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Kakashi stared up at the dark, cloudy sky above him. Rain fell, gently pelting his bare face, as frigid, muddy water seeped into his clothes beneath him, but he was too far gone to care.
Another mission gone wrong, another team slaughtered because he was too slow, too weak, not the genius everyone thought he was. They already called him ‘friend-killer,’ what would they say about him now? These men had not been his friends. He hadn't known their true names, never even seen their faces.
And yet their deaths weighed upon him, pressing him into the sodden earth with suffocating force.
Why was it never him?
The Kami must know how he longed for death, ached for it.
His life had been one long—short really, he was barely twenty-three—tale of agony and heartache. His mother abandoning him, dying of cholera when he was two, was just the first. Every single person that ever loved him, that he had loved, that he even passingly cared for died. Besides his mother, it always seemed to be his fault.
Lying there in the mud and rain, covered in the blood of his comrades, Kakashi felt completely desolate.
The clouds shifted, parting above him to reveal a sliver of twinkling night sky. A single flash of beauty in an otherwise bleak and wretched scene. As the small opening in the clouds moved, a flash of light streaked, a shooting star.
A gasping breath escaped his tight, aching lungs.
It seemed almost miraculous that he'd even seen it.
Something small and painful lodged itself in his throat.
Hope.
In that rare moment, buoyed by the unfamiliar feeling, Kakashi did something he had never dared do before.
He prayed.
Kami-sama
If you can hear me…
If this life isn't a punishment for some crime I can't recall… Please, please help me.
I'm so tired of all this pain.
I'm so tired of being alone. Of losing everyone.
I want to feel loved again, so so badly. I can hardly even remember what it's like.
I want to know that special kind of peace found in connection, in companionship, in love.
I… I just don't want to be alone anymore.
Please
Send me someone to love. Let her be strong so I won't have to fear for her with my every breath. Let her be sweet and tender because I’m so bitter and broken.
Let her be bright and… and flashy and colorful so I'll know her when I see her.
He tried to imagine the most absurd thing he could think of. Something to stand out, to be noticed.
Let her be pink.
The rain fell, the chill seeped into his bones, and Kakashi sighed.
But if that's too much… Please just let me die. Take me out of this miserable life. I can't do it myself, but I don't know how much longer I can go on.
The clouds shifted again, hiding the stars from view, taking with them the fleeting flush of hope. All that remained was empty heartache and a feeling of foolishness.
As if the Kami cared at all for him. If they even existed, surely they would mock him to themselves for his pathetic request and only heap more misery upon him just for spite.
Unfortunately, backup had come and dragged Kakashi home, still alive. After a handful of hours in the hospital he'd escaped and gone home to wallow in his despair alone as usual. Only the pangs of hunger after days without food pulled him from his dark apartment. Well, that, and his pushy summons. Pakkun got insistent and bitey when he stopped taking care of himself.
The market was crowded with civilians and shinobi alike, going about their day to day. Dull greens and blues, earth tones and the occasional red painted sign blurred in his half focused vision as he followed his nose to something they might like to eat.
“Shit, what the—”
Kakashi nearly tripped over… a cat? It was small and calico and wound itself around his ankle once before darting off.
Pakkun—who for all his higher intelligence and ability to speak, still hated cats—took off after the thing, barking his wrinkled little head off.
“Wait, Pakkun, stop!” Not thinking, he took off after the pug, weaving between his fellow market goers with half-hearted bows and mumbled apologies for bumped shoulders and trod upon toes.
“Oh! Oh my—hey, stop that, you rascal!”
He finally caught up to Pakkun, jumping all over some poor woman's legs. Snatching him up in his arms, he chided him for running off. “What the hell, Pakkun? Chasing a cat? Really?” Shaking his head, exasperated as well as hungry, Kakashi stood fully to apologize for his summons—
.
.
.
But his breath caught in his throat.
Impossible.
The noisy street faded to a background hum as he stared down at the answer to his foolish prayer.
“Oh my goodness, you poor kitty. Was that mean old doggy chasing you?”
Probably the prettiest girl he'd ever seen held the cat that had nearly tripped him to her chest with one arm. She nuzzled her cheek against the top of its head and hummed, delighted. In her other hand, she held a half eaten stick of sweet dango, currently in danger of plummeting to the ground as the cat squirmed.
Wide green eyes peered curiously up at him. “Um, hello. Is this your cat?”
Tongue glued to the roof of his mouth, completely unable to speak, Pakkun spoke for him. “Of course not! Boss wouldn't keep such a useless, flea-bitten beast!”
Her eyes widened impossibly and filled with interest and mirth. “Oh? A summons? This is just a plain ole alley cat you've been terrorizing.” She tutted. “Shouldn't a higher creature like yourself be above such petty things?”
Pakkun snorted. “Flattery will get you nowhere, female.”
This amused her, her laughter a light, whimsical sound that made Kakashi's heart race.
“Is that so? Well, as it happens, I prefer cats anyway, though my summons is a slug.”
She had a summons? “You're a kunoichi?”
“Of course.” She grinned, taking a bite of her dango around the purring cat. “Have you heard of Senju Tsunade?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes. The Sannin, everyone knows who she is.”
Her grin turned smug. “I am her precious student. We've been here a week. Special request from the Hokage.”
If she was anything like her mentor, he had no doubt this lovely, petite girl was much more dangerous than she looked.
Strong.
“Oh, wow. Um…” He stammered, still not quite believing what was happening. “My name is Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi. Uh, this is Pakkun.”
She finished her dango and slid her stick into a back pocket, holding her hand out for him to shake. He adjusted his grip on Pakkun, taking her hand in his and feeling his entire world start to shift.
“Sakura, Haruno Sakura. Nice to meet you, Kakashi.”
Sakura. Of course, for her hair.
Her bright, unusual, waist length, beautiful pink hair.
“Yeah… it is… um, nice to meet you, that is.”
She chuckled and sat the cat down. “Goodbye kitty!” The curious thing that now seemed more like a miracle than something random, circled her ankle, rubbed against his leg and darted off.
Pakkun barked once. “Good riddance.”
“Stop it, Pakkun. It's just a little cat.”
He glared up at him, completely aghast.
“Well, I better get back to the hospital. There is a cute little Genin that needs my attention.” She looked him up and down. “Maybe I'll see you around, Kakashi.”
And just like that, she was gone, carrying off his heart in her delicate looking hands.
“Humph. As if. Who would want to be friends with a cat person?”
The kami heard his prayer. They…
“I think… I think that cat might have been a Kami, Pakkun.”
“What?” He wriggled to be put down. “Don't be ridiculous. What self respecting Kami would disguise themselves as a cat?”
“She's for me, Pakkun, the Kami… they put her in my path and led me right to her.”
“Since when do you care about Kami? Snap out of it, Boss. You're talking crazy. I know she was cute, but come on, she likes cats.”
Rare, light, happy laughter bubbled up in his chest, breaking free and badly shocking Pakkun. “Yeah, she does. Did you see her hair, Pakkun? It's pink, like, like that bubble-gum Gai likes… like her namesake.”
“Uh… yeah, I saw. Real pink. What's the big—” He huffed. “Boss, are you crying?”
Kakashi laughed again, reaching up and wiping his face. He was in fact. There were happy, amazed tears in his eyes. “They heard my prayer, Pakkun, the Kami, they heard…”
That small thing was back in his throat, less painful than before. She was beautiful, probably amazingly strong, with the tender hands of a healer, she was sweet and pink and he knew that he would love her.
Five days later, Kakashi slipped into the hospital with blood dripping down his face and into his good eye. Sakura had her own office already—unsurprising if she was Tsunade’s protege and as good as everyone was saying—and she happened to be in it. As it was lunch time, he stopped in the market on the way to pick her up something sweet. It was rude to come empty handed after all.
She screamed when he slipped through her window, tossing one of her chopsticks at him.
“Oh my gosh! What the, there's a door!”
He wiped the blood from his eye with his sleeve and gave her a sheepish grin, not that she could see he was smiling. “Yo.”
She frowned, squinting at him in confusion before recognition and a faint blush spread across her face. “Oh.” She sat her takeout down on her desk and straightened her hair. “Um, hello again, Kakashi. What can I um… that is, what are you doing here? In my office?”
Feeling exceptionally foolish now that he was here, but still too high on the miracle of her sudden appearance in his life to back down, Kakashi cleared his throat and held out his offering. “I stopped by the food stalls in the market on my way here. I was feeling a little peckish after my mission. I hoped I'd see you so I thought I should bring you something too.”
95% bullshit. He hadn't eaten in at least thirty-three hours, but he'd done a little asking around before he'd left for his last mission. He now knew that she did like sweets. Very much, in fact. The dango she'd been eating when they'd met was not a fluke.
Sweet.
She smiled, eyeing the proffered treat, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “Oh? You hoped you'd see me, did you?”
He nodded, taking a few steps closer to set it on her desk, pushing it across to her. The Kami sent her to you. Best be direct. “Yes.”
Lips pressed together beneath ever darkening cheeks, she peered up at his wound. “You're bleeding quite profusely. You took the time after debriefing to not only eat yourself but to go to the entire other end of that market street to get me dessert on your way here?”
Caught.
He tugged on his right ear, shifting his weight, examining the bland art on the wall behind her. “Ah… well, I might have just stopped to get you something. I'm sure I'll eat later.”
His eyes were drawn back to her when she snorted, stood and rounded her desk. “See that you do. Now, I guess since you by-passed normal hospital protocol and came straight to me, I better look at this.” She was biting her lip again, standing in front of him and indicating the gash on his hairline.
She smells nice. Like jasmine tea and spring rain.
“Well, I heard you're the best medic here, besides Senju-sama that is. Why would I bother with the other staff? They can hardly stand me, anyway.”
That peaked her interest. One fine slender pink brow arched as she set to work, resealing his wound with her mystic palm. “Is that so? Do you not always bring treats to thank your medic?”
Leaning into her touch, he muttered the truth, a bit embarrassed by his behavior for the first time in his life. “I'm not usually a very good patient.”
“Oh, no?”
Feeling his ears burn, he huffed. “Maybe I shouldn't have given you my name so soon. If you asked around, you might not get a flattering picture of my character.”
Her lips curled into a sly grin. “Well, I know how I'm spending my next break.”
His eyes crinkled. “In my defense, I hate it here. The nurses are abrasive, the beds are uncomfortable, and—” He sighed, admitting more than he meant to. “I spent too much time here when I was little.”
Her smile faded and her eyes searched what she could see of his face. “Were you a sickly child?”
He shrugged. “Nah, I've just been a shinobi since I was five. It comes with the job.”
Her face scrunched in disgust. “The leadership in this village is seriously depraved. Tsunade-shishou was only six.” She clicked her tongue and grumbled almost to herself, as if this were some old grievance. “No child of mine will be fighting so young, that's for sure.”
Something in him softened, her fierce protectiveness endearing her to him. She wanted kids? Did he?
If she was their mother.
Giving it a moment's real consideration, he knew he wouldn't want them graduating so young either. Five was negligent, honestly.
“It's better than Kiri. I've heard some pretty gruesome stories about their graduation exams.”
She huffed, unhappy, and Kakashi regretted ruining what had begun a light and flirtatious interaction.
Unsurprising, you ruin most things.
“So have I.” Finished with his wound, she stepped back, her hands folding in front of herself. “Well, you're fixed.”
“Right. Um… thanks.”
She glanced back at her desk. “Thanks for the daifuku. I needed something sweet today.”
Running a hand through his hair, grimacing when it caught in congealing blood, Kakashi tried to think of something to salvage the conversation. “Uh, well, you know, I figured my new favorite medic would be less likely to toss me out of her office if I brought her something to make it worth her while. What should I bring next time?”
That did it. Her smile was back. She huffed. “Favorite medic… You know, you could really get me into trouble, sneaking in here instead of checking in like everyone else. Injuries are meant to go on your record.”
He smirked, relieved that she still seemed to like him. “Well, I guess it will just have to be our little secret.”
Her laughter followed him out the window. “Bring me ice cream, next time!”
The next time he saw her ended up being after a two month long solo mission. That hadn't been his plan. He had planned to bring her that ice cream the next afternoon and ask her to dinner, but a high priority mission came down that night. He hadn't even had a full twenty-four hours off.
His injuries were less superficial, but still nothing life threatening. He didn't make it to the market this time, though. They didn't have to be life threatening to be painful as fuck.
Sakura wasn't in her office when he got there, but that was fine. He could wait.
What would she say if he admitted that he missed her?
It took him less than five minutes to pass out.
When he came to, he was in a lot less pain. None, actually.
There was a pen scratching somewhere nearby.
Rubbing his eyes, Kakashi sat up slowly. Sakura was at her desk, writing in what looked like a patient file, though from where he sat, it was hard to tell.
“You bled all over my couch.” He glanced down, wincing at the bloodstain on the woven brown cushions. “And you didn't even bring me anything for my trouble.” She tutted, still not looking up at him.
“Ah, sorry. It would have melted anyway.”
She snorted softly, finally looking up. “You must have been tired. I thought for sure you'd wake up when I popped your rib back in place. That's pretty painful. When was the last time you slept?”
He shrugged. “I'm not sure. I was by myself. Sometimes I summon my ninken to keep watch to get a few hours, but that uses a lot of chakra.”
She nodded, making a note in the file. Ah, probably mine, then. “From what I've heard from the abrasive nurses, you're not very good at following doctors orders. I'd tell you to make sure you're getting good sleep between missions, but that's probably futile.”
He rubbed his fingers along the edge of the cushion on either side of his thighs and huffed. “I can't remember the last time I got good sleep.”
His file flipped closed with a soft thwack and she observed him with pursed lips. “Hmm. Maybe you need someone to sleep with.”
Kakashi choked. “Well if you're offering.”
Her eyes widened comically as she realized what she said and her face nearly matched her hair. “Wait, that's not what I meant… I mean, I wouldn't—” She groaned and dropped her face into her hands. “I meant like a friend or something. Just to hang out so you feel safe enough to relax. Not—”
Kakashi chuckled at her blushing discomfort. “I don't really have anyone like that.” He gestured at her couch. “This was the best rest I've had in a while.”
She pouted. “You don't have friends?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Kakashi tried to make his life sound less pathetic than it really was. “Well, not really… I mean, there is Gai, I guess, but I wouldn't get any sleep with him around.”
“Oh, I've met him. Definitely too high energy for something like this.”
“He would probably find a way to make it a challenge. Maybe try to fall asleep faster.”
She tipped her head to the side and he was reminded of a curious puppy.
Cute.
“A challenge?”
“Ah, well, it's just this thing we've done since we were kids. I'm not sure why, but he decided we were rivals at some point and has been challenging me to all kinds of ridiculous contests ever since.” He shrugged. “I think I’m winning at the moment.”
Her smile looked charmed, and he wondered what she was thinking.
“I should probably let you get back to work.” He stood and leaned against the windowsill. He typically had at least a week off after such a long mission, but he could never be sure. The Hokage might decide to send him on another extended trip to the ass end of Suna tomorrow. As pretty as she was, she would probably have a boyfriend if he stayed away so long again.
Did she already?
White knuckling the windowsill he decided he couldn't waste a single day. The Kami might have brought them together, but that didn't mean he had unlimited time to make her fall for him. “Um, maybe this is kind of forward of me, but… are you seeing anyone?”
The blush flooded her face again and she cupped her cheeks in her hands. “Well, I've been on a few first dates, but I hadn't planned on seeing any of them again. There was this one guy I was hoping might ask me out, he kind of owes me ice cream.”
Butterflies. So many butterflies he thought he might be sick. “How about dinner? With me… tonight? I don't know about this other guy, but we could get ice cream after?”
She nodded, smiling like the noon sun. “That sounds perfect. I can meet you at six, out front by the fountain?”
“Sure, yeah… great. Six. I'll see you then.”
Kakashi hadn't been on many dates, less than a handful. A few drinks out with Genma had landed him in two or three random floral scented apartments for an impersonal fuck that did little to ease the ache in his heart. He wasn't even sure those counted as proper dates.
So he did not have much with which to compare his date with Sakura. Calling it ‘the best date he'd ever been on’ didn't really do it justice. Maybe, ‘the best date anyone had ever been on?’
He'd picked her up in front of the hospital at six, in fact he'd even been a little early. She had come sauntering up the street from her apparently nearby apartment right on time, the dark green dress she wore swung sweetly around her petite frame, accentuating her breasts enticingly.
Boldly taking her hand, Kakashi took her to a small seafood place he liked where they'd sat and talked for hours. About her life, her childhood, traveling with Tsunade and all of her favorite things. He shared more than he probably ever had; telling her a little about his first team, what the fourth had been like, and the most beautiful places he'd been to. They had agreed that the mountains in Kumo were stunning and theirs were the very best hot springs either of them had ever visited.
After that, he'd kept his promise and gotten her that ice cream. She loved the little stand near the restaurant and the chocolate sweet cream double scoop with sprinkles. Kakashi, not usually one for sweets, had accepted a bite of hers, charmed rather than annoyed by her attempt to see his face. They had walked as she ate, meandering around the village, their conversation getting deeper, more personal. When she asked to see his Sharingan, he let her, the cool, soothing rush of her chakra healing inflammation he'd never let anyone else touch.
By the time they finally said goodnight, the village was quiet and he was pretty sure it was technically the next day. At the bottom of the stairs that led to her apartment, she'd toyed with her hair and told him how much she enjoyed his company. He had badly wanted to kiss her properly, something he'd never done before. The sweet press of her lips against the corner of his masked mouth before she'd dashed up the stairs, had not been nearly enough of her.
They had two more dates and one literally earth shattering spar before he'd been pulled away on another long mission. This time, he had sent a grumbling Pakkun home with a letter for her somewhere around the one month mark, lamenting the lack of her exquisite company in his highly classified but extremely hot location. Pakkun had poofed back a whole day and a half later with her response and a decidedly better attitude. Apparently she happened to have had the time off and decided to spend it getting on the gruff pug’s good side. Her homemade liver biscuits were delicious and his fur shone with the luster only a truly luxurious pup bath could manage.
Pakkun offered to propose on his behalf.
By the time he finally made it home, he was desperate to see her. He got her two scoops of the ice-cream she liked, and slipped into her office. She was there as she usually was for her lunch hour, but she had passed out hard, drooling all over her stacks of paperwork. There was ink smudged on the back of her hand and deep dark circles around her eyes. When was the last time she'd had proper rest?
Putting the ice-cream in a stasis scroll—a rather complex and expensive seal scroll intended for corpses—he left it for her where she'd see it with a brief note.
I'm home,
You looked like you needed sleep as badly as I do. I got you something sweet.
I want to see you. I'll pick you up at six?
Kakashi
He had showered and taken a nap. By the time five thirty rolled around, he was wearing his only nice pair of non shinobi trousers— black and slim fitted— and a deep maroon kimono jacket over a clean masked undershirt. He so rarely went out not in uniform, he wasn't sure he'd ever even worn either garment. Looking at himself in his mirror, he decided he was glad he let Genma talk him into buying them.
She was waiting for him this time, her tight black dress and red painted lips sending signals that made him think she wanted the same thing he did.
“Kakashi!” She waved, meeting him in the middle of the street and eagerly wrapping her arms around his waist in a tight hug. “I missed you.”
He cupped her face, his eyes crinkling in a smile just for her. “I missed you, too, Sakura.”
Her eyes raked over him, her lower lip trapped between her teeth. “You look really nice.”
His skin burned all the way down his neck as he eyed the tops of her breasts, pressed against his chest. “So do you.”
She chuckled, a coy, sexy little thing, and reached for his hand. “Come on, I'm starving. Oh, thanks for the ice-cream, by the way. You didn't need to waste a stasis seal on that.”
His own laugh was a deep rumble in his chest. “I know, I wanted to.”
She fit herself into his side, smiling down at the pavement. “Well, I appreciated it. It was sweet, the gesture and the treat.”
It was probably far too soon to tell her, but Kakashi thought he might love her already.
This time after dinner, instead of a walk through the village or a stop by the training grounds, Sakura led him back to her apartment. Once it became obvious where they were going, she peeked up at him through her long pink lashes. “I had a lot of time to think while you were away, about you, about what I want for my life now that I'm not following Tsunade around the world. I know we've only been on a few dates, but with how long it's been, it hardly seems so brief.”
He guided them around a jagged gash in the pavement, pulling her closer into his side. “I know what you mean.”
She wasn't looking at him, her eyes downcast, but he could see the way his agreement made her smile. “I really like you, Kakashi, and where this is going. I like where it might go even more. I… We haven't talked about what this is yet, and I know it's still kind of new but… well I haven't been seeing anyone else, and I don't want to.”
A smile slid up his face as she talked, stoked by the heat he felt burning in his gut. “Are you asking me to be your ‘boyfriend?’” She blushed, pressing her face into his chest. “Because I'd like you to be my girlfriend.”
Pulling away slightly, she finally looked up at him. “Yeah? Cool, awesome… perfect.” She tucked her chin against her shoulder, hiding an adorable smile. “I'd like that too.”
They slowed to a stop at the bottom of her stairs. She exhaled sharply, keeping hold of his hand as she backed up the first step. Waving vaguely behind herself, she did a cute, awkward little wiggle. “Well, would my boyfriend like to come upstairs?” She bit her lip as she waited for him to answer. “If you want to, obviously, no pressure. You don't have to come up if you don't—”
He chuckled, stepping up to her, only a few inches taller with her standing on the step. Slipping a finger beneath the edge of his mask, he slowly tugged it down, enjoying the way her pupils dilated as she drank in his whole face. He swallowed her soft gasp, covering her lips with his. One of his hands cupped her face, the other gripped her hip, and when her lips parted, he deepened the kiss. It was the most magnificent thing he'd ever felt. He wanted so much more, forever and ever. She was his, the Kami themselves had given her to him to love and treasure, and he would never let her go.
Pausing to breathe, their foreheads pressed together, Kakashi smiled, gently urging her backward. “I'll come up.”
“Oh, thank Kami.”
As she dragged him down for another kiss as they slowly made their way up the stairs, he almost laughed.
Thank Kami, indeed.
Sunlight pricked at his eyes, slowly dragging him from sleep. A heady, delicious, sweet scent surrounded him like a cloud and he felt languid and content. Perfect. Memories from the night before filled his thoughts—of the way being with her made him feel, unlike anything he'd ever had before—and he wanted to sink right back into sleep.
He shifted, stretching an arm out from beneath himself, reaching for her.
Frowning, he turned his head. She wasn't there and the sheets were cool. He groaned, sitting up, scrubbing his eyes. Where was she?
A small, quiet voice in the back of his head whispered that she had left him. She must have woken up early, if she even slept at all, filled with regret. Just another in a long line of people he loved abandoning him.
But that couldn't be. Sakura wanted him. She was his. She'd said so many times the night before. More importantly, their entire relationship was divine intervention in his life. Before she appeared in front of him, he had shied away from the mere chance of love no matter how much he truly needed it. He'd been too afraid to even try because everyone he loved, everyone he'd ever cared about died.
That wouldn't happen with her. He had never been so confident of anything in his life. When he'd been at his lowest and dared to reach heavenward, the Kami had heard his plea and given him exactly what he'd asked for, exactly what he needed. She wouldn't abandon him, too. He could love her without fear, not holding anything back.
It was probably naive, everyone died and she was a kunoichi. He'd asked for someone to love him, not some immortal witch. But he refused to believe they would take her from him so soon.
Pessimistic voice silenced, Kakashi looked around for his shirt. Instead of his shirt, his eye landed on a folded up note on her pillow.
Kakashi
I'm sorry I won't be there when you wake up. I was called to the hospital for an emergency surgery at four a.m. You were sleeping so peacefully, I couldn't wake you. Feel free to use the shower or just go back to sleep. It didn't sound like it would take all morning. I’ll grab breakfast for us on my way home.
Sakura
He smiled down at her note.
She would be back and she expected he'd be there. Since they were both off the rest of the day, maybe they would spend it together. He would enjoy a lazy day with her, more sex if she was up for it, and later, he could make her lunch.
Did he want to shower?
Nah. Maybe later.
Setting her note down on the bedside table, he lay back down, wrapping himself in her blanket and her scent.
Kakashi had two entire weeks off this time and he spent as much of it with her as possible. They went on more dates and had a few dirty, no holds barred spars. He met her friends—a few he was unsurprised to find he already knew—and she beat Gai four times in a row when he challenged her to arm wrestling the one night they'd gone out for drinks. She even brought him home to meet her pseudo mother, Tsunade.
Apparently, they'd met before when he was too young to remember. He hadn't realized the Sannin was close with his parents. Claiming to have actually delivered him after a bottle and a half of sake, she'd spent thirty minutes rifling through old trunks until she produced photo proof. His mother, looking sweaty and exhausted, held a tiny infant with wisps of silver hair in her arms. Beside her, shoulder to shoulder, peering down at the fresh baby with a proud grin and a curiously stained shirt, sat Tsunade.
Kakashi had been stunned, gratefully accepting the photo when she offered for him to keep it. He only had two other pictures of his mother.
Needless to say, the older woman, who had all but adopted Sakura, was pleased that they'd found each other. He didn't have parents to care what he did, but he could tell how much it meant to Sakura that Tsunade approved.
None of that compared, however, to the most important revelation of all: Sakura liked Icha Icha.
They were enjoying another lazy afternoon in her apartment. After Kakashi made them lunch, she curled up against him on her plush sofa to read. The cover of her book looked extremely uninteresting, as was the volume on ocular tissue structure and regeneration he'd grabbed from her shelf. Fast growing bored, Kakashi dropped his cheek to rest on top of her head to peek at what had captured her attention.
Wait a minute…
It had nothing to do with advanced genjutsu tricks.
“Hey!” She screeched when he snatched it from her hands, slipping off the extra cover to see what it really was. “Give that back!”
Reading the title, Kakashi burst out laughing.
“Stop it, Kakashi!” She rolled over, crawling over him to grab for the book he'd held out of her reach. “Give me back my book!”
“Why were you hiding it from me?” She kneed him in the gut as she scrambled over him, laughing when he grunted. Deciding to match her energy, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and dragged her back, accidentally rolling them both off the couch. Chuckling at her pouting face where he'd pinned her beneath him on the floor, he kissed her nose. “I know you asked around about me before we started going out. Surely you know how much I love Icha Icha.”
She smirked, giving him half a second's warning before she was flipping them both over like he weighed nothing—which, with her skinny, chakra strengthened arms he probably didn't. He groaned when the back of his head hit the carpet with a thud, the book easily tugged from his hand with a triumphant grin. “I wasn't trying to hide it, and of course. That was the first thing Kurenai said when I told her I was interested in you.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes as he shifted beneath her, adjusting how she sat astride him. “You tell her you're interested in me, with all the baggage and slander and ghosts that haunt me everywhere I go, and that's what she chooses to warn you about?”
Some of the amusement faded from her eyes and she reached down to caress his cheek. “Kakashi, you're a shinobi. All shinobi, especially the great and famous ones, have that kind of baggage. She doesn't hold any of that against you and neither do I.” She leaned down to kiss the corner of his lips, amusement lighting her face. “But the public porn reading? That she finds truly abhorrent.”
He couldn't help but laugh at that, ever more grateful for this woman that somehow accepted every part of him. “ Maybe it's a little weird to read in public, but it stops people from bothering me. Besides, it isn't porn, it's romantic prose with artfully written love scenes.”
This set off nearly hysterical laughter. “That's—” She wiped her eyes, collapsing against his chest. “That's what I told her. You should have seen her face.”
If he didn't love her already, he knew he did now. “I mean, sure, he doesn't shy away from any details.” Kakashi felt his ears burn, thinking about his favorite scenes. “You can picture even the most absurd position clearly, but it's got nothing on the hard-core stuff I know every other guy reads when there aren't kunoichi around.”
She propped herself up on her forearms and nodded enthusiastically. “Right? I mean, I guess it technically is porn in that it depicts graphic sex for the sake of titillating the reader, but it's romantic and thoughtful.” Her face screwed up with secretive knowing. “Just don't tell Tsunade. She'd kill me if she knew I not only kept , but actually read the copy Jiraiya gave me for my eighteenth birthday. She’s the reason for the fake cover.”
He narrowed his eye, taking the book from her again to more carefully read the cover. Special edition ? “What's so ‘special’ about it?”
She smirked. “Three extra scenes. In my opinion, the best scenes.”
His eyebrows jumped up with interest. “Well, I guess we know what we're doing today.” Rolling them back over, he pulled her to her feet and tossed her over his shoulder, carrying her to her room. “I can't believe there's stuff I haven't read.”
Cackling, Sakura swatted at his backside. “I should ask him to send me the drafts for the second book. You'd love what he has so far.”
He would need to make a visit to the village shrine and make an offering later in the week. A big one, he was so grateful.
“Why would he stick me with you?”
The monkey masked ANBU op that was definitely Genma folded his arms and whined petulantly. “What are you talking about, ‘hound,’ we're best friends. We'll work great together.”
Kakashi would not call Genma his ‘best friend.’ Friend, sure. Best? Definitely not. If anyone could claim that title, it would probably be Gai, and he wasn't entirely comfortable with that designation. Outside of Sakura, he was still holding back.
Maybe he should stop that. She didn't seem to have any trouble holding friends close in her heart, despite knowing they could die any time, despite having lost people herself. ‘The fragility of life makes the good times so much sweeter.’
Certainly, the almost ridiculous joy he felt with her now was only magnified by the contrast it was against every day he'd lived before he met her.
If he continued to mostly shun the other people that wanted to be in his life, would he feel any less regret when they were gone?
Shaking away the heavy thoughts, Kakashi sheathed his short sword and closed his locker. “Whatever, let's go. We're meeting the rest of our new team to train in five minutes and I don't feel like being late today.”
All silliness evaporated and Genma slid to attention. “Yes, Captain.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes and started walking. At least he could be serious.
They didn't make it five feet before another ANBU, one of the Hokage's personal guards, was in front of them. “Your team is being sent out, the Hokage is waiting for you. The rest of your team has been notified.”
Kakashi sagged. He knew his break wouldn't last forever, but he would have liked his new team to have trained together some first.
“Let's go.”
Kneeling in the Hokage's office, Kakashi was surprised to see two people he did not expect. Senju Tsunade leaned against the front of the Hokage's desk, arms folded, face serious. Beside her stood a somber Sakura. Both women wore ANBU uniforms.
Something leden sank in his gut.
“You're going to Iwa. There have been sightings reported near their southern border of several S-rank missing nin, two of ours included. You're to rendezvous with a team from Iwa to assess the threat, neutralize it if possible. Do not let your guard down, our peace with Iwa is delicate. I wouldn't put it past the Tsuchikage to pull something.”
Tsunade scoffed. “I'm sure he's telling his people the same about you, Hiruzen.”
The Hokage nodded. “Oh of that I have no doubt.” He addressed Kakashi. “As you can see, I'm sending you with extra backup. This will be highly dangerous and I'd prefer as many of you come home as possible. Tsunade and Sakura are the best field medics on the planet. Additionally, I want Tsunade there specifically in case the rumors are true and Orochimaru is among the missing nin.”
Orochimaru. A chill went down his spine at the mere mention of the name. The last time Kakashi had seen the third Sannin, the overwhelming, terrifying pressure of his killing intent had paralyzed him. As much as he hated the idea of Sakura anywhere near such a threat, he knew she was strong and having both her and Tsunade meant there was a higher probability his entire team would make it home. It was more assurance than he'd ever had in the field before.
“Kakashi, you're captain of this mission. As much time as you've spent destroying the training grounds with Sakura, I expect you will have no trouble integrating them into any strategy.”
“Yes, Hokage.”
The team from Iwa was not a problem, sincerely interested in eliminating any potential threat from their border. The first leg of their mission went smoothly. It wasn't weird at all working with Sakura either. In the field, she was calm, focused, and professional. If it awakened something in him when she called him ‘Captain’ that he fully intended to explore later, well that was his business.
On their third day out, they finally encountered the enemy. There were six of them. They wore blue cloaks with red clouds and seemed to be three teams of two.
“Akatsuki.”
Sakura lay beside him where they spied their targets from the vantage atop a cliff. “You've seen them before?”
She nodded. “Tsunade-shishou and I have encountered them several times. We only engaged once and we barely escaped with our lives. That time it was the puppet Master from Suna.” She pointed helpfully before flipping through her Bingo book. “That tall blue guy—”
“Hoshigaki Kisame.”
“Yes, that wrapped blade he carries is called Samehada. It absorbs chakra. I don't know if you've ever encountered him, but he's incredibly dangerous.”
Shit. Every single one of them was incredibly dangerous. Individually, he was confident they could take them. All six of them? This was too much for even the two elite teams he had. And Orochimaru wasn't even among them. Their only chance was separating them.
“Let's retreat for now.”
“Yes, Captain.”
He didn't manage to suppress the shudder. Her rabbit mask turned slowly towards him and somehow he could see the smirk beneath it.
“Are you alright, Captain?”
Another shudder. He leaned in until their masks nearly touched. “I'm fine, Hare.”
She hummed and the sound was low and dangerous. Her fingers trailed along his arm as she backed up, retreating as ordered.
He needed to focus, but he really couldn't wait until they got home.
Back at their camp, Kakashi conferred with the Captain from Iwa. He agreed that any chance they had would require splitting them up and would be incredibly dangerous. Sakura and Tsunade's confirmation that they typically traveled in pairs led to the decision to watch and wait.
There weren't any pressing targets in Iwa and so far as they could tell, this was a social gathering. Taking on a single pair would be far less risky. Kakashi was confident that, based on their intel, their combined teams could handle any of the pairs. So they made themselves comfortable in their camp and kept watch.
Unfortunately, even the best laid plans had a tendency to go to shit.
Two days into their vigil, the ninken he'd sent with Sakura and the Iwa team was being attacked by the Suna puppet master and his partner. They had finally split up, and gone right for his other team, right for his girl.
“That puppet freak has had a hard on for Sakura ever since we faced him. Fuck!”
If Tsunade was openly worried, Kakashi knew every second counted.
She'll be okay, she has to be. They wouldn't take her from me yet.
It wasn't raining. There were no magical, rare sights in the heavens above as they raced through the sparsely wooded foothills. It was the middle of the day. The sun beat down on them, harsh and unrelenting. Beneath his feet, the dirt was dry and rocky, threatening his life with any misplaced step, but he hardly noticed as he ran with everything he had. He had to get to her.
Please
Kami-sama
You gave her to me. You put love and joy, a future I let myself trust in, into my hands. Please don't take it away from me, please don't make me live without her again.
If that's too much to ask…
Let me at least save her.
They burst through into a clearing, half the Iwa nin lay dead. And Sakura, his Sakura was locked, kunai to puppet arm, with a grotesque wooden beast twice the size of a man. Another of the robed members of the terrorist group ripped through the remaining Iwa nin, his murderous gaze on Sakura's unguarded back.
His chidori screamed and time slowed.
Kakashi moved like lightning.
The earth shook.
A familiar sight, replayed in every nightmare, burned into his Sharingan again. His arm pierced the chest of the unnamed bastard that had tried to kill his Sakura, striking her in the back like a coward. He'd made it just in time, hurling himself between her and death.
“Kakashi!”
Blackness crept in around the edges of his mismatched vision.
He coughed, and blood splattered across the grimacing face of his enemy.
Gasping for breath, Kakashi looked down at himself. The long, broad blade that had been aimed at Sakura was now lodged in his side. It cut him straight through.
Shit… this is probably bad.
Somewhere, someone was screaming his name. Sakura.
His knees gave out but his arm was still locked in a ribcage, that, and the blade in his side held him up. Fuck. It hurt.
He coughed and gasped again, unable to get a full breath.
“Duck, Kakashi!”
Grinding his teeth against the pain, he ducked.
Air rushed above him. There was the sickening crack of bone and a warm rush of blood down the back of his head. For half a heartbeat he thought he'd been hit. But then someone was pulling his arm free and clutching him dearly.
“Kakashi, oh Kakashi you damn idiot!”
His ANBU mask fell away and his blurring vision was filled with pink.
Sakura.
“I didn't ask you to do that, I didn't need you to… you can't die for me, Kakashi. Why would you, why did you do that?”
She was crying, tears falling unchecked down her beautiful face as she inspected his injury, her hands glowing with healing chakra.
More blood filled his mouth, coppery on his tongue as he struggled to draw in a shaky breath. Please don't cry. His hand, covered in someone else's blood, reached for her face, forcing her to look at him. “I… I had to.” His thumb caressed her cheek. “I couldn't lose you too, not you, my… my answered prayer.”
Leaning into his touch, her tears streaking through the blood on his fingers. “What are you talking about?”
Some of the pressure eased as her chakra seeped into his lung. “Before we met, I wanted to die.” Determined to explain before he finally did, Kakashi sucked in another breath. She needed to know what she meant to him. “I prayed, I asked the Kami to send someone to love me. Someone strong so I wouldn't worry, someone—” he wheezed “—someone sweet because I'm not, tender because I'm so broken, and pink, definitely pink, so I wouldn't miss her. And then,” A weak cough wracked him and her chakra flooded deeper, soothing. “And then, there you were, everything I asked for in my foolish despair. You, you are my answered prayer, Sakura.”
Watching him like she couldn't quite believe what he was saying, like it hurt her just a little bit to hear, Sakura sobbed. “Oh, oh Kakashi.” Her hair hung in a pink curtain around them as she leaned in, kissing his masked lips with salty desperation.
Wanting to taste her properly one last time, Kakashi slowly reached between them, slipping down his mask.
I love you.
And if I'm dying, for saving you, I die a happy man.
“Don't you dare.”
He tried to focus as she rocked back, fist full of his shirt, heartbroken fury in her bright green eyes.
“Don't you dare die on me, Kakashi. You don't get to say all that and just fuck off to the Pure Lands!” Her hand was warm on his cheek and Kakashi found himself mesmerized as thick black lines painted themselves across her face and down her neck. “The Kami sent me to love you? Well, I can't do that if you're gone.”
He groaned in blistering, blinding agony when she drew the blade from his side.
“Stay with me, stay with me please, Kakashi . We have to have a ridiculous, beautiful romance.”
Her small hands pressed hard against the wound, the heat of her chakra searing him from the inside out.
“And get married in the spring…” He nearly blacked out from the pain, her voice all that kept him tethered. “And have half a dozen cute as fuck little babies with pink or silver hair..” Her voice, and the picture she painted. “And they'll love your ninken and definitely that little cat.”
He longed for that life with her, ached for it.
“So don't you dare leave me, Kakashi.
Kami-sama, please.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kakashi walked down the road towards home, his hands tucked behind his head, doing his best to ignore the bickering of his students. It had been their first mission of any considerable length, and overall they had held it together well. He was proud of them, but for Kakashi, it had been two exhausting months away from his wife. He missed her terribly and, as usual when he was away, he had slept poorly. Now, nearly in sight of the village walls, he had little patience for their petty squabbling.
“Shut up, Sasuke! You're just mad Kiba ate all the tomatoes. Don't be such a grumpy jerk.”
Sasuke grumbled angrily. “They're my favorite part and you both know that! I didn't get any! He shouldn't even be eating them. Dogs can't eat tomatoes!”
Oh for fucks sake. I need a vacation.
“Tch, that's not true!” Kiba growled at his teammate, Akamaru following suit beside him. “Dogs can eat tomatoes just fine, isn't that right, Kakashi-sensei?”
Dragging his hands down his face, Kakashi released a long, put upon sigh. “Dogs can eat tomatoes, but Kiba isn't a dog, Sasuke. We've been over this.”
“You can't eat chocolate though, Sensei.” Naruto, always ready with unhelpful quips.
“I can eat chocolate fine, I just don't particularly like it. We have keen senses and sharp teeth, Naruto, that doesn't make us dogs.”
All three boys stopped walking to gape at him. “You have sharp teeth, too, Sensei?”
Earlier anger apparently forgotten, Sasuke squinted like he could see through his mask if only he tried hard enough. “Like Kiba, or are they more like the shark clan from Kiri?”
“Wow, sensei! We're even more alike than I thought!” Had Kiba a tail, it would be wagging. “I knew you'd always smelled faintly familiar. Was your mom and Inazuka? Or is all of that from your dad?”
I just want to kiss my wife.
Repressing the internal whining and reminding himself that he was the adult, Kakashi forced his eyes into a smiling crinkle. “I'll leave that up to your imagination, Sasuke. And while I got my dashing good looks from my father, the teeth and keen senses are a toss up as my father had them too.” Ruffling Kiba's hair, the smile he hid grew genuine. “My mother was an Inazuka. Her name was Yui, your own mother's cousin, I believe.”
“We're related! Why haven't you ever said? You've been our Sensei for over a year!”
He sighed again, squinting up at the cloudy blue sky. When Yui married Sakumo, she had offended her clan who had wanted her to marry another Inuzuka. In typical Inuzuka female fashion, she had told them all to fuck off and done what she wanted. By the time she died, she had not reconciled with her clan and he was never recognized as pack. Kakashi hadn't even known she was an Inuzuka until he married Sakura and they moved back into the Hatake property. His parents' marriage license had been among the many old documents they'd found in his father's room.
Why hadn't he told Kiba?
Why hadn't his mother told him?
“I never really thought about it until you asked. Sorry, Kiba.”
With the very last of his patience and emotional openness spent for the afternoon, he spun on his heel and started walking again. “Alright boys, enough dawdling, we're almost home and I miss my wife. Let's go.”
That got them moving. All three of them adored Sakura, who, unfortunately, doted on them far too much. ‘They're so cute! I can't help it!’ It probably didn't help that two of them were orphans who were not above playing the ‘sad lonely baby’ card to get her attention. Kiba, with all of their canine similarities, always made her think of those half a dozen babies she wanted. They were all terribly spoiled.
As much as he wanted to kiss her and carry her home to their bed to reunite properly, it was inevitable that he would have to share her time at least until after dinner. Oh well.
Ten minutes later, the village gates came into view. As usual, his Sakura, his answered prayer, was waiting for him with a luminous smile and an adorable, eager wiggle.
Ditching the boys, they could find their way, he flickered to her side. She shrieked with delighted laughter when he gathered her close. “Kakashi!”
Tugging his mask down around his chin—it would probably take the boys a few minutes to catch up—he kissed her and it felt like relief, it felt like home.
“I missed you so much, babe.”
She hummed sweetly, nuzzling his cheek. “I missed you, too. How much sleep did you get?”
He whined, pulling her closer. “You know I don't sleep much without you. I promise I tried.”
Her light laughter let him know she wasn't too upset. “Well I'm sure we'll both sleep better tonight.”
“Hm.” He kissed her neck. She smells so good. “I have no doubts about that.”
“Kakashi,” She pushed gently on his chest so she could reach into her hip pouch, looking up at him with a shy, excited grin. “I have something to tell you.” Slipping him a piece of paper, she took half a step back, practically bouncing in place.
“What is…” Upon close inspection of the fuzzy black and white paper, Kakashi realized what he was looking at. It was a picture. Two pictures.
“I'm pregnant! You're a Dad!”
The corners of his eyes stung and an almost painful smile split his face. He couldn't take his eyes off the pictures, helpfully labeled ‘baby A’ and ‘baby B.’ Twins. Well, he supposed they were making a good start at half a dozen.
“Well?”
Finally looking up at her, Kakashi didn't even know what to say. His heart ached. He was so happy.
Before he could find the words, three adolescent boys crowded them. Sakura gasped and yanked his mask back up just in time.
“Sakura!”
Unceremoniously pushing him aside, his boys jostled each other to hug her first.
“Hey, hey now!” He grabbed them all by the backs of their shirts. “Don't push, be careful, and wash your hands first, would you? You three are probably covered in germs.”
“What?”
Sakura laughed at them. “ Kakashi.”
“Why can't we hug her?”
“Oh, you smell really nice, Sakura!”
“Um… thanks, Kiba?”
“What's wrong, Kakashi-sensei?”
Smiling over their heads at his wife, he shared the best news of his life. “Nothings wrong, boys. It's only that my beautiful wife is pregnant.”
“Oh, wow!”
“Congratulations, Sakura! You'll be the best mom!”
“That's awesome, is it a boy or girl?”
“Thank you boys.” She gave Kakashi a look and he released them into her waiting arms. “And, well… actually, it's both! A boy and a girl! We're having twins!”
A boy and a girl.
He was a dad. He was going to have a baby. Two babies. Naruto was right, Sakura would be a great mother and he couldn't wait.
“What color hair do you think they'll have?”
Kiba reached up to kiss Sakura's cheek before taking off after Naruto, Sasuke following behind them. “Probably pink. I bet the girl will be pink at least.”
Sasuke scoffed. “That's too obvious. I bet the boy will have pink hair.”
Ignoring the boys as they headed off, Kakashi pulled his wife back into his arms, nose to nose, feeling his entire world start to shift again.
"I'm so happy, Sakura. Thank you."
She smiled, and it was small and warm and radiant. "Thank the Kami."
Nuzzling her cheek, grateful joy filling him completely. "I do, every day.”