Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Relax into it." Jean's accented English is a murmur as he rests his hands on Jeremy's hips. Jeremy focuses harder on his breathing, letting the padded stocks hold more of his weight. It's just them. They both like this. Jeremy reminds himself that everything in this room is private.

All his reactions are just for Jean. He can shed all the layers of people he feels he needs to be outside.

Jeremy shivers as Jean's fingertips trail down his left thigh and calf. Jean wraps a large hand around Jeremy's ankle and fastens a padded cuff. He nudges Jeremy's legs farther apart, and when Jeremy shifts, Jean quickly secures the other cuff. The spreader bar forces Jeremy's legs to stay slightly further than shoulder-width apart.

Instinctively, Jeremy's thighs twitch in an attempt to shut his legs. His cock gets harder knowing he can't and he's left open, exposed, and vulnerable to Jean.

Jean's fingers trace up to the inside of Jeremy's leg, and Jeremy fights the urge to wiggle. Jean cups his heavy sack, rolling his balls in his palm while Jeremy gasps for air. He pushes onto his toes, and Jean pushes his back down.

"Tell me what we're doing," Jean says, moving away from Jeremy. Jeremy whines, shaking his head.

"The crop and then you'll fuck me," he mumbles, eyes tight shut. His eyes had been closed most of the time, even though he knows Jean will end that behavior soon.

"Jeremy, open your eyes," Jean says sternly, "and you can do better than that." Jeremy stares at the floor, taking a deep breath.

"The crop first. Until I'm red," Jeremy says, trying not to see the way his cock twitches.

The room is special. There are floor-to-ceiling mirrors on every wall, and Jean added special ones under and behind Jeremy so he could see himself. Jean wants Jeremy to see how beautiful he is. He wants to ease Jeremy's worries and work through the shame Jeremy feels over what he likes. And it works.

But the mirrors still suck.

Jeremy tries to look away from his leaking dick, but then his eyes snag on his nipples, his ass, or his face. Jeremy shuts his eyes again. "No more than 10 n my cock or balls or hole."

"Mmm and?" Jean asks. Jeremy can feel him frowning, but can't open his eyes again.

"And then you'll fuck me," Jeremy says quickly. He hears Jean moving.

"And?" Jean asks and stands to Jeremy's right. Jeremy can feel Jean's body heat.

"And I don't get to cum," Jeremy whispers, a shiver running through him. It's hips choice not to cum, but he wants to take it back. Jeremy curls his toes, cock throbbing at the idea of being denied. Jean's hand slides through his hair, digging in and tugging his head up. Jeremy reluctantly opens his eyes and lifts them to Jean's.

"Good. Now tell me again while looking at me," Jean says. The command sends a shiver through Jeremy.

"Jean!" Jeremy whines, face heating.

"Tell me, Jeremy," Jean says. His fingers caress the side of Jeremy's face as his other hand tightened in Jeremy's hair. Jeremy groans. He can feel his cock dripping. He looks at Jean, pouting. "Tell me," Jean says again.

"I… you are going to," Jeremy swallows hard, the word sticking in his throat, "spank me with the crop," he whispers.

"Where?"

"Jean," Jeremy whines, but Jean only gives him a look. Jeremy sighs. "My ass and… balls and cock."

"And then?" Jean prompts, running his thumb over Jeremy's lips. Jeremy blushes brighter. Jean pins him with his gray gaze. Jeremy's cock gets impossibly harder.

"You're going to fuck me and I'm not going to cum."

Another small smile graces Jean's lips. "Good boy, Jeremy," he murmurs, patting his cheek. Jeremy wheezes, shuddering as he soaks in the praise. He feels his cock leak and eagerness with a hint of shame burns through him. Jean ruffles his hair and whispers in French before stepping away. It leaves Jeremy panting.

He tracks Jean around the room, eyes snagging on his spread ass. Jeremy groans, dropping his head and shutting his eyes. Jean clucks his tongue in disappointment.

"It's a good ass," Jean says, digging his fingers into the meat of one cheek. Jeremy knows it, he looks good, but …

"It's embarrassing," Jeremy complains. He knows Jean is probably rolling his eyes, and all other thoughts empty from Jeremy's head as Jean touches his with the crop.

Jean runs the leather tongue over Jeremy's thigh. Jeremy's toes curl in anticipation. He tries to ignore his ragged breathing.

"Arch your back more, Jeremy." Jean trails the leather up his spine as Jeremy dips his back further. They stretch burns briefly through his legs, and he loves it. "Good boy," Jean murmurs. Jeremy pushes his ass higher. Jean hums and Jeremy ignores his cock twitching. More precum splatters onto the mirror. "Even better."

The crop rests against one cheek before tapping lightly a few times. Jeremy shuts his eyes, but Jean clucks his tongue. Jeremy reluctantly opens his eyes.

The first whack makes Jeremy's toes curl. He sucks in a sharp breath. It doesn't hurt, but the sting is prominent. "Keep your eyes open. Watch me," Jean says. Jean waits for Jeremy to make eye contact before dropping his eyes to Jeremy's ass.

Jeremy keeps his eyes on Jean as he starts slapping the crop against Jeremy's ass with quick precision. It takes a moment before grunts and groans start slipping past Jeremy's lips. It's another before he starts squirming. He instinctively tries pulling away from the crop, but it's useless. There's nowhere to go, and Jean won't let him go that easily.

His ass is turning pink. He still has tan lines from his swimsuit, but the few times he got to tan nude on the balcony have helped make his ass less glaringly white. But the pink is still bright, darkening with every hit.

"Arch your back, Jeremy," Jean says calmly. Jeremy tries to take a deep breath. His eyes water, and he shakes slightly, arching his back again. "Good." The crop slides over the heated skin on his heavy balls. Jean lifts them with the crop, looking at Jeremy in the mirror.

It's terrifying, but what scares Jeremy more is how much he wants it.

"Yes," Jeremy whispers, almost sobs, and Jean smacks his balls with the crop. The reaction is instant. Jeremy jerks, letting out a low moan as he squeezes his watery eyes shut.

Jean's hand is warm on his hip as he waits for Jeremy to settle. Jeremy takes another deep breath and opens his eyes, catching Jean's eye.

"Watch your balls this time," Jean says.

"Jean," Jeremy whines, even though it's always the natural progression of things.

"Watch." Jean's tone is strict.

Jeremy whines again but droops his eyes to the reflection of his aching cock and balls. Precum has dripped all over the mirror, obscuring the sight, but he can see enough. His cock and balls are flushed, and he whimpers when the black edge of the crop caresses his sack.

"I hate this," Jeremy complains, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"Ask me."

Jeremy squirms, trying to control his breathing. There's nowhere to go, and eventually, he whispers, "Please another," without taking his eyes away.

The crop moves, and Jeremy holds his breath, letting it wheeze out of his chest when the crop makes contact. He jerks again, his legs threatening to buckle as he sobs. Jean presses down his spine, hushing him.

"Just one more Jeremy, and one of your cock," Jean says and Jeremy groans miserably. "Eyes on you."

Jeremy sobs.

"I can't," he whispers, closing his eyes. He hears Jean move and feels his fingers card through his hair. A soft, warm cloth wipes tears from his cheeks.

"Yes, you can, Jeremy," Jean says, and Jeremy shakes his head.

"I don't want to see."

"You're enjoying yourself. That's nothing to be ashamed of." Jeremy knows it isn't, but it always feels…

"But why?" he sobs. He hates that it constantly circles back to this—the same conversation no matter the predicament, and Jean's sure hands to guide him through.

"Jeremy. We cannot help what we enjoy," Jean says, kissing his forehead. "Sometimes there are reasons, and sometimes there simply aren't. You taught me that."

"I know I just." Jeremy takes a shuddering breath. Jean presses a soft kiss to his lips.

"I'm right here," Jean tells him.

That does settle something in Jeremy. Months and years of promising Jean the same thing had allowed for this shift in their relationship. Jeremy sniffles, and Jean kisses the top of his head.

"I love all parts of you, Jeremy," Jean whispers, murmuring in quieter French. Fresh tears drip down Jeremy's face.

"I love you, too," he sobs, and Jean holds him for a few long minutes, whispering praise until Jeremy settles.

*

Jeremy's heart pounds as he stares at himself, face flushed and wet with tears, hands clenched, toes curled. He chews his lower lip, lifting his eyes to Jean behind him. "Another, please," he says with a shudder. He feels the crop against his balls again, and Jean waits until he drops his eyes to his reflection before smacking them.

Jeremy watches the pain ripple through his face before squeezing his eyes shut with a yelp. His muscles are tense and the pain hasn't dissipated before Jean slaps the crop against his dick. Jeremy jerks hard, and Jean holds his hips to keep him on his feet.

"Fuck," Jeremy hisses. He wants to close his legs, and since he can't, it's making everything feel so much more. Jeremy hangs his head, sagging against the stocks. "Fuck," he says again, trying to catch his breath.

"Watch yourself," Jean reminds him. Jeremy whines but drags his eyes up to meet his reflection. His hair is sweaty, and his face is red and blotchy. Jean's thumb strokes over Jeremy's hole, and he shivers. Jean remains impassive behind him, but his face is flushed, and a thin sheen of sweat is coating his skin. Jeremy knows the sight before him affects Jean more than he lets on. Jeremy wiggles his red ass for Jean.

Jean narrows his eyes, and Jeremy grins. Jean mutters something in French and moves to take off his pants. Jeremy watches in the mirror, groaning loudly when Jean frees his long, thick dick. It's hard and shiny at the tip. It's the same angry red as Jeremy's. Jeremy's mouth instantly waters, and he swallows down a whine.

Jeremy's eyes follow Jean's hand as he strokes his dick a few times, covering it in lube.

"You prepped?" Jean asks. He asked before they even started, and Jeremy knows Jean could tell from his view, but he still nods.

"Yeah," he says, tracking Jean as he moves behind him. Jean squeezes his cheeks, and Jeremy hisses, trying to wiggle away.

"Watch yourself, Jeremy. Remember, you do not cum," Jean tells him. Jeremy's eye roll is cut off by a sharp slap to his already aching ass. "Jeremy."

"Sorry," he mumbles and lets his gaze settle on his face. He chews on his lip, but the moment Jean rubs his cock against his hole Jeremy's mouth falls open in a small moan. It turns to a gasp when Jean pushes the tip in.

Jeremy hates how debauched he already looks and how desperate he already feels, but he does his best to be good and keep his eyes open and locked on himself.

"See how much you like this, Jeremy," Jean says, rocking deeper.

"You like it, too," Jeremy protests, earning him a small smile from Jean.

"I do. I like it very much, Jeremy," he says, sliding home, eyes slipping closed as he moans. Jeremy whines and gasps, clenching around Jean's massive cock. It feels like it's splitting him open, but all he wants is more.

Jeremy's dazed eyes drift over his face. Mouth opening and panting, whining for more. He craves a rough thrust from Jean. His cock throbs, ignored between his legs and that just makes the blood in his veins hotter.

"More," Jeremy begs.

"Already?" Jean raises an eyebrow. "Are you that desperate? Desperate like a dog?" Jean grinds against him, and it makes Jeremy's head spin.

"Yes!" Jeremy cries. "Please, Jean, more. Please. Please, I want it," Jeremy pleads. Jean pretends to contemplate it, hands sliding up Jeremy's torso to pinch his nipples. Jeremy jerks with a gasp. Jean doesn't let go until Jeremy is squirming and whimpering. "Mean," Jeremy whines.

"You are cute when you are like this." Jean smirks, letting go of his nipples. Jeremy turns impossibly redder, dropping his head with a groan. He stares at his leaking cock and clenches around Jean in retaliation. Jean grinds impossibly deeper. Jeremy groans.

"Please," Jeremy pleads.

"Shh, shh," Jean murmurs, slowly pulling out. He waits with just the tip stretching Jeremy's hole wide until Jeremy catches his eye in the mirror. Jean snaps his hips forward. Jeremy cries out as Jean's cock drives into him. Jeremy gasps, crying out as Jean keeps up a relentless pace.

Jeremy lets the stocks hold his weight, head lolling as he gasps and cries. He catches his poor aching cock slapping against his stomach and dripping everywhere as it's ignored. His hands strain to touch himself. Frustrated tears slide down his face.

"I want you to touch me," he sobs.

"Non," Jean says easily. Jeremy cries harder. His cock slaps against his belly with each hard thrust. His hole feels stretched, bullied open by Jean's dick. Jean's cock presses against his tender prostate with every thrust.

"Please," Jeremy whines, sobbing. He's so turned on that he feels like he's going to explode. Begging feels like a release. He needs to ask even though he knows Jean won't.

"Non, Jeremy," Jean says again, murmuring in French as he strokes Jeremy's sweaty spine. Jeremy cries. His sobs mix with moans and frustrated snarls as he takes every rough thrust. He struggles and squirms until he's exhausted and notices Jean breathing heavily behind him.

"Close?" Jeremy asks, both ready and not wanting the pleasure to be over. He glances at his sweaty, teary reflection. Embarrassment makes him blush, so Jeremy raises his eyes to Jean.

"Yes," he says, gripping Jeremy's hips tightly, pounding into him. The lock on the stocks rattles. Jeremy gasps with each thrust until Jean grinds in deep, dropping his chin to his chest and cumming with a low moan.

Jeremy groans as he's filled. His cock twitches, aching to be touched. The frustration brings about a new wave of tears.

"It's okay, Jeremy," Jean says quietly, rubbing his sides. You are such a good boy." The praise makes him cry harder, so Jean keeps praising him even as he slips out and brings over a bench. Jean coaxes Jeremy to rest his shaky legs, so he's kneeling.

Jeremy lets himself drift, sniffling as he listens. His body is buzzing, demanding release, and he's doing his best to calm down.

Jean cards his fingers through Jeremy's hair as he unlocks the stocks. "When I release you, I want your hands on me, okay? I know you want to touch your cock, but you can't."

Jeremy nods. "Do you have my collar?"

"Right here. I'll put it on and we'll sit on the floor until you can stand in the shower<" Jean says—a regular routine. Jeremy nods again.

Jean lifts the stocks. Jeremy sighs in relief, and Jean pulls him out. Jeremy sags back against Jean with a shaky breath. He feels like a rag doll. Jeremy wraps his hands around Jean's forearm. It's a huge struggle not to touch his throbbing cock.

Jean gets them on the floor. Jeremy splayed out ass up between his legs and resting against his chest.

"Here." Jean lifts the brown leather collar to Jeremy's neck. Jeremy immediately wraps his hands around it, sighing happily. He feels settled with his collar back. It's easier to ignore his erection this way.

"Thanks, Jean," Jeremy says, kissing Jean's chest. Jean buckles the collar and wraps an arm around Jeremy. He rakes the other hand through Jeremy's hair.

"You were perfect, Jeremy."

Jeremy smiles, nuzzling closer.