Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a bitterly cold day in late March. Freez­ing winds rush­ed through the air in Left Flank Town, chill­ing every­one to the bone, which would not help third-year students at PK Aca­demy do well in their final exams. The clouds above were dark and sinister, not let­ting much sun­light through. Four third-year students ambled their way to­wards school: Kaidō Shun the chū­ni­byō, Nendō Riki the moron­ic gorilla, Kuboyasu Aren the re­form­ed yankee, and Saiki Kusuo the psychic. They all felt a strange fore­bod­ing as they approach­ed the school, not nece­ssari­ly because of the weather.

"I feel danger lurking nearby," Kaidō ruminated, trying to be my­steri­ous, speak­ing into his hand which he was still coveri­ng in fake red bandages.
"What? No way," Nendō answer­ed non­cha­lant­ly, "It's just cloudy. Nothing's coming to get us, Chibi."
"Of course you wouldn't notice!" the chibi chūni com­plained, "The tem­per­at­ure's only sharp­ly drop­ped over­night! This must be-"
'Don't start,' Saiki lament­ed to himself.
"It is weird, mate. I'll give you that," Kubo­yasu butt­ed in, saving the rest of them from another 'Dark Reunion' mono­logue, "But it's just the weather. There's no­thing in­herent­ly sin­ister about it. It's some­thing else, I think..."
"Chibi's just scared he'll fail his exams today," teased the colo­ssal gibbon.
"What?! No!!" yelled Shun, voice crack­ing before he clear­ed his throat and re­gain­ed his com­pos­ure, "I couldn't care less about some puny exams. Not when they might be render­ed ir­rele­vant at any time-"
'Scamdemic's five years away, Kaidō,' the psy­chic ψ­lent­ly commented.
"-by a Dark Reunion surprise attack!" the small guy con­tinu­ed un­deter­red, check­ing over his shoul­ders and doing a terr­ible attempt at a fight­ing stance.

Nendō just sighed, thinking to himself, 'This Dark Ryu Neon stuff is boring. I wish he'd come up with some­thing new.'
Kusuo balked at what he just heard. 'Did Nendō just-?!'
All of a sudden, some random second-year dick­head in the dis­tance shout­ed homo­phobic slurs at Kuboyasu and Kaidō, at which the tall guy sent him a menac­ing glare and flip­ped him off. The dick­head got spook­ed and began speed-walk­ing to the front gate, hang­ing his head in fear and shame.
"Wow. What an asshole," Kaidō kom­mented.
"Why would he say that?" asked Nendō, con­fused at the exist­ence of homo­phobes.

'That's unusual,' Saiki observed, 'There's also a lot more noise com­ing from school than normal. Something's happen­ed, and these three have pick­ed up on it too.'
"Why's school so noisy?" asked the gorilla, staring blank­ly in its general direction, mak­ing Saiki wary of what was going on up there as he'd gone silent again.
"Oh no," said Shun, turning red and start­ing to sweat, "I-is this... because... we're-?"
"Not on my watch!" Aren declared, "I won't let any of them get in­between us, babe."
"Arennn!" the small one com­plain­ed, get­ting fluster­ed and stop­ping. He drop­ped his voice to a strain­ed whis­per and pleaded, "Not out here in the street! Some­one might hear you!"
"Oh, alright then," the mullet man relented, "I'll tell you a secret." He lean­ed down to whis­per in his boy­friend's ear, and what he whis­per­ed was of the future-naughty-sexy variety.
Shun froze and turned even redder, about to ex­plode with embarrassment.

Saiki sighed in exasperation, already get­ting a head­ache. They were alr­eady going to be late be­cause Nendō made them get ramen be­fore school as if they had time for that, Kaidō still had the mental age of an eight-year-old, and now Kuboyasu was get­ting horny at not even nine o'clock in the morning. The tele­path started walking faster.
"Oi! Saiki!" Kuboyasu shouted, get­ting angry, "Don't fuck­ing tell me you're one of those lot!" The gay couple had been keep­ing their relation­ship secret for fear of homo­phobia, as was rife in Japan, par­ticu­lar­ly with Shun's mother. To get that react­ion from Saiki, who had re­veal­ed that he was a psychic and could hear their thoughts and whis­pers a few months ago, could only mean he was a homo­phobe too.

"Saiki!!" yelled Aren, begin­ning to run to the pink guy.
"Just hurry up and get to school," the psy­chic com­mand­ed, "We're already late be­cause of Nendō, and then you decide to start talk­ing about sex and make Kaidō's brain shut down. I won't stop you being who you are, but for fuck's sake, do it on your own time!" He turned around and resumed walking, spit­ting in a drain and grumbling, "Good fucking grief."

As the four guys turned the corner onto the road their school was on, the noise only got loud­er and louder. It seem­ed that de­spite the fact every­one else was there, they were all outside. "Did some­one set the fire alarm off?" asked Shun. Kusuo tried listen­ing in to the thoughts and shouts of every­body in the school­yard to no avail. It was too loud over there—he couldn't dis­cern anything.

They walked up to the open gate, and all of a sud­den every stu­dent on campus went silent, star­ing at them like three-year-olds on the spec­trum. It was... un­nerv­ing, to say the least. Shun and Aren put their guards up and they pro­ceed­ed with caution, Nendō con­tinu­ed on­wards, not notic­ing any­thing at all, and Saiki's face flush­ed and he tensed up as he final­ly under­stood what was going on.

'You can't be serious,' thought Kusuo, shock­ed and appall­ed at the thoughts di­rect­ed at him.
'Where did all this attention come from?' Shun wondered, asking 'Why are they star­ing at you, Kusu?'

The psychic did not want to answer.

"Saiki!" a random girl called out to him, run­ning up to his side, "What I've heard, is it true? Is it true you have a mass­ive, godly, gi­norm­ous dick??"
Saiki ground his teeth, loath­ing the situ­at­ion he'd been thrust into as people start­ed to mur­mur ag­gress­ive­ly. 'What have you done?!' he ask­ed no-one in par­ticu­lar. 'I AM ASK­ING YOU. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!!' Little did he know, how­ever, that this story was in past tense, so the fourth wall was impenetrable.

Another student, a boy this time, shout­ed to them from behind, "OI! Stubby Shun! Yer five-year-old brother's dick's bigger than yours! Hah!"
"Nendō-kuuuuun!" a group of girls cheer­ed, "We want your god­ly coooo­o­o­ock!!"
"Kuboyasu, my man!" called Kongo, hav­ing been held back a year, "I hear you have a nice cock. How many birds have you shag­ged with it?"

The yard rapidly plunged into chaos. Girls and boys alike swarm­ed the four, harass­ing them all for the alleg­ed size of their dicks, one for differ­ent reasons than the other three. The flash mob pushed the four into each other in the middle of the yard so quick­ly that even Kuboyasu and Nendō couldn't man­handle their way out of it. The crowd was relent­less, shout­ing in­va­sive quest­ions at them, a mix of jea­lousy, bully­ing Kaidō, accu­sa­tions of sex crimes and in­vit­ations to shag, from girls and boys alike. Add to that the physic­al­ity of all the shov­ing in every di­rect­ion at once, and it was only a matter of time be­fore the dim­inut­ive Kaidō fell onto his wrist, sprain­ing it and get­ting drag­ged out feet first into the homo­phobic sec­tion to have his clothes rip­ped off and to get torn to shreds.

Aren just barely got his arms under Shun's shoul­ders and pull­ed him back to the middle, plac­ing him be­tween him­self, Nendō and Saiki while doing a back kick at full strength into some ass­hole's face, send­ing him fly­ing back with so much force that he took about ten people to the ground with him, whose front parts sub­se­quent­ly got abso­lute­ly trampled.

Meanwhile, Nendō was dumb­found­ed by what was going on. He want­ed to go in­side be­cause it was cold, and he'd only just eaten. It's bad for you to do tough ex­er­cise right after a meal. There­fore, Saiki had to cover for both Nendō and him­self. The con­sen­sus of the crowd was that they both had 'godly' dicks as if the size of one's penis mat­ter­ed in the slight­est, and this led to them get­ting the most at­ten­tion, from girls and boys for­get­ting their exams and want­ing sex im­medi­ate­ly, to in­se­cure jea­lous ass­holes call­ing them "incels" and try­ing to de-bag the two of them to ei­ther dis­prove it or muti­late them for "wast­ing their god-given gifts". Knives had been brought in, and tens­ions only had to esca­late about one step before some­one got stab­bed and bled to death be­cause no-one noticed.

Fists were flying every­where, and one hit Nendō square­ly in the chin. Nendō's chin look­ed like it had shaven testi­cles on it, so one of the jea­lous ass­holes thought he would stun the gor­illa by hit­ting him there, but it turns out those two 'balls' were bone, part of his lower jaw, so both of the attack­er's knuc­kles crack­ed open pain­fully, spew­ing blood every­where. The attack­er howl­ed in pain, dis­tract­ing Kusuo and allow­ing an­other jea­lous cunt to get a swing in on him.

Now, Saiki Kusuo's psychic strength was out of this world. He could flick his fin­gers and send the crowd fly­ing into the wall if he wanted, so hard they would all get crush­ed into a bloody paste on the wall while the build­ing col­laps­ed on them. As a result, he couldn't real­ly do any­thing to visibly hit back at the crowd. If he did, they would all know right away that he was a psy­chic and he might acci­dent­al­ly kill them all in one fell swoop. As some­one who want­ed a normal life, that was the last thing he wanted.

The punch from the attack­er con­nect­ed with Kusuo's temple. It didn't affect Kusuo him­self but it broke his glasses, and dis­as­ter struck. As they fell off, Kusuo's eyes be­came un­cover­ed and as he turn­ed to the attack­er to block his next punch, about twenty-five people turn­ed to stone in an instant, in­clud­ing the culprit. The force from every­one still push­ing be­hind them knock­ed all the statues over, each of them los­ing body parts when they hit the ground, some of them shat­ter­ing into pieces as the people be­hind them toppl­ed over, also turn­ing into stone and crush­ing those stu­pid enough to be at the front.

The loud crunch­ing noises sent a shock through the heart of every­one there. 'What just happened?!' wonder­ed all the non-petri­fi­ed people. Kusuo, still turn­ing people into stone in the crowd, final­ly reg­is­ter­ed what had just hap­pen­ed and closed his eyes tight, reach­ing into his blazer pocket and ap­port­ing his value­less spare glass­es into his hand. He swift­ly put them on, deliber­at­ing on what to do next.

The crowd went fully silent, stand­ing stock still, rigid in fear and con­fusion. About thirty people had turn­ed to stone and shat­ter­ed into pieces before their very eyes.

They were all dead.

The chill of the wind got worse, mak­ing every­one feel as cold as the rubble on the floor.

Everyone was staring at Saiki, whose fists were clench­ed and he was shaking. His friends look­ed on in fear, recog­nis­ing that the pink guy had acci­dent­al­ly out­ed him­self and every­thing was gonna go tits up.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL??!" shriek­ed a hys­teric­al girl, petrifi­ed not literal­ly but figur­ative­ly by the petri­fi­ca­tion. Her voice cascad­ed around the yard, strik­ing up mur­murs of fear and dis­con­tent among the crowd. "SAIKI'S A-!!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?!!" Saiki bellow­ed at the top of his voice, reach­ing ap­pro­xi­mate­ly 100 Decibels. His question, deliver­ed in a state of un­adul­ter­at­ed rage, echo­ed around the sur­round­ing area, deal­ing hear­ing damage to seve­ral students, especial­ly the ones clos­est to him, who start­ed back­ing off and giv­ing the group space. None of them could respond, too morti­fi­ed to speak.

One boy, however, could.

"Guys! Guys!" he called, "You've been-" he dis­ap­pear­ed into the crowd, try­ing to make his way to the centre, "You've been put into a tier list..." he grunt­ed as he forced his way past some more people to the front, reveal­ing him­self to be Satō Hiroshi, "A tier list rank­ing you all by dick size."
He looked down to the rubble and his eyes went twice as wide. "Oh my god..." he wheezed.

The three tall guys on that list slow­ly turn­ed to Satō, faces con­tort­ed in an abso­lute­ly disgust­ed way, iden­ti­cal in manner to Saiki's Annoy­ed Face™.

"Saiki!" a girl called, "Can I ride-?!
"SHUT THE FUCK UP BE­FORE I KILL ALL OF YOU!!!" Saiki screamed, abso­lute­ly livid at learn­ing this inform­ation. He made sure to trig­ger a light­ning strike on the point­less plas­tic an­tenna at the top of the build­ing to empha­sise his point. It caught fire and began rapid­ly melting as the electrics in the school got over­loaded. The thunder re­ver­be­rat­ed at a deafen­ing volume through­out the town for rough­ly thirty seconds.

The crowd started to whis­per among­st them­selves. Who the hell was Saiki? Since when could he turn people into stone and sum­mon light­ning strikes??! Also, wasn't that Satō guy on the list him­self? Why? Saiki was still glar­ing at the girl who asked, and of course she found that at­tract­ive for some reason. This had to be some sort of maniac­ally fuck­ed up joke. There's no way it was real, he thought, but he read Satō's mind and saw that it was. Some­one had actual­ly rank­ed him and his friends by dick size, and every­one had seen it.

How was he going to fix this???

Chapter Text

A whistle blew by the entrance, followed by shouting from members of staff. "Get back inside! You're late for your exams!" Principal Kanda shouted, while Hata­ke­yama waded through the mob doing Judo chops on the backs of students' necks to knock them out with a 'ton' sound effect. Other teachers were also among the ranks, with Matsu­zaki bark­ing orders at students to get inside or they would be dis­quali­fi­ed from their exams. This army of teach­ers cut through the mob to get to Saiki and his friends and dis­perse every­one, sub­se­quent­ly scar­ing them even more with the fear of being recog­nise­d there and get­ting pun­ish­ed for their involve­ment. The crowd began to scat­ter towards the en­trances, Hairo help­ing the staff guide everyone in.

"What on Earth happen­ed here??" asked the princi­pal upon seeing the rubble.
"Accident," Saiki answered, brain­wash­ing the bald­ing gentle­man to not quest­ion the sight. "Why is every­one hara­ss­ing us over our dicks?" he asked while dis­creet­ly heal­ing Kaidō's wrist. Kaidō was still hid­ing in­between the other two, so it was easy to hide.
Some complete munter­ shouted­ a trans­phob­ic slur about Teru­hashi, only to get gagg­ed and knock­ed out by the Kokomins, who carrie­d her away for 'question­ing' (rape).
Matsuzaki shout­ed "GET TO CLASS NOW!!!" at the remain­ing crowd before lower­ing his voice and inform­ing the five of them, "Some­one out­side the school has for some reason post­ed one of those 'tier lists' on the inter­net rank­ing seve­ral stu­dents, a few teacher­s, parents and children by alleg­ed size."

Saiki and Kaidō's eyes widened in shock and horror. Kuboyasu took a deep breath to con­trol his anger, and Nendō just stared off into space. Satō, mean­while, con­fus­ed as to why he was be­ing add­ressed­, asked, "Does that include me?"
"Yes, and there­fore you must come with us," answered Kanda, "This list in­clud­es stu­dents from all over the place, Kaidō-kun's brother, Nendō-kun's parents, Saiki-kun's parents and grand­father, and two of our teach­ers."
"What? But me mum's a girl!" Nendō protested.
"My brother's on there?!!" Kaidō screamed in terror.
"And so therefore," the Principal con­tinued, "We could not make a guess as to who was re­spons­ible for this ab­omi­na­ble creat­ion."
'Just say abomi­na­tion,' Kusuo com­plaine­d to himself.

"This has caused a right scene," Mr. Igarashi grumbl­ed, having sent some more people inside.
"Yes, and there­fore we must es­cort you five inside to dis­cuss this horr­ible event," said Kanda, usher­ing the students to follow him.
"Hang on, wait a minute," said Satō ner­vous­ly, "I didn't do it, sir. I don't even talk to these people!"
"Well, you're in the post," explained Matsuzaki, "so we've got to keep you in­volved­ so we don't miss any­one. You're gonna have to list all the people you can think might do this."
'Good grief,' Kusuo lamented, set­ting off with the group.

"Is everyone alright?" asked Hairo, "Any injuries?"
"No. Everyone's fine," Kuboyasu answered. "We're a bit shaken up though..."
"We've allocated a room to dis­cuss this in," Hairo explained quickly, ignor­ing the debris, "You'll see who's on the list. Most of them are in there including Aiura-san and Toritsuka-kun, so you'll be able to find who did this."
"Hairo-kun, I appreci­ate your enthu­si­asm at a time like this," said Matsuzaki, "but this mat­ter will have to be dealt with by the school and the police."
"But Sa-"
"Just stop talk­ing until we get there," Saiki com­manded­, and every­one shut up.

As the students were taken inside, the teacher­s quick­ly saw that the shoe box room was over­flow­ing, not design­ed to con­tain the entire school at any given time. "Oh bugger," re­mark­ed Igarashi, "We'll have to use another entrance." He and Ms. Shima went to try and dis­pel the chaos in there as Hairo direct­ed them another way.

On the agonis­ing long jour­ney to the other ent­rance, many hecklers who didn't have exams that hour call­ed at those four who sum­mon­ed the crowd. They ignor­ed Hairo because they respecte­d him, and they ignor­ed Satō because they didn't know who he was.

"Do you enjoy cock in yer arse, Kaidō?!" ex­claimed­ one boy, who was drag­ged kick­ing and scream­ing into the air be­fore being drop­ped into a tree.

"Think you're the hot shit, Nendō, ya fuck­ing retard­ed monkey!!?" shout­ed another one, "Stay the fuck away from my girl­friend!!"

"They should rename this place Left Wank Town, you fucking perverts!!" scream­ed an of­fend­ed girl with squinty eyes and an overbite.

"Yer little brother's more manly than you~!" calle­d a petu­lant first year to Kaidō.
"My value as a human doesn't come from the length of my dong, you FUCKING CUNT!!!" Kaidō scream­ed at him.
"GET A LIFE, RETARD!!" Kuboyasu added, utter­ly livid at this jab at his boy­friend.
The retarded child­ren from all years all around went "Ooooooooo!" in union, thorough­ly amused by this, be­fore Saiki slam­med them all with so much wind they all went fly­ing.
"Leave it, Kaidō," Matsuzaki request­ed quietly.
"Oh, so I made it then?!" Kaidō pro­teste­d, offend­ed that he was some­how the one in trouble. "How is this MY fault!!?"
"We're not saying it's your fault," Hata­ke­yama in­forme­d him calm­ly, "Just don't ac­know­ledge them. You're en­cour­ag­ing this awful behav­iour."

"Tell Toritsuka he's wanked too highly! Ha!!" some­one else jested by the wall, before col­laps­ing from his in­jur­ies.
'He'll be fine,' thought Saiki.

The horror con­tinu­ed as they got inside, in­sults being hurl­ed around like old-school rot­ten veg. The teachers had to push through the crowd of stu­dents in the corri­dor as the class­room they chose was real­ly far from any entr­ance. It felt like it took two hours to get there, but they finally did. Hairo slid the door open and an­nounced­, "Everyone, Saiki's here!"
Saiki ambled his way through the door only to im­medi­ate­ly get hit, almost knock­ed over, by a speed­ing blue girl, glow­ing gold like she came straight from the heavens. "Kusuo, you're here!!" She kissed his cheek about ten times before break­ing down sob­bing into his should­er, "You're final­ly here...!"

"Yes, I'm here. Now, what's happened?" Kusuo asked her while Satō's mind was being blown by the rev­ela­tion that such an unr­emark­able guy was dating Teruhashi fuck­ing Kokomi, and the other four students and the teachers moved into the room. The last one in, the prin­ci­pal clos­ed the door behind him.
Kokomi looked up to Kusuo and blub­bered, "They put me in the 'Godly' tier..." and that was all she could say be­fore she re­sum­ed ugly-crying into her boy­friend's uni­form.

For the second time that day, Kusuo's face con­tort­ed into an actual ex­press­ion. One eye­brow went up, his eyes went wide and he frown­ed in an utter­ly gob­smack­ed fashion. "What?" he asked, "On the list??" Kokomi nod­ded, still pressed­ into his rapid­ly satu­rat­ing clothes.
"It's a right shamble, init?" remark­ed Rifuta, the second-most-beauti­ful girl in school, who had given up being Teruhashi's rival and be­come a proper friend like Yumehara, who was nerv­ous­ly bit­ing her nail. The two of them must've wit­nesse­d a lot more emotion­al an­guish than this for all the time they'd been there.

Kusuo look­ed around the room. The pro­ject­or was on, and pretty much every­one he knew was in there. Kuboyasu and Kaidō were hug­ging in the front corner oppo­site the door, Yumehara was sat at the desks next to Mera and her ex Shinoda, look­ing at them jeal­ous­ly, two random girls were sat at other desks behind them, Saiko was at the very back of the room try­ing his best to console a deva­st­ated­ Taka­hashi who was wail­ing that he'd been ranked as 'tiny,' Toritsuka and the jour­nal­ists from the Fake News Club were get­ting grill­ed by Aiura near the wind­ows, in­sist­ing they didn't do it, Nendō was hover­ing around, Akechi was jitt­ering like crazy by the wall ad­ja­cent to the door, and Satō and Suzumiya had a nice hug just fur­ther along. At the front, Mr. Iguchi gather­ed together the other staff to de­brief them and show them the rank­ings. He used his phone be­cause the com­put­er had turn­ed off dur­ing the light­ning strike—​Matsu­zaki was try­ing to re­boot it. The teach­ers all react­ed in disgust, especial­ly at the fact there were child­ren on the list.

'WHAT?! Yūta's on the list!!!?' Kusuo no­tic­ed, absolute­ly fuming. He had to put a stop to this before it began by re­wind­ing time, but he didn't have the chance yet to team up with Aiura (and poss­ib­ly Toritsuka) to find the culprit and severe­ly pun­ish them.

"May I have your attent­ion please?" Mr. Iguchi called. The room went silent rather quick­ly, save for Takahashi's whing­ing. "Some of you already know this, and some of you may have seen it, but for those who are un­aware of what has happene­d, let me fill you in." He pressed­ a button on a small remote, which made the pro­ject­or dis­play an image. A few people around the room gasp­ed in dis­gust at what they saw: images of them, ranke­d in tiers based on alleged penis size. Not only were there three or four childr­en on there, some of their parents were (including Nendō's dead dad,) two teachers were on there, there was a girl who'd been dead for over ten years, there was a cat and a hamster, and Teruhashi was in the 'godly' tier at the top.

"As you can see, this is... revolt­ing," Iguchi snapped, "This in­fernal image started spread­ing like wild­fire late last night, and not only does it feat­ure every­body in this room," he starte­d sweat­ing with rage, spew­ing vit­riol with his words, "but it also in­cludes actual child­ren."
"What the fuck?!! Why's my sister on there too!?!!" Kaidō exclaimed.

"Stop shouting," the principal com­manded.

"In case any of you weren't aware, this is online sexual harass­ment," Mr. Matsu­zaki in­form­ed the students, "and it's punish­able by prison sen­tence­s and ex­orbi­tant fines. We've had to call the police so they can deal with this, and what­ever hap­pen­ed outside," he look­ed at Saiki accusa­tively, high­ly suspic­ious.
"I think it was Toritsuka," said Aiko the tennis girl, who Saiki thought would never speak.
"Pfft, no way, gurl," the sassy Aiura counter­ed, "If Pa­reita­site had made it he woulda put him­self in the 'godly' tier to try and pull birds, which he can't."
Kokomi choked on a sob at the word 'godly.'

"I'm surprised he hasn't whip­ped his dick out to prove his is the bigg­est or some shit," said Makino from the Occult Club, which Kusuo kept forget­ting still existed.
"I'll have you know with all the men in here it's dif­fi­cult to get a rise out of me right now," Reita chimed in, "I always try and get con­sent anyway," he added, to which all the girls laughed.
"I've found the homophobe, Aren," Kusuo joked.
"Noooo!" Reita complained.
"D'you wanna fucking go?!" Aren taunted, strid­ing up to mock­ing­ly square up to the known per­vert to blow off some steam.

"'Get consent.' Do you bollocks!" Aiko spat, "You just flirt ag­gress­ive­ly with every­one and call us ugly when we turn you down."
"I stopped doing that!" the perverte­d prime sus­pect pro­test­ed, "I'd only be sa­tis­fied with Miko-chan anyway."
"Oh! You're going out with Aiura, Reita-kun?" Suzumiya called from across the room.
"Hell yeah, bitch!" he answered, full of himself.

"Shut up and pay attention!" shouted Hata­ke­yama, very irritat­ed with all the chaos.

Everyone went silent again.

"Yes. Now, due to the lack of corr­ela­tion for some of the people in this list, we haven't been able to narrow down the sus­pects yet," explained Principal Kanda. "Therefore, the po­lice will have to get in­volv­ed and this inv­esti­ga­tion will take some time. There­fore, you are not to leave this room until they arrive. Do you unders­tand?"

The room esca­lat­ed into people shout­ing prot­ests that they didn't do it, which made Kokomi start to hyper­vent­ilate. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?!" Kanda shout­ed at the top of his voice, pushe­d past his break­ing point.
"Yes, sir," everyone responded in uni­son, not want­ing any more of this.
"Thank you. Now, this has caused absolute chaos, and there­fore we must go and re­store order out there so the police can get to this room. What hap­pens be­yond this point is up to them, and it may take weeks if not months, hold­ing all of you back from gradu­ating. There­fore, if any of you are the culprit, it is in your best inter­est to speak up now."

Nobody said a word. Nobody even made a sound. Any indi­cat­ion of know­ledge would lead to the police re­lent­less­ly in­ter­rog­at­ing them to try and force them to con­fess, just so it would be over. Nobody want­ed that. Nobody had done it. Kusuo had read the minds of every­one in the room to check if they made that dis­gust­ing trash post, and none of them did. He di­vulg­ed this inform­ation to every­one in there who knew his secret. They were all dis­pleas­ed by this, but their faces showe­d no sign of tele­path­ic conv­ers­ation.

When the room was argu­ing earli­er over Toritsuka's in­volve­ment, Kokomi told Kusuo what had hap­pen­ed to her when she got there, and it made his fuck­ing blood boil. She got spott­ed im­media­te­ly and was sur­rounde­d by com­plete and utter perverts of both gend­ers and every­where in­between who had seen that she was in the 'godly' tier and want­ed her to prove it one way or another by flashing them. Kusuo knew he had to make the cul­prit suffer. At least twenty people were dead be­cause of this, but Kokomi being humi­li­ated like that? That was the last straw.

The principal sighe­d and grumbl­ed under his breath, "These fuck­ing teena­gers are be­yond hope." He left without an­other word, the other teacher­s follow­ing him per Saiki's un­notice­able command.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Kusuo magic­ally welde­d the slid­ing door shut and spoke, "Ψkickers. I need your help."
"You got it, babes," Aiura re­plied, "Reita, get me my crystal ball."
"On it, m'lady," he answer­ed, walk­ing to a desk and getting Aiura's bag. The room sprung back into life, every­one specu­lat­ing as to what was going to happen, what the police would do, and who made such a thing. What they didn't quest­ion was why they were un­super­vised.

"Kusuo-kun!" Akechi shouted as he join­ed his team­mates at the front of the room, un­able to con­tain him­self any­more, "This is quite a co­nund­rum we've found our­selves in, isn't it? I sus­pect you alr­eady have a plan to find the cul­prit, deal with him, and rev­erse the chaos this has caused around school, though the fact that Mr. Matsu­zaki saw some­thing happen out­side leads me to believe there is a nece­ssity to re­wind the day. I saw that you found the image dis­gust­ing, par­ticu­lar­ly the in­clu­sion of three children, though I'm con­fuse­d as to why that abso­lute cock­ing twat­ting maniac­al stuck-up bully Takashi from in­fant school, the illusion­ist Chōno Uryoku, his assistant Michael, Cyborg Cider-Man № 2 (also known as Cyborg Soda-Man Mark II and other synonyms,) a cat and a hamster are on the list. If I could hazard a guess at your plan, it is for Aiura-san to use her Clair­voy­ance and for Tori­tsuka-kun to talk to the ghosts to ac­cu­mu­late as many clues as possible to find the cul­prit, though it may take so long that the police have track­ed down who sent the ori­gin­al post already."

"Already on it!" Toritsuka reported.
"Dude, slow down," Kaidō complained, going dizzy from the speed-talking, Kuboyasu holding him steady.
"Those... sure were words..." Rifuta re­mark­ed, try­ing to stay conscious.

"Another possibil­ity is that you will use your new Techno­pathy ability you told me about the other day to find the IP address yourself and triangu­late the per­pe­tra­tor's loc­at­ion with the clues the other Ψ­kickers get so you can visual­ise where you need to go, re­wind time and prevent this inf­er­nal post from being created. I suspect that Teruhashi-chan has already told you what hap­pen­ed to her this morn­ing so I won't em­bar­rass her by re­count­ing it in front of every­one. By the way, I'd like to di­gress and rant about how dis­gust­ing the effect is that the inter­net has had on the way people talk and think about sex. It has result­ed in a ve­rit­able shit-tonne of re­la­tion­ships going down the figur­at­ive toilet as they form around sex first and love second, which leads to the people in those re­la­tion­ships see­ing each other as mere ins­tru­ments of sex­ual plea­sure, and yada yada yada yada yada..."

"That's the gist of it," said Saiki plainly, rub­bing Teruhashi's arm to com­fort her while Akechi con­tinue­d rambl­ing on, "Unfortun­ate­ly I can't get the IP address from the post itself be­cause that's just a screen­shot."
"What are you gonna do then??" asked Yumehara, who'd been talking to Makino and Aiko (whose surname was ap­par­ent­ly Mikami) to pre­vent them hear­ing Akechi re­veal Saiki's powers. The brains of the 'jour­nal­ists' by the windows had under­gone ex­plos­ive over­loads and ceased to func­tion when Akechi start­ed talk­ing so they weren't of issue, Takeru had got his phone out and wasn't listen­ing, and Taka­hashi was still cry­ing to Saiko about the idea that his knob was tiny.

Kaidō and Kuboyasu echoed the same question to Saiki while Nendō just stared into space. Saiki had to decide how he would find the culprit, and it didn't take long to come up with a solution.

It was time for action.

Chapter Text

"Alright. Here's what we're gonna do," said Saiki, call­ing the room's atten­tion to him. "Toritsuka and Aiura can use their abili­ties to narrow down the origin of this horrible post, which will re­veal the locat­ion it was sent from. The ghosts can spy on every­one in school to see if they did it, and Aiura can find the per­pe­trator's house so I can tele­port there and pre­vent this happening."
"Prevent it?" asked Rifuta, "The damage has al­ready been done. I mean, look at Kokomi!"
"I've sent the ghosts out to search the school," Toritsuka in­form­ed Saiki, paus­ing to think for a second and asking, "Are you gonna do what I think you're gonna do?"
Saiki, knowing exact­ly what the medi­um thought at all times, nod­ded yes and said, "That's why I'm not bother­ed with talk­ing about this in front of people who don't al­ready know what I can do."

Jōten and Kameima from the Fake News Club were begin­ning to re­cover from the assault on their brains by the hand of Akechi, so their heads turn­ed slight­ly to listen in on the convers­ation, but this was of no con­cern. The events of the day were going to be erased.

"Aibō's just... talking about the things he can do, in front of people," Nendō point­ed out, confused. He looked at the three randos in the mid­dle of the room and the other people who didn't al­ready know this mass­ive secret. Nendō might've been dumb, but he knew how im­por­tant secrets were.
"Yeah, I don't get it," Shun agreed, "Why are you so non­cha­lant about this, Kusu?"

Kusuo tried to turn to Shun as best he could with Kokomi still in his arms, and he ex­plain­ed, "None of this is gonna matter. None of this chaos will happen, and no­body will know what didn't happen."
"You're not!" Yumehara butted in, having clock­ed what the psy­chic was implying.

"Oh shit! Wait a minute!" Toritsuka in­ter­rupted, "I think I've got a lead!"
Everyone looked at him as he con­tinu­ed whis­per­ing to the ghosts. Saiki pick­ed up all the inform­ation and relay­ed it to Aiura as it came.

"OK. The ghosts are 99% sure it's an out­sider from be­yond the fourth wall."
Everyone gasped in shock and con­fusion. What was the fourth wall?
"And he's a pædo­phile," Reita added, face pal­ing in disgust. Every­one react­ed ac­cord­ingly.
"Eww. That's fuck­ing dis­gust­ing," said Aiura, before mak­ing a mock vomit­ing sound.
"Find his house," Saiki com­mand­ed. "We don't have any time to lose."
"Says you who can rewind it, but whatevz," Aiura quip­ped be­fore start­ing one of her in­explic­able divin­ation rituals with the help of Yume­hara and Makino.
'Is it one of our brothers?' Kokomi ψ­lent­ly asked Kusuo.
"Surprisingly no," he answer­ed into her mind.

There was a substan­tial pause as the Ψ­kickers did their thing, before Kokomi pull­ed her head out of Kusuo's chest, look­ing at him with wide, plead­ing eyes and asked him, 'Do you really have to rewind time...?'
Kusuo frowned sadly and answer­ed, "Yes. There's been too much damage done. Mind Con­trol can't erase the rank­ings and I acci­dent­al­ly turn­ed about thirty people into stone in the flash mob this morning."
Kokomi gasped, mouth wide open, and thought, 'Oh my god... That's horrible!' Kusuo nod­ded in agree­ment. She tilt­ed her head and tried a re­assur­ing smile, thinking 'I'm sure you din't mean it.♥︎'
Kusuo smiled at her, reply­ing "Thank you. What hap­pen­ed was some­one punch­ed me in the temple and broke my glasses."
'Your X-ray block­ing glasses are broken?' she asked, 'So you won't be able to see me anymore?'
"I'm afraid not," Kusuo answered. "They should come back when I undo today though."

"This is so romantic!" Yumehara whisper-exclaim­ed, try­ing not to be too loud. Rifuta and Makino echo­ed simi­lar sentiments.
Kokomi's face went red and she buri­ed it in Kusuo's chest out of em­bar­rass­ment. Shinoda and the others who weren't in the know look­ed on in confusion.

"Uhhh, Houston? We have a problem..." Aiura called, break­ing the K's out of their stupor. "The nonce who did this hasn't been at his house in days."
"Good grief- of course he hasn't!" Saiki sighed, pinch­ing the bridge of his nose. "Can you gene­rate a pic­ture of his face?"
"What, can't you?" asked Kuboyasu.
"Takes too long and I don't al­ready know what he looks like," the psy­chic answered, beckon­ing Akechi to ex­plain Thought­o­graphy to the tall guy, but slowly.
"We're gonna have to use the other method," said Toritsuka. "We have a name, but not a face or a location."
"Good grief," Saiki grumbled, clear­ing his throat (despite using Tele­pathy) and call­ing to the class, "Has anyone here seen the original post, and can you access it now?"

Everyone got to think­ing about how they saw it. Most hadn't, and those who had seem­ed to have only seen a screen­shot. When every­body had con­firm­ed this they turn­ed to the psychic, shrug­ging and shak­ing their heads.

The room went silent again, an air of defeat setting in.

Then Kameima said, "I can."
"You can?!" Saiki exclaimed, as every­one look­ed at the photo­grapher.
"Yes," he reiterated, getting his phone to pull up the link.
"Of course you can," Kokomi spat at him, the stalk­ing he did lin­ger­ing in her mind.

"Give it here, now," the psychic com­mand­ed, and when a psy­chic gives you an order you follow it or face dire con­se­quen­ces. As soon as Kame­ima un­lock­ed his phone and open­ed the browser, it flew out of his hands and into Saiki's, scar­ing the shit out of every­one who'd never seen that before. Kusuo used Tech­no­pathy to sift through browser his­tory and open the link. It was on a forum full of de­ranged psycho­paths who did very con­cern­ing things like write posts about set­ting women on fire, and of course share child porn.

"How the fuck did he do that?!" the photo­grapher asked.
"So, Kusuo!" said Aiura, "How're you gonna find the pædo with that?"
"Well, this is where my new ability comes in." He look­ed at Kaidō and said, "Play that funky music!"
"On it, Kusu," answered Shun, press­ing play on his phone and turn­ing it up. A funky guitar riff run through a wah pedal began to play, every­one re­cog­nis­ing it from the very show they had been in the whole time, not sound­ing like a cat drown­ing in a wash­ing machine.

"This new power of mine: Techno­pathy," Saiki began, "It's the abil­ity to com­muni­cate with and dir­ect­ly con­trol com­put­ers and tech­no­logy. This can be as simple as simu­lat­ing in­puts a human could make, to by­pass­ing inter­faces to speed things up, to mess­ing around with regis­ters at the hard­ware level and follow­ing data around the system. That is what I will be do­ing today. Every com­put­er has an IP ad­dress and a MAC ad­dress, both of which are used to estab­lish con­nect­ions on the World Wide Web. If I can get either of these, I can iden­ti­fy the com­puter that this post was sent from, but since I can't tele­port to a locat­ion I haven't seen, I will have to have Aiura gene­rate an image of the in­side of the build­ing it's in."
"Wow! You think I can do that?" asked Aiura.
"Yes. Finding things is your special­ity," Saiki replied.

"What about encryption? It's on the dark web!" Kame­ima inter­jected, follow­ed by worri­ed mur­murs from people who thought that wouldn't work, par­ticu­lar­ly those know­ledge­able in computers.
"That is of no concern," the psychic answer­ed, "I can by­pass all that by simply trac­ing the data stream from here to the server, break into that and learn the ad­dress­es from there. If that fails I can trace the physic­al data stream, be­cause cook­ies on the inter­net stalk every­thing you do so much the server is prob­ably col­lect­ing data from that client as we speak, especial­ly since this appears to genu­ine­ly be the dark web. All I have to do then is turn in­vis­ible, rewind time to when the post was made, follow the cul­prit to where he lives now, go back in time again and stop him from creat­ing that post."

"Well, get to it then! We ain't got much time," said Aiura, brim­ming with con­fid­ence. Akechi gave Saiki a round of ap­plause for that monologue.

Kusuo reloaded the page and traced its con­nect­ion to the server, locat­ing it in an instant. Next, he com­mand­ed the phone to by­pass all its OS checks to act as a di­rect ter­mi­nal to the server, its con­tents flying through his head at hun­dreds of mega­bits per second. It didn't take more than fif­teen seconds for Kusuo to find the post in there, with all its rele­vant sup­ple­ment­al data easy to access, encrypt­ion not­withstand­ing. The IP ad­dress and MAC ad­dress were right there with every­thing else gather­ed about that computer. It appear­ed that the nonce they were look­ing for kept using the same ter­mi­nal and he'd made various other in­ex­plic­ably fuck­ed up posts on there.

"Aiura," Saiki beckoned flatly. He appear­ed to bite the edge of his palm, tear­ing off a trans­parent glove before hold­ing up his hand towards her. "Give us your hand."
"Sorry, what?" asked Imu and Chiyo, think­ing he was gonna betray Kokomi's heart.
"Uh, sure, but why?" the sooth­sayer asked, hold­ing her hand up with its needless­ly pointy nails. Everyone turned­ to Saiki, mildly sus­pici­ous.
"I'm gonna pass you this data so you can form an image of the locat­ion we need."
"How do you know that's gonna work?" asked Hairo.
"Yeah," Aiura echoed, "I appreciate the confidence, but-"
"Just do it before the server detects me," Saiki com­manded, "I only have so much mental capacity."

"Okay, fine then," said Aiura, who grab­bed Saiki's hand. Once she did, the IP and MAC address­es of the com­put­er and the router in the inter­net café appear­ed in her mind. "Whoa! What do I do with this??" she asked.
"Use those to form an image of the com­puter room. You know how; I don't."
"Okay... let's try..." she said with tre­pid­ation, before activ­ating her powers.

To try and describe the synap­tic firings, inform­ation and images that flew through Aiura's head as she search­ed for the com­put­er and tried to form an image of the room for Saiki to teleport... would be impossible. Even Saiki found it rather dif­fi­cult to under­stand. Not hav­ing these powers, he had no idea how to tell how close Aiura was to find­ing their target, so they just stood there for about a minute searching.

"What... are we looking at...?" asked Jōten, point­ing at Aiura and Saiki, hav­ing recovered from her stroke. She was too busy reel­ing from be­ing on the list to get Kame­ima to take a photo of this weird scene, Saiki hold­ing his girl­friend in one arm while hold­ing an­other girl's hand in his other, and to then write up a story about Saiki cheat­ing on Teruhashi. The school had already gone wild over the image that had put them all in that room—even Jōten Manako of the News­paper Club knew that two shocks of that mag­ni­tude would elicit a react­ion too much for the school and the au­thori­ties to handle.

"Ah!" exclaimed Akechi, ready to yap again, "What's going on here is-"
"NO!! NOT YOU!!!" Jōten screamed, she and Kame­ima both cover­ing their ears. Every­one in the room jumped. "Please. Someone else answer."
"They're searching for the comput­er that post was sent from," Toritsuka explained.
"And... how exactly are they doing that?" asked Mikami, who never thought she would talk to this purple-haired over-achiever ever again.
"Secret," was all he said.

"Got 'em," Aiura announced, project­ing the image as strong­ly as she could into Saiki's mind.
Saiki's eyes crossed, activat­ing his version of Clair­voyance, and he found the locat­ion to be real. It appear­ed exact­ly the same as the image the gyaru had created. It was a really old-school inter­net café, lines of com­put­ers near­ing the end of their OS sup­port window, in a decrepit-as-fuck build­ing with hor­rid yellow walls and lights, blinds fall­ing off, stains on the carpet, col­laps­ed chairs, closing down soon.

"Excellent," he said, uncross­ing his eyes and let­ting go of Aiura's hand. "Now I shall go back in time, find the pædo­phile who did it and kill the bas­tard before today."
"Babes, it's in a 'net café," the gyaru objected, "How will you know which one he used?"
"Psychometry. I'll touch each key­board to find it."
"Make sure you wash your hands after that," Nendō re­com­mend­ed. Whether or not he was jok­ing was anyone's guess.
"Did I just hear Nendō fuck­ing Riki of all people tell us to wash our hands?" Shinoda asked, sur­prised and kind of of­fended, in equal parts due to that and the fact that it took this long for him to have a speaking line.

"Well then, I guess it's time for me to turn in­visible," said the psychic, start­ing the process. "Thank you for all of your help, Aiura, Toritsuka."
"Any time, my man," said the gyaru, offering a fist bump, which Saiki return­ed as weakly as he could so he didn't send her through the window.
"Saiki thanked me too???" Toritsuka wailed, eyes posi­tive­ly stream­ing with tears of joy. Thanks from Saiki were things he never got.
"You were genuinely helpful in find­ing a name for the culprit," Saiki told him, "So thank you. Your powers actual­ly came in handy this time."

"Did you say you were gonna turn invisible?" asked Mera, also get­ting a speak­ing line in this story.
"Yes, but it takes a minute," answer­ed Saiki, look­ing at his hand. "See, I'm a bit trans­lucent now."
Yumehara screamed suddenly, startl­ing Rifuta and the other girls at the front. Suzumiya fell over at the side of the room, narrow­ly avoid­ing split­ting her head open on a desk.
"What was that for?!" Rifuta shouted at her, not a fan of sudden jolts.
"K-Kokomi's turning invisible too!!!" the orange one cried, fran­tic­ally point­ing her fin­ger at the K's who were, in fact, both turn­ing invisible.

"Oh," said Saiki. "Oops."
Teruhashi bit her lip and thought 'We can make out be­fore you leave and no-one'll see us~'
Kusuo blinked in surprise, looking at her. The girls in front of him gig­gl­ed at his expense, except Aiko and Arisu who didn't know about Tele­pathy. Those who did, though, knew exact­ly what had just happened.
"Wait- Kusu??" asked Kaidō, trying not to panic, "What'll happen to us- these... versions of us... when you rewind time?" The two dark-haired girls look­ed at him in horror, mouth­ing the words 'rewind time' to them­selves. The other people who heard that start­ed to murmur, alarm­ed at the idea of dis­ap­pearing from the space-time continuum.
Saiki sighed and tried to gently dis­miss it by saying, "It's better not to think about it, Shun. I'll be gone soon anyway. Too much damage has been done."
"Aibō's see-through!" Nendō exclaimed.
"Your power is second only to your com­mit­ment to your friends, Saiki!" Hairo declared, giving a thumbs up.

"Will we ever know what happened? Or... didn't... happen...?" asked Mera, scared of the impli­cations of Time Leap.
"Well, I'll probably tell all of you at some point," Saiki answered, he and his girl­friend almost com­plete­ly invisible.
"You, Kusuo," ordered Kokomi, point­ing a finger at his chest and look­ing him dead in the eye, "will tell me what you've erased the minute we're back to normal. You hear me?"
Kusuo gave a singular laugh, play­ful­ly roll­ing his eyes then look­ing at her. "Of course I will. I'll never keep any­thing from you."

"I... I- wha- what is..." stammer­ed Jōten, mouth prac­tic­al­ly hit­ting the floor, abso­lute­ly stu­pe­fi­ed by the two dis­ap­pear­ing people, who were almost in­vis­ible by now.
"What the fuck is happening???" asked Makino, lift­ing her fringe and rub­bing her eyes to try and make them reappear.

"Oh, there's that," Kusuo's voice said, coming from where he was just stand­ing a minute ago. "I guess they'll never know..."
"Welp," declared Aren, "Guess now's as good a time as any," and then he pull­ed Shun towards him and kiss­ed him full on the lips. It didn't matter who saw them; this would be re­wound. It took Shun by surprise, but he quick­ly shut his eyes and kiss­ed Aren back.
"Can I have a good­bye kiss too?" Kokomi asked Kusuo.
"Wellll..."
"Please­please­please­please­pleeeaaase, Kusuo!!" she begged.
"Hah, if you insist~♥︎" Kusuo laughed, and they were both heard hum­ming, very obvious­ly bring­ing their lips together and savour­ing the feel­ing of each other.

"Oh, uhhh..." said Hiroshi at the back of the room, hold­ing Hii close so she didn't fall over again, "They're just going at it, huh?"
"I think they said something about re­wind­ing time(?)" Hii point­ed out, biting her lip... She bash­ful­ly looke­d at her boy­friend and whis­per­ed "Shall we?♥︎"
"Of course," said Hiroshi, and he placed a hand on her face and gently pull­ed them to­ge­ther, lips meet­ing in the middle as their eyes closed. They pro­ceed­ed to make out peace­ful­ly by the wall in the class­room where they'd been for the past few minutes.

Takahashi looked up at Saiko, and Saiko said "Don't."
Takahashi started cry­ing again.

Chiyo was watching this unfold with Shun and Aren when Imu sidl­ed up to her. She put an arm on the ginger one's shoul­der and said quietly with half-open eyes, "Hey, hottie~ Wanna make out while we can?"
Chiyo spun her head to Imu, wide-eyed, and said "Ōhu! R-really??"
"Hell yeah. We got nothin' to lose, and I al­ways thought you were cute," Bishōjo #2 whis­per­ed in an un­expect­ed­ly hot way.
"Oh, you sexy beast! Get over here~!" said Chiyo, clos­ing her eyes and pull­ing them both together.

"What is going on?" asked Jōten, absolute­ly baffl­ed still.
"I don't know, but I... kind of like it," answer­ed Kameima, "This is... strange­ly whole­some. Or whole­some­ly strange. I don't really know."

Kokomi's voice was then heard mak­ing an obvi­ous, af­fect­ion­ate, smoochy "Mwah!♥︎" sound which stop­ped the others making out.
"Goodbye, everyone," said the invisible Kusuo, "It's been... fun, actually."
Kokomi faded into existence, step­ping back from where Kusuo once was as the girls behind her who did not know of his powers final­ly fainted.
"Oh no!" exclaimed Hairo, "Girls! Are you okay?! Wake up!!"

"You're the coolest, Kusu!" exclaimed Shun, pump­ing his fist in the air before winc­ing in pain be­cause he'd done his shoulder in.
"Kick that nonce's ass!" Mikoto shouted glee­fully, one arm around Reita's neck as his arms were around her waist.
"You're the hero this world needs, Saiki-kun! Safe travels!" Kineshi pro­claimed, rais­ing a thumbs up again.
"Good luck, aibō!" said Riki.
"Best of luck in your endeavour, Kusuo-kun!" said Tōma. "I look for­ward to my alter­nate self hear­ing all about your escapade when you're done!"

A sudden burst of moderate wind proceed­ed to shoot through the room, send­ing Kokomi stumbl­ing back a few steps. Imu managed to catch her.
"And he's gone," said Bishōjo #1.

Chapter Text

Appearing in the past, Saiki instant­ly tele­port­ed to the inter­net café that Aiura show­ed him, call­ed Yamato's, and the place im­medi­ate­ly struck the psy­chic as frozen in the 2000s. The musty un­washed carpet, the hum­ming fluor­es­cent lights, the crumbl­ing lou­vre blinds, the abhorrent smell, all of it took him right back to that time his school took him to one of these places to do some research. It was an under­fund­ed school with no com­put­er lab of its own so they couldn't do it in-house. Ironically, some­one got in trouble for look­ing up porn there. That was a fun day, not.

Speaking of un-fun, the psychic had a loath­some task to do; use Psycho­metry on all the peri­phe­rals to see which one had the creat­ion of the post in its em­bed­ded memories. One might think he had to touch all the key­boards and mice in the build­ing, but Saiki had been smart about this and de­cid­ed to start with the com­put­ers he saw in the image his clair­voyant friend projected. It took about two seconds of fly­ing around invisibly, spin­ning him­self around, to find the angle the image was gene­rated from. Fortun­ately nobody was there.

Since he'd already taken his glove off, all Saiki had to do to get started was touch the key­board. When its em­bedded memo­ries hit him, it seem­ed the last time it was used was two weeks ago to up­load a Yo!​Tubo video. That was of no use. The next one, last used the pre­vious day. The next one, last used to ob­serve rape videos. Saiki re­coil­ed in dis­gust, equal parts due to the content and the fact it was a po­tent­ial lead so he had to touch it again. After he saw that dis­turb­ing memory the second time, the one he saw be­fore that was an in­nocu­ous re­search task about anci­ent Mayan temples weeks ago. Useless.
'I touched that disgust­ing key­board twice for nothing,' Saiki grumbled to himself, rather perturbed. He repress­ed a shi­ver at the kind of people who went there. 'The good and bad news is that it's not the freak I'm look­ing for. Onto the next one...'

He moved to the next computer to find that this was the one the post was written on. He saw it all in detail; every­body's rank­ings, the search for their pic­tures using some secret govern­ment facial re­cog­ni­tion net­work that even he didn't know about, the simul­tane­ous fake re­search for 'uni' to cover his tracks when­ever some­one walked past, and a lot of full-frontal images of the culprit's dis­gust­ing face: poorly-maintain­ed facial hair, miss­ing teeth, and abso­lute­ly dis­gust­ing facial ex­press­ions as he shifted in his seat like the per­vert he was, think­ing sex­ual thoughts about one of the girls, or Yūta, or Kaidō's siblings.

Saiki had to suppress the urge to vomit. This guy must've been from be­yond the fourth wall—Kusuo wiped out pædo­phil­ia by way of Mind Con­trol when he was 9 years old, but any­way, the ghosts were right. How did he get here then? The fact that was poss­ible meant there were cracks in the fourth wall, so the psy­chic had to seal them to en­sure no­body like that would ever get in again. 'Just what I needed: more shit to do,' Saiki lamented.

'At least I have a face to track down,' he thought, 'I wish Invis­ibil­ity lasted longer, so I could just leap to before he did that, wait for him, fol­low him home, then leap back again to kill him. I wouldn't have had to touch that filthy key­board and wit­ness that abject psychosis.'

He quickly cross­ed his eyes and found the culprit, tele­port­ing to his bed­room in his flat. Fortunate­ly the wind­ow was open so the burst of wind that creat­ed went un­noticed. The monstr­ous wanke­r was frantic­ally tidy­ing up print­ed images be­cause his flat­mate was coming, and he didn't want to make that 'friend­ship' more strain­ed than it already was.

The contents of those images were so horrify­ing that Saiki almost miss­ed the crack in the wall behind the desk. He bent down to look through it and saw that it was un­usual­ly dark in there. The out­side was on the other side of that wall, but no air came through it; that was the fourth wall and that was one of the cracks the pædo­phile came through. Kusuo stood up­right and an­nounc­ed to himself, 'Time to leap through time a second time,' and he went back one more day, appearing in the early hours of the morning before the sun came up.

The perp­etra­tor lived a miser­able life; anyone who knew him would des­cribe him as a cunt. He never put any effort into any­thing that remote­ly mattered, like school, cleanli­ness, or work. He'd been ex­pel­led from so many schools and fired from so many jobs that it was un­fathom­able how he'd got into any uni­vers­ity at all. His parents, drug addicts with AIDS, had kick­ed him out of their dingy house when he got arrest­ed the first time, and he had been couch-surfing for years when he some­how found some­one else with the same fucked up view of the world as him who was will­ing to let him live in the same flat. As expect­ed, though, it would not go smoothly. At that point, already slow­ly dying from heroin addict­ion and his own AIDS he'd got from sharing needles, the dis­gust­ing man sank even lower and start­ed indulg­ing in his sick desires to have sex­ual inter­course with children. He'd al­ready been on the dark web this whole time, so it didn't take much dig­ging to find the ill­icit ma­ter­ial he wanted. He would spend hours in there, print­ing child porn to mas­tur­bate to, all of which his soon-to-be-killer dis­cover­ed when he forgot he didn't have a glove on and picke­d up one of these images.

The image was of a 7-year-old Iridatsu Yūta in the shower. This despic­able, vile, hein­ous fiend had been wank­ing while look­ing at pic­tures of an inno­cent child who had no idea that was happen­ing, that his home had been bugg­ed. Did he ever meet this man?! If so, what odious things did he do?!! The possi­bil­ity made Saiki start to shake with rage. Seething with blood­lust, he burned the image in his hands, the ash scatter­ing around the room. He turn­ed back to the desk and saw more images of Yūta, as well as both Kaidō Sora and Toki, which was especial­ly worry­ing because Sora was right around the age when people start explor­ing thems­elves, for lack of a better term, so this fuck­ing demon would have a field day if he saw some­thing she didn't want to even think about herself. Saiki was about to burn the images for his own sanity, but he real­ised that the police would need evidence of that man's wrong­doings before the site that spawn­ed all this un­forgiv­able treach­ery would ever go offline.

Saiki turned around to look at him. 'Pathetic,' he thought. 'He thinks he can get away with this. Well, in my world, pædo­philes are ex­tinct for good reason. This sick fuck needs to die be­fore he can hurt my friends, and so I'm going to-' an image of blue hair caught his eye. On the wall adja­cent to the tenant's bed, he saw a pic­ture of Kokomi touch­ing her­self in her own bedroom. 'He's been in her house too!?!'

Smash!! The window exploded inwards, sending glass fly­ing all over the room and blow­ing the scat­ter­ed images up into the air, waking the pædo­phile with a start. Blood start­ed pump­ing and he got goose­bumps, jolt­ing up­right and star­ing this pink-haired in­trud­er in the eye. The terrify­ing man glared dag­gers straight into his soul (well, what little soul he had) so sharp he physic­al­ly felt pain from just that look. Immediate­ly he felt his blad­der leak­ing into his under­pants and he locked up in fear.

A few agonis­ing seconds passed.

"Who the-?"
The pervert was suddenly flung upwards, smash­ing his head on the ceiling. He cried out in pain and con­fus­ion be­fore his throat rapid­ly com­press­ed, render­ing him un­able to breathe. Blood start­ed to seep out of his hair and leak down the sides of his head.

"Pædophile," the psychic growled, fling­ing the nonce side­ways, pain­ful­ly drag­ging his shoulder blades, pelvis and elbows along the wall, grind­ing against his bones and mak­ing him emit a stifl­ed shriek. "That's it," Saiki spat, drop­ping the psycho, "Squeal like the pig you are." Kusuo grab­bed him and whip­ped his arm over his head to­wards the oppo­site wall, rapid­ly throw­ing the de­spic­able crea­ture face-first into it with a loud crack.

"You are the lowest scum of reality," the pink time tra­vel­ler insulted, drop­ping the pædo onto his desk and let­ting him fall over. He flip­ped back­wards and hit the floor with his chin, crack­ing it and los­ing even more teeth, right before his legs caught up and his toes got broken on the floor, send­ing shocks up his legs. "You break into child­ren's houses and place cameras there, and touch your­self while look­ing at their naked pictures. You FUCK­ING SCUM!! I'm gonna make you SUFFER!!!" Kusuo pick­ed up the per­vert by his but­tock and roll­ed him over with force, send­ing him tumbl­ing into the wall, get­ting cover­ed in cuts from the glass and break­ing his elbow on the radiator. He was now face up.

Saiki marched over to him, wrench­ed the wheel­ed chair out of the way, send­ing it crash­ing into the door. He began to rub his shoe in the pædo­phile's face, press­ing on his nose as he began to cry. "Oh? What's that?!" the psy­chic taunted, "Do you ex­pect me to have mercy on you, know­ing what you're about to do?!!" He lift­ed his foot off and kick­ed the nonce in the side with about 1% of his strength, just to pro­long the bastard's suffer­ing. He wail­ed in pain, as the force sent the con­tents of his guts spill­ing out the other side, shatter­ing some ribs and creat­ing a bend in his spine. The psychic un­intent­ional­ly froze the spill­age into ice.

"Please..." the pervert wheezed, "I've done no­thing wrong..." WHAM! The in­truder stomp­ed onto his left leg, shatter­ing it so badly it came off, spew­ing arteri­al blood every­where like a high-pressure hose. The pervert scream­ed like a little girl.
Fitting, the psychic thought. This maniac­al fuck­ing cunt was mak­ing the noises he wish­ed to hear from the victims he would never get to have. Still, the nerve of him to claim inno­cence sent Saiki up the wall. He reach­ed down to grab the per­vert by the neck and hoist him up with one hand (the one with a glove still on) and choke the shit out of him.

"And you have the AUDA­CITY to claim you're inno­cent!!" Saiki ex­claimed, float­ing the evi­dence of the crime in front of him. Images of naked child­ren as young as five flew into the pædo­phile's field of vision, lay­ing bare the spoils of his sick fetish. "Look at all this!!!" scream­ed Saiki at the top of his voice. "ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE BELOW AGE OF CON­SENT, AND NONE OF THEM WANTED YOU TO MAS­TUR­BATE TO THEM!!!!" Bones started to creak under Psycho­kinetic pressure as blood con­tinu­ed to pour. "DID YOU THINK YOU WERE SAFE COM­ING TO MY WORLD, SPYING ON MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, AND CHILD­REN!!??!!"

Skin started to stretch and split apart, grow­ing into lumpy cancer­ous tumours at hun­dreds of times normal speed, as light­ning flutter­ed around the room, singe­ing the walls, ceil­ing and floor, setting the door and the per­vert on fire. The pædo­phile scream­ed with all his might before Saiki punch­ed a hole through his lung, render­ing him un­able to breathe. Saiki look­ed him dead in the eyes and read his mind. This vile creature, this abom­in­able thing which could not con­ceiv­ably be called human, was justi­fy­ing its deeds to it­self with the com­plete­ly retard­ed, asi­nine think­ing that he had never been able to have sex be­cause his penis was too small, or at least that's what Saiki could piece toge­ther while look­ing through the shroud of this bastard's severe mental illness. This psycho­tic dick­head had the be­lief that if you didn't have a gi­nor­mous penis and fuck every woman you saw, you were a homo­sexual dis­grace to human­ity and de­served to be cas­trat­ed and raped. This be­lief had only been made worse by the sick pre­da­tors who lurk­ed in the dark­est corners of the world wide web.

"Why in the FUCK did you let your­self fall for shit like that?!" Saiki snapped, grit­ting his teeth and yank­ing the per­vert distress­ingly close, glar­ing so hard the skin on the nonce's face began to pe­tri­fy and crum­ble away. "Why did you STALK MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, JACK OFF TO CHILD­REN, IN­STRUCT PEOPLE HOW TO GAG AND BIND WOMEN FOR 'SUB­MISS­ION,' AND WRITE THIS... HEATHEN­OUS, GRO­TESQUE, DE­HUMAN­IS­ING LIST OF WHO'S MORE WORTHY OF LIV­ING BASED ON THEIR DICKS!!???"
The culprit's eyes went wide and to the best of his ability he chok­ed out, "I... put you... in top tier..."
"I DON'T GIVE A FLY­ING FUCK ABOUT WHERE YOU PUT ME!!!! THE FACT YOU PUT EVERY­ONE I KNOW ON THAT LIST MEANT ALL OF US GOT SEX­UAL­LY HARASS­ED AT SCHOOL AND I HAD TO RE­WIND TIME TO PREVENT IT!!!!"

The enraged Saiki spun the pervert around as hard as he could, break­ing his remain­ing leg on the desk and throw­ing him over­arm into the burn­ing door, and the door oppo­site, with so much force that they, and the walls sur­round­ing them, both explod­ed out­wards like they were made of Lego. The perv­ert roll­ed side­ways through the result­ing rubble before com­ing to a stop. Now in his friend's room oppo­site, he lay in a broken mess on the floor, the pool of blood grow­ing as he some­how didn't lose one shred of con­sci­ous­ness.

Saiki angrily power-walked over to him, levitat­ing him up­wards and growl­ing into his ear, "I've got the per­fect punish­ment for you, and you're gonna wish you didn't beg me for mercy." The pervert, shred­ded and shat­tered, began to cry, hack­ing and sob­bing, chok­ing on what was left of his breath and his own blood, clos­ing his eyes to brace for the end, before suddenly...

The pain went away.

Confused, he looked at the psy­chic who drop­ped him face-down on the floor. He felt all four limbs hit it. All four? He look­ed at his legs to see they were both there. All his in­jur­ies were gone. All his pain was gone.

Stumped, the nonce got up and look­ed around to see his friend's room was intact, and there was no-one in it. The doors were both there, his own closed and un­burned, and his friend's was open. 'What was that?!' the sicko wonder­ed, reel­ing from the pain he thought he'd felt. He'd done pretty hard­core drugs for a long time and ex­peri­enc­ed some fuck­ed up hal­luci­nations, but that was the most pain he'd ever under­gone. He wiped his fore­head and felt it was cover­ed in sweat. He check­ed the top of his head to see if there was blood on it. He brought his hands in front of his eyes and saw that there was none. He check­ed his legs again, moving them both. They were both still there.

'Oh thank god,' he thought, before what he was doing hit him like a truck: 'The images! I've gotta hide them!!' The pædo­phile ran for­wards to his room, open­ing the door, and what he saw made him shit him­self immediately.

"Hello there, you fucking cunt!" exclaim­ed the pink intrud­er from his hal­luci­nation.

The nonce took a few steps back, going pale in horror. He scream­ed as he turn­ed tail and ran for the exit, only to slip on the carpet some­how and get drag­ged back into his room by his leg. He tried to claw at the floor to stop it but it was no use. In two seconds he was get­ting drag­ged over the sharp glass again, pierc­ing his skin all along his front, leav­ing streaks of blood all over the already dis­gust­ing, stinky carpet. As he cried, beg­ging for for­give­ness, he was yank­ed off the floor by a strong hand in his hair, com­ing face to face with the psychic, his gaze as cold as ever, glaring con­tempt and malice into the bastard's very being.

"You're gonna wish you didn't beg me for mercy."

"Please kill me..." the pædophile plead­ed, start­ing to cry again like the path­etic wuss he was afraid to be. Saiki merely stared at him, tilt­ing his head and bring­ing it closer. It was the most fright­en­ed the terrible man had ever felt in his entire life.
"No," the psychic said firm­ly, before a smirk crept up his face. "I'm going to give you what you've always wanted," he said creepily.
Breathlessly, nervously, the per­vert asked, "What... w-what is that?"
"I'm gonna give you a long, thick cock, per­fect for shag­ging ladies," the intruder said, grin­ning malic­ious­ly like it was a sick joke.
The pervert was speech­less. Was this still a hal­luci­nation? He'd never seen such an in­timi­dat­ing expression on anyone's face before, and it was of­fer­ing him the one thing he always wanted?! This didn't make any sense...!

Saiki pushed the pervert away and he fell over back­wards, some­how avoid­ing put­ting his hands in any of the glass. The pervert look­ed up at him, abso­lute­ly in­dignant, and start­ed to say, "How-?"
"Strip," the psychic ordered, still grin­ning. "I want you to see my gift for yourself."

Breaking out in goose­bumps and shivers, the pervert timid­ly turn­ed around and un­zip­ped his fly, look­ing in trepid­ation at his ab­normal­ly small, flac­cid penis, before send­ing his trousers and under­pants to the floor. He start­ed to turn back around-

"Completely!!!" the intruder barked.
"Y-y-yyyessir!" he responded frantic­ally, turn­ing back to the window. Positive­ly trembl­ing in abject terror, he took off his shirt and threw it behind him. Not one for wear­ing socks, he was now naked, his over­weight, unfit, repuls­ive body now bare for anyone to see. He hasti­ly roll­ed down his blind and turn­ed back to the man who was in charge, but it was not a man he saw. It was a woman. One with hair a light­er shade of pink than the man who had order­ed him to strip, but the same cold, blank, menac­ing stare. It was Kuriko, Saiki's sister.

'This illiterate retard,' thought Saiki. '"Kuriko" is a forename—My sur­name is still Saiki.'

"Wha- ...how-?!" he stam­mer­ed. Trans­form­ations took an hour, didn't they?!
"Look down," ordered 'Kuriko', pointing. The per­vert looked down and gasped. He couldn't believe his eyes, but under­neath his swol­len alco­hol­ic gut he saw that he was get­ting an erection. This was im­poss­ible; he had com­plete and abso­lute erect­ile dys­function! He reach­ed to his dick with tre­pid­ation to touch it, and it was real. It was hard.
"I- wha- how...? What is happening?" He asked as it grew.

It appeared to reach full size and he look­ed up, having for­got­ten who this was. Kusuko then grab­bed both sides of her uni­form and pull­ed it up, reveal­ing she didn't wear a bra. He gasp­ed in dis­belief. Her boobs were decent­ly sized, plump and in need of a squeeze, ob­serv­ations which al­most made 'Kuriko' wretch. However, she had com­mit­ted to this for the pur­poses of build­ing him up just to send him crashing down, so she pull­ed her skirt and knickers down, float­ing herself up to pull her shoes and socks off too.

"Like what you see, you fucking nonce?" she asked, pos­ing like she was float­ing on an invis­ible broom­stick. He nod­ded like a goat splash­ed with water, taking a small step closer. "You're still gonna die," she in­form­ed the nonce. His face fell. "But be­fore I kill you..." she slow­ly lean­ed closer, ass up as if the broom was still in place, her face morph­ing into a truly deranged smile, "I'm going to give you the fuck of your life."

The pædophile immediate­ly lurch­ed forward, his clam­my hands grab­bing at her to try and molest her, but she flew back­wards and kick­ed him in the face with both feet, send­ing him back­wards into the broken window. His feet, mean­while, were bleed­ing every­where be­cause he'd step­ped on glass again. He howl­ed in pain for the ump­teen­th time that morning.

Saiki flew over to him so they were face-to-face, eyes wide open as her de­ranged smile falter­ed into a furious glare, and said in a low tone, "I didn't say you were gonna fuck me."
The bleeding man got a feel­ing he knew where this was going, but dared not think it. His breath­ing quick­en­ed and he tried to keep a level tone as he asked, "The hell d'you mean?"
"Look down," said the float­ing woman, grin­ning again, so he did, and he gasped. His dick had grown twice the length. He look­ed back up and lung­ed at her again but she used Psycho­kinesis to fling him into the ceil­ing and pin him up there be­fore he could get close.

"Now it's time for you to suffer for your crimes," the psychic declared, deli­ber­ate­ly add­ing some of his male voice in there, float­ing the in­crimi­nat­ing images before the pervert's eyes again. He was struggl­ing to breathe by this point. He wondered, why was he hard in this situ­ation, and why was he so light-headed?
Right as he wondered that, an extreme­ly sharp pain cut through his penis and he scream­ed out the last of his breath. He look­ed down to see that his dick, still grow­ing, had a sharp side­ways bend in it. He breath­ed in and immedi­ate­ly it sharp­ly bent the other way, caus­ing him to cry like a little bitch again.

"It's very flexible, isn't it?!" the psychic taunt­ed emphatically, complete­ly sar­do­nic, apo­plep­tic and well past sadism, "Perfect for rap­ing my girlfriend!!" Some of the broken glass rose off the floor before fly­ing into the mons­ter and it land­ed in his eyes, throat, nipples and testicles, send­ing it into a whole new world of pain.

"Imagine the tortured screams!!" Saiki growl­ed as the nonce's dick con­tinued to expand, "Imag­ine the life­long suf­fer­ing you will bring to those people!!!" She slid the pædo along the ceil­ing again, destroy­ing the ceil­ing light before ram­ming his head into the wall. He fell off, smack­ing his fore­head on the door frame and land­ing right on his junk, which top­ped out about half­way up his torso. Words did not de­scribe the visceral pain he felt.

The pervert, suffering a major con­cuss­ion, still re­tain­ed con­sci­ous­ness. He wish­ed for it to end, still not be­liev­ing sex­ual at­tract­ion to minors was a crime. Saiki float­ed omi­nous­ly to­wards him, rotat­ing him onto his back to glare down at his dis­fig­ur­ed face. 'I didn't want to have to go this far, but this bas­tard is ir­re­deem­able. He needs to under­stand exact­ly the kind of suf­fer­ing he's been wish­ing upon children.' She sent energy to her wrist and a glow­ing blade spark­ed into life.

The psychic used Psycho­kinesis to levi­tate the pædo's hips upwards, the penis straight­en­ing with it. "Please..." he begged, still think­ing he deserved mercy, "Make it end..."
Saiki grabbed the shaft with so much strength it al­most got crush­ed, as the nonce wail­ed in pain. "Make it end!?" she ask­ed with derision, "But this is exact­ly what you wanted: a big, long cock!! You un­grate­ful little wretch!"

All of a sudden Saiki sliced through the bottom of it at the speed of fuck­ing sound, tak­ing it clean off. Blood splash­ed every­where and the nonce's body fell to the floor, the pain so bad it defi­ed possi­bil­ity. She then estab­lish­ed a visual link, show­ing the mon­ster what he look­ed like; broken, beaten and bloody, in a worth­less heap on the carpet.
"You're gonna see what I do to you," said Saiki omi­nous­ly, still hold­ing the dick, "and you're gonna take it until you can't anymore." She manœu­vr­ed the bio­logi­cal dildo to point it at him, "Your fanta­sies of rap­ing some­one are gonna come true, you sick fuck, and you're going to enjoy it."

Saiki then lower­ed the detach­ed dick and turn­ed to the in­con­spicu­ous fil­ing cabi­net by the door, flick­ing her wrist at it. Its bottom draw­er flew open and out came a roll of duct tape. The perpetra­tor was quick­ly spun onto his front, bottom in the air, send­ing the fresh blood that had pool­ed on his front spill­ing onto the carpet. His arms flew be­hind his back, cross­ing as the duct tape began to peel it­self and wrap around him, bind­ing him into place like a sub­miss­ive whore. He cried out in protest, try­ing to beg for his life, before a ball gag flew out of the drawer and into his mouth, render­ing him unable to move it.

"What a beautiful sight," Saiki drawl­ed venom­ously, bring­ing the tape to herself. She plant­ed the pervert's penis where hers usual­ly is and used the tape to attach it. The per­vert gasp­ed and whimpere­d as he real­ised what she was doing; she had given her­self a strap-on made from his dick. By this point it was un­reason­ably long and wide, somehow still hard too.

"You KNOW what's gonna happen next!!" Saiki taunted, in­ject­ing some of her male voice into it again, before yank­ing the pervert's arse wide open, tear­ing his skin, and insert­ing his penis into it. The pædo squeal­ed like a whore as it stretch­ed his arse wide open, doing serious damage in there. Blood spew­ed out like a foun­tain, per­pe­tual­ly gene­rat­ing more per the psychic's command.

The pædophile cried so loud he cough­ed up blood, damag­ing his larynx and his hearing, but not as much as his rectum. He under­stood now the kind of pain he would've in­flict­ed if he got his way, and regret flood­ed through him like a tsunami. He agon­is­ing­ly tried to turn his head to look at the psychic and beg for for­give­ness, still see­ing him­self in that humi­liat­ing position. Maybe this freak could re­verse the damage again. Maybe-
"NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!!!!" the psychic screamed, pull­ing her strap-on out and slam­ming it back in with full force. The pædo's body went limp, thorough­ly over­whelm­ed, but this did not end with one thrust. Saiki plunged in again, pull­ed out, and shov­ed it in again, thrash­ing that retard's insides with his own dick, which she con­tinu­ed to expand. "YOU HAD THE INTENTION OF RAPING MY GIRLFRIEND, AND THAT IS UNFOR­GIV­ABLE!!!" Saiki yelled, "TAKE THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS!!!!"

The pervert felt his insides, notably his spinal cord, get shred­ded and rip­ped apart as the life start­ed to escape from him. Saiki con­tinu­ed to mock­ing­ly moan "Yeah, yeah, yeeeaaaah~!" as it got more and more un­bear­able due to the in­creas­ing size of the in­flat­ed sex-aid. To call this tor­ture would be an under­state­ment. With­in a matter of seconds that felt like hours, the penis had ex­pand­ed so much that it rip­ped through the skin of the pervert's back, tak­ing his head off, send­ing blood ex­plod­ing everywhere, final­ly put­ting that cunt out of his misery.

Saiki let all the air out of her strap-on, which flail­ed all over the place like a bal­loon as it return­ed to its original size, shri­vel­led up skin everywhere. She detach­ed the tape and burn­ed it, and the penis, away to erase her DNA. "That's what you want­ed other people to ex­perience," she said to the cadaver. "You finally got the big dick you wanted, you sick fuck."

Saiki immediately scanned the room, observ­ing that she'd left it in a de­cre­pit ruin. Scorch marks every­where, glass on the floor, holes in the walls. She rotat­ed side­ways in the air, still not touch­ing the floor with her bare feet to avoid leaving DNA on it, and lower­ed her­self to look at the crack in the fourth wall. It had sealed up. 'Good,' she thought, 'All it takes to seal one up is a mass­ive ex­ert­ion of psychic energy. I have my re­serv­ations about using such malice, but that nonce de­served it. So does his room­mate and every­one who fail­ed to pre­vent him becom­ing such a fucking scumbag.

'It feels good to put the irredeem­able in their place,' she thought, 'but the police will be here any second due to the noise, so I have to act fast and get out of here.' She im­medi­ate­ly found all the images he'd print­ed and placed burn marks on the faces of Yūta, the Kaidōs, her friends and family, and especial­ly Kokomi. In fact, she burned that one outright. The one she didn't burn was the one of Makoto, because that bas­tard de­serv­ed to suffer about as much. 'Hey, readers! Who wants to see that in­breeder suffer?' she asked no-one. 'Come on, Writer​6188. You turn­ed me into a venge­ful sadist. Nobody likes that canon­ical in­breeder pædo­phile. Make him suffer!' she beckon­ed no-one. 'Come on! It'll be fun!!'

Upon receiving no response, Saiki sighe­d and brought her­self back into reality. She scat­ter­ed the images around the room and lay down in mid­air, levitat­ing her clothes to put them back on. Under­wear and socks, then skirt, then top and shoes. She sat up in the air and check­ed where the police were. 'Oh good. Right on time,' she observed, before tele­port­ing to the roof. She would have to stay in the past to account for being there the next day, which meant hav­ing to do an exam again.

Good grief.

The SWATs burst into the flat, wav­ing guns and shout­ing at any­one who might've been there to get down. They didn't find any­one, but when they turn­ed the corner into the pædo's room, what they saw would stick with them for life.

Chapter Text

It was a bitterly cold day in late March. Freez­ing winds rush­ed through the air in Left Flank Town, chill­ing every­one to the bone, which would not help third-year students at PK Aca­demy do well in their final exams. The four 'friends' ambled their way to­wards school, talking about the weather, the tests they had that day, Dark Re­union, and in Kaidō and Kubo­yasu's case, being gay. Nendō was rather sad be­cause Saiki did not allow him to take them for ramen and make them late, com­mand­ing the cook to send them to the kon­bini for break­fast bars. It was much quick­er than wait­ing for ramen to mari­nate and cool down.

When they got up to the gate it was quiet, not many people around—This was typical for exam season be­cause the students were all in­side get­ting ready, especial­ly con­si­der­ing the wind. Bizarre­ly, the fore­cast said it would be sunny and warm the next week.

As Saiki made his way to the class­room, he met all his class­mates and teachers, every­one wish­ing each other good luck on the exams they had that day. Toritsuka beg­ged Saiki to help him cheat, Aiura pull­ed him away for a 'pep talk,' Hairo tried and fail­ed to get every­one exer­cis­ing de­spite the fact it was a writ­ten exam, Akechi rambl­ed to him­self pure­ly to blow off some steam so as to avoid dis­tract­ing him­self with his two con­tigu­ous para­llel lines of thought like he used to when he was a child, Saiko was being told off for (jok­ing­ly) try­ing to bribe the teach­ers to give him full marks, and all in all no­thing was out of the ordinary.

Before they went to sit the exam, though, Saiki sent a telepathic message to everyone who knew of his powers:

"Meet me in here after school."

The exam went well, depend­ing on who you ask. Some people thought they did terr­ib­ly despite study­ing for weeks. Some people thought they did alright despite not study­ing at all. Some people knew that these exams would mean no­thing be­cause the numbers that can come from exams can be chosen randomly, much like money, and the govern­ment admit­ted- wait, that hadn't hap­pen­ed yet.
Saiki was still cheat­ing as ever, using other people's thoughts to fig­ure out the correct and in­correct answers, but he had been steadi­ly in­creas­ing his scores, so he didn't end up right in the middle anymore. He need­ed to play by the rules to be allow­ed to secure his future.

At the end of the day, every­body fled the scene, not want­ing to be in this dread­ful place any long­er than they abso­lute­ly had to. This left only the people who knew about Saiki's powers. Their heads were spin­ning, because last time he call­ed every­one toge­ther like this it was to reveal that he had psychic powers. Could he be about to say some­thing that would top that? What could it be???

Rifuta slid open the door and walk­ed in, clos­ing it behind her. "Sorry I'm late, guys," she apo­lo­gised, "It's a god​damn stamp­ede out there(!)"
"You're all wonder­ing why I gather­ed you here today," Saiki quick­ly began, look­ing around the room. Teruhashi, Kaidō, Nendō, Kuboyasu, Yumehara, Hairo, Mera, Saiko, Toritsuka, Aiura, Akechi, and Rifuta, all nodded yes.
"Oh! Oh! Can we guess??" Yumehara blurt­ed out, stick­ing her hand up in the air.
The room erupted into shout­ing, every­one try­ing to make their guesses heard over everyone else's. Some of the sug­gest­ions were com­plete­ly ridiculous. Akechi had a think.
"Have you discover­ed how to cheat death?" Toritsuka asked.
"Has your father paid off his house?" Saiko sneered.
"Is Dark Reunion plan­ning a full-scale assault, mean­ing we have to evac­uate the city?!" Kaidō ex­claim­ed fran­tic­ally, much more excited than he wanted to let on.
"Did ya find some de­li­cious coffee jelly??" Mera asked excitedly, posi­tive­ly starv­ing after not eating since lunch.
"Are you turn­ing into a girl?" Rifuta laugh­ed jokingly, not much of a fan of boy Saiki.
"Did a gang send you a threaten­ing letter?" asked Kuboyasu, ready to throw hands. "Did I not say I can take down any­thing that comes our way so you don't have to worry?"
"Does Saiki Kusuo is gay?" asked Aiura, which made Teruhashi glare at her and huff. Yumehara, Rifuta and Nendō broke out into up­roar­ious laughter.

"Did something happen with your powers, Kusuo-kun?" enquir­ed Akechi, mak­ing every­one stop shout­ing, "I've observ­ed that you've gone back to using your old glasses that don't block X-Ray Vision which, con­si­der­ing how happy it made you to be able to see opaque objects (notably Teruhashi-chan,) can only mean some­thing or some­one broke them." Teruhashi blush­ed at the af­firm­ation. Everyone look­ed at Saiki and saw that indeed, he had gone back to his old green toy glasses, mean­ing he could no longer see their faces. "I hate to jump to con­clu­sions," Akechi con­tinu­ed, prompt­ing quiet protests that this is what he always does, "but am I right in as­sum­ing that there was an inci­dent yes­ter­day that led to some­thing happen­ing that af­fect­ed us?"
Everyone present looked at them­selves and each other nerv­ously, going on that implication.

"That's partially correct," Saiki answered, "but... it wasn't exact­ly yes­ter­day. It was this morning." This confus­ed all present. This morning? What hap­pen­ed this morning?
"That can't be true," Akechi replied, "When you invit­ed us all to this room, you were al­ready wear­ing your old-school toy glasses, mean­ing it had to have hap­pen­ed yes­ter­day, unless of course it was be­fore you set off for school this morn­ing, which must mean-"
"Did you rewind time, Kusuo?" asked Aiura, wide-eyed.
"Yes, I did," said Saiki, which made every­one start to freak out. "Wait a minute," he com­mand­ed, hold­ing a fin­ger up. The room fell silent. "Good grief. Just let me ex­plain what hap­pened."

And so, Kusuo went on to explain every­thing, barring the details of the entire list, most of the rank­ings, and what he did to the pædo­phile. Everyone cheer­ed when he dis­clos­ed that the cul­prit was dead and the fourth wall had been sealed. It was much easier to think after an exam than it was after being cor­ral­led into a room and told not to leave be­cause the police were get­ting in­volved. What the psychic did explain, though, was how he found the nonce with the help of the Ψ­kickers, and which child­ren were on the list.

"WHAT!?! SORA AND TOKI WERE ON IT!!???" Shun bel­low­ed, enraged.
"Why was Yūta on there???" Kokomi cried, very upset. She had be­come rather pro­tect­ive of the young sprog.
"Let me at 'im!" shouted Aren, shak­ing his fist, "Shun and I will man­gle his corpse so it's un­recog­nis­able!!!"
"I'll use the un­god­ly powers of Black Beat to render div­ine judge­ment upon that fiend's rotten soul!"

"Whoa! Guys!" shouted Hairo to dis­pel them, "There's no need to beat up a corpse!"
"Guys, he's dead," Toritsuka explain­ed, "and be­fore you say 'torture his ghost,' it-" he sigh­ed and slump­ed, rather tired from the exam, "Ghosts don't re­member their lives."
"Yes. He's dead forever," the pink guy con­firm­ed, "But before we move on from this, I must in­form you that there are hid­den cameras in most of your houses, notably your bath­rooms and bedrooms."
Everybody gasped, especial­ly the girls. Shun was posi­tive­ly tomato red at this point, en­raged at the im­pli­ca­tion that he and his sib­lings were being spied on.
"Don't worry, everyone," Kusuo reassured, "Aiura and I can find the cameras and re­move them all." Every­one breath­ed a sigh of relief.

'Please tell me you deleted the images,' Kokomi thought, want­ing to shrink into herself, move coun­try and be­come one with Kusuo all at once.
Kusuo, knowing she wouldn't take it well know­ing some­one had spied on her mas­tur­bat­ing, simply replied "Yes," direct­ly to her. "I'll remove the cameras in your house first. Then we'll torture Makoto together, because he's the one who put them there. Right, Writer​6188?!"
'Who are you talk­ing to?' asked Kokomi, be­wil­der­ed. Writer​6188 did not exist.
'Yes you fucking do. You wrote that line.' Nope. You in­sert­ed that yourself. You're becom­ing too powerful, Kusuo. Go and destroy those cameras, then shag Kokomi. You've had a long day twice; you deserve it.

'Good grief. To hell with this,' Kusuo thought, de­claring "Right! Let's get started. Aiura, be­gin the search for hid­den cameras in Kokomi's house."
"You got it, bossman," Aiura repli­ed, pre­par­ing her crystal ball.
"Oooooooo!" cooed Rifuta, "Saiki's pri­ori­tis­ing his girl­friend over the children!"
"Yeah! What the hell, Saiki?!" Yumehara shout­ed, "Pro­tect the child­ren first! Shun's bro­ther and sis­ter are in danger!"
"Yeah! Come on!!" Shun echoed, "And what about your totally-not-son?"
"They'll be the next two houses we search and de­con­tami­nate," Kusuo answered. Mera and Kuboyasu laugh­ed at the word 'de­con­tami­nate'. "The more you people dawdle the more time it'll take. Let's go," he said to Kokomi, hold­ing out his hand. She gladly took it with a beam­ing smile and every­one began to file out the door.
Saiko stayed behind, an over­whelm­ing sense of dread begin­ning to build.

Kokomi slyly look­ed at Shun as they were walk­ing out, Shun hold­ing Aren's hand, and she whisper­ed to the short guy, "He's totally Ku's son~" They both giggl­ed at his ex­pense with Chiyo as Kusuo sighed, roll­ing his eyes and grumbl­ing to him­self de­spite blushing.
Imu took the chance to slide up to Chiyo, call­ing her cute and in­vit­ing her back home to 'have fun.' Chiyo said "ōhu" and went the other way with her.

"I'm starting to regret my old ways..." Reita mumbl­ed under his breath.
"Well, good," said Mikoto, mildly annoy­ed at how long it took him to realise that, "But I wanna..." she drop­ped to a whisper, "y'know... 'have fun' too~"
Reita's face broke out into a delight­ful­ly per­vert­ed grin and he started to laugh, hold­ing him­self back and whis­per­ing back, "Your flat or the temple?"
Miko did a sexy head tilt and whisper­ed, "It's your call, babes~ I can spot people... com­ing, if you know what I mean~"
Reita laughed and gently grab­bed Miko's ass­cheek. She glee­ful­ly stuck her tongue out.
"Can you not do that in front of us?" Kusuo com­plained. The other two Ψ­kickers turn­ed around and saw his ir­ri­tat­ed ex­press­ion, indi­cat­ing that if they were to do shit like that they should do it on their own time. They laughed aw­kward­ly and con­tinu­ed on their merry way.

And so the psychic and the sooth­sayer went to all their friends' houses, find­ing and re­mov­ing all the hidden cameras. When Aiura went to Saiki's house though, he told her to keep them there (except for the one in his parents' room) be­cause they were for Kūsuke to monitor his powers.
"That's- are you super-duper sure you're OK with that, Kusuo?" asked Mikoto.
"I have to be," Kusuo answered, "He's the only person who knows how to build new limit­ers. That's hap­pen­ed before. I've had to ask him to make some new glass­es too, be­cause I can't find my anti-X-Ray ones."
"That's kinda fucked up, dude," she said, "What hap­pens if some­one else hacks into 'em?"
"Kūsuke will know. It'll be fine."

"Still though, hidden cameras in your own home," Miko added, re­press­ing a shudder, "It was totes shock­ing to find out liter­al­ly every­one's houses had them."
Kusuo humph­ed and said, "Yes. Well. Apparent­ly there's also a govern­ment-run facial re­cog­ni­tion net­work that some­how I didn't know about;" Mikoto's mouth fell open, "and it was easi­ly access­ible be­cause the pædo­phile was using it. I'm gonna have to in­ter­ro­gate Saiko about that tomorrow."
"You-" Mikoto was flabber­gast­ed and afraid. She stam­mer­ed for a second or two and said, "You'd fuckin' better, babes."

Once everyone had eaten, the students of PK Aca­demy went about their evening. Hairo did his night-time exer­cise before abrupt­ly fall­ing asleep at 8 o'clock sharp. Nendō, Kaidō and Kuboyasu had an ex­cel­lent suki­yaki meal at a res­tau­rant that had just opened, before Shun and Aren went home and Riki went to work. Akechi spent his even­ing study­ing for the next test. Saiko spent the even­ing and night panick­ing, try­ing to re­mem­ber how Saiki's powers work­ed so he could avoid being smited for asso­ciat­ion with the facial re­cog­ni­tion network. Mera had to work all night to make ends meet, an ex­haust­ing task.

The couples, mean­while, settl­ed into their liv­ing spaces and got inti­mate with each other, know­ing that anyone who had seen them had been dealt with. Chiyo and Imu enjoy­ed snog­ging and touch­ing each other in Chiyo's flat while her parents were out. Reita and Miko had lots of fun in Reita's room in the temple, try­ing to last as long as poss­ible with­out being noticed. Shun and Aren made love in Aren's room while his parents were out, the tall guy want­ing to en­sure the small guy that he would be safe as long as they were together.

Due to Kusuo's Telepathy and not want­ing to wear his ger­man­ium ring be­cause it would make him fear being walked in on, he and Kokomi had tele­port­ed to a run-down, aban­don­ed but clean ryō­kan in the middle of the forest, which had been un­occu­pi­ed since the money ran out and every­body moved to the city for work. Nobody, not a single human, was any­where within 10 kilo­metres.

Kusuo's family had been tell­ing him to do some­thing about that, but he couldn't be bother­ed to, be­cause if and when he moved some­where with Kokomi he would not want the voices of loads of people in his head while he was in his own home.

The K's were naked, examin­ing each other. Kokomi loved the subtle muscu­la­ture that Kusuo dis­played, and the look in his eyes when he saw her. Kusuo, mean­while, could never get enough of trac­ing Kokomi's curves with his eyes, with his new anti-X-Ray glasses that Kūsuke had quick­ly as­sem­bl­ed that afternoon.

Kokomi bit her lip when her eyes land­ed on Kusuo's dick, think­ing all sorts of naughty things about what they would do together. It made her anxious, especial­ly when Kusuo kneel­ed down to look at her pussy.

They didn't do this very often, both want­ing sex to be special. Kusuo had made it very clear to her, going on what he'd learn­ed from people's thoughts float­ing through his head, that to him sex was an ex­press­ion of love, not just a means of pleasure, so as he look­ed at her down there, part­ial­ly mak­ing sure these new glasses worked, he thought about all the ways he could ex­press how he felt to be with her.

"Like what you see~?♥︎♥︎" the bishōjo asked, run­ning her fin­gers down the slit once and pull­ing it open for him, biting her lip at how good it felt.
Kusuo stared at it for a few more seconds, before look­ing up at her ador­able face. Flustered, she giggled and winked. His face was ex­treme­ly cute too, despite the blank­ness. He blush­ed slight­ly at that.

"It's been a weird day," Kusuo remark­ed all of a sudden. This con­fus­ed Kokomi. She tilt­ed her head slight­ly and popped her hip out, beckon­ing him to elaborate.
"You were on the list," he said, look­ing at her with notice­able confusion, "and he put you in the 'godly' tier at the top."

There was a brief pause before Kokomi burst out laugh­ing hys­teric­ally, doubl­ing over for­wards and near­ly fall­ing. Kusuo caught her and she con­tinu­ed to belly-laugh into him like he'd told the funni­est joke she'd ever heard. Every laugh sent a wave through the two of them, and it felt awesome.
"That's hilarious!!" Kokomi declared, laugh­ing some more.
"That's not how you reacted when the entire school start­ed har­ass­ing us over it," Kusuo countered.
"I know, but still..." she giggled, "If any woman had a godly cock, of course it'd be me~"
Kusuo blinked, taken slightly aback, "OK...!" he said, weird­ed out a bit.
The bishōjo giggled and kiss­ed his cheek, whis­per­ing sens­ual­ly into his ear, "What would you do if I did have a cock~? Would you still love me~?"

Kusuo took a deep breath. This girl al­ways man­ag­ed to sur­prise him, and he loved the chal­lenge. He thought for a minute about why he even­tual­ly began to re­ci­pro­cate her feel­ings and asked her out. The glee she must've felt. That one time she went to that mix­er and thought to her­self that it would be better if he was there, de­spite prob­ab­ly sit­ting there doing nothing, and other things.
He kissed her gently on the lips and she kiss­ed him back, touch­ing their tongues and let­ting them dance in each other's mouths, while their hands slid down each other's backs and made their way to their sexy bits. When they reach­ed their targets, Kokomi moan­ed and pull­ed back, not real­is­ing how wet she'd become.

"It's not what's between your legs that made me fall in love with you," he replied, mak­ing her smile, "and if you did," he added, "I could al­ways trans­form into Kusuko." He then ran his fin­gers along Kokomi's wet vulva and she squeak­ed in excite­ment, a new idea hav­ing been put forth for the future.
"You should do it, baby," she encourag­ed shakily, struggl­ing to speak more than anti­ci­pated, "I want you to feel the way I feel~♥︎♥︎"

She daintily grabbed her boy­friend's dick and began to stroke it absent­mind­ed­ly. He suck­ed in air through his mouth at the sudden attack, and they kiss­ed each other again while fond­ling each other, moan­ing in pleasure. Kokomi's pussy was per­fect and Kusuo's dick was just the right size and shape for her, not too big or too wide. Just the right shape to make her feel amazing. They had been ad­just­ing it to maxi­mise pleasure.

"What about you?" Kokomi asked once they'd separat­ed to breathe, still gently run­ning her hands along it. "How big did he say yours is?"
Embarrassed, Kusuo shyly look­ed away and murmured, "He... put me in 'godly' too."
Kokomi giggled and turned her boy­friend's head to make eye contact, "Huhu­huhu~ he was right~ You do have a godly cock," she took a deep breath, feel­ing her­self get wetter, "and it makes me feel heavenly every time~ ♥︎♥︎♥︎" she wrap­ped her arms around his shoul­ders and said, "It's perfect for me, and I want it now. P-please." She blush­ed a bright, ador­able red.

Kusuo's face morph­ed into one of awe and he pick­ed her up by the ass, hold­ing her up like the most pre­cious trea­sure in the world. Kokomi con­tinu­ed to stare into his eyes, wrap­ping her legs around him and ψ­lent­ly plead­ing for it.
"Good grief, your con­fid­ence is amazing," Kusuo mur­mur­ed in a way that turn­ed her on so. He kiss­ed her and align­ed their privates, ready to make love. "I love that~♥︎♥︎♥︎"
"I love you," she whisper­ed, ready to burst if he didn't fuck her im­medi­ately.
"I love you too, ♥︎♥︎" Kusuo replied, before gently pull­ing her down onto his dick. They both moan­ed as it went in, enjoy­ing the sound and the feel­ing as it bot­tom­ed out. The two of them star­ed into each other's eyes as Kokomi wiggl­ed about, try­ing to get it just right, and when they did, they made love until the sun went down. They had dial­led in a per­fect fit.