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Would you rather have a five-year-old Sieun or five Sieuns?
Aren’t five Sieuns better?
Hyunwook has a crush.
Something small and silly, not even worth mentioning, really.
The crush started when he joined the cast of Weak Hero Class and met his co-star, actor and idol Park Jihoon. As soon as his eyes landed on him, he knew he was screwed.
Never in his life had he seen such sparkly pair of round eyes, such fluffy, silky hair. He reminded Hyunwook of a Maltese and the urge to coo every time he breathed was extremely hard to contain.
Whenever their eyes met, Hyunwook swore he could hear bells ringing like in that one movie that made him cry for thirty minutes straight.
He recalls it perfectly like it had been yesterday.
Jihoon had looked up from his script during their first reading session with the entire cast. His eyes scanned around the room before settling on Hyunwook.
The bells started to ring gently as if playing with the breeze of the air conditioning.
Hyunwook had smiled – a smile he was certain was irresistibly alluring.
And Jihoon in turn had glared at him like he was Satan reincarnated.
It was meant to be from the start.
Obviously, all that happened almost three years ago.
Hyunwook got closer to Jihoon over time, using all his best tricks.
Fluttering his eyelashes, winking every time their eyes met and slapping Jihoon’s ass as both a greeting and a farewell.
It was only natural that they grew incredibly close.
Close enough to constantly visit each other’s houses, know each other’s families, eat most of their meals together, and lastly, share a good, friendly snuggle.
Not to forget the way they call each other using endearing terms that only friends as close as them would use.
Some people would think they’re dating.
God, sometimes Hyunwook deluded himself enough to believe that as well. Except for the fact that they weren’t.
Which was fine!
Hyunwook didn’t care. At all.
He had a lot of people he could date.
A whole lake of them. An ocean, actually.
A lot of fishermen trying to fish his fish, or however the saying goes.
His crush was basically gone. It didn’t exist most of the time. He didn’t even think about Park Jihoon that much.
Most days, he didn’t remember his face and had to google it.
So, to avoid that hassle, he decided to save Jihoon’s pictures in a specific folder on his phone and look at them every time he forgot Jihoon’s face.
How embarrassing would it be to greet someone else thinking they were Park Jihoon, right?
It was a safety measure.
And he took it very seriously .
That was also why he had all of Park Jihoon’s albums neatly arranged in the corner of his living room with six posters framed beautifully over them.
He used to also have some white roses and a huge candle in the middle, but Jihoon had taken it away. Something about it looking like he was dead.
Safe to say that everything is under control.
Hyunwook is over him.
He can totally keep their very platonic, super-close friendship, a friendship .
He is no longer a victim of Park Jihoon’s beautiful eyes.
Which is why, when he wakes up to five Yeon Sieuns staring at him, he only whimpers a little bit.
“I’ve read this in a BL before,” he whispers to himself, wide eyes looking between each one of the perfectly alike Sieuns.
“Suho?” they all ask in union.
Hyunwook suddenly wishes he had never skipped church when he was younger to play football instead. This was his punishment. He was being haunted by five demons that talked in sync and looked like the person he was trying to not have a crush on.
“Please, don’t talk at the same time, or I will seriously cry,” he says, getting out of bed with caution, as if all of them would jump him at the same time.
He could probably win against them if it wasn’t for the five pens resting in their front pockets.
Then again, Sieun was a minor, so would he be arrested for fighting a minor? How long would he have to stay in jail? Fifty years? Since they were five?
God, what if Jihoon went bald and became a monk while he was in prison, and he never got to see him again?
“Aren’t you Suho?” Sieun number one, as Hyunwook labeled him in his head, asks with a slight tilt of his head.
Stupid maltese.
“Uh- I’m not. I am, but I’m not. Is this a dream?”
Sieun number two reaches out and pinches Hyunwook’s arm hard .
“Holy fucking shit, I think I need a doctor,” he cries, holding onto his arm, “First, I'm seeing things. Five of the same things. Now, I’m being abused. I’ve gone insane.”
He falls to his knees in a very dramatic way and wails into his hands.
The five Sieuns form a circle and stare down at him with their big, teary eyes and Hyunwook is about to really start crying when he hears his front door open.
“Hyunwookie, are you awake?”
Park Jihoon.
Hyunwook jumps to his feet and practically flies to the other boy.
“Hyung!” he yells out, reaching forward to pull him into a hug.
Jihoon stands frozen in place for a few seconds before pushing him away with a bewildered expression.
“Why are you crying? No, forget that, what the fuck are you wearing? ”
Hyunwook sniffs and glances down at himself.
“PJ shorts?” he answers, sounding more like a question.
When he looks back up, Jihoon’s face is completely red, and he is looking at his forehead instead of his eyes.
“PJ shorts? More like a second skin. Get dressed properly. I am a guest at your house.”
Hyunwook pouts. Those were his favorite shorts.
Jihoon finally meets his eyes, with his cheeks still slightly red, and gives him a small, barely there, smile.
“I got your favorite for breakfast. Let’s eat together.”
And fuck if Hyunwook would say no to Ji- food. To free food.
He spins around on his heels, ready to head back to his bedroom, to change – when he remembers.
The five Sieuns that were getting ready to kill him.
He spins back around, his eyes big and his lips trembling.
“Hyung, I can’t go back there.”
Jihoon was already setting down the bags he brought on the kitchen table, moving quickly to get everything ready so they could eat.
He looked like a fairy floating around Hyunwook’s house, sprinkling fairy dust – which included dropping the kimchi container all over the floor and calling Hyunwook disgusting for leaving his dishes unwashed in the sink.
If Hyunwook liked him, he would marry him on the spot.
“What do you mean by that?” Jihoon asks as he cleans up the spilled kimchi off the floor with an excessive number of paper towels.
Hyunwook glances towards the bedroom door, back to Jihoon and takes a step closer to the kitchen.
“They’ll kill me if I go back.”
“Huh?”
He points back to his bedroom with his thumb, “The Sieuns.”
They both went quiet as they simply stared at each other. Hyunwook with fear and Jihoon, like he should call 911 and get him some help immediately.
“Honey, did you get the sleeping pills mixed up again?”
In a handful of very quick skipping steps, Jihoon was once again in front of him, his hand reaching out to spread his eyes wide open.
Under normal circumstances, Hyunwook would play it up a bit. Maybe pout some more, whine a bit and fake some tears so his hyung would coddle him.
He would also likely get his meds mixed up, but after the last incident where he got so high he cried over his Jihoon poster not talking back, Jihoon himself made sure everything was in order, using tiny colorful containers so that wouldn’t happen again.
And it hasn’t happened ever since.
Because Jihoon’s system was perfect. And Hyunwook followed it like it was the law.
“Jihoon-hyung, I’m serious!” he says, his eyes twitching and tearing up from being open too long without blinking, “There are like, five of them, and they all have pens and teary eyes and murderous intentions.”
Jihoon opens his mouth to answer when a loud noise comes from the bedroom, making them both jump apart in surprise.
“Oh no, they’re setting up the crime scene so it looks like an accident,” Hyunwook whimpers, “I’m too young to die. I haven’t even gone to a ranch party or ridden a horse.”
Jihoon hushes him and steps around Hyunwook. “We will talk about your bucket list being cowboy-themed later.”
Hyunwook walks behind him, grabbing onto the back of his shirt and trying his best to hide behind his hyung’s smaller figure.
When in front of the door, Hyunwook almost expects Jihoon to hesitate or, maybe, knock.
He would knock instead of Jihoon if he wasn’t about to shit himself.
But instead, he kicks it open and jumps inside in a fighting stance.
The five Sieuns are all spread around his bedroom.
Sieun #1 is reading the self-help book Hyunwook had on his nightstand with a rather horrified look on his face.
Sieun #2 is on his knees, peeking under his bed. Sieun #3 is messing with Hyunwook’s perfumes and spraying them one by one in front of his face. Sieun #4 is laying like a vampire in the middle of his bed and lastly, Sieun #5 is frozen in place staring down at a box full of Hyunwook’s secret possessions , now wide open on his bedroom floor for everyone too see
“What the fuck,” Jihoon says, making them all look up at the same time.
Hyunwook half shouts in his hyung’s ear before cowering, his arms covering his head.
No one moves for a second. The Sieuns stare at Jihoon and Jihoon stares back just as hard. Hyunwook peeks from the gap between his arms as he trembles on the floor.
And then-
“Is that a life-sized cutout of me?!”
Hyunwook stands up so fast his vision goes a bit blurry around the edges. He marches to his closet where the Jihoon life-sized cutout is peeking out and shoves it further inside before forcefully closing the door.
He turns around and leans his full weight against the door.
“So, what’s for breakfast again?”
Jihoon just stares at him with a bewildered look on his face, the one he gets every time Hyunwook does something worth revoking his human rights.
Hyunwook barely manages to stand there, with a huge smile forcibly plastered on his face. His cheeks hurt badly. Not to mention, but he also has tears streaming down his face. He could see his end nearing at a lightning speed.
Sieun #5, the one that was messing with Hyunwook’s secret possessions , holds up two Park Jihoon albums in each hand and points towards Jihoon, innocently. “He also has a lot of CDs with your face on it.”
Hyunwook’s left eye twitches, smile still on his face, he asks, “Did you keep me alive so you could torture me first?”
Sieun #2 answers from under the bed, “We’re not trying to kill you, Suho.”
Sieun #1 reaches out to touch his arm gently, “Are you okay?”
The remaining Sieuns all turn to look at him with worried expressions, all of them moving from their spots to get closer to Hyunwook.
Hyunwook looks at them approaching like he would look at a truck about to run him over after he jaywalks, because he felt too lazy to go all the way to the crosswalk down the street.
He opens his mouth to scream because that’s what he would do if a truck was about to turn him into a pancake.
But before he can, Jihoon is stepping in front of him like a shield with his shoulders all the way up to his ears.
“Stand back, heathens!” he shouts or, more like squeaks, “By the power of Christ, you will perish!”
The Sieuns exchange looks between themselves, all of them deeply confused.
Hyunwook leans down to whisper in Jihoon’s ear, “Babe, I don’t think that’s how it works.”
Jihoon hisses back, “I don’t fucking know. I never went to church.”
Hyunwook’s breath hitches and his heart skips a beat. He had to write this down in his diary. Park Jihoon and he both didn’t frequent the church when they were younger. He wonders if they could still get married in a church if they’ve never been to one? Or is there some type of law where they’ll have to give away their firstborn?
One of the Sieuns, either #4 or #3, takes a step back and glances between Hyunwook and Jihoon.
“We’re not demons. We’re Sieun. All of us.”
“Yeah, and you’re Suho,” another one said, pointing at Hyunwook, who flinches for no particular reason.
Sieun #2 steps closer, ignoring Jihoon hissing at him like an angry cat and pulls Hyunwook’s arm until he almost tumbles over on his face.
“Put some clothes on, it’s rude to be barely dressed when you have visitors,” he says, still dragging him until they’re both standing in front of his drawer.
While Sieun #2 goes through his clothes, the other Sieuns disperse and leave the room. Jihoon is still in the same place, his hands clenched by his sides and his eyes staring intently at Hyunwook.
Hyunwook, who is currently being dressed by Sieun #2.
Sieun #2 claps his hands once he finishes and grabs Hyunwook again, this time dragging him out of the room, and into the kitchen where the other Sieuns have set the table and are sitting down with their own plates in front of them.
He’s pushed into a chair just as Jihoon stomps his way into the kitchen too.
“Let’s eat, Suho-ya. It’s your favorite.” one of the Sieuns says, serving him a large amount of food while another Sieun fills his glass with orange juice.
Hyunwook looks curiously between all of them and feels himself relax.
They’re not that scary… it’s just Sieun.
Five of them, sure.
But still Sieun.
He nods to himself when they all turn once again to look at him.
He can handle five Sieuns.
“Thank you for the food!” Hyunwook says happily, ready to dig in with chopsticks in one hand and a spoon on the other.
Before he can even smell the food, something hits the back of his head with so much force he almost headbutts the table.
It was a slipper .
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” Jihoon yells out from behind him.
Oh, fuck. He almost forgot Jihoon wasn’t one of the Sieuns.
“Hyung!” Hyunwook cheers through the pain in his head, “Come eat.”
He reaches out with his spoon, expecting his hyung to take it and sit down to eat. Instead, Jihoon glares at him in such an extreme way it felt like the first time they met all over again.
Even the bells were ringing aggressively loudly against Hyunwook’s ears.
“You expect me to sit down and eat with them ?” Jihoon asks, his glare alternating to the Sieuns who stare back blankly.
“Well, they don’t seem all that bad. They’re just… Sieun.” Hyunwook mumbles, once again nodding to himself, “Although the staring and talking in unison is kinda creeping me out, still.”
Jihoon lets out a disgruntled noise and starts hitting Hyunwook very hard with another slipper.
“Are you out of your mind, you freak?!” he shouts, his hits only getting stronger with each word, “Stupid! Idiot! Asshole!”
Hyunwook reaches out his hands blindly to try and get the slipper out of the other’s grasp, but all in vain. He whines and whimpers loudly like a child being scolded.
“Yah, Sieun-ah! Stop hitting me!”
Jihoon gasps loudly and drops the slipper dramatically on the floor.
Hyunwook winces, raises his hand in Jihoon’s direction almost like a dog offering his paw.
“I meant Jihoon. Jihoon-ah! Jihoonie!”
The other’s expression hardened the more he spoke and Hyunwook felt himself shrink into the chair a little.
“Baby..?” he calls tentatively, his eyes darting around the kitchen.
Jihoon’s eyes flicker to the table in a quick motion and before Hyunwook knows, he’s getting orange juice spilled over his head.
“Fuck you, Choi Hyunwook! Fuck you and your stupid clones!”
And with that, Jihoon turns around to leave. His steps are loud and heavy against the floor as he huffs and puffs to himself.
Hyunwook is up and running at full speed towards Jihoon before he manages to make it very far. He wraps his arms around his waist and lifts him up, never minding the orange juice dripping all over the floor. Turning in the direction of his room, he smiles politely at the Sieuns still staring at them.
“Will you excuse us for a moment?” he asks, not waiting for an answer as he locks them inside his bedroom with Jihoon kicking and screaming.
“Jihoonie-hyung, please don’t leave. I’m sorry,” Hyunwook says against the back of his neck, and Jihoon only thrashes around harder. He sits down on the edge of his bed with Jihoon thrown over his lap.
God, he hopes orange juice is easy to wash off. He isn't very keen on smelling like fruit. Especially when his hyung had told him he liked his musky scent . He can’t risk having Park Jihoon think Hyunwook smells bad. What if he starts refusing to breathe near him?
“Let me go! You’re mean and evil, and I hate you!” he screams, elbowing Hyunwook on the ribs, “I hope I get five Suhos, and then I’m going to put you in a cardboard box and leave you outside in the rain where people will stop and say ‘Aw, he’s kinda cute, but we can’t afford to feed someone else’ until you become filled with rejection and run away to the countryside to become a farmer.”
Hyunwook snorts loudly against his ear and gains another jab to the ribs, making him double over enough for Jihoon to set himself free. He gets up and keeps going with his back turned to Hyunwook.
“And then you will die because you took your meds with something stupid like untreated goat milk and your seven cats will eat your body and no one will remember who you even were!”
Jihoon turns around to stare at him with his face red and his eyes angry and teary and so pretty. Hyunwook almost smiles but he feared for his bones.
“Hyung, are you jealous ?”
Jihoon inhales sharply and his face somehow manages to get redder.
“Why would I be jealous? You’re jealous.”
Hyunwook reaches out to wrap his arms around Jihoon’s waist and pulls him until he’s snug against his chest. He buries his nose in his hyung’s hair and inhales deeply.
Jihoon smelled like flowers.
“I will be jealous if you leave me in a cardboard box in the rain,” Hyunwook whines softly against his hair.
Jihoon shifts and Hyunwook tightens his grip, refusing to let the other go so soon. What if he really went looking for five Suhos? He couldn’t allow that to happen.
Instead, Jihoon slowly wraps his arms around Hyunwook’s shoulders and groans quietly.
“Don’t you have five Sieuns? Why would you need me too? Greedy.”
Hyunwook hums and nuzzles against his hair some more.
They stayed mostly silent for a while, occasionally squeezing each other, a bit hard at times. Jihoon’s still huffing with his breath hot against Hyunwook's chest.
Suddenly, Jihoon snaps his head up, accidentally knocking their noses together. There’s a certain look on his face. A bit constipated but also, determined.
Hyunwook rubs their noses together and gives him the world’s most endearing smile.
“Why do you look like you’re about to sneeze in my face?” he asks, moving them around until they were lying down, side by side, instead of sitting.
Jihoon’s constipated look only deepens.
“I’m trying to say something important.”
Hyunwook nods, leans in to press their foreheads together. He could feel how sticky his skin was against Jihoon’s. All thanks to the almost dried orange juice. But Jihoon didn't seem to mind much as he didn't pull away. Hyunwook felt like he was being drowned in a flowerfield.
Park Jihoon smelled too good. How did he walk outside without people frothing at the mouth over his smell? They didn’t know what they were missing.
“You-” Jihoon starts and stops right away. He’s going a bit cross-eyed in his effort to look at Hyunwook. He looked so freaking cute, Hyunwook could bite him.
Jihoon presses his hands against Hyunwook’s shoulders and pushes him back a bit so now they’re looking properly at each other.
“You can only be my Suho,” he says, his eyes wide and sparkly, “No one else’s. Not even if another hundred Sieuns appear. You are my Suho only. And I am your Sieun. Only yours.”
And if that isn’t a love confession, Hyunwook will actually throw himself head first off the building. He feels hope rising at the speed of light inside his chest and his hands ache to pull Jihoon even closer until they’re breathing in each other’s mouths.
Was this the moment in the movie where they finally admitted their feelings and got together? Were they finally getting married and adopting three dogs?
Jihoon continues, interrupting his train of thoughts, “What I’m trying to say is-” he pauses to take a deep breath, “I like you. So, don’t look at the other Sieuns or anyone else. Only look at me. It’s not like anyone else would color coordinate your meds so you don’t mix them up and die.”
Hyunwook grins so hard he thinks his face will stay stuck like that forever.
“This is so much better than a ranch party.”
Jihoon snorts so loudly that for a moment Hyunwook is concerned about his nose.
“Is that your answer to my feelings? Are you serious?”
Pulling him even closer, Hyunwook says, “I like you so much. I will throw the Sieuns in the fireplace to keep you warm and happy.”
Jihoon giggles and Hyunwook feels his soul leave his body altogether.
“You can’t do that. You’ll go to jail.”
“Would you visit me if I was arrested?”
“No.”
“Right, I thought so. You would be too busy with your monk duties.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Hyunwook squeezes Jihoon’s face in between his hands and leans closer.
“Can we kiss now? I think we should kiss now.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes, closing the distance between them in a short and sweet kiss. Much like him, in Hyunwook’s opinion. Their kiss tastes like oranges and everything Hyunwook has ever wanted.
He leans back in, kissing him again. And again. And again again again.
They kiss until their lips are swollen and Jihoon is gasping for air and letting out tiny whimpers that will be forever recorded in Hyunwook’s head.
The bells ring and ring and ring in his ears and Hyunwook thinks he’s going deaf, but it’s all good.
Park Jihoon likes him back.
The ceiling could fall on him right now and he would die happy.
They only break apart for good when Jihoon covers Hyunwook’s mouth with his hands to keep him from actually devouring him.
“Hey, shouldn’t we check on the Sieuns?”
Hyunwook whines against the palm of his hands and gives him his best puppy eyes, “Who cares? Let's kiss more.”
Jihoon shakes his head, a small smile on his lips and presses his hands further into Hyunwook’s face. His hands were also kinda blocking his nose, so Hyunwook felt like he was going to pass out at any minute, but he didn’t care very much. He liked looking at Jihoon from this angle — his messy hair, red lips and sparkly eyes.
“First we check on the Sieuns. Maybe then we can kiss more.”
Hyunwook tries to protest but can’t really say much at this point.
Jihoon pulls his hands back and jumps up from the bed, his hand stretching out to help Hyunwook up too.
Just as he’s about to grab him, Jihoon pulls his hand back, making him fall face first on the bed.
“Too slow. Move it!”
Hyunwook pouts as Jihoon skips out of the room without looking back. If his eyes glanced down at his ass, Jihoon would never know since the latter had abandoned him out in the cold.
He moves to follow like he’s in a trance.
The Sieuns had cleaned up the kitchen and were all sitting on the floor of the living room, playing cards. Hyunwook didn’t even know he had cards in his house.
Jihoon crosses his arms and stares down at them, “So, how do we get rid of you?”
The Sieuns all shrug at the same time, making Hyunwook shiver as he approaches to drape himself over Jihoon’s back.
“What if we’re stuck with them forever? Does that mean we have five kids?” Hyunwook asks Jihoon quietly next to his ear.
Jihoon hums, turns his head a little to look at Hyunwook and says, “At least they all look like me. So no one will question us.”
Hyunwook squeezes Jihoon’s waist ever so gently and kisses his cheek loudly. Jihoon wanted to have babies with him, he was going to die of happiness.
“I’m sure we will leave eventually.” one of the Sieuns said, “Don’t worry about us, we can take care of ourselves.”
Jihoon pouts with a conflicted look in his eyes. His deep attachment to Sieun seemed to be finally coming out now that he didn’t see them as a threat.
Slowly, Jihoon moves to sit on the couch, dragging Hyunwook along with him.
“Hey, so,” he starts, “Where are your Suhos?”
The five Sieuns immediately looked at Hyunwook who in return waves with a freaked-out look on his face.
Jihoon shakes his head and moves closer to Hyunwook in an attempt to cover him with his own body.
“This is not your Suho. This is my Suho. So where are yours?”
At that, the Sieuns looked down, and they all looked so terribly sad, Hyunwook almost reached out to comfort them. The fact they all looked exactly like Jihoon didn’t help at all.
“Suho is in the hospital,” one Sieun says.
“He got hurt because of me,” says another.
It was a story they knew perfectly as they were there to play the part too. On their side of the universe, it was just a story. But to the Sieuns, it was real life. And they all lost their best friend.
Jihoon sniffs loudly next to Hyunwook, and he immediately reaches out to comfort his best friend. His Sieun . He pats his head softly and wipes his tears with his thumb, pouting down at him.
“If you cry, I’m going to start crying too,” he says with a shaky voice.
Jihoon laughs weakly and nuzzles his face against Hyunwook’s palm before composing himself and turning his attention back to the Sieuns.
“I know it’s hard, but you can’t just get up and run to the next Suho that appears. You need to go back and face your reality,” he scolds them and then adds more gently, “It’ll be okay. Your Suho will come back. I promise you that.”
The Sieuns seem to take it to heart, all of them getting teary-eyed with Jihoon’s words, and they all say ‘thank you’ in union. Hyunwook only feels a little creeped out.
Clapping his hands, Jihoon gets up from the couch and turns to look down at Hyunwook.
“Go wash up and let's get some food for lunch. We have five extra people to feed!”
And so they go.
They buy so much fried chicken that Hyunwook almost wishes it was all just for him. . And maybe he wished too hard because when they come back, Hyunwook’s apartment is empty, no Sieuns in sight.
The only evidence that they were there was a piece of paper saying:
Let's all be happy together in every universe.
Jihoon cries so hard while eating his fried chicken, Hyunwook is worried he will get indigestion. He rubs his face clean in gentle motions with some tissues and Jihoon smiles at him close-mouthed and cheeks full.
“I hope the other Sieuns are as lucky as me,” he whispers softly, blushing afterward with his own words.
Hyunwook pinches his cheek, “Well, I know for a fact I got the cutest Sieun.”
Jihoon flicks his hand and scrunches his nose in mock disgust, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say.”
Hyunwook has a crush.
Something too big to fit inside his body.
Something that makes him act like an idiot at times.
And thanks to five Sieuns, he finally found out his crush likes him back.