Chapter Text

The scorpion and the frog

A frog was hopping along the shore of a river looking for a place to cross.

He came upon a scorpion sitting on the shore.

“Hello, friend frog,” said the scorpion. “It appears you are looking to cross the river. I too want to cross. Would you mind carrying me?”

The frog was taken aback. “Why, if I let you on my back to cross the river, you’d sting me and I would die. I don’t think I’ll do that.”

The scorpion immediately replied, “There is no logic to your concern. If I sting you and you die, I will surely die as well, since I can’t swim. I wouldn’t need a ride if I could swim.”

The frog thought a moment and then said, “Your logic makes sense. Why would you kill me if it would result in your death? Come along and climb on my back and we’ll cross this river.”

The scorpion climbed on the frog’s back and off they went to cross the river.

About halfway across the river, the scorpion raised its tail and stung the frog. The frog was both astounded and disconsolate.

“Why did you sting me? Now I will die and you will surely drown and die also.”

The scorpion replied, “I can’t help it. It’s who I am. It’s in my nature.”

I.

-Do you want to tell me what the word "concubine" means, now?

Jod ran a hand over his face as if to hide the sight of the angry little girl huddled on the captain's bed.

-No.

The girl did not give up masking, as usual, her fear with bravado.

-You told 33 that I was your concubine, it pushed me here and told me to undress. So, am I or am I not one of these concubines?

The pirate groaned and finally met his prisoner's gaze, valiantly trying to look only at her face and not to allow his eyes to go down, where the dusty and mouldy blanket framed a pair of pale and bony shoulders.

-33 doesn't recognize you as crew so I couldn't have you detained on mutiny charges. If I had catalogued you as a stowaway, 33 would have dumped you in the airlock. The ship has no cells to hold prisoners and I was afraid it would decide to terminate you. Concubine seemed to me the safest classification for you.

The expression of the girl, already belligerent, grew even darker.

-And why did I have to undress?

-Because that's what concubines do, it's... complicated.

-Make it simple.

At her growl, the captain became angry. He was trying to do the right thing, he was trying to save her life and she was not only ungrateful but she even seemed to reject his attempts to act like a decent human being.

-You don't want to know what a concubine does. Get dressed, you're not here for that.

Yes, that. Jod swallowed and stared out of the windows. He was not that kind of man. He wasn't! Those lips had been tempting him for days. He had noticed her immediately: pretty and strong-willed but too damn young. He was not that kind of man. He was a liar, a thief and a murderer but he did not steal the innocence of little girls. It was just that it had been a long time since he had relaxed with a woman. The last time he had gone to the harbour brothel with the rest of the crew and retired upstairs with a woman under his right arm and a handsome boy under his left arm. The last time they had found a rich loot on a merchant ship. Too long and now she was practically naked, in the bed he had claimed as his. If she had been ten years older... Even five.

-How old are you, exactly?

In asking her that question, he made the mistake of turning. Fern had thrown aside the blanket that she had been wrapped in and was putting back on the pants she had thrown on the floor with her other clothes. She had small breasts with rosy nipples. White skin with no marks, no scars, no bruises. Her loose hair caressed her breasts as she hopped to tuck her other leg into her pants, pulled them and buttoned them up. Thanks to hell she had at least had her underwear on. Jod didn't know what he would have done if she had stood in front of him completely naked.

His mouth dried worse than the Jaheda desert, and a high-pitched squeak-like cry came out of his throat.

-What are you doing?

He cried out in despair and she paused to look at him, a questioning expression on her beautiful face.

-Getting dressed? As you said?

-I didn't think you would do it in front of me!

This sentence, thundered with indignation, filled Fern's expression with puzzlement.

-Why shouldn't I be getting dressed in front of you?

Jod couldn't tell if it was innocence or stupidity. If it was innocence, then the level of protection she had enjoyed had been truly incredible. And very unlikely. He toyed for a fleeting moment with the idea that she was doing it on purpose, that she knew the effect it had on him to see her like that, but Fern was too direct, too young to even consider the hypothesis that she was trying to seduce him.

-Do you have no shame, girl?

She brought her hands to her hips, unknowingly showing off the little breasts she had.

-Of course I do!

-It doesn't look like it…

The man continued through clenched teeth, his gaze darting downwards and then returning to focus, with some effort, on her face.

-…since you have no problem showing yourself naked in front of everyone!

-Everyone who?

She replied incredulously.

-It's just you, here!

-Exactly!

Jod yelled again, unknowingly taking one step forward and then another, until he was within a meter of her, using the height difference to his advantage and scolding her as he towered over her.

-And who am I? Nobody? I am a man! You shouldn't show yourself naked to a man!

-But you're an adult...

She replied, still unable to follow his argument.

-You are an adult and so what does it matter to you?

He let out a strangled sound, finally giving in to the temptation to touch her. He put his hands on her shoulders and shook her.

-Precisely because I'm an adult man you shouldn't do it! Don't you realize how ... inappropriate it is?

She opened her mouth wide in surprise, trying to shrug his hands off her shoulders but Jod tightened his grip, bringing her even closer, making their chests touch and forcing her to bend her neck to continue looking at his face.

-Inappropriate and dangerous.

He continued with a whisper and time seemed to stand still. Now Fern's eyes filled with a vague fear, but still she was not afraid, Jod noticed angrily. She did not fear him, she did not seem to realize the trouble she had gotten herself into, the danger she was running by showing herself like that to a man older and stronger than herself, a man with very few scruples and many crimes on his conscience. His right hand went up from the girl's bare shoulder, his fingers catching a lock of fine hair. The palm of his hand covered the width of her neck, his fingers curled at the nape of her neck, and his thumb brushed against her chin, rising to her lips.

Jod swallowed, suddenly realizing that he had unconsciously made a decision: he was touching her and by the Abyss, now that they were there, that she was so close and that his hands were firmly resting on her bare skin, he would allow himself to kiss her. A kiss, just one, he promised himself, and then he would stop. He would stole a kiss.

He touched her lips that parted under the pressure of his finger. Fern was still frowning, puzzled, when Jod bent his face and guided hers to his, meeting her halfway and resting his lips on hers.

She immediately stiffened in his arms and instinctively tried to retreat but he squeezed the hand with which he held her by the nape of the neck, preventing her from escaping him and pressed the other hand against her bare back, forcing her to remain close to him. Fern tried to protest against his lips and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sticking his tongue in her mouth. At that point Fern screamed and began to wriggle, pushing against his chest and when he didn't let go she began to hit him and finally scratched his face.

Feeling her nails sink into his cheek, Jod finally detached his face from hers and Fern took the opportunity to scream.

-What are you doing? Let me go, let me go!

He looked at her. Her face was red, her eyes dilated with fear, that fear that Jod had wanted to see before but that now made him feel disgusted with himself. Not enough to stop, though.

He pushed her towards the bed and she lost her balance, falling back on the blankets. Jod followed, imprisoning her wrists with his hands and pushing them against the mattress. He lay on top of her, inserting a knee between her legs, and as he leaned on her, lining up their bodies, he knew he wasn't going to go all the way. He was still excited and the girl, struggling under him and pushing her pelvis against his to try to shake him off, only inflamed his passion, but Jod realized how painfully small she was, a prisoner crushed under his weight, only a little older than a child. Small, petite and fragile, sobbing without restraint.

-Shhh.

He tried to console her.

-Stop now, don't cry. Be... be still damn it! No, no, I didn't mean to scream. I...

He squeezed her wrists tightly.

-If you stop thrashing about, I'll let you go.

Fern continued to tremble and looked him in the eyes with a terrified expression but stopped moving, even though he could feel how tense she was, ready to fight. Slowly, one finger at a time, he let go of her wrists.

-I won't do anything, okay? I won't... I will not finish what we started.

-What you started, you disgusting pervert.

She hissed at him. A part of Jod was relieved, for a moment he considered the alternative: that she would be so traumatized by his aggression that she would remain trembling and mute under him. It would have broken his heart.

-You're right, what I started.

He slowly placed his hands next to her head and pushed, lifting himself up and then rolling away from her. Fern took the opportunity to roll in the opposite direction, getting as far away from him as possible and covering her breasts with her arms.

-Finish getting dressed.

He commanded in a low voice and turned his back to her while she obeyed him. Then he heard her footsteps quickly move away from him and towards the door of the cabin. He turned abruptly and sprinted after her, grabbing her by the hair and tugging her backwards. She screamed and he put his arm around her neck, taking her breath away and holding her close to him.

-What do you think you are doing?

He growled in her ear and then turned her around, pushing her back into the cabin and to the bed. Fern planted her feet in the center of the room, raising her clenched fists and baring her teeth menacingly.

-What do you think you are doing?

She screeched in a high-pitched voice. She was pale and Jod could clearly see the fear still painted on her face.

-You touched me, you kissed me. Are you crazy? I'm just a child!

Jod snorted and then lowered his gaze down her body, lingering on her breasts and hips.

-You don't have the body of a child.

-I'm twelve years old!

Fern screamed and Jod blinked in bewilderment.

-I thought you were older.

He replied in a faint voice, then covered his face with his hands.

-Ok, twelve. Damnit. Damnit to the Abyss!

He kicked the wall. Fern jumped and stepped to the side, approaching the window without approaching the bed.

-I’m... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...

Jod admitted. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. He had no words. He knew what he was doing was wrong the moment he laid his hands on her. He had continued knowing full well that it was a mistake. Yet he had done it anyway. Because he had wanted to touch her, he had wanted to kiss her, he had wanted to undress her and take her on that bed. He had stopped because he had never forced a woman. So he was not repentant, not really, and consequently any request for forgiveness would have been false.

He approached her slowly and she retreated until she reached the wall.

-Shhh, don't worry.

He tried to cajole her but when he leaned forward to touch her, she slapped his hand away and let out a pathetic, frightened sound.

-I won’t do anything. I swear to you.

Jod whispered, taking her wrists and pulling her to him, imprisoning her against his chest in an embrace and stroking her hair, still loose, in a comforting way.

-See? I just wanted to hug you.

She was still breathing heavily, frightened, but as the minutes passed with Jod doing nothing but hugging her and stroking her hair, she calmed down.

-There.

He took her head in his hands and turned it upwards, meeting her gaze.

-See? I’m not hurting you.

He wanted to kiss her again but didn't want to incite more panic, so he just brushed her forehead with his lips.

- I let myself be carried away, before. Don’t... Don't strip naked in front of anyone, if you can avoid it, especially in front of a man. You're a very attractive girl Fern, and I'm just a man. Don't tempt me like that.

-I don't understand.

Fern admitted in a weak tone of voice. The brave and resolute girl Jod had met seemed to have disappeared. She was trembling and her eyes were shining with tears.

-How can I tempt you? Whatever for?

Jod caught a tear with his thumb.

-You are really beautiful. You...

He laughed at himself. Oh, the irony!

-You're the kind of girl I'm attracted to. Beautiful, strong, dangerous. Only you're definitely too young. Usually my women are much more mature. Women, not girls. I don't think I've ever kissed a twelve-year-old, not even when I was twelve.

At the age of twelve, he was under the wing of his teacher. Jod didn't want to think about what he had done before he met her to survive, who he had been forced to kiss just to eat and to have protection.

-I told SM-33 that you are my concubine. A concubine is a woman who shares the captain's bed and satisfies his every desire. Do you know what I mean? I bet you don’t.

Fern, on the other hand, had widened her eyes and opened her mouth wide and Jod realized that she did understand. He smiled.

-But maybe you do.

Fern let out a small whimper and tried to free herself from his hands but she had no more room to move, imprisoned between the metal wall and Jod's body.

-The captain's concubine makes love with the captain. I am the captain and you are my concubine.

Fern began to tremble and breathe quickly again, panicking.

-Fern! Calm down, calm down! I won't have sex with you. Calm down!

Fortunately, she calmed down.

-Really? Do you promise?

Then she seemed to recover some of her fighting spirit because her expression hardened.

-Because right now, you seemed determined to do it!

Jod put on a guilty expression.

-I wouldn't have done it. I wanted to, but I wouldn't have done it, not without your consent.

-You will never have my consent!

Fern promptly replied.

-Never? We'll see... There are many things I can do, without going all the way. A lot of pleasant things, Fern. Pleasant for both of us.

She shook her head frantically.

-No, no, no, no...

-Not for now.

Jod conceded. He took a step back.

-But you remain my concubine. You’ll sleep here with me from now on.

-No!

-Yes!

Jod thundered, raising his voice again and making her jump.

-It would be strange if my concubine did not share my bed. You sleep here, with me, but we stay dressed. You on your side of the bed, I on mine. Understood?

She shook her head again.

-Understood?

Jod screamed and she nodded as tears ran down her cheeks.

-Good. Now we continue towards At Attin.

-No!

She replied, approaching and holding on to his shirt with both hands.

-My friends! They are still on Lanupa. Please... We have to go back to get them!

Jod looked down, where her fists were clenched around the fabric of his shirt. After what she had been through, it was surprising that she was touching him of her own free will. He had no desire to go back and retrieve the other three pests but suddenly he realized that he had something she wanted, something that was of enormous value to her and for which perhaps she was willing to bargain.

-I could go back for them...

Jod admitted slowly.

-But in return, what are you ready to give me?

She inhaled loudly and her grip on him loosened.

-Give you something? Going back is the right thing to do!

Jod shook his head and met her gaze.

-Not from my point of view. I have everything I want, here, on this ship.

He looked at her intensely and she swallowed, realizing that he was referring to her. Then she closed her eyes, lowering her head, defeated.

-What do you want?

She asked him, in a faint voice. He put a finger under her chin, lifting her face again.

-Not what you fear. I want you. I want you to give me a chance. To trust me. To obey me.

-I don't want... I don't want to do... Don't force me please...

-No, Fern, no. Look at me.

She looked at him and Jod shook his head.

-You're really too small for that. I don't want to hurt you.

She sighed.

-So, what do you want?

-I have already told you. I want you. I want you to obey me, to stay by my side, to let yourself be touched by me. I won't force you to go any further.

He caressed her cheek and brushed her lips with his fingertips.

-A few kisses, perhaps. They can be pleasant, you know? Give me the opportunity to do something that you can enjoy too. Stay with me, be mine, and I will save your friends.

Fern sobbed and nodded, covering her face with her hands. He kissed her head.

-You won't regret it, you'll see. I'm not bad. I won't make you do anything you don't want to...

Jod was going to do many things that she would not want to do, he was lying to try to calm her down, but among all the lies he had told her, one thing he had been sincere about: he would not rape her. Twelve years old was too young, he knew the damage that such a thing could cause and he would not do that to her. He was going to take everything he could, pushing her to the limit, but he wasn’t going to rape her.

-Stay in this cabin. It is my first order and I expect you to obey me. Don't came out until I’m back to pick you up. We will save your friends together. Don't forget what you promised me: I want you obedient and docile. Do what I tell you and your friends will be saved. Go back on your word...

-I won't.

Fern hastened to promise.

-Good.

Jod whispered and then left his cabin and hurried to the cockpit to reverse the course and return to Lanupa.

Fern had obeyed Jod, pacing up and down the room, trying to avoid looking at the bed where she had promised to sleep with him. However, every time it entered her field of vision, she felt a tightness in her stomach and nauseous. She didn't want to do what Jod wanted but she had to obey until her friends were safe. She was terrified of what he would ask of her: the way he had touched her, the way he had kissed her... It had been disgusting. It wasn't fair, he was an adult and she was a child, an adult shouldn't have behaved like that, that’s why she had had no problem being seen by him without clothes, she believed adults to be safe. And instead he had contradicted her, he had told her that it was adult men who were the most dangerous. She didn't know what to think, she didn't know who to believe to and who to trust, she wanted her friends, she wanted to go home, she wanted her mother. She jumped in fright when Jod returned. He stood in the doorway and motioned for her to join him.

-We landed on Lanupa. Your friends are standing right out of the ship.

He put an arm over her shoulders, squeezing her against his hip and when she tried to shake his arm off he hissed angrily.

-Are you already changing your mind about what you promised me? I could still leave, you know?

She stiffened and let herself be hold by him.

-Forgive me... I have to get used to it.

At the ramp, SM-33 was waiting for them and together they watched the three children from At Attin getting on board. They were dirty and cold. Night had fallen on Lanupa and the three were not dressed warm enough to survive it. Jod watched them climb with hard eyes and a sharp smile.

-Look at who is try to get on board... Three small stowaways.

The droid came forward menacingly, but Jod stopped it.

-Wait droid. Let's see if these three slackers are willing to gain access to my ship by enlisting and doing honest work.

-This is our ship and you stole it from us!

Win was shivering for the cold but his voice was firm and angry.

-Well, now the Onyx Cinder is my ship. I am the captain, I decide who gets on board and who stays outside, to die in the cold.

The three children looked at him speechless. Only the other girl shifted her gaze from him to Fern, clutched under his arm, silent and docile.

-Are we allowed to come on board, captain?

She asked, proving to be the smartest of the three.

-It depends. Are you willing to join my crew? I’m in need of a mechanic.

She nodded and he waved her up. KB didn't need to be told twice and walked to her friend. Jod let her go, allowing the two to reunite.

-Can I enlist too?

The second to give in was Neel, with a violent sneeze and trembling in his overalls. Jod motioned to him to come up, too.

-You will be my co-pilot.

Only Wim was left staring at him stubbornly and frowning.

-Come on Wim, ask him to enlist you. You are the only one still standing outside.

His little blue friend begged him.

-Come on Wim.

KB said. She has stopped shaking, close to the inside of the ship where it was warmer.

-Do you have an assignment for me too?

The boy asked, gnashing his teeth angrily. For a moment Jod toyed with the idea of abandoning him to die, but he was not so heartless. The boy was furious and felt betrayed but he was confident he would be able to change his mind.

-Get on board, Wim. You will be assigned to the cannons.

All the children had a designation and were part of his crew. It was nice to have a crew again and he was sure that they would, in time, became a resource.

He led them back to the cockpit, but first he grabbed Fern by the arm, separating her from the others.

-I contacted my old crew. Some of them are still loyal to me, and I will soon overthrow Brutus, resuming command of my frigate.

He informed them.

-Your old crew? Which frigate?

Little Neel asked.

-The pirates who attacked Lanupa as we fled, once took orders from me.

-You're a pirate!

The boy accused him, clenching his fists.

-I thought you already knew that.

Jod replied ironically.

-And now you are one, too.

At that statement the children fell silent.

-We will reunite with my men and then... I'll take you home, on At Attin. I expect to be rewarded handsomely, that your people will cover me with gold.

He continued gloomily. He couldn't tell them that he planned to attack their planet and rob them of everything they owned.

-Then, if you want, you can stay with me or go back to your boring life.

Their life would never be boring again, not after his frigate had occupied At Attin and he had installed himself as the leader of their community. He could easily imagine it: an inexhaustible source of credits. He would no longer have to fight for crumbs, boarding merchant ships and rob the penniless.

-Obviously I don't expect you to help me reconquer my ship. You are children, my men would never stop laughing if I attacked them with brats in tow. You will stay on the Onyx Cinder, guarded by 33. Be good and quiet. I must warn you that if you try to take command of this ship, SM-33 is authorized to terminate you as mutineers.

Fortunately, no one dared to say a thing. He sent them to their bunks, and only when he left them, dragging Fern away, did the other girl protest loudly.

-Hold on! Where are you taking her?

At her question, the two males also turned to look at him, with puzzled expressions.

-Fern stays with me.

Jod replied.

-We have already agreed on what she will do for me. You know? You should be grateful to her. I was about to leave you on Lanupa but she insisted that I come back to pick you up and enlist you. You would probably have frozen to death if she hadn't been convincing and promised me something very substantial in exchange for your safety.

KB turned to her friend, who had not said anything until then, which was very strange for her, and had kept her gaze fixed on the ground, pale and frightened.

-Fern... What did you promise him?

Jod looked down at his concubine, curious to hear the answer.

-I promised...

She was at a loss for words. She bit her lip and closed her eyes.

-Does it matter?

She asked in a desperate tone.

-It worked, didn't it? You are here, you are safe.

-Good!

Jod interrupted her.

-Fern and I are going to retire. Rest, get warm. Tomorrow I will be reunited with my crew. It will be a busy day: I will challenge Brutus for control of the frigate. Pray that I win because if I lose it will be very bad for you. Remember: you can trust me and you can trust him to want you dead.

With these last words he left them, leading his girl to their bedroom. She began to drag her feet and try to slow down.

-Don't even try it.

He threatened her.

-For now, I'm in a good mood but you don't want to see me angry. You promised to obey me, you promised that I could do whatever I wanted to you and I...

He reached the cabin and pushed her inside, closing the door behind him.

-I promised you in return that I would not take you.

He spread his arms, trying to appear harmless.

-I meant what I told your friends. Tomorrow will be a busy day. It is better if I rest and recover my strength. Brutus is a skilled and fierce warrior and it will not be easy to beat him. In fact, it would be impossible if I didn't have... an ace up my sleeve.

He took off his coat and used the Force to make it float to a chair.

-Take off your shoes and jacket.

He advanced towards her, taking off one boot and then the other. She backed away until she fell sitting on the bed and got up suddenly, bumping into his chest.

-Calm down little one.

He whispered to her. She was scared. He placed his hands on her tense shoulders.

-Shhh.

A sob escaped her.

-I already told you that I won’t... Listen. You are beautiful but you are also too young. I just want to hold you close to me, under the sheets. Really.

He kissed her forehead, cheeks, and then lips.

-A few kisses, a few caresses. Nothing painful. I promise.

He took off his belt and threw it over his coat.

-Under the sheets now, come on...

He took off her jacket and knelt in front of her, helping her out of her boots. Then he pushed her onto the bed and underneath the sheets. He joined her, covering them both. The sheets smelled of dust and mould but he had slept in worse places. He clutched Fern's stiff but deliciously warm and soft body close to him.

-Please...

She whispered, terrified.

-Please, don't hurt me.

-I won't hurt you.

He promised her for the umpteenth time and then kissed her. At first slowly then with his tongue, ignoring her whimpers of protest. She wasn’t participating in the kiss and tried to move her head away.

-Stop it now.

He ordered her in a stern tone.

-You promised. Remember.

He took her by the chin and the kiss he gave her was no longer so tender.

-It can be beautiful.

He tried to convince her, in an almost desperate tone.

-Try to relax!

Jod restrained himself, with some effort, softening the kiss and caressing her back, trying to calm her down. He went on kissing her for many minutes, until she began to relax. But she still did not respond to his kisses, limiting herself to lying motionless under him who in the meantime had rolled on top of her. He was painfully aroused, but fortunately their difference in height meant that that part of his anatomy was pressed against the mattress and not against the joint between her legs, where he had inserted himself.

If he didn't find relief, he wouldn't be able to fall asleep, he knew this from experience but he felt it would be too traumatizing for her to force her to pleasure him or watch him pleasuring himself. Instructive but ultimately counterproductive: she would only became even more scared. With one last kiss he moved away from her, reluctantly.

-I’ll go to the bathroom. Stay there and try to sleep. If you're already asleep when I come back, I won't wake you up.

He was sure that she was going to pretend to be asleep, at least to escape him that night. He entered the bathroom and leaned with his back to the door, opening his pants and taking himself in hand with a moan of relief. He began to yank at himself, thinking of the girl lying in his bed on the other side of the door. He imagined that he was a man with fewer scruples, of stripping her naked and pushing himself into her, sinking into that flesh that had never known the touch of any man. He couldn't even get to the end of his fantasy that he erupted in a stream of white liquid. He took a dirt handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned himself as best he could. Making as little noise as possible, he went back to the bedroom and slipped into bed. As he had imagined, Fern had turned on her side, with her back to him and was pretending to be asleep. She trembled and held her breath when he put his arm around her waist and pulled her against him, burying his face in her neck. He sighed contentedly and relaxed his muscles, preparing for a pleasant night of peaceful dreams.

As anticipated, Jod rejoined his frigate. Through the communicator he exchanged with his former first officer a truly impressive sequence of insults that culminated in a challenge to death. Brutus laughed so hard that it took him a long time to catch his breath enough to accept. Jod parked the ship inside the frigate's hangar and ordered the children to stay inside, along with SM-33. Then with bold steps he descended the ramp, meeting the pirates who had betrayed him. The four from At Attin saw nothing of the duel. Fern tried to convince the droid to escape with them but SM-33 was adamant. In the end all she got was the promise to recognize her as captain in case Jod died and only then would it sit at the controls and take them away from there.

Fern prayed that Jod would die. The night before and the following morning had been horrible: he had kept his word and nothing he had done to her had been painful but it had still been humiliating and frightening. The first kiss he'd given her had been bearable, almost as pleasant as he'd said, but then he'd stuck his tongue in her mouth and it had been disgusting. His saliva had mixed with Fern's and for hours she had had his taste in her mouth. Before falling asleep he had held her under the covers, making their bodies line up and had wrapped her in his arms. Fern had spent the whole night surrounded by him, by his smell, with his taste in her mouth. She wanted to cry again but she was afraid of waking him up and that he would start again. When he woke up in the morning it had been worse. She had felt something hard pressed against her buttocks and then he had whispered to her to be quiet, that he wasn’t going to do anything to her and had begun to push that hard thing rhythmically against her, panting and moaning. He had squeezed her tightly, driving his fingers in the flash of her side and with the other hand he had grabbed her breasts through her shirt. She almost screamed, but he stiffened and then relaxed, letting her go and finally retiring back to the bathroom.

KB had tried to get her to tell her where she had spent the night and what she had promised Jod but Fern had absolutely not wanted to talk about it.

After a long wait, however, it was not Jod who climbed the ramp of their ship but a woman wearing armour.

-Captain Silvo has sent me to fetch you. Children?

She called them from the entrance of the ship, without getting on completely. The four kids stepped forward, followed by the droid.

-Who is Captain Silvo?

Wim asked. The woman raised an eyebrow.

-The one who came with you. He killed Brutus and regained control of the Libertas. He sent me to get you. Follow me. The captain is in the infirmary.

-Is he injured?

Fern asked, going down the ramp first, followed closely by the other three and the droid.

-Is it serious?

She asked full of hope. The woman looked at her strangely.

-No. Brutus stabbed him but it is not serious, he did not hit any vital organ. He will be back on his feet in a few hours. They are applying bacta to him right now. I am Koma and you?

The four introduced themselves as the pirate, Koma, reached the infirmary. Jod was already on his feet, a shirt in hand. They could see the bandages wrapped around his bare torso, full of scars and bruises. His face was also full of scratches and one eye was black and swollen.

-Ah, here you are. Good, good, Koma! These children are special. They found the Onyx Cinder, the ship belonging to the infamous Tak Rennod. Can you believe it?

Koma turned to look at them with a sudden, surprised movement.

-Are you telling me that the scrap of metal you arrived on is the Onyx Cinder?

She asked doubtfully and Jod nodded enthusiastically.

-His droid led me to his treasure. It’s in Lanupa, I saw with my own eyes the gold he accumulated. Lanupa will be our first stop. First Rennod's lair and then... At Attin.

Jod pronounced the name of their planet as if it were something particularly succulent. Koma inhaled loudly.

-At Attin? It’s a myth, it doesn’t exist.

-Yes, it does!

Jod replied, putting on his shirt with a groan of pain.

-These children are from At Attin. They graciously agreed to join the crew. We need some new blood, don't you think? Young arms, agile minds and above all someone who will think twice before betraying me. When you take them to their bunks, I want you to give them a tour of the gallery first. I want them to see what happens to mutineers.

The last words had been said with anger and almost growled. The corpses of Brutus and his accomplices had been displayed where everybody could see them, as a warning to those who dared to challenge him. They would stay there until they started to smell, then they would be dumped with the garbage.

Koma nodded. Jod had always liked Koma: she had a good head on her shoulders, she knew when it was time to keep a low profile and when to side with the winner. She hadn't lifted a finger when Brutus had mutinied, it was true, but she hadn't actively acted against him either, supporting him in his fight to the death against his traitorous first officer. They had also often gotten drunk together and had even gone to women together. Now she pushed the four children out of the infirmary, but Jod stopped her.

-Not Fern. She stays.

The little girl with the braid froze.

-Captain? Don't you want me to show her where she will sleep too?

-No need.

He replied, stepping forward and placing a heavy hand on the girl's shoulder.

-Fern is my new concubine. She’ll sleep with me.

Koma felt her mouth go dry. She looked, still without understanding, at the little girl who did not even reach the shoulder of her captain, who seemed to be trying to disappear into herself, her gaze downcast and terrified.

-Captain?

She asked him again. Silvo became irritated.

-What don't you understand, Koma? She is my concubine. She sleeps with me. Now take the three brats away.

He made a peremptory gesture with his hand, to chase them away from his sight and Koma pushed the other girl into the corridor, followed by the two boys.

-What is a concubine?

The white-haired girl asked in an alarmed tone.

-The droid had said that Tak Rennod had been killed by his concubine but when we asked Jod what that word meant he didn't want to tell us. What does it mean that Fern is his concubine?

Koma's heart sank. Did those children really not know? Maybe not even the other girl, the one she had left with Silvo, knew what she had become.

-A concubine is a whore.

She informed them in a flat voice.

-Who belongs to the captain and no one else.

The two males looked at her without understanding but the girl froze and then tried to turn around to return to her friend.

-No!

Koma hold her back.

-Stop! You can't do anything.

-Let me go, he can't do this to her! We are children! Fern and I are only twelve years old!

Koma grimaced regretfully.

-He can. If it of any consolation, however, I find it hard to believe too. I’ve seen the captain with whores, we went to the same brothels. I had never seen him with a little girl. Only women for him. Your friend has to be really special to get him to make such an exception. As I said: it's late now. If he hasn't already fucked her, he will soon. Don't get in the way, especially you, KB. If the captain has suddenly developed a preference for young girls, I would stay the hell away from him, if I were you. Here, this is the gallery.

The three children turned where she pointed and at the sight of the hanged corpses, the blue child fainted and fell to the floor. The other two looked at the bloody spectacle for a moment before looking away.

-Don't get in his way, keep your head down, obey orders and you will have a more peaceful life. Forget your friend: she belongs to the captain now, her fate is no longer your business.

They saw Fern again only two days later. The following morning, after spending the night squeezed into a single bed, at the insistence of the pirate woman who had ordered them to stay together and share the room, no matter how small and narrow, they had been entrusted with tasks to perform on the pirate frigate. KB had been sent to the engine room, where the chief mechanic had questioned her thoroughly and was satisfied that she could answer almost half of his questions; she had been entrusted to a mechanic, so that she could learn from him. Neel had been sent to the kitchens right away: it was evident that the pirate's life was not for him, he was easily frightened and abhorred violence but at least in the kitchen he would be useful. Wim, on the other hand, had earned the hatred of all the pirates he had come into contact with for his grumpy and rebellious character and had been entrusted, out of spite, with the task that no one on the ship did willingly and which was reserved as a light punishment for the most lazy and undisciplined members: the cleaning service.

The next day, the Libertas attacked the luxury resort of Lanupa with a lightning-fast raid. Instead of wasting time robbing the rich customers, however, the captain had quickly led them to Rennod liar, which they had emptied to the last credit, and then they had left avoiding the X-wings of the New Republic by a long margin.

The loot had restored the crew's confidence in their captain's leadership skills. Jod had been delighted by the ovation his men had given him and had allowed them to go relax and spend their share in Porto Borgo on spices, alcohol and whores. He had preferred to stay on board with a small group of pirates who had decided not to immediately squander their share of the loot, offering a small banquet in which the three children had also participated.

From their seat, they could see Jod sitting at the head of the table on some kind of throne toasting with the other pirates and Fern sitting on his lap.

The girl looked completely different from the friend they had known. She was wearing a dark green silk dress that was evidently too big for her. On a grown woman it would have been short and tight, boldly low-cut but on Fern it reached below the knees and she had to wear some kind of black leather bodice over the dress to keep it up. The straps slipped continuously, leaving her shoulders bare but at least the bodice covered her torso making the dress modest and hiding from view the breasts that otherwise would have been almost completely exposed by the neckline. Around her neck she wore an emerald necklace that matched the colour of her dress and she had her hair down, like a veil behind which to hide, always keeping her head bowed and her eyes downcast.

KB tried in vain to meet her gaze throughout the meal, clenching her fists in helpless rage, watching how Jod had put a hand on her thigh and at one point even slipped it under her skirt, sparking Fern's protest who for the first time became animated, blocking his wrist with one hand and turning to talk to him. He withdrew his hand with an indulgent smile and kissed her cheek, flushed with embarrassment.

-I'm going there.

KB said standing, fed up with that spectacle and the humiliation that her best friend had to suffer. Neel tried to stop her.

-No, KB! Remember what that woman told you! Don't attract attention!

But KB was already striding towards the head of the table, followed closely by a belligerent Wim and Neel, sighing, decided to join them too. He reached them in time to hear the discussion between his two friends.

-Don't interfere and let me speak, Wim!

KB was insisting.

-We must act wisely, without letting ourselves be carried away by anger. Jod is dangerous and could hurt Fern if we make him angry. Neel, hold him back.

The girl planted a hand on Wim’s chest, ordering him to stay a few steps away and then stepped forward. Jod, Fern and the pirates sitting around the man turned to look at her when she stopped by the side of the captain's chair.

-Excuse me if I’m interrupting you.

She began, in a demure voice.

-My friends and I were wondering if Fern could join us for a while. We haven't seen her for a long time and would like to chat, if it's not a problem.

It was a reasonable request and KB stared into Jod's eyes, trying to appear humble and respectful and without letting him suspect how much she wanted to take the fork resting on his plate and stick it in his eyeball.

He seemed to think about it for a while, then smiled crookedly.

-Why not? Would you like to join them, Fern?

He turned directly to the girl he was holding, whispering in her ear and Fern nodded quickly, trying to get up but Jod squeezed her, blocking her movement.

-Not so fast. If I allow you to spend some time with your friends, I expect to receive some gratitude from you. I deserve ... a kiss, what do you say?

The pirates around him laughed loudly, and Fern became even more embarrassed. Jod put a finger to his lips, tapping them and raising an eyebrow, waiting and Fern was forced to kiss him. He immediately deepened the kiss, sinking his fingers into her hair and Fern didn't rebel, keeping her arms limp, without even trying to push him away. Only when he was satisfied did Jod let her stand up and then seemingly completely lost interest in her, grabbing his cup and bringing it to his lips before turning to a pirate and restarting the conversation he had interrupted when KB arrived.

KB took Fern by the hand. Her friend's hand was cold and lifeless in hers and she dragged her along, towards the places they had been assigned, followed closely by Wim and Neel. She seated Fern in her seat and then sat on Wim's lap while Neel sat down as well.

-Fern... Fern please look at me!

Her brave and usually combative friend seemed empty. She raised her face but couldn't meet her eyes.

-Oh, Fern! I'm so sorry!

She hesitantly placed a hand on her bare shoulder and then, when she didn't try to push her away, she hugged her. Fern remained rigid at first but then seemed to melt into the embrace, squeezing her back and hiding her face in KB's hair.

-Is he hurting you?

Fern held her tightly and then began to cry.

-Please, don't ask me... I can't... I can't...

-Okay, okay, shh.

They hugged each other for a while, then finally Fern withdrew and wiped her cheeks, looking up, and seemed to regain her strength. She took a deep breath.

-Are you ok? Have they hurt you?

The three shook their heads and told her about what they had done since they had separated.

-Jod is an evil man!

Wim said forcefully.

-He's a murderer, a liar...

-And a rapist!

KB finished growling. Fern gasped.

-No, he... he didn't...

-Maybe he hasn't done it yet but we have seen how he touches you and how he forced you to kiss him. It is a violence! He says you're his concubine but the truth is that he's forcing you and moreover you're too young for things like that. He should be ashamed, that disgusting pervert!

Fern fiddled with a piece of bread on the table and lowered her gaze again during her friend's outburst.

-It's my fault KB...

She whispered in a broken voice.

-I caught his attention. But I didn't know it, I swear I didn't know he liked me!

-It's not your fault! Was he the one who told you that it was your fault?

KB exclaimed, full of horror.

-He said that... he said that if I obeyed him and let him do what he wanted, he would come back to Lanupa to get you. He promised me that he wouldn't do anything to me that would hurt me and that he wouldn't go... all the way. And he didn't!

KB was upset at how her friend was taking all the blame for what that horrible man was doing to her and was even defending him.

-Sure! Fantastic! He hasn't raped you yet, but he's molesting you! He shouldn't have blackmailed you like that: a promise extorted like this cannot be valid! We have to think about how to get you out of this situation. We must escape as soon as possible.

She looked at the head of the table. Jod was staring at them.

-Eat something Fern. You didn't touch food, I’ve been watching you the whole time.

KB pushed her plate towards her friend and gestured with her hand until she began to eat. At first small and hesitant bites, as if she had forgotten how to do it, then she began to eat voraciously.

-That bastard doesn't even give you food?

This time Fen did not answer. Jod had not forbidden her to eat, but she had not felt like it in his arms: a feeling of nausea and disgust had tightened her stomach, making her feel repulsed by the mere smell of the food in front of her. Only when KB had urged her to eat had she realized how hungry she had been and how Jod's presence had made her feel foreign to her body, as if her spirit had detached itself from it so that she couldn’t feel the sensation of his hands on her.

KB asked her where the captain's quarters were, and Fern tried to explain to her, but she could hardly remember the way, because the only thing she remembered clearly was the terror she had felt at the prospect of spending another night in his bed. In the end they somehow reconstructed the position, many floors higher than the small room that the girl shared with the two boys.

-The next destination will be At Attin.

Fern confided to them.

-He says he will ask for a ransom for us but I don't believe him.

KB agreed with her.

-Jod is a liar. It is more likely that he will attack and rob the mint.

The four children could not even imagine that the man's plans were much more sinister: he intended to occupy the planet, eliminating all resistance and making At Attin his base, with its inexhaustible source of credits churned out by the mint. Moreover, although the fate of Wim and Neel was completely indifferent to him and he sincerely intended to return them to their families, he believed that KB had what it takes to become an excellent mechanic and was reluctant to lose such a promising resource. He had no intention of letting Fern go. Fern was his and would continue to be his until any spells she had cast on him had lost its effect.

The four friends confabulated for the duration of the banquet, trying to find a solution but each one they came up, was met an insurmountable obstacle.

-It would be ideal if we could ask the lady of the moon for help.

 KB said.

-Have you memorized her contact?

Fern asked her, knowing well how prodigious her friend's memory was. KB nodded.

-She told us to call her if we needed help and now we really need it. She can call the X-wings.

-The real good guys!

Wim intervened enthusiastically.

-And they can fight the pirates.

Fern concluded. The plan was good, but they didn't know how to implement it. They didn't even know how to reach the ship's communicators and in any case, they would certainly have been guarded.

-The only solution would be to use the Onyx Cinder!

Fern continued in a frustrated tone.

-We could not only contact her but also escape!

Fern wanted more than anything to escape from the frigate and Jod's intrusive presence. If she no longer had to lay her eyes on him, she would be happy. It was shocking how he had become, in such a short time, a monster who tormented her nightmares. Strong, unstoppable, frightening. As if he had smelled her terror, Jod approached them from behind.

-I see that you have chatted for a long time.

The man's voice froze them.

-It's time for you children to go to bed to sleep. Tomorrow, another long day of work begins for you. How do you find the rooms that Koma has assigned you?

-We have only one room, sir.

Neel replied in a faint voice.

-Koma says that this way it is safer.

Wim added frowning, with in an expression of deep resentment on his face. The man looked surprised, then nodded, thoughtful.

-Actually, it's not a bad idea. Koma is always one step ahead.

He laughed softly.

-She told everyone that one of the two girls who had come on board was my new concubine but she was careful not to specify which one. She must like you, KB.

Seeing that Fern was beginning to get agitated, looking at her friend in panic, Jod hurriedly reassured her.

-Your friend is not in any real danger Fern. My men can behave... badly… but the crew is sacred. None of them will bother KB: she is one of us now. But some may become insistent if they came upon her while she’s alone.

Jod sighed.

-You have my protection KB, and so do you two! If anyone bothers you, remind them that I have a deadly policy against those who harass crew members and that it is better for them to leave you alone.

-Too bad this policy doesn't apply to you too, captain.

KB pointed out sharply. Jod lost his smile and stiffened, baring his teeth menacingly.

-Be careful what you say, little girl. Remember the fate of the mutineers who rebel against my authority.

Fern jumped to her feet, standing in front of her friend. He knew that Jod's attention would be drawn to her person. She didn't want to do it but had to protect his friends.

-KB is just trying to protect me.

-You two had to be good friends on At Attin.

The man said in a deceptively disinterested voice, but KB didn't fall into the trap.

-We barely knew each other, before getting on the Onyx Cinder. It's that I can't stand injustice.

Jod lost his patience, irritated that she was trying to pin him down to his faults and hypocrisies. He already felt guilty for what he was doing, he didn't need her to shove it in his face.

-That's enough.

He cut her off in a low voice and a dark tone.

-To bed, all of you. Fern, with me.

He took her by the arm and dragged her away with him. Fortunately, she did not resist: she was learning.

Fern's submissiveness, however, was due to fear.  She had convinced herself that as long as she did not rebel, as long as she obeyed his orders, he would not hurt her. In fact, Jod was nice to her, even if Fern didn't realize it because she had no basis for comparison. Jod kissed her, touched her and in the morning rubbed against her rigid and uncooperative body to relieve his frustration. But he was never violent, trying to respect the boundary he had sworn to her not to cross, preferring to masturbate where she couldn’t see him and not insisting that she participate. Oh, he wanted her to touch him. He was sure that nothing would be more satisfying than her hand clasped around him or her warm mouth that he had had the opportunity to explore in recent days, kissing her often in the hope that she would begin to participate.

Jod had allowed her to sleep clothed the first two nights, but Fern knew that option was no longer possible. Jod had retrieved Rennod's concubine's trunk from the Onyx Cinder and insisted that she wear "something nice" while her clothes were washed. Jod himself, as soon as they arrived at his cabin on the first night, had retired to the bathroom for a long time, taking a shower and shaving. He had come out with only a towel wrapped around his hips, and Fen had closed her eyes, blushing and praying that he would get dressed quickly. He had laughed and dressed, muttering that he was going to burn the filthy rags he had been forced to wear until then. Then he had also ordered her to wash. Fern had done it quickly and trembling with fear because there had been no way to block the door and he could have entered and surprised her naked at any time. However, this had not happened, to her relief. Once out of the shower, she had put on the dirty clothes she had worn clean one distant morning at her house on At Attin and Jod had turned up his nose seeing her dressed like this.

-Your clothes are also dirty. You will end up getting the sheets dirty too.

Fern had feared that he would insist for she to undress but instead had retrieved one of his shirts from the closet and thrown it at her.

-Go back to the bathroom and put this on. Feel free to keep your pants on if you really have to.

The shirt, although wide and long, would have been useless to cover her and Jod, as much as he fantasized about her bare legs, feared that he would not be able to keep his promise if there was only a meagre piece of cloth to separate him from what he wanted the most. So Fern had continued to wear her filthy pants and stained his sheets with dirt, but Jod didn't care. He was already getting used to having Fern close to him all night and waking up with her soft, warm curves pressed against his arousal. It was the only time he used her that way. He squeezed her and touched her over her clothes, coming quickly for three mornings straight. He knew that Fern didn't appreciate being treated like an object, but since she refused to participate in any sexual activity, Jod had decided to take at least that little pleasure from her.

When they arrived at their cabin, Jod kissed her on the lips. He had noticed that when he wasn't using the tongue, Fern was relaxed, and the lips under his were soft and yielding, as he wanted them to be.

-I realized that I have been extremely selfish these days. I thought only of myself and not at all of you. Tonight, I wanted to try something you might like.

Fern's eyes widened and she wrapped her arms around her body as if to hide from his sight. Jod had caressed her cheek, down her neck and finally rested his palm on her bare shoulder. He had gently pushed her towards the bed, sat on the edge and made her sit in front of him between his legs with her back turned towards him. He had kissed her shoulder.

-What soft skin you have!

He had whispered in a hoarse voice, already hopelessly aroused. But that evening was for her. He began to untie the ties of her corset and she whimpered with terror.

-Shh, don't worry, I'll just take off the corset. Hold the dress with your hands so that it does not slip down.

He pulled the leather ties out of the eyelets so he could remove her corset without her having to move. Only Fern's arms kept her dress from falling off, leaving her naked to the waist. The girl was wearing nothing underneath, he knew it because he had taken her clothes and passed her the dress and corset she was wearing through the bathroom door. He had not provided her with any kind of underwear.

-Pull up the neckline.

She obeyed him and while she covered her chest almost to her collarbones, Jod pulled down the dress from behind exposing her back almost completely. He couldn't resist the temptation and placed a hand on her skin, with his palm open. She had three moles on her right shoulder. He put his other hand on her, placing both on her shoulders and pressed his thumbs firmly on the muscle bands that ran along her spine, just below the seventh cervical vertebra. Fern inhaled loudly, tossing her head back.

-How tense you are... Are you unable to sleep well at night?

He pushed her hair to the side, which had slipped down her back, and then began to press again, moving his thumbs down. Fern gasped and then moaned as he pressed with particular force at a point where he felt her stiff, until the muscle under his fingers softened. He moved back on the bed, to prevent even his pants from touching her green silk dress. Fern covered her mouth with one hand, shocked by the sound that had come out of her lips.

-No, no, put down that arm.

He took hold of her shoulders, rotating them.

-The purpose is to relax, if you tense up it is not good.

She slowly brought her hand down, to hold the dress.

-That's better.

Jod began to press and stimulate the stiffened muscles again, and Fern couldn't hold back her sighs and moans. Jod was extremely pleased that he had finally managed to get her to make those sounds. They were very erotic but he knew that they were not due to a sexual arousal.

-Don't be embarrassed. It's normal. If you didn't like it, I'd be worried about doing it wrong!

He tried to joke. He reached the end of her back and then went back up, ending with the muscles around her arm joints. Finally she was so relaxed that she leaned limply against his chest when he made her bend back and kissed her where her neck met her shoulder.

-Well? That wasn't bad, was it?

Fern didn't answer, but Jod took the fact that she hadn't immediately stiffened under his lips as a victory. He made her stand up, getting up in turn and kissed the back of her neck, caressing her bare back. Then he went to Rennod's concubine's trunk and took out a long black ruffled skirt that complemented the corset Fern had been wearing.

-Put this on with my shirt, to sleep tonight.

Fern's expression was surprised and she looked him in the face taking the skirt, whispering a thank you before going to the bathroom to change. Jod stared at the closed door, realizing that it was the first time Fern had looked at him without fear and disgust in three days. When she emerged from the bathroom, he looked at her critically. She had to lift the skirt up to walk and had had to tighten the laces at her hips that kept it closed but the garment undoubtedly offered her protection from his touch. It was long, bulky, and the crinolines made it heavy and difficult to lift. His shirt instead was another story and Jod swallowed, feeling his mouth dry. The shirt was loose but underneath she wore nothing and if it covered the outline of her figure, it left her nipples in relief and clearly visible.

-Get under the covers.

He didn't have to repeat it twice. Jod took refuge in the bathroom to masturbate, using the memory of the moans she had let slip to finally make his fantasy more believable.

The next morning, instead of using her to find relief, he woke her up and turned her to him. He kissed her gently, small kisses along the entire contour of her lips. Fern was stiff and breathing hard and he could feel her heart beating fast, where he pressed a hand on her back, to keep her facing him. Instead of invading her mouth as he usually did, he made only the tip of his tongue dart out, caressing her lips.

-Fern...

Jod moaned.

-Please, you are killing me. Kiss me back.

Trembling, she pressed her lips against his and Jod cheered internally, continuing to kiss her languidly, just licking her lips every now and then. Finally, for the first time, she relaxed in his arms as she returned the kisses he gave her. Eventually, Jod leaned his forehead against his, breathing heavily, trying to regain control of his lust. He left the bed and took refuge in the bathroom, wondering if she knew what he did when he left her alone. When he came out, he was in a great mood. Fern was still in bed, sitting and with the sheets wrapped around her shoulders but she was not angry, nor scared. She looked embarrassed, and Jod smiled tenderly at her.

-I was thinking that you could have breakfast here. Your friend Neel works in the kitchens, I could tell him to bring something here to you, what do you say?

Her eyes lit up and she nodded, smiling at him. Jod left his cabin with his heart bursting with satisfaction.

Chapter Text

Fern spent the day locked in Jod's cabin. Apparently, it was normal for a concubine not to wander freely around the ship but to spend all her time in the captain's bedroom. Neel was a happy distraction and not only because he brought her lunch, which she was not forced to share with Jod. Neel was kind and too nice and shy to ask her what Jod had done to her, avoiding looking at the bed and sharing the meal with her on the small table cluttered with junk in the cabin. At dinner time Jod returned with her old clothes, finally clean. Fern, however, could not put them back on because he still wanted her dressed in the concubine's clothes. He made her keep the bulky skirt and made her put the corset back on, this time with nothing underneath. Fern felt uncomfortable and practically naked with her shoulders and arms bare and decided to tell him, hoping that he would have a minimum of mercy, after all the night before and that morning he had been really nice.

-Jod... I don't like being dressed like this.The skirt is fine but the top... I feel almost naked.

She decided to try to use his jealousy to her advantage, if it ever existed.

-I don't want everyone to see me like this, to look at me and imagine me without clothes.

Jod had swallowed and caressed her with his eyes. There was no need to ask him if he was imagining her without clothes. Then he frowned.

-Maybe you're not entirely wrong. This dress looks really good on you.

He ran his fingers from her bare shoulder down her arm to her wrist, making her shiver.

-It makes you look older, more mature than you are.

He brushed her lips with his forefinger and Fern thought he was going to kiss her again but instead he cleared his throat and took a step back.

-Let's see what else is in the chest.

He began to rummage through it but Fern knew what it contained: she had already looked the first day, hoping to find a pair of trousers but instead there were only dresses, indecently short or transparent, with bells and ribbons and veils that she had not been able to imagine how they should be worn.

-It can't be the only trunk she had, Jod.

She pointed out.

-Surely she had others, why don't you let me look? Tomorrow I could go back to the Onyx Cinder and see if there's anything else. You could accompany me yourself or send someone to check on me, if you don't trust me.

And anyway, she would never have fled without her friends. Jod muttered something and then took a light transparent red blouse.

-Put it under the bodice.

She changed in the bathroom and then Jod put his arm on her shoulders and led her out to have dinner with the rest of the crew.

This time he did not allow her to sit with her friends, but insisted on feeding her since he had noticed that she had not wanted to eat with him the previous evening. Fern felt humiliated as he took morsels with his hands and insisted on putting them directly in her mouth. She felt the eyes of the crew on her and they were cruel eyes, she saw the pirates sneering and nudging each other, pointing at her and then whispering things that made them laugh loudly. Jod was impassive and did not pay attention to the attitude of his men. The women were more reserved, they did not laugh at her and looked at her with indecipherable expressions. The girl felt like an animal in a menagerie, as if Jod was showing off how he had tamed her.

When they returned to the bedroom, Fern didn't know what to expect. He had been kind last time but the previous times he had been pushy and scary.

-You are so beautiful Fern.

He said, leaning his back against the door, before advancing inside the room. She remained motionless and let him approach. Whatever he wanted to do to her, she couldn't stop him, so why rebel?

-I feel like the luckiest man of all, to have you with me.

He kissed her lips, as he had done that morning, and she relaxed in his arms, pressing her lips against his.

-So lucky...

He repeated in a hoarse voice before starting to kiss her again, darting his tongue out, to lick her lips. It wasn't bad, it wasn't disgusting.

-Pull out your tongue too, Fern. Just a little...

When he kissed her again, she did as he had asked and he touched her tongue with his own, in a caress. That wasn't bad either, not like the kisses he'd forced on her in the previous days, which disgusted her and took her breath away. He moaned softly and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close and making her to toss her head back to maintain contact with his lips. He lifted her slightly and Fern had to cling to his shoulders so as not to lose her balance. This seemed to make him lose control because he kissed her more ardently, the way she didn't like and Fern turned her face, escaping his lips. Jod didn't get angry but breathed heavily against her cheek.

-All right. I understand that you don't like it that way. I will stop, okay?

He let her go.

-You can put your clothes back on to sleep if you want. Or you can dress like yesterday.

She grabbed her school uniform and took refuge in the bathroom, chased by Jod's amused laughter.

When she returned to the room, he was waiting for her in shirt and trousers, sitting on the edge of the bed, as he had the night before. He motioned for her to sit on his lap and Fern obeyed, wondering if he wanted to massage her back again.

-I know you don't trust me.

He whispered in her ear, placing a hand on her thigh.

-But I just want to please you. I want to do something just for you, I won't take anything for myself.

Fern was worried, she didn't understand what he meant by pleasure. He pushed her hair away from her neck and began to kiss her. First light kisses, then moist ones when he also began to lick her skin. Fern flailed on his legs. The way he kissed her... She felt strange sensations, shivers running over her skin

And a wet throbbing between her legs. To her horror, she realized that her body was getting aroused.

-Stop...

She moaned out of breath, but he took the skin of her neck, under her right ear, between his teeth and sucked hard. Fern groaned and squeezed her legs, clawing at the arms that held her by the torso.

-You’re hurting me!

-That's not true.

He growled against her wet skin.

-That was not a groan of pain. Don't lie to me, Fern.

Then Jod sighed and his embrace became less possessive.

-It's the first time you've experienced sensations like these, isn't it? You are afraid of them, that's why you say I'm hurting you, but you don't have to be afraid. These feelings are normal.

She shook her head frantically.

-No! I don't want to! Not with you!

-Ahh, here comes the truth. You don't want me. You don't like the fact that you like what I'm doing.

He began kissing her neck again, tugging open the collar of her shirt and revealing the shoulder. There he attacked the skin again with his teeth and lips and Fern fidgeted again on his lap, moaning and sobbing.

-You have to stop fighting what you feel, Fern. Let yourself go. There is no shame in this.

-Yes, there is!

She screamed desperately.

-Stop it, I don't want this!

-Try to relax. You can't force yourself not to feel anything!

He urged her. If she didn’t yield on this it was going to be impossible to touch her in other places and give her the pleasure he was sure he could give her with his hands and tongue. He sucked the skin of her neck again and grabbed both of her breasts, firmly but without squeezing. She screamed and arched her back, trying to get away from him but Jod didn't let her go, following the outline of her nipples through the fabric, remembering how they looked the only time he'd seen them and moaning excitedly. Fern stopped fluttering about on his lap, exhausted and sobbing but between one sob and another, moans escaped her and her nipples, under his caresses, became hard and pointed. Jod could only imagine how wet she was. He wanted to touch her there too, but he feared that Fern would go mad with terror if he were to put his hand inside her pants. He simply grabbed her thigh, near the joint of her legs, and forcibly spread them apart, imprisoning the other leg between his own.

-Calm down, don't cry. You like it, I know you like it... Your body is reacting to specific stimuli, it's absolutely normal, you can't control it.

He continued to kiss her and squeeze her breasts, mapping the contour with his hand while with the other he caressed the inside of her thigh, sliding higher and higher with his thumb until her moans were more numerous than the sobs. When she began to move her pelvis towards her hand, he grabbed her firmly between her legs, pressing with his fingers and she screamed, stiffening but not out of fear.

-Force! Are you...?

Fern covered her face with her hands and burst into desperate tears. He finally let go of her and turned her towards him, sideways on his legs.

-Shh, don't cry. It was magnificent, you were magnificent. It's a special, beautiful moment, don't cry.

-I didn't want this... I didn't want this!

-I know, I know.

He tried to comfort her.

-It was involuntary, you couldn't have stopped it even if you wanted to.

He cradled her against his chest but she didn't seem to stop weeping, she was desperate and red in the face.

-You made me so happy, Fern, so happy...

-I hate you!

She cried.

-I hate you! What did you do to me!?

-It's not true, you don't hate me!

Jod replied. She couldn't mean it.

-I gave you an orgasm. You were aroused. That it is how I feel every time I look at you, every time I touch or kiss you. And I managed to make you feel the same thing. It was the first time it happened to you or... had you already managed to achieve such pleasure, perhaps alone, by touching yourself?

-No! We are not having this conversation!

She yelled in his face and Jod decided to give her a minimum of dignity and not force her to answer his question.

-You know, I'm terribly aroused too.

He confessed to her in a hoarse voice, pushing his excitement against her. Fern turned pale, feeling something hard and long pressing against her. She shook her head frantically. Jod laughed softly.

-I don't expect you to do for me what I did for you. Not yet, at least. Now I'm going to go to the bathroom and take matters into my own hands, so to speak. I'll think about you, Fern.

He hesitated.

-Do you want to look?

-Absolutely not!

Jod sighed disappointed.

-Okay then, get up. I'm going to do it alone.

Fern sprang from his knees and moved as far away from him as possible. She looked down his pants, stunned, where the profile of his penis was clearly visible. Jod stroked himself through the cloth and she closed her eyes and turned her head. He went to the bathroom and when he returned she was still standing near the wall.

-Come to bed, Fern.

The girl shook her head.

-I won’t do anything to you anymore. Listen...

He ran a hand over his eyes.

-Men can't have multiple orgasms in a row. I have, so to speak, unloaded. I'll be fine until tomorrow morning. You're safe... Come to bed.

With hesitant steps she reached him and joined him under the sheets. As usual, Jod hugged her from behind and kissed the contour of her ear, caressing her belly. Then he fell asleep. Devoured by shame and guilt for having felt pleasure for something he had done to her, she took a long time to fall asleep.

The next morning, as usual by now, Jod woke her up and this time, in addition to kissing her, he also began to caress her breasts, as he had done the previous evening. Fern remained stiff, closing her eyes tightly, and turned her face away to deny him access to her lips. He kissed her neck and she let out strangled noises, trembling. When Jod grabbed her by the chin, to make her turn towards him, he realized that she was biting her lip ferociously. When he saw that she was also clasping her hands close until her nails left marks on her palms, he got angry.

-Stop it Fern! Hurting yourself will not help you, in fact, you will do worse to yourself!

He caressed her face and kissed her forehead, trying to make her stop.

-It is worse if in your mind you associate pain with pleasure. Don't do that.

He shook her and tried to unclenched her jaw but she moved to hit him in the face with a fist and Jod had had enough. He didn't want to hurt her, but he didn't want her to hurt herself either, so he rolled out of bed, leaving her alone, at least for the moment. He stood up, raising his open hands.

-That's it, I won’t touch you anymore, okay? Now stop, please.

She released her lip where the imprint of her incisors remained and opened her fists.

-I promised you that I would obey you, that I would let you do what you wanted. Not that I would have participated!

Fern's beautiful face was contorted with rage. Jod smiled bitterly.

-Then we have a problem because you see... I only like it if you like it too. I don't rape women, I don't enjoy inflicting pain.

-But you are hurting me!

She replied in a broken voice as anger slipped away giving way to despair.

-You’re hurting me here!

She beat her chest.

-I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I'm always afraid of what you will do to me. I can't take it anymore!

She curled up on herself, crying. Jod had a flicker of remorse. The thing that had attracted him the most about Fern, aside from her physical appearance, had been her personality: indomitable, brave and daring. With remorse he realized that he had broken that girl and that all the qualities that had fascinated him were bleeding away from the cracks that he himself had caused. With even greater regret he realized that this was not enough to make him stop.

He sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her trembling back.

-All right. We will slow down. Maybe I moved too fast for you. We have plenty of time...

She lifted her head suddenly, something he had said had filled her with horror.

-What do you mean? Time? Aren't you taking us back to At Attin?

Jod turned up his nose at having inadvertently made a misstep.

-Yes, we're going to At Attin... But I don't think I'll be able to give you up. Not until we're done.

She had blanched and then turned red with anger.

-Foul liar! You said you would ask a ransom for us!

-For the other three, yes. But not for you.

Jod's voice was harsh and his expression cruel.

-You stay with me. Until we’re finished.

He repeated and she shook her head, incredulous.

-Finished? Finished with what?

-With what is between us.

-There is nothing between us!

Fern strongly denied it.

-It's all in your head! It's you who want me! It's you who touch me and kiss me, I don't want you to!

He raised his eyebrows and answered her in a reasonable tone, as if she would accept just because he was the one saying so.

-I want you Fern and I won't be done until I have had you, completely. You're still too young to make love with me, but you're going to grow up. In the meantime, I have to get you used to me or you will never be ready. You liked what I did last night, right? Later on, I will start touching you under your clothes until you get used to being naked with me. There are so many types of kisses, you can't even imagine how much pleasure I can give you, I've never met any woman who didn't like it. I can make even the most bored whore enjoy it, imagine how much you will like it! And then, when you're older, we can get to the next step and have a sexual intercourse, but it's going to take years. You're still too young, your body isn't ready.

She looked at him petrified, open-mouthed with surprise, but it was not a nice kind of surprise the kind that fills you with joy and wonder.

-You're crazy.

She whispered.

-I don't want to do it…

-You will want to.

He insisted.

-It just takes time. You've been my concubine for less than a week, we're just getting started.

She reasoned feverishly to find a way out, she wasn’t going to last years with him, those few days had been a nightmare, she wasn’t going to survive without going crazy.

-You said that when we're done, you'll let me go.

He grimaced.

-Generally my attention does not last long, once I get what I want from a woman.

Jod confessed.

-So, if I agree to... to...

She couldn't use the word love, not in that context.

-To have sex with you, will you let me go?

He pulled back abruptly, as if she had threatened him and got out of bed, moving away a few steps.

-By the Abyss! Don't tempt me like that! Don't say things like that, don't put them in my head! You are twelve years old, even if I were very gentle and tender, I would hurt you a lot. Don't even propose it to me again!

-I want to go home!

Fern screamed in an anguished voice.

-Hurt me, do what you want, just please... let me go home afterwards!

-No!

Jod shook his head, moving further away. He quickly put on his boots.

-No!

He replied, raising the volume of his voice and tying his belt with his dagger and pistol at his waist. He pointed a finger at her.

-No!

And then he fled from his cabin and the temptation that looked at him with frightened eyes from his bed.

He avoided returning to her all day and until very late into the night, with the excuse that there were endless preparations to be completed before attacking At Attin. He was yawning constantly when he finally decided to retire, hoping to find her already asleep. His cabin was dark but Jod knew it well enough to be able to move around even without a light. Silently he took off his boots and belt and slipped under the sheets. For the first time since he had claimed her as his concubine, he stayed away from Fern's sleeping body. He fell into a restless sleep. In his head, the words she had spoken to him resounded in his mind again.

-Hurt me, do what you want...                                                                                                 

In his dream, not that he knew he was dreaming, she was wearing the black dress. The frilly skirt with heavy crinolines that piled on the floor because it was too long and the corset that tightened her torso, only in the dream it was the right size and pushed Fern's young breasts upwards, where his eyes could see them. Her lips were painted carmine and her hair gathered in such a way as to leave her shoulders and neck uncovered. Tight around her neck she wore a golden chain that hung down her front, to the ground, like a kind of collar with a leash. Her pallor was accentuated by the lipstick that made her wide lips even more swollen, as if she had been thoroughly kissed.

-Hurt me...

She whispered in a hoarse voice, approaching him and placing her hands on his chest, tossing her head back and offering him her lips. He kissed her and what he had thought was lipstick turned out to be blood that left a metallic taste on his tongue. They suddenly found themselves in bed and, in the grip of an overwhelming passion, Jod kissed and bit her neck as he squeezed her breasts through the rigidity of the bodice. She moaned with pleasure and arched, offering herself to him. He urgently lifted her skirt, piling up all that fabric at waist height and she wrapped her long legs around him, drawing him to her.

-Hurt me...

She repeated and Jod grabbed her by the hips, pushing himself violently into her. Fern let out a shrill shriek of pain but Jod didn't stop, starting to retreat and push back into her in a fast and brutal pace, moaning with pleasure. The girl's screams of pain were deafening, becoming higher-pitched, more and more childish and, opening the eyes he had closed, Jod realized that below him lay a child Fern screaming and crying. To his horror, he realized that he couldn't stop, even though he wanted to at that point. The only way to do it was to reach the orgasm but no matter how hard he tried, it eluded him. He kept hurting her but he couldn't stop and couldn't reach completion and so he began to cry too.

Jod sat up on the bed with a muffled scream. He looked around frantically, and his heartbeat didn't slow until he saw Fern's motionless form lying at a distance from him, almost on the edge of the mattress. Feeling bile rise up his throat, he got out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror: he was sweaty and his complexion was waxy. His hands were shaking. He closed his eyes, pressing his palms against his eyes until everything went black. He shivered and trembled convulsively from head to toe and he felt dirty, filthy inside. Jod undressed and took a shower scratching his skin until it reddened, spitting and rinsing his mouth, without completely being able to chase away the taste of blood.

After the verbal confrontation they had had and from which Jod had practically fleed, Fern had a few days of peace. On the first day, Neel returned with breakfast and lunch but she took refuge under the sheets, refusing to get up and talk to him. What had happened filled her with too much shame and she could not face her friend. She refused the food but when Neel did not come back with dinner and Jod did not show up either, the pangs of hunger pushed her to the table and made her eat the food, now cold. That night Jod came in late and was so quiet that Fern did not notice anything, waking up only in the middle of the night, awakened by his tossing about and moaning. The bastard was having a nightmare: he deserved it. She rolled on the edge of the mattress, out of his reach, and hoped that if he started moving in his sleep, he wouldn't touch her even by accident. She pretended to be asleep when he woke up with a start and staggered to the bathroom, breathing heavily. It must have been a really bad dream. She fell asleep again before he came back to bed, and in the morning when she woke up, he had already left.

Fern felt a timid hope blossom in her chest. Perhaps her speech had had some effect and he was beginning to put some distance between them. Therefore she had got out of bed and greeted Neel with a smile, apologizing for her behaviour of the day before. Neel had not commented but had told her that KB was very worried for her and that she wanted to meet her. Fern, on the other hand, was glad that KB couldn't came. She didn't know how to explain to her that she had liked something Jod had done to her to that extent. She felt guilty, a voluntary accomplice of his perversion.

When he came back during the daily cycle she was totally taken aback. She knew that they shared the same bed but it had been two days since the last time he had interacted with her.

He stopped at the doorway, leaning against the threshold, and folded his arms.

-We’re arrived at At Attin. I thought you would be interested in knowing this.

He informed to her in a cheerful tone. Fern jumped up from the bed and quickly put on her boots. From behind Jod, Neel's trunk peeked out and she even caught sight of KB's light hair. She reached Jod at the door and dodged around him without touching him and he let her pass. Then he put a gloved hand on her shoulder, squeezing and preventing KB from hugging her as she had tried to do.

-Good, very good... Children, your parents are waiting for you!

-Have you contacted them?

Neel asked, full of hope. Jod laughed jubilantly and Fern felt uneasy and full of apprehension. She exchanged a worried look with KB.

-Even better, dear Neel! They are right out of here.

KB frowned, following him. There was a group of pirates with them, who surrounded their captain and the children.

-We landed on At Attin and they are very eager to see you again.

Wim startled, surprised.

-But... And the barrier? How did you pass through it?

Jod smiled crookedly. He had sacrificed a few fighters and some brave men before realizing that only the Onyx Cinder could cross the planet's deadly protective barrier. The damn droid had only said it when Jod had specifically asked it. With the ship and with droid in tow, he had descended to the surface, where he had been mistaken for an emissary of the Old Republic. At Attin had been isolated for about thirty years and all that time they had kept on minting money for an institution that no longer existed.

He had met Fara, Fern's mother. When he had seen her, he had had a start: the resemblance to his daughter was remarkable, they had the same eyes and the girl's name had come out on his lips. The woman had pressed him with questions and he had told her that he had a larger ship in orbit around the planet and that the four missing children were in his custody. He had discovered that Fern's mother held a very important position in the hierarchy of At Attin and that she could give his frigate the codes to pass the barrier unscathed. However, the droids had insisted on first taking him to the supervisor himself, even though it was not a person but a droid. He had to destroy it when he realized that the last order the chancellor had issued before proclaiming himself emperor was still in force on At Attin: to arrest all the jedi on charges of treason. He had to blackmail Fara, convincing her to let the Libertas pass with the threat that she would never see her daughter again, otherwise.

His frigate and his armed crew had quickly taken control of the planet. When he destroyed the supervisor, he had also disabled all the droids, the only ones to be armed.

It had taken a day to restore order. There had been looting, murders and rapes but Jod had quickly put an end to them with the help of Koma and Pax. He had not yet decided which of the two would be his new first officer and so they both worked hard in the hope of standing out more than the other.

He boarded an open transport with the four children and a small group of pirates: the new lord of At Attin certainly could not go around without a proper escort. Fern covered her face and closed her eyes when she saw the sun again and so did her friends. He grabbed a handle and squeezed her against his side to help her not lose her balance.

The nightmare he had had, had shaken him a lot and Jod had considered it as a warning from his subconscious: Fen was still young, a little more than a child and he had gone too far with her. He needed to be more patient and to start over, first he had to make sure she wasn’t afraid of him anymore and only then he would be able to touch her again, but more gradually than before.

They landed in front of a delegation of inhabitants. There were the four undersecretaries including Fern's mother, and the parents of the other three children.

-As promised: here they are, safe and sound.

He motioned for his men to let KB, Wim and Neel go and they ran into the arms of their parents, in tears. Fern, on the other hand, was still hold close to his side and looked at her mother: her hair was unkempt, which was strange for her, and her clothes were dusty and crumpled. Fern looked around, suddenly noticing that there were no droids and that a few plumes of smoke were rising in the distance. Then she saw a charred transport and broken droids piled up in a corner.

-What...?

Jod laughed softly and squeezed her shoulder tightly.

-At Attin is under my control now and its inhabitants work for me.

Fern turned abruptly to her mother who nodded, grimacing before stepping forward.

-Now it's time to keep your word, Captain Silvo. Give me back my daughter.

She stretched out her arms, motioning for Fern to join her, but instead of letting her go, Jod guided her to her mother, following her.

-Safe and sound, as we had agreed.

He gently pushed her into her mother's arms, but maintained contact with one hand pressed against her back. Fern almost began to cry, enveloped by her mother's embrace, hold close to her chest.

-You lot: take your children home! They had had a couple of difficult weeks. The others can return to work.

Jod had enlisted all the computer technicians to repair the central system that controlled the droids, but without putting it under the control of the supervisor, which would no longer be repaired. Droids were crucial for At Attin and for doing most manual labour. The undersecretaries instead, were in charge of reorganizing the population and putting them back to work, only now they served the pirates and not the Republic. Jod expected to have working droids within a few days and to reopen offices and schools by the end of the week. Only then the operations of loading the gold and the division of the loot would begin.

Fara tried to turn around with her daughter but Jod grabbed the back of Fern's jacket.

-Not so fast.

He gave the woman a smile with too many teeth.

-I am the new master of At Attin and I believe I have the right to appropriate housing. You, Fara, will host me in your home.

The woman looked at him with a dumbfounded expression and Fern hid her face against her shoulder, moaning in despair.

-Get on the transport. Fara, show us the way.

He grabbed Fern by the arm and with a tug separated her from her mother, dragging her back on the transport and then putting his arm on her shoulders.

The woman led them to her home which, Jod noticed with a disappointed grimace, was not so different from those around, even if the neighbourhood appeared richer, the houses larger and the gardens more extensive. He motioned for two of his men to follow him inside while the others stood outside the door.

Fern's house was on two floors, a steel and glass structure, which allowed a lot of natural light to enter. He looked around curiously. It was a beautiful house, not luxurious but classy, reflecting the comfortable and easy life that its owners had enjoyed.

Fara followed them, wringing her hands.

-Why my home? Surely it can't be suitable...!

Jod paid no attention to her protests and looked upstairs.

-What's up there?

-On the ground floor there is my study, a service bathroom, the kitchen and the living room, with the garage for the landspeeder. Upstairs there are the bedrooms and another bathroom.

Jod patted Fern on the shoulder.

-Take me upstairs, I want to see your room.

-No!

Fara protested in a scandalized voice.

-Well, I have to see where I will sleep.

Jod replied with a cruel smile. Then, under the woman's shocked eyes that gradually filled with horror, he stroked Fern's arm, followed the profile of her shoulder and pushed her loose hair away from her neck, revealing the red bruises he had left on her days before. Then he pushed her up the stairs. Fara came forward with a scream, but a pirate grabbed her by the forearm, twisting it.

-Mom!

Fern screamed trying to reach her, but Jod clutched her by the waist and then turned to his man.

-Take it easy, don't hurt her! She is one of the family, now.

The pirate laughed at his joke, holding her without hurting her.

-Nothing will happen to her, Fern. Now show me the bedrooms.

After a final glance at her mother, who was still struggling in the pirate's grip, Fern climbed the stairs, followed by Jod. She led him to her room, as he had asked her, but Jod stopped at the doorway, took a quick look, and then went on.

-Here is the bathroom I use.

Fern pointed to the next door.

-And this is mother's room.

Jod entered the last room but Fern stopped at the threshold. He rummaged through her mother's things, touching knick-knacks, opening drawers and wardrobe doors. Then he turned to her again.

-There is no trace of your father. Where is he?

Fern shook her head and frowned.

-I don't have a father. Mom had me alone. She went to a clinic, she told me that she didn't want to know who the donor was.

Jod closed the wardrobe, containing only women's clothes.

-So, there are only you and your mother in the house. No brothers, no sisters?

Fern shook her head. She had shown him the house, there were no rooms for anyone other than her and her mother.

-Let's go back down.

He put his arm around her shoulders and they went down the stairs together. Fara was pale and motionless next to the pirate who had held her.

-He...

She pointed to the pirate.

-He says that Fern is yours... yours...

-Concubine?

Jod finished the sentence for her in a strongly ironic tone.

-Filthy... disgusting...

Jod stiffened, and his mocking expression turned hard.

-Be careful what you say, Fara! Remember who's in charge now. Remember who has the power!

The helpless woman fell silent.

-Fern is just a child.

She tried to protest in a feeble voice. Jod shrugged his shoulders in disinterest.

-Fern and I will take your room: it is the largest one and it has an en-suite bathroom.

Finally he let go of the girl who, however, remained motionless by his side, with her head bowed in a submissive pose.

-I’m going back to my frigate. When I return, I want to see your things moved to Fern's room and hers to our room. Pax, Vane: stay here and watch them.

Then he left. The two pirates began to wander around the ground floor, opening the kitchen cabinets and taking food and the only bottle of alcohol they could find. Fara clawed at her daughter's shoulder and ran upstairs, led her to her room and closed the door, sitting down on her bed and seating Fern in front of her. She had a thousand questions to ask her but she didn’t have the time to open her mouth that the girl threw herself into her arms sobbing. Fara hugged her and caressed her back.

-Shh, shh.

-I'm sorry mom!

-Why? It's not your fault!

-Yes, it is. I'm so sorry! We trusted the wrong person! We brought him here!

-No, no, don't say that!

Fara replied.

-Oh, my baby, my baby. What has that beast done to you!

Fern pulled back from her embrace abruptly. Her brave, bold, and rebellious little girl was terrified and panting in panic.

-Fern! Fern, what has he done to you! Did he...?

The word rape stuck in her throat and Fara could no longer speak. Fern shook her head violently.

-He didn't hurt me. He has not touched me in days. Since...

She put her hand around her neck, covering the bite marks. Then she burst into tears.

-But he said he will! He said he won't let me go until he has what he wants, that he will keep me for years! I can't mom, I can't do it!

She was sobbing so hard that she could no longer speak and Fara, full of anger and disgust, rocked her, feeling completely helpless.

By the time Jod came back, with his belongings and Rennod's concubine's trunks, Fara and Fern had already moved their things.

Dinner was a tense affair. Fara heated five meat pies she had retrieved from the bottom of the freezer: she was a terrible cook and without the service droid she was unable to manage the house alone.

Pax and Vane ate their meal quickly and disappeared. Jod ate slowly and silently, observing every expression of his guests. Fara had eaten mechanically and Fern had barely touched her plate. Eventually, Jod wiped his mouth with the napkin and put the cutlery back on the plate.

-Thank you for the meal, Fara. Fern, if you're done, I'd ask you to retire to our room. Your mother and I have to talk.

Fern got up from the table without saying a word and ran upstairs. Fara pushed her plate away from herself, with a nauseated expression.

-What do you want to talk to me about?

Jod folded his arms. He was about to make her a proposal that was obscene but that he was almost sure that she would accept.

-Have you talked to Fern? About what is between us? The agreement she made with me?

Fara curled her upper lip with disgust.

-You're a filthy, revolting, perverted bastard.

She hissed angrily.

-And you should feel ashamed. Abusing a young girl...

Jod tried not to get angry, after all the woman was partly right.

-I haven't taken her, not yet.

He was keen to clarify.

-But it's hard to hold back, sometimes.

The man was exaggerating: he had decided not to touch Fern anymore for the foreseeable future, but Fara was not to know this.

-We sleep together. I like to touch her, hold her...

Fara reddened with impotent rage.

-But...

Jod had been relaxed and had spoken in a low hinting tone. Now he stood up and leaned towards the woman.

-But I couldn't help but notice how much you look like her. Or rather, how much Fern resembles you. You are as beautiful as she is and you have the advantage of being an adult and, I hope, experienced woman. With you, I would have no need to be careful, would I not?

Fara had blinked, dumbfounded.

-I don't understand. What do you mean?

-I can't have sex with Fern: she's too young. You could offer yourself as a valid alternative. Think about it: every minute I spend in your bed, will be one minute less I spend in hers.

The woman opened her mouth wide, surprised and then horrified.

-You want me to...?

Jod nodded. Then he spread his arms.

-But only if you are willingly. If you are not, I have neither the desire nor the inclination to force you. But you're going to spend all your nights knowing that Fern sleeps clung to me, that I kiss and caress her, and that she wakes up in the morning feeling my cock pressed against her.

Fara closed her eyes and shook her head. Jod waited patiently for her answer, tapping his fingers against the table. Finally, she nodded.

-All right.

She agreed in a broken voice. Then she opened her eyes again and looked at his face with a hard look.

-I'll make you a counter-proposal. I will become your concubine. I'll have sex with you as often as you want. Whatever you want, I will give it to you. In return, you'll let Fern go and never touch her again.

The man pursed his lips and shook his head.

-Absolutely not. It's Fern who I want, not you. You would only be a substitute, a palliative for the times when she turns me on.

He stood up, walked around the table, and stood beside her. He caressed the nape of her neck, left uncovered by her tied up hair. Fara stiffened and froze. Jod slipped the clip from her hair that fell in soft waves down her back, then frowned.

-Your hair is lighter than hers and wavy while Fern's is straight.

He sank his hand into the blond mane.

-But they are just as beautiful. I like women with long hair.

He stroked her jaw with his fingertips, reaching her chin and pushing it up and towards him. He bent down to kiss her. She did not resist but did not return the kiss either.

-Willingly, Fara.

He reminded her.

-It means that you don't have to just sit there and take it, but you have to participate.

Fara raised her arms, turning her whole body towards him, framed his face and kissed him, meeting his tongue halfway. Finally, Jod felt a shiver of excitement pervade him.

-Let's go upstairs.

She said in a whisper. Jod smiled, helping her to her feet and holding her close. Fara kissed him again, and then took him by the hand and led him into the room and into the bed that had been Fern's until that morning.

The girl had waited for Jod to arrive for a long time but in the end, she had dozed off. When he finally entered the room, she woke up with a start. Jod smiled and went to the bathroom where the sound of the shower soon came from. He came out shortly after, wearing only his pants and Fern closed her eyes, stiffening in terror at the thought of what he would soon do to her. Instead, Jod lay down by her side, without even touching her, in her mother's large bed. He made himself comfortable under the sheets and fell asleep almost immediately.

In the morning, when she woke up, he had already left, and it was only when she came down for breakfast that she learned what had happened the night before, and why Jod had had no interest in her. Her mother had prepared breakfast for her: hot milk with sweet crackers. She wore a dressing gown, and had her hair down as she wearily drank cup after cup of coffee. Only by looking more closely Fern noticed the bite marks that her mother wore around her neck, the same ones that were fading from her own skin. She shivered and almost spilled her milk.

-Mom!

She exclaimed in a choked voice. The mother immediately noticed where her daughter's gaze had landed and put her cup down on the table, giving her a stained smile.

-It's all right, dear.

She said in a soothing voice.

-He didn't bother you last night, did he?

Fern held back her tears and her face twisted into a bitter grimace.

-This is my fault. It’s because of me that he took it out on you!

Her mother embraced her swiftly.

-No! Don't even think about it. If there's a guilty one here, it's that... bastard! You are not to blame. And however, don't you worry: I can handle him.

She kissed her forehead and then smiled contemptuously.

-He's just a man after all. It's bad because he's blackmailing me, but it's not ...

Fara was at a loss for words: she had never talked about sex with her daughter but, given the situation they were in, perhaps it was better to have a clear discussion without allusions. She looked around, feeling exposed in the morning light, but they were alone.

-We have to talk Fern, about what happens between a man and a woman.

The daughter became red in the face.

-Mom!

She protested in a plaintive tone.

-I did sex education at school last year!

The mother shook her head.

-It's not the same thing: I saw the curriculum approved by the education office. It is precise, scientific and says nothing about the feelings and sensations that can be felt.

She sighed.

-They have certainly talked to you about how you can feel attraction towards someone else. How your body can get aroused and prepare for sexual intercourse. They may have told you about love and falling in love but the truth is that you can also feel sexual attraction for a stranger for whom you have no feeling of love. Or even towards someone you know and despise. The ideal, what every parent hopes for their children, is for them to fall in love and have their first experiences with someone they have a sincere feeling of affection for. That love, sexual arousal and intimate relationships would go hand in hand. But I have never fallen in love, not really. I had affairs with men when I was young, but never anything really serious: I felt attraction for someone and if the other reciprocated it then we dated for some time. But it never lasted: the attraction after a while waned and I lost interest. My work has always absorbed most of my time and energy, no one could compete. But I craved love. That's why I wanted to become a mother... And it was the best choice of my life: I love you like I've never loved anyone. My work is nothing compared to you.

Fern hugged her tightly. Never had her mother expressed her love for her with such sincerity. She had even come to think that her work meant more to her than Fern herself.

-After your arrival I no longer looked for relationships but only occasional one-night stands. Sex can be very pleasurable and therefore, if I found a partner willing to have intercourse without emotional involvement, we would meet. For me it is not traumatic or dreadful, sleeping with Silvo. It's just mechanical, it's a physiological function. I despise him but it is likely that, if he had approached me in any other circumstance, I would not have said no to him. So don't worry about me. He's not a violent lover, he didn't hurt me, not at all.

Fara stroked her daughter's hair with a trembling hand.

-But now I need you to tell me what he did to you. Don't be ashamed. Whatever happened, whatever he did, it's not your fault. Remember: you are a child and he had no right to touch you as he touched you, the blame lays only on him.

Fern blushed with embarrassment and lowered her face. If she had to confide in her, she could not look at her mother in the face. She tried to gather her ideas, to start with what had triggered it all.

-It started when he took control of the ship away from me. I was the captain of the Onyx Cinder, the ship we found buried in the woods, and he challenged me to a duel for the right to command. He was armed and stronger than me. He told me that he didn't want to hurt me but that I had to surrender so that SM-33, the droid of the Onyx Cinder, would recognize him as captain and take orders from him. I had to surrender, he threatened to kill me with a knife. KB, Neel and Wim managed to escape, I couldn’t. He took me back to the ship, along with the droid. I was his prisoner but the droid is old and defective and Jod thought it could kill me, considering me a stowaway and so he told it that I was his concubine. The droid took me to his cabin and told me to undress. It was humiliating but I didn't understand... I didn't know what that word meant. When Jod entered the cabin and saw me with only a blanket on, he told me to redress, but when I uncovered myself to do it...

Fern closed her eyes tightly, and her voice cracked.

-Is it my fault? Because I show myself to him without clothes? I thought he was safe: he is a grown man, I am a child, I didn't think he could be attracted to me. He yelled, scolding me, saying that I had no shame but then he touched and kissed me and I was so scared. He stopped. I don't think he had realised how young I was. But he insisted that I was his concubine and that we would sleep together. Then... Then he said he was going to abandon the others on the planet and I couldn't let him do that. He said he would go back and get them if I agreed to be his concubine for real, if I let him do what he wanted to me. In return, in addition to saving my friends, he promised me that he would not go all the way with me. He kept his promise. But he did other things...

-What things?

Fara pressed her, wanting to be sure to what extent that man had molested her daughter.

-He kissed me often, with his tongue: it was disgusting. When we are in bed together, he held me so tightly that I can't move, even though it's since before we landed on At Attin that he doesn’t do it and at night he no longer touches me in bed. In the morning...

She gulped.

-Usually in the morning he rubbed himself against me, moaning and panting. It was repulsive. He touched me.

She raised a hand, stopping it at breast height.

-Here, through the clothes and ... and also...

She put her hand between her legs.

-Here, always through the clothes. He kissed my neck that night, the night he touched me. It was... I'm so ashamed mom. At first it was pleasant and then, when he touched me... I didn't want to but my body, my body liked it. Very much.

Fern whispered the last words and trembled.

-Fern, darling. It was an involuntary reaction of your body. I have to tell you something else. It's horrible to talk about it but maybe it will help you understand. Your body reacts in a certain way to a certain stimulus. It's like sweating when it's hot.  It is also an automatic defence that your body implements. During a violent intercourse, if a woman's body becomes aroused, the injuries she will sustain will be minor. This is not to say that she likes what is going on. What else did he force you to do, Fern?

The girl shook her head.

-Nothing else, mom. But he said he wants to have sex with me in the future, when I'm older. That he wants me to get used to him, that he wants me to get used to being naked with him. I can't! I can't!

Fern began to breathe hard, panicking, her breathing coming shorter and faster.

-Shh, calm down Fern! Breathe slower, with me. One, two, three. Hold your breath.

The daughter obeyed her.

-Very well, now exhale. Inhale one, two, three. Hold your breath and exhale. You’re doing great.

Only when her daughter had calmed down did Fara start again with the questions.

-So, he only touched you through your clothes and never put his hands underneath?

Fern shook her head.

-Once he slipped his hand under my skirt, in front of the whole crew, but he stopped when I asked him to.

-And he never asked you to touch him?

Fern grimaced.

-He touched himself in front of me, always through his clothes. He asked me if I wanted to watch while he gave himself "relief". I told him no and he didn't insist.

Fara nodded.

-Ok. Thank you for confiding in me. Honestly, I thought much worse.

Fern looked at her in astonishment and Fara gave her a sad smile.

-He could have done you much more. Now I'm here and maybe I can keep him busy enough: if we're lucky he'll limit himself to what he's done so far. I offered myself to him as concubine instead of you but he rejected me. I hope to change his mind.

-Mum no!

-Hush.

Fara comforted her.

-I am an adult woman. He can't hurt me. But you... You are so young, your first experience should not be with a grown man who forces you to have sex with him.

Thinking the conversation over, Fara heated her milk again, which had cooled, and made for herself another cup of coffee. Before going to work, she covered the marks left by Silvo with make-up and left her hair down to mask them further.

As in Jod's plans, the central system that controlled the droids was put back online within a few days and he was the only one who had the codes to change their programming. Now there were trusted people in the control room who managed its activities and the supervisor's robotic brain had been dismantled and taken away.

The next day the mint started working again and the population was put back to work, only now they were working to enrich Silvo and his pirates.

For most of the inhabitants of At Attin, life began again as before, with the added knowledge that they now had cruel and capricious masters who could harm them with impunity for no reason at all.

The dead were buried, debris disposed of and schools, hospitals, and offices reopened.

Fern too returned to school. She, who had often skipped classes preferring to go racing with the speederbike in the woods or dallying with KB, began to attend school diligently, because one of Jod's men, Vane, escorted her back and forth waiting for her outside in the courtyard for the duration of the lessons. Also, going to school guaranteed her some freedom and allowed her to leave the house, where she had been confined since her return. Facing the stares of her classmates was difficult: the rumour that she, KB and two children from the lower classes had disappeared only to return with the pirates and that the adults had agreed to let them pass through the barrier to save their lives, had spread around. Fortunately, KB had taken on the role of defender, alongside with Wim. If anyone had bothered to notice that Fern, usually the more aggressive and talkative of the two, was now silent and allowed herself to be insulted and shoved around with impunity, they had said nothing. It had been nice to hug KB again who, after their return to school, the same afternoon, had shown up at her house, convincing her threatening bodyguard to let her in with the excuse of studying and doing homework.

Her friend had been stunned when, instead of taking her to her room, she had made her sit in the larger double bedroom that had belonged to her mother. Vane had stayed downstairs playing a solitaire game of sabbac, guaranteeing the two girls some privacy.

KB had immediately noticed her friend's things in the room and Jod's shirt thrown on a chair.

-Oh no.

She had exclaimed in a faint voice.

-Is he staying here? With you?

Fern nodded and then sat on the bed, pulling her legs up and crossing them. KB had imitated her.

-Yes, but he's not bothering me so much anymore.

Jod no longer touched her when they were in bed together, he just slept by her side. Only now and then did it happen that, sitting next to her during dinner which he always shared with Fern and Fara, he would play with her hair or put an arm on her shoulders. Fern lowered her gaze.

-He has mother now. She... She keeps him busy, so he doesn't come to me.

KB was silent.

-Mom says that I don't have to worry, that she knows how to handle him, that it's easy for her. She says that the important thing is that he doesn't touch me anymore. But I'm worried. Oh, KB! I feel so guilty!

Her best friend had hugged her.

-Listen to your mother. If his attention has shifted from you to her, that's better, right?

Fern had shaken her head.

-Jod said that I'm the one he wants, that for now he'll settle for mom but that when I'm grown up, he'll start again.

She stretched out her arm pointing to the room.

-We still sleep in the same bedroom, this has not changed. Only now, in bed, we just sleep.

KB had been helpless in the face of her friend's despair, failing, even with her sharp intelligence, to find a solution other than escape. Escape, however, that was impossible unless they found a way to make the entire population flee.

-If we escape, he would hurt our parents. If we escape with them, he could take it out on the rest of the population and I would not be able to live with such guilt on my conscience. There were 54 casualties during the attack and another 8 in the riots that followed.

KB had revealed her, full of frustration. In the end they had really done their homework, catching up for the time lost during their adventure on the Onyx Cinder. Fara, upon returning home, had wrapped KB in a warm hug, thanking her for being such a good friend.

Unfortunately, instead of things improving at school, they got worse. After a few days of calm, the information of exactly where the pirate leader lived filtered from parents to children and the looks of suspicion and hatred towards Fern doubled. Even what was suspected about the relationship between the captain and Fara came out and the looks were followed first by barbs and later by whispered insults as she passed. In the end a girl a few years older than Fern had the courage to tell her to her face, during the mid-morning break she shared with all the other students in the courtyard, that her mother was a slut and that she was receiving a favoured treatment because she slept with the pirate captain. Fern saw red and hit the other girl. A scuffle ensued with punches, shoves, screams and hair pulling. Fern discovered that she had a lot of anger in her body and the more she hit her opponent the more the anger mounted, so much so that she didn't even feel the blows that the other one was delivering to her. It was not right what was happening to her. Her mother was not to blame for what Jod forced her to do, they had no right to use that word for her. The adults came running, attracted by the screams. However, the first to reach them was Vane, her bodyguard, who grabbed Fern's opponent and separated her from his captain's concubine before punching her in the stomach and slapping her violently. The students, who until then had screamed to encourage or try to stop the two contenders, fell silent in the face of the pirate's violence. The slap had thrown the older girl to the ground and the man lifted a boot, to hit her again. Fern jumped on his back, screaming not to do it, and the pirate stopped, shaking her off because he didn't want Silvo's concubine to touch him and for the captain to learn about it.

-What happens here?

One of the teachers had finally reached the scene of the fight and knelt beside the moaning body of the girl Vane had hit. Soon the other teachers arrived and dispersed the students, quickly making them return to class.

-They were fighting.

Vane commented.

-I separated them.

-There was no reason to hit this poor girl!

The teacher had exclaimed, helping the unfortunate girl to get up.

-It's intolerable! This is a school, not a boxing ring!

The last sentence had been addressed to Fern, whom the pirate held behind him with an outstretched arm, as if he had to defend her from the teachers and from the girl who, bleeding and limping, was being taken to the infirmary.

-I just do my job. The captain told me to watch over her.

Fern stiffened with terror. Everyone thought that his mother was Jod's lover, but what would happen if Vane uttered the word concubine referring it to her? It would be the end and she would no longer have the courage to leave the house.

-It's my fault!

Fern hastened to clarify, stepping out of the pirate's dubious protection and facing the accusing looks of her teachers.

-Zelda provoked me and I attacked her. I take full responsibility for it. I will accept any punishment you want to deal to me.

The pirate frowned disgruntledly but then he shrugged. His job was to protect the captain's girl, to make sure that no one hurt her and that she did not try to escape, not to prevent her from getting into trouble with her teachers.

They gave her a five-day suspension and an official warning that was going to remain in her school curriculum and that, if things were different, would prevent her from obtaining a position in management once she was assigned the job she was supposed to do as an adult. Now that At Attin had become a pirate planet, however, certain things no longer mattered: it was their new masters who decided who was given command positions and management roles were no longer assigned by the supervisor that had been dismantled.

Jod gave his man a scolding that night when he came home and found Fern with a black eye and a split lip. Fern didn't even pay attention: her mother had scolded her too for a long time for her behaviour.

Jod had then taken the girl aside, led her to their room and had her tell him what had happened.

-I started it.

Fern had admitted.

-A girl at school said bad things about my mother. Because of you! And I defended her.

-What exactly did this girl say?

Jod had asked through gritted teeth, annoyed for being blamed for the trouble that had befallen Fern.

-She said that... that she is a slut. They know what you do to her, only they blame her instead of you!

Fern had turned against Jod in an angry voice, her face contracted into a mask of rage. Jod had curled his lips and reacted with cruelty.

-They say she's my whore? What would they say if they knew that you are the one who sleeps with me every night?

Fern had inhaled loudly and turned pale.

-No, don't tell them!

-You're ashamed, aren’t you?

Jod had approached her and Fern had pulled back until she hit a wardrobe. Jod had placed his hand against the piece of furniture behind her and bent down, brushing her cheek with the tip of his nose, getting closer than he had in a long time. Fern stiffened.

-Fern.

He whispered in a hoarse voice. He had sworn to himself that he would leave her alone and his method was working. Fern was no longer a terrified victim who didn't react to him in any way other than disgust and fear. She had regained confidence, looked him in the face, answered him back and she was once again the sour and grumpy girl he had known and who had attracted him in first place. He had counted the days and it had been exactly two weeks since he had kissed her. He brushed her soft and round cheek with his lips, kissed the profile of her jaw and then her neck, under the ear, licking the skin up to the joint with her shoulder. He had missed her taste. It wasn’t the same with Fara: she was an attractive woman and in bed she satisfied him but between them there was always Fern. The girl trembled convulsively and Jod lifted his head, looking into her face. She had her eyes closed and the grimace she was making looked almost one of pain. He ran a thumb between her furrowed eyebrows.

-We won't tell anyone.

He whispered. She opened her eyes, confused.

-What will we not tell?

She asked in a faint voice.

-That you are my concubine. I won't tell any of the people on At Attin, but my people know and I can't control what they say to your people. We can only hope that it doesn’t become public knowledge.

He took a step back, giving her space.

-The loading operations of the mint's gold are completed. There is still a lot of gold in the safes but we cannot take more. We have split the spoils and the day after tomorrow we will depart.

Fern looked at him with growing horror.

-Are we leaving? Already? I thought that... I thought we would stay on At Attin!

Jod shook his head and hurriedly calmed her down.

-Me and half of my men will leave. You and your mother stay here.

Fern closed her eyes in relief and slumped against the closet.

-Don't get too relaxed though. We will be back soon.

Jod admonished her.

-My crew is eager to spend their share of the treasure. Many have dreams that they can finally fulfil. I will accompany them with the Libertas. Then we will be back. I will leave command to Pax here on At Attin. Today I appointed him as my first officer.

It didn't take Jod long to choose Pax over Koma: Pax was eager and loyal but not particularly smart and above all he was not a leader. Koma was competent and well-liked by the whole crew and, after what had happened with Brutus, Jod was reluctant to have someone by his side who could be seen as a valid alternative to him for command. However, he had waited a long time before taking a decision because he liked Koma and did not want to antagonize her. When he appointed Pax, he wanted to be the one to tell her and explain the reason for his choice. But there had been no need: Koma had asked to speak to him privately and had told him of her intention to leave the crew. With her share of the loot, she had decided to retire and buy the ship she had long dreamed of, to enlist a crew of her own and move to the Inner Rim, transporting goods and retiring from piracy to start a legal business.

-If you leave, however, you will not have any more gold. If you stay, the mint will keep on producing credits: your part will never end!

-I don't get younger, Silvo.

She had commented with her usual stoic air.

-I have to think about my future.

After Koma, others had approached him with the same request. Bitterly, Jod had thought that leaving him were his most able, bravest and most reliable men and women, and those who remained were the most unstable, violent and greedy, those who had never had a prospect or a dream and who had never been able to plan for a future other than the next ship, the next loot, the next tavern where they would spend everything on spices, alcohol and whores.

He looked critically at Fern, what he was about to say would surely not please her.

-Tomorrow night I have organized a feast at my frigate. A last dinner all together because some will not return with me: they have decided to leave the crew. You're going to come with me. Think about what you want to wear.

He brushed her shirt collar with his finger.

-Something nice, maybe from the concubine's trunks.

Fern grimaced discontentedly. She and KB had had a look inside these trunks but there was nothing decent. Veils, transparent and obscene dresses or clothes too big for her.

-Ask your mother to help you with your face.

Jod sighed.

-Everyone will think I hit you.

He groaned, shaking his head.

The afternoon of the next day, KB came to her home where Fern was again confined until her punishment was over and helped her choose her dress for that evening. They divided the indecent ones from the decent but too big ones and in the end they were left with few options. The best was definitely the black voluminous skirt with the matching bodice: the garment that covered her the most. The other two dresses had sleeves but they were low-cut and short and Fern didn't want Jod to put a hand under her skirt again. So she opted for the black two-pieces dress, wearing a silk shirt under the bodice to cover her shoulders and arms. Her mother, her lips pursed to express all her disapproval for where Jod wanted to take her daughter, applied the makeup to cover as much as possible the bruise around her eye and the wound on her lip. However, nothing could be done about the swelling. Fern thought Jod would approve but when he came to pick her up, he visibly blanched seeing how she was dressed.

-No.

He had growled, pointing to the stairs.

-Go back up and change.

Then he turned to Fara.

-I want you to take that dress and get rid of it. I don't want to see it ever again.

The girl and her mother exchanged an astonished look. Fern couldn't understand why Jod hated that dress so much: the last time she had put it on he had told her that it looked very good on her.

However, she lifted her too-long skirt and went up the stairs, followed closely by Jod and Fara, who did not want to leave her daughter alone with that man if she had to change her clothes.

-There is not much choice.

Fern complained once they reached the bedroom. The trunks were open and Jod could see that someone had rummaged through the clothes. He randomly approached one and picked up a red garment.

-The skirt is practically non-existent.

Fern informed him. Jod lifted it: the satin skirt was barely a span long and thin strips of beads hung to cover the legs. He threw it back into the trunk.

-This?

With both hands he showed her a long blue dress that would cover her from the collarbone to her feet, leaving her back completely uncovered.

-The top is too long. Instead of stopping at my hips, it goes down almost to my thigh.

It had been Fern's first choice but when she had worn it the fabric had piled up at the waist and there was no way to squeeze it around her hips, leaving her too much exposed.

Jod tossed the dress into the trunk, with a frustrated exclamation.

-You don't have anything in your closet at all?

He had asked her, exasperated. He begun to open her drawers and closet doors and then froze, putting his arm inside and pulling out a blue silky dress.

Fern's eyes had opened wide: she had forgotten about that dress.

-It won't fit.

She warned him.

-Mom bought it for my birthday, almost a year ago. It will be small.

Jod looked at it critically. It was a whole piece, covering her shoulders but leaving her arms uncovered. It had a modest round neckline and a medium-short skirt with an underskirt that gave it some bulkiness.

-Try it on.

He had ordered her, handing it over. Fern had snatched it from his hand with an angry cry and had retired to the bathroom. She had come out shortly after, holding the blue dress up with her hands.

-I can't close it on my back. I told you: it's too tight.

In a couple of steps Jod was in front of her before her mother could intervene and, taking her by the shoulders, had made her turn around. He had grabbed the zipper and, holding the flaps of her dress in place with his other hand, had pulled it up, with some effort.

-Arch your back. No! Don't breathe!

Finally the dress closed and Fern turned around.

-I can’t breathe, I don't know if I will be able to eat anything.

Jod swallowed. The upper part of the dress, which should have fit her right when the dress had been bought, now was so tight that left nothing to the imagination. Fern's breasts were well outlined and only the fact that the dress came with a bodice sewn inside prevented him from seeing her nipples. The skirt left her knees uncovered.

-Beautiful.

Jod whispered, and Fara wrung her hands in anxiety.

-The dress is too small, Fern is right.

The woman tried to protest, but Jod had decided.

-The dress is fine. Now, some accessories.

He put his hand on the girl's back and pushed her out of their room and into her mother's, where he began to rummage in Fara's jewellery box from where he took a pair of delicate jewels that were to be applied to the contour of the ears, in gold and lapis lazuli and put them on Fern. Then from the woman's hair accessories, he took a comb with a small flower decoration with blue petals, of a colour very similar to that of the girl's dress and lifted a lock of hair from the right side, pinning it with the comb, letting the hair on the left side fall on her forehead and eye, overshadowing the bruise. He walked some steps away to admire the result. Fern was really beautiful, the dress was bold but covered her well enough.

-Fara? Do you have some lipstick? Something light, that is not very noticeable.

The woman had inhaled loudly, angry, but had found a flesh-coloured lip gloss that made her daughter's pale lips slightly darker.

-Now you are perfect.

The man had commented. He had taken Fern's hand and kissed it, as a gentleman would. Fern had looked away, unable to do anything else to express her refusal.

Jod's feast on the Libertas was the same as the ones Fern had already attended to, except that her friends were not sitting at the table, although she was not the only citizen of At Attin to participate.

Jod had smiled and toasted with his men and women and had made her sit on his lap, like all the other times but he had not tried to touch her indecently. In his arms, Fern had been able to feel how tense he was, even if she didn't know if it was anger or distress. She couldn't decipher his expression when he looked at the other women from At Attin who were sitting next to or on the lap of some of his men.

What Jod felt was closer to irritation than anger. It was not a pleasant surprise to find that his men had decided to imitate him and co-opt some local women as their concubines. There were no brothels on At Attin, no prostitutes. He had strictly forbidden rape and violence from the beginning but evidently his men had found a way to get what they wanted. None of those women seemed happy to be there. A togruta was even crying silently while the pirate who was holding her on his lap shamelessly clutched her breasts in front of everyone. The only meagre consolation was that Fern was the youngest. There were no girls but only grown women. With a guilty grimace, Jod realized that over the years he had eliminated all paedophiles from his crew, dismissing or killing all those he caught abusing children and that the only one left was him.

Something wet fell on his hand. Fern's shoulders were shaking and he noticed that she was crying. He put down his cup and put his hand on her cheek, turning her face towards him.

-Why are you weeping?

He whispered through clenched teeth. She kept her eyes closed and tears fell from her eyelashes while the foundation that her mother had applied to her got mixed with her tears. She opened her mouth to speak but a sob escaped. Helpless and aware that his men's eyes were on him, Jod could only offer her a shoulder where she could hide her face and continue crying.

He gritted his teeth and grimaced, turning to his crew with what could barely be called a smile.

-Why are you weeping, Fern?

He asked her again, barely moving his lips. She sighed, shaking against his chest.

-They saw me.

She moaned.

-They know who I am and they will tell everyone.

With one hand she clung to his shirt and continued to cry and sob. For Jod it was not a pleasant dinner. His men and women ignored the desperate young girl on his lap, but the other women in At Attin looked at them. There was no way to mistake Fern for Fara. Soon it would be known who his concubine really was. Irritated, Jod emptied the cup in a few sips and motioned for Pax to refill it.

The party soon degenerated. Men especially, but also some women, overindulged in drinking. Fights broke out and a couple of pirates let themselves be carried away so much so that they nearly had sex at the table. Their neighbours poured wine on their head, whistling and shouting at them to find a room. They got up and, kissing and laughing, did exactly that.

It was late at night when the party ended. Most of the crew had gone to their bed to sober up or to someone else’ bed, when Jod decided he'd had had enough.

Fern's makeup was ruined and the skin on her face was spotty, the bruise under her eye was a bright bluish, purple colour. The bruise had attracted many looks, both from the pirates and from the women of At Attin. At one point Fern had dozed off against his chest and Jod had to wake her up before getting up. In any other circumstance he would have taken the opportunity to carry her in his arms but he had exaggerated with the wine and did not feel very stable on his legs. They reached Fara's house anyway, the lights were on and Fara was waiting up for them. Jod entrusted a Fern who was practically sleeping on her feet to her mother, telling her to put her daughter to bed and then made himself a black and strong coffee.

Fara joined him in the kitchen after a while.

-Go to bed too, Fara. I'm too tired tonight. I need sleep.

The woman did not need to be told twice and disappeared upstairs. Jod finished his coffee and, feeling more lucid, went to the bedroom. Fern was already asleep, her head on the pillow and the blankets presumably tucked in by her mother. She was adorable, and Jod paused for a moment to admire her. He would miss her. He took off his boots, undressed and then joined her under the sheets, lying so close to her that he rested his head close to her hair, falling asleep instantly.

He woke up in the morning with a kneaded mouth, a ferocious headache, hugging Fern, excited and completely naked. The girl was still asleep but moved as soon as he tried to extricate himself from her, turning and opening her eyes. Her sleepy gaze met his horror-filled gaze. She blinked and then realized that her hands were resting on Jod's bare chest and that he was not wearing any kind of clothing. She opened her mouth, inhaling deeply to scream but Jod covered it with one hand, rolling over her to immobilize her as she began to struggle and kick.

-Silence or you will wake up your mother. Stay still! Stop it, dammit!

Fern was shaking and breathing rapidly, but she froze.

-Good. Now I’ll remove my hand, don't scream.

Jod took his hand from her mouth and she didn't scream but closed her eyes.

-You are naked.

She pointed out to him in a whisper.

-Yes, well... Last night I came to bed drunk.

His member twitched, moving against her leg and Fern moaned but not with pleasure.

-I usually sleep naked. I started coming to bed dressed since I shared a bad with you. Maybe yesterday I undressed without thinking about it.

Fern was warm and soft, and Jod considered satisfying his arousal with her. But then he shook his head: it would have been satisfying but it would have erased in one fell swoop the progress made in the last two weeks.

-I'll get up now, okay?

She nodded and he, slowly and without making any sudden movements, detached himself from her and sat up on the edge of the bed, massaging his temples. Behind him, he heard Fern move scooting away from him. He stood up, not at all embarrassed by his nakedness, and left the room, walked down the corridor and entered Fara's room without knocking, sat down on the edge of her bed and shook her by the shoulder.

-Fara, wake up.

The woman turned to him, opening her eyes.

-Silvo? What time is it?

He did not answer but took her hand and brought it to his member.

-Wake up Fara.

He repeated, wrapping her fingers around himself. The woman woke up with a start.

-What...?

Jod pushed the sheets aside, uncovering her. He took her by the shoulder and made her stand up, pushing her to the ground in front of him.

-Open your mouth.

Fara was now wide awake and her face became a mask of horror.

-My mouth?

She asked him in a high-pitched voice. Then she shook her head.

-No.

She refused. Jod looked at her without understanding. Then he grabbed her by the back of the head and tried to push her head towards him. She put her hands against his thighs.

-I said no. I'll have sex with you if you want but not that.

-Why?

He asked him, incredulous. She blushed.

-I’ve never done it.

She admitted through gritted teeth.

-Never? How is this possible? You have no problem doing everything else but have never had oral sex?

-Sometimes my lovers have asked me, but I always refused.

She assumed a vaguely disgusted expression.

-It seems unhygienic.

Jod shook his head.

-Unbelievable...

Then he smiled slowly.

-Will I be your first?

-I don't want to.

Fara insisted. He closed his fist, pulling at her hair.

-Last night I went to bed half drunk and I undressed. This morning Fern was very surprised to see me like this: naked and hard.

Fara widened her eyes.

-Do I have to go back to her because you’re rejecting me?

-No.

Fara whispered, turning pale.

-Good. Then... do as I say.

He took himself by the base and guided Fara's head until her breath touched him.

-Open your lips and let it slide into your mouth. Just like this.

She moaned in disgust, closing her eyes so not to see him, and he moaned with pleasure as he slipped on her tongue.

-Don't swallow, the more saliva there is, the better. Don't worry if you drool.

He laughed softly and threw his head back. It felt very good, at least until he looked at Fara's frightened face. He let go of her hair, but kept on holding her by the nape.

-Don't worry, it will not hurt. Use your tongue and be careful with your teeth. Don’t scratch me.

It was obvious that Fara had no experience. She just offered him a hot hole without participating at all, and Jod moaned loudly, closing his eyes again. It was easy to imagine a reluctant Fern in her place. With both hands he took her by the head, slowly moving her back and forth, entering only with the tip to avoid hitting the bottom of her throat and activating her gag reflex.

-Very well, like that, you're doing fine.

He encouraged her, trembling.

-You're perfect, oh, Fern...

She was shaken by silent sobs, and he felt hot tears wetting his fingers.

-I'm almost done. Not long now...

Once he felt that the orgasm was impossible to prevent, he quickly extracted himself from her mouth: he didn't want to upset her further by coming inside and so he poured himself on her neck and clothes.

He opened his eyes again: Fara was red-faced and crying.

-Damn it to the Abyss!

He growled and ran a hand over his face. His semen dripped from her chin mixed with saliva.

-I'm sorry.

He admitted, feeling ashamed. He had nothing to help her clean herself with. Fara's eyes widened and she stood up abruptly, turning around and walking quickly out of the bedroom. After a few moments Jod followed her and saw her disappear into the bathroom. He reached her in time to have the door slammed in his face. He beat with his palm on the door and then he heard the water running and immediately after the unmistakable sound of someone vomiting. He banged the door again with his fist and tried the handle but she had locked herself inside.

- Damn it to the Abyss!

He exclaimed again. Then he saw movement out of the corner of her eye: Fern's head was sticking out of the threshold of their room but quickly disappeared when she realized she had been seen.

-Fern!

He walked towards her but froze before reaching the door. He was naked. He bit his lip but then sighed: he had no other choice.

-I’m entering.

He warned her, but she had already locked herself in the bathroom and so Jod quickly dressed before going down to the kitchen. His hands were shaking, he kept on seeing Fara's red and tearful face again and again and he felt disgusted with himself. His throat closed up and he felt an acrid taste on his tongue, as if he had been the one with a cock in his throat until a few minutes before. Something in his unconscious stirred but Jod pushed it down ferociously, to the black void where his nightmares dwelled. Feeling guilty, he prepared breakfast for everyone and then waited for one of the two to show up. It was Fern who came down first, with a belligerent expression.

-What did you do to my mother, you vermin? I heard her crying in the bathroom.

Jod sipped his coffee and pointed out to the crackers and milk he knew she used to eat for breakfast.

-Eat. I’ll go up to apologize to her.

He put down his coffee and poured a steaming cup for Fara and then went upstairs. He glanced at the bedroom but she wasn't there. He continued to the bathroom and knocked.

-Open the door, Fara.

He thought he should have insisted a lot but instead the woman opened immediately. She was dressed, her hair done and ready for the morning. She was also furious.

-Don't you ever dare force me again, you disgusting bastard.

She hissed.

-When a woman says no it is no. It's a lesson you should have learned, but evidently you never did, if you sexually harass my daughter and blackmail me for sex.

Jod looked away, feeling guilty and feeling sick in his stomach.

-I... I'm sorry. It will not happen again.

-You better.

Fara growled.

-I swear to you.

Jod met her angry gaze and emphasized his words, putting in it all the sincerity he felt in that moment.

-It will never happen again.

-What, above all, must never happen again...

She hissed angrily at him.

-It's that you call me by my daughter's name. It's repulsive that you do those things to me and imagine doing them to her. Revolting and reprehensible!

Jod jerked. He didn't realize he had said Fern's name. He often imagined her when he was with Fara but until then he had been careful not to let his fantasies slip. He swallowed and then handed her the steaming cup, hoping she wouldn't throw it in his face.

-For you: a peace offer.

She accepted the coffee, without changing her expression, and Jod decided that a strategic retreat was the better strategy. He collected from the room he shared with Fern the few things he wished to take with him and boarded to his frigate fervently hoping that, by the time he returned, Fara's anger would have cooled.

The Libertas docked in Porto Borgo with Captain Silvo again in command after leaving captained by Brutus. No one batted an eye at this, what caused a sensation were the pockets full of dataries of the Old Republic belonging to the pirates who got off the frigate and that most of those pirates came down with their belongings loaded in trunks and bags, looking for a passage to Inner Rim planets.

The news that Silvo had finally had the stroke of luck that every pirate dreamed of run swiftly through the entire asteroid.

Having seen Glerb get off with his luggage, Jod hurried to intercept Koma at her cabin. When the woman opened the door, he was leaning against the doorframe, his hands in his pockets and a smile that split his face in two. She snorted and folded her arms.

-What do you want?

She asked him, raising an eyebrow. He peered over her shoulder, seeing her luggage piled up on the floor and the cabin bare.

-I wanted to make you a proposal, before you disappear from my life forever. You can leave tomorrow. Come to the port with me tonight, we'll get drunk and share a whore, for old times’ sake.

She seemed indecisive, frowning and glancing at her things, already packed. Then she sighed.

-All right. But you are paying.

He beamed at her.

-I'll wait for you at the ferry.

And that was how they found themselves at the brothel of Porto Borgo, drinking the best rum of the house, reminiscing about the good old days and watching the whores who were putting a show for them.

-You get to choose, Koma. After all, it's my parting gift. For the Abyss, I will miss you. You were my best man.

She laughed loudly.

-And this makes you understand what kind of incompetents you surround yourself with, Silvo!

She patted him on the shoulder and then stood up, making a beeline for her favourite whore.

Jod emptied his glass in a single gulp. He had drunk more than she did, but it didn't matter. He had told the truth: Koma had always been his favourite crewmate and he was going to struggle a lot to find someone as capable as her. Before he knew it, the woman had returned with a whore under her arm: a pale woman with generous curves, a bob of straight black hair and dark eyes. She was wearing a short blue skirt and nothing else.

Jod stood up and looked at her from head to toe, with a lascivious smile.

-Great choice!

He complimented Koma, then went to the other side of the whore and put his hand on her backside, cupping a feel, and together the trio headed upstairs, where the bedrooms were.

As soon as they entered the bedroom, Jod hugged the whore from behind, firmly grabbing one of her breasts and kissing her neck. The other hand he used to push her skirt aside and feel what was underneath. Like all the brothel whores, she was not wearing underwear. She was dry but Koma joined him, kissing her on the mouth and feeling her other breast. The whore moaned and finally began to get wet.

-Strip her.

Jod whispered in her ear, stepping back slightly to allow her to carry out his order.

The whore with agile and expert hands removed Koma's light armour, without stopping kissing her. Meanwhile, Jod removed her short skirt. In no time at all the two women were naked and laid down on the bed, kissing, touching and moaning. Jod hurried to undress too, before joining them.

Koma lay on her back, the whore on top of her kissing her, caressing her breasts. Jod grabbed her by the hips and shoulder, positioning her until her head was between the woman's thighs and pushed her down by the back of her neck. There was no need for any more encouragement because the whore enthusiastically began to touch and lick Koma, tormenting her nipple with her hand that was not on her sex. Jod, kneeling behind her, reaching from behind and found her ready and excited. He entered her and began to move slowly to allow her to focus on the woman she was servicing. After all, the night was mostly for Koma. The slow pace allowed him to appreciate every moment. He held the whore's pelvis still and moved rhythmically, groaning and his cries were accompanied by the whore's gasps and Koma's moans. It was a beautiful harmony of pleasure and Jod smiled, closing his eyes and letting himself be carried away by the sensations.

The first to came was Koma, which was rare because it was usually Jod who finished first. However, he followed her shortly after, taking advantage that he no longer had to be careful not to make the whore lose her rhythm to detach her from the woman and make her lay on her back, lying on top of her and lifting her legs to start fucking her at a fast pace. Usually he would also take the opportunity to kiss her because of where the whore's mouth had been: Jod liked the taste of a woman who had reached orgasm but he knew that Koma was really annoying about it and so he avoided doing it.

Now, only the whore had still to orgasm and Koma laughed, knowing that Jod wouldn't be happy until she got there too. She kissed her, joining Jod's hand on her sex. As Jod's fingers moved inside her, Koma's stroked her outside and the whore came too, screaming.

Koma settled more comfortably on the bed, her back on the pillows, and took a spice stick from her clothes tossed to the floor. Jod laid sideways, Koma's feet pressing into his side. The whore put her skirt back on and left.

-Want some?

Koma handed him the stick, after having a drag. Jod hesitated for a moment but then nodded.

-I usually try to avoid spices.

He warned her, inhaling deeply.

-I warn you that I will become... weird. Don't take it badly.

-It's spice, Silvo.

She looked at him.

-It makes everyone weird.

He passed the stick back to her.

-Not as weird as me.

They spent a few minutes in silence, sharing the spice between them.

-Do you reckon Tele had fun?

Koma asked in a nonchalant tone. The man smiled, relaxed: the spice was beginning to take hold.

-I’d say yes.

-Tele only likes women. Men disgust her.

The woman continued. Silvo narrowed his eyes, dumbfounded.

-But she had an orgasm. She liked it!

Koma snorted and inhaled from the stick.

-You like women, Silvo. And you like to make them happy. It's one thing I've always appreciated about you: the way you treat even whores. But you don't understand women and how they work, even if you are able to manipulate their bodies to get what you want.

Jod remained silent, trying to figure out what her angle was. He felt something inside his mind moving, stirring. He held out his hand, silently inviting Koma to give him the stick. He inhaled deeply and when he spoke the words that came out of his mouth were not dictated by his conscious thought.

-Say what you have to say, Koma. I have to listen to what you’ll tell me, the advice you give me. I have to listen to you and follow it. That is why we are here tonight.

Koma bent her head, Silvo had spoken flatly and his eyes had looked towards her but without seeing her. She shuddered.

-You weren't joking when you said spice makes you weird.

He squinted and rubbed his forehead.

-Ah, damn it. I hate it when it happens. No more spices for me.

-What's going on, Silvo?

He finally looked at her, with a confused expression.

-My talent for foresight is minimal, but spice increases it. It allows me to see the best possible future and the way to achieve it but it makes me confused: I can't distinguish what is real from what could be.

Koma burst out laughing.

-Do you want me to believe that you can see the future? If that were the case, you wouldn't have let Brutus put one over you!

-I try to avoid using the Force if I can.

He muttered.

-The Force?

She mocked him.

-Since when do you believe in these magical fairy tales?

He looked at her askance and then, instead of passing her the stick, he balanced it in the palm of his hand. Suddenly, the stick started to hover and then it floated up to Koma, falling between her breasts.

-By the Abyss!

She whispered, lifting the stick with a trembling hand. Jod laughed.

-How do you think I managed to beat Brutus? Without the Force, that beast would have torn me to pieces with his claws.

-Are you a Jedi?

She whispered, full of wonder. Silvo shook his head and sighed.

-No. I was born too late. They didn't find me in time but maybe it was a good thing: if I had been in the temple when it burned, I would have died along with all the other children. After the establishment of the empire, a Jedi found me and trained me as best as she could, before getting killed. My education was very negligible, believe me.

They remained silent, Koma pondering on what he had revealed to her.

-I never knew... Why tell me now?

He shrugged and groaned.

-I didn't mean to tell you. It was the spice. I told you: it makes me weird. It increases my foresight.

He sighed again.

-Come on Koma, tell me what you have to tell me. Apparently, I need to follow the advice you will give me.

Koma grimaced.

-I wanted to speak with you about your concubine.

Silvo made a face.

-Funny: I also wanted to talk to you about Fern.

He groaned, covering his eyes with one arm.

-It’s better if you speak first. What you have to tell me is more important than the questions I wanted to ask you. Or maybe it's the answer to the questions I wanted to ask you.

Koma remained silent for a while.

-I don't know what happened to you, Silvo.

She began in a low tone.

-As I said before: I have always appreciated how you treat women. Maybe you don't fully understand women, but you try, in your own way, to treat them well. And then that little girl arrived.

The woman shook her head.

-I had never seen you with a little girl before, I would never have believed it possible, if I had not seen it with my own eyes. Also, I had never even seen you hit a woman, at least not one who didn't hit back as hard as you did.

Jod pulled himself up, leaning on his elbows.

-Hey, wait a minute! I didn't hit her!

He defended himself, frowning.

-Fern got into a fight with another girl at school!

Koma's face was filled with amazement.

-At school? Your concubine goes to school?

Jod nodded.

-Obviously: she is still young. She certainly doesn't work! Where else should she be all day long?

Koma smiled at him.

-Oh, Silvo... I meant that it seemed strange to me that you would allow her to go to school. It's a good thing.

Jod still didn't understand.

-Koma, she is not my slave. She has a life outside of me. School, friends, family. She is not my prisoner.

Koma sighed.

-You make it sound obvious but it is not. Usually a concubine does nothing but service her master.

Jod gasped.

-Koma! I’m not having sex with Fern!

He dropped back on the mattress and covered his face with both hands.

-This is my problem, this is what I wanted to talk to you about.

-Maybe I judged you too hastily. I thought you had already fucked her. Why say she's your concubine if she's not your concubine? I saw you with her: I saw you kiss her and touch her. Why do you treat her as if she were your lover if she isn’t? What exactly do you do with her?

Jod moaned in frustration and ran his hands through his hair, scratching his scalp.

-I don't know what I'm doing with her. She's too young for what I want from her but I can't let either her go nor stop. I know it's wrong, Koma. I'm not a monster even if lately I've felt like one. Fern's mother accused me of not accepting a no for an answer but...

The man waved his hands in the air as if he could grasp the words he was missing.

-When a woman says no to me, for me it means "not yet". Usually I don't insist: if they don't want me, it's their loss. Sometimes I insist but if they don't give in, I move on to someone else. The galaxy is full of beautiful women who don't play hard to get.

Jod shook his head.

-It's the first time I want someone so badly that I don't care if she resists me. It is the first time that ...

He let his arms fall back on the bed and Koma finished the sentence for him with a voice full of reproach.

-The first time you have to use violence to get what you want.

Jod swallowed hard but did not deny her words.

-I don’t want to stop.

He repeated softly.

-I want her so badly. I think of her all the time. Even in the company of the whore from before: I was thinking of Fern.

Koma sighed.

-You got it badly for her, don’t you Silvo? I would use the word love but if you were in love with that poor girl, you would not abuse her like that.

Jod had a start.

-I don't abuse her!

He growled.

-Yes, you do.

Koma restated, giving him a slight kick in the side.

-You kiss her, you touch her when she doesn't want you to, you make her cry and she is terrified of you. You may not have had sex with her but it's still a violence. That's what I meant when I said that you don't understand women even if you know how to manipulate their bodies: do you think Tele enjoyed having an orgasm with you? No, Silvo. She hated every moment. As soon as she got out of here, I’m sure she run to wash herself to get rid of your smell. You do not distinguish a physical reaction of pleasure from the feeling of pleasure. This is your problem, your handicap. I bet you tried the same trick with that girl: you didn't hurt her, you didn't rape her and maybe you even managed to give her pleasure when you touched her. But that doesn't mean she likes what you do to her. Can you tell the difference?

Jod stood silently staring at the ceiling, his face devoid of any expression.

-I want to fuck her, Koma. But I don't know how to get there. You're right: I gave her pleasure and she... she hurt herself for... punish herself or something. I got scared: I don't want to hurt her but I was hurting her. And so I stopped. I haven't touched her in more than two weeks. I fuck her mother but she's just an outlet. Fara hates me. Fern despises me.

He sighed and grimaced.

-You're right: I don't distinguish physical pleasure from the feeling of pleasure. I hurt Fara. I thought I was... kind. I didn't use violence, I never forced her except the last time. But you're right: she doesn't like what I do to her, I'm blackmailing her. And Fern didn't like what I did to her either, she would never have agreed to let me touch her if I hadn't forced her. Help me Koma. I don't know what to do!

-Move on to someone who appreciates your attentions?

Koma sarcastically proposed to him. Jod shook his head resolutely.

-I can't get her out of my head. It's like a disease, some kind of obsession! Maybe, if I could fuck her, I would get rid of it, but I can't!

Koma narrowed her eyes, thoughtful.

-Why not? Rape her and scratch the itch.

Jod turned to look at her, shocked.

-I would never! It’s… horrible what you suggested! Fern is a child, she is too young, she is not physically ready, she would not be even if she wanted it too! If I force her...

Jod looked nauseated.

-I can't...

He repeated in a faint voice. Koma smiled at him.

-I'm glad you say so. You wouldn't be the man I always thought you were if you agreed.

-Have you just tested me?

He asked her, annoyed. She nodded.

-Don't be offended. If you want my advice, I need to know what's on your mind and what you're willing to do. So: there's no chance of letting her go, right?

Jod nodded.

-You want to fuck her but you can't, not now, right?

Jod nodded again.

-Do you want her to say yes to you one day, do you want her to be willingly, possibly enthusiastic about the idea of having your attention and to give herself to you?

Jod waved his hand, indicating to move on.

-Do you want to be her first?

The woman asked curiously. Jod blinked, dumbfounded.

-Yes? Honestly, I never thought of another possibility: it is obvious that no one had ever touched her. If I continue, it is obvious that I will be her first.

-But if she has already had other experiences, perhaps with someone she has chosen for herself, then it will be easier.

Jod grimaced.

-I would go crazy with jealousy knowing that she gives to another what she doesn’t want to give to me.

He admitted. Koma shook her head.

-You like to complicate your life, Silvo.

Then she assumed a decisive expression.

-I can't assure you that what I'm about to tell you will work. Every woman is different and a lot depends on how you have treated her so far: a woman who was traumatized when she was young will always react badly, especially to the man who used violence against her. For a woman, sharing her body is a matter of trust. Men are physically stronger and if you have to find yourself naked under someone, you have to be sure that they will stop if you change your mind at the last minute, especially if it is the first time and it is very likely that you will change your mind at the last minute. If you force her to do something she doesn't really want to do, with fucking lines like "come on, relax and you'll like it", I assure you that it will be the first and last time you will have the privilege because if she doesn't like it you can't force her to like it and the next time she won't trust you anymore.

Silvo made a guilty expression, and Koma noticed it.

-You're an asshole.

She informed him in a flat tone.

-But you are perfectly right about one thing.

Koma continued.

-She is too young, physically speaking, even without raising the emotional issue. You will have to wait at least another two years, three would be better.

Silvo grimaced.

-During all this time you must not touch her, no harassment of any kind. No kisses, no caresses, no sex. You absolutely have to break up with her mother. Immediately. Don't put her in competition with her for your attention. Don't get caught by her with any other woman: either you become the best friend of your right hand or you go to whores on another planet. You have to make her feel unique and special, you will have to court her discreetly, letting her understand that you want her but not only her body, also and above all her company. Please, Silvo, tell me that you like her at least a little and you don't keep her around just because you want to fuck her.

-If I just wanted to fuck her, I don't think I would have the patience to wait: I would have already given up. I am attracted to her and not only physically. She’s…

The man smiled, delighted.

-The kind of woman I like: tough, combative, daring and ingenious.

At this point the smile faded.

-Only that she's not a woman.

He continued in a bitter tone.

-But a little girl.

Koma nodded, satisfied.

-Think of something you can do together. Find out what she likes and reward her with activities that make her happy. See that you are there too, she must associate you with pleasant things, not with fear. When she has grown up a bit...

Koma sighed and grimaced, reluctantly.

-I don't like to suggest something like that but if you are really convinced that you can't do without her... You need to take advantage of that fragile age between adolescence and adulthood. It is inevitable that in a few years her body will mature and begin to feel certain impulses and to be a victim of its own desires. Just touching her will make her confused: her body will tell her one thing and her conscious mind another. It's your moment: you have to know how to seize it. She will be susceptible to your seduction. Make sure you're the only one available: if she has the choice between you and a boy her age, I don't think her fantasies will focus on you. But be careful not to get caught isolating her in this way, she could resent it. If you should notice a change in her towards you, by the Abyss, Silvo, do not rush it. Take it slow and above all, listen to me on this point: she must be the one to come to you. Orchestrate it if you have to, but she has to believe that you are her choice. Let her dictate the pace, don't rush her or you would push her away.

Koma laughed cynically.

-Let her seduce you, or at least let her believe it. And she will fall into your arms.

Silvo rubbed his forehead.

-It seems very complicated.

He complained. Koma snorted and gave him another kick in the ribs, this one much less friendly.

-Women are complicated for your small, limited male minds.

She sat up and stretched.

-I drank, I fucked and I smoked. Now I want to go back to my cabin at the Libertas for my last night on board.

She got up and got dressed.

-Will you dress too? It's not like you're pretty to look at, with all your pieces dangling out.

Silvo laughed and got up in turn and got dressed. Before leaving the brothel, he settled the bill leaving a generous tip to the whore. On the ferry to the frigate he watched Koma observe the distant stars through the glass.

-I really wish, with all my heart, for your dreams to come true, Koma. It was a privilege to work with you.

She met his gaze.

-You have been a valuable member of my crew and also a friend. I will follow your advice.

She nodded and held out her hand to him. Jod shook it.

-Good luck Silvo.

He squeezed her hand without letting it go.

-Jod. My real name is Jod.

She looked at him in amazement.

-It's the name she calls you by. Did you give her your name, your real name?

Jod grimaced and nodded.

-I don't know why. When Brutus put the four children in my cell... I realized that they were important and something, perhaps the Force, pushed me to introduce myself with my real name instead of using one of my aliases.

Koma looked at him for a long time. Then she clapped him on the shoulder with her free hand.

-I wish you good luck too, Jod, my friend. May your dreams come true.

At the dock, Koma was the first to get off the ferry and forever out of his life. Jod looked at her, letting the Force remove the veil of reality from his eyes. Koma was moving away from him and heading towards something bright and Jod was glad.

Chapter Text

III

After Jod left, the air felt lighter in the house. This time it was Fern who questioned her mother about what he had done to her and Fara was the one who refused to answer, replying her daughter's questions with more questions and asking her if Jod had touched her that morning or forced her to touch him in any way.

-No.

Fern had replied, blushing violently.

-Apart from the fact that he was naked, nothing strange happened. It was terribly embarrassing to wake up hugged to him and find that he had no clothes on. I had never seen a naked man before. But he didn't do anything to me, nor did he make me do anything to him. He came to you immediately.

The woman had sighed with relief.

-What did he do to you, mom? You said you could handle him but he made you cry.

Her mother grimaced and tried to evade the question but in the end she reluctantly admitted that he had called her Fern. The daughter had felt her stomach twist.

-It's my fault if he hurts you.

She had whispered guiltily.

-I'm sorry mom.

-Stop it, Fern.

The woman had replied with a tired air.

-Stop blaming yourself for something that is not your fault. You are not responsible for his perversion or actions. You didn't provoke him, you didn't incite him. It's his fault, not yours.

Fern had bowed her head apparently convinced but an insistent voice in her head kept on telling her that it was her fault, that if she had given herself to him, Jod would not have bothered anyone else.

-Instead, last night you came home with your face streaked with tears. All the makeup I had put on you had run down your cheeks. What happened?

Fern had blanched and then closed her eyes, suddenly remembering the disaster the previous night had been.

-There were women at the frigate... women from At Attin. I recognized Galina, who works in the headmaster's office. They were with the pirates but they didn't seem to be there of their own free will, just like me.

Her mother had covered her mouth with both hands, her expression full of horror.

-How many, Fern? How many women?

-A dozen, no more. Some were crying. Oh mom, they saw me with Jod! They will tell everyone and in no time at all they will call me a slut!

Fara's expression became hard.

-Leave it to me and don't worry: if those women were as unhappy as you say, they will have little desire to admit that they have been there and therefore they will not mention you. Moreover, if they are in the same situation as us, they will need help and support.

Fara had contacted Galina, with the excuse of talking to her about Fern's suspension. She had approached her at the end of her workday, to make the excuse more credible, and had asked to meet and talk privately. She had gotten on her landspeeder with her and immediately laid her cards on the table.

-Fern said she saw you at the frigate last night.

Galina, a beautiful woman a few years younger than Fara, had blanched.

-Don't worry, I'm not accusing you of anything. We are all in the same situation, Galina.

Fara had placed a hand on her arm and Galina had closed her eyes, bowing her head in shame.

-I know what kind of rumours are circulating about you, undersecretary...

-Call me Fara.

She had interrupted her.

-I didn't think it would happen to me.

Galina's voice had cracked and she had burst into tears.

-On the night of the attack, Peck entered my house... They were rounding up the inhabitants of my neighbourhood. I had locked myself in the bedroom, curled up in a corner. He broke down the door. He laughed, Fara. Laughed! And then, then, he ...

Galina had sobbed loudly and Fara had hugged her.

-Don't say anything else.

-I thought it would end there!

Galina had cried.

-But a couple of days later he showed up at my door again. He said he was moving in with me! He sleeps in my bed, eats at my table! I can't send him away, I can't stop him from, from... He treats me as if I were his property...!

Galina was desperate. She had kept inside what had happened to her and only the night before she realized that she was not the only one to live such a horrible experience. When the crying had subsided, she turned to Fara.

-I saw your daughter...

She said in a faint voice and with an expression full of pity.

-That poor little girl...

Fara shook her head.

-I'm taking care of Fern and Silvo. The rumours about me and him? They are true. Silvo lives in my house and sleeps with me. But he has fixated on Fern. I... I try to keep him busy, so he doesn't hurt her. I have to protect my daughter, you know?

Galina nodded.

-It is important that it is not known that Fern is Silvo's concubine. She is already so fragile... That man is destroying her, she would not be able to bear the pressure of everyone's judgment. Do you understand me?

Galina had nodded with a bitter expression.

-I won't tell anyone that I saw Fern in the arms of that beast, as if she was some kind of trophy. I can barely admit to myself what's happening to me...

-I need you to tell me the names of the other women who were there yesterday. And not just to protect Fern. We have to protect each other. No one but us can really understand what we are going through. We must not allow those monsters to divide us and set us against each other.

Fara had taken a deep breath.

-I think we should all meet and talk about what we are suffering. Force knows that I need it.

A tear ran down Fara's cheek. She squeezed Galina's hands, to comfort her, while she gave her the names of the women she had recognized.

In three days, Fara had managed to contact all the victims of the pirates. They had not been able to meet in Fara's house because Silvo had left one of his pirates, not Vane who had been relieved of his post, to watch over them.

Saka, the togruta, had offered her house because her tormentor had left with the frigate and she was, at least until his return, free. Only Fern was not present.

-For the moment, Silvo is just molesting her. He hasn't raped her, not yet, and I prefer not to scare her unnecessarily.

Fara had said. The other women had gathered around her and then, one by one, had shared their experiences. Some were similar to Galina's. Others were like that of Nusiala who was married and had two children and whom her rapist was blackmailing, threatening to hurt her family if she did not make herself available whenever he felt like it.

They were stories of violence and intimidation and Fara was furious.

-All this is intolerable!

She had exclaimed. Hana, the oldest of the group and whose husband had died during the attack, had looked at her with a defeated expression.

-And what can we do? We are at the mercy of pirates. They are in charge now. I can't go to court and accuse him. They can’t do anything to him. I tried to tell him no but he didn't stop. At least if I don't protest, he doesn't hurt me.

The others had nodded resignedly.

-Can you say no to him, Fara?

Saka had asked in an accusatory tone.

-If I tell him no, he goes to my daughter. I am forced to be the one to go to him because I am afraid... I'm afraid that every moment that he's not with me, he's spending it with her.

Fara had admitted rigidly. Nusiala had nodded, understanding.

-So what's the point of talking about it?

Kude had complained.

-Personally I feel better, after talking to you.

Galina had confessed.

-I felt alone and isolated. Now I feel like... like I’ve found a family. I don't feel alone anymore.

Many had nodded. Hana had gotten up.

-I have to go back. He expects me to make him dinner.

The others had nodded and stood up in turn, scattering.

Fara had mulled over what she had just experienced on the way home. She had to find a solution, that situation could not continue. She was the undersecretary, her people counted on her to guide and direct them. If only a true emissary of the Republic would arrive! But it looked like they had forgotten them. They had to save themself, she had to find a way to save her people, those women, herself and her daughter.

The pirates returned less than two weeks later, relieved of the gold they had stolen and with far fewer members on board. This gave Jod a slight feeling of unrest. His share of the loot had been deposited in the coffers of the Banking Clan, safe and sound, but now that his dream had come true and he had become rich beyond belief, he didn't know exactly what to do with his money. A portion of the dataries had been spent to pay off some debts he had had with people of dubious morality and to supply his frigate with the best he could find. Yet there was so much money left. For the first time he was not barely keeping his head above water financially speaking and yet he did not feel calm. He wasn't frantically planning the next robbery to try to pay creditors and keep his crew happy. Yet he felt as if disaster was imminent. His men and women were leaving him, despite the fact that his crew was happy, after days of spending their money in Porto Borgo, and despite having their pockets still full. They were back on At Attin... and now? What would he do? He could load the frigate again and relieve those who had remained on the ground but even he, after drinking and wasting his time and money on pleasures, did not feel like doing it again. He missed action. Above all he had no ideas on how to entertain his pirates. The reports that were put in his hands by the undersecretaries confirmed his anxieties: his pirates were thieves and murderers with a violent and aggressive character and did not know how to treat a peaceful population not accustomed to violence, especially since it was not a quick matter of attacking, robbing them and then leaving: they were rubbing elbows with their victims day in and day out.

Jod went from his frigate directly to the office he had had prepared for him at the supervisor's tower, cursing the reports that had accumulated and cursing the stack of things that demanded his attention. He had pushed Pax out of the door with the order to start the operations of loading the gold again and count how many men wanted to leave, then he had sat down at the table and started reading.

He had worked without stopping and when his stomach protested for the missed meal, the sun was already going down. He had dinner brought to him and continued. When he finally gave up, the pile of documents to be checked was considerably lower than that of documents already read and requests approved or rejected. His eyes were burning and his vision was blurry. He lay down on the sofa with which the office was equipped, telling himself that he would close his eyes and rest his sight for a few minutes but when he opened them again, it was already morning. He got up from the couch with an aching back, stretching and grumbling, and decided that work could wait: he wanted to take a shower and have breakfast.

Fara's house was empty: the woman must have already left to go to work and Fern to go to school and Jod breathed a sigh of relief. He had pondered Koma's words for a long time and he knew that he had to follow her advice but the idea of leaving Fern was painful. He was sure that she and Fara would welcome the news that he would move elsewhere and Jod was not ready to see how happy they would be to see him go.

He took a shower and changed his clothes and then piled his few belongings on the bed, emptied one of the concubine's trunks and filled it with his things. He took it downstairs and left it near the door, sending a message to Vane's communicator, the crewman he had entrusted the management of the frigate, to send someone to pick it up and take it to his cabin.

Finally, he had breakfast for the last time in Fara's house and, reluctantly, returned to his work at the supervisor tower.

While Jod had been away with the frigate, Fara had gone back to sleep in her room, because her daughter had asked her to sleep with her as she used to when she was a child. When they woke up that morning, seeing the shadow of the Libertas covering the town, Fern had shivered and Fara, with a gloomy face, had moved her things back to the smaller room.

Silvo had not come home but had locked himself in the tower, Fara knew this because her secretaries kept her informed of his movements. He was still in his office when the woman decided to go home. He didn't show up for dinner and in the end they decided not to wait for him anymore. Fern was tense and nervous and did not want to go to sleep but her mother convinced her with the promise that she would stay awake, waiting for the pirate to return. She waited many hours in vain, finally lying down next to her daughter, on top of the sheets, to intercept him before he could go to sleep with her. When she woke up, there was still not a trace of Silvo. Fern was relieved but Fara was nervous: why hadn't he shown up yet?

Jod had wanted to talk to Fern alone, without her mother in the way, so after returning to the tower he had kept an eye on the time and he had left the office and gone home just before Fern returned from school. He had waited for her at the entrance, sitting on Fara's comfortable sofa: he didn't want to give the wrong impression, cornering her in the bedroom. Hearing her return with Lav, he got up and opened the door for her. Fern had become still as a statue and Jod had nodded to the pirate.

-Go away Lav. You don't need to follow her everywhere anymore. Ask Pax to give you another assignment.

Then he had moved away from the doorway to let the girl pass. Fern had dropped her bag near the entrance and then turned to face him, with a determined expression.

-We have to talk, Jod.

Jod drank her in with his eyes.

-I missed you, Fern.

He whispered. She grimaced and trembled.

-I want to talk to you about my mother.

She went on, as if he hadn't said anything.

-I want to talk to you too, Fern.

Jod replied and then motioned for her to sit on the sofa, immediately taking a seat next to her, so close that his knees touched hers. Fern wiped her sweaty palms on the pants, unable to look him in the face.

-With my mother… it has to end.

Jod nodded, surprised that she was anticipating him and opened his mouth to agree but she continued before he could speak.

-I know it's me you want so... I'm here. Take me and leave her alone.

Fern turned to look at him with a fearful expression.

-We can do it right away if you want. My mother will not be back until many hours from now. She doesn't need to hear or assist. Right?

With trembling hands, she took off her jacket and began to open her shirt. Jod was paralyzed with surprise but before she could remain shirtless in front of him, he reached out and blocked her hands. Feeling him touch her, Fern sobbed but she did not pull back nor pushed him away. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning over to him and kissing him on the lips.

Jod allowed himself one last kiss, chaste and innocent compared to those he had forced on her up to that moment. He caressed Fern's soft and trembling lips with his own but when he felt her tears on his skin, he withdrew. He closed her partially open shirt and then gently pushed her away, getting up and moving away from her a few steps.

-No Fern.

He said to her, trying to use all the tact he possessed.

-You don't need to sacrifice yourself like that.

He continued before she could protest.

-I will never touch your mother again, I swear it to you. It's something I've already decided during the two weeks I've been away.

She covered her face with her hands and wiped her cheeks.

-And I already told you not to offer yourself to me like that, that I would never have sex with you as long as you were so young.

-I am almost thirteen years old.

Fern confessed in a faint voice.

-I will turn thirteen next month.

Jod snorted.

-Twelve, thirteen, there is little difference. You're too young anyway.

She frowned.

-And yet you touched me.

Fern's tone became accusatory and her attitude, from desperate and frightened, became belligerent. Jod smiled: that's how he liked her.

-You touched me and kissed me and forced me to participate!

Jod nodded.

-It's true, I admit it, and it was a mistake. I admit this too.

He knelt in front of her and took her hands in his, trying not to touch her legs.

-I was wrong, Fern. I acted like a monster. With you, with your mother. I was becoming someone I myself struggled to recognize. You bewitched me, I had never felt for anyone what I feel for you.

-It's not my fault!

The girl defended herself in a hoarse voice.

-This is also true. You have done nothing. Your only fault was being yourself. I'm sorry if I hurt you. You were right: I was hurting you. Here.

With a finger he pointed to her chest, where her heart was.

-I needed to get away from you to understand it.

-That’s means... that you don't want me anymore?

Fern's face filled with hope and then fell in front of the man's guilty grimace.

-It is not exactly like that. I still want you. Very much. But I can't continue as before. It's not fair to you. I still want you but I’m letting you go.

Fern gasped and then smiled, happily.

-Really?

Jod nodded.

-I only ask you, in accordance with our agreement, to devote some of your time to me. Just your time!

He was keen to point out, seeing that she was getting nervous again.

-No kisses, no touching: I swear! Just your company, every now and then. Like... like a date but not romantic.

Jod hoped, fervently, that in time their dates could become romantic and that he could kiss and touch her again but, mindful of Koma's admonitions, he knew that he had to make sure that Fern took the first step and that meant a long courtship and a slow seduction. Part of him was excited at the prospect: he liked the idea of winning Fern's heart as well as conquering her body.

-This morning I've taken my things away from your house. Before leaving, however, I wanted to talk to your mother too: I owe her my deepest apology.

Fern nodded and suddenly seemed more relaxed.

-Would you like to keep me company while we wait?

He sat down on the couch again, next to her and put his arm over her shoulders, holding her by his side and kissing her hair, breathing in her scent, knowing that for a long time he would not have the opportunity to be so close to her.

-Forgive me Fern for how I behaved.

Then he let his arm fall back.

-How was the return to school after your expulsion and do they still bother you because of me?

When Fara returned a few hours later, alarmed by the fact that her informants had told her that Silvo had gone out for lunch and had never returned, she found the man in her house sitting in her living room and waiting for her.

-Fern is upstairs, studying.

He immediately reassured her.

-Sit next to me, Fara. We have to talk.

The woman sat down rigidly, turned towards him.

-I... I owe you an apology Fara. I have behaved horribly and unacceptably with you. It won't happen again because I won't touch you anymore. You don't have to sleep with me anymore.

Fara's eyes widened and then she cast an alarmed look upstairs, where the pirate said her daughter was, and began to get up. He put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her sitting down again.

-Fern is fine, I didn't do anything to her. She is studying, as I said before.

Silvo sighed and then grimaced.

-I'm leaving your house, Fara. Aren't you happy? I realized that I was hurting both Fern and you. Neither of you appreciated my attentions. You have to understand one thing about me, Fara: I have never been the kind of man who imposes his presence on a woman, if she doesn’t want to. I never touched a girl as young as Fern before. I lost my mind over her. I regret what I did and how I treated you. Especially I regret how I treated Fern whom I damaged, terribly. I hope she can recover and that I have not done irreparable harm. I hurt you too. You never wanted to have sex with me and I mistook your desire to defend your daughter for a desire for me. I was wrong and now I am trying to remedy. As my concubine, Fern was afforded a certain level of protection: no one but me could touch her, none of my men or women would have dared to lift a finger against her, and I would like for her to continue to enjoy this privilege. That's why I asked her to spend some of her time with me. But I swear to you, Fara, that while we will be together I will not touch her in an unseemly way or kiss her. I want to be a different man, a better man, for Fern.

Jod realized as soon as he said the last words, that they were the wrong ones to say: they implied that he still had interest in the girl and that he wanted to change for her, but Fara didn't pay attention to his mistake, appearing in deep thoughts.

-Do you want to change? Do you want to be a better man? This will not erase the evil you have done.

The woman affirmed decisively.

-But it's a good starting point.

She admitted in a haughty tone.

-Will you leave my house?

Jod nodded.

-I'm having an apartment prepared for me near the supervisor's tower since, de facto, I have assumed all its powers ... and responsibilities. It’s really annoying to run an entire community. I'm not a droid.

He complained and Fara snorted.

-It's because you don’t delegate.

She made fun of him.

-That's what the undersecretaries and secretaries are for. I also have my own secretaries and I delegate to them. You have to ask for solutions, not problems: get your subordinates used to presenting you with a problem only if they already have a proposal to solve it and make sure that you are contacted only for real emergencies and for those decisions that only you can make. If you try to do everything yourself, you'll burn out in a matter of months.

Jod nodded slowly: that was good advice.

-Since we are on the subject of concubines...

She continued in a gloomy voice.

-I want to talk to you about how some of your men are behaving. Are you aware that some of the women here on At Attin have been raped and that their rapists continue to abuse them, under the pretext that they have become their concubines? None of those women accepted of their own free will, they have been forced into that role. It has to stop. If you are really determined to be a better man, you will also be a better leader. You no longer have the responsibility of your crew only. If you want to rule At Attin you have to take care of its inhabitants as well and that means protecting those women!

Fara didn't really believe that he would stop the rapes but she had to try at least, making her voice heard was important, even if it was not listened to. Silvo, on the other hand, surprised her by nodding.

-I agree. I had already noticed the situation before leaving. I will summon those men.

He grimaced.

-However, it will be difficult. Outside At Attin, things are different: the stronger has all the rights and the weaker succumbs. My crew is used to a certain way of life. You have to understand that from their point of view it is not a crime to do what they have done. To them, women are divided into two categories: those who know how to fight and the victims, and often the non-combatants are whores. I will talk to them and try to find a solution so that they will leave those women alone and that this problem does not arise again.

He took a deep breath.

-I want you, in particular, to watch over the situation and to come to me, directly and without going through intermediaries, in case you hear of similar cases.

Fara nodded, pleasantly surprised and feeling a faint hope.

-I'm glad you took my request seriously, Silvo.

The man looked at her in silence and then shook his head.

-Did you notice that Fern calls me Jod?

He asked, totally changing the subject. Fara seemed dumbfounded.

-Yes.

-Jod is my real name. Silvo is a sort of a stage name.

The man smiled, almost embarrassed.

-Silvo the Mad is a more threatening name than Jod, for a pirate. You and Fern can call me Jod if you wish. I only ask you to continue to call me Silvo in front of the others.

Fara nodded.

-Good!

Jod clapped his hands.

-Since we have sorted things out, I am leaving.

He got up, followed by Fara. He took her hand and kissed its back.

-See? I know how to behave even if I don't put it into practice. Forgive me again Fara. We will see each other soon, and it is not a threat.

Silvo, Jod, left, leaving her alone in the living room in a house that was finally hers again. With her heart pounding in her chest, Fara ran up the stairs, bursting into the bedroom and finding Fern who, surrounded by papers and datapads, was studying on the bed.

Giddily, she embraced her with enthusiasm.

-He's gone!

 Fern hugged her back.

-I know mom! There are no more things belonging to him in the bedroom!

Laughing and crying, mother and daughter embraced each other for a long time. In the following days they would move their things again, to regain possession of their respective rooms. Fern would hide Rennod's concubine's clothes in the back of her closet before taking the trunks to the shed. The fact that Jod had left all of the concubine's clothes there with her, made her anxious and she didn't feel entirely calm or one hundred percent sure that he would respect his word to leave her alone. In case he started again, she didn't want to be forced to walk around half-naked because he didn't consider her girlish clothes "suitable" and therefore she decided to keep them and for the moment the scandalous clothes of that unknown and dead woman remained in the house, away from her sight in the hope of never being used again.

The very night he had left Fern, Jod summoned to the frigate the men of his crew he had seen in the company of the women from At Attin. The thirteen men came to him in the command room of the Libertas, escorted by Pax.

-Do you know why you are here?

Silvo asked. His voice was expanded and made metallic by the helmet he was wearing. The men looked at each other and shook their heads.

-You thirteen have one thing in common: you have all taken concubines among the local women.

A heavy silence fell in the room.

-Like you, captain.

One dared to comment.

-You're right.

Silvo admitted, getting up from his chair and walking among his men.

-I have taken a concubine native to this planet and you decided to imitate me. I know imitation is a form of flattery but I don't feel flattered. I feel annoyed.

Silvo put his hands to his hips, close to the dagger and the blaster.

-I have received complaints. I had expressly forbidden rapes.

He raised a hand to block the protests that immediately arose.

-I know, I know... It is the right of the conqueror to enjoy the spoils but after the first night, on which I let you do as you wished, I ordered the violences to stop. Leave those women alone. They're not whores you can buy, they're citizens of At Attin.

The pirates grumbled discontentedly.

-If you want concubines I have the solution for you: in a few days we will leave and with your share of the loot go and buy one of the whores of Porto Borgo and take her back here with you. They're not that expensive and you don't run the risk of waking up with a knife in your guts because the woman you're sleeping with doesn't want you. I advise you to accept my solution because if one morning you’ll wake up dead, I will consider it a natural death.

He slapped hard the shoulder of a pirate.

-It's not fair, though!

One of them protested loudly.

-You got the girl you wanted among all the girls in At Attin and you’re keeping her. Why can't we?

Silvo faced the pirate who had spoken, staring at him through the visor of his helmet until he looked down.

-Because I am the captain.

Silvo spelled out.

-I can and you...

He pointed with a finger to the assembled pirates.

-…you will do as I say! I have brought you to the greatest treasure in the galaxy, I have made you rich beyond all your wildest dreams. I ask you to fuck only women who accept your attentions and you grumble like spoiled brats? You will obey me if you don't want to be tied naked upside down and for me to give a sharp knife to each of those women and then we’ll see how many of you will be untied with all the pieces still attached!

At that threat, some pirates brought their hands to the lower parts. No one breathed a word.

-Have I been clear?

There was a prolonged silence in the control room.

-I said: have I been clear?

The captain thundered, taking advantage of the amplifier that increased the pitch of his voice.

The pirates agreed.

-Good. Think about how much you are willing to spend to buy the concubine you want and now get out of here.

The pirates left, all except Pax who stayed behind and approached the captain who in the meantime had sat down again.

-The boys are not entirely wrong, captain.

He remarked.

-You got the concubine you wanted. They just imitated you.

Silvo turned his helmet towards him.

-This morning I asked Vane to go get my things. As of today, I no longer live in the same house as Fern. Technically speaking, she is no longer my concubine. However, in case anyone has any doubts, I want you to make it clear to everyone that she is mine and that no one should dare touch her. I'm not done with her yet. Let's say that we are taking a pause.

The other undersecretaries, urged by Fara, prioritized the preparation of Jod's apartment, whom all the inhabitants of At Attin now called the new supervisor, partly in desperation. In just two days, a two-story building was built at the foot of the supervisor's tower, and a small army of droids and interior designers scrambled to make it habitable by the end of the week. All that haste was useless because two days before the end of the construction work, Jod left with the Libertas and with those pirates who had previously remained planet side.

Jod stopped for a short time in Porto Borgo, leaving by himself almost immediately with the Onyx Cinder for a specific mission. He returned three days later and met with Pax, who had been in charge of managing the crew's stay and recruiting new members.

-I spoke with Durko. He accepted your proposal and will send Melna and a dozen whores with us. However, we have to guarantee him the trip back because Durko wants to see the earnings with his own eyes. We will have to start establishing a calendar for our travels. At Attin is isolated and only we can come and go. If you really want us to move there... I don't know captain, your idea doesn't convince me. We are pirates, we are not used to being sedentary. The crew begin to get bored.

Jod nodded.

-I agree. My solution cannot be definitive. I was thinking of paying everyone their share and then, those who don't want to stay, can leave with their pockets full of gold. Koma was right: we are not getting younger. The life of the pirate does not include a retirement plan and personally I do not want to go down with a dagger in the stomach. Or in the back. Brutus was enough for me.

Pax nodded, eager to please him.

-What now, captain? What do we do?

Jod sighed. Pax was eager and loyal but not at all imaginative.

-I have to think about it. For now, let's make the crew happy by stocking up on alcohol and whores. Then we will see.

His first mate nodded energetically and Jod waved his hand at him, wanting him to leave him alone.

The return of the pirate frigate did not represent to Fern the same source of terror as it had been before. Knowing that Jod wouldn't show up at her front door, that he wouldn't demand to sleep with her that night, almost made her cry with relief. Without the threat posed by Jod, she felt lighter, freer. More like the girl who had found the Onyx Cinder in the woods. She had started to walk with her head held high again and to look at her classmates in the face.

Since she had had that fight with Zelda, she had regained some of the respect of her classmates. The fact that her mother had stopped sleeping with the captain and that he had even left her house was seen as a victory for the woman and, by reflection, for Fern herself.

KB, Wim and Neel had begun to meet at her house to study and talk. The adventure they had experienced had marked and united them. They often quarrelled but no one apart from them could understand what they had gone through and they were the only ones they could talk to with the certainty of being understood with a single glance. They hadn't given up on the idea of contacting Kh'ymm but there was no way to do it from At Attin: the barrier that was supposed to protect them, held them captive and prevented them from calling for help.

-The only way would be to steal the Onyx Cinder. It is the only ship, apart from the frigate, that can cross the barrier. We need to pass it to be able to contact the lady of the moon!

KB had repeated with deep frustration.

-The Onyx Cinder is parked inside the Libertas.

Fern reminded them, she was the only one who had returned aboard the frigate after it had landed on the planet.

-Have you seen SM-33 again?

Wim asked but Fern shook her head.

-No. The only time I got back on board Jod kept me close. I only saw the hangar, the corridor and the banquet hall.

-We have to find an excuse to get on the frigate and find a way to contact 33!

KB said, biting her lip thoughtfully.

-Why? 33 refused to help us last time.

Neel pointed out to them.

-There is no droid that I cannot convince to do what I want.

Fern boasted in a gloomy voice.

-I just need time and to find the right argument. Last time I couldn’t think clearly.

None of her friends commented on the girl's state of mind in those terrible days when they still didn't know what she had promised Jod to convince him to save them.

Fern's birthday caught her almost off guard. In agreement with her mother, she had decided not to celebrate her thirteenth birthday. Fara was still worried that Jod might have his sights on her and didn't want to announce to everyone that she was a year older and Fern didn't want to, either. Every time KB brought up the subject, she thought back to the last day with Jod, when she had sat next to him and started to undress, telling him that he could have her, that she was willing to have sex with him and how she had kissed him. It had been the first time she had voluntarily kissed Jod, the first time she had voluntarily kissed anyone. All the other times Fern had been forced to or had suffered his attentions. In those moments when she had been overwhelmed by terror but firmly determined to put an end to that wait that was killing her and hurting the people she loved, the only moment she could have considered pleasant had been that kiss. The first and only time he had left control to her, allowing her to have the closest thing to a first kiss, although not with the person nor in the circumstances in which she had imagined it. A meeting of lips, a caress and not the conquest, the overpowering experience that he had taught her until then kisses to be. Fern had told him that her thirteenth birthday was near, therefore all the care her mother was taking to make it pass quietly was in vain.

Her best friend was the only one who had wanted to do something special that day. Her mother had whispered a happy birthday to her that morning and kissed her forehead, encouraging her to be strong, but KB had dragged her into the garage after school to fix her speederbike, which had been collecting dust since the day they left At Attin. She had found somewhere the new converter they needed and insisted on installing it together. In the end she also convinced Fern to take a test drive around the neighbourhood and not through the woods as they used to do. The woods were no longer safe, even for those who knew them well: bored pirates had invented a cruel new game and called it "droid hunting". Every day at dawn they let a droid free in the woods and then around mid-morning the hunt would begin. They shot at anything that moved so much that they ended up shooting at each other and therefore access to the woods was forbidden because it was a mortal danger.

For a glorious afternoon, Fern felt as if the last few months had never happened. She laughed and joked, feeling again the carefree and innocent child she had been, the one for whom the height of rebellion was to skip school and go racing with the other boys and girls.

The next day, when she returned from class, she found her mother waiting for her at home.

-What are you doing here already?

Fern had asked her. Fara paced back and forth and wringed her hands.

-This morning the supervisor summoned me to his office.

Hearing it was about Jod, Fern let her bag with the books slide to the ground. Suddenly her hands were shaking.

-It's not strange for him to ask to meet me: I see him often for work related reasons. But today he told me that he wants us to have dinner with him tonight. You and me.

Fern got angry.

-Why? What else does he want from us?

She had exclaimed in an exasperated voice.

-I don't know but when I tried to refuse, he said it wasn't a request. He said that you promised to spend some time with him, that if I wanted I could stay at home, that I had been invited because he thought you would have felt more comfortable if I had been there too but that my presence was not necessary.

Fern felt nauseous.

-Did he say that I have to dress again in the clothes of the concubine?

She asked in a dull voice as her legs gave way and she sat down on a chair.

-No, he said that it is an informal occasion, to be dressed normally.

Fern breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he really just wanted to spend some time together. After all, he lived alone and maybe he was bored and wanted some company. She nodded to her mother.

-Okay then. What harm can it do?

She asked with a brave smile, choosing to hope for the best.

And so that evening they went to the house that Jod had had prepared for himself. It was the largest and most magnificent one in the city, a useless waste of space and wealth in Fern’s opinion: she saw no point in surrounding oneself with things you didn't need just for appearance’s sake.

As suggested, they had not put any particular care in their clothing. Her mother wore a black suit and a purple overcoat, and Fern wore a pair of soft black cotton trousers and a light blue sweater. Jod, who opened the door for them, was also dressed simply with a pair of dark trousers and a white shirt. He beamed, showing them into the dining room.

The large table was set for only three people.

-There is only us.

He said.

-Us and the droids.

He helped Fara to her seat, pulling out the chair for her, and then insisted on doing the same for Fern. The droids serving them poured a goblet of wine for the two adults and some water for the girl. Fara and Jod spoke about everything and anything until dinner was served and Fern was struck by how much everything looked... domestic. Jod seemed like a colleague of her mother, an ordinary person and every time he turned to her and smiled at her it was not possible to recognize in him the monster from her nightmares who forced her to participate in intimate intercourses.

At the end of the dinner Jod became nervous, looked at her and smiled at her full of energy and enthusiasm. A simple dessert was served: a creamy milk mousse with fresh fruits. Her favourite dessert. When they finished eating and the dishes were taken away, Jod folded his arms over the table and spoke to her.

-Yesterday was your birthday, right Fern?

Fara stiffened next to her daughter but Fern was relaxed: Jod had behaved impeccably all evening. She nodded.

-Yes, it was.

-Thirteen.

He continued, still smiling, and her mother put a hand on her knee, squeezing it under the table.

-I have a birthday gift for you!

He proclaimed, euphoric. He nodded to a droid who placed a box in front of Fern. Fern looked at him, dumbfounded.

-Well? Open it!

Jod urged her.

-I hope you’ll like it. Don't be afraid to tell me if I've got the wrong gift. If you don't like it, I can change it or you can tell me what you would prefer and maybe next year I won't be wrong!

He told her, gesturing in the direction of the box. She opened it slowly. That year she had received no other gifts. Inside there was a projector. Intrigued, Fern directed it towards the white plastered ceiling and activated it. The ceiling of Jod's house filled with stars. Fern parted her lips, full of amazement and wonder.

-They are star maps.

Jod revealed in a whisper, reaching across the table and touching her for the first time in the evening. He placed a hand on her forearm.

-Do you like it?

Fern looked down to meet his eyes.

-It's beautiful, thank you.

Fern replied in a faint voice. He looked at her as if she was beautiful, as if she was something extraordinary and fantastic.

-Thank you Jod, you shouldn't have.

Her mother's voice, hard and heavy as a stone, distracted Jod's attention from Fern. He withdrew his hand and smiled at the woman as well.

-I couldn't help myself. Being thirteen happens only once in a lifetime.

Fara stood up and Fern immediately imitated her.

-Thank you for the dinner, it was satisfactory and you were a perfect host. Thank you also for Fern's gift. But now it's late and tomorrow I have to go to work early and Fern to school. So if you’ll excuse us, we'd go.

-Certainly!

Jod stood up with a tight smile and walked them to the entrance, kissing the back of Fara's hand before the droid opened the door. He didn't try to do the same with Fern, he just put both hands behind his back and bowing his head in her direction.

-Thank you for agreeing to come.

He said addressing Fern and not Fara.

-It was a real pleasure for me to have you here for dinner. I hope you will grant me the privilege of having you back as my guests as soon as possible.

Fara nodded and then took Fern, who was clutching her gift to her chest, under her arm and walked away.

Jod watched them go. He was still smiling when the front door closed behind them.

Fern spent the majority of the night awake with the projector, looking at star maps and feeling confused. Once again Jod had managed to turn enjoyable something they had done together. The dinner had been nice and the gift was perfect. Fern, instead of sleeping, admired the maps looking for all the stars and planets she had studied at school and the next morning, sporting two deep dark circles under her eyes and a troubled expression, whispered to KB that she absolutely had to come to her house that afternoon, that she had to show her something of highest importance and to inform Neel and Wim to came as well.

She welcomed her three friends and led them to her room, her old room not the one she had shared with Jod, and showed them the gift he had given her the day before.

-Did he give it to you?

KB asked, frowning and turning it on. Fern nodded.

-He got it from outside, for sure.

She joined her friend, handling the projector until she found what she wanted to show them.

-Shouldn't that be the Alderaan system?

Neel asked, puzzled. The system was the right one, only Alderaan was not there. With a grim expression, Fern enlarged the image. Where the planet should have been there was a cluster of dust and asteroids.

-Here!

Fern pointed to a tag symbol and activated the link. A script appeared and the four friends read it.

-What does it mean that the planet has been destroyed?

Wim asked in dismay. Neel echoed him.

-And what does the date mean? Zero BBY? It is not the calendar of the Republic!

-There is something strange going on.

Fern confirmed.

-I have to talk to Jod.

KB turned abruptly to her.

-No, Fern! It's not safe.

Neel and Wim shifted, uneasy. They had only a vague idea of what the pirate had done to their friend, they had seen him treat her as one would treat an adult woman and they had understood that he had hurt her but they didn’t know how.

-And whow should we ask?

Fern replied with a resigned air.

-Another pirate? At least Jod talks to me. In fact, he can't wait for me to go to him.

-That's exactly why you have to stay away from him!

Her friend had replied. Fern had massaged her forehead, she had not slept and had a headache.

-I will go to his house and ask him to explain the matter of the date and of Alderaan.

KB started.

-No Fern! I'll go.

Fern looked uneasy.

-I don't want you to expose yourself, KB.

KB put her hands on her shoulders.

-I'm not the one who's in danger. Didn’t you think it might be a trap? He may have done it on purpose to have an excuse to see you again.

Fern looked doubtful.

-I hadn't thought about it... But it sounds a bit too complicated, doesn't it?

She sighed.

-In any case, I don't want you to go to him alone. Maybe it would be better if we went together.

-It would be better if you don’t approach him at all!

KB replied in a gloomy voice, but Fern assumed a stubborn expression.

-We’ll go together or I'll go alone!

-What about us?

Wim asked.

-We want to come too!

Neel moaned: he had no desire to see Jod again.

KB bit her lip, thoughtful. Wim had the bad habit of charging ahead and provoking the worst in Jod.

-It wouldn't be a bad idea.

KB admitted so as not to make the younger boy feel cut off.

-You could be on lookout: if something happens to us you could intervene or go asking for help.

That would keep Wim content and out of harm's way. The boy nodded determinedly.

-You can count on us!

However, they were not able to implement their plan immediately, they had to wait for the weekly day of rest. Studying Jod's movements it was immediately clear that he kept the same hours as Fara: he left early and returned late in the afternoon and this meant that they had no opportunity to go to him because when he was home, their parents wanted them to be at home, safe from the dangers that could be encountered on the streets after dark.

On the first day of rest available, KB went at Fern's house to study and do homework and then, once they finished, they told Fara that they were going for a ride. They actually met up with Wim and Neel and went knocking on Jod's door. While they waited for someone to open, KB squeezed her friend's sweaty and cold hand tightly.

-You can still change your mind.

She whispered to her.

-I could go alone and you could wait outside with the boys.

Fern shook her head firmly. At that moment, a droid opened the door.

-How can I help you?

It asked politely.

-We would like to talk to the supervisor, if he is at home.

KB asked resolutely.

-Wait here, please.

The droid closed the door and a little later, when it opened again, there was Jod in the doorway. He raised both eyebrows in an expression of surprise.

-Fern! KB! Now that’s unexpected... Come in, come in!

He moved and let the two girls pass him by, closing the front door behind them.

The two friends stopped in the lobby, standing next to each other.

-What do I owe this visit to? Would you like to sit down?

With a gesture he showed them to the living room.

-Sit down, sit down!

The man sat down on the armchair, pointing to the sofa. KB and Fern sat down in turn.

-Can I offer you something?

-No thanks.

KB answered.

-We are here because we want to ask you something.

Fern at this point interrupted her friend.

-It's about my birthday present.

Jod looked surprised, rested his elbows on his knees and leaned over.

-Is there something wrong with my gift? Is it defective?

The two girls hurried to shook their heads.

-No, it works very well but... there is no Alderaan. Where the planet is supposed to be, there is a tag that says Alderaan was destroyed in year zero BBY, whatever that means. Even the lady of the moon seemed surprised that Alderaan was studied here, at At Attin.

-What happened?

KB asked.

-When was it destroyed and when is the year zero BBY compared to the calendar of the Republic?

Jod looked stunned and then assumed the expression of someone who has to give bad news and does not know how to do it tactfully. He ran a hand over his face, rubbing his lips.

-Ah... I had forgotten.

He finally said in a low tone.

-When I met the supervisor, your old supervisor.... It said that the last communication received by the Republic was an order issued by Chancellor Palpatine.

KB and Fern looked at him puzzled and Jod sighed.

-It was more than thirty years ago. A lot has happened in the last thirty years.

-It has been only thirty years.

KB replied in a confused tone.

-What could have happened in such a short time?

Jod laughed bitterly.

-The Republic fell on the day that order was issued.

He informed them in a sober voice. The girls widened their eyes and Fern covered her mouth with both hands, shaking her head in denial.

-Chancellor Palpatine proclaimed himself emperor, reforming the Republic into a Galactic Empire under his control. He was a Sith and the Jedi tried to stop him, but failed. The emperor pronounced them traitors and had them all exterminated, from children to the elderly. The temple burned down and, in its place, he had his palace built. There were those who dissented, of course. The emperor's rule was tyrannical and cruel. They called themselves the Alliance to Restore the Republic.

Jod snorted in derision.

-As if the Republic had been something to be preserved. Years of bloody wars, preceded by tensions and abuses by those who had the power and money to do as they wanted. The Empire was rotten and evil, but the Republic too was corrupt to its core.

He looked at them, tilting his head.

-I know that what I am saying probably contradicts what you were taught in school but it is the truth. I was born towards the end of the Old Republic and my first years of life were hell. The planet where I grew up had been destroyed by the Civil War. Both the Confederacy and the Republic had drained our resources until we had nothing left. The population was starving. My first memory is one of hunger and cold and fear. I lived in a hole in the ground, stealing and begging just to survive.

Jod closed his eyes and trembled.

-Anyway: Alderaan. It happened about ten years ago. The ruling family was involved with the Rebellion. They captured the heir to the throne and when the torture didn't work, they destroyed her planet with a weapon called the Death Star. The Empire liked menacing and dramatic names. The Death Star was a weapon capable of destroying entire planets. They probably would have used it again if the rebels hadn't destroyed it soon after, during the Battle of Yarvin. BBY: Before the Battle of Yarvin. When the rebellion won four years later, they instituted a new calendar that started with that battle, the first successful blow to the Empire and the destruction of the weapon that had wiped a peaceful planet like Alderaan from the galaxy.

A profound silence fell at Jod's explanation.

-That means that... the Republic...?

KB asked in a faint voice.

-It no longer exists.

Jod said.

-For thirty years you have continued to mint money for an institution that didn’t exist anymore. You were lucky, you know?

Jod's voice became thoughtful.

-Your barrier has protected you from thirty years of wars, disasters and abuses.

But that wasn't what Fern and KB were thinking. It was not the end of the Republic that filled them with horror.

-No one knows we are here.

Fern whispered in a faint voice.

-Everyone believes that At Attin is a myth and no one knows where we are. The Republic knew it but the Republic no longer exists.

No one would come to save them.

-There is a New Republic.

Jod informed her.

-Not that it’s able to do much.

The man laughed.

-The political situation is unstable. The Rebellion has won, the emperor is dead but the systems cannot agree on anything. Twenty years of imperial rule in which corruption was rampant, slavery legal and the law of the strongest was in force, are difficult to erase. Officially, the New Republic has authority over the territories of the Old Republic but in reality it only manages to impose its law in the Inner Rim.

-The X-wings...

KB whispered.

-They are with the Republic.

-New Republic.

Jod corrected her.

-Yes. The X-wings Kh'ymm called and those that drove the Libertas away from Lanupa are part of the Republican fleet. But don't get strange ideas...

He continued darkly.

-As I said: the New Republic has very little power in the Middle and Outer Rim. They arrive, chase away the pirates and then leave. The pirates immediately return and for the local population it is even worse!

The two girls understood that the comment referred to the situation of At Attin and not to a generic local population and so they nodded. KB stood up, pulling Fern up as well.

-Thank you for the history lesson. It was... enlightening. Now we have to go.

-Not so fast.

Jod replied slowly, getting up in turn.

-It was fortuitous that you came to me, you saved me a trip.

Fern stiffened, foreseeing yet another request from Jod to her. Instead, he turned to KB.

-I really wanted to talk to you, KB.

The girl in question blinked, dumbfounded.

-My chief mechanic still sings your praises. If it doesn't take up too much of your time, would you like to spend a few afternoons a week at the Libertas, in the engine room? I'm sure you could learn a lot, more than what the school has to offer. I will personally make sure you can move safely. I will even assign you a body guard if this can make you feel more confident.

KB tried not to let show how tempting Jod's offer was.

-Thank you.

She said slowly, bowing her head in a nod of thanks.

-I must say that your offer is very... interesting. But I have to talk about it with my mothers first. I'm a child, you know, and I can't decide for myself.

Jod grimaced, fully understanding the barb of the girl who was the same age as Fern.

-You'll never forgive me for how I treated Fern, will you?

He commented in a mild tone. KB didn't change her expression and Jod sighed.

-I hope to make you change your opinion about me, over time.

He clapped his hands.

-In the meantime, think about it and let me have your answer shortly. I’ll accompany you to the door.

Once they left, KB dragged Fern to where the boys were waiting for them.

-You'll say no to him, won't you KB?

Fern asked loudly.

-No to what?

Wim wanted to know.

-Jod wants KB to go to the frigate to work with his mechanics. You won't go, will you KB?

The two boys looked at their friend.

-I will definitely go.

The girl replied. At the exclamations of surprise and denial of her friends she gave a sharp smile.

-Jod just gave me access to his frigate... and to the Onyx Cinder.

KB announced. Wim smacked his forehead.

-Of course!

-It's too dangerous!

Fern protested. Her friend would be alone with the pirates and she knew how dangerous they could be for a girl all by herself. She didn't want KB to feel the same terror, disgust, and helplessness that she had felt with Jod.

KB shrugged.

-I've already been to the engine room, the mechanics know me. We were on the Libertas for days while you were Jod's prisoner and the pirates never bothered us. The first few days I will accept the body guard proposed by Jod, it would be strange if I didn't, but later on I will get rid of them so that I can move freely. It's our chance!

The girl insisted.

-We can't miss it.

Unbeknownst to the four friends, their visit to the supervisor's house hadn’t come as a surprise to Jod. Since he had left Fern, he had organized a close surveillance to follow her every move and to be informed of everything she did. The droids obeyed him and were everywhere. Through their eyes he had many hours of recording on her. Every frame that contained Fern was sent to him and he viewed them in the evening, after returning home. The house was large and quiet but Fern was there with him: her image, her voice, the laughter he had almost never had the opportunity to hear in person. He couldn't watch the recordings frame by frame: the hours of the day would not be enough, so he would fast-forward them, stopping and viewing only the interesting things. The favourite ones were transferred to his communicator and he looked at them while he was in bed and touched himself thinking about her.

Therefore he had seen Fern, KB and the two boys wandering around his house for days before the girls knocked at his door. He knew they were plotting something but the question about Alderaan had really surprised him. He thought that at least those four had understood what the situation was in the galaxy. However, their visit had been a really pleasant occasion: not only had he finally been able to make his offer to KB, one on which he had been mulling over for some time, but he had been able to see Fern again. He missed seeing her every day, talking to her and touching her. He regretted not having appreciated enough those nights when he had had the opportunity to hold her in his arms between the sheets. The memory of the scent of her hair and how soft her skin had been under his hands and lips, tormented him. As Kona suggested, he had become best friends with his right hand.

Durko's whores had taken up residence in the city and his men had become frequent visitors to the first brothel of At Attin. Jod's office had been overwhelmed with protests from neighbours: children pass through that street and the presence of pirates made the parents nervous. What had surprised Jod, however, was not the fact that the inhabitants did not want the brothel but the type of protests: the neighbours were also worried about the well-being of the whores. They knocked on their door to offer them homemade cakes and invited them for coffee.

Melna and the girls, plus two boys, had never been so happy. The clientele was assiduous, the building reserved for them was in the At Attin style: modern, clean and dignified. The droids cleaned, cooked for them and they had the best care the planet had to offer: like his pirates, they too had received the immunizations that the citizens of the Old Republic had received as children. Medicines and bacta were no longer a luxury but something that was given to anyone who needed them. Durko's whores were happy and healthy, and Jod hadn't been able to enjoy them.

He was already organizing a schedule with Pax for trips between Porto Borgo and At Attin, but also considering other destinations: he did not like the idea of giving the pirate den the exclusive on the riches of At Attin.

When he was finally able to shake off the responsibilities he had as supervisor and accompany his pirates to Porto Borgo, his first stop was Durko's brothel. Durko himself greeted him at the entrance, full of smiles and bows, calling him his best customer. Jod gave him a fake, sharp smile.

-Durko, my friend!

He clapped him on the shoulder.

-I'll offer the first round, captain! Sit down, drink. The best wine for my best customer.

-Maybe later. Now I would like something special.

Jod refused, looking around and noticing numerous new faces. Durko nodded, anxious to please him.

-Do you have anyone in particular in mind? More than one?

Jod grimaced.

-I am looking for a girl with particular characteristics. Human or humanoid, long brown hair if possible. Young. Who is the youngest you have at the moment?

Durko turned instinctively and Jod followed his gaze to a young prostitute who was dancing on a table in a semi-dark corner of the brothel. The man did not distinguish her features well but her body was slender and her curves modest. Her breasts, small and firm, were not hidden in the slightest by the light transparent veil that hung from her neck, nor the matching skirt hide anything of what it covered. She had long dark hair whose tips were dyed an electric blue.

-She looks perfect.

Jod commented, unable to take his eyes off her. Durko shook his head frantically.

-No, no, Silvo. She is not the right one for you! How about Kikki?

He pointed to a girl laughing in the arms of a customer, while pouring wine directly into his mouth. A beautiful young girl, between twenty and twenty-five years old, with long brown hair of the right colour and generous curves pressed against the client's chest.

-No, I want her.

Jod insisted, pointing to the dancer. Durko wrung his hands.

-She's new and some customers have already complained about her. She’s not what you’re looking for, Silvo. You like happy whores. Lyyn never smiles. If she continues like this, I'll send her away.

Jod frowned.

-I told you that I want her. Let's do this: even if I'm not satisfied, I'll pay you anyway. I appreciate your truthfulness and therefore I will not complain to you.

Durko gave up. They approached the dancer and he motioned to her.

-Someone asked about you, Lyyn.

The girl descended with graceful movements. Up close she was really pretty. She was perhaps twenty, perhaps younger. Her features were delicate and with a little imagination she might have passed for an older cousin of Fern's.

-This is Captain Silvo. He is a good customer and his crew makes me do good business. Treat him well and make him happy.

Durko warned her and the girl nodded. Usually the whores smiled at him and were flirtatious. Lyyn, on the other hand, did not smile at him. She calmly took him by the hand and led him upstairs. As soon as they arrived in the room, Lyyn wasted no time and undressed, sitting on the mattress observing him. Jod stood by the door and when he realized that the prostitute would not help him undress and would not lure him to bed with her hands, he took off his coat and walked over to the bed, taking off his boots. When he got close, Lyyn looked at him with dull eyes.

-How do you want me?

Jod raised an eyebrow.

-I’m sorry? What do you mean?

He replayed. The whore snorted.

-Do you want me face down? Do you want me to be on top?

-Let's see how things proceed...

He said, stroking her hair.

-Why blue?

He asked her and she shrugged.

-It's my favourite colour. So, what do you want me to do?

Jod didn't answer but bent down to kiss her. She answered the kiss mechanically, without touching him but keeping her hands folded on her lap.

-How old are you?

He asked her in a hoarse voice. Lyyn seemed to became animated, smiling half-heartedly.

-Do you like them young?

She asked in an amused voice.

-Do you want me to call you daddy?

Jod jerked back with a disgusted expression.

-No!

She raised an eyebrow and snorted.

-Don't make that face, you don't know how many ask me that. I am seventeen years old.

Jod frowned.

-Too old? I can look younger if you want.

She lay down on the sheets, her hair fanning out around her.

-Do you want me to be afraid? Do you want me to resist you?

Her voice trembled and her expression become fearful. Jod swallowed. The expression was the right one, but it was also one that he no longer wanted to see on Fern's face.

-I...

She seemed to grasp his indecision and with hesitant hands untied his belt and unbuttoned his trousers, keeping her head down.

-Please...

She whispered.

-Don't hurt me. I'll be good, I'll do what you ask me, but don't hurt me.

Jod put his hand on her head.

-Fern...

The illusion was good and the fantasy was taking shape. The girl seemed to understand it, sat up again and, with her head still bowed, finished opening his pants, freeing him. He wasn't hard yet but she got to work with her hand and soon took him in her mouth. Jod gasped, tossing his head back and moaning loudly. He wrapped his hands around her face and began to move, slowly and without pushing all the way in. She was perfect: she cooperated little, the bare minimum to give him pleasure. It was as he imagined Fern would do. He tried to retreat when he realized he was about to come but she pulled him more deeply into her throat, pushing herself against him and with a muffled yell Jod reached his climax. She sucked him, stroking him with her tongue and then let him go with a wet pop. He smiled, happy.

-Faster than I imagined it... but it was good.

The whore nodded, satisfied.

-Will you speak well of me to Durko? Lately he hasn't been very happy with me...

Jod nodded and then leaned down to kiss her on the mouth. She withdrew.

-I just ...

She pointed to his penis, now flaccid.

-It doesn't matter, it doesn't bother me.

And he kissed her, pushing her flat on the sheets. The whore stiffened.

-You can't want to do it again!

She protested, nervous.

-I'm fine.

Jod confirmed, placing a hand on her breast. It was small, firm and rosy, barely fuller than Fern's.

-Now it's your turn.

He lay down next to her and caressed her belly and then went down, caressing her firmly between her legs. She was dry and Jod frowned, looking up and into her face. She was making a disgruntled grimace.

-What do you want me to do? If you tell me, I will do it...

She proposed in a worried tone.

-I want to please you.

Jod replied, puzzled.

-I had an orgasm, now it's your turn.

She pursed her lips.

-I can pretend if you want.

She offered.

-I don't want you to pretend.

Jod replied, displeased. His caresses were not having any success. He knelt next to the bed and added his tongue to his fingers, using saliva as a lubricant as he continued to touch her, trying to elicit a positive response, a quiver, a moan. He pushed a finger into her, she was still dry.

-You can stop whenever you want.

She said in a flat tone.

-I won't be able to have an orgasm. I have never had in the company of someone else. Sometimes customers, just women to tell the truth, managed to make me feel something but I never managed to reach that level of pleasure.

Jod stopped touching her.

-Why?

-Why what?

She replied, perplexed.

-Why can't you have an orgasm? What am I doing wrong?

She looked at him without understanding.

-I just don't like sex.

She said simply. Jod was stunned.

-But why do you work here?

She laughed in his face.

-I don't work here. They sold me to Durko.

-Who?

Jod asked. She shrugged.

-The brothel where I was before. The Bud. I was too old to work there.

Jod stiffened. He knew what the Bud was and what kind of flesh they sold.

-My parents were full of debts. They sold me when I was about nine years old.

Her voice became flat and her expression blank.

-They raped me so many times... so many men. It's as if I were dead, down there. I am one of the unfortunate ones: many of the children of the Bud die within a couple of months, lucky them. The wounds we sustain are too deep and the treatments are not worth the price of the child, not when there are always desperate parents and slave ships that dock here.

Her voice became contemptuous.

-But what’s the point in telling you? You don't know what it's like to have a grown man piercing you and grunting while you bleed and scream in pain, begging for mercy, begging for death.

Jod had slowly blanched. His stomach closed and he remained on his knees, as if turned to stone, between her open thighs. He rested his hands on her legs, squeezing and driving his fingers into her flesh as something horrible rose up his throat. His nightmares moved in the back of his mind and a dark memory stirred in the prison where he had always locked it up.

-I...

He whispered and then a sob came out of his mouth. He bent over the prostitute's body, trembling as one sob after another shook him. He bit his lower lip, savagely.

-I... I don't know how old I was. Seven? Nine? I don't know when I was born. I don't remember my parents, if they abandoned me or died. I remember the hunger. I begged, I stole. Then I found out that the smugglers and some guards who stopped at the spaceport were willing to give me food if I did... something... for them.

The words became choked and barely came out of his closed throat.

-I let them put it in my mouth, sometimes they pushed so hard that I thought they would choke me. Sometimes they tried to touch me but I always managed to escape. I never let them do anything else to me.

He began to cry, hiding his face against the prostitute's belly. She caressed his hair, with a hesitant hand.

-Shh. It's in the past.

She whispered to him.

-It's all right now. You’re safe.

He continued to cry and she continued to comfort him until he calmed down.

-I had never told anyone.

Jod confessed. He lay down next to the girl and hugged her tightly. He did not do it out of lust but in search of comfort.

-Your secret is safe with me.

Lyyn promised him. Jod sighed.

-I won't be able to make you have an orgasm, will I?

Jod asked her in a resigned tone.

-Why is it important to you?

She replied in a curious tone.

-I... I need my partner to be satisfied. If I am, they must be too.

She hummed, thoughtfully.

-Is it because if you didn't satisfy your customer you didn't eat? Maybe it’s a default behaviour and unconsciously you are still acting out on a recurring pattern.

Jod let out a nervous laugh.

-Do you treat childhood traumas as well as being a whore?

-At the Bud I took care of the younger children. I was a survivor, I taught them how to survive in turn.

They stayed together all night long, sleeping embraced. In the morning Jod woke up hard, hugged to a naked female body and whispered Fern's name. Lyyn took him in her mouth and give him again an orgasm.

-Let me try again.

Jod begged her, trying to touch her but she pushed his hands away.

-Is it really that important to you?

He nodded, grimacing.

-Alright then.

She conceded in an exasperated voice.

-But I’ll do it myself. You must not touch me.

She lay on her back on the sheets and Jod knelt by the bed to look at her. She closed her eyes and spread her legs, placing one hand on her breasts and the other between her thighs, touching herself and breathing deeply. She began to sigh and tremble, moving her pelvis against her hand and finally came silently, arching her back and opening her mouth wide.

-Thank you...

Jod whispered. When he left the brothel, he paid for the whole night he had spent with Lyyn and asked to tell Durko that he was satisfied and that he would ask for her again next time. And that’s what he had done. When he visited the brothel, he would immediately bring a whore to the upstairs rooms, someone to give him the reciprocity he wanted and feel pleasure with him, then he would come down and ask for Lyyn to sit on his lap and serve him a drink until he felt like retiring upstairs with her. Lyyn let herself be kissed and caressed by him while she touched him and gave him pleasure with her hands and mouth and at dawn Jod touched himself while she masturbated. In the long, lonely nights at his home in At Attin, it had become his favourite fantasy: Fern lying on his sheets, writhing and moaning as she touched and pleasured herself, with Jod watching her.

Jod had quickly become Lyyn's favourite customer: easy to please and did not demand to have sex with her, keeping her busy all night. That day a month when he showed up at the brothel was her favourite day because she knew she wouldn't have any other customers. Then one month he didn't come.

KB had made Jod wait for his response at least two weeks. She didn't want to give him the impression that she was anxious to get back on the Libertas and however she had needed time to convince her mothers who thought it was too dangerous.  She had finally got their permission, after they had spoken to Jod in person and obtained from him the promise that a pirate would watch over their only, precious child, during her entire stay on the frigate. Garree had had a terrible experience, fortunately without consequences, with a man when she was younger than KB and, to prevent her daughter from falling into the same trap she had almost fallen into, she had warned her of the perversion that could befall some adults so that KB could defend herself. Because of this, the girl had recognised what Jod was doing to her friend and that was the reason why her mothers were very nervous about letting her get on a frigate full of lawless pirates who had looted, killed and raped on the first day of occupation.

Jod had introduced them to Gutrik, a muscular and menacing female Devaronian, who would watch over KB's well-being, escorting her to and from home and staying with her at all times.

KB was secretly annoyed with the presence of her bodyguard: with her hovering the whole time, she couldn't even leave to use the bathroom without being followed. But at least she could move around the frigate, becoming a well-known figure and therefore, over time, uninteresting and inconspicuous. None of the pirates had bothered her or looked at her oddly. The licentious glances and jokes were reserved for the Devaronian who, it seemed, was courted by at least three pirates, none of whom, however, was reciprocated with the same interest.

-I have wandered around the entire frigate or at least in the areas I have managed to reach in the last few months, but I found no trace of 33!

KB was complaining to Fern about her lack of luck as they moved from the statistics class to programming class, walking along with dozens of other students who moved with them from classroom to classroom for their last lesson before the end of the school day.

-The important thing is not to raise suspicions.

Fern warned her for the umpteenth time. She was on edge every time her friend went up to the frigate.

When a heavy arm rested on her shoulders from behind her, she was taken completely by surprise.

-Hey, undersecretary! I'm organizing a little race in the old parking lot of the clinic, you know the one at the back. Do you and the pirates’ friend feel like participating or are you too busy being nice to the invaders?

KB turned around baring her teeth. She and her escort had been noticed, as had her stained clothes and greasy hands. No one had accused her of what they had accused Fern's mother of, even though her familiarity with pirates was frowned upon.

However, she did not have the opportunity to insult Bonji Faffa as she would have liked because a glance at her friend's pale and terrified face was enough for her to understand that something was wrong.

She grabbed Fern by her hand and dragged her away from the older boy, pushing her into the nearest bathroom.

-Out!

She thundered in the direction of two third-year girls who were washing their hands and then helped a hyperventilating Fern to sit on the floor before her legs gave out.

-Fern! Breathe! What's going on?

Fern let out a long, high-pitched wail, as her breathing grew faster and faster. KB, not knowing what to do, hugged her tightly.

-Calm down! Calm down! It's okay, you're safe!

Her friend returned her hug by squeezing her convulsively. After a few but very long minutes she finally calmed down. Her hands were still shaking when she finally broke away from KB. She couldn't feel her legs and couldn't get up from the bathroom floor.

-What happened, Fern? It was just Bonji.

KB asked her, full of anxiety. Fern blinked and trembled one last time.

-When he touched me... I thought it was Jod. His arm on my shoulder and his breath against my ear. I don't know what happened to me. I couldn't stop. I completely lost control. Even when I realized it was just Bonji, I couldn't stop being scared. I wanted to cry and scream. What happened to me? It's the second time it happens...

KB's hands trembled too. If she had a weapon and Jod in front of her... There would have been one less pirate on At Attin.

-It's over now.

KB tried to comfort her.

-He is not here. He no longer stays in your house. You don't have to put up with him anymore. You're safe.

Fern let out a brief hysterical laugh.

-For the time being. I'm safe for the time being!

-What do you mean?

Her friend asked in an alarmed tone.

-Has he started again?

Fern shook her head.

-No, he hasn’t. But not because he has lost interest in me.

She wanted to tell her friend what she really thought: that the way he looked at her every time he invited her and her mother to dinner at his house made her uncomfortable. He was always very correct in his attitudes and words, but the way he looked at her! As if she was the only being in the universe, as if she were a planet and he was a moon that orbited around it. Like a man looks at the woman he desires. But these things were not solid proof of his intentions and so she did not say a word about them, preferring to name the only concrete clue she had.

-He left Rennod's concubine's clothes at my house. Why leave them to me if he is not going to force me to wear them again?

KB grimaced in disgust: she had seen the clothes and found them obscene. The fact that Jod had left them with Fern did not bode well.

-Ok. It's not a good sign, you're right. But the important thing is that he hasn't touched you again, right? We're working on a solution, and you'll see... we will be able to contact Kh'ymm, she will send the X-wings here and you will never have to worry about him again.

Fern had nodded and together they had gone to class, albeit with a slight delay.

Chapter Text

IV.

Someone, unbeknownst to the girls, had witnessed Fern's panic attack. There were no cameras in the girls' bathrooms, but the droids roaming that particular hallway that day had recorded Fern's movements and transmitted them, as usual, to the supervisor. Jod hadn't expected to see anything strange, but when a guy approached KB and Fern and put his arm on his girl's shoulders, leaning over to talk to her, he stopped the recording, rewound it, and watched it again at normal speed. The droid had been too far away to hear what the boy had said to Fern but her terrified expression had been clear. KB had reacted angrily, moving her friend away from him and then taking her away, into a bathroom where he had lost them for more than fifteen minutes. On the way out they both seemed calmer and the rest of the day had continued as usual. Consumed by helpless rage, Jod had watched over and over again as the boy touched Fern with familiarity and as Fern's handsome face blanched and she had stiffened. He had almost destroyed his communicator throwing it against the wall. He wanted to go to Fara's house and talk to Fern, ask her what that boy had done and said to her to make her react like that but it was nighttime and if he did, he would also have to admit he was watching her. He paced, clenching his fists, wishing to hit something or someone. In the end he had to desist from acting immediately, and decided to go directly to school, bypassing Fara's mediation, and ask Fern herself to tell him what had happened, before finding that boy and making him lose forever the desire to touch his girl.

He had to wait two agonizing days before approaching her. He had to make it believable that the news had reached him after the event had happened and that it had not been of absolute priority for him.

Early in the morning he went to the school, with the excuse of making an inspection. He spoke to the individual teachers and then asked to speak to the class representative, always alone. The adults did not bat an eye, allowing him to meet the children face to face in the office that the headmaster had given him. Jod had shaken his head, incredulous: could it be that they didn't realize how risky it was to leave their children with a potentially dangerous adult? Not that he was dangerous to any of them or that the office was isolated and impossible to reach if he intended to hurt a child. But it was the trust in others that was at the base of their behaviour that troubled him. Fern's innocence, who after Lanupa had fearlessly showed herself half naked in front of him, began to make more and more sense as he got to know the inhabitants of her planet better.

When it was Fern's turn, she entered with a resolute stride and sat down in the chair opposite the headmaster's desk. He sat on the edge of the desk, close to her but not so close as to touch her. He drummed his fingers on the smooth surface of the table, suddenly unsure about how to proceed. In the end it was she who broke the silence.

-Hi Jod. What are you doing here? The others out there have told me that you have asked fairly general questions about how classes are going and how the various students are reacting to the occupation. Will you ask me that too?

Fern's voice sounded tense, but she was frowning and looked irritated. Jod smiled at her.

-I see you have figured out my plan. Seriously, my visit is all an excuse to see you.

She seemed surprised.

-Really?

She asked in an incredulous tone.

-Yes. Any excuse is good to spend time with you. You know that seeing you makes me happy. Or at least you should know it.

She seemed uncomfortable in the face of his candour. He made a gesture with his hand, trying to downplaying it.

-Don't worry, I don't expect you to reciprocate my joy in seeing you.

Then he sighed.

-Really Fern. I miss spending time with you. I wish for us to see each other more often but I realize that be seen with me could damage your reputation. I know there are rumours that I'm courting your mother, since I'm inviting you both to have dinner with me. You know it's not true, right?

He asked her anxiously.

-I'm not interested in your mother.

She looked dejected.

-I know. You want me.

Jod observed her. He didn't expect enthusiasm but it was discouraging to see how uncomfortable and nervous his interest in her made her.

-I wish you weren't so afraid of me.

He commented in a soft tone. She got upset.

-And who is to blame, if I am afraid of you?

She asked in an accusatory tone.

-You're right.

He conceded with a guilty grimace. Then he sighed.

-But lately I haven't done anything to justify your fear, right? As promised, I'm just stealing your time. No kisses, nothing romantic.

She looked away and wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. After a few moments of silence, Jod got to the real point for his visit.

-Fern... I was told that a few days ago someone scared you, here at school. Can you explain to me what happened?

Jod tried to maintain a sweet and reassuring tone of voice. Fern seemed dumbfounded.

-What...? Who told you such a thing?

-I have my sources.

Jod replied mysteriously. Fern rolled her eyes.

-They told me that a guy approached you. Talk to me...

Jod begged her.

-A boy...? Bonji?

Jod now had a name. Fern made a disgruntled face.

-It's not Bonji who scared me.

She stated forcefully.

-It was you!

Jod blinked in surprise.

-Me? What do I have to do with it?

He asked baffled.

-Bonji Faffa is an idiot and he is totally harmless. He is just full of hot air. Only a first year could be intimidated by him! No: you were the cause of my panic attack.

Fern's voice and expression grew resentful.

-He put his arm on my shoulders and spoke in my ear. As absurd as the probability was, I thought he was you. That you had come for me. It was like... like...

Fern seemed to be at loss for words and her face twisted into a desperate expression.

-It was as if I was back on the Libertas, with your hands on me! And I couldn't do anything! I was helpless because you were too strong for me and if I rebelled you would hurt my friends! I couldn't even say no to you, because I promised to be obedient!

She wiped her tear-stained cheeks angrily.

-Bonji is an idiot and he never scared me before and now, because of you, I’ve been afraid of him! I'm frightened that if someone else touches me as you touched me, I'll react the same way! When will it end? How long will it take for what you did to me to stop haunting me?

Fern's question resonated in the office and in Jod's head. He never thought that his actions could have such consequences. He knew he had made a mistake with her, he knew he had crossed the line and frightened her, but he did not think his actions would leave such deep wounds.

-Fern...

He didn't know what to say to her, how to justify himself. The truth would only horrify her. He couldn't tell her how much he still wanted her, how he thought of her all the time, how he had no intention of stopping until he got all she had to give him. All he could offer her was his sincere remorse for his past actions.

-It was never my intention to hurt you this way. I didn't realize to what extent I had damaged you. I'm sorry you're still afraid. I hoped that it would have passed by now. I haven't done anything to make you distrust me in many months. I strongly desire your trust, I would like you to feel comfortable in my presence.

He covered his face with his hands.

-I wish I had never hurt you. I wish I could go back and behave differently, treat you with the care and tact you deserved.

He tried to meet the girl's gaze but she averted her face.

-Do you believe me? Do you believe me when I tell you that I wish things had gone differently?

Fern shrugged.

-I believe you. But I don't think the result would be any different. I feel uncomfortable with the way you look at me sometimes. As if... as if... I don't know!

Fern couldn't explain herself: she had never been in such a situation with anyone before. Jod had been the first and only one to show that kind of interest in her and it had been frightening and humiliating.

-Fern...! Fern please, look at me.

She looked at him. He seemed genuinely heartbroken.

-You know how I feel about you. I have been clear about it.

Fern closed her eyes, she didn't like where the conversation was going.

-This is neither the time nor the place to talk about it.

She replied in a choked voice.

-You're right.

He nodded.

-But we have to talk about it. I've already kept you with me longer than I did the other class representatives. We have to finish it here otherwise it will seem suspicious. But we have to talk, you and I. Without your mother. I don't want to force you so I'll let you decide the time. Come to me, when you can, when you feel safe. I will do nothing against you. We'll just talk, I swear. Please, Fern. Give me a chance.

At those words, so similar to those he had said to her when he had forced her to become his concubine, Fern jumped up, feeling that she could not stay in that room a moment longer and left the headmaster's office, trying to appear normal without realizing that she was pale and that eyes were full of tears.

Fern mulled over the conversation she had had with Jod for a long time. She thought about it during the day, during lessons, she thought about it at night, instead of sleeping. She felt nervous and on her toes and knew that she had to go to him and talk but she couldn't make up her mind. The idea of going to his house by herself, to spend time with him alone, filled her with anxiety. Anything could happen. The rational part of her brain told her that he would keep his promises and the distance he had imposed on himself: he had had ample opportunities to do otherwise and all the power necessary to assault her again in those months but he had always behaved properly and had treated her with respect, maintaining his intention to leave her alone and no longer force his attentions on her. But her subconscious was not so easy to persuade. It took her about ten days to talk herself into doing it. However, she decided that it was better to be cautious and informed KB of what she was about to do. For obvious reasons, her friend was vehemently against it but Fern was determined to do it.

-Please, wait for me outside. I know it's a bother but I would feel safer if he knew you are in front of his house waiting for me.

-I'll came in with you!

KB had replied but Fern had shaken her head firmly.

-No, we have to talk and I wouldn't be able to if you were present.

Fern wrung her hands. It was hard enough to talk to him about what had happened, the embarrassment would have suffocated her if KB were to be present and heard.

All the way to the supervisor's house, KB kept trying to change her mind, but to no avail. When Jod opened the door, he raised an eyebrow at the sight of them both.

-I'm here to talk, as you asked.

Fern had begun.

-KB stays outside waiting for me.

The other girl had reserved a venomous look full of suspicion for the man who had silently moved away from the threshold to let Fern in and then closed the door in her friend's face.

Fern had sat down on the sofa in the living room, clutching her jacket and bouncing her leg nervously.

Jod had whispered something to the droid who had hurried to offer KB drinks and snacks and then sat down in the armchair, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward.

-Hi Fern.

She had had to clench her jaw to keep from shaking, but he still caught her nervousness.

-Don't worry. We're alone in the house but your friend is out here, just beyond that door, ready to intervene if she hears you screaming.

He sighed.

-Are you really so afraid of me? You have been to my house other times, with your mother, with KB herself. I have always kept my distance, I have never threatened you nor made offensive comments.

Fern met his gaze before letting her eyes wander. All her nervousness and fear seemed absurd. He was telling the truth. It had been months since she felt threatened. She nodded.

-It's true.

She granted.

-You behaved. But you implied that it's only a matter of time before you start again...

Jod stroked his chin and shook his head, heaving a sigh.

-I think there was a misunderstanding. I'm never going to behave with you again like I did in the past.

Fern looked at him bewilderedly.

-But you said...

-I thought I had been clear but maybe I wasn't clear enough. Do you know how I feel about you, Fern?

She swallowed and blushed.

-You desire me. You want to have sex with me.

He nodded.

-I desire you and I want to make love to you. I can assure you that never in all my life have I desired someone as I desire you. I have never experienced such a thing.

Jod wanted to call it love but the truth was that he wasn't sure he loved her. He had never loved before but he had always believed that love was a pure and delicate feeling, which brought out the best in people and pushed them to put the happiness of the other person before their own. What he felt for Fern was very similar but it veered a lot towards obsession.

-But I am not a paedophile, nor a rapist. Do you know what these words mean?

Fern's cheeks turned purple and her ears reddened as well. She nodded without looking at him.

-Good, because I'm not. That's why I stopped forcing you: because I was acting like a paedophile and a rapist and I didn't want to be like that. However, the fact that I has stopped touching and kissing you does not mean that I has stopped wanting to.

He spread his hands.

-I'm sorry if the way I look at you makes you feel uncomfortable but for me you are ... everything.

Fern looked him in the face. Jod's expression was open, honest and desperately sincere.

-I don't want to deny what I feel. I don't want to pretend that you are not special, unique, and the centre of my every thought. Don't ask me to.

Fern swallowed.

-I... I don't know what to say. You know I don't feel the same for you.

Jod nodded and looked disconsolate.

-Do you think that if things had gone differently... Would I have had an opportunity?

He asked her with a voice full of hope. Fern shrugged.

-I don't know.

She admitted.

-It's strange. I'm only thirteen while you... How old are you?

He seemed embarrassed.

-I don't know for sure. Between thirty-five and forty.

Fern looked at him, dumbfounded.

-How can you not know?

She asked in an incredulous voice. Jod's face emptied of all expression.

-I was born just before the Clone Wars. I don't remember my parents, maybe they died during the war. All they left me is my name. I have nothing else left. I grew up on my own. I have no idea of the year I was born. Perhaps by investigating the official records... but a long time has passed, three governments have changed and between civil wars and rebellions, only the Force knows what happened to my documents. It’s not worth it.

Jod fidgeted uneasily and Fern looked at him curiously. It was the first time he seemed to be struggling and he looked troubled, nervous and reluctant. Almost as if he were ashamed of his childhood. An idea struck her: that he had had a life before her and that it had been a hard life. He had always seemed unstoppable, ineluctable and invincible to her but he was just human. Suddenly she realized that she was a little less afraid of him. She nodded solemnly.

-I'm sorry for your parents.

He seemed confused.

-I don't even remember them.

-But they were your parents. They should have defended you and taken care of you and they didn't. Even if it wasn't their fault... It must have been difficult.

Jod didn't understand how the conversation had turned on his childhood but he realized that Fern's attitude was suddenly different, more relaxed, less closed and that she was leaning slightly towards him whereas before she had been rigid and with her arms wrapped around her torso, as if to protect herself. It was an improvement, it was good.

-Thank you, Fern. You're right. I was left alone and it was difficult. But it didn't last. When I was about Wim's age, a Jedi found me.

Fern's eyes widened.

-Are you telling me you're really a Jedi?

She asked him in an incredulous voice. Fern had never met a Jedi but she had read the same stories that Wim had read and Jod absolutely did not behave like a knight belonging to that mythical order. He shook his head, smiling crookedly.

-No. To become a knight, you must be trained by a master and pass the tests. I was trained by a teacher but she was killed a few years after my training had begun. We were always on the move, always on the run. She tried to teach me what she could but the training I received had been very limited. Or it was me who was not very gifted, who knows? She said I had talent... But my swordsmanship skills are practically nil, I know just enough not to amputate a limb. I have a little...

Jod brought his thumb and forefinger closer until they almost touched.

-… little talent for foresight but that is not much help because I have to concentrate hard to see the future and it does not warn me at all if I am about to run into danger. On the other hand, I am very good at telekinesis, perhaps the skill I have developed the most. And I know how to go unnoticed. Opening locks, escaping from prisons and handcuffs and disappearing into the crowd: these are the first things my teacher taught me. Those were terrible years and her paranoia was justified. I had to watch them kill her, I had to deny our bond, otherwise they would have killed me too.

Fern seemed shocked by his story.

-I'm sorry.

She repeated.

-That was a long time ago, Fern. I hardly think about it anymore.

She shuddered.

-I can't imagine losing all the people I love one after the other and being left alone. How did you survive? The galaxy outside At Attin is a terrible place.

Jod gave a half-smile full of bitterness.

-I joined the pirates! The best decision of my life!

He laughed but without joy. She looked at him strangely.

-Do you regret becoming a pirate?

He sighed.

-Sincerely? No: at that time it was the only chance I had and even today, looking back, I don't see what other path I could have followed. I could become one of the villains. Or be overwhelmed and die. I didn't want to die. I took the only possible decision.

-I understand.

Farn said earnestly.

-Really?

Jod sounded surprised. Fern looked into his face, meeting his gaze.

-Sometimes the only choice is between a series of terrible decisions. And you have to choose the least terrible one. Yes, I understand.

He seemed impressed.

-Thank you, Fern. You don't know what it means to me that you don't judge me.

He looked at her again as if she were something special and extraordinary and Fern lowered her eyes, embarrassed. A long silence fell between them.

-I'm glad you came. It means that you trust me and my promises at least a little. I would like to take advantage of your trust just a little more. I will not betray it. Let me... Please.

He moved from where he was sitting, slowly getting up and kneeling in front of her. Very slowly he stretched out his right arm and, looking at her intensely, he placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing.

Fern followed the movement of his hand, looking at it as if she couldn't understand what it was doing on her shoulder.

-What are you feeling right now, Fern?

He asked her in a whisper. Fern opened and closed her mouth a couple of times.

-Are you afraid?

She shook her head and he smiled, relieved.

-Can you tell me how you feel?

Fern thought about it for a moment.

-Your hand... It's not hurting me. I feel your grip but it’s not too tight. It's like... like you're trying to comfort me. I have this impression, that's it.

-No negative emotions?

She shook her head, and Jod's face was split in two by a beaming smile. Slowly he raised his hand and let his arm fall.

-I don't want you to be afraid of me, I don't want you to have a panic attack every time someone accidentally touches you because you associate a hand on a shoulder with a violence. I would like to help you create positive memories associated with me. That's why I want to spend some time with you. It wasn't bad today, was it?

She shook her head and offered him a shy smile and the knot of nervousness in the pit of her stomach dissolved completely.

-Good.

He whispered.

-One last thing remains to be clarified. Please don't take it badly: what did that guy say to you to make you react like that?

Fern frowned, the sudden change of subject had confused her.

-Bonji? KB and I have a little rivalry with him and his clique. We did races with the speederbike and that idiot almost always won. He is in his last year and has an adult speederbike faster than mine and he never missed an opportunity to gloat. He had invited us to a race he was organizing, but we didn't go.

Jod bent his head, curious.

-Do you like racing?

She shrugged, looking away.

-I used to. Now I don't anymore. It’s not your fault!

She hastened to clarify.

-It's just that... before it was the only thing to do if you wanted to have fun here. At Attin was a boring place. Right now... After being out there it seems so childish to me. Bonji Faffa looks like a stupid and ignorant kid and it's not worth wasting time with him and his stupid friends.

-Ok. Thank you for telling me.

Jod sighed in relief. He had feared that the boy might be a rival but now Fern had downgraded him to nothing. It wasn't even worth it to make him have an accident.

-I still feel guilty for what happened. I really didn't mean to hurt you like that. If there's something, anything I can do... Please tell me.

She began to shake her head but then froze and her expression became thoughtful.

-There is something I would like. But I don't know...

-Tell me. If I can, I will give it to you.

Jod hastened to promise. She pursed her lips, uncertain, but then made her request.

-I would like to see SM-33.

-The droid?

Jod asked incredulously.

-Yes. It is the only one I have not heard from since. Neel had befriended the mouse that lived in its head. I would like to see with my own eyes what happened to them.

Jod nodded.

-It can be done. The droid is on my frigate. You could come up with me... But only if you feel like it. I don't want you to think I'm forcing you. If you believe you can trust me enough to let me take you to the Libertas...But I warn you that I'm not going to let Fara on my frigate. You can ask KB, maybe one of those afternoons she is working in the engine room. We could go with her or you can come back with her.

Fern nodded.

-I'll think about it. Thank you for your offer. Now maybe it would be better to see how KB is doing.

Jod rose from his position, grimacing with annoyance at how his knees ached after kneeling for several minutes. He held out a hand to her and cheered internally when she put her own into his, letting him help her up. He decided not to try his luck and let her go immediately.

-Thank you for coming and trusting me.

On the way back, Fern told KB how she had managed to get invited to the Libertas to see 33. Her friend was much less enthusiastic about the idea.

-Fern! What were you thinking? You agreed to be alone with him on the frigate!

Her friend had reassured her.

-He won't try to do anything to me. You know... he seemed really regretful. I can't explain it but I believe his promise. He won't try to force me anymore.

KB remained silent. She didn't trust Jod and Fern had already justified in the past his unforgivable behaviour and minimized what he did to her, taking the blame for his morbid attentions.

-I don't like it.

She had pointed out decisively.

-It's done now.

Fern had cut it short.

-It will be a kind of test. Let's see how he behaves, if I'm right or you are. So far he hasn't crossed the line, not even when he had the opportunity and I was locked in his cabin where he could do what he wanted and no one would have said anything. Why should he attempt something now?

KB had sighed and had not commented.

Finding the right opportunity, however, was not easy. Fern had proposed to go together and then split up, returning separately but KB had put her foot down.

-No. If you want us to do it your way, indulge me on this: you and Jod arrive later and when I'm done in the engine room we’ll go home together. I wouldn't have a moment of peace knowing that you'll came back with him who knows when, who knows in what condition. If I can accompany you home and see with my own eyes that he has done nothing to you, I will be happier.

They had to enlist the help of Wim and Neel. Wim in particular was not at all happy that the two girls had acted without them and did not want to be left behind for the umpteenth time.

-You have no excuse to get on the Libertas!

Fern had reminded him.

-KB and I will go and you two will provide me with an alibi with my mother. You will pick me up with the speederbike and then you will be untraceable until dinner time. If someone asks you something we went around all afternoon, without ever meeting anyone and we stopped to drink lemonade and eat chocolate in the park. Have I been clear?

Wim had snorted and Neel had agreed for both.

And so, after leaving the two boys, Fern had gone to Jod's house. He had a closed shuttle prepared instead of the usual open transport.

-So no one will see us together.

He had said with irony. Fern was relieved.

-You had a good idea. Thank you, I hadn't thought about it.

She smiled at him, grateful, and after parking her bike in the back she had boarded the shuttle with him.

When they landed in the hangar, Fern felt her stomach twist with nervousness. The ramp lowered and Jod went down, turning to look at her.

-It’s all right?

He asked her, seeing her hesitate. She nodded quickly and got out in turn, stopping next to him. She had no positive memories of the place and for a moment she panicked. What was she thinking? She looked at him suspiciously and he grimaced, noticing her expression.

-Come with me. This way.

He motioned for her to follow him and then set off. It took Fern a moment to realize that he would not grab her and drag her with him, that he expected her to walk beside him of her own free will and hurried to join him.

-Thank you again for allowing me to come.

She told him, anxious to break the silence that had fell between them. He gave her a fleeting glance and a smile.

-Of course.

She looked around. The frigate had not changed at all compared to her memories. The few pirates they came across stared at them, seeing the captain in the company of his former concubine. The new ones were quickly made aware of who she was, with whispered explanations and pointing fingers. Fern felt uncomfortable, the object of the men's gazes, and walked closer to Jod almost touching him. When a pirate looked at her from head to toe, she felt her heart jump in her throat and she was the one who took him by the arm, clinging to the sleeve of his dark jacket. Jod turned to stare at her, amazed. Then he noticed her embarrassment and curled his lips, showing his teeth to the member of his crew who had dared to stare at her so brazenly.

-You're safe with me, Fern.

She would have been safe anyway. No one would have ever dreamed of touching her: everyone knew who she was. But Jod was pleased that she had sought protection by approaching and touching him. He was careful, however, not to touch her in turn. He liked the idea that she felt safe with him, he didn't want her to be afraid of him too.

He took her to Benjor's workshop, the latest addition to his crew and an addition he was particularly proud of. The old tib was an excellent mechanic and an enthusiast of ancient droids. Initially he had not wanted to follow Silvo to his new headquarter, he had retired from the pirate life and he worked in his shop in Porto Borgo, repairing droids and enjoying his old age but he had not been able to resist when the captain told him that on the planet where they had settled, pre-Clone War droids were still produced,  a model that had been out of production since before the Empire because it belonged to the same series of battle droids used by the Confederacy. Since the outbreak of the war, the model had fallen into disuse, no one wanted to buy it and it had been returned en masse to the manufacturer. The news that it was not only still used but even produced in brand new units had intrigued him and, after a long work of persuasion, Benjor had allowed himself to be convinced. He was thinking of moving to the surface but, for the time being, he had regained possession of his old space on the Libertas, which had once again filled up with old, malfunctioning droids and battered spare parts.

When the pirate and the girl entered the workshop, he was bent over his work table, disassembling an arm, separating the parts that were still usable from scraps to be recycled.

-Benjor! Let me introduce you to someone special!

Jod began with a smile.

-Benjor, this is Fern. Fern, he is Benjor Pranik, the best droid expert in this part of the galaxy and a fine connoisseur of vintage pieces such as our SM-33.

The tib limped towards them.

-It's a pleasure to meet you, miss.

He began.

-Captain Silvo told me that you came for a visit to an old droid! Come, come!

He guided them to the back of the workshop where, leaning against a wall, some droids were stored. Fern immediately recognized SM-33, deactivated and immobile.

-I still have to get to work on him. It's an interesting model: it's been at least one hundred and fifty years since they stopped producing it and spare parts are obviously impossible to find but with a little imagination and ingenuity you can adapt parts from other droids!

Fern approached it with a sad expression.

-Can it be turned on?

She asked Jod. Without answering, Jod reached out and activated the switch positioned on the back of its head. SM-33's only functioning eye lit up and in a jerky motion the droid turned its head, looking at the two humans in front of it.

-Ca-captain Jod.

He exclaimed, then turned to the girl.

-And Captain Fern!

Fern felt her heart leap into her throat.

-Captain?

She asked the droid breathlessly.

-Captain of the Onyx Ci-cinder.

33 confirmed.

-What?

Jod yelled next to her. The droid turned to him again.

-As the pirate code states, a ca-captain can only claim one ship at a time. Jod is captain of the frigate. Fern is captain of the Onyx Cinder.

-Absolutely not!

Jod said, gnashing his teeth and turning off the droid again, despite Fern's protests.

-It doesn't work like that! The Onyx Cinder is mine!

He stared into Fern's eyes with an irritated expression. The girl nodded slowly.

-As you say, Jod. I'm not a pirate, surely you know the code better than me.

He seemed to calm down and regain his good mood.

-Good. You saw the droid. Are you happy?

Fern nodded and forced herself to smile at him, showing her gratitude.

-Yes and thank you. You were really kind to bring me here and spend your time with me.

He smiled back at her.

-You know that for me it is a pleasure to spend time with you. You are my priority, at any time.

Jod clenched his hands into fists, resisting the temptation to touch her.

-Is there anything else you want to do?

She seemed to think about it, then looked around.

-In fact, there would be another thing...

She turned to the tib.

-There was a small mouse-like creature living in SM-33's head. Did you find it?

Benjor nodded.

-Yes, that little pest had gnawed at the droid's circuits and made its way into its electronic brain. Wait a second.

He limped up to a pile of spare parts and began to rummage through it. With an exclamation of victory he straightened up, holding a small furry creature in his hand.

-Yes! That's it!

Fern turned to Jod anxiously.

-Can I take it? Neel was fond of it and I would like to bring it to him. It would mean a lot to him.

-Of course, Fern!

He agreed, anxious to please her. The girl reached Benjor and gently took the mouse from his hands and clutched it to her chest.

-Thanks again. I saw what I wanted to see. We can go get KB now.

Jod escorted her out and to the engine room. The pirates must have spread the news of Fern's presence and the protective way in which the captain watched over her because the crew was extremely polite, acknowledging both of them and avoiding looking too much at the girl.

KB was pleased to see Fern relaxed and calm and greeted with a smile the mouse she was carrying, only reserving an annoyed look to Jod who, silently, escorted the two friends back to the hangar and to the transport.

When they arrived at his house, he stopped Fern.

-Fern... Were you satisfied today?

She stopped with KB who took her by the hand, looking first at her and then at Jod who did not even look at her, all his focus on the other girl. Fern nodded, looking down.

-Yes. I... everything went well. You made me feel at ease.

He had made her feel protected and it was something Fern had to think about. Jod nodded, smiling.

-Good.

Then he turned to KB.

-See? Your friend is safe and sound. I kept my promise and behaved impeccably. I understand that asking you to trust me is perhaps too much, but at least you could consider giving me the benefit of the doubt.

KB grimaced and didn't reply. Jod took it as an improvement. KB, being pretty much Fern's only friend, had a lot of influence over her. For a long time, he had considered the fact that earning her trust was essential: if she whispered against him in Fern's ear, winning her over would be even more difficult, an uphill road and already the task was difficult to achieve. The alternative he had considered was to push her away somehow, to isolate Fern from everyone so that he would be the only one she could turn to but he didn't like the idea of ruining her to that degree. He wanted Fern to come to him, whole and of her own volition, not because he had scorched earth around her and broken her until she had no other options. That meant ingratiating himself with KB as well, and he had already started offering her to work in the engine room. They told him that she was really enthusiastic about the job and that she was a quick learner. Now all that was left was to convince her that he would not hurt her friend anymore, just as he had to convince Fern herself.

He watched them walk away, already starting to think about another activity they could do together.

The next day the four friends reunited again at Fern's home, which had become their de facto base of operations.

-I found 33!

The girl had announced.

-It is being repaired, that's why you haven't seen it.

She revealed to KB.

-But I'm sure it won't be difficult for you to find an excuse to go to it. There's an old mechanic, a tib, who repairs droids. You could ask him to show you how to do it and with some excuse go to his lab and reactivate SM-33.

Fern smiled beamingly at them.

-I have extraordinary news: we won't have to convince it to come with us! It considers me the captain of the Onyx Cinder!

The others made exclamations of joy and amazement.

-Yes. Apparently Jod lost the captain's title when he claimed the Libertas. According to 33, he cannot be captain of both ships and it recognizes me as its legitimate captain! 

She turned to her friend.

-I will record a message for you, you will show it to 33 and then it will obey you. You will take the Onyx Cinder and cross the barrier, contact the lady of the moon and the x-wings will come to save us.

-But...

Wim protested.

-… the pirates will notice what is happening. What If they try to chase her?

Fern bit her lip, thoughtful.

-We have to distract Jod so that his people can't contact him while KB escapes.

-Cover fire!

Neel exclaimed, surprisingly.

-On the roof of the school there is a cannon, or at least there should be, as on At Achran.

The other three looked at him in amazement.

-A cannon?

Wim echoed him. Neel nodded.

-Hena showed me. If it's on the roof, I can activate it and protect KB, shooting the frigate if they try to attack the ship.

-Good.

Fern said in a trembling voice.

-Only Jod remains. Unfortunately, I am the only one who can get his attention so totally that he will ignores any message from his men.

-Fern!

KB exclaimed horrified.

-What do you plan to do?

Fern raised a hand, to stop her objections.

-Nothing drastic. He said he wants to spend time with me. I will grant it to him. We have to think of an isolated place, where we will not be interrupted. I can ask him to turn off the communicator, I'm sure if I ask him, he will.

KB was not happy at all.

-An isolated place, alone with him, without interruptions? Do you realize how he could interpret your request?

The two girls looked at each other. Wim and Neel stared at them without understanding.

-It would be the last time.

Fern said in a faint voice.

-I will not start anything. I hope he doesn't either. But if it were to happen...

Fern inhaled deeply, trying to calm the trembling of her hands.

-Anyway it would be the last time: the x-wings will hunt down pirates and I will never have to deal with him again.

It took weeks to implement the plan. The cannon was the easiest part: Neel went to the roof the next day and confirmed its presence and that he could make it work, then KB had to find Benjor's lab and learn his movements. When she finally returned with the news that she had activated SM-33 and it had agreed to the plan, only Jod remained.

-I thought about it and in the end I came up with an idea. I could suggest that we meet in the woods, to show him where we found the Onyx Cinder. Do you remember how excited he was to have Tak Rennod's ship? Me and him, alone, in the woods. In my opinion he will not be able to resist.

-Are you sure you want to do it, Fern?

Her friend asked her for the umpteenth time. The girl nodded. She had seen Jod other times, always in the company of her mother and she realized that he no longer scared her as before. In fact, after their conversation at his home, she realized that she had a huge influence on him. Her company was something the pirate wanted but, unlike what had happened before, he would no longer use violence to take what he wanted. Fern was the only one with the power to give him something he longed for and the awareness of having the power for the first time made her confident and daring. She knew that her mother was concerned about the way she conversed with him when they were together: freely and as equals, daring to be grumpy or ironic depending on the circumstances. He seemed enthusiastic about her change and the conversations at the table were increasingly between the two of them, excluding Fara.

They coordinated their movements: Wim and Neel would be at the school, ready to offer cover to KB. Fern was going to proposed to meet with Jod a few hours after KB's departure for the frigate, in order to give her time to sneak away, activate SM-33 and steal the Onyx Cinder.

Fern was the first to arrive at the appointment. She parked her bike and went down into the ditch that ran along the city.

The spot where the ship had been buried for decades was obvious: a huge hole in the landscape. She hadn’t yet reached the bottom of the ditch when she heard the noise of Jod's speederbike. She stopped and looked up. He leaned out, saw her, and got down in turn.

-Thank you for accepting my invitation.

She told him nervously. They were alone, there was no one around. In the silence she could only hear their breaths and the rustling of the leaves moved by the wind.

Fern cleared her throat.

-It's here, look.

She pointed to the chasm left by the Onyx Cinder and Jod ventured onto the turned over ground.

-Fascinating!

He exclaimed, smiling, moving from here to there like an excited child.

-She fell so close to the town! And no one has ever noticed anything!

-Yes.

Fern commented.

-I think that if the droids had known, they would have destroyed her. Strange that they didn't see anything.

Jod turned around.

-Maybe in the landing she moved the soil that fell back on her. The only explanation is that she crashed at night, otherwise they would have seen the cloud she must have lifted when she fell.

He walked up and down the empty space left by the ship, moving the ground and climbing the slopes of the hole, before returning to her, smiling happily and shaking the dirt off his hands.

-I was really pleased to receive your message.

He told her. Now that his curiosity had been satisfied, she was once again the centre of his attention. Fern shrugged.

-You said you want to spend time with me. That you miss my company. I thought it was something we could do together without any problems.

He looked at her intensely and his expression softened.

-Fern, I...

His communicator beeped. Jod looked down and put his hand to his belt to pick it up. Fern stepped forward and placed her hand on his. Jod froze and then looked up, amazed. Fern became nervous, she had to stop him from answering.

-Do you remember what you told me? That you want me to associate you with positive things?

Jod nodded, leaving the communicator alone. Fern took a deep breath, mustering up all her courage.

-I would like you to touch me. I want to try not to be afraid of you anymore.

Jod's eyes widened and then his expression filled with hope.

-Really?

He whispered.

-Do you trust me?

She moved uneasily.

-I don't know, but I'd like to try.

Jod moved closer and raised both hands.

-I will touch your head, okay?

She nodded and he put his hands on her hair. Fern released the breath she was holding. It wasn't that difficult.

-Are you afraid?

He asked her in a hoarse voice, looking intensely into her eyes.

-No.

She answered and was surprised because it was the truth. She was nervous about what was happening to KB but she was sure that Jod wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to, that if she told him no, he would stop.

He caressed her hair, combed in her usual braid. With his thumbs he followed the contour of her ears and then caressed her cheeks. Fern began to breathe heavily.

-All right?

He inquired.

-Yes.

She confirmed with a faint voice. She felt strange. When he put both palms on her cheeks, she felt herself blushing and parted her lips because she felt short of breath. She noticed that Jod's hands were trembling. He ran his thumbs over her eyebrows and then over her eyelids, which closed instinctively. Fern tilted her face upwards, following the gentle caresses he was giving her. Jod moaned softly.

At that moment an explosion and the unmistakable sound of cannons echoed in the clearing. With a jerk, Jod left her and turned to look up at the sky. He howled as the Onyx Cinder and some of his fighters whizzed past their heads. Fern too screamed, KB's name. Jod turned to look at her as the awareness of what she and her friends had done made its way across his face.

-No...

He whispered in shock.

-What did you do?

He screamed before he started running towards his speederbike. After a moment's hesitation she followed him on her bike. She heard him screaming curses and insults as they darted through the trees, towards the nearby town. Jod was yelling into his communicator to cease fire but from the noise coming from the sky they either didn't hear him or were ignoring him. As soon as they moved out of the forest cover and onto the concrete road, Jod braked abruptly. A plume of smoke rose from the school and the Onyx Cinder was losing altitude, leaving behind a trail of fire and smoke.

-Hold your fire! Don't shoot down the ship!

Jod yelled into the communicator for the umpteenth time and was finally heard. The two fighters tailing the Onyx Cinder moved away but the ship continued to lose altitude, making smaller and smaller circles over the city. Jod leaned over on his bike and set off again at top speed, quickly distancing Fern who was following him. The Onyx Cinder ended her run on the At Attin theatre, crashing into its glass dome. Fern followed Jod inside in time to see the ship break through the dome that had cushioned her fall and plummet. Jod had gotten off his bike and held his arm outstretched towards the ship, red in the face from the effort. The ship stopped falling, apparently supported by a few metal beams. Jod raised his left arm and made the gesture of clenching the air with a fist. The ship's hatch made an ominous noise of bending metal and opened, crumpling on itself.

-Who is on board, apart from KB?

Jod growled at Fern, trembling with the effort to focus on the ship.

-SM-33 only.

Fern replied in tears. Jod let go of the hatch and reached out with his left hand again, moving his fingers gently. KB's small, motionless body slid down the ramp. Fern screamed in desperation and Jod lunged forward, somehow managing to grab her in his arms, preventing her from hitting the ground. He quickly moved away from under the ship which fell with a last metallic moan, crashing. Jod gently stretched KB out on the floor as Fern knelt beside them. He straightened her head and felt her neck.

-She’s breathing and her pulse is regular.

Her friend, however, did not open her eyes and a drop of blood ran suddenly down her right nostril, staining her cheek.

-No!

Jod yelled. At that moment the pirates broke into the building. Jod picked up KB again and strode towards them.

-I need a transport, immediately. We have to take her to the hospital.

Fern hurried to follow them.

-No! You stay put!

Jod screamed in anger, addressing her.

-You!

He called out to one of the pirates.

-Size her and take her to the Libertas. Put her in a cell with those other two reckless, foolish children! A human boy and a myykian named Wim and Neel. Surely they were the ones who fired from the ground. I will deal with them later!

Fern still tried to follow Jod and KB but the pirate grabbed her and lifted her up bodily while she struggled and screamed. Jod turned toward them one last time.

-Go easy on her.

He admonished him.

-She's my concubine, I don't want bruises.

Then he disappeared with her friend and Fern was dragged into a transport, taken to the frigate and locked in a cell, where Wim and Neel soon joined her. The two boys were thrown into Fern's cell and fell with a thud and a groan. Fern helped them to their feet.

-Guys, are you okay?

They nodded and reassured her: the pirates had yanked and pushed them but had not treated them with cruelty.

-Where is KB?

Neel asked, and Fern burst into tears. She told them how the Onyx Cinder had crashed and KB had been unconscious when Jod had taken her away.

-I don't even know if she's okay!

She exclaimed in tears.

-Jod was furious and forbade me to follow them to the hospital.

She did not tell them that he had called her his concubine in front of the pirates. She wasn't sure if he had done it because he considered her as such or to give her the protection that the title offered her and she wanted to talk to him about it before panicking.

They waited a long time for someone to come for them. No one brought them food nor drink, despite the fact that they called the guards. They fell asleep huddled on the floor, clinging to each other, because the cell had no furniture whatsoever, only bare walls and a rough floor. They didn't know how much time had passed, but their lips were dry and their stomachs were rumbling when Jod finally came for them. He was wearing the helmet, which made him scary because they couldn't see his expression and therefore judge his mood. He was flanked by two pirates and stopped in front of them, on the other side of the bars.

-How is KB?

Fern asked in a trembling voice. Jod crossed his arms over his chest.

-Alive.

He said in a metallic voice. Fern clung to the bars as her legs giving way in relief.

-What should I do with you, you irresponsible little spoiled brats?

He asked, and not even the helmet could mask the poisonous tone of the question. He turned to a pirate.

-Open the door and take the girl. The other two remain in the cell.

The three friends did not rebel and Fern allowed herself to be extracted from the cell without protesting and without resisting. Jod grabbed her by the arm, squeezing cruelly.

-With the other two, act as I have established. I will personally take care of the punishment of my concubine.

The two pirates looked uncomfortable, one even gave the girl a pitiful look.

Jod walked away alone. The two pirates were stopped by the boys who begged for water and food.

-Jod...

She tried to say but he squeezed her arm even more and quickened his pace so much that she almost had to run.

-Silence! I don't want to hear your voice right now!

He silenced her and she didn’t say anything until she realized that he was taking her to his cabin.

-Jod!

She exclaimed, alarmed, trying with her free hand to detach his fingers from around her arm.

He went inside and threw her forcefully into the cabin, slamming the door behind him. He stopped, leaning against the closed door and Fern stood in the room, uncertain and vaguely frightened. With an angry gesture, he took off his helmet and threw it to the side.

-By the Abyss, Fern!

He exclaimed angrily and then collapsed against the door, closing his eyes, with a desperate expression.

-What did you do?

Fern trembled and wrapped her arms around her torso.

-I'm sorry...

She began in a faint voice.

-Sorry?

Jod exploded, breaking away from the door and advancing towards her. Fern backed away in fear until she reached the bed, the place of all her nightmares.

-KB stopped breathing, while I was taking her to the hospital!

He thundered at her. Fern covered her mouth with both hands, shocked.

-The doctors took her directly to the operating room. They believe she will recover, but before knowing if her brain has been compromised, she will have to wake up from the coma in which she was induced to facilitate her recovery. Her implants were damaged when the ship crashed.

Jod took a deep breath, trying to regain control.

-I didn't know how extensive her cybernetic implants were. I didn't realize...

He shook his head, rubbing his temples.

-They said that her implants are the only thing that keeps her alive. They need constant maintenance because they have to change them as she grows.

He passed her by and let himself fall on his bed, with his elbows on his knees and a dejected air.

-I will have to punish the three of you for what you have done.

He said in a flat voice.

-How will you punish us?

She asked him in a whisper. Jod ran a hand over his face.

-If one of my crew had betrayed me like this, I would have them killed. You are not crew. If they were adults, Wim and Neel would lose an arm or an eye as a warning but they are children, this gives me a bit of leeway. Their punishment will hurt their souls more than their bodies. A few hours ago, the Libertas left At Attin. It's been a long time since we raided a ship: there was no need for it with all the gold you produce for us. We will return to old habits, we will assault a freighter and Wim and Neel will participate. I have entrusted them to reliable men, they will make sure that nothing will happen to them but they will make sure that they shoot at our victims, civilians and guards who are only defending themselves from us. Once they too will be guilty of an act of piracy, they will think twice before thinking about calling the army. KB has been punished sufficiently.

Fern trembled. They had left At Attin, Wim and Neel would participate in a pirate assault and perhaps be forced to kill someone.

-And my punishment?

She asked in a faint voice as her knees trembled.

-I... I was very angry when I realized that you had used me. That you had used the attraction I feel for you to distract me while your friends acted behind my back.

He smiled without joy.

-Very good, very good indeed. I would have never expected it from you.

He paused before lifting his face and looking at her.

-Was it all a lie? In the woods? Was anything you said and did true?

Fern looked down, unable to meet his gaze. Jod didn't look threatening or furious. He seemed devastated, hurt and heartbroken. She sat down on the bed next to him.

-I'm sorry.

She repeated.

-Really, I am. I didn't mean to hurt you. I wasn't pretending in the woods. I really wasn't afraid of you. I... I trust you. I wouldn't have been alone with you, I wouldn't have allowed you to touch me, if I hadn't believed that you would have stopped if I had asked you to.

He did not reply. When he spoke, his voice was flat and emotionless.

-Do you know what everyone on the frigate thinks I'm doing to you? What do they expect me to be doing to you?

Fern didn't answer: she had a vague idea but it was so horrible that she didn't want to mention it.

-I remember a captain I served years ago.

He continued.

-He caught his concubine cheating on him with another man. He killed him and dragged her in front of the whole crew. He stripped her and whipped her. Then he left her to his men. I didn't stay to watch. That woman was a whore and she was used to it but she screamed anyway. I will not do the same to you. My crew knows that I am a jealous man and that I would not bear to see you with another. But they expect me to punish you, they expect to see the marks of my punishment on your body.

His voice cracked and he covered his face with both hands.

-I don't want to do it. I don't want to raise my hand against you. I spent almost a year convincing you that I would never hurt you again, I won't start again now. You... you are precious for me. I'm angry, disappointed and saddened but I could never hit you. You could try to kill me and I still wouldn't rise a hand against you. I have never hit a defenceless woman, a woman who did not have the means and the will to defend herself. I won't start with you. But I'm stuck in this situation. I can't leave you unpunished, not after my outburst. Not after I have brought you here. As long as you stay locked up in my bedroom no one will see you but sooner or later you will have to go out. I don't want to hold you captive. What will I do?

They were silent for long minutes, then Fern got up on unsteady legs and knelt down in front of him. She didn't like what she was about to propose but it was the lesser of two evils.

-You could beat me.

Jod quickly pulled back, away from her.

-What?

He exclaimed.

-Do you remember when I got into a fight with Zelda and your men thought you hit me? Do it. A black eye and a broken lip are nothing. They think you're...

Fern trembled. She couldn't say it.

-We will give them what they expect to see. Only we know what really happens in here.

-I can’t, Fern.

He groaned.

-I... I care too much about you. I couldn't hit you. You don't know how to defend yourself from me, I'm too strong. I would feel like a monster.

-So teach me how to defend myself!

She exclaimed, standing up.

-If you also have a black eye, the story I defended myself while you were hurting me will be more plausible.

Jod swallowed, shaking his head but Fern took his hands and pulled, trying to get him up. He let her do it, reluctantly.

-Fern...

She assumed a fighter’s stance, fists up to guard her face.

-Like this?

She asked him and Jod sighed.

-No, if you try to hit someone like that, you risk breaking your wrist.

He took her fists and showed her how to better close her hand.

Many hours later Fern had aching arms that would surely fill with bruises, from how she had deflected Jod's blows, and a red and swollen bruise where he had slapped her in the face when she had failed to parry the first blow he had inflicted on her, not having realized how hard he would hit.

-That's enough.

He begged her, winching while looking at the bruise on her cheek.

-We’ll try again tomorrow.

Fern agreed. Then she looked around.

-I imagine we'll sleep together again.

She said in a dejected tone. She still had sporadic nightmares of the nights spent hugged to him and those frightening mornings when he woke up excited and touched her. Jod sighed.

-There is only one bed... But I will stay on my side and you on yours. We will sleep clothed and nothing will happen. I promise I won't drink too much.

He said ironically and Fern blushed violently, remembering the morning she woke up and he had been completely naked. He shook his head.

-I'm going to get you something to eat and drink. I have heard your stomach growl several times.

She nodded and then grimaced for the pain the bruise on her cheek caused her.

-I'm a disaster...

She muttered, covering the bruise with her hand. He looked at her, appraising her.

-You are not a disaster. You have good reflexes. We have to work on muscle tone and you have to practice every day until the movements I taught you become automatic. The fact that you are shorter and smaller than me may play to your advantage but the narrow environment of my cabin benefits me: you can move little, here my greater mass and strength give me a considerable advantage. You’ll see, if you continue to apply yourself you will become an opponent not to be underestimated, even for men bigger and stronger than you.

Jod's expression became guilty and full of remorse.

-No man will ever be able to force you again, I will teach you to escape some clutches and how to hit a man to incapacitate him. I will not hold anything back: in the end you will be able to defend yourself even from me.

Jod put his helmet back on and went out, leaving her alone. Fern felt a wave of gratitude for him. In that moment she felt sure that he really regretted what he had done to her and that he would never do it again. She couldn't wait to be strong and regain control of the situation. She would never be afraid to be alone with him again, she would never be a victim again.

Four days passed before the Libertas identified the right ship. Fern only learned of what had happened after the fact, when Jod informed her that they were heading to Porto Borgo to celebrate.

-Wim and Neel?

She asked anxiously. Jod grimaced.

-They are fine. Wim participated in the assault, firing at the merchant ship's guards. Neel, on the other hand, fired only a couple of shots before bursting into tears. They had to bring him back aboard the frigate before a stray shot hit him.

The man sighed and his expression became hesitant.

-They’re asking about you. Even the crew wonders what condition you are in. I have to take you out and let them see you. It won't be pleasant, you know what everyone thinks.

The bruise on her cheek was still a deep purplish colour and Fern's arms and hips were full of bruises where Jod's fists had landed. She nodded.

-Another banquet where I will have to sit on your lap?

She asked exasperated. Jod's expression did not bode well.

-You need proper clothes and you have lost my favour.

He took a deep breath.

-If you feel like it, I would like you to sit at my feet. I know it's humiliating but you'll be covered from the sight of most of my crew. I know you don't like it but I'll feed you. Try to understand: you have to appear shamed and defeated. But if you really don't want to, it'll also be okay to sit on my lap.

She made an annoyed sound and then waved a hand.

-All right. I’ll sit at your feet like a pet. What will I wear? Rennod's concubine's clothes are in my house.

He ran a hand over his hair.

-In Porto Borgo there is a shop that sells them. I can pop in there and find you something that's your size, for once. Nothing scandalous!

He hastened to clarify.

-I'll try to find the most modest dress they have!

Jod kept his promise, showing up with a black two-piece dress.

-It should be your size, for once. Try it on.

Fern hide in the bathroom with her dress. The amount of fabric was promising and when she put it on Fern felt... different. She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and struggled to recognize the girl in the reflection. She didn't look like a child, she looked like a young woman. The upper part of the dress closed at the neck, covering her from the collarbone to the waist, leaving her shoulders and arms uncovered. The bruises were evident and on display. The skirt brushed her feet and covered her entirely but had two deep slits that reached the belt and left her legs uncovered when she moved but completely covered if she stood still. The skirt began just after the end of the top piece, leaving a finger of skin bare. The simple gold chain motif of the belt was repeated on the choker.

She came out of the bathroom hesitantly. Jod was waiting for her and when he looked at her, she could clearly see the desire on his face. She knew that what he felt towards her had not changed but in those days of forced cohabitation he had always behaved well, keeping his distance and trying to touch her as little as possible. Now his eyes roamed over her and seemed to burn her skin. She moved uncomfortably and wrapped her arms around her, in a defensive gesture, and he cleared his throat, looking away.

-Forgive me.

He said in a hoarse voice.

-I'm making you uncomfortable. But you're... beautiful and ... I mean, you're always beautiful but that dress...

He uttered a strangled sound. That dress made her look older. The breasts were not tied and their contour was clearly visible, as was the tip of the nipples. The soft skin on her abdomen seemed to be winking at him and he wanted to run a finger over it and caress her. The skirt was the worst thing: it was long but the deep slits on the sides made it clear how easy it would be to move it aside and get to the treasure it hid. He had to look away because he was starting to get hard and it was the last thing they needed. Besides, Fern looked nervous and defensive again. He had to change the subject. He pointed to the chair at his desk.

-Sit down and I'll fix your hair.

She looked at him in amazement but sat down. With a sigh of contentment, Jod pulled off the elastic that closed her braid and with his fingers untangled the knots of her hair.

-I'll redo your braid. Can I pull up your hair?

She nodded.

-Do you know how to style hair?

She asked him in a sceptical tone and he laughed softly.

-My teacher had long, dark, slightly wavy hair. She used to keep it in braids. I've seen her do it countless times and towards the end ... I liked to help her.

Fern relaxed, she always did it when he talked about his past.

-You know,

He said parting her hair and beginning to braid it carefully, lifting it up and twisting the braid around her head, like a crown.

-The padawan, the Jedi students, traditionally let a lock of hair grow and made a braid out of it. Coloured beads and ribbons were added to it to indicate a step of their training that they had achieved. I couldn't grow my braid, it was too dangerous, so she cut off a lock of her hair. I kept it around my wrist, like a bracelet.

He finished the hairstyle, hiding the last strand inside the braid. Fern's hair was gathered around her head, leaving the nape of her neck and shoulders free.

-When she died, I burned it. The Jedi burned their dead but they had taken the corpse away. Her hair was the only thing I had.

Then Jod sighed, frowning behind Fern's back.

-Something is missing: I would like to... I’m sorry Fern. I would like to leave bruises on your neck. Do you remember, when I kissed you and bit you? It wasn't painful. Can I?

Fern stiffened. She had a horrible memory of that one occasion when he had kissed her on the neck. She let out a trembling sigh.

-Let’s try.

She conceded in an uncertain tone and without turning to look at him. He knelt behind her, so that his face was the same high as her shoulder and neck. He clung to the back of the chair to resist the temptation to touch her. He rested his open mouth on her skin, almost moaning, but as soon as his tongue made contact with Fern's neck, she jumped to her feet with a scream.

-I can't do it!

She screamed moving away from him and putting as much distance as possible between them. She was pale and breathing heavily. She leaned against the wall, curling up in herself and closing her eyes.

-Fern, stay calm!

He exclaimed, getting up in turn and walking backwards away from her.

-Stay calm!

He repeated, raising his hands. Fern sobbed and then, with a final tremble, seemed to regain control. She opened her tearful eyes and looked at him.

-I'm sorry...

She whispered softly.

-But when... It was like that time, when you held me and I told you I didn't like it, I asked you to stop but you... you... you touched me and I couldn't stop you. I didn't want to, I didn't want to, I didn't want to...

Jod felt nauseous. He too remembered the occasion when he had left the marks of his kisses on her neck, only he remembered it as a special and wonderful occasion, when she had had an orgasm in his arms. She, on the other hand, was reacting like a rape victim. He swallowed, trying to push back down the bile.

-No Fern. It's me who is sorry. This is my fault. I hurt you. These are the consequences of my actions. I'm so sorry...

He closed his eyes.

-Do you feel like coming, tonight? Or if you want, we can postpone.

Fern steeled herself.

-No. Let's go.

She approached him.

-I'm fine, just... don't kiss me, please. I can't...

-Don't worry!

He immediately interrupted her.

-I will respect your need for space. Speaking of which: do you prefer me to keep one arm on your shoulders or waist?

-You want to touch me...

She said in a hesitant tone.

-Couldn't I just walk next to you?

He swallowed.

-There is another alternative but...

His expression became hard and uncompromising.

-I don't like it and I don't even want to consider it. Around the neck, on the collar... That golden chain is not a decoration. It unhooks and becomes a kind of leash. I'm not going to walk you around like I’m your master and you're my slave.

Fern looked down, resigned. Jod sighed heavily.

-One more thing...

He took something out of his pocket and handed it to her.

-Put it in your shoe.

Fern looked at the pebble he had put in her hand, not understanding his point.

-Why?

She asked, confused by that absurd request. Jod ran a hand over his eyes.

-You don't know how happy I am that you don't understand why they have to see you limping...

She looked at the small stone and sat down on the bed to take off her boot. She didn't realize how the skirt opened, revealing the entire length of her leg, up to the hip. Jod's mouth dried up, he should have looked away but Fen's bare legs were something he had long fantasized about and he didn't want to miss the show. She pulled at her skirt angrily, trying to close it and stood up again, grimacing at how the pebble pricked the sole of her foot.

-And now what?

-Now you have to tell me if you prefer me to put an arm on your shoulders or to wrap it around your waist.

-What do you say, shall we try with an arm around the waist?

He approached her slowly, without making any sudden movements.

-Now I'll touch you on the back, okay?

Jod waited for her to nod before standing next to her and placing a hand on her back.

-Is it okay?

She took a deep breath and tried to relax and then nodded.

-Look at me Fern, please. Don't keep your gaze down. We must be together in this. I don't want you to feel like I’m forcing you.

Fern met his gaze. She was afraid to see desire on Jod's face again, but he was frowning and looked genuinely worried and nervous. This, paradoxically, gave her back her calm. She also managed to offer him an uncertain smile.

-All right.

-Ok, Fern. Now I'm going to move my hand and place it on your side, okay?

She nodded and Jod moved his hand lightly until it reached her side, on the curve of her hip. Fern felt the warmth of the palm of his hand where it touched her skin directly.

-We will walk like this. I will hold you close to me.

-Ok.

She replied in a low tone.

They walked out of the cabin together and Fern felt terribly uncomfortable, crossing paths with Jod's pirates. Suddenly Jod was no longer a threatening figure but a protector who would defend her from the gazes of those men and women who appeared more frightening than him.

Jod lowered his eyes to look at her, feeling Fern press against him. She was seeking comfort and Jod was seized by a feeling of tenderness. He tightened his grip and only after doing so did he realize that she could have mistaken it as an intimidating gesture but she fleetingly raised her face and looked at him with gratitude.

By the time they got to the room where he shared the meal with his pirates, Fern was limping slightly and grimacing every time she had to put her right foot on the ground. She couldn't wait to sit down. Jod took his seat and pointed to the floor. She knelt next to his chair, holding the edges of her skirt with both hands, unnerved at how much skin was exposed. Finally she sat down curling her legs, leaving the slit open only on one side and keeping her skirt closed as much as possible with one hand, approaching Jod and leaning on his leg. He stiffened and gave her a fleeting glance. She looked up and pressed her cheek against his knee. With a hesitant hand he caressed her hair. The pirates around them laughed and ate, pretending not to look at them.

Throughout the dinner, Fern cast nervous glances along the table, unable to see any of her friends. From her position she could see very little: only Pax who sat to Jod's right and who never looked in her direction. She refused every bite Jod tried to pass her, burying her face against his leg and he didn't insist. She felt humiliated and exposed and was not hungry in the slightest. She wanted to go home but it occurred to her that perhaps Jod would not allow it. Could he let her return to her mother, now that he had claimed her as a concubine again? Or will she have to move in with him? At the idea of having to live in his house she felt nauseous: it would have been impossible to hide it and she would not be able to show her face again out of shame. The dinner seemed interminable to her but lasted only a few hours, then Jod got up, among the first to do so, and said that he wanted to retire. Many watched his concubine stand up with him and press against his side. Unlike last time, she seemed completely beaten and more receptive to the captain's attentions, anxious to please him and regain his favour. Some laughed, commenting loudly on the captain's haste to get back to his cabin. The comments that reached Fern's ears made her blush and Jod quickly took her away.

When they reached their destination and were alone at least, Fern breathed easier, letting herself fall sitting on the bed and quickly taking off her boot and the pebble. Jod stood in the middle of the room, uncertain and nervous.

-Are you okay Fern?

He asked her and she looked at him in surprise.

-Sure!

She frowned with a puzzled expression.

-It seems to me that it went well. I think everyone believed that you had beaten me and ... that you had hurt me.

He sighed and leaned against the table with a dejected air.

-You can say it, you know? Everyone thinks I raped and beat you.

She gulped.

-You can go and change if you want.

He waved in the direction of the bathroom and Fern didn't need to be told twice. She came back wearing her old clothes and the balled up black dress.

-Where do I put it?

He pointed to one of his lockers.

-Throw it there. I hope you won’t have to put it back on ever again.

He took off his coat and the belt with weapons. He sat up on the bed and took off his boots.

-You haven't eaten anything, Here, take this.

From a pocket he took a piece of bread and handed it to her. She accepted it, surprised.

-Thank you. Where does it come from?

-From the table.

He replied ironically while she ate it in a few bites.

-I'm a thief: I know how to make something disappear in my pockets without others noticing.

When the bread was finished, Fern sat down by his side and leaned against him, putting her head on his shoulder. Jod stiffened.

-Does it bother you? Do you want me to move?

She asked him and he quickly shook his head.

-No.

He answered in a hesitant voice.

-I'm just amazed. And happy. I thought you would hate me after what happened these days and instead...

Instead she had never been so close and willing to touch him and be touched by him. Jod desperately wanted to hug and kiss her but feared that it would destroy the fragile trust she was placing in him. The memory of her, kneeling next to him and her lips, so close to where he wanted them to be, would fuel his fantasies for weeks. Her light breathing as she slept in his bed, her scent that had permeated the sheets, made him painfully aroused, and he spent his mornings in the bathroom, masturbating furiously before she woke up.

Fern sighed.

-You've been really nice to me these days.

Jod made a guilty face: he hadn't been nice at all, and the bruises that covered her body were proof of that. It was disheartening that she considered him kind. Had he really been so horrible the first time she had been his guest on the Libertas?

-And patient. You know, you've shown me that I can trust you. I'm no longer afraid. It's true, sometimes you make me uncomfortable but I know how you feel for me and you're right: I can't ask you to deny your feelings just because I don't reciprocate them. What will happen when we return to At Attin? Will I be able to go home?

Jod nodded without hesitation.

-Certainly! Tomorrow we leave again, soon you will be back in your mother's arms.

He covered his face and groaned.

-Your mother isn’t going to let it slide!

Fern laughed.

-I will tell her the truth. You’ll see: she will not be angry for long.

Jod looked at her and smiled back at her. It was a perfect moment. Then he looked down, worried about upsetting her with what he felt for her. He patted her lightly on the leg, with the back of his hand.

-Come on: in bed with you. Tomorrow will come soon.

Chapter Text

V.

To get off the ship and return the three from At Attin to their families, Jod decided to wear the helmet that made him impersonal and frightening. Wim had an indecipherable expression and remained rigid in his father's arms while Neel melted in the embrace of his family.

With Fern, on the other hand, he wanted to do something different. He ordered Fara to get on the transport and led mother and daughter to his office in the tower. He closed the door of his office behind them and only when the three of them were alone he took off his helmet and let go of Fern, whom he had been holding by the arm all the time. The girl had kept her gaze fixed on the ground, to maintain the appearance of shame and submission, and only when Jod let her go did she raise her head and smile at her mother who was pale and desperate. She ran to hug her and with a cry Fara wrapped her in her arms, turning a face full of hatred towards the pirate who had taken away her daughter.

-What did you do to her, you monster?

She growled at him. The bruise Fern had on her cheek was fading but it was still green and yellow.

-Nothing, mum, nothing!

Fern tried to appease her.

-He didn't do anything to me!

Fara made a pained sound and placed a palm on her cheek.

-What of this, then?

-Jod is teaching me how to fight!

Her daughter proclaimed proudly. The woman seemed confused and looked suspiciously at the pirate, who nodded.

-I'm teaching her to defend herself.

He stated.

-So that no one would touch her again without her permission.

Then he grimaced bitterly.

-Your daughter and her friends made me look like an idiot. I had granted KB permission to get on my frigate to learn from my chief mechanic. I always thought she had what it takes to become a brilliant mechanic. And she used the opportunity I gave her to steal a ship and try to escape while Fern distracted me and their two friends fired a cannon that I didn't even know you had.

Fern turned abruptly to her mother.

-KB! How is she?

Her mother was quick to reassure her.

-She woke up and is fine. She’s reacting positively to treatment but will have to rest for a few weeks.

Then she inhaled deeply.

-You reckless children!

She scolded her harshly.

-What were you thinking? You thought you could plan something like that! Four children! If you had spoken with an adult...!

She glanced at Jod.

-We would have told you that it was madness and to leave it alone.

He snorted.

-If their plan had been successful, the New Republic would have besieged us on At Attin, imprisoning us here and then things would have turned out for the worse for you!

Fern found herself in the unpleasant situation of being the object of disapproval from both her mother and Jod.

-Wait a second.

Fara said, as soon as his words registered.

-New Republic?

Jod, instead of answering, looked at Fern quizzically and she grimaced guiltily.

-Ops? I didn't say anything to her...

-Tell me what?

Fara exploded. Jod grinned.

-I'll let you go home. You will explain it to her later. Listen, Fara, I have to talk to you about one thing...

He looked at Fara and changed his mind.

-You know what? I leave all explanations to Fern. Fern, tell her what my crew believes, I don't want her to be caught off guard if it turns up.

The girl shuddered. She fervently hoped that the pirates would not tell her people about the "punishment" Jod had inflicted on her.

It was not easy to tell her mother what had happened, nor to convince her that Jod had behaved like a perfect gentleman and had never touched or threatened her in any way.

The next day she found herself repeating everything again to KB when she went to visit her. Her friend was on forced bed rest, forbidden to make the slightest effort.

She apologized endlessly for not being able to outrun the pirate fighters and cross the barrier to ask for help but Fern convinced her, with difficulty, that it wasn't her fault.

-Neel came this morning with Wim. Wim seemed very upset to me. He said they had to participate in boarding a ship and had to shoot. It must have been horrible. Do you remember when the Troikas forced us to advance into enemy territory and we didn't know if we would survive?

Fern nodded.

-They separated us almost immediately. They remained in a cell on the Libertas while I...

KB looked at her in alarm and immediately guessed the reason for her hesitation.

-It’s Jod, isn’t it? He started again, didn't he?

She asked her in a venomous tone. Fern shook her head quickly.

-No! It was... strange. He said I was his concubine, that he would personally take care of my punishment and then he kept me locked up in his bedroom the whole time but he didn't do anything to me. Really KB.

She tried to convince her friend who had become even paler than she already was.

-He was really... kind. Not at all like the first time. He treated me well, he never touched me, not like that. But he had to punish me, you know, his crew expected it and I... I asked him to hit me, so that they would think that he... that he...

She forced herself to say it, just as Jod had done.

-That he had raped me. But he didn't want to, he didn't want to touch me and so I told to him to teach me how to fight. He's doing it, I'm learning to defend myself, KB! This is the real reason for the bruises: I train with him.

-Oh, Fern!

KB exclaimed with a heartbroken tone. She didn't believe her friend. She knew how Jod looked at her, what he wanted from her. It seemed like a trap, a way to win her trust and convince her to do what he had failed to make her do by force.

-I told my mother what Jod told us about the Empire and the New Republic. It was fortunate that we had acted first. Mum and your mothers, along with Neel's parents and Wim's father, were working on a buoy to be secretly launched beyond the barrier, to try to contact the Republic. Now they know it won't work: their codes and the frequencies they have are probably too old. They would only incur in the wrath of the pirates, and their punishment would probably be worse than ours.

Fern was silent for a moment and then took KB’s hands in her own. Her friend looked much smaller than she was, lying in bed with the machinery attached to her body that monitored the working of her systems.

-I’m sorry, KB. You nearly died. Nothing is worth your life.

KB gripped her hands.

-I'm sorry I failed. I feel like a terrible friend. I wanted so much to save you from Jod and what he is doing to you and instead I may have made the situation worse.

Fern let go of her hands.

-I've already told you: he didn't do anything to me. Moreover...

She continued, frowning.

-You owe your life to Jod.

KB nodded.

-They told me that he took me to the hospital and that he gave me cardiac massage when my implants stopped.

Fern shook her head.

-I don't mean that. When the Onyx Cinder crashed, he used the Force to stop its fall. He grabbed it and opened the hatch, pulling you out of the ship. You slipped and he caught you mid-air before you hit the ground. You should have seen him, KB. He seemed genuinely worried about you.

She was stunned and did not know how to reply.

-You have nothing to apologize for, KB. We tried and failed. You almost died. I could have lost my best friend.

Fern began to cry and with a little effort KB sat up on the bed, spreading her arms. The two girls embraced each other.

-You are my best friend, too. Jod could have punished you seriously and really done those horrible things to you and it would have been my fault.

Fern wiped her cheek.

-Let's not think about it anymore. What’s done is done. It could have been much worse.

KB moved on the bed and Fern lay down next to her, hugging her. They stayed together for a few hours, then Fern left her because her friend needed rest.

However, she did not return home, heading towards the tower and the supervisor's house. When she arrived at his door, she looked around nervously, before knocking. Jod's house was far from the others and enjoyed some privacy. No one could have seen her.

Jod himself opened the door and Fern slipped beyond it in haste.

-Fern! Has something happened?

He asked her, worried. Fern moved uneasily.

-No, everything is ok. Except that... I thought...

-Tell me.

He urged her, in the face of her hesitation.

-I came to train. You said I have to do it every day, until I get good at it. I don't want to stop just because we don't live together anymore.

Jod looked amazed but recovered quickly.

-Sure, sure!

He led her into the living room and ordered the droids to move the furniture against the walls to create an open space.

-Take off your shoes.

He said to her, taking them off in turn, pulling off his belt and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

-There is more space here, you can move around better. I would like to introduce kicks into your arsenal but if we have boots on, we risk to really hurt each other.

As he had anticipated, with more space available, Fern could move and take advantage of her greater agility and small built to escape him whenever he tried to catch her.

She stayed at his house another couple of hours and in the end it was Jod who stopped their training.

-It's getting late. You better get home before your mum worries. Does she know you're here?

Fern shook her head, drinking the water he had asked a droid to bring her.

-I went to KB before. She doesn't know I wanted to come here.

-How is she?

Jod asked, slightly surprised that she hadn't told anyone of her intention to go to his house. The last time she had wanted her friend to stay outside the door to keep watch.

-She’s improving. Thanks to you.

Fern's eyes were full of gratitude.

-You saved her life that day. You didn't have to do that.

-KB is a good kid and a loyal friend. She didn't deserve to die. I did the right thing, for once.

He remembered with bitterness that distant day when he had considered abandoning her and the boys on Lanupa where they would surely freeze to death and, to do the right thing and save them, he had demanded in return that Fern offer him unlimited access to her body. Now Fern put down her empty glass and walked up to him, until there was hardly any space between them.

-I would like to hug you, Jod. Can I?

Jod was speechless.

-Fern...

He whispered.

-You can do anything to me. You don't have to ask permission to touch me. You know that... if you touch me, in any way, I am happy.

Blushing furiously, Fern wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his chest.

It was a magical moment for Jod.

-Fern, can I hug you back?

He asked full of hope. She nodded against his chest and Jod wrapped his arms around her, slowly and loosely, finally daring to rest his head on her hair.

-Thank you.

He whispered when he felt her break free of the embrace.

-Thanks to you, Jod. A year ago I would never have believed that I would ever feel so comfortable with you. Can I come back tomorrow?

-Please, do.

He replied with a radiant smile. He walked her to the door, knowing that the next day he would see her again, feeling his old greedy heart beating fast in his chest.

Fern began to knock at his door every afternoon, after school, and Jod began to leave his office earlier, just for her. Fern did not come on the days off: her mother strongly disapproved of her going to him every day.

Initially it was just to train, but as days went by, Fern realized that she enjoyed spending time with Jod. He treated her as an adult and not as a child, as her mother did. Sometimes the way he looked at her made her blush but she was getting used to how his eyes followed the contour of her body, as if he wanted to caress it. The fact that he wanted her but wouldn’t touch her because he was waiting for her permission made her feel powerful. It was a considerable burst of confidence, and Fern realized that she felt... strange. One day, after her return from Jod's house, her skin felt like it tingled. He had been extremely correct while they were training, but once they were done, while they were drinking and eating a snack, he had looked at her with burning eyes. She had opened her shirt to try to cool down and he had moistened his lips, unable to take his eyes off the skin she had exposed. For the first time, Fern realized that she did not feel uneasy but appreciated his admiring gaze. For a moment she had considered the idea of opening the collar further and provoking him but she did not have the courage to do so.

She returned home but still felt strange, in the grip of nervous energy and with her heart pumping warm blood in her extremities. As if in a trance, she opened her closet and pulled out the concubine's clothes from under a pile of clothes that were now too small. With trembling hands, she took a scandalous two-piece dress. A seen-trough short opaque veil with a chain connecting its ends that had to be worn as a top and a thin belt to which were attached two veils, also transparent, that could hardly be called a skirt. Knowing that there were only the service droids in the house and that her mother would return many hours later, she took the concubine's dress, a comfortable tracksuit that she would wear to dinner, and locked herself in the bathroom. She stripped naked, as if she had to take a shower and then, without thinking too much about what she was doing, she put on the top piece first, passing the chain behind her neck and draped the short veil over her breasts. It covered them without hiding them from view, leaving her back, shoulders and belly uncovered. Then she put on the skirt, which was slightly loose. The year before it would have slipped down her hips. She turned to look at herself in the mirror. The girl reflected was someone that Fern did not recognize. She was dressed obscenely, through the veil she could see her rosy nipples which, rubbing against the veil, had hardened and now tingled. She looked down. The veil of the skirt hid nothing, the triangle of dark hairs was evident. Fern raised a trembling hand and placed it on her breast, first through the fabric and then slipped it underneath, stroking her nipple. She moaned loudly and her legs trembled. The other hand slipped through the slit of the skirt and caressed herself. Her knees buckled as a wet pulse bloomed inside her. She collapsed to her knees with a hoarse groan, touching herself and finding herself wet and slippery. She threw her head back, caressing herself softly, palming her breasts and squeezing her nipple between thumb and forefinger. Underneath, she stroked herself and her breath hitched. She moved her fingers back and forth, not daring to do more. Soon she found a rhythm that made her see the stars and with a prolonged moan her back arched as the muscles of her whole body contracted. Later, when her heartbeat had calmed down and her breathing returned to normal, she felt cold and vaguely ashamed. She hurriedly removed the dress and put herself under a jet of hot water.

She told herself that what had happened was completely normal. She was almost fourteen years old. Exploring one's body and figuring out what gave it pleasure was part of growing up. Not doing so would have been strange. The fact that she had imagined how Jod would look at her if he saw her dressed like that was irrelevant. Under the water of the shower, she touched herself again and felt the same pleasure again.

Meeting Fern every day, being close to her and touching her, even if only to fight, had made Jod as taut as a violin string. As soon as possible he left with the Libertas for Porto Borgo, apologizing to her and making excuses about the fact that there were things that required his presence outside At Attin. He desperately needed a fuck, his hand was no longer enough for him. As soon as he disembarked, he went straight to Durko's brothel, from which he had been missing for a couple of months. He immediately took two whores upstairs, a woman and a man, and finally unloaded all his sexual frustration with someone who enthusiastically welcomed his desire. He immediately took the woman, he had missed something warm and wet to get lost in. He tried to make it last as long as possible but inevitably reached orgasm. Then he sat down and ordered the man to kneel in front of him and took him in the mouth which he did with a groan of pleasure. He looked at the woman, ordering her to touch herself, but without coming. When he was aroused again, he pushed the man on the woman, telling him to fuck her and then got behind him, slowly penetrating him and rhythmically pushing him inside the whore underneath the both of them. The man below him came first, moaning, and Jod followed him soon after. He got out of his body and grabbed him by the hair, pushing his face between the woman's legs. While he pleasured her with his mouth, Jod touched himself and when she arrived, he pushed the man aside and put two fingers inside her and withdrew them wet, covered with the semen of both and the result of the woman's orgasm. He stuck his fingers in the man's mouth as he moaned, licking them. Then he made him kneel between his legs again. The man started sucking him again and Jod saw that he was getting hard.

-Touch yourself.

He ordered him and he did, tugging himself and welcoming him inside his throat deeper than many whores. Jod turned to the other whore, to tell her to masturbate but she had already done business with the captain of the Libertas and knew what he liked and so she was already sticking three fingers inside, moaning.

After they had arrived again, Jod, finally satisfied, went down to the bar and asked for Lyyn but Durko informed him that she was busy with a couple of customers and that he would send her to him as soon as she finished. Jod didn't pay it any mind, starting to drink, feeling relaxed. He had drunk half the bottle when Lyyn come to him and with a smile he stood up and took her under his arm to go with her to the upstairs room.

Being with Lyyn was always pleasant: she looked like Fern and her mouth was able to give him the fulfilment he was looking for. She had never been particularly affectionate but as soon as they arrived she undressed with mechanical movements and, without even looking at his face, knelt at the foot of the bed, lay on her stomach and offered herself to him, spreading her legs slightly. Jod reached out to her and put a hand on her back.

-It's me, Lyyn.

He told her, confused by her behaviour. He bent down to look at her face, he hadn't noticed her expression before. Her eyes were dull and unfocused.

-Lyyn?

He repeated, alarmed.

-It's me! What happened to you?

She slowly focused her sight on him.

-What do you want?

She asked him in a flat tone.

-You're here to fuck, right? I remind you of the little girl you want to screw, so come on. Fuck me while you think about her.

Jod hissed, offended.

-Lyyn, stop it. Yes, you look like Fern and that's exactly why I've never fucked you. We have a ritual, you and I. We have always followed it. Tell me, what’s the matter?

She finally seemed to come back to life.

-I just had to "serve" two men at the same time. They fucked me for hours, taking turns and at the same time. It was painful.

He looked down her body, dark bruises could be seen blooming around her hips. Nevertheless, she was clean and smelled vaguely of soap: she had washed herself before going to him.

-You have always been on time. Then you disappeared. I thought you weren’t going to come anymore. That maybe you had managed to slip between your little girl's legs and that now you wouldn’t need me anymore.

Jod shook his head.

-No, Fern and I... A mess happened at home and I had to...

-Don't talk bullshit.

She hissed.

-Your men were here last month. They said you were too busy fucking your concubine to get out of your bedroom on the frigate.

Jod pulled away from her.

-Yes, I was with my concubine. Fern made the mess I mentioned earlier. I had to do something so I picked her up and locked her in my cabin, but I didn't fuck her. I spent many frustrating days with the girl I desire in my bed, sleeping next to me and I could not even touch her and do you know why? Because I want her to ask me to do it, I don't want to force her. Like I never forced you! You told me that you don't like sex and I've never forced you! Oral sex and nothing more! I wanted your company, I wanted to hold your naked body and pretend it was hers. If you don't want to do it for me anymore, just tell me and I'll stop asking for you.

Lyyn burst into tears.

-I want you to ask for me!

She confessed in a broken voice.

-You are the best customer I have ever had. It's a relief to spend the night with you because when you're here, Durko doesn't give me to anyone else.

Jod didn't know what to do: he'd never had to comfort a whore in tears, before.

-Lyyn...

He said in an awkward tone, placing a hand on her bare shoulder.

-What can I do for you?

She laughed hysterically.

-Nothing, you can't do anything! You can't stop those men from putting their disgusting hands on me or shoving it down my throat, ass and cunt day in and day out! But you can keep coming and give me a little break, at least once a month!

Jod felt his stomach twist. He never realized how horrible Lyyn's life was. He never thought about her when he wasn't at the brothel. It was as if she ceased to exist, while his presence was anticipated and desired by her.

-Are you... jealous of Fern?

He asked her, because her tone had been spiteful when she had spoken of his "little girl". Lyyn looked at him with her mouth open.

-Jealous? Maybe a little, yes. I'm jealous that she found you and not the paedophiles I had to deal with, I'm jealous of her innocence, jealous of the fact that her body belongs to her. But I'm certainly not jealous of the fact that you want her! Silvo, I thought you had noticed it by now... I told you that I feel pleasure only with women.

No, Jod hadn't realized it. He grimaced and then made a decision. He had the means and the opportunity to help her and, after being included in the list of men who had forced her into doing something that she despised and to give him pleasure when she did not get any from being with him, he felt the need to do something.

-Get dressed, I'm going to talk to Durko.

She blanched with terror.

-No! Please! I don't want to be sold again! Here I have to have sex with customers but at least I don't get beaten! If he sells me, who knows where I could end up!

He caressed her head.

-Trust me.

She begged him again, but Jod went downstairs. He forced himself to smile and appear relaxed and satisfied before going to meet Durko.

-Durko, my friend!

He clapped him on the shoulder. The brothel owner smiled back at him uncertainly. He had been upstairs for only a short time.

-Silvo! It’s all right? Lyyn...?

-All right, Durko, just...  Well, I'd like to talk business to you.

Durko nodded, anxious to please him.

-Sure! Sit down. Wine!

He ordered a passing whore.

-What do you want to talk to me about? It's always a pleasure to do business with you!

At Attin's brothel made him a lot of money and he didn't even have to provide for his whores.

-I'm tired of sharing Lyyn with others. I was thinking of buying her and setting her up somewhere, so that she could always be available for me when I feel like it. How much do you want for her?

Durko's eyes shone with greed. They bargained for a while, drinking from Durko's personal reserve, the quality of which was considerably better than the wine he offered to his customers.

-The girl is expensive, do you understand Silvo? Young and pretty...

Jod had pointed out to him that she was also very used, coming from the Bud, but Durko insisted on the price he had set.

-I paid well for her to the Bud, I must at least recover the investment!

In the end they agreed on an appallingly high price. Jod immediately took Lyyn away from that place, with only the clothes she had on her back, and on the way to his frigate he stopped to buy her a couple of decent clothes and a pair of sturdy shoes. On the ferry, Lyyn wept with joy, still struggling to believe what he had done for her.

-I'll have sex with you, Silvo!  I'll give you everything you want! You'll see: you won't regret buying me!

Jod, however, immediately contradicted her.

-I didn't buy you to have sex with you. I bought you to free you, Lyyn. Now we’re going to take one of my fighter, you and I, and I’ll leave you on one of the nearest planets, the one you prefer. I have enough money on me: I'll give you what you need to start again somewhere else. You will never have to prostitute yourself, ever.

She looked at him speechlessly.

-How will I repay you?

She asked him uncomfortably but he shook his head.

-I don't want you to give me back the money I'll give you.

He hesitated for a moment.

-I... I want you to be free, and happy.

She took his hand and knelt in front of him, crying and thanking him until he, feeling uncomfortable, asked her to stop.

When he left her, Lyyn had enough gold in her pockets to start a new life.

It took Jod a couple of months to realize that something had changed in Fern. They met assiduously, and his interest in Fern had solidified into something deep and overwhelming. If he was obsessed before with the idea of fucking her and frustrated that she was too young, now he wanted her company as well as her body. She had decreased the frequency of their meetings when she had begun to make progress, saying that now that she had learned, she just had to keep up with the training. Those afternoons spent together were something that Jod craved also because the workouts became shorter and shorter and the time they spent chatting and simply enjoying each other's company increased. Every moment he spent with Fern was precious to him, the familiarity with which she treated him, laughing at his jokes, was an inexhaustible source of joy and satisfaction. One evening, after walking her to the door, he thought back to the time they had spent together, and realized that he had been looking longingly at her for most of the afternoon, lingering his gaze on her lips and often lowering it down to her breasts. And that she had not appeared uncomfortable even for a moment, on the contrary, she had blushed, smiling with pleasure at how her eyes had caressed her. From that day on, a game of glances began between them that left Jod painfully aroused. He tried to hide it as much as possible: maybe she didn't mind the way he looked at her anymore, but if she realized that Jod had been hard during all the time they spent together, she might worry or even decide not to go to him anymore. However, he could not hide his excitement for long and inevitably one day Fern's eye fell on his pants and the swollen profile of what they contained. Her eyes widened and he grimaced guiltily.

-Forgive me Fern... But really, believe me: I don't control it.

She had not looked away. Her eyes were wide open and her lips parted as a slight blush spread over her face.

-You...

She began, then swallowed, quickly looked at his face and then her gaze, surprisingly, descended again towards his arousal.

-It's me who... Do I make you feel like this?

She asked him and Jod had a sudden thought: not only she was not afraid but she too seemed excited. He gulped.

-Yes, you know I want you. You make me aroused. When you leave, I have to take care of...

He put his hand to his crotch, covering himself without touching through the fabric.

Fern's breathing became heavy.

-Once...

She started with a trembling voice, but then she seemed to gain confidence.

-… You once asked me if I wanted to watch.

Jod's cock flickered and he moaned loudly, pressing down with the palm of his hand.

-Yes.

He said out of breath.

-Nothing would give me more satisfaction. But you didn't like the idea, you seemed disgusted.

She swallowed, without taking her eyes off his hand, which had begun to move up and down the length of that thing that pressed against the fabric of his pants.

-Before I was terrified, I was afraid that you would force me to participate. Now I'm no longer scared. Now I am... curious. I could tell you yes.

Jod couldn't believe his ears.

-I need to touch myself, Fern. I want you so much, you turn me on. Do you want to watch?

He asked her and she nodded. As if in a dream, Jod made his way upstairs to his bedroom, hearing her light footsteps following him. He entered the room and stopped in front of his bed, turning around. She had left the door open and was standing near the threshold, without approaching. Looking into her eyes, darkened with excitement, he slowly unbuttoned his pants and lowered them slightly. The expression she made when she saw him was not one of fear but of hunger and with a groan he remembered that it was not the first time he had seen him like this. He sat on the bed, fearing that his legs would not hold him up and took himself in hand, stroking himself slowly, then collected some saliva and spat into his own palm. She jumped, surprised.

-I need something wet, otherwise it's not as pleasurable.

She blinked quickly and then blushed violently and he was hit by the thought that she was thinking about how wet she herself could become and how this would facilitate his entry into her body. He gasped and then moaned loudly, beginning to move his hand forcefully. The pleasure was overwhelming and Jod couldn't stop moaning. With the other hand he massaged his testicles and with a scream he came. Fern had stepped back to the point of leaning her back against the wall but not out of fear. She was red in the face and breathing heavily, her pupils were dilated and she was evidently aroused too.

-Fern...

Jod moaned, spent but still full of longing for her. Fern swallowed.

-I... I have to go.

-Fern!

Jod screamed, alarmed.

-Please! Forgive me if I did something ... Don't leave!

She stopped in the doorway.

-You didn't do anything wrong. You did exactly what I asked you to.

Fern was red and trembling, breathless.

-It's not you.

And Jod understood: she needed relief too.

-Will you come back?

He asked her, desperate. She nodded and then ran away.

When she showed up at his door again, a couple of agonizing days later, she pretended nothing had happened and Jod complied. But he could not help getting aroused again and this time he did nothing to hide it. After training, she asked him if they could go up to his bedroom. Trembling, Jod agreed at once.

This time he took off his shirt and also his pants, remaining completely naked in front of her. Fern looked at him, admiring him without shame. He brought a hand to his chest, stroking his nipples which hardened. Her eyes widened in surprise.

-Do you like it?

She asked him in a hoarse voice. He smiled.

-Our bodies are not so different, the difference is that your organs are internal and mine are external, for the rest... what you like, I will probably like too.

He planted his feet on the ground and began to touch himself more confidently than before, now that he knew that she wanted it too and that what she saw did not disgust her.

-I think of you when I touch myself, do you know? It doesn't take much for me to get aoused, simple things like your smile, the sound of your voice, your laboured breathing. I think about what it would be like to kiss you again, if you reciprocated. Kisses can be so beautiful. I would love to kiss you on the neck again but I know you don't want to. Could you consider doing it to me? Would you like it? I promise I'd be good for you, good and still. I would really like to feel your lips on me, your tongue on my skin.

Jod moaned loudly, a sound that came from the bottom of his throat. He was incredibly hard.

-I would like to watch you touch yourself. I could die happy watching you give yourself pleasure, that pleasure I once extorted from you, only now it would be sincere. Now it would be so sweet...

He threw his head back, baring his throat and imagining her on his bed, legs wide apart with her hands between her thighs. He gasped and with a decisive movement of his hips, he came. Then he staggered and fell back sitting on the bed. This time she did not run away. Breathing hard, he watched her lift a trembling arm and bring it to her breast. It was something he had only seen in his dreams. Fern grabbed her breast and moaned softly, her mouth closed.

-I... I need...

She murmured. Jod almost sobbed with desire.

-Please... please Fern... Don't hide. You don't have to be ashamed. It's just me here and you know I want you, to see you like this... it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

It would have been better to see her naked, as he had never seen her before, it would have been even better to touch her, lick her and finally enter her. Jod touched himself, he was already starting to harden again. Fern followed his hand with her eyes.

-You said you could only once...

She whispered.

-Once and then I have to rest, but I can get hard again after a while even if I will hardly be able to ejaculate a second time. I didn't want to lie to you but I also didn't want to scare you. Please Fern... touch yourself again. You're so beautiful like this.

Fern was blushing with embarrassed even if there was nothing to be ashamed of, she wasn't doing anything to be ashamed of but still she felt her face go aflame. It was one thing to watch him touch himself, to know that she was the reason for his every moan and tremble, the reason he was now naked and pleading before her, it was another thing to touch herself in front of him. But she felt aroused, wet and desperate. If that was how he had felt those mornings on the Libertas when he woke up, it didn't surprise her that he ran to the bathroom to find relief. It was like a physical pain, a pleasure so sharp it hurt. Touching her breasts had only made things worse. With a trembling hand she reached the edge of her trousers. Jod trembled convulsively and his arm moved faster, while his other hand touched and pressed his testicles. Fern slipped her hand into her pants, she had no intention of undressing. With a tremor and a moan, she found herself wet and slippery. She leaned against the wall and narrowed her eyes, without losing sight of him. She had a vague fear that he might get up and approach her. If he did, Fern would have fled. She caressed herself slowly. It didn't take much, a few slow strokes and she too reached an orgasm. Her legs almost gave away but she managed to stay on her feet and when her heart stopped beating frantically in her chest, she realized that Jod's moans had become words. He was begging her, desperate.

-Please, please, please...

He was shaking, moving his hand furiously without being able to reach completion.

-I want to smell you, I want to taste you, please, please...

-What you mean?

She asked him in a trembling tone.

-Your hand, the one you touched yourself with... please let me smell it, I need to smell you... Oh, your taste, I'm dying to taste you.

Incredulous, Fern pulled her hand out of her pants. It was wet. She trembled and then had an idea.

-Come, Jod...

She whispered, holding out her hand. He stood still for a moment and then stood up on unsteady legs, holding himself in his fist, hard and unsatisfied.

-Not like that!

She stopped him immediately.

-On your knees. Come to me on your knees...

His expression changed and a slight smile curved his lips. He slowly got on his knees and then on all fours and he approached her, crawling like an animal. It was an exciting sight. Jod's powerful body, bent and submissive before her, approaching her outstretched hand like a suppliant. He reached her and, looking her straight in the eyes, he brought his mouth close to her fingers, licking them slowly and then taking them in his mouth sucking with obvious pleasure. Then he took himself in his hand again, still sucking and finally came, or at least Fern supposed he had come because unlike the previous time there was no emission of liquid but he collapsed, releasing her fingers with a wet sound and remained at her feet, breathing heavily. She stroked his hair and he lifted his face, letting her fingers, wet with saliva, brush his forehead.

-Thank you, Fern. It was... beautiful.

-Thank you, Jod. You amazed me. You did everything I asked of you.

Jod smiled because it was the exact opposite. Fern had given him everything he wanted: she had watched him touch himself, she had touched herself in front of him and she had let him watch her as she reached an orgasm, the second one he had witnessed. She had let him lick her fingers after they had been in her. Now Jod knew what she tasted like. She was delicious, as he had always imagined. All he had to do was walk on all fours, but it was nothing compared to having her of her own free will and satisfied, standing in his bedroom while he was completely naked.

-The floor is uncomfortable. Can I go back to bed?

She trembled and he realized that the fact of been the one holding the power excited her. Fern nodded, and Jod went back to bed, still walking on his knees and hands. He sat down and then bent his head to the side, looking at her.

-Care to join me? Or do you prefer to stay there?

He asked her softly and Fern stiffened.

-I don't know...

She sounded hesitant and uncertain.

-I could get dressed if that helps you feel more at ease.

She nodded with obvious relief. Jod put his pants and shirt back on and then sat down again, holding out his hand at her, inviting her to come closer. She did so rigidly, stopping a few steps away from him. Jod rested his palms on the sheets of the bed, relaxed and happy.

-What now?

She asked, defensively.

-Now there is perhaps the part I prefer. If you feel like it, I would like to hug you. Just hug you.

She relaxed, who knows what she had believed. She sat down by his side, turned towards him.

-Can I hug you, Fern?

He asked her, full of hope and she smiled at him, giving him permission. They hugged each other and it was beautiful. Jod decided to try to see how much relaxed she was in his presence and, holding her tightly, he dropped on his side, on the bed, with her in his arms.

She let out a surprised cry but then, seeing that he was smiling, she returned his smile and then laughed loudly.

-You're weird, you know?

He too burst out laughing. It was not like she had the experience to judge. She couldn't know if he was weird or not. But he let her say what she wanted. Fern was in his arms, in his bed and the both of them had just had an orgasm, he had even had two. Had they both been naked, it would have been really perfect, but Jod was confident that sooner or later they would get there.

To his disappointment, all the meeting that came after followed the same pattern. Fern never allowed him to touch her and she never undressed but she had become familiar with his body and Jod saw how she looked at him, he felt confident that soon he could ask her to touch him and that she would say yes.

One day, instead of starting to touch himself, he made her the proposal he had been pondering for some time.

-Would you like to touch me, Fern?

From her position near the door, she bit her lip, obviously hesitant.

-I promise that I will keep my hands to myself. They will stay crossed behind my back for as long as you are close to me. I will not touch you. Think about it: I will be completely at your disposal, in your power.

Her eyes filled with desire. He had been right: having control turned her on. He couldn't wait to have her on top of him, riding him. At the thought he felt breathless and his member moved as if looking for her.

-I don't know...

Fern still hesitated but he could read on her face that she wanted to do it.

-Try it. If you don't like it, we’ll do as usual.

He crossed his wrists behind his back, spreading his legs and sitting even more on the edge of the bed. She slowly approached him and when she was close, Jod let himself fall on the sheets, arching his back.

-Please Fern...

He begged her in a hoarse voice.

-Touch me.

She sat down next to him and, without looking at his face, placed a hand on his chest. She slowly caressed the skin of his sternum, inserting her fingers into the hair on his chest, slowly approaching his nipples but without touching them.

It was torture. Jod was already painfully aroused and it seemed that she wanted to take the long way round, giving herself plenty of time to explore him before getting to where he wanted her. He arched his back more, pushing himself against her hand as her fingers finally met his nipple and began to caress it, squeezing it between thumb and forefinger.

-Please, Fern, please.

He looked at her. She seemed fascinated by every reaction of his body, by the goosebumps that covered him, by how his nipples had hardened and become small. Her hand went down firmly, caressing his stomach and then down again, over his belly button. Her fingers carefully avoided his penis, arching near her hand. She brushed against the hair on his groin and placed her palm on the inside of his thigh, brushing her fingertips against his testicles. Jod almost sobbed.

-Touch me, touch me, please!

She gave him a cruel smile.

-But I'm touching you.

She squeezed the muscle of his leg.

-Touch me where I want to be touched!

He yelled in a hoarse voice.

-How do you say?

Jod gasped.

-Please, Fern. Touch my cock.

She blushed violently and then suddenly stopped playing, becoming serious and looking down.

-I... I don't know how... What should I do?

Jod swallowed.

-Easy. Do what you feel comfortable doing. You could start by holding it, as you saw me do. Just take it in your hand, you don't need to move it.

She grasped him gently, and Jod moaned loudly.

-Now?

He tried to calm his breathing.

-Grab me harder, you won't hurt me if you squeeze a little. Like that... You’re doing great...

He couldn't resist and pushed up with his pelvis, towards her hand. She let him go with a jolt.

-Forgive me! No, no, please touch me again!

Fortunately, she took him back in her hand, squeezing as he had asked her to and he sighed with relief.

-Now move your hand, slowly, up and down. Small movements.

Jod grimaced and hissed in pain when she pushed down too far, too fast. The foreskin slipped, revealing the bulbous, purplish tip. Fern gave an exclamation of surprise and almost let him go again.

-What...?

-It's normal, it's normal. Only... Not now. Push the skin upwards, like this, until it is covered. That’s…

He looked at her face to judge how ready she was to hear what he was about to say. She was surprised but also intrigued.

-… that's what happens when I'm inside. The skin slides down, I feel everything more strongly, it's more pleasant for my partner too.

Fern's lower lip trembled and then she moved her hand again, slowly and without sudden movements.

-You're wet, here at the tip.

With her thumb she touched him, it was sticky and up close it had a pungent smell, not unpleasant but not particularly attractive either. The smell of Jod was filling her nostrils, not only the smell that came from his private parts but also that of his sweat, the smell of his skin. He smelled good. She blushed remembering how he had always said that she tasted good, every time he kissed her or licked her neck.

-Wet... wet your hand.

Fern let go of him and licked her hand. Jod's eyes dilated as he watched her tongue run the length of her palm. She took him back in her hand.

-I need more. You need to be wetter.

Fern was already feeling more than wet, but she knew Jod meant something else, so this time she didn't skimp on saliva. It was vaguely disgusting but he seemed to like it because once her hand was suitably slippery, he began to moan uncontrollably as she touched him, sliding up and down the skin of that hard and stiff muscle. She wondered how such a thing could enter her, and at once shuddered at the thought she had had. She had no intention of having sex with Jod. Ever. She was... she didn't even know what the hell she was doing with Jod. She was giving him pleasure and in return he gave her that sense of power and control that she had always lacked in their relationship. She could leave him unsatisfied or she could give him an orgasm: he was in her hands, literally.

-Faster, faster...!

He begged her. The saliva had by now dried up but Fern did not stop, increasing the pace.

-I'm coming, don't stop!

Jod, seemingly unable to control himself, arched, staining against her hand, causing her to lose her rhythm and then he came. The white jet that erupted from the tip surprised her. She felt his penis throbbing and moving in her palm and with each pulse it expelled the seminal fluid that spread over his stomach. Some fell on her hand. She touched it with her fingertips, curious. It was slimy and warm. She wrinkled her nose and wiped her hand on his sheets.

Jod breathed open-mouthed and gave her a languid smile, sliding his arms from under his back. Fern stiffened when his right hand brushed against her leg, but he didn't try to touch her.

-It was magnificent... Thank you Fern.

She had been terribly uncoordinated and had constantly changed pace, if he hadn't already been so aroused or had she been anyone else, he probably would have lost momentum but the mere fact that it had been Fern's hand on him had given him immense pleasure.

-If you want, now I'll get dressed and move a few steps away while you take care of yourself.

She looked at him without understanding what he meant.

-I'll leave you the bed and get up and away.

He clarified.

-Do you want to stand by the door?

Fern asked him, still confused, while a tremor made her groin muscles contract, causing her a spike of pleasure.

-Oh, Fern! Nothing would make me happier than to stay here with you and help you as you helped me! But I'll understand if you want me to go away.

She touched her breasts, moaning and rubbing her legs.

-You can stay on the bed, just... move away a little.

Jod swallowed and moved away from her, leaning against the headboard, stroking his testicles. He looked at her intently as Fern pushed her hand inside her pants, holding back a smile of exultation when she grimaced discontentedly. It was uncomfortable doing it while seated and probably the pants were too tight to allow her to touch herself to her satisfaction. However, she did not unbutton her pants but knelt on the mattress, pushing her hand down firmly. She moaned with her mouth open, her head thrown back and her eyes closed, moving her pelvis rhythmically, pushing towards her hand while with the other she squeezed her breasts violently and with a scream she arrived, trembling. As always, she offered him her hand and he approached, gently took her wrist and put her fingers in his mouth. They tasted of her and also smelled slightly of him. He wrapped his tongue around her fingertips, and she moaned again. Fern reached out her other hand and run her fingers through his hair, pulling him to her, and Jod let himself be pulled closer. It almost didn't seem real to him when he realized that she wanted to kiss him. He let her lead the kiss that was initially a tender meeting of lips, then Fern made her tongue flicker out, licking him. Jod opened his mouth, meeting her tongue. Fern moaned and then kissed him passionately, as he had taught her to do, long ago. Jod made the mistake of putting a hand on the back of her neck, to keep her close to him and Fern jumped back, almost falling out of bed.

-No!

She screamed and Jod turned to stone, fearing having made a huge mistake. Instead, she surprised him, giving him a violent push and making him fall back on the bed and then climbed on top of him, grabbing him by the wrists and pushing them against the mattress. Jod could have freed himself at any time but he was so relieved that she had not run away, that he decided to remain submissive and apparently at her mercy. She moved her pelvis against his stomach, rubbing against him and he widened his eyes.

-Yes, please...!

He encouraged her.

-Use me!

She began to move rhythmically, moaning, but soon her expression became frustrated and she stopped.

-I can't...! I just come... I can't do it again...!

-Yes, you can.

Jod strongly contradicted her.

-Women can have one orgasm after another without any problems. I can help you if you want. Let me help you.

She trembled and moaned in frustration, a high-pitched sound.

-I... I...

-My hand, inside your pants. Just my hand. You'll see: it will be different, better than yours... Trust me, please.

She nodded and slid down from him, Jod guided her to lie on her back and turned to her, laying down too so as not to loom over her and make her think he wanted to take advantage of her. He put his hand on her stomach and she moaned, took his wrist and pushed his hand down. He slipped his fingers and then his whole hand inside her trousers. She was incredibly wet. He slid across her soft, warm flesh and Fern screamed, arching her back, squeezing his wrist but not pushing him away. He rubbed her, slowly at first then more and more firmly, pushing and approaching at each passage that place in which he wanted so much to sink. He pushed with his palm and caressed the edge of her opening with his fingertip, without inserting anything inside and with a scream Fern peaked, convulsively tightening her legs around his hand. Jod kissed her with his tongue and Fern returned the kiss. He withdrew his hand and sucked it with pleasure. Fern was trembling sporadically.

-Well? Is it better alone or with me?

He asked her with a hint of irony. She snorted, red in the face.

-With you.

She admitted.

-You know...

He said, continuing to suck his fingers.

-… It's even better if I use the tongue.

-What?

She asked him, dismayed. He gave a final lick to his middle finger and then smiled at her obliquely.

-My tongue. On you, inside you. Warm, soft and slippery. No discomfort, no pain, just pleasure. I could go on for hours, making you came again and again. You wouldn't have to worry about me because while my tongue would be working on you my hands would be on my cock giving me pleasure. Can you imagine it? You, lying on this bed, your legs spread as I kneel between your thighs, serving you, drinking from you like a thirsty man.

Jod's voice had become hoarse and his expression full of desire. Fern sat up, slightly uncomfortable.

-I don't know...

The scenario he was presenting to her, involved her undressing and him sitting, naked and aroused, between her legs. She shuddered, she didn't even know if it was fear or excitement, maybe a little of both. He smiled at her a little fixedly.

-Think about it. In the meantime, if you want, I can pleasure you with my fingers. It was nice, wasn't it? They are bigger than yours, rougher... I didn't go in, not this time, I wasn't sure you wanted it. How many fingers did you put inside?

Fern squeaked.

-Inside?

Jod's expression grew ravenous, and Fern really began to feel uneasy.

-You haven’t put your fingers inside? Ever? It's the most pleasurable part! All this time, you have been giving yourself an orgasm just by stimulating yourself on the outside? Inside is even better...

She got out of bed. She felt wet and suddenly it wasn't a good feeling.

-I have to go home now.

She said nervously.

-I upset you. Forgive me.

He said.

-I didn't want to do it... Did I go too fast?

-Too fast?

She asked in a slightly hysterical tone.

-Where do you think we're going? I'm fourteen years old! I'm not ready for... for...

She waved a hand in his direction, pointing to his naked body.

-This is a kind of experiment! We're just playing. I'm not going to have sex with you. Forget it!

Jod trembled and then assumed a submissive posture, hollowing his shoulders and trying to appear as less threatening as possible.

-Certainly! I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you! I'm so thankful for all you're willing to give me. Every touch of yours, every moment of your time is a precious gift, I would never expect anything else!

She seemed to relax at his words, less ready to flee from his bedroom.

-I want to please you, I want to make you happy, I just want you to stay with me. For as long as you want. You are the one who sets the rules, here. You command and I obey.

She straightened her back, reassured.

-Exactly. I dictate the rules. You do what I say and nothing more. If I allow you to touch me to make me have an orgasm you will thank me for it and you will never demand more.

He nodded quickly and she nodded firmly, before turning her back on him and leaving him naked and alone on the bed. As she went down the stairs, Jod smiled slowly and put his fingers in his mouth again. She hadn't said yes but she hadn't said no either, and now that she knew there was that possibility, he was sure she would think about it until curiosity consumed her.

From that day on, she always allowed him to touch her to make her came. Now, she no longer stood by the door, against the wall, but laid in his bed with his hand tucked into her trousers. Every time, before starting, he asked her if he could put a finger inside her but she shook her head, red in the face with embarrassment. But her noes were losing conviction. While she was lost in pleasure he whispered to her that with something inside it would be more intense, that her fingers were fine too, that he would be honoured to show her how but she always ignored his advice. For his hand to join hers, she would have to take off her trousers and she still was fearful of doing so. She didn’t understand why the idea of being naked in front of him tied her stomach in knots, consciously she didn't even realize that showing herself to him without clothes had been what had triggered his desire for her, but something in her unconscious got agitated, frightened, every time she tried to imagine herself naked with him.

If things went well with Jod and she was sexually fulfilled by their encounters, things at home got worse by the week. Her mother suspected something, and Fern almost refused to talk to her every time Jod was mentioned. They would get angry and they ended up fighting. Even with KB, Jod was a topic that inevitably sparked arguments. Her friend was suspicious of the man's intentions towards Fern and had asked her several times to stop seeing him. In the end Fern had partially revealed to her what was really going on in his house.

-What do you mean you kissed?

-Shh, lower the volume, KB.

Her friend had hissed at her, looking nervously at the closed door of her bedroom.

-Your mothers may hear you.

-Did Jod kiss you?

KB had hissed furiously. Fern had shaken her head with a guilty grimace.

-I started it.

KB had covered her face with an exasperated moan.

-Oh Fern!

-What is it? Don't I have the right to kiss whoever I want?

She had replied acidly.

-You are still a young girl while Jod is a grown man who had abused you for weeks. Why did you allow him to touch you? How did he convince you?

Fern had become angry.

-He didn't convince me to do anything. Jod is... He's not bad, once you get to know him. He has always respected my desire for space, he does nothing that I do not want, he always asks my permission first.

KB had made a gurgling sound.

-He doesn’t do anything you don't want him to? Exactly what does he do?

-Maybe it's none of your business!

Fern had exclaimed, blushing to the roots of her hair. Her friend, on the other hand, had turned pale.

-Fern... What is he doing to you?

She had repeated in a trembling tone. Fern had looked away, embarrassed.

-Fern! Jod is an adult with experience with women, you are a little girl, don't you understand that whatever you are doing, he is manipulating you?

Fern got incandescent with anger.

-I know what I'm doing, KB! You're my best friend but if all you have to say is that I'm acting like a stupid child, maybe you'd better shut up and keep your opinions to yourself!

They hadn't spoken to each other for days and then KB had gone to apologize to her. Fern had apologized in turn for how she had lashed out at her and they had made up, but Fern had no longer opened up to KB about what Jod was making her feel and what she was experiencing with him. She felt isolated, she wanted to talk to someone, tell how he made her feel, the desire he ignited inside her and the way he touched her, but the two people who were the closest to her, her mother and KB, strongly disapproved of her relationship. The only one she could talk to was Jod himself.

-What exactly is between us, Jod?

She had asked him, lying on the bed next to him, after they had both had an orgasm. He had kissed her for a long time, whispering sweet things in her ear.

-What do you mean, Fern?

He had replied in a curious tone.

-What we do. How would you define it?

He had stiffened at her side and then sat up and she had done it too. It was always strange when she thought about it: he was naked, every time, and she was always dressed.

-I know what I would call it, but I don't know if you would like it. We could call it an experiment, a game, as you said. We could say that you are using me to experience your body and the pleasure it can give you.

He smiled bitterly.

-Personally, I would like to think that we are in a relationship, that we are together, you and I. I like to imagine that you are my girlfriend and I am your man.

Fern had looked out the window.

-What does be in a relationship entail? We cannot be seen together. We can't even hold hands in public. We meet almost in secret and then always end up in your bedroom.

-Fern...

He interrupted her.

-The secrecy is to preserve your reputation. I don't have a reputation to safeguard. I wish I could claim you in front of everyone, tell everyone that we are together. Would you allow me?

She shook her head firmly.

-You are ashamed of me.

Jod commented hollowly. She bowed her head.

-I'm sorry Jod. I would like not to but... What would everybody say if they knew? That I'm easy and with loose morals or worst.

-Just because...?

Jod bit his tongue. She looked at him curiously.

-Just because...?

She invited him to finish the sentence. He sighed, running a hand over his face in a gesture of frustration.

-Fern... I never told you because I was afraid of scaring you away from me, I don't know exactly how you feel about me, I've always been clear about what I feel about you but you... you've always been reluctant to admit that you want me. I think I feel something more than just desire for you. I think...

He looked away, lowering his eyes.

-I think I love you.

She gasped, her eyes widening.

-Oh...

She said in a feeble voice.

-You don't need to say anything.

He told her in a disappointed tone.

-It's fine. Never mind.

-I don't know, Jod.

She replied in a thin voice.

-I don't know what love feels like. But...

She put her hand on his arm.

-I'm glad you told me.

She leaned over to him and they kissed. He looked at her as if she were the sun and all the other stars and Fern realized that Jod had looked at her like this almost from the beginning, since he had given her back her freedom and stopped forcing her. Maybe it had been a long time since he had fallen in love with her and she had never noticed. A feeling of tenderness for him engulfed her and she told herself that perhaps... Maybe one day she could love him too.

Then, one evening, while Fern was returning from Jod's house where she had lingered longer than usual, disaster struck and it brought everything to the surface. She was going home when she crossed paths with Zelda and her younger brother, a boy just a year older than her, who were being harassed by two pirates. Zelda was defending herself well, shouting insults at the pirate who was leering and making crude comments at her but her brother was terrified: the other pirate had put his arm around his neck and with a smile full of sharp teeth he was trying to touch him. The poor boy was on the verge of tears, trying to push the pirate away and prevent him from touching him between his legs.

Fern had stopped abruptly her bike and run at them shouting.

-Hey, you two!

The two pirates and their victims had turned to look at her with identical expressions of surprise.

-Leave them alone!

Fern had thundered, approaching with clenched fists, pushing away the pirate who was bothering Zelda and then turning to face the one who had his hands all over her brother.

-Get out of the way you whore, it's none of your business.

He had growled. From where she stood, a few steps away, Fern could clearly smell the alcohol on his breath. The pirate made the mistake of letting the boy go and reaching out to push her away and Fern lunged forward, grabbing him by the wrist and twisting it, causing the pirate to fall to his knees with a scream. She kicked him, releasing his arm and causing him to fall back onto the lawn of a house. Then she turned to look at his partner who widened his eyes and raised his hands in surrender.

-Get out of here, you ugly...

The pirate opened his mouth wide and could barely let out a scream before Fern was pushed forward, hit from behind.

-No Makus! Don't!

Fern managed to put her hands in front of her, cushioning the fall, while the pirate leapt past her and blocked his friend, who was about to hit her again.

-Makus! Have you lost your mind? Don’t you recognise her?

Fern got up, a cold lump in her stomach and on shaky legs.

-She is the captain's concubine! Touch her and Silvo will kill you!

-The concubine?

The other pirate asked, looking at her with unfocused eyes that soon filled with recognition.

-Now I remember! The one that the captain made sit at his feet like a pet!

His ugly face was filled with malice.

-The one that Silvo fucked with so much force that she couldn't even walk afterwords! Now I remember her.

-And you hit her, you idiot! You know the captain is jealous and doesn't want anyone to touch her.

His friend hissed. Then he turned to Fern.

-It was a mistake, my friend didn't mean to hurt you, we’ll be going now!

Hastily, he dragged his friend away with some effort.

With her heart pounding fast in her chest, feeling faint, Fern turned to Zelda. She and her brother were frozen, then Zelda pursed her lips and grabbed her brother by the back of his jacket and drag him away, without saying a word. With trembling legs, Fern got back on the speederbike and went home. As soon as she entered, her mother saw her and turned pale, getting up with an alarmed expression from the sofa where she had been sitting, reading.

-Fern! What happened to you?

She run to her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

-You are white as a sheet and you look scared! Are you all right? Did he do something to you?

Fern shook her head slowly in denial.

-I met Zelda on my way home...

She said through bloodless lips.

-She and her brother. They know and tomorrow they will tell everybody at school. Soon everyone will know.

Fara shook her slightly.

-Know what? Fern, I don't understand!

She shook off her mother's hands as her eyes filled with tears.

-Zelda and her brother! A pirate called me the captain's concubine in front of them.

The tone of her voice became high and hysterical.

-They know, they know, everyone will know!

Her mother covered her mouth with her hand and watched her daughter flee upstairs.

The next day Fern refused to go to school and her mother did not insist. In the afternoon, KB knocked at her door.

-Hi KB.

Fern greeted her with a dejected air. She had spent the night crying and was exhausted.

-I guess Zelda has tattled.

Her friend followed her to her room and Fern curled up on the bed, her head on the pillow.

-So to speak.

KB answered.

-She said that you defended her and her brother and that the pirates who had attacked them called you the supervisor's concubine. I'm sorry Fern.

Fern trembled, trying to make herself smaller.

-If it’s any consolation, she painted you as a heroine. A boy in her class said that... well he used a bad word to describe you and Zelda slapped him. After what happened in the past, I didn't think she would ever defend you. Wim also got into a fight with a couple of older boys. I spoke to many students during the break and also after school. Most don't blame you for anything. For them you are a victim and...

-I don't want to go back to school ever again!

Fern moaned.

-I’ll no longer have the nerve to show myself in public! Everyone thinks I’m having sex with Jod! But it's not true!

She raised her tear- streaked face and finally meet her friend’s eyes.

-I’m not having sex with him, KB, you have to believe me!

Her friend frowned and shook her head.

-Of course, Fern! I don't think it at all.

Fern, however, was inconsolable.

-We do... things... together. But not that. I think he would like to but I don't want. I... I touch him and allow him to touch me. We kiss but I never took my clothes off! I swear to you. He is the one who undresses! He has never seen me naked!

KB had turned pale, then she had turned purple, puffing out her cheeks as if she were about to explode and finally she deflated.

-Oh, Fern!

She exclaimed in a reproachful tone.

-I know you disapprove!

Her friend had sobbed.

-Mom hates him too! But I... I don't hate him and he said he loves me.

KB had covered her face with her hands.

-That vile bastard!

She had exclaimed.

-That's not love!

Fern got offended.

-What do you know? Maybe he really loves me!

-Fern...

KB had growled.

-… If he loved you, he would have waited for you to grow up! He wouldn't have ... Don't you understand that he is using you? It's still the same man as before, the same one who forced you to put on those horrible clothes, who forced you to kiss him and who put his hands all over you! You were terrified, it disgusted you!

-Well, now I like it!

Fern had screamed.

-Now I lead the game! He does what I tell him to do!

-Sure!

KB had exploded.

-Because what you tell him to do is exactly what he wants to do to you! Try to say no to him! Try to contradict him and then let's see how he reacts! He is making you believe that he is at your command, but he is the same man who almost raped you!

Fern jerked back, as if her friend had hit her, and KB closed her eyes, grimacing.

-I'm sorry Fern. I shouldn't have said that.

She opened her eyes again and Fern finally realized how scared and worried KB was.

-I'm sorry, KB. I shouldn't have yelled at you.

The two friends embraced briefly.

-I know we don’t see Jod in the same light.

KB said.

-He hurt you and I will never forgive him for it. You were crying and you were afraid all the time and I couldn't stop him, I couldn't help you. I don’t trust him and this so-called change of his.

KB took a deep breath, looking into her friend's eyes.

-But I'm with you Fern. If you are right, I will be happy for you. If he breaks your heart, I'll be here to help you pick up the pieces. I will always be by your side!

Fern hugged her with enthusiasm.

-Thanks, KB! You're the best!

KB returned the hug.

-Now we have to think about what to do: now that all this repulsive story has come out... What will we do?

Fern had looked down.

-I told you: I don't want to go back to school.

Her friend had shaken her head.

-You can't hide forever! Besides, most students don't blame you for anything.

Fern moved uneasily.

-But they think I have been with him! You didn't hear what that pirate said to Zelda...

Fern grimaced sickly.

-He said that Jod had ... fucked me... with so much force that I couldn't even walk.

The girl sighed.

-The truth is that Jod had asked me to put a pebble in my shoe. I was limping because of that. He wanted to give the impression that he had raped me. I would say that he succeeded, even too well.

Fern concluded in a bitter tone.

-Do you understand, KB? They will look at me and think of him and me... of us together, and I don't know if I can cope...

-You must.

KB exclaimed in a grave tone.

-You have to show that you have done nothing wrong, nothing to be ashamed of. If anyone should be ashamed here, it's him. Remember: he is the adult and you are a young girl. You didn't encourage him, you didn't provoke him.

Fern pursed her lips, guilty.

-I could have told him no, I could have stopped going to his house and following him into the bedroom. He didn't force me to do it. I am the one who stayed when he undressed, when he touched himself and then I began to participate. I did encourage him.

KB cringed.

-Please don't say these things anymore! Thinking of him without clothes... it makes me want to bleach my brain!

 Fern burst into laughter. A moment later KB joined her.

-Back to serious matters: tomorrow you go back to school, Fern. If I had to, I will come and drag you there. You don't need to tell everyone that now you are seeing each other. For heaven's sake, don't say anything. Let others come to the conclusion they want. Mom Garree always says that it's almost impossible to convince someone they're wrong once their opinion has formed, so we won't even try. There will be those who will consider you Jod’s victim and look at you with pity. There will be those who will consider you an accomplice and insult you. You won't be able to change their minds. You can only continue as before, with your head held high because you have done nothing to be ashamed of. Understood?

Fern nodded.

-I want to hear you say it out aloud.

KB insisted in a resolute tone.

-I didn't do anything to be ashamed of.

Fern repeated.

-Great, now say it again, but more convinced.

Fern smiled at her.

-I didn't do anything to be ashamed of.

KB nodded, because this time Fern's tone of voice had been sure.

-See you tomorrow morning, then. I'll pick you up with the boys and the four of us will go to school together.

Fern nodded, grateful.

-Thanks KB. Tell the boys that I thank them, too. Especially Wim.

Chapter Text

VI.

The next day, as promised, KB, Wim and Neel accompanied Fern to school. Following her friend's advice, Fern had entered with her head held high but had not had the courage to meet anyone's eyes. She had spent the whole morning feeling detached from reality. Her friends accompanied her everywhere and KB wouldn't leave her for a moment and it was a good thing because Fern didn't even look where she was going. She could not tell whether they were looking at her with pity or disgust, for she saw nothing and heard nothing. The teachers pretended in turn that she was not there, deliberately ignoring her empty and absent expression but among themselves they commented on what had happened, putting together the many small signs they had noticed in the first months of the occupation. The pirate who followed the girl everywhere and who they had thought was there to ensure her mother's cooperation, the fact that the pirate captain had occupied her house, the rumours that had circulated about him sleeping with her mother and that the undersecretary had never denied and finally the attitude of the girl herself who, before the adventure she had lived, had been blustering and disrespectful and afterword had become docile and obedient.

Fara's day had been no better than her daughter's. If the day before the news had not spread, on the day of Fern's return to school, her schoolmates had had the opportunity to talk to their parents and it seemed that everyone in the office knew that Jod had abused her daughter. Everyone looked at her and whispered at her back. During the lunch break, one of her colleagues had gotten up from the table when she had sat down, as usual, to share the meal with the other three undersecretaries. Another had tried to hold him back but Hudo, with a disgusted expression, had turned to Fara.

-I wouldn't be able to eat looking at her face. A mother who is able to prostitute her daughter like this...!

Fara had blanched and then, in a blind rage, had thrown the tray with her lunch at him, shouting insults. The news of the fight had quickly made the rounds of all the offices and the two had been summoned by the supervisor.

-Came inside and sit down!

Jod had ordered them, pointing to the chairs in front of his desk. His expression had been uncompromising and angry.

-I know what is being said about me and Fern and I want to make one thing clear.

He had pointed a finger at the undersecretary who had accused Fara.

-This is not a democracy. Here, I am in charge. At Attin is mine. Everything here belongs to me.

He paused and inhaled deeply, pursing his lips into a furious grimace.

-If I say I want your house, you leave it to me with only the cloths on your back. If I say I want your speederbike, you give it to me.

He turned to Fara, pointing his finger at her as well.

-If I say I want your daughter, I take her. And none of you say anything, have I been clear? Because everything you have is mine, you are mine. Each and every one of you. The only reason you are still breathing and I didn't kill you all on the first day, is that it is convenient for me to have someone working to make me rich. I wanted Fern and I took her. And I will continue to have her as long as I feel like it. She can cry and despair or come to me with a smile on her face, but she will come to me. I have been kind and allowed her to keep living in her mother's house. I am kind, and since she is so young, I allow her to go to school and have friends. She is lucky that I like my women smiling and so making her happy, makes me happy. If Fern cries, I tear out the eyes of the one who makes her cry. Because I'm the only one who can make her cry. I'm relieved that I only had to punish her once. I am very glad that she learned her lesson and that she stopped complaining every time. It took a while but she is starting to get used to it.

He narrowed his eyes and turned to the man in a venomous tone.

-Do you think Fara didn't try to defend her daughter? I stayed in her house and shared the bedroom with her. Do you think she didn't try to dissuade me? I assure you that Fern is not a prostitute because I’m not paying her. She is not a slut because I do not share her with anyone. Fara does not receive any benefit or facilitation, there is no agreement between us because Fern was already mine when we landed on your planet. I didn't even know that her mother was the undersecretary and frankly I never cared about it.

He looked at them both with loathing.

-Get out of here now. I don't want to hear any more complaints about your behaviour. Fara, expect an extra guest tonight for dinner. It's been a long time since I graced your house with my presence.

The two undersecretaries left and as soon as they got out Hudo stopped Fara.

-I'm sorry Fara. What I said was horrible, you didn't deserve it.

Then, in an even lower voice, he whispered.

-I'm sorry for your daughter, really.

And he left her alone.

Fara came home with a heavy heart, she didn't know how to tell Fern that Jod was going to come for dinner. Upon entering, she called her daughter but it was KB who answered her.

-We are upstairs!

Fara took the stairs and entered Fern's bedroom. As the day before, Fern lay in bed even though it was just late afternoon. She looked at KB quizzically and the girl shook her head.

-She's been like this since I took her home.

-How was school?

KB had sighed.

-I thought it was fine. No one said anything to her. But Fern... It was as if she wasn’t there. When I took her home, I had to struggle to get her to eat. I took the liberty of having lunch here.

-You did very well KB, you know that you are always welcome, whenever you want.

She nodded in thanks.

-Afterwords, she came up to the bedroom and lay down in bed. She doesn't talk to me. I'm worried.

Fara sat on the edge of the bed and caressed her daughter's forehead. Fern started at the touch.

-My child. Speak to me, please.

Fern’s sight focused on her.

-Mom?

Fara took her hand and kissed it.

-It's me, I'm back home. Can you tell me what happened? How are you feeling?

Fern shrugged.

-I'm fine.

She frowned.

-I don't feel anything.

Fara tried to hold back her tears. Her daughter didn't seem to be well at all. She kissed her forehead.

-Do you feel like eating something? Then immediately to bed.

She decided not to tell her anything about Jod. Fern was not in a condition to see him.

-I'll prepare something for you and bring it to your room, ok?

She didn't wait for an answer and motioned for KB to follow her.

-He's coming here tonight.

She told her while preparing a sandwich. KB hissed furiously.

-Fern is not well.

The girl said. Fara nodded and then sighed.

-At work... It was a disaster. Jod said that Fern is his. It was humiliating. He said that Fern had had no chance to refuse him, that I had not been able to protect her.

Fara's voice cracked.

-He played the part of the monster very well.

She continued bitterly.

-If Fern herself had not sworn to me on several occasions that she never had sex with him, I too would have believed that he had been raping her for at least a year and a half.

-Fern told me that they never went all the way but he... Do you know that they are seeing each other?

Fara had nodded gloomily.

-Fern told me... I think he's seducing her. Somehow, he is convincing her. I fear that in the long run Fern will give him exactly what he wants, what he had not been able to extort from her with violence and threats.

Fara closed her eyes and bent over, as if overwhelmed with grief.

-Thanks KB, for telling me. Fern doesn't tell me anything anymore. I think you're right. He is taking her away from us, somehow.

She laughed without joy.

-He knows how to be very charming, very gallant. But then, if you try to say no to him when he wants you to say yes...

She trembled.

-I don't want him near my daughter, I wish I could prevent him from seeing her but if he managed to convince Fern... I don't know how to defend her from herself.

-We can only be there for her and pick up the pieces when he breaks her heart.

KB whispered and Fara gasped.

-Do you think she loves him?

Fara asked, incredulous.

-I don't know, she didn't tell me that.

The girl confessed. Fara seemed to gather strength and took the plate with Fern's sandwich and a glass of water that she balanced near the sandwich.

-Thank you for being such a good friend. Now run home. The roads are no longer safe in the evenings.

She made Fern eat and convinced her to put on her pyjamas and then slip under the covers. She turned off the light and went downstairs, preparing dinner and setting the table for two. She stood on the lookout at a window and when she saw Jod walking down the driveway, she opened the door for him before he could knock or ring.

He looked at her in surprise, entering.

-Fara! Anxious to see me?

She slammed the door behind him.

-Not at all, but I didn't want you to wake Fern up.

He froze in the lobby, turning to look at her.

-Fern’s asleep?

He asked in an incredulous tone. It was not even dusk outside. Then he frowned.

-Did she know that I was coming?

She shook her head.

-She... is not well.

Jod took a step towards, invading her space.

-What do you mean she is not well? Has something happened to her? Did someone hurt her?

Fara bit her tongue so as not to start screaming in anger. It was pointless for that horrible man to make a show of concern for her daughter: the only one who had hurt Fern was him.

-She went back to school today. KB and the boys kept close to her all the time, no one said anything to her but when she got home, she immediately went to bed. She seems...

Fara was at a loss for words.

-… absent. Lost. She barely answered. I didn't tell her anything about you, she was barely aware of who was around her. I thought that a night of undisturbed sleep maybe will do her good.

She ran a hand over her eyes, which filled with tears.

-It scares me. If she doesn't recover tomorrow, I'll contact someone, a doctor... let's see if a specialist can help her.

Jod had turned pale and clenched his jaw, evidently worried. Then he turned his gaze upstairs.

-I want to see her.

He had stated and headed for the stairs. Fara had tried to stop him, grabbing his arm but he had pushed her away with an annoyed hiss.

-You can't stop me from seeing her. You can't stop me from doing anything. I'm only leaving if Fern wants me to leave.

He had climbed the steps two by two and soon found himself on the upper floor, tailed by Fara. He glanced at the room he had shared with her but it was obviously empty, Fara's things exactly where they had been the first day he had entered the house. He continued on to Fern's room. It was half-dark but Jod managed to reach the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, near the curled-up shape under the covers. He fumbled around on the bedside table, knowing that there was a small light somewhere, and dropped a datapad with a thud before finding it and turning it on.

Fern's eyes were closed and she seemed to be asleep. He put a hand on her shoulder.

-Leave her alone!

Fara whispered from the door, but Jod ignored her.

-Fern? Fern, wake up.

She slowly opened her eyes, breathing slowly, and looked in his direction. Her eyes were dull and did not focus on him. With a shudder, Jod realized that she wasn't seeing him at all. He caressed her forehead.

-I'm sorry Fern.

He whispered softly, only for her ears. She closed her eyes and apparently fell asleep again.

Jod slipped off his shoes and turned off the light, lying on the bed on top of the covers.

-Go away, Fara. I’ll stay here with her.

He heard the woman hissing angrily, but she could not in any way move him from her daughter's bed.

-You better do nothing to her while she is like this.

She growled furiously.

-I’ll leave her door and mine open. If I hear something, I swear I'll take a knife from the kitchen and stick it in your chest, have I been clear?

Jod didn't deign to answer, curling up around Fern's body and wrapping an arm around her waist. He kissed the back of her neck and tried to find a comfortable position. He was going to stay up and watch over her all night.

Fern woke up slowly, her mind still partially captive to the distressing dream she had had. She was in the Libertas and Jod held her in his arms and pressed against her in bed. In the dream she had been aroused and receptive to his attentions but she had been paralyzed, unable to speak and she had not been able to tell him she was willing and he had twisted her arm to immobilize her, snarling at her that she had to be quiet and not protest while he took what he wanted. She had regained consciousness unable to move and with her heart in her throat, slowly passing from sleep to wakefulness. She had opened her eyes to see her room, but her body had still been a prisoner of the dream because she felt Jod's arm tightened around her, his breathing against her neck and the warmth of his body pressed against her back.

-Good morning, Fern.

He whispered in her ear and Fern stiffened with a gasp of terror. He immediately let her go, and Fern turned around, trying to extricate herself from the sheets. With an expression full of amazement, she realized that Jod was indeed in her bed but that he was dressed and lying on top of the covers while she was below.

-Are you all right?

He asked her, frowning and visibly worried. She blinked in disbelief.

-Jod?

She asked in a confused tone.

-What are you doing here?

He gave her a beaming smile.

-Oh Fern, I was so worried...

The girl sat on the bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning. He got off the mattress and knelt down, putting some distance between the two of them.

-Yesterday I came to have dinner with you, but you... you were unwell. You had already gone to sleep. I woke you up, do you remember?

Fern shook her head slowly, frowning.

-I... no.

She tried to remember something from the previous day but couldn't focus on anything after KB and the boys picked her up to go to school.

-I don't remember anything about yesterday.

She admitted in a bewildered tone.

-What happened to me? And why are you here now?

He smiled at her.

-It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are better today. I was worried and so I stayed, to stand by your side.

Fern blushed slightly.

-Thank you...

She murmured, then looked around.

-What time is it?

-Judging by the light, I would say that the sun is about to rise.

He answered, looking out of the window through which a cold, grey light entered.

-I'm sorry that now everyone knows about us.

Jod admitted with a grimace.

-I didn't know what to say and so I took all the blame. If they have to look at someone with hatred and disgust, it is only right if that someone is me.

Fern nodded, lifting her knees and resting her arms on them. Jod put his hand on her wrist.

-I wanted to ask you...

He began with a desperate whisper.

-… I wanted to beg you not to cut me off. Please Fern. Don't leave me. I beg you not to stop seeing me, to come to me. Even just to talk, for what you want. I couldn't bear to lose you.

Jod's face was anguished and Fern stroked his cheek with her fingertips.

-I won't stop seeing you. It's not you who told everyone, it's not your fault.

Fern sighed, looking away.

-I guess I deluded myself into believing we could hide from everyone what happened, that we could hide but... I suppose it was destined to come out sooner or later. I always feared that one of your crew would let it slip that I was your concubine. Honestly, I'm surprised it took so long.

The girl shuddered.

-Thank you for taking the blame.

Jod interrupted her.

-It is my fault, Fern. I treated you as my property before my men, I was the first to use that word to describe you. I made everyone believe that I beat you and used you. What amazes me is that you don't hate me.

Jod concluded bitterly. She looked at him intensely.

-I don't hate you, Jod. Sometimes... Sometimes I have to admit that I am still a little afraid of you, of what you could do. But every time you behave, every time you respect my wishes, I fear you a little less.

Fern smiled at him and Jod leaned over the bed, bringing his face closer to hers but without completing the movement, letting her decide whether to kiss him or not. Fern leaned in turn and accepted his kiss. Then he caressed her cheek with the back of one hand.

-Now I'm going, before your mother wakes up and decides to stab me.

He said, jokingly. They shared one last kiss and then Jod left and Fern went back to curling up under the covers, trying to go back to sleep.

Fern had returned to school the following day and the day after that. Each day was less difficult than the last. As KB had predicted, she had been the object of pity from those who considered her a victim and disgust from those who thought that she had welcomed Jod's attentions or that she had somehow brought it on herself.

It took her more than a week to find the courage to see Jod again. She wandered around the supervisor's tower for a couple of hours, unable to make up her mind, before parking at the back, as usual, and knocking on his door. He hurriedly let her in.

-Has anyone seen you?

He asked her and Fern shrugged and answered flatly.

-It doesn't matter anymore. If they have seen me, they will believe that I am here because you ordered me to and to do what they imagine we do.

He looked at her worriedly.

-And what did you come here for, Fern?

He asked her in a low tone. She looked away, nervous.

-To train. It helped, you know? Two of your men were bothering some of my classmates. I knocked out one of them. It felt good.

Fern gave him a faint smile. He nodded, eager to please her.

-Sure! Come, come.

They started as usual but, as the training continued, Fern began to feel inexplicably angry. She was not facing Jod but Makus, the pirate who had destroyed her reputation with few words and so began to hit harder and harder, to strike more and more quickly. Jod noticed the change because he stopped attacking, getting defensive, dodging and parrying her blows. The harder she hit, the more Fern felt a blind fury mount inside her. She wanted her punch to hit the mark, she wanted to hurt someone, as she had been hurt. Eventually one of her blows went through Jod's guard, hitting him in the kidney. With a grunt, the man bent on his side and Fern took the opportunity to give him a violent kick to the knee. With a strangled scream, Jod fell and Fern made to hit him again.

-Enough Fern, I give up!

She didn't listen and hit him on the head. With a choked cry of rage, Jod raised his hand and grabbed both of her wrists with the Force.

-I said enough, Fern!

He screamed and Fern wriggle, trying to get out of his hold.

-You won't be able to free yourself.

He anticipated morosely, massaging his aching knee.

-If you calm down, I'll let you go.

-Liar!

She screamed.

-You said you would teach me to defend myself from anyone, even from you! That you could never hurt me again!

-Fern, enough!

Jod raised his voice too.

-Enough, please.

He repeated softly and in a pleading tone. Fortunately, she calmed down and Jod let her go. Fern took a few steps back, tugging at her braid and struggling to regain control of herself.

-I'm sorry Jod.

She admitted after a few minutes.

-Are you in pain?

She asked him, because he was still on his knees. Jod looked at her and Fen could see his expression changing, filling with desire.

-Fern...

He whispered in a hoarse voice.

-Tell me to stop and I'll stop right away...

With that, he placed his hands on the ground and crawled towards her slowly, giving her ample chance to tell him to stop. Fern become breathless as all her anger turned into another kind of passion. The muscles in her groin throbbed and she moaned. Jod smiled at her, covering the last steps that separated them. He leaned his cheek against her knee, whining and closing his eyes.

-Fern... I missed you.

He rubbed his cheek against her trousers and then went up, until his nose was pressed against the seam of her trousers, between her legs. Fern inhaled, feeling the pressure against her private parts, feeling wet and full of desire. He stuck out his tongue and licked her hard, through her pants and with a scream she grabbed his head, trying to keep her balance.

-I want you so badly.

He whispered.

-Please, tell me that you want me too.

A second heart was beating between her legs, and a thought crossed Fern’s mind: the image of him, between her thighs, pleasuring her with his tongue, as he had proposed to her countless times.

-Yes...

She answered in a hoarse voice, pushing herself against his mouth.

-I want you too. Let's go upstairs.

She preceded him and he followed her. He crawled up the stairs, pushing his head against her legs and uttering small sound of desperate desire. When they arrived in the room, she motioned for him to join her in front of the bed.

-Stay on your knees and don't undress.

She ordered him, bringing both hands to the waistband of her trousers. Jod held his breath and nodded.

Fern unbuttoned her pants and took them off, along with her underwear, blushing violently because it was the first time he was seeing her like this. But the sounds he made, desperate and needy, made her feel powerful and gave her confidence. She sat down on the edge of the bed.

-Your hands stay where I can see them, your clothes stay where they are and you won't touch yourself until I give you permission to do so.

She ordered him and he trembled, his gaze fixed on the point where her legs met. He inhaled deeply and licked his lips.

-As you want, Fern. I’m at your command. Can I lick you? Can I make you come? You have a beautiful cunt, I want to see it better, I want to caress you and please you, I want to make you scream with pleasure, I beg you, can I?

She began to breathe heavily, she was already terribly aroused and he still hadn't done anything to her.

-How should I sit?

She asked him with a hint of uncertainty.

-On the edge of the bed. Lie on your back or prop yourself up on your hands, make yourself comfortable, as you prefer.

She leaned back slightly, suddenly nervous and reluctant to lose sight of him. He kept his gaze fixed and concentrated. He caressed her inner thighs, giving her a fleeting glance and she nodded to him. He touched her, as he had touched her before under her clothes, and Fern threw her head back with a hoarse groan. She missed the exact moment when Jod replaced his fingers with his tongue. When that warm, smooth muscle touched her for the first time, Fen let out a scream of surprise, grabbed him by his hair and pushed Jod's head against herself. Minutes of pure pleasure followed as Jod explored her, licking and sucking and finally, when her muscles began to twitch into an orgasm, he slipped his tongue into her as far as he could. Fern screamed loudly, arching her back. Jod continued to lick her, slowly, until the tremors subsided. Then he put his hand back on her and began to caress her lightly, with his thumb.

-Can I touch myself now, Fern?

He begged her.

-I'm so aroused. My cock is so hard it hurts, please, can I at least open my pants?

-No.

She exclaimed in a stifled tone. Jod groaned.

-At least allow me to touch myself through the fabric, please!

-All right. Through the fabric.

He moaned again and bowed his head, starting to lick her again as his arm moved and Fern moaned with him, aroused again.

-Don't stop!

She ordered him when he stopped to catch his breath. Jod obeyed, bringing his left hand back to her, caressing where he wasn’t licking.

-Please Fern... Give me your hand!

Not understanding the reason for his request but feeling himself approaching her peak, Fern complied. He took her smaller fingers with his own, and Fern began to touch herself. It wasn't quite as satisfying, but then he pushed her fingers further down.

-Put a finger inside you, you’ll see: it will feel good.

He whispered to her between one passage of his tongue and another. Fern moaned loudly and did not answer, feeling an unstoppable orgasm approaching. When she arched her back, he pushed her middle finger inside and Fern screamed loudly. She felt her own muscles contract against her finger. Inside she was smooth, incredibly smooth, warm and wet. He closed her legs and she bent to one side, with her hand still resting inside herself, while the muscles kept on contracting. Through her finger, she felt them twitching and each contraction was a shudder of pleasure. Jod's eyes burned and he seemed to want to devour her.

-You were wonderful, Fern... Beautiful. I am so honoured that you allowed me to be with you, here, to watch you and to help you have an orgasm.

He kissed her knee with an adoring expression.

-I love you so much...

Fern swallowed.

-I didn't give you permission.

She scolded him in a hoarse voice and he seemed alarmed.

-You didn't say no... Forgive me if I made a mistake!

Then he smiled with satisfaction.

-Did you like having something inside? It's more intense, isn't it? I put my tongue in you before, you came wonderfully. Pleasuring you gives me so much pleasure, I'm still hard, can I lick your finger?

Fern withdrew her hand with a grimace. Pulling out the finger, the muscles had contracted in an unpleasant way, it had been almost painful.

-No, you don't deserve it.

He groaned.

-What can I do to make amends?

He asked her, starting to touch himself again, and Fern had an idea.

-Stop touching yourself. Go to the other side of the room, back against the wall, hands behind your back.

He widened his eyes but obeyed her. Fern finished undressing. Now she was the naked one and Jod was dressed, a wet spot on his pants and his penis hard.

-Open your pants and take it out. Don't push them down and hands behind your back!

With trembling hands Jod did as she commanded. He was breathing heavily and was very aroused. She gave him a full view of her naked body, standing up and starting to touch her breasts, caressing her nipples and then squeezing them between her fingers. Her moans and Jod's strangled pants rang out in the room. Then she lay down on the bed, spreading her legs in his direction, and with one hand she continued to play with her nipples, while the other went down and spread herself open, showing him how wet and aroused she was. Jod moaned loudly and leaned forward.

-Be still!

She ordered.

-If you're good, maybe I would allow you to lick me again, but only if you behave!

He pressed his back against the wall again, arching it slightly because of the hands he clutched convulsively behind.

Moaning softly Fern began to touch herself, slowly and unhurriedly she became aroused again and then began to push her middle finger inside herself. Her breath broke.

-Move it, please, in and out, slowly...!

He begged her and she did as he had suggested. Feeling something moving inside while she touched herself on the outside, redoubled the pleasure and Fern came suddenly, gasping. This time she immediately pulled out her middle finger and it didn't bother her at all. She lifted it up and looked at it, it was wet up to the knuckle.

-Fern...!

Jod moaned. His penis contracted and he made small movements with his pelvis.

-Please... I have to come...!

-All right.

She conceded, satiated for the moment.

-Use your hands, stay where you are. Then put it back in, close your pants and kneel in front of me again. If you want, you can lick me again. Only your tongue, I don’t want to I feel your hands on me.

With a sob of relief Jod grabbed himself and with a few firm jerks, he reached orgasm. Then he hastily put his clothes back in order and crawled to her, anxious to taste her again.

He made her come two more times, using only his tongue and in the end it was Fern who pushed him away saying enough.

He rested between her thighs while she caught her breath, caressing her ankle and languidly kissing her leg.

-It's getting late.

He said reluctantly.

-It's better if you go home.

She got dressed while he sat on the floor watching her. He looked happy and satisfied and Fern smiled at him and then bent down to kiss him with her tongue. His mouth tasted of her.

-I'm still sorry for hitting you, Jod.

She whispered to him, caressing his cheek. He smiled and shook his head.

-I think this was one of the best days of my life.

He confessed with a chuckle. She patted him on the shoulder.

-You're a pervert, you know?

She teased him.

-Only with you!

He exclaimed, proudly. He did not accompany her to the door, preferring to bid her farewell in the bedroom. He waited to hear her footsteps going down the stairs before making a grimace of annoyance and massaging the knee that she had hit. Crawling and staying on his knees all that time had been more than annoying. His knee hurt like hell but he hadn't felt the pain while Fern was present, being too focused on her and the pleasure they had shared. He looked at his legs: his left knee was slightly more swollen than his right. He sighed, resigning himself to taking a painkiller and to ice packs. He didn't have bacta at home but maybe it wasn't a bad idea to get some for the future.

He licked his lips as a satisfied smile widened on his face. Everything was proceeding well with Fern, even faster than he had planned. With a satisfied shiver he remembered how sweet she had been coming around his tongue and how she had got off on his bed, naked as he had always imagined her in his fantasies.

It was a little annoying to have to obey her every order, appear submissive and servile, but it was working greatly. Jod did not like to play the part of the submissive in a relationship, preferring to be the one who dominated even if having an obedient and meek woman bored him quickly. The best relationships, the ones he remembered with the most fondness were those in which he had had an equal relationship with his partner. With Fern it was different. She needed to be in control, to take the lead and decide the speed at which they proceeded. Jod grimaced discontentedly: he knew that it was his fault, having forced her and compelled her to do some things when she was not ready had probably marked her deeply. He himself, despite having had male lovers, had never been able to get close to their genitals, feeling an instinctive refusal and preferring that they take him in their mouth and to be the one who was on top. He didn't know when he would be able to kiss her on the neck again, probably only after he had fucked her. He wasn't even sure if he would be able to convince her to take him in her mouth, even if she had no trauma related to that act, however it implied for she to be in a submissive position. He needed to present it to her as a game, as a mutual exchange of pleasures, maybe he could propose to lick her while she sucked him...

Fern... Fern... He had never had such a long relationship in his life. Never had a woman captured and kept his attention for so long and it wasn't just because he had yet to fuck her. He really liked Fern, maybe he hadn't even lied when he told her he loved her. He couldn't imagine a day when he wouldn't want her by his side. Once she grew up, she could really be with him. She was going to be a better first officer than Pax and he would not have to fear any betrayal from her. In time he could even leave her the management of At Attin, her fellow citizens would be happy to deal with someone local, Fara would help her and he could enjoy his wealth, a well-deserved rest and the woman of his dreams.

The mere thought of finally being able to enjoy Fern to the fullest made him hard again. Now that he had made her feel what it was like with something inside, it was only a matter of time before he convinces her to let him do it and at that point he could start preparing her to have a full intercourse. She was incredibly tight and it would take a long time to get her used and relax her muscles. He didn't want to hurt her, he wasn't in any hurry. If everything went as planned, it would take six to nine months and then they would finally be able to make love.

One day Jod stopped Fern on the door of his house.

-For today, I had thought of something different.

He had announced to her with an excited smile. He had a bag on his shoulder and told her to get back on her bike.

-Let's go into the woods!

He announced, getting on his bike, parked for the occasion near the driveway. Intrigued, Fern let him guide her out of the city and into the woods to a clearing. There were broken droids and mannequins that had been dressed in pieces of armour leaning against the trees.

Jod stopped and dismounted, throwing to the ground the bag that landed with a metallic noise. Fern joined him.

-Why are we here?

She asked him curiously, looking around. He crouched down and opened the bag: it was full of firearms. He pulled out some blasters and a rifle, placing them on the grass.

-Have you ever used one of these?

He asked her, looking at her from the ground, and Fern nodded.

-At Achran, do you remember? They had us use something similar.

Jod snorted.

-Blah! The blasters were broken and they taught you shit.

She frowned, offended.

-It's time for you to learn, the right way.

She bent down and took in hand a blaster, an old model, heavy but powerful.

-Will you teach me?

He nodded with a smile.

-I don't want to appear suspicious but... Why do you want me to learn to shoot?

He lost his smile and shrugged, grimacing.

-You never know. At Attin it's no longer the safe place it once was, not for a girl like you. I taught you to fight with your bare hands but that won't help you if you have to face someone armed.

-Someone like your men and women?

Jod smiled awkwardly and Fern sighed, putting down the blaster she had been holding.

-Tell me the truth, Jod. Your crew knows they shouldn't touch me. The pirate who recognized me seemed convinced that you would kill his friend if he laid a finger on me.

Jod looked away and played with a tuft of grass, then took a small and compact, but no less effective, blaster from his bag, and stood up, facing her.

-You're right. I don't want to teach you how to shoot so that you can defend yourself from someone here on At Attin.

He looked embarrassed.

-It was supposed to be a surprise for your birthday but you found me out.

He took a deep breath.

-I wanted to propose that you come with me, outside of At Attin. You and I, not with the whole crew, not in Porto Borgo. Somewhere else.

-You and me.

Fern repeated in dismay.

-Out of At Attin.

Jod nodded.

-In a place where they don't know who I am, who you are. Where no one has ever heard me call you my concubine. We can only be... A man and his girlfriend, on vacation.

Fern blushed.

-As if we were... A couple? In a relationship?

She asked him and Jod nodded, scratching his head.

-And you think it's necessary for me to learn how to shoot before this... vacation.

Jod grimaced.

-Put like this it seems ridiculous but... do you remember Lanupa? It is a luxury place, full of rich people. The kind of place I want to take you. Yet there we crossed paths with Pokkit. Do you remember Pokkit?

Fern's face emptied of all expression.

-The bounty hunter you seemed so... intimate with?

She asked him with a hint of hardness in her voice. Jod froze and his face lit up with hope.

-Is it jealousy that I hear in your voice, my love?

Fern frowned and blushed again.

-In your dreams.

She muttered without being able to hide her embarrassment and Jod smiled, delighted.

-Yes, I had a sex with Pokkit but there were no feelings on either side. We were... colleagues? Accomplices? We worked together a few times, combining business with pleasure. We had fun together, until I left her with empty pockets and a bunch of ugly thugs on her heels while I slipped away with the loot. She never forgave me.

He put his hands on her cheeks, framing her face and becoming serious.

-You don't have to be jealous of her, Fern. She is nothing while you are everything. It's you I want, it's you I love. You are precious to me, and I want you to be safe. I'm not foolish enough to think I'm invulnerable and I want you to take no chances, under any circumstances.

He kissed her and Fern returned the kiss, hugging him.

-Will you allow me to teach you how to shoot?

He asked her, resting his forehead against hers and she nodded. He started with the small blaster, the lightest, until she became familiar with it, making her work on her aim.

They met for a few weeks in that clearing and Fern quickly became a good shot. Even moving the target away, she was able to hit it with some accuracy. Jod took the opportunity to hug and kiss her often, outside the confines of his home, even if in an isolated place where no one saw them. Initially she had been shy but Jod had never exaggerated, limiting himself to hugs and kisses, even if passionate, without ever trying to put his hands under her clothes and Fern had slowly relaxed, laughing and sometimes even starting the kisses herself. Jod was satisfied and elated. They saw each other less in the privacy of his home but Jod didn't miss sex too much. Surprisingly, Fern's simple company was fulfilling.

They were practicing shooting together, Jod was covering her with his blaster and Fern was standing behind him, with one knee on the ground, using the rifle, when suddenly Jod stopped and placed his hand on the barrel of her weapon, making her lower it. Fern gave him a quizzical look, but he was staring at a spot in the bush.

-Someone is approaching. Many someone. Stand up and stay behind me.

After a few seconds of tension, from the point that Jod was facing, the voices and noises of someone making their way through the undergrowth could be heard and then a small group of pirates appeared.

The seven armed men froze, with astonished expressions on their faces. Jod held the blaster in his hand, in full view even if it was lowered.

-Captain!

Exclaimed the one on the head, a nikto with red scales.

-Kar-dem and... friends. Droid hunting, I presume.

The pirates nodded and then looked around and Kar-dem grasped better the rifle he had in his hands.

-Have you seen our prey, captain?

He asked in a curious voice as his small dark eyes looked at the clearing, at the mannequins with the blast marks, the weapons piled up on the ground and the captain's concubine, also armed, hiding behind him.

-I can’t say I did.

The nikto moistened his lips.

-Strange to meet you here, captain. I didn't know that you visited the woods too.

Jod spread his arms, pointing to the clearing.

-It's a good place. Quiet...

-… Isolated.

The pirate concluded with a smile.

-And above all dangerous, captain. Sixteen people have already died in the last year. Hit by friendly fire during our friendly hunting trips.

Jod shrugged his shoulders in disinterest.

-I understand that you guys have to have fun. If you didn't like dangerous things, I guess you wouldn't have joined the pirates.

-While we're on the subject, captain.

The nikto continued, straightening his shoulders, aware that he had a group of friends behind him who shared his ideas.

-We guys are getting a little bored here on At Attin. If we wanted a quiet life, we would have stayed at home, doing an honest job. We miss action, you understand. We can't even have fun with the local people, because you forbade us to....

Jod bared his teeth.

-I have taken you to the greatest treasure the galaxy has ever seen and you even dare to complain.

-About this elusive treasure. You're giving it to us in dribs and drabs. You keep the best part, and I’m not speaking about the treasure only.

The pirate's gaze shifted to the girl behind the captain.

-We have to settle for Durko's whores while you enjoy the local girls, whom you forbade us to touch. It doesn't seem right to me... What do you think, guys?

The pirates behind him muttered their assent.

-Be careful, comrades...

Jod threatened in a dark voice.

-What you are saying is very close to mutiny. Even too much for me.

-And if it was?

The pirate dared to answer in kind.

-You are in an isolated place, there are only us here. Seven of us while you're alone with your whore. We will say that it was an accident. No one will be able to contradict us.

Jod did not respond but raised his weapon and fired, hitting the nikto in the head and simultaneously pushing Fern to the ground as he moved to the right.

The other six pirates immediately returned fire, focusing their attention on him, considering him the most dangerous opponent. As Jod hit the second one in the chest, Fern shot two of them down in quick succession. Despite trying to make himself a moving target, Jod received a grazing shot to the shoulder but he managed to kill the pirate who had shot him. The sole survivor tried to escape but Jod, on his knees and with his shoulder on fire, slipped his dagger out of its scabbard and threw it, leading it with the Force, driving it up to the hilt in the back of the last pirate, who fell face down into the tall grass with a scream of pain.

-Jod! Are you hurt?

Fern knelt by his side, reaching out to his shoulder, where the fabric of his jacket was blackened and scorched. Jod withdrew with a hiss of pain.

-It's nothing: it just gazed me. I have bacta at home, it will be enough. Help me.

He clung to her and rose to his feet. Then he reached the last pirate, who was crawling in the grass, dying. He planted the boot in his back, making him scream and slipped the dagger from his flesh, grabbed him by the forehead, hold his head up and cut his throat. When he turned around, he saw that Fern's eyes were closed and her face ashen and turned away. She was shaking and breathing heavily.

-Damn it.

Jod hissed. Then he sheathed the still blood-stained dagger, made an exaggerated grimace of discomfort, and rested a hand on his wounded shoulder.

-Fern...

He said in a voice full of pain.

-I need your help. The injury, it hurts and I can't ride the ‘bike. You will have to take me back.

As hoped, she focused her attention on him, forgetting the corpses around them.

-Of course! Come!

She ran up to him and grabbed him by the elbow, guiding him towards her speederbike.

-Can you sit behind me and hold on?

Jod nodded and she got in front, turned on the bike and, moving at moderate speed to avoid jolts, brought him home.

As soon as they arrived, Jod directed her towards the packages of bacta he kept. His droid cut off his jacket and shirt and then Fern put the bandages on his shoulder.

-Wouldn't you prefer to go to the hospital, supervisor?

The droid asked for the umpteenth time in a solicitous voice.

-There’s no need!

Jod repeated in an exasperated tone and hissed in pain when the bandage came into contact with the wound and then immediately relaxed when the bacta it was soaked in began to take effect immediately.

-Once the bacta has done its job I will barely have a faded scar left.

Fern stood behind the chair where Jod was sitting, biting her lip and looking at his back. They had been naked many times, Jod more often than her, and she had noticed the scars on his body but only now did she realize that some of them were burns and many others had been caused by a blade. She placed a hand on his right shoulder, where the bandage did not reach, where a series of palm-long and finger-wide burns intersected. It seemed like someone had placed red-hot metal rod on his skin, insisting on the same spot several times. Jod stiffened, feeling her palm on his skin and then turned his head.

-Fern?

She sighed.

-I had never give a good look at your back, before.

She blushed because the only occasions had been when he walked up to her on his knees and on those occasions, she had been too focused on her own arousal and on his desire-filled face to look at his back.

-What happened to you?

She asked him, running her fingertips over the scars. Jod turned pale and his expression closed.

-I don't want to talk about it.

He said firmly, and Fern hastily withdrew her hand, lowering her eyes.

-Forgive me, I didn't want to seem intrusive.

Jod toppled his head back and closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead with a forlorn expression.

-Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. But... It's not something I want to talk about, okay? Not now.

He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it.

-I have to thank you for today, Fern. I owe you my life.

She made an embarrassed expression.

-You’re exaggerating...

-It's true!

He insisted.

-One against seven... I don't know if I would have been able to eliminate them all. Without you they probably would have killed me.

She frowned.

-I didn't know that your crew could be so.... disloyal.

Jod laughed without joy.

-We are pirates. We are thieves, murderers and liars. Above all, we are used to stabbing each other in the back.

He kissed her hand again, looking at her with adoring eyes.

-I'm really lucky to have you by my side. I know that I can trust you, blindly, my love.

Fern moved uncomfortably, looking down, as she often did when he professed his love for her.

-I wasn't fast enough though. You've been hit.

-Without you I would have died. You killed two of them, you were really good.

Fern turned pale and her expression became nauseated.

-Right... two...

She slipped her hand out of his, rubbing her palm on the leg of her pants, her already clean hand because she had washed obsessively while the droid helped Jod undress.

-Fern...!

Jod said in an alarmed tone but she quickly walked away, rushing into the ground floor bathroom. With a grimace of pain, Jod got up and joined her, stopping in the doorway. She had left the door open and was on her knees finishing vomiting.

-Fern...

He whispered.

-I'm sorry...

The girl moaned, before vomiting bile again.

-Whatever for? I'm sorry you had to do that.

He turned.

-Droid! Take two glasses and my bottle of rum. Take them upstairs to my room!

Then he gently helped Fern to her feet and had her rinse her mouth and wash her face in the sink.

-Come, let's go to the bedroom.

He kissed her sweaty forehead as she sobbed weakly. He walked her into the bedroom, seating her on the mattress. He gestured to the droid to put down what it had brought on the bedside table and then motioned for it to leave.

-Shhh.

He consoled her, pouring two glasses with his left hand.

-Drink.

He put the glass filled with a small amount of liquor in her hand.

-Slowly!

He admonished her as she brought it to her lips. He drank from his in a single gulp while Fern made a disgusted face. Jod laughed softly.

-Drink it all, come on.

-Why?

The girl asked in a plaintive tone.

-It's disgusting.

-In the meantime, it will wash your mouth chasing away the taste of vomit. Moreover it will relax you a bit. I won't give you enough to get you drunk.

She drank the liquor slowly, making continuous grimaces of disgust, so focused on the flavour that she no longer thought about what had upset her. He poured a little more into her glass and filled his own to the brim.

-Drink this and then that's it.

She watched him drink in a couple of sips four times as much as he had poured her.

-And why do you drink so much?

He laughed.

-My tolerance threshold is much higher than yours, I have to drink more than half of this bottle on an empty stomach to start feeling tipsy. The liquor will make me a little less sensitive to pain.

Fern finished emptying her glass and then began to yawn.

-My head feels heavy.

She commented, blinking slowly, as if she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

-You drank on an empty stomach.

Jod whispered to her.

-Rest your eyes for a moment. Put your head on the pillow. Like this...

Fern curled up on her side and closed her eyes, and Jod stroked her forehead and head, rhythmically, until he was sure she was asleep. Maybe he should have made her drink more but he didn't want her to be sick when she woke up. The liquor was strong and she was not only unaccustomed to it but had just suffered trauma and vomited the entire contents of her stomach. The alcohol must have quickly entered her system.

He went downstairs in silence and took the communicator, dialling Fara's number.

-Jod?

The woman answered after a few seconds.

-Hi Fara.

Jod began.

-What's going on? Fern?

Jod grunted at Fara's alarmed tone because she had guessed the reason for his call on the first try.

-She's fine, don't worry. I have to ask you to come to my house, with a certain urgency.

-What happened to my daughter?

She hissed, furious.

-I told you that Fern is fine.

He replied in a tone equally full of antipathy.

-She's here with me. She is fine.

-Put her on.

Fara ordered him in an authoritarian tone.

-No.

Jod replied.

-Come here, as soon as possible.

He cut off the communication, refusing to answer when she tried to contact him again.

He opened the door for her before she could knock and Fara quickly slipped into his house, looking around for her daughter. Jod closed the door behind her with a thud. Fara turned to him with her mouth already open, to ask him about Fern and froze, seeing him shirtless and with a bandaged shoulder.

-What happened to you?

Jod’s grimaced, showing his teeth in a sarcastic smile.

-How cute, worrying about my health!

He sighed.

-Some of my men attacked me. I was injured, Fern is fine!

He repeated, raising his voice, anticipating the woman's question.

-Not even a scratch. In fact, I owe her my life. She killed two of my would be killers.

Fara's lips trembled.

-She killed...?

Jod nodded grimly.

-She's upstairs. I gave her some rum. Now she is asleep, it should keep her calm for a while.

He motioned for her to follow him into the kitchen, took two more glasses and a still sealed bottle and handed it to her.

-Would you?

He asked her in a tired tone, pointing to the bandage. Fara opened the bottle and poured two generous helpings.

-How could this happen?

She asked him in a puzzled tone.

-I thought you were in control of your people.

Jod laughed bitterly and swallowed the entire contents of the glass. He motioned for her to refill it but Fara raised an eyebrow and held the bottle out of his reach, drinking slowly from hers. Jod snorted, giving up.

-We are pirates. It's not the first mutiny attempt I've survived, although it's the first one that has happened since we arrived on At Attin. My crew is not happy, at least not everybody.

Jod sighed, running his left hand over his face.

-The life expectancy of a pirate captain depends a lot on his ability to keep his men and women happy. Disgruntled pirates mutiny. I thought that by taking them to an endless treasure I would make them happy and for most of them it is so. Thank you Fara.

The woman had poured him more rum.

-When we divided the spoils though... My best men and women, the most faithful and those with a good head on their shoulders, took their share and left. They left the life of pirates to retire and enjoy their shares.

He tilted the glass towards the woman, as if to toast to her. The spoils had been taken from the skin of the inhabitants of At Attin, robbed of their life's work.

-Those who remained... They are the ones without a life outside of piracy, the violent and stupid ones. I can manage them, I don't say no. That's why I take them away, at least once a month, with the Libertas. I entertain them, they spend their money, they have fun... I brought the whores from Porto Borgo here for them. And a lot of alcohol. But not everyone is satisfied.

He drank from the glass and this time shook his head when Fara offered him the bottle, in a silent request.

-The new ones are not a big deal. I have enlisted pirates of a certain age. Cautious people who have survived and who dream of a quiet life away from the front line. Many have taken up residence in your community.

Discovering that Chaet had left her cabin at Libertas to move into the home of a middle-aged At Attin computer technician had come as a real surprise. Chaet was his navigator, the second female member of his crew that he preferred after Koma and a true astronavigation enthusiast. It had not been easy to find a replacement.

-The occupation of your planet has not started well for you.

Jod continued. He felt relaxed and the liquor was beginning to loose his tongue.

-But it will end well, you'll see. I have plans for us!

-Us?

Fara asked, still sipping her first glass.

-Us. We pirates and you from At Attin. Me and Fern.

Jod smiled widely.

-Did she tell you about my birthday present?

She shook her head slowly, squeezing the glass tightly until her knuckles whiten.

-She liked Lanupa, she and the others too. We were able to stop there only for a short time, however: too dangerous. I want to take her to a place like that. Classy but a little less rigid as far as rules are concerned. No weapons were allowed on Lanupa and no children!

Jod laughed.

-We will be away a few days at most. Don't make that face Fara! I'll bring her back to you as she is now, I swear! If I had wanted to fuck her, I assure you that I would have had ample opportunities here too.

Jod shook his head.

-It's still too early.

-You're a vile bastard.

Fara commented in a harsh voice.

-Fern is still a little girl. She is a minor while you are an adult man.

-She's almost fifteen!

Jod replied even too aware of their age difference.

-She knows what she wants.

Faa shook her head, turning purple.

-You're filling her head with rubbish, convincing her that... what? That you are in love? You will seduce her and then? How long will it take for you to get tired of her? How long will it take for you not to take no for an answer when she doesn't feel like it or is tired or you ask her to do something she doesn't want to do? How long before you force her as you forced me?

Jod threw the empty glass against the wall, standing up.

-I love Fern!

He thundered, making Fara startle.

-I love her.

He repeated in a more reasonable tone of voice.

-I will never get tired of her. We will be together, whether you want it or not, with or without your approval!

Fara seemed genuinely amazed, staring at him with wide eyes and gaping mouth.

-You mean it...

She commented slowly. Then a faint smile took residence upon her face.

-Oh, Jod...!

She exclaimed as her expression filled with pity.

-I thought you wanted to seduce her and then you would abandon her, I thought you were just using her.... I thought I'd have to pick up the pieces of her broken heart once you were done with her!

Fara pursed her lips and shook her head slowly.

-Jod... you'll come off of this very badly.

He looked at her puzzled, frowning, and then sat down.

-What do you mean?

She snorted, laughing contemptuously.

-You are a grown man Jod. You know what you want. Fern is still a very young girl. What she wants today will not be what she’ll want in ten months, in a year, in five. Young girls are fickle and change. It's their nature, they don't do it with malice. Maybe now she is also convinced that she loves you and she really loves you. But she will change, she will grow and her feelings and ideas will grow with her. You can't expect to be what she will want in one, five, or ten years from now.

Jod grimaced bitterly, feeling nauseous.

-You're wrong.

He whispered.

-And above all you underestimate me. Do you think she'll get tired of me? No, never.

He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

-No!

He repeated forcefully. Fara pursed her lips and tilted her head.

-We’ll see. But if she were to change her mind, if she will decide that she doesn't want you anymore... Don’t you dare to try to force her to stay with you. If you really love her, you'll let her choose what she wants to do. Let's make a deal, you and I, here and now.

Fara held out her hand, palm up.

-If she chooses you, if she decides that you are the man she wants for her life, I will accept it. I will not oppose you and I will welcome you into the family. But if she doesn't want you anymore, you'll let her go and won’t force her to stay with you. If you really love her, you will accept my proposal.

Slowly and with a convinced smile on his face, Jod stretched out his hand in turn, his left and Fara was forced to change hand.

-I agree. I'm sure of Fern.

She tilted her head in agreement.

-Fine. I expect you to keep your word to me. Right now...

She let go of his hand and got to her feet.

-Take me to my daughter.

Fara had woken Fern up and accompanied her home, to recover. Jod had ordered a group of droids to go and retrieve the bodies in the woods, had them loaded onto a transport and ordered Pax to hang them in the gallery of the Libertas, in the place reserved for mutineers.

For a while no one would whisper against him behind his back.

Fern disappeared for several days. Observing her through the droids, Jod knew that she had also been missing from school and became worried, fearing that she had another crisis like the one she had had after everyone had learned of their relationship and so he summoned Fara to his office, to ask her for explanations.

-Fern was quite upset about what happened but she will return to school tomorrow.

The woman informed him in a grumpy voice. It was evident that she blamed him for his daughter's condition.

-I asked you how she is, not when she will go back to school.

Jod said in an annoyed tone. Fara sighed.

-She has nightmares at night. She can't sleep and is always tired. During the day she seems well but then when night falls ... she is afraid to fall asleep.

-I want to see her.                                            

He said and frowned when Fara shook her head.

-You are the reason for this disaster, I don't want you to see her until she gets better.

Jod slammed his fist on the table that divided them.

-Mine was not a request. Either she comes to me or I come. Tonight I’ll come by for dinner, I imagine that Fern feels more comfortable if she is in a familiar environment where she feels safe.

Fara had pursed her lips, unhappy, but she could not refuse.

It was Fern who opened the door for him that evening. She looked tired, as Fara had anticipated: pale and with dark circles under her eyes.

-Hi Jod.

She had whispered and then moved away to let him in.

-Dinner will be served in about half an hour.

Fara informed them, emerging from the kitchen where their droid was preparing the meal. Jod nodded and then turned to Fern.

-Can we talk, you and I? Alone?

Fara had murmured her dissent but Fern had nodded, motioned for him to follow her and then took him to her room. She had sat on the bed, her hands clasped in her lap, and Jod had moved her desk chair closer, unsure of how she would react to his proximity.

-What's going on Fern? How are you?

She shrugged her shoulders and looked away.

-I'm fine.

She said in a tired tone.

-Don't lie. You are not well. No one would be okay after killing two people.

She flinched and widened her eyes, finally meeting his gaze.

-You are unwell, you have nightmares about what happened. You probably wonder how you could have acted differently but the answer is always the same, if only you could think clearly: you couldn't have done anything else. If you hadn't shot those men, they would have killed me and then they would have killed you too. It wasn't murder, Fern, but self-defence. I know it's upsetting and you feel guilty, do you think my first time I didn't feel anything? I cried and vomited and didn't sleep for days. In the end the others got me drunk to make me sleep but the nightmares didn’t go away. The next time it was easier, and the next even more easy, until you kill without remorse. But I don't want you to go down the same path as me. If you feel something is good, it means that your conscience is not dead, it means that you are alive and that you are a good person. You don't have to be ashamed for feeling guilty but you also don't have to continue to punish yourself for something that has passed and that you can't change.

The girl burst into tears, covering her face and then, surprisingly, she got up and threw herself into Jod's arms, who welcomed her on his lap with a sigh of relief. He hugged her, kissing her head and she threw her arms over his shoulders and hid her face against his chest.

-I see them when I close my eyes!

She confessed in a broken voice, between sobs.

-Sometimes I kill them and they... they fall slowly and die and I... other times I can't pull the trigger and they make me watch as they kill you and I can't save you and it's my fault if you die!

Jod held her tightly as she cried. When she finally calmed down, she curled up against his chest, simply enjoying his embrace.

-I never want to shoot again.

She admitted in a desperate tone but Jod shook his head.

-No. If you don't want to kill again, stop training isn't the solution – you have to do the exact opposite. You have to keep on training, getting so good that you will never kill someone by accident again, not unless you really want to. You have to keep training and become so skilled that you would be able to shoot someone and incapacitate them without killing them. You don't have to stop but continue.

She looked at him, surprised, and then her face became thoughtful.

-Maybe you're right.

She admitted slowly.

-I don't have to give it up forever, refusing to shoot, but become better.

-That way it will never be an accident again.

Jod concluded and Fern nodded, smiling faintly.

-Thank you. Mom... she doesn't understand what I'm going through. You do.

She caressed his face with her fingers and then leaned over, kissing him on the lips. Jod groaned.

-I miss you Fern... You stopped coming over, I was going crazy, I was afraid that you were angry with me, that you didn't want me anymore.

She shook her head frantically.

-No, no it's not like that, I... I felt guilty, because those men could have killed you and I... I wish I hadn't killed them.

-Those men could have killed you.

Jod was keen to point out.

-And it would have been my fault. I had brought you there, I exposed you to danger.

He concluded bitterly.

-Can you forgive me?

Fern didn't answer him but kissed him again, with more enthusiasm than before.

-Will you still be leaving with me next month?

He asked her anxiously. She grimaced.

-I wanted to come, really... but I feel... guilty, wrong...

She admitted.

-That’s why we have to go, a change will do you good. Just you and me. If you want I'll keep my hands to myself and we'll go as friends, nothing more!

Jod had had many plans for those days when he would have Fern all to himself but he would have gladly given them up just to have her by his side, in any capacity, even as a friend.

Fern, however, fidgeted on his lap.

-Actually I... I miss you too.

She placed a hand on his chest, caressing him through the fabric of his shirt.

-I want to spend some time alone with you... to kiss and touch you... and let you touch me.

Jod trembled: it was like a dream come true. He got hard hearing Fern admit so openly that she wanted him too, finally. She pressed against him and Jod moaned softly.

-I feel that you too ... want me.

She whispered to him, smiling. He gasped.

-Fern... Your mother is downstairs, in the kitchen. She once threatened to stab me and I'm not so sure she had been joking.

-Tomorrow, then. Your home?

He nodded and pushed her away from his knees. Fern, rising, stroked him with her hand through his pants and he moaned again.

-You’ll be the death of me.

He accused her.

-Go down to your mother, I... I need a moment.

She obeyed him laughing and Jod shook his head, smiling back.

The dinner was pleasant, although Fara remained rigid and with an expression full of reproach. Fern smiled at him many times and waved goodbye as he left, anxious for the new day to come and for her to be in his arms again.

The next day she began kissing him before the door was even closed behind her. Jod took her in his arms and lifted her up, slamming her back against the wall. Fern kissed him eagerly and Jod did the same, grinding his arousal against her.

-Your room, now...

She gasped between kisses and Jod passed an arm under her knees, lifting her up and taking her to his room and bed. She helped him undress him and then stepped back, unsure of what she would do: they had never been naked at the same time. Indeed, she pushed him on the mattress and began to touch him and Jod threw his head back while she took him in her hand. Fern lay down by his side and licked his neck, from collarbone to jaw and then bit him shyly below his right ear. Jod inhaled in surprise and then groaned, pushing himself against her hand that had begun to move rhythmically.

-Yes, please... do it again...!

He begged her and Fern complied, licking, biting, and sucking as Jod moaned and squirmed beneath her. He put his hand on hers but Fern pushed his hand away and straddled him, groaning and pushing herself against him. Jod grabbed both of her breasts through her shirt and she sighed.

Jod would have been content to caress her through the fabric of her shirt and watch her have an orgasm just by rubbing against his stomach, but she had other plans. She looked him straight in the eye and slipped the shirt off her pants, then passed it from her head. She threw it to the side and took off the simple sports bra she was wearing underneath. Jod looked at her with eyes full of admiration and put a hand on her bare shoulder.

-Can I let your hair down?

Fern nodded and pushed the braid in front. Jod pulled the clasp off, running his fingers through the strands. He stroked her loose hair over her bare breasts and then brushed his fingers against her nipple. She trembled, closing her eyes.

-You're beautiful. I love you, Fern.

He grabbed both of her breasts, stroking her nipples with his thumbs and she pushed her pelvis against him.

-Jod...

She moaned, arching her back and pressing her breasts against his palms. Then, with trembling hands and an uncertain expression, she unbuttoned her pants and slid down. Jod followed her with his gaze, sitting up. She got off the bed and took off her pants, remaining naked.

-Fern...?

He asked, frowning. Fern returned to the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling him, kissing him. Jod let out a choked cry as she pushed herself down and his member made contact with her buttocks. He grabbed himself with his right hand while with his left arm he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her away.

-What are you doing?

He asked, confused. She didn't answer him but lay on his chest, kissing him. She slipped off his body and pulled him to her. Jod let himself being moved, painful aroused. He didn't understand what she was doing: it was as if she wanted to induce him to have sex with her. With one arm he propped himself so as not to crush her with his weight, he moved away from her with his pelvis and with his free hand he covered her, starting to touch her. She was wet. She pushed against his hand and he stroked her.

-Please...

She whispered against his lips. She covered his hand with her own and pushed one of his fingers into herself. Jod pulled his face away from hers and to look at her face. She grimaced, obviously uncomfortable, and Jod stopped, withdrawing his finger. Fern hissed her disappointment and tried to push him back, but Jod took his hand away. Then she wrapped her legs around his hips and pushed herself against him. Jod let out a scream. He was incredibly hard but there was something wrong. He rolled away from her, shoving away her legs.

-Fern, stop it! What are you trying to do?

Then he raised his voice, angry.

-Are you crazy? Do you have any idea what I could do to you?

Fern burst into tears, covering her face with her hands and turning on her side, with her back to him.

-Fern...

Jod whispered, all his desire completely gone. With a hesitant hand he touched her shoulder, fearing that she might scream and try to escape his touch. Fern turned and held out her arms to him.

-I'm sorry!

She exclaimed weeping, reaching for his neck. Jod wrapped her in a hug, held her to his chest and let her cry. When the sobs subsided, he put his palms on her cheeks and turned her face until their eyes met.

-What's going on Fern?

He asked her, trying to use a soft tone of voice. She sniffed and pushed her cheek against his palm.

-I... I don't know. I wanted.... I'm sorry...

She began to weep again and then continued in a broken tone, her face full of shame.

-I know you don't want to... but I wanted you to hurt me.

She covered her face with her hands again and Jod felt himself freeze.

-Hurt you?

He repeated in a voice full of horror.

-I was feeling unwell, I've been feeling unwell for days. Inside. I wanted to hurt in the body too, maybe it would have given me some relief. I'm sorry if I used you...

Jod swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. She had come very close to getting what she wanted.

-I almost give you what you were asking for.

He said darkly.

-And you would have discovered that it was not what you really wanted!

He went on with an uncompromising tone. He ran a hand over his face and got out of bed, putting his pants back on.

-Jod... I'm sorry...!

She screamed, holding out an arm, frightened that he would walk away.

-Shh...

Jod immediately returned to the bed, hugging her again.

-Hush. You are still hurting and I didn't notice it. Forgive me.

He lay on the bed with her in his arms, comforting her, stroking her hair and back as she pressed her naked body against his, hugging him tightly.

After a while she began kissing him again, sighing against his lips and pressing her hardened nipples against him. She stroked him through his pants, arching against him.

-Do you really want it this time?

He asked her in a whisper and Fern nodded. Jod made her lie on her back and slid down, between her thighs and began to lick and caress her. Fern's moans were finally of pleasure as he licked her everywhere, caressing her with his tongue. She arched her back welcoming him when he pushed his finger into her and began to move it rhythmically. Jod moved slowly, looking at her face every now and then to make sure there was no pain in her expressions but only pleasure. Encouraged by the sounds she was making, he took his time to explore her. She came wonderfully around him, blushing up to her breasts and screaming with her mouth open and eyes closed.

Later, when her breathing had calmed down and while she was resting curled up against his chest, Jod spoke.

-I don't want to hurt you, Fern. Not even by mistake. You know I want to make love to you, I have never hidden it from you but I have always respected your desire not to do that. I really want you very much and I almost took what you offered me. I didn't do it for two valid reasons, my love. The first is that you are not in the least ready, neither physically nor emotionally: I want you to be sure, to really want to make love to me. I prefer to continue to please you with my tongue and hands, without ever having a full intercourse rather than losing you because I was too hasty. The second reason is more ... practical.

Jod grimaced.

-Do you use contraceptives?  Because I don't.

Fern lifted her face from his chest and looked at him with her mouth open. He smiled wryly.

-Oh, yes. You hadn't thought about it, had you?

She shook her head slowly.

-I don't know about you but I have no intention of ever becoming a parent. If we make love there is a risk that you will get pregnant. I would like to spare you the trauma of an abortion.

With an embarrassed groan she closed her eyes and buried her face against his chest. He hugged her tightly and kissed her head.

-I feel so stupid!

She admitted with a whine. Jod smiled.

-Not stupid, my love. Only young. Don't think that I don't realize how much difference there is between you and me, of our age difference. I am the adult in this relationship and it is my job to think about these things. It is my responsibility to make sure that you do not make mistakes dictated by inexperience.

-Do you want to make love to me?

She asked him. However it was not an offer, the tone was uncertain.

-You know I do, Fern. But I also hope you know that I will never pressure you. We will do what you want, in your own time.

She looked him in the face.

-You said I'm not ready.

She pointed out, frowning.

-Don't get scared.

He whispered, looking at her intensely and then made her lie on her back and with one hand unbuttoned his pants, freeing himself and rolling on her, between her open legs. He was hard and leaned his arousal against her sex, feeling how wet she still was after her orgasm, wet and hot. Fern stiffened with a frightened gasp, putting her open palms against his chest, ready to push him away. He froze, on top of her, biting his lip, eager to press himself against her heat but knowing that the temptation to push would be irresistible. He pulled away from her, kneeling between her open legs.

-See? You're not ready.

She relaxed immediately, grimacing.

-You're an idiot!

She insulted him, pushing him to the side and closing her legs. Then she sighed.

-But you're right. I don't want to have sex with you. It would have been a mistake.

She looked at the ceiling, pursing her lips, thoughtful.

-Thank you, Jod.

She whispered, looking at him gratefully.

-Thank you for not doing anything to me.

He kissed her.

-I love you, Fern. I don't want to hurt you.

She hugged him.

-I will came away with you, after my birthday, as we had decided.

She stroked his face with one hand and then blushed.

-I'll be your girlfriend. It will be... different.

-Oh, Fern...

He groaned.

-Do you only want to be my girlfriend when no one knows us? Don't you want to be mine here too? I love you, you know I love you! Do you really feel nothing for me?

She moved uneasily, not meeting his searching eyes.

-I do have feelings for you, Jod. Otherwise I wouldn't be naked in your bed.

She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times.

-I don't know if I love you... It is really too early. I'm not fifteen yet...

Jod nodded.

-All right. Do you trust me?

She nodded without hesitation.

-Do you miss me when we're not together?

She blushed and nodded again.

-Do you think of me?

He asked her in a whisper and she smiled shyly, nodding again. He kissed her.

-That's enough for me because that's how my love for you began. First I longed for your body, then for your company, your trust, your time. I think of you all the time, I think of the time we spent together and what we will do when we will be together again.

She swallowed.

-I think of you too, continuously.

She admitted.

-Maybe I'm falling in love too?

He kissed her passionately and Fern sighed against his lips, sinking her fingers into his short hair and arching her back, to push herself against him, feeling him hard and excited again.

-I still want you...

She groaned, feeling the muscles between her legs contract and throb. He caressed her slowly.

-Did you like it when I stuck a finger in your cunt?

He whispered to her in a hoarse voice. She moaned and nodded.

-Do you want me to do it again?

Jod continued.

-I want to penetrate you with my fingers while I lick and suck you, I want to get you off while you are around me, I want to put two fingers inside you, spread you out so well.

Feeling her wet and throbbing he slipped a finger into her, caressing her with his thumb and she moved her pelvis against his hand, moving to the rhythm of his thrusts, meeting his finger and moaning loudly.

-My cock is much bigger than my fingers. Touch it, Fern!

He took her wrist and encouraged her to wrap her hand around him, pushing himself against her clenched fist.

-You're so tight...!

He moaned, increasing the pace, moving his pelvis along with his wrist, imagining that Fern's closed hand tightened around him was her sex squeezing him. She came with a long moan and he followed her soon after, coming on her stomach and collapsing next to her, breathing hard. Fern's eyes were watering when she opened them again to look at him, brushing her finger against the liquid dripping down her side onto the sheets.

-Did I hurt you?

He asked anxiously but Fern shook her head and offered him a trembling smile. Then she frowned and nodded.

-A little. Not while ... while you were inside. But now it burns a bit.

She admitted. He kissed her forehead and held her in his arms.

-Forgive me, I let myself be carried away. Promise me that if I do something that hurts you, you will tell me immediately. Tell me to stop and I will do it. I'm serious: promise me, Fern!

She nodded and with a sigh and a yawn relaxed on his chest,

-You're so warm... Would you hold me?

He did so and let her slip into a state between sleep and wakefulness, rhythmically caressing her shoulder and back.

While she rested, Jod reflected. He had come very close to making love to her. It would have been a disaster if he had accepted her offer, when she drew him to her, naked against her. He had explored her with his finger. Not only was she still too tight, her muscles weren't relaxed enough to accommodate him in full without hurting her, but he had felt the barrier of her virginity. He shuddered. The wisest thing to do would have been to break it with his fingers, perhaps while she had an orgasm. She would probably feel minimal pain, hoping that she would bleed very little. But Jod was greedy. He had never had a virgin, he had never been a woman's first lover and he wanted his cock to break that barrier, he wanted her blood on him, he wanted to remember for all his life her expression as he thrust into her for the first time and he wanted the grimace of pain that she would make when he broke that seal. The proof that he, Jod, had been the first and, if he had played his cards right, also the only one.

Chapter Text

 VII

The weeks that separated them from the day of departure seemed to fly by. Sex with Fern was wonderful now that she finally agreed to be naked with him and allowed him to penetrate her with his fingers. Her orgasms were more intense but Jod had to be more careful, curbing his enthusiasm because she was not yet used to it and hurting her was easy.

A couple of days after her fifteenth birthday he told her to pack a bag to be away for five days.

-You said a couple of nights!

She objected, dismayed. Jod shrugged.

-The place where I want to take you is a two-day journey from here and back. Two days of travel, three nights there.

-What should I bring?

She asked him nervously, already foreshadowing the furious quarrel she would have with her mother. He smiled lasciviously.

-Very little, darling. I'll take you to the sea. You and I, on a small island with a secluded bungalow. Crystal clear water, white sand, palm trees and no one around for many miles. I don't plan to wear anything at all.

-I can't swim.

She pointed out to him in a warning tone but he smiled.

-I can't swim either! There are no dangers, I made sure in advance: the portion of beach we will occupy is closed off with a balustrade, the water is not too deep and you can stand. It's like a shallow pool. Very relaxing, totally safe.

His voice became hoarse and full of desire.

-You and I, naked and alone, with provisions for three days. No one will disturb us.

Fern laughed nervously and he, noticing it, became serious.

-You don't have to fear me, Fern. We won't do anything you don't want to do. We will pleasure each other, without pressure to do anything else.

With a sigh, Fern leaned on his shoulder, comforted.

-I know, I trust you.

Jod looked at her with eyes full of love and kissed her.

To Fern's surprise, they took the Onyx Cinder.

-I'm fond of this ship!

Jod said enthusiastically, as Fern dropped the bag with her clothes near the pilot's chair. The hatch that Jod had torn with the Force had been repaired and the ship, while still smelling slightly of earth and mould, had been cleaned.

-From the outside it doesn't even look like the same ship.

Fern stated, sitting in the co-pilot's chair as Jod turned the engines on and began to manoeuvre the ship out of the Libertas' hangar.

-Rennod had covered the hull with a lot of useless scrap metal, to camouflage it and make it look like heap of junk. We found out when I had it repaired.

He entered the coordinates of their destination as they moved away from the planet through the barrier. Fern bit her lip, suddenly uncertain and uncomfortable.

-What happened to SM-33?

She asked in a faint voice. Jod waited until they had come out of the storm of green clouds and entered hyperspace before turning to her with a sigh and responding.

-I had it broken down and delivered to Benjor. As far as I know, it is still disassembled in his workroom.

He shook his head.

-I don’t trust that droid but I know it means something to you. I would have liked to have it destroyed but... I didn't want to hurt you. It can be repaired but I don't want it to be repaired. You understand?

Fern nodded, looking down. Jod reached out, holding out a hand.

-I didn't mean to make you sad, Fern. I hoped that our journey would start differently.

She accepted his outstretched hand, squeezing it and getting up from her chair to sit on his lap.

-Don't worry, Jod. I'm glad you didn't have it destroyed. Thank you.

She kissed him.

-As for the mood... We are still in time to improve it.

She concluded in a hoarse voice, meeting his tongue. Jod caressed her over her clothes, brushing her breasts and causing her to shiver and moan against his lips. He made her stand up and took her by the hand, he would not have been able to walk the distance to his cabin with her in his arms, and led her along the corridors, stopping often to hug and kiss her. Only once he entered his cabin, while pushing Fern toward his bed, he realized that he had not taken into account a very important detail: that cabin, that bed, was the place where he had almost raped Fern when she had been only twelve years old. Fern froze, stiffening, as he nudged her forwards, his hands resting gently on her shoulders. She began to shake her head frantically, breathing heavily, faster and faster.

-Fern?

He exclaimed, alarmed, making her turn around and meeting her terrified gaze. She struggled against his chest, wriggling out of his grasp and quickly backing away, stumbling and falling on the mattress.

-No!

She screamed desperately, kicking and backing away on the sheets, reaching the point where the mattress met the window and curling up in a foetal position, raising her arms with her palms forward, as if to defend herself from him.

He also raised his hands, comprehending what was happening and kicking himself for not having anticipated that possibility. There were other cabins on that ship, he could have chosen another. He gradually walked backwords, making soothing sounds.

-Shh Fern. It's okay, you're safe. You're safe...

Slowly she began to calm down, seeing that he was not approaching. Her breathing slowed down and she looked around, confused and trembling.

-Jod?

She asked in an uncertain tone, as if she didn't understand what had happened.

-Forgive me Fern. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have brought you here.

He scowled bitterly at himself.

-It's my fault, this is the place of your nightmares and I was touching you and pushing you right towards that bed.

He ran a hand over his face.

-I'm an idiot. I feel so guilty.

Doubly guilty: for having caused her that particular trauma and for having brought her right there.

Fern moved on the bed, approaching the edge and trying to get up but her legs gave way and she fell back on the mattress. Her lower lip trembled.

-I’m sorry, Jod...

She held out her arms to him, seeking comfort.

-Don't apologize, love. The fault is mine alone.

He approached slowly, making sure to stay in full view and ready to back away again if she showed signs of distress. Fern, on the other hand, leaned even further towards him, grabbing his clothes and pulling him to her.

-Hug me...

She begged him and he obeyed her, holding her in his arms and kissing her sweaty forehead.

-Let's go to another cabin.

He whispered to her.

-No!

She exclaimed, shaking her head against his shoulder.

-I have to overcome it. You won't hurt me.

She sighed, heartbroken.

-I don't understand what happened to me: I didn't have the same reaction when we were alone in your cabin on the Libertas.

Jod grimaced discontentedly. It was different: on the Libertas she had been worried about KB and he had been angry, they had not entered it with him kissing her and squeezing her breasts. 

-No, Fern. You don't have to force yourself to do anything. These days are for us, days when I want to make you feel good.

He made her stand up.

-Let's go to the first mate's cabin. I bet you have never been there.

He led her out and into the other cabin, and they lay down together on the dusty bed. Jod just hugged her, caressing her back and shoulders, comforting her. They fell asleep like this and the next morning, after a restless night, they were awakened by the proximity bell notice, which warned them that they had reached their destination.

Jod stood up, kissing Fern's cheek and whispering that she could sleep a little longer, then made himself a strong black coffee in the galley before going to the cockpit and landing at the resort.

The Onyx Cinder, while no longer the rusty bucket she had seemed on Lanupa, was nevertheless an old and battered ship, looking out of place next to the luxury ships parked around her. He and Fern didn't seem to fit the place either, with their everyday clothes, creased after sleeping in them, and tired expressions. The employee who came to meet them, however, was all bows and smiles: Jod had paid in advance the exorbitant price of the private island he had booked.

Fern looked curiously out the transport that would take them to their destination. The air was humid and hot and she took off her jacket, feeling the fabric of her shirt begin to adhere unpleasantly to her sweaty skin. The sky was blue and clear and the sea they were flying over was an intense and crystalline blue. Jod put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple.

-Do you like it, love?

She smiled at him and nodded, happy. The island on which the transport left them was really small, the wooden bungalow occupied more than half of its surface, the rest was covered with a dozen green palm trees and white sand. Fern quickly took off her shoes and rolled up her pants to her knees, running along the shoreline and feeling the grains of wet sand between her toes, before plunging into the water. She breathed in deeply the smell of the sea. It was wonderful. Jod approached her on the beach shortly after.

-It's beautiful!

She told him with enthusiasm and a radiant smile. He looked at her and smiled back at her.

-You are beautiful.

She blushed and then turned to watch the transport fly away. Jod joined her in the shallow water, getting his shoes and pants wet and hugging her from behind. Fern felt him harden and she arched against him, threw her head back and kissed him. He grabbed her breasts.

-There are only us here...

He whispered. She smiled and then pulled away from him, going to the only building on the island and stopping to pick up her shoes, running on the bungalow patio. Jod joined her at the door and hugged her again, stopping her and Fern laughed, blushing and wriggling.

-Be patient!

She scolded him with a smile. Then she looked around. The small building consisted of one large room with a low table for eating meals and a small kitchen. An open sliding door gave a glimpse of a large bedroom and it was there that Fern went, followed by Jod. In the few steps that separated them from the room, the two began to undress, scattering clothes on the floor and laughing. They fell naked on white sheets fresh of laundry, kissing passionately. Jod pinned her by pushing her back against the mattress and went down her body, licking and kissing, paying special attention to her breasts and tickling her when he bit her side. Then there was only moaning and panting as he pleasured her with his tongue. After she came, Fern tried to convince him to get on the bed too but he laughed and began to lick and touch her again and she relaxed on the mattress, knowing that he would not stop until she had another orgasm.

He gave her three before he too climbed on the bed, lay on his side and let her touch him. It didn't take him long, he was incredibly hard and aroused. Then they rested, embracing and kissing.

-How about trying the water, love?

He asked her, winking. At her nod of assent, he took her by the hand and, naked, led her to the patio. It was strange for Fern to be naked in the sunlight and outside, but there was no one, only Jod looking at her as if she were the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. The patio of the bungalow descended directly into the sea with steps that plunged into the water. A balustrade fenced off that stretch of beach, closing it off. They immersed themselves in the clear water, reaching the metal parapet, warmed by the sun. The water reached Jod’s shoulders and even Fern could stand. She clung to the balustrade with her hands and let herself float, detaching her feet from the sand. Jod watched, full of desire, her breasts emerge from the water like two small islands. They stayed a while, enjoying the peace and quiet, in a comfortable silence. Fern smiled and closed her eyes, dipping her head in the water and letting her hair float around her, caressing her shoulders and back. Jod pulled her to him, making her place the back of her neck on one shoulder and kissing her forehead.

-It's late in the morning, Fern. They advised me not to stay outside for too long during the central hours of the day: we are not used to the sun of this planet and our complexion is too light. It would be a shame to get burn, it would ruin our holiday.

-Are you telling me that we have to stay inside the house, during the central part of the day? To do what, I wonder?

She replied in a mocking tone, stretching an arm into the water and grabbing his member. Jod grunted.

-Many things...

He whispered in her ear.

-Many, many interesting things...!

Then he sucked on her earlobe and kissed the outline of her jaw until he reached her lips.

They went back inside and found that the shower was big enough to accommodate them both. Jod tried to touch her there too but Fern, laughing, pushed his hands away.

-We won't get clean if you continue like this. Wait a moment!

She scolded him with a smile. They washed themselves quickly and, once dried, Jod made her lie down on the table.

-Like a succulent banquet.

He told her, before starting to use his tongue on her again while he touched himself, making her reach her peak quickly and then starting to lick and massage her again with more enthusiasm than before. In the end, she pushed him away.

-Stop it, Jod.

She complained.

-You already gave me five orgasms today, I'm tired and hungry, for food though! I skipped breakfast...

He caressed her open legs.

-All right. I’ll look at what we have. But I want you to stay like this: lying on the table.

Jod assembled a quick lunch consisting of soft cheeses and vegetables that didn't need much preparation and fed her, insisting on placing the food on her skin when it was his turn to eat, taking it directly with his mouth and licking her.

In the afternoon they rested in bed, dozing and touching each other languidly. When evening came Jod lured her back into the water, sitting on the steps, immersed up to his waist, to watch her play in the shallow water holding her breath underwater. He leaned with one elbow on the step above the one where he was sitting and took himself in hand, touching himself slowly, enough to keep himself aroused but not enough to find completion. When she got tired of the game and began to try to float without going under, he called her.

-Fern...

She knelt on the sand, the sea water brushing against her shoulders and her eyes were immediately attracted by the movement of his arm and his member sticking out of the sea surface.

She approached, reaching out, convinced that he wanted to be touched.

-Oh, Fern.

He moaned as her hand joined his, but he didn't let her control of the movement. Fern looked into his face, with a questioning expression.

-There is something I wanted to ask you for some time now.

He began with a hoarse voice, squeezing tightly but without accelerating the movements of his wrist.

-I wanted to ask you if you would like to use your mouth on me, as I do with you.

She widened her eyes and looked down at him.

-Do you want me to use the tongue? To lick you?

She asked, unsure of what he meant. His member flickered and Jod moaned, nodding.

-Only if you want. Would you try? Please... I’d like it very much.

Fern knelt down two steps below the one he occupied and bent down, holding his penis still with her hand. She gave him one last look in the face. Jod looked at her with his lips parted, the pupils were dilated and Fern blushed, reading only desire on his face. She bowed her head, stuck out her tongue and gave a small lick on the tip, where the skin was wrinkled. He let out a strangled cry that ended with a long moan full of need. That slimy, salty liquid he released remained on her tongue. She grimaced, uncertain. He laughed at her expression and ran a hand wet with seawater over the tip.

-Try licking lower.

He suggested and she did. His skin was smooth and this time it was the taste of the sea that remained on her tongue. It was pleasant and she became more daring, using more tongue and licking it as she licked him on the neck.

-Hold on...

He said to her with a laboured voice and pushed down his foreskin, slowly, revealing that darker and bulbous part that was usually covered. She looked at his face, with a hesitant expression.

-You said you only do that when...

She swallowed, without finishing the sentence. He smiled embarrassedly.

-Yes, but your mouth...

He licked his lips and gave her a wild look.

-Your mouth feels a lot like it... It doesn’t taste bad, I swear.

He promised her, moaning desperately.

-Please Fern!

She obliged him, licking him where he wanted. Jod screamed, leaning forward and placing a hand on her shoulder.

-Please, please, please...!

He shouted. He didn't taste bad, just as he had assured her. She explored him with the tip of her tongue, every curve and ripple of the skin that was smooth and incredibly delicate.

-Your mouth, please, your mouth...!

He repeated and Fern withdrew.

-I don't understand Jod, what do you want me to do? I'm already licking you.

He was breathing heavily and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse, needy.

-Take it in your mouth, slide it on your tongue, Inside, take it inside!

She looked at him, puzzled: it was really big but she did as he asked, bending her neck and passing it past her lips, on her tongue, until it reached the palate.

Jod threw his head back and howled.

-By the Abyss! I should have told you beforehand... Fern...!

The hand on her shoulder squeezed almost painfully.

-Your lips, close them around me, caress me with your tongue. Like this! That's right...

He pushed his pelvis forward and Fern pulled back, moving away from him to prevent him from shoving his member too far down her throat. She barely had the top of him into her mouth and she already felt bursting, if she tried to take him deeper, she would have suffocated. She licked him for a few moments and he moaned, murmuring encouragement, but then she had to release him because her jaw was beginning to ache. He screamed.

-No, no, no, please, do it again... I'm so close...!

Fern put her hand on her aching jaw.

-It hurts...

She protested weakly. He covered her hand with his own and trembled as he breathed deeply.

-Lick me again, please...

With a look of relief, Fern complied and Jod took himself in his hand, jerking and whining. Suddenly, with a gasp, he pushed her away from him and a hot stream hit Fern on the cheek, making her emit a cry of surprise. Jod lay on the steps, his head thrown back, while Fern washed off his semen with the seawater.

When she met Jod's gaze, he gave her a huge languid and satisfied smile that Fern did not return. He sat up, frowning.

-What's wrong, love? You didn't like it?

He seemed desperate. Fern sighed, touching her cheek.

-It's annoying to stay all that time with my mouth wide open.

He pulled her close, making her sit on his lap and kissing her.

-I liked it very much. You were really fantastic, perfect...

She blushed.

-Do you really like it?

He laughed.

-Do you like it when I use my tongue on you? It's the same for me.

She looked at his face and tilted her head.

-What should you have told me before?

He frowned, confused.

-While I was putting it in my mouth...

She blushed violently.

-You said you should have told me beforehand something but you didn't finish the sentence.

He made an embarrassed expression.

-Sorry but when I'm aroused, I'm not coherent.

He scratched the back of his neck, grimacing.

-I should have told you many things beforehand. We have never talked about oral sex. As I do it to you, you can do it to me. As pleasant as it is for you, it is also pleasant for me. Maybe more.

His tone of voice became low and hoarse.

-Your mouth... it's like putting it inside your cunt. You're hot and wet though not quite as tight.

Fern's mouth opened wide in surprise and then blushed to the tips of her ears at the way he looked at her, how his gaze lowered from her eyes to her lips and then slipped down under the water and what it hidden. She squeezed her legs and rubbed her thighs, suddenly aroused.

-Therefore... If I take it ... in the mouth...

She stumbled over words, unsure of what terminology use.

-It's as if...

She pointed down with a finger. Jod raised an eyebrow.

-Almost. Nothing compares to making love. But with your mouth... It's really nice. Much more than with just your hand.

He sighed.

-If you agree, if you want to do it for me...

He hold her and hugged her tightly, then began to whisper in her ear, squeezing her breasts and caressing her nipple with his thumb.

-I can teach you to do it the way I like it... You can be still while I move, in and out of your mouth.

His hand lowered and explored her, finding her ready. Fern moaned, spreading her legs under the water and he caressed her flesh, slowly sticking a finger inside her.

-Or I can stand still and you can move, as you move your hand. The more you take into your mouth the more pleasurable it is for me. But it can become uncomfortable for you. My cock is longer than your mouth is deep. I could shove it down your throat but... It could be painful and I won't do it. Unless you want to. My favourite part though is when you suck and lick my tip, where I'm most sensitive. That's why I lowered my foreskin, because your mouth, your throat... it's like putting it in your cunt.

Fern moaned, trembling in his arms as he touched her. She spread her legs even wider, pushing towards his hand and finally Jod increased the pace, laughing softly against her throat, until she came with a gasp and a prolonged moan.

Jod kissed her for a long time as her heartbeat calmed down, caressing her softly outside. Fern rested her head on his chest and cleared her throat.

-So… you want me to use my mouth? Do you like it better if I use my mouth?

He nodded, kissing her forehead softly.

-Whenever you want. I prefer your mouth, your tongue, to your hand. But do it only if you want to. I don't want you to feel forced to do it just because I like it.

-You do it for me.

Fern said, frowning and stopping his hand, which was still moving inside her, grabbing him by the wrist.

-I do it to you because I like it, I love the taste of you, you are so good when you orgasm. Licking you turns me on like nothing else.

Jod admitted with a smile. Fern smiled too.

-I must admit that... when I took you in my mouth... I got turned on too.

He stamped a loud kiss on her cheek.

-I am really glad, love.

Then he relaxed on the step and Fern remained in his arms, enjoying the red sunset over the sea.

They returned to the bungalow and Jod sent her to take a shower while he prepared dinner. Fern felt guilty because she couldn't help him with that but Jod, laughing, told her that if she had learned to cook from her mother, he would rather avoid risking food poisoning.

-Mum is not so bad.

She had tried to protest but Jod had snorted.

-She would be able to burn water. The droid is the one that always cooks at your home.

Then he smiled at her.

-If you want, tomorrow we can cook together, so I can teach you.

They had eaten dinner from the same plate and then Jod had convinced her to bring a light blanket and some pillows on the patio, where they lay down to look at the sky, competing to see who recognized the most systems. Fern won, lying sideways while using Jod's stomach as a pillow.

-You have a good memory.

He complimented her while stroking her loose hair.

-I bet astronavigation is your favourite subject at school.

He fed her the strawberries that he had brought out in a bowl, while he had a glass of wine for himself that he sipped slowly.

-Can I have some, too?

Fern asked ironically, pointing to the amber liquid in Jod's glass. He raised his eyebrow.

-Do you want to try it?

She nodded and he handed his glass to her without saying anything. Fern brought it to her lips but scowled in disgust as the wine entered in contact with her tongue. She ate a sweet strawberry immediately after.

-How can you like that stuff? I thought it would be sweet instead it is...

-Dry.

Jod finished for her laughing and Fern nodded.

-I don't drink it because I like the taste. I do it for alcohol. You should not drink it at all.

He took the glass from her fingers.

-It messes up your brain.

-And doesn't it messes up yours?

Fern asked.

-Ah, you find me out! No, not in this amount, but my brain isn't growing and developing like yours does. Wait until you're fully grown before you get drunk – your neurons will thank you!

Then he pushed aside the wine and the almost empty bowl of strawberries and made her lie down on the blanket with a pillow under her head.

-I want to make come under the stars.

He whispered, starting to kiss her, then going down to her breasts and finally positioning himself between her legs, with her thighs on his shoulders, licking and touching her slowly, to make it last as long as possible.

For Fern it was special, she saw the stars with her eyes closed and also with her eyes open and afterwords she grabbed Jod by the hair and pulled him to her lips. He was careful to keep his pelvis away from her, but even so Fern felt him move, against her stomach, hard and hot.

She stroked him with her hand and then pushed Jod onto his back, kneeling beside him and bending down. Panting, Jod covered her hand with his own, showing her how to lower his foreskin without hurting him.

-How do you want me to do it?

Fern asked him, pushing her hair away from her face.

-I will try to stay still while you move.

He said to her in a low, hoarse voice.

-Imagine... Imagine that my cock is my finger and your mouth is your cunt. Do you think you can move like I did inside you? Remember to use your tongue and be careful with your teeth: I’m... delicate and your teeth scratch. Saliva! Saliva is important, I like you wet.

As she had done that afternoon, Fern placed his member on her tongue and then closed her mouth around him. Then she began to move, following hid advice, imitating the slow pace he had kept with her. It was difficult: the position was uncomfortable, she couldn't swallow and the muscles in her cheeks soon began to ache but she persisted because Jod had become incoherent, moaning and arching towards her. She couldn't hold back a smile, feeling powerful for how she had reduced him to begging. He tried to push himself into her mouth and she withdrew, controlling the depth of the thrusts without knowing that he was scratching the wood of the patio to restrain himself from grabbing her by the back of the neck and pushing, past the bottom of her mouth and into her throat.

-Fern! Fern...!

He screamed, pushing her away and then coming. Fern ran her tongue over her teeth, feeling a salty taste.

Jod twisted a lock of her loose hair around his finger and pulled her to him, kissing her long and deep.

-I love you.

He said to her with a languid smile, wiping himself with a flap of the blanket and making her lie down again on his chest. Fern draped herself over him, biting her lip and feeling vaguely guilty. He often said he loved her but she never said it back. She would have liked to reply with an ‘I love you too’ but she didn't know if it was the truth. She hugged him and put a leg between his, pressing herself against his side.

-Let's stay here a little longer, shall we?

He proposed to her.

-Then we go back inside and I'll pleasure you again. I can never get enough of you...

She nodded and looked at the stars again.

The following day unfolded in a very similar way. Jod woke her up, licking and touching her until she had an orgasm. They made breakfast together with Jod who taught her how to make coffee while Fern caressed him from behind, without letting him come. After breakfast she took him in her mouth, this time it was Jod who sat on the table, where Fern pushed him saying that it was his turn to feel like a meal that was about to be devoured. He didn't laugh at her joke but gasped, kissing her passionately.

They played in the shallow water, pleasured each other, ate and rested, touching and kissing each other all the time, and then they had dinner, between orgasms.

On the morning of their last day, Jod woke up first and stood looking at Fern's sleeping form, turned on her side. She was beautiful. Her long brown hair was tangled and fanned her on the sheets, covering her shoulders. Her skin had taken on a golden complexion and Jod smiled imagining her mother's reaction if she found out that Fern was tanned everywhere, all over her body. Licking his lips, he looked at her nipples and breasts that had stopped growing in recent months, becoming the perfect size for his hands. Now that she had started performing oral sex on him, he didn't want to go back to her hands. Sometimes he had to help her by jerking off because she got tired easily but he believed that with time she would increase her resistance.

He had woken up already hard and now he took himself in his hand, touching himself, imagining her mouth. Maybe she would even get used to taking him deeper but it wasn't something he prioritized at the moment.

He thought that, once he started fucking her mouth, the eagerness of fucking her would diminish and instead he wanted her even more than before. He frowned. She was not going to agree so quickly. He had to first get her used to his fingers and his cock in her mouth and then start to pique her curiosity with the idea of taking him somewhere else as well. He moved his hand faster at the idea of taking all the first times she had to give. The idea of being the first and only one for her, appealed to him more and more. He wanted her to be his for life, he wanted to be hers for life. He had been practicing abstinence for months: when he accompanied his crew with the Libertas he no longer went to the brothel, neither to Durko's nor to anyone else’s. He wanted Fern and no one else, the very idea of going with another woman, with another man, disgusted him. He had made her hand suffice, now her mouth and soon, very soon, his patience and the attention he had regarded her with would bear fruit and she would give herself to him, finally. The contraceptive implant was going to be the point of no return, he knew a planet where the age of majority was sixteen for humanoids. There, she would have no need for the consent of a guardian. But she had to ask him, he mustn’t be the one to offer it to her. Once the implant was inside her and making love was safe, he would take her to a beautiful place, a luxury hotel, a romantic place and fuck her for days. He couldn't wait for her to be of age for At Attin too and for her to finish school to move her to his house. He was tired of seeing her go away in the evenings and if it bothered him now, he dared not imagine how much it would irk him once they began to make love regularly. He would show her the galaxy and how ugly it was, give her more freedom once he was sure of her love for him. He was thinking of a nice planet to settle on while she would manage things on At Attin, ruling in his stead. She would go to him and he would go to her, seeing and meeting each other often and their relationship would work wonderfully.

Perhaps awakened by the noises of pleasure Jod was making, Fern moved and opened her eyes. Seeing what he was doing, she stretched, pushing her breasts in his direction. Jod reached out to grab one but she, with a mischievous smile, rolled out of his reach.

-I see you're doing great even without me.

She slid across the large bed, kneeling on the edge so that he could see her but not touch her. She brought one hand to her breast and then she touched herself with the other, moaning and pushing her finger inside slowly, tossing her head back.

-Please Fern, don't deny yourself  to me, I want to be the one to make you came...

He begged her. He lay down better on the mattress.

-Sit here.

He pointed to his sternum.

-I want to lick you, I want to feel you coming around my tongue.

Blushing, she complied, straddling his head, stooping down until she felt his breathing on her flesh and his nimble tongue lick her. She moaned, pushing rhythmically against his mouth. One of Jod's hands clutched her thigh and the other moved feverishly on himself. She came with a prolonged groan, rising on her knees and looking into his face. Jod was breathing with his mouth open, his chin was wet and his eyes wild.

-Please Fern, I need to came. Your mouth, take me in your mouth, I beg you.

She turned around and he let her go, pushing and turning her until she was positioned with her knees around his hips, her sex still within reach of his mouth and Jod's member right in front of her face. She took him in her hand and guided him in her mouth, licking as he liked and with a moan he grabbed her by the hips and raised his head, starting to lick her again. Jod's tongue distracted her, causing her to lose her rhythm and he began to move his pelvis, pushing in and out of her lips, sometimes giving a deeper thrust, slamming against the bottom of her mouth and causing unpleasant contractions in her throat. She felt her head spin, his penis moving in and out, and his tongue quickly pushing her towards another orgasm. She arrived, screaming around his member and Jod grabbed her by the hair at the base of her neck, pulling her away with a sudden gesture. Some of his seminal fluid ended up in her mouth, the rest hit her chin and neck and Fern spat out, wiping her face with the back of her hand. He made her lie down on the bed and bent over her.

-Forgive me, love.

He helped her clean herself with the sheet.

-It was sudden, I couldn't warn you.

She grimaced, by now she was getting used to the taste but she didn't like to feel it in her mouth.

-Never mind.

She appeased him, before relaxing. He kissed her and laid by her side.

-Did you like this position?

He asked her, untangling her hair with his fingers. She nodded with a smile and he kissed her forehead.

-You arrived twice in a row, it was wonderful.

He sighed.

-Do you know what I was thinking while I was masturbating and watching you sleep? How much I will miss all this when we’ll go back home. I can't wait for you to be of age, love, so that you can move to my home. I can't wait to live together, you and I, and have this every day, wake up every morning like this, with you in my bed.

She looked into his face, Jod's expression was dreamy.

-Do you like to plan ahead?

She asked him in a curious voice. He hadn't even considered the idea that she wouldn't agree. Jod shrugged.

-I'm eager to spend more time with you.

-You didn't even ask me if I want to live with you.

She pointed out to him and he stiffened as the smile on his face faded. Fern burst out laughing.

-Of course I do! Don't make that face.

She sighed as Jod relaxed.

-I've thought about it, you know? About what you told me before leaving, when you asked me if I wanted to be your girl and not just when no one knows us.

She took a deep breath.

-I do.

She said in a feeble voice.

-I'll be your girl and you... You'll be mine, right?

The tone was uncertain and Jod hurriedly reassured her.

-Fern... I love you. There's no one else I want by my side. I am yours, all yours, only yours.

Trembling with nervousness, Fern kissed him on the lips and then whispered the words Jod dreamed of hearing from her.

-I love you, Jod.

He held her tightly to him.

-Fern... You made me the happiest man in the galaxy! You won't regret loving me, you'll see! I'll take care of you, I'll make you happy, we'll be happy together!

The last day on the island was special for Fern. Jod did not stop smiling at her, caressing her, making her happy. Their every gesture seemed imbued with a magical aura after her confession and she wished that day would never end.

After those days spent wearing nothing, it was strange to put their clothes back on, as if every layer of cloth that divided their bodies was a barrier of responsibility. They weighed as much as the expectations that everyone, at home, had on them. On the transport that brought them back to Onyx Cinder, Fern grimly wondered how she would pretend not to feel love for Jod, once they returned to At Attin. How can she continue the charade that he forced her into his bed and hurt her. The opinion of others, which until recently had seemed important to her, was suddenly irrelevant and the fact that she had allowed herself to be influenced was ridiculous. What could it matter what her classmates thought? She was in love with Jod and wanted everyone to know it, that he was not a monster who hurt her but a kind and caring man who treated her well and who put her happiness before anything else.

-What are you thinking about, my love?

Jod asked, brushing her forehead with his fingers.

-About going back. I had a good time, here with you.

Jod smiled, beaming.

-An experience to be repeated, then.

She nodded, returning his smile.

Fern didn't go back to school right away, taking an extra day off before facing her classmates again. KB decided to go visit her in the afternoon, worried about her absence, but Fern greeted her at the door, smiling happily. Once they were alone in her bedroom, KB looked at her frowning.

-Fern... I see you... well. Tanned.

Fern chuckled.

-I'm fine.

She confirmed in a dreamy voice. KB, not at all reassured, took her hands.

-Did Jod behave well?

She asked, more and more confused.

-Oh, KB!

Her friend exclaimed, freeing herself from her grasp and covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes dancing with joy.

-It was wonderful.

KB felt a sinking feeling in her stomach but tried not to let Fern see how little reassured she was by her happiness.

-Tell me everything.

She asked her with a hesitant smile.

-We didn’t... you know.

Fern took a trembling breath.

-We didn't make love, if that's what you think.

KB breathed a sigh of relief.

-But we did... other things. Oh, KB I don't know how to explain it!

She bit her lip, blushing.

-It was an uninhabited island, there was only us. We... we were naked the whole time. He... It's very nice what he does to me. Very pleasant. He’s… kind to me.

KB forced herself to keep smiling, sticking her nails in the palm of her clenched fists.

-And no one said anything, about the fact that he is a grown man and you a little girl?

Fern darkened.

-I'm fifteen years old, KB!

She reminded her.

-I'm not a little girl anymore. No: no one said anything. Jod took care of everything.

She swallowed, trying not to get angry with her best friend.

-You make it looks like.... As if he is interested in me only because I am young, as if he was a pervert with sick tastes! But this is not the case. He said he loves me, that he wants us to be together, that... he can't wait for me to grow up to live together. He is not...

A tear of frustration ran down her cheek.

-Why can't you be happy for me? It's as if you want him to hurt me, as if you want me to be afraid of him and to suffer!

KB let out a sound of horror.

-No Fern! I don't want you to suffer! I... I'm glad he's not violent with you! But... try to understand... it's all so suspicious! He fixated on you and insisted until you gave in. He's nice and kind and says he loves you but... What will you do if he's lying to you? If he's doing all this just because he wants you to sleep with him? If all the wonderful promises he's making to you turn out to be lies, you'd be heartbroken and I... I don't want you to suffer like this! I'm afraid for you!

Fern was appeased by her friend's explanation.

-You are my friend KB and you want only the best for me. Thank you for this, I'm lucky to have a friend like you, I know. I’m sorry if I accused you of wanting to see me hurt. But... I'm happy with Jod and I wish you, at least, were happy for me.

KB shook her head.

-I want you to be happy Fern, really... But you don't see what he's doing to you the way I do. He... He stole your childhood!

KB took a deep breath, running a hand over her eyes.

-While you were away with Jod doing things I don't even want to think about, I had my first kiss...

KB said in a shy voice. Fern gasped.

-Who...?

KB's expression became dreamy and a slight flush spread over her usually pale cheeks. It was an expression that Fern had never seen on her face

-Wim.

She whispered with a smile.

-Wim?!?

Fern exclaimed, incredulous. Her friend nodded firmly.

-Yes, Wim. After the accident that happened to me, with the Onyx Cinder, we spent a lot of time together. He needed to talk to someone and I was stuck in bed and needed company.

Fern looked down and felt ashamed. She had spent little time with her friend in those days: she always went to visit her but then spent the rest of the afternoon with Jod.

-Even after my convalescence we kept on seeing each other.

KB sighed.

-What happened to him, what Jod did to us... Wim... he had lost faith in others. You know what it was like: always talking about the Jedi, always dreaming of fantastic adventures. Jod shattered his dreams and maybe they were ridiculous dreams, you remember how we used to laugh at him, but they were his dreams and he had the right to put them aside, growing up, without anyone taking them away from him.

The two friends remained silent without being able to meet each other's gaze. Then Fern cleared her throat.

-So... you and Wim.

The dreamy look returned to KB’s face.

-We spend a lot of time together. At first I helped him with calculation: Wim had fallen behind and struggled to keep up with his classmates. He is intelligent but has no interest in mathematics and therefore did not apply himself. Then we started chatting and wondering around. We took long walks and went on bike rides. He's really cute.

-And did you kiss?

Fern pressed her, leaning slightly towards her. KB nodded, blushing again.

-Yes. Well... I kissed him.

She laughed.

-If I’d wait for him... I took the initiative and I made the right choice. It was strange, but beautiful. Magical.

Fern felt a pang of envy for her friend. There had been nothing magical about her first kiss, only fear and disgust. With a sudden sinking feeling in her chest, she realized what KB meant when she said Jod had robbed her.

-So… now you are together?

KB nodded.

-Officially?

KB laughed.

-Yes. He picks me up in the morning and we go to school together. We hold hands and after school he takes me home.

Fern gave a hesitant smile.

-Are you happy?

Her friend nodded enthusiastically.

-Then I'm happy too.

She hugged her and KB reciprocated.

To Jod's frustration, his relationship with Fern suffered a setback upon their return to At Attin. It seemed that she had suddenly rediscovered all the shyness that had characterized her at the beginning. He saw her less and she seemed to be looking for excuses to minimize the times they went upstairs and into the bedroom. On the other hand, she had become more expansive with kisses and hugs, as if she was focusing on the emotional aspect of their relationship, to the detriment of the physical one. The result was that Jod was sexually frustrated but it was less burdensome than he had expected.

It was nice just to sit on the couch with her pressed against her side, talking and kissing. It usually ended with him trying to touch her under her clothes since Fern didn't want to go to the bedroom or undress, but most of the time she distracted him by touching him and kneeling between his legs. Jod couldn't understand why she was keeping him at arm’s length. He let her have her way for a few weeks but then confronted her: he didn't like this new development in their relationship and wanted to understand the reason for her change.

-Is there something wrong, love?

He asked her one afternoon. They were lying on the sofa, she was resting on his chest after kissing for a long time and Jod was caressing her hair. Fern lifted the head and looked at him, with a questioning expression.

-What you mean?

He caressed her cheek.

-I feel... I feel like you're moving away from me. You've changed since our return. I thought...

Jod frowned.

-I thought things were going well, between us. I thought you liked the things we had done on the island, when we were alone. But then we came back and suddenly you don't want to do them anymore. Did I do something wrong? You feel like you've been forced to do something you didn't want to do?

Fern looked away and stood up, propping herself up with an elbow on his chest.

-No, you didn't do anything. It's not your fault I...

She froze and then made a face.

-I'm sorry Jod but in a way it's your fault.

Jod stiffened under her. He sat up, making her sit too. Jod was alarmed but then Fern did something that reassured him, at least partially. She straddled his lap and kissed him, digging her fingers into his hair. Jod was initially distracted by the kiss.

-What did I do, Fern?

She stepped out of his lap, sitting down by his side.

-It's something you've done in the past, something I hadn't thought about for a long time but now...

She looked away.

-Something made me think.

She looked at his face with a frowning expression.

-Do you remember our first kiss?

Jod blinked, dumbfounded.

-Our first kiss?

He repeated, before his expression closed off and he put his hand over his mouth.

-I was a different man, Fern!

He replied in a hoarse and wounded voice.

-I didn't love you as I love you now! It's in the past, I thought you... Are you mad at me now for something that happened years ago?

She couldn't meet his gaze.

-It sounds stupid but... I realized that now my classmates are starting to have their first kisses, their first relationships and while they...

Fern's tone of voice grew angry.

-While they are falling in love and giving their first kiss I am getting used to sucking your cock!

Jod jolted in surprised. While he, in the throes of passion, often used more vulgar language than usual, he had noticed that Fern always used euphemisms and blushed. The fact that she had now used that word made him realize how serious the situation was.

-Fern... I... I don't understand. I swear I don’t. Do you still love me?

She let out a frustrated cry.

-Yes, Jod. I love you, this hasn't changed, I don't think it will ever change but... I feel like we moved too fast, like you've rushed me.

Jod couldn't hold back a grimace of guilt and this time it was he who looked away.

-Jod?

He sighed.

-Now I understand, Fern.

He ran a hand over his eyes.

-I'm sorry, love.

How could he tell her that she was absolutely right? He had rushed her, because he wanted her and she had been too young and too innocent for what he had wanted to do with her. Even now he was rushing her because he couldn't wait to make love to her and she was not yet ready and that moment, so desired by him, instead of getting closer seemed to move further and further away.

-You're right, of course. I... I behaved badly with you. I had to be more delicate, more patient. I’m... I’m a thief. You know I am. I'm greedy. I love you and I'm impatient. I'm sorry if this has hurt you in the past.

He thought his confession would make her angry but instead she threw herself into his arms.

-The past is past Jod. Forgive me if I'm digging it up. You're right: you're a different man now.

She kissed him passionately.

-Now you are patient with me, you are delicate. You're kind and you're not pressuring me. I love you too, Jod.

As if to contradict her, he held her tightly and kissed her eagerly. Just kissing her aroused him and when she noticed it, she straddled him and pushed herself against his member, moaning against his lips.

-Please Fern... I need you so much. You've been denying yourself to me for weeks... Come to my room, let me undress you, let me give you pleasure.

-I need you too. Let's go.

Fern stepped out of his lap and took him by the hand, leading him into the bedroom. On the threshold he scooped her up in his arms and placed her on the sheets, tenderly. He slowly undressed her, kissing her often, and Fern opened his shirt and unbuttoned his pants.

-Together, I want us to do it together.

She whispered to him, pulling him to the bed.

-Like that morning on the island. Lay on your back.

Trembling with excitement, Jod lay on his back and Fern lay sideways on top of him. He spread her open with his fingers and began to lick before she even had time to take him in her mouth. Fern moaned and pressed herself against him, then grabbed his penis and guided it between her lips, caressing it with her tongue. He had missed Fern dreadfully, her taste, the way he trembled when he licked her and her warm and welcoming mouth. He began to move his hips, push himself between her lips, small shallow movements which gave him a lot of pleasure. She relaxed her throat, by now she was getting used to it and had learned to use her tongue to block him and prevent him from hitting the back of her throat, where it caused her discomfort.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her away just before he came with a hoarse scream. Fern moaned, rubbing against his chest, still unsatisfied. Jod made her lie on her back and kissed her, taking his time, licking and sucking her nipples and slowly making his way down her body.

-Please!

She sobbed, trying to push his head between his legs, but Jod resisted her, murmuring to her to be patient. It was his little revenge for how she had denied herself in recent times. When he finally got between her thighs, he continued to exercise the same restrain, using his tongue to bring her closer to orgasm and then stopping, starting all over again.

-Please, please...! Make me came, Jod!

She begged him at last, sweaty and trembling. He caressed her with his fingers.

-Do you really want it?

He asked her with a smile.

-Yes, please...

She moaned.

-And how much do you want it?

-Stop tormenting me! Either you let get me off or you move so I can do it by myself!

With a growl he started licking her again and when she tensed, on the verge of orgasm, he inserted two fingers inside her. Fern came with a scream, lifting her back off the mattress and he moved his fingers slowly, in and out of her, taking advantage of the pleasure she was feeling to try to loosen her a little, knowing that if he tried at another time, she would probably protest that it hurt.

When her tremors had subsided, he slowly withdrew his fingers and she let out a hiss of pain. He sucked with a moan of pleasure the fingers that had been inside her and then licked her again. She sank her fingers into his hair, breathing hard.

-Jod...

Sighed.

-Enough... Let me rest for a moment.

He kissed her inner thigh and caressed her softly with his thumb. She sat up and took his wrist.

-Seriously, Jod. It hurts a bit... What did you do before? It still burns.

-I used two fingers, love.

He stopped touching her and climbed onto the bed with her, lying on his back and pulling her to his chest.

-Sorry if I hurt you, I didn't think you would feel pain. You were very wet and I slipped in without any problems.

He kissed her forehead and caressed her back.

-Was it intense? Did you enjoy the orgasm I gave you?

He whispered through her hair, stroking her bare skin. She trembled.

-Yes, a lot. But it hurt me afterwards. Why two, Jod?

Jod kissed her while he took time to decide how to answer. He couldn't tell her that he wanted to prepare her for him, to make love, that he wanted her desperately and that when the time finally came, he wanted her to scream with pleasure and not with pain.

-I just want to give your pleasure, you know. Don't you trust me? You can take up to three fingers, without any problems.

Jod's voice became hoarse.

-But three is only for special occasions. Two is just the right amount.

Fern remained silent. She had to admit that up to that point Jod's predictions had turned out to be correct and she had liked the things he had proposed to her. He had been right about using his tongue and then when he started using his fingers. Of course, when he had begun to put a finger inside her it was the first time he had hurt her even if hurt was perhaps too big of a word. Afterwards, it was sometimes annoying and it burned a bit, but it hadn't happened for some time. Now it had probably been painful only because she wasn't used to it. She hugged him.

-All right. I trust you. After all, it didn’t hurt while you touched me.

-I am honoured that you trust me... You will see: you will not regret it.

From that day, Fern stopped putting distance between them and things went back to the way they were before, at least for a few months. One day Fern, while they were resting in bed, told him something he would rather not have heard.

-We have to stop seeing each other so often, Jod.

The man stiffened and looked into her face, alarmed. She was frowning and looked aggrieved.

-Why? What's wrong?

Fern sighed and covered her face with one arm.

-Yesterday I was summoned to the principal's office. My grades are going down.

It had been a humiliating conversation. The principal had been embarrassed, telling her that they had been sympathetic to her, given her "situation" with supervisor Silvo but that they could no longer continue to look the other way as her grades plummeted.

-This year there will be the final evaluation, the one that will allow me to access the internship I want, to get the job I will do as an adult. I want to get into administration, like my mother.

Fern laughed softly.

-It's funny: before leaving At Attin I hated how my mother had already decided my life, the studies I would do, the job I would do. She always told me that I had to be the best because there is little room at the top. She wanted me to take her place when she retired. Now, however, I want that place, that future. I don't want to become a small cog in the mechanism, I want to direct it. I want to be able to improve the lives of my fellow citizens and I can't do it from a cubicle in a big office. Do you understand?

-Fern...

Jod's tone of voice was hesitant.

-Do you know that you don't need anyone's positive evaluation? I am the one who assigns the internships!

It was a thankless task that he did once a year. To avoid favouritism, the assignments of internships, based on the evaluation of the final tests and the preferences the students had expressed, were traditionally made by the supervisor who, being a droid, was neutral. The tradition had continued with Jod who, being an outsider, was considered impartial. Every year Jod spent long and boring days leafing through dossiers of good-meaning kids and deciding about their future.

-Whatever you want to become, I will grant it to you!

Fern made a disgruntled expression.

-No.

Her voice was peremptory.

-I know that you are the one who assigns the internships, I know that you can get me the place I want. It's the same thing with my mother, the same!

Now Fern was annoyed.

-It didn't matter how many times I skipped school, didn't do my homework or did poorly in tests! No one said anything to me because my mother was the undersecretary. That's why I had lost interest in school! You won't favour me in any way, have I been clear?

She looked him in the eyes, frowning.

-I want to earn my place, I don't want people to say I got it because I sleep with you. I need time to study and catch up. It won't be too difficult: school is easy if I apply myself. KB is organizing a study and revision plan for me. We will do it together, at least for the exams we have in common. But, as I said, it will take time.

-How much time are we talking about, Fern?

Jod asked with a whine.

-The final exams will take place in the month of my birthday. It will be hard, I know, but I want to do it. I have to bring my grades back to the top of my class. I will study every afternoon after school.

Jod gasped: they were the afternoons they spent together.

-We will not see each other again...

He whispered, feeling his heart sink. But before he could protest, Fern contradicted him.

-I can't stop training, neither in bare-handed combat nor with a blaster. If it’s okay with you, I will come to your house, at least a couple of hours a week, and in the evening, before dinner, we could meet at the shooting range.

After the bad experience in the woods, Jod had a shooting range built, officially for his crew but actually to give Fern a safe environment to continue training.

-And...

Fern pressed her naked body against him, stroking his chest with one hand and descending, grabbing him firmly, feeling him getting hard.

-I would miss you too... I thought I could come to you on the last day of school, after studying with KB and spend the night and my day off here. With you. All night and all the next day.

At the thought of being able to sleep with her in his arms, wake up with her in his bed and have her all to himself for a whole day, Jod wetted his lips.

-Your proposal is worthy of consideration...

He whispered, and Fern burst out laughing.

-You like my idea, don't you?

Jod sighed before closing his eyes and moving his pelvis, meeting her thrusts.

-Ask me later, now I want your mouth, please Fern...

She kissed him on the lips, licked his nipples and finally took him in her mouth and licked and sucked him until Jod came with a scream. Then he knelt near the edge of the bed and grabbed her by the legs, placing them on his shoulders and give her pleasure with his tongue and fingers.

They stopped seeing each other every day, Fern's grades got back to be the best of her class once more, and Jod was able to hold her in his arms one night a week.

It was in those days and nights that Jod had Fern to himself, without interruption and without time limits, that he decided to try something new, in bed, in the hope of piquing her curiosity and leading her to ask him to finally have a full intercourse.

After dinner, instead of joining her in bed, he stopped near the doorway, undressing, so that, when she turned to see what was holding him back, he was already naked and aroused. He gave her a smile full of lust and slowly knelt down. She raised an eyebrow: it had been a long time since she had asked him to walk on all fours to obtain her favours. She sat down on the edge of the bed, still half-dressed, and bent her head to the side, curious.

Jod did not look like a suppliant but a predator approaching the prey and she shivered.

-What do you want, Jod?

She asked him, when he was close to her and kissed her side, just above the edge of her pants.

-Keep undressing, love.

He replied, crouching between her open legs. Fern did as he asked, feeling excited and full of desire. Instead of using his mouth, Jod pulled himself up, hugging her waist and sucking on her nipples. Fern groaned, tossing her head back.

-Do you trust me, my love?

He whispered against her breasts and Fern nodded.

-I want to hear you say it, Fern. Do you trust me?

-Yes!

She replied in a choked voice, pushing herself against him in search of relief, feeling wet and throbbing.

-Do you believe me when I say I don't want to hurt you?

-Yes...?

This time Fern's voice was less sure.

-You are not protected, love... I won't put it in, I swear. Trust me.

He made her lie down on the bed, turned her on her side and lay down behind her. He made her lift one leg and put it on top of his own, then touched her sex, caressing her and using first one finger and then two. Fern groaned, pushing herself toward his hand. They had never been in that position before, she didn't know what to do with her hands and she felt completely at his mercy. Jod kissed her shoulder and then her neck, as he hadn't done for a long time but the surprise of feeling his mouth and tongue between her shoulder and ear was soon overwhelmed by the sensation of his member, pushing between her legs, in direct contact with the most intimate of her parts. She made a sound of surprise and stiffened slightly.

-Hush love. Remember: I won’t do anything, trust me.

Jod took himself in hand and Fern screamed but with pleasure when he caressed her with the tip of his member as he had only caressed her with his tongue and fingers. Then he leaned along her his entire length, lowered her leg and began to push himself rhythmically, forward and backward. Moaning, Fern looked down. With each thrust she saw him emerging between the joint of her legs. It was exciting and knowing what was pressed against her, what was creating that wonderful friction, made her reach completion. It took Jod only a few more pushes before he followed her, with a low, prolonged moan. His come spread over the sheets and on the inside of her thighs. Jod kissed her shoulder, neck, and cheek as they both caught their breath. Then he caressed her breasts and side.

-Are you all right, love?

Fern turned in his arms and kissed him passionately.

-Yes.

He smiled at her.

-Did you like it?

She nodded, satisfied.

-Can I do it again? You're not afraid of me taking advantage, are you? Because I won't!

She agreed and Jod began to put her in that position often, sometimes even lying in front of her and not behind, pressing against her and pushing against her closed legs. It was pleasing even if Fern preferred to have his fingers inside. It was like making love and she realized that it was what Jod was thinking of, when he brought their sexes so close. She imagined what it would be like to really make love to him, to let him put his member inside her. She thought about it more and more often and one morning she broached the subject.

-I think I’m ready, you know? To go all the way.

He, who was stroking her hair dreamily, froze and widened his eyes.

-Really? Are you sure, love?

Fern nodded, blushing, and Jod smiled at her, beaming.

-Would you agree to a contraceptive implant?

She nodded but soon after frowned, shuddering.

-Not here though. I don't want to go to the clinic here on At Attin. Within two days everyone would know about it!

He kissed her on the lips.

-Not here. Your mother would never give her consent. But I know a place... As long as you are sixteen years old no one will say a thing. After the final exams, before the assignments of the internships, we will make another trip, you and I. We will be away for at least a week.

He kissed her again, more passionately.

-A beautiful place, just for us.

He concluded in a hoarse voice.

Fern trembled, a little awed at the prospect of what she was about to do but she nodded, burying her face in his chest and hugging him tightly.

In the following days she was so nervous and with her mind elsewhere that, during an afternoon of study, KB took from her hands the datapad she was staring at without really seeing.

-Fern, can you tell me what’s on your mind this week? What are you thinking about? Because it’s certainly not the statistic exercises.

Fern blushed to the roots of her hair and her friend took on a painful expression.

-It's Jod, isn't it? Would you like to tell me about it?

Fern fidgeted where she was sitting, cross-legged on KB's bed.

-Yes, it's Jod. I...

She took a deep breath and then confessed everything, looking down because she knew KB would disapprove.

-I have decided that I feel ready. You know...

She waved her hand, feeling hot with embarrassment.

-I decided to make love to him.

KB turned purple and pursed her lips but then, instead of exploding, she lowered her shoulders in a defeated stance.

-Are you sure, Fern?

She asked her in a distraught voice. Her friend nodded.

-Not immediately, after the end of the exams.

-Fantastic!

KB exclaimed acidly.

-He has decided to let you turn at least sixteen! How nice of him!

-KB!

Fern scolded her.

-I asked him and he decided to wait! If it had been up to me, we would have already done it! But he's worried because I'm not protected!

Fern's face became even redder, if possible.

-He doesn't want me to risk a pregnancy.

KB blanched and put a hand to her eyes, murmuring disconsolately.

-He worries about me!

Fern concluded decisively.

-Okay Fern. If that's what you want. It's important to me that you're the one who wants it and that you’re not doing it just because it's something he wants.

-I want it.

Fern confirmed in a confident voice. KB sighed.

-I hope that you have always been right, all this time, and that he does not hurt you in the long run.

The two friends hugged each other and then started studying again for the increasingly imminent exams.

Chapter Text

VIII.

The days of the tests were the most tiring of Fern's young life. Each day was dedicated to a subject of study and Fern and KB, perfectionists that they were, spent the previous days revising non-stop, even though they had already an almost perfect knowledge of the subjects. Fern was so focused that not only did she not think about Jod anymore, but she didn't spend even an hour in his company during the whole week. After finishing her last test, Fern dragged herself home and threw herself into bed, skipping dinner and sleeping until the next morning.

When she woke up, she stretched, watched the morning light come in through the window of her room and smiled, beaming with joy. School was over, no more studying and no more exams. A laugh and a cry of exultation escaped her.

She went down to the kitchen, full of energy and hunger, and had a hearty breakfast, humming and almost dancing through the kitchen. In the middle of the morning, she went to KB's house to celebrate together. They spent the rest of the morning together, eating lunch with KB's mothers who had taken a day off to celebrate with their daughter, something Fern's mother had not been able to do due to the demands of her position. Fern would have been upset about it once upon a time but, now that she was older, she better understood the responsibilities that weighed on her mother and the fact that the role she held, while prestigious, was a burden rather than a privilege.

After lunch she said goodbye to her friend and went to Jod's.

Upon arriving at his house, she became a bundle of nerves. Jod greeted her with a warm smile and a tender kiss on the lips.

-Hi Jod.

She told him, a little awkwardly. He raised an eyebrow with a questioning expression.

-Hello love. Yesterday you finished your tests, are you happy?

She nodded and Jod took her in his arms.

-Are you ready to leave with me? Have you packed a bag?

She stiffened and Jod saw the anxiety in her expression. He kissed her again, leading her into the living room and onto the couch, hugging and kissing her for a long time until she relaxed in his arms.

-I missed you, these days...

He whispered to her as his caresses became bolder. She pressed herself against him.

-Shall we go to my room, love?

Fern nodded and he took her by the hand. There was a certain nervousness in her but Jod managed to replace it with desire, stripping and caressing her, kissing and licking until she had an orgasm. He stayed between her legs, using his tongue to keep on pleasuring her and only when she had come again did he undress as well and rubbed himself between her closed thighs, using her orgasms as lubricant to glide over her skin, coming with a long moan at the thought of coming inside her.

Finally she was relaxed, lying on his chest, and Jod kissed her head and stroked her back and hair.

-Well?

He pressed her.

-Are you ready to leave with me?

She clung to his chest and didn't meet his eyes and Jod stiffened slightly, fearing she'd changed her mind.

-I'm ready, Jod.

She sighed.

-But I still have to tell my mother.

She groaned in frustration.

-Last year we had a furious fight and when we got back she was still angry with me. Now she is so happy because she saw me studying, I didn't know how to tell her, I didn't want to make her angry...

Jod relaxed, hearing that the problem was her mother and not him.

-If you want, I'll talk to her, love. If the order comes from me, she certainly can't say no.

Fern snorted and finally met his gaze.

-No, I'll tell her. She's my mother, I am the one who has to do it.

Then she fell silent and her expression became nervous again.

-Fern? Is something wrong, love?

She sighed and blushed.

-I’m... nervous. About what we will do. A little scared.

Jod held her close and tried to comfort her.

-It is normal to be nervous and even a little scared. But you have to trust me, Fern. I won't hurt you, you'll see. I will only give you pleasure.

Then he took a deep breath and made a promise he wasn't quite sure he would be able to keep.

-If you are not sure, if while we are making love you change your mind or you want me to stop, tell me and I will. Don't be afraid, my love. We will only do what you feel like doing. Do you remember the days we spent at the beach?

Fern smiled at him, her face lit up with joy at the memory of the days they spent together on the island.

-It was wonderful, wasn’t it? We can just do what we did then and nothing else.

She immediately calmed down at his proposal, climbing astride him and pushing herself down until she felt him pressed against her buttocks. She stopped, bringing her arm back and taking him in her hand, feeling his member become stiff again and pressed it against the skin of her back, moving so that it rubbed against her. Jod moaned and his face filled with desire.

-I love you and I trust you. You won't hurt me. I want to make love to you.

Jod grabbed her by the waist and pushed her against the mattress, caressing her, and when she began to moan, he put one finger and then two into her, moving them rhythmically, slowly bringing her to another orgasm.

-You will like it, love, you’ll see. I will take good care of you.

Fern waited until the next morning to tell her mother that she was leaving with Jod, preferring to spend a happy evening of celebration with her. They argued, of course, but at sixteen Fern considered herself almost an adult and couldn't stand the way her mother tried to direct her life and protect her from things that Fern wanted.

She didn't tell her of course that she planned to give herself to Jod, KB was the only one who knew about it, but her mother was angry and scared during their argument and it was clear that it was something she feared her daughter would do.

She packed a light bag with few things and clothes for five days and went to Jod's.

Full of enthusiasm, Jod took her to the Libertas and the Onyx Cinder, taking altitude and entering the coordinates of their destination.

-Well? What’s the plan this time?

Fern asked him. He pulled her into his lap, into the pilot's chair.

-First the clinic I booked for you. It's less than a day from here, we'll get there within ten hours. Then... Do you remember Lanupa?

Fern raised an eyebrow, before smiling at him, full of expectation.

-Will you take me to Lanupa? Really?

Jod shook his head.

-Not Lanupa, but a similar place.

He put his hand on her leg, caressing her inner thigh.

-Hot springs, a luxury hotel. A market to explore, open-air theatres and restaurants.

He sighed.

-So, if you don't feel like spending all day and night in bed with me, we can explore the place and still have a nice holiday together, simply like a man and his woman.

Fern kissed him.

-What if I want to spend all day and all night in bed with you? For the duration of our holiday?

She asked him in a hoarse voice.

-The hotel room has a very large bedroom...

He replied in a low tone, full of desire.

-And it has a very comfortable bed. We can see the market and entertainments another time. We have our whole lives ahead of us to go where we want, together. There are so many places I want to show you... But this week I would like it to be for us, for you, to make love to you and give you all the attention and the care you deserve. You are beautiful, wonderful and special and I love you. I want these to be special days for you, I want to give you so much pleasure that you will never forget them.

Fern rubbed her legs and fidgeted on his knees, pushing herself against his hardened member.

-Why not start now? We have ten hours before we arrive at our destination, right?

Jod led her to the cabin closest to the cockpit, which he had cleaned and arranged in anticipation of her stay on the ship, and he spent the next few hours complying with her request.

Fern thought that the nervousness would come back once Jod took her to the clinic, but as she waited for her turn in the anteroom, she found herself determined and calm, confident in her decision. When her name was called, Jod got up with her to enter the doctor's office but the doctor, a Cerean, stopped him.

-Unless you are a family member or a legal guardian, you will have to wait here.

Fern motioned for him to wait for her and Jod sat down again, frowning and snorting.

The doctor led her to her office and motioned her to take a seat, taking the datapad in her hand and starting to ask her questions about her health, the diseases she had suffered from and the immunizations she had had.

-In order to proceed with the procedure, I need a self-declaration on the fact that you are at least sixteen years old and therefore you do not need the written authorization of a legal guardian. What is your date of birth?

Fern wrinkled her nose, puzzled.

-My date of birth? This could be a problem. The planet I come from has remained out of the influence of the Empire and away from wars. We still use the Old Republic calendar.

The doctor looked up from the form she was filling out, amazed.

-We have had problems in the past: many still use the imperial calendar and struggle to convert it with the date of the New Republic. What planet are you from...

The Cerean looked down to read her name.

-… Fern, daughter of Fara?

-I come from At Achran. On my planet we are too busy fighting each other to pay attention to what is happening outside.

Fern replied in a flat tone.

-Children are also enrolled. I am a very good shooter. Near or afar, I always hit my target.

The doctor grimaced disconsolately.

-No longer a child then, for quite some time. Tell me your date of birth according to the calendar of the Old Republic.

Fern did so, and she quickly converted the date.

-You turned sixteen a few days ago...

She placed the datapad on the desk and crossed her fingers over it, staring at her with some gravity.

-Do you know why I asked you to come in alone?

Fern shook her head.

-The man who is with you, he was the one who booked this appointment, right? He hadn't filled out the form completely, that’s why I asked you all those questions at the beginning. I asked you to come in alone because I wanted to make sure that the birth control implant was your idea, Fern daughter of Fara.

The girl nodded firmly.

-I asked him to take this appointment. It's my choice.

The Cerean woman pursed her lips.

-Are you sexually active?

Fern turned red in the face but maintained eye contact.

-No. That's why I want the implant. Because I want to be but my partner... He doesn't want to risk a pregnancy.

-Fine.

The doctor said.

-If it’s so, we can proceed. Lie down on that bed and lift your shirt, revealing your abdomen.

Fern did as she was asked and the doctor disinfected the lower part of her abdomen, placed a syringe and with a sudden movement gave her an injection. Fen jumped, feeling a slight discomfort.

-You will have to wait at least a full day for the implant to be fully operational. Refrain from having full sexual intercourse during this time, afterwards you will be completely covered. If you have any discomfort or pain of any kind, go to a hospital immediately and get checked. There is a virtually a zero percentage of women who reject the implant but it is my duty to warn you that there is this possibility. Don't pretend everything is alright if it’s not and get checked. Don't risk an infection, believe me: it would be much worse.

Fern nodded, pulling down her shirt and going back to her seat. She stared at the doctor and the doctor stared at her.

-That's it? Can I go?

The Cerean doctor smiled.

-That's all, you can go.

She confirmed.

-And... Fern, daughter of Fara?

She winked at her.

-Have fun with your man.

Fern smiled back at her.

-You can count on it!

She reunited with Jod who was waiting for her impatiently outside and kissed him with a satisfied smile.

-Came on, let's go!

She told him cheerfully. Jod took her back to the Onyx Cinder and they left for their final destination.

The planet where Jod took her was surrounded by many multicoloured moons and the Onyx Cinder had to wait to be ferried to the surface. Iego's atmosphere, toxic to most species in the galaxy, gave the planet a purplish hue, making it appear from space as an amethyst mottled with green.

The tourist complex where they landed, located on the main continent, was covered entirely with a dome that allowed visitors to breathe and move freely.

When they got off at the spaceport, Fern looked around. The temperature was perfect and the sky through the dome was purple. Even during the day, the planet's many moons were clearly visible.

Jod wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple.

-Come, love.

They walked to the hotel he had booked, crossing a multi-ethnic and variegated market, crowded with people from all the galaxy. On the contrary, the hotel lobby was spacious and empty. The recycled air was fresh and everything around them spoke of wealth. Jod and Fern seemed, again, out of place but when Jod gave his name, a made-up name that Fern didn't recognize, the employees suddenly became diligent and anxious to make them feel comfortable. They were offered welcome drinks, which Jod refused for both of them asking instead that they be served meals in their rooms, and then they were taken to the suite that Jod had booked for five days.

Their luggage was left near the front door, in the foyer, and the attendant silently closed the door, leaving them alone. Fern moved from room to room, leaving the bedroom for last. There were vases with fragrant cut flowers in every corner and a small table was covered with fresh fruit and sweets. Fern peeled off a blue grape and put it in her mouth. It was sweet. While chewing the pulp, she finally entered the bedroom. It was definitely the largest room in the apartment. Here too, there were numerous flowers and the dominant colour was white.

Jod came up behind her and placed a hand on her nape, playing with the fine hair that had escaped her braid. He caressed the braided hair and pulled out the clip that held it closed, then ran his fingers between the locks, untying them.

-The waiting day ended this morning, my love.

He hugged her and feeling her stiffen in his arms, he placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face until she met his gaze.

-Nervous, love?

Fern nodded. The lump of nervousness in her throat prevented her from speaking. He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose and her lips.

-I'll tell you what we're going to do, maybe this will calm you down.

Jod's voice took on a low timbre, full of desire.

-Now I'm going to undress you, getting rid of all your clothes one layer after the other. I will make you lie down on that soft bed and then lick and caress you everywhere.

He kissed her passionately.

-Then I'm going to fuck you with my tongue and fingers until you have so many orgasms that you’ll forget your own name.

Fern moaned, feeling a wet pulse between her legs.

-Then, when you are sufficiently wet and ready, I intend to take you. I'm going to spread your legs wide and slowly insert my cock into your cunt, deep where my fingers have never been able to reach.

Fern began to breathe heavily, aroused. Jod's breathing was also laboured.

-I'll try not to hurt you but a little discomfort the first time will be inevitable. Then I will start using the tongue again until you climax again. I can't wait to taste you after I've been inside you. The second time I’ll fuck you I'm going to do anything in my power to make you came around my cock. It will be wonderful, for both of us, you'll see...

Fern was so aroused that she didn't wait for him to undress her, pulling down her pants while he pulled off her shirt. Jod made her lie on her back on the sheets, keeping his promise, licking her from the chin to the navel and then starting again from the ankles. When she finally touched her, with his fingers and tongue, Fern came almost immediately. He did not move from his position between her legs, continuing to use his tongue and giving her three more orgasms, progressively increasing the number of fingers he used. Fern didn't even realize that he had put three fingers inside her, in the throes of one of one of the most intense orgasms of her life. He continued to move inside her, sucking and licking, but Fern shook her head.

-No more...

She groaned, holding still his wrist with a trembling hand. Her muscles felt like jelly.

-I need to rest for a moment Jod, I'm tired.

-One more time, my love.

He insisted and Fern dropped back on the sheets with a groan, closing her eyes and letting him drag her over the edge once more. She was shaking, exhausted, when he finally let her go. She could hardly keep her eyes open to watch him undress. She was too tired and satisfied to be nervous or scared when he climbed on top of her, positioning himself between her thighs.

He propped himself with one arm above her head and gave her one last kiss to which Fern barely responded. He took himself in hand and moved against her, as he had done on other occasions, causing her a further surge of pleasure. Then he positioned himself against her opening and began to push.

Fern inhaled in surprise. It was different from his fingers. She clung to his shoulders, widening her eyes and opening her mouth wide. Instinctively she tried to close her legs but he grabbed one knee with his free hand, spreading her leg again.

-Easy, love.

He gasped. He pushed slowly into her and it was strange; he had used the right term: he was taking her, it was a possession. Jod was on her, around her and inside her.

-Try to relax.

He begged her and stopped to kiss her. Then he started pushing again and Fern felt something like an internal pain, a kind of pinch and she flinched. Jod let out a low prolonged moan and gave one last push, stopping deep in her. He remained motionless for several seconds, taking the opportunity to kiss her and Fern felt her muscles contract and pulsate around that part of him that had buried itself deeply in her. Then Jod began to move. At first it was uncomfortable, as he had anticipated, but Jod was gentle, moving slowly and soon Fern began to find it pleasant and finally even arousing. With each thrust a shiver of pleasure ran down her spine, making her arch against him. She had just begun to moan softly again when he started to move quickly and almost frantically and Fern hissed because now it was painful. However, Jod immediately froze on top of her, stiffening and moaning loudly and then collapsed in her arms, kissing her passionately. He gave a couple more shallow thrusts and finally slid out of her dropping down on the sheets, catching his breath.

Fern turned to look at him, and he turned to her, smiling languidly. Fern gave him back an uncertain smile. He caressed her forehead.

-I'll be right back...

He whispered to her. He kissed her and then got out of bed, leaving the room. Between her legs it was burning. Not so much but it was... unpleasant. She touched herself and when she withdrew her hand was wet with seminal fluid and blood. She quickly sat up, feeling a stabbing pain in her belly. She groaned, placing a hand where it hurt.

-It's all right, love. Lay back.

Jod was back and had a damp towel in his hand. He pushed her lying on the bed and then gently passed the towel between her legs.

-A few drops of blood, nothing to worry about. It's nothing, love. Next time you won't bleed.

Once finished, he threw the dirty towel on the floor and then repositioned himself between her legs, resting her thighs on his shoulders.

-It hurts...

Fern tried to protest but he licked her anyway and she relaxed because his tongue didn't bother her at all, on the contrary, he gave her another orgasm.

Then, licking his lips, he lay down next to her and took her in his arms, making her lie on his chest, squeezing her tightly and caressing her bare back.

-Are you okay, my love?

Fen yawned and nodded.

-Have I hurt you?

He asked her in a whisper.

-No, it was just a little uncomfortable, as you said.

Jod smiled at her, beaming, and kissed her for long minutes.

-I'm happy. It was fantastic, you are fantastic. I love you so much.

He kissed her forehead, cheeks, and eyelids as Fern slipped into a light sleep.

-Rest now.

He whispered tenderly to her and Fern relaxed in his arms. Jod, on the other hand, did not fall asleep but remained awake to admire her. He hadn't lied: it had been fantastic, she was fantastic. Maybe not the best fuck of his life but certainly the most satisfying. Fern had met and exceeded all his expectations. It was true that he had had to pay close attention as he penetrated her, curbing his passion, but it had been absolutely worth it. Although she had been more than ready, she had still been very tight. Had he been able to move as quickly as he would have wanted, he would have arrived in no time, even so he had lasted very little. He shuddered with pleasure at the memory of how she had felt around him and the expressions she had made. Amazement, pain and pleasure had followed one another in a short time on her face. It had been beautiful. Even his wish to make her bleed had been granted. Fortunately, only a few drops but more than enough to satisfy his pride. He was especially smug that he had managed to make her moan with pleasure during her first time. He had been convinced that she was not going to like it at all, that she would find it painful and uncomfortable, so he had wanted to pleasure her before and after. He was more than sure he was going to be able to get her to climax during their next intercourse.

However, he had to continue to be delicate and kind to her. Fern was incredibly fragile, he had never had to be that careful with anyone before. It was easy to hurt her. On the other hand, the fruit of his attention was going to be that she would never look elsewhere, she would never get tired of him. He would keep her happy and satisfied and she would be his and his alone, forever. Those days were for her, to introduce her to sex and to gradually get her used to everything he could do with her and to her. He felt a tremor of anticipation at the thought of all the things he had planned for her to try. He couldn't wait for Fern to wake up to start again.

Fern woke up gradually, in Jod's arms, and raised her head to look at him.

-How much did I sleep?

He kissed her forehead and smiled at her.

-Less than an hour, love. I must have really exhausted you!

He seemed particularly proud of this fact and Fern snorted, moving. She sat up and felt... strange. She put her hand to her forehead.

-Do you feel all right?

Jod asked her, frowning and sat up in turn, placing a hand on her back.

-Yes, a slight dizziness.

He looked at her, worried.

-Come, eat and have a drink.

Getting out of bed, Fern glanced at the sheets where they had lay. There were some pink stains. She stopped, staring at them, but then Jod brushed her forehead with his fingertips and she accepted the hand he held out to her to get up. Her legs were shaking and she leaned against his chest.

-Are you sure you're okay?

Jod's tone was worried, but Fern nodded firmly and smiled at him.

-Food and drinks?

She reminded him and he returned her smile, kissing her again. He sat her down on the sofa and then bring her the tray, insisting on feeding her.

-I ordered a light dinner, they will bring it to us in an hour. In the meantime, if you like, we could try the bathtub. Have you seen it?

He asked her enthusiastically.

-It's huge and you can choose whether to use normal water or spa water!

Fern ate some fruit and a few pieces of chocolate, feeding Jod in turn, then relaxed on the pillows while he prepared her bath. He picked her up and took her in his arms.

-I can walk!

Fern laughed.

-I know, but let me do this for you! I love you, Fern.

Jod's tone became full of desire and he took her into the bathroom. The air was full of moisture, the bathroom was entirely tiled and the in-ground tub, more like a small pool, was large enough to easily hold four people. Jod walked down the steps and submerged with Fern still in his arms. The water smelled strange and was much warmer than what Fern was used to, but it was pleasant and she immediately felt all her muscles relax. Jod sat on a small recess against the edge of the tub with her in his arms, her back resting against his chest. He kissed her damp hair.

-Thanks Jod, I really needed it.

She turned her head and kissed him on the mouth.

-Tell me the truth Fern: are you hurting somewhere?

-No.

She replied sincerely.

-Some cramps before, as soon as we... finished...

Fern blushed violently and Jod laughed.

-Are you embarrassed to say it? We made love. Try!

Fern groaned and rested her head on his shoulder.

-… as soon as we finished making love! Happy?

-That we made love?

He replied, misunderstanding her on purpose.

-Of course I am!

They both burst out laughing, and Jod held her tightly.

-I'm so glad to hear your laughter.

He confessed to her, whispering in her ear.

-I was afraid of doing something wrong, of hurting or scaring you in some way.

Fern turned in his arms.

-I love you.

She said and kissed him for a long time. Then Jod took some soap and insisted on washing her. Soon, however, his soapy hands went from washing her skin to caressing it, passing over her breasts, her thighs and between her legs. Fern began to moan softly, pressing herself against him, and felt something press against her in turn. Jod let out a low growl.

-I still want you.

He said to her in a low tone.

-Me too.

She moaned in turn. Jod made her turn to face him, stood up and grabbed her by the buttocks, lifting her up with him. Fern let out a cry of surprise and clung to him.

-Now, I’m going to take you back to bed.

He informed her in a firm tone and then took her out of the tub and out of the bathroom, making her fall back on the bed, still wet.

-We will soak the sheets.

Fern pointed out to him in a breathless voice, unable to take her eyes off Jod's manhood which was right at her face level.

-They need to be changed anyway.

He leaned over her and Fern stepped back onto the bed and lay down as he covered her with his body. She wrapped her legs around his hips, thinking he would penetrate her, but Jod put a hand on her navel, pushing her away.

-Slow down, love. There is no hurry.

He began by kissing her and then went down her body, as he had done before that afternoon, so that when he reached the joint between her legs, Fern was moaning and pushing against his tongue. But when Jod penetrated her with a finger, she stiffened, hissing in pain.

-Fern?

Jod asked, stopping.

-It burns!

She complained.

-I'm sorry, Jod. Please....

He kissed her leg.

-I'm sorry, love.

Then he smiled at her lasciviously.

-My tongue doesn't bother you at all, does it?

And he proceeded to use that very muscle to give her pleasure. Afterwords, Fern pulled him to the bed, kissing him and tasting her own taste on his lips, and made him lie down, returning the favour and making him come with her mouth. Then they rested on the unmade bed, the sheets now irreparably ruined, until they heard a bell.

-Dinner!

Jod put on one of the linen bathrobes provided by the hotel and invited Fern to do the same, then went to open the door to the droid with their meal.

-We need new sheets and clean towels too!

Jod said to the droid, then sent it away with a wave of his hand and put the dishes on the table by himself.

They had dinner while droids took care of tidying up the rooms and then taking away the dishes.

Jod took Fern by the hand and led her back to bed, on the clean sheets. They gave each other pleasure and Fern wanted Jod to try again with his hands and this time the discomfort was minimal.

-Tomorrow morning, love...

Jod whispered to her as he moved a finger inside her.

-… tomorrow I’m going to make you came around my cock.

Fern climaxed with a hoarse shout to that promise.

In the morning Fern woke up lying on her stomach, awakened by Jod kissing her on the shoulder and with the sensation of his member, hard and demanding, pressed against her side.

-Are you awake, love?

Fern snorted.

-Impatient?

She replied, turning on her back, yawning and stretching. The yawn ended with a moan because Jod had taken advantage of her change of position to suck on her nipple and grab the other breast with his hand.

-I want to make love to you, Fern.

He whispered against her wet skin.

-Do you want to make love to me?

Fern didn't answer but spread her legs in an explicit invitation. Jod positioned himself on top of her, between her thighs and, while kissing her, he explored her with his fingers, penetrating her and arousing her further. Fern threw her arms around his neck, holding him close to her and pushing against his hand. When he began to enter her, Fern stiffened slightly, she still had to get used to the sensation of his member making its way into her flesh. Jod stared into her face, not wanting to miss any of her expressions, then his eyes closed as he threw his head back and groaned with pleasure. Jod pushed slowly all the way in and once he was fully sheltered inside, he stopped, took her leg, raised it and positioned it until it was wrapped around his hip and then began to move. Encouraged by the fact that there was no pain nor distress in Fern's expression, Jod picked up the pace. Soon only their panting and groaning and the sound of their flesh meeting resounded in the room. Fern arched her back, meeting his thrusts and her moans grew sharper and louder. Jod knew he wouldn't last much longer no matter how hard he tried to restrain himself, and so he began to touch her, where their bodies joined, determined to get her off before him. Fern screamed, stiffening with her back arched, her head thrown back and her eyes closed. Jod felt her tremble around him and let himself go, with quick and deep thrusts, chasing his own pleasure. Fern clung to his shoulders, continuing to moan loudly, while the pleasure did not end but continued to overwhelm her, in waves. When he finally stopped on top of her, with a long, low moan and panting, Fern embraced him with her arms and legs, wrapping herself around him and holding him to her and inside herself. Then Jod lay down on his side, pressed against her, hugging her with one arm and kissing her.

-Is everything ok, love?

He asked her, wiping a wet eyelash with his thumb.

-You’re crying. Did I hurt you?

Fern shook her head and kissed him back.

-It was... wonderful.

She said in a thin voice. Her arms and legs were shaking.

-Very intense. Overwhelming.

He smiled at her, beaming and happy. Fern smiled back at him.

-When can we do it again?

She asked him enthusiastically. Jod burst into a thunderous laugh.

-Oh love! I'm not a young man anymore. You have to give me time.

He winked at her.

-But, if you want, I can think of something to keep you busy while I rest.

He suggested her in a tone full of implications.

In the middle of the morning, Fern wanted to get out of bed to have breakfast and take a shower. Wrapped in her white linen bathrobe, she looked out the window at the tourist district that was spread with its colourful stalls two floors below. Jod joined her and hugged her from behind.

-How about going out for lunch, my love? We could explore the market and grab something to eat as we walk.

He slipped his hand into her bathrobe and grabbed her breasts, caressing her nipple. Fern moaned and pushed back at him, feeling him aroused.

-But first, I'll take you back to bed and fuck you again.

He whispered in her ear. Fern preceded him into the bedroom, letting the bathrobe slip from her shoulders and Jod took her in his arms, making her wrap her legs around his hips, kneeling on the mattress with Fern still in her arms. He slid her down his body, holding himself with one hand and penetrating her. He waited a moment for her to get used to it. This time he hadn't prepared her before, but he had given her pleasure all morning and she moaned as he took her.

-Like this, love...

He whispered to her, grabbing her by the hips and helping her move above him. Fern knew what he meant right away. In that position she was in control of the speed of the thrusts and how deep he could sink into her body. Jod was pushing from below but it was Fern who met him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and leveraged on her knees, kissing him and pushing down with her hands.

-Be still!

She ordered him and Jod groaned, obeying her. Fern positioned her knees better and then began to move. She experimented with angles until she found the perfect one. She moaned loudly and threw back her head, beginning to move and getting closer and closer to the peak. He grabbed her breast and bit her neck and with a scream she climaxed, stopping. Jod took the opportunity to grab her at the waist, lift himself on his knees and make her lie on her back, moving frantically until he too reached orgasm. Afterward, he rested his head on her breast, catching his breath as Fern ran her fingers through his hair.

-I think we'll both have to take another bath.

She commented, kissing his forehead. He lifted his head and smiled at her, kissing her on the lips.

In the afternoon they took a walk through the market and Jod insisted on buying her a long blue silk dress and a silver hair clip on which some of the planet's moons had been engraved.

-Before leaving, we could go down to have dinner at the hotel restaurant. You could wear this dress.

Jod had defended himself when Fern protested. She had worn it in the room and had done a pirouette. The dress was fresh and light, tied behind her neck and left her back and shoulders uncovered. It had to be worn without underwear and her breasts were outlined by the fabric. Jod swallowed, moistening his lips while the skirt spread around Fern's legs as she twirled around the room, laughing. He came forth, grabbing her and pulling her to his chest. He kissed her without speaking and pushed her against the table, making her sit on the edge and lifting her skirt, piling it at her waist. Fern gasped against his lips, spreading her legs and wrapping them around his hips. Jod opened his pants and pushed himself into her with a firm thrust. Fern inhaled and stiffened and he stood still until he felt her relax in his arms, then he withdrew and began to push. Fern clung to his shoulders, pinned in that position and unable to do anything but sit still and moan as he took her hard. Jod came first and as soon as he finished, he knelt in front of her with a growl, resting her thighs on his shoulders and rushed to her with his mouth and fingers. Fern clung to the edge of the table, closing her eyes and moaning loudly as he brought her over.

The following days passed in a very similar way. Fern spent much more time naked with Jod between her open legs while he gave her pleasure, than dressed and standing. In the afternoons they usually took a walk through the market or went to the hotel's spa which had pools with mud baths and thermal water and saunas with various temperatures. However, Jod could rarely keep his hands to himself when she was wearing only a towel or bathrobe and keep on touching and kissing her and Fern was embarrassed because they were not the only guests in the hotel.

-Next time I’ll book another desert island.

Jod grumbled as Fern pushed his hand away for the umpteenth time while he was trying to slip under her towel as they were sitting in the sauna. Fern laughed and agreed with him.

-It wouldn't be a bad idea.

She leaned against his sweaty shoulder and stroked his chest.

-Me, you and no one who can hear or disturb us...

She whispered to him. Jod coughed and moved uncomfortably, looking up at the ceiling and trying to calm his obvious arousal.

On their penultimate evening, Jod proposed that they go down to dinner at the hotel restaurant. He made her put on the blue dress and braided her hair, gathering it up with the silver clasp.

-You're beautiful.

He whispered to her, bending down to kiss her bare shoulder after securing the clasp. Fern threw her head back, resting it against his shoulder as he kissed her neck and cheek.

-You too. Very elegant.

Jod had pulled a green suit and a white shirt out of his luggage. He held her in his arms and Fern laughed.

-Are you sure you want to go down to dinner?

She pushed herself against him, feeling him hard.

-I'll try to restrain myself.

Jod promised while grabbing her by the hips and licking her neck, kissing the dark bite marks he had left on her. Twin marks to those she had left on his neck.

Dinner was a lot of fun. The tables were round, large enough to accommodate up to five diners, and instead of chairs there were semicircular sofas arranged around the table. Fern and Jod had the dishes moved so that they could sit close together, enough to kiss and watch the other guests sitting at their respective tables. Between one bite and another, they commented on the people who had, like them, decided to go down for dinner. They made up stories about them, each crazier than the other, and Jod pointed out on how easy it would be to rob them of all their belongings, revealing who wore real and precious jewels and who instead wore jewellery that were more flashy than expensive.

They were halfway through the meal when Jod stiffened at her side, clutching his fork convulsively.

-Play along.

He hissed at her, relaxing on the sofa, sliding down and assuming an indolent pose. He took her hand and placed it on his own thigh before placing both hands on the table.

A couple was approaching them. The woman was very beautiful, with long, shiny black hair that fell over her shoulders, her eyes were dark and her smile revealed many white teeth. The man who accompanied her, and who was walking a few steps behind her, was younger and looked at her with an adoring expression.

-Jack! What a chance to meet you here! How long has it been?

Jod tilted his head slightly.

-Ronny! What a stroke of bad luck! Seven years have passed since we saw each other, not enough in my opinion.

The woman frowned, discontented.

-I see that you have not changed at all. I thought I had made you understand how little I like to be called by that ridiculous nickname.

Jod shrugged, expressing disinterest.

-You are really rude, Jack. A couple of days with me and you would learn good manners.

The woman's cruel eyes shifted to Fern, full of contempt. Before Fern could open her mouth, Jod introduced her.

-Darling, this is Ronny. She is a real shrew, I wonder if that boy who trails her like a trained pet knows how much she likes pain.

The woman laughed and raised a hand, caressing the chin of her companion who closed his eyes with obvious pleasure.

-My pet? He knows it. He's well-trained, unlike you. I was very disappointed when you left.

-The way I left should have made you realize how little I enjoyed your company. We have a very different idea of fun, you and I.

Ronny pursed her lips and looked at Fern again, sneering at her.

-We have, judging by the pet you have chosen for yourself.

Fern's expression emptied before her lips curved in a cold, hard smile.

-I think there was a misunderstanding, Ronny.

Fern addressed her using a strongly ironic tone and moved her hand on Jod's leg, going up his thigh towards the groin. Jod let out a muffled cry, jerking slightly. The movement of Fern's arm and Jod's reaction did not escape the woman who raised an eyebrow.

-I'm not ... Jod’s pet. I like the name Jod, today I’m calling you Jod, is that alright, pet? He is mine.

Jod relaxed, resting his head on the padded upholstery of the sofa, baring his neck and sighing contentedly.

-He likes to be with me, don’t you Jod?

Jod nodded enthusiastically.

-We have one thing in common, he and I: neither of us likes pain. Tell me, Ronny: has my Jod ever crawled at your feet for the privilege of licking your fingers?

The woman's eyes widened in amazement and her gaze darted at Jod before looking back to Fern. Her face became thoughtful.

-I think you're right, Darling. Apparently, there was a misunderstanding.

Then her face filled with contempt and her pose became haughty.

-I will leave you to your... pleasure. Come, my pet.

She grabbed the man who accompanied her by a chain that he had around his neck and walked away. Only when he was sure that she had gone away, Jod was able to really relax. Then he looked down at the plate, which was still full.

-I'm not hungry anymore.

He whispered, full of disgust. Fern looked at him worriedly, then gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

-Let's go back to our room, Jod.

She whispered to him. She stood up and took him by the hand, intertwining her fingers with his. However, even back to their apartment, Jod continued to be quiet and still. Fern framed his face with her hands, making him meet his gaze.

-Talk to me, Jod.

He kissed her palm and sighed.

-I'm sorry you had to see that, love.

-Who is that woman and what did she do to you?

He swallowed and closed his eyes.

-I met Rona-Ra years ago. She is a mercenary. We flirted for a few days, then she proposed we meet in private and I had the ill-fated idea of accepting. I thought it would be fun, I like assertive women. Like a fool, I allowed her to put handcuffs on me. I thought she wanted to play and I was right, but she was the only one who liked the game. Do you remember that I told you that I only like it if you like it? She only likes it if her partner is in pain. She is a sadist. I screamed and begged her, until I realized how much she took pleasure in seeing me writhing like a worm impaled on a hook. At that point I indulged her, giving her what she wanted, to make her believe she had broken me. It was a very long night.

Jod was shaking slightly.

-Was she the one who burnt your shoulder?

Fern asked him, speaking softly. Jod frowned, confused, before his expression filled with understanding and closed off.

-No.

He answered succinctly and Fern remembered that he had not wanted to talk about it the first time she had asked him.

-Sorry.

She whispered. Jod groaned and rubbed his eyes.

-I’m sorry, love. No, the burns... I was a kid. Rona-Ra has nothing to do with it. Ronny likes to make you suffer without leaving any permanent marks – just bruises. And she likes to use electricity.

He shuddered.

-I waited for her to fall asleep, then I used the Force to open the handcuffs and fled, limping. I couldn't walk straight for days.

After he told his story, a long silence fell. Fern wrung her hands and bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed. Jod stood still, blank eyes, lost in his own head.

-Jod... What can I do for you?

His eyes focused on her and he smiled at her.

-Do you love me?

He asked her in a soft whisper. Fern nodded.

-Yes.

-Do you trust me?

-Yes.

She answered again. Jod seemed to come to life, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him.

-Do you want to play a game? A game we've already played...

Fern frowned.

-Which game?

He kissed her forehead and then knelt in front of her.

-You give me orders and I obey.

Fern stiffened.

-I don't want to be compared to that woman.

She said to him in a gloomy tone. Jod kissed her belly, through the fabric of her dress.

-You are not like her, not one bit. You won't hurt me. I trust you. In this game it is important to use a safe word, a word that, when pronounced, makes the other person understand that the game is over. "No", "stop" and "I don’t want it" are part of the game. We need a word that we would never say in the bedroom. I propose 33. You're fond of that droid, while I never liked it.

Fern looked at him, stunned.

-A safe word? But... we have never...

Jod smiled at her.

-I trust you. I know you, Fern: I'm safe with you. It is to make you feel safer. If you feel uncomfortable commanding me, I make you this proposal: let's reverse the roles, or… now I will put myself at your command and maybe tomorrow morning you will obey me.

Fern shuddered, starting to get aroused.

-We'll see tomorrow morning, okay?

She stroked his hair.

-For now, I want you to undress and go to our bedroom. Lie down on your back.

Jod got up and did as Fern had told him. He lay naked on the bed while Fern remained dressed, standing next to him.

-Arms along the body. Be still and don't move unless I tell you to.

Jod's member flickered and he moaned. Fern raised an eyebrow.

-I realize that you have no control over that and therefore, this time, I'll let it slide.

She gathered her skirt up, took off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, kneeling on his shoulders, above his head.

-Now you will make me came with your tongue. Without touching me with anything else.

Jod's eyes were dilated and he leaned toward her as she lowered herself toward him. With one arm she held her skirt and with the other she propped herself up on the mattress, moaning loudly as he obeyed, licking her with his tongue. She came screaming and Jod continued to lick her. Trembling, Fern got up, and he let out a needy cry, trying to follow her with his head.

-Enough!

She ordered him. Jod let himself fall back on the mattress.

-Please, Fern, please!

She remained on her knees on top of him.

-Please what, Jod? What do you want? Tell me!

-Let me came!

He howled with a wild expression, but kept the position and the order not to move that she had imposed on him.

-I want to fuck you and came inside you! I need it, Fern! Let me fuck you!

-No!

She answered resolutely and Jod was left speechless.

-No: I will fuck you. I'm going to fuck you until you give me another orgasm, and only then can you come inside me!

She sat on his sternum and took off her dress, remaining naked too. Then she let her hair down because she knew how much he liked it. Slowly she slid down his body, pressing against him. Jod was panting when she finally took him in hand and guided him into her. They moaned together as his member penetrated her.

-I want to touch you, Fern. Please...

Fern nodded, gasping. Jod grabbed her breasts, squeezing them and stroking her nipples with his thumbs.

-Move, please, move!

He begged her in a broken voice and swaying under her. Fern put her hands on his chest, propping herself up and lifted herself. She felt him slide out and then let herself fall, pushing her pelvis against his. Jod threw his head back, moaning. Fern began to move rhythmically, chasing her pleasure, joining her hands with Jod's on her breast. He lowered his right hand and began to tease her, making her scream and making her increase her pace. She arched her back when she climaxed, closing her eyes and breathing hard. Jod grabbed her by the hips and held her still while from below he began to push unrestrainedly, prolonging her orgasm, making her squirm and moan again until he too climaxed with a shout. She stood on top of him, shaking every now and then, as Jod relaxed, growing small and slipping out of her body. Fern leaned over him and kissed him on the lips, gently.

-Did you like it, my love?

She asked him and Jod looked at her with tears in his eyes.

-It's the first time you call me "my love".

He whispered to her, then grabbed her by the back of the head and kissed her. They fell asleep embraced, with her head on his chest.

Fern woke up the next morning because of Jod's caresses. He was brushing her face with his fingertips, raining light kisses on her cheeks and eyes.

-Good morning, love.

He whispered to her when she opened her eyes. Fern met his lips, returning the kiss.

-Good morning.

She answered, yawning and stretching. She looked out the window.

-What time is it? The sky is still dark.

Jod made a guilty expression.

-It's very early, but I couldn't resist any longer.

He pulled her towards him, pressing himself against her side and Fern laughed.

-Impatient, as always, huh?

-You turn me on so much...

He murmured in her hair.

-Are you awake?

Fern laughed at his petulant tone.

-Yes.

She caressed him, brushing against his chest and descending towards his belly. Surprisingly, he blocked her hand and got on his knees, looming over her.

-Do you remember my proposal last night, love?

Fern frowned, still partially asleep.

-No, which one?

She rubbed his eyes and sat up.

-This morning I give orders and you obey.

Fern inhaled and stiffened. Jod noticed it.

-We don't have to do it. I just thought you might want to give it a try.

He sounded disappointed and Fern took his hand.

-We can try. Okay: let's do it.

Jod's hand tightened around hers and then he kissed her palm.

-Remember the safe word, Fern. If you ask me to stop, I will not stop. You will have to say the safe word: 33. Remember?

Fern nodded, nervous but excited. Jod gave her a light kiss and then sat on his heels. His expression became merciless and his eyes hard.

-Get out of bed and kneel.

Fern shuddered at his tone but did as he commanded her. Jod sat on the mattress, so that she was between his legs.

-Now I'm going to fuck your mouth. You are not used to it and so I will try to be kind.

Fern frowned, confused. Jod grabbed her by the hair, on the nape of her neck, and Fern gasped because he pulled hard, bordering on painful.

-Open your mouth.

He ordered and Fern opened even more the mouth she had already parted in surprise. He guided her mouth to his member, pushing all the way, leaving her no choice on how deeply welcome him. She felt it hit the back of her throat, painfully. Her throat closed, trying to expel that foreign body, and Fern felt her muscles contract uncontrollably. Jod withdrew completely, and she coughed up saliva, inhaling hard and shaking.

-Jod...

She couldn't say more than his name that he pressed her against him again, pushing all the way in. Fern's fingers, resting on his legs, twitched and she trembled convulsively, trying to retreat but he held her by the hair. He pulled out completely again, and Fern sobbed. She couldn't hold back the saliva that dripped from her chin. He did it two more times and then finally released her hair. Fern folded over herself. It had not been pleasant at all. Her throat hurt and her hands trembled.

-Get on the bed, now.

He ordered her but she shook her head, crying.

-I can't...

She croaked. He grabbed her under her arms and lifted her, depositing her on the bed on her stomach. He grabbed her by the waist, lifting her pelvis, making her kneel and positioned himself behind her. Fern tried to lift herself up with her hands but he pushed on her back, hard.

-Down. Keep your head on the sheets.

Confused, Fern lowered herself. He caressed her back and hips. Swallowing painfully, her throat on fire, Fern closed her eyes. She felt the blood flowing to her head, she trembled and was hypersensitive to every movement Jod made, every caress he gave her. He touched her between her legs.

-You're wet.

He whispered, pleased. Then he withdrew his hand and positioned himself before pushing himself in with a single, rapid movement, to the base. Fern screamed, stiffening. Jod froze, it was not a scream of pleasure but of pain. He leaned over to look at her face, pressed sideways on the bed. She was red and her cheek was streaked with tears. But she hadn't said the safe word and therefore Jod proceeded. He grabbed her firmly by the hips and began to move, pushing quickly and forcefully, pulling her towards him to meet him thrusts. Fern was shaking, moaning, and sobbing and, feeling close to orgasm, Jod leaned over her, reaching out and touching her forcefully. He felt her muscles contract around him as Fern came with a prolonged cry and he too arrived, pressing himself inside her, as deep as he could. Holding her firmly by the waist, he dropped down on the bed, dragging her with him, remaining inside her. He caressed her face, it was wet with tears. Slight sobs still shook her. He slipped out of her body and Fen jolted, gasping.

-Fern?

He called her, slightly worried. He turned her around but her eyes were closed, her face contracted in an expression full of pain.

-Fern!

He hugged her and caressed her face.

-What’s wrong?

He asked her, now very worried.

-You hurt me.

She whimpered, trembling and sobbing.

-Why didn't you stop me?

He asked her, distraught.

-You should have stopped me! Why didn't you tell me?

She shook her head and then began to cry even louder. Jod hugged her, trying to comfort her and luckily she accepted his hug. As she cried and Jod caressed and kissed her, he tried to assess what had gone wrong. The most obvious answer was that she had not respected the rules of the game, not saying the word that would end it. But after the initial surge of anger, Jod cursed himself for having been stupid: Fern had never had sex until a few days before. Not only was she still incredibly delicate and new to it, but it was highly improbable she would have reacted well to pain. He had let himself go completely, possessing her as he would have done with a well-used whore instead of using the kindness she still needed. Jod had been confused because she had been aroused and orgasmed despite him taking her violently and had not realized that she would react negatively to the pain associated with pleasure.

When she had calmed down, he grabbed her by the chin, lifting her face and meeting her gaze.

-I want to look at you, okay? Just look.

He made her lie on her back and placed himself between her legs, spreading them. He breathed a sigh of relief.

-You're not bleeding.

He said to her, in a trembling voice. He had feared he might have caused her physical harm. He kissed her knee.

-Does it still hurt very much, love?

She nodded, her eyes were shining but she was no longer crying.

-Forgive me. It was a very bad idea.

She held out her arms to him.

-Will you hug me?

Jod complied, lying down at her side and holding her tightly.

-Are you angry with me?

She asked, having evidently seen irritation on his face.

-No love. I'm angry with myself. I shouldn't have done something like that to you. You're not used to it.

-I don't like it if you command.

Fern confessed without looking him in the face.

-You scared me.

Jod kissed her on the forehead.

-Forgive me.

He repeated in a stifled tone. Fear and pain were two things he didn't want Fern to associate with him anymore. It had taken him more than three years to erase those first weeks he had spent with her and now perhaps he had brought everything back to the surface.

-Forgive me too.

Fern said, pressing her head against his chest.

-You warned me that I had to stop you, that I had to use the safe word we had agreed upon.

-Why didn't you say it, Fern?

He asked her gently, still not understanding why she had continued to suffer in silence.

-I don't know! I was... frightened and confused. I was aroused but at the same time it hurt, I felt like I couldn’t speak, as if I was out of breath.

His member in her throat had stolen her speech and then when he began to fuck her, there was no other word to describe the way he had possessed her, his member buried deep in her had stolen her breath, moving relentlessly, overpowering her, even depriving her of the strength needed to defend herself. Pleasure had overwhelmed her but the sense of being deprived of all control, even the ability to speak to stop him, had scared the hell out of her.

-Maybe I was more scared than anything.

She admitted.

-I don't want to do it anymore.

She whined. Jod murmured, his caresses growing bolder.

-Last night at least you liked it? When you were the one on top?

He caressed her breasts, teasing her nipple.

-Yes.

Fern answered, beginning to breathe deeply.

-If you allow me, I would like to make you came again but with the tongue. I don't want this morning to be a total disaster.

-Right now?

Jod kissed her deeply, reassured that Fern met his kiss with enthusiasm. He licked her, going down her body and giving her pleasure with his tongue, taking all the time he needed, without even trying to use his fingers.

The rest of the day, the last, Jod dedicated it to Fern, treating her with all the sweetness and love of which he was capable, taking care that she felt only pleasure in his arms and waiting for the evening before making love to her again. He prepared her carefully and took her gently, as he had done her first time, refraining from having an orgasm himself, afterwords making her climb on top of him and encouraging her to ride him, moving at the speed she liked and welcoming him at the depth she preferred. The slow pace he kept with her allowed him to endure through two of her orgasms. On the third he arrived with her.

-Are you satisfied my love?

He asked her as she rested on his chest. She nodded her assent, her limbs completely relaxed.

-I hope you are happy with these days spent with me. I'm sorry for this morning. I hope I have recovered your favour.

She lifted her head and looked at his face, smiling at him.

-Very happy. I would say that you have recovered it wonderfully. It was a beautiful day.

Fern had been afraid when Jod had climbed on top of her, positioning himself between her legs, but he had been extremely gentle, moving slowly and being careful. Her fear had disappeared at the first push and then there had been only pleasure. She decided to lock up what had happened that morning in a corner of her memory, consider it an unhappy parenthesis and an unpleasant situation that would never be repeated: a mistake. Jod wasn't the man who had taken her violently that morning, he wasn't the callous, cruel lover who had hurt her. He was the lover who had treated her gently throughout the rest of the day.

On the Onyx Cinder Jod took her to the bedroom and, after pleasuring her with his tongue and fingers, made her lie on her side, positioning himself behind her.

-I want to make love like this, Fern. I won't hurt you.

He whispered through her hair, lifting her leg and making her put it on his own, putting a hand on the joint of her legs and caressing her gently. For Fern it was a familiar position, one in which he had often given her pleasure and yet she stiffened with a frightened pant as he took hold of himself and aligned with her opening, beginning to push from behind. She clawed the sheets and he froze.

-Does it hurt, love?

She thought about it for a moment.

-No...

She replied in an uncertain tone. It didn't hurt and he started pushing again, stopping when he was completely sheltered in her body. She could hear him breathing heavily in her ear.

-You feel so good, Fern.

He groaned. He stroked her with his fingers and she threw her head back moaning in turn.

-Wonderful. It's beautiful to be inside you.

He continued in a choked tone before starting to move, alternating thrusts with caresses. It was completely different from the last time he'd taken her from behind, and Fern arched her back, pushing herself toward him, meeting his thrusts.

-Do you like it, love?

He growled at her cheek, starting to move faster and faster. Fern responded with an inarticulate scream of pleasure, now near her peak.

When he felt her stiffen with a long moan and her muscles contract around him, he rolled so that he had her under him and levering with his knees, he fucked her by pressing her against the mattress, chasing his orgasm but still being careful that the moans she continued to make were of pleasure and not of pain. After coming, he wrapped himself around her, hugging her and kissing her shoulder and the cheek turned towards him. He let himself fall back on his side, still holding her in his arms.

-How do you feel, love?

She turned in his arms and kissed him.

-Good. It was... nice.

Fern smiled at him, and Jod smiled back at her.

-Just nice? I was hoping for extraordinary, fantastic...

He commented in a falsely offended tone and raised both eyebrows. Fern burst out laughing.

-Very nice.

She corrected himself. Jod became serious again.

-At first you stiffened. Did I hurt you?

She shook her head.

-I was... worried. I was afraid it would hurt but instead...

She kissed him again and Jod held her to his chest, glad.

The return was not the happy occasion that Jod had imagined at the departure. The idea of what he had done to her only the day before weighed on him but Fern appeared relaxed in his presence and, if not exactly radiant with happiness, she sought him out for reassurance and seeking affection and this allayed his fears of having caused her love for him to waver.

Chapter Text

IX 

When KB went to Fern, to make sure in person her friend was okay, she immediately noticed that she looked different and it wasn't just the bruises on her neck left by Jod's kisses. Maybe it was just her impression since she knew what she had done with him, but Fern looked more mature, as if there was an air of heaviness about her. She felt acutely the distance between them, the difference between their experiences. It was strange to think that her best friend, who until the discovery of the Onyx Cinder had shared everything with her, had now experienced something that was still very far away, nebulous and mysterious to her. She and Wim had only kissed, mostly only on the lips, exchanging only a few more daring kisses while Fern and Jod... the very thought of it made her skin crawl. In her eyes Jod was not only too old but what she thought about every time she thought of him was how he had deceived them, how he was good at lying and manipulating others and she was terrified that he was doing the same to Fern and that he, in the long run, would hurt her.

They locked themselves in Fern's room to talk without being interrupted. Fern's mother had greeted her with pursed lips and a worried expression.

-My mother is furious.

Fern commented, sitting on the bed.

-We had a fight when I returned. I told her what we did. I told her that I love Jod and that as soon as I come of age I will move in with him. That I want to be with him. She cried. She says that he will hurt me, that I don't understand what he is doing to me.

Fern had frowned, evidently still angry.

-She treats me like a stupid child. She doesn't accept my choices.

KB had sighed. She was perfectly in agreement with Fara but if she admitted it, she feared that Fern would push her away.

-You know that your mother loves you and that she only wants the best for you.

Fern had rolled her eyes.

-Yes I know. She wants to protect me, but I don't want to be protected.

She had flipped back on the sheets.

-I don't need to be protected. Jod loves me and he won't hurt me.

As she said those words, however, KB saw a strange expression pass over her friend's face and was alarmed.

-Then... it didn't hurt? You have ... done it and it didn't hurt?

Fern smiled and blushed.

-It was really nice. Jod... he was very kind. I liked it.

-Fern...?

KB leaned toward her. Her friend's voice had trembled.

-Tell me the truth, please. I don't like your tone of voice.

Fern had sat up again and looked at her face, meeting her eyes.

-I didn't lie!

Then she pursed her lips, shrugging her shoulders.

-The first time he was very kind and didn't hurt me, it was just a little uncomfortable. Then it was amazing, as I said. We have done it many times and only once... He hurt me but he apologized, he says he won't do it again. It was my fault too...

-Fern!

KB interrupted her, distraught.

-No! Listen to me KB. I didn't tell him he was hurting me, I didn't ask him to stop. He didn't realize that he was hurting me, only afterwords... I was crying and he apologized.

KB felt her stomach churn. It was like that time on the frigate, when Fern had said it was her fault that Jod was molesting her because she had caught his attention.

-He won’t do it anymore!

Fern continued defensively. KB covered her eyes.

-Okay, as you say.

She had then looked her friend straight in the eyes and had taken her hands.

-But you have to promise me that if he hurts you again you will tell me.

Fern had looked away and KB had squeezed her hands tightly.

-Promise me Fern! Hurting someone is never justifiable!

Then KB had an idea.

-How would you feel if I was always scared, if Wim hurt me?

Fern's eyes widened and her expression was filled first with horror and then with understanding.

-I would be very angry with Wim.

She said slowly, as she put herself in her friend's shoes.

-I would be scared for you and I would want to protect you, at any cost.

Fern had lowered her head thoughtfully.

-Okay, KB.

She had said in a decisive tone, meeting her gaze.

-I understand now what you're trying to tell me. Jod is not like that but I realize that you may be afraid for me and worry.

She had embraced her with enthusiasm.

-You are a good friend and I promise that I will come to you immediately if he should behave badly with me.

KB had returned the hug.

-The important thing Fern, is that you understand that in no case a violent behaviour is justifiable. I could insult Wim and yell at him the worst things, I could ask him to hit me but if he hurt me, it would be his fault alone. Would you think I deserved it?

-No!

Fern had exclaimed, upset.

-You too don't deserve to be hurt. Jod has to treat you well otherwise he's not the right one for you.

-You're right.

Fern nodded with conviction and KB breathed a sigh of relief.

Fern had long ruminated on the conversation she had with KB. She loved Jod and wanted to be with him but at the same time something had cracked, her unshakable belief that she was in control of their relationship, that he would never hurt her again, had taken a hit and her trust in him was now a little less blind. She was still convinced, from the bottom of her heart, that he really loved her but she had forgotten how dangerous he could be, how much stronger he was than her and how potentially violent. Yet she loved him and did nothing but think about him and how much she missed him. She resisted only one day without seeing him and then she returned to him.

Jod opened the door for her after a few moments. He had a strange, almost desperate expression. He pronounced her name in a choked tone and pulled her over the threshold, then pushed her against the closed door and kissed her passionately. Fern returned the kiss with equal passion, pushing herself against him and moaning.

Jod rested his forehead against hers.

-Fern... I waited for you all yesterday afternoon. Why didn't you come?

Not knowing how to answer, she kissed him, pushing her pelvis against him and moaning loudly.

-I could fuck you against this door.

He growled against her lips.

-And it would be fast and violent.

He pushed hard against her, and Fern felt how hard he was.

-But I know that fast and violent is not for you, my love.

He continued, softening the tone of his voice and relaxing his grip on her. He kissed her again, this time gently, caressing her with his tongue and Fern melted in his arms.

When they broke away, she smiled at him, with eyes full of love.

-Sorry if I didn't come yesterday. I don't know why. I've been thinking about you all the time.

Jod smiled at her in return and kissed her again.

-I want you, Jod.

Fern moaned and he put his arms around her waist.

-Is that why you came? To fuck?

Jod's tone was tense even though his expression was curious, and Fern frowned, sensing that his question was hiding another.

-No, I came because I missed you, I'm here because I love you.

Jod trembled, closing his eyes and leaning against her as if his legs suddenly no longer supported his weight.

-Do you really love me?

He asked her in a broken voice and Fern's heart broke at the thought that he feared that her love for him was not steady.

-Yes, I love you.

She framed his face with her hands and kissed him again.

-Will you come to my room, Fern? Do you want to make love to me?

This time Jod's tone was sincere and Fern nodded, kissing him again and leading him into the bedroom.

He was very delicate and very attentive and for Fern it was fantastic, every gesture, every caress and every kiss were imbued with love and the trust in him that had become shaky, that had abandoned her leaving her scared and slightly distrustful of him, strengthened and returned to being what it was before.

-I love you.

She repeated to him while he rested on her breast. He smiled at her and looked at her with adoration.

-I love you too. I wish you could always stay here with me.

-I would like it too.

Fern confessed to him stroking his hair.

-Yesterday I started looking at the files of your classmates.

Jod told her.

-You received a very high score in the tests. One of the highest in the whole school. I'm proud of you.

Fern blushed with satisfaction.

-You don't know how much I would like to have you intern in my office.

He groaned in frustration.

-But I'm afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to restrain myself and I would end up locking you in my office and keeping you all to myself.

He sighed.

-To the delight of your mother, I'm sure, I've decided to assign you to her office. She will make sure you can learn everything you need.

And under the strict supervision of her mother, no one would have dared to try to approach her and steal her away from him.

-You said you want a job in administration, you said you want to make a difference and help your people...

Fern looked at him curiously.

-I would like you to follow your mother carefully. And that in a few years you will be able to accept a position as undersecretary.

Fern sat up with her mouth and eyes wide open.

-Undersecretary? Me? Jod, that role is... coveted, the maximum anyone can aspire to. My mother, becoming undersecretary at just 35 years old, is the youngest At Attin has ever had! Of course I want that position, but I didn't think I could reach it before I was forty!

Jod stroked her cheek and pushed her hair away from her face.

-I firmly believe in your abilities.

He kissed her on the lips.

-I believe it so much that I don't want you to support just your mother in the administration of At Attin. The next times I’ll go to the Libertas I want you to come with me. I want to introduce you to my crew not as my concubine but as my woman. You will sit by my side and not at my feet. You will listen as I discuss with our business partners, you will follow me as I manage my crew. I want them to get used to seeing you as my equal and to take orders from you in the future.

Fern was stunned and flattered.

-Do you want me to be your equal?

She whispered and Jod nodded. Moved by a surge of affection, she kissed him passionately, climbing on top of him and welcoming him back into her body, making love slowly and fervently.

Fern began her internship a couple of weeks later. The bitemarks on her neck had disappeared and she had begged Jod not to give her any more, otherwise she would have been forced to resort to her mother's help to cover them with makeup. The introduction to her future colleagues was slightly embarrassing. Her mother had introduced her with evident pride, praising the grades she had had in the final tests and her committed in studying to get the place she had been assigned. Fern knew it seemed like a blatant case of nepotism given who her mother and lover were, but she hoped that over time she would prove that she deserved her place and that she really wanted it.

The first few weeks, Jod kept his distance, being careful never to cross paths with her during working hours, then one day, at lunchtime, he showed up at her station.

-Hi Fern!

He addressed her and she looked up in surprise from her monitor. He gave her a crooked smile, all teeth.

-I came to pick you up to have lunch together. I have already informed your mother.

Fern, like all the interns, worked only half a day and did not return after lunch break. Aware that she had all the attention of the office on her and that her colleagues were morbidly curious to see her interact with the supervisor, she decided to start working on Jod's bad reputation. She gave him a radiant smile.

-Shall we have lunch at your place?

She asked him in a cheerful voice and he raised an eyebrow.

-Obviously.

-You’re cooking, right?

Jod's smile grew more sincere. Maybe he didn't understand the reason for her behaviour but decided to play along.

-As always!

He held out a hand to her and she grabbed it without hesitation, letting him help her up. Jod kissed the back of her hand and took her under his arm, leading her out.

-Why so flirtatious?

He asked her while he was getting on his bike.

-I was ready to play the part of the monster...

-You are not a monster.

Fern interrupted him decisively, climbing in behind him.

-And I'm not a victim. I don't want to lie anymore.

As soon as she crossed the threshold of the house, Jod grabbed her by the waist and kissed her.

-Do you really not want to lie anymore? Are you not ashamed of me anymore?

He asked her in a breathless voice, between kisses as he began to undress her, leading her to the sofa in the living room. While he undressed her, Fern undressed him. Jod pushed her to sit on the couch and knelt between her legs, pulling off her pants. He broke free and pulled down his pants, dragging her off the couch and impaling her, moaning. Fern stiffened with a pant and Jod froze, taking the opportunity to kiss her and grab her breasts while she relaxed in his arms. Then he began to thrust in her, fucking her against the edge of the couch, knowing that he would regret kneeling on the hard floor but too lost in the pleasure that Fern's body give him to stop and change position.

Once he was finished, he lifted her up and put her down to sit on the sofa. Fern laughed at the grimaces Jod made as he got up.

-I think I need a shower!

She commented, squeezing her legs, feeling wet and dripping. Making love to Jod was always a messy affair that left her with the need to clean herself up. While he went to the kitchen, to prepare their meal, she headed, naked, towards the shower.

As she had anticipated, Jod began to take her with him when he went to the Libertas. Since, as he told her, looks and attitude were everything, he insisted that Fern dressed like a mercenary, armed with a blaster, with a dagger tied to her back and numerous vibroblades sticking out of the edge of her boots. She walked by his side with her head held high, meeting the eyes of the pirates without any fear. There were whispered insults and barbs. The most used words were whore and slut and Jod, while glowering at those he heard muttering against her, never defended her: needing Jod's protection would make her look weak. Fern let them talk, waiting for the right pirate and the right opportunity. When the right opening presented itself, she punched a big duros and almost broke his jaw. Jod give them his back and told them to sort it out by themselves and not to involve him. The duros thought that the captain's former concubine, shorter and apparently weaker than him, would be easy to beat. Fern, on the other hand, knocked him out effortlessly, breaking his arm. As the pirate lay on the ground moaning in pain, Fern spat on him and then turned to the pirates who had witnessed the fight.

-I'm not a whore and I'm not a slut. The next one who calls me that will join the bastard at my feet.

Having won against the duros did not put an end to the provocations. Fern had to fight five more times before she began to earn the respect of the crew and the first nods and acts of camaraderie.

Jod reverently kissed the blue and purple bruises on Fern's bare side as they laid together in bed.

-Luckily, she didn't hit me in the face.

The girl commented, smiling and immediately grimacing in pain. She had consciously left her side uncovered to defend her face: it would have been a disaster if she had shown up at home or even at the office, with a black eye or a split lip.

-Luckily, no one pulled a knife.

Jod had replied. He had made it known to the members of his crew that anyone could get into a fight with his woman, if they dared, but that he would react immediately and deadly if weapons were drew.

He brushed against her breasts, caressing her nipple.

-Do you feel up to it, love? Or does it hurt too much?

She arched towards his hand.

-I can do it if you don't make me move too much. I'm still in pain.

Jod stroked her gently, brushing her only with his fingertips and making her tremble and moan. He stood on top of her and penetrated her slowly, moving unhurriedly and being very careful never to weigh on her. After she had reached an orgasm, he withdrew from her body and lay down by her side.

-How are you?

Fern sighed.

-I didn't feel any pain. But why haven't you finished?

Jod smiled, kissing her.

-Because I want to fuck you again. I'm going to get you a painkiller and a bacta bandage.

He waited for the bacta to take effect, lifting the bandage often until the bruises began to fade.

-Does it still hurt?

He asked her, pressing his fingers on the bruises that had turned from blue and purple to yellow and green.

-No.

Fern replied, for whom the greatest relief had come from the painkiller. Jod hummed and removed the bandage, throwing it on the bedside table after cleaning the skin of the excess gel.

-I swear I won't hurt you, love. Trust me.

He whispered as he lay down by her side, turning her around until he was behind her, lifting her leg and penetrating her from behind as he stroked her with his hand. He slipped his other arm under her, grabbing her breast and starting to push rhythmically. Fern moaned, arching towards him but just as her orgasm was beginning to approach, he rolled over, pushed her face down the mattress, staying behind her, grabbing her by the waist and getting on his knees, dragging her with him. Fern stiffened with a frightened pant, finding herself on her knees, lying on the sheets with him kneeling behind her, inside her. The last time it had happened it had been painful and frightening.

-Trust me, love, please!

He lifted her up guiding her hands to make her place them on the headboard of the bed.

-Cling to it.

He covered her, laying on her back and he too grabbed the headboard with his left hand, close to hers. Then he began to move again. Fern threw her head back, closing her eyes and moaning loudly. She felt him slide out and then push back in, reaching all the right places inside her to make her body sing in pleasure.

-Say you like it!

Jod raped against her ear.

-Say it!

He ordered her, giving a more decisive thrust.

-I like it!

Fern screamed and heard him growl.

-Say you love me!

-I love you!

She answered immediately.

-Say you want me!

-Yes! Yes! Yes!

To each shouted, sobbed and moaned utterance, Jod responded by rewarding her with a thrust that brought her closer to the climax. The orgasm caught her suddenly, causing her to arch with a scream and cling to the keyboard until her knuckles turned white. Jod grabbed her tightly by the hips and after a few, quick thrusts he followed her, stilling deep inside her, hugging her from behind and squeezing her tightly, moaning and then biting her between the neck and shoulder, where the collar of her shirt would cover the mark. Then he slipped out of her body and with a silent laugh he helped her unclench her fingers from the headboard, making her lie down and turn towards him.

-Well, love?

She kissed him on the lips.

-Fantastic!

She replied. He caressed her face, brushing her lips with his fingers.

-I didn't hurt you, did I?

She gave him a dreamy smile and shook her head.

-No pain.

He lay on his back and pulled her to his chest, stroking her hair and bare back.

-I love you.

He whispered against her forehead.

-I love you too.

Fern replied, relaxing against his warmth. Jod was really relieved that he had been able to give her pleasure in that position. He had been worried that she would react badly and instead everything had gone well. Watching her fight had been incredibly erotic, he had been hard for hours, Fern was the perfect woman for him, she was the right one, the woman he could spend the rest of his life with. He played with the ends of her hair, brushing them with his fingers until she murmured a protest, complaining that he was pulling it.

She was his, all his and only his.

Even in the calm and relaxation post coitus, he felt a shiver down his spine, something that made his heartbeat accelerate while a strange sense of restlessness seized him and inside his head resounded, insistently, the words that he had lived by all his life, until he had met Fern:  no attachments, bonds of any kind are an impediment. He gritted his teeth and clutched Fern's half-asleep body to him.

-Your focus determines your reality.

He whispered under his breath. She moved in his arms. He imagined the future he desired, with the woman he desired. He burned that image in his mind, he savoured the taste of her kisses, the warmth of her embrace, something that he didn't even have to imagine because he was experiencing it at that moment. Happiness, satisfaction, wealth and fulfilment: this was what he wanted from his life, that was the future he wanted to shape for himself. He had already more than enough money. He had his adoring crew and the position of power he had always longed for. Fern was his, in his arms, in his bed, with his come still wet on her thighs and buried deep inside her. He had everything and would keep it, at any cost. Nothing and no one would take away what he had obtained for himself. Nothing and no one.

Fern had wanted to depart for Porto Borgo with him but Jod, while believing her ready to came with him, had insisted that she, for the time being, stayed on At Attin.

-You started your internship under your mother a few months ago. Solidify your position here and then we will work together outside too.

He had insisted, to quiet her protests. In truth, Jod couldn't wait to take her with him: he was sure that seeing the horrors of the galaxy with her own eyes would not only make her appreciate the protected environment in which she lived so far but would push her to rely on him even more. However, a complication had arisen and he did not want to involve Fern with the unpleasant situation he hoped to resolve away from her sight.

For almost a year now, another pirate captain had taken up residence in Porto Borgo. His crew was more numerous than Jod's, although his ship was smaller and not as well armed. Neewra had been a thorn in his side for far too long and it was finally time to confront him in person and see what he wanted. The Twi'lek had tried several times to infiltrate his men into Jod's crew, taking advantage of the fact that he was still recruiting.

The life of sedentary pirates, without ships to attack and people to rob, was not for everyone and if some were attracted by the prospect of gold obtained without having to risk their skins, some got tired after a few months and left. Jod harshly scolded Pax every time the number of his crew members dropped and he replaced them with unsuitable people. There had been other rapes and murders committed by newly recruited pirates who had not taken seriously his order to leave the local population alone. Although almost five years had passed, Jod still did not have a stable crew and this bothered him a lot. Pax was his first officer and had delegated the matter to him because Jod had been too busy overseeing the affairs of the planet and courting Fern to take care of that too. By now he had settled on At Attin and spent little time on the frigate and very little in Porto Borgo.

Neewra had taken advantage of it. He had been a pirate like many others, with a small ship and a small crew, until he had the misfortune to be attacked by a Republican corvette on patrol against piracy just as he was busy boarding a merchant ship. The New Republic ship had destroyed Neewra's ship but had to board the merchant ship, which had been, by then, under pirate control. Somehow the Twi'lek had gained the upper hand over the regular troops and had also taken control of the corvette. He had lost his ship and some of his men, but he had gained a relatively new and very well-armed ship. The victory had also earned him a good name among the pirates who, attracted by a victorious captain like flies by sugar, had gathered around him, swelling the ranks of his crew and suddenly catapulting him among the pirate captains who mattered. 

Jod would have toasted his good fortune if Neewra hadn't set his sights on the Libertas and the hidden planet from which Jod derived his gold.

Jod had known early on that keeping at Attin secret would be impossible: the fact that he had found the mythical treasure planet would become public knowledge an hour after the first pirate disembarked at Porto Borgo to get drunk. So he had not kept it hidden but had personally told all those who wanted to listen to him, how he had first figured out the importance of the four lost children who had found themselves in the pirates' lair and had caused such a stir, how he had recognized their ship as the infamous Onyx Cinder and the plan he had come up with to conquer At Attin and its treasure,  after justly punishing his mutinous first officer. Every time he told the story he had taken care to change a detail so that now many versions circulated, which had in turn changed by passing from mouth to mouth. The description of At Attin, its barrier, and even where it was, changed constantly, depending on who was telling the story. Everyone knew that he had found the mythical treasure planet, but no one agreed on how or where it was located. Even his men had a hard time to be believed when they gave a description of the place where his lair was located.

Every time the Libertas emerged from the storm of clouds that hid At Attin, Jod was tense and worried about finding someone waiting for him: other pirates eager to rob him or New Republic officers ready to end his life. No one could penetrate the barrier but they could wait for him outside and if someone managed to get hold of the Libertas, they would also have the road paved for the conquest of At Attin and its gold. Up to that moment he had been lucky, but he knew that luck alone could not be enough. So he was trying to have a stable crew of pirates eager to retreat from a life of danger. He wanted to leave Porto Borgo and start stock up in more "legal" spaceports, but to do so his frigate had to look less like a pirate ship and more like a mercenary ship.

While Jod had been engaged in this transition, Neewra's star had risen. The pirates who had left Jod because they were unhappy with his more laxed discipline and the comfortable life he provided them, had gone to Neewra telling him all about At Attin. The blue twi'lke had approached Jod in Porto Borgo offering him a drink and a couple of whores, with the excuse of celebrating with him, from pirate captain to pirate captain. They had gotten drunk together and Jod had asked him to tell him all about his exploits, repeating in turn one of the many stories he had spread about At Attin. It had not escaped him how the pirate's purple eyes had filled with greed nor the fact that among the men and women recruited by Pax there were some who had suddenly decided to leave Neewra for him. The Malleus, the twi'lke’s corvette, was almost always parked in Porto Borgo when the Libertas also docked and from the spies that Jod had infiltrated his competitor's crew, he knew that Neewra was losing patience, frustrated by the fact that he had not been able to find the coordinates for At Attin. Jod was tempted to let him find them. If the pirate had been stupid and greedy enough to try to cross the barrier, the defence of the planet would have permanently solved the problem for him, but the risk of finding him waiting for him just outside was too great and he did not want to take it. He had therefore decided to confront him and see if he could get him to start a fight. A nice show of strength and a heap of still warm corpses were the best way to get rid of the competitors and make everyone else lose the desire to do the same, at least for some time.

They had met at the brothel. Durko, seeing them both in the same room, each surrounded by their own armed men, had wrung his hands and ordered his whores to fill them with wine but otherwise to stay away from them. Jod had sat at the same table as the twi'lke, taking a swig straight from the other man’s bottle, without waiting for a glass. Neewra had moved a lekku in surprised. He had stopped licking the neck and touching between the legs of the young man on his lap and had turned towards the other pirate captain.

-Silvo! Long time no see! They told me that you no longer frequented the brothel... Vear will be crushed: she thought you had rejected her because you were too much taken with your concubine.

Neewra had tried to put his sister, who was also his first mate, into his bed.

-Yes, well... I'm not here for the whores. Durko still has the best rum at the spaceport.

The twi'lke had observed how Jod's crew had spread out around the place, ignoring the wine and the whores in favour of keeping an eye on his crew. Neewra had tightly squeezed the young man genitals and the whore had let out a sharp cry of pain, then he had pushed him away and the boy had rushed to get out of the way.

-Were you looking for me?

He had asked Jod, taking the bottle from his hand and drinking from where Jod had placed his lips.

-Maybe the reason you didn't care about my dear little sister is that you need someone more... masculine? I promise I'll be kind...

Neewra had run his tongue over his teeth, smiling obscenely. He knew that Jod preferred women and was provoking him on purpose. Jod shook his head and smiled back at him, showing his teeth.

-You're not my type and I think the reason you are so much interested about my comings and goings is that you've got a thing for me. So I have come to tell you in person that you have no chance in hell.

He spread his hands in a conciliatory gesture.

-I'm so sorry, Neewra.

The twi'lke did not change his expression.

-You're not my type: too old. I like young and smaller guys, you know... They are like little girls. I like how tight they are and how they whine. Your concubine is a little girl if I'm not mistaken. We could trade: you fuck my sister and I fuck your concubine. Girls scream just like boys, when you put it in their ass.

Neewra's lekku stiffened a moment before Jod toppled the table over him. All hell broke loose. Durko threw himself on all fours and crawled behind the counter, the whores threw themselves to the floor covering their heads and screaming while the light from the blaster bolts filled the air with flashes. The two sides used the turned-up tables as shields and a fight to the death began. Jod and Neewra rolled on the ground, hitting each other with their bare hands. The twi'lke was bigger and stronger than Jod, and he was not afraid to use his teeth and whatever he had at hand.

Jod had lost his mind when the other had mentioned Fern, in a flash the image of the twi'lke above her and her screams of pain had crossed his mind and he had been blinded by anger and hate. Now he was paying for his recklessness. Neewra wasn't a match for Brutus in terms of how dangerous he was, but he had a head start: with Brutus, Jod had planned every move, he had been cool and had at least an idea of his opponent’s fighting style. With the twi'lke, however, Jod was taking a beating. Jod had hit him several times, even making him bleed, and yet the Neewra had punched him in the groin making him bend in two and had bitten his cheekbone. Jod had screamed as he felt warm blood running down his cheek and into his mouth. He was about to use the Force when, grappling and rolling on the floor with his opponent, he felt the shards of a bottle under his back. He had grabbed a fragment and buried it in Neewra's right lekku. The twi’lke had stiffened and let out a sharp scream of pain. His opponent's moment of distraction had allowed Jod that moment of respite he needed to grab his dagger. Neewra had got up and away, panting, and had done the same. The two pirates had been breathing laboriously, circling each other, and the shootings in the room had subsided.

-I will kill you.

The twi'lke had growled.

-And I will kill all your men who will not surrender. Then I'll take your ship and I swear to you that before killing her, I'll fuck your concubine. Then, I’ll take At Attin and all your gold.

Jod did not fall into the same trap for a second time. He spat on the floor his own blood and then adjusted his hold on the dagger. The twi'lke leapt at him and the duel resumed.

Fern was at work when the Libertas landed. She watched its descent from the window without getting up from her seat and then turned her attention back to the screen, already thinking about that afternoon, when she would see Jod again. She didn't take notice of the passage of time, but it seemed like only a few minutes had passed, when Pax burst into the office calling out her name. Fern had already gotten up when Jod's first mate reached her and grabbed her by the arm.

-Captain Silvo is asking for you. Come, now!

Fern was alarmed by the pirate's frantic tone and frightened expression and immediately followed him. Pax took her to the frigate and directly to the infirmary. The girl entered with her heart in her throat, frightened by what she would see. Jod was half-lying on a bed, attached to a machine that helped him breathe. He was shirtless and his chest was bandaged. The bandages were stained with blood on the chest, the oxygen mask too was stained with blood. He was covered in bruises and an inflamed wound marred his cheek. He was alert, and his pale, stained lips stretched into a smile as he saw her.

-Fern...

He gurgled, coughing and spitting fresh blood into the mask. Fern let out a desperate moan and rushed to his bedside. She turned with a shocked expression to Pax.

-What happened?

-Fern...

Jod repeated with difficulty, lifting a trembling hand and caressing her cheek wet with tears.

-…you are safe...

-The captain had been in a fight with another pirate captain. He won but was injured. The frigate does not have the means to heal him.

-He has a perforated lung that keeps on filling with blood. We have to drain it continuously.

The medical droid interjected in a metallic voice.

-Why is he still here?

Fern thundered, panicking.

-Pax!

She seethed at Jod's first mate who was wringing his hands behind her.

-Call for a transport, we’re taking him to the hospital.

Then she turned to the droid.

-You! Contact At Attin and pass all the captain's details to the hospital and let them know that we are on our way.

With a sigh of relief for having someone able to give him orders again, Pax hurriedly obeyed. Jod was prepared and quickly taken to the planet and to the operating room.

Fara joined her daughter while she waited for the doctors to come out and update her.

-What happened, Fern?

Fern sat motionless, her hands folded in her lap and her gaze distant.

-Apparently, at the spaceport Jod fought with a rival pirate captain and their two crews also had a clash. Jod won but before dying the other one stabbed him in the chest, piercing a lung. On the frigate they sewed him up and applied bacta but the internal wound was not treated and the lung filled with blood. Now he is having surgery.

Fara sat down next to her and took her hands. With a sob, Fern turned to her, and her mother welcomed her in her arms, trying to comfort her.

After a few hours, a surgeon walked into the waiting room. He nodded to mother and daughter and then stopped in front of them, rubbing her hands.

-Neither of you is a relative but you...

She turned to Fern.

-… You are mentioned in the patient file as the contact person in case the patient is not in an alert state and able to make decisions regarding his health.

She sighed.

-Supervisor Silvo has successfully underwent the operation. We immersed him in a bacta tank because the wounds he had suffered were very extensive and varied but apart from the one on the chest none were very deep. Since they are a couple of days old, there are going to be some scarring, but he will recover completely.

-How long will it take for him to regain consciousness?

Fern asked anxiously.

-In one to two days. He is sedated for the moment. If you want you can come back tomorrow afternoon. We will decrease the painkillers and see how he reacts.

Mother and daughter had left the hospital together but Fern, despite her mother's pleas, had wanted to return to the frigate instead of going home.

She had contacted Pax at the communicator.

-Pax. I need you to pick me up at the hospital and take me to the Libertas. I want a detailed report on what the captain has done in recent times and the situation that has arisen in Porto Borgo. No Pax! No excuses! I don't care whether the captain wants to keep me informed or not. The captain is currently immersed in a bacta tank and apparently has left the management of his affairs to me. I want to know exactly how such a thing could have happened!

Jod woke up floating in a viscous liquid. For a moment he panicked, clawing at the oxygen mask over his face. He felt himself being pulled up and out and as lights and sounds bombarded his senses painfully, he unhooked his mask, inhaling loudly. Breathing hurt, all the muscles in his body were sore, and the light stung his eyes.

He tried to speak, to ask where he was, but only a croak came out of his throat.

-Jod, Jod, calm down, you're safe!

Fern's voice was like a balm for his ears and spirit, instantly calming his panic. If Fern was present then he was safe. He tried to focus on his surroundings.

-You are safe.

Fern repeated, taking hold of his hand.

-You're on At Attin, at the hospital. You've just come out of bacta. Can you speak?

Jod squinted and shook his head, trying to clear his vision. Finally, he focused on Fern's face, close to his.

-Yes.

He managed to say. He swallowed convulsively, trying to moist his dry mouth, and Fern brought a straw to his lips. It was water, deliciously refreshing water, and it slid down his parched throat, giving him relief.

-Fern...

He repeated. She kissed his lips and Jod grimaced. He could smell the strong smell of bacta that his body gave off. He touched his bare chest and looked down. They had made him lie on a bed next to the tank that was emptying. His chest, where he remembered being stabbed, had a new scar, still red and itching.

-I was injured. That bastard Neewra managed to stab me.

Fern sobbed and hugged him, smearing herself with bacta.

-You arrived two days ago. Pax took me to the Libertas infirmary. You were conscious but you were coughing up blood...!

Jod grimaced.

-Yes, now I remember. That bastard really roughed me up.

He brought a hand to his cheek, feeling the wrinkled skin.

-He bit me...

He lamented. She caressed his cheek.

-The oxygen mask covered the wound. There is a scar, but at least now you breathe well and you no longer cough up blood.

Fern looked still scared and was weeping silently. It was not something he ever wanted to see on her beautiful face again.

-Not only was I coughing up blood.

He informed her with a faint smile.

-He punched me in the balls. I even pissed blood for two days!

He tried to laugh but the laughter was weak and he coughed. He looked at the hand he had instinctively brought to his mouth, surprised to see it clean.

-You have good doctors, here on At Attin.

He commented in a light tone and finally she smiled through the tears.

-I really want to wash. When can I go home?

Finally, they had let him out of the hospital and Jod had gone straight to his house, near the supervisor's tower, accompanied by Fern who constantly kept a hand on his arm or shoulder, without losing even for a moment direct contact with him, as if letting him go had meant losing him. He was hungry and thirsty but the thing he longed for the most was a shower and Fern also accompanied him to the bathroom, helping him undress and insisted on washing him. Jod let her do it, relaxing under the jet of warm water and under the caresses of his girl's soapy hands. Afterwords, he looked at himself, naked, in the mirror. Fern stood behind him, dressed and with her shirt sleeves still rolled up.

The scar on his cheek was horrible. In many years he had gained many wounds, some serious, some that had left their indelible marks on his skin, but his face had always remained untouched. No more. A half-moon-shaped scar was on his cheekbone: he would carry the marks of the upper arch of Neewra's teeth on his face for the rest of his life. His trembling hand covered his cheek. Fern kissed his shoulder.

-Does it hurt?

-No.

Jod replied softly.

-It's ugly. Disfiguring.

Fern hugged him tightly from behind while Jod trembled.

-He scarred me...

 He whispered incredulous and embittered.

-It doesn’t matter.

She tried to console him but Jod stiffened.

-Easy for you to say!

He exclaimed angrily.

-You are young and beautiful while I... I...

Fern moved around him, placing herself between him and the mirror and kissed him on the mouth.

-You are mine. And in my eyes you are beautiful. Strong and powerful. Victorious.

Without ever wanting to, Jod became hard. He gulped. He remembered the twi'lke’s words, the disgusting image that they had put in his mind and that had made him lose control. Suddenly he was seized by a frenzy. He grabbed her, holding her close to him, kissing her violently.

-Fern...

He whispered hoarsely against her lips.

-I need, Fern... I need... Say yes, please...

-Yes.

She answered without hesitation and wriggled out of his grasp, taking him by the wrist and pulling him towards the bedroom. With a growl he was on top of her, tugging at her clothes and going so far as to rip her shirt as he took it off. Thankfully, Fern helping him undress her because Jod wasn't sure he would have the ability to stop if she weren’t willing, if she refused him.

-Help me Fern, help me...

He begged her, dropping down on the sheets, dragging her with him, creeping between her legs.

-What do you need?

He didn't answer her but put his hand between her legs, inserting two fingers into her without any preparation.

-I need you, I need you now.

She was wet but not wet enough and unfortunately Jod did not have the lucidity necessary to think about her. He had to have her, he had to possess her, make sure that she was still his, that she was safe, in his arms, under him, around him. He penetrated her and began to fuck her hard and fast and Fern let out a cry of pain but wrapped her legs around his hips, arching her back and offering herself to him.

Jod hid his face against her neck.

-Mine, mine, mine...

He repeated between one thrust and another, holding her tightly in his arms, imprisoning her under him, frightened by the idea that she could be taken away from him.

-I'm yours, I'm yours...

Fern was panting against his ear, trying to free her arms which he had taken hold of but then she gave up, just clinging to him with her legs, trying to keep up with his rhythm.

-He wanted... wanted...

His broken voice became an angry growl.

-He didn't even know what you looked like but he wanted you because you were mine... He said he was going to kill me and then rape you before killing you too.

His thrusts became even more frantic, more brutal and Fern stopped trying to keep up with him, to cooperate but let herself go to his embrace, relieved that at least it didn't hurt too much.

-He prefers… he preferred boys, he said he would rape you as he would do a man. Do you know how two men fuck?

Fern groaned, confused.

-I couldn't stand it, the mere thought...

He bit her hard. Fern writhed as she felt overwhelmed, while pleasure and pain mixed, and Jod finally stilled on top of her, his trembling muscles slowly relaxed and his hold loosened. He collapsed on her, taking her breath away and then he began to cry.

-I'm sorry Fern!

He moaned in a heartbroken tone, burying his face against her breasts, overcome by shame.

-Oh Force! I did it again! I didn't mean to hurt you again. I'm sorry.

He sobbed, and Fern took his face in her hands, lifting it up.

-Jod...look at me...

Jod kept his eyes closed. Fern wiped his wet eyelashes.

-Love, look at me.

Jod was shaken by a strong tremor and opened his eyes wide, amazed. Fern smiled at him.

-It’s ok. I love you, I thought I was going to lose you.

Jod wrapped himself all around her, seeking as much physical contact as possible, skin to skin. Fern embraced him with equal desperation. She had never experienced such a devastating sense of emptiness and helplessness as when she had been at Jod's bedside on the Libertas, while he struggled to breathe and coughed up blood.

When they had finally calmed down, Fern sat up, grimacing in pain. Jod, who was watching her intently, stiffened.

-Does it hurt somewhere, love?

She nodded, putting a hand around her neck. This time he had really bitten her, with his teeth, wounding her. Jod pushed her hand away and grimaced, stroking he wound with his fingertips.

-Force! I didn't intend to do it... You have the imprint of my teeth. I... I'll take the bacta.

Jod hurried to do as he had said, and Fern didn't have the courage to tell him that she felt sore and aching between her legs too, from the violence with which he had taken her.

She curled up in his arms as the bacta did its job, quickly healing the wound from the bite. Jod kissed her forehead and hair.

-I have to review with you all the methods to escape holds. You should have pushed me away. You should have ...

-Jod!

She interrupted him vehemently.

-I know how to do it. I could have stopped you if I wanted to. I could have hit you, neutralized you... I know at least three ways to break your arm, elbow, wrist from the position I was in. You taught me well, remember? No one can force me, not even you.

Jod trembled and squeezed her tightly in his arms.

-Are you sure, love? You're not saying this just to make me feel less guilty, are you?

-I love you.

Fern replied.

-And I'm glad I was able to give you something you needed.

Jod growled.

-Not this. Promise me that you will never let me do such a thing again. Swear it to me, Fern!

Fern pulled slightly away from him and looked into his face. There was uncertainty in her expression.

-I hope I won’t ever again need to. Do you think it will become a normal thing between us? It's the second time you've hurt me, Jod. Do you think that in the future I will have to defend myself from you?

Her voice broke and her eyes filled with tears.

-Do you plan to hurt me again? Does my pain give you pleasure?

Jod inhaled in surprise, his expression full of horror.

-No! I...

But Fern turned up the volume of her voice, preventing him from continuing.

-I thought you liked it only if I liked it, I thought things were different between us!

She stiffened in his arms and pushed him away.

-Nonono...! Fern! I love you! I don't mean to hurt you! Your pain gives me no pleasure, please, no!

She wriggled out of his arms and got up from his lap and he followed her, anguished, hugging her from behind and holding her close.

-No... Don't leave me, please!

Fern gripped his forearms wrapped around her waist, holding herself rigid in his embrace.

-You'll never hurt me again.

It was an order, not a request, and Jod nodded frantically.

-Yes, yes. Never again.

-I don't deserve pain.

Jod nodded again, suppressing a sob.

- I don't deserve for you to... to unload your pain on me. It doesn't work like that. We have to be happy together, I can help you feel better, but we have to feel better together, you must not make me feel worse to feel better.

-Never again.

Jod repeated, and finally Fern relaxed, tossing her head back, meeting his gaze and offering him her lips. Jod kissed her with a moan.

-Never again.

He repeated against her lips.

When Fern was gone, Jod dragged himself back to the bathroom: he felt the need for another shower. He stood in front of the mirror again, taking note of the new geography of his scars. As he looked at his face from various angles, he thought of Fern. She had been... wonderful and he had been a monster. He didn't know what had taken hold of him. He clung to the sink, closing his eyes. He thought back to her face, full of pain, the whimpers of distress she had made, and the way he had squeezed her, held her down, and ... Why couldn't he behave with her? Why was she the exception? He liked to pleasure his women, none of his lovers had ever manifested fear or pain in his bed. Why did Fern bring out the worst in him? And yet he loved her.

There couldn't be nothing wrong with Fern, she was really perfect...  the defective one must have been him but he didn't understand why, he didn't understand what had happened to transform him from the attentive lover who had seduced Fern to the violent man who had made her cry, who had hurt her. He thought feverishly about their relationship. Everything had gone well until they started having sex. Before, he had always let her control of their relationship, of the speed at which they proceeded, he had allowed her to command him and give him orders when they were in bed. But then, when they began to have regular intercourse, he took control. He was the one who decided when to make love, which position, he had... overwhelmed her with his constant desire for her. He had to entrust her internship to her mother because he was honest enough to admit, at least to himself, that if he had her around, he would have ended up fucking her on his desk every day. He was perpetually all over her, he wanted her at all times, if his biology would had allowed it he would have spent day in and day out with his cock buried in her cunt. But perhaps, Jod considered with growing anguish, it was not the same for Fern. She didn't make love with the same desperation, the same frenzy. She met his desire but it was rarely the one that made the first move. Perhaps his terror at the idea of her being taken away from him stemmed from the knowledge that she was not really his. Fern was the last woman he would love but he, Jod, was not going to be the last for her: their age difference made that a certainty. Fern was young and could have changed her mind, she could have decided she didn't want him anymore and left him. Jod would have been destroyed. He had invested in her, in their relationship, all of himself and she was not as involved as he was.

He had to bind her to him inextricably. Jod bit his lip, frowning. Nothing would guarantee their union except her love. Marriages could be dissolved, a child would have been a bridge that would have guaranteed that she would never forget him but would not have made her stay and in any case he did not want children. He had to keep her in love with him, he absolutely had to curb that dark instinct that led him to hurt her every time he felt unwell. She had been right: every time he had suffered, instead of turning the pain and anger on himself, as he had been used to before her, he had poured it over Fern. Instead of hurting himself, he had hurt her and that had to stop, at the cost of returning to his bad habits.

-Never again.

He promised to the mirror.

Fern had been reluctant to go back to work the next day, still reeling from what had happened with Jod. Her mother attributed her silence and nervous look to the fact that Jod had come close to death and Fern did not contradict her. In the end she decided to go to the office: the idea of staying at home all day, waiting for the afternoon and spending the morning thinking about how she would face Jod again, filled her with anguish. When she left the house with her mother, however, she found Jod waiting for them, leaning on a transport, in the company of Pax and some of his men.

-I'm sorry to ruin the plans you had for the morning. But I have to steal Fern from you.

He held out a hand to her, with an indecipherable expression. Fern looked at her mother, who shook her head slightly. She pursed her lips and walked towards Jod, accepting his outstretched hand. He helped her get into the transport.

-Excellent.

Then he turned to Fara.

-I don't know how long it will take. Don't wait up for us.

Jod led her to the Libertas and only when they were in the bridge, the pirates at their posts and she at his side, Jod spoke.

-Broadcast to the entire ship.

He ordered, then sat down in the command chair and clung the armrests with his gloved hands.

-Here is Captain Silvo speaking. Mates..... as you know, there was a skirmish with Neewra and some of his men a few days ago. I was only injured while Neewra died. Usually, I would celebrate but celebrations, alas, in this case are premature. We won but his corvette, the Malleus, escaped under the command of his first officer.

Jod clenched his fists and his expression as well as his voice hardened, and he curled his lips into a cruel smirk.

-We will pursue and kill them, to the last pirate, without giving respite and without accepting surrenders.

Fern looked at him in horror.

-The Malleus is now led by Neewra's sister who will certainly not rest until she has avenged her brother. Well, let her come! I'm not afraid of her! I'm going to kill her as I killed that foul swine and I'm going to kill her whole crew! They wanted to take At Attin and our gold! They wanted to take our lives! We will not give them the opportunity to do so! We will strike first and we will teach a lesson to all those who want to take what is ours: you don't mess with us. We'll show them why my name is Silvo the Mad, we'll show them why some people still know me as Crimson Jack! Crimson as the blood we are going to spill!

The pirates present exploded in a roar of approval and Jod collapsed back in his chair, with a triumphant expression, enjoying the ovation of his crew.

-We are pirates.

He affirmed, for the benefit of those who were on the bridge with him.

-We'll show them how pirates behave when you try to rob them.

His men and women smiled approvingly but when he turned to Fern she was frozen and her expression was somewhere between incredulous and nauseated. With a leap, Jod got up and in a few steps he was by her side.

-Pax! Recall the crew from the planet, we will leave only the number of men necessary to keep At Attin. I want everyone who can fight to be recalled back on board. By tomorrow I want the ship to be ready to leave. Contact me only if strictly necessary.

He took Fern by the hand, relieved that she did not resist, and led her away.

-We have to talk Fern.

Fern looked at him.

-Who are you?

She asked him in a whisper, pale and distraught. Jod froze in the hallway, turning to look at her quizzically.

-I’m sorry? What would you mean by who I am?

Fern frowned assuming a concerned stance.

-It's as if you were two different people. Are you Jod or are you Captain Silvo?

He looked at her in askance and then shook his head.

-Let's go to my cabin. We have to talk…

He repeated.

-… alone and without interruptions.

Fern let him lead her and only when they were alone in Jod's cabin did he lower his shoulders and sighed, disconsolate.

-I shouldn't have dragged you to the Libertas and let you know about this like that, while I was telling everyone else. I'm sorry. We are partners, we should decide things together, but this... this is a pirate matter and you... you, my love, are not a pirate. You don't think like a pirate, thanks the Force.

He looked into her eyes. A few meters separated them in the cramped cabin.

-What did you mean by asking me who I am?

Fern rubbed her eyes and forehead and sat on the bed.

-There, at the bridge... the one who talked about killing and defending the gold you stole... that was Silvo, the pirate captain who attacked At Attin four years ago... It's the man who locked me in this cabin, who said he would keep me, like I was a thing instead of a person, for years until I got old enough to be raped.

Jod's eyes widened and he staggered, falling to his knees at her feet.

-Fern...!

He exclaimed in a choked tone. Fern stroked his cheek.

-Now, here with me, there is Jod. The man who let me go, the man who fell in love with me and who courted me until I fell in love with him too. The man who is kind and caring and makes love to me with sweetness, who loves me and whom I love. Silvo, on the other hand, is cruel.

Fern's voice cracked at the last word and Jod closed his eyes, bowing his head and kissing the palm of her hand still resting on his cheek.

-I'm sorry my love. We are not two different people. It's always me, I'm the same man. I wish I could lie to you and say you're right...

If he had lied, if he had let her have that illusion, everything would have been easier but Jod did not want it to be easy, he wanted it to be true: being true was the only way that would ensure that what they had would last.

-People are not like that... they are neither good nor evil. I... I am a wicked man who is good to you. With you I want to be a good man, to be Jod Na Nawood, who once dreamed of becoming a Jedi but that boy, who wanted to become that man, is no longer hale: he fractured into Jod, Jack, Silvo and others, many others. I am Silvo, the pirate who lies, kills and steals. I wore that name, that identity, not because it was a mask to hide behind but because it is part of me!

Taken by a sudden inspiration, he stood up and took off his gloves, jacket and then shirt, remaining bare-chested and turned around, giving his back to her and sitting on the ground, at her feet.

-You asked me how I got those burns. I didn't want to talk about it.

He swallowed, trembling.

-It happened when she died, when she was killed in front of me.

He closed his eyes and threw his head back. It was his worst memory, he would have spoken more willingly about the times he had had to prostitute himself to eat rather than revealing the failure, the useless waste of space and resources that he had shown himself to be on that day. He was nothing and he was about to confess it to the most important person in his life after her.

-She was training me, she called me her padawan, she said I had potential... She was so proud of me, no one had ever looked at me like that, as if I was something special, precious and worthy. She made me feel safe, happy. She is... she is the closest thing to a mother I have ever had, even if I never had the courage to tell her. If I think of the word mother, it is her face that comes to mind.

Fern stroked his head and put a hand on his shoulder. Jod squeezed it, intertwining their fingers.

-She taught me... everything. Not only about the Force. We talked about the galaxy, politics, art and music. She taught me to cook, to mend the tears in our clothes, to bargain with merchants, to read and write. And I killed her.

His voice broke and Jod had to stop as silent sobs stilled his breath. He bit the inside of his cheek to regain control.

-We were hiding in the countryside and we made the mistake of staying longer than usual. We seemed just a refugee with her son, looking for a safe place. Yet someone must have said something that made the Imperials suspicious. Maybe they heard us talk about the Force, maybe they saw her teaching me.

He clasped Fern's hand convulsively.

-Perhaps, had the troops came, we might have flee. But no troops came. An Inquisitor did.

Jod swallowed, breathing deeply.

-She was helping in the fields and I was in the village, working in a craftsman's shop. The Inquisitor came to me. He killed Bosio, cut off his head with his sword. It was red. I was bent over the basket I was weaving, I heard the hum of the lightsabre, familiar, comforting because I had always associated it with her and a moment later Bosio's head detached from his body and fell. He didn't say a word to me. He grabbed me with the Force, I couldn't move but I could scream. He dragged me to the main street and I fell on my face to the ground. I still remember, as if it had happened yesterday, the taste of dust in my mouth. He put his foot on my back and put his sabre to my shoulder, burning me. Again and again. I begged, I asked why, I asked who he was, what he wanted but he didn't answer. It wasn't me he wanted. Padawans and their masters have a bond, you know? I always knew where she was, what her emotions were, we could even exchange images and sensations consciously. She felt my pain, she felt my fear and came running.

Jod laughed, a blank and horrible laugh.

-How do you make a dangerous animal fell into a trap? It's obvious: you make her puppy scream. The mother always arrives!

Fern slid down the bed, curled up on the floor against his back and hugged him from behind.

-I was weeping and screaming, blinded by pain, when she arrived. She begged him to let me go, not to hurt me; they knew each other. He laughed. He said that he was no longer a Jedi, that he no longer responded to that name. But he said that if she let herself be killed, he would let me live. She could have tried to fight, she could have tried to escape and instead she knelt in the dust in that street in the middle of nowhere, on a planet that mattered not and let him kill her. He let me go, I could move but I stayed there, on the dust, watching. He put his sabre through her chest, staring into her eyes, enjoying her pain, and then cut off her head. He kicked the head, making it to roll... her hair...

Jod sobbed.

-Her beautiful hair was all dirty. He extinguished his sword and crouched in front of me. He lifted my head and looked at me... His eyes... they were terrible. Full of hatred and anger. He smiled at me. He asked me if I wanted to die too, like her, if I was her padawan: the order was to kill all the Jedi and all the Padawan. I was afraid and I was crying. I said no, that I didn't want to die, that she wasn't my teacher, that I wasn't her padawan, I begged him to spare me. I reminded him that he had promised her that he would spare me if she did not resist. "What a useless thing you are!" he told me. "Weak and cowardly. You were not worthy of her, you would never have become a knight, in my time, there is too much fear in you". He got up and I was left crying and begging at his feet. He said it wasn't even worth taking me back with him to finish my training. That I was pathetic and too weak. He left, dragging the corpse and the severed head with him. I crawled to our hut but he had already been there. He had taken all her things, even her lightsabre. The villagers dressed my shoulder: the lightsabre cauterizes therefore my burns did not get infected but they hurt so much... They sent me away as soon as I could stand up on my own feet: they were afraid that the Inquisitor would return.

He felt Fern trembling against his back. Fern was good and he knew she was hurting for him, she was too good to really see what kind of person he was, what a useless waste he was.

-I wandered around for a while. I moved from one spaceport to another, stealing and scamming. I'm a good thief. I'm good at lying. Pirates found me when I managed to steal their money. I thought they were going to kill me but instead they just beat me up a bit. They were amused and said I was talented. They asked me if I wanted to join them.

Jod shrugged.

-I said yes. I had nowhere to go, no hope, no prospects. It was nice to be part of something. There is a certain camaraderie in a crew of pirates. There is always the risk of being killed by your mates but there is ... belonging, understanding. We are made of the same stuff, we understand each other. There is a moral, or an absence of morality, which is... understandable, which can be followed. I felt accepted. I was good at lying, stealing, killing... the Force improves your aim, you know? I rose through the ranks. If she could have seen the man I have become... perhaps she would have been horrified. But this is my place, this is where I feel right in my own skin. Among the pirates, the mercenaries. Those who have no scruples nor morals. I like being the captain of Libertas. I like to give orders to my crew, I like how they depend on me.

-Would you choose me?

Fern interrupted, whispering against his bare back.

-If you were forced to choose between them and me, between the Libertas and At Attin. Would you choose me?

Jod was silent for a moment and then turned around, pulling her into his arms and onto his lap.

-I hope I never have to choose. Because I would choose you.

Fern hugged him tightly.

-Really?

She asked in an uncertain tone, through tears.

-I love you Fern. Maybe you don't realize how much I love you. You don’t realize how much of myself I’ve put into our relationship. I like to picture our future together. I have many plans, and each one includes you. Some of them don’t include the Libertas and my crew. You are a part of me, the best part of me. I need you. And I'm constantly afraid of losing you.

Fern shook her head and tried to speak.

-No, listen. I'm not a good man, Fern. Do you think I am?

She nodded and he shook his head.

-No, I'm not and if you don't realize this I'll end up disappointing you. I am a wicked man and I do evil things, and I ask you to love me all the same. I know it's difficult, I know you may not understand. You are good.

He looked around, taking in his cabin.

-This is a mistake.

He whispered and Fern let out a whimper of dismay.

-No, not you, you are not a mistake, loving you is not a mistake, but bringing you here is. This is not your place, the Libertas is not a place for you. There is no honour among thieves, among murderers. I don't want you to become like me. I have to keep you away from this life. I wanted to take you with me to hunt down the Malleus but I can't. You are not like that: you are not ruthless, you are not cruel. I have to take you back to your mother.

She took on a ferocious expression and clawed at his shoulders.

-No, I'll stay with you!

She kissed him with her lips and teeth.

-Together Jod. We stand together. I’m part of you, right? You won't leave me behind.

He looked at her with resignation.

-You don't like this part of me. The violent part. You feel horror, fear.

He shuddered.

-I could become violent with you again. I have never been, with any of the women I have had relationships with. I had violent sex but they were consenting, they wanted it too. I have never behaved with them as I do with you, yet I have never loved them.

-Do you want to hurt me now?

She asked him, frowning but without fear.

-No, by the Abyss, Fern! I never wanted to hurt you! But I'm a violent, evil man and you're good and you don't deserve...

-You're right: I don't deserve this.

Fern asserted firmly.

-Do you still love me?

Jod asked in a faint voice.

-Yes, Jod!

Fern exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

-I love you just as you are.

Jod slumped against her in relief.

-But I don't deserve to be treated cruelly. You're right: I don't like it when you're violent. You have to stop hurting me.

He nodded against her shoulder.

-But don't cut me off from this part of you.

He shook his head.

-Fern...

He admonished her.

-No. I'll stay with you. I don't like your violent side but I love you and violence is part of you. Don't leave me behind, don't walk away.

Fern took a deep breath.

-I'll go with you to hunt down the Malleus. But I will not participate in any massacre. I will fight by your side but I will not kill those who surrender.

-I will.

Jod warned her gloomily.

-It's not simply a desire for revenge, Fern. It is sheer calculation. If I let go the Malleus and Neewra's crew, I look weak and others might try to challenge me. If I'm resolute and terrifying now, I'll have peace for a while, at least until the fear of me has passed.

-You aren’t doing it for me, are you?

Fern asked in a faint voice.

-When... when... yesterday, while you... You said he threatened me.

Jod swallowed, staring into her eyes, Fern was looking lost and sorrowful as she talked about the day before.

-You can't even speak about what I did to you yesterday and you want to come with me and stand watch as I kill?

He asked her in a harsh tone. Fern's gaze hardened.

-You said that Neewra had threatened to rape me while we were having sex.

Jod grimaced.

-Yes. He threatened you. But I didn't attack him for that. I had already decided to kill him. He had been sniffing around the Libertas for months like a mastiff in heat. No: I’m not doing this for you.

Fern looked relieved.

-But I have to admit...

Jod continued in a hoarse tone, caressing her cheek and brushing her lips with a finger.

-That what made me lose my mind was precisely that threat.

-So why did you hurt me, as he wanted to hurt me?

Fern asked him in a desperate tone. Jod laughed cynically.

-Oh, love. I didn't do what he wanted to do to you, in the slightest.

He had an almost crazy look on his face, and Fern swallowed, pushing back her fear. He had warned her, he had told her that he was an evil man but she didn't really believe him. Jod was a wounded man and if she showed fear, it would be impossible to convince him that he was wrong about himself.

-You're still so innocent... I have not exposed you in the least to the perversions of men, you have no idea what a man and a woman can do, two men and a woman, two women and a man... There are infinite combinations, infinite pleasures and pains.

Fern blinked quickly, trying to mask how young and inadequate she felt right now.

-Do you know that I thought about it too, to take you like that?

Jod whispered with an unhinged smile, as if he were confiding a secret to her.

-I fucked your mouth and cunt and one thing remains...

Fern looked at him, confused. She didn't understand what he was referring to and it showed in her face. Jod sighed and the monster that peeked at her through his eyes took a step back and he massaged his forehead.

-So innocent.

He repeated and Fern got offended: Jod's tone was almost plaintive, as if being innocent were a failing.

-Educate me, then!

She challenged him and he snorted, amused and shaking his head.

-Don't dismiss me like that!

Fern replied in a shrill tone. Jod tilted his head, evaluating her.

-If you really want to. But not now: it takes time and extreme attention. Now there is no time and I am not in the right state of mind to prepare you with the care needed for you not to get hurt.

He smiled at her, this time sweetly as she took a stubborn expression.

-We'll talk about it when we go back, if you still want to do it after I've explained how it works.

-Like between two men, right?

She asked, frowning.

-And do you know how two men fuck?

He asked her in an ironic tone.

-No, but I wondered. Can you explain it to me?

-Not now!

He interrupted her, seeing the curiosity on her face. He got up and put his shirt back on.

-Now is the time for revenge and murder. Pleasure and love will have to wait.

He stopped to look at her, weighing her, as he put his gloves back on.

-Are you sure you want to come with me while I hunt the Malleus?

He asked her in an uncertain tone. Fern nodded firmly.

-All right.

Jod sighed and then raised an eyebrow.

-But you are telling your mother!

Chapter Text

X.

The hunt for the Malleus was not the quick affair Fern had believed it to be. Vear was more cautious than her brother and refused to engage the Libertas, preferring to flee each time.

-By doing so, she will lose the respect of her crew.

Jod had confided to her.

-If she continues to run away, there is a good chance that someone will eliminate her and try to strike a cease-fire with us.

-And which option is preferable? That she engages us in battle or that they kill her and surrender?

Fern had asked him and Jod had answered with a crooked smile.

-If they surrender it will be easier to kill them all.

They shared the cabin and the bed but she was no longer confined there, she could move freely around the frigate and she did, both by herself and in Jod’s company. His men and women respected her and even Pax took orders from her. When Jod sat in his chair, on the bridge, she stood by his side, leaning on his shoulder. In front of his pirates, he almost never touched her, as if to emphasize the difference in status when she was his concubine. The only thing he did was hold her hand, sometimes.

Fern felt like he treated her as his equal, but she was reluctant to behave like him: since the Libertas had left At Attin, Jod had worn the identity of Silvo the Mad or perhaps someone even worse. Fern heard the pirates whispering, and what they said was that they had never seen their captain so angry and vengeful. His gaze was always hard and uncompromising.

As anticipated, he had given no quarter and in the clashes he had with the Malleus he had hit the corvette without caring about the damage it caused to his own ship. If the fights took place between individual fighters, he was ruthless and ordered that the fighters left behind by the fleeing enemy ship were destroyed even if the pirate inside was still alive.

-Why can't we accept their surrender? Why can't we abandon them on some planet?

Fern had asked, desperate. They were alone in their cabin: Jod had begged her never to contradict him nor question his decisions in front of his crew.

-I have already told you.

Jod had replied with the exasperated tone of someone who has already repeated the same thing many times.

-They serve as an example, so for a while no one will try the same.

-But...

-Fern, trust me, I know what I do.

-But...

Fern had insisted.

-… If you abandon them somewhere, an isolated place, no one will know.

Jod had let out a growl full of frustration, rubbing his temples.

-My crew would know! And it would be even worse: I would look like a swindler, someone who acts tough but who is actually weak. I would lose their esteem and they would mutiny! Can it Fern, I've been a pirate since before you were born, it's the thing I do best!

He had turned his back on her, gnashing his teeth and stiffening all his muscles. He was angry but didn't want to fight with her. He leaned with his hands on the table, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose. Fern tried to hug him from behind and he moved away with a sudden movement.

-No! Don't touch me!

He stepped back to the wall and opened up to the Force. He feared that he would become violent, that his emotions would overwhelm him. Above all, he feared that his anger would inflame his passion, but it would be a dark and destructive passion. He closed again his eyes and focused inward. He turned his anger into a blade and turned it towards himself, towards his connection to the Force. He cut at it and it was painful. He cut deeper still, and the Force and its agitated currents screamed before suddenly falling silent. The relief that followed that pain was immediate. He opened his eyes. Pain and pleasure, horror and euphoria danced at the edge of his mind. Fern was still with her arm outstretched towards him and Jod stepped up to her, wrapping her in a hug.

-Jod?

She asked in a confused tone.

-It's all right.

He reassured her.

-I'm not angry. I was but I’m not anymore. I must admit that it is not nice to be questioned. But now I'm calm.

Now he was harmless. All his emotions were distant. He kissed her forehead. The scent of her hair was intoxicating, and he felt his body react.

-Fern...

He whispered through her hair.

-I want you. I won't hurt you, I swear...

He lifted her face and kissed her, gently. It was what she expected from him. He calmly pushed her towards the bed. She did not resist but returned her kiss, arching towards him. He sat her on the edge and knelt between her legs. His excitement was distant, perceptible but manageable. The will to make her happy remained. Making her happy, keeping her fulfilled and content, it was important.

-Jod... What happened? A moment ago you were... Now you are different. No one calms down so quickly.

-I love you.

He replied mechanically. It was the right thing to say. It was true, he loved her, he wanted to make her happy. That would make her happy. He unbuttoned her pants.

-I want to please you. I like how you taste.

She helped him slip off her pants and let herself fall back on the sheets as he dived between her thighs. He give her pleasure with his tongue, she was as delicious as always and Jod moaned. Sexual desire was still a distant feeling but at that moment it was the clearest emotion and closest one to his mind. He opened his pants and freed himself, looking for relief, synchronizing the thrusts against his clenched fist with the movements of his tongue.

-Jod...!

Fern shouted, lifting her back from the mattress. Her moans of pleasure increased his gratification. Whatever had troubled him and caused him to cripple himself, quited down. Now it was safe to let his emotions back, but Jod was so content in his oasis of apathy that he didn't want to.

-Please, I want you...! I want more!

-Tell me, I want to hear you say it: what do you want?

-I want to make love to you.

Fern moaned, writhing.

-Do you want my cock?

She gasped.

-Do you want it in your beautiful cunt, so deep that you can't think of anything else?

-Yes, yes, yesyesyes...

Fern sobbed, and Jod climbed into bed with her, pulling his pants down to his thighs.

-Then take what you want.

He invited her, lying on his back, holding himself in hand. She climbed on top of him and guided his member into her body. Jod moaned loudly sinking into her heat and she too let out a sharp cry of pleasure. Then she began to move.

-Like this.

He encouraged her, grabbing her by the hips.

-Take your pleasure, fuck me!

She obeyed, moaning open-mouthed, moving faster and faster until she froze with a long, deep moan. She lay down on his chest, trembling and still feeling him hard and throbbing inside her.

-Jod? You don't...?

He kissed her forehead and reversed their positions, stepping out of her body and kneeling between her legs, propping himself up with one hand while working furiously on himself with the other. After a while he let out a frustrated sound and let himself fall back on the bed next to her, while he softened. He threw an arm across his eyes.

-Forgive me Fern.

She pushed his arm away.

-What happened? What’s wrong?

Fern's voice was thin and worried. Jod probed the boundaries of his mind. The storm had subsided. He slowly repaired the broken bridge with the Force and it flew back into him and around him. The world was in focus again, the colours were brighter, the girl who hugged him more real, the smell of sex in the air arousing again.

-Nothing, nothing happened. Sorry if I didn't... it's the age. You deserve a younger man.

It was a lie plain and simple and for a moment he felt guilty. She made a strange expression and then looked down.

-You're getting hard again.

She remarked. Jod swallowed. Now that he had his emotions back again, the desire was returning. He was aroused once more. He grabbed her breast.

-It happens.

He tried to justify himself, happy for once that she was inexperienced and therefore she couldn't catch his lie.

-Can I? Would you like to try again?

She smiled at him.

-Yes.

They made love slowly, often changing positions and kissing non-stop. Jod managed to get her to come one more time, before he too climaxed and then, resting and hugging her, he breathed a silent sigh of relief for having avoided the consequences of his anger.

Unfortunately, the discussion on how to deal with the enemy did not end there. Fern continued to protest, to propose alternative solutions that were absolutely not feasible and if on the one hand Jod found her idealism and innocence cute, on the other he was frustrated that she was immovable. They had never quarrelled before and begun to right in the cramped environment of their cabin. Jod tried never to raise his voice and let her be the one who always started the fight. Every time she stormed out of their cabin in anger, to go and let off some steam somewhere else in Libertas, far from him, he was relieved. She was always the one who came back to make peace even if she rarely apologized to him. Their reconciliations were spectacular and fulfilling, but Jod still felt uncomfortable arguing. He was pretty sure that his crew had also noticed that things were not going well between them but they were pretending nothing strange was happening.

Tragedy stroke when finally, as Jod had predicted, the Malleus surrendered. Vaer's first officer had led a mutiny but, contrary to what Jod had anticipated, he had not killed her but taken her prisoner, to give her to him as a peace offering while they stipulated a truce.

-You will deactivate your weapons and prepare to be boarded.

Jod had ordered from the command chair, after accepting the surrender of the corvette.

-Do we have an agreement, Silvo?

The new captain of the Malleus had asked him. Jod had smiled savagely and then lied through his teeth.

-Of course.

He had replied in an affable tone, meeting the eyes of his men on the bridge, who knew very well what their captain's plans were for the enemy ship. His communications officer had interrupted the broadcast and then turned to him, full of expectation. Everyone on the bridge vibrated, waiting for the order that would start the massacre. Jod had opened his mouth, raising a hand to give the order to attack, when Fern put her hand on his shoulder.

-Please...

She whispered to him, and yet in the silence his men could very well hear her every word.

-It doesn't have to end like this, you’re still in time to change your mind.

In anger, Jod shook her hand off his shoulder, standing up.

-Fire! Hit the engines, the Malleus doesn't get the opportunity to flee into hyperspace!

Fern covered her mouth with her hands, smothering her cry as the Libertas began to rain down death on the corvette. The Malleus returned fire, and the frigate was shaken by the shots.

-The Malleus is trying to contact us, captain!

His communications officer exclaimed and Jod bared his teeth.

-Reject any communication. Their hyperdrive is damaged. They can't go anywhere: now they are ours!

The bridge filled with alarms and flashing lights as his men listed the systems that were being damaged by enemy fire. Jod did not answer, tense as he observed the Malleus progressively stopping to return fire. Fern grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket.

-Please stop!

She begged him, tugging at him, trying to make him turn towards her.

-Jod!

Hearing her call him by name, their name, the one that only she was allowed to use, broke something in him, like a pulled rope that can no longer withstand the tension to which it was subjected. Fern was contradicting him in front of his crew, she was trying to use their relationship to influence his decisions. For the second time, she was using his attraction to her against him. She was making him lose face, damaging his reputation.

-Enough, woman!

He turned to face her in anger, lifting his arm and making his hand arc in the air, hitting her in the face.

That moment seemed to last forever as time slowed down. The back of his hand collided with her head, making a noise that resonated in his ears. Then she fell backwards, tripping and ending up on the floor. She brought a trembling hand to her face, where he had hit her, her mouth open and her eyes wide in an expression of disbelief. Jod was also incredulous. He looked with horror at his own hand, as if he did not understand what it was doing there, stretched out in the air, and then at her. He shook his head.

-No...

He whispered hoarsely. At that moment an exulting ovation rose behind him. He turned and watched the Malleus explode in a ball of fire.

-Escape pods have been ejected. What do we do, Captain? Do we shoot them down?

A gloating pirate asked, sure of Jod's affirmative answer. He nodded.

-No survivors.

He confirmed in a gloomy tone. Then he turned to Fern but she was no longer on the bridge.

As if in a trance, while his crew rejoiced and cheered, Jod headed to his cabin. He sat down on the bed, feeling his limbs heavy, and stared at the door, waiting for her to return. He didn't know what he was going to say to her, he couldn't come up with any apologies at that moment. There was only a persistent ringing in his ears, and in his mind was imprinted the image of her expression as she stood at his feet after he hit her. He didn't know how long he waited but after some time his communicator chimed. He took it in his hand, even though he didn't believe she would contact him like that. It was Pax.

-Captain... you were gone... I waited a few hours but the crew was getting nervous and so I gave the order to head to Porto Borgo. Did I do well?

Jod nodded even though the other couldn't see him.

-You did well, Pax.

He confirmed in a flat tone.

-The crew deserve a prize after the last few weeks of hunting. I want a report of the damage, let me have it as soon as possible.

-Of course, captain!

Pax replied enthusiastically.

-Anything else captain?

Jod swallowed, hating to appear weak but desperate enough to ask.

-Has anyone seen Fern?

-A moment captain, I’ll ask.

The line became silent.

-Yes, sir. They saw her get on the Onyx Cinder. She never came out.

Jod panicked.

-The ship?

He thundered.

-Did she take the ship?

-No, captain!

His first officer hastened to reassure him.

-The ship is still in the hangar. She just got on board. If she had started the engines or tried to ask permission to leave, we would have contacted you immediately.

Jod pushed down the lump in his throat.

-Good job, Pax. You have acted very well. I'm proud of you.

-Thank you, captain!

Even through the communicator, Jod could perceive how pleased and gratified Pax was for his praise.

-Silvo out.

Jod stood up on trembling legs and took a step toward the door. Then he stopped, biting his lip, unsure of what course of action to take: was it better to wait in their cabin for her to decide to return of her own free will or was it better to go and look for her? He owed her an apology, he had to crawl at her feet and beg her forgiveness. Was it better to do it immediately or wait a while? Jod would have gladly waited until the end of time but he breathed a sigh of resignation: the longer he waited, the more there was the risk that Fern would misinterpret his silence and believe that he was not sorry for his actions.

The ramp of the Onyx Cinder was down and Jod climbed it with a heavy step, noisily announcing his presence but Fern did not show up. He went to the cockpit and found it empty. The captain's cabin was also empty, and Jod was somewhat relieved by it. Fern had not wanted to set foot there since the disastrous time in which she had had a panic attack entering it. At least she wasn't brooding over how inadequate he was by digging up his past sins against her.

He found her in the first mate's cabin, the one they had turned into their cabin, lying on her side and giving him her back, curled up on the bed where they had made love many times. It was impossible that she had not heard him enter. He slowly approached the bed and sat down on the mattress, next to her.

-Fern...

He whispered, reluctant to use a higher tone of voice, painfully aware of the fragility of that moment. Her shoulders trembled. Jod put his hand on her back.

-I'm sorry love... Talk to me, even if only to insult me.

She turned to him slowly. He thought he would be met with her tears but her empty eyes were even worse. She had a red bruise that would soon turn purple on her cheekbone. Jod lifted the hand he wasn’t touching her with, showing her what he was holding.

-I brought you some bacta...

-So I'll be unmarked the next time you want to beat me? I guess it's hard to admire your handwork if the bruises pile up.

She replied in a venomous tone as her eyes and expression filled with anger. Jod jerked and closed his eyes, overwhelmed with shame.

-I'm sorry.

He repeated, knowing, as he pronounced them, that his apologies were insufficient and very inadequate in the face of his crime.

Fern wrenched the bandage from his hand and applied it to the spot that in the last few hours had been pounding in concert with her wounded heart. The relief was immediate, too bad there was no cure for a broken heart.

-I don't know what has gotten into me, I swear to you Fern! I didn't mean to do that!

Jod’s voice was desperate and his expression was just as upset. But he wasn't the one with the bacta pressed against her face, Fern thought acidly.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Her nostrils flared with anger and her right hand shot forward, connecting with his face. One moment he was apologizing, the next he was on the floor, screaming, blood running from his nose and staining his lips and hands. He felt Fern more than he saw her, as she got out of bed and knelt by his side. He instinctively dodged when she touched his face, but Fern simply pushed his hands away.

-I think I broke your nose.

She murmured in a trembling voice. He looked into her face, expecting to see her anger or at least her satisfaction for having had her just revenge, but her eyes were filled with unwept tears. Fern sniffed.

-Hold on...

She grabbed his nasal septum and jerked it back into place in one swift, decisive motion. Jod let out a high-pitched shout, and Fern made a nauseated expression.

-I wish you had never taught me that.

She commented, then put the bacta that she had kept pressed against her temple on his face.

-You need it more than me.

She commented, wiping away a tear. Jod was stunned and she helped him back on the mattress.

-I thought that returning the favour, hurting you as you had hurt me, would make me feel better. And instead I feel worse. How can you live like this? How can it be that your first instinct, when things go wrong, to hurt those around you?

She asked him in a desperate tone. Jod took a cloth from his pocket and pressed it under his nostrils. He was still bleeding a little but he felt the swelling fade quickly.

-I don't know... You have to believe me!

He begged her in a nasal voice.

-I love you, you are the most important person in my life. I can't believe I did it. I promise you it won't happen again!

His vow, instead of reassuring her, enraged her. She got up and began to walk up and down the cabin, wrapping her arms around her torso.

-How can I believe you?

She finally exploded, turning to him with clenched fists.

-How many times will you make that promise? How many more times will you break it?

Jod grimaced.

-Are you on spice?

She asked him suddenly and he looked at her with his mouth open.

-No! What...? What made you believe that?

She shot him a hard look.

-Ever since I got on the Libertas you've been behaving strangely. You have violent mood swings. You're angry and then, suddenly, quiet and serene. As if you could erase... cancel... all your emotions. It scares me, it worries me but I've never told you before because... because I'm afraid to talk to you about it! You are unapproachable, unpredictable. I struggle to recognize you.

Jod swallowed, speechless. The silence between them stretched and finally Fern let out a cry of frustration.

-You don't even talk to me! We do nothing but fight and then have sex. You're weird, you don't tell me anything but you want me to obey you without questions! You don't accept my opinions if they conflict with yours, you don't even want to hear them! What you just did... I didn't think you'd ever do that!

Fern's voice became a disconsolate wail.

-You said you loved me too much to even lift a finger against me! When KB stole the Onyx Cinder, I asked you to hit me and you refused. Only to hit me now, when I trusted you so much that I thought it would never happen!

Jod bowed his head, guilty.

-I'm sorry. I know you're tired of hearing me repeat it, I know that for you my "I'm sorry" has little value and that my promises to never do it again ring hollow... But I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. I don't know how it could have happened. I lost control of myself. Are you afraid of me? I am afraid of myself! Every time we fight and you leave, I am relieved because I am afraid of what I could do to you. Far from me you are safe but if you are far from me, I can't breathe! I'm so afraid of losing you that I'd do anything to make you stay with me, even...

Jod pressed his lips, emitting a wounded cry.

-What?

She pressed him.

-What would you be willing to do?

Jod stared at the floor between them.

-To control my emotions, to cancel them, as you say... I use a trick I learned many years ago. The Force makes me feel everything more intensely and so I... I separate myself from the Force.

Jod lifted his face and spoke quickly, as if he couldn't wait to confess what he was doing.

-The Force is everywhere, in everything and in every person. I, being sensitive to the Force, feel it in everything and in every person. It is… overwhelming. When I use it, when I let myself be filled ... It's a constant battle to separate me from everything else. This is why the Jedi meditated. To control themselves. They emptied themselves of all emotion and that way they managed to use the Force with an empty and free mind.

He made a discouraged sound and ran a hand through his hair.

-I’m not explaining myself well...

He sighed.

-What I do is similar, only instead of emptying myself of all emotion I empty myself of the Force. I cut it away, I push it away, so to speak. It works: I didn't attack you anymore.

Fern looked at him in horror.

-You can't push your emotions away. You’re... unbalanced, without brakes and without supports, like a ship with a broken navigator. How can you judge what is happening, how can you make a sensible decision, if you are empty, if you do not feel emotions?

Jod frowned.

-The Jedi have been doing it for centuries.

He defended himself. Fern rubbed her forehead.

-Don't you realize that your cutting yourself off from the Force is the cause of your instability? That your mood swings and incomprehensible actions began when you started trying not to feel emotions anymore? The fewer emotions you feel, the more dangerous you are and the more dangerous you consider yourself, the more you isolate yourself from your emotions. It's madness and it has to stop!

-But it works.

Jod stubbornly insisted.

-I didn’t attack you again!

She raised her face to the ceiling and let out an inarticulate scream of frustration. Then she stopped in front of him, knelt at his feet, and pointed a finger at the bruise he had inflicted on her.

-Do you think that your method works? Really? And how do you explain this? You hit me Jod. I don't know if it's worse or better than the times you've been violent with me in bed. At least those times you didn't realize what you were doing, you were overwhelmed by passion. But now? The next time you get mad at me... what will you do? What should I expect? Of being beaten or raped?

Jod flinched.

-No, please, don't say that.

He pleaded.

-I love you. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want you to be afraid of me!

She wiped her eyes.

-Where is the man who brought me to that island? The man who made love to me with so much sweetness? The man who worried about hurting me and was glad to hear me laugh?

-I'm here!

He moaned, placing a hand on her cheek. The same hand with which he had hit her. His fingers brushed against her flushed skin and Jod let his arm fall.

-Do you still love me?

He asked her with a defeated voice. She took a deep breath and looked away. Jod felt his heart skip a beat.

-Yes, I still love you.

She whispered at last. Jod closed his eyes and opened himself to the Force.

-Say it again, I beg you. I need to hear you say it again.

-I love you.

She repeated and Jod felt swooning with relief: she had told the truth. He bent down to kiss her but as soon as their lips touched, she stood up and stepped back.

-I can't, not now. I need... I need to be alone, that's why I came here. Please get out.

Jod got to his feet. His head was spinning: she had never refused to kiss him since he had let her go and they had started their relationship.

-I... I’ll leave. I'll be in the cockpit if you want to talk to me.

He whispered and then left her alone.

Fern didn't want to talk to him. She did not return to their cabin at the Libertas. Jod took his crew to the spaceport and they partied for two days. He went straight to the brothel, got blind drunk and slept off his hungover in one of the rooms upstairs, alone and after rejecting all of Durko's whores. He saw Fern moving like a ghost around the frigate, she didn't interact with anyone and his crew avoided her. The bacta had did its job because the bruise had disappeared and it was the only consolation he had. She was still with him even though she was obviously still angry or maybe she was waiting to get to At Attin to feel safer before leaving him. But his darkest predictions clashed with the only positive note that gave him the strength not to surrender to the blackest discouragement: she had said she still loved him and had not lied. Jod too was waiting to arrive on At Attin. He wanted to get home and try to reason with her in an environment that would remind her how happy they had been together and how happy they could still be. Together.

For this reason, when it was time to disembark, he went to look for her and took her by the hand, touching her for the first time in many, too many days.

-Let's go home.

He whispered in her ear, squeezing her hand. She didn't squeeze back but didn't reject him either, wrapping her fingers around his palm.

He was relieved that neither Fara nor any of Fern's friends were present when they landed. He asked to be taken to his house and got out of the transport with Fern. She had not yet spoken to him but let herself be led into his home.

He let go of her hand as soon as the door was closed behind them and turned to face her, hugging her and holding her close. Miraculously, she returned his embrace and then melted against him, starting to weep.

-Fern!

He tried to get her to lift her face so he could talk to her but she hid against his neck and squeezed him so tightly that she took his breath away. Jod was so relieved that he nearly started crying too.

-Hush love, don't cry please!

She kissed his neck and then finally lifted her face, meeting his gaze.

-Kiss me?

She asked him in a hesitant voice and he immediately complied. He deposited small kisses on her lips, until she began to chase his mouth, leaning towards him and pressing her lips against his, then deepened the kiss and she returned it to him with ferocity.

-I love you, I love you, I love you...

Jod whispered to her, between one kiss and another. Then he framed her face with the palms of his hands, staring into her eyes.

-Tell me you love me too!

He begged her and she nodded.

-Yes, I love you too. I missed you so much...

They continued to kiss in the corridor, leaning against the front door, for many minutes. Finally Jod took her by the hand and led her into the living room, making her sit on the sofa and sitting next to her, holding her hands and leaning his forehead against hers, breathing in her breath.

-Can you forgive me, love? I can’t live without you...

She kissed him.

-I forgive you.

He kissed her more passionately, clinging to her.

-I missed you too... I need you.

She climbed on his lap, continuing to kiss him.

-Not here, I want to make love to you in our bed. Came upstairs?

He begged and she nodded, getting off his knees. They began to undress on the stairs, continuing to kiss and arrived naked at the bed, caressing each other. Jod knelt on the sheets.

-Let's do it like this. Come.

He helped her kneel in front of him and then on top of him. She was tight and not very wet and he entered her slowly, kissing her and caressing her breasts until she began to moan and push against him. He wrapped his arms around her back, making their bodies stick together as closely as possible and pushed upwards, meeting her halfway. Fern moaned and Jod grunted as their bodies moved in harmony.

-Like this...

He gasped against her neck.

-This is how it should always be. The two of us, together. Just pleasure...

She arrived first and he followed shortly after. He liked it when Fern climaxed before him: he could feel her spasming around him and stiffen in his arms, losing track of everything but the pleasure that overwhelmed her. He loved how his thrusts prolonged her pleasure, causing her to emit breathlessly high-pitched sounds.

Then he held her in his arms again, lying on the bed. Their bodies were sweaty and after weeks in space they both needed a shower with real water but Jod found the smell of her skin intoxicating: it smelled like Fern and it was a smell he had missed in the last few days.

-I want to tell you something, Fern. Think carefully before saying anything.

He said to her and she lifted the head she held on his shoulder, looking at him with a questioning air.

-I don't want you to come to the Libertas anymore. Hold on! Let me explain!

She had frowned and opened her mouth in protest.

-Listen! The life of the pirate is not for you, love. I have always admired your determination, your character, your strength. I was sure that you would become a brave and strong woman, a dangerous woman, a woman who would not allow anything or anyone to stop her. I thought you were like me. But you're not like me, my love. You are better. You are exactly as I imagined you to be and even more. You are sensitive and loyal. You are selfless and you are... full of love and hope. You are so beautiful...

He put the palm of his hand on her chest, above her heart.

-You are beautiful here. Inside. I feel so lucky to have your love and I constantly wonder how such an amazing person can love someone like me.

And this was the root of his fear: she was so far beyond his reach that if he hadn't used deception, coercion and seduction by taking advantage of her young age and inexperience, never a girl like Fern would have looked at him and seen someone attractive.

-I thought that you could adapt to the life of pirates, mercenaries, that you had in you what it takes to be one of us, that you could take my place, not only as supervisor of At Attin but also as captain of the Libertas...

Fern's eyes widened and her mouth widened in surprise, taken totally off guard by his statement. Jod smiled bitterly.

-I didn't tell you anything about my plan because I didn't want to pressure you with my expectations, but this little project of mine has definitely gone up in flames. You definitely have a future here, at At Attin: you're going to be a fantastic undersecretary and a great supervisor. But you can never become the captain of the Libertas. You're not cruel enough, ruthless enough. It's not a bad thing, love: if you had a heart hard enough to command a pirate crew, you wouldn’t love me.

Jod sighed.

-So I have to change my plans, at least in part. I want a future for us, for me and for you. Together. You will have my full support and the control of the planet, and I will patrol the skies of At Attin, protecting you with the frigate. My plan was to settle elsewhere and abandon the life of the pirate. I'll adapt. I'm already turning my crew from pirates to mercenaries. We haven't attacked a ship for years now. The only illegal activity we are carrying out is the occupation of At Attin and that... With the integration of my crew into the social life of your planet, how long do you think it will take for our two people to become one?

Fern frowned.

-Your men still commit crimes against my people, you know. Complaints go through my mother's office and end up on your desk.

Jod grimaced.

-Yes, but the culprits are all new recruits. Those who have been here for the longest have moved to the planet or at least do not cause any kind of problem. You have nothing like a security force and I thought that we could become just that.

Fern snorted.

-Like a wolf who becomes the shepherd dog of a flock?

She asked him in a strongly sceptical tone. Jod brightened.

-Exactly! You will protect your people from below, here on the ground, and I will take care of protecting you from the rest of the galaxy. We'll do well, you'll see...

Jod's eyes sparkled and Fern wanted to share his optimism but, as a member of the occupied population, she knew that the embers of resentment had never been extinguished, that some were still muttering about "driving out the invaders" and only the fact that the pirates were more well-armed and more accustomed to violence had prevented revolts. Revolts that would have been not only disastrous but also heartbreaking: it was true that part of the crew had integrated, mixing with the local population, forming families and bonds of friendship and mutual esteem. Not knowing how to respond effectively, Fern preferred not to voice her objections.

-My retirement will have to wait.

Jod complained.

-The important thing is that we stay together.

He concluded, holding her close to him again. Fern buried her expressionless face against his chest, returning the embrace mechanically.

After the shower, Fern returned home, insisting that he not accompany her, saying that after weeks on the frigate, she needed to stretch her legs. It was mid-afternoon and, instead of going to her house, Fern went to KB. Her face was streaked with tears when her best friend opened the door for her.

-Fern! What happened to you?

KB had exclaimed with alarm, immediately letting her into the house.

-It's Jod!

Fern had exploded, starting to sob without restraint.

-I love him, KB! I love him so much that I feel like my heart could burst in my chest. But I decided to leave him, I need to leave him. Help me, please, because I don't want to do it!

KB's expression had crystallized in a mask that did not reveal anything of what she was thinking. Inside her chest joy and anger fought each other: joy that finally her friend was seeing reasons and anger because he must have done something really terrible to push her to such a statement.

She had sat her on the sofa and caressed her back comfortingly until she had stopped crying and then put a glass of water in her hand.

-Drink, come on. Feeling a little better?

Fern had shaken her head and leaned on her shoulder. KB had hold her close.

-Can you tell me what happened, Fern?

Fern had taken a deep breath.

-I promised you that if Jod hurt me again, I would come to you immediately. Well, here I am. He was... violent with me. He didn't hurt me, not too much at least, and I agreed, I was fine with it. He was unwell and I wanted to help him. But I remembered what you said, that I don't deserve such treatment and so I faced him, I told him clearly that he should never use me again to release his pain, that he should not hurt me again to feel better. We sorted things out. I should have felt comforted but...

KB was livid with anger but said nothing, letting her friend finish her story.

-But I couldn't trust him anymore, not really.

She took a trembling breath, pushing back a sob.

-I expected another explosion. Another crisis. We did nothing but argue on the Libertas. Maybe I provoked him to see how long he would hold up, if he would keep his promise. I was constantly testing him. It wasn't fair to him. He... He didn't want me to go with him, he told me I wouldn't like that part of him, the pirate part, the killer part. I didn't believe him, I thought I could stand it, I told him I loved every part of him, how stupid I have been!

KB caressed her back, making concentric motions and trying to comfort her as she hid her face in her hands.

-I couldn’t. It was scary and horrible! He killed them all, he said he wanted to negotiate and then instead he killed them all!

KB didn't understand who Fern was talking about but was upset that she had to watch while Jod killed someone.

-I tried to stop him. Jod had warned me, he had told me never to contradict him in front of his crew. Maybe I'm also responsible for what happened next. I'm not saying he's blameless, KB!

She exclaimed, feeling her friend stiffen and imagining what she was thinking.

-You're right: I'm not responsible for his actions. Even if I provoked him, he would have to restrain himself. Don't get mad at me, please. He slapped me. In front of everyone. I contradicted him and he hit me.

KB growled, Fern felt the vibrations through her body.

-That's what convinced me that I need to leave him. We are hurting each other. He swears to me that he has never done such a thing with anyone before me, and I believe him. He hurts himself so as not to hurt me but it’s not working. It's not fair to him, it's not fair to me. I love him and he loves me but we can't be together anymore. Tell me I'm right, please.

KB had taken two deep breaths, to stop herself from screaming.

-You are absolutely right. If you are hurting each other, your relationship cannot continue. There are things that you absolutely must not put up with. This is one of them. I know you love him...

Fern sobbed but fortunately she didn't start crying again.

-But love is not suffering, it is not enduring someone's cruelty waiting for them to change, hoping that things will improve on their own. You are miserable together. You have to get away to feel better.

Above all, KB had to get her best friend as far away as possible from a man who made her cry and hurt her.

-I'm afraid.

Fern whispered softly against her shirt.

-Not that he would hurts me, but about how he might react. I'm afraid that he will hurt himself: I don't think he has ever learned to handle his anger. What will I do if I tell him I want to leave him and he doesn't accept it? If he refuses to let me go, to accept that it's the right thing to do? You should have heard him today, KB. He spoke of our future, of our life together. He was so... happy. I'm afraid of breaking his heart. He says he cannot live without me.

KB snorted.

-He's lived most of his life without you, Fern. Believe me: he is a grown man and will survive.

The girl bit her lip, thoughtful: Fern had raised a valid point.

-But I am also worried about how he will react. Jod is a dangerous man, we know that well.

If Fern was afraid for him, KB was deadly afraid of him. Jod had proved to be an unreliable man and capable of anything. He was a murderer and if she rejected him, who knows what he would do, especially since he was convinced that Fern belonged to him.

-Does he suspect something?

KB asked. Fern slumped back against the sofa.

-No. Because I love him and this is not a lie.

She covered her face with her hands.

-I still love him, despite everything. Oh KB, how am I going to do it?

-You have to be resolute.

KB reminded her.

-Leaving him is the right thing to do. I know you love him, I can't even imagine how much it will hurt, but you have to do it. You must love yourself more than you love him.

Fern lowered her hands.

-Thanks KB. That was what I needed to hear.

-You must flee from At Attin.

Fern jerked.

-What? No!

-Yes.

KB replied.

-You can't stay here, every day in front of his eyes. I... I don't think he will easily accept your separation. You have to leave, away from him, away from here.

Fern looked down, desolate.

-How could I leave you? You, mom, ... And how could I escape? Jod is the only one who can get me out. I can't ask him to leave me on some planet.

-No, you can’t.

KB replied ferociously, leaning towards her.

-But he likes to take you out of At Attin. You could take advantage of it and disappear. The galaxy is big. He will never be able to find you again.

-What about you?

Fern asked in a faint voice.

-He could take it out on you.

KB shook her head.

-We are threatenable only if you are present, we are hostages only if he can use us to make you do what he wants. But if he can't get in touch with you anymore...

Fern shivered.

-Do you really think he could threaten you to force me to stay with him?

KB looked away.

-I don't know. Old Jod? The one who said you were his concubine and treated you like a thing that belonged to him? He would. But I changed my mind about him, after he saved my life. He used to treat you well. I think he's in love with you too. But his love is... sick. It's wrong, Fern. And you absolutely have to get away from him.

Once she had made the decision to leave him, as heartbreaking and painful as it was, Fern felt better. Returning to her everyday life was extremely difficult because distancing herself from him was impossible. Far from the frigate, away from his bad memories, Jod had returned the lover of the past, who made her happy and who made her laugh. Caring and attentive in bed, devoted and solicitous all other times. Fern's love for him had never been stronger, but the trust she had had was irreparably compromised. Now she noticed how hard Jod tried to please her, how he avoided any reason for disagreement and any kind of confrontation, at all costs.

Sometimes she was tempted to start a fight just to see how he would react, but it would be cruel and she didn't really feel like it.

The weeks slipped away and then the months and their life together resumed as if nothing had happened. Only now, a part of her heart was empty and cold, a part of her mind analysed his every expression, every word he spoke and waited, lurking, for the right opportunity to prepare her escape.

When he proposed to her to go away for a while, just the two of them, it was not as favourable as she hoped because the place where he wanted to take her was escape-proof.

-The island?

She had asked him, frowning. Jod looked disappointed.

-I expected more enthusiasm.

He commented.

-You said you liked it, that you would like to go back there...

Fern swallowed.

-Yes, it's true.

It was the place where she had first admitted to herself that she loved Jod.

-You almost look ... annoyed

Jod had observed, frowning. Fern had hugged him.

-I'm just surprised. It is a beautiful place and we were very happy there.

That was exactly the reason why Jod had chosen it. He wanted to recapture that happiness, that light-heartedness.

-You and I, alone...

He had whispered, winking.

-Around us only water and nothing else.

-And the possibility of being naked all the time!

Fern added, blushing slightly.

-Ah, how could I have forgotten that!

Jod had said, having regained his good mood.

-After the island, would you like to take me to Lanupa?

Fern had proposed, out of the blue. Jod had raised both eyebrows.

-Lanupa? Why?

-Because the only time I was there, it wasn't a particularly enjoyable time but it had... potential. They don't accept children but I'm not a child anymore. The lodgings were very nice and the rooms in the caves isolated... Can you imagine making love there, where Tak Rennod once tortured his victims?

Jod let out an incredulous sound.

-Fern! I would have never expected it from you!

An enthusiastic smile spread across his face.

-I can't wait. It’s settled: first we spend five days on the island, you and me, and then Lanupa and its delights!

Fern had consulted with KB. She had entrusted her with a recorded message for her mother, to be delivered to her only in the event that she did not return.

-What do you mean by "if"?

Her friend had asked her. Fern had moved uneasily.

-It is not certain that I will find the opportunity to leave. Every time we go out together, he never let me wander off of his side.

In reality, Fern was no longer so sure she wanted to leave him. He had always behaved well since their return from Porto Borgo, everything was back to the way it was before and she was happy with him again. KB had frowned.

-Try to find the opportunity. Who knows when a similar occasion will present itself again.

-Are you really sure that you don't want me to contact the New Republic?

Fern had asked. KB had shaken her head.

-Jod is right about that.

She had reluctantly admitted.

-If the New Republic intervenes, the pirates may decide to take refuge on our side of the barrier. We have survived thirty years without contact with the outside world. The pirates could hold out indefinitely if the army besieges them here, beyond the barrier. We could end up paying the highest price if they think we have betrayed them.

The two friends had pooled their savings, to tell the truth KB had contributed more than Fern, and in the end the nest egg collected was considerable.

-It's not much, at least by At Attin's standards.

KB had commented critically as she looked at the pile of dataries piled up on Fern's bed.

-But outside of At Attin they are a small fortune. If you're careful, they should be enough for a while.

Neither of them was sure how much a datary was worth, but Fern was confident that she could make ends meet.

They wrapped up the gold coins in her socks, so they wouldn't jingle in her backpack.

-You will have to carry it at all times. The backpack weighs a lot now, it is not credible that it contains only clothes. Jod may become suspicious.

KB had commented and Fern had agreed. The backpack weighed suspiciously.

-Do you remember the coordinates to enter? Are there any commands that you are unsure about and that you want to review?

In the months of waiting, KB had built a facsimile of the controls of the Onyx Cinder and had instructed Fern on how to pilot it. She had also given her a crash course in mechanics, explaining how the engine worked and how to fix things if they malfunctioned.

-I remember everything, don't worry. You're a good teacher, KB, and you don't have to worry about the engine.

She added when her friend opened her mouth to speak.

-Jod had the ship fixed. Now it works without hiccups. She has never given us problems.

-Better to be sure.

KB had muttered.

Fern spent her last night on At Attin at KB's house, under the guise of wanting to have a sleepover. Her mother had looked at her strangely, for Fern hadn't slept at KB's house since they were much younger, but she gladly let her go, relieved that she didn't spend the night at Jod's house.

The two friends slept little, holding hands on KB's bed and whispering their farewell.

On the Onyx Cinder, Fern had been nervous and knew Jod could sense it. Immediately after entering the coordinates, he turned to her, who occupied the co-pilot's chair.

-Are you afraid of me, love?

He had asked her with a worried expression.

-You must not: I will not do anything you do not want me to. I promise!

Fern had taken him by the hand and stood up, pulling him to his feet and leaning against his chest.

-I know, I believe you. It's just that...

She had closed her eyes and sighed.

-How about going to the bedroom and proving to me, with facts, that my fears are unfounded?

Fern needed a distraction, something to calm her nerves and quiet any worries Jod had, and sex had always been a sure way to distract him. It worked that time too. Jod wanted her to be on top, a position that he seemed to favour in recent times, but Fern needed not to think and above all not to look him in the face. She turned around, in his arms, with her back to him.

-Like this. Take me like this.

He had frozen but she had felt his member push against her back, that part of his anatomy that could not lie about how much the prospect turned him on.

-Are you sure?

He whispered as he kissed her neck. She had nodded.

-I trust you.

She had replied. He had grabbed her breast and then his hand had gone down, finding her wet and ready. He had kissed her shoulder.

-I see. Are you wet for me, love?

He had asked her in a hoarse voice, making her kneel on the mattress.

-Do you want me?

She had gasped, grabbing the sheets with clenched fists.

-I can't see your expression, love. You have to talk to me otherwise I won't keep going.

He had incited her in a worried tone.

-Yes, I want you. Please!

-Right now?

He had replied in an excited voice, rubbing against her.

-And what if I’d want to taste you first? I could kneel behind you, lick you, explore you with my fingers...

-Fuck me!

She had ordered him, arching her back and offering herself to him. She had felt him tremble and then line up, grabbing her firmly by the hips. Fern had trembled too, thinking he would push in forcefully, but instead he entered her body slowly. His hands squeezed her, preventing her from moving when she tried to meet his thrust.

-Slowly, love, slowly.

He panted behind her. Once fully in her body, he had stopped.

-Like this. You're so beautiful like that. Perfect around me...

He had whispered ecstatically. Then he had retreated and pushed back again. He moved slowly and steadily, making her sob with pleasure, begging him to go faster, but he laughed.

-I want to enjoy every moment. You should too! And the impatient one would be me...

He made it last as long as possible and when she finally climaxed, ending up with her face against the sheets because her arms could no longer support her, he moved quickly, until he came inside her.

-I love you.

He had said to her in a dreamy tone, kissing her shoulder and neck.

-I love you too.

Fern had replied, glad that he could not see her desperate expression.

The island was not the same one from the previous time even if the bungalow and the beach were equipped in the same way.

They loved each other, played in the sea and tanned and, as the time to leave approached, Fern decided to test him further. One morning, as soon as they woke up, while they were in bed and kissing and Fern knew that Jod wanted to make love again, she put her hand on his chest and pushed him away, to look him in the face and talk to him.

-What's the matter, love? Why that worried expression?

-I would like to try something.

She had said to him in a nervous tone. He had frowned.

-What?

Fern had taken courage in both hands and knelt on the bed, clasping her hands in her lap.

-You command and I obey.

She had offered to him. Jod's eyes widened and he froze up.

-Absolutely not. Bad idea, Fern!

He had replied, sitting up.

-Don't you remember how it ended last time?

Now he was the nervous one and Fern relaxed, seeing him worried.

-It will be different this time. Now you know where we went wrong. I'll respect the rules of the game and say the safe word to stop you if I don't like what you're asking me to do. And you'll be kind to me.

Jod shook his head.

-It will be a test. Prove to me that I can trust you.

Fern had insisted. Jod had passed a hand over his eyes and she knew she had won. He was aroused and her proposal appealed to him.

-If you are sure...

-I am.

She had replied.

-We could still use 33.

Jod had nodded.

-All right. Let's get started: stand up.

Fern had gotten out of bed, standing in front of him. Jod had looked at her, letting his gaze lingering on her breasts and on the conjunction between her legs. He had swallowed.

-Touch your breasts. Take your nipples between your thumb and forefinger, like that.

While Fern obeyed, he had begun to touch himself.

-You have nice tits, you know? But your cunt is even more beautiful. Touch yourself there too.

Fern groaned, and Jod echoed her.

-You're wet, aren't you? Put one finger inside, just one.

He watched her as she pleasured herself, breathing heavily.

-On the bed now, I want to see you.

Fern lay on her back, spread her legs, and began masturbating again.

-How beautiful you are.

Jod leaned over her, inhaling deeply.

-I want to taste you. Give me your hand.

Fern held out her hand to him, and he sucked her fingers with a moan of pleasure. Then he straddled her stomach and grabbed her breast, while with the other hand he continued to touch himself.

-Open your mouth, stick out your tongue.

Fern did as he told her. She hadn't taken him in her mouth for almost a year, since the last time he had commanded her. Jod stepped forward, caressing her cheek and then resting his penis on her tongue. It was impossible for him to shove it down her throat from that position, he didn't have the space to bend over her and the angle was wrong.

-Kiss me.

He ordered her with a groan, and Fern pursed her lips around the tip and caressed him with her tongue, as if she were kissing his mouth. Jod leaned his hand against the wall to hold himself up, with a muffled scream. He gave small thrusts with his pelvis, throwing his head back and moaning. Then he retired and sat down next to her.

-That's enough, otherwise it all ends too quickly. I want to came into your cunt, not your mouth. Now I’m going to touch you and I want to hear you scream. I want you to shout to the sky how much you like what I do to you. Keep your legs wide open, as wide apart as you can.

Panting, Fern spread her legs as wide as she could, and he pushed two fingers into her, hard. She arched her back, moaning loudly and writhing.

-Do you like it?

He had asked her, moving his hand quickly. Fern had nodded.

-Say it out loud, shout it!

-Yes!

Fern had shouted.

-I like it!

-What do you like? Talk to me, tell me what I make you feel. Otherwise I’ll stop.

Jod had ordered in a hoarse voice. Fern had let out a long moan, swaying her pelvis to meet his hand.

-I like it... I like it when you give me pleasure. I love your fingers inside me, your tongue…

Fern gasped and he rewarded her by adding another finger.

-Let's see how many fingers I can fit into you, what do you say? In my opinion you can easily handle four.

Fern trembled with pleasure.

-Do you like the idea? Remember that you have to talk to me.

-Yes!

She replied.

-I... I want all your fingers, I want all of you!

With a guttural cry he pushed another finger into her and Fern let out a wail of pain. Jod froze.

-Fern? Do you want me to stop? Do you want to say the word?

Fern shook her head.

-No. I want to come. Let me have an orgasm, please. I want to scream, make me scream.

Jod released her and knelt between her legs. Fern let out a moan of frustration, and Jod kissed her inner thigh.

-Don't stop!

She scolded him.

-Don't forget who's in charge, love.

He reminded her.

-You do as I say.

He licked her, sucked her, and explored her with his tongue, stopping when Fern's moans became frantic and then starting again. Obeying his previous order, Fern spoke to him, telling him what she wanted, what she felt.

-You're driving me crazy! I want you to fuck me, I want you to get on top of me and fuck me with your cock, I want it inside me. Oh, let me come, please, let me come!

When Jod could no longer resist his own arousal and the sight of his lover so eager for him, he mounted her, grabbed her legs and put them around his hips.

-Since you beg me so desperately, I decided to oblige you. Now I'm going to fuck you. Do you want it slow and sweet or hard and fast, love?

He asked, preparing to penetrate her.

-You made me wait too long! I want to came now!

With a growl, Jod entered her with a single, violent thrust, and Fern arched her back, screaming loudly, as he had commanded, and pushing herself against him, clutching her legs around him to draw him even deeper. Jod fucked her hard and fast, never taking his eyes off her face, filled with pleasure. When Fern orgasmed, she was loud, shouting Jod's name.

He followed her immediately after, collapsing on her and breathing heavily. He stayed inside her, sunk into her body, as much as he could, then moved to her side. They kissed for a long time, languidly, and Fern smiled at him.

-Test passed with flying colours, do you agree with me?

Jod smiled back at her.

-Were you happy, love? Did I hurt you?

She clung to him.

-I thought I was quite explicit about how much I liked it. What do you think?

He kissed her, murmuring contentedly.

They returned to the Onyx Cinder, tanned and satisfied and Jod entered the coordinates for Lanupa. Fern didn't want to see him do it and headed to their cabin, undressing and lying naked on the sheets, waiting for him.

Lanupa was how Fern remembered. This time, hearing the fake name Jod had used to book, the staff were friendly and welcoming. They were greeted with flowers and a cocktail that Fern also wanted to sample. Jod raised an eyebrow, surprised.

-It's sweet!

She exclaimed.

-Take it slowly: it's sweet but very strong. They add other things to mask the taste of the liquor.

As soon as they escorted them to their room and left them alone, Fern took off her shoes and sprang onto the bed, jumping and laughing as she had done so many years ago.

-Come on, Jod!

She beckoned to him, laughing.

-Don't be a spoilsport, live a little!

He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

-You don't know what you're missing!

She exclaimed in a singsong tone.

-I know what I want to do on that bed and it's certainly not jumping.

He replied suggestively. She stopped and began to undress.

-And what would you like to do?

She provoked him. He looked at her.

-I think you know.

He leaned over and grabbed her waist, knocking her off balance and causing her to fall back with a little cry. He lay on top of her and they kissed.

-I love you, Jod.

Fern told him.

-But at the moment you have too many clothes on.

They made love, ordered food and after resting they decided to go down to the caves under the baths.

The attendants invited them to undress in some adjacent rooms and into wearing only the towel to immerse themselves in the thermal water.

-Leave us alone.

Jod ordered them.

-Pour the tea and then leave. We will call you if we have still need of you. We want to relax in peace.

Fern sat down on the bench they had placed in place of the stone slab that once covered the entrance to Rennod's lair and sipped the tea as the attendants' footsteps moved away up the stairs. Jod knelt at her feet and spread her legs.

-Can you be very quiet?

He asked her, placing a hand on her knee and climbing up her thigh. Fern put down her cup and nodded, leaning back and tossing her head back. She had to cover her mouth with one hand, and yet the moans she uttered resounded in the cave room. Jod didn't stop after she orgasmed but continued to lick and began to use his fingers as well.

-Enough Jod!

Fern begged him.

-I can't be silent, they will hear us.

He stopped and rested his cheek on her leg, looking at her with an adoring expression.

-You taste so good, my love.

-I want to try the water.

Fern said, pushing him away and getting up. He stood up in turn and grabbed the cloth she was clutching to her chest.

-I don't think you will need this.

He stripped it off of her and placed it on the bench and then untied his own, placing it on hers. He bent down, grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up. With a surprised gasp, Fern threw her arms around his neck and instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. He put his hands on her buttocks, holding her. He pushed her towards him and she helped him penetrate her. Jod kissed her neck and staggered for a moment.

-Don't let me fall!

Fern exclaimed.

-I will hold you up.

He reassured her and took her to the pool, entering and immersing himself in the water. Jod moaned softly. The water was warm and Fern was hot too, hot and wet. He stayed near the edge, where he could stand and leaned on it with her back against the stone wall.

-Are you uncomfortable? Do you feel it scratching you?

He asked her in a hoarse voice, throbbing inside her, eager to be able to move but needing a foothold to be able to do so.

-I'm fine, please...!

She moaned, contracting her muscles around him. She was at the perfect height to kiss and that's what he did, leaning her against the stone wall of the tub, holding her with his hands and starting to move in and out of her. Their mouths were busy kissing and the only noise that could be heard were their panting and the lapping of the water around their bodies they moved as one. With a long moan against her lips, Jod came but kept moving, frantically and she threw her head back, banging it against the edge of the tub and biting her lip to choke the noises she would otherwise have made.

Jod let go of her, and Fern put her feet at the bottom of the tub, sinking up to her chin. She clung to Jod, whose shoulders were barely covered by the water.

-It’s not fair!

Fern complained.

-You are taller than me!

Jod laughed softly and squeezed his arms around her waist, lifting her up and making her put her feet on top of his.

-Here, so we are at the same height.

He kissed her and lowered a hand below the surface of the water, caressing her nipples and then descending to the joint between her legs.

-Again?

She gasped, spreading her legs to make it easier for him to reach her.

-We have forty minutes all to ourselves. I want you to make you came at least two more times. Next time I'll have you sit up here, on the edge, and fuck you with my tongue.

Fern moaned loudly.

-Remember, love: silence.

The following day passed in almost the same way. After dinner Fern proposed to go down to the lobby and try to see if there was any table available at the bar.

-But you don't drink.

Jod pointed out at her.

-I don't, but you do. And it's fun to watch the guests. Look what I brought!

Fern pulled out from her bag the blue silk dress he had bought her the year before.

-I'll take a shower, fix my hair and then we'll go.

She had kissed him, caressing his chest and locked herself in the bathroom.

She was radiant and smiling when she resurfaced half an hour later. Jod wasn't sitting on the couch waiting for her, he was in the bedroom, sitting on the bed holding something in his hand. The contents of her backpack were scattered on the mattress and the dataries sparkled between the undone sheets. Fern felt her heart stop in her chest and then plummet into her stomach.

Jod lifted his face and met her gaze. He opened his hand, and in his palm was a small round device. The recorder on which she had left a message for him, that he was supposed to find after her departure and that explained why she had left him.

-I wanted to see if you had also the silver hear clip engraved with Iego's moons.

He said in a dull voice.

-But I found this and the dataries.

Fern began to tremble.

-You organized it well, didn't you? How did you plan to do it? Were you going to get me drunk tonight and... take advantage of it to disappear?

She shook her head.

-No! Jod I...

He jumped up and threw the recorder in her direction, gazing her shoulder.

-Liar! Whore!

-Nononono!

He advanced towards her with clenched fists. Fern curled up on herself, tucking her head into her shoulders and raising trembling hands, to defend herself from him.

-I didn't want to anymore, I had changed my mind, you have to believe me!

He growled, baring his teeth.

-You have to believe me! I love you!

She repeated.

-Stop lying!

He screamed in her face and then grabbed her hard by her shoulders.

-Right now...

Jod trembled with anger and panted. His pupils were dilated and he had a crazed expression on his face.

-Do you know what I’m going to do? I'm going to take you back to At Attin and you'll never leave the planet again. Never again, did you understand me? I’ll take you to my home and you won’t leave it until you convinced me that every desire to leave me is gone forever.

He sank his fingers into the flesh of her shoulders, shaking her.

-Even if I have to handcuff you to my bed!

He shouted. Fern burst into tears.

-Please Jod...

-Shut up! I don't want to hear a word from your lying mouth, anymore! Or rather, I want to hear you say something: say you're mine. Say it!

Fern shook her head, through the tears.

-Say: I'm yours Jod!

-I'm not yours!

Fern shouted in a broken voice.

-I'm not a thing, you don’t own me.

With a scream of rage, Jod dragged her to the bed and threw her onto the sheets.

-You are mine, you are mine, you are mine...!

He climbed on top of her and Fern became a creature of pure panic. She began to scream and try to fight him off but Jod was heavier and stronger than her. He immobilized her, grabbing her wrists with one hand and pushing them against her chest, pinning her on the mattress. Then he lifted her skirt.

-Mine, mine, mine,...

He kept repeating as he opened his pants.

Fern collapsed on the bed, giving up the fight. It was as if she was floating above her own body. Everything was clear and it was as if time had slowed down. She knew perfectly what to do. Jod, her beloved Jod, had made her repeat the movements countless times because he wanted to make sure she could do them even if she was panicking. She heard his words ring in her head: "Wait until he’s immobilized you and tries to open his pants. He will hold you down with only one hand, that's the right moment to act." The movement was mechanical, she didn't even have to think about it. She lifted her left leg, bringing her knee to her chest and twisted her wrists, grabbing the hand that was pinning her to the bed. She stretched her leg out again, hooking Jod's neck, trapping his left arm between her thighs, and pulling she forced him to roll onto his side. Then she pushed, legs staining and arms wrenching until she heard a sharp crack. Jod screamed as his shoulder give away and the bone ripped free of its joint.

Fern immediately let go of him and looked around frantically, reaching out and grabbing a vase full of flowers that was within reach on the bedside table. She hit Jod hard in the head and he fell from the bed with a grunt, face down on the floor. Fern stood up, towering over him and struck him again, aiming for the temple. There was a dull noise and Jod collapsed, without a sound. Panting loudly, Fern waited for a moment, with the vase still clutched in her hands, but he didn't move. She dropped her makeshift weapon and let it roll on the floor, near Jod's motionless body. A trickle of blood ran down his cheek, from a wound below his hairline. He was still breathing.

She grabbed her backpack and hurriedly put all her scattered things back inside along with the dataries. She ran out of the room, clutching the knapsack to her chest, and hurried to the ship.

She took the controls and began the departure procedures with trembling hands, feeling her heart beat madly in her throat, fearing at all times that the radio would broadcast the order to stop or that Jod would appear on the landing pad. Only when the Onyx Cinder was in the air did she let out a sob of relief. Lanupa's ships flanked her.

-This is Lanupa Resort Security force, you were not authorized to leave. Turn back and land.

A peremptory voice came from the communications system but Fern turned it off, giving more power to the engines and quickly leaving her pursuers behind.

Once out of atmosphere, she entered the coordinates of the planet that KB had suggested and watched the hyperspace light up blue all around her.

Chapter Text

EPILOGUE

The bar Jod entered, was similar to all the bars he had visited in recent years. A quiet place to drink until he passed out, until they would throw him out to sober up in the street or in an alley. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. The only reason the place stood out was because it was classy, frequented by people of a certain social level, and the only reason they let him in was that Jod had pockets full of credits. It was the only thing he had left: a fortune to spend and no one to share it with, no dreams, no future.

He chose a secluded table, away from the other customers who were laughing and toasting, disturbing him with their cheerfulness. He faced the wall and ordered the most expensive bottle of liquor they had. He had barely made it halfway when someone sat down at the table with him. Jod lifted his head from his glass, ready to chase the intruder away with a rude word when whatever he was about to say froze on his tongue. He looked at the bottle, then at his guest, then at the bottle again.

-This stuff must be stronger than it seems, if I'm already drunk.

He mumbled. The hallucination, it could not be anything else, smiled sadly at him.

-Hello Jod.

Fern whispered. Silence fall while Jod watched her. It was Fern, there was no doubt, but she was older, more mature. In all his dreams, in all the apparitions that had tormented him, she was forever seventeen, not the twenty-four years old young woman sitting at his table.

-Is it you?

He whispered, incredulous.

-Is it really you?

His voice broke as his eyes filled with tears. Fern reached out on the table and took the hand that was still limply holding the full glass.

-Yes. It's me.

Fern looked over his shoulder and nodded. Jod turned and saw a group of women staring at them from the bar. They were all dressed as officers of the New Republic. He turned back to Fern and took a closer look at her: she too was dressed like an officer.

-I'm here with some friends. Chi, the Pantorian, is getting married next week and we have come to this planet for the bachelorette party.

Jod convulsively squeezed her fingers, adding his other hand as well in holding hers.

-I hadn't noticed you, you could have left and I would never have noticed that you had been here.

She smiled again, the same sad smile she had just made.

-It's been more than seven years, Jod.

He let out a desperate, prolonged wail.

-I'm sorry!

He sobbed.

-I'm so sorry!

Fern sighed.

-I know you're sorry, Jod. I know.

She waited for his sobs to subside.

-Do you understand why I left you?

He shook his head, letting go of her hand to wipe his cheeks. Then he closed his eyes and nodded.

-Because I'm a monster and I wanted to hurt you.

Fern looked away.

-I needed space. I was young and you were ... smothering me. You would never have let me go, you would never have allowed me to make my choices if they conflicted with yours. I...

Fern's shoulders trembled.

-I needed time and distance to really understand how sick our relationship was. I suspected it, I knew something was wrong, that you were hurting me but I didn't understand how. I loved you and you loved me…

-I still love you!

Jod exclaimed readily.

-I never stopped loving you, you have to believe me!

Fern grimaced.

-I believe you. I thought a lot about us, about what you did. You manipulated me. You always wanted me but I didn't want you and so you seduced me. There was a time when you scared me, I remember it well, a time when your attentions filled me with disgust. You managed to change my mind. You were in love with me, almost obsessed with me, weren't you?

-But you weren't in love with me, not really.

Jod replied in a dull, resigned and defeated voice. She squeezed his hand, the one she still held enclosed in hers.

-I loved you too. So much so that leaving you was the hardest thing I've done in my entire life. You don't know how many times I almost reversed course, when I still had the Onyx Cinder. I sold it after a few days because of this, because the temptation to go back was strong.

Jod swallowed.

-I found her. I bought her back. I'm here with her.

Fern's eyes widened.

-Do you still have the Onyx Cinder?

He smiled crookedly.

-It's the only thing I kept. I left At Attin, I left the Libertas.

Fern stared at him with her mouth open.

-I couldn't stay there without you. But I couldn't leave our ship. I never set foot on our cabin again.

-Did you abandon At Attin to the pirates? My mother? KB?

Fern asked in a shrill voice and Jod shook his head, hurrying to calm her down.

-I gave the droid codes to your mother. I trust that they have found a way to get rid of any unwanted guests. I don't know how it went, honestly I didn't care.

At the time, he had been insensitive to anything. A dull and pervasive pain had enveloped him, making him feel indifference toward everything.

-I chased you for months, across thirteen planets. You changed ships seven times. Then I lost track of you. Your ship was parked but you never come back to claim it. You didn’t buy a new one, no one matching your description left the planet. I stayed there for months, thinking you had hidden among the population, but nothing.

Jod pursed his lips and his chin trembled.

-I thought you were dead.

He admitted in a stifled tone, bowing his head.

-I had left the planet with Chi. She and a group of friends had enlisted just the day before and were celebrating their last night of freedom. I approached them, we started chatting and then...

Fern shrugged.

-I enlisted too. I left with the New Republic transport for the Academy. You had no chance of finding me.

Jod smiled tightly and pointed to her uniform.

-You graduated, I see. Officer, damn! I see you’ve done well for yourself.

Fern shyly smiled back.

-When I enlisted, I was already well trained in armed and bare-handed combat. I had a good teacher.

Jod's shoulders were shaken by silent sobs.

-Good.

He murmured.

-Good.

He repeated.

-I’m... happy that you have decided to sit at my table, to show yourself to me. Love, forgive me!

Fern's expression hardened and she assessed him with a frown.

-Do you know why I sat at your table?

She asked him in a cruel tone. Jod shook his head, foreseeing that he wouldn't like what she was about to say.

-My friends, there at the bar, think that I'm too uptight, that it's been too long since I properly "relaxed". They believe that what I need is a good fuck. Since they insisted, I looked around and saw you. Of all the men I've had, I have to admit it Jod, you've definitely been the best in bed.

Jod flinched. He had thought right: he hadn’t liked what she had said at all.

-Men...

He whispered. She gave him a sharp smile.

-Men.

She confirmed.

-Why, did you think you would be the only one? Come on... Surely you too had had others in recent years!

Jod shook his head slowly.

-I've been in bed with other women, but they were all you.

Fern looked at him with a confused expression.

-I bedded whores.

Jod specified.

-Young, long brown hair. I called them Fern. Each one of them was you.

She blinked, surprised and slightly uncomfortable. Then she shook herself, freeing her hands from his grasp. He gasped, trying to restore contact.

-I'm not leaving, don't fret.

She took his glass and emptied it in two gulps.

-Do you drink alcohol now?

He asked her and she laughed, throwing back her head.

-I am twenty-five years old, I am no longer a minor. Of course I drink. I waited though, for my first hangover.

She raised the glass in his direction, as though to toast him.

-My neurons thanked me!

He smiled faintly, acknowledging that it was something he had told her.

-Well.

She said in a firm tone.

-Do you agree?

Jod frowned.

-To what?

She snorted.

-To fuck.

She clarified boldly. Jod's face filled with hope.

-Do you still want me?

He asked her, unable to believe it.

-I want to fuck.

She made clear to him.

-This is the bar of the hotel where we are staying. I have a room. Are you coming up with me?

He nodded eagerly. He left on the table the credits needed to cover the cost of the bottle plus a tip and followed her to the elevators.

As it climbed to Fern's floor, she wrinkled her nose.

-First, you take a shower. Force, Jod! You smell like you've bathed in alcohol.

He sniffed himself.

-I started drinking some time ago. Otherwise, I can't sleep.

Fern looked at him worriedly.

-You have always had self-destructive tendencies, do you realize that?

They arrived at the floor and exited the elevator together.

-You've always been good at sabotaging yourself.

She said, passing the key over the lock and opening the door to her room.

The lights turned on automatically. It was a small room, with a double bed, an open suitcase left on the floor and a small desk with a terminal.

-The bathroom is behind that door.

Fern said, pointing to a closed door.

-Wash your teeth too and... Jod?

He turned to look at her. Fern's expression became hard.

-If you dare to try and raise your hands against me again, this time I'll break both your arms and then call the guards. Have I been clear?

He swallowed loudly and nodded. He came out of the bathroom wearing only a bathrobe, unsure of what he would find in the room. Fern was lying on the bed, naked and with a pensive expression. She shook herself when he approached. She looked at him from head to toe and raised an eyebrow.

-Well, what are you waiting for? A written invitation?

He ran his gaze along her body. She was more muscular than he remembered her, all traces of baby fat were gone. There were scars: one on her right side and one on her left shoulder. One was the unmistakable burn of a blaster, the other had the irregular, jagged edge that usually a crumpled piece of metal left behind. A shrapnel, perhaps? He had a similar scar on his right buttock. The doctor who had sewn him up had done nothing but laugh all the time. He let his bathrobe slip off his shoulders and threw it on the desk chair. Fern's gaze turned sad.

-You've grown old...

Jod felt himself blushing, absurdly. The hair on his chest was now more grey than blond and his hair was also turning grey. He was aware that his wrinkles were more pronounced and that the skin on his neck had begun to lose elasticity.

-I have also aged. Do you still want me, even if I'm no longer the young girl I was then?

She asked him in a provocative tone.

-Fern... I didn't want you because you were young. I wanted you because you were you. You are much more beautiful now than then.

-You are beautiful too, you are still as strong as in my memory.

Fern's compliment and desire filled look gave him confidence, and he felt himself hardened. Her lips curled into a satisfied smile.

-I wonder if you also have retained your stamina.

She challenged him and he knelt in front of the bed caressing her ankles.

-My tongue has always given you pleasure. How about starting with it?

He offered her in a hoarse voice. She scooted over to the edge of the bed and stared at him as he leaned over her. He inhaled deeply and bowed over her, tasting her. Fern tensed and moaned loudly, sinking a hand into his hair, pushing him toward her.

-Yes, like this.

She encouraged him.

-Just like this.

He licked her, teased her and penetrated her with his tongue until she had an orgasm. Fern fell back on the sheets, while he gently stroked her.

-Force! You're just as good as I remembered. I hadn't idealized you...

He smiled.

-Have you thought of me? Have you thought about this?

He slowly penetrated her with a finger and Fern moaned.

-Yes, I thought of you, of what you made me feel. No one has ever been as good as you. Over time I thought I had idealized you, that I had put you on an unreachable pedestal, which is why every man I slept with disappointed me.

She began to pant, arching toward him.

-No one satisfied you?

Jod asked her proudly.

-They were boys.

She moaned.

-I wanted to try with someone my age but they weren't... they weren't...

-They weren't me.

He concluded in her stead. Fern gasped.

-How tight you are, love! How long has it been since you had a lover?

-Make me come...

She complained, arching her back.

-Answer my question.

He replied, slowing down the pace.

-A couple of years, a couple of years!

Jod picked up the pace again.

-And how many? How many lovers have you had?

-It's none of your business!

She exploded, sinking her fingers into the sheets and coming with a prolonged moan.

-You're right: it's none of my business.

Jod conceded, withdrawing his hand and sucking the finger that had been in her.

-You're still delicious, you know?

Fern was breathing heavily, a satisfied expression on her beautiful face.

-Do you want to stop?

He asked her in a whisper. She lifted her head and looked at him, framed by her open legs.

-Do you want to stop? I don't. Come here.

She motioned him to get on the bed and he obeyed diligently. Fern sat up and met his mouth, kissing him for the first time in seven long years. For Jod it was like entering heaven after being banished from it. A kiss was more intimate than a fuck. Fern tasted herself on his tongue. She took his member in her hand and caressed him. Jod groaned.

-Now you fuck me.

Fern ordered him, trying to pull him towards her. Jod resisted.

-No, now we make love. I love you, Fern.

He wrapped his arms around her hips and pulled her towards him and above him. Fern laughed softly.

-You've always liked for me to be on top. Why?

Jod lay on his back, positioned her on top of him and let her slid down, slowly penetrating her, closing his eyes and moaning softly.

-It's safer for you.

He gasped, arching beneath her. Fern snorted, giving small thrusts, getting used to him inside her body.

-Idiot. I've shown you that I don't need protection.

She began to ride him, slowly at first and then faster and faster. Their moans and gasps and the sound of their meeting flesh resounded in the small hotel room. They come together, Jod just before Fern and then rested next to each other, catching their breath.

-I still love you. I never stopped loving you.

Jod repeated, playing with the hair that had escaped from her braid.

-Give me another chance, please!

He begged her. Fern covered her eyes with one arm.

-Oh, come on Jod! Seven years have passed! I'm no longer the little girl you once knew. I'm a different person. How can you say you love me if you don't even know who I am?

-Then give me the opportunity to get to know you again!

-Jod...

She exclaimed exasperated.

-I no longer do relationships. I’ve put them behind me. I tried, really. I went with men as young as me but they were immature and disappointing. I tried with older men but they rejected me because I was too young. How many lovers have I had? I can count them on two hands. None lasted very long after we had sex. I have come to the conclusion that steady relationships are not for me. Either I’m not cut out for them or it is you who ruined me, I don't know. But I don't want to have commitments anymore. A quick fuck, that's what I’ve offered you. Nothing more.

Jod was silent for long minutes.

-All right.

He finally said in a low tone.

-If you don't want a relationship, okay, I won't insist. But you said that no one has ever satisfied you in bed as much as I did, right?

Fern turned to look at him.

-I could be this for you. Don't cut me off entirely from your life, I beg you. Whenever you feel like it, whenever you want a "quick fuck", I will be available. I will make myself available for you.

Fern looked at him in bewilderment.

-Are you seriously asking me to become my concubine?

She asked him. Jod let out a short, bitter laugh.

-Why not? Once you were mine. I believe it's time to reverse the roles, what do you say?

Fern shook her head.

-It's horrible what you propose. Horrible to you. I won't treat you as if you were a property, like something to be taken out of the drawer when I feel like it and to put away when I don't need you anymore.

He met her gaze.

-How naïve you are, still!

-Don't laugh at me!

Fern replied angrily.

-I didn't mean to offend you. Just think: many rich and influential men have a beautiful and young wife, little more than a pretty accessory on their arm, to show off in front of the public. No one feel sorry for them. I would like to be your arm accessory. I would be honoured. You don't need to support me, though. My account with the Banking Clan is bursting, not even my slackness in recent years has affected my assets.

-I'm not going to marry you. What part of "I don't want a stable relationship" is difficult for you to grasp?

She grumbled. But Jod could see that she was thinking about it.

-You have your career in the New Republic Army.

He argued.

-And you are wanted by the New Republic, do you know? There is an arrest warrant for the pirate Crimson Jack and one for the pirate captain Silvo the Mad.

Jod smiled slyly.

-Ah, it's very fortunate that my name is Jod Na Nawood, former padawan of the Old Republic.

-Are you serious?

Fern asked him in an incredulous tone.

-Very serious!

Jod replied.

-Where was I? Ah! Your career! I guess you spend more time on a starship than with your feet on the ground. I know for a fact that fraternizing is frowned upon in the army. I'm sure you don't have many opportunities to meet someone new, whom you may like and with whom you can feel comfortable enough to sleep with. I could be your occasional steady lover, what do you say?

Fern frowned.

-I have to think about it.

She said and then yawned.

-Tomorrow, however, now I am sleepy.

-Can I stay here with you?

Jod asked her, turning on his side, to look at her better. She nodded.

-I want to make love again, tomorrow morning.

She murmured, relaxing and slowly slipping into sleep. He stayed awake for a long time that night, fighting against sleep, so as not to miss a single moment of their time together.

The morning came too early. Jod woke up slowly, without the usual hangover headache and for a moment he was disoriented, then he smelled the unmistakable scent of Fern on the pillow on which he was resting and opened his eyes wide, sitting up. The bed was empty.

-Fern!

He called out loudly. From the bathroom came a thud and then a voice.

-By the Abyss, Jod! Do you want me to slip in the shower and break my neck?

In a moment Jod was out of bed and at the bathroom door. Fern was picking up the soap container from the shower floor with an angry expression.

-You're real... I didn't dream you up!

She observed him, weighting him up.

-Wow!

She exclaimed ironically.

-I admit that last night was spectacular, but a dream? You flatter me.

Jod swallowed, looking at her with adoration.

-You are a dream come true. You are...

-Enough, Jod.

She silenced him.

-You are making me uncomfortable.

Fern looked uncomfortable. She had always been when he showered her with compliments and looked at her as if the galaxy itself revolved around her.

-Do you want me to scrub your back?

He asked her to break the tension. She did not answer but stretched out her arm, handing him the soap. Jod lathered her back and she arched towards him, speechlessly inviting him to continue washing her in other places as well. Being already naked, Jod joined her in the shower, kissing her neck.

-I want you.

She whispered to him, leaning her hands against the wall and pushing her pelvis against his arousal. She spread her legs slightly, offering herself to him.

-Like this? From behind? In the shower?

Jod asked, wanting to be sure he hadn't misunderstood her.

-Yes.

He slid his hands in front of her, caressing and exploring her, slipping one finger into her and then two. Then he took himself in his hand and guided himself into her body from behind. He pushed her against the wall, moaning along with her. He wrapped one arm around her waist and with the other leaned against the wall and then began to thrust, rhythmically and maintaining a slow and deep rhythm, fucking her against the wall. It was wonderful, even if in that position he could not kiss her. He licked her neck and gave her small kisses with his mouth open.

-Can I Fern? Can I bite you?

-Yes, yes!

He bit her neck as he climaxed, ferociously sucking on the skin and then licking it gently. He stepped out of her body, earning a frustrated moan from her and knelt in front of her, spinning her around and resting one of her legs on one shoulder, kissing her and using his fingers to make her come too.

Afterward, Fern helped him get back up because the shower was slippery and she was afraid Jod would fall.

-I have to go out in a while. We have things organized throughout the day.

She said to him, getting dressed.

-How long will you stay here on the planet?

Jod asked her, sitting on the bed wearing the bathrobe.

-Three more days.

Fern answered, redoing her braid.

-Can I wait for you here?

Jod asked her hopefully, fearing a negative answer from her. Fern shrugged.

-If you want. But I warn you that I'll be away all day, I'll come back before dinner to take a shower and change and then I’ll go out again. You are not invited.

Jod nodded.

-That's fine. I won't get bored. There's the holonet terminal!

Fern snorted and then seemed to hesitate, observing him.

-I'm heading out. See you tonight.

-Bye Fern.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, she approached and then, with a rapid movement, bent over and give him a short kiss on the lips before leaving. Jod brought his fingertips to where her lips had been and smiled.

When she returned, Fern found him lying in bed, still wearing the bathrobe.

-Have you been lazing all day?

She asked and he shrugged, waving his hand and turning off the holonet with the Force. Fern bit her lip and quickly undressed, climbing into the bed and pushing him to lay flat with his back against the mattress, hastily pushing aside the bathrobe. Jod made a sound of surprise but then kissed her eagerly, grabbing her breasts and helping her impaling herself on him. Fern arched over him, slowly sinking and groaning. Then she looked him in the eye and grabbed him by the shoulders.

-Up, up. Sit up.

Jod complied, sitting up and meeting her ravenous mouth. He stroked her back, breasts and grabbed her tightly by the hips, helping her move as she took what she wanted. Once she reached orgasm she got up and he made a cry of protest but did not insist: she had climaxed and was not required to return the favour.

-Come.

She said, pulling him by the shoulders, rolling on her back and pulling him over her, between her legs.

-Fuck me, come inside me. I love it when you come inside me.

Almost not believing his luck, Jod obliged her, trying to relish the feeling of being enveloped in her warm and welcoming body for as long as possible. She had even begun to moan again when he could no longer hold back and reached climax with a satisfied grunt. He kissed her and she kissed him back. Then he touched her where their bodies were still joined.

-Are you still up to it?

Fern moaned and arched beneath him. Jod came out of her body and replaced his member with three fingers, giving her another orgasm quickly. Unfortunately, Fen did not stay in bed with him but got up immediately.

-I have to go out again. I don't know what time I'll be back.

-Have you thought about my idea?

Jod asked him. Fern hesitated at the bathroom door.

-Yes, but I still have to decide.

Jod hoped that those days would never end. He never left Fern's room, having his meals brought up. Every time Fern returned to the hotel, they made love and at night she allowed him to sleep wrapped around her. Every day Jod asked her if she had made up her mind and Fern replied she had still to decide. On the morning of the last day, Fern packed her bags, putting away all her belongings and emptying the room. Jod was almost afraid to talk to her, fearing rejection, fearing losing her again.

Once everything was ready for her departure and she was dressed again in her officer's uniform and Jod wearing the clothes he had had when they met, they stared at each other, in front of the bed they had shared for the past three days.

-Your clothes stink, Jod.

Fern told him. He nodded.

-I will change as soon as I am at the ship.

They stood silently watching at each other, then Fern sighed and rubbed her forehead.

-Your habit of drinking until you pass out must end. Now.

Jod nodded again, but in his heart he knew he would start again that same night: he wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that he wouldn't be able to hold her in his arms anymore.

-I don't want my man to smell like an alcoholic. I’d be embarrassed in front of my friends. They approve, you know? They said that in the last few days they have seen me relaxed and happy as they had never seen me.

Jod felt his heart pounding in his chest as hope blossomed in him.

-I am still convinced that I do not want a stable relationship. If it’s okay with you, you could be... How did you say? My casual steady lover, right? If it's okay with you, then it's okay with me.

-Thank you, Fern.

He managed to tell through the lump in his throat.

-It would make me very happy.

-You have to stop drinking, I'm serious!

-I’ll stop!

Jod swore and this time he was sincere.

-We won't be able to see each other often. I will keep you informed of my whereabouts.

-I will always be available for you. Call me whenever you want, even if it's just to talk, to complain about your colleagues, for any reason! I’ll answer.

Fern looked at him hesitantly, leaning over to him and placing her hands on his shoulders.

-I’m still worried that you will try to manipulate me to get back together. I want to remind you that I am no longer the Fern you used to know. I will not fall into your traps again. I warn you, Jod: I've suffered your molestation, the rush you made me because you wanted to fuck me when I was too young for you, the times you were abusive in bed, and the time you beat me. I won't stand for it any longer. I love myself too much to allow you to abuse me again. Don't do it or I'll leave you so fast that your head will spin and if you try to force me to stay, I'll report you and have you thrown in jail. I haven't forgotten how you threatened to chain me to your bed and never let me out of your house again.

Fern's words filled Jod with shame. They were true and he knew it.

-You're right, Fern. I manipulated you to seduce you, I rushed you because I am greedy. Impatient, remember? But it was never my intention to hurt you. And I'm happy, happy that you love yourself more than you loved me. I love you and I don't want you to suffer because of me. If I hit you or hurt you again, then I will deserve everything you promise to do to me.

-I really hope that this time things go well between us.

Fern admitted. Then she kissed him, hugged him one last time, and left the room, taking her suitcase with her.