Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It wasn’t unusual for missions to drag on for far longer than they had originally been estimated to last. The original estimate was just that: an estimate. Sometimes they were off by a little and sometimes by a lot. Natasha was used to that. But it was one thing to have a supposedly eight-day mission turning into a month-plus-change mission, it was quite another thing for the trip home that should have taken seven hours to take three full days. First getting delayed by a scheduling conflict with her and Clint’s extraction, then by Clint insisting that they picked something up for Laura and the kids as an apology for the delay. Natasha couldn’t argue with that last bit, not when Clint thought all she had to go back to was an apartment, empty except for the cat that the neighbor was feeding while she was away.

He didn’t know any better, and that was on her. Natasha wasn’t ready for the conversation that would follow if she admitted she was living with James and their cats. Had been living with them for a while and seeing him for even longer. That she wasn’t going back to one of her safehouses or the quarters at the Avengers Tower that Tony insisted was her second home. That she was going home to the apartment she and James had bought together and filled with furniture for them and their cats. The only home she had ever known.

She wasn’t ready for that conversation yet, and that rarely bothered her. She was fine with keeping secrets; it was part of who she was. Except, this secret meant she couldn’t explain why getting home was so important to her.

The only thing that made the delay tolerable was the stream of pictures James sent her of the girls being “helpful” while he prepared dinner. It was adorable. Ridiculous, but adorable. Exactly what she needed while winding down after a prolonged mission.

With everything, up to and including a lengthy goodbye to Clint, Natasha arrived home a little after two in the morning. So, she took care to be quiet when she unlocked the door to their apartment to not wake up James, who had, presumably, gone to bed hours ago when he stopped answering her messages. Navigating their shared home in total darkness, she placed her boots next to his much larger ones and hung her coat on the coat rack with the rest of their jackets. It still gave her a sort of thrill seeing it. While they weren’t exactly open about their relationship, anyone entering the hallway would know that two people lived there. It felt like she was breaking rules, even if she hadn’t had to live under those rules in ages.

There was no light on in the rest of the apartment and no cats came to greet her. That supported the theory that James had already gone to bed, no doubt with the cats curled up in her spot on the bed.

Natasha was about to enter the bedroom when she noticed the dark shape on the couch. A shadow among shadows. A shadow breathing, slow and even. When she focused on it, the shape turned into James, asleep on the couch. Sprawled out on the couch was probably a better description. One leg hung off the couch, and a paperback lay on the floor, dropped by the hand dangling above it. The cats had absolutely no problem taking advantage of this. Liho was draped over the one foot that remained on the couch and Alpine had curled up by his shoulder, her face pressed into the side of his neck.

It made her want to take a picture, or at least memorize every little detail of it.

Back when she and James had started spending the night together, he’d woken up if she’d as much as thought of getting up. Now, she had entered the apartment with him asleep and he hadn’t as much as stirred. There was trust, and then there was trust.

Using every bit of her training, Natasha tiptoed over to him and tucked a loose lock of hair behind his ear.

He made a sound halfway between a happy sigh and a yawn, then blinked up at her. “Hey,” he said, a smile softening his features, and reached up for her, pulling her down onto the couch next to him.

“Sorry it took so long for me to get home.” She only just managed to not faceplant onto Alpine when James pulled her closer to bury his face in her hair.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re home now.” His breath was hot on her skin when he spoke, his arm heavy where it draped over her waist.

If she draped her legs over the one of his that half-hung over the edge of the couch, she could rest against his chest and still have a hand free to pet Alpine. There. Perfect. James’ sleep-warm body all but enfolded her, making her feel safe for the first time in over a month. “Missed you.”

“Missed you more.” He kissed the top of her head.

Natasha could probably have fallen asleep like that. She would no doubt have woken up with a stiff neck and a numb arm, but it would have been worth it for the relief it was to be back home. She could have. If her stomach hadn’t chosen that moment to growl in hunger.

James chuckled into her hair. “Lasagna or pancakes?” he asked.

Then it was her time to laugh. She knew he’d prepared lasagna from the pictures he’d sent her earlier, but it wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you ate at two in the morning. Pancakes on the other hand… It was closer to breakfast time than dinnertime. “Pancakes,” she said and sat up, smiling back when he sent her the most adorable smile.

He freed himself from the cats with a gentle hand, setting down Alpine next to Liho so the two could curl up together and go back to sleep if they wanted to. Liho ruined it by getting up and stretching before she hopped down and rubbed against her leg, blinking up at her when Natasha bent to pet her.

The three of them made their way to the kitchen, followed not half a minute later by a loudly mewing Alpine. The joys of pet ownership.

While James prepared to reheat the pancakes, Natasha fed the ravenous beasts. That should buy them at least two minutes without distractions. Set on using them wisely, she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist while he arranged the pancakes on two baking trays. He was so warm. It always surprised her whenever she’d been away from him for a while. Even his metal arm was warm to the touch these days. Another benefit of the upgrade. The heat radiated off him and she leaned her head against the wide expanse of his upper back to soak up every bit of it, feeling the smooth slide of muscles as he worked to pack a maximum number of pancakes onto the trays.

When he was done arranging the pancakes, he squeezed her hands lightly, indicating that she either needed to let go or accept to be shuffled around while he put the trays in the oven.

Letting go of him reluctantly, Natasha placed a kiss between his shoulder blades and went to fetch Nutella and berries and all the other things they needed. It didn’t take long for the pancakes to be done and soon they were seated by the small table in their kitchen, Liho curled up on Natasha’s lap and Alpine begging scraps off of James. Not that he noticed, he was too busy slathering Nutella onto his pancakes. Natasha bit the inside of her cheek to not laugh out loud and disturb the lovely tableau.

Perceptive as always, James noticed her attention anyway. He froze with the knife halfway between the jar of Nutella and his obscenely smothered pancakes and looked up at her. “You wanted some? It’s the American kind.”

She wrinkled her nose in mock-disgust, then said, “I’m just enjoying having actual breakfast food for breakfast even if it’s a bit early. Clint thinks leftover pizza can be eaten around the clock.”

“Cold pizza tastes great, though.”

“Not when you’re having it for breakfast three times a week and your partner likes to slather his with garlic.”

That made him snicker before he jammed a whole pancake into his mouth, somehow not getting covered in Nutella.

They ate slowly, enjoying every bite and every second of this. Even after all this time, meals like this seemed like a luxury. Just being together, enjoying each other’s company. Not having to do anything, or having to go anywhere. Natasha would need to go to the Tower for a debrief eventually, but right now it was just the two of them and the cats. So, they lingered over the food, savoring the food and the company. The edges of the pancakes were slightly crispy, while the rest of them tasted as if they had been freshly made. They were simply too good not to be savored.

James told her about the (mis)adventures the cats had been on while she had been away. About the book he’d found in a used bookstore, he’d discovered on one of his many morning runs with Steve. About everything and nothing. And never about work. Because this was their time and theirs alone. In turn, she told him about the shitty coffee she had endured while away, and about Clint’s hunt for last-minute gifts to take home for the kids and Laura.

“What did you get me, then?” he asked with a mischievous grin when she’d finished listing Clint’s haul.

“What do you mean, what did I get you? I’m home, isn’t that enough?” Natasha failed miserably at sounding the least bit sincere. Even with her training, that would have been an impossibility when faced with his smile.

“Always,” he said and reached out a hand.

She took it, weaved her fingers between his, and nudged Liho off her lap before getting up. James welcomed her with open arms when she sat in his lap, tucking her head into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Oh, how she had missed this. The smell of him; his mismatched arms around her; the slow, even beat of his heart; the easy rise and fall of his chest; his firm thighs under her. Just being surrounded by him. Enveloped.

“It’s getting light out.” His voice was a rumble in his chest, a breath wafting over her hair.

“Mm-hmm,” said Natasha, shifting her head so she could brush her lips over the delicate skin on his neck, trailing a line of kisses from his collarbone to the hinge of his jaw. “We should go to bed.”

Another rumble in his chest, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her, apparently content where he was since he didn’t move. She squirmed a little in his lap to get easier access to kissing him, then continued her kissing along the line of his jaw. His stubble had grown long enough to bend under her lips, but not long enough to be called a beard yet. When she reached the side of his mouth, James turned his head, transforming her closed lip pecks into a kiss, an open-mouthed one. He tasted sweet. Of Nutella and jam mixed with pancakes. Delicious. Wanting more of it, more of him, she deepened the kiss, making it deep and slow and filled with promises.

Kissing like that, Natasha lost track of time. The world narrowed to just the two of them, James’ lips on hers, the beating of his heart under her hands. When he finally broke it off, he didn’t go very far, resting his forehead against hers, his breath hot on her face.

“Welcome home.” He was too close for her to read him clearly, but his smile was evident in the tone of his voice.

She couldn’t help but smile back, sliding her arms onto his shoulders so she could tangle her fingers in his hair. It took little persuasion to make the hair tie holding his hair in a loose bun at the nape of his neck to let go. Sleeping on the couch with the cats had already partly dislodged it. With barely a nudge, the hair tie dropped into her hand and his hair flowed free, brushing over her hands like silk. Satisfied, she leaned back against the table behind her, making sure he could see what she wanted him to see when she partially unzipped her hoodie, leaving it open till around the bottom of her sternum.

His gaze dipped to her cleavage and got stuck there.

Natasha had put on the hoodie exactly for this reason. It was old and soft and comfortable; the zipper also made it very handy when revealing her new lingerie set.

James’ hand rose from where it had been resting on her thigh to trace the open zipper before it dipped inside. He touched the dark green fabric of the center gore with reverence she wasn’t sure it deserved. Especially since he hadn’t noticed the barely-there lace of the cups yet.

“You like it?” she asked. Then, when he didn’t answer, she continued, “You look like you like it.”

His face lit up. “I love it.” His smile was wide enough to make the skin around his eyes crinkle when he looked up at her. It distracted her so much that she didn’t read the subtle signs before he stood up, lifting her in bridal carry, startling a laugh out of her. He carried her to their bedroom as fast as his legs could carry them without tripping over a cat. When he got there, he sat down on the edge of the bed with her back in his lap, his hands heavy on her hips once he got them settled. Natasha had other plans, though. Sliding off him, she unzipped the hoodie all the way and discarded it. Then she untied her sweatpants and let them drop to the floor.

“Jesus, Natalia,” James said, his voice unsteady. His reaction would probably have been the same if she’d stripped naked or worn her oldest, rattiest black cotton underwear, but that didn’t make it any less fun to dress up for him. He was always so incredibly appreciative.

She turned around in a slow circle, letting him get a good look at the set. To call the set see-through would be the understatement of the year. Most of it consisted of gauzy lace, except the very top of the cups and panties which had dark green flowers with golden embroidery on them, and the crotch of the panties that was made from fat silk. Leaving, in other words, very little to the imagination.

James reached for her, his long fingers curling around her waist as he pulled her closer and closer until she stood nestled between his thighs. “You spoil me.” The tip of his index finger brushed over a nipple, feather light, but enough to have sparks racing along Natasha’s nerve endings. Reading her like an open book, he pulled her closer and nuzzled her breast, keeping his ever-attentive eyes locked on hers.

“Only—ah—what you deserve, lyubov moya,” she said, her sentence broken in two by his tongue flicking over an already pebbling nipple.

He grinned up at her, his smile vicious, then closed his lips around her nipple and she had to close her eyes against the sensation. He kept her steady with an arm around her waist, and she repaid him by weaving her fingers through his hair. It would never stop delighting her how well James knew her and how to bring her pleasure. How devoted he was to bring her pleasure. The care and tenderness he lavished on her. They had barely started and she could already feel heat pool between her legs. And, apparently, so could he. He slipped his hand between them and between her legs, stroking her through the flimsy fabric. Natasha shivered, unable to keep still under his touch. She could feel his lips curving into a smile, then she tightened her grip on his hair and pulled him away.

“My turn,” she proclaimed.

“Hey—” he protested, but he let his hands drop from her when she took a step back. His tee, jeans, and boxer briefs were dealt with in no time between the two of them, and then she could kneel between his legs. “I wasn’t done, y’know,” James said, making no move to follow up on his words.

“Later, darling.” Natasha kissed the inside of his knee just to watch him squirm. With, perhaps, unfair slowness, she kissed her way up his inner thigh, inch by slow inch. He was biting his bottom lip when she finally reached the apex of his thighs, and she nudged his cock with her nose, drawing in the smell of him. Soap from a shower not long in the past and clean skin. It twitched in response, and she looked up, making sure he saw her smile before she licked the length of him. He gripped the edge of the bed and, for once, managed not to rip through the sheet covering it. Well, for now, at least. Only time would tell if he could keep it up. Licking her lips, she kissed the head of his cock, then wrapped her lips around it, swallowing the lovely length of his cock down.

The gasp that escaped James sounded like it was torn from him. It was a delightful sound, so she swallowed around him to hear it again.

It was a game of sorts—a test to see how long he could keep still while she worked him over—and Natasha didn’t intend to go easy on him. She knew him, knew his body as intimately as her own. She knew when to keep a steady rhythm and when to slow down to prolong his pleasure. And she loved doing this, loved giving him pleasure. Making him feel good made her feel good. There was no other way to describe it.

So she took her time, keeping her hands resting on his thighs so she could feel the minute twitches as he fought for control. There was a good chance he wouldn’t let her make him come with just her mouth, so she slowed down whenever his grip on the edge of the bed got too tight or his breathing came in gasps. Not keeping him on the edge, but not far from it, either.

James was looking more at her than usual, fighting to keep his eyes open whenever she glanced up at him. No doubt, because of the new lingerie set. And she gave him glimpses of it every so often while she gave him as much pleasure as she could with her mouth alone. If she hadn’t been on her knees in front of him, Natasha might have let him see her touch herself while she blew him. She was more than ready for it. But as it was, she liked this better. Preferred to focus on the taste of him, the soft skin and hot weight of his cock, the relentless twitching of his heavy thighs on either side of her.

He was getting close…

Proving her suspicion, Natasha felt the briefest brush against her hair before James’ hand landed on it. The softest of soft touches. Wanting to guide her movements, but not willing to interrupt her rhythm. Grinning, she swallowed him down. His entire body stiffened as he fought not to move. Sweet man.

“Natalia.” He sounded apologetic. As if he was ruining her fun and not his own.

She allowed herself another kiss to the tip of his cock before she relented, leaning back on her haunches. “I wasn’t done,” she said, repeating his words back at him.

His answering smile was brilliantly boyish and one hundred percent fake. Pulling her up to sit on his thighs, James said, “You went through all that trouble to get this set.” He stroked the back of his fingers over the fabric of her new bra to prove his point, blinking innocently at her when he brushed over an already overly sensitive nipple. “I should really like to appreciate it more.”

Pretending to shift for a better seat, Natasha nudged his cock with her hip in retaliation. “Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”

That damn smile again. “Sit on my face?”

It took all her self-control not to laugh. “James, sweetheart, you can’t see it if I’m sitting on your face.”

“I can see enough.” Said with utter confidence. Sweet and absolutely ridiculous man.

Natasha pretended to deliberate, though they both knew the outcome of her deliberation. When his tongue slipped out to lick over his lips in anticipation, she finally said, “If you’re sure.”

“Always.” His grin turned wolfish, and Natasha had no choice but to kiss it off him. He returned the kiss eagerly, draping an arm around her shoulders to pull her impossibly closer. His lips were soft and the stubble yielded easily under her hands when she cupped the sides of his face, but his kisses were anything but soft. They spoke of hunger, of longing, and she answered them with equal hunger.

When she finally broke the kiss, she leaned her forehead against his, breathing in their shared breath air, not willing to let go of the closeness just yet. “I love you,” she told James because it had been far too long since the last time she had said it to him in person.

“I love you,” he returned, and she would never tire of hearing those words from him.

Natasha almost protested when he stood, lifting her with him. But he sat her down on the bed before he crawled onto it, all the way to the head of the bed, and moved the pillows out of the way. Sweet man. Giving her something to hold on to and no pillows to potentially skid on. Only when he was satisfied with the arrangement did he settle down. What a sight he made. Long, strong limbs sprawled on their wide bed, lips wet and parted in anticipation. And who was she to make him wait? Well…

Crawling up his body made her change her mind, at least for a little while. When she reached his hips, she paused and settled herself onto him. The flimsy silk of her new panties did little to dull the feeling of his cock as it presses against her. Oh, how good he felt against her. She rolled her hips against him, watching as James sucked his bottom lip into his mouth to bite it. Maybe she should continue crawling up his body like he’d said he wanted her to, but this was too good to pass up. Rolling her hips like she was riding him and not just grinding against him, Natasha took his hands and put them on her hip. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ride you like this?”

He damn near whined and let his head drop onto the bed. “Can’t a guy get a chance to make his best girl happy first?”

“Oh, you’ve already made me very happy.”

“Not happy enough since you’re still teasing me.” James frowned, failing miserably at looking the slightest bit annoyed. “Get up here, will ya?”

“Impatient,” Natasha said, rolling her hips once more before she lifted off him and crawled up along his body. She knelt above his head, careful not to kneel on his hair, and let him guide her hips into a position that allowed him full access without smothering him.

His breath was warm on her skin. Resting her hands on the headboard, she looked down. His lower face was obscured by her body, but she didn’t need to see his mouth to know that he was smiling. Fine lines surrounded a pair of blue eyes that glinted up at her, filled with mischief. It became clear that she was taking too long to settle when he wrapped his arms around her thighs, pulling her closer. Soft as his stubble was, it tickled when he kissed the inside of her thigh. He nudged her with his nose, no doubt in retaliation for her earlier teasing, then licked a strip over her. She shivered. Muted by the fabric as it was, it was still enough to send sparks along her nerve endings.

“God, I’ve missed your taste.” James moved a hand away from her thigh to hook a finger into her panties and pull them aside. “Dreamt about doing this for weeks.” His voice was deep, no doubt to wind her up further. And damn the man, it worked. Hot breath wafted over her sensitive skin, driving her mad, and then finally he licked over her folds, making her shiver.

Natasha didn’t doubt his words. Sometimes she suspected he got as much out of eating her out as she did. If not more. He dragged his tongue over her, firmly, his tongue flat and wide, once, twice, then finally dipped inside her. A groan emanated from him, almost loud enough to drown out her gasp of delight. It made her a little dizzy how into it he always was. Splayed out underneath her, unable to see anything but her. He was so strong, so capable, and he gave himself over to her at any opportunity.

Amazing, really.

She was wet already, aching for his touch, and he didn’t hesitate to give her what she wanted. His tongue flicked over her clit, and she shuddered. He did it again and again, kept going till she was gasping for breath. Then he pulled back a little, suckling, lapping at her. Driving her mad. Natasha liked it best that way whenever they had the time to really enjoy each other’s company. Let the orgasm build in stages rather than a straight line. It made it that much sweeter when it finally crashed over her. And James knew that. Knew how long to tease, how long to get her worked up. Never made her wait for it.

His hands grew restless on her thighs, endlessly flexing and tightening. Getting as worked up as she was. Well, she could help him with that, even if her choices for touching him were rather limited. She shifted her weight to free one arm and a glint of blue appeared as he opened his eyes a slit to see what she was up to. Hair was sticking to his damp forehead, so she brushed it away, tracing the line of his brow.

“I love you, James,” she said, trailing her hand from his face to her thigh, interlacing her fingers with his. Pale skin bracketed by dark metal. “Always so eager.” Squeezing his fingers, Natasha let hers drift further up her body to cup her breast, feeling the weight of it before she pinched her nipple. “Ah, always so eager to make me come.”

James made a desperate sound, somewhere between a groan and a curse. Clutching her hard enough to leave bruises if she was lucky, he licked into her, hungry and messy and perfect.

“Make me come, dorogoi.” It was somewhere between a plea and an order, and he didn’t need her to tell him twice.

He shifted his attention to her clit, sucking at it, flicking the firm tip of his tongue over it. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Could barely keep her eyes open. Couldn’t do anything but rock helplessly against him, riding his face and the building pleasure. Reaching down, Natasha weaved her fingers into his hair, clutching at it to keep herself grounded. He moaned against her, the vibration traveling up her body. And that did it. She was coming, the orgasm rippling through her with trails of fire along her nerves.

“James.” Her voice was broken, desperate, as were her movements. Rolling her hips, grinding against his face while she came.

His answering groans only spurred her orgasm on. He kissed her through wave after wave of pleasure until she couldn’t stand his touch anymore. She lifted off him unsteadily, nearly falling on her ass as she fought to lie down next to him. She might as well have made of jelly.

James rolled onto his side, propped up on his elbow, and splayed his left hand on her solar plexus while she gasped for air. Pleased and possessive. His face was wet with her slick. Messy with it. She dug around blind in the nearest nightstand for the hand towels they had there for nights like this. But while he took the towel from her, he didn’t use it at first. Instead, he licked his lips, keeping his eyes locked on Natasha’s as he did so, as if he hadn’t gotten enough of her taste while eating her out. Then, and only then, did he use the hand towel to clean the rest of his face.

It was all she could do not to pull him closer and kiss that self-satisfied smile off his face.

The mattress dipped as he positioned himself between her legs, a hand on either side of her taking his weight. He looked gorgeous. The streetlight filtered through their curtains and glinted off his left arm and the drops of sweat that had collected on his chest.

He pushed into her slowly, gently. Pushing in a bit before pulling almost all the way out, then a bit further in the next time he entered her. Inch by excruciating inch, he fucked her open. Natasha might have lost her patience, wrapped her legs around him, and pushed him all the way inside, if not for the way James looked at her. His lips were parted, eyes- half closed but ever so carefully watching her, cheeks flushed; his rapt expression made her shiver. He was tormenting himself as much as he was her. When he was as deep as he could go, his cock seated all the way inside her, he stopped moving, his eyes falling closed.

If it was any other day, Natasha might have teased him. Squeezed inner muscles around him to test his self-control. But they had waited for this far too long. Unlike her, he hadn’t got a release for pent-up desire yet. So, instead of teasing him, she lifted a hand to push back the curtain of dark hair that hung around his lovely face, tucking it behind an ear. He pressed the side of his face against her hand when she was done, still not opening his eyes.

“You feel so good.” His voice was low and rough and so very needy.

“So do you.” A thought struck her, and she added, “So good inside me.” She slipped a hand between them, brushing her fingertips over the base of James’ cock where it disappeared inside her.

The helpless jerk of his hips nearly squashed her fingers, but Natasha didn’t mind. She preferred him like this, all worked up and desperate. The flush on his cheeks had spread to his chest, and he was heaving for breath from restraining himself and oh, how she loved him. Loved him even when he had that self-satisfied grin on his face.

Tightening her legs around him, she said, “Don’t wait. I want to see you come.”

“Not alone.” James dipped his head and licked over a nipple, grazing it ever so gently with his teeth.

“Ne-never alone.” The word was broken in two when he sucked at her nipple, so hard it didn’t matter that she was wearing a bra. “Then I wanna ride you.”

He raised his head and grinned at her. Then he shifted his weight over to his left arm and slipped his now free right hand between them. His thumb found her clit at the same time as he changed his pace. Pulling out nearly all the way to thrust inside so hard it jolted her. It was on the right side of too much and so, so amazing.

Just like he was.

He fucked her like that, hard and relentless, chasing both of their releases with an intensity that left her speechless. Slow at first, then faster and faster. She would be sore in the morning, but right now, this was perfect. Better than perfect. The tight coil at the pit of Natasha’s stomach tightened so much it was almost painful, that her moans turned to sobs. Her fingers scrambled to hold on to his back, and she was pretty sure she drew blood. And he kept going. Thrusting into her at a punishing pace. Her skin was too tight and she couldn’t breathe. The last thing she heard before the orgasm crashed over her, was her name, falling from James’ lips like a prayer. Then she was gone with it. Pleasure blanked out her mind while she fell apart underneath him, with him pulsing inside her.

Reality came back in drips, timed with the frantic beating of their hearts, James’ harsh breath by her ear. He had kept himself from fully collapsing on top of her, keeping some of his weight on his elbows. But she was left with enough of him pressing her down into the mattress to feel cocooned by him. A solid wall of heavy muscles and metal keeping her safe. Safer than any other place in the universe.

“Natalia,” he said, lifting his head from the crook of her neck where it had been nestled. Kissing her ever so gently. “I love you.”

Natasha could taste herself on his lips, smell herself on his breath. It made her head spin a little. As a distraction, she pushed his hair back and gathered it in a loose bun at the nape of his neck. “Hi,” she said, smiling up at him. “That was a nice welcome home.”

James bit his bottom lip. It was still red from kissing her. “You make it sound as if I’m done welcoming you home.”

Right, she had promises to keep. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she flipped them. She probably wouldn’t have been able to do it in her present state if he wasn’t as out of it as she was. As it was, he dropped inelegantly on the mattress, making the bed creak. Natasha settled easily on his lap with her legs bracketing his hips. His cock had slipped out of her while she flipped them, but that was okay. She loved taking him. Loved that breathless stretch when he filled her up after she’d been without him for any length of time.

“We’re far from done.” She ran her fingers down James’ chest. “I hope you don’t have plans for tomorrow.”

He grinned and set his hands on her hips. “Sam has a thing at the VA he wants me to be there for. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Let’s see about that,” said Natasha and bent to kiss him breathless.

Chapter Text

It might seem old-fashioned, but nothing could ever beat a straight razor for shaving. At least not in Bucky’s opinion. Nothing got him as clean a shave as a straight razor. Usually, what he really liked about it was the way it demanded his complete focus. Usually. Right now, with Natalia taking a long and relaxing shower behind him, his current lack of focus had earned him three nicks. He was a fast healer, but this was getting ridiculous.

He was trying to get the few hairs just below the line of his jaw when Natalia sighed. A pleased sigh, not unlike the ones he’d drawn from her last night. Bucky’s eyes drifted from the mirror to the shower stall behind him. The glass walls and door had gone foggy from steam, but he could see the shape of her body as she tipped her head back out of the water to rinse off her neck and chest. Her red hair flowed like a waterfall over her back, down—

The straight razor bit into his skin, and he yelped.

“James?” She had opened the shower door and stood in all her glory, hair slicked back and trailing down her neck and shoulders, skin dripping wet. Bruises dotted her hips, dark blue circles that had turned yellow at the edges, courtesy of her own enhanced healing.

He’d had to be careful when they’d been together at the Red Room. They both had. The risk of discovery had been too great to leave any kind of mark on each other. They’d have to hold back and keep quiet whenever they caught a moment with just the two of them. These days, not so much. The first time Bucky had bruised her by accident during sex, Natalia had made it very clear to him how much she liked it. And to be fair, he really liked it when she marked him up with her nails. Gave him a little piece of her he could take with him when they weren’t together.

But he was getting sidetracked. A question. She’d asked him a question.

“Cut myself shaving,” he said, as if that wasn’t obvious from the nicks dotting his skin and turned to face her.

She frowned briefly as she studied him, then her eyes dipped to his pajama bottoms. They were his nicest pair, the one she’d got for him for his birthday because she’d gotten fed up with his worn-out sweats. They were made of a thinner fabric than his old sweats and, well, now that he looked down too, revealed a rather significant clue as to what or rather who had distracted him.

“You’re welcome to join me.” She took a step back into the shower, leaving the door open for him to follow.

She didn’t need to say that twice. Abandoning the razor next to the sink, Bucky untied and kicked off his pajama before getting into the shower with her.

The water was hot, hotter than he preferred, but it didn’t matter because Natalia’s hands were traveling up his chest as she stepped closer to him, her smile the very picture of mischief. Wrapping his arms around her, he lowered his head and kissed her. Small kisses at first, just enjoying their closeness and the heat of the water seeping through his skin and into his bones. Then urging her to open her mouth and tasting toothpaste on her tongue. Kissing her till he could feel her breathing picking up like his and then kissing her some more just for the joy of it. Didn’t stop till they were both breathing hard.

“Look at the state of you. Didn’t you have plans to go run with Steve?” She pushed her body firmer against him. All soft curves and slick skin. Intoxicating.

“Might need some help getting ready.” Bucky aimed for charmingly innocent, but probably missed by a mile since all his blood had migrated to his cock from the feel of it.

“Hmm, maybe.” Even Natalia’s breathing seemed aimed at getting him more wound up. Her lovely tits pressing against him made him very aware of the hard peaks her nipples had turned into. She nipped at the line of his jaw, avoiding the cut he’d managed to give himself, and making him tip his head back so she could move on to covering his neck with kisses. When she reached the soft skin at the base of his neck, she sucked at it. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough for a delicious sting.

He groaned and slid his hands up her sides, only for her to remove his hands when they cupped the underside of her breasts.

“I’m helping you with your—” she rolled her hips against him “—problem. Not the other way around.”

Bucky sighed but let his hands fall down to clutch at her hips again. He knew better than to argue when Natalia got like this. Besides, it wasn’t as if he didn’t enjoy being the subject of her very focused attention. Trusting her had never once been a mistake. In bed or out of it.

“There. Now where was I.” She reached between them and curled her slim fingers around his cock.

“Jesus.” His hip jerked helplessly, and she moved with him, rubbing the pad of her thumb over the head of his cock, making his breathing hitch. With the shower running, the touch was nearly frictionless, and she took full advantage of it, twisting her hand around the head in a loose grip. Bucky leaned his back against the cool tiles behind him, surrendering to her touch. Not needing any further prompting, her lips found his collarbone, then her teeth as she scraped them over it. All the while she stroked his cock, slowly and purposefully, apparently intending to drive him mad.

“How much time do we have?” Natalia’s breath was hot on the side of his neck when she spoke.

It took him a moment or two to realize she was probably waiting for his answer. A moment more to recall what her question had been. “Uh, maybe ten minutes. Need to leave in fifteen to get there in time.”

She made a displeased sound. “Too bad. I had hoped to make you beg for it.” Running her free hand up his chest, she ran the tips of her fingers over his nipple, sending jolts of electricity through his veins.

“Believe me, I’m already there.”

Her pleased chuckle made him shudder. Bucky knew all too well how much Natalia liked prolonging his pleasure and he always did his best to pay her back. Right now, it was all he could do to keep his hands on her hip while she stroked him, twisting her hand around the head of his cock on every upward stroke.

His world narrowed to just the two of them in the shower. The world outside was drowned out by the sound of water hitting skin and tiles, the sound of his own harsh breathing. What was left was Natalia’s deft hands working him over, her mouth on his skin. They might not have a lot of time, but that didn’t mean she rushed it either. Her strokes were steady, driving him on and on at a measured pace.

He felt suspended. Lost in the sensations. This felt amazing. She felt amazing.

Bucky didn’t know when he started fucking into her hand at every downward stroke. Only noticed it when he heard her dark chuckle.

Her smile was teasing. “Keen,” she said and nodded down at his pumping hips.

“When it’s you? Always.” His voice was rough with desire.

The sound she made was choked off, then she pushed against him hard, speeding her strokes to a pace that would take him apart in minutes if not seconds. Firm and unrelenting.

After the last few days of celebrating having Natalia back home again, he should have been more than satisfied. He’d thought he’d been completely spent. Yet she made him feel like he hadn’t had sex in a week. Feel needy to the point of stupidity. His nerve endings were on fire, his balls felt so tight and heavy he might burst any second now. Didn’t dare open his eyes. The sight of her lovely breasts pressed up against him might set him off if he did. Her clever fingers stroked him continuously, mercilessly. Hard and fast now. Bucky couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe—

God—

“Natalia.” There was a whine in his voice, and he didn’t care. Not when it was her hearing it. “Please.”

Her mouth found his, her kiss warm and demanding, and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He spilled himself into her hand, onto both of their stomachs. Making a mess. Shuddering as the orgasm ripped through him, blinding him.

“Fuck.” Bucky leaned his head against hers, his body boneless, heavy. He’d probably have collapsed if it wasn’t for her warm body in front of him and the cool wall behind him.

Her answering laughter was more felt than heard. Drowned out by the pounding of his pulse in his ears. Then she said, “You’re welcome,” and then he laughed, too.

He didn’t mean to let his hand slip from Natalia’s hip to between her thighs. It was just too tempting. He’d only meant to caress her a bit, tease her, but when he cupped her, he could feel how swollen she was already. And, fuck, when he pressed with his middle finger ever so slightly, she opened up for him. Easy as anything. God. He crooked his fingers, running the pads of his index and middle fingers on either side of her clit, swallowing her gasp when it escaped her.

According to his internal clock, Bucky had six, maybe seven minutes to get dry, dressed, and leave. Any later than that and Steve might give up waiting outside the building where Bucky’s old safehouse was and enter it. He might even realize that Bucky hadn’t lived there for months. Bucky knew that and he didn’t give a shit. He’d have to deal with that later. Natalia’s hot cunt under his fingers was more important than any of that. Her hot breath against the cook of his neck. Yeah, this was definitely worth the risk of Steve losing his patience and going looking for him.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish.” Natalia’s voice was breathy and God, he couldn’t wait to make her breathless.

“Who said I wouldn’t finish?” One step forward, two, and he had her pressed up against the wall, giving her something to lean against as he rubbed a metal thumb over her nipple, enjoying the weight of her breast in his hand.

“The time? Your deadline for meeting up with Steve?” Despite her words, she rolled her hips against his hand as he continued to rub along the sides of her clit.

“Fuck ‘im. He can wait.” Bucky dropped to his knees in front of Natalia, nudging the inside of her knee with the back of his hand to get her to spread her legs a little. Fuck, he could smell her arousal even through the lingering scent of her shampoo. “And you thought I was too turned on to go out in public.”

“Wasn’t then. I like making you feel good.”

He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. If he hadn’t spent himself so recently, those words and the bottomless hunger in her eyes would have made him hard in seconds. Bucky grinned, making it as vicious as he could for her enjoyment, then said, “Then you’re gonna get a real kick out of how good it makes me feel to eat you out.”

Her unsteady laughter was cut off when he buried his face between her thighs. Her silky folds parted so beautifully for him when he dragged his tongue over her, tasting her. The water diluted the tang of her arousal, but thankfully didn’t remove it. God, it was intoxicating. It made him a little dizzy to think about how she’d gotten this worked up just by jerking him off. Whatever he’d done to deserve to have Natalia in his life, he’d spent the rest of it making sure he kept deserving it. Deserving her.

If they hadn’t been in the shower, he’d have made her drape one of her legs over his shoulder to get better access. Right now, Bucky didn’t wanna risk her losing her footing on the wet tiles, so he made do by slipping a hand between her thighs to tuck two fingers inside her, one after the other. Flexing them to feel her hot insides tighten around him, then slowly began to fuck her with them while he sucked and licked to his heart’s content.

He was drunk with it. The taste of her, the twitches of her hips, her hitched breath, and beneath it all, the fast and steady beat of her heart.

The only downside to their current position was his lack of a view. When he tilted his head to look up at her, she tightened the grip she had on his shoulder. He grinned and obeyed Natalia’s silent wish, keeping his face buried against her lovely cunt. She rewarded him by rocking her hips towards him, soft, slick flesh sliding smoothly against his face. He changed up his pace and sucked rhythmically at her clit, the way she loved best, the way he knew would make her come in seconds when she was worked up like this. Her breath came in bursts, her thighs trembled on either side of him. Yeah, that was more like it. Bucky spread his fingers inside her and her next breath came out as a cry. Then Natalia was contracting around his fingers, her hips bucking helplessly against him as her orgasm shook her.

Bucky licked her through the aftershocks. Kept licking up into her until she pulled away from his touch, then he sat back, letting her slide down the wall to sit on his lap. She was warm and pliant and lovely.

“God, you’re amazing,” he murmured into her wet hair.

Laughter spilled out of her, and she pulled back to look at him, her eyes sparkling. “You’re pretty amazing, too.” She leaned forward to kiss him, but stopped halfway, then said, “You’re also late.”

“Eh, worth it,” he said and stood, pulling her up with him. Grabbing the nearest bottle of shampoo, Bucky quickly washed off the remaining evidence. It wasn’t till he’d already slathered some of it on him he noticed it was Natalia’s shampoo. Oh well, he’d just have to wear extra aftershave to cover it.

And remember to send a text to Steve telling him he was late. He could come up with an excuse on his way there.

***

“You’re late,” said Captain Obvious when he spotted Bucky nearly fourteen minutes late outside Bucky’s old safehouse.

Technically, it was still his. He just didn’t live in it anymore. Coming up with an explanation for why he met Steve on the street instead of coming out of the building had taken some creative thinking, mostly on Natalia’s part since it had been her suggestion to stop for coffee on his way. He waved the now empty coffee cup and threw it in a nearby trash can. “Do you know how far I had to go to find a coffee shop that wasn’t Starbucks?”

Steve frowned once Bucky reached him, giving him a visual once-over. “Rough night? You look like you haven’t slept.”

Suppressing a grin, he shrugged. It hadn’t been nightmares that had kept him awake. Far from it. “I’ve had worse.” He started to jog, but slowed to a halt when Steve didn’t follow. “We’re wasting daylight here, Cap’.”

“You know you can talk to me about the nightmares, right? About anything, really. I can keep a secret.” He sounded so sincere. So painfully honest.

A silent voice that sounded a lot like Natalia’s whispered, ‘He knows’, in the back of Bucky’s head. Ridiculous thought. He and Natalia had been so careful. Never arrived or left at the same time. Never interacted much when they were with the others. Didn’t even usually share shampoo so Steve’s Super Soldier Serum wouldn’t help him sniff them out. Rolling his eyes at himself and Steve both, Bucky said, “There’s nothing to talk about. Just got a new book that I couldn’t put down.”

“Yeah? What is it about?” Stubborn asshole that he was.

“You wouldn’t like it. It’s not a biography of some asshole who died years ago.” He clapped his hands and started jogging backward, away from Steve, forcing him to follow or be left behind.

Apparently deciding to follow, Steve pressed on when he caught up. “Try me.”

“Lord of the Rings,” was, for whatever reason, the first thing out of Bucky’s mouth. He regretted it instantly, glad that Steve couldn’t see his face now that they were both running facing forward.

“The Lord of the Rings isn’t new, Buck.”

“It’s new to me. Only read The Hobbit before.” Piling lies on top of lies. He’d read a few chapters of the first one years ago and could barely remember anything from it. It had been far too slow and far too concerned with a party that, frankly, sounded like a nightmare for everyone involved. Anyway, The Hobbit had been far better, even if it was a book for kids.

Steve didn’t answer. And he continued not to answer for long enough that Bucky checked to see if he was okay. All he got was a blank wall of focused Super Soldier.

“C’mon. I’m sorry I was late, but it’s not the end of the world,” Bucky said after enduring a Disappointed Captain America silence for long enough for them to reach Grand Army Plaza at the top of Prospect Park.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

Silence was the only answer. Prospect Park was nearly empty this early in the day and it seemed to make the silence between them louder.

“Trouble at home?” Bucky tried when the silence had grated enough on his nerves. This had started out as a good day, he wasn’t gonna let that passive-aggressive asshole ruin it.

“Sharon and I are doing just fine.” A beat, then, “But now that you mention it, she did suggest we go out on a double date. That brunette at the VA seemed to be into you.” Now he was just being vindictive. This was payback for all the double dates Bucky had forced on him back before the war. It had to be.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Tryin’ to set me up. That poor girl isn’t interested in someone like me. C’mon.” He glanced at Steve, but he’d donned his stoic Captain America expression, making it impossible for Bucky to get a read on him. Well, he wasn’t the one who could play the guilt game. “Just because she’s working with vets doesn’t mean she wanna date an amputee who has nightmares every other night.”

“Then find someone who wants that.”

“I’m fine with not dating. It’s not the end of the world not to get laid regularly,” Bucky said, lying his ass off.

“One double date, that’s all I’m asking for, Buck. You put me through more than my fair share before the war.”

Bucky skidded to a halt in the middle of the running lane. “I knew it! I fucking knew it. You’re paying me back for those double dates I took you on back then.”

Stopping and turning back to face him, Steve said, “I just want you to be happy.” And that was an indisputable fact. Just as indisputable was the fact that he was wearing his most sincere Captain America expression and he only used that when he was speaking to the press or messing with someone. That self-righteous motherfucker. It wasn’t as if it hadn’t been fun dates. Bucky had taken them to all kinds of places. With all kinds of ladies. Some of them had seemed to warm up to Steve after Bucky had talked him up. Okay, none of them had wanted to go out on a second date, but that didn’t mean—

Fuck.

Fuck it.

“One date,” said Bucky, holding up his index finger. “One.”

“That’s all I ask for.” His smile looked like a toothpaste ad.

“Uh-huh.” Bucky started running again so he didn’t have to look at Steve’s gloating face. Anyway, he could ask Wanda out. She was a sweet kid and reminded him of Becca. And she liked him well enough that he could ask her to go on a pretend date to get Steve off his back.

“Her name’s Jasmin,” Mr. Oh-So-Helpful said.

“What?”

“The brunette at the VA.” Would he ever let up? It didn’t seem likely.

“Awesome. I’m still not asking her out.”

“You could ask Nat. I don’t think she’s seeing anyone these days.”

It was pure dumb luck that Bucky didn’t fall on his ass laughing. All he could get out was, “Why?” He didn’t dare to look at Steve for fear that he would start laughing.

“You’ve always liked redheads. And she has a cat.”

“Yeah, that’s what I go for. Hair color and pet ownership.”

“What about Darcy, Jane’s friend? She’s cute.”

She was, but she was also shit at keeping a secret and there was no way Bucky would go on a fake date without telling the girl about it. Would be rude to get her hopes up if she was willing to give someone with his history a chance or make it easier to talk her into it if she wasn’t. “I can get a damn date on my own, Rogers.”

“I’m just trying to help.” He wasn’t. He was trying to be a pain in the ass and succeeding at it far more than Bucky was willing to admit to him.

“No, you’re not.”

Steve didn’t answer, only shrugged when Bucky shot him a glare. The closest he’d come to an honest answer all morning.

Maybe Bucky should get Natalia to go on the double date with him. She wouldn’t need prompting to keep their secret and she could lie better than anyone Bucky knew. They’d need to come up with some reason for why it didn’t work out, but that couldn’t be too hard. They were both busy people with more than their share of baggage. He’d ask her when he got home tonight. She might have a better idea. They’d come up with something together to get Steve to mind his own business.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t that Natasha disliked the impromptu get-togethers after a successful mission. They gave her time to check up on the team, to make sure that everyone was okay. It was just that they’d had plans, her and James. Plans that got interrupted by yet another alien invasion and further delayed by the current get-together after dealing with said invasion. Everyone was happy, and everyone deserved to be happy about how seamlessly the Avengers had worked together. Steve and Tony had barely bickered, and Wanda had had a chance to try out the new hand-to-hand combat moves Natasha had taught her. In all, it had been a success.

Had it been any other night, Natasha might have enjoyed herself, might even have relaxed. Except for the fact that a few hours into this thing, she could tell James was done being people-y for the day. And that was hours ago. Well-meaning friends who didn’t spot the tightness in the skin around his eyes had thwarted his attempts to excuse several times. Or the rigid set of his shoulders when he thought no one was watching.

James was very good at hiding his feelings. It didn’t always work to his advantage.

So Natasha decided to do some groundwork for him. She yawned in front of the Parker kid because he was a high school student with a part-time job as a superhero and thus permanently sleep-deprived. Once she got him going, she moved on to Wanda since she’d once gotten her to yawn just by saying the word a few times. The downside to this was that while Wanda’s world-spanning empathy meant she started yawning a second after Natasha did, it also made her suspicious.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asked between yawns.

There was no point in pretending not to know what she was talking about. Answering with a half-truth was her only option. “Trying not to be the first one to leave?” Innocence radiated off of her.

Wanda’s chuckle turned into a yawn, then she stretched and yawned loudly enough to turn a few heads. “Happy?” she whispered in Natasha’s ear as she hugged her goodnight.

“Very,” Natasha whispered as she hugged her back, before releasing Wanda to let her say goodnight to everyone.

That seemed to get the ball rolling. Parker had curled up in an armchair and Pepper was scolding Tony for keeping him up this late on a school night. Sam stretched and eyed the door as Wanda left. Maria, who never, ever yawned in public, tightened her jaw as she swallowed a yawn. It had been a long day for everyone. Half a minute after Parker had been ushered off with Happy to drive him home, Natasha started saying goodnight to everyone, ending with Steve and James.

“Leaving already, Romanoff?” A grin wide enough for a toothpaste commercial covered Steve’s face.

“Some of us don’t have serum-enhanced bodies and actually need regular sleep, Rogers,” said Natasha, lying through her teeth.

Steve chuckled and pulled her into a hug, practically engulfing her.

When he released her, she turned to James and nodded at him. “Night, Barnes.” A bit on the curt side of neutral, but it was that or asking him how he was, and she couldn’t bring herself to do that in front of everyone. It would lead to too many questions she didn’t have the patience to answer. Not now, not ever.

“Romanoff.” As clipped and court as she’d been. He returned the nod, running his fingers up his thigh, then pressing his hand flat against it. The signal for come to me. That had to mean his quarter here at the Tower. He’d have used the signal for return to base if he’d wanted her to go to their home.

Instead of asking him why he wouldn’t prefer they met at home, Natasha closed her fingers around her thumb, signaling she’d wait for him. They could talk later, when they were alone.

Getting to James’ quarters without being noticed was child’s play. She and FRIDAY had an understanding. Not even Tony would get anything from FRIDAY about Natasha’s whereabouts and, just asking FRIDAY about it, would get anyone on her shitlist.

Once she got to James’ quarters, Natasha went straight for the bedroom. Removing her clothes and putting on one of his tees. One of his old ones, the black fabric soft against her skin. This wasn’t home, but she could at least make it feel more homely by dressing down. Besides, he loved it when she wore his clothes and she loved wearing them, so it was a win-win on all accounts. After a bit of fiddling with the radio, Natasha found a late-night station to serve as background noise. Not because there was any risk of being heard outside the quarters, the soundproofing was far too effective for that, but to break the eerie silence. She didn’t mind it much, but James had said it sucked at his ears when he was alone. The last thing on her list was closing the flimsy curtains over the floor-to-ceiling windows. They were far from as effective as the ones they had at home, but they could at least give them a modicum of privacy.

After that, she only had time to grab two beers from the fridge before she heard the door being unlocked and locked, followed by James’ tentative voice calling out, “Nat?”

“In here.” Natasha stepped out of the kitchen, the two now open beers in hand.

His answering smile could have lit up the darkest night. He went to her instantly, his long legs crossing the space between them with half as many steps as it would have taken her. Then his arms were around her and she could bury her face against his chest, letting her free hand sneak up under his Henley and tee to feel the burning hot skin underneath. Oh, how good it felt to have his arms around her again. Going all day without his touch was torture, really.

Without her boots on, the top of her head barely reached his chin, and he took full advantage of that, burying his face in her hair, breathing her in. The thump, thump of his heart and the even rise and fall of his chest seemed to fill her world, and Natasha relaxed in his embrace, letting the last bit of tension ease from her muscles. Home away from home.

“Sorry,” James said, “I know you’d rather have gone home, but I’m running with Steve tomorrow an’ I’ve run out of excuses for why we can’t meet at my old safehouse.” His voice was muffled by her hair.

“Weren’t they supposed to be done with the renovation last week?”

He shrugged. The renovation team was also supposed to be done the week before that, and the week before that.

She pulled back to get a better look at him, slipped her arm free, and cupped the side of his face, letting him press closer to her hand. “I’d much rather be with you at that restaurant you wanted to take me to, but this is fine when I’m with you.”

He smiled, soft and gentle. “Already moved our reservation to tomorrow.”

“Ever the gentleman.”

“Not really. Just looking out for my best girl.”

Natasha stopped him talking with a kiss. Stretching on tiptoes to brush her lips over his, softly at first, barely more than a graze. He responded instantly, opening his mouth and kissing her back. The taste of the beer lingered on his tongue, but no cigarette smoke. Thought about him running out of cigarettes and if she had any at her quarters became decidedly less important as James deepened the kiss. His stubble scratched her chin deliciously, as rough as his kiss was gentle. They explored each other for a while. No hurry and no demand for anything more, just soft kisses and a loose embrace. It still left her breathless.

He walked her backward without breaking the kiss, no doubt aiming for the couch, and she let him guide her, trusting him to navigate them around the side tables. When they reached the couch, he lifted her off her feet, sitting them both on the couch with her straddling his lap. It would have been a smooth move if not for the high-pitched farting noise the couch let out as their combined weight sunk into the leather clad cushions. Try as she might, Natasha failed at keeping her laughter contained. It spilled out of her, breaking the kiss. James just sighed, leaning back and causing another escape of air from the couch.

“This wouldn’t have happened at home.” She leaned back to put the two beers on the coffee table behind her, then ran her hands over his chest, enjoying the heat radiating out from under his clothes. Her bare legs had been cool before, sitting with them bracketing James’ legs made her feel decidedly less underdressed.

“No, I would have almost sat on a cat and gotten scratched on the ass as a thank you.” He draped his arms over the back of the couch, clearly enjoying her attention.

She grinned. “Alpine would never.”

“Liho would.”

“Liho doesn’t sleep on the couch unless it’s with one of us.”

His lips curled up with the most delighted smile. “Natalia Romanova, the cat whisperer.”

“You don’t have to be a cat whisperer to observe basic behavior,” Natasha said, as if it wasn’t something so ingrained in her it came easier than breathing.

“And where do I prefer to sleep?” Taking his arms off the back of the couch, James slid his hands down her sides to rest on her thighs where he caressed her with his thumbs, each circle working his thumb farther and farther up under her tee. So, he had finally noticed that while she was wearing his tee, she wasn’t wearing anything under it.

She rewarded him with a grin. “Is that a trick question? In my arms, of course.” She proved her point by resting her arms on his wide shoulders.

He leaned forward to nuzzle at the nape of her neck before he placed the softest of kisses there. “Of course.” His breath wafted over her skin, and he followed it with his mouth. Soft kisses turned into open-mouthed kisses, which turned into hungry kisses with his teeth scraping over the sensitive skin on her neck. It made Natasha arch her back and push against him, feeling his warmth soak through their clothes. When his lips found her nipples, she angled her hips to grind against him. He wasn’t fully hard yet, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable to roll her hips as if she was riding him. Doubly so when his finger dug into her hips.

It was a distraction ploy. She should have known better.

Using his grip on her hips, he shifted her back, then his right hand slipped between her thighs, fingertips trailing over sensitive skin, making her shiver. But he didn’t go any farther, stroking her without pushing inside her, his movements languid, his lips busy kissing her nipples through the fabric of the tee. She squirmed in his lap, needing more contact. When he finally pushed between her folds, she couldn’t stop a strangled moan from escaping her. It was unfair. He had free rein to explore her under the loose tee, while his jeans, Henley, and tee kept her options limited. And he had the nerve to prove it by slipping a finger inside her, deliberately slow, then cooking it. The curse that escaped her only made James grin against her skin and press his thumb against her clit. Gathering his hair in her fists allowed her to pull his head back so she could kiss him and make sure he got as worked up as her.

It was no easy task. Not when he pushed another finger inside her and stroked her clit with his thumb. He rocked his hand, slow and steady, and she kissed him in return, nipping at his bottom lip, dragging her fingers over his wide shoulders, down his chest.

Once she could feel his heart hammering as hard as hers, Natasha shifted back a little to make room for her to slide a hand between them and palm his crotch. The fat outline of his cock was unmistakably against the fabric of his jeans. She ran her fingers down it lightly, then reversed direction, dragging her nails back up over the thick fabric. James’ reaction was instant and delightful. His head fell back against the couch, breaking the kiss, and he looked at her with hooded eyes and parted lips.

“Wouldn’t it feel a lot nicer if your cock was inside me instead of your fingers?” She matched the speed of his fingers, dragging her nails over his cock as fast as he was fucking his fingers up into her.

“It would,” he agreed. Then he licked his lips. “Make you come first? Just like this?”

The eagerness in his voice. The promise. Bereft words, Natasha nodded and didn’t protest when he straightened, forcing her back, so he could perch on the edge of the couch. The change of angle meant he had more room to rock his hand against her. Meant that he had to support her with his free hand on the small of her back. She was caught between his strong hands. Her pulse was hammering in her ears, her breathing loud in the otherwise mostly quiet room. His hot mouth on her and his fingers inside her took her apart with practiced skill. So wonderfully eager. And all hers.

She felt exposed, vulnerable. If she turned her head, she could see the damn front door to James’ quarters from where she was. But she didn’t care. Her skin was too tight, the warmth pooled in the pit of her stomach nearly burning. She felt safe with his hands on her. Loved. She was right at the edge, so close she could feel the orgasm getting nearer and nearer. Felt shaky with it, light-headed.

She was so caught up in the feeling of his lovely fingers she missed the first beep of the lock on the front door disengaging. Neither of them missed the click of the door opening.

James froze. Natasha didn’t.

She was off him in a blink of an eye. Nearly tripping on unsteady legs as she dove behind the couch. The bedroom was ten, maybe twelve feet away, but the door was already opening. Fuck it. Where she was behind the couch, she wasn’t visible yet. Natasha took off, using every bit of her training to keep herself from making a sound. Ducked inside the bedroom just as a voice rang out.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice. Steve. Quite possibly the worst person to almost walk in on them. The righteous indignation if he’d caught them didn’t bear thinking of.

A bump from where James was sitting, swiftly followed by glass against a hard surface, and the sound of liquid spilling. “Aw, man,” James said, sounding not at all convincing. So, he’d bumped into the coffee table and knocked over one or two beer bottles. For distraction maybe? Or to cover for his surprise? Or—

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck no. To cover for the smell. Her smell. If Steve’s nose was as good as James’, then he might smell her slick on James’ hand.

Natasha could have died.

Wanted the ground to open up and swallow her so she would never have to look Steve in the eyes again. Ever.

What she did was to stand there, pressed against the wall as Steve’s footsteps made their way down the short hallway to the living room.

“Steve?” James had apparently a better grip on himself than she did, because he sounded perfectly normal. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you.”

“To check on me?”

“You said you had a headache when you left.” A long silence followed, felt like eons had gone past before Steve continued, “You don’t get headaches. You didn’t before the war and I’m pretty sure you don’t get them now. So, yeah, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

James sighed, loudly and drawn out. “Coulda warned me you’d roped Sam into that stupid date thing.”

“I didn’t rope him into it. He invited himself.” He sounded too smug to pull off the Honest Captain America he was aiming for.

“After you told him about it.”

There was a sound of fabric rubbing against fabric. A shrug maybe? “I only told him because he asked why you were grumpier than usual.”

Another long silence followed. Knowing the two of them, it was because they were staring each other down. They were good at that. It had made everyone think they had some kind of telepathic link when James had joined the team. In Natasha’s opinion, they wouldn’t have as many shouting matches if they did.

“But the date is still on?” Steve again, sounding like they hadn’t just spent the last eternity staring daggers at each other.

An exasperated sigh, then, “The date is still on.” If Steve couldn’t hear the sarcasm in James’ voice, he should have his hearing checked.

The sound of feet moving towards the door, followed by a door opening.

“Maybe knock the next time?” James said as a goodbye. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sure thing, Buck.” Steve sounded amused rather than embarrassed.

Then the door closed, and Natasha could breathe freely again.

When she reentered the living room, James was standing with his back to her with his right hand jammed into his jean pocket—to contain the smell of her probably—and cursing under his breath. English curses, Russian, French. He’d started in Japanese when she cleared her throat and interrupted him.

“Am I going to meet the lucky lady before the date or after? I hope you’ll introduce her to me. It would be rude not to,” she said because she couldn’t not tease him when he was this annoyed.

“Ha, ha,” James said and dragged his free hand over his face with a sigh. “I’m gonna make up some story about asking someone out and tell him she turned me down. Keep doing it till he backs off. Unless you have any bright ideas? I’d hoped you’d help me get out of it.” He went to the kitchen and came back with paper towels.

Natasha watched him clean the beer off the coffee table, then said, “You could ask Jasmin, the receptionist at the VA, out. She always brightens up when she sees you. I bet she’d love to go on a date with you.” The wall separating the living room from the bedroom was cool against her back when she leaned against it, feigning ease. It was a pleasant contrast to her aching nipples.

James gaped at her, towels forgotten. Mouth hanging open as he stared at her in disbelief. It was adorable. He shut it with a snap and said, “Did Steve put you up to this? I swear to God—”

“No,” said Natasha, staring back and fighting not to laugh. “He asked me if I thought the two of you would make a good couple earlier tonight. If I knew anyone who would go on a date with you,” she conceded. “It was pretty cute. He just wants you to be happy.” None of that seemed to draw a reaction from him, so she said all innocent like, “You should go on the date. It might be fun.”

James opened his mouth and shut it. Opened it again. A few hilarious moments later, he finally managed, “You want me to date that poor woman?” Outrage writ large on his face and in his tone.

“No! I want you to go on one date with her. Then you can tell Steve it didn’t work out and he’ll stop nagging you about it.” Putting all those years of spy craft into schooling her expression and tone just to torment the love of her life.

Abandoning the towels, he stalked towards her like a hunter zeroing in on their prey, eyes narrowed. “Have you met him? He’ll just line up the next poor sucker and anyway, I don’t want to date anyone but you.”

“It might be fun.” Keeping a straight face was becoming harder and harder.

“No, it won’t! You’d hate going on a date with some poor sucker just to get Captain Righteous off your case.” He didn’t stop once he reached a normal speaking distance, he kept on till he pressed against her, trapping her against the cool wall.

Natasha shrugged, not trusting her voice to remain steady under his outraged stare.

James loomed over her now, crowding her back against the wall. Then he tilted his head and looked at her. Really looked. Seeing her the way only he could. “You’re done fooling me, darlin’. I can still smell how much you want me.” He pushed his knee between her legs, pressing his thigh against her, probably ruining his jeans. “You wouldn’t share me if your life depended on it.”

Dropping her mask, Natasha smiled up at him. Showing him just how pleased she was. She brushed her fingertips along the line of his cheekbone, up into his hair where she gripped the loose bun he had pulled it into. “Of course not,” she said. “You’re mine and don’t you forget it.”

His breathing hitched, then he reached down, wrapping his arm around her waist, lifted her up in one go, and draped her legs around his waist. He pushed against her, pushed the air out of her lungs. Mouth hot and demanding on hers. She clawed uselessly at his back, then realized that she would have to remove his Henley and tee both to properly feel him and grabbed the bottom of both shirts to pull them up, up, up. James was less than pleased at the interruption, but he stopped kissing her for long enough for the two of them to pull his shirts off. There. Now she could feel the way the heavy muscles shifted under her hands when she tightened her legs around him. How the non-scared skin broke into goosebumps when she brushed a finger over the thick scar where metal met flesh.

Interruption or no interruption, she still wanted him as badly as she’d done before Steve’s unannounced visit. And grinding against him confirmed he was well on his way to full mast.

“Bedroom,” Natasha suggested, out of breath.

“With the door closed,” James agreed. Not waiting for her answer, he took her there, kicking the door close behind him so hard it rattled on its hinges. Another two steps took them to the bed, where he put her down with a lot more care than he’d shown the door. Then he set his hands on his belt, flicking it open. His jeans came next, unbuttoned and unzipped in seconds. But he didn’t remove them all the way. Probably because he’d need to unlace his boots to get them off. Instead, he pushed his jeans and underwear down to around mid-thigh and crawled onto the bed after her. The designer throw that had come with the fancy bed be dammed, apparently.

Natasha greeted him with eager fingers. Brushing them over his face and chest while she waited for him to position himself between her thighs.

To torment her or to torment himself, she wasn’t entirely sure, James rubbed the head of his cock against her. Wetting himself on her. Sliding over her again and again instead of into. His eyes were caught on their almost joining, stuck there. When she hooked a leg around his hips to pull him inside, he braced himself against her, stopping her from having him.

“James,” she said, knowing full well how impatient it made her sound.

Looking up at her face with a little frown marring his brow, he said, “Never got to make you come before.”

It made her laugh. Helplessly, joyfully.

“I didn’t.” He sounded offended and that made her laugh harder.

“Okay,” said Natasha, stilling her laughter. “But I want you inside me while you do it.”

“Yeah, okay.” His smile was brilliant, blinding, really. “Yeah, I want that, too.”

Grasping his forearms, Natasha pulled herself up onto his lap, pushing him back to sit on his haunches. Then she pulled the front of the tee over and behind her head, leaving her front exposed while the soft, black fabric hugged her shoulders and back like a shrug. For his sake, as well as her own.

His cock was heavy and hot against her stomach. There was a drop of pre-come on the tip of it, inviting her to touch it. It jerked at her touch and James hissed a little when she rubbed a thumb over the head, mixing her slick with his pre-come. She couldn’t help it; she had to stroke it. The skin soft and inviting. Once, twice, till his lovely mouth fell open and he breath caught. But no more. She had promised him he could have fun first.

Lifting off of him a little, Natasha positioned the head at her entrance, then sank down onto it in one go. Taking him without stopping to allow herself to adjust to having him inside her. The stretch of it, the burn, was almost too much. “Fuck.” The curse tore free from her throat of its own accord.

James wrapped his arms around her so tightly she could barely breathe and hid his face against her neck. It was a relief; she felt like she might split if she tried to move. “You promised.” His words were muffled against the side of her neck.

Running her fingers through his cool hair distracted herself from her body adjusting to him, the size of him. “Of course, James, I just—” Natasha pulled at his hair, gently, till he tipped his head back. Catching his mouth with hers, she kissed him. Softly at first, then deepening the kiss. They kissed, open-mouthed and hungry. Messy. Sharing the same air. She didn’t pull back till her inner muscles had relaxed enough for her to move without feeling like she might tear.

Were her lips as red as his? Did she look as wrecked as him? Probably. She leaned back onto the bed. With her thighs resting on his and his cock still inside her, only the top of her back and head touched the bed. Her torso stretched out, open to his touch. And best of all? She could watch him like he could her. See as the heavy muscles of his chest shifted when he breathed. Watch as he put his beautifully mismatched hands on her thighs, drawing tight circles on her skin.

“There,” Natasha said, satisfied. “Now, make me come, zvezda moya.”

James didn’t hesitate. He folded himself over her, sucking a nipple into his mouth so hard it sent fire running along her veins. She cried out, arching her back up into his touch, mind ablaze.

“I love you.” He pressed the words into her skin with his kisses as he moved from one breast to the other. “I love you, Natalia. My Natalia.” He suckled and licked, scraped his teeth ever so lightly over her. Setting her on fire.

He had made her come like this before. It wasn’t often it happened, but it was nice when it did. Gave her a different kind of orgasm. It didn’t, however, seem like that was his plan today. Her nipples throbbed when he left them to the cool air, the good kind of pain. His chest was heaving, his cock twitching inside her. He looked beautiful and so very attentive, but she didn’t get to watch him for long. He shifted his right hand to her stomach, splaying his fingers possessively as he slipped his thumb between her folds.

“How do you want this? Fast? Slow?” He pressed against her clit, slow and languid.

“Fast,” said Natasha. Quicker than she liked. Aching for a release. “I don’t like it when you have to wait for long.”

A sweet and almost boyish smile softened his features. “I don’t mind.”

“I do.”

He laughed, a little wretchedly, but his hands were already pulling her upright, onto his lap. One slipped behind her back, cupping the back of her head, while the other found its way back to her clit. Supporting her, winding her further up. Clever fingers stroking her, his mouth kissing her.

It took James less than a minute to make her head spin. Firm and relentless, he rubbed against her clit. His teeth were on her collarbone, then his lips. A soft kiss to soothe the sting. Natasha had to clasp a hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying out. It didn’t matter how effective the soundproofing was; she couldn’t risk it. He was so good, so very good at this, and when she told him so, he rewarded her by speeding up even more. By licking over her sore nipples.

This was everything. He was everything. Around her, under her. Inside her. Fuck. She couldn’t think, couldn’t register anything but him and the desire he sparked in her. Electricity crackled under her skin, the tight coil in the pit of her stomach maddening. She was so close, so—The next press of his thumb made her sob into her hand and then the coil released and her orgasm pulsing through her, each pulse stronger than the one before. Time slowed as she fell apart in James’ hands.

He brought her back, little by little, kissing her through the aftershocks until Natasha could finally melt into his arms. Exhausted, her nerves still buzzing pleasantly now that the pulse of the orgasm had finally ebbed.

“There you are,” he said when she could finally coax her eyes to open and look at him. He was smiling, all pleased and happy. Breathing too hard to be as relaxed as he tried to look.

She shifted a little, feeling the drag of his cock inside her, and watching as James bit hard into his bottom lip. Yeah, he was getting to be more than a little strung out. To keep him from drawing blood, she kissed the corner of his mouth, then along the bottom lips when he released it. Rolling her hips a little as she did so, not lifting off him, grinding against him instead.

“You want me to ride you?” Natasha asked when he broke the kiss to release a deep groan of pent-up desire. “It’s been a while.”

He blinked at her, slowly, like a cat. “Didn’t you ride me the other day? When we were supposed to see that new show Sam’s been talking about.”

“That doesn’t count. Alpine throwing up spoiled the mood.”

He chuckled, nudging her jaw with his nose to get her to expose her throat. Kissing her there when she obliged. His stubble was soft on her skin, his kisses even softer. “Anything,” he said between kisses. “Anything you want.” Then he was moving. He struggled to get his legs out from under himself, the jeans and boxer briefs hindering his movements.

“You could have just taken them off like a civilized person,” she said.

“Didn’t wanna waste any more time.” James circled her waist with his good arm, then lifted himself and her off the bed, balanced on his left arm, and swinging his legs around in front of him. Strong and agile and amazing.

Couldn’t argue with that logic. Well, Natasha could, she just didn’t want to.

He let go of her once he was flat on his back, turning control over to her and allowing her to move as she pleased, and she took full advantage of it. Lifting off him till only his head was inside her, then pushing down till he was seated all the way inside her. Lovely friction dragging on her insides,

James’ hands found her knees, then crept slowly up her thighs, never trying to control or guide her movement. If she were to guess, it was so he could feel the shift of her hips as she fucked him. Always so keen on watching her when they were together. He seldom closed his eyes for long. Getting off on the sight of her as well as the feeling of fucking her. Adorable man. And Natasha didn’t disagree with the sentiment. She loved watching him, especially when she was in control. The delightful frown that marred his brow when he was too wound up to last much longer. His lush lips fell open. His eyes, his lovely eyes, going from pale blue to stormy gray as desire build inside him.

She took full advantage of her position. Running her hands down his chest, dipping into lines, scratching through his trimmed chest hair, grazing his nipples several times as revenge for how badly hers were still throbbing. Caressing him while she rode him. Basking in the light of his eyes as he watched her with bottomless hunger. She would be able to tell how turned on James was, even without seeing or hearing him. The swollen head of his cock dragged deliciously against her insides, adding friction to delicious fullness.

It was almost too much. The drag of him. The way he filled her to the brim. Goosebumps started on Natasha’s scalp, ran down her spine. She shivered from it and he fucking whimpered. There was no other way to describe the desperate sound that tore itself loose from his throat.

“Natalia.” A prayer. A plea.

“You close?” Not that she had any doubt, but she wanted, needed the confirmation.

James nodded, mouth open and panting, then said, “Yeah.” Adorable, really.

Leaning forward, she placed her hands on his chest, supporting her weight there as she lifted off him a few inches to give him room to move. “Then fuck me. Hard—”

Before she could finish speaking, he shifted underneath her, planting his feet on the mattress, and snapped his hips up into her, rattling her. Fucking her senseless. His hands were firm on her hips, keeping her in place as he thrust up into her, fast and hard. Chasing his release. Her own wasn’t far behind. The buzz from her recent orgasm rose in strength as he fucked up into her. At this rate, she wouldn’t need anything else to come. He was hitting her just right, making her skin feel too tight again, making her dizzy with it.

The desperate sounds James made were a song in her ears, edging her on. She dug her fingers into the thick muscles of his chest, nails biting into skin and leaving half-moon dimples behind when she shifted. He responded by digging his fingers into her hips. Promising pretty little bruises by tomorrow. Natasha grinned as the ache from them mingled with the crackling of ecstasy gathering in the pit of her—

He started to come a fraction of a second before her. Hips snapping up into her as he pulled her hips down to meet him at a frantic speed. She felt his cock pulse once, and then she was falling with him. Clinging to him as he bucked and moaned and shook under her. Dissolving into pleasure, knees buckling as she cried out, not caring who might hear her.

It took a while before Natasha could do more than gasp for air. His chest was sticky with sweat where she had collapsed on top of it, but she thought that might be at least partly her fault. Her hair stuck to her back. Her neck felt damp.

“God,” James breathed.

“Yeah,” she agreed and raised her head to look at him and almost wished she hadn’t.

He looked wrecked. Cheeks flushed and a smear of blood where he’d bitten through the skin on his bottom lip. Natasha was sure she looked just as wrecked, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that seeing him like this made her want to ride him again, wrung out and weak or not. Languidly this time, until neither of them could stand not coming for one more second.

It would be a nice way to end the day before she snuck out to avoid awkward conversations with anyone who might spot her. Though she wasn’t sure if she’d go to her quarters or home. Even with the cats, it always felt empty without him there with her. And the cats had enough food to last them till tomorrow. They could both leave except that James was supposed to meet Steve at the Tower.

Hmm.

“Stay here tonight? With me?” said James, apparently reading her mind. He looked so earnest. It almost soothed her worry about being caught. “I’ll start a fire in the lounge tomorrow. Make sure no one sees you leaving my quarters.”

Natasha laughed, only half because he had obviously wanted her to. She liked the mental image that had given her. “Shower first, then I’ll stay,” she agreed.

“First I eat you out, then shower, then I fuck you again and then we sleep.”

“Only if I get to blow you.”

“You drive a hard bargain, lady.” His grin was soft and ridiculous.

“I mean.” She squeezed her inner muscles around him to point out how he still hadn’t gone soft inside her.

He weaved the fingers on his right hand into her hair, pushing it back, away from her face. Soft and loving eyes on her. “I love you.”

She nudged his nose with hers, then kissed him. A peck really, close-lipped and brief. “I love you, too.”

He sighed contently, then flexed his hands on her hips. “Okay, shower, then we take it from there.”

They didn’t make it to the shower till a while later because James insisted on eating her out before they left the bed to clean up the mess he’d made of her. But Natasha didn’t mind because that meant she got to blow him in the shower where he had to bite his knuckles to keep from making noises that might carry through the ventilation system. By the time they were completely spent and had showered for the second time that night, he had all but fucked the worry out of her and she fell asleep in an unfamiliar bed with his familiar arms around her.

Chapter Text

A text woke Bucky up. At first, he thought it was from Natalia since she hadn’t answered his last few texts. He wasn’t worried. Not yet. Not really. Being away on a mission often made regular contact impossible. Then he saw the notification was from Steve. He checked the time before he checked the message. Still a few hours till their morning run and his alarm wouldn’t go off for another hour or so. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he slipped his feet out from under Liho and sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to sit on Alpine’s fur as he did so.

‘Can’t run today,’ the text from Steve read. ‘Keeping Nat company at the infirmary.’

He blinked at the phone. Reread the message. It didn’t change.

At the infirmary. Natalia was at the infirmary at the Tower. And she was badly enough hurt to be kept there and needed Steve as company. How could that even happen? It was supposed to be a standard mission. The only reason she’d gone on it was because the intel had suggested that the Red Room might be involved with a Hydra splinter group. Otherwise, some SHIELD grunts would have been sent alone.

And why was Steve even with her? He wasn’t a part of the mission. Had they called him? How badly was she hurt if she needed the team leader as a babysitter?

Bucky’s fingers felt numb. His face, too. The hammering of his heart was loud enough to drown out Alpine’s snoring. He stared at the screen. The words refused to change.

A bubble popped up, indicating that Steve was writing another message. ‘Doc’s keeping her overnight. Probably won’t make it tomorrow either.’ The bubble popped up again immediately, then, ‘Unless she throws me out before then.’ Another message popped up after that with a smiley crying with laughter.

This had to be a nightmare. Except, his nightmares about Natalia dying usually included her dead body and his bloody hands. And Steve wouldn’t be joking around if she was in actual danger. Right?

‘What happened?’ Bucky typed once he got the use of his fingers back.

A series of messages popped up, one after the other. ‘Nothing serious.’ Followed by, ‘Doc just wants to keep her under observation.’ And then, ‘You know Nat. Tough as nails.’ Followed by the smiley with a small smile that always seemed vaguely passive-aggressive to Bucky.

Feeling numb all over, Bucky got up, showered, and dressed. He fed the cats. He tried playing with the cats, but he kept getting distracted.

Instead of doing something productive with his time, Bucky wore holes in the floor by pacing. He wouldn’t even have found out if Steve hadn’t canceled their morning run. That was what hurt the most. No, that wasn’t true. What hurt the most was that Natalia was injured badly enough to be in the goddamn infirmary for God knew how long and he couldn’t go to her. Couldn’t even ask Steve how she was. If it was—God forbid—serious.

He wanted to run until he couldn’t feel his feet. He wanted to beat someone into a bloody pulp. He wanted, most of all, to go to Natalia. To be with her. To hold her hand. To make sure the doctors made her better again.

He wanted to not care about who knew they were together.

And maybe he didn’t, not with something like this. Except that Natalia had literally jumped off him to hide when Steve had almost caught them together last month. She valued their privacy even higher than he did.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity fucking fuck.

This wasn’t fucking fair.

Time slowed to a drip. The sun rose and people went about their lives outside Bucky’s personal hell. And still no updates from Steve or Natalia.

Was she unconscious? Was that why she didn’t text him back? Or did she just not wanna risk it with Steve watching her? Maybe she’d lost her phone?

God fucking damn it.

A little after two in the morning the next day, Bucky finally gave in. She might get discharged from the hospital in a few hours. She might not. He didn’t fucking know, was the thing. He couldn’t even ask Steve without giving something away. That left him with two possibilities: continue to lose his mind or take things into his own hands and he had never been afraid of getting his hands dirty.

The Avengers Tower might be one of the most secure buildings in the United States, but that was primarily because of its residents. The hardest part of breaking into Natalia’s hospital room was finding out which room she was in without raising FRIDAY’s suspicion. After that it was a matter of working loose one of the windows in the bathroom three floors over the floor with the infirmary, lowering himself down the outside of the Tower, and shimmying open the bathroom window in the suite Natalia was supposedly staying in.

A much harder task was waiting by the door separating the bathroom and the hospital room once he had closed the window again. He had to make sure that she was alone before he opened the door. All that sneaking around would be for nothing if Steve or Barton were sleeping in a chair by her bed. Or if either of them had stepped outside for a drink. But minute after minute ticked by and all Bucky could hear from the other side of the door was Natalia’s steady and very familiar breathing. Nothing else. She must have thrown Steve out after all.

Relieved, Bucky pushed open the door to be greeted by the barrel of a gun.

That, too, was a relief, in a way. It meant she was well enough to defend herself even if she hadn’t recognized him at first. His relief must have shown, because a small smile tugged at her mouth as she lowered her gun and made it disappear under her pillows.

“James,” Natalia said, her voice barely a whisper so that only his enhanced hearing could pick it up. There was relief in her voice, and it felt so good to hear.

He crossed the distance between them in a few strides. Only barely stopping himself from scooping her up in his arms when he got to her bed, settling for taking her hand in his. “Sorry,” said Bucky. “I know I should have stayed away, but I had to see you.”

Her smile faltered. “No, I’m sorry. I wanted to call you, but—” Natalia gestured at the broken remains of her phone on the bedside table. “Steve’s never told me about your morning runs, so I spend half an hour talking in circled about how I hoped I didn’t mess up his plans only to find out the asshole had already texted you.” Her smile was small and tired, but it made him breathe easier. “I just wanted to go home and tell you I’m okay, but they wouldn’t let me go unaccompanied and how was I supposed to explain that I wouldn’t be alone?” She shook her head, then winced, revealing the ugly bruising on the side of her head.

Bucky reached his free hand out to inspect her face, brushing her hair back to reveal a narrow gash near her temple and a black eye he had mistaken for a shadow in the dark room. The wound had been closed by butterfly bandages, so at least it hadn’t needed stitches. “What happened?”

“I fell,” she said, leaving out a mountain of details. The ribs on her right side were bandaged and he could see the lump of bandages around her right knee through the blanket covering her. Now that he was looking for it, he also noticed scrapes on the knuckles of her right hand as well. She looked small in the huge hospital bed. Almost fragile.

“What? Off a building?” He’d meant it as a joke, but the way she half shrugged told him he wasn’t wrong. The urge to beat someone to a bloody pulp returned. His body felt heavy with worry, worn out.

Apparently reading his mind, Natalia pulled at his hand until he came close enough to sit on the bed by her uninjured side. “I’m fine, James,” she said. “It’s nothing. A few bruised ribs, a mild concussion, and a sore knee. I’m only here because Steve insisted he’d come home with me, so I wouldn’t be alone. Only got him to leave after I promised him I wouldn’t leave on my own.”

Now it was Bucky’s time to wince. Who he was and wasn’t with wasn’t anyone’s business as far as he cared, but this was Steve. The closest thing he’d ever come to having a brother. The guy who had risked his own life to free Bucky from Hydra’s clutches. He owed the guy his life and he couldn’t even tell him about the love of his life.

Natalia interrupted his fretting by slumping back in the bed. Closing her eyes for a moment or two and shaking her head. “This is a mess.” Her laughter was unsteady, and she pressed a hand to her injured ribs. “We’re a mess.”

“You wanna tell him?” Bucky asked, not knowing what his own answer was to that question.

“No!” she said emphatically. “I want him to already know, so we don’t have to tell him. I want to never go through this again with you a few miles away and me unable to tell you I’m okay.”

He shifted his grip on her hand, weaving his fingers between hers. Slim and deceptively frail-looking fingers weaving between his metal ones. To touch her in public and not care who saw them. It might not be the worst thing that could happen to him. “We could run away together. Less painful for everyone.”

Natalia smiled, a snicker working its way out of her, then she winced. “Please don’t make me laugh.”

“He’s going to go all disappointed Captain America on us when we tell him, isn’t he?”

“Maybe,” she said. Then, “Definitely.”

“Ugh.” Bucky rubbed his free hand over his face. “What if I knock him out and we convince him we already told him when he wakes up at our place?”

“What did I just tell you about not making me laugh?” She didn’t sound as mad as she half-heartedly tried to look. The soft smile on her lips and the glimmer in her eyes spoiled the frown.

“Sorry,” he said, only half sincere. Not sorry about trying to make her laugh, sorry about causing her pain.

“We should tell Clint, too.”

“Sam,” Bucky added. “You think Wanda knows?”

“If she does, she’s a better liar than I give her credit for. But she might be more versed in keeping other people’s secrets than most.”

He nodded. “Not Stark. He’s gonna get all obnoxious about it.”

Natalia gave him a half-hearted slap on the side.

“He is,” he grumbled, just to see that smile again. “Any idea how to tell ‘em?”

She let her head fall back onto her pillow. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should run away. Find some secluded spot for just the two of us and the cats.”

“Buy an island somewhere warm and live out our days in peace,” Bucky said.

“You hate sand.”

“You hate living in cities with fewer than a million inhabitants.”

Sighing, Natalia snuggled up against him, wincing a little with every move. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Right now, I just want to sleep.”

“Okay if I stay with you for a while?” Bucky eyed the door and its lack of locking mechanism. “I can leave in a few hours.”

“Stay. You can take me home in the morning.” Her smile was impossible to resist, as was the pull of her hand, urging him to lie down on the bed.

He kicked his boots off, then let her drape herself onto his chest as he laid back in her hospital bed. Natalia went pliant and relaxed against him the second she got settled. Had to be exhausted from her body healing her injuries. Maybe a little from the heavy dose of painkillers they would have had to give her for it to have any effect on her.

She’d told him to stay. And he knew she knew they might get discovered when one of the nurses checked up on her or, God forbid, if Steve decided to visit her in the morning. They’d never live it down; Steve could carry a grudge for decades…

“James?” Natalia murmured into his chest. “I can hear you thinking.”

Bucky huffed out a breath and kissed the top of her head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She petted his chest where her hand rested on top of it, then said, “Steve finding us like this would make it easier. He won’t be able to yell at us without getting thrown out by the nurses.”

Chuckling, he took a deep breath, forcing his body to relax, hoping his brain would follow suit. She was right, of course she was. She always was. And even if Steve did sulk for a year about it, the secret would be out. There would be no sneaking around unless they wanted to. No more lies to keep track of. No more being kept out of the loop when she was away on a mission. Yeah, terrifying as it was to let the secret out, it would be better that way. Easier.

And he felt comfortable with her back in his arms, even when she was injured. She was back with him, and that was all that mattered. She’d get better soon. Her version of the serum meant she healed almost as fast as he did, and her sheer stubbornness meant nothing could keep her down for long. The sound of her steady breath, the slow beat of her heart lulled him, pulled him under. About an hour into his visit, Bucky fell asleep.

***

A gasp of pain tore Bucky awake. Natalia. On pure instinct, he curled his body around her, to protect her from whatever was hurting her, but that only made her gasp again. Right. Fuck. She was hurt, and he was supposed to be careful, not manhandle her and cause her more pain, Goddammit. Scanning the room didn’t reveal anything that could have caused her pain other than his clumsy self. “Wha—” His voice was thick with sleep, and he had to clear his throat to speak.

Her smile was strained, but true when she looked up at him. “Nothing. Just the painkillers have stopped working, apparently.” Natalia eased herself off of him and Bucky did his best to help by supporting her weight before carefully sliding off the bed. Once she was fully stretched out on her back, she sighed with relief. Nothing like post-injury sore muscles to punish you for going to sleep in an awkward position.

His fault, really. Should have known better than to fall asleep in her goddamn hospital bed with her. Even being touch-starved after thinking he’d lost her didn’t excuse that. Nothing did.

It took Bucky a second or two to register that she had said something. A full second of staring at her blankly till his brain pulled up a recollection of her asking about the time. He dug out his phone and checked the clock, glancing briefly at the notifications he’d missed. Well, that explained the sun streaming in their windows and the crick in his neck. “Huh, it’s a quarter past ten.”

“Wait, really?” Natalia blinked, looking exhausted despite the rest.

He showed her the time, but her eyes dipped down to the messages from Steve.

“The one time Steve could have made things easier by barging in and he’s not here.” She shook her head and winced.

“I’ll get a doctor.”

“Could you get a car? I’d rather go home.” Despite the hours of uninterrupted sleep, there were dark circles under her eyes, but her gaze was firm.

Bucky knew better than to try to talk her out of it. Agreeing with her and getting to help her go home beat her aggravating her injuries by doing it by herself when he had his back turned to her. He would be annoyed at her stubbornness if not for the extreme hypocrite that would make him. So instead of doing what his head told him was the best for her, he carted his fingers through his hair to get it to at least halfway decent-looking and nodded. “I’ll get a doctor, then I’ll get a car to drive us home.”

Her smile told him better than anything that she could say that she understood him and his predicament. She understood better than anyone. “I’m fine,” Natalia assured him, holding her hand out for him to take. “I just need some painkillers and something to eat. I’ve literally survived worse.”

“Yeah, but these days you have doctors and shit at your beck and call an’ you don’t have to tough it out.” Raising her hand, Bucky kissed the back of it, feeling how cool it was. At least the tiny cuts on her knuckles had mostly closed, healthy and pink skin taking their places. Gotta love that enhanced healing.

“Pot, meet kettle.” The smile tugging at her lips contrasted her dry tone.

He shrugged, recognizing an unwinnable fight if ever there was one, and went to search for a doctor.

He found one by the nurses’ station. While technically, it seemed unlikely that he or Steve had been seen by every doctor employed at the infirmary at the Tower, he hadn’t seen her before and something about her screamed new. She confirmed this when she reacted to him telling her that Natalia wanted to get discharged by raising an eyebrow.

Her resolve lasted about a minute and a half before Natalia had her fetching painkillers for them to take home. It was impressive, but not surprising for anyone who knew Natalia, and Bucky knew her better than most.

Seeing her get ready to leave almost made him change his mind about her going home. Dressed in loose SHIELD issue sweats since her injured knee couldn’t fit into any of her jeans, and a too big SHIELD sweatshirt that reached to top of her thighs, she looked like she could blow away with the slightest gust of wind. At least her boots had survived the ordeal, though he didn’t really know how. Someone had put a wheelchair by the bed for Natalia, but he knew better than to try to get her to sit in it. Since there was no way the sweats would keep her warm for long, he shrugged out of his leather jacket and helped her into it without aggravating her ribs too much. It only cost him an eyebrow raised in amusement, but he could live with that.

They somehow made it all the way to the front entrance of the Tower without running into anyone they knew. He left Natalia there with stern instructions not to go anywhere without him while he got a car for them. He’d driven there on his motorbike, but there was no way he’d even consider driving her home on it. So Bucky went to the garage under the Tower. Besides the personal cars of people working at the Tower, it had several dozen cars reserved for SHIELD employees, which he technically was, so he had all the cars he could wish to pick from.

When he pulled up outside the Tower, Natalia didn’t get in. Instead, she kept looking at the car, so he got out, walked around the car, and opened the door for her. Still not moving, she said, “Remind me, where have I seen this car before?”

“In the garage, probably. Are you getting in or not?”

The glance she shot him could only be described as skeptical, but she took his hand and got into the car. When she was safely buckled in, Bucky took off, driving in a less-than-straight line for their home on the off chance that they were followed. They only had gone a few blocks before Natalia started rummaging through the glove compartment. Something crinkled from inside and she brought out what turned out to be several empty candy wrappers and a plastic bag with what looked like either a dried blueberry or a weird raisin when he looked at her hand.

“This is Tony’s car, isn’t it?” She was pumped too full of drugs to keep the amusement out of her voice.

He shrugged.

“The garage is literally filled with SHIELD cars, and you decided to steal the private and, might I add favorite, car of the guy who is bankrolling us?”

“All those other cars have trackers in them, this one is guaranteed to not have SHIELD trackers.”

Natalia sighed but didn’t argue. Having agreed to go public about their relationship didn’t mean he’d give up the decision about when to go public. And it wasn’t as if he was wrong.

“Besides, I’ve always wanted to drive this thing,” Bucky admitted, because it was the truth, and it had been several minutes since she’d smiled at him and he felt the need to see it again, just to ensure himself he wasn’t making a mistake by letting her talk him into taking her home early.

“Utterly and completely hopeless.” The smile was small, but Natalia’s eyes were soft when he glanced over at her.

Worry eased; Bucky focused on driving them back home to their waiting cats.

Chapter Text

They tried to tell Steve about their relationship in the following weeks, but each time their carefully laid plans were either spoiled by Steve irritating James by bringing up the double date or, once, by a former Stark Industries employee trying to wipe New York from the map. When the dust had settled, they made plans no one could blow off or up.

***

A crowd had gathered in front of the Avengers Tower when they got there. Any semi-public event hosted at the Tower tended to draw attention, Tony’s world-famous parties even more so. The paparazzi had shown up in full force, as well as spectators, all hoping to get glimpses of the rich and famous in attendance tonight. They hadn’t noticed Natasha or James yet. The car ahead of them made sure of that. Or rather, its former occupants, who were busy preening in front of the cameras.

“We don’t have to do this,” said James, the mind reader. He smiled at Natasha when she turned to look at him, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. So, she wasn’t the only one getting nervous. “If you don’t want to. We could tell everyone in private an’ not make a big thing of it,” he continued when she didn’t answer.

“No,” she finally said. “I want to do this.” And she did. Even knowing that it would be her all the trash magazines would rip into. Dating a teammate. Dating someone several times her age—ha! If only they knew. It would be all over the front pages tomorrow. They had printed worse things about her, and at least this time it wouldn’t be based on lies and speculations.

He nodded and got out of the car, ignoring the yells for attention from paparazzi and onlookers alike, circled the car, and opened the door for her. The streetlights made his eyes look more gray than blue, but it didn’t rob them of the warmth that radiated from them. James held out a hand for her, ever the gentleman, and she took it. Comforted by the familiar feel of body-warm metal, she let him support her as she exited the car.

The crowd fell silent for a second. Two.

Then someone yelled. No actual words, just a piercing shriek that may have been her name and seemed to wake everyone else from their stupor. And with that, the clamor for attention returned, for them to look this way or that, to pose for a picture, just one, just for a second. Deafening almost. Natasha ignored them. Stretching, instead, to place a kiss at the corner of James’ mouth, light and delicate, but leaving no doubt about the state of their relationship.

As if helping her out of the car hadn’t been enough, he put his hand on the small of her back as he led her inside. The warmth from his hand seeped into her, calming her.

When their elevator reached the ballroom where the party took place, he took his hand off her and offered her his arm. Old-fashioned and utterly charming. Natasha didn’t bother to contain her smile as she linked their arms, and they stepped together out of the elevator. Guests were still arriving, but the place was already buzzing with people. The ballroom took up almost the entire floor, providing a nearly 360-degree panorama view of the city. It should be impressive. All it did to Natasha was to make her feel exposed. Well, the secret would be out for good now. Everyone who was anyone was there, and so were a lot of their friends. There was no backing out now.

“From the frying pan…” James mumbled at the same time as she spotted Tony and Pepper greeting guests.

“Natasha, hi!” Pepper called to her and followed it with a quick hug. “I wasn’t sure you would come.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Natasha lied through her teeth.

Pepper looked at James and for the briefest of seconds her mouth made a perfect o, then she recovered and smiled. “Bucky, so good of you to come.”

It was funny how unused people were to see him like this. Clean shaven and with his hair pulled back in a neat bun at the nape of his neck. He looked impeccable. More than impeccable. As much as he had complained about the black-on-black suit being impossible to move in, he looked amazing in it. Sharp. Sharper than any of her knives. Dressed for the fight they were about to enter.

He nodded, said, “It’s a great pleasure to be here, ma’am.” Proving himself to be an even bigger liar than her. Then he put his arm around Natasha’s waist, curling his fingers around her hip. To anyone watching, he probably looked relaxed, but she could feel the tension in his arm and along his side.

Again, Pepper recovered at a remarkable speed. Tony, who had just sauntered over, less so.

“You two—” his accusing finger ping-ponged between the two of them “—you two are together?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “That’s not terrifying at all. Not the least bit. Nuh-uh.”

Pepper took his hand and dragged it down between them. “Be nice, Tony.”

“I am, oh, I am. Because the two of them ganging up on the rest of us is about as bad as it gets. Seriously, an alien invasion? Nothing. Hydra trying to take over the world? Piece of cake. These two working together? Might as well head for the nearest exit, ‘cause there’s no good way this is gonna end.”

It was adorable. It really was. Especially the way she could never quite tell if he was saying shit like that to rile her up or because he thought it would amuse her. Today, she suspected it was a bit of both. Patting him on the cheek, Natasha said, “Always good to see you, Tony.” And to Pepper, “Can we catch up later? Rogers looks like he wants to have a word or two with us.”

That was putting it mildly. Steve was staring at them from across the floor, arms folded over his chest. As James had put it, going all Disappointed Captain America on them. Ugh.

He met them halfway, looking like he’d eaten an entire lemon, peel and all, before coming to see them. “You could have just told me you didn’t want to go on that double date. You didn’t have to drag Nat into this,” he greeted them. His voice was as pinched and annoyed as the look on his face.

“I did tell you. Several times.” James shot back instantly. “An’ I didn’t drag her into this. She convinced me we should come clean about us.” Which was sweet of him to say, especially since it had been the other way around.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you before. We’ve wanted to for a while, but it was never the right time,” Natasha said, trying for honesty instead.

Steve shook his head and sighed. “Don’t pretend there’s anything real about this. The two of you can barely look at each other. There’s no way you’re dating.” He sighed again and raised his hands in surrender. “But that’s fine. The double date is off. I hope you’re both very happy now that you can go back to being weird and ignore each other again.”

“Steve,” Natasha began, but he had already turned his back on them and stalked away.

“Asshole,” muttered James in Steve’s direction.

Steve’s hand shot up and flipped them off despite being several feet away in a room filled with talking people, courtesy of those Super Soldier Serum-enhanced senses.

Sam approached them before they had a chance to regroup. “So, you two are a thing now?” he said, his eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “I thought we had a good thing going, Natasha.” He put his hand over his heart but dropped the pretense in favor of a gap-toothed smile, wide and brilliant and filled with that Wilson charm that could defeat just about anyone.

“We do have a good thing going. It’s called friendship.” Natasha leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

“Alright, I can admit defeat when I’m beaten.” He grinned, letting the warmth of his smile be replaced by amusement. “You could have given me a heads up, man. Swooping in and stealing my girl,” he said to James.

“’S not stealing when she was never yours to have,” James shot back, sounding smug.

It might have been fun to listen to them bicker. It usually was. But a niggling at the periphery of her vision had drawn Natasha’s attention to the bar and the man standing at it.

Fury was leaning against the bar, a look of dry mirth on his face as he watched the three of them. He usually avoided any and all of these events. Socializing had never been his strong suit unless he needed to maneuver people around, and there were better occasions for that than public parties. Besides, he hated small talk even more than James did and, in a crowd this large, it was impossible to avoid eavesdropping should he decide to talk shop.

Slipping her arm from James, she said, “I need a drink. Do you want one?”

Sam raised his glass with what she suspected was orange juice and ice cubes masquerading as a Screwdriver. “I’m good. Thanks.”

James stopped smirking at Sam to shake his head at her and shoot her a smile for a second before he turned back to Sam.

Natasha made her way over to the bar to stand next to Fury, ordering a Dark and Stormy before she turned to him. “What are you doing here, Nick? I thought you didn’t do publicity stunts?” It wasn’t a direct quote, but it was close enough.

“So, you and Barnes, huh?” he said instead of answering her, raising his glass of single malt whiskey at her in a salute of sorts.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, not dignifying it with an answer. He had a perfectly good eye; she wasn’t going to waste her time teaching him how to use it. Her drink arrived, and she downed it in one go. “If you try to go all fatherly on me and tell James not to break my heart or you’ll disappear him, I swear I’ll leave and never come back.”

“Break your heart? That kid doesn’t stand a chance against you in a real fight.”

“Do I have to remind you that the Winter Soldier shot me twice while I never did more to him than give him a mild concussion?”

“I said a real fight, Natasha. All you’ve done so far was to keep him from hurting others. You never intended to hurt him much during those fights. Besides, James Barnes would rather blow his brains out than hurt you. Brainwashed Soldier or not.” That at least Fury got right, but she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“What do you want, Nick?”

He was silent for several long moments, then said, “I’ve been meaning to talk with you about a job. Extended mission, a few months at least. Two-person job, with someone at your level of skill and ruthlessness. Didn’t think you’d want to work with Barnes for that long, with the two of you acting like two cats caught in a turf war, but now I’m thinking the two of you would be perfect for it.”

All the personal talk was done, and they were back at shop talk. That was familiar ground for the two of them. “There’s the Nick I know and love.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Send me the files. We’ll look them over in the morning.”

He nodded, not bothering to thank her. Good ol’ Nick.

Natasha’s phone vibrated in her purse and she pulled it out, but before she could check the screen, Fury cleared his throat.

“And Natasha?”

She put the phone away and turned back to face him.

“I’m happy for you,” he said without any of his usual bullshit layers making it sound insincere. “You deserve someone to make you happy.”

It was so unexpected that Natasha was at a loss for words. Not in all her time working with him had she ever heard him express anything as sappy as this. When she’d been laid out in a hospital after Odessa, he’d showed up and checked on her, but he’d never expressed any kind of worry that she’d pull through. Nor had he given her any more time off than was strictly necessary before he put her back to work.

She leaned toward him and thanked him the only way she could at that moment, with a dry kiss on a rough cheek. A token of gratitude to the father he wasn’t and never had been for her, except maybe in the most private part of her mind. He smelled of leather and a disgusting cologne he always wore that smelled like Old Spice that had been left out in the sun for too long. She suspected he wore it to keep people from getting too close to him.

“Don’t break the kid’s heart. I don’t want to have to decide between you and Cap in the divorce,” Fury said when she pulled back.

Sighing like he wanted her to, she turned and said over her shoulder, “Don’t pretend you’d hesitate for a second before picking Steve over me. Sentimentality has never been your thing.” Then she walked away and didn’t look back.

Sam had drifted off when Natasha found James alone at a table near the wall. She dug her phone out and saw no less than six notifications from Wanda. The first one was a screenshot of some gossip website with an image of Natasha stretching to kiss James in front of the Tower. The second was a string of exclamation marks; the third was a string of question marks. Wanda must have regained the use of her words after that, and they weren’t exactly polite, they were at least approving. A seventh popped up while she looked at the screen, this one in Sokovian.

Well, she took it better than Steve.

“Wanda didn’t know,” she said and held up her phone so he could see the texts.

He barely glanced at the screen before he went back to staring at something at the other end of the room. Craning her neck, Natasha finally spotted who he was eyeballing on the other side of the crowded room.

Ah. Of course.

Steve was standing by the pool tables, decidedly not playing pool. His mouth was a narrow line of disappointment, and his arms were folded over his chest. His eyes flicked over to Natasha only long enough to give her a disapproving shake of his head. Just in case she had forgotten that he was pissed at her, too.

The worst part of this whole mess was that Steve was mad at them for a perceived lie. She would have been perfectly okay with him being mad at them for not telling him about it. Having secrets was such a big part of who she and James were. And Steve knew that and claimed to have accepted that about her a long time ago. He might not like it when she lied to him, but he was supposedly okay with her not wanting to share private aspects of her life with the world. And here they were, outing themselves for the entire world to see, and for what? To have Steve accuse them of making it up to get back at him.

Somehow this was worse than if he’d been angry at them or hurt by them hiding their relationship. Now he was angry at them about something they very much weren’t guilty of and impossible to convince otherwise. Ugh.

“This was a bad idea,” said Natasha.

“No, it wasn’t,” Bucky said. “That stubborn asshole just needs to get the fuck over himself.”

Steve, apparently reading lips like a pro, mouthed, ‘Fuck you,’ in their general direction.

Stubborn asshole, indeed.

Turning her back on Steve, Natasha said, “Kiss me.” When James frowned at her, she flicked her gaze briefly in Steve’s direction.

He reached out to cup the side of her face, then stepped closer and bent to brush his lips over hers. “You sure about this?”

She draped her arms over his shoulders, lightly scraping her teeth over his bottom lip before she said, “Make a show of it.”

A flash of a grin, then he tilted his head to fulfill her wish, kissing her and stealing her breath away.

He was amazing, he really was. He’d had as many qualms about going public as Natasha had, he had even suggested just telling a select few and keeping the rest in the dark about them. And he’d grown up in a time where public display of affection was very much frowned upon. But whatever she asked for, he provided. His free arm snaked around her waist, and she wondered briefly if he was going to dip her before he used it to pull her impossibly closer.

His lips were hot on her, his kisses soft and eager. The drag of his lips over hers, the clever tip of his tongue, and the way his breath caught when she nipped at his bottom lip. For a brief moment, Natasha allowed herself to ignore their surroundings and just focus on James. Let the smell of his aftershave envelop her with his warmth. She was all but cocooned by him. Sighing, she let the last bit of tension drain from her and kissed him as if they were safely at home.

They were both out of breath when she pulled back. His eyes were sparkling with mischief and so very blue. Deep enough to drown in. A flash of red caught her eye and Natasha dropped her gaze to his mouth, stained red with her lipstick. It was a good look on him, and he used her distraction to dip down and capture her lips in another kiss, soft and lingering.

“Was that enough of a show or do you want seconds?” He nipped at her bottom lip.

“I’d love seconds, but maybe not here.” She grinned up at him. “Is he still staring?” She didn’t feel the need to specify who she meant.

James didn’t move, opting instead to shift his focus from her to the room behind her.

When he kept looking, Natasha pulled back enough to look behind her and scanned the room. Steve hadn’t just left his previous spot; he was completely gone from sight. It wasn’t as if she’d expected him to be still watching, but she’d hoped he’d have reacted just as demonstratively. Maybe by striking up a conversation with someone or started to playing pool. His disappearance was rather anti-climactic.

“Fuck ‘im,” James said. “Let’s go home.”

It was a tempting suggestion, but it wouldn’t solve anything. “How about we go somewhere private instead?”

He nodded instantly with another flash of a sharp grin, and they made their way to the restrooms without being too obvious about it. James kept his distance as they weaved between the other guests. They reached the wide corridor with the restrooms and Natasha walked all the way to the end and entered the second to last restroom. Three young women were sitting on the round, white sofa in the middle of the hallway, but they were too busy with looking at something on a phone to notice her or James.

He closed the door behind him, locking it with a soft click, and all the noise from the foyer and the lounge beyond was shut out so completely it felt like it was sucked right out of her ears. James stuck a finger in his ear and wiggled it. Apparently feeling the absence of sound as keenly as she did.

“Now what?” James asked when he stopped frowning at the lack of sounds from the outside.

“What’s the one proof Steve can’t run away from?” She tilted her head and licked her lips.

He blinked at her, then grinned. “Physical proof.”

She grinned back and let him pull her into a kiss, looping her arms around his neck. There was a hunger in his open-mouthed kiss that had to be fueled by mischief. The—albeit very soundproof—door was too thin for either of them to be completely comfortable being intimate. They had spent too much time sneaking around, not to be painfully aware of the risk of being found out. But he kissed her once, twice, pushing her back until her ass bumped into the black granite-topped vanity. Hungry and greedy kisses, letting her taste the cigarette he’d smoked before they’d left for the Tower and the minty toothpaste that all but covered it. Fanning the embers lit by their more public kiss before. His hands clutched at her hips, his body a solid wall of comfort in front of her.

Just as Natasha shifted her hands to rest on his shoulders for leverage, James shifted his from her hips to her ass, apparently reading her mind. He lifted her off her feet and set her down on the vanity behind her. The slit in her skirt was high enough to let her spread her legs and have his slim hips fit nicely between them.

They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Always had. His hands were heavy on her, his kiss urging her on and on. She ran her fingers down his chest, unbuttoning his jacket as she went. She couldn’t get him to release his grip on her, so she settled on pushing it open instead of off. The dress shirt and tee let her feel the heat from his body under it, the hard planes of muscles that shifted as he pushed against her.

“I could give you a hickey.” He moved to kiss the sensitive skin under her ear. His lips were soft on her, his tongue slick.

Natasha shivered under his touch. “My hair, ah, would hide it. Neckline’s too high.”

That made James smile against her skin and tighten his grip on her hips. It didn’t make him stop trying to make her shiver. “What’s your plan here? An’ don’t lie to me. I know you have one.” Of course he did; she wouldn’t have him any other way.

“I could give you a hickey. Or two. Or three.” She reached for his tie and began loosening it until she could pull it free from his collar.

“My shirt collar’s higher than your neckline.” He stopped his exploration of her neck to grin at her.

Stuffing his tie in the breast pocket of his jacket, Natasha said, “Not when you leave it undone,” and unbuttoned the topmost buttons of his shirt.

“You just wanna make me walk out of here looking like I just got my brain fucked out, don’t you?” His grin turned razor-sharp and hungry.

She let her voice go light and airy. “Do you mind? It’s a good look on you.”

Laughter rumbled deep in his chest before it spilled out of his mouth and into hers when he drew her back into a kiss. “I don’t mind,” James said, pressing his words into her along with his kisses. “Not when I’ve got you on my arm.” He sounded…eager, wasn’t quite right. Devoted sounded old-fashioned, but it also hit closer to the mark.

Either way, it made Natasha catch her breath and dig her fingers into him, to let him know she wasn’t letting go of him. Not now, not ever.

“Well, if the shoe fits.” She nudged his neck with her nose, and he tilted his head back, allowing her full access. Sweet man. She picked a spot and kissed it, lathering it with her tongue before she sucked, her cheeks hollowing with the effort. James hissed and his fingers dug into her hips, hard enough to spark a sweet twinge. Hard enough to leave marks that no one but the two of them would see. Natasha grinned against his neck and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer.

Aside from the bruises he often left on her hips and the red scratches she left on his back, neither of them had ever been marked up for the world to see like this. Not in all their time together. The bruises and scratches had started as a protest, a reminder that no one could force them apart now that they were both free. Reclaiming their bodies and making each other feel good in the process, even if they’d kept the mark to places that weren’t usually visible in public spaces. Leaving her mark on him in such an obvious manner ought to make her feel a bit silly. It didn’t, quite the opposite. Natasha hadn’t expected to like it this much. She hadn’t expected James to like it as much as he sounded like he did. Sharp intakes of air when she sucked hard and shuddering releases when she kissed him to soothe the ache. He sounded more like she was blowing him instead of leaving red marks on his neck like a horny teenager.

Heat pooled in the pit of her stomach, hot and heavy.

She didn’t even notice he was rucking up her skirt till she felt his finger trailing over her thigh. The left one. The metal slid over her, almost frictionless. He was gentler when he touched her with that hand, to make up for the lack of give, she guessed. He slipped it between her thighs and cupped her before he started to rub over her folds, smooth metal over slick silk giving no resistance. Not enough to do more than tease and add fuel to the fire that was already growing there. Strong fingers that could dent metal, yet he caressed her with a tenderness that contrasted with his labored breathing. Just as gently, James hooked fingers around the crotch of her panties and pulled them aside.

Her breath caught when he pressed and one of his fingers slipped between her folds to wet it before he started rubbing it over her clit, slow and languid and amazing. Giving as good as he was getting. Making her gasp for breath and press closer to him. She couldn’t help herself. It had been far too long since she’d had his lips on hers. Abandoning his neck, Natasha pulled him into a kiss, making him swallow the moans her gasps for breath turned into.

Anyway, that would have to be enough hickeys for now.

“I think I’ve debased you enough for now, don’t you think?” She pulled back from the kiss, but not from his touch. Her voice was unsteady, but she didn’t care. There was no point in hiding how worked up he made her when it was obvious in so many other ways.

His cheeks were flushed, and his lips parted, when James opened his eyes to look at her, his pupils were like black holes in a sea of blue. “I love you, Natalia, and I don’t care who knows it.” He shook his head, disagreeing with himself. “I love you and I want the world to know.”

Natasha swallowed, mouth dry, and heart beating hard enough to drown out any remnants of worry. Her hand shook when she traced the line of his jaw. “I love you.”

Loosening her legs around his hips, she pushed his hand out of the way, unbuckled his belt, and opened his pants, to push them and his underwear down. His cock sprang free, deceptively soft skin covering his hard length, and she guided it to her, the head warm to the touch when he pressed it against her folds.

He sunk into her. Not rushing it, but not going slow either. That lovely stretch as he filled her, buried himself in her completely. When he was inside all the way, James paused and leaned his forehead against hers. His warm breath wafted over her skin, the warmth of his body engulfing her. Oh, that new aftershave was a good one. Breathing it in with the heat of his body made her head spin. Natasha caught his mouth in a breathless kiss. Didn’t break it till he finally started moving.

He pushed the dress higher up on her hips. Watching intently as he pulled out and then pushed back inside her. Hypnotized by how easily she took him, maybe. Either way, it was cute seeing how utterly captivated he was. And it felt amazing to have him fuck her open like this. All slow and relentless.

“I love the way you look at me.” She meant it to tease him, but it came out as the declaration of love it was.

He looked up, a soft smile playing on his lips. “That’s ‘cos I love looking at you.”

She laughed and James jerked helplessly against her and his eyes fell shut for a moment. It was a good look on him, so Natasha clenched her inner muscles around him again, this time deliberately.

“You’re gonna make me embarrass myself if you keep that up,” he said, his voice unsteady.

“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing.” There was something endearing about the few times he’d failed to keep himself from coming before he’d made her come at least once. He always seemed all indignant afterward, as if it was some great insult. “I love watching you come.”

“It is if I don’t get to make you come, too.” He was frowning now.

“Hmm,” she said, as if deliberating a serious request. Natasha slid a hand up to cup her breast, rubbing her thumb over her nipple. The fabric of her dress and bra was too thick for it to be more than pleasant, so she rubbed a little harder, making it pebble under her touch. That was more like it. “How about I make myself come and you fuck me through it? Then I get to watch you come.”

James groaned but didn’t stop moving. He was going to pay her back for that, no doubt. Make her come more times than she could count before he even let her touch his cock. But it would be worth it. Just looking at him now was worth it. The flush high on his cheeks, the lock of hair that had worked itself free from his bun and now stuck to his forehead, the way his eyes couldn’t seem to settle on any part of her.

Natasha leaned back against the mirror and slipped her free hand between her legs, slipping it further to stroke his cock as he fucked into her. Oh, that lovely shiver that tore itself loose from the base of his spine as she tightened her fingers around him.

Fun as it might be to torment him, they had made a deal. Drawing her fingers back, she found her clit and rubbed along either side of it, fingers so close together they were touching. He had done such a wonderful job of winding her up and it wouldn’t take long. Her skin felt too tight, her dress too warm and constricting all of a sudden. She was going to get stains on it, and she couldn’t bring herself to care. Pleasure built until she couldn’t speak. It was all she could do to keep her eyes open to watch James, beautiful James. Wonderfully focused James, who kept to his promise and fucked her while she brought herself closer and closer to the edge.

Her moan turned into a sob as the tension finally snapped, and she came, shaking with it. Natasha was faintly aware of how he curled himself over her, finding his mouth blind, as his cock pulsed inside her. They kissed, open-mouthed and panting, swallowing each other’s moans.

It took a while for the world to return, and when it did, it did so with a vengeance. James’ weight on top of her, as lovely as it was, was nearly suffocating with how warm she felt. Her skin was sticky with sweat and she didn’t look forward to checking the state of her makeup or hair.

She swatted his shoulder, feeling as weak as a newborn kitten. “Now I didn’t get to watch you come.”

“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself,” he said, raising his head and not looking the least bit sorry. He finally straightened, but didn’t pull out of her. Instead, he dug out a neatly folded handkerchief from a pocket and wet it in the sink next to her. Only then did James pull out, slipping the fabric between her legs to clean her and the mess they’d made. He lingered there and she could read his thoughts, clear as day. Mostly because she was thinking the same thing. About how he usually loved to clean her by eating her out until either she came or she had to push him away because she couldn’t stand to be touched.

Tempting either way.

“Maybe later. When we’re home,” Natasha said to herself as much as to him and batted his hands away to pull her underwear back into place.

He bit his lip but couldn’t hide the smirk. “Ready for the walk of shame?” he said and folded the handkerchief to clean himself before he pulled his underwear and pants back on.

She really wasn’t, but she couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of her, feeling high on the recent orgasm. Feeling high on him. “No,” she said. “Never in a million years.” They couldn’t even sneak out the back because there was no back entrance, there was one entrance and too many people between them and it. Natasha slipped off the vanity and turned to inspect the damage in the mirror. Her lipstick was gone, but that was no surprise and could easily be fixed. Her eye makeup was smudged but not beyond saving. Her hair was messier than what could possibly be mistaken for on purpose, so she wet her fingers and dragged them loosely through her hair. There. Now she was presentable, at least.

James stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. “Having second thoughts?” He looked flushed and his hair wasn’t quite as neat as it had before their, ah, tryst, but not bad either. His neck was dotted with very obvious hickeys. They would be gone before noon tomorrow, judging from how a few of them were turning yellow at the edges, but right now they were red and purple and impossible to miss. He could button his shirt all the way and put his tie back on, and they would still be obvious.

Marked up by her for the world to see. She shivered.

“No,” Natasha said, and it was the absolute truth. Gossip or no gossip, the truth about them was out, and it was the best feeling in the world. She turned in James’ arms and looked up at him. “Never in a million years,” she repeated.

He just grinned and kissed her.

After they had cleaned the lipstick off him again and she had applied another fresh layer on herself, James went to the door, unlocked it, and said, “Here goes nothing.” Then he opened the door and froze.

His wide back blocked her view of whatever had surprised him, so Natasha stepped to the side to see past him. The three women had left and in their place was one Steven Grant Rogers. He had been looking at his phone, but he looked up and put it away when he noticed them. The anger was gone, replaced by a serene, if somewhat lopsided, smile.

“Steve?” James phrased it as a question, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She couldn’t blame him.

Steve sighed and stood, brushing his hands over his thighs in an almost absent-minded gesture. “For a couple of supposedly world-class spies, you two are terrible at keeping your private affairs private.”

Natasha opened her mouth, but absolutely nothing came out. He knew about them, had known for a while, was the first thought that popped into her mind. The question of how he knew came in at a close second, then followed by the realization that he’d been putting on an act all evening. What eventually made it past her lips was, “You knew?”

“You vindictive asshole,” James said, ever the diplomat. At least it sounded like he’d arrived at the same conclusion as she had. He stepped out of the restroom and stalked towards Steve, with Natasha following close behind.

“What would your mother say if she could see you now?” The small smile pasted on his face was the one he used when he was addressing the press as Captain America.

“Oh, grow the fuck up,” James shot back instantly.

This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. “Steve,” Natasha began.

“I need to grow up? What are you, a couple of teenagers?” He gestured at James’ neck.

“The double date?” He folded his arms over his chest, looking like he’d rather use his arms to punch someone, preferably Steve. “That was you yanking my chain?”

“I was giving you a chance to come clean, Buck.” One hundred percent insincere.

“No, you weren’t. You were being an asshole.”

Steve shrugged and didn’t contradict him.

“Fuck off. Why didn’t you say something instead of acting like an asshole?”

“Why didn’t you?” For the first time that evening, Steve sounded hurt.

Natasha reached for him, brushing his forearm before she let go. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you. We didn’t mean to hurt you, that was never part of the plan.”

“And this was?” He pointed at James’ neck again.

The laugh that tried to force its way out was born from tension rather than amusement, she choked it down all the same. “No, this was the backup plan to the backup plan to the backup plan. Or something like that. I’ve honestly lost count.”

Steve just frowned at her.

“We’ve been trying to tell you since the hospital.”

He opened his mouth to argue, then shut it again, rubbing a hand over his forehead and sitting back down on the couch behind him. “Was that why we ran into Bucky at that bookstore when you were helping me look for a gift for Sharon?“

She nodded, walked over to him, and sat down, bumping his arm with her shoulder. “And why Sam just happened to cancel, and I just happened to be at the new bar James was taking you to. And all the other plans that got ruined.”

Steve groaned and let his head drop into his hands. When he finally looked up, there was a tired smile on his face. “You two are inviting Sharon and me for dinner at your place, or I’m never speaking to either of you again.”

“Okay, but how did you figure it out?” James said.

Steve looked up at him, probably considering letting them stew for a while longer, then he shrugged and said, “You both started having black and white cat hair on your clothes months ago. Not often and not a lot, but enough for me to notice. And let’s not forget that time I almost walked in on the two of you in your apartment at the Tower. Or when I caught you sleeping in her hospital bed.”

James shook his head and held out his hand for the other man, pulling him off the couch and into a hug when he took it.

“At least you’re not married,” Steve said after they broke the hug, and he meant it as a joke, that was obvious. Except—

James winced. It wasn’t obvious, just a small twitch on one side of his mouth. To anyone who knew him, it was as good as a full-body wince.

“You’re married?” Disbelief dripped off his words.

“James?” said Natasha, getting up and joining the two.

“D’you remember that mission in Moldova? The job with the assistant who was selling intel?”

She did. She’d just forgotten all about the work that had gone into their covers. The paperwork had included a marriage certificate and even a pair of wedding rings that she had hated giving back when they had returned to the Red Room after a successful mission.

“Ooh, yeah. I guess we still are.”

***

They might have gotten out of the Tower a lot faster if Steve’s indignant shout hadn’t drawn a crowd. Might even have made it out in half the time if Clint hadn’t been in that crowd. As it was, it took them several hours and even more excuses before James and Natasha could escape and make their way home.

It was worth it in the end. They had a lot of friends to make amends to for the lies, but at least they could do it together.