Chapter Text
The fights were small, or maybe they were just quieter. It didn’t matter, I just knew they were beginning to get louder each time. Covid had died down, along with millions of others. Papa had moved 3 times over the Covid years. Mama still worked during COVID-19, something about healthcare workers needing to. Dad could’ve stayed home, I don’t think it’d feel livier if he did. Livvy had just turned 16, late last August, it was a big deal and everyone was happy. Papa even stayed for 2 weeks before going back to Nelson for work. I thought it was weird Papa moved so much, he said we should move with him. Both he and Mama agreed on that, but all of my siblings and I disagreed. ‘We have friends here!’ We’d argue whenever they brought it up.
That makes me think about my new friends, Iams in Intermediate now. I had two schools. Go to where Livvy went or go to where Luka went. Luka's place was a much more academic school. STEM and all that. Livvy was hands-on, learning about the world and society. I picked Livvy’s old school, it was closer, anyway. I had some of my old classmates there, it was a small school, and everyone knew everyone. It was to be expected, basically everyone in this suburb was connected. We were a tight-knit class, or I think we are. ‘Only 3 weeks in and we’re acting like we’ve known each other our entire lives,’ I muse. I made two new friends already, they’re both nice, but trios never work, one is bound to be left out and that someone is somehow always me. It’s calm but, noisy. I find peace and happiness in the weird or quiet people class when my 2 ‘best friends’ forget me. I find laughter in the boys who seem a little rough and eccentric, who always seem to make me smile.
I think about my old friends in my school, 5 years together, gone. We see each other everywhere, I smile at them, nostalgia hitting me hard. I know everything about them, and they still know nothing about me. I wonder why we don’t talk anymore… ‘ God, don’t go there. You know why .’ The harsh voice interrupted. ‘ They left you behind. Because they’re better .’ I shake my head. ‘God damn, anxiety.’
3 weeks in I got the news, that I was in an English Extension class. I always knew I was advanced in English but seriously? I always liked reading and my family said I was always daydreaming. I was pleased with myself. I was good at something. Something I liked doing! My friends seemed weird around me after that, but I shrugged it off, my teacher congratulated me, he was new and was my favourite teacher so far. I came home and told Mama, she was practically beaming. “You’re just like your sister!” She proudly exclaimed. My smile dimmed, barely. Right. Of course, I was, Papa started talking about ho, and Livvy was in English Extension and Maths Extension. I quietly left the room, Livvy was studying for a test. Highschooler stuff. And Luka, recently in high school, was given tons of homework for the first week. I hid in my room for the rest of the day. ‘ Just like your sister…’ The words repeat in my head… I didn’t sleep that night. Papa left early in the morning, and Mama left as I woke up.