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Suguru had never been one to be impulsive, but ever since the day that he finally snapped, everything started to come to him with much more ease. He didn’t have to overthink anymore, nor stew over trivial things, except for one thing that he simply couldn’t let slip.
It had been months since that day.
At first, he thought that he could look away and leave Satoru to make his own mistakes, after all, there was meaning in that too, right? But, he didn’t like the reality of it. The idea that Satoru would be ground up until there was nothing left of him didn’t sit right with him at all. A part of him even resented Satoru for doing so, feeling offended that he would rather choose a system that didn’t care over him—who had been with him through everything else.
Not that they talked much about what happened after Riko. It was as if it all went quiet and everyone else, for that matter, seemed fine with pushing him away.
Just one call to talk things over wouldn’t hurt, would it?
He wouldn’t do anything, at least not right away.
Suguru’s fingers trembled as he picked up the phone, flipping it open. He still had Satoru’s number saved in his contacts. The device rang and rang, but he never picked up, leading him straight to the voice mail.
Just as he was about to hang up, he had a change of heart. Wetting his lips, he sighed into the speaker, fixing his voice into something once familiar, “Meet me at the usual spot tomorrow? At 3? Just to talk.”
He then hung up, thinking nothing of it. In a way, he almost didn’t want to go, still apprehensive about being around non-sorcerers, especially after all that he had done. He wanted to sit and fester in the temple he decided to call his new home, but he just couldn’t go completely silent on Satoru.
After all, he missed him more than he wanted to admit.
The cafe was bustling by the time he got there and he took up a seat in the corner booth. Suguru sat there for a while, just thinking this whole thing over and partially getting cold feet. He had his fingers clasped in his hands with his eyes pointed down at the table, but then, a clink caught his attention.
A mug settled on the table and slid over to him, filling the air with fresh brewed black coffee. As he lifted his chin, he met with a truly disgusting concoction with a whipped cream finish, with Satoru’s lips settling on the straw. Neither of them spoke for a while, but then Satoru broke the silence with a soft sigh.
Suguru stared at him, taking note of the tension on his shoulders. His tinted glasses just barely covering the under eye bags that coloured his skin.
Before he could say something, anything, Satoru spoke first.
“Why?”
Suguru blinked at him, catching his tongue between his teeth. He then leaned back, stretching out his hands and cracking his knuckles. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”
Satoru scoffed but he refined his question, his mind in slight disbelief that he had to spell it out to the guy. “Let’s start with the most obvious – why’d you kill those villagers?”
Suguru didn’t reply for a moment, realising that no matter how much time would pass, that the wounds would always be fresh to Satoru. He tapped his finger along the curved edge of the glass, thinking over his response. In the end, nothing would be a good enough answer.
“It had to be done,” he replied coldly, narrowing his eyes, “the conditions they kept the girls in were inhumane.”
Satoru clenched his jaw, biting back the urge to yell at him.
Suguru continued, “I mean, I’ve seen rats in better living conditions. Can you really blame me?”
“I get it,” Satoru strained out, curling his hands into fists and then hiding them under the table, “but murdering those villagers? Shit, Suguru, that’s not what we are. That’s not how we do things. There’s still a chance to change things, you know? You could have educated them—“
Suguru snapped, cutting him off within an instant. “—Educate them?” he scoffed. “You’re still so fucking delusional.”
Satoru quietened down, looking away from him. He gulped thickly, unsure just how much else he was willing to take. Maybe coming here was a mistake, he was surely starting to regret it. Then again, at the same time, he still felt that he had the right to know.
“You think that the people that we have to protect would care about us the same way?” Suguru continued, leaning in that time as he settled his elbows on the table. “Even if they knew all about this whole mess we’re caught up in, they wouldn’t want to understand. You get that right?”
He then paused, scoffing out a laugh before letting his smile falter into something colder.
“Satoru,” he finalised, “those people had to go.”
Satoru lips fell open but he couldn’t bring himself to reply. Instead, all he could do was just stare at him with rising unease. How could this have been the same person that he was rolling around on a bicycle with just months before?
Suguru, all the while, simply leaned back and widened his legs, relaxing a bit. For a split second, he thought that he was finally getting through to Satoru, so he spoke again, trying to drive that point home even more.
“You know, Satoru,” he started, “I thought about you every day ever since I left. Every fucking day.”
“Yeah?” Satoru replied, though his tone was flat.
“Yeah,” Suguru confirmed, “and you know what I kept thinking about?”
Satoru huffed some air out from his lips, the act moving his hair up slightly. “What’s that?”
“How I just can’t…” Suguru trailed off, catching himself before he admitted to something darker too soon. He couldn’t say just yet, so he settled on something easier to digest. “How I can’t lose you to them, Satoru. You’re so much better off without everyone.”
Satoru, however, finally had it. He shot up to his feet, slamming his fist onto the table, making the cup and glass slightly jump from the impact. “You already lost me,” he spat out before lowering his voice, taking the initiative to bow and quickly apologise to the other customers, “you lost me from the moment you did all of those things. I mean, come on Suguru, killing your own family? Why?”
Another silence fell over them both, threatening to consume them the longer that the seconds ticked by.
In the end, all Suguru did was shrug. His voice was level and a little too calm given the gravity of what he had done. “The weak deserve to be culled. That’s all. It wasn’t personal.”
Satoru’s eye twitched. “It wasn’t fucking personal to kill your own mother?”
“Yes,” he nodded, “and she had no place in my idea of a perfect society. If she understood then she would—“
“—she would what?” Satoru cut him off. “Drop dead on her own?”
Suguru took a deep breath and sighed, choosing not to reply to his question but the silence was telling. All Satoru could do was stare at him in horror as he him prattle on without a hint of care in his voice.
“Both Jujutsu society and everyone else in this cafe right now would sacrifice us both if it meant saving themselves,” Suguru continued, “that’s what it means to be a sorcerer today.”
Suguru shook his head. “But—“
“—They’re responsible for their own demise,” Suguru pressed on, “all of that negativity they carry that gets converted into literal manifested hatred, is their own fault – yeah, I get it, you want to save them from themselves because you’re the strongest, right? I get it. I won’t even deny it, Satoru. But…” he trailed off, letting the words linger a little before wrapping it up. “That’s because your fate was predetermined. You were meant to be born. You were meant to do great things.”
Suguru’s voice then dropped even lower.
“The only ones that have ever cared about you beyond all of that, were me and Shoko. Maybe Kento. Shit, even Haibara…”
Satoru paused. “Haibara tried—“
“—He died for nothing, Satoru,” Suguru said, “he was so fucking hopeful and for what?”
He left the words hanging in the air before continuing.
“Look, if you stay tied up to that system, Satoru, then you’re going to die just like him and, all alone for that matter. And so will everyone else you love.”
Satoru sighed as he slumped back into his seat, rubbing at his eyes beneath his glasses. It took no time at all for Suguru Geto, his once best friend, to turn into someone that he couldn’t even recognise anymore. The heartbreak anchored in his gut like a heavy blow.
“Is there any way you can just come back?” he asked weakly.
Suguru laughed. “Not a chance. I’m a wanted criminal now, remember?”
Satoru could only frown, desperately searching for something—anything—that could take his mind off of the bleak reality. He grabbed the empty glass, sipping on empty air.
Suguru finally found his opportunity, leaning back, mirroring the despair that seemed to settle in the air. “But, we can walk around for a bit if you’d like.”
Satoru paused, tilting his head at him.
“We can?” he asked, not quite trusting him.
“Yeah, I mean…” Suguru trailed off, dipping his hand into his pocket and taking out a tin of hard boiled sweets. “I got you these – your favourite right? Let’s take the old route down and we can pretend that we’re two idiots walking our way home, just like like we used to. Just without Shoko to keep us in line.”
Satoru stared at him for a while, but then slowly nodded. He left a bit of cash on the table before getting up, walking outside with Suguru in tow, snatching the tin of sweets right from his pocket. Suguru, of course, didnt stop him.
The walk was relatively quiet and uneventful. For some reason, Satoru couldn’t bring himself to joke around like he used to. He popped the sweets into his mouth one at a time every five minutes, but with every step he took, his movements started to grow sluggish. It was as if time was slowing down. He paused as this happened, determining that there was no foul Jujutsu at play and yet, everything started to weigh down on him—the sounds of the city blurring into white noise—dull and distant.
Upon reaching an underpass, his legs finally gave out with enough force to make him lose his balance. He stumbled forward and Suguru caught him, blinking up with a flushed complexion colouring his cheeks. He felt cold and warm at the same time and his vision swam.
“I-I don’t feel so good…” he admitted.
Suguru held onto his shoulders to keep him from falling onto the ground, but he didn’t seem too concerned. “Of course you don’t,” he calmly replied.
Alarm bells set off in Satoru’s head as both confusion and betrayal overwhelmed him. “You did this? Why?”
Suguru didn’t give away his intentions right away, but his eyes glinted with something darker.
“Because I love you, Satoru, that’s why.”
Satoru tried to pry himself away from his grip but whatever the sweets were laced in were too strong and already, likely mixed deep into his system. He frowned, trying to make Suguru see reason. “You’re betraying me, Suguru, how can that be love?”
Suguru lost his smile but kept that same coaxing tone. His voice sounded almost lazy, but that could have been from everything slurring at this point. “Sometimes love can lead you to do bad things,” he bitterly confessed, “but worry not, it’s all for your own good. I’m going to make sure to save you from yourself, Satoru and…”
He trailed off, watching as his eyelids fluttered shut, as his body began to melt into his touch.
“And…” he concluded, “I’m going to make sure that nobody will ever find you again… but that’s only if you let me.”
When Satoru next awoke, he did so in the dark. The walls had a musty smell to them and felt oppressive as they hugged around where he sat. There were bars in front of him, but the gate was open. He could easily just get up and leave if he wanted to.
On the other side of the bars, Suguru stood there in complete silence with his arms crossed. He looked at Satoru bitterly as he came around, before breaking the silence. “This isn’t too different from how I found the girls—Nanako and Mimiko—in, you know. Literal kids held up in these conditions. Would you call that humane?”
Satoru leaned forward but he ended up stumbling. The drugs were still clouding his ability to think clearly, but that wasn’t the only thing that stopped him from reacting properly. There was also the sheer weight of what Suguru had committed that kept him grounded.
He could only shake his head in silence.
“Yeah,” Suguru scoffed, “that’s what I thought.”
He then stepped closer, opening up the barred gate and walking right into the cell. Suguru didn’t bother closing the door, knowing that he had Satoru right where he wanted him.
“Want to know why they did that?” he asked him, not giving him a chance to say anything if he wanted to before he continued. “It’s because they see people like us as monsters. It’s easier to lock something up that you’re scared of. It’s easier to kill something before you can understand—“
Satoru pushed himself back to lean up against the wall, cutting Suguru off before he could finish. “—Are you listening to yourself? You’re acting like the very people you hate. You can see that, right?”
Suguru’s lips twitched to the side, scoffing out a half laugh. “You think I wanted to do that? Is that right? You think I enjoyed becoming the bad guy?” he shot back, crouching in front of Satoru before propping a finger below his jaw, tilting his chin up to meet with his gaze. “I just did what had to be done. That’s all.”
He then let him go, stand back up.
“You’re free to go if you want,” Suguru then reminded him. “I won’t stop you.”
However, try as Satoru might, he couldn’t bring himself to move from that spot. The betrayal hurt too much and leaving now would mean potentially never seeing Suguru again. A part of him couldn’t accept that, so he allowed himself to settle into the cell, bound by unseen shackles that weighed him down with all of the strength in the world.
Suguru would sometimes come by, too, no longer carrying any shred of malice in his tone. His words came out softer and closer to how he used to speak. He would even crack jokes, but it was up to Satoru or not if he laughed at them. Most of the time, he didn’t.
The days would stretch on just like that. Suguru found himself eventually needing to take care of him before he withered away entirely. He’d bring him over to the main part of the temple and help him bathe. He’d make him eat with the slowly growing found family, and sometimes—he would kiss away the tears that spilled down his cheeks—pulling back when Satoru protested too much. Though, if Satoru did allow it, then Suguru would hold him close, always stopping himself before his hands explored further than he should.
Satoru, in the meanwhile, never once tried to escape. If it meant seeing Suguru act closer to the guy he remembered him as, then it was easier to just go along with it all.
Anything facing the bitter truth of it all.
Anything but seeing him for who he truly was.