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The sun baked down on the sands of the Tottori Dunes, heating the cloth on Kagome's back as she crouched in the sand carefully excavating the corner of a temple roof. Gentle, steady hands worked with soft brushes and delicate tools as she cleared away bits of grime and the detritus of centuries.
This temple was relatively young as far as antiquity went, only about four hundred years old, give or take. But it, along with an entire village, had been lost in what historical texts claimed was a supernatural storm. Her colleagues categorized them as folkloric explanations steeped in the lingering superstitions of an isolated people.
Once upon a time she would have completely agreed. Now though, she remembered the wind witch and her fan, thinking of how burying a village in a sandstorm would have been child's play to her. Kagome could never help but wonder what Kagura would have been like if she hadn't been forced to serve Naraku. Burying a village is something he would have commanded without a thought. And she would have done it....
Shaking her head to dispel the dark thoughts, Kagome refocused on the task at hand. After her time in the past she couldn't help but be drawn to the study of history. It felt more real to her than the present did. That had eventually led her to becoming an archeologist. Being a historian was all well and good but it wasn't close enough for her. She ached to touch the past, in any way that she could. You couldn't get much closer than digging it out of the ground and showing it off for all the world to see. So that's what she did.
As she worked she occasionally ran her fingers over the patterns carved into the stone that she was freeing from their golden grained imprisonment. They were incredibly well preserved, despite the centuries of exposure to dirt and sand.
“Hey Kagome! Quittin,’ time!” A brash young man stood above her on the hill. She liked Adam. Despite the drastic difference in looks, he sported blonde hair and green eyes, he reminded her so much of Kouga. Though thankfully without the constant insistence that she was his woman. The young man often called her his ‘favorite girl’ but that moniker was often replaced by ‘little sister’ as well, and she found it a comfort after so long without her old friends.
Joining him, they walked to the campsite where their other crew mates were already setting up the fire for the night. She loved these nights, even with the burning ache they caused in her heart. Sonja was a German woman whose common sense approach to life reminded her of Kaede. Yvette was a young French woman with the same joyful attitude that Rin had. Pedro loved pranks. Killian loved women.
So many similarities to the people she had loved and lost, but it was never quite the same. Kagome cherished the bittersweetness of it all anyway. But still, she was grateful that no one on this dig reminded her of Him. That loss was one she still hadn't recovered from. It had gotten easier over the decade since the well locked her back in her own time, but the hole left in her heart had never closed.
She was pulled out of her melancholy musings by the sound of a yelp as a small firecracker went off under Killian's chair. Shaking herself back to the here and now she spent the rest of the evening focusing on what she did have.
But that night, she dreamed of Him.
It had been years since that had happened but suddenly her sleep was filled with fangs, and claws, and eyes that burned into her soul every time they looked at her. She awoke in the morning with quiet tears streaming down her face and Yvette's concerned voice in her ears.
“-gome, Kagome. Wake up, you're having a nightmare."
Cracking her eyes open, she was forced to blink away the tears that were rapidly pooling in the corners.
“Are you okay? You started crying in your sleep.”
“I'll be alright.” Kagome sighed. “My subconscious just decided to dredge up some ancient history while I slept.”
“Do you need to talk about it?”
“No, but thank you, Yvette. You're a sweetheart. Go ahead and go back to sleep.”
It was still earlier than she liked to get up but she wasn't ready to try sleeping, and perchance, dreaming again. So she got dressed and went in search of coffee.
Adam was already there, yawning and scratching his ribs as he poured himself a cup. “Mornin’ Kags. What brings you out so early?” He passed her the cup he had just filled, grabbing another for himself.
“Thanks. Couldn't sleep, had a bad dream that I really didn't want to see again.”
“Do you have bad dreams often?”
“Not really. Not anymore, anyway. I haven't dreamt This One in a long time.” She mentally winced as her brain parroted His usual form of self-address.
“Recurring nightmare? Hmmm, something you need to be in therapy for?” There was Kouga's cocky grin again, a perfect match for the teasing tone that accompanied his words. Bitter and sweet.
“Psssh, the only therapy I need comes from having to deal with you every day.” Lighthearted words to hide the old pain. How she wished there was still someone around who knew, who could understand. But there wasn't, and all she was left with were the dusty relics of a history that no one knew had really happened.
Forcing a smile, Kagome finished her coffee and said, “Come on, we're both up early, may as well get as much done as possible while the sun is still low.” She tried to throw herself into her work with her usual enthusiasm but the dream clung to her. A mix of memories and nightmare imaginings. And always at the end, the look of pure brokenness in His eyes when she fell into the meido.
He had tried to follow her, but even His speed hadn't been enough. Inuyasha had made it through instead, and he had tried, oh how he tried to bring her back with him. But whatever was in control of the well had forced them apart, and took Inuyasha from her side, sealing itself up after him. Ten years now and she hadn't even spoken His name since that day.
She had told her mother everything, sobbing in her arms just like she did when she was a child. All the struggles, all the trials, all the brief precious moments where they were happy despite everything, and all the quiet, stolen moments where frozen amber slowly warmed to molten gold over time. The way her title had changed from Miko, to Kagome, to Koi, and the hopes she'd had of gaining one even more precious. But she had never once said His name aloud. It weighed too heavily on her tongue when she tried.
Instead he came to her in her dreams brilliant and bright, memories of his small smiles, of His gentle touch, of the million tiny things that he only ever showed to her. And then the nightmare would take over, and sometimes it was visions of blood and loss and Naraku winning, sometimes he simply left her, sometimes she abandoned him. But without fail, it always circled back to the memory of seeing Him break when He couldn't reach her in time.
Kagome was startled out of her daze by the sound of the lunch gong. Looking down she was surprised to realize how much work she had managed to do without realizing it. At lunch she forced herself to focus on her friends, letting them pull her back from the past, trying to anchor herself again.
She managed to keep it together the rest of the day but that night the dream came back again, and again the next night, and the next. After a week of almost no sleep and nearly damaging a piece of the temple carvings she was working on, their medic ordered her back to the city to rest and recuperate.
Adam drove her back to town, and got her settled in the apartment the organization leased during long term digs. Normally it would be used when investors and the like came to check on their progress and make sure their money wasn't being wasted. It came in handy during times like this.
Her friend fussed around her like she was a sick child, tucking her into the bed and making her promise to stay there while he went and fetched groceries. When he came back he had a random assortment of canned soups, cups of ramen, chips, pocky, and at least five different teas that supposedly helped you sleep. She couldn't help but laugh at the mix of terrible food and health remedies.
“Hey, don't laugh. I gotta take care of my favorite girl, and we all know this ninja food is the only thing you can safely cook.”
“What did you call it?!” Such innocuous words, but they shot a bolt straight through her heart.
“What, the ninja food?” he shrugged. “That's what we always called it in my family. Never really asked why....hey, you okay?”
“Yeah...yeah I'm fine.”
“No, you're not. You've gone all pale again. Come on, you're taking one of the sleeping pills the doc gave you and I will be staying on the couch tonight to make sure you rest. And no arguing!” he added when she opened her mouth.
“Uuugh, yes big broootheerr,” she drawled sarcastically before climbing back into the bed. She hated taking medication that messed with her awareness but at this point she was desperate for rest.
The sleep that soon claimed her was blessedly deep and dreamless. She woke feeling somewhat better but her eyes still held their haunted look. Adam made breakfast and coffee, sat her down and said, “It's time to talk, little sister. Something is eating away at you, and it isn't gonna get any better if you just let it fester. Now, it's just you and me here with no one else to overhear. So spill.”
“I....lost someone. Years ago, and I can't forget Him. I can't go into the how and why, that's...too painful, ’You'll think I'm crazy’ but I haven't been able to let go and move on from it. I, I can't even speak His name aloud. It hurts too much,” she paused, trying to keep the tears from becoming sobs.
“Love of your life, eh?” Adam's voice was gentle, coaxing her to continue.
“Yes.” She said without hesitation. “I love Him just as deeply now as I did a decade ago. And when I dream, it starts out as memories. Some good, some bad, some wonderful. But it always turns dark, always becomes a nightmare where I lose Him all over again, and the pain is the same as it was the first time. Every time.”
“Shit, sis...no wonder you haven't been sleeping. And the dreams just randomly started up again? What triggered it?”
“I don't know. Nothing I've encountered recently has reminded me of Him. It just, hit me out of the blue. I do remember, the evening before the dream came back, I was thinking how everyone on the team has aspects that remind me of my friends from back then. Maybe that's what it was. Too much familiarity shoved me down memory lane.”
“So you lost a friend group as well?”
“Yeah, we were, we were all really close. The same thing that took him from me also broke our group apart.”
“Did you ever try to get help dealing with all of this?”
“I tried, ’who could I possibly tell without getting sent to an asylum?’ but the therapists I found just seemed to talk in circles about learning to let go without any practical advice. So I quit going. I'd rather keep my painful memories and feelings for them than let go and lose them.”
Silence stretched between them as they sipped their coffees. But he could see that Kagome still needed to talk about it, even if it was the meaningless aspects.
“Sooooo, was it love at first sight?” His tone was teasing, but he was still surprised at the way she snorted with laughter in response.
“Oh lord no! He hated me at first. I was friends with His younger half-brother and they had beef between them, Daddy issues and what not, and He didn't want to have anything to do with me. Ironically, all of my friends back then started as enemies too. But I won them all over in the end.”
“Soooo what I'm hearing is that you are just absolutely awful at meeting people for the first time, and it's a miracle you have any friends at all. Got it.”
“Hey, it wasn't my fault! There was a real asshole around at the time who absolutely delighted in spreading lies and rumors to turn people against each other. Everyone was mad at me to start with because he decided to target me. I reminded him of a girl who turned him down, and the sicko wanted revenge. Once we managed to get the truth sorted out every one of them became my friends.”
“Man...I do not miss the drama of high school.”
“Ha, yeah. My high school experience was definitely a wild time.”
Another silence stretched between them, this time much more relaxed, as they finished their food and coffee.
“Thanks for giving me the chance to talk, Adam. It's been forever since I have told anyone even that much. it was good that I got it out, good but tiring. I'm gonna go lay down again. You can leave the dishes and I'll clean up later.”
“Alright, Kags. I promise I'll send you pics of our progress while you're gone so you don't feel too left out.”
“You're the best, Big Brother.”
She didn't dream again for the couple days. The relief of it kept her from trying to get back to the dig immediately. Much as she was loathe to admit it, she desperately needed the rest.
True to his word, Adam sent her pictures daily. They had excavated the temple and were working on cleaning and preserving the facade before trying to open the doors. Something about the design of the place had struck her as odd from the start, and now as they were breaking details free from their sandy coffin she realized she recognized the feudal era Japanese motifs, which didn't make sense. This temple was one to two centuries later in the timeline, the style would have changed by the time this place was built.
The main doors were flanked by large relief panels on either side. The upper portions seemed to depict an open sky with clouds that billowed and curled like....like His youki when he flew. She stared and stared at the photo, badgering her team with dozens of questions and requests for close-ups.
The next progress photo showed flowers drifting through the sky, seemingly stirred by the swirling winds. If these were following local design traditions then it looked like it depicted Sedum, Artemisia, and Globemallow. Plants that represented peace, divine protection, and strength. This temple was intended as a haven for someone or...something. She felt a strange thrill running down her spine, whether from fear or anticipation, she wasn't sure.
She didn't dream that night, but she still awoke with Him filling her mind. Thoughts of his voice in her ears, and the ghost of his touch on her skin. He loved to rest his hand on her shoulder and stroke his thumb against the curve of her throat, right where he intended to place his mark once everything was finished with Naraku.
The memories still ached, but the freedom from the poison of the nightmare had her sinking into them gratefully anyway.
For two days she was able to drift in memories without fear. She didn't know why or how the change occurred but she wasn't going to question it. Strangely, the more she relaxed into her memories, the stronger her desire to return to the dig became.
Two days later Adam sent her photos of the bottom of the panels at the end of the day. One depicted a woman in the garb of a Shinto priestess, the other, a giant dog leaping on clouds of youki, a crescent moon emblazoned on its forehead.
She couldn't breathe. There's no possible way this was anything other than what she thought it was. Why else would there be a Shinto temple depicting the canine form of her lost love? Is this why the dreams had started again? Because He was so close?
With fumbling fingers she texted Adam, “S.O.S.” and didn't respond after that. She hated to worry him but any explanations would just have him thinking she needed to stay away longer. Silence would have him drop everything to rush back. And she needed him to rush because she needed to get to that temple as soon as possible.
The dig was a two hour drive away, but Adam was at her door in one, nearly wrenching it off its hinges as he barreled through. “Kagome!! What’s wrong!? What happened?!” He was frantic, and she was guilty, but she'd make it up to him later.
“I'm sorry for worrying you, Adam, I really am, but I need to get back to the site right now. It's an emergency.”
“What's going on, Kagome?”
“I promise I’ll explain. But I can't do it in any way that will make sense until we get there and I can show you. Please, Big Brother, trust me?” She felt underhanded calling him that, but she knew he would take it seriously. His family didn't grant family titles lightly. Being dubbed little sister meant he would treat her as one of his own no matter what.
He ran his hands over his face with a frustrated groan. “No fair playing dirty, Sis. Come on, let's go.”
The drive back was tense. Adam had tried to ask questions but she just reiterated her plea to wait. So they road in uncomfortable silence. Kagome gripped the photos she had printed of the temple reliefs, poring over them as though she could find some new details she had missed before, something that would explain everything to her.
It was late enough that there wouldn't be any traffic on the roads they were using and Adam was speeding just as much as he had on the way in. A risk she was grateful for. When they reached the dig sight, he slipped around the outside of the camp, heading straight for the temple before coming to a stop at the edge of the excavation.
“We're here, now what?”
“Come on, I need to see it for myself.”
Trekking down to the doors, she shone her flashlight over the carving of the dog. It was Him, unmistakably Him. Reaching up to trace the moon carved on his brow, she whispered it at long last, “Sesshoumaru.”
As the word passed her lips a spark passed between her fingers and the stone, a barrier shimmered into life around the temple, swirling around her hand where it was pressed against the stone. It felt...welcoming.
“Kagome....maybe now would be a very good time to tell me what you're doing.”
“Adam...do you believe in time travel?”
“What are talking about?”
“Once upon a time, I fell down a well and landed 500 years in the past, and then later, the well pulled me back and sealed itself up. Leaving Him behind, and now he's here, in this temple and I can finally stop dreaming.”
“Kags, do you realize how crazy that sounds?”
“Y'all haven't been able to open the doors, have you?”
“How did you know that? No one has even been able to touch them, or figure out why that is.”
“It's because there's a barrier in place.” Before he could say anything, she reached out and pressed her hand to the door, the barrier sparked to life, glowing with a purple light that even Adam could see.
“What is happening? How did you do that?!”
“I'm a miko, and I promise I will answer all your questions later. Right now I need to get inside, I need to get to Him.”
He stared at her and the swirling barrier that gleamed and sparked under her.
Kagome stared after him for a moment before turning her focus back to the barrier in front of her. It felt so warm and familiar and it made her want to weep. Placing both hands on the doors she whispered, “Please, let me in.” and pushed.
She wasn't sure what to expect when she entered the temple, but seeing Sesshoumaru sealed below a carved reproduction of Goshinboku absolutely was not it. He was leaned against the trunk as though he were sleeping, with one arm propped on a raised knee, just as he always did during their travels. She made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob and raced over to him.
He was dressed in his usual silks, but his armor was gone, and around his neck hung a round gem carved from white quartz, it buzzed faintly with reiki. She couldn't help but laugh at that. Knowing him, using a replica of the jewel as a seal, was his idea of a grand symbolic gesture symbolizing his dedication and devotion....or something equally pompous.
Reaching up with a shaking hand, she grasped the bauble and let her reiki flow around it. It shattered immediately, and his youki came flooding out, washing over everything like a tidal wave before it swept back and sank into him again. The sensation left her gasping for breath as she reached up to turn his face towards her.
His claws twitched first, always the predator, then his lungs swelled with breath, and then her scent hit him and red eyes sprang open. He lunged towards her in the same instant, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her as close as possible. Hiding his face in her throat, drinking her in with heaving breaths, hands shaking as he clung to her. And all the while her name slipped from his lips, chanted like a mantra as he let her presence soothe his tattered heart. “Kagome, Kagome, Kagome..."
She was sobbing, hot tears soaking the heavy silk of his robes. After so long, after so many years of being afraid to speak his name, now she was crying too hard to say it. Blindly peppering kisses up the column of his throat and across his face, she lifted his head to claim his lips. Finally, after ten long, cold years, her heart began to beat again.
A burst of youki slammed the doors to the temple shut, and Kagome forgot that anything else existed for a long while.
“What happened to you, Sesshoumaru?”
Just before sunrise Kagome had realized that staying in the temple any longer was not a prudent idea. Poor Adam looked close to fainting when she stepped outside with a very possessive inu clinging to her. Taking care to refer to him as big brother she asked him to tell the director that she was taking a longer leave “for her health”, before directing Sesshoumaru to whisk them back to the apartment. Eventually, his instincts calmed down enough that they could actually talk without him constantly interrupting to kiss her.
“After Inuyasha returned without you he swore that we would be able to see you again when we reached your time. I tried to wait, to keep myself busy preparing for that day. Your book that speaks of your past was left behind. We used it to prepare a place of safety for our kind.”
“You mean?!...”
“If nothing has happened to change it since I was sealed, then yes. Many of your youkai companions should still be alive now.”
The joy suffusing her aura made her glow like the sun, happy tears sliding down her cheeks as she tried to hold him even tighter than she already was.
“But, if you created a haven for youkai then why were you sealed in a custom made temple in Honshu?”
“For a century I worked to build, to save, to protect. To create something that would honor all that you had hoped to achieve. And I succeeded. And then, there was nothing else. Nothing but four more centuries of your absence. It was more than I could bear.
“There was a miko in Honshu who was willing to seal me away so that I could be found later. So I made my peace and my farewells to the pack and came here. I knew nothing else until I awoke to your scent.”
“And the extra fancy temple?”
“You were the child of a shrine. I had hoped that such would lead to you having knowledge of other shrines and help you to find me as soon as you returned. I had not anticipated the temple being lost centuries before you were born.”
“Mmm, seems almost like fate that I just so happened to become an archeologist, eh?”
“Indeed. You were always meant to be mine, my precious Mate.”
The title sent a thrill down her spine. One she didn't think she would ever tire of. Leaning up to kiss him she said, “I would love to go see the haven you created for my sake, and finally be with my friends again.”
“Whenever you wish, Mate.”
“Mmmm, soon. But, not just yet.”
“No,” he whispered, pulling her closer. “Not just yet."
The End.