Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Healing is not about erasing your past, but learning how to carry it with strength, not sorrow." -unknown

Today, she smelled like blood. Not her favorite scent, by any means, but yesterday she smelled like vomit so this was definitely an improvement. Skylar peeled the scrub top off her torso as carefully as possible and chucked it into the hazard bin. There was no salvaging the blue material, and she could say with certainty that she had officially learned her lesson in wearing scrubs from her own personal supply to the Pitt. It was a lesson she should have learned months ago, but better late than never.

“Fuck.” Skylar murmured as she realized the blood had stained her gray sports bra. She hurried over to the sinks lining the walls of the locker room and used her hand to wash away the dried blood on her stomach while splashing as much water as she could onto the stain.

Her last patient had been simple.

Eighty-six-year-old male with a history of dementia who presented with anemia. Assumed from chronic disease since everything else had been ruled out. His hemoglobin on arrival had been 5.4 which bought him a unit of packed red blood cells. Honestly, for a patient in the Pitt, Skylar had been tempted to label him easy. The patient of course had proven her wrong as he spiraled into a paranoia riddled psychotic break. The worst case of sun-downing Skylar had seen in a while. She had been the first to rush in and try to calm him down. He rewarded her by clawing and tearing at his IV until it burst and soaked her in the unit he was supposed to be receiving.

Still, by Pitt standards, she couldn’t complain.

A bit of vitamin H and the patient was calm, collected, and completely out cold.

The locker room door opened as Skylar moved back to her locker for fresh clothes. She glanced over her shoulder to see her favorite charge nurse smirking in her direction.

“You look too amused for someone wrapping up on their 12-hour shift.” Skylar called.

“Watching you get doused by the sprinkler Mr. Andie’s IV turned into was an experience.” Dana chuckled. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. “After yesterday and today, we’re gonna have to start calling you Whitaker.”

Yesterday’s scrubs had been ruined by projectile vomiting from one of their frequent flier alcoholics. Luckily, that pair had been hospital issued. Skylar shook her head, “Hardly. One scrub change a day doesn’t hold a flame to his record.”

“Want me to grab you a new set?”

“Nah.” Skylar pulled a t-shirt from her locker, raising it to her nose to smell, then pulled it over her head when it passed the sniff test. “I’m heading out so there’s no point.”

Dana’s eyes widened. “You’re heading out?”

“Well,” Skylar shrugged on her bookbag then held out her arms, “it is the end of my shift.”

“Yeah, but it only just ended. I don’t think I’ve worked a shift with you where you haven’t stayed late.”

Skylar shut her locker. “As much as I love y’all, I have places to be.”

“You?” Dana replied with a tone of surprise that Skylar should have found insulting if it wasn’t so accurate. She left the locker room, and the charge nurse tailed her. “Since when did you get a life?”

“It’s a recent development.”

“Where do you have to be?”

“Is it a nursing thing to be so nosy or a Pitt thing?”

Dana scoffed, “Oh, as if I haven’t heard you residents gossiping around the coffee pot a time or two.” Her smile brightened as she bumped her elbow into Skylar’s side. “Come on. I’ll keep your secret.”

Skylar twisted her lips, biting back a grin, and shook her head. “I…have a date.”

“No!” Dana gasped with a broad grin.

“Well don’t sound so surprised. Jesus.”

They reached the nursing station and Skylar paused to scan the tracking board. A habit. Dana’s hands wrapped around her shoulders and turned her in place away from the ever-filling screen. “Nuh-uh. You’re done. Get out of here before you get dragged into a room. It’s about time one of you doctors gets a damn life.”

Skylar laughed. “I just wanted to make sure the couple patients I handed off are alright before I go—”

“GI bleed in North Five, rib fracture in North Four, and flu complications in Central Eight.” Dana listed off. “I’ll make sure they’re tucked in nice before I go.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Abbot is on tonight. Robby’s giving check out as we speak.” She scolded and ushered Skylar toward the exit. “Get the hell out of here right now.” Distantly, someone called out for ‘Rielly’. A voice that suspiciously sounded like her co-resident Mohan. Dana snapped her fingers and pointed out the door. “Go. I will check on the issue. Make history and be the first resident to leave at the end of their shift.”

“Thank you, Dana.” Skylar sung with a quiet laugh as she obeyed the woman’s instructions. It felt wrong, near illegal, to leave the emergency room when there was still light in the sky. Fading light, but light nonetheless. A small bubble of excitement stirred in her belly. Today had been a solid day. Nothing too crazy or out of control, and now she’d get to clean up and go out for a little fun. The first fun she could claim since she moved here four months ago. Anxiety crawled up her spine, tried to whisper doubts in her ear, but Skylar shook it off best she could and began her trek home.

Today was a good day, and tonight would be a good night.

After checking in on Rielly’s patients, and ensuring the fire Mohan had been calling her for was settled, Dana drifted to where the day and night attending were checking out patients. Abbot and Robby were working down the board. They were a familiar sight to see together. Dana had worked a long time here in the Pitt, thirty-three years not counting the two months she took off after the Pittfest shooting, and her favorite weeks were the Abbot and Robby combo. The two men worked well together, and it was no coincidence their schedules were paired.

“—waiting on surgery to swing by.” Robby hummed.

Abbot scoffed and pulled his stethoscope from his bag to loop around his neck. “Then they’ll keep waiting. No way in hell surgery is swinging down in the middle of the night for them.”

“Unless they crump.”

“And the chances of that?”

Robby leaned back in his seat and scrunched his face in thought. The man, clearly tired, ran a hand over his face in thought then huffed and crossed his arms. “Low, but not impossible. Bleed was off and on today.”

“Fantastic.”

Dana leaned on the nearby desk and at her arrival Abbot glanced over with a non-committal hum of a greeting. She had known him long enough to recognize he still hadn’t had his first energy drink of the day yet.

“I have hand off for rooms North Five, North Four, and Central Eight.”

“You do?” Abbot rose from his seat and rolled his neck. “Why do you have it? Where’s the resident?”

“Those were the last of Rielly’s patients. She checked out to Thompson and me, so if you prefer to get hand off from him…” Dana knew of all the residents Thompson was Abbot’s least favorite. There wasn’t necessarily a solid reason why. The kid 'annoyed the fuck out of him’ was Abbot’s only response.

Abbot groaned, “God, no. Hit me with it.”

“Wait,” Robby chimed in and leaned forward in his seat once more, “Where’s Rielly?”

“She left.”

“She left? At seven?” Robby questioned and even Abbot looked mildly surprised.

“That is when the shift ends.” Dana replied dryly. She knew all her docs had a terrible habit of lingering. She’d criticize them for it more if she knew it wouldn’t have her sounding like a hypocrite. “I wanted to encourage her social life. Someone around here should have one.”

Robby chuckled while Abbot gave a halfhearted nod. He waved for Dana to continue, and she delved into the patients’ histories. They weren’t overly complicated patients and two of the three would probably have a quiet night here and be waiting for Rielly in the morning. Not that she’d say that aloud. Abbot would throw a fit.

It wasn’t until closer to eight that the day team began to trickle out. In fact, the only day physician to still be hanging around was Robby. A fact that did not surprise Dana in the slightest. The man was standing at the nurses’ station, bag on his back, talking about a patient when she approached him.

“You’re done.” She chirped and tugged on his arm.

“Make sure you call them.” Robby called out to the staff he had been speaking to when she successfully pulled him away. He glanced her way as they exited through the ambulance bay. “Today was a good one.”

“It was. Fingers crossed the trend follows for tomorrow.” Dana said. Robby nodded in agreement, and she raised an eyebrow at him. “So, it’s February 19^th.”

“Mhmm.”

“Gonna go to Bruno’s?”

“It’s a tradition at this point.”

“No.” Dana stopped him. They had reached the spot where they’d be going separate ways, and she hated the idea of sending the man off to his after-work plans. “It was an anniversary. One I don’t understand. Why are you celebrating still? Are you punishing yourself?”

Robby chuckled and shook his head, exhaustion drawn across his features, “It’s not a punishment, Dana. If anything, it’s almost a reward. Better than the take-out I usually get.” She furrowed her brow in worry, but he only laughed again. “I’m fine. Go home and get some rest. I’ll see you bright and early.”

Dana grabbed his arm to give it a soft squeeze and the two split in directions. Dana made her way to where her car was parked with the rest of the staff, and she wondered if she should have done more. Offered to grab a drink with him tonight? Knowing Robby, he would’ve turned her down. Dana just wished she could understand his thoughts on this topic. If she understood then maybe, just maybe, she could help him in some way. Her old friend was hardly one for sharing though. She sighed to herself and pictured the glass of red wine waiting for her at home.

Bruno’s wasn’t overly fancy. Skylar appreciated that. A step above casual but a few steps below fine dining. Her thankfulness was dwindling as time passed though. She squirmed in her seat and glanced to the side where she could see her sad, little reflection in the restaurant’s window. Her short, dark hair was curled. A very different look compared to the usual, messy half-bun she’d pull it back in for work. Skylar wished her hair would grow faster—she’d be able to do more with it in scenarios like this. Her dress, a simple black thing, was not new, but this was the first time she had found an opportunity to wear it. Add in the strappy heels and makeup, she hardly recognized herself.

The frown was familiar.

That wasn’t new for her.

Skylar blew out a sigh and checked her phone for what had to be the hundredth time. No missed calls or texts. Only an email from Figs offering a sale on scrubs, as if the universe was mocking her earlier endeavor. It was around the fifteen-minute mark that Skylar knew she was being stood up. The second it dawned on her, she should’ve jumped up and left. Leaving felt like a confirmation of her failure though.

The path from her table to the door was a brief one, she could see the lobby where the host stood, but the idea of others seeing her leave alone left a bitter taste in her mouth. A part of her hoped if she sat here long enough the ground would just swallow her whole or she’d disappear from everyone’s view entirely.

Skylar sighed again and unlocked her phone to delete Hinge. She would take this disaster for what it was: a sign. She wasn’t ready for dating. It was too soon. The new setting, the new job, the new apartment—all of it had lulled her into thinking she could attempt romance.

Well, another lesson learned today.

She spotted her waiter drifting in her peripherals and quickly jumped up before they could circle back to her once more. Skylar wouldn’t survive the pitying look shot her way. After one last sip from her water glass, she pulled on her coat and made a beeline for the door. There was no heart ache that greasy takeout food, sweatpants, and wine couldn’t fix.

Skylar was in the open lobby when she heard a familiar voice. One that placed her right back in the Pitt. Her feet slowed to a stop, and she glanced over to see Dr. Robby talking to the host—starting a to-go order.

“Dr. Robby?” Skylar questioned before she could think through her words. Her mission to sneak out was epically failed when the older physician turned to meet her gaze. Dr. Robby stared at her blankly. His eyebrows furrowed, a wrinkle forming, that she recognized as his ‘stumped’ face. She let out an awkward chuckle and pointed to herself. “Skylar Rielly. I work—”

“Shit, Rielly?” Dr. Robby’s eyes widened as realization finally dawned in the warm color. The host stole his attention for a second but he excused himself and stepped away. Dr. Robby sidestepped a couple that was entering the restaurant and drifted to her. “Were you just about to re-introduce yourself to me?”

Skylar grimaced. “I, well, you didn’t seem to recognize me and I’m still new-ish to the Pitt so—”

“I know who you are, Rielly.” Dr. Robby said firmly, placing emphasis on her name as if to provide proof. His eyes scanned her once more and it was only then that she became hyperaware of the scenario she found herself in. “You just look…Last time I saw you today, you were wrestling with an eighty six year old covered in blood.”

Skylar rubbed the back of her neck with a nod. “Yeah. I figured a place like this might frown upon me showing up in scrubs.” Dr. Robby’s lips twitched into a small smile, and he held a hand up. The man was still wearing his scrubs from the day, hospital endorsed jacket over it. “Blood covered scrubs, I should say.”

Dr. Robby cleared his throat and let his hand fall. “Well, you look nice. I should have started with that. Dana mentioned you had plans. Are you here with friends?”

His eyes glanced over her shoulder for a second and her hand tightened around her purse strap. Skylar squirmed in place and tried to offer a smile she did not feel. “Not really. Uh…” If Dr. Robby was aware of how embarrassed she felt, he didn’t show it. She steeled her nerves. This was just a casual chat between co-workers—less co-workers and more boss and employee seeing that he was her attending actually. Be casual. Be cool. Skylar shrugged, “I was supposed to be meeting a guy for a date, but he ghosted me.”

Her voice squeaked on the word ‘ghosted’ and Dr. Robby’s smile fell. Fuck. His face scrunched up again, that same stumped look, and she wondered what crime she committed in a past life to deserve this awkwardness.

“Ghosted?” Dr. Robby repeated with a slight tilt to his head.

“He stood me up.” She clarified. His features, usually kind and patient, fell into what Skylar could only label as pity. Well, that was enough for her. “Alrighty. So, I should skedaddle.” She cursed the use of such a stupid word—it just fell from her lips in a panic. “I’m fine. Promise. I—I didn’t even know the guy. It was gonna be our first date and I am clearly not ‘dating’ material yet.  It—it wasn’t…” Skylar paused in misery then pointed to the door with a grimace. “I’m going to leave with the last shred of dignity I have left, if you don’t mind. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dr. Robby.”

Skylar turned in place and resisted to urge to actually sprint for the door. With the way her night was going, she’d end up falling and break an ankle. She had only managed a few steps to her escape when Dr. Robby dragged her back into the mess of this conversation.

“Whoa, whoa, hold on.” If he were anyone else, Skylar would’ve pretended she never heard him and left without pause. But, he wasn’t anyone else. He was Dr. Robby, and even though only four months had passed since they met, she was already trained to listen to his voice. Usually though it was calling out orders and medical teaching points. Not forcing her to wallow in shame. “Did you eat yet?”

Skylar dumbly shook her head. Dr. Robby paused for a second. He glanced over his shoulder to the host and when he focused back on her his small smile had returned. Kindness mingling with the pity. “There’s a place around the corner I think you might like. Feel like joining me for dinner?”

“Aren’t you gonna…” Skylar’s voice trailed away as she nodded to the host.

“No, I’m not really craving Italian anymore.” Dr. Robby said. He went to the door and held it open for her. “After you?”

Skylar’s decision-making skills froze up like a medical student on their first day of rotations and all she could bring herself to do was follow along.

 Dr. Robby led her a few blocks from the restaurant to where a small diner sat—a hole in the wall.

“Found this place after I graduated residency.”

Dr. Robby chimed as he pulled this door open as well. The inside was as small and cozy as the outside. Simple with a few booths and a bar to sit at. Only a few others were scattered about. Two waitresses, dressed in yellow uniforms with white aprons, and she spotted a cook moving about through a small window on the back wall. He shrugged out of his hoodie to hang by the door and Skylar was surprised when he reached out to help her shrug out of her own to join it.

“Wow. Your residency?” Skylar asked in surprise.

Dr. Robby chuckled. “I don’t know if I like your tone.”

“Sorry.” Skylar covered her mouth to hide the smile that spilled over.

“Yeah, you seem it.” Dr. Robby grabbed a seat at the bar and Skylar adjusted her dress before taking the spot to his right. “Hey, Maria.” The older of the two waitresses, a woman with graying hair braided out of her face, drifted over with a smile. She greeted him back by name and after a beat of small talk he nodded to the menu. “We’ll just get two burger meals.” He turned to her. “What do you want to drink?” Skylar’s eyes darted to a cooler where a row of beers was stocked. It didn’t seem right to be drinking in front of her attending. She opened her mouth to ask for a coke when Dr. Robby caught her line of vision and finished the order. “Two of whatever you got stocked from Iron City Brewing.”

Skylar laced her fingers together to rest on the diner counter as Maria walked away with their order. “You really didn’t have to do this, Dr. Robby.”

“Just Robby is fine.” He shook his head. “We aren’t around patients.”

“Thank you…Robby.” Skylar felt wrong leaving off the title. “I hope I didn’t interrupt your plans tonight.”

“Not at all.” Robby was leaning onto the counter, mimicking her own position. He ran a hand over his face. His fingers carded through his beard. Maria crackled open two bottles and left them while passing. “I was just grabbing something to-go. It’s a—a tradition of sorts.”

Curiosity had her raising an eyebrow in question. She took a sip of her drink, “Oh? What kind of tradition?”

“Ah.” Robby chuckled. Skylar didn’t realize the question she asked had been a loaded one until she watched him take a long sip from his own bottle. When he finished, he tapped his thumb against the side of the glass. “It’s a long story, and I don’t think it’s one I can tell without sounding pretty pathetic.”

Skylar frowned at his words. “Pathetic? Please. I’m the one who got stood up today.”

“That doesn’t make you pathetic.” Robby met her gaze with a stern look. “Just makes whoever left you waiting an idiot.”

She felt her cheeks warm at the reassurance and glanced down at the counter with a small shrug. “If you wanna talk, I’m happy to listen.” Skylar looked back to him. “It helps. I talked about what happened to me tonight and then my really nice attending took me to get burgers and beer.”

Robby laughed. “Fair point.”

The silence that ensued was surprisingly an easy one. There was no tension between them. Skylar had always admired Dr. Robby. She’d worked with a lot of different attendings, and he was one of the best. Not just medically, but as a teacher and leader. Though she had nothing but admiration for the man, she had worried on the walk here that this encounter would be an awkward one. Eighty percent of the conversations they had thus far had been about medicine or patients. Not because she didn’t particularly like talking to him, the opportunity just rarely arose. The Pitt was a busy place, and Robby was a busier guy.

“It’s my anniversary. Sort of.” Robby finally spoke up. Skylar’s eyebrows scrunched together at the odd statement, but she stayed silent. “I’m not married anymore, but when we were…we’d get dinner there. It was where we had our first date.”

Skylar’s lips fell open, “Oh. Shit. I’m sorry, Robby.”

“I know how that sounds. I’m not in love with her anymore.” Robby shook his head. Skylar shot him a skeptical look and he chuckled. “I’m serious. Janey and I…we have a good relationship now. Probably better than when we were together. That’s not the pathetic part.” Skylar scoffed under her breath at the word he chose again to describe this. “I’m not mourning her. I think… Fuck if I know. Never mind.”

Skylar studied his shoulders—broad but heavy. Every bit of him seemed worn out and exhausted. As a resident, the light at the end of the tunnel was the knowledge that one day there’d be rest. The life of an attending was supposed to be less busy, less stressful, but everything about Robby made that seem like a lie. A fairytale residents whisper in the hopes to make it through those dreaded 36-hour shifts.

“I get it.” She mumbled. Robby didn’t seem to believe her based on his chuckle, but she continued. “No, I think I do. You’re mourning the era. The era of what was.” Unable to hold his gaze which was growing more intense by the second, Skylar took a sip of her beer and settled to stare at the clock on the wall in front of her. “Sometimes, it’s easier to miss what you had than to find something new.”

“Huh.” The simple sound drew her attention to find he was studying the bottle in his hand. “I guess that’s it.” Robby motioned toward her. “You were a psych major, right?”

Skylar’s eyes widened. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“The residency wanted to fill the hole in my department with a transfer from a Family Medicine Residency.” Robby chuckled. “Needless to say, I gave your resume a good once over.”

“My previous residency was heavy on IM rotations. I spent more time as a hospitalist than I did anything else. Even had a few rotations in the ED there—”

Robby shook his head. “I didn’t doubt that. I saw their curriculum. I was just trying to puzzle out why someone who matched in FM would want to suddenly change into Emergency Medicine. You had to start over your second year. That’s no small feat.”

“What’s one extra year?”

“Two.” Robby corrected. Skylar locked her jaw. “Your residency was a three-year program. Our EM program is four.”

She lifted the bottle to drink. It bought her time to think of a response. There was no shortage of reasons for why Skylar left Texas to come to Pennsylvania. Why she left Family Medicine to pursue Emergency Medicine. Why she was willing to add two years to the prison sentence that was residency. Unfortunately, not a single one of them was something she was keen on sharing over a singular beer.

“Just reassessed my life. Realized I’d rather get bled and puked on in an ER than work in an office.”

“Because why wouldn’t you?” Robby quipped. “Our lifestyle is a lavish one.”

Maria returned with two plates and Skylar shot the woman a grin and simple thanks. The burger was a mess of cheese and grease, and it was exactly what she craved. She didn’t hesitate to take a bite and a quiet moan slipped from her at the taste.

“Good?” Robby tossed back a fry.

“Perfect.” Skylar sighed. She took another bite and swallowed it before looking his way. “How did you know I’d like this? What if I was a vegetarian?”

Robby grabbed a handful of napkins down the bar to his left and held them out as an offering. “Heard you talking to McKay a few weeks back about where to get the best burgers and you both were missing this place on your list.”

“Well, this place has officially taken it’s deserved spot as number two on my list.”

“Number two?”

“There’s a burger place in Alabama where I grew up that had the best burgers in the world.”

Robby scoffed, “Come on. That’s out of state. Doesn’t count.”

“This is my list,” Skylar laughed, “I think I get to make up the rules.”

The conversation stayed on the lighter side as they ate. Skylar hadn’t expected this to be where her night led her, but this was better than sulking at home alone. Hell, it might have been better than her date would’ve been. The guy she matched with seemed nice enough but her main reasoning for agreeing to meet him had just been to ‘get on the horse’ again in a manner of speaking.

“How did you plan on getting home?” Robby asked.

“I was gonna walk. I don’t live far from where the restaurant was.” Skylar unzipped her purse to find her wallet, but Robby was quick to hand over his card to Maria when she came by. Promptly sending her away with only his own. “Robby.” She scoffed. “You can’t be serious. This is too much. I already commandeered your night. I can at least pay.”

“First, you didn’t commandeer my night. I invited you out. I should be thanking you for keeping me company.” Robby replied with smirk she hadn’t seen him wear in the Pitt yet. Skylar rolled her eyes in response—something she definitely wouldn’t do in the Pitt. “Second, I remember what a resident’s pay looks like. Dinner is on me.”

Skylar couldn’t bite back her smile this time. The last attending she worked with before coming here had been a nightmare. One of those many reasons she didn’t want to talk about. Tonight was even more proof that moving here had been for the best.

“Thank you.” She said. “I really appreciate this.”

“My pleasure. And save your good-byes.” Robby took back his card from Maria and signed the check before turning back to her. “I’m walking you home. I live local too.”

“Robby—”

“Don’t.” He went to the door to grab the jackets and just as he helped her shrug it on, Robby held her coat out to slip back in. “I’m not letting you walk the streets alone this late. We only just filled the hole in the Pitt, and we got lucky with you.” Robby tucked his hands into his jacket pockets as they walked. “I don’t have any desire to find someone new.”

The walk home wasn’t too far, but by time she got a block away from her apartment building the cold air really started to nip at her legs and Skylar’s feet began to ache. It had been too long since she spent this much time in heels. 

When Skylar’s building was in view she cleared her throat. “Thank you again, Dr. Robby.”

“Told you just Robby is fine.”

She chuckled and pressed on. “I just…this means a lot. I probably would’ve been fine if I went home, but this was nice.”

“I’m confident you would have been fine on your own.” Robby replied. She slowed to a stop in front of her building. “But here with the Pitt, we rely on one another. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help.”

Skylar let out a soft laugh. “How often do you follow that advice?”

“Do as I say, not as I do.” Robby argued.

“Ah,” She began to walk up the stairs, “The physician motto. Learned side by side with the Hippocratic oath.” Skylar fished her keys out from her purse and paused at the door. “Good night, Dr. Robby. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Dr. Rielly.”

Skylar slipped into her building and when she was out of view from her attending, she slipped out of her heels and began to trek up to her apartment. With a hum, she confirmed to herself that today had been a good day.

Here’s to hoping she had a few more of those.

Robby had a system in place to determine how bad night shift had gone. It was a numerical rating based on how deep the scowl on Abbot’s face was and how many empty energy drinks he found stacked up at their station. The worst nights were when the scowl couldn’t immediately be found, and he had to hike up to the roof just to find his partner in crime.

Luckily, this morning, he spotted the physician the second he walked in. Abbot was at their station, glasses on, as he glared at his computer screen. The scowl was a solid four. He could work with a four.

“Morning, brother.” Robby greeted. Abbot grunted in response. One he translated as ‘give me five minutes to finish this note then come back for check out’. Eyes on the tracking board, Robby scanned curiously while walking around the nurses’ station where he found Dana. “Morning.”

“Good morning.” Dana raised an eyebrow at him, and Robby automatically knew he was going to get grilled. She lifted her coffee cup, clearly not from the hospital, to her lips before diving in. “How was your night?”

“It was fine.”

“Really?”

“Really, Dana.”

“You spent it alone at home eating takeout from Bruno’s?”

“Yupp.”

Dana hummed to herself before using her free hand to pick up a second coffee cup that she set on the counter in front of him. Robby shook his head slowly while Dana just stared at him. He was beginning to recognize amusement in her eyes, and it was making him nervous. Noting scribbling, Robby put on his glasses and picked up the cup to read it. The words ‘thank you’ with an exclamation mark and smiley face was decorated on the side.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“Oh, absolutely nothing.” Dana replied with a snort. She pointed to the cup. “That is from Dr. Rielly.” Robby felt his spine go stiff and he automatically locked his jaw. “She brought me a cup to thank me for helping her out of the ED yesterday and brought you that cup for last night.”

It was 6:47 AM and Robby was already tired.

“She had to run off to get check out from the night residents, but she left your cup with me to pass off to you.” Dana said. “Wanted me to let you know that she really appreciated last night. Want to explain what that means? Because I was picturing you wallowing at home neck deep in pasta.”

“It was nothing like what you’re thinking.” Robby pulled his glasses off and stuffed them into his scrub top pocket for later. “I ran into her at Bruno’s.”

“Yeah, she had a date.”

Robby shook his head. “He stood her up.” Dana’s face fell and he knew she’d be chasing Rielly down later to check in on the woman. She was good like that. “So, I took her over to the diner on 4th for some burgers. That’s all.”

“Good.” Dana sighed. “I’m glad you were there. I hate the thought of her getting stood up like that.”

“Yeah, me too.” Robby scooped up the cup. “I’m gonna go check out with Abbot.”

As he walked, he took a cautious sip of the coffee, but it had cooled enough to be a comfortable drinking temperature. Wherever she had gone for the drink, they had good quality beans. Then again, everything tasted good in comparison to what they made in the lounge. When he got to his station, Abbot was ready for him.

“Dana get you the good stuff?” He nodded to Robby’s cup.

“Yeah.” He lied. “How’d last night go?”

“Patient in South Three crumped like an hour after you left. Low risk, my ass.” Abbot replied before diving into the handout.

Robby nodded along as he listened, but a flash of light green scrubs caught his eye. It stood out from the usual shades of maroon, navy, and black.

Dr. Skylar Rielly had walked up to the other side of the nurses’ station and now leaned against it taking report from a night resident. After her last patient yesterday, he would’ve thought she’d learn not to jinx herself by wearing the more expensive, colorful scrub sets. He didn’t fully blame her though. The joggers and half zip hoodie combo she wore was probably leagues more comfortable than the scratchy, cheap ones the hospital provided.

He took in her details before he even fully realized what he was doing. Black stethoscope around her neck, yellow clip pulling back her short black hair, badge hanging from her waistband, and all the makeup she had on last night was gone. This was the resident he had come to know.

This was the resident that haunted him.

Robby couldn’t put his finger on it. Ever since she showed up four months ago to take up the hole Langdon left behind when he went to rehab, he had watched her. To a degree that made him uncomfortable to admit. His eyes had a bad habit of finding her in the halls. It was the mystery. That’s what he had convinced himself of, at least. In four months, nobody knew much about the resident. She had come from a Family Medicine background, her last job had been in Texas but she wasn’t from there originally, she was half Korean, she liked a good burger, and she was good at her fucking job. All learned secondhand, never something she willingly offered.

“Hey,” Abbot snapped, and his eyes focused back, “Where the hell are you at, brother?”

“I’m here.” Robby argued and shook his head. Over Abbot’s head, he watched as Rielly laughed while folding up her notes to stick into her back pocket. He cleared his throat and motioned to his friend. “Hit me again. I’m here.”

Chapter Text

"Pride will always have its consequence. Humility will always have its reward."

Thompson was a good guy. Skylar liked him. Was he the kind of person she would’ve guessed had an interest in EM? No. His chipper demeanor and constant smile reminded her of a Disney character. Thompson was the embodiment of walking, talking sunshine, and she was in awe that he was surviving his night shift rotation with Abbot.

“And can you make sure the lady in central two gets breakfast?” Thompson paused then waved his hand. “Actually, you know what? Don’t worry about it. I’m going to swing through the cafeteria and grab her stuff before I go home.”

Hand off being finished between the two, Skylar was folding up her notes to slide into her back pocket for safe keeping. “You sure?” Thompson nodded in the affirmative as he began to pack up his belongings from the area. His blond hair was a bit tussled, but he otherwise looked energized and happy. Not a shred of exhaustion in his large, blue eyes. “Hey, Thompson, did you always wanna go into EM?”

“Hm, not always. I actually was going to go into Peds at first.”

There it was.

“But, my rotation right before ERAS opened was EM and I just really fell in love with it.” Thompson grinned. “And I don’t regret it a bit. The Pitt has been awesome. I’m kind of hoping I get to stay here—I mean, I know I’m only an intern so that's probably getting ahead of myself.”

Skylar shook her head. “Won't be an intern forever. Residency has the longest days and the shortest years.”

He rose and slipped his messenger bag over his shoulders, “I just really like it here. Plus, I think Abbot is starting to warm up to me.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh.” As he came around the nurses’ station, she dropped down into the seat he had occupied to badge into the system. “Last night, he only yelled at me like three times.” Thompson held up a finger. “Wait, four, but still. That’s way less than when we started together a few weeks back.”

Skylar grinned, “On your way to being besties, it sounds like.”

Thompson began to leave but backpedaled, “Hey, did you want something from the cafeteria while I’m there?”

“I swung through and grabbed coffee on my way here this morning.” Skylar replied. The lack of evidence was because she managed to chug it before leaving the locker room.

“You sure?”

“I am. Get out of here, man.”

Thompson gave her a wave on his way out and she focused in on her pre-charting. She had about ten minutes to check in on all the patients she was picking up before she needed to start scooping up the new ones being checked in.

Skylar was midway through when a familiar figure settled in beside her. Collins’ hip leaned against the counter as the woman smiled in greeting. “Morning.”

“Hey, Collins. What’s up?”

Typically, the senior resident stayed so busy, even before the official start of shift, that Skylar didn’t see the dark skinned woman until they started morning rounds together.

“Do you like tempting fate?” Collins asked. Skylar paused in her pre-charting to meet the resident’s amused gaze. “Because I love the color of your scrubs, but I swear it’s like you buy the easiest to stain colors on purpose.”

Skylar glanced down at her light green ensemble then motioned to the cropped, black hoodie she wore over it. “That’s what the hoodie is for. To catch the worst of it.” Collins raised an eyebrow. Skylar chuckled in response and pulled up her sleeves. “I just hate those stupid hospital scrubs. I have to roll them up at the waist like three times just to keep from tripping over myself.”

“You could buy darker scrubs that fit you.”

“If I’m spending my hard earned money on scrubs, I may as well get the cute color I like.” She argued and scanned her last patient’s chart before badging out and standing up. Collins straightened in posture. “We rounding early or something?”

Collins shook her head. “No. Still 7:05. I just need a favor.”

“Name it, boss.”

“I need you to supervise Santos today.”

“Seriously?” Skylar crossed her arms. She didn’t mind supervising. The teaching aspect of the job was always one of her favorites, but in this program only the third- and fourth-year residents supervised. As a second year, Skylar had supervised Whitaker and Javadi before but that was different. They were medical students. “I didn’t think I was allowed.”

Collins tilted her head, motioning for her to follow, and Skylar grabbed her pen off the counter to clip to her hoodie’s collar before walking with her upper. “Usually, no. But, you’re not a normal second year. This is technically your third year in medicine.”

“What about Mohan?” Skylar twisted her lips in worry. She didn't want to step on the toes of the actual third year working days.

"Mohan will supervise her too. We thought about having you guys swap days." Collins explained, but she still felt skeptical. “If you had done a more outpatient focused FM residency, we wouldn’t even consider it, but you clearly have the experience which means you and Mohan can split the responsibility.” Collins argued. “Robby agrees.” Skylar’s eyes widened at this. “As long as you’re comfortable with it, it’s fine.”

 Skylar nodded once. “Sure then. I don’t mind.”

“Thank you.” Collins settled a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “It’s been a lot trying to supervise everyone while carrying my own load.”

Skylar offered her a quick smile. Collins left her, and Skylar focused on scanning the tracking board. Right now, Heather Collins was the only senior resident in the Pitt. Skylar knew the gist of why that was. The only reason she was able to transfer into the program was because they had lost a resident. Nobody had outright explained to her the situation, but she knew the previous senior resident, Dr. Langdon, was in rehab. Skylar also knew Santos was involved.

“Alright, let’s gather up.” Robby’s commanding voice called out.

Skylar tore her gaze from the tracking board to drift closer to where he stood on the other side of the nurses’ station. Others began to flock to him as well.

“Morning, Dr. Rielly.” Mel greeted as she passed. She wore a black long sleeve shirt tucked into a pair of scrub pants and her blonde hair was braided back.

“Hey, Mel.” Skylar chuckled. “You don’t have to call me that, you know? Just Rielly is fine. Or Skylar. Or Sky.” She shrugged. “You could even just call me ‘hey, you’. I answer to just about anything.”

Mel looked aghast and shook her head rapidly. “I would never just shout ‘hey, you’ to get your attention.”

“Let’s start with North 1 and work down the list.” Robby announced as he led the pack of residents, medical students, and nursing to the room. Kiara usually would round as well but Skylar didn’t spot her. She wouldn’t be surprised if the social worker was already off and putting out fires. “Who’s got them?”

Rounds went smoothly and uninterrupted—a rarity in the Pitt. As they reached their last patient, Hallway Bed 4, Santos saddled up beside Skylar with a smirk.

“Collins told me I’m with you today.”

“Yeah. You only have the three overnight patients in Central 10, Central 11, and South 16, right?” Skylar asked, though she already knew. Those were the three patients Santos presented and Skylar had already jotted down everything Robby and the intern discussed so she could keep up with the patients through the day.

Santos nodded. “That’s it. Pretty lame cases. But, hey, I wanted to let you know that I’m really interested in procedures so that’s kind of been my focus.” Skylar heard her name called by Robby off to the side. “So, if you spot anything cool—”

“Sure, we’ll see how the day goes.” Skylar pointed back to the nurses’ station. “Grab the next two available patients off the board to get started with.” She recalled Collins had been capping the intern at around five to six patients at a time. Med students got three. Granted those rules applied only when things stayed sane. “I’ll meet up with you to check in.”

“Got it.” Santos turned on her heel and left.

Skylar turned her focus to her attending who was already halfway to her. Robby had his hands tucked into his jacket pockets as they met. He nodded once and, as if the motion reminded him, Robby yanked the glasses off his face to tuck away. “Wanted to talk to you. You got a minute?”

“Of course.”

“Come on.” Robby led them in the direction of the main nurses’ station as he spoke. “Saw you talking to Santos just now. I assume Collins explained the situation.”

“Yes, sir.” Skylar replied. “I know I’m supervising her today.”

Robby paused when they reached the station and turned his entire body to face her. His arms crossed and a look of mild concern flittered across his features. “I don’t want to overwork you or stress you out with this. We usually only have second years supervising med students, but I know you’re capable of handling this and Collins needs the help. I’ve tried to pick up more where I can but I don’t want teaching to fall through the cracks because of this. Now, if you—”

“I’m okay.” Skylar said quickly. Robby raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled. “Really. I’ve supervised interns before in my old program. I won’t take on more than I can handle, and if I start drowning, I’ll call out for a lifesaver. Yeah?”

Robby chuckled. “Yes. Please do just that.” He glanced over his shoulder once. “And, she’s been doing somewhat better about it, but Santos has a bad habit of placing orders without senior confirmation. Just watch out for that, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Jesus, Rielly.” Robby blew out a breath. “You keep up with this ‘sir’ thing, and I’m going to start feeling ancient.”

Skylar chuckled. “Sorry, sir.” Robby shot her a bewildered look and she covered her mouth with a grimace. “That was a total accident. It’s just a habit. A sign of respect, not a comment on age. If it helps, I call Abbot ‘sir’ too.”

“No, that doesn’t. He’s old.” Robby replied. Skylar laughed in response and enjoyed the fact that she could do this at all. She’d never take for granted the comfortable setting Robby created for residents to practice and learn. “And, thank you. For the coffee, I mean. That wasn’t necessary.”

Skylar heard Perlah calling out for her and pulled her notes from her back pocket while taking a step away. “It was no trouble. I run through that place every morning. I knew Dana liked their jasmine tea, I’ve gotten it for her before, and I just kind of assumed you were a boring, plain drip coffee kind of guy.”

“So, I’m old, plain, and boring.” Robby rubbed the back of his head. “Thank you for that.”

Skylar held her hands up in surrender. “You’re really painting me into a corner here, Dr. Robby.”

“Yeah, yeah, go save some lives.”

“Yes, sir.” Skylar quipped back in amusement.

Samira Mohan felt like she had, mostly, found her footing in the Pitt. Working as a third year was infinitely better than being intern but worse than a second year, but she liked to think she was finding her groove. There was some that thought her groove was a bit too slow, but she liked to be thorough. It was a little bit ‘fear of missing something’ and ‘desire to know her patients’. A combination that she understood could be a detriment in a fast moving place like the Pitt. Still, she had a balance that Dr. Robby wasn’t scolding her daily for anymore and her nickname of ‘Slo-Mo’ wasn’t heard nearly as often.

That always changed when she was working triage.

Mohan hated the waiting room.

It was the worst collection of all her fears. Working triage, there was no time to do anything more than take a glance and give staff a number. If that number was wrong because she missed something critical then that patient would get sent back to the waiting room to crash and the thought made her blood run cold.

“Dr. Mohan?”

She looked away from the wound she was quickly bandaging to see Whitaker motioning over. Mohan scanned the room to find Mateo and pointed to her patient to let him know they could go back to the waiting area. She hurried over to Whitaker who looked panicked and perplexed, but she had known him long enough to recognize that tended to be his baseline.

“This patient is a thirty-eight-year-old female, no major history, but she’s presenting with chest pain and left arm pain.” Whitaker nodded toward where his patient sat on a triage bed with her toddler resting in her lap. “I mean, she seems mostly stable, but her EKG showed changes—”

“Show me.” Mohan nodded.

Whitaker dragged the COW over to pull up the woman’s chart and loaded the EKG. Mohan scanned the lines as he spoke. “I mean, that’s—those are ST elevations, aren’t they??”

Mohan took note of the elevations he saw and nodded. “What else do you see?”

“What?”

“The ST elevations are widespread, not localized, and if this were a cardiac injury or event what else would you see?”

Whitaker squinted at the EKG and after a beat his eyes widened. “Reciprocal ST depression. I don’t see any.”

“Right. And you see here?” Mohan pointed to the J-Point. “See how there is notching?” He nodded. “I think this is just Benign Early Repolarization. You said she’s under fifty?”

“She is. I’ve never heard of that before. Benign…”

“BER. Benign Early Repolarization. It’s seen in some patients under fifty and it’s harmless. Also, did you check any of her previous EKGs?” She asked. Whitaker shook his head, and she took control of the mouse to dig further into the chart. “Anytime you’re worried about an abnormal EKG, look at any past ones they might have. It can show if the problem is chronic for them. See?” There was an EKG from seven months ago when she was in the hospital giving birth. “She has it here too.”

Whitaker glanced past the screen to the patient. “What about her chest pain? And the pain in her arm?”

Mohan smiled and went around the COW to greet the red haired woman. “Hi, Ms. Yetten?” The woman nodded. “My name is Dr. Mohan, I know you’ve talked to student doctor Whitaker already. Do you mind if I do a quick physical exam?”

“Go ahead.”

All heart sounds and lung sounds were normal on auscultation and when Mohan was appeased by that she began to palpate over the woman’s sternum. Ms. Yetten winced as she did. “That hurts when I press?”

“Yeah, pretty bad.”

Mohan turned to Whitaker. “Reproducible chest pain is always a good sign. If you can cause the pain they’re feeling by pressing, that means it’s probably more MSK related.” She looked back to the patient. “Good news, Ms. Yetten. Your EKG looked good, and your pain makes me think this is probably costochondritis.” Mohan could audibly hear Whitaker breath out a sigh of relief at the diagnosis. “That’s why it hurts when I press.”

“It hurts when I take a deep breath too though.” She replied, worry clear in her tone. “Is that okay?”

“Yes. Costochondritis is just an inflammation of the cartilage that connects your ribs to your sternum. We see it a lot in new moms from carrying around your baby—especially as they get older and heavier. I’m guessing you’re right-handed so you end up holding your daughter in your left arm while you work?”

Ms. Yetten laughed in relief. “Yeah, that’s—that’s right.”

“Everything is going to be okay. Give us a minute. We’ll get you in line for a chest x-ray, just to be cautious, and we can get you prescribed some pain meds to take home in the meantime.”

“Thank you, Dr. Mohan.”

Mohan nodded for Whitaker to follow her back to the COW and motioned for him to start placing orders. He let out another sigh of relief. “Man, I really thought she was having an MI or something.”

“That’s okay. You always want to consider the worst-case scenario first and rule that out. It’s better to think someone is having an MI and work it up further than just assume they’re not and miss it. That’s why we make a differential with the fatal diagnoses at the top.”

“Right. I just feel like an idiot.” Whitaker sighed. “Like two weeks ago, Dr. Rielly was just talking to me about costochondritis, and I totally blanked.”

Mohan hummed to herself then after a beat added, “Do you like working with Dr. Rielly?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, she’s been great.” Whitaker nodded.

Mohan liked Rielly, there really wasn’t anything to not like, but it was bittersweet. She missed having Langdon around the Pitt. He had been her senior for two years so to suddenly have his presence be missing…it felt wrong. Mohan understood the situation though. She understood he was where he needed to be right now.

Rielly was a good fit into the Pitt dynamic, but she hadn’t expected the newest resident to fill the supervising role. Mohan saw Santos get placed under her wing. Just like her missing Langdon, that knowledge was also bittersweet. She was upset that Rielly got chosen to supervise an intern over her. Mohan understood Rielly was technically in her third year of residency and only acted as an PGY2 because of her transfer. That helped some. It made her wonder, worry, if she wasn’t meeting the standards she needed to. Were Collins and Dr. Robby still unimpressed by her speed? She really had been trying to make a difference, and after the Pittfest shooting she believed she had improved significantly. Did they not trust her?

All that aside, Mohan could not be more relieved she wasn’t asked to supervise Santos. When she worked with a medical student, she still had control over the situation. Whitaker and Javadi couldn’t place an order without her knowledge and approval. Their lack of a doctorate prevented it. However, Santos had full access to the entire EHR, and the intern had showed she wasn’t afraid to use it.

Mohan wished Rielly only the best today.

The Hippocratic oath that Skylar took at her graduation made her promise to ‘do no harm’, but she was of the firm belief that an asterisk should exist over the statement. A loophole, of sorts. For example, she should be allowed to murder a fellow resident if that fellow resident was a hospitalist who was refusing to take an admission because they were too lazy to come down and see them. That seemed fair in her eyes.

“Look, half the job is done.” Skylar breathed into the phone and tried to control her bubbling temper. “The patient in Central Eight—”

“Is a Flu patient.” The resident on the other end, and the current bane of her existence scoffed. “Tank them up with fluids and tell them to go home and sleep.”

“She is a seventy-eight-year-old with COPD who has not responded to fluids yesterday or overnight. She needs to stay for observation. I’m worried she has a secondary pneumonia forming and could—”

“Then keep her down there if you just need to watch her!”

“Jackson—”

“That’s Dr. Jackson.” He corrected.

Skylar locked her jaw and mentally counted to five. Jackson was a fucking internal medicine third year who worked upstairs, and she was half a second away from storming the medicine floor to rip his head off.

“Dr. Jackson,” She spat the name out, “She’s gonna stay down here regardless as a boarder, but I need the hospitalist team to admit her officially so she can get proper care and management. I checked your list. The beds might not be available, but your team has openings right now.”

“And those openings are for patients who need care, not for patients that the ER doesn’t feel like looking after because they’re being lazy. Call back when you have a real case.”

“Lazy—?!” Skylar’s outrage was cut short when Jackson ended the call.

She slammed the landline back down making Princess and Perlah, who had been talking nearby, startle. Skylar mumbled a quick apology before making her way back to her self-declared station. It would be the first time since before rounds that she’d get to sit down and chart. As she dropped into her seat, she noticed a banana and bottled iced coffee from the cafeteria sitting on the counter with a sticky note that read ‘clean up the board before I come back!’.

“God bless you, Thompson.” Skylar mumbled and grabbed the iced coffee. She was two gulps down when Santos came up to her.

“Hey, I wanted to let you know I consulted surgery for my guy in Central Ten.” Santos started, and Skylar choked on her coffee. “You good?”

Skylar cleared the coffee from her lungs and shook her head. “Central Ten? Wasn’t the plan this morning to discharge him at lunch with antibiotics if he could tolerate a meal?”

“Yeah, it was, but his pain worsened. He’ll probably need surgical treatment of the appendicitis not medical. I talked to Dr. Garcia, and she told me to order a CT abdomen so I’m waiting for that.”

Santos wasn’t wrong. It was the exact right move, but she was lucky Garcia had a soft spot for the intern. Any other surgical resident would’ve reamed an intern for calling without having the CT resulted. Something Skylar would’ve confirmed for Santos to order if she had just come to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I am telling you.” Santos shrugged.

“This doesn’t count as—” Skylar’s words fell away when she noticed Dana speeding past. “Dana!” The charge nurse slowed and caught her gaze. “Where can I get Dr. Herrera’s number? I need to talk to her about a patient.”

Dana grinned. “Great news, she’s down here right now. Come with me and I’ll get you face to face.”

Skylar jumped up, badging out in the process, and pointed to Santos. “This isn’t done. When I get back, I want you to check out your patients to me.”

She didn’t wait for a response and jogged after Dana. Dr. Herrera was one of the internal medicine attendings. More specifically she was the attending overseeing Jackson’s team today. Skylar was fully aware of the hospitalist hierarchy. She worked that job plenty herself. ER contacts the upper resident with the phone and that resident hands out admissions to the other residents on the team. Skylar was about to cut out the middleman by going straight to the attending and she knew it would piss of Jackson.

“How’re you?” Dana asked.

“Fine. I’m probably gonna murder another resident—”

“Santos?”

“No. Jury’s still out on her.” Skylar replied. “I’m gonna kill Jackson.”

Dana tilted her head as they walked. “The IM third year?”

“Yeah, you’re not too attached to him, are you?”

“Please. He’s a little weasel. Feel free. Out of curiosity, why are you killing him?”

“He’s turned down my admit in Central Eight three times now.”

“Seems fitting then.” Dana slowed her pace just a step, and Skylar shot her a curious look. “Although, when I asked how you were, I meant about your date.”

Skylar recognized the worry in the charge nurse’s voice and chuckled. “You talked to Dr. Robby.” Dana only continued to stare. “I am fine. I didn’t even know the guy so it’s not like I’m beat up about some broken relationship. We only ever chatted over a dating app.”

“Still. I’m here if you wanna talk.”

“Right now, I need to talk to Dr. Herrera.”

Dana smiled and pointed toward north wing before peeling away on her own errand. Skylar anxiously tugged on the stethoscope around her neck as she sought out the physician she had only seen in passing. The woman, probably only a few years older than her, stood in front of North Two talking to Robby—assumedly about the patient.

She was dressed professionally with her white coat over the ensemble of khaki pants and a pretty blouse. Her dark red hair was tied back into an elegant ponytail.

“Dr. Herrera?” Skylar interrupted. Both attendings turned to look at her in degrees of curiosity. “I am so sorry to interrupt.”

“Don’t be. We were nearly done. Herrera, this is Dr. Rielly. She’s my newest resident.” Robby introduced.

Dr. Herrera nodded. “Ah. I’ve heard good things, Dr. Rielly.”

The comment worsened her anxiety because she wasn’t aware anyone would be chatting about her to a degree where attendings would hear. Skylar pasted a friendly smile on her face despite it all. “I just wanted to touch base. I called your team this morning for an admit, but they haven’t been around to see my patient yet.”

“Oh?” Dr. Herrera’s eyebrows furrowed. “Who is the patient?”

“Central Eight.” Skylar answered and she spotted recognition dawning on Robby’s face. Before either attending could cut in, Skylar shook her head. “I know you guys are slammed upstairs so I’m sure it probably just got lost in communication. But since I heard you were down here seeing the other admits from overnight, I figured I’d check in.”

Dr. Herrera nodded, “Well, thank you for that. Can you tell me about them?”

“Seventy-eight-year-old female with a history of COPD and A.Fib who presented yesterday morning with dyspnea and fever. She tested positive for Flu A with us. Hasn’t responded to fluids and she’s on oxygen now. Obviously, we’re worried about a secondary pneumonia forming on top of the viral illness.”

“Right. And no one from my team has been down to see her yet?” Dr. Herrera demanded.

“No, ma’am. Not that I’ve seen at least!” Skylar shrugged. “Maybe someone snuck down, I missed them, and they just haven’t placed orders yet…”

Dr. Herrera was pulling out her phone to send a text and shot her a reassuring smile. “Thank you, Dr. Rielly. I’ll get one of my interns down to start admission orders.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Skylar watched the text turn to a call and the attending gave her and Robby a small wave before walking out of north wing. It was a dirty move on her part, but Skylar could have been meaner. She could have thrown Jackson under the bus entirely, but instead she put the ball in his court. Either he could lie and say it got lost in communication or tell the truth and admit to his attending that he turned down a proper admission. Either way, Central Eight was cared for.

“I feel a little better now.” Robby chimed. “You called Herrera ‘ma’am’ and she’s clearly not old.”

Skylar laughed, “I told you. It’s respect, not age.”

“But I’m still plain and boring,” Robby huffed. Skylar resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He tilted his head in the direction of Central. “Everything okay with that? I need to check in?”

“Nope.” Skylar chirped and began to leave so she could find Santos. “Hospitalist team is on board. Central Eight is off our list.”

“Good girl.”

Skylar thanked every deity in existence that her back was already to Robby when he offered the praise. She knew it was purely approval for her patient care, but it made her cheeks burn as heat rose up the back of her neck. Skylar cleared her throat and shook her head as she entered the main portion of the Pitt again. Her eyes scanned for Santos and found the intern hovering near the ambulance bay doors.

“Santos.” Skylar called and waved her over to the nurses’ station where she stopped.

Santos wilted and did a double take with the bay doors before rushing over. “They just called for a pedestrian versus motor vehicle over the line, it’s two minutes out—”

“Check out your patients to me.”

“South Two was a sixty-two-year-old female with syncope, I ordered fluids for her and put her on a heart monitor. South Three—”

Skylar shook her head. “That wasn’t a check out. That was a hit and run of a blurb, and it’s not what I asked for.” She crossed her arms. “Start from the top. I want a full check out, Santos.”

Santos sighed and began to rattle more in-depth details of the patient in South Two. It was clear she had taken a history and knew the patient. When she wrapped up with her history and exam, Skylar nodded for her to continue. “Alright, the differential?” Just at that moment, the bay doors opened as EMTs rushed in a stretcher with a young man—bringing the Pitt to life. Santos took a step toward them, and Skylar snapped. “Santos. The differential.”

“It’s just syncope. So far, her heart monitor has been normal, it’s probably just dehydration.” Santos groaned. “I want to see—”

“That’s not your patient.” Skylar sidestepped back into Santos’ view just as McKay, Robby, and Javadi locked in on the new arrival and rushed to Trauma One. “Right now, your patient is the sixty-two-year-old woman in South Two.”

“Come on, I’ve seen dozens of syncope work ups.” Santos argued. “It’s boring.”

“I don’t care if you think it’s boring. It’s the job.” Skylar said firmly. “Yeah, you’re gonna see a handful of really exciting cases come through those doors every day, but guess what? You’re also going to see hundreds of boring syncopes and hundreds of boring strokes and hundreds of boring cardiac events. Bread and butter cases that you could treat in your sleep you’ve done it so many times. But that boring case for you? That’s potentially the worst day of that patient’s life. And you don’t get to half ass their case because it’s not entertaining to you.”

Santos had the decency to look mildly admonished.

“Focus on your own patients.” Skylar finished. “Now, did you ask the patient in South Two about any neurological history? Seizures?”

“No,” Santos shook her head, “But there was no history of it in the chart and she’s not seeing a neurologist—”

“Go ask her about it, and we can grab the next trauma that rolls through the doors. Alright?”

“Yeah.” Santos sighed and wandered off.

Skylar rubbed her forehead and made plans to seek out her bottle of iced coffee when clapping interrupted her thought process. She turned to see Mel at a nearby computer and with a quizzical look the resident stopped her actions.

“Wait, I’m—I’m not clapping because you yelled at Santos, promise.” Mel shook her head and held up her hands. “It was more—I just really like what you said about the boring cases still being important because every patient is important.”

“Oh, thank you.” Skylar hummed. “I think sometimes it’s easy to forget when you get sucked into the high of running around fixing traumas.”

Mel nodded in agreement with a smile that brightened all her features. “Definitely. You know you’re really good at that.” Skylar tried to connect the dots to what she meant, but Mel didn’t leave her hanging. “Talking. I’ve noticed. You’re really good at communicating.”

“Well, I do my best.” Skylar blushed at the blatant praise. “I had a good teacher at my last residency.”

They hadn’t all been a nightmare.

“Your…” Mel tilted her head curiously. “Your last residency? You’re a transfer?”

“You didn’t know?” Skylar was surprised to hear it. She knew she didn’t talk about it often, but she also knew the rumor mill wasn’t entirely wrong and news traveled quick in the Pitt. “I thought most people had heard by this point.”

“No, sorry, I didn’t know. What made you want to transfer?”

“That…is a long story. For another day.” Skylar smiled and rapped her knuckles against the counter between them. “I gotta go. But let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Right. Yeah. Thank you.” Mel nodded.

Skylar had already cared for and discharged a handful of patients this morning, but there was still more to do. There was always more to do. She had about an hour before afternoon rounds to take care of all that needed to be done and that was assuming that hour wasn’t interrupted by an incoming trauma or crashing patient.

“Need some help over here!” She heard Princess yell from across the room, and Skylar sighed before jogging to the scene.

Robby rolled his shoulders and neck trying to rid himself of the tension that built up there, but the movement seemed to only highlight it more. He sighed under his breath while wrapping up the charts he could in the time he had. The moments to do so were always so fleeting.

“Busy morning?” Gloria’s voice called out.

Robby hung his head knowing with that voice only came an argument, and he had no patience right now for a scolding over patient satisfaction scores. He lifted his gaze expecting to see her standing at the counter in front of where he sat but was surprised to see she was elsewhere. The administrator was far enough that he was not on her radar but close enough that he could still hear her clearly.

Gloria, in a white and blue pantsuit that screamed hospital policy police, had stopped next to Rielly who stood at a COW where she worked.

“No more or less than we usually are.” Rielly hadn’t torn her eyes away from her screen as she typed. “How are you Dr. Underwood?”

“I’m well. I assume you’ve been settling in here. I’ve heard good things.”

“I am, and you’re not the first to tell me that.” Rielly finally turned to face the administrator, a bright smile on her face. “Makes me almost a little nervous to hear people chatting about me.”

“Like I said, only good things.”

“Is there something I can help you with?” Rielly asked with all the polite, southern charm she could muster.

Gloria laced her hands together in front of her as she spoke, “As a matter of fact, yes. We have a medical student starting next week.” Rielly looked confused and Robby felt the sentiment. This was the first he was hearing of a new medical student. “He’s attending an osteopathic school.”

“Oh, okay.” Rielly let the words drag on. “I assume you’re bringing this up because I’m a DO?” She crossed her arms and gave a small shrug. “DO students can work with any physician. We’re just the same.”

“I know. But if they want to practice OMM they need to shadow a DO who is trained in it.”

“Well, yes, but I don’t practice OMM here in the Pitt.”

Gloria surprisingly didn’t correct the trauma center’s nickname. Instead, she shook her head and motioned to the younger doctor. “And why is that? Adding OMM to our regimen here would be a great benefit.”

Robby frowned to himself and pulled off his glasses with full intention to jump into the conversation. He knew exactly where this was going. Gloria’s talks only ever ended in either patient satisfaction or money.

“We don’t really have the means to do OMM down here.” Rielly replied with an awkward chuckle. “I only ever did that in an outpatient setting. We need time and space and follow up—”

“Yes, well, I think implementing it here would work wonders in the long run. Maybe set up an area and dedicate some of your time to the process. It would just be another jewel in the crown of procedures we offer to the public.”

AKA it would be another thing the hospital could bill for.

Robby rose from his seat, but he didn’t make it step before Rielly was replying.

“Oh!” Her smile was broad and welcoming. Innocent. “I see. That’s a wonderful idea, Dr. Underwood. Can I recommend what I might need?”

“Please.” Gloria nodded.

“For it to be as successful as possible, and benefit the most patients, we’d probably need more staff upstairs.” Rielly said. Robby’s eyes widened just as Gloria’s face fell, but the resident didn’t miss a single, friendly beat. “Only because then we could get more patients down here up to the floor and if we could do that then we could open areas down here. Obviously, you wouldn’t want to take away an exam room down here since we’re already cutting it thin.”

Gloria clenched her jaw, Robby could see it from here, before nodding once. “Obviously.”

“So instead, we could just add more to the Pitt? I know there was a rumor going around when I first started about expanding.” Rielly kept her innocent smile. “Then, if you really wanted to get serious about it and fully dive in, I’d say we should get a DO attending to oversee it all. If you’d like I can email you a few recommendations of physicians, I’ve worked with who may want to relocate here?”

Gloria let out a tense chuckle then shook her head. “Perhaps another time. I’m sure you can understand that increasing staff is no small feat.”

“I didn’t even think about that.” Rielly gave a sheepish shrug. “Sorry, Dr. Underwood. I’m not as well versed in all that admin or attending stuff. I guess I was just considering it from the view of a resident who wants the best for her patients.”

“Of course.” Gloria sighed. “I should leave you to your work.”

“Thank you. If there’s ever anything else I can help you with please don’t hesitate to reach out.” Rielly said.

Robby had perched himself against the side of the nurses’ station to watch the conclusion of the calmest, most polite argument he had ever seen. Gloria turned her back to Rielly and he watched as his resident’s innocent smile briefly morphed into annoyance before she turned back to charting. He chuckled under his breath, and it was enough to catch Gloria’s attention as she passed him on her way out.

Gloria shook her head at him, “Do you train all your residents to comment your views on the understaffing problem?”

“No, not at all.” Robby pushed off the counter and smiled. “Tends to come naturally for them. Must be instinctual on their part, or just common sense, I suppose.”

“Mhmm.” Gloria scoffed. “Don’t forget our quarter meeting tomorrow.”

“Oh, I’m counting down the seconds.” He chimed as they went separate ways.

Rielly was charming, and she knew how to use the skill. He had seen hints of it here and there as she worked, but Robby had been blessed with a front row seat to it today. At first, he had worried it was a manipulation tactic—back when he was looking for a problem. A majority of resident transfers came with baggage and drama. Robby expected a degree of it with her. However, he was quick to realize she used the superpower for good. Rielly was nothing but sincere in her interactions with the staff and patients in the Pitt.

Just like earlier with Herrera. He had been able to tell there was something going on, but it wasn’t until after when he caught up with Dana that he found out the resident hospitalist upstairs was giving Rielly a hard time. It was a scenario that if he had heard of earlier, he would’ve been contacting Herrera himself.

Instead, she handled it, and she did it in a way that might get the resident that burned her scolded, but not written up. Robby wouldn’t have been so nice.

He was within arm’s reach when Rielly noticed his approach. She did a double take in his direction then smiled, one different than the smile she gave Gloria, and badged out. “Hey, Dr. Robby. Are we rounding?”

“We are. You ready?”

“I am.”

Robby nodded and they went to seek out the others. He cleared his throat, “I saw you talking to Gloria. Everything okay?”

“Mhmm. Nothing to worry about.” Rielly said. “She told me we have a new med student coming next week.”

“I heard.” Robby didn’t clarify that he heard at the same time she had. He rubbed the back of his neck, applying pressure to the tight muscles there, “What I’m more interested in knowing though, is how your morning has been? Keeping afloat?”

Rielly nodded with a small chuckle, “Mostly. I don’t think I need a lifeguard yet.”

“Good to hear.” Robby began to lift a hand to touch her shoulder, but he found himself hesitating. Quickly, he let his hand fall and nodded instead. “Uh, let’s get rounds going while we still have a minute to run it.”

He clapped his hands and motioned for everyone else to gather. Afternoon rounds were a brief affair. It was just a way for him to make sure everybody was on board with the plans and that he knew what was happening with everyone. It became even more important when they lost Langdon. Collins was brilliant, but she couldn’t be everywhere at once. Neither could he.

They stayed at the station to run rounds in the afternoon, rather than going from room to room to see the patients, and the only ones Robby required a full presentation on were the ones that weren’t here during morning rounds.

As they wrapped it up, Robby called out the name of the last patient on the list. Relatively new. He turned to find the tracking board to see if someone assigned themselves to it yet. It wasn’t necessary though as Santos spoke up.

“Oh, the eighty-year-old? She’s mine.”

Robby glanced back at her as the intern began to ramble off a brief history. His eyes darted to Rielly, just a glance, and the look on her face could only be described as shock. Shit. She didn’t know this patient yet. Robby crossed his arms and focused back in on Santos’ presentation.

“—I thought it was a PE so I ordered a CTA and it was confirmed. Started her on—”

“Blood work?” Robby asked. “What did it look like?”

“Still pending, but it should be back any minute now.” Santos shrugged. “She’s got no medical history, and everything was normal the last time she was here like five months ago.” Rielly had stepped away to grab a COW and rolled it closer while badging in at the same time. Santos glanced to her then back to him.

 Robby scratched along the side of his jaw, “Rielly?” There was a tension in the air as he awaited results. Collins shot him a look and he nodded once. The senior resident led away the others leaving just him, Santos, and Rielly. This would be a teaching moment for sure, but patient care and safety came first. “Riel—”

“GFR was 15.” Rielly blurted. Fuck.

Santos seemed to finally understand the situation and shook her head. “She never mentioned any history of chronic kidney disease!”

“You have to check. Especially in the elderly. Kidney function is lower in them at baseline. Any GFR lower than 30, we do not give them contrast.” Robby locked his jaw and let his hands rest on the back of his neck. Best case scenario, contrast nephropathy didn’t set in, they dodged a bullet, and patient could leave with an oral blood thinner depending on the degree of the clot. Worst case scenario? A minimum of a week stay, possibly dialysis, maybe even permanent damage. Fuck. “Based on her kidney function, what should she have had?”

“V/Q scan.” Rielly chimed.

Robby nodded. Santos took a step toward him and began to panic, but it was interrupted by a screaming ambulance outside their doors. Dana was calling out for help as EMTs rushed in and Robby pointed at Rielly.

“What do we need?”

“IVF with normal saline. Serial CMPs. I’ll have a nurse place a cath so we can keep strict I & O’s.”

“Good. Go. We’ll circle back on this later.” Robby rushed to incoming trauma.

Santos was rambling apologies and excuses. None of the words really registered for Skylar. She was too busy kicking herself. How did she miss this? How did she fucking miss this? Robby even warned her at the start of the day that Santos had a bad habit of running off on her own. Hell, she saw it with the first patient they discussed today. Yet, she still managed to miss this.

And now a patient could have permanent kidney damage thanks to them.

They had bought her at the minimum 48 to 72 hours in this hospital for sure. Possibly longer if the worst came to pass.

“Dr. Rielly, I—”

“Go.” Skylar interrupted. “Go to the lounge right now. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Santos looked like she planned to argue, but Skylar leveled a glare that left no room for it. Finally, Santos nodded weakly and wandered away. She turned back to the COW and placed quick orders for the patient. Then she sought out the nurse for that room.

“Jesse,” Skylar jogged up to the man who stood in front of the Pyxis collecting medicine. His curly, salt and pepper hair made him an easy target to spot. It helped that he stood taller than a solid portion of the other nurses. He turned to greet her and she sighed, “You’re overseeing Central Six?”

Jesse dropped what he was doing and shook his head. “I was gonna find Robby after this. Her labs just resulted. They called me. Imaging took her for a CT before I ever even saw—”

“Not your fault. It was mine.” Skylar waved her hand. “I just need you to place a cath and keep strict I & O’s on her. I placed the orders and added serial CMPs too. The second her kidney function shows signs of contrast induced nephropathy I want to know.”

“You got it, doc.”

Skylar briefly poked her head into a few other rooms, just to make sure her and Santos’ patients were stable, before jogging to the lounge. As if her day couldn’t get any worse, she spotted Jackson standing outside the lounge talking to Santos. It was funny. Jackson kind of reminded her of Thompson. Blond hair, blue eyes, light skin. The only difference was Thompson wore a smile while Jackson wore disdain and a smug arrogance that made her want to pummel his face in.

“—now I hear you wreck a patient’s kidneys.” Jackson scoffed. He must have been near rounds to have caught that. “You know, you’re the one who should’ve been removed from the Pitt. Especially after you ruined Langdon’s life.” Skylar’s shoulders tensed, but her footsteps quickened. “He was my friend and probably the best physician down here and now thanks to you he’s—”

“Do we have problem, Jackson?” Skylar spat.

Jackson whirled on her with a scoff, “You. Don’t even get me started on you.”

“Unless we called you for another admit, which we didn’t, then there’s no reason for you to be talking to Dr. Santos right now. Go see your patients.”

His eyes widened comically as he stepped toward her. “Who do you think you’re talking to, second year?”

“You. The internal medicine resident who is down here harassing my fucking intern when he should be doing his job.” Skylar replied. “I heard what you said. You don’t get to talk to her like that. Stay in your lane.”

“You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, Rielly.”

“Oh, no, I get it. I’ve heard it all over the PTMH gossip mill.” Skylar held her hands up. “Dr. Langdon is in rehab because of a drug problem.” Jackson locked his jaw. “But, you know? I haven’t heard the story yet where Santos held a gun to his head and forced him to steal benzos from the Pyxis—steal medicine from patients. Care to enlighten me on that one?”

Jackson shook his head. “Typical. I could’ve guessed you’d side with her.”

“Typical? I’ll tell you what’s typical. Her getting the blame for something he chose to do.” Skylar stepped up to him again, not impressed with his glare. “She’s a young woman who brought a patient safety issue to light. But because he’s a white man, a nice guy, a good doctor that makes him the victim here and her the devil. Because how dare she ruin his career like that? Right?”

Jackson’s jaw feathered in irritation. He scoffed and eyed her like he had stepped in shit. “Watch yourself, Rielly.”

He pushed past her to storm away, but Skylar whipped around to call after him. “That’s Dr. Rielly.”

Jackson brushed her comment off without so much as a glance back. Of course, today would be like this. Yesterday had been too good of a day for this to go any other way. With a scoff under her breath, she turned back to where Santos stood awkwardly.

Santos rocked on her heels and clapped her hands together once. “Uh, thank you for—”

“No.” Skylar snapped. “Lounge. Now.”

Santos dragged her feet as she turned to enter the space. Jackson must have caught her right before she went in. Skylar followed and glanced around to make sure no one else was following in behind them. This scolding didn’t need to be public.

“I’m sorry.” Santos started. “I—”

“I never met Dr. Langdon.” Skylar crossed her arms. “I’ve heard he was a good doctor, and a really nice guy. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who spoke negatively of him. Just…understanding that he has a problem and he’s in the right place for it.” Santos hung her head. “But Jackson was wrong. I know firsthand what it’s like to get blamed for ‘ruining a man’s career’ by speaking up.” There was curiosity when Santos lifted her gaze back to her and Skylar shook her head in irritation. She was getting off base. “Don’t—Don’t carry that guilt. It’s not yours. He’s facing the consequences of his own actions, alright?”

Santos nodded. “Got it.”

“Now,” Skylar pointed behind her, “You want to know what your problem is, Santos?” The intern twisted her lips but didn’t offer a response. “You’re a good fucking doctor, but you know it.”

“I…I don’t understand.”

“You just started your career. I don’t care how smart you are on paper or how many times you can get pimped by an attending and get the question right. There is an ocean of things you do not know. Clinically, your journey has only begun. I’m glad you’re confident in yourself. That’s important.” Skylar said. “But it’s more important for you to understand you don’t have all the answers. That’s why residency is built the way it is. Otherwise, right after graduation we’d just ship you to your job and leave you to it.”

Santos, you are going to kill someone.” Skylar sighed and Santos’ shoulders slumped. “You are. It’s the nature of medicine. We get put into positions expected to be perfect—this defender against death itself. But we are human, and as humans we will fuck up. Hell, even when we do everything right, patients will still die on our watch.” Skylar pressed her lips together and tried to swallow back the last of her aggravation. It was poison and it’d do nothing to help her co-residents or patients today. When she finally felt settled, she finished, “You will lose patients and those patients will haunt you for the rest of your life. They stay with you. Don’t let a lack of humility and respect for the hierarchy cost you more lives.”

Santos crossed her arms tightly enough that it looked like she was hugging herself. She tilted her head up to stare at the ceiling and let out a slow exhale. After a beat, she met Skylar’s firm gaze. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll…I’ll do better. Promise.” Skylar nodded. “Dr. Robby is gonna kill me, isn’t he?”

“No. That’s the beauty of this hierarchy you keep trying to buck.” Skylar clapped the woman on her shoulder and gave it a small shake. “He’s gonna kill me. As he should. This was as much my mistake as it was yours.” Santos opened her mouth, but Skylar shook her head. “No. I’m your senior today. You’re my intern. It was my job to follow after and supervise you. I missed this.”

Santos grimaced, “After this, do you still want to be my senior?”

“Hell yeah. Mama didn’t raise no quitter.” Skylar gave the woman a smile to reassure her. It took all her strength to fight through her annoyance with Santos to do so, but they still had over six hours in their shift. The intern needed to shake this and get back to work. “That being said, I don’t know if Dr. Robby will let me keep being a senior, but…”

Santos looked like she was going to apologize again, but Skylar waved her off and nodded to the door. “The day isn’t over, kid. Let’s get back to it.” As they left the lounge, Skylar stopped her once more and pointed at her with a grin that was only half kidding. “If you drop orders without telling me again today though, I will beat the shit out of you, Santos. I swear to God.”

There was a light at the end of the tunnel as they entered into the very last hour of their shift. Collins finished checking in with one of McKay’s patients then made a beeline to her station to start going through the long list of charts that had piled up. The only thing that gave her pause was Robby. He was leaning against the counter staring up at the tracking board with his glasses on. One hand rubbed at the back of his neck.

Collins sighed and changed course.

“Hey.” She greeted. He briefly looked away from the board to give a nod before his eyes snapped right back. Collins had spent a lot of time worrying about Robby after the Pittfest shooting five months ago. The traumatic onslaught of patients had been scarring for everyone, but she knew he had taken a bigger hit than most. To start that day mourning the anniversary of his mentor and end it calling the time of death on his stepson’s girlfriend…It had been no small feat. Collins had missed the last three hours of that shift and more than anything she wished she had been there. Would it have left a scar on her? Sure. That date was already burned into her soul as the date of her miscarriage, but she hated that she hadn’t been there for her Pitt family. For Robby. “You okay?”

Robby sighed, “Abbot is gonna be pissed. Day wasn’t bad for us, but fuck are we leaving a mess tonight.”

“Not really what I was asking about. I know yesterday was your anniversary with Janey.” Collins leaned against the counter beside him. Their shoulders separated by only a few inches of space.

“Have you talked to Dana about that at all?”

Collins furrowed her brow, “Uh, no. Why?”

“No reason. It was fine.” Robby pushed off the counter and drummed his hands against it with a small smile. “Are you okay?”

She made a mental note to talk to Dana before leaving. “I feel guilty with what happened to Santos and Rielly’s patient.” Robby began to shake his head and she sighed. “I know I complained to you about how duties have fallen, but I shouldn’t have suggested what I did. As much as I like Santos, I knew her bad habits and I knew—”

“I knew too.” Robby replied. “And if I didn’t think Rielly was up to the task, I would’ve shut it down. Yeah, today there was a slip up, but it was day one. And all things considered, it wasn’t the worst slip up that could have happened.”

Collins shot him a glare. “That woman’s kidneys could be shot.”

“We are flooding her with fluids, and I’m trying to be more optimistic.” Robby argued. Collins scoffed. “Regardless, that’s not on you. I made the final call.”

Robby’s gaze snapped away, and Collins followed it to find Rielly sitting at her station working on charts. It was impressive how quickly he had managed to lock onto her. Collins studied his features and there was a moment, just a flicker, of softness in his eyes. It disappeared as quickly as it had come. To the degree that Collins wondered if she had even seen it at all.

It had been a long time since the two of them dated. That might have been too strong a word to describe it. She didn't think anyone except Dana knew, but Dana knew everything. Still, it allowed her an insight on the overworked, exhausted physician that not many had.

“What?” Robby questioned and Collins realized she had been studying his features.

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

Robby narrowed his eyes at her, but their soon to start argument was interrupted by the intern they had been talking about.

“Dr. Robby?” Santos stopped by them and both physicians turned to face her. She wrung her hands for only a second before shoving them into her pockets. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about earlier.”

Robby nodded, “Sure.”

He met Collins’ eyes once more before walking away with the intern. Collins stayed where she was, gave Rielly another glance, then left for her own station.

“Oh my God.”

Skylar’s eyes snapped up from her screen to see Thompson standing in front of her. He motioned to the banana that still sat by the computer. She grimaced.

“You didn’t even touch the banana? Please tell me it’s because you ate such a big lunch that you had no appetite for it.”

“Something like that?” Skylar offered a cheesy smile. “I drank the coffee you got me.”

“Great,” Thompson set his bag down with a chuckle, “So you had plenty of caffeine today but no actual sustenance.”

Skylar badged out and stood up. “Coffee is my sustenance.” She readjusted her stethoscope. “Can I give you check out? I gotta make sure I catch Dr. Robby before he leaves, and I want to check on a patient.”

“Ah, I knew you leaving on time yesterday was a fluke.” Thompson joked and motioned for her to go on.

Skylar ran through her hand off quick and efficiently. She put an emphasis on their kidney patient, but she planned to check on the woman before she left for the night anyways. Rather than starting his pre-charting, Thompson went with her to where the attendings stood so he could wrap up on patient updates.

They were clearly not talking about patients anymore when Skylar approached so the only anxiety she felt on cutting in was for what was to come. “Hey Dr. Abbot, how are you?”

“I’m here.” He responded dryly.

 “Dr. Robby,” Skylar turned her attention to the other, “Can we talk before you leave? Just when you have some time.”

“I have time right now.” Robby pushed off the nurses’ station. “How about we find somewhere quieter?”

Skylar would prefer that. Getting scolded in public was the worst feeling in the world. Not only would she never put someone in that position, but she prayed to never experience it again. The two of them didn’t get far when Abbot called out.

“Whoa, hey, aren’t you gonna check out to me first?”

“Don’t worry, Dr. Abbot!” Thompson chirped. “I told her I’d take care of patient hand off.”

Abbot blinked once before sighing and turning to the night resident.

As they managed some distance, Robby chuckled, “You know, I’m wondering how we can manage having you never check out to Abbot again. I think it’ll only get funnier every time.” Skylar forced out a chuckle at his statement, but her mouth felt dry. This would be easier if Robby showed his annoyance or irritation. At least then she would know what to expect. “Lounge is full thanks to shift change. How about here?”

He motioned to the family waiting room which was currently empty. The room had a window on the door, and she prayed nobody would pass as this occurred. Though Skylar was happy to stand, Robby made the decision to sit and then motioned for her to follow suit. With a sigh, she sat down across from him.

“So—” Robby began, but Skylar didn’t give him the time.

“I am so sorry, Dr. Robby. What happened this afternoon was all my fault. You and Dr. Collins trusted me to supervise and I—I messed up.” Skylar wrung her hands tight enough to make her knuckles go pale. “I completely understand if you want to strip me of the supervision role, and I will take any and all punishment you deem appropriate.”

Robby was silent and it only fed into her nerves. She lifted her gaze from the floor to meet his eyes and it was the worst mistake she could make. They were a damned weapon. In fact, it should be illegal for anyone to have a gaze as soft as his. The warmth of the dark color didn’t help.  Was this what disappointment looked like when he wore it? Anger would have been easier.

“What punishment do you think is appropriate for this, Rielly?” He finally asked.

She swallowed to try and rid herself of the lump in her throat, but it was useless.

“I, uh,” Skylar started, “I don’t know how it works here. I’d say to switch my golden weekend to a 36-hour shift, but I…I’m not sure how y’all run a 36 hour shift here.”

“We don’t.” Robby replied simply. “I don’t believe in 36-hour shifts for my residents. At that point, you’re not learning. You’re just trying to survive, and it puts patients at risk of medical errors. Humans weren’t meant to work in a high stress environment like a hospital for 36 hours straight.”

“Oh.”

Robby continued to hold her gaze and she wished she could bring herself to look away. “Is that what they would’ve done at your old residency?”

Skylar shifted in her seat. She had been here long enough to know this place was nothing like where she came from. The energy here was entirely different. But, at the end of the day, a mistake was a mistake. She had done everything in her power to be perfect the second she stepped into the Pitt, but today had been a failure.

She had said it herself to Santos.

Actions had consequences.

“Alright, I’m going to tell you what your punishment is.” Robby scooted forward in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees. Skylar straightened in her posture, steeling herself for the lecture, and nodded. “You are going to go home. You’re going to drink a glass of wine or a beer—whatever your preference is for that. Then you are going to get a good night’s rest. Finally, you’ll come back tomorrow, and we’ll do this song and dance all over again.”

Skylar blinked four times before she found her voice.

“What?”

Robby scratched the side of his head with an exasperated laugh. “Rielly, I’m not going to crucify you for today. That wouldn’t be fair. Mistakes happen.”

“Santos was my responsibility today, Dr. Robby.”

“I already spoke to Santos. She came to me, actually.” Robby shrugged. “She said you gave her a stern talking to. Whatever it was you said seemed to get to her. From what it sounds like, lessons were learned—from every angle—and this won’t happen again. Right?”

As the adrenaline of her anxiety began to die down, she felt her lower lip quiver and quickly bit down on it. She nodded in agreement. Robby pushed to stand, and he held out his hand to her. Skylar hesitated for a second before taking it and allowing him to pull her up.

“Then it’s all settled.” He squeezed her hand once before letting it go.

Skylar breathed a sigh of relief and the smile that filled her features was involuntary, “Thank you, sir.”

Robby winced and waved a finger at her as he marched to the door. “Keep it up with the ‘sir’ thing, and I will think of a punishment of some kind.”

Chapter Text

"Do not allow the fear of confrontation and conflict hinder you from defending yourself." -Kiara's Corner

As Santos walked away from the workstation, Skylar noted that she seemed to be in a good mood. A part of her worried the intern wouldn’t react well as she tried to be better about checking out patients, but she was happy to say she was wrong. For the last two weeks Santos had been on her best behavior. She came and checked out all her patients prior to placing any orders and had gotten into the very good habit of texting Skylar when she had questions about permission.

It was a system that worked well for them since Skylar couldn’t dedicate all her energy and focus on the intern’s patients. Was she still keeping a very close eye on said patients? Yes. Was it starting to wipe her out a bit? Also, yes. Having the last weekend to crash and pass out had definitely helped.

“Dr. Rielly?” She turned to see Princess walk up with a tablet in hand. The nurse flipped it around and Skylar scanned the discharge paperwork. “Central Three ate lunch without any pain. No nausea either.”

“Perfect. They are,” She grabbed the pen attached to the side and signed the electronic screen, “Good to go. Thanks, Princess.”

Skylar turned back to her charts. Her fingers drummed against the counter as she bounced her leg in a similar rhythm. The adrenaline from her last trauma case was only just now starting to die down and she felt jittery. The three coffees she had so far probably hadn’t helped the situation.

“Where’s Rielly?” She heard McKay ask from the other side of the nurses’ station.

“Here!” Skylar called out without looking away from her screen.

Only a few beats passed and the red headed resident slid into her view. Skylar had always been jealous of McKay’s bangs. They framed her face so well and it always tempted her to attempt it. Even though history had proven that Skylar did not have a face designed for bangs.

“My patient in North Four needs a central line.” McKay grinned.

Skylar immediately snapped to attention, straightening in her seat, “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah. Collins told me send over Santos or one of the med students, but I know you still need a few to get signed off.” McKay said and Skylar groaned in relief. She had been chasing central lines for the last four months to no avail. It was honestly ridiculous how little she saw on her shifts considering they worked in a goddamn trauma center.

“You’re a godsend, McKay.” Skylar hopped up and badged out. She shrugged out of her hoodie leaving her in just black scrubs. Another sign that the universe was smiling down on her today—she was wearing one of the few dark colors she owned. “I’m on seven right now.”

“Still only seven? I for sure thought you would’ve been closer.”

“You and me both.” She took a long sip of water from her bottle before tucking it away behind her computer. “It doesn’t help that the Pitt requires fifteen instead of just ten.”

McKay walked with her away from the workstation. “Well, you’ll get there. When you go on nights it might be easier. Less competition vying for them.” Skylar nodded. That was true, and her night shift rotation was coming up here soon. “You gonna take your med student with you? Where is he?”

Skylar should not have groaned in annoyance, it was probably unprofessional of her, but she knew McKay of all people wouldn’t judge her for it. In fact, her fellow second year resident laughed in response.

“No. God, no.” Skylar huffed. The osteopathic medical student Gloria spoke about had certainly showed up, and she was more than ready to send him away too. He wasn’t…bad, per say. Landry Simmons seemed smart so far. He just reminded Skylar of the kind of guy who never stopped being a frat boy—one who thought he was well-liked by everyone. “He just makes me kind of uncomfortable.”

“Wait, really?” McKay stopped and grasped Skylar by the elbow to make her pause as well. “He’s an annoying know-it-all, but I haven’t gotten that kind of vibe.”

Skylar quickly shook her head, “No, no. I just—He’s probably just awkward and doesn’t even realize he’s being…” She didn’t have a good clarification to offer. It was mainly because she didn’t have any evidence or specific examples of anything. “I don’t know. It’s not a big deal. I was kind of wiped that first week he was on so it was probably that. I had less patience.”

McKay’s skeptical gaze did not falter, and Skylar laughed out a reassurance. Finally, the resident sighed and shook her head. “Alright, but just know you don’t have to make excuses for him. Trust your gut.” She gave a wink. “We’re EM docs, it’s what we’re good at.”

“Thanks, McKay.” Skylar appreciated the support of her vague complaints. Landry was supposed to be working with Mohan today and he must have been trapped in a room because she hadn’t spotted him yet this morning.

On her way to the procedure, Skylar swung by to touch base with the nurses overseeing her rooms to let them know where she’d be just in case. North Four was hidden by the privacy curtain and standing outside the space was Robby. He had his glasses on as he typed on his phone.

“Hey, Dr. Robby.” She greeted and glanced around for Collins.

“Oh, Rielly.” He glanced up to respond but his eyes went back to his task. “You need something?”

“I…don’t think so?”

Robby’s’ fingers stopped, and he lifted his chin to focus on her. “Was that a question?”

She held his gaze for a second before pointing to the privacy curtain. “I’m here to do a central line on North Four.”

“I’m here to supervise a central line on North Four.”

“I thought Collins was gonna be here.”

“And I thought McKay was going to be sending me Santos or a med student.” Robby chuckled. “Looks like we’re both surprised.” He tucked his phone into his pocket. “Why are you here to do it?”

Skylar hadn’t known if Robby was aware of her lack of certification. So far, she’s had Collins, McKay, and Mohan sign her off. Since they were all certified to do central lines, they were allowed to. After fifteen supervised, successful central lines, Skylar would be in that category as well. She had kind of hoped Robby knew and just never brought it up but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“I… am not signed off on central lines yet.” Skylar admitted weakly.

Robby furrowed his brow and his mouth opened and closed once before he finally spoke. “I’ve seen you do central lines. You’re good at central lines.”

That slightly improved her shame.

“One of the others have always been around when I did them. They’d sign me off.” Skylar said. “I have seven already, this’ll be my eighth.”

“This will only be your eighth??”

“Here? Yeah.” Skylar nodded. “I’ve done more in the past.”

“But you were never signed off?”

“I…” Skylar almost admitted that she hadn’t been allowed to. Her senior then refused to sign her off for very non-medical reasons. She shoved her hands into her pockets and shrugged. “No?”

“Is that another question?”

“Dr. Robby,” She sighed, “I can grab Santos or a med student if you’d prefer they grab this experience. I know Santos needs to be signed off before she becomes a second year—”

Robby shook his head and his phone dinged. He ignored it. “Don’t be silly. I’m more than happy to do this with you. You just caught me off guard is all. I kind of assumed you had already been signed off. That’s on me for not checking.” He motioned to her. “You ready?”

“Yes, si—” Skylar swallowed the last word.

Robby had still noticed based on the grin he wore, but he gave a nod. “Better, Rielly. Better.” His phone dinged again, and Skylar had a question half falling out her mouth when he responded by pulling it out and roughly silencing it. “Jesus, Gloria won’t leave me the fuck alone today.”

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

“Clever.” He held open the curtain for her to step in.

Skylar quickly introduced herself to the patient and walked the older woman through the plan for the central line. It was a well-rehearsed script she could recite in her sleep. The patient confirmed understanding and Skylar confirmed that a nurse had already swung by and given the woman a dose of Ativan. Central lines in stable patients were placed while they were awake which wasn’t always the most situation.

“Walk me through the supplies.” Robby said.

Skylar opened the kit and as she ran through the check list to ensure all their materials were there she geared up. Robby didn’t. Rather, he stood on the other side of the patient, beside the portable ultrasound, and nodded along as she spoke. It was a testament to his confidence in her that he planned to not gown in, but it cranked her anxiety through the stratosphere.

She wanted to impress him. It had taken her a minute to fully grasp it, but ever since he had shown her the kindness after that horrific failed date, Skylar wanted him to like her. Obviously, she wanted to be a good doctor for her patients at the end of the day, but she wanted to be a stellar resident for him.

“Guidewire looks good.” Skylar tested the looped metal wire to ensure that it moved forward and backward with the right pressure. It was better to find out the guidewire was broken before the procedure than in the middle of it when you had a needle jabbed into the patient’s internal jugular. She set it down and picked up the sterile sheath that would cover the ultrasound probe.

The curtain whipped open, and they both snapped their attention to the motion. Landry Simmons stood in his short white coat with a grin. His brown hair was messy and there was an arrogance in his dark eyes that gave off the vibe that he thought he was allowed to be anywhere he wanted to be.

“Dr. Rielly, I was looking for you.” He announced.

“Dr. Rielly is clearly busy.” Robby snapped before Skylar could even think of a response. “Shut the curtain, we’re in the middle of a procedure.”

Landry shut the curtain but not before stepping in further so he still lingered, “I know. I heard. I was hoping to gown up and watch? I can even assist by handing things off when she needs it.”

Skylar glanced to Robby who was already staring at her. He raised an eyebrow and she understood. It was her procedure; it was her choice. She gnawed on her lower lip happy to have the nervous tick hidden by her mask.

“Please, Dr. Rielly?”

She cleared her throat and nodded. “Um, sure. That’s fine.” The next inhale she took was slow and steadying. Landry didn’t matter. This patient did. “I’m not waiting for you though, go grab a gown and some gloves. I’m starting.” Landry rushed away and she held her hand out with the probe sheath to Robby. “Ultrasound probe?”

Robby didn’t immediately move, and it forced her to lift her gaze from her hand to his eyes. He said nothing, but he clearly didn’t have to. Skylar huffed. “Dr. Robby?” Rather than hand over the probe, he reached over to the machine and picked up a bottle of the gel and poured a dollop into the sheath.

Fuck. She had forgotten to do that herself. Her own little packet of ultrasound gel laid on the tray prepped, open, ready to go, and now untouched.

Robby pressed the probe into the goop and kept his hand only on the cord to prevent contamination. Skylar shimmed the sheath over the probe until she could hold it herself. Clearing her throat, she wrapped it with one of the rubber bands, to keep the gel over the tip, and nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He replied quietly. Skylar used her freehand to grab her ultrasound gel and used a gratuitous amount on the patient’s skin—she had plenty to spare now. “Dr. Rielly, if you need—”

“I’m back!” Robby’s soft voice was interrupted by Landry’s grating one.

“Gown up.” Skylar ordered and placed the probe on the patient’s skin. Trying her best to press onward, she sighed and forced her eyes to the ultrasound screen beside her attending. She scanned the patient’s neck looking for the view she needed. Landry, gowned and gloved up, drifted over and settled on her right side. She nodded, “When you’re placing a central line in the IJ, it’s best to be perpendicular to the vessels—that’ll create a transverse view for you to work with.”

“The short axis.” Landry confirmed.

“Yes. Point out what you see on the screen.”

She had aligned the probe so both the common carotid and the internal jugular were visible. Landry pointed them out and properly named them.

“Good job.” Robby chimed. “What are we looking for in this view? Why is it so important to scan?”

“So we can see where we’re placing the line,” Landry responded, “This is high risk for a pneumothorax.”

Skylar shook her head and pressed down on the ultrasound to compress the internal jugular a few times, double checking her location. “Not exactly. We—”

The medical student immediately cut her off, “If you were to puncture the apex of the lung you could cause—”

“Student Doctor Simmons.” Robby took command again and Landry went silent. “Dr. Rielly was speaking. She’s offering you a teaching point. Listen.”

Skylar cleared her throat, “You’re right that it’s obviously important we have a view of where we’re placing the line, but right now I’m checking for stenosis of the IJ or the presence of a thrombus. Both would be reasons to halt the procedure and find a new location for a line. The risk of a pneumothorax here isn’t impossible, but it’s less of a risk compared to the subclavian.”

“Good. Exactly right, Dr. Rielly.” Robby nodded.

The reassurance acted as a salve to the raw nerves making her heart race. She could place a noncomplicated central venous cath with her eyes closed. Rather than ask for Landry’s help, she reached back and grabbed the lidocaine she had prepped and warned the patient of a pinch before injecting it in the area. When enough time had passed for the medicine to take effect, she took the introducer needle to place in the internal jugular.

Skylar adjusted the hand holding the probe to switch from short axis to a long axis view. It would allow her to quickly confirm the location of her needle and see the whole length of it. Using this technique over the short axis had taken tons of practice, but she had become adept at it.

“You’re in the wrong view.” Landry commented right before the needle tip touched skin. The words themselves hadn’t been what startled her. It was that they were said directly into her ear. Landry wasn’t touching her, but only barely. His presence loomed over her. If he wasn’t wearing a mask, he’d be breathing down her neck. Skylar’s hand flinched and she was grateful she hadn’t already broken skin.

“She’s fine. Long axis is a perfectly fine way to do it.” Robby had his arms crossed with one hand resting on the side of his face. He had removed his glasses and it left him with only tired, annoyance on his face. “I’d never let a beginner attempt a line from long axis, but Dr. Rielly knows what she’s doing.”

Skylar took a slow breath through her nose and focused back. Keeping her eyes glued to the ultrasound screen, she pressed the needle into the patient’s skin. It only took one readjustment before she was pleased with the location of the needle and let go of the probe to pull back on the introducer needle’s syringe. A flash of red was all the confirmation she needed.

“Got it.” Skylar grinned.

“Good girl.”

She felt her cheeks warm. One day she’d sit down and assess why such simple praise from her attending could affect her in this way, but today was not that day.

“Hand me the guidewire.” Skylar asked then unscrewed the syringe portion of the needle. Blood covered her fingers, but it was an appropriate amount. She held out her right hand, waiting, and after a second Landry followed instruction.

With the guidewire in hand, she began to unroll the tip of the wire through the needle. The wire only made it an inch or two before it got stuck. Skylar furrowed her brow and rolled back just a bit before trying again. Blocked. This time when she attempted to roll it back, it wouldn’t budge.

Skylar mumbled a curse in Korean.

“Dr. Rielly?”

“It’s stuck.” She tried to move the wire again to no avail. “I don’t know what its stuck on, I had the view.”

“Pull it out.”

“I can’t.” Skylar met Robby’s eyes briefly. “It’s locked in. I’m afraid if I pull it out, I’ll shear the vessel.”

Robby was moving. He came around the bed and only stopped when he reached the medical student still hovering over her. “Move.”

“I’m sterile.” Landry began to offer. “I can offer an extra hand if you tell me what to do—”

“I am telling you what to do.” Robby snapped then hissed under his breath so the patient couldn’t hear. “Get the fuck out of my way.” Landry scrambled back from the bed and Robby closed the space to her. He nodded. “I’m gonna step closer to you, but I’m staying behind your back so I don’t break the sterile field. That okay?”

Skylar nodded.

“Yes, but—” Her voice caught in her throat when Robby stepped in closer. Just like Landry, he hovered over her like a shadow. Not touching, but only barely. Unlike Landry, it didn’t make her skin crawl in discomfort. Quite the opposite. Skylar never considered herself short. She was average for her gender and ethnicity. Right now though, towering over her, Robby made her feel very short. “You, uh, you should probably just gown in, Dr. Robby. I—”

Robby shook his head, she felt the movement, “No. You can do this.” He leaned down just enough so rather than peering over her head, he was peering over her shoulder. “Either the guidewire or introducer must be faulty. You’re gonna have to pull them out together. Slowly.”

“It’ll shear. She’ll bleed.” Skylar shook her head.

“No, she won’t. You won’t let her.” Robby argued. “Shift it around, feel for space, and pull them both back together when you notice the give. Come on. You got this.” Skylar locked her jaw and minutely twisted the items, giving a slight pull back, to try and find the give he spoke about. Then she felt it. Just a little less tension, a little less of that block. She blew out a short breath and agonizingly, slowly pulled the introducer out with the guidewire. Robby nodded and murmured. “Just like that. Don’t stop.”

Finally, it was out. Skylar snatched up a gauze she had in the sterile field for use and applied pressure to the site where the needle had been. Robby stepped back, she felt him leave her space, but his large hand settled on her back.

“Told you had it, Rielly.”

Landry suddenly spoke up, “I went ahead and grabbed a new kit. I also opened it up and checked the guidewire and introducer needle. It seems to all work.”

Robby still had a hand on her back, and she felt him tap her with his thumb. Somehow, she understood the simple motion and nodded. “I have it under control, Dr. Robby.”

“Yes, you do.” Robby agreed and backed away from her.

This time, it went smoothly.

Skylar found the IJ, got the needle in, got the guidewire in, and the rest of the steps fell into place. Landry was asking questions the entire time and Robby answered them so she could focus. She tested the line with one of the saline flushes and when she was content with the application, she pulled her gown and gloves off.

“We need an x-ray now, right? To check placement?” Landry asked.

“Yes.” Robby agreed. “Find the patient’s nurse and have them place the order for a chest x-ray.” Skylar had half the area clean by time Landry jogged away and she carefully took the sharps from both kits and threw them away in the container on the wall. “That was exciting.”

“Mhmm.” Skylar hummed.

The patient asked Robby a question and she used that as her opportunity to slip away. Skylar had dozens and dozens of successful central and peripheral lines under her belt. She couldn’t decide if she was more pissed off or disappointed in herself with the way that went. Skylar ripped the mask off her face and shoved it into a nearby trash can.

“Rielly.”

Fuck.

She came to a stop and after steeling her features, she turned. “Yes, Dr. Robby?”

“You did good.” Robby said and this time his reassurance made her feel worse. “It can be hard to feel what you did. I’ve seen people punch through the IJ or rip it to shreds.”

“Thank you. I need to go see—”

“Where’s your book?”

“Sorry?”

Robby raised his eyebrows and spoke slower, “Your book.” His lips curled into a smile. He mimicked the motion of signing with his empty hand. “So I can sign off this line.”

Skylar chuckled and began to backpedal. “Wasn’t successful. Doesn’t count.”

“The second try was.” Robby argued.

“Well, I don’t have it on me right now, and I spent too much time here.” Skylar said quickly. Robby opened his mouth, and she shot him a smile. “Thanks again, Dr. Robby.”

She rushed away before he could call her back.

Robby found he did his best thinking when he was staring at the Pitt tracking board. It had become a habit. Sometimes he’d study the board for patient information, and sometimes he’d stare at it just to have something to stare at.

“What’s got you all twisted up?” Dana asked.

When he tore his gaze from the board, he found Dana standing on the other side of the nurses’ station watching him skeptically. Robby wished he could deny or deflect her question, but Dana knew him just as well as she knew this ED.

“Have you heard anything about the new med student?” Robby asked.

Dana raised an eyebrow at him, “Like?”

“Anything. Has anybody made complaints, or have you heard passing rumors?”

“No.” She crossed her arms. “What do you know?”

“Nothing. I don’t know…” Robby leaned against the counter and rested his hand on the back of his neck with a shrug. “Just a…feeling.”

“A bad feeling?” Dana clarified. Robby heaved a sigh in response. “You haven’t liked him since the second he walked into the Pitt.” That wasn’t necessarily true. Robby didn’t have an opinion when the kid first walked in. He started disliking him after morning rounds on his first day. When he spent the entire time interrupting residents who knew better than him. “Talk to me, sad boy.”

Robby forced out a laugh and shook his head. “I told you I don’t like being called that.”

“Then stop being sad.”

“Yeah, that seems like sound medical advice.” Robby mumbled. Dana didn’t say another word. She just stared at him knowingly. When he wasn’t miraculously saved by the call of a nurse or the yelling of an EMT, Robby glanced around. Collins was talking to Mohan and Javadi outside of Trauma One. Whitaker was sitting at a spare workstation either having an existential crisis or trying to decipher a chart. He didn’t see McKay, but last he checked in on her she was floating around North Wing. Landry was nowhere to be seen. Last, but not least, Rielly was sitting at her workstation using the dragon to get her notes written. Robby had to force himself to look away from her and back to Dana. “I don’t like how clingy he is around Rielly.”

Dana bobbed her head and looked over her shoulder to where the resident sat, “I’ve noticed he follows her around like a lost puppy. Do I need to be worried??” She snapped back her attention to Robby and there was concern in her eyes. “Did Rielly mention something?”

“No. Nothing like that. I don’t think.” He shook his head then roughly rubbed the back of his head, mussing the hair there. “Can you talk to her later? Check in on that?”

“Sure.”

“It’s probably nothing. I’m probably just being overprotective of her.”

“Probably.”

“But it’s not just her. I’m protective of all my residents.”

“You are. It’s one of the many things that makes you a great attending.”

“I see so much potential in her, that’s it.” Robby said firmly.

“Robby,” Dana cut it with a grimace, “You’re wasting both our time standing here arguing with yourself.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Isn’t time for your smoke break?”

“Yeah, but now I’m worried I gotta stand here and keep you from killing a med student.” Dana argued and tossed her hands up. He gave her a dry look that she only smiled at. Perlah and Princess rushed over with updates and their attention turned back to the patients. Not full-blown fires, but small embers that would go up in smoke if they didn’t catch them now. His staff was very good at catching problems in that state.

Robby was signing a tablet, and when he glanced up he finally spotted Landry. The kid was walking back over to the nurses’ station, and it took Robby half a second to recognize that the med student’s path would take him straight to the empty seat by Rielly.

“Keep me updated on that.” Robby blurted and tossed the tablet onto the counter.

He made a beeline toward his resident—moving as fast as he could without looking too conspicuous. His long strides got him there way before Landry was even near, and he sat down at the workstation beside Rielly. The woman stiffened the second she realized who he was, and Robby wilted at the reaction.

“Hey, Dr. Robby.” She cleared her throat. “Can I help you?”

“Just checking in.” He replied.

“I’m fine.” Rielly huffed without looking at him. “I don’t need you to coddle me.”

Robby chuckled, “Good. Because I don’t coddle my residents.” He held out his hand. “Book.” Rielly finally met his gaze. People told him he had an exceptional talent at reading others. Robby wasn’t so sure about that, but God knew he had plenty of practice in the Pitt. He was still working on deciphering Skylar Rielly. The woman held her cards close to her chest, but today he recognized disappointment in her eyes. He re-emphasized his demand. “Book, Rielly.”

Rielly let out a soft sigh and bent over to fish around in the bag hiding under her workstation. Robby hated that of all emotions, disappointment was easiest to pick out. He felt like he saw it too often on her.

Just as she sat up with the small notebook, Landry sauntered up to them. Robby shifted in his seat enough to face the med student who stood awkwardly over them.

“Is there a new case?” Landry asked.

“It’s the Pitt. There’s always a new case.” Robby replied. He tried to keep his voice as civil as possible, but it seemed the kid was able to pick up on the irritation he felt. Landry rocked on his heels and opened his mouth with his hand outstretched. Robby motioned to the workstation he sat at, specifically the bookbag sitting on the counter, “Were you working here?”

“Yeah—”

Robby grabbed the bag and held it out to him, “Find a new place for this. We don’t keep our bags out in the open. Go find a locker.”

“Oh, right.” Landry took the bag and rushed away.

When Robby looked back to Rielly he found amusement rather than disappointment and it let him breathe easy. She held out her book for him to take. “Seems a little harsh.”

“Kid has to learn.” Robby put on his glasses and cracked open the notebook of procedures to sign.

“Well, we don’t have any free lockers open right now.”

“Shame.” He mumbled and found the central line logs.

Robby was in the middle of his signature when he heard Rielly’s laugh. The sound was so soft and earnest that he couldn’t help but look up from the book. Her nose was scrunched and though she covered her mouth with her hand the smile underneath was significant enough to brighten the rest of her features.

“Sorry.” She chuckled and let her hands rest on her neck. A small smile lingered.

“Don’t apologize.”

Rielly shook her head. “I shouldn’t be laughing at you mildly bullying a med student. That’s wrong.”

Robby finished his signature and held the book back out to her. “If it entertains you, I can moderately bully him.”

The face she made, somewhere between exasperation and delight, was one he studied for a second too long. It was for future reference, he convinced himself. So, he could better read her on shifts.

Rielly grabbed the book, but he didn’t let go. With her attention solidly on him, he nodded. “I think I told you something before about asking for help when you need it.”

“You did,” Rielly replied and tugged on the book lightly, “But, I don’t need help.”

Robby rolled his words around in his head, lips pressed together, then sighed, “I hate to ask this, Dana would do it better, but…is Landry giving you problems?” Her smile faltered a bit, and Robby almost regretted asking. He needed to know though. “If he’s said something or even made you a little uncomfortable in some way…”

Rielly’s lips parted. A quiet breath leaving the space with no words to follow. But, he could see them. Robby could see something brewing in her eyes and he was nothing if not determined and patient.

“Just the two doctors I was looking for.” Santos’ voice was the one to finally break the silence. Robby and Rielly let go of the book at the same time and it fell to the floor. He leaned back and it was the moment he realized he had been leaning forward in the first place. She mimicked his position. Santos’ eyes bounced from Rielly to Robby then back again.

“Sorry,” Santos dragged the apology out, “Am I interrupting—”

“No. What is it, Dr. Santos?” Robby motioned for her to continue.

“A trauma is coming in. Patient jumped out of a moving car and apparently looks it.” Santos grinned. “All our other patients are stable, just waiting for results, so I was hoping this one could be ours…?”

She looked to Rielly as she asked tentatively. Rielly snatched her book off the floor and stood up. “For sure. How far out are they?”

“Five minutes.” Santos said in excitement—already moving back toward the trauma bays.

Rielly followed a few steps before turning in place to face Robby and thumbed behind her, “Coming, Dr. Robby?”

She spun back to the trauma bay without waiting for a response. Robby scratched the side of his jaw with a chuckle and rose. Maybe Dana would have better luck fishing for answers later. Though, he had learned enough to know the schedule needed changing.

Landry Simmons was only going to be shadowing him from now on, and if the kid survived then maybe—only maybe—would Robby take mercy on his end of rotation eval.

It wasn’t a lesson that needed teaching, it came naturally to her, but Skylar would officially never jump out of a moving vehicle. Human flesh versus high-speed asphalt wasn’t much of a competition. The patient was alive, but he had more rubble in his tissue than collagen at this point.

As a reward for good behavior, Skylar let Santos run the show while she supervised, and Robby floated around the room making sure they didn’t screw it all up. The intern had been a star though.

“How was your trauma patient?” Mohan called out.

Skylar looked up from the screen of the COW she worked on and grinned, “Alive. Shockingly. I mean, Santos did awesome, but holy shit was that guy a mess.” She picked up her pen to mark off a name from her list of patients then pointed it at her co-resident. “Just so you know, you should never jump out of a moving vehicle.”

“Did the guy at least have a good reason for jumping?” Mohan rested her hands on the side of the COW.

“Depends,” Skylar shrugged, “Do you think disagreeing with your best friend over where to get dinner is a good reason?”

Mohan’s lips curled up and she shook her head with a sigh, “I don’t know how I’m still surprised by what people do anymore.”

“Oh, give it a few more years,” Dana called out as she walked by with an arm full of blankets, “You’ll get there.” Mohan offered to take a few blankets from her to hold while Dana put them away. “Samira, where’d your shadow go?”

Skylar had returned to charting, but her attention drifted back. She managed to avoid Landry the last few hours and it had been a surprisingly easy feat considering how the last week had gone. Mohan gave a non-committal shrug, “I don’t know actually. Dr. Robby grabbed him for a case in triage. I assumed he’d come back after, but he still hasn’t. Maybe the case turned complicated?”

“Really?” Dana hummed.

“Yeah, but I don’t mind. I’ve gotten a lot done without having to argue with him about every patient.”

Dana gave a low whistle and Skylar turned from the computer to her. “What are your thoughts on that, Rielly?”

“Did Dr. Robby send you after me?” Skylar chuckled.

“Is there a reason why someone should be sending me after you?” Dana countered.

Mohan let her eyes dart between them, brow furrowed, and cut in, “I’m sorry. Am I missing something?”

Dana shot Skylar a hardened look and Mohan settled her curious gaze on the resident as well. Skylar let out a hollow laugh and shook her head. “He didn’t do anything other than be…weird and annoying.” She scanned the chat in front of her. “And has a bit of a personal space issue.”

“Pardon??” Dana said in the most ‘mother bear’ coded voice she had heard from the woman so far.

“I’m, like, overly sensitive to that kind of thing though.” Skylar muttered. When she didn’t hear a response, she glanced over to see deadpanned stares. She rested her hands on the handles of the COW and leaned back to look up at the ceiling in defeat. “Can we not make a thing of this? I don’t want to be the cause of any unnecessary drama. We’re busy enough in the Pitt.”

Dana stepped forward and rested her arms on the COW. “Sweetheart, do I need to define the word ‘unnecessary’ for you?”

“Is that way Dr. Robby took him from me?” Mohan chimed in realization.

Skylar paused, thinking back to their conversation at her workstation, then shook her head, “It’s gotta be more than that.”

“I don’t know, Dr. Robby has always been really good about that kind of thing.” Mohan replied. “When I was an intern, he reamed into a lady for grabbing McKay. Then there was the guy who punched Dana a few months ago,” She pointed to Dana who nodded, “He got arrested and he’ll never be allowed in PTMH again. Plus, do you remember when Collins’ ex hovered outside our ambulance bay for a few weeks?”

The question was directed to Dana obviously and Skylar watched as she seemed to realize something. The memory must have been returning. “Yeah.” Dana said slowly. Her eyes landed right back on Skylar with a nod. “Collins.”

Mohan seemed to wait for Dana to clarify but when the charge nurse didn’t, she started again, “Anyways, nothing gets Dr. Robby more angry than when the staff or his residents are in danger. And angry Dr. Robby is terrifying.”

Skylar tried to picture it and found she couldn’t imagine him truly angry. She had seen him all shades of irritated and annoyed with patients and Gloria and several other things. But never full blown angry. She wasn’t sure she wanted to ever see it.

Dana chuckled, “Speaking of, I need to go find him. Preferably before he kills the med student.”

Skylar and Mohan watched her go before glancing at one another with a laugh. Mohan settled against the COW again. “I came over to get your opinion on one of my patients before we all got super distracted.”

“It happens. Shoot.” Skylar replied.

Hearing Dr. Robby’s dedication to creating a safe workspace was another reason to be thankful for the Pitt. It was another reason for her to not cause any problems here.

Chapter Text

"You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you." -Brene Brown

Dana was disappointed in herself.

For at least a month now, she had known Robby was stewing over something. She prided herself on recognizing all her doctors’ tells. Dana knew the difference between Abbot being grumpy and Abbot being truly furious—the man’s highest level of anger was quieter than most would assume. She knew when Shen’s casual, type B attitude was genuine versus when he was putting up a farce to hide stress. Dana had a running list on her phone’s note app of signs to watch out for in all her little residents. Knowing this kind of information was how she kept the balance in the Pitt from tipping over—since these medical geniuses were so fucking bad at taking care of themselves—and it was why she could recognize, in a blink, when Michael Robinavitch was twisting himself up into pretzels in his own head.

Dana spotted him coming out North Wing, Donnie by his side, as he gave instructions to the nurse over one of the patient. Donnie chimed an affirmative before falling back to run whatever order Robby had requested. Dana crossed her arms and leaned her hip against the edge of nurses’ station while staring him down.

Robby spotted her and sighed, “You missed a fun one. Mel did too. Shame she’s off today—she would’ve loved pulling rubble from that guy’s side, and shit did have a ton of it.”

“Yeah, I heard Rielly telling Mohan about him.”

“Have you seen her? I wanted to check in. We got interrupted before.” Robby stopped beside her and reached over the counter’s ledge to grab a patient tablet.

“I know your secret.”

“My secret?” He pulled the glasses resting at the top of his head down over his eyes to scan the screen. “What secret?”

“The secret.” Dana replied.

His eyebrows furrowed and he huffed to look up at her. “Why are we talking in riddles??” Dana scanned his features but saw no denial. Only confusion. Robby motioned around, tablet still in hand, “Seriously. I need to lay eyes on her because I lost the fucking med student.”

Dana blinked in surprise, “How do you lose a med student?”

Robby tossed the tablet down and gave an overexaggerated shrug before pulling his glasses off and rubbing his face. “Hell, if I know. He slipped away when I got caught up with a question from Donnie.”

“You know I asked Rielly about him.” Dana said and Robby snapped to attention. “She immediately knew you sicced me on her.”

“I was not subtle.” Robby shook his head. “What’d she say?”

“He’s got a personal space issue. I don’t know fully what that entails from her…” Dana held her hands up with a sigh. “She didn’t seem to want to stir up any ‘unnecessary drama”.” Robby’s mouth fell open to argue and she knew his words before a single fell out. “Her words, not mine.”

Robby grumbled under his breath and pulled his phone from his pocket. She watched him scrunch his features in aggravation as he texted without his glasses on. Mohan had been correct. At baseline, Robby was a protective guy. For as long as she had known him, it had been his natural instinct. Yet, this wasn’t just about an attending watching out for their resident. She was finally connecting the dots that started before Landry Simmons ever cursed them with his presence. Robby was starting to orbit around the Pitt's newest resident, but it was only the start.

Dana knew his secret, but she realized Robby didn’t even know he had one yet.

With a maternal sigh, she reached out and rubbed his arm in reassurance, “I’ll keep my eyes out for the problem.”

Robby grunted an affirmative but quickly looked up from his phone in confusion, “Wait. What about the secret?”

“Oh, we’ll circle back to that eventually.” Dana chuckled and wandered away.

Skylar hummed under her breath while scanning the shelves looking for the suture materials she wanted. At some point she hoped she’d just remember where stuff got stored, but she was going on five months now and still had to search each supply room. Skylar was beginning to feel it was a lost cause. Supplies in hand, she stepped out of the room and only got a few feet from the door when she was intercepted by Javadi. The young med student, only in year three, was brilliant. Her mother was chief of general surgery, and her father was an endocrinologist who worked upstairs as well. Skylar couldn’t imagine the stress that came with that.

“Dr. Rielly,” the dark-skinned woman wearing a cute pink jacket over her scrubs bounced up, “Santos told me you were about to suture a laceration on a patient in triage.”

“I am.” Skylar nodded. “Twenty-three year old female meets commercial deli slicer.”

Javadi’s eyes lit up in excitement and Skylar chuckled. It was always funny to her the things that got people in the medical field excited. Anyone outside of medicine would probably find it a little fucked up. As the saying went, the worst thing you could be to a physician was interesting.

“Wanna join in?”

“Yes, please.” Javadi nodded and took her place by Skylar’s side as they crossed the Pitt. “I was working with Dr. Collins and she gave me permission to step away. Her cases right now are pretty simple.”

When they reached Triage One, Skylar pulled back the privacy curtain. She had already introduced herself to the patient prior to going to get supplies. The young woman, with a tanned complexion and dark hair tied up into a large bun on top of her head, sat rather calmly on the bed. She held a blood soaked rag to her left hand.

“Elena?” Skylar set the supplies on a bedside tray. “This is student doctor Javadi. Is it alright if I do a little teaching while we work?”

“Sure.” Elena smiled. “I’m actually saving up for nursing school so it’d be kind of cool to hear it.”

Skylar motioned for Javadi to take a seat on a nearby stool, “Go ahead and get her hand prepped up on the tray, yeah?”

Rather than wait for confirmation, she set out to grab another stool from somewhere else in triage. In a room around the corner, she spotted Mateo’s curly bush of hair standing at a COW and grinned. She motioned to a stool off to the side, “Mind if I steal that?”

“Depends,” Mateo said and clicked something on screen before smiling back at her, “What do I get in return?”

“Hm, my eternal gratitude and maybe a coffee from Rao’s tomorrow?”

Mateo snapped his fingers to point at her, “Deal.” Skylar chuckled and walked over to the stool. He was probably prepping to bring a patient back from the waiting room. “You about to suture up the girl in One?”

“Yeah, me and Javadi.”

“Nice.” He nodded. “Gimme a holler if you need any help.”

Skylar called out another grateful ‘thanks’ before rolling the stool back over to her patient. When she pushed through the curtain, her smile fell away at the sight of Landry standing over Javadi’s peering at the wound with his hand on her shoulder. Elena’s hand was resting on top of a chuck at working level with a nearby, separate tray of supplies. Javadi’s discomfort was clear as her palpable excitement was replaced with trepidation, and she sat with her shoulders hunched forward—as if to be as far from his as possible. Landry let his hand fall away.

“Student doctor Simmons.” Skylar said plainly. “Can we help you?”

“I was just asking Javadi if I could grab this one.”

“No.” Skylar sat on the stool and rolled over so she sat on the opposite side of the tray from Javadi who took a small breath of relief. “I already told student doctor Javadi she could have this procedure. Maybe next time.”

Landry nodded a few times, “Yeah, okay, I’ll just supervise then.”

Skylar locked her jaw at the word ‘supervise’. His presence alone reminded her of the disaster that was her central line. Trying to remain civil in front of the patient, Skylar let it go. She cleared her throat and motioned to Elena’s wound.

“Alright, so Elena said she got her hand caught in the deli slicer at her workplace.” Skylar said. The wound started at the base of her thumb and had a curve over the palm to a bit above the base of the ring finger. Most of the bleeding had been stemmed. “With an injury like this, what do we need to check first?”

“Function of—”

“Function of the nerves, vessels, and tendons.” Landry cut Javadi off.

If this kept up, Skylar was gonna find a deli slicer to stick his face into.

“Right.” Skylar replied. “Javadi, how—”

“Ask the patient to—”

Skylar snapped, “I am asking student doctor Javadi. This is her procedure.”

Landry shrugged, still hovering over the young woman, “She wasn’t speaking up so I thought she needed help answering.”

A tense moment passed between the three before Elena let out a whistle, “Dude, they can’t say it so I will, you’re being a douche bag.”

“Excuse me?!” Landry’s head whipped to glare at Elena.

“Do not raise your voice at the patient.” Skylar scolded. Landry settled a glare in her direction that pissed her off further. Did she want to cause a stir or any drama? No. Not at all. But there was no way in hell she was going to let him intimidate other medical students/residents or mistreat a patient. “If you would like to stay and watch the procedure, you are more than welcome to, student doctor Simmons. But you need to take three steps back from student doctor Javadi’s workspace and keep your mouth closed. Am I clear?” Landry’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he slowly crossed his arms. The look on his face was like a petulant child who had been told no for the first time in their life. He gave a curt nod and took a step back. Sklyar did not relent. “Two more steps.”

Landry huffed and backpedaled further.

She turned to look at Elena and sighed, “I am sorry about this, but if you’re alright we’ll continue with the procedure.”

“Don’t apologize.” Elena grinned. “That was badass. Love seeing a girlie pop in power.”

Javadi chuckled under her breath and attempted to hide it with a poor cough. Skylar bit back a smile and reset the process. “Alright. Nerves, vessels, and tendons. Our hands are a small portion of our body with a lot of complicated processes going on. What do we need to do before even thinking about suturing this up?”

Confidence and excitement returned, Javadi began to point out various structures in the hand. Technically, Skylar had already gone through this with the patient. If even one of those things was hindered, she wouldn’t have bothered fetching suturing supplies—the patient would be getting a trip to OR with whatever hand surgeon that was on today. Javadi retested movements, capillary refill, and sensation. All the results were the same, good, and Skylar nodded for her to numb up Elena’s hand.

“I do have a question, Dr. Rielly.” Javadi spoke while they waited for the lidocaine to take effect. Skylar nodded for her to continue. “I thought the usual suture material for hand lacerations were nylon or prolene…you grabbed fast gut?”

“That is a fantastic question.” Skylar grinned. “Think about it. What is special about fast gut in comparison to the other options?”

“Um,” Javadi twisted her lips, “Well, it’s a resorbable suture.”

“Yupp. I talked to Elena and she told me her work schedule right now is going to make it impossible to get back to us for a follow up suture removal.” Skylar explained. “This way, she doesn’t need follow up.” Quickly, Skylar turned in her seat and pointed at Elena. “Unless you start seeing swelling, redness, discharge or anything else funky with the wound. Remember?”

Elena held her other hand up, “Scout’s honor, doc. I promise.”

Skylar usually only used this method when she was sure the patient could care for their wound well. She rolled her stool back to grab a pair of gloves off the wall. “Alright, so because we’re using fast gut in a simple interrupted suture, I am going to do the part over the joint line and then you can pick up from there.” She picked up the needle driver and unhooked the fast gut needle from the case. She poked the needle into the skin around the wound a few times to look for a sign of pain but Elena didn’t flinch. “That’s only because fast gut doesn’t have the tensile strength a non-absorbable suture does so I want to make sure that portion is secure, okay?”

“Sure.” Javadi nodded.

It was a small portion of wound that crossed over the joint line of Elena’s ring finger. Skylar knew it wouldn’t take long to get it closed. She started and threw sutures in, one after the other, with an ease that came from experience.

On the last suture she was going to throw, the privacy curtain was ripped open with force. The sound and motioned startled her enough that she tugged too hard on the needle driver, and the fast gut line snapped. Skylar blinked at the broken suture in disbelief.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She breathed in Korean—a habit born to allow her to curse in front of patients.

“Simmons.” Robby’s voice barked. She looked up at her attending with a mix of shock, confusion, and mild annoyance. He caught her stare and his brow furrowed in response. As Landry began to speak, the attention was shifted once more. “I told you to circle back to me as soon as you were done with Central Two. Not find a new case.”

“I just wanted to see the laceration repair—”

“Go. Central Two’s labs are back.” Robby commanded. Landry shuffled away with only one backward glance of disdain in Skylar’s direction. Robby watched him leave then turned back with concern, “Everything okay here?”

Skylar stood abruptly and all eyes stared at her. She forced a bright grin, “Everything is great, Dr. Robby. Elena, will you excuse me for a minute?” Elena gave a mildly amused nod. She ripped her gloves off. “Javadi, can you remove the broken fast gut line? I am going to get some more suture material for us.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Javadi mumbled and turned to the wound as quickly as possible.

Skylar threw the gloves in the trash, sped past Robby, and made a beeline to the supply room. God, there was one person in this ED she wanted to impress and for some reason he was around to watch her every fuck up today. Worse, as if dealing with Landry wasn’t enough of a pain, she could tell Robby was growing more and more suspicious of their interactions. Skylar would love nothing more than to watch the med student fail this rotation, but she didn’t want her name anywhere near it.

She slid into the supply room and went around the middle shelf to grab more fast gut from its location. The supply room door was reopened and shut again. Skylar didn’t have to turn to know who had followed her here.

“I’m fine, Dr. Robby.” She said without prompting.

“Never said otherwise.”

Skylar turned to find him standing in front of her only exit out. She was briefly tempted to try and body her way past him, but the botched central line taught her firsthand the size difference between them. He swung his arms to clasp his hands in front of him with a sigh, “Rielly, I need you to—”

“I’m not making a complaint against Landry.”

Robby winced and shook his head with an aggravated groan, “Why? If there’s a formal complaint then I can—”

“Because it won’t help.”

Later, Skylar would kick herself for interrupting her attending multiple times, but it had been a long shift, with still a couple hours to go, and she was officially ready to call it a day. Robby looked confused at her statement.

“This system was built for men like him.” Skylar sighed. “Maybe you weren’t paying attention when he started with us, but I was. He bragged about his entire family being filled with physicians. He comes from money, and he’s clearly gotten everything he’s ever wanted in life.” She stepped toward him and held a hand over her chest. “If I make a complaint, then maybe this hospital and his medical school will have to do something to avoid bad press, but he’ll go to his doctor daddy and doctor grandpa and doctor great-grandpa and they’ll find some way to turn me into the bad guy. Into some unreliable source and liar.”

“Rielly—”

“And they’ll be able to do it!” She scoffed and tossed her arms up. “This is my second residency, Dr. Robby. I had to leave my first and that will always follow me around like a black stain. You even hinted at it yourself when we were at that diner. Resident transfers are a problem.” Robby crossed his arms, and she couldn’t bear to meet his gaze anymore. Skylar let her eyes focus on the stethoscope around his neck. A lump formed in her throat and she had to force her word past it. “I interviewed with three other residencies who told me ‘no’. I think PTMH only took me in because you had just lost Dr. Langdon.” Skylar took a shaky breath and met his eyes. “This is my last chance. I can’t afford to stick my neck out.”

The supply room filled with a suffocating silence. Robby had readjusted his stance—his hands hidden in his jacket pockets. His head was angled down, powerful gaze now hidden, and it almost looked like a stance of sadness. But, Skylar could see the tension in his shoulders. The clench of his jaw. She prayed she hadn’t let him down.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Robby.” Skylar murmured.

His head snapped up and the sadness his figure lacked was clear in his eyes. “Don’t. Don’t be.” Robby shook his head. His features drawn somewhere between a smile and grimace. “I shouldn’t have pushed. I didn’t consider the position that could put you in.”

She gave a weak nod then motioned toward him with the suture. “Can I pass?”

Robby stepped to the side and pulled the door open to hold for her. Skylar shot him one last tight-lipped smile then hurried back to Javadi and their patient.

There were a string of patients Robby got tossed back and forth between. Dealing with problems as they arose. All he had time to do, other than putting out fires, was make sure Landry stayed in his line of sight. He wasn’t losing the little shit again.

Standing in the patient room, watching Landry take the history of a patient while Donnie set up an IV, he spotted Collins passing from the outside. Robby hesitated a second then stepped out of the room to chase his senior resident down.

“Collins.”

She paused, still reading something on her phone, but turned to hum, “Yeah?”

“I want your take on something.”

“And that is?”

“If I asked you file a complaint on Landry Simmons what would you say?”

Collins slowly looked up from her phone with a quizzical furrowing of her brow. “Come again?”

Robby could file a complaint himself, but they'd request proof. He could offer an anonymous quote from one of his residents, but it didn’t pack the same punch as something that was signed with a name.

“Just answer the question.”

“Would I file a complaint against him?”

“Mhmm.”

“No.” Collins shook her head and began to walk away.

Robby huffed and caught up with her pace. “Why not?”

“Because I’m a minority, a woman, and I’m in my last eight months of residency.”

Robby punched his hand into his fist with frustration, “So, it’s the fear of retribution?”

“Fear of it? Fear infers that there’s maybe a chance it won’t happen.” Collins scoffed. “Does Landry Simmons, with his long lineage of physicians, seem the kind to admit wrongs and apologize? Accept punishment with grace?”

Collins was right. Robby understood the moment Rielly said it herself. Asking Collins was redundant. He was so determined to take the course that protected his residents that he didn’t pause to think of how that path could harm them as well. Robby felt stupid for not seeing it.

“Why?” Collins asked.

Robby held her gaze for a beat and then grinned. “No reason. Nothing you need to know about.”

“And that means…”

He shrugged and left Collins to the nurses’ station. Robby glanced over his shoulder to the room he left Landry in and still saw the kid by the bedside. Reassured, he rapped his knuckles against the counter and called out for his charge nurse who stood at her computer working.

“Dana.”

She glanced over her shoulder to him with a smirk. “Rogers said yes.” Robby briefly let his head hang back with a sigh of relief and pointed to Dana with a nod. Dana just chuckled with a shake of her head. “You’re devious, you know that?”

“Only when I need to be.”

“Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

“As if I could ever pull a fast one on you, Dana.”

Landry stepped out of the patient room and Robby waved one last time to Dana before meeting the kid in the hall.

“Dr. Robby, I’m ready to present—”

“Great!” Robby chimed and nodded for Landry to follow. “Walk and talk.”

The path Robby took was one that led to one of the few quiet areas of the Pitt. Landry was presenting the whole time, but he tuned out the kid’s voice. Shift change was soon, and Robby would just circle back to check in on that patient himself. When they were separate from the traffic of the Pitt, Robby stopped.

“I think we start by ordering a few labs like—”

“Uh huh.” Robby stuck his hands into his pockets and shook his head. “You are not coming back to the Pitt, Landry.” The med student stared blankly at him. “Today was your last day.”

Landry stammered over his words before managing to scoff, “Wait, what?”

“Oh, don’t make me repeat myself.” Robby chuckled. “As much as I’d enjoy it, let’s spare your pride, hm?” He rubbed the side of his jaw. “Don’t worry. I have something lined up for you. Dr. Rogers is the chief emergency medicine physician over at UPMC Mercy. Take tomorrow off, and then the day after you start your EM rotation there.”

“Dr. Robby, I—I think there’s been some miscommunication, and I wish you’d let me—”

“No, no. I think I’ve gotten the gist of it all.”

Landry had his hands on his hips as he huffed and puffed. Anger settling over his features. He pointed accusingly out toward the main room of the Pitt. “Did Dr. Rielly make a com—”

Robby took a quick step toward the kid. Landry immediately paled. His words falling silent as his shoulders hunched in response. Without missing a beat, voice as firm and stable as he could keep it. Yelling wouldn’t get his point across for this.

“Let me make myself so fucking clear.” Robby said. “This decision didn’t come from anyone other than me. And if you get it into your head to blame anyone else from this ED, go after anyone else from this ED, I will spend the rest of my career making sure you never have one.” Landry swallowed thickly. “But if you leave this alone? Go to Mercy and finish your rotation? I’ll forget you ever existed, and I promise you, student doctor Simmons, you want me to forget you.”

Landry weakly nodded.

“Grab your shit and get out.”

Robby enjoyed watching Landry stumble over himself to rush away more than he probably should have. Dana was gonna be disappointed she missed it. He mussed the back of his hair and made his way back out to the nurses’ station. He found Abbot sitting at their shared workspace.

“You’re here early, brother.”

“Yeah, I just missed you too much.” Abbot scoffed. “How’d the day go?”

“I just kicked a med student out of the Pitt.”

“No shit.” Abbot hummed. “The one that looked like a little weasel?” Robby nodded in confirmation. “Huh. What for? McKay mentioned he thinks he’s God’s gift to earth and the next Alexander Fleming.”

Robby walked him through the day. Abbot’s mild amusement shifted to irritation quickly. His longtime friend also had no patience or leeway for this kind of shit. Abbot rested his head behind his head and leaned back in his chair.

“You’re fucking kidding me?”

“Wish I was.”

“Little fucker.” Abbot scoffed. “And you just sent him packing? Kicked that can down the road?”

Robby rolled his eyes and leaned against the station. “Sorry, I couldn’t fix the entire medical political system today. I’ll try again tomorrow.” He shook his head. “Sent the kid to Rogers at Mercy.”

Abbot raised his eyebrows, “Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

“Rogers is gonna fucking ream him.” Abbot chuckled.

Robby shrugged, but that was his hopes. Dr. Samantha Rogers was a newer attending with a lot of pull. Board certification in emergency medicine, cardiothoracic surgery, and psychiatry. Robby was pretty sure she was collecting accolades just for the hell of it. With those accolades came a lot of reputation and power. If Rogers decided to ruin the kid’s life herself? Well, there weren’t many people in the country that could go toe to toe in a fight with her.

“Alright, you wanna check out?”

“Talk to Collins. I need to catch Rielly.”

“She okay?”

“That’s what I’m checking.” Robby replied already halfway from his workstation to Rielly’s.

Tomorrow at morning rounds he’d give a vague explanation as to why Landry was no longer with them, but he did need to reassure Rielly that there was no target on her back. She had been right about several things and what made his chest ache in misery was her talking about the transfer. Residency was a broken system. That wasn’t news. Over the years, the only answer anyone had come up with to battle that brokenness was to ignore it.

Incredibly ironic for a population trained to heal and solve problems.

“Rielly,” He called out on approach and she looked up from her computer to him, “Can we talk?”

“Dr. Robby…”

“Please? Last time I’ll bother you today.”

Rielly chuckled, “I’d hope so. Our shift is ending. Unless you planned to show up at my door tonight.”

Robby almost made the teasing comment that he did know where she lived. Almost. Instead, he crossed his arms on the counter’s ledge and slouched over so he could keep his voice low. Rielly seemed to notice the weight of what this conversation would be and a worry settled in her dark eyes.

“Landry Simmons is never working in the Pitt again.”

It took half a beat for the words to dawn on her. When they did, Rielly startled him by jumping up from her seat. Worry snapped to alarm, and Robby thought he saw a tremor in her hands right before she pressed them to her workstation’s desktop.

“Rielly…” Robby said slowly. It was as if she were choking on her words. All she could do was shake her head weakly. He reached out, holding a hand out to her without touching her, “You’re not involved. I made sure of it. I give you my word that he is not coming after you or any other resident or med student here.” A crease formed between her eyebrows as her features crumpled—a look he found more devastating than it should’ve been. “And I need you to understand that you are safe here. You are a good doctor, a smart and caring one, and I can already see your graduation, alright? Nobody is taking you from this residency, nobody is fucking this up for you. Okay?”

Robby waited and watched for a break in her demeanor. He wondered if she was studying his features for some kind of tell. The same kind of sign he was searching for. Finally, something changed. The crease smoothed out and a tired relief settled across her face. Robby smiled. Watching Landry stumble away had felt good, but it only felt like an actual win now.

Rielly’s hand suddenly grasped his own. His smile faltered, startled at the contact, and she gave it a squeeze. Her touch was soft, but her whispered gratitude was softer.

“Thank you.”

“Uh, yeah.” Robby cleared his throat. Rielly let go of his hand and he forced himself to take a step back. He hastily shoved his hands into his pockets. His usual habit of comfort turning to a tactic of resistance. “Of course, Rielly.”

She sat back down at her workstation with a heavy sigh of relief that managed to take weight off even his own shoulders. Robby nodded once and then turned on his heel to hurry away. He turned his head to the left and right, trying to stretch out the tension there, and cleared his throat again—trying to settle…something. Jesus, was he getting sick?

While walking back to Abbot, he scanned the Pitt for trouble. He found no medical ones, but he did find Dana staring at him with a knowing look of mischief. It only took a second, less than that, to recall their conversation earlier in the day and point A automatically connected to point B.

Oh.

Oh no.

Chapter Text

"You are built to handle the pressure that comes with your calling." -Unknown

An invisible barrier had been broken.

Skylar could give no further details or explain the claim with certainty. It just was. Ever since Robby had kicked Landry out on his ass, while ensuring the wellbeing of her and the others, her nerves had settled. As if a final straw of trepidation was blown away. Skylar hadn’t spent the last few months watching over her shoulder by any means, but there had been some fear—some internal block—that kept her on her toes. Now? She felt more like herself than she had before. Quite the feat considering Skylar hadn’t even realized she was living her life muted.

Calling the weeks that followed the incident good wouldn’t do it justice.

The days were still long, the patients were still complicated, and there were still shifts that made her question her choice in medicine at all, but no more than any other person working in this field. In summation, the days had been great because she truly felt like she had a permanent place here—that she belonged in the Pitt.

“And our diabetic in Central Three?”

Robby stood next to her, they both leaned against the nurses’ station, running through a few patients to catch up. Another exciting development was the lack of anxiety she felt with her attending. One of Skylar’s main goals was, and probably always would be, to impress Robby. She had a bad habit of people pleasing at baseline, she craved approval, but from him it was different. While the desire to catch his eye, make him proud, existed tenfold, she no longer felt like she needed to walk on eggshells around him. Skylar trusted him in a way she had never trusted an attending before, and it was because no attending had ever taken the time to make her feel safe.

“Got the A1C from their PCP.” Skylar replied. “It was 16.”

“Yikes.”

“And as for the literal hole in her leg,” she continued, “Found out that an ulcer had formed, and wasn’t healing, so she used a cream that her friend gave her.” Robby raised an eyebrow, and Skylar scrunched her nose in response. “It was black salve.”

“Double yikes.”

“Called gen surg for debridement and her MRI is pending, but if I was a betting woman I’d say it’s spread to the bone.” Robby chuckled in agreement and Skylar wrapped it up. “Got her started on IV antibiotics, if we ever get a bed upstairs, she’ll be going to it.”

“Emphasis on the ‘if’.” Robby snorted. He held his hand out at waist level. “Nice catch on the black salve, Rielly.”

With a grin, Rielly slapped the man’s hand in celebration. She never had Robby pegged as a ‘high five’ kind of guy, but he had started offering it to her as praise and Skylar ate that shit up. It was honestly embarrassing the kind of rush she’d get over such a small, little thing.

Where they were standing was right outside of South Wing’s entrance. South Wing being where the hospital access elevator was. It was why Skylar was the first to see student doctor Dennis Whitaker step out dressed in a button-down shirt, tie, khakis, and his short white coat.

Her lips parted to greet him, but Santos called out from behind her, “Well, well, well, the traitor has come for a visit.”

Skylar and Robby both chuckled as the freckled boy wilted.

“I’m not a traitor. I didn’t choose for my rotation to end.”

“We will never hold it against you, Whitaker.” Robby chimed. He motioned around. “Unless you’re late to admitting our patients. In which case, we will absolutely hold it against you.”

“Hey, y’all leave him alone.” Skylar cooed and pushed off the station to greet the young medical student. She rubbed his back soothingly. “He’s just a poor little baby hospitalist, trying to do his best.”

Whitaker scoffed, but his lips were turned up into a small smile. “Gee, thanks.” He readjusted his coat. “You know Javadi got put up into OBGYN, but you guys never bother her about being a traitor.”

“We like her more.” Santos teased and drifted over. “Now come on, you’re here for my guy in North Two, right?” Whitaker nodded. “Then let’s chat, huckleberry.”

Whitaker huffed in good nature and followed Santos away. It was sad to see Javadi and Whitaker both move on in their rotation a week ago, but everyone only wished them well. They’d eventually be on EM again. Javadi at least two more times during her fourth year, since she was only in year three, and maybe Whitaker forever after he graduated. Those in the Pitt had swung his opinion enough to get him to apply EM. Match Day was coming up in the next week or so and they'd find out if he'd be spending the next academic year with them as an intern.

“I went from hospitalist to EM.” Skylar hummed. “Does that make me a traitor too?”

“Yes, but you traded in the right direction so it’s okay.”

“Sometimes when I’m arguing with Jackson over a patient I wonder if it’s just my past as a hospitalist coming back to bite me in the ass.” She chuckled. “Karma for all the past admissions I turned down once upon a time.”

“I doubt it.”

“How so?”

Robby’s lips curled into a small smile, “Because unlike Jackson, I have a strong suspicion that you were a competent hospitalist.”

“Dr. Robby,” Skylar jokingly exclaimed, “That’s such high praise.”

His reply was interrupted by the call of ‘code blue waiting room’ over the speakers. Smiles fallen, focus in place, they rushed to the code. They weren’t the first to respond to the call. Skylar briefly felt Robby’s hand press to her back as they ducked through the throng of nosy onlookers waiting for their own illnesses to be addressed. It was gone as they split ways.

Security was moving people back as Mel did compressions on an older gentleman. Dana was already at the head of the patient bagging.

“Talk to me.” Robby called out.

“The patient hadn’t checked in yet and he came in alone. We don’t know anything about him.” Dana replied. She turned her head to shout off to the side. “Where the hell is my gurney!?”

Mel continued compressions for the next forty seconds or so until the gurney rolled up. Everyone responding knelt to make the transfer and when the patient was successfully on, Skylar tapped Mel out and climbed up to continue compressions. She wobbled slightly as the bed was lifted to its full height and wheeled away. Skylar was surprised when Robby grabbed her by the calf and pinned her leg down to the bed for support—walking alongside the bed. She didn’t let it deter her compressions and he never paused in barking out commands.

They got to Trauma One where more staff was waiting to transfer the patient again. Dana was still bagging, and Skylar felt ribs crack under the continued force of her movements. She still didn’t stop until the gurney was lined up with the Trauma Bay’s bed. Like a well-oiled machine, or perhaps a professional pit crew was the more apt analogy, everyone knew their place. When hands had gripped the sheets on either side of the patient, Skylar stopped. Hands braced her at the waist, and she lurched backwards to get off the gurney. They only left her when Skylar’s feet were steady on the floor.

Only seconds passed before Mateo was resuming compression with Perlah on the bag. Robby remained by the bed, but Skylar took it upon herself to badge into the COW and place orders as they came.

Never far behind on a trauma, Santos rushed in, and Whitaker curiously tailed behind.

“Shit,” Whitaker exclaimed with eyes blown wide, “That’s Mr. Trice.”

“You know him?” Skylar latched onto his words.

“We discharged him like an hour or so ago.” Whitaker fumbled in his coat to grab his list of patients. Skylar snapped her fingers for him to come over and when he was in range she snatched it from his hands to find the patient’s name. “He was admitted like three days ago as a direct admit from his PCP’s office.”

Skylar handed him back the list after typing the patient’s name into the computer. Robby took over the interrogation. “I want to know everything, Whitaker.”

“He wasn’t my patient so all I know came from rounds,” Whitaker ran a stressed hand through his hair, “He, uh, he had CKD and—and diabetes, but he was just admitted for pancreatitis.”

“We got ROSC.” Mateo announced.

Robby continued asking questions that Whitaker tried to answer. Skylar scanned the chart not knowing what she was looking for, but it made itself clear very quickly. Staring at the labs—at the bright, angry red numbers—made her blood run cold. Numbers didn’t use to do that to her. Fill her with the dread of knowledge.

“Fuck.” Skylar breathed in Korean.

It could have been her tone, or maybe he was starting to recognize the phrase from her, but Robby’s attention snapped to her in the chaotic room.  

“Rielly.”

She refreshed the screen twice. Just in case.

“Rielly!”

“His potassium at admin was 3.4. At discharge, it was 7.8.”

The chaos in the room paused for only a second. That was all the time the seasoned employees of the Pitt allowed themselves to soak it in and accept. Then it was back to work. As if they were one hive mind, Skylar methodically placed orders into the computer as Robby barked out those same orders, and she knew the nursing staff was pulling the orders to give before they were fully out of Robby’s mouth.

Calcium gluconate. Insulin and dextrose. Albuterol.

If only the EHR had an order set for a miracle.

In total, they lost Mr. Trice twice more before they got him stable.

Robby left Trauma One, more stormed out, and marched right up to the nurses’ station where Dana stood with the phone to her ear. She wasn’t speaking and she met his gaze with an exhausted disbelief.

“I want the hospitalist team down here now.”

Dana sighed and shifted the phone away from her mouth to speak, “I already called them.”

“How long ago?”

“Twenty minutes?”

“Call them again.” Robby snarled. “They have two fucking minutes before I’m going upstairs.”

Dana hung up the call she was on to start making another. After he had been stabilized, Rielly had fished around more in the chart. Three-day hospital course. A rising potassium the entire time he was here. Then, this morning, the hospitalist discharged him before his final set of labs had resulted.

Last night potassium was 5.9. Today? Blood drawn at 0745, discharged at 0817, potassium resulted at 7.8 at 0822, and patient was coding in their fucking waiting room at 0955.

“Incoming!” A voice yelled and Robby’s anger was shelved as he swiveled to the ambulance bay doors. Two EMTs rushed in with a girl on their gurney—no older than four. Pale skin and curly blonde hair marred with bright red blood from jagged wounds that continued to bleed. The side of her face, her neck, her right arm, left thigh, abdomen. Robby caught speed with them.

“Abigail Straghten. Four-year-old female attacked by dog at home.”

“Take her to Trauma Two.” Robby commanded as the EMT continued to deliver vitals. McKay slid into the room and jumped into care. At the sight of her, Robby took a back seat and listened as she began to call out orders.

The girl wasn’t coding, but she was dangerously unstable. Teetering on the edge. Robby caught the eye of Princess who had finished getting the girl hooked up to the monitors. He nodded once, McKay’s voice still the loudest in the room, “Call the pediatric intensivist, if they don’t have room tell them to make it, the second she’s stable, she’s going upstairs.”

Princess nodded and she ran to the phone in the corner.

“Dr. Robby!” McKay yelled from the head of the bed. “Her left IJ is torn!”

“Fuck.” Robby spun to Princess. “Call vascular surgery right now, she’s going up to the OR. Have them meet us there.”

“Abigail!? Abigail!?”

Robby pointed to McKay, “Keep pressure, get her to the OR. Go.”

The entire team was on the move wheeling out the back of the Trauma Bay just as quickly as they had come in. Robby stepped back out where a hysterical, older woman in blood-stained clothes was frantically searching. Security had caught her by the ambulance bay doors and Dana was trying to calm her.

As he approached, Dana glanced his way and confirmed she was family. Robby held his hands out, “Ma’am?! Ma’am! I—”

“Where is Abigail!? Where is she!?”

“She is going up to the OR right now for surgery. I need you to explain to me what happened.”

“The OR?? Surgery!? Is she—”

“Tell me what happened, ma’am.”

The woman was sobbing, “I—I’m her aunt. I was watching her and I stepped away for—for just a second. It was just a second! She must have—have—have got out into the yard. I heard her screaming and when I ran out, they had her—they were fighting over her and with her and—”

Robby narrowed his eyes. “They? They had her?”

“The dogs!” She wailed.

Plural. Jesus.

“How many dogs?”

The woman stared blankly at Robby. The hesitance and silence were deafening. Robby’s gaze hardened and she broke into sobs again. She shook her head and pulled at her hair. “Eleven. Eleven of them. They’re not—They’re not my dogs, I swear.” Robby closed his eyes and took a slow breath. “They’re my boyfriends and I just—”

“Get her to family waiting.” Robby said in a low voice.

Somehow, Dana heard him over the woman’s cries and began to corral her away. Robby covered his face with his hands and took two more slow breaths. No matter how hard he tried to not picture the attack, it flooded his mind anyway. Finally, he let his hands drag down his face and to the back of his neck where his fingers laced. He looked to Olsen, their head of security, who looked equally as ill.

“Call the police.” Robby murmured. “This’ll need to be investigated.”

“Got it, boss.” Olsen replied solemnly.

Robby watched the guard walk away and sighed. Cases involving kids were always the worst, and he prayed in the future he’d be haunted by a living child’s worst day and not the ghost of one.

“How could you be so fucking stupid!?”

The voice was a familiar one. Dr. Jackson.

Robby pulled his anger off the shelf.

“How about you restart this fucking conversation??” Skylar snapped.

When Dr. Jackson and his intern came down to the Pitt, the situation became clear. Miscommunication. Dr. Jackson told his intern, Miles Turner, to discharge the patient immediately. Intern followed instructions to a ‘T’, and Mr. Trice was sent out before his final lab results had returned. The simplest mistake came at a near deadly cost.

“This is none of your business,” Dr. Jackson yelled back to her, “I am talking to my intern.”

His intern looked near tears. The boy was dark skinned with short, curled hair that made him look even younger than he was. He wrung his hands in front of him—a tremble in his frame. The yelling was catching attention from the rest of the Pitt because her, the hospitalists, and Santos stood out in the hall where anyone could see.

Skylar replaced volume for venom as she hissed, “This is not the place for this conversation. Let’s step aside.”

“I’ll lecture my dumbass intern how I see fit—”

“You think this is his fault alone?”

Dr. Jackson scoffed and stormed toward her, “Are you insinuating this is my fault?!”

“You’re the upper. He’s your responsibility. What excuse do you have?”

“Ridiculous.” Dr. Jackson laughed in her face. He stood close enough that she had to tilt her head up to meet his glare. “You bitch about us not clearing beds upstairs and then when we try to work quicker—”

“Hey, dumbass.” Skylar spat back the same insult. “When we ask you to clear out the beds upstairs, we mean discharge them home not to the fucking afterlife.”

Skylar didn’t hear his approach. Only felt his presence as it settled behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to know it was Robby. Dr. Jackson immediately took a few steps back and as space was created between them, Robby stepped around to stand in front of her.

“Dr. Jackson, I would like a word in private.” Robby said in a steeled and steady voice. His entire frame was more stiff than she had ever seen, and the back of his neck was flushed red.

“Of course, Dr. Robinavitch.”

Dr. Jackson turned to walk toward a more secluded portion of the Pitt and Robby stalked behind him like the shadow of death.

Skylar rubbed the side of her face with her shoulder and blew out a breath. After all the action in Trauma One, followed by the near brawl when her least favorite hospitalist showed up, her hair was falling loose from its clip. Santos cleared her throat and Skylar met her eyes just to watch her nod toward the other intern.

Miles hadn’t moved an inch. He may as well have been a statue.

This was the first time she was meeting this intern. Skylar really didn’t know many of the internal medicine crew, and she sighed. Her mouth fell open to offer something—anything—but it was not her voice that filled the air.

“Dr. Rielly!” Mel jogged over. She paused to stare at Miles for a second then shook her head and focused back. “Um, we need you.”

“We?”

“Kiara and I.” Mel pointed over her shoulder. “We have a, uh, Korean woman that we were hoping to grab your help with.”

“Sure.” Skylar groaned and looked to Santos. “Can you…?”

Santos nodded then wrapped her arm around Miles to shake casually, “Hey, man, let’s go get a drink.” She began to lead him away as he dragged his feet. “Unfortunately, it’s just coffee, but…”

Skylar pulled the clip from her hair and motioned to Mel, “Lead the way.”

“Is everything okay down here?” Mel asked as they walked. “It seemed…tense.”

“Understatement. Robby might kill a hospitalist.”

Mel blinked. “Oh.”

“Don’t worry. The hospitalist deserves it.” Skylar gripped her hair and messily clipped it back so dark strands stayed out of her face. “Tell me about the patient.”

“Right.” Mel turned them at the station toward North. “Twenty-two-year-old female named Mrs. Harris came in with someone who claims to be her husband, and she doesn’t speak English. So he’s talking for her, but he also doesn’t seem to speak Korean?”

Skylar nodded. “Are y’all worried about abuse? Or trafficking?”

“Yes.” Kiara was the one to answer. The social worker stood at the mouth of North with her arms crossed. She wore a concerned frown. Kiara always dressed in a style Skylar considered professionally cozy. Today was a floral blouse, khakis, and a thick cardigan that she was currently jealous of. “We were hoping you could speak to her alone…”

Skylar scratched the back of her neck. “Won’t he get suspicious or upset if we try to separate them?”

“Possibly, but what other option do we have?” Kiara responded.

“Ask in front of him?” Skylar shrugged. “You said he doesn’t speak Korean, right?”

Mel and Kiara shot one another a look without speaking then back to her.

“Well…” Mel began. “Yeah?”

Skylar waved her hand down North Wing for them to lead the way. They made their way to North One and Mel pulled the curtain back. A very young Korean woman sat on the bed with her legs hanging down as a man, maybe mid to late twenties, stood hovering over her. The differences were sharp. He was dressed in a casual suit, dark hair slicked back, and wore expensive jewelry. She wore plain clothes with no identifying markers.

“Hi again.” Mel greeted with a smile. “This is Dr. Rielly. She’s the consult I was talking about.”

“How many doctors does it take to diagnose some abdominal pain?” The man huffed.

“Apparently, two.” Skylar responded with a broad smile of her own. She was pulling the energy to wear the cheerful look from a deep and empty cup. “Tell me a little about what’s going on, Mrs. Harris.”

The man shook his head, “My wife doesn’t speak English. She’s having abdominal pain. It started yesterday. She’s been throwing up a lot.”

“Oh, do you speak Korean?” Skylar asked Mr. Harris in Korean.

He furrowed his brow, in evident confusion, but Mrs. Harris’ seemed to perk up as she lifted her gaze from her lap to stare at Skylar. She murmured, “Are you Korean?”

“Whoa, whoa, wait. You speak Korean??” He said with a frown.

“I do.” Skylar chuckled. “Aren’t y’all so lucky?”

“Look, I think we should just go. This is taking fucking forever—”

“What’s your name?” Skylar turned to the patient.

“Kim Seo-yeon.”

“That’s a pretty name. My Korean name is Park Eun-ji.”

A pause. Brief. Tense. Then she blurted. “Help me.”

It took Skylar everything to keep a smile on her face. The man stepped forward, waving his arms, and shook his head. “I want to know what you’re doing to help my wife’s pain. Speak English.”

“Sorry about that. I wanted to know if she had eaten anything bad.”

“She hasn’t.” He snapped. Skylar found the confidence of men like him interesting. As if he thought he was so above it all that he could walk in here with his prisoner and have nobody try to stop him. It also infuriated her because she knew part of where the confidence came from was experience. There were providers who let this go. Sometimes accidental, sometimes careless. She wouldn’t be one. “Didn’t they do blood work when we got here? Where are those results?”

“We can get those.” Skylar turned to Kiara. “Can you ask Nurse Rainn to bring us the patient’s labs?”

Rainn was a large anti-sexual violence organization and mentions of ‘nurse rainn’ acted as a code. She nodded once and turned to leave. Skylar turned back to the patient who sat trembling on the bed.

“Why exactly do we need so many people on my wife’s case?” The man demanded.

The elevation in his voice acted as a trigger, and Seo-yeon lunged forward to clutch at Skylar’s shoulders as she sobbed and begged for help. The man barked out in anger and Skylar acted on instinct. She twisted to shove Seo-yeon into Mel who barely managed to catch the woman. A hand grabbed Skylar’s hair, yanking her back.

She hissed in pain but was quick to twist around in response. She slammed her fist into the center of the man’s face. He released her hair and crumpled to the floor. Panic exploded around them as staff either rushed forward or pulled other patients back from the scene.

“You broke my fucking nose, you bitch!” Mr. Harris yelled while clutching his face.

“Oops.” Skylar replied. She pointed to Mel. “Leave. Hide.”

Her co-resident didn’t hesitate to drag the woman away and Mr. Harris hollered after them. He struggled to his feet just as security bodied past her to grab him. He tried to wrestle away, Skylar watched with rapt attention, and when hands grabbed at her she jumped in alarm.

Collins was pulling her back, “Just me. It’s okay.” Skylar breathed out a sigh. “What the hell happened, Rielly?”

“Uh,” Skylar raised her right hand where her knuckles throbbed an angry red, “I broke his nose.” She tried to glance over her shoulder as they walked. “He’s a trafficker.”

“Jesus.” Collins shook her head. “Bad news, we only have hall beds open for you.”

Skylar dug her heels in and leaned back, “I swear to God, Collins, if you try to put me in a bed I’ll scream.”

“I have to check your hand.”

“And I have to check on Seo-yeon.”

Collins heaved a sighed and stopped trying to pull on her. “Is that the woman?” Skylar nodded rapidly. “Fine. But then you’re getting an x-ray.”

“I’m really not, but okay.” Skylar argued.

Skylar could still faintly hear Mr. Harris, if that was even his actual name, yelling. Collins seemed to know where Mel had gone with the patient as she steered them in the direction of the lounge. When they opened the door, Seo-yeon was crying in a chair while Mel rubbed her back.

At the noise of their arrival, gazes lifted to them and Seo-yeon gasped.

“Thank you.” She rushed across the room and tackled Skylar in a hug. “Thank you, thank you.”

The rest of her words were muffled in sobs. Skylar gave her back some soothing pats and caught Mel’s attention. “Can you go get Kiara?” Mel popped up with a confirmation and rushed around them and out the door. Skylar carefully steered the woman in her arms back to a chair and shared a heavy look with Collins. She sighed and spoke in Korean, “Seo-yeon, can you tell me if you’re hurt?” She shook her head, rubbing at her red-rimmed eyes as her shaky breaths rattled her small frame. Skylar sighed. “Can you tell me how you met that man? Where you’re from?”

“My family is from Seoul.” Seo-yeon hiccupped. “We came to the US on vacation to visit—visit my mom’s friend in New York City. We were walking home after dinner and I—I—I stopped for just a second to look at—and he—he grabbed me and—”

The rest of her words were unintelligible amongst her tears, but one dreadful clue stood out to Skylar.

“Seo-yeon,” She started, “How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Jesus Christ.” Skylar mumbled and Collins caught the distress. She sighed and met the woman’s worried gaze. “She’s only sixteen.”

Collins’ already heavy shoulders deflated a bit more.

“I want my mom.” Seo-yeon covered her face again.

Skylar flexed her hand, forming and releasing a fist, and winced at the strain over her sore knuckles. A thought occurred to her, and she shifted away from the girl to fish out her phone from the side pocket on her scrubs’ pants.

“Seo-yeon, do you know your mom’s Kakaotalk ID?” Skylar unlocked her phone and opened the yellow and brown communication app she had saved on her phone. She only used the app here or there to touch base with some of her relatives overseas. Seo-yeon’s eyes widened and she nodded. Skylar leaned over to let the girl type it in and when the profile was found the girl burst into a new round of tears. Mel and Kiara chose that time to return. Kiara was wheeling a portable translator with her—the worker on the screen already present and ready. “I’m going to speak to her first because I need you to eat and drink something for me, alright?”

“I think Rielly has a way to contact the girl’s parents.” Collins updated the others. “She’s only sixteen.”

Skylar stood and after a quick glance to Kiara they made the swap.

Mel and Kiara sat down on either side of the girl with the translator service up and running. Skylar stepped out of the lounge, Collins on her heels, and tried to make a call. It didn’t connect. She sighed and settled at the nearby station to lean against with plans to keep trying. Surprisingly, Collins had disappeared from sight. Skylar tried twice more to no avail, and her senior resident returned with a bag of ice.

“I told you I’m fine.” She chuckled. “We have a thousand other patients to see.”

Collins shot her a dry look and Skylar rested her right hand on the counter in defeat. Skylar continued to try and get a call to connect while also trying not to wince or hiss when Collins manipulated her knuckles looking for a break. When her senior resident seemed appeased, she set the ice pack on her hand.

“Told you so.” Skylar grinned.

“Oh, you just keep smiling.” Collins teased. “Wait until Robby gets his hands on you.”

Collins walked away and Skylar called after her, “Wait, don’t tell him!” It was a losing battle to hide what happened from the chief physician. Every happening in the Pitt went back to him. But, she’d love to keep it under wraps until at least shift change. “Collins—”

“Hello? Who is this?” A new voice demanded over the line and Skylar’s eyes widened. “Why do you keep calling my number, I—”

“Hi, I’m Dr. Rielly and I am a physician in Pittsburgh. Do you have a daughter named Kim Seo-yeon?” She said. There was a long pause and Skylar worried the woman had hung up on her already. “Hello?”

“Seo-yeon? My Seo-yeon?” The woman’s voice was wavered, and Skylar let out a slow sigh of relief before diving into the story and updating this mother on her missing child.

Santos felt for the guy. She really did. Miles looked like he was a second away from running into traffic, and she knew firsthand the gut punch that was a medical mistake. She could still remember with sharp clarity the way her stomach fell out her ass after Rielly announced the GFR of her patient a few weeks back. Santos had gotten lucky. The patient had recovered well, no long-term damage to her kidneys, and her attending and upper resident had tried to teach—not just yell.

Miles wasn’t so lucky. So far, Mr. Trice was still alive. Santos hoped like hell it stayed that way because he did not have the same setting as she did to make those mistakes. Watching Dr. Jackson start to rip into Miles, out in the open, gave her a flash back of when Langdon did the same to her. The additional layer of humiliation added to the shame was sickening.

“Don’t worry about it, dude.” Santos offered. Though even she recognized it was a weak reassurance. She had walked him to the cafeteria to grab coffee because the sludge in the lounge would’ve surely only made him feel worse. Now, they were on their way back and he still hadn’t said a word. “Jackson is a fucking tool.”

“Dr. Jackson didn’t almost kill the patient. I did.” Miles murmured.

Santos almost replied that ‘it wasn’t his fault’, the words were the natural next comment, but she bit them back. Because technically it was. Even back when Rielly was claiming she held the same amount of wrong as Santos did with the patient, it never felt right. Her upper resident could repeat it a million times, but deep down Santos knew it was still on her. She clicked the button that said, ‘place order’ just like Miles clicked the button that said, ‘discharge home’.

Their names would forever be linked to those actions—those mistakes.

“Look, residency sucks.” Santos shrugged and motioned to him with the unopened bottle of iced coffee she held. “We get paid less than minimum wage considering the hours we work, we feel like idiots more times than not, and, in your case, your senior resident might actually be the antichrist.” Miles cracked a smile. “But we live, and we learn. I fucked up not too long ago too, and you know what? I am never going to make that mistake again. That patient will forever live in my head as a reminder. My bet is, you are never going to discharge another patient without checking that all results are back.”

Miles sighed, “Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Santos.” She held the coffee up in a ‘cheers’ motion. “I thought you were crazy for wanting to be in the Pitt, but now I think you’re pretty lucky.”

“I am.” Santos agreed. As an intern, she was vaguely familiar with Miles. On their orientation day, Santos got to meet all the interns starting in the hospital—from all the different residency branches. EM was the smallest of the three, the other two being IM and OBGYN. Her and Thompson were the only EM interns this year. There was talk that next academic cycle the residency might pick up a third. “And, hey, the good news is—there’s a significant chance Jackson gets murdered here soon.”

“You really think Dr. Robby is that pissed?”

“Oh, yeah, but I don’t see Robby killing a resident anytime soon. Gloria would never leave him alone.” Santos smirked. “Rielly, on the other hand…I’m pretty sure she dreams of the day she can hit Jackson with a car.”

Miles let out a laugh that was washed out by the usual cacophony of the Pitt as they re-entered. His phone chimed and he pulled it out with a wince. “That’s Dr. Herrera. I gotta go.” Santos had heard Herrera was a decent attending, hopefully she didn’t take this all out on Miles. “Thanks again.”

“Come hang out when you have time. We’re always happy to have you.”

Miles nodded and jogged away. Santos let out a low whistle and shook her head in shock. The IM residency sounded fucking awful. As if Jackson wasn’t a good enough reason to avoid it like the plague, they were all so formal with one another. It would drive Santos up a wall. She glanced around looking for Rielly—she had bought the iced coffee for the woman knowing she didn’t like drinking the stuff hot. Yelling caught her attention, and she peeked her head into North Wing just in time to watch her upper resident twist in place and punch the man holding her by the hair.

The guy crumpled and Santos grinned.

“Santos, we need some hands here!” Someone called out from behind her.

She did a double take before falling back to help Donnie.

Yeah, the Pitt was way better than whatever was happening upstairs, and Jackson seriously needed to count his days.

Robby marched back into the center of the Pitt with an annoyed huff. Yelling at Jackson had certainly allowed him to burn out his anger, but the look of irritation Jackson wore the entire time told him the lecture would change nothing. It was why he had also texted Herrera an update. Maybe he’d take the IM attending a little more seriously.

Coming back into the flow, things had gotten—Well, Robby wasn’t even going to think the ‘Q’ word. He wasn’t tempting fate right now. The ambulance bay doors slid open, and two officers strolled in.

“Great,” Robby changed course to meet them, “You guys here for the pediatric dog attack?”

“Yeah—”

“Perlah, can you take them to the family room.” Robby grabbed the woman as she was passing. “From the sounds of it, I’m thinking the family is running a dogfighting ring. Kid’s still in surgery right now.”

One of the officers followed Perlah away, and Robby stared at the one who lingered. The blond officer hooked his hands under the tops of his bullet proof vest to hold casually and shrugged. “My partner is gonna grab the specs of that case. I need to see the man being held for human trafficking.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I got it.” Dana called out and jogged over. Robby shot her an incredulous glare. “He’s right over here—Psych Two.”

Robby whirled around to peer into the psych room. He had seen someone there in passing but had paid it no mind until now. The man sat on the bed in the plain room, handcuffed, as Olsen stood guard inside. Blood stained the man’s lower face, and his nose was twisted in an angle that would need repair.

“Thank you.” The officer stepped past them to slid into the room.

Robby ran his hands through his hair three times before snapping to Dana. “What the fuck?”

“I know—”

“Dana, what the fuck?” He scoffed. “When did this happen?”

“Five minutes ago? You were busy.”

“Why didn’t you come and get me?!”

“It happened so fast. We blinked and it was done.” Dana argued. “I only learned about it after the fact.” Robby had more questions loaded on his tongue, but she didn’t let him release them. “That jackass came in with a young girl, claiming to be her husband, Mel picked them up and immediately could tell something was wrong.”

Robby crossed his arms and began scanning the Pitt, “Where is Mel? Is she alright?”

“She’s with Kiara and the girl in our lounge.” Dana replied. There was a pause, a tone to the air itself, and if Robby hadn’t known Dana for so long he wouldn’t have even picked up on it. He furrowed his eyes into a glare and Dana hung her head back with a groan. “You’re going to be so unbearable about this.”

“Dana.”

“The girl only spoke Korean—”

Robby didn’t wait for the rest of the story—he was already on the move. Eyes scanning for Rielly with only worst-case scenarios playing in his mind. Jesus, was she hurt? Should he be peeking into patient rooms looking for her on a bed?

“Hey, Dr. Robby.”

He forced his feet to a halt at Santos’ voice and turned to her. “Santos. Where is Rielly?”

“Oh, did you hear?” Santos grinned. “Insane! I’m glad I got back in time to see it—Rielly knocked the shit out of that guy.”

Robby didn’t quite have space for confusion amongst the panic bubbling in his chest and just huffed out his question again, “Where, Santos?”

“She got banished to Triage. Collins and Dana won’t let her walk around here until the police take that guy out.” Robby was moving again. Santos called out after him. “Tell Ronda Rousey I’m working in South if she needs me!”

Triage was the usual mess, but Rielly stood at the center of it. She stood at a COW talking to Mateo. She looked alright. Hair messily hanging to her shoulders rather than being pinned back. She wore a small smile as she spoke. No major injuries that Robby could immediately see, but her right hand was resting on the COW’s flat surface with a bag of ice over it.

“One can go back to the waiting room. Two needs to be taken to a Hall bed so we can at least start working them up.” Rielly ordered. “And go ahead and pull back Ms. Leek. She needs to get an EKG now—I’m not looking to code someone else out there.”

Mateo confirmed her orders and wandered away.

Robby blinked out of his stupor and stormed forward. His approach caught her attention and she turned to look at him with wide eyes and a frown.

“Shit, did Collins snitch on me?” Rielly sighed. “I’m—”

Robby didn’t wait for her denials. He carefully grasped her by the crook of her left arm and dragged her over to Triage Three. He motioned her toward the bed and grabbed the stool for himself. She hesitated and he shot her a hardened look.

“Dr. Robby, I’m okay. Collins already checked me out.”

Rielly sat down at the end of the bed, and he rolled closer.

“Hand.” He ordered while holding his hand out to her. Rielly pouted. A look he’d consider cute in any other circumstance and later when his mind wasn’t foggy with worry, he’d beat himself up for allowing himself to think that way. “Hand.”

She set the ice pack behind her and let her right-hand rest against his palm. Tearing his eyes from her features, content that she had no injuries there, he shifted to cradle her smaller hand between his. The light skin over her two first knuckles were swollen with blossoming purple tones underneath.

“What happened?” Robby demanded as he began to palpate the bones in her wrist, each individual one, with plans to check every structure in her hand.

“Mel and Kiara were worried this girl was being trafficked. I mean, the bastard wasn’t fucking subtle.” Rielly huffed. “She spoke Korean and he didn’t, so they asked for my help. When she realized I could speak Korean, she panicked and jumped up for help. He lost it and things spiraled out of control very briefly.” Her trapezoid and capitate seemed tender as he palpated them, and he slowly pressed over them again. Rielly murmured, “The girl’s only sixteen, Robby.”

“Is she okay?”

“No injuries that we’ve noticed so far. I got in touch with her parents. They were in New York City visiting when she went missing about a month ago. They never went back to Seoul. They’re on their way here, and Seo-yeon is using my phone right now to talk to her mom.”

Robby nodded once. He was relieved to hear the actual patient of the initial case was safe and out of harm’s way. Now, he had his patient to think of. He shook his head and moved from her wrist to her metacarpals. “You somehow managed to tell me everything except the main part I wanted to hear.” Rielly stayed silent and he lifted his gaze from her hand, pausing, to stare at her. “Skylar.”

She grimaced, either at the sound of her name of the pressure he applied by accidentally squeezing her hand, and let her shoulders slump, “You’re gonna be mad.”

“Not at you.”

Rielly still hesitated before giving in, “Seo-yeon panicked. She leapt up and grabbed my shoulders and that’s when the guy got pissed or suspicious or whatever. Mel was still with me, I had already discreetly sent Kiara to notify authorities and get security. I turned to keep myself between him and Seo-yeon.” A move Robby could hardly criticize, she was protecting her young and vulnerable patient, but it still worsened his anxiety and frustration. “I shoved her into Mel’s arms so she’d be clear, but the guy grabbed me by the hair.”

“He what??” Robby snapped.

He let one hand fall away from hers to reach up and cup the back of her head. Robby didn’t feel any bumps or tears, and she didn’t seem particularly tender as he rubbed her scalp examining.

“My head is fine. Except, he did break my hair clip and I’m kind of pissed about that.”

“Then what?”

“Then this.” Rielly nodded down to her hand. Appeased that he found no injuries at the back of her head, his fingers were now acutely aware of how soft her hair was. Robby swallowed thickly and pulled his hand away to go back to palpating her injury. “I twisted before he could pull me down to the ground. Then, I decked him. And, as you can quite clearly see, I hit with my second and third knuckles meaning the chance of fracture is lower, and I aimed for his nose not his mouth—no fight bite.”

Robby pressed firmly on her fourth and fifth knuckle to be sure, those were where the boxer fractures would be found, but she didn’t seem tender there.

“You sound like you’ve thrown a punch before.”

“Maybe once or twice.” She hissed when his thumb pressed over the neck of her second metacarpal. “I took some self-defense classes a while back.” Robby had finished with his exam, but he continued to hold her hand. His thumb brushed over the angry, tender skin of her knuckles. “So…am I clear?”

Robby lifted his eyes and offered her a smile that she returned.

“Nope.”

Her smile fell, “What do you mean ‘nope’?”

“You need an x-ray. Two view.” He stood up from the stool.

“I do not. You’re over-treating. Plus,” She pointed up at him and he crossed his arms so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch her again, “You aren’t even my doctor. Collins is. And she cleared me.”

Robby smirked, “Yes, but that’s the beauty of the residency hierarchy. I’m her attending, and I’m overruling her treatment plan. You’re getting an x-ray.”

“This is such a waste of time.”

“Your health is not a waste of time. Up.” The pout returned and Robby lifted his gaze to the ceiling and took a long, slow breath. He heard her stand and only then did he look back to her. “Come on. We’re just going to stick your hand under the portable scanner, don’t be a baby.”

They were crossing the Pitt when Mel jogged up to meet them. She held out Rielly’s phone.

“Is she okay?” Rielly pressed.

“Oh, yeah, she just fell asleep is all. Kiara is working with the parents. They’re grabbing a flight and should be here later today. Probably during night shift.” Mel beamed. “We found her a quiet place to hang out.” Mel glanced to Robby then back to Rielly with a frown, “Wait, are you okay? Is your hand broken?”

“Yes.” and “No.” were said at the same time and Mel let her eyes bounce between them.

“Okay.” She hummed. “I have a patient in South Two I have to check on.”

Robby motioned for Rielly to continue walking and the woman dragged her feet. “It’s not broken, Dr. Robby.”

“You want to wager on that?”

“Depends. What’s in it for me?”

“The shift.” Robby replied as they reached the portable x-ray machine. He pulled it out from where it was parked against the wall and flipped it on. “If it’s broken, you’re done for the day. If it’s not, I’ll let you stay and work.”

Rielly tilted her chin up a bit in defiance, “Fine. Deal.” He picked up the lead vest and held it out for her to stick her arms through. “When it’s not broken, will you also apologize for wasting our time with this over-reaction?”

“Depends.” Robby mocked her earlier comment and pulled his own vest on. “Are you going to apologize for questioning your attending?”

Rielly’s nose scrunched and he recognized the look as her trying to keep herself from smiling. She set her hand on the x-ray plate for him to shoot. Robby went to change her position for the second shot, but she rolled her eyes and placed her hand in the correct position herself. As the images loaded, they removed the vests and crowded around the singular screen.

Bones appeared in fluorescent blue and both physicians studied it.

“See?” Rielly chirped.

Robby pointed over the neck of her metacarpal, “That’s broken.”

“It is not!” She argued with a laughing scoff. “Put your glasses on.”

“That is a hairline fracture—”

“You can’t see a hairline fracture this soon after the injury.”

“—and in a few days when the callus begins to form, it’ll be more clear. Broken.”

Rielly was grinning at him, “Yeah? You wanna call ortho for that? See what they say?”

“Maybe.” Robby bit back his own smile, trying not to give her an inch of room in this argument.

She turned off the machine, “I’ll tell you exactly how that consult goes. Brooks comes down here like a hurricane bottled in human skin, dripping sweat,” Robby barked out a laugh at the accurate description of their orthopedic surgeon, “Takes one look at this x-ray, and throws a bitch fit about us wasting his time.” Robby rubbed the side of his face but kept his hand there while staring down at Rielly. “Remember when Whitaker accidentally consulted him for a simple, undisplaced spiral fracture?”

Robby chuckled. “Yes. I do.”

“Do you really want Brooks to give you his ‘inpatient versus outpatient’ lecture?”

“Maybe.” He replied again, not admitting defeat. For a moment, he just studied her features—happy to she was unharmed and in a good mood. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Rielly’s grin turned soft. “Yes. I’m fine, I promise. Can I get back to work?”

“Light duty only. You’re not leaving my sight for the rest of the shift.”

“Wait, what?? We made a deal—”

“Never shook on it.” Robby began to walk away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Probably ‘cause your hand hurts from being broken—”

Rielly followed him with a laugh, “You are such a sore loser, you know that?”

A nurse called for her and she veered away to answer the question presented to her. Robby let himself take in her form one more time, reassure himself that she was fine, and then he forced himself back toward the nurses’ statin to check in. Dana was scanning the board, making note of who they could discharge soon based on her scribblings, and he noticed Psych Two was empty.

“Where is he?”

“Cops took him a minute ago.” Dana replied without looking away from her work. “They’ll be back later when the parents get here to do a full interview with the patient.”

Robby nodded, “His nose?”

“Collins fixed it before they left.” He hummed in reply. A part of him had hoped he’d get back and be able to do it himself. Dana must have noticed because she chuckled. “Don’t worry. Collins was not nice while snapping it back in place.”

“Good.” Robby mumbled. As he picked up a patient tablet, he could feel Dana’s eyes still on him. Without looking up, as he tried to find information on the young girl who went to the OR, he said, “Yes, Dana?”

There was brief shuffling, and she was suddenly settled beside him. Robby could feel her smug smile radiating in his direction. “How’s our girl?”

“Dr. Rielly is fine. She has a hairline fracture on the neck of her second metacarpal.”

“No, she doesn’t. It hasn’t even been an hour.” Dana snorted. “There’s no way you saw that on x-ray.”

He shook his head with a loud sigh, “It hurts my feelings that you both keep doubting my medical knowledge.”

“I’m not doubting your medical knowledge, I just know you hate admitting when you’re wrong on this sort of thing.” Dana replied. He finally lifted his head to glare at her and the bright grin she wore was blinding.

He scoffed, “Stop.”

“I didn’t say anything else.”

“No, but you were thinking it.”

“Fine.” Dana held out a hand up a smirk, “Can I get a high five for doing a good job working with the cops?”

Robby didn’t know whether to laugh or scoff, he settled somewhere in between as he pointed to tablet in a random direction, “Can you go do something? Literally anything. I’m trying to practice medicine here.”

“Didn’t realize you were so stingy with them.” Dana chuckled as she turned to leave.

“Good-bye.” He emphasized her going and prayed the heat in his cheeks would dissipate quickly.

Robby didn’t know how the high five thing with Rielly got started. It just did, and he didn’t have the power to stop. Not when she seemed so eager to receive them. Would he admit that it had become his allotted allowance of contact and how he properly maintained a touch barrier between them? No. He wouldn’t. Because that would be fucking pathetic of him. Robby had to maintain his sanity in some way, and if a simple high five did the trick then he deserved an award for his ingenuity.

“Dr. Robby,” McKay’s voice called, and he turned to find her approaching, “Wanted to update you. Abigail, our dog bite girl, is still in the OR. She’s stable, but she’s gonna be there a while. Vascular is having to repair a good chunk of her IJ and general surgery was called for her abdominal injury.”

“Jesus.” Robby shook his head and heaved a sigh. “Thank you for updating me.”

“Sure.” She paused. “Are you okay?” He raised an eyebrow at her question, and she shrugged. “You just look a little red—flushed.”

Robby rubbed at his face, “I’m thriving, Dr. McKay.”

“Yeah, okay.” McKay replied skeptically and ventured away.

The rest of the shift proceeded without fanfare which Robby was more than grateful for. After tucking the patients in, checking out to Abbot, and packing his bag, he scanned the room. Things seemed settled and all his residents were gone.

“You think if I text Rielly not to come in tomorrow she’ll listen?” Robby asked as he walked out with Dana.

“One, no.” Dana deadpanned. “Two, trying to have her stay home for bruised knuckles? Can you at least pretend like you’re not playing favorites.”

Robby shook his head and pointed at her. “I am not playing favorites. I’d offer that to any of my residents.”

“That’s true, I guess.” She hummed. “Everybody gets a mental health shift, but only Skylar gets the high fives—”

“I’m replacing you.” Robby replied and she laughed. “I am. I’m gonna hire a charge nurse who doesn’t bully me—”

Dana grabbed his arm and shook it, “Good luck surviving without me.”

Robby shook his head and wished her a peaceful night. They’d be up bright and early before they knew it.

Abbot shook his head as he left the patient room and shoved the tablet with the patient’s chart into the hands of the staff member overing them. He scoffed, “Why in the hell does someone show up at a packed ER at fucking 9:30 at night for a refill of their statin?”

“My favorite is when they show up a midnight to talk about a problem that’s existed for the past decade and hasn’t changed at all.” The nurse responded with a chuckle.

Abbot stalked away with a shake of his head. Sometimes he really didn’t understand people. Common sense truly wasn’t all that common. He reached out to grab a handful of antibacterial foam, and as he rubbed it in his eyes caught a familiar face. It didn’t even register fully until he was a few steps past the patient’s room.

He backpedaled quickly, praying he was wrong, and his eyes settled on resident Skylar Rielly. She sat at the bedside of a patient, the human trafficking victim, charting on a patient tablet. The patient herself was sound asleep.

“Rielly!” Abbot barked.

The young woman startled in her seat and wide eyes snapped up to meet his. He threw his hands out with a scoff, and she sheepishly rose. Rielly tucked the tablet under her arm and pulled the privacy curtain closed as she drifted closer to him.

“Um, hi, Dr. Abbot.” She grimaced.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Well—”

“Never mind, don’t answer that.” He cut her off and pointed over his shoulder. “Get the fuck out. Go home and sleep.”

Abbot had been caught up to speed on the woman’s earlier adventures and he knew Robby would shit a brick if he knew she was still in the Pitt.

“I just wanna stick around until Seo-yeon’s parents get here. She can’t speak English and I know she’s still terrified.” Rielly pleaded. “They’ll be here any minute, I’ll leave as soon as they’re gone. Please, Dr. Abbot?”

Abbot crossed his arms and glared at her, “Day shift was a mess. You spent your afternoon fist fighting a grown man—”

“It was just a punch.” She mumbled.

“—Your shift starts at 7 tomorrow morning. You’re gonna be exhausted. Go home.”

Rielly pressed her hands together, like praying, and begged, “Please. If they’re not here by 10, I’ll leave. I live like ten minutes away. It’s no big deal. I usually don’t go to sleep until 11 or 12 anyways.”

Abbot’s eyes automatically scanned her discolored knuckles, and he blew out an annoyed breath, “If they’re not here by 10—”

“I’m gone.” Rielly promised.

He glared at her a second more, hoping to convey he was serious about this, but was interrupted by a code blue. Rielly began to respond, and he snapped at her to sit her ass down before rushing to the code.

Chapter Text

"I cry 

for the life you

lived

and the one you

didn't."

Skylar was bouncing her leg rather violently as she stared at the clock on the wall. They said watched time doesn’t move, but she’d been staring at this damn, ticking clock for the last thirty minutes and it felt like it was speeding up. She looked over at Seo-yeon and let out a tired sigh. The day was finally settling into her bones, and it left her sleepy. Skylar still couldn’t bear to leave the girl alone though. Not after all she’d been through. She pulled the blanket higher, over the girl’s shoulder, and resolved to go back to staring at the clock. Unfortunately, her view of the clock had been replaced with a frowning Abbot.

“Shit.” She startled and held a hand over her chest. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Have a heart attack on my shift, and I’ll be pissed.”

Skylar tucked her hands under her thighs and offered a bright smile, “So… how’re things going?”

“Nice try.” Abbot shook his head. “Your jedi mind tricks won’t work here.”

“You like Star Wars?” Skylar perked up.

“Out.”

“Oh, come on, Dr. Abbot.”

Abbot shook his head and took a step back, motioning for her to follow, “We said 10, and I’ve already been generous with a bit extra.”

Skylar rolled her eyes, “It’s 10:02.”

“120 seconds extra. You’re welcome. Get out.”

She forced herself to stand, but she didn’t move a step away from her seat. “They could be here any minute.”

“You said that thirty minutes ago.” He argued.

“Yeah, but—”

“Dr. Abbot?” A new voice injected. Skylar wasn’t familiar with the entire night shift nursing like she was with the day. The young woman had poked her head around the corner casually. “There’s an Asian couple at registration asking about their daughter.”

Skylar grinned and couldn’t help but look to Abbot in victory. Abbot shook his head and scoffed, “How’s Robby put up with you for 12 hours?”

“I grow on you eventually.” She replied. Abbot stalked away and waved his hand dismissively over his shoulder again. Skylar closed the privacy curtain and jogged over to the nurse. “Can you take me to the couple?”

The entire walk to registration, Skylar tried to steel herself for the coming conversation. It wouldn’t be a light discussion by any means, but at least this had a happy ending. She didn’t always get to share good news.

She spotted the Korean couple in the triage waiting room. Mr. Kim had his arm around his wife and looked ragged—like time had only taken from him. The grip he had on Mrs. Kim was tight and white knuckled, but the slouch in her figure made it clear why. The woman, with a face swollen from tears, looked ready to collapse.

Skylar tucked her hair behind her ears and sucked in a sharp breath.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kim?”

They jumped, near pounced on her, as panicked, desperate voices filled the air. She held her hands up trying to slow their onslaught of questions. “Please, your daughter is okay. Seo-yeon is sleeping right now, she’s safe, but I’d like to sit down and talk to you more about these circumstances.” She’d love to take them straight to her, but once reunited Skylar knew she wouldn’t get a word in. Not for some time. And she thought it best to warn them about her brittle state. “Then we can go see her.”

“Yes. Yes. Just please—tell us.” Mr. Kim demanded.

Skylar offered them a small smile and nodded for them to follow her.

Abbot had lost track of time. A family of four were brought in with accidental carbon monoxide poisoning. All of them were stable and would make a full recovery, but the teenage daughter had been touch and go for a bit. It kept him busy. By time he got around to looking at a clock, it was nearing midnight. Not a significant marker to his shift for him to notice. It wasn’t even the halfway point. The only reason Abbot mentally made note of it, 2357 exactly, was because at the same second he spotted Skylar Rielly.

Still fucking here.

“I’m gonna kill her.” Abbot grumbled.

“Wouldn’t recommended it.” Bridget chuckled. The night shift charge nurse was scanning the tracking board for discharges.

“I told her to leave hours ago.”

“She was helping that Korean couple and their kid.”

“She’s got a shift in seven hours.”

“Oh, no." Bridget dragged the work out in a mocking tone. "An ER physician with no work/life balance? Insanity.”

Abbot rolled his eyes and pushed away from his workstation to chase down the resident. Once upon a time, he probably wouldn’t have cared so much about a stray resident overdoing it. He spent most of his early years in medicine doing just that. Abbot would be a hypocrite to judge the woman. However, that had been a long time. Residency may not have changed, but he had. Robby and him both agreed, when they started on as attendings, that they would do better than the physicians before them. It was a losing battle trying to convince a young doctor to find balance in their life, but Abbot was no stranger to lost causes.

Midway to her, Rielly looked up at caught his eye like a deer staring down the blinding headlights of a semi. She averted her gaze as quickly as possible then turned in place as if she was going to slip away discreet and unseen.

“Don't even think about it, Rielly.” Abbot barked. “About, face.”

“Dr. Abbot,” Rielly spun back to him with a broad, charming smile, “Funny story—”

“What part of what I said wasn’t clear to you? Am I speaking fucking French or something?”

Rielly wrung her hands together and shrugged, “Désolée?” Abbot recognized the French apology and refused to give her the satisfaction of a chuckle. She sighed and her smile fell. “They had a lot of questions and—” Her voice cracked, and he recognized the look of self-disgust at the slip up. “And Seo-yeon opened up a bit more about…about what happened.”

Abbot’s shoulders deflated and he sighed, “She alright?”

“No.” Rielly wouldn’t meet his eyes. “But she will be. Eventually.” Abbot studied the tension in her frame and the flash of something unrecognizable across her features. She steeled herself and took a slow breath before meeting his gaze. “I’m sorry to hold up one of your beds, but I put in some extra orders for her. STI testing, and a psych consult. I doubt anyone will come by tonight, but first thing tomorrow morning I’ll get her—”

“Don’t worry about it.” Abbot cut her off. “One extra bed won’t make or break the flow down here, and if she needs it…” The young woman nodded thankfully. “It’s officially time for you to call it, Rielly.”

“I agree.” She chuckled. “I was just wrapping up. Promise you won’t find me wandering around the Pitt anymore tonight.”

Abbot pointed at her in a mocking threat, “I better not.”

He walked back to the nurses’ station to see which patient was next on the board to be seen. Abbot had only scanned it for a minute, less than, when Bridget answered a call over the radio.

“Mass casualty incident in progress.” He froze as the EMT continued on. Everyone in the vicinity slowed to a stop. “Apartment complex fire in Hill District. Emergency services are on scene. Injured residents to be evacuated between Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center and Mercy.”

Murmurs broke out, and Abbot nipped it in the bud quickly.

“Bridget, call out. Get an estimate.” Abbot barked out. “Dawn, Keith, get our discharges out ASAP. Jones, LeAnn, Keyla, start moving our level fours and threes to Family Medicine—one of you call the FM physician on call. Dr. Ellis,” He turned to his night resident who had stepped out of a room, “Get started on setting up triage.”

Everyone went on the move, jumping into action, and Abbot rolled his neck with a groan. Shen was the physician on call to bring in should things get out of control, and he was weighing the need in his mind. Bridget would be able to get him a better estimate on patients and once that was known he’d make the call on bringing the young attending in or not.

Abbot focused back in, ready to start grabbing extra supplies, and his eyes landed on Rielly. She had been passing the nurses’ station to the ambulance bay doors but had clearly paused when the call came through. She said nothing, just held his gaze, and after a beat Abbot nodded in confirmation. He was gonna need all the hands he could get.

Luck was a funny thing to define. By all measures, Skylar should consider herself unlucky. To have a mass casualty incident called just as she was finally trying to leave for the day was rough. However, as another burn victim was rolled in from triage, it was hard to see it that way. The patients needed her. Her co-workers needed her. Skylar was honored to act—to help. According to those around her, this wasn’t nearly as bad as what they had seen months ago. She had heard about the nightmare that surrounded the Pittfest Shooting, but without an active memory of it, it was hard to understand the comparison.

The incident was busy enough that Skylar hadn’t stopped moving the last hour and a half, but not hectic enough that they needed to call in anybody other than Dr. Shen to aid in care.

“Need some help over here!”

At the plea, Skylar wrapped up what she was doing and rushed over to where a nurse was collecting intubation supplies. The patient was one of the first responders—a fire fighter. He still wore most of his gear, only his heavy jacket having been removed, and he was struggling to breathe as his oxygen sats began to dip despite already being on oxygen. His dark skin was covered in patches of soot that collected on his sweaty skin. He was burned. The base of his neck, his right collarbone, right shoulder. Significant, but not deadly. The worst of his injuries were the black soot that existed around his nose and mouth. Lung damage from smoke inhalation.

“Tube size, Dr. Rielly?”

“8.5.” Rielly commanded and stood at the head of the bed waiting for it. A sharp gasp made her glance down to where the man’s eyes had snapped open. Dark eyes filled with horror and pain stared up at her. “Hey, hey, you’re okay.” She called out for the medications to sedate him, and a hand wrapped around her wrist snapped her gaze back to him. “Sir, I’m going to—”

“The woman—” His voice was hoarse and pained. “She—”

“It’s okay. We need to—”

“Pregnant—” He forced out. “She—Help her. Where—”

“Dr. Rielly?” The nurse returned with the medications and tube.

“Push it now.” She ordered and grabbed the intubation gear. The fire fighter’s eyes fluttered close just as his sats dropped to the 70s. Rielly took hold of the Macintosh blade in her left hand and moved forward with the intubation. “Got it. Bag.” The nurse handed her the bag and she connected it to confirm location. When the carbon dioxide detector flashed yellow, she sighed. “Alright, swap with me.”

A long time ago, Skylar had gotten very good at placing her emotions in a box. It made scenes like this a lot easier to manage. Assess, decide, and treat. It was efficient. It was necessary. Every non-logical thought stayed locked in the box, and it made this methodical. Almost easy to swallow. With every blink, came a new patient. Some saved, some lost. Not a single one emotionally processed. She’d save that for later.

Moving from one patient to another, a screaming woman being wheeled in caught her eye. The young woman was pregnant, and Skylar thought back to the fire fighter’s words. On instinct, she drifted over.

“Please help me! Something is wrong—something is wrong with my baby!” She was sobbing between body racking coughs and wheezing. “Please!”

Abbot got to her first, “How far along are you?”

“31 weeks.” Her wheezing worsened.

Abbot scanned until his eyes landed on Skylar. He pointed to her as giving instruction, “Get in touch with whoever is on call for OBGYN. We need them down here now.”

“Calling OBGYN.” Skylar repeated the order. A closed loop communication trained into her years ago. Abbot helped pushed the gurney deeper into the Pitt and Skylar rushed to a phone to call whatever night resident was holding the phone for OBGYN. They answered on the first ring, and Skylar dover into report. She only got halfway through when the next patient was being rolled in. “Just get down here now.”

Skylar slammed the phone down, harder than she meant to, and sprinted to the gurney where staff had already begun compressions on the small patient. Airway first. As she prepped for intubation, she assessed the rest of him. No older than eleven. Pale skin marred in burns—an agonizing red of flesh with islands of black eschar scattered about it. Only seeing his anterior, the rules of nine had him at 48%. Fuck. A flicker of panic—she buried it.

Intubation successful, fluids running, the code wasn’t changing course.

Three rounds.

Seven rounds.

By the ninth round, Skylar herself had taken up the compressions. Dead skin sloughed off against the pressure of her gloves.

“Pause for pulse check.” Abbot’s voice ordered. She hadn't even heard him come up. Skylar gave four more compressions before she stopped. Asystole. Nothing had changed. The attending stood on the other side of the gurney, and she could feel his eyes boring into her. Abbot didn’t have to say anything more. She knew.

Skylar ripped off her gloves, throwing them aside, and looked to the clock on the wall. “Time of death 0247.”

The nurse next to her grabbed a marker to make note and Skylar turned to find the next patient. Abbot was on her heels. “They just radioed in. Last few victims are on route. Three are going to Mercy, the last two are coming here.”

“Great. How’d that pregnant patient do?”

“She’s intubated. OBGYN took her up for an emergent c-section.” Abbot responded. “Last I heard, her and baby are doing well.” Skylar nodded at the news. She scanned the Pitt once before focusing on the ambulance bay doors—waiting for the next to roll in. “Go. Take a seat.”

Skylar shook her head, “Why? I’m fine. We’re almost done, you said it yourself.”

“Rielly—”

“Dr. Abbot,” She met his weighted stare and spoke calmly, “I’m fine.”

And, she was. It was the adrenaline, she was sure, but not an ounce of exhaustion existed in her body at the second. Right now, she felt like she could run another 12 hours or so. Abbot seemed to study her for a beat longer before nodding. “I can grab the last two. Circle the Pitt. Check on the ones we have settled.”

“Alright.” Skylar replied and peeled away from him.

Walking to make rounds on the patients who had been worked up, Skylar pulled the sharpie hanging from her neckline and added a quick, black line to her left arm. It joined the other five.

Burns were brutal to deal with.

Of seventy-one patients, they had lost twenty-one in total. In the coming days, Abbot knew that number would continue to rise. It didn’t matter how hard they worked to stabilize those patients, many wouldn’t survive in the long run. That knowledge soured any accomplishment he felt.

The Pitt had reverted to their normal flow of care and for that he breathed a sigh of relief. Shen had decided to stick around until the end of shift which was appreciated. Abbot gave the reigns to the newest attending so he could check in with the staff—ensure everybody was settled best they could be.

Touring the ER hadn’t taken long, and the last person he found was already half out. Abbot jogged after Rielly, wincing as the edge of his prosthetic dug into the skin of his calf. “Hey.” She didn’t stop. Now outside the Pitt, he called again. “Hey!”

Rielly froze and looked over her shoulder to him. She cracked a smile and readjusted the bag on her shoulders, “I’m finally leaving like you wanted, and now you stop me?”

“You good?” Abbot studied her face, looking for a tell, but found nothing.

“As anybody would be.” She chuckled. “Learned my lesson about staying after my shift’s ended.” Abbot closed the space between them, but still her smile didn’t falter. “I’ll get a couple hours of sleep before I’m back. So, that’s good.”

Abbot shook his head. “You’ve worked twenty hours. Call in. I’ll find you coverage.”

“Nah, I’m fine.” Rielly replied. He narrowed his eyes at her, and she nodded. “Really, I am. I think…I think it’s best if I come back in. I don’t know what I would do with the day off.”

“Sleep?”

Rielly didn’t respond and a silence settled between them. Abbot could feel the cracks in her demeanor. He couldn’t see them, she was the picture-perfect example of cool and collected, but a fatigue weighed down her shoulders. And her soft smile didn't reach her eyes. Rielly readjusted her bookbag again, eyes glancing to her feet, and there was a slight waver in her voice with the next question she asked.

“Does it cancel out?”

Abbot furrowed his brow, “What do you mean?”

Rielly lifted her gaze and shrugged, “What we do. Does it ever feel like…like the good just gets wiped out? At the end of day, the best you can reach is a net neutral.” She shook her head slowly. “I saved Seo-yeon, but I didn’t save Caleb.” Abbot didn’t have to ask which patient was Caleb. He knew she had taken the loss of the eleven-year-old boy hard—whether she showed it in the moment or not. “Sometimes it just feels like it cancels out. Any good I do, any change I make, does it even matter?”

“It does.” Abbot nodded. “Go ask Seo-yeon’s parents. It matters.” He knew how she felt. He’d been there himself. Abbot was sure every physician had. Losing battles against the inevitability of death was a given. They were soldiers in a war that wouldn’t end, and sometimes it started to feel useless. “This isn’t a numbers game, Rielly.”

“Feels like it sometimes.” Rielly had her hands hidden by the long sleeves of the hoodie she wore, and she crossed her arms.

“I know.” Abbot nodded. “But numbers are black and white. You got to take every victory for what it is. The lives you save aren’t canceled out by the ones you lose. Don’t forget that.”

“Thanks, Dr. Abbot.” Rielly murmured.

“Yeah. Are you…Are you safe to go home?” He asked in all seriousness.

“I am.” Rielly chuckled. “Promise. And I’ll be back bright and early for shift change.”

Abbot almost recommended she stay home again, but he could see she needed it. Staying home, wallowing in the loss, would only be worse. He gave her a small nod. “You did a good job tonight, Rielly. I know you may not feel that way right now, but you did. Get some rest.”

“See you in a couple hours, Dr. Abbot.” Rielly joked and left.

He didn’t know Rielly well enough to get a solid gauge on the woman, hadn’t worked with her very much yet, but Robby probably knew her well. Five months in the Pitt could make anyone close. Having her return where someone could keep an eye on her was probably the best idea.

The first person Robby saw when he came in for his shift was Shen. A bad sign. Not because he didn’t like the guy. In fact, he thought Shen was a great doctor and he was the kind the Pitt needed. Robby had never seen someone so unfazed and calm about anything and everything thrown at him. No, it was a bad sign because Robby knew he was the on-call physician for back up.

“Shit.” He hissed and found Abbot at their workstation. Oddly, his friend didn’t look as wiped as he expected him to. The fact he was here and not on the roof was a feat in and of itself. Robby greeted him, “Bad night, brother?”

“Understatement.” Abbot sighed and leaned back to stretch his shoulders. “Apartment complex fire in the Hill District. We got seventy-one patients here. Lost twenty-one by the time we wrapped up, but ICU told me three more have passed since.”

Robby rubbed at his still sleep laden features. “Jesus.” He hadn’t even had his morning coffee yet. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Had enough hands.”

“Just you, Ellis, and Shen?” Robby was impressed. That’s a lot of work for three physicians.

“There were four of us in total. We had it handled.” Abbot replied. Robby narrowed his eyes at Abbot’s tone. The night physician tossed his hands up. “Rielly. We had Rielly.”

Robby had been leaning against the counter, but he pushed off to raise hand between them, halting the conversation, as his mind caught up. “Hold on.” He shook his head. “Rielly? Skylar Rielly?”

“Do we have another Rielly?” Abbot scoffed. When Robby didn’t respond to the comment, he continued. “She never left last night. She stuck around to help the Korean girl, and right as she finally was gonna go, we got the call.”

“You still should have sent her home, and just called me.” Robby argued.

Abbot raised an eyebrow at him, “Send home a capable physician who was here and ready just to call one out of bed?” Robby started to argue further, but Abbot waved him off. “It’s done. No use telling me what I should’ve done, brother.”

“You told her to call in, right? Stay home today?”

“I mean, I did tell her.”

“For fuck’s sake—”

“Look,” Abbot stood and held his hands up in mock surrender, “It’s probably best she comes in today. You know her better than I do, and she…she did not end the night well.” Robby felt his stomach drop. “Her last patient from the fire was an eleven-year-old kid. Rielly coded him for half an hour. He didn’t make it.”

Robby wouldn’t wish the aftermath of losing a kid on his worst enemy. With his long career, he had plenty of lost patient he could recall with clarity. Of all ages. But, the kids were different. Every detail stuck with him. The first kid he lost, his intern year, he could still remember what the boy was wearing. A striped shirt with a cartoon dog on the front—bullet hole tearing the dog’s image in two and all soaked by blood.

“I talked to her before she left, and she said she was alright, but…”

“But she wasn’t.”

“Like I said, I just think it’ll be good for her to be around people. You could always send her home if she’s looking worse for wear.” Abbot replied. His eyes darted past him to stare at something, and he let out a quiet chuckle. “Then again, maybe I was wrong.”

Robby glanced over his shoulder to see Rielly was walking in with Mohan. She looked different, but not in a negative way. She was wearing a pair of light blue scrubs with a black zip up hoodie over it. Her dark hair had been lightly curled and pinned back out of her face. Robby was sure she even had a touch of makeup on. Rielly said something, and both her and Mohan laughed.

“That’s a relief.” Abbot hummed. Robby didn’t necessarily agree. “You ready for hand off, then?”

“Yeah.” Robby continued to let his eyes follow her. “Go ahead.”

About three years ago, Skylar had picked up the habit of ‘dopamine dressing’. On bad days, she dressed her best and it gave her some illusion of control. She hadn’t figured out yet if it worked. Still, she tried. At the very least it had given her something to do. Skylar only got about an hour of sleep before she was up again. So, she did her hair, and she did her makeup, and she drank three cups of coffee before coming right back to the Pitt.

“How’s your hand?” Collins asked with a smirk.

Skylar was sitting on the counter of the nurses’ station. She lifted her right hand, “Still works.”

“Why are we worried about Rielly’s hand?” Mohan asked.

Santos punched her own hand with a broad grin, “Rielly took a break from medicine yesterday to play superhero and beat the shit out of some human trafficker.”

Mohan’s eyes widened and she looked back to Skylar in confusion. She chuckled and shook her head, “It was one punch.”

“Wait, so there was an actual human trafficker, and you actually fought them?”

“Only a little.” Skylar replied.

A loud clap grabbed the attention of the residents waiting for rounds. Robby approached them with Dana and Kiara by his side. They didn’t currently have any medical students rotating with them. It meant Mel and Mohan would be seeing patients on their own, Skylar would continue to supervise Santos, and Collins would look after them all. McKay was off today.

“We ready to round?” Robby asked.

“We’ve been waiting on you.” Collins replied.

Robby chuckled, “Apologies, ladies. Let’s go.”

Rounds were uneventful. Abbot and the team must have cleaned things up well after she left. Most of the burn victims had been moved up to open beds or transferred to the proper burn centers. Seo-yeon was still here, but her labs had come back clean. Skylar’s plan was for Kiara to speak to the parents so the best therapy plan could be put into place. As they wrapped up on the last patient, she turned to Santos.

“Touch base with surgery for your patient in South 19, and then pick up the next two on the board alright?”

“Roger that, Captain.”

Santos had started the ‘Captain America’ bit yesterday before she left. Skylar rolled her eyes, “How long is this Captain thing gonna last?”

“Depends.” Santos backpedaled away. “You graduate in two years, and I graduate in three. So, if you stay on as an attending or we both do eventually—”

“Okay, okay. Leave.” Skylar brushed her away. “Go get bitched at by surgery.”

Skylar badged into the nearest computer to drop a few orders, but she only got one in before a familiar hoodie entered her peripherals. She kept her eyes on the screen, “Good morning, Dr. Robby. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Dr. Rielly. How are you?”

“Peachy keen.” She chirped.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

A beat of silence.

“Heard you had a hell of a night.”

“Could’ve been better, could’ve been worse.” Skylar replied vaguely. Robby didn’t move and she knew he wouldn’t until he was appeased that she wasn’t gonna have a breakdown in the middle of the shift. She typed in her last order, badged out, and then spun on her stool to stare up at him. Robby’s lips were pressed together, eyebrows raised, and as he stared down at her she couldn’t decide if she wanted to label the look as worry or restraint. “I stayed late for Seo-yeon. The mass casualty incident got called right before I could leave. I stayed even longer to help the night crew. I got some sleep, I’m fine, and I’m ready to work.”

He continued to stare. Skylar tugged at the end of her jacket sleeve and squirmed. The longer she sat here, not moving, the louder her thoughts got. It didn’t help that Robby had a gaze that was somehow both a microscope and a laser. All seeing and cutting to her soul.

Skylar jumped up and cleared her throat, “Dr. Robby, I’m fine to be here. I—”

“I’m not sending you home.” Robby shook his head. “But I need you to be honest with me, Rielly.” He tilted his head. “If today gets to be too much—”

“It won’t—”

Robby held up a hand to stop her, then repeated himself, “If today gets to be too much, I need you to come to me. Alright?”

“Yes, sir.” Skylar mumbled.

“Good girl.” Robby nodded toward the board. “Now, go.”

Skylar grabbed her notes and stuck the folded papers into her back pocket. The goal of today was to keep moving. The beauty of the Pitt was that there was no shortage of things to keep herself busy with.

Dana got the 411 from Bridget at shift change. She didn’t need Abbot or Robby to instruct her to keep an eye on her newest resident, but Rielly seemed to be doing well. By time noon rolled around, she had seen more patients than usual, all efficiently, with no complications. Dana saw her working a few procedures with Santos, joking with Mateo, and even helping Perlah and Princess wrestle a psych patient into restraints. No signs of cracking under pressure.

The sound of yelling had her pausing in concern. She pulled off her glasses and set down the tablet she was reading through. Another yell and she sighed before following the noise.

“Are you stupid?!”

Dana picked up the pace. The commotion was coming from Central 10. She ripped open the privacy curtain after barreling through the already open door. On the bed sat a middle-aged man who was red in face and huffing. Standing at the bedside was Rielly with her arms crossed and a look of controlled patience.

“I told you—”

“Sir!” Dana barked.

He threw his arm out to point at Rielly, “This stupid cunt won’t refill my medications—”

"Absolutely not. You—" Dana was midway through yelling at him again when Rielly cut in.

“Mr. Lillie, I tried to explain to you that I cannot refill your Goody’s powder because it’s an over the counter product. Also, I wouldn’t recommend taking five at once. That’s the reason why your stomach hurts." Rielly shrugged. "You have an ulcer.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” He barked.

“How about I go get you a second opinion then?” Rielly replied. “Dana?”

Dana shot the man a glare before following Rielly out of the room. She angrily snapped the curtain shut behind them and looped an arm through hers. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Rielly chuckled. “If I got rattled from a mediocre, angry white man yelling at me I’d hardly have a career.” Dana hummed. Rielly pulled her arm away and pointed at her, “But if you could do me the biggest favor and have Dr. Robby go give Mr. Lillie a second opinion, I’d love you to death.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Dana nodded and watched her leave.

“Oh man. I think I’m gonna be sick.” The patient’s husband groaned. Santos was pretty sure it was an accurate statement based on how green the man was starting to look.

“I promise, Mr. Smith, it’s a simple reduction. In fact,” Rielly turned back to the older woman on the gurney, “It won’t even hurt a bit. That’s why we had a nurse come and give you that muscle relaxer a little while ago.”

The woman had dislocated her jaw.

“You ready, Dr. Santos?”

Santos grinned and flexed her gloved hands, “Yupp.”

“Alright, you’re gonna stand right in front of her and cradle her jaw in your hands, thumbs along her molars, and it’s just a simple pop right back into place.” Rielly instructed.

Santos nodded and set her hands in place. She gave Mrs. Smith one warning, counted, and then reduced the jaw. Just as Rielly said, the jaw made a loud ‘pop’ as it slid right back into place. As if an echo to the pop, it was followed by the retching of Mr. Smith.

Santos’ eyes widened in shock as the husband threw up directly onto Rielly.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry.” The husband moaned.

Rielly let out a quiet laugh, “It’s alright, Mr. Smith. It happens.” She looked to Santos who still stared in shock. “Do you have this covered? I gotta go pull a Whitaker and find new scrubs.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Santos chuckled and watched Rielly stalk out.

Skylar rolled her fresh scrubs up at the waist another time and tied it off. They were boxy on her frame, scratchy on her skin, but they were not covered in vomit. She needed to find a jacket somewhere though. That would come after coffee. She slipped into the empty lounge and went to the fridge. Pulling it open, the spot where she kept a couple bottles of iced coffee from the cafeteria were gone. Skylar scanned the other shelves, hoping it got moved, but her search was in vain. Her jaw locked and shut the fridge a bit harder than necessary. Skylar shook her head, took a breath, and moved on.

It wasn’t the end of the world. She hated coffee hot, but desperation won out.

Turning to the coffee pot, she found it empty, because of course it was, and she went digging for the pack of filters. As she reached up, her eyes landed on her arm, and she paused. Six faded black lines drawn messily on her inner forearm. Skylar had scrubbed at it until her skin went red, but the ghost of her failures remained.

Skylar sucked in a sharp breath and threw open the cabinet. Only five hours of her shift left, and she was doing good. Her head was above water. Skylar found the unopened box of filters and tried to tear it open. The cardboard ripped incompletely, and she huffed. Without thinking, she grabbed the edges and pulled. Filters went flying as it opened backwards and all she could do was stare. Every particle, every atom, of her genetic makeup was frozen.

Before a tornado touched down, things calmed. Rain and hail stopped to give way to the real storm. Before a tsunami crashed down, the waves would get sucked back. The usual lapping of water kissing the shore gave way to a deluge. Before Skylar broke down, there was a moment of peace. Time stilled and the world stopped spinning and if she could exist in those seconds for the rest of the life she would.

Too soon, the stillness was gone, and heat filled her chest. There was something trapped in her lungs that kept any shallow breath she took from bringing relief. Maybe it was the same black, heavy smoke that choked her patients. Their last moments were spent gasping for air—it was fitting that she suffocated in the lounge. Skylar desperately clasped at any kind of grip on her crumbling reality. She grabbed the counter to stabilize herself, but her hand landed on a coffee filter, and it slid. The sensation too like skin sloughing under compressions as she tried to convince an eleven-year-old’s heart to restart. A flash of his pale face, the only skin not touched by flames somehow, filled her mind and she finally collapsed in on herself like a dying star.

Caleb’s classmates stared at an empty desk this morning. Had the teachers taken the time to explain death to a group of kids who shouldn’t have had to face that concept yet? They’d grow without him. Learn to drive, get summer jobs, graduate high school, go to college, find love, start families, and through all that Caleb would forever be eleven. Where were his parents? They didn’t even have a home to mourn him in—a bedroom of memories to bury themselves in. Skylar had cowardly left Abbot to break the news to them. She didn’t know how she was supposed to tell a mother and father that she couldn’t save their child. The conversations where you have to destroy someone’s entire world—entire existence—with a singular sentence were supposed to get easier, right? Skylar was no stranger to giving bad news, to discussing death, but this was a child.

He was only a kid.

“Hey, hey.” A soft, feminine voice whispered in her ear. “Take a breath. Skylar, take a breath and tell me five things you can see. Can you do that for me?”

A sink filled with dirty mugs. Flyers taped to the cabinets. Her stethoscope on the counter. Six black lines. Fucking coffee filters.

“Good, that’s so good. Four things you can feel.”

The grain of the wood counter. Scratchy, over-starched scrubs. Mel’s hand on her forearm. The foundation on her face.

“Three things you can hear.”

A ticking clock. Muffled voices of the Pitt. The hum of the fridge.

“Two things you can smell.”

Antiseptic. Dish soap.

“That’s fantastic. One thing you can taste. C’mon.”

Leftover mint from the gum Dana offered her.

A hand was rubbing her back and the breaths she took filled every inch of lungs. The smoke was clear, and she found relief in the sensation of taking gulping breaths. Mel’s voice was calming and reassuring with praise. “You did so good. You want to sit down? How about we sit down?” Skylar turned in place but rather than walk to the table she sunk to the floor. “Oh, yeah, okay. We can sit here.”

Mel settled beside her and continued to hold her arm between both hands.

“I’m sorry.” Skylar whispered.

“No, no. Don’t apologize.” Mel shook her head. Skylar let her head rest back and sighed. “Do you…Do you want to talk about it?”

Skylar chuckled weakly, “Not really. No offense.”

“None taken! That’s okay.” Mel squeezed her arm. “Would you like me to go get someone?”

“No.” Skylar carefully rubbed at her face, annoyed with the makeup she wore now, “I’m okay now. Thank you, Mel. I appreciate what you…yeah.”

Mel shot her a tight-lipped smile. “Of course.” She gave a small shrug. “My first day here, I got really overwhelmed. The Pitt can be…a lot.” Skylar chuckled at the understatement. “And that had been before Pittfest even happened, but… Langdon found me in here. He told me I was doing a good job and he—he did it in a way that made me feel seen. Understood.”

From Skylar’s understanding, his last day had also been her first day, but they sounded close despite that.

“Anyways, obviously the situations are—are different. But, I think you should know that I think you’re a really good doctor.” Mel said firmly and Skylar chuckled. “No, seriously. I miss Dr. Langdon, but I’m glad we got you here and that I can call you a co-resident.”

Skylar felt a warmth settle in her bones at Mel’s sincere claim. She used her other hand to set on top of Mel’s and gave it a squeeze with a mumbled ‘thanks’. The residency setting Skylar had first known was built like a cutthroat competition. Admin seemed to think it made for better doctors, but the Pitt was proof they were wrong. And, by God, was Skylar thankful to have co-residents, camaraderie, and not competitors.  

She forced herself to stand and pulled Mel up with her. “Come on. If we stay missing any longer then Dana or Dr. Robby are gonna come searching for us.”

“Right.” Mel pulled her hands back to herself and laced her fingers together. “You know, it might help to talk about it. Not to me!” She shook her head. “I know you said you didn’t want to so I wasn’t trying to press. I just meant—”

“I know. You’re right.” Skylar smiled. “Easier said than done, though.”

“Right.”

Skylar turned to begin picking up the coffee filters, feeling a bit lighter, and Mel quickly began to help her clean despite her reassurances that she didn’t have to. When the lounge was put back together, the two of them walked back out in the mess of the Pitt. Skylar let the chaos wash over her, like white noise, and dove back in.

The end of the shift had gotten busy—a local buffet serving bad seafood sent a wave of vomiting patients through their doors—but as shift change was imminent things had calmed. Thank God. Abbot would’ve been pissed if he left the night team with a mass of level three food poisoning patients after the night they had prior. Robby sat at his workstation trying to wrap up as many of the charts as possible with hopes to clear another five or six beds in the next twenty minutes.

“Hey, Perlah, South 11 is good to go when you have a minute to take out the IV.” Rielly’s voice chimed.

“Done.” Perlah hopped up.

Rielly seemed to have done well during the shift despite it being messy. Messy wasn’t the worst thing a shift in the Pitt could be though. He turned back to his charts and managed to write a paragraph of home recommendations for a patient before he felt her presence by his side. Robby looked to her with a small smile as greeting.

“See you got stuck in the Pitt scrubs.” He joked.

“Yeah. A patient’s husband barfed on me.” Rielly shrugged. “Desperate times, you know?” Robby hummed in agreement. “Um.” She seemed like she had something to say, he could see her rolling the words around in her head, and despite having a hundred things to do before Abbot got here, he was happy to wait for her. Finally, she shook her head. “Never mind.”

Rielly began to leave, but Robby reached out and caught her by the forearm. She didn’t pull away. Only sighed and turned back to him. His eyes darted to the discoloration under his hand, and he carefully flipped her arm to see faded, black lines.

“What’s this?”

“What?”

 “The six black lines.” Robby responded knowing the clarification hadn’t been needed. She didn’t answer and he made a leap in logic with a sad sigh. “It was from last night, wasn’t it?” She nodded. “Is it…”

Rielly swallowed. “The patients I lost. Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” She replied quickly then winced. “But…”

Without releasing her arm, he stood, “Hey, let’s get some air.”

Robby corralled her to the ambulance bay doors and shot a look over his shoulder to Dana so she’d know where he’d be. The charge nurse nodded with an understanding, sad smile. Stepping outside, the small chill that remained in the air washed over them. As April approached, the weather was finally starting to warm back up, but nights were still cold. There was a bench off to the side of the bay and Robby sat her down before settling beside her. He forced himself to let go of her arm.

“Did…Did Abbot tell you about my last patient this morning?” Rielly asked in a voice just one decibel above a whisper.

Robby nodded, “He did. Losing kids are…it’s the hardest part of the job.”

“Yeah.” Rielly was staring across the street rather than at him. “I keep thinking about him.”

“Kids always stick with you. I can remember every kid I’ve lost. It’s important to find a way to…to cope, if you can.” Robby sighed. He wasn’t known for his coping skills, but since seeing a therapist he’d like to think he’s gotten better at it. “What do you usually do? After losing a kid, that is.”

Rielly’s blank stare shifted, and she was now staring at him. The pain was staggering. “I haven’t.” Robby furrowed his brow. “He was my first. I’ve…I’ve never lost a patient that young before.”

Fuck. Robby had the control to keep the curse internal. Him and Abbot both, hell Dana too, had just assumed it happened before. This was her third year acting as a physician. If they had realized, this day would have gone differently. The first was always the hardest. The first could define you.

“The hospital I worked at with my previous residency wasn’t a trauma center like this place.” She shrugged. “Plus, we were in the same city as a children’s hospital so kids never came to us and I never had to admit one. As a hospitalist, the youngest patient I lost was nineteen. Which still sucked but…” Rielly leaned her elbows against her knees, so she was slouched over. “I knew coming here it would happen eventually. I kind of thought I’d be ready for it, but…”

Robby shook his head, “That’s not something anyone can be ready for, Rielly.”

“Yeah, I realize that now.” She chuckled with a tired smile. “It’s just…not fair.” Her eyes were glued to the ground. “Robby, he was only eleven.”

Her voice cracked at his age and her hand snapped up to cover her mouth as she swallowed a sob. Restraint broken at the sound of her misery, Robby shifted closer. He set one hand on the back of her neck while the other wrapped around her forearm—covering those damned black lines.

“Hey,” He murmured, “You’re right. It’s not fair. It never is. But that is not on you.” His thumb brushed back and forth against the skin just below her hair line. “What we are capable of defies nature. We can do what others can’t, and that creates this sense of responsibility—a burden. But, Skylar,” He placed emphasis on her name, “we can’t save everyone. No matter how much we want to, no matter how unfair it seems—and it will be unfair, I can guarantee you that—if their time is up…it’s up.”

Rielly nodded, but he felt her trembling under his hand. He murmured her name again and the sob finally slipped out. Followed by another and another. Robby tightened his grip and pulled her closer. She didn’t hesitate to fold into his arms as her face buried into his shoulder. He stayed silent and just held her—his only movement the brushing of his thumb against the nape of her neck.

“I’m sorry.” She cried into his shoulder. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t. It’s okay.”

“I shouldn’t be—” She gasped. “Does it get easier?”

“No. No, and it shouldn’t.” Robby tightened his hold. “You can’t let this job break you, but you also can’t let it take your humanity.”

Slowly, her tears subsided, and a flicker of relief formed in his chest. Robby squeezed the back of her neck before letting her go. Rielly leaned away from him and winced. “Oh my God.” She sheepishly rubbed at his shoulder, and he glanced down to see it soaked with tears and smeared by makeup. “This is so embarrassing. I’m sorry, Dr. Robby. If you give me your hoodie, I’ll take it home and wash it for you.”

“If you think this is the worst thing I’ve had on this hoodie, you’re crazy.” Robby replied.

She chuckled and rubbed at her face. “Right. Sorry.”

“I told you to stop apologizing.”

Rielly opened her mouth but immediately stopped herself by biting down on her lower lip. She scrunched her nose then sighed, “That’s a hard habit to break.”

“You gonna be okay?” Robby asked softly. Rielly nodded. Some of her hair had fallen from its bun and hung in her face. His hand flinched—the urge to tuck it behind her ear was nearly overwhelming. “You’re off tomorrow, right?”

“I am.”

“Any fun plans?”

“Sleeping?” Rielly offered with a wince.

“Good.” Robby stood and offered a hand to help her stand as well. “Grab your stuff and go home. I’ll check out your patients to the night team.” Thankfully, she didn’t argue. “And tomorrow, don’t just sleep it all away. Go out, get some air and sunshine, watch some TV or read a book—a non-medical one.”

Rielly walked back to the doors, and he followed. “Bossy.”

“I’m your attending. I’m supposed to be.” He countered.

She shot him one more look, a mumbled ‘thank you’, and left to grab her bag. Dana squeezed her arm while passing her and stopped in front of him. “How’s our girl?”

“The kid she lost was her first.” Robby said. Dana’s features fell in understanding, and he nodded. “But she’ll be okay. She’s tough.”

"That she is." Dana agreed and drifted away. 

Chapter Text

Match Day is about to come up in this story where we find out what new interns will join the fray, and I thought it'd be fun to let y'all choose what two interns you want to join the pitt crew by showing you some fake medical school resumes. 

Candidate #1: Valentina Diaz

On interview day, she does show up five minutes late but apologizes profusely for the delay but offers no excuse or explanation as to why. She seems well spoken and is able to elaborate her points, weakness, and passions eloquently. Has no social media that can be found through searches. Does not speak to the other applicants who came for interviews on the same day.

Candidate #2: Connor Hamilton

Chapter Text

"but friends don't look at each other the way we do." - so what are we?

Santos glanced over to the passenger seat where her roommate was having his third existential crisis of the week. Whitaker was slumped over with a hand tangled in his already messy hair. She’d say he looked pale, but his baseline complexion tended to be ‘sick Victorian child’.

“Huckleberry,” she chuckled, “Can you relax? You’ve already matched.”

“But what if I didn’t match here?” Whitaker groaned. “What if I matched at Mercy or—or out of state! I put the hospital in Titusville as my tenth spot. What if I get matched there? I don’t want to be a resident there. I only put it on the list because I interviewed there!”

Santos shook her head, “What’s the point of worrying now?”

“Have you met me?” Whitaker replied. “That’s what I do. It’s how I process.”

“In a little over five hours you’ll find out.” Santos tried to reassure him. “I’m sure you'll match here specifically.” She parked the car outside the hospital and turned in her seat to face him. “And if you don't then I expect you to pack up your shit and move out of the apartment before the day is over.”

Whitaker threw his head back with a groan. She snickered and climbed out. Santos watched him drag himself out of the car with another weighted sigh and it only made her grin widen. She had never been the kind to worry needlessly. If the worst came to pass, she’d worry then. Another aspect that made the two of them clear opposites. They walked into the Pitt ready for a shift. It was kind of adorable that Whitaker was skipping his medical school’s match day celebration to work a shift here. Santos had jonkingly been the one to suggest it. She wanted to be part of his match day celebration, not that she’d admit that aloud, but she hadn’t expected him to agree.

“Whitaker!” Rielly, standing at the nurses’ station, was the first they ran into.

“Morning, Dr. Rielly.” He greeted sheepishly.

“Happy Match Day!” She held out a coffee and written on the side with a large smiley face were the words she had just said. Santos chuckled as Whitaker’s face turned bright red. He wasn’t one to take the spotlight with any kind of grace, but he was going to have to get used to it today.

Whitaker took the cup with a nod, “Thank you.”

“Ready for your last shift in the Pitt as a medical student?”

“Or my last shift period.”

Santos punched him in the arm, making him jump, and shook her head, “Don’t mind him. He’s been morose all morning.”

“Well, don’t be.” Rielly rubbed his back with a grin. “Today’s gonna go just fine.”

Santos shot him a ‘told you so’ look and the two of them drifted toward the lockers. She wasn’t the kind to worry, but it would be a lie if she said the worst-case scenario hadn’t crossed her mind. To be honest, she liked having Whitaker as a roommate. She never thought the two of them would get along like they did, but the apartment would be lonely without him now.

“I can’t wait until you’re an intern I can bully.” Santos said.

Whitaker shook his head, “You already bully me now.”

She smirked and pulled her stethoscope around her neck before backpedaling away with a shrug.

Skylar tapped her pen against the counter with a grin, “I’m hoping we get the guy who knows how to juggle.”

“Wait, which one knows how to juggle??” McKay asked.

“Wasn’t that the guy with the Chinese character art on his wrist?” Mohan offered. There had been nearly a hundred applicants. They had met a few here and there, scattered depending on the shift they worked on interview days, but it was easy for the medical students to blur together. The group of them stood around the nurses’ station all between patients. It was exciting to think about what their future would look like. It was stiff competition with only three intern slots, and these three new additions to the team could make or break a year in the Pitt.

“Yes.” Skylar pointed the pen at Mohan. “But the Chinese characters that he thought meant ‘free in spirt’ actually meant ‘free of charge’. Which I think is hilarious and seeing it every day would lighten my own spirits, ironically.”

Robby, who was passing by, shook his head and glared at her, “Don’t put that in universe, Rielly. If he matches here, I will resign.”

“But he can juggle, Dr. Robby!” Skylar called after him. “That means he’s a good multi-tasker, right?”

Robby didn’t respond—he just pointed at her in warning. Her grin grew.

Mohan chuckled, “I liked the girl who went to school in Ohio. She seemed smart. Confident.”

“Was she the one that was late?” Skylar thought aloud. “Dr. Underwood was pissed about it, if it was her.”

“Hey, look, there’s only one thing we need to consider.” McKay said. Her lips curled in amusement. “What can we get from them in return? Special skills. For example, Whitaker catches rats, and he knows how to change an ignition switch.”

Skylar snorted, “I’m still upset I missed the rat debacle. Maybe—"

“No.” Collins yelled out from across the room as if the word ‘rats’ triggered an alarm to catch her attention.

Collins pushed away from her computer with a lighthearted glare. Skylar pressed her thumb and forefinger together to offer the upper resident a heart who shook her head and went to a patient room. Dana called out an incoming trauma and McKay slipped away since she had taken the last. Mohan and Skylar looked at one another and held their hands out for a round of ‘rock, paper, scissors’. Skylar threw rock, and Mohan threw paper.

“Damn it.” Skylar groaned as Mohan beamed in victory and jogged to the ambulance bay doors.

That left her with the hypertensive and abdominal patient in North 2 and 3. She stood and stretched her arms over her head—groaning when she didn’t illicit the pop in her thoracic region as she planned. Another reason she wouldn’t mind the kid who juggled. He was a DO like her, and she would kill for someone to pop her spine. Granted, letting a kid who didn’t have the common sense to not get a tattoo in an unknown language work on her spinal column may not have been the best idea.

“Hey, Donnie,” Skylar called out as the nurse walked by, “Can you give North 2 Amlodipine 5, HCTZ 25, and Valsartan 80. Those are his usual morning meds. He didn’t take them and that’s why his blood pressure is high. Circle back in an hour and tell me what it looks like?”

“Got it, doc.”

“Thanks!” She circled the station and paused by Dana. “Where can I find a DO?”

“Have you tried looking in the mirror?”

“Hah. Very funny.”

Dana looked away from her computer and grinned, “I’ll be here all week.” Skyler rolled her neck with a huff. “What’s wrong?”

“I got a kink like right here,” She reached behind her and motioned between her shoulder blades, “I just need somebody to take apart my spine, shake it in a tumbler, and throw it back together again.”

Dana raised an eyebrow, “How much you DOs charge for that maneuver?” Skylar chuckled and began to twist in place in hopes to catch the kink. “Can you walk somebody through whatever it is you need done?”

“Hm,” Skylar bobbed her head then shrugged, “Maybe. I didn’t think about that.”

“If you can’t find a volunteer later let me know.” Dana reached up and gave her cheek a playful pat. “I’d be more than happy to try and not break your spine.”

“Gee, thanks, Dana!” Skylar grinned as the charge nurse wandered away.

Donnie walked over with a huff, “North 2 won’t take his meds. Says he doesn’t want them because he’s in the ER and he needs the IV stuff.”

“Of course.” Skylar sighed. “Because why would a patient ever make anything easy?”

Donnie shrugged and continued on his way. Skylar rapped her knuckles against the counter and turned with plans to argue with a patient.

OBGYN was not her favorite rotation.

Javadi had made that decision on the very first day. She didn’t have a specific reason and she’d be the first to admit the beauty of a baby being born. The rotation just taught her she’d prefer admiring the miracle of life from a distance rather than a front row ‘baby catching’ seat. So far, her favorite had been emergency medicine—quite the feat considering how her first day had gone. Javadi had a suspicion it was the people that truly made that rotation for her.

Her eyes found the clock again and she did a double take when she realized she had lost track of time.

“Shoot!” She jumped up and badged out of her computer. “Um, Dr. Murray?” The OBGYN resident looked up from her chart. “I mentioned this morning that, uh, that at lunch—”

“Oh. It’s time for your friend’s match, right?” Dr. Murray finished. “Go ahead.” She looked back to her chart and waved a hand. “I wish him the best of luck.”

Javadi grinned and jogged to the elevator. Whitaker had officially matched already and today was just the day he’d find out where he would be working for the next 3-4 years. She was both jealous of him while also being so thankful it wasn’t her time yet. Third year was winding down, fourth peeking around the corner, and she still hadn’t decided what she wanted to do. Her mother and father each had full life plans for her, but all Javadi was sure of was that she didn’t want to do what they wanted her to do. Her mother wanted her to follow in the footsteps of surgery. Her father was a little more open to different specialties. He told her she didn’t have to go into endocrinology if she didn’t want to. He’d settle for dermatology or cardiology. All specialties that Javadi could not see herself in.

The elevator brought her down to the first floor and she took the well-known path to the Pitt. When she stepped in, the usual noise of chaos washed over her, and she smiled. The clock read 11:54 and she picked up the pace toward the lounge.

“Hey, Javadi!” Her feet screeched to a halt, and she whipped her head to the side to see Mateo walking over. “Here to celebrate with Whitaker?”

“Uh, yeah.” She nodded quickly.

Mateo grabbed the lounge door to hold open for her, “I like the surgical look on you, Javadi.” He motioned to her. She had on the PTMH branded OR scrubs along with the blue booties and a surgical mask hanging around her neck. The morning had been spent doing c-sections. “Nice.”

Alright, maybe surgery wasn’t so bad.

“Crash!” Santos was the first to greet her, followed by the others echoing various greetings of their own. Javadi shook her head at the nickname, but she knew Santos well enough now to understand it was said from a place of friendship. Odd friendship, but she was learning Santos’ love language was not the norm.

“Hey, guys.” She found Whitaker and shot him a thumbs up. “Are you ready?”

“No.” Whitaker groaned and looked like he was going to be ill.

Santos grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him once. Javadi glanced around and spotted drinks available on the counter. She went to grab one and spotted Dr. Rielly leaning against the counter texting.

“Hey, Dr. Rielly. How are you?”

She looked up from her phone and smiled, “Javadi, hey. I’m good.” Dr. Rielly motioned to her with her phone. “How’s OBGYN treating you?”

“It’s…fun.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, I felt the same way.” Dr. Rielly chuckled. “As a second year, I thought I might want to do OBGYN. It ended up being my first rotation, and I learned real quick it wasn’t for me.”

Javadi found the topic interesting, and she glanced over at Whitaker who was talking to Santos and Dr. McKay, then back to Dr. Rielly, “How did you know what you wanted to do? Like, how did you finally make that decision?”

“I might not be the best to ask.” She responded. “I chose Family Medicine, but then I picked a residency that trained more like Internal Medicine, and then I quit altogether and transferred to Emergency Medicine.”

Javadi blinked, “Really?”

“Really.” Dr. Rielly gave a small shrug. “But honestly, when you know…you know. When I was a medical student, I really liked working in the ER, but I let someone talk me out of it. Just…listen to your gut, Javadi. And don’t sweat it. You still have time.”

Javadi sighed, “Thanks, Dr. Rielly.”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright,” Dr. Robby’s voice commanded the room as he walked into the lounge, “We’re about sixty seconds out. I just want to say, student doctor Whitaker, that it’s been an honor to watch you grow and learn. We are so proud of you.” Dr. Robby set his hand on Whitaker’s shoulder. “And, yeah, we hope like hell we get to see you continue to grow as an intern here, but even if that doesn’t happen, even if you get placed somewhere else, that won’t change how excited we are for you. You’re going to do great things, kid.”

Whitaker wore a broad smile.

“Now,” Dr. Robby pulled an envelope from his jacket, “This is yours.”

Everyone one in the room clapped and cheered at the sight of the match letter. Whitaker took it with a sharp breath. All eyes on him, he hesitated for a second before nodding once and opening the letter. Javadi gnawed on her lower lip feeling secondary anxiety for him. Whitaker’s eyes scanned the page and it felt like the entire room was holding their breath. Finally, with a frown, he lifted his disappointed gaze. Javadi felt her chest ache and hands were already reaching out to offer comfort.

“I matched PTMH.” Whitaker’s frown split into a wide grin.

“Oh, you asshole!” Santos shoved him as the room filled with relief and laughter.

Javadi was happy Whitaker got his first choice and it gave her hope for herself one day. She still didn’t know what she wanted to do, but she’d count herself lucky if she got to be an intern among a family like this.

With a crack of lightning, it started pouring just shy of 1PM. A blessing because things always seemed to slow down during storms. Emergencies still existed, but the other stuff tended to fall off. People thought twice before going out in the rain and it cut the foot traffic in half. Skylar sat at her workstation charting while eating a piece of cake from Whitaker’s match party. She was overjoyed knowing the medical student would be their intern in four short months.

Mohan and McKay were stalking the other two incoming interns on the internet. The names announced in an email from admin had been Connor Hamilton and Olivia Emmons. They weren’t applicants she had met, but their pictures looked nice enough. Plus, Mohan said she had given the tour on the day Olivia interviewed and said she seemed nice. Skylar wasn’t close enough to hear what they were finding, but she was in the second-year group chat seeing all the updates they provided Mel who was off today.

Skylar took a big bite of her cake just as Princess came over, “Dr. Rielly?”

“Mmm?” She responded with her mouth full.

“There’s a patient in Central 13 looking for you.”

“For me?” Skylar covered her mouth as she spoke.

“He said it was a follow up visit.” Princess said. She motioned to her own mouth as she warned Skylar. “He’s cute. I’d finish the cake first.”

Skylar snorted and threw a quick thumbs up. After washing down the cake with water, she badged out of her computer. Grabbing her stethoscope, she peered at the board. Central 13: Jordan Smoke. The complaint by his name was a plain and unhelpful ‘follow up’. Skylar didn’t recognize the name as someone she had seen before.

She knocked on the door and stepped in, “Hi, Mr. Smoke. My name is Dr. Rielly and I’m the emergency—”

Skylar froze in surprise as she recognized the man sitting on the bed. The firefighter. He sat on the edge of the bed dressed in plain jeans and a t-shirt. Bandages covered his neck and continued under the collar of his shirt and arm.

“You.” She pointed at him.

“Hi.” He smiled revealing dimples. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Me?”

“I know you can say more than a couple pronouns.” He joked. “Most of my memories that day are a little fuzzy, but I do clearly remember you taking charge of that room before putting me under.”

Skylar shook her head with a chuckle, “Wow. I’m surprised you remember me. A lot was happening at the time.”

“Forget the pretty doctor that saved my life? Never.” He replied. “I’m Jordan Smoke.”

“Right. Wait,” Skylar grabbed a pair of gloves to pull on, “You’re a firefighter, and your last name is smoke?”

Jordan shrugged then winced at the movement. He lifted a hand cautiously prod at his bandages, “Yeah. Growing up I figured I had two choices—firefighter or arsonist.”

“Glad to hear you picked the former. I’m sure all those people you saved are equally as happy.” Skylar replied. She carefully pulled off his bandages. “You’re a hero.”

“I can say the same about you.”

Skylar chuckled, “I’m serious. Before I put you out, you were talking about a pregnant woman? She survived. So did her baby.”

“Hey, that’s as much y’all as it was me.” Jordan argued. “I pulled her out of the building, is all. You guys did the rest.”

Skylar studied the healing burn wounds, “The burning building. Literally an on fire structure that you ran into and carried people out of.” She shook her head. “My work is hard, but I at least get to do it in a comfortable, air-conditioned temperature.”

“How’s it looking?” Jordan tilted his head down to try and peer at his own wounds.

“Good. It’s healing good.” Skylar replied. “Unfortunately, it is probably gonna scar. You didn’t need skin grafts or anything.”

Jordan nodded. “Can I go back to work?”

“Seriously?” Skylar snorted. “It’s been five days since the fire. Absolutely not.” Jordan groaned in response, and she shook her head in amusement. “Sounds like your work life balance is as bad as mine.”

Jordan gave a charming smile and winked, “It’s good to know we have something in common.”

Face warm, Skylar gave a chuckle and tried to focus on placing fresh bandages over his injuries. Once upon a time, a hot firefighter flirting with her would have been a dream come true. It was still flattering, and it wasn’t that Skylar didn’t like it. She just felt…awkward. Her past was proof that she was better at medicine than dating, and her most recent blunder of getting ghosted was proof that hadn’t changed. Skylar knew she had to get back up on the metaphorical horse, but there was nothing metaphorical about falling or failing. She didn’t think she could survive getting trampled again.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Jordan pulled her attention away from the wound again. He wore a sheepish look of regret. “I promise that wasn’t my intention. I just…I  haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He chuckled. “I’d say you took my breath away, but you actually shoved a tube down my throat and gave it back.”

Skylar laughed and stepped back, “No. I swear you didn’t make me uncomfortable. Honestly, I’m flattered. I’m just bad at…” She tried to find a word that wouldn’t make her sound pathetic but fell short. “Talking.”

Jordan chuckled and motioned to himself, “You know, I’m an optimist. So, I’m gonna take that as a good sign. Convince myself that my charm has left you speechless.”

“Do you often have delusions of grandeur?” Skylar teased. “I can get psych down here.”

“Damn!” Jordan beamed. “I’m already burned, Dr. Rielly. Why you gotta do me like that?”

Skylar shook her head and pulled her stethoscope from around her neck, “If I apologize will you keep this out of your eval for this visit? My attending’s been harping on better scores.”

“I don’t know.” Jordan tsk’ed. “Might take more than an apology. I’m thinking at least some digits.”

Skylar hummed in amusement and set her bell against his chest—asking him to take deep breaths as she went. Jordan fell into a fit of hacking coughs midway through and she pulled away. “That smoke did a number to your lungs.”

“Ah,” Jordan cleared his throat, “It ain’t the first time I’ve been betrayed by my own last name. I’ll be fine.”

“See, the funny thing about smoke inhalation,” Skylar wrapped her stethoscope around her neck, “is you don’t become immune to it every time it gets you.”

Jordan narrowed his eyes with a hum, “That doesn’t sound right. I’m pretty sure I’ve built up an immunity.”

“Yeah, no, the wheezing in all fields tell me you really didn’t. Are you using your inhaler?”

“Absolutely. Religiously.”

Skylar caught amusement in his tone and shot him a dry look, “Somehow I doubt that.”

“Alright, so maybe I lost it or maybe I gave it to the kid with asthma who lives down the street from me.” Jordan waved his hand. “You know how it goes. Those inhalers just grow little legs and disappear on you.”

“So, not only am I getting a chest x-ray on you, I’m also prescribing more medicine then.”

“You’re gonna make me get a chest x-ray? Oh, doc, c’mon.”

“Mhmm.” Skylar grabbed the COW sitting in the corner and badged in to place an order for an x-ray and send in a new inhaler. “You will need to follow up with us again in a couple weeks. Sooner if your burns start to show signs of infection or your breathing worsens.” She shrugged. “Or your own PCP if you have one.”

Jordan shook his head, “And miss out on seeing you again? Never.”

“A nurse will be in soon to get some imaging.” Skylar badged out.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jordan held his arms out, “You’re just gonna leave me here? Breathless, in awe of that smile, and without your number?” Skylar bit her lower lip, weighing her options, then stepped closer and pulled out her pen. She held out her hand for his. Jordan’s face filled a smile that made his dimples look like they hurt. “Oh, we’re going old school? I like it.”

Skylar took his hand and wrote on his palm. “There.”

Jordan turned his hand to look at it and his eyebrows furrowed, “Uh, doc, I’m missing four numbers here.”

“You said you wanted some digits.” Skylar smirked. “Never said how many of them you wanted.”

Jordan barked out a laugh as his grin returned, “Doc, you’re breaking my heart—will that show up on the x-ray?”

She pointed at him with the pen just as Princess stepped in to take him to imaging, “Follow up for care, Jordan Smoke.”

Skylar spun on her heel to leave and heard him call back out to her as she went. The giddy feeling of flirting without falling on her face put a small pep in her step as she went back to her workstation.

Robby leaned against the counter watching the board and found himself pleasantly surprised. The storm outside was bad enough to make their lights flicker twice, but it had cut out a huge chunk of the usual patient flow. These moments of peace didn’t come often enough, and he reveled in it. His mood was already on the better side knowing at least one of his interns next academic year wasn’t going to be a problem. The other two were a toss-up, but they had already broken Whitaker of most of his bad habits. And, God forbid they get rats again, they’ll have an exterminator on board.

“Hey,” Dana called out, “What’re you up to?”

“I’m scared to answer that. Don’t wanna jinx myself.” Robby replied. “Why? You need something?”

Dana grinned, “No, but Rielly needs some help.”

Robby pushed up off the counter with a frown, “She does? What’s wrong?” She had been doing super well since losing the kid a few days ago, but Robby had still been watching her close. “Is it—”

“Nothing bad.”

“Then what is it?”

Dana smirked, “No spoilers.”

Robby shot her a skeptical look before going on his way. Last he saw Rielly, she had been at her workstation charting, but she wasn’t there now. Passing Santos and Whitaker, he asked and they pointed him to the lounge. That’s where he found her raiding the fridge. Rielly was knelt on the floor—elbow deep.

“If Donnie asks me who stole his energy drinks, I’m not covering for you.” Robby leaned against the doorframe.

Rielly’s attention snapped up in surprise, but it was quickly replaced with a grin, “I’m not an energy drink kind of girl, but that’s good to know.” She went back to rooting. “If I do plan on committing a crime, I am definitely not bringing you along, snitch.”

“Snitch? Wow.” He shook his head.

“You said it not me.” She replied. Rielly stood up with a bottle of iced coffee, and she kicked the fridge closed. “I started hiding them in the back behind all the soda cans so they don’t get stolen.” Rielly cracked it open to take a sip then motioned to him. “What’s up? We have a case?”

Robby shook his head, “No. Dana told me you needed help with something.”

“Help…” Rielly furrowed her brow in thought and then recognition hit her. “Oh!” She frowned. “Oh. Wait, why did she tell you?”

“I don’t know.” Robby replied. “Tell me the problem and maybe we can puzzle out her reasoning together.”

Rielly rubbed the back of her neck, almost sheepish, “Really, it’s not even a problem. My back has been killing me, and I was asking if she knew another DO who could pop it for me.” That wasn’t what Robby had expected, but he was pleasantly surprised. “She suggested I show someone here how to do it so they could just do it for me.”

“Huh. Well, if you need me to—”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it, Dr. Robby. It’s really not a big deal.” Rielly chuckled. “I texted Thompson and he said he’d do it for me at shift change.”

Robby furrowed his brow in confusion. “Thompson is an MD.”

“Yeah, but he’s been begging me to pop his back. I figure I’d trade him for it. He pops me, I pop him.”

“Thompson.” Robby repeated.

“Uh, yeah?”

Robby didn’t know any OMT. He understood the concept, but it wasn’t something he planned to put in his arsenal of skills. It was more of a chronic treatment than one used in an emergency setting. Robby had seen a few of the close contact maneuvers though. He pictured Thompson touching Rielly and his mouth acted before his brain formed a full thought.

“I’ll do it.” He blurted. “We have time right now. Shift change might get busy. Let’s knock it out.”

Rielly’s eyes widened, “Really? You wanna do it?” Robby nodded, and her face split into a broad smile that lit up the room. “Great. Gimme a second. I’ll find us a bed to use.”

She tapped his arm as she passed, and as her words sunk in he felt his face grow warm. He didn’t like the idea of another man touching her in any way, shape, or form. But, by volunteering, Robby realized he would now be the one touching her. His face fell and he rubbed the back of his neck.

Well, fuck.

Central 9 was open so Skylar scooped it up and asked Dana to mark it used for the time being. The bed wasn’t ideal, but she lowered it down to a size that worked for her and collapsed the railings. Skylar lifted her gaze to Robby who stood at the door.

“Alright, so it’s probably better if you take your jacket off.” She commented. Robby shrugged out of his hoodie and set it in the chair by the bed. Skylar found herself staring at his arms. It wasn’t often she saw him without it, and she noticed a tattoo, words, half hidden under the right sleeve of his scrub top. “Um, go ahead and climb up.”

Robby motioned to himself, “I’m getting on the bed? Aren’t I popping your back?”

“Yeah, but I wanna teach you how to do it before you try.” Skylar chuckled. “My spine is kind of important.”

“Guess that’s fair.” Robby mumbled under his breath and sat down on the bed.

Skylar stood in front of him, waiting, and when he didn’t move, she smirked and tilted her head to the left, “Lie down, Dr. Robby.”

“Right.” He cleared his throat and turned to lay down. He squirmed in place—seemingly trying to get comfortable.

Skylar nodded, “Alright, I’m gonna show you something simple. Called the Kirksville Crunch. It’s HVLA of the thoracic region. I don’t really have time to get into the weeds on diagnosing, but I know what my usual diagnosis is—so I’m just gonna teach you that.” Robby nodded. She took him by the wrists and crossed his arms over his chest. “Hug yourself here so your hands rest a bit on your back. Just like that.”

My diagnosis is a rotational problem to the left, sidebent right. So, you’ll stand on my right to do this. With my arms crossed like this, you’ll press down on my elbows in the direction of the ASIS on the side you’re standing on.” Skylar pressed one hand down on his elbows and used her other hand to rest on his hip. Robby stiffened under her touch. “Don’t worry, Dr. Robby. I’m not gonna suddenly pop your back, you can relax.”

Robby cleared his throat and squirmed, “Mhmm, yeah.”

“Once I’m in this position, you push down on my elbows enough to put a curve in my spine and…” Skylar’s voice trailed off as she pushed hard enough to lift his right shoulder up off the bed. She leaned forward, as if hugging him, and placed her hand against his thoracic spine. “You’ll put your thenar eminence on the transverse process of my T6—that’s my fucked up vertebra.”

“Got it.”

“Once you have that in place, you’ll replace your other hand with your sternum,” She pinned him to her chest, one knee on the bed to support his weight, and cradled his head, “And pull my head toward you. Once you’re in that position, you’ll just push down with your chest—kind of like a mild body slam.”

Skylar carefully placed him back down on the bed and stepped back with a smile. She blinked in surprise at his flushed features. “Dr. Robby, you good?”

“Yes. Yeah.” He quickly sat up and rubbed the back of his head. “Let’s give it a whirl, hm?” Skylar shrugged out of her hoodie, tossing it on the chair with his, and laid down on the bed. She reassured him that she’d walk him through where to put his hands. Robby blew out a short breath, “Better me than Thompson.”

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.” Robby cleared his throat. “Hands first?”

“Yeah.” Skylar chuckled and hugged herself. “Now hands on—” Robby placed his large hand over her elbows and pushed it toward her right ASIS so her spine curved off the bed. “Yeah, good. Now if you don’t do it often it might be tricky to palpate the T6 quick, but I’ll tell you when you’re on it.” Robby began to press along her spine with his fingers. “I'm wearing a sports bra so if I need to take my shirt off, I can. It’s easier that way sometimes—”

“Nope.” Robby cleared his throat again. “Let’s keep your shirt on.” He flattened his palm, the base of his thumb against her T7, “Here?”

“Down just a bit.” Skylar said and when she felt him where she needed him she confirmed. “There. Okay. Now swap your other hand with your sternum…”

Robby nodded, “Right. Body slam.”

“Exactly.” Skylar chuckled as Robby pinned her to his chest. Robby used his now free arm to cradle the back of her head, pulling her closer, and it was only then she realized their positioning. Skylar used to teach OMT all the time during school and residency, so it felt second nature to just roll through it. It was purely clinical. But now, pinned to his chest with his arms cradling her, she felt her face go warm.

“Rielly?” Robby said and she startled. “Is this the right position? I’d rather not snap my resident’s spine.”

“Right. I’d prefer you didn’t either.” Skylar forced herself to chuckle. She swallowed the lump in her throat and took in the placement of his hands. “Yeah, no, this is right. I’m gonna take in a deep breath and you push down as I exhale, okay?”

“On your count, Rielly.”

Skylar sucked in a deep breath and as she began to let it out, Robby pushed her down into the bed. She felt her spine pop and couldn’t bite back the groan of relief. God, that’s exactly what she’s needed.

“All good?” Robby asked, still holding her.

“Beautiful, Dr. Robby.” Skylar chuckled. “You’re a pro.” He didn’t move. “Dr. Robby?”

Robby carefully released her, “Right.”

Skylar sat up and stretched her arms with a sigh, “That feels fantastic. Thank you so much.”

“Did you do a lot of OMT before coming here?” Robby asked. He had stepped back from the bed and had his arms crossed.

She shrugged, “Some. I always enjoyed it, but it doesn’t have much of a place in the hospital. I just never had time for it. I think I ended up using it more on friends and family than I did patients.” She slid off the bed and nodded to it. “Here. Lay back down.”

Robby held his hands up, “Hah, I don’t think I need my back popped.”

“I’m not gonna pop your back. Lemme check out your neck—”

“I don’t know about—”

“I’m not gonna pop your neck either.” Skylar laughed. “OMT is not just popping shit. Do you trust me?” Robby blew out a sigh and nodded with a soft smile. He dropped back down on the bed and laid down. Skylar grabbed the stool on the other side of the room and rolled over to sit at the head of the bed. “You hold a lot of tension in your neck. I can tell. You’re always rubbing at it.” Skylar cupped the back of his neck and he stiffened. “Just close your eyes and relax. I’m just gonna do a suboccipital release—like a little massage.”

“Well, how could I say no to that?” Robby chuckled and closed his eyes.

Skylar pressed the pads of her fingers to where his neck met his skull and applied a gentle release. His neck felt like it was made up of steel wires—a testament to the stress he took on in the Pitt. After a few beats, Robby melted in her hands and let out a soft groan. The sound made her cheeks burn and Skylar was ever grateful he had his eyes closed.

“What is your tattoo of?” Skylar whispered her question.

“Which one?”

“The one on your arm—looks like words but your sleeve is in the way.”

Robby hummed, “Amor Fati. It’s latin.”

“For?”

“Love of one’s fate.” Robby answered. “It’s a philosophy I learned from one of my attendings a long time ago. It’s about accepting and embracing all aspects of life—suffering and loss included.”

Skylar’s lips twitched up as she nodded, “I like that.”

“I have another latin phrase I picked up from my attending, but that one you can’t see.”

“Tramp stamp, huh?” Skylar joked.

Robby’s face broke out into a grin as he laughed, “Yeah, how’d you know?”

“You seem the type.”

His eyes opened and met hers, “Are you calling me, your attending, a tramp?”

Skylar tried to bite back a laugh, “Maybe.”

“Wow.” He held her gaze. “Old, plain, boring, snitch, and a tramp. Some of those seem contradictory.”

“You’re just a man of many layers, Dr. Robby.”

Again, she found herself trapped by the power his eyes held. Her fingers were still moving, but she had stopped applying an appropriate amount of pressure. Now they just lazily dragged through the hair at the nape of his neck.

The door suddenly opened, Whitaker’s voice called out, and they both moved out of sync. Robby popped up quicker than Skylar pulled back, and it ended up with their heads colliding somewhere in the middle.

“Fuck.” Robby hissed and Skylar echoed the sentiment as she cradled the middle of her forehead. Robby reached out and his fingers brushed against her skin. “Shit, are you okay?”

“Great.” Skylar groaned.

Robby turned to the door, “Whitaker!”

“Sorry, I—Never mind. I’ll find Dr. Collins.” Whitaker ducked out just as quickly as he had come.

Robby huffed and shook his head, “I’m canceling his internship.” Skylar laughed at the comment and winced at her forming headache. “C’mon, let me see.”

“You have a hard head.” Skylar said as he probed at her tender forehead.

“Funny. I was gonna say the same thing to you.”

“Honestly, my back feels so good I don’t even care about the headache.” Skylar chuckled. “How’s your neck feel?”

Robby pulled his hand away from her face to rub at the back of his neck. “Pretty good actually.” He picked up her hoodie and held it out to her to take. “But I could just be so distracted by my headache that the neck pain is forgotten.”

“Well, call me when your neck pain comes back.” She pulled on her hoodie. “We can bang our heads together again.”

“Can I request the suboccipital release sans concussion next time?”

“Sure.” Skylar gave him a thumbs up and moved to the door.

She was halfway out when he called her name. Robby gave her a grin she could only describe as boyish—one that managed to bring the blush back to her cheeks. “Dr. Rielly, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about my tramp stamp.”

A laugh bubbled out from her at his joke, and she shook her head, “No promises, Dr. Robby. I’m concussed.” She gave a teasing shrug. “Who knows what I’ll do or say.”

Whitaker sped across the Pitt the second he saw Dr. Rielly sit down at her workstation. He hadn’t meant to interrupt…whatever he was interrupting. He just had a question about a patient he wanted to run by Dr. Robby, while also thanking the attending profusely for everything. Whitaker was over the moon about matching here. His first day in the Pitt was hardly something he’d call a ‘good selling point’, but this was what he wanted.

Now, he pissed his attending off by maybe walking in on him doing…something.

“Dr. Rielly,” Whitaker slid to a stop beside her making her startle, “I am so sorry about earlier.”

She chuckled, “Don’t sweat it, Whitaker. It was an accident.”

“I just needed to ask Dr. Robby something and I didn’t mean to interrupt the two of you…uh…”

“Hm? Oh, you didn’t. We had finished.” Dr. Rielly waved off his concern. “When you stuck your head in we were just messing around.” Whitaker opened his mouth to ask follow-up questions, but fear griped him. It didn’t seem appropriate to ask about his soon to be upper resident’s love life and it seemed doubly inappropriate to ask about his attending’s love life. There was no situation where he won. Dr. Rielly raised an eyebrow, and he realized his features must be giving away his panic. He had never been known to have a poker face. “Whitaker, what do you think we were doing?”

“Um, well, I—”

“It was OMT. Medicine. He cracked my back, and I was checking his neck for dysfunction.”

“Oh, thank God.” Whitaker breathed a sigh of relief and slumped against the workstation. “I thought—I don’t even know.” Maybe he had misinterpreted the scene. Their position had hardly been a compromising one but the way they were staring at one another was just…No. Whitaker was overthinking. “I was just worried Dr. Robby was going to kill me.”

Dr. Rielly’s eyes widened, and her cheeks burned red. “You thought we were—Jesus, Whitaker. This isn’t Grey’s Anatomy.” She pressed her hands to her cheeks and shook her head. “Plus, if my plan was to have a quickie at work, I’d hardly choose Central 9.”

Whitaker paused, “So, wait, then are you two—”

“No.” Dr. Rielly pointed at him. “Nip that rumor in the bud now or I’m gonna make your intern year a nightmare.”

“Fair enough.” Whitaker rubbed his hands together—still relieved he hadn’t been dragged onto his attending’s shit list. Rielly breathed out a soft laugh and began to congratulate him again. As she spoke, he spotted movement by her collar and tilted his head. A spider, about the size of a quarter, crawled onto her shoulder. He interrupted her to point it out. “Oh, hey, you have a—”

He didn’t get the words out. Dr. Rielly turned her head to look at her shoulder and let out a panicked, high-pitched yelp. She nearly fell backwards off her stool jumping up while ripping her hoodie off her shoulders to throw to the ground. Whitaker stepped back as the hoodie fell to his feet.

“Spider.” He knelt down as it began to crawl away from her hoodie and caught it in his hands. Others had rushed to the scene. Whitaker chuckled, “Don’t worry. It’s not a dangerous one.” He held his hands out and took a step toward Dr. Rielly. “Here, look—”

“Absolutely not!” Dr. Rielly snapped and leapt back into Donnie and Mohan.

“What the hell is happening?” Dana came over.

Dr. Rielly shuddered and shook her limbs as if she had walked through a web, “God, I can feel it on me.” She brushed at herself and rushed away. “I’m burning that fucking hoodie.”

Dana chuckled and reached out to wrap her arms around Whitaker who still held the spider in his hands. She gave him a small shake, “The critter wrangler at work again. We’re glad you’re sticking around, kid. Now go get rid of that thing before Rielly has a stroke.”

Whitaker laughed and made a beeline to the ambulance bay doors.

Yeah, he was really glad he’d be sticking around too.

Chapter Text

"you can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." -C.S. Lewis

There was a special kind of harmony in the Pitt when two traumas arrived simultaneously. It was music. A symphony was the only decent comparison when he was watching his teams work two separate, complicated cases with confidence and precision. Robby was disgustingly proud of his staff. His nurses, his techs, his residents.

“Another round of epi now.” Collins barked out. “And where are my units of O neg!?”

“Incoming, Dr. Collins!”

“Pleurovac already has 1200cc.”

“Alright, grab us a thoracotomy tray. McKay, glove up, you’re doing it.”

Robby circled the room watching as Collins, McKay, and Mel ran the show on the 32-year-old male driver of a single car MVA that ran into a ditch and flipped. He read the vitals, scanned the flurry of movements, and nodded to Collins who caught his eye and returned it. He ducked through the Trauma Prep Hall and into the other room to hear the chaos of the second movement of this symphony. The star of the show a 27-year-old female passenger of the single car MVA who had her feet up on the dash.

“Patient doesn’t have a pulse in her left leg.”

“Santos, look at the leg. What’s wrong with it?” Rielly asked.

“Flexed, internally rotated, and adducted.” Santos called out as she rushed to the foot of the bed. “Uh, that’s—dislocated! Hip’s dislocated!”

“Anterior or Posterior?”

“Posterior.”

“Get on the bed, let’s pop it in.”

Robby’s lips twitched in amusement at the wide grin Santos wore before climbing up on the bed. Rielly pinned the patient’s hips and walked Santos through how to hold the hip. The intern followed step by step and tugged.

“Felt it pop.” Rielly nodded. “Climb down.”

The trauma bay door cracked open and Dana stuck her head in and caught his attention, “Mohan is coding a patient in North 3. You might wanna swing by.”

Robby gave her a thumbs up and she ducked away. He read the vitals, scanned the flurry of movements, and nodded. “Rielly, we good?”

“We’re good.” Rielly started only to immediately shift to call out orders to Jesse.

Robby swung back to the first room, “Collins?”

“We got him back, but he’s still bleeding. Gonna need another 2 units.”

“Call me if you need me.”

He ripped off his protective gear, splattered with blood, and shoved it into the trash. He rolled up his sleeves and hurried toward North 3. Robby heard Mohan calling out orders before he saw her. Pulling back the curtain he found an elderly woman being coded.

“Mohan, bullet points.”

“80-year-old female presented with shortness of breath…” Mohan ran through the vitals, and he nodded. She returned to the code, and he crossed his arms to supervise. A minute or so later, the patient was back. As Mohan began to exam the patient, Robby stole the COW from the corner and pulled on his glasses to read the chart.

“Dr. Mohan,” He called out, “What do you wanna do next?” Mohan ran through the differential, efficient and quick, and settled on pulmonary embolism. She placed the orders and Robby grinned with a nod. “Good, good. Keep me updated.”

Walking back out to the nurses’ station, Dana saddled up beside him, “You have a well-oiled machine here, Robby.”

“Don’t jinx me.” He countered and stopped in front of the board. “Patients in trauma?”

“Collins’ is stable. Getting rolled up to the OR so gen surg can handle the bleeding.” Dana replied. “Rielly’s has ortho coming down. The dislocation popped out again. Rielly got a handle on it. Small, posterior fracture of the acetabulum. They need screws.”

Robby scratched his jaw and grinned again. “Good. Very good.”

“Mhmm.” Dana tapped her fingers against the counter. “How long do you wanna ride this high before I hit you with some bad news?”

Robby hung his head with a sigh, “Go ahead.”

“Have you looked at the schedule recently?” Dana asked. Robby gave a small nod, but she interrupted his acknowledgement. “Not yours.” He had checked for the week, but he didn’t make a habit of looking every day unless someone pointed out to him that a change had been made. “You’re losing Rielly in a few days.”

“I knew that.” He admitted. “She’s going on nights.”

Robby’s eyes found his resident quickly. Probably, too quickly. He was going to start counting it as a skill, his ability to spot Rielly in a crowded, chaotic ER in record time. Robby couldn’t admit he was disappointed by the change in rotation without admitting other details he wasn’t ready to think too hard on yet.

“She likes nights.” Robby rubbed he back of his neck and hated that the old habit reminded him of Rielly’s fingers carding through the hair. He snatched his hand away and buried it in his hoodie’s pocket. “Rielly mentioned that before. It was her favorite rotation at her old residency.”

Dana chuckled, “Worried she might like nights too much?”

“Dana,” Robby pressed his lips together, “Do you have any other news to ruin my mood?”

“Yes. You’re losing Rielly in a couple days,” Dana started to step away, “And you’re getting Langdon back.”

Robby’s jaw locked hard enough to grind his molars. Frank Langdon. That had been a sore topic for months now. There was gossip galore about the resident who had to leave for inpatient drug rehab, but all the talking participants knew not to bring the name up to him. The Pittfest shooting would have automatically made it on his list of ‘worst shifts of his career’ without him finding out his protégé was addicted to benzos. The fact that it happened, that he had to deal with Langdon on top of everything else that night, had honestly just been God’s way to spite him. He was sure of it.

Langdon had been a medical student here doing his sub-internship, then he had graduated to intern, and grown more and more from there. Robby had already been working on ways to help him get a fellowship and maybe even an attending position here. Langdon was one of his brightest residents, and Robby even considered him a friend. That’s what hurt the most about the news.

“Dr. Robby?” Rielly’s voice interrupted him from his thoughts. He glanced over his shoulder to see she had come over. “Hey, I wanted to update you about the patient in trauma 2.” Rather than tell her that Dana had caught him up to speed, he motioned for her to present. Robby turned to offer her his full attention and leaned back with one arm on the counter. Rielly presented with efficiency and clarity, but Robby had trouble focusing on anything other than her voice. It was pathetic, but maybe he’d allow himself a little grace today. “Ortho has her up in the OR now.”

“Good job.” Robby held his hand out and her face cracked into a grin as she high-fived him. Dana chuckled off to the side, and he ignored her entirely. “You feel ready for night shift?”

Rielly bit down on her lip, a sight he accidentally burned into his memory, “I think so.”

“What’s got you nervous?”

“Is it weird if I say Dr. Abbot?” Rielly chuckled. “I’m kind of intimidated by him. I mean, he was great during the…the, you know.” She shrugged. She had been doing so well since losing the kid, and it filled him with pride. “I’m probably overthinking it.”

Robby nodded, “You are. He’s a teddy bear.” Rielly shot him a skeptical look. That was fair. “Alright, maybe a teddy bear holding a knife, but still…” He reveled in the laugh he drew from her. “Honestly, he’s eager to have you on night shift. He’s been dying for a white cloud.”

“I don’t know if I’d consider myself a white cloud.”

“Compared to the rest of us? You are.”

Santos called out for her and she excused herself before jogging away. Robby watched her go and huffed, “When’s he start, Dana?”

“Monday.” She responded.

The same day Rielly started night shift. Maybe he’d call out sick.

Before the Pitt, night shift had been Skylar’s favorite. It was her only taste of freedom at her old residency. Due to the size of the hospital, she was the only resident on at night. Just her and her night shift attending who she adored. They had given Skylar the chance to grow as a physician and they were probably one of the only reasons she felt mostly competent coming into the Pitt.

Her intimidation of the night attending here was solely off his demeanor. Abbot had been nothing but nice to her after all. Well, maybe ‘nice’ wasn’t the technical term. There probably weren’t many who referred to him as nice, but he was kind. A sharp and important distinction in her mind. Robby was probably right that she had no reason to fear.

She sat at her usual workstation working on charts while bobbing her head to the music that a nurse had put on. Another reason she liked night float, it always just felt more relaxed. Even her clothes to work in, she had chosen scrub pants with a graphic t-shirt and her zip hoodie.

“Help!” A shrill scream filled with horror cut through the ER. Maybe not so relaxed then. Skylar leapt up from her seat and sprinted to the ambulance bay doors, swiping gloves off the counter on her way there, where a woman covered in blood stumbled in sobbing. One of the night nurses, an older woman named LeAnn, and Bridget met her at the same time. “Help me! Oh God, please, help—”

“Ma’am, where are you injured?” Skylar grabbed her by the shoulders to scan and take her in.

“No, no! It’s not me! It’s my husband!” She pointed out the doors. “He’s in the car!”

“Bridget—”

“Got it!”

“Need some extra hands here!” Skylar barked before sprinting out the door. A civic sat in the bay with a man slumped over in the front seat. She ripped open the door as others swarmed out behind her. The man was too pale, and the front of the car was dripping with blood. She pressed her fingers to his neck. “Pulse is thready!”

“We got him.” A voice barked. Skylar scrambled back so a few nurses could climb in.

“What happened?!” Abbot called out.

“A truck—My husband was on his motorcycle and a—a truck hit him outside our apartment! I pulled him into the car—” The patient’s wife’s voice trembled out into a unintelligible sob.

The staff pulled him onto the gurney. Skylar hadn’t seen it at first, the loose sleeve had blended in with the blood soaking the seat, but the man’s arm was gone.

“Where the fuck is his arm??” Skylar yelled.

“In the backseat!” The wife sobbed as Abbot and the staff rolled the patient inside.

Skylar ripped open the back door and laying on the seat, blood pooled around it, was an arm. Fingertip to shoulder. Yeah, relaxed probably wasn’t the right word to ever describe nights in the Pitt.

The last time Langdon felt this nervous to walk into the Pitt was his first day as a third-year medical student. It had been eight months since he had a shift here. Inpatient rehab had only taken 90 days, but he spent the last five months working with an outpatient therapist and going through the physician impairment course. He wanted to prove, beyond a shadow of doubt, that he was ready to be back—that he was safe to be back.

Langdon was glad he got here early. It gave him time to stand outside and stare at the glowing ‘emergency’ pinned above the ambulance bay.

Unable to put it off any further, he blew out a breath and made his way in.

“Hey, doc,” Olsen’s voice called out from the security office as he stepped in. “Long time no see. How’re you?”

“Good. I’m good. Nice to see you, Olsen.” Langdon cleared his throat.

“Central 11 is tolerating NAC well. Her LFTs came back,” Langdon recognized Dawn’s voice, a regular night nurse he had worked with plenty of times, “They’re normal.”

“Yeah, I figured they would be.” A new voice from a new face. She stood at the nurse’s station, leaning against it, while reading off a tablet. Dark hair clipped back, graphic t-shirt with a zip hoodie over it, and hanging off her scrub’s waistband was a badge. He couldn’t read her name, but he could read the word ‘doctor’ in bright red hanging under it. “Too soon to see a significant bump yet. I placed a repeat order in about three hours. When you check out to day team can you let whatever nurse picks them up that those labs are already in?”

Dawn confirmed and rushed away. Langdon furrowed his brow and turned to Olsen, “Who’s that?”

“Hm?” Olsen followed his line of sight and grinned. “Ah, that’s Dr. Rielly. She’s your replacement.”

Langdon did a double take at the news. Not often did residencies find replacements after the year had already begun. He kind of just assumed they’d have an empty spot where he had been. A place for him to slide back into. Langdon’s hope, above all else, was to just pick up where he left off. He knew the chances were low, but he was desperate for a singular win this year.

“Rielly!” Abbot's voice barked, and Langdon unconsciously took a step back. The older attending came into view and approached the new resident. “Who the fuck is in South 16??”

She set aside the tablet and grabbed either end of her stethoscope around her neck, “That would be the wife of the guy we sent up with vascular to get his arm reattached.”

“Why is she unconscious and handcuffed to a bed?”

“We told her that her husband was going to live. She freaked out, admitted she pushed him in front of the truck, tried to make a run for it, slipped, and cracked her head against the floor.” Rielly shrugged. “So, Olsen handcuffed her, and now she’s waiting for a CT.”

Abbot huffed, “Jesus Christ. You’re supposed to be my white cloud.”

The resident grinned, “You and Dr. Robby made that up. I never claimed to be a white cloud!” She pointed at him. “Hell, the first time we really worked together there was a mass casualty event.”

“That didn’t count. You were off shift.” Abbot waved her off. “If you don’t channel the white cloud energy better I’m failing you on this rotation.”

“Oh, shut up.” Rielly laughed. Her eyes drifted past Abbot and landed on him. Langdon stiffened. She straightened her posture. “Hi, sir! Can we help you with something?”

Abbot turned around and his face shifted to surprise only to settle into a frown. Langdon bit back his anxiety and pushed forward. “No.” He gave Abbot a small smile that the attending did not return. “No, I’m Frank Langdon. I work here.”

“Oh.” Rielly’s eyes widened. She looked from Abbot to him then back again. “I…am going to go make my last rounds before all of day team gets here.” She rocked on her heels and nodded to him. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Langdon.”

Langdon could hardly focus on her greeting. The way Abbot glared at him made him nauseous. He squirmed in place and readjusted the bookbag strap hanging from his shoulder.

“Dr. Abbot.” Langdon nodded. “How are you?”

Abbot closed the space between them, and Langdon was surprised when the attending offered him a hand. After a beat of shock, he took it to give a shake. “Welcome back, Frank. Proud to see you here. Admin told us rehab went well.”

“Yeah, I—I’m happy to be back.” Langdon responded.

He tried to pull his hand away, but Abbot tightened his grip. His eyes widened in surprise as Abbot tugged him a step closer. “Addiction is hard to beat. I’ve seen good men fall prey to it. But, pay close fucking attention here,” Langdon swallowed thickly, “Begging and guilting Dana on a day she got assaulted and had to deal with the mass casualty? The shit you said to Robby that night?” Abbot’s voice was sharp, and Langdon felt his heart fall to his feet that some of his worst moments were known by more than the people he put through them. “Yeah, I know. This is your second and only chance. You step out of line, you so much as take a tone with them, and I’ll make sure your ass is out on the street.”

“Yes, sir.” Langdon nodded weakly.

Abbot let go of his hand and clapped Langdon on the shoulder, “Good to see you back, Dr. Langdon. Don’t fuck it up.”

He watched Abbot walk away and stood in place feeling smaller than he had in a while. Since his first few days in rehab. His therapist had said this was part of reparations. Hopes aside, this was expected. If talking to Abbot had been this bad, he didn’t even want to think about what seeing Robby was going to be like. Behind him, he heard Olsen greeting Santos and nothing got him moving faster. Langdon made a beeline for the lockers. That wasn’t an interaction he was ready for yet—it was one he didn’t think she’d be ready for either. Langdon was working off the assumption that Santos wouldn’t want anything to do with him. During rehab, he had spent a lot of time hating the intern. If she hadn’t shown up, if she hadn’t said something, then it all would’ve been fine. Langdon would’ve weaned himself off the benzos as he planned.

That was his thought then. Eight months could change a lot.

For example, Langdon now recognized that what bothered him right out the gate was the fact that Santos reminded him of himself. Information he was too stupid or blind to conclude on his own. He had to pay a therapist to tell him that since his insurance through the residency only covered half of the fee.

“—and I told my landlord I planned on renewing my lease, but he went ahead and started advertising an opening anyways.” Mohan’s voice filled the air.

Collins responded, “What exactly is the plan if you get removed from your apartment?”

“Pitch a tent by the nurses’ station?”

The conversation stopped as they entered the same space as him. Langdon focused on trying to get his locker open, but it rattled uselessly. Mohan called out his name—a mix between greeting and shock. He turned around slowly, a white-knuckle grip on his locker door’s dial, “Mohan. Collins. Nice to see you.”

“Yeah.” Mohan’s eyes were wide in surprise. She shook her head and came closer with a small smile. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks.”

The third year shoved her belongings into her locker and rushed away with a mumbled goodbye.

“Collins—” Langdon began.

“Save it.” Collins sighed and grabbed her locker to place her bookbag away. “Are you solid?”

“Uh,” Langdon nodded, “Yeah. Yes. I’m good. I’ve been good.” He tried to open his locker again and failed. “How’ve you been?”

“Fantastic.” Collins plainly replied. She shut her locker and looked him over. “That’s not your locker anymore. It’s Rielly’s.”

Langdon let his hand fall as Collins walked away. He sighed and rubbed at his features. This wasn’t going to be easy. He knew that. But, this was just day one. He’d get his place back. He’d make amends. He’d be the physician his patients needed. If he had to start from scratch, that was fine. He understood the bridges he burned—the people he disappointed.

“Dr. Langdon!”

His name being said happily made him turn in place to see Mel rushing over with a broad smile. She settled in front of him and clasped her hands together. She looked genuinely happy to see him. Langdon's lips curled up at the sentiment and a soothing ease mellowed the raw anxiety buzzing in his chest. “Hey, Mel. How’ve you been?”

“Great. So good.” Mel nodded and bounced in place. “It’s been great here and we actually have a new doctor and she’s really great.” Mel winced and shook her head. “I feel like I’m saying great a lot.” Langdon chuckled and Mel cleared her throat. “How are you? That’s the more important question.”

Langdon shrugged and repeated her sentiment, “I’m great too.”

“Okay.” Mel squirmed in place then motioned to the lockers with wide eyes. “Oh! Rielly has your locker now. Here,” She moved down a few steps and opened her own, “You can keep your stuff with mine until we get you a new one.”

“Thank you, Mel.” Langdon replied, and he wasn’t sure if she understood he meant for more than just the locker space.

Langdon walked out beside Mel, stethoscope hanging around his neck for the first time in months, and but the two of them were intercepted by the person he wasn't prepared to speak to yet. Robby didn't look angry or disappointed. Just neutral. Detached and disinterested. 

“Morning, Dr. Robby.” Mel greeted.

“Morning, Mel. Mind if I steal Dr. Langdon away for a second?”

She shook her head and shot him a smile before walking away. Langdon felt his mouth go dry. Robby was the person he wanted to talk to most of all but dreaded seeing at the same time. He spent a full eight months regretting the final jab he tossed to his mentor that night and trying to think of what to say to make up for the pain he caused. He was angry, he lashed out, and nothing would take the memory of Robby's pained features. Langdon cleared his throat and began to step back so they could have a bit of privacy, but Robby shook his head.

“Welcome back.” Robby nodded once. “I only want you carrying five patients at a time—”

“Robby—”

“Dr. Robby.” He corrected and Langdon wilted. “We are not friends. I am your attending, and you are a resident of this program.” He had no room to argue otherwise. “You check out every patient to me before placing orders. Every morning before shift starts you give a urine sample. I have the order in already. You don’t see your first patient until I see a passed drug test. Understood?”

Langdon nodded. “Yes.”

“Good. Go.” Robby said. “Leave the sample in the bathroom, Jesse is gonna run by and grab it.”

Robby began to walk away, and Langdon called after him, “Dr. Robby, I’m sorry. You were right about…about everything. I just—I want to be a physician again, and I need to prove to you and everyone that I can be better than I was.”

“We’ll see.” Robby responded without turning around. Langdon watched him approach the nurses’ station as the newest resident, Rielly, began to leave. They spoke briefly and Robby’s shoulders lost a touch of tension. Robby casually held out a hand, not higher than his waist, and the woman let her own brush against it, the softest high five he had ever seen, as she left. Dana, Princess, Perlah, and Olsen, the staff she passed, handed out farewells that she returned with a smile.

Langdon didn’t want to think it, didn’t want to give it any space in his mind, but the feeling of being replaced—forgotten—took the spotlight and his chest ached. He shook it away, quick as it came, and made his way to the bathroom.

McKay ripped off a glove and shot the five-year-old sitting on the gurney a reassuring smile. “That’s it. All done.” The little boy vaguely reminded of her of Harrison when he was younger. The patient’s mother rubbed his small shoulders, and he peeked open one eye warily. “You did so good!”

He had fallen off his bike and ended up with a laceration deep enough to need sutures. McKay had already wrapped her work up by gauze. Settled, the boy’s face broke out into a grin. “That didn’t hurt so bad.”

“You did so good, baby.” His mother kissed the top of his head with a breath of relief. She met McKay’s eyes. “Thank you, Dr. McKay.”

“Of course. I’ll have a nurse swing by with discharge instructions, okay?”

On her way out, she threw away her gloves and scanned the Pitt. She had discharged five of her seven patients which meant it was way over time for her to start picking up new ones. She was halfway to the tracking board when she spotted Langdon sitting at a workstation typing. The staff’s surprise of having him around again had dulled over the last four days.

McKay was happy to see him back at work. From what she knew, McKay had been one of the few to know he was coming back. It was because she was one of the few that kept contact with him after he left. Langdon and her hadn’t been particularly close while working. They were friendly and a special relationship formed between residents who were stuck in traumatic situations for twelve hours nearly every day for over a year, so there was that. It wasn’t until after he left that they grew closer.

After she found out about his addiction.

She was no stranger to the journey of battling substance abuse. McKay had been clean nine years, ten months, and twenty days thus far. Her addiction had ruled her life for too long and almost cost her everything. Losing custody of Harrison had been her wake up call. There was an endless list of devastating thoughts and emotions that haunted her from that time frame, but one of the worst had been post-recovery. When her mind was clear enough to fully grasp the regret that hung heavy on her shoulders. For her, she had changed everything. She got into medical school, straightened things out with Harrison, and her setting was all new. Langdon was coming back into a space where he had abused drugs and where all his peers knew of it. That was tough.

“How’s your day going?” McKay greeted as she paused by his workstation.

Langdon glanced up with a sigh and gave a ragged sigh. “Fantastic. Robby still doesn’t trust me to hand a patient a tissue to blow their nose without asking him first, but…”

“We talked about this. We knew it was going to be rough.” McKay chuckled. “It hasn’t even been a week yet.”

“I know, I know.” Langdon ran a hand through his hair. “I get frustrated that my work is limited, then I get more frustrated when I feel that way because I know it’s my own fault and this is a fucking process.” He huffed and shot her a look of regret. “Sorry.”

McKay shook her head. “It’s okay. You’re doing good, Langdon.” She gave him the same reassuring smile she had offered her last patient. The one she gave Harrison when he was apologizing after a typical newly, teenage meltdown. “Drinks after work?”

“Yes. Yes, please.” Langdon nodded. McKay opened her mouth to comment more when she was interrupted by the sound of her ankle monitor going off. She hung her head in defeat while Langdon laughed. “You know, it’s good to know some things never change.”

McKay lifted her head and pointed at him. “It will change. One more month and this fucking thing is gone.” After she had drilled a hole in it during the Pittfest time had gotten added to her sentence. She began to rush away to get her monitor to shut up. “One more month!”

If looks could kill, Langdon would be on a gurney in trauma 1 coding right now. Collins let her eyes bounce between the returned resident and the attending glaring at him from across the room. Langdon was casually talking to Mel outside of Central 11 with a small smile on his face—seemingly clueless to the doom and gloom cloud threatening to roll over him.

Collins settled beside Robby. “He’s doing good, hm?” He just hummed in response. “It’s been a week and a half. Are you gonna up the number of patients he’s seeing?”

“No.”

“Ah,” Collins nodded, “Guess I’ll just keep carrying double what I should be."

Robby sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Heather…”

“He’s trying. You have to give him that.” Collins argued. “He did great at rehab. He’s been passing his drug screens. He’s making an effort—”

“If you’re carrying double the patients then shouldn’t you be somewhere doing something?” Robby snapped with a glare. Collins locked her jaw and raised an eyebrow at him. He winced and shook his head. “Fuck. Sorry.”

Collins crossed her arms. “Is this mood going to improve when Rielly gets back next week?”

“Jesus,” Robby scoffed, “I take back my apology.” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “This is not a conversation I want to have with you. Especially not sober.” He turned on his heel to head back to the nurses’ station and Collins sighed before following. “Do you have a case to present to me?”

“No. I’m just checking in.”

“Consider me checked in.”

“You know, you’re the only person who hasn’t talked to Langdon one on one.”

“I did talk to him one on one. His first day here, I pulled him aside. I told him how this was going to go.”

Collins shook her head, “That’s not what I meant, and you know that.”

“Jesus, get to your fucking point.” Robby crossed his arms and turned so they were face to face. “Just say it, Collins. You’ve never been one to beat around the bush.”

She mimicked his stance. “You have to talk to Langdon about this. Give him—”

“Forgiveness?” Robby scoffed.

“Just a chance.” Collins finished. “If not for him, for yourself.” Robby shook his head. She glanced around before focusing back on him. “Michael.” He cursed under his breath. “You haven’t been okay since Pittfest. You’ve been better, no doubt, but until you move forward—”

Robby cut her off. “Don’t. I didn’t ask for your opinion on this. We aren’t together anymore.”

“Just because we aren’t dating, I’m not allowed to care?”

“Dr. Collins—”

“Between Langdon and what happened with Jake—”

“Fuck this.” Robby stalked off, waving her off. “Go see your patients, Dr. Collins.”

Collins flinched when she realized she had taken a wrong step. Getting Robby to talk or address his emotions was like a very complicated dance. It was easy to step on his toes and when that happened it all fell apart.

Dana came up behind her with a sigh, “Mentioning Langdon and Jake in one sentence? You really thought that was going to work?”

“I was trying to be efficient.” Collins half joked. “Thought he’d appreciate that.”

“He’s gonna need more time, sweetheart.” Dana rubbed her arms in comfort. “Whether he wants to admit it or not, he lost a relationship with two sons that day.”

Collins understood that. She really did mean well by Robby with bringing this up. There were other residency classes above them, but Langdon had been her only co-resident in the same class. They started as interns together which made them close, and both were very close to Robby just in very different ways.

“The longer he puts this off, the more this is going to fester.” Collins sighed. “I just don’t want to see him snap.” Dana nodded. “What about…How has he been with Jake? He hasn’t talked to me about him in a while and I haven’t seen Jake around.”

“They’re doing better.” Dana shrugged. “Not great though from what I hear.”

“Right.” She took in a deep breath. “Dana, can you—”

“I’ll keep an eye on him. Check in myself after he has some time to cool off.”

“Thank you.”

Collins wandered away with a shake of her head. With her graduation date on the horizon, she just wanted to make sure things were as settled as possible. Her phone buzzed against her leg, and she lifted her wrist to read the name of who texted her off her watch. Her lips twitched up. She’d text back later.

Langdon and Mel had separated and now Langdon leaned against the counter watching the tracking board. A familiar sight she'd admit she missed. Collins saddled up beside him and he glanced over at her in surprise. She smirked at him, “How’s it going, sunshine?”

With his first two weeks back coming to a close, Langdon didn’t feel so hopeless. He basically had the responsibilities of a medical student and if Robby was any more on top of him he’d be sitting on his fucking shoulders, but it was fine. He was fine. The days were long, longer since his evenings were still spent arguing with Abby more often than not, but he was where he was supposed to be. Nothing felt more right than when he was practicing medicine and even with his back pain flaring up and an itch under his skin for a hit, Langdon was happy.

“Do you know who I am!?” A patient bellowed. He had come in with vague abdominal pain, probably acid reflux, but because he knew someone on the hospital board, he thought he deserved immediate attention over everyone else. “Do you know who I am!?”

Langdon walked over to the tracking board with a shake of his head.

“What a fucking asshole.”

“—asshole.”

His word was simultaneously echoed by Santos. Langdon glanced over to see her at a workstation, and she caught his eye with a wide look of surprise. She cleared her throat. “The guy in North 3.”

“Yeah, he is.” Langdon chuckled. He paused for a second then pulled the trigger before he could convince himself to run. “And, so was I.” Santos stiffened in her seat, and now she looked like she wanted to be the one to make a break for it. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head and glanced around, “Please tell me we’re not about to do this here.”

“Oh, I am. Consider it payback.” He joked then winced. “But, uh, not really. I mean…Look, I appreciate what you did.” Santos raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I appreciate it now. Yeah, I hated you when it happened—hell, I still hated you five months ago.”

“Cool.”

“But, a lot has changed.” He said. “I’ve changed.”

Santos pressed her lips together with a skeptical nod. “Yeah, I’ve had people tell me that before.”

Langdon blew out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. He understood her point. How many times did he see patients here who claimed to have changed only for them to roll back in a few months later in the same condition? He dragged his thumb against the bracelet on his wrist.

“I get that.” Langdon mumbled. “I know me and you may never actually get along, but it was… important to me that I say thanks.” He cleared his throat. “I realize now, if you hadn’t said something I would have just kept on going. Telling myself that things were going to be different without ever making the actual steps toward it. So…thank you, Dr. Santos.”

Langdon turned to leave, having bothered her plenty, but he only got a few steps away before Santos called after him. She was still frowning but her skepticism seemed to have settled. “It’s—It’s good to see you back, Dr. Langdon.”

His lips curled up marginally as he nodded in appreciation.

Chapter Text

"Names have power, like magic spells." 

“You’re shit at this game.” Skylar chuckled and flipped a card.

Abbot glared at her as she took both on the counter, “Wrong. Saying I’m shit at this game implies there’s a way to improve my skills.” They flipped another set of cards, and Skylar took them again. “This is pure luck.”

“Fine. You’re unlucky.”

“That I can attest to.”

Skylar liked Abbot, but that was hardly a surprise. He was a good doctor. In the last two weeks, she had learned so much. More than that, his grumpy demeanor kept her plenty entertained.

“So, do you ever work day shift?” Skylar asked.

Abbot shook his head. “Rarely.”

“Why?”

“I take comfort in the darkness.”

Skylar snickered, “Yeah, okay, Batman.” Abbot chuckled in response, but it was short lived and replaced with a curse as she took more of his cards. “Does your wife work night shift too?”

“Huh?” Abbot paused, eyebrows furrowed.

Skylar noticed the man had a habit of playing with his ring. Usually when he was thinking or zoned out. Abbot would, seemingly unconsciously, use his left thumb to spin the gold ring around his finger. She nodded to his left hand. “I mean, I don’t know what she does for work, but it can’t be easy if you worked nights all the time and she didn’t.”

“Right.” Abbot chuckled. He shook his head. “No, my wife passed. About eight years ago now.”

“Shit.” Skylar’s eyes widened. “Abbot, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to—to bring that up.”

“Bet you feel real bad right now.” Abbot held his hand out. “Give me half your deck as penance.”

She pulled her deck closer to her chest. “No. You and Dr. Robby are so bad at losing.” Abbot chuckled and flipped another card. She followed suit and twisted her lips in thought. “Abbot, I really am—”

“It’s fine, Rielly. You didn’t know. No harm, no foul.”

They continued on, only interrupted by a few questions from nursing, and having to check in on one patient. After her first night, things really had died down quite a bit. Skylar was beginning to think they had a point with the ‘white cloud’ claims.

“You and Mel figure out your schedules yet?” Abbot asked. Only 45 minutes remained in the shift which meant the day team was starting to trickle in.

Skylar nodded, “Yeah. We’re just swapping weeks.”

Mel couldn’t work the next two weeks on night shift because of something going on with her sister. Since Skylar was already on night shift and she had already adjusted to the flipped scheduled, she offered to swap with her co-resident. It wasn’t a big deal. Mel would work the next two weeks she was on night shift—in June.

“Four full weeks.” Abbot whistled. “Usually only third and fourth years get a full month at a time. You gonna be okay?”

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Abbot?”

“Depends on if you beat me this round.” He flipped a card.

Skylar really didn’t mind night shift. She liked it, but it was dawning on her that she didn’t feel the same about it as she did before. Abbot had been great, the night staff had been awesome, but she was really starting to miss the day team.

“You’ll have Shen next week as the attending.”

“That’s fine.” It wouldn’t be the first time. Shen had picked up a few shifts last week when Abbot was off. Skylar grinned. “He brings me iced coffee when he comes.”

Abbot snorted, “What? You hinting that I should be bringing you gifts or something?”

“Offering sacrifices and gifts to the white cloud will only bode well for future shifts.” Skylar hummed.

“Fuck.” He chuckled. “Might have a point there. You accept gift cards?”

Robby told himself he wasn’t going to fall into a bad mood until at least lunch time. That’s all he was asking for. Five hours of not muttering curses under his breath. He hadn’t been successful for the last two weeks, but he was always hopeful coming in. Or delusional. That might’ve been the better word. Case and point, Robby walked in for his shift at 6:38 in the morning and immediately found himself irritable as he watched Rielly and Abbot together at his workstation playing cards. Rielly was sitting on the counter, laughing, and lightly bumped her fist against his friend’s shoulder.

“Yeah, Abbot,” Rielly wore a smile that Robby looked for every morning as if it were the sunrise itself, “Bring me one of those Visa gift card.”

“Fuck that.” Abbot snorted. “You’re getting one from Dollar General. I pass it on my way home.”

He crossed the Pitt in a few long strides, and his annoyance was briefly eased by the bright greeting Rielly offered him.

“Slow night?” Robby asked.

“Yeah. My white cloud is finally working.” Abbot said offhandedly with a nod toward Rielly.

She responded to his comment, playfully, but Robby couldn’t hear her words over the grinding of his own teeth. ‘My white cloud’. It was said as a jest. Robby knew that. Abbot wasn’t making a claim on her. Robby knew that. He knew that, he knew that, he knew that, yet his blood boiled all the same.

“Oh, Dr. Robby.” Rielly said. Abbot was just Abbot, but he was Dr. Robby. He dragged his thumb along his eyebrow as if pushing away a headache that hadn’t even formed yet. Robby nodded once, and she continued. “I’m gonna put an official request in, but just so you know when you see it, I’m swapping night shifts with Mel.”

Robby blinked at the news—speechless. Mel had mentioned something going on with her sister and looking into swapping shifts, but he just assumed it would be someone else. Abbot raised an eyebrow at his lack of reply, “Robby.”

“Is…Is that okay?” Rielly suddenly looked nervous, and he wilted at being the cause.

“Yeah, no. That’s fine. Don’t worry about it, Rielly.” Robby pushed away from the counter with a forced chuckle. “Why not?”

He rapped his knuckles against the nurses’ station and made a break for it. He needed coffee. Now. Robby had made these last two weeks harder on himself by making Langdon check out to him on every patient like an intern again. In part due to a lack of trust, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t also out of spite. As stupid, cheesy, and pathetic as it was, Robby had at least been looking forward to Rielly being back on days.

There went that.

Abbot crossed his arms and leaned against the counter where Dana was getting unpacked. He glanced across the Pitt where Robby had disappeared in a sour mood. “Hey,” He said, “What’s wrong with our sad boy?” Dana chuckled at the nickname he had learned from her. “He’s been pissy the last week, but he copped an attitude with Rielly.”

“Uh, no. He was upset with you.”

“Me?? The hell for?”

Dana smirked and turned to face him, “You and Rielly have been buddy-buddy.” Abbot shrugged. He didn’t see why that mattered. “And now you’re keeping her longer?”

“I’m not keeping her. She’s covering for Mel.”

“Regardless.” Dana scoffed. “Now I gotta deal with his sour mood for another two weeks all because you gotta be friendly with his favorite resident.”

Abbot’s eyebrows raised in interest, “Favorite? Rielly?”

“How would you feel if Robby stole your favorite for a full month.”

“I don’t have a favorite.” Abbot argued and Dana gave him a dry look in response. Mohan’s features flickered in his mind. An involuntary thought he buried down. “I don’t.” He focused back on the matter at hand, scanning the Pitt for his friend, “His favorite, huh?”

“I don’t like the look in your eyes.”

Abbot grinned, “Oh, I’m gonna fuck with him.”

“Leave sad boy alone.” Dana set her hands on her hips.

“After November 17^th?” Abbot was beside himself in excitement. “Hell no.”

“Are you ever going to let that shift go?”

“Absolutely not.”

Dana grabbed him by the arm with a laugh, “This is fun for you because you don’t gotta deal with him during the day.” She shook her head. “Nobody likes seeing the chief mope.”

Abbot tucked away his plans for the time being and set his hand on Dana’s back to corral them a little further from the nearby staff. He nodded, “How has it been going during the day? With Langdon, I mean.”

“Langdon has been picture perfect.” Dana replied. “Passes all his drug tests, sees his patients efficiently, no issues so far. More of a team player than he was before—almost to a fault. You can tell he’s trying.” Abbot hummed in response. “He apologized to me. To some others. Even Santos, but I don’t think Robby’s given him time to make amends.”

Abbot crossed his arms with a small shrug. He had very little pity for Langdon in regards to Robby. He understood the illness that was addiction, and he commended the resident for pushing through and getting the help he needed. It wasn’t easy. Abbot even heard his wife and him had split, but that could’ve been a rumor. All that aside, Robby cared for Langdon like a son. His friend may not admit it aloud, but Abbot knew the betrayal had been sharp.

“Don’t worry about it, Dana.” Abbot squeezed her shoulders. “Sad boy’ll make it.”

“You’re not gonna fuck with him?” Dana raised an eyebrow.

Abbot laughed with a shake of his head, “Oh, no, no. I’m definitely gonna fuck with him.”

Robby took a long, slow sip of lukewarm coffee. If he focused hard enough, then maybe he could trick his brain into enjoying it. Abbot was rolling through check out and he paid enough attention to it.

“Hey,” Rielly’s voice made him look up from where he sat, “I finished checking out to the residents.” She readjusted her bag on her shoulders then reached out to set a hand on Robby’s shoulder. “Good luck today, Dr. Robby.”

“Thank you, Rielly.” Robby felt a bit of tension leave his body and he offered her a small smile. “Get home safe, alright?”

It had been a long two weeks of overseeing Langdon’s patients while dodging his attempts at further apologies, so Robby cut himself some slack and memorized her soft smile without shame. His moment of self-indulgence was cut short when Rielly turned to Abbot with a grin.

“I’ll see you tonight, Abbot.” She pointed to him. “I want my Dollar General gift card.”

“I let you beat me at War. Is that not enough for you?”

“Nope.”

Oh, good. They had inside jokes.

“Whatever. Get the hell out of here before you get sucked into a case.” Abbot responded. Rielly waved once more before making her way out. Robby watched her go with a huff and took a longer, slower sip of his cold coffee. “She’s good, isn’t she?”

Robby nodded. “She is.”

“I’ve been talking to her about her elective month.” Abbot said. “Maybe keep her on nights.” Robby locked his jaw with a tight-lipped grimace. God, it was only 7:01. “She seems to like it.”

“Mhmm.”

“Yeah, she was—”

“What patient were we on?” Robby interrupted and squinted at the board. “South 20?”

Abbot picked up where he left off and Robby ran his tongue over his molars as a distraction, counting each one. When check out was done, he ushered Abbot off and decided to take a hike around the Pitt.

This day could be turned around, surely.

Mel hugged the tablet to her chest as she scurried about the Pitt looking for Langdon. He wasn’t a supervising resident anymore, but she enjoyed his insight. Honestly, she just enjoyed talking to him overall. It was odd. Mel had only known Langdon for one 12-hour shift before he left her life. Despite that, she had really missed working with him. It wasn’t something she necessarily understood, but she didn’t have to to enjoy him being back. Her search ended at Trauma 2 where she saw him leading a code on a patient. Mel’s eyes widened. Transport had rushed in nearly an hour ago with a possible overdose that he had picked up. Was this still the same patient?

“Mel, you need something?”

She spun in place to see Collins had approached her.

“Oh.” Mel glanced down at the tablet she carried. “Yeah. I had a question about a patient, and I was going to see if Langdon was busy…”

Collins offered her a small smile. “I think he’s gonna be busy a while longer. Wanna share with me?”

Mel nodded quickly, “Yeah, okay. He’s in North 5.”

The patient wasn’t overly complicated. More of a polypharmacy case that Mel was struggling to weed through. He obviously needed a few things trimmed now considering he was hypotensive and dizzy, but she didn’t know what all would be appropriate to cut here in the ER since she didn’t trust the patient would actually return to their PCP for follow up as they should.

With Collins’ help, they made quick work of it.

“If it makes you feel better, you can have the front desk print and fax your note to the patient’s PCP’s office.” Collins said outside the room. “That’s really the most you can do though. The rest is in their hands.”

“We have to fax it over?” Mel blinked.

“Yeah. 2025 and we’re probably one of the few fields still using a fax machine.” She chuckled. “Doesn’t help that our EHR doesn’t match most of the local outpatient offices.”

“What do they use?”

“Athena and Epic mostly.”

“Are those better than Allscripts?” Mel asked curiously. PTMH was on Allscripts and Mel didn’t mind it. The only other one she had used in the past was Meditech which was similar enough in her mind.

Collins shook her head. “I don’t think I’ve ever used an EHR I liked. Rumor has it PTMH is gonna switch to Epic eventually. That’ll be a nightmare.”

“Epic is bad?”

“No, I hear a lot of people prefer it. I’ve only ever used Cerner.” Collins shrugged. “It’s just really sad to watch an entire hospital of aged physicians suddenly try and learn a new system.” She paused and a small smirk appeared on her face. “Although, watching Abbot try would be fun.”

Mel hummed. “Why’s that?”

Collins chuckled. “He’s always been more of a paper charts kind of guy. Robby said watching him get used to Allscripts was like pulling teeth.”

Someone across the room called for Collins and she shot Mel one more smile before disappearing. Mel drummed her fingers against the tablet before moving on. It would be pretty overwhelming to suddenly learn a brand new EHR while managing the chaos of the Pitt.

Mel made her way back to the tracking board and her eyes automatically drifted to Trauma 2. It looked like the code had ended as the room was empty all for Langdon. She set the tablet back in its place and went to check in. Slipping into the room, she was finally able to see the outcome of the code. The patient, a young man maybe in his twenties, was deceased and laid on the bed in the mess of his attempted resurrection. Langdon stood off to the side, arms crossed, and staring at him.

“Langdon?” Mel called out softly. He didn’t respond. “Langdon, are you okay?”

Langdon didn’t look over to her and just uncrossed his arms to show her a coin. Mel walked closer to inspect the item. It was about the size of a dollar coin but bronze with blue accents. She squinted to try and read the words on it.

“It’s a sobriety chip.” Langdon supplied her the information. “The patient was one year sober.” He cleared his throat and set the coin among the pile of the patient’s other belongings. “Or at least he was until today.”

Rooms after a code failed made her nauseous. It wasn’t the body or the blood or the mess. It was the sadness that clung to the air. It was the deafening silence that followed a cacophony of desperation. She was still learning to handle being in these rooms better than before, but right now it was worse. Mel could physically feel the dread and horror rolling off Langdon in waves—crashing into her and making her chest ache.

She knew why he had been gone. Mel was bad about picking up on gossip around here, but that hadn’t been lost on her. Unlike many of the others, she hadn’t felt betrayal or shame, but rather pride. Mel had clung to Langdon as a mentor quickly and all she saw that day was her mentor save lives during a mass casualty event followed by going to rehab to heal. Two huge tasks for someone to take on.

“Do you…” Mel twisted her lips, trying to find her words, “Do you have a chip?”

She had settled beside him and still without looking her way, Langdon fished into his scrub pocket and pulled out a similar coin but red. He let out a quiet scoff. “It’s my 8 month chip. In two weeks I’ll be picking up my 9 month chip.”

“That’s amazing.” Mel replied.

“I guess.” Langdon slipped the coin back into his pocket with a shrug. “Feels a little pointless right now.” Mel’s eyes widened. He verbally backpedaled and shook his head. “Sorry, that’s probably not the right word.” Langdon’s gaze finally met hers. “I’m not…craving anything right now. It just,” He heaved a sigh, “Seeing this guy lying here dead with a one year chip is a sad reminder that this is my life now. No matter what I do, I’m just always going to be at risk of relapse.”

Mel furrowed her brow, “You shouldn’t think that way. You can’t compare your journey to his or anyone else’s.” She glanced over at the body again and shook her head. “Everybody is so proud of you and—and we’re here if you need us, you know?”

“Not everyone.” Langdon chuckled but after a beat of staring at her, he shook his head. “Thank you, Mel. How’re your patients today?”

She wasn’t quite sure who he was referencing, who he thought wasn’t proud of him, but Mel could tell he was looking for a distraction. “Good. I have a patient I’d love to get your opinion on though.” She pointed over her shoulder. She didn’t really, but if it was a distraction he wanted she could help him find it.

Robby knew he needed to swallow his pride and approach Collins. He had put it off long enough, and with each new day came a fresh wave of guilt. When she had approached him a while back about… She had meant well and he had blown her off. After all their history, Collins deserved better than that. He locked his jaw and pressed on.

“Hey.” Collins greeted as he settled beside her at the nurses’ station. She stayed focused on the tablet she was placing orders now. “Need something?”

“Yeah.” Robby sighed. “You got a minute to talk?”

Collins lifted her gaze with a raised eyebrow, “Depends on what you want to talk about.”

“An apology? From me to you.”

“Oh, I always have time for that.”

Robby chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “About before…I’m sorry I snapped at you. It wasn’t fair of me, and I—I do appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“Do you appreciate it enough to try talking to Langdon?”

He shook his head in mild amusement. Robby was far from ready to sit down and have the heart-to-heart Langdon was hoping for. That being said, seeing the look of absolute devastation on the young man’s face when they lost their overdose patient had been sickening. He had offered the only comfort he was able, a passing pat on the shoulder as he left, but Robby was still angry. He didn’t want to be. Holding onto this feeling felt like bottling fire in his chest—it burned him alive. However, when nightmares of Pittfest came to haunt him one of the voices of self-doubt narrating his worst fears was Langdon's. Their final conversation would have left less marks if his resident had just punched him.

“Michael,” Collins began quietly, and he winced at the sound of his first name. It was always a sign that she meant business. “I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m fine.”

“Rarely has that been true.” Collins argued. “I’m graduating in three months, and I just want to see things resolved before…”

Robby furrowed his brow, “Before? Before what?” Collins flinched and glanced away. He stepped closer. “Heather—”

“I turned down the attending job here.”

“You what?”

Collins shook her head, “It’s a long story, but…I signed somewhere else.”

Robby was stunned. He hadn’t talked to her or asked about it because he had just assumed she was staying on. She’d graduate this summer and come aboard as one of the attendings alongside him. To hear that was not the case…

“Where are you going?”

Collins hesitated before responding, “Portland.”

She was from there so it wasn’t absurd, but he still couldn’t get past the knowledge that in three short months he wouldn’t be seeing her around the Pitt. Their romantic relationship had ended two years ago, not counting a relapse where they had fallen into bed together maybe a year and a half back, but none of that changed how important she was to him. Over time their bond had morphed to a new shape, but the care was still there. It always would be.

“I…I wish you had told me this before.” Robby said—hurt.

“I wanted to. I planned to. But you haven’t been in the best mood this last month.” Collins gave him a soft, apologetic smile.

That was fair, and this certainly wasn’t going to help it.

Robby looked up at the sound of a new arrival. Two EMTs were bringing in a patient on a stretcher but it didn’t look like a trauma. Dana was motioning them to an available room to get them settled. Before he could look away, one of the paramedics veered away to approach the nurses’ station. Robby turned slightly to see what they needed. Based on the patch on his shirt, the man was also a firefighter.

“Hey, how’s it going?” The young man greeted.

“Fine.” Robby replied. “Can we help you?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for someone.”

“Patient name?”

He grinned, “Nah, a doctor actually.” This seemed to perk Collins’ attention as well. “Is Dr. Rielly in today?”

Robby blinked in shock, and he could feel Collins staring at him. Rather than address her, he cleared his throat, “Can I ask why you’re looking for Dr. Rielly?”

“Just some follow up.”

“You look fine.” Robby snapped. If the firefighter/paramedic noticed his tone, the man didn’t show it. Collins on the other hand snickered beside him. He rubbed at his forehead, “I just mean… She’s not on today. So, if you tell us the medical issue we can get you looked at.”

The man groaned with a shake of his head. “Damn. Do you know when she’ll be back?”

“No.”

Collins had turned her back to the man, her nose buried in a tablet, but Robby knew she was still listening in closely based on the hushed chuckles she was trying to swallow down. This time the man seemed to notice Robby’s clipped tone and hummed.

“Gotcha. I was worried I’d miss her.” He leaned over the counter slightly. “Do you have a scrap of paper I can borrow?” Robby had another ‘no’ loaded on his tongue when Collins whipped around and offered a random business card she found in a drawer. Robby glared at her as she grinned. The man scribbled on the back before holding it out. “Can you tell her Jordan Smoke swung by to say hello?”

Collins plucked the card out of Jordan’s hand, “We’ll see what we can do.”

“Thanks. Y’all have a good one.” Jordan gave a friendly wave before turning to leave.

There was a long pause of silence before Collins cleared her throat and held out the card to him. On the back was the young man’s name and phone number. She chuckled, “Can I trust you to get this to her or do I need to pass it along to someone who isn’t seething about it?”

“I’ll handle it.” Robby snatched it from her fingers and carelessly shoved it into his hoodie pocket. He followed it by pointing at her. “We’re not done talking about Portland.”

“I agree. I’ll talk about Portland if you talk about Rielly.”

“There’s nothing to talk about on the topic of Rielly.”

Collins shot him a dry look.

He re-emphasized, “There’s not.”

“Mhmm.”

Robby found the clock on the wall with a scoff, “When does this fucking shift end? Jesus.”

Sometimes shifts had themes. It was decided entirely up to fate, and she was at the whim of whatever the universe wanted to throw her way. There was one shift months ago where the theme seemed to be broken bones. A wrist, three arms, a femur, two hips, and a collarbone. A trend of sorts. Tonight’s unofficial theme was misogyny.

“I don’t wanna see a nurse. I want a doctor.” The man holding an ice pack to his face huffed.

“Good news. I am a doctor.” Skylar tapped her finger against her badge hanging from her waist. The one with the word ‘DOCTOR’ written in bright fucking red. “So, I can—”

“No way. Women just weren’t meant to be doctors. At the end of the day, you females are just so overly emotional.” The man argued as he threw a very emotional temper tantrum. “I want a real doctor.”

This was her seventh patient of the night who had questioned her credentials or commented on her looks in some way, shape, or form. She took a step closer and nodded, “Here are your choices. Either you put down the ice pack and let me look at your eye or I put you back in the waiting room so you can wait for a man.” She smiled. “At the end of the day, your comfort is my number one priority! So, you just let me know.”

Skylar turned to leave, and he called out. She rolled her eyes before turning back to where he had lowered his ice pack. She pulled on a pair of gloves and walked over to palpate his face. The patient winced as she felt around his eye socket.

“How’d this happen?”

“Some jackass at the bar punched me.”

“Punched you? No.” Skylar dragged the word out mockingly. “You’re so charming.”

The man scowled, “Your man let you talk back like that?”

Sanity wavering, Skylar pressed a bit harder against his cheekbone and the man hissed. She let her hands fall and ripped off the gloves. “Looks like you might have a fracture. Lemme go put some orders in and we’ll get an x-ray.”

She left without waiting for a reply and asked LeAnn to place a facial x-ray under her name. She continued to the other room she needed to see before sitting down. In North 3, an older woman laid on the bed resting.

“Hey, Mrs. Tindle.” Skylar greeted and read the monitor by the woman’s bed. “How’re you feeling?”

“I feel so much better after you gave me that medicine. Thank you so much, Ms. Skylar.”

Skylar scrunched her nose and chuckled, “Doctor.”

“Hm?”

“It’s, uh, it’s Dr. Rielly. Or I guess if we’re compromising, Dr. Skylar.”

Mrs. Tindle smiled, “Wow. So, you’re one of those doctor assistant people?”

“Nope.” Skylar replied. “Just a doctor.”

“Like a real doctor??”

“Yupp.”

“Wow!” Mrs. Tindle gasped, and Skylar nodded. “Good for you, dear!” She mumbled a thank you. “What about your family though? I’m sure your kiddos miss you when you work these late shifts.”

Skylar shook her head. “I don’t have kids, Mrs. Tindle. I don’t even have a husband.”

The patient stared blankly before a frown flickered across her features and she asked her next question in a hushed tone, “Honey, you’re not one of those…one of those gays are you?”

“I’m gonna go get you discharged Mrs. Tindle.” Skylar announced loudly. “See your PCP later this week.”

Skylar stormed back to the nurses’ station on a warpath and roughly badged into a computer to place discharge orders. Thompson, who was back on his last night shifts for the year, looked up from where he sat a few spaces away. “Hey, you alright?”

“Fine.” Skylar shook her head. “Except all shift I’ve been called anything but doctor because apparently us women folk are only allowed to stay at home barefoot and pregnant.”

Thompson laughed, “Why do you let that bother you? Who cares?” He rose and grabbed a tablet to see a patient. “These people are insane. I get called all sorts of stuff.”

Skylar locked her jaw as he wandered away. She wasn’t upset at Thompson. Her irritation had stemmed elsewhere, but his response hadn’t helped. It wasn’t about being pretentious and demanding the title, it wasn’t about looking down on other professions, it was the frustration of having something she worked so fucking hard for be demeaned, belittled, and brushed aside.

“You discharging North 3?” Abbot asked as he walked up.

“Yeah.” Skylar replied sharper than she meant. Abbot raised an eyebrow at her in question and she shook her head. “Sorry. It’s been a long shift.”

“Only four hours left, Rielly. Hang in there.”

Abbot continued on his way and Skylar watched him go for a beat before badging out and looking to the tracking board for a new patient to replace the one she was sending home. Forty-eight-year-old male with flu-like symptoms in South 16. Mr. Mouton. She grabbed a tablet, too lazy to push a COW, and made her way to South Wing with a sigh. Abbot was right. Only four hours left of tonight, and only three night shifts left. Skylar didn’t think a full month of nights would wear her out the way it had so far, but by God was she ready for daylight.

“Hey, Mr. Mouton,” Skylar slid into the room and left the door open, “I’m Dr. Rielly and I’m the emergency medicine resident on tonight. I hear you’re not feeling so great.”

“I’m not.” The man on the gurney said simply. He sat on the edge with his feet touching the floor. There was nothing unique about him that stood out. Plain shirt, plain pants. He didn’t seem ill-appearing or in acute distress, but he was clearly upset so that may have been whatever his symptoms were causing or just the wait time of the Pitt.

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Skylar pressed on. “Can you tell me about your symptoms?”

“I already told the front desk and the nurse and now I have to tell you too?”

“I know this is frustrating, but I just like to hear in your own words how you’re feeling so I can get you the best treatment.”

“I know what I have.” Mr. Mouton grunted. “That damned China virus.” Skylar kept a small smile on her face and didn’t let her irritation show. “I need Ivermectin.”

Skylar took a slow breath through her nose while nodding, “Right. Well, it looks like you were swabbed when you came in and the tests came back negative. No flu, no RSV, and no COVID.” She tapped on the screen in her hand. “And I see you’ve already had a dose of Tylenol when you came in.”

“I can take Tylenol at home.” He scoffed. While he began to ramble about the wait times, Skylar scanned his chart. He had been here the last four nights in a row for similar symptoms. She hadn’t recognized his name though. As she dug deeper, it became clear why. Other physicians had grabbed him. There was a note from one note from Shen, two from abbot, and yesterday was Thompson. “Are you even fucking listening to me?”

Skylar lifted her gaze, “Yes, sir, I am. I was just looking at some of your previous visits. Looks like you've been here a few days in a row.”

“That’s because no one is taking care of me the way I need!”

“And what way is that?”

“I need Ivermectin!” He snapped.

“Are you concerned about having a parasite? Ivermectin is an anti-parasitic. I can test you for—”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Skylar twisted her lips, “I have a $250,000 piece of paper that says otherwise.”

Mr. Mouton scoffed, “What? You think because you went to college and medical school that you know more than me?”

“Yeah.” Skylar replied plainly.

“You’re just one of those overeducated bitches—”

“’Overeducated’ is not the insult you think it is.” Skylar mumbled.

“—just give me what I want!”

Skylar sighed, tired of arguing, and sighed, “I’m gonna go get Dr. Abbot. He may be better equipped—”

“You’re trying to get rid of me!?”

“No,” Skylar shook her head, “You’ve seen Dr. Abbot a couple times these last few days and I thought you might be more comfortable with him.”

“He didn’t give me the medicine I needed.”

Skylar scanned through his chart again to make sure the other labs were normal. “Mr. Mouton, give me a minute and I’ll check—” Her words were interrupted when a hand knocked the tablet out of her hand. It hit the floor roughly and skittered to the wall. Skylar looked up to glare at him. She stomped over and scooped the tablet up with full plans to leave him sitting in here begging for Ivermectin until shift change. “Mr. Mouton, knocking things out of my hand isn’t going to get you what you want.”

She turned to see he had risen from the bed and now stood between her and the door. Skylar kept her face neutral, but she knew she had fucked up. Tired, annoyed, and overconfident in dealing with assholes, she had let her guard down. Fuck.

“I know this is frustrating. Having to come here so many days in a row.” Skylar kept her voice as steady as she could manage. Bargain. She needed to talk her way out of this room. “Look, let me go check our Pyxis machine—it’s where we keep our medicine—we might have some down here.”

She took a step forward, casually, and offered a smile. Mr. Mouton’s lips twitched into a transient smile of his own, excitement, and she understood he hadn’t come here multiple days in a row for Ivermectin—it was for this. He was picking a fight and today he found the person stupid enough to get caught in a corner.

Skylar sucked in a breath, mouth open to yell, but he was on top of her before a sound slipped out. Hands wrapped around her throat, and she was shoved backwards until she hit the wall hard. Air gone, she clawed at any of his skin she could reach but he didn’t even blink. Skylar swung the tablet as hard as she could into the side of his head and his hands loosened just enough for her to gasp for air. With a grunt, he pulled her closer and shoved her into the wall again. Clawing at his hands hadn’t helped so she tried to reach for his face. Black spots flickered in her vision and panic blossomed beyond the pain.

A second of clarity, maybe her last, and Skylar reached for the wall beside her. She clawed at the oxygen, the suction, the bed remote, and finally a handle. She yanked down and an alarm rang overhead as the ‘code blue’ was called.

“Code in South 16! Need some help here!”

It was faint, she couldn’t recognize the voice, and her legs grew weak as her vision continued to fade. She blinked. Darkness. Yelling. Then, air. Finally, air. Skylar gasped, coughing and hacking, vision snapping into painful clarity, and she realized she was on the floor. Move. Gotta move. Skylar tried to crawl away—under the bed—when a hand grabbed at her side. She swung an arm out blindly, hitting something, but the hands didn’t leave.

“Skylar. Skylar! It’s me, you’re safe, it’s okay.” A deep voice said roughly in her ear. Abbot? She was pulled off the ground suddenly and when the overhead lights hit her face she winced. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to take a breath. Fire burned in her throat. Arms were gone, replaced by a bed under her, and she squirmed. Fingers pried an eye open, a flashlight blinding her, and she shoved them away. “Rielly, you gotta let me look at you.”

“No.” Her voice was hoarse. There was too much color, too much sound, too much everything. Skylar had to run. She couldn’t sit still. She was half off the bed when hands pushed her shoulders down—pinning her to the bed.

“If you don’t stay put, I’ll have to restrain you.”

The words didn’t even register. All she could focus on was the pressure holding her down. Skylar swung and when she made contact the hands released her. She jumped up and stumbled a few steps before freezing in place. She blinked a few times. The Pitt. She was in the Pitt. Her sensory overload began to simmer, and the pain became apparent. Skylar cradled her throat as it burned. She turned in place and realized she was surrounded. Some of the staff, with Abbot standing at the front, holding his side, with one hand outstretched toward her—like she was an animal on the loose. Skylar swallowed, winced, then hoarsely whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Rielly had a hell of a swing and killer aim. The last thing he expected while trying to corral her into the bed was getting hit. She had managed to catch him in the diaphragm hard enough to knock the air from him briefly.

“Dr. Abbot, where should we put—”

“I don’t fucking care.” Abbot snapped at the security officer holding the jackass from south 16. “Cops are on the way, but I want him the fuck out of my ER.” The man’s face was busted from where they slammed him into the floor, but Thompson had already cleared him of his injures. The security officer hesitated while holding Rielly’s attacker. Abbot pointed out the door, “I said get him out! He can sit on the fucking curb.”

Abbot scanned for Rielly. She had slipped away, and he was surprised to find her sitting at her workstation charting as if nothing had happened. He took a step closer, and Thompson slid into his path with a shake of his head.

“She doesn’t want to talk, Dr. Abbot. I tried to—”

“Move.” Abbot pushed past him. He reached Rielly who didn’t look up from what she was typing. The skin along her neck was painted in shades of ugly purple. “Rielly, we need to get you seen.” She ignored him. Abbot leaned over a bit. “You need imaging.” Arriving to the scene had been horrifying. Seeing Rielly go limp in the vice grip around her throat. It took three people to subdue the asshole, and Abbot watched helplessly as collapsed to the floor in a limp pile. “Rielly—”

“I don’t want to be a patient.” Her voice was hoarse and quiet. “I’m fine, Abbot.”

“No, actually, you’re not.” He replied rougher than he probably should have. “At the very least, let me do a physical. Give you some medicine. Fluids. I think you’re in shock.”

Again, no response. Abbot sighed and reached out to move her hair and get a better look at her bruises. Rielly ripped herself away, out of his reach, and glared at him, “Don’t fucking touch me.” Abbot held his hands out in surrender. The sound of her voice made his own throat hurt. “You’re not my doctor. You’re my attending.” Abbot took a step back to give her more space. “That means you can either send me home or leave me alone to finish my charts.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Abbot replied softly. “I don’t want you seeing any more patients. Finish your charts.”

Rielly turned back to her computer. Abbot glanced around to see others had slowed to stare and he motioned for them to get back to work. He walked away, glancing back at her, and pulled out his phone with a sigh. He hated to do this, but he also knew his friend would kill him if he didn’t.

Abbot wasn’t worried about Robby not answering. He had the same bad habit of leaving his phone on and by the bed in case of emergencies. The phone rang three times before Robby’s groggy voice came over the line. “Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“We had a…” Abbot stepped further away from the nurses’ station, away from Rielly, “…an incident. A code white.”

There was shuffling over the line and Robby’s voice was more awake, “What happened?”

“Patient got a hold of Rielly.” Abbot sighed. Robby must have been rushing around his room based on the background noise. “She’s…okay, but she won’t let me do a workup. I thought maybe—”

“I’m on my way.”

The line went dead. Abbot pocketed his phone and sat down to wait. He knew he wouldn’t have to wait long.

The plus side of physical pain was it was distracting.

Skylar sat on the couch in the lounge staring at the clock across the room over the fridge. She had come in for some water and somehow ended up here. Breaking down in this room seemed to be a habit now. That was annoying.

She swallowed then winced at the involuntary action. Head pounding, face swollen, throat sore, and for some reason her knee was aching. It must have been hit when she fell. She didn’t remember that part. Skylar watched the second hand make a full circle twice. The lounge door opened, and her eyes slowly dragged from the clock to the figure standing there.

“Can I come in?” Robby asked. She focused back on the clock. Seventy-four ticks before she gave a non-committal shrug. Footsteps crossed the room, slow, and she was surprised when Robby knelt on one knee in front of her rather than sitting beside her. “Rielly?”

“Abbot snitched.” She croaked. Skylar finally met Robby’s heavy gaze. He looked exhausted, and she hated that he was here. He should be sleeping. His shift wouldn’t start for another three and a half hours. The comfort his brown eyes held reminded her of a weighted blanket—like being wrapped up in something warm. “Guess that’s fair.” She shrugged again and coughed. “I think I punched him.”

Robby gave a tight-lipped smile, “You did. He was impressed.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“That’s alright. He needs to get punched from time to time.” He replied. Robby squirmed in place and let out a deep sigh. “Will you please let us take care of you?”

She shook her head but stopped when the movement made her dizzy. “No.”

“Rielly—”

“I said, no.”

Robby hung his head and sighed again. If she didn’t have a worsening headache, she’d find it funny. Skylar reached out and tugged on the top of his left ear. When he lifted his head, another sigh escaping him, her fingers brushed against the scruff along his jaw. “Sorry.”

Robby grasped her hand, still hovering by his face, and shook his head. “Just let me order some tests. Let me get you some medicine. Please?”

Skylar felt her lower lip quiver and pressed them together desperate to not cry in front of Robby again. Mouth dry, she swallowed then winced. At the sight of it, Robby looked like he had been physically hit himself.

“I messed up.” She mumbled. “It was—”

“For fuck’s sake, Rielly.” Robby groaned and squeezed her hand. “I swear to God if you say this was your fault…”

“I let him get between me and the door.”

“That’s not—”

“The first thing I teach any student or intern with me,” she coughed, “is never let any patient block your exit out. It’s simple. We all know it. But I—”

Robby shook his head. The hand he used to hold hers, he brought to the side of his face and twisted his lips. “No. That asshole was going to pull something regardless. Abbot told me he had come in four days straight. Argued with him, Shen, and Thompson, but always backed down when they argued back.”

“He was waiting for a female provider.” She murmured. Not a question. Skylar remembered that part. The excitement in his eyes right before he lunged. “I feel so stupid.”

“Don’t.” Robby said firmly. “In this field, it happens.” Skylar broke eye contact to stare back at the clock. “There’s not a single soul working the Pitt who hasn’t been assaulted in some way. I fucking hate it. It shouldn’t be like this. We make changes, thinking it’ll help, but it never does.” He squeezed her hand again and it drew her attention back. “Skylar, I will give you anything if you let us place some orders. You want weekends off the rest of the year? A raise? I’ll pull stars out of the sky if you just let me order a CT scan and some fluids.” Skylar’s lips turned up into a smile and the chuckle she bit back made her throat ache. “At least let me do a physical exam.”

Skylar scrunched her nose, “You’re the chief of emergency medicine. You shouldn’t be begging.”

Robby let out a tired laugh with a smile, “Rielly, I will stay on my knees until shift change if it means maybe getting permission to take care of you.” Skylar used her free hand to wipe at her face and gave a small nod. Robby blew out a breath of relief and shifted forward. “I’m going to touch your neck, tell me if it hurts or gets to be too much.”

“Okay.” She mumbled.

Robby let go of her hand and reached for her throat. Skylar flinched and he paused, hands hovering in air until she gave another nod. Robby continued until his hands met her skin. Skylar closed her eyes as he palpated. His fingers prodded along her cervical vertebra.

“Any point tenderness?”

“No.” She replied. Robby hummed and pressed behind her ears. Skylar peeked an eye open to stare at him. “Are you checking me for a basilar skull fracture?”

“Maybe.”

“I didn’t hit my head that hard.” Skylar murmured. “Plus, I’m dizzy but I think even I would’ve noticed raccoon eyes in my reflection.”

“You’re dizzy?? For how long? Any nausea? Visual changes or—”

“It’s a concussion, Dr. Robby.”

Robby seemed to settle, and his hands moved to her jawline. He left no spot of skin unchecked. Jaw, cheekbones, the bridge of her nose, her forehead. The only pressure that made her wince was when his thumb pressed at the edge of her eyebrow above her left eye.

“Hurts?”

“A bit tender, yeah.”

“Might be a fracture.”

“Oh, God. Are we gonna argue about fractures again?” She croaked. Robby chuckled. “It’s not fractured. Just bruised.”

Robby stood up and she missed the feel of his hands on her skin. He walked across the room and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. When he returned, Robby uncapped the bottle and held it out. Skylar huffed and tried to take a small sip. It brought relief to her dry mouth but pain on the way down.

“Quick CT, little splash of fluids, some pain meds…” Robby set his hands on his hips.

Skylar tried another sip. “There’s no such thing as a quick anything in the Pitt.”

Robby shrugged. “We could shoot for a record.” Skylar opened her mouth to argue again, but he sat down beside her and pressed his hands together. “Aren’t you tired of hearing me beg? Don’t you just want to put me out of my misery?”

“I don’t want to take up a bed—”

“You won’t.” Robby shook his head. “You can stay right here. We’ll roll in an IV and we’ll roll you to imaging via wheelchair.” Skylar rolled his words around in her tired, throbbing head. This was different than sticking her hand under a portable x-ray. She’d have to be registered as a patient. Skylar tried to look away but was surprised when Robby reached out to cautiously grasp her chin and turn her gaze back to him. “I don’t mean this as a threat, but if you don’t get this CT…” He grimaced and made a ‘tsk’ with his mouth. “…I will literally never have a peaceful night’s rest ever again.”

“That’s not fair.” Skylar refused to smile.

Robby shrugged, his thumb lightly dragging across her chin, “If you can live knowing I will forever be tossing and turning—wondering if I missed a TBI…”

“I do not have a TBI.”

“Wanna prove me wrong?”

Skylar held his stare for a beat more before rolling her eyes, “Jesus, fine—”

The confirmation had barely left her lips when Robby hopped up and rushed for the door. He backpedaled a few steps, pointed at her with a command for her to stay put, then disappeared. Skylar leaned over until she was lying flat on the couch. She closed her eyes and didn’t open them until the sound of a mobile IV stand. Robby dragged it across the room with other supplies tucked under his arm then knelt by her.

“I’m gonna get you set up with a liter of LR. You’re not allergic to any meds are you?” Robby asked. Skylar began to sit up, but he set his hand on her shoulder and lightly motioned for her to stay down. She shook her head on the topic of allergies. “Good. How about a little touch of morphine?”

“That’s so excessive.”

“No. Dilaudid is excessive.” Robby argued.

He repositioned her arm and she grabbed his hand as he pulled on a pair of gloves. She furrowed her brow and found herself annoyed at the flash of pain. Skylar gave him a questionable glare, “You’re gonna place my IV?”

“Yeah, why?” Robby replied. Skylar blinked at him in amusement. He scoffed, “Come on. I’m a doctor.”

“Exactly.” Skylar snorted. “When’s the last time you placed an IV?”

Robby grinned and shook his head, “I’ll have you know it hasn’t been that long.” He pressed his lips together in thought then flinched. “Four months ago?”

“If we’re doing this, I’m requesting someone who can place an IV with their eyes closed.”

“I can close my eyes, if that’s what you want.”

Skylar shook her head and closed her eyes. “You’re pushing your luck.”

Robby chuckled. “Fine. Any specific requests?” She hummed a negative response, and she heard him stand again. “I’ll send whoever isn’t busy in then I’m gonna place an order for the CT.”

“Don’t place it as ‘STAT’, Dr. Robby.” She called after him.

“I’m the attending, not you.”

If he thought about it for too long, anger became his primary emotion. Not one he was fully used to either. This anger was suffocating. The trip from his apartment to the Pitt was like traveling underwater. No matter how fast he tried to move, his heavy limbs still weren’t quick enough. No matter how deep of a breath he took, he was still drowning. The feeling didn’t go away until he laid eyes on Rielly, and even then it had only been replaced by something worse. Gut wrenching fear. Robby pretended to be as calm as possible—something the Pitt had made him very good at—even though the sight of purple bruising in the shape of a hand around her neck made him want to vomit.

The first person he ran into was one of the older night nurses and he directed her to the lounge with a plea. With the IV being set up, Robby hurried to a workstation. His muscle memory was useless as he reached for a badge that wasn’t there.

“Fuck.” He mumbled. It was sitting on his dresser at home.

Robby started to type in his information instead, but Abbot saddled up and pressed ‘escape’ on the keyboard interrupting him. He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Abbot—”

“I’ll put in the orders.”

“I can do it—”

“I’ll be the doctor, you be the emergency contact.”

“You called me here—”

Abbot clapped his hand on Robby’s shoulder. “Not for medical advice.”

“Is he still here?” Robby asked quietly. Abbot was silent and he pulled his hand away from his face to meet his eyes. “Abbot. Is he still here?”

Abbot shook his head. “No. Cops took him already. Me and a few others gave testimony and they left with him.” Robby didn’t have to ask the question. Apparently, his face was telling enough. “Rielly didn’t give testimony. I didn’t think it was a good idea yet. Maybe after she gets some rest.”

Robby stood. “Um, she needs a non-con CT, liter of LR—”

“Brother,” Abbot ducked his head to force Robby to meet his gaze, “Go sit with her. It’s gonna be a minute before they bring her up for imaging.”

He mumbled a thanks and hurried back to the lounge. Rielly was sitting up on the couch again, but she did have an IV in place. She poked at it with a frown. “Hey, don’t pick at that.”

“It’s annoying.” Rielly let her hand fall away. “How do patients stand having these in?” Robby hated hearing her voice—a thought he never had before. There was pain laced in the hushed, hoarse words she spoke. He hated it. “LeAnn said she’d be back with medicine once the morphine order was placed.”

“Good.”

Robby sat down beside her and didn’t hesitate to tuck her hair behind her ear to study the discoloration of her skin again. Rielly hummed, “They’re not gonna go away just ‘cause you stare at them.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe they will.”

“Must have missed that class in med school.”

Robby began to speak but LeAnn returned with a syringe. She offered a soft smile, and he just watched the medicine be injected into her line. LeAnn squeezed Rielly’s hand with a quiet murmur of reassurance, and Robby thanked her on her way out.

He cleared his throat, “Do you…Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Not right now at least.” Rielly mumbled. “I think I just want to lay down again.”

Robby started to rise, to get out of her way, but she surprised him by shifting over and lying down over him. She laid her head against his thigh. Where her hand rested, her fingers mindlessly dragged along the seam of his sweatpants over his calf. Robby stiffened for a second but found himself sinking into the worn cushions.

“Comfortable?” He chuckled.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

He was only a man, an especially weak one this morning, and Robby lazily carded the tips of his fingers through her soft, dark hair. Each slow movement let his knuckles brush against her outer ear. Robby told himself he planned the action to soothe her but found himself calmed.

“That feels nice.” Rielly whispered. “Thank you, Dr. Robby.”

“Why do you do that?” He asked. She hummed. “I said you could call me Robby when we aren’t around patients, but you never do.” Robby forced a chuckle. “Abbot is just Abbot, but I’m Dr. Robby. Why?”

Rielly shrugged, he felt the slight movement against his thigh, “I don’t know. Always seemed safer.”

Robby hadn’t expected that answer. Of all the responses he had made up in his own head, that hadn’t been one.

He paused in his movements. “I’m glad you’re okay. I mean, I know you’re…not okay. You’re hurt. But, I…Today could have ended differently and that thought terrifies me.”

Rielly gave his calf a couple, small pats. “Shouldn’t be scared. I’ve spent too much time and money—collected too much trauma—to not survive residency.” Robby chuckled. “I’m glad I’m coming back to days soon.”

“You and me both.” Robby huffed.

“I’ve missed you.” Rielly suddenly said. His hands stilled in her hair. “Sorry, I know that’s probably inappropriate to say when…” She sighed. “I’ve just missed you a lot, Robby.”

Robby felt his cheeks warm, and he understood with perfect clarity what she meant when she said calling him by his title was safer. This was dangerous. It was wild how just his name, falling from her lips in this dim room as he had his fingers tangled in her hair, was enough to shift his entire world. He wanted to pull her into his arms and act as a barrier from the world and the shit they saw roll through these doors. Ghost his lips across her bruises as a reminder that there was softness and care that still existed—as a promise that he would do anything and everything to never let her forget that.

But he couldn’t do that.

So instead, Robby resumed in combing her hair and murmured, “I’ve missed you too.”

Abbot wrapped up the note he left for last. It looked like Rielly had started the note on the asshole that assaulted her, but he wanted to do an official one so she could just sign off on what she started, and they could call it finished. After, he flipped over to her chart. It had taken time to convince Robby to let him place the orders. But Abbot hadn’t wanted him to come in and be a doctor before shift change—he just needed his friend to convince Rielly to get care.

“Her CT is clear.” He spoke up.

Bridget heaved a sigh of relief, “Thank God. I swear I heard her skull crack against that floor when she dropped.”

“Yeah,” Abbot leaned back in his seat and rubbed at his face, “She’ll still have a nasty concussion.” He spun to face his charge nurse. “Do you know if she lives alone? A roommate or family?”

Bridget shook her head. “I don’t know. Want me to go tell Robby the CT is back? He might know if she has a roommate.”

Abbot nodded and Bridget set aside the tablet in her hand to head to the lounge. He hated shifts like this. They ended with a sense of failure. Today’s more than others. Abbot had seen Mouton’s name on the board, recognized him as the guy who had been coming in day after day, and had just left him. He eventually planned to circle back around to him, after Mouton had waited a few hours, but he didn’t even think about Rielly picking him up. It had just never occurred to him, and it should have.

“Good morning.” A familiar voice chimed. Abbot dragged his hand down his face from where it covered his eyes and found Samira Mohan crossing over to him. “Bad night?”

“You could say that.” He huffed. “What’re you doing here so early?”

“I’m not that early.” Mohan shook her head and looked up at the clock. Abbot turned and realized it was fifteen minutes to shift change. “I’m actually a little late. I wanted to be here at least thirty minutes early to start rounding.”

Abbot chuckled, “God, Mohan. 6:45 instead of 6:30? Didn’t realize you were such a slacker.”

She chuckled and rested her hands on the edge of the counter by her fingers. “What happened overnight? The board seems pretty clean right now.”

He hesitated, running his hand through his hair again, and sighed, “Code white.” Mohan’s eyes widened. Hands falling from the coutner. “It was Rielly’s patient.”

“Oh my God.” Mohan’s face twisted in panic. “Is she alright?”

“Mostly.” Abbot replied.

Bridget hadn’t returned so he rose and motioned for his resident to follow along as he updated her. It wasn’t as if people weren’t going to find out. Word traveled quick in the Pitt, and Gloria would be around after the sun came up to give condolences not solutions.

“That’s terrifying.” Mohan scoffed. “You said she’s in the lounge?”

Bridget was leaving the lounge as they neared. The woman smirked with a shake of her head, “Have they always been so cute?”

“What?” Abbot pressed as she passed.

Bridget waved a hand over her shoulder. “You can wake them.”

Abbot stared after the charge nurse for a beat, but Mohan had already moved toward the lounge door. He followed after and they both stepped into the dimly lit room. Half the room’s lights had been left off and they sat on the darker side on the ratty couch. Robby was sitting, his head tilted back, as he quietly snored. Rielly was also fast asleep, lying on the couch, with her head resting on Robby’s thigh. Rielly still had her IV in and Robby’s hand rested carefully on the side of her head as if he had been combing his fingers through her hair. Abbot sighed with a shake of his head.

“Oh.” Mohan mumbled. “I…I didn’t know Dr. Robby and…”

“They’re not.” Abbot finished her thought.

She smiled and kept her voice a whisper, “Are you sure? Because they look really cozy.”

“I’m sure.” He replied. Abbot’s eyes darted to Mohan for a brief second before he focused on his friend. “Robby’s a little old for her, don’t you think?”

Mohan shook her head. “I don’t think so. Personally. I don’t know Rielly’s opinion on age gaps, but I don’t see a problem.” Regardless of how hard he tried to stare at the two on the couch, his eyes slid back to Mohan. “Besides, in this field, the stress ages you at the speed of light. By time you finish being an intern, you’ve gained at least thirty years or so…”

Abbot chuckled. She wasn’t wrong.

“Did you call in Dr. Robby early?”

“Yeah. She wouldn’t let me take care of her and I figured if anyone could convince her it was him.”

“Good guess.” Mohan chuckled. “I’m glad he was here with her. After what happened…I would’ve been so scared.” Her tight-lipped smile faltered. “Did you know I was supposed to be on this week?”

Abbot’s face fell, “What? I thought she was covering for Mel.”

“She is. Mel asked me first, since I’m the month after Rielly, but I’ve been having issues with my apartment complex.” Mohan shrugged. “Since I couldn’t, Rielly stepped up.”

Abbot crossed his arms and the tiny flicker of judgement he held to his friend for falling asleep like this in the lounge subsided. His mind involuntarily replaced Rielly for Mohan and the anger he already felt was poisoned with fear. Abbot cleared his throat.

“Why don’t you go put your stuff up?” Abbot said. “I gotta wake them.”

Mohan nodded and gave Rielly another glance. He watched her leave and then made his way over to them. Quietly, Abbot reached out and set his hand on Robby’s shoulder. His friend startled awake, head snapping up, but he kept his body still enough that Rielly didn’t budge.

“Hey, CT is back.” Abbot said. Robby rubbed at his eyes, sitting up a bit. “She’s good.”

“I wanna see.” Robby dragged his fingers through Rielly’s hair, pulling it away from her bruised neck, then cautiously cradled her head so he could slip out from under her. “Stay with her while I go look?”

Abbot chuckled, “Don’t trust me?”

“Did you look at the image or just read the report?”

“I read the report.”

Robby nodded. “I wanna look at the image.”

Abbot laughed under his breath as Robby stretched his arms over his head while walking out. All hints pointed to Robby being stuck on the Pitt’s newest resident but seeing it so clearly like this was a different story. He’d never admit it, Abbot knew Robby too well, but even he couldn’t deny the two of them seemed a good match.

Not that resident-attending relationships were ever a good idea.

“Can I go home?” A hoarse whisper asked.

Abbot turned to see Rielly had her eyes cracked open. He squatted down and studied the darkened bruises on her throat without touching her. “Almost. Do you live alone?”

“Yeah. But I’ll be okay.” She replied. Robby probably wouldn’t be impressed with that answer. Abbot opened his mouth, but she beat him to speaking. “Sorry for punching you.”

He chuckled. “Too late for apologies. I already put it on your rotation eval.”

“Damn.” Rielly’s lips twitched up slightly. The morphine was still lingering clearly.

“You know,” Abbot shook his head, “You’re a white cloud, but you have very black cloud attributes when you work shifts you’re not supposed to be on.”

“Think the universe is trying to tell me something?”

“Probably. Doubt you’ll listen.” Abbot replied. She had barely been awake in the first place, but he watched her eyes close. “Hey, kid.” Abbot tapped the couch by her face, cautious not to touch her, and her eyes fluttered open. “Robby’s not going to find anything on your CT. We gotta get you somewhere other than the lounge.”

Rielly mumbled words he didn’t understand before finding coherency. “Call me an uber.”

“You do realize if I called an uber to take you home in this state Robby would literally have a stroke.” Abbot chuckled.

“Stroke alert.” Rielly mumbled. “Call neuro. Is patient tPA eligible?”

Robby’s voice came from behind him, “Why is she diagnosing a stroke?”

“We should have her on morphine more often.” Abbot joked and stood. Robby glared at him and Abbot only laughed under his breath. “What’s the plan here, brother?”

“Well, she’s not working her next couple shifts.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Robby shook his head. “I don’t want her by herself until the morphine is out of her system and she’s feeling more coherent.” He paused. “If I put her in a bed, I can keep an eye on her during my shift.”

“She’ll hate that a lot.”

“I could just call out and keep an eye on her.”

“Where?”

Robby furrowed his brow while rubbing the back of his head, features still shaped by exhaustion, “Is it more weird for me to take her to her apartment and stay there until she’s up or take her to my place and let her sleep this off?”

Abbot crossed his arms with a small shrug. “No, they’re both equally weird. Just in different ways.”

“Great.” Robby huffed. It was silent a short beat. “You take her.”

Abbot’s head snapped to look at him, “Pardon?”

“Your shift is ending anyways. Just keep an eye on her until she’s with it enough to be safe at home.”

“How is me taking her any different from you taking her?”

Robby didn’t respond immediately. His lips were pressed together tightly as he stared at the sleeping woman on the couch. Abbot repeated his name and Robby sighed before meeting his gaze. “It’s just different. Alright?”

Amusement flared in Abbot’s chest, but he kept his features schooled. “How?”

“Jesus, Abbot—”

“No, no. I’ll take her.” He pointed at his friend. “But only if you admit why it’s different.”

“You can’t be fucking serious.”

Abbot held his hands up in surrender and lied, “I’m happy to call her an uber and shove her in, but—”

“It’s different.” Robby blurted. His jaw locked and he ended up rubbing at his face for a few moments before caving. “It’s different because I…I am attracted to her.”

Abbot stared at him for a long moment before his lips cracked into a smirk. He shrugged, “I think attracted is underselling it, but I guess I’ll accept that answer for now.” Robby rolled his eyes with a huff and turned to leave—claiming he was just getting someone to clean up the IV and not running away. Before he could get out the door, Abbot called after, “Hey!” Robby glanced over his shoulder. “If I do this, you’re not gonna be pissy and moody for a month because you’re jealous, right? Because—”

“Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up.”

Chapter Text

"real hauntings have nothing to do with ghosts finally; they have to do with the menace of memory." -Anne Rice

It was going to be a long day for a number of reasons.

Robby rubbed at his temple as he addressed the group, “Alright, listen up.” After sending Mohan home, the only residents he had left were Collins, Langdon, Ellis, and Santos. Luckily, Ellis was a PGY3, but she’d be supervising Santos like she had the last couple weeks which left her hands tied up. “Overnight, we had an incident. A code white.”

“Shit.” Ellis hissed.

“Yeah, it was Rielly’s patient—”

“Is she alright?” Collins asked first but was echoed by the others.

Robby nodded. “She’s…okay. Concussed and some—some bruising. Rielly is gonna be out for her next few shifts, talking and using electronics is gonna be rough—”

“Holy fuck,” Santos interrupted, “Was she strangled?”

Robby held his hands up and locked his jaw. If they made him walk through this he was going to remember that he was furious. “I sent Mohan home a little while ago so she could go to bed. She’s gonna cover the rest of Rielly’s night shifts. There was only three left before they swapped.”

“Who’s gonna cover for Mohan?” Collins asked.

Robby crossed his arms and wondered if he had any other solution available. When nothing came to him, he shook his head. “McKay is on PTO, so I’m not calling anyone else in.” He forced his gaze to meet Langdon’s. “You’re gonna pick up the usual PGY3 load.” Langdon’s eyes widened. “Check out every fifth or sixth patient.”

“I…” Langdon nodded. “Yeah. Absolutely. I won’t let you down.”

“Hmm.” Robby hummed and motioned for them to break off and start picking up patients. He marched to his station and dropped down into the stool with a huff. Badging in, he stared at the screen without moving. It was early. Both Abbot and Rielly were surely asleep. Texting either right now wouldn’t do any good. Despite knowing that, he had to lace his fingers together to keep from grabbing his phone.

 “Is Rielly okay?” Collins appeared by his side.

Robby didn’t look away from the screen. “Best she can be. Abbot took her home to keep an eye on her.”

“Good. That’s good.” She mumbled. Collins started a question, but Robby caught it before it went anywhere.

“Don’t ask me. You can get details from Dana later or literally anyone else.” Robby ran his hands through his hair. “By lunch time the whole hospital will know.”

“Probably. How are you doing?”

Robby scoffed and finally forced his eyes to meet her concerned features. “How am I doing? I wasn’t the one fucking assaulted, Heather—”

“I know,” she held out a calming hand, “but I also know you have a really bad habit of taking more and more onto your shoulders until you collapse under the weight.”

“Rielly getting assaulted isn’t some responsibility I’m carrying around.” Robby replied, more sharp than he intended. Nothing about Rielly could be compared to the stressful responsibilities he had a bad habit of juggling. The negative connotations rubbed him the wrong way.

Collins, proving again that she knew him better than anyone else, shook her head and spoke softly, “No, she’s not. But her getting hurt is the exact kind of event that’ll take your knees out from under you.” He locked his jaw. “I don’t want to watch you get crushed.”

Holding her gaze brought a sense of ease. The familiarity made breathing a bit easier. Not counting Abbot, Collins was the first person he opened up to fully in a very long time. Robby was not the kind of man to take that lightly. He was seeing a therapist now, and it was helping. Not that he’d ever that admit to Abbot. One of the things him and his therapist discussed were connections. During college, medical school, residency, and now, Robby had no trouble getting along with his peers. He was good at finding a spot for himself and fitting in. What he was not good at was planting roots.

Robby wasn’t sure where it stemmed from—they hadn’t dove that deep into his psyche yet—but finding a permanent place in the people around him was not his natural inclination. The thought of it alone was bone chilling. Planting roots made running hard. Robby hated to admit it, but his relationship with Collins was a good example of that. What they had was good—comfortable, easy, and better than even his prior marriage. Robby let himself dig in. Enough so, that when Collins ended it between them, he had no chance at picking up and racing away before the blow hit. Their breakup had destroyed him.

Looking back now, Robby understood. He had more baggage then than he did now which was a feat. They had cleared the air a while ago, and he had nothing but love for his resident—his friend.

All that to say, Robby had no idea what he’d do when she was gone.

“Are you busy after work today?” He asked.

“For you? No.” Collins squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “Find me sooner if you need me.”

Robby gave her a curt nod and pulled on his glasses to focus on the screen. One of the best things about working in the Pitt was he was never short a distraction.

The patient was draped, and she was sterile. Skylar flexed her fingers, testing the stretch of the rubber over them, and studied the exposed neck in front of her. The anatomy was clear. Sternocleidomastoid muscle, clavicle, sternal notch.

“What’s next?” Robby’s voice asked from directly behind her.

“I need the ultrasound probe.”

“No, Rielly.”

Skylar furrowed her brow but her question caught in her throat as she felt Robby step closer. Chest to her back, warmth enveloping her, and a soft breath fanned against the back of her ear as Robby spoke again—closer than before.

“What’s next?”

Robby reached around her, and his warm touch seeped through her as he cupped the side of her face. The pad of his finger traced the edge of her jaw, just under her ear, and he pulled to turn her head. Skylar’s mouth went dry as her eyes locked with his intense stare. Robby’s grasped the top of her mask and dragged it down until his thumb pressed against her lower lip.

“I asked, what comes next?” Robby enunciated each word and every syllable made her heart hiccup in her chest.

“I—I don’t know.”

“You aren’t cut out for this.” Robby said. Suddenly, she was speechless for all the wrong reasons. Her blood ran cold, stomach heavy with dread, and if Robby’s thumb wasn’t there her lower lip would be quivering. She tried to mumble a question, but he didn’t let her. Robby’s lips moved again, but it wasn’t his voice she heard. Instead, it was a voice she wished more than anything she could forget. “I’m only saying this because I care about you, babe. You aren’t cut out for this.”

“Stop, I—”

Robby’s hand fell lower until it wrapped around her throat. Skylar thrashed. She clawed at the grip that only seemed to tighten in response to her struggle. She tried to gasp but as her air dwindled so did her light. Robby threw her back and Skylar collapsed through the drape, through the gurney, and through the floor itself.

Skylar gasped awake. The action filled her throat with fire and her head throbbed. She rubbed at her features—trying to gather her bearings. Weird, haunting dream aside, she recalled the attack. Skylar rubbed at her aching neck and winced at the headache that still existed behind her eyes. She had been in the break room with Robby. There was morphine involved.

Lots of morphine, apparently.

She shifted in place, trying to find comfort, and froze. This was not her bed. Skylar scanned the dark room, only able to make out vague, unfamiliar shapes. Quickly, panicked, she scrambled out of the warm, cotton sheets covering her and nearly toppled to the ground. Skylar had to pause—her head was reeling and for a moment she thought she was going to be sick. When the world steadied, she drifted to the wall to rip open one of the heavy, black out curtains and the sudden spilling of light into the room made her wince.

“Fuck.” She hissed in a hoarse voice—it felt like swallowing glass.

Skylar turned to study the room and it helped to have the sunlight to her back. The walls were a dark green and the furniture was plain wood. A king-sized bed, a dresser, minimal decorations lining the wall, and a ceiling fan on high. This was not her bedroom.

She stumbled to the door and opened it into an open living area—living room and kitchen merging into one another smoothly. The high ceilings made the space look larger. Scanning, her eyes landed on Abbot who slept soundly on the couch with an arm draped over his face.

“Abb—” Skylar began but stopped when the volume had her wincing. It was enough to jar the physician awake. Abbot rubbed at his face and sat up groggily. Half the blanket covering him had spilled to the floor. “Why am I in your house?”

“What?” Abbot furrowed his brow, still trying to shake off sleep.

Skylar padded across the room to stand closer, she was still in her work clothes. Keeping her voice a whisper, she snapped the words out. “Why the hell am I in your house, Abbot??”

“Jesus,” Abbot scoffed, “You’re welcome.”

“I’m being serious—”

“What was I supposed to do after our shift? Leave you on a park bench?” Abbot replied dryly. He spun in place and reached down for his prosthetic leg. Skylar knew he had a BKA, but this was the first she was seeing it removed. Pulling up his sweatpants, he attached his prosthetic with practiced ease. When it was secure, Abbot rose and held a hand out. It hovered by her elbow, a silent question, and she gave a small nod. He grasped her to drag over to the kitchen island where he placed her on a stool. “How do you feel?”

“Like I have a concussion.” Skylar replied.

“You sound like shit.”

“Getting strangled will do that.”

Abbot chuckled and fished out a penlight from a drawer. Skylar eyed it warily and when he flashed it into her eyes she shut them quickly and slapped him away.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“Is that really how you’re gonna address your attending? Your attending who offered you his bed out of the goodness of his heart?”

“Who arm wrestled you into dragging me home with you?”

“Robby.”

Skylar nodded with a snort. Abbot tossed aside his penlight and fetched a bottle of water from his fridge to hand to her. She cracked it open and took cautious sips. When she couldn’t handle anymore, she settled to press the cold surface against the side of her face.

“Where is my bag? My phone?” Skylar asked.

“Why?”

Skylar shot him a skeptical glare. “Because it’s my shit.”

Abbot shook his head and leaned against the counter with a scoff, “You’re cranky post-morphine.” Skylar rolled her eyes, and he grabbed a familiar orange bottle off the counter to set in front of her. “Insubordinate too.”

“What is this?” Skylar picked up the medication bottle and her eyes widened when she recognized her name on the sticker.

“Medicine. Take one.”

“This is Tylenol 3.” Skylar shook her head. “I don’t need that.

“Read the label.” Abbot commanded.

Skylar glanced back down with a sigh, “Acetaminophen with codeine. 300/30 milligrams. One tablet by mouth every six hours as needed.” Abbot motioned for her to continue. “12 tablets distributed, no refills, prescribing physician Dr. Jack Abbot—”

“Say that part again.”

Knowing where this was going, she wilted and resisted the urge to roll her eyes again. “Prescribing physician Dr. Jack Abbot.”

“Right. That means I’m the fucking doctor and you’re the patient.” Abbot replied. “You’re playing the non-compliant part really well, but I need you to shut up and take the medicine.”

Skylar pouted. “You’re annoying outside of an ER. Has anyone ever told you that before?”

“Robby has a time or two.” He shrugged.

Skylar held off on opening the bottle. If she took one now, she’d pass out again. Opioids always wrecked her system—she was sensitive to them. Instead, she wrung her hands together and dragged the nail of her thumb against her skin.

“I can’t believe this happened to me.” She murmured.

“It’s happened to the best of us.”

“No,” she argued, “I was so stupid. I knew better. I let him get between me and the door. I gave him the opportunity to do this.” Abbot narrowed his eyes but said nothing. “Can you imagine if I had a medical student with me? Or a nurse by my side? I could’ve gotten them hurt too—”

“But you didn’t. You were alone.”

“But if it had happened—”

Abbot waved off her words, “Why are you so hell bent on finding some angle to pin the blame on yourself?” Skylar locked her jaw and let her nail press into her skin as a distraction to keep tears from springing up. “My therapist would say you can’t stand the idea of being the victim in any scenario, so you try to paint yourself as the guilty party.” Her already sore throat felt dry. “Because it gives you some semblance of control in an uncontrollable situation.”

“Abbot—”

“But, hey,” Abbot straightened his spine and shrugged, “I’m no therapist myself. All I know is, this wasn’t some opportunity you left open. Mouton came in looking for a fight. What he did had nothing to do with you—he came with an agenda. Bastards like him can’t be reasoned with. They’re angry just to be angry and miserable to their fucking core. Taking revenge on the world for being born.”

Skylar twisted her lips as his words settled on her soul. She realized the logic in his words, understood them, but accepting them was another beast.

She shook her head. “Don’t think you’re so cool. You’re just referencing from the movie Tombstone.”

Abbot’s eyebrows raised. “You know what, for catching that I’ll give you a few bonus points on your eval. You’re sure as hell gonna need them after all the lip I just caught from you.” He reached out and grabbed the bottle to open. Abbot shook a pill out into his palm. “Now—”

“Where do you live?” Skylar asked. She was trying to gauge if she needed to call an uber or if she could walk home. “Is it near the hospital?” Abbot stared at her with a studious gaze. She squirmed uncomfortably. “When I get home, I’ll take the medicine.”

“No.” Abbot sighed. “You’re gonna take it now and get back in bed.”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“Because I said so. Because I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

Skylar scoffed, “Abbot, thank you, but I’m fine.”

“No, you’re bleeding.” He replied. She blinked in confusion until his eyes darted down to her hands resting on the counter. Skylar followed his line of vision and realized she had picked at the skin around her thumb enough to draw blood. She tucked her thumb to her palm and covered her hand. “It’s okay.” Abbot ripped off a piece of paper towel and offered it. Skylar hesitated before taking it and wrapping it around her thumb with applied pressure. Her cheeks burned in shame. “It’s—”

“Please don’t say it’s okay.” Skylar blurted—voice cracking mid-sentence. Her embarrassment worsened tenfold and even with her eyes downcast she could feel Abbot’s pitying gaze burning holes into her soul.

She wasn’t a danger to herself. A part of her wanted to go home and hide away, but it would be a lie to say the presence of someone else wasn’t a comfort. Skylar closed her eyes, trying to ignore her gnawing headache, and if she focused hard enough she could feel Robby’s fingers carding through her hair. The memory was warped, soaked through with morphine, and it was difficult to recollect their words. But, the warmth of his hand. That she could picture with ease.

“Rielly…” Abbot cleared his throat.

Her eyes snapped open, wincing from the return of light, and she frowned. She realized the longer she argued the longer her attending was awake during a timeframe where he usually slept. Skylar chewed on her lip before nodding. “I’ll stay. I’ll take the medicine and stay, but I’m sleeping on the couch.”

“What?”

“It’s stupid for you to sleep on the couch. You’re bigger than me.”

Abbot shrugged. “Fine, but when Robby inevitably bitches at me I’m blaming you.”

Skylar hesitated before her next question, “Can I—Can I use your shower?”

“Course, kid. C’mon.” Abbot motioned for her to follow. “I’ll get you your bag and a towel.”

Robby re-read the text on his phone from Abbot.

‘Rielly woke up. She’s fine, but I’m keeping her here longer. Don’t worry.’

“Don’t worry.” Robby muttered under his breath with a scoff. His friend announces that he’s keeping Rielly under watch longer and he’s not supposed to worry about that. Sure. To make matters worse, Robby texted a reply for further clarification and got no response. He knew it was probably because Abbot fell back asleep, but it didn’t help anything.

He pushed his glasses up to pinch at the bridge of his nose.

“Dr. Robby,” Langdon’s voice called out.

He looked up from his phone to see the resident warily approach. Robby would bite off his own tongue before admitting aloud that Langdon was doing well today. It shouldn’t necessarily surprise him. Robby had no issue with Frank’s medical knowledge, it was literally everything else.

“I just wanted to update you on some patients, if you have a minute.” Langdon cleared his throat. Robby motioned for him to continue, and the resident rolled straight into an abbreviated check out. He listened with the occasional bob of his head to showcase his attention. Meanwhile, his fingers itched for his phone. Abbot would surely answer if he called, they both had a bad habit of listening out for off shift emergency calls, but Abbot would also verbally eviscerate him for calling just to ask for details on Rielly. “And Dr. Robby?”

Robby blinked in surprise when he realized check out had finished. “Hm?”

“Thank you. Again. For this opportunity.” Langdon squirmed where he stood. “It means a lot to me that you trusted me enough to—to let me do this today.” Robby grunted a non-committed acknowledgement. Langdon’s shoulders marginally slumped. If Dana or Collins were around, they’d scold him for his responses, but in his defense this wasn’t a great day for amends. Robby’s head was a million miles away. “How is Dr. Rielly?”

Hearing her name leave his mouth jarred him back into the moment. Robby nodded, “I don’t know.”

“Right.” He nodded. “Well, I…I hope she’s alright.”

Robby wasn’t quite sure how to respond, but luckily Langdon chose that time to shoot him a tight lipped smile and walk away.

Halfway through the suture, Skylar looked up in confusion. The patient room was familiar, but it wasn’t the Pitt. She found the clock on the wall and stared at the ticking second hand trying to untangle her thoughts.

“These need to be removed in ten days.” Skylar said automatically as she looked down at the wound that was now fully sutured as if she hadn't stopped. She set down her tools and grabbed gauze to cover it.

The privacy curtain ripped back as her attending stormed in. Skylar startled, her spine straightening from the tension, and it felt like her heart came up into her throat. She was choking on it. Robby stood in the doorway, angry, and she wilted at the sight.

“Did you discharge the patient in room 213!?” Robby demanded in a voice that wasn’t his.

“I—”

“Did I tell you that you could discharge them? Did I give you explicit permission?” He barked again. Skylar glanced at the patient who stared at her in stunned shock, discomfort palpable, but her attention was snapped back. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

She shook her head, “I’m sorry. During rounds we discussed it and she needed to leave before her kids got out of school so I—”

“Why does that matter? Is this a fucking hotel? She gets to check out at her convenience?”

“No,” Skylar stood, “But her work up and treatment was done. She has follow up with her PCP tomorrow and—”

“I am not asking for your excuses.” He snapped. “I am asking for your obedience. There is a hierarchy and I told you I want every order run through me from now on.” Skylar remembered the shame and embarrassment that drowned her in this moment but seeing that anger on Robby’s features made it all the worse.

“I—I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat, thick with tears.

“Get the hell out here.” Robby roughly grabbed the curtain and held it open to point out in the hall. Skylar murmured an awkward apology to the patient and hurried out. When she cleared the doorway, a hand wrapped around her throat and shoved her roughly into the wall. Breath knocked from her, she scrambled and clawed at the hand crushing her windpipe.

Skylar startled awake.

It took her a second to recognize her setting. Abbot’s couch. She took a steadying breath as she tried to relax against the cushions—staring at the ceiling of Abbot’s apartment. Skylar didn’t think anything could get worse than being attacked, concussed, and strangled, but this was worse. This was much worse. She spent so much time burying those memories in a sealed box at the back of her mind, and this episode had seemingly shook them all loose.

To wreak havoc on her fragile state.

“Fuck.” Skylar mumbled under her breath and rested an arm over her face to block the light from her eyes. Abbot’s living room didn’t have black out curtains like his bedroom did.

Back in the dark, hiding behind her eyelids, the memories returned. All it took was flash of blue eyes and she forced herself to sit up. Awake with a headache was better than resting and reliving. Skylar grabbed the water bottle Abbot left her off the coffee table and crossed her legs to lounge on the couch.

She was counting the individual panels of the wood floor as a distraction when she heard the faint vibrations of her phone. Skylar leaned across the couch where her backpack was resting and fished out her phone. There was a full wall of notifications waiting for her. Scanning them, Skylar was realizing basically everyone from the Pitt had sent her a text checking in.  Her lips quirked up at the outward show of love and care. She answered a few, acknowledging and returning the love, but had to stop when her head throbbed at the strain of reading.

That was going to be a fucking problem.

Skylar rubbed at her face and heaved an annoyed sigh.

She had tossed aside the phone, but it only sat untouched for a few seconds before she grabbed it again. This time, she opened her photo app and began to scroll toward the top. There was one photo in particular she was looking for. Skylar blew past it on accident and had to scroll back to click it open. In the image, she sat in a chair at a dining room table smiling brightly at the camera. Her hair was messily braided back and skin tinted pink where the sun had kissed her on the beach that morning. Behind her, standing with his hands on the back of her chair, was Steven Lafferty. Not Steve, only Steven. He was adamant about that. His dirty blond hair, short, was as messy as well and his tan skin matched the slightly burnt state she was in. He also grinned at the camera—the look mischievous and charming.

The beginning of the end.

Skylar met Steven when he was a senior resident, and she was fourth year medical student. She came to his hospital for her inpatient rotations. Steven had been great. A good doctor, a good teacher, and a good friend. It hadn’t taken them long to turn into something more. Skylar had deleted every photo of him, any evidence of his existence, when she left her last residency. But not this one. This photo she kept. They had been celebrating her matching into the residency and him being hired as an attending. Them and a few other residents had rented out a house on the beach. Skylar remembered thinking it was the start of the rest of her life. She had been so excited with her life and the direction it was going in.

The Skylar in the picture had no idea how quickly that was going to change.

It was stupid of her to keep this photo. It had slipped through her cleansing of her phone and when she noticed it, she couldn’t bring herself to delete it. Skylar didn’t miss that timeframe. She was glad to be away from that place—away from him. She couldn’t get rid of the photo though because in some pathetic way it was her proof.

Skylar spent so long pretending everything was fine. She had done such a good job at convincing herself that Steven’s behavior was normal or excused by stress that she made herself feel like the villain. The nagging girlfriend who didn’t understand, who goaded him into having to snap at her. When she finally opened her eyes to the situation, she could hardly believe how delusional she had been.

She kept the photo because she needed proof this had happened—to keep her from ever falling into a situation like that again.

Staring at it, Steven’s blue eyes were boring into her. Her skin crawled and all the memories her concussion had stirred up danced in her head. Skylar’s phone suddenly vibrated in her hand as a new text came in.

‘Dr. Michael Robinavich (Attending)’

Skylar chuckled at his contact name. That’s how she had put it in when they first met months ago. She clicked the notification.

‘Hope you’re feeling okay. Abbot said you’re staying at his place. Text me if you need anything. Take your medicine.’

An actual laugh bubbled out of her at his demand for her to take the medicine. Skylar had a feeling Abbot hadn’t needed to tell him she argued about the medicine. He probably figured it out himself. She read over the words another three times before typing out a response.

‘Shouldn’t you be saving lives?’

She didn’t have to wait long for the response.

‘Shouldn’t you be sleeping?’

‘I just woke up. Gonna try to go back to sleep soon.’

‘Feeling okay?’

‘My head hurts and my throat burns and I’m trapped in Abbot’s apartment, but otherwise I’m alright.’

‘Well I’m glad you’re being held hostage. Means I can work without worrying about you.’

Skylar felt her cheeks warm and she fell to the side to lie down as she typed.

‘Doesn’t seem like you’re working much right now texting me.’

‘I’m chief attending. You think I can’t multitask?’

‘No comment.’

‘Have you eaten yet today?’

‘Do you want me to sleep or to eat? I can’t do both.’

‘Good to know the injury hasn’t touched your charm.’

She chuckled under her breath and closed her eyes when the words began to swim in her vision. It wasn’t long before she was asleep again.

Chapter Text

"unprocessed trauma does not just disappear, it is stored in your body."

As always, Abbot’s alarm rang too soon. He blinked awake and didn’t linger in hangover of not enough sleep. A habit born from his military days. Even before his stint in the Army, he had been punctual and efficient. Working as a combat medic only amplified that. After shutting off his alarm, he rolled his shoulders and neck then moved to attach his prosthetic. He didn’t go through his usual morning routine. Instead, he stepped out into his living room first to check in on Rielly. The young woman was curled in a ball—a position he couldn’t fathom as comfortable—and was sound asleep. Content with her state, he moved on to get ready for work.

Abbot wasn’t surprised to see Rielly so shaken. The trauma she went through would rattle anyone. What had caught him off guard was the level of fear he saw. She hadn’t looked like a victim post-assault; she looked like one in the midst of it. Her attacker had been caught and taken away. There was no risk of return. Yet, Rielly carried the weight of someone haunted.

He wondered if Robby knew any more than he did—hell, he wondered if Robby knew how close she was to shattering.

Abbot was in the process of pulling his shirt on when he heard the shrill sound of a phone alarm. He grunted in annoyance and stepped out of his bedroom to see Rielly stirring. It was her phone loudly going off on the coffee table. He tried to hurry, to turn it off, but Rielly blinked her eyes open blearily and reached out to shut it off herself.

“You set an alarm?” Abbot questioned. He knelt by the couch—wincing as his knee dug into the wood floors.

Rielly hummed, “Course. It’s 6. Shift is starting.”

“You’re not working tonight.”

“I know.” She snorted and rubbed at her features. “I meant, your shift. I gotta go home.”

“You can stay.” He argued.

“That’s weird.”

“Only if you make it weird.” Abbot countered. Her eyes peeked open to glare at him. A look that was far from threatening. He huffed. “It hasn’t even been 24 hours since you got assaulted.” She seemed to flinch at his words. “Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’ll take another pill, you’ll crawl into bed, and you’ll sleep. No complaints.”

Rielly sniffled, “Not even a couple complaints?”

“None.”

“So fucking bossy.” She murmured under her breath. Rielly sat up slowly, wincing at the movement, and he grabbed the pill bottle to pop it open. Setting one in her hand, he picked up her water bottle from the ground to give to her as well. Rielly threw back the pill and took a second to drink a few gulps of water. “You’re not my attending anymore since I’m off night shift. Can’t order me around like this.”

Abbot set his hand on the couch and coffee table to stand. He grunted as his knees popped. Rielly snickered, and he shot her a glare she didn’t even see since her eyes were closed again. Abbot carefully grasped her shoulder to help her rise as well. “I might be bossy, but you’re fucking annoying. You know that?”

“Says the person holding me hostage.”

He led her back to his bedroom and helped her get settled into his bed. Rielly didn’t hesitate to bury herself under the blankets and nuzzle her head into the pillow—trying to get comfortable. She was probably going to feel worse before she felt better. Abbot had a feeling that was the only reason she hadn’t fought him too hard on this.

“Hey, don’t drool on my pillow.” Abbot said.

“Go flirt with Mohan, old man.” Rielly mumbled.

Abbot nearly fell over as he whipped back around to stare at her, “What did you just say?” The young woman was already passed out again. He scoffed and moved to leave. “Little shit.”

Thirty minutes later, Abbot was walking into the Pitt. Things seemed the usual amount of hectic. A trauma must have been winding down because the room was a disaster zone and staff were slowly slipping out. He made his way toward the nurse’s station where Dana was checking out to Bridget. They noticed his approach and their conversation stopped abruptly.

“How’s Rielly?” Dana asked. Bridget echoing the worry.

“Sleeping. She’s at my place.”

Bridget furrowed her brow, “Your place?”

“Yeah, never felt safe enough to send her back to her place alone.”

“She’s alone now.”

Abbot scoffed, “Not for long.” The women shot him a questioning look. “I’m sorry, have you met Michael Robinavitch?”

They conceded the point—the point which only become more obvious when Robby stepped out of Central 11 and caught sight of him. Dana and Bridget went back to check out as Robby made a beeline in his direction.

“She okay?” Robby demanded.

“Good morning to you too.” Abbot replied despite it being nearly 7 PM.

“Abbot—”

“She’s fine. Sleeping.” Abbot crossed his arms. “Hey, how much do you know about her?” Robby shook his head in confusion. He elaborated. “Like before she got here. Her last residency?”

Robby blew out a breath, “Context clues have taught me it was run by fucking assholes. I don’t know much more than that though. Why?”

“I don’t know.” Abbot thought aloud. “Just getting a funny feeling.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I don’t know.” He repeated himself. Abbot had a high suspicion that this assault had stirred up something. It was a lot of things finally colliding. Getting the upper hand on the human trafficker, the very solid and accurate hit she landed on him while high on adrenaline, and that look in her eye as she sat at his counter digging into the skin around her thumb until she bled. “To be honest, I’m worried this isn’t the first time she’s been through this.”

Worry flooded Robby’s features.

Abbot sighed, “Look, I don’t know for sure. I’m just…guessing.”

Robby held out a hand and without the request being voiced Abbot automatically went digging for his keys. “I was supposed to go out with Collins after our shift.” He raised an eyebrow to his friend while unhooking his apartment key from the ring. Robby shook his head. “Nothing like that. She took a job in Portland.”

“No shit?”

“I wanted to talk to her about it.” Robby murmured. As soon as the key was pressed to his palm, Robby tucked it into his scrub pocket. “I’ll talk to her about re-scheduling for later this week.”

Abbot hummed, “No. Go. I got Rielly to take some more meds before I left. She’ll be out a couple hours at the least.”

“What if she wakes up early and tries to leave on her own?”

“She won’t.” Abbot chuckled. “I didn’t leave her a key so she won’t be able to lock up behind her, and Rielly’s too careful to leave my apartment abandoned and unlocked.” He spotted Mohan in the distance stepping out of the lounge with a cup of coffee while texting on her phone. Fresh faced and ready for the shift. Abbot would call her glowing, but that would only feed into Rielly’s last comment and like hell he was gonna allow the universe that satisfaction—even mentally. “Come on. Check out to me so you can get going.”

Robby motioned for him to go with him to their shared station.

There was a bar down the road from the Pitt the staff had frequented over the years. It was usually where they’d celebrate easy shifts or other events. Bad shifts ended in the park with a cooler and cheap cans of whatever they had on hand. Robby and Collins agreed on it today for the ease, but it seemed fitting. This was technically where their first unofficial date had been.

“So, you’re gonna go stay over at Abbot’s?” Collins asked as they took their usual seats—a high top table near the bar.

“Yeah. I was gonna bring some food over too. Abbot said she hasn’t eaten anything today.”

“It’s hard to have an appetite when you’re passed out from pain meds.”

Robby shook his head, “I’m just hoping she isn’t too nauseous when she is up.” He furrowed his brow with a quiet curse. “I should’ve grabbed some Zofran from the lounge. Think Abbot has some on hand?”

Collins shot him a dry look, “Dr. Jack Abbot? With his handy dandy little go bag? I guarantee the man has Zofran stashed somewhere in his apartment with God knows what else.” Robby laughed in agreement. “You know, it’s nice to see you like this.”

“See me like what?” Robby asked.

“Are you really gonna make me say it?” Collins smirked.

Robby rubbed at his jawline and shook his head. “It’s not like that.”

“You can lie to yourself, but you know you can’t lie to me.” Collins said. “Based on your degree of denial, I’m assuming nothing’s happened yet.”

“You say ‘yet’ like it’s inevitable.” Robby looked away to wave over a waitress. Collins just shrugged in response. Robby chuckled. Maybe that was the right word. He couldn’t speak for Rielly’s thoughts or feelings, but looking back he wondered if he ever stood a chance at not falling for her. Even from the beginning, Skylar Rielly had captured his full attention. Robby used to pretend it was just curiosity—an attending innocently wondering about their newest resident’s background—but he understood now. From the second she smiled and introduced herself, his fall had been inevitable. 

“Enough on that, we came here to talk about your new job.”

“Maybe you did. I came to interrogate you about Rielly.”

Robby scoffed, “Come on. Seriously. Why didn’t you talk to me about this? You could’ve at least given me the chance to try and convince you to stay.”

“Maybe that’s why I didn’t.” Collins crossed her arms and leaned on the table. She wore a casual but bright smile. “I hate saying no to you.”

“Why’re you so sure you’d say no? I’ve been told that I can make a decent argument.”

“That’s not what people say. They say you can annoy anyone to your side through snark and big, brown puppy dog eyes.”

Robby pointed at her. “Only Abbot uses the word ‘annoy’.” The waitress finally saddled up to the table and Robby sat up from where he leaned against the table to order. “Yeah, I’ll take an Old Fashioned and she’ll have a Mint Julep—”

“Actually,” Collins cut in, “Can I just get a ginger tea? With a little lemon?”

Robby stared at her in confusion while the waitress left to get their drink orders in. Mint Julep was her favorite drink here—in fact, this was the only place in the city where she’d get a Mint Julep because they’d use a local honey to make it with. Collins met his gaze with a small smile and it only took a few more beats before it clicked.

“Really?” Robby’s eyes widened. Collins’ small smile broadened, and she gave a nod. “How far along are you??”

She cleared her throat, clearly getting choked up, then answered, “14 weeks. I made it to the second trimester.”

“Jesus, that’s—” Robby let out a laugh, “Heather, that’s fantastic. Congrats.”

“They always say it’ll happen when you stop trying but I never actually believed that.” She shrugged. “Guess the universe was looking to prove me wrong. Do you remember a few months back when that guy came by to bring me coffee and nobody would shut up about it?”

Robby nodded, “Yeah. Him? I didn’t even know the two of you were dating. Shit, what was his name? Daniel?”

“Darren.” She corrected. “And we really weren’t. What we had was very casual until,” she pressed a hand against her abdomen, “it wasn’t.”

“So, Portland then?”

“Having my family around will make things easier for when I go back to work after my maternity leave. Plus, Darren’s an accountant and his firm has a branch out there.” Collins said. “Call it kismet.”

The waitress brought by their drinks, and they thanked her.

Robby took a sip of his drink before nodding to her, “You’re going to be an incredible mom, Heather. I’m so happy for you.”

“Even though I’m abandoning the Pitt?”

“Even so.” Robby chuckled. “Does Dana know?”

“Of course Dana knows.” Collins laughed. “She technically knew before I did. She’s the one who suggested I take a pregnancy test.” She tilted her head. “She doesn’t know about Portland yet though. You’re the first person I told. I’m actually not sure how I’m gonna break the news to her.”

Robby grinned, “So you’re saying I know something before Dana?” That was a first. He scrunched his nose with a wince. “I did tell Abbot by the way. Sorry.”

“I expected no less.” Collins said. “You old men and your gossip.”

“Funny.” He replied dryly.

They continued to talk a bit more about Portland before falling into a casual conversation about some of their more unruly patients of the day. Their glasses were dry but Robby had ordered food to-go and they were waiting for it to be finished. Listening to Collins talk about one of her crazier patients, the moment felt bittersweet. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Heather Collins. Robby wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was excited for her. She was stepping into a new era of her life, and it looked good on her.

That being said, Robby was going to miss her like hell.

The bench she sat on was shaking. It came from the medical student sitting to Skylar’s left. The young woman, Aubrey, looked like she was seconds away for making a break for the door. She was bouncing her leg rapidly as she wrung her hands in her lap. Skylar reached over and set a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey,” She murmured, “It’s gonna be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” Aubrey argued. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have—”

“No. It is not your fault.” She said firmly. The hallway they sat in was empty as they waited for the residency’s mental health advisor to open her office to them. They had arrived early for their meeting. “If anyone gets the blame here, it’s…it’s me.” Skylar locked her jaw as guilt choked her up. “I knew. I knew what he was like—how he treated me. I should have gone to HR about Steven a long time ago, but I just thought…”

Skylar thought it’d be a waste of time.

Intern year was historically supposed to be the worst year of your life. That’s it’s reputation, and it had held up. Work had been so hectic and overwhelming. Between struggling with her newfound responsibility as a doctor to having attendings yell at her in the halls when she couldn’t answer their questions right, the academic side of the year had been a nightmare. Steven cheating on her midway through the year had only made it worse. Skylar was embarrassed to even think back on it. He cheated on her with a co-resident, apologized, and she just took him back. The thought of a breakup while the rest of her life spiraled out of control just seemed too much to bear. 

Things got worse, she ignored it, and second year rolled in. It had actually been better. Skylar felt more on top of her life. Maybe that was why when Steven cheated again she had the confidence, the stability, to end things with him.

So, she did.

And everything went so wrong.

It was only after they broke up that Skylar realized why Steven ever even showed her attention in the first place. It was power. He was starving for it. As a resident he lorded it over medical students and now as an attending he had a whole new population to reign over. Steven got drunk off the power imbalance and when Skylar tried to take the power back by breaking up with him, he decided to ruin her life. Halfway through second year, she found herself stripped of any respect. Skylar’s new status in Steven’s eyes, and any resident or other attending loyal to him, was well below medical student.

But, she put up with it. Because she didn’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing her break or cave—because realistically she knew fighting would be an uphill battle.

Then she met Aubrey. The young medical student had been rotating with them for her inpatient experience, and the day she walked in on Aubrey crying in a supply closet, she knew it was her fault. Skylar never even tried to stop Steven’s reign and someone else paid that price. Aubrey said he never touched her. However, when they were alone, which ended up being more often than necessary, he’d talk about his sex life, make inappropriate comments and jokes to her, and it came to a head when he tried to talk her into coming home with him one night after a shift. When she denied him, he turned to verbal abuse and belittlement.

That’s why they were now sitting in the hall waiting to talk to the advisor. After making the problem known with Dr. Tolbert, the psychologist who oversaw their mental health in the residency, they’d go to HR with her.

Skylar wasn’t going to let this happen anymore.

“It’s not your fault either.” Aubrey said softly.

The office door opened and Dr. Tolbert stepped out. Her short blonde hair was curled and pinned back. A bright smile decorated her petite features. “Hi. Sorry about that wait. Aubrey do you want to step in first?”

Aubrey shot her a fearful look and Skylar responded by squeezing the girl’s shoulder. As the medical student disappeared into the office, she sunk in her seat and closed her eyes. She wished this would be the end of it all, but realistically she knew it wasn’t. They could get Steven in trouble, hopefully on probation or fired, but he was a popular guy. This would be a tough battle and he had plenty of allies that would continue to make her life miserable down the line.

Still, she was done doing nothing.

Skylar wasn’t going to let any other woman be prey to that bastard.

The door suddenly opened and Skylar sat up in shock at how quickly the meeting went. Aubrey rushed out without a word or spared glance. She jumped up to follow, but Dr. Tolbert called out to her.

“Dr. Rielly,” She said, “A word?”

Skylar hesitated then stormed into the woman’s office. “What happened with Aubrey? Is she okay?”

“She’s upset. I think the conversation may have been too much for her.” Dr. Tolbert motioned for Skylar to take a seat in the chair in front of her desk. “I assume you’re here to discuss a similar topic?”

Skylar steeled her nerves. “Yes ma’am. Dr. Lafferty has been behaving inappropriately.”

Dr. Tolbert tried to cut in, but Skylar wouldn’t let her. She dove headfirst into her story, bringing up all evidence she had collected. It was a practiced speech. One she had been working on for quite some time. When she finished, Dr. Tolbert nodded solemnly.

“I see.” She hummed. “This is a very serious matter. I do not take these kinds of accusations lightly.” Skylar locked her jaw at the phrasing. “We can move forward and set a meeting with HR, but I will warn you that you will be taking this battle on alone and—”

“Wait what?”

“—HR will be aware that you and Dr. Lafferty were involved in a romantic relationship that he recently ended.”

Skylar shook her head, “I ended our relationship. Not him. And—And Aubrey is—”

“I cannot divulge my conversation with Aubrey, it’s a breach of her privacy, but I will say she has agreed to sit down with Dr. Lafferty to discuss this miscommunication privately rather than bring HR into this mess.” Dr. Tolbert rose from her seat and came around the desk to sit beside Skylar. The older woman set a hand on her arm and Skylar resisted the urge to rip it away. “Skylar, I want you to think this through. Can’t this be settled privately? I can have Dr. Lafferty come in and I’ll sit down with you both and we can discuss this.”

“This is beyond a discussion among peers.” Skylar scoffed. “I am making a formal complaint.”

Dr. Tolbert shook her head, “Sweetheart, are you sure you want to do that? You can be ruining this young man’s career.”

Skylar felt nauseous. She could taste bile at the back of her throat and her face felt hot as tears pricked at her waterline, but she swallowed it all down. She would not cry in front of this woman, she would not be sick, she would fight. Skylar pulled her arm away from her touch and nodded.

“I am filing a formal complaint against Dr. Lafferty.”

She rose from her seat, ignoring whatever Dr. Tolbert was saying, and rushed out of the office. However, when she stepped out she wasn’t in the hallway. She was standing in a supply closet. Skylar’s heart seized in her chest as she recognized this moment. This didn’t make sense. This wasn’t supposed to happen now—not after her first meeting. This was three months later after a number of useless meetings that drained her of energy and faith in medicine.

Skylar turned around to see Steven standing in the doorway. His arms were crossed, his figure was towering, but his aura was smug. He chuckled and crossed the room—stalked across it—to stand in front of her. Too close. It sucked all the air from her.

“Are you satisfied with yourself?”

“Get out of my way—”

“All that work, all those meetings, for what?” Steven asked. “What have you accomplished?”

Nothing. Skylar didn’t have the strength to voice it. She supposed that wasn’t entirely true. HR put the complaint in his file and gave him a warning. In this world though, that meant nothing. It was a slap on the wrist with no system in place to keep it from happening again.

“You had plenty to say in those meetings, but now you’re speechless?”

“Please get out of my—”

Steven leaned in and raised his hand. She sucked in a sharp breath as his warm hand wrapped around her throat. The soft was touch. There was no grip to it. His thumb caressed the side of her neck where it touched, and he just rested it there. Despite there being no pressure behind the touch, Skylar felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“It really hurt my feelings that you would make those complaints against me, Skylar.” He whispered the words, and they washed over her skin like knives. Leaving wounds she wouldn’t be able to see, but would always be able to feel. “But, despite all this, I want you to know that I forgive you, and I’m gonna teach you.” Steven leaned forward until his forehead pressed to hers. “On your own, you might not be much, but with my training I’m gonna make you a half decent doctor.” He tapped his thumb against the side of her throat, and she flinched. “It’s just tough love, Skylar. I wish you’d understand that. Could’ve saved us so much trouble.”

Skylar didn’t startle awake.

She blinked and it was Abbot’s ceiling she was staring at.

Somehow that was worse.

Skylar could feel his hand still on her neck. Despite taking deep breaths, none of the air she sucked in was bringing any kind of relief. Skylar sat up and clasped at her own throat—trying to rub away the ghost hand that lingered there. It was heavy on her skin, but the weight was nothing compared to the failures she was reminded of. She ran. She had left. Steven had won because she let the fear of him chase her out of Texas.

A shaky sob broke through and was followed by gasps as her body fought for air it already had. Skylar jumped as warm hands carefully wrapped around her wrists. She hadn’t heard the bedroom door open, didn’t notice the light that spilled into the darkness from the living room, and didn’t recognize Robby until his comforting voice filled the space around her.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay. You’re safe.” Robby had pulled her hands away from her throat and now his palm rested against the side of her face. “C’mon. Take a deep breath for me, sweetheart.” Skylar took a slow breath and this time the air brought relief. “Good girl. That’s it. Again.”

She followed his instructions until she no longer felt like she was suffocating.

“It’s my fault.” Skylar cried. Because she could breathe, the sobs came easier. “It’s all my—I should’ve done more. I should’ve fought more.”

Robby shushed her softly and pulled her into his arms. Her face fell into the crook of his shoulder, and she cried until the balance corrected itself and her physical pain outweighed everything else. Her head was throbbing, the dehydration not helping her concussion. To Robby’s credit, he just held her. Skylar took too much comfort from his touch to move. Her forehead was pressed to the side of his neck, one of his arms was wrapped around her—hand on her back—while the other rested so he could cup the back of her head. The embrace felt safe which was a welcome change from the memory she had woken from.

In the silence of Abbot’s room, Robby hummed, “Here’s a really stupid fucking question.” Skylar’s lips twitched up, knowing what was coming next. “You okay?”

“Probably not.” She chuckled exhausted. “My head really fucking hurts right now.”

“I bet. We need to get some water and food in you.”

“Why do I only picture Abbot having MREs in his apartment?”

Robby laughed quietly and she felt the rumble from his chest. “Lucky for you, I brought real food with me. Want to guess what I got?”

“If you say a burger, you’ll be my favorite person in the world.”

“Good news then.” Robby replied. “What kind of perks do I get with this favorite person thing?”

“Bragging rights.”

Robby began to detangle them, and Skylar let him. In the dim light, she could only make out some of his features from being so close to him. The light was to his back so unfortunately her swollen and tear-streaked features were probably all too clear. Robby cupped her face and used his thumbs to wipe away some lingering tears that hadn’t been absorbed by his shirt.

“Before we get up,” Robby spoke softly, as if an increase in volume would shatter her. “What happened was not your fault. There was nothing you could do. And you did fight. You did the best you could. Abbot’s got a bruise to prove it.”

Skylar appreciated his comfort, but it didn’t apply here.

Robby didn’t know.

She offered him a smile, “I hope you brought your own burger, because I’m not sharing.”

Robby helped her climb out of bed and Skylar worked on burying her skeletons.

Mohan wasn’t a huge fan of night shift. Solely because she didn’t like sleeping during daylight hours. She never felt fully rested. It was a necessary evil though, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the staff. Night shift had a casual air about them. She also really liked working with Dr. Abbot. His background from combat medicine made his tactics so interesting and he seemed to trust her to do things she wouldn’t even trust herself with.

It wasn’t to say she didn’t like working with Dr. Robby.

It was just…different.

Mohan left a nurse with orders to for her last patient to be discharged and scanned the tracking board for her next. Nobody here seemed to complain about her pace either. She moved to Central 10 and stepped in. 54-year-old male here with sudden chest pain. No cardiac history and his EKG on arrival was clean.

“How long have you been on the—” Mohan stopped when she noticed the patient staring at something over her shoulder. She glanced behind her to see Abbot standing outside Central 10. “Excuse me.” She gave the man a smile and poked her head out. “Hey, do you need me?”

Abbot shook his head. “No.”

“Okay.”

A beat of silence. She held his intense gaze before slipping back into the room and continuing. When she finished with the patient, Abbot wasn’t around when she went to place orders. Shrugging it off, she moved on. Two patients later it happened again. Mohan ignored him and continued. On the fifth incident, she started to feel insulted.

“Am I in trouble?” The patient, a 23-year-old male with a hand broke in a drunk squabble asked.

“What do you mean?”

He nodded behind her, “That guy is glaring at me.”

Mohan whipped around to see Abbot leaning against the nurses’ station watching. He didn’t even have the decency to pretend like he was doing something else when caught. Giving the patient a half-hearted wave, she hurried across the Pitt to her attending. He pushed off the nurses’ station but looked nonplussed.

“Did I do something wrong, Dr. Abbot?” Mohan demanded.

“No.”

“Then why are you overseeing all my patients so closely?” She asked. Without giving him time to answer, she pressed on. “I am a third year, going on fourth year in a few months, and I feel confident in my skills. I know I move a bit on the slower side—”

“Your pace is fine.”

Mohan huffed, “Then why are you supervising me like this? Do you not trust me?”

“Mohan, I trust you. You’re the smartest resident we got.” Abbot replied with a sigh. She blinked in shock, cheeks warming at his blatant compliment. “I’m just…being cautious.”

“About what?” Mohan furrowed her brow. For the first time since this conversation started, Abbot looked sheepish. He crossed his arms and wouldn’t meet her eyes—instead choosing to stare at the nearby tracking board. Unusual for him considering Mohan had gotten used to his intense gaze. It clicked. Her eyes widened. “This is about Rielly. The code white.”

Abbot clenched his jaw and finally looked back to her. Mohan didn’t often see him worry. Even with traumas that could take her out at the knees, Abbot was always calm and collected. He blew out a breath and let his hands fall to his hips.

“It wasn’t my intention to make you feel uncomfortable.” He said.

“Right.” Mohan thought aloud. “No, it’s… it’s okay. I get it.” She took in a steadying breath then nodded. “However, this is unnecessary. I hate what happened. I hate that it happened to Skylar. But, we cannot change how we practice medicine because of this. All we can do is just continue what we were trained to do.”

Abbot’s lips curled into a small smile. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“No need for apologies.” Mohan offered him a smile of her own. “Let’s just get to work, Dr. Abbot.”

“You got it, boss.” Abbot teased.

  The back of her neck grew warm as she watched Abbot wander away. Mohan tubbed the skin there—eyebrows furrowed at the nervous energy that bubbled up in her chest. She watched him for a second more, gaze lingering on his shoulders and the confidence in his gait, then rushed back to the patient she had excused herself from.

They settled on the floor rather than the dining table. The only light came from the kitchen. It left the living room in a dim glow which was easier on her eyes. Robby and her sat between the couch and the coffee table. Skylar ate another fry then leaned her head against the couch to stare at Robby as he talked about his day.

“Langdon did…fine.” Robby conceded.

Her lips twitched up in amusement, “That sounded like it hurt to say. Do you want a Tylenol-3?” Skylar pointed to her bottle of medicine on the table, and Robby lightly shoved her hand back down with a breathy laugh. “How has it been working with him again?”

“Fine.” Robby shrugged.

“No,” Skylar pressed, “How are you really?”

He took in a deep breath and shrugged. “I-I don’t know. Things have been civil but tense. The tension is probably more my fault.” Robby grabbed his drink. “Dana and Collins keep telling me I need to talk to him, but… Every time I see him, I think back on that day.”

“Pittfest.” Skylar murmured.

“Yeah.” Robby sighed. “It’s not even just the shit with Langdon, I end up thinking about—about it all and….” With the way he was sitting, his arm rested on the couch cushion as he leaned back. Skylar reached out and let her hand settle on his forearm. Robby glanced at the contact then his eyes lifted to meet hers once more. “It’s just not a day I like reliving.”

Skylar nodded. “I’m sure.”

There was a beat before Robby cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?” She didn’t respond but held his gaze curiously. Taking it as the permission it was, he continued. “The way you woke up…I’m assuming it was the attack.”

Skylar shot him a sad smile. “Where’s the question, Robby?”

“I—I don’t know.” He admitted with a tired chuckle. “I guess, it’s ‘are you okay?’ but that doesn’t really cover it all, and ‘are you going to be okay?’ just doesn’t feel right.”

The words fell short, and Skylar understood that frustration. There was no string of letters that could fully articulate the concern and fear drawn across Robby’s features. She pulled her legs up so she could rest her cheek against her knees as she held his gaze. Skylar wasn’t sure why his attention brought her such comfort. But, it did. The warmth of his brown eyes was something steady she could rely on—cling to.

“Can I ask you something instead?”

Robby’s lips twitched in amusement, he teased, “You technically didn’t answer my poorly phrased question.”

“It has to do with it, if that helps.” She chuckled. Robby nodded and now it was her turn to try and find the words. The truth was, she knew the words she wanted to ask, but she was desperate to find some different way to ask it. As expected, there was no other way.

Skylar took a shaky breath and whispered her question as steadily as she could manage.

“Am I cut out for this?”

Robby didn’t react at first. He stayed frozen for a beat as if the words heard didn’t quite click into place. Skylar knew the second he understood her question because she watched his face fall. He bounced between emotions that she could recognize on him. Confusion, frustration, shock, but it finally landed back on worried.

“What brought this on?” Robby replied. “What would ever make you think you weren’t?” Skylar didn’t trust her voice not to crack and was thankful the dim lights hid her unshed tears. She gave a weak shrug. Robby squirmed in his seat, freezing in place, then quickly shifted over so there was no space between them. “I need you to listen to me, Rielly. Really listen.” Skylar had turned her head, chin on her knees, to stare at her feet as Robby’s heavy arm settled around her. “You are more than cut out for this. You were born for this. It’s a gift and a curse, but you belong in an ED—on the front lines caring for patients on the worst day of their life. And I am honored that I get to see you in action.”

The reassurance felt like a breath of air. Not a calming one, not one meant to soothe or settle, but a gasping, choking breath that brought her back to life. As if her head had been underwater, and she finally managed to break through the surface.

Robby kept one arm around her, the other resting on her shin, and she leaned into him like he was the buoy keeping her from sinking under again. He didn’t let go. Robby let her soak in his comfort quietly as she re-learned to breathe.

Chapter Text

"You're not dead

but you're not alive either.

You're just a ghost

with a beating heart."

Skylar nodded as Mohan ran through her list, but she paused with a wince when an ache formed behind her eyes. A week had gone by, and she was feeling better. Mostly. Her voice had improved and her the marks on her neck had faded. The only thing that lingered was her concussion. Staring at a screen too long or too many sudden movements would make it feel like someone was burying their fingers into her white matter and squeezing.

She supposed the headaches weren’t the only thing that lingered.

Steven did.

Skylar worked so hard to bury Texas away. A conscious effort of filing away every singular memory from that time frame into a neat and organized system. The code white had shaken more than just her nerves—it had shuffled those memories back to the forefront of her mind where she was forced to think on it.

“Rielly?”

Her eyes snapped up from the list she was making to see Mohan staring at her in concern. The poor woman looked exhausted, the night hadn’t been easy, and Skylar offered her a tight-lipped smile.

Mohan furrowed her brow, “Are you alright?”

“Fine.” Skylar forced a chuckle. “My head still hurts a bit. Probably need to take some ibuprofen before the shift starts.”

“Well, make sure you take it with food.”

“Yes, Dr. Mohan.” Skylar hummed teasingly. Mohan breathed out a quiet laugh and then picked up her bag from the floor. She glanced around, as if looking for someone, and Skylar reached out to squeeze her arm. “Go on and head out. You need some sleep.”

“Yeah, I was going to let Abbot know I was leaving.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Skylar waved her hand. “I’ll let him know.”

Mohan hesitated. A blank look on her features that Skylar didn’t get a good read on before it was replaced with a smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you in 12 hours, huh?”

“Too long for me, too short for you.”

“Here’s what I’m thinking.” Robby sighed out the words. He was sitting slumped on the couch with his head resting back to stare at the ceiling as his hands remained buried in his hoodie pockets. “There’s a history there. Abbot picked up on it first—son of a bitch never misses anything—and I really noticed it that night with her. The assault in the Pitt would’ve been traumatic for anyone, but she was shaken beyond that. Rielly was scared. Like that fucking asshole was still breathing down her neck. Plus, she said something that I initially attributed to the assault but it—it’s been rolling in my head for the last week… Rielly said it was her fault. She should’ve done more. She should’ve fought more. That felt—I don’t know. What I do know is that Rielly is too smart, too logical, to hold guilt over that attack in the ED. It was a blind hate crime. That means she was talking about whatever else is haunting her and I have to assume it goes back to her previous residency. How could it not?”

Robby sat in silence for another beat before lifting his head to glare at the woman sitting across the coffee table from him.

“Do you have any thoughts on this?”

Miranda, an older woman with snow white hair and green eyes that missed nothing, sat in her chair tapping the pen in her hand against the pad resting against her crossed legs. She shook her head, “I think… I’m your therapist, not hers.”

“Yeah, but you tell me to talk about what’s on my mind,” Robby snorted, “This is it.”

“Can we talk about why this is so heavy on your mind—why she’s so prevalent?”

“No. Tell me what I’m missing here.”

Miranda capped her pen with a huff. “I don’t know Skylar Rielly beyond what you talk about. If you’re missing something, how would I catch it?”

“Use your psychology powers of deduction, Miranda.”   

“My deductions are telling me you’re looking for an echo chamber.” Miranda replied. “You know the answer. You want to hear someone voice something you already know.” Robby sat up in his seat with a furrowed brow. “Your…friend,” she stressed the word, and Robby resisted the urge to scoff, “clearly had something drug up from the attack. Perhaps it triggered something she had been fighting to forget. Our minds try to protect us in any way it can, but sometimes the coping mechanisms that form involuntarily over time aren’t healthy. We go through trauma, we collect a wound, and our minds will try to stem the bleeding however it can. But, wounds we ignore don’t heal—they fester and rot.”

Robby would never forget the fear in Rielly’s eyes when she woke from her nightmare, or the heartbreak drawn across her features as she asked him the stupidest question that had ever left her lips. Was she cut out for this? If the tension in the air hadn’t been so thick, if her pain hadn’t been so palpable, Robby would’ve laughed. Rielly was a natural in the ED. Enough so that he struggled to picture her as a Family Medicine physician.

“You and Rielly have that in common.” Miranda suddenly spoke up again.

Robby shook his head, “What?”

“We’ve been meeting for months now, but we only dance around the inciting incident that brought you here to me.” Miranda continued. “Your wound is infected, Robby. We can’t keep ignoring it.”

He locked his jaw and let his gaze focus on the potted plant sitting on the bookshelf behind her. During his time with Miranda, he had become hyper aware of the damned thing. It was where his eyes tended to drift when he was avoiding one of her questions. He was still warring with himself trying to figure out if it were real or not. Robby refused to ask her. That seemed too much like losing.

“We can start wherever you’d like. Perhaps at the beginning? When your shift started.”

Robby didn’t consider the start of that shift to be the beginning. Beginning of the end, maybe. His breakdown had been a long time coming and he recognized that now. Hindsight and all that. It started with losing Adamson and it was why he couldn’t quite bring himself to broach the topic. This wasn’t a simple wound. It was a tunneling wound with loculations too deep to even comprehend. Miranda said they could take this one step at a time, but it was all so intricately twined together that even that first step would be his undoing.

Like seeing a house of cards and thinking you could carefully take it apart one card at a time.

“Robby—”

“No.” Robby cleared his throat and tore his eyes away from the plant and to her. “Not today.”

Miranda gave him a small, reassuring smile. “That’s okay. It was only a suggestion.”

“Patient reports her dyspnea has worsened over the last week, period. She has been using her rescue inhaler multiple times a day with little to no relief, period.” Skylar kept her eyes closed as she dictated her note into the dragon. All things considered, she was doing well, but staring at any computer for longer than a few minutes made her head pound. That was the beauty of dictation though. “Patient was given nebulizer treatment in ED and did show improvement, period. More than likely will need pulmonary work up, but this can be completed in outpatient setting, period. Follow up with PCP within the week, but referral will be placed today, period.”

“You sound exhausted, period.”

Skylar peeked her eyes open to glance up at McKay who settled by her desk. The redhead’s hands were wrapped around the stethoscope hanging around her neck. Skylar set down the dragon down and reached for her coffee.

“You kidding?” She took a long sip—cringing at the hot drink she had to settle with. “I am the picture of well rested.”

“Maybe in comparison to Shen.” McKay grinned and cast her eyes across the room.

Shen was today’s attending, he was filling in for Robby, and he was miserable about it. The man was clearly not a fan of day shift. It almost comical the comparison of him bouncing around at 1 AM, third dunkin drink in hand, with him grumpily stalking through the Pitt at 4PM.

McKay started a sentence, but it was cut off with a nurse calling for a doctor a few rooms away. Skylar tried to stand, but McKay ushered her down and jogged away. Rather than turning back to the note she was struggling through, Skylar stared at Shen. As much as he may have hated being here, she was glad he was. It meant avoiding Robby.

Not that she wanted to avoid Robby.

In reality, it was the opposite. Skylar realized she probably liked being around her attending a little too much. Ever since the night in Abbot’s apartment, he stayed on her mind. If she wasn’t reeling over a haunting memory of Steven, she was reliving a pleasant one of Robby. A dizzying mix of nightmares and daydreams.

Shen’s gaze suddenly snapped to meet hers. The young attending furrowed his brow and tilted his head. Her cheeks burned at being caught staring and she gave a weak wave then spun to hide her face in her computer. She rapidly murmured into her dragon until she was spared from her messy thoughts by Santos.

“Hey,” the intern drummed her fists against the counter in front of Skylar, “I’m having issues with the patient in North Five.”

Skylar scrunched her face and dragged herself through the concussion fog, “Uh, that’s the ten year old male with appendicitis? He was stable, surgery is supposed to come down—”

“They did come down.” Santos nodded. “And mom refused treatment.”

“Why?” Skylar badged out of the computer.

“For instagram.”

Skylar froze in place, “What?”

Santos only nodded twice in response. Skylar blew out an aggravated sigh and tugged her stethoscope around her neck to follow after the intern. In the room, the boy was lying curled up on the gurney his face drawn in discomfort. His mother on the other hand, stood at his bedside taking a video on her phone.

“Ms. Kir—” Skylar began.

“Oh!” She did a double take then lowered her phone. “Perfect. Can you give me the diagnosis again? The video I took didn’t record the sound for some reason.”

Skylar blinked in confusion. Surely, this was her concussion causing her to mishear. She glanced to Santos who shrugged with an annoyed twist of her lips. Skylar looked back to the mother, “I’m sorry. What?”

“Xayden’s diagnosis.” Ms. Kirn repeated. “I lost the video from earlier—”

Skylar waved a hand. “I was told you refused treatment.”

“Oh my God, no!” She scoffed. The mother briefly glared at Santos. “I just said I need to postpone it for a bit. I’m getting B-roll for—”

“B-roll?” Skylar blurted.

“I’m an influencer. You can find me at mamakirn—”

“Shut the fuck up.” Skylar laughed. The room rippled in shock. Ms. Kirn’s jaw dropping in disbelief and Santos stepping closer in either support or confusion. It was only after the mother started yelling that Skylar realized she had spoken out loud. As Santos tried to placate the irate influencer, Skylar slipped back out the door with a hand over her mouth.

Langdon was the resident to hurry around the corner with wide eyes. He glanced from Skylar to the door and back. “I heard yelling.”

“Um, yeah, can you—can you help Santos?” Skylar stepped out of his way. “The influencer mom wants to delay surgery to make a video, and I…I misspoke.”

Langdon seemed only further confused, but he nodded and slipped into the room.

Skylar rushed to across the busy ED to reach her locker. She rustled through her belongings to fish out a bottle of Tylenol. Everyone said she came back too soon. As a physician she agreed with them. As a lost woman with a broken head, she knew they were wholeheartedly wrong. If Skylar didn’t keep busy she was going to come apart at the seams.

She may be doing that anyways.

Robby stared at his phone. His thumbs hovered over the screen after having deleted his third attempted message. This was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. At his age, the last thing he should be doing is agonizing over a text like this. Robby typed two words only to backspace them and immediately set his phone face down on the table. Even if Rielly wasn’t busy with work he shouldn’t be texting her outside of work hours. Not even to check in and see how she was doing.

Although, as the attending on tomorrow, it would make sense to touch base with his resident and make sure she felt well enough to come in. It was his responsibility. Robby picked up his phone.

“Robby?”

The sound of Jake’s voice had him dropping his phone back to the table. Less casual than he’d hope. Maybe he’d take it as a sign from the universe to leave it alone.

Jake came through the door of the sandwich shop with his book bag still slung over one shoulder. Robby greeted the boy back as he settled across from him at the table.

“Hey, man. How’s school going?”

“It’s alright. Had a math test this morning.” Jake hummed.

“It go, okay?”

“I think so, yeah.”

Robby’s relationship with Jake was far from perfect, but they had come a long way since Pittfest. Their meet ups for lunch or weekend basketball games had resumed though not nearly as often as they used to. Robby didn’t mind though. Work kept him busy and he’d take what he could get.

“I ordered you your usual.” Robby rubbed the back of his neck.

Jake nodded. “Thanks. How, uh, how’s work?”

The small talk continued up until they got their meal and throughout.

Robby nearly finished with his whole sandwich when Jake cleared his throat and nodded toward his phone. “Do you have to get back to work?”

“Today? No. I have the day off. Why?”

“You keep glancing at your phone like you’re waiting for a call.”

Robby hadn’t even noticed he was he was doing that until Jake called him out on it. He flipped his phone over and made a show of separating himself from it. He shook his head. “No. Not waiting on any calls.” Jake furrowed his brow. “I…I do have a friend I’m worried about. That’s it though.”

Jake’s skepticism turned to an arched eyebrow, “Like…a girlfriend?”

“What?” Robby laughed. The back of his neck and the tips of his ears burned, but he ignored it. “No. Nothing—Nothing like that.”

Robby wasn’t even sure this he wanted to talk about Reilly with Jake. Not that—Not that she was the first person to come to mind when Jake asked his question but—Robby huffed. The word ‘girlfriend’ alone made his anxiety crawl out of his veins and flood his lungs. Jake seemed so much better, but Leah’s death had been staggering from all sides. Robby was still haunted by his failure.

“It’s cool if you do.” Jake interrupted his spiraling thoughts. “Mom’s dating someone. You should be happy too.”

Robby knew that already. Him and Janey kept in touch. Robby dragged his fingers through the scruff along his jaw and let a small smile creep onto his features.

Mohan stormed into the Pitt a frazzled mess. Her hands were still shaking and griping the straps of her book bag was not helping. She kept her head down, mumbling quick greetings, and made a beeline to the lockers. For nearly a month now, she had been fighting her apartment complex over every issue under the sun. The arguments with the landlord reached a pinnacle this afternoon with an eviction. Mohan hadn’t even managed to get decent rest since her last shift—she spent most of the day loading her belongings into her car.

Luckily, she didn’t own much. Her tiny, pathetic apartment didn’t have room for much and she had used the furniture they provided. A temporary situation while she was in residency. It wasn’t as if she spent a lot of time at home anyways. Mohan only needed a place to sleep, eat, and shower. That had turned into a blessing while moving out.

She opened her locker and hung her head into the space with her eyes closed.

“Mohan?” Rielly's voice startled her enough that Mohan nearly hit her head against the locker’s hinge. She ripped her head back with wide eyes to find her co-resident staring at her in concern. “You okay?”

Mohan nodded and shoved her bag into the locker. “I’m great. Everything is great. Why would you ask that?”

“Because you look like you’re trying to crawl into your locker.” Rielly hummed. “And your shift hasn’t even started yet.”

Mohan swallowed, anxiety crawling up her throat, and shook her head. “No. No, I am fine. More than fine. Excited for my shift.”

“If you’re gonna lie, I recommend picking an easier lie to sell.”

“I just—” Mohan glanced down and focused on straightening her scrubs. “Life stressors, you know?”

Rielly snorted. “Don’t I?” She crossed the hall and leaned her back against the lockers—hands held in her hoodie pocket. “We’re at the prime of our life, Mohan.”

Mohan’s lips quirked up. She touched Rielly's elbow. “Are you okay? How is your head?”

“Hurts. As expected.” Rielly sighed. “Nothing a good night’s rest won’t cure.”

“When’s the last time you had a good night’s rest?” Mohan asked. She had high suspicions that her friend was still struggling with all that had occurred. Though she wasn’t around in the day to see it, she heard through the grapevine that Rielly was a ghost of herself these days.

“I’ll answer you, if you answer me.” Rielly offered. “What’s going on?”

Mohan crossed her arms with a heavy sigh. “Do you remember when I mentioned I’m having trouble with my apartment?” Rielly nodded. “I was evicted.” Rielly pushed off the lockers with wide, alarmed eyes. Mohan rushed to soften the blow. “It’s fine. It was a long time coming and honestly for the best—”

“What are you gonna do? Where are you staying?”

“My car for now.” Mohan shrugged. “Then I might find a hotel until—”

“Oh my God, no.” Rielly's outburst startled her. “Stay with me.”

Mohan’s eyes widened and she waved her hands in front of her, panicked, “No, no. I wasn’t saying this to make you think I needed anything.” Guilt at being a burden immediately slammed into her. “Really, I am fine, and I can figure this out—”

“Mohan, seriously. I have the space.” Rielly offered a smile. “It’s not a lot of space, and you’d have to be okay sharing a bathroom with me, but my apartment is a two bedroom. I was going to use one as an office but never got around to buying furniture for it.” She paused then nodded. “Which means we’d also have to go out and buy you a bed and some furniture, but it’s not a big deal.”

An inkling of hope bloomed in her chest, but she smothered it down. Mohan set a hand on Rielly's shoulder. “I really don’t want to trouble you.”

“I wouldn’t offer if I’d be a trouble.” Rielly chuckled. “It might even be fun to have a roommate. If Santos and Whitaker can manage it without killing one another, I think we’ll be fine.”

Mohan’s shoulders slumped as relief slammed into her. She threw her arms around Rielly in a tight hug as her co-resident laughed again and returned it happily.

“You’re a lifesaver, Rielly. Literally the best.” Mohan pulled back.

Rielly shook her head. “Don’t say that yet. You haven’t seen the check out I’m about to leave you with.”

Chapter Text

"so tell me,

how long

will I continue

being dead

before I die?

Because this breathing

feels more like bleeding."

Abbot struggled to keep his eyes on his note. The dragon was held up to his face, but he hadn’t dictated a word in the past fifteen minutes.

‘75yo M presenting with abdominal pain and nausea for the last three days.’

Her dark hair was falling out of a messy ponytail leaving stray waves framing her face.

‘History of A.Fib, HFrEF, HTN, and T2DM all well controlled and established with outpatient specialists.’

There was a wrinkle between her brows as she stared at the COW’s screen with rapt focus. He always found her intensity captivating.

‘CT showed no abnormalities. Labs wnl. Vitals stable.’

She tapped her fingers against the flat surface. He noticed she always tapped in the same pattern. Ring, pinky, ring, middle, ring, thumb, index, thumb. Abbot meant to ask her about it, but something about the mystery of it held him back. As if he could puzzle it out himself if he stared long enough.

“Dr. Abbot.” A nurse startled him and he lowered the dragon to turn to her. “Can we discharge North Three?”

Abbot scanned the tablet held out to him and nodded while signing the discharge orders. When the nurse left, he glanced across the Pitt back to where Mohan still stood. He wasn’t a fan of mysteries. Abbot liked knowing. Surely from his mixed background as a physician and a solider. When questions arose, he found answers. Easy.

Mohan’s presence posed a question he was struggling to answer.

That wasn’t true.

Abbot had an answer. It was the acceptance of said answer he was grappling with now.

Mohan finished her orders, the frustration on her features smoothing, and after badging out she scanned the room and found him. Abbot didn’t flinch or turn his gaze away. She held it for a beat and her lips quirked up into a small smile. She started toward him and only paused to answer the charge nurse’s question. Abbot continued to study her. She was dressed more casual tonight. Black scrub bottoms with only a form fitting, long sleeved shirt. Badge on her vest, stethoscope around her neck.

Finishing with Lena, Mohan continued her path to him, and Abbot straightened in his seat. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Need anything?” Mohan grabbed the stool at the station beside him.

‘You.’ His mind offered as a response. Abbot would blame the sleep deprivation. It was a random impulsive thought that he definitely shouldn’t place any more focus into.

“Nothing at the moment.” He cleared his throat. “How goes the furniture shopping?”

“Good. Do you want to see the set I bought?”

A week ago she shared with him that her and Rielly were now roommates. The latter had offered the former a spare room. Now, Abbot followed along as she got settled. Mohan had been warring over one set over the other for most of the shift. She leaned toward him, phone outstretched.

Abbot chuckled, “So you went with the dark set like I said?”

“No.” Mohan pointed at the screen. “You said I should get the black set, this is dark brown.”

“Same thing.”

“It’s two different colors!” She shoved at his shoulder.

“You wanted that ash wood shit.” Abbot leaned an elbow on the desktop at an angle that put him arguably too close to her. “I swayed you to the dark side.”

Mohan’s lips curled up and she bit back her laugh. “You’re not nearly as clever as you think you are.”

“But you do think I’m clever.” Abbot hummed. Not a question.

“I think,” Mohan tucked her phone back into the side pocket of her scrubs, “whatever I have to think to get a good eval from you.”

Abbot gave a small shake of his head. “Ah, I’m just proud you’re not sleeping on a frameless mattress like a frat boy anymore.” A laugh left her. He reveled in it before clearing his throat. “How has it been?” Mohan raised an eyebrow. “Living with Rielly. Is it going alright?”

“Oh, yeah.” She nodded immediately. “We’ve always gotten along well. I’m just so thankful she offered me her spare room.”

“Good, good. And she’s, uh, you know…”

Luckily, Mohan seemed to pick up on his question without further prodding. “I think she’s doing okay. She seems to have healed mostly. Honestly…I am a little worried she’s still struggling with the aftermath.”

“How so?” Abbot furrowed his brow. Mohan hesitated, and he understood the respect for privacy. “Never mind. I’m sure Kiara will be touching base.”

“She did.” Mohan nodded with no further elaboration. Not that he needed anything further. It was written all over her face. Any work related incident required a certain number of formal therapy sessions. It wouldn’t surprise Abbot if Rielly did the bare minimum and tapped out.

He cleared his throat and changed the topic. “When’s your furniture gonna be delivered?”

“It’s a local place so they said they can deliver tomorrow, but they don’t have anyone to build it for me so I’ll have to do that.” She glanced down at her phone screen.

“Do you and Rielly have the tools for that?”

Mohan shrugged. “The boxes will come with something, won’t they?”

Abbot’s lips curled up, “You’re going to build your entire bedroom set with an allen wrench?”

The blank, panicked look that formed on Mohan’s face brought a laugh out of him. She set a hand on the side of her face, eyes widened, “Will that not work?” Abbot laughed again with a shake of his head. Her brow furrowed with a huff. “Fuck. Why wouldn’t they put the right tools in the box?”

“It’s technically the right tool, but you’ll have crippling carpel tunnel before you’re anywhere close to finishing.” Abbot said. “I can swing by and help.”

The offer fell from his lips before he even registered it. The back of his neck tightened with tension. Shit. He was such a fucking idiot.

Mohan blinked in surprise, “Wait, really? You don’t mind?”

“No.” Abbot cupped the back of his neck. “I can bring my tools. It’s no big deal.”

“Okay. Yeah, thanks.” Her face split into a broad smile that Abbot would compare to the sunrise If it wouldn't make him a pathetic sap. “I can text you my address.”

Someone called for her and Mohan stood. She thanked him again, hand squeezing his shoulder as she passed, and Abbot felt all his tension melt away. He turned on his stool to face the computer and focusing was no easier.

Skylar was running slow. Behind on seeing patients, behind on charting, behind, behind, behind. With every new patient through the doors, she got buried deeper. Standing at the COW, clicking at her orders, she nodded along as Santos went over one of her patients.

“Is that okay?”

It took a beat to realize it was a question. Skylar glanced over, “Huh?”

“North Five. Can I consult ortho?” Santos asked.

“Um.” Skylar furrowed her brow. North Five. North Five. 67 year old female, hip fracture. She nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.”

Santos hesitated. Skylar could feel the intern’s gaze, but before anything was said Perlah hurried over with a handful of EKGs. “Dr. Rielly, I have the print out for your patient in Central Eleven.”

“Great, thank you.” Skylar took the paper and set it on her computer to be reviewed and signed. She paused and glanced at Santos who still stood by the COW. “Do you have another patient to check out?”

Santos shook her head. “No. You good?” Skylar raised an eyebrow. “You seem kind of…”

Rather than use a descriptive word, she waved a hand in front of Skylar’s face with scrunched features. Skylar chuckled and knocked her hand away. “Whatever that means, I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep great last night.”

“How about the nights before?”

Skylar nodded to the side. “Go take care of your patients.”

“Alright.” Santos dragged the word out and wandered away with her hands in her pockets.

Skylar finished clicking in her orders and badged out. She grabbed the sharpie in her scrub top pocket and focused on the EKG. She zoned into the lines and made the extra effort to triple check each one for ST elevations. She was tired, but she wasn’t going to miss a STEMI because of it. Satisfied that the EKG was normal, she signed it and made her way to Central Nine.

“How are you feeling Mrs. Benton?” Dr. Reilly asked the older woman sitting up on the bed.

She was rubbing at her chest. “My chest still feels tight, dear.”

Skylar glanced down at the EKG one more time and shook her head. “Well, the good news is your EKG is normal.” She tucked it into the plastic folder drilled to the wall where strips would be kept until discharge. Skylar stepped over to the bed. “We’re waiting for your labs, but this is reassuring.”

She took off her stethoscope to listen to the patient. Clear in all fields. Skylar glanced to the vitals. Her sats were dipping, but the patient did have a history of COPD. Her O2 sat would be a bit low at baseline.

“You sound okay.” Skylar wrapped her stethoscope back around her neck. “Let me get you some medicine that might help with the pain, and I’ll swing back by after your labs come back. It shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“Thank you.” Mrs. Benton smiled.

Skylar hurried out of the room back to the COW she had been using. It was still parked and untouched. She badged in and ordered a PPI for Mrs. Benton. Severe acid reflux could be causing the pain.

“There’s a trauma coming in.”

Skylar looked up as Langdon came around her. He nodded toward the back of the ED. “Robby was asking for you. You’re up to bat.” She muttered a string of Korean curses under her breath. Langdon tilted his head. “Everything okay?”

“Can we swap in the rotation? I still haven’t laid eyes on all the ones I just picked up.”

“Yeah, sure.” Langdon nodded. He clapped a hand on her shoulder. “Hang in there. An hour and a half left.”

Skylar mumbled a thanks. She’d be here a lot longer than that just wrapping up on her notes. Then she’d get home, toss and turn, and wake up in time to do all this over again. A sigh left her as she touched base on a few of her other patients, scanning for new labs, and then made it to the abdominal pain in Central Eleven.

“Hey there, Mr. Singh?” She nabbed some hand sanitizer off the wall. The middle aged man nodded. He was hunched over the bed holding his abdomen. “Great. My name is Dr. Rielly. I’m the emergency medicine resident today. Can you tell me when these symptoms began?”

Mr. Singh walked through the history of his symptoms and answered every question she poised. Skylar moved onto her physical exam, but in the middle of palpating his stomach she heard the code alarm for Central Nine. She barely managed an excuse to the patient in front of her before barreling out the door.

Arriving into the room, a couple nurses including Perlah had beat her there.

Skylar jumped into action. Her movements and orders were instinctual. She relied on muscle memory. Luckily, it only took two rounds and they achieved ROSC. Skylar stared at the normal rhythm on the screen and walked back her steps.

“Trops came back positive.” Collins voice startled her. The upper resident walked toward the bed with an EKG in hand. She shook her head. “This is wrong.”

“No. I signed off.” Skylar shook her head. “I triple checked. There’s no ST elevations, T wave—”

“It’s the wrong patient.”

“What?”

“It’s the wrong patient, Dr. Rielly.”

Collins held out the EKG and Skylar snatched it from her. It was a normal EKG, but looking at the corner she saw the name of the patient in Central Eleven. Mr. Singh. Fuck. Oh, fuck. Skylar looked up in time to see a nurse print off a new EKG and hand it over. Collins scanned it and sighed, “S1Q3T3.” Skylar’s eyes widened and when Collins held it she grabbed this one. “Perlah! I need a heparin drip in here now!”

A large S wave in lead I, a Q wave in lead III and an inverted T wave in lead III. Positive troponin. Low O2 sats. Pulmonary embolism. Skylar had missed a fucking PE.

“Collins—”

“I have this covered. I think you should step out.” Collins stepped closer and kept her words under her breath. “Wait in the break room. We can talk there after I get the patient set up with a drip.”

The EKG crinkled in Skylar’s hands as she stumbled out of Central Nine in a daze. All the noise of the Pitt was muffled background noise—like she was stuck underwater. Even her limbs felt heavy. Skylar found a seat at the break room table and buried her face into her hands. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She had scolded Santos in this very room on the nature of medicine—how it was inevitable that they’d lose patients from human error. The sting of experiencing it firsthand was different though. This wasn’t the first time she had made a mistake, this wouldn’t be the last time. The bit that really got to her, the blade that burrowed into her chest carving through skin and self worth, was the fact that this mistake was so intricately tied to Steven. Her exhaustion from dealing with his ghost made her careless and now it was his venomous voice hissing insults in her ear.

Insults that felt very true right now.

The break room door opened, and Skylar dragged her hands down her face to look up at Collins. But, it wasn’t Collins. It was Robby. Suddenly, everything was ten times worse. Skylar didn’t understand how she could feel so muted while also hyper focused all at the same time. Robby spoke her name, the sound muffled, but her skin prickled uncomfortably. As if it didn’t fit right over her skin anymore. Skylar kept her elbows on the table and buried her fingers at the back of her head just to give them something to do. Her eyes fell to the table and they burned with unshed tears.

“We need to talk.” Robby took the seat beside her.

The walls were closing in. Even without looking up, she could feel their heavy weight pressing down on her. Skylar welcomed the thought of being buried alive right now. It would be better than this.

“Collins caught me up with what happened to the patient in Central Nine.” Robby said. He was collected. He didn’t raise his voice or snap. There was a weariness to his tone though, a heaviness that bared down on her just like the walls, and that felt worse. Maybe it’d be better if he just yelled. Anger would sting less than disappointment. “We’ve been keeping an eye on all your patients this week.”

They didn’t trust her. Skylar craved to find acknowledgment of the fact, but her throat was thick and there was a lump she couldn’t swallow down.

“It’s been little things. Fluids and a diuretic on the same patient. Imaging on others who could go without. Dosage or timing errors on meds. Nothing inherently dangerous until…”

Until today. Until the patient in Central Nine. The patient she nearly killed out of sheer recklessness.

‘Are you a fucking idiot?’ Steven’s voice hissed.

“We’re concerned, Rielly. This isn’t like you.” Robby murmured.

‘Useless. Do you get that? You’re useless to everyone around you, including the fucking patients.’

“As your attending, I can’t ignore this. And I can’t ignore that this seems tied to the code white.”

‘Instead of putting patients at risk, how about you just die yourself? That’d save more lives than your actual medical career.’

“Rielly.”

A warm hand wrapped around her forearm and it broke the last fragment of sanity she had left. Skylar ripped away from the hold and jumped up from her seat. The chair clattered back to the floor and she could only manage a glance at Robby. Shock. Wide brown eyes filled with concern. Yeah, she’d be concerned to if she had a fucked up resident screwing up in her ED.

“I need—” Skylar struggled for a breath. The lights were too bright, and the air too thin. Even with the room spinning around her, she stumbled away from the table. “Excuse me.”

Air. Her lungs were burning and begging for oxygen. Every breath she took did nothing but make the need more pronounced. The Pitt was a blur of color as she sprinted out of the closest doors. It was instinct that drove her up the stairs, and her feet didn’t slow until she burst out onto the roof with a gasp.

Skylar stumbled to the a metal railing that protected people from coming too close to the side. She ducked under it, but her hands gripped to the metal—not allowing her any closer to the edge. Her lower back pressed against the bar and the firmness was grounding. She sucked in a deep breath and reveled in the lack of walls. She had been up here once before while on night float. Lena had sent her up to find Abbot after a rough code had gone wrong. It hadn’t been so bad. He had just needed a minute, and it even ended with him jokingly telling her she was never allowed up here.

Oops.

The sun had dipped below the horizon enough to knock away some of the heat. Her mind was settling, but her white knuckle grip on the bar didn’t lessen. Skylar focused on the sound of traffic as a distraction. Honking, revving, and distant sirens had never been so soothing.

The rooftop door opened and shut behind her. Skylar knew who it was, and she wondered if she could make it to and over the roof before he reached her.

“Didn’t know you knew about this spot.” Robby’s voice was close. Too close for her to get away. “I’m guessing Abbot?”

Skylar could breathe again, but she had yet to find her voice. She hummed an acknowledgement. Robby sighed and settled to her left. She shuddered when the side of his hand brushed against hers. It was innocent. He was leaning forward on the safety bar. Skylar refused to look his way. They stood in silence and Robby’s patience beat out her own.

She took a slow breath and readjusted her hold on the bar. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—I shouldn’t have rushed out of the room like that.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. You were trying to have a discuss—” Skylar had to stop and swallow. “It wasn’t professional of me. And I—I—It wasn’t—”

“Rielly.” Robby’s voice was too soft. She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw as the last means of defense against a pathetic sob. “Will you look at me?” Skylar shook her head. Robby sighed. “Rielly, it’s okay—”

“No.” Skylar snapped. “It’s not. It’s not okay. I fucked up and a patient nearly died because of it. I fucked up.”

“You did, but the patient didn’t die. She’s stable.” Robby cleared his throat. “You’re not.”

The shock at hearing the statement, simple and blunt, was what finally had her looking at him. It was a mistake. His sad brown eyes was a sucker punch that knocked the air she struggled so hard to grasp right out of her lungs again. He offered a small smile, “There you are.”

“Please don’t.” Skylar whispered. She wasn’t even sure what she was pleading for.

Robby shook his head. “I’m not here as your attending right now.”

Somehow, that was worse. Skylar looked back out onto the horizon and tried to ignore the weight of Robby’s stare. There was a long beat before he shifted just an inch closer.

“You can’t keep this up, Rielly.” He sighed. “I am actively watching you burn out in front of me and you’re getting closer and closer to a crash.” Where his hand pressed against the side of hers, she felt the drag of a thumb. Purposeful. “I can’t stand by and do nothing.” The lump in her throat was there again. “Do you want to talk about the code white? About…About your past residency?”

Of course, Robby would know. Her spiraling wasn’t subtle and Robby was a smart guy. If he could puzzle out medical mysteries and juggle traumas on the fly, connecting the dots about her shitty residency was light work.

Skylar chewed the inside of her cheek—weighing the pros and cons of saying anything. If she opened her mouth now, it’d all spill out. Robby didn’t deserve the mess in her head. She looked to meet his gaze. Hope and worry mingled and mixed in the warmth of his gaze. She shrugged. “No.” Robby seemed to wilt and she had to turn her eyes back to the horizon. “I think some things are better buried. Don’t you?”

It was a rhetorical question.

Robby had skeletons just like she did. He’d understand the importance of burying them as deep as possible. She just had to find a new grave for Steven. One that was deeper, one that wouldn’t be so easily disturbed in the future.

“I lost my mentor during COVID.”

Skylar was startled by Robby’s statement. She glanced over to see he was staring at a spot on the ground.

“He was…I wouldn’t be the doctor I am—the man I am—without Adamson.” Robby said. “I tried everything to…” He cleared his throat and shook his head. “I couldn’t save him, and that haunts me. Sometimes, I lie in bed walking through every medical decision I made and wonder what I could have done differently.”

“Robby…” Skylar murmured. She didn’t need the details of the case to know Robby hadn’t made a careless mistake. He just lost against death. It happened.

Robby took a deep breath. “After that, I always took took PTO on the anniversary of his death. The first time I tried to work it was…Pittfest.”

Skylar pushed off the bar and faced him. His arms rested on the bar so he could lean forward and her instinct was to settle her hands on top of his forearms. Her hands hovered then fell to the side by his hand. A subtle touch, a mild comfort, but not crossing the line. He lifted his head to meet her gaze. “Jesus, Robby.” Robby gave a melancholic, tight lipped smile. “I am so sorry. You…You don’t have to talk about this.”

“I do. And, I want to.” He replied softly. “Because some things shouldn’t stay buried. It’s a…a wound, and we of all people know, ignoring it is only going to make it worse.”

She bit down on her lower lip.

“Pittfest was a shit show. I don’t need to tell you that. I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about it.” Robby said. “Finding out about Langdon was bad. He’s always been… I was his Adamson. It was my goal from the moment I took him under my wing. I wanted to be the kind of mentor Adamson always was for me. So, learning about his addiction from Santos—an intern who had been there less than 12 hours—felt like a failure on my part. I failed him, and by failing Langdon it felt like failing Adamson all over again.

“Then, before I could even process that, we got the call about the fucking shooter.” Robby let out a devastating laugh that punched through Skylar’s chest. His eyes fell again with a shake of his head. “Jake and his girlfriend, Le—” His voice crackled and he cleared his throat before trying again. “Leah. She was—fuck, she was bleeding out in his arms. They were kids at a music concert and they never should have had to—” Robby’s fist clenched tighter and she saw how his knuckles lightened. Skylar dragged her fingers against the tight, pale skin there. “I couldn’t save her. God, I tried everything. But, I couldn’t…I couldn’t…”

“Hey.” Skylar whispered the word. Her free hand found his forearm. Skin touched skin where his hoodie sleeve was tugged up. Skylar tried to think of what to say. An apology didn’t seem enough, and to say it was okay didn’t feel right. It wasn’t okay, but it wasn’t his fault. “You give everything, Robby. I’ve seen it firsthand.” He glanced up to meet her gaze and she squeezed his arm. “You don’t leave anything on the table. I don’t need to know your mentor to know how proud he’d be of you.” Skylar’s brow furrowed. “You’re an incredible doctor and mentor yourself. I see it in every resident here. You’ve already made me a better doctor myself.”

Robby shook his head. “You don’t need to say that.”

“I do. And I mean it.” Skylar twisted her lips. “I’ve seen—”

Skylar’s throat felt thick and she squeezed Robby’s arm in response. Not as comfort for him, but as a lifeline for herself. He stopped leaning in response. Robby rose to his full height to step closer and he surprised her by pulling his arm so his hand landed in hers. Palms ghosted over one another and Skylar watched as he tangled his fingers with hers. The slow movement packed with reassurance.

“You’re a good doctor, a good mentor, and a good man.” She mumbled. “This residency is a testament to that.”

“You shouldn’t give me so much credit.” Robby kept his voice just as quiet between them. His thumb dragging against the back of her hand. “From what I’ve gathered, the bar to be good is pretty low thanks to your previous residency.” Skylar chuckled, but it was humorless. “Thank you. For listening.” She looked up from their hands, but Robby’s brown eyes had a power in them she struggled to fathom. He shook his head. “We can stay up here. If you need another minute of air. Or we can go back down…”

Skylar understood his insinuation. He was giving her an out—a way to avoid talking on her own issues. She appreciated it. More than that, she almost took it. But, there was a bubble of safety that existed in his gaze and hold. With his hand in hers, talking didn’t seem so daunting.

“I wanted to go into EM when I was a medical student.” Skylar said. “I mean, I wanted to go into a lot of specialties. I was considering a bunch, but…I settled on FM because I got into a relationship and he swayed me to stay. In FM. In his hospital. We got together when he was my senior resident and I was a medical student. It was fine, but then he became my attending and I his intern and it…fell apart.”

A part of Robby’s necklace could be seen peeking out from the collar of the t-shirt under his scrubs. Skylar stared at the few visible, gold links. It was easier. As she suspected though, once the cap was undone, it all spilled out. Skylar talked about the her disastrous intern year, all of Steven’s cheating, breaking up with him in second year, and the fall out that came from trying to take back control of her life.

“We went to HR, but it was…” Skylar scoffed. “Useless. They picked his side, of course. Warned me that it would be cruel of me to ‘ruin his career’.” Robby hadn’t spoken beyond an occasional acknowledgement and his hold on her hand had only tightened. “Even when I pressed on and made the formal complaint, it didn’t come to anything. He kept making my life hell, kept making me feel like I was nothing, but it wasn’t until he…he, uh…”

For the first time since she started metaphorically bleeding out, Skylar struggled to find her words. This memory was more fresh. This one still haunted her every night. She felt a brush of Robby’s fingers against her chin and he applied just enough pressure to lift her head up. Automatically, her eyes tracked to his and once his gaze held hers it wasn’t escapable. Robby wore frustration on his features. The worry was still there, but Skylar recognized his face of self-control.

“Did he lay his hands on you?” Robby asked the words slowly, each word leaving its own impact.

“Sort of.” Skylar mumbled. Robby sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes briefly closed. There was tension in his frame. He pulled their joined hands closer to him and pressed the back of hers to the center of his chest. Finally, his eyes reopened with a softer breath. She shook her head. “He cornered me in a supply closet. Mocked me. He…He set his hand on my throat but he never applied pressure.” He squeezed her hand. “After that, I started looking into transferring. I ran away.”

“You escaped.” Robby emphasized as a correction. Skylar shrugged. Robby sighed. “The code white. It stirred all this up, didn’t it?” She nodded weakly. “Fuck, Rielly, I…”

“I didn’t mean—” Skylar choked up. She hadn’t broken through the entirety of it, but now she was shattering. “I’ve been having nightmares about it and about him and I— I didn’t mean to hurt anybody, Robby.” Her eyes burned and her vision was growing blurry. “I didn’t mean to—”

Robby cupped the back of her head and pulled her closer. Skylar buried her face against his chest and let a shaky breath escape. Their joined hands remained between them. Robby tightened his hold on her interlocked fingers and his other house hugged the back of her neck in a way that felt secure—safe.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Robby’s chest rumbled with the reassurance. “Deep breath.”

Skylar followed his instruction and kept her face buried. It was better this way. If she hid here long enough, maybe the day and her sins would disappear. To Robby’s credit, he didn’t let go. The bar ran between them and if he pulled her any closer he’d be dragging her over it.

“This won’t be what you want to hear.” Robby’s head was pressed to the top of hers and he only had to murmur his words for her to catch them. “But you need a break, Rielly. You can’t keep this up.”

He was right. As much as she wanted to deny it, there was a patient down in the Pitt who had coded because of her. Skylar couldn’t stomach the thought of accidentally killing someone because she was too proud to admit she needed help.

“I know.” She mumbled. “I know.”

“We’ll figure something out. Get you settled. I promise.”

Skylar closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. Her hand tightened against his and he pressed it more firmly against his chest. This was a wound. It wouldn’t be fun, it’d hurt like a bitch, but she needed to debride it. There was no putting this off any longer.

She could do this.

Could she do this?

Robby liked to think he was the kind of man who could control his temper. There were slip ups. Times when, like a shaken soda bottle, it built up, built up, built up, only to pop at the most inopportune moment. In his defense, nothing made him lose his temper faster than when his staff was in danger. This was his ED. These were his people.

Hearing all Rielly had been through made Robby see red.

He couldn’t even process it as he wanted to because in that moment on the rooftop, she didn’t need any more anger. She needed comfort. Now though, standing at the start of a new shift, staring at the tracking board he was fuming. Robby hadn’t even slept through the night. He just ruminated on her pain—on the fucking asshole that caused it.

“Was her previous residency as bad as we thought?” Abbot asked.

Robby hung his head and took a slow breath. His blood was boiling. If he didn’t get a grasp on this now, he’d be useless the rest of the day. Last night, Rielly hadn’t given him a name, and he refused to press. However, he had done his own digging. He needed a name to place all his hatred on, and he had found one. Steven Lafferty. Based on the dates he knew, it had to be this bastard. His face was all over Rielly’s past residency’s website. Clearly the “golden boy”, and that only infuriated Robby all the more.

“Worse.” Robby rubbed his jaw then the back of his neck. As if he could massage away the tension he gained secondhand from anger. “Way worse.”

“Fuck.” Abbot hummed. Even that word wasn’t enough to encompass this. Robby forced his eyes open and stared blankly at the board again. None of the words actually registering. Abbot cleared his throat, “What’s she gonna do? Some time off seems best but that’s never easy in residency…”

“We moved around her schedule.” Robby nodded. “She was supposed to have CME at the end of the year, but we moved it to the next two weeks. Kiara is gonna get her set up with a therapist today so she’ll be doing that five days a week, but that’ll cut back to once a week once she’s back in the Pitt.”

Assuming she was cleared after two weeks.

“Good.” Abbot had his arms crossed as he leaned back in his seat. “That’s good.” His eyes darted past Robby. “Here so soon?”

“Don’t you know? I live here.” Dana snorted and set her bag on the counter with a shake of her head. She turned to Robby. “So?”

Robby didn’t need any further clarification on what she was asking about.

“She’s gonna be okay.” Robby said. “She’ll work with Kiara today and get set up with someone. She’ll be back in two weeks.”

Dana set a hand over her heart and sighed. “Poor kid. I’m glad she’s getting help.” She reached out and squeezed Robby’s elbow. “She’s strong. She’ll be back better than ever. Nothing’ll keep that girl down.”

Robby nodded in response and Dana wandered away.

A nurse came over to ask Abbot about a patient and Robby listened in so he’d be caught up. After they rushed away with new orders, Abbot started walking through the board with Robby. It was a bit early, but he was here and if Robby could get Abbot out a couple minutes early—or at least on time—it’d be a nice change of pace.

“We’re waiting on surgery.” Abbot hummed.

“Aren’t we always?”

“The guys in North Two and Three came in together. Fucking idiots. They—”

The radio crackled to life with warning of a trauma. Abbot and Robby both glanced over as Lena paused in her check out to Dana to pick up the radio and answer. There was a beat and the paramedics came over again.

“We’re coming in hot. Unstable suicide attempt. It’s a PTMC resident.”

The room froze. Patients went about their way, the noise continued, but any staff within range of the radio went rigid. Lena demanded further info but the radio stayed silent. Robby lost his breath. Mohan and Thompson were safe. They were in sight and accounted for.

A siren screamed into their ambulance bay, and for a second nobody moved. It was a hesitation that was unheard of for the response staff of the Pitt. It didn’t last long. The spell broke and then it was a mad rush. Chaos as they rushed to aid one of their own.

It didn’t matter how fast he moved, Robby’s steps felt heavy. He was worried about any of his residents, but there was one in particular who had just gone through an upheaval through her past.

If this were Rielly…

The thought alone nearly took him to his knees.

The doors burst open like thunder and Robby hated that he breathed a sigh of relief at the body on the stretcher. It wasn’t an appropriate response by any means, but it couldn’t be bit back. The patient wasn’t one of his residents.

“26 year old African American male found unconscious by roommate in their bathroom.” A paramedic was actively coding them. “Trauma to both wrists. BP 75/42 on arrival, but he coded en route.”

“Oh my God, that’s Miles.” Thompson came up behind Robby.

“Trauma One.” Abbot commanded and took charge.

Abbot shared a glance with Robby and it was all that was needed. Shen ran past the collecting mob to be a second pair of hands. Thompson and Mohan both tried to rush to Trauma One as well. Robby blocked and corralled them toward the nursing station while Dana whipped the curtain shut to hide the chaos.

“Dr. Robby—” Mohan began.

“No. Not on a fellow resident, it’s a conflict.” Robby shook his head. “We have a protocol in place for this.” It wasn’t the kind of situation that should happen enough to warrant a protocol, yet… “You want to help? Check in on all the other patients. Make sure they’re settled for shift change.”

Mohan hesitated then gave a curt nod and slipped away. Thompson started to turn, but Robby called him back.

“Yes, sir?”

“You’re both interns.” Robby said. “Were you close?”

“Not really. Santos and I only really saw him for didactics.”

Didactics was a learning session all the interns did together. IM, EM, OBGYN, and Surgery. Robby didn’t know much about the intern on death’s door. He did recognize him from the incident not long ago with the patient that was discharged prior to labs returning. But, that was all he knew.

“Alright. Go see your patients.” Robby nodded.

Thompson wandered away—clearly dazed.

Robby rubbed his face and let out a deep sigh. He leaned against the counter and listened for a call from Trauma One, just in case he was needed. A hand found his back, rubbing up and down soothingly, but Robby didn’t flinch as he recognized the presence.

“It wasn’t her. She’s alright.” Dana murmured.

“It’s still a resident. It’s still not okay.” Robby lowered the hand from his face with a curse. 

“It’s not.” Dana nodded. “But take a breath.”

Robby shook his head. “Feeling any sort of relief right now is fucked up.”

“We’re human.” Dana reassured him then walked around the counter to the phone. “This is a tragedy, and I hate it, but I wouldn’t know how to handle myself if it were one of ours.”

Neither would Robby. He had seen this kind of thing up close and personal as a resident himself. Him and Abbot both had separate brushes with it—hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if every person in healthcare had a story similar to this. It was why when they took the lead here, they both made the promise to not let their program be like others. Their residents wouldn’t fall through the cracks.

“Calling Herrera?” Robby asked.

“She’s always here early.” Dana nodded. “She’ll want to know.”

Robby nodded in agreement. After the call was answered, and Dana spoke in a soft tone to the other end, Robby drifted to Trauma One. He stepped into the slowing chaos. Vitals weren’t great, but they were better. They had achieved ROSC. The patient—Miles was getting units of blood right now and his wrists were packed. Nurses were unlocking the bed wheels.

“He’s going up to surgery now.” Abbot walked over. He hadn’t gowned up. Blood was drying on his arms and scrub top. “Bilateral wrist trauma. He, uh, he had a goal in mind.” Abbot sighed and ripped his gloves off. “He cut through the tendons on his left.”

“Fuck.” Robby breathed. “How is he alive?”

“A miracle? He was too weak to do the same kind of damage to the right, but…”

Usually the barrier tendons in a person’s wrist were almost protective in the event of self harm. This wasn’t a cry for help. This was a curtain call. Robby watched the bed get rolled away and his eyes landed on Shen who stood frozen to the side. Like Abbot, he hadn’t donned a gown and had a splattering of blood on him. The usually cool and collected man had a faraway gaze.

“Shen.” Robby called for him. It took sayin his name twice more before he looked up. “You okay?”

Shen shook his head and cleared his throat. “I, uh, I had him as—as my med student. When I was a PGY4 on my last ICU rotation before graduating.”

Abbot and Robby both shared a glance. If Robby had known that, he wouldn’t have let the young attending come rushing in. Abbot clapped Robby on the back and walked over to Shen. “Come on. Let’s go get cleaned up.”

Shen didn’t argue and followed Abbot out the back of the trauma room to avoid curious eyes. Robby scanned the torn apart trauma room. This was always a haunting moment, in the quiet moments after the whirlwind of disaster, but this episode was more than haunting. There was a revolting dread that lingered in the air.

Robby knew it wouldn’t disperse for quite some time.