Chapter Text
Overall, the weekend was shaping up to be a great one.
Team RWBY and JNPR had set up everything perfectly—an entire day dedicated to pure, uninterrupted relaxation.
The common room had been transformed into the ultimate hangout spot. Snacks of every kind were piled onto the table, a mountain of chips, dips, cookies, and sodas forming what could only be described as Nora’s Culinary Disasterpiece. A selection of movies was queued up, covering everything from cheesy horror flicks to action-packed blockbusters, all ready to be played at a moment’s notice. And, most importantly, the grand tournament of Ultimate Battle Hero Huntress 3X was about to commence—where victory, pride, and bragging rights for the whole weekend were on the line.
Ruby was already loading up the game disc, practically vibrating in place with excitement.
Yang and Pyrrha were perched on the couch, deep in discussion about next week’s training schedule, already planning how to work off today’s excessive calorie intake.
Nora was in the process of constructing an abomination of a snack tower, layering chips, cookies, cheese puffs, and what looked like peanut butter.
Blake sat by the window, one of her literature books in hand, only half-reading as she occasionally glanced at the chaos unfolding around her.
Ren and Weiss, meanwhile, were locked in a conversation that sounded a bit too complex for Jaune’s taste—something about economic policies and their effects on the Kingdoms? He was lost within the first sentence.
Jaune himself was just lounging, waiting for the game tournament to start. Or at least, that’s what he wanted to do.
The moment his scroll started vibrating and ringing, the room’s energy shifted.
“Ohhhhh” Yang grinned, leaning in as she caught the song playing as his ringtone. “Really, Vomit Boy? Backstreet?”
“Shut it! It’s a classic,” Jaune shot back, slightly flustered.
Still, he answered the call. “Jaune here?”
His confused expression quickly turned into one of excitement. “Oh! Congrats, man! That’s awesome!”
By now, the entire room was paying attention. Not just because Jaune was acting enthusiastic, but because it was rare for someone outside their usual circle to call him with news that made him that happy.
“So soon? … Oh, got it. No problem, man. Give me like thirty minutes, and I’ll be there!”
The second he hung up, the interrogation began.
“Ohhhh, very mysterious,” Nora teased with a mischievous grin. “Are your old friends calling in secret favors? Are we about to go on a super classified, never-talk-about-it-again mission?!” She was practically nose-to-nose with him at this point.
“...No?” Jaune replied, now feeling very on the spot.
He hesitated for a second, then finally admitted, “You guys know Nath, right? N from Team Ultraviolet?”
There was a collective nod.
“Well… he’s getting married today.”
Instantly, Ruby squealed in excitement.
Jaune had expected some reaction, but Ruby’s sheer joy caught even him off guard. Then again, he really shouldn’t have been surprised. She had always been a huge fan of Nath. Something about his upbeat attitude, boundless energy, and just genuinely nice personality had made him an instant favorite in her book.
Jaune, meanwhile, had also spent a good amount of time with Team ULVN, and while he liked Nath well enough… Uzi still gave him heart palpitations. The girl was an absolute menace. Not Nora -levels of chaos, but sometimes even worse! That trident railgun of hers was sick as hell, though.
Still, the room was buzzing with excitement now.
“So, wedding crashing?” Yang grinned.
“It’s not crashing if you’re invited,” Jaune sighed. “And I’m not invited, they are doing it just the four of them.”
“The whole team is marring?!” Nora asked excitedly.
Weiss rolled her eyes, ready to deny it as if it was impossible.
“Yup! Nath asked Uzi after their last mission. Van and Lizzy decided that they wanted in, and Uzi just went with it.”
“What?! What sort of degeneracy is this?!” Weiss complained.
“What?” Jaune fired back completely confused.
“How can four people marry? What type of church allows such a thing?!”
“Like all Churchs of the Lord of Light? At least here in Vale and Mistral.” He replied, still confused. “You do know that there are even incentives for hunter teams to marry and stuff like that right?”
“Atlas follows the Lady of the Everwinter Jaune.” Blake answered by the window. “They are monogamous and the matrimony bond is unbreakable and unique in life.” She said with clear disdain.
Menagerie follows Mother Gaia and the Beast Lord right? Jaune though, he knew for sure it wasn’t the Infinite king or the Dark Queen, but his knowledge kinda ended there. He really needed to get his theological studies back in order. It felt like a lifetime ago that he left the monastery.
“Exactly!”
“.....Okay. But we are not in Atlas. And Nath is marrying at a church of Light. SO what does this have to do with anything?” Ruby asked from the side.
“And you are all okay with this sort of degeneracy?”
“Your upbring is showing snow queen.” Yang said from the side. “Dad and Mom were team bound just so you know.”
Ruby nodded happily.
“It’s actually pretty common among Hunter teams,” Ren replied, unbothered. “It allows members to form deeper bonds in some cases.”
“And the benefits are great,” Jaune added, getting up from the sofa to grab a change of clothes.
“What, other than sheer degeneracy, could possibly be the benefit of marrying multiple partners?” Weiss snapped, her face flushed red.
Jaune returned a moment later, setting a heavy leather bag down with a solid thud.
“Legally?” he asked, casually. “For starters, you get a massive tax break on shared expenses, free healthcare and there is a monetary incentive to have one or more children. Your team also becomes your legal beneficiaries—and they’re entitled to full Vale support in the event of maternity leave or partner death.”
Weiss blinked, wide-eyed and speechless. How did Jaune, of all people, know that?
“And then there’s the benefits for student teams here at Beacon,” he continued.
“Students can marry?” Ruby asked from the couch, eyes wide.
“Technically speaking, all Huntsmen-in-training are considered legal adults once they join an academy,” he explained, opening the bag and removing its contents as he spoke. “Didn’t you ever wonder why some teams have whole houses instead of apartments with a shared common room? You get that if your team—or at least some of its members—are married. Plus, they get access to new electives like home-ec.”
The rest of the team leaned in, watching as Jaune laid out several surprising items.
First came a massive, leather-bound tome—a red and gold-embossed edition of The Path of Light , the central holy text of the Church of Light.
Then, a long strand of carved stone prayer beads with gold tassels at the ends.
Next, a pristine white cassock adorned with golden embroidery, a dragon-headed belt, and a matching stole.
“Wait... we could’ve had a house all to ourselves?!” Yang asked, flabbergasted.
“If you were married? Yeah.” Jaune nodded, inspecting the robe. “All you have to do is bring in a marriage certificate and the right paperwork to Miss Goodwitch.”
“And how do you even know that ?” Weiss asked, still flustered.
“Helped Team BCKG with theirs,” Jaune said, pulling off his hoodie and shirt—completely oblivious to Pyrrha’s reddening cheeks and the not-so-subtle eyebrow waggle Nora sent Ren. “Bob’s a cool guy once you get past his whole...leather thing. But wow, their paperwork was a disaster. Did you know Gia’s actual name is Gislaine?”
He slipped on the robe.
It was unmistakably a ceremonial cassock of the Church of Light—pure white, with golden filigree tracing every seam. The collar rose high and thigh around his neck, forming a golden halo emblem at the throat.
Ren stared, eyebrows lifting. “Why do you have a Light Priest’s garb?”
“Oh. Did I never tell you guys?” Jaune scratched his head, a little sheepish. “I’m a certified priest of the Light. Officially trained. Fully licensed. Whole deal.”
“I call bullshit.”
“Yang! Language! ” Ruby snapped.
Jaune, unfazed, reached beneath his robes and pulled out his scroll. He flicked through it for a moment, then casually tossed it to Yang.
Her eyes went wide.
“No fuc—”
“ YANG! ”
“— freaking way.” She spun around and held up the scroll for the rest of the group to see.
On the screen was a certification in Jaune’s name, identifying him as an ordained priest of the Church of Light—Third Order, officially recognized by the Church of Doramy.
“ Explain, ” Blake demanded, arms crossed.
Jaune, meanwhile, was struggling to properly tie the dragon-headed belt around his cassock. The traditional belt was meant to wrap around his waist and knot in the front, not buckle or clasp. It also had to be positioned just right so the coiling form of the Lord of Light’s dragon—a sacred symbol—was properly aligned and facing forward, as if it were encircling him.
“I’m the first male Arc of my generation,” he said, still fiddling with the belt.
That answered nothing, and Blake's deadpan stare made it clear. She gestured for him to keep going.
“My dad, my grandfather, basically every Arc before me—they were Paladins of the Light.”
More than a few jaws dropped at that.
There weren’t many Paladins left these days. Earning the title was a rare honor. Sure, other faiths had their own Huntsmen and Huntresses, but few were as storied—or as respected—as the Paladins of Light.
“So... as the firstborn male, I got shipped off to the monastery to be a priest,” Jaune continued. “Didn’t even get a chance to train as a Paladin, even though I wanted to be a Huntsman.”
That revelation clicked a few things into place for Ruby and Pyrrha. His shaky knowledge of Dust. His preference for a simple sword and shield. His fighting style rooted in old-school fundamentals. Paladins didn’t use dust, and the monasteries were famous for preaching simplicity and reliance in the old ways.
“Still, one of my sisters is a priestess of the Light,” he added with a shrug, grabbing the long strand of stone prayer beads and looping them around his forearm. “So my generation’s doing its part. Not like one less priest is going to make a difference” The last held a bit of contempt that no one else in the room expected.
“I’m still confused,” Nora said from the side, idly twirling one of the golden tassels on Jaune’s stole. “Why does Nath know you’re a priest, and why did he call you ?”
“Oh, he didn’t,” Jaune replied. “Father Jenkins is out sick, so he couldn’t officiate the wedding today. Nath didn’t want to delay the ceremony—his words were: ‘Uzi’s already trying to kill Lizzy’—so they just called the closest certified priest.”
He paused for a second, frowning.
“…I don’t remember ever putting myself down as a substitute priest. Or offering my services through the chapel.”
He shrugged it off. “Maybe Beacon added my license to their files?”
“We have a chapel?” Pyrrha asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yup! Also one for Gaia, and another for the Winter Lady. They’re both near the second-year dorms.”
“So you’re really going there to marry them?”
“Yep!” he said brightly. “And probably fill out the paperwork, too. I’d bet 20 lien no one over there knows how to do it properly." He added the golden stole over his robes, making sure both sides were equal and that the human and dragon form depicted on each side weren't crumpled or crooked.
No one took the bet.
“...Wait.” Nora suddenly lit up. “Does that mean you can marry us?! ”
“Us as in—?”
“Team JNPR!” she half-shouted, half-cheered. “Just imagine it! We could get our own house!”
“It’s not a bad idea, actually,” Jaune said calmly.
Pyrrha turned as red as her hair, and Ren blinked.
He looked from Nora to Ren, then back. “You guys are on student visas, right? If you married me, you’d get Valean citizenship. No more visa renewals every year.”
It was a solid point. No kingdom ever denied a license to Huntsmen—more warriors meant more protection after all—but the bureaucracy was still a nightmare.
“I knew you were after my sweet, sweet body!” Nora gasped in mock horror.
Jaune just raised an eyebrow, then casually wrapped an arm around Ren’s shoulders in a side hug.
“Who said anything about you ?” he said with a wink.
Ren, to his credit, managed to mostly hide his forming blush.
“ Hands off, buster! That’s mine—at least until you put a ring on us! ” Nora lunged at him playfully, and Jaune let go, laughing.
“It’s a bit unfair to Pyrrha, though,” he said, sobering a little. “We’d have to stay married for, like, two to three years to avoid drawing attention.”
“And you know that how, exactly?” Blake asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
“No reason. Definitely not because I’ve helped facilitate intra-kingdom marriages before. Why would you think that?” Jaune replied way too quickly.
“I’m sure Pyrrha wouldn’t mind,” Yang teased, sporting a grin that could shatter glass. “Right, P-Money?”
Pyrrha gave a small, flustered nod, cheeks still burning from earlier.
“You’re too nice, Pyrrs,” Jaune said with a smile. “But what about your career? Marrying out of nowhere might raise a few eyebrows.”
“And you, Arc?” Weiss chimed in, arms crossed. “You’re really okay with this whole arrangement?”
“Have you seen my team?” Jaune asked, hands going wide as if to display the rest of JNPR. “I’m like winning the lottery three times in a row!”
“Oh, you flatter,” Nora said bashfully, waving a hand in mock modesty. “Keep going.”
Jaune grinned wider. If she was encouraging him, who was he to stop now?
“Pyrrha is basically the definition of the full package. Like, open a dictionary and bam—her picture is right there. You couldn’t ask for a better person to have your back. Whether you're just hanging out or in the middle of a life-or-death battle, she’s the one you want beside you.”
Pyrrha tried to shrink into her chair, but her vivid blush betrayed her. Her face was so red it was nearly indistinguishable from her hair.
“She’s brilliant, stunning, and probably the kindest, most selfless person I’ve ever met. How could anyone not love her? Everything she does—everything—is to help someone else. She’s the textbook example of a pure-souled heroine. The kind everyone looks up to and dreams of becoming.”
“Jaune!” Pyrrha whispered, her voice barely audible as she covered part of her face with her hands.
“I mean, I’m a priest of the Light, and I shouldn’t say that the Lord has favorites... but just look at her!”
Everyone chuckled, and Jaune used the moment to slide behind Nora.
“And then, we’ve got possibly the cutest gremlin to ever be born.” He leaned over to boop her nose. “An adorable, chaos-fueled menace.”
“Hey! I resemble that!”
“ Resent , Nora,” Weiss corrected, sighing.
“No I don’t!” she retorted proudly, sticking her tongue out.
“She’s the type of girl who’ll drag you into a crazy adventure at the drop of a hat—and you’ll love every second of it. Your life? Never boring again. And even when everything goes sideways, you’ll never feel alone, not with her around. She’ll laugh through the storm and dare it to try harder. You wake up every morning knowing she’s got your back, that you’re loved, and that whatever happens—it’s going to be wild, unpredictable, and unforgettable.”
Nora giggled, cheeks pink now.
“And Ren —my brother from another mother.” Jaune scooted over with mock seriousness. “Best-looking guy in all of Beacon. No contest.”
He leaned closer like he was about to share classified intel.
“Pretty sure he made some boys in the locker room consider switching teams, if you catch my drift.”
He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Weiss gasped. Ruby tilted her head, confused.
“Best listener around. Always calm, always steady. When you're falling apart, he’s there with a quiet word and a hot cup of tea. You could be standing at the end of the world, and if Ren was beside you, you'd believe everything’s going to be alright.”
He placed a hand on Ren’s shoulder, suddenly genuine.
“Honestly, my only real problem with this whole idea is figuring out who to have as my best man—since I’d be marrying the only person I’d want standing beside me.”
Ren blinked, eyes widening as Jaune’s words fully sank in. A faint flush colored his cheeks.
“...Are you serious, Jaune?” he asked quietly.
“Hell yeah, man.” Jaune met his gaze without hesitation. “I love you like family. Couldn’t imagine doing life without you.”
Just then, Jaune’s scroll buzzed.
“Oh crap—I’m almost late!” He lunged for the red-bound ceremonial tome. “How do I look?”
“Regal,” Weiss said, trying to maintain her composure despite the very public display of affection she'd just witnessed.
“Priestly,” Yang teased.
“Cute as a button!” Nora added with a wink.
“See you guys later!” Jaune waved as he dashed out the door, trailing loose tassels and ceremonial fabric behind him.
The room was quiet for a beat.
“…So we marrying him, right?” Nora asked casually.
Pyrrha and Ren both nodded. Their expressions were deadly serious.
Ruby let out an excited squeal. Weiss cradled her head in both hands like she was experiencing a migraine. Blake didn’t say anything—but her eyes lingered on the door long after Jaune had gone, thoughtful and moved.
Nora suddenly sprang forward and grabbed Ruby’s face with both hands.
“You still have access to the forge, right?”
“Yesh,” Ruby mumbled through squished cheeks.
“And you can do small, delicate work too, yeah?”
Ruby nodded. Of course she could. Most of Crescent Rose’s parts were custom and hand-forged.
“We’re making rings ,” Nora declared with a radiant grin.
“Only if I get to be maid of honor!” Ruby half-yelled, now vibrating with excitement.
“You can even bring Crescent Rose if you help!”
“I’m grabbing my tools!” A blast of rose petals marked her swift exit as she raced toward Team RWBY’s dorm.
“You two figure out a good date for the proposal!” Nora called after her. “Jaune-Jaune is a catch! I want it to be romantic, dammit!”
“Nora, I believe we should court Jaune first,” Ren said thoughtfully.
“You cannot be serious,” Weiss groaned from behind her hands.
“I believe giving this relationship a genuine foundation and chance is in our best interest,” Ren replied calmly. “Jaune is attractive, reliable, and clearly holds us in deep regard. It would be foolish not to try.”
Yang turned to Pyrrha, one eyebrow raised. “You okay with sharing, P-Money?”
Pyrrha, cheeks still pink, nodded slowly. She was still processing everything—but she wasn’t opposed.
“Then it’s settled!” Nora clapped her hands, eyes gleaming. “ Operation: Marry Jaune-Jaune is officially a go!”
And with that, she was pulled into the forge in a petal-fueled whirlwind.