Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sieun watches Seongje slurp up noodles with a perfectly blank face. He waits patiently while the taller boy finishes. Once he finally looks back up at Sieun, he's smiling but Sieun doesn't know whether to take that as a good sign or not. Keum Seongje was unpredictable. 

"Okay," he says finally, the corner of his eyes crinkling up behind his glasses. "I'll do it." 

Sieun releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to approach Seongje, he did help Juntae after all. Perhaps his allegiance to the Union was really over. The evidence of the records would be the cherry on top they needed to make sure the Union dissolved completely and Seongje held the key to that. 

"I want one thing though, in return." Seongje adds. 

Sieun frowns further, internally rolls his eyes because of course. It was still Seongje at the end of the day, he wouldn't just help them without getting anything but Sieun couldn't think of anything he could possibly want from him. "I don't have money." He deadpans. 

Seongje smiles at him with that creepy grin. "Good because I don't need your money. I want something else." Seongje states and before Sieun could guess what that might be, he stiffens, feeling a foot brush his ankle, under his table. He glares at Seongje, deepens as the curious foot travels further up and down his leg. He wants to stand up and leave but he knows he can't, not when Seongje had the information they needed to take down the Union once and for all. So he remains in his seat and forces himself to deal with Seongje practically molesting his legs. 

"What would that be?" He asks, despite having an idea of what the madman was implying. He was just hoping by some miracle he was wrong. 

But then Seongje reaches under the table and his grip tightens when he finds Sieun's rigid hand in his lap, squeezing it. He grins again when Sieun doesn't fight him. "I want to spend the night with you." 

.

Sieun has always been a stranger to affection of any kind. His parents never really hugged or kissed him. Maybe a head pat here and there with a few words of affirmation when he received good grades but that's also where it ended. It never bothered him much, he didn't seek human touch and found more comfort in his studies than in someone's arms. It felt like he was always underwater, away from everyone in his own little bubble and he thought he was content. 

That is until he met Suho. 

Ahn Suho was a breath of oxygen that Sieun didn't even know he needed. His presence alone pulled Sieun to the surface, allowing him to break out of his closed bubble with every kind gesture, smile and touch. He never knew friends could bring such joy to his once solemn existence. He childishly wanted it to last forever, days of him, Suho and Beomseok hanging out and being friends.

He wished he fought harder to be a better friend, a better boyfriend to Suho. They never told anyone else about it, didn't have a chance before everything went up in flames but they were dating. Suho wasn't only his first friend but also his first romantic relationship. One day Suho had called him cute after putting the motorcycle helmet on him and leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. It was like fireworks went out throughout Sieun's body, that everything had been leading right to that moment. 

Suho had pulled back to see his reaction but Sieun chased after his lips and reconnected them, his cheeks warming from the soft press as he was kissed by the first person to ever matter to him. 

It had escalated quickly after that; whenever they were alone, Sieun was reaching for Suho, wanting to be touched in some way, whether it was in Suho's arms or his lips or both. Suho didn't seem to mind the newfound needy side, in fact he embraced it and it only made Sieun more comfortable and eager for what else would be in store.

They had sex, once but it was the best feeling in Sieun's life and the closest he ever felt to another person. Closed off from the rest of the world in Suho's empty apartment, in his small bedroom; their naked bodies under a thin sheet and Suho thrusted in and out of him with so much passion, Sieun swallows it down like it was his only salvation and it was. Soft kisses to Sieun's neck and gentle but stern hands holding his body close because Suho felt it too, the dark, possessive look in his eyes as he whispered over and over how pretty Sieun was, how good he took him, how much he liked him. 

After that, Sieun understood why some couples did so much public affection, the overwhelming love he had for Suho was bursting out of him like an overstuffed teddy bear. But it ended up being his downfall. Perhaps if he wasn't so wrapped up in his relationship and protecting Suho from their bullies, he could have been there better for Beomseok, would have picked up on the signs that something was wrong with him before it had gotten worse. It's guilt that still haunted him for months, the reason why he stayed by himself when he transferred to Eunjang. He didn't want the opportunity to let down more people. But gradually Juntae, Baku and Gotak wormed their way into his life against his will and Sieun couldn't be more thankful to have them. 

He had long forgotten what it was like to have friends. They had saved him from the black hole he had put himself in, in more ways than one and for that he was forever grateful for their care and support of him. The least he could do is return the favor. 

Even if it meant dealing with the likes of Keum Seongje; he'd do whatever it takes to protect his friends and get Baekjin and the Union to leave them alone permanently. He would never let his friends down again. That's why he finds himself leaving the restaurant with Seongje and following him down a quiet path. 

He doesn't know where Seongje is taking him but he has an idea since he had agreed to what the maniac wanted. Seongje had smiled wide, like he won the lottery when Sieun accepted and had said a swift follow me and that was that. He doesn't know why Seongje wants him, didn't find himself attractively appealing. Suho was the only one who made Sieun feel good in his own skin and Juntae was definitely the 'cute' one in their friend group. Wouldn't it have made more sense to go after him? But then again, he would have hated Seongje to burden Juntae with this kind of favor.

Sieun tries to ignore the growing anxiety in his chest with each step. It was just sex, people their age had sex all the time. It didn't have to mean anything. It didn't mean anything. He was only doing this for his friends’ safety. His heart pangs at the thought of Suho; his comatose boyfriend still laying in a hospital bed with hoses coming out of his nose. This didn't count as cheating because Seongje meant nothing to him. This was a business transaction, no more, no less. However his traitorous mind makes him think about Suho's reaction if he knew what he was doing and his stomach drops from the thought. He forces himself to focus on Seongje's back to stop thinking about Suho before he starts having second thoughts. It was easy since Seongje was nothing like Suho, apparent by his wild hair and abhorrent tracksuits. 

They finally arrive at a small apartment complex and Seongje stomps out the cigarette he was smoking and unlocks the door. He grabs Sieun's wrist and drags him through the dark apartment. Sieun can't see so he lets himself be dragged down a hallway and into a room. 

"There, that's better, right?" Seongje says as he flicks the light switch. The room they're in is a bedroom and based on the piles of clothes and stubbed out cigarettes in the ashtray, it was Seongje's room. Did this guy really take Sieun to his home? 

Sieun doesn't get a chance to ask or say anything for that matter because Seongje is closing in on him. He uses the hand holding Sieun's wrist to pin him up against the bedroom door. Sieun's breathing quickens as Seongje locks eyes with him. He still has that crazy look in his eyes mixed with a hint of something else. Sieun knows what it was, had seen it in Suho when they were close like this after making out. The comparison makes Sieun's stomach clench and for him to look away in distaste. 

"Yah...Sieun-ah look at me," he says in a pitchy tone but when Sieun doesn't, he grabs his chin and forces him. "Don't make me repeat myself again."

Sieun stays quiet, too busy trying to make sure he didn't stop breathing from how close Seongje was. His friends were affectionate but it never mirrored the kind he once received from Suho. It was different and friendly. Up close like this, Sieun could see Seongje's face clearly. Despite, his lunatic personality, Sieun could admit that Seongje was handsome. He instantly wants to kick himself for the observation, he hadn't had anyone this close to his face since Suho. The thought pours guilt in his gut like a teacup. Still, he returns the glance with hesitant eyes.

"Good boy," Seongje purrs and Sieun gasps as he slots their lips together. It was wrong, so he doesn't kiss back, lets Seongje do what he wants until he feels his tongue trying to press his mouth open. 

He knew Seongje wanted to have sex but he didn't count on kissing, or the conflicting feelings it would bring him. This...did feel like cheating. Maybe he couldn't do this after all. 

But then Seongje bites down hard on his bottom lip and as Sieun gasps, he shoves his tongue in his mouth with force. Sieun's arms go up, groping the front of Seongje's jacket, not pushing him away, just trying to brace himself. He tastes like cigarettes and the ramen he was eating, his tongue rolls with purpose, holding Sieun in place as he explores his mouth. His hand travels and settles on Sieun's lower back, under the hoodie and he hisses into the kiss when he feels Seongje's fingers on his bare skin. 

Seongje smiles into their lip lock. "Sensitive, huh?" He teases and kisses the oncoming glare off Sieun's face. His kisses are rough and pointed, not at all like the kisses he shared with Suho. The act itself wasn't awful but all the factors made him sick. 

The taller boy breaks away long enough to lead Sieun to the bed, where he shoves him down on his back before climbing on top of him. 

"Come on Sieun-ya, with more vigor," Seongje says as he resumes hot kisses on Sieun's jaw and neck. "It's not fun if you just lay here like a dead body." 

Although, it was somehow reassuring that Seongje isn't into necrophilia, he still can't force himself to be an active participant. His touch wasn't as disgusting as he imagined but it still felt wrong and like cheating and that's the part he can't bear. 

Seongje nibbles on his ears and hums, his body caging Sieun under him. "Come on, pretend I'm your little boyfriend in a coma." 

In an instant, Sieun's hands find Seongje's neck, tightening his grip, anger flaring up that the bastard had the audacity to even mention Suho. 

"Don't talk about him," Sieun says as steadily as he could. Seongje looks a little taken back before that fucking grin returns. 

"Then stop thinking about him." Seongje states with a strangely serious expression. "You're underneath me, so you're only allowed to think about me, got it newbie?" 

Sieun feels caught, his hands gradually fall from his neck. He doesn't know how Seongje knew he was thinking about Suho but as much as he hates to admit it, Seongje was right. He had to stop thinking about Suho. It was the only way he could get through this. He looks over Seongje who smelled of expensive cologne, cigarette smoke and a pinch of sweat. He was nothing like Suho and Sieun could use that to his advantage. 

"Just get on with it already," Sieun answers. 

Seongje grins at him again, taking off his track jacket, revealing his toned body. He rubs Sieun's thighs and reaches for his jeans. "Ah, You're a needy little thing, huh?"

"No I-hng!" Sieun covers his mouth. Seongje gets his pants down in one go, palming at his covered cock. He watches with shocked eyes as he's touched and felt up. It was the first time in a long time that he had been touched there and his thighs shook from the stimulation. 

"Incredible Sieun-ah. I barely touched your dick and you're already moaning like a slut. I wonder what kinds of sounds you'll make when I fuck you. Guess we'll find out soon enough," Seongje purrs, hooking his thumbs on Sieun's underwear and pulling them down his legs. 

Sieun's face burns as Seongje positions his head between his thighs, feeling exposed. He hisses when the taller boy leaves angry red marks on his flesh. He spreads his cheeks in his hand before spitting a wad of spit right on Sieun's exposed taint. He observes his face as Seongje licks and suckles around his hole, making it wet with his saliva. 

It was disgusting and messy, lacked class but Seongje wore a blissed out expression, like there was no other way in the world he would rather be. His eyes are half closed but he's watching Sieun closely. He still has a hard time controlling his voice because despite himself, Seongje's tongue felt good on his nether regions. He wants to close his eyes, imagining it's someone else making him feel good but he can't risk thinking about him so he keeps his eyes on Seongje while he eats him out.

Seongje hums, his tongue passing Sieun's tightness inside. The shorter boy's jaw clenches, trying so hard not to show any signs of pleasure. His hand tugs on Seongje's hair to contain himself but it doesn't work well, each thrust of his tongue drives Sieun a little more insane. 

"Fuck, you're so reactive newbie. I make you feel that good, hm?" Seongje asks, his warm breath tickles Sieun's wet hole. 

Sieun doesn't respond and Seongje frowns, his eyes harden; it freaks Sieun out a little how easily the guy's mood could change out of seemingly nowhere. Then, Seongje replaces his tongue with two fingers, going knuckle deep. Sieun groans, it's pulled from his chest from the sudden insertion. 

The taller boy's smile returns. "That's better, don't hold back Sieun-ya. If you do, then this time won't count and we'll have to meet up and fuck again. I want to hear your pretty voice." 

Pretty.

Something undeniably wrong about that word on Seongje's lips especially in regards to Sieun but the latter doesn't have time to think about it. His face twists up as Seongje's long fingers work him open. It hurts, burns from the lack of prep but Sieun wouldn't complain. Even if it hurt a little, he didn't care, he just wanted this to be over. "H-hurry up ah-!" 

Seongje curls his fingers and a broken cry leaves Sieun's mouth. His gaze doesn't leave Sieun's, both locking eyes as he finger fucks the shorter boy open. "Aish...so impatient, but it can't be helped," Seongje uses his free hand to stroke Sieun's hard cock on his tummy. "Do you touch yourself here? You think about being filled up nice and deep, don't you?" 

Sieun doesn't entertain that with an answer, too busy focusing on his aroused spot being stimulated. It felt good and he clutched the bedding underneath him to ground himself. Sweat started to form on his forehead, causing his bangs to be sticky. He was warm all over. He wasn't supposed to like this, to want this. 

Seongje licks his lips. "It's obvious you do, you're clenching down my fingers so damn hard." He chuckles and slides a lone hand up under his hoodie, feeling Sieun up skin to skin. "Take this off and I'll give you what you need, newbie." 

Sieun wanted to shake his head, he didn't want to be fully naked, it made this feel more... intimate if they were both nude but he knew Seongje didn't care. He was on his terms so he lifts the bottom of the hoodie and pulls it up but it gets stuck around his head, tangled with the T-shirt he had underneath. He tries but fails to yank them both off and his cheeks burn when he hears a laugh from Seongje. 

"You're unexpectedly cute," he muses, amused and pulls his fingers free, Sieun gasping, and helps free the shorter boy from his hoodie prison. Seongje throws his tops to the floor, on a pile of clothes. His eyes and eager hands trail over Sieun's bare bust. "You're pretty like a girl newbie, how's this even possible?" He mutters.

Sieun tries to glare but really, he feels self conscious under the mad man's gaze. It had been so long since he was looked at, admired like this, called pretty. Despite who it was coming from, Sieun secretly likes the praise, it gives into the illusion that they're lovers and that Seongje didn't just view this as a sexual transaction. 

It was ridiculous, pathetic even. 

But Sieun missed the feeling of being adored by someone. He had forgotten how nice it was to be touched.

Seongje's thumbs brush against his nipples, pinches them, leans over, latches his mouth around one and suckles. His tongue lays flat against the nub and flicks until the nipple grows hard under his touch. He strokes Sieun's cock, rubbing the precum at the tip.

Sieun can barely hold on, close to feeling overwhelmed. Seongje played with his body like he knew just what to do to make Sieun's toes curl and chest tighten. He can't deny it, Seongje was skilled at this. 

"Hah, S-seongje..." He moans pitifully, even to his own ears but he can't stop. 

Seongje smirks like he's proud of the state he reduced Sieun to, but it's not his usual mocking smile, this one holds something similar to desire. He moves on to the next nipple, giving it the same treatment and Sieun keens. His back arches on his own, his body chasing after his release. He was so close. 

Everything was building and growing then suddenly... nothing. Sieun widens his eyes and whimpers when he realizes Seongje withdrew his touch from his body. He looks up at him and is met with Seongje's shit eating grin. He glares back at him red-faced.

"Don't be so selfish Sieun-ah, we're going to come together, okay?" Seongje laughs, unfastens his slacks while Sieun looks away, staring at the noticeable bulge. He swallows around nothing when his cock comes into view. He was big, thick and throbbing in Seongje's hand. Sieun takes an uneasy breath. He hasn't had sex in months, would it really fit?

Seongje spits on his hand and rubs his length in makeshift lube and prepares to line up, pressing his cock against the moist hole.  

"Aren't you going to use a condom?" Sieun asks and it was probably a stupid question, going off the way Seongje looks at him. 

"Aw, what's wrong? You don't trust me, newbie?" The taller boy questions and no Sieun didn't trust him. The maniac was a wild card, he was unpredictable.

"No." Sieun answers bluntly and Seongje pouts with mock sadness but it wasn't a lie. 

Seongje presses Sieun's thighs against his stomach, his breath warm on the shorter boy's already heated skin. 

“You let me get this far, Sieun-ya. You don't get to be so damn righteous,” He whispers as he shoves his cock forward with force. 

The air is knocked out of Sieun, he gasps as he tries to adjust to the full and stretch of his hole. It hurts and discomfort paints his face; he clutches the bedding with a death grip.

“Man, you're so tight. Are you sure you're not a virgin?" Seongje teases with a groan and he doesn't let up, fucking into Sieun once he finds a thrust he likes. 

Sieun is unable to focus on anything but the overwhelming feeling, causing him to squirm away. Seongje stares at him consideringly before tilting towards Sieun's pinkish neck. Sieun doesn't know what to expect but it wasn't Seongje to press gentle kisses there, a complete contrast from the way he was hammering into him. Seongje's lips were soft and it felt oddly personal for Sieun. He closes his eyes and soon the pain in his ass is reduced to a manageable dull ache, having attention on something else to calm him down. He blinks rapidly, his eyes wet with unshed tears but he knows it has nothing to do with the act they're committing.

Seongje smiles, seemingly pleased Sieun was no longer panting like he was dying but he leaves conflicting feelings for the latter. He thought Seongje just wanted to fuck him and be done with him but it's like the taller boy was going out of his way to make sure Sieun was finding pleasure from whatever this was too. He doesn't know what it means, a big part of him doesn't want to know, and he's almost thankful for Seongje's next thrust, switching his attention to his prostate. 

“Ah…S-seongje-ah,” He moans, arousal being pulled from him with every movement. 

He couldn't believe it.

He was having sex with Keum Seongje.

And he didn't hate it. 

Seongje hums, drops his legs in favor of holding Sieun's waist in a tight grip. The shorter boy's cock swung back and forth as the slapping of skin pervaded in the small room. Sieun would have been embarrassed if he wasn't taken over by wantonness. 

“If I knew you'd looked like this slutted out on my dick, I would have fucked you in that bathroom the first time we met,” Seongje mutters, licking his lips at Sieun. "I bet you'd let me too. You needed this, didn't you baby? To be taken care of?”

Baby.

Sieun keens, wants to tell Seongje he's wrong and that this was just a meaningless exchange but he doesn't know just how much of it would be the truth. His mind was mush, in Seongje's arms while his neverending pressure inside of his clenching hole kept touching him in places he mourned in his boyfriend's absence. Sieun, wrapping his arms around Seongje's neck and holding him close, stares at him with dark brown orbs so intensely that Seongje gulps.

Seongje appears serious for a moment and it almost scares Sieun how intent he was looking at him. He grabs Sieun's jaw, his blunt nails digging into his skin. “Sieun-ah, how's about I be your substitute boyfriend in the meantime? I'll fuck you so good so you'll never feel empty again." 

Sieun's lips part, his almond eyes moist and his hands tremble on Seongje's neck. Seongje said he wanted to pretend he was Suho and now he was proposing something that Sieun would never consider in his normal state. However, while the thought of it makes Sieun want to drown in guilt and kill Seongje for even suggesting it, it was better to pretend. Sieun could pretend that they're boyfriends and that they're just fucking and he could focus on the pleasure Seongje kept finding a way to push out of him.

He doesn't answer with words, rather he brings Seongje's head down and kisses him. He gives it back as roughly as the taller boy, trying to push all of his feelings and emotions he didn't have a name for into it so he wouldn't have to think about anything else. 

"S-seongje..." Sieun moans, unable to deny pleasure coursing through his body any longer. It felt good, so good to be wanted and held after so many nights he spent secretly yearning.

The taller boy growls like a wolf, his hands moving to Sieun's wrists, pinning him to the mattress as he slams into him fast. 

"That's it baby," Seongje purrs, his eyes trailing up and down Sieun's disheveled form. "Say my name again." 

Sieun's eyes are wet, lips swollen. "S-seongje," he whispers in a broken voice and the taller boy halts his movement for second; something similar to possessive takes over his face as he fucks him harder. He slams his hips into Sieun, loud skin slapping fills the smaller boy's eyes along with his own moans.

“I'm g-gonna-! Please!" Sieun pleas, the pull of his orgasm edging to the hilt.

“Come for your boyfriend Sieun-ya," Seongje commands against his lips and Sieun’s body arches off the mattress. A broken sob leaves his mouth, coming untouched between them, his vision whiting out as pleasure ripped through him. It leaves him shivering with after waves as Seongje shoves inside deep once more. He curses as he milks his release inside Sieun's giving hole. 

Sieun feels lulled for a moment, blissed as he's filled, and clings to Seongje for dear life. He wants to cry, wants to scream but instead he does nothing; lets Seongje pepper kisses and cradle his body like Sieun truly means something to him. He almost believes it. 

Soon, Sieun comes back to his senses after a few minutes and notices how the taller boy is still inside him. 

“P-pull out," he says, lacking conviction; his voice weak from the sounds he was making. 

“Sieun-ya,” Seongje chimes, ignoring him, a lazy smile on his face in favor of playing with his bangs.

Sieun flinches away. The volley of his actions was crumbling down on him, making him too self aware. He let Seongje fuck him and worst of all he liked it. He cheated on Suho. He feels sick, like he's going to throw up and he pushes at Seongje who doesn't bulge over him. So he uses both hands and his legs to kick at him. He needed to get away from him. He needed to leave and see Suho and apologize and- 

“Hey Sieun-ah, relax," Seongje says, his hands pin Sieun's wrists while one roll of his hips, has the latter halting the movement in his legs. “You need to relax, you did nothing wrong baby.” His voice is a little softer and Sieun realizes he said all of his inner thoughts out loud. He wants to cry.

“I have to go." Sieun states as clearly as he can but his voice still wavers. “I…fulfilled my part of our agreement so let me go." He's avoiding Seongje's eyes, he doesn't know why but he can't meet them. 

“Yeah you did," Seongje cups Sieun's chin, strokes the side of his face with his thumb. Sieun loathes the way he likes it. "But I don't think you want to leave.” 

"I do-”

"You don't and you won't.” 

At that, Sieun looks at him and Seongje looks serious, his eyes don't have the usual playful glint there, instead the possessive dark gaze was back and it looms over Sieun like a dark cloud. “You need me Sieun-ah. Who else is gonna fuck you the way you need in the meantime?" 

Sieun's mouth opens and close a few times, completely flabbergasted by Seongje's words. What he said during sex about being his substitute boyfriend wasn't just sex talk. "...So you were serious.”

Seongje tilts his head. "Why would I joke about such an important matter? I want to make you feel good, Sieun-ah.” He kisses him suddenly and Sieun gasps into it, the fight in his body going dormant. He kisses back despite himself, their tongues roll and Sieun feels Seongje's cock twitch inside of him when he bites on his lip.

“Seongje-ah…this is wrong,” Sieun says but doesn't stop the taller boy as he wraps his legs around his waist. “I can't…” Do this to Suho. 

“But you already are Sieun-ya,” Seongje claims and pulls out a little just to slam back in Sieun's messy tight walls. “So why stop now?"  

As Seongje fucks him a second time, Sieun swallows the guilt stuck in his throat. His worried thoughts are knocked away with each pointed thrust so he lets his inhibitions go; holds on to Seongje's arms.

He justifies it as relief in the moment but one glance at Seongje makes it clear, it's not that simple. 

Still, he ignores it. 

Chapter Text

"Sieun-ah, are you listening?" 

Sieun blinks and looks up to find Juntae meeting his eyes with curiosity. 

"I'm sorry," he says, once he realizes he's been staring off at his lunch for the past few minutes. 

Juntae smiles. "It's okay. I was just talking about what we should do this weekend. Gotak said he knew a place that has laser tag and I thought it would be fun. Unless you don't want to?"

Sieun shakes his head. "No, that sounds fine." He sighs, after the showdown with the Union that resulted in Eunjang's victory, everyone was able to breathe a little easier without having to worry about being hassled. Baekjin had gone silent and the bowling alley was permanently closed, the Union seemingly dissolved.

Sieun was free to enjoy his time with his friends in peace and he cherished every moment of it. Perhaps, that's why he feels more guilty than necessary for ignoring Juntae. 

"Oh good. Say Sieun-ah, what were you thinking about?" Juntae inquiries then quickly adds. "Only because you looked like you were in deep thought. I almost didn't want to disturb you." 

"It was nothing," Sieun says hastily, trying to go for nonchalant but Juntae still looks like he is trying to figure him out. 

Before Juntae could ask a follow-up, Baku and Gotak sat next to them, already engaged in their own conversation. 

Baku drops cans of juice on the table, grinning. "Look at this! I thought the vending machine ate my coins but then it popped out four cans instead of one!" He says proudly. 

"Yah, that's only because I kicked it for you," Gotak points out. 

"Still, you shouldn't damage public property Gotak-ya, are you a delinquent or something?" 

"You were punching it too idiot, you don't get to take the higher ground!" 

Baku rolled his eyes and rubbed a hand through Gotak's hair who swatted his hand away. "This kid..." He mutters then claps his hands together. "Sieun-ah and Juntae-ah, enjoy the plunders of our hard work!"  

Baku and Gotak settle in and Sieun sips on the fruity drink. He finds himself smiling listening to the two bicker over literally nothing while Juntae is just as amused laughing at their antics. 

This was nice.

"Sieun-ah said he wanted to play laser tag too," Juntae mentions to the other two once another of their meaningless arguments ends. 

"Oh really? That's incredible. No offense Sieun-ah but I didn't take you for someone who likes that kind of stuff." Gotak says with big eyes. 

Baku throws an arm around Sieun's shoulders. "Ah, don't sell Sieun-ah short! He has great uh... what's the word...logic..no.." His eyebrows furrowed together in thought. 

"Perception?" Juntae helpfully suggests and Baku nods with a point.

"Yes! Perception! I bet he'll kick your ass at laser tag for underestimating him, isn't that right Sieun-ah?" He exclaimed. 

"I've never played before," Sieun answers. 

"Ah, of course a study addict like you hasn't but I know you'll be really good at it." Baku compliments, playfully shaking his shoulder.

"I agree, I think you'd do really well, Sieun-ya." Juntae adds. 

"I think Sieun would do good too, I was just surprised. You should be on my team then," Gotak says with an easy smile, reaching for Sieun's hands. 

His friends continue to chat while Sieun joins in occasionally.

Despite his best attempts, his mind was clouded by one Keum Seongje.

.

"Sieun-ya, do you want to come to Juntae's house with us? He wants to show us a sports anime he likes." Baku asks when they're outside the school gates.

"I know you probably don't watch anime but, I think you'll really like this one." Juntae says hopefully.

Sieun wanted to, it sounded entertaining but he really was busy after this. 

"I have cram school," Sieun answers and when his friends look a little dejected he says. "We can watch it together tomorrow." 

"We're holding you to that then," Baku says and rubs Sieun's head with a smile. 

They part ways and Sieun goes to cram school. He concentrates well enough and takes notes. When it came to learning, he was pretty good at blocking out his thoughts and focusing on the material at hand. He was grateful for the solitude from his endless thoughts involving Seongje and Suho even for a few hours.

Class ends faster than Sieun expected and he gathers his belongings and finds it is raining outside. It's not a complete downpour but enough that Sieun would definitely be soaked by the time he got home. He sighs, having forgotten his umbrella at home. He sighs, watching the waves of students scatter away from the school until he's the only one still there. He decides to wait it out so he beelines to the bench with a covering, only getting a little wet. He checks the bus schedule but it's delayed because of the rainfall. The rain was picking up instead of slowing down and Sieun debates just running to the bus stop but quickly dismisses it. He'd probably catch a cold and the last thing he needed was to be sick. Sieun is about to call Baku to see if he's around when he sees someone walking towards him holding an umbrella. 

The person grins and Sieun recognizes him. It's Seongje. Seongje is hovering over him, hand in pocket while the other holds a deep red umbrella.

"What are you doing here?" Sieun asks, looking up at him. 

Seongje laughs. "Didn't you get my text?" He pulls Sieun to his side until he's safely under the umbrella and sandwiches next to him. "I wanted to see you. It looks like you need me anyway." 

"I needed the umbrella," Sieun counters but he walks side by side with Seongje down the wet pavement. 

"And you got me as a bonus, aren't you so lucky?" Seongje chimes. 

Sieun is met with his grin and sighs. Despite himself, a smile wanted to pull at his lips but he fought it off. It was a nice gesture and he was always shockingly pleased by Seongje's random acts of kindness. "Thank you." 

Seongje grins further, his hand squeezes Sieun's hip. "You can show me how appreciative you are." He whispers and Sieun shivers, should have expected that. 

He doesn't say anything else, allows Seongje to rest a hand on his back as he leads them expectantly to his apartment.

He didn't tell his friends about the arrangement he had with Seongje or about the deal they made. It wasn't that he didn't trust his friends, he just didn't want them to worry about him. It would be better if they didn't. Sieun still felt guilty for not telling them though, they weren't supposed to have secrets but if he was being completely honest, he was still a little ashamed of himself. He didn't want his friends to think less of him too if they knew he was sex friends with their once enemy, Keum Seongje.

Sieun knows the way to Seongje's apartment well from the handful of times he's been there. They only ever hook up there, a silent agreement between them. It was better that way, it allowed Sieun to give up control while Seongje seemed content that Sieun gave him control. Besides, Sieun didn't want to bring Seongje to his own apartment where his friends visit. It felt out of place and if he could keep the two worlds separate, Sieun would.

He had to or he'd go insane.

.

"Ah...ah... Seongje," Sieun whines, the taller boy strokes his arousal. 

Seongje smiles, his hum of voice in Sieun's ear. "Hm, my name sounds so hot coming from your mouth." His hand travels lower, playing temporarily with Sieun's balls before going lower and Sieun keens when he brushes against his hole but then he pulls away and Sieun mourns the taboo touch until Seongje taps his fingers against Sieun's lips.

"Suck them." Seongje says and he's looking at Sieun with that same hungry gaze. It had a way of making Sieun feel helpless, completely giving himself up to Seongje and pleasure. It came as almost second nature now to obey as he opened his mouth for him. Seongje shoves them past his lips and Sieun clamps down hard around his fingers, sucking as instructed while rolling his tongue. 

Sieun was glassy-eyed, spit leaking out around Sieun's fingers in his mouth and dripping down his chin. He didn't understand it, how could Seongje make him a mess with his touches like this, like he knew his body, like he was... 

Seongje licks his bottom lip and abruptly pulls his spit slick fingers from Sieun's mouth. Sieun gasps, his legs close right around Seongje's hand as two blunt digits push their way into his hole. "W-wait.." 

"You can take it," Seongje says simply and fingers him roughly, one purpose in mind. He pushes Sieun's thighs apart for better leverage. Sieun holds his shoulders for support and has the air punched out of him when Seongje finds his arousal. Seongje chuckles darkly into his ear. "There you go baby." 

Sieun stares, watching Seongje's work his fingers in and out of his hole, it burned even with his saliva but he couldn't complain when Seongje's fingers were playing his body like a fucking piano. 

Seongje twisted his fingers upwards and made Sieun give a full-body shudder off the bed. "P-please..." He pants. 

Seongje plays dumb, tilting his head and his talented fingers. "Please what Sieun-ah? What do you need?" The shorter boy really was so goddamn beautiful like this to Seongje; flushed, needy, hair sticky with sweat. Wrecking him like that, tearing down that cool composure and getting him so hot and bothered… It was the best sight Seongje ever witnessed.

Sieun might actually cry, knows it would only turn Seongje on more, knows he liked seeing him weak and needy. That's exactly what he was right now, naked on Seongje's bed with his legs open as he is fingered by the boy on top of him. His cock is hard and leaking in his stomach, his hole clenching down the digits penetrating him. It was because of the state of mind that Seongje never failed to reduce Sieun to that makes his next words come so easily.

"You, I want you inside of me," Sieun utters and Seongje looks elated, his fingers stop movement instantly, waiting for something else and Sieun knows. "Seongje-ah please." 

The taller boy growls, and attacks Sieun's lips like a madman, nothing but desperation and lust driving the liplock. Sieun didn't know why but Seongje always liked it when he said his name and he wasn't against saying it, especially getting what they both wanted. 

While Sieun is distracted, Seongje pulls his fingers free and positions himself between Sieun's legs. He breaks the liplock to reach over, pouring lube on throbbing his dick and rubbing it in. Sieun swallows, it still kind of amazed him that Seongje's thick cock could fit inside him. He idly wondered if it could fit in his mouth too. 

Seongje doesn't wait, his hands grab Sieun by his hips and shift him closer to his tip then thrust forward in one rushed thrust. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight, just for me." 

Sieun lets out a cry, mouth dropping open and head pushing back into the pillow. He doesn't know if he'll ever get used to the full feeling Seongje's cock gave him but it was addicting. He thinks he would cry if Seongje were to pull out right now. As a safety measure in his own mind, he hooks his legs around Seongje's hips and his nails dig into his biceps as he's fucked within a inch of life.

"I think I like you best when you look like this. So desperate and cute under me. Where you belong, you're mine." Seongje says, his words and the nasty sound their bodies are making has Sieun's eyes rolling. He feels so wrong but so right.

Seongje fucked him like he was trying to claim his body for his own, his movements feral and his gaze almost terrifying from how much was behind those dark eyes. Sieun was helpless to do anything else but endure it and he was enjoying every second. 

"Your body was made for me, you fit under my hands like a glove. It must be fate, right?" Seongje says, his grip was brutalizing, Sieun would be red with his hand prints afterwards.

Sieun whimpered, hips jumping to meet his thrusts, lost in his need. His cock was an angry red, leaking over his stomach. Sieun could have reached for it, but he couldn’t spare a hand with his wrapped tightly around Seongje's neck, keeping him close. Also because he knew Seongje liked it best when he came untouched and Sieun had faith that the taller boy would get him there.

Seongje became more erratic, moving his hips sloppier. His glasses slip lower and Sieun almost thinks they're gonna fall on him until Seongje grabs them, tosses them on the floor and runs his hand through his hair, panting and Sieun watches him, can't deny that Seongje looks incredibly hot. His cock twitches more. 

"Seongje-ah, I'm close," he warns, the constant pressure to his prostate has his mind and his cock reaching his peak.

"Come on my cock," Seongje commands, still fucking Sieun without a care. "I know you can, baby." 

It takes exactly two strokes before Sieun was arching up, crying out clenching down hard on Seongje's cock, shooting come on both of their chests.

"Good boy," Seongje said, and before Sieun can finished coming, he is being bent practically in half while Seongje fucked into him animalistic. Soon enough, he succumbs to the tight clutch of him, curses as he spills his seed deep inside him.

Sieun wasn’t crying, but his eyes were shiny-wet and as Seongje sucked a kiss on his collarbone, one lone tear slipped free and trickled down his cheek.

Seongje notices that too, licking the salty trail off his skin before returning to litter kisses and love bites on his neck and corner of his lips while Sieun panted breathlessly into the space between them. His chest was heaving, still pinkish.

.

"Stay the night." Seongje says when Sieun comes back from showering. He looks up from buttoning his shirt to see Seongje watching him still lounging on the bed, in his boxers, his glasses back on his face. 

"I have to get home. The rain stopped and it's getting late."  

Seongje rolls his eyes. "Aish, I don't really feel like your boyfriend if you leave right after we fuck, makes me feel used." He teases and Sieun tenses. 

"You're only my boyfriend when we're intimate. Otherwise, we're strangers." Sieun counters and reaches for his slacks. 

Seongje sucked his teeth, evidence that he didn't like that answer and Sieun was yanked backwards, back on the bed. "A stranger doesn't make you come untouched on dick Sieun-ah." His hand plays at the flesh on Sieun's hips. "You should be more respectful to our relationship." 

Relationship. 

It sounded weird coming from Seongje's mouth so he shoves the taller boy away and the time Seongje doesn't fight him. As Sieun is almost dressed, Seongje lights a cigarette. 

"Let's go out tomorrow." He says and Sieun looks at him once more. He doesn't know what his intentions are but Seongje looks serious. Either way, Sieun has plans. 

"I can't. I'm meeting my friends tomorrow." 

Seongje chuckles. "Oh right, those guys. Do you ever not hang out with them?" 

Sieun internally rolls his eyes, of course Seongje wouldn't understand what it was like to have friends, to have people who genuinely want to hang out with him. "I'm here with you." He answers and he's taken aback when Seongje's wolfish gaze darkens on him. 

He gets up from the bed, grabs Sieun's jaw and kisses him with meaning. "Come on baby, one more round," he mutters against Sieun's lips and Sieun almost wants to say yes but it was late. His mother would question him and he's never in the mood for that. 

"I can't. I'm going to be late." 

Seongje curses and uses what appears to be all his strength to not carry Sieun back to his bed.

"Alright, I'll let you go this time," Seongje smiles and Sieun can see his dimples clearly from how close they were. "Give me a kiss goodbye." 

Sieun actually rolls his eyes this time but he leans upwards and connects their lips briefly. 

"Bye." Sieun says and turns swiftly before Seongje could see the blush forming on his face and did something insane like tie him to the bed so he couldn't leave. Sometimes he worries about him. 

He gets home and once he's showered and dressed in bed, he pulls his phone out and begins his nightly routine of texting Suho about his day. Of course he leaves out any mention of Seongje, still guilt ridden about it but Sieun figured it was best to lift the burden, continuing to keep Suho in his life and involved.

. 

Sieun meets up with Juntae and they meet Baku and Gotak at the location of the arcade. They play laser tag in pairs, Sieun and Gotak (he called dibs) vs Baku and Juntae and the latter team won despite a good fight. It's fun and light-hearted and Sieun catches himself smiling more than once. Afterwards, they go to a restaurant, (not Baku's dad's place, he said no more freeloading) and while they're looking through the menu, Sieun's phone vibrates.

He pulls it out and checks. It's a text from Seongje.

Seongje: 

i c u

Sieun looks around then and his stomach drops when he spots Seongje outside of the place, grinning like a maniac. He doesn't have a chance to do anything to stop the inevitable and panics as Seongje strolls in and up to their table. He stares at Sieun, ignoring his friends' confused stares. "Hey Sieun-ya." 

"Seongje, what are you doing here?"

"You better not start a fight here!"

"Why are you talking to Sieun-ya?" 

"What? I can't say hi to my close friend Sieun?

His friends jump to his defense and while he appreciates it, there's only one way to solve this.

"Seongje." Sieun says and everyone stops talking and looks at him. "Let's go talk." 

Seongje looks satisfied while his friends appear worried. Sieun gets up to follow Seongje but Baku holds his wrist, an considered look. "Sieun-ya, are you okay? That bastard is not giving you trouble is he?" 

Sieun shrugs out of Baku's hold with a head shake. "I'm fine. I'll explain when I get back." 

He follows after Seongje, hearing Juntae call out, "Be careful, Sieun-ah."

"What are you doing here?" Sieun asks once they're positioned in an alley on the side of the restaurant. 

Seongje scoffs, coming closer. "What? Am I not allowed to see what my boyfriend is up to?" 

Sieun looks up at him with dull eyes refusing to even acknowledge the boyfriend word. "Are you stalking me?" Seongje laughs then. 

"No, I'm coming back from the gaming hall and I just so happened to see you. Must be fate, right?" He reaches for Sieun who grabs his wrist to stop him. He wished Seongje would stop with the whole fate thing.

"You can't be here. My friends don't know about you." 

"Then why don't I join you? Then we can all be best friends, huh?" He says and Sieun can't figure out what he's playing at. Either way, the last thing he needs is for them to be around Seongje, who is unpredictable and might slip up and say something damning in front of his friends, causing more havoc. 

"Leave Seongje. I'll...text you later." 

Seongje's shoulders relax and he smiles. "You better." He warns and looks both ways before claiming Sieun's lips in a hurried kiss. " Later newbie." He says and walks off, leaving Sieun confused and with more questions than answers.

When he gets back, he is bombarded with questions from Baku and Gotak.

"Is he threatening you? I'll kill him."

"What does he have on you, Sieun-ya? We can help you." 

Sieun sighs and sits back down. "No."

"Then why was he over here? What did he want?" Juntae asks. 

"We're...kind of friends." Sieun answers, rather lamely and his actual friends look unconvinced. He sighs again. "He isn't that bad. He did help Juntae and with taking down the union. Seongje even shared his umbrella with me during a rainy evening after cram school." It wasn't a lie, Seongje has done good for them, for him and Sieun is a little shocked he didn't have to exaggerate the truth. 

Once hearing that his friends relax. "Okay, just tell us if anything happens, you know you can rely on us for anything." Baku says, a hand on Sieun's shoulder and Sieun nods, going back to look at a menu. Sieun is just glad it was dropped. He was annoyed that Seongje would show up here and reveal his relation to his friends. 

"Ah, maybe Seongje doesn't have friends..." Juntae ponders. 

"That's because he beats everyone up." Gotak says. 

"But Sieun-ah says he's not so bad now. Maybe he's changed for the better." Baku counters.

"Should we invite him to hangout with us too?" 

"Well, he is Sieun's friend so it's really up to him." 

Sieun doesn't realize they're staring at him waiting for his verdict until he looks up from his menu. His friends are so kind hearted, and held his word to a high standard but Sieun didn't want that. He was firm in his conclusion to keep both of these things in his life separate. 

"I like it when it's just us," Sieun says and that seemingly deads the conversation. 

Sieun picks at his food when it comes out, he's not quite hungry anymore.

That night, his phone vibrated again. He looks up from his homework to check.

Seongje:

come over.

Sieun sighs, of course it was Seongje. It wouldn't be the first time he asked Sieun to sneak out and once or twice, when Sieun was extra desperate for touch, he had indulged him. He couldn't tonight though, locked into study mode. He had slightly fallen behind because he had been so busy but tonight was his catch up night and he didn't plan to stop for Seongje.

Sieun:

I can't. I have to study. 

He puts the phone down and immediately gets a notification back. He gazed at it.

Seongje:

You're no fun.

Another vibration.

Seongje:

Can't stop thinking of you

Sieun's heart flutters at that. 

He didn't understand it, Seongje had been way more clingy lately. If Sieun didn't know him, he'd guess that the taller boy had some sort of infatuation with him but that didn't make sense. Having a solely sexual relationship shouldn't prompt such reactions. Unless he was just playing with Sieun again, yet something told him that wasn't the case. Could it really be possible for a mad man like Seongje to have feelings for him that weren't entirely sexual? Sieun doesn't know, isn't sure he wants to. Things were already so complicated but Seongje liking him, seems like a death sentence. Seongje was unhinged, Sieun couldn't guess his next move, He didn't know what he'd do and that scared him. 

He texts back. 

Sieun:

Go to bed.

Seongje is typing...

Seongje:

I'm in bed, jerking off to the memory of the face you make when you come.

Sieun swallows. 

Sieun:

Don't be crass. Good night. 

He mutes notifications, and ignores the deep rooted urge to put his sneakers on and meet Seongje. He sighs into his arms. What did this say about him? He likes Seongje or more so the way the latter made him feel enough to continue this relationship but romantically? He wasn't single, he had strong ties to Suho and he wouldn't, refusing to put anything or anyone before that at the end of the day.

He forces himself to finish his homework and goes to sleep. He dreams of glasses and wicked smiles.

.

The next day, Sieun gets up and takes the bus to the hospital to visit Suho. He was making great progress, the nurses said he was doing well. His vitals were steady and the nurse told him, a few weeks prior, that talking to Suho even though he's in a coma can help awaken his brain and eventually, hopefully his eyes. So Sieun started telling him in person about his days too, once a week. The head nurse also mentioned that he can squeeze hands sometimes. He squeezed Sieun's every time Sieun held his hand and that made Sieun's heart swoon. Suho still felt his presence, and still knew who he was. 

He gets to the hospital and greets the front desk nurse who hands him the sign in sheet. Immediately he freezes, upon looking at the paper. In black ink he read:

Room - Name - Relation 

3203 - Keum Seongje - Friend 

He reads it again and again and again but it doesn't fully register until the nurse speaks up.

"That's great for Suho-ssi. Two friends visiting in one day. He's so lucky to have you. Although, today is the first time I've seen the other boy." She ponders casually. 

That gets Sieun's attention and he hastily signs in and walks quickly down the hallway. His mind races, was Seongje really here? Why was he here? His blood rushes, remembering how Seongje came here before in an attempt to threaten him. Would he really try to hurt Suho? Sieun would kill him if he touched him. It didn't make sense, he hoped that the nurse was mistaken but it was unlikely. He gets to Suho's door and opens and his blood turns cold when he sees Seongje standing next to Suho's hospital bed with his hands in his pocket. He walks over and grabs him roughly by his track jacket.

"What are you doing here?" He grunts out.

Seongje laughs breathlessly. "You didn't answer my text this morning and I figured you'd be here and low and behold here you are." He spreads his arms in emphasis. 

Sieun's eyebrows furrowed together temporarily, he hadn't checked his phone. It was still turned off after last night but that was beside the point. This crossed a line and Sieun wanted to drop kick Seongje, peddle punches at him until he's unrecognizable. But he can't. Suho is here and they're in a hospital. And he already knows Seongje won't leave. It's all a game to him anyway. So he drops his hands, swallows his urge to attack him and instead uses his words. "You don't belong here. You need to leave." 

Seongje raises an eyebrow, pointing to his own visitor's pass. "Why? Check the sign in sheet, I'm Suho's friend, just like you. I have every right to be here." He peers over at Suho who is peacefully in his bed, breathing steadily. "So...this is him. The great Ahn Suho. He's kind of tall, is that your type Sieun-ah? 

Sieun gets more annoyed, Seongje doesn't deserve to look at Suho; especially not in his most vulnerable state. He reaches for Seongje but the latter just uses it as a chance to pull the shorter boy close to his chest in a tight hold. 

"Let go." He utters, he can smell Seongje's cologne, it smelled strangely suffocating in the small hospital room. 

Seongje hums. "Why not? We can't hug in front of your little boyfriend? I don't think he minds, and even if he did, there's nothing he can do about it." 

"Shut up." Sieun grunts, trying to pull out of Seongje's held in a non volatile way that didn't include them brawling in the hospital room. "Just leave." 

"He's the reason, you ignored my text, isn't it? You just had to run to him and confess your sins to him even though there's nothing he can do for you..." Seongje mutters, little disbelief. "He can't even breathe or eat on his own but you still choose him...every fucking time." 

Sieun looks at him and is met with possessive eyes. He holds Sieun tighter, his hand finding his jaw. "All he has to do is lay there and you worship him...aish it's not fair..."

Seongje being jealous over Suho didn't make sense to Sieun. At first, he thought it was just a part of the game he was playing with Sieun but recently, like now, he seemed to genuinely see Suho as a rival, a love rival and Sieun doesn't like what that meant. 

"He's...my boyfriend," Sieun answers, though it sounds weak to his own ears.

Seongje looks angry, the way his jaw clenches and narrows on Sieun. He's almost scared. Instead, Seongje gently kisses him and Sieun whimpers, trying to pull away, they can't do this in front of Suho. But Seongje doesn't let up, bits Sieun's lip and deepens the kiss. 

"Wrong. How can he be your boyfriend if all he does is lay there all day and night?" Seongje gropes his hips under his hoodie, while his other hand cradles his head like he's a valuable thing. Sieun's eyes burn. 

"S-stop..." 

"Does he kiss you, take care of you, fuck you like you deserve? No, that would be me." Seongje hums. "I think he's the pretend boyfriend and I'm the real one, yeah?" 

Sieun wants to shove him away, telling him to shut up. Make him leave but he doesn't, because behind Seongje's cruel words, there was truth. Suho, his Suho, was confined to a bed, relying on a machine to breathe. They never got to enjoy the perks of dating correctly. It was ripped from them unfairly. The memories, his precious memories were just that, memories. Suho couldn't touch him like he used to, hold him in his arms, talk to him. It's sobering in the worst way, his stomach hurts and he sniffles, fighting away the tears that threaten to fall down his cheeks. 

"Fuck, you look so fucking pretty like this," Seongje swears, and Sieun feels small in his arms, smaller than usual. He felt drained and weak and Seongje. Seongje feels right.

His back is to the hospital bed as his hands hold Seongje's neck and reconnects their lips. It calms him and he clings to the taller boy, wanting to lose himself in Seongje's touch and forget all the culpable feelings his words were giving him. 

Seongje growls in the kiss, biting Sieun's bottom lip. 

.

It happens so fast, Sieun can barely keep up. One second, Seongje's tongue is down his throat, then the next, Sieun bent over the visitor chair with his ass in the air. He thinks he's going crazy, must be, to let Seongje do this, in Suho's hospital room. He's facing Suho's bed, half leaning over it as Seongje fucks into him, in shallow thrusts. Sieun knows it's his way of letting him get used to his length, the rushed spit wet fingers not doing nearly enough. Sieun still burns inside and out. 

Seongje hums, his fingertips rubbing circles into Sieun's skin, it's almost passionate if not for what they were doing. Sieun weighs his head down on the hospital sheet, and can't look at Suho, not in this state or ever again at this rate. Seongje chuckles lightly but Sieun hears him anyway and whines when he picks up speed. 

"S-seongje-ya..." His head is feverish, feeling every inch of Seongje, the blunt head sending sparks down his spine with each movement.

The taller boy chuckles. "Sieun-ya...you're so rude. Don't leave Suho out, hold his hand," Seongje says and reaches forward to intertwine Sieun's hand with Suho's dormant one. Sieun whines, his heart pounding, Suho's palm was so warm and it's so comforting in the worst way. "Fuck, you're squeezing me so hard. You're a little pervert Sieun-ah." 

He answers with a rasped moan, he was, had to be to let this happen but he doesn't want to stop. In a twisted way, this is the closest he's felt to Suho since the accident and his thoughts are hazy. He wants, wants, needs. 

Seongje goes faster; grabbing Sieun's free hand and pinning it to his lower back, fucking him thoroughly. The only thing keeping Sieun balanced with Seongje's grip and his hand on Suho. 

Sieun gives up trying to be quiet, his eyes are close to rolling from the amount of pleasure that is coursing through his body. His pants and moans are loud in the small hospital room, over shining the steady beeping of the machine keeping Suho alive. 

"What would your boyfriend think if he saw you like this? Bend over like a slut taking cock like a fucking pro while he's in comatose? Do you think he would still want you? But then again, he's probably a freak like you too. Probably would get off on it." Seongje's tone is taunting and Sieun knows he's smiling, knows he likes having Sieun in such a compromising position. 

"N-no, he wouldn't..." Sieun forces himself to watch Suho's unmoving face. What would Suho think? He was terrified of Suho fluttering his eyes open and finding his boyfriend getting fucked by someone else. The fear of it, makes his cock twitch and he shudders. He's a pervert, a sick individual to want that. Maybe he really was as bad as Seongje...

"Bet he'd be so damn jealous," Seongje grunts. "That I'm fucking you while there's nothing he can do about it." 

"Stop, d-don't talk...about him," Sieun tries, his moist eyes on the sleeping boy, has a fleeting thought of kissing him, he had missed Suho so much.

A hard thrust has him gasping and turning to look at Seongje who's wearing that crazy look of possession on his features and Sieun shivers. 

"Aish, there you go again. Focus on me Sieun-ya." Seongje growls, pounding into the shorter boy with each punctuation of his words. 

Sieun thinks he's going crazy, gasping as his cock is leaking, untouched between his legs. He's going to come, can feel it approaching quicker and quicker; just a little more and he could. He unintentionally holds Suho's tighter, bracing himself for his release. 

That's when he feels it. 

The light, but the firm press of Suho's hand. 

Suho squeezed his hand back.

Sieun unravels then, he heaves with a sob, coming harder than he ever had before. His back involuntarily arches and Seongje isn't far behind. He groans and comes balls deep in Sieun's twitching hole. 

Seongje temporarily leans over him, kissing at his neck, his tongue licking up the built up of sweat there. "That's it baby, come on my cock." He mutters slowly and Sieun shuts his eyes, can't focus on anything but the squeeze and the come being pumped deep in his gut. 

When Sieun opens his eyes again, two tears roll down his cheeks. His senses kick back in and he immediately feels overwhelmed and wants the ground to swallow him whole. Instead he feels the graze of Seongje's teeth on his neck. 

"S-seongje," Sieun sobs. "S-stop." 

Seongje ignores him, instead pulls out, his white release slowly seeping out Sieun's used hole. He then grabs the unsteady Sieun and sits him in his lap in another guest seat, ultimately pulling Sieun's hand from Suho's. Sieun whimpers, tries pushing him away. 

"I said, stop it!" Sieun snaps, breathing hard. 

Seongje scoffs and smirks, "Come on, don't be like that. Suho-ah just knows who you really belong to now." He says, reaching for Sieun but he pushes him away, pulling up his pants with shaky hands. 

"Get out." Sieun croaks. 

Seongje shrugs, that shit eating grin still on his face like nothing mattered and that was downright insulting to Sieun. He adjusts his own clothing then runs a quick hand through his hair. His hands return to his pockets.

"Ah, you're no fun like this. Later. I'll text you." Seongje says and just before the door shuts, he adds, "Sweet dreams Suho-ah." 

Sieun sank into the chair and sat as close to Suho as possible. His legs feel like jelly and his ass is still wet from Seongje's release but there was no way he would move to do anything about it. His eyes were glued to Suho's face, his perfectly calm face. Suho had squeezed his hand, did he know what Sieun had done somehow? What was he doing? He feels sick, utterly disgusted with himself; he lays his head on Suho's chest and finds solace in listening to his heart beat.

He doesn't dare reach for Suho's hand again.

.

Sieun was smart, he was good at breaking down an equation and solving it step by step. He had educators praise his hard work and the articulate way he came to his correct answers. There was always a straightforward way to get to a solution and Sieun strived at it.

Dealing with his own feelings wasn't as simple. Sieun used to just avoid his feelings, burying himself into studies so he wouldn't have to think about the things that made him sad like his parents fighting about him or the way other kids would pick on him for being different. He learned to turn himself into an emotionless robot and it was easier for him and everyone else. 

As of recently though, that wasn't the case. It was harder, nearly impossible to calm his racing thoughts. He had ignored Seongje's attempts at texts for the next few days, and could hardly bear the thought of him, yet he couldn't stop thinking about him or his intentions. Seongje was one equation, Sieun couldn't figure out no matter how hard he tried. He didn't understand why Seongje did anything he did. It all left Sieun so confused. If he wanted to humiliate Sieun was one thing but the words he said didn't match the logic, so what was the point? Of any of it? Why did Seongje even bother with him in the first place if he wasn't playing a game? 

Sieun didn't get it but he refused to seek Seongje out; instead hanging out with his friends and catching up studies. He still texts Suho's phone every day and visits him as often as he can even though the guilt of what he allowed to happen still eats away little by little. He wouldn't let Seongje ruin the sanctuary that was Suho's room.

Seongje eventually stops texting and Sieun thinks he finally got bored of him since he wasn't taking the bait anymore. That is until he sees Seongje smoking a cigarette, outside of his usual gamer hangout. He appears focused, eyes zoned into the events happening on his phone screen. Sieun watches him for a moment, Seongje would play some kind of card rpg game after they hooked up sometimes and he guesses that's the one that was currently holding his attention. He could keep walking, could just go home and busy himself with studying as usual. Yet, something was pulling him towards the taller boy, he didn't know what but his legs moved on their own. 

He finds himself standing on the side of Seongje who seemingly hasn't noticed him. "Seongje-ah."

The taller boy, beams temporarily at the screen and Sieun sees his dimples, that makes Seongje look almost innocent. He surprises himself so much his stomach jumps when Seongje returns his gaze, the smiling into a practiced scowl. 

"Yeon Sieun? Where did you come from?" Seongje asks and shoves his screen in the other boy's vision. "I just unlocked an ultra rare card. Are you my lucky charm?" 

Sieun squints at the screen, not knowing at all what he was supposed to be looking at an Seongje smirks like he's trying not to laugh.

"Looking stupid is a cute look on you." Seongje muses and puts his phone in his pocket before facing Sieun. "So, what do I owe the pleasure?" 

Seongje's nonchalant behavior was surprising, Sieun expected him to be a little bit bothered from being ignored but he was behaving like it meant nothing to him. That alone bothered Sieun more than he'd like to admit but he pushed it to the side. 

"We need to talk." 

Chapter Text

Sieun wordlessly watches Seongje as he lights a cigarette. The latter does it with practice hands, like it was second nature for him. He idly wonders when Seongje had started smoking, wondered if it came naturally or a habit that he developed because of mixed company. He really didn't know, Seongje never talked about himself or his family that much, aside from the occasional times he would talk about a game Sieun never played. He didn't know why Seongje lived alone or how he had an apartment to himself as a student and he never asked. Seongje didn't know anything about him either, not really. It served as a reminder of what kind of relationship they really had; they were sex friends at best. He doesn't know why, but that doesn't settle his nerves at all. 

The smoke hits his nostrils and he wrinkles his nose at the scent. Seongje smiles, amused by Sieun's dislike for it and licks his bottom lip. He offers the cigarette to Sieun. "Want a puff?" 

Sieun looks at the burning end of the cigarette and back at Seongje, perturbed that he had even asked him. "I don't know how to." He answers honestly. He never used recreational drugs or cigarettes as a means of a hobby nor did he ever find the need to. 

"I'll teach you." Seongje chuckles and he looks downright giddy at the prospect though Sieun couldn't understand why but he doesn't resist and nods. He guides the cig to the Sieun's unsure mouth. "Suck on it, just the tip." 

The way Seongje said it, made it sound much more lewd then necessary but Sieun obeys, leans forward and gently sucks on the cig stick. As soon as he tastes the smoke entering his body, he breaks away, coughing significantly. The irritating smoke burning his lungs and Sieun covers his mouth in his defense. He expects to hear Seongje's cruel laughter at his pathetic display but instead the other boy rests his large hand on his back, patting. Once he gets his bearings, he makes eye contact with Seongje whose face could only be described as endearing. Sieun's cheeks burn for a different reason.

"How was it?" Seongje asked like he didn't just see Sieun have a coughing fit. 

"I don't see what's so appealing about them to you," Sieun answers, a little hoarse as Seongje takes another drag. 

"No? That's because it was your first time, your body was getting used to it. Try one more time. Remember to pull back before it starts to burn."

Sieun really didn't want to but the way Seongje was encouraging him, made him want to try, and wanted to impress him in some strange way. So he nods and this time Seongje hands him the entire cigarette and he holds it with his pointer and middle finger, like chopsticks. He tries to mimic the way Seongje does it and takes an even smaller drag of the cigarette. This time, the burning wasn't as bad, almost subsided completely and he closed his eyes as he breathed out. It wasn't terrible as he pulled back, not feeling like he's coughing up a lung. Seongje is amused, not in a teasing way, watching him. Sieun is getting better at telling the difference.

"How was that? Looks like you enjoyed it." Seongje grins like he's got Sieun all figured out. Maybe he did. 

"I didn't hate it the second time," Sieun responds, his mouth tasted unpleasant and he wishes he had a water bottle to wash it out. Although, he could see now why Seongje liked them. "They're calming in a sense, that's why you like them." 

Seongje cracks his neck with a sigh. "Something like that." He rubs a thumb over the soft part of Sieun's cheek. "But I'm glad you don't like it. You're too cute to be smoking." He's staring at Sieun's pouty lips like he wants to kiss them and the latter wants him too. Even though they're in public and everyone could see. Sieun didn't get it but Seongje made him feel reckless.

"So what did you want to talk about, hm?" Seongje asks instead and Sieun momentarily forgets why he wanted to talk to the tall boy in the first place.

Sieun sighs, now that he has Seongje's attention, he doesn't know what he wanted to say, or moreso how to say it. Seongje was being so nice, even though Sieun had ignored his texts for days. Granted, he had a good reason to but he couldn't help the guilt he had when faced with Seongje. Perhaps part of him still feared the answer, but he knew if he didn't find a solution to his question, he might malfunction from overthinking. He needed to know where they stood, what they meant to each other.

"How...do you feel about me?" Sieun asks, after a beat, his eyes on Seongje.

Seongje's lips twitch upwards and he chuckles, a little taken aback by the question but he relaxes easily and takes another drag from his cigarette. Sieun watches him closely to gauge his reaction.

"I like you Yeon Sieun." Seongje announces and Sieun's heart pounds. 

"What does that mean?" He inquires. He couldn't fully trust Seongje's words, he was playing a calculated game and Sieun refused to fall for the trap and give Seongje a chance to make him look foolish or worse, hurt him.

Seongje takes one last drag then stomps his cigarette out with the heel of his shoe. He scoots over to Sieun, closing the distance between them. He clutches his jaw, earning him a gasp but Sieun doesn't fight it, simply returns the same serious gaze. Seongje wanted to break him and put him back together when he stared at him like that.

"Aw baby, I thought you were smart." Seongje taunts, his free hand grabbing Sieun by his waist, brings him closer. "It means you're mine, Sieun-ah." 

"I'm not," the shorter boy snaps defiantly. 

Seongje laughs, his breath warm on Sieun's lips. "You're mine." He declares again in a more concrete tone. 

Sieun didn't know what it was, but Seongje had a way of making Sieun lose himself. He could see right through the hard interior that Sieun presented to the world with ease like it just became natural for him to see Sieun as he truly was. Only one person was capable of doing that before and it leaves a heavy feeling in his chest. He suddenly couldn't breathe, pushing Seongje backwards. He didn't want to think about it, couldn't admit it to himself because then it meant he had to come to terms with how he truly felt about Seongje.

He wished it was still a game, that Seongje was just using him for enjoyment but the longer he stared at the taller boy's face under the street lights, he realized this wasn't a game to Seongje. 

He wonders if it ever was. 

This was something much more dangerous. 

Something warm. 

Something real.

And that scares Sieun the most.

Sieun breathes in deeply, chews at the inside of his cheek. Seongje's declaration of ownership doesn't turn his stomach or grosses him out like it should. He puts his hands on Seongje's neck, soft wild brown strands under his fingertips. He pulls him closer until their lips are almost touching. He closes his eyes, readies himself for the kiss he knew was coming but instead Seongje speaks between them like a secret.

"And you?" He whispers.

"What?" 

Seongje's lips kiss the corner of his mouth, teasing again. "What do I mean to you?" He asks, pausing to watch Sieun's with half eyes. "Do you like me too, Sieun-ya?" 

It's barely there but Sieun can still see it and it shocks him to the core all the more but he sees a glimpse of something susceptible in Seongje's gaze. Sieun feels warm all over and his cheeks radiate an unnoticeable pink in the dim light. Seongje really was...

"I wouldn't have let this continue otherwise," Sieun bites back but it sounds too detached to his own voice because Seongje's face falters for a millisecond so he quietly confesses. "I like you too... Seongje-ah." 

Seongje smashes their lips then, his lips chapped and demanding; claiming. 

"What are you doing right now? I need to get inside of you now." The older boy asks low and guttural, Sieun shivers.

"I-I have cram school..." Sieun manages, his pants feel tighter from the other's actions and words.

"Skip it." Seongje says and his hand feels so warm on the shorter boy's thigh.

Sieun wants to but he's already falling behind from the lack of focus he had recently. But then again, going to cram school feeling sexed up wouldn't help improve his studies either. He sighs.

"I can't." He says with finality. 

"Then come over after. Sneak out to my place." Seongje urges and Sieun is a little surprised by how badly Seongje wants to see him, touch him. A warm feeling travels through him when he realizes how wanted he felt. He likes the feeling from Seongje, something he never thought would happen.

"Okay." Sieun answers and Seongje smiles, not a mocking smirk or grin. A genuine smile that shows his teeth and his gums. His heart flutters, since when did he have such an effect on the other? "I'll come over after." 

Seongje gives him one more kiss and forces himself to let go and turns Sieun around and shoves him the opposite direction, who stumbles a little. 

"Go because I change my mind." 

.

Sieun waits for his mother to fall asleep while in the meantime he finishes his studies. He sneaks out and goes to Seongje's apartment approximately around 12:30 am. The walk isn't too long and the streets are clear and the air smells fresh. Spring was coming, which meant his relationship with Seongje had been going on for almost five months. It didn't feel like a long time but they fell into a pattern that began to feel familiar. Sieun gives time and energy to school, hangs out with friends, goes to cram school and visits Suho in the hospital, that's Sieun's schedule day in and day out. Yet Seongje somehow fits himself into his world and Sieun doesn't hate it and if Seongje meant what he said earlier than his relationship meant something to him. Sieun doesn't want to admit it but he prefers it like that; prefers for Seongje to care than this being casual sex anymore. It's a daunting thought, considering the shit he pulled just two weeks prior in Suho's hospital room but he doesn't think too much about it. He puts his ear pods in and plays a calming playlist Juntae recommended to him instead. 

The door to Seongje's place is usually unlocked, knowing Sieun was coming but this time it's still locked when Sieun reaches for it. He feels out of place then, debates knocking at the door but that feels more of an inconvenience to his sleeping neighbors and the last thing Sieun wanted was to cause a scene. He opts to text. 

Sieun

I'm outside.

But then 3 minutes pass and Sieun doesn't get a response or hear movement from inside so he decides to call Seongje, maybe he forgot to unlock the door. But then it goes to voicemail after 4 rings and Sieun feels sick, and starts to internally panic. Was Seongje okay? Sieun didn't check in with him after cram school until midnight and even then he hadn't responded. Had he gotten into trouble? Was he even at his apartment? The thought of Seongje beaten up somewhere sends a bitter sinking feeling in Sieun's chest. It makes him lose his inhibitions and he knocks at the door with a shaking fist. 

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

Again.

Knock.Knock.Knock.

Again.

Knockknockknock

Again.

Knock-

The door swings open and Sieun doesn't get a chance to speak before he is suddenly yanked inside by his wrist.

"Fuck, I heard you." Seongje grumbles and rubs his eye. Sieun takes him in as best as he could in the dark doorway. He was shirtless and wearing sweatpants, his hair more disheveled than usual. Perhaps he was sleeping. Sieun feels a hint of guilt for waking him up. 

Seongje leads him in the opposite direction of his bedroom; the kitchen. Despite being at Seongje's apartment multiple times, he hasn't really been in his kitchen. It was small, with only the necessities, a fridge, counter top, a sink and a table with two chairs. On the table, bandages and bloody tissues were scattered. Sieun examines Seongje upon seeing that and frowns further with what he finds.

He was right. 

"You were in a fight." Sieun states, hard eyes on the dark bruise blooming on Seongje's jaw, the side of his lip busted but the part that made Sieun worried was the deep slash on Seongje's shoulder. It was fresh with raised skin. Like whoever did it wanted to really hurt Seongje. Sieun feels sick. "You're hurt." 

Seongje sighs nonchalantly, sitting in the chair and grabbing the bottle of alcohol and pours it over his injury, hissing lightly. "It's nothing." He dismisses and reaches for the wraps. "The fucking piece of shit pulled out a hidden switch when I wasn't looking and slashed me. I beat the cocky smile off that fucker's face until he couldn't see straight." 

Sieun gazed down at his bruised knuckles with dried blood. The tall boy talked about beating someone like it was a minor inconvenience and Sieun couldn't believe how he could be so casual about it. Granted, he had to admit the guy deserved it for fighting dirty and using a knife. The light scar on Sieun's cheek serves as a remainder of such an incident. 

"You're hurt." Sieun says again and takes the rolls of bandage tape out of Seongje's hand. He stands between Seongje's spread legs and begins to quietly patch him up. He covers the nasty open wound and Seongje stays still, stares at his face with an unreadable look. Sieun can feel his eyes on him but he doesn't stop until he's all done. 

"Ah, were you worried about me, Sieun-ya? Lucky me." Seongje muses with a smile and for once Sieun isn't annoyed seeing his cocky grin. He is relieved to see it.

"You didn't answer your phone." 

Seongje stands and stretches, Sieun feels extra short, small next to him like this; a tiny part of him wants Seongje to engulf his body in and embrace but he pushes away the urge. He wondered when he became so affectionate, maybe because it was just Seongje. He didn't know. 

"Sorry," Seongje says genuinely and holds the back of Sieun's neck and bends down to kiss him briefly, Sieun pathetically melts into it. "I didn't mean to make you worry." 

Seongje's voice sounded raw but strangely honest and it soothes something in Sieun. The Keum Seongje was apologizing to him and that was a feat and accomplishment in itself. Sieun nods and wordlessly follows Seongje out of the kitchen and into his bedroom, a blush on his cheeks. 

Upon arrival, Seongje lays down on his bed and Sieun stands, idly not knowing what to do. This was usually the part where they had sex but Seongje's demeanor was different. He didn't have the hungry desire in his eyes like usual, instead he just looked tired... human. Sieun debates leaving, this seemed too personal, familiar, more than their initial agreement was. A line was being crossed, one Sieun wouldn't dare step pass in the beginning but now he wasn't so sure. Especially because he knew Seongje had real feelings for him. Though, maybe Seongje wanted him to leave, it's obvious he had a troubling night and was in no mood for anything sexual. He was probably waiting for Sieun to leave so he could sleep. Sieun didn't have a problem with that, logically but he couldn't get his body to catch up, still standing like a confused deer in the middle of the bedroom. 

"Sieun-ya," Seongje says and it makes the latter jump a little; his eyelids are heavy, like he's fighting off sleep. "Come here."

The short boy obeys, the bed bending a little to adjust to his weight as he awkwardly lays next to Seongje. The taller one puts his arm around him and Sieun takes the hint, half laying on Seongje's form. He rests against his chest while Seongje's hand lands snug on his waist. 

It's quiet in the room besides the soft sound of the paused video game on the television screen. Sieun felt comfortable, despite this being out of their usual realms of physical content. 

"Why do you live alone?" Sieun asks, suddenly into the silence and he thinks Seongje is asleep and doesn't hear him until he hears a sleepy hum, vibrating against his cheek.

"Christ, you sure have a lot of questions today," Seongje mutters though he doesn't sound annoyed by the inquiry. Just tired. "I moved out. After I started working with the Union, I saved up and got this place." 

"Is your relationship with your parents difficult?" Sieun frowns, Seongje coming from a troubled home would explain in more than one way why he turned out the way he did. 

Seongje yawns. "Not really.They are just pissed I'm not like my sisters that do everything they say." He closes his eyes. "They hate that I'm not their perfect son." 

"You have siblings?" Sieun doesn't know why he's so suddenly curious about Seongje's background but he's more surprised that Seongje is entertaining his intrusive questions. 

"Yup, two sisters. They already left home, in med school and law school. Before you ask, we're not close." 

It was hard to imagine Seongje with a family, nevertheless sisters. He thought Seongje was an only child, but to know he had older siblings and a strain relationship with his parents made him feel more real. Sieun of course could relate to not feeling good enough in his parents' eyes. However instead of striving to be something worthy of their praise like Sieun did, Seongje just gave up on trying and carved his own path. In a way Sieun admired that, maybe they weren't as different as Sieun thought. He's about to ask why Seongje doesn't talk to his siblings when he directs the question to him. Like he did earlier.

"What about you?" 

"I'm an only child." 

Seongje chuckles warmly. "Figures." He strokes Sieun's hips with his hand. It's warm. "You're way too weird to have siblings." 

Sieun doesn't get what that is supposed to mean so he just stays quiet, listening to the steady breathing of Seongje's heart. After a few minutes, he lifts his head to find Seongje's eyes closed, his glasses on the edge of his bed stand, perpetual frown in his sleep. Sieun watches him, at this moment, Seongje looks boyish and cute. All the craziness that holds his face when he's awake, seemingly washes away when he sleeps. It's a little hard to comprehend that this face is the one who caused trouble for Sieun and his friends, the same one who wrapped Sieun in this emotional situationship. It's even harder to understand that Sieun doesn't hold any anger or hatred towards him. Seongje is an asshole and done fucked up things but Sieun can't find it in him to l hate him for it. 

His gaze moves to Seongje's mouth and to the cut on the corner of his bottom lip. He wondered what really happened and why Seongje would pick a fight with some random slimeball. He couldn't believe that he was actually worried for his welfare but seeing Seongje beaten up was not pleasant and he hoped he wouldn't see it again. 

Soon his own eyelids get heavy. He should probably go back home, but he's tired and way too comfortable to get up. His mom left for work before he left for school and would likely not bother him in the morning so he considered it was a risk he was willing to take. 

.

Sieun gets the call after school on a Wednesday. He was walking with his friends to a karaoke spot, Juntae's pick, when his phone vibrated in his pocket, almost violently. He picks it up and holds his breath, his blood turning into ice. It was the hospital, Suho's hospital. The last time he got a call from the hospital, they delivered devastating news that nearly cost Sieun his own life. That was months ago but the wound was still fresh, he was always worried that something happened. But he doesn't let it get to the second ring before he answers it. 

"Hello. This is Yeon Sieun." 

Sieun runs, as fast as his legs can carry him to the bus station, his friends chasing after him, first trying to figure out what happened and then to follow Sieun for support once Sieun said three words. 

"Suho woke up." 

His leg is shaking the entire bus ride, Baku tries rubbing his shoulder in reassurance but none of them dare talk. All three picked up on the aura orbiting from Sieun, one that said he couldn't and wouldn't focus on anything that wasn't Ahn Suho. Once the bus stops, Sieun breaks out and runs in the direction of the hospital, leaving his friends to catch up, still carrying their bookbags. His lungs burn, he can barely catch his breath but he doesn't stop, his legs moving on their own. 

By the time they get to the hospital, Sieun is too out of breath to talk to the receptionist so Baku does for him. Sieun jogs to the backyard, where patients go for a walk and his eyes scan the crowd, looking desperately for the boy he missed more than anything. He panting and his heart tightens in his chest when he sees him.

Suho.

His Suho.

Suho was sitting in a wheelchair, looking in a different direction. He was wearing the hospital gown, shorts and Sieun's gray hoodie. His hair was longer, his bangs outgrown, parted in the middle while the hair touched the back of his neck. 

He looked just as Sieun remembered. 

So beautiful and handsome. 

Sieun uses the last of his energy to run up to him but suddenly halts when there is still 5 feet between them. Was he worthy of this? After everything he had done...

Suho turns his head, hearing him coming and immediately locks eyes with Sieun. 

"Suho-ah," Sieun rasps. This felt unreal, like he was going to wake up and Suho was going to disappear before he could do anything. The fear makes him take 3 hesitant steps closer. 

"Sieun-ya, you look well." Suho says it easy with a gentle smile and the tears full in Sieun's eyes from hearing his name from those lips again. Sieun thinks his legs are going to give out, feeling like jelly after all his running. Suho must notice because he reaches his hand out. "Come here." 

Sieun does, comes closer with lead feet and takes Suho's offering hand. He was fully prepared to sit next to Suho on the grass, he wasn't expecting Suho to guide him gently into his lap. 

"W-wait, I don't want to hurt you." Sieun says as his bottom lands on Suho's thighs. It's a snug fit in the wheelchair but Suho doesn't seem to mind. He holds Suho's hand tighter for balance. 

"You could never hurt me," Suho says and Sieun blushes deeply, swallowing a dry sob in his throat. He was so close to Suho, after so many months, Suho returned his gaze and held him. It was surreal. Suho breathes him in deeply. "You smell the same." 

Sieun can't help the smile that breaks out at that. Even after everything, Suho was still without a doubt Suho. "I missed you." Sieun whispers. "So much." 

Suho's hand holds Sieun's cheek, slowly tilts his head and kisses right there. In front of everyone, in the yard and Sieun's friends; Suho kisses Sieun.

A whimper slips out from Sieun. Suho kisses the same, assertive but gentle, his lips, his hand position, everything is just how Sieun remembers and his heart pounds, his arms come around to wrap about Suho. He didn't want to stop, he wanted to kiss Suho forever and deepen the kiss and-

Someone clears their throat behind him, sounding awfully close and both Sieun and Suho turn their heads at the same time to Baku, Gotak and Juntae, standing there. Baku looks uncomfortable despite the closed mouth smile he wears, Gotak looks awkward like he's not sure what to say while Juntae has a feverish pink on his cheeks, watching Sieun and Suho. 

Oh right. 

His friends are here.

Sieun glances around to see if anyone else saw them but he only spots the nurse who was giving him updates about Suho watching from across the yard with a small smile on her face. Suddenly feeling self conscious, he stands up but he doesn't let go of Suho's hand. 

"Uh, not to interrupt your reunion but I believe introductions are in order," Baku says with a scratch to his head and chuckles. 

"Hey Sieun-ya, who are these guys?" Suho asks, pointing a finger at them with raised eyebrows. 

"They're my friends." Sieun introduces them and introduces Suho to them. 

"This is Suho, my boyfriend." 

.

Baku and Gotak get drinks and snacks from the vending machine while Sieun and Juntae are with Suho in the garden. Sieun stays glued to Suho's side, like he was scared that if he left his sight, he'd be back in that stuffy room with tubes up his nose. He couldn't stop staring either, it was incredible, watching Suho talk, eat, engage with people. He never wanted to be without it again. 

After introductions, they seem to get along well. Although Suho made a face after hearing their names, it was gone before Sieun could figure it out. 

"Your friends are nice," Suho says once they're alone in the hospital room after everyone left. They had moved Suho's room out of the coma unit and Sieun was currently laying next to him in the narrow hospital bed. He knew he wasn't supposed to but he couldn't help himself and Suho didn't mind either, his arms snug around Sieun's waist so tight while their fingers were entwined like he wanted to merge them together. "I'm glad you had them by your side when I wasn't there." 

"They saved me from a difficult place. It was so hard to keep going without you," Sieun responds, when he was with Suho, it was easy to express his feelings. 

After a moment, Suho looks down at him with a lidded gaze. "Sieun-ya, I'm sorry for leaving you." 

Sieun's heart fastens at that, eyes back on Suho. Is that what Suho really thought? That Sieun blamed him for leaving him? His face shatters into something solemn, guilt working in his stomach like an infection. Suho thought he had been replaced. His head shows flashes of glasses and cigarettes. He felt awful.

"You didn't. It was my fault I should have told you the truth and then you wouldn't have gone there alone and-!" 

"Hey Sieun-ya, relax." Suho rubs his back with soothing movements. "It's not your fault. I don't blame you, baby calm down." 

Sieun didn't realize he was on the verge of a panic attack until he tried to breathe and how hard it was for him. Suho sits up with him and hands him his water bottle next to the stand. He brings it to Sieun's lips who drinks it slowly. After a few minutes, Sieun is able to calm his nerves and lays on top of Suho once more.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, the words carry so much weight, more than Suho could understand.

Suho wipes his thumb under his eyes as a loose tear manages to escape. He studies Sieun then carefully fixes his bangs until they're laying flat. He smiles and Sieun feels warm throughout his body. 

"You don't have anything to be sorry for baby," Suho assured and pressed their lips together and then their foreheads, his hand holding Sieun by his cheeks. "I love you so much." 

Sieun envelops him closely until he lies right on top of Suho; chest to chest, feeling the synchronic beating of both of their hearts. He sniffles, doesn't know exactly when he started crying but Suho thumbs away the dampness on his pink cheeks with care and ease. He feels sick with guilt, he didn't deserve Suho or how understanding he was being. He knew if Suho knew the truth of what he had been doing, or moreso who he had been doing, he'd be devastated and rightfully so. It's a selfish thought, he knows it but he relishes in the comfort of Suho's arms and words. He doesn't want to lose this and decides right then to not let Suho find out about Seongje. He couldn't risk losing him again.

"I love you too Suho-ya." Suho's lips are slightly chapped when Sieun kisses him but he doesn't care and neither does Suho who gently and firmly holds the back of his head, ushering him closer. Sieun whines and gasps when Suho pries his mouth open with his tongue. His whole body feels electric and pulls into him even more, giving Suho access. Suho breathes him in and Sieun inhales, giving himself to Suho.

Sieun keens as Suho bites his lower lip, heat rushing to his gut. Suho nibbles and licks, like he's taking the time to rediscover kissing and Sieun chases his mouth, happily along for the journey.

Suho stops before they can go further and Sieun is only a little bummed out because Suho doesn't relinquish his grip and keeps Sieun close to his chest.

"It's the past now. We have the present and the future to make up for our lost time. Besides," Suho kisses Sieun again and he sighs in bliss. "I'm never letting you go again." 

 .

"Sieun-ya, are you feeling alright? You look tired today." 

He looks up, finding Juntae watching him, curiously. He takes another sip of water, still out of breath. "I'm fine. I stayed late with Suho yesterday at the hospital." 

It had been a week since Suho woke up and Sieun visited him everyday. It was a little surreal, but Sieun's heart filled with love every time he walked in and saw Suho sitting up, talking, being alive and staring at him with devoted eyes. They fall back into their dynamic with ease. Suho had become more affectionate than before but Sieun wasn't complaining. Suho was right, they did have a lot of time to make up for.

But there was a downside. He had been avoiding Seongje, making excuses as to why he couldn't see him. He doesn't know why but telling him Suho was awake seemed like a bad idea. Seongje was unpredictable, he could act out and do something unhinged. He already knew what hospital Suho was at and he really didn't want him going into a possessive rage and hurting Suho. He didn't want to be responsible for putting Suho in harm's way because of his careless actions. Not again, so it's best if he keeps Seongje at a distance, at least for now until Sieun figures out what to do next.

"Oh, that's nice. He's scheduled for a release soon, right?" Juntae smiles and Sieun nods.

"Yes, since his injuries have healed, the only thing he needs now is physical therapy and they're letting him go home." Sieun says. Suho had been making great progress and even the doctors were amazed by his improvement. His limbs were still stiff, Suho's walk was a little off kilter but the doctor said the more movement he did, the better he would recover so they had no reason to keep him longer. Sieun was thrilled, and couldn't wait for Suho to get out of the hospital and finally come home. 

"I didn't expect him to be so... affectionate. It was really cute how you let him kiss you in front of us." Juntae giggles, a patch of pink blooming on his cheek. 

Sieun had almost forgotten about that, Suho always had his hands on him and it wasn't that Sieun didn't like it, far from the truth. Suho made it clear that it was because he missed him but Sieun wondered if there was another reason that his boyfriend wasn't telling him. He didn't want to assume things though, so he stayed quiet about it. Sieun diverts his eye contact, looks at Baku and Gotak, playing basketball just a few feet away on the court.

"Juntae-ah, can I ask you something?" He turns then, facing the smaller boy. "I need your advice on something." 

Juntae perks up a little at that, scooting closer on the bleachers to him. "Of course. You can tell me anything, Sieun-ya, and I'll hear you out without prejudice or judgment." He smiles and it's as sweet as syrup. It was one of those moments that Sieun really cherished his friends. 

"What I tell you...you can't tell Baku or Gotak, okay? I don't want them to know. Not yet." Sieun can't believe he's preparing to actually tell Juntae his secret. But he can't take it any longer, he needs to talk to someone, share the burden with someone else if only just for a moment. Juntae was an optimistic and kind hearted person. Sieun trusted that he would hear him out without thinking irrational or asking a bunch of questions like Baku and Gotak were likely to do and that's the last thing Sieun needed. Especially because he didn't know the answers to most of the questions himself.

Juntae's face took a concerned turn and then he nodded in understanding. "I won't, you have my word." 

Sieun sighs, gathering the words on his tongue before he continues. "You know how I said Seongje-ah was my friend?" He asks and Juntae nods.

"Of course." 

"He isn't my friend. He's..." Sieun swallows. "We have been having an intimate relationship for months." 

"Ah, is that so..." Juntae's eyes shine with shock even though it was evident, he wanted to appear as calm as possible. "Since when?" 

"It started as an exchange for information on the Union. He gave me what we needed to end the Union and he wanted to have sex with me in return." 

Juntae's eyes get big while his mouth parts but he doesn't speak so it encourages Sieun to continue. "At first...I think I was using him so I wouldn't have to think about... Suho-ya but now I'm not sure." 

"Wow, well do you know if Seongje ssi likes you?" Juntae asks.

"He does. He told me." Sieun says, a warm rush in his gut from the memory of Seongje holding him.

"You're mine." 

"Seongje ssi is surprisingly soft, huh?" Juntae smiles. "Maybe you're the first person he ever liked." He jokes lightly. 

Sieun considers it and the thought makes his cheeks warm. Had he really found a way into someone's heart who was as unpredictable as Seongje?

"Do you like him too?" Juntae asks in a smaller voice and Sieun sighs. He feared this question because it signified the reality of his emotions for Seongje.

"I do...but that's the problem." Juntae sits and listens. "Suho is my boyfriend and I don't want Seongje to do something to Suho when he finds out he is awake."

Juntae's eyes widen and his mouth opens and closes a few times like he's putting the pieces together from Sieun's words. Before their reunion, Sieun hadn't told him or Gotak that Suho wasn't just his friend but his romantic partner. Baku silently figured it out with the way Sieun had tried to get out of his hospital bed to go to Suho in his hazed hit by a bus head. He hadn't mentioned it directly, just said "Suho-ya means a lot to you, doesn't he?" He was pretty smart after all. His face was not one of judgement rather he looked more intrigued. 

"I see. You're scared Seongje will hurt Suho," Juntae ponders aloud. "But Sieun-ah, didn't you say Seongje-ah likes you?"

Sieun nods, not knowing where Juntae was going with this.

"Then, he wouldn't hurt someone who means so much to you, would he?"

Sieun considers it, staring at the gathering clouds in the sky. It will rain soon.

"Do you want to be with Seongje-ah instead of Suho?" Juntae asks, immediately catching Sieun's ear. 

"No." Sieun answers defiantly, because the thought hasn't crossed his mind, didn't want it to because it wasn't even an option. "I will never leave Suho's side." He sounds like a petulant child to his own ears, unable to let go of his favorite toy. He must sound like it to Juntae too who stares at him in a similar fashion.

"Sieun-ya," Juntae starts and his voice is an octave lower when he asks. "Do you want to be with both of them?" 

Sieun swallows, his ears feel hot, exposed like Juntae had him figured out, that he was as see through as glass when it came to his feelings. It sounded worse, sinful even spoken into existence. He felt guilty, gluttonous to want more when he didn't deserve anything. 

"... What should I do?" Sieun asks quietly. 

 .

The talk with Juntae ended on a rather meak note, with Juntae saying to do what felt right but it didn't help silence the thoughts that plague his head. Currently, he didn't know where he stood with Seongje and Suho was busy getting settled back into his grandmother's apartment and with his physical therapy. Sieun didn't want to hover over him too much, despite Suho claiming that he wasn't. He wanted to give Suho the space he needed to adjust back to the outside world that he left behind nearly two years prior. Even if Sieun would spend every moment with him if he could, they still called or texted everyday. Besides, the end of the school year was quickly approaching. Soon, he would no longer be a high school student and if his hard work paid off, he'll be enrolled in university in just a few months. 

Sieun gets home and finds the door unlocked. It wasn't strange per say, his mother did have the tendency to slip in, grab something, leave in a hurry and forget to lock the door back. But that thought is killed as soon as he sees a familiar pair of well worn sneakers inside.

"You should really lock your doors." 

Sieun sighs, finding Seongje sitting in the living room of his apartment. 

"What are you doing here?" He's not even that surprised that Seongje found out where he lived and managed to get inside. He was a wild card, the part that worried him was what Seongje wanted.

Seongje stalks closer and he has a childish pout on his face. "You've been avoiding me." 

"I've been busy." Sieun corrects shortly. "End of the term exams." Sieun answers shortly and heads to his bedroom. Seongje follows behind him quickly.

Seongje nods like he understands but it's obvious that he's bothered by the scowl on his face. He scans Sieun's room while the latter takes off his blazer and tie. The tall boy's eyes land on his desk. He smirks, starting at the group selfie Baku took, taped to the desk. He scoffs, amused until he sees the picture next to it. Sieun doesn't have to look to know which one. He only had two photos on display anyway. Seongje frowns and takes the second picture into his hand, taking a closer look at it. 

It was a picture of Suho and Sieun, Suho's arm snug around his shoulders, smiling adoringly at Sieun who had a half smile. They had taken it in a photo booth after Suho insisted and Sieun had agreed though he had never been in one before. The first flash made Sieun blink, the second one he had tried to prepare but the brightness made him look more confused but last flash, he managed a small smile. Suho kept the second one, saying Sieun's deer in headlights expression was cute while Sieun wanted the third picture. The way Suho was smiling was beautiful and Sieun liked how he matched his energy in the photo. They really looked like boyfriends. He cherished the memory.

Seongje tilts his head, studies the photograph further than his expression sours. He holds the picture with his fingertips and about to rip it in half.

"Don't you dare," Sieun warns, grabbing Seongje's wrist before the first tear. 

"Why shouldn't I?" Seongje says, his gaze sends daggers to Sieun's chest. "You've been ignoring me for him. Again." 

Sieun doesn't respond, he wasn't exactly wrong but the words still sting like a bug bite. This was his chance to mention Suho's new condition, that that's the reason he had put some space between them. He could tell the truth but he doesn't, can't get his mouth to form the words. He's not scared of Seongje, more like he's scared of Seongje's reaction. Instead he reaches for the picture but Seongje uses his height against him, holding the picture out of his reach.

Seongje scoffs at the lack of response. "You have, haven't you? That's why you're so busy. You've been at that fucking hospital every day." He doesn't hesitate as he crumbles the picture in his fist and throws it on the floor. Sieun flinches and by instinct, shoves him back. 

"You asshole," Sieun glares and goes to pick the photograph up but Seongje yanks him by his wrists and shoves him against the wall. He tried to move but Seongje was stronger, had him pinned. Sieun's eyes watch him, breath hitches when the taller boy leans in. "Seongje-ah stop."

"Here I was missing you and you do this to me." His voice is warm, it sends shivers down Sieun's spine. He kisses his neck then next to his ear. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me? That my boyfriend would treat me so poorly?" 

That word again, it weighs heavy in the air along with Seongje's cologne. Sieun could correct him again, say that he wasn't his boyfriend and that he didn't owe him anything. But then, his words wouldn't match his actions because now he knew how Seongje truly felt about him; it wasn't a game to either of them. Seongje liked him, wanted him and Sieun had cruelly ignored him. Despite the reason why, it didn't excuse treating Seongje like shit. Besides, this meant Seongje likely didn't know about Suho being awake. Either way, he would tread gently. 

"I'm sorry," Sieun says genuinely, and at that Seongje falters, like he wasn't expecting it. He holds Seongje by his neck and brings their mouths together briefly. "I was inconsiderate."

Seongje's face softens, his wolfish gaze lowers and wraps his arms around Sieun's body, touching and groping him desperately. He kisses the side of Sieun's lips several times, like he couldn't stop. "Fuck, I missed you so much. You need me too, don't you baby?" He shoves his knees between Sieun's legs, earning a gasp from the pressure.

"I can't stay mad at you, I just-" He shoves his tongue past his lips with ease, mapping out Sieun's mouth like they had all the time in the world. "I don't like it when you ignore me baby." 

Sieun's breath catches as Seongje had his fill, his touches were different this time, unbuttoning Sieun's shirt as he makes his way lower. His touch wasn't rushed and driven, it was the right level of tender and needy. It was unlike Seongje but it wasn't unwelcomed. It felt good and Sieun closed his eyes, giving in to the pleasure, a hand resting into his messy hair. Seongje palms his groin and squeezes and Sieun gasps, the taller boy unfastening his slacks with skilled fingers. He pulls down his pants and underwear all at once, leaving Sieun completely bottomless. He kisses and licks Sieun's plump thighs, his hands tittering close to his growing arousal but not touching. 

"Please," Sieun whispers, the blood rushing to his gut in anticipation.

Seongje smirks up at him, like he has the shorter boy exactly where he wants him. Sieun doesn't care if he sounds pathetic, especially as Seongje wraps his big hand around his length, his grip almost covering his entire cock. For some reason, that turns Sieun on more, his tip leaking precum. 

"Fuck, you beg so pretty," Seongje says, his hot breath on his tip makes him shiver. "Anything for my baby." 

Sieun whimpers at his sugar sweet words and moans as Seongje leans forward; licking his tongue around his head before taking it in his warm mouth. His hand in Seongje's hair tightens, the taller boy removes his fist, taking Sieun's whole cock in his mouth easily. He bobs his head up and down, his tongue twisting around the underside where Sieun is most sensitive. 

Seongje hums, the sound reverberating through Sieun’s body. His head drops down, biting his lip as he watches Seongje swallow down his length. His hips grind down helplessly into the tight heat. "Please..." He whispers.

He closes his eyes, getting lost into the pleasure. He could feel his release quickly approaching, just needed a little more.

"Suho-ah," Sieun chokes out, and his eyes widen, immediately realizing his error. He freezes.

It takes a moment for Seongje to react, and it sets Sieun on edge. Seongje pulls off with a small pop and when he looks at Sieun his blood turns cold. He doesn't think he's ever seen him this pissed, not even when they fought on the rooftop. 

"What the fuck did you just say?" He questions, slowly raising to his feet. Any other time, Sieun wouldn't mind Seongje towering over him, but now it makes him shake with fear and he backs himself into the wall, feeling vulnerable. He opens his mouth.

"S-seongje-!" The rest of the words choke in his throat. The taller boy lunges forward, the same hand that was just stroking his length now has a death grip on neck. 

Seongje's expression darkens and his free hand squeezes the base of Sieun's cock almost painfully and Sieun hisses. "Suho?" His laugh is humorless. "Ahn Suho is not the one currently sucking your dick Sieun-ah." He squeezes more and Sieun whimpers. 

"I-I'm sorry!" He gasps.

Seongje stares at him with a dim expression, his brows furrowed. Something else covered the taller boy’s features, something akin to jealousy and possession and it scares Sieun more than a little.

"I-it slipped out." Sieun provides lamely but it doesn't help because Seongje's frown cements, his hand around Sieun's neck tightens.

"How the fuck could you think about anybody else, especially Suho of all people when you're with me? You're a real piece of work, you know that?" He snares with anger. 

Sieun feels shame wash over him, for doing this to him, for making him look so utterly miserable. Seongje lets go of his cock to pin Sieun to the walls, his nails digging into his flesh. Sieun doesn't fight against Seongje's grip so he is helpless under the tall boy. 

"All this time...were you imagining Suho fucking you?" Seongje asks and there is something raw in his tone and that pains Sieun's chest. 

"No, that's not true!" Sieun shouts, because it wasn't and he didn't want Seongje to think otherwise. He blinks up at his face. He owed him the truth more than ever. He swallows down the lump stuck in his throat with some difficulty because of the hand there. 

"Suho-ah...woke up." He confesses. 

Seongje sneers, shaking his head. "That's why you've been ignoring me. Fucking slut, you're two timing me?"

Sieun wants to cry, his eyes already glassy with unshed tears. "That's not..." He doesn't have the power to correct him, tell him they're not boyfriends because in this moment it really did feel like he cheated on Seongje with Suho. His chest feels tight.

"Did you fuck him?" Seongje asks crudely.

He shakes his head. "W-we kissed. That's it..." 

Seongje is quiet then. He loosens his grip of his neck and his fingers along Sieun's face, thumbing over his soft cheeks while his other hand strokes over his stomach and hips. His touch is gentle as his dark eyes never leaves Sieun's face.

"You're unbelievable. You're supposed to be mine and you say that fucker's name..." He whispers in disbelief but it sounds like it's more to himself than Sieun. He strokes Sieun's bangs to the side. "My pretty baby, why did you do that to me?" He sounds so incredibly human then and Sieun feels awful, wants the ground to swallow him entirely.

Sieun finally makes a move and counts it as a small win when Seongje lets him cup his face. "I'm sorry Seongje-ah. I'll make it up to you." He doesn't know what he could say to make it better so he lets his body lead him. 

The taller boy doesn't stop Sieun as he leads him to sit on his bed or as he gets on his knees to open his slacks. Seongje's cock is heavy, thick in his hand and he strokes him to full hardness. Sieun hesitated, he had rarely done this before despite the many times he and Seongje fucked. Slowly, he licked the head of his cock, and felt encouraged when Seongje exhaled deeply. 

Seongje put his hands on the back of the boy’s head, forcing him to take more. Sieun's eyes narrowed as the taller boy pushed his head towards his dick. Seongje hums, forcing his full cock to the back of his throat instantly. Sieun gags but he doesn't pull off, breathing through his nose. 

The silence is not normal, Seongje usually talks so much through sex that Sieun almost hated it but this was worse. Seongje remaining silent scares him, no words of encouragement or comfort. Sieun wanted to be told he was doing a good job, he needed praise, anything. He slowly takes more cock until his nose is planted against Seongje's pubes. Sieun's eyes transfixed on his face, and finds Seongje's eyes screaming desire but by the clench of his jaw, it was obvious he was holding back. The hold on his hair tightened and Sieun gulped nervously, sliding his tongue under the shaft which makes the taller boy groan. 

 "That's it," Seongje says, his hand now bobbing Sieun's head up and down his cock like he was a mere toy. "Show me how sorry you are." 

Sieun moans, the acknowledgement satisfies a deep want in him. He wants to please. Before he even realize it, Seongje's cock was fucking his throat. Sieun gagged for a second, tears filling his eyes, quickly blinking them away which only made them roll down his pinkish cheeks but the taller boy's words of reassurance and guidance made him want to do good. He loosens his throat and lets the length work in and out of his mouth with ease.

Seongje shoves him down to the base one last time and curses under his breath, coming down Sieun's throat. Sieun closes his eyes, focusing on swallowing and gulping the warm release as well as he could. Once he is done, he pulls off the softening cock. He licks the remaining slick from the tip and carefully puts Seongje back in his slacks. His knees hurt and his throat feels rubbed raw and he attentively peers up at the taller boy. Seongje was breathing heavily, looking at Sieun with a gaze full of something Sieun couldn't name but it made his heart swoon. Still, that frown from before was present too and Sieun never wanted to see his gummy smile more than in that moment. It weighs heavier that he's the reason for his mood.

Sieun climbs into his lap, maybe a little desperately but he can't help it. They look each other in the eyes and Sieun wraps his arms around Seongje's shoulders. 

"I'm sorry Seongje-ah," he said again, his voice cracked. He wants Seongje to forgive him but deep down, he knows it's not enough. That for once actions didn't speak louder than words. Seongje wanted, needed him to say it to be assured. But even now, Sieun couldn't force himself to, despite how much he wanted to. 

That he wanted Seongje to stay. 

That he had feelings for him and that he didn't want Seongje to leave.

But he doesn't. 

He was a coward. 

Sieun isn't too surprised when Seongje pushes him off his lap, landing on his bed. Seongje sighs and stands up. His hands in his pockets and he heads to the door. He turns briefly, looking at Sieun and sighs. 

"I know you are." 

Sieun wants to say something, anything so they don't leave it on this sour note but Seongje is already out of the bedroom. It was obvious he didn't want to be around Sieun for another second so he stays still until he hears the front door slam close. He lays down, trembling and covers himself with his sheet. The scent of Seongje is still on his bedding and it makes his chest ache. He can't be bothered to get dress or even move, his mind replaying the events that unfolded over and over. Sieun wondered why it was so hard to tell Seongje that he cared about him. It came so easily with Suho and yet he found himself holding back with Seongje despite it being true. He feels ashamed. 

Despite how flawed Seongje was a person, he didn't deserve to be treated like this.

Sieun falls into a dreamless sleep and when he wakes up, his room is pitch black. He feels for his phone in the darkness and checks the time, blinking to get his sensitive eyes used to the lighting.

7:47 PM

7 new messages 

He unlocks his phone. A small part of him hoped one of the messages were from Seongje, something that could ease the ache he had in his chest. Whether it was a horny text or a meme Sieun wouldn't get or a screenshot of his favorite mobile game. He didn't care, he just needed something. 

The first six messages were from his group chat with his friends. 

The last one was...

Suho

hey sieunnie baby ❤ sorry I didn't text earlier. therapy has been intense 😵‍💫 but lets hang out tomorrow, okay?

Sieun's heart warms and his eyes soften but he is still disappointed that it wasn't Seongje. Yet, he loves Suho and the fact that he made sure to contact him everyday almost overrides the dull ache. He texts back quickly.

Sieun 

I'd love that.