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The ride back to the apartment is awkward as hell.
Garrick fails to hide his obvious shock when Xaden yanks open the passenger door and pushes Violet into the backseat, right between the two of us. He just stares for a few heartbeats, eyes wide, jaw slack, and doesn’t snap out of it until Xaden barks at him that there was a gunshot, and he better get moving before we all get our asses caught.
While the town car might be more spacious than most sedans, it really wasn’t designed for three people in the back when two of those people are as large as Xaden and myself. Even with Violet being, well tiny, we’re all cramped, and it’s impossible for our legs and arms not to brush up against each other. Impossible not to feel the adrenaline running off each other’s bodies in waves of heat.
“What the hell happened in there?” Garrick asks, going slower than usual so as not to draw unnecessary attention. No one seemed to follow us from the gala. No use giving them a reason to now.
“Need to know information,” Xaden replies curtly, voice marginally steadier than it had been in those moments after the gunshot in the hotel room, but the look on his face screams don’t fuck with me, and I know for damn sure that Garrick sees it when he glances in the rearview mirror.
But he’s always had the least patience of the three of us. “You shove a Sorrengail into my car, and you’re seriously not going to tell me why?”
“Keep pushing, Garrick,” Xaden tells him, one hand curling into a fist on his knee. The other still holds Violet’s gun. “I can always find another driver.”
Despite their years of friendship, I know he means it.
The next turn Garrick makes is unnecessarily aggressive. Violet slams into my side, Xaden falling into hers, and her hand somehow ends up right in my lap.
And fuck. Somehow, despite everything about tonight, despite being sure we were going to die less than an hour ago, that accidental touch still stirs something inconveniently warm in my blood, and no matter how much I try to fight it, I fucking can’t. Violet Sorrengail tried to kill Xaden tonight, and I still want to fuck her.
It makes absolutely no sense. I should want her dead.
Fuck me.
Xaden straightens back up, and then Violet does as well, but I can still feel her hand on me like a phantom touch. My body wants more. Craves it. My mind flooding with all of those thoughts I indulged in earlier, when I thought we were about to fuck in that hotel room, and I can’t help the hot rush of desire that courses through me.
But I can do my best to fucking hide it.
I put my hands securely in my own lap, tucking my arms in so they don’t touch her again, and do my best to think of literally anything else besides Violet and her incredible body and those fascinating, intelligent eyes.
Unfortunately, the only other thing my brain can seem to focus on is that goddamn gunshot, and each time I replay that nightmarish moment in my brain I’m filled with the same overwhelming sense of dread and panic.
So I accept this stupid, illogical, highly inconvenient arousal instead. It’s better than feeling like I’m going to throw up in pure fear for my cousin’s life I guess.
When the three of us finally make it up to the penthouse, I’m just glad for the chance to put some space between me and Violet. In the comfort of the familiar, climate-controlled space, I feel like I can finally breathe again. Xaden tells Violet to sit , and she does, her eyes sweeping over the apartment from where she sinks into overstuffed couch cushions with a huff, but I know she’s cataloguing everything. Potential weapons, possible escape routes, anything that might give her an advantage.
“Watch her,” Xaden mutters as he passes by me and into the kitchen.
So I do. I head to the couch opposite the one she’s currently sitting on and settle in, one foot resting over my knee, and reach inside my jacket to run one thumb along the handle of my own gun—retrieved from the bathroom floor back in the hotel before we rushed out.
Violet raises her brows. “You don’t need to keep your hand on your gun. Your cousin already has my weapon. What am I going to do, throw a couch cushion at you?”
“Speaking of,” Xaden chimes in from behind the kitchen island where he’s already pulled out three rocks glasses, “go ahead and search her, Bodhi. She hid the gun, who knows what else she’s got up there.”
My lip curves into an amused smirk when she gawks at the command, her cheeks glowing pink once again. “I don’t have any other weapons!”
“And I don’t trust you after the little stunt you pulled at the hotel.” Xaden turns to me with a nod. “Search her.”
Any amusement fades from my face as I get to my feet, suddenly all too aware of the effect this woman has on me. Of what searching her in a dress like that entails. How much I’ve been avoiding touching her at all since the car ride, since her fingers glided dangerously close to my cock and made me want.
“Hold still,” I murmur, running my hands first down her sides, the seams of her shimmering black dress. There’s nothing in the back that could conceal anything, given how entirely exposed all of that gorgeous skin is, but still, I dip my hand just under the fabric where it pools at the lowest part of her back, fingers brushing the top of her perfect ass and finding a hint of something lacy. Violet’s breathing hitches, and the sound goes straight to my cock. God, I want her. I want to hear what other noises I can drag out of those soft, sensuous lips with my fingers alone. Swallowing hard, I bring my hands back to her front, smoothing them over the curve of her breasts while she heaves an indignant gasp, but I don’t pay her objections any mind. Anywhere she could be keeping anything needs to be checked, and I certainly wouldn’t put it past her to be storing another weapon in her cleavage. I’m not underestimating her. Not a second time.
I drop down to my knees next, right in front of her feet, and when my gaze darts up just briefly, I catch her licking those beautiful lips, then immediately looking away when she catches me looking. “There’s nothing else on me,” she insists, her voice strained as I run my eyes down her body for what has to be the hundredth time this night.
Ignoring her protests, I slide both hands up the silky smooth skin of her legs, all the way from her ankles to her thighs, burying myself in the layered skirt as I reach higher and higher, Violet squirming under my touch with each inch I climb.
I trace around the leather band of her thigh holster, and Violet bites her lip like she’s trying to keep quiet. My fingers move inward, brushing up her inner thighs with slow, precise movements. When she clenches those thighs tight, I just raise a brow and stare up into her stormy eyes. “Keep your legs apart so I can search you properly.”
“There’s nothing up there.” Her face is so deliciously red as she glares down at me on my knees.
“You’ll forgive me if I don’t take your word for it,” I tell her drily, nudging at her knee until she relents with an exasperated sigh, and though she wants me to think she’s annoyed I don’t miss the way her eyes flutter shut on the quietest, breathy gasp as I reach between her legs, my fingers gliding over delicate lace.
“Find anything?” she quips.
I press down more firmly against the front of her pretty little lingerie in retaliation and smirk when I hear a sharp inhale. “Not yet. Should I do a cavity search next?”
I hear Xaden snort from the kitchen.
“Don’t you dare.” I grin up at her, desire dancing in my eyes no doubt, but I don’t dip my fingers inside that lace much as I might be tempted. No, I slip my hands over to her hips instead, tracing the band of lace around to her backside, and then I’m the one holding back embarrassing noises as my hands meet her bare, perfect ass. Fuck. It’s surprisingly toned, perfectly shaped. All of her is really, given how fragile she appears at first glance, and I wonder just how long her mother has had her training.
“You almost done, Bodhi?” I can hear the clear amusement in the tilt of Xaden’s voice as he places drinks—three of them—onto coasters on the coffee table.
And as much as I’d happily spend the entire night with my hands on Violet’s beautiful ass, I’m even more curious to know exactly what Xaden’s plan is here, so I slide my hands back down Violet’s legs and out from under skirt.
“Did you enjoy that?” Violet shoots a wry look towards my lap, where all of my groping has me half hard already. Xaden shoots me a look that’s equal parts hunger and warning when he follows her gaze.
I swallow and get to my feet, taking my spot on the couch right next to Xaden, directly across from our mark.
Xaden hands me my drink, and I take a long, steadying sip, letting the warmth of the liquor burn my throat and soothe that tight, coiled feeling inside of me that wants nothing more than to get my hands on the woman across from us again.
Xaden takes a drink as well, then glances pointedly at Violet and down at the third glass. “That one’s for you.”
She stares like he’s lost his mind. “You’re more stupid than you look if you think I’m drinking that.”
Xaden sighs, then shrugs. I can feel his body shift where our shoulders brush against one another, and I’m glad for the closeness, even if it’s doing nothing to damper the sweet song of arousal playing just under my skin. “You want mine instead?” Xaden puts his glass down on one of the coasters, pushing it across the table, then picks up the still untouched drink and takes a sip. He licks around the entire rim for good measure, just to prove a point. “See?” He motions down towards the glass. “No poison. I told you I just want to talk, Violet. Besides, this is good scotch. I’m not wasting it on killing you when I could do that just as well with my hands.”
She narrows her eyes at him in distrust, but she does finally relent and take the drink.
The corner of Xaden’s lip twitches up. “Good.” He says the word like a taunt. “Now that we’re all sitting here like civilized adults, no one aiming a gun at anyone else’s head, let’s talk.”
“I don’t know what you think—”
“No,” Xaden cuts her off with a raised hand and a stern look. “Sorry, I should have been more clear. I’m going to talk, and you’re going to sit there quietly and listen until I’m done.” She glares, chewing at the inside of her cheek and looking very much like she’s already decided on ignoring that order. “It’s only fair considering you shot me tonight, and I very graciously did not shoot you back.”
“You know what? Fine.” Violet leans back into the cushions and crosses her arms over her chest, half shrugging one shoulder. “Talk. I’d just love to hear what you think is so important that you had to drag me all the way here to tell me.”
I would also very much like to know, but I keep that comment to myself.
Xaden sits up straighter, puts his glass back down on the coaster, and tilts his head as he studies her face, that flicker of laughter in his face from a moment before vanished entirely. “Your mother didn’t come after my father and his operation because she feared for her life.” He exhales softly through his nose, a muscle in his jaw tensing. “My father had been working on a new strategic partnership, a deal that was years in the making. One of the richest men in the city, a man with plenty of enemies, looking to do business with one, experienced guild exclusively.” I blink in surprise. This is the first I’m hearing of it, years and years later. How long has this all been eating at Xaden, knowing the truth of why our parents were killed, and keeping it locked away inside, where no one else can get to it? I press my shoulder against his in quiet solidarity, and watch his chest expand on a deep breath. “Your mother wanted that deal desperately,” he tells her. “Every outing my father went to, every event with a chance to speak to this man, to make his pitch, to build a relationship, there was Lilith Sorrengail, doing the exact same. But when all was said and done, it was my father he was choosing, and that failure hit your mother right in her pathetic ego apparently.” He leans forward, elbows braced on his knees, and stares directly into Violet’s intent hazel eyes. “My father may have been an assassin, but he wasn’t a monster. If he had been the one rejected over a fucking contract, he wouldn’t have come after your family. He would have gotten back out there and found another client, and then another. He would have worked harder, just like he always did.” Xaden’s hand clenches into a fist, and I glance up at the shadows on his handsome face, at the anger and hurt in those dark eyes. “He wasn’t perfect, but he was a good man in all the ways that mattered to me, and your mother took him because she was too fucking greedy to accept that she lost.”
Across the table, Violet recoils at the swell of rage raising his voice.
And I can see it now, right there in her eyes… Violet really, truly didn’t know.
Whether she’ll believe Xaden or not remains to be seen, but I can tell that she’s just as shocked as I am.
“She planned it for a night when she knew my father’s guild was having a large scale meeting at the House. When she and her people would be able to take out as many members as possible.” Xaden laughs a humorless laugh. “She did her research, I’ll give her that. Her timing was perfect, and they were caught entirely unaware. Dozens of children became orphans that night. Did you know that?” I flinch at the reminder of everything we lost, and watch Violet visibly swallow in discomfort. “I kept track of all of them. Names and addresses of the foster families they moved in with. I check in on them when I can. It’s not like they have anyone else who gives a damn whether they live or die.” I reflexively move to put my hand on his arm, but when I see that hard, burning hatred in his eyes, I draw back. I hesitate.
I’ve never seen Xaden so righteously angry, but I’ve also never seen him vulnerable like this. Honest. Something about Violet Sorrengail has unlodged a piece of him that’s been stuck for years, and I don’t dare do anything to break the spell while he still has more to get off his chest.
“I was supposed to be at the meeting that night.” I feel my heart stop beating in my chest at the declaration. Xaden’s voice noticeably softens, his eyes a little distant, no doubt replaying a memory I was never privy to. I can’t believe I never knew. Xaden… he was only seventeen. And they would have slaughtered him too. Every muscle in my body feels too damn tense as I process the horror of it, the thought of a world where I made it out but he didn’t.
“I would have been,” Xaden continues, “but my father changed his mind at the very last moment. Sent me out of the House with Bodhi. He told me that they had heard whispers there might be threats made against our family, and my aunt didn’t want him going out alone. That I needed to look after him and get him home safe.” Xaden suddenly reaches for his drink and downs half of it in one go, coughing slightly at the burn in a way that he never does. “I was furious with him at the time,” he admits, nearly whispering the words, like they’re something shameful, and I realize all at once that to Xaden, they are. “I didn’t want to babysit”—I flinch and hope Xaden doesn’t notice—“I wanted to be in that room with him. I wanted to be at his side.” He blinks a couple of times, and when I glance over at my cousin, I notice his face is a shade paler than normal. Like he’s seen a ghost. “He was protecting me. I don’t know how he knew, why he didn’t just call off the damn meeting…” Xaden shakes his head. He’s not even looking at Violet anymore, his eyes unfocused and aimed somewhere vaguely near the center of the coffee table. “But he was protecting me, I know it. I was just too stubborn to see it at the time.”
“Xaden…” I place my hand on top of his, and the relief I feel when he accepts the gesture, when he uncurls his fist to let me hold that hand, is absolutely immeasurable. He doesn’t look at me, but he squeezes my fingers back in recognition, and that’s more than enough.
He heaves a breath that’s uncharacteristically unsteady and drags his gaze up to Violet’s face once again. “So, no. My father wasn’t planning on taking down your mother or your family.” He presses his fingers into his closed eyes and rubs at them for a few seconds, like he can force the memories no doubt flashing behind his eyelids farther back into his skull, then drains the rest of his scotch. “I don’t really know why I’m telling you any of this, except…” He hesitates, eyes narrowing as he stares down at the empty glass in his hands. “I don’t know how much of tonight was an act, but I like to think I’m a good judge of character. If any of what I saw in you tonight is true, well…” He swallows. “I just think you deserve to have all of the facts to make up your own mind instead of believing whatever lies your mother is feeding you. That’s all.”
The room falls silent, and I squeeze Xaden’s hand so hard I’m afraid I might hurt him, but he doesn’t protest. Doesn’t even flinch.
Violet’s lips are parted, but she doesn’t say a single word, just stares at Xaden with wide, thoughtful eyes. That humanity I remember from out on the balcony flashes behind them as she reaches for her own scotch and takes a generous swallow. Like she needs to steady herself just as much as Xaden does.
“You can talk now,” Xaden tells her, sounding awkward for what may just be the first time in his life.
“I know.” She blinks a couple of times, as if trying to clear her head. “I know, I’m just… processing.”
I squeeze Xaden’s fingers, silently reminding him that so am I.
Regardless of the fact that he’s letting Violet in on all of this history, I don’t want her to know just how little I knew. Not yet at least.
Xaden turns slightly to the side, catching my eye with a look that’s as close to apologetic as I think he’s capable at the moment.
The thing is, he doesn’t need to apologize. I’m not upset with him for holding this back. He clearly wasn’t ready to talk about it.
I can’t even imagine how hard it was for him that first year, to have known as much as he did, to carry that guilt with him, and not have anyone to talk to. I wonder if it’s what he thought about when he got down on his knees and pretended to pray each night.
Then, finally, Violet speaks. “She really was lying all these years, wasn’t she?” Xaden lets out a heavy breath, and my shoulders slump in relief at his side. “There were always things that didn’t quite line up between her story and other bits of information I picked up around the guild, but I tried to ignore it. I convinced myself there had to be a reason.”
“There was apparently,” I respond drily.
“Yeah,” she agrees, shaking her head in a combination of reluctance and disbelief, “I guess there was. Fuck.”
“Violet?” Xaden prompts, surprisingly gentle as he leans in and scans her face.
She just shakes her head again, lower lip pulled between her teeth. “What am I supposed to do now?” Her eyes flash with desperation as her gaze swings between me and Xaden. “I can’t go back,” she says, her voice rising with each word, “I can’t let her keep manipulating me like this, working for her when she did something so horrible—”
And maybe it’s stupid or naive of me, but Xaden is a good judge of character, and I swear I saw that same something in her tonight. So I blurt out the only answer that makes sense. “Stay here.” Xaden’s head snaps toward me, his jaw dropping slightly, but I ignore him. It’s my home too after all. “We have extra rooms. You can stay as long as you need.”
“Bodhi—”
I cut him off with a glare, though I’m a bit surprised when he actually does stop short. “You’re the one who dumped the truth on her like this.” I ignore the steady thumb stroking against my palm where our hands are still intertwined. “I’m not letting you put her into a state of shock just to kick her to the curb. Either she can stay here, or I’ll go rent a place somewhere else and she can stay with—”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Bodhi.” He glowers at me, and I try not to smile. I knew that would work. Xaden isn’t letting me move out. “Fine. She can stay here, but you’re taking care of her.”
“I’m not a stray puppy,” Violet scoffs, “I can take care of myself.”
“Good point,” Xaden muses, inspecting her face for a long minute, “you’re more like a cat. All temperamental, just begging to dig those claws into someone.” He smirks at her look of blatant offense. “No, taking care of Bodhi is much more like looking after a puppy. He’s softer around the edges. Plus, he likes to bite,” he adds, tossing me a devious smirk and squeezing my hand once more before rising to his feet and sweeping the empty rocks glasses into his arms.
“I’m a grown man, Xaden!” I shout after him.“You do not look after me!”
He looks back at me with a pointed eye roll. “Sure I don’t.”
Well, okay, maybe he does. But I look after him too. It’s a mutual effort, the two of us leaning on each other to get by for all these years.
I stare at him as he walks back to the kitchen, and my eyes are instantly drawn to the way his immaculately tailored dress pants hug his ass with each step. My lips tug up at the corners. When I finally turn away, Violet is watching me watch my cousin with a knowing smile.
I quickly glance away, eyes darting down the hall instead and fighting away my inevitable blush. “So,” I ask, trying my best to get her thinking about something besides me staring at Xaden’s ass, “do you want me to show you your room? The one closest to this end of the hall is set aside for two of our friends, but you could take the one next to mine if you want? There’s a couple of other empty ones as well. It’s your choice.”
When I glance back, Violet’s not the only one looking at me. Xaden is keeping careful watch now as well, his eyes fixing on me from the other side of the kitchen island, one side of his mouth pulled up in a little half smile. Like watching me stumble over my words is the perfect entertainment.
When I catch Violet’s clever eyes again, her smile only widens. “I was thinking maybe you could show me your room instead?” she prompts, glancing up at me through thick lashes. “Or Xaden’s maybe?” Xaden straightens from across the room, already stalking back over toward the two of us. “I think we were in the middle of something earlier, before we were interrupted.”
“If I recall,” Xaden tells her, looking down to meet the playful spark in her eyes as she stands from the couch, that tantalizing dress sweeping the floor as she does. Xaden grabs her by the chin, tilting her face up to stare into his, “you were the one doing the interrupting.”
She offers a coy little shrug, eyebrows raised in faux innocence. “Whoops.”
“Maybe you can make it up to us, Violet?” I suggest, stepping around the coffee table to wrap my arms around her slender waist, pressing myself right up against that perfect ass. I remember exactly what it felt like in my hands earlier, and my blood sings with excitement and blinding heat at the thought of finally touching that bare skin again. Stripping off that tease of a dress and finally getting my eyes on the lace that I know lies underneath.
“Oh, I think she will,” Xaden says, running his thumb along Violet’s lower lip. She chases the touch with her tongue, but Xaden just pulls it back with a smirk before fixing those dark, ravenous eyes on me instead. “And don’t think I forgot just how reckless you were earlier, Bodhi. Kissing me in front of Violet.” He shakes his head. “What were you thinking?”
I tug Violet tighter against my body, and she gasps as my growing erection rubs against the skin of her exposed back through the front of my pants. “It all worked out just fine,” I tell Xaden, purposefully dismissive, pushing all his buttons while I mouth at the silky smooth skin of Violet’s delicate neck.
Xaden takes a step closer, plastering himself against Violet’s front and gripping me by the hair, forcing my lips away from her skin until I’m looking at him and only him. “Oh no, don’t think you’re getting out of trouble that easily. You have some things to make up to me as well.” I don’t bother reminding him that he pulled plenty of reckless stunts tonight too. It doesn’t really matter. Xaden’s not actually angry at me, and I do love when he reminds me just how in charge he really is. In the guild, in our bedroom, it doesn’t matter. I’ll follow Xaden with my every breath. My hips roll against Violet’s back just thinking about what’s to come, and she makes a soft little sound in response, pressing back against me with equal need. Xaden, observant as always, notices every second of it. “Come on,” he says, letting go of his grip on my hair a little more roughly than necessary as he rounds the coffee table and motions for us both to follow. “My room. Both of you. Now.”
I nip playfully at Violet’s ear as he strides down the hall. “You’re in for a real treat,” I murmur into the shell of her ear. Then I grab her smaller hand in mine and tug her along down the hall, eager not only for the familiar comfort of Xaden’s hands on my skin, but for this new, exciting unknown as well. To see exactly what it’s like having Violet Sorrengail sandwiched in between us. I’m certainly ready to clear my head after all the excitement we’ve had tonight.