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The sky was darker than it had been five minutes ago.
There had been no calls for storms today, but it wasn’t unusual for the occasional summer storm to sneak up on Makochi like a thief in the night. It wasn’t truly something Haruka cared about. It had been so long since he had been scared of storms. He just hoped that he would be inside when this storm broke. Last time a storm like this came, he had been stuck ten minutes from Tsubaki’s apartment and had arrived drenched and miserable. (Tsubaki had called him a drowned cat and he refused to acknowledge how he flushed when Kyotaro had wrapped him in his jacket as his clothes had become soaked.)
Kyotaro had asked for his help on the roof. When the sky had started to get dark, he had asked him to come help cover the plants. Even after he quit caring for the plants in the first year, after Umemiya’s graduation, someone had to care for the garden and Kyotaro had taken up the job.
It was odd to think that at one point Kyotaro wanted to give this up. As long as Haruka had known him, the garden had been his safe place and slowly, ever so slowly, the place had become their safe place.
He doesn’t remember how they fell into this routine they had now. He wasn’t even sure if he would consider what they had going on dating. Was it dating? He didn’t get the feeling that Tsubaki always talked about whenever she talked about Umemiya, nor did he feel that sense of longing Togame always talked about whenever he had been separated from Tomiyama, and he could never see himself pining the way Hiirgai had been pining over Kaji and the Shishitoren girl he had started dating.
He just appreciated Kyotaro - more than he appreciated his other friends, if that was something that could even be qualified.
Appreciating Kyotaro seemed to mean also appreciating how good he looked. As a first year, Haruka hadn’t liked how he never seemed to fit into his body. He was too tall, too long. He was slow and annoying. Now - it seemed as if he had grown, he had changed. He was still long, but no longer disproportionate. His permanent scowl turned into a soft expression most of the time. His long hair no longer made Haruka roll his eyes at how extra it seemed. Now he had the luxury of running his fingers through it whenever they were relaxing together.
Whatever this was between him and Kyotaro, he didn’t want to question it. He didn’t want to ruin it by asking about his feelings. This was fine.
He was making his way across the rooftop, towards Kyotaro - the watering can that he was tasked with obtaining in his off hand when the thunder started. The first crack was loud, forcing Haruka to freeze where he stood.
For a moment, he was taken back to a place that he had not been in years. Fear and panic flooded his body. He knew it was thunder, that was all it could be logically. But all his mind could think of was the sound of a gun and the fear that he felt at 6 years old.
The tomatoes were hanging on by a thread and that was pissing Kyotaro off.
When Umemiya-san had taken care of the garden, his plants had never looked that bad. He wondered what he was doing wrong, what Umemiya- san had done differently. Was it the soil? Was it the fertilizer? Did he not water the plants as much as they needed?
Gardening was something that was calming, but also a source of great stress for Kyotaro. He was glad he took this over. It helped him work through the emotions that had plagued him during much of his first and second year and now, as one of the Four Kings, it helped him think about the next steps in the community and how he could help.
He looked up to where Haruka was making his way across the roof. This routine they had was simple, but it worked and it had strengthened their relationship in ways that Kyotaro hadn’t really expected. Umemiya-san had said that that’s what would happen when they started working more closely together - and like usual, he was correct.
Haruka had grown into someone special to him. The hate that had been there in the beginning had fizzled out ever since the fights against Noroshi. They had grown closer, worked harder together.
For the first time in his life, Kyotaro had fallen for someone. He wasn’t quite sure why he had fallen so hard for Sakura Haruka of all people, but he couldn’t deny his feelings anymore.
Umemiya-san had wondered when he would confess, but it all felt rather meaningless. A confession wouldn’t do much in his case. He had barely seen Haruka give anyone a passing glance, much less interact with anyone in a romantic sense. He had his close group of friends and his Kings and for the most part, those two groups overlapped. He was glad that he had become trusted enough to become a King, but he wasn’t sure if he could ruin his friendship by confessing everything. So - he kept his feelings to himself and just hoped that one day, the words would come easier to him.
He stared at Haruka now as he brought the watering can back. It was essential to cover the new seedlings before the rainstorm. But before he could, he needed to give some of them some extra water. He had left his watering can on the other side of the roof earlier in the day and Haruka had been so kind to run across to the other side and grab it for him as he situated the tarp.
A crack of thunder caused both him and Haruka to freeze. It was loud, shaking Kyotaro to the core. It was a sign they needed to hurry. Before he could think about what to sign to Haruka to ask him to hurry up, he noticed how the teen was standing there frozen.
There was a unique look of terror on someone’s face when they were about to have a panic attack. Tsubaki-chan used to have them frequently when she had first started at Furin, and Kyotaro had watched Umemiya-san comfort her time and time again. But this wasn’t Tsubaki-chan, and he could never comfort Haruka as easily as Umemiya-san could.
He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should rush to Haruka’s side. It was normal for Neiri or Suo to be at his side during times like this. It wasn’t that he wasn’t welcome, but it wasn’t normally his place. He comforted Haruka in other ways - emotional comfort was never his forte.
But he had a choice to make.
In his first year, he would have just ignored the other teen and focused back on his work on the garden. Now, he even surprised himself by standing up and making his way to Haruka’s side.
Haruka was visibly trembling. The watering can had long been dropped and abandoned. He seemed to be lost in his head, silver and gold eyes looking at nothing and yet everything at the same time. He gently grabbed Haruka’s hand, squeezing softly. It was useless to try to talk in a situation like this. He doubted that Haruka would even be able to hear him.
Haruka looked at him, confused and still trembling slightly. Kyotaro placed his arm around his shoulders, walking him to the staircase.
The plants could wait, the storm could wait. Haruka needed him now.
Talking had always been hard for Kyotaro. When he was younger, his grandmother had said that he was just slow to speak. Yet - even now, he had never wanted to open his mouth and speak. He would say words here or there, when he needed people to listen to him. But everyone in his class had learned to sign and speak with him, only after Haruka had started to learn by himself. It was that simple gesture that made Kyotaro fall for him.
He helped Haruka sit down in the hallway, safe from the storm and the thunder. That was the only thing that Kyotaro could think of that could have triggered this type of reaction. He didn’t know much about Haruka’s past - nobody really did. But he knew the type of comfort that Haruka preferred.
Haruka had always loved his jacket. When they first had started this relationship of sorts, Haruka would always take a shirt to wear to bed or a jacket to walk home in. He wouldn’t say why, but Kyotaro had noticed how happy he seemed to be wrapped in his clothes. It wasn’t much - he wouldn’t be able to properly comfort him until they got back to his home - but it would do.
Haruka perked up slightly as the familiar jacket. He was still trembling, but that could only be dealt with by time and comfort.
He hated leaving his partner there, alone in a hallway, but chores had to be done.
Haruka was stuck in his head. It was a horrifying reality, to be forced to relive that day. That day things all went wrong, where he was shunned and outcast once again. The only memory in his mind was the sound of that stupid, wretched gun going off.
His heart was beating out of his chest. He didn’t understand it. They had been so kind to him, they had taken him in, they had told him he was going to be okay. He didn’t understand why they were shooting at him. Where had they gotten the gun? What had he done wrong? Why was this his fault? He didn’t even know what had gone wrong in the first place! How could this be his fault? He wasn’t sure why he had believed them. Adults like them lied all the time, they always lied to him. They told him that he was going to be safe in their family, that they were going to be a family. They always said that Haruka was welcome and every single time he was chased away, sent back to the streets. Maybe his aunt was correct. He was cursed. That was the only explanation. He was cursed so that nobody would love him. He wasn’t deserving. Nobody would love a mistake - a curse - like him.
A hand on his seemingly snapped him back to reality.
Whoever it was had strong hands. Hands that could hurt him, but some part of his brain knew that the person who was connected to these hands would never hurt him. Maybe at one point Haruka had considered whoever someone that couldn’t be trusted, but now, his brain screamed that he could trust this mysterious person.
The hands were rough, yet surprisingly gentle. Calluses covered the palms and Haruka knew he could trust the person holding his hand. Maybe that’s why he blindly followed him, head still spinning, but eyes finally focusing on the person who was dragging him somewhere.
Kyotaro.
It was Kyotaro.
Kyotaro who had rough yet gentle hands. Kyotaro who had calluses from hours of gardening and fighting. Kyotaro who was always so gentle with him.
He stumbled along, squeezing Kyotaro’s hand as a way of saying ‘thank you’. Words failed him. The idea of speaking made him feel ill. So he just stayed quiet, stumbling across the roof, following his partner, trusting him to get him to safety.
The hallway wasn’t Haruka’s first place that he would have considered, but it wasn’t outside. It wasn’t in the storm. It wasn’t where that sound could haunt him.
He truly didn’t know what had come over him. Storms never scared him. Storms had never reminded him of that night. Storms never forced him to freeze. They made him uncomfortable - sure. They made him bristle and want to hide away inside and not look at the rain or the lighting that lit up and split the sky. That was how he always dealt with it.
What was so different about this time? What had made him so uncomfortable? Was it the fact that he was with Kyotaro? Umemiya-san had once said that as he started to get closer to people, his walls would start to come down and he would be able to better communicate. He had thought that just meant his ability to fight and trust people. His ability to talk to his kings and talk to the community. He didn’t think a simple thunderclap would unblock a memory of the most horrid memory of his life.
He didn’t process sitting down, but he was immediately wrapped in a jacket. Kyotaro smelled comforting. There was a rich smell of soil and the coffee that he always had in the morning. Haruka didn’t know when he had noticed that about Kyotaro, but he didn’t seem surprised when the thought had appeared in his head.
The jacket was heavy on his shoulders, like one of the rare hugs he got from the other teen. It draped over him like a blanket and he noticed how he had seemingly calmed completely down. His heart was no longer beating out of his chest. His head was no longer reeling. His breathing had evened out. All because of a stupid jacket. A stupid jacket that was doing a better job than the weighted blanket Tsubaki had gotten him for situations like this. He pulled the jacket closer to his body, inhaling the scent that had become his comfort.
He wasn’t sure exactly when he had started to associate Kyotaro with comfort. It was usually Neiri or Suo that was comforting (or at least as comforting as Suo could be). But ever since first year, Neiri had been the one that had sat with him during his panic attacks or his PTSD flashbacks. It had always been Neiri, but there was a moment - there had to be a moment when Kyotaro became the most comforting person that Haruka could have.
He wasn’t sure if this was love. He wasn’t sure if he was capable of feeling something like that. But this felt like love. This felt like the warmth and comfort that he had heard about with Tsubaki and Umemiya. He wasn’t sure if he was in love, but he knew what he was feeling was love. He was in love with the man that wrapped him in a jacket and dragged him to safety from a storm. And he wasn’t sure what to think of that.
Another clap of thunder sounded, making Haruka curl tighter into a ball, pulling Kyotaro’s jacket tighter against his frame. He wanted his partner back by his side. He wanted to go back home or go back to Kyotaro’s home. He wanted to go somewhere and be safe. He didn’t want to have another panic attack at the school.
The door to the roof banged open as Kyotaro seemingly fought against a strong wind. Haruka looked up at him with wide eyes, breathing picking up slightly. But he was immediately comforted by the fact that the other teen gave him a small smile. He hadn’t meant to scare him.
Kyotaro sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his side. Despite his normally rough exterior, Haruka had learned that Kyotaro was surprisingly gentle when he wanted to be. He assumed this was one of those moments.
His body was so warm, a comforting presence against the storm that was Haruka’s mind and the storm that waited for them outside.
He wondered how long they would wait here. Would they wait out the storm? He couldn’t stand the thought of waiting out the storm here. What if someone were to come here and see them like this?
He wasn’t used to being this open about his emotions and he wasn’t sure how exactly he would explain it to someone if they just walked in. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to. This moment felt almost sacred - like if anyone else was here, this moment would lose all meaning. Even the thought of someone even knowing of this moment made Haruka’s mood spoil slightly. He wanted this moment to stay like this.
“Do you want to try to go home?” It was weird to hear Kyotaro’s voice. Ever since their first year, Haruka had just accepted that Kyotaro didn’t talk much. As their time at Furin grew on, he was surprised when Kyotaro actually started to speak more than a few mumbled words here and there. He wondered why the other hadn’t decided to sign, but he treasured hearing the words.
He couldn’t find himself able to speak, words getting caught in his throat as he tried to think of a response. He didn’t want to go back to his apartment - just to be alone to deal with this storm and the reality of Kyotaro’s actions to weigh heavily on his soul. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to be without Kyotaro.
So - he shook his head.
Home wasn’t an option.
The silence overtook them again. The wind was starting to howl outside and he could still feel the thunder that shook the building at its core.
He pressed himself closer to Kyotaro, hoping his warmth could chase away the storm. There was a steady beat ringing in his head. Was that his heart? It was faster than he thought it should be.
“Would you like to go to my home,” Kyotaro asked, placing a hand on his head. Haruka could count on one hand the amount of times he had been welcomed into the Sugishita household. It wasn’t that he wasn’t welcome - Granny Sugishita had made it well known that he was welcome whenever he needed a place to hang out. But the idea of going to Kyotaro’s house seemed more intimate this time.
The paranoid part of his brain told him that Kyotaro wanted to take advantage of him while he was vulnerable like this, but the rational part of him - the side that knew Kyotaro, the side that trusted Kyotaro - knew that this was just for comfort. His house would be warm and comforting. His house would have food.
But most importantly - if he went with Kyotaro, he would be able to have comfort that he longed for in a time like this. He wanted to be comforted. He wanted to stay this close to Kyotaro and never leave.
This was love, he was so sure about it now.
He was in love with Kyotaro.
It wasn’t something that he wanted to think about now. He couldn’t afford to get flustered now of all times when he wasn’t quite sure what Kyotaro would think. He was just going to have to accept the fact that he was in love - even if it was something that he never expected for himself.
“Haruka?” Kyotaro’s voice broke through his thoughts, much like the thunderclap from earlier and Haruka had realized that the other teen had been waiting for an answer.
“Yeah-” His voice was quiet. He coughed slightly. “Yeah - let’s go to your house.”
He would deny the way he slightly whimpered when Kyotaro stood up, the warmth of his body leaving Haruka’s side and the coolness of the staircase became suffocating. If he listened closely, he could still hear the wind howling and the rain hitting the side of the building. He hadn’t heard any thunder since the initial crack that had scared him, but he was starting to wonder if he paid attention to anything other than how Kyotaro’s body felt pressed against him and the way his heart was beating rapidly in his ears.
Though - he didn’t have a reason to be scared anymore. Kyotaro came to his rescue when he needed him - all without a word spoken between the two of them. Kyotaro just knew - just understood him in a way that others struggled to get - and that was a relief.
When he became head of Bofurin, he feared the weight that he would carry on his shoulders. Umemiya-san always seemed so stressed - so worried about the future of the school and how his changes would impact everyone. And for a while he felt that stress, that weight that seemed to drag him down. But his kings had lifted him up, helped him share his burden and now, even more so than before, he understood why Umemiya-san leaned on someone like Tsubaki. Because if this is how life felt when he had someone to lean on, someone as supportive, as loving, as caring as Kyotaro, he never wanted to go back to life about it.
Kyotaro helped him stand up. His hands were so warm, just like the rest of his body. His knees and hips ached, maybe from the change in the weather or from sparring earlier in the day, but it wasn’t bad enough that he would have to rest. Maybe tomorrow he could convince Kyotaro to stay in bed with him all day.
He felt his face flush slightly. He had just realized that he was in love with Kyotaro and he was already planning a lazy day in bed. Granted - it wasn’t the first time that they had done something similar, but this could mean more. This could be more if they were both ready.
Haruka’s hand was so cold. Maybe it was from the chill that has seeped in from his brief moment in the rain or how the door didn’t seem to fully shut. It always seemed that he was colder than others; now was no exception.
In their moment, sitting on the floor, he had realized how small Haruka was. He wasn’t weak, he had never been weak. But he was still smaller than he had really expected. Maybe it was how Haruka had cowered away from the storm like a toddler would. He knew that his partner was scared of storms; it was kind of common knowledge amongst the Kings and their class. He always seemed to care for himself during storms, even if it meant holing away somewhere after stealing Kyotaro’s jacket.
Their moment in the stairs had been a moment of rare vulnerability, of closeness.
He smiled to himself as Haruka led him down the stairs towards the front entrance. They would have to make a run for it and while, technically, Haruka’s apartment was closer - Kyotaro was glad that he wanted to go to his house. It wasn’t that Haruka’s apartment was that bad. If he had really wanted to go home, Kyotaro would have followed him, but he was glad that they got to enjoy the comfort of a warm home that wasn’t as run down.
“Do you want to make a break for it?” Haruka’s face scrunched up as he saw how hard the rain was coming down outside.
“We can change once we get back to my place.” Kyotaro replied with a small shrug. “Better to get back home now then be stuck here all night.” There was no promise that the storm would break anytime soon.
He didn’t have to see Haruka’s face to see how his eyes rolled at the thought of running through the rain. Before he opened the door to the downpour, he turned to give him a small determined style.
“Want to race?”
The Sugishita household was always warm and cozy. Haruka was relaxing on the couch, a large quilt thrown wrapped loosely around him and wearing Kyotaro’s clothing made him feel warmer than the shower did. He had won their little impromptu race, awarding him with a kiss and first dibs in the shower.
So, now he was just waiting for Kyotaro to get out of his shower and then they would be able to watch a movie that Kyiru had been talking about for weeks now. He was still slightly embarrassed that he had cried, that he had had a panic attack over something so dumb as a thunderclap.
When the thunder had cracked through the sky when they were running back home, he didn’t feel fear. No, he felt safe, knowing that Kyotaro had his back. He had always had his back. Haruka wondered why that was even a doubt in his mind. They didn’t need words to describe their relationship. This was perfectly them and it was the first time that Haruka was truly happy. It was a different happiness than what he was used to, but he was still happy.
Haruka wasn’t really paying attention, finally letting his body relax since his panic attack. So, maybe that was why he was so shocked when Kyotaro scooped him up in his arms so that he could sit down. He placed a small kiss on Haruka’s forehead as he laughed.
They were squeezed onto the couch. It would have been uncomfortable if it was anyone else, but this was comforting. He rested his head against Kyotaro’s chest, listening to that steady and strong heartbeat. No words were spoken as Kyotaro started the movie. No words were needed to say what Haruka actually felt.
He was so lucky to have a partner like Kyotaro.