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Bucky stepped over the threshold into his apartment in Brooklyn. He couldn’t help but breathe in the musky scent of disuse. He wanted Steve to be here, to hold the smaller man in his arms. Under the dust, which was only there because he couldn’t tell his mother and Becca that he was coming, Bucky could smell Steve’s faint scent of pencil shavings and acrylic paint. Steve. Tiny. Beautiful. His.
Steve had been accepted as a candidate for Project Rebirth, which chilled Bucky to the marrow. If Steve were the one they’d chosen, Bucky could lose him. They could change his Steve into someone else.
Would Steve still love him?
If Steve were the one being give the serum today, would everything change?
Bucky loved Steve so much that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He didn’t want to know what his life looked like without Steve. He never wanted to live without Steve.
He’d barely put his rucksack on his bed when he heard a knock on the door. Sighing, he opened the creaky door to a uniformed driver.
“Sargent Barnes?”
“Yes.”
“I’m here to take you to your destination.”
Bucky nodded, locking the door behind him and putting on his hat, cover in the military, over his dark locks. Following the man, he climbed into the back of a ’37 Ford Coupe. Inside, Senator Brant smiled at Bucky.
“Sir,” Bucky greeted.
As soon as Bucky had stepped off of the plane, Senator Brant’s aide had met him, wanting him to be a witness to the new discoveries, to the new army. Bucky had agreed hoping to see Steve, not as the test subject, obviously. He just wanted to see Steve.
“Sargent Barnes, You’re in for a treat.”
“I think so, sir. With enough of these super soldiers, the war could end soon.”
“I hope so,” Senator Brant said. “i think it’s good that you’re here to see this. It can give you hope.”
Bucky just hoped that Steve wouldn’t be the one given the serum.
At the warehouse, Bucky met Howard Stark, who made a joke about him being a ladies man, “You’re a handsome one,” he said. “I bet you get all the ladies.”
Bucky didn’t correct him.
“So, have you see the soldier the’ve chosen?”
Bucky shook his head.
“Well, let’s just say that he’s not a typical soldier.”
Shit.
“So is he, like, weak?”
“Small. He's the size of a sixth grader.”
“Eighth,” Bucky corrected under his breath.
“I’m sorry?”
“Nothing. Why did he get chosen?”
“He’s really clever, and too brave for his own good.”
Tell me about it.
“What did he do?” Bucky asked, exasperated.
“Jumped on a dummy grenade.”
Bucky could see Steve doing just that. Did Steve know that it was a dud when he wrapped around the grenade? What had gone through Steve head when he’d thought he would die? Had he though of Bucky? Had he regretted that he would die? That he would leave Bucky alone?
What if Steve had died? How could Bucky ever find out? No one would tell him that his male lover had died rescuing others. It’s how Steve would want to go, but Bucky didn’t want to out-live Steve.
Bucky was staring at the machine that would change Steve, if, in fact, the candidate was Steve, when a uniformed woman entered. She was curvy, tall, lovely. If Bucky’s gaze hadn’t been fixated on the man who cam in behind her, he would have stared at her.
“Steve,” Bucky whispered.
Steve’s blue eyes were wide. He moved forward quickly and hugged Bucky. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“No on is supposed to. I was chosen to witness the super soldier.” Conscious of their audience, Bucky pulled away. “I heard about the grenade, kiddo.”
“I didn’t want you to know about that.”
“you’re too brave for your own good.”
“You’ve said that often enough.”
“So,” said Howard. “You two know each other?”
“Yeah,” Bucky answered. “Steve’s been my best friend since we were kids.”
“How fortuitous that you are here,” said the woman in a melodious British accent.
“Peggy Carter, this is James Barnes. Bucky, this is Peggy.”
“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“You as well.”
“Now that the introductions are done, do you think we can get this over with?” the colonel asked.
Under the cover of shaking Steve’s hand, Bucky squeezed his lover’s hand reassuringly. “I’ll be here when you come out.”
Nodding, Steve returned the squeeze. Their eyes met and said so much.
Bucky reluctantly moved to sit beside Peggy Carter, in the audience balcony of the operation theater. His heart in his throat, he watched Steve take off his khaki, uniform shirt. Steve hadn’t been eating properly. He was thinner, paler. Bucky didn’t want to think about why Steve hadn’t been taking care of himself. Camp food was usually awful, but Steve didn’t usually complain, he wasn’t exactly picky.
The older man in the group gave Steve a shot then then laughed at something Steve said. After a few minutes, Steve moved into the machine. Bucky sat up straighter, as if a poker were thrust into his spine.
“Are you all right?” Peggy cared asked.
“I’ve been better. I didn’t know it would be Steve.”
“Does that bother you?”
More than you know. "Steve is family to me. I’m afraid for him.”
Peggy touched Bucky’s forearm. “I understand.”
What did that mean? Did she understand because she was his friend? Or did she understand because she was in love with Steve? Bucky found it hard to believe that the woman didn’t love Steve, at least a little bit.
When Steve began to scream in pain, Bucky and Peggy ran down to the operation area. Peggy moved to order the machine shut down and Bucky rush to the window that allowed him to see Steve.
“Stevie!” Bucky yelled, slapping the glass, too much light cam from the pod and he couldn’t see much of the love of his life.
“Stop it!” Bucky cried. “Shut it down!”
“No!” Steve yelled. “I can take it.”
Pressing his forehead against the glass, Bucky prayed, silently begging whatever gods existed to allow Steve to survive. Bucky didn’t care what Steve looked like. He just wanted Steve alive. He couldn’t lose Steve. Not now. Not ever.
Without realizing that tears track down his cheeks, Bucky closed his eyes as Steve’s screams died down.
When the transformation was complete and the panels around Steve moved, Bucky was aghast. Stevie was, in a word, huge. He stood taller than Bucky, his chest broad and glistening as Steve took deep breaths.
“Steve?” Bucky whispered.
Steve’s blue eyes opened and met Bucky’s. The were the same as ever. Deep. Lovely.
Dr. Erkskin and Howard Stark helped Steve down, while Bucky could only stare at his lover.
“How do you feel?” Dr. Erkskin asked.
“Taller,” Steve replied, watching Bucky.
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked.
Nodding, Steve accepted a white teeshirt as Colonel Phillips entered with SenatorBrant and his aides. With a moment alone with Steve, Bucky said, “Why didn’t you let me stop it, Stevie?”
Without looking at Bucky, Steve responded, “I could do it.”
“I know that, babydoll. When. . .” Bucky had to take a moment to compose himself. “You were screaming. I had to. . . I couldn’t stop it.”
Steve wanted to hod Bucky, to burn the sound of his screams from Bucky’s memory.
His instincts had him looking up to see a man in a brown coat pointing a gun. Without a thought for his own safety, he shoved Bucky to the ground as shots were fired.
Dr. Erkskin fell. And Steve discovered that he was too fast and strong for his own good.
***
When he returned to the warehouse after watching Dr. Erkskin’s murderer commit suicide, Steve found Bucky getting a cut on his cheek stitched.
“Are you hit?”
“No,” Bucky said through gritted teeth. “It happened when you pushed me down.”
“I-I. . .”
“Stop, Steve. You got me outta the line of fire. You’re not used to the strength yet.”
“I broke a window and pulled a door off of a cab.”
Bucky’s barked out a laugh that caused Steve to laugh along with him.
“Where do you have to go now?”
“The senator wants me ta do these USO tours, sell war bonds.”
The medic left Bucky to see to another patient and Bucky moved to Steve. “So, you’re gonna be a chorus girl?” He said softly, his deep voice making Steve shiver in anticipation of the pleasure that could and would be given to him. “I think I’d like to see you in one of the skirts.”
Steve whispered Bucky’s name. “You. . . you still. . .”
“Babydoll, your body isn’t what makes you. . . you. . . Your heart, your soul. I fell in love with those. Even though you’re built now, you’re still Steven Grant Rogers. You’re still the love of my life. I still want you. Every day. ’Til the end of the line, Stevie.”
Steve felt his shoulders sag in relief. He’d been so worried that Bucky wouldn’t be attracted to his new body, especially when he’d thrown Bucky to the floor to get him away from the bullets.
“I love you, Buck. I wanna go home with you and spend as much time as possible with you now.”
“I know, babydoll. Let’s make that happen.”
***
Back at the apartment, Bucky slowly undressed Steve, exploring the new muscle, the newly shaped bones. He cupped the face that was so much the same as the one he’d fallen in love with, looked into the unchanged cornflower blue eyes. In that moment, Bucky knew that he would never love another. He would always love and want Steve.
“I want you inside me this time, Stevie.”
Steve looked at him. “I’ve never. . .”
“I know. I want that for us. I want you to take me, and I want to be the first, the only. As you’re my first. My only.”
Steve kissed him, long and deep. Memorizing his lips. Tasting his tongue. Loving Bucky with his mouth. Bucky slipped out of his clothes and they stood together, naked and kissing, touching, exploring.
Steve kissed Bucky’s throat again and again, all over. Whisper-soft kisses. His lips barely grazing the tanned flesh. Tilting Bucky’s head, Steve touched his lips to the underside of Bucky’s jaw, flicking his tongue out to taste. When his mouth passed lightly over Bucky’s ear, Bucky sighed in contentment and love. Steve closed his lips over Bucky’s earlobe and heard him groan.
Steve tangled his hands in Bucky’s dark hair and felt him grip his shoulders tightly, heard him sigh in pleasure.
Steve took Bucky’s lips again, enjoying the warm satin of them. Steve reveled in Bucky’s sighs and gasps as his hands roamed over Bucky’s skin. He deepened the kiss, devouring Bucky’s mouth, greedy for what he’d waited so long to have again. Flicking his tongue across Bucky’s lips, Steve darted it between them.
Bucky pulled back and looked into Steve’s eyes. “Have you been practicing?”
Steve laughed. “You know I haven’t. I’ve been thinking about this for months.”
Bucky smiled and kissed Steve again, at first chastely, then lightly stroking the seam of Steve’s lips with the tip of his tongue.
Steve held the back of Bucky’s head and explored Bucky’s mouth with his tongue. A hum of satisfaction coursed through each of them. He settled against Bucky, one leg resting between his, his erection hard against Bucky’s stomach.
Bucky broke the kiss and said, “It’s good to see that some things don’t change. “
Laughing, Steve thrust against Bucky. Then shifted his weight and moved down, lowering his lips to Bucky’s collarbone. He touched it with his lips and Bucky shivered. He trailed kisses, kissing a slow path from the center of Bucky’s chest, wanting a specific target. Wanting to taste Bucky.
Pressing Bucky’s legs apart, Steve flicked his tongue out to lick a strip over Bucky’s puckered flesh. Bucky cried out as Steve buried his tongue inside him. “God! Steve!”
Steve licked and suckled, enjoying the taste, the feel of Bucky. Loving the sounds that Bucky made as Steve’s tongue moved moved inside of him. Gripping Bucky’s hips, Steve thrust his tongue harder into his lover, wanting to be inside of him, wanting to feel Bucky under him, around him, wanting to show Bucky how much he loved him, how much he’d missed him.
“Please, Steve! Please take me.”
Steve got the vaseline that they kept in the drawer beside the bed without taking his tongue from Bucky’s body, his arms were much longer than they once were. He coated his fingers and, pulling off of him, slipped one of the lubricated digits past Bucky’s tight ring of muscle.
He gasped and reached up to grip Steve’s shoulders. He felt so full, so right** with part of Steve’s body inside part of his.
“More, babydoll. Give me more.”
Steve pressed first one more, then two more fingers into Bucky’s body, stretching him, letting him wallow in the sweet burn that showed Steve that he was ready for him.
“You’re sure?”
“Now, Stevie. Take me now.”
Steve looked down at him with such longing. Bucky was ready. He throbbed with need. Pulling his fingers from Bucky’s body, Steve nudged Bucky’s prepared opening. Bucky gripped Steve’s now broad shoulders again and arched against Steve, begging wordlessly for him to fill the empty space.
Steve pressed into Bucky and he threw his head back against the pillow. “God, Stevie. Yes.” Steve loved the feel of Bucky stretched around him, the sound of his pants of pleasure. Taking Steve’s head, Bucky kissed his lips. “I love you. I love you. Always.”
Bucky’s breath cam out in frantic little pants. Just seeing him like this, half-delirious with pleasure as his climax approached, even thought Steve had only just buried himself inside Bucky, nearly stripped Steve of all resolve. He thrusted as Bucky reached around him to grip Steve’s ass and press him harder into him. Bracing himself on one forearm, Steve gripped Bucky’s hip and tilted him, then thrust forcefully. They both groaned. It was better than Steve had imagined, feeling Bucky close around him.
Pulling almost all the way out, he sank in again to the hilt.
“Yes, Stevie. More.”
With his next thrust, Bucky cried out.
Bucky took himself in a tight fist and stroked with each forceful, beautiful thrust.
As Bucky reached his fulfillment, Steve felt the spasms grip him. Bucky’s tightening channel stroked, pulled squeezed. Steve arched and rammed deep inside of Bucky, flooding his still spasming channel.
When his ears stopped ringing, Steve looked down at Bucky, who panted, trying to catch his breath.
“I adore you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too, babydoll.”
“I’m going to get to you over there. I swear it.”
Bucky’s blue-grey eyes met Steve’s. “I know, Stevie. I know. I don’t want you there. I don’t want you hurt, but I want you with me. It feels weird.”
Steve kissed Bucky again. “You know I’m with you, sweetheart. ’Til the end of the line.”
“Always. Always with you, Steve.”