped in a fluffy white dressing gown with curlers in her periwinkle hair, looking vaguely annoyed.

The two didn’t speak as the woman simply tapped her on the arm, flinging her into a void.

The wind was almost painful as it whirled around her and the coloured all swirled into black as she moved from one place to another. There was no noise in that place, although Ochako could’ve sworn she saw dancing stars all around her as she fell.

But then she blinked and it all fell away, leaving her amidst the destruction of a nameless town, in a nameless place away from everyone she knew.

Ochako missed the void. She missed it so much her lungs squeezed and her eyes felt foggy. Being in there had been like being up in space and she desperately yearned for the nothingness it held within. But then she saw one of the local heroes running towards her, streaked with dirt and blood and she felt like walking herself into hell for thinking such horrible thoughts.

“Are you the gravity user?” The hero questioned, sounding broken.

“I am. Where do you want me?” Ochako knew there was no point wasting words at that moment in time on comforting the hero. It would just make them feel worse, and every second lost was a second someone was dying under the debris.

The hero before her blinked for a moment, most likely confused over the age of their newest co worker, but didn’t have time to question it as they showed her to where the most casualties were located.

“We’ve got seven survivors and five dead bodies so far. We’ve managed to locate around sixty heart beats or so, almost all in this area.”

The land before Ochako looked post apocalyptic. Houses were completely destroyed, with random chunks jutting above the uneven surface of the soil. Doors, roofs, cars all scattered haphazardly around as if a child had destroyed a toy house in a sand box and left it to bleach in the sun.

In the distance, a baby started crying, the only sound for miles around.

She couldn’t cry, so instead she took a deep breath and got to work.

It was easy for her to settle into a rhythm, lifting a ton or so of rubble at a time, moving it to a save distance before dropping it and then searching the area for signs of life. The first few people had been easy enough, although moving them with their injuries had been a whole other story.

Ochako had never been more grateful for all the drills UA had forced them to run, because there was a distinct lack of assistance from other heroes as they stretched themselves over the disaster zone. She knew that the HPSC had to have been stretched to breaking point if they were calling her in, but still, there should’ve been more people on the ground.

Her classmates would’ve been helpful at least, or the third years, or quite literally anyone with a working pair of hands and basic medical knowledge.

That was when she found the first dead body.

A young woman, only a few years older than her with a thick slab of concrete crushing her chest, eyes wide open. They were hazel. The left had slightly more green flecks than the right. It would’ve been a slow, painful death. Cracked ribs piercing her lungs and filling them with blood. Ochako only shook slightly as she moved the concrete away and gently tapped the woman’s hand, guiding her slowly over to where the others waiting for burial were being placed.

It didnt get much better after that.

The issue with rescue work was that even when moving quickly, it wasn’t actually that quick. You couldn’t just rip things off of people and hope for the best, or randomly remove objects to create a gap. Everything Ochako moved she had to check to make sure it wouldn’t cause anything to collapse. Every person trapped she had to work out what was holding them there, whether or not part of it needed to remain in place to stop a fatal injury from occurring and so forth. It was just as mentally draining as it was physically.

There could be no mistakes as a rescue hero. A mistake meant someone’s death and there was no villain to place the blame on, no other factor other than your own hands.

But even going as carefully as she was, Ochako was covering far more ground than any of the other heroes and civilians.

She was moving part of a house when she heard it, the quiet rasp of breathing amid the dust which hung densely in the air, a thick pea soup from which there seemed no escape. Immediately she changed directions, clearing the way to the sound, until at last she partially uncovered a boy around her age lying awkwardly trapped between a car and what looked like wood.

“Hi there, I’m Uravity a pro hero in training and I’m here you get you out. Can you tell me your name?” She asked, taking note of the injures she could see. There was a dark patch staining his torso form what looked like part of the wood which was impaling him, probably from a fence and from the position it looked like it had run straight through his vital organs. It didn’t look good, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.

“Kaito Suzuki.” He said with surprising lucidity. “You know, I didn’t realise heroes were so pretty in real life.”

The absurdness of the comment made her laugh. Was that really all he had to say at a time like this?

“Is it weird if I ask you for your number? Or is it better to wait until after I get out of here.”

Ochako, who was moving some of the surrounding rubble to get a better look at him, nearly stumbled in shock as his boldness. “I don’t know, I’ve never been asked out by someone trapped under rubble before.”

Immediately she cringed at her own words. How could she have been so harsh? She really wished basic training covered dealing with situations like that because she was feeling way out of her depth- and she’d actively fought in the war!

“Good. I’ll be memorable then.” From the corner of her eye she saw him smirk, before coughing wetly into his shoulder. From the looks of things, it had been blood.

“I need emergency aid in my location. Code 188.” She said into her walkie talkie, before calmly approaching his side. After moving the rest of the debris, she had realised it was worse than she feared. If they moved him, he would die, unless they managed to cut off the wood below him and safely transport him to a hospital immediately. “Bring a saw.”

“Don’t worry about me Uravity I’ll be fine, look at this guns.” He tried to flex one of his arms as he grinned. From the blue tinge around his mouth he was already losing too much blood and already in shock. She continued administering first aid, silently cursing the lack of help around. At least he was talking. There was that at least.

“Hey, have you found a little boy yet? He’s around here I think. Heard him crying a little while ago. His name is Ren.” Suzuki wheezed. “Ren Suzuki. My brother. He’s seven.”

The alarm bells were ringing in her head. That was the worst news she could’ve possibly been told.

“Not yet, but I’m sure someone else will have found him. Please hold still Suzuki.” She lied through her teeth, desperately trying to think of a way out, a way to save the boy before her as he let at a groan of pain when she finally moved the last parts of the car which had been trapping him. She just had to find a way to break the wood off and then he would have a chance.

She had to give him a chance. And then she would find his brother and they would be happy together.

“C-call me Kaito.” A trickle of blood arced across his cheek. “How do you feel about crepes?”

“Smooth.” She said brightly, looking around desperately for a solution. “I love crepes and anything sweet really! What about you?”

The best thing to do was to keep him awake and talking as her eyes finally caught sight of a serrated knife lodged a little away from Kaito.

“More of a spicy guy myself, but you can never-“ another coughing fit. “-never go wrong with crepes.”

“So true! Chocolate and strawberry are my favourite.” She agreed, grasping onto the knife before making her way back. “This is probably going to hurt, a lot, but I need you to stay awake. Can you do that for me Kaito?”

“Anything for you.” He winked.

She took a deep breath and began to cut through the wood, ignoring the screaming until she was done.

Somehow, Kaito was still awake, eyes glazed over in pain. The red patch hadn’t expanded thankfully, mostly due to the packing she’d done around the wound so she wasted no time in using her quirk to lift him and guide him out. At least there was an air ambulance wanting to take him away.

“Please… find my brother.” He whispered as she helped load him into the back. “And thank you.”

Ochako squeezed his hand gently before stepping back and walking away. He didn’t have a good chance of making it. She knew that. She knew the odds of people surviving with the type of injury he had, but she couldn’t cry, couldn’t dwell on Kaito Suzuki any longer. And had to find his brother.

It didn’t take long to follow the soft cries near where she found Kaito. His brother and two friends had been much more fortunate, remaining mostly unscathed. The woman with them had not been so lucky. The three children had been trapped with the dead body of one of their mothers for other four hours.

And still, Ochako could not cry, could do nothing more than to hug them and get them to safety.

In the end they saved thirty nine people, plus the seven from before. Fifty four bodies had been located with over thirty seven people still unaccounted for. It was already dark by the time reinforcements arrived, already beaten up and worn out. Someone had to pull Ochako away kicking and screaming from the wreckage in order to send her back to UA.

She didn’t want to eat, or sleep. Not when there were still so many people to save. She couldn’t believe how slow she’d been, how useless for the people still suck down there, dying down there. In the end however, she was sent back to school, dirty and aching with tear tracks etched into her cheeks.

At least she didn’t have work that night.

A small victory in the midst of the crushing guilt and frustration.

It wasn’t too late in the evening when she opened the door to the dorms, which meant over half her classmates were invariably up and dotted around the kitchen and common area and so witnessed her return. Ochako had never heard silence quite so loud as she stepped into the building, offering them all a small, shaking smile.

“Oh, Ochako.” Mina sighed, coming over to try and hug her friend, along with a teary eyes Deku and Todoroki. The pity in their eyes took her breath away. “We saw the news.”

That was the last thing she wanted them to say. She was breaking apart at the seams and she couldn’t deal with them right now, she couldn’t be surrounded by their care and affection and sorry eyes that chanted ‘not good enough’ ‘not strong enough’ the longer she looked.

Ochako wasn’t the one who had lost her house that day. She wasn’t the one who had been trapped with her dead mother for hours, or who had died under that rubble. She was fine, more than fine in fact, she was okay.

“I- I just need some space right now please guys.” It was a tiny whisper, one that seemed to carry around the room like one of Bakugo’s blasts.

She didn’t stay to see the hurt and understanding on her friend’s faces, rushing off instead to the sanctity of the elevator to escape back to her room.

“You look like shit.”

The words nearly made her jump out of her skin and within a second she had Bakugo pressed against the wall with an arm at his throat.

“What the hell cheeks?” He spat, glaring at her with his usual distain, but he made no move to fight back.

“Sorry!” She squeaked, pushing herself off as fast as she could, mortification flooding her system. “I’m just-“

“It’s whatever. You had a mission today, s’not your fault.” He grumbled, uncharacteristically quiet.

Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull.

“Bakugo-“

“Shut up. Just get your dusty ass away from me before I kill you for wrecking my top.” He snapped, instantly reverting back to his normal self.

A quick glance was all she needed to confirm his statement. He literally had an imprint of her body painted on his black shirt with the dust and debris from her trashed hero costume. If before hadn’t been embarrassing enough, it was now.

At least the elevator finally decided to reach her floor. As the doors slid open and shuffled out, soaring one last glance at the blonde haired boy. Out of everyone, he hadn’t looked at her with even a smidge of pity, not once. He had met her eyes and silently acknowledged her feelings (at least she thought he did. She didn’t really know if Bakugo understood anything that wasn’t anger.) and she was so extremely grateful for that fact.

“-thank you.” She finished right as the doors snapped shut, leaving her stranded in her hallway with nothing but the dirt on her body and the ache in her chest.

It didn’t really all hit her until she was in the shower for the second time that day, scrubbing off all the dirt and grossness that had accumulated.

(The blood in her hair, under her nails, staining Kaito’s shirt-)

(Hagiwara tracing the curves of her body with his hands, working his way down his neck as he told her to stay. Stay, why don’t you stay?)

Ochako scratched off the small scabs that had formed all over her absentmindedly.

(Her parents gaunt faces, pleading at her over the phone as they asked for just a penny more, just for some food to keep them going, to keep them alive.)

(Her friend’s faces as she pushed them away, how weak she was as she made them worry yet again and they were all going through so much worse.)

She gasped out loud when she nicked herself with the razor when shaving her legs, the pain drawing her back to reality as quickly as she had left it.

It stunned her, how numb she now felt after the torrent of emotions and thoughts that had threatened to carry her away. The thin line of red had brought her back to a strange sort of floating reality, one which she vastly preferred over her current situation. It was like everything was separated by a thin layer of fog, one that was impenetrable and immovable.

Suddenly everything felt so vapid, so stupid to be worrying over like she was. It was all fixable somehow, all changeable and preventable and temporary. She watched as a drop of blood welled up and slid down her leg, mingling with the water to make a pretty pink hue, tracing it with her eyes, allowing the sight to further calm herself down.

Ochako studied her leg for a moment longer before repeating the action again and again and again, until she could no longer feel anything at all but the sting of her thighs and the bone deep exhaustion threatening to pull her under.

Ochako slept well that night, drifting in the void.

Chapter Text

Shouta loved his students, even if he wanted to punch them half the time. They reminded him of overpowered toddlers, learning how to face the world as he slowly moulded them into the heroes of the future, still filled with hope and joy.

Or they had been at least. Before the past year. There was a new edge to them now, a hard glint in each of his twenty students that made them stand out as battle hardened, experienced in a way most others their age couldn’t even imagine. The optimism of youth had been snatched away from them almost entirely. But they had been getting better, he thought they had been getting better.

Sure, they seemed to give him a new problem to deal with every day and yes he was willing to acknowledge his chronic sighing problem and potential sleep deprivation issue, but they were his kids and no one could say anything otherwise.

Maybe that was why he took it so hard when he heard about Uraraka fainting in the gym, the clear concern from Recovery Girl as she expressed her worry over his bubbly student. He recalled the inconsistencies in class, her dull eyes, the odd mannerisms that didn’t quite seem to match up with her happy go lucky persona. Shouta prided himself on always being able to tell what was going on with his students- but he hadn’t been able to notice with Uraraka.

Hizashi had pointed out how it wasn’t his fault, after all Shouta had been juggling Shinso, Todoroki and Bakugo, trying to ensure they would all have a safe place to live while the disaster of the dorms situation was sorted out, but Shouta disagreed. It was his duty as a teacher to look after his students and he’d been stupid enough to ignore whatever it was that was going on with Uraraka simply because she seemed so outwardly fine.

She didn’t lash out, or cry, or stop doing her work. She didn’t retreat into herself or cut off her friends or change personalities seemingly overnight. No, she was always smiling, always ready for a hug and a chat with her classmates. Just how many times had he relied on her subconsciously to check in on how the others had been doing?

How many times had he relied on the brown haired girl to cheer up someone else because he seemingly too busy to deal with the issue?

It would all end now. He was going to work out just exactly what was going on with his student and do everything in his power to help her.

The thought him then, as clear as day. Uraraka was first and foremost a rescue hero and even now a year later she was still being called off to use her quirk to save others. Just how many bodies had she seen since the war? Just how much carnage had she witnessed since then?

Heroes who worked predominantly in rescue were much less flashy than other types of hero- they had to be in order to carry victims off to safety and keep a brave face even when dealing with the dying- and it often led to them cutting themselves off from help.

If you helped others too much, you stopped considering yourself as a human with a need for comfort too. It became a dangerous game of disassociation which was often lost, by professionals and rookies alike. And it seemed to Shouta like it was getting to his student too.

Hizashi was not expecting the new dent that appeared in their kitchen table a few moments later.

A minute later the blonde had his arm draped loosely around his partners shoulders, resting his head atop Shouta’s dark locks. “It’s okay. There’s still time to fix this. She isn’t leaving.”

Not like Eri.

The unspoken words hung in between them, weighted down by regret and the stupidity of the law. She had been their kid damn it. Eri had been theirs until one day she just… wasn’t.

Ripped away due to the danger of their jobs, the instability of raising a child during a war, the further psychological strain on her. That had been fine, preferable really. What little child deserved to suffer even more after all Eri had been through? They’d agreed, of course they had. What other choice had there been?

The social workers and HSPC staff sighed in relief, signed the documents and whisked her away within two days. Shouta had cried. Hizashi didn’t speak. But it had been for the best and besides, it was supposed to be temporary.

They were promised it would be temporary. Had fought and believed and pushed through everything because they had been promised a reunion with their daughter.

But after the war, Eri didn’t come home.

That was when the tenuous trust Shouta had built over the years in the childcare system shattered completely.

‘She was safer in a more stable environment’ was the claim. She would only disrupt their hero work at a crucial juncture in rebuilding society and besides, she had the most wonderful foster family who were even considering adoption. They hadn’t been allowed to visit her, or even know where she lived (not that it had stopped Shouta looking into it obsessively, despite the HPSC’s attempts to block him out.)

It made sense, from an outside perspective. They could no longer make allowances for heroes the way they once had. Allowances had led to Hawk’s upbringing, allowances had led to the Todoroki shit storm and long term abuse. Allowances for hero’s had been a large part in corrupting society and with the HPSC being under the spotlight more than ever, the crackdown made sense. It was why there was such an issue with making the UA dorms permanent on campus, why heroes were now under more scrutiny than ever before in the media and why Nezu no longer wielded the (official) influence he once had. Compared to all of that, there was no way an exception would’ve been made for them.

But Shouta and Hizashi were Eri’s parents goddamn it and he wanted their daughter back.

So yeah, Shouta would be retrieving his daughter when he found her, if she wanted to of course, and he didn’t care who he had to fight to do so. Perhaps that was why there were currently four made up bedrooms in their house (a house that a year ago, he would’ve laughed at owning due to its stupid size and surplus of spare rooms) and why a fifth might be in the works.

Why the hell would he trust an already over worked and over fucked system to look after his trauma ridden kids? He’d let them claim his daughter, he wouldn’t lose any one else. Not if he could help it. He wasn’t one to follow the rules anyway, despite what he preached to his kids in class. After all, underground heroes weren’t kept hidden for shits and giggles they were trained to get their hands dirty.

Shouta squeezed Hizashi’s arm tightly, prompting a swift withdrawal and a quick peck on the head.

“Just don’t stay up too late. You have an early patrol.”

The dark haired man grinned a little, looking down right murderous as his partner wandered off to bed,

He would save Uraraka, just like he was saving Todoroki and Shinso and Bakugo. Like he would one day save Eri. And Shouta really didn’t give a fuck about what he would have to do to do it.

***

The Uraraka household was a pile of shit, even by Shouta’s standards.

He’d arrived after school had ended the next day, after spending an interesting night digging through every record he could find on the family. It seemed more than a little strange to him that a family business centred around construction had been sold off as a sinking ship just a few weeks ago.

There were very few industries who could profit off the kind of large scale destruction left in the wake of the war, but this was very much one of them. Hardly any of their workers had been injured, the surrounding towns and city had been almost vaporised and yet his students parents had opted to sell their business only a few short weeks ago to try and pay back the large loans they owed.

It just didn’t make any sense.

And from what he had read, neither parent had even attempted at finding or securing another job, yet still they were able to pay their bills to some extent and keep the loan sharks at bay. Unless they had a secret money stash- something he very much doubted- someone else had to be sending them money.

Shouta thought back to what he had learned from her classmates. The late nights, pale skin, lack of appetite and that strange conversion Shinso had overheard. It was easy to guess that Uraraka had been working a job in the evenings and even easier to guess why.

She was sending money home to help support her parents, who were very obviously struggling if the smashed in bottom window of the house was anything to go by. And to top it all off, she had just been sent on yet another rescue mission that even seasoned heroes would’ve struggled to deal with. The thought made him sick.

He had to do better. Uraraka deserved to have someone in her comer, to care for her and allow her to actually act her age.

He approached the door with caution, eyeing up his surroundings as he went, a habit that he had never been able to shake since his school days and something that had saved his ass on more than one occasion. The neighbourhood was the worst in the area and briefly, he wondered at how such a place could have produced such a bubbly and happy go lucky girl as Uraraka.

Shouta had been raised in a similar place, in a similar house.

He thought back to his own childhood for a moment, the worry and the anxiety constantly gnawing at his bones. The tiredness he hadn’t been able to dispel even then as an adult, haunting his every move and clinging to him like a second skin.

He sighed to himself, forcefully locking away his emotions and thoughts until he was completely focused once more. This was not about his own life, his own experiences and trauma, he couldn’t let himself fall into that trap. He would book himself in for an extra session with his therapist after he handled everything later; it would save Hizashi from nagging him about it at the top of his lungs if nothing else.

Before he could so much as knock on the door however, he picked up on the quiet conversation flowing through the broken window, just loud enough for him to hear, causing him to freeze in place.

“-gone again. Another incident. I can’t- I can’t keep it together anymore.” He heard Uraraka’s mother say, voice thick with tears. “We need to get her out. My poor baby.”

“We can’t let her give up on her dream for us. We don’t deserve to ask her to come back.” Her father replied. “If she sees what we’ve become… she’ll only blame herself. We have to stop this.”

“But how? Every time we try, something else happens and I can’t- I can’t watch her almost die again.”

“We can start tomorrow, get ourselves cleaned up before she comes home for the break, start working again-“

“You can’t work with your shoulder like that and you know it! Maybe she’s better off not coming home at all.”

“Honey, we can’t do that to her, she’s so excited.”

“Then what? Even if we stop now we’ll be in the thick of it when she returns and besides, we owe so much money. Chako doesn’t deserve this honey, you know she doesn’t.”

Aizawa felt sick to his stomach as he eavesdropped, completely uncaring of how uncouth it was. Without warning he opened the door and strode into the kitchen, only to see the Uraraka’s standing in the tiny kitchen, next to a table and a tiny bag of powder and pills.

And suddenly, it all made sense.

The two stopped their conversation and stared in shock at the intrusion, unsure of what to do. He knew they recognised him from the parent teachers meetings, he knew they were aware of what he meant, what he symbolised.

Lowering his scarf slightly, he stared at them for a long moment. “I think you and I need to have a conversation.”

*

The living room was completely bare of furnishings, so Mr.Uraraka carried in three chairs from what Shouta presumed had been in the kitchen. The man had shrivelled in size from the last time he had seen him, a shadow of his former imposing self, all sagging skin and trembling fingers. His muscles had shrunk considerable to almost resemble All Mights true form.

There wasn’t a single decoration in the entire ground floor of the house, except a single photo of Ochako, stuck to the wall with peeling tape. She was smiling widely on the shoulders of her father, a familiar piece of paper in hand.

The UA acceptance letter. The day she had gotten into the school of her dreams.

The man in that photo seemed like a stranger now, too lost in the past. Shouta could easily see that whilst his student was the spitting image of her mother, she had inherited her father’s smile. He wondered if the broken person before him would ever smile like his daughter again.

Although there was much left to learn about the situation, one thing was made abundantly clear to Aizawa- whatever issues the couple had, they loved their daughter.

Once the three of them were situated on the chairs, Shouta decided to break the silence. Mrs. Uraraka seemed unable to keep her hands still as she picked at her cuticles and played with her nails, unable to look him in the eye for longer than a second at a time whilst Mr.Uraraka had his gaze firmly fixed on the wall behind him, avoiding him entirely.

Shouta had thought of many scenarios, had envisioned several different ways in which the evening would play out. This had been none of them. He hardly knew what to say. He knew he had to be empathetic to some degree, it wasn’t like they were trying to harm Uraraka, but their actions were still causing them to suffer. There would be no kind way to do what needed to be done, no easy way out.

He breathed in and decided to bite the bullet, because this wasn’t about them, not really. Shouta had come in the capacity as a teacher, which meant he had to put his student at the forefront of his every action. There would be other people to help the Uraraka’s and care for them through withdrawal. Their daughter did not have that same luxury.

“How long have the two of you been using.”

Mrs. Uraraka jumped and nearly fell out of her chair in shock at his words, staring at him with owlish eyes. She glanced to her husband, who was now focusing all his attention on the worn floor. Her shoulders sagged in defeat a moment later, clearly aware there was nothing she could do to escape the situation.

“During the war, my husband and I were caught up in one of the fights and got injured. My leg. His entire left side- the shoulder still isn’t quite right but with the surgery waiting lists…”

They had been told to wait, supplied with pain medication to take the edge off and left to quietly rot as they got pushed further and further down the list until they had probably been forgotten about entirely.

Shouta remembered then. He remembered keeping it a secret from Uraraka, just as he kept it a secret from all of his students when he heard about their parent’s injuries. Telling them right before a major battle would only make them more vulnerable and likely to be killed. He had made the decision to allow the families to inform their children after the war was over if they so wished.

At the time, it had been the best thing to do. His main goal had been to keep his kids as safe as possible, which he had almost perfectly achieved. He hadn’t had the luxury of thinking more than a few months ahead, but that didn’t stop the acid churning in his stomach.

“We were on pain medication and were just coming off of it when- when we heard news of to your class being placed on the front lines. There was no way to reach Ochako and so we had to rely on the news.” She was trembling more with each word she spoke, a broken leaf at the mercy of the winter winds. “And one of the clips showed her- she was falling from the sky and there was no one there to catch her- we thought she was…”

Dead.

The familiar ache of guilt crushed his lungs and threatened to tear him apart from the outside. These people had been hurt had no way of knowing if their daughter was safe, had no way of contacting her and had to watch her seemingly die on live TV.

“We didn’t find out until five weeks later.” Mr. Uraraka finally spoke staring at the teacher with haunted eyes. “Do you know what it’s like to bury your own daughter, but not even have her body?”

Shouta didn’t dare move a muscle, taking and accepting every part of their hurt, their grief and refusing to back down.

“We just… gave up hope. Without our baby there wasn’t any reason to keep living. The only escape we had was the medication.” She continued where her husband left off, tears still leaking out from the corners of her eyes. “By the time we saw her again…”

“-It was too late.” Shouta finished for her. “And she doesn’t have a clue about this either.”

“We’re trying to stop, we really are.”

“I know.” He could tell how badly they wanted to give it up, he could see it in their eyes their remorse and guilt over the situation. But sometimes, that just wasn’t enough. “However right now you’ve only managed to further endanger your daughter with this behaviour. As her teacher I cannot allow her to live in this environment after her exams.”

Neither of them said a word in their defence.

Shouta watched as Mr. Uraraka finally broke down, plump tears trickling down gaunt cheeks which he made no effort to hide. Mrs. Uraraka was shaking again, her whole body convulsing in silent sobs and for a moment he felt as if she would simply break apart by the force.

“However this measure will be temporary. UA is committed to helping their students out in every aspect of their lives-“ he continued on, feeling a thousand years old. When was the last time he had spoken so much? When was the last time he had confronted this reality of being a hero? “And so will endeavour to help you both get clean in the interest of Uraraka. However this comes with stipulations.”

Shouta wasn’t exactly sure this could feasibly be done, but he’d convince Nezu somehow. The damned rat didn’t care much for law or convention on the best of days and always seemed more than ready to meddle in his students affairs. There was no one better suited to the task than him, as much as Shouta loathed to admit it, even to himself.

“We… can see her again?” Her father whispered, still seemingly at a loss. “She can still come home?”

“Only if you get clean.” He repeated firmly. “And I want to sign you up for rehab immediately. You will not be able to see your daughter before you are on your way to recovery.”

Finally, the two seemed to draw themselves out of their grief and self loathing, only to rear the ugly - but understandable- head of anger in their wake.

“You have no right from preventing us from seeing our daughter.” Mr. Uraraka seethed, some of his normal colouring returning to his face as he spat the words, pure venom and Shouta’s feet.

“That’s not such a good idea. Please consider her mental state and how she may react to all of this.” He tried to reason.

A sudden crack sounded out as Mr.Uraraka’s chair pushed into the floor, his quirk activating in his frustration. He was a proud man and loved his daughter above all else and even in his current state he would never give that part of himself up. Shouta had to admit, it was quite admirable all things considered.

“Honey… I think- I think we should do as he says.”

Time seemed to stop as soon as Mrs. Uraraka spoke those words. She placed a hand on her husband arm and he immediately stopped trying to destroy the floor. Instead what little energy he has seemed to drain out of him all at once, leading him to sag heavily into his wife, defeated.

Shouta could no longer bear the suffocation of the room and stood up. It wasn’t like he had anything left to say at any rate.

“The school will be in touch.”

And with that he left the residence, abandoning the Uraraka’s as they curled in on each other amidst their empty living room, under the gaze of their smiling daughter who had no idea about her parents substance abuse. Shouta hadn’t even begun to ask about the debt or his students means of supporting them.

He knew she wouldn’t have told them the truth. Uraraka was not someone to make others worry about herself, even when she was in imminent danger. Would it have changed anything if they had known?

Pulling his scarf off, he knew it wouldn’t have, not at that point. They had been too far gone by the time they had reunited with her and the only thing that could possibly save them now was rehab, and even then it was tenuous.

Shouta manoeuvred himself through the streets with ease, eager to be back on school grounds once more. He needed to check on Uraraka after her mission and he really, really needed a fucking nap.

The next few weeks would be hell, but hopefully it would all be worth it.

He refused to fail her any longer. Shouta Aizawa would save Uraraka, if it was the last thing he did

Chapter Text

Ochako did not leave her room the next day. She lay in bed for hours, savouring the break from the world she had been craving for all that time. It was like the fresh scabs on her legs had liberated her in a way nothing else had ever done before.

Where emotions once stood at the forefront of everything, a cool apathy now paraded, bringing with it a welcomed nothingness. It felt strange, not feeling when her whole existence had been governed by her heart, but Ochako felt as if she could finally breathe. The crushing weight of everyone was left outside her door, in the real world while she hid in a cocoon of crisp white sheets.

She’d had lessons on mental health of course, she’d been to therapy too and she knew objectively what she had done to herself was bad. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t good for her own wellbeing- but now it all felt like lies they had complied to stop her from trying to get peace. If it was so bad why did she feel the best she had in months?

But then what did it say about her, that she felt the best when she couldn’t feel at all? It simply added another layer between her and the rest of the world, pulling her upwards by a thread and fogging the glass even more so. It was like she’d uncovered a secret weapon, because now she wouldn’t drown in her sorrow for civillians, or bake in the anxiety of her family’s well being. She could simply drift through life, achieving her goals with ease.

Ochako was extremely grateful she’d been given the day off after her mission. She knew distantly that she would have to catch up on work, because even when ill there was no excuse for a break, and yet not once did she rise from her position.

It wasn’t until her bladder started screaming at her that she finally dragged herself out of her room, determined to avoid her classmates for as long as possible.

The dorms were so quiet when everyone was away, the emptiness reflecting her own. It was strange, to be able to relate to a building more than a human, but Ochako had long since accepted she was strange.

Would her friends understand? Probably not. At least, not in the same way. It had been months since some of them had last come face to face with a villain with the HPSC trying to get them back on track for a semi- normal life before becoming full time heroes. A few interviews here and there maybe but she didn’t know when the last time was that any of them had seen a dead body. Was she even a good friend herself if she brought it up?

It didn’t matter, not in that moment. Everyone else was in class and she was stuck in stasis. The only good thing about a day off meant she would be able to call her parents, hopefully during their lunch break. For the first time since yesterday evening, Ochako felt a spark of emotion.

Yes, speaking to her parents would clear it all up, help her keep pushing for a little longer. They would comfort her and slowly pull her back down to reality with warm words and gentle smiles.

The longing to be held in her mothers arms hit Ochako like a train, stealing her breath away and nearly sending her into the wall of the hallway. She missed them so, so unbelievably much.

She tripped over herself several times as she ran back to her room, ignoring the small needles of pain on her thighs. All she could think of was her parents, her kind and loving parents. The calluses on her fathers hands, the crows feet around her mothers eyes, small details that clung to her mind and made her that much more desperate to see them.

Maybe she could skip work and float her way home, just for a night or two on the weekend? Surely one night wouldn’t hurt. She’d been working so many extra shifts and of course she would be able to do even more once the vacation started at any rate.

Ochako slammed open her door and grabbed her phone, ringing her mama immediately. It felt like an eternity as the stupid call sound rang out again and again, until at last she heard the click.

“Mama! Are you and dad free to chat right now? I have a day off of school and-“

“I’m sorry but the person you have dialled is unavailable. Please try again later.”

Oh.

Ochako had never once reached her mother’s voice call before. If she was busy, she would just decline the call and send her quick text. She never, ever left her daughter unanswered.

She tried again, sure it had just been some strange mistake and not anything important. She rang again and again until her stupid, terrible phone died and she was left with nothing but a blue black screen to stare at.

Something was wrong.

There was no other explanation for the lack of answer from either of her parents. Something must have happened to them to prevent them from responding.

Ochako sat for a minute, an hour, an eternity trying to process what to do. The silence had torn a family sized hole in her chest, creating fractures all along her body. All she had wanted was some comfort, some familiarity to combat the crushing weight of life and death. Instead, she had discovered an oozing, poisonous realisation which rose steadily in her body with each passing breath.

After everything she had done, everything she had gone through- her parents-

It was all too much.

The scream was primal, tearing out of her throat like a wounded lion, loud and broken and dangerous.

Her patience had already been stretched to its limit after the case with the village the day before, her heart was broken and her mind was groaning under the stress. With one final push she swan dived off of the ledge of sanity.

No one messed with her parents and got away with it.

Ochako tore open the window and leapt out, uncaring of her pyjamas or her unbrushed hair. She could make it back in an half an hour, maybe less if she was a little more reckless.

For once, she did not feel the desire to rise ever upwards. There was only cold iron in her stomach and a strange prickle on her skin. In the back of her mind, she wondered if anyone would recognise her in her current state, if anyone would try and stop her.

Twenty two minutes later, she was home.

Trembling a little from the length of time she had spent without gravity, Ochako walked up to the front door of her house not bothering to knock as she stepped inside.

Dust motes hung suspended in the air as if frozen in time as she took in the surroundings, her heroes training kicking in. The place before her hardly resembled the warm and loving home she had grown up in. The walls were barren, only the spiderwebbing of cracked paint and a small patch of mould adorned them.

Gone were the photos which had lined the hall proudly. There were no shoes in the hutch or any sippers for her to change into, no plants or gentle music winding its way up the stairs. It was like walking through a horror movie built solely for her.

Ochako opened her mouth, ready to call out to her parents but her throat seemed to close up at the mere thought of disturbing the place around her. Besides, she knew they would probably be working for a few more hours at least. Instead she squared her shoulders and slowly explored her childhood home.

The emptiness that had spooked her at first continued into the rest of the house, setting a chill in her bones at the empty shell that had been left behind. Money had always been tight for the Uraraka’s, but never to this extent. Her parent’s room contained little more than two beds rolled up by the side and a naked light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Only her room remained unchanged, although it was nearly as empty as her one at school was.

But her bed was just as she remembered it, covered in pink sheets she’d had for years and years, with her one and only plushie (of Kirby of course) sitting in the far corner.

It was odd, how much a bed sheet and soft toy could make her feel.

Exhaustion rose within her once more, a desire to sleep so strong that Ochako barely thought about what she was doing as she collapsed into the soft blankets, nearly moaning with relief at being home again, despite the circumstances. When she woke up she would find her parents and talk to them, she would find out what was wrong and fix it, just like she always did.

For the first time in a very long time, Ochako truly smiled. It was a small, fragile thing which disappeared within a moment, but for her, it was enough.

She was fine and her family would be too.

***

The distinct noise of the kitchen cupboard slamming open was what finally woke her up.

Ochako stretched her back and arms groggily, taking a minute to acclimatise to her new surroundings. She hardly remembered coming home, what had she been thinking?

Why the heck did she simply leave without a word? And why didn’t she bother to go to her parent’s place of work to begin with instead of wasting time sleeping? She wanted to kick herself for every stupid mistake she had made that day. Bile rose in her throat as a wave of sickness overcame her.

No. She would deal with herself later. Family came first.

Raking through her hair, Ochako did her best to be presentable, before finally remembering the situation. Her parents were in trouble and the people down stairs may not even be her family, but some strangers sniffing around for something. She had to be careful.

She used her quirk to float down the stair, a feat which required a great level of concentration. The Uraraka stairs were notoriously loud and creaky and would alert an intruder in an instant. When she finally settled herself onto the bare wooden floors she slowly made her way into the kitchen, checking the small living area for any signs of life.

Three chairs were all she could see inside.

There was something absurd at the sight, because it was so easy for Ochako to imagine sitting with her parents and telling them all about her high school adventures whilst they listened, awed and entranced at their daughters life. It seemed so easy to slip into the girl she had been, to swing her legs and laugh at her fathers terrible jokes and her mothers reactions. How desperately she wanted that life back.

The voices were louder now and she could make out snatches of conversation. There was no doubt in her mind the people were her parents, Ochako would recognise the low rumble of her dad’s voice anywhere.

That fact alone eased her tension. They weren’t dead somewhere or kidnapped or injured. Maybe she had overreacted about the whole thing- after all, she never called them during school hours so they probably hadn’t been expecting it. But now that she wad home she couldn’t just leave without saying anything.

Although it was empty and run down, being in her house and in her bed had done wonders for her stress. Everything felt a little more manageable in the comfort of the ratty walls. seeing her parents even once in person before the exams would help her push through just that little bit longer.

So she didn’t think too hard as she strode forward and pushed open the door.

“I’m back!” She cried, cheeks stretching into a Cheshire grin, voice high with joy.

Ochako barely took in her parents appearances as she launched herself at her dad, who was sitting closest to her.

“I missed you guys so much!” It was strange how much the scent of someone else could impact your mood. Unbidden, a tear slid down her cheek as she clutched her dad for dear life, desperate for the affection he had always given her.

It wasn’t until after a few moments that she realised two things. Her dad wasn’t hugging her back and neither of her parents had spoken a word since she’d burst in. It felt like spiders were crawling along her skin as she slowly pulled back to assess the situation.

The man before her was a ghost.

Her father had always been a large man. Tall, muscled and loud he dominated every room with his presence and booming laugh. The person before her was none of those things. Pronounced cheekbones on a hollow face, body more wiry now after loosing so much muscle mass and eyes that seemed blank and desolate. Strain and grief were etched into every line of his face as he stared back at his daughter mouth parted ever so slightly like he couldn’t quite bring himself to speak.

Ochako turned to her mama, blinking stupidly as she tried to piece it all together. Her mama had always been a smiler like her daughter. She laughed freely and gave out hugs just as often, although a little quieter than her husband. The graunt face and hard line of her mouth made her appear a stranger to her own daughter.

It was like Ochako had stepped into some strange alternate reality, because these people were not her parents. They couldn’t be.

“Mama? Dad? What happened?” Her voice came out as a squeak, trembling a little towards the end.

The two strangers in front of them slowly looked towards one another, a silent understanding passing between them. It was her mama who spoke first.

“You weren’t supposed to come home.”

The words hit her like a punch to the gut, knocking out all her breath.

Ochako had experienced many nightmares in her short life. She dreamed of death and destruction and failure, but never once had she considered her parents not wanting her to be around. Never once had she doubted their love for her.

It was as if someone had shattered the glass that had encapsulated her. Now she felt as if she was rooted in reality as never before- every noise, every twitch of a finger or movement in the air was seen, every pinprick along her skin was felt.

“I’m so sorry baby, but you can’t stay here.” Her mother shook, small tremors causing her body to convulse as she clutched her arms to her chest. “We have to go away for a while- you were supposed to stay at school until we got better.”

Got better? Better from what? Her parents had never once mentioned being ill over the phone. Nothing was making sense/ surely if they were ill they would need someone to look after them?

Could it possibly be the lack of funds?

Ah. Then it was her fault then. Of course it was. Why was she so, so selfish to the people she loved in her life? Why couldn’t she be like Deku, able to save everyone he cared about?

“Oh.”

“I’m so sorry moo pie.” Her dad spoke up. “It’s all our fault we should’ve tried harder to be better. You don’t deserve this.”

And now they were trying to comfort her as if they were the ones who had failed. Revulsion churned in her stomach as the words circled her mind. She was such a horrible daughter.

“Dad I can help, please let me help you guys. I- I can cook and clean and help with medicine- you can’t just leave!” She cried. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Ochako…” her mother murmured, eyes filled with tears. “We can’t.”

“Maybe we could talk to her teachers and-“

“No honey. We have to get better and stop relying on our baby for everything. I love you too much to continue ruining your life Ochako.”

“You’re not ruining my life!” She squawked, shocked her mother had managed to come to the conclusion in the first place. Her parents had given her everything they could to help her get into UA, she owed it to them to help them out too.

“Ochako, your father and I love you very much, but we haven’t been very honest with you-“

Someone was banging at the door, loud harsh knocks that made even the floor vibrate.

The three Uraraka’s turned at the noise and watched in various levels of shock as Aizawa slammed open the door and stalked into the kitchen.

Ochako couldn’t remember a time she had seen her teacher this angry. It was a cool, deadly rage that made the room feel ice cold, making her shudder in the old pyjamas she was still wearing.

She didn’t know her mother could become so pale.

“Mr. Aizawa? What are you doing here?”

In hindsight, the question was a stupid one. She had run away from the school after all without so much as a text or a note. She hadn’t noticed, but the sky outside was already a deep blue, pinpricked with stars. Clearly she had been gone a long time.

Enough for her friends to worry and her exhausted overworked homeroom teacher to come to her house.

The guilt threatened to swallow her whole.

“You need to come with me.” He said. “Pack your bags, you won’t be coming back after the exams.”

“No.”

“Uraraka-“

“I’m not leaving my parents alone when they’re ill!”

Never once had she raised her voice to an adult in such a way, never once had she argued with Aizawa, or even talked back. But this wasn’t some overdue homework assignment, or a late night gathering gone wrong. This was her family and she would do anything to protect them, even if it meant risking her life in the process.

“Ochako.”

“No!”

“Moo pie please-“

“No!” Her breathing became ragged as she glanced between the three adults wildly. They couldn’t do this to her, not when she was so close to the end, the light was right there and now they wanted to take that away from her too?

Distantly, Ochako understood she was having a panic attack. She had helped several of her classmates through them before, but this felt so much different. She was stuck in a hurricane and there was no stopping the destruction that was being caused, because it was all being taken away from her.

“No, no, no!”

The chairs only lifted an inch before Aizawa’s blood shot eyes focused on her and stole her quirk.

“Ochako-“

She staggered away from her mother’s hand, unwilling to be calmed down. This was too important to be brushed over. Ochako had fought in a war, she had been stabbed and nearly killed and even that hadn’t been as hard as this moment.

“Im not leaving. You can’t make me.”

“Please just listen to us baby, you don’t know everything-“

“Ochako you need to calm down-“

The world was spinning. She watched as her mother’s face slid out of focus, how Aizawa in his dark outfit seemed to merge with the night sky behind him. How funny it was that her teacher was in her kitchen!

Everything was too much. Too loud, to
o bright too many sensations. She just wanted to float.

Ochako missed the cool breeze in the early hours of the day when the rest of the city was asleep. She missed the freedom of hanging in the air as she watched reality from a distance. She just wanted to disappear and never come back. But she loved her family too much to ever make that choice, not when they needed her to survive.

When the room tilted to the side, it felt like she was seeing it from outer space. Earths axis was tilted at around twenty three degrees. Ochako wasn’t too sure, but it looked a little more extreme than that. What would Deku say if he saw her now?

He would probably burst into tears.

For a moment, she wished more than anything she was Bakugo. He would be letting off explosions and yelling at the top of his lungs, protecting what he loved with a fierce intensity she had never once seen anyone else match. If only Ochako was stronger, maybe then none of this would have happened.

Somewhere in her addled mind, Ochako understood it as over. There was no fighting her teacher lying on the ground in a heap, there was no changing her parents mind. She had lost not only them but her home, her reason for fighting so hard.

The thought should have scraped at her insides and forced her to sob in despair. Instead the idea was strangely… liberating.

Because if she had nothing to fight for, there was nothing to hold her down as she floated up, up and away, to a place where only the stars and the clouds would be.

*

Aizawa stared at his student, crumpled on the floor.

There was so much that needed to be said, so much he had to do to help Uraraka.

It was scary how light she was to carry. He’d scooped her up and wrapped her in his capture weapon to keep her warm and covered from the night air, trying desperately to ignore the dark circles under her eyes and the startling blue veins in her cheeks. Her parents had sobbed and stroked her hair but made no move to stop him as he gently placed her in the back of his black car and drove away.

They understood why it had been necessary. He just hoped his student would too when he told her the truth.

Every glance in the rear mirror gave him a view of Uraraka’s ghostly face. There were so many signs he had missed, so much he had ignored in favour of other stupid issues which seemed so inconsequential now. He would do whatever he had to ensure her safety and well being.

He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

Chapter Text

Ochako had aged a thousand years her the course of a night. She was certain if she looked in a mirror she would see grey hair and sagging cheeks, deep lines etched onto her face. It was as if someone had seen her carefully curated life and smashed it against the floor, pieces of herself shattering in all directions with no hope of ever being whole again.

In books characters seemed to wake up and only gradually remember the day before. Ochako was not so lucky. She knew, as soon as she opened her eyes to stare at the familiar white ceiling that there was no reception, no second chances or changing the past. Her parents had effectively removed her from their lives and soon UA would kick her out for a major breach in security.

She wasn’t sure where exactly she would go, all things considering, but it didn’t matter too much. Not much seemed to matter anymore. There was also her job to consider. Missing her shift last night had been bad, but she wasn’t sure how she would be able to sneak out now with her teacher presumably watching her every move. Maybe if she had more money her parents would’ve stayed.

The thought was harrowing, it sucked her breath and sent shivers down her spine.

That had to be the reason, she hadn’t been working had enough and instead of earning more money she had been selfish enough to return home empty handed. Of course they wanted her gone- she was useless.

Completely and utterly useless.

If life was a marathon then Ochako was the person who had passed out at mile four, completely unprepared for life and the challenges everyone else seemed to overcome with ease. Had it always been this way? She couldn’t remember.

When the bright lights of the room finally became too much to bear she squeezed her eyes shut once more. Perhaps this was all some weird lucid dream she just needed to properly wake herself up and everything would be back to normal. If she slept for ong enough everything would be okay.

“Uraraka dear, I know you’re awake.”

She tried to keep her breathing steady even after hearing recovery girly speak. She may have been awake but she wasn’t ready to face reality just yet. Besides, the old woman would probably leave her alone soon anyway and she could slip away back to her room and bury herself into her bed to wallow.

“I know it’s been a hard couple of days dear but I really do need you to open your eyes so we can run some tests.” Her no nonsense voice pierced the fog in a mind. With a sigh Ochako cracked open her brown eyes once more, wincing at the harsh light in the room.

While she had been tempted to ignore the woman, she was programmed to never go against people’s wishes. Ochako didn’t like making people sad or disappointing them, even now.

“How are you feeling dear?”

“Fine.”

Was that really her voice? She sounded as if she’d swallowed a tonne of rubble.

The small woman looked at her with raised brows, clearly not buying it for even a second. She then proceeded to run a few tests on Ochako, from checking her eyes to her ears and her blood pressure- which was weird because she had only fainted, it wasn’t like she was going to die or anything.

When at last recovery girl pulled away Ochako sagged in relief, eager to escape the presence of other people. Too much had happened in too short a time, she needed to process her past and plan her future. Already, a scheme was coming to her.

She wouldn’t be able to go back to work, but she could still try and see Haigwara. Maybe if she stayed with him her the vacation she could have enough money to be welcomed back by her parents and she wouldn’t be chucked into a random kids home to be forgotten about by the system. He had asked her to stay for a weekend after all. Maybe she could start with that and work her way up to full time?

He would take care of her, she was fully aware of that.

How strange it was for her to realise. Hagiwara would be there for her when her own parents didn’t want to be. Was she being selfish for asking for such a thing? To be cared for? It felt narcissistic and evil to want people to look after her, but she couldn’t help the traitorous desire she had harboured for so long. He wouldn’t ask for anything apart from her company and sex- which honestly wasn’t bad when she let her mind wander.

Yes, she would text him when she got back to her dorms. Being able to live with her family again would be delayed, but she would make it work, it wouldn’t be forever after all.

“All done dear.”

“Thanks.”

“Aizawa will stop by shortly, he wants to have a talk with you.”

Of course he did. He’d been the one to take her back to UA after all. He was going to kick her out and ban her from school grounds, effectively cutting her off from all her friends. Ochako wished she felt more upset about the situation, instead of cold and drained.

Last year UA had meant so much to her and it still did, at least she thought it did. When was the last time she had felt truly happy in school without worrying about something?

The only thing she could think of was the sports festival in first year, before anything truly awful had occurred. It wasn’t even a truly happy day because she’d lost to Bakugou! Although, that was when she started working harder, there was that.

Ochako felt her teacher come in before she saw him, hidden away as she was by a curtain at the end of the room. She didn’t mean to flinch away when he slid past the partition, tired eyed staring into hollow ones. He looked dead on his feet and as pale as a corpse.

Corpses like the one in that village only two days ago-

Her thighs itched. She wanted to plunge a razor into them to scratch out the pain.

“Uraraka, how are you feeling?”

Whatever she had expected Aizawa to say, it definitely had not been that.

“Fine.”

His face didn’t so much as twitch, but she knew he didn’t believe her.

“We need to talk.”

How badly she wanted to snap at him, to kick him out and sleep forever, but that was rude and mean. Ochako couldn’t handle being rude and mean on top of useless and a failure, it would be too much.

“… okay.” She agreed reluctantly, pushing herself up a little further on the mattress. She as now aware of the bush of hair she had going on and her unbrushed teeth. She felt disgusting and gross and smelly, but she didn’t express any of that.

“You’re not in trouble.” Aizawa started off. “I understand you’ve been under a lot of stress recently, taking care of your parents. How long have you been working at the diner?”

So he knew then.

“Just since September.” Over half a year. It didn’t feel that long at all really.

“Uraraka, you know hero students are not allowed to have part time jobs.” He sounded so gentle when he spoke, not at all like his usual tone in the classroom. It was as if she were some scared little cat stuck on top of a tree and he was trying his best to coax her down.

“B-but-“

“I understand you needed the money, however it’s not just the issue of the job itself, it’s the hours you worked and where you worked. A sixteen year old girl should not be working the midnight shift, it’s a major risk to your safety.”

She knew that already, of course she did. Aizawa was acting like she hadn’t thought anything through, that there were other alternatives out there she could have chosen but there wasn’t. Nothing else would fit around her insane school schedule without tipping off any of her friends or teachers. Not a lot of places were willing to hire an inexperienced girl in the first place and the diner had been the only well paying option.

It hadn’t been a choice, it had been survival.

“I’ve spoken to your boss and you no longer have to work there.”

Ochako knew it was coming, but it still hurt to hear. What on earth was she supposed to do now?

“The school has a hardship fund and after speaking to the rat I’ve been able to secure a bigger portion to you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”

“What?” She blinked wildly at him. She knew her parents had help paying her fees but she didn’t know such a fund had existed. “Hardship fund?”

“It’s money allocated to students from lower income families to help ease the cost of food, clothing, school items and such.” Aizawa narrowed his eyes at her as he spoke, looking a little shocked at her.

He mumbled something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like “of fucking course.”

Ochako took no notice, still reeling in shock. If there had been a fund like that the whole time, if she’d been able to access that money, everything could’ve been different.

It hurt so much to know that fact.

“Thank you.”

“It will be sent directly into your account from now on, not your parents.”

“My parents were getting money from UA?” That didn’t sound right. She’d never once heard them mention anything before, although she could only really remember having proper conversations with her parents about the finances after the war.

“Yes.” Aizawa sighed, sinking his face a little more into his capture weapon. “Which leads me to the next thing we need to discuss. Your parents.”

“Are they alright?”

Suddenly Ochako was leaning forward, scared out of her mind at the thought of something happening to either of them. It didn’t matter if they had kicked her out yesterday, she would always care for them and worry. Of course she would, she was their daughter.

“They’re fine Uraraka, they’re going to rehab. That’s why you can’t stay at your house after exams.”

“Rehab?” The echoed, trying to make sense of what was going on.

“Do you remember how during the war no one had contact with their families? It was a precaution put in place to keep your heads in the right mindset before battle. We couldn’t have anyone acting recklessly out of grief.”

Ochako remembered that vividly. They’d only been told the reason why after of course. It had hurt a lot, not to know how her parents were faring, if her cousins and grandparents were still alive, but it made a lot of sense. A reckless hero could do more harm than good in a large scale fight.

“Your parents were injured through the war, they made the decision not to tell you so you could focus on your studies and recovery.”

“What happened?” She whispered, eyes filling up with tears at the thought.

“Your mother badly injured her leg and from what I understand your father’s entire left side was damaged. They were originally scheduled for surgeries and given pain medication but have been continually pushed down the lists ever since. They thought you had died during this time and even held a funeral for you. It was around then that they became addicted to their medication.”

Ochako was extremely grateful for Aizawa’s blunt and precise description in that moment. It was the only thing stopping her from bawling her eyes out and flinging herself from the room.

How had she not noticed? How had she not seen the signs? She had been trained, along with the rest of her class to look for signs of substance abuse. A villain on cocaine would be a lot more erratic and unpredictable than a sober one after all. A basic part of hero training and she hadn’t seen it in her own family.

“Eventually your father had to sell his company to your uncle because neither of them could deal with work and addiction. The money you’ve been sending them was paying for their drugs. I’m sorry, Uraraka.”

She didn’t want his pity, she wanted her parents. Why hadn’t they told her the truth last night? Why did she have to hear it second hand from her home room teacher of all people? Why had they kicked her out?

“What’s going to happen now?”

“You will be placed into temporary custody until your parents complete rehab and are deemed safe to look after you again by a court.”

“Oh.”

“We will be sorting out accommodation for you soon, I’ll explain it all to you when I get the details finalised.” And with that Aizawa stood up from the chair as if to go. “And Uraraka… if you feel at any point over the next few weeks you need a break, you don’t have to sit finals.”

“Wait, what?”

No one ever skipped final exams. It just wasn’t done.

“You’ve been through enough in the last few months. We can take an average of your other tests to get you a score instead.”

Part of her wanted to jump at the chance, because she hated exams and here was a free pass! But what would her classmates say?

Ochako shivered as she imagined the whispers, the gossip that would inevitably spread around until hundreds of eyes would be watching her every move. Her friends were already worried, she couldn’t handle even more concern from them if they found out she didn’t have to take some silly tests.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll take them.”

It seemed absurd to be worrying about tests and her classmates feelings after hearing the truth about her parents, but she wasn’t willing to break down in front of Aizawa. Instead she shoved those feelings deep inside of her and focused on the first issue at hand.

She’d worked hard too, she wasn’t going to let it all go to waste.

“Okay.” Aizawa agreed immediately. “I have some more issues to discuss later, but try and get some rest.”

She must’ve looked positively disgusting if her half dead home room teacher was worried about her rest levels. That was a whole new level of low.

The man ran on coffee and fruit pouches, he slept on the floor of the classroom! To have Aizawa concerned for her was just another log added to the fire.

Ochako didn’t watch him walk away. instead, she turned to face the window, trying desperately to distract herself with the suns rays warming her face.

Recovery girl was bustling around at the other end of the room, leaving Ochako to herself as she gazed longingly out of the window. If only she could be outside for a moment, just hang in the breeze as she used to do she would feel so much better.

She could be back in five minutes, maybe less. Staying in bed all day would just make things worse, she was sure of it.

Maybe if she’d thought about it bit more Ochako would’ve realised how stupid her plan was. She’d just been caught sneaking out and now she was going to do it again not even twenty four hours later. This time, something worse would happen.

But she was tired. Not the lack of sleep tired but the bone deep life sort of tired, a tired that some people were lucky enough to never experience whilst some like her had it constantly. It was finally too much for her to contain within her alone and being up in the air was the only way she knew she could deal with it.

(Unless she had her razor. Unless she could have a shower and itch the scratch.)

Recovery girl always kept the windows of the infirmary slightly ajar to let in fresh air. They were well taken care of and barely made a sound as Ochako slipped out of bed- still in her pyjamas- and pushed them open, clambering out with ease. She’d been trained on that sort of thing after all, she wasn’t completely useless.

It was a relief when the cool air hit her, a gentle breeze blowing south westerly. It smelled of sun and hope and peace.

Ochako didn’t hesitate as she used her quirk on herself.

By now she was much better with her control over the amount of gravity she took away. It meant she knew when to add a little to keep her hovering in mid air or when to catapult something back down to earth. She had grown exponentially since her first year at UA. She knew it, her friends knew it, the HPSC knew it.

So why was it not enough?

Ochako allowed herself to drift to her usual height of around five hundred meters, close enough to observe the ground, far enough away to avoid being spotted or taken down by most quirks.

Was she not happy enough, or smart enough, or brave enough? Had she not worked hard enough, cared enough to fix things? Her parents had been through so much- they’d had to bury her because they didn’t even know she was alive.

They thought she was dead and when she did come back, she’d been whisked away to UA immediately. No reconciliation, not really.

And if her parents were hiding something, what about her friends? Ochako thought she understood people well, but her own parents had been keeping a huge secret from her, which meant her friends could to. What if they were hurting or upset and she was too stupid and self absorbed to notice?

Her tears trickled freely as she tilted her head up to look at the fluffy clouds hanging just above her in a field of blue.

It was strange how solid they looked, when they were just water. They looked so solid and dependable until up close, then they were valid and wispy things- just like her.

The blue sky stretched above her, an endless blanket wrapping the world up tightly. That was when she realised she had never been up that far, not really. All those years she had yearned to be in space and see the stars she had been on the solid ground. But, you just had to get through most of the atmosphere to see them, she didn’t have to take a rocket ship out there- she just needed to go high enough.

Why had she never been enough?

Ochako didn’t think as she removed yet more gravity, allowing herself to drift ever upwards. She could feel the stars pulling at her skin, urging her ever onwards as she drifted in the breeze. It was deathly cold now, but Ochako had long since stopped feeling the chill and if it was getting harder to breathe she hardly noticed.

And still, all around her was blue.

Blue blue blue.

She laughed, a choking scratching sound which sent her into gasping breaths soon after. All around her was blue. She could live up there forever. All her problems remained on the ground and she was free up there in the blue, for the first time in forever she felt completely untethered.

So relaxed in fact, she couldn’t help but close her eyes, just for a second…

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” A familiar voice screamed at her from somewhere below.

Ochako cracked open an eye lid to see Bakugo charging towards her, fury incarnate as he used his explosions to climb up in the air. He was dressed in sweatpants and an old band T-shirt, clearly having come from his room instead of the gym or school. It was strange, seeing him up there in her special space. She couldn’t ever recall seeing anyone else high up in the sky from her class before. She never knew Bakugo could reach so high.

As expected of a wanna be number one hero, he always beat the expectations.

Ochako wished she could do that, just once.

“Hi Bakugo.” She smiled gummy wide. “What’re you doing here?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He roared, much closer now. “Do you have a fucking death wish?”

Death wish? What on earth was he talking about? All she wanted to do was drift and have some quiet up in the sky. After everything, didn’t she deserve just a little break? Sure, it was selfish, but surely it would be more selfish to just keep going and being useless until everything collapsed around her even more?

A warm hand grabbed her and without thinking she took his gravity away, allowing the blonde to suspend next to her in the blue.

“It’s nice up here.”

“It’s fucking freezing! Your shitty ass is probably hypothermic right now.” He growled, looking a little pale. “You cant just vanish like that.”

Now he sounded like a nagging parent.

Ochako laughed again, feral sounding. This was crazy, absolutely insane. She had to be dreaming because grumpy mcblast of all people was floating next to her hundreds of meters above the surface of the earth!

“So bossy.”

“C’mon cheeks, time to go.” Bakugo said, ignoring the jab. Ochako’s eyed widened slightly at the hint of concern in his voice, shocked that Bakugo of all people was expressing worry over someone like her. He didn’t have to baby sit her, she as fine on her own, just like always.

“I want to stay a little longer.” She said softly, fixing her gaze on the horizon. “You can go ahead.”

“For fucks sake cheeks, you’re about to faint and your quirk will give out! Do you want to fucking dive bomb and splat to your death?”

Honestly? It didn’t sound too bad, as long as she wasn’t awake for it.

Whatever Bakugo saw on her face he didn’t like it, because suddenly he was grabbing her waist in his hands and pressing her back to his front.

“Take us down. Now.”

Ochako shivered at the deep voice in her ear, but reluctantly obeyed, slowly adding gravity back to the two of them so they would drift gently back down.

She’d been tempted to remove it all at once, to just get it over with, but she couldn’t do that to Bakugo. He had nearly died before- she couldn’t be the reason he died again.

Not bright, explosive Bakugo, who had grown so much and always spoke his mind. Ochako may have deserved to be a lifeless corpse in some ditch somewhere but Bakugo Katsuki did not.

So she took them down and eventually landed them on the roof of their dorms.

“Aizawa’s been looking for you.” Bakugo finally said at last when they landed, releasing her waist as soon as his feet touched the concrete. “You’ve been gone for hours fuck face.”

“Hours?” It had only felt like five minutes to her.

Bakugo pinched his nose and took several deep breaths. Clearly he had reached his level of dealing with others for the day.

“You’re coming with me.”

“Where?”

“You really are stupid. To see the bastard, duh!”

Ochako blinked dully at him, trying to comprehend what he was saying. Did Bakugo always talk in slow motion?

“Cheeks, are you fucking listening to me?”

“Cheeks!”

“I’m okay.” She whispered, stretching her cheeks upwards in an attempt to comfort him, “I’m fine.”

Then she fell backwards off of the roof.

Chapter Text

She didn’t know falling would be so loud.

The wind whistled in her ears, a roar so loud she could barely think. Everything was hazy now and the sky seemed to be seeping into the building above her, turning everything a delicate periwinkle.

Ochako had always preferred the sky at sunrise, but this was nice too. The colour was very soothing, a balm on her beaten soul. She relaxed into the wind, making no use of her quirk as she plummeted downwards. It was funny how much time seemed to stretch, because she had so many thoughts buzzing round her head and she hadn’t even hit the ground yet.

Her eyelids slowly shut as she allowed herself to smile one last time. It was a brittle thing, full of her heartbreak and pain, but it was real. Not a smile for anyone else other than her. In her final moments Ochako heard a scream, loud and angry and full of life. A warm hand on her arm, a brilliant shining red and then-

Nothing.

She was finally at peace.

***

Waking up was the hardest thing Ochako had ever had to do.

It wasn’t like she was physically injured, her body still healing from multiple stab wounds in some random hospital. She hadn’t been concussed or injured during training. No, it was just nearly impossible to convince herself to open her eyes and face reality once more.

She had failed, again. She couldn’t even kill herself properly.

The thought almost short circuited her brain. Had she really been about to die? Did she even want that? Most days, the answer was yes, but what about all those people relying on her? What about the civilians who needed her to help them survive? Had she always been such a selfish person?

Her thighs burned in answer.

Painfully, Ochako peeled open her eyes. The sterile walls of UA infirmary stared back at her. This time she was placed right next to recovery girls desk, as far from the window as possible. She couldn’t recall a time before then that the windows had been closed. There would be no escaping this time around.

For some reason Bakugo was asleep in a chair to the side of her bed, scowling with crossed arms even when dreaming. It made perfect sense to Ochako for him to be annoyed even when resting, so much so that she laughed a little, almost hysterical at the sight, which woke him up with a start.

“what the hell we’re you thinking cheeks? You could’ve died!” He hissed, trying his best not to yell- which for Bakugo was a very big achievement indeed.

He had been forced into anger management classes after the war and it seemed to be working out pretty well for him apparently.

“Shit, if I hadn’t been there…” he shook his head in disgust. Was it her imagination, or did he look genuinely concerned? Another needle of guilt pricked her skin as she analysed his pale face. Bakugo wasn’t the type to pity others and when he was worried it was serious, because he didn’t like to waste his time on trivial matters. To have made him of all people fear about her well being told her a lot about how bad she must have been.

“I’m sorry.” Ochako replied, grimacing at how tiny her voice came out. It was a far cry from her usual bold and energetic way of speaking. Why did Bakugo always have to see her at her weakest moments? She wanted to crawl into her bed and disintegrate into her blankets. “My quirk gave out. I fainted I think.”

An easier explanation than a poorly planned suicide attempt, one that was much more believable than the truth at any rate. No would even think that Uravity of all people had wanted to become a mere splatter on the ground, not a promising new hero like her.

“Well don’t do shit like that on your own!” This time he did yell, clearly unable to hold back any longer.

Honestly, Ochako was surprised at the reaction, it felt extreme even for Bakugo. Or maybe she just couldn’t feel the same depth as he did in that moment. She had been running on fumes for so long the tank was finally empty, she had nothing left to feel. How did he always have so much emotion? It was like a never ending wave of anger, annoyance and determination.

“I’m sorry.” She repeated.

“How dare you yell at my patient young man!” Out of nowhere a newspaper hit Bakugo on the head. Recovery girl had returned to her office and to say she looked annoyed was an understatement.

She looked absolutely livid.

“Hey! Watch it hag.” Bakugo mumbled but did lower his head slightly in submission to the much smaller woman. Despite her quirk being used to heal, recovery girl really was a force to be reckoned with.

“Go and find Aizawa.” She told him, glaring until he finally stood up, muttering under his breath words Ochako didn’t even know existed. She was convinced he had to be making at least some of those profanities up.

“Bakugo.” She called out, stopping the blonde in the doorway. There was so much to say, so much Ochako wanted to express but the words didn’t seem to exist in the world to encapsulate her feelings. “Thank you.”

It rang hollow in her ears, but it was something people would expect her to say. She would’ve preferred yelling at him for getting in her way but she simply didn’t have the energy. It would be pointless at any rate. She had failed and now she was back where she started.

“Tch. Whatever.” He glanced back at her for a moment before walking out, slamming the door behind him in typical Bakugo fashion.

“That boy.” Recovery girl sighed, shaking her head a little at his antics. “And you’re no better young lady.”

“Me?” She gulped, fearful to face the old woman’s wrath. The fact that Bakugo listened to her and didn’t argue back was testament to the her character. You didn’t mess with recovery girl. Ever.

“Sneaking out like that, right after you had just woken up? Do you understand how risky that was for your health?”

Ochako shrank back into the bed. She hadn’t considered that fact when she left, it hadn’t occurred to her until she had decided to take the fall. How did someone even respond to that?

“I’m sorry.” It seemed like she would never stop being sorry from how often she had said those words recently. Sorry for leaving, sorry for not getting earning enough, not saving everyone, not being enough. In those two words she apologised not just to recovery girl, but to the universe for her very existence.

And still it was not enough.

“It’s alright dear, you’ve been through a lot this past week.”

“Week?”

“Didn’t Bakugo tell you? You’ve been unconscious for five days, plus the two from when Aizawa bought you in.”

over a week. She’d been asleep for over a week. How was that even possible?

“But what about the exams?”

“You won’t be sitting them.”

Ochako nearly fell out of bed when her home room teacher appeared out of nowhere, as pale as a ghost and his eyes looking almost completely red and dry. it was like someone had resurrected a corpse and told him to go and teach and bunch of kids.

Aizawa should’ve been the one in the hospital bed, not her.

“Oh.” She truly didn’t know what to say. “Can I go back to sleep?”

“Of course dear, get as much rest as you can.” Recovery girl agreed, fussing over her like a grandmother over a sick child.

“We will talk when you wake up.” Aizawa promised.

Ochako didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t was to know what else she had messed up and she didn’t want to have to face her class either. Bakugo had been okay but just thinking about Deku or Mina made her stomach crawl. They would be so… sad and then she would have to comfort them and she just didn’t have the energy anymore.

She turned away from her teachers and shut her eyes, wishing she never woke up again.

***

Shouta had been having a bad week, and that was before he spoke to Bakugo.

Todoroki had been easy enough to deal with. He had talked to his students elder sister about their home life and the two had agreed Todoroki would stay with him until Endeavour could prove to be a sufficient enough guardian. His sister had wanted to take in her brother but because she still lived under the same roof as the ex number one hero they figured it would be best for his students mental health to stay away for a while.

Talking to Todoroki had gone smoothly too. When asked about his opinion, he’d simply nodded and asked when he needed to pack by, giving no hint of his true feelings. Shouta still kept a close eye on him in class of course, and he seemed fine enough.

It was a little hard to tell considering Uraraka had been gone missing two days before.

He hadn’t told his class anything, just that the mission she’d been on had been more gruelling than expected so she was taking some time away to recover. It was the best he could think of during the circumstances and it was horrible to watch his class sag under the unspoken weight of grief.

Shouta should’ve done a better job at explaining what happened to her, he should have waited until she’d seen the therapist or at least eaten something before he lay down every gritty detail before her. He had been weary and heart sore from watching his once bubbly and bright student become a shell of herself.

Uraraka’s pale face as she begged her parents to stay would be etched into his mind forever.

He was lucky that he guessed where she had gone so quickly. Shouta wasn’t sure her parents would’ve kept their promise for much longer when they were face to face with their daughter. It had hurt, taking her unconscious body away from the house Uraraka had been raised in her whole life. He wasn’t even sure she would forgive him.

But he would rather be hated than have her break completely. He could be a villain if it meant helping his student become happy again.

Shouta had left with a sigh and headed back to his class. He’d scheduled in a talk with Bakugo about living arrangements- saving the most explosive for last and he’d had to chug six shots of espresso to even feel half way ready for the upcoming shitstorm.

Bakugo Katsuki was a proud person. He’d gone through hell and back protecting his country and he was an extremely capable- if prickly student. It was hard enough getting him to sit down for therapy every week, Shouta didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to say to get the kid to agree without resulting in a few holes in the wall.

His eyes were in desperate need of some eye drops.

It had been easy enough to tell Bakugo was rattled at the thought of going home. Aizawa had met his parents and he knew something was a little off in that pristine mansion of theirs. The note hidden amongst a pile of homework had been the final straw. It was clear the classmate wanted to remain unknown and had no idea of how to help Bakugo out themselves. Shouta was just glad Uraraka had considered him first before doing something drastic like his problem children were prone to do.

He had known it was her as soon as he read the note. No one else wrote on the paper UA provided in that class. Looking back, Shouta was shocked how she could manage so much and still find the time to genuinely worry about others.

Another warning sign he had missed. Had he always been so blind?

Sighing, he shuffled through the halls until at last he reached classroom 2-A. They were about to head off for lunch after having English with Hizashi. Shouta knew from experience it was better to talk to kid then rather than in liu of battle practice.

“Bakugo. With me.”

Shouta glared at Kaminari and Mineta who were ‘ooing’ the blonde. To his credit, Katsuki didn’t kick up a fuss. He simply packed up his bags, shot a murderous look that had his immature classmates cringing backwards in fear as he stalked towards the door. He didn’t look too pleased at being pulled away, but he also wasn’t forcing Shouta to use his scarf to drag him away, which was a win.

Lately it felt like wins were few and far between.

They walked to the meeting room in silence, which suited both of them just fine. When Shouta opened the door, Bakugo stormed in and flung himself onto the couch, deliberately slouching to give the impression of arrogance and carelessness.

If there was one thing Aizawa knew about Bakugo, he was anything but careless. Reckless yes, but Bakugo was always the one hero in class he could rely on to have every piece of homework in on time, every bit of gear cleaned and ready to go, every plan well thought out and considered. He was going to become an excellent hero.

“What the hell is this about?” The blonde snapped, rage simmering under the surface.

The only major downside, Shouta thought critically, was Bakugo’s abrasive nature. Interviews would be hard, gossip sheets would run rampant, but Shouta thought his student would be fine nonetheless. The media would deem him controversial, but praise him for being ‘genuine’. Plus, Bakugo would appeal to both male and female audiences. He would have a dedicated fan base even if the way he treated others was less than ideal.

“I need to have a conversation with you about living arrangements after exams.”

Shouta did not miss the tension which suddenly appeared in his student’s shoulders, or the narrowing of his eyes. Carefree teenager to wild animal in an instant.

“I’m going back home. What’s there to talk about.”

“Bakugo, it seems like your home isn’t the best environment for you at the moment.” Shouta tried, wincing at his approach. He’d never been good at the emotions side of things- there was more than one reason why he was an underground hero after all. “Some of your classmates have expressed concerns-“

“Who the fuck said that?” His tone was deceptively quiet.

“You know I’m not obliged to share that information.”

“I’ll fucking kill them. Why the hell would they be telling shitty lies like that? Living with the old man and the hag is fine. Better than here!” He roared the last part, almost as if he needed to convince himself as well as his teacher.

Bakugo was scared.

Shouta remembered after the battle where Bakugo had died. He’d been shaken up, confused, upset, angry but not frightened. The kid in front of him had fought against the worst threat Japan had ever faced and he hadn’t been nearly as scared as he was in that room.

“There are alternatives for the summer.” Shouta pressed. “It would-“

“Hell no. Take your shitty foster homes and shove them up your ass!” Smoke was coming from his palms.

“Bakugo, you will not be placed into the foster system.”

“Yeah right.” Bakugo scoffed, rolling his eyes. “A group home? A friend of a friend? Don’t feed me that bull.”

“You would be living on UA grounds, with Yamada sensei and I as your legal gardens. You would be able to train every day using the facilities here. This would of course be kept secret from the rest of your class.”

Bakugo gaped at him. It was easy to see the disbelief in his eyes, the promise sounded much too good to be true.

“No.”

“You won’t be alone, there will be a couple of other students remaining here-“

“No!”

“I’ll give you some time to think it over, but as I have serious concerns over your life at home, this will be happening.” Shouta said, finality dripping from his voice like poison. “I’ve met your parents Bakugo, I know what they are like and they are not the sort of people you need to be around right now.”

“You can’t fucking decide that.” He hissed, looking more and more like a cornered wolf. “I fought a fucking war for you, I died. I should get to choose where I live.”

Shouta knew, objectively he was right. Shouta also knew that Bakugo could end up dying if he went back to that house. His heart shrivelled just a little more as he regarded his prickly student. When you were young, you didn’t see any other choice, you had no escape and now that he was offered one, Bakugo didn’t know what to do.

“I’m outta here.” The blonde huffed, getting up and slamming the door behind him with so much force the windows rattled. Not the most productive conversation ever, but he would work on it. Shouta had been smart in offering Bakugo training access, something he had discussed in depth with Nezu just a week before.

Permission for Shouta and Hizashi to live in one of the large houses at the edge of UA grounds with their troubled students to act as their guardians. Gym access, training ground access and permission to leave campus all granted to them during vacation periods. They had buried it under a mountain of documents to hide it from the government, a temporary solution whilst they worked on securing permanent dorms for the kids.

It was the best he had been able to do on such short notice.

Shouta allowed himself to close his eyes for a few minutes before getting to his feet and walking back to his office. He needed hell of a lot more coffee to mark all the homework for 2-A. Honestly, why hadn’t he listened to the other teachers and given them less? A shit tonne of work for them meant a shit tonne of work for himself.

But then, he had to make sure that they had an education to fall back on should the worst happen. He wanted his kids to succeed wherever they ended up, not working some dead end job till their backs gave out.

The next couple of hours passed in relative peace, marking homework and gulping down coffee was one of Shouta’s only remaining times of calm in his life. Gang activity and low level crime had increased since the war and he’d been working the streets twice as hard in response. If Eri had stayed home he probably would’ve been doing half that, maybe even less.

Now he could barely stand to be in his own home alone without the grey haired girl with her adorable rose red eyes.

Shouta was just organising the homework he’d set for his different classes when the door to the teachers lounge slammed open, a frazzled Bakugo standing there.

“Cheeks…. She’s with the hag.” He stuttered, looking truly panicked and concerned.

“She is.” He nodded.

“No I- for fucks sake!” Bakugo screamed, punching the war in frustration.

“Bakugo, sit down and have some water. Explain to me the situation.” Shouta said calmly, more concerned over his explosive students reaction than Uraraka being in with recovery girl.

The blonde collapsed onto the chair by his desk whilst Shouta filled up an old All Might mug he’d stolen from the pro heroes desk with water. If Bakugo noticed whose mug he was drinking from, he didn’t say anything. Thankfully he calmed down a little after that, because Shouta really didn’t feel like restraining him with his scarf.

“I was practicing my agility in the air.” Bakugo finally said, glaring at his hands like they had personally offended them. “I was on my back trying to do a tighter loop when I saw something go floating up in the sky. Recognised it as cheeks. Just assumed she wanted some time to herself or whatever but-“

Bakugo took another gulp of water.

“She just kept going up. I’ve never seen her go that high before, and the idiot wasn’t even in training gear, just some stupid ass shorts and top!”

Was it Shouta’s imagination, or what Bakugo blushing? Actually, it was probably just pent up anger and frustration at what happened. How did Uraraka even get out in the first place?

The pit in his stomach was threatening to become a black hole as guilt now nipped at him like a dog at his heels.

“So I went up to tell her to get the fuck down because it was dangerous, but then she used her shitty quirk on me! Nearly froze my fucking dick off. Finally convinced her to float us down and she landed us on the edge of the roof and then-“ his throat bobbed.

“She fell backwards. Musta been quirk fatigue or some shit because she didn’t use her quirk. I had to dive down and save her. Nearly…. Didn’t nearly make it. She passed out so I took her to the hag.”

Shouta didn’t know what to say. What the hell had Uraraka been thinking? She had been lucky Bakugo was there, because most of the others wouldn’t have been able to stop her.

Unless that was the point.

The thought was too much to bear, so Shout just pushed it away and focused on the present moment, with yet another one of his clearly traumatised children.

“You did a good job Bakugo. It’s most likely Uraraka wanted some peace and quiet but experienced quirk fatigue due to her strenuous mission. Your quick decision making and reflexes saved her. Well done. She should be fine in a few days.”

The words came out a lot more confidently than they felt. Bakugo seemed to relax a fraction, but Shouta could tell from his white knuckle grip on his school pants that it would take him a while to get over that particular incident.

“And… for fucks sake.” The blonde muttered. Shouta decided against admonishing him for his language, on account of the emotional stress he had just gone through. Distantly, he was already feeling sorry to whatever poor media manager got saddled with Bakugo. “I’ll do the house thing, or whatever on one condition. No one can know.”

Shouta nodded. He’d already promised to keep it from 2-A, but he understood why Bakugo would feel the need to reassert this fact.

Even agreeing to such a plan was a big step up for Bakugo, who had once been too proud to ever admit help. It was good to see at least one student improving a little.

Shouta nodded. “It will all be kept strictly confidential.”

Bakugo nodded stiffly, before walking out of the room without another word- probably to return to his strict schedule he had cultivated for himself.

Shouta watched him leave before turning back to his desk. From now on, Uraraka would be his top priority. He would protect her, no matter what. There would be no more distractions, no more excuses, no overlooking her ever again.

If anyone saw the single tear hastily wiped away from eraserheads cheek, they probably chalked it up to a trick of the light. After all, when had that stoic man ever been known to cry? Certainly not over his students, that much was known.

And if Shouta bawled his eyes out to Hizashi in bed that night, only his partner had to know the truth- how heavily it all weighed on his shoulders, how much guilt he carried inside.

Shouta knew he couldn’t control life and death, he couldn’t change fate, but for Uraraka he had to at least try.

Chapter Text

Ochako didn’t get out of bed for the rest of the week. She’d requested not to have anyone from her class come and visit, preferring to sleep or stare into space when she wasn’t being seen to by recovery girl, or the schools other therapist- requested because of the fact they were not a hero. Aizawa had been concerned about that for whatever reason, one Ochako couldn’t be bothered to learn.

It didn’t matter. Her parents weren’t coming, they’d left her all alone. She was just as useless to them as she was to everyone else.

She’d been placed in silence and had decided to become one with it, not a single squeak escaped the cage she was being kept within. A trained canary, sitting dutifully on her perch until she would be sent to her death.

The room she’d been put in was two doors down from the main infirmary, serene in its solitude with a great view of the training grounds. The windows had been locked shut, except for the one too small to fit through at the top to allow fresh air to circulate.

No one had sent anything, for which Ochako was glad for. She didn’t think she could handle her friends knowing the truth. The only exception was some strawberry mochi and a container of soup, which were currently sitting in the small mini fridge in the corner of her room uneaten. She didn’t really have much of an appetite these days.

Ochako couldn’t remember the last time she’d been hungry.

Her classmates would be almost finished with their exams now, with only a few days left until the break. She was pretty sure math was on the last day, or maybe it had been physics.

What would it be like for them? Were the papers as hard as she had feared, or were the teachers taking it easy on them for once? What would it be like to not work to the bone to support your parents, to go home to a place filled with things? Where a family was waiting, who would never even dream of leaving their kid behind? The thoughts haunted Ochako, no matter how hard she tried to hide in her mind. They chased her through every waking moment and into her dreams, leering at her from the recesses of her consciousness.

The therapist, a nondescript person named Ito hadn’t told her much about why those questions terrorised her. They didn’t tell her much of anything at all. Perhaps it was because Ochako refused to talk.

“I can’t help you if you don’t want to be helped.” They had sighed after the third session, where Ochako couldn’t even bring herself to look away from the window. Opening her mouth, even the vibration of her vocal cords seemed to require too much effort. She had nothing left to give, so she sat and she stared and she wished she would just die already.

What none of the adults seemed to understand was that every issue had, she couldn’t fix anymore. Not with them constantly monitoring her and confining her to that room. How was she supposed to get better if she wasn’t allowed to do anything for herself?

Personally, she didn’t think Ito was a great therapist. Not that it mattered, because no one asked her what she wanted or what she thought.

As if being seventeen meant everything you said was useless in comparison to the word of an adult. Never mind she was a war hero, never mind she’d taken down a LoV member herself, who was now safely tucked away in the highest security floor Tartarus offered. Despite the scars and the knowledge of battle and the countless lives she had saved, Ochako was not trusted because she was still too young.

Too much and yet never enough. She was losing hope of ever finding a space to fit herself completely in. Perhaps one didn’t exist at all.

Aizawa had stopped by a few times, he kept wanting to talk to her about her parents. Ochako knew that. She knew he would tell her what was going on- but it just felt so fake and artificial. Why did she have to hear news about them through a second hand source? Why couldn’t they just phone her like normal parents did to speak with their kid?

If no one wanted to listen to her, why did she have to listen to any of them?

When her teacher came, she just turned onto her side and shut her eyes, waiting for him to leave. Sometimes it took minutes, other times it felt like eons before he heard him shuffle out of the door. Why was it so hard for them to understand she just wanted to disappear?

Her only relief was in the shower with her razor.

No one thought she was a suicide risk, she knew because Ito had told her so. They viewed her silence as something psychological or whatever relating to her trauma. It was funny, just how wrong they were.

Ochako ignored the hurt in her stomach when she realised no one had noticed. No one cared.

But that was a good thing, because she didn’t want them to notice, she didn’t want to be perceived as doing it for attention or some cry for help. She cut to rid herself of the emotions, to find peace in her mind. She didn’t have the confidence quite yet to slit her wrists, but she was working on it. Every day she got a little braver, a little more confident in herself to do the right thing.

(And still no one asked and no one questioned. Midoryia never came breaking down the door and Mina never burst in guns blazing. Her parents never walked through that stupid, stupid door.

She was drowning and the only person to watch her go under was herself.

So yeah, she cut herself, so what? What was anyone going to do about it? They didn’t know, they would never fucking know would they?)

If only all for one had been around. He could’ve had her quirk and then she would finally be able to shake free the lady vestiges of guilt tying her to the ground.

That thought was one she knew she could never say out loud.

Ochako found her quirk the hardest part to reason around. She was extremely valuable for rescue missions in particular, large scale disasters with masses of debris and broken homes. It was so useful in fact she’d been called in several times even though the government had placed a ban on any child or hero in training under the age of eighteen from working on missions. None of her friends had been asked to do that.

No one else her age had been called up to search for dead babies and tell families their mother hadn’t made it.

If she died, who would take her place? Her heart wouldn’t be able to handle it if they just plucked a kid up off the street with a quirk similar enough to hers and trained them up- just like they did to Hawks, just like Endeavour did to Todoroki and so many others had done to their own kids. Ochako didn’t want to live, but she also couldn’t die knowing she would only be continuing the cycle.

Every day, the voices got a little louder, offering her ways out of solutions to the issue, wouldn’t it just be so easy to bleed out in the shower, with no one around? They didn’t care what she did as long as she didn’t leave her room- and they’d given her an en suite to boot. at any other time Ochako would’ve marvelled at the luxury, but now all she could see it as was a neon sign telling her to end it all.

But she didn’t want to be like them, so instead of a wrist it was a thigh, neat little lines instead of a giant gaping mouth, all ordered like little soldiers.

Ochako had big thighs, so she had plenty of room for her army to expand.

She thought it was Friday by then, but time wasn’t exactly linear within that place. It felt as if she’d aged a hundred years and yet she had only counted nine meals or was it ten? She was picking at her lunch when Aizawa walked in, looking more walking dead than competent teacher.

However Ochako felt, Aizawa seemed to appear as. Maybe he was her own sleep paralysis demon. Wouldn’t that be nice, if it was all some twisted dream and not her cursed reality?

“Uraraka.” He acknowledged, taking a seat on the only chair in the room, a few feet to her right. Ochako made eye contact, but didn’t bother saying a greeting. It was too late to pretend to be asleep, and she didn’t feel so mean as to slide under the covers whilst her teacher was actually in the room. At least she had graduated to looking at him now, though it had taken her a few days to even do that. “We don’t have to talk, I just wanted to leave this with you.”

From somewhere in his baggy black outfit he pulled out a parcel, nondescript and beige. It could have been anything from a bomb go a glitter body spray, though Ochako severely doubted either. Aizawa placed it on the small bedside cabinet to her left, careful not to press into her personal space before returning to his usual slouched position.

It felt strangely liberating, not to be in constant contact with others. Sometimes Ochako felt like she was more stuffed toy than human, being passed around her friends like a rag doll. Though of course it only added to her uselessness at the idea that her friends didn’t truly need her anymore.

Something she liked to consider deeply, but not with Aizawa sniffing around.

“I just wanted you to know, once the school year ends, you will be living under the care of Yamada sensei and I. You will be living on UA grounds alongside a Bakugo, Todoroki and Shinso. You will have full access to the gym and training facilities.”

Ochako’s mouth popped open in an ‘o’, her brain scrambling to make sense of what she had just been told. Her teacher really had no concept of small talk before dropping information.

Maybe he wasn’t a paralysis demon, but a robot instead? He was already half way there after the war, it made sense that-

Had he said, living?

With him?

With Yamada sensei?

With freaking Bakugo, Todoroki and Shinso?

Living? She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to that part on its own. But with teachers? Three wildly different boys from her class all in one place for the whole of the break? It sounded like a reality show Mina would watch, not real life.

Surely this was some sort of joke.

Then again, Ochako’s parents revealing themselves to be addicts hadn’t been on anyone’s radar, so maybe it wasn’t too left field. Plus, when had her teacher ever told a joke?

Leave it to Aizawa to deliver news in the most blunt way possible. Though, there probably wasn’t a way in which that news wouldn’t be shocking. It felt too surreal to be reality and for a brief moment, Ochako was curious- she wanted to see what it would be like.

The arguments, the food, the pillow fights she would most certainly instigate.

“This will of course be kept confidential, no one in your class has any knowledge of this.” Aizawa continued, swaying slightly like he was about to pass out in front of her. Did he need to recharge or something? When was the last time he slept? And more importantly-

“What about my parents?” Her voice was scratched and broken from days of disuse, but they carried through the space well enough. She didn’t even know where they were or what they were doing, did they even care about her?

“They’re currently in a ninety day rehabilitation programme two hours away. We have informed them of where you will be staying and they will be able to get in contact once they complete the first four weeks.”

Oh.

Ochako wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel about that.

“Uraraka, your parents love you enough to fight their addiction. It may not seem like it now, but this really is the best thing they can do for you.” Aizawa said softly. Despite everything, Ochako felt a little more steady at his words. Aizawa wasn’t the type of person to lie to someone to make them feel better.

If she asked, he would tell her every gritty detail, every painful interaction which would rip into her skin a thousand times. Maybe it wasn’t true, maybe it was just his perspective, and okay sure she wasn’t exactly happy with him at the moment- but that didn’t make him a liar.

“Ochako. I truly am sorry.”

She didn’t know what to say.

What was there to say? Thanks for ruining her life with good intentions? Thanks for locking away her parents and getting her fired from the only well paying job she had access to? And still, her teachers sincerity hit her like a bullet to the chest.

She wanted to scream at him, to throw things in his face and call him names. Ochako wanted to rage, to let out her sadness and her anger onto someone or something other than herself. But she couldn’t, because her whole like Ochako had been moulded to understand, to see things from her friend’s points of view.

It was hard to know what was real and what was just a screwed perspective. Her teacher could be sincere but still make the wrong the decisions, her parents may have loved her but still made irreversible mistakes.

Ochako didn’t know what to think. With just a few sentences Aizawa had sent her head spinning and she had to physically shake herself to get rid of the spiral she was descending down.

She hardly noticed Aizawa slip away, clearly uncomfortable with the with the vulnerable conversation he had instigated.

Not that it mattered. She was quickly getting used to being abandoned.

Her parents loved her. She knew this, it was a fact. Well, it had been. Ochako could understand on a rational level why they had to leave their home. If they didn’t get clean, they would be forever lost to their addiction and there was nothing she would be able to do to save them.

But the small child inside of her, the girl who had been yearning for months for a mothers hug and a fathers kind words had been crippled inside of her. Ochako had seen many things, too many things really, but in her head it had all been bareable because she knew they were at home waiting for her.

Who was waiting for Ochako now?

She stared out of the window until Recovery girl had done her nightly rounds before reaching for the package. It wasn’t very heavy and had clearly been ordered online based on the packaging.

Ochako tentatively peeled it open, only to discover a colouring book and a pack of a hundred and thirty six water soluble pens. A cozy colouring book and markers, did Aizawa think she was a kid? She eyed the cute looking bear in a cozy living room on the front cover. It seemed so content and peaceful with life. The bear stared at her and for some reason she wanted to scream.

She was seventeen now for crying out loud! Aizawa really was out of touch with the current generation.

But…

It wasn’t like she had anything else to do. Her phone had been confiscated, her school work was non existent and it wasn’t like she had many hobbies outside of hero training.

Ignoring the bear, she began to organise herself, pulling her now shoulder blade length hair out of her face and moving her pillow to sit upright. Geez, when was the last time she had cut her hair?

Oh. Hagiwara had liked it longer. Got her a little bonus after each night.

Never mind.

She laid out the pens to her left side on the bed and cracked open the colouring book. The figures and designs of the cozy environments were strangely soothing. Clear lines and areas for shading. Ochako wouldn’t have to think that hard at all.

What would it be like to live in a world so simple? There were no lies or bad things to happen, no family to abandon her. Maybe she could use it to escape, just for a little while.

Flipping through the pages, she landed on a cute bakery, filled with cakes and yummy deserts. She often dreamed of earning enough money to go to a cafe and trying every single sweet treat they had on their shelves. Even one single slice of cake would do.

Ochako stared for several long moments, working up the nerve to make the image her own. At last, she selected a light pink colour, one that reminded her of mochi and laughing with her friends.

That night Ochako learnt just how soothing it could be to colour.

While it didn’t fix her problems, or make the world a better place, it brought some weird zen to her which she had so far only achieved with a razor.

Maybe that was why she finally decided to talk to recovery girl in the morning, or why she agreed to finally, finally get changed and get out of bed not just for the bathroom, but for the outside world. Maybe that was why she allowed herself to be taken back to the dorms to pack her bag.

It would’ve been a hassle for anyone else.

She just had one bag, a colouring book and some pens.

Chapter Text

Ochako wasn’t sure what to expect, but a European Tudor style house was definitely not it.

Trust UA to build the most conspicuous building to try and hide the fact they were illegally fostering their problem children on school property. Actually, why was she suprised? Ochako had met Nezu and she was taught by Aizawa and Yamada daily, this was most definitely something they would do. Aizawa had probably advocated to house them in sleeping bags and feed them on a diet of coffee and fruit pouches.

She had been the first of the four teenagers to arrive, owing largely to the combined factors of waking up early and not having much stuff to carry. Plus, she would be the only girl living there, as Yamada explained on their walk over. She deserved to have first pick of the rooms.

It was strange, seeing the blonde man not dolled up and ready for a rock concert. His hair was pulled back in a bun and instead of sunglasses he had a normal pair of glasses perched on his nose. His fashion sense was more in line with his regular outfit, and he still spoke in his upbeat radio style voice, which were the only reasons Ochako could believe he was real.

No one had prepared her for how odd it would be walking though her school deserted.

Once upon a time, Ochako would’ve floated her bag, pulling it along with a strap as she walked. Now she was walking with the full weight behind her, a tether to the ground so she wouldn’t just slip away. If Yamada noticed he didn’t say anything, yapping away about the weather and the design of the house before them.

“-since your the first to arrive you get first dibs on the room! Aizawa and I will be staying on the ground floor so you listeners have the whole first floor to yourselves! Isn’t that rad?”

Ochako nodded, still feeling overwhelmed by it all. It had only been this morning when she finally realised a crucial detail everyone else seemed to be overlooking- she would be the only girl in a household of guys. And it was also kind of odd that her teachers didn’t mind them living on the same floor when the dorms had been so much more strict.

It had been a minor miracle every time Mina or Kirishima snuck over to each other’s rooms and didn’t get caught.

At least she wouldn’t be living with Mineta. Shinso, Todoroki and Bakugo all had wildly different personalities, but none of them would ever try anything with her, she was sure of that. Plus, she did have two pro heroes under the same roof as her, so if anything did happen they would come help her out surely. Not that it mattered all that much.

Whatever they would want to take, Ochako had already given away once. The second time wouldn’t be nearly as hard as the first.

Was she really thinking such things about her classmates? They were training to be heroes, not villains! Her stomach churned as she mentally apologised to the three, feeling awful she had even considered such things for a moment. Just because she was a terrible person didn’t mean everyone else was.

“Here’s your key! Ready to open the door to your new place?” Yamada wiggled his eyebrows, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

With a tiny grin- plastered on for his sake more than hers, Ochako took the single key from the palm of his hand and approached the door. It was a very nice door, a dark brown wood with minimal details, framed with two windows on either side.

So this would be her home for the break and perhaps beyond.

The key slid in with ease, the lock turning without needing to be twisted and turned at the exact right angle to open. The door itself swung open noiselessly, something Ochako knew was normal but felt alien to her. It was a house and in her experiences all front doors should squeak and creak.

She glanced behind at Yamada, who gave her a huge thumbs up and a near manic smile in encouragement.

This was it.

She grasped her bag tightly as she stepped over the threshold, closing her eyes briefly, willing away images of her home. The hallway was spacious with minimal decorations, wooden floors and lots of natural light. Ochako slipped off her shoes and reached into her bag for her slippers, ratty and old nearer to grey than pink now, but the little piece of familiarity brought her huge comfort.

Yamada stepped in behind her, but didn’t bother to close the door or take off his shoes. “Go ahead and pick your room, I’m going to get the others so you have a little time before chaos really begins.”

“Thanks.”

Feeling the weight of her teachers gaze, Ochako began her assent up the stairs. She was grateful she only had one bag to bring up, because she was already a little tired by the time she reached the first floor. How was she so badly out of shape when she’d only missed a week’s worth of training?

Another layer added to her load. When would she be smothered to death by the weight of her shortcomings?

The lay out on the floor was simple, two rooms on either side of a short hallway, with a bathroom wedged in between at the end. All the rooms seemed identical at first as she peeked inside, performing a slow arc from right to left. Single bed, wardrobe, window, empty shelving, a desk and chair. Nothing too fancy and yet more than Ochako had ever had at home. It wasn’t until she reached the door on the left closets to the stairs that she hit the jackpot- a room the same as the others with a small en suite attached.

If she had been a better person she would’ve given it up to one of the boys. Ochako had never been too fussy about sharing a bathroom in the dorms- but that had been with the girls in her class. She shuddered to think what sharing a bathroom with two guys would be like. Probably messy and stinky and just gross.

Sure Todoroki and Bakugo seemed like neat freaks, but Ochako had been into Todoroki’s room once on an impromptu meet up involving the bi haired boy having a major panic attack and she’d seen the hurricane of devastation he left behind on the best of days. He later confided in Ochako that he’d never had the freedom to be messy before and so he was trying it out, which simultaneously broke her heart and also made her cringe.

Ochako was scatter brained and occasionally lost stuff, but she simply couldn’t imagine throwing clothes on the floor and walking on them like they were no big deal. She’d always taken great care in the little she owned, trying to make it last as long as possible before being forced to buy the cheapest replacements available.

So yeah, she was nabbing the en suite with its tiny shower, toilet and sink. She was already a horrible person, so what was one more mean thing going to do to her? She was quite clearly being sent to hell at the earliest convenience.

It was depressing really, how quickly she unpacked. Picking the room had taken longer than putting away her belongings. Ochako sat on her bed for a while, trying to come to terms with her new environment when she heard the door slam open below. The show was clearly about to start.

“Move outta my way! I’m picking first!” Bakugo yelled, followed by a dull thump. Even with the door closed Ochako could clearly hear his distinct voice and the normality of it was enough to make her giggle. Curious to hear what would happen next she crept forwards and opened her door slightly to allow her to hear better.

It was nice to be distracted from the noise in her head with the noise outside. Momentary relief from its viscous onslaught.

“Not if we get there first. Roki, ice him.” That had to be Shinso.

“But then I wouldn’t pick first.”

“You don’t care what room you get.”

“But you two do.” Ochako could picture his tiny grin as he once again became a menace. It had been her greatest joy a few months back, teaching him the tricks of the trade. The student really had become the master.

It was interesting to Ochako that Todoroki seemed to mess with Bakugo more than anyone else. Perhaps it wad because they shared a pseudo sibling bond- one Todoroki never got to truly experience in his adolescence and one Bakugo didn’t have access to as an only child. It was always hilarious to her to watch them go at it and that was at least one guaranteed positive of living in the house.

“No one is icing anyone.” Aizawa sighed in exasperation. “No quirks in the house, period. Now go and choose your rooms.”

“Get out of my damn way!”

“Ouch. Bakugo that is my hand-“

“Get your ass out of my face man, you know I don’t swing that way-“

“Everyone swings my way-“

Well, from what Ochako had seen about Todoroki’s fans, that was true. Saying it to Shinso though was completely unhinged and she loved it. She really missed her class and the banter they had.

“Stop your damn flirting and get off of me!”

The thuds and curses continued for a few more moments before at last Ochako made out an extremely disheveled, but smug Bakugo standing triumphantly at the top.

“Take that you fuckers.” He smirked at the stairs, before stomping forwards and opening the door directly in front of Ochako.

“Oh, hi Bakugo.” She said, doing an awkward little wave with a red face.

The blonde stared at her for a moment, slack jawed and Ochako had to appreciate the fact it was usually extremely hard to shock Bakugo out of his annoyed eyebrows.

“What the hell cheeks?”

“Uraraka’s here?” Lilac hair appeared to the left. “Huh.”

“I want this room.”

“Fuckin- you stay here. Icy hot!” Bakugo yelled, glancing between her and Todoroki before darting after the bi haired boy, clearly still intending to find the best room for himself.

“He’s so dramatic.” Shinso rolled his eyes. “It’ll be nice to have someone sane around here.”

Sane was definitely not an adjective Ochako would use to describe herself in the current state, but she nodded along anyway.

“Yeah, living here will definitely be-“

“I’ll kill you!”

“Bakugo, murder is a serious charge even a hero would struggle to avoid.”

“Die!”

“-Interesting.”

The two of them shared a look before Shinso rolled his eyes and shuffled towards the room diagonal from hers. “I’ll take this one.”

A moment later Bakugo appeared all dishevelled, clearly enraged at the fact he’d been last the room choice, despite having come up first. Muttering under his breath he opened the door opposite Ochako’s and peeked inside before closing it forcefully and going back down the stairs. No nuclear level meltdowns yet, but it had been a close one.

A moment later the other two walked past. Clearly they had just dumped their stuff downstairs in the race to get the best room and Ochako was once again grateful she didn’t have to share a bathroom with them.

Deciding to leave the safe space of her room, she went down stairs, skirting around the huge piles of stuff the three had accumulated.

Except it wasn’t all three of them. Shinso was carrying a single black bag up to his room. The rest clearly belonged to Bakugia and Todoroki between them.

She wasn’t surprised. Ochako was one of the few people who knew about some aspects of Shinso’s home life. He was in the system and it made complete sense he of all people would be in this weird shared house thing. The two of them weren’t all that alike in some ways, but the purple haired boy understood what it was like to have nothing in a world full of cheap consumerism. Ten thousand yen is like a billion to someone who has nothing to their name.

the house lay out was relatively simple. A large open plan space with a kitchen at the far end, a large table set in the middle and the living area closest her. There was a utility room, a bathroom and what Ochako assumed was her teachers room to complete it. The place was a little empty but welcoming for enough. She was a little surprised Aizawa and Yamada would share a room considering how different the two were, but didn’t pay it too much thought.

There on the sofa, curled up and fast asleep, was the chunkiest fluffiest grey cat she had ever seen.

“So cute!” She whispered, staring at the cat with hearts in her eyes. She absolutely adored animals and was always the first to offer Koda help with any of his friends if he asked.

In Ochako’s dream life she would have a cute puppy that she would call mochi and she would walk it every day.

The cat peeled open a bright yellow eye to stare at her, although didn’t move from its relaxed position so she took that as a signal to approach, tentatively sitting to its left with her hand outstretched for the kitty to sniff.

After a tense moment Ochako felt the soft grey fur under her palm and she grinned. The cat was adorably cuddly and so soft! After a few moments it began to purr, clearly loving the attention she was giving. Living there wouldn’t be nearly so bad now she knew there was a cute cat around!

“I see Sangsue likes you.”

Ochako nearly jumped out of her skin. “Sangsue?”

Aizawa sighed and collapsed on the couch to the right, eyeing the cat with rare affection. “It means leech in French. She can’t go two minutes without someone petting her.”

She grinned a little at the grey fluff ball under her hand. Leech was a funny enough name without the foreign word, but it suited her strangely enough. Within moments of sitting down, Sangsue had decided Ochako wasn’t enough to satiate her needs and she stood up arching her back, before leaping gracefully onto Aizawa’s lap and promptly flopping down.

“You big baby.” He groaned, acting all annoyed yet still stroking the cat with one hand whilst supporting her head and back with the other.

If only the villains could see him now. Eraserhead was so much less threatening with a cat in his lap, even if he was giving Bond villain energy.

“Unpacked okay?” Aizawa asked after a few moments. Ochako had been fiddling with a finger nail, unsure of what to say or do or just leave entirely.

“Oh yeah, all done!” She cringed at how over the top it sounded. Being around her homeroom teacher outside of class just felt so strange to her, like she was witnessing something taboo.

“We’ll take you shopping tomorrow for more stuff.”

“Oh no it’s fine!” She couldn’t even imagine asking them to spend money on her beyond groceries. She may not have been happy with the decision to be housed with classmates instead of her parents, but she definitely couldn’t be in debt with them over a few bed sheets.

“Uraraka, you won’t need to pay it back. You need to have essentials.” Aizawa said in a knowing tone, like he knew exactly what she was thinking. “We will be doing the same for the others as well.”

Others being Shinso. She wasn’t stupid. It was almost laughable how much stuff the other two had in comparison.

“Okay.” It wasn’t okay, but she was much too tired to argue.

“We’re ordering take out for lunch. Any suggestions?”

“I don’t mind, anything’s good!” She really, really wanted sushi, but it wasn’t like she could go around saying that out loud. Sushi was pricy for one person. To feed six people and with three of them being teenage boys? It would probably be extortionate.

“Hm.” Was all Aizawa said, stroking Sangsue.

Ochako sat for a few more moments in silence, wondering how she was supposed to leave the awkward silence, when she heard footsteps from behind.

“Hello. Uraraka, how are you?”

She sagged into the pillows with relief when she realised it was Todoroki who was now moving to sit next to her. He was her closest friend of the three boys and though he may not have been the best conversationalist, she knew what to say to make him smile and huff.

“Good. How did your exams go?”

“They were alright. Midoriya cried over math again.”

Of course he did. Hero stats were one thing but algebra completely foxed him- though he was amazing at English, probably from watching all the All Might documentaries and interviews from his time in America.

If Ochako had any money to her name, she would’ve bet top of the class being Bakugo, followed closely by Momo and then Todoroki. She wondered how she would have fared in the exams. Would she have struggled on the English questions? Crossed out the right answers in history?

It didn’t matter really, she wouldn’t have to sit them. Such a small thing to miss in the grand scheme of things, something most people would’ve been happy to skip. The stress and anxiety, the revision, those long gruelling hours. And yet… it was alienating, yet another way Ochako was different from her peers.

Too weak to sit some silly exams, too wrapped up in her petty emotional turmoil to study for her future.

Ochako didn’t notice when Yamada walked into the room and collapsed next to Aizawa, or when Shinso sauntered in and perched at the edge of the couch, looking almost as flighty as her. It was only when Bakugo stomped over she was finally able to pull herself back down to earth.

There they were, all assembled together a patchwork makeshift family created from desperation.

“What do you guys want for lunch? It’s going to be takeaway.”

“Cold soba.”

“Hell no, that shits disgusting.”

“I don’t care.” Shinso shrugged, sitting too still whilst Todoroki poked and prodded Bakugo with outlandish food requests.

“Uraraka, what do you want ?”

Ochako jumped out of her skin when she heard Todoroki pull her into their argument.

“I’m good for whatever, don’t worry!”

“Tch, liar.”

Red eyes bored into her. Bakugo had this strange ability to make her feel as if she was a pinned bug on the wall sometimes. It was like he was staring into her mind and extracting all the information available.

“I see you drooling over the sushi flyer on the fridge every damn day.”

Game, set, match Bakugo. Was she on fire? It definitely felt like her face was on fire. Had she always been that obvious about her desires? It was actually mortifying.

This would never have happened if she had actually managed to kill her self.

“Sushi is nice.” Todoroki agreed, nodding his head slightly.

“And Shinso?” Aizawa asked the purple haired boy, who was still yet to make a movement beyond a twitch of the head.

“Sure.”

“Awesome!” Yamada sang loudly, already tapping away on his pone. “What do you kiddos want?”

“Do they have cold soba?”

Ochako watched Bakugo squeeze his eyes shut and mutter under his breath, clearly annoyed at what he deemed as ‘improper food.’

Whatever happened to Ochako over the coming weeks, at least she would be entertained.

Chapter Text

Lunch was one of the most awkward meals Ochako had sat through in her entire life. The absurdity of the situation didn’t exactly encourage conversation. Four teenagers living with their teenagers because their home lives were varying degrees of messed up and they all knew it wasn’t something you could easily move past or laugh about.

At least the sushi was good.

Better than good. If Ochako died in that moment she would’ve died in absolute bliss. How did rice and fish taste this good? And there was so much of it too! It would be expensive feeding four heroes in training and two pros all under one roof.

Maybe Ochako shouldn’t be so greedy. She didn’t need much food at all really, just some rice and chicken with a few veggies thrown in. Breakfast of course was optional- she never really had the time before to eat it and if it would ease the burden on her teachers even a little…

Ochako tried her best to restrain herself, but the temptation of the sushi was too strong.

After that meal, she told herself as she took another piece from the middle, adding a small dab of wasabi and soy sauce. She would start after the sushi, it would be a waste not to eat it after they had already bought it right?

The excuse fell flat even to herself. She was being a greedy little pig and eating Aizawa and Yamada out of house and home. Why was she always so selfish? Why did she have to always put herself first?

Each piece of sushi that passed her lips seemed to cement her downward descent into sin, but she couldn’t stop herself from consuming each one. Was that how it would always be? Ochako falling into the bad even when she desperately tried to do good?

Each thought tore at her skin, exposing the ugliness to the world. Did the others see it like she did? Could they catch the glimpses of the monster Ochako was trying to hide? She hoped not. They deserved better than whatever she could give.

Aizawa remained mostly silent as he ate, looking like he was ready to pass out at any given moment. Shinso was just as quiet, though he looked so tense a stiff breeze would’ve pushed him over. Ochako couldn’t miss the mechanical nature Todoroki had adopted, responding mostly with nods of his head or quiet ‘yes’s to the questions Yamada occasionally fired his way.

Bakugo ate in cool silence, though everyone could easily see the tension simmering under his skin. Ochako was honestly impressed he’d been so composed about the whole thing- but looking back, Bakugo only ever really got truly angry when provoked or in a competitive sense (Deku didn’t count for obvious reasons).

With the three boys being so quiet and Yamada’s compulsive need to fill the silence, it was left to her to answer most of his questions and carry the strained conversation as best she could.

Talks of field work practises and funny missions were the main topics, safe and light hearted enough for everyone in the present company. And to be fair to her teacher- he really was good at telling a story, making her giggle on more than one occasion.

Plus, Yamada had the voice for telling a story too, he was so expressive and animated that the words seem to come to life around him. In a way, Ochako was reminded of Mina and how infectious her laughter and jokes were. What was it like, to show your true feelings like that? To laugh as if you had no cares in the world?

Was it selfish to wish for that?

Lately, everything Ochako did felt selfish. In the bad moments, each breath felt like stealing from others more deserving. She took so much and gave so little, it didn’t make any sense why she was still here when all those other people had died under those buildings and that rubble and-

“-that sound good to you guys?”

Ochako blinked at Aizawa, who had finally spoken. She’d completely missed what he had said but she was too embarrassed to say it out loud, so she stuffed another piece of sushi in her mouth and nodded, eyeing up what the others were doing around her.

Shinso looked wary, Todoroki was a blank canvas and Bakugo looked annoyed.

“Or we can go today if you want? The mall is only twenty minutes away.”

The mall. Shopping. Ochako tensed as soon as the thought crossed her mind. She didn’t have the money to shop! She wouldn’t be able to pay them back either without her job. But how did she turn the offer down without hurting their feelings?

“It’s not like I have anything else to do today.” Shinso shrugged, eyes trained on Aizawa, a cat ready to bolt at a seconds notice.

Todoroki nodded his head but otherwise said nothing and Bakugo huffed, but grumbled a “whatever” under his breath.

Ochako swallowed heavily. It wasn’t like she had a choice if everyone else wanted to go was it? “Sure, sounds good!”

If anyone else noticed the artificial happiness in her tone they didn’t say anything.

“Awesome! We can go as soon as we clear the table, cool?”

She sincerely hoped Yamada had not been expecting a sincere response as the table gave rather lacklustre assent.

Chores were to be explained the next day, Ochako learnt as she helped clear the plates- all the food had been demolished and so it was a pretty easy job all things considered. She doubted the chores would be too tiresome either, after her work at the cafe, which had occasionally involved scrubbing the toilets, nothing really phased her anymore.

Ten minutes later- and some quiet bickering between the two teachers Ochako definitely didn’t listen in to- they were all ready to go. Sort of. It was clear that none of the teens actually wanted to go to the mall and shop, but no one really wanted to spend the whole day there tomorrow either. Aizawa looked just as thrilled at the prospect of going out and it was only really Yamada who had anything positive to say at all.

If Ochako had known she would be going out, she would’ve worn her going out clothes, instead of a pair of sweatpants and a pink pull over, the words on the front too faded to be made out. Unlike Todoroki or Bakugo, whose clothing always looked effortlessly chic and put together, Ochako looked like she had stumbled out of a dumpster.

But to change she would have to actually go upstairs and swap outfits, forcing five people to wait for her to satiate her vanity. It wasn’t like she had anyone to impress either. And really, a frayed cuff and a few small holes wasn’t the end of the world. It wasn’t worth taking time out of everyone’s day to change.

“Alright listeners! We’re gonna take the van, so choose your seat wisely!” Yamada announced, before shepherding them out of the door with the skill only a seasoned teacher could master.

“No.” Bakugo said as soon as he laid eyes on the silver minivan, stickers of music notes and flowers on the side. “I’m not getting in that shit.”

Ochako had to admit it certainly was…. Something to behold. Was that a bobble head on the dashboard? She just knew the music inside of there would be deafening.

“It’s just a car Bakugo.” Ochako chided, admiring the pretty pink flower near the back. Okay it was kind of garish, but in a cute way! She could tell Yamada had put a lot of effort into it and it wasn’t like she wanted to walk or anything. “It’ll be fun!”

“It looks like a unicorn threw up on it.” Shinso deadpanned, before turning to Aizawa. “Really?”

The black haired man just sighed and sunk further into his capture weapon.

“Sho got to decorate the house so I got to decorate the car!” Yamada exclaimed, stroking the car with affection. “This baby is a rocket.”

“I’m not being seen in that thing.” Bakugo seethed, glaring at the car like it might try and attack him. Despite herself, Ochako grinned at his car snobbery. He was way more dramatic than anyone else she knew- and she was friends with Iida and Deku!

“It’s only twenty minutes Bakugo.” Aizawa sighed, resigning himself to the front seat. “Don’t make me tie you to the roof.”

Coming from most people, that would have been an empty threat, but they all knew by now how serious Aizawa was.

The blonde bared his teeth, before squeezing his eyes shut and muttering under his breath. Ochako and Shinso shared a look that had her struggling not to laugh before the van door was being slid open and Ochako made her way for the back of the car, where the leg space was bound to be less, but the bumps would be more dramatic.

Normally Ochako rarely had the chance to be in a car. Almost everything was walkable or accessible by train and bus, so there was never really any need. Plus, her family’s car had been destroyed in the war and they hadn’t been able to buy a new one since.

The chairs were comfy and the van was higher up than a car, so she had an even better view of the window. It worked out better than she thought, because Ochako was worried they’d put her in the trunk of the car in order to fit everyone in. (She’d seen it in a movie once and always thought it would kind of fun to try).

There wasn’t any fighting this time between the boys, Shinso sliding into the back with her (slightly taller than Bakugo, but wise enough not to poke the bear this time around.) with Bakugo in front of Ochako on the left hand side of the car and Todoroki in front of Shinso.

Thankfully it was Aizawa in the passenger seat (he definitely would’ve fallen asleep at the wheel) with Yamada already fiddling with the music, thankfully turning it down from what definitely had been deafening level of noise to a much more normal one. Sitting there, inspecting the others around her, Ochako felt a little giddy. It was like going on a kind of field trip and if she imagined it like that she didn’t have to think about what was coming next.

Shopping was always something of a sore spot for Ochako.

In theory, she loved it. Bright colours, endless outfits and stories and laughter but in practise it was a little more awkward. Clothes were expensive and her friends liked to shop in the more trendy places, where the prices nearly blew her head off every time she risked a peek at the tags. It wasn’t their fault they could afford it and she couldn’t, Ochako never held it against anyone else for her lack of money.

But it was hard to watch people find the perfect top and take it home with ease, while she eyed them wistfully from the window and prayed they would miraculously go on an eight percent off sale so she could finally swoop in and buy it.

That had actually happened once, Ochako’s black fitted going out top she saved for special occasions and she treasured it dearly. She had used her meager savings to pay for it, something she didn’t have the luxury of doing currently with her distinct lack of job or any means of getting income.

If her teachers weren’t so well meaning and kind, Ochako would’ve thought it was some kind of sick joke at her and Shinso’s expense.

With the music on in the background they drove in comfortable silence, soothing her slightly as they drove. It wasn’t until half way through the drive that she caught Shinso staring at her.

“Is there something on my face?” She asked, a little panicked. Just because her clothing was ratty didn’t mean the rest of her had to be!

“No it’s just uh… you looked uncomfortable back at the house.” He muttered, barely audible above the guitar riff drifting through the air.

“Oh yeah haha…” she trailed off, unsure of what to say. Out of all of them, Shinso was the most likely to understand how she felt and clearly she wasn’t too good at hiding her true thoughts if he was mentioning it then. “I’m just a bit worried is all, it’s not like I have the money to pay for a shopping trip.”

Ochako cringed slightly at her own words. She hadn’t meant to sound ungrateful at the opportunity or anything, but it sounded like she was annoyed at her teacher’s for taking the time out of their day to drive them to the mall.

“I get it.” In his plain black tee and jeans, he looked much more put together than her, but Ochako could see the worn edges and thinned out fabric.

Shinso glanced around the car quickly, determining no one else was listening in and then leaned a little closer to her. “When I used to go to a new family, sometimes they would do something similar. You don’t have to pay it back or anything. Most of the time.”

The last part was muttered quietly under his breath, like it wasn’t supposed to have been said out loud.

“They’re going to buy us stuff… for free?”

Ochako understood the concept of it, but she didn’t understand why they would waste money like that on someone like her. She had everything she needed (minus her parents) and there were kids way more deserving than she was out there.

“If it makes you feel better, pay them back through chores.” The lilac haired boy shrugged, turning his attention back to the window as if the short exchange had never occurred.

She played over his words for the rest of the journey, turning them slowly around her head until she had worn them nearly through.

Pay them back through chores? The idea was simple enough, but it was still hard to wrap her head around.

“Alright listeners! Who ready to shop till they drop?” Yamada yelled, pulling to a stop near the front of the mall. “First stop, room decor!”

Ochako waited for the others to get out before hopping down herself, a little disoriented at the current plan. The last time she had been to the mall had been a few months ago, when the last few fanatics were being rounded up and one of them had caused part of the roof to cave in.

No one had died, thankfully, but one woman had been paralysed from the waist down. A girl of around six had lost her arm. Did the others remember?

Probably not. No one else from her class had been called in. They never seemed to be called in, except for her. The others continued to walk inside, but something kept her rooted in place.

If she walked in, would she find unconscious bodies on the floor? Would there be rubble, concrete slabs jutting up like cliffs on the polished floor? Would there be screaming and the smell of debris and-

“Oi cheeks, let’s go. Stop wasting time.”

Red eyes met her own and she breathed in deeply, rooting herself to the moment. Bakugo’e jabs always had a way of anchoring her in to reality.

“Sorry!” She managed to muster up, plastering a smile on her face that felt more sickly than sweet- but it was the best she could offer and a lot better than what she had been feeling only a second ago.

No one else seemed to have noticed her odd behaviour, and Bakugo didn’t even bother to glance her away again as they entered the first store of the trip- home decoration, pillows and bed spreads were apparently top of Yamada’s list of items to buy.

It was obvious from the start who were the intended targets.

Maybe it was because of their upbringing (traumatising but not without money) but Todoroki and Bakugo seemed to have no issues finding bed spreads and decorations- though it was interesting to dissect what each boy choice.

Todoroki was very minimalistic, but each item he chose was of high quality. His sister had packed most of his belongings for him and so he didn’t really need much. He also paid for his items himself before Yamada could even get a word out, an impressive feat when Ochako reflected on it.

Bakugo was very much the same, though he took a little more time deliberating on the bed spreads, eventually going for a charcoal grey colour that seemed to match his mood. The only decorative item he chose was a utilitarian pencil holder for his desk since apparently the last one had ‘broken’ under ‘mysterious circumstances’.

(See ‘thrown at Kaminari’ for more information.)

Aizawa barely batted an eyelash, Yamada sighed said nothing, because he didn’t need to. They all knew the obvious even if no one wanted to say it out loud.

They didn’t need much because everything was already in the rooms back at the house. It was in the designer clothes both boys wore, the new phone models and fancy shoes. If anything bringing them was some sort of trick into getting Shinso and her to buy things.

In the end it was the lilac haired boy who found the first item. Black sheets for his bed, a poster of some band. A pair of black slippers. Sure, it only took some needling from Yamada and some glaring from Aizawa to get him to choose stuff, but he got there in the end.

Ochako meanwhile had no clue where to start or what to do. Everything in this shop was way, way too expensive.

She knew a great place only five minutes away from UA that had great sheets for half the price! Couldn’t they have just gone there? The lights were too bright there, too sanitary, it felt like all eyes were on her and she hated it.

And then there was the sheer range of coloured sheets staring down at her. Did she want stripes? Flowers? Textured blankets? How about fuzzy?

The pink ones were cute but probably too childish now and- that was their price?

Surely there had to be a sale section, a place for cheaper goods, anything!

“Seen anything?”

Ochako jumped an inch into the air as he heard Aizawa’s voice from behind her. “Um, not yet. Well, actually too much, it’s hard to choose!”

“Hm.”

The two stood in awkward silence. Couldn’t he have found a corner to nap in or something? The man’s eye bags had eye bags and he didn’t look quite lucid. Did he need to go to the hospital?

“What about those ones.” Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull as she watched Aizawa, her semi asleep goth teacher, awkwardly gesture to a wide bed spread with cute pink flowers on the border.

She’d been eyeing them up only a few minutes before, only to mentally declare the price too high for her to even consider.

“Those are super cute! I do really like them but-“

It was too late. As soon as she said the word cute he had grabbed the set and chucked it into the small cart Yamada was forcing him to push around.

Ochako panicked and flung herself over, pulling the sheets out and trying to put them back on the shelf so she could consider more reasonable options, when something stopped her. Aizawa, gripping the sheets and staring at her with cool eyes, like he was daring her to continue her plan.

“They’re too expensive.” She heard herself say over the roaring in her ears. It was simply too much for her to deal with. “There’s probably better ones-“

“Uraraka, stop.” All the force drained from her limbs as if on command.

Aizawa was speaking quietly enough that no one else could hear them, which was a relief. She didn’t want anyone else witnessing her embarrassment in public.

“Get the sheets, we want to buy you things. You’re a kid, you shouldn’t be worrying about money and finances right no. Let us take care of things.”

And oh, there it was.

When was the last time anyone had offered to take care of her in that way?

Her parents did once, before things started spiralling downwards and she had to step in. Even before UA she had taken on some of the burden. Working weekends at her dad’s construction sites with her quirk to save on money, doing the cooking and laundry and cleaning to make her parents feel less stressed at home.

Ochako had even learnt to budget the summer before UA to help her families finances just a little.

Even if her parents hadn’t exactly taken care of everything for her, she had been happy enough. And besides, it wasn’t like her teachers had either.

Obviously it wasn’t Aizawa’s fault they got shoved into the front lines of a war. There had been no choice and Ochako knew he hated every second of it. She knew Nezu had fought in their corner and Yamada would’ve publicly shamed the HPSC on his radio show if he could, but life hadn’t turned out that way.

They had gone from homework and tests being their biggest worry to death and destruction and back again. There was no one to step in and fight for you when you were exhausted, no teacher to correct your stance or walk you through a particularly tricky question. The only person you could rely on was yourself.

Ochako was the person who shouldered the burden. She took care of things and people and it had been so, so long since anyone had offered to do the same for her that she didn’t even notice the first few years creeping down her cheeks.

“Shit.” Aizawa muttered, looking the most awake she’d seen him in a good while.

“I-I’m sorry.” Was her voice really cracking right now? She scrubbed furiously at her face. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“It’s fine.”

Aizawa made no move to touch her, but he did warp his capture weapon around her shoulders to hide her face from the world. “You don’t need to suppress your emotions for everyone. Stay here.”

She sniffled, watching through blurry eyes as he shuffled over to where Yamada and Shinso were arguing over whether or not Shinso needed some sort of jumper. The blonde was insistent he get it while Shinso looked ready to disappear into the floor.

The two adults conversed for a moment before Aizawa returned, rubbing his jaw. “Let’s go.”

Ochako, too overwhelmed and still crying didn’t question it and instead followed her teacher out of the shop. It was only when they sat down in a cute cafe a few minutes later did she realise he had dropped off the kart with mic.

“Okay kid, order whatever you want.” Aizawa said, settling deep into his chair. He looked weirdly naked without the usual grey cloth that was currently still draped over her shoulders. “You saved me from that hell, so I’m inclined to be generous.”

The laugh that escaped Ochako was broken and brittle, but the dark haired man didn’t comment.

In the end, she went for the large hot chocolate with extra cream and marshmallows, feeling only slightly guilty that she got to have a treat whilst the others shopped on.

But Aizawa didn’t make her talk, or ask her questions or expect anything from her. So she sat and eventually stopped crying. Ochako watched the world go by, safe in her teachers capture weapon and the calming atmosphere of the cafe.

Having a hot chocolate wasn’t going to fix any of her problems, but as the sugary liquid passed her lips she had to admit, she felt better than she had in months.

Chapter Text

In the end it took Yamada and the boys another hour to finish up. By the time they arrived in the cafe Ochako was mostly back to her usual self and had finally returned Aizawa’s capture weapon- the same one he definitely was not dozing off in opposite her.

It was kind of funny to see the four of them traipse in with a small mountain of bags between them. What the heck did they even buy?

Ochako woke Aizawa up with a small kick to his leg and to his credit, the man barely flinched as he peeled back his eye lids to stare at the group before him. She was pretty sure he heard him mumble ‘for fucks sake’ under his breath, sounding extremely similar to Bakugo in that moment, inadvertently making her grin.

“Honey we’re back!” Yamada cheered joyfully, lifting his bags up as if to show them off.

“Gross.”

“Seriously?”

“What? I can’t even greet my husband now? Kids these days are something else, save me sho!” Yamada whined dramatically, glaring at Shinso and Bakugo, the latter of whom had his mouth hanging wide open.

“What the hell? You two are married?”

“Unfortunately.” Aizawa sighed, even as he stood and grabbed his husband’s shopping with practised ease.

“Bakugo, you didn’t know?”

“How the hell was I supposed to know icy hot? It’s not like they went around making out in the halls.”

“I knew.” Todoroki continued, staring blankly at the blonde. “You really should work on your deductive skills Bakugo, it’s an important skill for a hero to have.”

“Shut up-“

“Yeah man, even I noticed.” Shinso joined in, clearly loving the baiting.

“You didn’t notice shit eye bags.” Bakugo sputtered. “You’re making this up.”

“I did too. I thought everyone knew? Mina never shuts up about it.” Ochako found herself joining in, smirking at the murderous look thrown her way. “There was one time when-“

“Alright listeners time to roll out!” Yamada interrupted, and if Ochako didn’t know any better she would’ve thought he was flushing, like he knew exactly what story she was going to tell.

It had been their own fault anyway for getting hot and heavy in the classroom when she and Mina had walked in from lunch one day a few months ago. The pink haired girl had been threatened to secrecy which lasted about a day, but too be fair it wasn’t that well known outside their class.

Ochako was just surprised Bakugo of all people hadn’t known. Despite his pig headedness at times he was usually quite perceptive, although maybe that was only around hero- centric activities. Deku was much the same in some aspects.

Once again Aizawa muttered something under his breath, but this time she was a little too far away to make out the words, which was unfortunate because Ochako had a feeling it would’ve made her laugh.

Like, really laugh.

That was a startling thought.

As she trailed the others back to the van, she thought back to what Aizawa had done for her.

The Uraraka household had been very big on physical affection. Hugs were the norm and if she was ever sad Ochako didn’t have to hesitate before launching herself at her dad for a bear hug that had probably cracked a few ribs over the years, or cocooned herself in her mothers warm embrace.

Even her friends would offer hugs and support- Deku and Mina would fuss over her, Tsu would hold her hand and tell her jokes, even Iida offered a hug occasionally.

It had been weirdly nice to receive something so… different.

Aizawa hadn’t touched her, or overwhelmed her or questioned her in any way. He had simply removed her from the overwhelming situation and let her be.

If someone had hugged her in that moment, Ochako would’ve shattered and she wasn’t sure she would have been able to pick herself back again. But by sitting in quiet peace with her teacher, sipping the best hot chocolate of her life, she had regained a little of her strength and that meant more to her than any hug.

Did Aizawa know that? Did he know the power he held in his silences and non obtrusive manner? She watched as he carried all of Yamada’s shopping, listening to his husband chatter away whilst the three boys bickered away in front of them.

Maybe he didn’t, but Ochako would carry it with her every day. She wanted to thank him, to try and articulate what he had done for her, but something told her he wouldn’t like that at all. Aizawa seemed like the type of person to shy away from thanks, especially when considering his job. She would just have to find a way to tell him through her actions then, there had to be something.

By the time they got back to the house, Ochako wanted nothing more to collapse onto her bed and sleep. There was a bone aching tiredness that she couldn’t seem to outrun and now it felt like it was eating her alive. Some days were much harder than others and after her crying moment earlier, the exhaustion had latched on with a vengeance.

She helped unload the car, taking an armful of bags and dumping them just inside the house, already envisioning her new mattress and pillows. Would it be soft or hard, springy or firm? She didn’t care really, she just wanted to sleep.

“I feel like Mina.” Shinso grumbled, looking extremely uncomfortable at the amount of stuff crowding the hall.

“I don’t think even she could shop this much”. Ochako agreed, eyeing Yamada with newfound respect. It wasn’t every day she met someone who could out shop her pink friend and until today, she didn’t even think it was possible.

“It takes years of skill and dedication to reach this level.” Yamada replied smugly as he placed a few more bags down. “Now, grab your stuff and go decorate! Bakugo, this is yours and this one too- oh Todoroki this is yours! Shinso, this one is yours and what’s in here… Uraraka!”

He thrusted two bags at her before spinning around to peek into the others. Ochako blinked, caught of guard at the fact she had two bags, because she’d only picked out one item and packs of sheets definitely did not need two bags to fill.

“I had to guess your sizes so let me know if they fit!” Yamada said, handing her two more bags from his collection. “You’re gonna be even cuter when you wear these!”

“Thank you.” She managed to get out, eyes nearly bugging out of her head. She looked at the bags, names of brands staring back at her that she recognised from tv shows and her friends. Just how much did it all cost?

She tried to mentally calculate the cost in her head, but the numbers turned to mush in an instant. It didn’t matter how much it cost, she couldn’t afford even one of the items in the bags she now held.

“I’ll uh, go unpack now.”

Ochako ran up the stairs like her ass was on fire, feeling overwhelmed and her skin was itching and it just all felt like too much.

How much was she going to take from these people? Just how long would she bleed them dry for? It started with the gifts in the bags, but soon it would be all the food and time and effort they put into- into someone like her.

It was a waste, such a waste.

Ochako shuddered as she closed her new bedroom door behind her and rushed to the bed, tipping out the contents of each bag to stare at the collection of items on her bed.

The sheets of course, some jeans, a jumper, a super cute dress, some tops. Sweatpants, new sneakers, a pink fluffy blanket, perfume of all things and more.

She had never seen so much stuff for one person in her life and apparently, it was all for her. Ochako rocked back on her heels and stared, then stared some more. It just didn’t make any sense.

Four raps on her door. A quiet “Uraraka?” from the other side.

“Hey Todoroki, what’s up?”

The boy stared at her and offered a tiny smile. His hair was slightly tousled, the red and white mixing slightly. Todoroki looked younger and a little more relaxed here. At least the house was good for one of them. Ochako still wasn’t sure how to feel.

“I got this. It reminds me of you.” He said, shoving a big Kirby plushie at her.

“Huh?”

“It’s for you.” He continued, holding it out expectantly.

“It does not look like me!” She squawked, staring at the giant pink ball of cuteness. Ochako was hollow and evil and twisted, nothing like the cute video game character in front of her.

“Yes it does. Bakugo, doesn’t Uraraka look like this?”

Ochako’s shoulders sank as she was familiar blonde hair come into view. This was definitely not going to end well.

“Ha, yeah, got the same chubby cheeks and everything. Bout as damn smiley too.” The blonde agreed, smirking at her like a cat .

“See?” Todoroki nodded seriously. “And you need to look after your twin.”

Somehow, he managed to get her to hold onto the plushie, still in shock that he’d bought it for her only to make fun of her with it.

“Well, he is cute, but he doesn’t look like me!” Ochako defended, feeling her cheeks go pink with embarrassment.

“It’s more the vibe.”

Curse Kaminari and his indoctrination of slang into Todoroki.

“I- you know what? I’m gonna keep him, he’s too cute for any of you.” She huffed, playing along despite the fact she did not at all want another gift from someone she wouldn’t be able to pay back at all.

The rational part of her understood Todoroki didn’t want the money back and would probably get angry at her for even suggesting such a thing. After all, he was rich and he loved spending his father’s money on other people. But the other part of Ochako just couldn’t comprehend the kindness he was showing her.

Todoroki nodded his head and then walked off, presumably to his own room. Ochako shut her door and placed the Kirby down on her desk, unable to look at it for long. Instead, she turned her attention to putting away her new things.

It didn’t take too long, after all Yamada hadn’t gone completely crazy (like he had done with the boys, if Shinso’s repeated grumbling past her door was anything to go by as he ferried his stuff up) but it was certainly way more than she had anticipated.

There was even a new bag for crying out loud!

It was only when she got to the photo frames that she froze.

They were empty, of course but that wasn’t the issue. The issue was the fact for the whole day she had completely forgot about her parents as she selfishly went shopping for herself.

While they were puking their guts out, locked away in some rehabilitation facility who knew where, she had been sipping hot chocolate and crying over bed sheets! What kind of daughter even was she?

What a horrible person she was, so selfish, so entitled, so uncaring.

The words ran circles in her head

Selfish

Selfish

Selfish

And then if became hard to breathe. The tightness in her chest tried to choke her, smother her and she should’ve let it, she should’ve let go. But Ochako was selfish, of course she was, and so instead of letting her body choke her to death she ran for the en suite in the corner of the room.

She fumbled around wildly, looking for her razor. It had to be in there, it just had to be. She needed it because she needed to breathe and she needed the voices to just stop for a second.

Just a second.

All Ochako wanted was peace, to be free of all the emotions rioting inside of her even for an instant.

She continued to frantically look around her toiletries bag, until at last she managed to grab it, the cheap plastic grounding her a little.

Ochako didn’t hesitate to pull her sweatpants down and take a seat on the toilet, fiddling desperately until she freed one of the blades from the razor, because she needed more this time.

The first line didn’t do much, didn’t help as much as she needed but Ochako expected that. She kept going, neat little rows of red. Each one seemed to make her a little more empty, offering escape paths for everything inside of her until at last she had run dry. There was not much else inside of her except the weariness by the time she put the small blade down.

She wasn’t sure how long she stared at the cuts on her thighs. Time never really held much meaning afterwards, if stretched and contracted at will. When at last she gathered the energy to stand up, her thighs burned deliciously. She pulled up her sweatpants, hiding what she had done from everyone but herself.

It was perhaps another selfish act, one she didn’t let herself dwell on as she stumbled into her room to get changed for bed.

There were two options now, thanks to Yamada’s shopping spree. Her ratty old T-shirt and shorts, or the cute matching two piece set he had got her, one like what Mina and Momo liked to wear.

She stared at the soft pink fabric, a traitorous finger reaching out to stroke the material longingly. What would it feel like, to wear it beneath the covers without a care in the world?

Ochako wouldn’t find out, at least not then.

Instead, she grabbed her usual things, not bothering to return to the bathroom as she stripped and changed, the aching of her thighs a nice distraction from whatever else was going on.

She would just have a quick nap and wake up for dinner, just a few hours of nothing before she would put her mask back on and act like everything was fine.

The bed was heaven, even better than she expected. Ochako sank beneath the covers and allowed herself to be pulled under, drifting off peacefully and dreaming of the stars.

Here there were no worries, no work to be done of people to please, among the night sky and the soft clouds, Ochako could finally breathe.

Chapter Text

She slept through dinner and through breakfast.

It wasn’t like she meant to do it, Ochako was just so drained that even her alarms and Aizawa knocking on her door was not enough to wake her up. Despite the fact she’d spent most of the week in a bed, Ochako still felt tired. Maybe it had been the fact recovery girl could walk in at any time, or her new therapist that had kept her subconsciously on edge.

When she woke up, definitely past noon with her hair sticking up in all directions she felt blissfully empty and slightly overheated. For a moment she lay there, basking in the silence and the peace, allowing herself to forget for a moment everything about her life.

It felt like one of those spaces where time seemed to pause, waiting patiently for her to make the first move, something Ochako relished in. If she could, she would’ve stayed in bed for the rest of her life. Eventually though, he stomach growled and grumbled, forcing her to get herself ready for the day.

She pulled on the new sweat pants and a new top. It was a cute cosy outfit, one she’d seen the other girls wear around the dorms and Ochako couldn’t help but stare in the mirror for a minute. Would her parents recognise her now, in these fancy clothes and pale hollow cheeks? Maybe, maybe not.

The thought wasn’t as scary as it should’ve been, still being held at bay from the fog of last night. Ochako couldn’t bring herself to stare directly at the cuts when she got changed, the red scabs haunting her periphery as she pulled up her underwear.

Some days she couldn’t bear to look at them after she’d used the razor blade, others she would gaze at her thighs for hours, as if to relieve the experience again and again. Pain was an odd thing; once Ochako had feared it and now she craved its sting.

And to have it so close at hand with a private bathroom to call her own… it was a slippy slope to be sure.

After she finished her morning routine Ochako slipped on her slippers and headed downstairs cautiously, unsure of what to expect. Would everyone be awake and waiting for her? Would the place be empty? Would the boys be playing video games again?

To her surprise, the downstairs area was pretty quiet, with only Todoroki present and watching some show on the tv with the volume on low.

“Morning.” She said softly, coming closer to check out what her friend was watching.

“Hey. Aizawa is asleep still and we had lunch a while ago. There’s left overs in the fridge.” Todoroki said, not once peeling his eyes from the screen. Ochako leaned over his shoulder a little bit to see-

Yep, texting Deku updates as he watched, his eyes occasionally flitting down to add another thought or make a joke. From the quick responses, Ochako quickly deduced her freckled friend was watching the same show at roughly the same time too. Honestly, it was super cute, but she was too hungry and feeling a little too raw to comment on anything.

Instead she turned her attention to the kitchen and the majestic double door refrigerator which took centre stage in the room.

Lunch was take out again apparently, evident by the lack of anything else but containers and fruit pouches (of course) on the shelves. It wasn’t like Ochako minded, though she was a bit concerned. Would they be expected to buy their own food? She could probably get by if she was careful but now she was eating with her teachers she had a feeling things wouldn’t go unnoticed like they had previously.

Maybe she could play the diet card? Hopefully none of them would ask too many questions at that-

Ochako sighed and pushed the thoughts away, uncaring for once what the outcome may have been. It didn’t matter anyway, none of it did.

Ooo, they had ordered udon.

She removed some of the containers, taking a small amount from each and placing them all on one plate (Which took her way too long to find in the new kitchen). Heating the food up in the microwave, she turned and stared at the space around her.

Ochako wondered if Todoroki liked the peace without the threat of Endeavour. She wondered how Shinso felt about the open plan arrangement, and how Bakugo liked the brand new top end kitchen appliances. The space felt carefully curated to them, aiming to make them as comfortable during their stay as possible- not unlike some fancy hotel.

Did the boys like it here? Did they despise it? Ochako still felt unsure as to what she felt, maybe she always would. It was so strange, to be in a house full of things, but know they weren’t yours. She was accepted and welcomed, but it would never be permanent. Did she even want it to be permanent?

Last night had been the best nights sleep she had had in a long time. Was that to do with the bed and sheets, or was it connected to the secret on her thighs?

The microwave beeped.

Ochako removed her plate and stared for a long moment at its contents. She didn’t feel particularly hungry, but what else did she have to do besides eat? There was no homework, no test to revise for, no parents to talk with, no job to go to.

When was the last time she had nothing to do? What was she even supposed to do now that she had nothing to do? The answer was right in her hands- so she grabbed some chopsticks and sat down, slowly eating her food.

Maybe she could offer to go food shopping for everyone. That would be nice and helpful too, perhaps she could pay off some of the stuff Hizashi bought. Ochako wasn’t really buying into the whole ‘it’s for free’ thing, not really.

There was always some catch, some hidden agenda somehow.

Todoroki was still watching TV, occasionally she would catch bits and pieces of it as it drifted through the air. Time felt sluggish and suspended in the house, moving at a snails pace when usually it was a torrent forcing her forwards, every second slipping away before she could fully grasp it.

Of course even time would work differently in this strange place. It was the antithesis of her normal life and so it made sense it would crawl instead of sprint.

Where was Bakugo and Shinso?

The latter, she assumed, was still in his room or asleep. Shinso was a known insomniac and it was no secret he worked occasionally with Aizawa as underground hero practise in the evenings. By contrast, Bakugo was always up early, usually in bed by nine pm and filling the hours in between with school work and exercise with a timetable he followed to the letter.

But it was break! Surely he wasn’t still young at it. But then again, it was Bakugo…

Not that it mattered just yet. Ochako would probably start doing the same soon. She wasn’t quite ready to face her other friends yet and she was grateful none of the guys had asked her where she was for exams just yet.

Eventually, she was sure, one of them would say something, but for now it was a carefully maintained secret between her and the teachers. Ochako wanted it to stay that way as long as possible.

The only person who may also know would be Bakugo, but she knew he would never divulge someone else’s secret.

When she finished her food, Ochako washed up everything and went back to her room, unsure of what else to do. Maybe now would be a good time to come up with her own training plan?

Though, if anything, her quirk needed a break. She used hers more than any other person she knew. Work, hero practise, real hero work, the list went on. Even a week after… everything, she still didn’t feel one hundred percent and besides, she didn’t want to.

The thought popped into her head unbidden and made her pause with her hand on her bedroom door.

She didn’t want to.

And she didn’t have to.

When was the last time she’d been able to do what she wanted? When had she last been given the freedom to choose when to use her quirk or not, without people’s lives on the line?

It felt freeing, yet gave her a queasy feeling in her stomach at the same time.

Ochako sighed and opened her door, heading straight over to her bed. Maybe she could sleep a little longer and-

There was a box on her desk. Why was there a box on her desk?

It definitely had not been there before. Ochako would have remembered something like that; she kept a careful mental list of all of her possessions after all.

Maybe it was a bomb?

It probably wasn’t, they were in UA after all and it was pretty safe- but you could never really be too sure.

Ochako approached the desk with a healthy amount of fear and uncertainty. It wasn’t very tall, though it was decently wide and wrapped in brown paper with a small card laid on top with her name printed in neat letters. With a trembling hand, she opened the white card.

Dear Uraraka Ochako

Sorry it has been quite delayed, we have been swamped recently in the office. For all of the hero work you have participated in, the HSPC has paid you accordingly into your bank account. Please take this gift as a token of gratitude for the work you have undertaken for us whilst engaged in your studies. Once again, I apologise for the delay.

Best,

Suzuki Rina

Assistant to the CEO of the Hero Public Safety Commission.

Ochako’s mouth popped open in shock. Never once had she considered the fact she might be paid for missions she had been sent on, or aided other hero’s in. It felt more like her duty as a hero in training and to receive money for it almost felt… wrong.

But-

Now she had the money to buy food for everyone. Now she would be able to afford to pay back Yamada and Aizawa! Maybe she would even have enough to send money back to her parents.

Ignoring the unopened present on her desk Ochako turned and yanked on a jacket, grabbing her wallet and phone and ran a quick hand through her hair before running downstairs and quickly pulling on her trainers. She needed to go and check just how much money she now had.

Unsure if she should say anything to Todoroki (he was still watching his show) she settled with a quick text to let him know she was going out and that she would return soon.

She didn’t have either teachers number so she hoped that would be enough for them. She didn’t want to waste even a second, knowing was everything.

Whoever has said money didn’t buy happiness had clearly never been broke. Money didn’t buy happiness, but it did buy food and basic necessities. Personally, Ochako felt like most people would be happy to have a roof over their heads and three meals a day.

It wasn’t that far to the bank, so she decided to walk rather than take the bus (she could afford to take the bus now!), trying to hide her excitement as best she could.

Maybe she wouldn’t be able to get her old job back, but perhaps she could take on some more stuff for the HSPC on the side? It wasn’t like Yamada and Aizawa would say no, they were going into third year now and they had already fought in the war. There really wasn’t much else to teach.

The walk was quick, the roads mostly empty and the sky was blue with her favourite fluffy clouds floating by. It felt like a good day, for once Ochako wasn’t struggling to breathe under the weight of everything.

She paused to stare at a pretty tree covered in red flowers, the blossoms full and crowded on top of dark green leaves. It was beautiful. Reaching out her hand, Ochako touched one of the petals, stroking it softly. It felt grounding and she let out a deep breath, transfixed by the delicate ruby arrangement.

Eventually she started moving again, turning the corner to the bank. There wasn’t anyone around and no queue to make her wait, so Ochako took out her card and slotted it into the ATM. She entered her pin, tapped the check balance option and-

Oh.

She hadn’t been expecting that.

The amount was more than she could earn in three months at the cafe, a staggering amount really, a number she hadn’t even dreamed of.

And it was all hers.

Someone behind her coughed and Ochako turned to see an elderly lady, patiently waiting for her turn to use the machine. She shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts and turned back to the screen, mentally calculating the cost of everything Yamada had bought her. The total she arrived at made her feel physically ill, but now she could cover it easily and still have loads of cash left.

With trembling hands, she withdrew the money, along with enough extra cash to buy some snacks and tucked it all into her purse.

She would celebrate by getting herself some sweet treats and then she would save the rest for her family when they could finally see each other again.

It wouldn’t be for a while. Recovery girl had explained to her how they wouldn’t have access to a phone for a while during their programme. There was no way for her to get any updates until they called her. If they called her.

But she didn’t want to think about that right now, and so she went to the convenience store instead.

Mochi, chips, chocolate and strawberry milk. It was a feast for Ochako, one she couldn’t wait to delve into. For once, she felt hungry and excited, the feeling so pure and unexpected she wished she could feel it forever.

It was the type of feeling that made her want to run down the street, to laugh out loud and spin in a circle. She would go home and eat her snacks and share some with everyone else. Then she would pay her teachers back and all would be well once more.

She skipped back to UA and entered the house with a bright “I’m back!”.

The place was empty, but Ochako didn’t mind. She grabbed a cup from the kitchen as well as a bowl for the chips and scuttled up the stairs, ready to just be.

Pushing open the door was a little harder than she anticipated, but after a few seconds of awkward hand movements she was able to push it away and she dumped everything on her bed, stepping back proudly to see her haul. It was the prettiest thing she had ever seen, and she saw the girls in 1-A every day in school!

Ochako pulled off her jacket and was about to clamber in to bed when once more she caught sight of the package. The brown parcel paper seemed so at odds with her room and it was just sitting there, looking at her impatiently.

Well, she thought it would if it had eyes. What on earth would the HPSC even get her anyway?

She pulled at the seams of the neatly wrapped package and gently pulled out a laptop box. One of the new fancy ones fresh out of a shop, brand new too.

She had never held anything so expensive in her life. And it was now hers.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.” Ochako clutched the box to her chest. This couldn’t be real, it didn’t make any sense. She didn’t deserve something like this!

But she couldn’t return it either and be seen as ungrateful. And besides, she really wanted to keep it too.

She eyed the door, half sure someone would come bursting through to tell her it was all some sort of mistake, but nothing happened.

Ochako opened the box to discover a sleek rose gold laptop staring up at her, not a scratch or blemish in sight. It was real and it was for her.

The gift didn’t erase everything she had seen and everything that she had been through. It didn’t heal her scars and wash away the bruises, it didn’t wipe away the memories of the dying and the dead. But Ochako had to admit, it felt nice to be appreciated, to be seen for her work and for once rewarded.

She opened the lid breathlessly, watching the laptop turn on with bright eyes. There was another small note tucked in between the lid and the keyboard- passwords and usernames to streaming services from Yamada and Aizawa, apparently a small gift from them for her hero work that year.

Ochako felt a little bad as she typed in the passwords a while later, having set up her laptop as much as she could be bothered to do. She felt selfish and a little entitled as she made herself an account, but she was such a selfish person, and it really seemed like they wanted her to have it.

The day felt too good to waste with her stupid thoughts and feelings, so she simply shoved the negative ones away and opened up the bag of chips, dumping them into the bowl beside her.

She scrolled aimlessly for a few minutes until she found a popular series Mina wouldn’t stop talking about and decided to give it a try. The into music was upbeat and looked funny enough.

Ochako settled into her bed with her brand new laptop on her lap and her snacks by her side. She allowed herself to switch off and just focus on the show, drifting along aimlessly by the plot.

There in the confines of the room she didn’t have to laugh or share or talk, she could just simply be. Maybe that was the best part of it all.

Chapter Text

Ochako wasn’t sure how long she spent watching TV, but by the time someone knocked on the door most of her snacks had gone, she’s made it through seven episodes and the sky was dark outside.

She really, really didn’t want to move, but she was also aware she couldn’t just ignore the person on the other side, so she heaved herself out of bed and shuffled over.

“Oh. Uraraka, I didn’t realise you picked this room.” Aizawa said, blinking at her a few times. “We’re deciding what to do for dinner downstairs.”

“Thank you sen- I mean Aizawa, I’ll be down in a minute!” Ochako turned bright red at the slip up, but it was kind of confusing when she had been told not to call her teachers sensei out of class.

He simply nodded and then shuffled down to the next door, repeating his process. Ochako shut the door and looked down at her outfit, determining it was nice enough to be seen in. She put on her slippers and headed downstairs to see she was the third person to arrive.

Yamada and Bakugo sat in the living space, the two blondes sitting as far away from one another as physically possible. Luckily there was some music playing in the background, creating a more relaxing atmosphere than a tense one.

“Hey guys.” Ochako said, moving to sit at the other end of the couch from Bakugo, closer to Yamada who sat on the two seater on the right. “How was everyone’s day?”

“It was whatever.” Bakugo muttered, giving no further information on how he spent his time. At least he bothered to reply this time, some days back in the dorms he would just grunt or stare her down until she left his presence.

“It was super productive!” Yamada said happily, stretching out the ‘super’ dramatically. “We had a huge increase in listeners today on the show!”

“That’s awesome!” Ochako replied, grinning at her teacher. He was so cheerful and energetic, she sometimes forgot he was a a hero and radio host on the side with teaching. He certainly never looked as worn out as Aizawa did.

“I’m planning a few hero interviews for next week. Hopefully I can get Hawks and Mt. Lady. I asked Aizawa but he said no.” Yamada pouted, although he was well aware due to his husband’s role as an underground hero it wouldn’t be possible.

Some news about Aizawa had slipped out after the war of course. He was the homeroom teacher of the legendary class 1-A after all , so there were bound to be a few articles out there on him. He probably didn’t want to attract anymore notoriety.

“The sports festival was enough.”

“Aww Sho, stop being such a baby.” Yamada pouted as his husband sat down next to him, trailed by Todoroki and Shinso, who both sat in between Ochako and Bakugo. “You have so many fans!”

“Modoryia said they have merchandise with you on now.” Todoroki added, which only made Aizawa groan. “He has the poster and the bobble head.”

Ochako glanced to the side. The poster she knew about, but the bobble head? The gleam in her friend’s eye told her all she needed to know. So his teasing wasn’t just for his classmates. Every day, Todoroki became more of a menace and honestly? She was proud.

“I’m going to give those bastards a piece of my mind.” Aizawa mumbled. Ochako assumed he meant Hawks, who had decided to put himself in charge of hero promotion and merchandise after the war. It was something low effort yet still fun enough to keep the winged hero occupied apparently.

Everything had become super centralised whilst the HPSC used funds from the fans to help rebuilding what had been destroyed, but rumours had been going round (namely from Deku and Mina) that soon heroes would once again have agency over that sort of thing.

It was crazy, how much the war had impacted things even now.

Ochako wondered if it would ever stop having an impact on her life. From the looks of things, probably never.

The war was as much a part of her as she was of it, the two were intertwined and she would probably just have to accept that part of her and move on. Probably. Ochako was still holding out for a Time Machine or a way to forget sometimes.

“Anyway.” Yamada interrupted. “We were going to do take out again, but a certain someone-“

He looked at Bakugo, who snarled back in return.

“- wants to cook something ‘healthy’ and ‘not completely shitty’ instead. But we have no ingredients so we would need to go food shopping.”

“I don’t mind.” Ochako said immediately. “Both sounds fine to me.”

In an ideal world, she would have gone for the take away option. But to stand against Bakugo with that decision? To potentially risk upsetting the others because she was feeling too selfish? She couldn’t do it.

Ochako stretched her cheeks up, slapping on a cute non plussed grin at her teachers.

“Todoroki, Shinso, any thoughts?”

“I don’t care.”

Todoroki shrugged slightly to convey his lack of feeling towards the situation.

“I guess groceries it is.” Yamada sighed. “I’ll get the car and-“

“I’ll do it.” Bakugo interrupted. “Just gimme a list of the shit you want.”

“You can’t carry enough food for six people by yourself brat.” Aizawa glared at one of his main problem children. Watching the two of them was like watching two street cats square up to each other.

“I can go too.” Ochako offered, wincing a little as all eyes turned to fall on her. It wasn’t like she was desperate to leave the house after bed rotting all day, but she couldn’t stand the arguing. The quicker it was sorted the quicker she could go back to her nice, comfy bed.

“Someone needs to stop Bakugo from buying all the healthy stuff.” Shinso added.

“Okay.”

Yamada blinked at them, clearly a little shocked they had all volunteered so easily. “Well okay then! Let me get you guys some money and write a list! Feel free to get whatever you guys want!”

If they were going to give money for the food, Ochako wouldn’t have the chance to pay them back. She resolved to find another ATM to take out some cash on the way to the supermarket. Maybe she could slip it under their door or something with a note? That seemed like the best thing to do.

It probably wouldn’t cover everything, but it was definitely a start.

She needed to help out anyway she could. After all, she’d just been given the luxury of lying in bed all day, without a worry or care for the first time in forever. She owed Yamada and Aizawa for taking her in.

Oh.

Was it okay for her to think those things? To be happy she wasn’t at home with the people she loved most because it was so much harder to be there? Was Ochako allowed to pick the easier route for once in her life?

The guilt came and went, eddying and swirling the currents of the ocean. She could feel them roiling in her stomach, churning her insides with a slimy bitterness. It was always there, lingering. Sometimes it was a calm lapping at her and others is smashed against Ochako’s soul like the waves of a storm, crashing down at impossible heights and destroying all her defences.

It could be so, so hard sometimes, not to give into the guilt.

“-chako?”

“Cheeks, get a fucking move on!”

She flinched, suddenly coming back into awareness. Bakugo was standing in front of her, looming with his arms crossed in his ‘pissed off dad stance.’

“Sorry! Got lost in thought.” She giggled.

Red eyes narrowed at her, like he didn’t believe her for a second.

“I just need to get a jumper real quick.” Ochako jumped up, already cracking under the pressure of the blonde’s laser like star. Thankfully the others didn’t seem to notice- or care all that much- so she successfully made her quick escape. Once in her room, she didn’t really think as she chucked her jacket on form that morning.

Neither Yamada or Aizawa had said anything about leaving the premises to her, so Ochako saw that as a sign to continue to do so, which was lucky. She would go stir crazy if they were limited to UA grounds.

Plus, she would have to face her other friends at some point. Her phone had blown up with missed calls from her friends. She had never seen so many missed calls from so many people, and all for her.

Ochako wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

She didn’t linger too long, well acquainted with Bakugo’s short temper. The boys were all standing by the door when she went down the stairs, Bakugo also carrying some reusable bags.

Once again, she was struck by the strange group they made. What would people from school say if they saw them together?

Mina would probably wonder why they were acting like a budget comedy tv cast.

“Oi cheeks, stop cackling to yourself and hurry the hell up. I want to eat before tomorrow.”

“Aww c’mon Bakugo, I took like thirty seconds, max.”

“He’s worried they won’t have all the spices there. Bakugo will die if he doesn’t get his cumin.”

“The fuck do you know about spices icy hot?” Bakugo snapped, instantly switching from Ochako to Todoroki. “And it’s pronounced cumin shit head.”

“See? It’s already getting to him.” Todoroki responded, unperturbed by the angry blonde in his face.

Thankfully Ochako had her shoes on by this point.

“Can you guys shut up? I’m getting a headache.”

“Shut up eye bags.”

“Do you want some water?”

“Lol.”

Three heads snapped in Todoroki’s direction.

“Did you just… say lol?” Shinso questioned, still in disbelief.

“It’s slang for laugh out loud.” Todoroki explained, his dead fish stare stronger than ever.

“He’s messing with you. Nice one Roki.”

“Can we just fucking go already?”

“Sorry dad.” Ochako groaned, though she was secretly pleased. It was a little crowded with the boys all there too.

“Look at our babies, all grown up.” Yamada said, wiping a fake tear away from his eye.

“Who the hell are you calling babies?”

“Well, not Todoroki. He’s more toddler sized now.”

Ochako’s eyes widened. Everyone knew that Bakugo, whilst nearing six feet now, was still a tiny bit shorter than Todoroki and that fact drove him insane.

“Okay, time to go!! See you later!” She yelled and practically pushed the blonde out of the door before he did anything stupid- like try to fight their teacher/ temporary guardian.

“Phew.”

The four of them were now walking down the path to the front gate, Bakugo still seething at the front.

“It’s okay man, height isn’t everything.” Shinso said dryly. “I mean, look at Uraraka.”

“Hey! Don’t bring me into this!”

Height was kind of a sore subject for her, because Ochako had always accepted she was short- but to have Mineta catching up to her, with Tsu already an inch taller?

It was just unfair.

(Maybe she would’ve grown taller if she had actually eaten properly. Maybe if she hadn’t skipped her meals or eaten better food-

It didn’t matter though.

Nothing mattered in the end really.)

“Don’t compare me to her spacy ass.”

“Bakugo, you seem oddly obsessed with ass recently. Is there something you want to share?”

“I’ll-“ he stopped himself and seemed to mutter something under his breath. Finally he had caught onto the fact Todoroki was rage baiting him and like the sucker he was, he had fallen for it almost every time.

Ochako was kind of impressed at how often Todoroki got away with it.

“Tch.”

“Damn Roki, you’re losing your touch.”

“Too much time with Denki is frying your brain.” Ochako added, giggling at her own joke.

It was surprisingly nice, to walk with the boys to the shops and not have to constantly think about things. It was like turning her brain off for the first time in years.

The little things made all the difference.

It was in the way Bakugo would glance back occasionally to check on everyone, in the way Shinso was always so cautious about her personal space and always, always respected a boundary. It was in the way Todoroki would make dry jokes to get uncomfortable attention away from her.

They were such good people. Ochako knew they would make wonderful heroes one day. Her whole class would.

The supermarket was chaos.

Bakugo took charge, acting more like a military general than a seventeen year old in charge of the groceries list. Ochako had no doubt he would be an ingredient mom one day, the way he was physically recoiling from the ultra processed goods Todoroki was putting in the kart- it was getting to a point where even Ochako couldn’t tell if he was joking or dead serious.

“-but Yamada said we could get whatever we want.”

“That doesn’t mean two tonnes of sugar!”

“Yeah, fun and sugar are bad for you, didn’t you know?”

“You- shut the hell up! The only thing you’ve contributed is fucking energy drinks!”

Shinso just blinked slowly in a ‘duh’ way. “Y’know Bakaboo, I think you just made that baby cry.”

Bakugo pinched his nose and counted down from ten. “You two, go get the fucking juice.”

Ochako was proud he didn’t blow up, but that was probably due to the baby comment. He was doing well all things considered.

“What should I get next?”

“Tch. I’ll show ya. Don’t need you grabbing the wrong thing again.”

“That happened one time like three months ago!” Ochako protested, but followed him anyway.

There was a distinct difference between a calm bickering Bakugo and Bakugo ready to explode. More often or not in the past few months Ochako always got the former.

She liked the way he had softened after a while, even after the war. It was the same for Shinso and Todoroki too. They had all found their homes within the class of 1-A and Ochako couldn’t have been happier for them. These guys, aspiring heroes with dreams of helping others had become so much more than annoying middle schoolers.

They were funny and kind and compassionate and cool. Ochako wondered when it would be her turn to gain such a transformation. Would she ever reach the same heights as them?

It would be nice, to have Bakugo’s passion and strength, Todoroki’s stoicism, Shinso’s adaptability. They were her age and they were even living in the same house, but at times they all felt so out of reach. Even in the small things like grocery shopping.

They passed more candy and she watched Bakugo’s eyes drop for a second, landing on the new All Might limited edition chocolate pops, before moving along. It was so brief, she would’ve missed it with anyone else. But Bakugo’s movements were always so intentional, so smooth, the small jerk would’ve been noticeable to anyone who knew him.

She didn’t think as she reached down and scooped one up, managing to hide is safely in the cart when she grabbed the correct tofu Bakugo wanted.

Even he deserved a sweet treat every once in a while.

Plus, Ochako was very much aware of the fact Bakugo liked to collect All Might memorabilia, though he was much more secretive about it than Deku was.

Her poor friend had accidentally spilled the secret to her in one of his Kacchan rambles and she had never forgotten it, storing away that piece of information in case she ever needed black mail material.

That had been before everything. Before her life had fallen apart.

A few moments later the other two shuffled back, talking about apple juice versus orange juice and their own thoughts and feelings. It didn’t take much longer before Bakugo was annoyed again and the process repeated several more times until they got to the cool deserts part aisle.

Ochako stopped accidentally in front of the mochi shelf, staring with wide eyes at all the flavours and sizes available. She never really allowed herself to look before, but now it was impossible for her to look away.

“Stop drooling and choose one already.”

She jumped. Ochako hadn’t felt Bakugo move behind her and he was super close! Close enough to make the back of her neck feel all warm and prickly.

“Nah I’m happy to just look! We have too much food already.”

“Yeah cause of those fuckers.”

Of course she laughed at that. How could she not?

“Alright love birds, pack it in.”

And suddenly the moment fell to pieces, shattered in an instant by Shinso throwing the rock at them.

“Say that again and I’ll smash your skull in.” Bakugo hissed, suddenly two feet away and squaring up to the lilac haired boy. Ochako felt it was a little bit of an overreaction over such a small comment, but it was probably the last straw that caused him to break.

“Guys be nice.” She begged, looking at Todoroki for help- who was conveniently trying to work out the differences between two bags of peas.

“The shop closes soon. We should probably pay.”

Maybe Todoroki felt her gaze on him after all, because it got the other two away from each other at least.

Ochako made a move to follow them before coming up short. She needed to get the money out, how could she forget?

“Uh guy? I need to… go to the bathroom real quick. I’ll meet you when I’m done!”

“Tch whatever.”

“Try not to get lost.”

Todoroki just nodded at her in his typical ice prince nonchalant way and she scurried away without a backward glance.

Thankfully the grocery store had an atm right outside it, so she would be like, five minutes max.

She stepped out into the cool night air, the barest traces of sunset lingering on the horizon. It was peaceful and private and no one was around so she could go straight for the machine. Ochako didn’t have time to contemplate sunrises or how the sky looked just then. She had to focus.

Bank card in. Enter pin. Select amount. Wait for the cash to come out and take her card.

It was easy and efficient.

Luckily she had left her purse in her pocket and she was good enough with numbers to take a rough stab at the amount for the groceries. She wanted to pay it forward to her teachers, to thank them for all they had done beyond simply paying them back for the items they had bought her.

Covering groceries seemed like the obvious solution.

Ochako pocketed the money, feeling light and airy. Maybe she wasn’t so selfish after all, there was some good in her yet.

“Uraraka!”

And just like that, her day was ruined.

It was funny how just a sound can affect someone’s emotions so much. Hagiwara’s voice was no exception. It crawled down her spine and clung to her skin like some sort of glue. She was back in that motel again and his hands were on her hips as he-

“It’s been a while, I thought you were avoiding me, but I talked to your boss. Fuckin’ sucks about your school huh.”

Slowly, she turned to face the man and his cronies. He looked the same as ever, an exact copy of how he had looked in the cafe, from his outfit to his hair.

Nothing had changed.

Nothing would change.

The realisation was a heavy one.

Even now, Hagiwara continued to haunt her, just like her parents, like every single person she had failed to save.

“Yeah, it’s been kinda hectic.” She giggled. “I should go-“

“Not even gonna chat with your favourite customer? I couldn’t even text you know, since I don’t have your number or anything.”

“Oh…” she squeaked, because what else was there to say?

“So, you gonna give me your phone or what?” One of the men behind him took a small step forward.

Ochako was a trainee hero. If she wanted to, she could take out these guys in an instant. She had fought in a freaking war, against some of the worst villains Japan had ever seen! She had taken down Toga! Ochako was strong and fierce, she had battle scars and arrests under name.

But she was also just a teenage girl.

She didn’t even consider using her quirk to get away, or to try and head back inside to the boys. Instead, she froze, a deer in headlights, before slowly pulling out her phone and handing it to her.

“This is your phone?”

Red bloomed on her cheeks as Hagiwara inspected the battered piece of plastic.

“I’ll get you a new one.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I’m getting you a new one.”

Was it her imagination, or did he sound harsher than before? Gone were the nicknames form the coffee shop and the sly grin as he handed her flowers.

Maybe he was annoyed about her disappearing. Yeah, that was probably it.

“Thanks.” She whispered, twisting the sleeve of her jacket anxiously. Ochako wanted to disappear, she wanted the world to eat her, the sky to swallow her, anything except remain where she was. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you I was leaving.”

He seemed to soften a little at her apology.

“Coffee doesn’t taste the same now you don’t make it angel face.”

Ochako pulled her lips upwards, comforting them into shape.

Hagiwara handed back her phone. Silence.

“W-well, I should probably get going haha I’m helping with the groceries. I’ll see you later!” She said, pulling her cheeks even higher and even doing a little wave before turning to head back into the store.

It was over. She was done.

“See ya around angel.”

And then she felt him slap her butt.

It almost didn’t seem real, because it was so fast and over so soon. But the snickers from his men were real, so was the humiliation she felt searing through her.

But she couldn’t turn around and beat them up. She could arrest them and leave them to rot in jail, and so she didn’t. She kept on walking, throwing a cute ‘see you!’ Over shoulder and tried to act as naturally as she could as she left them in the night.

“Nice to see you finally made it back.” Shinso said to her as soon as she found them again. Bakugo had just finished paying and so she swooped in and grabbed a few bags, not really listening.

He had touched her. In public. He had slapped her butt and- they had laughed as if it was funny, like it was some sort of stupid joke. It was like she was an object, his possession to do with as he pleased. He probably wouldn’t disagree, if he said that out loud.

She felt hot all over and covered in germs, far worse than what she had experienced before. Usually, she had time to hide away in her mind, to not really be aware when Hagiwara touched her. Today had offered no such luxuries.

It was burned into her retinas. She couldn’t escape it. It wasn’t just a one off incident, it was laced with something far more potent. Ochako was forced to stare at her past with a clarity she’d never had before, and she hated it- almost as much as she hated herself.

Ochako was aware she must have replied to Shinso, because he said something else and then Todoroki jumped in. She knew she had to have been part of the conversation, because she could feel her mouth moving and her cheeks pulling, but she had no clue what she said.

Just a marionette being pulled by her strings, devoid of life.

Her fragile happiness had been broken in an instant, trampled into the ground by Hagiwara and his men. Ochako wasn’t sure she would ever get it back, if there was even any point.

Maybe, it was her fate. Her karma. Her destiny. As inescapable as time itself.

There would be no happy ending for Ochako Uraraka.

She wasn’t sure if any of them noticed anything, or whether they even cared. She hoped they didn’t.

Ochako wasn’t worth their care.

Somehow, that made it back to UA. She wasn’t quite sure how. One moment she was outside under a moonless sky and the next she was in the warm glow of the kitchen, helping to put away the groceries with Bakugo.

Udon.

Chicken.

Red chilli powder.

Milk.

Fruit pouches.

The blonde said something about wanting to cook by himself. She agreed and sat at the table.

Dinner was a complete blur.

His hands on her-

Touching her breasts-

Tongue licking her throat-

Trailing down, down, down-

Not enough money-

Her parents telling her to leave-

Her dads face-

Her moms sobs-

His hand on her ass-

His fingers in her-

Ochako was put in charge of dish duty. She washed everything up carefully, her mind still far away. She didn’t stay to watch tv or read with Yamada and Aizawa, she didn’t even slip the money under their door (it was too busy, someone would notice, they always seemed to notice. But not her. Ochako was too good at pretending for anyone to notice her.)

Instead she went to her room. She showered and changed, not bothering to move the stuff on her bed from earlier as she lay on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. The world seemed so much more dull now.

She wished she was a star.

Time marched on. Her curtains needed to be drawn. They didn’t open. She had an air conditioner instead. There would be no hanging in the sky.

Like every night since her parents left her, Ochako checked her phone for a message. A silly ritual, but one she focused on with her last vestiges of optimism and hope. They would call her and then she would speak to them again, ask them why they did it.

One new message.

“Hey angel, it’s Hagiwara. It’s been so long since we had a proper chat, don’t ya think? Let’s meet up soon. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Ochako’s body shook, but she didn’t cry. She didn’t do anything. What could she do? Her own actions had led her there, her own choices had cemented this harsh reality. Everything she did was wrong and would always be wrong, would always lead to those moments.

She wished she was in the sky.

More than anything, Ochako wished she would just hurry up and die.

Chapter Text

The next few days were a blur.

It was like her mind was a record player, stuck on the same song, unending and painful to hear.

Hagiwara had left another voice message- a date and time. A location and the threat to ‘be there or else’. Maybe, she would’ve gotten over it, if it hadn’t been for that last little reminder.

His hands haunted her dreams, while her parents faces watched her silently during the day.

It was too much.

It was all just too much.

Her brain had given up, as if it couldn’t hold the weight of any more sadness. It couldn’t comprehend that Hagiwara was back and that she would never truly be able to move on. There was only one escape, only one way to stop the darkness.

The first day, she had tried her old trick, but the army of red lines did nothing much against the torrent. Her flimsy dams were destroyed at every turn by her own brain. It was maddening and demoralising and all too much.

And so she turned to what she knew best, slowly disconnecting herself from the world around her in hopes to outrun the hauntings.

Ochako spent a lot of time floating.

She would wait till everyone else had left or were preoccupied and creep down the stairs, before stealing out of the door like a whisper. She ate lunch and dinner with the others, laughing and smiling, nodding and poking fun whenever it was her queue. Ochako had always been good at food times.

It was so easy to follow the patterns, to learn the script by heart. ‘How were you’s and ‘what did you do today’s were predictable and easy to lie to. They weren’t often about the answer, more about the fact someone has bothered to ask in the first place. Some questions were meant to gratify the askers own sense of self then genuinely enquire into someone else.

Not for Ochako though. She asked the questions before they could be turned against her in turn. So she queried and she laughed and she avoided like she had learnt to do all those months ago.

Shinso was going to learn roller skating. Todoroki met up with Deku again, walking around the city of visiting parks. Bakugo, of course, trained. Yamada was preoccupied with his radio show and the incoming class of heroes, whilst Aizawa slowly recovered from the previous term and returned to semi- normal human functioning.

And Ochako floated.

It was nice, in the sky.

With no one on campus due to the break, she didn’t bother to hide much as she allowed the wind to push her gently over the top of the forest. Up there, nothing seemed to matter.

It was the ground that held everything painful in her life. She hated it.

If Ochako was braver, she would’ve tried to kill herself again. No one was around to save her this time, no one would even notice for a few hours and by then she was sure to be dead. But she was too scared of what Hagiwara would do.

Would he show up to UA and expose her to everyone for what she had done? Would he find her parents and reveal the ugly truths hidden deep inside?

It wasn’t worth it.

So she existed, and hoped it would some day end- and hopefully that it would come soon.

There were four days until the meet up with Hagiwara. Two had already passed. The hours seemed to blur by, but the days dragged on, reluctantly edging forward like some sort of sick anticipation. Ochako wasn’t exactly sure why time hated her, but it was pretty evident from its current contortion.

That day spent watching TV on her laptop felt like a dream, one she hadn’t been able to bother with since. She still hadn’t yet mustered up the energy to give Yamada and Aizawa the money, something that continuously gnawed at her mind.

Mornings were the worst.

In the vulnerability of having just woken up, Ochako had no defences to protect her from the vicious onslaught of memories and people, attacking at her from all angles in bed.

It was also when her resolve was the weakest, when she wanted nothing more than to slit her wrists to make it all stop. And sometimes, she almost did it too.

Despite the hours she spent floating, despite drifting away in her mind, she could never outrun everything. Those dark thoughts became larger, slowly engulfing her entire being until she was sure all people could see was some monstrous version of herself.

It was too much. This time, she had nothing left to fight for and nothing left to give.

On the morning of the third day, Ochako decided to write some letters.

Written out on the UA paper given to her, along with a UA branded pen, it felt almost ironic that she wrote them on UA grounds. A constant reminder, yet another thing she could never escape. They lay neatly on her desk, a whole host of folded white paper with names neatly inscribed on the outside. Ochako didn’t have envelopes. Were they essential to writing suicide notes?

She wasn’t sure, she’d only seen the stylised ones in the movies.

At first, she’d only written one. A brief explanation, an apology and then…. Nothing. It would be good enough for Yamada and Aizawa maybe, but she couldn’t imagine her friends or her parents reading the same thing.

So she started again.

They deserved better. If Ochako was going to leave, they deserved a better reason why. It was the last thing she could do for them before she went away.

Slowly the letters had formed a small pile. One to her parents, to Yamada and Aizawa, to Deku and Mina, Tsu, Iida, Todoroki, Shinso and Bakugo. One for her class as a whole. The last bit of paper contained what she wanted to happen to all of her stuff, because she’d heard before about will’s and it seemed like the right thing to do.

It was a very short letter, Ochako didn’t own many things.

Writing everything out had given her a sense of peace and also clarity on the situation. Ochako knew what she needed to do and so she planned.

It was scarily easy, how she knew exactly when to do and how to do it. Like some part of her had known all along and was just waiting for her to accept the inevitable. Five days from then, after she met with Hagiwara for the last time, she would do it. She would end it all.

After that, Ochako was happier than she had been in days. There was something so comforting about knowing it would all be temporary.

When Todoroki asked her to play games with him, she agreed wholeheartedly, laughing and jostling his shoulder like she used to do.

There was only one thing she had to do and after that, Ochako was free. Without her around, surely her parents would recover, free from the stress of having a terrible daughter. Her friends didn’t need a dead weight like her around and so would progress to new heights. Aizawa would no longer have to worry about someone like her.

She wouldn’t see her parents again, or any of her other friends outside of the three boys who currently lived with her. She wished she could’ve said goodbye to their faces, but she just couldn’t hang on any longer. There was nowhere safe to rest on the cliff of her life, and there were no more hand holds to reach. It was time she surrendered herself to the elements, it was time for her to return to the sky.

Ochako sat in her room after dinner, staring at the ceiling. It was perfectly smooth, not a crack or stain in sight. Kirby sat beside her, a sentinel to protect her from the bad dreams. It reminded her of the one she had at home.

Home. A place she would now never return to.

What would her parents do with her room? Would they even be able to keep the house?

That was a morose thought. If they were in rehab, then who paid for the bills that were no doubt accumulating. Was she supposed to be paying them? Would it even matter?

Ochako felt a small bubble of resentment rise. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair and she finally, finally allowed herself to see that, if only for a few moments.

Why did she have to do everything? Why was it that others relied on her so freely, yet she couldn’t expect the same in return. Weren’t parents supposed to protect their kids? Weren’t they supposed to feed them and let them live their own lives?

Most people’s parents didn’t seem to haemorrhage money. Most people’s parents didn’t encourage their kids to work part time to help keep the family afloat. Ochako couldn’t name a single other student at UA who’d been forced to work part time just to be able to pay the school fees. Why couldn’t her parents have just sold the stupid contraction company and gotten regular, steady jobs instead?

And when she thought of those things, she hated her parents more than anything else she’d seen or done of gone through. Because, if she hadn’t had to work, there would be no Hagiwara. There would be no marks on her legs or weight in her chest.

Was it even fair of her to think these things?

Probably not. She was horrible and her parents were good people, just because they had made mistakes didn’t give her the right to demonise them. Their love had been the deciding factor between her battle with Toga after all.

Toga.

She wondered how the blonde girl was doing, locked away in Tartarus with the other survivors of the LoV. What would life have been like for her if she’d received her parent’s affection and care?

Toga didn’t start off evil and even when they fought, Ochako had caught glimpses of the girl she could’ve been. Toga had protected her friends as fiercely as she could, had loved them as hard as she was able, just like Ochako.

And yet one was branded a hero, and one a villain.

Ochako rarely thought about Toga, because when she did the memories and feelings came in a tangled lump, impossible to decode or sort out. As the months stretched on from the war the knots only seemed to worsen, as Ochako’s conviction in herself began to crumble.

Was Toga so bad for following her dream? For having something to believe in? Her dreams had hurt people, had levelled cities and destroyed families. Ochako understood why she would be demonised.

And yet…

Sometimes Ochako found it hard not to separate the hyper high schooler with the deranged killer.

In another life, maybe they would’ve been friends.

Ochako hoped that in her next life, that would come true. In her next life, she would be better.

Her parents wouldn’t leave and there would be no war to fight. She would live a normal life and she would befriend Toga and all her other friends and live a perfectly mundane existence where Ochako wouldn’t ruin people’s lives.

Maybe she would study physics and train to be an astronaut. Maybe she would walk dogs on the weekends and eat ice cream with her friends. She wouldn’t worry so much about money and the cost of living and whether she deserved to eat.

She wanted it all so much her bones ached.

But she was still trapped in the same terrible existence, chained to the weight of expectation and responsibility. Only four more days. Ochako could handle a measly four days. One last night with Hagiwara and then she could leave forever, she could free herself from chains that were holding her on the ground.

Lunch had come and gone, with Ochako creeping back into the house to maintain her role as the chattiest of the teenagers. Whenever Yamada asked a weird question, or Todoroki and Shinso were just not feeling up to answering, she stepped in with ease.

Bakugo ate on his own, maintaining his strict training schedule with ease and stating that “they were always late to the table, so they should just deal.”

Aizawa was asleep from the night shift.

It was strange, how quickly something could become normal.

After lunch Ochako headed upstairs, intent on staring at her ceiling for a while before leaving again to float. It was a solid plan, one she had successfully followed every other day.

But apparently an angry blonde had other plans, because half way up the stairs she caught sight of Bakugo looming at the top with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

“How long does it take to eat lunch?” He snapped.

“Uh, sorry?” Was all Ochako could think to stay, frozen in shock with her left foot bent on the step above. What had she done this time?

“Get your ass into training shit. You’re coming with me.”

Ochako gulped, scared by the gleam in his eye. She knew Bakugo trained with Deku and Kirishima, he’d grunted it often enough across the dinner table, but she never really considered he would want to spar with her again.

It had come out of nowhere. Why her? Why now? There were better people for Bakugo to train with- Todoroki or Shinso were right there. More in shape, more mentally stable, much better fighting partners.

And yet…

It had been so long since the two of them had sparred, she realised as she shuffled into her room and reluctantly donned the new sports bra and leggings Yamada had bought her. She missed sparring with him, even if Bakugo was a masochisitic crazy person who seemed to enjoy others suffering. It was strange, because until he’d asked, Ochako hadn’t felt herself missing it at all and now it was slamming into her like a bullet train.

She only had four days left, so she may as well enjoy them.

Ochako had loved to spar, once upon a time.

Pulling on a work out top, she took a moment to stare at herself in the mirror. She had to tie her hair up and there wasn’t much she could do about her sunken eyes or gaunt face, but it would do. You didn’t need to look good to win after all. Looks meant nothing if you weren’t the one standing victorious.

At least that was something.

“Tch. Took you long enough.” Bakugo announced as soon as she opened her door. He was lazily scrolling on his phone, leaning casually back on his door, more a relaxed predator than a boy. He looked more man than teenager recently and Ochako had to admit, it was a good look on him.

It would be sad, not to see her friends all grown up. There were many things she would be sad to leave, but it was just too much. Ochako was done carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, she just wanted to float.

“You know if you told me earlier we could’ve already left.” She grumbled.

“And given you more time to weasel your way out? Hell no. Suck it up cheeks, ‘cause I’ve been waiting to beat your ass for a long time.”

Bakugo flashed her a feral grin, his eyes alight with the prospect of a fight.

She would regret it later, with her aches and bruises, but Ochako felt a familiar stirring of competitiveness. It felt childish and stupid and yet… it felt nice, to bicker with Bakugo and get excited over a fight. She was actually excited. It reminded her of simpler times, when all she had to worry about was getting stronger and not falling asleep during my history.

“Bring it on blasty, I’ll have you down in less than two minutes!”

“Bold last words cheeks.”

Five minutes later, they were at an outdoor training area.

“Alright, let’s go.” Bakugo said immediately, swinging himself into his favoured fighting pose.

“Not so fast blasty, we need to stretch.”

“I don’t need to fucking stretch. I did that this morning.”

“Okay will I didn’t, so be quiet and wait.”

Bakugo muttered something unintelligible under his breath, but waited for Ochako to complete her stretching routine. She was way more flexible than she had been before the war, before Ochako had learnt the importance of being able to literally bend over backwards to save someone’s life. Now, she could even do the splits.

Bakugo didn’t look impressed when she pulled that move out, but she bet he was secretly jealous.

It was a pretty cool skill to have regardless.

“You done? Thank fuck.”

“Wow, you want to fight me that bad huh? Are you obsessed with me or something?” Ochako giggled at the face he pulled, something that made him look like a constipated fish.

“Shut the hell up and get ready.”

One moment they were facing each other and trading jibes, the next, it was fists.

Bakugo always fought with everything he had, and after the war every move had a new edge. He moved like a panther or a tiger, every motion fast and fluid, almost too quick to keep track of as he attacked relentlessly.

Too bad Ochako had also been in that war and had learnt to sharpen herself till her edge was as sharp as a knife too.

If Bakugo was was a tiger, then she was a lion. The two of them fought less like heroes and more like feral animals, Ochako blocking Bakugo’s jabs, him barely protecting his side from her side kick.

It was freeing, to fight without constraint or risk. There was no one to critique them, no one to protect or building to avoid. It was just them and their fists.

Bakugo got the first hit, a painful blow to her rib cage that she hadn’t managed to block quite in time.

The blonde started to smile, triumphant at having landed the first proper punch when suddenly Ochako kicked his legs out from under him and he landed painfully on the ground.

Then she was on top of him, trying to claw at his face, legs locked around his waist. He flipped her over easily and she kneed him in the groin.

They rolled around for what felt like hours, punching and kicking and scratching.

Bakugo headbutted her in the nose. Ochako left four claw marks down his right arm, he stomped on her left hand so hard she swore it become one with the ground. Ochako landed a particularly painful kick to his kidneys which had Bakugo nearly doubled over in pain.

And they still didn’t stop.

With anyone else, time out would’ve been called hours ago. No one was willing to push to the same heights Bakugo would, except Ochako. She didn’t care about a bloody nose or broken bones, not when everything in her was screaming to win.

It was raw and brutal and a little feral, and Ochako relished it.

Every punch was another drop of catharsis, a way to expel her rage and guilt and sadness without ever having to utter a word. Bakugo didn’t care, he didn’t ask needling questions or try to be soft around her. All he wanted was a good fight and that was something she was more than happy to give.

When they both collapsed on the ground, bodies shuddering with each intake of breath, it was nearly dusk.

Every ounce of her energy had been sucked and as Ochako lay in the dirt with her hair sprawling around her head, she felt deliciously empty. She could feel nothing but the pain in her lungs as she gulped down air and her aching muscles. It was euphoria.

“Wow. That was intense.”

“… yeah.” Bakugo rasped out.

Ochako turned her head to stare at the sweaty blonde. He smelled like burnt caramel, the smell sweet enough that made her almost hungry. With his eyes closed and his mouth wide open, he looked beautiful. Though Bakugo always looked good, a girl would be blind not to have noticed.

The only reason he wasn’t dating was due to his prickly personality and piercing gaze. He still had a fan base at school though. Ochako had no doubt it would only grow once he debuted as a hero.

“You weren’t completely shitty.”

“Wow, a Bakugo compliment! I must’ve been good.” She giggled.

Feeling the weight of someone’s stare, she turned to face the blonde, who was looking at her with a furrowed brow. “You know your good cheeks, don’t do that shit around me.”

“I’m not though-“

“You’re top five in the class, the only one of us who still gets called up for hero work and you have one of the most versatile quirks around. Everyone knows that. You’ll be one of the best.” He spat out each word in typical fashion, clearly unaware of how it was like hitting Ochako with a machine guns worth of bullets to the chest.

Everyone lied.

Except Bakugo. It was like, his thing. He was blunt and brutal, but every word that fell from his lips he believed whole heartedly. Those weren’t the words of a pandering friend, but of a class mate who genuinely believed that about her.

Ochako didn’t know what to say. The words felt raw, unguarded and had completely ripped through her defences.

“… not that you’ll be number one or anything.” He eventually added, the familiarity steering them back into familiar waters. Had he noticed how vulnerable he had made her? She hoped not. It was one thing to deceive others, but for some reason, Ochako found it hard to lie to Bakugo, almost as if she didn’t want to deceive him.

Someone like him didn’t deserve any more heart break, not after everything that had happened, even before the war.

There had to be something for him to end up in the house after all.

“Because you’ll be number one?”

“Damn straight. And don’t you forget it, Deku ain’t got shit on me, ya hear?”

She did hear him, perhaps a little too well. She would hear each and every breath he took, each time he shifted on the ground. Suddenly it was like a million little threads connecting her to him, tempting her to turn over and ask for more.

Because when he spoke about her, Ochako didn’t feel four days away from dying. She felt like she actually had a chance- like if she kept going, maybe she would finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, she would finally leave all the sadness behind.

“I hear you loud and clear blasty.”

“Wanna die moon face?”

When she turned to face him again he looked momentarily stunned at her smile. It was soft and broken and perhaps a little lopsided, but wasn’t that who she was on the inside?

“I’ll race you back.” She offered instead and didn’t wait for a reply.

Ochako knew Bakugo Katsuki would chase after her, just like she knew she knew she would die before the weeks end.

“Fucking cheater!” He roared, even as he started chasing her down with a manic expression on his face. She half laughed and half screamed with exhilaration, muscles burning as she darted towards the house.

Fifty meter, forty, thirty-

And a streak of blonde and black appeared to her left.

Ochako didn’t think before jumping onto his back, knocking him completely to the ground and sending them rolling. If she didn’t get to win, no one did.

“Guess it’s a tie.” She said breathlessly, not bothering to move off of Bakugo’s back. Her chest was heaving with exhaustion and her already aching muscles had gone numb.

“Like hell it is. Now get your fat ass off of me.”

“My ass is not fat!” She defended, though she did slide off of him to jog to the door.

“Cheeks, your ass will never not be fat.”

“Why are you staring at my ass so much?” She challenged, feeling a little self conscious. Ochako was well aware she hadn’t looked her best in some time, if her haggard face was anything to go by.

“Why do you care?” He shot back, but his ears had gone a little red and his argument was pretty weak. Had Ochako just found something that made him awkward? Oh, this would be good.

“Damn blasty, maybe try asking a girl out before you comment on her body.”

“fuck off!” He hissed, even more irritable now he had been rattled. “And go shower. You stink.”

“Not all of us can sweat caramel!”

“Sucks to suck. And cheeks? Be ready on time tomorrow or I’ll pound you into the ground.”

Geez, did he even know what he was saying? Or had Ochako spent too much time around Mina?

“Aye aye captain!” She mock saluted, happily pledging herself to another days worth of training. Not that there was any much point of course, because she didn’t want to disappoint Bakugo and she kind of wanted to go again for herself too…

When she got back to her room, Ochako stared at the army of white envelopes on her desk, each stating a person in her life in black ink. Right. She was going to die in four days.

It didn’t feel as sound a decision now, but the next day, Ochako was sure she would find her resolve. One training session with Bakugo and the promise of another was not enough to dissuade her from taking her own life, no matter how much she wished it would

Chapter Text

One good sparring lesson wasn’t enough to save her from the nightmares, but it wasn’t like Bakugo was some white knight rushing in to kill all of her demons and vanish them into the night. He wasn’t some cure all that would suddenly fix everything wrong with her. Ochako didn’t expect that of him- and besides, Bakugo was more commander than a mere knight. He didn’t take orders from anyone.

He would never listen to the voices in the air the way she did. He would probably tell them to go to hell or something.

Ochako wished she didn’t listen to the voices in her head and the whispers in the air.

Unlike the others, she wasn’t strong or charismatic or brave, she had nothing to offer besides a smile and a hug and how could those compare?

She was more like a useless extra, hidden in crowd of the story, watching everything from afar. She wasn’t like Bakugo. There would be no great tales about her and her exploits, no hushed awed whispers or groups of fans screaming her name.

Another lifetime maybe.

That was the only phrase that really seemed to keep her going these days.

She’d been pondering Bakugo for a while now, lying in her bed having woken up kicking and out of breath at around five am in the morning. It was probably due to the sparring session they’d had the day before that kept him in the forefront of her mind, along with her promise of another.

Two last chains holding her down to the ground, one filled with bruises and warmth, the other with soft touches and pain. How badly she wanted to snap them off of her. Only two more days until that was possible. Only one more night of peace until the end.

The white paper covering her desk seemed to watch her every move as she slowly pulled herself out of bed and into the bathroom, grabbing her trusty razor to work herself up for the day.

If Bakugo saw her now, he would be disgusted with her no doubt. How easily he invaded her every thought now. Ochako was spiralling and somehow she’d latched onto the blonde to anchor herself as she fell, her white rabbit as she fumbled ever downwards like Alice once had. It was probably because of the training session, her mind mistaking the dopamine caused by the exercise as having been caused by him.

It would have been more concerning if thinking of Bakugo didn’t prevent all her other thoughts from surfacing as much.

But depression didn’t go away in one day and just because her parents voices weren’t whispering in her ears didn’t mean she was going to stop cutting. As much as others helped, no one would truly be able to fix Ochako except for herself, and that was the one thing she didn’t want to do- not anymore.

Only a few lines were drawn on her thighs, because she just needed to hold out until training, until she could add more bruises to her collection and land a few in return.

When she fought with Bakugo, Ochako felt like each connected hit was a communication of feelings, allowing her to vent off all of her anger and hurt and frustration. It was a beautiful, scary thing. Did Bakugo know what each blow meant to her?

She hoped not.

That boy deserved more than having to deal with her stupid feelings.

Comfy clothes were the order of the morning, some of the new stuff Yamada had bought her on the shopping trip. They were chosen because the two teachers had the day off and were keen to spend it with their troubled teens.

Which meant scrutiny and a need for appearances to be maintained.

From her locked windows to the eagle eye Aizawa kept on her plate at meal times, Ochako knew she was being watched critically. Any action to suggest she was less than okay would lead to consequences that would probably interfere with her plan.

And Ochako needed her plan to go ahead, more than anything else in the world.

Another phone call from Hagiwara had confirmed that to her at one am. He was excited and eager to see her, the subtle threat in his tone as plain as day.

Did he even realise she was a hero in training?

Ochako stared at the mirror and pulled her cheeks up. She didn’t look like a hero. She didn’t even look happy or content. Soulless eyes betrayed her, a mere puppet dancing for others on the stage of life. She couldn’t wait to finally exit centre stage and watch the curtain close.

Eventually, her eyes trailed to her phone, sitting on the corner of her desk. It was futile to even consider getting a reply, but she called anyway.

Just as she always did.

Was that not the story of her life? Always reaching out, always coming too late, always not strong enough, always too little to help. There would be no answer and she would still feel guilty.

The phone continued to ring.

A few days ago, she’d tried to call Mina, feeling a little better and desperately needing contact with another girl, but the call didn’t get answered and there had been no call back.

First her parents, then her friends, even Hagiwara hadn’t bothered to pick up her call when she asked to push the meeting back just a few more days, instead ringing hours later to convey his excitement- ignoring everything she had said (just as always).

Everyone she valued seemed to think even her words were useless, unnecessary, irrelevant.

‘Sorry, the number you have dialled is currently unavailable-“

Ochako couldn’t bear to hear the rest of that automated message. It haunted her almost as much as her parents did.

No one picked up, and no one ever would. She knew that, she’d had it ingrained into every fibre of her being. But it was sad, so unbelievably sad that not a single person cared about her enough to even pick up for thirty seconds that she couldn’t accept it. Ochako could take the hits and being left alone but she couldn’t take the silence.

So she didn’t really think as she frantically clicked through her contacts, using the old buttons on her phone to go down, down, down.

It didn’t matter, it was so stupid, because people could be busy, or asleep, or at work. But she needed voices, she needed to hear someone, really hear them. The need overtook her so strongly she forgot how to breathe.

There had to be someone. Midoryia would still be asleep, so would Todoroki. Iida was busy and Tsu was looking after her siblings. Shinso had probably just fallen asleep.

Looking back, Ochako wasn’t sure why she bypassed Momo or Hakagure or Jiro, going straight to a contact she had never used before. It was because of the sparring session, the stupid sparring session that was stuck in her mind and which forced him to the forefront of the consciousness.

He picked up on the second ring.

“What.” Bakugo snapped. “If you wanted to come on my fucking run you should’ve woken up earlier, lazy shit.”

Run?

Ochako glanced at the clock. It was six thirty, right around the time Bakugo did his morning cardio.

“Sorry!” She squeaked, even as she felt the rush of relief crash over her. “I uh, just wanted to ask about training later.”

It was all she could come up with, and it sounded paper thin even to her own ears but to his credit Bakugo played along. She could hear him jogging, the faint padding of feet in the background making it clear he wouldn’t be stopping for a phone call. Such a simple thing, but one she admired all the same.

“What? Need your quirk to keep up?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to use yours since you lost so spectacularly.”

“It was a fucking tie!”

“Yeah, but I still ended up on top.”

“You’re lucky we’re on the phone right now, or I’d crush you.”

“I’d like to see you try blasty.”

The words rolled so easily off her tongue, she didn’t even have to think before she said them. When had conversation come this easily to her? When was the last time she didn’t feel the need to plan everything out three steps ahead? It was freeing, to talk without worry or fear.

“I was going easy yesterday, so shut the hell up. I’ll beat your ass into the ground.”

“You mean my fat ass?” Ochako couldn’t help but add, feeling her old impishness return. On the phone with this boy, she felt like a teenage girl again, not some disillusioned old crone stuck in some random persons body. She felt like herself again.

“I didn’t mean it like that! Shut the hell up!”

Never had Bakugo sounded more like a flustered kid.

“Are you laughing at me right now?”

“Nope, I would never!”

“You’re lucky I like your laugh cheeks, because I swear to god I’ll beat the crap out of you the next time I see you.”

“Your gonna destroy breakfast by trying to brawl with me? We could have a food fight!”

“Where the hell did that even come from?”

“I’m sorry I’m more imaginative than you Bakugo, maybe you should work on that a little more.”

It was so much fun to mess with him and push his buttons. Ochako had always enjoyed doing it, but now she understood why Kaminari was always willing to take the risk in riling him up. At least she was behind the safety of her phone and not in the direct line of fire.

“As if you’d ever waste food.”

“Maybe a grain or rice or two.” She countered, collapsing back onto her bed. His voice was gruff and raspy, probably due to his current exercise. He could’ve hung up as soon as she’d spoken as she’d seen him to many time before.

But he had stayed.

Bakugo had stayed on the phone for her.

The rush of emotion exploded in her chest, a supernova expanding to every cell of her being.

There was no excuse to hang up, or flimsy offers of calling back later that never actually occurred. He was staying and listening to her, he was talking to her even while running, even when deep into his routine.

She found it hard to breathe.

“Like you would be able to hit me, you can’t aim for shit.”

“Hey, that was one time!” She blushed, recalling an incident in which she threw a ball in the common room which Kaminari had dropped back to him- but had ended up knocking Mineta out instead due to her poor aim.

“Fucking hilarious.”

“Yeah, it was pretty funny. Is it horrible that I don’t feel bad?”

“Nah, he probably deserved it.”

Ochako didn’t mean nearly killing Mineta by accident, but she didn’t clarify. The conversation was flowing so easily, she didn’t want to ruin it or mess it up.

“I can’t believe he’s still in our class.”

“Probably ‘cause of the war and shit.”

That was true, Mineta had been there too, though he didn’t always act like it being the whiny annoyance he was. The two of them paused for a moment at that and Ochako wondered how Bakugo felt about the war. She wanted to ask him what dying felt like, because he of all people would know. But that felt too mean, to force him to relive that experience.

“He’s still annoying. I’ll see you at breakfast?”

“… yeah cheeks, you’ll see me at breakfast.” Had that been a slight smile she detected in his voice? She couldn’t tell and before she could even say goodbye, Bakugo hung up.

Star fished on the bed, she stared at her ceiling until it was a reasonable time to go downstairs for food. Her thoughts were quiet now, soft foam rather than roaring waves and by eight, she felt more of less herself. She would put in as much effort as possible, because it was her last proper day there and she wanted it to go as well as it could. She wanted nice memories to end with- what happened after dark wouldn’t count.

Todoroki somehow had the cat curled over his shoulders like a scarf and was getting the evil eye from Shinso, who was hunched over the far end of the breakfast table looking a little worse for wear. Beside him, Aizawa had face planted in a bowl of rice.

“Uh, is he alive?” Ochako asked, taking a seat opposite Todoroki and Sangsue, making sure to stroke the kitty as she passed. The lack of blondes at the table was answered when she heard some swearing and a booming laugh from the kitchen area and Ochako briefly prayed Bakugo did not try to burn the house down.

Everyone knew you didn’t mess with him when he was cooking.

“I saw him twitch a minute ago.”

“He’s fine.” Shinso rolled his eyes. “Just old.”

“Isn’t he like thirty?” She mused, serving herself a little of the food Bakugo had clearly put together for them. It was as delicious as ever and she was so happy of all the people in her class they’d gotten him because trying to eat Mina’s cooking would’ve sent them all to hospital.

“At that age, you’re basically senile.”

“Shinso is having his mid life crisis.”

Somehow Todoroki managed to dodge the piece of bread thrown his way without managing to disturb his cat- scarf.

“Morning listener! You excited for today?” Yamada appeared, looking positively ecstatic to play board games with a bunch of teenagers and his partner.

“I am. But I don’t think he is.” She jabbed a thumb at the corpse of Aizawa.

“He just needs coffee. He’s being dramatic.”

Considering that Yamada was one of the most dramatic people she knew, Ochako wasn’t really sure he understood what that word meant. And he was the English teacher at UA?

“Urrrhhh”

“See? He agrees with me, don’t you Sho?”

Ochako looked between the two of them and decided her breakfast was far more interesting than whatever they had going on between them.

“So damn noisy.”

“Hey Bakugo! How was your run?” Even though he looked as annoyed as ever, Ochako couldn’t help but be extra bubbly. He looked as gruff as ever, with hair freshly damp from his post work out shower, but because he was Bakugo and he had unfairly good genes, he still looked amazing.

“Tch. Some annoying extra was hounding me on the phone.”

“You could’ve hung up. Attention seeking much?” She sniped back, trying to dig under his skin just like he was doing to her. It was a familiar pattern, one she knew well and one she would miss a lot when she was gone. It reminded her of being seven years old in elementary school again.

“And have to talk to shitty hair while he whines about pinky being grounded? Hell no.”

“Wait. You were running with Kirishima? And you still picked up?”

The blonde stared at her like she’d grown two heads. “The fuck was I supposed to do? Ignore it?”

“But you were busy with a friend!”

“An annoying as fuck friend who’s pining for his girlfriend who lost phone privileges. Your crap was better than that. Barely.”

“But-“

“Cheeks, shut the fuck up. I’m trying to eat.” He grumbled, clearly done with the conversation. But Ochako was suspended in shock, because there was no way, absolutely no way someone had taken in her call over talking with one of their closest friends.

She didn’t know what to say, or how to act. It couldn’t be real.

And yet it was Bakugo and when did Bakugo lie?

Slowly, she tuned back into the world around her. She watched bemusedly as Yamada tried to get Aizawa to look alive again whilst Shinso and Todoroki poked fun at them. She laughed and joked along as they cleaned up from breakfast and all shuffled in to the living room.

She helped get the games out after lunch because Bakugo refused to skip his morning training (after adding greatly to her collection of bruises as well as his). Slowly, carefully, she allowed herself to sink into the spaces left for her in that house, easing herself in for one last time. It felt familiar and safe. It felt like home.

Chapter Text

“Hah! Eat shit!”

Bakugo held his hand out towards Todoroki with a grin as he collected yet more money from the other boy. Todoroki just sighed and handed over some bills, clearly over the game already. All he had done was land on Bakugo’s properties- something the blonde was more than happy to gloat about.

“It’s honestly impressive how he keeps doing that. Bakugo literally has four properties.” Shinso commented to Ochako, who was trying her best not to laugh. She herself was doing okay, but what she really wanted was to get the pink set of houses.

After an hour of game play though, it wasn’t looking likely.

Somehow Yamada had been the first to fold, going completely bankrupt and then dramatically knocking his piece over. Aizawa had managed to snag all of the green properties and was building up his hotel empire, whilst Todoroki was haemorrhaging money to Bakugo yet still never seeming to run out of money.

‘I would like to place a bet.’

‘Wrong game.’ Aizawa sighed, though he seemed to be enjoying himself well enough if the distinct absence of him sleeping or scowling implied anything.

‘if I can beat Bakugo in a trial by ordeal, we swap money and properties. If I lose, I forfeit.’ Todoroki continued, completely ignoring his guardian.

‘Bakugo isn’t stupid enough to go for that-‘ Ochako tried to argue. The blonde was one of the smartest people she knew, there was no way he would fall for such an obvious trap.

‘Your on, you weird haired motherfucker.’

Shinso snorted, ‘guess he is dumb enough.’

Ochako covered her mouth to suppress her grin. ‘Aizawa, what does trial by ordeal even mean?’

‘It means Todoroki has been watching random European documentaries with Midoriya again.’ He pulled out Sangsue from where she had been snuggled on his lap and instead placed her on his neck, as if ready to make a quick escape.

“The trial will be which one of us can carry someone the longest without the use of quirks. You have to hold them up for as long as possible. You can carry Ochako and some weights and I’ll carry Shinso.’

‘Wait, I’m involved in this?’

‘I feel like I just got told I’m fat.’

‘Don’t worry listener, you’re like a foot taller than our resident cutie over there.’ Yamada piped up. ‘I’ll get some roooockkiinggg tunes on for this! Oh yeah!’

Aizawa muttered something under his breath which sounded vaguely like ‘what the hell has he done.’ Whilst Bakugo grinned evilly, excited by the thought of competition and defeating one of his longtime rival- even if it was only over a stupid board game.

Five minutes later, the monopoly had been abandoned all together and the coffee table in the living area had been moved, punk rock playing in the background with Yamada commentating like it was the sports festival all over again.

‘Welcome one and all to the trial by ordeal, Blasty Bakugo-‘

‘Oi!’

‘Versus the ice prince Todoroki! Who will win in this clash of titans!’

‘Are you sure about this?’ Ochako whispered to her partner. There was no way Todoroki would suggest such a competition if he didn’t have some plan to win. He could be just as competitive as Bakugo; Ochako just couldn’t work out his angle just yet.

‘Easy as shit. just make sure you take away your gravity.’

‘But-‘

‘Idiot said competitors or whatever couldn’t use their quirks, not the fucking weights. Just don’t answer any questions from eye bags.’

So that was why Bakugo had been so quick to say yes. Was that why Todoroki had paired them together? but surely he had thought of that already.

‘Ugh, this feels like doing a math test.’ Ochako complained, rubbing her forehead as she tried to work out what was really going on.

‘Shut it cheeks. Get ready to win.’

Ochako glanced over at the other who guys, trying to work out wha they were discussing and why they kept on side eyeing her.

‘Are you reeeeaaaddyy?’

‘Nope.’

‘Shut up Sho, go have a nap or something. Competitor, pick up your partners! ‘

‘So how do you- hey!’ Ochako squealed as Bakugo scooped her up into his arms with the extra weights resting somehow on her stomach. She was so shocked she almost forgot take herself weightless. ‘Some warning would’ve been nice.’

‘yeah yeah, whatever.’ He huffed, shifting his weight slightly to his right foot. With Ochako weightless against his chest, he was barely carrying any weight at all, which for a gym rat like him would be easy to manage.

she glanced up a his face, admiring his cheek bones and sharp jaw. In another life he would definitely have been a model; was his skin even real?

‘Done staring?’

‘Just admiring my handy work.’ She replied, eve as she felt the blood rush to her face at having been caught looking. ‘Wow, you really do bruise like a peach.’

sitting under his chin was a large purple bruise, mostly hidden from sight except from an angle like the one Ochako had now. It was a painful, ugly thing, but to Ochako it scared a solid ten out of ten. A lovely, well executed punch, no note necessary.

‘Lucky hit.’ He grumbled, but otherwise didn’t react.

‘Psh, you’re just jealous I can punch you so hard.’

“Please, I spar with Kirishima on the regular.” Ruby eyes et her own. ‘You wanna fight again after you lost this morning?’

‘I did not loose! I told you I got something in my eye!’

Bakugo smirked down at her and Ochako felt her stomach coil in anger. She was three seconds away from punching him again, trial by ordeal be damned!

But she had to admit, he did look super pretty from that angle and besides, his arms were so warm and comfortable; she could drift off then and there. It was strange, how at peace Ochako found herself, wrapped up in Bakugo Katsuki’s arms. The world couldn’t get to her through his strong biceps, his unblemished tanned skin.

‘Whatever you say cheeks.’

Why did his voice have to sound all smooth too? He was so annoying. Ochako changed her mind again- she should definitely punch him.

“Aaanndddd over to the left with have Bakugo wrapped up in a very romantic sounding conversation with his partner, holding Uraraka in a princess hold- how cute! will he kiss the girl?”

Oh, so that had been the plan all along. The realisation dawned on the two of them at the same time.
-
‘Bakugo don’t-‘

But it was too late, he had already let go of her and with the weights on Ochako’s stomach she went crashing to the ground.

To her right, she saw Shinso sitting on Todoroki’s shoulders, drinking an energy drink. Both of them had somehow acquired sun glasses and wee wearing them, something Ochako couldn’t help but laugh at. She was so busy laughing she almost didn’t notice the phone in Shinso’s hands causally documenting what was happening.

‘IM GOING TO KILL YOU!’ Bakugo was screaming in the background, caught in Aizawa’s capture scarf whilst Yamada was spraying him with water like he was some naughty cat and through it all, Ochako laughed hysterically on the floor, embarrassment long forgotten.

It was so dramatic, so over the top it didn’t feel real, and yet of course it was because of course the two schemers would do this and of course Yamada would help out. She wasn’t even surprised by Bakugo’s reaction.

Ochako was watching a tv show unfold in real life and she was loving it. Part of her wanted to stay forever.

(She knew she couldn’t, but it was nice to pretend, if only for a little while.)

“I can’t believe the way you got Bakugo to lose was by getting evidence he can be near people without exploding.” Ochako giggled, feeling high off of air. “Simple, but effective.”

“Yeah. That was the reason.” Shinso replied dryly, now down from Todoroki’s shoulders. “Wait till I show Kirishima, he’ll be crying for days.”

“You show shitty hair and I’ll rip your arms from your body and beat you with them.” Bakugo warned, appearing out of nowhere freshly freed from Aizawa’s capture weapon looking just a little deranged.

“I have fail safes which ensure Mina would get them too. Maybe Deku.”

Oh, he was really in for it now.

Ochako rolled away just in time for Bakugo to jump on Shinso, the two rolling around like street cats in a fight. She wasn’t quite sure how they had got there, or why Aizawa had given up, but she was finding it hilarious.

Todoroki sat on the couch, watching it all go down with a small bemused smile.

After a few minutes, Ochako got bored of the play fighting. She wanted to play a game she would actually win- and monopoly was definitely over from the looks of things.

She needed something that pushed out of her mind the warm feeling of Bakugo’s arms and she needed it stat.

Twister.

That seemed like a reasonable enough game.

“Um Yamada? Can we play this next?” Ochako asked tentatively, shuffling over to her teacher, game in hand. She wasn’t sure if he would actually agree, but it was worth a try.

“Yes absolutely! You four can play and I can spin!” Yamada agreed almost immediately. “Sho has to go to work soon so it’ll be perfect.”

“Guys! We’re playing twister!” Ochako yelled happily, holding the box above her head like a prize.

She didn’t notice the others freeze in shock- the fact she’d finally picked something she wanted to do and not just what others wanted was something she hadn’t done in months. It had become obvious through the small things, so much so even the teachers had picked up on it.

Ochako also did not notice the death glare Aizawa was sending the boys way, as if daring them to say no to her request.

What she did notice was the guys immediately scrambling up and clearing a space for the mat to go down, even though Bakugo was muttering under his breath what were probably death threats.

“Wow, you guys must really like twister.” She commented, spreading out the mat with Todoroki.

“I’ve never played.” He said, staring at the coloured blobs with his usual opaque gaze.

“You’ll do great!”

“No he won’t. I’m gonna beat you so hard you won’t remember how to stand.” Bakugo taunted.

“Okayyyyyyy, rules of the game are simple!” Yamada interrupted, clearly bored of the petty arguments. “When I tell you to put a hand or a foot on a colour- you do! Don’t fall over or let your torso touch the ground. And no quirks!”

Ochako felt a wave of giddy anticipation flood through her. She hadn’t said it out loud, but she’d never played the game either and was a little anxious about how it would go.

It turned out it would go almost as chaotically as monopoly did.

A few founds in and Ochako had her head stuck between Shinso’s legs with her right hand awkwardly placed under Todoroki’s body- which he was definitely leaning on for a little support.

Bakugo had a leg in the air and was looking pretty confident with his position whilst Shinso was making weird groaning noises which didn’t sound quite human.

“Todoroki, left hand on blue!”

Ochako felt his body move so he couldn’t lean on her arm anymore and she nearly cried in relief. Even with all the training she had undergone, twister was a different kind of brutal.

“Bakugo right leg on blue!”

Now that would be interesting, considering the only blue space free was the far right one, a jumble of limbs and dots away from where Bakugo was currently.

“Hmph.”

“What the heck?” Ochako couldn’t help but gasp as he somehow manoeuvred his body to twist in such a way that his foot just tapped the dot, going over her torso and Todoroki’s too. She gaped at him, making eye contact as he lowered his head towards the ground, clearly uncomfortable with the current position.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fucking amazing. Hurry the fuck up!”

“Uraraka, left hand on yellow.”

At least it got her out from under Shinso’s legs where it currently was on a red dot. If she happened to bump into Todoroki as she moved well, that was part of the game wasn’t it? Her old competitive nature was showing through slightly and she loved it. She loved the rush of adrenaline and the excitement and the trash talk. It was like the sports festival all over again.

“Shinso, right foot red.”

“Whoops.”

“You wanna fight eye bags?” Bakugo hissed , annoyed he’d been kicked.

“Bite me.” Shinso replied in a bored tone, which made Ochako giggle. He always knew just how to press the blondes buttons.

“Todoroki, left foot green.”

“Bakugo, right leg blue.”

“Uraraka right hand yellow.”

“Shinso right hand-

“And Shinso has fallen!!!!”

Ochako smirked as she watched the purple haired boys untangle his limbs from the pile after she’d sneakily knocked him down. She’d learnt the move from his after all with all of his tactics, so she thought it would be fair to return the favour.

“You better win.” He told her, right before collapsing onto the couch with a tired grin. “I’m not losing because of a loser.”

“Roger that boss!”

The game went on for a few more rounds before Todoroki finally crumbled, though Ochako couldn’t help but feel as if something else had been the cause rather than muscle spasm or an awkward position. It left her facing off against Bakugo, which was the worst combination given his competitive nature and desire to win at all costs.

And yet, if this was her last night, her last chance to beat him like she wanted to do so badly all those months ago, she was going to go at it full force.

Turn after turn they circled one another on the twister board, taunting jabs and awkward positions, always manoeuvring just out of reach until Ochako was finally ready to make her move.

Uraraka, left leg to yellow.”

With a quick decisive kick she took out Bakugo’s right leg whilst moving her own, not the right arm he’d thought she’d go with. Within a second he was a heap on the floor, curing like a sailor whilst she stood up with a grin.

“I did it!”

Todoroki came over and patted her on the head. “Good job.”

“Can’t believe you managed to beat blasty, I think he might blow up.” Shinso said from the couch.

“I want a rematch!”

“Bring it on!” She cheered back, drunk on the feeling of winning. Her laugh felt light and happy, her cheeks light as feathers as she smiled gooey sweet.

It was fun, addicting even, to be there laughing with them all.

Aizawa left around ten for work and they continued to play until at last Ochako felt the weight of time settle on her shoulders once more.

She would need to go to sleep soon, if only to reset her mind for what would happen later that night. It felt wrong to bring such happy feelings into that hotel room, no matter how much she wanted to coat herself in them forever.

Saying goodbye was easy, aided by the careless goodbyes of the others. Those were the goodbyes of people who had a certainty of seeing someone again and Ochako preferred it that way, even if it made her heart sting for lying to them about the truth.

She was exhausted by the end of it all by the time she had climbed the stairs, but for once it was from joy.

Ochako felt empty, loose and free and she glided up each step. The night had been full of laughter, yelling and arguments and it had been wonderful. She couldn’t have hoped for a better last day.

Last day.

Her last day.

She slowly ground to a halt in the hallway before her room, slowly taking in the other doors that surrounded her. One of the last times she would ever see the people who had made her broken heart feel full again. What an odd thought.

For so long she had dreamed of peace and silence, wanting to escape the horrors of her life, that she forgot all the good she would have to leave too.

Ochako knew she would be dead in less than twenty four hours, she had accepted this when she first made the plan, so why did it feel so hard to conceptualise? Why was her mind refusing to allow her to imagining how they would go on without her?

A peel of laughter floated in the air. Todoroki, chuckling softly at something Bakugo had said at the expense of Shinso, who fired off something just as biting.

They were all so good, so warm. Did she really want to leave?

A stupid thought, borne from nerves and nothing more. Of course she wanted to leave, she’d been dreaming off nothing else except an open expanse of nothingness for months.

The sky was calling and she’d been ignoring the summons for too long.

Besides, she had already set the plan into motion. There was no reason to withdraw now.

Earlier, when Aizawa had said goodbye, she’d followed to tell him to sleep more- something she did often enough to not attract suspicion. When he left, she had tucked a tiny slither of her coat in between the door and its frame, preventing the door from locking in place.

Apparently Shinso had discovered the two pro heroes got notifications on their phones every time the door was opened and Ochako wasn’t willing to take any chances - though she still didn't quite know how shinso had discovered this fact. The door appeared closed and wouldn't give her away and that was the most important thing. All she had to do was meet up with Hagiwara and then slit her wrists to be free. Ochako couldn't quite remember when life stopped being so busy, maybe life was too busy to deal with her - it felt odd and strangely constricting.

She tiptoed along the hallway, burning the sounds of the guys laughter into he brain. Was it possible to take memories with you when you died? Ochako hoped so ' she wanted to carry their happiness with her forever. Closing her eyes she squeezed tight the raspy chuckle of shinso, contrasting with Todoroki's slightly surprised laugh, Bakaugo's explosive laughter cutting though it all.

Her bedroom door closed softly, muting the sounds from below and cocooning ochako in soft velvet. She quietly set her alarm for one am, early enough to set the rest of the components up and then got changed for bed for the last time.

For some reason, Ochako found it hard to drift off, no matter how desperately she searched her mind for the familiar clouds and stars Her mind replayed her earlier sparring with Bakugo, reminding her of the particularly sore bruise just under her boob (the result of a lightning quick side kick she had not quite been able to dodge in time). Τοdoroki’s jokes and vibes seemed to be on loop as Ochako thought of just how bright Shinto could smile.

And always, always she came back to the red eyed boy who burned with the intensity of a thousand suns.

It was one am when she woke up to the sound of her alarm for the final time.

The house was silent, the quiet blanketed one which only came when the residents were all asleep and dreaming. It lay heavy on Ochako, begging her to stay, trying to get her back into bed. She lay still for a few moments, squashing Kirby to her chest before gently rolling out of bed.

It was sad to leave, but where she was going she could relax forever.

She slipped on some clothes, taking care to rearrange of all of her things which she had neatly boxed away to make things easier for Yamada and Aizawa. Hopefully they would be able to donate all of her clothes- except maybe her old pyjamas and underwear. On top of one of the neatly packed bags, she placed Kirby, stroking the pink fluff absentmindedly.

It reminded her of home, of that tiny run down house with no furniture in but her bed and desk and small table. This time, she wouldn’t be returning. This time she would do things right. Besides, what use was there returning to an empty house if there was nothing left for her there? It was time for her to move on.

Slipping on her coat, Ochako remembered to grab the envelope full of money. She was going to slip it under her teachers door because she didn’t want people to be annoyed they didn’t get any money either. The rest she had already sent to her parents account.

It was the least she could do.

Maybe, once they were out of rehab they would be able to start a new life with her help. They could use the money without the burden of having a daughter. They could be free of burden and addiction and just live.

For the last time, Ochako called their phone numbers.

“I’m sorry, the number you have called is currently unavailable-“

Usually those words haunted her, but instead they offered her a sense of peace. It told her this was the right road to take, she was doing the right thing. There was nothing left for her to do. It was time.

There was no hesitation as she slipped out of the door, taking away some of her gravity to make sure her steps were silent. Getting down the stairs was much easier, if only because she had much better control over her quirk. All she had to do was take away all her gravity, push off and then slowly add it back in until she floated gently to the ground a floor down.

Easy.

Placing the money under her teachers door was a piece of cake. The only thing that held her back was the new photos on the wall, hung that evening by Yamada. Photos of the four of them at dinner, playing games, even one from that evening with Ochako on the ground laughing, Todoroki and Shinso posing and of course Bakugo about to attack.

Strangely, the images made her tear up, like she looking at the live she could’ve had. Everything she wanted was right there on that wall and yet it always seemed just out of reach.

She wasn’t sure why, maybe it was her selfish nature showing through once more, but she reached out and took the photo of all of them together from tonight. If she was going to die, she wanted to have the people she cared about close by, if only in sense.

Ochako didn’t see the need to be careful in closing the door, shutting it with a quiet click. Outside, where the cool breeze sifted through her hair and tickled her nose red she no longer felt sad or strangely melancholic, but grimly determined.

Only thing left to do and she would be free forever. Her parents, her friends, her teachers would all be able to remove the weight of her from their necks. Everyone would be happy, everyone would be better without her there.

Ochako didn’t look back as she began her journey to the hotel to meet Hagiwara. She didn’t glance at the house she was starting to call home or the people who remained inside.

The photo burned a hole in her coat pocket, a small flicker of warmth against the cold of the night. A reminder. A promise. She would do this, if only for them. Didn’t they deserve easy lives too?

She just hoped they found her letters and wouldn’t be too mad at the inconvenience her death might cause. Because that was the thing. She was going to die, and she was going to die in six hours

Chapter Text

Ochako space jumped over rows of neat little houses, over warm lights and muffled laughter, over groups of girls stumbling home from bars and clubs and old people out on midnight adventures. This was her world, but she would never be a part of it, forever cast as a spectator.

What was it like, to live normally?

What would it be like to have a normal family, to go to a normal school and get a normal job?

Her whole life, her family had told her she was extraordinary. When she got into UA she thought so too. But then came the war and all the horrors only a war could bring, with it had come the destruction of her family as she knew it.

Or perhaps they had always been that way and she had just never known it. It was hard to say. Ochako would probably never get an answer, not in the five or so hours she had left in the world.

Slowly, her life had crumbled around her bit by bit and she realised she wasn’t special, she wasn’t unique, she didn’t deserve kindness or respect or even love. There was no need to question the past, not when there was no future.

She loved the feeling of her hair whipping around in the wind as she arched gracefully overhead, deftly pushing off of chimneys and telephone poles without so much as a moments thought. After travelling this way for so long, it came to her as easily as breathing. When she travelled this way, there were no thoughts left to torment her. It was almost as good as floating high in the sky. She felt calmer, more at peace with herself, as if the wind was gently stripping everything else away as it moved past her.

Now she was out of the house and far removed from UA grounds, it was much easier to separate herself from the people who remained. The weight of the picture in her pocket was heavy, but not yet crushing.

She just hoped whoever was in charge of her burial would place the image with her. One last selfish request for a selfish girl.

What would her parents think? Why did she even care? It shouldn’t matter any more- and yet part of her wished she had taken a photo of them with her too, tucked away close to her heart to reassure her in those final moments.

Perhaps there would always be something left to regret.

When Ochako was only a few streets away she paused on a rooftop. It was nondescript, around six stories high with apartments and a ground flor laundromat place, slightly old and crumbling. It was probably the same as the next roof over, or the one on the other side of the street, but for some reason, this was where she decided to stop.

She needed to think, to remember and to cherish.

If she would remember nothing of her life on the other side, she at least wanted to say goodbye to her close ones and memories properly.

Her first memory was cooking with her parents, accidentally covering them all with flower when she dropped the bag, filling the whole room with laughter.

The first time she activated her quirk and the joy yet also panic of trying to work out how to get it to turn off (the neighbourhood cat had not appreciated that at all). Her families faces when she showed them, making the table float and even herself, spinning in circles on the roof whilst her mom called every relative they knew.

Her grandparents, smiling at her as she gave them Christmas gifts. Her cousins, aunts and uncles at each family gathering, filling the air with sweet laughter and quirky little stories.

Her friends from elementary school. Studying space for the first time. Middle school. Acing a math test and bragging to her parents.

The little moments, picking flowers on the side of the road. A selfie with her friends. Strawberry mochi, chocolate milkshakes, udon.

The UA entrance exam. Meeting Deku, getting into UA. The rest of 1A, especially the girls and Iida, Todoroki too.

Everything they had been through together, from the USJ incident, to the sports festival to working with real heroes on the streets.

Training with Gunhead, mastering her quirk, even the ugly memories like the war- Ochako carefully combed through them all, saying farewell to each one even though it hurt. People were the sum of their parts both beautiful and ugly. It felt wrong to her to ignore all of her darkness and glorify the light- little though there was. Every action had shaped her for better or worse and in that moment, she embraced it.

Next were the people, every person she had ever met and every interaction she could remember.

The strangers.

The kind old ladies down her street.

Her old friends.

He grandparents.

Her teachers.

Clas 1-A.

Momo.

Jiro

hakagure.

Mina.

Tsu.

Iida.

Deku.

Shinso.

Todoroki.

Bakugo.

And of course, her parents.

Little weights seemed to unwind from her soul as she slowly let go of each person, staring thoughtfully at the polluted night sky to where the stars were twinkling invisibly overhead. there was no more tears, no more sadness left.

She loved them all and she hoped they would thrive without her there to hold them back. She hoped they all lived happily and that the world became a better place not just because of them, but for them. She sat for a while until there was nothing left to say or think.

It truly was time to go.

One last horrible deed before she could leave. Wasn’t that a nice thought? One last horrible deed thing to tick off of her lift and she would finally be free to untether herself for good.

Ochako stretched her arms out, feeling the world around her, relishing in the cities noises even though most of it slumbered after another busy day. She breathed in the night air and flung herself off of the roof.

She fell for centuries, never once feeling fear for her life. She waited and waited until she had no choice but to activate her quirk, sending her bobbing upwards. She would kick off the building and resume her journey to the hotel-

Something was on her ankle, latched on tight.

One moment Ochako was rising gently in the air, the next she was jerked harshly into someone’s chest, her feet barely grazing the ground as she tried to free herself, thrashing wildly against the villain.

She didn’t have time for this, not today of all days.

“Care to explain where you’re going?”

It was as if he had submerged her in freezing cold water. Devastation ripped through Ochako, leaving her trembling and wishing she’d been shot. Slowly, she brought her finger tips together and deactivated her quirk, freezing her moments. Then, she stepped backwards, facing the person who had dragged her back and ruined her plans for the last five hours of her life.

This couldn’t be how it ended. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. All of her plans, her letters, Hagiwara, she couldn’t let it all go to waste. It was her life wasn’t it? She should be the one to choose when it ended.

“I have somewhere I need to be.”

“No, you dont.” Aizawa said, levelling his tired ruby eyes at her. “You’re coming with me.”

***

It was one of those twenty four hour diners-greasy, warm yellow lighting and only a few customers decorating the room. The smell of cheap coffee and sugar permeated the air. It made Ochako think of the cafe she had worked at and felt a strange sense of comfort as she slid into a booth in the corner of the room, right opposite her teacher-turned-guardian.

In that moment, Ochako understood why there were so many American films which had a diner scene in them. There was something homey and comforting about the place, allowing her to relax a little into the faux leather seats.

“Welcome. What can I get you?” A tired looking woman appeared from nowhere, pulling a notepad out of her apron.

“Black coffee.”

Really, Ochako wasn’t sure why she was so suprised. It was Aizawa after all.

“And you dear?”

“Oh um…”

“Im paying.” The way he said it sounded more like a threat, though it probably was since was speaking to her.

“Can I have a hot chocolate please?”

“Cream and marshmallows?”

“Oh um, it’s okay thanks-“

“She will.”

The waitress looked between the two of them, clearly a little confused but not interested enough to care too much. “Well, if you don’t want ‘em you can always just scrape ‘em off.”

And with that she shuffled away, appearing moments later with a large mug and a pot of coffee.

Aizawa made no move to touch his drink, or even speak and so Ochako waited in silence until her hot chocolate arrived a few minutes later. The cream and marshmallows looked heavenly and she was suddenly extremely grateful Aizawa had gotten them for her. It was the least he could do considering he’d just ruined what was left of her life.

She was the first to crack, taking a sip of her drink.

“Thank you.” She said softly, unable to look her teacher in the eye and feeling like a bug under a microscope with his intense stare focused solely on her.

Time dragged on, each tick of the diners clock an eternity, until at last, Aizawa spoke.

“Why did you leave tonight?”

“I was just floating around the city and-“

“The truth.”

“It is the truth!” The words came out rushed and distorted, her desperation shining through.

“Uraraka, you’re lying. As your guardians-“

“You’re not my guardian. You’re my teacher babysitting me whilst my parents are in some random facility because you put them there and now you’re stuck with me!” She was breathing hard and fast but it didn’t feel like enough oxygen was in her system. It was too much, she should be in bed, letting Hagiwara touch her and do things to her whilst she pleasantly drifted and dreamed of death.

It wasn’t supposed to be this.

“I need to leave. I have to go now, there’s still time, I can still make it and he won’t be mad and then it will all be fine.”

“Uraraka-“

“Don’t touch me!” She hissed, recoiling suddenly as she saw Aizawa lean forward towards her. She was rocking slightly now and her heart had started pounding in her head. She hated when that happened. She hated the sound of it so, so much. When she was dead she would never have to hear that sound again.

Ochako wanted to die.

She wanted it so badly her wrists ached and her thighs sang.

But she couldn’t have the one thing she wanted most because of the man sitting in front of her.

Why was it always the men?

Always taking, taking, taking, without a care for her.

“Uraraka-“

“I just want to go, please I have to go-“

She stood, holding her stomach like she could stop the words from falling out of her mouth.

“Ochako.”

Tears were dripping down her face and she was aware she probably looked crazy. Maybe she was, did it matter? Nothing mattered, except getting to that hotel room soon because Hagiwara would be so mad and-

Maybe it was the way Aizawa had moved his arm, opening himself up a little as she stood. Maybe it was his tired eyes or his weary expression, or the pity she could feel emanating from him.

Ochako stared at her teacher for a long moment, before throwing her arms around his middle tightly and sobbing into his worn black hero gear without a thought.

For a second, Aizawa froze, unable to comprehend what had happened. Eventually he gathered himself together enough to tentatively wrap his arms around his student back, gently guiding her back into the booth away from any prying eyes.

Ochako was surprised to find Aizawa so warm and surprisingly nice to hug. He reminded her a little of both her dad and mom, which made it almost painful in a way, because it was her teacher comforting her, not them. She cried for every person she didn’t save, for every opportunity missed, for every person she had hurt, for every person she burdened. She cried for her younger self and all the dreams she had that would never be fulfilled, for her parents who had left her alone but had been carrying a burden too heavy to bear. She cried for Todoroki and Deku and Shinso and Bakugo. She cried for Mina and Tsu and Iida.

She cried and cried until at last only broken hiccups remained.

Still, she didn’t pull away from her teacher.

Aizawa said nothing through it all, simply holding her together whilst she broke down, weathering the storm like a seasoned mariner.

“How did you know where I was?” She finally managed to croak out, her voice thick with emotion.

He waited until she had pulled back slightly before speaking, analysing her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“I got a notification the door had shut.”

“Shinso said you only got those when the door opened.”

Aizawa reached across the table and slid the hot chocolate over to their side, right in front of Uraraka. She picked the mug up without thinking, taking a large gulp of the now warm liquid, staring almost through him, her eyes slightly unfocused.

“Any time the sensor is activated I get a notification. Those in turn activate the cameras and-“

“You saw me leave.”

“I did.”

“You followed me?”

“Yes.”

“…oh.”

“Are you still on your shift?”

“I called in sick.”

All because she shut the door. All this because she was too stupid to not close a silly door. Her whole plan, ruined. She had failed. Again.

“Where were you going?”

“Back to work-“

“No you weren’t.” Aizawa sighed again, rubbing a palm over his face.

Ochako’s head sank into her shoulders and she struggled to think of what to say. She didn’t have anything left in her, no more lies to tell or excuses to make. The clock on the wall told her it was too late now to get to the hotel. She had gambled and lost, but here was Aizawa.

He had chosen to follow her, chosen to try to understand. He had decided to get her a drink and ask her what was wrong. It was horrible and scarily nice all at once. It would be nice to tell someone something, even if it was the worst decision she could possibly make. Ochako was so lonely, so tired of holding it in and now, there was no longer any point.

“I was going to meet someone.” She said, sounding small and almost childlike.

“Who? Ochako-“ he paused, as if waiting to see what reaction she would have to him using her name. “I’m not going to be angry. I’m not going to yell or force you to answer, I’m going to listen to everything you have to say without judgment, okay?”

“…okay.”

The clock kept on ticking. Her thumping head subsided a little and Ochako took another sip of her hot chocolate, allowing the sweetness to ground her in that moment, that diner with his yellowish walls sand scent of coffee grounds and half forgotten memories.

“I was going to meet a man. Hagiwara. In the hotel four streets away.”

“Do you see him a lot?”

Ochako shuddered, imagining what it would be like to do that. To come home to someone like Hagiwara day after day, to be subjected to the same things night after night. She couldn’t quite believe she had almost decided on that life for herself only a few months ago.

“I um, I used to. Not since I stopped working at the cafe. Tonight was going to be my last time.”

“I see.” Aizawa nodded, unsure of what to say next.”

“You want to know if he raped me, right?” Doe eyes stared into his soul. The word rolled off her tongue with a little too much ease. She’d rationalised it of course, explaining the events of each night over and over again until it felt justifiable, consensual. She knew it wasn’t rape. She was sure of that at least.

“Did he?”

“No. He asked and I said yes.”

“Do you like him?”

“No.” She even managed to laugh at that, before wrinkling his nose. “He has weird hair and has super stinky breath. But he always gives me a lot of money so…”

“So you go back.”

“So I go back.” She nodded. Ochako couldn’t quite believe she was actually talking about it with someone, or that the person would be Aizawa of all people. She didn’t feel as scared as she thought she would have once the words started pouring out of her. The build up was always the worse part.

“I uh, I wasn’t planning on going back ever again but when we went grocery shopping he s-saw me outside and-“ she choked on a sob. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying so much and- it’s so embarrassing.”

“You never have to apologise for expressing your emotions.” Aizawa said sternly. “It’s always okay to cry. Think about Midoriya.”

That got her to smile at least. “His quirk should be crying.”

“Indeed.”

“He’s not that horrible. He never forced me to when I said no. He asked a lot in the first few months I was working but he always backed off. Always came in to order the exact same thing for him and his men too. I just… one time I was really desperate for money you know? It was my only option and I had to get it to my parents for the end of the week and well… sometimes letting him do stuff was easier than taking on another shift.”

“Do stuff?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fine. Was the money for your parents?”

“Yeah. I guess it was for the drugs or something looking back. I just, I guess I didn’t want to be a horrible daughter for not helping her family. They’ve given me so much and I’ve barely done anything for them.”

“Ochako, how old is Hagiwara.”

“I… don’t know. Twenty six maybe?” She occurred up reluctantly.

“Do you have any way to contact him.”

“Just a phone num- oh no.” She broke off, frantically searching the pockets of her coat until she found her phone. Dozens of missed calls flooded her screen as well as multiple texts- all from one number.

H: where r u

H: u know not to keep me waiting angel face

H:???????

H: where the fuck r u

H: don’t piss me off Uraraka
H: u don’t want to see me angry

H: guess I’ll have to pay ur parents a visit then u selfish bitch

H: still time to make it up to me u know ;)

She reread each message whilst her stomach seemed to drop to the floor, making the rest of the world spin slightly as she tried to comprehend what was going on.

“I really, really have to go.”

“Ochako, I can’t let you go to meet this man.”

“I have to!” She nearly screamed, only able to stop herself at the last possible second. “I have to or he could hurt them.”

“Hurt who?”

“My parents. Please I have to go.”

“No, you don’t.” Aizawa repeated. “I’m going to send some heroes over there to deal with it. The only place you will be going apart from this is back home.”

“I can’t.” She whispered brokenly. “I can’t go back. I’ve already said goodbye.”

“Said goodbye? Why did you say goodbye?” Finally Aizawa showed a hint of worry outwardly in his voice. “Ochako. Were you planning on harming yourself tonight.”

She didn’t respond.

“Were you planning to kill yourself tonight.”

A defeated nod was all she could offer him.

“I wrote everyone letters. I said goodbye. I can’t go back now.”

“So you were going to see Hagiwara and then do it?”

“Yes.”

“…okay.”

“Okay?” Ochako repeated, confused.

“I don’t think tonight is the best time to be discussing this. Another hot chocolate?”

“I don’t understand.”

Aizawa finally took a sip of his coffee. “You’re emotionally exhausted and have gone through a lot. I don’t think it’s fair to keep asking you questions. We can keep talking if you wish but you will not be seeing Hagiwara and we will have to go home at some point.”

“Okay.”

“We can stay here as long as you want.”

“I don’t mind-“

“Tonight Ochako, we are only doing what you want to do. No questions asked.”

He spoke in such a matter of fact manner she couldn’t help but agree, shakily nodding her head in agreement.

“I’m tired.” She whispered, staring at the table. “I just want everything to stop.”

Aizawa said nothing, letting her have all the space she needed to verbalise her thoughts.

“I feel like such a horrible person all of the time, I feel like I’m being haunted by all the people I couldn’t save.” She sniffed. “Even after the war and everything, why did I have to be the one to go back? Why did I have to go when no one else did?”

“The HPSC.” A statement, not a fact.

“I know my quirk is valuable- I know that! I know I helped save people but… I’m tired and my heart hearts and it’s not fair! It’s not fair and I know I’m selfish and horrible for saying that but it’s true.” She was getting too loud again, so she took a breath to reset. Ochako wasn’t even sure why this part had slipped out.

Maybe it was the moment they were in, the fragile bubble of comfort Aizawa had created for them. Maybe it was just her selfish desire to make everything about her.

“Everyone else got to go back to normal, so why do I have to keep watching people die?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.”

The lady appeared with another hot chocolate. Ochako didn’t even remember Aizawa ordering one. The waitress offered her a sympathetic smile when she saw her face and shuffled off, leaving her staring blankly at the huge tower of cream and sugar.

“Aizawa? Can I have another hug please?”

“Always.” He said gruffly, just managing to get his arms around her and hold her tightly as she cried once more.

It wasn’t like she was magically fixed from a conversation and some hot chocolates. It wasn’t like she stopped wanting to die, to float forever instead of being firmly on the ground, but in that moment, everything felt different. With Aizawa in the diner, she felt safe.

There Hagiwara could not touch her, her parents ghosts couldn’t whisper in her ears, the dead stopped trailing behind her in an eternal procession. She was sad and covered in tears, filled to the brim on sugar and regret, but in that moment, it was more than enough.