Work Text:
He's at the rooftop again.
Standing by the door, he gazes at the ethereal figure standing a distance from him. Dressed in casual attire, their long black hair flows gently in the wind, humming a tune to an unseeing audience.
He speaks and the figure turns around, mouth moving in incomprehensible patterns, their face too blurred for him to decipher. Pale skin glowing in moonlight, their hand reaches out for a moment, before retracting and turning back to face the starless skies.
He tries to move to reach out and then-
Yingxing wakes up.
Oh great. Yingxing looks at the clock by his bedside and groans. 4:30am. Early. Again.
I swear my body is working against me. He grumbles as he slides out of bed, stretching and yawning. There is no way he is going to be able to sleep again. He knows this from past experience. Last time this happened, he ended up staring at the ceiling until 6am the time he should be waking up at and then giving up to make a cup of coffee before preparing for work.
This time he knows better, and decides to just work on some personal sketches of his own for about a while until 6am.
And so, he does exactly that. He gets out of bed, brushes his teeth and cleans his face, changing out of his pajamas to casual home wear. Taking a sip out of his favourite dark roasted coffee, he hums a light tune as he pulls out his drawer to retrieve the papers and sits down at his desk.
He sighs, gazing at the sketches. It is a familiar scene in his dreams, that of a strange figure standing on the ledge, with long hair flowing behind them. It is a dream that he has been having for the longest time, one that he has tried so desperately to decipher. Who is this person? Why are they standing there? Heck, why is he even dreaming about this person?
Ah, no point ruminating. If he hasn't managed to solve this in the past decade of his life, no way it is getting done now. Anyway, here he is putting in the final touches to the mysterious figure in his sketch. A hard stroke with his pencil gradually softening at the tips, curling at the ends. He repeats this several times to illustrate the long flowing hair of the figure as they gaze out into the sky.
Before long, his alarm rings at 6am sharp. He taps the clock to silence it.
Time for a shower, and then…work. He stretches on the chair he has been sitting in for the past hour and stands up.
It's not that he hates the job. Really, he actually loves it. The only unfortunate thing is that he is very much a night owl and despite the job description, he actually has to be present at meetings and socialise with his other co-workers at his office. That means waking up early and staying at the place for at least six hours to satisfy his boss. Thank gosh at least that he only has to be on site for three days a week. If it was more he might just- eh never mind. Better not follow through with that train of thought.
Yeah, let's just get back to business.
Thirty minutes is all it takes for him to shower, dress and eat before he's standing at his front door, doing final checks on himself to ensure he doesn't forget anything. Last time he had forgotten to bring his laptop until halfway through the trip and…the scolding from his sister much later on still rings in his ears even to this very day. Water. Laptop check. Wallet check. Watch check. Staff card check. Is he forgetting anything…
He pats himself down, rummaging through his bag and pockets. Nope. Seems like everything is in order. Perfect. He smiles to himself as he takes out his house keys. Time to go.
~0o0~
“Yingxing. Yingxing! Helloooooooooo?”
Yingxing looks up and sees a familiar face waving their hand in front of him. It's Sushang, one of the interns and the one most frequently sent to relay messages to him.
“What is it?”
“Meeting's starting in five. Be ready by then.”
“Okay okay. Thanks for the notice.”
He gets out of the chair and grabs his jacket before heading out, Sushang following a step behind holding a large stack of files.
“Any idea what this meeting's about? Usually I don't get called to attend Monday's meetings.”
“Not entirely sure to be honest. But given the fact that the office's key staff are all here today I wager it has to be something important.”
Yingxing ponders for a moment. Something important enough to require all high ranks to attend. A revaluation of the company's strategy? A new change in leadership? Just what could it be…
This is going to be interesting. Yingxing takes his place along the long table somewhere in the middle and takes this chance to look around. Jingliu and Jing Yuan are already at their spots discussing…something about the files they are holding no doubt. Company revenue? Jiaoqiu seems to be regaling a rather thrilling tale to Lingsha and Feixiao based on the expressions those two are making. Fu Xuan is writing up something at her end while Yukong is stacking up some papers. Overall, it seems like only the boss is unaccounted for.
And speak of the devil, thy shall appear. Yingxing along with the rest of his co workers all stop their activities to stand and bow towards their boss as they move towards the front of the table. Said boss tilts their head in acknowledgement before gesturing for them all to be seated.
“Thank you for coming, everyone. I apologise for the short notice of this meeting.” Ah right, I forgot not everyone's supposed to be here today. Mainly Fu Xuan and Yukong. Everyone else just stays silent, waiting for them to continue.
“As you are all well aware, the previous secretary retired a month ago, and since then we have been searching for a new one. Today, we shall be welcoming our new employee today.” A quiet murmur emerges at this reveal. So this is what the meeting is about. That explains why everyone has to be here today.
“I expect you all to be warm and welcoming towards them. This is not their first job in general, but it is their first in this line of work. So treat them kindly, and do not overwhelm them.” Their boss gestures with their hand towards the door. “You can come in now.”
There are many different feelings surrounding Yingxing as of now. Curiosity definitely. Apprehension, for the one this new secretary is replacing has been with the company for over thirty years. Whoever this new person was, they have big shoes to fill. But there is only one thing he can think of now as this new secretary steps into the meeting room.
Why do you look so familiar?
There is just something about this person that just screams in his head in a particular way. Long dark hair tied in a bun, pinned with a peculiar flower hair pin that tickles at his brain with this odd feeling of deja vu, they seem cleanly dressed in a button up shirt and plain black pants. Overall, a very professional look. But why do you look so familiar to me?
“Everyone, this is Dan Feng. He will be working alongside you all from today. Dan Feng, please briefly introduce yourself to your new colleagues.”
This new person, Dan Feng, seems a little stiff, if their posture is anything to go by. They clear their throat before speaking.
“Hello. My name is Dan Feng, he/him pronouns. I look forward to working with all of you.”
Huh, a little shy perhaps? Or just one that does not bother with flowery language. Either way, it is a brief introduction. Everyone politely claps as Dan Feng bows and takes a seat at the conference table.
“Thank you. Now onto the next item…”
And so the meeting drags on and on per usual. Yingxing feels like he is about to be driven mad by the end of it. On a usual day he would be spending the entire day working on posts and designs for their company at his desk, not at a meeting listening to people drone on and on about matters he couldn't possibly care much for.
Thankfully, it does not take too long to end. The moment the boss dismisses everyone, Yingxing rushes out, eager to return back to his projects. Unfortunately, a tap on his shoulder stops him from accomplishing his goal as he turns around to see who it is. Just as he is about to open his mouth to retort, he is rendered speechless at just who it is that stopped him.
It is the new person, Dan Feng. Yingxing's mind screeches to a halt, blinking at him in confusion.
“Do you need me for something?”
“Boss assigned you to show him around, remember? Or were you not paying attention when they mentioned it?”
He turns to see Jing Yuan walking up to him and winking, tossing a bunch of files for him to catch. He scowls. Brat, he thinks fondly, before skimming the files.
“And why me and not say, Yukong or one of the other secretaries?”
“Because you will be seeing each other quite often anyway so Boss thinks it's better for you to do it.”
Yingxing sighs, before turning towards Dan Feng and holding out his hand.
“Alright then. Shall we?”
Dan Feng stares at the offered hand with a weird glint in his eyes before tentatively putting a hand on top of it.
“We shall.”
~0o0~
Dan Feng is a lot more interesting of a person than he is at first glance.
Yingxing hums as he types away on his computer. They have just finished their full tour around the office. Yingxing has made sure to stop at all the important areas and give brief explanations into each area's function: the main office where everyone works, the break room where one can take a quick break with some coffee and snacks as well as others.
Despite this being his first foray into this line of work, it seems like he has done his homework, as he seems quite informed in the ways they conduct things in this company. Or maybe he's just a quick learner. Either way, it didn't take long for him to be settled in his new workspace and for Yingxing's obligations towards him to be over for now.
“Oi! Oi Yingxing!”
A sigh escapes his lips. Yingxing continues tapping away at his keyboard. He can easily tell by voice who is calling out to him.
“What is it Feixiao?”
Feixiao rely laughs out jovially, slamming a hand on his desk. Gosh, is she drunk already? It's only what? 2pm? Sometimes he questions his colleagues' decisions to overindulge during work hours, not that he is any better sometimes but shush.
“Thoughts on the newbie?” Ah this again. Perhaps it is because it has been a while since the office gained a new staff member, but this is the third time someone tried to interrupt his work to ask for gossip. He doesn't bother to turn around, simply replying with mild irritation seeping through his voice.
“Like I told Jiaoqiu, he's got a good head on his shoulders-”
“Yeah yeah, I know. He told me already. But what else? You have to have some other thoughts.”
Yingxing breathes in deeply, trying to resist the urge to throw something at her. “Well, what do you want me to say?”
“For example…you think he's pretty?”
“...” He pauses in his typings and stares at the definitely not drunk woman, raising an eyebrow. She merely laughs at his reaction, seemingly unaware of the impact her words had.
“What? Gossip travels far, and pretty much most of the office realised after several social gatherings.” Everyone else quickly avert their eyes, pretending to be immersed in their own work.
Ah, those. He remembers why he sometimes hates attending those events. Usually he abstains because he prefers to spend that time either catching up on his work or working on his other things, unless his big sis Baiheng pushes him to because he needs to ‘socialise’ and ‘get along’ with his co-workers. He doesn't really need them though. He's doing perfectly fine with his colleagues, even if he sometimes has doubts over their sanity.
“I'm not looking at the moment Feixiao. You know what happened with the last one.” To say it ended disastrously would be to put it a bit too lightly if he is being honest. He rather never revisit that memory again if he can.
“Maybe. But can't hurt to keep your options open, no? For the future of course, not now. Can't have you be accused of trying to poach the newbie or something like that.”
“I suppose…” He flicks through his phone to check his messages. Hmm, it seems the bills are rising again. Great. Just absolutely great.
“Anyway, I'll scram since you look about to snap at someone right now.” Oops, is his irritation that obvious? He needs to work on his poker face more. “Chat later.” And with that, she slips out back to her desk, just in time before Jingliu comes by to check up on everyone's progress.
~0o0~
Thankfully, the rest of the day progressed as it normally does. Yingxing spends the day going over plans upon plans for announcements and release dates, approving designs and others.
At 5pm sharp, he closes his laptop and stands up, stretching and yawning. Another day's work done. He packs up his things and makes his way downstairs, waving bye to the receptionist on the ground. Whistling a tune, he walks down the road to head to his usual bus stop, when he stops and stares at the only person sitting there.
It is that newbie again, Dan Feng.
He doesn't seem to notice him, ears covered by a pair of headphones and scrolling through his phone. His backpack is sitting right next to him, with a cat keychain on it. He seems rather peaceful.
Yingxing should probably turn around and leave him alone, but this is the only bus route that leads back to his apartment. What should he do then…
He decides to do the following things. First, he will casually walk to sit next to him. Second, he will stay still and try not to draw attention to himself while they wait for the bus. Easy enough right?
Apparently not, as he nearly tripped over an actual cat's tail as he proceeded with step one of his plan. He barely manages to catch himself with his hands before he face plants on the floor. The cat yowls and jumps to take a swipe. As he tries to reorient himself to defend against the feline, suddenly a pair of slender hands reaches out to catch the cat, putting them on his lap and scratching it behind its ears.
Yingxing blinks from his position on the concrete, staring into the green eyes of the one who saved him from a painful scratch on the face. Dan Feng quirks his lips in amusement as Yingxing quickly picks himself up, ears feeling hot. So much for not bothering him. Wonderful job Yingxing, you klutz.
“Ah, sorry about that.” Yingxing dusts himself off, looking at Dan Feng apologetically. “Mind if I sit here?”
He receives a nod and scrambles to plant himself there, briefly glancing at the cat in his colleague’s lap purring up a storm. He turns away mostly out of embarrassment if he gets caught staring and rummages through his bag to make sure nothing has fallen off. Thankfully none. He breathes a sigh of relief. That's good, it would have been quite a pickle if he lost anything.
He puts his bag on his lap and checks his watch. Approximately 5 more minutes before the bus arrives. Hmm, what can he do to pass the time? He could read his emails. After all, he hasn't checked it in a while.
And so, he does exactly that for the next 5 minutes. The bus arrives not long after, and he has to put his phone away before stepping onto the bus. Seating himself at his usual spot near the windows, he then takes out his own headphones. He briefly spots Dan Feng heading behind the bus at the corner of his eyes, but pays no heed to it as he immerses himself in the music while the bus drives along the road, already looking forward to his comfy bed at home.
~0o0~
Despite being told that he would be working very closely with Dan Feng, in actuality, he has barely even interacted with the man for the past week since that day beyond the standard greetings. He has however been keeping his ear on the ground for gossip to hear what his various co-workers think of their new colleagues and so far, the feedback has been relatively positive.
Yukong commends him for his ability to keep up the standards of his predecessor. Jiaoqiu adds that he is quite organised and efficient, managing the various schedules very well. Even Moze, notoriously silent when it comes to this sort of matter, piqued up a praise or two on the man's capabilities.
Yingxing's curiosity grows with each new tidbit of information, but he hasn't tried to do anything with it, too occupied with his various projects to do anything beyond exchanging pleasantries like he does with everyone else he meets.
So when he finds Dan Feng sitting there at the bus stop again after his shift ends with that same cat in his lap. Yingxing gives a wave and takes the chance to sit next to him again, eyeing the feline warily. Thankfully, it doesn't decide to take a swipe at him this time, though it might also be because he isn't accidentally or not trampling on the poor thing's tail. The cat leaps off and wanders away, swishing its tail as it goes.
Yingxing sits in silence, contemplating what to do. Dan Feng is not wearing his headphones this time, nor is he scrolling on his phone. So it should be okay to start a conversation right? But what should he say? He thinks for a while, before blurting it out, his words tumbling out faster than his mind can keep up.
“How are you enjoying the work so far?” Almost immediately, he cringes. Of all topics he could have picked, he just had to pick work. Yingxing Yingxing what is wrong with you?!
Dan Feng stews in that question for a while, before replying with a soft voice.
“It is very nice. Everyone has been kind and welcoming.”
Oh…oh thank gosh he doesn't seem to be too bothered by it. Yingxing awkwardly clears his throat before continuing.
“That's good. I was worried for a moment some of our more umm…forward colleagues may have scared you away.” He laughs nervously. It hasn't happened in a while, but he remembers a time a while ago when quite a few potential hires were scared away because of some of their…eccentricities. Hence, the very stern warning from their boss during that meeting last week to not overwhelm the newbie.
Dan Feng chuckles. “They were a bit much at first,” he admits, “but they toned it down after a while. I think they noticed I wasn't too comfortable with it.”
That has to be the longest reply he has ever gotten from the man. Taking this chance, he continues.
“Well, I'm glad you are enjoying it at the very least. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Dan Feng shakes his head. “Not at the moment, but thank you for the offer.”
And that just about signals the end of the conversation, good thing too since the bus decides to arrive at this very moment. Yingxing gets up to board the bus and settles at his usual spot.
Just as he is about to drift away to the sound of his headphones, he is startled by a tap on his shoulder and pauses. Tilting his head up, he sees Dan Feng sheepishly looking at him, fingers thumping nervously.
“Do you mind if I sit here? It is the only one left empty.”
Yingxing glances around and notes that indeed there are not more seats left other than the one on his right. “Sure.” He shifts his bag from the seat to his lap, and Dan Feng slides into place, putting his own bag on his lap.
The bus begins its journey soon after as quiet chatter fills in. Yinxing passes the time as he normally does, listening to his music and staring at the scenery through the window.
When he arrives at his bus stop, he taps Dan Feng's shoulders to let him know that he needs to exit when suddenly Dan Feng stands up as well without prompting and leaves. Yingxing is slightly bewildered but takes advantage of this to move out without much comment. So what if they both descend on the same stop? He doubts they will be heading to the same place after all.
Once they both exit however, Yingxing's confusion grows as he realises that they are both heading in the same direction. He's…pretty sure this wasn't the case last week. Maybe he's just visiting someone nearby? He tries to reason with himself. The only thing left in this direction are just apartment buildings. No way did he somehow miss that one of his colleagues lives in the exact same area as him for the past week.
But as is with his luck, it doesn't turn out the way he wants it to.
Dan Feng seems to come to the same conclusion as him when they both exit the same elevator on the same floor of the building.
“Oh.”
Oh is a bit of an underwhelming reaction towards this. Yingxing cannot help but feel mildly hysterical at this strange turn of events. He turns towards Dan Feng and asks.
“Are you visiting someone or…?”
“...No, I live here.”
“I see…”
Thankfully for his sanity, they do not live next door to each other but actually the opposite direction. Yingxing hastily waves goodbye before sprint walking towards his door. He takes out his keys and quickly unlocks it, going inside and then locking it. He puts his bag down and walks to the kitchen, sitting down and staring at the door.
He's not entirely sure why he is reacting in this way. Perhaps it's just the inherent awkwardness of having a work colleague who lives close to you. Most of the people he knows at work live quite a fair distance from him, so he never ever sees them around here unless they decide to purposefully come here for…whatever reason.
And honestly, he doesn't particularly care about that. First, he prefers to keep his work and personal life separate. Secondly, he's pretty content with the circle he has. It's not large by any means, but it has people that he knows he can rely on.
At least Dan Feng doesn't seem the type to barge in at random times like he knows some of his co-workers can do occasionally he's heard the stories so he can rest easy on that department. He seems like quite the nice person too. So really, is there anything worth worrying about?
Not really. He sighs, and stands to make his second cup of coffee of the day. I’m just overthinking for nothing again. It's a good thing his sister doesn't live with him, otherwise she might try to smother him with her concern. Not that he doesn't appreciate it, it's just…too much sometimes.
Sighing again, he takes a sip of his brew and goes to his fridge, intending to make a quick meal for dinner when he realises something. Something crucial.
His fridge is empty.
Oops.
He's screwed for tonight.
~0o0~
His dreams have been strangely vivid as of late.
Most of the time, he usually can only make out the silhouette of the person. Their long flowing hair, their thin figure. Rarely could he make out any other defining features.
Until recently of course.
It's the weekend, and so he's been staying at home as usual. He shuffles through the sketches he has, going through from the earliest to the latest. Scanning through them, he starts to notice something. Something that hasn't registered in his mind until he stops to think about it.
The dates.
On every piece of sketch he makes, he's always puts a date at the corner to mark the day it was done. It's a habit he started long ago when he was younger due to an accident that made him lose part of his memory, and it's this specific habit of his that makes him realise something.
His dreams have only started changing ever since Dan Feng entered his life.
But why?
Perhaps he's related to the person in his dreams? They seem to have a similar silhouette, but that is not exactly conclusive evidence. The person in his dreams more closely resembles that of a teen, or maybe a very short person. Now, there is a gap in Yingxing's memory thank you accident so there is a chance he might have forgotten if they have ever met before, but he is half certain that if they did, Dan Feng would at least have mentioned it to him before. Right?
But more importantly, there is a specific reason why he doesn't believe them to be one in the same.
It's the way they carry themselves. While Dan Feng has a quiet confidence in the way he presents himself, the one in his dreams reeks of defeat, resignation, hopelessness. They seem so far apart from each other, that he is convinced that there is no way they are connected. If they were, he does not even want to think about the implications-
So he is back at square one. He has no idea how Dan Feng is related to this, but he is almost certain that there has to be a reason why this is happening now of all times. As for what reason that is…He is going to have to wait and see.
~0o0~
“You seem pretty close with that newbie lately.”
Yingxing feels his eyes twitch slightly as one of the other secretaries of the office, Tingyun, walks towards his desk. He turns towards her, raising an eyebrow. Everyone's currently in the break room, so it's just the two of them here for now.
“Is he really a newbie at this point after working here for over a month?”
“Does it really matter? He's still our latest recruit.”
Yingxing rolls his eyes. “Cut to the chase. What do you really want from me?”
“I'm just curious, that's all! You two seem to get along really well, more than you have with others.”
“Well we have to work closely together for our work, remember? If we don't get along I'll be more concerned.” Yingxing taps a few keys on his keyboard, making sure he is inputting the correct sequence. “I'm not sure what else you want me to say Tingyun.”
She only smiles mysteriously. “Just indulge me if you will. I'm curious how exactly you two managed to grow so close in just a month. It can't be just because work requires it. Otherwise, you would just treat him just like you would everyone else here.” Fair point.
“Well…we do go out to grab a drink sometimes but-”
Uh oh. Her eyes gain a certain glint. He's said too much. “What kind of drinks?”
“Coffee. Nothing like what you are imagining.” He isn't lying. Really. He's just recently introduced Dan Feng to one of his go to coffee shops after learning that the other also has a fondness for it. And since then, they have been stopping by at the store occasionally for a cup before going back together. Because really, what is the point of going separate ways when your destination is literally the same? If they also chatted along the way and got to know each other more it is of no concern to the rest of them.
Her smile only grew larger. “You know, the annual New Year's party will be happening soon.”
“And?”
“It is a great opportunity for the newbie to make connections within the company. As well as get to know some of his other colleagues.” Right, he forgets sometimes that their company has several employees who only ever work from home. “Just saying, it would be good for him to come.” She winks at him. “And for you, as the one he is most comfortable with, to accompany him and introduce him to them.”
Somehow, he has a feeling that he is being set up for something. What exactly he is not sure, but that sly smile on her face doesn't make him feel any better about it. She clearly expects him to reply to it though and so he tries to come up with a response.
“I'll discuss it with him later.” He finally says after several seconds. She hums before turning around, leaving him with two envelopes.
“I look forward to seeing you both there.”
~0o0~
Over the past month they have gotten to know each other, it has become quite common for them to take the same bus back to their apartment block. They will often sit next to each other and chatter about anything they can think of, exchanging little tidbits of their lives with each other. It is there that he decides to ask the question that Tingyun wanted him to pass to Dan Feng.
“Mind if I ask something?” Yingxing speaks. Dan Feng nods, looking mildly intrigued. “So umm, I’m not sure if anyone else has told you about this, but our company holds several parties throughout the year to encourage networking and fostering connections. There is one coming up in a week for New Years.”
Dan Feng seems to be thinking deeply over it if his expressions are anything to go by. Several seconds pass before he opens his mouth to ask a question.
“Is it mandatory?”
“It's not.” Dan Feng hums in contemplation.
“Are you going?”
Does he want to go? While he has attended a few in the past, he hasn't been to one again recently. Not that he thinks there will be much changes from previous years. He's happy where he is now in terms of the hierarchy, so he finds no need to further his own connections. He's usually reluctant to be dragged into whatever drunken shenanigans his colleagues usually get up to during those events, hence why he often opts to stay home and relax. He could just skip this year's one again, there is nothing stopping him.
Yet for the first time in a long while, he finds himself considering attending.
“I’m…thinking about it.”
Dan Feng looks pensive. Eventually he nods and says. “I’ll go if you think it is good for me.”
Yingxing is slightly taken aback by Dan Feng’s trust in him. He feels really honoured that he believes in his opinion that much. A part of him feels a little flustered, but let's just ignore that.
“How about we both go? I can help introduce you to some people if you would like?”
“Sure.”
Yingxing is starting to think that Dan Feng is just going to surprise him with everything he does or says. He's caught off guard at how quickly the reply came and barely manages to reel in his shock, instead just rummaging through his bag to take out one of the envelopes to hand to Dan Feng.
“Here. It has the address and time on it. Just make sure to arrive about 15 minutes before and you should be fine.” He receives a nod. An awkward silence ensues as both of them seem hesitant to continue on. As the bus comes to a stop, they both exit and walk side by side back towards their apartment block devoid of their usual chatter.
It is only when they are about to go their separate ways at the elevator when Dan Feng breaks the silence, shyly asking.
“Can we…go together?”
Yingxing's brain comes to a halt. Huh? Is he saying what I think he is trying to say- Dan Feng must have seen a particular look on his face, as he puts his hands up and shakes his head.
“Not like that. I mean like…since we both live close, can we go there together? I'm not very familiar with the location.” He seems a little flustered and is he hallucinating or did he spot some red on his face?
He nods. Why does a part of him feel disappointed at that response? “Of course of course. I don't mind. What time do you want to meet up?”
“Hmm…maybe an hour before if that's okay with you?”
“That's fine by me. Still going to work tomorrow?”
“Yes. I have to sort through some documents before the holidays.”
“See you then.” Yingxing bids farewell to Dam Feng before heading towards his door.
After putting his things away and changing to a fresh set of clothes, Yingxing lies on his bed as he stares at the ceiling, quietly thinking over the events of today.
He's not sure how to feel about…his reactions today. Is he just being overprotective? He brings his mind back to analyse every interaction he has ever had with Dan Feng. No, it can't be that. Then what exactly?
The question haunts his mind throughout the evening and as he drifts off to sleep that night, the answer still eludes him.
~0o0~
He’s at the rooftop again.
Standing by the door, he gazes at the ethereal figure standing on the ledge. Dressed in casual attire
that is torn in certain places, their long black hair flows gently in the wind, humming a tune to an unseeing audience.He speaks and the figure turns around, mouth moving in incomprehensible patterns, their face too blurred for him to decipher
yet he could see their eyes, oh so blank and empty. Pale skinmarred with bruisesglowing in moonlight, their hand reaches out for a moment, before retracting and turning back to face the starless skies.Alarmed, he tries to move to reach out and then-
“Wait please!”
He wakes up in a start, panting as he tries to catch his breath. Strange. He's not sure what it is about the previous day that triggered it, but whatever it is the person in his dreams seems a bit more…clearer this time. Even clearer than it had been these past few weeks.
Hurriedly, he gets out of bed and takes out his sketches, determined to get it down on paper before his memory fades.
He adds those details into his sketches. The tears on their clothing, bruises on their body, and those blank eyes as they stand on a ledge...
As he looks at the more detailed sketch, and cannot help but gulp at the resulting image.
If he thought his previous sketches painted a rather bleak picture, it is nothing compared to how it looks now. There are shades of black footprints trailing up to the ledge. Their long hair was wild and unkempt. And those eyes… There is something hauntingly beautiful about this sketch, even with all the devastating implications. He can't help but wonder. Who are you? Where are you? He shakes his head, eyes gazing at the clock. 2am. He groans. Thankfully it is the weekend, but still! How is he going to sleep now?
He puts his tools away and begrudgingly slides back under the covers, closing his eyes. Yet no matter how hard he tries, that image of the mysterious person lingers in his mind and one question flashes across his mind as his exhausted body finally gives into slumber.
Why do you look like a younger Dan Feng?
~0o0~
Today's the day.
Yingxing pouts as Baiheng attacks his hair yet again with some hair gel. He had completely forgotten that his sister will definitely insist on helping him “prepare” for the party. So he had been taken by surprise when she appeared at his door several hours before with her supplies and her definitely just a friend Jingliu to assist her.
“Jie! Don't you think that's enough already?”
“Nope! Just a little bit more didi.”
Yingxing grumbles in defeat as she sprays a bit more on his hair tips. Stepping back, she admires her work.
“Now that looks better! What do you think, Jingliu?” She calls out to Jingliu, who is already dressed in a simple but elegant blue dress. Jingliu walks closer, inspecting him with a keen gaze.
“Mmm…you've certainly done a pretty good job…”
Whipped. Yingxing thinks it is so dumb that these two haven't gotten their act together yet. He looks at himself in the hand held mirror Baiheng offered him.
“Eh, I'm still not sure if this is all necessary.”
“Nonsense, you look absolutely dashing now.” Baiheng giggles. “Now go along. You're going to be late meeting with that friend of yours if you dally any longer.”
“And whose fault is that?” Yingxing huffs, sitting up and dusting off his pants. I'll go now then. See you later jie and Jingliu.”
Thankfully it seems like he is just on time, as he spots Dan Feng approaching from his end of the corridor. They enter the elevator and as it slowly heads down, there is a sort of stillness that surrounds the two of them.
“You look…nice.” Yingxing looks at Dan Feng, whose eyes are averted towards the ground. Yingxing clears his throat and returns the compliment.
“You look really great too.” Dan Feng lips curls slightly into a small smile. The elevator door opens. Yingxing holds out his hand. “Should we go now?”
Dan Feng smiles. “Yes.”
~0o0~
They arrived without much fanfare. It seems like everyone else is already here and mingling. Yingxing takes Dan Feng around to meet with some of their other co-workers that he hasn't met yet, helping out with introductions and generally having a fun time.
And that's what amazes him the most about today. He's actually having fun. It's not to say he hasn't done anything fun recently, but he hasn't experienced joy like this in a party for a long time. A party he voluntarily joined too. Maybe…doing this more often wouldn't be such a bad thing.
They separate for a while after about an hour. Yingxing goes to chat with some of his colleagues while Dan Feng decides to wander off for a bit. Nearing the turn of the midnight however, he decides to go and find him to watch the fireworks together. Oddly though, he cannot find him anywhere. He approaches Fu Xuan near the bartender who's ordering her second cocktail of the night.
“Fu Xuan, have you seen Dan Feng?”
“Oh him? I hear that he just retreated to the rooftops.”
The rooftop? Flashes of long black hair streak across his vision. He mentally shakes his head. Don't panic yet, Yingxing. Stay calm.
“Thanks for the info.”
“No problem. Happy New Year.”
Yingxing as discreetly as he can, weaves through the crowd making his way to the staircase. He skips steps up, trying and failing to contain the panic starting to bloom in his chest. It's probably nothing, but the parallels are doing nothing but making his heart beat faster and his leg move quicker.
He pants as he reaches the rooftop, smacking the door open, and sees a similar scene to the one that haunted his dreams for the past decade.
No, it can't be…
Visions of past and present collide in fractured shards. And for a moment, he sees the long haired beauty near the edge, staring out into the starless skies.
“Dan Feng!”
Unlike in his dreams however, the figure wasn't standing on the ledge, but merely behind it instead. This time, their clothes weren't torn and frayed on the edges, but new. Their eyes were once filled with an aching emptiness as they stared into his very soul, but now they are filled with a certain light as they turn around in surprise at the sound of his voice.
Yes, now he is certain of the identity of the mysterious person who had been haunting his dreams for so long.
It has been Dan Feng all along.
“Yingxing? Is something wrong?”
“You're…nothing.” Yingxing shakes his head, a smile on his face. “I just...want to come and find you, the fireworks are starting after all.”
“Oh…” Dan Feng nods. “Well, what do you think about this spot?"
“It's great! Oh look, here it comes!”
Flashes of colour radiate across the sky, lighting up the darkness. Yingxing is mesmerised by the explosion of beauty into different shapes. But more than that, he is suddenly aware of the beauty that is right next to him, gazing into the sky in awe.
“Happy New Year Yingxing.” Yingxing turns towards him, surprise glazing his face. Dan Feng only gives a dazzling smile that makes Yingxing feel warm. He grins and returns it.
Happy New Year Dan Feng.”
~0o0~
As the party comes to a close, Yingxing offers to walk Dan Feng home, pointedly ignoring the giggles from several of his colleagues. Dan Feng agrees and they set off.
Before they can part, however, Yingxing catches Dan Feng's hand and requests something that he has been wanting to ask since the moment on the rooftop.
“Do you mind if I show you something?”
Dan Feng's eyes widen. “Umm, sure?”
Yingxing gently tugs him to follow him to his apartment. Dan Feng stays mute, watching wordlessly as Yingxing opens the door and lets him inside. It is not until he sees the sketches on Yingxing’s desk that he finally breaks his silence.
“May I?” Yingxing nods and Dan Feng takes this chance to gently hold them. His hand lightly touches them, a look of awe and amazement on his face. It is probably the most amount of emotion he has ever seen from them.
“I…don't remember a lot of things from my childhood.” Yingxing starts, as Dan Feng’s head quickly turns to him, listening intently. “I got into an accident when I was younger, hence why my memory is blurred when it comes to matters of the past. But there is this one scene that would constantly replay in my mind almost every night. The details were always blurred. For a long time, I could only ever make out a silhouette. Until the day I met you.”
A sharp breath. Dan Feng's eyes seems strangely bright at that moment.
“I don't know what it is about you. But something changed that day. In the following weeks, the details grew sharper, more vivid. I could now make out smaller details,” he gestures to one of the later sketches, “but it still didn't make much sense to me.”
“At least, it didn't until tonight, when I saw you at the rooftop today.” A slight tremble. He feels something wet trail down his cheek. “That memory flashed before my eyes, and for a moment I thought it was going to happen again.”
Dan Feng puts a hand on his shoulder, and cautiously brings a hand up to wipe the tear away.
Yingxing freezes. The featherlight touch of Dan Feng's hand sends bolts of lightning through his body. He only breathes again when it leaves, yet deep inside he mourns for the loss of that touch.
Dan Feng looks down, averting his eyes away.
“I’m sorry for that.” He softly whispers. Yingxing shakes his head vehemently.
“It's not on you. I’m just glad you are okay now.” He pauses. “If you don't mind me asking…what happened then?”
“I…”
Dan Feng turns around, before speaking in a stiff voice.
“No one cared to reach out to me then, and do not blame them. My guardians were too important, too high up to be able to do anything about it. So I understand why nobody did anything. But…that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.” Yingxing wants so desperately to say something, anything to soothe him, but he holds it for now, sensing Dan Feng needs a moment to let it all out now.
“I don't remember entirely what it was about that day, but I had enough. I was tired of holding on and so I went there, hoping it would finally rid me of the pain.” His heart aches as he tries to imagine it in his head.
“No one was supposed to be there. I made sure to pick a day where I was 100% sure no guards would be there. But there you were.” Dan Feng laughs bitterly. “I wanted to curse you, for interrupting my plan. I was so sure that it would go off without a hitch, and then a random boy just comes along and tries to convince you to come down. I wanted to spite you, to jump off anyway, but a part of me can't help yearn for someone, anyone to listen. And so I did.”
Dan Feng turns around, tears trailing down his cheeks. “You saved my life that day.” He speaks softly. “And I will be forever grateful to you for it.”
“I know you probably do not remember much of it now, but those words you said that day, they are my reason for living to this day. Thank you.”
Yingxing is silent. He's…speechless, confused and…stunned. He has never thought that he could ever have such an impact on someone's life, and to such a degree. Dan Feng seems to be getting a bit uneasy from the silence and is about to run away when Yingxing envelops him in a hug. Now, it is Dan Feng's turn to freeze as he hesitantly wraps his own arms around Yingxing.
“I'm glad you are alive.” Yingxing whispers into Dan Feng's ear. “Because you are a great person, and if anyone dares to tell you the opposite, I will personally come and defend you.” A wet laugh escapes Dan Feng as he squeezes Yingxing more.
“I do not think that is necessary, but thanks for the offer.”
“Anyway, since we are here, want me to show you some of my other sketches? I got some other ones here that might be of your interest.”
Yingxing untangles himself from the hug and holds out his hand towards Dan Feng. He waits for a bit, but eventually, a smaller hand joins him with an accompanying soft smile. That is all the answer he needs.
As they flip through Yingxing's dozens upon dozens of sketches and designs, he can't help but hope that one day, they could be something more. There is something about this, the little moments they share with each other, that he leaves him wanting for more.
But for now, he will simply enjoy the coming days they will have with each other.