Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

grotesque-werewolf

[PHOTO: Screenshot of Misha Collins as Castiel saying “I love you”, followed by Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester saying “The pope is dead.”]

Pope Ignatius has died at the Vatican, aged 84.

#so sorry if this is how you find out #destiel meme #pope ignatius 

———————————————

hellcatsandcars

Sounds like St. Luke wasn’t that good of a physician after all

#the pope #pope ignatius #rip pope ignatius #deadiggy2k24

———————————————

howisthepope

dead

#the pope #pope ignatius #pope

Pope Ignatius, voice for the poor and modernizer of the Catholic Church, dies at 84

By ROBERTA SCHIAPARELLI, GWEN HEARTH, and ANTON TUCKER for CNN
Updated 11:49 AM EDT, Sat October 19, 2024

Rome (CNN) — Pope Ignatius, voice for the poor who tirelessly worked against fierce resistance to modernize the Catholic Church, died of a sudden heart attack at the age of 84, the Vatican announced.

The pope passed away the day after the feast of St. Luke the Evangelist, patron saint of, among other things, physicians. While there had been no outward signs of failing health, medical records released by the Vatican state that his most recent physical did reveal “evidence of blockage” on an angiogram. In spite of this, the pope presided over services and hosted audiences as usual, including a Vespers service prior to his final meal with the Prefect of the Papal Household, Archbishop Janusz Woźniak.

“It is with great sorrow that we announce the unexpected passing of our dear Holy Father at 12:12 AM earlier this morning,” said Cardinal Joseph Tremblay, the Vatican Camerlengo, to the press gathered outside the Casa Santa Marta, the Vatican guesthouse where Pope Ignatius had lived since his election in 2013. “With immense gratitude for his leadership of our Mother the Church and his exemplary embodiment of the virtues worthy of a disciple of the Lord Jesus, we commend Pope Ignatius’ soul to the infinite love of our Triune God.”

In the absence of a pope, Cardinal Tremblay will act as regent of the Vatican, while Cardinal Thomas Lawrence, Dean of the College of Cardinals, will be the public face of the Vatican as he prepares to summon the conclave to elect the next pope… [READ MORE]

howisthepope

dead

———————————————

jakobynebodoopravdy

jaksemápapež

mrtvý

———————————————

ralkm

comoestaelpapa

muerto

———————————————

utopiansukiyaki

kyokowadodesuka

死んだ

#translations

VICINO News English  @VicinoEN
Pope Ignatius, the first Jesuit and Belgian leader of the Catholic Church, died shortly after midnight on Friday. He was 84, and will be leaving behind a legacy of progressivism in the Catholic Church. #RIPPopeIgnatius

Maxima TEMMERMAN  @TemmerMax
I think I can safely say that my heart, and the hearts of all Catholics in Belgium, broke tonight hearing the news of the passing of Pope Ignatius. As the Catholic Church’s first Belgian and Jesuit pope, Pope Ignatius (formerly Card. Henri Fourier) was a tireless defender of the poor and marginalized even in the face of fierce opposition. May he rest in peace at last. #RIPPopeIgnatius

President Richards @POTUS
Just heard the news of the passing of Pope Ignatius. What a terrible loss to the world. He was a good and humble man taken from us too soon. Rest in Peace and may God bless all those who mourn for him. #RIPPopeIgnatius

PM’s Office of Japan @JunichiroMatsudaira
▼Message of condolence from Prime Minister MATSUDAIRA Junichiro on the demise of His Holiness Pope Ignatius 

[Provisional Translation]

I was extremely saddened to hear of the passing of Pope Ignatius.

Since 2013, Pope Ignatius has dedicated himself to protecting the poor and the planet, as well as advocating for peace and dialogue across different nations. Supported by approximately 1.4 billion Catholics, he was a force for change around the world.

In his relations with Japan, Pope Ignatius looked to the shared history between the Society of Jesus, of which he is the first pope, and Japan for guidance. His visit in 2019 was the first time in 38 years since Pope John Paul II visited in 1981. His meeting with the survivors of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the kindness he showed to them, was a powerful message for peace.

I would like to express my heartfelt respect for the achievements of His Holiness to date.

The demise of Pope Ignatius is a loss not only for the Vatican and Catholics, but also for the international community. I would like to express my sincere condolences on behalf of the Government and people of Japan.

Maria Fernandez Alvarez @MFA
La muerte del Papa Ignatius ha dejado una profunda herida para nosotros los mexicanos. Recordamos su visita en 2019 cuando habló de la necesidad de apoyar a los que sufren de pobreza y aquellos marginados. Su fallecimiento es una gran pérdida para la Iglesia Católica. Descanse en paz.

Translated from Spanish: The death of Pope Ignatius has left a deep mark on us here in Mexico. We remember his visit here in 2019 when he spoke of the necessity of caring for the poor and the marginalized. His passing is a great loss to the Catholic Church. Rest in Peace.

The Royal Family @RoyalFamily
Message from the King on the death of Pope Ignatius:

Mary and I are deeply saddened to learn of the death of Pope Ignatius. This sudden tragedy is tempered for us only by our memories of meeting with His Holiness earlier within the month. We are so grateful to have been able to have such an opportunity before his passing.

His Holiness will be remembered for his compassion and dignity, for his pioneering leadership of the Church, and for his tireless work for the benefit of all humanity. His belief that care for Creation is the purest expression of one’s care for God transcended across nationalities and faiths. He will be missed and mourned by all of the lives that he has touched.

The Queen and I send our most heartfelt condolences and sympathies to the Church His Holiness served with such diligence, and to all the people around the world who are now mourning this devastating loss. Our hearts will be with yours in the days to come.

James R

Joseph Card. Tremblay 🇨🇦 @frtremblay
My heart is grieving at the passing of our Holy Father, Pope Ignatius, who will be remembered for his humility and care for the dispossessed and the marginalized. His soul is in God’s hands now. #RIPPopeIgnatius

r/explainlikeimfive • 25m ago
u/militarizedsubconscious 

ELI5: What happens next now that the Pope’s dead?

What now? How do we get the next pope? 

RIP Pope Ignatius btw

10 Points   6 Comments   Share 

nxll_n4m3 • 10m ago
Mourning rites will happen first, for 9 days. Pope Ignatius’ body will be viewable to the public during this time. The funeral will take place in St. Peter’s Square, and then in 15-20 days the cardinals will gather in a Conclave to select the next pope. 

The Conclave itself is a secret process. After the ceremonials on the first day, the cardinals will then kick everyone else out and lock themselves in the Sistine Chapel to vote. They will only be allowed to leave the chapel for meals and sleep and are not allowed to have any contact with the outside world (including news and social media). The first ballot will be held in the afternoon on the first day, and then on the following days they will hold 4 ballots: 2 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. If after 3 days no cardinal has reached the 2/3rds majority necessary to become pope, voting will be suspended for a day of reflection before commencing again for another 7 ballots. Only after 30 ballots (across approximately 12 days) can the cardinal with just a simple majority be declared the next pope.

First, the cardinals write the name of their desired candidate on a special ballot card marked with “Eligo in Summum Pontificem” (I elect as Supreme Pontiff). Then they, holding up their card to show that they are only casting one ballot, approach the balloting urn and swear an oath before God that this person on their card is who they choose to elect. The urn is supervised by 3 scrutineers, drawn by lots prior to the start of voting from amongst the cardinals. If any cardinal is sick, other cardinal-scrutineers known as infirmarii will go to them, whether in the Chapel or in their room, to collect their votes. Once all the votes are collected, they are then shaken up, removed, and counted.

One scrutineer will unfold the card; another will read the card; another will pierce the card with a silver needle on the word “elect” and thread it onto a red cord before announcing the name. All three will have noted the vote; if their tallies do not match at the end, the ballot is invalid. A third set of scrutineers will double-check the tallies afterwards even after that, making it incredibly difficult to rig the vote for any particular candidate. If there is a winner, the ballots are burned with a chemical that produces white smoke. If there is no winner, the ballots are collected in two-ballot batches (with the exception of the first vote on the first afternoon) and burnt with a chemical that produces black smoke.

Once there is a winner, the Dean of the College of Cardinals will ask him if he accepts the position of pope. (If the winner is the Dean, then the sub-Dean of the College of Cardinals will ask the question.) Sometimes, an electee will not accept, but typically those who will not accept the position would have made that clear before the start of the Conclave so that they will not be voted for. Once the electee accepts, they will then be asked to select a Papal name (like a regnal name for a King) and then taken to the Room of Tears adjoining the Chapel to change. After the white smoke is produced, the election and the name of the new pope will be announced in Latin (“Habemus Papam”). The new pope will then give their first address to the crowd in St. Peter’s Square.

5 points

zolanibor • 20m ago
They lock a bunch of old men in a room and don’t let them out until they’ve voted for a new King of Catholics. 

-1 points

Chapter Text

geuggysongs • Follow
St. Peter’s Basilica

[PHOTO: Selfie of Instagram user geuggysongs inside St. Peter’s Basilica, near the papal altar where the crimson casket bearing the body of Pope Ignatius can be faintly seen]

Liked by seanlicker81 and others

geuggysongs Rest in peace papa
25m

grobzoid should’ve left this one in the drafts girl
23m  148 likes

——— View replies (45)

jorolle 💔💔💔💔
10m  28 likes

AP PHOTOS: Notable attendees at the funeral of Pope Ignatius at the Vatican

[PHOTO: The coffin of Pope Ignatius is borne past world dignitaries, including U.S. President Jeffrey Richards, center, during his funeral in St. Peter’s Square at the Vatican, Saturday, October 26, 2024.]

October 26, 2024

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Ignatius was mourned at his funeral Saturday as a compassionate and humble leader of the Catholic Church, and a tireless supporter for those who lived in the world’s margins. A who’s who of the world’s most powerful heads of state and royalty have all gathered in the miniscule country of Vatican City today to pay their respects.

Notable among the mourning dignitaries gathered in front of St. Peter’s Basilica today were U.S. President Jeffrey Richards and Britain’s Princess Catherine and Prince Henry. Former U.S. President Ellen Claremont and her husband Senator Oscar Díaz were also in attendance in the first row, only a couple mourners away from the Richardses.

[PHOTO: A wide shot of black-clad mourners, with U.S. President Jeffrey Richards near the lower right corner of the frame, and former U.S. President Ellen Claremont a couple spots away beside Catherine, the Princess Royal, and her son Prince Henry.]

In honor of the first Belgian-born pontiff, Belgium’s Prime Minister Maxima Temmerman was in attendance, alongside Italy’s Premier Vittorio Cialdini and President Sergio Raffanelli.

[PHOTO: Belgian Prime Minister Maxima Temmerman and her brother Stefaan talk with Cardinal Willem Vandroogenbroek, one of the last cardinals to be appointed by Pope Ignatius.]

[PHOTO: Cardinal Thomas Jacob Lawrence, Dean of the College of Cardinals, gives his homily during the Funeral Mass for Pope Ignatius.]

President Richards @POTUS
What an honor it is to go to the Vatican for the funeral of #PopeIgnatius! Klarissa and I are so happy to be there!

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd
At least my mom didn’t fall asleep at his funeral lol

President Richards @POTUS
What an honor it is to go to the Vatican for the funeral of #PopeIgnatius! Klarissa and I are so happy to be there!

Titties Andonika @andonika
@theagcd #EllenClaremontWasRobbed #HolleranLuna2024

🛩😱 @n-x-northwest
can’t believe we’ve got a pope and a president election in the same year. that’s too many elections

tumble dry on low heat @thatwashingmachine
my vote’s for the cardinal with the cunty cape and diabolical vape hits 

howisthepope

Tumblr Conclave 2024: Round 1

Round 1 - It is time to vote for your favorite cardinal and see who deserves the title of Pope of Tumblr. 

Each poll will run for 1 day. In the first round there are 6 cardinals per poll, except for the last one because maths. Subsequent rounds will be 2 cardinals per poll. The 2 most voted cardinals in round 1 will advance.

Propaganda campaigns for a cardinal are welcome but please don’t insult each other.

Feel free to lock yourself in a room while you vote for the full conclave experience.

Round 1 - 1

Aldo Bellini
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Simo Guttusto
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Rui Brandão D’Cruz
🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Calogero Scozzazi
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Thomas Lawrence
🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Gatis Brotzkus
🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

#popepoll #fantasyconclave #tumblrconclave

[VIDEO: Pulsating fancam of Goffredo Cardinal Tedesco strutting across St. Peter’s Square after Pope Ignatius’ funeral, looking incredibly gruff and fabulous in his scarlet cape and puffing on his vape. The video is captioned: HEAR ME OUT]

Comments 89   Likes 103

marswantssleep
you know he’s a homophone right
1d  reply  ♥️75

yoursuicidalcupcake 🧁
homophobe in the catholic church? fork found in kitchen
1d  reply  🤍23

deadinthename • CREATOR
inside me are two wolves
1d  reply  🤍30

irisbellemoon 🌚
i thought it was impossible to serve jesus and cunt at the same time?
18h  reply  🤍86

grimeshound
i could fix him
12h  reply  🤍25

Chapter Text

yourlocalnerdychristian

Q&A: It’s Conclavin’ Time!

Q: What happened to Pope Ignatius?

A: Heart attack, apparently. He was in his 80s, so it’s not that surprising.

Q: What’s happening now?

A: The Catholic Church is a-lookin’ for a new pope! The conclave to elect the next pope will begin sometime between November 8th and November 12th; until then the Vatican is undergoing a series of funerary rituals and “general congregations”, i.e. the cardinals are all meeting to discuss what they’re going to be looking for in the next head of the Church, and where they hope the next head will take the Church. It’s all pretty hush-hush, especially the conclave itself, since no one who isn’t a cardinal under the age of 80 is allowed in. 

Q: How many cardinals does it take to elect the pope?

A: A two-thirds majority. Since there’s 117 cardinals expected to take part in this conclave, the new pope will need to get 78 of those votes.

Q: What is the next pope going to be like?

A: For sure? Nobody knows.

My educated guess? There’s been a big push from the Western conservative side lately because of Ignatius’ many departures from tradition. Goffredo Tedesco, Patriarch of Venice, has been particularly loud in his disapproval of Ignatius’ policies. That being said, Ignatius has appointed more than sixty new cardinals, fifteen in the last year alone, and many of these newcomers will want someone who will continue Ignatius’ work, which makes folks like Secretary of State Aldo Bellini look particularly attractive as successors. It seems like the two sides are headed for a long, drawn-out deadlock, but my fingers are crossed that someone similar to Ignatius in outlook, temperament, and humility will prevail.

Q: But who are the front-runners?

A: In vague left-right (kinda hard to really gauge it for sure in this context) terms: Sá, Xalxo, Bellini, Lawrence, Adeyemi, Tremblay, Tedesco.

Q: How do you pronounce that?

A: Khal-koh.

Q: What are the general congregations focusing on so far?

A: According to the Italian news (usually the most reliable sources on this info), there’s been talk about returning the Church to its old traditions (Latin Mass, harder stances against LGBTQ+/female ordination/abortions and contraceptives, etc). There’s also some concerns about the increased risk of terrorism after the bombings in Malmö earlier this year and the return to power of the Taliban in Afghanistan after the U.S. withdrawal in 2020-2021. The Vatican is pulling out all the stops to ensure the cardinals’ safety for the duration of this conclave.

Q: Any drama yet?

A: Besides everything that comes out of Tedesco’s mouth? So much. It’s no secret that Ignatius’ reign has put him in conflict with many of the old guard in the Curia, and the Church’s long-standing corruption and sexual assault scandals haven’t made things any easier. Up until the end, there had been rumours that Ignatius was planning to demand the resignations of Bill Rudgard, Prefect of the Dicastery for the Causes of Saints, and Roberto Tutino, Prefect for the Dicastery for Bishops—probably because they were exposed recently for accepting bribes to fast-track beatifications and spending half a million euros on an apartment renovation, respectively.

These betrayals from within Ignatius’ Curia have made his vision of the Church vulnerable to criticism from the likes of Tedesco and his followers—which now also includes Paul Krasinski, Archbishop Emeritus of Chicago. Krasinski has recently been casting some serious shade on the late Pope going on tradcath podcasts about how the Church needs to be “restored” to “her proper path”. If you see a cardinal with a blinged-out gold pectoral cross when the conclave starts, chances are they’re probably in Tedesco’s faction.

(Also allegedly Archbishop Woźniak, former Master of the Papal Household, has been drinking more than usual. But that’s just some rumors going around on Vatican-watching Twitter.)

#catholic #deadiggy2k24 #conclave 2024

unna @indolics.bsky.social
As the College of Cardinals gathers for the next Conclave, let’s take a quick look at some of the frontrunners, or papabili, who have the best odds of becoming our next #pope. 🧵1/

unna @indolics.bsky.social
ALDO BELLINI, 74, current Secretary of State and former Archbishop of Milan. He is expected to continue Pope Ignatius’ legacy in the Church. Advocate for “common sense” policies regarding LGBTQ+ and divorced individuals, and supports interfaith and intercultural outreach. Odds: 3:1. 2/

[PHOTOS: Four photographs of Cardinal Bellini: his official photo, an archival photo of him holding mass as an Archbishop in Milan, a photo of him with Pope Ignatius, a photo of him embracing a person with a rainbow drawn on their cheek.]

unna @indolics.bsky.social
JOSHUA ADEYEMI, 60, current Cardinal Major Penitentiary and former Archbishop of Lagos. Speaks at length about the evils of capitalism, but once infamously said that “homosexuals should be in prison in this life and hell in the next”. If elected, would be the first black pope. Odds: 5:1 3/

[PHOTOS: Four photographs of Cardinal Adeyemi: his official photo, a photo of him with a row of young nuns and postulants, a photo of him playing football with children in Ondo State, a photo of him giving a fiery speech before a crowd of screaming worshippers.]

unna @indolics.bsky.social
JOSEPH TREMBLAY, 79, Camerlengo and Prefect of the Dicastery for the Evangelisation of Peoples. Formerly the Archbishop of Québec, Tremblay is the favourite amongst North American cardinals for American-adjacent doctrinal beliefs without the disadvantage of actually being American. Odds: 6:1 4/

[PHOTOS: Four photographs of Cardinal Tremblay: his official photo, an old photo of him in his hockey kit holding a stick, a photo of him posed in front of the Notre-Dame Basilica of Montreal, a photo of him talking with the press shortly after the death of Pope Ignatius.]

unna @indolics.bsky.social
GOFFREDO TEDESCO, 71, Patriarch of Venice. Risen from a poor southern Italian family to lead the Archdiocese of Venice, Tedesco’s mixture of populism and traditionalism appeals to those who wish to pivot from Ignatius’ reforms back to the old hierarchies and Latin Mass. Odds: 5:1 5/

[PHOTOS: Four photographs of Cardinal Tedesco: his official photo, a black-and-white photo of him when he was a younger priest in Basilicata, a photo of him with other conservative cardinals in Venice, a photo of him in full bishop regalia presiding over mass.]

Lazlo Vincent @melancholyskittle.bsky.social
Fingers crossed for Bellini! The Church must move forward with the times.

unna @indolics.bsky.social
As the College of Cardinals gathers for the next Conclave, let’s take a quick look at some of the frontrunners, or papabili, who have the best odds of becoming our next #pope. 🧵1/

brat conclave @ne-brat-ska.bsky.social
we are days away from papabile cardinal stans popping up

the Experience Machine™ @topaziuss.bsky.social
Vatican’s Next Top Pope

brat conclave @ne-brat-ska.bsky.social
If you check TikTok there’s already Tedesco stans because of his outfit at Pope Ignatius’ funeral.

meow @cleverchaoslight.bsky.social
we are days away from papabile cardinal stans popping up

meow @cleverchaoslight.bsky.social
@ne-brat-ska I feel like I just lost a little bit more faith in humanity reading that

brat conclave @ne-brat-ska.bsky.social
@cleverchaoslight We can’t be all that bad. We managed to get Holleran back into the White House, didn’t we? #WeDidItMike

meow @cleverchaoslight.bsky.social
@ne-brat-ska yeah and watch us undo that progress by getting Pope Tabasco

howisthepope

Tumblr Conclave 2024: Quarterfinals

Round 5 - We’ve made it to the quarterfinals! Here are the 8 cardinals that Tumblr has deemed worthy of the papal throne. Good job weeding out a lot of the not-so-great guys in round 4, though I’m kinda surprised Tedesco has gotten this far… 

Polls run for a day, propaganda is still allowed, and for the full immersive experience lock yourself in a room and wear a snazzy red cape!

Round 5 - 1

Aldo Bellini
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️

Modesto Villanueva
🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

———————————————

howisthepope

Round 5 - 2

Joseph Tremblay
🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Goffredo Tedesco
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

———————————————

howisthepope

Round 5 - 3

Giulio Sabbadin
🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Willem Vandroogenbroek
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

———————————————

howisthepope

Round 5 - 4

Benedito Manuel Reis Sá
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️

Joshua Adeyemi
🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

#popepoll #fantasyconclave #tumblrconclave

samreyna • Follow
Piazza del Risorgimento 

[VIDEO: Panoramic shot of a crowd of protestors in the Piazza del Risorgimento, the closest public square to the Vatican, shouting and waving numerous signs in numerous languages. 

Among the English ones are: PROTECT OUR BORDERS, NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL, FAMILIES FOR CATHOLIC UNITY, LOVE IS LOVE, and WHEN WILL THE CATHOLIC CHURCH APOLOGIZE FOR ITS ABUSE? 

Also in the crowd are flags: Progress Pride flags, Ukrainian flags, Palestinian flags. 

One person has even brought the trans flag and is waving it from a lamppost.]

Liked by tryagainlit and others

samreyna What’s going on 😭
5m  34 likes

serapheisthinking Catholic Coachella
2m  250 likes

——— View replies (45)

costellations let’s have a conclave 💃💃💃
3m  89 likes

———————————————

akamitrani • Follow
Fiumicino Airport

[VIDEO: A baggage claim carousel at Rome’s Fiumicino Airport. A handsome man who looks like he’s in his late 50s with medium-length jet-black hair, brown skin, and a plain black cassock is walking past the carousel with no bags at all.]

Liked by bibliayaoi and others

akamitrani do u think he’s here for the conclave
10m

howisthepope

Tumblr Conclave 2024: Semifinals

Round 6 - Semifinal time! We’re now down to our FINAL FOUR: Aldo Bellini, Willem Vandroogenbroek (one of my favourites, but I’m a bit biased), Benedito Manuel Reis Sá, and, somehow, Goffredo Tedesco. (To be fair to Tedesco he definitely has more charisma than Tremblay…) 

You know the drill!

Round 6 - 1

Aldo Bellini
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Willem Vandroogenbroek
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

———————————————

howisthepope

Round 6 - 2

Benedito Manuel Reis Sá
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️

Goffredo Tedesco
🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

#popepoll #fantasyconclave #tumblrconclave #aldo bellini #willem vandroogenbroek #modesto villanueva #goffredo tedesco

Chapter Text

Holy Mass for the Election of the Roman Pontiff — November 8, 2024

Vatican News - English
316K subscribers

66,193 views   8 November 2024

From St. Peter’s Basilica, the Holy Mass “Pro Eligendo Pontifice”, or for the Election of the Roman Pontiff presided by Cardinal Thomas Jacob Lawrence, Dean of the College of Cardinals.

———————————————

Comments are turned off. Learn more

LIVE from the Vatican | Conclave 2024: Mass “Pro Eligendo Pontifice” for the Election of the Pope

EWTN
1.25M subscribers

345,219 views   Streamed live 8 November 2024  #sistinechapel #stpetersbasilica #vatican

Live from St. Peter’s Basilica, Holy Mass “Pro Eligendo Pontifice” presided over by Cardinal Thomas Jacob Lawrence, Dean of the College of Cardinals.

A few hours before the start of the conclave, at 10:00 a.m., the Holy Mass “for the election of the Roman Pontiff” is celebrated in St. Peter’s Basilica. #vatican #pope #conclave #vaticancity #catholicchurch #sistinechapel

———————————————

108 Comments

@mollyodonnell 5 hrs ago
Is Cardinal Lawrence trying to pick the next Pope with his speech? It feels like he’s trying to sway the Conclave with this. Political campaigns have no place in this sacred process. Only the Holy Spirit knows who the next Holy Father will be, not Cardinal Lawrence!
44 likes

⛛ 35 replies

@bluelivesmatter 5 hrs ago
Come O Holy Spirit and fill the hearts of the cardinal-electors so that they may come together and find a truly humble and worthy man to lead our Mother the Church 🙏✝️
12 likes

@being-lion-hearted 5 hrs ago
Did St. Paul not also write in 1 Corinthians 14:8 “For if the trumpet give forth an uncertain note, who shall prepare himself to the battle?” Cardinal Lawrence should not be mischaracterizing St. Paul like this, as an apostle of doubt! The last thing the Church needs right now is more doubt! Does not the Holy Spirit grant certainty in the selection of the new Holy Father? Has Cardinal Lawrence read the Bible recently?
8 likes

⛛ 2 replies

@barbiebecky 4 hrs ago
finally cardinal lawrence has shown his hand. he is one of those woke priests who’s constantly undermining the catholic faith and its teachings!
12 likes

@proverbs34wife 4 hrs ago
Hoping Cardinal Tedesco will become the next pope. He will right the ship of God that is our Mother the Church. 🙏
10 likes

@idkwottowritehere 4 hrs ago
I miss Wojtyła
8 likes

⛛ 2 replies

@conclover 4 hrs ago
F in the chat for Pope Iggy
4 likes

⛛ 1 reply

@ScottWalker_179 1 hr ago
You’d be mad not to invest in $MEMEAICOIN rn

howisthepope

Tumblr Conclave 2024: Finals

Round 7 - FINALS - We’ve made it to the final two to determine who will be made Pope of Tumblr! In one corner we’ve got Aldo Bellini, and in the other is Benedito Manuel Reis Sá. 

Let’s pick a pope!

Final Round

Aldo Bellini
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Benedito Manuel Reis Sá
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

#popepoll #fantasyconclave #tumblrconclave #aldo bellini #goffredo tedesco

———————————————

hasagilog

fuck it, rating cardinals based solely on vibes

aldo bellini - look at him, he’s so cute with his shiny bald head and big glasses. what a dork. i hope he wins not just bc he’s our best liberal option but because he’d look so funny done up in white in the popemobile. 10/10

benedito manuel reis sá - my radical leftist king there’s no way they’re gonna vote him in with the conservatives being so obnoxious but u are the pope in my heart 100/10

joseph tremblay - has the charisma of a hockey stick and the face of chuck schumer. 0/10

willem vandroogenbroek - look at him, he’s just a harmless lil grandpa. just a lil belgian guy who supports gay rights. i love u cardinal poirot 100/10

joshua adeyemi - he’s got such nice uncle vibes it’s a shame he’s a raging homophobe. 0/10

thomas lawrence - english (derogatory) but lowkey he ate with that speech of his? without doubt there is no faith? god grant us a pope who doubts? pop off king 50/10

goffredo tedesco - unfortunately he slays. just bc i would punch him in the face if i ever met him for real doesn’t mean i don’t have eyes. 100% aura farming at iggy’s funeral with that cunty lil catwalk of his. -10000/10 only bc he’s archconservative

hot mystery archbishop - i don’t know anything about him other than the commentators on my livestream saying he’s archbishop benitez of kabul but he’s giving maknae energy 100000/10

#conclave 2024 #conclave #catholicism tw #pope

Entrance into the Conclave — November 8, 2024

Vatican News - English
316K subscribers

25,858 views   8 November 2024

Procession of the Cardinals from the Pauline Chapel to the Sistine Chapel, and the start of the Conclave.

———————————————

Comments are turned off. Learn more

———————————————

3125 Comments  Reply

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

CumClave 2024
Date: 2024-11-8 ## UTC
(Anonymous)

The cardinals are now in the cum clave

(Anonymous)
So we’re just gonna wait until they cum?

(Anonymous)
time to start the lemon party

(Anonymous)
What is that?

(Anonymous)
Nothing better than a bunch of old men making tender love 

(Anonymous)
Sounds about right for meme. Someone should put some cardinal hats on the lemon party guys

(Anonymous)
PAPA OOH LA LA
ROMA RO MA MA
PAPA OOH LA LA
WANT YOUR HOT CUMCLAVE

(Anonymous)
If they shoot glitter out the Vatican chimney does that mean Gaga’s the new pope

(Anonymous)
Habemus gagam

(Anonymous)
So what are meme’s predictions for the new pope?

(Anonymous)
It’s probably going to be Bellini but I’d be happy for a non-Tedesco pope

(Anonymous)
Even if it’s Adeyemi?

(Anonymous)
Well then we’d have the first African pope

(Anonymous)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:African_popes

(Anonymous)
AYRT First *modern* African pope ykwim

(Anonymous)
The news are saying there’s an unexpected new cardinal? Anyone know who he is?

(Anonymous)
Reuters is saying that he’s Archbishop Benitez of Kabul. Must’ve been made a cardinal in secret because… well, Kabul. 

(Anonymous)
I thought secret cardinal appointments expired when the old pope dies?

(Anonymous)
Apparently Pope Ignatius actually changed canon law on in pectore appointments so that as long as the Dean of the College of Cardinals receives the appointment letter from the Pope before the start of the conclave the in pectore cardinal is allowed to remain a cardinal and vote in the conclave (provided he hasn’t aged out, which in the case of Archbishop Benitez seems unlikely. Dude looks pretty young)

howisthepope

Tumblr Conclave 2024: Last Minute Surprise Cardinal Round!

Something extraordinary has happened: we have a new cardinal! He was appointed in secret by Pope Ignatius before he passed, and this is the first time we’re all hearing about him. Naturally, I thought we should give him a chance in our Tumblr Conclave, too.

Which one would you choose?

Aldo Bellini
🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Vincent Benítez
🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️

Someone else
🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️

Profiles under the readmore!

#popepoll #fantasyconclave #tumblrconclave #aldo bellini #vincent benitez

———————————————

davonati

congratulations to tumblr’s new people’s princess pope

✨ vincent benítez ✨ 

#i have had cardinal benitez for 1 hour and if anything happens to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself #vincent benitez #i don’t even go here i’m jewish but i’m still feral for this man

Chapter Text

our lady of perpetual headaches @migraineegg
the girls are sequesterrred #conclave2024
[PHOTO: Animated GIF of Archbishop Mandorff closing the doors to the Sistine Chapel]

hazza @realpersonfacts
not me having fomo about #conclave2024

[PHOTO: Animated GIF of Eric Andre shaking a fence shouting “Let me in!”]

Sofa the Couch @couchcolors
Me dropping everything to go watch a chimney for 12 hours #conclave2024

[PHOTO: Edited screenshot of Miranda Cosgrove dressed as a cardinal.]

k a u h l @virtualrain
you might even say i’m… addicted to the pipe #conclave2024

[PHOTO: Screenshot of the Vatican papal chimney, with a seagull perched on top.]

i booped a boop @excuse-u-im-punny
fingers crossed it’s bellini #conclave2024

[PHOTO: Election poster urging people to vote for Bellini #1]

poperwatch @cloudsofsmoke
Can they elect the seagull as pope #conclave2024

[PHOTO: Screenshot of the Vatican papal chimney, with a seagull perched on top.]

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
(BREAKING) NOOOOOOOOO POPE #Conclave2024

[PHOTO: Live Smoke Reaction meme with black smoke.]

angelicautism

[PHOTO: Screenshot of the Vatican papal chimney issuing black smoke.]

So… no pope?

[PHOTO: Animated GIF of the “So… no head?” vine where a man throws down his mobile phone and breaks his skateboard.]

———————————————

citruspuddle

Wouldn’t it be funny if the mystery cardinal won the conclave 

———————————————

tabbycat-trashcan

If he is who the news say he is, then his Vatican bio’s pretty stacked

[PHOTO: Screenshot of Vincent Benítez’s (newly-uploaded) page on the Vatican Press Office site, stating:

BENÍTEZ Card. Vincent 

followed by a photograph of him in a black cassock and a short biography.]

———————————————

citruspuddle

wait, now i’m manifesting it. make cardinal benitez the new pope 

like to charge reblog to cast

#conclave 2024 #vatican’s next top pontiff #mystery cardinal #vincent benitez #??? i guess?

Sudden Mystery Cardinal Perhaps the Late Holy Father’s Plan?

by Alessandra Buoni for La Repubblica
November 8, 2024

VATICAN CITY - The recent surprise appointment of Vincent Card. Benítez, Archbishop of Kabul, has increased rumours of the late Holy Father’s involvement in shaping the outcome of this Conclave. While the Vatican Press Office claims that the late Holy Father’s decision to keep Cardinal Benítez’ appointment in pectore was out of concern for his safety, given the dangers of his posting, other Vatican insiders are already hinting that, based on the discussions held in the general congregations prior to the cardinals’ sequestration, that the sudden rise of Cardinal Benítez is a sign of the late Holy Father’s wishes for the future direction of the Church. 

This goes in hand with the allegedly ex tempore homily given by Thomas Card. Lawrence, Dean of the College of Cardinals, in this morning’s “Pro Eligendo Pontifice” mass. Cardinal Lawrence, a close friend of the late Holy Father’s, spoke of doubt as an affirmation of faith, and the necessity of doubt in grave, historical matters like this Conclave. Cardinal Benítez’s unexpected presence certainly does add an element of doubt to the proceedings. Is he papabile material simply for arriving late? Will his presence at the Conclave help the Fourieran wing of the College of Cardinals against the Tedescans?

[READ MORE]

papas fritas @paptato
Guys I think I found the mystery cardinal’s twt

Vincent Benítez @frbenitez
Demos gracias a Dios por el regreso de nuestros compañeros exiliados a Bagdad, a tiempo para celebrar la Navidad 🙏🙌

Translated from Spanish: Let us give thanks to God for the safe return of our exiled comrades to Baghdad, in time to celebrate Christmas 🙏🙌

[PHOTO: Archbishop Benítez in a simple black cassock being presented with a baby in swaddling clothes by a woman whose face is obscured by a Mary-blue headscarf.]

papas fritas @paptato
WTF he’s too pure for this world we have to protect him

Vincent Benítez @frbenitez
Incluso las cosas más pequeñas son regalos de Dios 🤗

Translated from Spanish: Even the smallest things are gifts from God 🤗

[PHOTO: Slightly blurry photo of then-Father Benítez playing football with a pack of Congolese schoolchildren.]

Kit Bellifer @belliferouskit
CAN I GET AN AMEN #conclave2024 #VoteBenitez
[PHOTO: Screenshot of Tumblr user citruspuddle’s post calling for Cardinal Benítez to be the new pope.]

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
DIVAS SPOTTED #ConclaveWatch #Conclave2024
[PHOTOS: Screenshots of a helicopter news feed showing two red-robed cardinals—Lawrence and Benítez—having a close discussion in the Vatican gardens at night.]

🌽👎 @cornmazehater
what if we were at the papal conclave… walking together in the gardens… and we were both cardinals… 😳😳😳 #conclave2024

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
DIVAS SPOTTED #ConclaveWatch #Conclave2024
[PHOTOS: Screenshots of a helicopter news feed showing two red-robed cardinals—Lawrence and Benítez—having a close discussion in the Vatican gardens at night.]

life is beautiful @life-is-beautiful42
and they were conclavemates #conclave2024

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
DIVAS SPOTTED #ConclaveWatch #Conclave2024
[PHOTOS: Screenshots of a helicopter news feed showing two red-robed cardinals—Lawrence and Benítez—having a close discussion in the Vatican gardens at night.]

she conc on my clave till i @ghostymeat
@ClubConcrave Do u think these two were rawdogging it at the conclave today
[PHOTO: Screenshot of a tweet by user @TRLafferty, saying: 

BREAKING: CBS News says the 118 red-robed cardinals in the Sistine Chapel are “rawdogging” the papal conclave. 

What a time to be alive.

“One thing we know they’re not doing is checking Instagram because their devices have all been confiscated.”

“I believe the kids call it ‘rawdogging’.”]

#CrownPrincesDayOffTwo | Cardinals in Conclaves Making Friends

[VIDEO: Segment from the Group Chat portion of tonight’s episode of After Midnight with Taylor Tomlinson:

TAYLOR: The conclave to elect the next pope is officially underway in Rome, and despite all the secrecy and hush-hush surrounding the whole affair, there’s already footage on Twitter of a pair of Cardinals having a moonlit stroll in the Vatican gardens at night. 

Pull back to a wide shot showing a Twitter video of the helicopter news feed of Lawrence and Benítez.

TAYLOR: Wait, but that’s not all. Wait until you see what the Internet has already put as the soundtrack.

The video plays again, but this time with the sound on to reveal the saxophone solo from “Careless Whisper”. One of the panellists slumps on his panel, laughing. 

TAYLOR: What’s better than this? Just guys being dudes. Panelists, tell me: what are they really talking about?

The panellist in the middle, a short half-Asian girl with her hair tied up in a red ribbon, immediately slams the button. A bell rings. 

TAYLOR: Christianne.

CHRISTIANNE: Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?

Another bell rings a couple times to award her points. 

The question bell rings.

TAYLOR: Theo.

The young man who had been slumped over his podium straightens up brightly.

THEO: (mimicking one of the cardinals) Hey bro, I voted for you in the conclave today.

THEO: (turning to mimic the other one) No way, bro, I don’t wanna be top bro, you know?

THEO: (first cardinal) But that just makes me want you more! (a pause) I mean, in a God-honouring way, of course.

THEO: (second cardinal) Yes, of course, no homo. (crosses himself) 

The answer bell chimes several times, as Taylor wheezes out “in a God-honouring way” at her podium. 

The question bell rings.

TAYLOR: Ryan.

RYAN: …And here is where the late Pope Iggy keeps his pet turtles… 

Taylor bursts into laughter. The answer bell chimes several times.

TAYLOR: Wait, is that real? Does the Pope have pet turtles?

RYAN: No, I just made that up.

Taylor gives him a couple more points.

TAYLOR: Points for fooling me, wow. And Pope Iggy! (snorts) Sounds like the sort of nickname a youth pastor would use.

RYAN: (completely deadpan) Yes. He’s Iggy with the Jiggy C.

Theo is back to doubling over the podium, wiping his eyes.

CHRISTIANNE: Stop it, you’re gonna make my Catholic grandma turn in her grave! 

THEO: (turns to send her an incredulous look) Chris, I think your grandma could be powering a small city by now, what with you having a girlfriend and everything!

TAYLOR: Ryan is currently in the lead with 2,000 points! When we come back, we’re playing “Who’s Your Zaddy?” Stick around!]

After Midnight
268K subscribers

9,916 views   9 November 2024  #ImmortalsofLiuyingValleyNetflix #TaylorTomlinson

Taylor Tomlinson invites Theo Lea, Christianne Shieh, and Ryan Liu into the group chat! They talk about a raccoon recently arrested with a meth pipe, the Crown Prince of Japan going AWOL (again), the newest TikTok dance, and cardinals making friends at the Conclave. 

#AfterMidnight #TaylorTomlinson #Groupchat #ImmortalsofLiuyingValley #conclave #pope #lawenforcement #crownprincesdayoff #tiktok

———————————————

12 Comments

@anaalnathrakhs 4 hrs ago
This’ll do numbers on AO3
9 likes

⛛ 5 replies

@karaix3 3 hrs ago
Two bros, walking in a garden, 5 feet apart ’cause they’re celibate
20 likes

Live: Vatican chimney view as cardinals return for day two of voting

The Independent
1.03M subscribers

166,607 views   Started streaming 1 day ago 

The College of Cardinals of the Catholic Church have returned to the Sistine Chapel for up to four rounds of voting, having failed to elect a pope on the first ballot yesterday afternoon.

24/7 livestream of the Sistine Chapel roof and the chimney that will announce the results of Conclave to elect the next head of the Catholic Church. 

Black smoke indicates that no cardinal has received a 2/3rds majority vote to be pope; white smoke indicates that a new pope has been chosen.

———————————————

⛛ Top Chat

hellcatsandcars: bellini bellini bellini 🇮🇹🤌🇮🇹🤌🇮🇹🤌

sugarchimera: dear god pls let benitez win it would be so funny

J.Pip98: Adeyemi will win 🇳🇬

bluelivesmatter: 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️ to a black pope 😡

q su: @bluelivesmatter fuck you

proverbs34wife: praying for Cardinal Tedesco 🙏

Zacharias Smith: Why does the world care this much about electing an ordinary man when Christ Himself should be the only one we care about? 

ducksontrucks: @Zacharias Smith none of this is real 

acepocalypsee: @Zacharias Smith gurl what are YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament

starrynight: @Zacharias Smith begone protestant

buttermuncher • Follow
Piazza Barberini

[VIDEO: Front-facing video of Instagram user buttermuncher trying to get a shot of himself with the fountain in Piazza Barberini. There is a loud explosion offscreen to his right; he turns his head towards it and then rushes off, the feed shaky and jarring, until it is switched to the back-facing camera to reveal a huge plume of black smoke and the sound of sirens.]

Liked by birchbbier and others

buttermuncher Thank god I wasn’t too close to the fountain
5m  271 likes

——— View replies (182)

le-fils-de-lhomme holy shit! that’s terrifying! thank god you’re ok!
4m  56 likes

enderutgaming Was it a bomb?
2m  32 likes

——— View replies (65)

President-Elect Mike Holleran @MikeHolleran
My thoughts are with the people affected by the explosion in the Piazza Barberini. Let us keep them in our hearts today as we wait for happier announcements in Rome. May the memories of the dead be a blessing.

President Richards @POTUS
Tiny Mike Holleran will only offer nice words that mean nothing. We are a Christian nation and we will fight to protect what’s ours! #AmericaStrong

Steph @steph4356923
@POTUS ISIS has already claimed credit for the attack! They are planning to destroy the #Conclave this is an attack on the #Church #DeusVult
[VIDEO: Grainy CCTV footage of two masked men entering a church.]

AP Fact Check @APFactCheck
#FACTCHECK: No, ISIS has not claimed credit for the explosion in the Piazza Barberini this morning. The video being circulated is from the January Istanbul church shooting. At this moment we do not even know the cause of the explosion.

2nd day of papal conclave marked by explosion, no results

[VIDEO: Segment from the video discussing the day’s events in Rome:

NEWSCASTER: We’re back at the Vatican now, it is evening… and we see black smoke coming out once again from the Sistine Chapel chimney. Black smoke… which means no pope has been selected just yet. What do you make of it, Nat?

REPORTER: Thank you Lester. Yes, this is the third time we’re seeing black smoke… they do two ballots in the morning and two in the afternoon, so we’re now seeing the results of five rounds of voting. Five ballots, and still no answer. 

NEWSCASTER: Wasn’t there also an explosion there this morning?

REPORTER: Yes, around noon, in the Piazza Barberini. No fatalities, but several injuries. Italian police are still trying to ascertain the cause of the explosion. 

NEWSCASTER: And I suppose the cardinals in the conclave won’t know about this.

REPORTER: No, they are kept away from any news which might sway their judgement. In the weeks leading up to the conclave you could see them going around installing shutters on all the windows… soundproofing the floor… preserving this ancient tradition of secrecy even in face of all of our modern secret-detecting technology…

NEWSCASTER: What are the implications of this for those papal front-runners that have been discussed at length in the news since Pope Ignatius’ death? The odds were so high in Aldo Bellini’s favour; do you think that’s changed?

REPORTER: It does come as a bit of a surprise, doesn’t it? Ignatius was so well-loved and the minority opinion believed to truly be a minority, so in order for Bellini not to have triumphed by now suggests that the conclave has not yet come to a consensus. There must be something else at play in this election… someone else might be gaining on him, and maybe tomorrow we’ll see just who that person will be.]

NBC News
11.2M subscribers

29,319 views   9 November 2024  #vatican #conclave #pope

Black smoke from the chimney of the Sistine Chapel marks the end of a second day of voting in the 2024 papal conclave, while the city outside the Vatican was rocked by an explosion at the Piazza Barberini.

———————————————

43 Comments

@dragonaireabsolvare 2 hrs ago
Here’s how Bellini can still win--
45 likes

⛛ 2 replies

@bluelivesmatter 1 hr ago
The Holy Spirit moves with purpose! He must know Aldo Bellini is not fit to lead the Church! #DeusVult
6 likes

@eppietje 58 min ago
Betting markets in the UK already are putting Adeyemi as the frontrunner
55 likes

⛛ 10 replies

r/MarkMyWords • 1h ago
u/notevengrayson

MMW: Cardinal Joshua Adeyemi is going to be the first black pope

Look, 5 ballots in and Bellini still hasn’t won like everyone was expecting him to. That can only mean he doesn’t have the votes to be pope. Ladbrokes in the UK is already saying Adeyemi is the new favourite. Adeyemi is charismatic and anti-capitalist and would be the first black pope. They’re just trying to sell him to the liberals who don’t like his homophobia.

41 Points   9 Comments   Share 

poseidons-lovechild • 25m ago
Europeans still dominate the conclave voters. Don’t underestimate their ability to be racist as hell. 

4 points

notevengrayson OP • 22m ago
They all know if they take too long people are going to accuse the church of being fractured and it’ll raise the chances of a schism. If Bellini hasn’t already swept the vote then they must be trying to find someone more moderate. Adeyemi would fit regardless of his homophobia - which isn’t even a dealbreaker for some of his colleagues. 

7 points

leo_delaiglesia • 20m ago
I was so caught up in the excitement of the new mystery cardinal that I temporarily forgot the whole institution is a homophobia machine. The Catholic Church does not deserve a man like Cardinal Benitez.

-2 points

Chapter Text

VICINO News English  @VicinoEN
BREAKING: Shots fired at the Basilica di San Marco Evangelista al Campidoglio, Rome.

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
(BREAKING) An explosion just happened near St. Peter’s Square!
[VIDEO: A person holding a fake press pass is standing in St. Peter’s Square.

CORRESPONDENT: Hi everyone, I’m Mel, repping Pope Crave AT the Vatican. We’re on our third day of voting and the excitement is high in the air—

They are interrupted by an incredibly loud explosion to their right. Dust and debris fly everywhere. 

CORRESPONDENT: What the—

Video cuts off abruptly]

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
Our correspondent (@colorandxlight) is very shaken but otherwise unhurt! The explosion seems to have happened in the Piazza del Risorgimento so there’s a bit of a distance between them and the blast. Peep the broken windows though! Do the cardinals know what just happened?
[PHOTOS: A couple pictures of debris scattered around the square, as well as what appears to be broken windows in the side of the Sistine Chapel]

our lady of perpetual headaches @migraineegg
@ClubConcrave thank god they’re ok! praying that no one else is hurt 🙏

tumble dry on low heat @thatwashingmachine
@migraineegg BBC says there’s already 12 dead 😢😢

samreyna • Follow
Piazza del Risorgimento

[VIDEO: Sirens and helicopters. Shaky handheld shot of a pair of sheer curtains being pulled aside to reveal a shattered glass window. A person is faintly visible at the end of the square closest to the Sistine Chapel, wearing a dark vest.

The person shouts something that cannot be heard at this distance, lost in the surge of fleeing tourists.

The person holds up a blocky detonator-like device. The camera scrambles back from the window. There is another loud explosion.]

Liked by pohrebiste and others

samreyna worst vacation ever
2h  650 likes

——— View replies (283)

buttermuncher GURL SAME i’m already tired of this conclave just pick a new pope before we all die 💀
1h  80 likes/

ba-sil this on top of the church shooting in rome too?? god must not be happy with the cardinals rn
15m  29 likes

——— View replies (6)

heyitsgwen Hi! I’m a correspondent with CNN. Can we use this video in our coverage?
35m  4 likes

[VIDEO: The camera is zooming in on the Frauenkirche in Munich on the other side of a police cordon. A police negotiator is talking into a mobile phone at the base of the stairs. Other police officers are waiting with guns at the ready. The video is captioned: pov: your plans to climb the frauenkirche tower get cancelled bc someone took out a gun during mass]

Comments 163   Likes 472

spaghetthee 🍝 • CREATOR
imagine getting taken hostage during mass 💀💀💀 #1110 #munich #frauenkirche
1h  reply  ♥️24

jelloholic
is mass not already being taken hostage by the catholic church
1h  reply  ♥️35

spaghetthee 🍝 • CREATOR
catholicism: IT’S AN HOUR!
1h  reply  ♥️10

ahaseviiul 💟
😥
56m  reply  🤍30

reyerite
Hopefully everyone inside is okay! 😰
23m  reply  ♥️25

sitaarein
It’s insane that this isn’t even the ONLY shooting at a Catholic church today. There was one in Rome, too! Where do they think this is, America?
20m  reply  ♥️56

howisthepope

tfw you’re watching the news about the double bombing in Rome and then you hear an explosion 

———————————————

howisthepope

a bomb just went off at my local catholic university 

#howisthepope personal

56 dead, hundreds injured in four simultaneous terror attacks on Catholic institutions across Europe on third day of papal conclave

10 November, 2024

Beatrice Kingsley
BBC News

[PHOTO: Black smoke rises from behind the dome of the Sistine Chapel—but not from the Vatican chimney—after a double bombing incident in the Piazza del Risorgimento on the morning of 10 November, 2024.]

At least 56 people have died in attacks on Catholic institutions across three cities in Europe today, on the third day of the papal conclave to determine the successor of Pope Ignatius. 

According to the latest reports from security forces in Louvain, Munich, and Rome, two of the current death toll come from a bombing at the University of Louvain, four from a gun attack at the Frauenkirche in Munich, 12 from a gun attack at the church of San Marco Evangelista in Rome, and 38 from a double bombing at the Piazza del Risorgimento near the Vatican itself.

Eyewitnesses in the Piazza del Risorgimento said the first bomb came from a car parked in the plaza, followed by a man strapped with explosives who detonated himself after saying “Allahu Akbar,” Arabic for ‘God is the greatest’. Despite this, no group, Islamist or otherwise, have claimed credit for any of the attacks thus far.

Ricardo Visconti, Italian Minister of the Interior, said that security around the Vatican had been increased prior to the start of the conclave due to the possibility of it becoming one of “multiple coordinated target opportunities” for terrorist attacks against major Western institutions. 

“We had increased ground and air security for the duration of the conclave because of the serious and imminent threat of a terrorist attack,” he said. “It may be part of the reason why the bomber targeted the Piazza del Risorgimento. They could not get into St. Peter’s Square itself, so they chose an easier location to strike.”

Mr Visconti would not speak further on whether or not today’s attacks were tied to the explosion in the Piazza Barberini yesterday morning… [READ MORE]

Anonymous asked:
Are you alright?????

howisthepope
Yeah, I’m fine! There was a bomb at the library at the Catholic university in my town. 4 people have died and a lot of people are injured. It’s pretty bad but I’m fine personally

#anon #ask #howisthepope personal

President-Elect Mike Holleran @MikeHolleran
My heart goes out to the families of the bereaved in today’s attacks in Rome, Munich, and Louvain. Religion should be a source of joy, not suffering. May the memories of the dead be a blessing.

President Richards @POTUS
These FOUR nasty, violent terrorist attacks against the Catholic Church are the first shots across the bow by Islamic extremists! If this is to be war, then let the Church elect a general as their next Pope! I would gladly volunteer for the position! #AmericaStrong

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
(FACT CHECK) Recently-unemployed President Jeffrey Richards can’t become Pope because he’s not Catholic.

President Richards @POTUS
These FOUR nasty, violent terrorist attacks against the Catholic Church are the first shots across the bow by Islamic extremists! If this is to be war, then let the Church elect a general as their next Pope! I would gladly volunteer for the position! #AmericaStrong

🌽👎 @cornmazehater
did pope crave just fact check the president? iconic

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
(FACT CHECK) Recently-unemployed President Jeffrey Richards can’t become Pope because he’s not Catholic.

Vatican News @VaticanNews
All cardinal-electors are safe in the Casa Santa Marta following the devastating double bombing in the Piazza del Risorgimento, reports the Secretary of the College of Cardinals.

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
@VaticanNews How will this affect the conclave? The people want to know

papas fritas @paptato
@ClubConcrave They’re going to have to suspend it, right? I mean, it’s kinda hard to isolate yourself from something that happened right on your doorstep.

poperwatch @cloudsofsmoke
rocking back and forth with my head in my hands

[PHOTO: Screenshot of Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants, zoomed in on his chest with a pin reading “I really wish I weren’t living through a major historical event right now!”]

Leia is losing her mind @youngcreativenerdgoddess
g-d @ the cardinals

[PHOTO: Animated GIF of Judge Judy tapping impatiently at her wrist and then smacking the desk.]

anton si liek @liekantok
God is just as done with the black smoke as we are KSKSKSKS

loving girlfriend hours are 24/7 @javaberrychip1998
god, watching the girlies fight over who gets to be pope:

[PHOTO: Screenshot of Michael Jordan sitting in a chair with his hands up as if being interviewed, with the caption “…and I took that personally.”]

yipee brainworms! @fryingofthebrain
what if this was all part of tabasco’s plan? delay the proceedings and then scare everyone into voting for him?

[PHOTO: The Pepe Silvia conspiracy board, with Charlie Day looking unhinged in front of it.]

hazza @realpersonfacts
@fryingofthebrain do you smoke crack. is it crack you smoke

[PHOTO: A tinfoil hat in the shape of a baseball cap, labelled “you dropped this”.]

felicity @psychopomping
“cardinal tedesco did the conclave bombings” is truly an unhinged take. i’m never leaving this app

Prime Minister Collins @letitia_collins
It is utterly devastating to see such horrific attacks against Catholic institutions in Europe during this critical time. My thoughts, mirrored by many in the UK, are with the bereaved in Rome, Munich, and Louvain, and with the 1.4 billion Catholics who are still in mourning.

LIVE episode: The Universal Church Is Under Attack

[VIDEO: Segment from a livestream hosted by American Catholic podcaster Trevor Richardson Lafferty:

TREVOR: …That’s four attacks against our Holy Mother Church today. FOUR attacks, not to mention yesterday’s explosion in the Piazza Barberini that they’re not releasing any other details about. Isn’t it clear that the attack yesterday was a dress rehearsal for today and the Italian police is covering it up to try and cover up the crisis currently within the Church? 

I mean, the fact that this is happening during the conclave to select our next Holy Father is proof that our enemies know our weaknesses and are not scared to exploit them! If they had been able to attack the conclave directly they would have taken out practically all of the Church leadership, but even though they didn’t—thanks be to God for that—they still managed to expose the deadly weaknesses brought upon the Church by our late Holy Father. Now, I’m not saying that the late Holy Father—may his name be numbered among the high priests—should be blamed for this, but he did have an unfortunate habit of authoritarianism in trying to steer our Church away from its roots. Discard too much of your history and culture, and you discard what draws people into the Church. We are part of a long lineage of believers, and it’s not a sin to honor that!

I understand the late Holy Father had wanted to appear frugal and have a simple life, but by breaking with centuries-old doctrine and tradition, he has set our Ark of a Church afloat in the midst of the Flood and our new Noah has yet to show himself. It should not be taking this long to find our new Holy Father! The Holy Spirit should be the one guiding their hands, not whatever petty, bitter politics that have been brought in by the late Holy Father’s attempts at “reform” or “modernization”. 

Now we are caught with our pants down as the target of all of these attacks—these terrorist attacks, by radical Islamists who want to force the whole world to worship Muhammad instead of Jesus Christ! Anyone with their eyes wide open right now could see this as the start of a new holy war. Who would you want leading our Church now—the effeminate, liberal, doctrine-bending Cardinal Bellini, or someone stronger, more resolute, more willing to guide the Church through a war? 

I urge the Conclave to come to a decision as swiftly as the Apostolic Constitution will allow, so that there is no room for questioning the legitimacy of our new Holy Father, and I will be standing back and standing by for the forthcoming crusade! Deus Vult!]

The God-Cast with TR Lafferty
5.36K subscribers

45,215 views   Started streaming 2 hours ago  #catholicism #traditionalcatholicism #christianity 

Trevor Richardson Lafferty discusses the 11/10 attacks on the Church and what this could mean for the 2024 Conclave. 

#jesuschrist #pope #conclave

———————————————

⛛ Top Chat

khaosandkatastrophe: and if the next pope tells you to stop creaming at the prospect of killing brown ppl and learn to love thy neighbor instead what will u do

couchfucker3000: @khaosandkatastrophe Loving thy neighbor isn’t the same as unchecked migration from shithole countries

khaosandkatastrophe: @couchfucker3000 loving thy neighbor isn’t mass deportation without due process either tho

couchfucker3000: @khaosandkatastrophe Ordo amoris says we love ourselves and our family and country first. This is basic Catholic doctrine. Maybe if you actually watch TR Lafferty episodes instead of coming on here to troll you’d know that

georgemariokart: @couchfucker3000 that’s not how ordo amoris should be applied you dork ass loser

theredhoodedsoldier: tr lafferty being islamophobic? must be a day ending in y

hms--erebus: Didn’t this guy convert like just 2 years ago?

bluelivesmatter: The Catholic Church should be at war against the terrorists who seek to do us harm! Starting with the cowards and traitors within the Church who have succumbed to the temptation of relativism - putting other faiths and ‘acceptance’ above doctrine and morality! Liberalism is the reason why Rome, cradle of our Holy Mother Church, now bears the mosques and minarets of Muhammad! How long will men of God cower before the terrorists whilst the blood of innocents pour through the Piazza del Risorgimento - through the basilica of San Marco - through all the churches and schools that have been attacked today? How long are we going to close our eyes in “tolerance” while they slaughter us in THEIR countries?

lordlexion: @bluelivesmatter maybe go read some matthew 12:33-37 and touch some fucking grass

lucius-purple-shampoo: @bluelivesmatter I have lost family members to religious extremism and I can tell you right now that no god is worth throwing your life away for. You’re not going to feel god’s presence when you walk down a street lined with rubble and the bodies of children. And if you do, that’s not the holy spirit. That’s hatred.

bluelivesmatter: @lucius-purple-shampoo Your family members are burning in hell for following a false prophet. Martyrs of the true Lord Jesus will have life eternal in paradise. We are not the same.

lucius-purple-shampoo: @bluelivesmatter x to doubt but okay. Have the day you deserve.

proverbs34wife: Joel 3:14-15: Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! for the day of Jehovah is near in the valley of decision. The sun and the moon are darkened, and the stars withdraw their shining. May the Holy Spirit guide the Cardinals to the right decision!

[VIDEO: Recording of a helicopter news feed showing a mass of white-red-white: the College of Cardinals, marching in a phalanx towards the Sistine Chapel, arm-in-arm.]

Comments 236   Likes 568

✝️ spamtonsjc ✝️ • CREATOR
Ephesians 6:10-12: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. ✝️✝️🙏🛐🕊️ #christianstrong #catholicism #1110 #conclave
1h  reply  ♥️1k

dragonaireabsolvaire
Shivers down my spine!
20m  reply  ♥️459

greygulfh
so does that mean they’ve decided on a pope
45m  reply  ♥️163

perpetualstateofcrying
idk but i will be Seated for the smoke cam
33m  reply  ♥️158

walkingaimfully
brb going to rome
20m  reply  🤍10

sincerelyus 🤗
The divas are on a mission!
43m  reply  🤍84

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
(BREAKING) HABEMUS MFIN PAPAM!

[PHOTO: Live Smoke Reaction meme, but this time with white smoke and the caption “HOLY SMOKE WE GOT A POPE.”]

Chapter Text

grotesque-werewolf

[PHOTO: Screenshot of Misha Collins as Castiel saying “I love you”, followed by Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester dressed as a cardinal, saying “Habemus Papam.”]

White smoke has emerged from the Vatican chimney, indicating a new pope

#conclave 2024 #pope innocent xiv #destiel meme

———————————————

conkin-my-claves

[PHOTO: Meme of a seagull throwing its head back before yelling “HABEMUS PAPAM.”]

#conclave 2024 #pope #catholicism

———————————————

hauntedpdfs

me, parked and ready and hoping our princess wins

[PHOTO: Screenshot of a woman from the Sims checking the Vatican smoke cam on her computer, with the caption “Not now sweaty mommy’s habemus papam.”]

#conclave 2024 #and by our princess i mean benitez ofc

———————————————

davonati

HOLY SHIT IT’S HIM!!!

OUR PRINCESS WON!!!

#conclave 2024 #pope innocent xiv

——————————————— 

Anonymous asked:
how is the pope: elected

howisthepope
I can’t believe it! They picked Tumblr’s pick for pope!

Long live Pope Innocent XIV, Vicar of Christ, Bishop of Tumblr!

#anon #ask #pope #pope innocent xiv #info

samreyna • Follow
St. Peter’s Square

[VIDEO: Shot of a packed St. Peter’s Square. The video zooms in on a nearby screen that shows the central loggia of St. Peter’s Basilica, where Cardinal Gianmarco Santini, Protodeacon of the Catholic Church, is making an announcement:

SANTINI: Annuntio vobis gaudium magnum… 

The crowd cheers. Someone hollers “VIVA PAPA!”

SANTINI: Habemus Papam.

The crowd goes wild. 

SANTINI: Eminentissimum ac Reverendissimum Dominum… Dominum Vincentius… 

The crowd gasps, leans in with bated breath. 

SANTINI: Sanctae Romanae Ecclesiae Cardinalem Benítez… 

The crowd goes even wilder than before. The cameraperson gasps, “Oh my god it’s him.”

SANTINI: Qui sibi nomen imposuit Innocentius Decimum Quartum.

The cameraperson pulls back to a shot of the people next to them. “Oh my god! It’s the Mexican Archbishop of Kabul! We have a Mexican Pope!”]

Liked by phichit_chu and others

samreyna maybe getting bombed was worth us getting a mexican pope 🥲
5m  34 likes

buttermuncher Big day for Mexico for sure
5m  10 likes

——— View replies (31)

walkingaimfully ¡VIVA PAPA! 🇲🇽 🎉
2m  26 likes

———————————————

akamitrani • Follow
Fiumicino Airport

[VIDEO: A baggage claim carousel at Rome’s Fiumicino Airport. A handsome man who looks like he’s in his late 50s with medium-length jet-black hair, brown skin, and a plain black cassock is walking past the carousel with no bags at all.]

Liked by bibliayaoi and others

akamitrani do u think he’s here for the conclave
3d

divisreina GIRL THAT’S THE FUCKIN POPE YOU RAN INTO THE POPE AT THE AIRPORT
8m  120 likes

akamitrani • Author
@divisreina DSKDSKDKFKF THE POPE ASKED ME HOW TO GET OUT OF THE AIRPORT DFFJGJGJG
8m  543 likes 

akamitrani • Author
@divisreina UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS ALL I’M GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE SHDJDJSKFK WHAT THE FUCK
8m  426 likes 

nota1eks
@akamitrani You’re gonna be winning 2 truths and a lie for the rest of your life!
7m  281 likes 

——— View 84 more replies

thewined4rksea I WAS ON THAT FLIGHT WITH HIM DUDE WAS RAWDOGGING IT WITH JUST HIS ROSARY HOLY SHIT
3m  2.5k likes

nota1eks
@thewined4rksea bro you can’t just say that and NOT give deets
3m  1.3k likes 

——— View 540 more replies

Maria Fernandez Alvarez @MFA
Felicidades al Papa Inocencio XIV, anteriormente Cardenal Vicent Benítez de Veracruz! Es el orgullo de nuestra nación y esperamos con ansias trabajar con usted hacia una mayor paz y prosperidad. Dios lo bendiga!

Translated from Spanish: Congratulations to Pope Innocent XIV, formerly Cardinal Vincent Benítez from Veracruz! You are the pride of our nation and we look forward to working with you towards greater peace and prosperity. May God bless you!

President Richards @POTUS
Glad to hear of the election of Cardinal Vincent Benitez as Pope Innocent XIV. I look forward to meeting with him. It will be a great honor!

President-Elect Mike Holleran @MikeHolleran
Rafael and I were so excited to hear about the election of Pope Innocent XIV, our first Pope from the Americas. Innocent XIV’s work with poor and exploited women in Mexico and the Congo speaks for itself. The Catholic Church is in loving hands. 

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd
No… I shan’t say… 😒 🧱

President Richards @POTUS
Glad to hear of the election of Cardinal Vincent Benitez as Pope Innocent XIV. I look forward to meeting with him. It will be a great honor!

Pope Innocent XIV makes first address from Vatican balcony | VICINO News

[VIDEO: Pope Innocent XIV, arrayed in a simple white cassock, steps out onto the balcony and waves at the crowd. It is startling—and the commentators are quick to mention it—just how young he looks. Glossy dark hair beneath the white zucchetto, smooth brown skin and sharp cheekbones, a smile of pure warmth… for a moment the crowd is stunned, and then they burst out into even wilder cheers…]

VICINO News EN
586K subscribers

49,262 views   10 November 2024  #conclave #vicinonews #pope

The new Pope is Vincent Benítez - the first Pope from Mexico, from the Americas, and from the developing world - and will take the name Pope Innocent XIV. 

Benítez, 67, was elected after three days and several major terrorist attacks against Catholic institutions in Europe, most notably the double bombing earlier this morning in the neighbouring Piazza del Risorgimento. He delivered his first speech to cheering crowds from the Vatican balcony. 

———————————————

⛛ Top Chat

andonika: HABEMUS PAPAM ILLECEBROSUM

POCKETDILFS: EL PAPA ES MEXICANO ARRIBA MÉXICO 🗣️🗣️ ORGULLO VERACRUZANO 🗣️🗣️

conclover i would personally take the innocence right out of- *gunshots*

sugarchimera: god is real

mollyodonnell: This is a DISASTER for the Church! We can’t have a Pope so attractive that it drives us to lustful thoughts!!!

inkypines: @mollyodonnell Are you having lustful thoughts about the Pope

J.Pip98: Sad Adeyemi didn’t win but cheering for Benitez as well!

arosyhaze: lapsed catholic here. pope innocent xiv is making me proud of the church in a way i can’t explain. i’m so glad they picked him. he’s going to be a great pope.

saggis23: The Holy Spirit has spoken! ¡Viva Papa Inocencio XIV!

VATICAN NEWS

POPE // CONCLAVE

Pope Innocent XIV: “My dear brothers and sisters, I welcome you.”

Pope Innocent XIV greets the city of Rome and the world with these words at his first appearance as the Successor of Peter from the Central Loggia of St. Peter’s Basilica: 

My dear brothers and sisters, I welcome you. 

On this day, the day before the feast of St. Martin and the start of winter, the Holy Spirit has, through the hands and hearts of my brother Cardinals, caused this cup to pass to me. O Father, take this cup from me, I thought, as I heard my name called out again and again during the final vote. Yet not my will but Yours be done. 

The Holy Spirit has deemed me fit to bear the Keys of St. Peter—to lead a larger flock than those who await me back in Kabul. I told my Diocese that I would return to them. I hope they understand how things have changed.

Tomorrow is the start of winter, and what a winter it is already becoming. The snow that has come to Rome is grey and burnt; the white smoke that came before me is tinted grey with the memories of the fallen. For all of us standing here today, we are gathered in a mixture of both jubilation and grieving. Let us take a moment of silence for the souls of the fallen.

[silence]

Today on the eve of winter is also the Memorial of Pope St. Leo the Great, who established the titles and powers of the Bishop of Rome and head of the Church. When Rome sat on the edge of ruin, it was Pope Leo who went out to Atilla the Hun and disarmed him with words alone. Through their conversation—and the creation of a mutual understanding—not a single drop of blood was shed, and Rome was spared. 

It is through conversation, not bloodshed, that we will begin to sow the seeds of peace. Pope Leo also spoke of loving one’s neighbor in the broadest possible sense. Both our foes and our allies are made by the same Maker: we breathe the same, we bleed the same, we sleep and wake under the same stars. We are all beloved by the same God, made in His image—and we do Him honor by loving all of His creation, even when they are also our enemies. The olive of peace is grafted from many roots and watered with tears, but when it grows, it grows all the more beautifully in its diversity. 

Our dearly beloved Pope Ignatius was also one who believed in the diversity of the Church, who strove to open her doors to all who wished to enter. To see the hope still gathered here, even on the edge of great sadness… I know he would be proud to see all of you today. 

[In Spanish]

La iglesia no es sólo la suma de sus tradiciones, de poder y prestigio, de la riqueza y gloria—no. La Iglesia también son todos ustedes. La Iglesia es lo que haremos de ahora en adelante.

The Church is not just the sum of its traditions, of power and prestige, of riches and glory—no. The Church is also all of you. The Church is what we do next. 

[Returning to Italian]

So let us gather together, as the Universal Church—a Church of open doors and open hearts—and pray for Our Father to bless us all, and for Our Lady to protect us.

Our Father…

Hail Mary… 

[Urbi et Orbi blessing]

r/Fauxmoi • 25m ago
u/reading-a-cadenza

Cardinal Vincent Benítez elected to succeed Pope Ignatius as head of the Catholic Church. Congrats to our first Mexican Pope!

[VIDEO: The CNN recording of the Habemus Papam announcement, followed by the new Pope Innocent XIV coming out to make his Urbi et Orbi address.]

1.5K Points   203 Comments   Share 

lostsoulsgalore • 20m ago
I know we’re all thinking it…

oh no he’s hot

586 points

paptato • 15m ago
Who’s going to confession this week? ✋

879 points

yourlocalnerdychristian • 12m ago
✋

385 points

youngcreativenerdgoddess • 7m ago
✋

I’m not even Catholic and I still feel the need to confess

202 points

12 more replies

durzarya • 6m ago
The fact that he’s actually set up shelters for homeless girls and hospitals for survivors of sexual assault just makes him even hotter

228 points

scorpo-w • 5m ago
Where was he when the other priests were molesting kids though

10 points

durzarya • 3m ago
Taking care of girls that had been raped in the Congo, you dipshit. He can’t exactly be in more than one place at the same time.

193 points

spamtonsjc • 2m ago
If he were able to do that then we might as well just make him a saint right now

156 points

walkingaimfully • 6m ago
This is John Paul II all over again except worse bc JPII was a cute grandpa by the time he became Pope and Innocent XIV’s cheekbones look like they could cut glass

210 points

frogguchi • 6m ago
I saw people on TikTok already making fancams for him. Catholicism is so back

132 points

evergardenwall • 5m ago
What is a fancam if not an animated prayer card anyway

234 points

lordlexion • 4m ago
What do you mean we’re all thinking it? I’m not thinking it?

58 points

ive-been-mistreated • 2m ago
Lying is a sin, brother

97 points

ebbehmoth • 20m ago
His Italian is… a bit shaky, to be honest. I don’t think he’s very familiar with the language. I guess one of the Italian cardinals translated his remarks for him and he just read it?

246 points

draig-felyn • 15m ago
You try giving a speech in a language you don’t speak and see how it feels

195 points

ebbethmoth • 12m ago
Dude I think it’s great that he tried to give the speech in Italian at all. Wonder why he made that little switch in the middle to Spanish, though

100 points

sitaarain • 10m ago
Something tells me he ACTUALLY didn’t expect to be pope.

26 points

artocelot • 8m ago
No shit, he straight up admitted that in his speech!

24 points

JuneWater • 6m ago
Anyone who enters a conclave as a Pope exits it a cardinal. No one in their right mind would want the job!

13 points

2 more replies

notevengrayson • 12m ago
Incredibly ballsy of him to make a speech that basically amounts to “I didn’t want to be here, I showed up as a surprise and now I don’t even get to go back to my diocese, but if you’re gonna keep me here I’m gonna make it everyone’s problem.” Nothing but respect for my Pope

105 points

digital-psycho • 6m ago
How was he ‘mak[ing] it everyone’s problem’? 

45 points

notevengrayson • 4m ago
Oh come on. There was a double bombing right outside the Vatican today and three other anti-Catholic terrorist attacks at almost the same time, and instead of calling for a crusade Innocent shows up on the balcony without the papal mozzetta—a thing that Pope Ignatius also did, by the way—and tells people that they have to love their enemies? If Iggy was trying to fumigate a hornet’s nest, Innocent has just taken a bat to it. As is his right.

268 points

grimeshound • 3m ago
God I bet the Tedescan wing of the College of Cardinals is straight-up coping and seething rn. You love to see it

17 points

notevengrayson • 2m ago
Should’ve thought about it more carefully before they voted to make this man Supreme Dictator of All Catholics but alas, once you’ve stuck that ballot into the urn you’re expected to carry the resulting papacy to term… 

2 points

Holy Smokeshow! | R******* Continues To Question 2024 Election Results

[VIDEO: Excerpt from the opening monologue of the November 10th, 2024 episode of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert:

Welcome, everyone, in here, out there, all over the world… to The Late Show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. 

The Vatican chimney has spoken… and we’ve got white smoke. 

(Shot of the Vatican smoke cam with white smoke pouring out of it.)

Of course, that chimney wasn’t the only thing smoking in Rome this morning. At approximately 11:20 AM God Time today, a double bombing occurred in the Piazza del Risorgimento right outside of Vatican City, steps away from the Sistine Chapel where the papal conclave was meeting for their third day of voting.

(Hushed dismay. News footage of the bombing aftermath.)

At the same time, a gunman opened fire during Mass at the San Marco Evangelista church in Rome…

(News footage of a police cordon in front of the Basilica of San Marco Evangelista)

Followed by another Mass shooting at the Frauenkirche in Munich, Germany, and another bomb at the University of Louvain in Belgium.

(More news footage of the standoff at the Frauenkirche and the smouldering wreck of the university library.)

This is, of course, a terrible tragedy, and our hearts here at the Late Show go out to everyone who has been affected by these acts of senseless violence. If you’re looking for some way to help the victims of these attacks, you can go to colbertlateshow.com/november10. That’s colbertlateshow.com/november10.

(Pauses, wipes at his eyes.)

Utterly devastating. But of course, not even the cardinals sequestered away in their conclave can ignore a bomb when it’s dropped right next door… which is how we ended up with this stirring footage of them walking from the Casa Santa Marta to the Sistine Chapel to vote, arm-in-arm, singing… 

(News footage of the marching cardinals, singing the Veni Creator hymn.)

I hear their first album, Songs to Conclave To, will be coming out this year just in time for Christmas. 

Anyway, the cardinals locked themselves back into the Sistine Chapel, and then by 5PM God Time we finally got ourselves a ha—

(The news footage shifts to the balcony shot of Pope Innocent XIV waving to the crowd. Colbert’s jaw goes comically slack; he takes off his glasses, wipes them, puts them back on, and then stares even harder.)

Homina homina homina!

(Colbert blinks, as if hit with a sudden burst of Catholic Guilt™, and crosses himself.)

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

(Folds his hands together as if in prayer, before breaking again and grinning at the crowd.)

Now, the winner of the Vatican’s Next Top Pontiff is former Cardinal Vincent Benítez from Veracruz, Mexico. (Cheers; someone yells ¡VIVA EL PAPA MEXICANO!) Yes, four years after a Mexican First Gentleman (Picture of Senator Oscar Díaz with former President Ellen Claremont) we’ve now got a Mexican Pope. They really are coming for all our jobs!

(Groans among the laughs)

As they should. I mean, if you take a look at our new Holy Father’s résumé, it’s nothing to sneeze at. 

(Pictures taken off of Twitter account @frbenitez of Vincent Benítez with his parishioners) 

In Mexico, he stood up to drug cartels and traffickers and built shelters for homeless girls… in the Congo he built a hospital for victims of genocidal sexual violence in the First and Second Congo Wars… and in Iraq he helped countless Iraqi Christian families return to their homes. 

(Cheers from the audience)

That’s right. Nothing but respect for MY new Holy Father. 

(A picture from @frbenitez of Vincent Benítez with his forearms bare.)

That’ll be on a prayer card very soon. (Waves it away, crosses himself again.)

Now, Stephen, you might be asking, how did such a fine specimen of humanity end up in the God Seat when he wasn’t on any previously-released lists of cardinals? Well, first off, you don’t actually need to be a cardinal to be elected pope; we’ve had six of those. But also, like I said, Cardinal Benítez was a cardinal… just a secret one. It’s part of a process we Catholics call an in pectore appointment, where the Pope secretly promotes you but doesn’t tell anyone about it. Just keeps it right here, in his heart. (taps his chest) Just like how I’ve already eaten two cheeseburgers in pectore since the start of this monologue.

(Mimes eating a burger.)

Yeah, they’re right here. Went right to my heart.

So, yes, the man formerly known as Cardinal Benítez had been appointed in secret, which is understandable, considering how, prior to his promotion, he was the Archbishop of Kabul. 

(Gasps)

Not a diocese for the faint-hearted! But I’m sure that after dealing with the Taliban, the Vatican’s own intransigent religious fanatics will be a walk in the park.

(Shot of Cardinal Tedesco.)

And now, Cardinal Benítez has taken on the name Pope Innocent XIV—named, of course, after St. Britney of Spears’ holy words:

(Clip of Britney Spears’ “Oops!… I Did It Again”, where she sings “I’m not that innocent.”)]

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
9.89M subscribers

2,444,004 views  10 November 2024  #Conclave #Vatican #Election2024

In the wake of the November 10th bombings across Europe, the Vatican announces the election of the first Mexican Pope. Also, the soon-to-be-former President continues to question the results of the 2024 election.

#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue #Conclave #MexiPope #PopeInnocentXIV #Vatican #1011Bombings #ElectionDenial #StephenColbert #TheLateShow

———————————————

3,840 Comments

@karaix3 1hr ago
The cardinals understood the assignment! 🫡
89 likes

@the-old-man-has-the-phone-box 34 min ago
He looks so humble and kind. You just can’t help but love him! Habemus papam!
21 likes

⛛ 3 replies

Chapter Text

Celebraciones en todo México por la elección del primer Papa mexicano

MILENIO
7.84M subscribers

5,240 views  11 November 2024  #NoticiasMilenio #iglesiacatolica #nuevopapa

La elección de Vicente Benítez, Arzobispo de Kabul nacido en Veracruz, como nuevo Papa es recibido con celebraciones y orgullo nacional en todo México. Sin embargo para los amigos, miembros de familia, y compañeros del Cardenal Benítez, esto es más un momento agridulce. Sígannos para conocer su reacción hacia la noticia.

#NoticiasMilenio #iglesiacatolica #nuevopapa #papainocencioxiv

———————————————

325 Comments

@cryptidko 1hr ago
como un comentador de fútbol: GOOOOOOOOOOL
78 likes

@bibliayaoi 12 min ago
Si es fan de los tiburones de Veracruz entonces es un verdadero símbolo de un santo; sólo conocen el sufrimiento
70 likes

⛛ 12 replies

@hyukxjae 1hr ago
TENEMOS PAPASOTE
56 likes

@suzydelmar 50 min ago
Yo bien preparado para regresar a misa este domingo después de 20 años
22 likes

⛛ 2 replies

@ralkm 12 min ago
Todos los mexicanos en el cielo después de ir a misa sin falta jajajaja
45 likes

HABEMUS HOTTIE @cabinwolf
good morning on day 1 of our new hot pope

[PHOTO: Animated GIF of Vincent Benítez as a cardinal in choir dress surrounded candles, lilies, and the words ‘Buenos Dias’.]

🥔🦄 @potatounicoorn
jude law whomst i only know papa inocencio

pope airport buddy!!! @akamitrani
oomfs how does it feel to be 1 degree away from the pope
[PHOTO: Screenshot of Instagram user @akamitrani’s post about spotting Vincent Benítez at Fiumicino Airport on the eve of the conclave]

swissmissive & briedable @cheesewhimsy
The new body of Christ:

[PHOTO: Brightly-coloured thin mini-wafers]

one (uno) dipshit @cryptidko
Danos hoy nuestro pan de cada día

[PHOTO: Mini milk candy wafers]

Translated from Spanish: Give this day our daily bread

TENEMOS PAPASOTE @saggis23
Le salió el niño Jesús en la rosca y marcó su destino como nuestro nuevo Papa 

Translated from Spanish: He found the baby Jesus in the Three Kings Cake, which marked his destiny to become our new Pope

burn cea @burnsea
mexican yung bagong pope so filipino rin yan sha... tito enteng na tawag natin sa kanya ah

[PHOTO: A tarpaulin design with a picture of Vincent Benítez in front of the other cardinals, saying “Congratulations! Vincent Benitez for becoming The Pope! Philippines is proud of uuuu”]

Translated from Filipino: the pope is mexican which means he’s also an honorary filipino… petition to call him tito enteng hehe

aly | cardi 3 fanclub president @engxelysian
@burnsea sabi ni lord wag daw gawing filipino yung pope kc dadaldal lng sya

Translated from Filipino: @burnsea god knew he couldn’t make the pope filipino bc we would never shut up about it lol

Chito & Ambo & Renzo, Oh My! @dandy_lions
@burnsea Friends na sila ng Cardi 3 baka isa sa kanila ma-promote 👀

Translated from Filipino: @burnsea He’s already friends with the Cardi 3 so maybe that means one of them will be promoted?? 👀

la bruja del bosque @ezra-767
No es el Papa es nuestro PAPI 🫦🫦 

Translated from Spanish: He’s not the Pope he’s our PAPI 🫦🫦 

Ari | popewatching @b00kingIT
would i be excommunicated if i said would

[PHOTO: Photo of Vincent Benítez in his priest collar]

dani 🍉 | conclavin’ @frogguchi
it’s unreal how beautiful our new papi is?? did god upend a whole bottle of hot sauce into the bowl when he made him or???

🌷tulips in a cup🌷@blackkewpie
Chat is it normal to get gender envy from the pope

HOT POPE brainworms! @fryingofthebrain
Guys our new Pope is so pretty that the tradcaths are already transvestigating him

C. Vaisey @iceicevaisey
Pope Innocent XIV, first Mexican Pope:

-Female bone structure
-Female height
-Feminine voice 

🌸Evan🌸@sincerelyus
@fryingofthebrain “female height” this is so unserious. sorry our new pope is a short king

midichlorian jesus @herehaveafandom
@fryingofthebrain I for one welcome our first omega pope

HOT POPE brainworms! @fryingofthebrain
@herehaveafandom None of these words are in the Bible

midichlorian jesus @herehaveafandom
@fryingofthebrain Revelation 22:13

Matt the Radar Technician @reeserecas
SKLDGKDSFJDFKJFKFKJ
[PHOTO: Screenshot of an online Bible verse: “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”]

midichlorian jesus @herehaveafandom
@fryingofthebrain Revelation 22:13

Anonymous asked:
Can the Pope fuck? Asking for a friend

howisthepope
Catholic clergy have to take a vow of celibacy before they are ordained, but that hasn’t stopped some of them. There’s a whole Wikipedia page of sexually active popes.

#anon #ask #pope #info

———————————————

mybrainwontcooperate

So who’s gonna take one for the team and get Papi Inocencio onto the list of sexually active popes

———————————————

eggybaconeggyt

[PHOTO: Animated GIF of Katniss Everdeen shouting “I volunteer!”]

#papi inocencio #holy daddy i’ve been naughty #i’m so going to hell for this

[PHOTO: Pope Innocent XIV greeting the crowd from the balcony at St. Peter’s Basilica at the Vatican on Sunday.]

How Vincent Benítez Became the Next Pope
In the midst of a Vatican war of succession, a man of peace came and proved himself worthy of the Throne of St. Peter.

By ADAYIT MARCUS, LUIGI VITARELLI, and MARISOL LUNA
Reporting from Vatican City

Published November 11, 2024

The moment the doors to the Sistine Chapel closed, the conclave convened to elect the successor of Pope Ignatius immediately fractured.

To seasoned Vatican-watchers familiar with the power plays of the Curia, this comes as no surprise. Throughout Ignatius’ pontificate, he had no shortage of critics and enemies. Most prominent of them were the Tedescans: a loose coalition of traditionalists surrounding the popular—and populist—Patriarch of Venice, Cardinal Goffredo Tedesco. Cardinal Tedesco made no secret of his disapproval of Ignatius’ many attempts to reform the Vatican leadership, to simplify the pomp and protocols surrounding the pontiff, and to improve the Church’s teachings on various social issues. When Pope Ignatius approved the Fiducia supplicans pastoral blessing for same-sex couples back in 2023, the letter of protest that Cardinal Tedesco wrote in response almost tipped him over the line into schism.

It is no wonder, then, that the passing of Pope Ignatius would open up the question of What next? Where does the Church go from here? A retreat back to the safety and stability of tradition, or a fearful foray onwards, continuing Ignatius’ reforms and progressive vision for the future? 

Four candidates were put forth as answers to these questions. The Fourierans, the wing most aligned with Ignatius’ vision, threw their support behind Cardinal Aldo Bellini of Italy, the Vatican’s Secretary of State. The North Americans—with the exception of one—rallied around Cardinal Joseph Tremblay of Canada, the Vatican’s top missionary. The Africans and Asians, eager for the world’s first Third World Pope, championed Cardinal Joshua Adeyemi of Nigeria, the Vatican’s confessor-in-chief. And finally, the Tedescans and their long-chosen candidate showed up to the conclave with one goal in mind: to rein in what they viewed to be a wayward Church. 

“You could feel the tension brewing in the general congregations prior to the conclave,” lamented Cardinal Giulio Sabbadin of Italy. “There were so many differences to work out. We all want to work towards the same thing, but we kept on disagreeing on how to get there.” 

The cardinals, it seemed, were searching for a miracle. And luckily for them, the late Pope provided one: during the slew of cardinal appointments he’d made in his final months in order to give his vision of the Church a fighting chance in the next conclave, he had also made Vincent Benítez—a Mexican-born missionary turned Archbishop who had once stood up to human trafficking gangs, founded shelters for homeless girls, and established a hospital for the survivors of war rape in the Democratic Republic of the Congo—a secret cardinal.

The Missionary-Priest

“I knew Cardinal Benítez before—how could I forget, after all the good he’s done for the girls in Bukavu?” said Cardinal Beaufret Muamba of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. “He was welcome at my table, of course, but it was still such a surprise. Such a lovely surprise to see him again!”

Cardinal Muamba, who worked with then-Father Benítez in the Congo from 1996 to 2017, was not the only one with a glowing opinion of the soft-spoken missionary priest from Veracruz. To the younger cardinals, Father Benítez was somewhat of a celebrity; to the older ones he was a dear friend. From all across Latin America, Africa, and the Eastern Rite Churches, cardinals who had only ever heard of Father Benítez’s work came to greet him, to fold him into their communities. 

“It was like he was already an old friend of mine, even though this was the first time we’d ever met,” said Cardinal Benedito Manuel Reis Sá of Brazil. “I felt like he understood me and my concerns in ways that, say, a career bureaucrat or someone who’s been cloistered in the Curia for decades might not.”

Indeed, Cardinal Benítez’s quiet nature kept him under the radar of the power-players of the Curia—the four leading papabili, and all the attending tensions between them. While he slowly made friends and built up his support base among the cardinals from the rest of the world, the Europeans and North Americans continued to meet in hushed whispers about withdrawn reports and tactical voting. The precipitating event came with the downfall of Cardinal Adeyemi, after a nun dropping a tray in his presence inadvertently exposed their past together. That same evening, withdrawn reports accusing Cardinal Tremblay of simony were retrieved from the late Pope’s quarters, copied, and distributed amongst all the cardinals at breakfast the next morning. 

“It was a lamentable sight to see two men of God brought so low,” said a source close to the Vatican. “But the Holy Spirit had seen fit to shed light on those actions, and the conclave follows the directions of the Holy Spirit.”

Game of Popes

With Cardinals Adeyemi and Tremblay out of the running, the field thus narrowed down to two—but the hope of the Fournierans had shifted away from Cardinal Bellini, who reportedly struggled to gain votes outside his progressive base, towards Cardinal Thomas Lawrence of England, Dean of the College of Cardinals and in charge of the conclave itself. Other sources close to the Vatican claim that at the time of the double bombing in the Piazza del Risorgimento, Cardinal Lawrence had actually been in the lead. Cardinal Benítez, then in third place, was reported to have urged his supporters to help elect Cardinal Lawrence during the next vote.

“He had been a supporter of Cardinal Lawrence from the start, because Cardinal Lawrence had been the one to welcome him into the conclave,” said Cardinal Luis Antonio Mendoza of the Philippines. “But the double bombing—those terrible terrorist attacks—further underlined for us clergy in the global south that we don’t want a Pope long entangled in the Vatican bureaucracy, separate from the people. We don’t want a manager; we want a shepherd. And the one most like a shepherd, who has devoted almost all of his life to the finding and tending of wayward lambs, was Cardinal Benítez.”

And as news screens around the world filled with the now-iconic image of the College of Cardinals marching arm-in-arm to the Sistine Chapel for the final vote, the cardinals themselves approached the last, fateful afternoon with a sense of renewed purpose. Within the span of two days, the strength of Cardinal Benítez’s missionary work and his steady ability to make friends out of complete strangers had earned him the support of cardinals across three continents. His humility and willingness to relinquish his chance at the Keys of St. Peter won him the support of the Fournierans as well. The votes came in like a torrent, well past the two-thirds majority.

“We knew it was going to be him long before the end,” said Cardinal Saverio Xalxo of India. “We were pounding the tables until the last ballot had been pierced, and then we all leapt to our feet. Dean Lawrence was down on his knees like he’d just seen the Holy Spirit. And [Cardinal Benítez] was just sitting there, looking utterly overcome.”

Peace and Reconciliation

In his first act as Pope Innocent XIV, shortly before stepping out onto the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica to greet the adoring public, the now-former Cardinal Benítez chose to stand beside the altar instead of sitting in the papal throne, greeting the cardinal-electors one by one. Somehow, during the span of two days, the new Pope had come to know each and every single one of the electors, and thus had a word of admiration for them all—even the four who had vied so bitterly for his position. He demanded no pledge of obedience from them, either, offering instead his own love and support. It was an act of mercy. The Church was to unite in face of the oncoming winter and press through it together. 

“It was like receiving absolution for all the anger and tension that had filled our hearts these past few days,” admitted Cardinal Sabbadin. “The moment His Holiness embraced me and encouraged us to start over again, I just felt this incredible sense of… relief. Of the Holy Spirit lifting a burden from my shoulders.”

And as the College of Cardinals gathered on the adjoining balconies to listen to their former brother’s first Urbi et Orbi as their new Pope, there was, for the first time in a long time, a resounding feeling of unity. 

“We’ve made the right decision,” agreed Cardinal Mendoza. “That he could come to us in such extraordinary circumstances… that we could be guided to him in spite of everything else that had happened… what else do you call that but an act of God?”

[PHOTO: The white smoke rising from the Sistine Chapel chimney that signalled the election of Pope Innocent XIV.]

stan pope innocent xiv @andonika
Conclave 2024 according to the New York Times

[PHOTO: Steve Bradbury accidentally coasting to the gold medal in the 2002 Salt Lake Winter Olympics, with Bradbury captioned as “Benitez”, and the other three skaters captioned as “Lawrence”, “Tremblay”, and “Adeyemi”.]

midichlorian jesus @herehaveafandom
So was all that black smoke just Cardinal Tabasco vaping or

🌽👎 @cornmazehater
the nyt article about how papi inocencio won the conclave is so funny sksksksdkfdf what do you MEAN he was just making friends while all the other contenders were dealing with mean girls shit

🌸 Evan 🌸 @sincerelyus
is NO ONE ELSE going to talk about how the nyt article just drops a link to an italian article about cardinal tremblay bribing people for votes and then says nothing else about it? journalism at its finest 🤌🤌🤌

babygirl cardinal lawrence @erus094
Cardinal Tremblay has been awfully quiet on twt these days… you’d think he’d be yapping again the moment he got his phone back but alas

tumble dry on low heat @thatwashingmachine
THE ITALIAN ARTICLE SAYS POPE IGGY’S LAST MEETING WAS WITH TREMBLAY WHERE HE FIRED HIM LMFAOOO
[PHOTO: Screenshot of a segment of La Repubblica’s article about the Tremblay simony report:

Fonti vicine al Vaticano dichiarano che nel suo ultimo incontro con il cardinale Tremblay, Papa Ignazio abbia preteso le sue dimissioni una volta scoperto i suoi reati di simonia.

Translated from Italian: Sources close to the Vatican declare that in his last meeting with Cardinal Tremblay, Pope Ignatius demanded his resignation once his crimes of simony were discovered.]

Repubblica @repubblica
Gli ultimi giorni di Papa Ignazio hanno rivelato una bomba ad orologeria di nome Tremblay, esplosiva per la chiesa quanto quelle fuori dai suoi cancelli.

Translated from Italian: The last days of Pope Ignatius reveal a ticking Tremblay time-bomb as explosive to the Church as the ones outside its gates.

HOT POPE brainworms! @fryingofthebrain
bro you were the last person he met with what did you do

Joseph Card. Tremblay 🇨🇦 @frtremblay
My heart is grieving at the passing of our Holy Father, Pope Ignatius, who will be remembered for his humility and care for the dispossessed and the marginalized. His soul is in God’s hands now. #RIPPopeIgnatius

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
DID CARDINAL TREMBLAY KILL POPE IGGY

HOT POPE brainworms! @fryingofthebrain
bro you were the last person he met with what did you do

forgive me holy father for i have sinned @tessasartori
omg the pope knew cardinal tremblay rigged the conclave so he decided to rig it right back to get us our papi inocencio? and u think god doesnt exist

[PHOTO: Animated GIF of Beyonce weeping and saying “God is real”] 

r/CuratedTumblr • 25m ago
u/mybrainwontcooperate

Tumblr reacts to Cardinal Lawrence almost becoming pope

We were THIS close to having the sacramental wine be replaced with Pimms!

[PHOTOS: A series of Tumblr screenshots:

hauntedpdf

PHEW DODGED A BULLET ON THAT ENGLISH POPE

——————————————— 

hauntedpdf

henry viii didn’t invent anglicanism for an englishman (derogatory) to become pope

——————————————— 

being-lion-hearted

there already was an english pope! 

——————————————— 

hauntedpdf

my condolences to the catholic church from 1154-1159

——————————————— 

little-boats-on-a-lake

guys do u think pope adrian iv ate sausage rolls

——————————————— 

melancholyskittle

[PHOTO: A picture of Cardinal Lawrence with the caption “peace be wiv u bruv”]

#pope #catholicism #thomas lawrence #conclave 2024 ]

50 Points   20 Comments   Share 

angelicautism • 10m ago
Actually, meat being rolled into pastries has existed since antiquity, so yes, there is a chance Pope Adrian IV might’ve had a sausage roll

12 points

zolanibor • 8m ago
The reddit autism machine strikes again

2 points

toot-uncommons • 5m ago
So hilarious that Pope Innocent just latched onto Cardinal Lawrence like a baby bird and tried to campaign for him and then they made HIM pope instead. 

5 points

t00manyturtles • 2m ago
When your ride or die backfires in the funniest way possible

6 points

notevengrayson • 10m ago
Where did they get this from? I thought the new Pope was Mexican?

2 points

nxll_n4m3 • 9m ago
The NYT has released an article about what happened in the Conclave. At the time of the double bombing, Cardinal Lawrence had been the frontrunner papabile, and Cardinal Benitez was encouraging people to vote for him.

18 points

notevengrayson • 7m ago
Oh lol. Wow. Imagine having a Pope who’s heard the northern line scream.

4 points

Chapter Text

S11 E30: A New Pope, Election Subversion & Finale: 11/17/2024: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

[VIDEO: The opening segment of the Season 11 Finale of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver:

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week Tonight! Thank you so much for joining us; I’m John Oliver, and boy, what a week it’s been! Let’s begin with the Catholic Church: the world’s biggest exporter of Catholic guilt.

Lots of people this week have been feeling that Catholic guilt, it seems, because this man, (points at photo of Pope Innocent XIV) formerly Cardinal Vincent Benítez, is now our new Pope:

(Montage of several newscasters—and Stephen Colbert—acting flustered about Pope Innocent XIV:

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”

“I have this sudden urge to go to confession.”
“Oh, thank god it’s not just me.”

“Well I can tell you with a handsome Pope like Pope Innocent you’re gonna get a lot of young people interested in going to church again.”

“Holy Father? More like Holy Daddy, am I right?”)

I have only one thing to say to anyone who’s lusting after the Pope right now: get thee to a nunnery. Get thee, and I cannot stress this enough: to a nunnery!

Former Cardinal Benítez, or as he’s now known, Pope Innocent XIV, was selected to lead the Church on the same day as a slew of terrorist attacks across Europe, one such incident landing right in front of the Vatican at the Piazza del Risorgimento. Ever since his first address, Pope Innocent has been going around to each of the memorial sites to offer his blessings and condolences.

(Series of photographs showing Pope Innocent XIV paying his respects at each of the sites, shadowed by the vigilant glare of Cardinal Thomas Lawrence)

That guard dog of his is Englishman Cardinal Thomas Lawrence, Dean of the College of Cardinals, and, if you’ll believe the New York Times, the man who almost became Pope. And I am so glad that didn’t happen, because as a fellow Brit I would never be able to live down an English papacy. I would become a sedevacantist almost immediately. Which I suspect is exactly what Anglicanism is to Catholics. 

As the Dean of the College of Cardinals, Cardinal Lawrence was the one in charge of this past conclave, which is already being reported in the Italian press as, and I quote, a (in an Italian accent) ‘hot mess’. 

(Montage of Italian newscasters reporting on the scandals starting to come out around the Conclave, with voiceover translations:

“Cardinal Joshua Adeyemi is reported to be resigning his position as the Cardinal Major Penitentiary at the Vatican, in the wake of allegations of misconduct from his time as a priest in Ondo State thirty years ago…”

“La Repubblica has uncovered a secret report into the financial activities of Cardinal Joseph Tremblay, Vatican Camerlengo and Prefect of the Dicastery for the Evangelisation of Peoples… making a prima facie case against him for simony…”

“A showdown at the Casa Santa Marta on the final morning of the conclave, when the cardinals discovered that someone had broken into the late Pope’s apartment to retrieve these stunning reports and deliver copies to everyone in the conclave… a fight almost broke out between several cardinals…”)

That’s right. A bunch of old men in red dresses nearly went to blows because someone dropped an exposé on one of the papal frontrunners. (Insert shot of Cardinal Lawrence photoshopped to be holding the Burn Book from Mean Girls) Isn’t it heartwarming to find out there’s still places out there where you don’t need the Internet to cancel someone?

So with all of the internal bombshells going on, it’s really no wonder that it took four external bombshells for the conclave to get its shit together and pick someone—or, in their words, have the Holy Spirit guide their hand to the right person. That’s right, the Pope—the Supreme Pontiff, leader of 1.4 billion Catholics around the world—is picked solely based on vibes. 

Which really does put that thirty-year period where the Catholic Church had two rival popes who hated each other into perspective, doesn’t it? All those French cardinals suddenly decided Pope Urban VI’s vibes were too rancid for them, so they got together and did the conclave all over again and elected Robert of Geneva as Anti-Pope Clement VII. Do you know how bad you have to be for people to decide to vote for a man named Bob instead of you? Do you?

And speaking of two rival leaders who hate each other… the 2024 Presidential Election.]

LastWeekTonight
9.86M subscribers

348,844 views   17 November 2024  #lastweektonight

In this Season 11 Finale, John Oliver discusses the aftermaths of the two latest elections to shake the world stage: the Papal Conclave, and the 2024 Presidential Election. 

———————————————

257 Comments

@J.Pip98 1 hr ago
Why are we going after Cardinal Adeyemi for something that happened 30 years ago? The kid he’s had with that nun is probably grown up by now. I’m devastated just thinking about the unwanted publicity this is going to cause for that child and their adoptive family.
22 likes

⛛ 14 replies

@spamtonsjc 1 hr ago
His Holiness’ words to us were so moving, calling us to love our neighbors even in such a time of strife… this is what happens when God raises a Pope from a missionary… He never makes mistakes… ✝️🙌
48 likes

@draig-felyn 1 hr ago
What are the odds that disgraceful Jeff Richards will refuse to leave the WH in January?
48 likes

@oceanmalina 1 hr ago
I thought I was the only one who thought the new Pope was hot but now I see everyone else agrees
94 likes

⛛ 21 replies

[VIDEO: Edit of Pope Innocent XIV, spliced together from the photos from his now-deactivated Twitter account @frbenitez plus footage of his public appearances in his first week as Pope, set to a remix of “Get it Sexyy” by Sexyy Red.]

Comments 145   Likes 14.1k

puwedits • CREATOR
he just wanted to go back to kabul 🥹😭 #popeinnocentxiv #vincentbenitez #pope #conclave #edit
6h  reply  ♥️2k

blacksnape123
is simping for the pope a sin
6h  reply  ♥️500

puwedits • CREATOR
no… 🌚
5h  reply  ♥️10

ezra-767
Bendíceme Padre, porque he pecado 🫣
5h  reply  ♥️203

puwedits • CREATOR
JAJAJA
2h  reply  ♥️5

ballard96
we’ve got pope thirst traps before GTA6, what a time to be alive
2h  reply  ♥️838

vincent1213
If he were my priest and I was in confession… let’s just say I’d be showing him some new sins 🫦🫦
4h  reply  ♥️21

puwedits • CREATOR
gurl same-
3h  reply  ♥️12

EXCLUSIVE: Post-Conclave Interview with Joseph Card. Tremblay

[VIDEO: Segment from a livestream hosted by American Catholic podcaster Trevor Richardson Lafferty:

TREVOR: …So you deny the allegations in the press right now.

TREMBLAY: Absolutely. The report had been withdrawn. There is no proof that the funds in those accounts had been used for anything untoward, because that was not the intention.

TREVOR: So then why would someone at the Vatican want to accuse you of simony?

TREMBLAY: Most likely to forward their own career. Cardinal Lawrence had also been a papabile during this past conclave, remember. 

TREVOR: You’re suggesting Cardinal Lawrence… 

TREMBLAY: I’m not suggesting anything; I would never dream of violating the oath I took to preserve the secrecy of the vote. What I can say, of course, is that he could have enforced the rules of sequestration and not allowed the conclave to be swayed by outside information like a withdrawn report stolen so brazenly out of the late Holy Father’s apartments… 

TREVOR: All for the sake of himself? Or for our new Holy Father?

TREMBLAY: Oh, I would never dream of besmirching our new Holy Father’s reputation. Or that of Cardinal Lawrence… but anyone with eyes can see there is now an almost-intimate closeness between them. Dear Thomas—that’s Cardinal Lawerence, of course—and I have been colleagues at the Curia for so long, and I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at our new Holy Father. And you must have read what people are saying… 

TREVOR: That he fell to his knees in front of the new Holy Father once the votes had been counted?

TREMBLAY: They also spent an awful long time together in the Room of Tears before the new Holy Father was put into his vestments.]

The God-Cast with TR Lafferty
5.36K subscribers

2,092 views   1 hour ago  #catholicism #christianity #habemuspapam

Trevor Richardson Lafferty sits down with Joseph Cardinal Tremblay, Archbishop Emeritus of Quebec, to ask him for his side of the story on all the leaks regarding Curial leadership that came out during the conclave… and what he predicts His Holiness Pope Innocent XIV’s pontificate will look like.

#jesuschrist #pope #conclave #popeinnocentxiv

———————————————

Comments are turned off. Learn more

hazza @realpersonfacts
broo what are u tryin to imply about the pope and cardinal lawrence

Joseph Card. Tremblay 🇨🇦 @frtremblay
Just sat down for a great interview with @TRLafferty on @LaffertyGodCast! Watch more here: 

FRAN ☆ @frantasticmess
Not Tremblay trying to make homosexual allegations towards the Pope to divert attention from his simony accusations 😭💀

I just know that old man knees are shattered 😏 #cardtremblayisoverparty #lawrenitez

lumine @thatsforaiitime
someone needs to quarantine tremblay he’s been infected with the chismosavirus sskskskskskdkds

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
Cardinal Tremblay, to Lawrenitez:

[PHOTO: A photo of a dog looking sidelong suspiciously at the camera, appended with the Pride flag.]

🍄🍄🍄 @enokivhs
im starting to think l@wr3nit3z are a little more than just colleagues
[PHOTOS: Press photographs of Pope Innocent XIV being guided by Cardinal Lawrence past cheering well-wishers; Pope Innocent XIV kneeling in front of the Piazza del Risorgimento memorial while Cardinal Lawrence holds an umbrella over him; Pope Innocent XIV looking back brightly over his shoulder, laughing, while Cardinal Lawrence looks at him as if he still can’t believe the man is real.]

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
guys should I give out lottery numbers #calledit #lawrenitez 

Pope Crave @ClubConcrave
DIVAS SPOTTED #ConclaveWatch #Conclave2024
[PHOTOS: Screenshots of a helicopter news feed showing two red-robed cardinals—Lawrence and Benítez—having a close discussion in the Vatican gardens at night.]

no. 1 papi inocencio stan @cloudsofsmoke
if lawrence likes benitez who am i to complain 
[PHOTO: Screenshot of a news article quoting Cardinal Tremblay’s comments on The God-Cast with TR Lafferty:

“Anyone with eyes can see there is now an almost-intimate closeness between them.”]

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd
Hey guys, I know we’re all really enthusiastic about the new Pope but could we please tone down the speculating about his private life? It‘s a violation of his privacy.

🌽👎 @cornmazehater
Wasn’t this the guy who got caught making out with the Prince of England?
[PHOTO: Screenshot of a tweet by @theagcd asking for people to ‘tone down’ their speculations into Pope Innocent XIV’s personal life.]

midichlorian jesus @herehaveafandom
@cornmazehater If there’s anyone out there who knows what it’s like to have strangers on twt commenting on his relationships, it’s probably ACD 

k a u h l @virtualrain
@herehaveafandom yeah but it’s a joke. lawrence and the pope are celibate it’s never gonna happen

[PHOTO: A picture of Pope Innocent XIV with the misquote “RPF is fine.”]

VATICAN NEWS

POPE // POPE INNOCENT XIV // THOMAS JACOB LAWRENCE // CONCLAVE // CARDINALS // POPE IGNATIUS

“I could not have prayed for someone more worthy.” Cardinal Lawrence reflects on Pope Innocent and Pope Ignatius

The Dean of the College of Cardinals speaks with Vatican News about Pope Innocent XIV, shares his experience leading the Conclave, and reflects on the legacy of Pope Ignatius nearly a month after his passing.

By Roberto Foscarini

As the Dean of the College of Cardinals, Cardinal Thomas Lawrence had been one of the first to recognize Pope Ignatius’ in pectore appointment of Cardinal Vincent Benítez on the eve of the Papal Conclave. Despite the unexpected development, and Cardinal Benítez’s lateness, Cardinal Lawrence quickly welcomed him into the College, introducing him to the other Cardinals who would end up voting him into the Seat of St. Peter. 

Now as one of Pope Innocent XIV’s most trusted advisors, Cardinal Lawrence sits down with Vatican News to offer his observations on the new Pope, the Conclave process, and Pope Ignatius’ legacy.

Cardinal Lawrence, you were one of the first to meet then-Cardinal Benítez in the context of the Conclave. What were your first impressions of him, and how has that changed now that you’ve gotten to know His Holiness better?

The first time I laid eyes on our new Holy Father, he had just arrived from a long flight from Kabul, carrying nothing with him but his cassock—not even dressed like a cardinal—and a rosary. He was sitting quietly in the back room, praying. It spoke to his dedication to the late Holy Father and the future of the Church that he decided not to let the in pectore appointment expire and come to take part in the Conclave. I was, frankly, inspired by his example. 

Now that I have come to know him better, I can say that he is still very much that humble, prayerful, kind man that I first met on the eve of the conclave. All of the tribulations that he has passed through in order to take his seat as the Vicar of Christ and heir to St. Peter only reaffirm that we must have faith in the Holy Spirit’s plans for us. I could not have prayed for someone more worthy of the Pontificate than Pope Innocent. 

As someone with extensive experience in the Curia working under numerous pontificates, what are some of the similarities between Pope Innocent and his predecessors? The differences?

Well, the obvious first is that Pope Innocent is from the Americas, and from a developing nation as well. For years prior to this there had been talk of a Third World Pope, and now we finally have one. Pope Innocent comes from Mexico, but he also has had pastoral experiences in places like the Congo, Afghanistan, and Iraq, which makes him truly, as the late Holy Father once said, a “shepherd with the smell of his sheep.” 

Still, what ties all these Holy Fathers together is a shared devotion to our Holy Mother Church and her mission: to strengthen our brothers and sisters in their faith in Jesus, the Son of the Living God. The ways in which they express the love of God to the flock may differ depending on their human backgrounds, but ultimately they share a common goal in leading the Church. I have no doubt that the work Pope Innocent has done prior to his elevation will inform the course of his Pontificate as well.

And how do you think Pope Innocent is handling the transition from missionary work to the Curia and the Vatican in general?

Admirably, with the same quiet grace and dignity that he had when he first accepted his election. Like our previous Holy Father, Pope Innocent only maintains an office in the Apostolic Palace, as he prefers to room in the Casa Santa Marta instead. There is still much of the Missionary Priest in him; he calls his former diocese in Kabul every night.

On the eve of this conclave many spoke of a Church divided, and having to undergo eight ballots certainly does speak to a slower-than-normal development of consensus among the Cardinals. Given your own experiences as a cardinal-elector for five conclaves now, how does this one compare with the others?

With a mind to the vows I took to preserve the secrecy of the Conclave, all I can say is that when the Holy Spirit moves us, it helps us overcome the arbitrary lines that we humans draw between ourselves. When you are as sequestered as we had been, there is this danger of losing sight of your original purpose in the course of seeking consensus. Pope Innocent was the one who reminded us that the world outside was waiting for our decision, and that we must trust in God’s guidance to get there. And as you can see, more than two-thirds of us believed that the Holy Spirit marked him for the Church at that very moment.

Many people were looking to you for leadership during the sede vacante and the Conclave, to the point that you yourself became one of the leading papabili. What was your experience of that moment?

The same as Pope Innocent: that it was a chalice that I would accept out of the grave duty incumbent upon us Cardinals to act with the right intentions, for the good of the Universal Church. I am glad the chalice was not passed to me, though; I am more content to help Pope Innocent in his ministry than to be Pope myself. 

You were the one to ask Cardinal Benítez for the name he wished to be known as. What do you think Pope Innocent’s choice in name will tell us about his pontificate?

It has been centuries since a Pope named himself after one of the virtues, and the previous two Pope Innocents did make a point to stop corruption and nepotism within the Vatican. That being said, Pope Innocent III was the one who strengthened the power of the Papacy, so I would not presume to assume I know why the Holy Father chose the name he chose. I can say, however, that the virtue itself suits him. He is a lamb leading a flock of lions.

We are now approaching the one-month anniversary of the death of Pope Ignatius. As a longtime friend and confidant of the previous Holy Father, what do you think will be his most lasting impact on the Church and the wider world? 

That he laid the foundations for the work that Pope Innocent will now undertake. That his breaks with tradition in service of improving accessibility with the Church has led to him being beloved with more than just the Catholic faithful—that he has also touched the hearts of non-Catholic Christian communities and non-Christian faiths all around the world. The testimonies that have been given about his impact in people’s lives will ensure a deepened understanding not just of Pope Ignatius’ life, but also of his ministry.

His humanity—his concern for the most human among us, the most downtrodden and marginalized—defined his Pontificate, and will define his legacy as well. But as for me, personally, I will choose to remember him as an old and dear friend, who always walked a couple steps ahead of the rest of us so that he could guide us better. 

irisbellemoon

[PHOTOS: Screenshots of the Vatican News interview with Cardinal Lawrence, cropped to specific segments:

I was, frankly, inspired by his example. 

I could not have prayed for someone more worthy of the pontificate than Pope Innocent. 

Admirably, with the same quiet grace and dignity that he had when he first accepted his election.

he calls his former diocese in Kabul every night.

I am more content to help Pope Innocent in his ministry than to be Pope myself. 

I can say, however, that the virtue itself suits him. He is a lamb leading a flock of lions.]

How does Cardinal Lawrence know what our Papi does every night? Is he there for these calls? Are he and the Papasote just hanging out after hours? The fics write themselves

#pope innocent xiv #thomas lawrence #lawrenitez

——————————————— 

evergardenwall

[PHOTO: A screenshot of the Archive of our Own results for the relationship tag “Vincent Benítez | Pope Innocent XIV/Thomas Lawrence”, showing that there are already 5 entries.]

the devil works hard but ao3 writers work harder

#lawrenitez #pope innocent xiv #thomas lawrence #rpf is fine - pope innocent xiv #papi inocencio

LIVE: Inaugural Mass of Pope Innocent XIV | VICINO News

[VIDEO: Livestream news feed of the Inauguration of Pope Innocent XIV. At one point, Cardinal Lawrence presents him with the Fisherman’s Ring, sliding it onto his finger like a wedding ring while looking him tenderly in the eyes, stealing a kiss to the ring before they part.]

VICINO News EN
586K subscribers

81,351 views   Streamed live 17 November 2024  #pope #popeinnocentxiv #vatican

Watch live as Pope Innocent XIV will receive the official ornaments of his office at his Inauguration Mass. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy; U.S. President Jeffrey Richards; Britain’s Catherine, Princess Royal; and Mexican President Maria Fernandez Alvarez are among the world leaders expected to attend the event at the Vatican.

#pope #popeinnocentxiv #live

———————————————

⛛ Top Chat

damielberetta: I’ve been raised Catholic all my life and recently was having a crisis of faith. Pope Innocent XIV has restored me to the Church and to God… There is such divine grace in all that he is and all that he has done… I will pray for him every single day 🙏🥹❤️‍🔥

J.Pip98: May God bless him and St. Michael protect him 🙏✝️

venetiawells: Is that Alex Claremont-Diaz in the rows of dignitaries? 😮

autistic-yuri: @venetiawells WAIT NO WAY that’s so unexpected. I didn’t even know he was Catholic

bluelivesmatter: WOKE MARXIST POPE 

t00manyturtles: @bluelivesmatter and what of it 

conclover: @bluelivesmatter -to the tune of pink pony club- i’m gonna keep on praying for the WOKE MARXIST POPE 

barbiebecky: i WILL be boycotting the church if he goes woke 

being-lion-hearted: @barbiebecky This is a Holy Father who grew up in the Third World, raised by poor parents. Why would he concern himself with the grievances of modern politics? He is above all that now! 🙏

foxthewarlock: is anyone else distracted by the sunlight bouncing off of card. bellini’s bald head or is it just me 

idkwottowritehere: Pope Innocent reminds me of Wojtyła, he looks just as humble and full of grace. He will do incredible things! 

psychopomping: what’s happening here

davonati: they’re giving innocent all the items that mark him as the pope.

psychopomping: what’s with the ring though

nxll_n4m3: That’s the Fisherman’s Ring. It’s supposed to be a sign of the Pope’s authority. That’s why you see people kneeling to kiss the Pope’s hand all the time - they’re kissing the ring

notevengrayson: Isn’t Tremblay supposed to be the one giving the Fisherman’s Ring?

herehaveafandom: yeah what’s Cardinal Lawrence doing there

nxll_n4m3: The previous 2 popes also had the Dean of the College of Cardinals give them their rings, this isn’t that unusual

psychopomping: does the dean of the college of cardinals usually hold the pope’s hand and stare into his eyes for that long tho

nxll_n4m3: He is bearing the ring to Pope Innocent’s wedding to God. The Pope represents the Church, the bride of Christ. It’s not what you think.

autistic-yuri: !!! THE KISS ON HIS HAND WHAT IN THE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE?

mybrainwontcooperate: !!!! I’M UNWELL

clever-chaos-light: LSKDJGLAKSDJFSDLKJF 

the-winchester-s-guardian: IL PAPA STA SPOSANDO IL SUO DECANO???!??!!!

fryingofthebrain: I thought Lawrence/Benitez was a Twitter joke?? What is this??

miohtemaemiso: ご結婚おめでとうございます 🎉

ezra-767: SE CASARONNNN 🗣️🗣️🗣️

frogguchi: Congrats on the wedding po #LAWvingforCENTuries

saggis23: creen que hayan explorado sus cuerpos?

eggybaconeggyt: are- are they lovers?

grimeshound: @eggybaconeggyt worse. they’re catholics

bibliayaoi: Vivan los novios 💍❤️‍🔥

sincerelyus: propaganda i'm falling for: old man catholic rpf yaoi

cornmazehater: LAWRENITEZ REAL???

nxll_n4m3: Stop reading into it. It’s a mark of loyalty and respect to the Pope to kiss his ring.

conclover: OH I BET HE’S KISSING THE RING ALL RIGHT 🍑👅

Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Warnings Apply
Fandoms: Vatican RPF, Real Person Fiction
Relationship: Vincent Benítez | Pope Innocent XIV/Thomas Lawrence
Characters: Vincent Benítez | Pope Innocent XIV, Thomas Lawrence
Additional Tags: Pining, Catholicism, Old Man Yaoi, I’m sorry I saw the inauguration mass and blacked out and then this happened

with this ring, i thee wed

FujoshiGoddess

Summary:

The Fisherman’s Ring is heavy in Thomas’ hand. 

———————————————

The Fisherman’s Ring is heavy in Thomas’ hand. 

“Is it acceptable, do you think?” asks O’Malley, still holding the jeweller’s box. Thomas holds the ring up and examines it further. It is tradition for the Camerlengo to do the honour of slipping this ring onto the Holy Father’s hand in his inauguration, but with Tremblay still weathering out the simony scandal—and for insinuating things about the Holy Father’s… personal life—it made sense for Thomas to step in.

His predecessor had given the Ring to the last two Holy Fathers as well. It isn’t terribly unusual, or untoward. 

And yet… 

Thomas approves of the Ring and places it back in the box before stepping back to look out the window, into the Vatican gardens where the Holy Father—Pope Innocent XIV—Vincent—was conversing with a small bevy of nuns. White looks good on him. But then again, so did the simple black cassock that he had worn when he first showed up at the Casa Santa Marta, on the eve of the conclave. The nuns’ laughter tugs at something inside Thomas’ own chest. They love their Holy Father. The whole world does.

But they don’t know Vincent like Thomas does.

Has it only been a week? Somehow it feels as though they’ve known each other all their lives, like he’s going to look back through old photographs and find Vincent there, totally naturally, like he’d always been there and Thomas had temporarily forgot. For most of the Vatican Vincent is still mostly an enigma. At best, they’d heard the legends of his works and deeds—the hushed tales of staring down traffickers and tending to traumatised girls. Vincent is an outsider King, like Aragorn returning to the throne of Gondor. The Curia would take advantage of his unfamiliarity, except Thomas is there to stop them.

Out in the gardens, a breeze blows Vincent’s white zucchetto off his head, and the nun who delivers it back to him is nearly faint with excitement. Thomas does not want to examine why he wishes at that moment to trade places with her. 

———————————————

The Inauguration Mass is well attended—as with all things Papal—and the crowd goes wild for Pope Innocent’s first ride in the Popemobile. Thomas’ mouth flies through plainsong and prayer like it’s second nature. This isn’t his first Papal Inauguration. Part of him hopes it will be his last.

The Fisherman’s Ring is heavy in his hand. Even within its box, Thomas can feel it. The weight of responsibility, the burden of duty. As heavy as the sacrament of marriage, because it is. 

Today, Vincent, as representative of the Holy Mother Church, will be bound in matrimony to God. He is resplendent in his white Papal vestments, already the epitome of a blushing bride. 

Thomas will not examine why that makes that tugging feeling return to his chest. It is a sin to covet another man’s wife—it is a commandment he would not break. But his mortal flesh is sinful nonetheless, and it betrays him in the pounding of his heart, the tingling of his fingers whenever Vincent’s hands brush against his. 

In this week he has salvaged all the looks he can, all the moments they spend in each other’s presence. He was the first one Vincent had a private audience with—though few things of the Pope are truly ever private given the presence of photographers—and his presence has been requested in meetings beyond his scope as Dean of the College of Cardinals. 

He does not complain; he is gathering up these moments to cherish. To treasure the last days in which Vincent Benítez is but the Lord’s fiancée… not yet His wife.

But now the moment is here, and Thomas must be the one to give him away. To put this ring upon Vincent’s hand and seal that holy vow, to put into Vincent’s hands the full weight of his office. When it is time, he hands the box containing the ring to his assistant, and approaches the foot of the dais to speak the now-familiar oath.

Beatissime Pater,
Episcopus et Pastor animarum nostrarum
Christus, Filius Dei vivi,
qui super petram
Ecclesiam suam ædificavit,
Ipse tibi donet Anulum sigillum Petri Piscatoris,
qui suam spem in mari Galilææ expertus est,
cui Dominus Iesus cælorum Regni claves commisit.

He is walking up the steps towards Vincent—Pope Innocent XIV—the Holy Father—and the ring is cold when he brings it out of the box. Vincent smiles irrepressibly as Thomas approaches, beautiful as ever. Thomas cannot bear to look away as he takes Vincent’s hand—his hands are warm—and slides the ring onto his finger.

Beato apostolo Petro tu hodie succedis
in Episcopatu huius Ecclesiæ,
quæ caritatis unitati præsidet,
ut beatus apostolus Paulus docuit;
Spriritus caritatis,
in cord nostra effusus,
vim et suavitatem largiatur
tuo ministerio omnes in Christum credentes
in unitatis communione servandi.

(With this ring, I thee wed.)

He can’t help but picture it, though he knows that it is a sin: Vincent and him at the altar, receiving this holy sacrament. It would never happen, not as long as folks like Tedesco remained around to complain of it. It would never happen anyway because Vincent is now married to God through the Church. Husband, take this cup from me, Vincent’s dark eyes seem to say, even as Thomas drank him in. Yet not my will but yours be done.

Thomas will claim, in the days to come, that the Holy Spirit bade him kneel just like it had on the day of the Conclave, when Vincent had first been elected. 

He will claim the Holy Spirit urged him to take Vincent’s hand and kiss it, right on the fourth knuckle, right above the cold, unfeeling ring. 

But right now the causes and reasons don’t matter. Not when Vincent is smiling at him, the love so bright and beaming out of every line of his face. 

Thomas rises upwards slowly, his hands still lingering in the Holy Father’s, and wants, wants, wants. 

↑Top  Kudos ❤  Invite to Collections  Bookmark  Comments (8)

Chapter Text

Who’s Your (Holy) Zaddy? Hot Priest Edition

[VIDEO: Segment from the “Who’s Your Zaddy?” portion of tonight’s episode of After Midnight with Taylor Tomlinson:

TAYLOR: Now, in case you haven’t been following the news lately, the Catholic Church was recently in the market for a new Holy Father. And boy, oh boy, did the cardinals deliver:

Pull back to a shot of the big screen with a photograph of Pope Innocent XIV, to immense applause.

TAYLOR: Naturally, the Internet has weighed in, calling Pope Innocent XIV a variety of fun little nicknames, like ‘Habemus Hottie’—

The photograph changes to the screenshot of someone’s Twitter post.

TAYLOR: ‘Papi Inocencio’—

The screenshot changes to another Tweet.

TAYLOR: And ‘the Papasote’. 

Another Tweet.

TAYLOR: I think we can safely say that while the Conclave might have elected a new Holy Father, the Internet has found itself a new Holy Zaddy. And in honor of that, tonight we’re going to play a special round of ‘Who’s Your (Holy) Zaddy’, Hot Priest Edition!

Wide shot of the three panelists. The one on the left, a handsome young Chinese man in red and black, is already doubled over on his podium, giggling.

TAYLOR: The rules of this game are simple. You have each been assigned a mystery Zaddy, though tonight all of them are high-ranking Catholic Church officials. You will try to guess who your hot priest is through the clues that I give you. If you confess correctly, you get a hundred points. If you can’t get it right, your fellow panelists will be able to steal your Zaddy—and the points they come with—from you. 

The handsome young Chinese man raises his hand.

TAYLOR: Yes, William.

WILLIAM: Will we get excommunicated for this?

TAYLOR: Yes.

WILLIAM: Sounds great. I’m in. 

TAYLOR: In that case, you can go first. (A photograph of Cardinal Modesto Villanueva appears on William’s podium. The audience sighs dreamily.) This Cardinal is known for his skills with the guitar and a lovely singing voice. He’s very young for his age, and has made great efforts to bring young people back to the church through his work with Catholic Youth—

WILLIAM: (slams button) Chito Mendoza.

TAYLOR: Do you even want to hear the last clue?

WILLIAM: You mean it’s NOT him? The karaoke priest? 

TAYLOR: I said guitar, not karaoke!

WILLIAM: Okay, fine, last clue.

TAYLOR: He’s been on the record speculating that loosening the requirements for clerical celibacy could end the vocation crisis in the Church.

WILLIAM: (slams button) Cardinal Luis Antonio “Chito” Mendoza!

TAYLOR: Is that your final answer?

WILLIAM: I still can’t believe you’d give me those other two clues and it’s NOT Cardinal Mendoza. 

TAYLOR: Believe it or not, there can be more than one young-looking singing Cardinal! Come on, lock in your answer, Will. 

WILLIAM: Oh. Oh. Oh, wait, I know. It’s the Spanish guy. Cardinal Villanueva! 

TAYLOR: Yes! Cardinal Modesto Villanueva of Toledo, Spain! (The big screen shows a nice photo of Cardinal Villanueva adjusting his clerical collar.) With a face like that, I’m sure he’s not the only one who wants an end to clerical celibacy. 

The panelist on the right, another handsome young Chinese man in an olive green suit, snickers behind his fan.

TAYLOR: (turning to the panelist on the right) Henry, your turn. Who’s your Zaddy?

HENRY: This feels like a threat.

A photograph of Cardinal Roberto Francisco Martinez appears on his podium. The crowd murmurs—they hadn’t seen much about this man in the press during the conclave.

TAYLOR: All right. This Cardinal loves long drives and short homilies, and recently made a splash at a Vatican charity tennis event hosted by the late Pope Ignatius—

HENRY: Oh, I don’t know, I really, really don’t know… 

TAYLOR: He’s known to be the steady, quiet one in the room, and is rumoured to be replacing Cardinal Tutino as the head of the Dicastery for Bishops… 

WILLIAM: (elbowing the panelist next to him) Haha, Bertie, he could be you if you were Catholic!

ALBERT: (deadpan) Don’t be ridiculous.

TAYLOR: Last clue: he’s originally from Chicago, but moved to Peru when he was younger…

HENRY: I don’t know, the guy who made the Habemus Papam announcement?

An incorrect chime.

TAYLOR: Aww, too bad. Albert, Will, do either of you want to take this?

WILLIAM: (smashes button) Cardinal Albert Lan.

TAYLOR: (snorting) Sorry, no. 

WILLIAM: What! 

TAYLOR: Your coworker’s Chinese, not Peruvian!

WILLIAM: But he’s also a man of few words and has a killer tennis serve!

TAYLOR: Okay, I will give you a point for being such a simp for Bertie here—(presses a button to give William exactly one point) but let’s be serious, we’re looking for a Cardinal.

ALBERT: (dignifiedly presses the button) Cardinal Roberto Francisco Martinez, Archbishop of Chiclayo. 

TAYLOR: Wow, yes, correct. (rewards points, as a larger photograph of Cardinal Martinez eating ice cream in a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows appears on the big screen) I don’t even know how you know that, all the media buzz around this conclave went to, well, everyone else. 

WILLIAM: Don’t underestimate Bertie! (nudges his fellow panelist again)

TAYLOR: All right, Albert, you’re up. (A photograph of Cardinal Goffredo Tedesco appears on the podium. The audience is a mixture of gasps and groans.)

ALBERT: Cardinal Goffredo Tedesco, Patriarch of Venice.

TAYLOR: What! How’d you— (rewards points) I didn’t even read out the clues!

ALBERT: I gauged the audience reaction. Few cardinals elicit such a remarkable response.

TAYLOR: Incredible. You must be popular during trivia nights.

WILLIAM: (slinging an arm around Albert’s shoulder) We always win!

TAYLOR: Well, our final Holy Zaddy is up for anyone to guess—but maybe we need to stop Albert from responding until all the clues are in. 

Albert’s eyes narrow. A photograph of Aldo Bellini appears on everyone’s podiums.

TAYLOR: This Cardinal has been very outspoken about making the Church more welcoming to LGBTQ+ and divorced people. He was one of the frontrunners in this last conclave, and will likely retain his position as Secretary of State—

Albert and William both slam their buttons.

WILLIAM: Cardinal Mario Assente! (incorrect buzzer) No, I was joking—Cardinal Bellini!

TAYLOR: Correct! (A bigger photo of Cardinal Bellini hugging someone with a rainbow drawn on their cheek appears on the big screen) Cardinal Aldo Bellini, the man who was almost Pope!

WILLIAM: Probably better for him that he wasn’t, I’d be shocked to see what level of stress lies beyond ‘balding’! 

TAYLOR: And you wish that on our current Pope? 

WILLIAM: (laughing) No, but if he does start to go bald we’ll at least see it as a distress signal!

TAYLOR: (awards him his points, and some extra) Incredible. And here I thought the little cape things were enough of a distress display. 

The screen switches to a photograph of Pope Innocent’s white pellegrina flapping into his face. 

TAYLOR: Well, that’s it for tonight’s “Who’s Your (Holy) Zaddy: Hot Priest Edition”. We’re going to break briefly for confession—nah, I’m just joking, I already did my time in church; I have no more shame. Don’t come after us, though, Vatican. We’ll be right back with #HashtagWars! Stick around.]

After Midnight
268K subscribers

21k views   17 November 2024  #Conclave2024 #TaylorTomlinson

In honor of the recent inaugural Mass of Pope Innocent XIV, Taylor Tomlinson assigns some holy Zaddies to William Wei, Albert Lan, and Henry Nie, including Cardinals Bellini, Tedesco, Villanueva, and Martinez.

#AfterMidnight #TaylorTomlinson #zaddy #conclave #pope #popeinnocentxiv 

———————————————

10 Comments

@hailvenus 2 hrs ago
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CARDI CHITO 🇵🇭 🇵🇭 😭
42 likes

@kartodos 3 hrs ago
So glad to see Cardinal Martinez getting the recognition he deserves - I mean who said that
35 likes

@valgus 4 hrs ago
Anyone else get a bit of a gay vibe from William and Albert?
5 likes

@saintoleander 3 hrs ago
Just the right amount of blasphemy to keep us on our toes! Thanks Taylor!
10 likes

@mollyodonnell 30 min ago
All of you are going to hell