Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The night was unusually quiet for Hogwarts.

The four Marauders were stretched out across the Astronomy Tower floor, half-empty bottles of Firewhisky between them, and an unspoken agreement to avoid talking about their parents, schoolwork, or Voldemort for once.

"So what if McGonagall catches us out of bed?" James was saying, waving a hand lazily. "She'll give me that disappointed look — you know, the one where she’s trying not to smile but also kinda wants to kill me."

Sirius snorted. "What, the same one she gives you when you exist?"

James pointed a finger at him, grinning. "Exactly."

But then Remus, who'd been half-listening and half-watching the grounds below, sat up suddenly.

"Er, Pads... isn't that your brother?"

Sirius blinked, groaning. "Don’t start with him tonight, Moony, I’m trying to not think about—"

"No, seriously. Look."

Sirius squinted down over the edge, frowning. Sure enough, there was Regulus Black, cloaked in dark robes, slipping through the grounds with that "too-posh-for-life" walk of his, like the world should part for him.

But he wasn’t heading toward the castle or Slytherin dorms. He was sneaking toward... The Whomping Willow?

"You're joking," Sirius muttered, sitting up straight now.

"What is he doing?" Remus murmured, narrowing his eyes.

"Probably off to have a tea party with Voldemort," Peter whispered dramatically.

James leaned forward, grinning. "Let's follow him."

"Why the hell would we follow Regulus?" Sirius asked, though he was already on his feet.

"Because I’m bored, and that—" James pointed as Regulus checked over his shoulder, "—is suspicious as hell."

And with that, the Marauders were off, sneaking after Regulus like a pack of overgrown, half-drunk cats.

Fifteen Minutes Later — Hogsmeade

Following Regulus through the tunnel had been easy. Too easy. Sirius was itching with curiosity, and he hated that it was Regulus making him feel this way.

Once outside in Hogsmeade, they stayed close to the shadows, watching as Regulus walked straight past the usual haunts — not toward Honeydukes, not toward The Three Broomsticks — but toward a dodgy alley near the edge of town.

"Bit far for a stroll, isn’t it?" James whispered.

But Sirius was silent, watching carefully. Something about Regulus felt... different.

And then, as they ducked behind an empty carriage, Barty Crouch Jr. came into view.

"Bloody hell," Remus breathed.

There was Barty, cigarette in hand, leaning against the wall like he owned the place — which, knowing him, he probably thought he did.

"Since when do those two hang out?" Peter whispered.

Barty grinned when he saw Regulus. "You're late."

Regulus just snatched the cigarette from his lips, took a long drag like it was nothing, and exhaled. "Deal with it."

Sirius’s mouth went dry.

Then Regulus stepped in close — way too close — and kissed Barty like he meant it.

"WHAT—" Sirius started, but James slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

They watched in stunned silence as Regulus smirked against Barty’s lips, then pulled away, muttering something low that made Barty laugh.

"Are they—?" Peter whispered, looking like he was about to faint.

Remus let out a sharp breath. "I think they are."

Barty flicked the cigarette away and grabbed Regulus’s hand, pulling him deeper into the alley.

"Well," James said after a long pause. "I was not expecting that."

"No," Sirius said faintly, still staring after them. "Me neither."

Later That Night — Gryffindor Common Room

The moment they were safe back in Gryffindor Tower, Sirius threw himself onto the couch and ran both hands down his face.

"Alright," James said, pacing. "Let's make a list, yeah? Everything we now know about Regulus Black."

"One," Remus said, holding up a finger. "He’s shagging Barty Crouch Jr."

"Two, apparently he smokes."

"Three, he sneaks off to the Muggle world to meet up with him," Peter added.

"Four," Sirius said, voice strained, "he's a bloody liar, 'cause all he ever does is play perfect Black at school."

"And five..." James said, grinning now, "he’s actually cooler than we thought."

Sirius shot him a look.

Remus gave a small laugh. "Alright, Pads, but seriously... doesn't this mean he's... not the pureblood-obsessed little prick you always said he was?"

Sirius was silent, chewing his lip.

"I mean," James nudged him, "you hate your parents, right? What if he does too?"

"Doesn't mean he’s not still a little shit," Sirius muttered, but he sounded less sure than usual.

Peter flopped into an armchair, wide-eyed. "I can't believe Regulus Black might actually be — like — human."

"More than human," James snorted. "Did you see him with Barty? That was filthy."

"Gross," Sirius said automatically.

But somewhere deep in his chest, something tugged — a mix of shock, confusion, and maybe a little...pride?

His brother — the perfect Black heir — sneaking out, dating boys, smoking, and hanging out with Muggles.

Maybe Regulus wasn't who he thought he was.

Maybe he never had been.

Chapter Text

The next few days were hell for Sirius.

Every time he saw Regulus at meals, in the corridors, or even across the bloody Quidditch pitch — standing there with that cold, perfect mask of his — Sirius could only see him pressed against Barty Crouch Jr., smoking like he owned the world and smirking like he knew exactly how much of a mess he was.

And Sirius hated that he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Pads,” James said for probably the tenth time that day as they sat in Transfiguration, watching McGonagall fix her glasses in that sharp way that meant someone was about to be hexed. “You’ve been glaring at your ink pot for like twenty minutes. You’re gonna set it on fire.”

"Maybe I should set him on fire," Sirius muttered darkly.

“You say that, but I think you’re actually spiralling,” Remus added quietly, leaning closer.

"I am not spiralling," Sirius snapped.

"You literally spent breakfast muttering 'who does he think he is' into your porridge," Peter whispered.

James grinned. "And accidentally called Remus 'Regulus' when he passed the toast."

"Shut up."

Later — Marauder Spying Shenanigans™

By the time Friday rolled around, James was itching for more gossip.

"Look," he said, pushing open the map in front of them like it was the holy grail, "he’s heading out again. Near the dungeons, look. And— wait for it — Barty's following."

"No," Sirius muttered. "No way, I’m not—"

"Oh yes you are," James grinned. "We are so following them."

And so they did.

Sneaking through the dungeons, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter kept low, hiding behind statues and empty suits of armour.

Eventually, they trailed Regulus and Barty to an empty classroom — and what they saw through the crack in the door froze them to the spot.

Inside, the walls were lined with Muggle weapons. Actual, gleaming, dangerous weapons. Knives, daggers, throwing stars — things Sirius couldn’t even name.

Regulus stood near a long desk, lazily turning a switchblade over in his hands, blade glinting under torchlight.

“You think this’ll do it?” Regulus asked, smirking, tossing the blade to Barty, who caught it with a grin.

“Would kill a man in seconds," Barty said cheerfully, twirling it like a toy.

“Merlin,” Peter whispered.

“Shhh!” James hissed, eyes wide.

“I swear to Merlin, if Mulciber runs his mouth about me again,” Regulus was saying, “I’ll slit his throat in his sleep.”

"You'll have to race me to it," Barty laughed, leaning in to kiss him, messy and rough.

Regulus grinned against his lips, but then shoved him playfully away. “Prat.”

“Oh my God,” Remus whispered. “He’s not just sneaking out for fun — he’s— he’s dangerous.”

"And he’s got plans," James added, looking half-thrilled, half-terrified.

Sirius just stared, jaw locked tight.

Because that wasn’t the "perfect heir" his family worshipped. That was someone else. Someone who clearly didn’t give a damn about what was expected.

And... part of Sirius hated how impressed he was.

The Smoking Tree™ — Next Day

Later, perched on their usual spot by the tree near the lake, the Marauders were buzzing about what they'd seen.

“Weapons, Moony," James kept saying. "Weapons! Like— Muggle ones! Knives, swords, machetes! Who just has a machete?”

“And he’s— I mean— he’s smoking weed with the Hufflepuffs, did you see?” Peter added, still wide-eyed. "I didn't even think Regulus knew what weed was!"

Remus shook his head, clearly shaken but trying to stay calm. "He knew. He definitely knew."

Sirius sat a little apart from them, arms crossed, mood black as ever.

"I don't get it," he muttered finally, glaring out over the lake. "He's supposed to be this perfect, golden son, right? Mum and Dad's shining star. Always better than me."

James nudged him. "Mate... I think you’re realizing he’s been faking it, too."

Remus looked thoughtful. "Maybe he doesn’t believe in all that blood purity rubbish either. Maybe he never did."

"And maybe he’s just as angry about it all as you are," Peter said softly.

Sirius's throat felt tight.

Cut to: A Wild Regulus Appears™

As if summoned, Regulus strolled out onto the grounds, hands in his pockets, black coat swaying behind him. And... he was walking toward them.

Shit.

James elbowed Sirius. “Play it cool.”

Regulus raised a brow as he got closer, smirking like he knew they’d been watching him.

“Potter. Lupin. Pettigrew,” he said, nodding at each of them, then pausing as his eyes fell on Sirius. “Brother.”

Sirius glared. “What do you want, Regulus?”

Regulus tilted his head. "Just wanted to see if the Gryffindors were still hiding behind their little tree. Looks like I was right."

James bristled. "Mate, we saw you."

Regulus gave a sharp, cold smile. "Did you now?"

"With Crouch," Remus said carefully. "The knives. The drugs."

"Not a secret, Lupin," Regulus said with a shrug. "Not to the right people."

"And what are you? The 'right people'?" Sirius sneered.

Regulus stepped closer, eyes glinting. "Maybe I just got tired of pretending to be what Mother wanted. Maybe I got tired of being you, Sirius. The 'bad one.' Maybe I’m worse than you ever were."

The air went cold.

Then, Regulus smirked again, but softer, almost sad. "Or maybe... maybe I’m just trying to survive."

And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away, dark robes trailing behind him like smoke.

The Marauders sat there in stunned silence.

"...Well," James said finally, exhaling, "that was a lot."

Sirius just stared after his brother, a storm brewing in his chest.

Chapter Text

The next time Sirius saw Regulus, it was not by accident.
He made damn sure of that.

Storming through the dungeons like a man on a mission, Sirius ignored James and Remus hissing at him to "calm down, for Merlin's sake" — because no, actually, he would not calm down, thank you very much.

"You can't just confront him like this, Pads," James muttered, trying to keep up. "What if he's dangerous? I mean, you saw the knives."

"Let him be dangerous," Sirius growled. "See if I give a shit."

They found Regulus exactly where Sirius knew he would be: that abandoned classroom, his little den of secrets, sharpening one of his many ridiculous knives while Barty sprawled in a chair nearby, smoking like it was his last day on earth.

"Regulus," Sirius snapped, standing in the doorway like an accusation.

Regulus didn’t even look up. "Brother," he said calmly, as if Sirius wasn’t fuming and shaking in front of him. "Come to see my collection?"

Sirius strode in, ignoring James and Remus lingering at the door. "What the fuck, Regulus."

Barty grinned lazily, blowing a stream of smoke toward the ceiling. "Ooooh, someone's in a mood."

"Shut it, Crouch," Sirius growled.

Regulus' eyes finally flicked up, sharp and dangerous. "Careful, Sirius. You’re in my space now."

"Your space? What, the dungeon knife gallery?!" Sirius snapped. "What the hell are you even doing, Reg?"

Regulus stood slowly, and for the first time in years, Sirius realized his little brother wasn’t little anymore. Tall, sharp, eyes like winter steel.

"I'm surviving," Regulus said coldly.

"By what, shagging Barty Crouch and playing with murder toys?" Sirius shot back. "By getting high off your ass with the Hufflepuffs? By sneaking off to Muggle London like you're not the heir to the House of Black?"

Regulus' jaw tightened. "Better than living like a chained dog, pretending to be something I'm not."

"You think this is freedom?!" Sirius yelled. "You're just— you're just burning your life down, Reg!"

Barty laughed, standing to casually sling an arm around Regulus. "Maybe he likes the fire, Black."

Sirius' eyes darkened. "Get off him."

"Oh?" Barty smirked, pulling Regulus closer like a dare. "Jealous, Sirius? Wish you had him all to yourself again?"
Regulus tensed, and Sirius snapped.

"He's my brother!" Sirius shouted. "He's not— he's not your toy, Crouch!"

"I'm not a toy," Regulus cut in, sharp and cold. "And I'm not yours to protect, Sirius. You left. Remember? You left me."

The words hit Sirius like a punch to the gut.
"I— I didn’t have a choice—"

"You always had a choice," Regulus said, voice low. "You chose to leave me behind."

Silence.

Behind them, James and Remus exchanged wide-eyed glances.

Regulus pulled away from Barty, stepping closer to Sirius until they were eye to eye.
"You don’t get to come storming back into my life, trying to fix me," Regulus said quietly, dangerously. "You don’t get to act like you care, when you abandoned me to them."

"I never stopped caring," Sirius said, voice breaking despite himself. "But this— Reg, this isn’t you."

Regulus smirked bitterly. "Maybe you never knew me at all."

Sirius felt like the floor had dropped out beneath him.

Regulus turned away, back to the desk, idly running a finger along the blade of a dagger.

"You want to know me, Sirius?" he asked, not looking back. "Here’s a start: I drink, I smoke, I fuck who I want, and I collect beautiful things that can kill people. You still want to know me?"

Sirius swallowed thickly.

James took a step forward, cautiously. "Regulus... why the Muggle world?"

Finally, Regulus glanced over his shoulder, eyes softer for a moment. "Because out there, no one knows I'm a Black. I can just be me."

"And who is that?" Sirius asked, voice shaking.

Regulus turned fully this time, a faint smirk on his lips but something sad in his eyes.

"Someone who doesn't fit your perfect Gryffindor hero stories. Someone who isn’t a puppet for Mother. Someone who doesn’t hate Muggles, even if I was taught to. Someone who finally found someone who gives a shit if I’m alive or dead."

Barty grinned like that was a compliment.

"And what if I give a shit?" Sirius asked quietly.

Regulus faltered. Just for a second.

"...Too little, too late, Sirius," he whispered.

For a long moment, no one spoke.

Then, Barty clapped his hands. "Well, this has been fun," he said, smirking. "Family therapy and all that. But if you’ll excuse us, I’ve got a boyfriend to corrupt."

"Touch him and I’ll rip your throat out," Sirius hissed, fire in his eyes.

Barty just laughed, like Sirius was a joke.

Regulus, watching silently, said nothing.

Back in Gryffindor Tower — That Night

Sirius sat in front of the fire, staring into the flames like they held answers.

Remus sat beside him quietly, James pacing nearby.

"I thought he hated Muggles," James muttered.

"I thought he was a perfect Slytherin prince," Remus added softly.

"He's so far from that," Sirius whispered.

"And Barty?" Peter asked nervously.

"Bad news," Sirius said immediately. "He's... he's using Reg."

"But is he?" Remus said carefully. "Because I think... I think Regulus likes the danger."

James shook his head. "We have to help him."

"And how do we do that?" Sirius snapped, standing abruptly. "He doesn’t want our help. He doesn’t want me. He’s got Barty."

"But he’s your brother, Pads," James said softly.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, heart pounding.

"I know," he whispered. "And I’m not giving up. Not on him."

As the flames crackled and the night wore on, Sirius made a silent promise to himself.

Whatever it took — no matter how far gone Regulus seemed — he was going to save his brother.

Even if it meant facing down Barty Crouch Jr. himself.

Chapter Text

Sirius stormed down the dungeons' hall like a man possessed, jaw tight, heart pounding in his chest. James, Remus, and Peter followed, but this time, they knew better than to stop him.

Tonight was it. No more waiting. No more guessing. He was going to talk to Regulus. Really talk.

He didn’t expect to find both of them in Regulus’ room — Regulus half-dressed, leaning back on the bed, lazily flipping a dagger between his fingers, while Barty sat behind him, arms loosely wrapped around his waist, chin resting on Reg’s shoulder, looking smug as hell.

It was intimate in a way that made Sirius' chest ache.

“정말?” Sirius snapped out before he could stop himself. "Really?"

Regulus’ eyes flicked up, sharp. "무슨 상관인데, 형?"
("What does it matter to you, hyung?")

Sirius felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Regulus hadn’t called him hyung in years. The word tasted like ashes now.

Barty just grinned like he was watching a show. "Hey there, Black. Or, well, other Black."

"Get out," Sirius growled, glaring at Barty.

"Nah," Barty said easily, pressing a kiss to Regulus' cheek just to provoke him. "I live here. You’re the guest."

Regulus tilted his head, watching Sirius coolly. "왜 왔어? Why are you here?"

"Because I can't keep watching you destroy yourself," Sirius bit out, stepping closer. "This—this isn’t who you are, Reg."

Regulus let out a sharp laugh. "Oh, isn’t it?"

"You’re not—" Sirius waved wildly, as if trying to capture all of it—Barty, the knives, the smoke curling in the air. "You’re not this violent, reckless—mess."

Regulus stood up, slow and smooth, eyes cold. "그럼 내가 누군데? Then who am I, hyung? Since you know me so well."

"You’re my little brother," Sirius said, voice softening for a moment. "You’re better than this."

Regulus scoffed. "Better than what, Sirius? Better than the boy our parents tried to mold me into? Or better than the brother who left me behind?"

“That’s not fair—” Sirius started.

Regulus stepped up to him, eyes blazing. "너는 나를 버렸잖아! You left me."

Sirius' breath caught. The words felt like claws to the chest.

"I left because I had to!" Sirius shouted, anger and guilt mixing sharp and bitter. "I thought—I thought you'd be safer without me there to fight them every day—"

"거짓말 하지 마!" Regulus spat, shoving Sirius hard in the chest. "Don’t lie! You left because it was easier! Because you couldn’t stand to look back!"

Sirius stumbled, stunned by the force behind the shove, but he caught himself. "아니야, Reg. That’s not why."
("It's not true.")

For a moment, they just stared at each other.

Barty stood from the bed but didn’t intervene. He just leaned casually against the wall, arms crossed, watching with sharp, calculating eyes.

"You think I’m ruining my life?" Regulus said, voice quieter now, but razor-sharp. "You think he's ruining my life?" He jerked his head toward Barty.

Sirius’ eyes flicked to Barty, then back. "I don’t think he’s good for you."

Regulus gave a bitter smile. "Because he’s not who you would choose."

Sirius hesitated. "Because I think you deserve better."

And now, Regulus laughed — but this time, it sounded almost sad. "He’s the first person who ever saw me, Sirius. All of me. Not the heir to a crumbling house. Not Mother’s puppet. Not your shadow. Just... me."

Barty, for once, didn’t smirk. He looked at Regulus like he was something delicate and dangerous all at once — and Sirius hated that there was real care in his eyes.

"I’m not perfect," Regulus said, eyes shining now, fierce and proud. "Yeah, I sneak out. Yeah, I get high and drunk, and I’ve done things I’m not proud of. But at least now, I’m doing them on my terms."
Sirius swallowed hard. "I just wanted to protect you."

Regulus' voice softened, a tiny flicker of the boy Sirius used to know. "형, 너무 늦었어. It's too late."

Sirius took a shaky breath.

"You really love him?" Sirius asked finally, jerking his chin at Barty.

Regulus nodded, quietly. "Yeah. I do."

Barty grinned a little, but softer this time. "We take care of each other, Black. You might not get it, but he’s safe with me."

Sirius glared. "Doesn't mean I’ll stop watching."

Regulus smirked, but there was something softer in his eyes. "Wouldn't expect anything less."

Later That Night — Gryffindor Tower

"So?" James asked as Sirius collapsed on the couch, head in his hands.

"So," Sirius muttered.

"How bad was it?" Remus asked gently.

Sirius looked up, eyes tired. "Not as bad as I thought. Worse in some ways. I don’t know." He exhaled slowly. "He loves him. And I think Crouch actually loves him back."

James looked shocked. "Crouch? Love?"

"I know." Sirius laughed weakly. "But I saw it."

Remus leaned forward. "So what do we do?"

Sirius sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"...We let him be himself. Even if it’s not the version I wanted him to be."

Peter, quiet until now, asked softly, "You gonna be okay with that?"

Sirius looked toward the fire, voice low but sure.

"I think I have to be."

Meanwhile — Slytherin Dorms

Regulus lay on his bed, Barty curled behind him, arms wrapped around his waist.

"You alright, love?" Barty murmured, nuzzling into Regulus’ neck.

Regulus closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.

"Yeah. Just... tired."

Barty pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder. "You did good, you know. Standing up for yourself."

Regulus smiled faintly. "Still hate fighting with him."

"I know." Barty kissed him again. "But you’ve got me now."

Regulus turned, leaning into Barty’s chest.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I do."

And as Barty held him tighter, Regulus thought, for the first time in a long time, that maybe — just maybe — he was allowed to choose his own path.

Chapter Text

It was nearly spring when Sirius found himself sitting in a dingy café in Hogsmeade, stirring a coffee he wasn’t even drinking. He was early—too early—because he wasn’t sure he’d go through with it if he didn’t sit himself down first.

The door jingled as it opened, and Sirius looked up, heart thudding.

Regulus stepped in, hair a little messy from the wind, scarf wrapped tight around his neck, leather jacket over his Slytherin uniform like he couldn’t be bothered to follow any school rules. And, of course, Barty was right behind him, hands shoved in his pockets, that stupid smirk glued to his face—though it softened when he glanced at Regulus, like always.

"Hyung." Regulus greeted flatly, sliding into the seat across from Sirius. "You wanted to talk?"

Sirius glanced at Barty, who was pulling a chair around to sit beside Regulus like some smug bodyguard.

"Alone," Sirius said quietly.

Regulus raised a brow but, after a long pause, jerked his chin toward Barty. "Give us a minute?"

Barty looked like he might argue, but one look at Regulus' face and he just shrugged, ruffling Regulus' hair as he got up. "Holler if you need me."

"Yeah, yeah," Reg muttered, but there was a softness there—one Sirius couldn't miss.

Once Barty was gone, Sirius sat back, folding his arms.

"I wanted to say..." he trailed off, struggling to find the words.

Regulus watched him carefully, guarded but curious.

"I wanted to say I’m sorry," Sirius finally managed. "미안해."

Regulus blinked, thrown for a moment by the rare Korean slipping from Sirius’ mouth.

"I should have been there," Sirius went on, voice rough. "When I left, I thought I was saving you. But really, I just abandoned you to them."

Regulus’ face twitched—like something behind his eyes cracked open just a bit.

"I was angry at you," Regulus admitted quietly. "For a long time. Still am, some days."

"I know." Sirius swallowed.

They sat in silence for a minute, the tension hanging thick.

"But..." Regulus leaned back, letting out a breath. "You’re here now."

"Yeah." Sirius smiled faintly. "I’m here now."

Regulus hesitated, glancing out the window where Barty was standing, arms crossed, waiting.

"You really care about him?" Sirius asked, voice gentle.

Regulus looked at him like that was the dumbest question he’d ever heard. "More than anything."

Sirius chuckled under his breath. "You know, I thought he was corrupting you. But I think maybe... you’re both just as wild as each other."

Regulus gave a crooked smile. "Probably."

"I’m trying, Reg," Sirius said, leaning forward. "Trying to understand who you are now. Not who I wanted you to be."

Regulus was quiet, but something in his shoulders relaxed a little.

"Guess we’re both not who people wanted us to be," he said softly.

Sirius let out a laugh, surprising them both. "Yeah. Guess not."

Regulus studied him for a moment longer, then, voice softer, asked, "진짜로, 형? 나를 이해하려고?"
("Really, hyung? You’re trying to understand me?")

Sirius looked him in the eye. "응. 진짜로."
("Yeah. Really.")

For a moment, neither of them spoke. But something between them shifted—just a little.

Finally, Regulus stood, nodding toward the door. "Come on. Walk back with us?"

Sirius blinked, surprised, but stood too. "Yeah. I’d like that."

As they stepped out of the café, Barty raised a brow. "You two kiss and make up, or do I need to step in?"

"Shut up," Regulus muttered, but there was no heat behind it.

Sirius laughed, hands in his pockets. "He’s annoying."

"Yeah," Regulus said fondly, slipping his hand into Barty’s as they walked. "He is."

Sirius noticed the way they leaned into each other — not toxic, not possessive — just comfortable, like they’d found something safe in one another. And for the first time, he thought maybe, maybe, it wasn’t his job to save Regulus.

Maybe Regulus had already saved himself.

And as they walked back up to the castle, Sirius realized — for the first time in a long time — he wasn’t walking alone.