Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"The kiss is long and sweet and filled with a million promises that neither girl knows how to put into words. As they pull back and look into each other’s glistening eyes, Ingrid realizes: this is what love feels like, isn’t it?"

As always, Midge reads the last section of what she wrote that night aloud. Especially satisfied with that last line, she decides it’s time to go to bed. Her bright blue eyes are fighting to remain open. She exits out of Google Docs and closes her laptop before standing up from her desk chair and climbing into bed. She snuggles under the covers and falls asleep to images of her book’s protagonist, Ingrid, kissing her girlfriend, Alice, under the stars.

XXX
Thursday September 23rd
7:22 am

Midge wakes up to the smell of burning. This isn’t at all unusual. Though her roommate, Teresa, loves to cook, she isn’t particularly good at it. Midge opens her eyes, but quickly closes them again at the sight of the bright sunlight filtering through the window. She groans. She knows she should go help Teresa. She can hear the girl coughing and sputtering, and the burning scent is growing more intense by the second. All she wants to do though is drift back off to sleep. That’s unfortunately not possible though. In addition to Teresa’s predicament, Midge has class at 9:00. So with a heavy sigh and wide yawn, she slowly rises from her bed. She puts her slippers on before making her way down the hall and to the kitchen. She takes in the sight of Teresa at the sink, running a smoking pan under the faucet. Dark tendrils of smoke are rising from the stove burner. Midge’s nose wrinkles at the smell of burnt eggs. She hurries to open a window.

Teresa turns to her, brown eyes wide, and groans. “Sorry, Midge.”

Midge can’t be frustrated with the girl when she gives her those adorable puppy eyes. She breathes in the cool autumn air wafting through the window before turning and giving Teresa a small, reassuring smile.

“That’s alright, Teresa. Why don’t I make us some pancakes?”

A wide smile replaces the frown on her friend’s face. She smooths down her wavy brown hair, which got rather frizzy from all her running around. 

“Pancakes?!” she exclaims. “Really?! Thank you so much, Midge!”

She turns the faucet off and sets the pan down in the sink before rushing over to Midge and pulling her into a tight hug. Midge gives her a squeeze before pulling back. She pushes her long auburn hair behind her shoulders before walking over to the refrigerator. She brings out the carton of eggs and jug of milk, setting them on the counter. It’s a good thing she loves cooking as much as Teresa does.

XXX

Classes seem to drag on forever today. Being an English major comes with its fair share of literature classes. She loves reading and writing, but sometimes the sheer amount of books she has to analyze and discuss each day makes her a little dizzy. She may be a junior, but there’s only so much reading and analysis a person can get used to. Even her poetry class, which she loves, feels like it has no end in sight. This always happens when she has something exciting after school planned. It’s when she wants classes to be over as quickly as possible that they decide to go by at a snail’s pace. She’s going to hang out with Barbie and Ken this afternoon at their favorite hangout spot, the campus smoothie bar called Fruit Fusion. Back home in Willows, Wisconsin, there was a smoothie shop called Buster’s they’d spent many afternoons at since they were kids. When moving to Malibu to attend Malibu University, Midge and Ken following Barbie there like they’d always followed her everywhere, they’d lamented that there wouldn’t be such amazing smoothies anywhere in Malibu. Though no smoothie can hold a candle to the smoothies at Buster’s, the Fruit Fusion smoothies are still absolutely delicious and the shop is a perfect place to hang out.

She’s so occupied with thinking about her afternoon plans that she doesn’t realize the person sitting next to her is trying to get her attention until they reach over and nudge her. She blinks as she comes out of her stupor. It’s Keaton, a boy who annoys her to no end. He’s always asking her for poetry ideas, and that’s undoubtedly what he’s about to do. She looks to the front of the room where Professor Smith is lecturing. She can’t talk right now.

“Later,” she whispers to Keaton.

He looks affronted, like she’d said something terribly offensive. She resists the urge to roll her eyes at his blatant display of entitlement. She listens to the lecture with renewed focus, gaze never straying from Professor Smith, determined to not meet Keaton’s eye.

As soon as Professor Smith dismisses them, she grabs her backpack hurriedly. She’s about to rush out of the room when Keaton steps in front of her. She plasters a polite smile on her face, but in reality all she wants to do is duck past him and sprint out of the room.

“What are you writing about for our next poetry assignment?” he asks, skipping the pleasantries completely.

“I don’t know yet,” she lies.

Of course she knows. She always knows what she’s going to write about once an assignment is given. She’s not going to tell him though. Even if he can’t copy her completely, he’ll inevitably write something similar. He has no right to use her like this. The smile on her face gets harder and harder to maintain as indignation rises within her.

He narrows his eyes, which are nearly covered by his wavy brown bangs. “Are you sure you don’t know?”

Her eyebrow raises of its own accord. This boy has some serious audacity.

“I’m sure.” Her tone is clipped now, her patience wearing thin. “Excuse me, but I’ve really got to get to lunch.”

That part isn’t a lie. She smooths down her skirt before walking around him and hurrying from the room. As she exits, she allows herself an eye roll. She wishes he would just leave her alone. Why does he come to her for ideas anyway? It’s not like she’s some star writer. Definitely not. She’s just a student who loves to write.

XXX
2:23 pm

She’s still stewing when she arrives at the smoothie bar two hours later. As she takes in the sight of Barbie and Ken sitting at a table though, a wave of calm comes over her. They quickly notice her as she walks in, waving at her excitedly with large grins on their faces. A bright smile quickly replaces the grimace on Midge’s face. She hurries over to the table. They jump to their feet. She hugs Barbie first. The embrace is warm and tight, like it always is with Barbie. Midge finally feels like she can relax, soothed by the familiar touch of her best friend. After they pull back, Midge gives Ken a hug. It’s not as long or tight as her hug with Barbie, but it’s filled with the same warmth and love. After they sit down, Midge immediately turns to Barbie. The girl's blonde hair is pulled back in a ponytail and her blue eyes are as bright as ever. 

“Ugh Barbie, it’s been too long! I missed you so much!”

Barbie giggles. “It’s only been a week, Midge, but of course I missed you too.”

“So tell me more about your modeling gig!” Midge exclaims, eyes widening in anticipation.

“Excuse me, ladies,” Ken interjects, “but didn’t we come here for smoothies?”

Midge scoffs. “You go get the smoothies, Ken! I need to hear about Barbie’s modeling!”

Ken pouts, rolling his sky blue eyes. “Well, I want to hear about it too, but I’m thirsty!”

Barbie giggles again, amused as always by her friends’ bickering. “I won’t talk about anything big until you come back, Ken.”

Ken frowns doubtfully. “Promise?”

Barbie claps her hand to her chest. “Have I ever lied to you, Ken?”

“Okay, okay,” he relents. “Orders?”

Midge grins. “Strawberry banana please!”

Barbie smiles at her friend’s enthusiasm. “Pineapple please.”

“Coming right up!” Ken exclaims.

He smooths his dirty blonde hair down before walking towards the counter. He always cares so much about looking perfectly presentable.

Midge’s eyes widen as she suddenly thinks of something. “Your surprise date you planned for Raquelle! I know you said it went well, but I need more details!”

Midge giggles at the goofy lovestruck expression that forms on Barbie’s face. Even after being with Raquelle for a year and a half, Barbie still gets that look any time the girl is brought up. Midge will admit it was hard for her when Barbie moved off campus last year to live in an apartment with Raquelle. She couldn't help but feel jealous, like Barbie was choosing Raquelle over her. Midge and Barbie were roommates freshman year, and to think that she was losing Barbie as early as sophomore year was agonizing for Midge. She quickly realized though that she wasn’t losing Barbie. Barbie was still always there for her without fail, and even if they didn’t spend as much time together as before, Barbie still took as much time as she could out of her busy schedule to spend with her. With the demands of Barbie’s fledgling modeling career, sometimes they’d have to go a week or more without seeing each other, but that made it all the sweeter when they did get together.

Barbie spends about two minutes alone describing how beautiful Raquelle looked in her red dress, but Midge hangs onto every word. Seeing her best friend so in love makes her absolutely overjoyed.

When Ken returns with their smoothies and he asks her how her day went, she’s surprised to find that she no longer wants to vent about Keaton. She thought that’s all she’d want to do when she saw Barbie and Ken, but being in the presence of her friends has evaporated any negative feelings she’d held. So instead, she tells them about her ideas for her poetry assignment.

“The prompt is something nature-based and I was thinking of writing about that hiking spot we’d always go to in Willows.”

Ken smiles. “Aww I miss going there.”

“Well, we’ll need to go there more next summer,” says Barbie. “We only went like once this summer, right? We need to step up our hiking game!”

Midge giggles. “We sure do! We were such lazy bums this summer. We mostly just played video games at your house.”

“Well, to be fair Barbie’s family has the most high-tech video gaming system in the world!” Ken exclaims, eyes shining with excitement.

Ken has always been a huge technology nerd for as long as Midge can remember. She knows he would give anything to have Barbie’s high-tech video gaming system in his house. Nobody in Willows has the amount of money that the Roberts family does though. Midge and Ken were always deemed the lucky kids by their peers in Willows, getting to be best friends with the rich girl. Midge and Ken don’t love Barbie for her money though. They love her for her kindness, her compassion, the way she'd do anything for her loved ones. They know the real Barbie behind all the glitz and glamor.

When the conversation turns to plans for later today, Midge groans. Barbie chuckles.

“I know what that groan means. How many hours are you working today?”

“Only two,” Midge replies, “but golly I’m so tired. I just want to go home and go to sleep. I don’t know if I’m even going to have the energy to work on my book tonight. Don’t get me wrong, being a writing tutor is overall a good job, but dealing with people can be exhausting, for me at least.”

It’s no secret that Midge isn’t as outgoing as Barbie and Ken, who are known for their charisma.

Barbie frowns sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Have you checked to see if your appointment slots are full?”

Midge nods. “Yeah, I checked before I came. I just have one appointment scheduled so far with a girl named Summer Gordon.”

Barbie’s jaw drops. “Summer Gordon? Star of the soccer team and basketball team Summer Gordon?!”

Midge scoffs playfully. “As if I’d know.”

Barbie rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Okay, true. Well, you’re in for quite an appointment if it’s that Summer Gordon. I’ve heard she’s a real riot.”

Chapter Text

Thursday September 23rd
3:48 pm

Midge walks into the writing center with a smile on her face. Her time with Barbie and Ken put her in an excellent mood and now she's ready for whatever the day throws at her. She greets the receptionist at the front desk as she walks by. 

“Hey, Sandra.” 

Sandra waves, a bright smile on her face. “Hey, Midge.” 

The writing center always has a pleasant atmosphere. Even when Midge is tired or frustrated and doesn't feel like working, she knows she's supported here. Her boss, Morgan, is the personification of kindness and every one of her coworkers is sweet. 

She sits down at one of the circular tables. There are a few other sessions going on around her. She brings out her phone, planning to scroll through Instagram until her four o’ clock session begins. As she scrolls though, her stomach begins to flutter with nerves. What did Barbie mean when she said that this Summer girl is a riot? She kneads her bottom lip between her teeth, a nervous habit of hers. 

At 4:00, she places her phone back in her pocket and looks towards the front of the room. Not every student is punctual, but it doesn't hurt to check. Nobody's there, so Midge draws her phone out again, going back to her scrolling. She likes a photo of Barbie’s. In the photo Barbie and Raquelle are at the beach, standing next to each other on the shore, waves rolling behind them. Barbie's arms are wrapped around Raquelle. Barbie's looking at the camera with a wide smile on her face, but Raquelle is too entranced by Barbie to do anything but look up at her. The goofiest lovestruck expression is on her face. Midge giggles. Raquelle may act stone cold a lot of the time and admittedly it took some time for Midge to warm up to her, but when it comes to Barbie, Raquelle turns into the biggest softie. Seeing Barbie, her closest friend, so happy warms Midge’s heart. She hopes she can find a love like that someday. 

She starts as a person is suddenly standing in front of her. She quickly shoves her phone back into her pocket. The moment she looks up and her and Summer’s eyes meet, she freezes. She’s suddenly speechless as her vision is consumed by waves of honey blonde hair and deep brown eyes. Summer is tall, lean, and undoubtedly muscular, but her legs and arms are covered by turquoise leggings and a gray hoodie. Her skin is tanned. She looks like she belongs at the beach, surfing the waves and soaking up the sun. Summer is a fitting name for her. 

She doesn’t realize she’s staring until a frown replaces Summer’s previously neutral expression. Midge blinks, coming out of her stupor entirely as the girl begins to speak. 

“Uhh hellooo…anybody in there? Am I going to be tutored or what?” 

Midge freezes as shock courses through her. Did she hear Summer right? Maybe she’s just joking around, she reasons. She clears her throat, doing her best to school her face into a friendly smile before answering. 

“Sorry about that. Yes, my name is Midge and I will be your tutor today. How are you doing?” 

“Fine,” Summer quickly replies. She sits down across from Midge. Immediately she starts tapping her foot. “How long do I have to be here?” 

Midge has to rein in the shocked expression fighting to overtake her face. So apparently Summer wasn’t teasing. She’s just plain rude. She’s never had to deal with a student who’s this rude before, but she has to stay professional. She takes a deep breath before answering. 

“As long as you’d like, but typically appointments are recommended to last at least half an hour, so we can make some progress.” 

Summer scoffs, a flash of irritation crossing her face. “I don’t have time for progress. Not with writing at least. I need to practice for my soccer game on Saturday.” 

“I don’t see how that’s my problem” is what Midge wants to say, but she absolutely can’t be snarky right now. She needs to maintain her professionalism. There’s another problem though. She has no idea how to respond. The silence between the girls gets thicker and thicker as Midge racks her brain for an answer. Summer looks more and more annoyed as the seconds pass. She’s opening her mouth, undoubtedly about to make another rude comment, when Midge finally replies. 

“Well, I can’t force you to do anything, but you scheduled a tutoring session, so…” She trails off and shrugs, not sure what else she can add. 

Summer scoffs, louder than before. “I never in a million years would have scheduled a tutoring session if my dumbass soccer coach didn’t make me. You really think I want to be here?” 

She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. Midge can’t stop her jaw from dropping, absolutely stunned by this girl’s audacity. Shock is quickly replaced by a burning anger as Summer gives her a glare. 

She forces back a scoff, sighing heavily instead. “Look, you can leave if you’d like, but if your coach wants you to have an appointment, you should probably have it.” 

Summer rolls her eyes so hard, Midge is surprised they don’t stick that way. She turns to Midge with a scowl. 

“Ugh!” she growls. “Like you know what’s best for me!” 

Midge is growing angrier by the second. Her hands curl into fists at her sides. Her heart is pounding, pulse throbbing against her skull. 

“Listen,” she says, her tone clipped. “I may not know what’s best for you, but your coach probably does. You can either work with me or leave. It’s your choice. No one’s holding you at gunpoint.” 

Summer scoffs yet again, an angry scowl on her face. 

“Fine,” she hisses, before bending down and unzipping her backpack, which she’d placed next to her chair. 

She begins to rummage through it. Midge can’t help but take a peek. She has to force back a gasp as she sees the sheer volume of papers stacked haphazardly inside. Midge is a tidy person and she doesn’t know how people can function with that level of uncleanliness. Finally, Summer pulls out her laptop. Midge observes the sports team logo stickers on it. Likely some of the stickers represent their university teams, but Midge wouldn’t know. Summer opens her laptop and immediately rolls her eyes. 

“I hate waiting for this thing to load,” she grumbles. 

Midge can relate, but she knows if she opens her mouth to speak, what will come out is another exasperated remark. She takes deep breaths as Summer’s laptop loads, trying to calm down. She shouldn’t let herself get this worked up. Summer is intentionally egging her on. Why is Midge giving in to the bait? She starts kneading her lip again. 

“Ugh, finally!” Summer exclaims, as her laptop finishes loading. 

She takes a moment to bring up her document before shoving the laptop unnecessarily hard across the table. Midge catches it just in time. Her eyes widen. How can Summer be so careless with technology? Laptops are expensive. She must be one of those trust fund babies who doesn’t ever need to worry about money. She almost rolls her eyes at the thought, but is fortunately able to control herself. 

Summer sighs loudly. “There’s my stupid essay. You can read it and tell me how awful it is, but I already know it’s junk.” 

Midge frowns. “I’m not going to say…”

Summer cuts her off. “Ugh, just read it!” 

Midge is clenching her fists so hard now that they’re turning paper white. Her heart pounds even quicker. This girl is about to drive her over the edge. 

“Fine,” she snaps, before beginning to read the document. 

The first thing she notices is that it’s a business proposal assignment. 

“You’re a business major?” she asks, looking up at Summer.

Summer scoffs. “Obviously.”

Midge should really stop asking questions. All she’s going to get is nasty responses. She bites down on her lip harder. As she reads the proposal, more and more flaws in the writing stand out to her. In addition to numerous spelling and grammar mistakes, the topic isn’t clear. This is nothing new to her. Many students she tutors struggle with these things. The real problem lies in how she’s going to discuss these issues with Summer. The girl clearly can’t stand her for some reason and is going to react irritably to any critiques she gives. Even though spelling and grammar mistakes are usually prioritized last in tutoring sessions, that seems like it’ll be the easiest thing to talk about. 

She clears her throat. “So, I’m noticing some spelling and grammar mistakes. Have you tried spell check? It’s really helpful.” 

Summer rolls her eyes. “Duh.” 

Midge has to yet again resist the urge to roll her eyes. Summer clearly didn’t use spell check. She’s just trying to save face. She racks her brain for what else to say. Really what else can she say? Summer is going to shoot down any suggestion she makes. 

“Well, maybe try again?” She wishes she didn’t sound so uncertain. 

“Fine,” Summer snaps. 

A heavy silence descends on them then. Midge is entirely clueless as to what to say. 

Finally, after what feels like hours of quiet, Summer speaks, tone as harsh as ever. “Is that all?”

Midge closes her eyes for a second. She hates lying, but she can’t do this anymore. She opens her eyes and forces a small smile. 

“Yep. Those are really the main problems. Just try spell check again and you should be fine.” 

“Thank God that’s over,” Summer grumbles, before standing up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder, and quickly walking away. 

Midge sits in stunned silence, her heart still pounding wildly. Did that really just happen? 

XXX

Midge fumes the whole way back to her dorm. The nerve that girl has! How could she be so disrespectful?! Was she raised by wolves?! What did Midge ever do to her?! She doesn’t even realize she’s arrived back at her dorm until she suddenly realizes her door is in front of her. She quickly takes her key out of her backpack and unlocks the door, burning with the desperate urge to collapse onto the couch. 

As soon as she does just that, her phone starts vibrating. 

“Ugh!” she groans. “What now?!”

She brightens though as she sees the caller ID. She quickly answers.

“Hi, Mom!” she exclaims. 

“Hi, sweetie.” 

She immediately notices the apologetic tone in her mom's voice. She narrows her eyes. Is her mom about to cancel their video chat again? Her heart begins to pound for what feels like the hundredth time that day. 

She clears her throat. “How are you doing? Are we still on for video chatting at seven?” 

She cringes as she's answered with silence. It's a long moment before her mom replies, voice filled with regret. 

“I’m sorry, honey, but I’m going to have to cancel.” 

As usual, the woman gives no reasoning. Midge swallows, her throat suddenly thick. She takes a deep, shaky breath. 

“Yeah, that's fine, Mom.” 

Her mom sighs. “Was your day okay?” 

Midge thinks. Was her day okay? Her outing with Barbie and Ken was extremely pleasant, but the way Keaton bothered her in class and her godawful session with that grade A jerk, Summer? And now her mom backing out on their video chat for the third time this month? Truthfully the bad outweighs the good by a landslide, but she doesn't want to explain her problems to her mom, so she lies. 

“It was okay. How was yours?” 

“It was fine.” 

Midge gets the feeling by her mother's defeated tone that her day wasn't the best either. That’s not surprising.

“Well, I have to go, honey. Sorry about the video chat.” 

“It's fine,” Midge murmurs. 

She curses the stinging in her eyes. 

“Bye, love,” her mom says, her voice soft. 

“Bye,” Midge whispers. 

After she hangs up, she doesn't know how long she sits there, blinking back tears. 

XXX
6:14 pm

By the time Teresa comes home, Midge has pulled herself together. She's bringing a box of spaghetti out of one of the kitchen cupboards when Teresa walks in. 

“Hey!” the girl exclaims. 

Though her friend’s enthusiasm is as endearing as ever, Midge can't find it in herself to smile. Teresa frowns, immediately noticing Midge's lack of cheer. 

“What's wrong?” she asks, her voice softening. “Bad day?” 

Midge nods. She opens her mouth to elaborate, but she’s at a loss for what to say. There are so many thoughts and feelings churning within her, but she has no idea how to even begin to convey them. Teresa smiles sympathetically. 

“Hey, why don't we order some Chinese? How about Panda Express? You could use some good old junk food right now.” 

That brings a tiny smile to Midge’s face. 

XXX

The minute Midge and Teresa sit down on the couch with their food, Midge can’t keep it in any longer. 

“Ugh!” she growls. 

Teresa flinches, clearly not having expected Midge’s outburst. 

“Summer Gordon is the worst!” Midge exclaims, fists clenching again at just the memory of the girl’s scoffs and glares. 

Teresa blinks. “Summer Gordon? The Summer Gordon?!” 

Midge rolls her eyes. “That’s exactly how Barbie reacted. But let me tell you, that girl is the worst! She’s rude and conceited and sooo obnoxious!” 

Teresa frowns. “What did she do?” 

Midge scowls. “She was so rude to me during our tutoring session! She kept rolling her eyes at me and scoffing and saying rude remarks! Ugh! I just let the session end early because I couldn't take it anymore!” 

Her shoulders slump at the memory. 

“I’m kind of ashamed about that,” she admits. 

Teresa places her hand on her back. “Don’t be ashamed. You shouldn’t have to put up with that.” 

The indignation in her friend’s voice brings a smile to Midge’s face. She never thought she’d need any friends other than Barbie and Ken, but after becoming roommates with Teresa last year, she quickly realized that there’s room for more. 

“Thanks,” MIdge murmurs, softly bumping Teresa’s shoulder with her own. 

“No problem!” Teresa exclaims, before popping a piece of orange chicken in her mouth. 

Midge giggles before taking a bite of her honey walnut shrimp. It’s as delicious as always. 

“Want to watch a movie?” Teresa suggests. 

“Sure,” Midge agrees, smiling softly. “What did you have in mind?” 

Teresa grins. “Come on, Midge. We all know what you want to watch.” 

Midge snorts. “Okayyy. Let’s get our Disney on!” 

Teresa giggles. As she grabs the TV remote from the coffee table, Midge lets out a long breath she hadn’t even been aware she was holding. They decide on Cinderella and as Midge leans back against the cushions, savoring every bite of shrimp, the memories of her awful day finally drift away from the forefront of her mind. 

XXX

Midge only gets about 1,000 words of her book written before her eyes start slipping shut. With the last bit of her remaining strength, she whispers the last sentence to herself. 

"Even when Ingrid is ensconced in Alice’s warm, tight embrace, the sense of loss she perpetually feels still jabs at her heart like a needle."

Chapter Text

Thursday September 23rd
11:44 pm

Summer breathes heavily, sweat streaming down her face, as the familiar movement of the treadmill under her feet melts all the stress of her day away. She looks down at the monitors. She's nearing 5 miles. She grins before increasing the speed by .7 mph. It's time to push herself to her limit. Energetic pop music blares from her earbuds. The gym completely emptied out an hour ago, so she plays her music as loudly as she'd like. Truthfully she doesn't care if people hear her music, but she's gotten complaints about it from other gym goers in the past. She's at 4.9 miles when her phone rings. It's undoubtedly Nikki, calling to bitch at her for still being out. She can't answer now though. She's so close to 5 miles. It's only a minute before her phone rings again. 

“Ugh!” she growls. 

She lets the call go to voicemail again. Just as she reaches 5 miles, her phone rings yet again. Unfortunately, she has no excuse but to answer now. She loves Nikki dearly, but the girl is known for her bossiness. She stops the treadmill before bringing her phone out of her pocket and answering. 

“What?!” she snaps, though she doesn't sound as menacing as she would've liked to due to how hard she's breathing. 

“Girl, where are you?!” Nikki exclaims. “It's almost midnight! You need to answer your damn phone! I thought you were murdered or some shit!” 

Summer rolls her eyes, a wave of irritation crashing through her. 

“I wasn't aware you were my mom!” she bites out between pants. “You think you can just tell me what to do?!” 

Nikki scoffs harshly. “Oh don't go there with me, girl! I know more than anybody what a reckless little shit you are!” 

Summer scoffs just as loudly, irritation heightening to anger. “Tell me how you really feel, why don’t you?!” 

It’s not a particularly good comeback, but she’s exhausted from her workout. 

Nikki sighs deeply. “Girl, you know I love you, but we both know you’re not the most careful person out there. Plus, it’s not healthy to be working out so much. You’re going to pull a muscle or something if you’re not careful!” 

Summer rolls her eyes. “In case you didn’t notice, Nikki, I'm an athlete. I’m more than used to daily workouts. I don’t need you coddling me!”

Nikki scoffs. “Coddling?! As if! I just don’t want to have to be walking around the house getting water and shit for you if you do get hurt! That got real old last year when you sprained your ankle.”

That brings a genuine smile to Summer’s face. Her anger begins to fade. 

She chuckles. “You bitch.”

Nikki scoffs, but it’s quickly followed by a bark of laughter. “Just get home soon, okay? I don’t want you getting mugged or something.”

“As if anybody could get away with mugging me!” Summer exclaims. “I’d kick their ass!”

Nikki chuckles. “I know you would.”

XXX

When Summer enters her dorm, she’s greeted with the sight of Nikki lounging on the couch. She’s scrolling through her phone, but as Summer walks in, she looks up. 

“Hey,” Nikki says before looking down at her phone again. 

“Hey,” Summer replies, walking closer. Suddenly she remembers something and her eyebrow raises. “What are you still doing up anyway? Don’t you have an exam at eight tomorrow?” 

“Aww you remembered? How sweet!” Nikki exclaims, an expression of adoration on her face, but it’s clear by her mocking tone that she’s messing around. 

Summer rolls her eyes. “Fuck you. But seriously, why you up?” 

Nikki sits up and glares. “Waiting for you to come home, dumbass.” 

Summer looks down, chest suddenly flooded with shame. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. 

Nikki’s expression softens. “Girl, it’s fine. I’d probably still be up, not able to put my phone down anyway.”

Summer chuckles, her guilt fading. “True.” 

Nikki grins before wrinkling her nose. “Now go take a shower. You smell nasty!” 

“Bitch,” Summer mutters, before exiting the living room.

As she walks down the hall though, she can’t stop the smile from forming on her face. 

XXX

As usual, Summer lies in bed, scrolling through Instagram, until after two. She’s never able to fall asleep before then. She’s trying to focus on the photos and reels, but her mind keeps straying to her tutoring session this afternoon. What a drag. What was with that tutor of hers? What was her name again? She squints in thought until it comes to her a moment later. Midge. That’s right. Firstly, who names their child Midge in the freaking 21st century? Secondly, why did Midge get so offended over every little thing Summer said? She supposes she was being pretty bitchy, but she couldn't help it. She was annoyed. Who does Coach Pierce think he is, forcing her to go to tutoring like she’s a kid? She remembers that stupid stern expression on his face when he’d said to her, “Summer, your chances are running out. You need to get your grades up or I’m going to have to kick you off the team. Your grades are going to have to be a C or higher. You’ve got three D's right now. I’ve been very generous letting you stay team captain for this long.” She scoffs at the memory. She already knows she’s a dumb piece of shit who’s too stupid to raise her grades. Coach doesn’t need to rub it in. She won’t admit it, but the thought of being kicked off the soccer team fills her with sharp waves of panic. Sports is the only thing she’s good at. She’s nothing without them. If she’s kicked off the team, who even is she? She sighs deeply. It’s a long time before she gets to sleep.

XXX
Friday September 24th

Classes drag on forever as usual. All she wants is for this day to be over so she can go to soccer practice. All morning she consoles herself with the thought that she’s going to meet up with Nikki for lunch. 

She barely gets through the last class before lunch. She’s tapping her foot the whole time, brimming with energy. Sitting down for long periods of time is torture for her. It’s always been that way and it’s made school a hassle for her from the very beginning. When the professor dismisses them, she jumps to her feet and slings her backpack over her shoulder quickly. She’s about to hurry out when her professor, Professor Owens, calls her. 

“Summer, may I please speak with you for a minute?” 

She closes her eyes and groans. Not now! She needs to get to lunch with Nikki! The air of the classroom is stifling. She needs to go outside and breathe some fresh air. Still, she can’t exactly disobey the teacher, at least not without getting in loads of trouble. She’d never hear the end of it from her mom. She sighs heavily before making her way through the throng of students over to Professor Owen’s desk. 

“Yes?” She tries to keep her tone pleasant, but it’s a challenge. 

He adjusts his glasses before looking at her. 

“Summer, would you mind scheduling an office hours meeting with me? There are some things we should discuss.” 

Summer resists the urge to roll her eyes. As if she didn’t see this coming. No matter how frustrated she is though, she nods and gives him a small smile. 

“Sure, Professor.” 

He smiles back. “Perfect. Have a good day, Summer.” 

“You too,” she replies. 

As soon as she turns around, she rolls her eyes. 

“Jerk,” she mutters under her breath, as she exits the classroom. 

Realistically, she knows he’s just trying to help her, but she can’t help being annoyed. She’s absolutely done hearing about how much she sucks. 

XXX
12:18 pm

The noise of the cafeteria doesn’t usually bother Summer, but she’s so on edge that the clamor of students is making her want to crawl out of her skin. She bites into her ham sandwich unnecessarily hard, wincing as her teeth click together. 

“Oh, by the way,” Nikki says, flipping her wavy black hair over her shoulder, “how was your tutoring session yesterday?” 

Summer stiffens. She desperately wants to avoid this topic right now, but Nikki is looking at her expectantly and she doesn’t feel like arguing. 

“Fine,” she mumbles. “My tutor was annoying though.” 

Nikki scoffs. “Girl, everyone annoys you.” 

Summer glares, stiffening even further. 

“Not true!” she snaps, staring challengingly into Nikki's brown eyes. 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “Okay, maybe not everybody, but still you’re not hard to tick off.” 

Summer supposes Nikki is right, but she’s done hearing about her flaws for the day. 

“Whatever,” she grumbles. 

She goes back to eating her sandwich. Nikki raises an eyebrow, but stops speaking, clearly sensing that Summer isn’t in the mood to talk. Summer is grateful for this. She’d never admit it, but Nikki is a good friend, and quite honestly the only true friend she’s ever had. Isn’t that sad? her mind muses. One good friend in 21 years of being alive. Summer scowls, pulling herself out of her thoughts. Now isn’t the time for a pity party. She needs to change the topic before her thoughts get really dark. 

“How was your exam?” she asks, trying to sound at least a little cheerful. 

Nikki raises her eyebrow again, clearly surprised by Summer’s sudden mood change. 

“It was alright. I think I missed a few questions, but overall I’d say I did pretty good.” 

Nikki continues talking, moving onto the topic of her YouTube vlogs a minute later, and Summer listens raptly, thankful for the distraction. If she’s not distracted, that’s when the thoughts come. 

XXX
5:42 pm

She’s walking towards the soccer field when her phone rings. She sighs. Hopefully it’s Nikki, though she’s not sure why the girl would be calling her. She knows she has soccer practice at 6:00. She pulls her phone from her pocket and as she sees the caller ID, her heart drops to the pit of her stomach. Bane of my existence (aka her mom) is calling. As much as she’d love to ignore the call, she knows the wrath she faces from her mom will be even worse than the phone conversation. So with a heavy sigh and groan, she answers. 

“Hey, Mom.” She winces as the words come out more morosely than she’d intended them to be. 

“Well, good to talk to you too,” her mom says sarcastically. 

Summer rolls her eyes. Of course her mom would pick up on her reluctance to talk. As usual, she has to save face. 

“Sorry,” she says, making sure her tone is more cheerful. “I’m just tired.” 

There’s a moment of silence and she wonders if there’s a problem with the connection before her mom speaks. 

“Tired from what?” She scoffs. “Tired from video games? What you should be tired out from is studying, which you clearly haven’t been doing. Three D's and one C, Summer?! Really?!” Her voice rises in pitch until she’s nearly screeching. 

Summer winces, drawing the phone away from her ear slightly. As is always the case when her mom yells at her, a lump forms in her throat. She takes a deep breath, composing herself like she always does, before answering in a calm, level tone. 

“I’m sorry, Mom. I’ll work harder. I started working with a tutor. I’ll get my grades up.” 

She winces. Will the writing center even have her back? Midge probably told the manager about Summer’s awful attitude. 

“Well, that’s good at least.” Her mom’s voice is still filled with scorn, but at least she’s not yelling anymore. 

Summer is approaching the soccer field now. A few of her teammates and Coach Pierce are already here. Two of her teammates are stretching and one is dribbling a ball. 

She clears her throat. “I’ve got to go, Mom. Soccer practice is about to start. It’s been nice talking with you though.” 

Well, that’s the biggest lie of the century, Summer thinks to herself. 

Her mom sighs deeply. “I wish I could say the same. Bye, Summer.” 

As her mom hangs up and Summer puts her phone back in her pocket, she tries to ignore how much her mom’s words hurt her. The ache in her chest is heavy as she approaches her teammates. Coach Pierce is standing a few feet away from them, doing something on his phone. She forces a smile onto her face. 

“Hey, guys!” she exclaims. 

The girls smile and greet her. Coach gives her a wave and a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. She throws down her ball, which she’s been holding under her arm, and begins dribbling it. Thank God she’s finally here. 

XXX

All soccer practice, Summer hadn’t been able to get her mom’s venomous words out of her head, and she still can’t as she walks back to her dorm. It’s not like this is anything new. Her mom doesn’t like her, plain and simple. That fact never stops hurting though. 

As she unlocks the door and comes in, her gaze lands on Nikki who is filming a vlog in the living room. She’s holding a black minidress up to herself and discussing in an enthusiastic voice how it’s the fit of the month and why everyone should wear it. The color of the dress contrasts perfectly with her dark brown skin. Summer rolls her eyes affectionately. Nikki always gets excited about fashion, and even more so when she’s advertising it. She shuts the door softly and walks quietly to her bedroom, not wanting to disturb Nikki’s vlog. She doesn’t shut the door because Nikki is undoubtedly going to come talk her ear off in a minute anyway. She collapses onto her bed with a sigh. She knows she should go work out at the gym now, but a wave of fatigue has fallen over her. She’s exhausted physically and mentally, but she doesn’t want to admit it, not even to herself. She sits up with a groan. 

“I can’t give up,” she mumbles. “I have to work out.” 

When Nikki walks in a few minutes later, Summer is bringing her workout clothes out of her dresser. She places them on her bed before turning to Nikki.

Summer rolls her eyes. “Knock much?” 

Nikki scoffs. “The door was open! Plus, you’re looking pretty clothed to me!” 

Summer can’t hold back a chuckle. “I’m about to not be though.” 

“Well, I ain’t sticking around for that.” 

Summer laughs and Nikki joins in, a wide grin on her face. 

“Why don’t you give yourself the night off?” Nikki asks, suddenly sounding serious. “You look awful.” 

Summer shoots her a glare. “Rude!” 

Nikki shrugs. “I ain’t calling you ugly, but you look tired as hell.” 

Summer sighs deeply, shoulders slumping. “I have to work out though. I work out every night and that’s the way it has to be.” 

Nikki raises an eyebrow. “Why?” 

“Because I’m team captain,” she replies. “I’m fine.” She realizes her voice sounds too weary to even be half convincing. 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “If you say so. Like I said last night though, don’t hurt yourself. I ain’t waiting on you hand and foot again. You’ll just have to hobble around the house.” 

Summer grins. “Okay. It’s a deal.” 

“Now I’m going to go film another vlog.” 

“Good luck!” 

“Thanks, girl!” 

After Nikki leaves her bedroom, Summer looks down at her bed, eyeing her workout clothes with a scowl on her face. She needs to do this. Even if her muscles are going to burn like fire. Even if she wants nothing more than to go to sleep. Even if the dark thoughts she hates so much won’t stop their ceaseless cycling through her head.

Chapter Text

Tuesday September 28th

Soccer practice is as euphoric as always. Every time she kicks the ball, a wave of adrenaline, the most pleasant feeling in the world to her, surges through her chest. She wishes practice could last forever, or at least long enough to completely forget all her problems. She flinches as Coach Pierce suddenly shouts. 

“Olivia, what was that?! Pay attention!” 

Summer’s eyes land on their newest recruit. It’s obvious that she’s struggling to keep up, but Summer doesn’t approve of Coach’s yelling. She resists the urge to roll her eyes. Poor girl. She shoots Olivia an encouraging smile, but either she doesn’t notice or is too distraught to smile back. Summer frowns. She hates seeing her teammates upset (truthfully she hates seeing anybody upset, even if she doesn’t come off as the most sympathetic person). She’s not really close with any of her teammates. They’re more so casual friends. Sometimes she’ll grab drinks with them or hit the smoothie shop up with them, but they’re not anybody she’d ever be completely herself around. Not like she is with Nikki. Still, she cares about them and wants to see all of them succeed. Coach is pretty much always hard on new recruits. To be fair, he was never like that with Summer, but she’s unusually talented. She’s the only one on the team who never gets critiqued, at least not on her athletic skills. 

As soon as practice is over, Summer makes her way over to Olivia. The girl looks like she could use a pep talk. All the other girls have gone off to the locker room, but she’s still standing in the middle of the field, arms crossed, looking down at the grass. Summer isn’t exactly a pro at comforting people, but nobody else is helping Olivia. 

As she walks up to Olivia, she suddenly feels awkward. What should she say? When Olivia glances her way, giving her a questioning look, she quickly blurts out the most generic advice she can think of. 

“Don’t worry about what Coach says.” She tries to sound and look casual. Her heart pounding isn’t much of a help. She clears her throat before continuing. “He’s like that with every new recruit. He’s just a hardass until he gets to know you and your playing style better. You’re doing just fine.” 

That brings a tiny smile to Olivia’s face. She looks at Summer. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. “That makes me feel a little better.” 

Summer grins. “No prob.” 

Olivia opens her mouth to respond when Coach suddenly appears behind them. Summer frowns as Olivia flinches. The fact that Coach scares the girl makes Summer even sadder for her and more pissed at Coach. 

“Summer, may I speak with you?” 

He sounds friendly enough, but she knows that’s only a facade. She’s aware of what’s coming and she has to bite back a groan at the thought. She plasters a smile on her face before turning to Coach. 

“Sure,” she says, endeavoring to keep her tone light and surprisingly succeeding. 

Olivia shoots her a slightly concerned glance before walking off towards the locker room. As soon as she’s out of earshot, Coach sighs heavily, pinching his forehead. Summer looks down, suddenly filled with shame. She steels herself for what’s about to come out of his mouth. 

“Summer,” he says, the exasperation clear in his voice. “I’ve given you a lot of chances. I can say with a full certainty that you’re one of, if not the best, athletes this university has ever seen. You could undoubtedly make any professional team.” 

Summer is unable to hold back a grin, dread suddenly replaced by pride. The glee is quickly drained from her though by his next words. 

“But you have a D in every class now?” He sighs heavily. “I’ve been very lenient, letting you skirt around the rule of a C grade or higher for this semester, and Coach Martin was just as lenient with you during basketball season last semester. We could both very well get in trouble with higher ups soon if we let this continue. You have to get all your grades up to at least C's within the next month or I’m going to have to let you go. It would kill me to have to do that, so please work hard at school. I’m begging you.” 

Usually Coach chastising her makes her angry, but the only emotion she feels now is utter defeat, sitting heavy in the pit of her stomach. Her chest aches. He’s looking at her, clearly expecting her to respond, but she’s at a loss for words. She has to think of something though. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles a moment later, unable to come up with anything else. 

She’s being genuine. Truthfully she hates that she’s doing this to him. She knows he wants to see her succeed, but she’s making that extremely difficult for him. 

He sighs heavily again. “I’m not mad at you, Summer. I’m just disappointed.” 

She can’t help but think that that’s the most generic parental thing to say. He must really care about her. She tries to ignore the way that knowledge brings a lump to her throat. 

“I won’t let you down, Coach,” she says, fighting to keep her voice level. 

He nods solemnly and gives her shoulder a pat before walking away. She stands on the field for a minute, breathing deeply. When she’s sure that she’s collected, she makes her way to the locker room. 

XXX
8:42 pm

Summer is lying on the couch, watching South Park, when Nikki arrives back at the dorm. As she shuts the door and walks closer to Summer, her eyebrow raises. 

“Girl, you good?” she asks, the questioning tone of her voice immediately putting Summer on edge. 

Watching South Park and having Panda Express had melted away at least some of her stress, but now it all comes crashing back. The last thing she needs right now is Nikki prying. 

“I’m fine,” she snaps. 

Nikki’s eyebrow raises higher. She looks at Summer intently for a few moments, as if she’s analyzing her, before acquiescing. Without another word, she strides across the room and sits next to Summer. 

“Scooch,” she says, tapping Summer’s leg. 

Summer groans, reluctantly pulling her legs up higher to give Nikki more room. Nikki sighs before turning to her with a smirk. 

“South Park? Again? Why you so obsessed with this show?” 

Summer rolls her eyes, her irritation not fading. 

“Because it’s funny,” she bites out. 

Nikki raises an eyebrow again, but she surprisingly lets Summer’s behavior go for the second time. Though Nikki can be demanding, she’s not the type to force a person to open up, which Summer appreciates. Casting a glance at Nikki, she decides she should stop snapping at her. She sits up, so she can fully face her. 

“How was your date with Sasha?” 

She tries her best to make her tone enthusiastic, but she doesn’t quite pull it off. Luckily, Nikki doesn’t comment. She just smiles, a goofy, lovestruck grin that lifts Summer’s mood slightly. Even if Nikki annoys the hell out of her half the time, she loves seeing her friend happy. 

“It was good,” Nikki says, before letting out a girlish giggle. 

Summer rolls her eyes affectionately. 

“She’s so cute and witty and smart,” Nikki continues, just as enthusiastically. “I can’t believe a girl as pretty as her is so into me.” 

Summer scoffs before giving Nikki’s arm a swat. 

“Girl, what are you going on about?!” she exclaims. “You’re gorg! Say stupid shit like that again, and I’ll smack the hell out of you!” 

Nikki scowls, but it’s clearly fake, as a grin replaces it a second later. 

“Thanks,” she says, her voice uncharacteristically soft. “You’re pretty damn gorg yourself.” 

Summer rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "You’re such a sap.”

Nikki glares.

“But thanks," she quickly adds. 

Nikki smiles. “That’s more like it. Now turn South Park up. I won’t lie, this show is the best.” 

Summer grins. “Right?!” 

Nikki chuckles. Summer grabs the TV remote from the coffee table before turning the volume up. She settles back into the cushions with a relaxed sigh. This is just what she needs, and she gets the feeling that Nikki knows it. 

XXX

Summer tosses and turns in bed that night. As soon as she and Nikki had stopped watching South Park and retired to their bedrooms for the night, Summer’s anxiety had returned full-force. What the hell is she going to do if she can’t get her grades up and Coach kicks her off the team?! The thought circles through her head again and again, and she doesn’t know how much more of it she can take. Her heart is crashing in her chest, her breath is coming in uneven gasps, her throat feels like it’s closing up. She knows these are all telltale signs of a panic attack. She doesn’t want to admit it though, even to herself. She’d thought she was over panic attacks. It’s had to have been at least three years since she had one. She finally can’t take it anymore. She needs to move, or she’s going to stop breathing altogether. 

XXX

Thank God the dorm gym is open 24 hours. As soon as she bursts through the door, she sprints over to a treadmill and hops on. She immediately turns the speed up to 8 mph, warmup be damned. She needs to start running. Now. She’s not sure how long it is before the panic loosens its tight grip on her chest and throat, but finally she can breathe. Still, she doesn’t stop running. It must be past four now, but she knows if she stops, the dreaded thoughts will return. She can’t believe she’s gotten this weak. Her hands clench at her sides.

“You’re not weak,” she hisses. “Look how fast you’re running.” 

She knows her physical capabilities don’t make her strong though. Real strength comes from being able to handle every hurdle that comes your way, and as much as she wants to possess this real strength, it continues to evade her. 

XXX
Wednesday September 29th
11:47 am

She yelps, startling awake, as a finger pokes her shoulder. She quickly looks side to side. As she realizes where she is, her face flushes. She shoots the boy who poked her a glare. An apologetic expression forms on his face. She immediately feels bad. He was doing her a solid, waking her up. She gives him a small smile. 

“Thanks,” she says softly. 

He smiles back. “Of course.” 

He waves before grabbing his backpack and walking out of the classroom. Most students are gone now. As soon as she stands and grabs her backpack, she notices Professor Owens’ eyes on hers. She freezes, the embarrassment quickly returning. She can’t believe she fell asleep. She may not be the best student, but sleeping in class? She hasn’t done that since high school. He motions her over and, despite the intense reluctance that comes over her, she forces herself to obey. When she approaches his desk, she forces herself to meet his eyes. 

He sighs, looking just as awkward as she feels. “Summer, you should really try to stay awake in class. You’re going to miss important material.” 

She nods, her face burning and stomach clenching. She hopes her cheeks aren’t red. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. 

It feels like the hundredth time she’s said that in the last few days. She considers telling him how late she was up, but quickly realizes what a stupid excuse that is. This isn’t elementary school. Her sleeping schedule is her responsibility. 

He sighs again. “I also noticed you haven’t scheduled an office hours appointment with me yet. I really think we should meet soon. Would you like to schedule one now?” 

She nods. It’s not like she can refuse without digging herself an even deeper hole. He types something on his computer and scrolls for a moment before turning to her. 

“Is Friday at three okay?” 

“Yep,” she immediately replies.

Truthfully, she doesn’t even know if she has something going on then. He nods and gives her a small smile. 

“I’ll put you down for that time then. Remember there’s a discussion post due tonight.” 

She nods. 

“Alright. Take care, Summer.” 

She forces a smile onto her face. “Thanks. You too.” 

She turns and walks swiftly out of the classroom. She lets out a long breath as she exits the building and the cool autumn air hits her face. She had no idea going outside would be so refreshing, but she gratefully welcomes the relief. The positive feeling doesn’t last long though. As soon as she enters the cafeteria, the stifling dread returns full force. 

XXX
7:19 pm

Summer groans as her phone rings. She’s walking as quickly as she can back to her dorm after soccer practice, desperately needing to collapse on the couch with a tasty meal. Of course her pleasure has to be delayed further though. She rolls her eyes, knowing full well who it is. Sure enough. Bane of my existence is calling. Her hand trembles as she answers. She knows the beratement that’s coming, and the panic from last night is slowly creeping in again. 

“Hey, Mom.” 

She tries to sound cheerful, but it’s no use. The moment of heavy silence that ensues is even more indication that this isn’t going to go well. She flinches as her mom begins speaking. She winces, hoping none of the students walking past her noticed. 

“A D in every class now? Really, Summer?” 

As usual, her mom’s quietly angry voice is scarier than her explosively angry one. Summer stiffens, the dreaded sensation of panic increasing. She doesn’t answer, knowing more chastisement is coming. 

“I wasn’t aware I’d raised a quitter.” 

The wave of anger that crashes through Summer is so sudden and intense, it nearly takes her breath away. Quitter? Her mom did not just go there. Her hands clench so tightly, her knuckles ache. 

“I’m not a quitter!” she snaps, chest heaving. 

“Don’t you raise your tone at me, young lady!” her mom spits. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll shut up right now!” 

Angry tears burn Summer’s eyes. She can’t do this right now. With a shaking hand, she hangs up and stuffs her phone back in her pocket. Luckily, her mom doesn’t try calling her again. She spends the rest of her walk back to her dorm blinking back tears. The tears make her just as angry as her mom’s deriding words do. Weak, her mind hisses. Quitter. 

XXX

Even when Summer gets back to her dorm, she doesn’t let herself cry. She still stubbornly holds back her tears as she makes her way to the kitchen. She’s immensely grateful that Nikki is off at a concert. She’s sure that just the sight of her friend would send the tears streaming down her face. She throws the liquor cabinet open and roughly grabs a bottle of tequila off the shelf. Her hands are trembling so violently, she nearly drops the bottle. She twists the cap off and without even bothering to pour the amber liquid into a glass, she throws the bottle back and takes a large swig. The strength of the alcohol immediately sends her into a coughing fit, but as soon as her coughs subside, she takes another big sip. This time she manages to not cough. She doesn’t care about the taste. This isn’t about enjoying herself. It’s about getting drunk. Really fucking drunk.

XXX
11:17 pm

Nikki finds her hours later, lying on the couch, fighting to stay awake. As soon as she sees the bottle of tequila sitting on the coffee table, her eyebrow raises. She looks at Summer, an incredulous expression forming on her face. 

“Getting this drunk on a school night? Really, Summer?” 

Summer slowly sits up. Her vision spins, but she needs to face this bitch head-on.

“Fuck you, Nikki!” she snaps. She’s dimly aware of how slurred her words are. “I’ll get drunk anytime I want!”

A flash of anger crosses Nikki’s features, but it quickly fades and her expression softens. 

“Damn girl, you’re really fucking drunk,” she mutters. “I knew something was going on with you.” 

Summer rolls her eyes, which only makes her vision spin faster. She grips the arm of the couch, squeezing her eyes shut. 

Nikki sighs. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” 

Summer wants to protest, but suddenly feels too weak to say a word. 

Nikki sighs again. “Come to think of it, you should probably stay on the couch. I don’t want you falling.” 

At least Summer can agree with her on that. Nikki comes forward, gently placing her hands on her shoulders and easing her into a lying position. She grabs a blanket from the other end of the couch and drapes it over her. Summer can’t stop the relieved sigh that escapes her as the warmth and security of the blanket envelops her. 

“I’m going to get the trash can,” says Nikki. “Do not throw up anywhere else or I will lose it.” 

She walks off towards the kitchen with a huff. Summer would usually roll her eyes or scoff at that, but she’s suddenly too exhausted to do anything but shut her eyes. She’s asleep before Nikki returns with the trash can. 

XXX
Thursday September 30th
7:24 am

The first thing Summer does after her eyes open is lean over and vomit into the trash can. She groans at the burn of the alcohol in her throat and the spasming of her stomach. When the heaves finally slow to a stop, she rests her head back on the pillow with a heavy sigh. She closes her eyes, but they shoot open a second later as Nikki is suddenly standing beside her. 

“You good, girl?” Nikki asks, voice heavy with concern. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person puke for that long.” 

Summer rolls her eyes, but before she can answer, another wave of nausea rushes over her. As she begins vomiting into the trash can again, Nikki makes a disgusted groan. Still, she comes closer to Summer and pats her back. Summer is in too much misery to even be embarrassed that she’s in this state around another person. As her puking slows to a stop, Nikki draws her hand away. Summer can’t suppress a groan as her head throbs with a sharp burst of pain.

“You okay?” Nikki asks, sounding just as worried as before. 

Summer slowly nods, but the motion sends an even more intense flash of pain through her head. She clutches it and groans.

Nikki pats her shoulder. “I’ll get you some Advil and toast. Just hang tight.” 

“Thanks,” Summer croaks. 

Even through the immense discomfort she’s in, the gratitude she feels is nearly overwhelming. She’d never admit this aloud, but she’s never been taken care of like this. 

“Sure thing,” says Nikki, before walking off to the kitchen. 

Summer wishes she could drift back off to sleep, but her splitting headache won’t allow her to. Her thoughts are murky, but one is crystal clear: I can’t believe I’m so fucking stupid. 

XXX
8:37 am

“You sure you’re okay to go to school?” Nikki asks, as Summer struggles to tie her shoelaces. “You’re hungover as fuck.” 

Summer would usually say something like “Thanks, Captain Obvious,” but Nikki just spent more than an hour taking care of her. Being snarky with her right now would be too bitchy even for her. 

“I’ll be fine, Nik,” she assures.

Nikki looks unconvinced. Summer sighs. More than anything she wants to spend the rest of the day curled up on the couch watching South Park, but she can’t give in to the temptation. She can’t be weak. 

“I have three classes, soccer, and tutoring,” she says. Her stomach drops at the thought of another tutoring session, especially when she’s feeling this rotten, but she plows on. “That’s way too much to miss.” 

“Maybe just skip a class or two, so you can get some of your wits back?” 

Summer can’t help but pout at that. “My wits are all here, thank you very much.” 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean, girl.” She hesitates for a second before continuing. “I care about you, you know? I don’t want you overexerting yourself more than you already have.” 

“I know,” Summer murmurs. “Thank you…for caring about me.” Her voice becomes confident when she says her next words. “I can handle this though. I can handle anything.” 

Nikki opens her mouth, like she’s going to say something, but she quickly closes it again. She gives Summer a small smile.

“I know you can…but be careful, okay?”

Summer smiles back. “I will be.” 

She tries to ignore the voice in her head that tells her she’s lying.

Chapter Text

Wednesday September 29th
9:27 pm

Midge giggles as the piece of popcorn sails through the air. She shrieks with delight as she catches it in her mouth. She swallows before pointing at Barbie with a smirk. 

“I told you I could set a record!” she exclaims. “Twenty catches!” 

She lifts her arms in victory. Barbie sits in stunned silence for a moment before smiling and shaking her head. 

“Jeez Midge, I didn’t think twenty catches was possible! I’m hoping the five thousand dollar bet is off?” 

Midge snorts. “I’ll think about it.” 

Barbie giggles, throwing another piece of popcorn at her while she’s distracted. It hits her in the face. 

Midge scowls. “Oh you’ll pay for that!” 

She scoops up a handful of popcorn before chucking every piece at Barbie’s face in quick succession. Barbie shrieks before grabbing a handful of popcorn and doing the same. Their shenanigans quickly turn into a full-on popcorn throwing battle. They jump off the couch, running and ducking as popcorn soars through the air. 

They’re so engrossed in their game that they don’t notice Raquelle has entered the living room until she speaks. 

“What am I looking at?” 

Her tone is as snarky and deadpan as ever. Midge and Barbie slow to a stop before turning to Raquelle, wide grins on their faces. Raquelle has long raven hair, which contrasts perfectly with her deep brown eyes. Her arms are crossed, an annoyed expression on her face, but Midge knows the girl well enough at this point to know she’s not actually irritated. 

“It’s a sleepover!” Barbie exclaims. “Come have fun with us!” 

Raquelle sighs heavily. “I would, but Ryan just called me and he’s putting on a last-minute show at The Verve.” She rolls her eyes. “Of course I’ve got to go support my idiot brother. It’s twin law apparently.” 

Like every time Ryan is brought up, Midge is reminded of the crush she used to have on the boy. He's dreamy in every sense of the word with wavy dark brown locks and brown eyes that pull you in like a magnet. When Barbie and Raquelle first started dating and Midge had met Ryan, she’d been enamored to say the least. It didn’t take long for the attraction to wear off though when she realized how immature Ryan is. 

Barbie giggles before coming forward to plant a chaste kiss on Raquelle’s lips. 

“Just be careful, okay?” she murmurs, as she pulls back. 

Raquelle scoffs. “As if anybody would ever mess with me! Like you’ve said, my scowl would scare off a lion.” 

Barbie and Midge chuckle. 

“True,” says Barbie, before giving her another quick kiss. 

Midge giggles at the goofy lovestruck grin on Raquelle’s face as Barbie pulls back. As soon as she remembers Midge’s presence a second later though, she schools her face back into its usual unamused expression. 

She sighs heavily. “I’ve gotta go. Have fun with your weird popcorn fight or whatever.” 

Barbie and Midge chuckle. Raquelle grabs her purse from a hook by the door before giving them a wave and exiting the apartment. As usual, she shuts the door unnecessarily hard and it shakes the room. 

“Why does she always slam the door?” Midge asks, eyebrow raised. 

Barbie giggles. “Because she’s a weirdo.” 

Midge snorts. “Can’t argue with that.” 

Barbie smiles. “What do you want to do now?” 

Midge thinks for a moment and grins as an idea comes to her. 

“A sleepover isn’t complete without some nail painting!” she exclaims. 

Barbie grins widely, as she always does at the prospect of anything beauty-related. She squeals excitedly. Midge chuckles, endearment for her friend warming her chest. 

Barbie claps her hands. “I’ll go get the nail polish! Brb!” 

XXX

“I know I’ve said it a million times, but red is definitely your color,” says Barbie.

She’s painting Midge’s toenails with a precision that Midge envies. 

Midge chuckles. “You say that every time we paint nails.” 

Barbie giggles. “I knowww, but I’ve gotta tell my bestie how stunning she looks!” 

Midge smiles, cheeks flushing as they always do when she’s complimented. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. “You’re stunning too.”

Barbie chuckles. “Thanks. Aww, I love flustering you. You’re so adorable.” 

Midge rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “I am not.” 

“You are too!” Barbie exclaims. 

Midge decides to accept the compliment, if only to get Barbie to shut up with her relentless praises.

“Thanks,” she says quietly, giving Barbie a small smile. 

Barbie winks before turning her attention back to Midge’s nails. A moment of silence ensues. Usually their silences are comfortable, but all this silence does is cause Midge’s worries to come rushing back. She’d been temporarily distracted by her and Barbie’s constant interaction, but now that all is quiet she can’t stop the dread that fills her gut. Of course it only takes Barbie a few seconds to notice. She can read Midge like a book. 

“What’s wrong?” she murmurs, forehead creasing with concern. 

Midge’s eyes widen. “Oh n-nothing!” 

She curses herself for stuttering. That only makes it more obvious that something is wrong. Barbie stares at her with a knowing expression and like always when Barbie gives her that look, Midge immediately confesses, quickly blurting out the words.

“It’s just…I have another tutoring session with Summer tomorrow and she was so rude to me last time and I’m just not ready for it and I don’t know if I can do it again and…” 

“Whoa Midge, slow down,” Barbie soothes.

She puts the nail brush back in the bottle before scooting closer to Midge and placing her hand on her shoulder. As always, Midge relaxes at Barbie’s gentle touch, muscles unclenching and breath coming easier. 

“I know you can do anything you set your mind to,” Barbie says, her voice soft and sweet as ever, “but if Summer is bothering you this much, why don’t you go to Morgan and ask for her to be put with another tutor? You shouldn’t have to put up with this.” 

Midge kneads her bottom lip between her teeth. 

She sighs heavily. “But then that makes her another tutor’s problem and I don’t want to do that to my coworkers. Plus, I’m almost 21 flipping years old. I should be able to deal with a mean girl.” 

Barbie sighs softly, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind Midge’s ear. 

“I understand,” she murmurs. “But I know for a fact that you can deal with her. You are so incredibly strong. You’ve been through so much and kept your head held high through everything. A mean girl? You can definitely handle that. I believe in you.” 

She gives Midge’s shoulder a squeeze. Midge frowns doubtfully. 

“I suppose…” Her voice trails off as she’s suddenly bombarded by memories. 

She’s thirteen years old, tentatively walking into her mom’s dark bedroom, heart pounding as she lies beside the woman’s sleeping form. 

“Mom,” she murmurs, voice trembling. “Wake up please.” 

As soon as her mom wakes and her eyes land on her daughter, tears fall from her eyes, streaming down her face. Midge immediately wraps her arms around her and holds her as she cries, not knowing what else to do. 

“I’m so sorry, baby,” her mom sobs. “You deserve so much better than this.” 

A voice startles her out of her thoughts. 

“Midge, are you okay?” 

Midge starts as she’s fully pulled from the depths of her mind. Barbie’s eyes are wide with concern. She’s holding Midge’s hands now, squeezing tightly. 

“I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, stroking Midge’s knuckles. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. Are you okay?” 

Midge nods. “Yeah, of course. Sorry about that.” 

Barbie squeezes her hands tighter. “Don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be sorry.” 

Midge shakes her head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s fine. I just get like this sometimes. It’s not your fault.” 

Barbie opens her mouth, but quickly closes it, apparently deciding against what she was about to say. Midge wants to question her, but falls silent as a wave of fatigue sweeps over her. She draws one hand away from Barbie’s grip to cover her mouth as she lets out a wide yawn.

Barbie smiles softly. “Here, I’ll just finish up painting your nails and then we can turn on a movie and chill.” 

Midge nods, thinking that sounds like a perfect idea. The girls are quiet as Barbie finishes her nails, but luckily this silence is comfortable. Midge’s thoughts don’t come crawling back, which is a relief. The last thing she wants is to be gloomy the rest of the sleepover. An affectionate smile tugs the corners of her mouth as she gazes at Barbie. She could never even begin to express her gratitude for the girl. She’s been there for her through everything, never letting Midge go through anything alone. She knows how rare it is to find such an unfailingly kind and selfless friend, and she cherishes the fact that she has every day. Boy was she lucky to meet this girl on her first day of preschool. 

XXX

Twenty minutes later, the girls are side by side on the couch, lying back against the cushions. A hot pink flannel blanket covers them. The movie they decided on is Pitch Perfect. It’s been a favorite of theirs since middle school. Midge will never forget learning all the songs and dances together (though the dances weren't exactly easy for Midge to learn, considering she has the grace of a stampeding elephant). They’d constantly do the cups song as well, much to the chagrin of Barbie’s parents. Midge was over at the Roberts house more often than her own throughout middle and high school. 

Midge and Barbie laugh at the girls’ antics as the movie goes on, but as they approach the acapella finals scene, Midge’s giggles and snorts die down as waves of sleepiness wash over her. The last thing she hears before she drifts off is Beca’s melodic voice singing, “As you walk on by, will you call my name?” 

XXX
Thursday September 30th

When morning comes, the prospect of leaving Barbie and Raquelle’s apartment is so difficult, it physically pains Midge. She wants nothing more than to spend the rest of the day (and perhaps several days after) with them, but of course she has three classes and two hours of tutoring today. She barely says a word all through breakfast, drowning in self-pity as she eats the delicious waffles that Barbie prepared. She’s so lost in her morose thoughts that she starts as Raquelle begins speaking to her. 

“What’s up with you? You’re practically darkening the whole room with that pout.” 

Barbie, who is sitting next to Midge, shoots Raquelle a glare, but Midge isn’t even offended. It’s the truth, isn't it? 

“Sorry,” she grumbles. “I’m just thinking about all the stupid stuff I have to do today. My tutoring session is going to be horrific. I just know it.” 

Raquelle raises an eyebrow. “Do you happen to be tutoring a serial killer? Should I be worried?” 

Midge chuckles darkly. “I may as well be. Summer Gordon must’ve been raised by wolves. She’s the worst.” 

Raquelle’s eyes widen. “You’re tutoring the Summer Gordon?!” 

“You too?!” Midge exclaims. “Is this girl the most famous person in the world or something?! You don’t even go to our school!” 

Raquelle’s eyebrow raises again. “Damn, you’re really pressed about this girl. Is she cute?” 

Midge is overcome by a coughing fit as she swallows roughly and the bite of waffle goes down her windpipe. Barbie pats her back and sends another glare Raquelle’s way. 

As soon as her coughing peters out and she uncovers her mouth, she gives Raquelle a glare of her own, though she can barely see the girl with how much her eyes are watering. 

“C-cute?!” she stutters out, her voice hoarse. “What are you getting at?! Sure, she’s pretty enough, but what does that have to do with anything?!” 

She’s not sure why she’s getting so defensive or why her cheeks are suddenly burning. Raquelle puts her hands up in surrender. 

“Okay okay okay!” she exclaims. “Jeez, don’t have a conniption! It was just a question!” 

“Whatever,” Midge grumbles, before taking another bite of waffle. 

She bites down with unnecessary force, wincing as she bites her tongue. 

“Well, I mean, I hope it goes okay,” Raquelle says. 

Though her voice and expression are nonchalant, Midge knows that Raquelle genuinely cares and is rooting for her. She gives the girl a smile. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. 

Raquelle shrugs. Barbie and Midge’s eyes meet and they share a grin. 

“Um, what’s that look you guys are giving each other?!” Raquelle exclaims. “I know you two have a secret language!” 

Midge and Barbie giggle at Raquelle’s affronted expression. 

“Sorry sweetie, but BFFs can’t reveal all their secrets,” Barbie says, the humor evident in her voice as she reaches across the table and places her hand over Raquelle’s. 

Raquelle scoffs. “Whatever. You two still need to clean that popcorn up, by the way. I sure as hell am not doing it.” 

Midge and Barbie look at each other and chuckle. 

“Sure thing, baby,” Barbie says, her tone still filled with humor. “Whatever you say.” 

Midge takes another bite of waffle, savoring the fluffy texture and the sweet taste of maple syrup. No matter what this day brings, at least she got to spend time with people she loves first. 

XXX
11:46 am

When poetry class ends, she just about makes it out of the classroom without being cornered by Keaton, but her luck wears out as he steps in front of her by the door. Plastering a polite smile on her face might just be the most difficult thing she’s ever done. 

“What’s up, Keaton?” she asks, surprisingly able to make her tone pleasant. 

“So I started the poetry assignment,” he says quickly, “but I feel like it’s bad. Any ideas?” 

The wave of frustration that comes over her is so consuming, every one of her muscles clenches. She takes a deep breath, collecting herself before answering. 

“I’ll text you later with an idea or two, okay? I’ve got to get to lunch right now.” 

Of course she has the boy's number. He'd given it to her less than a week into the semester, so he can text her whenever he needs help with his poems (which is a lot).

“But…” he protests. 

His voice trails off as she ducks past him and rushes out of the classroom. She can’t help but glance behind her. The scowl he’s directing her way is so intense, it sends shivers down her spine. 

XXX

All through lunch, Midge vents to Teresa. The girls are sitting at their default picnic table in the English quad. Teresa is devouring her lunch, but never takes her eyes off Midge, listening intently. Midge has been talking so quickly, she hasn’t even had a chance to start eating her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She and Teresa always pack their own lunches, both girls wanting to avoid the monstrously long cafeteria lines. Plus, Midge is quite the picky eater and most of the cafeteria food options are too spicy for her. 

“Ugh!” she groans. “And he had the audacity to glare at me! Like what the heck?! I’m doing him so many favors and he’s such an ungrateful little…” 

She almost says “shit,” but quickly stops herself. Nearly cussing is the ultimate indicator that she’s good and pissed. She almost never curses. 

“He does sound like a little shit,” says Teresa, eyes filled with sympathy. 

Teresa doesn’t cuss much either, but she’s not as stringent about clean language as Midge is. Midge lets out a long, shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry for taking up our whole lunch talking about this,” she says, her voice softening. “I’m just so frustrated! And I’m only going to get more frustrated because I have my flipping tutoring session with Summer after classes!” 

She pinches her forehead, eyes slipping closed. A headache is quickly coming on. 

“Do you need Advil?” Teresa asks, her voice soft. “I have some.” 

Midge gives her friend a small smile. “Thank you, but I’m fine. It’s not that bad of a headache.” 

Teresa has been listening to her so raptly, it’s about time Midge takes some interest in what’s going on with her. 

“How’s the design for your new dress coming along?” she asks. “Those sketches you were doing the other night looked really good.” 

A bright smile forms on Teresa’s face. “Thanks! It’s going great! I definitely feel like I’m going to nail this assignment!” 

Midge smiles completely genuinely, her mood lightened by her friend’s happiness. 

“I’m sure you will!” she exclaims. “You’re an amazing fashion designer! I’m always blown away by your designs!” 

Teresa’s smile grows even larger. “Thank you so much!” 

Midge grins. She’s so glad Teresa’s fashion design degree is going along well. The girl struggled with general education, but she got through it and now she’s doing excellently in her fashion design classes. 

The girls spend the rest of lunch discussing Teresa’s designs, and Midge is beyond grateful for the distraction. Keaton and Summer float to the back of her mind, as all she focuses on for the next half an hour is Teresa’s passion and joy. 

XXX
4:04 pm

Midge’s anxiety is nearly consuming her, and her session with Summer hasn’t even started yet. Her heart is pounding. Her palms are sweating. Her stomach is swarming with butterflies. She takes slow, deep breaths. Calm down, her mind hisses. Don’t make a fool out of yourself. 

Her thoughts are quickly cut off as Summer enters the writing center. When she starts walking towards Midge, Midge’s heartbeat only increases, pulse throbbing against her skull. Summer is dressed similar to last time, clad in mint green joggers and the same gray sweatshirt as last time. The only notable difference is her hair. Last time it was neat, not a stray hair in sight, pulled back with a light blue headband. Now the headband is gone and her hair is frizzy and tangled. Midge just barely resists the urge to raise an eyebrow. She didn’t peg Summer as the type to look like a mess in public, especially considering she has virtually celebrity status at the school. 

As Summer approaches the table, she quickly sits down, throwing her backpack onto the floor with a huff. As she faces Midge, Midge immediately notices the dark circles under her eyes. She stares at the girl in dumbfounded silence, wondering what has reduced her to this state. A wave of concern rushes through her, but then Summer speaks and any sympathy Midge was developing is washed away.

“Are you going to stop staring at me like an idiot and get on with the session?!” 

Midge is so taken aback, it takes her a moment to register the hot anger pooling in her chest. When she becomes aware of its presence, her body reacts, muscles tensing and fists clenching. 

“Excuse me?” Her voice is low, shaking with rage. 

Summer glares at her. “You heard me.” 

A staring match ensues. Midge is vibrating with fury, but she knows she can’t snap. She needs to get on with the session or they're going to be glowering at each other in silence for the rest of the hour. She takes a deep, shaky breath, schooling her face into a neutral expression. Now is the time to be professional. She remembers Barbie’s words. You can do whatever you set your mind to. 

She clears her throat. “May I see whatever assignment you're working on?” 

“Fine,” Summer hisses, before beginning to unzip her backpack. 

Midge can't help but raise an eyebrow as the girl struggles with the zipper. A thought suddenly occurs to her. Is Summer hungover? That would explain her unkempt state and sluggish movements. 

Summer finally manages to open it a moment later and pulls her laptop out. Just like last week, she opens it and impatiently waits for it to load before bringing up the document and shoving it forcefully across the table towards Midge. Like last time, Midge catches it just before it slides off the table. She can't help but give Summer an irritated look. 

“Can you please not do that?!” she snaps. 

“You can't tell me what to do!” Summer hisses, glaring harshly. 

Midge rolls her eyes before beginning to read the paper. It's another business proposal, and it's worse than last time. There are even more spelling and grammar errors, and the topic is even less clear. She doesn't realize she shook her head (she wouldn't normally, but she's flustered) until Summer snaps at her. 

“Did you just shake your head?!” she exclaims, voice taut with anger. “Why don't you get off your high horse?! We can't all be writing masters!” 

Midge quickly looks around, sure people will be staring due to Summer’s volume, but there's only one other tutoring session going on, which is happening across the room, and Morgan is in her office. Clearly nobody is hearing this. Midge is on her own. She sucks in a sharp breath before turning to Summer. 

“I-I didn't mean…” 

Summer cuts her off. “Maybe instead of judging me, you could enlighten me as to why you could love something as lame as writing!”

Midge scoffs, a hot wave of anger crashing through her chest. This girl has some serious audacity! She narrows her eyes, determined to put her in her place. 

“I could say the same about you and sports. I've never understood the appeal of all that uncouth pushing and shoving and shouting. At least writing makes a real impact on people. What does sports do? Get people unnecessarily worked up for an hour?”

Summer scowls, her face darkening. Clearly Midge struck a nerve. She can't stop a self-satisfied smirk from forming on her face. 

“Listen!” Summer hisses, leaning forward. “You don't know what you're talking about! Sports do make an impact! They bring joy and fun! So maybe shut up about things you know nothing about!” 

Midge scoffs. “You started it. I wouldn't have said a thing about sports if you hadn't insulted writing.”

This girl is outrageous, acting like she's the disrespectful one. And why is Midge feeling guilty? She shouldn't be! Summer is the one who started throwing out the insults!

Summer sneers. “And why do you dress like that? You look like you came out of a vintage magazine.” 

Midge didn't know she could get any angrier, but her cheeks blaze hotter. Her face is probably tomato red at this point, but she's too beside herself with rage to care. All her guilt fades. Summer is a bitch who doesn't deserve her guilt or sympathy. She glances down at her blue and white polka dotted dress, now feeling self-consciousness in addition to her anger. She feels like she's back in elementary school. Kids had often made fun of her style, but she'd always had Barbie and Ken there to defend her. Now she has to stick up for herself. That should be easy. She's almost 21 for goodness sake. She should be more than capable of fighting her own battles. She takes a deep breath before answering. 

“Very mature,” she snaps. “Where are we? A grade school cafeteria?” 

Summer’s glare deepens, but she doesn't answer, clearly having no retort for that. She evidently knows Midge is right and that brings a pleased smirk to Midge's face. 

“Don't smirk at me like that!” Summer hisses. 

Midge only smirks harder. 

“Try and stop me,” she taunts. 

Midge is never like this. She never treats people this way, but Summer has some serious nerve insulting her like this and Midge has every right to defend herself! 

Summer clearly has no response to that either. She seethes in silence for a moment before speaking again. 

“Give me my laptop!” she demands. 

Midge pushes the laptop just as forcefully as Summer did across the table. Summer scoffs at her as she catches it. Without another word, she stuffs the laptop into her backpack and zips the backup up with a trembling hand before throwing it over her shoulder and stalking out of the writing center. 

Midge spends the next 50 minutes before her next tutoring session trying to calm down, but to no avail. Even splashing water on her face in the bathroom doesn't help. Her heart keeps thumping, her stomach doesn't unclench, and anger continues to simmer like lava in her chest. 

She does a terrible job tutoring the next student, but she's too enraged to feel guilty. 

XXX

When she gets back to her dorm, which is thankfully empty, the first thing she does is sprint to her room, pick up her pillow, and scream into it until her throat burns. 

XXX

Midge writes more that night than she has in months. Even though the stressors of her day float away, a different kind of discomfort, an all too familiar ache, blooms in her gut. As she reads the last sentence of the chapter aloud, the pain worsens.

"Ingrid tries so desperately to forget those childhood memories, but the images and voices and most of all the fear stay glued to her mind like a magnet. She knows that nobody can heal her, not even Alice."

Chapter Text

Wednesday October 5th
7:02 pm

“I’m so glad we’re finally video chatting!” Midge exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly. 

She has her phone propped on Teresa’s selfie stick, which she set on the coffee table, so she can see her mom from a good angle. She’s sitting on the couch, head resting against one of the cushions. Her mom gives her a weak smile. Her smiles are never any bigger than a slight upturning of her lips, but Midge has grown adjusted to this fact. It no longer fazes her like it used to. 

“I’m glad to see you too, dear,” her mom says, her voice soft and filled with an unmistakable melancholy. 

Midge can almost ignore the melancholy now. Almost. 

“What have you been up to?” Midge asks. 

She hopes her mom has at least been doing something, but the moment of silence that ensues is very telling. Midge just barely stops her smile from falling. That all too familiar ache rises in her chest. Once again, she’s expected too much from the woman and has been disappointed. It’s a perpetual cycle that she should’ve learned how to break by now. 

“Oh, not much,” her mom replies. “What about you, dear?” 

Midge does her best to ignore the ache inside her and think. What has she been up to? Really the only thing about her life that’s different since the last time she video chatted her mom is her tutoring sessions with Summer. She’s not sure what her mom’s reaction will be, but she has the sudden urge to tell her, to confess the issues weighing on her. She should probably say something positive first though. She’s not miserable after all.

“Well, I’ve been hanging out with Barbie, Ken, and Teresa as usual,” she says. 

Her mom smiles that small smile of hers again. 

“How are Barbie’s modeling gigs going?” the woman asks, sounding genuinely interested. 

Midge grins. Her mom actually taking interest in something always makes her feel encouraged. The ache in her chest lessens. 

“They’re going well!” Midge exclaims. “She has an audition to be featured on a magazine cover this weekend. I’m going to go with her for moral support.” 

“That sounds good,” her mom says, smiling softly. “I hope you two have fun.” 

Midge smiles brightly. “Thanks!” 

There’s a moment of silence then. Midge is racking her brain for what to say when the woman speaks. 

“How is tutoring going for you?” 

Well, now is the time to tell her mom everything, Midge supposes. She takes a deep breath before responding. 

“Well, mostly good, but there’s this one student named Summer who’s a real pain. She’s captain of the soccer and basketball teams and apparently she’s pretty famous around the school.” She lets out an irritated sigh. “Well, apparently it’s all gotten to her head big time because she’s an arrogant jerk!” 

She’s suddenly angry all over again as she thinks about her session with Summer last week. 

“She insulted writing!” she exclaims. “And my style! Who does she think she is?!” 

She clenches her fists, chest heaving. Suddenly remembering where she is, her cheeks burn hotter than they already were. She can’t believe she’s getting this worked up in front of her mom. 

She clears her throat. “Sorry. I got carried away there. It’s just…a lot.” 

There’s a moment of silence. Her mom is gazing at her, eyes filled with concern. As usual, her blue eyes are ringed by dark circles. Midge is opening her mouth to continue saving face when her mom speaks. 

“I think you should ask your boss for her to be put with another tutor,” the woman says, voice soft with sympathy. “It sounds like this girl is really getting to you. I don’t want my delicate little flower getting hurt.” 

It takes all of Midge’s strength to resist rolling her eyes. She hates when her mom calls her that. Delicate little flower? She stopped being a delicate little flower a long time ago, probably around the time the woman stopped getting out of bed and drank her weight in alcohol on the daily. At thirteen years old, Midge had to learn how to be strong. She had to rid herself of that naivety and innocence she’d possessed until then. And she resents her mom every day for this, as much as she hates to admit it. 

She has nearly eight years of practice hiding this resentment though, so she shoves down the sudden anger boiling in her chest and gives her mom the brightest smile she can. 

“I’ll think about it, Mom.” 

Her mom sighs softly. “I hope you take my advice, dear.” She yawns. “I’m getting tired now. I think I’m going to have to go to bed.” 

The woman always goes to bed early, but this is especially early. Midge gnaws at her bottom lip, debating whether to say what she wants to. In the end, she decides to take the risk, her care for her mom outweighing her fear. 

“Have you been taking your meds, Mom?” she asks, her voice soft. 

The woman’s face immediately darkens. Midge stiffens, her stomach clenching. She wishes she could go back in time and not say anything. 

“Yes,” her mom snaps. “Remember, Midge, that is my business.” 

Sudden tears sting Midge’s eyes. She swallows the lump in her throat before answering. 

“O-okay, Mom,” she says. She hates the way her voice shakes. “I’m sorry.” 

Her mom softens again. “That’s alright, dear. I overreacted.” 

As usual, the woman doesn’t give an actual apology. Midge knows if she keeps looking at this shell of a woman that used to be her mom, the tears stinging her eyes are going to spill over, so she quickly thinks of an excuse to hang up. 

“I-I smell burning,” she says, her voice small and uncertain. “Teresa must’ve burned dinner. I should go help her.” 

“Alright, dear.” 

“I love you,” Midge murmurs, the tears pressing against her eyelids burning hotter.

“I love you too, dear,” her mom whispers before hanging up. 

Midge stares vacantly into the distance and breathes shakily, still not letting her tears fall. 

She’s not sure how long it’s been before Teresa is suddenly in front of her. 

“You okay?” the girl murmurs. 

Midge looks up and, vision blurred with tears, she gazes at her friend. She knows if she answers she’ll start crying, so she keeps her mouth shut. 

“Do you want a hug?” Teresa asks softly, reaching her arms out.

Teresa’s voice is so gentle and her arms look so inviting that Midge doesn’t have it in her to refuse. So, standing up on shaky legs, she accepts the embrace. Teresa rubs her back. A few stubborn tears drip from Midge’s eyes, but still she holds back the sobs building in her throat. 

XXX
10:14 pm

"Ingrid wants to scream until her throat is raw, for the world to know her pain, but she’s kept everything inside for so long, she doesn’t know if release is possible."  

As usual, Midge reads the last sentence of what she’s written that night aloud. She rolls her eyes in annoyance as her voice catches on the last word. She growls in frustration as tears prick her eyes again. She lets out a shaky sigh before closing her laptop. She needs to go to bed now. She needs to forget, even if it’s only for the night. After getting into bed, she wraps the blanket extra tightly around herself, craving the comfort of an embrace. I’m so pathetic is her last thought before her exhaustion takes over and she drifts off to sleep. 

XXX
Thursday October 6th
2:16 pm

Ken winces, clutching his throat. 

“Too hot,” he croaks, setting his cup of coffee down on the table. 

Midge rolls her eyes affectionately. 

“You do that every time!” she exclaims. “Just wait for your coffee to cool, dude!” 

Ken pouts. “I do not! This hasn’t happened in a while, for your information!” 

Midge smirks. “That’s because this is the first hot drink you’ve gotten since last winter.” 

Ken rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah yeah.” 

Midge giggles before taking a sip of her chai latte. She’s never liked coffee, the taste being far too strong for her, so she always gets tea when she goes to coffee shops. Chai is her default drink. This coffee shop, Pluto, makes the best chai latte she’s ever had. Their pastries are amazing too. She’s so grateful to have such an incredible coffee shop on campus. 

“How’s that computer you’re building going?” she asks, deciding to change the subject before steam starts blowing out of Ken’s ears. 

She and the boy have always loved teasing each other ever since they became friends in kindergarten, but they never go too far. It’s all in good fun. 

He groans. “It’s sooo hard! I’ve had so many sleepless nights these last couple weeks! I can’t believe this is 30% of my grade!” 

She frowns sympathetically. She did notice the dark circles under his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I’m sure it’ll get easier. You’ve just got to get the hang of it. You always figure out this tech stuff in the end.” 

He smiles gratefully. “Thanks, Midge. You’re right. I’ve just got to practice.” 

She takes another sip of chai before answering. “And if you ever need a pick me up, just think about how utterly terrible I am with technology and compare your skills to mine!” 

“Oh you’re not that bad!” he insists. 

She gives him a deadpan stare. “Ken, it took me over six months to learn how to set up a Zoom meeting, even with you and Barbie constantly trying to teach me.” 

He shrugs. “Well, that’s understandable. Zoom can be tricky.”

It’s clear that he’s trying not to laugh. His composure is admirable. Despite the fact that he’s a technology whiz and majoring in computer science, he’s incredibly humble.

“Well, anyway,” she says, “can I meet that robot you made soon?” 

She won’t lie, AI scares her, but any robot Ken makes would be friendly…right? 

He chuckles. “Don’t robots scare you?” 

She scoffs. “Well, not your robots!” 

He grins. “Sure thing then! You, me, and Barbie can meet up in the science quad sometime next week and I’ll show Wanda off to you guys!”

Midge snorts. “You named your robot Wanda?!” 

He scowls. “Hey! Wanda is a perfectly good name! I have a great aunt named Wanda!” 

Midge giggles. “But for a robot?!” 

Ken glares. “What made you a robot naming expert?!” 

Midge giggles before taking another sip of her chai. 

Ken smirks. “I’ll take your lack of a response as confirmation that Wanda is a perfect name for a robot.” 

Midge shrugs. “Alright then. Take it as you will.” 

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly. As usual, the moment of silence that ensues is the perfect opportunity for her worries to suddenly flood her mind. Ken startles her out of her thoughts. 

“What’s wrong?” His forehead is creased with concern. “You’re biting your thumbnail.” 

She blinks in surprise as she realizes that her thumbnail is in her mouth. She quickly takes it out. 

“Ugh,” she groans. “I thought I was over that nervous habit.” 

Ken frowns. “Well, why are you doing one of your nervous habits? You can talk to me.” 

When she stays silent, he raises an eyebrow. 

“Is it tutoring?” he asks a moment later, his voice soft. 

She lets out a long sigh. 

“Yes,” she mutters. “Just the thought of tutoring Summer in a couple hours is giving me the most uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.” 

He frowns sympathetically. “I’m sorry. From what you’ve told me over text, she sounds like a real jerk.”

Midge sighs. “Tell me about it.” 

They sit in silence then. Ken is nervously fiddling with his hands, clearly clueless as to what advice he can give. 

After a minute, he sighs. “I don’t know what to say other than you’re strong and can handle it. I’ve seen you fight through so much and it only made you stronger, and you’ve stayed so good-hearted through it all. I admire you so much, Midge. I really do.”

Her eyes sting and her chest warms, touched by his sweet words. She swallows the lump in her throat before answering. 

“Thank you so much, Ken,” she says, voice soft. “I admire you too. So much.” 

He smiles, reaching across the table to give her hand a squeeze. She squeezes back. She focuses on the warmth and security of her friend’s hand in hers, and all of a sudden she feels like she can do anything. 

XXX
4:04 pm

Midge is even more anxious than last time waiting for Summer to arrive. She struggles to sit still. Her heart pounds against her eardrums. Her stomach squirms, feeling even worse than earlier. 

When she sees Summer walk through the writing center door, she considers bolting from the room. It takes every ounce of self-restraint to not do so. As Summer approaches, Midge notes that she looks better than last time. Her hair is brushed at least and pulled back with a light pink headband. She’s still wearing what’s apparently her signature gray hoodie and her leggings are lavender. She sits down across from Midge with a heavy sigh. Midge can’t help but gaze at her. The circles under her eyes are darker than they were last week. She looks absolutely exhausted. Her honey blonde hair is as luminous as ever though and her brown eyes still have an unmistakable brightness to them. 

When she notices Summer is gazing back at her, she quickly averts her eyes. She has no idea what came over her. She takes a deep breath, trying to rein in the rapid pace of her heartbeat. 

Summer continues to stare at her and Midge steels herself, expecting the girl to start spouting rude nonsense once again, but a minute passes and nothing comes out of her mouth. Midge worries that if she says something that will start Summer’s attitude back up, but they can’t exactly sit here in silence for an hour. 

“Um…” she starts, despising how uncertain she sounds. She clears her throat. “Is there anything you want to take a look at?” 

Summer blinks like she just came out of a stupor. Her eyes are wide. Midge isn’t sure why the girl looks so surprised. It’s like she forgot Midge was there or something. 

Summer clears her throat. “Oh…um…I…” She clears her throat again. “I have another business proposal.” 

Midge freezes, stunned by Summer’s lack of rudeness. Summer leans over, unzipping her backpack with a trembling hand. Midge purses her lips in thought. The girl doesn’t seem hungover this time. She seems exhausted. Utterly exhausted. She's like a zombie practically. She’s just too tired to throw out insults apparently, Midge reasons. It’s doubtful that she regrets any of her previous behavior even though she’s acting better. 

Midge sits quietly as Summer opens her laptop and waits for it to load. Summer’s eyes squint as she looks at the screen. It takes her over a minute to bring up the document. Midge’s jaw drops as the girl hands her the laptop, rather than shoving it. She quickly closes her mouth, wincing. Hopefully Summer didn’t notice that. Apparently she didn’t. She’s staring vacantly into the distance. Just like last week, Midge can’t help but feel concerned. Something is clearly going on with the girl. 

She does her best to shove the concern to the back of her mind as she reads the business proposal. This is the worst one yet. There’s a misspelled word nearly every sentence and the grammar leaves much to be desired. She’s not even sure what the topic is supposed to be. She doesn’t even know where to begin correcting it, and Summer doesn’t look like she’s in any state to listen anyway. She has to try though. She pulls her notebook and a pencil out of her backpack and explains a few grammatical rules, while writing down the main points of what she’s saying. Summer is looking at her, but it’s clear that she’s not listening. It’s like she’s sleeping with her eyes open. Still, Midge continues. She tells Summer how to make the topic clearer, writing down pointers for her. Whether the girl is listening or not, Midge is going to do her job. 

She doesn’t even realize it’s been an hour until Summer suddenly reaches across the table to grab her laptop. Midge looks at the clock on the wall across the room in shock. She never thought she’d see the day where she could make it through the entire hour session with Summer. Summer still looks out of it, but apparently she’s lucid enough to be aware of the time. She stuffs her laptop in her backpack. Midge quickly rips the paper she was writing notes for Summer on out of her notebook and hands it to the girl. Summer takes it and crams it into her backpack with the dozens of other papers.

“Have a good day,” Midge offers, her voice soft and tentative. 

Summer doesn’t respond. She just gets up and walks towards the door. She’s almost made it when suddenly two girls, one tall and one short, hurry over to her. 

“Summer Gordon?!” the short girl squeals. “Can I have your autograph?! Please?! I’ve got a pen and paper here!” 

She shoves the pen and paper into Summer’s hands. Midge rolls her eyes. No way is Summer going to give out an autograph. She’s far too cocky and self-centered for that. Her eyes widen in surprise as Summer smiles and says in an upbeat voice, “Sure!” 

She signs the paper before handing it back to the girl. 

“Thank you so much!” the girl exclaims.

“No prob,” Summer replies. 

The tall girl hands Summer her pen and paper then, and Summer signs that paper as well. The girl takes it back with a shaking hand. 

“Thank you so much!” Her voice quivers. 

“No prob,” Summer repeats. 

Midge continues to watch the interaction in stunned silence. 

“Is there any way we could get a picture?” the short girl asks pleadingly. 

Summer shrugs. “Sure.” 

“Thank you so much!” the girl exclaims.

Each girl gets on one side of Summer. The tall girl holds up her phone, exclaiming “Cheese!” before taking a selfie of the three of them. 

Both girls thank her yet again before walking away. Midge’s jaw is slack as she watches Summer exit the writing center. She can’t believe what she just witnessed. Summer actually taking that much time to bring joy to her fans? Maybe the girl just cares about her reputation. Or maybe, just maybe, Summer Gordon has a heart.

Chapter Text

Wednesday October 5th 
9:41 pm 

Summer heaves out a sigh. “Okay, time to work out now.”

She grunts as she sits up straight. Nikki, who's still leaned back against one of the couch cushions, pouts. 

“Nooo!” she groans. “Stayyy! I don't want to lose my South Park buddy!” 

Summer rolls her eyes affectionately as she stands up. “Don't you worry. You'll get me back soon enough.” 

They fall into silence then. Nikki's eyes narrow as she gazes at her, like she's scrutinizing her. Summer shuffles her feet uncomfortably. Why does Nikki always feel the need to analyze her? 

Nikki sighs before speaking again. “Why don't you take the night off, Summer? You look dead tired. You look like a fucking raccoon with those damn dark circles under her eyes. You need sleep, girl.” 

It takes all of Summer's remaining resolve to not immediately lash out at Nikki. The anger that builds in her chest is so sudden and burns so hot that it takes her a few seconds to catch her breath. She knows she can't let it all out right now though. She's too tired to argue with Nikki. Nikki never backs down. Still, she can't help but let out a scoff. 

“I'm fine.” Her tone is clipped, her anger barely contained. 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “Whatever, girl.” 

That makes Summer even madder for some reason. She can't stop the scowl that forms on her face. She's about to make some nasty comment about Nikki acting like her mom when her phone buzzes in her pocket. She closes her eyes. Speak of the devil. Her mom has been texting her relentlessly, ever since her phone calls started going unanswered. The texts are always some variation of how Summer needs to work harder, how everything rides on her getting her grades up, how disappointed she is in her. Summer eventually stopped looking at them. What's even the point? All they do is make her feel worse about herself than she already does. 

At this point, she doesn't know what to do. She's not smart enough to get her grades up without a lot of help, and she screwed up her chance at tutoring working out well by being a mega bitch. And she's tired. So fucking tired. No matter how much she wears herself out with working out every night, she still can't sleep. She's getting three hours at most at night. She's tired of hearing from Nikki about how unhealthy that is. She can't exactly help it, can she? She still hasn't told the girl about her issue with her grades and getting kicked off the soccer team, and she intends on keeping it that way. Her friend will take over the situation like she always does and that's the last thing Summer needs right now. 

She rolls her eyes as her phone vibrates again. Her mom doesn't usually text her this late. She must be feeling especially disappointed in her tonight. 

As her phone vibrates a third time though, she figures she should take a look. Who knows? It could be an emergency. Probably not, but the thought of any of her family members being in need of her help and her not being there? Whenever she thinks about the idea, it threatens to send her into a panic.

She growls as she pulls her phone out of her pocket. Nikki raises an eyebrow. Summer rolls her eyes as she sees the caller ID. It's her brother, Blaine. As much as she wants to let the call go to voicemail, she knows she can't do that to him. 

“I have to take this. It's Blaine,” she mutters, before walking down the hall to her bedroom.

She shuts the door before sitting down on her bed. She takes a deep breath before answering the call. 

She sighs. “What is it, Blaine?” 

“Summer?” he croaks, his voice slurred. He sniffs. “Can we talk?” 

She takes another deep breath, steeling herself. This isn't anything new. Blaine cries every time he gets drunk and this happens to be the only time he calls her. It only happens about once a month, so it's not like she has to deal with it constantly, but still it’s obnoxious. This has been a routine of theirs for the past two years, a cycle she'd desperately like to break. Still, as frustrating as it can be, she can't ignore the ache that blooms in her chest every time. As much as Blaine annoys her, he's still her brother. She'd never admit this aloud, but she cares about him a whole lot. Sometimes she resents the fact that he rarely calls her, but she supposes that's not fair. She never calls him either after all. 

“I'm sorry to bother you.” His voice shakes. 

She rolls her eyes. He apologizes every time. She lets out a slow breath before answering. 

“Don't apologize.” She makes her voice as soothing as possible, but speaking gently doesn't exactly come naturally to her. “What's wrong?” 

He then explains to her between sobs and hiccups about how much he misses his ex-girlfriend, Leah. She broke up with him a year ago, but he still cries about it every time he gets drunk. As old as it gets though, she always listens. 

As his drunken rambling comes to a stop about ten minutes later, she says what she always does. 

“I'm sorry. That's rough.” 

He hiccups. “Yeah, it is.” 

The ache in her chest grows sharper at the defeated tone of his voice. She’s absolutely exhausted, but she has to do better than this. She takes a deep breath before speaking again. 

“It's going to be okay,” she says, trying to speak softly. “You'll get through this.” 

She winces as he bursts into tears again. Was that the wrong thing to say? She cracks her knuckles, a nervous habit of hers. Luckily, he starts to calm a minute later. 

“Thanks, Summer,” he says, his voice hoarse. 

She nods. Then, remembering he can't see her and rolling her eyes at her own stupidity, she answers him. 

“Of course. Are you going to be okay? Are you somewhere safe?” 

He sniffs. “Yeah. I'm at Adam's place. I'll be fine.” 

“Alright, that's good.”

“I'll let you go now,” he croaks. “I need to sleep.”

“Okay. Feel better,” she murmurs. 

“Thanks,” he croaks, before hanging up. 

She sighs deeply as she stands and walks over to her dresser. As she gets dressed in her workout clothes, she can't help but think about how ironic it is that Blaine is two years older than her, yet she's always the one taking care of him. That's how their dynamic has always been, and she doubts it'll ever change. Not that she wants to be taken care of by him. Definitely not. 

XXX

Her muscles scream in protest the entire time she runs on the treadmill. Still, she refuses to run anything less than five miles. At 4.7 miles, her legs begin to cramp up. She winces at the stabbing pain in her calves, but she can't give up now. She takes deep, shaky breaths, trying to think of anything other than the pain. Her head is too cloudy to think of anything else though.

She exhales in relief as she reaches 5 miles. She hits the power button with a trembling hand and as soon as the treadmill slows to a stop, she drops to her knees. 

XXX

She can barely stay standing in the shower. She refuses to sit down though no matter how intense the pain in her legs gets. That would be pathetic. It would be weak. She's not weak. 

XXX

She lies in bed, staring at the chipped white paint of the ceiling with blurry eyes. No matter what she does, she can't sleep. She even read an online article called “How to Sleep as an Insomniac” and tried the deep breathing exercise it recommended, but to no avail. She hasn't had this problem since she was a young teenager and she doesn't even remember how she fixed it. Finally, a little after five, she falls into a restless sleep. 

XXX
Thursday October 6th
8:12 am 

“Summer! Wake up!” 

Summer's head shoots up. She looks around with bleary eyes disorientedly, but as her name is said again in an exasperated tone and she realizes it's Nikki, everything comes rushing back into focus. She's sitting at the kitchen table, a half-finished mango smoothie in front of her. Summer rubs her eyes and yawns before reluctantly facing Nikki. The girl is standing by the table, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. Summer stubbornly avoids Nikki's gaze, knowing full well what the girl is going to say. She looks down, fingers twisting together in her lap. Her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Of course it's now that she falls asleep. 

Nikki sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Summer, I know you hate being told what to do, but I really think you should take at least a class or two off today and catch up on sleep. I've never seen you fall asleep during the day before. This is getting ridiculous.” 

Summer stiffens as a sudden wave of anger crashes through her. Who does Nikki think she is telling her how to live her life?! Like last night though, she's far too exhausted to argue with Nikki of all people, so she takes a deep breath and endeavors to keep her voice level as she answers. 

“I'm fine,” she mutters. “I'll catch up on sleep this weekend.”

Nikki scoffs. “No you won't! You're going to be working out til you're in excruciating pain like usual!” 

Summer rolls her eyes. “Excruciating? You're being dramatic.” 

Nikki huffs. “Am not! I've seen you limping when you get home! Don't think I'm not aware that something is going on with you!” 

Summer can't take it anymore. She's going to explode at Nikki if she doesn't leave the situation.

“Nothing is going on with me, okay?” she snaps.

As soon as her sentence comes to a stop, she jumps up. She rushes into the living room and grabs her backpack from the couch. She makes sure to slam the door on her way out. 

XXX

Summer's stomach growls all through her morning classes. She desperately wishes she hadn't fallen asleep and left her smoothie unfinished. Her cheeks flush as her stomach grumbles especially loudly. Luckily, nobody turns to look at her. Her eyelids are heavy and she can't stop yawning, but she doesn't have to worry about falling asleep. She's too hungry for that. 

XXX

At lunch, she devours her Caesar salad. The past couple weeks she's been slacking off when it comes to eating healthy, having sandwiches for lunch and fast food for dinner. As exhausted as she is, she's determined to get her diet back on track. No good athlete eats garbage. Stress is no excuse to forego healthy food. Plus, she needs to stop allowing anxiety to get to her so much. Sure, she's at great risk of being kicked off the soccer team, but she should be stronger than this. She lets out a sharp exhale, stabbing a piece of lettuce with her plastic fork as hard as she can. She growls in frustration as the force bends the tines of the fork. She should've seen that coming. She's stupid. So fucking stupid. 

XXX

As she walks towards the writing center, an unexpected wave of shame courses through her. It settles in her chest, churning and writhing. She's been such a bitch to Midge. Her exhaustion has prevented her from thinking about anything other than the soccer team ultimatum, but now that the writing center is in sight, she's reminded of all the awful things she said to the girl. Midge must think she's the worst person ever. Maybe she is the worst person ever. 

XXX

The second she meets eyes with Midge, the guilt she feels is nearly overwhelming. She takes a deep, shaky breath before walking over to the table, feeling more reluctant with every step. The fear in Midge's eyes makes her feel even worse. It's because of her. Looking at Midge's frightened expression, she hates herself more than she ever has. 

Midge is gazing at her with wide sky blue eyes and Summer finds herself unable to look away, despite the shame simmering in her chest. As she sits down, she notes the freckles dusted across the girl’s cheeks, the daintiness of her nose, the brightness of her red hair, features she'd been too angry to observe before. 

“Um…” Midge says, voice small. She clears her throat. “Is there anything you want to take a look at?” 

As Midge speaks, Summer is pulled from her stupor. She blinks. She's not sure what came over her. She takes a moment to find her voice. Finally comprehending what she should say, she clears her throat. 

“Oh…um…I…” She clears her throat again. “I have another business proposal.”

She silently curses herself for stuttering. What is going on with her? 

Midge's jaw drops as Summer hands the laptop to her, and she knows it's because she passed it rather than shoved it. Shoving the laptop was another one of her many immature antics and like her other actions, she's embarrassed at the memory. 

She grows even more humiliated as Midge begins reading her proposal. She knows it's awful, even worse than her other ones. She quickly typed it up last night after her workout. She was so tired, she could barely piece one sentence together. She's just as exhausted now, and as Midge begins critiquing the proposal and explaining grammar rules to her, writing notes on a piece of paper, Summer grows more fatigued by the second and starts zoning out. She knows her status on the soccer team rides on her listening so she can correct her mistakes and get more than a D or F on her assignments, but she's just too tired. Too tired and too stupid. 

By the time she's able to pull herself out of her daze, with a quick glance at the clock across the room, she sees that it's 4:59. She's nearing the end of her tutoring session and she barely heard a word Midge said. The self-loathing she feels is so intense, she wants nothing more than to get out of the writing center, this place that's absolutely permeated with her pathetic mistakes. As soon as the clock reads five, she grabs her laptop from across the table and stuffs it in her backpack. She takes the paper of notes Midge is handing her and crams that in her backpack too before zipping it up. As she stands, Midge tells her to have a good day, and as she walks away she's immediately ashamed that she didn't respond. Why can't she stop being such a bitch? 

She has to hold back a frustrated sigh as a couple of fangirls run over to her. She's not even remotely in the mood to be interacting with anybody right now, especially her fans, but still she's not going to deny them autographs. That would be too much of a jerk move, even for her. As she signs her name on their pieces of paper, the thought occurs to her: she's not a jerk. Not really. She can act like one time sometimes, sure, especially when she's stressed, but for the most part she wants what's best for people. Still, that doesn't excuse the way her behavior gets at times. She knows this. And even looking at the smiling faces of her fans as they walk away, the shame sitting heavily in her chest won't fade. It won't evaporate into thin air, like she so desperately wishes all her problems would.

Chapter Text

Thursday October 6th 
7:48 pm

Summer is sitting on the couch, the page of notes Midge wrote her resting on her lap. When she got home, she figured she’d look over the notes the girl wrote. Her business proposal is due tonight and despite her exhaustion, she figures she better make some edits before turning it in. Not that it will make any difference. She sighs heavily. 

“I can’t believe I was so mean to Midge,” she mumbles. “She drew a smiley face on top of this paper even after all the shit I said to her.”

Nikki, who is sitting next to her scrolling on her phone, looks up. 

“You were mean to your tutor?!” she exclaims. “What the fuck, Summer?! That poor girl is trying to help you!” 

Summer scowls, a wave of anger crashing through her, taking the place of her shame.

“I already feel bad!” she hisses. “You don’t have to rub it in!” 

Nikki puts her hands up in surrender. “Okay okay! Sorry! I just…I want you to succeed in school and you can’t really do that if you’re going to scare your tutor off.” 

Summer rolls her eyes. 

“Like tutoring is even going to help!” she snaps. “I’m screwed when it comes to school!” 

The girls fall into silence. Summer can’t help but glance at Nikki. The girl’s brow is furrowed in thought. 

After a moment, she turns to Summer. “Why don’t you schedule another office hours session? Didn’t the office hour you went to last Friday help at all?” 

Summer scoffs. “No. Nothing can help my stupid ass.” 

Nikki puts a hand up. 

“Okay, I’m going to stop you right there!” she exclaims. “You are not stupid!” 

Summer rolls her eyes. “I am! I get Ds on every assignment and sometimes even an F!” 

Nikki’s frustrated expression fades as her eyes widen with concern. 

“Summer,” she begins, her voice several times softer. “You…”

“Just stop!” Summer snaps. “I don’t need your pity!”

She scoffs nastily before standing up. As she sees the affronted expression on Nikki’s face, guilt immediately fills her. 

“I’m going to work out,” she mumbles, before leaving the room.

XXX
Friday October 7th
6:32 pm

“Come on Summer!” Coach Pierce roars. “Faster! Kick the ball like you mean it!” 

Summer nearly stops in her tracks as a wave of panic courses through her. She suddenly feels light-headed. Did Coach just…

Her thoughts are cut off as the ball sails towards her. Jolted back into the present, she kicks the ball as hard as she can. She growls in frustration as it misses the net by an inch. She can't believe she's messing up this badly. She's never like this. She can't even bring herself to look at her teammates. She desperately wants to run away and hide, but there's no way she can do that. She has to stay here and face the humiliation. 

Luckily, Coach doesn't reprimand her again. Still, she feels no better. She's letting her team down. It doesn't matter that this is just practice. It doesn't matter that she's in a state of utter exhaustion. She's supposed to be better than this. She has to be better than this. She was made team captain for a reason. She can't show these girls her weakness. Weak, her mind hisses. Dumb loser. The ball comes tumbling towards her again. 

“I’m not weak,” she hisses. 

Channeling the sudden wave of rage that has swept over her, she kicks the ball with all her might. When it hits the net, she’s never felt more relieved. The positive feeling quickly fades though as her gaze travels to Coach. He’s holding a clipboard and writing something on it. Immediately, her mind is flooded with a memory. 

She’s a child again. Her mom is standing on the sidelines writing on a clipboard as Summer and Blaine play soccer. Blaine is one point ahead of her, and she’s trying with a fierce determination to catch up. 

“Come on, Summer!” her mom yells. “Blaine is gaining on you again! Kick the ball harder! He’s going to be higher on the athletic chart this week if you don’t try harder!” 

Summer is pulled from her whirlpool of thoughts as the ball comes flying towards her again. She kicks as quickly as she can, forgetting to position herself properly, and it misses the net by at least three inches. Her heart drops to the pit of her stomach. Her face blazes with heat. She can’t help but look over at Coach, and she sees her mom instead, a disappointed scowl on her face. 

XXX
7:16 pm

“You okay, Summer?” 

Summer blinks in surprise as she’s yanked from the depths of her mind. Her teammate, Natasha, is sitting on the locker room bench beside her. Her eyes are wide with concern. Summer’s humiliation heightens. She hopes her cheeks don’t look as hot as they feel. Reluctantly, she faces the girl. 

“Oh, I-I’m fine.” Fuck. Why did she have to stutter? She clears her throat. “I’m totally fine.” 

Natasha still looks worried. 

“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, her voice soft. 

Summer nods. “Yup. I feel fine. I’m just tired.” 

Even admitting that she’s tired makes her feel like more of a failure. 

Natasha gives her an encouraging smile. “Yeah, I know what that’s like. Just try to get some sleep, okay?” 

Summer gives her a small smile back. “I will.” 

Natasha gives her shoulder a pat before standing up and walking away. Summer sits stiffly, her face blazing hot. She can’t believe she’s made her fatigue noticeable to her team. It’s one thing for Nikki to know she’s exhausted, but her teammates and Coach? She needs to get her shit together. 

XXX
8:16 pm

“Come on, Summer!” she hisses. “6 miles! Let’s do this!”

She starts the treadmill with a trembling head. As she runs, the image of her mom holding the clipboard won’t fade. She sprints faster and faster, turning the speed of the treadmill up higher than she ever does. Maybe she can outrun these memories if she runs fast enough. Why is she so bothered anyway? She was a child when that happened. She’s 21 now. She should be over it. It’s stupid and pointless and weak to fixate on her past so much. As an hour passes and the images and noises of her mom yelling at her linger, she realizes running won’t erase them. Maybe nothing ever will. 

XXX
10:24 pm

Sweat is pouring down her face as she lifts the dumbbells over her head again and again. She’s not sure why she’s embarrassed by her loud grunting. Nobody else is here. She can’t help it though. Her muscles are on fire. She’s felt like she’s about to collapse for the last hour. She refuses to do so though no matter how much her legs and arms scream with pain. 

When she finally determines that she’s lifted weights long enough, she goes over to the rack of dumbbells to put them away. She’s not sure how it happens, but when she’s about to set the second one down, it slips from her grip and lands with a sickening crunch on her other hand. The pain is so consuming, she falls to her knees. 

“Ow!” she shrieks. 

She clutches her clearly broken hand to her chest. She heaves, but after taking a few deep, shaky breaths the urge to vomit fades. Tears prick her eyes, but she refuses to let them fall. She bites down on her tongue as hard as she can, stubbornly holding in the sob that’s building in her throat. Crying over an injury is pathetic. She’s not pathetic. 

XXX
10:42 pm

The pain has only increased by the time she gets back to her dorm. Thankfully Nikki is asleep. The last thing she needs right now is the girl fussing over her. She takes some Advil before getting an ice pack from the freezer. It’s difficult to execute tasks with one hand, but for at least the next month she’ll have to manage. She sits on the couch, holding the ice pack over her quickly swelling hand. The cold does little to ease the pain. She’s still biting her tongue, refusing to let the tears burning her eyes fall. Deep down she knows the pain is only a small factor of why she’s on the verge of tears. This injury is the icing on top of the cake of weeks of exhaustion and inner turmoil. She won’t admit to any of that though, even to herself. 

XXX

In the shower, she simply can’t stay standing. The pain is making her head spin and her stomach lurch with nausea. She dry heaves again, but with some deep breaths, she’s once again able to avoid vomiting. Her mind is clouded with pain, but somehow thoughts of her mom come creeping back in. This time the woman isn’t holding a clipboard though. She’s staring down at Summer, a deep scowl on her face. 

“Are you really crying over a sprained ankle?!” her mom exclaims, voice filled with contempt. “Pathetic!” 

Summer is sitting on the ground by the soccer goal, clutching her ankle, sobs cutting her throat like blades. 

It takes her a moment to realize that it’s not just her childhood self crying. Tears are actually streaming down her face, mingling with the shower water. Her throat is actually burning as she sobs with such force that her entire body shakes. She clutches her hand to her chest, head bowed.

“Stop it, Summer!” she hisses, voice trembling. “Stop it!” 

No matter how much she berates herself for her weakness though, the sobs won’t cease their hold on her. The tears won’t stop coming. Finally, she can’t put up a fight anymore. The exhaustion, the pain, the memories invading her mind…it’s all too much. So she just cries until her head throbs and her chest aches.

XXX

She’s not sure how she falls asleep at all that night. Even though the Advil she took soothes her broken hand slightly, the pain is still piercing. Finally though, around five in the morning, her fatigue wins out and she drifts off. 

XXX
Saturday October 8th 
9:17 am

As soon as she wakes up, she takes more Advil. The pain in her hand is still intense enough to make her stomach churn with nausea. As she leaves her bedroom and walks down the hall, she desperately hopes that Nikki isn’t up yet. Being alone will give her a chance to ice her hand again. Her hand is so swollen, she can’t help but wince at the sight. 

She’s unable to hold back a frustrated sigh as she enters the living room and Nikki is on the couch, scrolling on her phone. Nikki looks up as she enters. Summer quickly stuffs her broken hand in the pocket of her pajama pants.

“Nice to see you too,” Nikki says sarcastically, glowering at Summer. 

Summer quickly collects herself. “Sorry. It’s not you. I’m just tired.” 

“Yeah, no shit. You didn’t get back from the gym until almost eleven last night.” 

Summer stiffens, panic rearing in her chest. “You were awake when I came home?!” 

Nikki raises an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?” 

Summer takes a deep breath, but the panic doesn’t fade. Did Nikki hear her crying?! Nikki would probably be concerned if that were the case, she reasons. The thought is still so horrifying though that she’s suddenly at a loss for words. 

“You good, girl?” Nikki asks, confusion evident in her voice. “You look like a deer in the headlights.” 

Summer shakes her head, quickly gathering her wits. 

She clears her throat. “O-oh I…I'm fine. Of course it's not a problem! Sorry. Like I said, I’m just really tired.” 

She clenches her jaw. This stuttering is getting really old. Her heart pounds as Nikki stares, once again analyzing her. It’s a moment of agonizing silence before Nikki speaks again. 

She sighs deeply, expression softening. “Summer, is there anything you want to talk about? I know you don’t like talking about your problems, but something is clearly going on with you and you’re my friend, so I want to be there for you, you know?” 

Summer’s eyes widen. Rarely is Nikki this heartfelt. She must be really worried. The all too familiar feeling of shame quickly floods her. She needs to reassure Nikki. 

She clears her throat. “I-I’m fine, Nikki. Really.” 

She doesn’t sound even remotely convincing and Nikki can clearly tell if the unimpressed expression on her face is anything to go by. Summer suddenly feels the anxious urge to crack her knuckles. Forgetting about her broken hand, despite the pain, she draws it out of her pocket. The gasp that Nikki lets out is so sharp, Summer flinches, her panic increasing. Nikki jumps up from the couch, hurrying over to her. 

“Holy shit, Summer!” she exclaims, eyes wide. “You broke your hand?! Why the fuck were you hiding this from me?! Oh my God it’s so swollen!” 

Summer is clueless as to how to respond. She’s frozen. Nikki reaches out as if to grab her hand, but quickly stops herself. 

She lets out a shaky breath. “You need to see a doctor! Get dressed and I’m taking you to the medical center!” 

Summer is shocked by the wave of anger that courses through her chest, replacing her panic. She doesn’t even think before speaking.

“I don’t need help!” she growls. “Leave me alone!” 

Nikki scowls. “Yes you do! I will not leave you alone! What kind of friend would I be if I stood by and let you leave a broken hand untreated?!” 

Summer stamps her foot. She’s aware of how childish she’s being, but she can’t seem to stop herself. She scowls just as deeply. 

“I can take care of myself! I’ll just ice it and take Advil!” 

Nikki scoffs. “You will not! If you know what’s good for you, you will put some clothes on and get your ass to the medical center!” 

XXX

As usual, Nikki wins the argument. After much protest, Summer finally gets dressed and with much struggle brushes her teeth, washes her face, and brushes her hair. 

Twenty minutes later, she’s walking across the campus with Nikki, heading towards the medical center. The silence between them is heavy. The scowl on Nikki’s face is so intimidating, students give them a wide berth. At least Summer doesn’t have to worry about fans approaching her. She makes sure to keep her hands in her pockets. The last thing she wants is students ogling at her broken hand. 

When they reach the medical center, Nikki holds the door open for her. 

“Thanks,” Summer mutters, as she walks in. 

The nurses and doctors immediately recognize her, greeting her with friendly smiles on their faces. She greets them back with as much enthusiasm she can muster. She’s had several injuries from soccer and basketball since starting at Malibu University, so nobody is surprised to see her. This is by far the stupidest way she’s ever injured herself though. 

As she explains how she obtained the injury to Doctor Landon, her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Nikki is sitting across the examination room on a chair. Her scowl has faded. Clearly her sympathy for Summer has won out. The thought makes Summer want to scowl herself. She hates people pitying her. 

XXX

After X rays determine that her hand is indeed broken, it's time to set her hand. She can’t help but let out a whimper as the doctor sets it. Her cheeks burn hotter. After he puts a cast on her hand, he instructs her to keep taking painkillers every four hours until the pain lessens. He then goes into a lengthy explanation about other aspects of the treatment. She nods along, but her attention is fading. Her attention span has never been good and the pain is still making her thoughts murky. Plus, she reasons, Nikki is definitely going to be listening. So she just lets her mind go blank.

XXX

As soon as they arrive home, Nikki exclaims, “Go sit down! I’m signing your cast!”

Summer smiles for the first time that day, mood suddenly lightening. 

She laughs. “I’m a little old for that, don’t you think?” 

Nikki waves her hand dismissively. “Nonsense!” 

Summer sits down on the couch and Nikki goes off to grab a Sharpie. She returns a moment later and sits down beside Summer. Summer rolls her eyes affectionately as Nikki adds hearts by her name on the bright blue cast. Summer is glad she got to choose her favorite color. 

“Okay, that’s enough hearts!” Summer exclaims, unable to hold back another laugh. 

“But I love you!” Nikki exclaims.

A lump rises in Summer’s throat. She quickly swallows it.

“Love you too,” she mutters, trying to ignore the way her eyes sting.

Chapter Text

Saturday October 8th
7:21 pm

“That’s looking so good, Teresa!” Midge exclaims. “I think you’re more of a macrame expert than me at this point!”

Teresa scoffs playfully. “Impossible! You’ll always be the queen of macrame!”

Midge giggles. “Okay, fineee. I’ll accept my title.”

Teresa laughs. “You better!”

Midge chuckles. They fall into comfortable silence then, both girls focusing intently on their macrame projects. 

A few minutes later, Teresa speaks again. “So you were saying Barbie’s audition for the magazine cover this afternoon went well?”

Midge grins. “Totally! She looked stunning as ever and the judges and photographers seemed very pleased with her!”

She smiles at the memory of Barbie in the hot pink minidress, posing for the camera. She’s always been a natural model. Midge is so incredibly happy for her friend. Getting to watch her live her dreams is amazing. 

Teresa smiles. “Do you know when she’ll find out if she got it?”

“Probably a couple weeks,” Midge replies. “I sure hope she gets it.”

“Me too. She deserves it.” 

“She sure does. She works so hard.” Midge sighs. “Too hard sometimes.” 

There’s another few minutes of silence as the girls finish up their projects. Macrame has been a favorite activity of Midge’s since she was a young child, and she was all too happy to teach Teresa when they became roommates last year. Teresa was a natural at it from the start, no doubt due to her ample sewing experience. 

“Done!” Teresa exclaims, holding up her hot pink wall hanging. 

Midge grins. “That’s beautiful, Teresa! You should definitely hang it in the living room!” 

Teresa giggles. “With our other billion macrame wall hangings?” 

Midge chuckles. “You can never have too many wall hangings.” 

Teresa smiles brightly. “Very true!”

Midge finishes her carnation pink wall hanging a few minutes later. 

“Gorgeous!” Teresa exclaims. “Definitely adding that one to the collection!” 

As usual when she’s complimented, Midge’s cheeks flush. 

“Thank you,” she says, her voice suddenly soft. 

Teresa grins. “Of course!” 

After they add their wall hangings to the collection on the living room wall, Midge decides to do some drawing. She’s in an artistic mood tonight, which admittedly is not at all uncommon for her. She sits down at her desk before pulling out a sheet of paper and her colored pencils. As usual when she draws, she loses all sense of time, becoming fully immersed in her vision of her artwork. Tonight she’s going for a fairytale aesthetic, drawing a castle. 

She yelps as there’s a tap on her shoulder. She immediately feels silly. Obviously it’s Teresa. She was just so caught up in her drawing that she lost awareness of her surroundings. She takes her earbuds out and pauses the classical music she was listening to before turning around to face Teresa. The girl has an apologetic expression on her face. 

Midge gives her a reassuring smile. “Sorry about that. I was just so caught up in my drawing, I forgot you were here.” 

Teresa smiles back. “That’s totally fine. Sorry for startling you. I just wanted to let you know that I’m heading to bed.” 

Midge looks down at her phone to check the time. Her eyes widen. 10:28 already? She had no idea it had gotten so late. 

“That’s looking amazing!” Teresa exclaims. “I love the colors!” 

Midge’s cheeks warm. 

“Thank you,” she murmurs. 

Teresa grins. “Of course. Hey, shouldn’t you be going to bed? It’s your birthday tomorrow!”

Midge giggles. “Why the urgency?”

“You'll need energy…right? Isn't that how it works? You sleep and that’s what gives you energy?” 

She narrows her eyes and taps her chin in thought. Midge giggles. Teresa's air-headedness is as endearing as ever. 

Midge nods. “You’re right. I’ll head to bed soon.” 

Teresa smiles. “Alright, sounds good. I’m going to go to bed now. See you in the morning!” 

Midge grins. “See you in the morning! Sleep well!” 

“Thanks! You too!” 

After Teresa leaves the room, Midge puts her drawing in her binder of artwork. She’ll finish it soon. After placing her binder in her desk drawer, she pulls out her laptop and gets to work on her story. 

Once her eyes start fluttering, the urge to sleep coming over her, she stops writing. She only got about 1,500 words done, but that’s okay. She can’t be a writing machine every night. 

After she lies down and covers herself with her quilt, a wave of relaxation comes washing over her. It only takes her a couple minutes to fall into a peaceful sleep. 

XXX
Sunday October 9th
8:12 am 

When Midge walks into the kitchen the next morning, she’s greeted by the sight of Teresa flipping a large pancake onto a plate. Teresa turns to Midge and smiles brightly. 

“Happy birthday!” she exclaims. “I made you a birthday pancake!” 

Midge’s chest warms with gratitude and endearment for her friend. 

“Aww thank you so much! That is too sweet of you!” 

Teresa grins. “Of course! Anything for my bestie!” 

She picks up a bottle of syrup from the counter, pouring an ample amount on the pancake. Midge grins before walking over to the table. After she sits down, Teresa sets the plate and a fork in front of her. Midge is about to dig in when Teresa exclaims, “Wait! I’ve got to put a birthday candle in!” 

Midge raises an eyebrow. “We have birthday candles?” 

Teresa smiles brightly. “Yup! I bought some!” 

Midge laughs. “You’re really prepared!” 

Teresa grins. “Of course I am!” 

She walks back into the kitchen, opens up a drawer, and a moment later she approaches the table holding a red birthday candle and a lighter. She sticks the candle in the middle of the pancake before turning on the lighter. Midge stiffens, a wave of panic coursing through her. She has a feeling Teresa and fire aren't a good combination, but luckily the girl succeeds in lighting the candle without any mishaps. She turns the lighter off and sets it down before launching into a highly enthusiastic performance of “Happy Birthday.” 

Midge grins, loving every second of Teresa’s singing. As soon as the song comes to a stop, Midge blows the candle out. 

“Yay!” Teresa exclaims, clapping excitedly. 

Midge gives the girl a smile before taking the candle out. She then picks up the fork and begins to eat the pancake. Teresa sits down beside her. As soon as Midge swallows her first bite, she smiles brightly at the girl. 

“This is amazing! Thanks so much, Teresa!” 

Teresa blushes. Similar to Midge, she often flushes when people praise her. 

“Of course, Midge!” she exclaims. 

Midge grins before going back to eating her pancake. My birthday is off to a fantastic start, she thinks to herself, smiling widely. 

XXX
10:16 am 

Midge is sitting on the couch, watching House Hunters with Teresa, when her phone buzzes. She picks it up from the coffee table and when she sees who’s video chatting her, she grins, a wave of excitement coursing through her. Teresa turns the TV off as Midge answers. 

“Happy birthday, Midge!” every present member of the Roberts family exclaim in unison. 

Chelsea, adorable as ever in pigtails and a pink dress, yells it so loudly that Midge has to resist the urge to cover her ears. She can’t blame the girl for being rowdy though. She’s only six. 

Midge smiles brightly. “Thank you so much, guys! It’s so nice to see you!” 

Barbie’s mom Margaret smiles softly, her light blue eyes kind as ever. She tucks a platinum blonde lock of hair behind her ear before answering, “It’s so nice to see you too, sweetie!” 

“How are you going to be celebrating the big 21?” Barbie’s dad, George, asks, smiling widely. 

He may have large black glasses, but the happiness in his eyes is still clear. His salt and pepper hair is neatly combed as usual.

Midge grins. “I’m going to Olive Garden with Barbie, Ken, Teresa, Raquelle, and Ryan for dinner. We’re going to be getting lots of breadsticks, that’s for sure!” 

Barbie’s parents and sisters laugh. 

“Ugh I wish I was there!” Skipper, Barbie’s fourteen year old sister, the only brunette amongst her blonde sisters, groans. “I love those breadsticks!” 

Stacie, Barbie’s eleven year old sister, gives Skipper a reproving frown. “You mean you wish you could be there to celebrate Midge’s birthday, right?” 

Midge giggles. Stacie’s insistence on proper behavior is as endearing as always. 

Skipper rolls her eyes. “Well that too obviously.” 

Midge decides she better change the subject. “So how’s school going, girls?” 

Skipper grimaces. “High school is boringgg!” 

Midge chuckles. “Didn’t you always think school is boring?” 

Skipper shrugs, expression nonchalant as ever. “Fair.” 

Midge giggles. 

“Well, first grade is amazing!” Chelsea exclaims, an adorable grin on her face. “We actually get homework! Finally we get to do some real work! All that free play in kindergarten got really old.” She rolls her eyes. 

Midge and the rest of the family laugh. Chelsea may be the only six year old in existence this excited about homework. 

“What about you, Stace?” Midge asks, smiling at the girl. 

“Sixth grade is a lot of fun,” Stacie replies, smiling back. “We even get to do some science experiments! We looked at leaves under microscopes last week! It was so cool!” 

Midge grins. “That’s awesome, Stace! Science is so fun!” 

Midge has always been somewhat of a science nerd herself, liking biology and chemistry in particular. 

“How’s work going?” Midge asks Margaret and George. 

Margaret smiles gently. “Thanks for asking, sweetie. The blueprints for the building my team and I are planning are going well. We’re thinking construction can begin within the next few months.” 

“That’s awesome!” Midge exclaims. “I’m sure it will be amazing!” 

Margaret smiles. “Thank you, love.”

“And the documentary I’m making about white squirrels has been going great,” George says, smiling widely. “We’re almost done with filming.” 

Midge grins. “That’s amazing! I can’t wait to watch it!” 

George grins back. “Thanks, dear.” 

Midge smiles brightly. “Of course, guys!” 

Midge has always found their jobs fascinating. She was lucky enough to get to go to work with both of them a few times as a child. 

They continue to talk for about half an hour, changing the subject to how school and work is going for Midge. Midge has a large smile on her face the whole time. The Roberts family has been a place of refuge for her nearly her whole life. She could never even begin to express how grateful she is for every one of them. 

XXX
11:04 am

The Carson family video chats her next. Just like the Roberts family, they all exclaim, “Happy birthday, Midge!” immediately after she answers.

She grins. “Thanks, guys!” 

The conversation is much like the one she had with the Roberts family. They ask her about her birthday plans, and then she goes on to ask them about school and work. Ken’s seventeen year old brother, Tommy, sighs when she asks him about how his senior year of high school is going. 

“It’s so hard! It’s more homework than ever! I thought senior year was supposed to be the most relaxing one!” 

Midge chuckles and shakes her head. “That’s a total lie. Senior year is definitely the hardest. I speak from experience.” 

Ken’s mom, Polly, shakes her head, a fond smile on her face. “We were trying to tell him that. He won’t listen to us though, like usual.” 

The humor is evident in her voice. She bumps Tommy’s shoulder playfully as he scowls. He looks so much like Ken, sometimes it’s disconcerting. 

Ken’s dad, John, changes the topic. “We’re looking forward to seeing you over Thanksgiving break, Midge! It’s coming up!” 

Midge grins. “It sure is! I can’t wait!” 

He then asks her about how school and work are going, and she tells them almost everything, but she deems it best to leave Summer and Keaton out of the conversation. Just like with the Roberts, they talk for about half an hour. 

After the video chat, Midge sits silently for a few minutes, thinking about how blessed she is to have two families who would do anything for her. Even though her own family has been in shambles since she was thirteen, she knows she never has to worry about the Roberts or Carson family leaving her side. 

XXX
12:48 pm

“I’m so glad we’re hanging out before dinner!” Midge exclaims, as she gets into the passenger seat of Barbie’s car. 

Barbie grins as she sits down in the driver’s seat. “Me too!” 

Teresa sits in the back. As usual, Midge and Teresa both tried to give each other the passenger seat, but Midge finally gave in as Teresa reminded her that it’s her birthday, claiming she should get special privileges. 

“You two and your politeness battles,” Barbie laughs as she starts the car. 

Midge’s stomach suddenly flutters with nerves as Barbie backs up. Barbie is known for her erratic driving, and needless to say Midge who is known for her safety-loving ways, has a difficult time when her friend is in the driver’s seat. I should’ve offered to drive, she thinks miserably as Barbie speeds off. It’s not like it would’ve mattered though. Barbie would’ve insisted on driving, claiming that the birthday girl shouldn’t have to drive. Midge will just have to grin and bear it until they arrive at Barbie and Raquelle’s apartment. 

XXX
1:02 pm

As soon as Midge steps through the front door and the rest of her friends pop out from behind furniture, yelling “Surprise!” her eyes flood with tears. As they come towards her and each take turns hugging her, even Raquelle, she’s at a loss for words. She truly has the best friends in the world and she doesn't know how to even begin to express her gratitude. 

When Barbie gives her a hug, one of their customary tight squeezes, the tears start streaming down her face. 

“Aww don’t cry,” Barbie coos. 

She pulls back a moment later, gently wiping Midge’s tears away with her thumbs. 

Midge sniffs. “I can’t thank you guys enough.” 

Barbie scoffs. “No need to thank us. We love you, Midge!” 

More tears drip from Midge’s eyes. 

“I love you guys too,” she murmurs, before pulling Barbie into another crushing embrace. 

XXX

Midge pulls herself together a couple minutes later, and then she dives right into partying. Barbie set her stereo up before Midge arrived and cheerful pop music is playing. Midge dances with her friends. As Ken drops to the floor and does the worm, his customary dance move, she bursts into laughter. The only person who doesn’t laugh is Raquelle, but it’s clear by the twitching of her lips that it’s difficult for her not to. 

XXX

“Thank you so much for baking this amazing cake, Barbie!” Midge exclaims after she swallows her first bite of the strawberry cake Barbie prepared. “It’s absolutely delicious!” 

Barbie grins. “Of course, Midge! You know we were going to provide you with something better than Olive Garden!” 

Midge chuckles. “Okay, I will admit that this is even better than Olive Garden.” 

Barbie laughs. “That is quite the compliment coming from you!” 

Midge giggles. “It sure is.”

XXX

Midge smiles brightly the whole time she opens her presents. Every gift is sweet and thoughtful, even Raquelle’s, who gifts her an adorable charm bracelet. Barbie must’ve told her Midge adores charm bracelets. The only person whose gift isn’t thoughtful is Ryan’s, but that’s to be expected. He gives her a card with a picture of himself winking and doing finger guns taped to it. There’s a 20 dollar bill inside though, which is more than she expected from him. She giggles at the photo. He looks ridiculous, but it’s doubtless to say that he thinks he looks amazing. 

“Thanks, Ryan!” she exclaims. 

He winks at her and does finger guns, identical to his pose in the picture. “No prob, dude.” 

She chuckles. He’s always called her “dude” since the first time they met. Before, when she still had a crush on him, it bothered her, but since she’s gotten over the attraction she finds it funny. Now that she’s done opening presents, she gives each of her friends a wide smile.

“Thank you, everybody!” she exclaims. “This has been the best birthday ever!” 

XXX

Midge's mom calls about 20 minutes later. Midge smiles as the woman wishes her a happy birthday. She's sounding at least a little happy. They talk about how Midge's birthday is going, but after about 10 minutes, her mom says she has to go. Midge doesn't mind. This is longer than the woman usually talks to her. Midge gets right back to dancing with her friends after the phone call ends, feeling even more light-hearted than before. 

XXX

Midge is so exhausted from her birthday festivities that she only gets about 1,000 words of writing done that night, but she’s especially satisfied by the last couple lines. 

"Ingrid may have gone through experiences that make her shudder at the memory of, but that doesn’t erase the fact that there are people in her life that love her and would do anything for her. There is no greater gift than this."

Chapter Text

Thursday October 13th
2:36 pm

As soon as Midge walks into the smoothie bar and her eyes land on Barbie and Ken sitting across the room, a wide grin forms on her face. This is just what she needs before her tutoring session with Summer. As they notice her approaching, they smile just as brightly and wave. She waves back. 

“Hi!” she exclaims as she sits down next to Barbie. “Sorry I’m late.” 

“Six minutes late?!” Ken, who's sitting across from them, exclaims, a jokingly angry expression on his face. “We expect better of you, young lady!” 

She giggles. “Okayyy, I know it’s only six minutes, but I’m never late. This is weird.” 

Barbie chuckles. “That’s true. What kept you?” 

Midge sighs. “Teresa. She’s kind of losing it over her presentation at 5:30. You know how I told you she’s presenting three dresses to a panel of judges later? Well, she’s really nervous. I took my five o’ clock tutoring session off today, so I can go with her for moral support, but she’s still not doing well. So I was just on the phone with her doing my best to give her a pep talk. She says she feels under the weather today, but I’m not sure whether that’s the truth or if she’s just trying to get out of it.” 

Barbie frowns sympathetically. “Poor girl. I wish I could come along too, but I have my film class at that time.” 

Midge gives her friend a reassuring smile. “I’m sure she understands. How about we order? I need some strawberry banana smoothie in my life right about now.” 

Ken nods. “Good idea! I’ll go take our orders. What would you like, Barbie?” 

Barbie smiles. “That’s alright, Ken. I’ll take our orders today.” 

Midge’s eyes widen. “Oh I can do it!” 

Barbie shakes her head. “Nonsense. You have work today. Let me handle it.” 

At the reminder of her tutoring session with Summer, Midge freezes, and that gives Barbie enough time to rush over to the line. 

Ken chuckles. “That sneaky thing!” 

Midge’s muscles unclench slightly as Ken looks at her, an encouraging smile on his face. 

“You nervous about your session with Summer?” he asks. “You said she was fine last week, right?” 

Midge purses her lips. “That’s true. But who knows? She could’ve just been too tired to think of anything rude to say.” 

Ken shrugs. “That could be it, but maybe not. Maybe she feels bad for what a jerk she was and she’s going to be nicer from now on.” 

Midge rests her chin on her hand, brow furrowing in thought. If last week is anything to go by, Summer doesn’t seem like all too bad of a person. She was kind to those fangirls. Plus, she’s clearly going through something. Those circles under her eyes may be the darkest ones Midge has ever seen. 

She’s pulled from her thoughts as Ken speaks again. “Well, either way I know you can handle this. You’ve gotten this far and I know you can keep going.” 

Midge smiles softly, touched like she often is by Ken’s kindness. 

“Thank you, Ken,” she says, a sudden confidence in her voice. “You’re right. I can do this.” 

XXX

Barbie and Ken have to leave at 3:15 to get to their classes, so Midge finds herself at the writing center more than half an hour early. Like she often does when she’s early, she goes to the front desk to talk to the receptionist, Sandra. They aren’t particularly close, but Sandra is sweet and Midge considers her a friend. 

“So you’re tutoring Summer again,” Sandra says. “How is that going?” 

Midge takes a second to debate how to answer that. She probably shouldn’t be honest. Even though her relationship with Sandra is casual, she’s still in the workplace. 

“It’s been fine,” she replies, the lie tasting bitter on her tongue. She hates being dishonest. 

Sandra raises an eyebrow, clearly too perceptive to buy Midge’s claims. Still, she doesn’t press her for details. 

“Well, she sure needs tutoring,” she says. “I heard Morgan saying that Summer will get kicked off the soccer team if she doesn’t get her grades up.” 

Midge frowns. In that case, it’s rather peculiar that Summer hasn’t been trying harder to succeed in tutoring sessions. She gets the feeling, if the girl’s athletic appearance is anything to go by, that sports are her livelihood. Come to think of it though, this dilemma would explain how exhausted she looks. If it’s weighing on her so heavily though, why isn’t she putting more effort in? 

She’s pulled back to the present as Sandra speaks again. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.” The girl winces. “Gosh, I can be a real gossip sometimes.” 

Midge smiles reassuringly. “That’s fine, Sandra. Don’t worry about it. That’s good to know actually. Now I know I need to try even harder to help her.” 

The problem is, she has no idea how to go about doing that. 

XXX

Well, so much for helping Summer achieve better grades. The girl didn’t even bother to show up to the session. Midge isn’t sure why she’s so frustrated. Why does Summer’s success matter to her so much? In addition to barely knowing her, the girl was rude and insulting to her. She should be happy she didn’t show up. The irritation burning in her chest doesn’t fade though as she leaves the writing center. She has the sudden urge to confront the girl, to knock some sense into her. She takes a deep breath, trying to push this unexpected anger to the back of her mind. Now is the time to support Teresa, not fixate on her feelings. 

She’s almost to the fashion design building when her phone buzzes. She quickly draws it out of her pocket. It’s a text from Teresa. She frowns sympathetically as she reads it. 

[Teresa 5:14 pm] Feeling real sick now. Cant make it sorry 😣

“Aww poor girl,” Midge murmurs, as she types her response. 

[Midge 5:15 pm] I’m so sorry you’re not feeling well. I’ll be back soon. There’s just one thing I need to do first. 💖

[Teresa 5:16 pm] No prob see u soon

[Midge 5:16 pm] See you soon. 💕

After Midge shoves her phone back in her pocket, she sighs, steeling herself. Really she should go back to her dorm and tend to Teresa, but a sudden wave of impulsiveness has come over her. This is a rare occurrence for her. Rather than suppress the urge though, she decides to pursue it. It’s time Summer gets a wake up call, and Midge has a feeling she knows exactly where the girl is.

XXX
5:24 pm

As soon as she reaches the soccer field and sees Summer, her frustration burns even hotter. She groans, dreading the oncoming interaction. The girl is alone. She’s standing by one of the goals, dribbling a soccer ball. Midge takes a deep, shaky breath, and ignoring the nervous tingling in her stomach, she proceeds. 

“Summer!” she calls. 

The girl appears not to hear her, continuing to dribble the ball. That, or she’s just ignoring her. Midge wouldn’t put it past her.

“Summer!” she yells. 

Again, there’s no response. Midge scoffs. This girl is really going to make her walk all the way over there, isn't she? 

“Can’t believe this,” she mutters to herself, as she steps onto the grassy field and starts making her way towards Summer.

She’s within a few yards of her now and Summer still makes no indication that she’s noticed her presence. 

Midge growls. “Summer!” 

It happens in slow motion. In one quick, fluid movement, Summer kicks the ball towards the net. Midge notices too late that that’s right where she is. The last thing she sees is the ball hurtling towards her before it crashes into her face, slamming hard against her mouth. Her eyes close at the impact. The force throws her off balance, and she drops to her knees. The metallic taste of blood immediately fills her mouth. Everything is fuzzy as she slowly regains her senses. She raises her hand to her mouth, and as she pulls it back, her eyes widen at the sight. Her knuckles are smeared with blood. She can feel it dripping from her mouth, landing in droplets on the grass beneath her. She bursts into tears. Truthfully it doesn’t even hurt that much, but the shock and the dreaded sight of blood overwhelm her. 

All of a sudden, Summer is crouched down beside her. Her eyes are wide with shock and…is that concern?

“Shit! Oh my God Midge, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!”

Midge continues to cry. The shock that’s overcome her is so intense, she still feels like her stomach is dropping.

“No no no, don't cry, Midge!” Summer exclaims, voice tight with anxiety. “It's okay! You'll be fine! We’ll go put some ice on it and you'll feel better quick!” 

Midge clenches her teeth as boiling anger quickly overpowers her shock. 

“Y-You meant to do that!” she yells, pointing a trembling finger at Summer. 

Even in the midst of her pain and disorientation, she knows that she’s being childish. It’s pretty obvious that Summer hadn’t seen her. But in this moment all her frustrations with Summer, all the things the girl has done to annoy her, rise to the surface and all she wants to do is chew the girl out. 

“W-What did I ever do to y-you?!” she exclaims. 

She can barely get the words out between her gasping sobs. She knows she’s being ridiculous, but she’s too furious to care. Summer’s worried expression quickly morphs into one of frustration. 

“Of course I didn't mean to!” she snaps. “What were you doing standing in front of the net anyway?!” 

Midge growls. “D-Don’t you dare put this on me! I-I’m not the one who’s so reckless I kick people in the face with balls! N-Now I might have a c-concussion, thanks to you!” 

Summer scoffs. “A concussion?! It didn’t even hit your head!” 

Midge opens her mouth, but is suddenly unable to come up with any retorts. She scrubs at her eyes furiously. Summer sighs heavily, schooling her face into a neutral expression. 

“I’m not going to argue with you anymore. You’re not thinking clearly and you're in pain. Let’s go back to my place. You’re going to want to put some ice on that.” 

“I a-am thinking clearly!” Midge snaps. 

As soon as she says it though, she’s aware that she’s preaching to the choir. 

“Yeah, sure,” Summer says dismissively, before offering her hand. 

Midge refuses her help, shakily rising to her feet on her own. Summer rolls her eyes before picking up her soccer ball and a blue backpack that Midge didn’t notice until now. 

“Come on,” she says, slinging the backpack over her shoulders. 

Midge walks alongside her across the soccer field. Thankfully she's starting to calm, her sobs reduced to just the occasional hiccup.

Suddenly coming back to her senses, she realizes something. 

“You’re taking me back to your place? I just met you and you’ve been super mean to me! How can I know if I can even trust you?!”

Summer scoffs, but her guilty expression is clear. That has Midge’s brow furrowing in confusion. Is she really sorry for how she behaved or is she putting on an act? 

“You don’t have to come with me. I’m just trying to help. But if you're really convinced I'm trying to kidnap you or something, by all means, don't come.” 

Midge reasons that Summer is right. The girl may be rude, but she doesn’t exactly seem like the criminal type. 

“Okay fine, I'll come,” Midge mumbles. 

Summer slows her pace when Midge struggles to keep up, a surprisingly kind act that leaves Midge wondering: is the girl really that bad? She seems genuinely remorseful, and she’s actually trying to take care of her. She could’ve easily just left when Midge started giving her a hard time. Midge shoves the thoughts down. Summer is obnoxious and rude and self-centered. She doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt after what a pill she’s been. Another intrusive thought pops into Midge’s head: hasn’t she been a pill too though? No, the egocentric part of her brain insists. Summer was disrespectful from the start. You only retaliated afterward. Then the more reasonable portion of her brain speaks up again: You always give people more chances though. Why not Summer? Doesn’t she deserve another chance too?

She’s pulled from her thoughts by a hand gently tapping her shoulder. 

She blinks, shaking her head. “Huh?” 

She starts when she realizes they’re at the door of what is presumably Summer’s dorm. Her eyes widen. She hadn’t even realized they’d gone inside a building. She must’ve been a lot more distracted than she thought. Summer is looking at her, brown eyes wide with concern. Midge observes that they’re still ringed with dark circles. Other than her tired appearance though, the girl looks normal. Her hair is neat and pulled back with a green headband. She’s wearing a light blue hoodie today. And…is that a cast on her hand? How did she not notice that until now?

“Shit,” Summer mutters. “Maybe you are concussed.” 

Midge quickly shakes her head. “No. I was just…thinking.” 

Summer looks doubtful, but she doesn’t argue. She pulls her backpack off and takes a key out before slinging it back over her shoulder. After she unlocks the door, she motions for Midge to go inside first. 

“Thanks,” Midge murmurs, as she walks in. 

Summer shuts the door behind them and flicks the light on. Midge is surprised by how clean the living room is. If the state of Summer’s backpack is anything to go by, she’d assumed that the girl’s living area would be a mess. It’s a normal-looking room though with a turquoise couch, a light blue carpet, a coffee table with a TV on it, and a purple orchid on the windowsill. That shocks Midge even further. She didn’t peg Summer as the orchid type. She’s jolted out of her thoughts by the girl chuckling. 

“You surprised by how clean my dorm is?” she asks, an amused expression on her face. “Believe me, it wouldn’t be if it weren’t for my roommate.” 

Midge’s eyes widen. 

“O-Oh I-I didn’t mean...” she stutters.

Summer chuckles. “It’s fine. I know my backpack is a disaster zone, but my dorm actually isn’t.” 

Midge’s face burns. She shakes her head, about to protest further, but Summer changes the subject. 

“Here, why don’t you rinse your mouth out in the bathroom and I’ll grab you an ice pack? The bathroom is just down the hall on the right.” 

Midge nods, suddenly at a loss for words. She still can’t shake her embarrassment as she walks down the hall. How could she be so thoughtless, ogling Summer's living room like that?

She enters the bathroom and shuts the door before turning the sink on. The bathroom is just as clean as the living room. She winces at her appearance in the mirror. The injury isn’t at all bad, but the sight of the bloody cut on her lip makes her shudder. She hates blood. Quickly looking away, she washes her hands. After rinsing her mouth, the metallic taste of blood fades. She sighs in relief. Not wanting to use one of the towels, she wipes her mouth on her sweater. 

As she looks around Summer’s bathroom, it occurs to her how surreal this feels. She can’t believe she’s actually in the girl’s dorm right now. This is a place she never thought she’d visit to say the least. 

When she enters the living room, her eyes land on Summer who is sitting on the couch holding an ice pack wrapped in a towel. Midge’s stomach is suddenly fluttering as she sits down next to her. Her heart starts to pound as the girl hands the ice pack to her. 

“Here you go,” says Summer, her voice softer than Midge thought was possible for her. 

Their fingers brush as Summer hands her the ice pack, and Midge has to suppress a shiver. She didn’t expect the girl’s skin to be so soft. As she places the ice pack against her lip, she can’t help but consider what a strange thought that is. It’s not weird, her mind suddenly insists. It’s just that she’s an athlete, so I thought her hands would be calloused. That’s all it is. 

“Are you okay?” Summer murmurs. 

Midge’s eyes widen as she’s pulled from her reverie. As she slowly turns to Summer and sees the concerned expression on her face, she feels like she’s in some kind of alternate dimension. She never thought she’d see the day where Summer would be worried about her. She can’t get over how weird this is. It’s making it difficult for her to think clearly, but she has to say something. She’s already made enough of a fool of herself today. Plus, if she stays silent, Summer will probably become convinced that she has a concussion. 

Midge clears her throat, desperately hoping that her words come out coherently. “I-I’m fine. It doesn't even hurt that much. I think it's mostly the shock that made me cry.”

Relief floods her chest. She actually managed to not sound like a bumbling idiot. 

Summer nods. “Yeah, that makes sense. Hits to the face are very startling. I know from experience.” 

Midge smirks. For some strange reason, she suddenly feels confident, like she can actually talk to Summer without stuttering like a fool. 

“I bet you don’t bawl like a baby when you get hit.” 

“I mean, not really. But I’m used to it, so…” Summer’s voice trails off. 

Midge’s curiosity is piqued. “How often do you get hit in the face?” 

Summer shrugs. “Maybe like once every few months? I’ve had four concussions actually, but two of them were from basketball and one of them was from roller derby. Only one was from soccer.” 

Midge’s jaw drops, shock coursing through her. “Four concussions?!” 

Summer smirks, clearly enjoying the shock factor. 

“Yup! One of them was so bad that I was bed bound for a whole month! Nobody would let me do anything!”

Midge’s surprise gives way to sympathy. She frowns softly. 

“That must’ve been hard. I’m sorry.” 

The smile doesn’t leave Summer’s face. She waves her hand dismissively. 

“It’s no biggie. I’m all good now. The doctor did say that if I get another concussion it could be really bad though, so I have to be extra careful now.” 

Summer…careful? Those words are antonyms in Midge’s opinion. Even though she’s never watched the girl play in an actual game, she can’t begin to imagine her holding back. Still, she entertains Summer’s claims. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re careful. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt.” 

A frown suddenly replaces the smile on the girl’s face. Midge’s stomach drops. What did she say wrong? She’s racking her mind for what to say to remedy the situation when Summer speaks again. The girl’s voice is smaller than Midge has ever heard it. 

“I really am sorry that I hurt you. I hope you'll forgive me.”

Midge winces when she realizes she never accepted Summer’s apology. 

“I'm not mad,” she assures. “It was an honest mistake.”

Summer raises an eyebrow. “You're not mad? Really?”

“I mean, I was, but not anymore. You’re clearly sorry, so what is there to be mad about?” 

Summer’s frown deepens. “Well, you don't like me, so…”

Midge scoffs quietly. “Only because you don't like me.”

Summer shakes her head. “It’s not that I don’t like you. I just…ugh, I don’t know how to explain this.” 

Midge waits patiently while the girl gathers her thoughts. Summer sighs before continuing. 

“I don’t like my independence being messed with, so when my coach forced me to get tutoring, I was just pissed. So during my first session I was in a bad mood and then I ended up being a dumbass and offending you. Then I could tell that I’d ruined things between us, so I just kept being an asshole, thinking it was a lost cause. And I know that’s not a good excuse! I shouldn’t be an asshole at all, but sometimes…I just don’t know how to not be one.” 

As Summer’s rambling comes to a stop, her eyes widen. 

“Shit,” she mutters. “Why did I tell you all that? Jesus.” 

She facepalms, shaking her head. Midge suddenly feels the overwhelming urge to put her at ease. 

“It’s fine, Summer,” she says, trying to make her voice as reassuring as possible. “You can talk to me.” 

Summer sighs heavily. She reluctantly looks at Midge, cheeks pink with embarrassment. 

“I know. You seem nice. Nicer than me, that’s for sure. But why would you want to listen to my problems after I was so awful to you?” 

Midge is suddenly at a loss for words. Summer has a point. Why does she care so much? She’s a caring person to be fair, but the girl was horrible to her. Still, she reasons, Summer has shown her kindness today. She’s clearly not a bad person. She’s a good person who happens to be struggling right now. The rough patch she’s going through doesn’t excuse her terrible behavior of course, but like Midge was thinking earlier, Summer seems like the kind of person who deserves a second chance. 

“Did you hear about how I’ll get kicked off the team in two weeks if I don’t get my grades up?” Summer mumbles. 

Midge’s eyes widen. She didn’t expect the girl to bring that up. Summer is looking down at her lap, clearly embarrassed to meet Midge’s gaze. Midge desperately racks her brain for what to say. She has to be reassuring but not condescending. 

She’s opening her mouth to say what she hopes is encouraging when Summer speaks again. 

“I’m so sorry about how I acted.” 

Her voice is so heavy with guilt, it sends a sharp burst of pain through Midge’s chest. Sure, the girl messed up, but she doesn’t deserve to feel this amount of self-loathing. Midge has to put her at ease. 

“I-It’s fine, Summer. I forgive you.” Her voice trails off, as she desperately tries to think of what to say next. She lets out a relieved breath when the words mercifully come to her. “I’ll help you get your grades up, alright?” 

Summer finally meets her eyes. In the lamplight, the girl’s irises look almost golden. It’s not until Summer starts speaking again that Midge realizes she’s staring. She quickly tears her gaze away. 

“You don’t have to,” Summer says, her voice still uncharacteristically soft. “I know I was a mega bitch.” 

Midge can’t help but giggle at that. That brings a small smile to Summer’s face. 

“Well, whether you were a mega b word or not, I want to help you. You took all this time to take care of me after all.” Midge’s eyes widen as it suddenly occurs to her that Summer must be missing soccer practice. “Oh no! Don’t you have soccer practice?!” 

Summer shakes her head. “Usually I would, but Coach canceled this afternoon. He got sick suddenly and didn’t have time to call in a sub.” 

Midge sighs in relief. 

“My roommate is sick too,” she says, frowning. “Something must be going around.” 

Summer grimaces. “Yup. Unfortunately, cold and flu season is upon us. I really hope I don’t catch anything nasty.” 

Midge sighs. “Same. I have to take care of my roommate though. Let’s just hope my immune system stays strong.” 

Summer winces. “Fingers crossed.” 

Thinking of Teresa, Midge realizes she should probably get back home to tend to her. 

“Speaking of my roommate, I should probably go make sure she’s okay, but let’s do some tutoring tomorrow, okay? What time works for you?” 

Summer’s brow furrows in thought for a moment before she answers. “Would around eight be okay? That will give me enough time to shower after practice. I can go over to your place if that’s easier.” 

Midge nods. “That should work, as long as you don’t mind being in the same dorm as my roommate. I bet she’ll stay in her room anyway though.”

Summer grins. “I don’t mind. Alright, awesome! See you then!” 

Midge smiles. “See you then. Thanks for taking care of me.”

She hands the ice pack back to Summer. 

Summer gives her a small smile. “I mean, it’s the least I could do after I literally hit you in the face.” 

Midge shakes her head. “Don’t even worry about it. I shouldn’t have been standing in front of the net.” 

Summer chuckles. “Well, let’s just not make a habit of it. Deal?” 

Midge giggles. “Deal.”

Suddenly remembering the cast on Summer’s hand, Midge adds, “Is your hand okay?” 

Summer laughs nervously, a slightly anxious expression forming on her face. Midge’s brow furrows, confused by the girl’s sudden mood change. 

“Oh it’s fine,” Summer assures. “I just hurt it at practice.” 

Midge frowns. Breaking a hand while playing soccer seems strange, but she’s not going to question Summer. That would be rude. 

“Well, I hope it feels better soon,” she says, her voice soft. 

Summer grins, her nervous demeanor fading. “Thanks.” 

Midge chuckles. “Okay, I should really go now. See you later.” 

Summer waves. “See you later.” 

Summer follows her to the door and opens it for her. Midge thanks her as she walks out. Summer nods and waves one last time before shutting the door. 

As Midge makes her way down the hall, her first thought is that Summer is surprisingly chivalrous. Her second thought is that it’s strange that Summer lied to her about her hand injury. The girl has done nothing but surprise her today, and Midge gets the strange feeling that the surprises are only beginning.

XXX

After taking Teresa’s temperature, which is thankfully normal, and making her chicken noodle soup for dinner, Midge is overcome with the urge to write. She goes to her bedroom, pulls her laptop out of her backpack, and gets to work. She writes for over two hours. Then, coming out of her trance, she looks at her phone. It’s already 9:33 pm. She figures she better go check on Teresa and see if the girl needs anything else. 

Before shutting her laptop though, she does the usual and reads the last of what she wrote aloud. 

"Ingrid has always believed in second chances. That’s who she is, and that’s the way she’ll always be."

Chapter Text

Thursday October 13th 

All Summer can think about as she eats the garden salad she ordered for dinner is how absolutely bizarre this evening has been. She never in a million years would’ve thought Midge, the writing tutor she relentlessly insulted, would be in her house, talking with her casually. She can’t help but keep thinking: did that actually happen? Was Midge actually here, sitting on her couch, giggling at her jokes, forgiving her? Summer still can’t rid herself of the guilt constantly gnawing at her gut. Now that shame has only increased. She can still see the soccer ball sailing through the air, smacking Midge’s face. She’s hurt the girl now, not just verbally but physically. And still Midge forgave her. She looked into Summer’s eyes and reassured her that it’s okay. Summer knows it isn’t, but that didn’t stop the comforting sensation that came washing over her at Midge’s assurance. Even if the events of this evening feel surreal, the memories are emblazoned in her mind and the feelings it evoked are coursing through her with an intensity that shocks her. So, as much as the reality makes her head spin, it did indeed happen. And strangely enough, she’s glad it did. 

XXX
7:28 pm

“Hey, Nik,” Summer greets, as Nikki enters their dorm. 

“Hey, Summer,” Nikki replies, an unmistakably defeated tone to her voice. 

She collapses onto the couch next to Summer with a sigh. A wave of concern rushes through Summer. Nikki is rarely like this. Something must’ve happened. 

“You good?” she asks, endeavoring to make her voice soft. 

“Yeah,” Nikki answers, her voice uncharacteristically small. 

Summer’s worry increases, becoming a sharp twinge in her gut. 

“Is there anything you want to talk about?” she asks. 

She suddenly feels awkward. This is unfamiliar terrain, and nurturance doesn’t exactly come naturally to her. There’s a moment of silence. Nikki furrows her brow and chews her lip, like she’s debating whether to answer. Summer can’t help but tap her foot against the floor as nervous energy courses through her. 

Finally, Nikki turns to her. 

She sighs. “Sasha and I argued. That’s all.” 

Summer’s awkwardness only increases. She hasn’t the slightest idea of how to respond. She’s far from qualified to give relationship advice. Nikki looks so depleted though, her shoulders slumped, her jaw clenched, her expression downcast. She has to say something. 

She clears her throat. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 

She can’t help but wince. That’s really the best advice she could give? She racks her brain for what else to say, but nothing comes to mind. She fidgets uncomfortably, drumming her fingers against her knee. 

A moment later, Nikki gives her a small, grateful smile, and Summer finally relaxes. At least she didn’t totally screw things up. 

“You’re right,” Nikki murmurs. “We’ll be fine. Let’s just watch some South Park now.” 

Summer grins. “Sounds like a great plan.” 

XXX

For the first time in weeks, Summer sleeps soundly that night. 

XXX
Friday October 14th
7:31 am

When Summer’s eyes open the next morning, she’s immediately awestruck. She actually fell asleep easily and slept through the night. She has no idea how, but she’s beyond thrilled. 

When she walks into the kitchen, her eyes immediately land on Nikki, who is eating a bowl of cereal at the table. As soon as Nikki looks at her, she chuckles. 

“What you smiling about?” she teases. 

Summer grins. “I actually slept!” 

Nikki’s eyes widen in shock, but her startled expression is quickly replaced by a bright smile. 

“That’s amazing, Summer!” she exclaims. “Congrats, girl!”

Summer beams. “Thanks!” 

She pours herself a bowl of cereal before sitting down across from Nikki. 

“Oh, by the way,” she says, suddenly remembering her plans for later, “I’m going over to my writing tutor’s dorm at eight tonight. She’s going to help me with writing stuff.” 

Nikki’s jaw drops. Summer giggles at her friend’s astonished expression. 

“You mean that Midge girl?!” she exclaims. “I thought you two hated each other!” Her eyes narrow in confusion.

Summer chuckles. “Well, we made up.” 

She leaves it at that, not wanting to include the details of the tentative connection they made. It feels oddly personal. She can’t wrap her head around why, but she shoves the confusion down, not wanting to question it. Nikki’s eyebrow is raised. Clearly she wants more details, but evidently she decides it best not to press Summer for more information. 

She shrugs. “Cool.” 

Without another word, she goes back to eating her cereal. Summer does the same. The whole time she eats, the smile on her face doesn’t fade. 

XXX

Actually having energy is an amazing feeling. Summer gets through all her classes without the urge to sleep coming over her. All through soccer practice, she kicks the ball confidently, landing it in the net every time. Coach is still out sick, but the substitute seems highly pleased with her. Actually getting to experience pride again brings a goofy grin to her face that stays in place even after practice ends. 

XXX
8:00 pm

She arrives at Midge’s dorm at eight on the dot. It’s a rare occurrence for her to be perfectly on time to get-togethers, but she wants to put her best foot forward for Midge. She suddenly feels nervous, her confidence from earlier fading, as she knocks on the door. She’s not sure why her heart is pounding and her stomach is nervously fluttering. It’s a strange situation, she reasons. She never would’ve guessed she’d be going to Midge’s dorm. 

When Midge answers the door, the anxious tingling in Summer’s gut only increases. 

“Hi!” Midge exclaims, a bright smile on her face. “Come on in!” 

Despite her nerves, Summer manages to greet the girl back as she walks into the dorm. The first thing she registers is the sheer amount of wall hangings on the living room wall. Summer isn’t one for art, but even she admits that they’re beautiful. Other than that though, the living room is practically identical to hers and Nikki’s. 

“How are you doing?” Midge asks, a genuine cheer to her voice that brings a small smile to Summer’s face. 

The girl seems so happy to see her. Summer still can’t get over how kind Midge is, forgiving all the rude things she said and being so willing to help her. 

Summer’s eyes widen as she realizes it’s been several seconds and she still hasn’t answered. 

She quickly clears her throat. “I’m good. How are you?” 

Relief floods her chest when she doesn’t stutter. Maybe she can actually get through this conversation without making an utter fool of herself. 

“I’m good, thanks,” Midge replies, a bright smile on her face. 

She doesn’t seem the least bit perturbed that Summer took a while to answer. 

“I was thinking we could study at the kitchen table,” Midge continues. “Sound good?” 

Summer nods. “Yep. Sounds good.” 

Midge grins. “Great! It’s right this way!” 

She starts walking and Summer follows. As they go, she takes notice of Midge’s outfit. She’s wearing a red cardigan with white polka dots over a white shirt and blue jeans. Apparently she’s ditched the skirts now that it’s getting colder. Summer feels a surge of guilt yet again. It was extremely low of her to insult Midge’s style. It may be a bit eccentric, but that’s no excuse to make fun of it. Midge was right. Summer was acting like a grade school mean girl, and just the memory makes her cheeks burn with shame. 

As they approach the table, Summer tries to shove the memory to the back of her mind. Now isn’t the time to be drowning in remorse. Now is the time to focus on her studies. 

Midge sits down and Summer takes her backpack off before sitting next to her. She always sat across from Midge at the writing center, wanting to keep distance between them, but she figures it makes more sense to sit closer together when doing tutoring. 

Midge clears her throat. “Alright. So what did you want to take a look at first?” 

“Um…maybe this assignment I have due tomorrow?” 

Summer clenches her teeth. Why does she sound so uncertain? She’s not sure why she’s acting like such a bumbling idiot, but she needs to pull herself together. She takes a deep breath, hoping it’ll calm her, before unzipping her backpack and pulling her laptop out. 

Midge chuckles. “I see you cleaned your backpack out.” 

Summer chuckles, hating how nervous it sounds. “O-Oh yeah. I cleaned it last night.” 

Midge giggles. “Well, it looks good.” 

“Thanks,” she replies. 

Thank God her voice sounded more normal that time. Another triumph is that Midge hasn’t seemed to take notice of her awkwardness, or she’s just not reacting because she’s so freaking nice. God, Summer didn’t even know a person could be so sweet. Summer’s not sure why she’s even taken much notice of Midge’s kindness, but she can’t help but admire it. 

She opens up her laptop. The silence as she waits for it to load is so heavy that her foot starts tapping against the tile of its own accord. She lets out a soft breath of relief as it finishes loading. She brings up her paper before scooting the computer to Midge. 

“Thanks,” Midge murmurs. 

Summer nods. She sits stiffly as Midge reads the paper. She wrote it last night and she actually tried to make it good, reading over the notes that Midge wrote for her. The fact that Summer put effort in makes it being read by somebody else even more unnerving. If she tries and still fails, that’s a whole lot worse than failing without trying. 

Midge nods, a small smile on her face as she finishes reading it. 

“There’s a definite improvement here,” she says, sounding genuine.

Summer has the feeling that Midge is a genuine person, so she actually believes her, despite the weight of self-doubt pressing on her chest. 

She nods, managing to smile back. “Thanks.” 

Midge grins. “Of course. I think this is a C paper at least, so we’re on the right track here.” 

A wave of relief rushes through Summer’s chest. She actually managed to write a half decent paper. She can’t believe it. 

“Now why don’t we talk about the little things we can improve?” Midge asks, smiling encouragingly. 

Summer smiles back, feeling surprisingly optimistic. “Sounds good.” 

Midge beams. “Great.” 

The girl already has a notebook and pencil set on the table in front of her, and as she discusses critiques with Summer, she writes the main concepts down. Summer appreciates this. The notes Midge wrote last week clearly made a substantial difference after all. Summer listens raptly. This is an unusual occurrence for when it comes to academics. It’s sunk in now though that this is what she has to do to not get kicked off the soccer team. She’s nothing without sports, so it’s time to get her head out of her ass and not lose the one thing that she’s actually good at. She tries not to dwell on how sad it is that she’s only good at one thing. She hates self-pitying thoughts, but sometimes she just can’t escape them. Now is not the time, her mind hisses. You have to concentrate. She can feel herself losing focus though as an array of self-doubting thoughts begin to spin through her head. 

She flinches as the noise of loud coughing startles her out of her brooding. She quickly registers that it’s Midge’s sick roommate coughing and immediately feels silly for being so startled. 

Midge frowns. “Aww, poor girl. She’s got a nasty cold. I should go check on her. That cough doesn’t sound good. You don’t mind waiting a few minutes, do you?” 

Summer shakes her head. “Of course not.” 

Midge smiles softly and thanks her before walking off down the hall. Midge really seems like the mom type of friend. She’s so nurturing and concerned for others. 

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Midge coos, as she reaches her friend’s bedroom. 

Yeah, that does it. Midge's status as the mom friend is confirmed. The softness in her voice as she speaks to her roommate takes Summer aback a little. She doesn’t know if she’s ever met such a compassionate person. Nobody’s ever treated her like that when she’s sick, not even her own mom. Her mom would leave her to take care of herself when she got sick as a child, complaining about contagion. Summer can’t help but think that it would be nice to be nurtured like that. Just as soon as the thought pops into her head though, she shoots it down with a scoff. How pathetic. She’s strong. She’s always been able to take care of herself, and that’s the way it will always remain. 

She’s still reeling from the bizarrity of her thoughts when Midge returns a couple minutes later. 

“I’m just going to make Teresa some tea real quick,” the girl says. “Then we can get back to tutoring.” 

Summer gives her a thumbs up, feeling at a loss for words again. As Midge prepares tea, Summer tries to distract herself from her strange thoughts by reading over the notes Midge wrote. Most of the information makes sense, but there is some that leaves her furrowing her brow in confusion. 

When Midge finishes her tea mission and comes back over to the table, Summer is still trying to decipher the sections of the notes that aren’t making sense to her. 

“Is something confusing you?” Midge asks, voice soft, as she sits down next to her. “We can go over things that aren’t making sense.”

The all too familiar self-loathing is seeping into every inch of Summer’s body now. All she can think about is her mom scoffing at her inability to figure out math problems, ridiculing her for her spelling errors, rolling her eyes at her C grade on her essay. 

She’s pulled from her spiraling thoughts by Midge’s gentle voice. 

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed,” the girl murmurs. “It’s okay to be confused. I’m confused all the time.” She chuckles. 

Summer appreciates Midge trying to make her feel better, but she can’t shake the humiliation that’s come over her. It’s so ingrained in her, this idea that she’s terrible at academics, that she’s too stupid to improve at them. 

Summer can feel Midge staring at her. She knows she has to pull herself together, like she always does. So, despite the pain of the mental effort that it takes her, she turns to Midge with a small smile. 

“Thanks,” she says, her voice softer than she intended it to be. “Yeah, can we go over this section again?” 

She points to the part of the notes that she’s unsure about. 

Midge smiles encouragingly. “Sure thing.” 

Midge has such a casual way of explaining concepts. She’s not condescending in the slightest, like some other tutors Summer has had in the past. Listening to the girl speak, gazing at the reassuring smile on her face, the negative thoughts that overcame her gradually float to the back of her mind where they belong. Midge’s presence fills her with a comfort to a degree that she’s never felt. It’s incredibly strange but also incredibly nice. It’s a feeling that she could soak in and feel forever without ever growing tired of it. 

XXX
10:12 pm

Summer is still basking in the comforting sensation when she returns home. Nikki is filming a vlog as usual, advertising a sparkly red minidress. Summer walks to her room as quietly as possible and gently shuts the door. She flops onto her bed with a sigh and closes her eyes, letting the feeling continue to wash over her. 

She’s yanked out of her blissful state by a knock on the door. 

“What?!” she snaps. 

Nikki comes in. She immediately crosses her arms, a scowl forming on her face. 

“What’s with the attitude?!” she exclaims. “I haven’t seen you all day and that’s the greeting you give me?!” 

Summer winces, guilt quickly flooding her. She should be nicer, especially considering Nikki is having relationship struggles with Sasha right now. She looks down, unable to meet the girl's stern gaze.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “I was just thinking really hard and you startled me.” 

Nikki raises an eyebrow. Her frown softens considerably. 

“Oh?” she questions. “Thinking about what?” 

Summer rolls her eyes. “Nosy much?” 

Nikki scoffs. “Well, sue me for wanting to know why you exploded on me!” 

Summer supposes Nikki is right. She quickly comes up with an excuse. 

“I was just thinking about my schoolwork,” she lies. 

Nikki doesn’t look convinced, but thankfully she lets it go. 

She shrugs. “Alright. Want to watch a show before bed?”

Summer smiles, grateful that Nikki isn’t angry with her. “South Park I’m assuming?” 

Nikki scoffs. “Do you even have to ask?!” 

Summer laughs. 

As they walk towards the living room, Nikki adds, “But first, tell me about how tutoring went.” 

Summer smiles softly. “It went well. Very well.” 

XXX
Saturday October 15th
3:30 pm

As soon as Summer spots Midge across the Starbucks, the awkwardness she felt last night returns. As she walks towards the table, her stomach is filled with the same nervous fluttering. Midge is sipping a drink while scrolling through her phone. She looks up as Summer approaches and the same cheerful smile she’d worn last night when Summer arrived immediately brightens her face. 

“Hi!” she exclaims, as Summer sits down across from her. 

“Hey,” Summer replies, trying not to sound as awkward as she feels. 

“How are you doing?” Midge asks. 

“Good,” Summer answers, giving her what she hopes is a polite smile. “How about you?” 

Midge grins. “I’m great, thanks. How was your soccer game earlier?” 

The memory of her soccer game quickly changes Summer’s demeanor. Her awkwardness fades and a wide smile forms on her face. 

“It was great!” she exclaims. “We won!” 

After getting another good night of sleep, Summer was on her A game during the soccer match. Their team won 6 to 2 and four of the goals were scored by her. She beams with pride as she remembers the cheering crowd and the high fives from her teammates. 

She’s pulled back to the present as Midge speaks again. 

“Congratulations!” the girl exclaims.

Summer grins. “Thanks!” 

“Did you want to get a drink before starting?” Midge asks. 

Summer nods. “Yup. Be right back.” 

Midge nods as Summer gets up and makes her way over to the line. 

When she returns a few minutes later with her cold brew, she suddenly realizes that she never asked how Midge’s day went. She curses her stupidity. 

“H-How was your day?” she asks. 

She has to bite back a growl. She’s so damn done with stuttering. Midge doesn’t seem to notice or care though. 

“Oh, it was good,” she replies. “I mostly just did schoolwork and hung out with Teresa. She’s feeling a little better today, so we watched a couple movies.”

“Well, that’s good that she’s feeling better.” 

Luckily, Summer manages not to stutter this time. 

“Oh I made something for you!” Midge suddenly exclaims. 

Summer has no idea how to respond to that. What could’ve Midge made for her? She waits, feeling more awkward by the second as Midge rifles through her backpack. She brings out a binder and pushes it across the table to Summer. Summer looks down and as she takes in the drawing slid into the pocket on the front, a smile immediately lights up her face. 

All awkwardness forgotten, she exclaims, “Did you draw that?! It’s amazing!” 

Midge grins, cheeks turning pink. She waves her hand dismissively. 

“Oh it’s nothing much.”

Summer stares in awe at the castle, colored in gorgeous hues of blue and purple. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Summer may not be an artist or even know anything about art, but even she can tell that this is amazing work. 

She gives Midge a reproving frown. “What do you mean it’s nothing much?! This is incredible!” 

Midge giggles nervously. “Well, thank you. I put a lot of writing advice in there, so hopefully that will help you out.” 

Her cheeks are reddening more by the second. It’s honestly adorable. Summer doesn’t usually find much adorable, but she can’t help thinking how cute the girl is. From her freckles to her button nose to her snort laugh, pretty much everything about her is endearing. 

Summer grins. “Thanks for this. It’s very nice of you.”

Midge nods. “Of course. You know, I did consider being an art major, but I decided in the end that writing is my biggest passion, so I ended up going with English.” 

Not knowing how else to respond, Summer says, “Well, I’m sure your writing is great.” 

Midge blushes even brighter. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. She clears her throat. “What made you choose business?” 

Summer hesitates for a moment. She doesn’t want to sound like a loser, but she also doesn’t want to lie. 

“My mom chose my major actually,” she divulges, making sure her voice is quiet enough that only Midge can hear. 

Midge’s eyebrow raises, but she quickly lowers it. 

“Truthfully, I didn’t even want to go to college. I could’ve gone professional in pretty much any sport right out of high school, but my mom insisted.” She rolls her eyes. “Honestly I wish she would’ve chosen a more interesting major. My friend, Nikki, is majoring in marketing and even that seems more interesting than business.” 

Midge nods. “Yeah, I can see why you feel that way. Business doesn’t seem like the most interesting major.” 

Summer chuckles. “Tell me about it.” 

Midge frowns thoughtfully. “I mean, I suppose my major is definitely basic compared to my friends’ majors. My friend, Barbie, is majoring in performing arts and my friend, Ken, is majoring in computer science. So, those are some pretty flashy majors for sure.” 

Summer’s eyes narrow. The name Barbie rings a bell. Suddenly, it comes to her. 

“Wait…are you friends with Barbie Roberts? The star of every school play Barbie Roberts?” 

Midge grins. “Yup! We grew up together in Willows, Wisconsin actually.” 

Summer’s eyes widen. She certainly didn’t expect that. 

“You like theater?” Midge asks. 

Summer shrugs. “Not really, but some of the girls on my sports teams do and they invite me along to plays sometimes.” 

Midge nods. “I think theater is pretty cool, but I could never be on a stage in front of all those people.” 

“Honestly I’m used to being in front of a crowd because that’s how it is with sports, but I know I’d be a terrible actor.” 

Midge giggles. “Why?” 

Summer shrugs. “Honestly I don’t know. I just have a feeling that acting isn’t in my blood.” 

Midge snorts. Summer grins. She likes making the girl laugh.

“Where did you grow up?” Midge asks. 

Summer chuckles. “Like ten minutes away from here.” 

Midge smiles. “Oh so you’re a total Malibu girl then.”

Summer smirks. “Yup. I surf and everything.” 

Midge snorts, and Summer can’t help but think again about how cute that laugh is. 

After a few more minutes of talking about their lives, Midge sighs. “We should probably get some work done now.” 

Summer pouts. “Boringgg.” She sighs. “But yeah, you’re right.” 

XXX

After about two hours of tutoring, they decide they better get back home for dinner. 

“Wait!” Midge exclaims, as Summer begins packing up. “Before you go, can I sign your cast?” 

Summer grins. “Sure thing!” 

She sets her hand down on the middle of the table. 

“I have a lot of fans, as you can see,” she says, pointing to the cast. 

Midge snorts as she brings a Sharpie out of her pencil case. 

“Those are all from your teammates, aren’t they?” she says, a teasing lilt to her voice. 

Summer scoffs playfully. “And from Nikki too!”

“You do have fans though, I know,” says Midge, as she signs the cast. 

Summer shivers at the sensation of Midge’s skin brushing against her knuckles. She didn’t even know skin could be that soft. She tries not to dwell on how strange of a thought that is. 

When Midge is done signing, Summer looks down at her cast. Midge wrote her name in neat cursive with two hearts on either side. 

Summer chuckles. “Only two hearts? As you can see, Nikki did like eight.” 

Midge grins. “Oh you want hearts?! I can fill your whole cast with them!” 

Summer takes her hand off the table. “No thank you!” 

Midge snorts. Summer beams. Just a couple hours ago, she never thought she’d feel this comfortable around the girl. Now the ice has been broken, and Summer is taken aback by how glad she is that it broke.

Chapter Text

Friday October 21st
7:31 pm

“A hot chocolate and a chai for Summer!” 

Summer walks over to the counter. She thanks the barista before taking the drinks. She doesn’t usually get Starbucks this late, but she’s been craving a hot chocolate all day. Before leaving, she decides she better text Midge to make sure it’s okay if she goes over to the girl’s dorm a little early. She sets the drinks on a table before taking her phone out and sending a message.

[Summer 7:32 pm] Hey Midge is it ok if I come over a little early? Like in 10 min?

Midge starts texting back a second later. Summer watches the dots dance across the screen. 

[Midge 7:33 pm] Sure thing! See you soon! 😁

[Summer 7:33 pm] Awesome! See u! 😄

Summer shoves her phone back in her pocket before picking up the drinks and leaving the Starbucks. 

XXX

As usual, after Summer knocks on Midge’s dorm door, the girl only takes a moment to answer. When she opens it, her smile is as bright as ever. 

“Hey, Summer!” Midge exclaims. “Come on in!” 

Summer grins. “Hey, Midge!” 

As she walks in, Midge’s eyes widen. “You got me a Starbucks?! Oh you shouldn’t have! How much was it? I’ll pay you back!” 

Summer waves her hand dismissively. “No need. You’ve been tutoring me every single day. The least I can do is get you a Starbucks.” 

“Tutoring is my job though.” 

“Not off hours it isn’t!” 

Midge bites her lip, frowning doubtfully. 

“Just take the drink!” Summer exclaims, thrusting the cup into the girl’s hand. “Chai, right? I think that’s what you get.” 

“You know my order?” Midge asks, her voice soft. 

Her cheeks flush and she looks down, a shy smile on her face. 

Summer raises an eyebrow, confused by Midge’s sudden mood change. “Yeahhh. I mean, we’ve gotten Starbucks together like four times now and I can see the CH on your cup.” 

Midge looks up. The smile on her face is so wide, Summer finds herself smiling back inadvertently. 

“Well, thank you,” Midge murmurs. “I really appreciate it.” 

Summer winks. “No prob.” 

Midge grins. “You can come sit at the kitchen table if you’d like. Teresa and I are just cleaning up our macrame projects, and after that we can start on tutoring.” 

Summer nods. “Sounds good.” 

As they enter the kitchen, Teresa, who’s packing away what looks like yarn into a basket, waves to Summer. 

“Hey, Summer!” the girl greets, cheerful as ever. 

Teresa started feeling better a couple days ago, so she’s been able to be out of her room. Summer likes her. She may be a little air-headed, but she’s easy to get along with.

Summer smiles. “Hey, Teresa!” 

“Have you ever done macrame?” Midge asks, as she helps Teresa tidy up the table. 

Summer shakes her head. “Nope. I don’t even know what it is honestly.” 

“Well, I can teach it to you sometime!” Midge exclaims, turning to Summer with a grin. 

Summer smiles back, Midge’s enthusiasm as contagious as ever. “That sounds good.” 

Summer has never been one for crafts, but Midge has been so kind tutoring her every day. Taking interest in Midge’s passions seems like a good way to show her appreciation. She doesn’t even know how to begin to put her gratitude into words, so she’s going to demonstrate it through her actions. That's always been easier for her. 

XXX

After Midge and Teresa finish cleaning, Summer and Midge begin their session. As Summer brings her laptop out of her backpack, Midge begins to speak. 

“So you were saying you have a C in two of your classes now? That’s amazing, Summer!” 

Midge sounds so genuinely happy for her that it brings a smile of her own to her face. 

“Thanks!” Summer exclaims. “Two down, two to go!” 

Midge pumps her fist. “We can do this!” 

Summer grins. For the first time in her life, she actually feels like succeeding academically is possible. She doesn’t even know how to begin processing this fact, but for now she’ll just revel in the excitement. 

XXX
10:32 pm

When Summer returns home, her eyes immediately land on Nikki. The girl is lying on the couch, staring vacantly into the distance. This has been the norm for her the past week, but the sight never fails to make Summer’s chest ache. Nikki was there for her when she was struggling, but she doesn’t even know where to begin when it comes to Nikki’s situation with Sasha. She’s never even been in a relationship. Occasional one-night stands with random girls she never saw again and a few dates that never led to anything more is her only romantic experience. Still, as the girl’s friend, she has to try. She walks over to the couch and sets her backpack beside it before sitting down next to Nikki. She cracks her knuckles, stomach fluttering nervously. She wishes she was better at this kind of thing. She takes a deep breath before speaking. 

“Hey,” she says, trying to make her voice soft. “You okay?” 

Nikki clears her throat. “Yeah. Totally. Just tired.” 

She doesn’t sound even half convincing, but Summer isn’t going to press her. Nikki is just as closed off as her when it comes to discussing feelings, and knowing how stressful it is to open up, Summer certainly isn’t going to try to get her to. 

“Alright,” Summer murmurs. “Well, if you want to tell me anything, I’ll listen. Do you just want to watch some South Park?” 

That brings a small smile to Nikki’s face. “Sure.”

XXX

Half an hour later, the girls are lounging on the couch in their pajamas, watching South Park and eating Baskin Robbins ice cream. Nikki had suggested they Doordash some, and Summer didn’t have the heart to say no to her. Summer has been trying to maintain her 100% healthy diet, but she supposes she can slip up every now and then. Usually Summer goes to the gym after her sessions with Midge, but she decided to take the night off to spend time with Nikki. She knows the girl needs the comfort. 

“This is sooo good!” Summer exclaims. 

It’s been weeks since she had junk food, and she’d forgotten how amazing it is. 

Nikki glares. “Girl, don’t talk with your mouth full!”

Summer rolls her eyes as annoyance surges through her chest. “I can’t talk with my mouth full in the privacy of my own home?! God you sound like my mom with that damn etiquette talk!” 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “If you’re in front of me, you best not be doing it! That shit is nasty! Your mom’s not wrong to be giving you those etiquette talks!” 

Summer stiffens as a wave of anger courses through her. It’s so burning hot that she immediately opens her mouth to snap at Nikki, but she stops herself at the last second. It’s not like Nikki knows what a piece of work her mom is. Summer has never told her much about the woman. The girl is just playing around. Plus, snapping at her when she’s feeling this low would be something Summer would instantly regret. So, she takes a deep breath, forcing herself to stay calm. 

Nikki raises an eyebrow, clearly taking notice of her changed demeanor. “You good, girl? I don’t mean you’re rude in general or anything.” 

Summer shakes her head. “It’s fine, Nik.” 

Nikki doesn’t look convinced, but Summer gives her the most reassuring smile she can and the girl lets it go. 

“Well, you’re right,” Nikki says, changing the subject. “This is damn good. Of course you had to get sherbet though, which isn’t real ice cream.” 

“Oh you will pay for that!” Summer exclaims. 

She lifts her spoon, aiming it like she’s going to throw the sherbet at Nikki, but of course she won’t. She’d never have the bravery to throw ice cream at the girl. She giggles at the astonished expression on her friend’s face. She lowers her spoon, laughing. 

“You’re too easy!” 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “Well, it’s certainly in your best interest to not throw ice cream at me. I’d kick your ass before you even saw it coming!” 

Summer scoffs. “Yeah right! You’re not the one working out every night!” 

“Oh you best believe I don’t need to work out to be able to win a fight!” 

Summer raises an eyebrow. “Wanna compare muscles?” 

“Okay, I might actually end up being the one who throws ice cream! I don’t give a shit about those biceps of yours!” 

“Oh you will!” 

“Girl, wanna go right now?!” 

Summer bursts into laughter and Nikki quickly joins in. But no matter how much Summer laughs, the image of her mom’s reprimanding frown won't fade from her mind. 

XXX

“Ugh, this doesn’t make sense,” Summer groans. 

She puts her head in her hands, rubbing her aching temples. Most of the notes in the binder Midge gave her she can understand, but she can’t help fixating on the few portions that don’t, the sections that she’s had to ask Midge to go over again and again. She hates being confused. Not only does being confused make her feel stupid, but it makes her think of the person she tries so desperately not to think about. Tonight, as she reads through the notes again and again and is more unsure every time, the memories are more vivid than ever. Her memory isn’t the greatest, but she can remember word for word the insults her mom has hurled her way over the years. Idiot. Dull-witted. Only good for sports. Can’t solve a math problem to save her life. The list goes on and on, and she doesn’t only remember the words. She remembers the sting that accompanied each one, the burst of pain through her chest at every one of her mom’s stamps of disapproval. 

Finally, she can’t take it anymore. She knows she should keep studying Midge’s notes, but she needs to escape these relentless thoughts. It’s not even one in the morning yet, but the only way out is sleep. 

As she turns off her lamp and lies down though, she quickly realizes that there’s no way out because the memories are still there and they won’t let her rest. A memory, a one that she hates with every fiber of her being, blazes to life and she sees everything like she’s right back where she was when it happened. A twelve year old little girl sitting on an examination table, too humiliated and ashamed to do anything but look at the white sheet underneath her. Her mom is sitting in a chair across the room, face taut with rage, like it so often is.

“You’re a doctor!” she screeches. “You really can't tell me why she's so slow?! Seriously, run as many tests as you need to! Believe me when I say I have enough money!” 

Summer squeezes her eyes shut and plugs her ears, trying to drown out the images and noises, but to no avail. 

It's a long time before she grows too tired to focus on the memories anymore. Finally, she's able to fall into a state of semi-consciousness. The last thought she has before she drifts off is that she could really use some of Midge’s positivity right now. 

XXX

Summer’s dreams are filled with nothing but her mom’s cruel words and scathing scowls. She sleeps fitfully, waking up from one horrible dream, only to fall into another one moments later. 

XXX
Saturday October 22nd
7:42 am

When Summer enters the bathroom the next morning, she groans at the sight of her face in the mirror. The dark circles under her eyes have returned. She hates this. She hates that one mention of her mom is enough to reduce her to this state. She should be stronger than this. 

In the shower, she rests her head against the wall, her eyes fluttering. She desperately wishes that she could drift off into a dreamless sleep, but she knows that’s not possible. Her mom would once again haunt every moment of her dreams. Plus, she has a soccer game in just over two hours. She has to get her game face on, no matter how agonizing it is. 

XXX

During the soccer game, Summer just goes through the motions. She manages to score a couple goals, but her performance is nothing like usual. No matter how hot the shame boils in her chest though, she can’t garner the energy needed to pull off what she usually can. Her team still wins 5 to 4, but that’s not enough for her. It’s still a disappointment. She’s still a disappointment. 

After the game, she can’t bring herself to meet the eyes of Coach or her teammates. From the glimpses she can’t help but catch of them, they look nothing but pleased and the girls high five her, but she still can’t help thinking that they’re upset with her. She changes as quickly as she can in the locker room and leaves without saying goodbye. She’s relieved that Nikki won’t be back home until ten tonight. She wants to sulk in peace. 

After she gets back to her dorm and showers, she lies on the couch and scrolls through Instagram, hoping that she can lose herself in the pictures and reels. No matter how hard she tries though, she stays firmly rooted in the present. Firmly rooted in her failure. 

XXX
8:02 pm

When Midge arrives that evening for their tutoring session, knocking on the door, Summer feels no better. She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. It’s time to put on a mask, the one she wears so well. She walks over to the door, schools her expression into a friendly smile, and opens the door. 

The second she takes in Midge’s appearance, her eyes widen. The girl is soaked, water dripping from her clothes onto the hallway carpet. 

“I’m so sorry!” Midge pants. “It started raining when I was just about here and I didn’t have an umbrella! I didn’t know it was going to rain! It came on so suddenly! I feel so bad that I dripped in the building, but I didn’t know what else to do but come in and…” 

“It’s fine!” Summer exclaims, cutting off the girl’s panicked rambling. “Just come in. I’ll get you a towel and a change of clothes. Man, I had no idea it was raining.” 

I must've really been out of it, she thinks to herself. 

Midge pushes a strand of soaked hair away from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. “Thank you so much! I don’t want to drip in your dorm though.” 

“It’s fine,” Summer assures her. “Just stand in the entryway and I’ll bring you a towel. Come on in.” 

Midge hesitantly walks in. Summer closes the door. 

“I’ll be right back,” she says, before walking off to the bathroom. 

She grabs a towel from under the sink before bringing it to Midge. 

She hands the towel to her. “Here you go.” 

Midge thanks her before rubbing the towel over her hair and clothes.

Summer smiles. “No prob. I’ll get you a change of clothes now. They might be a bit big on you, but it should be fine.” 

Midge chuckles. “Yeah. You’re tall. How tall are you? Five eight? Five nine?”

Summer laughs. “Five eight. That’s not that tall though. You’re tiny.” 

Midge pouts. “Five four isn’t that tiny! You should see my mom. She’s five one.” 

Summer chuckles. “That is very tiny. Isn’t your friend Barbie like super tall? She looks tall in the plays I’ve seen her in.” 

Midge grins. “Yup. She’s five ten.” 

Summer’s eyes widen. “Now that’s tall. How much milk did that girl drink as a kid?!” 

Midge snorts. “Honestly, looking back at it, she did drink quite a bit. Everybody in her family is tall though.” 

“Yeah, I bet.” She shakes her head, suddenly remembering that Midge is soaking wet. “I’ll go get you some clothes now. Sorry, I forgot.” 

Midge giggles. “That’s fine. Thanks.” 

Summer grins. “Of course.” 

As Summer walks towards her room, she can’t help but marvel at the fact that Midge managed to lift her mood in an instant.  

XXX

Ten minutes later, Midge is changed into a pair of Summer’s sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt. She and Summer are lounging on the couch. 

Midge lets out a relaxed sigh. “Thanks so much for loaning me these clothes. They’re so comfy.”

Summer smiles. “No prob. I’m glad you’re feeling cozy.” 

A silence comes over them then. Just when it’s starting to get awkward, Midge speaks. 

“So you were saying in your text this afternoon that you're nearing a third C? That’s amazing, Summer!” 

Summer grins as her feelings of failure are quickly swept away. “Yup! I’m totally stoked!” 

Midge beams. “I’m sure your mom is so happy for you!” 

Summer’s elation immediately fades at the mention of her mom, her gloom from earlier rapidly returning. As usual, the woman has sapped every bit of joy from her. 

Midge’s eyes widen. “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you not want to talk about your mom? I’m so sorry.” She lowers her head, cheeks turning pink. 

Summer frowns. No matter how dreadful she feels, she has to reassure Midge. It’s not like the girl knows anywhere near the full extent of her issues with her mom. 

“It’s fine,” she says, trying to make her voice not sound completely miserable and only partially succeeding. “I mean, I haven’t talked to her in like a month, so who knows how she’s feeling? I’m sure she knows about my grades though. She’s always checking.” She laughs humorlessly. 

Midge does a double take. Summer’s brow furrows in confusion. Why does the girl look so taken aback? 

“What?” she asks. 

Midge clears her throat. “O-Oh I just…I’m just surprised your mom checks your grades. Is-Is that legal to do without your consent?” 

She suddenly looks worried, a deep frown forming on her face. Shock courses through every inch of Summer’s body. Why is the girl so concerned for her? She just met her. They only just became acquaintances. It takes her a moment to find her voice. 

“O-Oh I…I mean, probably not. It’s not like I can stop her though. She just asked for my school password and I gave it to her because…you know, she’s my mom. I have to listen.” She can’t help but let out another humorless laugh. 

Midge is frowning even harder now. It looks like she wants to say something, but is stopping herself. Summer wonders what that is, but she deems it best not to ask. She has the strange feeling that she wouldn’t like whatever it is. 

There’s another moment of heavy silence. Just when Summer feels like she’s about to crawl out of her skin, Midge breaks the quiet. 

“How about we watch a movie?” she suggests, her voice gentle. “You’re doing so well in school. We can totally take one night off from tutoring.” 

Summer didn’t see that coming. Midge is always extremely proactive during their tutoring sessions. The girl’s face is suddenly impassive though, and Summer isn’t good at reading people in the first place. So without another thought, she gives in. 

“Sure. What do you want to watch?” 

Midge smiles softly. “Anything you’d like.” 

Summer thinks for a moment before answering. “Uh…do you like Marvel?” 

Midge’s face quickly becomes unreadable again. “Oh…sure.” 

It’s clear that she’s lying, but when Summer offers to watch something else, Midge insists that Marvel sounds good. Summer is too exhausted to argue, so she gives in. 

After making microwave popcorn, they start the movie, Avengers: Infinity War. As it begins, Summer has a difficult time concentrating because all she can think about is one thing: how incredibly grateful she is for the girl beside her.

Chapter Text

Saturday October 22nd
11:48 pm

"Alice’s past may be a confusing and intricate web of mysteries, but so is Ingrid’s. A person’s life is never straightforward, and Ingrid is all too familiar with this fact."

As always, Midge reads the last bit of what she wrote aloud before shutting her laptop and climbing into bed. She turns her lamp off before snuggling under the covers and closing her eyes. Usually she falls asleep fairly quickly, but tonight she can do nothing but think about Summer. They may have just met, but the knowledge of how the girl’s mom treats her has formed an uncomfortable twinge in her gut that won’t fade. She can’t help but worry about Summer’s mental health. The dark circles under her eyes were there for weeks. They faded, only to return, and Midge desperately wants to know why. It’s none of her business, and Summer seems far from the kind of person who will easily open up. Still though, Midge knows what it’s like to suffer due to family, and to think of Summer going through the kind of pain she does makes her chest ache. She’s not sure why or how she’s come to care so much about the girl in such a short amount of time, but she has and now Summer’s pain is her pain too. Midge’s last thought before she drifts off is the image of the purple bags under Summer’s luminous brown eyes. 

XXX
Sunday October 23rd 
8:13 am

When Midge wakes up the next morning, Summer is still weighing heavily on her mind. When she walks into the kitchen though and sees Teresa flipping pancakes on the stove, the familiar, comforting sight of her friend manages to partially lighten the load.

Teresa turns and gives her her characteristic bright smile. “Good morning, Midge! How are you doing?” 

Midge smiles just as widely, the knot of anxiety in her gut loosening even further. “Good morning! I’m good. How are you?” 

“I’m fantastic!” Teresa exclaims. “I’m so excited for the pumpkin patch later!” 

Midge grins. “Me too! It’s going to be a blast!” 

She walks closer to Teresa, grinning when she sees the perfect appearance of the pancakes. 

“Great job on the pancakes! They’re looking amazing!” 

Teresa beams, cheeks turning slightly pink. “Aww thanks!” 

“Of course!”

XXX
11:02 am

“What do you guys want to do first?!” Barbie exclaims, as they walk through the pumpkin patch entrance. 

After Barbie and Raquelle picked Midge, Teresa, and Ken up, they’d driven straight to the pumpkin patch.

“How about the hayride?” Ken suggests, smiling brightly. 

“Great idea!” Teresa exclaims, still bouncing on her heels. 

After they buy their tickets (Barbie insisted on paying for all of them and none of them could beat her to the register), they’re heading towards the hayride line. Raquelle, who’s walking next to Barbie, groans. 

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” she grumbles. “All this hay is going to give me allergies. And who over the age of ten even goes to the pumpkin patch anyway?” 

Ken scoffs. “I will have you know that the pumpkin patch has fun activities for all ages!” 

Raquelle rolls her eyes. “Keep telling yourself that.” 

Ken opens his mouth, about to give another retort, when Barbie changes the subject. 

“So tutoring Summer is going well?” she asks Midge. “You sounded pretty content about it in your texts.” 

Midge nods. “Yeah, it’s been great. She’s been improving so much so fast. It’s amazing what a person can do when they set their mind to something.” 

Barbie grins. “Very true! Well, I’m glad she’s improved her attitude and that you two are getting along now.” 

Midge chuckles. “Me too, believe me. It was rough going for a bit, but she's actually really sweet once you get to know her.” 

Midge still hasn't told Barbie or any of her friends how she and Summer came to be friendly with each other. The events of the day where she got hit by the ball oddly feel like something she doesn't want to reveal. She's not sure why the moments between her and Summer afterwards feel so personal and special, but they do, and she's not going to risk losing the feelings the memory gives her by telling somebody else. 

She's so lost in thought that she doesn't even realize it's time for them to get onto the hayride until Barbie taps her on the shoulder. 

“You good?” Barbie asks, eyebrow raised. 

Midge clears her throat. “Yeah, of course.” 

Luckily, Barbie accepts her answer. The girl knows all too well how Midge gets caught up in daydreams. The daydreams are usually about fictional characters, not real people, but Summer is so prominent in her mind nowadays, the girl seems to have taken residence in every crevice of her imagination.

On the hayride, Ken tries to talk about his robot, Wanda, but the rest of the group can barely hear him over the grinding of the truck’s motor. Even Midge, who's sitting right next to him, can barely make out what he's saying. Finally, he gives up and they enjoy the rest of the hayride in silence, taking in the sight of the beautiful cornfields around them. 

XXX

After the hayride, the group buys caramel apples. They sit down at a picnic table. Barbie and Raquelle sit on one side, and Midge, Ken, and Teresa sit on the other. 

“Mmmm, this is sooo good!” Midge exclaims, after swallowing her first bite.

Barbie giggles. “You have always loved a good caramel apple. I've always been surprised though that you still like them after your run-in with the worm.” 

Midge bursts into laughter, like she always does at this memory. Barbie never fails to bring it up every time Midge eats a caramel apple. 

“Ooh I wanna hear this story!” Teresa exclaims, eyes widening with excitement. 

“You sure?” Ken asks, a disgusted grimace on his face. “It's pretty nasty.” 

Barbie scoffs playfully. “You're so squeamish, Ken! It's not that bad!” 

“Oh it was pretty bad,” Midge laughs. 

Raquelle plugs her ears, a deep scowl on her face. “Well, if it's anything gross, don't count on me listening!” 

Barbie bumps Raquelle's shoulder. “Midge is lying. It's not bad.” 

Midge rolls her eyes. “You weren't the one who went through it, Barbie! There was a worm right in the middle of my apple! And it was alive! And I was only six! I swear to God, that thing haunted my dreams for years!” 

Barbie laughs. “You're so dramatic, Midge.” 

Midge scowls. “Says the girl who will never eat a tomato again because she found a few specks of dirt on it one time!” 

Barbie rolls her eyes. “Okayyy, maybe you got me there.” 

Midge giggles. “I don't blame you though. Tomatoes are gross.” 

Ken scoffs. “They are not! Tomatoes are delicious and nutritious! I swear to God, you two won't eat anything!” 

“Hey!” Barbie exclaims, glaring. “Who was the one who ate raw octopus at the sushi restaurant?! It certainly wasn't you, Ken!” 

Ken sighs. “Okay, maybe you're not too picky of an eater, but Midge sure is! She thinks wheat bread is spicy!” 

Midge crosses her arms and pouts. “It isss!” 

Barbie and Ken laugh endearingly. Midge tries to maintain her pout, but as Ken bumps her shoulder, she can't stop her lips from twitching and a few seconds later she's laughing along with them. 

As their laughter peters out a moment later, Teresa's eyes widen, like she just remembered something. 

“Ooh!” she exclaims. “I forgot! Congratulations on the magazine cover!” 

Barbie's face immediately breaks out in a smile so blindingly bright, it immediately brings a smile of Midge's own to her face. Midge only smiles wider as she thinks about her friend's success and what this means for her career.

“Thanks, Teresa! I'm super excited!” 

Midge reaches across the table, giving her friend's hand a squeeze. Barbie squeezes back, smiling appreciatively. Midge grins as Raquelle loops her arms around Barbie’s neck, gazing up at her. Her eyes are filled with so much adoration, it warms every inch of Midge's body. She's so incredibly happy not only for Barbie's career success, but for the fact that she's found a person who loves her as fiercely as Raquelle does. Raquelle is rarely this affectionate in public, so that goes to show just how proud she is of Barbie. 

“Our girl is such a big shot!” Ken exclaims. “Don't forget us little people, Barbie!” 

Barbie rolls her eyes affectionately. “Oh stoppp. It's not that big of a deal!”

“It is!” Raquelle exclaims. 

The girl's eyes widen as everybody looks at her in surprise. 

“I-I mean…” she stutters. “You did good, Barbie.” 

She brings her arms back to her sides, cheeks suddenly dusted with pink. Midge giggles. Raquelle trying to play it cool is about as convincing as Barbie’s claim that the magazine cover opportunity isn't a big deal. 

Barbie is going to be a star, and as usual Midge is content to bask in the warmth of her friend’s accomplishments. 

XXX

After selecting their pumpkins (Ken selected a massive one that nearly breaks his back when carrying it as usual) and paying for them, they lug them to the car. As soon as they drive off, Barbie turns her pop playlist on (she’s always been a bit of a pop fanatic), and they dance in their seats the whole way back to the university. Midge has never been as big of a pop fan as Barbie, but the songs are undeniably catchy. 

When Barbie pulls into the university parking lot, she gets out of the car to say goodbye to her friends. Raquelle gives them a lazy wave as they get out.

Midge giggles. “Byeee, Raquelle.” 

Raquelle rolls her eyes. “Byeee.”

As Barbie and Midge give each other their customary tight squeeze, Barbie exclaims, “I can’t wait for the Halloween party! How about I pick you up at seven so we can go back to my place and get dressed up together?” 

Midge grins, excitement coursing through her. “Sounds great! And we’re still on for lunch at Linguini’s next Saturday?” 

Barbie beams. “Of course!” 

Midge smiles even wider. She can already taste the delicious buttered noodles. 

“See you guys soon!” Barbie exclaims, before getting back into the car. 

Midge and Ken wave again as she drives away. She waves back, smiling brightly. 

Ken turns to Midge and grins. “Smoothies at Fruit Fusion?” 

Midge grins back. “Do you even have to ask?!” 

XXX
Friday October 28th 
8:04 pm

“This is such amazing news, Summer! I’m so proud of you!” 

Midge is so thrilled that she can’t help but pound the kitchen table. Summer, who’s sitting next to her, lowers her head, cheeks suddenly pink. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. 

Midge scoffs. “Don’t thank me! Thank yourself! You put so much work into getting your grades up and look at how well you succeeded! C’s in all your classes!” 

Summer’s face turns even pinker. It’s so adorable that Midge has half a mind to keep praising her until the girl’s face burns bright red, but she figures she should stop.

“You know what?!” she exclaims. “I think you’ve earned yourself another movie! A Marvel movie!” 

Summer raises an eyebrow. “You sure you’re good with Marvel? You seemed pretty bored last time.” 

Midge scoffs. “No I wasn’t!” 

That’s a total lie and Summer clearly knows it, but the girl gives in. 

“Alright. Does Spiderman: No Way Home sound good?” 

Midge has never seen any Spiderman movie, so she really can’t give any input. She just smiles and nods. 

“Alright!” Summer exclaims. She’s clearly starting to get excited now. “Let’s do this!”

As they walk into the living room, Midge thinks about how glad she is that the dark circles under Summer’s eyes have faded again. 

XXX
11:14 pm

“Hey, Midge?” 

Midge’s eyes snap open as a finger lightly pokes her shoulder. 

“H-Huh?” she stutters. 

Her eyes widen as she looks around and realizes where she is. She’s slumped against the back cushion of Summer’s couch. The end credits of the movie are playing. 

“I’m so sorry!” she exclaims, quickly sitting up. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep!” 

Her cheeks flush as the full gravity of the situation sinks in. She just fell asleep. On Summer’s couch. She’d consider them friends at this point, but in no way are they close enough for a sleepover. 

Summer chuckles. “It’s fine. No need to apologize. You’re welcome to stay. Me and Nikki won’t mind. I figured you’d want to get home so you can sleep in your own bed though.” 

Midge rubs her eyes, unable to suppress a yawn. 

“Y-Yeah.” She can’t stop herself from stuttering again. “Totally.” 

“Hey, you want to take a few minutes to really wake up?” Summer asks, as Midge stands up. “You seem pretty out of it.” 

Midge’s chest warms at the sincere concern in Summer’s voice. Summer caring about her makes her so overwhelmingly happy that she feels like she’s going to burst. The sheer amounts of embarrassment and joy she’s feeling are making it harder and harder to maintain her nonchalant demeanor. She needs to get out of here. 

She laughs nervously. “Thanks for the consideration, but I’m totally fine. I’ll text you when I get home, as usual.” 

Summer’s brow is still furrowed with concern, but she lets it go. “Alright. Just put your pepper spray in your pocket, okay?” 

Midge smiles. “Will do.” 

Usually Midge doesn’t like people worrying over her, but Summer being protective of her? For some reason, she doesn’t mind it. She might even like it.

XXX
Monday October 31st 
7:31 pm

“You look adorbs!” Barbie exclaims. 

Midge smiles bashfully, her cheeks turning pink. 

“Are you sure it’s not too risque?” she asks, her voice soft. 

“I don’t think so,” Barbie replies, “but I want you to be comfortable, so if you think it’s too risque, you can totes wear something else.” 

“It is pretty,” Midge murmurs. 

The girls turn towards the kitchen at an especially loud exclamation. Raquelle is arguing on the phone with Ryan. He’s upset that she’s not coming to his concert tonight. Quite frankly, Midge thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Raquelle shouldn’t have to come to every one of his concerts. 

She studies the teal flapper dress in the mirror. She does a twirl, admiring how the dress swirls around her. 

Barbie grins. “It seems like you like it.” 

Midge smiles. “I think I do.” 

XXX
9:04 pm

Midge, Barbie, and Raquelle meet Ken at the entrance of the frat house. It takes them a minute to find him amidst the throngs of students, many of whom are already drunk. This is Midge's first big college party and her stomach is fluttering with nerves, but she knows that with her friends by her side, she'll be safe. 

“Looking good, ladies!” Ken exclaims.

“Thanks!” Midge and Barbie exclaim in unison. 

As soon as Barbie suggested wearing matching costumes, Midge had squealed with excitement. They used to wear matching outfits all the time as kids, and to be doing it again reminds her of those innocent, blissful days. Raquelle is wearing a rather risque (in Midge's opinion) cat costume, complete with ears and tail. She'd scoffed at Barbie's offer to match with them. 

“You're looking pretty good yourself, Mr. Carson,” Barbie says playfully. “That pirate outfit is rather dashing.”

He grins. “Thanks, Barbie! Hey, where's Teresa?"

"She went home to trick or treat with her sisters," Midge explains. 

He nods. "Gotcha."

As the group walks into the house, Midge’s nose is assaulted by an overpowering alcohol scent. She nearly gags, but is able to ward off the urge by taking a deep breath. As always, Barbie notices her discomfort. The girl's hot pink flapper dress twirls as she turns to her. 

“You okay?” she asks, brow furrowing as she places her hand on Midge's shoulder. 

Midge nods. “Yup. It's just the smell.”

Barbie frowns sympathetically. 

“We can stay outside,” she offers. 

As tempted as Midge is to agree, all the festivities are inside and she doesn't want to ruin her friends’ fun. So she shakes her head and gives Barbie her most convincing smile.

“I'll be fine,” she says. 

Luckily, her words come out smoothly.

“Alright,” Barbie murmurs, “but let me know if you change your mind, okay?”

Midge smiles and nods. “Sure thing.” 

Raquelle rolls her eyes. “Come on already! Let's dance!” 

She grabs Barbie's hand and begins dragging her towards the dance floor. Barbie reaches behind her to link her other hand with Midge's. Midge lets herself be pulled along, and Ken follows closely behind. 

The dance floor is so full of people, Midge can feel the body heat coming off of them. There's barely even a few inches of space between her and the people next to her. There’s a large stereo in the middle of the floor, blasting rap music so loudly that she can feel the bass pounding against her skull. Her claustrophobia immediately acts up, but even though she feels like she's going to crawl out of her skin, she follows along with her friends as they start dancing. 

Too overwhelmed by the noise and the staggering amount of people, she quickly retreats into her head, thoughts turning to upcoming scenes of her novel. The world of Ingrid and Alice is always a place of refuge for her.

She's so lost in her musings that she doesn't register Barbie is speaking to her until the girl taps her shoulder. 

“H-Huh?” she stutters, as she's pulled from her daydream. 

“You good?” Barbie asks, expression filled with concern again. 

Midge nods. 

“Totally!” she exclaims. 

If she sounds a little overenthusiastic, Barbie doesn't mention it. She just smiles and links arms with Midge. 

“Come on, we're going to get drinks. I'm guessing they'll have fruit punch too.” 

Midge has never drank, other than having a sip of beer at her eighteenth birthday party, which she promptly spit out, but as she approaches the drinks table, she suddenly has the urge to try something new. 

“What's that?” asks Midge, pointing to a bowl of pink liquid with strawberries floating on the top. 

“I think that's strawberry margarita,” Barbie replies. “I think I'll have some.” 

Raquelle has already gotten herself a cup of the strawberry margarita and is chugging it down. Barbie grabs herself a cup of it and takes a few sips. 

She nods. “That's good.”

As Midge grabs one of the plastic cups and heads towards the bowl, Barbie and Ken's eyes widen. 

“You're going to have alcohol?!” Ken exclaims. 

Midge smirks as she grabs the ladle and uses it to pour margarita into her cup. “Why so surprised, Kenny boy?” 

He crosses his arms. “Because you never have alcohol.” 

She smirks again before tipping her head back and taking a large swig. It immediately burns her throat and she’s just barely able to suppress a cough. After taking a deep breath though, she has another sip. It’s not as bad this time. Before she knows it, she’s downed the entire cup and her friends are staring at her, wide-eyed. 

“Did you like it?!” Raquelle exclaims. 

Midge shrugs. “Not really, but it’s a party. I should at least have something.” 

Raquelle raises her cup. “Well, cheers to that!” 

Midge pours herself another drink. As she starts sipping it, she looks around, taking in the sight of all the drunk partygoers. Some are dancing wildly, others are making out far too passionately, and others are throwing back even more drinks. Her eyes widen as her gaze lands on somebody she didn’t expect to be here. Truthfully, she’s not sure why she’s surprised. Summer is certainly the partygoer type. She can’t stop staring in open-mouthed shock though. Summer and Nikki are dancing in the middle of the crowd. Both girls are holding a cup of what Midge assumes is some kind of alcohol. 

As if Summer can sense Midge staring, she suddenly stops dancing and looks her way. Her eyes widen almost comically as she notices Midge. Midge takes another sip of alcohol, and when she lowers the cup, Summer is still looking at her. Midge suddenly feels awkward under the girl’s gaze. She turns back to her friends. They’re talking to each other, but she’s not sure what they’re saying. Suddenly, everything is feeling fuzzy. She feels a little light-headed and her vision is a bit blurry. 

“I need some air,” she mutters. 

She’s not sure if her friends heard her, but she takes off anyway, heading out the front door. She feels slightly uncoordinated as she walks, but she manages to not stumble as she makes her way outside. The cold breeze against her face instantly releases the stress she’d felt from being in the crowd. There are decidedly less people outside, and they’re mostly just kissing couples. 

She’s not sure how long she stands there, taking intermittent sips of her margarita, when a hand gently taps her shoulder. She yelps, whipping her head around as a wave of shock bursts through her. She instantly relaxes when she realizes it’s just Summer. 

Summer chuckles nervously. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to check on you. You left pretty fast there.” 

Midge takes in the girl’s appearance. She’s wearing a sports jersey and athletic shorts. Her hair is pulled back with a headband as usual. What’s far different from normal is the red flames painted on her cheeks. 

“What are you supposed to be?” Midge asks, already forgetting what Summer said. 

Summer looks surprised for a second, but her confused expression is quickly replaced by a smirk. She gestures to her outfit. 

“I’m a soccer player, aren’t I?” she says, a playful lilt to her voice. “You know this, Midge.” 

Midge snorts before bursting into laughter. Truthfully, what Summer said isn’t even that funny, but she can’t seem to stop laughing. As her laughter fades out, she turns back to Summer. 

The girl chuckles. “How much did you have to drink?” 

“Two cups of strawberry margarita,” Midge replies. 

She takes another sip. 

Summer smirks. “Only two cups? Damn girl, you’re one hell of a lightweight.” 

Midge giggles. “Am I? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had alcohol before.” 

Summer’s eyes widen. “You’ve never had alcohol?! Seriously?!” 

“Well, I only just turned twenty one.” 

Summer laughs. “Oh I’ve been drinking since I was sixteen. Not excessively or anything, but I went to enough ragers as a teenager to really get on my mom’s nerves.” 

Midge’s eyes narrow with confusion. “Didn’t you say you listen to your mom?” 

Summer chuckles. “I’ve learned my lesson now, but I didn’t used to. I was a super rebellious kid.” 

Midge smirks. “I can see that.” 

Summer sticks her tongue out at her. 

Midge giggles. “Well, are you drunk?” 

Summer shrugs. “I’m a little tipsy, but I wouldn’t say drunk. I’m going to try to not get too hammered because I get the feeling Nikki is going to be doing just that and one of us has to know what we’re doing.” 

Midge nods. “That’s smart.” 

Summer chuckles. “Thanks.” 

There’s a moment of silence then, and just when it’s starting to get really awkward, Summer speaks. 

“Hey, so even though we’re not tutoring every day now and we haven’t seen each other in a few days, I don’t want you to think I’m going to ditch you or anything. I’d still like to hang out.” 

Midge grins. Her cheeks suddenly burn and her stomach flutters. It must be the alcohol. 

“I’d like that too,” she murmurs.

Summer clears her throat. “So I was thinking. Would you want to come to my soccer game this Saturday? My team always goes out to eat afterwards and you’re welcome to come to that too. Lots of my teammates bring their friends. I think we’re doing frozen yogurt this week.” 

Midge beams. “That sounds like so much fun! I’ll definitely come!” 

“Midge!” 

Midge turns around as she hears her name being called. Suddenly, Barbie is in front of her. Her eyes are wide with panic. 

“Why didn’t you tell us you were going outside?! We were worried!” 

Midge’s cheeks burn with shame. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I just needed some air.” 

Barbie’s expression softens. She gives Midge’s hand a squeeze. 

“That’s alright, Midge.” 

Suddenly noticing Summer’s presence, Barbie’s eyes widen. 

“O-Oh…is this…”

“Yes, this is Summer,” Midge clarifies. “Summer, meet Barbie.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” says Barbie, giving Summer a bright smile. 

Summer grins back. “Nice to meet you too.” 

Barbie’s eyes widen again. “Oh, I should get back and let the others know I found you. You coming?” 

Midge looks back at Summer. She wants to stay and talk more with her, but if the apologetic expression on Summer’s face is anything to go by, the girl has other plans. 

“I should get back to Nikki,” she says, “but it was nice seeing you, Midge, and I’m glad I got to meet you, Barbie. Midge talks about you a lot.” 

Barbie grins. “She does? Aww, that’s so sweet!” 

Summer chuckles. 

“See you guys later!” she exclaims, before heading back inside. 

Midge watches her go. She doesn’t realize she’s zoned out until Barbie takes her hand. 

“Come on, Midge,” says Barbie. “Let’s go find the others.” 

Midge lets herself be led inside, but all she can think about as Barbie searches for Ken and Raquelle is how much she’d rather still be outside talking to Summer.

Chapter Text

Friday November 5th

Midge wishes she could concentrate on what her professor is saying. Poetry is by far her favorite class. She can’t ignore the feeling of Keaton’s eyes on her though. He’s been staring at her the whole class, and no matter how hard she tries to ignore him, it’s futile. 

When class ends, she jumps out of her seat and quickly slings her backpack over her shoulders. No matter how fast she walks though, he catches up to her, cornering her right outside the classroom. 

“Hey Midge,” he says sharply, “what’s with the lack of texts? I thought I told you to text me with ideas twice a week.” 

It takes all her restraint not to give him a piece of her mind right then and there. The sheer amount of entitlement this boy has is off the charts. She tries to school her face into a nonchalant expression, but she can’t stop the frown that forms. 

“I’ve been busy,” she says, voice tight. “I tutor, you know.” 

He rolls his eyes. “But you promised me, Midge!” 

She narrows her eyes. “I don’t believe I did.” 

He lets out a nasty scoff. She glares as anger courses through her, growing hotter by the second. He’s never been quite this aggressive before, and her patience is wearing thin. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get to lunch,” she bites out. 

With a huff, she turns on her heel and walks away. This time, she doesn’t look back. 

XXX
7:06 pm

“I just can’t believe him!” Midge exclaims, pounding her fist on the kitchen table. “He’s the worst! The absolute worst!” 

Teresa nods, frowning sympathetically. Midge ranted to her about Keaton all lunch, but she still can’t stop. 

“Tutoring was awful. I was so angry that I could barely concentrate. I totally let my students down.” 

She groans, putting her head in her hands. Teresa, who’s sitting next to her, places her hand on her shoulder. 

“Nobody’s perfect, Midge,” she murmurs. “You’re not always going to tutor perfectly, and that’s okay. I don’t always make dresses perfectly.” She shrugs. “It happens.” 

Midge gives her a small smile. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks.” 

Teresa smiles. “Of course!” 

Midge sighs deeply. As much as she appreciates her friend’s encouragement, it’s doing nothing to relieve the ache in her chest. She considers whether she should say what she wants to next. She’s already taken up so much of Teresa’s emotional energy today, and she feels terrible making the girl cater to her feelings so much. The words are creeping up her throat before she can stop them though. 

“And my mom canceled our video chat again.” She sighs heavily. “And quite honestly, I don’t know whether to be sad or relieved. She’s always so darn sad during our chats and I just don’t know how much more I can take of seeing her like that. It’s been going on for eight years and I’m honestly at the end of my rope.”

She swallows the lump in her throat. The last thing she wants to do right now is cry. She’s put Teresa through enough today. Not to mention getting so emotional over something that has been her reality for nearly a decade is beyond stupid. So, ignoring the stinging in her eyes, she continues. 

“I guess I’m a little bit of both?” She lets out a shaky laugh. “Sad that she doesn’t want to talk to me, but relieved that I don’t have to see that deadness in her eyes.”

She bites her tongue, stubbornly holding back the onslaught of tears that threaten to spill forth. There’s a moment of silence before Teresa reaches over and grabs her hand. She gives it a tight squeeze. Midge looks at her and seeing the sheer amount of sympathy in the girl’s expression is nearly enough to make her burst into tears on the spot. 

“I’m so sorry, Midge,” Teresa murmurs. “I wish there was more I could do to help. You don’t deserve this.” 

Midge swallows harshly as another lump builds in her throat. She blinks back tears and takes a deep, shaky breath, pulling herself together like she has to do so often. When she deems herself collected enough to speak, she clears her throat and replies.

“You do more than enough to help,” she murmurs. “Thank you so much for always listening and supporting me.” 

Teresa, who’s still holding her hand, squeezes again. 

“Of course,” she coos. “You’re one of my best friends ever. I’ll always be here for you.” 

Midge smiles gently. “And I’ll always be here for you.” 

Teresa grins. 

Midge laughs softly. “Let’s change the subject now. That’s enough depressing stuff for the day.” 

Teresa nods. “Sounds good. Hmm…oh! Are you excited for the soccer game tomorrow?!” 

Midge thinks. Is she? She’s excited to see Summer play, but sports games aren’t really her thing. She’s been to a few with Barbie’s family, but she never particularly liked them. They’re loud and chaotic and people get far too rowdy for her liking. 

“I mean, seeing Summer play should be cool, but a soccer game isn’t really my scene,” she admits. 

“Well, I think you’ll have fun!” Teresa exclaims. “Sorry I can’t come with you. I can’t say no to Sophia about dress shopping. Gosh, I can’t believe she’s going to her first school dance! She’s really growing up!” 

Midge grins. She adores Teresa’s three little sisters. Sophia is thirteen. Then there's eleven year old Isabella and eight year old Elena.

“She is,” Midge agrees, smiling brightly. “I hope you guys have fun shopping!” 

Teresa beams. “Thanks!” 

The girls continue talking casually. Midge tries to ignore the ache within her all the while, but no matter how much she smiles and laughs, it won’t fade. When eight o’ clock rolls around, she can’t help but think about how much she misses her and Summer’s daily tutoring sessions. For some reason, only tutoring on Tuesdays and Thursdays doesn’t feel like anywhere near enough.

XXX
Saturday November 6th
9:41 am

As Midge walks towards the soccer field amongst the throngs of people, she tries to ignore the pounding of her heart. She can’t believe she’s going to something like this alone. With all her friends busy, she has no choice. 

Her heart only thumps harder as she climbs the stairs of the bleachers. The bleachers are packed to the brim with people. It takes her a couple minutes to find a free seat near the back. She has no choice but to sit next to a group of boys who are waving flags and already roaring at the tops of their lungs despite the fact that the game hasn’t started yet. She quickly retreats into her head, thoughts of Ingrid and Alice serving to at least partially block out the noise of the screaming crowd. 

She’s jolted back to the present as the yelling suddenly increases in intensity. Cheerleaders are running out onto the field, waving at the crowd. She watches the routine in amazement. She’s always found cheerleading stunts extremely impressive. She can’t imagine being lifted and thrown like that. 

As the cheerleading routine comes to an end, the cheering of the crowd is so loud that she has to cover her ears. It only grows in volume as the soccer team runs out. She presses in on her ears harder. Despite her overstimulation though, she immediately finds Summer in the group of players. She’s waving excitedly to the crowd, along with her teammates, and the grin on her face is so bright that Midge can see it clearly all the way from the back of the bleachers.

“The Malibu Sharks!” the announcer roars, and the crowd only screams louder. 

Midge cheers, though nowhere near as loudly as the majority of the crowd. The opposing team runs out then. 

“The L.A. Whales!” the announcer exclaims, sounding somewhat less enthusiastic. 

Some of the crowd cheers, but there are many boos. Midge rolls her eyes and scoffs. People are so rude. She cheers again.

As the game begins, Midge commits to focusing, despite how much the noise makes her want to withdraw into daydreams again. She keeps her eyes on Summer, marveling at how fast she is. She’s much faster than any of the other players. She’s also by far the most agile, seamlessly swerving past her competitors. Within the first fifteen minutes of the game, she already scores two goals. Midge is surprised by the velocity of the excitement that courses through her when Summer scores. She raises her arms, cheering as loudly as she can. Her eyes widen as it occurs to her just how giddy she is. Well, of course I am, she reasons. I’m happy for Summer. 

At halftime, she brings out her phone and texts Summer. She’s not sure whether the girl will have her phone out, but it’s worth a shot. Summer’s team is leading by 4 to 1, and Summer has made three of the four goals. 

[Midge 10:49 am] You’re doing so great, Summer! 😄

She stares at her phone, eagerly awaiting a response. A minute later, dots start dancing across the screen. She grins. 

[Summer 10:50 am] Thanks! 😁 So we’re going to frozenscape frozen yogurt after the game. Its just off campus. Wanna meet us there

Midge’s stomach flutters nervously at the thought of having to interact with all of Summer’s teammates, but the thought of spending time with Summer sends a wave of excitement rushing through her. Without another thought, she texts back. 

[Midge 10:51 am] Sounds great! See you then! Good luck on the rest of the game! 😄

[Summer 10:51 am] Thank u! 😁

XXX

Summer clearly didn’t need the luck. She’s on the money. She scores three more goals and the game ends with Summer’s team leading by 8 to 2. As the whistle signaling the end of the game blows and the crowd bursts into a cacophony of screams and cheers, Midge jumps up, whooping and clapping her hands until they burn. She’s once again shocked by how thrilled she is. She’s never been even remotely this excited about sports before. Apparently Summer being in the game makes all the difference. 

XXX
12:14 pm

Her stomach tingles and her heart pounds as she walks hesitantly into the shop. She went here once with Barbie and Ken last year, but she still had to map the directions. She’s never been good with GPS, so it took her a while to find her way. Summer’s team is already there, but they clearly just arrived, as they’re waiting in line for frozen yogurt. They’re loudly talking, gesturing enthusiastically as they speak. Like Summer told her, there are several friends tagging along, waiting in line with the girls. 

Midge stands awkwardly by the entrance, not sure what to do. Should she get in line? That makes the most sense, but she can’t seem to get her feet to move. Fortunately, it only takes Summer a moment to notice her presence. As soon as her eyes land on Midge, she grins. She’s almost to the front of the line, but she quickly abandons her spot in favor of hurrying over to Midge. Midge smiles brightly, her chest warming. 

“Hey!” Summer exclaims, as she reaches Midge. “I’m so glad you’re here!” 

Midge takes in her appearance. The girl’s face is glistening with sweat, and her hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail. What stands out to Midge the most though are her arms and legs. She’s never seen Summer in anything but long pants and long-sleeved shirts. She can’t stop her eyes from widening as she takes in the sheer amount of muscle on the girl’s calves and biceps. She wouldn’t be surprised if she had a six pack too. 

She shakes her head, quickly clearing the strange thoughts from her head, as she notices Summer giving her a quizzical look. 

“O-Oh,” she stutters, “I-I’m glad to be here!” 

She curses herself. Why is she such a stuttering mess? She hopes her cheeks don’t look as hot as they feel. Summer looks confused for another second, but her questioning expression fades then and a bright smile takes its place. Midge lets out a sigh of relief as her face begins to cool. 

“Do you want to get some frozen yogurt?” Summer asks. “They have a ton of flavors!” 

Midge grins. “Sure thing!” 

“Cool!” Summer exclaims. 

Midge quickly follows as Summer heads back towards the line. Midge feels guilty that Summer has to be at the back of the line again, but luckily the girl doesn’t seem to mind. 

“I know I told you in the text, but you did so good!” Midge enthuses. 

She still can’t get the images of Summer scoring all those goals out of her mind. She’s amazing.

Summer grins. “Thanks! This was my best game of the season for sure!” 

As the line moves up, Summer continues talking excitedly about the game. Midge hangs onto every word, despite not understanding most of the terminology. Seeing Summer so thrilled makes her thrilled. 

When they get to the front of the line, they both grab cups. Midge pours herself a moderate serving of vanilla yogurt. Summer fills her cup to the brim with a combination of vanilla and chocolate. When they go over to the collection of toppings, Midge adds some rainbow sprinkles to her yogurt. She never adds anything other than that. Her eyes widen at the sheer amount of toppings Summer adds. Not only does she put in at least a dozen, but she combines fruity and chocolate candy. Midge could never consume that cup of frozen yogurt. Not in a million years. Still, she endeavors to not look shocked as Summer turns back to her. 

“Come on,” Summer says, grinning. “We can sit at that table over there. The team table looks pretty packed.” 

Midge lets out a sigh of relief. Summer’s team seems nice, but put all together they’re rather rowdy and she needs to decompress after the chaos of the soccer game. 

They sit down across from each other. Immediately, Summer shoves a massive spoonful of yogurt into her mouth. After swallowing, she looks at Midge with a smile. 

“I’m famished!” she exclaims. “Soccer burns so many calories, it’s not even funny.” 

“I bet,” Midge replies after swallowing her small bite of yogurt. “How long have you been playing soccer?” 

“Off and on since I was three. I’ve taken breaks to play other sports, but over the years it’s mostly been soccer and basketball that I played.” 

Midge’s eyes widen in shock. “You’ve played since you were three?! I didn’t even know kids that little could kick a ball!” 

Summer laughs. “Well, there wasn’t much kicking going on. I can tell you that much. I didn’t start getting any good at it until I was six.” 

“That’s still really young. I could barely put one foot in front of the other at that age. Come to think of it, I still hardly can.” 

Summer chuckles. “Oh, you’re fine at putting one foot in front of the other. Have you ever done any sports?” 

Midge shakes her head. “Nope. My parents were never one for extracurricular activities.”

“Well, mine were the opposite. They had me do every sport imaginable. My mom cared so much about my athletic skills, it was insane.” She rolls her eyes.

As usual, when Summer brings her mom up, Midge resists the urge to ask for more details about the woman. She gets the feeling that would not be appreciated. She usually notices a dampening of Summer’s mood when the girl mentions her mom, but it doesn’t seem to affect her this time. Maybe it’s the high of her soccer game victory. 

“So, what did you do as a kid?” Summer asks. “I know you like macrame. Are there other artsy things you like?” 

“Yeah. I like drawing and painting too. I was an only child, so I’d get pretty bored when my friends couldn't hang out. I picked up a lot of hobbies that way. I made a lot of scrapbooks and collages too. Do you have any siblings?” 

“One brother,” Summer replies. “He’s two years older. He’s a real pain.” 

Midge giggles. “So, what is he up to? Did he go here?” 

“Yup. He graduated this past summer.” She rolls her eyes. “I did everything I could to avoid running into him on campus. He’d always bother me about my grades. He thinks he’s some hotshot academic or something.” She scoffs. 

Midge frowns sympathetically. “I’m sorry. That must be annoying. Honestly, I always wanted a sibling. I suppose it could be tough though.” 

Summer shrugs. “I mean, he’s my brother. I love him. I just don’t love the whininess and massive ego. I won’t lie, my ego isn’t small, but his is huge.” 

Midge winces. “That’s got to be annoying to deal with.” 

Summer chuckles, her expression softening. “It’s fine though. I think pretty much everyone gets annoyed by their siblings.” 

Midge giggles. “True.” 

Honestly, Barbie rarely gets annoyed with her sisters, but Midge isn't going to mention that. Summer takes another big bite of her yogurt. Midge does the same, albeit her bite is much smaller. 

Summer swallows before asking, “Do you like your yogurt?” 

Midge nods. “It’s great! Thanks so much for inviting me!” 

Summer grins. “Of course! I like hanging out with you.” 

Midge’s cheeks are suddenly warm again. She grins just as brightly. 

“I like hanging out with you too,” she murmurs. 

Summer chuckles. “I noticed you’re dressed pretty sporty today.” 

Midge is wearing jeans as she usually does in the winter, but she borrowed a Malibu Sharks shirt from Teresa. 

She grins. “Yep! I had to look the part, didn’t I?” 

Summer beams. “You look good.” 

“Thanks,” she murmurs, her cheeks burning hotter. 

XXX
Sunday November 7th
2:41 pm

Midge is sitting with her friends in a booth at Fruit Fusion, rolling her eyes as Ken playfully teases her. 

“So our Midge is a sports fanatic now?!” he exclaims. “I never thought I’d see the day!” 

Midge rolls her eyes. “Shut up or I’m throwing this smoothie at you!” 

Barbie and Teresa laugh. Ken is only able to maintain his affronted expression for a moment before a grin bursts through. Barbie, who’s sitting next to her, turns to her. 

“So you had fun?” she asks, smiling brightly. 

Midge beams. “I did. I really did.”

XXX
10:34 pm

When Midge reads the last sentence of what she read aloud that night, she can’t stop the lump that forms in her throat. 

"Ingrid doesn’t know how it’s possible to feel such overwhelming joy and such piercing sadness at the same time."

Chapter Text

Wednesday November 17th
7:06 pm

“I can’t say it enough. I’m proud of you, kiddo.” 

As usual, Summer revels in Coach Pierce’s praise, a goofy grin forming on her face.

“Thanks!” she exclaims. 

Coach smiles warmly at her. “Getting all C’s is a huge accomplishment, Summer. Do something fun for me, why don’t you? You’ve earned it.” 

Summer chuckles. “I’ll make sure to party extra hard this Thanksgiving break.” 

He winks. “There you go.” 

He laughs, and Summer quickly joins in, trying to ignore how her stomach sinks at the mention of Thanksgiving break. As their laughter fades a moment later, he claps her on the shoulder.

“Alright, kiddo. See you later.” 

She does her best to smile. “See you later.” 

As she begins her walk to the locker room, she can’t stop the anxious frown that replaces her bright grin. 

XXX
Thursday November 18th
4:09 pm

“This paper is looking good, Summer!” Midge exclaims. “I have a few pointers, but overall it’s fairly clean.” 

Summer beams. Feeling proud of herself for two days in a row is something she could get used to. 

“Thanks!” she exclaims. 

Her exclamation comes out louder than she intended it to. Her cheeks instantly flush. She quickly looks around the writing center to make sure nobody’s looking at her. 

Midge giggles. “Be as excited as you want, Summer. You’ve earned it.” 

Summer’s cheeks burn hotter under Midge’s praise. She’s used to being complimented on her athletic prowess, but being praised for schoolwork is a new and rather strange feeling. 

She chuckles. “Alright, I’m excited. How could I not be? Coach is off my back and I don’t have to constantly worry about being kicked off the team.” 

Midge grins. “I’m happy for you, Summer.” 

Summer smiles back. “Thanks.” 

They sit in comfortable silence for a moment before Midge speaks again. 

“Are you excited for Thanksgiving break?” the girl asks, eyes shining with excitement. 

Summer can’t stop the grimace that forms on her face. Keep a straight face, you loser, her mind hisses. She clenches her jaw and tries to bring her smile back, but somehow it’s like Midge’s presence is drawing her feelings out of her. That can’t happen. Midge frowns sympathetically. 

“Are you nervous about your mom?” she murmurs. 

Before Summer can stop herself, her mouth opens and her worries come rushing to the surface. 

“It’s just…” She sighs. “I never texted her back. She hasn’t texted me for like three weeks now, but of course she’s going to be mad. I’ve considered not going home and just tagging along with Nikki, but I get the feeling that that would make my mom madder. I think…I think I just need to face her wrath.” 

She winces, her stomach churning at the thought of having to deal with another one of her mom’s tantrums. 

“I’m so sorry,” Midge murmurs. “That’s so hard.” 

The sympathy in Midge’s eyes is so deep and genuine that Summer almost tells her more. She stops herself at the last second. What is she doing?! She’s about to spill her guts to this girl she just met?! Hell, she’s hardly even told Nikki a thing about her past and they’ve been friends for two years. What is it about Midge that makes her feel so reckless, so open, so vulnerable?

“It’s alright,” Midge soothes. “If you’d like, we can end the session now. I get it if you’re not in the right headspace for tutoring right now.” 

As she realizes that Midge is comforting her of all things, Summer’s face burns far hotter than before. Her cheeks are blazing with heat. It’s inevitable that Midge will see the redness, and that only makes her blush harder. God, she’s really making a fool of herself. She’s pathetic. Still, she has to save face, no matter how much she wants to hide under her covers and never come out. 

She clears her throat. “I-I’m fine. Totally fine. I’ve dealt with my mom yelling at me before. It’s nothing new.” She chuckles nervously. 

The frown on Midge’s face deepens. 

“You shouldn’t have to deal with that though,” she says, voice brimming with indignation. 

Summer gulps, trying to ignore how flattered she feels that Midge is so angry on her behalf. 

“I-It’s fine.” She clenches her jaw harder. Of course she had to stutter again. “That’s life, you know?” She shrugs. 

Midge sighs deeply, a defeated expression replacing her righteous anger. 

“I know,” she murmurs. 

They sit in awkward silence for a moment. Summer’s mind races. What should she say? She has to salvage this situation. It’s gotten far too revealing for her liking. She also gets the feeling that Midge is sad now, and knowing that she’s the cause of this, guilt replaces her family concerns. The least she can do is take the girl’s mind off of things.  

“Hey, why don’t you tell me what needs fixing in my paper?” she says, trying to make her voice cheerful. She only partially succeeds. 

Midge gives her a small smile. It’s clear that it’s forced. Summer figures that’s better than no smile at all though…right? 

“Sure thing,” says Midge, clearly trying to sound happy as well. “First off, let’s talk about a couple grammar things.” 

Summer listens intently, hoping that discussions of grammar will clear her head of her mom’s shrill voice screaming insults at her. No matter how hard she tries though, Midge's sweet, encouraging voice isn't the only one she hears. 

XXX
7:32 pm

The second Summer steps into her dorm, her eyes widen with shock. Nikki and Sasha are standing in the center of the living room, screaming at each other. Summer’s too startled to even distinguish what they’re saying. As she takes in Nikki’s appearance though, she realizes this may be the angriest she’s ever seen her, which is saying a lot. Nikki and Summer argued like there was no tomorrow when they first became roommates. 

She figures she better leave and give them privacy, but then Sasha yells two devastating words and Summer knows she has to stay. 

“We’re over!” 

Summer can do nothing but stare as Sasha marches past her and slams the door behind her. Normally, Summer would give anybody who messes with Nikki a piece of her mind, but she’s too shocked. She knew Nikki and Sasha were having relationship struggles, but she didn’t think they were anywhere near breaking up. 

Her attention snaps to Nikki as the girl lets out a choked sob, filled with so much pain and defeat that Summer’s chest immediately aches. Before she can do anything, Nikki is rushing away. She winces as the girl’s bedroom door slams shut. For a couple minutes, she stands there in stunned silence. She has no idea how to proceed. She’s never seen Nikki cry before, and Nikki has never seen her cry. Despite how close they are, they aren’t the emotional types. Clearly the ending of Nikki’s relationship with Sasha has cut deep. Summer takes a deep breath, gathering her courage. She has to do something. No matter how awkward she is when it comes to comforting people, Nikki is her best friend. It’s her job to take care of the girl. 

Her legs feel heavy as she walks slowly down the hall. As she approaches Nikki’s door, she can hear guttural sobs coming from inside the room. Sympathy tugs at her chest even harder. She squeezes her eyes shut. She has to do this. She gently knocks on the door. 

“Nikki,” she says, making sure her voice is soft, “can you let me in?” 

“Go away!” Nikki yells, voice trembling. “I mean it, Summer! Leave!” 

Logically, Summer knows she should oblige, but her stubbornness is quickly coming to the surface and when that happens, there’s no going back. Nikki has always been there for her no matter how much bullshit she’s pulled. Now it’s her turn to be there for Nikki. 

“I’m not leaving,” she insists. “I’m going to sit outside the door and talk to you until you come out.” 

Nikki growls but doesn’t say anything else, her sobs quickly overcoming her again. 

Summer sits down, back against the door. She scrambles to think of what she should say. Her heart is still racing. Finally, several moments later, she decides to go with the most basic consoling words. 

“I’m so sorry, Nikki. That sucks so bad.” 

As anger towards Sasha suddenly wells in her chest, she adds, “Want me to beat her up?” 

She immediately winces. That probably wasn’t the best thing to say. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “I’m not exactly good at this comforting thing. I-I care about you a lot though and want to be there for you, like you’ve always been there for my stupid ass.” 

Summer’s eyes widen as the sound of footsteps come towards the door. Oh no. Is Nikki going to shove her all the way out the front door and lock her out of their dorm? She quickly stands up as the lock clicks. When the door opens and Nikki steps out, Summer puts her hands up. 

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone!” she exclaims. “Sorry! I-I just…” 

She yelps in surprise as Nikki surges forward and embraces her tightly. Summer’s eyes widen even further. Nikki is…hugging her? And…crying against her shoulder? She feels like she’s stepped into some alternate dimension. She shakes her head, forcing herself back to the present moment. As bizarre as this situation is, she needs to be there for her friend. She wraps her arms around the girl tight. 

“Damn,” she murmurs. “She really did a number on you, huh? What a bitch.” 

She winces as Nikki sobs harder. That was clearly the wrong thing to say. 

“Sorry,” she says, her voice soft. “I-It’s going to be okay. You’ll be fine. I’m here.” 

That sounds better. She thinks so at least. She sighs softly. There’s really nothing else she can say. So she just holds her friend close. 

XXX

An hour later, the girls are sprawled on the couch, watching South Park and eating ice cream. They ordered Baskin Robbins again. Nikki’s mostly calmed, the only remnants of her breakdown being an occasional hiccup or sniffle. 

Summer turns to the girl and smiles. “Best comfort food ever, right?” 

Nikki just nods, continuing to stare at the TV. Summer frowns. Clearly cheering her up isn’t going to work. She needs to try a different route. 

“Hey,” she says softly, placing her hand on Nikki’s knee. “You’re amazing, okay? Any girl would be lucky to have you.” 

She feels the urge to add “a bitch like that doesn’t deserve you,” but she knows that showing her anger towards Sasha isn’t going to help the situation. Nikki gives her a small smile. 

“Thanks, Summer,” she replies, her voice hoarse. “You’re a good friend.” 

Summer beams. She’s surprised by just how ecstatic that compliment makes her feel. She’s never been the warm and fuzzy type, but her friendship with Nikki? It means the world to her. 

XXX
Saturday November 20th
11:21 am

“You sure you’ll be okay over break?” Summer asks. 

She’s standing by the front door with her duffel bag. Nikki, who’s sitting on the couch, nods. 

“I’m sure. You know my sisters won’t let me feel sorry for myself the whole time.” 

Summer grins. “True.” 

Nikki smiles and waves her fingers at her. “Get out of here, you. You’ve got a Lyft to catch.” 

Summer giggles. She’s not feeling the least bit happy, but she needs to put on an act for her friend. Nikki’s already gloomy enough right now. 

“Okayyy. Text me anytime.” 

“You too, girl.” 

XXX

The Lyft drive is just over ten minutes and Summer wishes with every fiber of her being that it was much, much longer. Her heart is pounding, pulse crashing against her eardrums. Her entire body is trembling. She’s having trouble catching her breath. She can’t believe she’s so weak that she’s having a panic attack in a Lyft of all places. She can’t make it obvious though. So she leans her head back and does her best to breathe deeply. What did that therapist she went to years back tell her? Five things you can see, four things you can touch…what’s the rest? She squeezes her eyes shut. No therapeutic practice can help her now. 

XXX

Her panic has only worsened by the time she walks up the driveway of her mansion. Her mom’s mansion, that is. She hardly considers this place her home. Her hand trembles violently on the knob as she opens the door. She knew it would be unlocked for her and Blaine’s arrival. The second she’s inside, her eyes dart around wildly. Is her mom home? She’s usually not. More often than not, she’s off with her gal pals getting unnecessarily large amounts of pedicures, manicures, and massages. Legs trembling too hard to stay standing, she collapses onto the extravagantly fancy couch. Her stomach drops even lower as she suddenly detects voices. It’s her mom and Blaine, and they’re coming closer. Her jaw clenches so tightly that a sharp ache radiates across her face. She’s so stiff, she can feel each individual muscle in her body locked in place. 

The second her mom walks into the foyer and her eyes land on Summer, a scathing sneer forms on her face. Summer resists the urge to bolt. She’s not sure whether her legs would hold her weight anyway. Her eyes flit between her mom and Blaine. Blaine is looking at their mom, clearly wondering what her reaction to Summer’s presence will be. His sandy blonde hair is slicked back with an ungodly amount of gel as usual. Her mom's honey blonde hair, identical to Summer's, is assembled in a tight bun as usual. The glare on her face is quickly building and within seconds it’s so intense that every instinct within Summer tells her to run. When the woman finally speaks, it’s even worse than she expected. Her voice is quiet at first, but an inexplicable rage is boiling under the surface. 

“You mean to not answer my texts and calls for weeks and then come into my house like you own the place?” 

Summer gulps. Her throat is so dry, she doesn’t think she could answer even if she wanted to. Her mom’s pitch quickly increases in volume. 

“You ungrateful brat!” she shrieks. “Look around you! Look at what I’ve provided you with! And you throw all your dignity down the drain by getting godawful grades and neglecting your own mother!” 

Anger is beginning to simmer in Summer’s chest. This woman hasn’t provided a damn thing for her! She can’t let it out though. She doesn’t know how she gets her next words out, but she does. They’re quiet and hoarse but distinguishable. 

“Th-They’ve improved.” 

Her mom scoffs. “Yes! C’s are so great, Summer! Bravo! Bravo!” She claps sarcastically. 

Summer’s anger begins to increase in intensity. She glances at Blaine. His face is impassive. He makes her just as furious as her mom does. After all Summer does for him, he can’t even stand up for her when their mom is viciously attacking her like this? He’s always been a pathetic suck-up and clearly that’s never going to change. 

“Out!” her mom screeches. “Out!” She points towards the front door with a trembling finger. 

“Gladly,” Summer hisses. 

She picks up her duffel bag and on violently shaking legs, she makes her way out of the house. 

She walks several blocks before calling a Lyft. The whole time, she has to resist the urge to let out the enraged screams building in her chest. Tears are burning her eyes, but she stubbornly holds them back. She can’t let her family reduce her to that state. She’s stronger than that.  

On the Lyft app, she types in the location of the closest Holiday Inn. It’s only five minutes away, but it’s not like she needs to worry about her mom looking for her. Clearly the woman doesn’t even want to look at her. She takes deep, shaky breaths, trying to cool her burning face and even out her breathing. It’s no use though. 

Luckily, the Lyft driver doesn’t comment on her blazing red cheeks and heavy, irregular breaths. The embarrassment at being in this condition around another person only makes her face burn hotter though. 

She probably doesn’t look any better as she checks into the hotel. After the woman at the front desk hands her the room card, she quickly thanks her before rushing off. As she enters her room, she doesn’t even take in its appearance. All she does is throw her athletic wear on before hurrying to the gym. She spends the rest of the afternoon running on the treadmill. She wants to lift weights too, but even though her hand is healed it’s far too weak to do heavy lifting. She hates being weak in any way, but the last thing she wants to do is break it all over again. 

Trying to outrun the thoughts swirling rapidly through her brain doesn’t do any good. She’s still as furious as before even after running for four hours. 

Around five, she finally leaves the gym. Her legs are so limp from all the exertion that she struggles to walk. 

When she returns to her room, which she briefly notes is quite nice, she takes a bath rather than a shower, thinking it will calm her heart rate at least a little. Her efforts are in vain though.

Demolishing macaroni and cheese, her favorite food, from room service and watching South Park does nothing to soothe her either. This is getting ridiculous. She squeezes her eyes shut. 

“Calm down, Summer,” she hisses. “Calm the fuck down.” 

No matter how much she insults herself though, her heaving breaths and racing heartbeat won’t fade. She watches every show that plays on Comedy Central, but she can barely pay attention. All she can think about are her mom’s screams, Blaine’s silence, the fact that she’s not even welcome in her own home. 

Finally, at two in the morning, she decides she better try to sleep. She knows that’s highly unlikely to happen, but she may as well try. She has nothing better to do. 

As she lies down and snuggles into the warmth of the blanket, she has the sudden urge to call someone. Suddenly, she feels vulnerable, like she needs somebody. Nikki or Midge. God, she wants to talk to Midge. That’s ridiculous though. She doesn’t need anybody. But all of a sudden her eyes are stinging and a sob is building in her chest. Before she knows it, it bursts out. She clamps her hand over her mouth. 

“Shut up,” she hisses. “Shut up.” 

The image she dreads most, the one that’s usually suppressed but floats to the surface around every holiday, comes into her mind then, piercing her heart with such a sharp intensity that it snuffs out any breath she’d still had. Her dad lying motionless on the living room floor, glazed eyes unblinking, not waking up no matter how loud she screams. She can’t cry. It’s been so long. Almost ten years. This is ridiculous. Still, despite how hard she bites down on her tongue and reprimands herself, the tears keep coming. Finally, she gives up and cries herself to sleep like the pathetic, weak girl that she is.

Chapter Text

Thursday November 25th 
11:37 am

As soon as Summer surfaces, her ears are once again assaulted by the shrieks of children playing in the shallow end of the pool. She groans before ducking underwater again. She wishes she could swim laps, but with all the kids in the pool, it would be difficult to say the least. Maybe like usual she’ll come back this evening and get her laps in then. There’s always less people in the pool at that time and she’d be surprised if anybody was even here tonight, considering it’s Thanksgiving. Most, if not all of these people, are going to have family dinners to attend. She’s prepared to spend her whole day doing anything to avoid thinking of the fact that she can’t say the same for herself. She needs to do everything she can to avoid sinking back into that dark place she found herself in the first night she stayed at this hotel. Instead, she focuses on the warm water around her, the murky image of the pool floor below her, the steadily increasing burning of her lungs as she refuses to come up for the air her body so desperately craves. 

She only comes to the surface when she’s verging on the point of fainting. She takes deep, gulping breaths of air, blinking rapidly until her surroundings become less blurry. 

A boy laughs. “You good?” 

She whips her head around. She resists the urge to groan as she realizes what’s about to happen. A boy, brown hair slicked back with gel, is gazing at her, an obnoxious grin on his face. He’s sitting in the hot tub, which is adjacent to the pool. 

“Yup,” she replies, unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice. 

She’s about done being flirted with. There have been about five boys in this pool room who have tried hooking up with her since she started swimming here five days ago. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing swimming alone?” he says, a seductive lilt to his voice. 

He winks. She rolls her eyes, frustration surging through her chest. 

“That’s my cue to leave,” she grumbles, before climbing out of the pool. 

She hurries over to the towel rack, wrapping one around her waist as quickly as possible. She just knows that boy is going to be ogling her ass. 

“You could at least say thank you!” he calls. 

She growls, her annoyance quickly heightening to anger. 

“I don’t have anything to say to you!” she yells back. 

Normally she would add a “fuck off” to that, but no matter how foul-mouthed she is, she would never talk that way around children. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see some of the adult pool goers, mostly parents, shooting her concerned glances. Her cheeks flush with embarrassment. The last thing she wants to do is make more of a scene, so she quickly turns on her heel and rushes out of the room. 

She fumes the whole way back to her hotel room, fists clenched and a deep scowl on her face. That was by far the most audacious boy who’s flirted with her since being here. She mutters choice words under her breath as she stomps down the hall. As soon as she enters her room, she lets out an enraged growl. 

“Who the fuck does he think he is?!” she exclaims. “Ugh!” 

She takes a few deep breaths, but they do little to calm her. She growls again as she picks her phone up from the nightstand. She’s not sure why she still expects a call or text from Blaine, but every time she checks her phone she’s hopeful. As usual, she has no texts or calls. She tries to ignore the sinking of her stomach. What’s the point of getting upset? She doesn’t need her family. They’re conceited and cold and couldn't give a crap about her. Is it sad that Nikki is the only person in this world who loves her? Sure. But she can’t let that fact consume her. She’s got to be strong. 

After showering, she decides she better get some lunch. As usual, she buys food from room service. She always revels in the high expense of the food. It’s a more indirect way of giving her mom the middle finger. All her money comes from the woman after all. Honestly she’s surprised her mom hasn’t cut her off at this point. She’s sure it’s got nothing to do with kindness or God forbid love though. The woman is probably just too busy with her mani pedis to go to the trouble. It can’t be an easy process and her mom is notoriously lazy.

She ends up ordering a Caesar wrap. Despite how miserable she feels, she’s been committed to only eating healthy food. She sits in bed and eats it, watching Comedy Central. Bob’s Burgers is on right now. She doesn’t like it as much as South Park, but it’s still funny. She spends the rest of the afternoon watching whatever show comes on the channel. Nikki and Midge send her happy Thanksgiving texts, but even that only makes her smile briefly.

When evening comes around, she has a light dinner of garden salad before getting her athletic clothes on. Instead of swimming again, she’s decided to spend the rest of the day working out. That should be the best way to avoid any negative thoughts. 

XXX

It doesn’t work. No matter how fast she runs on the treadmill in the empty gym, she can’t get rid of the vivid image of her mom and Blaine having Thanksgiving dinner without her. As rocky as her relationship is with them, she’s never spent a holiday away from home before. They’re probably laughing at her right now, talking about what a useless loser she is. Bad grades. Only good for sports. It’s all true. She squeezes her eyes shut.

“Fuck!” she exclaims, her voice hoarse, before turning the speed of the treadmill up even higher. 

XXX
3:09 am

She starts as her phone buzzes. She’d just put it down beside her as she felt her eyes finally growing heavy. Her eyes widen. Could it be…

No. It’s not Blaine. She lets out a long, shaky breath as her heart pounds against her ribcage. She takes a minute to even out her breathing and blink those pathetic tears out of her eyes before clicking on the notification. It’s Georgia, one of her high school friends. She rolls her eyes. Of course the group is going to want to hang out. They always do over breaks. Summer is usually fine spending some time with her old friends. She’s never had a deep connection with any of them like she does with Nikki, but they’re fun to hang around. They made high school somewhat bearable at least. Right now though being around people sounds awful. So does being alone, but at least she’s grown accustomed to it over the last five days. She’s not sure if she’s going to be able to keep a cheerful facade up around others, no matter how experienced she is at it. Still, if she says no, the girls are going to get suspicious and question her. That’s the last thing she needs right now. With a heavy sigh, she reads the text.

[Georgia 3:09 am] Wanna hang out at the beach tomorrow at 2? I was thinking we could surf. 😃

Despite the reluctance tugging at her chest, she texts back. 

[Summer 3:11 am] Sounds good! See u then! 😀

Summer can’t help but think about how rude it is to text somebody at this time of the night. Georgia has never been the most considerate person. Summer doesn’t exactly consider herself the most well-mannered person ever, but she wouldn’t contact someone this late unless it was an emergency. She rolls her eyes as dots start dancing across the screen. She’s done talking to Georgia already. Truthfully, the girl has always been her least favorite in their group of four. 

[Georgia 3:12 am] Awesome! See ya!

As Summer closes her eyes again, she tries to focus on her frustration rather than the deep sadness sitting heavily on her chest. Irritation is a far preferable feeling. As usual though, her efforts are in vain. 

XXX
Friday November 26th
2:04 pm

The rest of the group is already assembled when she walks up to their usual beach meet-up spot. They’re each holding a surfboard.

“Summer!” they all exclaim, before setting their surfboards down and darting forward to hug her. 

She puts her own surfboard down before giving them each a quick embrace. Then, schooling her face into the happiest expression she can muster, she greets them back. They then talk briefly about how school has been going. 

“Isn’t it sad that only me and Isabella go to the same school?” Georgia says with a pout. She blows a strand of dirty blonde hair away from her forehead.

“Yesss!” all the other girls whine. 

Summer doesn’t particularly care, but regardless she joins in on the lamentations. 

“Ugh we need to hang out more!” Isabella, a tall brunette, exclaims. 

They always say this, but never commit to it.

“Yesss!” Lizzy, a short blonde, exclaims.

Summer tries to ignore how her cheeks burn when Lizzy speaks. She avoids glancing the girl’s way, knowing how red her cheeks will become if she catches her gaze. She started developing feelings for Lizzy in senior year. Luckily, her experience with keeping secrets has helped her keep it to herself. Often though her body threatens to betray her.

“Ugh I know!” Summer adds, trying to sound believable. 

They stand in silence for a moment, and just when it’s starting to get awkward Georgia speaks up.

“Well, in any case, let’s go surf!” 

They all pick their surfboards up and take off towards the water. They’ve never cared about the weather when it comes to surfing and swimming. It never gets particularly cold in Malibu anyway. The chill still momentarily stuns Summer when she wades in though. 

XXX

“Go, Summer!” the girls cheer, clapping their hands as Summer surfs yet another huge wave. 

After jumping into the water and surfacing, the girls applaud again. 

“You did amazing!” Lizzy exclaims. 

Summer yet again has to ignore the way her cheeks heat up and desperately hopes that there’s not a visible blush. 

“Thank y…” She’s cut off by a large wave crashing over her head. 

She comes up a few seconds later coughing and sputtering. As the girls giggle at her, her cheeks burn hotter. That doesn’t exactly make her seem like a pro surfer. Lizzy has a tendency to distract her like that. Her eyes widen as Lizzy approaches her. She freezes in shock as the girl’s hand comes towards her face. 

Lizzy chuckles. “You got some seaweed there.” 

She places her hand on Summer’s cheek, plucking the seaweed off with so much softness, the touch nearly brings Summer to her knees. That would be even more embarrassing than being knocked over by a wave. As the girl’s hand leaves her face, Summer lets out a heavy breath she hadn’t even been aware she was holding. Her heart is pounding so hard, she can hear it thumping against her skull. Her cheeks have got to be noticeably red now. As Isabella and Georgia look at them questioningly, she wishes she’d never agreed to come along. 

XXX

After surfing, the girls sit at a cabana and talk. Well, Georgia and Isabella do most of the talking. Lizzy started sending shy glances Summer’s way as soon as they sat down. Summer desperately tried to not meet the girl’s eyes, but to no avail. As soon as their gazes lock, neither girl can look away. Suddenly, Summer is too entranced to even notice if Georgia and Isabella are looking at them confusedly again. All she cares about is the soft blue of Lizzy’s eyes, her blonde curls shining golden in the sunlight, her plush pink lips. Summer can tell by Lizzy’s glazed eyes and inability to look away that the girl is admiring her just as much. 

XXX

That’s how Summer and Lizzy find themselves in Summer’s hotel room hours later, locked in a heated makeout session as they stumble towards the bed. As they collapse onto the mattress, Lizzy pulls back from the kiss, only to change positions and straddle Summer. Summer’s eyes widen, a wave of shock shooting through her. This is going to go faster than she thought apparently. She can’t say she’s not pleased.

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” Lizzy breathes out. 

Summer’s eyes widen even further. Her heart pounds faster. 

“Really?!” she exclaims. 

Lizzy giggles before leaning down and drawing Summer into a kiss, much gentler this time. 

“Really,” she murmurs, as she pulls back. “Now take my clothes off.” 

Summer immediately obeys, reaching up to pull Lizzy’s shirt off and unhook her bra before throwing them across the room. Immediately, she squeezes the girl’s breasts, fingering her nipples. Lizzy lets out a keening whine. Summer grins. She can’t believe she’s already gotten the girl this worked up. 

“Fuck, Summer,” Lizzy pants. “I’m already so wet.” 

“Do you want me to make you wetter?” Summer breathes, before sitting up and latching her mouth onto the girl’s neck. 

Lizzie moans loudly as Summer begins kneading her teeth over the skin. 

“Fuck yes!” Lizzy exclaims. 

Pleasure courses through every inch of Summer’s body at the girl’s breathless moans as she continues to suck the delicate skin of her neck. A moment later, she pulls back from her neck, her lips making a popping sound. 

“That can be arranged,” she whispers in Lizzy’s ear. 

She flips Lizzy onto her back. After pulling the girl’s pants down and chucking them across the room, she begins to slip two fingers into her slit. Suddenly, she stiffens as a memory enters her mind. Her mom ripping her and the girl she’s kissing apart. A flood of images come in quick succession then. The girl running out of the room. Summer grits her teeth, sinking her fingers further into Lizzy, fingering her folds. Lizzy moans. Her mom’s hand smacking her cheek, immediately leaving a stinging mark. She clenches her jaw, thrusting her fingers deeper. Lizzy moans louder. 

As Summer pushes her fingers further and further in and Lizzy’s cries increase in volume, the memory finally begins to fade. Able to focus again, Summer begins to add even more force to her thrusts. When Lizzy’s walls clench around her hand and she screams her name, Summer has never felt more satisfied.

XXX

Later, after receiving the best sex Summer has had in her entire life, they lie in silence, bodies glistening with sweat. Lizzy sighs before nuzzling her head against Summer’s shoulder. 

“You’re amazing,” she murmurs. 

Summer shudders at the sensation of the girl’s hot breath against her neck. 

“You’re amazing too,” Summer whispers, still slightly out of breath. “That’s by far the best I’ve ever been fucked.” 

Lizzy giggles. “Ditto.” 

A few minutes of quiet pass then. Finally, Lizzy speaks again. 

“What are we now?” Lizzy whispers. 

Summer gulps, her throat suddenly parched. After several moments of tense silence, she knows she has to say something, no matter how unhelpful. 

“I don’t know,” she murmurs. 

Lizzy just hums. They fall asleep, still wrapped in each other’s arms, a few minutes later. 

XXX
Saturday November 27th
9:17 am

When Summer wakes up the next morning, Lizzy is gone. She tries to pretend it doesn’t hurt, but she can’t stop the tears from stinging her eyes. 

Her racing thoughts that are growing more depressing by the second are cut off as her phone rings. Without even checking who it is, she picks it up from the nightstand and answers. Her stomach sinks with disappointment as Nikki exclaims, “Hey, girl!” Of course it’s not Lizzy. How could she actually be stupid enough to think Lizzy would call her after literally abandoning her? 

“Um…hello?” Nikki says, voice filled with confusion. “You good, girl?” 

Summer flinches as Nikki speaks again. She squeezes her eyes shut. She needs to stop thinking. She clears her throat. 

“I’m good.” She winces at how hoarse her voice is. She clears her throat again. “How are you?” 

God, she sounds like a mess. She clenches her jaw, knowing what Nikki is going to say next. 

“You sure you’re good? You sick or something?” 

Summer shakes her head before rolling her eyes at her own stupidity. Nikki obviously can’t see her.

“Nope, not sick,” she replies, trying to sound at least remotely okay. “I just slept for a long time, so my voice is croaky.” 

She’s not going to say that it’s because she yelled herself hoarse last night. There’s a moment of silence before Nikki sighs. 

“Okay, if you say so. So, what time will you be home tomorrow? I’m having my mom drop me off at five.” 

Summer thinks for a moment before deciding she’ll just come at the same time. 

“I’ll be there around then.” 

“Wanna get dinner?” Nikki asks. 

Summer doesn’t feel like doing anything, but she agrees anyway. 

“You sure you okay?” Nikki questions yet again. 

Summer rolls her eyes, annoyance burning her chest. 

“I’m fine,” she says, endeavoring to keep her voice nonchalant. “I promise.” 

She hates lying. Keeping secrets is one thing, lying is another. But right now it’s necessary. It might be necessary for a long time.

Chapter Text

Saturday November 20th 
11:06 am

“I can’t do this!” Midge exclaims, as they enter the plane. 

She squeezes her eyes shut. Her heart is pounding. Her breaths are coming in short gasps. Barbie’s arm is tight around her shoulders as she leads Midge towards a row of three seats. 

“You say that every time we fly,” Barbie murmurs, “and every time you get through it. Just take deep breaths and focus on me. You’re going to be fine.” 

Midge never flew on a plane once before moving to California, and when she finally had to, she hated it from the start. The first time, before the plane took off, she nearly ran off after paging through the safety protocols pamphlet. It took both Barbie and Ken to restrain her. Midge has always been a safety fanatic, and a plane ride is not the best activity for a person with so many phobias to say the least. 

“I call window seat!” Ken exclaims, rushing ahead of them. 

“Ken!” Barbie reprimands. She gestures to Midge. “Can’t you see your friend is having a panic attack?” 

Ken winces, a sheepish expression replacing his smile. 

“Sorry, Midge,” he murmurs. “Hey, it’ll be okay.” 

Midge shakes her head as Barbie helps her sit down in the middle seat. “No it won’t! I was researching plane crashes and…”

“Midge!” Barbie exclaims. “I told you not to do that!” 

“I had to!” Midge’s voice is nearly hysterical. 

Barbie takes a deep, calming breath before addressing Midge again. 

“What did your therapist say, Midge? Change the tape. Take the plane crash tape out and replace it with…um…how about a macrame at the beach tape?! We’re all at the beach and you’re sitting in the sand doing macrame! Sounds nice, doesn’t it?” 

Midge closes her eyes, trying to visualize the happy scene, but the plane crash tape refuses to budge. 

“It’s not working!” she exclaims. 

She’s only faintly aware of the other passengers looking at them. Barbie wraps her arms around Midge tighter. Ken reaches over to rub her arm. She tries to focus on the soothing touches of her best friends, but to no avail. She’s clenching her jaw so hard that her face is starting to hurt. 

As the captain begins his announcements, Midge does her best to tune it out, but she can’t help listening to the safety procedures. Her heart races even faster. 

When the plane takes off, she grips Barbie tightly and cries, muffling her sobs against the girl’s shoulder. Barbie rubs her back and whispers comforting words into her ear. Ken continues stroking her arm. 

It takes several minutes for her to cry herself out. Finally, she raises her tearstained face from Barbie’s shoulder and rests her head against the seat. She continues to cling to the girl though and her friend holds her just as tightly. 

“Just think that soon we’ll be in Willows with our families and have a wonderful Thanksgiving break,” Barbie murmurs. “We’ll have an amaze time! We’ll go to Buster’s Smoothies and go bowling and of course we’ll have a delish Thanksgiving dinner with all of our families together!” 

Though Midge is touched by her friend’s attempts at encouragement, she can’t do anything but nod. She’s too overwhelmed to speak. Ken falls asleep shortly into the plane ride. He always sleeps on plane trips. Barbie continues to talk to her about whatever random thing that pops into her head, doing her best to distract her, but nothing can stop the pounding of Midge’s heart and the shortness of her breaths. She spends the rest of the plane ride a panicky, dizzy mess. 

When they finally touch down in Milwaukee, Midge is flooded with such a strong wave of relief that she laughs in delight. Barbie giggles before reaching over to poke Ken awake. 

XXX

As always, Barbie’s parents pick them up to drive them back to Willows. Willows has no airport, so they always have to make the one hour drive to Milwaukee to pick up and drop off Midge, Barbie, and Ken. As Midge and her friends approach the Roberts car that’s parked in the pick-up area, Barbie’s parents pop out. 

“Hi, guys!” George and Margaret exclaim, and before any of them reply, they’re all pulled into a group hug. 

“I missed you so much!” Barbie exclaims tearfully. 

Tears of her own are burning Midge’s eyes too. She loves George and Margaret like they’re her own parents and it’s always such a relief to see them again after her months spent in Malibu. 

“We missed you too!” George and Margaret exclaim. 

On the car ride home, they all talk about how school and work have been going. Midge grins widely the whole time, so overjoyed to be back home. Now that there’s been a two hour time change, it’s dinnertime and George and Margaret invite her over for dinner. She quickly agrees. On top of wanting to spend as much time with them as she can, she always has to cook for herself at home and she’s drained from the plane ride.

XXX
6:37 pm

As soon as they enter the mansion, Skipper, Stacie, and Chelsea run over to greet them, pulling Midge, Barbie, and Ken into a group hug. The Roberts family's dog, Taffy, runs over too. As the hug ends, Midge leans down to pet her. 

“You’re finally back!” Stacie exclaims, sounding near tears. 

Standing back up, Midge reaches down to ruffle Stacie's hair. 

“Yes we are, kiddo,” she murmurs. 

“I need you guys to hear this new song I made!” Skipper enthuses. 

Midge giggles. Skipper is rarely this excited. Clearly their coming home means a lot to her. 

“Not before we play dollies though!” Chelsea insists, putting her hands on her hips. 

Skipper rolls her eyes. “They always play dollies with you, Chelsea, but this song is brand new!” 

Chelsea glares, opening her mouth to continue the argument, when Barbie intervenes. 

“We will do both of those things tomorrow!” she exclaims. “But tonight, we’re going to have dinner and then how about some Mario Kart?” 

That grabs the girls’ attention. Their eyes widen with excitement. Mario Kart is everybody in the family, including Midge’s and Ken’s, favorite video game. The girls quickly agree. 

Barbie smiles. “Now that that’s settled, do you want some help in the kitchen, Mom and Dad?” 

They smile, but right before they can answer, Stacie cuts in. 

“Oh I already made dinner!” she exclaims. “Lasagna! Bon appetit!” 

Everybody’s eyes widen. 

“You cooked while we were out?!” Margaret exclaims. 

Skipper facepalms. “I tried to stop her, but she’s so bossy. She wouldn’t let up.” 

Stacie scowls at Skipper. “Hey!”

George frowns. “Stacie, you know that’s against the rules.” 

Stacie pouts. “But I wanted to surprise you guys.” 

Margaret and George both take deep breaths. 

“Well, thank you, sweetie,” Margaret says, her voice much calmer now, “but next time make sure we’re home before using the oven, alright?” 

Stacie grins. “Sure thing, Mom!” 

Margaret smiles softly, reaching down to stroke her hand over the girl’s hair. As Midge watches the exchange, she tries to maintain the smile on her face, but a thought she desperately tries to avoid creeps into her head against her will: she wishes she had parents like Margaret and George. 

XXX

After a dinner of rather bland lasagna that they all act incredibly enthusiastic about, they play Mario Kart. As usual, Midge gets 11th or 12th in every race, but she doesn’t care if she does well in games. It’s all about the fun for her. Luckily, she has friends that would never make fun of her for her lack of aptitude in video games. They know she could beat them at Scrabble any day any time. Well, she could beat everybody except Chelsea, that is. Nobody beats Chelsea at, well, anything.

“How do you do it, Chels?!” George exclaims, as the girl wins yet another round of Mario Kart. 

Chelsea grins devilishly. “It’s all in the finger placement.” 

Midge can’t help but stare in amazement at the six year old. This kid is going places, that’s for sure. 

XXX
8:49 pm

“Thanks for dropping me off!” Midge exclaims, as Margaret pulls up to her apartment. 

Margaret smiles softly at her. “Of course, sweetie. You have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Midge grins. “Thank you. You too.” 

The light layer of snow crunches under Midge’s boots as she walks towards her apartment door. As usual, Margaret doesn’t drive away until Midge enters the apartment. It’s a rather nice apartment and it’s in a perfectly good area, but the Roberts have always been protective of her. As Midge opens the door with her key, she gives Margaret one last wave.

“I’m homeee!” she exclaims, as she walks in. 

Her mom is sitting on the couch, and as Midge walks over, the woman smiles softly. 

“Hello, dear,” she murmurs. “How are you?” 

Like usual, her mom is in pajamas and her long red hair is unkempt. The circles under her eyes are darker than ever. Midge tries to ignore how her chest clenches as she takes in her mom’s state. She should be used to it by now, but it’s always difficult to witness. Still, she doesn’t let the smile on her face fall. She sits down beside her mom before pulling her into a tight hug. When they part a moment later, the woman plants a soft kiss on the top of her head. That, along with the adoring look her mom gives her, washes nearly all her sadness away. 

“There’s my baby,” her mom murmurs. “How have you been, sweetheart?” 

“Good,” Midge replies. “Lots of schoolwork and tutoring, but it’s been good.” 

It’s only polite to ask her mom how she’s been doing in return, but Midge doesn’t have it in her right now to hear her mom lie about her wellbeing, so she avoids the question by continuing to talk. 

“I made a new friend,” she says. “You know that girl I started tutoring? Summer? Well, it turns out she’s actually really nice and we’ve been hanging out. I’ve been going to her soccer games. She’s a really good player, Mom. Like unbelievably good.” 

Her mom frowns. “Didn’t you say she bullied you?” 

Midge suddenly feels defensive. Annoyance surges through her chest. 

“Well, no,” she says, unable to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. “She was rude, but certainly not a bully. She was just having a hard time. She’s actually really sweet. I was overwhelmed at a party and she made sure I was okay.” 

Her mom narrows her eyes. “You were at a party? What kind of party?” 

Midge’s frustration increases. She has to resist the urge to roll her eyes. Why does her mom always have to be so difficult? Why can’t they just have a normal conversation? Why can’t the woman talk to her like Barbie’s parents do? With genuine care and understanding and no judgement? She takes a deep, calming breath. A moment later, when she knows she can answer without snapping, she speaks again. 

“Let’s just change the subject,” she murmurs. “How has knitting club been going?” 

All it takes is one look at her mom’s face to know the woman hasn’t been going. Her guilty expression says it all. She resists the urge to sigh as her irritation elevates even further. It takes her a couple moments to collect herself. 

“That’s fine if you haven’t been going,” she says, hoping it’s not too obvious how forced her encouraging tone is. “Maybe just start going again soon?” 

“Sure,” her mom mutters, brow furrowed.

Midge bites her lip so hard the skin breaks. This woman really has the audacity to act annoyed with her? She’s just trying to help, as usual, and like always her mom doesn’t want to be helped. She can’t take any more of this conversation. By some miracle, her body chooses that moment to yawn. 

“You tired, baby?” her mom asks, her voice soft. 

That’s how the woman’s moods go. One second she’s frustrated, the next she’s content, and the next she’s sad. Midge can’t keep up with how her mom feels most of the time. Trying not to dwell on how irritated and sad she herself feels, she nods. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty drained. I know it’s early, but I’m going to hit the sack.” 

“I think I’m going to turn in too,” her mom says. “Good night, darling.” 

Midge manages a small smile. “Good night.” 

XXX
9:53 pm

Midge is about to drift off when she hears the all too familiar sound of sobs coming from her mom’s room. She sighs heavily and groans. She’s so exhausted, and of course now is when the woman needs her. No matter how tired she is though, this is her mom. It’s her duty as her daughter to take care of her. 

Slipping out from under her warm covers is agonizing. She wraps her arms around herself, shivering, as she walks down the hall towards her mom’s bedroom. She takes a deep breath before walking in. As her eyes land on her mom curled up in bed, the sight as usual sends a sharp wave of pain shooting through her chest.

“Oh, Mom,” she murmurs, as she walks towards the bed. “It’s okay.” 

As she climbs into the bed, she wraps the blanket around her mom before lying down beside her and gathering her in her arms. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers, as her mom buries her face against her chest. “It’s going to be alright. I’m here.” 

She rests her cheek against her mom’s head and gently rubs her back. 

“Oh, Midge,” the woman sobs, clinging to her daughter tightly. “I’m so sorry.” 

Her mom always apologizes, but the breakdowns never stop. On one hand, Midge knows it’s her duty to comfort her mom. On the other hand, she often can’t help but think how backwards it is that it’s always her taking care of her mom and never the other way around. 

“You’re just so wonderful and I can’t do anything for you!” her mom exclaims between sobs. “I’m just too broken.” 

Tears burn Midge’s eyes. No matter how many times her mom is like this, her distress never fails to break Midge’s heart. She’s always been empathetic, and she feels people’s pain like it’s her own. 

“You are not broken,” she insists, her voice soft. “And you absolutely do things for me. You love me and give me advice and I appreciate that more than you know.” 

Midge can’t help but feel that she’s not being completely sincere, but she has to comfort the woman even if it takes a couple of lies. They’re only white lies after all. 

“I love you, Mommy,” she whispers. “It’s going to be okay, alright?” 

Her mom nods against her chest. 

“I love you too, baby,” she croaks. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Midge murmurs. “Just try to go to sleep, alright? I’ll be right here with you.” 

“Okay,” her mom whispers. 

It only takes a few minutes for the woman to fall asleep. When she begins to lightly snore, Midge considers going back to her room, but she doesn’t want to risk waking her mom up. It takes her a while to drift off, but eventually she falls into a restless sleep. 

XXX
Thursday November 25th 

All morning, Midge sits on the couch and watches the Thanksgiving Day parade on the TV alone. It’s been years since her mom got up to watch it with her, but still all she can think about as she watches the floats go by is how they used to watch it together when she was a kid. Midge would always get so excited when Santa appeared that she’d race around the living room squealing. They lived in a house back then, so she had a lot more space to run around. The first few Thanksgiving mornings her mom didn’t get out of bed, Midge cried quietly into a pillow, but now she just feels numb. She doesn't feel a single spark of joy even when Santa comes on. 

The dog show has just started when her phone buzzes. She picks it up, and as she sees who’s calling, her eyes widen and her heart begins to pound. She considers not answering, as all she ever feels when she talks to her dad is anger, but she decides a few seconds later that she better do it. He’s still her dad after all even if he doesn’t act like it. 

“Hello?” she murmurs as she answers. 

“Hey, Midge.” 

As usual, he sounds bored, like he’d rather be doing anything else than talking to her. She rolls her eyes. It was probably his wife, Jolene, that made him call her. She guesses that it’s Jolene that forces him to call her on holidays. He doesn’t even bother to call her on her birthday though. She holds back the urge to let out a nasty scoff. 

“Hey, Dad.” She forces herself to sound cheerful, but she still can’t speak above a murmur. “How are you doing?” 

“Good,” he replies. “Happy Thanksgiving.” 

She rolls her eyes again. Of course he didn’t even bother to ask her how she’s doing back. 

“Happy Thanksgiving,” she says, her voice still quiet. 

“How’s school?” he asks, sounding disinterested as ever. 

“Fine,” she answers, her jaw tightly clenched. “I’ve got good grades and everything. Tutoring is going well too.” 

“You need a tutor?” he questions, sounding confused. 

It takes all her restraint to not scoff. He doesn’t even remember her job?! She’s told him at least three times.

“Nope,” she says, unable to keep the tightness out of her voice. “I’m a tutor. It’s my job.” 

“Oh,” he says, his voice flat. “Well, good job.”

She rolls her eyes. He can’t even try to sound more genuine?

“Thanks,” she replies, endeavoring to keep her voice pleasant and only partially succeeding. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Have a good day.” 

“Thanks,” he says, sounding relieved. 

He immediately hangs up. She lets out the loud scoff she’s been holding in. 

“Jerk!” she exclaims. 

Hot bursts of anger are pulsing through every inch of her body. Her fists are clenched and she’s grinding her teeth. She tries to calm herself down by watching the adorable dogs on the dog show, but even their cuteness doesn’t help her mood much. 

XXX
3:31 pm

She doesn’t feel any better until she arrives at the Roberts house. Every member of the Roberts and Carson family takes turns hugging Midge and her mom. 

“How are you doing, Janie?” Margaret asks Midge’s mom, smiling brightly. 

“Fine, thanks,” her mom replies, giving the woman a small smile. “How are you?” 

“I’m great!” Margaret exclaims. “I’m so glad you and Midge are here!” 

Midge grins. “And we’re glad to be here!” 

“Hey, let’s go play Charades until dinner is ready!” Chelsea exclaims. 

A few minutes later, Midge, the Roberts sisters, Ken, Ken’s brother Tommy, and George are all assembled on the living room couches. George allegedly joined so they can have even teams of two, but everybody knows he’s a Charades fanatic. Midge can’t help but chuckle as she looks at Ken and Tommy sitting next to each other. They could not be more different. Ken looks ever the gentleman in his blue button-up shirt and light brown pants. Tommy, who’s been going through a goth phase since he started high school, is dressed all in black. She notices he’s toned down the makeup for the occasion though. He’s only wearing a thin layer of eyeliner today. 

Midge and Barbie team up as usual. Like always, they do amazingly, each girl guessing what the other is acting out seamlessly every time. They always work as a team flawlessly. 

“No fair!” Skipper exclaims when they’re in the lead by four points. “They have a secret language! That gives them an advantage!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Barbie says innocently. 

Midge giggles. She and Barbie have been working on a secret language since kindergarten and they mostly have it mastered. Even Ken isn’t in on it. As much as Midge adores Ken, she and Barbie have a connection that outshines any other relationship she has. It’s been that way ever since Barbie invited her to play with her on their first day of preschool. 

XXX

As they all sit down at the table, they begin their tradition of saying what they’re thankful for. Midge always says that she’s thankful for her family and friends and then adds on one other thing. This year, she adds Buster’s Smoothies. Everybody laughs. Even her mom lightly chuckles. 

“I’m so thankful for my beautiful, kind, talented daughter,” her mom, who’s sitting next to her, murmurs when it’s her turn. 

Midge’s eyes immediately fill with tears. 

“I love you too, Mom,” she says, her voice shaking slightly. 

She does love her mom with all her heart, and that’s what makes her constant despondence and frequent criticality hurt all the more. Barbie, who’s sitting on her other side, strokes her shoulder for a moment, clearly knowing what she’s thinking and feeling. 

Luckily, her mood is lifted as dinner proceeds. Everybody’s cheerful chattering serves to lull her into a state of contentment. Though she’s a picky eater, she loves almost every dish at Thanksgiving. Mashed potatoes are by far her favorite. Taffy is under the table begging for food and Midge can't resist sneaking her a small piece of turkey. 

When the conversation comes around to Barbie’s career, the girl’s cheeks immediately flush. Midge will never understand how a person as outrageously talented as Barbie can still be so humble and down to earth.

“I really hope you get that movie role!” Stacie exclaims. “Getting to work with Emma Watson?! That would be amazing!” 

“It would be amazing,” Barbie admits, her voice soft. 

“I know you can do it, Barbie!” Chelsea exclaims. 

Barbie smiles gently. “Thank you, Chels.” 

“All that matters though,” George says, “is that you try your best and I know you will.” 

Margaret nods. “Exactly.” 

Midge can’t help but watch as George wraps his arm around Margaret’s shoulders and Margaret turns to give his lips a quick peck. She wonders what it would be like to have parents who love each other like that. She doesn’t usually think too much about the couple’s affection, but after the phone call with her dad today, she keeps thinking about the love the Roberts family has for each other and how much she wishes her family had that same unbreakable bond. 

XXX

Midge stays the night at Barbie’s house, as she always does on Thanksgiving. After playing Just Dance, which raises Midge’s spirits, they settle in Barbie’s king-sized bed to watch a movie. Taffy is asleep at the end of the bed, snoring softly. Midge will never get over how beautifully decorated her friend’s room is. They decide to watch Pitch Perfect 2, since they watched the first one on their last sleepover. Before hitting play, Barbie turns to her. 

“Are you okay?” she asks gently. “There were some times at dinner where you looked a little down.” 

Midge sighs deeply, her mood instantly dampening again. As much as she wants to avoid the topic, she doesn’t want to lie to Barbie. 

“The issue isn’t much different than usual,” she murmurs. “Just my mom crying constantly and judging my every move.” She scoffs bitterly. 

Barbie reaches out and runs her hand through her hair. Midge’s muscles immediately relax, comforted by her friend’s familiar touch. 

“And my dad called me today and was uninterested as ever and that just soured my mood.” 

She fails to add that seeing Barbie’s family’s love for each other made her feel even more depleted. She’d never admit to that. She knows what her friend would say, that she’s a part of the family too, and Midge knows this, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting that her family will never have that same kind of connection. 

“I’m sorry,” Barbie says, her voice soft. “That’s really hard.” 

She continues stroking Midge’s hair. Midge’s eyes slip shut, soothed by the gentle sensation. 

“It’s alright,” Midge mutters. 

Barbie smiles encouragingly. “Well, me and my whole family are here for you, and you can come stay with us anytime.” 

Midge smiles gently as appreciation for her friend warms her chest. 

“I know,” she murmurs. “Thank you.” 

Barbie gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “No need to thank me, sweetheart. You know I’ll always be here for you.” 

Midge grins. “And I’ll always be here for you.” 

Barbie smiles softly. “I know.”

Midge chuckles. “Now let’s stop with this sad stuff and watch Pitch Perfect.” 

Barbie grins. “Sure thing!” 

After starting the movie, Barbie wraps her arm around her and Midge snuggles into the embrace, resting her head against her shoulder. By the time the movie ends, Midge can barely keep her eyes open. 

Barbie giggles softly. “You’re so cute when you’re sleepy.” 

Midge pouts. “Am not.” 

Barbie chuckles. “Am too.” 

Midge scoffs softly before drawing away from Barbie and lying down. Barbie lies down next to her. 

“Good nighttt, Midge,” Barbie says playfully. 

Midge rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Good night, Barbie.” 

XXX
Friday November 26th 
11:41 am

Midge and the Roberts sisters are putting their shoes on, about to leave for the bowling alley, when Margaret and George walk into the living room. 

“Hey, Midge,” George says, “a letter addressed to you came to our house for some reason. Want to come take a look?” 

Midge resists the urge to groan. She knows what George and Margaret really want to talk about, and she’s not in the mood. 

“Sure,” she says, trying to make her voice cheerful, before following them into the kitchen. 

George and Margaret sit down beside each other at the table and Midge sits on the other side. George adjusts his glasses, a nervous habit of his. 

“Sweetie,” Margaret begins, her voice soft, “before you go back to Malibu, we just want to make sure you’re still doing good without therapy. I know it’s been a year now since you stopped going and you’re doing really well at university, but I just want to make sure you’re doing okay in all other areas. We can always put you back with Doctor Williams, dear.”

Midge thinks. Is she doing okay? She thinks so. Of course her mom’s condition affects her as always, but she’s done enough therapy to know the pain of that situation can’t be helped. Her mom’s depression is always going to hurt her too. There’s nothing she can do about it. 

“We know your mom isn’t doing as good as she could be,” George says gently, eyes filled with concern. “We’ve been checking in on her and trying to get her to go to her psychiatry appointments and knitting club, but she doesn’t seem to be going to either.”

Margaret quickly speaks up. “But we’re sure she’ll be fine, dear. She always comes out of these depressive episodes and gets a little better eventually.” 

Midge chews at her bottom lip as the familiar sadness washes over her again. Suddenly, a memory floods her mind. She’s thirteen years old again. George and Margaret think she’s asleep. They’re on the phone with her mom. She remembers what George said word for word: “Honestly the only reason we're not calling CPS right now is both because Midge has us and because we don't want to cause the poor girl even more stress!” 

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” 

She’s jolted out of the memory by Margaret’s soft voice and a gentle pressure on her shoulder. She blinks as she comes out of her stupor. Margaret is leaned forward, hand resting on Midge’s shoulder. 

“O-Of course!” Midge exclaims. She clears her throat. “I’m fine.”

Her cheeks flush. She hates making people concerned for her.

George frowns. “Are you sure? I’m sorry if I triggered you.” 

Midge shakes her head. “You didn’t! Don’t worry!” She clears her throat again. “Thank you for the concern, but I’m totally fine.” 

They don’t look entirely convinced, but they don’t question her further. 

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Margaret murmurs. “We’ll let you go bowling now.” 

Midge grins. “Thanks! See you guys later!” 

XXX

Midge races Barbie to the car and luckily is able to get into the driver’s seat first. 

“Haha!” she enthuses, as Barbie hands the keys over with a glare. 

Her mood has been dampened by the discussion with Barbie’s parents and the unwarranted memory, but she can’t let it show. She has to act cheerful no matter what. The last thing she wants is Barbie worrying about her. Luckily, Barbie hasn’t seemed to notice how she’s feeling so far. 

“Seatbelts buckled?” Midge checks. 

“Yep!” Barbie’s sisters exclaim. 

“Alright then! Let’s go!” 

XXX

They meet Ken at the front of the bowling alley. They all take turns hugging him before walking in. When they check in, the employee asks if they want bumpers up. 

“You want bumpers, Chels?” Ken asks. 

Chelsea scoffs. “Bumpers are for preschoolers!” 

The group laughs and Midge joins in, her mood raised slightly by Chelsea’s cuteness. 

As they bowl, Midge as usual does a horrific job, but her friends still cheer for her every time. As she looks at their smiling faces, she thinks about how thankful she is for each and every one of them.

XXX

As Midge reads the last few sentences of what she wrote that night aloud, tears sting her eyes.

"The pain surrounding Ingrid is like a cloud that never dissipates. It's all the same all the time. Maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's too murky to see that far."

After turning the lamp off and snuggling under the covers in her bed, it takes her a long time to fall asleep. She spends the whole night drifting in and out of dreams that she can't remember but fill her with an ominous feeling. 

Chapter Text

Friday December 11th 
10:14 pm

"The kiss Alice pulls Ingrid into is so swelteringly hot, Ingrid can barely breathe, but she doesn’t care. The euphoria she feels is so overwhelming, she suddenly feels lightheaded. But Alice’s strong arms hold her steady and Ingrid knows with a full certainty that they always will."

Midge murmurs the last few sentences of what she wrote to herself with a small, dreamy smile on her face. She’s about to close her laptop when her phone buzzes, vibrating her desk. She flinches in shock. She never gets calls this late. Who in the world could it be? When she picks it up and looks at the caller ID, her stomach drops and she lets out a ragged gasp. She immediately answers. 

“Dad!” she exclaims, her voice frantic. “What is it?! Is Mom okay?! What happened?!” 

“Calm down,” he says, his voice still somehow as nonchalant as ever. “Your mom’s fine.” 

The relief that flows through her is so strong that she sags in her chair. 

“Oh thank God!” she exclaims. 

Her eyes narrow as panic turns to confusion. What is her dad doing calling her on a day that isn’t a holiday?” 

“Well, what is it then?” she asks, voice filled with confusion. 

He clears his throat. “Your mom and I were talking and we decided that it would be a good idea to celebrate Christmas together this year. You, me, her, and Jolene.” 

Midge narrows her eyes. He can’t be serious. They haven’t celebrated a holiday together as a family since she was twelve. 

“Is this some kind of prank?” she questions, suddenly on the defense. 

Her dad sighs heavily. “Since when do I pull pranks, Midge? Call your mom if you don’t believe me.” 

He has a point. He hasn’t pulled a prank on her once. Now that she knows he’s telling the truth, the wave of excitement that bursts through her is so intense, she jumps out of her chair and bounces around her room. 

“Oh my God!” she shrieks. “I can’t believe it! Thank you so much, Dad! I love you!” 

Tears drip from her eyes and stream down her cheeks. She’s so beside herself with joy that she doesn’t even realize she told him she loves him, something she hasn’t done since before he and her mom divorced when she was thirteen. 

“Okay, okay, calm down,” he says with another deep sigh. “Don’t give yourself a conniption.” 

Usually she’d roll her eyes at that, but she’s too excited to be frustrated. 

“Listen, I’ve got to go,” he says, “but I’ll see you at Christmas.” 

She opens her mouth to respond, but before she can say anything, he hangs up. She doesn’t even care that he abandoned the conversation so early. She’s too happy. She needs somebody to share in her joy with her. Luckily, the perfect candidate for that lives with her. 

“Teresa!” she exclaims, racing down the hall. “I have super exciting news!” 

As she enters the living room, Teresa jumps up from the couch where she was watching TV. 

“What?!” she exclaims, running to meet Midge. “Are we getting a labradoodle?!” Her eyes shine with excitement.

Midge giggles. “Even better than that! My mom and dad are both going to celebrate Christmas with me this year! We’re going to all be together as a family!” 

As it fully sinks in, she chokes out a sob. Teresa immediately pulls her into her arms. 

“Why are you crying?” she asks, voice heavy with concern. “Aren’t you happy?” 

“These are happy tears!” Midge exclaims breathlessly. 

She gives Teresa a squeeze before pulling back. Teresa squeals, bouncing up and down, before embracing Midge tightly again. 

“I’m so happy for you!” she exclaims. “I just know you’re going to have the best Christmas ever!” 

Midge giggles, hugging her friend back just as tightly. “I think you’re right!” 

XXX

Midge is so excited, she can't sleep. Knowing Summer will still be up, as she's told Midge before that she rarely goes to bed before two, Midge texts her the news. 

[Midge 11:27 pm] My dad called and said that he and my mom will both celebrate Christmas with me this year! 😁

Midge hasn't told Summer anything beyond the fact that her parents are divorced and she plans on keeping it that way for a while, but all the same she needs somebody else to celebrate with. Barbie and Ken almost always go to bed early. Summer immediately starts typing. Midge watches the dots dance across the screen. 

[Summer 11:28 pm] Aww congrats Midge! I'm so happy for you 😁

Midge grins, chest warm with joy. It's amazing enough that her family will be celebrating Christmas together, and her friends sharing in the joy with her makes it all the better. 

XXX
Saturday December 12th 
8:02 pm

“I’m so glad you guys could come!” Midge exclaims, as Summer and Nikki step through her and Teresa’s front door. 

Summer grins. “We’re glad to be here!” 

Despite the dark circles still being under her eyes, she’s thankfully in good spirits. She hasn’t been herself since coming back from Thanksgiving break. Finally, she seems happy and her joy sends a wave of relief coursing through Midge’s chest. 

She thrusts a bottle of wine into Midge’s hands. “Nikki insisted we bring this.” 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “It’s only polite to bring something to a function you’re invited to, Summer.” 

Summer scoffs. “Function? This is a game night.” 

“That’s still a function!” 

Midge giggles. She’ll never get tired of watching Summer and Nikki bicker. Despite their arguments, she can tell that they mean the world to each other. 

“Well, thank you,” says Midge, effectively breaking up the quarrel. “Let’s go. We have a few games on the kitchen table to choose from. We also have sparkling cider set up on the counter and I’ll go ahead and put the wine next to it.” 

Summer smiles brightly. “Sounds good.” 

Nikki nods in agreement. As they walk through the living room towards the kitchen, Midge suddenly notices Teresa is still sitting on the couch and that she never greeted Summer and Nikki. 

After Summer and Nikki enter the kitchen, Midge goes over to the couch. 

“You okay?” she whispers to Teresa. 

Teresa jolts like she just came out of a trance. 

“Y-Yeah,” she stutters. “Totally! I just…” She looks around like she’s not quite sure where she is. 

Midge frowns as a wave of concern rushes through her. 

“Are you feeling okay?” she murmurs. 

Teresa quickly nods. “Yeah, totally! Let’s just go into the kitchen now!” 

She jumps up from the couch and hurries into the kitchen. Midge follows. Summer and Nikki are already sitting at the table. As Midge sets the bottle of wine on the counter, they quickly get up. Midge smirks as they each grab a glass from the assembly of glasses she placed on the counter. As they sit back down next to each other, Midge pours her and Teresa glasses of sparkling cider. Teresa isn’t a fan of alcohol either. As Midge sits down next to Teresa and hands her the glass, she notes how flushed her face is. Her brow furrows in concern. Is the girl sick again? Figuring it’s best to not ask her in front of Summer and Nikki, she turns her attention back to their guests. Summer and Nikki are loudly talking. Both girls are loud on their own, but when put together they rival the volume of spectators at a sports game. She decides she better introduce Teresa to Nikki. They grow quiet as Midge clears her throat to get their attention. 

She gestures to Teresa. “Nikki, meet Teresa.” 

“O-Oh,” Teresa stutters, giving a small wave. “H-Hi.” 

Midge can’t help but raise an eyebrow. Why does Teresa sound so flustered? She’s never nervous to meet new people. She’s as outgoing as Barbie and Ken combined. As she looks over at Teresa and sees her blazing red cheeks and shy smile, she then turns her gaze to Nikki who looks nearly identical. It’s then that she realizes what’s happening. She suppresses the devilish grin that threatens to form on her face. 

“H-Hi,” Nikki replies, sounding just as flustered. 

Summer is looking between Nikki and Teresa, eyebrow raised. Her eyes meet Midge’s and they share a knowing grin. Deciding to save the girls from the awkward encounter, Midge speaks up. 

“So, what were you girls wanting to play? Yahtzee? Apples to Apples? Pictionary? Clue?” 

“How about Clue?” Summer suggests. “I love a good murder mystery!” 

Midge actually didn’t expect that, but she manages to not look surprised. 

“Sure!” she agrees. 

She decides not to ask Teresa and Nikki their opinion, knowing that they'll both be stuttering messes again. She almost laughs at the absurdity of it all. Never would she have expected Teresa and Nikki to crush on each other. Teresa is happy go-lucky and adorable in every sense of the word. On the other hand, Nikki is fierce and ambitious and even intimidated Midge a bit at first. It didn’t take Midge long to learn though that, similar to Summer, Nikki is a softie underneath her bluster. She knows Nikki would be the first in line to throw a punch at anybody who messes with her friends. 

“Okay!” Midge exclaims, as she opens the box. “Let’s go!” 

XXX

The irritated expression on Summer’s face when Nikki wins isn’t subtle. As Midge and Teresa begin to clean up the game, Summer lets out a heavy sigh before taking a large swig of her wine. Midge raises an eyebrow. She’s not exactly surprised that Summer is a sore loser, considering how competitive the girl is, but it’s still a bit shocking to witness how openly frustrated she’s acting. 

After placing the games back on the living room bookshelf, Midge uses the bathroom. When she returns to the kitchen afterwards, her eyes widen. Teresa and Nikki are standing next to the table, much closer together than Midge would expect two people who just met to. Teresa is twirling a strand of hair around her finger as they talk quietly. The expression on Nikki’s face is decidedly seductive. When she says something apparently funny, Teresa giggles into her hand. Midge’s eyebrow raises. This is uncharacteristic behavior for Teresa to say the least. She’s never seen the girl flirt. Nikki must have her quite smitten. 

Her eyes land on Summer then who is looking rather uncomfortable. As her eyes meet Midge’s though, the awkwardness fades and she grins. Deciding it best to give Teresa and Nikki some privacy, Midge gestures her forward. Summer looks relieved as she stands up and makes her way towards Midge. Midge leads her into the living room. As soon as they’re out of sight of their friends, they descend into a fit of giggles. They muffle the laughs behind their hands, not wanting to draw attention. As their laughter fades, they grin at each other. 

“I’ve never seen Nikki like that,” Summer whispers, expression filled with awe. “Sure, she’s flirted around me, but I’ve never seen her get all flustered like that. Teresa must be quite the enchantress.” 

Midge giggles. “The thing is, she isn’t. I’ve never seen her flirt. Not once.” 

Summer’s eyes widen. “Now that’s strange.” 

Midge nods. “It really is.” 

As silence falls upon them, she suddenly remembers that Summer texted her that she got a C+ on a test. Midge figures she better congratulate her in person. 

“Great job on your test!” she exclaims. “You’ve worked so hard. I’m really proud of you.” 

Summer’s cheeks turn pink. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. 

“Of course!”

Clearly feeling awkward from the praise, she avoids Midge’s gaze, instead looking around the room. Her eyes suddenly widen. 

“Did you paint that?!” she exclaims, pointing to the wall across the room. 

Midge immediately flushes as she looks and realizes what Summer is talking about. It’s a painting of the ocean she did last year.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she says, waving her hand dismissively. 

Summer scoffs. “You always say that, but it’s not true! You’re an amazing artist! Honestly you’re amazing at everything. Art, school, tutoring. You’re much better than me at those things, that’s for sure. Why can’t you realize how good you are?” Her eyes narrow like she’s genuinely confused. 

Midge shrugs. She hopes her face doesn’t look as hot as it feels. She takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the butterflies swarming through her stomach. She knows she has problems with self-worth, but she doesn't exactly feel like discussing that with a person she’s not even particularly close with. Quite frankly, she doesn't want to talk about it with anybody. She even avoids the topic with Barbie. 

“I’m not that amazing,” she insists. “I mean, don’t sell yourself short. You got into this university. Your grades couldn't have been bad in high school.” 

Summer scoffs. “It was my athletic skills that gave me an edge. My grades weren’t great. Mostly C’s, and I had to work with a lot of tutors to keep them that high.” 

She chews her lip, looking like she’s debating whether to say what she wants to next. Midge wonders what that could possibly be. She waits with bated breath. 

“None of them were as good as you though,” Summer finally says, suddenly sounding nonchalant. 

The fluttering in Midge’s stomach increases tenfold. Her cheeks are blazing so hot, the red must be vivid at this point. Looking at Summer’s expectant expression though, she knows she needs to say something. 

“Th-Thanks,” she stutters. “That’s very nice of you.” 

They stand in silence for a few moments. When the awkwardness is so thick that Midge wants nothing more than to go hide under her covers, Summer speaks. 

“Have you ever considered featuring your art at a school art gallery?” 

Midge takes a deep breath, trying to cool her burning face. She swallows before answering. 

“I mean, it’s crossed my mind,” she admits, “but I don’t think I’m nearly good enough.” 

Summer scoffs, waving her hand. 

“That’s bull!” she exclaims. 

Midge’s eyes widen, surprised by Summer’s outburst. Summer winces. 

“Sorry,” she says, her voice much quieter now. “I’m kind of intense, in case you haven’t already noticed.” She chuckles awkwardly. 

Midge giggles. “I have.” She quickly continues as Summer’s expression becomes sheepish. “That’s fine though! You’re passionate and you care about your friends’ success. I admire that.” 

Summer’s faces flushes again. 

“Nobody’s really ever put it that way before,” she mutters. 

Now it’s Midge’s turn to scoff. “Well, they should’ve!” 

Summer’s cheeks turn pinker, but her smile is wide. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. “You’re sweet.” 

Midge’s heartbeat begins to pound. Heat surges into her cheeks again. She’s often been called sweet, but for some reason when Summer says it, it feels different. She can’t even begin to understand why. 

She doesn’t realize she’s zoned out until Nikki appears and jolts her out of her stupor. 

“Ready to go, Summer?” the girl asks. “I need to film a vlog before bed.” 

“Oh, of course,” Summer says. 

Her expression is slightly downcast as she walks over to Nikki. It's like she doesn’t want to leave. Midge doesn’t want her to go either. 

“Bye, Teresa,” Nikki says, an unmistakably seductive lilt to her voice. 

Teresa, who’s standing a few feet away, gives a shy smile. Her face is red. 

“Bye,” she murmurs. “Call me?” 

Nikki chuckles. “Of course I will.” 

Midge and Summer look at each other, eyebrows raised. Clearly Nikki and Teresa are moving along quickly. 

As soon as Summer and Nikki leave, Midge turns to Teresa with a devilish grin. 

“You minx!” she exclaims. 

Teresa blushes even deeper. She waves her hand dismissively. 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she murmurs. 

Midge scoffs. “You call that nothing?! You two couldn't look away from each other even for a second!” 

Teresa keeps her nonchalant demeanor up for only one more second before cracking. She squeals. 

“Okay, I’ll admit it!” she exclaims. “She’s so pretty and cute and sooo sweet! She asked me on a date already! I’m so excited!” 

Midge grins widely, excitement for her friend surging through her. 

“That’s amazing!” she exclaims, bouncing over and pulling Teresa into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you!” 

Teresa giggles. “Thanks!” 

“When is the date?!” Midge exclaims, pulling back. 

Teresa grins. “We were thinking this Friday at six at Linguini’s!” 

Midge smiles brightly. “That sounds like a great plan! Linguini’s is a perfect first date spot! The ambience is perfect!” 

“Totally!” Teresa exclaims. 

She giggles before pulling Midge into another embrace. Midge laughs, wrapping her arms around her friend tightly. 

XXX

Midge’s smile doesn’t fade the rest of the night, even when she’s drifting off to sleep. Teresa is going on a date. Midge’s family is going to be together for Christmas. Life is good. 

XXX
Tuesday December 15th 
11:45 am

Midge bites back a growl as Keaton follows her out of the classroom. She continues walking, not paying him any mind as he calls her name. She’s decided she’s going to ignore him from now on.

“Midge!” he exclaims again. 

Then he does something she didn’t expect. He grabs her by the shoulder roughly enough that it stops her in her tracks. She whips her head around as a surge of anger flashes through her. 

“Don’t touch me!” she exclaims. 

He puts his hands up. “Okay, okay, okay!” 

She growls in frustration. She can’t believe he’s acting like she’s the one in the wrong. He just touched her for God’s sake! Every inch of her body is trembling with rage. She’s faintly aware of the concerned glances people are shooting her way as they walk by. Nobody stops to intervene though. She’s not sure whether that relieves her or pisses her off even more. 

“If you talk to me one more time,” she says, her voice low but shaking with fury, “I will tell Professor Smith everything you’ve done to harass me and believe me, she will not take it lightly!” 

His eyes widen for a second, but then an expression of anger replaces his shock. 

He scoffs. “Bitch.” 

She didn’t know she could get any angrier, but suddenly she’s so filled with rage, she’s ready to scream at him. Before she can though, he stalks off. 

She tries to collect herself as she walks in the opposite direction, taking deep breaths, but she spends the rest of the day blinking back tears. 

XXX

When Summer shows up at Midge and Teresa’s dorm for their eight o’clock tutoring session, it’s not long before Midge goes off on an angry rant about everything Keaton has done to her. Summer listens intently. A scowl quickly forms on her face, but she stays silent, letting Midge vent. As Midge gets to the part where he grabbed her shoulder, she can't stop herself from pounding her fist against the kitchen table. Her eyes widen. She shakes her head. 

“S-Sorry,” she stutters. “I didn’t mean to get so worked up! I just…” 

Summer scoffs angrily. “Don’t be sorry! He’s a fucking asshole! I’ll go with you to report him to the fucking dean! And before I do that, I’ll kick his fucking ass!” 

Midge’s eyes widen. She hadn’t expected Summer’s reaction to be quite so explosive. The girl’s face is red and her fists are clenched. Seemingly noticing Midge’s shocked expression, she takes a deep breath and her posture relaxes slightly. 

“Sorry,” she says breathlessly. “I just…this is serious, Midge. Tell your professor at least.”

Midge swallows. “I mean…if he talks to me again, I will.” 

Summer looks at her for a long moment, a doubtful expression on her face. Finally, when Midge feels like she’s going to crawl out of her skin, Summer breaks her gaze. 

“Okay,” she relents. “Just…if he does it again, please tell her and me, so I can beat the shit out of him!” 

Midge purses her lips. Though she’s flattered and actually rather giddy at how set Summer is on defending her, she can’t let it get to that point. 

Suppressing the grin threatening to form on her face, she murmurs, “I wouldn’t want you getting expelled.” 

Summer scoffs. “Defending you is more important than that!” 

Midge’s face flushes. 

“That’s not true,” she murmurs. 

Summer rolls her eyes. “It is!” 

She raises her eyebrow in challenge. Midge can’t meet her eyes. She looks down, cheeks burning. Summer sighs and her expression softens. 

“Hey, let’s not do tutoring tonight,” she says, her voice much gentler. “Let’s make some hot chocolate and watch a movie of your choosing!” 

Midge has to admit that sounds nice. She doesn’t want to pick a movie though. 

“Okay,” she murmurs. “I don’t want to choose the movie though.” 

Summer’s brow furrows. “Why not?” 

Midge chews her lip. “Because I don’t want to disappoint you if it’s something you don’t like.” 

Summer smiles softly. “Okay. Then I’ll tell you if I don’t like it. Deal?” 

Midge gives her a small smile. “Deal.” 

XXX

After making hot chocolate, Midge decides on Dirty Dancing. She figures it’s a classic that most people like. Summer readily agrees. 

“That’s a good movie!” she exclaims. 

Midge grins. “Good to hear!” 

After Midge starts the movie, she tries to pay attention, but she can’t help but keep glancing over at Summer. She can’t stop thinking about how sweet the girl is. If somebody had told her three months ago that Summer would be sitting in her living room watching a movie with her after consoling her and promising to protect her, she would’ve called them crazy. But here Summer is, and Midge couldn't be happier that it’s her by her side. Summer’s voice startles her out of her stupor.

“Am I slurping too loudly?” 

Midge quickly turns to her and frowns as she sees the sheepish expression on the girl’s face. 

“Sorry,” Summer continues. “That’s a bad habit of mine.” 

Midge shakes her head. “No! It’s not that! I just…” She clears her throat. “Thank you. For everything.” 

Summer’s eyes widen, but a second later her surprised expression is replaced by a soft smile. 

“Of course,” she murmurs. “And thank you. For everything.” 

Midge’s cheeks burn. She lowers her head slightly, suddenly feeling unable to meet Summer’s eyes. 

“Of course,” she whispers. 

They go back to watching the movie, but Midge still can’t focus. She can think of nothing but Summer. Her boldness. Her generosity. Her talent. Her beauty. How she goes out of her way to protect people. How she goes out of her way to protect her. 

XXX
Wednesday December 16th
7:09 pm

Midge hums as she does the dishes. She and Teresa share the household chores, but truthfully Midge wouldn't mind doing them all the time. Chores have always relaxed her. During the most stressful times in her life, they were a refuge for her. Luckily, nothing too bad is going on right now though. 

She starts as her phone vibrates in her pocket. Quickly drying her hands on a towel, she takes it out. Her eyes narrow when she sees that it's her mom calling. She rarely calls her at random. Hopefully everything is okay. Her stomach suddenly clenches at the thought of something being wrong. She quickly answers. 

“Hey, Mom. Is everything okay?” she asks, sounding more panicked than she meant to. 

“Everything's fine, sweetie,” her mom says immediately. 

Midge lets out a relieved sigh. 

Her mom clears her throat. “I just called to tell you that…” She sighs deeply. 

Midge's stomach contorts again. It certainly sounds like something is wrong. 

“What?!” she exclaims. 

“Patience, sweetie,” her mom chides. 

Midge rolls her eyes, panic momentarily turning to annoyance. As her mom sighs again though, the fear returns. A moment later, the woman finally speaks. 

“I hate to say this, sweetie, but your dad and I have decided that we're not going to be able to celebrate Christmas together this year. I just can't be around him. I'm so sorry, baby.” 

Tears immediately burn Midge's eyes. This feels like when they announced their divorce all over again. Her heart is pounding. Her stomach is churning with nausea. Her chest is tight, breaths coming in short gasps. 

“Baby, I'm so sorry…” her mom starts. 

But before she can finish her sentence, Midge hangs up with a shaking hand. She's not sure how long she stands there, trying to regulate her breathing, before one thought occurs to her: she needs Teresa. As she stumbles down the hall, sobs start building in her chest. The girl's door is open. She's lying in bed, giggling as she talks on the phone. The second she sees Midge, her eyes widen and she sits up. 

“I've gotta go,” she says quickly, before hanging up and setting her phone down. 

Before Midge can even think about what she's doing, she's racing forward and dropping onto the bed next to Teresa. 

“Midge, what's…” 

Teresa yelps as Midge surges forward, throwing herself into her arms. As the sobs burst out and she begins to cry heavily against Teresa's shoulder, she's faintly aware of the girl wrapping her arms around her and rubbing her back. She whispers words into her ear that Midge’s mind is too muddled to distinguish, but all the less it's a small comfort to hear her friend's voice. 

When she starts to become more aware of her surroundings and shifts slightly to get into a more comfortable position, she hears Teresa murmur, “What happened?” 

Midge just shakes her head. She doesn't even know how she could begin to describe something that hurts so much.

Chapter Text

Wednesday December 16th
7:05 pm

“Ooh it’s Teresa!” Nikki exclaims, eyes shining with excitement as she picks up her buzzing phone. 

Summer rolls her eyes. 

“Come onnn!” she whines. “You just talked to Teresa like an hour ago! I don’t want to lose my South Park buddy!”

Nikki bumps her shoulder playfully before standing up from the couch. “You’ll see more of this flawless face later, but my princess awaits.”

Summer scoffs. “You’re a cocky piece of shit, you know that?” 

Nikki sticks her tongue out at her before walking away towards her room. Summer shakes her head, an amused smile on her face. She can’t believe that Nikki already calls Teresa her princess. They only met five days ago. She never thought she’d see Nikki like this. She’s lovestruck to say the least. Summer acts annoyed, but truthfully she’s happy for her friend. After her rough breakup with Sasha, she deserves a happy relationship like this. Summer knows Teresa would never do anything to hurt Nikki. That girl couldn't hurt a fly. She’s innocent in every sense of the word. 

Turning her attention back to South Park, she quickly becomes distracted again, thoughts of Nikki and Teresa leaving her mind. 

As Nikki walks back in only a few minutes later, Summer raises an eyebrow. 

“That was short,” she says. “Usually you guys talk for like a fucking hour.” 

A wave of concern rushes through her as she notices the frown on Nikki’s face. 

“Is everything okay?” she asks. 

“I hope so,” Nikki replies, voice tight with anxiety. “She just said she had to go and hung up really quickly.” 

Summer’s concern quickly heightens. Hopefully everything is okay with Teresa. Hopefully everything is okay with Midge.

“She’s probably fine,” she reasons, trying to reassure herself as much as Nikki. “You know how easily distracted Teresa is.” 

“You’re probably right,” Nikki replies. Her brow is still furrowed though. “I’ll text her.” 

After Nikki texts Teresa, they sit in silence. Summer can only half pay attention to South Park as her thoughts race. Could something have happened to Midge? 

“I better text Midge,” she decides. 

She pulls her phone out and quickly sends the girl a text. 

[Summer 7:19 pm] Are you ok? 

Her stomach clenches when Midge doesn’t immediately text back. Teresa is known for taking a while to text back, given her distractible nature, but Midge always texts back right away. Now Summer can’t pay attention to the show in the slightest. All she can do is sit there stiffly and think about every worst case scenario. She’s not prone to catastrophizing like this, but the thought of Midge being unsafe sends a surge of panic through her so strong that she can’t concentrate on anything other than the pounding of her heart. 

“Oh Teresa texted me!” Nikki exclaims a few minutes later. 

“What did she say?!” Summer exclaims. 

She leans towards Nikki to try to see the text. 

Nikki raises her eyebrow. “Girl, chill! She just said that Midge is upset about something, so she has to comfort her right now.” 

Summer’s panic fades. At least nothing is urgently wrong with Midge. Still, the thought of her being sad sends a surprisingly strong burst of pain through her chest. 

“I hope she’s alright,” she murmurs. “I’ll text her again.” 

Nikki frowns. “Good idea.” 

Summer picks her phone up and sends the girl another message. 

[Summer 7:26 pm] Im here if you wanna talk ♥️

XXX

Midge doesn’t text Summer back until she’s doing her nightly routine of lying in bed and scrolling through Instagram. She finished her workout an hour ago, but her muscles are still burning. As soon as she sees the text, she frowns. 

[Midge 11:34 pm] I’m fine. Thank you for checking. 

Midge always uses emojis when she texts, adding smiley faces and hearts to everything. Clearly she’s really upset about something. Summer can’t even begin to think of what it could possibly be. She’s not the best at reading people in person, much less over text. She quickly texts back. There’s really only one thing she can say at the moment without prying, she decides.

[Summer 11:35 pm] I hope you feel better soon 💗

Midge immediately texts back. 

[Midge 11:35 pm] Thanks. I’m going to bed now. 

[Summer 11:36 pm] Alright sleep well ♥️

[Midge 11:36 pm] Thanks. You too. 

[Summer 11:37 pm] Thanks 💗

XXX

Summer hasn’t been getting more than a few hours of sleep a night since Thanksgiving break. For a majority of the night, all that she can think of is her mom’s screams, Blaine’s silence, Lizzy’s betrayal. Tonight is no different. She tosses and turns until after five. 

XXX
Thursday December 17th 

Summer barely gets through her classes without falling asleep. Even soccer season ending has done nothing to help with her fatigue. By the time 3:45 comes around and she’s walking towards the writing center though, she’s determined to not let her exhaustion show. The last thing she wants to do during her tutoring session with Midge is be a tired mess. The girl is probably still going to be upset and Summer wants to be attentive in case she needs to talk about anything. 

As the writing center comes into view, her stomach suddenly begins to flutter. What if Midge is extremely upset and she has no idea what to say? She’s not exactly the best with comforting words, and she’s not even especially close with the girl. It’s hard enough for her to console people she’s close to. Still, she wants to be there for Midge if she needs her. 

“Come on, Summer,” she whispers. “Put your game face on.” 

As soon as she approaches the table where Midge is sitting, she can tell the girl is upset. Her eyes are swollen and red, and when she smiles at Summer, it’s visibly forced. Summer’s chest clenches at the sight. She wishes there was something she could do to make the smile on her face genuine.

“Hey,” Midge says, her voice slightly hoarse, as Summer sits down. “How are you?” 

Summer is so focused on the puffiness of the girl’s eyes that she doesn’t register what she said. When Midge gives her a questioning look, Summer is pulled from her stupor. 

“W-What?” she stutters. 

“I asked how you were doing,” Midge murmurs. 

“O-Oh I’m good.” Summer winces, cheeks burning, as she stutters again. “How are you?” 

She feels stupid for asking, but it would be rude not to. 

“Fine,” Midge quietly replies, not sounding convincing in the slightest. “Do you want to get started now?” 

Summer nods. “Sure.” 

She unzips her backpack and pulls her laptop out. After it loads and she brings her business proposal up, she passes the laptop to Midge. She doesn’t miss how the girl’s hand trembles slightly when she reaches out to take the laptop. Summer’s chest clenches tighter. Midge looks so incredibly sad and defeated, and she feels helpless. There’s nothing she can do. She desperately wishes she knew what was wrong. Maybe then she could find some way to help her at least a little bit. 

She doesn’t realize she’s staring at Midge until the girl looks and gives her a slight frown. 

“Summer…” Midge starts. Her voice breaks. 

Summer’s eyes widen. What did she do wrong?! Panic races through her when she notices the tears sparkling in the girl’s eyes. Midge takes a deep, shaky breath. 

“When you look at me all sympathetic like that…” She hiccups, shoulders shuddering. “I-It makes it really hard for me to keep it together.” She presses her hand over her mouth as she chokes out a soft sob. 

Summer’s heart pounds. Her stomach squeezes. But the worst feeling of all is the sharp pain that stabs her chest when she sees the tears streaming down Midge’s cheeks. She has no idea what to do, but she has to try something. 

“I-I’m sorry,” she stutters. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.” 

Midge shakes her head. 

“I-It’s not you,” she chokes out. “I-I'm just upset right now.” 

Suddenly noticing that people are looking at them, Summer decides what the best course of action is. 

“Stay here,” she says, doing her best to make her voice soft. “I’m going to go tell the front desk that you’re sick and then I’ll take you back to my place. Nikki isn’t home.” 

Midge just nods. Her hand is clamped over her mouth, muffling her sobs. Summer rushes to the front desk. 

“Hey,” she says to the receptionist, Sandra. “Midge is feeling really sick. I’m going to take her home.” 

Sandra’s eyes widen as she looks over at Midge. 

“Oh my God is she okay?!” she exclaims. 

Summer quickly nods. “Yeah. She just really hates stomachaches. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.” 

Sandra nods. “Thank you. I hope she feels better.” 

Summer nods before hurrying back over to the table. She slings her backpack over her shoulder before grabbing Midge’s and placing it under her arm. 

“Come on,” she murmurs. “I’ll stand right in front of you to block you from view.” 

Midge nods before standing up on shaking legs and following Summer out of the writing center. The whole walk back to Summer’s dorm, Summer’s mind races. What should she do when they get there? What does Midge want her to do? She wants so badly to handle this situation like a good friend should, but she doesn't even know where to begin. Luckily, nobody notices Midge’s distress and if they do, they don’t stare. 

When they enter her dorm, she turns to Midge. 

“D-Do you want to sit down on the couch?” she stutters. 

She clenches her jaw. Her heart is racing. Butterflies are swarming through her stomach. Her entire body is stiff. God, she needs to get it together. As Midge nods and walks towards the couch, Summer takes a deep breath. 

Midge sits down and buries her face in her hands. Her body is shaking with sobs. Summer bites her lip. What should she do now? She should probably sit next to her, right? 

She slowly makes her way towards the couch. When she sits down, she’s acutely aware of the space between them. She doesn’t want to sit so close that it’s weird, but she doesn’t want to sit so far away that she seems unsupportive. She’s tempted to ask what’s wrong, but she figures she should wait for Midge to calm down a bit first. Hesitantly, she places her hand on the girl’s shuddering back. She racks her brain for something comforting to say. A few moments later, she decides to go with some generic consoling words.

“Hey,” she murmurs. “It’ll be okay.” 

She gives Midge’s back a few gentle pats. She clenches her teeth, praying that she’s going about this the right way and isn’t making a total fool of herself. 

Then something she didn’t expect in the slightest to happen does. Midge launches herself towards Summer. Summer instinctively puts her arms out and before she knows it, Midge is falling into them and sobbing heavily into her shoulder. Summer’s eyes widen. Her heart pounds even faster, throbbing against her skull. She sits frozen for a few moments. As the girl weeps even harder and clings to her tightly though, Summer hesitantly wraps her arms around her. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers, as Midge holds onto her tighter. “It’s going to be okay.” 

Tightening her grip, she pulls her friend closer. Her sleeve is soon soaked with tears, but she doesn’t care. All she cares about is being a source of solace for the distraught girl in her arms. She’s not sure how long Midge cries, but it feels like a long time. Usually Summer has a difficult time sitting still, but right now her need for stimulation is muted. 

When Midge finally pulls back and looks at her, Summer has the sudden temptation to wipe her tears away, but she quickly reins in the urge. That would be weird. Midge is only her friend, not a best friend like Nikki, and even when Nikki cried Summer didn’t feel the need to dry her tears. It’s like a deeply nurturing side of her has been unlocked and she wants nothing more than to make everything for Midge okay again. Midge leans back against the cushion with a sigh. She’s still sniffling and hiccuping every few seconds, but her sobs have calmed.

“I-I'm sorry,” she croaks. She sniffs. “For unloading on you like that.” 

Summer quickly shakes her head. “No, don’t be sorry! It-It’s fine! I want to be there for you. You’re my friend I…” She trails off as she realizes she’s rambling. 

As Midge gives her a soft smile, her face burns. She really is making a fool of herself, isn’t she? 

“Thank y-you,” Midge whispers, “f-for being there for me. You’re s-so sweet.” She still struggles to get the words out between her heaving breaths.

Summer’s cheeks burn hotter. 

She chuckles nervously. “I don’t know about that.” 

“You are,” Midge insists. 

Summer shrugs. “If you insist.” 

Suddenly realizing that she never asked Midge if she needs anything, Summer’s eyes widen. 

“Do you need anything?!” she exclaims. “Water? Tissues? I think we might have some tea. I’ve never made it before, but I’m sure I can figure it out.” 

“That’s f-fine,” Midge murmurs. “I-I’m just going to go clean up in the bathroom a-and then I’ll tell you what’s wrong, okay?” 

Summer nods. “Sounds good.” 

As Midge goes off to the bathroom, Summer grabs her a glass of water. Her heart pounds in anticipation. What in the world could have happened to make Midge this upset? The girl doesn’t strike her as the dramatic type. Something pretty bad must’ve occurred. 

She returns to the living room and after setting the glass of water on the coffee table, she sits down on the couch. Midge returns a couple minutes later. After sitting down next to Summer, she notices the glass of water. 

“Thank you,” she murmurs, before picking it up and taking a few shaky sips. 

“No prob,” Summer replies, her voice soft. 

After setting the glass back down, Midge is silent, other than the occasional hiccup or sniffle. Summer waits patiently, but on the inside she’s growing more anxious to know what happened by the second. When Midge finally speaks a few moments later, Summer gives the girl her full attention. 

Midge laughs softly. “I-I don’t even know why I cleaned up b-because explaining this to you…” She takes a deep, shaky breath. “I-It’s definitely going to make me c-cry again.” 

Summer frowns sympathetically. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” she murmurs, trying not to let her reluctance show. 

Midge shakes her head. “N-No. I-It’s only fair.” 

Summer doesn’t respond to that. She just waits as Midge collects herself. Finally, a few moments later, she begins her story. It’s only a moment into her explanation when the tears return. Feeling braver now, Summer places her hand on her shoulder. Her eyes widen as the girl confesses what happened. Her heart races, not with anxiety but with anger, red hot anger that courses through every inch of her body. 

When Midge’s story ends and she’s a crying mess again, Summer pulls her into another embrace, holding her tightly. 

“That is not okay,” she says, voice trembling slightly with barely concealed rage. “I can’t believe they did that to you. That’s so unfair of them. Ugh. I’m so sorry, Midge. I’m so sorry.” 

Midge squeezes her harder and Summer holds her just as tightly. 

XXX
Friday December 18th 
4:12 pm

The second Summer steps into the art store, she’s immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of art supplies. She’s going to have to talk to somebody. She quickly finds an employee.

“Hi,” she says. “I was wondering where your best colored pencils are.” 

He points to an aisle a few rows down. “They’d be down that aisle. Here, I’ll show you.” 

“Thanks,” she says, before following him. 

He leads her about halfway down the aisle before taking a box of colored pencils off the shelf. 

“These would be our best,” he says, “and certainly our most expensive.” 

The price tag reads $200, but she doesn’t mind. Her mom hasn’t disinherited her yet, and her family is loaded. 

“I’ll take them,” she says. She grins. “Thanks for showing me.” 

“No problem,” he says, before handing them to her. “Have a good day.” 

“You too.”

As she checks out, the cashier chuckles. “You must be very invested in your art.” 

Summer smiles brightly. “It’s for a friend actually.” 

XXX
8:01 pm

As soon as Summer greets Midge and lets her into her dorm, the girl immediately pulls her into a hug. Summer’s eyes widen. Apparently they’re on hugging terms now. She tries not to be too stiff as she hugs her back. She also tries not to breathe in the scent of Midge's shampoo, but the scent is so delicious she can't resist.

Midge pulls away a few seconds later and grins. “Thanks so much for inviting me over, Summer! It was lonely in the house without Teresa. I hope her date with Nikki is going well.” 

Summer chuckles. “I’m sure it’s going realll well.” 

Midge laughs. Summer was already in a good mood, but it’s lifted even higher as she sees that the girl is in better spirits today. She swallows, suddenly nervous as she thinks about her reason for inviting Midge over. She better get it over with now before she chickens out and doesn’t give the present to her at all. 

She clears her throat. “I have something for you.” 

She takes a deep breath, hoping her face doesn’t flush. Midge’s eyes widen. 

“Is it a gift?” she stutters. 

It’s a lost cause. Summer’s face begins to burn. 

She clears her throat again. “Yeah. It’s on the table here.”

She walks over to the coffee table, picks up the pink gift bag, and hands it to Midge. 

“Merry Christmas,” she murmurs. 

"Merry Christmas," Midge softly replies.

She waits with bated breath as Midge opens it. As soon as the girl draws the box of colored pencils out, her eyes widen and she gasps. She quickly looks up, meeting Summer’s eyes. 

“You have to return this!” she exclaims. “This must’ve been a couple hundred dollars at least!” 

Summer waves a hand dismissively. “It’s no problem. I’ll let you in on a little secret.” 

She leans in slightly and giving the girl a conspiratorial smile, she whispers, “I’m rich.” 

Midge bites her lip. “But still, I don’t want you spending this much on me.” 

Summer rolls her eyes. “Just take the gift, Midge. What’s the point of all this money if I can’t spend it to make my friends happy?” 

A soft smile forms on Midge’s face. 

“Well,” she murmurs. “I am happy. Very happy. This means so much. Thank you." Her voice trembles slightly.

Then, quicker than Summer can process, Midge pulls her into another hug. This time though Summer recovers faster and embraces her back far less stiffly than before. They hug a few seconds longer than last time, and just when Summer is starting to get decidedly uncomfortable, Midge pulls back. She opens her mouth to speak, but suddenly her eyes widen. 

“I don’t have a gift for you!” she exclaims. “I was planning on doing all my Christmas shopping in Willows over break! Don’t worry, I’ll bring something back for you!” 

Summer chuckles. “I’m not worried. It’s fine, Midge. You don’t need to get me anything. You’ve done more than enough for me with all the tutoring.” 

Midge purses her lips and shakes her head. “You’ve done so much for me too. Defending me, comforting me, spending this much money on me. I’m definitely getting you something!” 

Summer sighs softly. “Fineee. Nothing too elaborate though, okay?” 

Midge winks. “We’ll just have to see about that, won’t we?” 

Summer pouts. “I mean it, Midge.” 

Midge rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine! It’ll be thoughtful though! Very thoughtful!” 

Summer smiles gently. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

Chapter Text

Friday December 18th
11:27 pm

The second Nikki steps through the door, a devilish grin forms on Summer’s face. 

“How was your date?!” she exclaims, voice all sing-song. 

Nikki rolls her eyes before shutting the door. “It was fine.” 

Summer raises an eyebrow. “Just fine?” 

Nikki maintains her nonchalant expression for only one more second before a shit-eating grin takes its place. 

“Okayyy,” she relents. “It was amazing!” 

Summer smiles brightly as Nikki takes a seat on the couch next to her. She pauses South Park before turning to her. 

“Tell me everything!” she exclaims. 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “As if! It’s none of your business!” 

Summer pouts. “I’m your best friend though!” 

Nikki pouts. “What is there to tell? We had dinner, then we went for ice cream, and then we went back to her place.” 

Summer wiggles her eyebrows. “And what did you do there?” 

Nikki throws a pillow at her. “Enough! Nothing happened! It was all very proper!” 

Summer cackles. Before she can throw a pillow back at her, Nikki speaks. What she says has Summer immediately lowering the pillow as a feeling of dread sweeps through her. 

“Weren’t you going to ask me something this morning before Teresa called me?” 

Summer sits frozen, clueless as to what she should say. On one hand, if she says what she was going to say Nikki will question her. On the other hand, if she doesn’t she’ll have nowhere to go over winter break and she’ll spend nearly a month alone.

“Come on, spit it out!” Nikki exclaims, an irritated expression on her face. 

Summer swallows. Her throat is suddenly parched. Butterflies are swarming through her stomach and her heart is pounding. Why is she so panicked over such a simple question? This is stupid. Nikki frowns, her expression softening. 

“You okay, girl?” she asks, sounding genuinely concerned. “You can tell me.” 

Summer takes a deep breath. It’s now or never. 

“C-Can I come home with you over winter break?” she stutters out. 

She clenches her jaw. What if Nikki says no? Things will be awkward between them to say the least. 

Nikki raises an eyebrow. “Of course…but why? Did something happen over Thanksgiving break? You haven’t seemed quite right since then.” 

Summer quickly shakes her head as her heart races faster. 

“Everything is fine!” she exclaims. “It’s just…my mom is such a pain. I want to be around people who won’t judge my every move.” 

“What about Blaine?” Nikki asks. 

Summer clenches her jaw harder as a bolt of pain shoots through her chest, like it does every time she thinks of her traitorous brother. She swallows thickly. 

“He’s annoying too,” she says, using all the fortitude within her to keep her voice level. 

Nikki looks at her quizzically, analyzing her like she for some reason always feels compelled to do. Summer resists the urge to roll her eyes. She hates when her friend does this. Finally, Nikki sighs and answers. 

“Of course you can come, but are you sure you’re alright? You can talk to me, you know? I’m your friend.” 

Nikki is looking at her intently, and Summer can no longer avoid her intense gaze. As their eyes meet and Summer sees the concern brimming in Nikki’s dark eyes, she has the sudden strange urge to give in, to let her emotions out and confess everything that’s happened. Her mom’s vicious rejection, Blaine’s disloyalty, Lizzy’s betrayal. She can’t help but think about how good it would feel to finally get everything off her chest, to no longer have to carry this ever growing weight around by herself. 

A more rational side of her mind quickly takes over though. If she tells Nikki those things, then she’ll have to tell her more. She’ll have to go further back, explain why her family hates her so much in the first place. She can’t do that. So as always, she suppresses the treacherous urge to cry and plasters a smile on her face. 

She clears her throat. “Of course I’m alright. And I know I can talk to you. You’re a great friend.” 

Nikki doesn’t look convinced, but clearly she knows she’s pushed Summer enough. 

“Well, that’s good to hear,” she says, still sounding doubtful. “My mom will pick us up at ten tomorrow.” 

Summer nods. “Sounds good. Thank you so much.” 

Nikki smiles. “Don’t mention it.” 

Finally feeling more relaxed, Summer smiles. "Thank God your house has its own gym."

XXX
Saturday December 19th

The whole ride to Nikki’s house, the girl’s mom, Aaliyah, talks. It’s like she doesn't even have to stop for air. Summer has come home with Nikki for the weekend several times in the past, and she’s always found the woman’s ability to talk for hours straight impressive. 

“I’m so glad you’re staying with us, Summer!” she exclaims. “You’re going to have a blast! Serena and Jasmine decorated the house like crazy this year! Everything is beautiful! You’re going to love it!” 

Summer smiles. “I’m sure I will.” 

Serena and Jasmine are Nikki’s younger sisters. Summer forgot their exact ages, but they’re both in high school and Jasmine is a couple years younger than Serena. Nikki also has an older sister named Destiny who’s twenty four. She’s a model and has been featured in several magazines and TV advertisements. Summer probably remembers her age because she’s seen the most of her. The girl comes to their dorm once about once a month to hang out with them for a few hours. 

As they draw nearer to Nikki’s house and Aaliyah continues chattering, Summer can’t stop thinking about how much better Nikki has it than her. She has two loving parents and three sisters that would do anything for her. Her parents divorced when she was twelve, but her dad still comes to visit her and her sisters frequently. Summer knows it’s wrong to be jealous of her best friend, but she can’t help it. It’s hard not to envy people with better families than her. She tries to push the thoughts to the back of her mind and focus on what Aaliyah is saying, but her brain won’t cooperate with her. Finally, she gives up and just lets herself stew in jealousy and self-pity. 

XXX

Luckily, she’s distracted from her somber thoughts when they enter Nikki’s mansion and Serena and Jasmine run over to greet them both with crushing hugs. Summer isn’t really one for affection with people she’s not close with, but she hugs them back, doing her best to not stiffen. 

It takes her and Nikki several minutes to escape the excited teenagers so they can put their bags in their rooms. 

“Same guest room as last time?” Summer asks, as she and Nikki walk down the hall. 

Nikki nods. “Yup. That’ll work.” 

When they come to the guest room, which is a few doors down from Nikki’s room, Summer waves to Nikki before entering the guest room. Like every room in the house, it’s large and lavishly decorated. It’s nothing Summer isn’t used to though. Her house is the same way.

After setting her duffel bag down on the bed, she walks over to the vanity. She winces as she stares at herself in the mirror, as she usually does when she sees her reflection nowadays. As much as she tries to cover up the dark circles under her eyes with makeup, it only does so much. It also doesn’t hide how bloodshot her eyes are. She desperately wishes she could just sleep, but a night never comes where she’s relieved from her racing thoughts. She lets out a long, frustrated sigh. She wishes she could go back to normal, or at least to as normal as things ever were. To be fair, nothing has been too normal since she was eleven. She bites down hard on her lip as a wave of irritation surges through her. 

“Stop, Summer,” she hisses. “Don’t go there.” 

She doesn’t realize how roughly she’s biting her lip until the metallic taste of blood pervades her mouth. Hands shaking with anger, she grabs a tissue from the box on the nightstand and wipes the blood with far more force than necessary. That only makes it bleed more. 

“Fuck!” she exclaims. 

Her eyes widen as dread courses through her. Could Nikki’s family have heard her? She quickly reasons that that’s improbable. The living room is far away from here. 

Still, when she enters the living room a few minutes later, her stomach is fluttering with nerves. Nikki and her family are sitting on the couch talking, and when Summer enters the room they all give her bright smiles. A wave of relief rushes through her. They didn’t hear.

“Want to play Apples to Apples?!” Jasmine exclaims, looking at Summer expectantly. 

“Sure,” Summer immediately agrees. 

She’ll try anything to stop these negative thoughts from spiraling through her mind. Jasmine grins and claps her hands. Serena and Aaliyah quickly agree and Nikki obliges as well, though there’s a grimace on her face. She’s never been one for Apples to Apples. Summer likes it, though it’s not her favorite game. Pictionary will always be her favorite. She’s no good at drawing, but it’s entertaining beyond belief and she loves the fast pace of the game. 

Jasmine and Serena run off and only a couple minutes later the game is all set up on the kitchen table. As they play, Jasmine and Serena make conversation. 

“Did you win every soccer game this semester, Summer?!” Serena exclaims. 

Summer grins as a burst of pride races through her. “Yup! Every game!” 

Serena’s eyes widen. “Wowww!” 

Nikki rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “And you got through it all without a single injury happening on the field! That’s a record!”

Summer glares at her. “Oh you’ll regret saying that!” 

Nikki smirks. “Will I? What are you going to do about it?” 

Summer is about to throw her stack of cards at Nikki when Aaliyah interjects. 

“Okay, girls. Back to the game! I’m going to kick both your butts if you don’t focus more!” 

Nikki raises an eyebrow in challenge. “You wish, Mom!” 

Summer laughs and realizing how genuine her laughter actually is only makes her happier. 

XXX
5:19 pm

Destiny arrives home just in time for dinner. 

“Hey, guys!” she exclaims, as she walks through the door. 

After hugging her family members, she goes over to Summer and gives her one of her customary tight squeezes. 

“It’s nice to see you, Summer!” she exclaims, as she pulls back. 

Summer grins. “It’s nice to see you too!” 

The oven timer beeps. 

“That would be dinner!” Aaliyah exclaims. “Come on, girls!” 

XXX

Dinner is as chaotic of an affair as ever. Everybody laughs and talks over one another and reacts animatedly to what the others say. Luckily, that’s just Summer’s speed. 

“There was this new model at the photoshoot last week that really stood out to me,” Destiny is explaining. “Barbie Roberts. She’s a natural in front of the camera.” 

“Oh I know Barbie!” Summer exclaims. “She goes to uni with us! She’s friends with my friend!” 

“Oh I had no idea she went to uni with you guys,” says Destiny, eyes wide with surprise. “Is your friend a model too?”

Summer shakes her head. “No, she’s an English major. She wants to be a writer.” 

Destiny chuckles. “Now that’s an odd friendship pairing.” 

Summer shrugs. “I suppose. They grew up together in this town called Willows. It’s in Wisconsin.” 

She’s not sure why she suddenly wants to talk about Midge, but it makes sense, right? She’s become a significant part of her life over the past few months. 

Destiny raises an eyebrow. “Barbie came from a small town? Now I did not expect that.” 

Summer laughs. “True. She doesn’t exactly give small town vibes.” 

She only met Barbie briefly at the Halloween party, but the girl oozes big city energy. Midge, on the other hand, seems exactly like the resident of a small town. She’s shy, wears old-fashioned outfits, and couldn’t understand slang to save her life. She’s just as beautiful as Barbie though. Maybe even more beautiful. Her thoughts are cut off by Destiny speaking. 

“What’s your friend’s name?” Destiny asks. 

Summer grins. “Midge. She’s cool.” 

Nikki scoffs. “As cool as me?!” 

Summer rolls her eyes playfully. “No one’s as cool as you, Nikki.” 

Nikki smirks. “Correct answer!” 

Destiny laughs. “You two.” 

Summer chuckles before taking another large bite of chicken breast and mashed potatoes. This may as well be Christmas dinner. Aaliyah always goes all out with her meals. 

“Wanna go Christmas shopping tomorrow?” Nikki asks her. 

Summer makes sure to swallow before answering. “Sure. Sounds good.” 

She’s more than ready to spend elaborate amounts of money on this amazing family. 

XXX
Sunday December 20th
11:17 am

The second they step into the mall, Nikki turns to Summer and gives her a stern look. 

“Answer your damn phone this time! I swear to God, if I’m ready to check out and you won’t answer, I’m going to pretend you’re a lost child and make them call for you on that loudspeaker!” 

Summer rolls her eyes. 

“That was one time I didn’t answer, Nikki!” she exclaims. “Why won’t you let it go?!” 

Nikki scoffs. “Because I had to wait at the front for you for almost an hour and no matter how many times I tried calling you, you would not answer!”

Summer rolls her eyes again. “Well, that’s the tragedy of a year.” 

Nikki shoves her shoulder. “Stop being a brat.” 

Summer pouts. “I'm not being a brat!” 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “Okay, I’m going to leave your ass and go shopping now! Whether I get a Christmas gift for you or not waits to be seen!” 

“Love you too!” Summer yells sarcastically, as Nikki begins to walk away. 

All Nikki does is roll her eyes at her before disappearing into the crowd. Summer sighs before walking towards the escalator. She wishes she and Nikki could shop together, but they’re not going to want to go to all the same stores and they’re also getting presents for each other and being together would ruin the surprise. 

XXX

After shopping for a couple hours and spending over a thousand dollars, Summer meets Nikki at the food court for lunch. As she approaches the table Nikki is sitting at, her friend’s eyes widen comically. 

“I told you not to splurge!” Nikki exclaims, as Summer sets the multitude of bags down and sits across from her. 

Summer rolls her eyes. “You should know by now that I don’t listen.” 

Nikki scoffs. “Clearly. It would do you some good though.” 

Summer rolls her eyes again. “In case you didn’t notice, Nikki, I’m rich. So are you, so you should know what it’s like.” 

“My mom would never let me spend that much money though,” Nikki says, eyebrow raised. “Your mom is really fine with that? Didn’t you say she’s kind of strict?” 

Summer growls as anger surges through her chest.

“Fuck my mom,” she hisses. 

Nikki’s eyes widen. "Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit a nerve. Is everything okay?”

Seeing how concerned and apologetic Nikki is, Summer’s frustration begins to cool. It’s not exactly fair to blame the girl when she doesn’t know a thing about what her mom is really like.

She clears her throat. “It’s fine. No biggie. I just don’t like her.” 

Nikki slowly nods. They sit in awkward silence for a moment. When it’s becoming unbearably heavy, Summer breaks it. 

“What do you want to get? Panda Express?” 

“Sure,” Nikki agrees. “I’ll go get it. You can wait here with the bags.” 

“No, I'll get it!” Summer insists, quickly standing up. “Orange chicken and chow mein like usual?”

If she doesn’t walk some of this nervous energy off, she might just explode again. 

Nikki nods. “Yup. Thanks.” 

As Summer walks away, she can feel Nikki’s eyes following her. 

XXX
Thursday December 25th 
9:08 am

The first thing Summer does when she wakes up on Christmas morning is check her phone. Just like she expected, there's a text from Midge. 

[Midge 8:42 am] Merry Christmas, Summer! I hope you have a fantastic day! ❤️🎄

Summer grins as she texts back. 

[Summer 9:09 am] Merry christmas Midge! Thanks! I hope your day is fantastic too ❤️☃️

XXX
11:26 am

Summer and Nikki's family are sitting in the living room opening presents. Nikki’s dad, James, is over for the day and brought a ton of gifts. When it's Aaliyah’s turn to open Summer's gift, Summer's heart pounds in excited anticipation. 

“Oh Summer, you shouldn’t have!” Aaliyah exclaims, as she opens up the present Summer gifted her. “Thank you so much!”

“That's so pretty!” Jasmine exclaims, eyes wide with amazement. 

It’s a pink waffle iron, intricately decorated with little porcelain flowers and birds. Summer knows Nikki’s family has got to have several waffle irons, but she doubts that they have one this cute. Aaliyah immediately gets off the couch and walks over to the armchair Summer is sitting in to give her a tight embrace. As Summer hugs her back and breathes in the scent of rose perfume, she tries to ignore the sudden burning in her eyes. Her mom has never hugged her like this. She only got occasional short, loose hugs from her mom when she was a child and the woman hasn’t hugged her in nearly a decade. Stop, her mind hisses. Stop it right now. The last thing she needs right now is to break down in such a decidedly non-private place. So, she takes a deep breath and as Aaliyah pulls back, she forces a smile onto her face. 

“Of course!” she exclaims, thankfully succeeding at making her voice cheerful. 

“You’re the sweetest,” Aaliyah murmurs, running her hand through her hair. 

Summer chuckles awkwardly. “Thanks.”

Next, she opens her present from Aaliyah. Her eyes widen when she pulls the pair of basketball cleats out. They’re top of the line. They must have cost a fortune. She knows she should be thanking Aaliyah, but she’s suddenly at a loss for words. 

“So you’re all ready for the basketball season!” Aaliyah exclaims, a bright smile on her face. 

Finally, she finds her voice. 

“Thank you.” Her words fortunately come out smoothly. “This means a lot.” 

“Of course, sweetheart!” Aaliyah exclaims. 

Once again, Summer has to ignore a stinging sensation in her eyes. Nikki’s family cares about her. Really cares about her. She doesn’t know how to process the fact that she’s actually loved and accepted by an entire family, so she doesn’t even try. At least not right now. She just smiles and goes with the motions, like she so often has to settle for doing.

XXX

She turns in early that night. It's only a little past ten when she says goodnight to Nikki and her family and goes to get ready for bed. She knows falling asleep is a lost cause, but she at least wants to try. It's the only thing that will numb her pain. 

She's lying in her bed, trying to drift off when her phone buzzes. She groans as she reaches over to grab it from the nightstand. 

“That better not be Georgia,” she grumbles. “I’m not hanging out with those bitches again.”

When she picks it up and reads the caller ID, she immediately sits up as shock courses through her. 

“What the fuck?” she whispers.

Against her better judgement, she answers. 

“Why the fuck are you calling me, Blaine?!” she hisses. 

There's a long moment of silence. Her heart races as anger consumes every inch of her body. He has some nerve calling her now after how long he's neglected her. Finally, he speaks. 

“I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas,” he mumbles. “Is that a crime?” 

Her fury builds to such an intensity that she can feel her whole body blazing with heat. 

“Yes!” she snaps, her voice trembling with rage. “It is a crime because guess what? You haven't said a fucking word to me! I drop everything to comfort your whiny ass whenever you drink too much, but you couldn't have even bothered to make sure I was okay when I was kicked out on Thanksgiving?!”

All that's stopping her from screaming is the thought of Nikki's whole family hearing her. 

“I'm sorry!” he exclaims. “Mom would have been mad!” 

She scoffs. “Would it have been that hard to go somewhere private and do it?!”

He growls. “Ugh, you're impossible!” 

She’s clenching her jaw tightly. It's taking all the restraint she has left to not cuss him out. 

“No you're impossible!” she exclaims. “And a shitty excuse for a brother! I would never do that to you! Never!” Her voice breaks. 

Before he can reply, she hangs up. With an angry growl, she throws her phone across the room. Adrenaline rushes through her as it misses the vanity mirror by an inch. She lets out a long, shaky sigh of relief as it falls to the floor. That was a close one. She'd never forgive herself if she destroyed Nikki's family's property. 

She doesn't even bother to go pick her phone up. She doesn't want to see it if he texts her. With a heavy sigh, she flops back down. There's especially no hope of sleeping now, but she needs to try. She wants to forget everything, even if it's only for the night. Surprisingly, she's asleep within the hour, too mentally exhausted to be awake any longer. 

XXX

As she's pulled back to the waking world, she's able to stop the scream rising in her throat just in time. What comes out instead is a strangled gasp. As memories of her nightmare immediately flash through her mind, holding her tears back is impossible. She buries her face in the pillow as her whole body shudders with gasping sobs. She’s too beside herself with grief and panic to even worry if people can hear her. 

As images of her dream continue cycling through her head, her breathing grows more and more erratic. It’s not just a bad dream. It’s reality, and that fact only makes her cry harder. 

The memory replays in her mind then in its entirety. Her dad lay unmoving on the floor. His eyes were open, but his pupils didn’t move an inch no matter how much she screamed. 

“Dad!” she screamed. “Daddy! Wake up!” 

He didn’t wake up though. He was dead. She knew it, but she wouldn’t admit it, even when the paramedics pried her off of his motionless, cold body. 

XXX

The next day, her eyes are red and puffy. When Nikki questions her, she says that it’s allergies and tries to keep up the charade with an occasional fake cough, but she gets the feeling that nobody believes her, especially not Nikki who knows she only gets allergies in the spring. Nikki sends concerned glances her way all morning, but finally gives up, clearly knowing that Summer won’t tell the truth. 

She pulls Summer into an unexpected hug that night before bed. It’s tight and long, and Summer almost loses it right there. Somehow she stays composed though, even when she goes into her room and is finally alone. She needs her eyes to not be swollen tomorrow. Fortunately, no nightmares come and she gets through the night without shedding a tear. 

XXX
Wednesday December 31st 
10:12 pm

The second Summer, Nikki, and Destiny enter the nightclub, they make a beeline for the bar. The club is absolutely crawling with people, but Summer doesn’t mind. She's never had a problem with crowds. 

At the bar, Destiny immediately orders them shots. 

“I hope you girls like it strong!” she exclaims. 

Summer considers herself a seasoned drinker, but this is the first time she's drank alcohol since she got drunk a couple months ago. Hopefully the taste isn't too startling. 

When she tips her head back and the exclusive vodka Destiny ordered burns her throat, it takes all her effort not to cough. She takes a deep breath and luckily is able to ward off the urge. The last thing she wants is to look like a weakling in front of Destiny. Nikki looks like she's having a hard time not coughing too. 

“Wow that's strong!” Nikki exclaims a moment later. “What is that shit, Destiny?!” 

Destiny winks. “It’s a secret.” 

Nikki rolls her eyes. “You're full of shit!” 

Destiny smiles innocently before ordering another round. This time, Summer doesn't feel as strong of an urge to cough and by the fifth round, she's completely used to the taste. 

Nikki slams her glass down. “Okay, enough shots! Let's go dance, girls!” 

Summer is shocked by how much her head spins when she stands up. Usually it takes a few more rounds than that at least to get her good and drunk, but whatever kind of vodka that was sure did a number on her. As she follows Nikki and Destiny onto the dance floor, her vision clears enough that she can walk relatively well. 

By the time she enters the dance floor and the energetic pop music reverberates through her, the feeling of euphoria that she always feels when clubbing comes over her. As she dances with Nikki and Destiny, all her issues move to the back of her mind and she finally feels like she's completely in the moment. The warmth of the alcohol coursing through her veins and the laughter of her friends lull her into a state of contentment that she hasn't felt in what feels like ages. 

All that joy comes crashing down in a second as she spots across the dance floor one of the last people she wants to see. It's Lizzy, blonde curls swaying as she dances. She's wearing a black minidress that accentuates every one of her voluptuous curves, but Summer feels not the slightest bit of attraction when she looks at her. The girl is dead to her. Since she abandoned her, it's taken all her restraint not to send her a nasty text. Her only reasoning for not doing so is that she already has enough drama going on in her life right now. With the alcohol she's consumed dulling her self-control though, she's consumed by the urge to march across the dance floor and give that bitch a piece of her mind. So that's exactly what she does. 

“Lizzy!” she yells as she walks swiftly towards her. 

Lizzy turns and her eyes widen as she notices Summer. 

“Oh heyyy, Summer!” she exclaims, as Summer comes to stand next to her.

Her voice is slurred. She's clearly deep in her cups and probably will barely remember any of this tomorrow, but Summer doesn't care. She needs to hear what a piece of shit she is. Before she knows it, she's yelling into the open every thought about Lizzy that's been circling through her head over the last month. She points a trembling finger at the girl. 

“How dare you?! You're a real fucking bitch, you know that?! How could you just walk out on me like that?! No call?! No note?!” 

A tall boy with jet black hair that Summer didn't notice before interrupts her. 

“Hey!” he exclaims. “Just who do you think you are?!” 

She's aware at this point of how slurred her words are, but she doesn't care. Lizzy and this jerk of a boyfriend of hers need to be put in their place. She laughs and is only fuzzily aware of how hysterical it sounds. 

“Who do I think I am?!” she yells. “I think I'm the one who held her when she cried everyday for months about her boyfriend dumping her! I think I'm the one who reassured her God knows how many times that she's not fat! I think I'm the one that was her wingwoman on Jesus Christ knows how many dates! I think…” 

She's cut off as Nikki is suddenly in front of her, an angry scowl on her face. 

“Just what do you think you're doing, Summer?!” she exclaims. “Who the hell are these people?!” 

“This is the bitch who fucking used me for sex and booted it out of there the next morning without saying goodbye!” Summer screeches, eyes burning with angry tears. 

“You fucking did what?!” Nikki exclaims, turning to Lizzy and the boy. “What the actual fuck is your problem, girl?! That is not okay!” 

She steps closer and closer to Lizzy until they're face to face. Lizzy's eyes are wide with fear as she stares up at Nikki, who's got to be at least half a foot taller than her. 

“Alright girls, break it up! That's enough!” Destiny yells as she approaches them.

In one swift motion, she grabs Nikki with one arm and Summer with the other and drags them towards the exit. 

The crisp winter night air cools Summer's cheeks slightly, but the rest of her body is still blazing with heat. She feels like she's on fire as she stands there breathing heavily, fists clenched so tightly the skin has turned white. 

“What the fuck was that?!” Destiny exclaims. 

“That bitch fucking walked out on Summer the night after!” Nikki yells, gesturing wildly. 

“That's awful, but it's no excuse to go off like that!” Destiny reprimands. 

Nikki opens her mouth to argue, but stops as Destiny puts her hand up. 

“I'm calling a cab,” says Destiny, voice tight with anger. “You two need to take some deep breaths and calm the fuck down.” 

Summer takes the deepest breaths she can muster, but she can't calm down in the slightest. Anger is still surging through her in heavy waves and the urge to cry is becoming stronger by the second. It's only the tight clenching of her teeth that is holding back the tears stinging her eyes. She crosses her arms and looks down, praying that Nikki and Destiny will leave her alone. Thankfully they do. 

XXX

The first thing she does when they arrive home is go to the bedroom she's staying in. She lies in bed and stares at the wall, using every bit of her willpower to keep the tears burning her eyes at bay. 

She's not sure how long it's been when there's a gentle knock on the door. 

“Summer?” Nikki calls, voice soft. “Can I come in?” 

Summer squeezes her eyes shut as dread grows heavy in her chest. 

“Fuck!” she hisses. 

She knows there's no getting Nikki to go away. Not after the shit she pulled at the club. There's a moment of silence before Nikki sighs heavily and speaks again. 

“Okay, I'm coming in,” she says. “I'm worried about you.” 

After walking in and shutting the door behind her, she stands there for a moment, just looking at Summer. Summer turns around to lie the other way. Nikki sighs softly. 

“Summer,” she murmurs, voice softer than Summer has ever heard it. 

Her sympathetic tone only makes the tears building behind Summer's eyes increase in pressure. She stiffens as footsteps come nearer. The mattress sinks slightly as Nikki sits down and she scoots further away. If her friend touches her, she knows she'll lose it. Just when she's opening her mouth to tell Nikki not to touch her, the girl places her hand on her back feather light and the tears instantly drip from her eyes. Fuck. This could not get worse. Usually she can stay strong in front of other people, but she's drunk and overwhelmed and sad. So incredibly sad. When Nikki begins to stroke her back, the battle is lost. Summer can't help but let out a sob. Before she knows it, Nikki is pulling her across the bed and situating her so that her head is in her lap. 

“Shhh,” Nikki soothes. 

As she starts running her fingers through her hair, the tears come faster and her sobs increase in intensity. Her cheeks burn with humiliation, but she can't stop. 

“It's okay,” Nikki whispers. “I’m here. Can you tell me what's going on? I'm really worried.” 

And then Summer is telling her everything that's happened over the last month. Being kicked out of her own home, Blaine not doing anything to help, and the entire situation with Lizzy. She feels surprisingly lighter when everything is out in the open, but she still can't seem to calm down. No matter how deeply she tries to breathe, the tears keep coming. It takes Nikki a minute to answer. When she finally speaks, her voice is so gentle and loving and it only makes Summer cry harder for some reason. 

“I'm so sorry,” Nikki murmurs. “You don't deserve that.” 

She doesn't say anything more. She just strokes her hair until she finally cries herself to sleep. 

XXX
Thursday January 1st 
10:08 am

When Summer opens her aching eyes the next morning, the first thing she registers is the warm body beside her. Her eyes snap open and as her eyes land on Nikki who's sleeping next to her, she gasps as everything from last night comes flooding back into her mind. The confrontation with Lizzy. Crying into Nikki’s lap. She's never felt more humiliated. She's also never felt more nauseous. She jumps out of bed and is able to make it to the trash can in the corner of the room just in time. She drops to her knees beside it before emptying the contents of her stomach. 

Nikki is at her side a moment later, pulling back her hair and rubbing her back. Summer pukes for what feels like forever. She groans as her stomach spasms. 

When her heaves finally slow and she slowly gets to her feet, Nikki lets go of her hair before standing up too.

“You good?” she asks, her voice soft. 

Summer slowly nods. Her cheeks are blazing. She didn't know it was possible to feel this embarrassed. 

“Hey,” Nikki says gently. “I know that you're going to be awkward around me the rest of the day, but I want you to know that I love you, okay?”

Summer suddenly feels like she's going to cry all over again. She takes a deep breath and the urge begins to fade. A moment later, when she feels calm enough to address her friend, she turns around. As their eyes meet and Nikki smiles softly at her, she's never felt more grateful for another person. 

“I love you too,” she murmurs. Suddenly feeling happy enough to joke around she adds, “So much that I'll hold your hair back when you puke next.”

Nikki smirks. “You better.” 

Summer laughs and Nikki joins in. Things are far from solved, but for the first time in a long time Summer feels like everything might just turn out okay.

Chapter Text

Saturday December 19th 

The plane ride home is as terrifying as ever. As always, Midge can’t help but cry and panic, but Barbie holds her all the while. 

Four tortuous hours later when they finally touch down in Milwaukee, Midge’s heart is still pounding, but she manages to turn to her friends and smile. 

“Thank you, guys,” she murmurs. “For being there for me. I know I’m a real pain on planes.” 

Barbie pulls her into a tight side hug. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she assures her. “We all have fears. You’ve seen how I am around bees.” 

Midge snorts, as she always does when she thinks about the time when they were thirteen that they were at the lake in Willows and Barbie was chased by a swarm of bees. She just barely avoided them by jumping into the water. Midge and Ken had laughed and Barbie hadn’t spoken to them for the rest of the day. She’s been terrified of bees ever since. 

“Hey!” Barbie exclaims, releasing Midge from the embrace. “I know what you’re thinking about and that wasn’t funny! I could’ve been seriously injured!” 

Midge laughs and Ken joins in. 

Barbie pouts. “You guys are mean.” 

Midge wraps an arm around her shoulders. “You know you love us.” 

Barbie rolls her eyes, but she isn’t able to stop a grin from forming on her face. 

“Are we going to leave this plane or what?” Ken asks a moment later. “I don’t know about you, but I’d really like to get to the Roberts house and have a nice dinner.”

Midge quickly stands up. “Yes please!”

XXX

After a lovely dinner prepared by Margaret and George (Stacie listened and didn’t cook this time) and several rounds of Mario Kart, George takes Midge home. As they pull into the apartment parking lot, he gives her a gentle smile. 

“Bye, hon. See you soon. We’re still on for mini golfing the day after tomorrow, right?” 

Midge grins. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

XXX

As Midge approaches her apartment door, dread fills her. She hates that her mom makes her feel this way, but there isn’t anything to do about it. She’s learned over the last eight years that all she can do is move forward and try not to look back. She’s nailed the moving forward part, but not looking back? That’s unfortunately easier said than done. 

Her heart pounds as she unlocks the door with her key. She never knows what state her mom is going to be in and that terrifies her. A small part of her always thinks that when she walks in the woman is going to be dead, killed by her own hand with too many pills or too much alcohol. She tries to tell herself that this is unrealistic. Her mom is depressed but not that depressed. Plus, she’s been sober for three years now. Still, she can’t know what’s going to happen for sure. The woman is a closed book. 

“Stop thinking, Midge,” she hisses, before opening the door and walking in. 

When she steps in and the living room is empty, her stomach drops. A wave of panic bursts through her.

“Mom!” she calls. 

When there’s no answer, she races into the woman’s bedroom. Her mom is lying in bed under the covers. 

“Mom!” she yells. 

When the woman’s eyes blink open, tears of relief fill Midge's eyes. She quickly blinks them back. She lets out a long, shaky breath. 

“Oh hello, Midge,” her mom murmurs, voice heavy with exhaustion. 

She slowly sits up. Heart still thumping wildly, Midge gets into bed and sits next to her before pulling her into a tight embrace. 

“Hi, Mom,” she says, voice trembling slightly. 

When they pull back a moment later, the woman frowns. 

“Are you okay, dear?” she murmurs. “You look upset.” 

She reaches out, running a hand through Midge’s hair. Midge’s muscles relax at the familiar touch. 

“I’m fine,” she says softly. “Just happy to see you.” 

Her mom doesn’t look convinced that she’s okay, but fortunately she doesn’t question her. They spend about ten minutes then discussing how school and work have been going for Midge. Midge is surprised by the lack of judgemental comments. Her mom must be genuinely concerned about her. 

When they fall into an awkward silence, Midge suggests watching a show. They settle on the couch and her mom turns on Friends. Some of the jokes may be outdated, but it’s a show Midge can always relax to. She tries to pay attention, but all she can think about is the fact that it’s only seven in the evening and her mom was in bed. Did she go to bed early…or was she in bed all day?

After four episodes, her mom says she’s going to go to bed and Midge tries to ignore how her heart sinks. The woman kisses her forehead before heading off to her room. Midge continues watching Friends, but her eyes soon start growing heavy. She’s exhausted from the flight and her interactions with her mom. She ends up falling asleep on the couch just after nine. 

XXX
Sunday December 20th
7:13 am

When Midge wakes up the next morning, as usual the first thing she does is check her phone. Her eyes widen as she realizes she slept for ten hours. She never sleeps that much. It takes her almost half an hour to get off the couch. The excess amount of sleep has made her groggy. 

Even showering does little to energize her. Still, no matter how tired she is, she prepares a breakfast of fried eggs, bacon, and toast for her and her mom. 

By the time she’s done cooking, it’s past 8:30 and she figures it’s fine to wake her mom up. 

“Mom,” she murmurs, as she gently shakes the woman’s shoulder. 

Her mom’s eyes slowly open. 

“I made baconnn,” Midge says, voice all sing song. “Your favorite.” 

She expects that to get a smile out of the woman, but her face remains blank. 

“Thank you, dear,” she murmurs. “I’ll be out in a minute.” 

Midge grins. “Alright. See you then.” 

She doesn’t come out in a minute. It’s nearly nine by the time she enters the kitchen. Midge is sitting at the table, trying not to feel sad about the fact that the food won’t be as fresh now. Still, despite the disappointment tugging at her chest, she plasters a smile on her face. 

“Hi, Mom!” she exclaims. 

“Hi, dear,” her mom murmurs, before taking a seat at the table. 

After microwaving the plates of food, Midge brings them over to the table. 

“Thank you, hon,” her mom says softly, as Midge sets the plate in front of her. 

“Of course!” Midge exclaims. 

As they begin to eat, Midge is surprised by the sudden wave of anger that surges through her as she glances at her mom. She’s not complimenting the food. She took half an hour to come out. She promised her that they’d celebrate Christmas together as a family and she let her down. Midge accidentally stabs a piece of egg with unnecessary force and the fork clangs against the plate. 

“Is everything okay, dear?” her mom asks, eyebrow raised. 

Midge clears her throat, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. 

“Yeah,” she murmurs. “Of course. Everything is fine.” 

XXX
Tuesday December 22nd
6:36 pm

Midge tries to relax and enjoy the soothing sensation of the jacuzzi jets massaging her back, but all she can think about is everything her mom has done to anger her since she canceled their Christmas plans. She tries to listen to Barbie and Ken’s casual conversation, but her mind is spinning furiously. 

“Are you okay, Midge? Is the water too hot?” 

Midge blinks as she’s pulled back to the present by Barbie’s gentle voice. 

“O-Of course I’m fine,” she stutters. “The water’s good.”

There’s a moment of silence. It’s too dark outside to see Barbie and Ken’s expressions, but Midge imagines they’re filled with concern and confusion. 

“Are you sure everything is okay?” Ken asks, his voice soft and hesitant. “Is-Is it your mom?” 

Midge squeezes her eyes shut. Of course her friends caught on right away. She can’t keep anything from these two. The three of them know each other too well to hide anything from each other. She sighs heavily. She doesn’t want to ruin the mood. They’re meant to be talking casually and laughing. That’s what they always do in Barbie’s family’s jacuzzi. Before she knows it though, the words are creeping up her throat and suddenly she’s rambling about everything on her mind. Not only does she rehash the canceled Christmas situation, but she spills out everything her mom has done to infuriate her over the last few days. 

As her rant stumbles to an end, there’s a moment of silence. Then Barbie is crossing the jacuzzi towards her. The girl sighs gently as she takes a seat next to Midge. Midge relaxes slightly as her friend wraps her arm around her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Barbie murmurs. “None of that is fair. You deserve so much better.” 

Midge’s eyes suddenly sting. She clenches her jaw tightly. She is not going to cry right now. She is not going to ruin their evening together. Thank God it’s too dark for them to see her expression. She takes a moment to compose herself before answering. 

“It’s okay,” she says softly. “She’s just somebody I have to do my best to put up with. At least I have you guys.” 

Barbie squeezes her. “Of course you do.” 

Ken crosses the jacuzzi and sits down on her other side. He slings his arm over her shoulders. 

“You’ll always have us,” he says, his voice soft. 

Her eyes burn again, but this time with tears of gratitude. 

“I love you guys,” she murmurs. 

Barbie and Ken squeeze her tighter. 

“We love you too!” they exclaim. 

XXX
Wednesday December 23rd 
7:04 pm

Midge tries not to let frustration consume her as she walks into her mom’s bedroom. The woman is lying in bed as usual, scrolling through her phone. She hasn’t gotten up all day. 

“Hey, Mom,” she says, trying with all her might to keep her voice casual. “Weren’t we going to leave to go see the Christmas lights a bit ago? We’re still going, right?” 

Her mom sighs deeply. 

“I don’t think so, dear,” she murmurs. “I’m really tired.” 

Midge’s fists clench as anger floods every inch of her body. Not only has the woman canceled their Christmas plans, she’s now going to refuse to take part in Midge’s favorite Christmas tradition. She knows this is Midge’s favorite tradition and she’s still going to let her down again. She knows logically that saying something snappish will make things even worse, but she’s so filled with rage that she doesn’t even care. 

“Of course you are,” she mumbles. 

Her mom immediately sits up. She turns to Midge who is still standing in the doorway, an angry scowl on her face. 

“What did you just say?” she says lowly, voice trembling with anger. 

Midge raises her chin, blinking back tears. “You heard me.” 

Her mom’s eyes widen. She sputters incoherently for a moment before finding her voice. 

“You’re being such a brat!” she exclaims. “I can’t believe you’re so ungrateful! What’s come over you?!”

Midge’s fury has reached a velocity that there’s no coming back from. At this point, she doesn’t care what damage she causes. 

“What am I supposed to be grateful for exactly?!” she shrieks, voice shaking. “The fact that you did nothing to take care of me when I was still a child, that you just drank your weight in alcohol and cried?! The fact that you back out on any chance to spend time with me?! The fact that you canceled our family Christmas with Dad?! My hopes were so high! So high!” 

Her voice breaks. Tears are streaming down her cheeks. Her mom is quivering with rage. 

“You shut up right now!” the woman yells, pointing a trembling finger at Midge. “Your fucking father cheated on me! He left me for another woman! You know this and you don’t care!” 

“Don’t care?!” Midge screams. “All those times I’ve held you while you cried, cooked meals for you and made you eat so you wouldn’t waste away, contacted your therapists and psychiatrists and doctors when you wouldn’t! That’s not caring?!” 

Her mom has no answer to that. She just continues to tremble. Tears are dripping from the woman’s eyes now. The fact gives Midge a strange sense of satisfaction. There’s nothing left to say. Midge has gotten her point across and now all she wants to do is cry in the arms of somebody she trusts. Luckily, Ken’s house is only a mile away. 

XXX

The second Ken opens the door, Midge falls forward into his arms. She cried the whole walk here and her sobs only grow more hysterical when she sees him. He embraces her tightly. 

“What happened?!” he exclaims. “Are you hurt?!” 

All she can do is shake her head. She’s too beside herself to speak. 

“Come on,” he murmurs. “Let’s go sit on the couch. Everything is going to be okay.”

As they slowly make their way over to the couch, he keeps an arm wrapped around her shoulders. With his other hand, it looks like he’s texting somebody. Probably Barbie. 

When they sit down on the couch, he immediately pulls her into his arms. She sobs heavily against his shoulder. Her breath is coming in short gasps. Her heart is pounding furiously. 

“Shhh,” he whispers. “Breathe. It’s going to be alright.” 

She tries to listen and take deep breaths, but it’s not easy. Even Ken’s hand gently rubbing her back does little to soothe her.

She’s not sure how long it is before she hears the door open and close and suddenly Barbie is on the couch next to her. 

“Oh sweetheart,” she coos, before joining the embrace. 

Wrapped securely in her friends’ arms, Midge allows herself to fully break down. 

After her sobs calm and only hiccups and sniffles remain, Ken makes her a cup of tea. Thank God his family is out shopping right now. The last thing she needs is more people worrying over her. Barbie keeps an arm around her shoulders and they sit in comfortable silence. When Ken returns with the tea, he hands it to her before sitting back down on her other side. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs, before taking a shaky sip. 

Barbie and Ken don’t question her. They just stay quiet and let her process her thoughts. They clearly know she’ll open up to them eventually. And that’s exactly what happens. A few minutes later, she can’t keep it in any longer. 

“M-My mom and I fought,” she admits, her voice shaking. “I-It was bad.” 

She tells them the whole story between heaving breaths and by the end she’s no longer sad. She’s enraged. 

“I-I just can’t believe her!” she exclaims. “Sh-She’s just such a… jerk!”

Her eyes widen. She’s never called her mom a name before. She’s too angry to feel ashamed though. She turns to her friends, expecting them to look shocked, but their sympathetic expressions haven’t faded. 

“I’m so sorry,” Barbie murmurs, reaching out to run her hand through her hair.

Midge relaxes at her friend’s comforting touch. 

“What she did is not okay,” Barbie continues. “You did the right thing standing up for yourself. You do not deserve to be treated like that.” 

Her voice trembles with anger. An unusually dark look is in her eyes. Barbie never gets this mad. Midge nods, her eyes widening slightly. 

“Thank you, guys,” she murmurs.

“Of course,” Barbie says softly, no longer noticeably angry. “And you’re welcome to stay with me.” 

Midge sighs. “I might just have to take you up on that offer.” 

XXX
9:22 pm

"Sweetie, can we talk to you?" Margaret asks, her voice soft. 

Midge looks up as Margaret and George enter Barbie's bedroom. She's sitting with Barbie on the bed watching The Sound of Music, one of her top comfort movies. Barbie pauses the movie as her parents sit down on the bed. There's a moment of silence. Midge looks down, tracing her finger over the pink bedsheet. 

"Yes," she murmurs. 

There's another moment of silence. The last thing she wants to do is talk about this again, but she can feel Margaret and George's eyes on her and she knows she owes them an explanation. 

"My mom and I argued," she mutters. 

As she looks up and sees their sympathetic expressions, she suddenly bursts into tears and the story comes spilling out. Barbie gently rubs her back, George places his hand on her shoulder, and Margaret holds her hand. When her story stumbles to an end, she lets out a long, shaky breath before speaking again. 

"I-I haven't blown up on h-her since I was f-fourteen. This f-feels so strange a-and wrong. I-I don't know i-if she'll ever f-forgive me." 

She chokes out a sob. Margaret squeezes her hand. 

"Of course she will, sweetie," the woman murmurs. "And you can stay with us as long as you need to. Has she contacted you?" 

Midge sniffs. "Yeah. She texted to ask if I'm okay."

"Did you respond?" Margaret asks softly. 

Midge nods. The ache in her chest grows even sharper at the thought that her mom didn't even bother to call. As she bursts into sobs again, Margaret pulls her into a tight embrace. 

"It's okay, sweetie," she murmurs. "It's okay. We're here for you. Anything you need, we can do for you. A place to stay, therapy, comfort. All of that we can provide you with." 

Midge has never felt more gratitude than she does in this moment. 

"Th-Thank you," she sobs. "Th-Thank you so m-much."

Margaret gently kisses the top of her head. "Of course, sweetie. Of course."

XXX
Thursday December 24th 
8:16 pm

Midge and Barbie are standing in the kitchen talking when Chelsea and Stacie run in.

“I want to put out the cookies and milk for Santa!” Chelsea exclaims, darting in front of Stacie. 

“Mom said we have to share!” Stacie insists. “I put out the cookies and you put out the milk!” 

Chelsea crosses her arms. “I want to do the cookies.” 

“Come on, girls,” Barbie says, ever the peacemaker. “How about you both choose a cookie for him and Skipper can get the milk?” 

Skipper, who’s standing on the other side of the kitchen island, rolls her eyes. “You really think I want to set out milk for Santa? You do know I’m in high school, right?”

Barbie scoffs lightly. “You’re never too old for that. If you really don’t want to though, I’ll do it.” 

Skipper motions towards the refrigerator. “Knock yourself out.” 

Midge and Barbie chuckle. As Barbie prepares a glass of milk, Midge watches Chelsea and Stacie debating which cookies from the tray to set out. The family, including Midge and Ken, baked and decorated cookies today. As the girls decide on cookies and put them on a plate, Midge tries not to think about how she used to do the exact same thing with her mom. 

XXX
Friday December 25th
7:42 am

Midge is shaken awake by Chelsea. She blinks her eyes open and quickly closes them again as they’re stung by the sunlight filtering through the window. 

“Santa came!” Chelsea exclaims. “Santa came!” 

Midge’s eyes snap open again as the girl jumps onto the bed and starts bouncing. Barbie, who’s lying next to her, sits up.

“Chelsea, no jumping on the bed,” she chides. 

All of a sudden, Stacie runs into the room, lunges onto the bed, and joins in on the bouncing. 

“Stacie!” Barbie exclaims. “You…”

Stacie cuts her off. “But I’m so excited, Barbie! It’s Christmas!” 

Barbie softens and chuckles lightly. 

“Alright, girls,” she says gently. “Midge and I will be down in a few minutes.”

“Okay!” Stacie exclaims. “Come on, Chelsea!” 

As soon as the girls run out of Barbie’s bedroom, Midge groans. She turns onto her side to face Barbie. 

“What time is it?” she mumbles. 

Barbie grabs her phone from the nightstand and checks. 

“7:44,” she answers. 

Midge groans again. “Too early.” 

She closes her eyes again. Barbie giggles and pokes her side softly. 

“You know Stacie and Chelsea are going to come jump on the bed again if you go back to sleep.”

Midge sighs heavily. “I knowww.” 

Barbie laughs softly. “Come on, Mr. Grinch. Let’s go see what Santa brought us.” 

Midge points at her. “Oh you’ll regret that!” 

Barbie raises an eyebrow challengingly. “Oh will I?”  

Midge quickly sits up. Barbie ducks out of the way just in time to avoid being hit by the pillow Midge chucks at her. 

“Okay okay!” Barbie exclaims, laughing breathlessly. “You’re not a grinch! You’re just a sleepy little gremlin!” 

“That’s worse!” Midge exclaims. 

She picks up another pillow and this time hits Barbie square in the face. Barbie giggles before jumping off the bed. 

“Come and get me, Mr. Grinnnnch!” she exclaims. 

Midge hops out of bed and chases a cackling Barbie out of the room and down the stairs. Midge stumbles to a stop as they enter the living room. Standing in front of the Christmas tree is the most beautiful easel Midge has ever seen. It’s dark brown and is quite possibly the most high-quality one she’s ever seen. Her eyes immediately fill with tears. Barbie turns around to see why she stopped running. Her eyes widen. 

“Are you okay?!” she exclaims, hurrying over to Midge. “Did you twist your ankle or something?” 

She places her hands on Midge’s shoulders. Midge quickly shakes her head and wipes her eyes. 

“I-It’s not that,” she says, her voice shaking. “It’s just…look at what your parents got me.” 

Barbie looks over at the easel before turning back to Midge. 

“Oh the easel? Yeah, they figured you could use a new one.” 

“That’s so sweet,” Midge murmurs, eyes welling with tears again. 

She has a tendency to get emotional when people give her presents, and the events of the last few days have made her especially sensitive. Margaret and George asked her about therapy again yesterday, but Midge said she's okay. She's not sure if that's the truth, but therapy feels like too much right now. Everything feels like too much. 

“Oh did she see the easel?!” Margaret exclaims. 

Midge turns as the rest of Barbie’s family enters the living room. Midge immediately runs over to Margaret and pulls her into a crushing embrace. 

“Thank you so much!” she exclaims, voice trembling. “It means so much!” 

“Of course, sweetheart,” Margaret coos, gently stroking her back. “We love you.” 

“I love you too,” Midge murmurs. 

She pulls back and smiles at everybody in the family. “I love you all.” 

XXX
Saturday December 26th
2:14 pm

Midge, Barbie, and Ken sip their smoothies from Buster’s as they walk along the hiking trail. It’s surrounded by elm, oak, and pine trees. A light layer of snow crunches under their boots. 

“I always forget just how good these smoothies are,” says Ken. “So much better than Fruit Fusion.” 

Midge nods. “Totally. I love Fruit Fusion to death, but Buster’s will always be superior.” 

Barbie laughs softly. “You know just how good it is if you’re drinking it on a walk outside in December.” 

Midge and Ken laugh. 

“True,” Ken says. “It’s not quite smoothie weather. Still, it’s totally worth it.” 

“Totally,” Midge agrees. 

They grow quiet as they ascend the hillside. They’re always out of breath during this climb. When they come to the top though, the view is more than worth it. Emerald green farmland, dotted with trees, houses, and barns, stretches out below them. She can just barely make out the figures of cows grazing in the fields. She breathes in the crisp, pine-scented air and takes in the stunning sight. They stand in silence, just enjoying the beauty of their surroundings. A couple minutes later, Barbie speaks softly.

“I always forget just how wonderful this is.” 

Midge snorts. “Just like the smoothies.” 

Barbie rolls her eyes fondly. “Yes, Midge. Just like the smoothies. 

As Midge gazes at the mesmerizing nature all around her and her friends’ smiling faces, she realizes that she finally feels entirely at peace. 

XXX

That night, for the first time in several days, Midge writes. Barbie, generous as ever, lets her use her laptop and also lets her write in her bedroom. She stays away to give her privacy. Midge assured Barbie that it’s fine if she wants to be in her bedroom too, but Barbie said she knows what a personal experience writing is for Midge and Midge couldn't argue with that. 

“No matter how many tragedies Ingrid faces, she always tries to remember one thing: the world is a beautiful place filled with beautiful people.”

Somehow Midge feels both like smiling and crying when she reads the last sentence of what she wrote aloud. Part of her wants to bask in the knowledge of how blessed she is and the other part wants to scream and cry until her throat is raw.

Chapter Text

"Ingrid wants to shake her mother by the shoulders, scream at her to snap out of it. She's not sure if the woman even loves her anymore. Maybe she never did."

Midge can't even bring herself to read the last section of what she wrote aloud. After closing her laptop and settling under the covers, she drifts into an uneasy sleep. In her dreams, her mom is walking away from her. No matter how fast Midge walks, she can't catch up. 

XXX
Saturday January 23rd 
8:03 pm

As soon as Summer and Nikki step through the door into Midge and Teresa’s dorm, Midge pulls Summer into a tight hug. Summer embraces her back just as tightly. Midge has observed over the last couple weeks that Summer is a lot more comfortable being affectionate with her now. She used to stiffen up when Midge hugged her. Whenever she thinks about how the girl is comfortable with her now, she becomes so happy that she can almost forget her problems for a moment. Almost. 

When they pull back a few seconds later, Midge gives both girls bright smiles. 

“Thanks so much for coming, guys!” she exclaims. “And thank you for the wine! Here, I’ll take those bottles.” 

“Thanks for inviting us,” Nikki replies, passing Midge the bottles. 

Nikki is looking around, clearly wondering where Teresa is. Midge giggles. 

“Teresa’s just getting dressed,” she explains. “She wanted to be fancy tonight.” 

Nikki’s eyes widen and Midge giggles again. Summer grins. Teresa enters the room a second later. The girl is dressed in a frilly peach minidress. She smiles widely as she sees her girlfriend. Midge turns back to Nikki and doesn’t miss the way her eyes glaze over. 

“Nikki!” Teresa squeals. 

She runs forward and Nikki rushes forward to meet her halfway. She scoops Teresa into her arms and twirls her around a few times before setting her down and pulling her into a kiss. The kiss immediately becomes heated. Summer turns to Midge with a smirk. Midge giggles. Summer motions her head towards the kitchen and Midge nods.

As soon as they enter the kitchen, Barbie, Raquelle, Ken, and Ryan look over at them. Barbie and Ken smile brightly. Raquelle has her default sneer. Ryan’s eyes widen as his gaze settles on Summer. Midge struggles not to roll her eyes. Of course he’s going to flirt with Summer. He flirts with any attractive girl he comes across. Midge sets the bottles of wine down on the counter next to the other drinks and appetizers before bringing Summer forward for introductions. 

“Hey, guys!” she exclaims. “This is Summer. Summer, this is Ken, Ryan, and Raquelle.” She points to each of her friends in turn. “And you’ve already met Barbie.” 

“Nice to meet you!” Ken exclaims. 

Summer grins. “Nice to meet you too!” 

Midge turns to Raquelle and Ryan. Raquelle is still sneering and Ryan is staring at Summer with an awestruck expression on his face. 

“Nice to meet you guys,” Summer says awkwardly, giving the twins a wave. 

Raquelle gives a small nod. Ryan wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Nice to meet you too,” he replies, a seductive lilt to his voice. 

Summer raises an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by the twins’ responses. Midge quickly changes the subject. 

“Wanna pick out a game, guys? I’ve got a whole pile there on the table.”

“Sure thing!” Barbie exclaims. 

As everybody walks over to the table, Midge breathes out a sigh of relief. Leave it to Raquelle and Ryan to make things awkward. 

When Nikki and Teresa walk in a moment later, both girls slightly flushed, Midge introduces Nikki to the group. Raquelle still gives her characteristic cold introduction, which Nikki raises an eyebrow at. Despite knowing that she and Teresa are together, Ryan still flirts with her. As a scowl forms on Nikki’s face, Midge quickly intervenes. She motions to the table. 

“We’ve got Exploding Kittens, Pictionary, Yahtzee, Most Likely To, Apples to Apples, Cards Against Humanity, and Clue!” 

She and Teresa had invested in a few new games for this event. After grabbing drinks and appetizers, they all sit down at the table and a spirited debate begins. Midge just scrolls through Instagram, not wanting to get involved. Despite the chaos, she’s glad they’re finally doing this. She’s wanted Summer to become acquainted with all her friends for a while now.

The group finally decides on Cards Against Humanity. It’s too raunchy for Midge’s tastes, but she’d figured her friends would like it. She was right. They laugh non-stop. The game goes by reasonably well. Raquelle is infamous for not participating in games, but she puts in some effort. Undoubtedly she’s just doing it for Barbie. Ryan tones down the flirting, actually getting the message that Summer and Nikki aren’t girls he’ll be able to seduce. Summer is able to rein in her competitiveness for the most part, her frustration only showing through facial expressions. Barbie ends up winning. Summer and Nikki are shocked, no doubt having pegged her as vanilla. Barbie may not be the most dirty-minded person out there, but it’s rare that she doesn't win a game. The only person who can hold their own against her in games is Chelsea.

After three rounds of Cards Against Humanity, people begin to leave. When Summer and Nikki are the only guests left, Nikki and Teresa go off to Teresa’s room, undoubtedly for a makeout session. As Midge and Summer walk over to the couch, Summer begins talking. 

“What was with that Raquelle girl?” she asks, eyebrow raised. “She kept scowling all night. And that Ryan boy? Is it not obvious that me and Nikki are lesbians?”

Midge snorts. “That’s just the way they are. Raquelle is nicer once you get to know her, but she never really stops being snarky.”

Summer laughs. As they settle on the couch, she starts talking enthusiastically about how pumped she is for the first basketball game of the season next Saturday. As she speaks, gesturing wildly, Midge notes that the circles under her eyes aren’t too dark. She appears to be in good spirits too. The girl was closed off when Midge asked her about how her winter break went, clearly lying about it being good, but she seems okay at least. Midge just wants her to be alright. Even if she herself can’t be, she wants her friends to be. She doesn’t want the people she loves to have to go through the kind of heartache she does. The thing is, with Summer she can’t tell. The girl is a closed book. Midge just hopes that someday she can see inside. 

Midge is pulled from her thoughts by Summer gently tapping her shoulder. 

“Wh-What?” she stutters. 

“You good?” Summer asks, a concerned expression on her face. “I said your name a ton of times.” 

“Y-Yeah, of course,” Midge replies. “Just tired.” 

Summer frowns sympathetically. 

“Me and Nikki can go,” she says. “I don’t want to keep you up.” 

Midge quickly shakes her head. “No, don’t go!” 

Summer’s eyes widen. Midge’s cheeks flush. Why did she sound so desperate? She clears her throat, quickly trying to save face. 

“I-I mean, you can go if you’d like,” she says. “Just…you don’t have to.” 

Summer nods. 

“I’ll stay,” she says softly. 

Midge isn’t sure why she feels so relieved. They sit in awkward silence for a moment, and just when Midge is starting to feel unbearably antsy, Summer speaks. 

“So I saw this flyer in the writing center about an essay contest. Winner wins a thousand dollars. Were you thinking of entering?” 

Midge bites her lip. “I mean, I did consider it, but I couldn't win.” 

Summer frowns. “Why not? You’re an amazing writer. I read that essay of yours that you showed me. It was amazing! Don’t sell yourself short!” 

Midge blushes. She looks down, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. 

“Maybe I’ll enter,” she says quietly. “But I’m still not convinced I’ll win.” 

“Well, even if you don’t, at least you tried, right?” Summer says, her voice soft. “All you can do is try your best. I have faith in you.” 

Midge flushes deeper. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. “That’s sweet.” 

Summer gently bumps her shoulder. “I’m only telling the truth.” 

XXX
Friday January 29th 
6:17 pm

“So, Keaton is still leaving you alone?” 

Midge looks up from the macrame plant hanger she’s making as Teresa speaks. The girl is sitting across the kitchen table from her, also making a plant hanger. 

“Yeah,” she replies. “He doesn’t even look at me. Thank God. He knows I’d rain hell on him if he bothered me again.” 

Teresa scoffs. “You bet you would! You’re a total boss!” 

Midge grins. “Thank you. So are you!” 

Teresa giggles. “I’ll take it.” 

They sit in comfortable silence for a moment before Midge remembers something she was going to ask earlier. 

“How are things going with you and Nikki?” 

When Teresa doesn’t immediately answer, Midge looks up. She gasps as she sees the tears welling in the girl’s eyes. She quickly jumps up and hurries over to her. She sits down in the chair next to her before pulling her friend into her arms. 

“What happened?” she asks softly, chest heavy with concern. 

“Nothing,” Teresa replies. “I’m just thinking about how much I love her. It makes me emotional.” She lets out a breathless laugh. 

A wave of relief rushes through Midge. Then suddenly her eyes widen as she takes in what Teresa said. 

“You love her?” she asks, not able to keep the shock out of her voice. 

“So much,” Teresa murmurs. “I know we’ve only been together for a couple months, but Midge…” She pulls back to look at her. “I’m so gone for her. I’d do anything for her. Anything.” 

Midge squeals as her surprise gives way to excitement. 

“Ahh that’s so sweet!” she exclaims. “You should tell her!” 

Teresa frowns doubtfully, chewing her lip. “You think she loves me too?” 

Midge scoffs. “Of course she does! She’s crazy about you! Anybody can see that!”

She tucks a stray lock of hair behind Teresa’s ear. As a wide grin forms on the girl’s face, Midge smiles just as brightly. 

“Okay, I’ll tell her!” she exclaims. “I’ll tell her on our date tonight!” 

Midge squeals again as she pulls Teresa back into her arms. 

“I’m so happy for you,” she murmurs. 

Teresa giggles. “Thanks. I’m happy for me too.” 

XXX
Saturday January 30th 
9:57 am

As Midge sits in the gym bleachers, waiting for Summer’s basketball game to begin, she can’t help but look at her text to her mom again. She sent it last night on a whim and the woman left her on read. 

[Midge 8:49 pm] I love you, Mom. 

Midge takes a deep breath, doing her best to ignore the tears stinging her eyes. She already did enough crying last night. Plus, this morning is about supporting Summer, not lamenting her sad life. She can do that later. To try to cheer herself up, she looks at another text from last night. 

[Teresa 8:14 pm] She said she loves me too!!! 😄💖

Thinking of her friend’s joy brings a small smile to Midge’s face. Still, the ache that weighs heavily on her chest day and night remains.

As the game begins a few minutes later, Midge determinedly watches Summer, ignoring the urge to check her phone, to see if maybe her mom came to her senses and replied. She knows her hopes will continue to be dashed, but she can’t help continuing to check. She can’t help wanting to be loved. 

Her attention continues to be split between the game and thoughts of the text. She can tell that Summer is doing absolutely amazingly as usual, but that’s about all she can register. It’s not until something entirely unexpected happens that thoughts of her mom’s betrayal are shoved to the back of her mind. A girl, several inches taller and much more buff, crashes into Summer. Summer is knocked to the ground. The crowd gasps. Summer tries to get up but can’t. Her teammates surround her. One of her teammates helps her up and wraps an arm around her shoulders, supporting her as she limps off the court. The audience applauds. Midge takes a deep breath as her heart rate skyrockets. There’s no need to panic. It’s probably just an ankle or foot injury. Still, it takes every bit of her resolve to not track Summer down and make sure she’s okay. Unable to stop herself, she texts her. 

[Midge 10:34 am] Are you okay? 💕

Her heartbeat doesn’t slow as she awaits a reply. The game has resumed, but she isn’t paying any attention. It’s silly to get this worked up. It’s clearly not a bad injury. Still, when she gets the notification a few minutes later that Summer has texted back, relief floods her entire body. She quickly clicks on the notification. 

[Summer 10:37 am] Yeah Im ok. Coach thinks my ankle is sprained. Theyre taking me to the doctor. Ugh this sucks i probably wont be able to play for like 2 or 3 weeks 🙁

Midge frowns sympathetically. She quickly texts back. 

[Midge 10:38 am] I’m so sorry. I hope you feel better soon. I’ll come by your dorm later. Let me know if there’s anything you need. 💗

[Summer 10:38 am] Thank u see u later 💓

Midge smiles softly. Her heartbeat has resumed its normal pace. She’s not sure why she panicked so much. She sighs before going back to watching the game. Even if Summer isn’t in it anymore, it’s at least something to distract herself with. She wishes at least one of her friends were here, but they’re all busy again. They can only come with her to games occasionally. As much as she tries to will herself not to, she looks at her text to her mom three more times. Every time the tears in her eyes burn hotter. 

XXX
2:04 pm

“Hey, Nikki!” Midge exclaims, as the girl answers the door. 

“Hey, girl,” Nikki replies, smiling brightly. 

She opens the door wider to let Midge in. As Midge walks further into Nikki and Summer’s dorm, she immediately spots Summer who’s sitting on the couch. Crutches are leaning against the wall by her. Her leg is propped on the coffee table. An ice pack is covering her foot. She pauses the show she’s watching before waving at Midge.

“Hey, Midge!” 

Midge waves back. “Hey, Summer!” 

“So I’m going to get going,” says Nikki. “Teresa and I are hanging out.” She turns to Midge and winks. “I know you’ll take good care of Summer.”

Midge grins. “I certainly will.” 

Nikki chuckles. “Okay. Bye, guys!” 

She grabs her purse from the hook by the door before leaving. Midge crosses the room and carefully takes a seat next to Summer, doing her best not to jostle the couch. She turns to her friend with a sympathetic frown. 

“How are you doing?” she asks, her voice soft. “Does it hurt a lot?” 

Summer shakes her head. “At first yeah, but I took some Advil and am icing it and it feels a lot better now.” 

Midge smiles softly. “That’s good. I’m really sorry this happened.” 

Summer sighs. “Thanks. It just sucks that this happened at the first game of the season. The doctor says I can’t resume playing for at least three weeks. This sucks.” She groans.

Midge places her hand on her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs. 

Summer smiles gently. “It’s alright. Thanks for the sympathy, but I’ll be fine. I’ve dealt with way worse.” 

Midge gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze before putting her hand back in her lap. 

“So what are you watching?” she asks, turning to the TV. 

Summer chuckles. “South Park. I imagine you wouldn’t like it. Lots of very rude humor.” 

Midge giggles. “You’re probably right, but I don’t mind if you want to watch it. I can handle it.” 

“You sure?” Summer asks, eyebrow raised. “I can turn something else on.” 

Midge nods. “I’m sure.” 

Summer shrugs. “Okay then.” 

She resumes the show. Midge is silent as they watch it. She can tell that Summer is worn out and probably doesn’t want to talk much. She only partially pays attention as her mind stays stubbornly fixated on the situation with her mom. 

She’s not sure how long it’s been when she notices Summer’s ice pack dripping. 

“Do you need a new ice pack?” she asks. 

Summer smiles sheepishly. It’s clear she doesn’t like being taken care of, but Midge is certainly going to. 

“Yeah, that might be good,” Summer admits. “Also, if it’s not too much trouble would you mind grabbing the Advil off the counter? I forgot to bring it in here.”

“Of course,” Midge says gently. “I’ll refill your cup of water too.”

“Thanks,” Summer murmurs. “I appreciate it.” 

“No problem.” 

Summer hands Midge her ice pack and empty glass. Midge walks off to the kitchen. 

After gathering the supplies, she goes back to the living room. Gently she places the ice pack on Summer’s foot. She frowns sympathetically at her ankle’s red, swollen appearance. She hands the girl her glass of water and the bottle of Advil then. 

“Thank you,” says Summer, the gratitude evident in her voice. 

“Of course,” Midge murmurs, before sitting back down next to her friend. 

After taking the Advil, Summer rests her head against the cushion and they resume watching South Park. As the show plays on, Midge gradually loses focus until all she can think about is the unanswered text. She’s so lost in thought that she doesn’t notice Summer is trying to get her attention until the girl softly taps her shoulder. 

She blinks as she comes out of her stupor. “H-Huh?” 

Summer is gazing at her, eyes wide with concern. 

“You okay?” she murmurs. “You look kind of…upset.” 

Midge bites her lip as her eyes sting. She desperately wishes she could brush Summer’s concerns off, but just like that day in the writing center, the girl’s sympathetic expression is wearing away at her resolve. As her eyes well with tears, she quickly wipes them away with her sleeve. Summer notices though. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Summer stutters. “Are-Are you okay? Ugh that’s a stupid question. Of course you aren’t. What I mean is…do you want to tell me what’s wrong? I want to help you.” 

Midge’s lip trembles as she slowly turns to look at her friend. Summer’s voice and expression are so earnest and sweet, and this situation is weighing on Midge so heavily. Suddenly, not telling somebody, not being able to share her pain with a single soul, feels unbearable. She takes a deep, shaky breath. 

“I-If you’re going to completely understand, I-I’ll have to start at the beginning I guess.” 

Summer’s hand rests on her shoulder, warm and reassuring. 

“You don’t have to,” she murmurs. “I understand if you…”

“No, I want to,” says Midge. 

Summer nods. 

“Okay,” she says quietly. “I’ll listen.” 

Midge takes a moment to gather her composure, taking several deep breaths, before beginning her story. 

“So, as I told you my parents are divorced. As a kid, my parents argued all the time. I just did my best to ignore it and pretend that we were a happy family, but that ended up being in vain because when I was thirteen, my dad…he...” 

She has to take another moment to compose herself. 

“Not to make it about me,” Summer says softly, “but my parents are divorced too. It’s hard. I know.” 

She moves her hand to Midge’s back where she gently strokes her hand in circular motions. Midge’s muscles relax at the soothing sensation. 

“I’m sorry that happened,” she murmurs, giving Summer a small, sympathetic smile. 

Summer returns the sympathetic smile. “Thanks. I’m sorry too.” 

Midge takes a deep, trembling breath, focusing on the security of Summer’s hand on her back. It gives her the strength to continue. 

“Well, when I was thirteen my dad cheated on my mom and left to live with another woman. I barely ever saw him after that and I still rarely do.” She laughs humorlessly. “He’s a real jerk.” 

After taking another deep breath, she continues. “Well, after that my mom got super depressed. She never got out of bed and she became an alcoholic. It’s like she was a whole new person. I thought she was going to kill herself and I still do worry about that sometimes.” 

She lets out a trembling breath, willing the tears in her eyes back. She needs to finish this story without breaking down. 

“Thankfully, Barbie and Ken and their families were always there for me. I stayed with Barbie’s family most of the time. I know her parents considered calling CPS, but they never did because they knew how much worse it would end up making things for me. They did everything they could to support me and they still do. They got me in therapy and I did it for years. It helped a lot. But the reason I’m upset right now is…” 

She squeezes her eyes shut as tears flood her eyes and a sob builds in her throat. 

“It’s okay,” Summer whispers. 

Holding onto the feeling of safety that her friend’s voice fills her with, Midge finishes her story. Between sobs, she tells the girl everything that happened over winter break. When she arrives at her explanation of the text she sent and the lack of a response, she can barely get the words out. Summer leans in closer, putting her arm around her shoulders, and that gives her the strength to finish her story. As soon as her words stumble to a stop, her sobs intensify. Summer wraps her other arm around her as well, enveloping her in a tight embrace. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Midge sobs. 

Summer’s injured and here she is making it all about herself. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Summer murmurs. “Just let it out. I’m so sorry that all happened to you. You deserve so much better than that.” 

Midge takes deep, gasping breaths, trying to calm down, but to no avail. Summer’s hand gently rubbing her back reassures her that she’s not alone, that she’s cared for and supported, but the tears keep coming. 

“I-I’m sorry. Y-You're the one who's h-hurt and here I-I am bawling when I'm s-supposed to be t-taking care of you.” 

“You are taking care of me,” Summer murmurs. “You deserve to be taken care of too though. You’re going through a rough time and I want to be there for you.” 

“Th-Thank you.” 

Summer squeezes her tighter. “No need to thank me.” 

When Midge finally calms and only hiccups and sniffles remain, she stays in Summer’s arms for several more minutes. Summer doesn’t say a word. She just holds her close. When she finally pulls back, Summer reaches out like she’s going to wipe her tears away but quickly retracts her hand, settling it back by her side. They sit in awkward silence for a moment before Midge finally speaks. 

“I-I’m going to go clean u-up,” she croaks. 

“Okay,” Summer whispers.

XXX

When Midge returns from the bathroom a few minutes later and sits back down next to Summer, the girl turns to her with a soft smile. 

“You’re picking the movie. Anything you want, we’ll watch.” 

Midge is surprised by how genuine the smile that forms on her face is. She thinks for a moment before deciding on a movie that she’s guessing Summer will like too. 

“How about Mean Girls?” she suggests. 

Summer grins. “Sounds great!” 

Midge settles back into the cushions with a soft sigh. As she watches the movie, for the first time that day she doesn’t think about her mom. 

XXX

The second Midge sits down to write that night, she decides that she’s entering the essay contest. She looks at the prompt on the competition website. It says to write about a significant struggle you’ve overcome. That shouldn’t be hard to come up with. 

The next couple hours, the words come pouring out of her. When she reads aloud the last sentence of what she wrote, she chokes out a soft sob, but the gentle smile on her face doesn’t fade. 

“No matter how many tragedies I face, I’ll never forget that I have wonderful people all around me who will unendingly support me.”

Chapter Text

Friday February 6th
8:24 pm

“You’re doing great!” Midge exclaims. “You’re a natural at this!” 

Summer looks up from the macrame plant hanger she’s making. Midge, who’s sitting across the kitchen table from her, is smiling brightly. As usual, her smile is contagious and Summer immediately finds herself grinning back. 

“Thanks!” she exclaims. “It’s actually really fun!” 

Midge giggles. “I knew you’d like it!” 

Truthfully, Summer hadn’t thought she’d like macrame, but she decided to humor Midge when the girl suggested teaching it to her. She’s surprised by how much she enjoys it. Midge has been coming over to Summer and Nikki’s dorm most nights, doing anything she can to cheer Summer up while her sprained ankle heals. Summer has a serious case of cabin fever. Being unable to do sports or exercise has been tortuous for her. At least Midge, Nikki, and Teresa have been doing anything they can to take her mind off it though. 

“Your plant hanger is beautiful,” Summer says. “I hope I’m as good at macrame as you someday.” 

Midge’s eyes widen like she didn’t expect Summer to say that. Summer doesn’t blame her. Admitting that she’s not the best at something is rather out of character for her. Midge deserves to be complimented though. Her macrame is stunning. It’s clear how hard she’s worked at perfecting the craft. 

Midge grins. “Thank you!” 

“No prob,” Summer replies, smiling back. 

There’s a minute of comfortable silence, both girls focusing intently on their projects. Summer looks up when Midge speaks. 

“Oh I forgot to tell you! I entered the writing competition!” 

Summer grins as a wave of excitement surges through her. 

“That’s amazing!” she exclaims. “I’m so proud of you!” 

Midge smiles widely. 

“Thank you,” she murmurs, her cheeks flushing. 

“Will there be an awards presentation?” Summer asks. 

“Yeah. March 27th.” 

“Well, I’ll be there!” Summer exclaims. 

Midge blushes brighter. Summer grins. It’s adorable when the girl gets flustered. 

“Thank you so much,” says Midge, her voice soft. “I really appreciate your support.” 

“Of course!” Summer exclaims. 

They go back to working on their projects in comfortable silence. Summer completes hers a few minutes after Midge finishes hers. She holds it up. Midge claps. 

“It looks amazing!” she exclaims. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it done so well on a person’s first try!” 

Now it’s Summer’s turn to be flustered. Her cheeks burn. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. 

Midge giggles. “Now how about a movie? I think Teresa and Nikki are watching a show, but I bet they’re doing more kissing than watching.” She snorts. 

Summer chuckles. “I bet you’re right.” 

XXX

After making microwavable popcorn, Summer and Midge enter the living room. As both girls suspected, Nikki and Teresa are making out on the couch while South Park plays in the background. Summer gives Midge a smirk and Midge smirks back. They walk closer. 

“Hellooo?” Summer says playfully. 

Nikki and Teresa quickly break apart. 

“Yes?” Nikki asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“We were going to watch Legally Blonde,” Summer explains. “Wanna join?” 

Nikki and Teresa look at each other and shrug. 

“Sure,” Nikki agrees, sounding rather disinterested. 

“Do you want popcorn?” Midge asks. 

“That’s alright,” says Teresa. “Thank you though.”

Nikki shakes her head. “I’m good.” 

Summer and Midge sit down next to the girls. Summer grabs the remote and brings up the movie. It’s only a few minutes in when Nikki and Teresa go off to Nikki’s room. Summer and Midge look at each other and giggle. 

“They’re just a little bit obsessed with each other,” Summer laughs. 

Midge snorts. “Yeah. Just a little bit.” 

They go back to watching the movie. Midge’s snorts whenever there’s a funny scene brings a smile to Summer’s face every time. As the end credits roll, Summer thinks about how much she loves this comfortable routine she and Midge have fallen into. 

XXX
11:41 pm

Summer is lying in bed scrolling through Instagram when her phone buzzes with a notification. She rolls her eyes when she sees that it’s yet another text from Georgia. 

[Georgia 11:41 pm] Idk what happened between you and Lizzy, but like I’ve said so many times now you two need to make up. We can’t have whatever feud you guys are in ruin the group’s friendship. 🙁

Summer rolls her eyes before giving her usual response. 

[Summer 11:43 pm] What Lizzy did is unforgivable. Im sorry but I cant hang out with you and Isabella if youre still going to be friends with Lizzy. 

As much as Summer just wants to ghost Georgia, that would be cowardly. She’s a lot of things, but she’s not a coward. She rolls her eyes again when she sees Georgia’s reply. 

[Georgia 11:43 pm] Why do u have to be so damn stubborn???

Summer doesn’t respond to that. What else can she say? She continues to scroll through social media apps for the next couple hours. When she finally begins to nod off around two, she prays that she doesn't dream about her mom’s cruel rejection, Blaine’s cold-hearted betrayal, Lizzy’s treachery. As usual, she’s not so lucky. 

XXX
Saturday February 14th
9:16 pm

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Midge grumbles, as she and Summer approach the frat house. “I should be studying for midterms!” 

Summer rolls her eyes. “Midterms aren’t for another two weeks, Midge! Plus, my ankle is finally better. I need to live a little!” 

Midge scoffs. “Well, I don’t leave things to the last minute, unlike somebody else I know.” 

“Hey!” Summer exclaims. “Rude!” 

She can’t stop the grin that forms on her face though. Luckily, it’s too dark for Midge to see it. 

Midge softly bumps her shoulder.  “Come on, you know I say it with love.”

“Interesting way of showing love,” Summer mumbles, trying to keep the humor out of her voice. 

Midge scoffs. “Speaking of love, this is a Valentine’s Day party! Everybody is just going to be making out and sneaking into bedrooms to have sex! We’re going to be so out of place!”

Summer rolls her eyes. “Well, just pretend we’re on a date then. This is kind of like a date, yeah? Just without the romance aspect.” 

She’s not sure why her face is suddenly burning. 

“Well, I wouldn’t know,” Midge says with a soft laugh. 

Summer raises an eyebrow. “You’ve never been on a date?” 

There’s a moment of awkward silence before Midge answers. 

“No,” she murmurs. 

Regret suddenly tugs at Summer’s chest. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean anything bad by it,” she says softly. “I’ve only been on a few dates myself and they were never, you know, serious.” 

“Really?” Midge asks, her voice quiet. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” 

“I promise I’m not.” 

Midge giggles. They grow silent as they arrive at the frat house. Music is blasting from inside so loudly that Summer can feel the vibration in her eardrums even out in the front yard. Throngs of people are outside and like Midge predicted, most of them are making out. 

Summer turns to Midge. “Wanna go inside?” 

“Sure.” 

Summer frowns at the nervousness in her friend’s voice. 

“Hey, we don’t have to do this,” she murmurs. 

“No, I want to,” Midge quickly replies. 

Summer isn’t convinced, but she’s not going to argue. 

“Okay. Let’s go then,” she says. 

They step inside. The house is even more crowded than outside. Some people are dancing by the stereo. Others are standing in groups, tossing back drinks and talking loudly. Many are making out. 

“Wanna grab a drink?” Summer asks, having to talk louder than usual to be heard over the noise. 

“Sure,” Midge replies, also projecting her voice. 

They have to push their way through throngs of people to reach the drinks table. Midge says “excuse me” a good ten times, but Summer doesn’t bother. Nobody is polite at parties like this. As they approach the drinks table, Midge scoffs. 

“There’s only beer?!” she exclaims. “There were all those fancy drinks last time!” 

Summer chuckles. “That was the frat house where Anthony lives. He loves making fancy drinks. Unfortunately, most frat boys only drink beer.” 

“You know these frat boys?” Midge asks, sounding confused.

“Perks of being in the school sports scene,” says Summer, her sarcasm clear.

She turns to Midge. She’s once again taken aback by the girl’s appearance. She’s dressed to the nines in a sparkly scarlet halter dress and crimson high heels. Her outfit is accessorized with a silver necklace and silver hoop earrings. Her auburn hair is wavy. Summer is dressed in a strapless shiny turquoise dress with silver heels and silver hoop earrings. 

“Man,” Midge mutters. “This is a shame. There’s not even fruit punch.” 

“Well, at least they have water,” Summer offers. 

Midge shrugs. “I suppose.” 

Summer grabs a can of beer before pointing to the dance floor. 

“Wanna dance?!” she exclaims. 

Midge gives her a small smile. “Sure.”

They make their way through the crowds of people again as they head to the dance floor. When they reach it, Midge rocks side to side in an awkward attempt at dancing, looking around nervously. Summer sways to the beat and takes swigs of her beer, trying to ignore how bad she feels for taking Midge here. It’s clear how uncomfortable she is. She needs to do something to make her feel more comfortable. With the hand that isn’t holding her beer, she takes Midge’s hand. 

“Come on, girl!” she exclaims. “Dance with me!” 

Midge giggles as Summer twirls her around. Summer grins, proud that she could cheer Midge up. Midge acts less awkward after that, dancing with larger movements. A bright smile is on her face and Summer grins just as widely. Midge doesn’t release her hand, but Summer doesn’t mind. Midge’s hand is warm and soft and quite honestly Summer doesn’t want to let go. 

A few minutes later, Midge suddenly lets go and steps back. Summer’s eyes widen. What happened? Did she do something wrong? It takes her a second to realize that a boy is standing in front of Midge talking to her. Summer is immediately on the alert. She narrows her eyes. When she notices Midge flinch back, she rushes forward and stands next to her friend. She clenches her fists as a wave of anger courses through her. Who does this boy think he is making Midge uncomfortable?! She leans in closer to the girl. 

“Who is this?” she murmurs. “Do you know him?” 

“It’s Keaton,” Midge whispers, her voice tight. 

Summer’s anger immediately heightens. 

“Hey!” she snaps, stepping in front of Midge. “Scram!” 

She points to the other side of the room. 

“And who do you think you are?!” Keaton exclaims, his voice slurred. 

He steps forward until they’re face to face. His brown bangs are so long that she can barely see his eyes.

“I think I’m a person who puts predatory boys in their fucking place!” she exclaims, voice trembling with rage. “Get the fuck out of here!” 

She squares her shoulders. She’s faintly aware that a small crowd of people have gathered beside them and are watching. 

“I was just telling her she looks sexy!” he insists. “Is that a crime?!” 

“It’s a damn slimy move to do that to a person who isn’t into you!” she hisses. “Now fucking leave her alone or I’ll give you a beating you won’t forget!” 

He scoffs. “Like a girl could take me!” 

She almost punches him right then and there. It doesn’t matter that he’s a good half foot taller than her. He doesn’t have a hint of muscle that she can see. 

“Leave!” she roars, getting right up in his face. 

“S-Summer, it’s fine!” Midge exclaims, voice shaking. “Just…” Her voice breaks. 

Summer is too consumed by rage to even care that Midge is crying. 

“Fine!” he hisses. 

He stomps off. He’s passing by Midge when all of a sudden he reaches out and slaps her butt. Midge squeaks in surprise. Fury crashes through Summer, making her whole body blaze with heat. All it takes is one look at Midge’s trembling lip and watery eyes to spur her into action. She lunges forward with a growl, fist colliding against the boy’s face. Her hand immediately erupts with pain. She clenches her jaw, fighting off the urge to shriek. Keaton is clutching his face, but a few seconds later he recovers and before she knows it his fist is crashing into her mouth. The pain is so consuming that she doesn’t even register her injured hand anymore. Blood instantly fills her mouth. She grasps her mouth, unable to hold back a whimper. The pain is so intense that her senses are fuzzy. She’s only faintly aware of Midge yelling for help and a group of boys running forward. All of a sudden, soft hands are gripping her shoulders and she can see Midge’s indistinct figure standing in front of her. The girl’s voice sounds distant as she blurts out a string of obscenities. Summer is aware of more people crowding around them, but Midge snaps at them to back off and leads Summer away. She’s fuzzily aware that they’re heading towards the bathroom.  

“Get out!” Midge exclaims. 

The few kissing couples scurry out. Midge slams the door and locks it before guiding Summer forward to stand in front of the sink. Summer’s senses are slowly returning to her and the pain is becoming more overwhelming by the second. She spits into the sink, but the blood immediately fills her mouth again. She’s also aware now that her bottom lip is bleeding profusely. She has no choice but to let all the blood dribble down her chin. Midge hands her a paper towel and Summer takes it with a trembling hand. 

“Shit,” Midge hisses, her voice shaking. “Your lip is completely busted open. Can you open your mouth?” 

Summer slowly opens it. She hisses with pain. Midge frowns sympathetically. 

“I know,” she coos. “I know it hurts. You’ll be okay.” 

She steps closer to see inside Summer’s mouth. 

“Well, your teeth are all intact at least,” she says, her voice soft. “God, your tongue is all busted up too. Jesus, I hate to say this, but I think you’re going to need stitches.” 

Summer shakes her head. “No! I’m fine!” 

She quickly grows silent though as the movement of her mouth makes the pain even more excruciating. Her words are slurred, no doubt from the cut on her tongue.

Midge sighs softly. “I’m sorry, Summer. Here, let’s go outside. I’ll call a Lyft.” 

She grabs a handful of paper towels and hands them to her before leading her out of the bathroom. 

XXX

The Lyft drive to the campus medical center is silent. Summer clutches the paper towels to her mouth and tries not to let the whimpers building in her throat out. Midge gently rubs her back and that makes it all the harder to maintain her resolve. She manages though.

XXX

After getting her lower lip and tongue stitched up and being dosed with morphine, Midge and Summer take a Lyft back to Summer and Nikki’s dorm. Usually they’d walk, as it’s not too far from the medical center, but the morphine running through Summer’s veins is making her drowsy. At least the splitting pain is gone though. During the drive, she’s faintly aware that she’s resting her head on Midge’s shoulder, but she’s too sleepy to think through what she’s doing. Every muscle in her body relaxes as the girl strokes her hair. 

As soon as they get back to her dorm, Midge guides her to her bedroom. She takes a pair of pajamas out of Summer’s dresser and hands them to her. 

“I’ll be right outside the door,” Midge murmurs, before leaving the room and shutting the door. 

It takes Summer several minutes to figure out how to undress and put the pajamas on and when she’s finally dressed she's pretty sure the shirt is on backwards. All she cares about right now though is going to sleep. 

“Okay,” she calls, her voice weak. “I’m done.” 

Midge opens the door and walks back in. 

“You need help getting into bed?” she asks softly. 

“No, I’m good,” Summer replies. 

After lying down, she notices that Midge is still standing awkwardly by the bed. 

“Come lay down,” Summer murmurs. 

Midge’s eyes widen. She nods though and after slipping her high heels off, she slowly crawls into bed. She lies on her back near the edge. Summer closes her eyes. She’s just about to drift off when Midge speaks. 

“Thank you,” she murmurs. “For protecting me.” 

Summer is so exhausted she can barely speak, but she manages to whisper, “Of course.”

Chapter Text

Sunday February 15th 
9:18 am

The first thing Summer registers when she wakes up the next morning is a throbbing pain in her bottom lip and tongue. She opens her eyes, but she immediately closes them again as they’re stung by the sunlight pouring in through the window. She groans before trying to drift off again. Her efforts are in vain though. The pain is too consuming. Something is very wrong with her tongue and lip. She’s about to sit up and try to figure out what’s wrong when she suddenly registers the sound of soft breathing next to her. She quickly turns and the second her eyes land on a sleeping Midge, everything from last night comes rushing back. She doesn’t remember much after the hospital trip though. That morphine sure did its job. She’s much drowsier than she usually is in the morning. As she stares at Midge, she tries to remember why the girl is in her bed. She hisses as an especially strong stab of pain pulses through her lip and tongue. Midge’s eyes blink open. She looks around for a moment, confusion evident on her face, but as her eyes focus on Summer, her eyes widen in realization. She clears her throat. 

“Hey,” she says softly, her voice hoarse from sleep. “Are you okay?” 

Summer slowly nods. The pain is nearly overwhelming her and the sutures are annoying to say the least, but she’ll be fine. She’s always able to push through her injuries. 

“How do you feel?” Midge asks gently. 

“Bad,” Summer manages to croak out. 

Midge frowns sympathetically. 

“I assumed so,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry. I’ll get you some Advil. Do you want an ice cold smoothie to go with it? I can make you one.” 

Summer shakes her head again. She’s slightly nauseous, probably another effect of the morphine. 

“Okay,” says Midge. “You can eat later. How about I order you some ice cream in a couple hours?” 

Summer shrugs. Nothing sounds appealing right now. 

Midge frowns. “Gosh, you’re so swollen. I’ll get you that Advil right away. Do you want to come out on the couch? I can turn a show or movie on for you.” 

Summer nods. No matter how rotten she feels, she doesn't want to stay in bed all day. Some entertainment would be good. 

“Okay,” Midge says. “How drowsy are you? Do you need help walking?” 

Summer shakes her head. As she gets up, she suddenly notes that Midge is still in her dress from last night. 

“You can change into some of my clothes,” Summer offers, her words slurred. 

Talking makes the pain a million times worse, but she can’t exactly make Midge stay in such an uncomfortable outfit. 

“Thank you,” Midge murmurs. 

Walking is about as easy as talking, but Summer manages to make it over to her dresser. She pulls out gray sweatpants and a turquoise long-sleeved shirt. 

“Is this good?” she asks, holding the outfit up. 

Midge nods. “Yup.” 

Summer leaves the room and shuts the door before wobbling over to the couch. It takes far more effort than usual to turn South Park on. As she sits and tries to focus on the show, she suddenly remembers why Midge was in her bed. She asked her to get in bed with her. Her eyes widen as blood rushes into her cheeks. I was high, she reasons. Still, that’s beyond embarrassing.  

Midge comes out a couple minutes later dressed in Summer’s clothes. They’re rather baggy on her, but she doesn't seem to mind. Midge goes into the kitchen and a minute later she comes out with the bottle of Advil and a glass of water. Summer tries to look and act naturally, but her face is still flushed.

“Thanks,” Summer murmurs, as Midge hands her the items. 

“Of course,” says Midge, before taking a seat next to her. 

Summer winces as she takes the medication. She’s only been up for a few minutes, but this splitting pain is already getting really old. Hopefully the Advil helps. She sets the glass of water on the coffee table and leans back against the cushion.

“I wonder when Nikki will be back,” says Midge. “Teresa said she was going to spend the night over at our dorm.” 

Despite the pain, Summer still has some of her humor intact. She wiggles her eyebrows. 

“We both know what that’s code for,” she slurs. 

Midge snorts. They fall into a comfortable silence then as they watch South Park. Gradually, the embarrassment she feels at the memory of asking Midge to get in bed with her fades away. She becomes more and more tired, but the pain is still too piercing to sleep.

“Do you want some ice cubes?” Midge asks a few minutes later. “That might help with the pain.” 

Summer nods. Midge gets up and walks towards the kitchen. She returns a minute later with the tray of ice cubes Summer and Nikki keep in the freezer. She sits back down before setting it on the coffee table. As they continue watching South Park in silence, Midge hands her a fresh ice cube every couple minutes. The ice soothes the pain significantly. After all the ice in the tray melts, Midge brings it back to the freezer. She returns a minute later and settles next to Summer again. Now the Advil is kicking in, and Summer is growing sleepier by the second. The last thing she registers before drifting off is Midge covering her with a blanket. 

XXX
1:03 pm

When Summer wakes up, it takes her a few moments to become aware of her surroundings. It’s not until Midge speaks that she comes back to her senses. The pain is back and is so intense she can’t help wincing. At least the nausea is gone though.

“Hey,” the girl murmurs. “How are you feeling?” 

“Hurts again,” Summer croaks. 

Midge frowns sympathetically. 

“You can take more Advil now,” she says softly. “Also, I ordered you some sherbet ice cream from Baskin Robbins. I think that’s what you said your favorite is. It’s in the freezer. I can go grab it whenever.” 

Summer notices then that Midge is eating ice cream. South Park is still playing. 

“Thanks,” Summer says, her voice hoarse. 

“No problem,” Midge replies. 

After taking more Advil, Summer decides she’ll try to eat the ice cream. Midge brings it to her. The ice cream feels soothing against her tongue. 

“By the way, Teresa texted me and Nikki is still at me and Teresa’s place,” Midge says. “She’ll be back around three apparently.” 

Summer winces at the thought of Nikki’s return. She’s going to have to explain the whole story of the fight to her. Saying one sentence hurts enough. An entire recounting of last night’s events? Hopefully the Advil kicks in by then. She doesn’t mean to, but a few minutes after finishing the ice cream, she falls asleep again. 

She wakes up to the sound of Nikki’s voice. 

“Oh my God! What happened to her?! Is she okay?!” 

Summer’s eyes blink open just in time to see Nikki racing towards her. She drops down on the couch beside her.

“She’s fine,” Midge assures. “Last night, a boy…he…assaulted me. He slapped my behind.” 

Summer doesn’t miss how her voice catches slightly. Guilt floods her. She didn’t even ask Midge if she’s okay. She’s been so overwhelmed by her own pain. 

“Oh my God!” Nikki exclaims. “Are you okay?! I’m so sorry! I’ll kick his ass!” 

Summer turns to Midge as the girl begins speaking.

“Well see that’s the thing. Summer did and she got punched back. Her lip and tongue were busted open. I took her to the hospital and she got stitches. She’s okay, but she’s in quite a bit of pain. I’ve been making sure she takes Advil and giving her ice and ice cream. She’s been getting plenty of rest too.” 

“And what about that scumbag boy?!” Nikki asks, her voice filled with rage. “Were the police called?!” 

“I don’t know,” Midge says, her voice soft. “We left for the hospital quickly. I hope so. There’s nobody I can ask. I didn’t know anybody there other than the boy. Summer knows some of the people, but she’s in no state to figure it out right now.”

“Okay,” Nikki says a moment later, sounding much calmer. “We’ll figure it out once she feels better. Thank you for taking care of her.” 

“Of course,” Midge murmurs. “It’s my pleasure.” 

XXX

After Midge leaves, Nikki turns to Summer. 

“You’ve gotta be careful, girl!” she exclaims. 

“Well, what was I supposed to do?!” Summer snaps. 

Her words are still slurred and talking is as painful as ever, but she needs to get her point across. 

“That boy hurt her! He needed to be put in his place!” 

“I know,” Nikki says, voice calming significantly. “I would’ve done the same thing. I’m just…I’m worried about you.” 

Summer’s anger immediately cools. 

“I’m fine,” she says, her voice much softer. 

Nikki gently bumps her shoulder. 

“Well, I don’t know about fine. You look like a chipmunk.” 

Summer scoffs. “Do not!” 

“You do! Have you looked in a mirror today?!” 

“No,” Summer admits. 

Nikki chuckles before letting out a soft sigh. 

“Now it’s your turn to talk,” says Summer, giving her friend a sly grin. “What’s up with you and Teresa?” 

She wiggles her eyebrows. Nikki immediately blushes. 

“You totally slept together,” Summer says, voice deadpan. 

Nikki scowls. “That’s none of your business!” 

“You totally diddd!” Summer sings. 

Nikki scoffs. “Keep this up and I’ll hide your Advil!” 

Summer smirks. “You’d never. You’re too much of a softie.” 

Nikki laughs sharply. “I’m a softie? Look who’s talking. You turn into a gushy pile of mush the second Midge shows up.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?!” Summer snaps. 

She’s not sure why she suddenly feels so defensive. All she knows is that she doesn’t like where this is going. 

Nikki’s eyes widen. 

“I-I don’t mean anything,” she stutters. 

Summer narrows her eyes. Why is Nikki so nervous now? And why is she having these strange feelings, a fluttering in her chest and stomach? She swallows. Her throat is suddenly parched. 

“Let’s just watch South Park,” she murmurs. 

Nikki nods. They watch the show in awkward silence and Summer tries not to think about a single thing. She’s actually glad when the pain grows worse a few minutes later. It’s a welcome distraction from these odd sensations within her. 

XXX

After a dinner of ice cream (Nikki ordered more Baskin Robbins), Summer decides she feels good enough to text one of the frat boys and inquire about what happened after the fight.  

[Summer 7:03 pm] Hey Jamie were the police called after the fight 

Dots immediately start dancing across the screen. She waits with bated breath.

[Jamie 7:04 pm] Yes. His dad bailed him out of jail. He has a disciplinary meeting with the school I think. 

Summer grins. She’s never felt more satisfied. She quickly texts back.

[Summer 7:05 pm] Thanks Im glad to hear it!

[Jamie 7:05 pm] Ofc! Same here! 

She goes back to watching South Park. She can’t wait to tell Nikki when the girl gets out of the shower.

XXX
Monday February 16th
8:09 pm

Summer and Midge are sitting on the couch in Summer and Nikki's living room eating ice cream and watching Friends. Summer let Midge choose the show and for once Midge didn't just insist on South Park despite not liking it. Nikki and Teresa are in Nikki's room as is the usual when Midge and Teresa are over. Summer's lip and tongue feel significantly better today, and now that she's in a clearer headspace, she's ready to talk to Midge about what happened the other night. She takes a deep breath before turning to the girl. 

“Hey, Midge,” she murmurs. “I just wanted to make sure you're okay after what…you know…happened with Keaton.” 

She twists her fingers in her lap. Her heart is pounding. Is Midge even going to want to talk about it? Midge's eyes widen. There's a moment of silence and Summer is just opening her mouth to say they don't have to discuss it when Midge speaks. 

“It was scary,” she says softly, looking down at her lap. “I was…” Her voice breaks. 

Summer's chest aches at the fear in her friend's voice. She wishes she knew what to do. She's never been in a situation like this before. They sit in awkward silence for a moment. Summer racks her brain for what to say. Finally, Midge speaks and her voice is so small and uncertain that the pain in Summer's chest grows even sharper. 

“Can I have a hug?” Midge murmurs. 

“Of course,” Summer says immediately, her voice soft. “Come here.” 

They both set their bowls of ice cream on the coffee table. Summer gently pulls Midge into her arms. Midge rests her head against her shoulder. Summer can feel the girl's heart pounding against her. 

“It's okay,” she whispers. “You're safe.” 

Midge sniffs. 

“I know I'm safe when I'm with you,” she murmurs, her voice shaking. 

Summer's face flushes and her stomach swarms with butterflies. She's not sure why. 

She's able to keep it together though and whisper back, “I'll always keep you safe.”

XXX
Friday February 20th

Summer is about to drift off to sleep when her phone buzzes. She groans before picking it up from her nightstand. She’s actually trying to go to sleep early tonight, since she has a basketball game tomorrow, and this is when somebody decides to text her? Her eyes widen when she realizes it’s a text notification from Blaine. Hand shaking, she clicks on it. 

[Blaine 11:43 pm] Heard from Carl that you’re getting into fights. Keep your shit together, Summer. You want to graduate, don’t you?

She slams her phone back down on the nightstand so hard that she’s surprised it doesn’t shatter. Angry tears burn her eyes. She spends most of the night too furious to sleep. She tosses and turns until after five. 

XXX
Saturday February 21st
7:00 am

The first thing she registers when her alarm wakes her up is that she feels off. Oh God. Did she catch that flu that’s been going around? It takes her a minute to realize that it’s her emotions making her feel this way. There’s a deep ache in her chest, and as she remembers the text from last night, her eyes sting. 

“Shit,” she hisses. “Don’t do this, Summer.” 

She thinks about being on the basketball court, dribbling, shooting, winning. For the first time in a long time, it doesn’t feel possible. 

XXX
9:35 am

“You okay, Summer?” 

Summer’s head shoots up as her teammate, Adelaide, approaches her. She’s sitting on the locker room bench. She’s been trying to push the negative thoughts out of her mind, but her efforts aren’t doing much good. She clears her throat. 

“O-Of course,” she stutters. “Just thinking.” 

She clenches her jaw. Of course she stuttered. Of course she feels on the verge of tears. Of course she’s going to screw this game up. Adelaide gives her a soft smile. 

“It’s going to be a good game,” she assures her. 

Summer does her best to give a weak smile back. 

She laughs nervously. “It sure will be.”

XXX

The minute she steps out onto the court, it’s like she forgets her sixteen years of basketball training. Her mind goes blank. Her muscles stiffen. Her reflexes are sluggish. No matter how much she tries, she can’t dart past the other players or run quickly or make baskets. She can feel her teammates’ and Coach Martin’s eyes boring into her, but she can’t bear to look back at them. She’s failing them. She’s failing everybody. As soon as the game ends and she fully registers that their team scored 6 to 9 and she made none of the baskets, she hurries off the court and out of the gym. 

Tears of shame and anger burn her eyes as she rushes back to her dorm. She never loses games. Not since she was little. What the fuck happened?! As soon as she arrives home, she gets into bed. She stares at the chipped paint of the wall and clenches her jaw tightly, trying with all her might to not cry. Crying over a lost game would be pathetic. She ignores the buzzing of her phone. It’s undoubtedly Midge and Nikki. They were at the game. So was Teresa. They all saw her fail. 

She’s not sure how long it’s been when there’s a knocking at the front door. She knows exactly who it is. Nikki would just come in. It’s Midge without a doubt. She’s not going to be able to handle the girl’s sympathy right now. Still, she can’t just ignore her. So with a heavy sigh, she stands on shaky legs and makes her way out of her bedroom and down the hall. 

“Don’t cry,” she hisses, before opening the door with a trembling hand. 

The second her eyes land on Midge though and she sees the soft, concerned expression on the girl’s face, the stinging in her eyes intensifies. Shit. This isn’t good. Midge quickly walks in and Summer shuts the door. 

“Hey,” Midge murmurs. “I was worried. You haven’t been answering my texts and calls. Are-Are you okay?” 

Tears immediately fill Summer’s eyes. She takes a deep, shaky breath. This is beyond stupid. What twenty one year old cries over losing a game? Suddenly all she can think about though is her mom and the harshness of her voice as she berates her for being below Blaine on the athletic chart. She was below Blaine in everything. And now she feels like a little girl all over again, being compared to her brother day in and day out, reminded again and again of how worthless she is. Oh God, she can’t hold herself together anymore. 

“Please leave,” she whispers. 

She knows if she talks any louder, her voice will break. Clearly her distress is already obvious though because Midge’s eyes are wide and filled to the brim with sympathy. 

“Oh, Summer,” the girl murmurs. “It’s okay. You…”

Summer cuts her off. 

“Go!” she exclaims, her voice trembling. “Get out of here!” 

Regret immediately consumes her as she takes in the expression of utter shock on Midge’s face. She needs to apologize. But before she can, Midge is leaving. 

“Wait!” Summer calls, her voice cracking. 

Midge is gone though and now Summer has not only failed her coach, teammates, and every school sports fan, but she’s failed her friend, the girl who means the world to her. She closes the door and as soon as it’s shut, she bursts into tears. She stands there and sobs as the image of Midge walking away spins through her head again and again. 

A few minutes later, she retreats to her bedroom, knowing Nikki will be back soon. She lies in bed and cries until her head pounds with pain and her throat hurts. Luckily, she's calmed by the time Nikki returns. Her friend pleads with her to come out, but she refuses. Finally, Nikki gives up. Summer lies there the rest of the afternoon, staring at the ceiling with aching eyes. Two words cycle through her mind over and over again: I'm sorry.

Chapter Text

Saturday February 21st
12:04 pm

Midge stubbornly holds back the tears burning her eyes as she walks away from Summer’s dorm. 

“Wait!” Summer calls, voice cracking. 

Hearing the sheer amount of pain in her friend’s voice, Midge is tempted to turn around and hurry back to her side, but the hurt she feels from the girl’s harsh words is enough to keep her away. Summer yelled at her. Midge was just trying to help. She can’t handle seeing her right now. She just can’t. 

XXX

The second she steps into her dorm and shuts the door, she bursts into tears. She expects Teresa to come running to her side, but when she still hasn’t arrived a few moments later, Midge assumes she isn’t home. She’s too distraught to consider where she could possibly be though. All she can do is cry. Collapsing onto her bed, she buries her face in the pillow and sobs. It’s silly to be this upset. Sure, Summer was unnecessarily harsh, but it’s not like she said anything bad. She just told her to go away. And truthfully, Midge should’ve gone away right when Summer told her to the first time. Midge felt rooted to the spot though. The tears in the girl’s eyes, the pain in her voice, the defeated slump of her shoulders…all she wanted to do was be there for her like the girl has been there for her. Summer pushed her away though and Midge desperately wishes that she would just let her in. She knows that there’s a deeper reason why the girl is so upset about losing, that there’s more to why she’s so incredibly hard on herself. It has to do with her mom. She can tell that much. What hurts the most is that Summer doesn’t trust her enough to tell her more. 

XXX

When Teresa arrives home about half an hour later, Midge has luckily pulled herself together. Her friend will inevitably notice her swollen eyes though, so she decides she’ll stay in her room as long as she can. It’s unlikely that Teresa won’t come talk to her, but she can hold out hope. She sits down at her desk, opens up her laptop, and is about to start writing an essay that’s due next week when there’s a knocking at her door. 

“Shoot,” she hisses under her breath. 

She can’t exactly ignore Teresa though. 

“Come in!” she calls, making her voice as pleasant as she can. 

Teresa walks in, holding a coffee in one hand and what appears to be a chai in the other. The smile on her face is as bright as ever. 

“Hey, Midge!” she exclaims. “I got you a chai!” 

That brings a genuine smile to Midge’s face. 

“Thanks,” she says, as Teresa walks over and hands her the chai. 

Teresa grins. “Of course!”

Teresa’s smile suddenly falls. 

“Are you alright?” she murmurs. “Your eyes are red. Were you crying?” 

Midge winces. There’s no use lying. It’s obvious that she was. She doesn’t want to tell Teresa the truth though. The girl would be offended on her behalf, and she doesn’t want to make Summer look bad. She quickly thinks of another explanation. 

“I-I was just crying because, um, I feel bad for Summer,” she mutters. 

It’s technically not a lie. She feels absolutely awful for Summer. That’s why everything ended up like this in the first place. Fortunately, Teresa buys it. She frowns sympathetically. 

“I’m sorry you’re sad,” she murmurs. “She’ll be alright. Nikki will make sure she’s okay.” 

Midge wonders if Summer will be any more open with Nikki than she was with her. 

“How about we do something to take your mind off it?” Teresa suggests, a soft smile on her face. “Wanna watch a movie? Oh but first I want to tell you about my date with Nikki last night! We had sex again!” 

She claps her hands excitedly. Midge giggles. Teresa is not one for keeping anything to herself, but Midge doesn’t mind. She loves seeing her friend so happy. Plus, she'd assumed they had. They had this dorm to themselves after all. Midge was over at Summer and Nikki’s dorm until nearly eleven last night. Midge squeals, her mood quickly lifted by Teresa’s excitement. 

“I’m so happy for you!” she exclaims. “You guys are so cute together!”

Teresa blushes. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. 

Midge giggles. “Of course.” 

“And oh my God Midge!” Teresa exclaims, clasping her hands to her chest. “She took me to the fanciest restaurant! We sat at the top of a skyscraper! It was absolutely magical!”

Her eyes are wide with wonder. Midge smiles softly. Even if nothing in her life seems to be going right, at least she can bask in the warmth of her friend’s happiness. 

XXX
Sunday February 22nd 

Midge is lying in bed scrolling through Instagram when her phone buzzes with a notification. Her eyes widen when she realizes it’s a text from Summer. She immediately clicks on it. Her heart pounds as she reads the message. 

[Summer 9:47 am] Hi Midge. I’m really sorry for how I acted yesterday. Would you be available to meet up later? Theres some things I want to tell you. 

What could Summer want to tell her? Her mind races with the possibilities. Is she going to open up to her? Is she going to tell her about her mom, about her past, about why she struggles the way she does? Why do those dark circles under her eyes never stay away for long? Why can’t she lose at anything? Why is she so damn emotionally guarded? Is Midge finally about to get the answers to these questions? Her hand trembles as she texts back. 

[Midge 9:49 am] Hey Summer. It’s alright. I know you were upset. I should’ve backed off when you told me to. I’m available to meet up whenever. What time works for you? 💖

Her heart thumps harder as Summer types back. This anticipation is overwhelming. 

[Summer 9:50 am] Theres no excuse for me to yell at u tho. Im really sorry. Wanna meet up at my place at about 11? I can take you to lunch after. 

Midge smiles softly. Summer is so sweet. She quickly texts back. 

[Midge 9:51 am] It’s really okay, Summer. I forgive you. That sounds good. See you then. 💖

[Summer 9:51 am] See u 😄

Midge gets out of bed and hurries over to her dresser to pick out an outfit. She hasn’t the slightest idea what Summer is going to tell her, but whatever it is she’s looking forward to finding out. 

XXX
11:01 am

“Hey,” says Summer, the awkwardness in her voice clear, as she lets Midge into her dorm. “How are you?” 

“I’m good,” Midge replies, feeling just as awkward. “How are you?” 

“I’m good. Wanna sit on the couch?”

Midge nods. She follows Summer to the couch. As they sit down, Midge notices Summer sits further away from her than usual. The girl is looking down, twisting her fingers together in her lap. As uncomfortable as Midge feels, she wants to do anything she can to put Summer at ease. She’s opening her mouth, about to start some casual conversation, when Summer speaks. Her voice is much smaller than usual. When she looks at Midge, it’s clear by the strained expression on her face that looking at her is difficult for her right now. 

“I just wanted to apologize again,” she says. “That was really wrong of me to raise my voice at you.” 

Midge shakes her head. “Like I said, I should’ve left when you told me to. I was being disrespectful too.” 

Summer frowns deeply. 

“You were just trying to help,” she insists. “I was clearly upset. And that’s…” She lets out a long breath. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Why I was so upset. It probably seems weird to you that a grown ass woman gets so upset over losing. It’s not just because I’m a sore loser.” 

She chuckles humorlessly before continuing. “Well, maybe that’s part of it, but…there’s more to it and I’m going to tell you why.” 

She takes a deep breath. It’s clear by her clenched fists and stiff posture how hard this is for her. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Midge assures her, her voice soft. 

As much as she wants to know the reasoning behind Summer’s odd behavior, she doesn’t want the girl to put herself through agony to open up to her. Summer shakes her head. 

“No. I need to tell you. After the shit I pulled yesterday, you deserve to know. God, I haven’t even told Nikki this.” 

She laughs humorlessly. She still won’t look at her, but Midge doesn’t mind. She wishes she could provide comfort in some way, but she knows that would only make things more difficult for her friend if she tried. So she just waits patiently as Summer gathers the courage to say what she needs to. About a minute later, she begins speaking. Once she starts talking, the words come out quickly, like she’s trying to get her explanation over with. 

“When I was little, my mom…she would make me and Blaine compete against each other. She’d have charts for everything. Sports, academics, behavior, hygiene, just to name a few. Well, when I was younger, I was always lower on the charts. She’d always hold it over my head. She’d tell me I could never be as good as Blaine.” 

Anger sparks to life in her eyes. She clenches her fists tighter. 

“So I worked harder and harder until I was better than him. Well, better at sports at least. That’s all I could manage to be better at. I could never get my grades higher and my behavior, well…” She scoffs. “I was always rebellious and wild. It wasn’t until I went away to college that I stopped being so rebellious because everything rides on me being able to stay on these sports teams. She still hates me though even when I listen to her. In her eyes, I’ll never be good enough. So that's why I care so much about winning.”

Her voice remains steady, but the pain in every word is clear. Midge’s jaw clenches. Piercing sadness and blazing hot anger battle for dominance within her. How could a mother treat their own child that way?! She wants that bitch in front of her right now so she can give her a piece of her mind.

When Summer stops talking, there’s a moment of tense silence as Midge struggles to find her voice. It’s not until Summer looks over at her that Midge is able to pull herself together. The girl’s expression is nonchalant, but Midge knows how much pain is brimming under the surface.

“Summer, I’m…I’m so sorry. That’s absolutely cruel of her.” 

She takes a deep, calming breath. Becoming overwhelmed with anger isn’t going to do either of them good. 

“You deserve so much better than that,” she murmurs. “You are good enough. You’re an absolutely amazing person. And you’re allowed to make mistakes! That doesn’t make you any less amazing!” 

She can feel herself losing control of her emotions again, so she stops and breathes deeply. 

“It’s fine,” Summer says quietly. “I’m totally fine.” 

“It’s not though!” Midge exclaims. “You don’t deserve to be treated that way!” 

Summer’s eyes widen. For a split second, her vulnerability is clear. There’s a slight tremble of her lip, a quiet hitch of her breath, a pain in her eyes so deep that it threatens to consume Midge completely. As soon as it’s there though, it’s gone and her expression is nonchalant again. 

“I know I don’t,” Summer murmurs. “There’s nothing to be done though.” 

Midge wants to insist that there is, that she should stand up for herself, but the words die in her throat. She’s a hypocrite. She’s only stood up to her mom twice over all these years and she’s never told her dad off even once. She bites her lip. 

Deciding there’s only one thing she can do to help right now, she murmurs, “Want a hug?”

Summer’s eyes widen. 

“O-Oh,” she stutters. “O-Okay.” 

Midge scoots closer before gently wrapping her in her arms. The girl is trembling slightly. Midge’s eyes burn with tears. How could that vile woman do all those awful things to a girl this precious? She holds her tighter. 

“I’m so sorry, Summer,” she murmurs. 

There’s a moment of silence. When Summer answers, her voice is tight.

“It’s fine.” 

It’s absolutely not, but Midge doesn’t say that. She just holds the girl close. A few moments later, Summer pulls back. Her face is as expressionless as before, but Midge knows there’s got to be innumerable things the girl is feeling right now. She wishes she would tell her what those things are. That would be too much to ask of her though. She already opened up to her this much. Being vulnerable clearly isn’t easy for her, and Midge is honored that she trusted her enough to be as honest as she was. 

“Thank you for telling me,” she murmurs. 

“Of course,” Summer says quietly. 

A few moments of silence pass. Midge racks her brain for what to say. When Summer finally speaks up, Midge lets out a gentle breath of relief. 

“Want to get lunch now?” 

Midge smiles softly. “Sounds great.” 

XXX

Fortunately, things go back to normal between them after Summer opens up. There’s no tension or awkwardness, which Midge is immensely grateful for. The thought of the dynamic between her and Summer changing terrifies her. They laugh and talk as easily as ever at lunch and when they hug goodbye, the embrace is as tight and warm as ever. 

XXX
Tuesday February 24th 
8:08 pm

“So what do you want to watch?” Midge asks as she and Summer settle on the couch with their bags of microwave popcorn. 

Summer and Nikki just arrived at Midge and Teresa’s dorm a few minutes ago. As usual, Teresa and Nikki went off to Teresa’s room pretty much right away. Summer opens her mouth to answer, but what comes out instead is a wide yawn. 

“Sorry,” she says. “Um…how about…uh…I don’t know.” 

She yawns again. Midge bites her lip as a wave of concern rushes through her. Over the last couple days, the dark circles under Summer’s eyes have returned. Tonight especially she seems absolutely exhausted. There’s no doubt this is due to the lost basketball game. Midge wishes she could do something to help her friend, but she doesn’t know what she possibly can do. Distracting her with movies and popcorn is something at least. 

“You choose,” says Summer. “I can’t decide.” 

It’s unlike Summer to not contribute to the decision at all. Midge tries not to let her worry show. 

“Um…let me think,” she says. 

She hates making decisions, but it seems like she’s on her own with this one. Finally, she decides on The Princess Bride and Summer agrees. 

Usually Summer makes comments here and there during movies, but tonight she’s completely silent the whole time. When the end credits roll, Midge looks over at her. Her eyes widen when she realizes the girl has fallen asleep. Her head is leaned back against the cushion and her eyes are closed. What should she do? Should she wake her up? Deciding that she’ll just let her sleep until Nikki deems it time to leave, Midge turns on Friends. She keeps the volume low and does her best not to make any noise. Clearly Summer needs this sleep. 

XXX

After Nikki and Summer, who was a blushing mess after being woken up, leave, Midge texts Nikki. She worries that she’s being invasive, but she’s concerned for Summer and who better to contact than the girl’s best friend?

[Midge 11:17 pm] Is Summer okay? I noticed she’s really tired. 

Nikki texts back a few minutes later. 

[Nikki 11:21 pm] Honestly I don’t know. She gets like this anytime something goes wrong. Whenever she’s going through something hard, she works out until she’s absolutely exhausted and gets no sleep. It’s this cycle she gets herself into. I don’t know how to help her…

Midge’s concern increases even further. After learning about Summer’s past and continuing to witness how she self-destructs in the present, it’s becoming clearer and clearer that Summer needs more help than any of her friends can give her. She needs a therapist. How she’ll react if advised to get one is something Midge is afraid to find out though. 

XXX

Sometimes Ingrid doesn’t know how to help Alice. Alice is like Ingrid in some ways, scarred from a turbulent past and struggling to know how to move forward. Ingrid provides her all the comfort she can, but it never feels like enough. 

As Midge reads the last section of what she wrote aloud, she can’t escape the strange feeling that Alice isn’t the character she once was. 

Chapter Text

Saturday February 28th 
11:37 am 

As Midge and Summer approach the gym located in Summer and Nikki’s dorm complex, Midge’s stomach flutters nervously. She’s not sure why she agreed to go to the gym with Summer, but there’s no turning back now. 

“I’ve never worked out at a gym before,” she says lowly. 

Summer scoffs softly. “That’s fine. That’s why I’m here to show you the ropes.”

Summer’s sincerity brings a bright smile to Midge’s face. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs. “It’s sweet of you to help me.”

Summer grins back at her. “Of course.” 

They walk in comfortable silence for a moment before Midge suddenly remembers something she’s been meaning to ask Summer. 

“Have the stitches dissolved yet?” 

“Yeah,” Summer replies, sounding relieved. “Thankfully. That was such an annoying sensation.” 

Midge winces sympathetically. “I bet. I’ve never had to get stitches before, but it sounds awful.” 

“Have you ever had any substantial injury?” Summer asks. 

“Actually, no. I’ve run into walls and stuff but nothing serious enough to need medical attention.” 

Summer giggles. “How did you manage to run into walls?” 

Midge pouts. “Heyyy. I’m a little bit clumsy, okay?” 

Summer laughs and Midge is unable to resist a smile. 

As they enter the gym, Midge’s nose is immediately assaulted by the smell of sweat. She barely manages to suppress a grimace. There are several people working out, but luckily it’s not too crowded. 

Summer turns to her. “Want to do the treadmill?” 

Midge nods. “Sure.” 

Summer leads her over to an empty treadmill. As Midge steps onto it, the butterflies in her stomach swarm faster. She hasn’t gone on a treadmill in years. What if she falls? As if reading her mind, Summer gives her a reassuring smile. 

“You won’t fall,” she says softly. “We’ll be sure to start out at a slow speed and we’ll never go too fast.” 

That makes Midge feel quite a bit better. As she grips the handlebars, Summer comes forward.

“You ready to start?” she asks, an encouraging smile on her face. 

Midge nods. “Yep.” 

Summer presses the start button and sets the speed at one mile per hour. 

“Is that good?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Midge agrees. 

After walking for a couple minutes, she decides to turn up the speed. She sets it to four miles per hour. It’s still an easy pace. 

“You’re doing great,” Summer says encouragingly. 

Midge grins, her cheeks flushed from Summer’s praise. 

She laughs softly. “Thanks. You should be a personal trainer or something. You’re amazing at this.” 

Summer smiles brightly, her cheeks suddenly dusted pink. 

“Thanks!” she exclaims. “Maybe once I’m too old and withered to play soccer professionally anymore, I’ll go into personal training.”

Midge snorts. “That sounds like a great plan. And no matter how old and withered I get, I’ll still come to the gym and have you train me.”

Summer laughs. “It would be my honor.”

XXX

After finishing at the gym, Midge and Summer go to Fruit Fusion. It’s extremely crowded, but they’re able to find a table in the corner of the shop. 

“This smoothie is amazing!” Summer exclaims. “I should come here more often.” 

Midge chuckles. “Fruit Fusion is definitely good, but you should try Buster’s Smoothies in Willows.”

Summer grins. “Ooh you’ll have to take me sometime!” 

Midge nods enthusiastically. “That would be great! I’d love to show you around Willows.” 

Recently, when she thinks about Willows, the reality of her argument with her mom and the ensuing radio silence between them hits her like a brick, and this time is no different. She keeps waiting for a text or call from the woman, but it never comes. Summer immediately notices her distress.

“Are you okay?” she murmurs, eyes wide with concern. 

Midge swallows, her throat suddenly thick. She clears her throat. 

“Yeah,” she replies quietly. 

She better change the subject or she’s going to get too sad to be able to enjoy the rest of her time with Summer. 

“So midterms are going well for you?” she asks.

She’s not sure whether the dark circles under Summer’s eyes are from late nights spent studying or if she’s still reeling from her failed basketball game. It could be a combination of both, she supposes. 

“Yeah,” Summer says quickly. “They’re going pretty well.” 

Her eyes flit around nervously. Midge suppresses the urge to frown. Summer is a terrible liar.  A wave of concern rushes through her. Summer was doing so well in school. If her reaction to Midge’s question is anything to go by, she’s falling behind again. Midge wants to help her, but she has to tread carefully. If she’s not cautious, Summer might snap at her. 

“I can tutor you again,” she says, voice filled with hesitation. 

Summer quickly shakes her head. “I’m totally fine, Midge. Thanks though.”

Midge isn’t convinced, but she reluctantly lets it go. Summer’s phone buzzes. She picks it up from the table and as she sees the notification, her eyes widen. A bright smile lights up her face. 

“Oh my God!” she exclaims gleefully. “Keaton’s been expelled! One of the frat boys just texted me!” 

All worries about Summer’s academic performance are pushed to the back of Midge’s mind as excitement courses through her. 

“Oh thank God!” she exclaims. “Take that, Keaton!”

She pumps her fist. She doesn’t know if she’s ever felt as satisfied as she does in this moment. Summer reaches across the table to high five her. Midge giggles as she claps Summer’s hand. 

“Whoo!” Summer cheers. “I’m so happy for you!” 

Midge’s eyes fill with tears of joy. 

“Thanks,” she says, her voice trembling slightly. “I’m so happy.” 

XXX

The minute Midge arrives at Barbie’s apartment for their sleepover that evening, she can tell that something is wrong with the girl. Her smile isn’t as bright as usual. Her laugh isn’t as genuine. She’s thrilled when Midge tells her about Keaton being expelled, but she goes back to acting strange afterwards. 

“I hope Raquelle’s shoot is going well,” Midge says as she and Barbie settle on the couch to watch a movie. 

Barbie gives her a small smile. “I’m sure it is. She’s a natural in front of the camera.”

Midge grins. “That she is.” 

They sit in silence for a few moments. Midge looks over at Barbie, frowning when she sees the girl’s downcast expression. She can’t take it any longer. Something is clearly wrong and she wants to get to the bottom of it. Barbie is her best friend. If she’s struggling, Midge wants to be there for her. She reaches over and takes Barbie’s hand. Barbie looks at her, eyes wide. 

“What’s wrong?” Midge murmurs. 

She gently strokes her thumb over the back of Barbie’s hand. She gasps softly as the girl’s eyes fill with tears. Immediately, she pulls her friend into her arms. Barbie hugs her back tightly and buries her face in her shoulder, choking out a sob. Midge gently rubs her back. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers. “I’m here.”

Her mind races with questions, but she figures she should wait for Barbie to calm down before asking her anything. It’s only a moment though before the girl chokes out an explanation between sobs. 

“I-I didn’t g-get chosen for the m-movie. I-I know it’s b-bratty to c-cry over it, b-but…” 

She can’t continue as sobs overwhelm her. Midge holds her tighter as her chest aches with sadness for her friend. 

“It’s not bratty,” she says, voice soft but filled with indignation. “You worked hard for that audition. You have every right to be upset. I’m so sorry.” 

“I-It’s fine,” Barbie chokes out. 

Midge gently presses her lips to the top of the girl’s head. They stay that way for several minutes, Midge holding Barbie close. 

When Barbie’s sobs dwindle to hiccups and sniffles and she slowly pulls back, Midge unsticks several strands of hair away from the girl’s face before wiping her tears. 

“I love you,” she whispers. “It’s going to be okay.” 

Barbie gives her a small, watery smile. 

“I love you too,” she croaks. “Thank you.” 

Midge chuckles. “Don’t thank me, love.” 

Barbie giggles. “Okay, I won’t. Do you want to watch a movie now?” 

Midge smiles, glad that her friend is feeling at least a little better. 

“Sure,” she agrees. “Your choice.” 

Barbie thinks for a moment before deciding on Clueless, a favorite of theirs. After Barbie starts the movie, Midge wraps her arms around the girl again. Barbie rests her head on her shoulder. They watch the movie in comfortable silence. 

As the end credits roll, Midge turns to Barbie. The girl’s eyes are fluttering sleepily. 

“You’re amazing,” she whispers. “You know that?” 

Barbie looks up at her, eyes shining. 

“Thank you,” she whispers. “So are you.” 

Midge grins, chest warm. “Thanks.” 

Soon afterwards, they fall asleep on the couch lying side by side. 

XXX
Sunday March 1st
8:12 am

As soon as Midge wakes up the next morning, a brilliant idea comes to her. She rushes into the kitchen. Barbie is flipping pancakes on the stove. 

“Barbie!” she exclaims. “You know what you need?” 

Barbie turns to her with a grin. 

“What is that?” she asks, voice light with humor. 

“A day of relaxation!” Midge exclaims. “A mani pedi and shopping at the mall!” 

Barbie’s smile brightens. “That sounds amazing!” 

“Let’s go as soon as we finish breakfast and shower!” Midge exclaims. “Do you think Raquelle will want to come?” 

“Probably not,” Barbie replies. “She loves the mall, but she has another shoot this afternoon to get ready for.” 

Midge frowns. “Aww that’s too bad. We’ll have fun though.” 

Barbie grins. “We certainly will.” 

XXX

Barbie sighs contentedly as she places her feet in the foot bath. 

“That feels amazing,” she says. 

Midge nods. “It really does.” 

They’re sitting in chairs next to each other at the mall nail salon, soaking their feet. 

“This was the perfect idea,” says Barbie. 

Midge grins. “I’m glad you think so.”

XXX

After getting their toenails and fingernails painted, they do some shopping. 

“Yay or nay?” Barbie asks, holding a sparkly pink minidress up to herself. 

Midge giggles. “Yay of course! You know I’d never say nay to your fashion sense!” 

Barbie grins, cheeks turning as pink as the dress. 

“Aww thanks,” she murmurs. “Your fashion sense is amaze too.” 

Midge smiles. “Thanks.” 

XXX

After Barbie buys the dress, they decide to go to the food court for lunch. After getting Panda Express, they walk around the crowded area, trying to find an empty table to sit at. 

“Finally!” Midge exclaims as they locate one. 

They sit down across from each other and begin to eat. Midge ordered honey walnut shrimp, as usual, and Barbie ordered orange chicken.

“Mmm,” Midge says. “Amazing as always.”

Barbie grins. “Tell me about it. I wish I could have Panda Express everyday. I…”

Her voice trails off and her eyes widen. 

“What?” Midge questions, brow furrowing in confusion. “Is something wrong?” 

“Everything’s fine,” Barbie quickly answers. “It’s just…look over there. It’s Ken…and Ryan. What are they doing together?” 

Midge quickly looks in the direction Barbie’s pointing. Sure enough. Ken and Ryan are sitting at a table together across the food court. 

“Weird,” says Midge. “What in the world are those two doing here together? They don’t even like each other.” 

Ken and Ryan are always bickering at get-togethers. They’re almost as bad as Ryan and Raquelle. 

“Should we go say hi?” Barbie asks. 

Midge shrugs. “Why not?” 

They pick up their bowls and approach the boys. As they come nearer, Midge notes the wide smiles on both boys’ faces as they talk to each other. Her confusion increases. The boys don’t notice their presence until they’re standing next to the table. Ken and Ryan’s eyes widen. 

“O-Oh,” Ken stutters. “H-Hey, girls. What’s up?” 

He laughs awkwardly. His cheeks flush and Ryan’s follow suit. Midge’s eyebrow raises and Barbie looks equally as confused. 

“Not much,” Barbie says slowly. “What are you two up to today?” 

Ryan runs his hand through his hair, an anxious habit of his.

“Not much,” he replies, his voice just as nervous as Ken’s. “Just chilling with my Kenny boy here.” 

Ken pouts. “What did I say about calling me Kenny boy?” 

Ryan winks. “You know you love it.” 

Midge’s eyebrow raises higher. This is getting weirder and weirder. There’s a few moments of awkward silence. Midge is relieved when Barbie finally breaks it. 

“Well, we’ll leave you boys to it.”

Ken laughs nervously again. “Thanks. See you girls later.” 

Barbie smiles and waggles her fingers. “See you later.” 

“Bye,” Midge says, trying to keep the bewilderment out of her voice. 

As she and Barbie walk away, they share confused looks. When they reach their table and sit back down, they sit in silence for a minute, both of them deep in thought. The way Ryan said my Kenny boy and winked at Ken? Is this just a newfound friendship or could they be…together? It only takes one glance at Barbie’s face to know that she’s thinking the same thing. 

XXX

That night, when Midge reads the last sentence of what she wrote aloud, the confused frown returns to her face. 

“Life is confusing and strange and Ingrid wishes she could have at least some semblance of what’s going on.”

Chapter Text

Monday March 2nd
8:14 pm

Summer lets out a frustrated growl, slamming her phone down with much more force than necessary. 

“Jerk!” she exclaims. 

She’s so tired of Professor Lansing getting on her back about her grade in the class. Sure, it’s slipped down to a D. And yes, all her grades are D’s now. It’s only temporary though. It’s just because she did poorly on her midterms. She’ll get back on her feet. 

Despite her irritation though, she can’t help but read the email again. As usual, she ignores the voice in her head telling her to ask Midge for help. Midge has already helped her so much. Plus, that would be admitting defeat. It would mean acknowledging that she can’t keep her grades up. It would mean confessing her weakness. Midge can’t know that she’s weak. 

XXX
10:27 pm

“Come on!” Summer hisses. “Faster!” 

She turns the treadmill speed up even higher. The burning in her muscles are increasing by the second. It’s nearly unbearable, but she can’t give up. She was weak enough to lose a basketball game. She can’t allow herself to show that weakness again. She needs to push herself as hard as she possibly can. No matter how exhausted she is, she has to prove to her coach, her teammates, her friends, herself that she’s strong, that one stupid mistake isn’t going to take her down. Sure, she’s won a game since then, but that’s not enough. She needs to work harder. As she continues to run faster and faster, she stubbornly avoids the question circling through her head: Will it ever be enough for you?

XXX
Tuesday March 3rd 
8:31 pm

Midge is over at Summer and Nikki’s dorm for a movie night, and Summer couldn't be happier. This is just what she needs right now. Technically Teresa is over too, but as usual she only saw her briefly before Teresa and Nikki went off to Nikki’s bedroom. She’d rather not think about what they’re doing in there. At the very least, they’re quiet. 

They decide to watch Bend It Like Beckham, a favorite of Summer’s. Midge has never seen it, and Summer is thrilled to be showing it to her. Summer’s just about to start the movie when she registers the sound of Midge clicking her tongue. That’s always what she does when she’s deep in thought. Wondering what she could possibly be thinking about so hard right now, she turns to the girl, who’s sitting next to her on the couch.

“Is everything okay?” she asks quietly. “You’re doing your tongue clicking thing.” 

Midge’s eyes widen. 

“O-Oh I am?” she stutters. “Sorry.” 

Summer chuckles. “Don’t be sorry. I just know that means you’re deep in thought. Is there anything you want to talk about?” 

Come to think of it, Midge has been quieter than usual tonight. A wave of concern rushes through her chest. Hopefully nothing is wrong. 

“O-Oh,” Midge stutters. “I-It’s nothing bad. It’s just…” She lets out a slightly shaky breath. “I’ve been thinking.” 

Summer’s brow furrows with confusion. “About what? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

There’s a long moment of silence. Just when Summer feels like she’s going to crawl out of her skin, Midge speaks. Her voice is soft and tentative. 

“Well,” she murmurs. “Quite honestly, I’ve been thinking about you and how tired you always seem lately. And I…” Her voice trails off. 

Summer stiffens. Her stomach clenches. She has a feeling that she’s not going to like whatever Midge is about to say. When Midge speaks again, her words come out in quick succession. 

“I-I was wondering if you’ve ever considered, um, therapy. I-I’ve done it and i-it’s really helped me.” 

When her words stumble to a stop, she shrinks in on herself, looking down at the floor. Clearly she’s nervous about Summer’s reaction and she should be. A flare of defensiveness surges through Summer’s chest. 

“That’s none of your business, is it?!” she snaps. 

Midge flinches. She crosses her arms over her chest. Summer is too angry to feel bad for the girl or regret what she just said though. Suddenly, she’s at a loss for words. She doesn’t know what else to say. 

“I-I’m not weak, okay?” she says. 

She hates how defeated her voice sounds. Midge’s head snaps up and she shoots Summer a glare. Suddenly realizing how what she just said could be interpreted, a wave of panic bursts through Summer’s body. She opens her mouth to explain herself, but Midge beats her to it. 

“Are you saying I’m weak?” she says, her voice dangerously low. 

“N-No!” Summer exclaims. “O-Of course not! I…” 

Midge cuts her off. “You know what, Summer? Not everybody is masochistic like you. Some of us deal with our pain in healthy ways.” 

Summer flinches. Midge’s words sting, but she knows they’re true. Plus, it’s the least she deserves to hear after what she just said. Her heart pounds harder as she takes in Midge’s expression. Her eyes are shimmering with tears and her lip is trembling. Her stomach churns with nausea. She can’t believe she hurt Midge like this. She’s a jerk through and through, and now Midge knows it. Still, she has to explain herself even if Midge won’t forgive her. Even if she won’t forgive herself. 

“Listen, Midge,” she says, trying to keep her voice level. “E-Everything makes me feel weak, okay? Everything. I-I didn’t mean that getting therapy is weak. I just meant that…” She lets out a shaky breath. “It makes me feel weak. I don’t think you’re weak! Please believe me!” 

Her voice is bordering on hysterical now, but she can’t help it. She can’t stand the thought of losing Midge. 

“I-I’m so sorry, Midge,” she says. “Please forgive me. I’m sorry.”

She despises the way her voice trembles. Regret and fear has completely overwhelmed her though. There’s a moment of silence. Summer can feel the tension in the air, like a rubber band about to snap. When Midge speaks and her voice is soft and soothing, Summer doesn’t know if she’s ever felt so relieved. 

“Of course I forgive you, Summer,” she murmurs. “I-I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it.” 

Summer lets out a long, shaky breath. It takes her a moment to find her voice, but Midge waits patiently. 

“It was still wrong to say,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry.” 

Midge sighs softly. “Wrong or not, you’re genuinely sorry and I forgive you. I-I shouldn’t have overstepped in the first place. I’m sorry too.” 

Summer quickly shakes her head. “D-Don’t be sorry. You just care about me. You…” 

Her voice trails off. She doesn’t know what to say. The thought of how much Midge cares about her makes her eyes burn hotter. She flinches as Midge takes her hand, but as the girl gently squeezes, her muscles relax. 

“I do care about you,” Midge murmurs. “And I know you care about me too. Your friendship means the world to me and one blunt comment isn’t going to ruin what we have. I promise.” 

Summer’s eyes sting even harder. All of a sudden, the urge to confess the things that are going on right now, the things that make her weak, is too overwhelming to suppress. 

“I-I have bad grades again,” she stutters. “E-Ever since I lost that basketball game, I-I’ve been pushing myself too hard a-and my grades are suffering because of it.” She scoffs harshly. “I’m such an idiot.” 

Midge squeezes her hand tighter. 

“You are not, ” she says sternly. “Struggling doesn’t make you an idiot. It makes you human.” Her voice grows quieter. “You know it’s okay to ask for help…right?” 

Summer bites her lip. It’s getting harder and harder to hold her tears back. She’s not sure why something as seemingly simple as sympathy reduces her to this state. Is she really that desperate for comfort? She knows the answer, but she doesn’t want to admit it, even to herself. She swallows and clears her throat, praying that her words will come out smoothly.

“Yes,” she murmurs. Somehow she manages to not sound choked up. “Can you help me? Please.” 

She’s not sure if words have ever been more difficult for her to say, but this is Midge. Midge brings out her soft side, her insecurities, her vulnerability like nobody else. 

“Of course I’ll help you,” Midge murmurs, squeezing her hand. “Whatever you need, I’m here.” She sighs softly. “Now how about a hug?” 

Summer doesn’t have to think twice. She immediately pulls Midge into her arms, embracing her fiercely. Midge hugs her back just as tightly. 

“Thank you,” Summer whispers. “For not giving up on me.” 

Her eyes sting again. She bites her lip so hard, the skin tears. 

Midge scoffs softly. “Give up on you? That’s crazy talk. I could never.” 

Summer just about sobs right then and there. It’s only the voice in the back of her head still calling her weak that stops her.

XXX

Midge ends up staying the night. She claimed that a sleepover is in order to cheer Summer up. Summer doesn’t need cheering up. She’s fine. She didn’t argue though. A sleepover with Midge doesn’t sound bad at all. It actually sounds like a lot of fun. Of course Teresa immediately agrees to a sleepover with Nikki. Summer suspects there isn’t going to be much sleeping going on with those two though. 

Midge and Summer stretch out on the couch, a bowl of popcorn between them as they watch Bend It Like Beckham. Summer’s heart has stopped pounding and her breathing has evened out. She knows she’ll still be beating herself up over what she said for a while, but for now Midge’s soft, steady presence has lulled her into a state of calm.

About halfway through the movie, Midge turns to her with a grin. 

“I don’t usually like sports movies, but this is so good,” she murmurs. 

Summer smiles, her chest warming. “I’m so glad you like it.” 

They go back to watching the movie in silence. 

When the end credits roll, Summer turns to Midge. The girl’s eyes are fluttering sleepily. 

“Do you want to sleep in my bed?” Summer asks, her voice soft. “I don’t mind crashing on the couch.” 

Midge stifles a yawn behind her hand. 

“You’re so chivalrous,” she murmurs. “But I’m fine on the couch.” 

Midge’s compliment sends a swarm of butterflies fluttering through Summer’s stomach. She’s never been called chivalrous before. Does Midge really think she is? Midge thinking about her that way makes Summer surprisingly giddy. It takes her a moment to find her voice.

“A-Are you sure?” she stutters. 

Her face flushes. Hopefully Midge is too tired to wonder why she’s stumbling over her words. 

“I’m sure,” Midge whispers. 

She lies down on her side, resting her head on a pillow. She closes her eyes and sighs softly. 

“Good night, Summer,” she murmurs. 

Summer swallows. For some reason, her throat is suddenly parched.

“Good night, Midge,” she whispers. “Sweet dreams.”

Chapter Text

Saturday March 7th 
11:16 am

As soon as they step onto the beach, Summer turns to Midge. “So what do you want to do first?”

Midge shrugs. “Whatever you’d like.”

Summer should’ve known that would be Midge’s answer. The girl is the biggest people pleaser she’s ever met. 

“Come on, Midge. You like almost never go to the beach. I want to give you a good time.”

Midge smiles softly. “I’m already having a good time. I can’t believe you were able to find such a secluded spot in Malibu of all places.”

Summer grins. “I found this spot a few years ago. It’s great. I always come here when I want to surf in peace.” 

Midge’s smile disappears and a concerned frown takes its place. “You surf without anybody around? Is that safe?” 

Summer waves her hand dismissively. “Of course. I’m practically a professional.” 

Midge’s smile returns. 

“You’re just a professional at everything I guess,” she says, a teasing lilt to her voice. 

Summer scoffs, but can’t suppress an amused smile. “Hey! Watch it!” 

Midge giggles. “Nope. I’ll never watch it.” 

Summer opens her mouth to answer with a sassy retort when Midge speaks again. 

“Okay. If what we do first is really up to me I want to make a sandcastle.” 

“Sure,” Summer agrees. 

She hasn’t built a sandcastle since she was a kid and building one alone sounds extremely boring, but everything she does with Midge is fun. 

Midge grins. “Awesome! Let’s build it over there!” She points to a spot about ten feet away. 

Summer nods. “Sounds good.” 

As they begin to build the sandcastle, Midge snorts. “I used to build the most elaborate sandcastles when I was a kid. I only went to the beach once every couple years or so when we visited family in New York, but I always took full advantage of the sand.” 

Summer chuckles. “I can tell. You’re a pro at this. I definitely can’t keep up.” 

Midge giggles. “Thanks. And that’s fine, Summer. This isn’t a competition.” 

Summer smiles sheepishly. “I’m just kind of used to everything being a competition.”

“I know,” Midge murmurs. “But when it’s just you and me nothing is a competition, okay?” 

Summer smiles softly, her chest warming as she hears the sincerity in Midge’s voice. 

“Thanks,” she says quietly. 

Midge grins. “No problem.” 

A comfortable silence falls over them as they continue to construct the sandcastle. Midge is the only person Summer feels comfortable being silent around. With everybody else she feels the need to always keep conversations going, but with Midge she can just exist. She’s never felt more at ease with a person before. She knows how strange that is, considering she’s only known Midge for about six months, but it’s the way she feels and maybe for once she should just accept the way she feels without questioning it. 

XXX
12:14 pm

“Are you sure about this, Summer?” Midge asks, voice filled with uncertainty. 

“Of course,” Summer replies, voice confident. “I’ll be right next to you the whole time.” 

“I’ve never been out this deep before,” Midge admits. 

Summer turns to look at Midge. The girl is slowly making her way through the surf. Summer’s having to walk much slower than she normally would, but she doesn’t mind. She’ll do anything to make Midge as comfortable as the girl makes her. 

“We don’t have to do this,” she assures. “If you just want to go back to shore, that’s fine.” 

Midge shakes her head. “No. I need to do this. I need to get myself out of my comfort zone more and what better activity is there for that than surfing?” 

Summer chuckles. “True.” 

They walk in silence for a moment. Summer starts as Midge grabs her hand. 

“That’s a big wave coming!” the girl exclaims. 

“It’ll be fine,” Summer murmurs. “I promise I’ll keep you safe.” 

Blood rushes into her cheeks as Midge grips her hand tighter. She looks down, hoping Midge doesn’t notice her flushed face. Saying such heartfelt words doesn't come naturally to her. That’s definitely why she’s blushing. 

The wave comes and goes. 

“See?” Summer says, her tone encouraging. “It’s no biggie.” 

Midge nods. “You’re right.”

When Summer deems them far enough out to surf, she turns to Midge. “Ready to surf?” 

Midge nods again, a determined expression on her face. 

“Sure thing,” she replies, voice filled with confidence. 

Summer used to teach surfing lessons to children. She’s not great with kids, but the job paid well. Therefore, she knows exactly how to instruct Midge. 

Over about the next two hours, Midge continuously falls off the board. She constantly comes back to the surface coughing and sputtering. Summer suggests they take a break a few times, but Midge is determined to improve. 

Finally, their hard work pays off and Midge is able to balance on the board for several seconds. Summer claps excitedly and cheers. When Midge jumps off the board and lands next to her, Summer pats her on the back. 

“Way to go, Midge!” she exclaims. “You did amazing!” 

Midge giggles. “Thanks! I think I’ll take you up on that break now.” 

Summer chuckles. “Sounds good.” 

XXX

After coming back to the shore, they sit down in the sand. They’re sitting so close together that their thighs are touching. Summer’s face flushes again. Of course it makes sense that she is. Midge is a beautiful girl and their skin is touching. Summer’s nervousness doesn’t mean anything. It’s not like appreciating her beauty means she has feelings for her. 

Midge gives her a soft smile. “Thank you for teaching me how to surf. I really appreciate it. You’re an excellent teacher.”

Summer’s face burns hotter. She looks down at the sand, praying that Midge doesn’t notice her blush. 

“Thanks. I used to teach kids, so I have experience. I have to say, teaching you is far preferable to teaching snot-nosed children.” 

Midge giggles. “Not a fan of kids?” 

Summer shrugs. “They’re fine I guess, but they always have snot coming out of their nose. What’s with that?” 

Midge laughs. “You’ve got a point. I’ve done a lot of babysitting and kids are germy creatures.” 

Summer’s cheeks are beginning to cool. She looks up and turns to Midge. 

“Do you like kids?” she asks. 

Midge nods. “Love them. I want to have at least two someday.” 

Summer chuckles. “That’s a lot of kids.”

Midge laughs. “Two isn’t that much. Do you want kids?” 

Summer shrugs. “Maybe. It’s just…the thought of loving somebody that much…it’s almost scary. What if something happened to them?” 

She bites her lip, suddenly nervous. She hopes Midge knows what she means. When Midge gives her an understanding smile, she relaxes. 

“I get it,” Midge says, her voice soft. “We’re constantly at risk of losing the people we love though. That’s just life. And as for the love…you’ve got a lot of love to give, Summer.” 

Summer’s face immediately burns again. She quickly looks down. She doesn’t know if she’s ever received such a kind compliment before. She knows she’ll stutter if she answers, but she can’t ignore Midge. 

She swallows. “Th-Thanks, Midge. That means a lot.” 

“Of course,” Midge murmurs. “I mean it. You’re great.” 

Summer’s not sure if her face has ever blazed with this much heat. 

“Th-Thanks,” she stutters. “Y-You are too.” 

“Thanks.” 

Hopefully Midge didn’t notice her stuttering. A silence falls over them then. This isn’t a comfortable silence like earlier though. It’s like there’s an electrical charge between them. Summer’s never experienced a silence like this. It’s not unpleasant though. It’s just different. She experiences feelings around Midge that she never has before, but these emotions aren’t unwelcome. They’re thrilling and fresh and she wants to understand them. She’s just not sure if she can.

Chapter Text

Tuesday March 10th 
5:24 pm

Midge knocks on Summer’s dorm room door for the third time. Why in the world isn’t she answering?! And why hasn’t she texted or called her back?! Midge has been texting and calling her for over an hour now, but all she’s getting from Summer is radio silence. She’s nearing a full-on panic. Summer never ignores her like this.

After a fourth knock goes unanswered, Midge can’t take it anymore. She pounds on the door much harder than before. 

“Summer!” she yells. “Are you there?!” 

A girl passing by her in the hall gives her a strange look, but Midge doesn’t care. She’s too focused on making sure her friend is okay to be self-conscious. 

When Summer finally opens the door, Midge is so relieved that tears fill her eyes. 

“Oh my God, Summer!” she exclaims, her voice shaking slightly. She places a hand over her racing heart. “You really scared me! Why haven’t you been answering my texts or calls?!”

Summer blinks a few times, like she’s coming out of a stupor. 

“Oh,” she croaks. “Sorry. I was sleeping.” 

Midge’s eyes narrow. Why is Summer’s voice so hoarse? And why isn’t she getting ready for basketball practice? 

“What’s going on?” Midge asks, her voice soft. “Why aren’t you getting ready for practice?” 

Summer lets out a ragged gasp. Her eyes widen. 

“Oh my God!” she exclaims. Her voice cracks. “I forgot! I-”

She’s cut off by a coughing fit. She turns away from Midge, coughing into the crook of her arm. The coughs are harsh and sound painful. Midge winces. 

When Summer’s coughs slow to a stop and she turns around, Midge takes in the girl’s appearance. Her eyes widen as she realizes how awful she looks. Dark circles are under her eyes, her forehead is beaded with sweat, her face is flushed, and her nose is pink. She’s also wearing her pajamas despite it being evening.

“Oh Summer, you're sick,” she murmurs, sympathy tugging at her chest. 

Summer blinks a few more times. She’s clearly having a hard time focusing. Suddenly, her eyes widen again. 

“Oh!” she exclaims, her voice cracking again. “Practice!” 

She turns around, but all of a sudden she stops. She grips the doorframe. 

“Dizzy?” Midge murmurs. 

Summer shakes her head. “I’m fine. I-I’ve got to get ready for practice.” 

Midge scoffs as indignation flares to life in her chest. “Summer, you are absolutely not going to basketball practice! Look at you! You can barely stay standing!” 

Summer whips her head around and shoots Midge a glare. 

“You can’t tell me what to do,” she snaps. 

Midge glares back. “Well, what’s the alternative? Collapsing during practice? Getting even sicker? Making your teammates sick?” 

Summer’s glare grows even sharper. “I’m fine, Midge. I’ve played sports when I was sick before. I can do this.” 

She tries to take a step but immediately stumbles. Midge steps forward and wraps an arm around her waist, holding her steady. 

“Have you drank any fluids today?” she asks. 

She tries not to sound too bossy, but it’s hard not to when it’s so clear that Summer has been taking such bad care of herself. 

“Yeah,” Summer croaks. “I had a cup of water.” 

“One cup of water?!” she exclaims. “That’s nowhere near enough! That’s it. You’re getting into bed, I’m taking your temperature, and then I’m making you a cup of tea.” 

Summer scoffs. “No! I don’t have time for that! I-” 

She’s interrupted by a string of sneezes. She turns her head away from Midge, sneezing into her elbow. The sneezes are hard and are clearly painful if Summer’s wince is anything to go by. Midge frowns sympathetically. 

“Bless you,” she murmurs. 

Summer sighs. “Thanks.” 

“Please don’t go to practice, Summer,” Midge murmurs. “You’re so sick and it’s going to get so much worse if you play basketball right now. Just please let me take care of you.” 

Midge can see the internal battle Summer is fighting in her eyes. It’s clear that she wants to prove she’s tough, but it’s also evident that she’s feeling absolutely awful and will likely pass out if she plays a sport right now. There’s several moments of silence. Midge waits patiently. Finally, Summer answers. 

She sighs heavily. “Fineee. I won’t go. I don’t need you to take care of me though. You can just go home. I don't want to get you sick.” 

She barely finishes her sentence before she bursts into another coughing fit. Midge reaches over and rubs her back. When the coughs come to a stop, Midge speaks again. 

“I’m not leaving you like this,” she says determinedly. “And anyways, I don’t trust you to not go to practice if I leave.” 

Summer rolls her eyes, but she doesn't say another word. Midge smiles, satisfied. 

“Come on,” she murmurs. “Let’s get you to bed.” 

She keeps her arm wrapped securely around Summer’s waist as she leads her to her bedroom. Summer stumbles slightly, but Midge holds her tight.

“Where’s Nikki?” she asks. “I can’t believe she’d leave you like this.” 

“Don’t blame her,” Summer croaks. “She left before I woke up. I only got like this today.” 

“Oh, I see. Okay.”

Summer’s bedroom floor is covered in tissues. She lets go of Summer as they reach her bed. Summer sits down on the edge. 

“Have you checked your temperature yet?” Midge asks. 

Summer shakes her head. She looks down, clearly knowing that Midge isn’t going to be happy. Midge sighs deeply. A wave of concern rushes through her as she places her hand on Summer’s forehead. 

“Summer, you’re burning up!” she exclaims. “Where’s the thermometer?” 

“Cabinet over the bathroom sink.” 

Midge hurries to the bathroom. She returns a few moments later with the thermometer. 

“Open up,” she orders. 

Summer rolls her eyes but obliges. Midge’s eyes widen as she reads the result. Her concern grows sharper. 

“102.6. That’s really high, Summer! Here, lie down. I’m going to get you a cool washcloth.” 

“I don’t need one,” Summer grumbles. 

Midge rolls her eyes. She’s already had it up to here with Summer’s stubbornness. 

“Lie down,” she repeats, her voice more stern this time. 

“Fine,” Summer snaps. 

After she lies down, Midge heads to the bathroom. After running a washcloth under cool water, she brings it back to Summer. 

“Stay still,” she murmurs. 

Summer lets out a contented sigh as Midge gently wipes the cloth over her face. Midge smiles, amused. She’s tempted to teasingly ask Summer if that feels good, but she fights the urge. 

After wiping Summer’s face for a few moments, she sets the washcloth on the nightstand. 

“I’m going to make you some tea now,” she says, her voice soft. 

“I don’t drink tea,” Summer grumbles. 

“Well, you do now. Do you have tea in your dorm? I can run back to mine to grab some.” 

Summer sighs. “Nikki drinks tea sometimes. She has some of those tea bag thingies in one of the kitchen cabinets. Don’t ask me which one.” 

Midge smiles. “Okay. Be back in a few.” 

XXX

When she reenters the bedroom a few minutes later with the tea, Summer is having another coughing fit. Her face is buried in the pillow as her body heaves with coughs. Midge winces sympathetically. Summer groans with frustration as her coughing stops. She slowly sits up. 

“Ugh,” she croaks. “I’m so tired of coughing.” 

“I know,” Midge murmurs. “I’m sorry. Here. The tea should help your throat. I put lots of honey in.” 

She hands Summer the mug. 

“Thanks,” Summer croaks. 

“Of course.” 

Midge sits down next to Summer. They sit in comfortable silence as Summer drinks her tea. She’s surprised by how quickly the girl downs it. When Summer finishes, she sets the mug on her nightstand. 

“Did you like it?” Midge asks. 

“Yeah. It was pretty good.” 

Midge opens her mouth to respond, but is cut off as Summer has another sneezing fit. The sneezes are muffled against her arm, but Midge can tell how forceful they are by the way Summer’s body keels over with each one. 

“Bless you,” Midge murmurs as the sneezing finally comes to a stop. 

“Ugh,” Summer groans. “Thanks.” 

Midge grabs the box of tissues from the nightstand and hands it to her. 

“Thanks,” Summer repeats. 

She takes one out and wipes her nose. 

“Are you hungry?” Midge asks. “I can make you some soup.” 

Summer shakes her head. “Not hungry.” 

Midge frowns softly. “I know the illness is making you lose your appetite, but you should eat. It’s almost six. Have you eaten anything today?” 

“No,” Summer admits, looking down. 

Midge sighs gently. “I’m going to make you some soup. You’re not going to get better for a long time if you don’t give your body any nutrition.” 

Summer grumbles, but she doesn’t argue. 

XXX

Looking through the kitchen cabinets, Midge finds some chicken noodle soup. 

“Perfect,” she says. 

After heating it up, she brings it to Summer. She also brings a glass of water. Summer is lying down. Her eyes are closed. Midge frowns sympathetically. 

“Summer?” she says quietly. “Are you awake?” 

Summer’s eyes shoot open. 

“Uh huh,” she croaks. 

“Why don’t you sit up?” Midge murmurs. “I have some soup and water for you.” 

Summer grunts as she slowly sits up. As soon as she sits up, she squeezes her eyes shut. 

“Dizzy?” Midge questions, her voice soft. 

Summer nods. 

“I’m sorry,” Midge murmurs. 

Summer opens her eyes a moment later. “It’s fine.” 

Her voice is growing weaker by the moment. It’s clear that she’s getting more and more exhausted. 

“You can sleep after you have this soup and drink some water,” Midge says gently. 

Summer nods. 

“Thanks,” she croaks as Midge hands her the bowl of soup and glass of water. 

“No problem.” 

Midge sits next to her. Summer takes a few sips of water. 

"Take a few more sips," Midge prompts. 

Summer groans but obliges. Afterwards, she sets the glass on the nightstand. She then devours the soup. Clearly her body has now registered how much it needs food. It only takes Summer a couple minutes to finish the soup. She sets the bowl on her nightstand when she’s done. 

“Tell me what you need,” Midge murmurs. “When’s the last time you took Motrin? I can get you some.” 

Summer furrows her eyebrows. “Uh, I don’t know.” 

Her eyes flutter sleepily. Her words are becoming slurred. Clearly she’s growing delirious, in addition to her fever.

“Why don’t you just sleep?” Midge suggests, her voice gentle. 

As if on cue, Summer stifles a yawn behind her hand. 

“Here,” Midge murmurs. “Lie down.” 

Summer immediately obeys. 

“Do you want me to go into the living room?” Midge asks. 

Summer shakes her head. “No, you can stay.” 

Midge nods. 

Summer sighs. “I don’t feel so good, Midge.” 

Midge raises an eyebrow. Summer’s delirium must be increasing. 

“I know, honey,” she murmurs. “I can tell.” 

The pet name slips out instinctively. Her face flushes when she realizes what she said. 

Summer groans. “Laying down is making my congestion worse.” 

Midge frowns sympathetically. “You should prop your head up. You-You can lay your head in my lap if you’d like.”

Her cheeks blaze hotter. Her stomach flutters. Why in the world did she suggest that?! Summer can just lie her head on a pile of pillows. It’s like she can’t control herself though. Suddenly, all she wants is Summer close. The butterflies in her stomach begin to swarm as Summer crawls over and rests her head in her lap. She swallows. Unable to resist the temptation, she runs her fingers through the girl’s hair. Her hair feels like silk between her fingers.

“Just go to sleep,” she murmurs. “You’ll feel better soon.” 

She has the sudden urge to kiss Summer’s forehead. She takes a deep, shaky breath, squeezing her eyes shut as she’s hit with a realization that knocks the wind out of her. This isn’t only about comforting Summer. As she looks down at the girl sleeping on her lap, it becomes crystal clear. She wants to be with her. She loves her. 

XXX
10:47 pm

As Ingrid watches Alice wade deeper into the river, giggling as the fish tickle her feet, she realizes she’s never felt this strongly about another person. She loves Alice more than she’s ever loved anything. 

Midge stops typing. She puts her head in her hands. 

“Cut the crap, Midge,” she mutters. 

She can’t hide from reality any longer. Ingrid isn’t just somebody she relates to. Ingrid is her. And Alice? She wasn’t originally Summer of course, but now she undoubtedly is. Midge can’t deny the truth anymore. But now that all this has come to the surface, she doesn’t know what to do next. She can’t tell Summer how she feels. Summer would never be into a girl like her. Summer is a popular, admired athlete with loads of charisma and a perfect body. Midge is just…well, Midge. Short and pale with zero muscle mass and too many freckles. No. Summer wouldn’t want to be with her. She’s going to have to keep her love a secret even if it destroys her.