Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Standing in the limited shade of the crumbling ruins of an ancient town, Elyasa’s exhausted party sweat into the tundra. The Baronese were meant to be cold, but even the tundra could be scorching in the height of summer, especially with the sun at its zenith. 

“We’ll have to walk it,” Elyasa said heavily. 

“My shoes are toast,” Harpsthut grimaced. “I can do it, but we’ll need to wait until the sun goes down.” 

Elyasa assessed Harpsthut. It was nothing to carry Jax, barely eighty pounds soaking wet, but Harspthut was a dragonborn with a well-used gym membership. They might make it a few miles, before Elyasa’s arms gave out, but that did not get them back to the nearest settlement. 

“I could make you something,” Jax started groping around. The rag around his eyes was a necessary evil. Opal had been reasonably sure they’d gotten the curse out, but eye rest was the best thing to ensure it. “I took a leather vest off that thief that could help if someone else could chop it up.” 

“Aw, Blue, I was just getting to like it here,” Opal winked at Elyasa, wiping blood off her face and horns with another rag.   “Hot, ugly and full of dead people. It’s like going home!” 

“It’s drying out my scales,” Harpsthut rifled through Jax’s pack and handed him the vest. “Maybe Anyanka will come back with good news.” 

As if summoned, the sound of hooves beating against the rock rattled through the cavern.  Anyanka’s flanks were slick with sweat as she clattered to a stop. Technically, Harpsthut could ride Anyanka, but none of them were desperate enough yet to ask her that. Last time, the usually incredibly gentle centaur had held Opal at the point of her spear at the mere suggestions. 

“There’s something out there,” Anyanka reported as soon as she was close enough to be heard. “I’m not sure if my eyes were deceiving me, but I could have sworn it was a car.” 

“There’s no roads here,” Opal dropped all pretense of casualness, eager as all of them to get away from the scene of the battle. 

“There’s ways around that,” Jax frowned. “The question is why is it out this way? As far as we were told, the cultists were the only ones who bothered with these ruins and they were being sustained by Clyostrapine’s ‘miracles’. We already got all the goods worth getting from him.” 

“The townsfolk don’t know that yet,” Elyasa walked in the direction Anyanka had come from, trying to catch a glimpse of what she’d seen. “And we’re two days overdue. Maybe they sent cavalry.”   

“We’re not that lucky,” Opal jogged to catch up with her. “Buddy system, tough gal.” 

“Yes, sorry,” Elyasa slowed to let her catch up. “How’s your shoulder?” 

“All good, thanks for the quick thinking on that. Feel shitty about Jax though. I’m going to talk to Grandfather when I get back. I keep meaning to study up on curses with him, but other things get in the way.” 

“And you hate going to Hell,” Elyasa said. 

“And that,” Opal agreed. She held a hand up to her eyes and surveyed the open landscape. “I don’t see anything out there, but Anyanka must’ve been out a mile at least.” 

“Let’s give it a half hour, keep watch for a bit. Harpsthut can keep Jax busy with shoe making.  He’d be pissed if he knew you were beating yourself up over a curse you didn’t throw.” 

“Which is why I’m talking to you and not him. Don’t rat me out.” 

They stood in comfortable quiet after that, wordlessly splitting up the horizon to maximize their surveillance.  Familiar after four years of running amok across the world with how best to protect each other. 

Elyasa had met Opal in freshman year of college in an anthropology survey class with a professor so blatantly racist that Elyasa had easily rounded up half the class to stage a protest outside the university president’s office. Opal hand-painted signs on Elyasa’s floor for hours as they became fast friends.  Even though he wasn’t in the class, Jax had a nose for social action and brought a playbook of moves with him, along with snacks until they accepted him into their planning. 

When someone killed the professor, they became suspects immediately, and to clear their names, they’d had to sleuth their way to the actual murderer and in the process recruited the professor’s much put upon TA, Harpsthut who was just as likely a suspect as they were. When they found the actual murderer, the killer’s roommate, Anyanka, had helped subdue them. 

It had never occurred to Elyasa that she’d love adventuring. When it had come time to go to high school, she’d never even considered going to Aguefort, sticking with the local public school where she’d been salutatorian.  Her only goal was to get a decently paying job in the city, so she wouldn’t fall into the trap of staying home while her parents engineered a comfortable enough life that she never left her hometown.

Adventure had found her instead and she would fully admit to having fallen in love with it. Marrying the two halves of her life together was a constant struggle, but it was worth it to have health insurance AND get to run amock across the world with her friends. 

“Hey,” Elyasa said. “When we get back home, let’s do a full chill out weekend.” 

“Yesssss,” Opal groaned. “Once Jax’s eyes are fully healed, it’s full on pajama party. Catch up on The Real Housewives of Bastion City and turn into slugs.” 

A flash in the distance caught Elyasa’s eye, “Over there!” 

“Do we want to get their attention?” 

“Worth the risk, right?” 

“Worth the risk,” Opal confirmed, “Block your ears, Blue.” 

Elyasa ducked down, covering her ears with her hands and then shoving her head between her knees for good measure as Opal’s voice boomed out with infernal strength, “HEY, STRANGER! GOING OUR WAY?” 

“Why don’t you roll up your robe and stick your leg out while you’re at it?” Elyasa laughed. 

“If I say we need help, they might see it as a sign of weakness,” Opal shrugged. “Anyway it worked, they’re turning and heading our way. I’ll get the others.” 

Somehow Jax had managed to strap some bits of leather to Harpsthut's feet with some bandages and in turn, she’d hefted him onto her shoulders so he didn’t have to stumble around the ruins. Anyanka took point, crossbow near at hand, but not drawn so they didn’t scare off potential rescuers. 

“Is it...a van?” Opal squinted. “Huh.” 

The sound of a screaming electric guitar reached them long before the van.  

“Are we getting picked up by a metalhead?” Jax laughed. “Or killed by one? Good story either way.” 

The van had a complex painting on the top, a thousand dents and a sound system that shook the entire vehicle.  As it rolled to a stop, the music cut out. The driver’s door popped open. Elyasa prepared to meet a gross old man that would try to slime all over Opal while Elyasa played interference until they reached where they needed to go. Then Elyasa could take him out, if need be. 

The guy that got out was not old. Or gross. 

Instead, he was unbelievably gorgeous and tall enough to look Elyasa right in the eye. He had a thick shock of black hair, except for a swath of white in the front, a strong jaw and two fine curved tusks.  His eyes were strange, older than the rest of him, but that only added to the overall effect. It didn’t hurt that he wore a t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, showing off one muscular arm and another intricately strapped with leather and metal.  

“Hey,” his voice was startlingly soft coming from such a broad chest, sweet and mellow, “you guys need some help?” 

“We do, thanks. Got stranded out here,” Opal stepped forward. “We took out some cultists and they took out our ride. You look like you might be an adventurer too?” 

“Been called that,” the stranger agreed. “Where are you headed?” 

“Gully Fort. We left our stuff there and we’re owed payment. Then back home.” 

“Cool, I can get you there, no problem. But I'm a weird random dude, so I get it if it’s too creepy and I can just go and get someone from there to come get you. I’m Gorgug-” 

“Gorgug Thistlespring!” Jax blurted. 

The stranger started, hand falling to the very large ax at his side that Elyasa would usually have clocked first, but had apparently missed falling into black eyes. That was not like her. She blamed the heat.  

“How did you-” the stranger started. 

“Shit, sorry! Sorry. It took me a second to place your voice from interviews. I fucking love Fig and the Cig Figs,” Jax did not sound sorry. Elyasa wasn’t sure Jax had ever been sorry about a social interaction. It was his super power. “Saw you guys in concert years ago.  Then I started following the Bad Kids because of Gukgak. Not a lot of goblin heroes putting up big numbers in the world. Is the rest of your party here?” 

The guy who was apparently Gorgug relaxed a little, “Gotta disappoint, it’s just me. I only came out this way to pick up some jasmine basalt. You can only find it loose out here.” 

“I think we’re safe to get in the van,” Jax declared. “Blue?” 

“Of course. We’re so glad you were here,” someone said, low and flirty. Oh. Shit. That was Elyasa. She’d said that. “Thanks for stopping.” 

Gorgug met her eyes and Elyasa’s stomach flipped over. “Why don’t you guys get in and have some cold water? I’ve got a cooler in the back with more than enough.” 

“Will I fit?” Anyanka eyed the van up. 

“It’s bigger than it looks,” Gorgug assured her, going around the back to open the doors. 

“I’m calling shotgun,” Jax purred. 

“No, you are not ,” Opal laughed. 

“I’m not?” 

“No, Elyasa is,” Harpsthut agreed. 

“I am?” Elyasa blinked. 

“I have never actually heard your voice do that, even when you hooked up with that  half-elf with the nose piercing,” Harpsthut huffed out a tiny trail of smoke, a sign of much amusement. 

Jax made a curious noise, “Is our precious Blue actually flirting instead of waiting for the boy to fall into her honeytrap eyes?” 

“He has a mechanical arm and emo-boy hair,” Opal scoffed. “She’s beyond flirting. She’s already imagining their babies.”

“I am not,” Elyasa hissed even as she opened the passenger side door. “I am imagining cold water and air conditioning.” 

“Liar!” Opal laughed and disappeared around the back. 

“Hey, I think everyone should fuck a grungy band guy at least once in their lives,” Jax whispered as Harpsthut carried him after Opal. “I’m rooting for you.” 

“...thanks,” Elyasa hauled herself into the passenger seat. The van was blessedly cool and smelled intensely of sunscreen instead of the B.O. she’d been braced for. 

“Welcome to the Hangvan,” the radio said. “Looks like you’ve had a gnarly adventure, want some mellow tunes to chill out to?” 

“Excuse me?” She reached out to poke at the radio. 

“Oh hey, sorry,” Gorgug swung himself into the driver’s side, settling behind the wheel with long familiar ease. “That’s Zaph, he’s kind of melded with the van. Zaph this is...actually I didn’t get your name, sorry.” 

“Elyasa Blufftop,” she leaned into study the radio, taking in the glow. “Did you trap a celestial in your van?” 

“Woah, no, I’m here of my own free will,” the radio said. “It’s all good. Gorgug, where are we headed, brother?” 

“Back to Gully Fort.” 

A blessedly cold bottle was tossed her way as the van started on its way. She caught it and cracked it open, shotgunning the entire thing before remembering that a gorgeous guy was watching her. 

“Uh,” she muffled a burp in her palm. “So. You were getting jasmine basalt? That’s the yellow kind of shiny one that the Westminster Knolls protect, right?” 

“Yeah,” he lit up. “You know about that?” 

“A little. I mainly did structural engineering in college, but I took a geology class,” it had been for the easy ‘A’, but he didn’t have to know that.  “What do you need it for?”

“I’m trying to improve the brain-joint interface in the prosthetics I’m working on. The jasmine basalt has high magic receptivity without interfering with it. For awhile, I was using cast off rubies from a wizard wholesaler, but they absorb too much energy and they’re harder to cut down to the shape I need. It’s really got to be rounded at the edges, the rough cuts....” he trailed off. “Probably more than you wanted to know.” 

“No, I like it,” Elyasa turned the empty water bottle around in her hands. “I took an artificer’s class in my freshman year of college when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. Went in another direction, but I enjoyed it a lot.” 

“Sounds like you took a lot of classes,” he gave her a half-smile.

“I got curious and no one stopped me,” she admitted. “I still graduated on time, so it worked out.” 

“Where’d you go to school?” 

“We all graduated from Pillzenberg. You?” 

“Bodkins and Boom Tech Institute. Small place, but the program was intense. Do you adventure full time?” 

“Nope,” Elyasa shifted in her seat so she could see him more clearly. “We didn’t want to do the kind of questing you make a living at. And I like regular access to hot showers and fresh vegetables, you know?” 

“Huh,” Gorgug steered around a rock pile, his braced arm locked around the wheel and the other one idly tapping against his thigh. “So what’s your other gig?” 

“Land surveying. It’s not revolutionary or anything, but it pays okay and I like being outside,” Could she sound any duller?  “You’re in a band?” 

“Sort of,” he had a sweet kind of smile. It didn’t show a lot of teeth, but it was heartfelt. “Fig got me into playing music and I went along with her for the first tour, but that life isn’t for me, so I took a step back. I still lay down a few tracks for her on albums though, so technically I’m still in the band, depending on how you look at it.” 

“I think that counts,” Elyasa resisted the urge to check her face in the rearview mirror. It was probably a disaster. Her clothes were probably a disaster too, splattered in dead cultists. “I’ve probably heard a little of it. Jax gets control of the aux cable way more then he should statistically.”

“The ride that got jacked wasn’t your car was it?” 

“No, thankfully. We rode a hippohorse here and the cultists scared the crap out of it and it ran off. Hopefully, it finds its way home.  They told us there weren’t any roads out this way. You seem to be managing though.” 

“We had a whole thing in the Red Waste six or seven years ago,” he shrugged like it was no big deal to be out that way, “and I spent a lot of time making sure the Hangvan could ride over a lot of bad terrain.” 

Connections started popping in her head. “Oh shit!! The Bad Kids! Yes, I remember you guys now. You killed the Night Yorb!” 

“Eh, not exactly? It’s bound to the roof of the van.” 

“This van?” her eyes went wide. “Really?” 

Gorgug wrinkled his nose, “Yeah, it’s really bad for the gas mileage.” 

A world famous hero-musician, who made intricate medical devices for a living, and was extremely chill about all of it too? What was she supposed to do with that? 

“I need you to tell me a flaw that you have immediately,” she demanded. 

“What?” He gave a startled laugh. “Why?” 

“I would consider a personal favor? I know you’re already doing us a big one, but this would be more for me.” 

“Uh, sure,” he considered. “I drink milk right from the container.” 

“Does anyone else use the milk?” 

“Sometimes.” 

She had to concede that was less than ideal, even though she’d been hoping for something more on the level of ‘I kick puppies’ to shoot her raging libido down,  “Fine, I’ll take it.” 

“What about you? I can’t give away something like that without some reciprocity.”

“I sometimes take the last cup of coffee in the pot at work and don’t refill it.” 

“You’re a monster, get out of my van,” he said flatly. 

It was her turn to laugh, and he chuckled along with her. Gully Fort started to come into view. 

“Thank you again,” she accidentally crushed the water bottle between her palms and winced, shoving it into her pocket. “You saved us a heinous walk back. Where are you headed?” 

“The plan was actually to stop somewhere for the night.  I’ve been on the road for like...fifteen hours straight?” 

“Oh, us too. Gotta recharge. We’d love to buy you dinner to say thanks.” 

“Yeah? I’d be down for that. I’ve been eating potato chips for the last three meals.” 

“What’s your flavor of choice?” She asked, shoving aside any potential giddiness. It would be a group meal, obviously. Not a date. 

“Don’t judge,” he gave her a shy glance, “but I kind of love the pesto ones that came out last month that everyone was shitting on.” 

“I thought they were okay,” she licked her lips, hoping they didn’t look too dried and cracked. “I don’t have any room to make fun, my favorite is pizza flavored. Opal says that means I have the taste buds of a twelve year old.” 

“Shout out to twelve year olds then,” He held out his fist to her, “I like them too.” 

A fistbump was not romantic. It was not an overture. It was nothing and if her hormones could understand that, she would really appreciate it. They pulled onto the town’s only road with a bump. 

“Where were you guys staying?” Gorgug asked. 

“The little inn at the end of the street. I think it’s the only place to stay. Were you going there too?” 

“Nah, I sleep in the van, but I bet that’s the only place to get dinner too, right?” 

“Near as I can tell.” 

He pulled up and her party poured out of the back, deep in a debate about whether a cursed ring could be counted toward their overall treasure total, a number that Opal and Jax kept with religious fervor. 

Gorgug listened to them for a beat too long, an odd look on his face as their voices washed over him. 

“You should come in,” Elyasa said too fast. There’s no sense in you waiting out here until dinner. We like some fresh company.”

He shook whatever it was away and refocused on her, “You’re sure?” 

“I’m sure.” 

The townspeople gave a ragged cheer as they entered. Anyanka held the robes of the vanquished Clyostrapine in her hand. The innkeeper came forward to take them and shake all their hands, including Gorgug, who’s protests were drowned out by a round of free drinks and gold clicking into Opal’s waiting purse to be divided later. 

“I told Gorgug dinner was on us,” Elyasa told Opal. 

“Of course it is,” Opal’s shit-eating grin only got wider.

They were given a table and several rounds of strong ale. Gorgug only sipped his, turning away questions with a polite ease that Elyasa wanted to study. Instead, he listened to them go over the quests' failures and successes, and didn’t try to put his two cents in which she deeply appreciated. Eventually, Harpsthut started to recount a previous adventure that bore far too much resemblance to that one and her increasingly wild conspiracy theories that all cults came from the same place. 

“Isn’t it more likely that cults all operate the same way and thus seem very similar?” Anyanka said, not for the first time.” 

“I’m just saying we should at least consider my theory. It makes a great deal of sense that they’re spawning from some random generator.” 

“You need to stop playing so many crystal games,” Jax snorted. “They’re scrambling your beautiful brains.” 

“My brains are just fine,” Harpsthut grumbled. 

The usual banter made Elyasa wince internally, hoping against hope that Gorgug wouldn’t think they were all insane. When she glanced at him, he had that expression again. Like he was trying to catch a secret being told. She leaned across the table, dropping her voice to a whisper:

“Don’t mind them. They’re not serious. We get a little loopy after a win.” 

“Hm?” His focus fell back on her. “Oh no, sorry. It’s making me a little nostalgic, that’s all. My party would love this conversation. It’s been awhile since we were altogether after a fight.” 

“Are you guys not close anymore?” 

“We are. Sometimes,” he said a little ruefully. “We’re all really busy, it’s hard to make time. Me and Riz live together, but he works insane hours. Fig and Fabian are traveling. Adaine started her doctoral program and Kristin is incorporeal right now.” 

“Incorporeal? That sounds bad.” 

“No, it’s cool, it’s voluntary,” he shook his head. “You don’t want to hear about this. You’re celebrating a win, you should be talking to them.” 

“I’ll be stuck in a station wagon with them for the next two days and once we get there, Jax and Opal and I share a house, so really there’s no escape. I’d love to know why someone is voluntarily incorporeal.” 

Gorgug hesitated again, “It’s not that fun a story.” 

“Hey,” she reached across the table and touched the back of his hand lightly. “Not everything’s fun  and sometimes you need someone who hasn’t heard it before to listen.” 

He studied her face and then nodded slowly, “So there’s this goddess. Kind of like our goddess, but mostly Kristin’s...”

The story and her follow up questions lasted until food arrived. The atmosphere lifted a little as they got another round of drinks to wash down the very turnip heavy stew. 

“I think it’s good that you’re all so supportive of her.” 

“She’s ours,” Gorgug shrugged, dipping bread into his stew. “What wouldn’t you do for your people?” 

“Isn’t this a winter vegetable?” Harpsthut was asking, stabbing at a chunk of turnip. “How do they still have it?” 

“It’s a winter vegetable because it preserves well,” Anyanka leaned over and ate it off of Harpsthut fork.  

“We have talked about this,” Harpsthut scolded, suppressing a laugh. “Stop eating my food when I complain about it.” 

Jax gave her half of his bread while also stealing a chunk of turnip from her bowl. “But you look so cute when you’re offended.” 

“I’d carve my heart out,” Elyasa agreed. “But I’d make them feel very bad about it.” 

Gorgug barked a laugh,   “So you get it. How’d you guys meet?” 

It was nice to tell the story to someone new. Even though it wasn’t very fun either. He listened well, made a lot of eye contact. At some point under the table, their feet had touched and neither of them drew back. It didn’t mean much, they were both wearing heavy boots. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed. 

“The moral of the story is don’t be a racist dick, but if you are, definitely don’t piss off literally everyone you work with about it.” 

“A good one that I’ll keep in mind if I ever decide to become a racist dick,” he nodded. 

“I don’t think you have it in you,” she said sincerely and the eye contact was almost unbearable. 

“Blue,” Opal elbowed her in the side, “I’m beat. Going to head up to the room. No rush though, okay? Just don’t stomp when you come in.” 

“Right, sure,” Elyasa said. “Good night.” 

“No, no,” Opal winked on the side Gorgug couldn’t see. “ You have a good night.” 

The table was empty except for them. Elyasa had missed them slipping off to bed. 

“Hey,” Gorgug watched Opal retreat then turned his full attention back to her. “If I’m reading this wrong, you can tell me to fuck off, but would you want to go hang out in the back of my van. Keep talking or something?” 

Or something. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

They strolled back outside into the cooling night air very casually. Gorgug opened up the doors to the back of the van. Inside there was a mattress large enough for two people both in excess of six and a half feet tall. Emboldened by their obvious agreement about the direction of the night, Elyasa slid her hand over Gorgug’s shoulder and leaned in. 

To her deep delight, he met her halfway. They kissed under the half-moon, stars winking wildly above them. 

Eventually, they climbed into the back of the van and did ‘or something’ several times that night. In between, they talked in hushed whispers about the kinds of things that mattered very little and yet made up a life: Music, road snacks, scars, childhood games and the worst monsters to fight. 

Dawn found them still naked, Gorgug tracing her szuldar, the glittering sapphire vein that ran from her hip to right below her right breast, with his lips. It was a slow exploration, neither of them physically up for much more. She sank her fingers into his hair, and asked, 

“Where do you live?” 

“Bastion City,” he tilted up his chin and regarded her from under that pretty shock of white. 

“Me too,” she’d suspected, but the confirmation thrilled her. “I’d like to see you again.” 

“I’d love that.” 

She didn’t even mind the teasing she got as she stumbled, still in yesterday’s filthy clothes, into the far backseat of Harpsthut’s station wagon. 

Only Jax waited for the general hullabaloo to die down to ask with all sincerity, pressed in against her as they watched Gully Fort retreat into memory:  “Did you have fun, Blue?” 

“Yeah,” she whispered to him. “I think I had something more than fun.” 

“Good for you. When’s your next date?” 

“He’s never gone rock climbing and he was game to try.” 

“Ick,” Jax ducked under her arm to get comfortable for a nap, “sounds perfect for you.” 

Rock climbing went very well. Gorgug paid attention to her instructions, didn’t get competitive about it and when they sat down at the top, he pulled out two wax wrapped sandwiches from his cargo short pockets and handed her one, along with a bottle of lemonade. 

“That’s really nice,” she said with probably too much feeling. 

“It’s ham and cheese that’s more cheese than ham,” he said with a sheepish half-smile. “I promise I can actually make good food, but rent was due this week.” 

It would be a long time before she told him that the last guy she’d seriously dated. He’d been her mother’s pick. A  ‘nice earth genasi boy’, who had been her first in all the ways that mattered. He had ended their relationship by telling her that she was boring in bed and not pretty enough to be as shitty at housework as she was. He’d never once done anything as simple or kind as packing her a sandwich. 

She was pretty sure Jax and Harpsthut were the ones that engineered the series of events that got her ex fired while she sobbed on Opal’s shoulder, but he might actually have done that to himself without help.  Her mother never admitted she might’ve been wrong. She never did.

The bar was low, in other words, but she thought Gorgug would’ve cleared in anyway. 

Sandwich still settling in her stomach, she walked fingers up his thigh and said,  “My place is really crowded tonight.” 

Like a good drummer, he didn’t miss a beat,. “Riz isn’t home, if you want to come back to mine.” 

With all of Gorgug’s other many pros, she had been ready for the con of a terrible bachelor’s apartment. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d had sex on a mattress on the floor with a single crappy blue comforter and flat pillows or used a bathroom with no trash can and only one damp towel. 

At first, Gorgug’s place appeared a little like that. It had the familiar sagging stained couch and battered coffee table. Except that it was battered and stained from being a makeshift duel office with a fortress of tubs storing wires and arcane parts on one side of the room and a detective’s workspace on the other, complete with a bulletin board covered in red string. 

The kitchenette had dishes in the sink, but only a handful. Gorgug took his boots off by the door, setting them next to a small pair of loafers. Elyasa followed suit, walking over threadbare, but clean, carpet. 

Gorgug’s bedroom had a real bed. The comforter was, in fact,  blue, but it had been freshly laundered and neatly made over matching sheets. A drum set had been crammed into one corner of the room and there were more tubs of archnotech pieces piled up next to it. It was cramped and crowded, but with a busy life in too small a space instead of mess. 

When they crashed onto the bed, the bedframe didn’t even squeak. Elyasa had had to spend her first paycheck to get one that only groaned when she lay down. If she hadn’t been very distracted by Gorgug’s hands on her ass, she might’ve asked him how such a miracle was possible. 

Instead, she concentrated on getting his fly undone without ending the very good kiss they had going on. Priorities. 

Much later, she went to the bathroom and discovered a little trashcan and a fresh towel laid out fo her on the sink. 

She walked back into the bedroom where Gorgug was on the bed, muscular and gleaming a little with sweat in the lamplight. He looked like something out of a romance novel. Her heart rattled in her chest, blood rushed in her ears. Unacceptable. Impractical. This was basically their first date and this was probably just a fun little fling. She was only twenty-three and she'd only had one shitty relationship before this. 

This wasn’t it. Probably. It couldn’t be. 

Oh, fuck, what if this was it? 

“Tell me again how you drink milk out of the carton,” she demanded. 

“What is your deal with that?” he laughed. 

“You have a trash can in your bathroom.” 

He raised his eyebrows, “Yeah?” 

“Boys do not have trash cans in their bathrooms.” 

“Uh, okay,” he pushed up on his good elbow.  “Riz put it there when we moved in because we both floss a stupid amount. And we have friends with uteruses.  We also bought tampons and stuff to leave under the sink. Take whatever, if you need it.” 

“That’s cool,” she took off the t-shirt she’d put back on to go to the bathroom. “Round two?” 

“Hell yeah,” he grinned boyishly at her and forgot all about her weirdness. Hopefully. 

It was probable that Gorgug had some major fault or was secretly evil, but as they continued dating, it seemed less and less likely. He had a dry sense of humor, a kind heart, and a willingness to follow her lead that she could get far too used to.  

They spent a lot of time at his place since his roommate was usually gone or in his room. Not like her riotous rented bungalow where Jax had claimed the living room for goblin activist meetings twice a week and Opal had taken over the kitchen for baking experiments. 

Elyasa started leaving a few things in Gorgug’s room, unintentionally at first, but when he simply moved her chapstick to the bedside table and her forgotten t-shirt got washed and put in a drawer, it became intentional. 

Two months into dating, she showed up to the apartment and when she knocked on the door, the most dapperly dressed goblin she’d ever met opened it. 

“Oh, hi! I’m Elyasa,” she said. “You must be Riz.” 

“That’s me,” he took a step back to let her in with an unreadable expression. “Gorgug just went to get his laundry from downstairs, he’ll be back up in a second.” 

“Thanks.” 

The apartment took on a fresh strangeness with its other occupant in residence and she wasn’t sure if she should go wait in Gorgug’s room or hover here. Riz radiated a tense energy that made her a little wary.

“Gorgug said you work for the city,” he abruptly walked back over to his makeshift office space, closing a folder.  

“Not directly. It’s one of those things where we’re an independently contracted company, but the city is our only client.  He said you’re an investigator?” 

“Private,” Riz said and for a moment she wasn’t sure if he meant a P.I. or that he wasn’t going to comment either way. “It’s been a slow start, but I’m starting to build a client base. One day we’ll be able to afford enough chairs for everyone, sorry I can’t offer you a seat.” 

“It’s fine,” she relaxed a little. Maybe he was nervous about the apartment, not about her. “I like it here. My place looks much the same, all of us working out of there half the time.” 

“You’re in an active party, right?” 

“The Bonebreakers,” she confirmed. “Don’t judge, our collective creativity failed us at registration.” 

“It’d be hypocritical,” his tail thrashed once, a punctuation of amusement. “The Bad Kids? Less cute in our twenties. I keep pitching a name change. At least The Bonebreakers sounds badass.” 

“Does it? I always think it makes us sound like we’ve got bad hips.” 

That made him laugh and he turned to face her, “I know it’s not- I shouldn’t say anything, but I’m the kind of person who wastes a lot of energy wondering what other people are thinking about me. Gorgug isn’t always easy to read either. So. You should know that he likes you a lot. You’re his favorite topic of conversation these days.” 

He stated it as a bland fact. Elyasa was struck through with it. Gorgug talked about her when she wasn’t around. He liked her. Which felt both middle schoolish and obvious and also incredibly important. She heard the heavy tread of boots in the hallway and wondered if Riz had heard a moment before her, timing his delivery so she couldn’t respond.

“Thank you,” she said quickly just as Gorgug’s key went into the lock and the door swung open. 

“Hey,” Gorgug stepped in, carrying an enormous laundry sack. “I see you guys met.” 

“About a minute ago,” Elyasa agreed, and was pleased when he paused on his way to his bedroom to kiss her hello. Apparently having his friend as an audience didn’t deter him. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” he said warmly, before heading away. “I’ll be ready to go in a minute!” 

“I always thought private investigating sounded a lot like adventuring,” Elyasa turned back to Riz. “Or have movies poisoned my mind?” 

“Sometimes it is,” he shrugged. “On the best days. For both, really. The part of adventuring I like the most is the puzzle of it. Well. That and spending time with everyone.” 

“The friendships are the best part,” she agreed readily and the look that flashed over his face was a little devastating. It wasn’t Gorgug’s nostalgia, but something deeper and cracked open. Something she probably shouldn't have seen.

“They are,” he schooled himself back to neutral. “You live with some of your party too, right?” 

“Jax and Opal. All of us are in the city, but Anyanka lives with a group of other centaurs. It’s hard to find modified housing, you know?” Elyasa rambled, eager to put that moment behind them.  “Harpsthut’s grad assistant gig comes with on-campus housing at BCU. Our house is the hangout spot though.” 

“That sounds nice,” Riz said, smoothed back to neutral “Chaotic, but nice.” 

“It is, but coming here is a real relief. Sometimes a little peace and quiet can go a long way.” 

“If I tell the group chat that you think I create a peaceful environment, they’ll think you’re batshit before they even meet you,” he warned. 

“Everything is relative, right? I hope I get to meet them someday. They sound like interesting people from the stories I’ve heard.” 

“They’re the best people,” Riz turned back to his desk as Gorgug came out of his room. “Have a good night, you two.”

“See you later,” Gorgug clapped Riz on the back (gently, she noted).  

After that, Elyasa started catching Riz around the apartment more frequently. She couldn’t tell if it was happenstance or if he’d been deliberately making himself scarce before. They talked a little more each time, relaxing around each other enough to joke and not put on their ‘best behavior’ masks. 

It got to the point that she felt comfortable asking Gorgug, 

“Is Riz always like that or is he depressed right now?” 

“Depressed?” Gorgug stopped rowing. They had rented a canoe which was probably too twee and adorable for them, but it was a nice day and rowing alongside him had its charms. 

“Maybe that’s overstating, but he seems sad.” 

“What makes you say that?” He looked genuinely confused which threw her off.  

“I can’t- I don’t know exactly. Something in the way he talks. And he never has plans, except work.” 

“He’s a workaholic, always has been. He likes it that way,” Gorgug denied, but she could tell he was thinking it over. “Neither of us have made a lot of friends in the city. We were leaning on each other for that. Except....I’ve been spending most of my free time with you.” 

“Which I’m thrilled about,” she put her hand over his, the grooves of the brace where it fitted between his fingers was familiar to her now as flesh. “But I’ll be okay if you want to have a boy’s night sometimes.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” he sighed. “If he thinks I’m ditching you to give him a pity hang, he’d be pissed though. He’s bad at some social stuff and way too good at others.” 

“He could come out with us sometimes,” she suggested and could practically hear Opal screaming at her ‘GIRL, WHAT?!’.  “Not for things like this, but when we go cliff diving and things. If he’s an adventurer, then he’s an adrenaline junkie. Never met one who wasn’t.” 

“That’s true. You wouldn’t mind? That’s not weird?” 

“Who cares if it is?”  Elyasa shrugged. “We’re the ones in this relationship. We get to decide what’s weird or not.” 

It wasn’t weird at all (even if Opal did actually scream when Elyasa told her, but that was fine, Opal loved having something to scream about).  Riz was fun company, bringing an intense energy to things that Elyasa and Gorgug lacked. When they went bungee jumping, he had a thousand questions about the mechanics and went three times to their two, taking a notebook on the third one and managing to actually write down notes. When he went rock climbing with them, he darted up faster than both of them, and found some kind of spider that he got excited over. Elyasa had squatted down and obligingly caught it over Gorgug’s gagging noises so Riz could get a close up photo of it. 

It was only once or twice a month, but it was fun. A derivation from the norm. 

Because it was all becoming the norm. Gorgug Thistlespring was Elyasa’s boyfriend, all official and posted on social media. Sometimes he got recognized in public and he would always reach for her hand, like he was drawing silent support from her presence.  Once, his parents called while she was over and he went on video chat, so she could wave and they could coo over her. They were sweet. 

“Hey, Riz?” she asked, coming out of the bathroom in the middle of the night. Gorgug was asleep, but Riz was always awake. Sometimes, Elyasa lapsed back into the bifurcated sleep of her childhood and it was nice to have company in the middle of the night. Riz never seemed bothered by her interrupting him, no matter how much work he had piled around him. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you know about the Gnash?” 

He set down his pen and turned to face her, “The what now?” 

That confirmed her suspicions and she kicked herself for not asking earlier.  That’s what she got for assuming. “The goblin community of the city. They meet every month. I think Gnash is the Ghukliak word for a group of goblins or something.” 

“Haven’t heard of it. There were only one or two other goblin families in Elmsville and we didn’t really talk much to each other.” 

“We have that in common,” she said. But it was different. Her family might’ve been the only earth genasi in town, but she had five siblings and tons of aunts, uncles and cousins. ‘Family’ meant forty-five souls altogether. Being one of a handful in a whole town? That sounded like a special hell   “Anyway, Jax is really into it and everything. So. If you want to go at some point....” 

Riz stared blankly at her as if she’d spoken in Infernal out of nowhere. “Why would I do that?”

“Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like?” She crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly all too aware that she wasn’t wearing a bra under Gorgug’s t-shirt. She doubted Riz would care, he didn’t seem to register bodies much. Gorgug when asked, had said very vaguely:  Riz doesn’t do that stuff.   

“Hanging out with a bunch of strangers?” 

“Not being the only one in a room,” she said quietly. “I know what it’s like. We all do, really. The Bonebreakers. It’s one of the things that kept us together in the beginning. We’re  all the type of people that draw attention just by existing. Sometimes, I forget what it is to blend in until I go home and it’s only my family and it’s like every muscle in my body relaxes even though they make me insane.” 

“I didn’t know you felt like that,” Riz searched her face as if she might be lying about it. 

“Not all the time. Not even most of the time,” she sighed. “But more often than I’d like.” 

“I don’t know anything about goblin stuff,” Riz looked away. “I can’t imagine I’d have much to say. I don’t even really speak Ghukliak.” 

“You’re not alone in that, from what I understand. Jax could explain it a lot better than me, but he talks a lot about living in a chosen exile and what that does to people. The language dies first, he says.” 

“Poetic.” 

“If you want company the first time, I’d go with you. I’ve always been curious and it would give me a good reason to go aside from bothering Jax.” 

“You don’t have to.” 

“I want to,” she said. “I’ll send you the information.” 

“I didn’t say yes.” 

“I know, but at least you’ll have it.” 

He said yes after weeks of silence on the matter. They did go together and Elyasa had bent herself nearly in half to fit in the cavern, but it was worth it to see Jax light up, tail whipping around as he greeted Riz with both hands. In a beautiful, awkward, perfect moment, Elyasa watched as Jax taught Riz wordlessly how to grip his wrists in a traditional greeting. 

“Welcome, Dragoneater,” Jax had beamed at him. “We’re very happy to have you here. Come and sit, we’re just starting the boring business part of things.” 

Later, when Riz had recounted the entire thing to Gorgug in dizzying detail then headed for his bedroom to call his mother (she tried not to find that adorable because Riz was a grown man, but it was), Gorgug turned her, 

“You didn’t have to do that.” 

“He’s my friend too,” she said and found it true as the words came out. 

“Huh,” said Gorgug. “You know, I think you’d be the first one that he didn’t meet in high school.” 

“I’m very charming,” she teased, instead of saying ‘that’s incredibly upsetting’. 

At Midsummer, Elyasa rode shotgun in the Hangvan while Riz slept in the back. She’d been to Elmville a few times for debate team matches at Hudol. This was different. Gorgug had met her party the first day and he’d been welcome in their house ever since. There had been no time to be nervous about it. 

Maybe she should be more concerned about spending time with Wilma and Digby, but they had already talked on the phone a few times by then and were so aggressively welcoming that it barely registered as a concern compared to colliding with the rest of The Bad Kids. 

As they rolled up to a creepy mansion at the end of the road, her stomach was in knots. Gorgug and Riz got out with a bubbling of excitement, Riz talking too quickly and Gorgug not at all. She trailed behind them as the front door opened and a nearly naked person with a long braid of bright red hair exclaimed, 

“It’s the City Boys!” 

A swarm of people emerged from the house and Elyasa took a step back as Riz and Gorgug disappeared into exuberant hugs and seemingly a dozen voices talking over each other. 

“Welcome to Mordred Manor,” someone said to her left. She glanced over and found a human woman her age with a trendy haircut. “You’re Elyasa, right?” 

“Yes?” 

“I’m Tracker,” she held out her hand. “It’s best just to let them run out of gas and then meet everyone. Of course, by then they might be drunk.” 

“Awesome.” 

Tracker led her inside and it was nice to have someone else to talk to as the Bad Kids energy swirled. They were joined by solidly built half-orc after a few minutes, who embraced Tracker and greeted Elyasa like an old friend. 

“I’m Ragh,” he said like she hadn’t seen his face on the cover of dozen magazines and newspapers. 

“You scored five goals in the Grudge Match this year, I know exactly who you are,” she grinned. “It’s great to meet you, I’m Elyasa.” 

“Aw, Gorgug mentions you like all the time. You should come to a game if you’re a fan, I’ll get you guys some tickets.” 

So it wasn’t all bad. They talked bloodrush as the Bad Kids got louder. 

Alcohol came out and there were a lot of toasts. Around then Gorgug retrieved her and  started introducing her before it got too rowdy.  The night went long as names and faces clicked together for her:  Adaine, thoughtful and wry,  Fig, exuberant and charming, Kristin, confusing and earnest. Fabian...well. Fabian was certainly something. 

“Sorry if they were a lot,” Gorgug said as they lay in his childhood bed. It was a tight fit, but she liked being close to him. “Did you like everyone?” 

Elyasa wasn’t much of a liar, so she said, “They were all really interesting.”  And left it there. 

A week later, Gorgug took her out to the first place they’d gone rock climbing. When they reached the top, he gave her a sandwich that was a perfect balance of ham and cheese. After they’d eaten, he pulled out a circlet of braided wire and cleared his throat a few times until he finally got out, 

“I love you, Elyasa. Would you marry me?” 

It hit her like a suckerpunch, unexpected and rendering her breathless. But she gasped her way to, “Yes! Yes, of course.” 

He wanted her to pick out her own ring, so he’d made a placeholder, a few wires braided together.

“I love it.” 

“It’s from the workshop, it’s not the real one,” he protested. “I want you have something nice that you picked out for yourself." 

“I don’t want to spend money on a gemstone,” she gestured at her body. “I’ve got enough on my own. This is special because you made it.” 

“It’ll break,” he protested. 

“Then you’ll make me another one.” 

“I want to spend money on you,” he said. “I’ve been saving up.” 

“Then let’s put it in a savings account. For a house.” 

Her job was steady and his work was only increasing. It wasn’t a crazy idea.  

“A house,” he repeated and he smiled like a sunrise. 

When she told her party, they showered her in so much love that she was dizzy with it.  

“Couldn’t be me,” Opal said as she held her painfully tight. “But I’m so glad it’s you.” 

The wires never did break, cleverly folded in on themselves. She thought they paired well with the simple band of gold that Gorgug put on her finger on a day that she’d spent far too much energy planning. It was a blur of family and flowers and music. What she mostly remembered was being bone tired by the end, falling asleep on top of the covers with Gorgug still in his tuxedo pants beside her. 

The day they moved into their cozy little house was far more memorable and sweet to her. Just the two of them, a moving crew all on their own, carrying in his sturdy handmade bed, her great-grandmother’s bureau and dozens of boxes. They ate cold pizza on the empty kitchen floor, drawing up plans for a renovation that would take years to save for.  She imagined peaceful years of them filling in those rooms with memories and building the kind of life she’d always wanted. 

Two months later, she sat on the narrow stairs and waited for Gorgug to come home with dread knotted in her chest. 

“I’m home!” he started to call up as he came in, carrying a bag of takeout. When he saw her there he set it down immediately, right on the floor. “Babe, are you okay?” 

“We messed up,” she said. “Or one of us did, I don’t know.” 

“With what?” he kneeled down on a step, hands coming to rest on her knees. They were good hands, wide and callused and able. Hands that she loved. His ring was the same gold band as hers, nestled amid the straps of brown leather of his brace.

She had rehearsed how she’d say it, but it came out in a lump, cold and confused, “I’m pregnant.” 

His grip tightened a little, “Oh. Shit.” 

“Yeah,” she laughed without humor. “That’s what I said.” 

“We said someday.” 

“We did,” she met his eyes, trying to read what he was thinking and failing. “Is someday today?” 

“Do you want it to be?” 

“I wanted to have more adventures. I don’t want my party to fall apart.” 

Gorgug nodded slowly, “So you go adventuring and I’ll stay home.” 

“But what if something happens?” 

“Hey,” he leaned in and kissed her forehead. “If you don’t want to be pregnant, then we’ll make that happen, okay? But if you want to be and you’re worried about what life will look like then we’ll figure that out together.” 

“You’re being very calm and reasonable,” she groaned. “Can’t you freak out even a little?” 

“Babe, I am having a full on panic attack, but we gotta take turns on that, so I’m shoving it down until you’re good,” he said and his voice was a little shaky. “We don’t have to decide right this second, right? We’ve got a little time.” 

“Yeah.” 

They ate the takeout, so it didn’t go to waste, boxing far more than usual into the fridge. They sat at the secondhand kitchen table that they’d hauled home from a curb. It was supposed to be a placeholder like so many of their things. A temporary solution while they worked towards ‘someday’.  

“The thing is,” she said eventually, “as soon as I saw those lines, I started crying and I’m still not sure if it was fear or happiness.” 

“What did it feel like?” he asked. 

“Like loading into Opal’s station wagon with three clues and a direction to drive in and not much else.” 

Gorgug nodded, “I think that’s happiness then.” 

He was right. 

“I’m scared,” she said. 

“Me too,” he admitted. “But we’re pretty good at doing scary things together.” 

“We are,” she met his eyes and nodded. “Okay then.” 

He sucked in a breath, “Okay.” 

When Dr. Gajil told them there were two heartbeats, Elyasa felt a thrill of joy lacing through sheer terror. It was bungee jumping. It was running into a dark cave with her party at her back. 

“Two?” Opal screeched. “Girl, what?” 

“You always said I aim for maximum efficiency against all good sense.” 

“I did say that,” Opal shook her head. “Twins! What the fuck.” 

Instead of slowly accumulating things, Gorgug started speedrunning finding furniture for sale on dodgy websites. Elyasa cobbled together a nursery with deals. In the middle of their frenetic attempts to not bankrupt themselves, she got an envelope in the mail. Frowning at the unfamiliar return address, she opened it and found an envelope full of coupons. 

Dear Elyasa, 

I know we haven’t met yet, but my son speaks of you so well and often that it’s hard to remember that. I hope we encounter each other someday soon. For now, from one mother to another, I hope these help a little.  

-Sklonda  

They were very good coupons. 

The next time Riz was over, she told him, “Your mother is awesome.” 

“I know,” he said then stopped. “Wait. Why are you saying that?” 

“She sent me a coupon that got our crib practically for free and it’s not secondhand.” 

Riz’s tail twitched, “She’s great at coupons. Sorry if it was too much.” 

“No, it’s awesome, like I said. Are you staying for dinner? Gorgug is making macaroni and cheese.” 

“Those kids are going to be mostly mac and cheese at this rate,” he teased and she groaned. 

“It’s the only thing that sounds good! They’re dairy demons.” 

Towards the end of her sixth month of pregnancy, Dr. Gajil pulled the rug out beneath her feet by putting her on bedrest.  The words were delivered gravely enough that Elyasa put in for early maternity leave, despite her earlier determination to work to the very end.

“I’ll cut down on my hours,” Gorgug said. 

“You can’t. We need the money,” she said firmly. “It’s fine. Only a few more weeks, I’ll catch up on tv and books before our lives get turned over.” 

But Elyasa wasn’t much for idleness. Her party tried to help, visiting whenever they had time. Opal rubbed her back almost more than Gorgug did and Anyanka made her disgusting smelling teas that worked better than anything on helping her swollen feet.  They had 9-to-5 jobs though and there were only so many long lunch hours they could get away with. 

In the end, it was Riz who kept her company more than anyone else. At least three days a week, he’d turn up at the door with some excuse or another, let himself and then devise a dozen ways to keep her entertained. He brought casework with him and let her fumble her way around clues that he’d probably already figured out. They spread jigsaw puzzles over the kitchen table, picking their way through them while a podcast played. Sometimes, he only sat next to the bed and read her tabloid stories from the worst drek he could find. 

As she rounded into her seventh month, Riz was leaving as Jax came in.  It was the first time she had seen them together since the wedding. It was a split second, a look exchanged and subdued greetings. They both seemed changed from the brief encounter and not for the better. 

“What was that?” she demanded, discomfort rendering her blunter than usual. 

“What was what, Blue?” Jax asked, loading a pan of something into her oven. He was the best cook of all of them, so it would probably be delicious, but her mind was not on lunch. 

“You and Riz.” 

“Ah,” he grimaced. “Me and Riz.” 

The way he said it cut straight through her. 

“You and Riz?” her eyes went wide. “When?” 

“It’s over. Recently. Last week,” he looked away from her. Jax never looked away. “I broke it off.” 

“How long? How come we didn’t know?” 

“It was private,” he folded in on himself.  “Ten months.” 

“Ten months of private?” she asked incredulously. “Jax, you told me when your nipple piercing got infected because you said ‘friends don’t keep secrets’!” 

“It was different. With him,” Jax still wasn’t looking at her. “I- it was serious. I’ve never been serious with someone like that before.” 

She tried to imagine it. Certainly they fit together, two handsome young goblin men, both intense in their own ways. Yet, Jax prided himself on a wide openness that did not gel in her mind with Riz’s closed-down wariness. 

“Did Riz tell anyone?” 

“No. Not that I know of. I think he knew that it wasn’t going to work. Long before I did.” 

“He led you on?” 

“Not like that, Blue, not like that,” Jax smacked his tongue piercing into his teeth, a nervous twitch she hadn’t seen in years. “Maybe I was in the wrong. He was nervous from the start and I thought that was a lack of experience. But I think the whole thing unsettled him.” 

“Gorgug said Riz didn’t go in for romance. That it never came up,” she said softly. 

“He is quite romantic in his own way. But he’s not a lot of other things,” he summoned a pained smile. “It’s not my place to talk about it. I just- I think I screwed up rather a lot, Blue. I broke it off because I’m in love with him.” 

“What kind of sense does that make?” One of the babies kicked hard in agreement and she hid the wince of discomfort. 

“I knew about the other issues pretty early on. The things he can’t do and I could live with those. But somewhere in the last few months, I realized it wasn’t just that. He’s self-destructive in a way I can’t live with.  He does all these horrendously dangerous things alone, all the time. Each time he disappeared to do a job, I’d think ‘oh shit, this could be it’. And I know that’s hypocritical, but at least when I’m running into danger, I have a gorgeous six and a half foot tall woman with a hammer at my side.” 

Elyasa made a soft scoffing noise. “Flattery is not going to distract me right now. You broke up with him because of his soloing?” 

“I couldn’t stand loving someone that didn’t care enough about his own life to at least have a a partner,,” the tongue piercing whacked against Jax’s teeth again. “Maybe it’s dark, but I think...I think he loved me. I don’t think he lied about it. But he didn’t love me enough to stop racing into danger alone.” 

“I’m sorry,” she said heavily. “Fuck, Jax. I’m so sorry.” 

“Hardly your fault, Blue,” he summoned a smile. “I’m the one that just had to have the beautiful hero. Turns out that doesn’t work out for all of us.” 

She started a few sentences, then stopped and only offered, “All of that sucks.” 

Jax sighed heavily. “You know the worst part?” 

“I’m afraid to ask.” 

“He’s going to think he failed at all this and not try again. Even though I think he’s been half in love with someone else for years,” Jax shook his head. 

Elyasa didn’t even have to think about it. She knew, immediately, what was what. She’d seen it at Midsummer as Riz gravitated immediately to one person when they entered Mordred Manor. She’d heard it in his voice every time he told stories. 

“Seacaster,” she said darkly. 

“I didn’t say the name,” Jax said, meeting her eyes. “I never asked Riz directly and you’re not going to either.” 

“I wouldn’t,” she protested. “Of all the people though. That arrogant dickhead?” 

“I’ve never had the pleasure,” Jax shrugged. “I only knew from the way Riz talked around him. The places where he’s absent are more obvious than where he is.” 

All of it was a little too much for a woman trying to keep two hearts beating inside her just a little longer, but Elyasa had never let the impossible stop her.  

“I’m glad you said something,” she held her hand out to Jax. “It’s hard enough to have a broken heart, let alone keeping it quiet.” 

“Fuck,” Jax grimaced and took her hand. Tears crept down his cheeks. “You had to go and say that.” 

She had a hard time hugging anyone right now, but she made her best attempt. Jax wasn’t a weeper, but he held for a good bit of time. 

“Be good to Riz, all right?” Jax asked afterwards. “I broke up with him, not the other way around. I know he’s hurting too and I can’t be the one to help with that. We’re going to be friends again, me and him. I won’t have it any other way, but not just yet.” 

“Of course,” she reached for a paper towel and handed it to him to wipe his face. “You’re too good a friend for anyone to give up on.”

“Stop that,” he blew his nose. “Or I’ll get weepy again and then you’ll start sympathy-crying and Gorgug will get home and think I’m being awful to his pregnant wife.” 

They ate dinner and talked of other things, eventually Gorgug did come home and Jax was utterly himself, at ease and joke-flirting his way through the world. She didn’t love that Jax could turn it on and off like that, but she knew not everyone’s skin was made of stone.

A week later, Elyasa’s body had gotten distracting. She rested as much as she could stand, but that didn’t stop a thousand tiny aches. She had once withstood a blow to the shoulder so hard that she thought her head had come off without making a sound. Now she ached and whined to herself about it endlessly. Her back was bothering her today especially, a low throb that ebbed, only to return when she least expected it. 

Gorgug had come home for lunch. He tried to do it as often as possible, but he was also cramming commissions in order to build up some money for his planned paternity break. They ate over the kitchen sink to save from dirtying dishes. 

“This isn’t very responsible,” Elyasa said. 

“You’re standing up, we’re already rolling the dice,” he pointed out and kissed her, bread crumbs and all. “We’ll be really responsible soon.” 

“I know, I know. When will you be home tonight?” 

“I wanted to check in with you about that. I got a request to bring that wizard’s homunculus over myself. It’d mean a lot of extra coinage, if I stay and give a first lesson on its use, but I wouldn’t be back until nine at the earliest.” 

“You should go,” she said without hesitation, even as the dread of a lonely evening reared its head. The Bonebreakers had taken a short mission without her, with her blessing. Jax needed the distraction and she was lousy company anyway.

“Great, Riz said he can come hang out with you.” 

She wanted to say he didn’t have to do that, but she thought about Jax asking her to be good to him. A mutually beneficial evening couldn’t hurt. 

“I’ll tell him to bring cards. He can finally teach me how to beat at poker.” 

“Never happening,” Gorgug laughed and he was gorgeous like this, standing over the remains of their lunch, tired from too much work, and oil smeared over his shirt. 

“Hey,” she tucked one finger into his belt and dragged him a little closer, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again, slow and sweet.  “I’ll see you tonight.” 

“Say goodnight to the girls and tell them to behave. They listen to you,” she demanded. 

He got down on one knee and said seriously to her stomach, “Now, listen, stop kicking your mom. She’s doing a lot to keep you in there, so maybe you could help out a little.”  

Then he popped a kiss on her stomach too, stood up for another last kiss on the lips and disappeared down the stairs. 

“Just you and me,” she told the babies and went obediently back to bed to die of boredom. 

Despite laying mostly still, her back was killing her.  By the time Riz arrived, she warned him, 

“I’m in a terrible mood. Everything hurts and I want to kill something.”

“Love that,” Riz’s eyebrows flew into his hairline. “How can we safely let you kill something? I guess I could bring in someone off the street. You’d need to use a crossbow or something though, your hammer definitely counts as heavy lifting.” 

“I wasn’t being literal, you maniac,” she sighed. His color was bad, now that she was looking for hints of heartbreak. 

“I’ve got one of those crystal games where you level up to bigger and bigger weapons while you try to take out a dragon.” 

“...gimmie.” 

They played for an hour before she had to get up and at least walk to the bathroom a little to stretch. As she washed her hands, the back pain increased and she held onto the edge of the sink, riding it out. Because it had been waxing and waning. In a pattern. 

She met her face in the mirror, “No,” she said very sternly. 

But she could feel it in her now, the shifting of spirit. The incarnating spirits of ancient doa lay in wait for their moment. 

Moving carefully back into the bedroom, she picked her crystal off her bedside table. Riz kept his eyes on the game, but she could feel his attention tuned to her. She hit a saved contact. 

“You’ve reached Dr. Gajil’s office. If you’re having an emergency, please dial 5 now. If you-” 

Elyasa had never had a true emergency before in her adult life. Usually if something devastating was happening to her body, Harpsthut or Opal fixed it. She hit 5. 

“This is the medical calling service, Enu speaking, how may I assist you?” 

“I’m calling for Dr. Gajil,” she said tightly. “My name is Elyasa Thistlespring-Blufftop and she’s my obstetrician.” 

“Let’s see...okay, m’am, I see. What’s the nature of your emergency?” 

“I think I might be in labor,” Elyasa said carefully. Riz dropped the controller. 

“One moment please,” Enu put her on hold. 

“Where’s your go-bag?” Riz asked. 

“It’s by the front door,” she ran her hand over her belly. “But it’s fine. I’m probably overreacting.” 

“Yes, that sounds like you,” he shook his head and started turning off the system.  

“Mrs. Thistlespring?” Enu came back on the phone.  

“Thistlespring-Blufftop,” she corrected, trying not to grit her teeth. 

“Yes, sorry. Dr. Gajil is currently helping another patient. She advises that you head to the hospital immediately and she will meet you there as soon as possible.” 

“But I’m not sure if I’m actually in labor,” Elyasa said, willing Enu to turn into Dr. Gajil. 

“She’ll determine that when she gets there,” Enu said patiently. “You’re high risk, m’am. You need to go in.” 

“I understand.” 

When she got off, she fought the useless urge to cry and instead texted Gorgug. 

Having some back pain, Dr. Gajil advised me to go to the hospital. Going to ask Riz to take me, finish what you need to finish.   DO NOT RUSH.  Call before you head there, may already be back home by the time you’re done. 

“Here,” Riz stood in front of her with her coat held out. “It’s a little cold. I added a sweatshirt to your go-bag. I’ve got a granola bar too. Once you get there, they’re probably not going to let you eat until everything is done.” 

“How’d you know that?” she asked as she got to her feet.  

“I like to be prepared,” he shrugged. “I’ve got the car started.” 

Riz’s car was too small for her normally, and today was almost impossible, but at least he decided not to drive like the hounds of hell were after him. Not as pathologically carefully as Gorgug had been driving her to appointments the past few weeks, but something closer to an average person’s idea of what driving might look like. 

They got to the hospital as the sun finished setting. 

“I can go in and get a wheelchair.” 

“Absolutely not,” Elyasa heaved herself out of the car. “I’m fine.” 

They did make her sit while she got checked in, so she filled out paperwork as Riz spoke quietly to the intake nurse. They showed her to a room and had her change into a hospital gown. 

“Mrs. Thistlespring? I’m Dr. Cherri,” a pretty half-elf popped her head into the room. “I’m going to see how far along you are, all right?” 

“It's Thistlespring-Blufftop. My doctor should be here soon,” Elyasa told her. 

“I’m sure she will, but we have to get a gauge, all right?” 

“Do you want me to leave?” Riz asked from her shoulder. 

“Not yet,” Elyasa said, eyes on the blond head ducking under the sheets. “Unless you’re uncomfortable.” 

“It’s fine.” 

Dr. Cherri’s head popped back up and she said, “We’re going to move you to a room as soon as possible. You’re about five centimeters dilated. We can get an epidural prepped-” 

“No!” Elyasa snapped then winced, “I mean you can’t. I can’t. It’s in my file.” 

“Oh, let me take a look,” Dr. Cherri reached for a chart at the end of the bed. “But really, it’s up to you regardless. This could be many hours, and it might make you more comfortable.” 

“You don’t understand,” Elyasa tried to sit up. “I can’t take any medication. It interferes with the  szuldar forming. “

“Of course, m’am,” Dr. Cherri said distractedly, reading over something on her chart. She turned slightly away and Elyasa caught her rolling her eyes. Mouthing something to a nurse that looked like ‘religious crazy’. 

Elyasa made a deep pained sound as another wave of pain hit her. Riz put his hand on her wrist lightly and she took his hand, holding on. “Get me a genasi doctor.” 

“We don’t currently have one working,” Dr. Cherri said gently as if Elyasa was a rebellious child. “But I promise you’re in very capable hands.  In the meantime, we can get you comfortable. Someone will be in to move you shortly!”

The white coat disappeared and Elyasa repressed the urge to throw something at her retreating back.  

“Riz,” she turned to him pleading. “Please. I need another genasi. A doctor, a nurse, a fucking orderly!” 

There was a slight noise, something small cracking, probably the cheap plastic of the bed. Riz held eye contact with her seriously. Unwavering. “I find someone or I can stay here with you. What do you want more?” 

“Get help,” she said and tears caught her voice. She was not going to cry today. Not for anything in the world. Her mother hadn’t cried at any of her births and she always said it had given her joyful children. “Please.” 

“Okay, I’m on it. I do need you to let go of my hand to do that.” 

She released him and he was gone in an instant. Riding out the pain, she stared at the cracked ceiling. There was a brief commotion in the hallway and then a daunting silence. Elyasa counted her breaths, trying to keep them slow and regular. Footsteps came back and forth in the hall and then a plodding dwarf came in, gave her a gruff nod, did something to the bed and wheeled her away down the hall. 

Elyasa had never felt more alone in her entire life. Her crystal was impossibly far away in a bag that she’d set down thinking it would only be for a moment. Her hammer was safely in the shed behind the house. There was nothing here to hit. Only the recurring pain and the fear that someone would blunder through this birth and bring her and her babies to ruination. 

The birthing room was probably nice, but she registered none of it as she waited. Five breaths. Ten breaths. Twenty. 

“Hello there,” a warm elderly voice lapped over her. “Are you Elyasa?” 

Standing in the doorway was a nurse with fading blue hair and kind sea-green eyes. A water genasi. Not doa descended, but Elyasa couldn’t have cared less just then.  

“Yes,” she said helplessly. “That’s me.” 

“I’m Nurse Falhain. Your partner was very insistent that you needed help.” 

“I don’t know where my doctor is and the doctor  here is trying to convince me to use an epidural. She thinks I’ve got religious objections,” she said quickly. “ You know though, right? You understand. I can’t do that or the babies- I know we’re not-” 

“We’re similar enough that I’ll be talking to the doctor’s department head very sternly as soon as I get a chance,” Nurse Falhain came to her side. “I’m not in obstetrics, your partner found me in cardiology, but I’ve birthed a few babies of my own once upon a time. I think I can manage to explain a few things before things really kick off.” 

“Thank you,” Elyasa summoned a smile though it wasn’t sitting right. “My- the man who found you, where is he?” 

“Evading hospital security at the moment,” Nurse Falhain said, sounding very amused. “But I think he’s got a fair trick or two on him and will be back with you presently. How about I stay until he arrives?” 

“Would you?” Elyasa could’ve kissed her. “Thank you.” 

“The first one is always the toughest.” 

“Two,” Elyasa groaned. 

“Twins! Goodness, you’re handling it very well,” Nurse Falhain sat down and chattered with her about the price of specialty baby food until Riz reappeared in the doorway. He was holding his right arm strangely, and his hair was a mess. 

“Okay?” He checked with Elyasa. 

“Yes, thanks to you.” 

“Gorgug is about twenty minutes out,” he said solemnly. “I called your doctor’s office again and she’s almost out of surgery, so hopefully she can be within the hour.” 

“Oh,” Elyasa didn’t cry. Twenty minutes and an hour sounded very far away.  

Nurse Falhain gave her a warm smile and a reassuring pat on the arm. “I’m going to go sort out with our Dr. Cherri and I’ll be back in a tick, now that your partner is back.” 

“I’m a friend,” Riz gave her a tight smile. “Husband is on his way.” 

“Quite the dedicated friend! We could all use one or two of those. Go on and sit.”

Riz took over the chair. “Sorry I couldn’t manage any faster.” 

“It was plenty fast,” she swallowed hard. “You got her in time. They almost- you don’t know. But the doa, they have to incarnate into the babies. It’s not religious shit, it’s fact, okay?” 

“I listened,” Riz said softly. “I remember. They create the path for szuldar, so you don’t grow the geodes internally and fuck up their organs. It happened to your cousin’s third child, you told me.” 

“Yes, that, exactly,” she nodded. “I just- oh, I made such a mess of all this. I’m going to be a terrible mother!” 

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said, a little wild around the eyes. “It’s okay. You’re going to be totally okay.” 

“But it’s my fault,” she inhaled shakily. “I didn’t rest enough and now they’re going to be early, and they’re not ready for the world.” 

“That’s not true,” he assured  her. “Come on, you’re already an amazing Mom. We all know how hard this has been for you.” 

“It should’ve been easy,” she grimaced. “All I had to do was lay down!” 

His eyes got even wilder and his shoulders rounded down. “You were trying so hard. We all saw it, okay? We know. Those kids are going to be so lucky.” 

She didn’t even know what she wanted him to say. “I’m not supposed to be this afraid. I’m supposed to be the tough one. The one who goes in first.  I have to be brave for them.” 

“Hey, can I tell you a secret?” 

“Um, yeah,” she sniffled. Not crying because she wasn’t going to cry. 

“I stole a lollipop from pediatrics. Do you want it?” 

“What? Riz!” It startled into her laughter. “You stole candy from children?” 

“Not out of their mouths or anything! They were in a container at the nurses’ station! I know you’re not supposed to eat, but I don’t think a lollipop should count.” 

“What flavor?” 

“Melon.” 

She held her hand out for it and he fumbled it from his pocket, handing it over. She stuck it in her mouth.  The bright sweet flavor was pleasantly distracting for a minute or so. When her next contraction hit, she shattered the remaining candy between her teeth and her hand flailed out to grab hold of anything solid. 

Riz met her grip with his left hand and didn’t let go. When it passed she exhaled shakily. Nurse Falhain came back in with another nurse, who asked Elyasa questions and treated her with much more respect as she checked in on things. Nurse Falhain gave Elyasa’s shoulder a pat, 

“See there we go. Just a little knowledge goes a long way.” 

“It really does,” Elyasa nodded, a hair too fervently. 

Falhain stayed, pulling over another chair and Riz let Elyasa keep holding his hand. Some unknowable time later, a voice boomed through the corridor, a barbarian’s rage shaking the walls. 

“WHERE IS MY WIFE?” 

“In here!” Riz yelled out. 

When Gorgug appeared in the doorway, Elyasa had to do some deep breathing. No tears. Not today. 

“Hey, babe,” his voice immediately dropped to its usual mellow, sweet register. “How’re you doing?” 

“I’ve been better.” 

Riz slipped out of her grip and Gorgug took over, his hand folding over hers. 

“This is Nurse Falhain,” Elyasa said. “Nurse, this is my husband.” 

“A pleasure,” Nurse Falhain said. “I was brought in to clarify some cultural misunderstandings. I believe Dr. Gajil will be here shortly.” 

“Okay,” Gorgug nodded. “Sounds good, thanks for being here.” 

“Oh, it’s the most interesting night I’ve had in some time,” she said gaily. “It’s nice to be around someone about to be born instead of someone about to die for once.” 

"I- sure. Okay."  Gorgug blinked. 

“She’s been a life saver.” Elyasa wasn’t going to tell Gorgug how close things had been cut. She needed her patient lover, not the barbarian tonight. 

As if his arrival signaled something to the universe, Dr. Gajil did arrive only a few minutes later, the glitter of ruby skin another near fatality to Elyasa’s composure.  After another check, this time with familiar competence, Dr. Gajil clapped her hands together, 

“Things are progressing!  Elyasa, as of right now, the babies are both in good shape. We’ll keep monitoring them throughout, of course.  Nurse Falhain, thank you for your services this evening. If you have time, later this week, I believe we should meet to discuss some workshops that may be required.” 

“I would love that,” Nurse Falian gave Elyasa’s shoulder a last squeeze. “Good luck, dear girl. I’ll try to stop in at the end of my shift and see how you’re getting on.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Elyasa said weakly. 

Nurse Falian only smiled and left. 

The business of her children being born distracted Elyasa quite thoroughly after that.  They arrived one after the other as the clock rolled over to 1am, tiny, but screamingly healthy.  Elyasa held two small warm wiggling bodies to her chest. They were both a pale green, punctuated by their sapphire szuldar. At last, she let herself cry into their wispy hair while Gorgug held one tiny hand with equally shining eyes. 

“My mother,” she realized belatedly. “I didn’t tell my mother. Or Opal! Or anyone!” 

“Riz has your crystal and he’s been texting people. Don’t worry,” he stroked one finger over Tilandor’s cheek. “Look at them! Look at our girls.” 

“I can’t look at anything else.” 

Too soon after that the babies were bundled away to be checked and observed. Gorgug had followed after at her request, to keep an eye on them. Just as he stepped out, Opal appeared as if by magic. 

“Blue!” she tumbled in, her hair sticking out in every direction. “Oh, Blue, you did it!” 

“I did!” Elyasa laughed exhausted and accepted the awkward angled hug. “What are you doing here?” 

“I came as soon as Riz said the girls arrived. I wanted to make sure you got through it all right,” Opal settled beside her. “I saw them in their little bassinets! You did that.” 

“I did,” Elyasa laughed shakily. “I really did.” 

“And you only had one casualty! Better than our norm. Though I think someone ought to tell you that you’re meant to crush the hand of the guy that did it to you, not an innocent bystander.”  

“What do you mean?” Elyasa was having a little trouble keeping thoughts in her head. Manifesting the spirits of your ancestors into two wriggling bodies while also physically pushing them out of one’s body was kind of a lot. 

“Bad joke,” Opal said quickly. “All is well.” 

Usually Elyasa would’ve been on her like a dog with a bone, but she was very very tired. “Okay.” 

“Rest your eyes, Blue,” Opal reached out to smooth a lock of hair off her forehead. “I’ve got this shift on watch, okay?” 

“Okay,” and she fell into a deep sleep. 

Her in-laws were in her house when they got home a few days later. They had prepped the nursery and gladly lended their hands to a dozen helpful things. They wore Elyasa out with their constant chatter and she had accidentally almost kicked them a few times lumbering to the bathroom, but she was very grateful for their attentive aid. 

The girls were miraculous and beautiful and needy. Elyasa slept very little or too much, Gorgug with her every step of the way until he finally had to tell her, 

“I have to go back at least a few hours a week or we’re going to be short on the mortgage at the end of the month.” 

Her maternity leave was nearly at an end. It would only be a few weeks before the girls were in daycare and she would lose these precious hours with them. 

“I have it,” she assured him and sent him to his workshop. 

For the first two days, she did have it. Then Tilly got off her nap schedule for some tiny baby reason. The descent into a sleepless, confused hell was rapid. 

One day she was staring blankly at a bottle, trying to remember if she was meant to be filling it or washing it when there was a knock on the door. 

“Who is it?” she growled. 

“I have lunch and two arms,” said Riz. “I can leave the lunch if you want or come in and you can make use of the arms.” 

She threw open the door, “Arms.” 

“Great!” He said cheerily. “Where do you need me?” 

He washed bottles, moved laundry from machine to machine and then as a reward, Elyasa ordered him into a rocking chair, stuck a bottle in his hand and a baby more carefully into his arms. Then she lay down on the floor and passed out right next to the crib in case anyone started crying. 

When she woke up hours later, Riz had clearly changed a diaper and was holding Mig instead of Tilly. He winked at her as she sat up and pointed to the bathroom, then held his nose. She made a face at him, but also made good on the offer. Showered, napped, and with the knowledge that there were clean clothes for everyone, the day no longer felt insurmountable. 

“I didn’t eat lunch,” she recalled as she tenderly took Mig from him, once more happy to have the scrunchy face aimed at her. 

“It’s practically dinner now. Gorgug’s nearly home. I can go reheat it.” 

“That would be amazing.” 

They even managed to mostly eat together, though Gorgug had Mig on his chest the whole time and Elyasa wound up with Tilly around the halfway point. Over dessert,  Riz’s crystal pinged and he took it out with an annoyed look that rapidly went serious, 

“I’ve got to go.” 

“Thanks for coming,” she said and hoped he heard every layer of her gratitude. 

Mig burbled and Gorgug took her hand and in the tiny voice they’d started for when the girls were ‘talking’ said “Bye, bye Uncle Riz!” 

For a moment, it was as if Gorgug had slapped Riz straight across the face. Then he blinked and gave a half-smile. 

“Bye, kiddos, be good!” And disappeared down the stairs. 

“Sorry, was that weird? It was weird,” Gorgug groaned. “My brain is toast.” 

“Mine too,” she sighed. “It’s okay.” 

“I did mean it though. He is basically their uncle, right? Or is that bad? They do have uncles and aunts on your side.” 

She shrugged, “I don’t see any of them showing up to help. I love them, but they’re not going to be here. They’ll be visitors once a year. Holiday relatives. Riz is here. Why not him?” 

“What about your party?” 

“What about yours?” she gave him a wane smile. “I don’t think our friends were ready for kids to show up this early.  If I called Opal an auntie, I think she’d have a full on stroke.” 

“I guess you’re right,” he kissed the top of Mig’s head.  “We’ll play it by ear, maybe.” 

It might’ve been unfair. Certainly Opal bought the girls the best gifts and Kristin blessed them so hard that neither of them ever got sicker than a cold even after they started daycare. No one ever complained about it to their faces though. The girls had a lot of people in their lives, but only one Uncle. 

Their lives were all very domestic and normal. Elyasa went back to work and her life was babies and meetings.  Until the call came when the girls were eighteen months old. 

“I wouldn’t ask,” Opal said over the phone, “but I can’t do it without you.” 

“Then I’m there,” Elyasa said, only regretting it a little when she hung up. 

When she told Gorgug, she prepared for him to be angry or at least annoyed. To say something about how he thought she’d get over it once she had the girls. Instead he nodded, and with a rueful smile said, 

“I’m surprised it took this long,” and kissed her. Then he helped her pack a bag, including a ham and cheese sandwich for good luck. 

It was hard saying goodbye to the girls, kissing them on their plump cheeks and hugging them both tightly, but as she walked away, there was a sense of lightness that filled her. Going back to her day job had been awful. Standing at the foot of a black portal with Jax, Anyanka, Harpsthut, and Opal was like going home. 

The job itself was straightforward: takeout a rival of Opal’s Grandfather. The harder part was keeping Opal on task as Grandfather asked her to teach him how to use the apps on his crystal, change out some of the cavern’s lightbulbs and collect the imps annual grievance lists. 

Grandfather was a squat, many-legged infernal with dinnerplate eyes and wispy white hair. He was also a gracious host and doted on Opal as much as he ran her around. He plied her with new armor and fresh spells, told stories of her childhood with misty-eyed fondness, and called her ‘Oppie’. It was almost sweet if they hadn’t been surrounded by horrifying sights around every corner. 

The night before the big battle, her crystal pinged with a video file. Riz had sent it with the text: in case you were worried about the homefront

In the video, Gorgug was sitting on the kitchen floor, Mig on his left and Tilly on his right. They all had upturned pots in front of them and a collection of spatulas and wooden spoons in their hands. With exaggerated slowness, Gorgug banged out a beat on his pot. Mig’s brow furrowed as she exuberantly smacked her pot with her spatula, laughing uproariously. Tilly serenely picked up her father’s rhythm, an immediate natural. 

Gorgug’s smile was as bright and happy as the girls’. 

“That is not a face you make looking at your kids,” Jax scolded, leaning over to look at her screen.

“The face isn’t for them,” she rolled her eyes and played it again. 

“Oh gross, she’s hot for her husband,” Opal groaned. “Don’t you know that once you’re married with kids you’re supposed to be disgruntled and sexless?” 

“I missed that part of the manual,” Elyasa shrugged.  “It’s hot that he’s a good dad.”

“Good for you,” Jax winked. “Get it, Blue.” 

When she got home, she kissed her babies, put them tenderly down for a nap, then reminded Gorgug how they’d gotten into this situation in the first place with a visual and tactile demonstration.

Maybe it wasn’t the timeline she had planned it all out on, but it wasn’t bad to have a gorgeous, sweet husband, two beautiful children and a side hustle that she loved.  The girls grew in spurts and bounds until their Uncle Riz couldn’t pick them up anymore.  They sprouted personalities and opinions. Life was, in many ways, predictable. 

If she had to point to the next wrench in the works, it’s name would’ve been Fabian Seacaster. 

She heard his name first like thunder before lightning. 

“Fabian is in town,” Gorgug told her as they did the dishes together one night. “Do you mind if I meet him for drinks on Friday?” 

“Of course,” she summoned a smile. “That’s great. Have fun!”

Gorgug having a friend she wasn’t fond of was an irritant, but hardly worth thinking about. But then over dinner the following week, Riz said with faux casualness, 

“So Fabian is sticking around for a bit.” 

“Seems like it,” Gorgug agreed. “He’s serious about this project. I didn’t think he’d get off the Hangout for something he wasn’t.” 

“Yeah,” Riz accepted the spoonful of peas that Mig tilted onto his plate like she was being subtle. Elyasa didn’t even call her on it, too absorbed by the change to Riz as he said, “It’ll be good to see him more often for now.” 

There was fear in his eyes and hope in his voice. Elyasa glanced at Gorgug, but he was absorbed in Tilly spilling her milk again. The conversation moved on (forcibly hijacked as Mig insisted on recounting her meeting with a pigeon again). Elyasa had a thousand other things on her mind with the work conference coming up. 

And then Fabian was in her house, with her children, standing next to Riz like he belonged there. 

Arrogant, careless, Fabian, who the first time they’d met had called her ‘Elizabeth’ and referred to her dear friend as ‘The Ball’ like he was something to be tossed aside. Fabian with the ugly declarative neck tattoo, pirate costume and haughty voice.  Everything about him had been designed to needle Elyasa and having him uninvited in her space should have made her seethe. 

But she wasn’t an uncertain, rigid twenty-four year old anymore and maybe Fabian wasn’t either. His casual dismissal of her back then had been a part of a pattern amid all the Bad Kids, the sort of protective self-involvement that shoved out interlopers. They had all slowly broken free of it and Elyasa liked them all much more now. Why couldn’t Fabian change too? 

It didn’t hurt that there was something in how his body language was aimed entirely at Riz as if he was listening with every part of himself. 

As Gorgug and Elyasa lay together in their bed that night, the moon slanting across Gorgug’s chest and her shoulder, she asked, 

“What do you think is up with Fabian and Riz?” 

“What do you mean?” he asked around a yawn. 

“Seems like something changed there.” 

“Dunno,” he rubbed his thumb over her shoulder. “Riz has always been intense about Fabian. But he’s intense about a lot of things.” 

So no long hidden Bad Kids-only theory then. Elyasa decided to keep watch and otherwise let it go. If she noticed Fabian trailing around after Riz at Riz’s birthday, she kept it to herself.  If she heard Fabian’s names a dozen times more than usual from Riz’s lips, she acknowledged that he was around a lot more these days. 

And if on Wednesday night, she came home to Fabian setting the table while Riz slid the garlic bread into the center as if they had done it a thousand times before, then she might decide she better start making friends with Fabian Seacaster. 

They went out onto the front lawn while Fabian sharpened her dagger, a peace offering that he took readily.  When Riz popped back inside to use the bathroom, she asked, 

“What’s multiclassing as a bard like? I considered it for a bit in college, took a few classes. I couldn’t figure out how to integrate an instrument into my battle style.” 

“Dance is easier,” he nodded, eyes on the whetstone. He was aesthetic in a way she could appreciate without finding it particularly attractive. “There’s a natural flow between the sword and intentional movement.” 

“I like the simplicity of hitting things with my hammer,” she admitted ruefully. “It’s not exactly symphonic, but it gets the job done.” 

“One of my crewmembers saw your party in action. She told me that she’d never seen someone explode from the force of a hammer before, so I think you’re doing just fine.” 

Elyasa grinned, despite herself. “It’s a very good hammer. My grandmother made it for me.” 

“My grandfather made my sword! He didn’t make it for me, but it is nice to have a legacy weapon.” 

“I still have the ribbon from the wrapping tied around it,” she nodded. “She’s gone now, so it’s a nice reminder.” 

“May her spirit lie with your most cherished doa,” Fabian paused in his work to make the familiar hand gesture. 

Elyasa stared at him, “How do you-” 

“I’ve spent a lot of time roaming the earth and I try to learn at least a little from every place I go,” Fabian went back to sharpening the knife. “I try to only give offense on purpose. Ignorance can be a dangerous thing.” 

“It can,” she said softly and for the first time, thought she might see the man that Riz saw in him. “Have you studied goblin culture?” 

Fabian fumbled the whetstone for a moment and she had to work to keep a straight face, “A little. As much as anything else.” 

“You’ll need to be patient,” she stretched out. 

“With what?” Fabian tilted his head in the exact same way Riz did when he was given an especially vexing clue. That was cute. 

“Whatever happens next. When they talk about relationships being work, it’s mostly about patience. With yourself. With your partner.” 

Fabian stared at her and she met his gaze with placid calm. “That’s what they mean?” 

“Well, it’s what I mean,” she relaxed into the grass. “I think the work is making sure you’re keeping pace. It’s like in battle:  you have to be attuned to the rest of the party, communicating the whole time, even when it feels like it would be easier to surge ahead and do the work yourself. Sometimes especially then.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, a little broken open. 

“I’ve got a lot of friends, but my kids only have one person they call uncle. Let’s call it a vested interest.” 

The front door opened and Riz sat back down next to Fabian on the front steps. “The kids tried to stage an insurrection and get an extra bedtime story out of me. Your husband held the line.” 

“Brave warrior,” Elyasa laughed. 

The edge Fabian put on her dagger stayed razor sharp for a long time. 

Riz and Fabian’s coupledom didn’t shift the day to day runnings of her household. Riz still turned up to babysit and eat Big Dinner with them once a month. Sometimes Fabian was with him, sometimes he wasn’t and Elyasa found herself starting to miss him a little when he wasn’t there.  

Then the Incident After the Ochre Islands happened and the world grew a little more unsteady under her feet. 

“We should have a barbecue,” Elyasa said to Gorgug as they folded laundry together. “For the girls’ birthday.” 

“I thought we were taking them to the Solacian Girl Doll Experience?” 

“Yes, that’s for them. But as a sort of family party. Now that all your people are closer by. Blend things up a little.” 

Gorgug balled together electric green socks (Mig’s favorites), “Is that a good idea?” 

“I think maybe we should’ve done it a long time ago,” she paused in her t-shirt folding. “Nine years and we’ve kept them almost entirely apart.” 

“Not on purpose,” Gorgug knocked his shoulder against hers.  

“A little on purpose,” she countered. 

“A little,” he conceded. “Why now?” 

“If we’re going to war, then our allies should be allies.” 

“It’s not an actual war,” he reached for another pair of socks. 

She reached out and grabbed his hand in hers, holding tight, “Babe, it doesn’t need to be swords to the throat to be a war. We have to take it seriously. Aguefort isn’t some harmless little old man.” 

“I know that,” he grimaced. “I do. I’m taking it seriously. We can have a barbecue. It’d be nice to break out the grill.” 

She let him buy whatever meat he wanted, even if it dented their grocery budget for the month.  Her husband was a patient soul with a love of basking in his friends’ chaotic hurricane presence, but even he had his limits. Standing by the grill, minding the obscenely large ribs that he’d sourced would help keep his peace intact. 

The afternoon was warm and bright, their small backyard crowded with chairs borrowed from several neighbors. The girls were already wild with anticipation, climbing all over the small jungle gym their grandparents had built for them. 

People started to trickle in and at first, the two parties settled into loose groups at either side of the yard like middle schoolers at a dance. 

“This is sad,” Elyasa mumbled, then turned to Jax, “You don’t even have an excuse. I know for a fact you’ve been begging Riz to introduce you to Fig for years.” 

“I’m trying to hype up Opal,” he hissed at her. “She wants to meet her too, but you know how fucked up she is about other tieflings.” 

“Ugh,” Elyasa rolled her eyes and went over to where Fig was talking to Kristin. “I need to borrow you.” 

“Me?” Fig asked. 

“My friend Jax has a music crush on you and Opal desperately wants to know how you got your horns gold tipped.” 

“She does? But hers are so cool! I wanted mine to curl like that,” Any cool detachment someone saw in Fig broke away to giddy excitement. “I can tell her exactly where though.” 

“C’mon then,” Elyasa crossed the line back to her party. “Fig, this is Jax Ruckrun and Opal Loog.” 

“Hey,” Jax held out his hand, “I fucking loved Five Feathers in the Dark . Still my go-to rainy day song.” 

“Really?” Fig shook his hand eagerly. “I didn’t think anyone still listened to that. Riz mentioned you’re building a rec facility, right? If you need to do a fundraiser, I’ve been looking for gigs that keep me local.” 

“Are you serious?” Jax’s eyes went wide. “That’d be amazing.” 

“Very serious. I have to spend a few days a week in the Bottomless Pit and sometimes I need a break. Hell is so crowded, you can’t even think around there sometimes.” 

“Right?” Opal blurted, seemingly despite herself. “It’s all the whining of the damned, how does anyone think?” 

“I’ve got music studios going, it blots out some of it.” 

Satisfied that they no longer needed her to keep going, Elyasa stepped away and wandered back over to the Bad Kids side. 

“Hey, Willow, would you mind taking a look at our flower bed? I followed all your suggestions, but I got barely a dozen plants going.” 

“Oh, sure,” Willow went to where Elyasa led her, Kristin on her heels. As Willow squatted down and started poking in the soil, Anyanka’s curiosity got the better of her. 

“Blue has a black thumb,” she announced. “I don’t think she’ll ever make something come up.” 

“Anyone can grow things. They need focus and the right information,” Willow argued quietly. 

“Kristin, have you met Anyanka?” Elyasa asked brightly.

“Don’t think so. Hey,” Kristin gave an acknowledging nod. 

“I came to one of your services, many years ago,” Anyanka said. “Only a face in the crowd, you wouldn’t have seen me. I found your sermons odd.” 

“Sure, that’s by design,” Kristin laughed. “Gotta sow doubt, even if it’s in me, you know? Why were you popping into my neck of the woods?” 

“I have an interest in all gods. I came to Four Voices to hear of Ankarna, but I found your teachings not entirely at odds with those that I grew up with.” 

“Skerrit?” Kristin guessed. 

"Yes, exactly." 

“Mommy!” Mig called and Elyasa went to arbitrate an argument and give out juice boxes. 

“I see what you’re up to,” Riz appeared at her elbow. 

“Is it working?” 

“Of course, it is. I told Adaine about Harpsthut’s research into enhanced magical abilities in dual species individuals and now we’ll be lucky if either of them come up for air long enough to eat,” he said, clearly very pleased with himself. 

“What about Fabian?” she asked. 

“Well,” Riz rocked back on his heels, clearly amused. “I figure two fighters might have a thing or two to say to each other.” 

“I talk to him all the time,” she snorted.  

“Maybe he’s got something new to say.” 

Whether Fabian did or didn’t, Elyasa was quickly distracted with bringing out side dishes and drinks as Gorgug plated ribs, hamburgers, steaks and giant marinated mushrooms. Small clusters popped up around the yard. With the seal broken, conversations overlapped and pockets of laughter broke out. The girls were in heaven, dashing from willing adult to willing adult for attention and the best bites of food. 

As it grew dark, they pulled out the cakes, with a dragon topper for Mig and a monkey for Tilly. Candles were blown out, wishes made, the girls ran around for another half hour before getting bundled off to bed. Elyasa came back down and had a beer handed to her by Gorgug. 

“I’ll take tonight,” he kissed her cheek. “You did all the setup.” 

“Thanks, babe.” 

She carried her beer towards Opal, but somehow wound up standing towards the back of the yard, watching and soaking in the moment. Or maybe she was waiting. 

Fabian poured himself a plastic cup of wine (a bottle of red that he’d brought and everyone else was ignoring) and floated to her side.  

“A well-executed evening,” he raised his glass to her. She touched her beer bottle to it.  

“Thanks.” 

“Riz mentioned you’ve given up on your job search.” 

She sighed, “For now. The pay is good, and the benefits are even better. Anywhere else I go is a detriment to both.” 

“Are there parts of your job that you enjoy, at least?” 

“Oh sure. I like being outside and my team is pretty good. Organizing projects can be interesting. Like a puzzle,” she took a long draw on her beer.  

“And you’d prefer to be adventuring.” 

“Not full time,” she shrugged. “But more often? Yes. That’s a pipe dream though. We’ve all got responsibilities.” 

“And what if your responsibilities overlapped with adventuring?” 

Elyasa gave him a sidelong glance. “What are you getting at?” 

“I’ve been thinking that one of the shortcomings of Aguefort was that no one cared to teach us how to work together. We had to figure that out ourselves and teenagers aren’t exactly experts at interpersonal communication,” Fabian took a sip of his wine. “What we need is a class that focuses on group dynamics, both in and out of combat. We won’t have parties decided in freshman year, probably not even by graduation, so it’ll be rotating groups, learning to work with all sorts of people. A complicated thing to teach. It would need a compelling teacher.” 

“I’m a surveyor,” she said blankly. “I thought I’d help with landing locations. Maybe a little admin work while you were still getting off the ground.” 

“You’re the finest party leader I’ve ever met.” 

“I’m not the leader,” Elyasa laughed. “It’d be like herding cats! Can you imagine?” 

“Jax!” Fabian called out. Jax looked up with a momentary flash of annoyance from his conversation with Kristin. “Who is the leader of the Bonebreakers?” 

“Big Blue!” Jax whooped without missing a beat then turned back to Kristin. 

“No, but-” she started. 

“Harpsthut?” Fabian called. 

“Obviously, it’s Blue,” she scoffed. “Don’t ask stupid questions.” 

“Opal!” 

“My girl who kicks open all our doors and negotiates all our fees,” Opal did finger guns at Elyasa. "All hail, our grand leader!"

“I don’t- I never once called myself that,” Elyasa protested. “Someone has to make the final call in the heat of the moment, that’s all.” 

“Do they?” Fabian snorted. “Kristin!” 

“What!” she barked, equally annoyed as Jax. “Fabian, seriously, you have legs, walk over here!” 

“I’m proving a point! Who is the leader of the Bad Kids?” 

“We don’t have a leader!” 

Fig chimed in, “Anarchy!” 

“More like a democracy,” Riz cut in. “With bouts of anarchy.” 

“I’m the skipper!” Gorgug called out from the grille.   

Fabian turned back to Elyasa. 

“We’re a democracy too,” she protested. “I don’t do things they’d disagree with or would hurt them.” 

“Democracies still have leaders, I believe. I think we have more a anarco-socialist thing oing on,” Fabian said dryly. “You’d have to teach some fighter classes too to get a full time job, but I think you’d find it enjoyable. In good weather, all physical education will take place on the top deck. You’ll be outside as much as you’d like. 

“Ayda is going to help us put in commuter doors for teachers and students that choose not to live on the ship. You’d come home to the family every night. We’ll make sure the salary is competitive and the girls will attend for free if they’d like when they’re of age.” 

“There’s not even a school yet,” she said faintly. 

“It’ll be here sooner than any of us are ready for. I’m sure you’ll want to think it over and talk to Gorgug. It’s an open offer. If you want to come on sooner, then I could certainly use as much help as I can get in developing the curriculum.” 

“I don’t know anything about that.”

“Welcome to the club. We’re going to grope around in the dark together,” he sounded far too happy about that. “Just think about it. Get back to me when you’re ready.” 

He ambled off to lean over the back of the chair Riz had claimed to talk to Opal. Without so much as an ear twitch of acknowledgement, Riz reached up, stole the cup out of Fabian’s hand, downed it and stuck it back into Fabian’s still waiting fingers. Fabian made a sound of disgust and dropped a kiss into Riz’s hair. 

Across the lawn in the half-moon’s silver light, Gorgug was listening as Anyanka described something with a lot of hand gestures. The white of his hair stood out like a beacon. Elyasa crossed the lawn and slid her hand around his bicep. He shuffled in a little closer, sharing his warmth as the chill of the night started to tiptoe over her. 

“All right?” he asked, quietly enough that Anyanka wouldn’t hear. 

She rested her head on his shoulder. His sweatshirt was worn and soft beneath her cheek. He smelled like charcoal, charred meat and sunscreen. Inside their cozy home, the girls were safe in their beds and out here, the fate of a generation was being decided in snatches of conversations between new friends.  

“Yes,” she decided. “Never better.”